#ig that’s what growing up does to you lol don’t mind me

[yassifiedshrek]

does anyone remember the “mr. x” shit??

looking thru my old posts on this blog and apparently that was like some crazy ass drama in the 1D fandom

[fuckmycrane]

Moon — Thomas Shelby.

— CW: 18+!, smut. breeding kink, (slight) housewife kink, mentions of kidnaping. Age gap. | word count: 1.7k. (not proofread!)

— a/n: I have no clue from where this came from. I'm not in the best mindset and this happened. This is also my first time writing for Tommy so don't hate me lol. This isn't canon compliant ig because I don't want it to be. I just want him so bad it's not even funny.

Vulnerability. 

It was a word he never thought he’d truly understand the meaning of. 

It was always meant to be a secret. Why? Because good things don’t last long— not for him. Never for him. 

And every time he is away from you, it is a constant heartache that not even the strongest alcohol or an insane amount of tobacco could ease. He wishes he could steal the moon from the dark skies of Birmingham and hand it to you, he knows how much you love the moon. Night after night, he raises his head to stare at it for hours, wondering where are you, if you are thinking about him as much as he is thinking of you.

Wondering if you love him as much as he loves you.

Love. Such a funny word. A meaning both so full and so empty.

He wishes he could steal you. 

He knows how much he loves you.

It is always better to be safe than sorry— that’s why he secluded you, and you understood. Perhaps it was the naivety granted by your young age, or maybe it was your blind love for a man who was doomed since the day he was born. Whatever it was, it kept both of your hearts attached, beating as one; watching the same moon.

He counts the days, the hours, and sometimes even the minutes; he is a smart man, he knows where you are and with whom, he knows what dress you wore and who you talked to. And he does it for love. Or even obsession. A strange urge that creeps into him every night when he thinks of you after a long day of work— an urge to be loved. He counts the days, the hours, and sometimes even the minutes until he is able to see you again. To hide under that perfect, warm blanket that is your arms, your kisses, your body. 

In front of your front door, he knocks even though he knows the door is open. He has guards on every corner, eyes on every window. He already lost too many precious things in his life. He can’t afford to lose you. He built you a house, a paradise for you to enjoy, cherish and take care of. He gave you everything you could ask for, even more. Growing up, you never experienced the same deficiencies and struggles he did, you never had to lift a single finger and that’s alright for him. Because on those days when he feels powerless and exhausted, he knows he can always ride back home, and regain that power by standing next to you. 

Home. Home. Home.

“Tommy!” The squeak of excitement makes the long trip worth it. Everything is worth it if it comes to you.

He hugs you, keeping you tight against his chest wishing he could stay that way forever, basking in your delicate soul, your selfless heart. Thomas calls your name in an affectionate way that no one could evoke in such a genuine way. He kisses you with such passion that makes your blood boil and your heart flutter.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, ignoring how his mind scolds him for the hint of vulnerability that laces his voice. 

Placing your hands over your stomach, his body tenses at the small bump underneath your expensive, tailored dress. “We feel good, we missed you— I missed you” You reply with adoration. He is finally here.

“I’m here,” He says as if you needed confirmation that he is in fact in front of you. 

“How is everyone?” 

“Good” He places a large hand over your stomach, rubbing it with his palm. “Ada keeps asking me when I will bring you back to Small Heath”

“And when will that be?” Your question gives him a pang of guilt. He wishes he could have an answer, his face says it all. “It’s alright, love. I understand things are… difficult”

“Enough about that” He breathes, cupping your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. He wants the distraction, he wants the warmth, he wants you. “I’m here to see my wife, not to talk about work”

With a giggle, you kiss him. “Fine. Whatever you want”

And he loves that. He loves how willing to please you are. He loves how you let him guide you upstairs, undress you, and adore you. Thomas’ hands caress the small bump in your stomach as he carefully lifts his hips to thrust deeper, enjoying every small moan and gasp. Normally he isn’t this gentle, but he will never harm you or your baby. With his occasional grunts and pants, he grabs your thighs, increasing his pace. Watching you bounce on top of him is a heavenly sight and is in these moments when he is sure you are an angel sent from heaven from him. He might not believe in God but whatever exists in this cruel world granted him with a Goddess.

“I m–missed you” You moan digging your nails into the pale skin of his shoulders. “I missed you s–so much”

That damn wave of vulnerability washes over him, the bed creaks with your combined weight, creating a delicious, sinful melody that he evokes on those nights when he is too desperate for your body and has to find relief in his own hands. 

His large hands cup your breasts, paying attention to your swollen, sensitive nipples. Thomas pinches them gently watching you tremble. He can already imagine them full and heavy, ready to take care of the baby that you are expecting— his baby. A louder groan falls down his lips at the thought. Such a wonderful mother you will be. Such a perfect, precious housewife. 

Such an angel sent from heaven.

“I love how you look” He confesses in a husky fashion, bouncing your tits in his calloused palms. “I can’t wait to see you— to see you all round and heavy with my baby”

His words send a shiver down your spine, clenching around him and making Thomas hiss from the raw pleasure of your tight pussy. “Please— don’t stop”

“I wasn’t plannin’ on, doll”

Thomas dares to increase the pace, using one hand to grope your ass to keep balance. Your moans also increase in volume, igniting the primal desire to claim you inside of him. “You are so fucking tight— I will fucking pump another baby into you as soon as you have this one”

You nod fervently, closing your eyes and scratching his chest. “Yes! I’ll have as many as you want Tommy— anything you want! Anything”

The loyalty he so loves. 

His lust wins over his composure for a moment, landing a sharp slap over your asscheek that makes you whine and clench again causing him to grit his teeth. He is aware of how much you adore it when he is rough with you, he thrives on the submission you gave him since day one. Unable to help himself, your husband slaps your ass repeatedly, relishing the cries of pleasure that call him like a siren to a poor, lost sailor. 

“Say you are mine” He grunts after another hard slap. He isn’t going to last any longer. Not with such a breathtaking view. 

“I belong to you!” You comply instantly. “I am y–yours! I’ve always been” He knows you are telling the truth. That’s why he had to take you away from your home, to manipulate you in order to give up your last name, to cast you under his spell— that’s why he had to have you since he first landed eyes on you. 

But at the end of the day, he was the one wrapped around your finger.

He is the one wrapped around the velvety, soft walls of your cunt, squeezing him for dear life and silently begging him to breed you, use you, claim you…

Love you.

With a strained cry, you come around him. He could watch you unravel on top of him for hours— in fact, he has.  Your movements were slow, deliberate, and intense. He could feel his breath hitch as you moved, and his heart raced as you arrived at your climax. His gaze was unwavering as he watched you ride out the waves of your pleasure. Thomas followed you seconds after, moaning your name under his breath; he fills you up just the way you both adore, it’s evident that when the hours pass, time is the only thing left to waste. Panting above him, he carefully settles you next to him, spooning you and keeping his softening cock inside of you. This is how he wants to end every day, to wake up every morning. 

Kissing your sweaty neck, he breathes you in, memorizing your scent once again. He knows his time with you is limited before someone notices his absence and begins to track him. Thomas needs to be two steps ahead of anyone. Your soft giggles make him smile, a genuine smile that feels so foreign to him. Under the darkness of your bedroom, his hands caress your hot skin, providing you with the heat and care he knows you crave. 

“I love you” You whisper, closing your eyes and falling asleep rather quickly. He listens to your heavy breathing, peaceful and unbothered; and that’s how he wishes it could stay forever. Away from worries, stress, fear. 

“I love you, more than you can imagine” He musters, hiding his face on the crook of your neck.

It’s true. Because love is such a funny word that gives him such a funny feeling. 

A warm, fuzzy feeling.

He opens his eyes, raising his head to look at the windows. The curtains are wide open, the weak glow of the full moon casting a divine glow over your naked body. His lips land on your shoulder, allowing the sensation to wash over him. It's a moment of peace and serenity, a moment in time that will never be forgotten. A moment he doesn’t want to end. 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he will bring you back where you belong. It doesn’t matter the consequences, it doesn’t matter if the whole world finds out Thomas Shelby was the one who kidnaped Jack Nelson’s younger sister. As long as he has you, he is alive.

And he swears it to the moon.

[purifiedclitoris69]

In it together

Hiii. I am alive, just very busy and overwhelmed with living ig. College fucking sucks and so does everything else rn, but figured i get a lil blurb out before i have to lock back into my classes. hope you enjoy!! don’t really know what ima do w my series or when ima update so i am sorry bout that LOL. anyway bye for now 👋👋

You were absolutely exhausted. A 2 week mission with only 3 hours of sleep total takes an intense toll, even if you are a super soldier. Letting the burning hot water run down your back , flashes of the recent mission ran through your mind. The experiment files were horrific, so many deaths, so many children.

You had only been at the compound for about a year and a half now, the team rescuing you from Hydra’s control like Bucky. You were free of the brainwash but not of the memories and this long ass mission had brought it all right back to the surface. It was getting better, your in therapy, bonding with the team, learning how to control your strength, your growing. But this mission, feels like it’s all about to come crumbling down. It made you feel sick. Thoughts of losing yourself, the team… of losing, Natasha, it burned your throat.

What you have with Natasha is confusing, complicated, but nice. No one else knows the true nature of it but you two. Falling into each others beds continuously for the past 8 months, staying tangled in each other, every single night, cuddling, and giggling like little teen girls. The team simply thought you guys were close friends, both you two being spies, it wasn’t too hard to hide your extracurriculars. But you both knew it was more, so much more. You held each other in the most gentlest ways…the most loving, opting not to leave one another when you guys inevitably came undone. In front of the team, you had a front, a quiet brooding one, but with her, it was peaceful, relieving, you felt free, like yourself. It was absolutely terrifying.

Not realizing it tears were beginning to mix with the water running down your face and crescent marks formed in your palms from clenching your fists too hard. You love her. You’re in love with her, but how could you tell her, would you. Your whole life you’ve been used as a weapon, serving for the military, then hydra. You were dangerous…a monster. It was late, almost 2 am, you couldn’t go to her now, she need rest, not a burden. no matter how much you yearned for her warmth. Turning off the burning water, you stepped out into the steam filled bathroom. Drying off, you wrapped the towel around your waist and another draped over your shoulders, you opened the door to your bedroom-on your bed sat Nat. Dark circles surrounded her eyes, her hair was slightly ruffled, she wore an old shirt of yours, and some of her loose sleep shorts. She looked absolutely stunning, you couldn’t help but give a soft tired smile.

“hi.” she spoke softly with a matching smile.

“hi,” you answered stopped in place just taking her in.

“you gonna get dressed,” she smirked tiredly, “tho i don’t mind.”

“oh really” you joked walking over to her and cupping her face as she looked up at you, “i missed you,” you spoke softly the tiredness bringing out a transparency.

She leaned into your hand closing her eyes, “i missed you,” she answered. Your heart swelled and the flashes came back, you could hurt her, what if you lose it. Suddenly taking a step back her cheek still warm from your touch, her eyes flew open. You turned your back, getting dressed by your closet, “is everything okay,” she asked as you pulled your tank top over your head and braced yourself against your dresser.

You opened your mouth unsure what you wanted her to know, “yeah,” was all you could muster.

“I really did miss you,” she walked up behind you wrapping her arms around your waist and leaning her check against your back, just enjoying your smell, “i don’t sleep well without you anymore.”

“me either,” you turned around wrapping your own arms around her middle and looking to the side as hers went to your neck, “it was a rough mission,” you mumbled

“oh, baby,” she spoke, moving her hands to your face this time, “look at me please,” your eyes were burning with unshed tears as they met her soft deep green ones, “oh, my love, it’s okay,” she brought your head down to her shoulder as you released a shaky breath and let your arms fall from around her waist, “is there something else,” she asked dropping her own hands. You walked past her to sit on the bed not really sure where to start as you looked at your hands in your lap, “we don’t have to talk about it, it’s okay,” she spoke sitting beside you and gently take your hands in her own.

You finally looked back at her face, your eyes still glossy. You stared deep into each others eyes, “you’re so beautiful, Natasha,” you said memorizing every detail of her. She laughed quietly as a soft blush rose to her face.

“Shut up,” she said putting her forehead against hers.

She closed her eyes at the action as yours remained open, “I mean it, you’re the prettiest girl there is.”

Her blush grew as she pulled back and looked away slightly, “god i love you,” she mumbled out casually bringing shock to both your faces. She immediately pulled her hands away and stood from the bed, her mouth opening and closing unsure what to say as you looked at her, overwhelmed with emotions, “y/n i’m sorry i-“

“You do?” you asked getting up from the bed with her, “you love me?”

“I..” She spoke uncertain, taking a deep breath in, “y/n i’m in love with you.” You laughed slightly in disbelief. You moved towards her with purpose grabbing her waist and pulling her into a bruising kiss, pouring every amount of love into it as possible, like it was the last time, like you were consumed by everything Natasha. You both grinned wide into the kiss, forcing the two of you to break apart.

Taking a deep breath, “Tasha, I..,” the thoughts all came rushing back. Your going to hurt her, you don’t deserve this love, your going to lose it all.

She moved her hands down from your neck to intertwine with your own, “I know,” she whispered.

“I really do,” you said, your foreheads still pressed together, “I..,” your mouth fell open and closed absolutely terrified to say something wrong, “Im just scared,” you mumbled, closing your eyes, but never dropping your hold.

“Don’t be,” she answered, moving her hands back up to cup your face, “we’re in this together.”

[cirqosmos]

Hiiiiii!

AHHHHH I'm so ready for all the &team requests to come through!

So my first request is for our beautiful boy K. Can I please request a one-shot kinda vibe where he tries to teach you one of their choreos (whatever your favourite one is) and you struggle a bit but he is so patient with you? Like he reassures you and shows you again. Just a fluffy ending where you are just crazy in love ♡

Thank youuuuuu!

THAT'S MY GIRL ! | KOGA YUDAI (K) &TEAM

warning : a little suggestive ig but it's all fluff lol

wc : 1.2k

author's note : i srsly dunno what to name this oneshot but bc of my 'desperation' to name each oneshot for aesthetic purposes for the masterlist, so yea 🗿

A series of panting left your mouth as you tried to execute the dance part in Firework’s chorus, which was apparently Kei’s part and the choreo he contributed for it. Well, it’s safe to say that the jumping part itself was the hardest to execute as every time you tried to do it, your feet proceeded to betray you by pointing in the other way. Mind you, you haven’t even learn past the jumping part despite flawlessly learning the intro’s choreo.

It feels as if your earlier petty arrogance got in the back of your head, and causing you to eat your own words eventually.

A breath of giggle echoes right through your ear, one that drips in honey, one that you’re very well familiar of. “You can do it, babe.”

“Seriously, how did you even came up with this choreo?” gripping your knees as you panted hard, your heart skipped a thousand thumps against your ribs in a millisecond—threatening to fly out at any moment.

