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theartofdreaming1 · 4 years ago

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Katniss, bravely stepping inbetween Gale and Thread (and his whip) - she’s so courageous and protective, she deserves the world 😭

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 7-9 are below the cut. (Is it just me, or are my notes getting longer and longer with each and every post? I swear, this book is so meaty, we’ll soon reach the point where I have to type out the entire chapter, with my thoughts in the margins)

heart

“Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else in unthinkable.��

I think these words are a result of Katniss being so afraid of losing Gale that she’s kinda overcompensating; their relationship has been strained these past few months and they’d just had a row, separating from each other on bad terms - and the next time she sees him, he’s been whipped so bad that he’s lost consciousness and could be potentially dying from his wounds. Of course she’s so terrified of losing him, that she’s holding on as tightly as she can to him. It’s important to keep in mind how important their relationship is to her and we see that in her preceding thoughts: What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely commited, too, to keeping our families alive. Desperate, yet no longer alone after that day, because we’d found each other. I think of a hundred moments in the woods, lazy afternoons fishing, the day I taught him to swim, that time I twisted my knee and he carried me home. Mutually counting each other, watching each other’s backs, forcing each other to be brave. - Gale was the first person who was her equal, a kindred spirit, her partner. After Katniss had lost both of her parents when her father died and her mother succumbed to her depression - the people who were supposed to care for her and guide her through growing up - she was stuck with the role of sole provider and protector of her family at age eleven. She must have been so lonely all this time until she met this boy who understood what she was going through and they learned from each other and shouldered their burdens together, to take off some of the overwhelming pressure. Of course that relationship, of course Gale is important to her. But also now their relationship has become more fragile, after the Games they are in danger of growing apart - it’s got to be so terrifying to feel like the one proper, mutual relationship you’ve had seems to be slipping through your fingers. With everything that’s going on, her entire life as it is teetering on the razor’s edge (heck, the president himself has been threatening her and her family!), it’s no wonder that Katniss is craving that familiarity and safety that her relationship with Gale used to provide her with. And seeing Gale in this state just has her holding on to him more tightly than ever.

mind

Hmm, no big moment is coming to my mind right now; I think I’m always most impressed by the tiny moments that show how tenacious, resilient and fiercely kind humans can be - like Darius stepping forward to stop Gale’s cruel punishment, Leevy volunteering to tell Hazelle about Gale and promising to stay with the Hawthorne children, Madge bringing the morphling, Katniss pressing Darius’s hand in the Training Center, Twill taking Bonnie with her to flee to D13 and so on.

soul

I believe that Katniss was honestly surprised to learn that Gale had feelings for her; she had categorically shut down the idea of entering a romantic relationship for herself, so I don’t think she’d seriously consider anyone being romantically interested in her in return (that’s not how that works, of course, but I think that’s how she perceived the whole shtick). Their kiss threw her completely for a loop and if anything, she mostly saw it as something that contributed to the deterioration of their previous, easy and comfortable relationship.

Chapter 7

A mockingjay is a creature the Capitol never intended to exist. [...] They hadn’t anticipated its will to live. - In a way, the Capitol continues to make this mistake with the people living in the districts, too - underestimating their will to live (opposed to just surviving)

I look in his [Gale’s] eyes. His temper can’t quite mask the hurt, the sense of betrayal he feels at my engagement to Peeta. This will be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. - Okay, we don’t know how much Katniss might be (incorrectly) presuming here, but the idea that Gale might feel betrayal because his best friend is being forced into an engagement pisses me off. It’s fine if he’s feeling jealous because she’s being paired off with Peeta when he wishes he could have a shot with her, but how in the world does this even rate as a betrayal?! A) It’s done against her will and B) Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean Katniss owes him anything when we’re talking about romantic feelings... Ugh 😒 Also, it’s quite noteworthy how insecure Katniss feels about their relationship - she’s constantly worried Gale will drop her and their friendship (waiting for Gale after the camera teams left after winning the Games: I’d begun to think that he’d given up on me in the weeks that had passed.- Ch. 2) and it doesn’t help that she’s been through that extreme, traumatic experience without him and they haven’t had much opportunity to spend a lot of time with each other (with the Victory Tour and Gale having to work so much) and when they do hang out, they don’t seem to really talk much, which doesn’t exactly help...

He [Gale] tosses the gloves on my lap. “Here. I don’t want your fiancé’s old gloves.” “He’s not my fiancé. That’s just part of the act. And these aren’t his gloves. They were Cinna’s,” I say. “Give them back, then, he says. - Gale can be so petty sometimes 🙄

While I talk, [...] [Gale] occupies himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watch his hands, his beautiful, capable fingers. Scarred, as mine were before the Captiol erased all marks from my skin, but strong and deft. [...] Hands I trust. - Oh boy, this moment really shows how these two are at cross purposes right now - Gale’s prepping the food as you would for a toasting (romantic connotation), while Katniss is oberserving his hands, thinking how their hands used to match (not anymore!) and basically wishing herself back into the time before the Games, when things were ‘simpler’/more clearly defined (and also platonic!); there is nothing romantic from her P.O.V. - it’s all about the friendship and trust

[Gale] steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale’s neck to brace myself. He’s laughing, happy. “Hey!” I protest, but I’m laughing, too. Gale sets me down but doesn’t release his hold on me. “Okay, let’s run away.” [...] “You’re sure?” I say. [...] “I’m sure. I’m completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure.” - Yeah, and I’m sure you’re not going to change your opinion in the next five minutes, Gale... In his defense, Gale didn’t know all the details, so in that regard it’s totally valid that he might decide to change his mind after having more input... It’s just that Katniss specifically asks him whether he’s sure and his reply is so full of conviction (100% sure!), only for him to do a complete 180 just a couple of minutes later; Gale’s very hot and cold, which makes for such a harsh contrast when compared to Peeta’s more measured reaction later in the chapter

He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. [...] I don’t try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. “I love you.” That’s why. - Oh man, Katniss just can’t catch a break 😞 Really not wise of Gale to drop the L-bomb here (after, what? a kiss they never talked about and little else... their communication is truly abysmal and it’s really damaging to their relationship, hurting the both of them)

“Gale, I can’t think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, is how afraid I am. And there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don’t know.” I can see him swallowing his disappointment. “So, we’ll go. We’ll find out.” - I mean, honestly, I totally understand where Katniss is coming from - she doesn’t need a romantic interest, she needs a partner, which is why she’s been so eager to talk to her hunting partner, someone she’s used to rely on for survival and now he’s also confounding their relationship by introducing that romance-angle (as if it wasn’t bad enough that her relationship with Peeta got kind of messed up when that same angle was forced upon them prematurely)... Also, telling how Katniss thinks she’d have to be different to maybe even consider a romantic relationship with Gale - Katniss as she is right now just can’t see herself wanting to be with Gale romantically; it would require a change... I’ve got to give Gale credit for still going along with it, and trying to push past his disappointment, though

“My [Gale’s] mother is going to take some convincing.” [...] “Mine, too. I’ll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won’t survive the alternative.” “She’ll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Prim. She won’t say no to you,” says Gale. - That’s interesting, I wonder what exactly Gale means by that? That Mrs. Everdeen won’t say no to Katniss because she feels guilty that Katniss had to go through the Games or because watching her daughter compete in the Games really made her realize how messed up Panem is? Or that she’s more inclined to trust Katniss’s judgement after everything that has happened?

“Haymitch will be the real challenge.” “Haymitch?” Gale abandons the chestnuts. “You’re asking him to come with us?” “I have to, Gale. I can’t leave him and Peeta because they’d-” His scowl cuts me off. “What?” “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how large our party was,” he snaps at me. - Gale doesn’t seem to have realized how close and important Peeta and Haymitch have become to Katniss... maybe because they never properly talked about this aspect of Katniss’s life (I swear, their shoddy communication must account for at least half of the damage their relationship has taken in these past few months alone)

“What if he [Peeta] decides to stay?” he [Gale] asks. I try to sound indifferent, but my voice cracks. “Then he stays.” “You’d leave him behind?” Gale asks. “To save Prim and my mother, yes,” I answer. “I mean, no! I’ll get him to come.” “And me, would you leave me?” Gale’s expression is rock hard now. - Boy, oh boy! I think Gale knows (like Peeta) that Katniss could never leave behind the people she cares about; then, he’s kind of gauging whether Peeta has already received the Katniss Everdeen Stamp of ‘Caring’ - and, as it turns out, he has! And then Gale ends up making it into a bit of competition by asking her whether she would leave him behind (or, alternately, her turning him down has him confused about the depth of their relationship, I dunno); not fun

“There’s an uprising in Eight?” he [Gale] says in a hushed voice. I try to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the districts. - Katniss is going to be about as successful as she’d been at defusing the districts, too - But here we have another example of Katniss trying to rein in Gale’s temper because she’s afraid he’s going to get himself in trouble (like when she decided not to tell him about Snow’s visit to her house because she was worried what he’d do with that information)... It’s really not great that she feels the need to censor herself so he won’t do something dangerous... Katniss knows first-hand how badly impulsive actions and decisions can be received in the Capitol - and she never even meant for a rebellion to happen!

“And it’s my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would’ve happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe. too.” “Safe to do what?” he says in a gentler tone. “Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven’t hurt people - you’ve given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. - Katniss is taking all the responsibility upon herself again... Gale is right to point out that she was merely a catalyst, not the cause for the rebellion - the cause are the awful living conditions of the people in the districts

“Stop it! You don’t know what you’re saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they’re not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people - they mean less than nothing to them!” I say. “That’s why we have to join the fight!” he answers harshly. “No! we have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!” [...] “You leave, then, I’d never go in a million years.” [...] “What about your family?” “What about the other families, Katniss? The ones who can’t run away?” - This discourse is so painful because they are both right - Katniss has seen more of the districts and how things are handled beyond the (relatively tame) confines of D12 and it’s fair that she wants to know that the people she cares about are safe from harm; Gale, of course, has a point commenting that not everyone has that opportunity and the only way to have a long-lasting, wide-spread improvement of their conditions is through rebelling against their oppressor - but that will inevitably come along with sacrifices and collateral damage and it’s easy to say that it will be worth it in the long run, but when those who are hurt/dead could end up being your loved ones, it’s definitely easier said than done

He throws Cinna’s gloves at my feet. “I changed my mind. I don’t want anything they made in the Capitol.” And he’s gone. I look down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Does he think I am now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all fills me with rage. But it’s mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. - Gale getting rid of Cinna’s gloves just because they are from the Capitol is a prime example of this “us vs. them” mindset that he will be (worringly) fast to adopt - of course, perceiving the opposite side as “other” will make it easier to fight against them; however, it’s all too easy to lose sight of your opponent’s humanity when you think like that (think of how Gale has a hard time understanding Katniss’s distress upon seeing her prep team being treated so terribly/inhumanely in D13); Katniss feeling upset that Gale might perceive her as a product of the Capitol instead of its victim is understandable (and isn’t that exactly what the inhabitants of D13 are going to think of Peeta in MJ?) - and yet, she is still worried Gale could get himself into trouble with his impulsivity; she’s a good bean

”Going to town?” I ask. “Yes. I’m supposed to eat dinner with my family,” he [Peeta] says. - I’m tripping over the word ‘supposed’ here - it doesn’t sound like Peeta’s looking forward to hanging out with his fam, although it can’t be that often, since they’ve been away on Victory Tour and he is living alone (maybe the end of the chapter will give us another hint why that is 😒😒)... I can’t help but wonder whether these family dinners are mainly for public perception (in that case... it really is no wonder Peeta is so good at playing the cameras - poor guy had to fool the outside world his entire life) or because they are the only chance for Peeta to hang out with any of the members of his family he might actually want to spend some time with

“Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?” Peeta takes my arm, bringing me to a stop. He doesn’t need to check my face to see if I’m serious. “Depends on why you’re asking.” President Snow wasn’t convinced by me. There’s an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out,” I say. “By ‘we’ do you mean just you and me? No. Who else would be going?” he asks. - Peeta doesn’t just blindly agree to Katniss’s proposal; he needs to know what’s going on first (he has been burnt before - no more secrets!) - and it’s a testament to how well he knows her that as soon as he’s asking whether she meant just the two of them, he corrects himself because knows that Katniss would never leave the ones she cares about behind

“What about Gale?” he says. “I don’t know. He might have other plans,” I say. Peeta shakes his head and gives me rueful smile. “I bet he does. Sure, Katniss, I’ll go.” I feel a slight twinge of hope. “You will?” “Yeah. But I don’t think for a minute you will,” he says. [...] “Then you don’t know me. Be ready. It could be any time.” - Telling how Peeta immediately agrees to the plan once he gathers that Gale won’t come - he knows that Katniss cares about Gale and could never leave him behind, ergo she’d never actually leave under these circumstances - he knows her so well. Also, Katniss’s reaction is like that of a petulant child, it’s kind of funny 😄

“Katniss, hold up.” [...] “I really will go, if you want me to. I just think we better talk it through with Haymitch. Make sure we won’t be making things worse for everyone.” - Ultimately, Peeta would follow Katniss to the ends of the earth - doesn’t mean that he can’t throw in a sensible suggestion in there as well 😉 (Also, in the next chapter we will see how Katniss, Gale, and Peeta might be a little too inexperienced/naive to be able to form accurate expectations of what is to come - Haymitch and his generation have a little more experience in that regard)

He raises his head. “What’s that?” [...] I haven’t noticed the strange noise coming from the square. A whistling, the sound of an impact, the intake of breath from a crowd. “Come on,” Peeta says, his face suddenly hard. I don’t know why. I can’t place the sound, even guess at the situation. But it means something bad to him. - Why does my sweet boy know what a whipping sounds like, Suzanne, huh?! Care to explain that? 😭

Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence. - Peeta was offering his hand to help Katniss up the crate because they are a team (and he’s a gentleman)! It’s only when he recognizes who is receiving those lashes and realizes that Katniss will lose her shit once she knows, which could make the current situation even worse, that he urges her to leave, and he is not the only one to think that: - Voices hiss. “Get out of here, girl.” “Only make it worse.” What do you want to do? Get him killed?”

Chapter 8

It’s too late to stop the arm from descending, and I instinctively know I won’t have the power to block it. Instead I throw myself directly between the whip and Gale. I’ve flung out my arms to protext as much of his broken body as possible, so there’s nothing to deflect the lash. I take the full force of it across the left side of my face. - Katniss is so selfless; she knows that it’s either Gale getting hit again or a lash to her own face and she chooses the latter

“Hold it!” a voice barks. Haymitch appears and trips over a Peacekeeper lying on the ground. It’s Darius. [...] He’s knocked out but still breathing. What happened? Did he try to come to Gale’s aid before I got here? - Haymitch sure appeared quickly - I can easily imagine Peeta taking off immediately to get him (or send someone to bring him to the square) once he knew Katniss couldn’t be stopped; but if Haymitch had been at his house in Victor’s Village, there is no way he’d have made that quickly to the square... maybe he was already at the Hob and had gotten wind of the whole situation? Also, poor Darius! Wearing a uniform/being in some sort of position of power is no guarantee you won’t get punished as soon as you show the tiniest glimpse of compassion - in a place like Panem, nobody is safe from the caprice of the people in charge

I see a flicker of recognition in the eyes of the man with the whip. [...] it wouldn’t be easy to identify me as the victor of the last Hunger Games. Especially with half my face swelling up. But Haymitch has been showing up on television for years, and he’d be difficult to forget. - Getting Haymitch truly was the smartest move to make (which is why I’m pretty sure it was a move on Peeta’s part - he’d know how to use reminders of ‘appearances’ to ensure a punishment wouldn’t go ‘too far’, y’know 😢). But also - Thread must have lived under a flipping rock, to not being able to recognizes Katniss (her face must have been plastered all over the place during the Victory Tour, which just had concluded recently) - or he was just too in the heat of the moment, with someone opposing him, bleugh 😒

“He [Gale] was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man. “He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.” - I love how Peeta’s just laying it down as it is; his phrasing just sounds so factual, rather than provocative (although it is, of course); he really has a way with words - Maybe we’re it. The only three people in the district who could make a stand like this. Although it’s sure to be temporary. There will be repercussions. - Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss working together as a team again! Also, a good example of the effect people with public influence can have

One [Peacekeeper], a woman named Purnia who eats regularly at Greasy Sae’s, steps forward stiffly. “I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad.” “Is that the standard protocol here?” asks the Head Peacekeeper. “Yes, sir,” Purnia says, and several others nod in agreement. I’m sure none of them actually know because, in the Hob, the standard protocol for someone showing up with a wild turkey is for everybody to bid on the drumsticks. - It’s kinda nice to see the local Peacekeepers supporting Purnia’s claim to get this display to stop - this is the only way out of this situation where Thread’s authority is not openly challenged (and we know Thread doesn’t take well to having his authority challenged - see Darius)

There’s no stretcher, but the old woman at the clothing stall sells us the board that serves as her countertop. “Just don’t tell where you got it,” she says, packing up the rest of her goods quickly. Most of the square has emptied, fear getting the better of compassion. But after what happened, I can’t blame anyone. - It’s sad how that air of intimidation makes people want to mask their acts of compassion (and also says a lot about the precariousness of the existing living situations if that old lady is still selling that board - I’d never even consider exchanging money for that, but that’s probably my privileged situation showing here; Katniss brings up the theme of fear vs compassion - very fitting, since it seems to be her driving force (although, generally, her compassion wins out over her fear) and despite her assertion that fear appears to be getting the better of compassion we see a good amount of people reaching out to help, such as the following example:

Leevy, a girl who lives a few houses down from mine in the Seam, takes my arm. My mother kept her little brother alive last year when he caught the measles. “Need help getting back?” Her gray eyes are scared but determined. - The subtle suggestion here that Leevy might be further motivated to help out because Katniss’s mom helped her little brother is also an excellent example of how kindness breeds kindness

“Get some snow on that,” Haymitch orders over his shoulder. I scoop up a handful of snow and press it against my cheek, numbing a bit of the pain. - This moment reminded me of Peeta immediately reaching for some ice from that fruit tureen after Haymitch hit him on their way to the Games in THG (Ch. 4) - their different immediate reactions to getting hit in the face could simply be due to the fact that Katniss is a little too preoccupied worrying about Gale to think about her injury, of course, but I feel like you could also interpret them as examples for how much experience Katniss and Peeta have with being hit in the face, respectively...

