#if you're my irl friends (you know who you are) this isn't for you
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wolpatinga · 4 months ago
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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good#or that it's getting better. i really do#i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess#cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them#and i could not tell you why#this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here#but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that#isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts#the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself#and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone#and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this#which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago#and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine#and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message#does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them#i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action#it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now#i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon#and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates#it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said#thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles#i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms#it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know#and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort#and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it#god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts#idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better
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hypnowave · 2 years ago
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#mmm. mmmmm.#sometimes u wake up and shower and look in the mirror at your wide hips and narrow shoulders and u think#''damn this trans stuff is really delusional isn't it'' because no matter how hard you try you're never going to pass#because you can't get top surgery and can't get hormone therapy and can't safely learn to lower your voice#and you have a couple irls who know about your actual identity but you're certain they don't actually see you as male#except your sister and your best friend#you have a woman's body and a woman's voice and are living a woman's life and nothing you do seems to ever change that#it all feels so fucking pointless sometimes.#figures. one of my classmates presented her essay draft today and it was about whether or not being queer was nature or nurture#and it really hit a nerve. because people don't actually care which one it is. if it's nature then they will find this hypothetical gene#and they will purge it.#if it's nurture then they will do anything to stop the ''gay agenda'' because lgbtq+ behavior is deviant behavior and is therefore immoral#they would do anything to prevent us. we are an illness#i'm so tired. so fucking tired. i know i'm not male and i know i'll never be male and i wish i could just accept that#idk why i keep clinging to the notion that i am male . what's all this for?#i choose to carry this burden as if i'll get anything out of it. as if my time and energy wasn't needed elsewhere#my work. my final paper. my health. i'm so tired#i just wish i could stop caring.#jun.log#negative
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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i really dont think i actually deserved all that bullshit. the internets traumatized me now at this point and literally no ones gonna care unless my abuser is honest and its so fucking exhausting.
#at this point its my mantra that yall only care about believing the victim you like. if two ppl are accusing eachother you're going#to pick the person you like more. that just seems to be the situation. and its so fucking dumb#all these ppl who call themselves progressive who do this are so fucking dumb#you only want to believe the victim you like and i just dont understand why you're willing to throw me in the trash over a lie#not even CONSIDERING it could be me at all. nah. bc if you had to consider that you'd probably just have to feel guilty for the way you#treated me#but lord knows hardly anyone on this website ever likes to admit they did anything wrong bc they found their safe haven where they can#be an eternal victim and they dont want to lose that#i genuinely think yall are the worst people to walk this earth and you provide literally 0 benefit for anyone else#i have no idea what possesses you to think its okay to treat me this way like at all#how are you so sure. how do you believe them so storngly that you can have this reaction to me#and why do you think its fine#to the person reading this going 'omg hes so dramatic 🙄' i dont think you under fucking stand#humans aren't supposed to have THIS much criticism. our brain isn't used to having criticism from like 200 people like this.#ive lost friend and followers over this situation.i saw someone i thought of as a friend shit talking me on a different site#friends*#theres people irl who wont talk to me anymore#i dont think you understand what that does to someones psyche#imagine you were sent to prison for some shit you didnt do. you might in your heart know you're innocent. but the fact that you're#in prison makes you second guess yourself. and im tired of living by tumblrs rule of law since people on here dont even have#the basic human decency to give due process.#theres fucking people online who accuse me of shit i didnt do or dont believe in all the time on here now and i dont think they#wouldve done it so hardcore had my ex decided to be honest from the get-go#it feels like they know deep down theyre lying so theyre trying to find or even make up more reasons to keep believing im bad#like im sorry i had a messy past and im upset not enough ppl care about trans men#i have no idea how that warrants this response though#and im not like??? bad politically??? like at all??#like when ppl try to find reasons im bad its either disingenuous. a common misconception. things taken out of context.#someone just simply refusing to see my point or perspective in any capacity.#ot its something from my past but even as far as my past goes ppl are extremely hyperbolic about it. i wasnt a fuckin nazi or something
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orokukarai · 10 months ago
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"can we all agree leo//nardo didn't really have feelings for ka//rai"
no
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delugguk · 2 years ago
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Only Mine, Nobody Else's.
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pair: jungkook x reader.
genre: stablished relationship, smut, fluff.
word count: 5.4K
warnings: unprotected sex.
summary: there's you, who finds little things like eating perilla leafs as normal. then there's him,who finds such topics as horrendous. for him, this type of convos shouldn't even exist. so who'll win this battle? it's better to find out, now.
a/n: hellooooo here's the alternative version of THIS. finally!! I wrote this the same day I published the first drabble but never got to finish it until now, so I hope you enjoy this hehe. I really love them ㅠㅠ but I'll shut up now and enjoy their cute dynamics 😩 I'm sorry I took toooooo long to post but my irl schedule is kinda ass :( LET ME KNOW YALL REACTIONS!! I do appreciate it 👉🏼👈🏼🥺
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everything can happen during dinner but.. let me explain, okay?
when you start a topic.. normally, your smart and super interesting boyfriend rambles around until he can't stop his pretty mouth from moving - not that you complained though, you adore listening to him.
but as interesting as it could be, there was some nights were each topic jumped from fun conversations to.. sudden serious ones.
like tonight.
A new trend has seemed to flow around socials making everyone have these interesting conversations that.. you're not really sure if you vibe with them to be honest - but it is what it is as soon as seho, jungkook's best friend, brings this topic to the table.
and yep, you wanted to chop his balls right in that moment.
you could swear you were having a good time until that moment came. you and jungkook were oblivious to the matter for some reason so when you're having dinner with your friends, this sudden theme really got you out off guard because you just knew how jungkook was gonna get.
"so what is it about?" jungkook asked and now that you think about it, you wished he could just.. not pay attention but.. oh well.
"well, it's basically a question about.. you letting somebody else help your girlfriend separate her perilla leaf-"
"hell nah." jungkook cuts him out of his sentence.
damn.
"wait.." seho's chuckles, "you didn't even let me finish and you're already prohibiting that from happening." finding the situation funny.
you only ironically rolled your eyes with an ironic smile too.
"you make questions knowing well the way he is.." you say but it wasn't annoying.
"what's love if there's not a little spice to it?" he laughs. oh you hated him.
not really. but you know what I mean.
jungkook's just listening until he began to speak with a cocky grin. "do you really think I'll let y/n get feed by another man?" a small scoff of a laugh leaving his mouth, "yeah sure." as he brushes his hair back with both hands.
just laying back on his sofa, casually looking so fine. but this wasn't the time to think about that.
"It doesn't necessarily have to be a man, you know? It's just any other friend." says yoongi.
"whatever, I don't care. I wont allow it."
you chuckle. "mm.. why not?" sounding more curious, but you really wanted to know why he is so against it. "I don't see nothing wrong about sharing food?"
"not this way??"
"exactly?" seho's following just after jungkook.
"you, shut up." you point at seho. - now looking back at jungkook, "what do you mean 'this way'?"
"mm.. babe, this isn't just something you can share, you know?"
"but.. why not?"
both him and seho sigh. but just before they could talk, luckily, the theme dies as soon as yoongi successfully changes the topic to some stupid funny video he saw these days.
the fact that seho knows about jungkook's possessive/jealous behaviours makes this worst. they're like best friends, for god's sake.
after that little moment, not even a single wrinkle of happiness painted on your boyfriend's face but a slight eyebrow furrowing instead and it's just that his reaction to the matter was... priceless.
jungkook had so much to say but so little to think.. completely blinded by the thought of someone feeding his girl, this obviously wasn't going to end here.
..and you both knew it.
when you arrive to your apartment, jungkook didn't wasted any time to continue your conversation and it's just that.. he was so predictable sometimes, or maybe you knew him too well.
"what did you meant about that?" his voice sounds genuinely curious when he closes the door behind you.
"about.. what?" taking off your jacket as you respond, he smacks his lips in annoyance.
"you know what I'm talking aboutㅡ bam, hi" voice suddenly changing into a whisper-y cute tone when he kneels down to kiss his son.
"..hm?" and as he gets up, he takes your hand leading into the living room.
he seats first. tattooed hand giving little soft but strong palms at the other side of the sofa when he motions you to seat beside him.
when you cross your legs, you give yourself just the perfect enough space between him and you just so you don’t get any other contact with his dangerous body 'cause right now this wasn't your sweet, sweet boyfriend at his best. - not that he’ll do something bad to you, but because you were very weak when it came to having him close..
"are we.. really having this conversation?”
blinking many times as if it wasn't obvious, "uh.. yeah??" he answers.
you sigh. "okay." pausing, "shoot."
"do you really not care?"
"about what? food?"
he glances at you.
you exhale. "It's not that I don't care. It's more of me.. thinking it's not that serious."
his mouth drops into a little gasp. "how isn't it that serious? my friend could easily be feeding you.. you."
"so?"
"so???" he feels so offended. "are you really-"
"no, okay, wait. I do care about that. I dont agree about them feeding me. I don't like that either.. what the hell." you confirm because you realize. "what I'm trying to say is, they won't be feeding me."
"how?"
"because they will just help me separate the leafs, silly. they don't necessarily have to give them in my mouth?"
"but most people do. unconsciously."
"you do?"
"yes. and I think you can tell. I always do it with you."
"but that's because we're dating.."
"it's because I like you. romantically, silly." he flicks your head, making you blink.
"of course, so that makes sense!" you say. "I don't think a random friend will-- wait, friends can also do it if they like you.. as a friend?"
"uh-uh” he nods his head. “that doesn't exist when it comes to this food."
"what's so different about this?"
"you really don't know, huh?"
nodding your head, you shrink your shoulders as you keep silent for a few seconds and he crosses both his arms looking at you with narrowed eyes.
“what?” you playfully exclaimed as you’re also confused but jungkook just pushes his hair back once again, taking a big breather followed with an exhale. “babe," you continue, hands cupping his face. “tell me.” as your face gets closer, eyes trying to read his.
"they could touch your lips with the tip of his fingers." he says. big pupils staring at your lips when he’s soon piercing your gaze.
you do notice. butterflies in your stomach, god.
“no, they won't."
"yes they will and I can't let that happen."
you sigh. "babe, is not that big of a deal. you act as if that will make me fall in love with them.” then you pause to say, "which, it would never happen, by the way."
"but you could."
"no, I won't." you affirm.
"yes? you would." but he keeps being stubborn..
"no? I wouldn't?"
you both pause staring at each other and you roll your eyes.
"I still stand with what I said during dinner though." leaning back on his seat, you’re not longer cupping his face.
"honey, me helping your friend or my friend isn't going to change anything."
"you never know.."
"I think you should stop watching too many dramas. their messing with your little head." you playfully say while softly pulling one of his hair strings.
but he rolls his eyes. "how can you say that?" starting his funny drama. "those things definitely doesn't affect the way I think.." he pauses. "but If that was the case, then they'll be totally right because If it happens in dramas it could happen in real life."
"You're delusional.."
"No I'm not?"
"..and you want me to take you seriously?”
“babe.” jungkook warns, voice sharp.
“okay, okay..” you side smile. “I get it.”
“can you listen to me?”
"always."
"you can't.. you can't still do it for him or anybody that isn't me." he’s serious but his voice is so endearing..
taking a deep breath, you rest one hand against your cheek when you look directly into his eyes. "why though?"
"because I say so."
"mm… that still don’t help."
"yeah, it does."
"you can't just give me that answer as your reason why?"
"just did."
you lightly punch his shoulder. "jungkook!"
he laughs.
“you’re being childish right now.” you fake cry.
"okay, okay.." breathing, he goes back to being serious. "either way you still can't help."
rolling your eyes for the 281 time, you annoyingly respond with, "are you going to keep saying that?" pausing. "like is this about you thinking that's how I'll end up falling in love with somebody else? or… what?”
"mm.. yeah?" he's sarcastic. "Isn't it obvious?"
"how is it obvious?" you frown your eyebrows.
"because he'll give you one perilla leaf and you know how.. when somebody can't separate them, sometimes there's have to be another person to help, right?" he breathes as you nod. "well.. that person is, of course, you!" he argues, "and that could make you end up holding hands with him!”
"I- what?" he's unbelievable.
“as soon as I blink!" he continues - pointing at his eyes. "he has already taking you away from me!"
your reaction is.. well, you don’t even know how to react as he says all of this. only thing that could leave your mouth was, "jungkook.. you can't be serious now.."
"well I am?" he’s all pouty and annoying but you needed to make him understand your point of view and that’s all you think when his hands are lightly hitting his own thighs in frustration.
"well, that's ridiculous." now you’re the one leaning back into your side of the sofa.
"It is not?!"
"It is, and it doesn't even makes sense. I won't hold somebody's hand just because they helped me?" you blink several times as something that’s so obvious.
"but- how can you say that? this does makes sense and it can totally happen!"
then pausing, you decide to tease him instead even though you’re still serious. “are you, perhaps.. talking by experience? ..and that's why you're saying this to me?"
"no!” hands brushing his own face in frustration. "that's not why I'm saying this."
"then why you get so mad about it? It doesn't make sense to me. explain how it works because I do not understand and believe me when I say I'm having a hard time trying to." giving up, you give him a good opportunity to make you understand his point of view in full detail but that’s only if he want it though. you weren’t going to force him to do anything.
he was clear of it.
as soon as you said that, jungkook takes a short time of silence to think. rubbing his chin, rubbing his face.. you can clearly see he's really making up his mind for the way he keeps zooming out into his complex mind.
that could be pretty sometimes.
"let’s say.." he quickly nibbles his lip ring as his dimples slightly pronounce more and that's when you confirm for the second time that he wants to make this right. "..you have a friend, a girl friend.” you nod as he speaks. “and she needs help to separate all of her perilla leafs.."
"Aha.." you slowly nod your head.
"would you like it if I help? It'll take a lot of time.." his eyes feel so heavy looking at yours like he really wants you to say what he think is the right answer..
"..yes?"
but your answer is still very.. unbothered and that makes jungkook open his mouth with both hands on his head in a dramatic manner.
"yes???" he’s back to being exalted. “that’s really your answer?” he chuckles but it’s not even a friendly one. more of a sarcastic one.
“I mean.. what do you want me to say?! I just think it’s normal?”
“n-normal?” and there’s that sarcastic grin all over again. “why.”
"because.. it's just food?"
he covers his face in disbelief. "but I'm the one giving it to them.." he pauses. "Isn't it like if I was deeply caring for them? that's why it's wrong! It can look bad."
"not for me.." you look around.
he sighs for the 10th time smacking his lips as he reveals, "babe, you can't help others with perilla leafs because it'll look like you have second intentions with them."
"who said that?" now you're the one rolling your eyes.
jungkook sighs, rubbing his eyes. "it’s something to flirt about.”
“flirt?”
“yeah." he leans his body a little closer to yours, staring at your eyes almost intensely. you felt tension. not a bad one necessarily.
"have you done that?" genuine question.
"no!" he whines with the same pout on his lips. "why do you keep asking me this?”
“genuinely curious.. and you’re saying a lot of things.” you say.
he rolls his eyes. “I know a lot of people that do it..”
“how?”
"well.." he takes one of your hands to caress it while he speaks, "you know how hard they are to separate, right?"
"yeah..?"
"you normally will have to lean closer to that person in order to do so." he pauses. eyes piercing at yours when his voice goes two tones down. "people like closeness."
you nervously clear your throat. "ah.. yeah," immediately changing the direction this was taking— "so.. imagine we're eating on a cute restaurant-“ you fix your posture and jungkook only grins to himself. he has made you feel nervous.
he liked that.
“…with a friend, it doesn't matter if it's a woman or man” he nods, paying attention to your words. “and I can't help like you said.."
“aha..?”
“if I’m minding my business in that situation but my friend needs help, does that mean you’ll be the one helping them?”
"of course not." tone? annoyed and very serious.
"why not?"
"because I don't care if it's a woman or man, I shouldn't be helping anybody that isn't you. MY girlfriend."
that kinda made your stomach flip, let's not lie here.
"but then who'll help them eat?"
"nobody."
"jungkook!" you call him out.
but all he does is shrink his broad shoulders. “what? It's easy! nobody helps them! don't they have arms of their own?" he annoyingly responds.
"but that's so ass. it's not like you're giving them food directly into their mouth?!"
"..and? I still don't care! If I say you shouldn't then you shouldn't."
you raise your eyebrows. “okay boss?”
jungkook exhales, “I'm not saying that. but.. it’s just what's obvious? I can't help either and we're dating."
"..and you're possesive."
"I'm not possessive.
"yes, you are."
"okay, maybe a little but I'm not most of the time."
and that makes you laugh for sure. “see how you shamelessly lie to yourself, gosh.”
now he’s the one raising his eyebrows. “lie? do you want to know what’s a real lie?” he questions.
“yes.” you sarcastically smile.
“the fact that I don’t want to fuck for your stupid answers and the way that I hate how my solution to this has to be to fuck you silly.” then he whispers to himself, “fuck.” really wanting that to happen.
you were frozen, didn’t expected him to say all that. he’s surely crazy too because why did he had to say it while having that nasty smile on his face? why.