Kei hummed in response, his eyes darting around the space as he leaned against the large mirror. “Just something I think would fit the chorus a lot, plus it screams desperation so I thought why not.”

“Yeah right, so much desperation that I couldn’t even execute this damn jump.”

“I just showed you the execution about maybe.. A thousand times?” His doe eyes pierce right through your soul, holding traces of playfulness.

“Shut up.”

Another audible giggle squeezes it way out of his mouth, a slight smirk with traces of grin adorned his plump lips. “C’mon babe, don’t you think you can do better than this? I’m rooting for you.”

“Stop teasing me.”

“Teasing you is my daily pleasure.”

You scoffed in return, turning your head in the other side with your arms crossed. Your little action itself had Kei shaking his head in amusement, approaching you ever so fast despite the small amount of steps he took, something that you very well know obviously rooted from his humongous height. Damn dude, just what did his parents fed him?

His large palms flattened above your head, ruffling your hair in tender motion as he lowers his head to compensate for his height. “Look at me, love.” You pouted with another inner scoff, audible enough for him to hear. To your surprise, something poke against your cheek and you realise it was his index finger paired with his adorable features contorting in his familiar mischievousness. “Dinner, later. Your reward, if you can get past the choreo I made. Sounds good?”

You narrowed your eyes in suspicion with your mouth protruding in a slight pout, “You sure?”

“Did I ever lie, though?”

“Last time you did, with that goddamn Yuma. Stealing my candy bars.”

“You’ve been eating way too much, that’s for your own good—” you tried to protest but he interrupted you quickly by leaning even closer to your face, his lips pulling up in a growing smirk. “Just listen to me, I’ve never failed to reward you anyways.”

That alone had your ears heating up, his choices of words held a thousand meanings in it yet his expression confirms which exactly he meant. Yet you held the need to question him or whatnot, pulling away in attempts to soothe your rampant heart. “Alright, alright.”

You mentally slap yourself in your imaginary space, that even though you’ve dated Kei for at least six months—his choices of words, the way his doe eyes softened at your appearance, his hands touching you in utmost tender way as if you were such a fragile thing paired with his ungodly vibes—still wreck your mind in numerous ways possible, just like when your eyes first laid on him back then.

“Let’s try again, I’ll show you one more time.” Kei pulls up a supportive grin despite his earlier mischievousness, opting to press the play button for the speaker, in which the nerve-wracking song you’ve heard a thousand times today bled out and consumed the entire dance room in it’s booming retro synth pop.

The impact of his foot landing on the dance floor paired with his fast execution had your mind boggled despite already seeing it for numerous times from the music shows, live performance, and dance practices. The way he pushed himself up with extra detail with those miniscule movements hidden in the edges of his form had you admiring just how dedicated he was in perfecting his craft. It had the deception of zero to no difficulty yet when you perform it yourself, it dawned on you and made you wonder just how many times did Kei practise this in order to show to his teammates and the choreographer.

Such little things had your heartstrings pulled even closer and tighter around his hands.

“Did you got it? You just have to push your foot and spring upwards, like running you know but in the air—” Kei repeated each miniscule section of the choreo in the best way possible, as slow as he can for you to understand. Despite his playfulness and jokes, he never actually pick on your dancing skills nor complain about how many times it had take for you, as if he was truly attentive in what to say and what not to say.

With full-blown determination paired with your fists tightening, the speaker returned back to a few seconds in the song before proceeding with the booming chorus.

“One, two, three—” your feet slided down the floor resulting in a squeak of your rubber shoes as you executed the jump, the vocals of Kei soon followed after Nicholas’ which had your heart churning of what if’s yet you pushed through, ending it with by brushing your hand against your neck and raising it up in the air.

A series of claps emitted after the chorus, turning it down a few volumes down for you to realise it was from Kei who was leaning against the wall with a proud smile on his lips, and his pretty eyes curling in crescents—his dark grey orbs exudes satisfaction and yet infatuation—all for you. “Now that’s my girl.”

‘My girl.’ that particular sentence rang in your mind akin to a church’s booming bell, one that resembles a silent vow engrained in the words—that you are his girl, his one and only. An emergency light rang inside you as a grin threatens to squeezes it was out of your lips, but eventually you gave it up, crossing your arms. “Of course, I do. Now where’s my reward?”

Your eyes softened as it lingered on the way his tender black strands bouncing on top of his fluttering eyelashes, the ever so proud grin never ceases to exists in the corners of his lips as the audible sound of his shoes approached you. Halting his steps after enclosing the distance between the two of you showcases his towering height in a stark contrast of yours, you look up to him with a sentence repeating in a traces of disbelief—the fact that this man was all yours had you melting like a butter at this point.

“Your reward,” His palms met the side of your cheeks, caressing it in a way that had you closing your eyes in order to sense it in your swelling heart. “Can wait later, what if I teach you another choreo?”

Your breath hitched down your throat and your mind immediately processed the information with a manifestation down the veins of your hands, launching midway in the air as you slammed it down his chest—causing him to yelp in slight pain.

“I’m done, look at me, I’m all drenched.” You scoffed, “Learn it by yourself, Koga Yudai! I want my food!”

Kei shakes his head in amusement, following after you by swinging his arms around your shoulder. “Alright, alright. Food is it, gonna treat you so well then.”

「 © talesofyuan on tumblr 2023 」 all rights reserved. do not copy or post without permission.

[heartshyuck]

Die for me 

pairing: haechan x reader 

genre: ANGST, thriller/horror, some fluff ig, established relationship, magic au. 

synopsis: Grief leads to desperation and fear. Haechan can no longer handle the grief that eats away at him. He’ll do anything to bring you back to his side, even if it means to defy death. 

word count: 7k

warnings: death, smut but it’s … not?, manic episodes (funeral mania), delusion, hypo mania, blood, violence, rituals to bring back the dead, distorted bodies, suicide, self harm and profanities. 

a/n: this is my first fic after a while! Of course it’s a hyuck fic but because it’s been so long I apologise if it’s a little rusty. This fic actually made me sob lol, like full on ugly cry. Now what I mean by smut but not smut is that it happening but like bro wtf is happening yk. If you don’t get it then you’ll see, minors please dni. It has a lot of dark themes, don’t read if you’re not fully comfortable reading about all the warnings. 

Grief is an ugly emotion. All consuming and rooted into the depths of your bones, muscles deteriorating and flesh being eaten away - it rots you whole but it does not change you. Grief only reveals what is the worst of you, stripped down to your core. Desperate. It feels like fear.

Stage one: denial

Haechan sits in your shared apartment, or what used to be. His hands twisting and turning the silver band that weighs heavy on his finger. His eyes, red and drooping but still tears manage to fall slowly despite the sting. He stares at your ring that now lies on the table, its once matching silver band now coated in a crust of dried blood. The images of your lifeless body lying on the road resurface and a new fresh wave of tears break the dam once more. His breath becomes heavy, fast and uncontrollable, he lets out a sob - lips quivering. His face is contoured by pain that lies heavy in his chest, a pain that forms a numbness, emptiness. He cries until he tires, eyes drooping and red, they finally close - the cycle continues.

The doorbell rings again. Haechan is still in his suite from the funeral when he rubs his eyes awake. His head pounding and ears ringing, he looks around to see where he is and he’s still lying on the couch. “______” he calls out, getting up to find the bedroom empty, “_____” he calls again as he heads to the door, the doorbell still ringing. “_____?” he questions as he swings the door open, only to find Mark with a deep frown on his face.

“Hey” Haechan says, yawning, rubbing his eyes that are still sore. “Come in” he says, opening the door wider for Mark to step in. “_____ isn’t home right now, must have gone out to go get something.” and Marks frown only deepens, his eyes watery and he stares at Haechan as if he’s hurt. “What’s wrong?”

“Hyuck” Mark’s voice cracks, his lips quivering

“What’s wrong?” Haechan panics “Mark what is it?” but the older doesn't answer, tears streaming down his face “What is it?” Haechan’s jaw is tight and the words struggle through as he grows impatient, fear settling in the pit of his stomach. “Mark!”

“_____’s gone” he says crashing into him, arms engulfing Haechan

“What do you mean gone?” He says in a small unsure chuckle

“She’s gone, Hyuck. She died two days ago” he sobs and Haechan’s legs give way below him, dropping to his knees, he shakes as the tears come back once again and Mark’s still holding on to him.

“This is a sick joke Mark” Haechan tries to even his breathing, “seriously not funny” he sniffles and Mark only pulls him in closer, holds him tighter. “Where’s ______?” Mark doesn’t answer, shivering with sobs that echo throughout his body, “Mark?!” Haechan’s voice is desperate and broken. “Please” he begs.

Mark can only shake his head, gripping onto Haechan’s suit jacket, “She’s gone.” He repeats again and again until the words swirl around in the air, Haechan’s mind going dizzy and his vision blurring with tears, his breathing shallows and his heart aches.

Haechan wakes up in his bed this time, shoes kicked off , jacket and tie thrown onto the floor - there’s no sight of you or Mark who he remembers being here. His head is pounding but he doesn't remember drinking, he presses the base of his palms into his eyes trying to get rid of the soreness. He grabs for his phone that’s on the bedside table and displays it’s eleven pm, and he turns to his side to see your side of the bed is still empty. “______?” he calls out but there’s no response, you must be wearing your headphones he thinks. Sighing, his body heavy, he swings his legs out of bed to search for you.

“_____” He calls out again as he enters into the living room where he expects to find you on the floor, papers sprawled out in front of you, laptop on the coffee table and you furiously typing away and he’d probably have to drag you away from your work and into bed. You’ll insist that you’ll be finished in five more minutes but you both know that’s a lie. He’ll ask if you have eaten anything and you’d guiltily shake your head, so Haechan would head into the kitchen and make the bargain that you could work until he came back with food, then after you’d have to eat and join him in bed. But you’re not there.

Maybe you’re coming late from work, he thinks and makes his way back into the bedroom to call you. It rings once, twice, three times, four times, five times and then finally “Hello” Haechan smiles, “Hey Hyuck! Nah i’m just kidding, this is my voicemail loser! Leave me a message if it’s important, love you” You voice says back to him and no matter how annoying it is, Haechan can’t help but smile when he hears it. “I love you too” is all he leaves in his message.

There’s one more person to call when you go awol like this, head buried in work forgetting that there’s a life outside of that office of yours. “Hey Jaemin” Haechan says as the rings finally stop

“Hey hyuck” Jaemin’s words are careful, his voice solemn.

“Is ______ at the office still? It’s pretty late and I’m guessing you’re still there too because you’re just as bad as her” Haechan laughs but Jaemin stays quiet.

“No she’s not here.” Jaemin says softly after some time.

“That’s strange” Hyuck replies, a little worried.

“How about I come by?” Jaemin offers

“Sure?”

It’s close to midnight by the time the door rings and Haechan jumps up hoping you forgot your keys but once he swings the door open, his smile drops upon seeing Jaemin standing there instead.

“Come on, I’m not that bad” Jaemin offers a small smile. “How are you doing?” he asks, carefully

“I’m okay” Haechan says as he lets him, leading him into the living room, “worried where _____ is though, I called her parents but they just said I shouldn’t be alone right now and told me to drive down.” He shrugs confused.

“Maybe you should take that offer?” Jaemin lifts an eyebrow “or go to your parents, I know your mum wants you back”

“Maybe but they’re acting weird, I’m not sure what it is really” Haechan says as he drops onto the couch “I’ll talk about it with _____ and see if she wants to go this weekend” he yawns and at his words Jaemin grimaces.

“You want to spend the night at mine? Come on I insist” Jaemin pushes

“I’d love to but ______ isn’t home yet.”

“Hyuck” Jaemin sighs

“What?”

“_______ is dead.”

“I don’t know why you and Mark think this is funny but seriously this needs to stop” Haechan sighs

“Get up. Now!” Jaemin pull Haechan off the couch, “put your shoes and jacket on”

“Jaemin seriously I’m not going anywhere until ______ comes back”

“I’m taking you to her”

The drive was silent, Jaemin didn’t say where you were but Haechan got into the car without hesitation, it felt like years he’d spent away from you. The only sound that filled the silence was the splashing of rain against the surface of the car. The windshield wipers are relentless in their work, continuously wiping again and again but to no avail as the rain too is relentless.

Jaemin stops the car outside a graveyard and fear rises in Haechan “What are we doing here?” he asks in a panic but Jaemin doesn’t answer, instead turning to open the door he walks out and waits for Haechan to follow him. “Jaemin?” he calls out after him as he follows him through the rows of graves “Jaemin! Answer me!”

“No you listen to me!” He turns as he screams; rain drenching him, his hair sticks to his forehead. He grabs Haechan’s shirt, pulling him closer and turning him towards the headstone that reads __________, beloved daughter and wife. “She’s gone and she’s not coming back” Jaemin cries as he shakes him. Haechan stares at your name etched onto the stone and his mind swirls, his eyes blur and reality finally falls into place. He pushes Jaemin off of him, falls to his knees, and an ugly sob ripples through him.

“She’s gone hyuck but she wouldn’t want you to live like this. It’s time you accept it, to remember the amazing person she was and why you fell in love with her and then learn to live without her. You have to accept this so you can heal. Jaemin says as he falls beside Haechan, rubbing up and down his back - trying to comfort him.

“I can’t heal.” Haechan chokes out “I don’t want to”

"Grief is all that untold love that you have for her and you told her you loved her everyday. It's love being preserved" Jaemin whispers

And Haechan feels the cold settle in his bones, the rain washed off his face by the steady stream of tears. His throat closes up, his mind fills with fog and he goes dizzy. His heart stops beating

Denial is protection from the pain that follows after. When you finally come to terms with what has happened, finally comprehend the loss in your life; guilt rises up and eats your consciousness away. Your mind goes from delusion to fixation, constantly thinking about that day. What could have been different? How could you have stopped this? Who’s fault was this?

Stage two: pain and guilt

Haechan’s at Jaemin’s place tonight, the doctors advised it’s best not to be alone during difficult times. He doesn’t want to be constantly doted on by his mother, constantly asking if he was okay when she knew he wasn’t - impatient to see him heal. He couldn’t take up your parent’s offer, everything about that house reminds him of you, it was you; where you grew up, where he first kissed you, where he asked you to prom and where he asked you to marry him.

Under the apple tree at the far end of the garden, the swing your dad put up one summer still hanging onto the branches and it was after dinner with your parents. You sat on the swing as Haechan pushed you, he didn’t plan it and you hadn’t spoken about it but he knew in that moment with the moon breaking through your hair, the most beautiful smile on your face as you laughed at something stupid he had said, he knew this was it. You were the one. The question fell from his lips clumsily. “Will you marry me?” he sounded uncertain, as if he was asking himself and your laughter halted, you turned with eyes wide and glossy but when you asked “are you serious?” He didn't need time to think and he didn’t hesitate. “Yes.” he replied in an instant “will you marry me?” this time more confidently and you pressed your lips to him muttering a yes against him.