Gale must have gone to Cray’s house, as he’s done a hundred times, knowing Cray pays well for a wild turkey. Instead he found the new Head Peacekeeper, a man they heard someone call Romulus Thread. No one knows what happened to Cray. He was buying white liquor in the Hob just this morning [...] but now he’s nowhere to be found. - As I’ve already mentioned regarding Darius, inhabiting some position of power does not guarantee you any safety in Panem (there is always someone more powerful who will treat their inferiors like garbage, if they feel like it)

By the time I showed up, he [Gale]’d been lashed at least forty times. He passed out around thirty. - Jesus 😨 poor Gale!

“What about Darius?” Peeta asks.“ After about twenty lashes, he stepped in, saying that was enough. Only he didn’t do it smart and official, like Purnia did. He grabbed Thread’s arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him,” says Bristel. - It’s so messed up how it is not enough to have someone who’d stand up and do something about a horrible situation - they have to do it the right way, or else they’re toast; there really shouldn’t have to be a smart way of doing the right thing

Snow begins, thick and wet, making visibility even more difficult. - (President) Snow is coming down hard on them, making it hard to see what’s up ahead

Ever so gently, she [Mrs. Everdeen] begins to clean the mutilated flesh on Gale’s back. I feel sick to the stomach, useless, the remaining snow dripping from my glove into a puddle on the floor. Peeta puts me in a chair and holds a cloth filled with fresh snow to my cheek. - Although she’s quite squeamish, Katniss stays as Gale gets treated (the force that holds the loved ones of the hurt/dying, just like when Peeta was being treated after their Games); meanwhile, Peeta is taking care of Katniss - there is so much care + love to be found in this moment

My mother has to save the strongest [painkillers] for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it’s always the pain that is present. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I have so little ability to watch suffering. - Honestly, same; I can’t stomach seeing other people suffer without feeling overwhelmed and feeling like crying... I don’t know how professionals do it

“Just give him the medicine!” I scream at her. [...] “Take her out,” says my mother. Haymitch and Peeta literally carry me from the room while I shout obscenities at her. They pin me down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until I stop fighting. - Oof. Poor Katniss! But yeah, it was the best call to remove her from the situation, Mrs. E. had to focus on what she was doing... Also, Haymitch and Peeta are the ones to get Katniss out of there and stay with her - these three take care of each other!

After a while, my mother comes in and treats my face. Then she holds my hand, stroking my arm, while Haymitch fills her in on what happened with Gale. “So it’s starting again?” she says. “Like before?” - Katniss’s mom has become a much more active and soothing presence in this book, I like it... Also, what does “again” mean? Does this imply there has been an attempted uprising in D12 that needed to be squashed before?

Cray would have been disliked, anyway, because of the uniform he wore, but it was his habit of luring starving young women into his bed for money that made him an object of loathing in the district. In really bad times, the hungriest would gather at his door at nightfall, vying for the chance to earn a few coins to feed their families by selling their bodies. Had I been older when my father died, I might have been among them. - Horrifying and absolutely disgusting 🤢 Those poor women! How desperate they must have been!

... when the doorbell rings, I shoot straight out of bed. [...] “They [the peacekeepers] can’t have him,” I say. “Might be you they’re after,” Haymitch reminds me. “Or you,” I say. “Not my house,” Haymitch points out. “But I’ll get the door.” “No, I’ll get it,” says my mother quietly. - Again, Mrs. Everdeen is taking the initiative! She was so watered down in the movies

[Madge] holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. “Use these for your friend,” she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. [...] “What is that stuff?” asks Peeta. “It’s from the Capitol. It’s called morphling,” my mother answers. “I didn’t even know Madge knew Gale,” says Peeta. “We used to sell her strawberries,” I say almost angrily. What am I angry about, though? Not that she has brought the medicine, surely. “She must have quite a taste for them,” says Haymitch. That’s what nettles me. It’s the implication that there’s something going on between Gale and Madge. And I don’t like it. “She’s my friend” is all I say. - I mean, Katniss could be mad because A) Gale had literally just told her he loved her a few hours ago and if there was something (reciprocated) going on between Gale and Madge, that would have been pretty shitty for both girls involved and also B) she is friends with both of them and it would be hurtful to learn that two of your closest friends had been seeing each other without telling you anything about it... also, she’s super upset over Gale getting so seriously hurt just after they’d had an argument, her feelings are all over the place

... I’m selfish. I’m a coward. I’m the kind of girl, who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn’t follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta, I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. - Yes, Katniss, you knew that your life back in D12 would have been unlivable if he died - but not because you feared that people would shun you; it was because you “couldn’t lose the boy with the bread” and because “if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really”... This is an excellent example of how distorted your memories can get when you are in a bad headspace at present

The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol, I am someone of worth. - Katniss, you don’t have to be planning to overthrow a corrupt and cruel government to be someone of worth! You’re someone of worth just by being yourself! - The trouble is, I don’t know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. - Frankly, very rarely are our motivations clearly defined by a single factor - or my professor would not have been able to teach an entire semester-long course on motivation psychology😉)

Chapter 9

Gale’s dead to the world, but his fingers are locked around mine. I smell fresh bread and turn my stiff neck to find Peeta looking down at me with such a sad expression. I get the sense that he’s been watching us awhile. “Go on up to bed, Katniss. I’ll look after him now,” he says. - Peeta! Must have been hard for him to see Katniss like this (and the underlying strength of Katniss and Gale’s relationship, when his relationship with Katniss is still not all that solidified), and yet he’s being such a good bean about it 😭

I give a strangled cry and wake with a start, sweating and shivering at once. Cradling my damaged cheek in my hand, I remind myself that it was not Clove but Thread who gave me this wound. I wish that Peeta were here to hold me, until I remember I’m not supposed to wish that anymore. I have chosen Gale and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine. - Katniss, gurl... Maybe your instinctive desire to receive comfort from Peeta is trying to tell you something??!? Also, Katniss is forcing this strange dichotomous association of Gale = rebellion and Peeta = Capitol, when in just a bit, she’s clearly connecting Peeta to the rebellion as well (aside from the fact that Peeta was basically the first person to suggest to her that maybe a rebellion was necessary... just saying)

Fighting the Capitol assures their swift retaliation. I must accept that at any moment I can be arrested. [...] There might be torture. Mutliation. A bullet through the skull in the town square [...] I imagine these things and I’m terrified, but let’s face it: They’ve been lurking in the back of my brain, anyway. [...] I’m already a target. - Oh geez! Despite admitting that she’s terrified of what the Capitol is capable fo doing to her, Katniss is still pretty composed naming the possible horrors in store for her, which is just a heartbreaking reminder of how many terrible things she has already had to endure.🙁

Now comes the harder part. I have to face the fact that my family and friends might share this fate. Prim. I need only to think of Prim and all my resolve disintegrates. It’s my job to protect her. [...] I can’t let the Capitol hurt Prim. - 😭😭😭 Katniss has reached a point where she can put her own need for survival/physical intactness aside, but the thought of something awful happening to Prim stops her short (it’s so strange to think that, in a twisted way, it wasn’t the Capitol who’d ended up inflicting the final harm upon Prim...)

And then it hit’s me. They already have. They have killed her father in those wretched mines. They have sat by as she almost starved to death. [...] She has been hurt far worse than I had at the age of twelve. And even that pales in comparison with Rue’s life. [...] Prim... Rue... aren’t they the very reason I have to try to fight? Because what has been done to them is so wrong, so beyond justification, so evil that there is no choice? Because no one has the right to treat them as they have been treated? Yes. This is the thing to remember when fear threatens to swallow me up. What I am about to do, whatever any of us are forced to endure, it is for them. - All these things are very true and it’s also very fitting that the main motivation for Katniss would be to ensure a better future for the children of Panem (and to avenge the evils done to the people close to her heart... while Katniss of course can see the abstract bigger picture/reason for the rebellion, she always operates best when it comes to specific people/circumstances she has a deep, personal connection with)... But also: all these things apply to you, too, Katniss! Despite your tendency to feel responsible for everything and everyone, you’re still a child that had to grow up way too fast and had to endure way too much!

We need someone to direct us and reassure us this is possible. And I don’t think I’m that person. I may have been a catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with conviction, and I’m barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching courage, and I’m still working hard at finding mine. Someone with clear and persuasive words, and I’m so easily tongue-tied. Words. I think of words and I think of Peeta. - Katniss’s idea of a great leader for the rebellion is Peeta - interesting, isn’t it (she could have considered Gale, but no)? She makes a good point, though: it helps when a leader has plenty of charisma, and our boy has that in spades; he’s got a good set of morals, is not above joining in on the action/risking his own neck when the need arises and is very genuine and purposeful with his words and actions, which is inspiring... I think Katniss is severely underselling how courageous she is, though

He could move a crowd to action, I bet, if he chose to. Would find the things to say. But I’m sure the idea has never crossed his mind. - Why would you assume that, Katniss? Peeta’s literally the one to suggest to you that trying to placate the district might not be the right thing to do... Peeta’s not someone who’d stir up trouble just for the sake of stirring up trouble, sure; he’s much more deliberate about doing things the ‘right’ way, but he’s not generally opposed to challenging authorities (he’s literally the one to openly gift some of your winnings to another district!)

She knows what she’s doing, my mother. I feel a pang of remorse about yesterday, the awful things I yelled at her as Peeta and Haymitch dragged me from the kitchen. “I’m sorry. About screaming at you yesterday.” - It’s so sweet how Katniss feels sorry for yelling at her mom and apologizes to her; their relationship really has improved so much in this book - “I’ve heard worse,” she says. “You’ve seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain.” Someone they love. [...] Of course, I love Gale. But what kind of love does she mean? What do I mean when I say I love Gale? I don’t know. I did kiss him last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But i’m sure he doesn’t remember it. Does he? I hope not. - Katniss is struggling to figure out in what way she loves Gale... She definitely doesn’t want him to remember their kiss because she knows it wouldn’t be fair to give him the hope that she might be able to return his romantic feelings when she is still in the dark about her own

... and I can’t really think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it. “Where’s Peeta?” I say. - Lol, goes on to immediately mention the guy she’s been kissing these past few weeks (see, with Peeta you could actually have both: kissing and rebellion, Katniss - he’s the perfect man, isn’t he? 😉😋)

“He went home when he heard you stirring. Didn’t want to leave his house unattended during the storm,” says my mother. - Yeah, I don’t think Peeta left because of his house; I’m pretty sure he needed some time to himself after seeing Katniss and Gale this morning - he is the type of person who needs to be alone to work through his feelings when he’s feeling upset - “Did he get back all right?” [...] “Why don’t you give him a call and check?” she says. I go into the study, a room I’ve pretty much avoided since my meeting with President Snow, and dial Peeta’s number. After a few rings he answers. “Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,” I say. “Katniss. I live three houses away from you,” he says. “I know, but with the weather and all,” I say. “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for checking.” There’s a long pause. “How’s Gale?” - Aww, Katniss is worried about Peeta and gives him a call, although she hates being in the study 😊 Also, her calling him must have been at least of some reassurance to Peeta that she genuinely cares about him, in some way (though, he’s still clearly busy processing her relationship with Gale, since he’s asking about him as if he hadn’t seen that dude just a couple of minutes prior)

“Have you seen Haymitch today?” “I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built up his fire and left him some bread,” he says. “I wanted to talk to - to both of you.” I don’t dare add more, here on my phone, which is surely tapped. - Despite everything, Peeta still made sure to look after Haymitch! And I know, there is also the issue of their houses themselves potentially being bugged, but I couldn’t help imagining how they could easily avoid the whole phone-tapping thing simply by using a tin can telephone (they do live pretty close to each other, after all) 😂

“You don’t even have a phone,” I say. “Effie had that fixed,” he [Haymitch] says. “Do you know she asked me if I’d like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better.” “Haymitch.” I can hear the pleading creeping into my voice. “Katniss.” He mimics my tone. “It won’t work.” - Okay, but Haymitch mimicking Katniss’s tone reminds me so much of when Peeta mimicked her tone towards the end of their Games, when she was trying to persuade him to climb into a tree as a lookout while he was insistent she’d show him some plants to gather; these three, I swear! 😂 On a sad note, Haymitch is talking from experience here when he’s advising Katniss not to challenge the Capitol 🥺😢

Some streets away from the square, I see a blaze flare up. None of us has to say it. That can only be the Hob going up in smoke. I think of Greasy Sae, Ripper, all my friends who make their livings there. - Katniss considers the people from the Hob her friends - honestly, even if the Hawthornes, Everdeens, Peeta and Haymitch all had agreed to leave D12, I don’t think Katniss would have been able to go through with it - she cares too much about the people in D12 to have been able to leave them to their fate

“Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare.” He [Haymitch] trudges off across the square and I look at Peeta. “What’s he want that for?” Then I realize the answer. “We can’t let him drink it. He’ll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I’ve got some white liquor put away at home.” “Me, too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business,” says Peeta. - Another instance of Katniss and Peeta being on the same wavelength, having taken precautions to help out Haymitch so he doesn’t have to go cold turkey again

We find Hazelle in her house, nursing a very sick Posy. I recognize the measles spots. “I couldn’t leave her,” she says. “I knew Gale’d be in the best possible hands.” - The second mention of someone having contracted the measles in D12 - Why the heck does the Capitol withhold measles vaccination from the people in the districts?! They’re inflicting unnecessary damage onto the very people they want to exploit... But I guess cruelty isn’t always about playing it smart and logical...