“then why don’t you act on it?” you tease back.
“because that’s a “lie”. he smirks, “told you I’ll say a real lie.”
“I hate you.”
“no, you don’t.” he smiles but then, goes back to the main theme. “listen to me, doing that.. I just think it’s thoughtful. like you’re clearly showing you deeply care for that person, you know?” then he pouts, “from my point of view.. we should be the only ones helping each other.. nobody else.”
you sigh. “okay.. I see what you mean. but I still think it depends on how you perceive it though.”
“fine, now you’re the one who needs to explain.” he said that with a slightly annoyed tone that made you chuckle.
“I think you keep seeing it as something romantic and that’s why you can’t accept it.”
“..and you think it’s not?”
“if I considered that to be romantic you think I’ll be reacting this way?”
“…no..”
“there’s your answer.” you smile.
"just.." he exhales. "take care of me and me only, yeah?" plastering his forehead against yours, his palms holds your cheeks ever so delicately when he says, "I will not feel comfortable if you take care of others in that manner when you have me. specially me. your boyfriend." voice so soft while pointing at himself and god, does he was really cute sometimes. "…would you like it if I took care of your friends?"
and at that question you take your time to think.
"I think it depends on the person too, jungkook.."
"why?" he responds as he is genuily curious.
"because.. Imagine if the friend we’re eating with needs help with their perilla but let’s say I’ve eaten that many times with them and everything was always fine,” jungkook nods his head as he carefully listens. “..so in this case, since they’re my friend I know them the most right?”
"yeah."
“but they’re asking for help, your help, when I know they could handle themselves just right..”
“I see where this is going..” there’s a little building smile on jungkooks lips.
“me seeing them acting dumb just so you could help them— of course that’ll make me definitely jealous.”
"you see?!" he suddenly raises his voice in excitement. "that's what I'm saying!" smiling brightly at you.
"but I'll be more mad because of you not noticing this person second intentions!" you defend yourself. "and because my friend must know I'm obviously dating you!"
"but see? you'll still get jealous, and this just meansㅡperilla leafs could lean into romance! you basically said it yourself! It's a way of flirting.." he says, looking very triumphant.
and at his reaction, you just roll your eyes smiling through it because you can't help it at this point.
"yeah..whatever!" you rapidly correct yourself in which he laughs. "all I'm saying is.. that I could only get jealous in circumstances like these because then I'll know this friend is obviously shamelessly flirting with you."
"but I wouldn't be falling in love with them." he says.
then suddenly, being caught off guard, you blink. “meaning… that you’ll help?”
"nope, I still wouldn't." he warmly says. "since I can't be comfortable with you doing it, I have to keep on my word. I can't do things that I wouldn't like someone do to me." then he adds, "and I would not fall in love with them, because I love you." he finishes saying when he plays with your fingers and his eyes tenderly lingers at yours.
"but.. you never know." voice small, you shyly say.
"no, I'm clear of it." affirming with a confident side smile. "I only have eyes for you, love." he says, gently grabbing one of your hands to leave a lingering kiss on top of it when your eyes can’t stop looking at his sweet actions. you do adored him so much..
"shit, I can't even look at other girls if it isn't you. I love you too damn much." he then chuckles when your laugh merges with his.
lovey dovey eyes staring at his.. “I love you too..”
with a smile on your lips, he mirrors your face too.
that night you both ended up fall sleep hugging each other on his big sofa. you thought you couldn’t get more comfortable than this.
the other night though..
“should I fuck you? nah… I don’t think you deserve it.”
you must’ve seen this coming. eager times always results into this. mostly when a jealous jungkook was very much present. you couldn’t believe how you were so easily lured into his words but the more you get to know and see the new sides of your boyfriend, the more you fell in love and the more you get turned on by him.
you couldn’t resist him in situations like these and it’s just that a jealous jungkook wasn’t just something you got to see everyday. he is normally pretty chill, but whenever he wasn’t.. oh boy.
…you whine with that. "Jungkook.."
"Jungkook, what? now you wanna beg?" a smug grin paints his lips.
you whine as you try to squeeze your legs.
"mm-uh." he opens your legs once again. "don't even dare to take this view away from me."
"but I'm so wet.."
"I know baby. but I can't fuck you if you keep playing around when I'm so serious." he pauses and gives you a hungry daring stare. "dead serious."
"I won't let anyone else fuck me if it isn't you."
"are you sure about that?"
"one hundred percent."
"No lies?"
"No lies."
and he smiles when a finger slides through your clit up and down teasing on it. "torturing you is like torturing me.." he sighs. "fucking wet." licking his lips. "want to eat you again."
"no," you fake cry still feeling his now, moist fingers. "fuck me. I want you to fuck me."
"is that so?"
"eunggg"
“you will have to keep waiting then.” he smirks before going down on you all over again.
"fuck, I love eating your pussy so much. always so wet and greedy for me." his voice’s raspy when he spits on it, just adding more into your dripping pussy. "I love making a mess out of you." he groans.
his tongue rapidly moves up and down as he adds a certain weight on it that makes you want to scream your lungs out. - making out with your clit, one finger slides caressing your folds very teasingly.
"jungkook.." you cry.
"what, baby?" he lowly breathes, eating your cunt still. just this time looking up at you.
when you look down the sight is just so fucking hot. your hands hold onto his hair as he gives you those puppy but very dominant eyes. he loves teasing you like this. he knows how much you love when he treats you like this.
"babe.." your hips thrust into his mouth. as you expose your neck to him.
jungkook leaves a slow kiss into your clit very sensually. "fuck.." he sighs as your arousal mixed with his saliva, dripped down your ass. your pussy pulsating and clenching like crazy. "what do you want?" voice raspy.
"fucking make me cum, babe. please" you whine, trying to touch your clit with your fingers the moment jungkook stopped eating you. - he takes his hands off you.
"not yet baby.. can't let you cum just yet." he sensually and very much needy bites his lower lip. piercing just shining. him very full of desire, just wanted to slide his hard dick along your wet folds. he wanting to feel you coating his length. make a mess out of you, make you beg for him to get fucked - to want him to destroy you. he wanted you to be left thinking about him only, to let you know how you were his and his only even though he was pretty sure he couldn't claim a person, neither you. but he still very much wanted to. he wanted you to scream you were his and his only. he wanted to have you whole. he also wanted to punish you for ever thinking about having help for someone else but him. is not like nobody could help you but why would you ask or need another person's help when he was right there? it made no fucking sense.
he could be seems as calm and collected from outside but his want and need into wanting to ruin you, begging for him until his name could be marked onto your skin were just fucking growing so much. he wished he could just have you like this forever.
"you make me fucking crazy. I shouldn't even be treating you like this. I should let your fucking pussy scream for me. be left untouched until it's begging for me to be touched." he murmurs, palming himself with one hand as his other one rest on your thight and his legs keep yours spread out enough to feel every blow of breeze as he constantly slaps his dick on your clit from time to time and the sticky sounds going in and out of his head made him want to devour you and swallow you whole. he felt feral, his point of possessiveness getting the best of him but fuck, you deserved this. he needed to show you to fucking behave and not say that stupid shit in front of him -or anyone- ever again. It shouldn't even be a topic of conversation at this point. It should be obvious too.
so that's why he's sliding his thick length along your slit and juices, hissing and cursing to himself a lot - closing his eyes every now and then because his desire into fucking your sopping pussy was getting into him.
"I fucking want you all to myselfㅡfuck." he moans. "I can't let nobody else see you like this." he then exhales, tilting his head back while closing his eyes. "only me.. fuck."
"I want to fuck you so bad but you don't deserve it." he tortures himself.
you cry and move your hips along him for more friction and it's so sticky between both your genitals, you feel so horny for him.
"why do you do this to me.." his lidded eyes gazes at you. "..hm?" he slaps one of your thighs. "you want me to fuck you stupid?" he takes both your legs, placing them at the side of his shoulders. "Is that what you want?" he pants, voice heavy and gone while he continues teasing his tip between your folds. "fffuck.. tell me - baby.. do you want me to fuck you so bad?"
"nngn yes.." you cry, feeling very hot and needy for him. your hips keep moving with tip and the feeling was so hot.. you were so wet it was an absolute mess down there. "babyㅡfuck. fuck me please.. fuck me." you beg.
"tell me how bad you want me to." he watches as his dick masturbates along your legs. he starts slow, later on hard when he's already starting moving his dick back and forth, pressing a bit hard on your pussy between your folds. "should I let you have it?" he scoff clicking his lips and a grin playing along. his legs also getting sticky with your arousal. "I don't think so.." he teases.
"baby please.." you arch your back, body distorting, nipples very much erect, your own hand squeezed your boob. shit, you wanted him so fucking bad. "I won'tㅡah. I won't do that again." you look at him with pleading doe eyes.
"do what?" he dares. eyes cloudy as he glances at his tip rubbing against your needy pulsating clitoris.
"ask stupid questions like that ever again." you moan as you try to open your legs but he keeps them close to his neck, adding more pressure to his dick. breathing hard.
"stupid, huh?" he rasps, chuckling a little about it. lidded eyes piercing at you. his tip moving a little more sensual and faster along your clitoris. He gives small slaps to it while he slides his tip.
It feels so good.
"mhmh-" you feel like crying, the pleasure only rising.
his cocky laugh resonating through your whole body.
"wish you’ve said that earlier.." he whispers. "because then I wouldn't be fucking losing my mind right now." pausing. "you're mine okay?" he says while introducing himself into your needy hole.
the moment he introduces himself, you’re squeezing him so hard he can barely fully put his dick in. "fuckㅡbaby, relax." jungkook opens his mouth into a gasp. "do you want me to cum now?" breathing heavier.
“nno.. but you feel so goood.” you swallow your words when you feel the leaks of your pussy. jungkook is the only person that has ever made you feel this horny.
“fuck.. baby.. how am I so lucky?” he said that one last thing more to himself than you.
after not taking it anymore he makes you ride him instead. “jump on me.” and you do. “fuck yeah, nice and hard baby.. so good..” as he holds your waist with his big hands.
eyes looking up and down your body it was as if he was admiring you. the woman he has in front of him. the perfect sculpture ever made, the hottest girl he has ever crossed his heart and eyes into. it was getting a lot so his natural reaction was to delicately examine each part of your body like how his hands fit so perfectly into your waist, they way your vagina swallowed him just right.. how wet you always were for him.. just the fact that you wanted him just as much as he wants you makes him crazy. the way you close your eyes with each jump or bite your lips giving him that pretty nasty look with a side fucked out smile he loves so much.. you were so sensual, he absolutely loved that.
“I love you so much.” he says before leaning your body against his just so he could start fucking you back and that made you scream.
“agh! mmfuck”
he was going sort of fast and deep just how you like it. the way you could feel his breathing against your neck made your nipples get harder but also because of the little rubs in had with his chest. you tried putting your boobs on his face which was a success so jungkook started to lick them or tried to because he was fucking you so fast now it was getting messy.
“I want to cum.” you say as you’re getting close.
“don’t cum like this.” he answers when he’s already flipping you stomach down, ass up. “let me see that pussy swallow my cum.” when he slaps your ass making you arch your back.
“fuck.”
you closed your legs and leaning your chest into the bed. this position making you hold your boyfriends dick a bit tighter.
he exhales with a ‘ho’ sound when he slaps your ass once again. “you just get better, hm baby?”
damn it he sounds so fucked out.
you felt so full you couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m gonna cum!”
“fucking do it, I can’t wait neither.”
as soon as you do he starts fucking you with paused but hard and deep thrusts. your legs were shaking, it’s like he knows exactly how to get you over it. when he cums inside you, the sight of it was what made him more crazy.
“swallowing my cum just right, huh? fuck..” he squishes your ass to the point it leaves a red stain. “how you’re still so deliciously tight….”
and without noticing, you were horny once again..
if you were going to tell everything that happened that night.. you’re sure you wouldn’t handle to finish with just a few paragraphs but you could guarantee that everything that happened was worth enough to let anybody with more than their mouth open..
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lizziesribbons · 8 days ago
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Part 1 | seeing her for the first time
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PAIRING: BEST FRIEND'S MOM! WANDA X FEM! READER
summary: you had no idea visiting your college bestfriend's hometown for the first time would put a women in your life that would either ruin your life or be the love of your life. Stay tuned to find out.
warnings: ****MINORS DNI***** *****MEN DNI***** ****CONTAINS SMUT LOTS OF SMUT****** fluff, legal age difference (r is 21, Wanda is 42), angst, homophobia, wanda is religious, church visits alot of them with Wanda, Wanda is divorced because I absolutely hate cheating it disgusts me I hate vision but I hate cheating more. Mentions of domestic abuse, mommy issues, parental control and alot of family issues.
Author's note: this is the first chapter so it might be a bit of everything idk I need a good base uh anyways y'all know my first language isn't English so bear with me ALSO half of this is projecting I'm literally writing what happened to me irl the only part fictional is me meeting an older women unfortunately that wasn't the case but I absolutely love my bestfriend's mom she's such a sweetheart I miss her alot :( I haven't met her ever since me and my bsf grew apart been a year I think
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Going to your best friend's hometown for the summer wasn't your first option but you didn't really have a choice since your family disowned you after you came out to them during last year summer after your first year at college, it was your second year now and you've still been in no contact with them you occasionally talk to your sister every once in a while since she's the only one who accepts the fact that being gay isn't anything out of the ordinary
So here you were driving in your old ass jeep your grandparents gifted you on your birthday behind your parent's back, you loved it alot even though you were the only person who were able to drive it since anyone else couldn't figure it out even if they wanted to save their life.
"my mom just called she's excited to see you, says she's glad I'm bringing a friend she has been bored alot" your bestfriend carlee says pulling you out of your thoughts. "Oh" you say breathing out and shaking your head to pull yourself out of the trance you were apparently in, "uh yeah I'm excited to see her too. What did you say her name was? I didn't catch it" you ask her your eyes still on the road "Wanda" carlee says with her mouth full of potato chips, "Wanda? That's pretty- carlee I swear to god if you drop any chips in here." you say with concern "I won't! See I'm not a little kid" she says in defence "just be careful." you drive in silence, carlee's mouth sounds the only sound in the car.
"why is your name carlee" you ask after a few minutes "what the fuck is that supposed to mean" she says her eyebrows furrowing and you chuckle and say, "I mean why and who named you there must be a meaning cuz your name makes 0 sense with Wanda's", "I'm still confuse on what that means but anyways my mom didn't name me my dad did he didn't really give mom an option to name me, says it was his first love's name and he wants to cherish her" she says softly, "Oh what a dick" your face in disgust as carlee laughs loudly "he was, I mean he is he still is I'm glad mom divorced him" she says sighing "yeah? I bet he was" you say to her sadly "well atleast we can bond over our crazy insane dads you know" carlee chuckles lighting the mood as you laugh with her, "hey you want something there's a cafe coming up I think" you ask Carlee "yeah sure I can enjoy a coffee right now" she says as you pull over "no coffee carlee we're still 4 hours away and you will eat my brain if I let you stay up just eat something and go to sleep besides you've already had 4 cups of coffee and it's literally only 2PM." you hear carlee groan as you talk "You're not my mom you know" she says throwing draggers at you "Oh sure like I literally don't make you breakfast every morning" you roll your eyes at her "Oh shutup" carlee throws her head back as you get out of the car and shout lightly "I'll bring you something to eat just wait here okay" with that you head off inside after 19 minutes you come back inside the car with a paper bag in your hand, you drop it in carlee's lap "here eat please all you've had all day is potato chips and coffee" you say with obvious concern, carlee smiles at you "god you're so sweet it's sickening sometimes I love you" carlee says rummaging through the bag as you start driving again "yeah sure" you say laughing after eating your snacks and lots of laugh and talks carlee falls asleep as you peacefully drive, the car ride after that didn't feel that long you reached her hometown at 6:37 you wake her up so she can guide you to her house after a 10 minute drive you pull up at a beautiful house, calling it a house would be an understatement it was more of a villa even though it wasn't even that big it was just built so beautifully. You knew carlee was rich even though she never showed off or bragged about it, it was obvious, she was the kind of person who's help you could recieve gladly without feeling small because she never made you feel small you were always an equal to her "your house is gorgeous" you say breathing out "yeah? My mom got an eye for architecture she made the blueprint herself" carlee says clearly proud of her mom, you say with shock getting out of the car after parking it in a respectful setting "your mom? That's impressive" you say looking at the house in awe "wait till you see the inside girl cuz I was flabbergasted too." carlee says chuckling as you walk up to the front door
Carlee rings the bell and you hear footsteps approaching the door, you had to hold your breath so you couldn't scream as you see Wanda walk out her face beaming with happiness as she saw carlee and hug her. She was perfect actually. Angelic even you could she was an angel herself. Before you could process it she hugs you and you melt in her arms "you must be y/n carlee has been speaking about you non stop" you can carlee became friends after your family disowned you she saw you crying outside of your class one day and approached you, ever since then she have been your ride or die. "yeah uh I I am nice to meet you miss maximoff" you say softly and nervously fidgeting with your shirt, you were sure you were sweating right now and hoped to god carlee and Wanda don't notice.