The memory burns him, the pit in his chest fills with fire and spreads throughout his body with an ache that leaves him paralysed. Jaemin is no better than his mother really, taking days off of work to look after Haechan, cooking his favourite food - constantly doting - but at least he doesn’t ask if Haechan is okay, if he’s feeling better or telling him that time heals all and that things will get better. Haechan doesn’t believe they will and Jaemin knows that.

“The doctors prescribed these for when you have” Jaemin pauses “ an episode” he places the capsule into the draw of the bedside table

“A manic episode” Haechan corrects him but Jaemin brushes it off

“It’s Sunday.” Jaemin says as he pulls the curtains back “You want to go to the florist and deliver ______ her flowers?” He smiles as the sun rays flood the room. Jaemin introduced Haechan to you, all the way back in middle school when Haechan was still a rambling mess when it came to talking to a pretty girl but Jaemin thought you two were made for each other - even back then. It was a Sunday morning and Jaemin had stayed over at Haechan’s convincing him to go out and pick a sunflower out of his mother’s garden, which he later got told off for but it was worth it when he delivered it to your door and you had taken it after placing a kiss on Haechan’s cheek. Every sunday after that Haechan would pick a sunflower to give to you, when you moved in together a vase of them was waiting for you on the kitchen counter. Every sunday.

Haechan only nods in response, no matter if the promise was death do us part, his love for you was alive and it was the only thing he was sure of.

Haechan has visited this florist countless times but this time he can’t seem to step foot inside, to see the people he’d see and speak to about you. The woman at the back who’d cut and arranged every bouquet he’d bought, who’d ask how you were? Her husband who assisted her, who had given Haechan advice for every time you would get into an argument and he’d come here to buy an apology flower, and their daughter at the till, who had given many bunches for free, saying she couldn’t capitalise on love.

“I can’t do it” Haechan turned to Jaemin

“Slow steps” He replied with a smile before stepping in, the small bell announcing his entrance and the daughter at the till suddenly straightened, her head looking towards the customer who had just entered and she greets Jaemin with a familiar smile and it pains Haechan, just how much of his life were you ingrained in? When Jaemin has been invited into the back to pick out the flowers he wants, she spots Haechan and she waves, a small smile painted across her face and he waves back. She picks a small bouquet of white chrysanthemums - symbol of death- and places them around a single sunflower.

And the bell announces her arrival, “I’m sorry for your loss” she says with a soft voice, her arm extended for Haechan to take the flowers. His vision blurs with tears but he focuses it enough for him to take them from her.

“Thank you” he says, choking on the lump that forms in his throat.

“You’re welcome” She mumbles but the sob escapes regardless and she wraps her arms around Haechan and he hugs her back, a small fraction of his pain reflected

“Tell her I said hi” she says before she heads back in, Jaemin waiting for her by the till.

“She refused to let me pay” Jaemin says as he steps out

“Of course she did,” Haechan smiles, wiping his cheeks and waving one last time through the window.

“Let’s go” Jaemin urges, leading the way.

“Hey ______” Jaemin says as he sits in front of your grave, pulling Haechan with him. “I brought Hyuck with me like I promised you last week and he bought you flowers like he promised he would.” he says, placing down his separate bouquet of flowers. “I miss you at work, everyone does but especially me. I miss talking shit about everyone with you, Renjun isn’t as fun. I miss driving you home and I miss seeing you smiling stupidly at my best friend” he laughs “I miss you” he mumbles. Haechan hasn’t seen Jaemin cry for you but he supposes it’s because of him he doesn’t but Jaemin can’t help the tears that drop, which he is quick to wipe away. “I’ll let the idiot speak to you now, I’m sure he has a lot to say” Jaemin stands and walks away to leave Haechan alone with you.

“I suppose I owe you an apology” Haechan says as he places the flowers down “I’m not taking this well but I suppose you know that. You always did say I’d be hopeless without you.” Haechan’s eyes begin to well with tears once more “I just can’t help wondering what if I had picked you up from work instead or what if your boss hadn’t kept you back an hour later.” His voice breaks “I just play that day out in my head and wonder what I could have done to stop it from happening or to at least stop it from happening to you.” he lets out a deep sigh and sniffles “I miss you so much ______. I love you so much. I don’t know how I’m supposed to just live on, when my life was supposed to be spent with you. I can’t. I can’t do this without you.”

Haechan joins Jaemin a while after and a silence fills in as guilt rises in Haechan, towards you and Jaemin. “You know” he starts off as Jaemin begins to walk ahead and he hums in encouragement for Hyuck to carry on, “you don’t need to hide your emotions because of me.” he says quietly, guilty “This must be hard for you too, you were her best friend too … you loved her too” Haechan says looking at the park across the road and there’s a long silence as if Jaemin is contemplating what to say next.

“I’m not hiding my emotions” he finally breaks the silence, “I’m not that considerate of you” he laughs and pauses. “Don’t feel guilty. You’re my best friend too and I love you too. I’m going to be here for you as long as you need” he smiles and it warms Haechan, the slightest glimmer of happiness but it’s almost instantly stopped out by guilt - that he could be happy without you.

“We should get everyone together” Jaemin says, “Just the guys. They’ve been dy-” he clears his throat “begging to see you” he corrects himself. “I didn’t let them because I thought you needed some time to yourself before you were suffocated in hugs” Jaemin let out a small laugh, looking to Haechan to read his expression.

“Thanks, I appreciate it” And Haechan really does, without Jaemin he probably would be sprawled out on his apartment floor, still looking for you. “And yeah, we should have them round”

When enough guilt builds up and you feel guilty for even hurting, for even feeling any pain because you’re alive. Your life wasn’t stolen from you. Because you’ve laughed and you haven’t lived every moment in dread and sorrow. When enough guilt has built up that you wish you were dead and then you feel guilty about that. That’s when the anger settles in.

Stage three: Anger

Haechan thought he was doing well. He thought he was getting better. He thought that maybe, just maybe, he could do this. Yet seeing all these faces, so familiar and so comforting just made it more clear that something was missing. Someone. He looks around the room to see Jisung and Chenle fighting over what movie to watch tonight and he could just imagine you ruffling their hair and telling them we could watch them both. He watches Jaemin cook with Jeno trying to assist and you’d tease him saying that he’s only by Jaemin’s side so he could eat whilst they cook. Renjun and Mark would be setting the table and you’d be helping, dragging Haechan up to go wash glasses to bring to the table. This was Haechan’s family.

But now sitting around the table with the empty seat beside him, where you would have sat. He doesn’t think he can do this anymore. Everyone laughs and talks as if nothing has changed and he’s sure they’re just trying to be normal but they do it so effortlessly. The only thing giving them away is their careful eyes, hovering over him and he hates them. Hates being watched like he’s in a cage in the zoo, just waiting for him to do something. He hates that they’re careful with what they say, not mentioning you but he would hate it if they did because the pain would burn brighter in his chest. He feels guilty that he doesn’t want them to have a good time, he feels guilty that he doesn’t want them to talk about you and celebrate you, he feels guilty that he feels at home when you’re not here and he feels guilty that he wishes he had died instead and it was you who had to live with this pain.

The noise is too much, the laughs are too much and they were all too much. “I can’t do this” Haechan whispers and no one seems to hear or notice. “I just can't,” he says a little louder and only Jaemin turns his head, a little concerned look on his face as if to ask if Haechan is okay and Haechan looks back hopeless and lost. “I can’t do this” He sobs and now all heads turn to him. The laughter stops, the noise falls into silence. The silence is too much.

Haechan grips onto his fork, knuckles turning white and he holds his lip in his teeth to bite back a sob and he draws blood, his teeth sinking in. He’s shaking and tears are already falling and they all look at him, stunned - wide eyed and shocked. As if he was something else. Haechan bangs his fists on the table, again and again as he chants “I can’t do this” and he gets louder and louder until he’s standing on his feet. “I CAN’T DO THIS!” he shouts, shaking.

Jaemin slowly makes his way to him, placing a hand around his shoulder. “It’s okay, slow steps” he whispers and it irks Haechan, sending his skin shivering as it crawls up his neck and into his ears. Slow steps is all he’s been hearing but he can’t even take those. He pushes Jaemin off him, hard enough to have him staggering back a little and then he punches him. Once, then twice and Jaemin doesn’t fight back and it pisses Haechan off more, so he tries to punch him again but someone’s caught his arm, pulling him off and pinning him down. He struggles against the arms pushing him down, kicking his legs and pulling away at the intense grip - he manages to break free. There's shouting and screaming, ringing in his ears and his eyes blur into white as the noise begins to fade. Silence; that is too much.

Haechan waves his arms around trying to find something. Anything. His fingers brush against something smooth, cold and he grabs it, water spilt down his arm. He smashes it against the floor again and again, beating it. The glass cuts through his skin, wedges itself in, water mixing with blood. More restraints pull at him, he punches blindly until one hits. Haechan screams as the noise finally floods back in, as his hands throb and his heart aches. A pill thrown in the back of his throat, water invading his mouth and he’s forced to swallow.

“No!” he pulls free once more, shoving two fingers down the back of his throat, retching to try and get the pill back out but his body goes lax, mind clears and eyes droop down.

There’s a bright white light burning into the back of Haechan’s eyelids, strong enough to wake him from his slumber. He has the urge to rub his eyes open but he can’t seem to move. His body is sore, tired and he can’t fight the restraints holding him down as his wrists are tied to the bed. Haechan’s in a hospital, he knows he is because he knows that smell - overly clean. He spent days in here, holding on to your hand, praying you’d wake up. He spent every night here, sleeping by your side because he couldn’t sleep without you at home.

“You’re awake!” An unfamiliar voice says “He’s awake!” their voice gets further and Haechan tries to move to sit up but his body won’t respond.

“Stop struggling” now that’s a voice Haechan recognises but not one he expected to hear anytime soon. The bed moves up with the click of the button and Haechan now sits up and can finally see Jaemin’s face. Bruised and slightly swollen, he has a few cuts - one by his lip and another by his eyebrow.

“I got you good” Haechan says in an awkward laugh, not knowing where their relationship stands now. Jaemin laughs too, deep and loud and it’s comforting to know that even after all this, Jaemin is still here beside him.

“I let you win, I didn’t fight back.” and Haechan knows that but he still says

“Didn’t or couldn’t” Haechan lifts a brow, smiling.

“Whatever. I look hotter like this, even got a nurse's number” he smiles back and Hyuck snorts as Jaemin waves around the small piece of paper.

An uncomfortable silence fills the room after the conversation dies and Haechan supposes he owes Jaemin an apology but he isn’t sure it’s enough. There’s still that anger that sits at the bottom of his stomach, embers coming to light and will burn his whole body again. Is there any point in asking for forgiveness when you know it’s going to happen again? And just as Haechan was about to open his mouth, Jaemin spoke first.

“Don’t apologise” he says calmly “we both know why it happened and it doesn’t excuse you being an asshole but I am going to be more understanding. I also told you that I’ll be here until you need me, so don’t think I’m going anywhere.” and Haechan smiles at his words, nodding slightly.

There’s a knock at the door interrupting the conversation, the doctor entering. “Hello, Mr. Lee. It’s nice to see you in better conditions.” “How long was I out for?”

“Three days” and Haechan’s eyes widen “Manic episodes tend to last for five day, sometimes more and sometimes less. We thought it was best to keep you under strong sedatives.” The doctor explains “we recommend you see a therapist to help with your grieving, we understand this is a difficult time for you but we hope to see you better and this seems like a good option. Consider it.” The doctor says before he leaves.

“You should” Jaemin says as the doctor walks out the room “just try it” he says when Haechan gives him a sceptical look “also your mum flew into the city” Jaemin warns as he gets up “She’s waiting outside. I didn’t let her in because I didn’t want you to get overwhelmed and we all know how she is but you know she loves me so she took to reasoning” Jaemin says in a smile “I’ll go get her”

And once you’re too tired to be angry anymore, you begin to bargain. Trying to find a way to make life a little more bearable, to subside the guilt and anger, to contain it. You look to cope.

Stage four: Bargaining and depression 

Haechan has moved back home, even after it was clear that Jaemin held no hard feelings; it just felt wrong to burden him with that again. Haechan was scared of himself, scared he’d lash out again and hurt Jaemin and just how many times is Jaemin going to take it. He’s scared of losing him too. Scared that Jaemin would fear him.

Also his mum had come into the city, Jaemin couldn’t house the both of them, though he insisted he’d sleep on the floor. The apartment still smelled like you and in a way it comforted him, you were home. Though Haechan’s mum immediately replaced that with the smell of her cooking and that was home too.

“Donghyuck” she called as he stared down at his phone, swiping through old pictures of the two of you, the therapist that Haechan had been seeing had suggested looking through them whenever he missed you, to live in those memories, a temporary solution to try and contain the manic episodes. Problem is, he missed you every waking second, he missed you in his dreams. “Hyuck!” she called again

“I’m coming!” he groans, feeling as if he was seventeen all over again.

Dinner was great, Haechan hadn't seen his mum in a few months and he felt as if he was in highschool, scolded and adored all at once. His mum was careful not to mention you but she loves reminiscing and you're in every story.

"Okay last story" she giggles and Haechan smiles as they sit with their plates empty in front of them.

"You said that two stories ago" he laughs "and I don't know who you're telling, I lived through them all"

"I know" she hums, moving around a few cold vegetables with her fork "but I love telling them and there isn't a whole lot of people to tell them too. And this one isn't even a proper story!"

"Last one." Haechan smiles

"Okay." She claps her hands "Remember when you were first dating _____" and she says it carefully but her excitement overrides it. Haechan loves watching her speak about you, the way his mother's eyes bright up and her lips just lift into a smile. She did always adore you.

"Of course" he smiles

"She gave you that nickname", Haechan, "and you refused to be called by anything else" she laughs "and back then I thought that it was childish love and you were being a young kid drunk on infatuation but then I met her and when she would say your name," Haechan's heart inflated at the memory, the way you would say haechan or hyuck was as if you gave it a whole new meaning. When you said his name it meant love, adoration and warmth.

"It was the way she spoke to you and the way you gave her all your attention. I knew from that moment that she'd shape who you were." And Haechan’s mum takes a deep breath trying to calm herself . "I must have sent you to go get something but it was just me and ______. All we spoke about was you. It was all she ever wanted to speak about with me" she snickers "she made me so proud of the man you were growing up to be, I just want to remind you that that amazing man was there before you met her." She smiles. "Anyway, it's getting late" she stands and takes both their plates, heading to the kitchen.

"You know mum," Haechan follows her with two glasses in hand "I'm pretty sure ______ fell in love with me because I was amazing" he grins

"You owe it all to me" she giggles

"I was gonna say, dad" and she hits the back of his head causing him to yelp "I'm kidding" he says as he braces for another hit.