When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.” “I’ll go with you,” he says. “No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him. “And avoiding a stroll by the Hob... that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. - They are a team, they stick together (and they are constantly holding hands, always physically linked to each other)😩💕 Also, Peeta pointing out the irrationality of Katniss’s train of thought to calm her down and stay with her reminds me of how he’s going to use logical reasoning to calm her down after the jabberjays in the Quarter Quell arena

We go back to the square. I buy some cakes from Peeta’s father while they exchange small talk about the weather. No one mentions the ugly tools of torture just yards from the front door. The last thing I notice as we leave the square is that I do not recognize even one of the Peacekeepers’ faces. - How weird is it that Peeta and his dad just talk about the weather?! Is this supposed to illustrate how in the Mellark family they just ignored the ugliness going on in their lives *cough cough* the abuse *cough cough* and just pretended that everything was fine, on a very superficial level? Also, it makes perfect sense that the Peacekeepers have been exchanged; the more time we spend with people, the more likely we are to like them - that won’t do if you want to have a ruthless authoritarian police force in the districts

As the days pass, things go from bad to worse. The mines stay shut for two weeks, and by that time half of District 12 is starving. The number of kids signing up for tesserae soars, but they often don’t receive their grain. Food shortages begin, and even those with money come away from stores empty-handed. [...] The eagerly awaited food promised for Parcel Day arrives spoiled and defiled by rodents. - This is just so awful and despicable 😞 Life in the districts was already horrible but now the government does not even honor the extortionary rules they themselves have set up! I can’t help but wonder if the lack of food could be traced back to rebellions in the food supplying districts and, to keep this from the inhabitants of the Capitol, the reduced amount of good food was (obviously) kept for the Capitolites, so that the bad food had to be sent to the districts, anyway... It just seems like such a breach of ‘honor’/etiquette on the Capitol’s part, I dunno... Or maybe Snow was just desperate to use any means necessary to stamp out any potential rebellions in the districts that he still had some control over...

Gale goes home with no more talk of rebellion between us. But I can’t help thinking that everything he sees will only strengthen his resolve to fight back. [...] Rory has signed up for tesserae, something Gale can’t even speak about - Poor, Gale! Poor Hawthornes :(

My fingers have all but decided to release the arrow when I see the object in the glove. It’s a small white circle of flat bread. More of a cracker, really. Gray and soggy around the edges. But an image is clearly stamped in the center of it. It’s my mockingjay. - It is so very telling that the true symbol of the rebellion combines something symbolic of Katniss (which also contains a nod to Rue) and something symbolic of Peeta (the bread/cracker!) The people in the districts have rightfully recognized the both of them as symbol of the rebellion; they have a truer vision of the matter than the more artifically/forcefully constructed symbol of rebellion that D13 /Coin will push - we will also see that when the people in D13 will view Peeta as a traitor, while the rebels Katniss will visit in D8 instead ask her about Peeta and assure her that they know he was speaking under duress

#thgagain #thg #katniss everdeen #hunger games #thg meta #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #gale hawthorne #my sketches and drawings #thg fanart #catching fire

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mashi-sims · 4 years ago

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6 Popular tropes that fit #Cooliver

1. Friends to Lovers. Duh

This is the most obvious one, and I wanted to start with this one because if Cooper and Oliver ever become canon, this is what their relationship would be.

In my head, Friends to Lovers is always problematic because it’s easy to lose a beautiful friendship to a mediocre romantic relationship, as has happened to many LGBT couples on TV, but if done correctly, it warms my heart and makes sparks of joy fly all around.

The journey of their friendship not only as a partnership but as a mutual beneficence that helps them both grow and develop as their individual selves, helping each other find their own path, confidence in themselves, inspiration and motivation to fulfill their dreams, ultimately becoming better individuals aiming to transform into the best versions of themselves they can be, *voice intensifies* all while being together and offering each other’s company and support, becoming accustomed to being next to one and other and not being able to imagine a life without the other, slowly developing emotional ties that make them consider if a different kind of love exists, and them exploring it and realizing that, in fact, THERE IS. That type of slow build that transforms into a romantic relationship because they both agree they are each other’s most treasured person and they want to stay in each other’s lives forever, that’s some GOOD STUFF.

2. Fake Dating

The reason why I believe a good fake dating au can get so popular, is because it can offer a pretty natural transition between “Not having any kind of feelings”/”Being unaware of their feelings” to “Oh, my gosh I am in love with this person what do I do”, and it can be so heart-wrenching it’s addictive.

In a beautiful world, Oliver is totally in love with Cooper and he just doesn’t know it yet, and there’s where this trope comes in handy.

There’s a number of reasons why two characters may start fake dating; getting someone off their backs, making someone jealous/angry, needing a date for a special occasion, or getting some odd financial benefit from it, if you’re willing to take it as far as getting married and having to pretend to be actually married so nobody know their marriage is a scam.

They agree to start fake dating or to start introducing each other to other people as their boyfriends, because Cooper wants these interested girls (and boys) in his money to go away, or because Oliver is the only single one at his ballet and he doesn’t want to go to after-show celebration alone, and after one or many fake dating moments, they start realizing they don’t need to act or pretend to act a certain way at all, because there’s stuff they’d normally do with or say to each other, or at least the trust or the reliance is already there.

Think about the inevitable time where they do have to stop acting like fake boyfriends and they start missing it, or when they mid-date realize there’s something real between all that pretending and now they don’t know what to do about it, imagine the conversation they’d have when they realize they can’t go back to being friends anymore.

3. N Things

This one is more like a writing strategy than an actual trope, but it still works. We’ve all read the “4 times they almost kissed, and one time they did” or the “3 times they said I love you to someone else, and one time they said it to each other”

Okay, now hear me out- how about, “3 times Oliver said Cooper wasn’t his boyfriend, and one he didn’t have to”, or “5 times Oliver said he wasn’t gay, and one time he couldn’t”? I’m down for that.

The heart of this trope is the repeatability of a certain joke, a comment or an unfortunate event and that’s obvious it’ll turn itself around, and it’s that one moment that finally comes which makes you want to dance under the rain.

To me, the amount of times Oliver’s had to tell other people that he isn’t gay or that Cooper’s not his bf (Cooper also said it once) is the perfect starter to this “n things” strategy.

Come on, American Housewife! You’re making it too easy for me to expect that one moment when it all turns around!

4. Babysitters

Neither of these boys is ever shown to be a kid-person nor to have a soft spot for babies, or anything like that! Like, at all! Their whole characters are based around the facts that they are both money-driven, superficial, and self-absorbed (although in the process of becoming better than that), and we barely ever get to see them pouring their hearts out or letting their guard down.

Therefore, imagine a day where Oliver is forced to babysit Violet (or another baby if there comes to be another one), and he’d undeniably be annoyed at the situation because this baby/toddler has ruined his plans, but Cooper obviously stays and helps him out because where else would he be?

It’s the times driving them both crazy when they don’t know how to make a baby stop crying, or when they’re deciding who should change the diaper because neither of them wants to; it’s the time when they’re both a mess because some chaos happened with the food or the paint while they were trying to come up with an activity.

Then it’s Oliver slowly coming down with baby fever as he’s trying make them laugh or when he’s walking around the room trying to make them fall asleep, and Cooper is in awe because he had never seen that side of his friend, and he had never expected it to look so damn cute, and Oliver had never expected Cooper to stay with him for a whole day just taking care of a baby.

It’s at the end of the day when they’re tired as hell but they agree that they had fun and that they’re glad they had each other to help out, and although they don’t say it, maybe it wasn’t so bad their original plans didn’t end up working out.

5. Hurt/Comfort

This is not a trope for everyone, you may love it, you may hate it, you may be indifferent, or you may be like me; somewhere in the middle but with some strong opinions. If done right, it can be a beautiful addition to the story of two characters in process of falling in love. If done wrong, it can victimize the characters in unnecessary ways or show them in a light that doesn’t suit them, thus making them feel out of character, which is every true fan’s worst nightmare.

Although, let’s focus on the small things; like characters holding on to their emotions for too long until they really can’t do it anymore, and they need somebody to help them out, even if they resist it, because in the end they’ll acknowledge they’re thankful for having them, and it also makes their relationship inevitably grow and develop, because there’s something really special about having someone you can truly be yourself with and knowing that they’ll stay, and they’ll help you through everything and make you feel like you’re going to be okay, even (and especially) during your worst moments.

(Although really toned down,) we’ve already seen this kind of comfort between the two; like when Cooper found out Oliver lied about his vacations, and he told him he didn’t need to lie to him out of all people, and that he could come on vacation with him whenever he wanted, or when Cooper’s parents ditched him and he confided in Oliver, who believed he had become tired of hanging out with him, and Cooper had to reassure him that wasn’t the case; those were small moments where we got to see them somewhat upset and being comforted by the other, and that’s when it feels like their friendship is strong and real.

The reason why I believe this trope fits them so much is because they are barely shown in a vulnerable state that allows them to have a sad plot where they’d need to be comforted, and it’s during times like these where you can really see their relationship grow.

Also, I want to point out that it’s not about romanticizing or sexualizing sadness, at all! It’s about using these moments to slowly build and give consistency to the relationship- don’t even get me started on how much I hate seeing and reading characters making out after having a breakdown.

6. Mutual Pining

Some people like to suffer, okay? Some of us like a good tragedy, and there’s nothing more tragic than two characters who are deeply in love with each other, but they’ve resigned to keeping it hidden deep down because they’re convinced the other doesn’t feel the same and they don’t want to lose them nor their friendship, even if it means having to live with a painful secret for the rest of their lives.

When you start having feelings for another person, you may be brave enough to let them now or try and see where things go, because you have nothing to lose, right? But what happens when it’s your best friend you have feelings for? There’s a lot there to lose if do things go wrong, and there’s no certainty that they won’t, so you might as well leave things as they are, because nothing would be more painful than to lose the person you love the most for making things weird because they don’t feel the same way...

And it’s completely frustrating to see two characters with the same internal monologue, because you know what IT COULD BE, but THEY don’t know that- and I love it.

There’s a million different ways this trope can play out, and it’s always so interesting to see where things go after both characters have resigned to never let the other one know how they feel, and then we get to see these destructive actions like dating other people because they think their feelings are unrequited, but they have no idea the other is in deep pain because of seeing the person they love with someone else... yes, a good tragedy!

Anyway, thank you for reading this rant and feel free to add to the list or make any of these come to life.

#Cooliver #American Housewife #A little rant I couldn't get out of my head

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franniebanana · 4 years ago

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CQL Rewatch - Ep15

I forgot this guy’s name, Yao or something? Honestly, I don’t care enough to research this, like, at all. I hate this guy. My friend and I now refer to him as the Hype Man, so I might just call him that from now on. But I wanted to say that I didn’t realize he was in it so early, so when I saw him, I was like, “That fucking guy!!” And I also totally missed that the point of Jiang Fengmian leaving was to take this worthless piece of trash somewhere. I wish he’d died haha. But then I guess there’d be less reason to hate him, and I enjoy hating him.

I can’t believe this is the first paragraph that people are going to see. If you’re reading this now, you’re like, why do I want to read this crap? And y’know what, I can’t blame you. The next few episodes are gonna be rough. I don’t even know if there will be much to say on my end. My friend, after watching these few episodes commented something like, “Huh, that really dragged.” I could only agree, pulling my hair out from the headache these few episodes were giving me.

Okay, but seriously, Yao is so pathetic here! Talking about how he never thought they’d end up like this, and, “Oh, we were just a small clan, woe is me!” It’s amazing that he turns into the biggest prick, always right there hyping up the scapegoat-blame game rhetoric. Sorry, I hate this fucker.

A rare nice moment from Madam Yu. It was sweet having her show a caring side, packing medicine for her husband, snacks for her daughter. But of course, it was because Jiang Yanli had come to say goodbye to her earlier. Jiang Cheng is really like his mother—they can’t do anything for kindness’s sake, there’s always an obligation to the kindness.

I hate Wang Lingjiao, but I love her, and I love hating her. I’m conflicted. She’s just such a fun, evil character, more fun than Xue Yang in my opinion, probably because she actual interacts with the main characters in the story. It will forever annoy me that Xue Yang gets so much attention for appearing in a long-ass flashback (via empathy) and what should have been a flashback (Chang Clan) but wasn’t because they wanted it to be padding, I guess.

Anyway, Wang Lingjiao. She’s fun, she goes completely nuts—what’s not to love about her? She’s also someone who is so similar to Madam Yu, but because she also is ambitious and wants to take over Lotus Pier, Madam Yu wants her dead. Haha!

While Madam Yu is, objectively, a horrible person, I actually really like how her bodyguards aren’t treated like servants. I like that there’s mutual respect there, as there should be when you’re talking about protecting someone. Unfortunately, I think Madam Yu treats them better than her own family in most cases. It’s cool that the Jiang Clan doesn’t rely on servants to get food and tea and whatnot. These are things that the disciples and leaders must do for themselves. By contrast, the Jins have so many servants—it’s almost obscene by comparison.

Also I want to point out how hot-headed Jiang Cheng gets here, while his mother is just cool as a cucumber. It really shows you how unready he is to actually lead (which she points out). He’s so emotional, quick to anger, yet he has none of the foundations to really lead a group of people. Even when the disciples are explaining to them what happened to the kid and the kite, it’s Wei Wuxian who is keeping everyone calm and asking the questions.

I love that his first reaction here is to insult Wang Lingjiao’s intelligence. We’re basically getting a parallel to how he reacts to Wen Chao, which is fun because you can see how his behavior hasn’t changed at all. He uses his wit in both situations and is easily able to outwit both Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao. What’s kind of interesting is that Jiang Cheng will speak up now when he wouldn’t before. And I wonder is it because he is guilty for being silent earlier with Wen Chao, or is it something else? I think ultimately Jiang Cheng blames Jin Xizuan, Lan Wangji, and Wei Wuxian for what happens to his parents and to Lotus Pier. Even though, logically, it would have been destroyed anyway, he still wants to place the blame on someone who he can reach. All this is to say, I don’t think Jiang Cheng regrets not speaking up at the Wen Indoctrination. So I think he feels superiority over Wang Lingjiao really because he thinks she’s a stupid woman. And duh, she is not that clever. But she is smart enough to be able to use what talents she has to get ahead. She apparently is favored over Wen Chao’s own wife (who knew he was even married—not me lol), and you have to be ambitious and have some smarts to get that far. That’s not to say that Jiang Cheng wouldn’t treat a man this way too—I think he would. I think he picks and chooses who he’ll stand up to. He’s on his own turf, she’s an invader, she’s a woman—she only brought a few henchmen, right? He’s also been charged with watching over Lotus Pier in his father’s absence. Maybe he just wants to look big for once. Just a thought. Take it or leave it.

So, I think Madam Yu is enjoying this. She’s getting two things she wants: the Wens are going to leave and she gets to beat the shit out of Wei Wuxian. She doesn’t even have to be prodded to punish him, right? She barely waits until Wang Lingjiao has finished speaking. This has something she’s wanted to do for a long time. I think she’s hit him before, yes? But she can go all out right now, since Jiang Fengmian, his only real protector, is gone.

Also Jiang Cheng! Man, he’s torn apart! He hates to see this happening to Wei Wuxian—yes, he blames him for all that shit, but he doesn’t want to see this happen to him. It’s actually harder to watch Jiang Cheng in all of this than Wei Wuxian, who mostly remains as stoic as he could possibly be while she’s whipping the shit out of him. And again here, we get Wei Wuxian telling Jiang Cheng not to interfere, because the last thing he wants is for Jiang Cheng to be penalized too. He’s fine receiving this punishment because it’s a “better me than him” kind of a thing. It’s harder to watch someone else suffer than to suffer ourselves, right? I’m like that, idk if you readers are, but I think a lot of people are like that. I mean, I’ve always been that way, but it’s been amplified since I became a parent. And not only is he accepting of being whipped by Zidian, he’s ready to lose his fucking right hand. The hand that he wields a sword with. His dominant hand. He is ready to lose it with absolutely no fuss. That’s how much Wei Wuxian cares about Lotus Pier. His response is, “I’ll have to learn how to use my left hand.” It’s a passing line, a line when you can’t even see his face—but do you get how big that is? Jiang Cheng is up there losing his mind, completely emotional, crying, yelling at his mother to stop—Wei Wuxian is just silently gritting his teeth and taking it. They’re both brave (I would not want to stand up to Madam Yu), but different kinds of brave, y’know?

I do love this part. I’m not gonna lie. Seeing Madam Yu slap Wang Lingjiao around is something that’s deeply, deeply satisfying. I guess it’s just nice to see Madam Yu’s anger turned towards an actual villain, since up until this point, it’s been directly mainly at Wei Wuxian and her own husband. I think this part is forever tainted if you know how the story goes, because Madam Yu is just on fire! But if you’ve seen this series before, which hopefully you have (otherwise spoilers abound), you know it doesn’t end well for her. I like this plot device here, making you think that the good guys are going to come out on top, and then reversing it so quickly as soon as the Core-Melting Hand shows up. One minute, you’re cheering, the next, you’re…not.

