#if youre not bleeding out theyre useless

[lunarflare64]

Love being in so much pain we consider going to the ER

[amsgrey]

I judt found this draft/idea thing in my drafts from over two years ago (written before Little Sister Hugs) and i genuinely cracked up so much rereading it bc it would be really funny.

would anyone be interested in this?

Jay and hailey are busy with a case involving drug trafficking with military dudes or smth

you and will go out for dinner bc you get like n A+ in science or some shit and Will is all proud older brother

you get a call from Jay that the case is ramping up so he wont be home tonight and then ur like lit ill stay at wills i just gotta grab some stuff

you and will walk in and the house is like a mess and your like uh wtf

and will is like ok let me call jay or the cops or whatever

before he can he gets like smacked from behind like all those stupid movies

ur like o shit what the actual fuck

these big old dudes are in all black and holding like riffles bc intimidating and ur like :o

and ur standing in the kitchen so you do that really funny grab for the closest weapon and its like a pan that was waiting to dry or something entirely useless

theyre like yeah ok sure put it down u dimwit

u like stand over will being like feck off my brothers a cop

theyre like ha lol yeah we know we tryna find him where he at

ur like ha what i dont know? wouldn't have a clue

and theyre like ok then u come with us and ur like uh no sir

omg what if they chloroformed them that would be the funniest trope ever

jay is like workin the case being all undercover n shit and then he gets a call and its wills phone and hes like oh what did y/n do

will is like silent

jay is like yo whats up u alg

OR WHAT IF ITS LIKE WHAT THEY DID TO SAY WHERE THEY JUST SEND LIKE A SUPER FUCKING ANGSTY SHIT QUALITY VIDEO OF THEM LIKE BEATING WILL WHICH IS SUPER FUCKING NOT FUNNY BUT IS FUNNY TO IMAGINE THE UNO REVERSE FOR JAY

Jay immediately looses his mind and tries calling u like wheres will tf

obvi u dont answer and hes like this aint right

the team go to jays house and its all like torn apart but nothign like bad?

they call in the lab and the labs were like oh hey there's blood but they cleaned it? or smth

jay is spiralling and then they get anoter video of u? idk something else angsty

theyre like release our dude and give us back all the idk like guns and shit and voight is like ok well no way they let us do that

jay almost going cowboy cop

everyones like well this is great

you are like locked up by zipties bc criminals are stupid and you manage to like breakfree like a real mvp

u like find a gun or smth bc thats fun and free will

your all like well theres enough warehouses n creepy buildings in chicago for u to be anywhere so tf where we at

wills all leave me bc thats a funny trope and ur like shut the fuck up u dumbass

some military dude comes round the corner with his gun and sees u tryna walk with dead weight will and hes like? what are-

you shoot him bc badass bitch

he like fall down is all bloody and ur like o shit i just killed a man

will is like ya we gotta go ok like this shit serious fam

you walk around a corner and they all be sitting around in the big room and u and will are like oh hi guys

they all like point guns and ur like ah man we dead

but then!! intellegence is all out ur guns on the ground now! police things!

one of them like aims his gun but someone shoots his gUN bc i think thats the badassest thing ever and then he like has a bleeding hand and grabs u and knife to the throat thing bc trope central over here

no one has a clean shot so they all like omg dude let her go

do u get like seriously hurt? lowkey imagine like them dying and jay and will being like a mess ok thats way too dark but i like?

you either

die

get seriously maimed like idk loose a limb or smth idk

or ur unharmed and are like omg how am i not even bruised tf is this

depends on the level of angst idk

if anyone wants to ready this lmk i might actually write it

[404-art-found]

I know this is your art blog, but I got one question about the Masked for ya!

At one point is a host no longer suitable for a Mask? How important is blood to the process?

I love getting asks about masked!! I have lots of thoughts about their biology

SO

A mask can't really choose its host. it's pure reflex to possess the wearer. and a mask can't move on its own (though I love the headcanons people have that they can skitter around), so a mask is stuck with the body it has until that body wears out. holding up a mask to your face takes longer, because the mask is storing energy to lash out and take root into the face all at once. a masked turning someone else into a mask is a much faster process because the blood melts the face into a soft slurry that's easy for the new mask to burrow into

a masked is very sturdy and alters its host's body to better suit its needs. it doesn't feel pain. the blood is completely fine inside its body but at certain chemical triggers it boils and eats through flesh and bone. it pushes the body to its limits to chase and move. it will keep walking until the cartilage in its joints rots and the bones lock up and the muscles turn to slop in its body.

the very purpose of a masked is to make more masked, so that's why they produce so much Juice, to make the masking process fast and simple. even if a masked is fully rotting away and can't stand, it's still Full Of Blood, and would drag its decaying body to the nearest employee to still attack. a host becomes "unsuitable" as soon as the masked can't ambulate with it, but it'll still stay attached to it, even if very loosely (a masked's roots will start to die near the end of the host's use, for easier detachment)

if a host's use isn't cut short, and is allowed to decay fully, there is a point where it is a functionally useless body festering on the ground with severe internal bleeding, waiting for a scavenger animal to come eat it and dislodge the mask so the cycle can start again.

theyre neat <3

[gaybellethorn]

i started listening to the first shannon hale eah book on my walk earlier and it's so good. hale you mad bitch <3!!!!!!!

raven being a swiftie (taylor quick........obsessed) and apple being a directioner ("you don't know youre charming" in universe pointing to the real life charming family. CRAZY.)

apple keeping a basket of candy and coins at her bedroom balcony to throw down to her adoring masses PLEASEEEEE . all her kingdom management classes amassing to this she's so FUNNY.

relatedly, how frustrated she gets at the end of her first chapter that people are only gonna grade her on being a good snow white based on how pretty she is and not on how hard she's studying to be a good ruler. very very juicy very interesting characterisation very interesting take for a snow white character. but also. the chapter starts with her naming the dwarves by derogatory nicknames ("my name is frank," pouty said poutily) and the narrative itself superimposing her names onto them in the dialogue tags. SO FUCKING GOOD. APPLE YOU SILLY BITCH.

hale's distate for apple's dad bleeding into the description i looooove it. "keeping a hand on the hilt of his blade as if ready for battle at a moment's notice, but of course he had never been in battle. his only claim to fame was falling in love with a comatose woman in a glass coffin in the woods" damn hit him again for me!!!!!

BUT this coming from apple's pov???? EXQUISITE!!!!!! god that's so fucking INTERESTING and really doubles down on her looking up to her mam and wanting to be the best ruler she can be, because no one's gonna help her out later! i haven't gotten to apple interacting with daring yet, but that's gonna be such an interesting lens to read their relationship through as well if she considers his role in the story like. repulsive!

also just an interesting contrast to raven's relationship with her parents, where she loves her dad and wishes her mam wouldn't belittle him in their convo. oh sidebar there was a description like, raven's mam did love her, in her own way. hope was like a sticky syrup and raven wished she could drink it down just one more time. auggghhh ravennnn :( <33333

back to apple, i liked the little detail about snow having this squeaky high pitched voice, and apple musing that being stranded in the woods with the squirrels may have done a number on her. i think she gives a length of time there, either weeks or months? i hadn't considered that being part of the snow white legacy, that's interesting ! especially after thinkng of her dad as a useless bum ass nobody like 😭

looooove getting raven's introspection around her mam. the mirror scene at the start is so so good. ugh then when she's talking to apple and she notices how slouchy and unkempt she is next to her. and she tries standing properly but she knows she comes off as too tall, too gaunt comparatively. and then she reprimands herself like 'stop comparing yourself to her, that's probably how mom turned out the way she did' AUGH ? that being the first indicator that raven can understand how that path unfurls in front of her, how she could easily take those same steps. sooo juicy

also looove her relationship with baba yaga so far. it's really interesting that baba yaga is compared/contrasted to raven's mam, i wanna keep an eye on how that relationship develops

baba yaga using an actual spray bottle on raven when she starts voicing rebel thoughts PLEASE‼️ raven grumpily looking into the princess' advisor office (run by the white queen! cute detail) where theyre given tea and plush chairs and noticing that there isn't a spray bottle in sight. MWAH.

oh ! and the detail about it being maddie who asks raven point blank "if you weren't destined to be the evil queen, you would...?" as part of this wonderland word game that she doesn't think anything more of, but raven is left speechless because she's never been allowed to consider it before. really sweet moment between them! :)

im like an hour into this 6.5hr audiobook. the voice actor is doing a wonderful job, i really like her voices for raven and apple in particular so far. i definitely wanna keep going on it! i will listen to it on walks i think :^)

[walnutcookie]

sir i humbly request rambles about misfortune and more cappuccino hcs

perhaps some body horror doodles as well if you feel comfortable

i adore this au please spill your guts to me and i will feed on the titbits i find

also may i make fanart of this misfortune au thing (sorry not sure what to call it)

misfortune moment PART THREE!!!! ramble under cut :]

part one here

part two here

rbs ok!

misfortune knows exactly how to inflict the most amount of misery in someone.

heres the thing. if it just kept beating its host while theyre down, the host would eventually grow a tolerance to the pain and simply become numb. that means that it cant get any more misery out of its host and it would have to find another one.

So! it allows the host some joy. In cappuccinos case, it primarily involves his vacations :]c before she actually knows what causes all of the bad things in his life she just knew that Everything was always bad and miserable unless she was relaxing. while she was working, things would constantly injure her, nothing would stay organized, and bad things just kept happening one after another, but on vacation everything seemed to be just fine!! Great even! shes just able to surf or relax or nap and just ENJOY things instead of being hit by falling lights and bookshelves. even though every car shes ever been in has crashed hes always been safe on planes. of course its not all sunshine and rainbows because she can hardly even enjoy the break when he cant stop thinking about how AWFUL its going to be to go back to work

BUT!! the point is that her days off are like the ONLY times that he finds peace. Which is partially why hes so eager to catch another break!!! misfortune lets her have these lovely days but also uses it as an opportunity to make bad things happen during/right before her breaks so that theyre cancelled or cut short and shes filled with disappointment<3

this is also why it let langue into cappuccinos life ! of course it could EASILY just kill them but cappuccino was already getting a little too miserable and was far too adjusted to all of the bad luck in his life already so langue was the perfect solution to that problem. And also created misery all on their own like the longing cappuccino feels before they actually get together. And now that cappuccino has langue in her life and theyre someone who makes her so happy misfortune is able to cause harm to them/mess with cappuccino's plans of meeting them and just cause more distress :]c

of course that plan backfired when langue managed to weaken it and make cappuccino's life decent enough to the point it was forced to leave OOPS!!!!

but yeah ,,, i dont know i just love messing with this thang. too much misfortune is bad because then the host will adapt so it has to be a little lenient so the person doesnt feel completely and utterly hopeless >:] and in the event that the host does become useless to it then it simply posesses them to commit crimes and just cause misery to other people than the host before exiting the body and leaving it to bleed out and die

OKAY WHOOPEEE thats all i have to talk about right now i hope this is at least somewhat cohesive im kindof tired right now . BUT WOO RAVEN TIME!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK IT WAS SO SO FUN TO DRAW ANS ANSWER /GEN AGHH hope you enjoy the drawings as much as i enjoyed making them X] ill likely put them in a seperate post since im really proud of the first one and i kind of want it to be in a post of its own agahsbfkhf

ALSO IVE ALREADY ANSWERED THIS BUT YESS ABSOLUTELY !!! I WOJLD ABSPLUTELY LOVE TO SEE FANART AUAGHHFF <333 YOU ARE SO SWEET !!!

if anyone has any further questions/comments feel free to shoot me an ask ! X]

[magnaaurantiaco]

(sorry for rambling i just love talking about blood)

I MEAN i agree with the “no gender on ID” but having blood type is kinda useless and/or dangerous. even if youre a cop or a firefighter (at least here they have nametags with their ABO) if youre bleeding and it CANT wait 40 mins or so youre GONNA get an Oneg, im not about to trust a tag with a test i didnt do myself (its like 15 min to find out someones ABO).