"You better be" she scoffs and Haechan laughs, a true laugh and one he doesn't feel so guilty about. He kisses his mum on the cheek "Goodnight" he wishes her before they both separate into their rooms.

Haechan's phone rings as soon as he closes the door behind him, as if on cue. "Hey" Haechan says as he presses the phone against his ear.

"Hey" Jaemin, sounds too enthusiastic for eleven pm "how are you doing?" He asks carefully and this is how it is. Straight after breakfast, Mark will call to check how Haechan is feeling - if he isn't feeling too well then Jisung will call in less than ten minutes for him to hop online and play with him, that would keep him busy until late afternoon. Jeno would then call quickly, followed by Renjun, who's phone calls always seem to last longer than necessary. Then Chenle would either show up with dinner or ask to go out, if he's busy he'll just drop in a few texts. Then finally once the day is done, Jaemin calls to make sure everything is okay. Haechan appreciates it he really does, having such a supportive and caring friend group but he feels like he's on a twenty four hour watch. Everyone waiting for another episode. Everyone, trying to catch the signs to make sure they can stop it.

"I'm good. Played basketball with Chenle and kicked Jisung's ass in overwatch again." And Jaemin laughs

"Go easy on the kid, let him win sometimes"

And Haechan blows air out of his lips and scoffs "As if. It's not a win, if I let him"

"Is this coming from the same person who claims they beat the shit outta me when i wasn't even fighting back" and Haechan goes quiet "I thought so" Jaemin snickers. "Anyways I was just checking in. How's your mum by the way?"

"She's good. Loves being with me obviously"

"Obviously" Haechan can practically hear Jaemin roll his eyes. "You thought about going back to work?"

"Maybe?" He says uncertain "I'm not so sure though"

"Slow steps" Jaemin says in a yawn

"We should head to bed" Haechan whispers remembering the time

"We should. I'll call again tomorrow, night"

"Night" Haechan says before hanging up. Sighing, he falls on the bed and closes his eyes. He sees you.

Figure laying beside him, hair messy and intertwined between his fingers. He pulls at it and you moan, leaning closer towards him and hungrily capturing his lips in a desperate kiss. Your eyes are hooded as you climb on top of him - sheltering his body with your own. Everything fades as you bring your lips back to his once more, warmth engulfing him, every cell in his body shivering with fuzzy pleasure. Your hands roam lower, down his chest and abdomen, he bites his bottom lip holding on to his last bit of sanity. But he’s going over the edge as the euphoria has his eyes rolling back as you wrap your lips and make their way down his body. He’s shivering and begging for more. It’s too much and not enough. Your touch is ice but his body reacts like fire, a fever burning its way down his body. He is stickenly in love with you. His eyes roll back as your mouth makes your way around him. His breathing shallows, his mind scrambles as he holds onto the back of your head. Thrusting up, faster, harder as he meets you in the middle. He watches you worshipping him between his legs, tongue swirling and pulling him to the edge and his mind is reeling to hold on. Just a little bit longer. Only to stay with you for a few more minutes.

So he pulls you up, lips meeting once more with your tongues fighting against each other, teeth clashing. He presses himself into you as if to hope he can find home in your skin, bruising your lips and taking all the air from your lungs. You position yourself on top of him, fast and rapid movements bringing you both to a euphoric trance and Haechan’s eyes are closed. He can hear you, soft moans finding their way out of you. He can feel you, tight and warm wrapped around him. Smell you, the addictive smell of your body he presses his face into the side of your neck as he meets you halfway. “open your eyes” you say softly in his ears and he shakes his head. “Open them Hyuck, look at me” you moan louder.

And when Haechan finally pries his eyes open, the room is empty and the white sticks to his abdomen and palm.

Haechan flinches at the sight coating him, he withers in the after lasting pleasure and shivers with slight disgust at himself but he can’t help that his body yearns for yours. His body itches with desire, aggravated within its own skin and seeking only your soothing touch or your melodic voice.

He needs just a part of you.

He holds the phone to his ear. One ring. He knows it won’t go through but for a moment he’ll let himself pretend. Two rings. That you’ll pick up, all excited and happy; ready to tell him about your day or how much you miss him. Three rings. Even if you don’t pick up he’ll hear your voicemail anyways.

Four rings.

Five.

Six.

Sev-

“Hyuck?”

and Haechan can’t breathe. His lungs have ceased their ability to pull in air, and no matter how hard he tries to inhale they’re already full. Yet his mind spins, his eyes spot with black.

“Hyuck” you call out again “breathe”

But he doesn’t. He can’t.

“Haechan” your voice comes out strangled, broken and scratchy. “We’re running out of time” you warn, impatient. “Answer me!” The voice comes out deep, a ringing in the back and goosebumps make the way to the surface of Haechan’s skin.

“Yes” he gulps past the lump in his throat, getting air in his lungs finally.

“Save me” your voice returns, slow and loving. “You can save me”

“How?” Haechan doesn’t hesitate, “I need you ______” he begs, tears already dropping down his face. “I can’t live on in this suffering” sobs breaking through, he’s hunched over and saliva drips onto his hand as he holds it over his mouth. He shudders and sniffles, face contorted in pain.

“Death is the release of all suffering” you say, voice slightly distorted. “but we were never suffering. You can bring me back.”

Haechan stills.

Reality is shocking. After so long being stuck within your pain, your feelings and in your head, it feels like being splashed with cold water. The reality is, death will always have a presence in life. It is the only thing in life that is promised.

Stage five: 

“I feel great!” Haechan is sitting opposite Mark and Jaemin at a coffee shop downtown. It’s been a while since he went out and he almost missed his favourite time of the year. Spring. The time for new beginnings and life. Haechan was ready. “I’m going back to work soon, I’ve been thinking about it”

“That’s great dude” Mark smiles

“And I think I’m gonna go through ________’s stuff too”

“You sure?” Jaemin asks

“Yeah I think it’s time”

“You can take more time you know hyuck” Mark says

“I know but I feel like I’ve already taken up so much time and it’s time to finally move forward” Haechan sighs and the conversation stills, Jaemin and Mark clearly have something to say but fidget and side eye each other uncomfortably. “I’m gonna head back home” Haechan announces, this conversation coming to a statement, and him not having the energy to hash out problems.

“Sure” Mark says awkwardly “bye”

“I’ll walk with you” Jaemin gets up

The walk is silent. Haechan can feel Jaemin staring at him, eyes heavy on his figure. He doesn’t say anything because everything feels like a test, if he’s going to break or not. Haechan is sick of failing but not too confident in his words. He also doesn’t want to lash out at Jaemin.

“Are you okay?” Jaemin breaks the silence

“Great” Haechan says through closed teeth

“Yeah seems so” Jaemin says but an underlying tone confuses Haechan.

“What does that mean?” It’s comes out more aggressive than Haechan intended

“You seem happy”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

Jaemin takes time to respond, silent until they finally reach Haechan’s apartment complex. “Sorry.” He apologises first “it is a good thing, I’m just being over cautious” he laughs awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.

“Don’t worry about me anymore”

“I’ll always worry. Especially now that your mums gone back home”

“Worry about me less” Haechan pats his shoulder “thanks for everything over these past few months, I’m sorry and I love you” Haechan doesn’t specify what he’s apologising for but Jaemin can take a guess.

“It’s what friends are for” Jaemin shrugs “love you too” he says taking him into a hug and Haechan melts into his embrace, eyes watering up but he blinks them away.

“Bye” Haechan breathes out and Jaemin waves walking away.

The house is empty. The blinds are drawn. There’s a faint lining of ash along the floor and along the windowsill candles burn low. Haechan takes off his shirt and slumps down onto the floor. He breathes in deep before taking the knife and slashing it against his palms. Digging his fingers into the wound, he dips them in blood and drags his finger along the floor to paint a pentagram. He places a candle on each point, and lights them.

Haechan begins slashing more skin, blood dripping and merging with his painting until the neat drawn out lines are slighting blurring together. He walks back towards the kitchen, grabbing at coal by the stove. The black rock is coated in his blood. He places it on the fire. He turns back towards the pentagram.

He sits and waits. His head spinning and throbbing. He sees you emerging from the fire, screaming and crying as you reach out a hand for him to reach and he does. Heat kicking away at his skin, he smells his skin melting away. He hears you calling him, your sweet voice taking his mind off the pain. His stomach lurches, his chest tightens as he comes closer. His legs smear at the blood as he sits within the pentagram, both hands I’ve the fire of two candles, the other knocked over and holding their flames against him.

He begins to wretch and gag, bile rising up and saliva flooding his mouth. He spills the contents of his stomach out onto himself. He heaves and retches again and again, falling to his side, spreading along the floor turning pink as it mixes with the blood. His eyes are heavy, he no longer knows where he is, he sees you smiling. He sees a younger you in middle school, still shy and still only talking to Jaemin. He sees you in highschool, more confident and still radiant as you giggle at whatever stupid thing he said, he sees you ok that swing looking up at him the moon beaming on your face. His mind goes blank, his body goes lax.

Death is the release of all suffering.

a/n: thank you for reading until the end! It been a long long time since I have put something out (I feel like I've come back from the dead) I do hope to write and put out a lot more this year and do have a lot planned but I won’t say much else bc I'm bad at sticking to my word. Sorry this one is disturbingly depressing but happy hyuck soon! Thank you once again for reading my writing <3

© (heartshyuck) 2023. All Rights Reserved.

[woodchipp]

Looks like the OMORI subbreddit found me lmao. I was notified of it by an ask that seems to have disappeared (Tumblr being Tumblr, ig), so I'm including a screenshot of the ask here for posterity

Whether or not Omori's judgements are grounded in reality, they don't mean Sunny should kill himself.

I didn't say that. In fact, I wanted to emphasize how absurd it is that Sunny's irrational and suicidal self-loathing makes this much sense.

The game's failure to provide solid evidence against the arguments Omori makes is a fault of the writing itself, not Sunny.

His arc is about him coming to grip with what he has done, not where he grows to be a good person. Sunny being a good friend or something isn't really important to whether he should live or die.

We don’t really get to see if Sunny really changes beyond getting the words alone out. Because that’s not the point of the game. The entirety of the game’s narrative is about finding the courage to take the first step toward real healing; it is about the act of grasping what is real, to face in the direction of reality and therefore pain, suffering, and loss, but also happiness, growth, and change. But we only get to see the initial act of facing in that direction. And that’s what makes the game so powerful, is that it explores a process that is often so overlooked or seen as just a vehicle to a different, better story. But as the saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. What we see is the first step, and barely that.

Why should I be invested in said arc if the game gives me no reason to root for him? That literally was the point of the post the OP linked.

Sunny feeling bad for the shitty thing he did just isn't worth getting invested into. It's a start, sure, but if he takes a roughly 25 hr game just to muster up the courage to confess to a crime, and he does so only for his own peace of mind, why should I want him to reach his peace of mind in the first place?

Mind you, this is not the same as "I want Sunny to kill himself." What I'm saying is "OMORI wants me to care about Sunny, but doesn't put in the effort to give him any sort of personality, so why should I care about whether he kills himself or not?"

I actually agree with the OG post on the claim that Sunny is an extremely passive character [...] it’s incredibly frustrating to watch, which is kinda the whole point.

"which is kinda the whole point" Never heard that one before.

I understand the point just fine. In this case, my issue is that the point is conveyed very poorly.

Sunny has lost the ability to externally express himself, and doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn't know what to do, but he can run circles around his bestie while the latter's having a breakdown just fine! weeeeeeeee

Or so it would seem. The entire point of Headspace, as far as narrative function goes, is to demonstrate that Sunny in fact is taking very active internal steps to enact real change

Source?

Headspace was literally constructed to prevent any sort of change. it isn't shown significantly changing over the course of the game either.

Whether you believe spirit Mari or the backstage trio of Kel, Aubrey, and Hero were real or just a manifestation of Sunny’s mind,

The Backstage trio definitely isn't real, though.

they nevertheless demonstrate a significant overhaul taking place within Sunny and therefore a significant amount of character development!

Source? Any examples?

What is that even supposed to mean? What, should I consider Omori randomly seeing whatever that black-and-white apparition of Mari is supposed to be at North Lake solid character development?

I've previously explained why Headspace doesn't really matter much and why Backstage makes no sense story-wise, but it seems like I'll have to reiterate.

I'm not going to care about Sunny just because of what he thinks or says (and he doesn't even say much lol). What defines you are your actions. Sure, Sunny can say he'll miss his friends and dream about them all he wants, but if his love for them isn't backed up by what he does over the course of the game, I won't be inclined to believe in it.

Likewise, Backstage doesn't demonstrate character development to me. It's just Sunny shoving words of comfort he wants to hear at the moment into his friends' mouths, which is what Headspace was. The only thing that's different is the sprites.

What's the point of having your character trying to kick an addiction and framing said addiction as a bad thing only to have the character indulge in that addiction once again and frame it as a good thing at the end of the story?

By the way, I love that the comment's rebuttal to my first gripe - that Sunny doesn't do anything in real life that counts as actual character development - is basically "he changes on the inside!", which misses the point that he doesn't do anything substantial in real life. peak

The tragic irony of it all was that a depiction of someone suffering terribly was criticized for not being a “model” depiction of said suffering - as though there’s some kind of standard unit of measurement for that. I think in similar fashion, Sunny takes a lot of heat by players precisely because his situation is so extreme.

I love when people make no attempt to actually engage with what I'm trying to say and instead create an entirely different argument in their head because it'd be easier to argue against.

I'm not criticizing Sunny because his situation is extreme. I just don't like him because the game doesn't give you much of a reason to and because his actions towards the people we're supposed to see as his closest friends throughout the story paint him as very unpleasant at best. That's all there is to it.

Also, I've never seen The Whale. Looking it up on TVTropes, though...

lol. lmao, even. rofl, if you will

Let’s be honest here: even if you struggle with some kind of mental health issue, you probably won’t - hopefully won’t - really be able to understand what Sunny is experiencing. That doesn’t make for a very relatable character!

Yes, because I've never committed manslaughter.

I'm not one to measure how good a character is by whether they're relatable or not. In fact, I despise the notion that a character must be relatable in order to be well-written. However, in this case, I need to ask - if Sunny isn't supposed to be relatable, what is he supposed to be? Again, why should I care about him?

Unlike Charlie, who is apparently nice to people even when they treat him like dirt, Sunny doesn't have any notable character traits besides his mental illness. We're repeatedly told he's nice and supportive, but he's never shown doing anything substantial for his friends other than being "the baby of the group" before Mari's death, nor do we see him trying to be supportive to them after it.

Sunny makes no indication that his friends must accept his apology or that he expects their forgiveness,

but the secret ending shows that he did in fact forgive himself.

And everyone he hurt by letting them believe in Basil's lie are glossed over, but hey, who gives a shit about these people, right?