I also want to point out how quickly things reverse here as well. Jiang Cheng is trying to protect and comfort Wei Wuxian throughout this whole scene, which is something we’re definitely not used to seeing. This has always (and I mean always) been more of Lan Wangji’s thing. But in kind of a nice twist of fate, we actually see Jiang Cheng caring for Wei Wuxian. But then, boy, do things change! We see a complete reversal of this behavior—first Wei Wuxian has to be there for Jiang Cheng’s emotional state, and then his physical one. And the man does not complain about it at all.

I want to say that I didn’t cry in my first watch of CQL until episode 50. That is 100% the truth, so help me God. However, when I watched this scene in the donghua, I cried like a little bitch. Cried probably isn’t the right word—how about sobbed. I sobbed. I think because I knew it was coming when I watched CQL, it didn’t really affect me (plus my husband was right there, not paying attention, but still on the couch with me, so I tend to not cry as much when he’s around. I like to cry on my own, okay?). Having said that, the second time I saw this scene, I fucking cried, and I really didn’t stop until after they told Jiang Yanli, because that sweetheart crying makes me cry, okay? I have a really hard time watching things about children and parents, because I always think about my own parents and my own kid, so it just makes me really emotional. The idea of never seeing your parents again, especially in such a traumatic situation, at the age of what—17? That’s something I can’t even begin to imagine. In a word, horrific. Traumatic isn’t even a strong enough word to describe the emotional and mental turmoil that a teenager would be going through. But I can probably ramble about that later.

And my heart breaks for Wei Wuxian here too. Even though she hated him, even though she treated him so poorly, I’m sure he still thought of her as something akin to a mother. She was the only mother figure he had in his life who was still living, so there was definitely an attachment there (and this is proven later). Even being acknowledged by her here must mean something to him. She may hate him, but she trusts him to keep her children safe and to protect them. It’s honestly so sad.

Ugh, this is hard to watch. As a mother, the idea of sending your kid adrift when you know you’ll probably never see them again is so heartbreaking. The connection you have with your children is something that no other relationship can match, whether you physically bore your children or not. They are a part of you. Like, let’s be real, raising children is difficult—they can test your patience, make you angry, make you sad and hurt (toddlers don’t care about you, yeah, I said it)—but you love them in spite of it all. And for me, I can never really hate Madam Yu. I can find her attitude and treatment of certain individuals deplorable, but at the end of the day, she loved her children. Was she a good mom? No, probably not. But I don’t think Jiang Fengmian was a good dad either (although I think he tried a bit harder). But I think she loved A-Cheng and A-Li, and I think she trusted Wei Wuxian to protect them. I think she gave him that shred of respect at the end.

In case you’re wondering, I fucking cried through to the end of this episode. I mean, Jesus, Yanli just gets immediately thrown into another boat and tied up with her brothers, after finding out that her mother might be dead already, and then her dad abandons them too. I just can’t.

I’m sorry this was short (maybe I’m not sorry, depending on how much you like the episode). I’m going to try and knock out more than one episode per week because I just don’t have a lot to say. These are mainly getting through the plot episodes, if you know what I mean.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |

#wei wuxian #jiang cheng #cql #the untamed #jiang yanli #jiang fengmian #madam yu #wen zhuliu #core-melting hand #wang lingjiao #jiaojiao #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #cql rewatch #wwx

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gossipchii · 4 years ago

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The irony of the crest

FF.net: here / AO3: here

Characters: Takenouchi Sora and Izumi Koushiro

Words: 1200+

Notes: HOORAY I’M STILL ABLE TO WRITE? AND I FINALLY GOT THIS IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD?

I love this underrated duo soooooooooooo much, I hope you do as well!

Enjoy!!!!!!

Sora did not consider herself to be a nervous person, in fact most people tended to praise her calming aura. However, there she was, at the frozen yogurt shop taking a glance at the clock every five seconds. Of course, she knew she was early, which meant he was not late, he was never late, yet her foot could not stop stomping.

“I did not realize I was late, I’m so sorry,” Koushiro was carrying a backpack almost his size, Sora wondered how such a tiny human could carry so much weight.

“You’re not late, I’m just very early!” the mouth of her stomach felt as if someone was punching her, she winced in pain. This was not how she was planning on feeling at such a young age.

“I got worried for a second,” Koushiro sighed in relief, getting rid of his backpack, looking somehow taller. Sora had wanted to talk with Koushiro for a while, but she had not found the words on asking for alone time with him without it seeming off. Not that they were not close, Sora considered her fellow redhead one of her dearest friends, but she had never asked him for a one in one chat. “Are you going to order something?”

“Oh, sure!” truth was, the mere thought of eating made her sick, but it would be weird if she did not order a fro-yo, considering she had chosen where to meet in the first place.

Koushiro seemed excited, one would never guess a boy-genius could be so passionate about frozen yogurt and its toppings, he chose them so carefully, taking in fact every flavor and coming up with weird combinations, which Sora could never be brave enough to try.

They went back to their seats, and soon enough Sora realized she had to get ready to come clean and spit out the words that made her meet him in the first place.

“Thank you for taking some time off to talk with me, I know how busy you are, with the computer club and school, and your multiple projects.”

“It’s nothing! Miyako is taking care of everything today, she’s such a bright mind, I feel safe knowing she will take over the club next year.”

“Crazy to think they’re kind of our descendants, sometimes I wonder how did Miyako inherit my crest instead of yours, but then I remember how much she cares for everyone around her, and it makes sense.”

“I’m glad your crest is in her hands, it’s such power not anyone could bare it.”

“Yeah…” she had not had a single bite of her strawberry fro-yo, which was slowly melting. The Crest of Love, how ironic. “Even if I miss the Digital World all the time, I’m glad it’s not totally on our shoulders anymore, we have so much going on right now.”

“Right! You’re doing fantastic with the Tennis team, and Taichi with Soccer as usual, and Yamato is basically the local superstar!” The punch in her stomach came back, this time harder. She took a deep breathe. “Is everything alright, Sora?”

“I mean, nothing’s wrong but…” she was glad the store was almost empty, people did not really crave frozen yogurt at the beginning of December, plus she knew how much Koushiro loved it, she was in a safe space. “I’ve been thinking lately about the future and how our actions could affect it. I love the dynamics of our group, you know?”

“Yes, I’m particularly fond of them as well, but change is inevitable.”

“I know, and lately destiny has showed me this, Jou keeps getting ready to be a doctor, Mimi moved out to the United States, Daisuke and company joined our group…”

“You’re right, I hadn’t realized how many changed had happened in such a short time.”

“And many more may happen soon.”

“What do you mean?”

She took a deep breathe, leaving her untouched fro-yo in the table. “Lately, I’ve been having this annoying stomachache non-stop, it’s so annoying, I feel like throwing up half the time.”

“That sounds serious Sora, have you considered seeing a doctor? Or at least talking with Jou about it?” She scoffed, Koushiro was so innocent somehow.

“Actually, that’s the reason why I asked you to meet me.”

“But Sora, I know nothing about anatomy, and you must not believe everything you read online, you know? It may be a wonderful place, but it’s also very dangerous!”

“Don’t worry, I already know what’s going on, I just have no idea what to do with it.”

“So, you’ve seen a doctor? Didn’t they tell you if you should be taking medicine?”

“My stomach hurts, but I’m not sick, heck, I think I’m actually the opposite of sick. I think I’m in love.” She bit her lower lip, whispering the last part of her sentence.

“I…” Koushiro’s cheeks heat up immediately, that was the last subject he thought Sora would want to talk about.

“I have been trying to hide it for months now, but it’s gotten to the point where it hurts so bad, I know I have to do something about it,” she sighed, avoiding Koushiro’s dark eyes. “But if I do something about it everything will change, and it may not even be mutual, there’s so much at stake here, I’m scared.”

Koushiro left his fro-yo right next to Sora’s, clearly analyzing this whole situation. He could not believe Sora had chosen him to talk about the matter, he felt flattered she trusted him that much.

“I’m guessing it’s someone we know?”

“You’re guessing right, I wish we had the power to choose, because then I wouldn’t have to change a thing about our group’s dynamic…” Koushiro felt in his gut who she was talking about, but she clearly did not want to mention names. Maybe empathy was not his strongest quality, but he knew Sora well enough.

“I may not be the best person to be giving advice on this matter, but I’m certain you’ll be better off by telling them.” He sounded so serious, not an ounce of mockery in his voice. That is when Sora reaffirmed, she had made the right decision in confiding in Koushiro, he made her feel sane.

“I mean” he continued, “even your body is begging for you to let it out, I believe it will end up feeling free once you say it out loud.”

“I know you’re right, it’s just very frightening.”

“And by saying it you’ll be the bravest in our group.” They shared a comfortable silence, both stirring their melted fro-yos. “By the way, this person? The luckiest.”

“You really think so?” Sora’s eyes lit up, adding them a few shades of red.

“Absolutely, I know it’s scary, but no matter the outcome, you’ll come out a winner.” Sora could not resist, and she knew Koushiro was not much for physical affection, but she hugged him. Their friendship was nothing like any other duo in their group, they communicated through an unspoken language, which assured her she had made the right choice. She felt almost in peace.

“You’ll be the first one to know once it happens, I promise.” And Sora wasn’t one to break a promise, she started planning her next move that very same night.

#digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #fanfic #fanfiction #sora takenouchi #koushiro izumi #koura #underrated duo

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thanksjro · 5 years ago

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Dark Cybertron Chapter 2: Going from Zero to Antichrist Real Quick

Bumblebee and his camp buddies are trying to figure out what to do with the Titan who just popped out of the ground like a prairie dog, as the sky looks like a Lisa Frank notebook thanks to the portal to the Dead Universe. It’s honestly very nice, we should should get more pretty apocalypses like this.

Bumblebee starts throwing out orders at everyone, much to Slag’s chagrin. When Slag brings up the point that they probably can’t do much of anything to a guy roughly a hundred times bigger than they are, Bumblebee tells him to shut up and do as he’s told.

Yeah, I had about the same reaction, Slag.

So the Dinobots do their thing. Swoop, who I think is the only guy here who can fly, goes up to see what the Titan’s doing. It’s not much, other than looking really upset. Oh no, what if he’s afraid of heights? Poor guy.

Even if the Titan isn’t moving, the mere presence of the thing is jamming signals, which is kind of an issue. Ironhide’s ready to shoot it in the foot, and Arcee will help, because she’s a team player now. Bumblebee has a minor crisis over whether this is the same Titan that told Starscream he was a prophesied son of a gun, but Prowl doesn’t seem to think that it is.

Prowl, who has been suffering from short-term memory lapses over the last several months or so because a bug-man was controlling his mind.

Yeah, let’s maybe take his opinion on the matter with a grain of salt, even if he is right.

Over at the Lost Light, Orion Pax is visiting Brainstorm’s workshop, where everyone’s favorite science man is admitting to having studied the Dead Universe’s effects on the living and interviewing people who had been to the area.

Man, I sure hope that guy signed a waiver, otherwise Brainstorm’s going to be in a spot of trouble.

Then we get a quick rundown of what the Dead Universe is: an omnicognizant parallel universe that functions on fundamental principles that differ from our own and wants you to die. So, obviously not a place you would want to go to. Still, we gotta, because that’s where the plot is the Dead Universe is gonna vore Cybertron if we don’t.

Brainstorm agrees to cook something up to make the trip through the Gorlam Prime portal easier.

Back on Cybertron, the Titan looms in the distance as we check in on an oddly pristine-looking Iacon. Rattrap tells Starscream to come out of the closet, because the Titan still hasn’t moved and doesn’t seem like it’s going to anytime soon. Starscream does come out, but it’s with his arms full of weapons of Autobot design that he appropriated from the ruins of Kimia, because he doesn’t trust that Titan to not start some shit. Rattrap suggests that they maybe get a second opinion before they start murdering people for standing in a barren field.

Back on the Lost Light, there’s a little shindig going down at Swerve’s, everyone staring down the table where Optimus, Rodimus, and Ultra Magnus are seated. Swerve takes the opportunity to do what everyone else is probably really wanting to, and snaps a few photos of them for his scrapbook. As soon as he’s done, we get to the Emotions portion of our issue.

Rodimus is letting himself be vulnerable in front of the man he idolizes, and I think that’s very brave of him.

Nobody’s feeling super great about the situation they’ve been presented with, but there isn’t a lot that can be done about it now. Just gotta work with what they got. Rodimus asks Optimus how he feels about Starscream being elected leader of Cybertron.

But I thought that freedom was the right of all sentient beings? You know, like the freedom of choice in our government officials, even if they aren’t the best option we could possibly have, because at least they’re better than the guy who had bombs planted in people’s heads for crowd control purposes? Are you saying that it only counted when the concept of freedom could be manipulated so you could go kick Megatron’s ass, and that actual freedom of choice doesn’t jive with your personal sensibilities as much as you’d like everyone to think it does? No wonder you’re going to try to overthrow the entire Earth’s government system to get humanity annexed into Cybertron’s bullshit in a few years’ time.

But perhaps this Starscream thing is actually the work of Megatron! What will Orion do then?

…I mean, do I even have to say it?

ORION, THAT’S GAY.

And I thought we’d already figured out what to do with Megatron back in “Chaos Theory”, where you spent three issues waffling on the subject until the man himself told you to execute him, because even he was sick of your crisis of self. The only reason you didn’t get to act on it was because Megatron disappeared after Vector Sigma blew up and then you fucked off into space without even bothering to check if he was actually dead.

But enough of Orion promising to kill/kiss Megatron, it’s time to see what Brainstorm’s cooked up. It’s not much, but to be fair, he’s only had a few hours to pull something together- our ship’s genius has made a few forcefield generators, using nothing more than some forcefield generators and juice he squeezed out of a bug. Science truly is amazing.

And I bet Trailcutter hates this invention too, for multiple reasons this time!

Cyclonus, who is looking especially purple today, agrees to join the excursion to the Dead Universe, even though it’s pretty clear he really, really doesn’t want to. Hardhead seems in better spirits than our resident space jet, though maybe that’s just bravado macho-man bullshitting on his part.

With our team put together, it’s time to jump out of the spaceship and into a place that quite literally wants them dead. But first Rodimus has a little chat with Ultra Magnus about his feelings. A lot of sharing this issue.

Magnus doesn’t feel fit to be in charge while Rodimus goes off to save the day and maybe die, because he doesn’t have that special something that makes a leader a leader. Charisma? The ability to think on your feet? The ability to see people as people and not numbers? Not having people know you’re actually a much smaller man running around in an Ultra Magnus suit? Whatever it is, Rodimus seems to think that it’s trumped by a mysterious something in his hand, and that Magnus will do just fine.

While Team -Imus goes into the murder reality, Magnus and the Lost Light will be going off to find Jhiaxus, because they need something to do while our protagonist and his absentee father go on their own adventure.

Back on Cybertron, Starscream’s visiting prison, and wants to talk to a very good boy without the guards overhearing. Jazz makes a very vague threat about what will happen if any harm comes to the prisoner, then steps away.

Let’s talk about how to sell toys for a second.

This issue of “Dark Cybertron” had a cover featuring Scoop, the very good boy I’ve mentioned before, because it was paired off with his Generations toy. We know from reading RID that Scoop is the leader of a group called the Construction Patrol, and he likes to help simply for the sake of helping. Sounds like a nice, if generic, character. How is this issue going to introduce people to him? Will he bust out of prison to save the day? Fight evil through heroic sacrifice? Do anything besides talk?

No, he’s going to tell Starscream he’s a herald of death that was foretold in the robot bible.

Yeah, that’ll move some fucking product!

This isn’t even the most batshit thing Scoop’s going to pull in this event, but it is what they decided to put in the issue that “features” him.

Over with Shockwave, we’re treated to some renewed friendships, as Nova Prime and Galvatron reveal that they don’t hate each other after all, but have a mutual respect based in subjugating those weaker than them.

I’m guessing this is a contrast to their previous relationship dynamic in older publications, but I’m not going back to comb through the likes of Heart of Darkness to check, because it really doesn’t matter.

There’s a bit of a snag in Shockwave’s plan to bring Galvatron and Nova Prime back to the Not-Dead Universe, as the space bridge in the Titan burnt up when it got there. Gee, that sucks. I guess all those “Prelude” issues about getting the Titan from Gorlam Prime were sort of a waste of time, weren’t they? Love it when I’m told I wasted my time reading motherfucking Ramondelli issues.

Speaking of Ramondelli, it’s Dead Universe time.

Sigh. Hello, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop. It’s nice to see you.

No, it isn’t. I lied.