Ive had patients with abo tags and it was wrong twice, ive had pregnant ppl on their third child who just found out they should have gotten RhoGAM bc their first test said they were Opos and just showed the results at the next pregnancies and the drs accepted it as true but when their kid needed an exchange transfusion we found out the person was actually Oneg and that almost killed the kid

the uncertainty makes the transfusion safer, imo

BUT of course, it could point out that the person who drew the blood took it from the wrong person, it could happen specially if there are multiple patients with the same name, or if the nurse isnt affiliated with the bloodbank (at least here our own techs draw the blood, but not all places are the same)

having a blood history would be useful to speed things up if you need like, 4 bags (its not really wise to waste Onegs, so we would send only the first one, maybe two depending on the bleeding), but i trust only other bloodbanks info for that, if i have access, and the following bags do NOT get distributed without the proper tests (to get an Oneg the Dr is aware of the risks of a transfusion without the tests and has to sign a term, they understand the risk but understand that the situation asks for as little time as possible)

tho! it could also be good if the person has a history of conditions like sickle cell anemia, some blood cancers, or if they in a transplant list! these people need Very Special blood and just matching their abo isnt ideal, we have over 40 subgroups of blood, the ABO is a separate (and certainly the deadliest) system we prioritize but if an O donor is a perfect match for a B+ patient theyre FOR SURE getting that O and we are marking that donor to invite to donate in case theyre needed

the one other situation i can think of is if theyre a bombay (hh) phenotype. It happens because the A and B antigens are always connected to a H antigen, but hh people dont have the H (and therefore, dont have A or B, so in OUR tests they would show up as O!) They can only receive from other hh, and theyre very rare depending on where you are >:0 So, in an emergency, if we dont have a history of the patient, we would give them Oneg and that would be very very dangerous, we are literally being misled with our tests bc they dont point out the lack of H. Because theyre so rare, we cant stock up on hh blood :( , so here the rare donors are marked as well and if we know they CANNOT get a transfusion bc of that, we advocate for alternate approaches (a little like JWs) at least until we can get in contact with those donors but other than that they could live their entire lives without knowing they have such a rare bloodtype :0

of course, im talking about my own experience, i work mainly with syckle cell and cancer patients and they regularly need transfusions, hh phenotype is something i never actually met at work, so it WOULD be useful to have these things on an ID as much as it would be to have a tattoo of drugs youre allergic to (the answer is very! very useful)

but yea, much safer to give Oneg at first than to trust a piece of paper. Donate if you can! Each donation can save up to 4 lives and we are so very grateful for our donors!

(also dont be discouraged if youre AB, only other AB can receive your red blood cells but we use the plasma for babies bc you have no A nor B antibodies, how cool is that! (THE ANSWER IS VERY COOL))

Sorry for rambling i just really like blood lol

this started as a joke but then i started actually thinking about it and now im really annoyed that IDs have this one letter that doesnt mean anything for cis people and is a huge pain in the ass for trans people when we could instead have literally lifesaving information so emergency medical services could just check ur wallet to see which blood to give you so you dont die or whatever But No

[angelguk]

OMg angst thoughts for jock couple...one of them (probably oc) most likely got stood up for a date bc jk has trainings so oc goes on a spiral thinking abt what if theyre just in this relationship cos its comfortable for them and like theyve known each other the longest and maybe theyre dating bc of some twisted ver of stockholm syndrome n oc gets all 😔😔💔😡 and starts ignoring jk for some time

i have been mulling over this for awhile (i think you also sent a follow-up angst ending but lets set the scene first shall we)

pairing: jock!jk and oc 

warnings: angst, poor communication, oc being insecure and jk being clueless (and kind of an asshole)

soundtrack: antidote by gas dapperton 

(titled — bite the hand that feeds the heart)

You’ve tapped your phone on roughly ten times now, narrowed eyes staring at the time with each lighting of your screen. Every minute that ticks by sinks deep into your heart, clawing something open there, ribs struggling to keep your feelings contained. But you can feel them swelling at the brim of your gaze, eyes blinking harsh under the subdued tawny glow of streetlights. You kick you shoes against the ground to speed up time, pressing your back into the hard brick wall behind you, searching for some sense of support. Even with your mindless excursions, the time still drags on, shifting from ten to fifteen to thirty idle minutes waiting for your lover. 

He turns the corner the second you decide to give up and go home.

“Hey!” Jeongguk’s hair dances in the night wind, delicate curls lifting gracefully. “Sorry–sorry! Coach kept us late for a team meeting and then Yoonoh wanted to borrow my notes and then I found out I had an essay due which I had no ide–”

“It’s okay.” You cut him off with an iciness, kicking yourself off the wall, your dark sweater coddling your frame. Autumn was seeping in, once vibrant green trees falling into hues amber and gold. This was your favourite season, the slow quiet onset of winter warming your heart. But that feeling is absent now, your face sent in a scowl as you trudge towards the nearest convenience store, eyes focused on the bright white luminescence of it not bothering to check if Jeongguk is following you.

You can’t see it but he’s staring at the back of your head strangely, lips twisting down with concern. 

When he grabs your arm, easily linking it with his, you nearly shrug him off. 

“Hey,” Jeongguk tries, tone ginger. “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to be late, but today was he–”

“You could have texted.”

“I��I I know, I just for–”

“It’s fine, Jeongguk,” you snap, finally giving into the urge to shove him away. “It’s fine. You just keep doing this and I hate it.”

You steady walk forward is interrupted by him yanking you back, twisting you around to face him.

“Doing what? Is it my fault that I’m busy all the time?”

“No,” you spit. “I understand that. But you keep thinking I’m just gonna be around waiting for you forever, Jeongguk and that’s not fair!”

The sigh that drifts from his lips irks you. Like you’re the inconvenience to him when all you’ve done is rearrange your world to fit him at the centre. 

“God what is your issue? I’m late a couple times and suddenly I’m the villain?” His eyes are hard, jaw set like this has been stuck in his throat for a while and the words are ecstatic to be let out. 

“Literally fuck off,” it’s there already, the edge you’ve been slipping on since this all started. At first it was a quiet worry, mulling at the back of your head, but lately, ever since Chayoung opened her big fat mouth it’s grown louder. Insistent to be heard, demanding to break this gentle thing in your hands. “You’re being a dickhead right now.” 

“Me?” Jeongguk huffs. “You’re the one complaining about something useless.”

“Useless? My time is useless to you?” 

You see it flash in the honey of his eyes, quick enough that you might have missed it had you blinked. “What the hell is this about?” Jeongguk whispers. He’s reaching out for you, hands looking for an anchor. “Why are you so cryptic all the time? Why can’t you just tell me what the problem is?”

Maybe he’s right, because you’re not being honest here. But admitting it to him means admitting it to yourself and you’re too afraid to do that. Too afraid to lose the most precious thing to you, to your heart. 

“Cryptic? If you even fucking listened to me for one sec–”

“I do!” Jeongguk returns, eyes narrow. “You just say things and never mean them.”

That gets you, heart stopping dead in your chest. You suddenly wish you could take it all back; the kiss on the rooftop of his apartment, the nights you spent in his bed learning the taste of him, the murmurs of love you’d left on his skin. Because did they mean anything? Did you even truly love him?

That question burns in your head, splits your heart right open, bleeding through the cracks of your ribs. 

“You should go home,” you finally murmur. Jeongguk blanches, doe eyes wide. 

“What–what? Y/N what the hell are you talking about?”

“Go home,” you repeat, twisting your head away. You can’t look at him cause if you do you’ll cry and you don’t want Jeongguk to see you like that. He grabs your shoulder, you rip his hand away. “Go home, Jeongguk! I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

For second there’s a moment of silence, you take it and start walking forward, up the to convenience store.  A whisper in your head tells you he’ll follow, force you to talk to him, share the secrets mauling your heart. But then you hear the scrap of his sneakers against the pavement, fading away instead of drawing close. You walk until you’re at the top of the hill, frame illuminated by the stores bright lights. You look back then, hoping he’s still there. Your gaze finds an empty road instead, copper leaves skipping through the breeze. He’s gone, left you alone to drown in this, like the louder voice in your head knew he would.

[tzawa-1y]

ummm homestuck au isnt dead until i say it is (never)

i rlly didnt want to post this but then realized i never post enough without just keeping shit in my pockets. and then i wrote a long ass infodump and now i have two (lazy asf) drawings for em

these two r eating my think pan infodump time

rainbow homestuck troll gore below

@nicosbrainrot thank u <33333

alsooo ummmm lore explaination <3333

Copying from discord because im lazy, i will try to explain things for the greater than degenerates <3 rlllly angsty shit

so the setup for these two ooooh man

for any needed contexts, Hoshi in this au is a purpleblood. Highest ranking land dweller, in a society that revels in useless unnecessary violence. Basically, he kills people below him for a living, and is like a celebrity for it too. But, even without that, purples are quite well known for murder and killing, and one look at this scarred as fuck purple with murder in his eyes you should prob run like, whoever you are-

Ikuto is a mutantblood. Lower than the lowest. Like, never show Anyone what color your blood is, you will be killed on sight.

And thats exactly what happened.

so long ago but not actually that long ago actually, these two first met <33 yippee!!

ikuto was getting Damn Assailed by some highbloods, like, these mfs saw a mutantblood and saw murder. Ikuto barely managed to escape through some woods, about on deaths door.

but he runs into hoshi like DAMNIT,, like he's already injured & bleeding so it's basically on display "Hey I'm a mutant!" so he just like accepts his death.

but hoshi sees this dying little man and goes "ooh pretty" and takes him home with them.... and because purples are about 10000000x more resilient hes just like "oh its just a little booboo" meanwhile ikuto is Going To Die.

but once hes patched up hoshi decides "actally im gonna keep him"

i cannot stress this enough their relationship in this au is at such a power imbalance. like. hoshi could gently place ikuto outside and he would be killed. this shit toxic asf.

hoshi basically keeps ikuto in his basement forever now. and its kinda? good? because like, ikuto now has permanent shelter and protection from a very powerful highblood, but also, like,,,,,, ikuto cannot leave. if he wanted to. like now he got hoshi incredibly overprotective & ikuto is kinda just stuck with him. just trapped in this guys basement forever.

but! hoshi loves him very much and spoils the fuck outta his boyfie. they will bring him! so many gifts! and ensure that this basement is the coziest place ever for him hangs out with him all the time and will never let even a whisper of harm come to him. its still fuckin risky but,, hoshi loves him. the one big thing is just like. ikuto cant leave. the kid is still just. kinda lonely :(

but relatively? even if theyre afraid, theyre happy.

but then someone hears about this cool new "sgrub" game.