"well come in darlings I've been waiting for you I thought y'all were coming yesterday" Wanda says rushing you both into the house, you were in awe when you saw the inside it just felt like home it was so beautiful and gorgeous it was like walking into a warm embrace "yeah mom we had some work to-" you cut carlee off and look at Wanda "your house is beautiful miss maximoff" "Oh please it's Wanda no need for formalities and thankyou I'm glad you like it" she says, her arm around Carrey as she looks at you softly smiling "mom I'm really really really tired do you mind if we rest a bit?" carlee says looking up at Wanda, carlee was short even shorter than you, Wanda was probably a feet taller than carlee and atleast 6 inches from you. "sure sweetheart go on your room is all ready I made the bed first thing when I woke up and y/n your room is beside carlee's I set up the guest room as carlee told me you'd like but it's okay if you wanna sleep in carlee's room too" she says patting your shoulder, you could've sworn she looked you up and down and checked you out but you just shrugged it off as you being tired "you didn't have to miss maxi- Wanda but thankyou so much" you say looking up and softly smiling "I'll unload the bags from the car just give me the keys you both go and rest" she says already taking the keys from your hand "wait I can help" you say walking behind "no worries you just go and rest okay?" she pushed you towards the already sleepy carlee and go outside, you grab carlee's hand and ask her to lead you to the room "Oh come on you're so ridiculous you slept for 4 hours already" you say laughing at her as she acts sleepwalking "so what sleeping is fun" she says lazily "just show me my room and I'll get off your ass ho" you say to her as she guides you to the room "thankyou" you say rushing to the room and dropping on the bed you let out a huge breath you didn't know you were holding. God Wanda is beautiful you thought to yourself how can someone be this pretty? Is it wrong to find your bestfriend's mom this gorgeous and attractive but you couldn't help yourself she's just so perfect, you slept thinking of her.
After 2 hours there's a knock on your door, you stir awake "yeah?" you say in a sleepy voice "hey sweetheart it's Wanda can I come in?" you were wide awake now. "yeah come in" you quickly fix yourself and sit up in the bed "hey I just woke carlee up, fresh up dinner is ready carlee is downstairs just freshen up and come down okay?" she says in that angelic voice of hers, god you could listen to her for hours- no, y/n don't do that don't think about it that's wrong but she looks so sexy right now in just simple jeans and button up shirt "yeah I'll be down in 5 minutes Wanda" you say quickly covering up your nervous state you rush to the bathroom.
After 5 minutes you come downstairs and see Wanda and carlee on the dinner table waiting for you, how will you survive 3 months if you can't even walk straight infront of her?.
To be continued
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ambrosialdesire · 1 month ago
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bloodsports
[ PART ONE ] [ PART TWO ]
18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI
pairing: modern au!reiner x fem!reader word count: 13.6k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, explicit sexual content, unhealthy relationships, misogyny, public humiliation mentions, sorta an unbalanced power dynamic, a/b/o dynamics and themes, modern & college/university au, alpha & hockey player jock reiner (will be sorta ooc but ig you can count it as his s1-3 soldier persona), omega reader, enemies to sorta friends to enemies again to lovers (but both reiner and reader are stubborn dumdums and it's sorta one-sided), bertolt x reader implications, heavy jealousy/possessive themes, heavy self-sabotage, alcohol consumption, violence & blood warning, "fated" mates, usage of suppressants, unwarranted scenting, kinda scenting kink?, pheromone-bombing, size difference, size kink, noncon kissing, all characters are 18+ synopsis: trying to get through uni should've been easy, but presenting as an omega made you become a seemingly easy target for the many disgusting alphas that roamed the campus. no matter how much suppressants you took, you unfortunately just had to grab the attention of the most notorious one out there. the university's famed center in ice hockey, reiner braun. to you, he was nothing but a godforsaken, meatheaded annoyance. a/n: i am not one of god's strongest when comes to a/b/o or the omegaverse LMFAOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY IT, SUMN ABOUT IT MAKES ME GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL AND IDC WHAT OTHERS THINK 👺👺 anywaysss, yea it's another hatefuck reiner fic that i decided recently to make a two parter LOL i made reiner a hockey player because i kinda like hockey more (i watched one game irl with my sibling and it was hella cool even tho the team we were cheering for lost 💀 the state pride was crazy, i had no idea how irritating it was hearing the other team fans cheer 😭) but i'm really really new to the sport so forgive me if i make some mistakes about it lol (i did modify it a little so it can be more dramatic and violent lol) happy valentine's day (ik this late AFFFFF LMFAO) and hope you guys enjoy this! the second part will hopefully come not too far behind, maybe in december once i'm freed from school haha note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚.───
"You're coming to my game, right?"
The sudden weight on the table of someone leaning upon it on the other side caused it to creak, but you didn't have to look up to know who it was. The wafting smell of warm, spiced vanilla with vague, yet noticeable earthy tones wrapped around you like a familiar heated blanket. No matter how nice it smelled, it only bubbled irritation within you. You continued writing your notes, ignoring the looming presence.
"Omega, answer and look at me." A chill ran down your spine and your head felt heavy once he spoke, the demand stern and clear. You didn't want to answer him, but your secondary gender was scratching at your brain like a persistent fly. Answer him, answer your alpha.
You stubbornly pinched your leg once to get yourself out of it before finally looking up at the man himself, narrowing your eyes at him.
"Can't. Have finals tomorrow. Also, don't ever do that shit to me or call me that."
He scoffed and rolled his eyes, already knowing he wasn't going to take that as an answer. "You weren't answering me and c'mon, it's only for a few hours babe. Who wouldn't come to their alpha's big game today?"
"Me because you're not my alpha and I'm not your babe. Go find some other omega that drools over you because this one isn't going." You grumbled as you stood up, beginning to collect your stuff to get back to your dorm. He grabbed your wrist before you got your notebook, pulling you towards him, eyes were gleaming with determination.
"Come to my game and I won't bother you anymore. I promise."
You pulled your arm out of his grasp with a frown, quickly debating in your mind. Could you trust him?
On one hand, it would be nice to not get disturbed by him anymore. But on the other, that means you have to be packed in a stadium with sweaty alphas and a handful of excitable betas and omegas for an hour or two. The smell would be awful and overwhelming, false ruts and heats would get triggered easily from the adrenaline. You didn't even like ice hockey or any sport in general, too many alphas dominated the industry.
You bit back a heavy sigh, finally deciding on your answer.
"Ugh. I'm holding you to that promise then Reiner. No randomly showing up at my dorm, no waiting for me at the end of my classes, don't have your friends try and check up on me for your behalf either. Got it?" His hazel eyes lit up immediately and he nodded, his smile wide.
"You got it babe, I'll pick you up at 6."
You were about to tell him off about the pet name but he ran off, whooping in the quiet library while slamming the doors open. A few of the students' and staffs' glares went over to you, causing you to grimace before finally picking up your notebook. What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?
Life wasn't like this before. For a year and half, you've had an alpha cling onto your every move as if you've claimed one another. It may seem like that to him but you definitely didn't want anything to do with him. All Reiner did was bring a mix of trouble to you, a burden that you never wanted. Your secondary gender was supposed to be a hidden secret for only yourself to know — the prescribed supplements made sure of that — and you were supposed to present as a beta in order to live a peaceful university life. How painfully frustrating it was to be found out from a simple error in your day-to-day routine.
You were in a rush, you're human after all, and forgot to take them before you left your dorm. It wasn't until you entered your class when a brick of strong smells bitterly hit your nose, something that never happened before. One day and that's all it took for everyone's eyes to latch onto your frame, the horrifying hunger glimmering in the darks of their pupils.
You froze, unable to move from the doorway. The vileness of their stench rang alarms in your head, they were all sour and distasteful with every short whiff you took. It was overwhelming, heavy, and nauseating. You knew what they were all thinking, internally debating whether you should run back to your dorm or transfer.
A large arm had made its way around your shoulders, pulling you closer to their body. You panicked at first until a whiff of something sweet in the air stopped you. A spiced vanilla enveloped your senses with every breath you took and like a switch, your body immediately calmed down, unintentionally leaning closer to them to continue feeling this sweet relief.
"Hey." You tilted your head up at the person who was currently holding you by the neck and felt dread quickly fill up your stomach once more.
Reiner Braun, one of the most notorious womanizers on campus and the university's proclaimed players in ice hockey.
Reiner Braun, smelling like a freshly baked pastry, slinging his arm around you while unintentionally managing to bring you back to your senses.
Reiner Braun, whose face is suddenly way too close and you could just barely feel the brush of his lips against yours.
Your face burned up at the realization and you shoved him off you, eyes wide and mouth parted open in shock as you watched him stumble back to reality. What the fuck just happened and why the fuck did he smell so good out of everyone here? He looked like he was appalled by what he did as well but recovered faster than you did, a sly smirk growing on his face.
"Hey omega, just a head's up. The next time you come to class, don't smell like a sweet treat for us alphas alright?"
You thought you couldn't burn up even more than before, your body beginning to tremble in complete rage and mortification as the students began to howl in amusement. All of your emotions were pumping through your system all at once way too quickly and you finally ran out of the class, tears brimming on the edges of your eyes. There was no way you could handle being in there for another second. The boisterous laughter faded away in your eardrums and once you got far enough from prying eyes and ears, you collapsed to the ground and nearly sobbed your heart out.
You knew attending this university would be difficult but never in your life did you think you'd be humiliated in this way, just for one stupid little mistake. To alphas, any mistake that wasn't from their pretentious clique meant your life, your downfall, everything. It becomes a weakness to exploit and use, like a deer with a broken leg completely surrounded by a pack of starving wolves.
All you could think about over and over as you finally made it to your dorm was:
Fuck Reiner Braun.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
After that day, you made sure to take your supplements on time with an alarm. Regardless of that, you still felt skittish once you stepped foot in that damn class again. Not because of the possibility that the knowing glances of your classmates would come your way, but the fact that Reiner would not leave you alone ever since he embarrassed you.
When you finally went back to that class in the next lecture, you placed yourself all the way in the back corner than your usual spot, trying to hide yourself away until everyone forgot about the incident. It seemed that your humiliating moment had faded away quickly like a passing breeze since no one looked your way as the seats began to fill up one by one. It was not until you heard the familiar laugh of him, only then you started getting nervous.
You stared down in your notebook, trying to look as busy as possible but the shuffle of a heavy bag and a body sitting down next to you in the loudest way possible confirmed your worst suspicions.
"Good thing you saved a seat for me, that’s so nice of you omega." Reiner congratulated you in a false manner and you grimaced, turning your head towards him. He wasn't looking at you but he was smiling as he looked to the front of the room. You had to force yourself not to stare at his body, which was a mental battle in itself when his pheromones were as strong as ever.
He most likely exercised before coming here, a faint sweat stain on the chest of his white cut-off tank top confirming your thoughts. The tank top was hiding little to the imagination, loose enough to where you can see his sculpted muscles from the side but tight enough to where it accentuated his chest. He was manspreading — a common occurrence in those who were considered to be extremely prideful alphas — and wearing dark gray sweatpants.
You didn't mean to but your gaze slightly wandered a little more down, heart nearly stopped in your chest when you just barely spotted the faint outline of his half-hard cock against the fabric. He was... big and if that was him barely aroused, wow. You'd pray for those that let this son-of-a-bitch hit another time.
The usually dormant annoyance in your brain wanted to get down on her knees and suck him off till he got hard in her mouth, but you had to viciously fight her back into the deep crevices of your mind. You don't know why the urge was so strong, the meds you took usually gave you no sexual desires towards anyone. Maybe you need to up the dosage? You'd have to make a doctor's appointment soon because you don't know if you could stand this new disgusting pervert inside you.
It would be the coldest day in Hell if you ever let Reiner fuck you.
"I have a name, use it or fuck off." You turned back to your notebook and he chuckled in amusement.
"You got a bite now omega? Where was she the last time we spoke?"
"Maybe she would've been there if she wasn't on the verge of a breakdown. Fucking asshole." You muttered the last bit, starting to ignore him once the professor finally entered the class. Cracking your knuckles and opening your laptop to the latest powerpoint, you began writing down the important points of what was in the week's module. It took you nearly half of the three hour long lecture to notice that he didn't make any sound, no writing or keyboard clacking or any tapping from his phone. Your peripherals just barely caught the sight of him and your skin ran cold.
Reiner wasn't paying attention to the lecture. You started to practically feel the absolute intensity of his stare, burning two deep holes into the side of your face. The chair lightly squeaked as he suddenly moved closer to you, the audible sound of him sniffing at you came after.
What the fuck was his problem? You quickly inched yourself away from him, backing into the wall but he followed suit almost immediately. His large frame nearly engulfed yours, the sheer heat of his body radiating off as he neared you.
He sniffed once above your head, then again and again as if he was searching for something. Thank God you decided to shower this morning. The tense atmosphere between the two of you grew thicker with each passing second until his hazel eyes narrowed, the corner of his mouth twitched in faint irritation.
"...You don't smell like anything." Reiner sourly muttered before pulling away, giving back the needed space.
"Uh... yeah? I got back on track with my meds." What was up with him? Reiner had never once spoken to you before the incident, in the class and out of it. In this class in particular, you've usually seen him on his phone, napping, or quietly chatting with the nearest poor soul.
He's known to not fool around with your kind, back when you were still portraying yourself as a beta. Why would he? To them, betas were boring and basic. They weren't alpha enough to be considered to be one of them and not omega enough to fuck. His preferences were pretty out there in whispers and giggles too, so it's not like he would need a reason to talk to you unless it was to get his dick wet for the night. That seemed to be the plan in mind since he was continuously interacting with you.
"Why would you?" Reiner nonchalantly questioned, as if he wasn't the one of the reasons why you take such heavy supplements. Your eye twitched, your fingers tightening around your pen.
"Are you seriously asking me that?" You scowled, watching him shrug and lean back onto the chair.
"Yeah, why not? You're the first omega I've met with a scent that's not doused in cheaply made perfume, it's..." He stopped, thinking of the right words before finally settling on one. "Original."
You scrunched your nose, conflicted with what he just described. He is the talk of the campus, most if not all omegas would've loved to be marked by him; no wonder they try to court him with different concoctions. Then again, he could just be saying that to get into your pants. Original, ha! If he liked this so-called originality, he should find it in someone else.
"I'm not interested y'know, not after what you did last time."
After you said that, all the words seemed to die in his mouth. He became quiet for the rest of the lecture and you didn't have the courage to look back up to see his expression. The silence was a simmering awkwardness, and you could only try and listen to the professor as much as you could. His smell was now twisted with a dullness to it, almost bland and distasteful like the rest of the room. When the lesson finally ended, you started to zip your bag close and pull it through your arms, until his hand grabbed the strap and lifted it up onto his own shoulder.
"What do you think you're doing?" Panic bubbled in your chest as you tried to grab it back but he kept maneuvering out of your reach, a playful smile growing on his lips.
"Think of this as an apology to you omega. I'll walk you to your next class." Your heart dropped to your stomach, the last thing you needed was even more people staring at you, especially with the campus fuckboy in tow.
"You really don't have to and don't call me that." Reiner snorted as he walked down the stairs, you having no choice but to follow him.
"What else can I call you if you haven't told me your name yet?" He held the door open for you, readjusting the bags he was holding. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms.
"Why offer to walk me to my next class when I don't even know your name?" It was a lie, of course everyone knew him just by the simple utter of his name, but he laughed at your simple comeback, genuinely laughed. It didn't sound like it did when he poked fun of you that one day, your face starting to lightly flush warm.
"Fair enough. Name's Reiner, Reiner Braun. One of the University of Marley Warriors centers." You slightly cringed at the title, he just had to add that fact in. Oh well, might as well play along just a little.
"Y/N L/N, one of the many second year students in the University of Marley."
He laughed once more and nudged you on the back with his elbow, letting you take the lead.
"You're a funny girl Y/N."
You had to ignore the way your stomach fluttered from the way he said it, picking up your pace. Remember, you had to remember that he caused you a turmoil of anguish for a near week. All you were going to give him was this moment and that's it.
"Thanks."
Now that you think back on it, how silly it was for you to think that this was the last time he was ever going to talk to you.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
There wasn't a minute in your day where Reiner wasn't in your presence.
Nearly every day for roughly five or six months since you've started talking to one another, he'd manage to find you and socialize. He'd give you a small snack or drink too, ruffling your hair once you took it from his hand and sitting down in the seat next to you. Every day was a different topic that he asked, ranging from simple questions to a little more personal ones. You knew he was trying to pry whenever you didn’t say much about yourself so you've revealed only a few tidbits, nothing big. Sometimes he needed studying help and you didn't mind tutoring him about the subjects you were sorta knowledgeable in. He always seemed so interested and focused in whatever you say, so hey, at least he was a decent listener.