I’m sorry, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop, this isn’t your fault.

So we’re here in the Dead Universe, and it’s looking pretty wild and crazy, though the characters are likely thinking this for a completely different reason than we are as readers. It turns out, the Dead Universe… is dying.

…MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THAT’S SOME GOOD WRITIN’ RIGHT THERE

Also, Cyclonus has disappeared, not that anyone actually gives a shit, because they’re too busy dealing with the giant space leeches that just showed the hell up. Dang, why’s that happening?

…That only happens as a form of population control, or if the young in question are sickly and have a low chance of survival, not just because the mama rabbit got a bit peckish between lunch and dinner, you stupid fucking robot.

Half of this writing team won awards a couple years after this was published, I want you to remember that.

They fight the cyberwraiths for a bit, things look like they’re getting dicey, then suddenly they fuck off as Cyclonus shows up, probably fresh off the end of a goddamned panic attack because he’s back in the Dead Universe. Then he proceeds to vomit up some black energon. That’s a fun thing, glad you made me look at that.

Rodimus is concerned that one of their team members has got the Hollywood Tuberculosis cough, but Cyclonus doesn’t want his fucking pity. The fellas decide it’s time to get a move on, seeing as they’ve been here a grand total of 20 seconds and been attacked, so they need to get this over with ASAP.

As Team -Imus flies off in a ship I don’t remember them bringing along, someone decides that they’re going to stick their finger in that puddle of vomit.

Nightbeat you fucking idiot, there aren’t any sinks in the Dead Universe! Now your hand’s gonna be all gross for the entirety of this event! He’s not even analyzing it, it’s just on his hand! Why is Nightbeat having zero concept of personal hygiene a running theme in the things I read? Fuck!

You may be wondering what Nightbeat’s doing in the Dead Universe, or even where he’s been for a good chunk of IDW. We’ve seen him in flashbacks from before the war, but not during or after, least not within anything I’ve covered. So, what’s be been up to?

Fuck you, you’ll have to wait for a later issue to be told what Phase One bullshit you’ll have had to read to understand why this dumbass is here.

Back on Cybertron, Prowl is telling Bumblebee that he sucks because he’s not acting. I’m not exactly sure what he expects Bumblebee to do about the Titan who’s just standing there. It’s not like issuing a loitering ticket is going to do anything. Then the Decepticons attack them, among their ranks being the scariest fucking Ravage I’ve ever seen.

Why do you look like that? Rojo’s supposed to have the cutesy style on this team, why the fuck did he turn the kitty cat into one of the terror dogs from Ghostbusters?

Anyway, that’s the end of the issue. Sure hope you’re invested enough in trying to figure out what the fuck Nightbeat’s deal is to snag Robots in Disguise #23.

#transformers #jro #dark cybertron #issue 2 #mtmte #issue 23 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

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queen-scribbles · 4 years ago

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Ours

Here we go, only three years overdue, canon version of Tel finding out he’s a dad. :D

---

Elara was fidgeting.

It was an unusual enough sight it almost stopped Tel in his tracks. Elara Dorne--well, Airen--didn’t fidget. No matter how pleasant or unpleasant or boring the circumstances, she was the model of poise and professionalism. And she definitely. Did not. Fidget.

Except, apparently, for now. Her fingers picked at the small metallic object she held as she sat on the couch in their quarters, and she looked a hairsbreadth from bouncing her knee as well. Which meant whatever was on her mind was likely something beyond serious and should be treated accordingly.

So he swallowed any jokes he been planning and plopped down on the couch next to her. “You wanted to talk, Els?”

“I did.” She nodded, her attention still on the object in her hands. She turned it over and over, picking at the edges.

“Must be important,” Tel hinted gently when she didn’t continue.

A wry smile pulled at one side of her mouth. “It is. Dearest...” Elara bit her lip as the words petered out, then shook her head slightly and started over. “I have... something important to discuss with you; a topic I’ve been wanting to broach since... since Iokath. With our schedules it’s proven difficult to find a good time, so I’m doing it now, whether or not it’s good, and I apologize for any meetings you may miss as a result.”

“I’m all ears,” Tel promised, reaching over to give her knee a comforting squeeze. “You’re way more important to me than any meeting.”

She mustered a smile at that, then leaned forward and placed the object she’d been fiddling with on the low table in front of the couch. It was a small holoprojector, etched with a simple design, the type made to be portable and store images long term. A brush of Elara’s thumb over the controls brought it to life.

Tel examined the pale blue image when it appeared. It was a young girl--maybe seven?--with dark hair that hung almost to her waist. She was smiling impishly, and even as a holo there was no hiding the twinkle of mischievous charm in her eyes. Her hands were clasped behind her back as if trying to keep something secret just a few moments longer.

“Cute kid,” Tel said, glancing at Elara and wondering which potential direction this was going to go.

“She is,” Elara confirmed with a faint smile. “Her name is Kaira.” She reached over and laced her fingers between his. “She’s ours.”

It took half a second for her meaning to hit, and Tel flinched, grip tightening around her hand, when it did. The air seemed to freeze in his lungs for a moment as he stared at the holo.

“She...” he finally managed through the punched-in-the-gut feeling. “...Yours-and-mine ours?”

She nodded and squeezed his hand. “Are you alright, Tel?”

“Sweetheart, I’m...” A dad. I’m a dad. He gave a breathless laugh. “I’m great. A little stunned, but elated.” He freed his hand to drag her into a hug, still staring at the holo of his daughter. He had a daughter. “Weighing the pros and cons of punching Arcann in the teeth for making me miss... her, but otherwise...” A thought occurred and he frowned ever so slightly. “Did Jorgan know?”

He might be having words with the man if he had and didn’t say anything.

Elara shook her head and sat back to meet his eyes, her posture noticeably less tense. “She must have been conceived just before the Expedition was... lost” --her voice faltered for just a moment-- “and I didn’t discover I was pregnant until after the Supreme Chancellor had relieved me of my Havoc command. Jorgan and I didn’t keep in touch much past the first month or two, while he was helping me attempt to get the position back.” She smiled. “He probably wondered why I wasn’t fighting for it harder, truth be told. But between my condition and Chancellor Saresh’s obvious obstinance, it quickly became evident that was not a worthwhile fight.”

“So working for Malcolm...”

“Was actually rather perfect,” Elara confirmed the unfinished question with a nod. “I was still involved, still doing my part, but in a more administrative capacity than field work. It allowed me to... look for you and prepare for raising a child alone.”

He winced. “Sorry I wasn’t there.”

“Considering you were frozen in carbonite half a galaxy away at that point, I think I can safely say it wasn’t your fault, dearest,” she said lightly.

“And we’re back to me punching Arcann in the face,” Tel muttered, tugging her in for another hug.

“That wouldn’t really help anything at this point, darling,” Elara remonstrated, though her lips quirked toward a smile.

“Would make me feel a hell of a lot better,” he grumbled. “But I guess it wouldn’t set the best example, would it? For... Kaira.” It made him grin a little just saying her name.

She giggled faintly, the sound muffled by his shirt. “No, it wouldn’t.”

Tel rested his chin against the top of her head and gave an exaggerated huff of resignation. “Oh, fine, I won’t punch the reformed tyrant for makin’ me miss my daughter growin’ up.” He hesitated a beat, gaze back on the holo. “Els? What’s she like?”

Elara was quiet for a moment, her fingers curling into his shirt, but he could hear the smile in her voice when she spoke. “She’s... wonderful. Challenging at times, but worth every moment she’s made me want to pull my hair out. She has your smile, a fact I’ve both loved and hated depending on the day.”

He hugged her closer wordlessly, shifting so the corner of the couch would offer some support.

Elara took a deep breath. “She was a good baby, for which I’m grateful. Could likely sleep through a bombing run.”

“Els.” He didn’t want to dwell on the odds that theory had been tested, knowing what the Eternal Empire had done to Coruscant.

“We’re fine. Nothing ever came close enough,” she promised, before carrying on. “She’s extremely curious, very smart-”

“She gets that from you,” Tel muttered, which earned a quiet chuckle from his wife.

“I wouldn’t sell yourself so short, dearest. You’re not a stupid man,” she said teasingly, her fingers tracing light patterns against his collarbone.

“I was smart enough to marry you,” Tel conceded. “So I guess I’m not a total lost cause.”

“There you go, Kaira gets her smarts from both of us,” Elara laughed softly.

But more from you. Tel kept the thought to himself. “If anyone could raise a smart, amazing kid by themselves, it would be you,” he said instead.

“There you go putting me on a pedestal again,” Elara said, playful chiding in her tone.

“Again implies a point where you came down from the pedestal,” Tel rejoined.He kissed the top of her head. “You’re there for life, sweetheart.”

“Ah.” There was a smile in her voice. “Well, before you go counting up more honors for me,Tel; I did not raise her entirely on my own. I had friends who helped, and Aleksei did as well, when he could.”

“Okay, that one’s a bit of a surprise,” Tel admitted. “I thought your brother was in Republic custody?”

“He was. A ‘person of concern’, I believe was the classification; same as I once was. And then he made some valuable contributions at great personal risk in fighting the second Zakuulan assault on Coruscant, which earned him some greater freedoms. Such as lending the Republic his technical expertise and assisting me with Kaira.”

“‘Great personal risk’?” Tel repeated, having noticed how her voice caught on the phrase.

Elara gave a shaky sigh. “Let’s just say you are no longer the only person I care about who has gotten himself blown up in the course of being noble. It wasn’t quite bad enough to require cybernetics, but there was scarring. And a limp.”

Tel blew out a breath and rubbed her back. “I’m glad he’s okay, Els.”

“As am I. After recovering, he was tasked with something computer-related that kept him on Coruscant, so he could help sometimes with Kaira. A lot, actually.” She smiled again. “They’ve grown quite close. She calls him Uncle Lesky, even now that she can say his name correctly.”

Tel smiled, his brow furrowing slightly in thought. “Oh, yeah, she must be, what, six or seven by now?”

Elara stilled for a moment, then reluctantly slid from their hug so she could look at him. “That’s part of why I felt it so urgent to tell you; she’ll be six next week. I assumed you would want to meet her before then. So we could celebrate as a family.”

Yes. “I dunno Els,” he deadpanned with a faint smirk. “Depends on what you’ve told her about me.”

Elara matched his smirk. “Oh, you know, as we discussed; you’re brave, handsome, charming. How you took the stuffy Imperial no one liked and made me the happiest woman in the galaxy, every day we were together. That you always stood up for those who couldn’t protect themselves, and helped those who could stand their ground. That you have a ridiculous sweet tooth she apparently inherited along with your kindness. That you like to steal the blankets,” she continued playfully, leaning in to steal a kiss. “And that you always know how to make me laugh.” She paused, sighed. “How much you would love her.”

“And the fact I was declared KIA? That come up yet?” he asked dryly.

Her brow furrowed briefly, and Tel caught the flicker of pain that danced through her brown eyes. “It did, when she was three. I told her some people believed you died fighting something very dangerous to protect the galaxy, but they were wrong. You were still alive, fighting to keep us safe.” She looked him in the eye. “Because that’s what I believed, with all my heart. She accepted it--what’s the saying about mother knows best?--and it didn’t come up again. Then the Republic learned of your Alliance, and I could show her you were alive and” --she smiled drolly-- “fighting bad guys to keep us safe. I suspect she’d be very excited to hear she can finally meet you.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” Tel grinned, kissing the tip of Elara’s nose. “She with your brother right now?”

Elara nodded. “She is. Whenever I’m off-planet.”

“Then hell yes, see how fast you can get ‘em out here.” He kissed her again. “I know Aleksei might not be able to stay long if he has a job to get back to, but I’d like the chance to ‘meet’ him without transparisteel and a Republic watchdog in the picture.”

A soft, giddy laugh escaped her. “I’ll get right on that. As soon as I steal you for myself just a bit longer,” she amended, leaning back into his space and bracing a hand against the arm of the couch to kiss him.

Tel grinned slyly, cupping her face with one hand and running his thumb along her cheekbone. “Seventy three minutes?”

Elara smiled back mischievously and carded her fingers through his hair until her hand rested at the back of his head. “If you think we can manage that long...”

He closed the distance to capture her lips in a kiss. “Sweetheart, I’d like to see them try and stop us.”

----

They got forty seven minutes, which was frankly longer than either of them had really expected, before Tel’s comm started trilling. And so, with much grumbling about “no rest for the wicked”, he got himself together and headed off to see what the Alliance needed, leaving Elara to work out getting their daughter to Odessen.

She slipped the holo in his pocket as he headed out the door. “In case you want to show her off.”

And show her off he did; to Theron, Lana, Vette, Senya--anyone at all who commented on the grin he couldn’t seem to wipe off his face. He did his best not to be distracted from the Important Alliance Business that required his attention, but a man had his limits.

He slipped a hand in his pocket to curl around the cool metal as he tried to focus on Aygo’s briefing about ship deployments rather than what was (hopefully) coming soon, and smiled to himself.

I can’t wait to meet you, Kaira.

--------------------------------

(I was originally gonna take this through Tel actually getting to meet Kaira, but that part’s getting crazy long and I need to work on other stuff that has actual deadlines, so it’ll have to wait.)

#queens fic #telcontar airen #elara dorne #telara #otp: 73 minutes #i love them i love them I LOVE THEM

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benkouji726 · 5 years ago

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Oil and rain and grass and pine cones

Summary: Alex doesn't do Alphas. But Michael is also not your average type of Alphas.

Warning: ABO Universe. With Alex being Omega, and Michael being Alpha. But there was almost no sex scenes and their dynamic is not like traditional alpha-omega ones. Some curse words and discussions about sex tho.

----------------------------------

Alex hated all Alphas with a passion. Well, almost all Alphas with the exception of Maria DeLuca.

But other than her, in all twenty eight years of his life, during which he suffered through his childhood and his teenage years, enlisted so he could escape his war at home, survived three tours albeit losing a leg and discharged honorably, he almost never met an Alpha who was humble, kind or truly believed in equal rights. If he was being totally honest, he’d say the majority of his misery was in one way or another linked to some Alpha douchebags in particular or just the whole Alpha worshipping society in general.

Besides, almost all Alphas reminded him a little of his father, so his hatred was really justified.

And now, sitting in Wild Pony, nursing his second beer, Alex’s annoyances with Alphas reaches an all time high.

You see, when he was in the military, there were regulations to reign the Alphas in line. They were not happy about it, sure, but soldiers followed orders, and the Equal Rights Act meant they were ordered to behave respectfully towards Omegas, even if they didn’t want to. And truth be told, when they were at war, little things like who smelled like what didn’t matter anymore, what mattered was who could watch your back. And Alex was very good at watching other’s backs. With his intelligence, his fierceness, and his unwavering loyalty, he was soon recognized not as the only Omega in his unit, but a leader and a comrade. After he lost his leg, received the medal and became a very young captain, even the whispers about him being some petite Omega were gone.

But when he was sitting at the bar, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, his hair a bit longer, every Alpha in Roswell seemed to see right past his hard work and his tough owned honorable discharge, they took a sniff of him, and saw nothing but an unmated Omega. Even the ones in the parade they threw him when he came home didn’t behave any better.

It grazed on his nerves, SO MUCH.

He was debating whether he should just call it a day and go home, or stay a bit longer until some unfortunate fool irratated him ever further and ended up with a fist to said fool’s face when his decision was being made, by SOME FOOL.

“Well well, do you smell good”. The guy, the Alpha drawled, crowding into his space, half his face hiding under a black cowboy hat so he didn’t even have the courtesy to meet Alex in the eye, and honest to God SNIFFED, right under Alex’s left ear.

Gritting his teeth, Alex turned to him. He put on a big smile, all teeth, took off the man’s hat unexpectedly, which surprised him, judging by his wide eyes, and leaned forward to SNIFF BACK.

“Sadly the same can not be said about you”, he said, a bit condescendingly, “what is that? Oil and rain? That’s a weird combination. And not a good one.”

Alex expected the guy to be angered and maybe launch an attack, or at least snarled at him. He did neither of those things.

He laughed, wholeheartedly.

“Maria is right. You ARE interesting.” He said, with amusement. His eyes were crinkling because of the laughter, and when he looked at Alex closely, they were filled with interest and kindness.

Alex was taken aback, to say the least. His anger was replaced with curiosity.

He looked at the guy, this time really looked. And OK, maybe Alex still hated Alphas, but this Alpha was maybe the hottest he had ever met.