And suddenly, word gets out about Hoshi, high standing purple attracting attention from three fuschias, being in a secret redrom (romantic relationship) with a mutant, and hiding him in his hive.

drones are sent to his house & havoc insues. hoshi is tryinna find and save ikuto, his massive lusus (dragon dad) is also freaking out and kinda tears the place apart even more. in this calamity ikuto is discovered by the drones while theyre trying to enter their sgurb session.

the drones are Out for ikuto. like. he is going to die. They desperately are simultaneously trying to enter their session, their only real hope of escape. Theyre slamming through trying to get through the progression quickly while fending off drones, which fortunately their server player (doesnt matter) is attentive enough to get them through.

But in the havoc, Hoshi is dead focused on trying to keep the drones off, meanwhile Ikuto prepares the actual session. In this he gets beat. Beat bad. And soon enough hoshi just. Cant even stand. Cant protect ikuto. Scared for the little guys life but literally incapacitated and about to die himself

but fortunately hoshi was just able to hold off just long enough so that Ikuto could get the two of them out of there even while hoshi is on deaths door, but once they enter the session they are Separated and neither know that the other is even Alive

all hoshi rlly knows is that he couldnt protect ikuto forever

and all ikuto knows is the dying body of hoshi behind him as they escape sure doom.

anyways, i love em like a loooot <3333

[slashersins]

slasher’s reaction to there s/o getting taken or held hostage

part one | part two | 

part three will have : jacob , martin , and carrie . 

@motherthoty  asked: Could you do a slasher reaction to there s/o getting taken or held hostage? I just gotta know man 😖

bubba saywer

held hostage

bubba is a soft man , he knows this , he’s gentle , bubbly , excitable . but right now he feels anything but . right now he’s not your sweet boy , your good boy , your big soft bubby . the gentleness he shows you is gone , replaced as he stares down a wild eyed woman slashing out at him , her hand fisted in your pretty hair , tugging it so hard it makes you cry . and each cry , each tug of hair , each swipe of the blade she wielded has a animalistic fury tearing at his chest .

there’s a primal , feral noise ripped from his throat , one that is followed by the revving of his chainsaw as he brings it to life . the woman falters her face terror stricken , but that’s not the look bubba wants to see on her face . he wants to see pain , he wants to see her suffer for making you cry . she let’s go of you , and you crawl towards bubba , looking up at him , but he doesn’t see you . he sees a threat to his family and he takes off with thundering steps and speed .

like a bull charging towards a matador , bubba bellows out a roar , the woman screams , stumbling back . she doesn’t make it to the ground , no . bubba is too fast , too angry , too destructive to let that happen .

the revving , rusted , sharp blades cuts through her stomach in the same way a bull’s horn impales the matador . but so unlike the bull , bubba doesn’t toss the woman off , no , the blade presses though , her screams cutting the air the same way he cuts through her spine . blood sprays down on him as he jerks the blade up , ripping the woman in two with a grizzly display of animalistic strength .

he’s not done . not satisfied as he brings the saw down again and again and again , mutilating an already mutilated corpse . he’s roaring , bellowing , unleashing noises unlike anything he has before as he finally raises his chain saw in the air . he’s huffing , panting , as he lets the chainsaw die in his hands , dropping to the ground near torn remains .

he turns , taking a step towards you , drayton , nubbins , and chop top . his brothers jerk back and away , unsure if he’d lash out . but one look at you and bubba is falling forward , crawling to you and he takes you into his arms . gone is the feral beast . this is your bubba , your love , your gentle sweet man . his bloodied face rubs against your own , staining your cheek . you whimper , bubba whimpers , and soon the two of you are clinging against each other , neither carrying about the way blood stains your skin . bubba babbles at you , hands fluttering over you , safe - you’re safe .

billy loomis & stu matcher

taken

this wasn’t supposed to happen . how did this fucking happen ? how did that useless , good for nothing , mother fucker figure them out ? maybe they’d been too sloppy . maybe he just knew too much fucking movie trivia and guessed their next step before they took it . maybe he just accidently decided to fuck with the wrong people . either way , randy took you . ‘ rescuing ’ you from them . that’s what he said . that’s what he said in his attempts to grow a pair as you shouted at him on the other side of the phone .

both of them were seething . stu deathly quiet , too still , eyes wild and a twisted smile on his lips as he breathed harshly through his nose . he looked to billy , smile faltering as the other stabbed his knife into his bed , roaring out in fury and cursing randy for his idiocy . stu didn’t need to speak , billy felt him looking at him , his eyes snapping to him . he’s on the other in an instant , hand gripping his hair as he tugs him closer , foreheads touching . they gonna find him . theyre gonna find him and kill him . slaughter that little bitch and get you back . get you back where you belong , with them . stu nods , panting harshly as he hold’s billy’s face in his hands . it’s a needed moment before they part . they have a bitch to kill and a babe to get back .

a stolen car , knives at the ready , speeding down roads with lights off . they don’t know where you are , but it isn’t hard for them to find out . randy’s sloppier than he thinks , and how ironic is it to them . if they were in the mood , billy might smirk at where randy tried to run away to , stu might even let out a giggle . but instead , stu screeched to a halt in front of the video store , billy jumping out before the car stopped and making his way inside .

the fucking idiot forgot to lock the door . stu is behind billy in a matter of seconds , and they walk in only to hear your muffled shouts , drowning out the familiar ring of the bell as they stride in . it’s a deadly calm between the two of them as they make it to the back room . stu is right on top of billy when the door opens , barely able to keep from rushing forward at the sight of randy shaking you , griping your arms and shouting in your face .

don’t kill him . it’s a direct order , one stu nods to as billy steps to the side , stu rushing forward with his knife ready . randy hasn’t let go of you when the first cut of the knife lands on his skin . but you’re soon released as the gash delivered ruins the use of your kidnappers arm . billy puts more distance between you and their prey as he circles the stu and randy , watching how stu jabs and cuts deep , missing vital organs , slicing so close to arties that could leave randy dying quick .

he shouts , he screams , he begs you for help - and that . . . that was crossing the line . billy steps in , knife under his neck as stu pants and laughs , murderous and manic . taking you was the wrong choice . it’s his turn now . and his punishment is violent with his rage as he brings his knife down . each stab hard and deep , purposely missing his heart , he wants randy to suffer . he wants . . . he wants him to bleed out .

much like a discarded , broken toy , billy and stu turn their backs on the twitching body on the floor . the gurgling pained noises filling the quiet as they both stand in front of you . knives drop to the floor the moment either of your arms wrap around their necks and you pull them into you . they know you’re shaking , know you’re confused , know you’re scared . but they’ve got you . billy grips you tight and bruising , whispering harsh promises of affection into your ear . stu is nuzzling your face , pressing kisses over your cheek and biting over your shoulder to keep from sobbing .

vincet sinclair

taken

vincent stalked forwards , each step held purpose , both hands held his maliciously crafted blades , each exhale controlled . just minutes ago he’d been letting broken furious noises leave him , in an almost switch of personalities bo had been the one calming him down , promising that they would find you .

lester had ran the truck off the road , driven after them through the woods , chasing them with headlights beaming as the men ran back towards ambrose , dragging you kicking and screaming with them . bo followed vincent from the back , knowing he’d have no part in the slaughter . much like lester , the elder twin would be making sure the men didn’t run off .

each scream that tore from your throat echoed in the air , each one had vincent twirling the blade in his hand . there would be no figures made . those worthless men who took you , who thought they could steal you away , would have their lives ended and they’d be forgotten about buried deep in some pit of rotten animal carcasses . swiftly or not , he hadn’t decided . another scream , another step closer to you .

they broke out of the tree line in a panic , the roar of lester’s truck and high beams backlighting them . one of them is sprinting ahead , looking over his shoulder and shouting as the one further behind drags you by the back of your shirt , you stumble and fall , and he keeps pulling .

vincent doesn’t wait . he takes off , swift on long legs , fast silent strides . the first man is running towards his death and he doesn’t even know . just as he turns his head forward to see where he’s going vincent is raising his blades . he runs into them , the force of it slicing his throat and the quiet rage from vincent cutting his head from his body . he never had time to scream or react . and bo is there to jerk the body to the side , clearing the way so vincent can move forwards with ease .

the second man , he decides , will suffer greater , even if only for a few seconds . he’s not looking , just like the previous man but so unlike the previous he is bent over , too busy struggling to drag you across the grass . it’s a perfect position . with force vincent brings his backs down , digging into either side of his neck . he chokes , hands reaching back to try and claw the knives away . his fingers and spinal cord are severed as vincent gives the blades a jerk as if they were scissors . and he falls to the side , limp and lifeless and twitching as his broken nerves give their last .

he’s still , eye moving to you as you lift up , looking up at him . his name leaves your lips and vincent finds himself dropping to his knees where the man dragging you had once been . it’s a moment of weakness , a moment of relief as you reach for him . your fingers push his mask away , and vincent doesn’t fight it . his normally calm face is twisted in concern and worry and anger . he leans forward , arms wrapping around you as you pull his face close , laughing and sobbing and safe .

bo sinclair

held hostage

bo was regretting letting you play any role in the town . he was regretting letting you act like some shop keep to sell snacks to his future victims . he was regretting not keeping you locked up in the house no matter how many times you told him you were stir crazy . if he had kept you in the house like he’d wanted then he wouldn’t have to be looking at you as some sobbing bitch stepped on your back to keep you down .

the closer he got the firmer she pressed on your spine . and like a vicious cycle , the cry of pain you made added gasoline to his explosive temper causing him to step closer with a dark predatory look . get away . i want to go home . i’ll break their back i swear i will . let me go home . i don’t want to be one of those freaky wax figures ! bo only smiled in that sadistic way , sure of himself way . she wouldn’t be a wax figure . no . bo would make sure of that . the bitch would be too hideous when he was done with her for vincent to repair .

stop ! stop coming closer - i - i mean - i - she was weak , spooked , and bo knew it . she’d tried . oh she tired to keep you to save your skin . but bo knew you were made of tough stuff , so when she took off running down the streets of ambrose , bo didn’t stop to check on you , he went hunting after her .

bo worked , finger by finger , knuckle by knuckle were clips off while bo sat on her chest , suffocating her , smiling down as he dolled his punishment . she’d stepped on you like you were trash , so her feet were pins and needles . or well , screw drivers and drill bits . there was no mercy , no care . it should have taken hours , but he was furious and eager . it only lasted minutes before bo dragged her towards the edge of town and tossed her corpse in the road for lester to get rid of in the morning .

he finds you laying on his bed on your stomach , ice on your back . more than likely vincent brought you up , and he’s thankful for that . for a moment he feels like shit for not going to you first . but how could he have left that bitch to vincent after what she did ? moving closer , bo brushed some hair off your cheek . tired eye gaze up at him , a soft smile spreading on your lips . he laughs when you ask if he got her . he only nods , responding that you were more trouble than you were worth . but it’s a lie , you’re worth all the trouble in the world . for now though , he tells you to shut up and sleep . he won’t be leaving your side any time soon .

