#love bts
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I am proud of JK for what he said on instagram in support of his juniors and artists in general. It also goes to show that he doesnât cower. This is not a person who lets anyone force him into anything. But I also want to address all of the people who are blabbering about the fact that he hasnât stood up for Yoongi but can do that.
I have no doubt that there has been much support for Yoongi in private from all of the members. I also have no doubt that they would be honest with him about how they perceive the situation whether that includes concern over his behavior, advice or whatever. With the closeness they have that would be expected. However, there is nothing that any of the other six of them couldâve said publicly that would not have been picked apart or misinterpreted as excusing his behavior or inappropriate in some other way by some of this crazy fandom and by the media .
I mean, letâs face it even if they just said âWe love you Yoongiâ people would be coming out of the woodwork to say⌠âHe is supposed to set a good example as an idol and all they can say is that they love him instead of letting him know that he should do better.â They would be called privileged.. They would be attacked for not chastising him or apologizing for him.
There is no way that he would want or expect any of them to say anything publicly about his situation. For his sake and their own. With everything else that is going on, enough is being said all over the place without inadvertently feeding the BTS hatred frenzy.
I think people need to get a grip and understand that we donât see 90% of the actual relationships they have with each other. But what I do know and Iâm not really sure why others donât at this point, is that they have gotten this far by knowing exactly how to support each other. They have gotten this far by choosing each other over and over again. They have gotten this far by growing and learning from mistakes with each other. They have also gotten this far by being intelligent, and the intelligent choice in this matter would be to stay silent publicly.
So how about we quit looking for a reason to attack them at all?
JK is standing up for people who need to be stood up for and he knows what heâs doing and he knows why. He was very young when he started. This has to be very important to him and carefully considered for him to go out of his way at this time to say something publicly. And I can tell you for free that this is something his friend Yoongi understands him doing.
I guess maybe I just am always looking at the reasons they amaze me as humans. They let us see their mistakes and their flaws and struggles alongside their incredible talent..Itâs a lovely thing. I donât really understand why people want to tear them down so badly. How can you call yourself ARMY and do that?
If you are so unhappy in this fandom and it no longer brings you joy perhaps itâs time to move on. I personally am staying right with them.. As they are. đđ
ďżź
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New ARMY and completely obsessed
The loss of sleep so I can just read one more thing is only outweighed by my regret that I didn't pay attention to BTS sooner. Thank you social media algorithms for introducing me! I love them so much and I am way too old to say that without feeling a little awkward. I am grateful that my hyperfixation has settled enough for me to return to a normal sleeping pattern. I am continuing to spend all my free time exploring the incredible amount of content out there and am grateful for all the information I have found here on Tumblr. (yes, I joined Tumbler to feed my BTS obsession) So thank you to everyone I have liked and reblogged!
I am OT7 ARMY first. I love them all (even if I am a little extra obsessed with Jimin and Jungkook) and think they are a really special group of people. It's obvious to me that they are very close and truly care about each other like family. That being said, I definitely think Jimin and Jungkook are together and consider myself a supporter. You're welcome to call me delulu and that is okay. Obviously I can't know anything for sure and I'm okay if I am wrong about them, but I'm convinced they have a special bond and there are too many things that I couldn't reason away, even though I tried. But since I am convinced now that they are together, I'm okay with having my likely delulu moments where I enjoy reading into cute, possibly innocent interactions between those two. Maybe I'll share some with you. :)
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"BTS was, is, and will be SEVEN."
#bts#bts suga#bts jin#bts jungkook#bts jhope#bts jimin#bts rm#bts v#bts army#bts is seven#love bts#love you Suga
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Bangtan Bombs...
As we enter into Festa 2023, how about re-visiting some old Bangtan Bombs? I was not ARMY 10 years ago, and knew nothing of K-Pop, so I didnât see any of their early content.
Iâm only 3 years in, and just love to see some of the old Bangtan Bombs. The guys look so young, and they were just so wide open in front of the cameras. Â
Little did they know what they would become. đđđ
Here are a few, beginning with the very first one posted on YouTube...
youtube
youtube
youtube
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Happy Festa! đđđ
#bts#festa 2023#bangtan bombs#oldies but goodies#they were so cute#look at them now#love bts#bangtan and army forever#miss them as 7
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Remember every ARMY out there; Jimin has written so many letters for us round the years, so donât ever think that youâre not loved or wanted.
I want you, Jimin wants us, BTS wants us.
đđ
In case youâre feeling down;
Now you wonât. đđâşď¸
We love youâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸đđ
#love BTS#jimin#bts#bts army#purple#i purple you đ#armyforever#bts forever#never alone#loveyourself#đ#jk#bts v#agust d#hope#jhope#bts rm#bts jin#not alone after all#smile#SoundCloud
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as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.
#I'm talking about max ride flatmate is watching spy x family#reminiscing on my multiple stories and ocs about this like truly#I think this might not be as universal as i think but if you liked max ride it probably was. my main oc as a tiny child was#a girl who grew up to be an unethical scientist who loved experimenting on humans and children. she could turn into a flying purple wolf bt#maximum ride
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Omg, Iâm reminded that this was the first BTS video I ever watched! I had ZERO idea who they were, and knew ZERO about KPop. Ziltch. Â
If you look at Hobiâs shoes, THAT is what brought me to the video. For real. It was those xVessels that he had on. LOL... What the heck does a pair of shoes have to do with BTS, you might ask? đ¤Ł
In 2019 I was watching a LOT of C-Dramas. Historical and fantasy, because I loved the costumes, and it was just cool to me. I had stepped away from almosts all American TV(donât own one) and movies, because I was tired of the manipulation of the psyche that accompanies said stuff... thereâs a reason why itâs called âprogramsâ. ((oops, I digress!))
In my exploration of C-Dramas I started looking up the actors as I knew literally nothing about the people or that industry, and I am a curious creature. I like to learn about cultures that I know nothing about. Â
Sooooo.... I look up Vanness Wu, and start following him on IG. Heâs a Chinese-American actor with a shoe company called.... xVessel. lol... AND, one day he posted a photo of our beloved Hobi wearing his yellow Lows. Then, he posted a clip from the same video above, as Hobi was wearing his yellow Lows again.
So I watch the clip and I am totally confused by what I am watching. I had never seen anything like BTS, like ever. (Iâve been on the planet a long time.) I couldnât understand the hoopla, so I took the next step and headed over to YouTube.....Â
Before you know it, I had taken the deep dive head-first. Down the BTS rabbit hole I went, and I never pulled myself out, and never looked back. 3.5 years (?) later, here we are. Â
There is so much that I could share about everything I have learned since that day. Iâve navigated through judgement, couldnât understand the whole rapper line/vocal line, why so many guys, and just a general ignorance of the culture and K-Pop industry. Because I am a self-aware Soul, I know to push back when my monkey mind wants to take something and spin it in a way that isnât really good. I know to call myself out and know how to push myself beyond my beliefs to consider looking with clear vision and an open mind. Â
So, here I am on a platform that I didnât know existed, 3.5 years ago, in a community of Peeps who love BTS like I do. I have my virtual BTS fam, and continue to learn and grow as a Human through this experience, both as an individual and as a part of Community. Â
Thank you to whoever shared the clips from the video. Iâve been reminded just how far I have come, in this Journey as Army. Iâm forever grateful to have had BTS placed in my Lifeâs Path. Â
this fit!!!
#bantgan forever#hobis xvessels#bts army forever#its the yellow lows#its actually vanness wus fault#bts during lockdown#love bts#bts rabbit hole is endless#no looking back#loved kookies blue hair#really it is kooks fault#then came jiminie#jiminie is and old soul#too many hashtags again#lololol#grateful for bts as they teach me every day#do they know about their guardian angel in nc
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herbert west playing yugioh if you even care đ
#you have no idea how long this took me#it was supposed to be a silly little edit and then i was like#but what if i tried to make it look as real as possible#anyway i'm mentally ill uwu#i just love the bts pic of him playing solitaire so much#plus i needed a new twitter header so what better image to use#my edit#reanimator#re-animator#re animator#herbert west#jeffrey combs#hp lovecraft#yugioh
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D-DAY THE FINAL ⌠INTRO : Never Mind
#btsgif#btsedit#dailybts#yoongiedit#min yoongi#suga#bts#gif#i love you hope youre doing well im cheering for you
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Wait for your love | jjk
â Â pairing: firefighter!jungkook x female readerÂ
â Â genre: kind of exes to lovers, parents au, angst, fluff, and smutÂ
â rating: 18+Â
â Â summary: sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation â none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your schoolâs team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
â Â words: 17,383
â Â warnings: strong language, car accident, blood, mention of pregnancy, mention of cheating, mention of divorce, mention of sex, sever injuries, mention of death, crying, mention of heartbreak, mention of breakup, oc suffers quite a lot, mention of unprotected sex, mention of fire, mention of fighting, kissing, pain struggle, tattooed!jungkook, dom!jungkook, big cock!jungkook, praising, oc and jungkook are needy, choking, a bit of fingering, a bit of handjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, morning sex, slow sex (is it even a thing?), and creampie
â authorâs note: so here you finally have this fic đ¤ iâve been working on it for a little while already & iâve adored writing it! To be honest, this is my fav jk that iâve ever written đŤŁI truly hope youâll enjoy this fic as much as iâve enjoyed writing it ⨠donât hesitate to let me know what you think of it â¤ď¸
â playlist: supernatural | forget about us | standing next to you | bed chem | juno
MASTERLIST
The sound of the sirens echoes in your ears.
Your eyes are completely shut, your entire body hurts, and you put your hand on your head as if youâre trying to stop the pain youâre feeling. Slowly you try to open your eyes, and you see the completely broken windshield of your car. You take a look around to notice how damaged the inside of your car is.
Itâs pretty bad.
Your eyes flutter shut once more, the effort to keep them open too much to bear. Gradually, you feel yourself falling asleep. As you slip into slumber, your mind is drawn back to a painful memory â the day you gave your son up for adoption. Â
Being a teen mother wasnât on your plans. Even though you really wanted to become a mother, it simply wasnât possible then. Having a kid at sixteen wouldnât be easy and for sure, you wouldnât be able to offer a proper life to that kid. It wouldnât be fair to him to keep him only because you wished to become a mother. He deserved to have a good life, to have loving parents, and to accomplish all his dreams.
On top of that, the baby was living proof that you cheated on your then-boyfriend. Definitely, you werenât proud of yourself. The father of your baby was a bit of a jerk, but, when he found out about your pregnancy, he showed nothing but support. It was surprising, but it felt great to have him by your side.
Giving your son up for adoption was devastatingly hard. But it was the best for him. After that, you spent the last sixteen years wondering what he had become. Every boy you met thatâd match his age; youâd wonder if it was him. And sometimes, youâd regret abandoning him. In those moments, crying was the only solution.
As hard as possible, you resist the urge to fall asleep, but the headache is making this battle hard to fight.
âMa'am,â you hear a distant voice.
Those words echo in your mind, and strangely, it feels like this voice is a familiar one. The pain must be causing some hallucination, you think. But as hard as you can, you try to find out who could be the owner of that voice.
While you think, your eyes open a bit before closing again. Your hand remains on your head, and suddenly, you remember who it is. It is the father of your firstborn.
As you realize who it might be, you shake your head. Itâs impossible to be him. After the birth of your baby, you went separate ways and never heard of him anymore. Sometimes, you hope to meet him again to check what he has become.
That man was handsome as hell so youâre absolutely sure that he found someone, got married, and had children. From time to time, you think about him and wonder if he also thinks about your baby as much as you do. Maybe he doesnât since youâre convinced he has new children to think of.
But thatâs silly of you to think that because after your firstborn, you had three other adorable children: two girls, Jia and Jiwoo, and a little boy, Jeong. Being their mother and caring about them never made you forget about your first.