And his eyes BY FAR the prettiest.

“Wait, you know Maria?” He totally blamed the guy’s unfair attractiveness for his way slower than usual realization.

“Yeah, I’m a regular here”, the guy smiled. And he was even hotter when he smiled, damn him. “And Maria wouldn’t shut up about you whenever you guys contacted. ‘How brave of Alex to enlist, you know, as an Omega!’ ‘He really made a change for all the Omegas out there!’ ‘He is the most wonderful person I’ve ever met!’ I mean, we get it. Your best friend is a living legend, can I get another drink?”

Alex blushed. He was never one to handle praise well. So he changed the subject quickly. “She told you about me, seems like you’re more than a regular.”

The guy shrugged. “We used to date for a while, didn’t work. I’m Michael Guerin by the way, I feel like if I don’t voluntarily offer up that information you’d never ask.”

Alex ignored the flirty bit. “You used to date? But you and Maria are both Alphas, no?”

The guy, OK, Guerin shrugged again. “What does it matter? I liked her, she liked me. We decided to give it a try. We didn’t split up because we were having gender problems, but...”

“But because you were a jerk who hit on Alex even if I specifically told you not to?” Maria appeared out of nowhere and startled them both.

Which really said a lot about how much Alex was affected by Guerin, because one, he didn’t startle easily, and two, when had he begun to so invest in Guerin’s words he forgot to notice his surroundings?

He NEVER forgot to notice his surroundings.

He shook his head, and ignored that too.

“It can hardly be called ‘hitting on’ if you ask me. An offensive comment maybe, not even close to flirtation.”

Guerin instantly turned his full attention to him again, which was a little flattering. “Ouch!” He even POUTED. He was ridiculous.

He was also very cute, Alex kinda hated him for that, because he couldn’t seem to look away from his ridiculousness. And to make things worse, Guerin was staring right at him too.

Maria coughed. “Should I come back?”

Alex had to shook himself out of it, whatever it was. And reminded himself what a bad idea this was. “No, actually, I was planning to head home just now. See you at the fair?” Maria nodded.

He then turned to Guerin. “See you around, I guess.”

Something like disappointment and wistfulness flashed through Guerin’s eyes, but he quickly smirked, all emotions well hidden, “Not if I see you first.” He WINKED.

Honestly, he was RIDICULOUS.

————————————

He should be surprised by Guerin’s appearance at the fair, but somehow he was not.

He WAS surprised by Maria’s sudden departure when Guerin showed up though. She didn’t even make up a good excuse, just vaguely pointed at something (or someone) far away, and muttered “I gotta go”, then she was gone.

Alex stared at Maria’s disappearing figure, unbelievingly.

“What the fuck was that?” He demanded.

To his credit, Guerin was a bit bashful this time. “I may have begged her to give us some alone time”, he wrinkled his nose, “her execution is to be improved though.”

Alex was having a headache. “What do you want, Guerin?”

Guerin was visibly hurt by that. What the fuck, he thought Alphas didn’t give a shit about what Omegas thought of them. And his hurt look did something to Alex’s insides, which, double FUCK.

He forced himself to be gentler. “I’m sorry if I’m being too harsh. But I don’t do Alphas. That’s like my number 1 relationship rule. So you shouldn’t waste your time on me.”

Guerin relaxed a little, and turned curious. “So what, you just date Betas?”

“Or Omegas.” He had a very brief relationship with an Omega once, they parted on friendly terms.

“Let me guess, you’d rather not talk about why you don’t wanna date Alphas.”

Alex shrugged. “Not so much to talk about. I just have had enough bad experience with Alphas and I don’t wanna deal with them anymore.”

Guerin considered that for a minute. “But you are best friends with Maria.”

“Yeah, well, we grew up together. And she was pretty much the only exception. Besides, I don’t want to date her either.” Not because she was Alpha, Alex didn’t say, but he was only attracted to men, no matter what their ABO gender was.

Guerin pushed on. “Your father and two of your brothers are Alphas too.”

Alex was immediately going into defense mode. “So? You don’t have crappy family members?”

The silence that followed stretched an uncomfortable amount of time, but Alex refused to back down.

Eventually Guerin said, in a quiet voice. “I don’t technically have any family member.”

Shit. But still. “Technically?”

Guerin smiled bitterly. “I have two siblings who are not related to me. We grew up in the system together for a while, and they got adopted by a nice family, but not me. We are close now. But TECHNICALLY I don’t have any relatives.”

Alex didn’t know what to say to that. So he didn’t say anything.

After a while, Guerin shook his head, and muttered. “This was a mistake.”

He put on his hat, and left.

This time, Alex was the one feeling disappointed.

—————————————

He met Michael the next time, VERY awkwardly, in a sex shop.

His heat was getting nearer, and he didn’t have anyone to spend it with. He COULD look for some Alpha in a bar and every one of them would gladly help him out, but again, not doing Alphas.

So he was at the sex shop, trying to buy something that would help him dealing with the upcoming situation, when he spotted Guerin, inspecting something huge and purple.

It was a dildo. Just like the one Alex was holding. What the odds.

Alex was so surprised he didn’t even notice Guerin spotted him too.

They stood in mutual shock, staring at each other. Both HOLDING A DILDO.

Guerin acted at last. He coughed, nodded at Alex, and turned to leave. He disappeared quickly into the other room. Where the shop stored various porn.

Unfortunately that was the direction Alex was headed too.

So he stood there, had no strategic plans to navigate this whole situation, when someone approached him from behind.

“What are you doing with this hideous thing, sweetheart?” Alex rolled his eyes at that. An Alpha who thought his knot was way better than any artificial ones. Great. “I bet I can give you whatever you need.” The Alpha was looking Alex up and down in a very suggestive way, which was just gross.

Alex was ready to give the guy a piece of his mind when Guerin reappeared, apparently already selected his porn of the day. He somehow felt the need to speak up on Alex’s behalf.

“With your small knot? I doubt it. At least the dildo wouldn’t give him some unspeakable disease.”

Alex wanted to sigh. So hard. He glared at Guerin, as if to say “really? Going after the SIZE? That’s your best move?” But Guerin didn’t even look his way, he was busy being in a staring contest with that man. Some macho shit Alex did not want to tolerate even a bit.

He walked up to the man, stood before him, until he looked back at him. He then said in a calm and peaceful voice. “What I NEED, is none of your business. And if you ever so much as look at me again, YOU will need some good lawyer, and maybe some doctors too.”

The man looked like he wanted to riot, but Alex stood his ground, and stared him down. Eventually he backed away. He spit on the floor, threw out an “omega bitch” and left, tail between his legs.

All bullies were just cowards. Alex was almost tired to be proven right yet again.

He turned back to Guerin, about to lecture him about how the “knight in a shining armor” behavior was outdated and so not necessary, when Guerin said, in awe.

“That was so hot.”

Alex was stunned. Meanwhile Guerin seemed he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. So Alex blurted the first thing that came to his mind.

“Why are you buying a dildo?”

That was a wrong move. Because now ALEX wanted to disappear and never come back.

But then Guerin smirked, and replied in a flirtatious manner. “What, just because I have a big knot, doesn’t mean I don’t want to be fucked in the ass now and then. I thought you were woke, man.”

OK, so he was not like any Alphas Alex had known. Maybe that was why he flirted right back.

“If you say so.” He deliberately looked at Guerin’s crotch when he said that.

The shop suddenly became warmer under Guerin’s heated gaze.

————————————————

He went through his heat thinking about Guerin’s big knot and fantasizing how he would take the dildo up in his ass. The heat lasted three days, he had the most intense orgasms in a long time, and he felt extra lonely when it was over.

He ran into Guerin the next day after his heat at Crashdown. He knew he was still reeking sex and leftover hormones, but he was craving the pie, and he was just going to order a pie to go. But when he went out of the diner, Guerin was going in.

He was obviously happy to see Alex, and he had this big smile on his face. Then he stepped closer, and got a sniff from Alex. His pupils immediately dilated.

Before Alex could say anything, he turned around and walked away.

Frustratingly, Alex felt aroused again.

———————————

Despite their awkward encounter at the diner, things got better between them. Alex met his two siblings, and Max turned out to be Liz’s boyfriend, who was the other member of the “inseparable three” alongside Alex and Maria. The six of them quickly formed some sort of friend group, with the addition of Kyle Valenti, who was Alex’s high school bully and Liz’s high school sweetheart, but now a friend to both of them.

They hung out a lot, either in the diner or at the bar. With all the friends around, Alex and Michael were able to put their mutual attraction aside, and became good friends. As they spent more time together, Alex found out that Michael was really not your average Alpha. He might appear that way, but he was gentle and kind inside, he didn’t always want to show his vulnerability, and sometimes he was frustratingly stubborn, but Alex was also having problems to open up, so he couldn’t exactly fault Michael for that.

The most surprising part in their friendship, was how they understood each other. Sometimes they didn’t even need to talk, just one look, and they got it perfectly.

After about three months, they started to hang out outside the group too. Alex would go to the airstream after a long day of work, and sat in front of the fire pit with Michael, both holding a beer in their hands, talking about nothing and everything. They found out their mutual interest in music, and soon enough, they were sitting in Alex’s front yard, writing music or just playing some tunes together. By the end of the fifth month since they knew each other, Michael fixed everything that was not working properly in Alex’s house, and Alex learned how to navigate through Michael’s small kitchen in his airstream.

Alex still spent his heat alone. He stopped looking for company altogether.

———————————————

The touches began around the half year mark. At that time, Alex felt like he was always happy and grounded around Michael, and he felt this deeply seeded needs to be near him or touch him all the time. And whenever he felt unease or worked up, a touch from Michael would effectively calm him down. He also noticed he had more or less the same impact on Michael, like right now, they were having a after work get together, the six of them. Michael was late because he was caught up at work. When he showed up, he was visibly upset. He went straight to their table, ignored the others, sat right beside Alex, and buried his head into the junction between Alex’s neck and shoulder. He took a deep breath there, which was COMPLETELY not appropriate considering they were a pair of unmated Alpha and Omega. But all Alex felt was concern and softness, so he put a hand in Michael’s curls, and gently massaged his scalp. Michael seemed to melt into him, he let out a small moan, and moved closer to him. He even put his arms around Alex, hugging him tight.

When Alex looked up, the whole table was staring at them.

Alex wanted to ask what was wrong, but he thought of the amount of time they spent together, the way they always looked after each other, the connection between them either when they were talking or simply be together, the constant needs to be near and touch each other, and some part of him already knew the answer.

Isobel gave the answer anyway. “You are bonding, aren’t you.” It was not a question.

Michael looked up at him then, his eyes big, hope and fear tangling in them, and Alex felt his heart stopped for a second.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” He didn’t know how to feel about it.

—————————————

He was going into heat in thee days, and he had avoided Michael for four.

Every minute of the four days was excruciating. They were already bonding, a bond this new couldn’t handle this much separation, he was crawling out of his skin.

So when Michael showed up at his door, at the ungodly hour of 2am, he thought at first he was hallucinating due to his lack of sleep and the fact that he was missing Michael like crazy.

But Michael wouldn’t be this exhausted and fragile in his hallucination, he looked like he was only holding himself up by the last power of his will.

They practically collapsed into each other, kissing fervently and desperately. They might have exchanged a few words like “you dumbass you scared the shit out of me” from Michael and “shut up and kiss me” from Alex, but it was all in a haze. Alex didn’t even realize they moved until he found them on his bed, panting to each other’s mouth.

Until he felt wetness between his legs and heat and lust consuming him.

Shit.

He managed to pull back a little, and said, a bit panicky. “I think I’m going into heat.”

Michael was at once sobered by that. “I thought it wasn’t for another three days?”

“How did you...”

“Come on, Alex”, Michael was blushing now. “Every time your heat was over, I couldn’t stand near you for like a week. You smelled so good and it killed me because you chose to spend it with someone else.”

Alex couldn’t believe it. “You’re kidding, right? You didn’t notice I always smelled just like myself, no trace of other people on me?”

Michael blushed even hard. “I didn’t dare to smell you more than I had to, you know? It was hard enough for me to control myself on a normal day, when you came out of a heat, you smelled incredibly good, like some combination of grass, pine cone and earth. But also sweet. It drove me crazy that I couldn’t bury myself in it.”

He inhaled deeply, now having permission. “Like now, I’m this close losing myself because of your scent.”

He looked like he was already losing it. Eyes dark, face flushed, cock hard.

Alex was losing it himself too. But he needed say this before they went further.

“I lied. I told you when we first met, that your smell of oil and rain was weird. But in fact it attracted me immediately. I denied my feelings and desires for you because I didn’t want to believe in Alphas. But you proved me wrong, and God, I’ve never been so happy that I was wrong.” He said in a rush because he was having more and more trouble to formulate coherent thoughts by the minute.

Michael smiled, he was hard as a rock, but he stopped everything to look at Alex with all he’s got. “Is this your roundabout way to tell me you love me?”

Alex was so drunk in love he didn’t even care anymore. “Yes.”

Michael softened and kissed him, again and again. “I love you too.”

They stared at each other for a minute before Michael bent down, and gently bit Alex on his throat.

Bond complete.

#Malex #malex fic #my fic #abo universe #my first abo fic #yeah #unbeta'd #because im exhausted #and its 2 am here #maybe ill check it tomorrow for grammar mistakes or sth

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spiiderwiick · 4 years ago

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If You Give A Clown A Rules Class

Well. They signed up for this. This is their fault and their fault only.

Wick sent off a text message to Patches. They had driven themselves to the park bright and early to prepare for this. Part of them expected her not to show, that it was all some act and she was going to just ghost them.

Instead their phone started to spew black goop from it and they dropped it in surprise. Ugh. There went their phone screen, they realized. God fucking damnit.

“why can’t you be normal for once in your fucking life.” They groaned.

The goop bubbled in response as Patches finished pulling herself through in the least normal way possible. Once reformed, she straightened up to loom above them, “You really should expect this from me. You’ve known me for a year, longer than anyone else has ever had the great misfortune to know me.”

“i know and i hate you.”

“It’s mutual.”

Somehow they didn’t think that was entirely true. Not after the last month, especially not after the night before.

“let’s just. get this over with.” Teaching a clown how to be a good polite little haunter was not something they ever thought they’d do, “i don’t think i need to give you much on like. how to scare people. you know setup and scare, you know the types of scares that work best for you. boo and help me are off limits. even if i know that if anyone could make boo scary, it would be you.”

“Yes.” Patches grinned toothily at that. Too many teeth for her got dang face.

“ugh. you need to keep arm’s length away from the patrons. i don’t particularly care if you get punched in the face for getting too close, but i do care if someone punches you in the face and manages to stab themselves on your of your five-thousand teeth.” Wick continued, they couldn’t even remember half their usual rules right now, there was too much going on, “and uh.... no. swears. but you don’t do that anyway, do you? um... personal attacks against patrons is off-limits. you can talk shit about whatever costume they’re wearing but not about them. but i think you can be more creative than that anyway.”

“Keep trying to appeal to my competitive nature, see what happens.” Fuck around and find out.

Wick rolled their eyes at her, “there are prizes for actors who do a really good job each night. sometimes it’s sweets. but you’d have to really stick to the rules for that.”

“I can’t be bought with sweets.” Patches replied flatly.

Wick knew that to be a lie, but didn’t comment on it, “i’m going to need to you stay wherever you are assigned. the entire time.”

Ah. Patches didn’t look so amused by that, “And where would that be?”

“i don’t know yet.” They admitted, “i was thinking the field, cause you’d have trees and a big area to play in. but i don’t know if the horses would be too scared of you. they’re brave, but you’re. you.”

“Very eloquent.”

“shut up i’m trying here. so could you.” Wick narrowed their eyes and glared up at her, “i thought about putting you in the clown hospital because you’re you, but that might be a little crowded for you to really stretch out and do fucked up monster shit.”

Patches took a moment to consider her options. She knew the show quite well, thanks to all her snooping. Most of her shenanigans had been on the main trail at the start of the show, she knew there weren’t cameras on majority of it. The field was a good option, but so was the graveyard near the end of the show, before the picnic pavilion. There were still trees there, though no actual cover to disappear into. Reluctant as she was to admit it, they may have picked the best option right off the bat, “I don’t know, horses are capable of evil, I’m sure we’d get along.”

What a fucking statement.