lester sinclair

taken

you’d been beating on the glass when the car he’d just towed in this morning peeled out of ambrose . it sent fear though his entire body , igniting a terrible emotion he’d never felt before . if he hadn’t been sitting in his truck scouting he would of been in a worse of a state . but with is truck he could at least take after the bastards that thought they could up and steal you . ambrose was supposed to be the safer place to stay , lester felt like shit for ever thinking it as he damn near shoved the pedal through the floor of his truck , leaning up and out of his seat as he let out terrified sobs and strings of broken curses .

he wasn’t the fighting type , he knew that . he could give good in a scrap , but he wasn’t like bo and vinny . fuck , did they even know ? he couldn’t even pause to give them a holler on the radio , no , any moment taken away from watching you beat on the back of the window , trying to claw at him as the little car swerved and speed through back country roads might give them the advantage .

seemed that jonesy knew what was going on , barking and snarling at the car pawing at the dash violently .  between the two of them somehow , lester was gaining on them , knowing the back roads better he made the choice to cut through a wooded trail , not giving two shits about how banged up his truck got , he just had to make it through and cut them off .

it’s seems like hours and seconds all at the same time . lester’s truck busting through the trees in front of the speeding car . his truck flips , tossing him and jonesy in it before it stops on its side , the car spins hitting a ditch front first . he’s banged up , jonesy is too , but he doesn’t care , neither does his dog as they both burst from the truck , taking off towards the car .

someone’s crawling from the wreckage . it isn’t you , and the fear and rage at you being taken by them has him taking his hunting knife and hitting the stupid soul in the back damn near twenty times . he only stops when jonesy starts barking like crazy , and when you starts crying for him .

he’s petting jonesy , sobbing and telling her good girl for tugging you safely out of the wreckage , you’re banged up , but safe . and he blames himself but all you say is thank you and cling to him . you both stay like that , hugging and hurting and bleeding over each other . it’s how bo and vinny find you , how they decide all three of you need to go to the hospital .

bo bitches and complains the entire time , lester with a concussion and a broken arm , jonesy with some bruised ribs and cuts but other wise fine , and you with a dislocated shoulder and beat and bruised to hell . vinny only asks that next time safer recovery measures are taken , but he’s happy to play nurse to the three of you . and lester . . . lester is just hell bent on keeping you safe in his cabin , not letting you go . broken arm or not , he’s still gonna hold you like he might of lost you .

& don’t forget that you can buy me a ko-fi if you wanna leave a little more love ! tho , honestly … i prefer tea … hmmm .

[haemosexuality]

anybody else have issues

sometimes im like eh i dont care but sometimes im like im going to Throw up. from. the guilt

[musubiki]

heres a bit of a lore dump regarding the “mechanics” of spells and potions in tcwg, and what i mean when i talk about how mochi needs ingredients to create spells and potions!! i think of it like an rpg cuz it helps me figure out how magic works here

- everything in the world has some inherent powers or “magic properties,” so when you combine them it creates different spells and effects, and this is what the witches refer to as “ingredients”

- a witch is given magic, and is a magical creature that is able to draw out the properties from within the ingredients

- in order for a witch to use a spell at will, they have to first brew the spell using the correct ingredients in a cauldron. after its made the first time, think of it as being “unlocked” or “added to the magic inventory” - the witch can use it whenever she needs. when its created, it is “absorbed” into the witch!! theres a process to this, and if youre not careful the spell will be backfired and placed on the witch for a short time (like the lovebites), but absorbed nontheless

- if its made anytime after this, the brew can be put in bottles/jars/containers as a potion - most refer to it as “magic in a bottle.” these can frankly be used by anyone who can get their hands on it, including non-witches and humans so witches have to be careful about it

- some spells are harder to handle/use than others. think of it as a witch having a set stamina amount, and using spells uses up that stamina!! some spells drain more than others. because of this, KNOWING a spell doesnt necessarily mean you can use it yet, as you might not be strong enough to take it yet

- potions are a one-time use and have 3 different types: the kind you drink, the kind you smash, and the kind you drip. drinkable potions generally have a similar but lesser effect if it simply comes into contact with your skin. smashable potions are more for AoE attacks, small range around the user, and dripping potions are especially potent and is usually applied to large areas (like a big body of water or a grassy plain). these are harder to use in combat cuz they take longer to take effect!!

- witches also create their own spells with unique ingredients, and record them down in spellbooks for future generations!! these are the books that mochi is always reading and studying!! she spends her free time making these spells so she has a bigger range of magic to use

- mochi also makes her own spells!! but after thousands of years of magic, all the practical, cool, and useful spells have already been made. most are learned/brewed/absorbed within the first week of being a witch so you have all the cool magic basics down. everything after that is very niche, rarely used in most situations, obscure, and straight up useless.

- the first week or two of spells is cool things: the energy/magic weapons, floating spell, summoning spell, the kinds of cool things you typically think of doing if you had magic!! the longer you make spells, the more you get into “spell that turns all left socks into right socks,” “spell that makes someone bleed out of their eyeballs but its harmless i swear,” “spell that (temporarily) clears all ink from the paper in a room* (*see note: about 5 mins, then they return)” that kind of useless junk!!

- and mochi is no exception. her only noteworthy spell right now is something like “spell that removes all crinkles from foil food wrap” or something. theyre running out of ideas, we give them a break.

- so mochi is always looking for new spellbooks that end up in old bookstores, or in a dumpster, or a yardsale, cuz you never know what kind of spells they have in there and hey, its useful to have everything down just in case.

- making a new spell is a lot of trial and error, you put in different ingredients, sometimes it ends up as something someone already made. even the smallest difference, like adding 2.20 ml of brisk iced tea instead of 2.19 can result in a different spell. if its one you didnt know yet, cool add it to the list. if you knew it already, cool its just another potion. if it works out that no one used that combination yet, great!! you just made a new spell that can clean the headlights of cars!! or something

- (i know its hard to keep track and statistically every combination would eventually be used but for convenience sake lets not think about that and keep it simple)

- its worth noting that its not necessary to keep track of EVERY spell you ever learned!! when using it, you dont need to recite the exact title and memorize who wrote it, where it came from, etc. its more about being able to use whatever comes to your mind when you need it!!

- a lot of the “core” spells are also flexible. a shield spell doesnt just make one type of shield, its fairly dynamic that the witch can use her magic to adjust it to how she wants after she made the original spell, and even modify it once they already know it into a way they like!!

thats all for now!! in the actual story we dont delve this much, mochi just uses magic and we dont talk about where it came from/how she knew how to do it, she just does it!! hope that makes some sense idk if ive talked about it before!!

[midasgutz]

elfen lied manga was such a fuckin trip. did i dream that shit up ? who allowed the dude who made that to just write all that shit??

i need to talk about elfen lied because this shit has been living rent free in my head for over an actual decade. significantly longer than a decade.

im glad that i can now accept that media i consume doesnt necessarily say anything about me, because. jesus, every inch of elfen lied is a war crime. every panel.

the coolest character who was generic tough military dude, who right when you meet him makes a point of punching a secretary just for standing behind him. and then goes out to find and kill a 17 year old with abandonment issues. and gets his shit kicked in and his arm ripped off and his eyes plucked out. and so, naturally, he trades his testicles for some dope robot eyes. for the sake of all humanity. oh and a really mediocre robot arm that he can actually break if he puts too much force into like anything. and so naturally he then finds a 14 year old homeless girl, who helped him while he was bleeding out on the beach. and of course he beats her up and, possibly kicks her dog. and then he gives her his number. uh, so he can come help her if anyone tries to... beat her up? because he cant owe her anything. and then she says something he doesnt like so he beats her up again and she shows him the paper he wrote his number on and says "someone scary is screwing with me". he storms off after that but doesnt take the paper, he still owes her. he makes good on it too, she gets in some bad trouble with a bad bad dude later. a bad bad dude with a trenchcoat whos basically just a vampire hunter, crossbow included but actually he's here to hunt teenage girls with horns, not fangs. the crossbow shoots hard metal balls with velcro spikes that have a toxin on them that causes excrutiating pain. this guys a bad bad dude, and he miiiiiight be suggesting he's gonna rape this 14 year old girl but it could be the unfairthful translation causing confusion. probably not tho the author of this series is majorly fucked in the head. anyway robocop shows up and he puts his boot right down this dudes throat so thats like whatever. that panel was my desktop wallpaper for like 6 years. we find out that 17 year old girl is evil because some kids killed her dog with a vase. so she blew them up, and after that she goes around blowing people up just to eat the food in their fridge and hang around the crib for a minute. so shes framed as the good guy and robocop is evil this time and they fight again and she does kill robocop this time which sucks because theres a good portion of manga left and no one else is as interesting as he is. he dies on the beach where he lost his eyes and his arm and lets be honest he basically lost his balls at the same time.

oh. and theres a girl who does peepee in her diaper a lot. and she can sing. i dont know why she was there but i mean every other fetish the author had already made a fucking appearance so why not lmao

theres also like. some main characters. theyre complete shit. these include a normal boy. his cousin who is the most annoying character in the fucking world. she is literally just "im only here to pad the amount of love interests our generic main character can have all at once" the character. yeah man, his cousin? cause shit why not. why not, its japan, do as the romans do. also theres the alternate personality of the 17 year old. shes only here so that evil 17 year old girl can be a love interest not once but twice, and i mean, conveniently shes often naked. makes sense, when the only word you can say is "milk".

and then there's Nana. Nana is a quad amputee after evil 17 year old girl ripped all her limbs off and almost finished her off. but dont worry! her dad, whos not her dad at all, finds her and he gives her some prosthetics that she can control with her super powers. what do you mean you werent aware of the super powers? of course they have super powers. its manga. after he does this he just lets her loose with a bunch of money and his tie because she asked very politely for the dangly thing he wears on his neck. she wears it like a headband, even though she established she knew it went around his neck. so yeah he gave her money but she was raised in a lab like a rat so she has no clue what its for. she meets the 14 year old homeless girl and they have a fun time being homeless together. Nana burns the money in a fire to keep warm but only some of it because the 14 year old girl tells her that you can trade money for food, which makes nana very happy because boy did she want some of the 99 cent street vendor food earlier. no one acknowledges that nana has enough money to buy her own house and be well off for easily 5 years. 14 year old girl takes her to the main character house that shes been staying at for a while and they have a bath. nana hated this idea until she realized that bath doesnt mean bucket of cold water at her new sort of house. but uh oh, nana senses evil 17 year old and shes kinda pissed about her arms and legs. they almost do a fight but wait whats this? 17 year old isnt fighting back, she just keeps saying "milk" and smiling. nana takes some issue with this and promptly leaves after pushing her through a rice paper door. shortly after everyone goes looking for nana.

um some stuff happens and then whaaaattt??? nanas not dads real daughter is introduced. shes locked in a circular room lined with lead and chloride of lime. with a diameter of 15 meters, the length of her invisible hands. shes only ever had the voice of a single woman to comfort her, shes permanently lockdd in bondage gear unable to move. she has to use a wheelchair to move because her legs have completely atrophied. she moves it with her invisible hands, her real ones are useless. she calls the only voice she knows her mother. her mothers job has been to talk to and comfort this dangerous girl for years. said mother mentions her excitement to finally see the girl in person, and also casually drops how theyve sewn bombs into several parts of her body. conveniently, if shes in intense pain her powers dont work. so she meets her mom, takes one look at her and says "youre not my mom >:(" and sends her entire upper torso flying. conveniently said torso lands near the bomb controls. she slams that shit like shes a rat with an orgasm button and babygirls arm go bye bye. they inform her while she writhes in pain that she has to comply with their demands or they can blow her whole deal up next time. shes pretty ok with being blown up, but then they tell her they want her to kill something so her ears perk up like a cat hearing a can opener. yep shes going to go kill evil 17 year old. nanas not dad is not taking any of this well but he essentially gets mindbroken after he has to blow up his daughter later after shit flies off the handle. he spends his time as a homeless man, denoted by the sudden appeaeance of a large beard, living in a shack on the beach where robocop died. he does note the beach is incredibly clean and that is because robocop picked up allllllll the trash so that evil 17 year old couldnt throw it at him. he did totally eat shit anyway though no worries. im not bitter about it why should you be? im not.

anyway shit happens and 17 year old melts into a really graphic puddle of fleshy goo, and in doing so totally does the jesus thing. because at some point she realized she really just wanted to be with main character, but all of the things shes done makes that impossible.

i was like maybe 12 when i read this shit. i didnt reread it for this. im pretty sure most of this is accurate but i CAN and WILL promise you one thing. diaper girl is real, and he REALLY really really really 100% did trade his balls for robot eyes, and a playdough robot arm.