Aubrey’s reaction and her pushing Basil into the lake is a great example of this; a very similar scenario plays out, only potential tragedy is avoided. Does that still make Aubrey a killer? Is she solely to blame for the push, even if it was fully intentional?

"Is she solely to blame for the push, even if it was fully intentional?" Yes. What kind of question is this?

What about her upbringing

"Her upbringing" can only excuse so much. At some point, a Freudian Excuse stops being an excuse, and Aubrey pushing Basil into the lake was that point. The game doesn't bother delving into her upbringing much either, so, again, why should I care?

and, not nearly mentioned as much, Basil’s own continued choice to keep the truth hidden and allow people like Aubrey to remain in unnecessary pain and suffering?

Aubrey didn't even know the truth when she attacked Basil, though. She just flipped out at him for no reason.

It's easy for the player to grow attached to the main character because they're playing as them. Summing up Sunny's character traits as, in the critique's own words, "#relatable traits," is unbelievably disingenuous. Sunny isn't just "depressed and quiet." He is a traumatised child who is borderline neurotic and suicidal.

Okay. Aside from him being traumatized and being the protagonist, why should I care about him? These are not enough.

Trauma does not constitute one's personality - it informs it. I've said as such in the post the OP linked, and yet everyone seems to omit it in their rebuttals to my arguments. Convenient!

Sunny obviously cares about being forgiven by his friends, that's kind of the reason why he lied in the first place?

Oh yeah, he cares!

In the sense that he was more concerned with losing his friends' love than what they might think and/or feel about the truth, which is why he went along with Basil's lie. He cares only in terms of how it affects him.

It's more so... you know, that Omori was wrong and that Sunny's friends will forgive him and love him regardless? 

...The whole point of the true ending is that there is no definitive answer to whether they forgive him or not.

I'm kind of starting to doubt whether the people lambasting me for not understanding the game actually understand it themselves.

Oh, but of course

It’s not that Sunny didn’t go through a “legitimate character arc”; it’s that he went through an unconventional character arc

that post calls sunny an empty husk of a character yet refuses to analyze him or read into any of his actions beyond complete surface level and instead opts to demonize him at every opportunity. complete media literacy failure in understanding show don't tell. wild.

Anyone who can spend 70% of a game in the depths of a single character's complex, ever-changing psyche and then say that character is a husk concerns me

His development is certainly nuanced, but to say it’s nonexistent you would have to play with a blindfold. 

If I'm being honest, the more OMORI fans insist on the writing being too Unconventional™/Nuanced™/Complex™/Symbolic™ for people to understand and that everyone who has problems with it is lacking media literacy, the less believable and more obnoxiously pretentious they sound.

Also the words of encouragement Sunny receives during the Omori boss fight are all in-line with the characterisation of his friends and the overall narrative of the game, something the author of that critique happily omits.

That... wasn't even the problem I was talking about?

"There's just a problem with this, though - Sunny's friends offered him their support without the knowledge of how Mari actually died. They were convinced that Sunny is struggling with Mari's suicide, not that he's wrestling with well-earned guilt over committing manslaughter. We don't know whether they would've supported him all the same if they knew the truth, and the game doesn't provide an answer either since the group's reactions to Sunny's confession are left ambiguous." "Simply put, Sunny is twisting his friends' words, taking them out of context to make himself feel better. The support Sunny received is built on a lie."

I don't think anyone in that comment thread took the time to actually read my post. Unsurprising.

”Every character in Omori is an empty husk, because I’ve never played the game!”

I've seen this refrain pretty frequently. The funniest thing about this is that I was a fan of the game myself until I scrutinized its writing a tad closer than I used to and consequently realized how dogshit it is.

Well, whatever. I've said what I wanted to say.

[andromeddog]

I love hearing about your OCs AAaAA

I'm curious, if you don't mind sharing, what does James think of Connor getting blown up? I remember on one of your posts you mentioned Connor and another one of your OCs blow each other up, and considering the answer to the previous ask, I really wanna know what your other OCs' opinion on it is (Specifically James though lol)?

If it's spoilers that's cool though, your OCs are just very fun to hear about!

anon you are spoiling me with these questions i have so much lore just sitting around of these guys and nowhere to put it. i’ve said it before but the best format for this story would be like a 300 chapter graphic novel but i don’t have the time/skill/patience for all that. anywho on to ur question

so yeah connor and anselm (guy with all the facial scars i draw sometimes)(he’s got a lot of his own baggage lol) end up blowing each other up. anselm is a stormtrooper and during the german offensive in 1918 he’s part of a group that storms the boy’s section of trench. while the scots are retreating, connor gets shot through the hip and can’t keep walking. james is with him but had previously been shot through the shoulder and can’t help pull him along. connor insists on staying behind so james and the others have the opportunity to escape danger but james is like hello what the fuck i’m not leaving you here??? they keep arguing about it but eventually james listens and does retreat. connor decides if he’s going to die he’s taking someone out with him - anselm eventually shows up and before he can finish him off, connor blows the both of them up with a grenade he’d kept hidden. and that’s how he goes out!

all of that being said his death is uhhhhhh a really big deal to everyone. connor was a really loud guy and his absence is really noticeable in their lives. hes also the only one of them to actually die during the war. they all have their own reactions and ways of dealing with it but james is definitely the one who takes it hardest haha

so ig peter and connor are the best place to start bc they have known each other for pretty much their entire lives- their moms are very close friends and the two of them are effectively cousins. their relationship is pretty antagonistic growing up, as peter is fundamentally unimpressed by connor’s bravado and connor just really doesn’t respect peter’s leadership (he thinks he could probably do a better job). they butt heads a lot a lot over the years. when connor dies peter is rly shaken up, he figured they would always be in each other’s lives, bickering and spending holidays together. peter’s got a big soft heart and is in disbelief for a while, as annoying as connor he’s supposed to be there. he keeps thinking he sees him out of the corner of his eye, keeps looking over his shoulder, and feels vaguely responsible for his death, since he’s the self appointed guardian of the group. though just as grief is starting to settle in, peter gets his knee thoroughly fucked up/his leg amputated and is sent home, so he has very little time to process connor’s death before he’s dealing with a major health crisis (spoiler alert once he’s home he really does not take either of these well)

for johnny the reaction is dull shock. connor was his self appointed Rival, someone who constantly challenged him and who always pushed him to be better, faster, smarter, and it’s only once he’s gone that johnny realizes how important that was. johnny is a really energetic guy and funneled a lot of that into his rivalry with connor, and without that in his life he is restless, itchy, and irritable. he doesn’t feel grief so much as a deep sense of disappointment; in all, connor’s death is just such a waste of potential. johnny honestly handles it the best, though it’s mainly by throwing himself into the situation at hand and helping james and peter, who are both much worse off than himself. once the war is over and he’s back home, he can’t help but notice how much quieter the world is without connor.

and oh poor james. since he’s physically there when connor decides to sacrifice himself, he is definitely left with a lot of grief and guilt and trauma over the whole thing. he regrets leaving the second he does and only follows through with it because it is connor’s last wish, and he feels he does owe him that. james is in shock for a long time afterwards. it feels like someone tore off a limb. it feels like there’s a part of him that is suddenly empty. it’s a wound that never really heals and one that he can never really talk about. how is he supposed to vocalize what connor meant to him? he can hardly admit to himself that there was something else there beyond friendship, it’s too precious and too delicate and it was theirs, and he couldn’t possibly share that with anyone else. james is left as kind of a shell in the aftermath, very quiet and withdrawn, and sticks very close to peter and johnny. there is just a certain weight that exists in him after connor dies, one that never really eases up and one he can never put down. connor was too important to him, and if he lets go of that sadness he feels as though he lets go of connor himself. james ends up living a long life, he eventually does get married and has children, but often still thinks of the war and what he lost

god this is so long and even then it feels abridged lol thank u again for asking heehoo

[maoam]

I would like to get something off my chest and you seem like one of the only mature people out of this fandom that can handle hearing it. I love sns to death, they’re my favorite ship and most likely always will be. But Jesus Christ, this debate with “top” and “bottom” is getting on my nerves. Like why the heck does it even matter??? I just don’t get it at all??? Why do people care about their sex life so much??? It’s so ooc, it’s disgusting. I’d say the people that are SUPER deep into that stuff are no better then the crazed sasuaku fans who only care about the sex as well. Like Christ people, they don’t freak each other in every alley way, every parking-lot, every doorway, every public restroom, or every crack on the sidewalk. I can’t go anywhere without being hit with Sasuke getting his back end tore out, or Naruto getting his back end ripped out like PLEASE give me a break. I would love to see a normal picture of them, on the beach, eating freaking ice cream, playing chess, maybe a light kiss, THATS ALL IM ASKING FOR. I’m so sick and tired of the dumb debates— “Omg, Sasukes such a twink!!!” Or same vice versa. It’s just all mind boggling and annoying.

Like please. Grow up. Sex is not the only thing in this world. It is so ooc and gross to fetishize them. It’s not them, they probably don’t even give a flying crap tard about sex in canon. Maybe once or twice a month, but even that’s a lot for that. Like please, appreciate them for what they are. Go find other characters that can actually match your fantasies. But then again, I’m just overacting, venting, I apologize. It isn’t anything I should get worked up about, it’s not even that serious. I’m sorry you had to see this, but please, share your thoughts.

Top/Bottom fixation exists most of the time because shippers are mostly women and they project heterosexual dynamic into a gay couple. It used to be Seme/Uke, now it's Top/Bottom but it's basically the same thing most of the time.

This wouldn't even be that bad if people didn't change characters personalities based on who they see as Top and who they see as Bottom. Which is why the IG baddie infantilized Naruto in fandom content exists. It's not about him being bottom, it's him being completely ooc. Kishimoto's Naruto is not like that. At all. Actually pretty much the opposite, rough around the edges, punkish, messy, rude, not girly by any chance. Yet people go to ridiculous lengths to "prove" Naruto is actually girly and feminine, even to say he created oiroke no jutsu as a kid because he wanted men (reminder, all the men he used the jutsu towards were his mentors, including his father figures lol) to desire him. They try to insist Naruto and Sasuke are actually two moons and not sun and moon because the idea of Naruto being a sun/yang (which is the masculine side) bothers them. They use some crack filler as proof Naruto would love to wear makeup and be Sasuke's thot girlfriend or whatever. All this mental gymnastics because they don't like how Kishimoto wrote Naruto. And it does happen to a lesser extent with Sasuke too. He's not frail either. Also a lot of shippers just slap the same dynamic and characterizations onto every m/m ship they like. It’s boring and doesn’t do justice to the characters.

I’m also tired of the constant jokes about Naruto’s hole and the constant obsession on the possible size of Sasuke’s dick. These women are straight (or maybe bi) and don’t even get that big dick doesn’t have the same advantage in gay sex as in hetero sex because surprise surprise butthole doesn’t work like a vagina, it is not as flexible. But like I said they operate from the perspective of a het relationship, because that’s what they relate to.

[always-is-always]

Omg, I’m reminded that this was the first BTS video I ever watched!  I had ZERO idea who they were, and knew ZERO about KPop.  Ziltch.  

If you look at Hobi’s shoes, THAT is what brought me to the video.  For real.  It was those xVessels that he had on.  LOL...  What the heck does a pair of shoes have to do with BTS, you might ask? 🤣

In 2019 I was watching a LOT of C-Dramas.  Historical and fantasy, because I loved the costumes, and it was just cool to me.  I had stepped away from almosts all American TV(don’t own one) and movies, because I was tired of the manipulation of the psyche that accompanies said stuff...  there’s a reason why it’s called “programs”.  ((oops, I digress!))

In my exploration of C-Dramas I started looking up the actors as I knew literally nothing about the people or that industry, and I am a curious creature.  I like to learn about cultures that I know nothing about.  

Sooooo....  I look up Vanness Wu, and start following him on IG.  He’s a Chinese-American actor with a shoe company called.... xVessel.  lol...  AND, one day he posted a photo of our beloved Hobi wearing his yellow Lows.  Then, he posted a clip from the same video above, as Hobi was wearing his yellow Lows again.

So I watch the clip and I am totally confused by what I am watching.  I had never seen anything like BTS, like ever.  (I’ve been on the planet a long time.)  I couldn’t understand the hoopla, so I took the next step and headed over to YouTube..... 

Before you know it, I had taken the deep dive head-first.  Down the BTS rabbit hole I went, and I never pulled myself out, and never looked back.  3.5 years (?) later, here we are.  

There is so much that I could share about everything I have learned since that day.  I’ve navigated through judgement, couldn’t understand the whole rapper line/vocal line, why so many guys, and just a general ignorance of the culture and K-Pop industry.  Because I am a self-aware Soul, I know to push back when my monkey mind wants to take something and spin it in a way that isn’t really good.  I know to call myself out and know how to push myself beyond my beliefs to consider looking with clear vision and an open mind.  

So, here I am on a platform that I didn’t know existed, 3.5 years ago, in a community of Peeps who love BTS like I do.  I have my virtual BTS fam, and continue to learn and grow as a Human through this experience, both as an individual and as a part of Community.  

Thank you to whoever shared the clips from the video.  I’ve been reminded just how far I have come, in this Journey as Army.  I’m forever grateful to have had BTS placed in my Life’s Path.  

this fit!!!

[socheckitout-mikey]

Could you do hcs for the gang where their SO going shopping and like trying on all the things they got to show them? (maybe even like underwear if you want)

heya! i decided not to do the underwear thing bc it made me feel a bit weird lol. but i hope you enjoy what i came up with. i added tim and curly too! <3 - mae

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Curtis Gang and Shepard Gang Going Shopping with their S/o Hc's:

Curly:

° Abort mission! It’s just not happening. Curly despises going shopping with a passion - even if it’s for groceries that his mom or Tim asked him to get -. You’ve got to be quite cunning and trick/bribe him into going with you.

° He’d usually suggest that you go with Angela instead, because although his sister can be quite katty, she loves shopping. Though it usually ends up with you and Angela going with Curly; clowning him, but in a playful manner.

° Curly’s often bored shitless the entire time - huffing and puffing impatiently as he waits for it all to be over and done with. He’s not really into this type of bonding experience. He’d rather cause trouble by the tracks or around Tulsa.

° He’s canonly not the brightest, so he thinks he’s being smart when he tells you everything looks good on you, even when it doesn’t. It’s all an elaborate plan in the hope that it will speed up the process. You catch on so quick and decide to take longer sometimes just to tease him lmaoo.

° When he realises it just takes longer, you can hear his cries of frustration when you go back into the changing stall to “try on” the same two pieces.

° You and Angela stifle your laughter.

° He definitely stole something and not only got caught, but put back into juvie bc he’s a dumbass lmaoo.

° “Listen, my brains meltin’ here.” It was the first time you’d heard him whimper about anything, “Can we pick this up and get the hell outta here?”