On top of being a mother, you also got married to Minkyu. You met him three years after giving birth, and you were convinced he was the love of your life. However, you ended up divorcing after eight years of marriage. It wasnât easy, you felt like a total failure. Now, youâre living on your own, sharing custody of your three babies with your ex-husband. Luckily, you remained on good terms, youâd even say youâre friends now.
For the past two years, youâve been focusing on yourself which means no relationships. But that doesnât exclude one-night stands. Youâre very careful as you donât want your children to one day stumble upon one of the guys youâve been fucking with. And you also want to avoid getting pregnant again.
When you planned on stopping the pill to have a child with Minkyu, your gynecologist told you that you seemed to be the fertile type. She was quite right since you got pregnant right after stopping the pill. In three years, you had three kids. So, it explains it all. And it also explains how you easily got pregnant at sixteen, the only time you didnât use protection.
Now, youâre wondering if this is how your life ends. Youâve last seen your kids four days ago, youâre probably never going to fall in love again, and youâre never going to see your firstborn. This is a tragic way to die. Your mind only thinks about your babies.
Although your mind feels disconnected from your body, you sense a pair of strong arms lifting you up. Â Your body is completely sore, and even being held in someoneâs arms is painful. The person is talking to you, or at least talking to someone but your brain doesnât process the words at all. Â Â
Then, the pain knocks you up.
Jungkook and his team got called for a car accident involving several cars, and when they arrived, the scene was horrific.
There are probably five cars pressed and smashed one against the other. There are people injured and bleeding walking around the scene. Paramedics are already taking care of them, but Jungkook is walking to the cars to retrieve the people stuck inside. His captain screams orders and tells him which car he should go to.
His eyes look around, his heart breaking when he sees everyone involved and still stuck in their cars. Visions like this are quite common for him, it doesnât happen all the time but itâs still recurrent. At the end of the day, his job is to save people in this type of situation.
When he reaches the car, he was assigned to, he takes a look at how many people there are inside. Thereâs just one person, a woman behind the steering wheel. She has her hand on her head, clearly showing that she might have a headache. She doesnât really move. Instantly, Jungkook tries to open the door, but itâs showing a bit of resistance.
It feels impossible to open the door, but Jungkook sees the womanâs head falling. Heâs getting worrier; sheâs slumping into sleep which isnât a good sign as she was holding her head barely seconds ago. He then proceeds to break the window so he can try to open it from inside. There are other possible ways, but it would be harder and more dangerous to get her out of the vehicle.
âMaâam,â he says with urge.
Eventually, he manages to open the damn door from the inside. A good part of the carâs front is crashing into her. Before even thinking of taking her out, he places a cervical collar to protect her neck and spine.
âMaâam,â he repeats. âCan you hear me?â
She doesnât answer at all. Jungkook gets closer, his fingers brushing the hair from her face, but when he finally gets to properly see the womanâs face, his heart skips a beat. This woman is none other than you. His mind canât start to get lost in the past right now. He needs to focus on taking you out of the car. Â Â
Youâre in pretty bad shape.
Thereâs blood on your forehead, you most probably have a wound on top of your head. Thereâs also blood at the level of your stomach, turning your green shirt into a very dark color. He can distinguish a big fragment of glass shoved into your belly. It doesnât look good. Your legs are also completely smashed by the front, causing the steering wheel to be very close to your body.  Hopefully, your legs arenât too injured. He doesnât even want to start thinking about all the bruises on your body.
Slowly, he places one hand behind your back while his other hand slowly pushes your legs. Heâs trying to be as careful as possible to avoid causing any other injury. Â His strong arms hold you once he manages to fully remove you from the car. His eyes look down at your face with evident pain. He notices how youâre trying to open your eyes which makes him think that youâre trying to fight the urge to fall asleep.
âYn,â he says while walking to an ambulance. âPlease, stay with me,â he whispers with despair. âIâve finally found you, and I canât lose you right away.â
A tear streams down his face as Jungkook begins to run. âFuck, fuck,â he mumbles when he realizes that youâve now fallen asleep. Â âHelp me here,â he shouts to some paramedics.
Two people run in his direction with a stretcher, and he carefully places you there. His eyes never leave you until youâre placed inside an ambulance.
Never did he think heâd find you like this. For the past sixteen years, he imagined the many ways heâd stumble upon you. He thought of meeting you randomly one day in the streets, in a shop, or even in a restaurant. Meeting you after a car crash wasnât on his mind at all.
Jungkook then proceeds to take care of the other people stuck in their cars. His job isnât over yet, other people are waiting for his help. Thankfully enough, after so many years of experience, heâs able to focus on what he has to do.
Slowly, you open your eyes. Instinctively, you place your hand on your head since you last remember having a headache, but it doesnât hurtâat least not anymore. For a brief moment, you close your eyes again while trying to understand what happened. Â
Once you open your eyes once more, you look around to realize that youâre lying on a hospital bed. Youâre in a room, an individual one. Although youâre alone in a room, can hear many people talking outside.
In the midst of all the noise, you distinguish your sisterâs voice. You canât really understand what sheâs saying but she seems worried. Somebody is talking to her, but you donât recognize the voice. After a little while, your sister opens the door to join you.
A smile appears on her face when she sees you awake. âYn,â she says before hugging you. You wrap your arms around her, sheâs holding you tight. Thereâs no need for her to speak for you to understand she was dead worried. It also leaves you wondering if youâre really in a bad situation. Â When she finally takes a step back, you can see how worried she is.
âI was death worried,â she says. âI thought you died.â
Those words crunch your heart. The simple thought of picturing your sister thinking that is heartbreaking. However, youâre still here. Maybe not in your best shape but youâre still alive.
âDeath was too afraid of me,â you jokingly say.
âItâs not funny,â sheâs definitely annoyed that youâre joking. âItâs very bad, yn.â
Her eyes donât betray her, it doesnât look great. For sure, itâs bad since you remember seeing your car completely destroyed. Memories of the car crash come back. It happened quite fast. The car in front of you didnât notice the car on the left. Two vehicles in front of you suddenly collided with each other. Due to the small distance and minimal reaction time, you were unable to stop in time, which led to you colliding into the cars. The same happened to the cars behind colliding into you.
âTwo people died in the crash, yn, and the doctors didnât give me many details when they called me,â she explains.
âHow long have I been here?â you ask.
It leaves you wondering how long it has been since the car crash happened.
âAlmost two days,â she informs.
âOh,â you simply say.
Your sister then proceeds to explain to you that you went through a couple of surgeries.
When you arrived, you had a glass shoved into your stomach and it caused some damage. You were bleeding internally so you first had surgery to remove the glass and stitch any part of your intestines that needed to be repaired.
On top of that, your knees were destroyed and a part of your hips was broken. So after the stomach surgery, you went through a long surgery to repair your knees, and later on, another one to repair your hips.
Your sister doesnât know the specificities of the surgeries, but those surgeries are already a lot. She also tells you that you evidently have bruises and scratches all over your body. It definitely sounds bad, but youâre under the influence of painkillers so you donât really feel anything so far.
âWhere are Jia, Jiwoo, and Jeong?â you ask looking around.
âMinkyu took them back home a couple of hours ago,â she tells you.
If your sister was dead worried, you canât even start to imagine how your kids were feeling. You have such a strong bond with them, and they are still so young; your little Jiwoo is only four years old. You donât even doubt that they started imagining the worst.
âHow are they?â you ask.
âAs you can imagine, itâs been harder for them than for anyone else,â your heart aches. âTheyâve been crying a lot.â
You close your eyes, holding back the tears. It breaks your heart to have put your babies through this. Even though itâs far from being your fault, you never want to hurt your babies like that. Your role as a mother is to protect them.
âWeâve all been there for them,â she adds.
A tear runs down your face.
âDonât worry, big sis,â she says before hugging you once more. âTheyâll be so happy to see you fully awake.â
You hold her tight in your embrace to comfort you in some kind of way. For a little while, you both stay like this.
âThereâs been a firefighter coming to visit you every day,â she whispers in your ear. âA handsome one, actually.â
A little giggle escapes your lips.
âStop saying nonsense,â you give her a little tap.
She takes a step back with the brightest smile on her face.
âIâm very serious, yn,â she says. âThe firefighter that saved you has been coming to check up on you.â
Well, it sounds like heâs kind of adorable. Itâs definitely very sweet of him to take the time to check up on you after saving your life.
âHeâs extremely hot too,â she adds.
âStop it,â you say. âYouâre exaggerating!â
âI am not!â she instantly replies. âYouâll see when he comes.â
You roll your eyes. Sheâs definitely unbelievable as always, but sheâs your sister. You love her beyond comprehension because she was your very first baby. You have a ten-year gap and youâve been taking care of her since the very first minute she was born. Your parents had her very late; they were almost 40 years old but the happiest.
When you were around two, they started trying to have a second child. However, it didnât go as planned. Your mother suffered two miscarriages and after that, it became even harder to have a child. Eventually, when you were around eight, they gave up. They were happy to have you and settled with the idea that youâd be an only child.
But against all odds, a year later, she got pregnant. The pregnancy went to full term, and thatâs how you became a big sister.
The gap between you was harder around your teenage years. All you were thinking about was boys, and all she wanted was to play. She also wanted to have a younger sibling, but your parents were already too old for that. Your mum said that she couldnât handle another big age gap between her kids.
Your sister was the happiest when you announced your pregnancy at sixteen. She was only six back then, and that baby would have been like the little sibling she always desired to have. She was devastated when you explained to her that you wouldnât keep the baby. Your parents were too but they understood and supported your decision.
Outside your parents, nobody ever knew that Jungkook was the father of your first son. At first, your ex-boyfriend thought that he was the father, that maybe a condom broke and thatâs how you got pregnant. But you always knew that he wasnât the father. It simply wasnât possible. It all got confirmed when you birthed a baby that looked a lot like Jungkook.
You still remember how heartbroken your ex was, and you couldnât blame him. The breakup was too hard to handle back then so you never told anyone who the father was, except for Jungkook. He deserved to know the truth. You werenât expecting much from him as he was the basketball star of your school team. And above anything else, he was a complete jerk.
Nevertheless, he proved you wrong when he supported you. He was by your side for the entirety of the pregnancy. He came to all the ultrasounds and gynecologist's appointments. He was there, and he completely stopped being a jerk to your eyes. Eventually, you became closer, but you refused to be more than friends even though you had strong feelings for him.
Why?
Because itâd be too hard to stay with him after giving up your son for adoption. Jungkook was also supposed to leave for one of the best colleges after that. It was in another city, and you knew heâd stay if you dated. You refused to let him give up his dreams for you. You broke his heart; you could see it in his eyes, but it was for the best. If you were meant to be, youâd find your way back. But it never happened. After that, you completely lose contact. Â
Thereâs a knock on the door. Your sister proceeds to open it, letting the person come in. âSpeaking of the devil,â she turns her head to look at you with the brightest smile on her face.
When the famous live-savior firefighter enters, the entire world completely freezes. The firefighter is none other than Jungkook. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet. After all these years, you finally see him again.
A smile spreads on his face when he sees you awake. You can tell that heâs relieved. For an instant, you take a proper look at him. Heâs still wearing his firefighter uniform, indicating that he most probably came from a mission â if thatâs the correct word to use. His hair is very short and a tiny bit messy. Above anything else, he absolutely looks tired, the dark circles under his eyes betraying him.
âHi,â he simply says as he takes a step inside.
âHi, Jungkook,â you reply.
Your sister is at first taken aback by the fact that you know his name, but as she takes a proper look at your facial expressions, she can tell that you know him.
âIâll leave you two,â she says before disappearing.