[messrmarauder]

sup’ share your remadora headcanons pls

i have too many, here we go!

‘amused, impressed, smitten’ happened so damn fast because they spent so much time together doing order work and she would come over to try and cheer up sirius a lot

they get on straight away, always laughing and joking and they flirt but it’s a joke, it’s a just a joke.. right?

so he was basically completely in love with her within a month

he doesn’t know it though because they’re just friends, right? and friends think about friends all the time right? like all day? and all night? and friends can’t sleep because friends winked at them at 3pm? and friends feel their heart shatter when someone subtly teases their friend about someone that may or may not be another man? and friends secretly switch shifts around so they’re on the same guard watch and missions together? and friends walk each other home all the time? even though it’s a 40 minute walk each way and its far easier to floo but if she floos he wont get that kiss on the cheek that he thinks about the entire walk home and then regrets it because its creepy isn’t it? because she’s so young? and she doesn’t know that he’ll lay in bed and think about it for hours wondering why he cares so much  but they are just friends

then one day he’s writing her a letter, about something that doesn’t matter and is definitely something that doesn’t require a letter to be sent to her while she’s at work, but he’ll find any excuse at this point. and it just hits him, he thought something to himself about how even thinking of her made his entire day and it sounds far too similar to something james had once said about lily when he was trying to explain how he knew she was the one

he panics. he panics hard. he sits for hours completely still just wondering what the fuck he can do, until he decides to write to dumbledore saying he has to leave London, he can’t face her loving someone else, he thinks he would literally explode. but he calms himself down, there’s a war, harry needs him. so he bins the letter. he knows she would never think of him like that so he feels no guilt being her friend. because theyre just friends.

and the worst part is, to her, they really are just friends. it creeps up on her slowly, rather than being hard and fast like it was for him.

so for the most part, theyre just really close friends, joking and flirting, and he’s hiding the fact he’s completely in love with her and she doesn’t know but sometimes looks at him a bit suspiciously at the things he does or says that are a bit too soft and a bit too caring. but he slowly becomes her best friend

the order can tell straight away, its pathetic, he’s a mess around her despite them being so comfortable around each other. what they don’t see is that he literally pines for her. at 35. listening to all those songs about love knowing he’ll never have it

he’s badly jealous and can get quite nasty and judgemental if she has a date or talking about her exes. he used to really like bill, they get on great and he’s a good laugh, but he doesn’t speak to him for 3 weeks after finding out he and tonks had a drunken night once years ago and repeatedly tells sirius he’s a self-obsessed prick and hints to molly that bill needs a haircut. he used to support the montrose magpies until he found out tonks used to see the current captain, they never win anyway, remus thinks it’s probably because of him

molly even sits tonks down for a strong word about ‘being careful with him and letting him down gently because none of us need a broken heart in this war’ and tonks just laughs but she does start to notice what the rest of the order sees but she thinks maybe he’s just got a little crush and that’s fine because maybe she thinks he’s cute too? maybe

she falls for him way after he has and its not as terrifying, she doesn’t even think about it. it just sort of dawned on her one that that’s what it was, the thing they had going on, it made sense 

she tells her friends about this guy from her ‘duelling team’ to secretly get advice on him 

they end up together about 3 months before sirius dies after 100 ‘almost kisses’ and cuddling in bed as ‘friends’ because ‘the other rooms don’t have heating charms’ and holding hands because ‘she falls a lot padfoot, shut up’

there’s a fight with the death eaters and they think each other have been hit so when its finally over they’re running and screaming for each other until they dramatically run into each other’s arms and kiss and its all very romantic until mad eye shouts ‘HANDS OFF MY AUROR LUPIN’ and they break away and grin at each other

the next few months are bliss and they’re rarely apart, sirius moved from teasing remus about fancying her to glaring at him and giving him ‘the big brother talk’. remus quickly tells him to fuck off but tonks thinks its hilarious.

tonks friend finds out about them because he’s visiting her while she recovers after being really badly injured in the department of mysteries. she doesn’t take it well and starts telling tonks she’s crazy etc and tonks is like fuck off then bigot

but it reminds remus of how people see him and therefore how they will now start to see her. he’d never really thought about it because he never imagined them actually being together because it seemed so unrealistic. now he’s in full meltdown mode about what he could actually give her, which coincidentally, is nothing

they fight about it. they break up. remus decides to go and spy since that’s all he can offer the world. tonks is sent to guard hogsmeade/hogwarts since she’s not fit for detective duties.

he announces in a order meeting that he’s leaving and that’s how she finds out. he says he has nothing to lose when someone mentions the danger. it just makes her angrier, that she’s sitting there loving him, but he says there’s nothing for him. she says she loves him when he leaves. quite angrily. and disapparates before he can react

he shows up on her doorstep less than a month later, face black and blue, filthy, teeth missing, broken bones, after being caught out. he expects her to shudder and be disgusted when she opens the door but she kisses him. she starts to clean him up when he says he had to come back to tell her he loved her, he didn’t want to die without saying it. he says it 400 times that night, he can’t stop.

he leaves the next morning while she’s asleep and doesn’t say goodbye. this is the start of the ‘grief fucking’. something happens, he comes back, kissing her, saying life’s too short, that they need each other, he ‘stays the night’, she thinks they’ll be fine but he leaves in the middle of the night every time, and she breaks all over again. he knows its not fair and promises himself that he won’t do it next time someone dies but he does because he needs her

dumbledore told him to take something with him while he’s spying that will make him feel human and keep him sane. so he takes a picture of her, he’s scared he’ll forget her smile. but they find it, the werewolves, and he’s come back smelling of her one too many times so greyback decides he’s going to teach him a lesson about running away to witches. remus finds out about it and sends word that she needs to be hidden immediately

he goes to see her to explain he needs to be completely cut off from her and she needs to deny all knowledge of him, he needs to fully be isolated from the wizarding world for this mission to work. but she’s seen what this mission has already done to him, he’s a mess, physically, mentally, he talks of himself as if he is one of them, he’s adopted far harsher habits and doesn’t have his usual patient personality. she doesn’t want to hide, she wants to fight them, fight for remus, fight for them, so they start to argue and he’s so terrified of greyback getting her he’ll do anything to get her to forget him. so when she screams “but it doesn’t matter, if I love you and you love me-“ he turns around and screams “I DON’T LOVE YOU”  and he says it while looking right in her eyes and he sees the light leave her eyes and she looks down. he didn’t mean it, he was just desperate for her to understand and he’s trying to take it back, trying to explain but she shouts at him to get out. he goes back to the pack to try and blend in again, hoping she’ll stay hidden

there’s an emotional wizarding condition about shock that makes your eyes, ears, nose bleed and cough up blood etc, it’s pretty nasty. she gets it and gets it bad because she was so sure about their love but now she’s utterly convinced he was speaking the truth, he’s a bad liar and who would ever lie about that? mad-eye finds her bleeding out in her flat soon after remus leaves, she’d started choking on her own blood and she couldn’t see, she signalled him, he takes her to st mungo’s. he’s been alerted by dumbledore about the situation so he knows the werewolves can’t know her whereabouts so he gets a professional wizarding copycat, whose hired to walk around hogsmeade under polyjuice as a decoy while she recovers. she’s in hospital feeling completely useless and pathetic, what kind of auror doesn’t know someone’s not in love with you? she sits for hours thinking about how disappointed mad-eye must be, how dumb she is, how every touch, every kiss, every i love you, it was all a lie. she analyses every moment they had together, convincing herself they were all fake and trying to understand what his motive was, if he was just lonely?

the pack catches the fake tonks but remus doesn’t know about mad-eyes plan so he wakes up to the pack making a riot and goes over to check it out only to see tonks screaming and being hurt and groped and attacked. he is forced to watch greyback rip out her throat while they hold him back, he’s screaming and begging, then they drop her and move on to him. he’s battered but not enough to kill him. once they leave him he’s able to grab her and disparate to the burrow. arthur is in the garden and suddenly remus is just there with her, both covered in her blood, her throat ripped out, on the grass screaming.

the weasleys don’t know about the plan either and try to get him away from her, but he wont stop screaming and holding her and saying sorry, begging her, telling her he always loved her, that he’s a liar. he cant stop thinking about the last words he said to her, ‘I DON’T LOVE YOU I DON’T LOVE YOU I DON’T LOVE YOU’ and that she believed that. she died believing he didn’t love her and knew he and his kind were the reason she was dead. he cant take it and suddenly his wand is at his throat and he says the words as bill dives for his wand but blood splatters everywhere and he falls backwards and molly is screaming. he’s managed to cut himself but not his throat, thanks to bill. he spends 2 days in percys old bedroom on suicide watch begging bill to empathise and give him his wand back, ‘what if it had been fleur? if you had killed her, bill’ until they switch it to charlie who remus cant even look at considering the long feud he’s had with him for being on-and-off with tonks. he’d once told tonks that charlie was a fucking idiot, what kind of fucking idiot would ditch her for dragons? probably the same kind that left her for werewolves

after they both find out the truth, dumbledore breaks it to him, tells him about mad-eyes plan. mad-eye is trying to explain to tonks that remus had been caught with a picture of her, that the werewolves knew he wasn’t loyal because of her, so they killed her, or so they thought. she doesn’t want to see him, it doesn’t make a difference, he doesn’t love her anyway does he? he just feels guilty. but she needs to know why he had the picture and mad-eye says if she doesn’t go to see him he’ll probably break into her house, seeing the state of him. so she agrees to meet him at the burrow. he’s so relieved he’s openly sobbing on his knees, holding onto her and she’s thinking this is awkward and fully to do with guilt and nothing to do with love. he tries to explain how he had to say it to get her to stay away, that he was beyond desperate and she doesn’t believe him. ‘you can’t look into the eyes of someone you love and say that’ and he doesn’t really have an answer, just mumbles something about life or death.