He started rejecting hang-outs with his friends and teammates, all to simply talk to you. It's crazy how often he did it, a few times occurring in front of you through phone calls. He'd only mentioned his teammates when he tried to invite you to numerous practices, implying that he wanted them to meet you. You turned him down about it for the first few times, creating excuses to not go, until you got tired of him asking and finally begrudgingly agreed.
Watching him practice made you realize one thing about him: Reiner loved to play dirty.
Of course since you were merely a new bystander of the sport, it might've been one of the core strategies of how to win in hockey. Yet the more you observed, the more you noticed how he treated everyone on the ice, friend or foe. He told you before that centers did a lot for their team and were known to be more on the offense, even when defending. You thought the role was perfect for him, considering how he started this whole "friendship" thing with you. However, the way he treated you was nothing compared to how he treated the sport.
It was like watching an illegal cage fight from the way he quickly sped towards the puck, viciously slamming into others to make way. A frightening sight indeed, maybe even more for the ones on the ice as they were the ones he barreled his shoulders into their chests and sides. You can't remember how many times you flinched watching an unfortunate player get rammed into the plastic barrier by Reiner, the heavy sound echoing throughout the stadium. Everyone on the opposing team was merely his punching bag and though they can get a few hits in, you could tell that they couldn't handle the constant confrontations. He didn't care that they were still his teammates and that this was merely a practice game. To lose is to lose and for an alpha, that could never be an option.
You never told him this, but you never liked the look in his eyes that he gets whenever he played, the darks of his pupils blowing out the once-warm hazel color with a carnal and exhilarated intensity within them.
Regardless of his violent attitude, Reiner genuinely worked well with his team, whomever was on his side at least. He especially got along with whoever jersey number 60 is — the only hint being that his last name is Hoover — and who was noticeably taller than anyone else on the team. The two were extremely compatible, making the smoothest passes that whenever you blinked, it would seem that the other had the puck in the first place.
The strangest part of it all was that he'd make you wear his jersey afterwards, that's also somewhat the reason why you stopped coming over to his practices besides the extreme harshness of the sport. It was way too intimate for him to be sharing a highly scented object to a friend but you've tried refusing, saying that you hated the stink and it was still wet with sweat. Reiner never really cared about what you said about it and pulled it over your head, the fabric hanging loosely mid-thigh. You hated how calm it made you feel and how every time he asked for it back, you'd hesitate.
Even if he did like you, you don't know why he was being overly friendly. Was it because you were an omega that he had to be nice to you? You tried not to think about it like that since you were slowly getting used to his presence, as if he became a part of your routine.
He never pushed anything sexual onto you either like you originally thought he was going to. Sure, he'd make a weird comment or joke here or there but it never really made you uncomfortable or escalated into something else. Your feelings towards him simmered down to a level of neutrality, not quite at peace from what he did but not as angry as before. Did he feel bad for his actions? He never really said an actual apology to you, but is that really why you still find him aggravating to be around with?
"You're such a study bug, don't you know how to have a little fun?" Reiner skimmed his fingers against the already-read pages, your bodies squished side-by-side, one of his arms wrapped loosely around your waist as the two of you read your textbook together. You don't know why or when but you started to not mind the physical contact with him anymore; you chalked it up to it being the winter months and you were cold as hell, he was basically the closest thing to a portable heater. Your physician upped the dosage of your meds as well and there was a noticeable difference, but it didn't seem to deter the thoughts you were having about Reiner. They probably would’ve faded away if not for his constant presence.
"I don't have time for fun, unlike you with your full-ride and sports." You muttered as you flipped the page, eyes skimming over the new paragraphs. He groaned and rested his head on top of yours, taking in a deep breath. You’ve noticed that he was more touchier with you compared to his other friends that you once watched from afar before, but you’ve gotten used to it for the past few months.
He was silent for a few pages until you could feel his fingers trail up against your scent gland, your body immediately freezing up. He shouldn’t be touching you there, a shiver going up your spine as you felt his fingertips rub light circles around it. You couldn’t stop him, not when your brain was currently being scrambled with the feeling.
"Your smell is still not there." He off-handily murmured, finally removing his hand from your neck and letting you collect your thoughts again.
You swallowed thickly, trying to clear your throat. "I think you forget that I take heavy suppressants."
"Why do you? Do you really not want to fuck anyone any time soon?" You cringed at his wording, meeting his eyes.
"Well yeah, pretty much. I want to focus on school, not constantly wonder if I'm going to suddenly go into heat around an alpha. And it's a guaranteed protection, I don't want to get accidentally marked this early in my life." You could feel his hand squeeze and knead at the meat of your hip, knowing that he was in thought.
"I don't know if our class remembers what sub-gender I am but you certainly do, you were literally in trance when you met me," You pointed out, feeling your skin prickle warm as you thought back on the memory. "And it was my mistake, I didn't mean to get off of them and do that to you. I'm pretty much protecting myself and others from doing something... irrational."
What he didn't know is that having no heat at all for months at a time had made you indescribably horny, but you've been managing it so well that you really didn't need any outside assistance at all. Him being the only alpha that hangs around you on a day-to-day basis and consistently touching you has not made the thoughts any better than they were before, but you forced those damn heinous ideas in the back of your mind every time. Bothersome they were and you tried to not let it get to you as much as possible.
Reiner nodded slowly, closing his eyes. "Well if you do get into a heat, I'm available for use."
You gasped, quickly jabbing your elbow into his side, causing him to flinch from the feeling and laugh almost aloud in the quiet library. "God, don't say that here!"
"It's true! There's a line-up of omegas that need help through their heats, I'm not the only one that's getting something out of it. They need a knot and I give it to them." You don't know why but hearing him admit that made you almost freeze and feel your stomach drop. Every time you're reminded of his reputation, something in you twists in an unpleasant way. It's strange. You have no reason to feel this way when you don't even like him in any romantic sense.
"I'd rather not hear about your many conquests, thank you very much." His eyes connected to yours and you tried not to pull away, trying not to feign anything that would give you up.
"Don't tell me... You're jealous, aren't you?" He teased as his grin grew wider and you scoffed, closing the textbook almost a little too hard.
"Please, as if! I'm not the one here insinuating into starting something." You huffed and tried to disconnect your body from his to put the book away but he didn't let you, his arm holding you around the crook of your back firmly.
"I never mark them, if that makes you feel better. No matter how much they beg me to, I don't. I'm pretty good at controlling myself."
You paused, the heavy stone in your stomach still dragging you down. He sounded honest about it and any omega that he marked would've bragged about it for years to come. Hell, you wouldn't even be as close as you were with him right now if that was the case. Yet, the admission didn't make you feel any better and you'd rather not praise him for something so bare minimum.
"...I really, really don't care Reiner. You can fuck anyone you want silly and it's none of my business. I'm not your mate and you're not mine." His eyes softened, looking at you so fondly that you almost wanted to take back every word you had just said.
"We could be."
Time stopped. The way he said it so nonchalantly made you feel absolutely breathless, like you were punched so deeply in the gut. You so desperately wanted to kiss him in that moment — say fuck it, why not be his mate for the rest of your lives — but that was nothing but the godforsaken omega in you talking. This wasn't some cheesy romcom movie, this was real life. Why in the world would he think there was a possibility that he’d be your mate? The two of you barely knew each other besides the light-hearted chats you’ve had together, he only liked your presence because like every other omega, you were easy.
No matter how long you stayed up at night thinking about him or how much you desired pressing your body against his at all times, you would not sacrifice your future for him. You were trying to be more than just your sub-gender and more than solely becoming an alpha’s eventual trophy wife. Being with him would only complicate things. There was nothing he could do or say would change your perspective.
As you stood up with your stuff, you told him as firmly as you were able to make it without your voice wavering.
"No, we couldn't."
It felt like it was you trying to convince yourself otherwise.
You’d do anything to not be the one watching his heart break right in front of your eyes, his mood changing almost immediately. He tried to look away from you but you saw the deep disappointment reflecting in his irises. The softness they once held hardened up once he realized what he was feeling, trying hard to swallow back the pain. The change of his smell washed over you in waves, a cold melancholy hitting the back of your throat while a burning anger bit at the pit of your stomach at the same time. It wasn't like him to be so distraught with a simple rejection, maybe you were the first one that didn't immediately fall for his charms.
Maybe, just maybe... it should've been you that had gotten rejected instead. Perhaps it would've made you feel less awful about it.
"Yeah, sorry. I… I don’t even know why I said that. Why would I even choose yo— No. Wait. Fuck, I—" Reiner cleared his throat quickly and stood up himself, ready to get out of the situation he put himself in. He was backpedaling, you knew he was, but it didn’t make you or him feel any better about the situation. He really was not used to rejection, huh?
"Let's... let's forget all that. There’s a party going on in Delta Kappa Theta tonight. If you want to come, come. I don’t want you to keep preventing yourself from having fun." The way he still cared about you first made you feel like you were the complete piece of shit here. No matter what though, you didn’t owe him a relationship or situationship or whatever you two have.
You partially nodded anyways, a squeak of an ‘okay’ barely escaping you as you watched him walk away. Every step that he took made you feel even less sure about what you just did, but it was for the best… right?
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
It was the first frat party you’ve ever been to and as you approached the house, you knew that it was going to be way out of your comfort zone. You wanted to go back to your safe and warm dorm, make up an excuse to go to bed early, but Reiner was right, you shouldn't be cooping yourself up for so long without any other interaction besides him. You slowly took in a deep breath, tugging at the seams of your jacket before entering the house, music blaring in your ears and bright lights hitting your eyes as soon as you opened the door.
Find Reiner, find him. Your omega begged you as you shuffled through drunk and dancing bodies, but you ignored it. Would he even want to see you after you rejected him?
Someone tapped you on the shoulder and you turned towards the person, eyes wide with shock.
"Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you," Another alpha, his clean rain-like scent faint from the amount of alcohol in the air. He was extremely tall but folded his body within himself while holding a red solo cup, and his black hair was in desperate need of a new haircut, nearly covering the tops of his eyes. The man didn't seem to present himself like an alpha, his demeanor certainly different to the ones you've met and seen before. "You smelled like my friend and the lights are way too bright so I thought you were him, so sorry again."
He looked vaguely familiar but it seemed that he recognized you first, his mouth suddenly agape. "Wait. Aren't you the girl that Reiner keeps talking about? Uh... sorry. What was your name again?"
"Y/N, nice to meet you. Reiner... mentioned me?"
He kindly smiled and nodded, holding out his hand for you to shake. "Bertolt and you have no idea. You're basically all he wants to talk about recently."
It felt like your heart skipped a beat, butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. You really had that much of an effect on him? You felt partially proud that you, a complete nobody, managed to get him head over heels for you. The other part felt horrible, you didn't mean to lead him on like that to the point where he started bringing you up to his friends. It seemed that Bertolt realized what he said was causing you to get upset, pulling you towards the kitchen.
He quickly scooped up some liquid from a punchbowl and poured it into a new cup, handing it over to you. "Here. A drink might make you feel better."
You weren't new to drinking, only having it a few times casually here and there so you took a quick sip, a smooth burn going down your throat. You coughed lightly and shook your head, hearing him chuckle. He leaned against the countertop beside you, swirling around the cup in his hand.
"Bertolt?" You hated how small you sounded, trailing your fingertips against the ridges of the plastic cup.
"Hm?" He started to take another sip out of his drink, raising it up above his head.
"I don't know if he told you this already but I rejected him this afternoon." The sound of him choking and hacking followed suit immediately after you confessed, a spew of apologies running out of your mouth as you patted his back to get it all out. He definitely didn't tell him yet.
Once he managed to finally stop clearing his throat, he wiped his mouth and turned towards you, eyes wide. "Why did you?"
You bit the inside of your cheek and took another quick sip. "I told him that I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship or sex, all I want to do is focus on is passing my classes and graduating. That's the complete and honest truth."
His friend stayed quiet for a bit until he nodded once, as if he understood your reasoning.
"That's fair, you should be able to pursue what you want to do for your life instead of tending to his needs. It's hard out there for omegas and it's great that you're doing more for yourself. I know Reiner really does actually like you, but you don't have to pursue anything with him if you don't want to. You control what you get to do."
You felt flushed from both the alcohol and his words, you've never met an alpha that shared such a considerably controversial opinion before. You quietly thanked him, watching him tilt his head up towards the ceiling, sighing softly.
"Reiner... I've known Reiner since middle school and fuck, he has his moments where he tends to be a shitty guy, even long before he presented as an alpha. He's stubborn as hell and rarely listens to us and he's occasionally a great guy to be teamed up with, but inside, I know he's just trying to figure himself out."
"What do you mean?" He flinched, beginning to sweat bullets as he nervously fidgeted next to you.
"A-ah, sorry. I don't know if I should be telling you this since you're also his friend but," His pale eyes darted side-to-side, as if he was making sure that no one was listening. "Every omega he's been with, he calls all of them 'practice' for his fated mate. Everyone knows that having a fated mate is super, super rare but since he met you, well..."
He nervously tugged at the hem of his shirt but you immediately knew what he was saying.
"No." You awkwardly started laughing, shaking your head quickly. The house immediately felt even more stuffy and overbearing, a nauseating feeling overcoming you all of a sudden. Omegas being used as practice? Were you just another practice target if the relationship didn't work out?
"N-no, he doesn't seriously think that I'm his fated mate?"
Bertolt sharply inhaled through his teeth, eyes locked to the ground. "Reiner was always hopeful he'd find his second half and you've been the only omega he speaks so positively and constantly about. He mentioned the day you guys met, how your pheromones enticed him so much that he nearly kissed you and he wanted nothing more but to have you as his mate after that. Ugh, sorry. Even saying it out loud makes me feel gross."
You felt sick, numb. Were you even friends from the start or was all of his actions just some kind of courting method? You could barely hear yourself tell Bertolt that you had to go, fumbling a goodbye and an apology to him before pushing yourself into the crowd. The sea of people felt like it was getting more impossible to navigate the more you moved in it, a tight feeling building in your chest from being overwhelmed by every little smell and sound all around you.
Get out.
Get out.
GET OUT.
When you finally managed to push through and find the front door, your blood ran cold immediately. Like a deer frozen in front of oncoming headlights, you couldn't believe what you were staring at. Every part of your body screamed in complete anguish and devastation but you couldn't move. You had no right to, but you couldn't stop your tears from rapidly falling down your cheeks.
Reiner Braun, sitting down on the couch with some stranger on his lap, tracing his hands down their back, and pulling them closer to his body.
Reiner Braun, kissing down their neck, the peaks of his canines just barely scraping against their scent gland.
Reiner Braun, basically publicly grinding himself against this willing participant of his.
His eyes opened half-lidded and in some cruel form of fate, locked onto yours. Out of everyone in the room, he managed to find yours. He pulled away from the omega, a strand of drool still connecting between them. His hand still rested comfortably on the curve of their back, his mouth uttering only one name with wide eyes.
"Y/N...?"
All you could think as you finally snapped out of it — running out of the fraternity until your lungs felt like they were being ripped to shreds — was how bad you felt for that omega. How they were only going to be reduced into something so demeaning, a dummy-run to find his perfect mate. They didn't deserve that, being wide-eyed and hopeful that because he decided to choose them for his lustful pursuits, they're finally worthy of being a candidate of his.
You sobbed aloud as you washed and scrubbed your body red once you reached your dorm, trying to erase every scent and touch he made for the past couple of months. He was nothing more but absolute filth and you fell for it like a fool, a stupid brainless omega. You thought you were better than that but no, you were just like the rest of them. Even if you were his so-called fated mate, why did he continue to seek out others? Wouldn't he have tried to abstain? Sure, you shouldn't have expected that much out of him considering that you didn't even accept his confession but for some reason, it still hurt.
Fuck Reiner Braun. You should've never forgotten that in the first place.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
Now you were here, leaving the messy history of the second year behind and now moving onto your third. Always look to the future, as they say. You took a lot of preventatives in avoiding seeing Reiner, the plan nearly as extensive as your studying.
You blocked his number once he started to keep calling over and over again ever since the party, blocking the new ones that came every so often and changing your number once you couldn't take it anymore. There was no reason for you to hear his explanation, it's his business on who he decides to fuck and you shouldn't be mad about it anymore. Part of you was afraid that if you hear him explain himself, you'd run right back to him just like every other omega he had a finger wrapped around.
You stopped frequenting areas you used to hang around in, which was unfortunate since some of those places were your favorites. You moved dorms, avoided places he frequented, and made sure he wasn't in any of your classes. Your majors were luckily too different to be in the same buildings or rooms, and with the help of Bertolt, you were always one step ahead of him.
He was the one that approached you first in one of your classes together at the start of the new semester and taught you the ways in how to avoid meeting up with him. You didn't know why his best friend wanted to help you and once asked him, getting the answer that Reiner hasn't been himself recently and he was afraid that he might do something rash if he managed to find you.