âHow are you feeling?â he asks while getting closer.
âI guess fine for now, but not sure, how Iâll feel when the painkillers will no longer have any effects.â Â Â
His eyes scan your face while yours do the same. His beauty is still breathtaking; youâd even say that he aged like fine wine.
âThanks for rescuing me from the car crash,â you add.
âNo need to thank me,â he instantly replies. âItâs part of my job.â
âI still need to. Without you, I wouldnât be here today.â
Even though itâs part of his job, he saved you, and he deserves to be thanked for that. You would have said it to any other firefighter.
âItâs good to see you awake,â he says.
There is so much you want to say to him, but at the same time, now that you have him in front of you, you donât even know what to say.
âI just quickly passed by to check up on you,â he informs you. âI need to get back to work.â
âNo problems,â you reply. âThanks for coming.â
âWould you mind if I come back later?â he nervously asks.
Your heart is now racing in your chest. Of course, you want him to come back so you get to catch up and find out how he went from basketball player to firefighter.
âNo, I wouldnât mind,â a little smile appears on your face.
âThanks,â he says before waving goodbye and leaving your room.
Seconds later, your sister storms inside your room. She has that expression on her face that says: âwho the hell is this guy?â.
âWho is he?â she asks while taking a seat.
Sheâs definitely expecting to hear something like: âheâs a guy I slept with after my breakupâ, or âI met him at a barâ, or anything of that sort because it was obvious there was something going on between you. The look you both had wasnât saying we were simply friends. It was a look screaming âsomething hot and sexy happened between usâ.
âThe guy that knocked me up sixteen years ago.â
âMama,â your oldest daughter, Jia says. âWhen are you leaving the hospital?â
An hour ago, the doctor in charge of you came to explain the extent of the situation to you. Since you now have metal wires in your knees, youâll have to go through a long recovery, and youâll have to follow physiotherapy to learn how to walk again.
On top of that, your intestines were stitched, and it will definitely be hard for a moment to eat and drink. So, for at least ten days, youâll remain in observation at the hospital. There is for sure a very long recovery ahead of you, but what matters is that youâre still alive.
For what is coming, you know you can count on your familyâs support, and without any doubts, seeing your babies will help you navigate the hard times. Obviously, youâre also very self-aware that sometimes, it might be too hard, and during those times, even your support system wonât be enough.
âIâll stay for a little while, boo,â you answer.
She seems a bit sad by your answer which is totally understandable. Briefly, you take a look at Jiwoo and Jeong to see if they also look sad, and they have the exact same facial expression as their older sister.
Your ex-husband, Minkyu is also present. Itâs logical since itâs his week with them, and also because you were literally in a coma. When your eyes meet, you give him a little smile. By the way heâs looking at you, he definitely seems worried.
âBut youâll see, time will go by super-fast,â you try to reassure them. âAnd very soon, Iâll be home with you.â
You canât wait to go home and be with them even though for a little while, due to the recovery time, it wonât be easy at all. But youâll be with your babies which honestly is the only thing that matters.
Your babies jump on the bed and hug you. Feeling all this love coming from the little human beings you create warms your heart beyond comprehension. Although the pain is starting to kick in, you pretend like you donât feel anything because you want to savor this moment with them.
Jeong, your son, shows you what he drew at school for you. He takes the time to explain what it represents. Itâs definitely adorable. Then, Jiwoo tells you how her day went by. She played a lot with her friends, she learned to count until 20, and her teacher told her she was an amazing learner. Her face was shining, and you couldnât be prouder.
Your oldest daughter doesnât speak much, letting her younger siblings talk. You then try to make her talk about her day, but she bursts into tears, hiding her face in your chest. Your heart definitely breaks while you hold her in your arms.
âWhat happened, boo?â you caress her back, trying to comfort her as much as you can.
Sheâs heavily crying, your shirt getting wet with her tears.
âMy little boo-boo,â you whisper. âWhatâs going on?â you add. âTell me.â
She hugs you even more which squeezes your heart. You donât like seeing your babies like that.
âI thought you were dead, mommy,â she sniffs.
âOooh, my boo-boo,â you really want to cry at her words. Imagining her thinking that is one thing but hearing her saying it out loud is something completely different. âIâm so sorry.â Thatâs all you can say.
Jiwoo and Jeong join the hug, trying in their own way to comfort their big sister. This is a heartwarming hug, and it comforts you beyond comprehension. Itâs hard to see them like that, but itâll get better with time. Minkyu joins you for what is like a family hug now. This right here is the only thing that you need.
After this uplifting moment, your ex-husband and babies leave you alone in this cold hospital room. They need to go back home; the kids need to wash, do their homework, and get ready for bed. You wish they could have stayed longer because you donât want to stay alone. Â
The pain is now unbearable, and it honestly scares you for the long recovery awaiting you. Luckily, right after your family left, a nurse came in to give you dinner together with strong painkillers.
The food is âas imaginedâ disgusting. Thereâs nothing you can do about it, but tomorrow, youâll try to convince your sister to bring you a pizza or sushi or some fast food. Thereâs no way youâll survive ten days with this horrible food.
A little later, someone knocks at the door. As promised earlier, Jungkook appears inside your room with a bright smile on his face. You return the smile as it honestly makes you happy that heâs here.
âHi,â you say.
For a brief moment, your eyes linger on his figure. Heâs no longer in his firefighter uniform; Â heâs dressed in an all-black outfit that, in all honesty, suits him well. A pair of jeans, a tight shirt, and a leather jacket give him an entirely different vibe from earlier. His hair, now perfectly arranged, makes him look strikingly similar to how he did sixteen years ago. Â
âHi,â he walks closer to you.
His eyes notice the serving tray with the empty plate.
âWas it good?â he points to the empty plate.
âIt definitely wasnât,â a little laugh escapes your lips while you shake your head. âThe good thing is that the dessert was a chocolate mousse.â
Jungkookâs smile grows bigger on his face.
âYour favorite dessert,â he whispers.
Now, youâre the one smiling more. When pregnant, you could eat a chocolate mousse without growing tired of it. Due to that, you gained quite some weight during your first pregnancy. Anyway, it was the least of your concerns since you knew you were about to give your son up for adoption.
âYou still rememberâŚâ
âHow couldnât I?â he instantly says. âYou were eating it night and day.â
You giggle as you remember it.
âYou werenât helping too,â you accuse him. âWhenever Iâd ask for one, youâd make it, and youâre a good cooker.â
Jungkook was your personal chef. Whatever dish youâd ask for, heâd prepare it. His mousses were so delicious that you found yourself always craving them. The ones from the supermarket simply couldnât compare to Jungkookâs.
âWell, for my defense, I couldnât let a pregnant woman starve,â he puts his hands up.
It doesnât feel like sixteen years happened since you last spoke. Itâs great you found each other again. It wasnât under great circumstances, but heâs here now.
âThat was nice of you,â you gently say.
âDo you mind if I take a seat?â he points to the chair near your bed.
âNo, no,â you shake your head.
Jungkook sits down before turning to you. Heâs incredibly close now, allowing you to get a better look at him. Heâs definitely gotten older, the wrinkles on his face canât lie. The beginning of a beard is also easily noticeable.
âHow bad does it hurt?â he seriously asks.
âIs it that obvious?â you say.
Jungkook nods. Honestly, this time around the painkillers arenât helping much. Your entire body aches, you canât even say which part hurts more.
âItâs pretty bad,â you answer. âEven with the painkillers now, it hurts like hell.â
âIf you want, I can call a nurse,â he suggests.
âNo, itâs fine,â you answer. âIâll probably need to wait a bit more before it really takes effect.â
Jungkook doesnât really listen to you since he leaves the room. You roll your eyes but with a big smile on your face. Itâs incredible how he didnât change after all these years. He used to never believe you when you were in pain.
A few seconds later, he comes back with a nurse. They are talking, and heâs explaining that Iâm in extreme pain. Heâs exaggerating a bit the reality. However, the nurse administers you a stronger painkiller and she also tells you that you shouldnât hesitate to call her if youâre suffering. Then, she leaves. Slowly, youâre finally feeling the pain going away.
âYou didnât need to do that,â you tell him once the nurse leaves the room.
âYes, I needed,â he instantly says. âThereâs no way I was leaving you suffering unnecessarily.â
Jungkook seems definitely concerned.
âYou donât have to play the strong girl after this terrible car crash.â
Heâs not wrong, but this is one of your flaws. Youâll only take a painkiller unless you donât have much of a choice. Most of the time, you donât take anything as youâre convinced you can handle anything.
You simply nod while Jungkook sits again on the chair. This time, you start talking about what has been going on in your lives for the past sixteen years.
Jungkook barely managed to finish his college years because he honestly had his mind somewhere else. After all, he had become a father, given his son up for adoption, and had his heart broken by the girl he always had a crush on. He didnât mention the last part. He had tremendous regrets about how everything went down.
Right after college, he became a firefighter; a passion he randomly discovered the summer before. Saving lives, and helping others in need is what truly fulfills him. He considers his job as his own therapy even though itâs not always easy to deal with the horrific visions he might encounter.
Eight years ago, he met a French girl who had recently moved here. They fell in love and had a little boy, Noah. Heâs four years old today; the same age as your youngest daughter. His eyes were filled with love when he started speaking about him. He said his boy is a mini version of his mother so he barely looks Korean. He even has blue eyes.
However, heâs no longer with her. They broke up three years ago and they arenât really on good terms today. She already threatened to move back to France with Noah. They went through a tough legal battle for their sonâs custody. Itâs a shared one, and Jungkookâs parents are the intermediates between them. They pick up Noah at her place to bring him to Jungkookâs, and vice versa. Â
It honestly broke your heart to hear about all that. It doesnât seem to be an easy situation, and hearing his story makes you feel even more grateful for the good relationship you maintain with Minkyu. Â
Then, you proceed to tell him about what your life has looked like for the past sixteen years.
âLately, Iâve been thinking a lot about our son,â you honestly say.
Four months ago, on the 2nd of June to be precise, your son turned sixteen. Heâs the age you were when you gave birth to him. Since that day, youâve definitely been wondering what he has become. Is he also about to become a father? You hope not.
âWell, I always think about him, but lately, itâs been more than usual,â you explain. âAnd I also imagine him with my other kids, and I wonder what bond theyâd have.â
Jungkook only nods. âI get that,â those are his only words.
You refrain from continuing to talk about your son as it seems to affect him in some way. Maybe itâs simply too hard for him to think about that son you didnât keep. You understand that so you prefer to stop talking. But his next words definitely catch you by surprise.
âIâve found our son.â
Seventeen years ago
As you step inside the pretty big basketball court, your eyes immediately look for a place to sit. There arenât many people watching the teamâs training. You place yourself in the very last row, almost as if youâre trying to hide yourself âor to hide your little secret.
Instinctively, your eyes look for Jungkook, the best basketball player. Heâs the reason for your presence. Quickly, you take a look at your watch. The training should be over soon.
Your heart is beating crazily in your chest. What you have to tell him isnât easy, especially since you donât really know what to do. Youâre actually even convinced that heâll tell you to fuck off. Jungkook is known to be a jerk after all.
The man notices you while running in the court. His eyebrows frown, as youâre the last person he was expecting to see here. The past month has been hectic because things have been hot and cold with you. For a while already, he has been having a massive crush on you, but heâs never said anything because youâre in a relationship with Minho.
Even though heâs known to be an asshole, he never wanted to be the reason for your separation. However, last month, you had sex, and youâve been feeling guilty since then. He can only understand you so heâs stayed away to give you the space you need. Nevertheless, you would sometimes interact and to his surprise, youâd be nice.
âJungkook,â someone screams.