after molly tells her all the details and how distraught he had been, she rethinks and goes to see him again. they talk it out properly, not screaming for once, they’re both too tired in this war and he’s too grateful to see her with her throat intact to be angry. she tells him about being in hospital but downplays it a lot, he’s still beating himself up about it until she points out she would have been caught by the werewolves if she wasn’t. they only see each other at order meetings until christmas.

he didn’t know about her patronus until harry mentioned it. he goes to see her, she is alone, but she had been working a double shift. he asks to see it and she refuses, says it’s not really any of his business unless he wants to be with her, but as he explains more about it, she thinks he’s realised they can’t be apart if this is true, so she shows him but it makes no difference because it was the usual ‘stay the night but leave again as soon as she fell asleep’ situation. she turns hopeless, if her patronus isn’t enough to show him how willing she is to sacrifice things to be with him, nothing ever will be.

after the hospital wing scene they go to grimmauld place to destroy any evidence before snape lets the death eaters in. he tries to avoid her but she catches him just to say that he’s right and they don’t have time to fight each other now that Dumbledore is gone, that they need to focus on the war, they’ve too much to do. he just nods but he doesn’t feel right. is that really it? shouldn’t he feel happy that she’ll be spared his life? but she’s still not happy he thinks. he sits up all night in the house they fell in love in and thinks maybe mcgonagall was right.

she goes home to sleep before the ministry spend all day interrogating her about dumbledores death tomorrow, but he wakes her up in the middle of the night, he asks to come in, she says there’s no more ‘grief fucks’ that she cant handle being used like that anymore. he says it’s not like that, obviously she’s not going to believe him but it’s different. he says he can’t go to the burrow, that he doesn’t want to intrude after what just happened. tonks lets him stay but only on the couch, and he thinks maybe he has lost her for good. he’s fucked her about too much and for too long. he wonders how he can show her he won’t leave this time.

the next few days are him trying to convince her this isn’t grief, its real and he is back for good, and her saying he just wants what he can’t have now and he’ll get over it in a few days. they go about missions together because she is on suspension for failing to protect the school

they’re on a weekend mission together away in scotland and they’ve kind of gotten cosy together again, almost like they’re back together but he sees her doubting him constantly, like she thinks it’s too good to be true and he’ll leave again so she doesn’t want to get too close. so it hits him that he has to prove that this is permanent so he abruptly says ‘marry me’, it’s not a question. she just laughs asking if he’s hit his head but he’s gotten very serious and says he’ll prove this is serious by marrying her, she thinks he’s fucking insane and says absolutely not but they get back together and she says she trusts him. but he keeps mentioning getting married to prove he’s here to stay after so many times of walking away but she keeps refusing him, saying they don’t need to, that it doesn’t matter. eventually he gets really emotional about how it’s really important to him to feel secure together, that they need a solid confirmation of this thing, and she agrees and they get married two days later.

it’s not a secret for long, her friend turns sides and rats them out to the death eaters,

umbridge sacks her for ‘beastiality’ in front of the entire auror department and she swears she’ll never work for the ministry again

the pregnancy is a mess. he leaves while she’s screaming at him saying if he leaves, that’s really the end of them, no going back, their marriage will be void. he leaves anyway. she waits all night for him, when he doesn’t return that night she waits until 3pm the next day before packing some stuff and going back to her parents, knowing that there was no going back this time.

he comes back to her parents, where they stayed after her parents were attacked, and andromeda screams and refuses to let him see her and says the flat has been sold and she’ll be out by monday so he better pack his shit and fuck off quickly. he has to plan the right moment to catch her in the flat by herself. she’s calm, terrifyingly calm for a pregnant women whose husband walked out on her, just packing boxes, telling him all his stuff is in the small amount of boxes in the livingroom, he can have that spare cauldron if he wants. he tries to talk to her about it but she keeps dismissing him, trying to ignore him, she shuts him up with ‘look, i know you were scared, i know you always come back, i know that but i wont have a child sitting at the window wondering if daddy will come back this time. that’s not fair, they didn’t ask for this, i did.’ and he knows he has no argument.

she says there’s post for him on the mantle and he finds a letter addressed to him with her wedding ring in it. he can’t stop himself, he’s begging her to put it back on, on his knees, half hysterical, trying to put it back on her. she says he broke his vows, theyre not together, why should she wear it but his begging gets to her and she puts it back on to shut him up but she doesn’t take it off again

he spends the next month completely doing up his father’s old rundown cottage, complete with baby room and every method of protection he can do. he doesn’t know how to show it to her since he’s seen andromeda burning his letters and only ted answers the door, so he waits in her parents back garden for hours until he catches her on her own and begs her to come see what he’s been doing. she hesitates but he looks quite manic and like he hasn’t slept in weeks so she agrees just to make sure he’s not lost the plot. he shows her around while she’s silent, he’s talking far too quickly and looking far too frantic, as if he expects her to run out the door any second. he explains everything at lightning speed, how it is for her and the baby, its made for them, how he doesn’t have to be here, he’s been staying in the spare room while he set it up but he’ll be gone the second they want it, how he’ll send all the money he gets, he’s got bill to take out some gold for him - it’s in the kitchen, how he’ll get any medicine or pregnancy things she needs so she doesn’t have to leave hiding, he’ll help her move in if she needs, if it is a werewolf he’ll do everything, if she wants. he looks so desperate so she says she’ll think about it but she breaks down when she’s leaving, shouting that this is what she wanted for them, not just her and the baby. that it should be them living here, not just her and the baby. she moves in at the end of the month.

it’s a really horrible pregnancy due to stress and inability to see a healer whenever they need. he comes home one day and she’s screaming, he finds her covered in blood. they risk getting a healer. the healer says there’s a large chance that the baby hasn’t survived. she’s hysterical, crying and screaming and hitting remus, saying he wished for this, he prayed the baby would disappear. she knows it’s not true, that he loves this baby already but she’s so distraught. its andromeda that defends him, tells her shes being ridiculous, that he’s done nothing but try and provide for this baby, put the baby first always. remus is grateful but still blames himself, for not being grateful for this child.

when teddys born they nearly write edward john lupin down but remus thinks its not right. every lupin baby carries john as a middle name, they always have but he wants to honour james, wants to thank harry for setting him straight, giving him the good bollocking that lily would have. so he adopts the potter tradition, of using the fathers name for the middle name. he thinks it will sound self-conceded but tonks thinks its fitting that he should have something in common with his godfather, especially if he might not get the chance to meet him. so it is edward remus lupin

I have a lot of pregnancy/teddy headcanons but this already ridiculously long so let’s skip that.

they live and harry moves in with them to give the weasleys space after fred. especially since hermione now stays in rons room, there’s not much space for harry. it’s great but there are postwar stresses and pumps. she finds out a lot of her friends are dead, theyre both unemployed with a small baby, werewolf legislation is still awful and then there’s charlie weasley who sends a letter essentially saying if she wanted to restart her life in romania after the war, charlie would help tonks and teddy move. remus opens it and the house is tense for a while.

I also have a lot of headcanons about charlie/tonks and remus and charlie having beef throughout ootp/hbp/postwar but we will skip just now.

they have a second son when teddy is around two. they don’t really have the money but they are both thrilled and were in a ‘not trying but if it happens, it happens’ mindset because neither liked being an only child and teddy is so wonderful and definitely not a werewolf. therefore alastor john lupin is born. teddy and ally don’t get on that well, both are hufflepuff and ally is a mini athletic remus, quidditch obsessed compared to music obsessed teddy. harry is godfather to both, and spoils them beyond belief.

remus eventually ends up at the ministry for a werewolf investigation unit that works with the aurors to stop packs, offering support/help to recently bitten and werewolf integration into wizarding society. he eventually gives it up to home school teddy and look after ally then goes back to teach at hogwarts a few years before the boys arrive.

tonks becomes head of the auror training division after the war and trains harry and other new aurors because she doesn’t want to be out in the field again as a mum but is too good a dueller to be stuck on desk work.

she visits remus in hogwarts one day because shes in the castle anyway and some boy shouts ‘sir?? is that your wife?? shes FIT’ and remus goes ‘yes youre very right mr ross, lets discuss it in Thursday detention’. ‘its not his fault im hot remus, leave him be’. teddy demands his mother never return to hogwarts since his friends wont stop teasing him about how fit his mum is, ally doesn’t mind because his friends are 11 and don’t know how hot she is. remus secretly loves it.

i am so sorry for how long this is but im avoiding uni work and you gave me an excuse

[chromations]

Does any Hermit vary drastically between your AUs? Like, personality or physique wise?

oho!!! yes!!! doc, ren,etho, iskall, and i believe. so. i co-own the war au (from my friend Chrome) and the voidskall au (from my friend shadow) doc: in the war au, he gets a bit power hungry and violent against the hippies. very mean, lashing out, basically make doc very violent, remove most his good traits since he's so caught up in the disappearance of the nho. in hardcore jungle he is very smart, learning things very quickly and picking up on body movement and cues. he wears a thick green cloak, no lab coat, and his robotics are wrapped in vines. throughout the story i plan to make him go a bit,,, returning back to creeper. like full on feral. redstone soda: he's a tamed creeper, just like the other aus. and has an immense hate for birds and roses/poppies

 etho: redstone soda, he's an aetherkind. i havent done much in the story about it but thats spoilers if i talk bout it here. :). harcore jungle: f as t, precise, a bit cold but long hair with an undercut? m. love. idk about war au and voidskall tho. 

ren: due to me loving ren so much. he. i love he. but in hardcore jungle: ohohoh man. hes a werewolf and nobody knows. hes a feral boy. he is f as t. he is strong. i love he. this man? perfect. except for the fact he wants to murder. war au: OHOHOH MAN. He's like. hes insane at the point the story was last updated. literally.. hes werewolf. he fuckig whimpers himself to sleep oh goD the hippies need hugs in that au. all of them. theyre all going insane from being trapped. oh ofgodogdfg in redstone soda he is a dogman. common knowledge on the server, just a big ol dogy man :) he is friendly. he is huggable. he is dumb but KIND and he can COOK and ;o i love this man. and in uhh.. what else. oh yeah! 

SoTRP and Voidskall!! in voidskall he has two different rens, one from another universe sorta? idk. but there's Den, who is Void!Ren. and there's Phen!Ren, who's a phoenix man :>

 and in SoTRP, he's Phen!Ren as well, amnesia and all because he does not recall there being an icebird!mumbo in this world or kitsune iskall. personality wise? in SoTRP hed bully void into self care. he fucking saved him from dying and :) in an au of voidskall, where Den and Void die due to voidhounds, Ren accidentally kills Den when trying to protect him but actually shoots fire at him. he hides away, and while the other void hermits fight over whos the leader now, he and Avrian (void grian) talk it out. 