° If Curly’s bored, he’ll begin touching things he probably shouldn’t. He may even grow a little silly by plucking hats off mannequins to wear and do some impersonations. He’s actually pretty hilarious, though has more of an acquired sense of humour shall we say. It never stops you from laughing though.

Dallas:

° Hates shopping with a passion, especially for clothes because he gets bored out of his damn mind! Shopping, watching you try things on just isn’t his forte - unless it’s lingerie. Dally kind of has a one track mind, and spending a whole afternoon watching you try on things just isn’t his sort of kicks.

° At least he’s honest about what does and doesn’t look good on you; and he’s not always the nicest about it but he means well.

° Don’t even start on all of the different colours and crap, because Dallas Winston can barely even tell between burgundy and bright red: They’re just red to him!

° He does however, amp up the flirting to embarrass you in front of the staff and customers.

° “Eh sweetcheeks! Lookin’ real snazzy in those pants! With an ass like that, we might as well go home!” He genuinely shouts from five feet away from you. He’s such a twat lol.

° Dally always gets kicked out and laughs when you get mad at him for it. He’s always eyeing things up in a way where it’s an opportunity to steal something. Like fight him or stay mad ig lol..

° Lmaoo he’s genuinely taking credit for picking out your outfits when you do wear them on dates, out and about, etc.

° “Man do I have good taste.” He’d grin, making you do a playful twirl for him. He's always taking credit for these types of things smh.

° “You wish you had this good of a style.” The offence on his face is ridiculously humorous.

Darry:

° Darry just never has time for these things and hates it, but shopping has to be done. It’s on his rare days off where he’s got things to buy for Ponyboy because he keeps growing like a bean sprout and is looking like a whole ass elf in hobbit clothing!

° He definitely invited you along because you had things you needed to get too. He would kill two birds with one stone as he’d get to spend time with you as well.

° Despite being a gentleman, Darry gets easily agitated due to the fact that he desires efficiency. Going in and out as quickly as possible is key for him, and when you’re stuck on two shirts, he can’t help but get a bit annoyed at things taking longer than expected. But he reserves a patience for you that he doesn’t have for other people.

° He’s blunt, taking control slightly and telling you which one suits you best. If you didn’t know Darry, it would be quite jarring but he’s giving you his honest opinion, which is much appreciated.

° You tend to help him unwind when you guys go clothes shopping by fooling around with him. You’ll grab a scarf, looping it over his neck before pulling him close. It never fails to make him laugh and flirt a little, wearing away at his irritation.

° “Well hey there, sailor!” You giggle up against his lips.

° “What the hell are you doin’?” He’d laugh, pressing a kiss to your lips.

° Refuses to let you hold any of your bags. He won’t hear of it and gets offended when you try to take them away from him.

° You call him Mr. Grouchy and for some strange reason he smirks in the truck on the way home from your teasing. Squeezes your thigh a little bit.

Johnny:

° He never complains when you guys go shopping, though might look over his shoulder just in case the gang sees him. In fact, he really enjoys going to the different stores with you, even though he’s never really paid much attention when it comes to different colours, patterns, etc. until you came along.

° Johnny is extremely patient with the process and relatively polite to the staff. The staff like him because he’s sweet and supportive of you, with a little hint of mischief - even when he’s bored out of his mind.

° Johnny thinks most things look good on you, but isn’t sure what to say outside of, “Looks good I guess.” I guess it is meant for you to make your own choices because he’s not the type of boyfriend to dictate how you dress at all. He doesn’t get his panties in a twist over it.

° But he did roast you a little for the peacock feather hate you tried on at a thrift store because you did look absolutely ridiculous. But it was a great laugh!

° “Well golly! You look like some Socy’s old granny from 1865!”

° It took him awhile, but he saved up the money the gang had given him for his birthday and christmas to buy you this snazzy shirt you’d been eyeing for a couple months. Johnny felt really proud of himself for that one.

° When the store is more quiet and it’s more or less just you too, Johnny’s playful side will come out.

° “Look at me! I look like one of them Mafia Men.” He snorted, putting a hat onto his head that was much too big for him.

° He always has a smile on his face because it’s extra time spent with you. It’s a way he can just be himself and not feel so paranoid all the time after the Red Corvair incident.

Ponyboy:

° Ponyboy is another member of the patient club - even if he pretends not to be. He tends to get lost in a day-dream because something about the outfit you picked reminded him of a celebrity in a movie.

° He’s definitely more loud when with you because he feels comfortable. He just hopes he doesn’t run into his brothers or the gang as they’d never let him hear the end of how he went shopping with you.

° You guys are extremely cute together, because Ponyboy will become curious about the items around him. His funner side comes out and he dresses up a little for fun.

° Sometimes the things he tries on are much too big for him, especially if you’re in a thrift store. You guys just laugh, checking each other out in the mirrors.

° Ponyboy does a lot of good impressions of male celebrities. He’s much funnier than he thinks he is, though he fails to cock his eyebrow successfully like Two-bit can.

° He once plonked a huge cowboy hat onto his head and it went down past his eyebrows. He genuinely couldn’t see. Pony thought you were both alone in the viewing area, but you weren’t.

° “HoWdy PaRDnER!” came out in a thick, deep draw from his mouth and it was awfully loud. He became immensely embarrassed when a member of staff came through with an old lady towards the women's changing rooms. The three of you laughed at him.

° He made y’all leave after that one.

° Is one of the only ones that doesn’t really steal anything from a store for you. He’d rather buy it and present it to you with that signature blush on his cheeks. It partly has to do with morals, but also the fact that Darry would whoop his butt if he ever got caught stealing.

° Is a gentleman and will hold your bags for you. He likes to feel like he can be depended on somehow.

Sodapop:

° Saddle up buckos because shopping with Sodapop is a wild ride! Initially he may pretend like he hates shopping with you, but he’s only teasing you and it’s just for Steve’s sake, because Steve will not hesitate to roast him. Soda really loves shopping!

° He won’t hesitate to make things as fun as possible by making a fool out of himself as he dresses up in fancier clothes with you. You'd be loud about it, giggling into each other's shoulders.

° You guys are definitely that young couple that makes older couples look at you, smile and reminisce about their younger days. It’s quite wholesome.

° He once spent his weekly wages on you to get you something very special. Darry got so mad at him, Sodapop actually got grounded for a month. It was worth it according to Soda though.

° Boii is so attractive that the clerks knock down the prices because he flirted with them a little. You aren’t even mad because you got a whole ass outfit for half the price!

° “Listen, I know I went a bit heavy in there but honest I didn’t mean any of what I sai-”

° “Man I just got new dancing shoes for half the price! What are you talkin’ about?”

° Flirting is definite when it comes to Soda, because he’s just a flirty guy. He lets you know what looks good on you and what doesn’t. He’s respectful about it, but you have learnt to pick up that little sparkle in his eyes whenever he sees something on you that he likes.

° Soda loves it when you get him something too, because it makes him feel appreciated.

° Be prepared for him to get distracted looking out of the windows when a beautiful looking car drives past.

Steve:

° Man genuinely acts like having to go shopping with you is like the end of the world encroaching him. He’s just dramatic and a smartass, but be prepared for him to treat you with things though.

° He complains so much that you call him an old man with the clerk to clown him. He’s just a smartass back to you because, “Who do you think is gonna pay for that, sugar?”

° You know he’s only teasing because he’s smiling at you when he says it.

° Heart eyes when you come out in something that really suits you! He adds it to the basket so fast!

° Steve enjoys it when you get all goofy with him by demanding he try things on. He usually brushes you off, but other times he will give in and allow himself to get a little goofy. Just if the gang sees him, he’s like Quick Silver - yanking things off like they’ve seen nothing.

° He enjoys spoiling you whenever he can afford it, which isn’t often tbh. Steve feels pride in himself when his s/o can depend on him for anything, but especially material things.

° Steve - much like Dally - will not complain if you go lingerie shopping. That’s the one and only time that he’s running to a shop.

° Much like Dally as well, he’ll take credit for what you’re wearing like he was the one to have picked it out, but he only does it to get a reaction out of you because he’s a big smart ass that likes to get under your skin.

° Probably jokes with the clerk that he can keep you snfsdfjdsfd

Tim:

° It’s mandatory by now that he makes Angela go with you, just pretends to be dragged into it like he has to be your chauffeur. It makes you both roll your eyes at him because he agreed to go! No one forced him like he’s told all of his friends.

° He tends to wait outside for most of it, opting to be “responsible” and smoke outside the whole time.

° “Since when are you responsible?” You certainly did judge him lol.

° Lmaoo I’m not kidding you, Tim deadass fell asleep on the chair waiting for y’all one night. You had to playfully kick him in the shin to wake him up and he wasn’t happy to have been woken up. He’s a bit of a poor sport.

° Angela almost hurled on these pink shorts one time when Tim said your ass looked great in those shorts you tried on and playfully spanked you. She left y’all because she’s a savage and doesn’t have time to be traumatised.

° He always perks up when you leave the mall and go out for burgers at The Dingo afterwards. It’s like he’s a whole different Tim Shepard. You blow your straw wrapper at him and he’ll just catch it between his teeth before winking at you.

° “You think I give a shit about this? It’s pink! Just pick a shirt already.”

° For some reason, Tim likes to have a poke about the bags full of things you got like he actually gave a crap about it. He’s just being a nuisance to annoy you at this point.

° He refuses to get goofy with you and try things on in all honesty. Anything that tarnishes his reputation, especially if there’s a chance that Dallas could see him, will not interest him in the slightest.

° When Tim Shepard buys you something, know that it’s official. He doesn’t go buying things for just anyone!

Two-bit:

° Has stolen so much stuff for you it’s unreal at this point. You wouldn’t think it, but Two-bit’s incredibly crafty about it too and you honestly wonder how it was possible to have stripped a mannequin of a dress without anyone seeing!

° “Well baby, a magician never reveals his secrets!” He’d state confidently with that infamous toothy grin of his.

° Two-bit’s all for fun man! He’s definitely the one to get dressed up absurdly with you. He’s touching everything (even a dress) for a laugh and the staff can’t help but laugh either. Two brightens everyone’s dull days!

° He has such a blast going shopping with you. He doesn’t care if anyone he knows sees him because he’s inclined to make a fool out of himself anyways!

° Time always seems to pass y’all by quickly. Before you know it, you’ve gne to five stores and counting!

° Sometimes Two’s a little too drunk and loud, which gets you both kicked out of stores. He laughs it off but it can be embarrassing. He tries to avoid you when he’s too drunk for that reason.

° An honorable member of the Flirt Club™ so be prepared to be showered in an abundance of compliments! He likes to see a smile on your face and enjoys it when you’re feeling confident in yourself.

° “Hey baby! You think these jeans make my ass look like a million bucks?!”

° Genuinely just enjoys himself and makes sure that you’re feeling comfortable too. Two-bit is definitely a people person and will be talking to everyone.

° “Don’t you think they look great?” He asked a random stranger once when you were feeling a little unconfident in yourself.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: closed!

[pinkandblueblurbs]

omg hi baby! i just saw that you write for wanda maximoff?!? i love her so so much, i never knew you wrote for her!! i am literally drawing a blank rn on request ideas for her but maybe something simple like a fluffy relaxing evening after a hard day being avengers? idk i would literally read anything you wrote for her so anything would be fine (smut, fluff, angst etc) i really don’t mind haha😅

(sorry for posting it on the wrong account gill, i’m so dumb🥺)

Wanda Maximoff x Gn!Reader. Lovey dovey fluff, domesticity, cuddling, kissing, some teasing, some reassurance, Clint Barton cameo. Wanda still has her accent here 😠😠. Set before civil war ig but like. not super cannon compliant lol. Pietro lives. That’s not even mentioned but he just does.

also this is hella cringey and probably unrealistically lovey dovey but whatever

word count: 475

“Would you move? You are elbowing me in the boob” Wanda grumbles with playful annoyance, grinning at you when you shift in your position against her chest. You look up at her, admiring her features, and she must catch the dreamy look in your eye as her grin gentles to a sweet smile.

“What are you doing?”

“Just lookin’ at you.” You respond, smiling yourself. Her slender fingers reach out to stroke over your hair. Fingers capable of such damage, containing such power, caress you with such a soft tenderness that the juxtaposition seems almost impossible.

“You are staring. It’s weird.” She teases, though she’s still smiling, and she’s moving closer to you. Her mouth connects to yours with that same tenderness, soft and caring and sending a wave of warmth over you. Her lips feel like home, and after the day you’ve had you’re thrilled to be returning to them. When she pulls away your first instinct is to chase her, to steal back the comfort of the kiss, but the sound of her voice is quick to soothe you.

“You trust me completely.” She says, and though it is a statement her tone carries a lilt of confusion. “You have seen what I can do yet you do not shy away.”

“What you can do is not who you are.” You murmur, still close enough that your breath fans over her lips, so close you can make out the streaks of green in her cerulean eyes. “And it’s who you are that I love.”

All confusion leaves her expression, making way for love and softness as she gazes up at you.

“I rarely consider myself lucky, Y/n. But I can say with honesty that I am lucky to have you.” Her words make your heart flutter, the love you feel tightening your chest so much that it almost feels like anguish. And the way she says your name- the sweetness of her tone and the distinctiveness of her accent- you’re sure you could listen to that forever.

“Luck has nothing to do with it, Wanda. You have me because you deserve someone who loves you.” You reply, and before she can open her mouth to speak- likely to try to argue, you suspect- you lean forward for another kiss.

This one grows deeper, fueled by the passion of your confessions and intensity of your feelings, and as you feel her soft tongue and taste her sweet scent you’re overcome by delectation. Her hand moves to cup your jaw, its presence gentle and steady, her thumb drawing soft circles on your skin. Your hand moves likewise, trailing up past her ear and tangling in her hair.

You’re so immersed in one another that neither of you hear Clint’s impending footsteps until his voice pipes up.

“You kids better use protection.”

taglist: @snapesdaughsjm @kyleed24 @woman-with-no-name @randomoutsiders @fandom-puff @spxllcxstxr @frecklesandfirecrackers @wholebigboxofyikes @fific7 @sunrisefairy @pandaxnienke @weasleyposts @mypainistemporary @amourtentiaa @st0nesnglitter @quindolyn @arcaneslut @hoes4dameron @wh0reforthemarauders @shadesofvelma @i-love-scott-mccall @maybanksslut @crystal-dee @sprucewoodlover @slvt4fakerealities @hellounicorn @daisyyy2516 @abbott27 @saintlike78 @pretty-pop-princess-hs @multixfandomwriter @barneswidow @mjoubertt-1 @remusjlupinisdead

[calehenituseappreciation]

Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

[blainehasregrets]

Just know if I didn’t respond to something specifically it’s because I read it like this: 🙂‍↕️ even if I don’t totally agree (like the engagement but we kinda talked about that), I get what you mean and where you’re coming from.