He grabs the ball that is thrown at him, and heâs focused again on the game. The end comes rapidly. Jungkook walks directly in your direction and you give him a little smile. As he gets closer, he instantly notices the sadness in your eyes. He sits down next to you with heavy breathing. His face is red, his hair is wet, and heâs all sweaty.
âHi,â he says with a smile.
âHi,â you reply.
Deep down, heâs kind of hoping youâre here to tell him that youâve broken up with Minho. Thatâs all heâs ever wanted, especially since he slept with you.
âHow are you?â he asks with evident concern.
âNot good,â you bite your lower lip, tears already forming in your eyes.
Jungkook directly pushes you into his arms to comfort you. Tears stream down your face while you hold him tight in your embrace. You hold him as if your world depends on it. Quickly, you start sobbing which breaks Jungkookâs heart. Heâs definitely worried now, especially since he would have never imagined you coming to cry into his arms. He gently rubs your back in silence, letting you cry in peace.
This scene seems unreal to him.
After a little while, you take a step back to clean your face, dabbing at the tears that seem to not stop. Youâre sure you look like a complete mess right now with your red eyes, face ravaged with tears, and trembling hands. Jungkook is staring at you, his gaze filled with heavy unspoken words.
âSorry,â you mumble.
âDonât worry,â he replies.
Jungkook tugs a strand of hair behind your ear.
âItâs not easy what I have to say,â you admit.
âItâs okay,â he gently says. âTake your time.â Â
Jungkook has never been a jerk with you. Heâs definitely a tease, and heâs been teasing you for months now. But he has never been mean or rude. Even though itâs been quite obvious to you that he was flirting with you all this time, heâs been nothing but respectful and never crossed the line.
But that was until you couldnât resist him anymore.
Obviously, heâs a very handsome guy and it flattered you a lot that he was interested in you. However, youâre in a relationship with Minho. Heâs been your boyfriend for a couple of months, and you adore him. But Jungkook has shaken everything up. It was obvious that one day you would surrender to temptation.
Jungkook is very good in bed, thereâs no doubt about it. Your one-night stand was a memorable one, but youâve felt nothing but guilt since then. And you also hate yourself. How could you have done that to Minho? Heâs been nothing but an angel to you. You clearly donât deserve him.
âIâm pregnant,â you admit.
Jungkookâs body freezes completely. Of all the things he was expecting to hear, this definitely wasnât one of them. This is quite a bombshell! This will forever change your life, and he can only sympathize with you. Now, it leaves him wondering if heâs the father.
âIs it Minhoâs?â he asks after a couple of seconds. âOr mine?â
âItâs yours,â you inform him.
Although this is a piece of very destabilizing news, he kind of feels proud to be the father of your child. Itâs a weird feeling but the chances of him being the father are quite low since youâre in a relationship.
âYouâre sure?â he asks.
âOf course, I am,â you almost sound offended. âI always use protection with Minho,â you whisper. âAnd if you remember correctly, we didnât.â
âRight,â he nods.
You were so in the heat that a condom was the last thing you both thought of, but you used the pullout method. Looks like it wasnât the brightest idea. It would have been best if you had been more careful. Now itâs too late to go back in time. Now, thereâs a baby on the way. Â
âIâm so scared to tell him,â you admit.
Tears start running down your face again.
âWhat will I become now?â you add. âMy life is ruined.â
Jungkook cleans your face because he doesnât like to see you in this state.
âYour life isnât ruined, yn,â his thumb caresses your cheek.
âHow canât it be ruined?â you desperately say. âIâm pregnant; I'll give birth in less than nine months. My life will all be about that baby, Iâll have to drop school, and Iâll have to be a parent when Iâm still a kid.â
The man in front of you can only understand your despair. His life will also drastically change from now on. Most probably, heâll also need to give up on his dream college to work and provide for this baby.
âIâm here, and we will find a solution,â he whispers. âYouâre not alone.â
You shake your head. Thereâs no way youâll find a solution. It is simple: thereâs a baby on the way, and outside that, thereâs the whole situation where you cheated on your boyfriend.
âAnd Minho will be completely heartbroken,â you start crying even more. âOut of all people, heâs the one that doesnât deserve that!â
Jungkook doesnât know what to say. For sure, it isnât great to cheat on your partner, but he knows heâs very much capable of doing it without having any remorse. Heâs perfectly aware that he isnât the greatest guy on earth when it comes to love. Even though he has a crush on you, he isnât convinced heâd be the right one for you.
âMy life is destroyed,â you repeat once more.
The basketball player pulls you once again in his embrace. His strong arms are comforting, and you realize now that you did great by coming to talk to him.
âWeâll find a solution,â he whispers in your ear.
Little did you know at that moment that he was right. A week later, you both agreed to give your son up for adoption. It wasnât an easy decision, but it was the best one. You could feel it inside your bones.
From your roomâs window, you admire the landscape that stretches before your eyes. The view isnât the prettiest but at least, itâs something different than the tv. For the past three days, you could only be lying and sitting on your bed. Itâs been horrible.
Jungkook has been coming every day to check up on you, and youâve been talking a lot. Itâs honestly so great to reunite again and to finally discover what he has become for the past years.
Your sister has been very curious about your reunion with the father of your firstborn. She also asked if Minkyu ever knew about him. You never hid from your ex-husband the existence of your first child, but you never told him who the father was. There was no need to do so. Â
Your sister informed your parents who saved you, and they already saw him again. They really liked him when you were pregnant, so they were very happy to meet him again.
Jungkook didnât tell them that he found your firstborn, and youâre grateful he didnât because you donât even know what to do. You asked him to give you some time to process the information. Heâs been nothing but respectful.
This morning, you started walking for the first time since the surgery. It was beyond painful to even move one leg, but you bear with the pain of walking a little bit. Since the first day, youâve been having physiotherapy sessions to help with the recovery. At first, the sessions only consisted of moving your legs while remaining in bed. Now, you get to walk a bit.
The physiotherapist handed you a cane today. Itâs incredibly glamorous!
The good side is that you can now move from the bed to the chair more easily. You obviously still need a lot of help, but it gives you a bit more freedom.
Slowly, you try to stand up as you need to go to the bathroom. Right there, someone knocks at the door before entering. You expect to see the nurse since you call for her, but youâre surprised to see Jungkook. As he notices you struggling to get up, he rushes to help you out.
âShouldnât you be asking for the nurse to help you?â he asks.
âThe nurse should be coming,â you reply.
âIs it okay if I place my hands on your waist?â you shake your head.
His hands instantly reach your waist, holding you firmly while you stand up with shaky legs. Feeling his presence around you reassures you, especially with his strong arms holding you. Your eyes quickly glance at him when youâre proudly standing up, and he looks incredibly hot with his red cheeks and messy hair.
At this precise moment, you feel like your teenage self, who was deeply attracted to him. The version of yourself who had deeply fallen in love with him when you were pregnant. That nostalgic feeling kind of warms your heart.
âIâm happy to see you finally out of that bed,â a smile spreads on his face when your eyes meet.
His stare is softer now, and itâs evident that he truly means what he just said.
âMe too,â you admit. âCouldnât stand being on that bed anymore,â you laugh a little. âItâs been driving me crazy.â Â
The nurse finally arrives, but she instantly leaves as you inform her that Jungkook is helping you.
At a very slow pace, you start walking in the bathroomâs direction. Jungkook stands next to you, his hands very close to you, ready to catch you any minute.
âIâve been thinking,â you start saying as you put your right foot in front of the other. Â
âAbout?â he asks.
Itâs extremely frustrating to be walking as fast as a turtle, but thereâs not much you can do right now. Â You have brand-new knees, so you need to learn to walk with them, which will take some time. Plus, you also need to adjust to the pain these new knees cause.
âAbout our baby,â you answer.
Jungkook is taken a bit aback; he wasnât expecting you to bring the topic up this early.
âAbout Sunny,â you add.
Sunny is the nickname you gave to your son. Neither you nor Jungkook wanted to give him a name, as you knew itâd be too heartbreaking to let him go. The nickname came naturally, and it gave your son a human dimension. When you were pregnant, it almost didnât feel real that there was a human inside you since you couldnât see him.
A little smile appears on his face as he remembers how you used to call your firstborn.
âIâd like to hear the story of how you found him.â
For the past sixteen years, youâve dreamed of meeting your son one day, but it was just a dream. You never thought that itâd actually happen. Obviously, you could have done everything in your power to find him, but that wouldnât be fair to him. However, youâre now curious to hear how Jungkook found him.
âWell, maybe you should go first to the bathroom because thereâs a lot to be said,â you simply nod.
Jungkook is wearing his firefighter uniform, and it suits him incredibly well. It definitely shows off his toned chest which could satisfy any hungry eyes, like yours, for example. Any lady would like to be saved by him.
Once you arrive at the bathroom, he waits outside for you. It takes you a bit of time to pee, wash your hands, and leave the room. Itâs painful too, and all you hope for is to go through this terrible phase as fast as possible.
The firefighter helps you to sit on the chair, and his kindness warms your heart. No doubt that he makes a great life savior.
âSo, tell me about Sunny,â you say the second youâre comfortably sitting.
Jungkook takes another chair to face you, and he rests his arms on the little table placed in between you.
âI found him to same way I found you,â he looks down at his hands with a little smile on his face. âI was called for a fire in a building complex almost two years ago,â he starts explaining. âIt was early in the morning, something like 6 am, and it was a pretty big fire. There was a fourteen-year-old lying on the floor, coughing like crazy so I naturally took him out of the building.â
Jungkook takes a little break, his eyes going from his hands to your eyes. His stare is intense; it unsettles you at first.
âOnce outside, I almost felt like I was looking at you and myself at the same time,â his voice is soft. âAnd one of my colleagues even said that the kid oddly resembled me.â Â
You canât imagine how it must have felt for him.
âI instantly knew it was Sunny, but I kind of didnât want to believe it,â his eyes clearly show how sad he feels. âIf it wasnât him, it would have broken me. I was already going through shit with my ex, so it wasnât an easy time for me at that time.â
Itâs visibly not easy for him to be talking about the situation with his ex-girlfriend.
âA couple of days later, he appeared at the station with his mother to thank me for saving him. In the daylight, it was more than obvious we shared DNA. Even a blind person could see the striking resemblance, but nobody said a word as if we were all scared to say the truth.â
âThat must have been an unbelievable moment,â you whisper.
âIt definitely was,â he chuckles. âBut looking back now, itâs almost funny. I still remember how shocked his mother was when she first saw me. Sunny looked confused, but his motherâs reaction was extremely funny.â
It eases your heart to know that he looks back at that moment with delight.
âThe day after, she came back but alone this time because she wanted to talk to me.â
His right hand grabs one of your fingers to play with it, causing your heart to hammer crazily in your chest. Jungkook is incredibly nervous to be talking about those moments, and he needs to look at something else than you. Â Â
âAs you can imagine, she asked me if I was his biological father, and all I could tell her was that I wasnât sure. I then proceeded to tell her that I had a son at seventeen and that we gave him up for adoption. She naturally asked me when he was born, and then, there werenât any doubts anymore. He was undoubtedly Sunny,â a smile full of pride appears on his face. âIâve been in contact with him since then, but I donât force anything. Iâm just happy to see him.â
For a moment, you look at him with wonder. This man is evidently happy to have found his firstborn and to be able to be part of his life. Jungkook didnât really want to give his son up for adoption, and you knew it. For a long time, you considered changing your mind because it was obvious that he wanted to be a father. Even though you were in love with him, adoption wasnât about you or him. It was about Sunny.
That baby boy deserved to have a good life. Not a chaotic one where you regretted having him because he was the impersonation of your sin, or because he destroyed your life as you became a teen mom. You werenât able to give him what he needed, and it was the best decision to have a family giving him what you couldnât.
âWhatâs his name?â you ask.