Avrian says he should be leader, and due to avrian being the one with the role of appointing new leaders, ren agrees and gets the signature golden tattoo. but he regrets it and hides in the void. but he goes insane, and rips off his feathers, cuts off his wing, just anything to get rid of his bird side. but its useless. he cant  do it. so his feathers start sticking together due to blood, tail feathers turining gold and into one long tail which he also dyes silver, his ear feather solidifying and turning into a horn the color of his skin, and his other wing becoming metallic and curved. 

his skin is blue, hair silvery. he bids farewell to avrian and hops into another universe. another world. because he has a new name. his name is now Den. and hes now an evil hermit in Redstone soda. 

 iskall: war au, hes on a77's side. he has adhd. hes scared of doc. hes just scared for his friends, scared for grian and ren. just scared. but he works for a77, believing his friends will get better. but they dont. Cleo and Joe help him out, they spend time devising a plan to find the hippies. until cleo gets bitten by a zombie horse, hides for a week, and when joe finds her in the snow, bleeding, and now a centaur, iskall panics and goes into the hippie commune, a mask on and ready to find em. he gets chased by a big spider aka ex. ends up close, but unable to find the hippies. 

 hardcore jungle: man. hes scared man. sure, he has the most comfort with bdubs, zloy, pixl, and ely in a treehouse. but hes scared for his friends. scared of the dark :( poor man needs break. 

 SoTRP and Voidskall: thats the name, he's voidskall. hes an ass. hes cold, turned from the void. he hates the voidhounds, wants to escape. but he cant. he has the shackles. but Ren helps the best he can, with his phoenix friend cuddling him sometimes. the heat, the warmth. hes barely felt it, being in the void. but he loves the warmth. also he needs SELF CARE GOSH DAMIG NNSJfksf 

 redstone soda; hes got an evil alternate known as Eskall. eskall despises shad (the nether being). hes been nearly mind controlled by glowshrooms. he knows what hes talkign about. but eskall ticks and fidgets by scratching himself, he cant focus. he accidentally prevents his redstone from working. iskall helps him out throughout the days of s5 loading in. also iskall is given the feathered protector, basically a legendary blade from the aether. he found the blade in the end when end busting with mumbo, but xisuma and siren actually told him what the blade was for and he was like "Ohhhh". 

also he is strong and i headcanon he works out with grian and false on weekends.

 bonus:

 cub: he is neutral in the war au, but he favors the hippies and tries to find them, working himself to sleep. in redstone soda, a part of his soul, disembodied (CubVex/CubBan), has the ability to split people into two (emotions/personality trait wise), and fuse people (eg: Doc and iskall in s5). Cub is aetherkind as well, and finds himself with the hermits in s5, waking up in scars base. because the evil hermits tried to kidnap him sorta, but badtimes was like: ok no not for us. give him to scar.

 scar: redstone soda au. he does not react well with potions. his scars? netherkind dealt those to him. hes been scratched by jellie on his hands. he scratches himself to keep himself awake as well (not healthy guys. but this is also me self projecting so). hardcore jungle au, the vex live in the crystal on his choker. he nearly died from the vex (chapter 2).

 war au, hes docs right hand man. hes just not enjoying the whole thing, but going along with it because hes too afraid to say no, and he is also under the guide that things are gonna be okay. 

 cleo: war au. shes on a77s side. she is a centaur some point through, though this is unwritten. she becomes a centaur because she is bitten by a zombie horse during research. she does not like being a horse. 

 mumbo: war au. hes more on a77s side, but also against, but also sorta not for the hippies. neutral, working against cub. he took as poultry man because he missed grian as well. he took one of cubs drones and with stress's help, he reprogrammed it for himself. also he has gone a bit insane if i say so myself also the meanie took iskalls adhd meds. dont do that folks

 also in redstone soda i will proceed to introduce grian as a shark man. because i love shar ks andi love grian :D whoa h i did not mean for this post to be so long-

[multi-fandom-shipper-20]

I’VE HAD ENOUGH!

Right, I normally avoid making political posts but this time I am going to use my position of power as a Young White Woman to get a message across, BLACK LIVES MATTER. Yes all lives matter but in the recent development of yet ANOTHER young black male's life being lost due to AMERICAN police brutality I've decided that I am going to take my position of power and use it for good. I was raised with a lot of ethics and morals but there is one that I tend to follow more closly than others and it is this; I DO NOT CARE what colour your skin is, I DO NOT CARE what your ethnic heratige is, I DO NOT CARE what language you speak and I sure as hell DO NOT CARE what your religion is! So long as you're nice to me and treat me with respect I will do the same to you HOWEVER if you are not nice to me and you do not treat me with respect then don't let the door hit you on the way out. I hate that every year that I have to sit on my Facebook/Tumblr etc as a way to waste time and see that yet another Black Person has died innocently and needlessly because US Officers don't know their own strength and don't care about others while getting off scott free because the legal system is useless!   UK Officers have taser guns which are used to subdue an agressive perp, US Officers have .45's or 9mm guns with REAL LIVE AMMUNITION and their "rubber bullets"? they're just as leathal! I've seen pictures of someone's eye being completely swollen and bleeding after being caught by a rubber bullet! A US Officer has also used Mace/Pepper Spray on a CHILD! A god damn child! No more than 8 years old! All because that child was with his/her parents who were protesting the loss of another life by police brutatlity. "Seattle police fired tens of canisters of tear gas indiscriminately into a crowd, they flanked us, they fired fucking flash bangs directly into the crowd, if you are downtown right now please get out they are not fucking around and they are going for everyone, they maced a fucking ten year old little girl theyre bringing busses and cops are in riot gear ready for mass arrests and they will be shutting down the city. SEATTLE POLICE OFFICER WHO MACED A GIRL AGE ESTIMATED 7-10 YEARS OLD JARED CAMPBELL BADGE 8740 OFFICE OF ACCOUNTABILITY (206)684-8797" source https://zeldaharkinian.tumblr.com/post/619592338717704192/ NAME AND SHAME THE POLICE OFFICER! PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP THIS IS DISGUSTING AND ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS HIDE AWAY IN YOUR BUNKER IN THE WHITE HOUSE (A BUNKER OF WHICH HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY US CITIZENS TAX MONEY AND WAS PUT IN PLACE FOR IF THE PRESIDENTS LIFE WAS IN DANGER) AND CONDONE THE LOSS OF INNOCENT LIVES! SHAME ON YOU MR PRESIDENT, SHAME ON YOU! 

[wickedsingularity]

Christmas Miracle [one-shot]

wickedsingularity’s Christmas Stories 2018 Masterlist

Fandom: MCU Pairings/characters: Steve Rogers x reader (but not really), Wanda Maximoff, and all the Avengers post AOU/pre CACW (and @iguess-theyre-mymess starring as Sam Wilson's girlfriend/baking-partner) Words: 3747 Warnings: Angst, fluff, overworked, stress, nagging family, kissing, almost smut

Prompt/summary: When work and Christmas and sleep deprivation just becomes too much… Steve comes home from a mission and sets off a miracle. (Inspired partly by my own life and partly a Norwegian commercial.)

The busiest time of the year was busier than ever. It was also supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but with all the rogue HYDRA agents running around it was just stress, stress and more stress. They'd been fairly quiet all year, but now, right before the holidays, they were everywhere. Steve and Natasha had been sent away to deal with the larger of the suddenly active groups, and I was running around at home, working my ass off.

As the IT manager to the Avengers and what was left of SHIELD, I shouldn't be too busy, Tony made sure we had state of the art equipment, and I was pretty damn good at my job if I could say so myself. But it seemed that everything went wrong lately. I barely had time for my usual duties, as I was called here and there to fix the most ridiculous problems. And in the middle of it all, our servers crashed and I tried my best to get it back online as it was vital to Steve and Natasha's mission, even though everyone else felt their buggy printers or out-of-battery-mice was more important.

After a long day of fixing screens that showed everything upside down and saving a hard drive from someone accidentally opening a malicious attachment to an email and fixing the server temporarily and not doing any of the maintenance I was supposed to do, I dragged myself home to an empty apartment. Dry toast was my dinner and the couch was my best friend. That was also where I was reminded of all the other things I had to do at home. The lists were there in front of me on the table after one panicked evening when I decided I needed to write it all down in an orderly fashion. All the Christmas presents I had to buy, I had even figured out what to get everyone. All the baking I had to do. All the cleaning and decorating.

I groaned and reached lazily for the remote and turned the TV on. I don't know what channel it opened on because at that moment I got a text. I touched the fingerprint scanner and saw that it was from my mom. Have you decided what to do for Christmas yet? Your old room is waiting for you!

Another groan and my heart rate sped up. I glanced for a moment further up the thread.

I don't know. I don't know when Steve will be home.

If he can't come, you're welcome to come alone. Though we'd love to see you both!

Have you talked to Steve yet? Your grandparents are eager to see you too!

I hadn't replied to the last two, prompting her to send the current one. Steve's mission was on radio silence and no one knew how long it would take. I contemplated chucking my phone out the window.

Someone bursting into a Christmas song on the TV caught my attention. A family was gathered around their open front door, a group of cheery carollers standing in the driveway. I don't know what movie it was, because I tuned out before the guilt could overwhelm me. Instead, I remembered all the laundry I had to put away and dishes I needed to clean and the windows that needed to be cleaned because I could barely see through them, but I couldn't move from the couch. I just stared blindly at the TV for a long time, my mind going over all the things I had to do in an endless loop until another text dragged me back to reality.

This one was from Wanda. Want to skip work tomorrow and come with me to help me find a present for Vision? He's not easy to shop for.

I was able to reply to this one. I wanted nothing more than to get away from everything for a bit and spend some time with Wanda, maybe even get started on the Christmas presents, but I couldn't. I would have loved to, I need to get some shopping done too, but I'm still swamped with work. Everyone is useless. Laughing emoji.

Wanda's reply was quick. Oh, I'm sorry. Just let me know if you can get away, or if I can do some shopping for you while I'm out. Followed by five hugging emojis.

Thanks, I'll let you know!

A flash of guilt for saying no to Wanda went through me, even though I knew I was being ridiculous. I had just said no to her too many times the last few weeks.

I was done for the day. It was about nine, but I still turned off the TV and got ready for bed. On top of everything, whenever Steve was gone, it took me ages to fall asleep, and when I did sleep, I slept poorly and woke up early. So, I figured, the earlier I got into the bed, the earlier I would sleep and maybe long poor sleep was better than short deep sleep.

A few days later, nothing had changed, except I was now working alone. I had a few people working under me as the IT manager. Good people too. But all of them had applied for time off before Christmas and I'd granted it to all of them, except the one who was out sick. I worked better on my own anyway, it was faster and easier than getting more people involved. It was a flaw I had, one I was very aware of and one I should probably work on right now. It would have taken a lot of weight off my shoulders.

But I just couldn't do it. Not now. I did my best to fix everyone's problems and make sure the makeshift fix on the server didn't buckle under the strain and tried not to think of all the things I never got around to.

I was sleep deprived and stressed. My entire body was a tight knot of muscles, every time I turned my head my neck protested and pain shot through my head, my brain worked a million miles a minute, and my heart rate was probably through the roof and I nearly had a heart attack every time the phone rang or someone called my name in that please help me-tone of voice. I kept thinking about all the things I had to get done at work before Christmas but seemed to never have time for, and all the neglected tasks at home. The holidays were just days away. I decided to force myself out to get presents after work.