"You have so much ahead of you, I’d hate to see Reiner make you throw it away."
Bertolt made sure that he wasn't seen with you whenever the two of you hung out, and when he was with him, he made sure to steer clear of your direction with a simple text. He had to bathe immediately after just in case your scent got on him, which should be nonexistent but he was afraid that if there was just the vaguest trace on him, Reiner would hound him about it. He basically became your bodyguard whenever it was possible for him to do so, and you didn't even ask. You've never felt so grateful meeting someone like him before.
He also brought up that Reiner's been playing more rougher than usual, and snapping at others even when they're on his side of the team exercises. Even the coach was too afraid to say anything about his behavior, relying on him and a few others that were friends with him to talk to him about it.
"It sounds like he's in a pre-rut." You mentioned, handing over the pickles from your sandwich over to him. He took them with an open palm and threw them into his mouth like chips.
"I hope not, his scent smells the same so far but he rarely gets into ruts for me to really know what he smells like. Plus, he never knows how to handle them well."
"Reiner doesn't choose any of the omegas he messes around with for his ruts?" Bertolt shook his head, swallowing.
"Not at all. It's weird, he may mess around with them during their heats but he never, ever lets them in when he's going through a rut. Think it has something to do with the fated mate mentality he has, but sometimes we don't even know he was ever in one until they're over, he basically disappears for a week or so."
It’s funny in a weird way. The two of you were hiding each other from behind Reiner’s back as if the two of you were dating. Even though the two of you became close, your relationship with him was nothing romantic. Some kind of bro-code would've been broken between Reiner and Bertolt if you started dating him, and you'd be eating your own words from what you've said to Reiner. Then again, you never wanted to date him and tolerated his looming, clingy presence on most days.
Bertolt told you that he liked someone but was too afraid to make any move. She was another alpha and one of his friends, so the pairing itself had its controversies. He kept saying that his confession might ruin what they had for years and he was satisfied being in her shadow. It was sad to hear him put himself in second place for her happiness. So you tried doing a little nudge for him to go for it — 'the worst she can say is no' kind of talk — because it was better for him to say something than nothing at all and still quietly pine for her. Bertolt got too excited and rushed in with the confession after one of his practices without your knowledge, a messy bouquet of roses tightly gripped in his hand.
There was a few word texts that he sent to you after the whole ordeal:
Didn't get accepted.
Heartbroken.
Bar.
You found him standing in front of your dormitory building waiting for you, awkward looks of both omegas and betas glancing at him. As you approached him, he took a few steps towards you and almost collapsed in your arms as you held them outstretched. His tears and snot quickly dampened your jacket, his body wracking out heaves of anguish. There wasn't an alpha in the world that you've seen so vulnerable before, his fists gripping your clothes tightly as he shook in sadness.
He started telling you what had happened once he somewhat composed himself, his voice weak and crackly as the two of you walked to his chosen bar. Unfortunately, she turned him down and told him that she was actually interested in some beta from Paradis Tech named Armin. You could only imagine the bouquet dropping to the floor in dramatic fashion, tears welling up in poor Bertolt's eyes. She apologized and somewhat comforted him by saying that his confession won't change anything between their friendship. That was good, at least on her side.
You started consoling him, rubbing his back in circles as he drunkenly wept on the polished wood after downing one too many tequila shots. The speed in which he drank each one was shocking to say the least, you don't think his glass touched the table since he picked it up.
"We've known each 'ther shince we were kitss." He hiccupped, head resting in-between his arms as he tearfully stared in the distance and dangled the shot cup in his fingers.
"If I shaid sumnthin 'ears ago, would she hab 'ccepted me — or or or — shill reject me because of awer shub-genda?" You pitifully stared at his crumpled form, not knowing what to really say to make him feel better about the situation. The bartender then took his glass from Bertolt and told you to take the poor guy home, shaking his head slowly as he quietly whined about getting cut off.
"C'mon big guy, let's get you back."
The walk was quiet besides the occasional sniffle and you could tell he was trying not to fall on top of you, his feet slowly dragging on the concrete. As the designated sober friend, you were carefully observing him, a hand firmly holding the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He stopped suddenly, the sounds of his sneakers squeaking.
"Y/N."
"Hm?"
You turned your attention towards him, tilting your head to the side.
"If I wazzn'tin love wif Annie, I'd be sooooo in love 'ith—"
Bertolt then jolted to the side of an alleyway before he could finish what he was saying and started throwing up. It prompted you to quickly go by his side and hold him up, patting hard on his back to get it all out. You knew what he was going to say and you hated it. He's drunk and sad, nothing that came out of him was going to be honest.
"Don't say that Bertolt." You mumbled, lifting him back up once he finished and slinging his arm over your shoulders.
"I'm not going to be a replacement for you."
He reached over with his other hand, skin cold around the nape of your neck as he pulled your face towards his. You could smell the alcohol lingering in his breath, face cringing when you saw a bit of spittle still hanging off of his lips. He started saying something even more incoherent, his eyes beginning to close in hints of slumber.
"No, no, no. I... I swer'lve ewtoo."
You laughed softly as you shook your head in amusement, pulling him forwards. He really won't remember this at all. Bertolt finally fell silent, the occasional drunken groans slipping through if you tugged him too roughly.
Maybe in another world, if you had met Bertolt before Reiner...
You made the decision to take him to your dorm. The dormitory building was way closer than the frat house he lived in, and you'd rather not lug around his heavy body another ten blocks to get there. Never in your life you had thought you'd be sneaking in a giant of an alpha into the shared beta-omega dorms, but you wouldn't be the first to do so. It's a good thing his scent was currently dulled with alcohol or you'd be in more trouble trying to hide him. Quickly unlocking your door and taking him over to your loveseat, you watched as his body slowly relaxed into the cushions.
He was simply way too tall for the seating, his legs dangled off of the side of the couch as you adjusted him to a positioning that would prevent any risk of asphyxiation if he started throwing up again. You highly doubted that he had anything left in him, but it was good to be on the safe side. You lightly pinched his cheek, getting a change of clothes and headed towards the bathroom.
You checked on him once more before going to bed, a light snore coming out of him. Seems like he's all tuckered out and okay for now, the hangover is definitely not going to be pretty in the morning. You settled yourself into your sheets and turned the lights off, soon falling asleep.
The sound of your alarm on your phone blared in your ears, arms trying to pull out from underneath the blanket to turn it off but you didn't move an inch. Groggily opening your eyes, you saw an arm wrapped around your body, your mind not registering what was going on until you heard the soft sounds of breathing on top of your head. You turned your head slowly to the couch, the connection finally being put together when you saw his body wasn't lying there.
He started to rouse from his sleep when the alarm kept sounding off, an annoyed hiss slipping through his lip as his head lifted up from yours, reaching over himself to shut it off.
"Good morning big guy." You whispered as he settled back next to you, lightly squeezing you closer to him as if you were his pillow.
Bertolt grumbled quietly. "What time is it?"
"According to my alarm, maybe 8:05 in the morning." You tried to get up to get him water and something for his headache, but he didn't budge an inch. The two of you laid with each other, basking in the morning warmth quietly.
"Sorry for getting in bed with you, I tried finding a blanket but didn't want to wake you up."
"It's fine," You hummed quietly, turning your body towards him. "You okay though?"
He opened his mouth but closed it, falling silent as he slowly began to think. He turned on his back, staring at the white ceiling.
"Not really. Everything still hurts and I'm tempted to cry even more but... I don't know. Some part of me feels... relieved? If I never told her, I'd still be stuck in a loop worrying whether I'd ruin something between us and keep having this twist in my stomach whenever I see her with someone else. I'm glad that she found someone that she's happy with but..."
Bertolt put his forearm over his eyes, letting out a soft laugh.
"But why do I still want her?" His voice cracked, a tremble following the end of his words and once more, you wrapped your arms around his torso. You could smell his sadness, a heavy and misty petrichor filling the room in waves.
"Sometimes there's things that we desperately want to have but can't have. Irrational as it is, it's in our nature." You mumbled, your hands balling up in his sweatshirt.
"Like you with Reiner?" Your blood ran cold as he said that but you merely pushed your face into his body.
"I don't know."
In the end, Reiner managed to find you and ask you to his game. You texted Bertolt, asking how was he able to get your location after being almost MIA for months. Apparently when you and him finally snuck him out of the dormitory, it completely slipped his mind that he had to wash off like usual. When he entered the frat house, Reiner greeted him but stopped midway, quickly approaching him and grabbing his shirt collar roughly.
He demanded me to tell him where you were. I'm so sorry Y/N, I couldn't stop him and our team needs the both of us playing.
You stared at the text, almost throwing your phone in frustration. You should've said no, had firmly stood behind your decision. Yet, the second his pheromones reached your nostrils, you couldn't stop yourself from agreeing, even if you were trying to look angry at him. You've noticed it had gotten stronger than before, was it because you haven't seen him in a while? You couldn't even be mad at Bertolt, you'd be terrified out of your mind too if an alpha was demanding an answer from you like that.
It's only for a few hours, you thought as you took in a slow breath. After that, he'll finally leave you alone.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
Reiner picked you up earlier than usual. It was about 5:10 when you heard a knock at your door, causing you put down the lip gloss before you even could apply it. Shuffling over and peeking through the peephole, you saw him standing there in a suit and tie. He cleaned himself up, the stubble he once had when he found you was completely shaven away and his blond hair was slight slicked back with gel.
"You're early." You muttered as you opened the door, keeping it barely ajar. He's not even supposed to step foot in the dorm, nervousness crawling up your spine. His pheromones hit you like a train, practically everyone that was walking down the dorm hallway could smell him, heads turning in your room's direction.
"I wanted to see you." He grinned, pushing the door open even more — nearly knocking you over — and handing you a bouquet of morning glories, camellias, and forget-me-nots. As you were staring at the mostly red flowers, almost a complete eyesore with the addition of the light blue petals that peered out from within, he waltzed in your safe haven without your permission.
"Hey! Reiner, you can't just—!"
You groaned as you exasperatedly followed after him, placing the bouquet down on your desk. His form was absolutely massive compared to the entire room, his head constantly turning towards the different decor that you hung up on the walls.
"I've never seen your dorm on the inside before, it's cute. It's... you." He softly mumbled, your face turning warm. You grabbed his sleeve, trying to tug him out of your space so you can get ready, but he stopped in the middle of the room, his attention honed in towards the messed sheets of your bed.
"Reiner," You started, your eyes following to where he was looking at. Your heart nearly stopped in your chest when you smelled a burning anger occupy the space — a smoldering, cindering scent — nearly making you cover your nose from how horrible it was. You gulped, hand slipping out and down to your side in a fist. "Reiner, w-we... we didn't do anything."
He just stood there silently, still focused on your bed. He has every right to be angry, you were literally snuggling with his best friend this morning, but you didn't belong to him. Scummy as it was, you made your bed and laid on it, there was nothing he could change about it.
"I-I'm just going to get ready." You whispered, turning around to go back into the bathroom. Big mistake.
Large hands grabbed your wrist, dragging you around in a speed that you couldn't comprehend. You almost screamed as he threw you on the bed, Reiner following after you and trapping you beneath him, his leg in-between yours. Fear was pouring out of you in waves but he couldn't smell it, no one could.
It took him little time and effort for him to press his lips against yours, your eyes wide as you soon realized what he was doing. You tried moving your mouth away, a scared and little no slipping out but he caught you again, his hand gripping your chin and forcing your head to stay in place. You tried pulling at his suit, squirming and kicking your legs, anything to get this monster off of you, but he didn't budge, seemingly finding enjoyment in your weak attempts as he pressed himself deeper against your lips.
His knee nudged at your cunt, a muffled, surprised gasp coming out of you, letting him enter your mouth even more. A shiver ran up your spine as you felt his tongue run against yours, the wet muscle violating wherever he went in a meticulous fashion. You could barely breathe, the smell of him and the aftershave he had on was so intense that you could feel the tug of your omega side slipping through the cracks of your mind; not even your medication was able to stop you from feeling this way.
Reiner finally pulled away, a mix of each other's saliva connecting the two of you. Strands of his gelled back hair fell over his forehead, your once-brushed out hair tousled into a mess. Both of your breaths were uneven and heavy, his eyes low and dazed as he stared down at you. Tears were running down your face, ruining what you've already put on, your eyebrows scrunched together in absolute horror as you shared the same stare with him. He sniffed the air once, again and again as he neared your neck.
"Stop, stop, stop." You cried out as you pushed against his stubborn head, fearing that he would bite down on your scent gland.
He didn't make any move, only sniffing at you like a curious dog. He then pressed his lips against it, causing you to abruptly stiffen in horrid expectation.
There was no pain as he pulled away from you, your hand immediately shooting to your neck to feel for any welts or marks. Nothing. A simple kiss was all he did on it, and you couldn't help but feel appreciative that he didn't mark you.
"Don't you dare see Bertolt ever again, you understand?" He hissed into your ear, the threat echoing hollowly in your head. No way in hell were you going to listen to him, but the omega in you nodded slowly, his heavy body finally lifting off of you. You tried to ignore the imprint straining against his lower half, your eyes staring up at him in complete shock.
"Go get yourself ready."
Shakily getting up on your feet, you beelined towards the bathroom without a single word, nearly collapsing on the floor once you turned the lock. As you looked at your face in the mirror, dripping dark drops of mascara and eyeliner stained the apples of your cheeks. The lipstick that was once there, was now rubbed away, leaving nothing but your bare lips. Your hand trembled as you reached over for a makeup wipe, a quiver of a sigh coming out of you.
You wanted to throw up, get every bit of spit and slobber of his out of your system, but you couldn’t. He’d hear you.
Reiner brought one of his jersey's for you to wear once you came out of the bathroom with fresh casual makeup back on, and you could tell that the article was completely drenched in his scent. You sniffed at it gingerly as you held it in your hands, cringing away from the sweet vanilla smell.
"What? It's clean, I promise."
"Liar." You mumbled under your breath but pulled it over the shirt you wore, the fabric loose against your body. He took a quick minute to admire you in his clothing, placing his hand on your cheek and stroking the skin with his thumb. You could still see the red stain of your lipstick smeared on his lips, trying to fight back tears and a sneer.
"You look so fuckable right now," You bit the inside of your cheek as you watched the tip of his tongue licked across his bottom lip, the darks of his pupils reflecting an unhinged licentiousness that horrified you within every atom in your body. "Maybe tonight, when I win, I'll be getting another trophy."
"Don't forget our deal asshole," You finally spat out, ripping his hand off of your face in disgust. "I'm only going to your stupid game because of the promise you made this morning."
Reiner simply stared down at you, your nerves scrambling even worse than before. He finally scoffed, crossing his arms. "Right. Our deal."
You hated the fact that he basically was acting like he didn't just forcefully kiss you, your nails digging into the palm of your hand. "Can we go now?"
He checked his phone, huffing slightly. "Yeah. Don't worry, we're not that far to the stadium. Just a few traffic lights and we'll be there."
You felt all the color drain from your face. You thought it was close by in walking terms but now you had to be in a small space where it now completely smells like him? Might as well hold your breath the entire ride.
The short drive was quiet, some random old rock station was lowly playing on the radio, but the two of you didn't speak to each other. What would even be exchanged anymore? You didn't want to be associated with him so long as you walked on this planet. Reiner's fingers thrummed on the wheel, red spilling into the car and staining every surface within. He turned towards you as if he wanted to say something and you stared back, a chill running down your spine. No words were said, but you felt every little thing from his smell.
Ravenous, a voracious appetite for the predator in disguise. Right in front of him, a five-course meal just ripe for the picking. All he's doing now was waiting for you to back into an inescapable cliff, the perfect moment to finally strike.
"...You have to go." You whispered and he finally broke eye contact, staring at the traffic light above and accelerating.
"Yeah, right."
The silence once presumed until the two of you approached the stadium, him mentioning that he got you a seat near the rink so you could see the action up close. To be honest, you could care less about the game and who would win overall. Reiner handed you the ticket between his index and middle finger, but when you reached over to grab it, he took it back.
"Need a good luck kiss from you first. If this is the last time I'll get to see you, I want to make it last."
You didn't want to rile him up before he played or make him force his hand upon you in the car, so you planted a quick kiss on his cheek before grabbing the ticket from his hand simultaneously. "Okay. Done. Good luck or whatever."
You scrambled out of his car, making your way to the inside as soon as possible. The arena was louder than you thought once you stepped foot, the joyous chatter and screams echoing throughout the hallways. LED screens hanging from the ceiling flashed the words Marley Warriors vs Paradis Titans, showing the line-ups of each team member.
Reiner came first in the centers, his pose prideful and boasting with stats to match. The other three names that you noticed were Porco Galliard, Colt Grice, and Eren Kruger. You eventually saw Bertolt come up as one of the right wingers but no sign of his usual reserved side showed in his photo, he looked focused and tough more than anything else. One of the goalies was an older looking individual by the name of Zeke Jaeger, confident but not too boasting. Clips of their past games showed afterwards, showing their amazing teamwork and impressive previous goals, then moving on to the other team.