Right now, you donât know if you ever want to meet your son. It already brings you so much joy to know he found his biological father. But youâre also wondering what his name is. He has always been âSunnyâ to you.
âTaemoo,â he answers.
Thatâs a pretty name. His parents found the perfect name for that little boy.
âItâs beautiful,â you say.
âNot as pretty as Sunny,â he jokingly says.
Your fingers wrap around his right hand. This is a vulnerable moment for both of you. It brings you back to a past where you were confronted with a harsh reality. Nothing was easy back then. You were ripped between your hearts and minds. The heart wanted to keep Sunny, but the mind was being realistic.
The tears shed from the day you had to give him up still haunt you to this day. The heartbreak painted all over Jungkookâs face never leaves your mind. That day was the hardest day of your entire life; it ripped your heart open.
âDo you think there was a possibility we could have kept him?â you ask with a shaky voice.
His eyes look up at you.
âMaybe,â he frankly answers. âIf we werenât that young and stupid, we could have been the parents he needed.â
âI definitely was stupid,â you shake your head.
âYou werenât,â he says without any hesitation. âYou made a mistake, but that doesnât make you stupid.â
âSay that to Minho,â you retort.
Jungkook giggles.
âI would never approach him, even now,â that makes you smile. âMy face still hurts from his punch.â
After the pregnancy announcement to your ex-boyfriend, it was pure chaos. Minho went completely out of control due to his heartbreak. Obviously, he insisted on knowing who the father was, but you never flinched. Nonetheless, he instantly understood that it was Jungkook. He had noticed how he was constantly teasing you. Â Â
So, the first thing he did was punch Jungkook in the face. The basketball player didnât even fight back as he believed he deserved it. After all, he slept with a taken woman with absolutely no regrets.
Minho got even angrier because he wanted the player to respond. He was devastated by what happened, and you could only understand him. The day after, he went to another high school, and you never heard from him anymore.
âTo be honest, yn,â he starts saying. âBack then, there wasnât a possibility to keep him. My soul wanted to keep him, but it was for selfish reasons. I wanted to be a father but couldnât be one back then. There isnât a day where I donât feel grateful for the tough decision you took and stand for. It would have been a complete disaster.â
His hand squeezes yours, and just right there, with his words and touch, you just burst into tears. Those tears just came by total surprise, but deep down, those are the tears youâve been holding back for sixteen years. Hearing about your son and remembering the harsh moments you faced when he was inside you caused reality to hit you right in the face.
Jungkook instantly pushes the table aside to hold you in his embrace. You place your face on the crook of his neck while your arms wrap around him. It feels like youâre brought back to seventeen years ago when you announced your pregnancy.
âIâm so sorry,â you whisper.
âDonât be sorry,â he responds. âYouâre going through a lot now.â
There are some words Jungkook is dying to tell you, but itâs definitely not the appropriate moment. This is already shaking you up, so no need to add an extra layer.
Taemoo would like to meet you; itâs been actually one of his dreams. Jungkook has already told him a million things about you, and your son has been beyond happy to hear all those things about you. He also got to see a picture of you when you were sixteen.
So Jungkook definitely wants to tell you that Taemoo would like to meet you, but he doesnât know if this is the right time, especially since he doesnât know how youâll react.
âSometimes I regret so much that I gave him up,â you honestly say. âSometimes itâs just unbearable to remember the day I handed him over to the adoption center.â
His strong hands caress your back in an attempt to comfort you.
âItâs normal,â he whispers. âI do too,â he admits. âThere isnât a day that goes by where I donât think about his birth and when we said our last goodbyes to him.â
You hold him tightly, his strong arms comforting you in an unbelievable way. You donât want to let go of him. All you want is to cry in his arms until there arenât any tears left.
âWe did well, yn,â he tells you. âSunny has been having a wonderful life. A life that we could have never given him,â he tries to reassure you. âHis parents love him so much, allowed him to follow his dreams, and gave him everything he ever needed.â
As he got to meet Taemoo and his adoptive parents, he can reassure you now.
âThey are adorable people,â he adds. âAnd theyâve been taking good care of our Sunny.â
Jungkook spent most of his life wondering if good people adopted his son, and he would have hated himself if it wasnât the case. But when he got to meet Taemooâs parents, he saw how great they were. And above anything, he saw how great they raised him. Taemoo is a wonderful kid with a wonderful soul.
Hearing those words definitely reassures you. It comforts you that Sunny has been doing well and landed in a loving family. At the end of the day, thatâs all you ever wanted for your baby.
âThanks,â you whisper.
The firefighter smiles while holding you a bit tighter. For a little while, you stay like this without saying a word. Reuniting with Jungkook is the best thing that happens in the midst of all the chaos your life has become. It also allows you to think about something else other than the excruciating pain you constantly feel. Â
A nurse enters your room while youâre reading one of the many books youâve had left to read for the past years.
âThere is a young man who says heâs your son. Should I let him in?â
You frown in confusion, momentarily wondering if your son has been mistaken for someone else. Nevertheless, you nod.
âYes, please,â you say, placing your book aside and grabbing your cane to keep it close, just in case.
A soft knock sounds at the door before it opens, revealing a tall, nervous teenager. Your heart stops as you take in his face. It isnât Jeongâbut your oldest son.
As Jungkook described him a week ago, Taemoo definitely looks like the two of you. Nevertheless, his resemblance with his biological father is surprising. There is absolutely no doubt that he is Jungkookâs son. You understand now his motherâs reaction when she saw the firefighter.
âHello,â he says, his voice tentative, holding a bouquet of bright sunflowers.
His hands tremble slightly as he steps inside. As you look a bit more at him, you canât help but notice that heâs dressed thoughtfully, a gesture that tugs at your heart. Â
This moment feels absolutely unreal. Merely days ago you found out about his name, and today heâs standing in front of you.
âI am Taemoo,â he continues.
As you look at this not-so-little man, you wonder what you could say to him, but you have no clue.
âHello Taemoo,â you manage, your voice soft and unsteady. âCome in,â you add.
Taemooâor Sunny as youâve been affectingly calling him for the past sixteen yearsâcomes closer with some hesitation. Heâs clutching the flowers like a shield. Despite the nerves, thereâs a quiet strength about him.
âI donât have much to offer, but I have water, cookies, biscuits, and hot chocolate. Would you want something?â you propose.
âNo, thanks,â he gives you a little smile.
âPlease take a seat,â you offer while showing the chair next to yours.
For a little moment, he hesitates before sitting next to you. Your heart is hammering in your chest, ready to burst any second. The little man you gave birth to sixteen years ago is now standing before you. The same boy you gave up for adoption merely three days after his birth.
âSorry, I didnât properly introduce myself,â he mumbles.
As much as you want to tell him that he doesnât need to, you need to hear him say it out loud.
âI am Taemoo, your son,â he says.
âHello, Taemoo,â you gently say. âItâs a pleasure to meet you again.â
Tears start running down your face as you look at him. Sixteen years ago, you were holding him in your arms while your heart was completely ripped out. You were looking down at him knowing youâd have to say goodbye.
âI⌠I brought you these,â he shows the bouquet in his hands.
Your chest tightens as you take the flowers. âThank you,â you say, your voice thick with emotion. âTheyâre beautifulâsunflowers are my favorite.â
âI know,â he murmurs, glancing at the floor. âMr. Jeon told me.â
Your heart melts; this boy definitely seems to have a big heart. More silent tears run down your face while you look down again at the flowers.
âI have to ask,â you say after a little while. âHow did you find me?â
You try to clean your face to compose yourself.
âI was in the hospital for a checkup, and I noticed Mr. Jeon at the front desk asking about you,â he explains. âI also know your name because he gave it to me when we met,â he adds.
You nod slowly, absorbing his words. It kind of warms your heart that Jungkook talked about you to Taemoo, but it aches your heart that this is how he got to meet you. You would have largely preferred you had organized this reunion.
âIâm glad you came.â
Your firstborn shifts nervously in his chair. âI wasnât sure if I should,â he admits. âI didnât know if you ever wanted to see me.â
It breaks your heart to hear those words as you picture him worried to come. Thereâs no doubt that itâs brave of him to come here. He could have stumbled upon a mother who didnât want to see him; he was for sure aware of it.
âTaemoo,â you start saying. âYou have every right to be here,â your voice slightly trembles. âIâve spent the last sixteen years wondering how itâd be to see you again.â
But you also wondered if it was a good idea to even look for him. You never wanted to shake his world up, especially after giving him up for adoption.
âI donât want to bother you,â he says. âI justâŚâ heâs quite hesitating to continue his sentence, and you nod, silently encouraging him to proceed with what he has in mind. âI just needed to see you.â
âYouâre not bothering me at all,â you reassure him instantly.
For a moment, silence falls between you, heavy with unspoken emotions. You donât add anything else as you let him take the lead. Heâs the one who was brave enough to come so you want him to say everything his heart desires.
âI have questions,â he finally speaks. âAbout why. Why gave me up for adoption.â
You swallow hard, the lump in your throat growing.
âJungkook never told you why?â you question.
âYes, he did but he never spoke on your behalf. He only gave his reasons.â
This is the Jungkook that you know, and it is very fond of him.
âI couldnât be a mother,â your voice trembles. âI desired nothing more than to be a mother for you, but I couldnât give you what you needed. I wanted you to have a life I couldnât give you at the time.â
Itâs hard to tell him why you abandoned him. Youâre not even sure he can understand your reasons.
âI was just a girl when I had you; I was your age. I was so scared, but I thought only about your future. You deserved to have a good life, to have parents who would give you everything you needed. In my mind, the best thing for you was to give you up for adoption.â
Thereâs also the part where you cheated on your boyfriend, but thatâs something he doesnât need to know.
His expression is unreadable, but you notice his hands unclenching. This might be a good sign.
âDid you regret it?â his voice is barely above a whisper.
âEvery single day,â you confess. Youâre unable to stop the tears now. âThe day I handed you over was the hardest day of my life. Iâve spent the last sixteen years wondering what youâve become, but I was too afraid to find you,â you feel extremely vulnerable in front of your son. âI thought youâd hate me.â
Taemoo looks away, staring at the floor while he processes your words. It isnât easy for him to be here and to know the truth. Jungkook said the same time. He was too young to be a father; he was a total idiot back then, and he tried to give his son the best life he could.
âI donât hate you,â he softly says, and relief washes over you. âI never hated you because I had a good life, but Iâve spent my whole life wondering if I would have had as well a good life with my biological parents.â
Youâre convinced it wouldnât have been the case.
âThanks for answering my questions,â he gently says.
Another silence settles between you, but less tense this time.
âMr. JeonâŚâ he hesitantly says. âHe told me you like books,â he says, changing the subject.
At this stage, youâre wondering what Jungkook hasnât said about you. First, there are the flowers; now, itâs the books.
âWhat are you reading?â
Youâre grateful he swifts the topic of conversation. It was heavy to be talking to him about your painful past. Smiling, you reach for the book on the bed, and show it to Taemoo. Â
âItâs one of the books I bought years ago but never read,â he takes the book to look at it.
âI like books too,â he admits while looking at the book. âMostly history, and fantasy too.â
Your heart warms as he gives you a small glimpse into his life.
âIâd love to know what youâre reading,â you say. âMaybe you could recommend me something?â youâre hesitant.
âSure,â he straightaway answers. âMaybe next time.â
âNext time,â you murmur while holding onto those words like a lifeline.
Taemoo gives you a small smile. Slowly, you reach for his hand, and for a brief moment, he freezes, then lets you hold it.
âThanks, Taemoo,â your voice is filled with emotions.
He nods with still that small smile on his face. âIf you donât mind, we could exchange numbers?â he asks with hesitation.
âYes, of course,â you smile at him, giving his hand a small squeeze.