But when I got out, I was starving and exhausted, so I went home and would try to find all the presents online. With express shipping, I might get them all in time. And then I could spend a little bit of time every day the rest of the week, getting the apartment ready. I was proud of this idea and felt some of the burden lift from my shoulders.

But all I could find online was one present. Everything else was sold out. I was just about to throw my laptop into the toilet and cancel Christmas when my phone went off. I jumped half a foot off the couch, but my heart nearly exploded when I saw Steve's contact picture grinning up at me. I answered right away.

"Hi, doll." His voice was like a balm for my soul.

"Hi... I miss you." I felt my voice almost break, but I swallowed it down and hoped he didn't notice.

"I miss you too. How is my best girl?"

"Busy. So busy. But it's that time of year. When are you coming home?"

"Couple of days. We're just finishing up now. Did you work out the server glitch?"

"Sort of. It's online for now, but it's only a temporary solution. I suspect HYDRA has something to do with it though, given all the other things happening. But I'm doing my best."

"I believe in you, sweetheart."

"Fingers crossed." I grinned into the phone, trying to sound hopeful, but was glad he couldn't see how my lips twisted into a tight line instead.

We were silent for a few moments. I could hear him breathing at the other end, and I tried to imagine us curled up in bed, him the big spoon, his breath on my neck and his arms tight around me.

"I really miss you," I said.

"Are you okay?" Steve sounded concerned now.

"Yeah," I lied. "I just miss you. It's Christmas after all."

"I'll be home in two days, three tops."

"I can't wait."

"Me neither. Nat is waving me over. I got to go. I love you, okay?"

I felt the lump in my throat. "I love you too, Steven Grant." The line went dead and I dropped the hand holding the phone into my lap. "So much."

Steve hadn't been entirely truthful. He was already on his way home when he called, and he wanted to surprise her. But the call worried him. There had been something in her voice, something that told him she wasn't just busy, something was wrong.

After he had relieved Natasha as pilot, letting her get some sleep, he had called Wanda. If anyone knew if his girl was hiding something, it was the Scarlet Witch.

"She's been working really hard, Steve, everyone is on her tail," Wanda had explained. "According to Maria, her entire staff is gone for the holidays, and she's been doing everything herself. She is everywhere trying to help everyone and everything seems to be buggy. And whenever I see her, she gets paler and stiffer and there's a pained frown on her face. I don't think she's sleeping well either."

It was just as Steve expected. "Have you picked up on any of her thoughts?"

"You know I try not to do that." Wanda had hesitated for a moment. "But I couldn't have even if I wanted to. There are many thoughts in there, bleeding out. I couldn't pick out one from the other, without putting my hands around her head."

Steve pushed the Quinjet a bit faster after he had hung up. The hours flying back went by too slowly for his liking. Even slower was the medical check-up and the debriefing after. He tried to reschedule the debriefing for the next day, or at least a few hours later, but no such luck. By the time he went back to the apartment at the facility, she had gone off to work.

Steve stood still just a few steps inside the door, looking around. Next to the couch stood a basket of laundry that needed to be folded and put away. The dishwasher door was open and the inside was filled to the brim with dirty dishes. There were no Christmas decorations, no sign of anything Christmassy anywhere. Kicking off his boots, he walked further in and saw the handwritten lists and sticky notes on the coffee table. She had made orderly lists, and it made him crack a small smile, it was so typical her. They were sorted into what needed to be done around the house, what presents to buy for everyone, what Christmas decorations were to be put up, and what cookies to bake. Each list had a checkbox for "started" and "finished". The only thing checked off as finished was one of the presents for Tony, with a yellow sticky note next to it saying "online, estimated 23rd". No check marks in the started-columns.

He sighed and went into the bedroom to unpack his bag and take a much-needed shower. As he sat the bag down on the foot of the bed, he noticed that her side of the bed was barely slept in. Instead, her pillow had replaced his, and his was further down as if she'd been holding it while she slept. Steve's heart broke as he just imagined how these weeks had been for her. He knew she didn't sleep well without him, he didn't sleep well without her either. And she'd been so busy and she'd not had time for anything, she hadn't even answered her mother about Christmas judging by the texts Steve himself had gotten with questions about why she hadn't replied.

He set his bag on the floor, that could wait until later. And then he put the pillows back in their rightful place, pulled the covers up as neatly as he could.

"FRIDAY, are the others in and available right now?"

"Welcome home, Captain Rogers. Miss Romanoff is in the shower. Everyone else is in and available."

"Could you ask them to meet me here in half an hour? And could you call in Tony too? Say it's sort of a family emergency."

"Of course, Captain Rogers."

Steve tore off his uniform and went straight into the shower to wash away the grime of the mission. It was the quickest shower he'd taken his whole life. Body barely dry, he pulled on the first clothes he could find and got straight to work on the dishes, getting the machine started and handwashing the rest he could find.

Half an hour almost on the dot, there was a knock on the door. He told FRIDAY to open the door and Vision floated through before it was halfway open. Shortly after him, Wanda, Sam and Rhodey came in. And wet hair blowing behind her, a newly showered Natasha came running inside seconds later.

"What is this about a family emergency?" Rhodey asked.

"My poor girl has been working her ass off and has been running left and right to help everyone else but herself. I haven't been home to help out either. I was hoping we could all help her now. Before she gets home?"

They all nodded to a chorus of "of course".

Steve breathed out a sigh of relief. He would have tried to do it all himself if he had to, but he was glad they all wanted to help. He walked over to the coffee table and the lists there. "Sam, can I ask you to bake some cookies? You don't have to make everything on this list, but at least the ones that take the least time?"

The Falcon nodded and took the list Steve handed over. "I know just the person to help me with this," he said with a grin getting his phone out and walking over to the kitchen to make a call.

"This is a shopping list?" Wanda asked, grabbing one of the lists. "Vision and I can get this."

"Thank you, both of you. I can cross out what she's getting you, and get them myself later," Steve said.

"No, no, we'll look appropriately surprised."

Steve nodded and found his wallet, pulling out a credit card for them. "Rhodey, Nat, could you help me clean and decorate? If Tony shows up, he can help with that too."

"Sure, anything you need," Rhodey replied and Natasha nodded.

Steve looked around at them, and he had never been more grateful for each and every one of them. "Thank you, all of you. I know it's a lot of work and you probably have better things to do this close to Christmas, but I really appreciate this."

"It's no worry, Steve," Sam said, having just hung up and walked over while folding up the baking list. "We've all seen her getting more and more stressed lately. She's family, we're all family."

"This is what family does," Wanda added.

Soon, the apartment was filled with the fresh smell of soap. Dishes and laundry were dealt with, and Tony arrived with a gorgeous, plump spruce. Down the hall, the smell of baking made everyone salivate. Wanda sent pictures when she couldn't find the exact thing on the list and asked Steve for advice about what to get instead.

Decorating was next and everyone came in to help out a bit, while the gingerbread cookies were cooling before frosting, and when Wanda and Vision had finished all the gift shopping and placed them neatly wrapped around and under the tree in the common area.

It had been some long, hard hours, but the place was transformed. Steve had made sure everything was just the way she liked it and he couldn't wait for her to come home to this surprise. He didn't know how to thank everyone, but they assured him it was their pleasure as they left to let him rest for a little bit before she came home.

Steve sat down on the couch and looked around. It was almost perfect, there was just one thing left. He grabbed his phone and dialled a number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Steve."

"Oh, hi, Steve, dearest! How are you? How is my baby girl?"

"We're good, thank you. I just called to let you know what's happening for Christmas. I'm really sorry, but something has come up at work for both of us. We can't make it."

"Oh, what a shame... It's been so long since we've seen our precious daughter, and there are so many people who are dying to finally meet you."

"I know. We're really sorry. We'll try to take a few days after New Year's if that's okay with you."

"Yes, please do! Have a Merry Christmas both of you and try not to work too hard!"

"We'll try. Merry Christmas to you too, say hi to everyone for us!"

Another day of being pulled in every direction. Another day where I could barely get a moment to spare for what I was supposed to work on, instead I was helping everyone else with silly things, and no closer to a permanent solution on the server glitch. Another day closer to Christmas and nothing was done. And still two days until Steve came home. I didn't even want Christmas anymore.

The halls in the building were quiet. There was a lingering smell of baking, and I felt a stab of guilt at all the baking I had yet to do. Tears pricked at the back of my eyes.

"Well, I can always try again next year," I mumbled to myself as I pressed my hand to the scanner next to the door and it swung open. The apartment was dark, I was sure I had left at least the kitchen light on. I frowned. "FRIDAY, could you please turn on the lights?"

"Of course."

The whole apartment was flooded with light and I gasped. A tree, lights, stars, tinsel, Santas, it was all there. And from the couch, a figure emerged.

"Steve?"

"Hi, doll."

My purse dropped from my hands and I ran across the room and jumped into his arms. He made a sound as if the air was knocked out of him and then chuckled, his arms wrapping around me. But seeing him and feeling him after the past three weeks of hell without him and what he had clearly done for me, just made the damn burst. His name was wrenched from me in a whine before I buried my face in his neck and the tears fell freely from my eyes.

"Oh doll," he said and sat down on the couch with me still wrapped around him. "It's okay." His arms tightened around me, holding me as close as he could. He whispered in my ear, probably all the reassurances he could think of, but he could have been reciting all the numbers in Pi for all I cared. It was his voice and his warmth and the safety I felt around him that I cared about at that moment as all the stress and worries bled out of me. I hadn't wanted Steve to know how hard it had been, but somehow, he always knew, always found out. He could read me without seeing me, just like I could read him.

I don't know how long it was before I calmed down. But when I did, I was starving, and it was the growling of my stomach that had me pulling away from his drenched shirt.

"Don't worry, I've got dinner in the fridge, it just needs warming up," Steve said, his hands cradling my face, thumbs wiping at the wetness below my eyes.

"I thought you said you'd be home in two or three days," I said, frowning. "Not that I'm not happy to see you."

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, colour me surprised. How did you manage all this?"

"Everyone helped. All the gifts are bought and wrapped. There are cookies in the jars and boxes on the counter. The place is sparkling clean and festive."

My breath of relief turned into a chuckle and then laughter, and I couldn't stop. Steve's smile grew and grew until he too started laughing. I fell sideways on the couch and off his lap, lying on my back and heaved for my breath.

Steve leaned over, planting a kiss on my cheek and that finally made me stop. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice shaky. "You just came home from a mission and you're probably so tired and you haven't even had time to process it because you had to do all this and I just cry and laugh and I'm just a mess."

"I'm just glad to be home again and I'm happy I could help you get this done." He climbed in between my legs and finally pressed his lips against mine. The last bit of stress rolled off me and I hummed. "Oh, and if anyone in your family asks," he whispered against my lips, "something came up at work for both us," his lips moved down to my neck, "and we can't visit for Christmas."

"Oh, how I love you, Steven Grant Rogers," was all I managed to say.

His lips moved lazily against my neck, finding that spot just below my ear that turned me into putty in his arms. I raised my hips, grinding them against his, feeling the need for him bubble up inside me. But then he pulled back and sat up. "I love you too. But go take a quick shower and I'll warm up dinner. Your stomach is still growling."

I groaned and tried to kick him, but he dodged my legs and was up and by the fridge before I could say "bastard".

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