The main centers for the Paradis Titans were composed of four men; Eren Jaeger, Jean Kirschtein, Levi Ackerman, and Miche Zacharius. Was the Eren guy related to the other Jaeger on your university's team? They definitely didn't look alike in your opinion but it could simply be because of a crazy Punnett square. Some wingers and defensemen that you sorta paid attention to were Armin Arlelt, Hange Zoë, Floch Forster, and Connie Springer. The goalie on their team was a massive blond man named Erwin Smith, his photo exuding a powerful stance, maybe even more than your uni's goalie. You felt like Reiner's team might have some trouble facing them, their defense and attack seems pretty threatening.
You finally took a glance at your ticket, walking around trying to find the stairway for your seating. The smells of popcorn, melted cheese, and hotdogs filled your nose, but you didn't feel hungry at all, still sick to your stomach from what had happened earlier. Eventually you finally found where you were supposed to go, and if you thought it was loud in the other shell of the arena, finally stepping in the seating area and the rink was absolutely ear-breaking.
Sirens, music, screaming, loud announcers. Almost every unbearable sound was contained in the structure, you should've bought earplugs prior to this. Not to mention, every scent of maybe hundred alphas and omegas intertwined made you feel even more overwhelmed, a headache beginning to form.
It's only for a few hours, a few hours and you'll never see this place or him ever again.
Your seat was nearby Reiner's team, nearly in-between the other team as well, the other teammates chattering with each other. You've sorta recognized them, occasionally seen around campus and such. Heads and eyes of strangers from school nearby were somewhat turning towards you, even the team started to notice you walking up behind them. Your face burned up at the realization once you sat down. Shit. You had completely forgotten that you were wearing Reiner's heavily scented jersey, you might as well be showing off the mating mark that he could've made a few hours ago.
"Yo Braun's omega is here!" One of the team members called out and you almost hid your head in your hands in embarrassment. Oh God, don't say that.
"Y/N, you made it?" The most recognizable voice cleared your thoughts immediately, head perking back up with a wide smile.
"Bertolt!" You wanted to hug him but he recoiled back as if you were a stranger, his nose scrunching. Your face fell immediately, his gaze sinking down in shame when he noticed your crestfallen expression.
"Sorry, it's not you. It's... y'know. That." He nudged the bottom of the jersey with the end of his stick, a frown forming on your face.
"I know. He made me wear it." You frustratingly tugged at the fabric with one hand and he chuckled, ruffling the top of your head. You'd burn it on the spot if you could.
"I didn't make you wear anything babe, you've always liked wearing my clothes." The sound of his voice made you freeze in place, eyes wide as your head turned in the direction of where he was walking in. Bertolt followed suit, his hand retracting away from you as if you were suddenly a hot stove.
"I don't think I could follow up your end of our deal if you're not respecting my demands, omega." No. That was never part of the agreement. You just gave the okay so he'd get off your back about it. He genuinely couldn't be serious about not seeing Bertolt anymore, right?
"Don't be an asshole Reiner. She's not just an omega."
The blond scowled at his friend, shoving his helmet roughly against his chest. He pushed it off of him, staring the other down in a sneer. You've never seen Bertolt like this before, the usual rain smell he had was turning stormy and bitterly furious.
"Oh, I'm the asshole? I wasn't the one hiding my fucking mate from me for months and sleeping in her bed. Not to mention, what happened to Annie or did you get tired of another alpha that's better than you?" You internally winced for him, that was such a low blow. Bertolt looked stunned for a second, glancing over at you for a quick second, but he pushed his shoulder back roughly in return.
"Don't bring Annie into this Reiner, this is about my friend. Did you really think she'd let you — of all people in this school — mark her when you act like a conceited asshole? She's not your fated mate. You've proven that over and over again that she's going to be like the rest, you knotheaded fuck."
You gasped at the sudden insult, a vein nearly popping out of Reiner's forehead but he didn't say anything more, pushing past Bertolt and shouldering him roughly with a scowl. You didn't mean for them to start an argument with one another, the game hadn't even started and tensions were already high. The Paradis Titans team weren't hiding their amused stares, the Eren Jaeger guy whispering to the short haired, bowl-cut blond next to him; Armin, you think. The murmurs of strangers behind you made you feel sick, hearing the word knottease being tossed around, the horrid word directed towards you.
You started to apologize profusely once Bertolt turned towards you, but he simply held out a hand, patting your shoulder as you stopped.
"Don't be. Someone needed to say it to him, maybe this fight would finally clear his head."
"But the game Bertolt, I—" You started but he interrupted you once more.
"I don't give a shit about the game if you're the one being hurt. You matter more than hitting a puck around, okay?" If you weren't wearing Reiner's jersey, you'd hug him right now. He smiled and put his helmet on, leaning close to you to whisper something in your ear.
"By the way, don't listen to the jerks behind you. You're nothing like that, you're going to be something great." He backed away once the horn started, walking over to the entrance to the ice rink to join his team. Good luck, you wanted to say because if anything, he'll need it when he gets into the arena with a monster in tow.
‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’
If you thought Reiner was bad in practice, his violent playstyle was nothing compared to when he's in an actual game. How on Earth this sport was approved to play for anyone, you had no idea. All you could hear was men yelling at each other and slamming each other to snatch the slippery little puck, fans behind you hollering just as loudly.
Both Reiner and Bertolt had seemed to forgive each other on the court, winning being the only thing on their minds. Just like in practice, they didn't have to say anything to get the point across, making passes and attempted shots whenever they had the slightest of openings. The two Galliards seemed to be more communicative with one another, defending the goalie whenever they could with short barks of commands. They were good but Eren Jaeger seemed to be the rookie ace of the Titans, managing to push through and score in the most impossible scenarios.
You could tell he was aggravating them, putting them in a corner while constantly taunting them with a one-liner or a smug smile as he scored. An angry alpha was something not to mess with and putting a whole group of them against other alphas who were mocking them for their failures? It's obviously an immediate recipe for disaster.
Intermission came around, the score against the Warriors by two. As the teams were talking to one another to plan out their next attack, you watched the Zambonis slowly smooth out the ice again. You paid no attention to them and their chatter, you wouldn't have made sense of it anyways.
"Hey," You looked around for the source of the voice and finally down, seeing bright turquoise-blue and a mess of brown hair standing below you. He smelled sharply fresh, like the first bite to a mint leaf and drinking cold water afterwards. It wasn't necessarily bad like most in the arena, just made your nose crinkle a little from the suddenness of it. "Eren Jaeger."
"Oh- um... Y/N. Aren't you supposed to be talking to your team?"
He waved his hand dismissively towards your statement, crossing his arms with a smile. "Nah, there's nothing else that's new with the planning. You, however, are the talk of the arena."
Your cheeks flushed warm, the temptation of burying yourself alive later on growing more and more, but you grimaced instead. "So what? You wanted to see if I'm what they say I am?"
Eren shook his head, taking a few steps closer towards you. "I'm not talking about the knottease comments, I'm talking about the Reiner Braun's mate comments. Is it true?"
"No! Of course not!" You exclaimed in shock, but the subtle-not-so-subtle glance downwards towards your attire seemed to make him doubt you otherwise. You tried defending yourself about it without revealing much about the twisted relationship you actually have with Reiner.
"This is just because he thinks he's claimed me and we've made a deal. I have no other choice."
"Is it now? Well then," He pointed towards himself with a thumb, his grin growing even wider. "When I win, wanna go on a date with me after this?"
How many alphas were gunning for you right now?! You knew that you took your suppressants today after Bertolt left your dorm so how come this was happening to you? The absolute balls on this man, especially since he was thinking that his team had already won. You wearily shook your head, you've had your fill of pestering alphas for the rest of your schooling life.
He looked dejected for a second but perked up immediately, the buzzer of the timer echoing throughout the arena. You thought that was that and began to turn your attention towards your college's team, but then he called out a 'head's up', tossing something in your direction. You caught it in surprise, looking in the palm of your hands and finding a keyhole shaped earring.
"Keep it! For the next time we meet!" Eren waved you goodbye and jogged over to his side of the team, high-fiving and chattering with his friends before putting a helmet on. You let a small smile slip out, he may be a little cute but there was definitely no way you were ever going to see him ever again. You safely tucked it into your pocket, finally looking towards the Warriors.
He was watching you. Of course. There was a livid look in his eyes, his brows scrunched even more in irascibility and his teeth were bared, perhaps even grinding together in this current moment. You paled at the thought of them sinking into your neck like some kind of rabid animal. Reiner was barely human anymore, you realize. Any loving gaze that he had before for you was nothing more but a dangerous hunger.
All you could hope was for the Warriors to win so he would be in a decent mood to finalize the goodbyes, and you'd pray for the Titans for the brutality that they're about to endure because of his horrid attachment to you.
The players slid into the ice once more, the deafening cheers of everyone growing louder and louder as the second half of the game was beginning to start. The referee smoothly made his way between the two masses of men, Reiner staring down coldly into the clear mask of Eren. Like a coin flip, the puck was thrown highly into the midst of them, their eyes following it as it made its way down to the icy ground.
Click.
In a snap of a finger, the sound of sticks bashed together once the puck bounced off of the surface. Like a choreographed dance, the rivals whirled with one another, swinging and twisting their bodies around in order to get ahold of the very thing that might as well be the trophy itself. The intensity of the game was now at an all time high that even you started to pay more attention to it, the hairs on your arms raising in anticipation.
The puck swung back and forth like a pinball, but the Warriors managing to catch up to a tie. It was starting to become a standstill again however, taunting chants coming out from the people in the stands, jeering at the anyone that opposed their team. Players were being switched out on both teams during timeouts but few remained on the ice, a tense aura between the three.
Reiner, Bertolt, Eren.
Bertolt took a few glances at his friend, tapping the end of his stick with his and seemingly started to exchange words with him from what you could see. Who knows what it was about; the game, the enemy team, you. He only lifted his fist up, letting the other return it in a similar gesture and that seemed to calm the black-haired male's nerves.
Reiner's eyes were lasered in on Eren for the most part, gripping the handle of his stick tightly and swiping it around on the ice as if he was practicing a shot. He was truly unrecognizable, a shell of the man that once followed you around like the world's most clingiest puppy dog. You knew he wanted to show-off, his pride was at risk to a girl that he believed he owned for months. Disgusting and typical.
Eren seemed the most lax out of all of them, leaning against the plastic border as fans behind him fawned over him. He seemed not to care about Reiner's burning glares at him, waving across the rink to seemingly you. He seemed nice, but it was obvious that he had more intentions than just wanting to befriend you.
The whistle sounded and the game began once more, the men skating themselves back to the middle. You checked how much time was left on the clock, ten minutes. Ten more excruciating minutes and you were going to be finally free.
" 'Round it now!" You could hear Reiner call out to Grice as he suddenly slammed his complete weight into enemy Jaeger, their eyes meeting as the others chased after the puck. They went after it as well once he recovered from the blow, but it looked like they started talking and you managed to spot a furious glint glazing over his hazel eyes.
He suddenly threw his stick out onto the rink, ripping off his gloves and grabbing Jaeger's shirt by the collar in frightening speed. Reiner was undeniably experienced with his punches, uppercutting him from below the mask. It toppled off of his head, falling to the ground with a crack, and Eren was stunned for a second, just for a single second. He was unable to completely process what had happened before the bigger male tackled him to the cold ground, the deafening sounds of heavy bodies slamming into the ice made the arena stand still.
The referee was too afraid to intervene but blew the whistle immediately, and hundreds of people watched the Reiner Braun brutally dig his knuckles into his face. Fresh crimson spilt down on the ice in splatters and you were forced to witness him weakly trying to stop him, protecting his face as much as possible to no avail. Bertolt immediately tried pulling him off of him, shouting at him that he needed to stop but it was like he was in a trance, almost attacking him in the process.
He finally was pulled off of Eren by the goalie of Warriors — furiously throwing his own punch into his face — and the poor boy having to be quickly removed from the rink on a stretcher. Reiner was pinned to the ground by multiple individuals and given a tranquilizer, his body soon relaxing and slumping over. They put him on a stretcher as well, his hands and legs bounded together and his mouth wrapped with a cloth rag. He was still slightly conscious, his calm and woozy stare meeting your horrified one.
The game had to continue without them but you had already left, not knowing the result. You felt too nauseous from smelling the sheer fear and panic that was coming of Eren, pungent and potent as it filled the air. But Reiner's...
All you could smell was that sickening warmth, a burning sensation in your nares. The same scent from your dorm but that's not at all what made you leave immediately. The sick fuck was happy he was beating into the defenseless guy, exhilarated that his blood was running down his skin and staining the floor, joyful. The nose doesn't lie and you wonder if everyone else caught it too.
Bertolt texted you when he visited Reiner in the hospital, but you didn't respond, busy trying to scrub the remnants of him out of your dorm while tears ran down your cheeks.
He did it for you.
160 notes · View notes
aropride · 1 year ago
Text
the idea that trans men have an easy time passing and all we have to do is "just throw on a hoodie and a binder" is so fucking insane to me. like of my irl transmasc friends who have started medical transition one has been on t for i think 6 years and had top surgery but people still misgender him semi-frequently especially if they can't see that he has a beard. and the other has been on t for well over a year and still gets misgendered most of the time. and i haven't started medical transition yet. but because i'm very short (under five feet tall) and have wide hips i know even after i start t and get surgery i will still be very easily clockable. even if i could afford and safely get every surgery i wanted with a snap of my fingers i wouldn't pass consistently. and i know that will put me in danger for the rest of my life. and i know that when i was in high school i would throw on a hoodie and a binder every single day and i would bind from 6am to 10pm and i know that i didn't pass. and i know that cutting my hair short didn't help. because there is more to passing than just having a flat chest, because there's more to gender roles than whether or not someone has boobs. and i think it's absolutely wild and incredibly transphobic to say that it's "easy" for trans men to pass when most of us don't find it easy. and if you're lucky enough to be able to pass easily and in a space where it is safe to do so then congrats! but that isn't an experience many- and i would guess most- trans men have. and it seems to imply that if you cut your hair and wear a hoodie and you should be able to pass automatically. and if you don't pass it's your fault. rather than that bodies & people's perceptions of them & social roles and expectations are all very fluid malleable things and it's hard for anyone to perform masculinity or femininity the "right" way all the time. let alone trans people. it's just super frustrating rhetoric to be spread around and it makes me want to run off into the ocean to be enveloped by the waves and eaten by violent man-eating stingrays
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etherealstar-writes · 11 months ago
Text
I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 7
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pairings: lionesses x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: seven
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the REAL karate kid
good afternoon losers
and y/n <3
the imposter
hey
willybum
good afternoon you dumbass
and hello to you too y/n
the REAL karate kid
rude
how are you y/n?
the imposter
eh i'm doing fine i guess
stairway
is everything alright
the imposter
i got fired from work today 😔
lotte
what happened?
if you don't mind me asking
the imposter
so i told ya what i do for work yeah?
well i've worked for this company for the past
whole year as their main solo media manager
and then my boss found out that his good old
friend's son was looking for a job and he's also
a photographer and social media manager so he
decided to fire me and hire him instead to
keep his relationship strong with his old friend
the REAL karate kid
that really sucks
your boss sounds like a terrible person
the imposter
yeah he was a really difficult person
i am kinda glad tho ngl
i don't have to see his annoying face ever again
but back to job hunting again 😔
neev
if it makes you feel better
leah got head-shotted in the head
by lessi during training
the imposter
i really hope someone got proof of it
stairway
i gotcha
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maya
HELP
lotte
got K.O-ed lol
willybum
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this isn't funny
i got a full on concussion
i'll get you back russo
the REAL karate kid
not my fault you're a terrible defender 🤷‍♀️
willybum
EXCUSE ME?!
the imposter
dam
them calves 😮‍💨
has anyone ever asked you
to step on them?
neev
um y/n is there something you'd
like to share with the group ...
willybum
weirdly enough yeah
i have been asked that
elton
it was actually just y/n asking
on a secret account
the imposter
don't expose me like that 😩
meado
every time i open this group chat
i get deeply concerned for you all again
i don't even know who y/n is and i feel like
i should be concerned about her as well
the imposter
woah
meado
i thought we were getting along well 😔
stairway
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well if meado is concerned then
i guess she's offering to pay for
our therapy so let's go gang
the imposter
also
why do guys always train and
play football together?
elton
oh you know
we just like to play football together at times
stairway
yeah
it's fun
the imposter
okay ....
who am i to judge
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE LION KING SQUAD
russo
uh
so guys
i have done something
toone
oh no
that is never a good sign
le tissier
okay i'm intrigued
this is gonna be bad
wubben-moy
the fact that she's using the group chat
without y/n is not a good sign
stanway
is she about to introduce her new wife
to us or something? did you like run away
and get married in vegas or something?
charles
we literally saw her yesterday georgia
so if she had then that would be
insanely impressive
toone
is that why you weren't at training today?
greenwood
ella looked very lost today
it was worrying
russo
yeah
i ran away with y/n and we got married
toone
HUH
stanway
WHAT
charles
EXCUSE ME
russo
OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOTS
not yet anyway 😏
but back to the point
leah was also in on this
bright
oh like that's any better
williamson
excuse me??
wubben-moy
here we go
russo
okay
so
you know how y/n's looking for a job yeah?
well leah and i thought we'd put in a
good word for her in our media admin so
that you know .... maybe she can get
offered a job here and you know we can
actually meet her and get to know her irl ....
stanway
that is actually ....
the most decent idea i've heard from ya
charles
yeah fr
hemp
oh my god y'all are such simps
stanway
shut up
toone
i do wonder when y/n will find out about
who we are or if she ever will
charles
nah she's got to find out soon with
the euros starting next week?
williamson
i reckon we tell her after the euros
wubben-moy
well that shall be eventful
part eight here
635 notes · View notes
pro-sipper · 6 days ago
Note
I understand that we should just block content we don't wanna see, but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private. Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia. This content may expose them to predators, which could cause them harmful trauma, the type that people claim to use proshipping for. They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions. We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids. And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?