I agree that Santana’s rant had no basis and in a weird sort of way, I’m glad? Because if she had been accurately picking him apart (the way I think Brittany did a scene later) and I saw people going YASSS SANTANA END THAT TWINK I’d be mad but since her rant literally stems from something that’s quite literally not even true, when I see people say she ended him I can simply go

HAHA (but that also doesn’t take away it was kinda of a generally fucked up speech in general (esp bc of the real world reasons it was even added) and, imo, it sadly left the kurtana friendship on a pretty sour note even though it’s heavily implied they made up at the end of the episode)

And YES I agree so strongly about how they both feel about their own feelings especially this:

I feel the difference between how they treat their own feelings is that for Kurt, he views them inconvenient and something private. He does not want to open up because then he may have to let go of total control over the situation but he is also not devoid of emotion enough to be able to bottle it up forever, so he just lets resentment build

And re: Kurt feeling like a man is a veryyy interesting topic to me. To me, I always felt as if, unlike the other men in his life like people like Finn, Puck, or even Blaine and Karofsky, they never had to question growing up if they are a man, they simply Are in the most cis default way possible (which is why they had to have that what is a man lesson a hundred times as teens), but as Kurt is someone who was way more free with his expression, who’s had to face harassment for the way he presents himself or for things that are outside of his control, he’s someone who’s had to think about it more.

Like;

Someone like Finn: is born -> I am a man

Kurt is born -> 〰️➰➿〰️➰-> I am a man

^ imagine those are like loopy arrows that go all over the place but do eventually point to “I am a man”

So like imo, he IS a cis man and that’s actually quite a big part of his character and he says several times he is a man, he’s quite secure in this fact, but he had a much more complicated thought process to get to that conclusion, compared to most other guys who probably never had to think twice about it. You might find this analysis of Kurt’s hat in Grilled Cheesus interesting.

And I think you’re right, he’s not insecure in a way that would make him think he’s Finally a man or whatever after Bash, and I do tend to think it’s lame he serenaded the guys lol it felt a bit unearned ig

I also love the Kurt as an honorary girl thing and I sorta can’t stand when people say it’s him being a gay stereotype because…Kurt is friends with the girls because they’re nice to him the way the boys aren’t! Of COURSE he’d feel more comfortable around them! And I also even think it’s kind of exaggerated HOW often Kurt was even allowed to be with the girls! 😭 like there are soo many times the boys do something together, the girls do something together, and Kurt’s. No where to be found. (Yes/No comes to mind) and Chris had to tell the writers Kurt would rather be with the girls during Summer Nights because they were originally going to have him with the boys (and that’s why it’s doubly annoying when people say that that was an example of the show trying to Make Kurt a girl or equate him to one because it was literally a decision that came from Chris, who obviously understands Kurt)

Blaine’s Transfer To McKinley

One of the more disliked? plot points in Glee is Blaine’s transfer to McKinley. However, it’s always been silly to me that people think this plot made “no sense”, especially from Blaine fans who think Blaine transferring to McKinley meant Blaine was constantly having to relive the trauma from his previous experience in public school and Kurt was inconsiderate for making him transfer.

Don’t get me wrong: He definitely transferred to be with Kurt, and I have no doubt in my mind Kurt was being annoying as hell about it all summer given the scene of him being (playfully) passive aggressive over Blaine still going to Dalton (which makes his whole “pls don’t tell me you transferred for me because what if u resent me 🥺” even funnier lmao oh Kurt). And I also think him transferring in the middle of the episode aka nearly a week into the school year was supposed to show that Kurt was pressuring him. But I also do kind of chalk that up to the fact that The Purple Piano Project was incredibly badly written and they chose the worst possible ways to deliver information, like setting up Juilliard for Hummelberry just to explain to us NYADA a scene later like…! IMO, they could have kept that scene of Klaine in the Lima Bean, like I’m not saying they should take Kurt’s involvement in the decision completely away, but it should have been one of the very first scenes so Blaine could have been there from day 1. But omg all of this is besides the point let me move on…

However! To act as if it was not ultimately Blaine’s decision, and one he’s wanted to make for a while, is missing a huge part of his character. Not only that, I don’t understand how so many people miss this when it’s quite literally one of the very first things Blaine ever says in the show.

In Never Been Kissed, Blaine tells Kurt “I ran, Kurt. I didn’t stand up. I let bullies chase me away and it’s something I really, really regret.”

It’s literally the main thing we are introduced to his character with. Blaine is someone who wants to face his fears, in this case public school, he just hasn’t had an opportunity to do so.

The entire Dalton arc is symbolized by Pavarotti’s cage which comes up several times during season 2, and in Special Education the show frames Dalton as a place that doesn’t foster individuality (even though I think that plot point was uhh badly written because it was as if the writers seemed to forget why Kurt left McKinley in the first place…all of Kurt’s complaints about Dalton applied to McKinley too, but were supposed to forget about it because over on the McKinley side, Mr. Schue chose Fabrevans and Santana for the competition for once. but also all of this is besides the point too!), and the reason why Blaine falls in love with Kurt in the first place is because of Kurt’s independence and need for freedom despite the difficulties he faced, symbolized by him sing Black Bird. Despite the fact that I don’t particularly agree with this sentiment that a safe place like Dalton is “running away”, I think most people know going from a rich private school with no bullying to a shitty public school with tons of it is a massive downgrade, the show makes it abundantly clear that Dalton is not a place where Kurt or Blaine are meant to stay.

So, even logistics aside (because obviously as he was upgraded to a main character, he had to be with the rest of the characters more often which means he had to go to the same school, it’s really not much deeper than that), the show already set up that Blaine wanted to be free from a place like Dalton. Even in Original Song, we get the hint that Blaine is tired of his easy life in the Warblers where he gets all the solos and in Silly Love Songs he compares them to privileged, porcelain birds. To make it seem as if Blaine being at McKinley was traumatic for him or he had 0 choice in the matter and was doing it solely for Kurt is, imo, disingenuous and misses part of his character that gives him his own agency.

And yes I’m saying all of this acknowledging Blaine’s whole “I changed SCHOOLS FOR YOU 😫” thing, because I think it all can be true at once:

Blaine transferred to be with Kurt.

Blaine transferred because it’s something he’s wanted to do.

Blaine had no problem holding it over Kurt’s head when he wanted to.

I feel like none of that is contradictory to each other (or, even if it is hypocritical, it’s hypocritical in a way real people are). People are messy! They can have multiple reasons for doing what they do, and sometimes even when it’s their decision to make, they can still blame another other person for them. (And I say this with love but I mean…Blaine isn’t a stranger to blaming Kurt for something he chose to do, right? Moving out…cheating…Perfectly in character if you ask me!)

I feel like this decision doesn’t require that much suspension of disbelief either, Jesse transfers in season 1 for a couple episodes just to mess with Rachel. Yes it’s not realistic, but many aspects of glee are not and this is one of the ones I think was set up before the decision was even made.

And to be honest, I always thought the whole “Blaine should have stayed at Dalton” to be a pretty boring opinion, but when I was rewatching Purple Piano Project recently, Blaine said Kurt was just scared the Warblers were going to beat the New Directions, I couldn’t help but think that would have been soo interesting to see. The mess and drama that would come out of Klaine having to see each other as rivals…especially when you throw Sebastian into the mix…Blaine, who already couldn’t cope with the distance, having to see his boyfriend as the enemy? I would love to visit an alternate universe where that’s the route glee decided to go with.

But I’m sorry I love “I changed SCHOOLS FOR YOU 😫” and, regardless of all the reasons I’ve listed above, the general craziness it spells for Blaine that he’d transfer to a shitty public school to spend one year with his lazy fucking boyfriend (said affectionately) too much to wish it was changed. I love you canon Klaine!

[aengelren]

1,5,6,7,8,11,12,13,15,16,17,20,22,25,26,27,28,30,31,34,35,36,37,50

Smash or pass mike or nicoolo

♡ Thank you for this ask (im late as ever)

Note: I will make a more detailed post about my thoughts on 139 and the ending and esp Eren. But I lightly touched on it below

Smash niccolo

What was your first impression of the show?

I was shocked, did not expect such a perfect first episode. unlike many i know, i got attached immediately. Like i imagines the pain of seeing my mom be in a such a situation and how i would feel so helpless. unlike Eren, i wouldn't be able to go on

Who was your favorite character originally? Did it change?

it was Eren, it's still Eren. I used to be much more attached to Mikasa than what i am now though

Who was your least favorite character initially? Did it change?

Annie, Zeke and Bertholdt. Changed my mind on Zeke heavily and now i love Bert. Still don’t like Annie. Don’t like pieck either

Favorite season?

Can’t choose, love them all but s1 always has a special place in my heart. S3 part 2 was seriously the best experience I’ve had with fiction along with declaration of war in s4 part 1 PLUS!! S4 part 2 Eren plottwist and the “two brothers” episode

Favorite episode?

Can’t choose i have too many

In your opinion, who had the greatest glow up?

Him but he’s always been beautiful. But Eren has always been pretty. Can’t say the same about Armin and Jean so them too ig

Worst glow up?

No one (maybe someone but I won’t say it hehe, it’s a guy)

One thing you’d change about the story?

Story is actually perfect and I’ll never consume anything close to it. I’d want to see more Eren pov & more of the Jaeger household when they took Mikasa in. Like when she told Eren about the scar etc

Controversial opinion?

Eren rawdogs every Aot character in terms of everything (shouldn’t be controversial but Aot fans are<)

Would you go to the AOT world? What would your role be?

I would say yes but then immediately regret it lol. My role would probably serve as fodder or clinging onto someones hip

What twist genuinely surprised you?

Eren’s “death” in episode 5 of the show, Bertholdt and Reiner’s reveal+Eren orchestrating his whole life

What was the hardest death for you?

Okay so for anime only, it’s Carla, Sasha and Erwin. The saddest one is a manga spoiler

Original uniform or timeskip uniform?

Original cuz green is my favorite color but the new one is sexy

What character grew on you?

Zeke, Ymir, Historia, Magath🙄 and Gabi(?) in some episodes. Reiner and Bertholdt too and i remember Levi growing on me after Erwin’s death

Who would be your best friend irl?

Eren and Armin and Ymir probably:)

Who would you hate irl?

Christa perhaps?

What’s your favorite of the 9 titans? Would you be willing to be a titan shifter?

My favorite is the Attack by far, just how it embodies freedom and keeps moving forward. Basically Eren in a titan. I would be if i lived in their world

Who would be the worst person to be paired with on a group project?

Ymir(freckles) and Gabi

Favorite trio?

No one compares

You're at a bar, list five characters you’d trust to hold your drink. Who’d you trust the least?

I’d trust Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Hange and Jean

I wouldn’t trust Pieck

Is there a character you really see yourself in? Why?

In Eren i see what i want to be. Mentality wise. I kind of have the same mindset, wanting to know more about the world and purse beyond our knowledge. Difference is: he does it, he tried. And I don’t. I also think i used to relate to Mikasa? Like just for loving to unconditionally

Did you read the manga? Do you have a favorite panel / scene?

Yeah, I’ll make a separate post abt it

Character(s) you’d love to share a beer or two with?

Grisha, Erwin, Zeke, Keith, Sasha’s dad

Be honest, what did you think of the ending?

SPOILERS⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Thematically perfect, like actual perfection. Only “problem” was execution in some scenes and it was a bit rushed. They’ll fix that in the anime so it’s all good🙏

My thoughts on ch 139 Eren: now to Eren. We can see in ch 121, Eren says “I’ve always been me, since birth”. In chapter 73 we hear him talk about freedom in a possessive way. In chapter 1 (before his mom got eaten and he got the Attack titan) we can see him obsess over not wanting to live like cattle. The thing with Eren is, he’s always on pursuit for freedom. Yet he’s never satisfied, because it’s never what he imagined. That is because he has a negative view on freedom. So what does this lead to? An obsessive pursuit. When Armin asked Eren why he did it in chapter 139, Eren said “I don’t know”. Now this, is the most miss interpreted line in Aot. The line wasn’t meant to be taken literally. He says “idk” because be doesn’t know, he doesn’t know why he was born with such a need to move forward and find freedom. He doesn’t understand his obsession with it. Read ch 121 and 73 and you’ll notice it. Even if he “doesn’t understand it” it’s still clear as day for him what he wants. That’s what adds a layer to it & makes his choice of path intentionally convoluted for us viewers to understand. The manga never highlighted Eren’s actions as heroic, and Armin didn’t speak on behalf of the world. Eren was declared a devil in the eyes of the world before he ever did anything. Then he proved them to be right. But in the eyes of his friends? He was still Eren. They ALWAYS talked about how wrong it was (except Jean) and Armin didn’t exactly thank him for it. It was more of a brother to brother farewell. Eren and Armin’s relationship was severed at the ocean. They didn’t share the same view on freedom. While Armin sees beauty, Eren sees a threat to freedom. When Armin asked why, he was trying to understand. “Why Eren?” “Why did u want it? Why have u always wanted it?” And it’s simply Eren’s nature to be destructive. Aot is a lot about nature vs nurture and the origin or life. What do i have to support that Eren’s nature is destructive? Well, he carved out his own tragic path in life by sheer will. He was raised with love but ended up thinking differently than Zeke who was raised to think the way Eren does but instead has the mindset that Eren should’ve had. If he were to be normal. Which is where the nature vs nurture argument plays in perfectly. Furthermore, Eren acknowledged his unhinged nature. One that he’s always battled with. He understood that if he weren’t to be stopped, he’d never free Ymir. He’d join his like a slave to his will forever in void. Which is why he trusted the task to Mikasa, stopping it before it was too late. To summarize it, 139 was perfect for Eren’s character and nature. I can’t imagine anything else being fitting? The Aoe stories just make him the average shounen mc who wants revenge. Eren grew past that in ch 91 and later in chapter 123 AND chapter 131. The only thing i want is more Eren pov. I want to know more about what went on though his mind so people (obviously many) who don’t understand his nature, might actually do.

you know, people love to complain about the ending and “wanting more” yet they fail to realize what we even got, lol. People still don’t get why Eren did the rumbling. They still don’t get that he’s always been this way, or how insane he actually turned. Nor to they understand the point of: as long as humans exist=conflict exists. Another thing, the titan curse did NOT come back😭like I’m sad that stupid people consume Aot. Shocker: Ymir did NOT love Fritz. She thinks she did. So it’s not Stockholm syndrome either. People love to analyse hidden messages but apparently when it comes to the ending, the thinking skills just suddenly disappear.