“that’s. you know what. okay. we’ll put you there. give the horses some space in case they’re scared of you though. you can be some fucked up monster that’s terrorizing the ghost town if you need to stay all the way away from them.” Wick groaned faintly. They were so sure this was going to become a disaster, even with the planning and fail safes.

“oh!” Fuck, they nearly forgot one of the other most important rules. They wave their hands in a back off gesture, “if you see anyone doing this. back off. it means someone is terrified to the point of it being a problem. i don’t care if it’s a kid or an adult. you see someone do that, you back the fuck off. okay?”

That earned another eye roll from Patches, “Whatever.”

“no. not whatever. you are not going to ruin the show or leave someone so traumatized they never come back. you know we can remove you now if we need to. maybe benrey’ll put you to sleep again for a few hours if you won’t cooperate.”

Oh. That was a threat. Normally she’d be proud of them for it, but the metaphorical wounds were a little too fresh still. Her eye narrowed at them, “Big talk for such a small spider. He can’t protect you forever.”

The temptation to call her out for her apparent inability to harm them was immense. Still, they didn’t want to push their luck. There was always a chance she’d get angry enough to push through it and do something she may or may not regret later. To them, deflection seemed like the best tactic, “this isn’t even about me. this is about you not ruining everything we’ve built. about us getting to keep the show alive. us not getting canned because some idiot decided to let the murder clown be a part of the show as a halloween treat.”

“You’re the idiot who made that decision.”

“i know i’m the idiot who made that decision. i’m just asking you not to make me regret it. that’s all. behave for one night. please.”

“Fine.” Getting Patches to agree to anything was like pulling teeth. Getting her to keep her word was another beast entirely, Wick knew, “Anything else I should know? Or are we done here?”

“well... i need you to stay in-set the whole time. you’ll go out there with the rest of the actors, and come back in at the end of the night with everyone else.” Their eyes dropped to the ground for a moment, “uhh... first hour of the show is family hour. it’s halloween, so a lot of families might be doing the trick or treating thing instead of coming to the haunt, so the first hour might be slow. you can.. act with your set-mates. keep each other entertained. just. go easy on them. there’s usually younger folks in that set. we don’t want our volunteers to be too scared to come back next year either.”

Patches let out an irritated huff, “So you picked the worst night, huh?”

“i picked the only night left.” Wick groaned again. Why was she so insufferable? No... They can save this, “halloween is the best night anyway. we get to go totally off the shits. crank up the volume, spin a big ol’ roulette wheel for what costume goes to what set. hell. if we’ve got enough clown costumes. we could make all of our ghost cowboys into your little yeehaw ghost clown minions.”

It was a good save, it even got an amused chuckle out of the alpha clown, “I’m listening.”

Oh god. “well. i’ll have to run it by casting.. and wardrobe..... and makeup. and ask anyone who pre-cast for the field but... it’s certainly doable. especially as light on actors as we usually are on halloween.”

Patches seemed pleased at the idea of lording over a bunch of tiny clowns. This was progress. Wick even managed a small grin up at her, “only other thing i can think of right now.. is please don’t tear up the lawn. or the trees. or any part of the park or the sets. the horses are on thin ice as it is for all the hoofprints, if there’s giant clown claw marks all over everything, they’ll kick us out for sure.”

“And you’ll be keeping an eye on me, I presume?”

“we’ve got cameras on the field, so yeah. ‘n benrey’ll be keeping a few eyes on you too.” Not ideal by the way the clown grimaced in response. Alright, “hey, do weird enough shit and maybe they’ll snag some of the security footage for our yearly video.”

“Careful what you ask for.”

“oh don’t worry, i’m regretting this already.”

“Good.”

This was going to be an interesting night.

#drabble #f2f #jpstandsforjustpatches

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itzasunflower · 5 years ago

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“The Three Stages of a Party.” (part three)

-> no warnings, just angst and fluff.

part one,, part two,, part three

The Last Stage; The After-Party and The Truths Untold.

The next morning, you woke up with a heavy headache. The sun was blinding your vision and warming your bare legs. Your body felt so uncomfortable as you still were in your tight dress from last night. Just by this sense of touch, you could remember to yourself that miserable party of that night, and to add more water to your already-full-cup, your miserable drunk self. Shame, you just felt ashamed.

You looked at the ceiling a few seconds, and started to itch your puffy eyes while stretching your lazy body. Suddenly, your legs hit something, or someone to be exact. Haechan? What the fuck, he was shirtless. This boy. If only you had not thrown up on him... that was embarrassing. He was sitting on the ground, his back against the opposite side of the couch, with his head lowered. Ouch, his neck might hurt. You did not want to wake him up. Hence, you sat down beside him, and placed his head on your shoulder. You knew that you should have not done this: Haechan had a girlfriend now, and this thought made you want to keep your distance far from him but you could not retain yourself from taking care of your lover. Hearing the birds singing, you concluded that it was too early to begin the day and put your head on his. You were so eager to put his hand in yours, caress it with your thumb, and whisper him how much you loved him. He was so close yet so far, the world felt so heavy all of a sudden. You sighed and went back to sleep quite easily as you wanted to forget faster how deeply heartbroken you were and how tired you were from the early morning headache.

After what seemed like an hour for you, a voice made you flinch off of your sleep.

“Okay baby, I’ll be home in the afternoon.” Haechan murmured with his husky voice of the morning. You did not want to wake up to him calling another girl baby though. Was their relationship even serious? Whatsoever, you felt like you could never have him, as usual. You were used to this empty feeling, but now it was different, it was a total reality. Your head was on Haechan’s shoulder, and you just wished you could stay like this all day long. His voice, his perfume, his soft skin, you were going to miss it, damn. It hurt how much you wanted to be his, and how much you wanted to be whoever this girl might be. She was lucky to have such a mature, handsome and goofy man as her boyfriend.

“Hi dickhead.” you mouthed as you stood up, and gave him a little awkward smile while he was still on call with his girlfriend. It hurt so much, seeing him talking to his lover, who was obviously not you. You pointed out to your outfit to tell him that you were going to change. You picked two extra large t-shirts from your closet, one for you, and the other one for the shirtless Haechan: buying men’s t-shirt is a big yes. You put the t-shirt on and left your legs naked. Then, you went to take off your ugly make-up from yesterday, wash your face and brush your teeth to look a little less miserable. After that, you went back to see Haechan who was drinking water in the kitchen.

“There, put a t-shirt on sir.” you said coldly, and threw it to him. “Whatever I said yesterday.. it wasn’t totally false though.” You hesitated a second before saying out loud the last part of your sentence, but this situation needed to stop: he deserved to know the truth, and you needed to let go of this to move on peacefully. You bravely looked at him straight in the eye. “Look, I’ve been in love with you for the past few years, but I just can’t handle it anymore. Now that you have a girlfriend.. I’m super happy for you yet I feel so miserable for myself.” you gulped at your own words, how embarrassing. You felt even more miserable when he just walked past you without saying anything. His face was expressionless, and unreadable. An electric shock crossed your body. Your tears filled your eyes, but you just avoided them, closing your eyes as tightly as you could. Were you two over from this moment on? You turned your back to see him wearing your t-shirt and putting on his shoes. He was going to be gone forever, and you could not believe it was going to end like this. “So that’s how it ends? You don’t have the balls to tell me anything? Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend? You made my hopes up, and now you’re going to leave like a fucker? Bullshit!”

“Shut the fuck up!” he yelled, looking at you with his frowned eyebrows. “Were you that blind to see that I felt the same all these years?! Everytime I showed you how much I cared about you, you’ve always taken it for granted. And it hurt me too! Now that I have a girlfriend, you’re complaining? I just need someone who sees the efforts I make for them. How many times I wanted to take you on dates, but yeah, I didn’t have the balls. So what now?! I’m still in love with you, but you’ve waited for me to have a girlfriend to confess?” These words escaped his mouth all at once, as he made some steps towards you. He looked down at you, and it made you panicked. His confession turned your brain off, you could not even think straight, neither your eyes knew what to look at. It felt awkward not to be able to say anything. You were hard-headed, so you were usually always talking back to people, you loved to have the last word. Haechan was the only one to put you right in your place, and that was one of the reasons you loved him: he was brave enough to face you when you were wrong. However, although you were hardheaded, you were really softhearted, you just did not show it often. You could tell Haechan was confused not to see you responding back to him. “Talk to me, we have things to talk about.”

“Why having a girlfriend then? Just, why?” you finally looked up at him, with a tear falling on your cheek. Oh, fuck, not tears. “You didn’t have to move on like this, and to keep on making my hopes up. It’s totally unnecessary and mean.” you erased quickly your tear and waited for his answer. He confessed to you, yet you needed more explanation. How could someone move on so easily?

“I didn’t know my feelings were mutual. And in order not to hurt myself more, I wanted to forget you while dating another girl. I know what I’m doing is bad, but I couldn’t help myself.” he lowered his head, feeling ashamed of his actions. It was the worst solution, and he had chosen it anyway. You felt a bit disappointed, but what could you do? This is humans’ wrongs. You sighed in response.

And at this exact moment, you craved to hold his hand, which was so easy of access, to comfort him. You gave up, and just did it anyway. Your eyes were fixing on your fingers intertwining his for the very first time, and your heart softened. Oh, you hated this side of you though. But, it made you realize that both of you just confessed each other’s feelings. You felt nothing more but relief.

“It’s okay, just tell her the truth. What you did was bad, indeed, but you can’t judge yourself. Okay?” you whispered, while your eyes were still glued to your hands.

You suddenly felt Haechan’s hand on your chin, to lift it up. His eyes were mesmerizing, and you could not take your eyes off of them. And at that moment, you also thought about what you two were going to be, a couple? close friends? how did things were going to turn after these confessions? And when you blinked, you didn’t know how close your faces were. You were getting closer and closer so slowly, and it drove you crazy. Fuck it. You grabbed him by his collar and kissed him tenderly. Your lips were perfectly synchronized, and it felt so good to feel the warmth of his mouth after such a long wait.

What the future holds, only belongs to the future. You wanted to know what you two would become, but you decided to let go of your overthinking and fears to live with the flow. Right now, you were in your lover’s embrace, and it was all that mattered. “I love you.” he shushed, caressing your cheeks and looking at you like you were the eighth wonder of the world. His eyes’ sparkles lighted up your world, and you could not be happier. “I hate you, why would you make me wait for so long, god!” you giggled, hitting his shoulders and went directly for a hug. Fatality, was it so? Who knows.

Hello guys, so that was the last part of TTSP! It’s my first time writing a story with chapters, I’m usually very bad at keeping writing about the same plot, in the long -not so long though- run. I really tend to write one-shots, so it was kinda a challenge for me! It was really interesting to go through this process, I just now can pinpoint more easily my weaknesses and know what I can do to improve my plots, and writing! Thank you for those who have read the three parts and liked it! If you have any request, just tell me! If my writings can be an escape for you, it’ll be a pleasure for me to write for you! -🧸

#haechan fluff #nct fluff #haechan blurbs #nct blurbs #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 blurbs #haechan #haechan angst #nct angst #nct 127 angst #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #haechan imagines #haechan scenarios

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i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend · 5 years ago

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Queer Eye for the Cap Guy ~ Part 8

A/N: Hi my lovelies. Happy Valentine’s Day! So we’ve reached the end of this story. I have two more bonus scenes coming at some point but I’m not sure when. But this is the end of the main story. Thank you all for all of your support during this story. I can’t wait to share more stories with you!

Summary: The Fab Five watch Steve’s dinner party and retirement party.

Rating: T

Warnings; Language, feels, not much else

Word Count: 2763

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

(image from google)

Carpe Posterum ~ Seize the Future

“Antoni, henny, what delicious treat did you make for us today?” Jonathan asked as he leaned on the counter in the loft.

“Chocolate mousse with chocolate from the best shop in Brooklyn with fresh whipped cream.”

“Yummy.”

“It’s time to check in with our favorite Avenger,” Bobby announced excitedly.

“Are we ready?” Karamo asked as he grabbed the remote.

“Yasss!”

They settled themselves on the couch and started Steve’s reveal.

Steve stood in front of his mirror still in the white Henley, pondering what to wear.

“He is so gorgeous,” Jonathan gushed.

“Oh my gosh, yes,” Karamo agreed.

Steve finally settled on a light blue Henley over dark jeans, with a pair of brown boots.

“Tan, do you approve?”

“It’s a bit more casual than I’d want, but honestly this is such a huge step up from what he was doing. I’m happy.”

“Plus these are like his closest friends. I think he looks comfortable,” Bobby added.

“Agreed.

Steve pulled the iron man apron over his head with a chuckle and tossed a tea towel over his shoulder as he prepared the lasagna.

Everything was ready only moments before his doorbell rang.

“Oh. My. God.”

Y/n was the first to react, jaw dropping to the floor as she scanned him up and down, settling on his neatly trimmed beard.

“You look amazing.”

“Come on in. Take a good look at the Fab Five’s handiwork.”

“Holy shit,” Bucky swore as they piled into the building. “You almost look presentable.”

Despite the jab, Bucky was beaming at his best friend.

“You look great, man.”

“Come on, give us a twirl.”

Steve did a slow turn with his arms out so they could see the whole look.

“Umm, y/n definitely just checked out his butt.”

“Who could blame her, henny?”

They each hugged him in turn, but Steve didn’t let go of y/n. Opting instead to keep her tucked into his side. She didn’t mind in the least.

“Are you ready to see the place?”

“Hell yes!”

As expected, Sam and Bucky were immediately enthralled with garage and the state of the art home gym. Y/n, however, was much more taken with the first floor of the living space.

“It’s so light and open. I love it.”

“I do too.”

Bucky gave Steve a watery smile when he sat in the wingback chair.

“Thank you for that by the way.”

“My pleasure. But I don’t think we’ll both fit anymore.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Steve hummed. “But that’s why we have this great sectional.”

“Can we just talk about the fact that he has not let go of Y/n once since she came in.”

“I’m sensing a love connection.”

“It seems reciprocated at least.”

“Oh 100%. She is so sweet. And you can tell how much she cares about him.”

“Same with him. He would go completely soft talking about her. He always smiled when he talked about her.”

“Hopefully, he’ll make a move.”

“How did the week go?” Natasha asked as she perched on the back of the sectional after they’d finished the quick tour of the upstairs.

“It was different than what I expected,” Steve admitted.

“What did you expect?” Bucky asked.

“I guess I thought it would be more of a passive experience. Like I thought they would just tell me what to wear, or how I should style my hair. I didn’t expect it to be a conversation. That was really nice.”

“So you feel like you had a say in all of the decisions?”

He nodded his agreement.

“Definitely. And I haven’t felt this in control of my life in probably ever. And now it feels like I can, you know, maybe enjoy retirement.”

They all smiled, and y/n patted his thigh.

“We’re so happy to hear you say that.”

“Does that mean we’re forgiven for nominating you for the show?” Sam joked.

“I was never all that mad, so I’m not sure forgiveness is necessary, but my gratitude certainly is. Thank you. All of you for caring enough to do this. I love you all, and I haven't told you that nearly enough.”

“We love you too, punk.” Bucky clapped him on the shoulder and pulled him into him.

“So Antoni actually managed to teach you how to cook?” Natasha asked, warily eyeing the lasagna which looked too good to be true.

“Yes, he did.”

“But he didn’t help you make this?” Sam clarified.

“Nope. Did it all my own.”

“Yeah, you did! Like a champ,” Antoni cheered.

Y/n quickly cut a bite and forked it into her mouth to shut them up, burning her tongue in the process.

“Ouch.” She muffled a curse in her water glass.

“You okay, doll?”

She coughed, thumping her chest.

“Yeah, I’m good. It’s just very hot. It’s delicious though. Antoni taught you well.”

Steve preened.

“Look how proud he is!”

“Well it helps that it’s coming from her too.”

“She really is so lovely.”

As the others dug in, adding their surprised by honest praise, Steve and Y/n shared a look.

“Ack. Look at the secret smile!”

After dinner, Sam and Bucky raced to the basketball court to settle their latest ridiculous argument and Natasha busied herself with the dartboard. Steve knew they were trying to help him out subtly – well not so subtly – since all of them winked super exaggeratedly.

“That is how you wingman,” Karamo announced.

“I can take care of those, y/n,” Steve argued as y/n started soaping up the dishes.

“Please,” she waved him off. “You cooked. I can clean up. Dinner was delicious by the way, Steve. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. But seriously, just let those soak,” he insisted, reaching around her at the sink to turn off the water. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh?”