Your phone is on the other side of the bed, so you slowly try to get up with your glamorous cane. Taemoo stands up without any second thoughts to help you out. Heâs already as tall as Jungkook; you donât doubt heâll be taller than him. You walk very slowly, and your son doesnât leave your side in case you need him.
Once youâve reached your phone, you unlock it to give it to him. âYou can type your number and save it,â you say.
Taemoo freezes when he notices your background. There are three kids, and he realizes how much they resemble him. Even though he looks a lot like Jungkook, he also takes a lot after you.
âAre those my siblings?â he asks when he glances at you.
âYes,â you answer. âI had three other kids years after you.â
âThey look adorable,â he tells you before proceeding to save his number on your phone.
He calls himself, so he can also have your number. After that, he helps you to sit again on the chair before leaving the room. The room suddenly feels empty as Taemoo leaves you alone with the flowers and the overwhelming realization that your sonâthe boy you thought youâd lost foreverâis finally back in your life.
Today, Jungkook took a day off because heâs going out with you.
Itâs not really a date âat least, that's what youâre both trying to convince yourselves. Itâs been like a week that youâre out of the hospital, and he promised heâd take you on a car ride. Even though you walk better than you did some days ago, youâre still very slow. However, it doesnât change the fact that you want to go out a bit.
For the past few days, youâve both spent a lot of time together. Itâs been great to be around you again. Things are very different now because youâre both grown-ups with kids, and thereâs a lifetime that happened since you last saw each other. But he still feels the same around you. He still has that massive crush on you.
Honestly, he thought that with time, itâd fade away, but he was wrong. He understood it the second he pulled you out of that car. Being around you brings him peace. He feels like he doesnât have to play a role; he simply can be himself.
âWhere are we going?â you ask.
âSomewhere,â he quickly eyes you before focusing on the road again.
Sixteen years ago, he knew he could never have you because of the circumstances. It was obvious to him that you loved him back, but it simply wasnât possible. However, today, things are different. He still has a crush on you, and he will do everything in his power to not let you go.
âYouâll like it,â he smiles at you.
You look at him with suspicion.
âLetâs see,â you mumble.
Since youâve been discharged from the hospital, Jungkook has been kind of scared to put you back in a car. So, for this day out, he asked you a million times if youâd be okay. You reassured him because it didnât really frighten you.
Your baby daddy has been thoughtfully thinking about the place he could take you to. There are for sure hundreds of places, but he wants something special. However, above anything else, he wants to distract you.
He has noticed how you sometimes contort with pain. Definitely, you try to hide it but he can see it through your eyes. Most of the time, he feels sorry to see you in that state. It doesnât look great at all. Nonetheless, heâs been trying to help.
Taemoo has also passed by once or twice at your parentsâ place. Jungkook has never been present because he wants you two to get to know each other without him being in the middle. He definitely wishes the three of you to be reunited, but letâs take this step by step. Itâs difficult for everyone.
âHow has it been going to come back home?â he asks.
âNot easyâŚâ you admit. âThe kids struggle to not be staying at my place, even myself.â
Unfortunately, you canât stay alone since anything can happen and you need help. So youâre staying at your parentâs place. Youâre sleeping in your old bedroom that has since been transformed into a kidâs room for your babies. Your old bed is still there, but it doesnât feel like your actual bed.
âThey cry when they have to leave with their father. They really want to stay at my parentsâ place with me, but itâs already very crowded.â
Your sister still lives with your parents, sheâs only 22; sheâs still very young. Well, she refuses to let you call her young because, at 22, you were getting married to Minkyu.
âThey understand the situation, but it doesnât change the fact that itâs hard for them.â
Jungkook nods as he can only imagine how this situation feels for everybody. Hopefully, things will slowly get better, and youâll be able to recover quickly.
âI donât like to complain, but itâs already physically hard, so seeing them like that makes it harder,â you admit.
It leaves you wondering if it will be like that until the end of your recovery.
âThen, itâs a good thing I take you out for a little bit today,â he smiles, trying to change the conversation.
âIt is,â you smile at him.
Itâs warming your heart that he has been very present for almost a month. There hasnât been a day where he didnât visit you, even if it was for five minutes. You feel lucky to have him during this tough time; heâs been quite a comforting and reassuring presence.
After maybe half an hour, you reach a parking lot from a park located on a high hill. Itâs a park you and Jungkook terribly loved. Youâd come here towards the end of the pregnancy when you couldnât sleep.
âSo, what do you think?â
âI like this place,â a bright smile grows on your face.
âI know,â he says.
This is definitely very thoughtful of him.
Jungkook leaves the car to help you get out of it. As you think you are going to walk for a bit, the man just holds you in his arms, one of his arms under your back, and the other under your legs. You instantly wrap your hands around his neck. Your faces are pretty close, and all thoughts are shut down by the irresistible desire to kiss him.
âSince thereâs a lot to walk before reaching our spot, itâs better if I bring you there,â he confesses.
âAlways trying to play the superhero,â you mumble.
âEeh, Iâm not,â he straight away answers. âIâm just trying to make your life easier.â
You roll your eyes while giggling.
âI can let you walk if you prefer but donât blame it on me afterward,â he says while slowly pretending to put you down.
âOkay, okay,â you retreat in defeat. âTake me there.â
A smile grows on his face before he starts walking in the direction of your spot. Itâs a bench where you have the perfect view of the city. At night, itâs wonderful as the buildings are lightening up. You spent many nights here sixteen years ago with your head on his shoulder, and your hand on your belly. Sunny would kick quite a lot during those moments, and Jungkookâs hand would rest on your bump to feel his son.
You were young and stupid, but definitely in love at that moment. A month before your sonâs birth, you shared a passionate kiss on that bench. It was a highly desired one. You shared other kisses afterward but they never felt like that first one.
Surprisingly, when you reach the famous bench, nobody is sitting there. Usually, back in the day, that bench was always occupied during the day, only being empty at night.
âIt almost feels like you booked the bench,â you chuckle.
âI could of,â he answers. âBut I donât have the means.â
Jungkook sits you down on the bench before taking a seat next to you. Gently, he grabs your legs to place them on top of his. Heâs aware of how painful it can be for you to have your knees bent. At least like that, they are almost flat.
âThanks for bringing me here,â your eyes look at the handsome firefighter instead of the pretty view.
The man only offers you a gentle smile, and the two of you now look at the city stretching before your eyes. It is very different than it was sixteen years ago. The city has grown bigger, some buildings were replaced by others or some even were destroyed. Everything is different while still being the same. Like how it feels to be around Jungkook. Â
âCan I ask you a question?â Jungkook breaks the silence between you.
Your eyes look back at him, and his expression is unreadable.
âSure,â you nod.
âWould you have given us a shot if you hadnât gotten pregnant?â he asks with some sort of hesitation.
The questions catches you by surprise as it is the last thing you thought heâd ever ask.
âTo be honest, I donât know,â you say. âI was feeling so guilty about what I did to Minho, I felt stupid, and I was avoiding you.â
Well, he felt that.
âI avoided you because I really adored what happened with you,â you say. âYou were really good in bed,â he smiles at your words. âBut I looked at you differently because I got pregnant.â
Sixteen years ago, you never had a conversation about your feelings for him. But it definitely looks like youâre having it now.
âYou were by my side every second. Youâd cook whatever I was craving, youâd be at every appointment, youâd hold me when I cried, youâd do anything when I was in pain, and youâd bring me here when I couldnât sleep.â
Your heart is beating fast as youâre about to pronounce the next words.
âI fell in love with that Jungkook,â the firefighterâs heart is also hammering in his chest. âNot with the jerk whoâd flirt with me.â
His cheeks are getting red with shyness. After all these years, and even though he knew his feelings were reciprocated, he feels like a teenager falling in love for the first time.
âWe were two when we conceived Sunny, so I naturally had to get my shit together and be by your side and help you as much as I could,â he says. âI was for sure a jerk back then, but Iâd always assume the consequences of my actions.â
His heart is hammering faster as he takes his courage to speak out loud about how he has been feeling about you.Â
âI also had a crush on you so I also saw that as a way to spend more time with you,â now youâre the one blushing.
Anyone observing this scene from outside would instantly get how smitten you are. The person would even bet that youâre together.
âDo you still have a crush on me?â you question.
Youâre way too curious, but you definitely want to know because damn, youâd kiss that man right now.
Jungkook gets closer to your face, his hands moving to your thighs to caress them. Not in a sensual way.
âWhat would happen if I say yes?â he whispers when his face is extremely close to yours.
âYouâll have to find out,â you teasingly say.
His eyes move from your eyes to your lips as he desires nothing but the same as you. To kiss you.  Â
âYes,â he says without any hesitation. âI still have a crush on you.â
You bite your lower lip before breaking the small space between you to fervently kiss him. Having his lips finally against yours feels like a relief, almost as if youâve been waiting sixteen years to feel them again.
The kiss is shy at first as if youâre both scared but it slowly turns into a desperate and fervent one. One of his hands goes to the back of your neck while the other remains on your thigh. Your hands cup his face while you intensely kiss each other.Â
This feels like heaven for you two. You open your mouth, giving him free access to it. His tongue doesnât hesitate one second to find yours. Gently, your tongues meet and it feels wonderful. Inside of your lower belly, thousands of butterflies are freed. Never have you thought that this would happen again although youâve thought about it since reuniting with him.
When youâre both out of breath, you break the kiss and rest your forehead against his. For a moment, you simply look at each other while you catch your breath. Jungkookâs fingers softly caress your face, and you close your eyes to savor this moment.Â
âIâve dreamed of this since I found you again,â he admits.
Jungkook presses once more his mouth against yours. A soft moan leaves his mouth when your lips meet. He wants to keep doing this forever. He teasingly bites your lower lip which causes a moan to escape your mouth. A devious smirk appears on his face but he gets back to kissing you fervently.
Before the kiss takes a very dirty turn, you break it. âIt isnât the appropriate place for that,â you whisper.
He giggles as he realizes he was ready to take it to the next level in a public place. The firefighter presses a gentle kiss on your lips before you resume to admire the view.
After a couple of hours, he takes you back to your parentsâ house. Your mind is filled with euphoria from the kisses you shared earlier, and you canât help but smile every time you think about it. Kissing Jungkook still feels the same. It still tastes like heaven. Â
When youâre home, you notice nobodyâs here which is a bit weird, especially since you warned your parents youâll take a shower today. Maybe they went for a walk since you were with Jungkook.
âWould you mind staying a bit?â you ask. âI need to take a shower, and I wouldnât feel comfortable alone.â
âYeah, no problem,â he says.
Jungkook assists you until you reach the bathroom and grabs underwear, a bra, pants, and a shirt from your bedroom.
âYouâre sure youâll be able to be by yourself?â he asks with concern.
âI have a stool and everything I need has been placed at the stool level,â you explain. âSo donât worry.â
Jungkook canât help but feel worried. Even if itâd be weird to be in the bathroom with you, heâd feel reassured.
âIf I need anything, Iâll call you,â you add.
Thereâs not much he can do, except to leave you alone.
âOkay,â he presses a gentle kiss on your lips before leaving.
You sit on the stool to get undressed. To remove your shirt and bra, itâs quite easy, but to take off your pants and panties, itâs a whole other story. Your mother has been helping you a lot with the shower part, and youâve been feeling like a five-year-old who canât do much by herself.
The last two showers, youâve been able to do everything by yourself, and youâve been very proud of yourself. However, right now, youâre struggling a lot. Itâs frustrating you beyond comprehension, but you remind yourself that you need to calm down otherwise, itâll only be worse.
After a little while, you simply resign and call for Jungkook. He arrives in a rush, and his heart breaks a little when he sees your defeated face.