Let me make something very clear, if your reason for hating the ending is because Eren didn’t put his dick in a woman. Log out for me. there’s a reason erehisu fans were a minority. And it’s not because Isayama “portrayed them as—🤓” “drew a sketch of Eren and Historia🥺” “said in a interview🥱” no. By that logic, i can make up the same arguments saying Eren was in love with Reiner. majority ship Eremika or Eremin. I’m gonna be honest, I don’t understand where eh came from since the timelines never even matched? And Eren has always leaned against Mikasa so? But ig that’s why the shippers are a minority. Now, I’m not against any legal ship, (or if you do ship them) but if you’re mad Eren didn’t cream pie then your comprehension skills and miss-directed expectation of the series is beyond embarrassing. There’s a reason every EM knew how the story would end even before the last chapters and we were right🤷‍♀️

“Imagine being so unable to admit that your interpretation may have been wrong and/or so unwilling to change your mind that even when the author himself tells you "that was a bad take" you'd literally rather come up with an insane conspiracy theory without evidence to justify that you were actually right the whole time and no, it was the source material itself that was wrong!”

Isayama was 19 when he started, I’m 20 and i can’t imagine. The story us perfect and I’m sad people who use the term “chad” even get to have an opinion on it. At the end of the day, if they want “chad”. Eren did kill his mom and dad. Basically his whole family. He did face death without a blink of the eye. But he had a heart to heart with his best friend after they ignored his state for the past 4 years, he relived every horrific memory ever and omg 😱 “Eren is ruined” no. I love him more to feel broken about him finally letting himself be vulnerable. After all, Isayama did say

“for the last chapter, Eren came back”

Beautiful

[kiyoomeii]

strawberry shortcake / f!reader x l lawliet / wc: 1.5k

lake scene, knee deep in the stars / this simple season is all ours, yeah / “simple season” by hippo campus

a/n: for the past four days i’ve only been thinking about soft!l lawliet and how much i want to lay in his lap someone pls pay my bail from simp jail  also! ayy first one shot ig??

cw: the use of the word ‘shit’ three times, kissing, very self indulgent, no editing just grammarly lol

Today will be one of the few times you two have gone out together since L is meticulous about keeping his identity private, and you’re grateful for the change of scenery. Instead of being cooped up in his hotel of the week, you’re out wandering a botanical garden in Tokyo. Of course, Watari made all the arrangements for the park to be conveniently closed to the public that day, but still, it’s the thought that counts.

In your left hand is a wicker basket filled with food, and your right pinky looped around L’s left pinky. As you walk through the garden, the fresh smell of flowers fills your noses and the sunshine filters through the cumulus clouds, causing droplets of sweat to collect on your back.

With anyone else, such extended periods of silence would be uncomfortable, but with L, it feels like home.

You feel a tug of resistance on your pinky and turn back to see L engrossed in a flowering tree. “What’s that?” You join him in inspecting the tree, clutching his dangling arm tight to yours and resting your head on his hunched shoulders.

“It’s a Magnolia Stellata, or Star Magnolia. I’m surprised they’re still in bloom right now.” L makes no effort to explain himself, instead opting to put a finger to his lip.

“Because…?” With your head still on his shoulder, you look up at him expectantly. He often makes statements like that without explaining himself since he assumes that everyone else knows what he’s talking about. It used to bother you when you first met, but you’ve learned that it’s just because his mind is moving a hundred miles a minute. Now, you just ask him to elaborate, and it surprisingly doesn’t bother him. When other people ask him questions that he thinks are blatantly obvious, he grows annoyed but masks it in his voice by scrunching the toes of his left foot. But with you, he never does that. Instead, he’s patient and kind. You can see it in his eyes.

“Because they are particularly susceptible to frost damage and we had a handful of very cold days this March,” he answers coolly. Where he stores this knowledge about flowers native to Tokyo despite him being from England, you will never know, but you’re thankful for the information regardless.

“Oh, I see. Thank you," you sigh. Together, you stand marveling at the light pink flowers and feeling the breeze on your backs, which causes L’s hair to sweep over your face. He quickly brushes it away for you with his free hand.

“And don’t worry, y/n, it’s not wilting; the petals are just wavy like that.” He gently tugs his arm away from you to signal that he’d like to move on, and once you release him, he takes your hand in his and leads you through the garden.

It has taken L a while to become comfortable with you enough to initiate contact first, but you’re glad that he can now. When you first began dating, things were uncomfortably stiff. You have the habit of word vomiting any time there’s too long of a pause, and L has a habit of withdrawing into his thoughts, so the first few months of dating was just a lot of you oversharing and him just listening.

You didn’t actually think he was paying attention until one day you mentioned how as a child you carried around a stuffed animal, which you affectionately named Ollie the Otter, and lost it on holiday in the US with your family. Within just three days, he bought you the exact same version of your beloved childhood stuffie. You had long since grown out of your stuffed animal phase but were touched nonetheless that he put in the effort to find you the toy, proving that he cares about you in his own way.

Ollie Jr. now sits on L's bed, always tucked under his comforter as if it’s sleeping. Sometimes, though, when L is up late at night doing work, he will wedge the otter between his knees that are pulled up to his chest and rest his chin on it so that he can smell the traces of your perfume on it. He would never admit to it, but you’ve silently watched him work many times before to know that it wasn’t just a one-time occasion.

“Would you like to stop here, y/n?” L gestures to a patch of manicured grass under the shade of a cherry blossom tree.

“Sure. Will you help me lay out the blanket?” You untangle your fingers from him to open the picnic basket you have been carrying. Truthfully, you were relieved that he wanted to stop because the basket had become increasingly heavier throughout your walk. L nods and waits for you to give him an edge of the beige checkered linen blanket so that you can place it down on the grass. As soon as it’s laid out, L splays himself out on it and watches you unpack the food.

His mouth is nearly frothing at the sweets that you place at the edge of the blanket. “I know, I brought your favorite: strawberry shortcake,” you pause to look back at him with his mouth slightly agape. “But you gotta wait until everything’s ready.” Suddenly aware of himself,  L obediently closes his mouth.

At last, you sit across from L with a plate for you to share. L’s eyes grow wide as he reaches for a piece of cake until you swat it away. “Hey,” you coo in a sing-songy voice, “not so fast….” You take the fork out of his hand and cut off a small piece of cake as you feel L’s jet black eyes intensely study your movements. Silently, you lift the fork up towards L’s mouth. “Open,” you say sweetly, waiting for him to comply, which he does quickly. With a smile, you gently feed the cake to L and watch as he closes his eyes in bliss.

One part of L is telling him to be alarmed at the obvious loss of control he’s experiencing, but the other is telling him to relax and allow you to take control of the situation. As he quickly calculates the outcomes of each choice, he realizes that you’ll probably get your way anyway and that it’s no use to object. “’S it good, L?” He opens his eyes to see you watching him intently and nods. “Good, I’m glad. Now gimme a bite, will you?” A sly smile spreads across your face as you pass the other fork to him and wait for him to give you a piece.

The two of you pass some time taking bites of cake, feeding each other strawberries, and talking about random things—from the way L doesn’t like the way the grass pokes his skin to how you’re excited to finally be done with university in a few weeks. Finally, you lie down beside him and situate your head on his chest while his lean fingers languidly massage your scalp. Your breathing quickly syncs together and your chests rise and fall like waves lapping the shore.

“I’m glad we got to go out today. Thank you, y/n.” L picks up your hand resting on your belly and gives it a quick kiss. L had been working on a particularly difficult case for the past few months, which had just wrapped up, so the two of you hadn’t been able to see each other much lately.

“You’re welcome,” you rolled over onto your stomach to face L. “And thank you too. I know how hard it is for you to go into public, but I’m glad to know that you’d do it for me.” You watch as a quick smile paints L’s face, and at that moment, you feel your heart bursting with affection towards him.

“Of course I would, y/n, and I’d do it again, too.” His normally ivory-colored face flushed with color, causing him to turn away from you out of embarrassment.

“L?” He senses you staring at him and slowly meets your gaze again.

“Yes?” His onyx eyes catch yours.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” he replies, not skipping a beat. You smile as you pepper a few kisses on his jawline towards his lips and when finally your lips meet, he presses into you more firmly than you expected. His technique is a little sloppy, but you know he’s trying. When he’s like this, trying to show you his affection instead of explaining it, he’s like a puppy who wants your attention, and who are you to refuse?

“L, I—" you say in between passionate kisses, “love you.” He immediately pulls away from you to study your facial expression. Oh shit oh shit oh shit maybe this wasn’t a good time I shouldn’t have—

“I love you, too.” He responds quickly, pulling you into another series of needy kisses.

With the whole park empty, you don’t have to hide your affection for each other, and oh, how you wish it could be like this all the time.

[sunshinetoshi]

Which flower/plant do you associate your moots with?

okay this idea is so cute omg ty. honestly i don’t know much about flowers/plants besides saying ‘pretty!!’ every time i see one HAHA so i had to look up a bunch so now i’m very soft. ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING THESE MIGHT BE RANDOM BUT I STILL PUT THOUGHT INTO THEM AND IT MADE ME SOFT. i tried to include as many moots as possible (but there are still moots i missed bc i’m shy and we don’t interact as much or i feel like a bother asdajkf sorry lovelies ahh). 

this is me dropping the prettiest bouquets to you all each with a lil kith heheh. ily all 💐💐😙😙

@daichis-kitty - sunflowers (you’re my sunshine bubba heheh plus i know you love ‘em so automatic association). these make me so happy just like you dooooo. personally sunflowers are just so iconic and so are youuu

@tetsunormous - string-of-pearls. okay i LOVE these sm they might be my fave succulent. they make me giggle bc they look like green peas BAHAHA but i also think they’re soo pretty and they make me so happy. that giddiness i feel for them is similar to how i feel for you bestie oooo. okay but also lavender bc purple hearts for you forever

@luvbub - dandelions but before they’re fuzz-on-a-sticks (yellow fits the happy you make me plus the crafty flower crowns and you’re crafty aksdjfh). but even when they're fuzz you make me laugh and smile just like the fuzzies lol

@daichidaichidaichi - black velvet petunia. babe if you haven’t seen these look them up i am in love. petunias themselves and even the name are cute like you but the black captures your theme and i am obsessed.

@gg9183 - willow tree. very romantic vibes which i’ve always gotten from you bb. like imagine a date on a little lake in a row boat. ugh my heart. yeah those are the vibes. these are just so so pretty to me idk. for me your personality embodies an unmatched aesthetic. that doesnt even make sense but i hope it does pLS

@love-oikawa - feather grass but when lavenders grow between them?? very specific HAHA but i looove the look it makes me want to run through a meadow where your fingertips are brushing them and your giggling. idk something very cinematic and then add your s/o. yup. those are my hannah vibes.

@osamus-wife - pothos plant. okay these are the ones i see on ig/pinterest and they’re so aesthetic and i associate them with a person who has their stuff together (is a hard worker) and a person who has style and taste (like your taste in rb’s asdjf immaculate) and i see these things with youuu <33

@sunalma - wisteria. in the lakes by taylor swift there’s a line with wisterias and that whole song is the aura i get when i read your work. like the words just blow me away and i feel so lifted when i read it?? just beautiful bb. and your soul is beautiful too!! also purple for your theme heheh. also pretty flowers for pretty you angel

@xomiya - yerba mate bc i drink guayaki yerba mate when i need to stay up and given your body clock -> yerba mate <33 HAHA but you’re also so florally in my heart and head so also sweet peas my sweet pea soul sis

@catwithangerissues - bonsai tree. i know it’s random but i think it fits pLS. okay one reason is bc i think you’re fun (and slightly chaotic and i love it) and that’s the joy i get when i see those fisherman figurines in a bonsai tree planter thing (is this just me?? ahh) i also think you’re really cool and to me bonsais are so cool. like in general but also how old they can get it’s so cool what!! also your theme is green so my mind went green

@targaryens-blog - bat flower. these are strong and pretty looking flowers that i admire and those are things i think about you and your blog bb. the vibes of these are just amazing woahh. but your sweetness also gives me daisy vibes bc daisies make me so warm and happy so you get two flowers aksdjf

@cubbluv - spruce tree. are these christmas trees?? yes. but the warm fuzzy happy of christmas is like the feeling i have with you. and i will always associate green with you from your theme when we first became moots heheh. also?? i can’t remember but didn’t you saw you liked to pick up pine cones?? if not picking pine cones is cute so i still think it fits aksjdf ily melody heheh

@amjustagirl - southern magnolia tree. i’ve seen one of these trees a while back and they are just so memorable. they just have a unique feeling where you want to sit under the shade of them forever and take in the breeze. and that’s how i feel with your work <33

@kodzkn - marigolds. the slightly orange-y ones. they remind me of your theme and pfp heheh. also whenever i see these irl i go “marigolds!!” which is the energy i have when i see your user on my dash or notifs aksjdf

@notcurrentlyactive - chamomile. okay this one i can't explain but i love how cute the flowers are and i love the tea and you are just so kind and warm they radiate the same energy?? heheh <33

@iwaizumini - ranunculus/buttercup flowers. they’re just so bright and come in so many colors and are pretty just like you!! i love these sm and they make me so happy when i see them so i think they’re a great fit for you. heheh love you bb <33

@shoyotime - wishbone flower. bestie i’ll be honest. i looked up ‘clown flower’ out of curiosity AND THESE POPPED UP. but they’re so cute like you and the purple matches your theme so it actually works out BAHAHA. no but fr you make me so so happy and ilysm so also hydrangeas bc i think these are unmatched pretty flowers. there’s just something about them.

@tsukkisfatsimp - jade plant. okay hear me out bb. this explanation has ~layers~ okay first i love succulents and i love you. simple but effective (especially when i mean it with my whole chest). second the reddish tint on the ends reminds me of your red tsukki theme from back then. and third these grow HECKA fast just like you are on here and it makes me so happy and proud bb heheh

@hvnlydmn - calla lillies. okay i cant pick between the white ones or the black ones but for me they exude hot girl energy bb. either these are red roses. same reason HAHA

@u-make-my-heart-tsumtsum - camellias. pretty and pink and now match your theme heheh. BUT if i’m being honest it’s bc they appear in naruto a lot and when we became moots was when you first deep dived into naruto so that association will probs stay bb akjsdf

@floralkawa - baby’s breath. i think these are my favorite flowers. but just like you they give off the sweetest and softest vibes and they make me smile whenever i see them <33

@lovelytarou - canterbury bells. the blue-ish ones remind me of your theme HAHA. i’ve already told you how much i love your blog but you are also so sweet and funny (pls your tags give me life) and these flowers amuse me and make me smile bc they’re bell-shaped so i’m matching them to you. askdjf okay slightly a reach but bb look how pretty they are!!

@izhyperfixates - hollyhocks. they are just so soft and bright and lovely like you and your blog!! and i can totally see you and kita growing them in the garden you two have oooo

@marshieee - delphiniums. the blue of your theme is just so iconic i love it sm. also these are just so pretty!!

@pixelwisp - forget-me-nots. i know your theme is no longer blue but i still think of blue when i see you on the dash asjdf. also these have the cutest name and i think your user is so cute heheh