Don't want to start anything just curious
I think the short version of the argument is basically "the internet shouldn't have to be a 100% sanitized and safe space for children". But getting further into it...
"but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private."
It's not worth mentioning now but "proships" aren't a thing. Proship doesn't stand for problematic ship, it's not an adjective.
My question is why this line of thinking only applies to ships? Murder and cannibalism are also illegal, but no one's going around saying you should keep your love of horror to yourself, or only watch R rated movies in the privacy of your own home.
"Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia."
The majority of people interacting with media like this, or making posts about this, DO NOT want kids interacting with their content! They slap every rating, warning label, and trigger tag under the sun onto their work to say that it is not for kids. At the end of the day, that's all you can do. It is not one random proshipper's job to shelter every single child in the world.
Furthermore, kids are exposed to that crap from plenty of other places besides randos on tumblr. Walking into a library or turning on a television can easily expose kids to these topics just as much as going onto ao3 or opening tumblr could. That doesn't mean every professional author or tv writer on earth needs to create art that's palatable for children. Because that's not their responsibility.
"This content may expose them to predators"
It's grim to say, but literally anything on earth could potentially expose a child to a predator. Getting on the bus, going to the park, going to school, going to church, going to a friend's house, going home. Honestly I think it's a bit of a privileged mindset to think that a child would be 100% safe in this world if it weren't for faceless boogeymen online committing the sin of writing dark fic of their Blorbos.
"which could cause them harmful trauma,"
Again, that trauma could come from anywhere. And you're putting the weight of preventing that onto random strangers online, not anyone who's concretely in the hypothetical child's life, or actually responsible for them
"the type that people claim to use proshipping for"
Appreciate the subtleties of invalidating other people's trauma. Just because you don't have the same coping mechanisms doesn't mean theirs are invalid. Especially when countless licensed therapists agree that writing is one of the better ways you can help process trauma.
And to state the obvious, you don't need to have trauma to be a proshipper. Not everyone uses dark content for self reflection, some people just think it's neat.
"They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions."
A kid should not be getting 100%, or even most of their life lessons from fictional media. Parents, guardians, teachers, and other trusted adults in a child's life are the ones who need to teach them right from wrong, and how to protect themselves. I remember being a kid and being told by my mom "now if a stranger pulls up to you and says they lost their puppy and they'll give you candy if you help them look for it, do NOT go with them". That was her job as a parent.
Now I know that sadly, not every child has that kind of trusted adult in their life. But it's not the responsibility of a bunch of fanfic authors on tumblr to fill in the gaps.
"We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids."
It doesn't matter how closely or loosely fiction depicts our reality, it's still just fiction at the end of the day. Movies have been using the whole "Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental" disclaimer for almost as long as there have been movies.
"And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?"
One, art is not illegal. Unless you get caught graffiti-ing, then you might get fined. And no one is saying this kind of thing can't affect a child. But why, in this scenario, are you putting the blame on fanfic authors and fanartists before putting the blame on the actual groomer??
And again I ask, what exactly is "proship media" anyway? I'm guessing the kind of stuff that constantly appears on people's DNI lists, which could be anything from Steven Universe to Cannibal Holocaust, so who really knows??
Like I said in the short version, the internet should not have to be sanitized for the sake of the children. The entire internet does not need to be one giant safe space for kids. Adults have a right to talk about adult things with other adults. To explore dark topics in fiction, or to have fun with taboos in a harmless way.
I want the world to be safe for kids too. But the way to do that isn't to forbid adults from posting shit online. Instead of trying to shield children from every controversial, difficult, or uncomfortable topic under the sun, give them the tools they need to learn how to process these things.
Be a safe person to talk to if a kid has a question. Help them understand why something might be okay in a fantasy setting, but it's not something that should carry over into real life (like, a fairy tale prince kissing an sleeping princess to break a curse is fine, but in real life where there's no magic you should always make sure someone is okay with it before kissing them. Something like that)
Teach them internet safety, above all else. When I was a kid, you didn't give out any personal info. Nowadays kids have no qualms about giving out their full name, age, list of phobias and disorders, showing their school, their house - the list goes on.
Honestly, I think we need to go back to scaring kids with Stranger Danger, at least a little. But that's starting to veer into a different topic and I think I've said all I need to say about this one today.
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freakcliff · 8 months ago
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x men tumblr dashboard simulator
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bluebabadee
THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR NON-HUMAN PASSING MUTANTS. HUMAN PASSING MUTANTS DNI
10 notes 📌Pinned Post
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sparklejays Follow
based on your likes!
every time I see a human talking about "how cool it would be to have superpowers" or some shit like that I loose it a little bit more. do these people realize that being a mutant isn't just fun powers. like even beyond the shit I deal with trying to get jobs or all the relationships that have been ruined once people realized I'm a mutant. abilities aren't just fun and games, I have a friend who can't touch people without nearly killing them, I burned down three buildings before someone finally taught me to control my abilities, and these people are all like "wouldn't it be great to fly to work every day??" just admit that you see us as comic book characters and not real people with real struggles
#actually mutant #jay .txt
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scamperpamperblog reblogged spocktism
🏙️tilleys-brain Follow
self diagnosing is great and all but most of you people aren't telepaths, you're just hyperempathic
#actually mutant #actually telepathic #hyperempathy #crosstagging i know but some of yall need to see this #tilley speaks #it can be dangerous to go around acting like you know peopels actual thoughts when its just your brain
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oh-you-pretty-things
.
#vent post #sometimes I get really mad at magneto #like I think he's done a lot for mutant rights and stuff #but I'm so fucking tired of everyone assuming that I'm evil just because of my powers #like jesus not all of us are trying to start atomic wars #some metallokinetics just use their abilities to make cool sculptures #but I can't get a spoon from across the room in front of strangers without someone mentioning jfk
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mutantbuffy reblogged muntantpollscentral
🩻mutantpollscentral
*physical mutation meaning something that is ALWAYS physical, not just something you can turn off and on whenever
#ig my mutation IS technically physical its just not visible to people most of the time so i feel weird claiming that #but like i was born with the tattoo marks #the powers didnt come till later tho #so idk which to pick
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sploimsh reblogged jesterjuleses
🎹pussy-truck-faggot
HEY! shout-out to people with *weird* mutations. Mutations that don't look cool, mutations that are gross, mutations that are dirty, mutations that you can't tell people about because they always cringe. You're just as valid as every other mutant out there. Your powers don't need to be palettable to humans for you to be treated with respect.
#THIS!!! #rb
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rosetvler
god i am so tired of the hypocrisy in this community. the double standards are insane. its okay to have 'scary' powers but the moment someone's abilities are scarier than like, pyrokinesis you're evil and dangerous to be around. 'acceptance' for you people only means nice mutants who've never hurt or scared anyone ever.
rosetvler reblogged rosetvler
non-mutants can reblog this btw
#srb #actually mutant #getting real tired of this
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katiedidnt reblogged morelikesexmen
🩻magicsteele27 Follow
okay like. i get that were all about acceptance and pride or w/e but no one in this tag has ever had friends irl i swear. if someone asks you not to read their mind you shouldnt. honestly you shouldnt be using telepathy on people at all without their permission. mutant abilities dont disclude you from respecting peoples boundaries
🌌rosetvler Mutuals
i swear to god you people are such hypocrites. its all 'mutant and proud' until someone has a power you dont like. its always about keeping the humans feeling comfortable instead of thinking about how it feels to never use your powers because theyre breaking 'boundaries' that were made up by humans in the first place
🩻magicsteele27 Follow
dude do you hear yourself right now
🎆jade-the-pyromancer Follow
Hey, I like your point op, but maybe you should stop trying to speak over actual telepaths and let them decide how to use their powers themselves???
🩻magicsteele27 Follow
i. i am a telepath.
#duddeeee telepaths are insane #used to be friends with one SO glad i broke that off before it went too bad
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alazyparallelworld · 1 year ago
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okay guys lets be honest with ourselves here though. like, for a moment,
to viewed & treated as an adult with "moderate/severe intellectual/developmental disabilities" you have to walk across a very thin line.
if you're too eloquent, your means of operation (ADLs, walking, talking, transportation, self-care) are assumed to be good. there is no true Passing, as an ablebodied/ableminded person online. IRL there are tics; there are deformations in the face, hands, that cue people into. "oh, you are not cognitively All There. got it."
if you are comprehensible, then it isn't that bad. you're basically an ableminded (read: normal) person. you're held to impossible standards of behavior, intellect, and motor skills - when you eventually fail their expectations, they react to it as a failure of you, as a person. that you did it on purpose. worse-case scenario, it'll spread that you're faking. your story of difficulty is just a ploy.
and this is if you're perceived and treated as an adult.
if there's visible, evident in text, that There Is Something Wrong with you on a neuron level? you become a kid. people are fascinated that you're online at all (and doubtful of your independence at this, another bell ring of are you faking?)
people mind their words around you. "fragile, like glass," is an understatement. i've had experiences IRL where strangers worriedly stood beside me, wondering where my parents/caregiver was. one woman got into my face, ignored my jolting away and stuttering, and moved my bangs out of my eyes. because it was Bad for me. (don't you know that?)
and that's, in person, when i have an adult's stature and appearance. where my drivers license has my 90s birthdate.
if your speech is broken - either in grammar or illogical - or you use assistive tools like an AAC board, speech to text, people assume that talking is hard for you. you need to be monitored by someone who knows better - you need to do as little as possible. you need to be away from everyone else; it's disturbing to see someone out of the SPED classroom, outside of the assisted living facilities.
and most of the time - even around the most sensitive, kind people and friends - i still fall into one or other binary of functional/nonfunctional. independent/dependent.
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installzoey · 11 days ago
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Ever wonder who's on the other side of the screen making fun of you? Let's take a look today at one prime example!
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This is someone who posts daily to Systems Cringe. Now, believe it or not, I'm not a system - so I don't have a dog in this fight. But what I am is a good human being. So naturally, someone who spends their time 24/7 bullying people online made me go "yuck"!
but.. who are you letting get under your skin? let's recap!
these people spend all day on reddit, discord, and god knows where else discussing and posting about people they look feverishly online for to post (hi, you found my post by accident, but I'm not a system)!
they think the world revolves around them and DID. they think that everybody has a grasp on syscourse and people you meet in real life will ask about your trauma to see if you pass the validity test or not. but no, because you guys have never been outside, here's how it usually goes talking to someone else IRL: "hi, nice weather today, isn't it?"
they're unhappy with their lives and themselves. let's take a look at the example we picked for today's lesson - they constantly post on Reddit, red flag, right? but what they post about shows how pathetic their life truly is
they're obsessed with my spouse, posting them daily, but sorry, we're monogamous! find another relationship to join and crash..
they talk about how the world sucks because nobody notices their art. I would feel bad but.. karma much?
they post yaoi hazbin art and discuss gay hazbin hotel ships. please, don't let a yaoi viziepop shipper ruin your day - they clearly don't have much going for them already. (no offense to viziepop fans.. smh)
they are OBSESSED with character.ai to the point of posting about it regularly as well. I mean, I knew they needed to touch grass, but wow.. make some real friends! your waifu robot doesn't really love you (or exist!)
they're an adult but browse minor-oriented spaces like teenager subreddits - WEIRD much?
they also just have very weird stances which doesn't sit right with me, especially given the above - like defending the option to romance a child in a video game (because she's actually 200000000, duh) and comparing dating someone with DID to dating an anime child.. wow..
and so much more.. horrible takes and sad cries for help...
So what's the point? I just want to remind everyone that the people on the other end of the screen are often super miserable and unhappy with their own lives, riddled with their own flaws, and use others as a punching bag to feel better about themself and project their insecurities on - like this dude! As someone who again is not a system, regardless of any takes on syscourse, bullying is just objectively pathetic. Do better. And if you're a victim of their bullying, don't let them get to you.
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khunyuki · 6 months ago
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"I am not going to fall in love, Yuu. Not until we find a way home"
<Observing Idia>
Sypnosis: You made up your mind not to fall in love the moment you arrived at Twisted Wonderland with your bestfriend, Yuu. With plenty of responsibilities on your shoulders in both worlds, do you even have time for romance? At least that's what you thought... Until a certain someone's actions caught your gaze.
Oneshot Pairing/s: Idia Shroud x reader
Note/s: My no. 1 fav Idia <3 I love youuuu
Masterlist: TOC
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As a magicless student at an all-boy's school like Night Raven College, there are a lot of things you can't do nor can't relate to. The very fundamental thing in this world is magic and that's something you don't have. Being unable to use magic in a magic school has more cons than pros but can you complain? No cuz being in NRC is the only way to keep you, your bestfriend and monster cat safe. That's why it comes as a surprise to you when you found out that there are a lot of people who can't use magic themselves. It's part of the norm so you feel at ease and confident enough to face challenges you normally don't encounter. Magic isn't everything as humans can always adapt to whatever situation they face.
Be it in Twisted Wonderland or your world, there's something that will never change. The inventions created, interests shared, hobbies formed, and many more. It may deviate from your own world but it is essentially still the same. While you can't relate to using magic in your everyday lives, can't properly attend classes like flight, nor can you use it to protect yourself and your friends, there's still something you know you can relate to.
*ping**ping**ping*
Your phone chimed repeatedly as someone seems to have barraged you with text messages. You turned it on to see the person you have plans with that day, your senpai, Idia Shroud.
Gloomurai: Y/N-ssi, raid starts in 10. wer r u?
Gloomurai: come over already
Gloomurai: hurry up
Gloomurai: gonna to start w/o u if ur 2 slow
You looked at the time on your phone, 4:51pm. One minute has already passed so you gotta run. You have plans to play that popular MMORPG at his room where you can use his spare computer.
Nickname: okiokii
Nickname: running as fast as I can
You typed as you literally ran as fast as you can from your initial location at the courtyard to the hall of mirrors so you could get access to Ignihyde. You take twists and turn without getting lost as you always go there to hang out. Once you arrived, you entered without knocking as you know you're the only one he's expecting aside from Ortho.
"Hey, Idia! I arrived in...7 minutes. Wow that's a record"
You cheered as you weren't late yet panted from the sprint. You greeted the owner of the room who was sitting in front of his own pc. There you could see his bright blue hair burning eternally so clearly in the darkness of his room. He turned to face you and pointed at the desktop beside him.
"I already booted the game in your pc"
"Really? Thank you~"
You sat beside him and true to his words, your game is indeed open. Your character can be seen standing besides his inside the screen.
"No prob"
He pulled the strings of his hood as he tried to hide his face from you. While he can hide the blush on his face, he cannot hide the pink tinting his hair. As you started the raid, you couldn't help but think.
Should you try to get to learn Idia more deeply?
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Introducing Idia Shroud
Idia Shroud is the introverted housewarden of Ignihyde. After arriving in Twisted Wonderland, you immediately searched for animes, mangas, and games unique to that world. Due to your immense love, you decided to approach him out of your own volition with the help of his little brother, Ortho. He thought you were one of the normies pretending to like anime but you soon became close friends when you expressed everything you know with the same excitement real otakus have.
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Your Relationship
Your first IRL interaction is at the board game club. It was awkward for him but you didn't care because he was entertaining you back. You soon became inseparable as you two are often in your own world. He even went as far as to set up an old spare pc so you could play together at the comfort of his room. When it comes to your interests, it was only you two who got along so it wasn't a question how fast you became the bestest of friends.
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Observations
It's probably a month after you arrived at NRC when you met. You just finished adjusting to your now life, hastening the process by encountering your very first overblot. You noticed him as soon as you found out about him that you didn't care about what he thinks of you.
Listed below are things you find interesting about him:
Idia has a unique personality
Idia has been frowned upon by people due to his interests in anime and have developed a sharp tongue in his own defense. You could definitely empathize with him regarding that as back in your world, you have also faced challenges due to your interests. You chose to keep it to yourself at the start but have learned that you shouldn't let other people's words bother you. That's why you could understand his defensiveness when you tried to get close to him at first.