âStruggling?â he asks when he notices your pants stuck at your knees level.
âI canât push them further than that,â you pout.
He walks in your direction, kneeling before you. âLet me help you.â
His hands carefully push your pants down and throw them onto the floor. Then, before even touching your panties, his eyes look up at you, asking for your consent. Even though you called him for help, he wouldnât want to cross any line. Consent is important, after all.
You simply nod, you donât have much of a choice here. His fingers brush against the skin of your hips, causing goosebumps all over your body. Last time he touched you there was the day you conceived Taemoo, sixteen years ago. Your eyes are frozen on him.
Jungkook grabs the hem of your panties to push them down your legs, his fingers brushing against your hot skin. Youâre now fully naked in front of him, and it feels incredibly weird although he already saw you like this. But at the same time, it feels reassuring to have him here with you.
âDo you want me to help you wash? Or would you be fine now?â he asks while standing up.
âHelp me please,â you almost beg. âNot sure Iâll be able to wash if I canât even remove my clothes,â you laugh a bit.
You try not to cry at this whole situation. Itâs better to laugh at it than cry.
âOkay,â he turns the water on. âYouâre going to wash your hair?â
âNo, no,â you answer. âJust my body.â
The man in front of you nods and hands you the showerhead.
âLet me know when it is too hot,â he tells you.
Youâre holding the showerhead with one hand while the other is below to check the water temperature. In the meantime, Jungkook removes his socks in order for him to get inside the shower.
Once done, his eyes look at you with admiration. For almost a month, youâve been going through hell with everything that has been going on. Youâve been handling things like a champion even though itâs sometimes very clear youâre suffering terribly. He has nothing but admiration for you.
His heart swells with happiness because, in the midst of all that, you chose to let him be by your side. He even got to kiss you.
âItâs good now,â you tell him with a smile. Â
Jungkook grabs the showerhead to run it over your body. He carefully executes the task while being extremely focused on not forgetting any body parts of yours.
âWith my mum, we always do the intimate parts at the end,â you inform him.
âNo problem,â he answers.
Once your body has been fully covered in water, he seizes the shower gel.
âDo you want to do it?â he asks with the gel in his hands.
Usually, with your mum, you do it, but with Jungkook, youâll gladly let him do it. You really want to feel his fingers touch your body.Â
âCould you please do it?â he nods.
Jungkook understands that you simply want to feel his touch, and he wonât complain as he desires nothing but to touch your soft skin.
There is nothing sexual about this moment. The two of you would even say that itâs a very intimate moment, even more intimate than sex.
The man covers your entire body with soap before holding back the showerhead to clean you. Once done, you stand up so you can clean your last body parts, which are your vagina and ass. This time around, you want to do it yourself as you feel like it could take a naughty turn if he touches you down there.
Jungkook leaves the shower. âWhere are the towels?â
âIn the storage cabinet below the sink,â you inform him.
Seconds later, when you cut the water, he wraps you in the towel before you sit back again on the stool.
âThanks for your help,â you say.
As you slowly wake up, you feel a warm presence behind you which is something not normal. Since youâve been back from the hospital, youâve been sleeping alone in your old bed.
Then, you start remembering what happened yesterday. After the shower, your parents arrived and were very delighted to see Jungkook. A bit later, your sister came from work. Your parents naturally invited him to stay for dinner.
Once dinner was over, you practically begged him to stay the night. You then went to your room, and watched âEnola Holmes 2â, but you instantly fell asleep with your body pressed against his, your head against his chest. Â His heartbeat was the little melody that rocked you to sleep.
Your eyes adjust to the light in which the room is immersed. You turn around to see Jungkook sleeping like a baby, and he looks absolutely adorable.
In this quite big bed, it seems like heâs so far away from you as he isnât close to you. Thereâs a distance between the two of you that makes you smile; you know he purposely put that distance. He respects you way too much, and he wouldnât do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.Â
You turn again before closing your eyes to remember what happened yesterday. It was an intense day, but intense in a good way. As you remember the kisses you shared, you run your fingers over your lips. He still kisses like a god. Â
Yesterday, you felt so much alive. You didnât feel that way for already a couple of years. Hopefully, this is a feeling thatâll stay longer. You donât want it to fade away so soon. Â
Suddenly, the bed moves behind you. A big hand carefully wraps around your waist while a mouth presses a gentle kiss on your shoulder, and a body snuggles up against yours. Instantly, your eyes close to savor this precise moment.Â
Both of you snuggle together for a little while, just enjoying the closeness of your bodies together. Waking up with someone and with his arms wrapped around you is something you havenât experienced in a while. The last time it happened was when you were still married to Minkyu.
âGood morning, sunshine,â he whispers with his hoarse morning voice before pressing a sweet kiss on your neck.Â
Goosebumps rise all over your skin because this is a beautiful way to wake up. Damn, you wouldnât mind waking up every day to this.
Jungkook feels your shivers beneath his hand, a smirk growing on his face. It feels like a victory to have already made you feel this good so early in the morning. Â
âMorning, Jungkook,â you whisper.Â
Naturally, your back arches, pushing your ass back to meet his crotch which makes him groan against your skin. Your cheeks instantly turn red and you push your ass away from his intimate parts.
âSorry,â you say.
Jungkook also feels a bit embarrassed that his little friend down there is already all turned on. But what can he say, he spent the night with the girl of his dreams.
âIâm the one whoâs sorry,â he whispers. âIâm already all turned on.â
Since youâre still flustered, you donât dare to turn to look at him. Heâs also grateful for that; he would hide his face in the pillow if you ever look at him.
âItâs not a bad thing,â you say. âI mean, itâs normal.â
âI know, but itâs awkward for both of us,â he answers.
For a moment, you donât say anything as you try to find your words.
âIâm actually flattered,â you break the silence. âWasnât expecting to turn someone on this early in the morning.â
Jungkook gets closer to you once more, his hard member pressing against your ass through his underwear. That feeling alone causes your walls to clench around emptiness. You also bite your lower lip to repress any moan that might escape your mouth. Youâre at your parentsâ house, anyone could hear you.
His arms wrap around your waist once more before he presses another kiss on your neck. A very soft moan manages to escape, causing Jungkook to feel some kind of pride. His fingers slip beneath your shirt to caress every part of your body with his cold fingers.
Your back arches at the sensation while one of your hands goes to his head, your fingers running through his hair. Your other hand goes to your mouth to muffle the sounds of your moans. You donât know exactly what time it is, so youâre not sure if thereâs somebody at the house. To be safe, itâs better not to moan like a mess.
Then, his fingers move down on your body, pushing your pajamasâ pants and underwear together. The cold air that brushes against your core makes you grow wetter. Thank god you have your hand in your mouth because thereâs no doubt this would have made you moan.
His fingers slowly get closer and closer to your bundle of nerves. By the time his fingers reach your clit, youâre already completely soaked.Â
âSomeone else is already all turned on,â he whispers in your ear before licking and nibbling it. âTell me what you want, sunshine.âÂ
The simple fact that he asks what you want is a big turn-on. Men tend to forget that during an intimate moment, it isnât all about themselves and their pleasure. Itâs about two people trying to give and have pleasure.
Your back arches a bit more, rubbing your ass more against his semi-hard cock. A deep growl echoes against your ear. Your mind is going completely crazy. Thereâs one thing you desperately crave right now: him inside you.
âYou,â is actually the first word that crosses your mind. âYou inside me with your hand on my throat,â you clarify.Â
Well, the only time you had sex with Jungkook, it was pretty wild. You both discovered how much you adored having his fingers tightly around your neck. It gave a totally other dimension to the sex. It was even more intense, and you loved it.
âYouâre sure?â he still asks to be sure.
He doesnât want to cause any more pain.Â
âAbsolutely,â you reassure him.
Your eyes close when his free hand finds its way to your neck, his wonderful and delicate tattooed fingers wrapping around your throat. This feels wonderful, and it gets you wetter.
As you feel a moan ready to leave your mouth, you sink your teeth into your lower lip. Thereâs no way youâre going to muffle all your moans. This is already too wild for you, and you know itâs going to get even wilder.
âIâd give anything to see the way you look with my hand around that pretty neck of yours, sunshineâ he whispers in the shell of your ear, his deep voice emphasizing the word âsunshineâ.Â
With your eyes closed, you can perfectly picture the way his hand fits on you. Jungkook can imagine it too, causing chills to run through his skin.Â
While his hand caresses your neck, the other one does wonders to your clit. The torture is exquisite, nothing feels as good as having his hands on you. His hand works harder on your core to make you wetter. The man is already desperate to give you what you want. Him inside you.Â
Once he feels youâre wet enough, his fingers leave your pussy alone to pull your leg up a bit, this way will be easier for him to push his cock inside you. Quite rapidly, he takes off his underwear.
âAt any time, let me know if I hurt you, okay?â he whispers with evident concern.
âDonât worry, Kook,â you say. Â
His lips pepper the back of your neck with kisses. Your hand goes behind to stroke his cock a bit before rubbing it for a little while against your soaked core.Â
âShit, yn,â he groans against your skin.Â
You bite your lower lip because, damn, itâs fucking hot to wake up to this.
As you feel him growing harder in your hand, you decide to push his length into your heated core. Your pussy sucks him all in, his head stretching you open as he goes further inside you.
âYou always feel amazing,â he hisses once he bottoms up.
Small and barely audible moans and whimpers leave the two of you as you both enjoy feeling your bodies connected. Jungkook doesnât move for a few seconds, giving your body time to adjust to him.
Itâs been a while since you last had sex together, and Jungkookâs cock tends to be quite big. That was for sure something youâd never forget. How could you? If you compare to all the dicks you experience, heâd be the biggest.
But it isnât the kind of big that makes it painful. Itâs actually the opposite. Youâd say that his dick is simply perfect.
âMove, Kook,â you give him a small slap on his ass to urge him.Â
You need him, in ways you canât even express.Â
The man doesnât need to be told twice before he starts thrusting into you very slowly and deeply with his hand still around your throat. The slick sound of your pussy soaking his cock as well as the creaky bed quickly fills the room.Â
Jungkook takes all his time, he isnât rushing anything because damn, he wants you both to enjoy this moment. His lips stay on your shoulder, pressing soft kisses to avoid moaning. His other hand holds your leg up while he rolls his hips in a way that you absolutely adore.Â
The hand on your neck and his dick deep inside you are the perfect combos to make you come in a snap. None of you speak, only enjoying this torrid moment.
The man behind you feels that heâs slowly losing you, that youâre losing yourself further in the pleasure that only he can give you. So, he lightly tightens his hand around your throat to help you reach your orgasm faster.Â
âFuck,â you swear as his fingers wrap tighter around your neck.Â
This is more than bliss for you, you could just come right now because of his hand but you donât want to let go of your orgasm. You want to let it grow immensely until it becomes too overwhelming for you. You want this orgasm to be like an explosion of fireworks inside you.Â
âYou take me so well,â he whispers before bringing your face closer to his to press his lips against yours. Your walls clench around him causing his cock to twitch inside you. A guttural groan leaves his pretty lips, a groan that you happily swallow. Â
Wanting to bring him closer to the edge, you start moving your hips in circles while he keeps thrusting into you at a very slow and torturous pace. His lips leave yours, his eyes close shut, and barely audible moans keep flooding out of his mouth.   Â
âKeep doing that, yn,â he pants.  Â
His cock goes deeper inside you, filling you up fully and hitting all the right spots which causes the pleasure to grow stronger within you. Your moans are harder to suppress, it feels good to be railed by Jungkook this early in the morning. Morning sex is honestly one of the best types of sex.
He groans deeply against your ear, your orgasm building stronger and stronger. You know that in a matter of seconds, youâll be coming undone, and Jungkook senses it too. Your hips never stop moving in tandem with his but as you get closer to your high, your walls squeeze him harder.Â
As he gets lost in the euphoria of the moment, he starts thrusting more harshly. Both of you are chasing your own orgasm while bringing the other closer to the edge. It doesnât take you too much time to be fiercely hit by that overwhelming wave of pleasure, making you come undone around his massive cock.Â
âJungkook, fuck!â you cry with ecstasy, your hips stopping completely to move but the man behind you never stops moving.Â
âCan I come inside?â you simply nod, barely able to make a proper sentence in the middle of this euphoric state.  Â
Both his hands move to your hips, gripping them tightly as he releases his thick load inside you. A lewd moan escapes your mouth when he pumps his hot cum inside you, pushing it as deep as possible inside you.Â
For a little while, both of you stay in this position, his hands still holding you tight against him while his cock remains inside you. None of you wants to break this moment but you have to since youâll need to leave the bed. Â
Very slowly, you remove yourself from his cock to stand up from the bed. âCan I ask you to help me put on my underwear and pants?â you ask.
Without hesitation, Jungkook stands up while grabbing your clothes. As yesterday, he kneels before you to dress you. A smile spreads across your face as you look down at him. This man is, without any doubt, the kind of man you want to have in your life. Heâs been nothing but a sweetheart with you.
âThanks a lot, Jk,â you say once fully dressed.
The man carefully spreads your legs to situate himself between them.
âNo problem, sunshine,â he presses a gentle kiss on your lips.
âAlso, Iâd like to mention that I take the pill,â you mention with a silly smile on your face. âSo we wonât have any other surprise kid.â
Jungkook smiles and kisses you once more.
âIâm glad to know that,â he whispers against your lips.
Still fully naked, he stands up to assist you to do the same. Once youâre straightened up, you take the glamorous cane. At the same time, Jungkook puts his clothes back on because thereâs no way heâs going to leave this bedroom naked. Itâd be way too embarrassing.
This impressive man helps you go to the bathroom and, then, to the kitchen. At first, it seems like thereâs only the two of you since you donât hear any noise. However, to your surprise, when you reach the kitchen, you find your sister sitting at the table and eating breakfast.
âGood morning,â you say with evident joy.
âOnly good morning to you,â she snaps back.
You frown with confusion. Your sister looks you dead in the eyes, totally ignoring Jungkookâs presence in the same room.
âI really didnât need to know how you two conceived your first kid,â she explains.
Both you and Jungkook open your eyes wide; you werenât expecting that at all. But there were chances that someone would have heard you. Itâs definitely weird your sister was the one. You wouldnât want to hear her having sex with someone.
âHopefully, this time around, there wonât be any other kid,â Jungkook manages to say. Â
Your sister laughs a bit. âI like this one,â she takes a sip of coffee. âHe seems better than the other ones, and heâs also a lot hotter than them.â
Jungkook starts laughing as he helps you to take a seat.
âSheâs funny,â he whispers to your ear.
âDonât be silly,â you tell your sister. âAnd please, go find a guy so you donât drool over mine.â
Although you havenât defined your relationship for now, heâs flattered you consider him as âyour guyâ.
âHow can I compete with a firefighter?â she teases. âAnyone will feel boring next to Jungkook,â she adds.
âIf you want, I can introduce you to my colleagues,â he suggests.
âDonât encourage her in her nonsense,â you tell him.
âYes, please,â she says with enthusiasm.
You roll your eyes. Sheâs unbelievable and definitely very crazy, but thatâs maybe why you love her so damn much. Â
After that, together with Jungkook, you prepare breakfast while speaking with your sister. She leaves a couple of minutes later because she needs to meet with her best friend downtown. And right after her, Jungkook leaves you alone in your parentsâ house which breaks your heart. However, you donât stay very long by yourself as your kids come to visit you with their father.
Three weeks later
You and Jungkook are sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant. Your heart is beating fast with nervousness.
âEverything is going to be fine,â he tries to reassure you while resting his hand on top of yours.
âDonât know,â you mumble.
Today, youâve organized a dinner with Jungkook and Taemoo; your first time as a family. Itâs weird to even think about it, but Taemoo really wanted to spend some time with you, together. Since he proposed this, youâve been feeling very nervous. Youâre a bit scared of how things will go when youâre finally the three of you together.
âThereâs no reason for this to not go well,â he answers.
Before you can even answer, Taemoo joins you with a bright smile on his face. Like the first time you met him, heâs very well dressed.
âHello,â he says. âI brought you these,â he hands you a tiny bouquet composed of three sunflowers. âItâs one sunflower for each of us.â
Your heart has completely melted now. This kid is so damn thoughtful, just like his biological father. His parents definitely raised him well, and it only reassures you that the decision you made sixteen years ago was the right one.
âHello, Taemoo,â you say while standing up to hold your son in your arms. âThanks a lot.â
Your firstborn wraps his arms around yours. This is a heartfelt moment; being able to hug him fills your heart with so much love. It feels like holding Jiwoo even though you didnât raise Taemoo. Unfortunately, you canât hold him for a long moment due to your wonderful knees. So he then greets Jungkook before taking a seat in the empty chair.
âThanks for accepting this,â those are his first words.
Although he seems very happy and relaxed, you notice heâs a bit stressed.
âAfter seeing you separately, I really wanted to spend a bit of time with the two of you,â he starts saying. âNot sure how this will evolve in the future, but Iâd like to sometimes organize this kind of diner.â
For the past few weeks, your life has drastically changed, and honestly, sometimes, you feel like itâs too much. However, having Jungkook and Sunny back in your life is what you consider to be a blessing. In all this chaos, you found two deeply important people that you left sixteen years ago.
The sixteen-year-old version of you was devasted to part ways from them two, thinking that youâll never see them again. If she could see this today, the heartbreak would have been less painful. But that version of you is beyond happy today to see the three of you sitting at the same table.
This car accident destroyed your knees and stomach, but it has brought you Jungkook and Sunny. All of this would not be happening without this accident.
You also canât wait to see your three other little munchkins with the man you love and their older sibling. Undoubtedly, that day will be the most wonderful day of your life. Now, you feel like you can finally truly be happy. You now have all the people you need to be happy. Â Â Â
#bts#bts fanfic#bts imagine#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagine#bts fluff#jungkook fluff#bts angst#jungkook angst#bts smut#jungkook smut#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#wait for your love#spideyjimin
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the art in this was so fucken good. the back cover hell hounds were collage, i think? i don't know, they ruled. i'm probably gonna thin out all my RP books some day to make space in my tiny home, but this one stays.
Man, Palladium RPGs exhaust me. In a good way, but still, exhausting. This is the first edition of Beyond the Supernatural (1987). Players take various sorts of psychics who then investigate supernatural mysteries that can fall anywhere on the horror spectrum, from farcical to gruesome.
As with most Palladium games, there are at least two truckloads of rules too many. The main innovation here is Potential Psychic Energy (PPE) which is how Psychic Character Classes (PCCs â it wouldnât be Palladium without lots of abbreviations) do their thing. Itâs basically a point system for any sort of mental powers or magic and replaces the D&D-derived spells-per-day style systems that were in TMNT, Palladium Fantasy and other games up to this point. PPE and the underlying psychic/magic systems would become an important component of Rifts. A fun section of source material tackles Ley lines and sites of power that will also be important for that later game (and is, along with the bestiary, which includes a lot of unusual monsters from non-European traditions, is the most fun section of the book). I tend to think Palladium games are too complicated for me, and I definitely think this one is too much for horror (and too combat oriented). YMMV of course.
So much amazing artwork, though. A cover by Richard Corben? Hell yea! Kevin Long was still pumping out illustrations for Palladium at this point, but this is one of the rare times I think heâs out-shined â Steve Bissette contributes a ton of work to this book, and it is all grimy and shadowy and full of toothy danger. Itâs hard to compete with a master.
#love bts#even tho the system is bad#i like the system too#probably still wouldn't use it#but it's fun to ponder
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#words#sad thoughts#childhood#inner child#ruined childhood#trauma#life qotes#life lessons#life#literature#young love#self love#eldest daughter#middle child#dark academia#depressing shit#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing thoughts#lana del rey#ariana grande#bts#bts army#dark aesthetic#poetry#love quotes#bangtan#relationship#love#happiness#i hate this
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fatima aamer bilal, from i mother it the absence of her, iii. i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time excerpt from moony moonless sky.
#fatima aamer bilal#i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time#i mother it the absence of her#poetry#literature#poeticstories#art#book quotations#poetry collection#web weaving#words words words#writings#yearning#longing#parent issues#bts#self deprecation#taylor swift#franz kafka#sylvia plath#lana del rey#mahmoud darwish#jane austen#dark academia#dark poetry#pheobe bridgers#mitski#lit#abandoment issues#fantasy
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HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN + the 'Obi-Ani' lightsaber spin
Hayden came up with a move when we did the second film that was like your move, like signature [âŚ] for me it always felt like your move because he was really good at it. â Ewan McGregor
#swedit#starwarsedit#star wars#anakin skywalker#anakinskywalkeredit#hayden christensen#haydenchristensenedit#hchristensenedit#swcastedit#sw bts#usershale#starwarsblr#flashing tw#*mine#*2023#*gifs#10k#the way he can make the spin slow or fast...#this is the THIRD set I've made on this move someone stop me (I love it so much)
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HYBEâs thirst for money
The stark reality is that HYBE and Bang PD are completely driven by money at this point. Â It was bound to happen, considering where Bang PD began with BTS. Â Humble beginnings to put it mildly. Â
Bang PD has been bitten by the âbugâ, and his thirst for more and more is reflected in the choices he is making as a music mogul. Â Itâs reflected in the way heâs playing the âgameâ with the big boys and the way he is cowtowing to the almighty powers-that-be, behind closed doors. Â
They know exactly what they are doing. Â They know that ARMYs all around the world will spend every last penny(or coin) of their hard-earned income to âsupportâ BTS. Â People will buy and buy, and buy more. Â People will go to all the labels out there that appoint Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin, Hobi, Jimin, Tae, and Jungkook as âBrand Ambassadorsâ, and SPEND THEIR MONEY. Â All because of the naive belief that it benefits the guys. Â
{Sorry not sorry here.....} They KNOW how to milk the money cow, and they will continue to do so. Â They will milk it and milk it, and never look back. Â They will never take into consideration that there are ARMYs out there who cannnot afford that concert ticket, or that tee-shirt, or that newly released album, BUT THAT ARMY WILL SPEND THEIR MONEY ANYWAY because they think it benefits BTS.
Yes I have spent my money on some items on Weverse. Â Iâve done it because Iâll never have the opportunity to see them in person. Â Iâve done it to somehow feel a part of the community. Â Iâve done it when I couldnât afford it because it somehow made me feel a tad closer to the guys. Â
When they announced the âDirect Messagingâ service that was coming and that it would be a paid service, I knew what it was. Â I knew that they are doing it not because it actually gives ARMYs a chance to âmessageâ the guys, but because it was another way to MAKE MONEY. Â Think about how many people will actually pay for that! Â It is insanity. Â Pure greed on the part of HYBE.
With all this being said I will add one more thing. Â I DO NOT believe that BTS in any way is a part of this and I donât believe that they are driven by greed. Â They have enough money to live the rest of their lives without working. Â I just want to be clear here so no one misunderstands my words. Â
We as a buying power/ARMY have choices. Â We can choose to continue to give our hard-earned (I work to support myself completely) money to the machine(HYBE), OR we can use our power to make a statement. Â
For this ARMY, the buck stops here.Â
#bts#bangtan and army#bts army#save your money#it doesnt benefit bts like you think#bang pd greed#sorry not sorry#stark reality#squeezing more money out of army#love bts#i support bts#the buck stops here
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