He's always so confident behind the protection of his floating tablet or the screen. He would say sassy remarks, insults or whatever is on his mind but when you meet face to face he couldn't even speak a word. You knew he was suspicious of you for trying to get close to him but your relentless pursuit made him crack. He'd berate you for the wrong information you share and correct it. He'd either be rapping his words or muting it so low on he can hear it.
As time passes by, no longer would he say such mean words to you. He's always excited to hear the continuation of the animes you've watched from your world. He would even unleash his keyboard warrior when someone tries to berate you. To others, he may seem weird or creepy but he's actually really kind once you get to know him.
Most of the time, he's pessimistic about himself so you would always tell him otherwise. Even if what he says are true, you still like him and want to be his friend. You'd do your best to comfort him by being by his side and not judging him. Idia isn't a people person nor does he know how to comfort others but if you're not feeling well, he'd try his hardest to make you feel better in the way you can. Like when he offered you to play games with him to release all your stress or simply watch your favorite series together. He won't ask you what's wrong and you appreciate it as he gives you the space you need.
Idia gets flustered really easily
Idia doesn't believe in the compliments you throw his way but when he does, he'd be a blushing mess. As his friend, you didn't like to see him so pessimistic so you'd compliment him whenever you can. All of it are genuine though as you really does think he's a great person that deserves to hear good words.
The way he easily turns red makes you want to tease him. You won't tease him by lying or insulting him, you'd tease him by saying great things about him just to get a reaction. You'd praise him for the little things like when he wins a game he's been grinding for a while. You'd do anything just to see his face, ears and hair turn pink once more.
Idia seems to give you special treatment
You could see this in the way he treats you differently from the others. Mainly because you're close friends that secretly like each other (you admit this but won't act on it). The treatment becomes even better due to you and Ortho getting along really well. You know how harsh Idia's words can be to others and it's in great contrast to his gentle interactions with you. Most of the time, you'd be the only person he'll talk to in the room which others don't really like as he takes most of your attention away. He's definitely smug about it.
If your friends invite you to something you know he'll like, you'd invite him as well. If he doesn't agree, you'll tell him the contents of your trip once you get back. If he does agree to join, you'll keep your attention on him so he won't be left out. If he's feeling unwell, you'll take care of him and move him away from crowds. So he'd repay you by paying for all your expenses for that trip, even the souvenirs or merch that you want.
He knows of your inability enjoy the things you really want to do due to the financial constraints of Ramshackle. That's why he specifically built a pc setup in your dorm and his room just for you as a gift. In your dorm so Yuu and Grim can also use it, mainly for academic purposes, and in his room so you could play together since his internet connection is better. He'd even go as far as to lend you money so you could pull for your favorite gacha banner, or gift you those expensive armors in matching pairs for your characters. It's a bit too much for you as you felt like you're taking advantage of him and his feelings so you reject it but then you'll suddenly see the thing you have your eyes on and he'll make an excuse saying it's your advanced/belated birthday gift.
Idia's intelligence
This is definitely one of the your favorite things about him which leaves you in awe every single time. You remember how he got offered an internship by Olympus Company and how he's being offered by other sponsors for his genius. His talent and expertise in engineering and gaming makes you admire him. Also how he made Ortho when he was just 16, something so complex and hard that you thought many people needed to work on was something he did by himself. You are definitely mindblown by his talents. Add to that when he told you the reason he's allowed to stay in his room during classes as he's practically in charge of NRC's security.
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Dilemma
You knew that from the moment you heard about him and sought him out that you will like him. You can clearly see how he likes you too everytime his hair turns pink around you. The two of you have this sense of comradeship and understanding you cannot find with others. Your interests are aligned which brings you so much joy in this world.
If you weren't trying to go home, you would've made the first move already but unfortunately that wasn't an option just yet.
You decided to just keep these feelings to yourself as soon as you realized it. Even if it was unfair to him, all because you like him yet couldn't pursue him.
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Conclusion
It's been months since you became friends with Idia. Your blatant interest in him was something you try to keep to yourself yet still uncontrollably express. You like him so much that when you saw him just standing so defeated, like he just accepted that he cannot change anything. That he'll be stuck at Styx forever, his curse has no cure, his brother lost, his friends aware of what he's done, him being all alone in this world. You hated it.
Yuu, Grim and the other kidnapped overblotted boys were finally starting to leave the underworld after giving him words of encouragement, expecting him to come back to school soon. You stayed behind to talk to him, getting closer to his lonely figure.
"The rest are leaving. You should go with them"
His voice that resorted to muttering again hurts you, as you can feel the pain hiding behind it. You took his hand in yours and squeezed it, wanting to share your warmth even just a little bit.
"I will wait for you Idia"
You gave him the gentlest smile you could muster as you gazed tenderly at his eyes. His eyes moistening at something he feels like he doesn't deserve. Your affection was overwhelming and he craves it. It hurts but he loves it at the same time.
"So you have to come back to me"
You leaned forward to kiss him on the lips. It was just a peck that lasted for a few seconds yet felt like eternity. You pulled back and hugged him tightly to show that he wasn't alone. You could feel him trembling as he also clung to you, not wanting to let go but you have to.
"I'll see you at school"
You let go of him and started to leave, following the rest who went first, giving you two privacy. You could see it in his eyes how the gears have turned where he has something to look forward to. He touched his lips with his fingers, disbelieving that you just kissed and hugged him. You were there waving him goodbye excitedly at the premise of meeting him again.
He has to go back. Because you'll be waiting for him.
It's a promise
=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=
Note/s: I didn't seem to do well even though I love him so much😭 I'll do better next time. Anyways is this an observation or a drabble cuz it's mixed😂 Pls give me ideas🙏
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olderthannetfic · 3 months ago
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/761793022242504704/i-think-some-of-us-are-so-burned-by-anti-stuff
This is something that I've seen crop up a lot in fandom spaces. My friend had to explain to someone that no, not liking Returnal doesn't mean she's an anti. She can't stomach the depiction of child death because her kid died IRL and it's a lot. Doesn't mean she's an anti. Doesn't mean she thinks Returnal shouldn't exist. It just means she's not into it.
I've had to explain to people that my not liking FNAF doesn't mean I'm an anti who thinks child death shouldn't be depicted in media. I have a 200k long fic where child death is central to the plot. I'm not triggered by it. I'm not an anti who needs to grow up. A game isn't for me. It ain't that deep.
My brother, who watches/reads things but doesn't engage in fandom much, got called an anti while on a date. He doesn't like sex scenes in movies. He always feels embarrassed. The way he explained it, he feels like he's intruding on a private moment. Not once has he ever said sex scenes are unnecessary or shouldn't be in existence or whatever antis say. But not liking them? That's "being an anti" now.
Fandom people need to relearn this: having preferences is not the same as being an anti. Antis want things they don't like to not be allowed to be depicted. Disliking something is not the same as wanting it censored. It's not the same as saying anyone who likes the thing is an IRL predator, or saying it'll normalize bad things, or any other number of anti takes.
Disliking something is nearly universal. Almost everyone has a thing they dislike. If you view disliking something as a red flag, you yourself have that red flag and so does every person you know.
I am once again begging fandom to stop thinking in binaries. Media is not an "if you're not with me, you're against me" thing.
--
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flowery-mess · 2 months ago
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Midnights of October🍁🧡🎃
October 24th
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Friends with benefits with cop!Noah
summary: you and cop!Noah are friends with benefits, he sees you in his uniform at a halloween party and takes you back to his place
warnings: friends with benefits, smut; oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v (use protection irl), mention of handcuffs
words: 2.1k
author's note: this is literally copy and paste from my Ryan Tanner fic, which didn't get much love, because the fandom isn't popular on here, so I decided to slightly edit it and post it with Noah, because I like it. There's not really much about the actual job of police officer, but I'm open to write more for it if you want, let me know😊
taglist: @concreteangel92 @sorrowsofsilence @lma1986 @stardustsirenmelody @dream-machine-love @mrsnoahsebastian (let me know if you want to be tagged or deleted!😊)
Midnights of October masterlist
*
"What the fuck is she wearing?" Noah said with wide eyes when he saw you enter the bar.
31st October, Halloween party at your local bar, location you were both currently at.
You and Noah have been seeing each other since you moved to LA, which was 4 months ago. He needed to get over his ex, you over your ex. You introduced him to the phrase the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. And that's exactly what you two did that night. That's also how you ended up getting under each other regularly and became what someone could call friends with benefits.
Noah is hot decent guy, and good in bed. You always end up at one of your places, have sex, eat food, talk and then one of you leaves. That somehow became an unspoken rule between the two of you, you don't cuddle, and you don’t spend the rest of the night together.
You never said it out loud, but sometimes you imagined what being more serious with Noah would be. He's nice, treats you right, cooks for you, treats other people right, he's a cop who protects people from the bad. He's an ideal guy for a relationship. But Noah never mentioned something like that, so you didn't either. You didn't have feelings for him, but you knew you liked spending time with him.
You knew he would be at this party, so you decided to be a little tease to spice things up tonight, because you knew you two would leave the bar together either way.
Last night Noah was on call and ended up leaving for work when you were at his place, but you left before he came back. You knew for a while that you're costume this year will be a cop, just to see if it does something to Noah. So you took the chance when you saw his spare work belt lying over the kitchen chair. You took things that would get you in trouble out of it. You also took one of Noah’s work shirts in the color blue and left.
Noah took few long steps in your direction and repeated his question, this time directly to you. "What the fuck are you wearing Y/N?"
"Hi there Noah." you smiled teasingly at him and put hands over your his belt.
Noah didn't put much effort in his costume, he was wearing coat with a hat, looking like he fell out of Peaky Blinders episode.
"We're leaving, now." he said through gritted teeth and took you by the elbow, dragging you through the crowd towards the door.
"We're talking about this when we get home, I can't talk right now, because I'm mad at you, you can't even imagine." home, that was all you heard, he said home. He was mad, but he also said home. And it didn't really mean anything because he was going home literally, but it made your heart flutter a bit.
When you two entered his home, he turned around and backed you until your back touched the front door.
"What the hell were you thinking? Stealing from a cop? Part of his uniform?"
You unclipped the belt and handed it to him, then you started unbuttoning his shirt.
"What are you doing?" he asked confused, anger still visible in his eyes.
"It's not stealing if you return it. Here." you put his shirt over the belt in his hands.
"You took my work shirt too?" he looked like he will jump out of his skin any second.
He was so mad that it took him few seconds to see what you were wearing under his shirt, black laced bra. When he connected his gaze with your chest, the anger in his eyes seemed to go away.
"You can write me up, officer Sebastian." you never role played with him and weren't planning on it tonight, you just teased him a bit more.
"Y/N I'm serious, you can't do that. It's dangerous." Noah said, more calm every second. You were too hot for him to be angry, standing in front of him like that.
"Okay, I'm sorry." you placed your hands on his shoulders, took off his coat and then pulled him closer to you.
You couldn't stop staring in each other’s eyes, in silence. He lowered his face to touch your forehead with his, while his nose was stroking yours, gently. He was always gentle with you.
"Kiss me." you whispered. And he did, because you were his soft spot and he'd do anything you asked for.
Slow little kisses turned into passionate kisses in a few seconds, as Noah’s hands were exploring your body as if it was the first time he was touching you.
He lowered his hands under your ass and picked you up, carrying you in the direction of his bedroom. You gently started undoing the buttons on his shirt, taking it off of his shoulders once you managed to open all of them.
Noah put you gently on his bed, his lips never leaving yours, while he hovered over you.
"Noah" you moaned his name as his fingers started moving from your chest to the band of your shorts.
"Mhm." Noah gave you his answer with lips on your neck, sucking at your sensitive skin.
He continued to move his fingers over the band of your shorts, putting them just a bit inside of the band for a few seconds, then pulling them out and moving them over the lace on your bra, teasing your nipples. Teasing. Punishing. For stealing his things.
"Noah, please."
"Please what, huh?" he lifted his face from your neck, with a smirk on his face.
"Stop teasing Noah, I said I'm sorry."
He took advantage of you lifting your hips, which was movement out of pure need for more fraction, and pulled your shorts down. And another second his lips were back on yours and his hand made its way back to your lower tummy, slowly dragging his fingers closer to where you wanted him the most.
He started rubbing your clit over the fabric and put his lips on your left nipple.
"Fuck." you moaned, he always knew how and where to touch you.
When his hand left your core your hips tried to follow his movement. But his hand was already on it's way to remove your bra.
"Hate to say it, but you looked hot as a cop." he threw your lacy bra away and put his fingers in use with your panties.
"You look hot as a cop all the time." you returned the compliment.
He used the hand in your panties to get rid of them and then he placed himself between your legs. He thrives from giving, he’s that good of a guy, so even though he was mad at you earlier, he wanted to pleasure you first. He continued kissing you for few more seconds, then he gently bit at your jaw before he made his way down your body. He hooked your legs over his shoulders while kissing the inside of your thigs. He looked up at you an met caught you watching him.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing, I just like looking at you." you whispered. And it was true, you liked looking at him a little too much than you should.
He continued kissing your thigh until his mouth met your core and your head fell back on the pillow.
Noah’s tongue kept circling around your clit while his hand held your hips down. You put your hand over his and couldn't stop the sounds that were leaving your mouth.
He did few licks from your hole back to your clit, he knew your weakness. He eased the pressure on your tummy with slightly lifting his hand as he flattened his tongue and let you move your hips the way you needed against his tongue. When he heard your breathing quicken, he held your hips still again and worked his tongue over your folds and swollen clit, collecting your juices while the feeling inside you was growing. When your orgasm took over you, your legs squeezed Noah’s head to make sure he doesn’t pull away too soon. You heard him chuckle against you, sending wave through your overstimulated body.
He kissed his way back to your mouth, where you could taste yourself. It was your turn to flatten your tongue as you held his head still and licked his mouth and chin clean.
"That was hot." he said barely above whisper.
"My turn." you said and tried to push him under you, but he sat on his knees and started unzip his jeans while muttering something that sounded like 'next time'. Before you could find out what Noah said he was already lining his hard dick at your entrance.
He slid his dick through your folds few times to collect your wetness and looked in your eyes, searching for confirmation which you gave him with taking his jaw in your hands and connecting your lips with his.
"Fuck baby." Noah let out in a pleasure after he slowly slid into you, lowering himself to his elbows to be close to you. He grabbed you by your chin and connected your lips for a hundredth time this night. He said baby, he said home. There probably wasn't any deeper meaning behind it, but he rarely used pet names for you.
His deep growl snaped you out of your thoughts. Noah’s head was in the crook of your neck, this position allowed you both moan straight into each other’s ears.
"Noah." you moaned his name once more as you felt the tension in your body to grow again. He set the pace as he continued to move his dick in and out of you. It felt different tonight, but you didn’t know if it was just for you, or if Noah felt it too. Sex with Noah was always intimate, but tonight felt even more.
Noah put his hand between your bodies to play with your clit, which wasn't really needed after he hit the right spot inside you that made your walls pulse around him. "I'm going to cum."
"Yeah baby, let go. Cum for me." and that was the last snap. You did come under Noah, tugging at his hair while being moaning mess.
Noah kept thrusting inside you, riding you through your high as he was still chasing his own.
"Y/N, fuck!" was the last thing you heard before he came too.
He collapsed on your chest, his head still in the crook of your neck.
“If you steal my things again, I’m putting you in handcuffs.” Noah said.
“Well, that sounds really terrifying.” You said with visible irony in your voice and made Noah laugh.
Your chests kept moving up and down, enjoying the moment in silence.
"Be mine." Noah said into your skin.
"What?" you tensed a bit, not sure what he meant.
"I don't want you to leave each time after we have sex, I don't want to pretend we're not close when we're in public. I don't want you to steal my clothes, I want you to wear it whenever you want. Be mine, please." Noah raised his head from your neck after he was finished to look into your eyes. “You don’t have to answer right now, or we don’t have to make it official right this second. But I want everyone to know we’re seeing each other, I want you Y/N.”
You slid your fingers through Noah’s hair, pushing them out of his eyes that were looking at you with so much hope. Then gently slid your hand to caress his cheek.
"Are you asking me all of this while your dick is still inside me?" was the only answer you could get out. You both started laughing, Noah got up to throw away the condom, then he put the covers over both of you and you laid on his chest.
"So, what do you say?" Noah started playing with your hair, you could sense he was nervous.
"I'm saying let's give it a chance then." you tried to hide your smile with putting your head under his neck, but he cupped your cheeks and made you look him in the eye.
"Really?"
"Really." that was all he needed to know, he kissed your forehead, then your cheeks, your chin, then finally your lips.
"We're going on a date tomorrow then. And you're staying tonight." Noah said between kisses.
For the first time ever you two took shower together, Noah gave you his t-shirt to sleep in. You fell asleep cuddled together, but you still heard Noah say "But don't steal my uniform again please." before he planted last kiss in your hair.
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