Her voice rose in excitement as she turned, still trapped between him and the sink (not that she was complaining). He grinned down at her.

“The tension is seriously killing me.”

“I have not rooted for two people to kiss so much since Mia Thermopolis was about to be crowned Queen of Genovia and totally didn’t need a husband, but had that hunky Chris Pine ready to be her prince. And let’s be real, who doesn’t want to kiss Chris Pine.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Tan teased as Jonathan sat back pleased with his reference.

“Yep, I made a special dessert all for you.”

“Really?” Her eyes lit up at the prospect.

“Yeah, Antoni taught me. Gave me a foolproof recipe for your favorite. It’s only got two ingredients and none of the equipment plugs in.”

“Steve, did you make me chocolate mousse?”

He shrugged and gestured toward the island.

“Have a seat.”

She hopped onto the comfortable bar stool, crossing her legs as she watched him rummage around in the fridge.

“She looks like she wants to eat him up,” Jonathan guffawed.

“The quickest way to my heart is through food, so I’m not surprised.”

“Get it, girl.”

Steve emerged victorious with two extra large martini glasses filled with chocolate mousse and a canister of fresh whipped cream.

“Umm, bonus points for presentation!” Antoni cheered, bouncing up and down on the couch.

“Wait you didn’t tell him to do that?” Karamo asked.

“No. I just taught him how to make it.”

Karamo was visibly impressed as were the others.

“You go, Steven! Slay that presentation.”

“Well it certainly looks nice. Here’s hoping it’s edible,” she teased, taking the spoon he offered her.

He waited impatiently for her to taste it, and when her eyes slid shut he lit up.

“Oh my god, this is amazing. It tastes like those little elephant chocolates you get for me every Christmas. Only like it’s a cloud. Is this really only two ingredients?”

“Yep.”

“What are they chocolate and magic?” she giggled.

“Something like that. So you like?”

“Delicious.” She reached for him, pulling him to her side of the island leaving her hand in his. “And it’s really sweet that you learned to make it just for me. You know this may earn you the title of favorite super soldier.”

“You mean that’s not already a given? I’m wounded.”

“Don’t be annoying,” she glared up at him.

He pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key.

“Much better.”

They enjoyed their mousse in a comfortable silence, which she finally broke a few minutes later.

“I’m really proud of you for doing this you know. It was really brave.”

“I would never have done it without you guys nominating me,” he admitted in a quiet voice.

Y/n reached out for both of his hands, pulling him to stand directly in front of her.

“That may be true, but you are the most stubborn person I know.”

His brow furrowed in confusion.

“Thank you?”

“My point,” she giggled, “Is that if you really didn’t want this, it wouldn’t have mattered how we begged or pleaded with you. You would not have done it, or you would have stonewalled them. The fact that you opened up, means you put in the work. You chose to be happy. And I’m so proud of you.”

His cheeks tinged pink ever so slightly.

“Thank you for everything, y/n. You’ve always been there for me. When I came out of the ice. When I was looking for Bucky and throughout the Accords debacle. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

“And Bobby told me about you getting the photos from the Smithsonian. That must have taken you ages.”

She dropped her eyes to their intertwined hands.

“It was nothing.”

He let go of one of her hands so he could lift her chin.

“It is everything,” he murmured, cupping her cheek.

Leaning down, he gently kissed her, fully intending to pull back after a moment. He was not expecting her to wrap an arm around his neck and pull him closer.

The Fab five quickly paused the video and celebrated.

“Yes!”

“Finally!”

“Well done, Steven.”

When they continued, the edit politely cut away from the couple and directly to the next day. Steve was once again in his room getting ready, only this time his outfit was the tux.

“Tan, I am completely in love with that tuxedo.”

“It’s the perfect color for him.”

“His eyes are so blue. Oh I could just lose myself all day in those oceans.”

“He looks so sharp. And you know he’s going to stand out.”

“And he should. This night is all about him.”

The cheer from the crowd was deafening when he stepped off the elevator. Steve’s cheeks tinged pink, but his confident gait didn’t falter.

“Looking good, Rogers. You might even be able to get the girl after all of this,” Tony smirked, eyeing Y/n who was waiting patiently by the bar.

“Maybe I will,” Steve smirked.

“You look happy, Cap. I’m glad,” he added in a more serious tone.

The two men hugged, and Steve continued his circuit of the room.

Thor complimented his hair and beard, and Bruce loved his tuxedo. The rest of the guests clamored for their moment to speak with him. Finally, Natasha was able to cut in and lead him to the one place he’d been trying to get to all night. Y/n.

“Hey, handsome.”

“Hi, beautiful.”

He leaned down for a lingering kiss before leaning on the bar next to her.

“How are you doing?”

He took a deep breath and swayed his head side to side.

“Pretty good. This is pretty tame for Tony.”

“Nat and I had final say on the guest list,” Y/n reported proudly.

“You’re welcome by the way,” Nat smirked at him.

“Thank you, both.”

Bucky and Sam were practically falling over themselves laughing as they joined them.

“What trouble are you getting up too?”

“Nothing, doll,” Bucky promised.

“We just saw Tony sputtering because he saw you two kiss.”

“He did tell me I might get the girl at the end of the night.”

“Little did he know,” Sam grinned.

Steve bounced back and forth between different groups for much of the evening. Often Y/n would accompany him, but sometimes she would sit back and watch.

“They’re such a pretty couple.”

“I love them.”

About halfway through the party, Tony took the stage.

“Good evening, everyone. Thank you so much for coming out tonight to celebrate the retirement of the one and only Captain America. Steve Rogers. Now, before we hear from the man himself, I’d like to say a few words. Steve, I know that we didn’t get off to the best of starts, but throughout our ups and downs you have never wavered in your commitment to helping people. The world is a much safer and better place because of you. You may be moving on from the Avengers, but you’ll always have a home here. Thank you for your service. And happy retirement. Everyone please raise your glass, to Steve Rogers.”

The room raised their glasses and toasted him, and Steve teared up.

“Now, I think we would all like to hear from Steve. So, Captain Rogers, please come on up.”

Y/n squeezed his hand as he approached the stage, hugging Tony tightly.

“Thank you, Tony.”

“You’re welcome, Capsicle.”

Steve snorted and clapped him on the back as they traded places. He took a deep breath before starting.

“Hi, everyone. Thank you all for coming. And thank you, Tony for hosting this retirement party. I don’t think it will come as a surprise to many people here that I didn’t really ever think that something like this was in my future. But while I will always be here to fight when I’m needed, it’s time for me to lay down the shield.”

The room was silent as he spoke. Plenty of people in the room had been on the receiving end of Steve’s motivational speeches, but few had ever heard him talk about himself.

“He is so composed,” Karamo complimented as Steve continued his speech.

“This was not an easy decision. And part of the reason for that is because I felt like I was failing everyone by giving up the shield. And to be honest, I had no idea what to do with myself if I wasn’t fighting. But I’ve spent this past week with five fabulous men who have helped me find a future. They also showed me that I am more the Captain America. But I’ve also realized that Captain America is bigger than I am. The world deserves and needs a symbol of hop. And I’m so very proud to say that that is exactly what will be happening. I am officially passing my shield onto the only man who could take it on. Sam Wilson. Sam, please come up here.”

The room erupted in shock both on the television and in the loft.

“Oh my God.”

“Did anyone know he was planning this?” Antoni asked.

“No.” They all chorused.

Sam approached the stage with his head held high as the others overcame their shock and started cheering. Steve held out a hand to help him up, and Sam couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the first day they met.

“The floor is yours, Captain.”

They hugged fiercely before Steve stepped back, literally and figuratively.

“Hi, everyone. I’m going to keep this short. Steve, I just want to say thank you for trusting me. The shield has absolutely been a symbol of hope for me. But the shield would be nothing without your heart and your goodness. I will do my very best to carry on your legacy. Thank you.”

“Let’s hear it for Captain America,” Bucky yelled from the back of the room, grinning like a fool.

Everyone cheered as Sam and Steve came down off the stage, and Sam was engulfed by well-wishers.

Steve was beaming as he made his way to Y/n, Bucky, and Natasha.

“When did you make that decision?” Natasha asked as he grabbed a beer.

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but talking to Karamo made me realize that it wasn’t I was Captain America or there was no Captain America. There was another option.”

Eventually the party goers wandered out and only the team was left. Steve smiled as he held his hand out for Y/n, leading her to the dance floor where they lost themselves in each other, swaying to the soft music.

“Aww yay.”

“He looks so happy.”

“Uggh. Can we toast our Steve?”

“Yes.”

“To Steve Rogers.”

“And his future.”

The Fab Five raised their glasses.

~~~~~~

A/n: So that’s it. I hope you enjoyed this story. I really loved being able to delve into Steve’s character. As I said there’s two more short things coming eventually. So keep an eye out. And stay tuned for updates to other WIPs and some new content!

Tag Lists are Open (Strikethroughs didn’t work)

Queer Eye for the Cap Guy Tag List

@a-random-queer-kid @mimisparkle12 @phoenix-whiskey-tears @taliarosej00 @cs-please

Steve/Chris Tag List

@isaxhorror @peachykeen3502 @patzammit @wordlesscaptain @coffeebooksandfandom @hereisanapplepie @mywinterwolf @straightforwardly

Marvel Tag List

@hdthdthdt @sophiatomlinson23 @misty-panther @supermusicallee @scarlettsoldier @acupofhotlatte @slender--spirit @petitesmate @libbymouse

Permanent Tag List

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#Queer Eye for the Cap Guy #Steve Gets Queer Eyed #Cap Gets Queer Eyed #Part 8

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intothestarkerverse · 6 years ago

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Paper Hearts

The Starker-Office AU the world needs.

Tony Stark is a paper salesman who hates his job but is secretly in love with the beautiful receptionist. A glimpse into their unorthodox courtship and happily ever after.

Tony Stark hated his job.

Selling paper was one of the most boring professions he could think of, and it had a very obvious expiration date that drew ever closer the more digitized the world became. At best, he thought, he had another few years before he had to hit the unemployment line and look for another job he despised. Nothing left to do but collect his paychecks until then, really.

His boss was an idiot.

Scott Lang was no where near as funny as he thought he was. His jokes caused Tony actual, physical pain. The way the guy was a lapdog for Hope from corporate, that was even worse. Didn’t help that for some reason Scott thought he and Tony were best friends. The indignities he put up with for this job were not worth the pay check he took home. Not. At. All.

The guy across from his desk was a killjoy. You’d think Steve Rogers had some amazingly important job with how dedicated he was to it. First one to arrive. Last one to leave. He was a puny little, sanctimonious nerd that Tony loved to play practical jokes on…which was really only one of two things that made the job bearable. The second? The second was Peter.

Peter fucking Parker.

The receptionist.

Light of his life.

His reason for waking up in the morning.

The only damn reason he hadn’t left this fucking job in pursuit of something that didn’t make him contemplate using his letter opener to carve a giant hole into the middle of his chest.

Peter was young and beautiful and sweet and he sat directly in Tony’s line of view. He caught himself staring at the kid way more often than he should. He would day dream about running his fingers through those fluffy chestnut curls, tugging on the strands in the throes of passion. He pictured what Peter’s lips would look like wrapped around more than just the straw of his water bottle. He committed every centimeter of Peter’s face to his memory, knew every piece of clothing in the kid’s wardrobe…enough that he recognized when Peter had treated himself to a new sweater or pair of skinny jeans. Tony stared because it was all he was allowed to do, and it was the only thing that got him through the day. Peter caught him, too, but either the kid didn’t realize that Tony was head over heels in love with him…or he didn’t care.

Tony really hoped it was the former, but it didn’t matter really because Peter had a fiance, Quentin Beck, some handsome asshole from the warehouse who had been promising Peter a ‘happily ever after’ that the kid had yet to realize was really a ‘never gonna happen’. Quentin wasn’t ready to grow up, settle down, be a fucking man, and Tony had caught him flirting with people who weren’t Peter enough times to know he was a piece of shit. Quentin Beck didn’t know what he had, but Tony did. He hated that fucking guy, and the feeling was clearly mutual.

Someday. Someday, Tony was going to sweep Peter off his feet, steal him away from the asshat and show the kid what a happily ever after should look like.

Someday.

If he ever worked up the nerve.

Until then…

***

Tony leaned against the reception desk, drumming his fingers on the Formica counter and waiting for Peter to finish his call. Peter glanced up at him through a curtain of eyelashes, biting back a grin and holding a finger to his lips as he quickly scrawled a message on a notepad for Scott.

“Mhm, yeah, no, I’ll totally have him call you back…Yeah…Soon, for sure…Uh huh…Yep, I have here that it’s important so he’ll definitely get back to you…Yep…Cool, okay. Bye.” He placed the phone back in it’s cradle carefully and turned his attention to Tony, resting his head in one hand and blushing intensely under the other man’s gaze. “That was corporate. You could have gotten me into trouble.”

“I’d never get you into trouble, Pete. I’d sooner die.”

“This job’s not worth dying over, Mr. Stark.”

“You might be…”

Peter choked out an embarrassed giggle. “Stop it! You’re the worst. Did you just come over here to tease me or did you need help with the copier again? For someone with half a degree in computers, you really suck with copiers, you know that?”

Tony shrugged, so what if that was one of his many excuses to spend a little time with Peter during the day. He could hardly be faulted for that. “Got you a present. Wanted to make sure you got to enjoy it properly.”

“Oh yeah, what did you get me?” Peter looked more than a little skeptical, and in all honesty, he probably had a right to be.

“Wait until Rogers gets back from his coffee break and then enjoy the show, Kid.”

“Oh my god, what did you do?”

Tony chuckled, stealing a piece of candy from the bowl Peter filled every week. “I may have hacked his computer last night…sent him a very official looking email from the US Army inquiring about a very special kind of paper needed for a top secret mission and included a referral from one of his best clients.”

“You didn’t!”

“He’s always acting like his job is a matter of life and death, let’s give the geek a thrill, huh?”

“Mr. Stark, that’s so mean…”

“I could abort the mission if you really think…”

“I mean it would be a shame to waste all that hard work…”

***

“No.”

“Seriously, Steve, I haven’t even gotten to ask…”

“I know, but whatever it is you want, Tony, it can’t be good. So, no. My answer is no.”

Tony frowned, hanging his head in frustration for several seconds. “I know you got Peter in the office Secret Santa thing…”

“How do you know that? Did you just conveniently skip over the ‘secret’ part?”

Tony was trying really hard to be nice here. Steve wasn’t making it easy. “I asked everyone else. Paid them. Did them favors. Tracked down the lucky bastard who was gifting Peter…and Fate hates me, so here we are. Look, Rogers, I know we’re not friends…”

“Whose fault is that?”

“Mine. Mine. It’s clearly mine. I accept the blame. I do. It’s just…I have something planned for Pete and I need to be his Secret Santa. I will do literally anything. Name your price.”

“I can’t be bought, Tony. Peter has a fiance, or did you forget that? Whatever you want from him, it can’t be good.”

Tony groaned, hitting his forehead against the top of his desk. “I know Peter has a fiance, Rogers. Believe me, no one is more aware of Quentin’s existence than I am. The guy’s a jerk…a bigger jerk than me, and that’s really saying something. You know it’s true. He’s a piece of shit and Peter deserves better. The guy is going to give him some generic piece of crap for Christmas, no thought at all. You know it. Peter’s a good kid. He deserves…he deserves a lot more than that shithole. Let me give him something nice. I’m not going to break up his relationship. I’m not going to lead him down the path of temptation. I just want to give him something nice and make him smile without him feeling like he needs to do something for me, okay? Rogers…I’m begging you.”

Steve stared at him for several long minutes before he sighed and nodded. “Fine. Yeah. Okay.”

“Bless you, Steve Rogers. Consider this our armistice. War over.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

***

Tony had never wanted to hug anyone as badly as he wanted to hug Peter in that moment.

The kid looked defeated.

He was seated at a little card table towards the back of the comic book shop with several stacks of his own self-published comic in little piles all around him.

No one was stopping to look at them. To talk to him. To acknowledge his existence at all.

His eyes were glassy. The kid was literally minutes away from crying and he just couldn’t let that happen.

“Just your luck that you’d have your debut on a rainy day, Parker.”

Peter jumped, scrubbing a hand over his cheeks and putting on a brave face as he looked up at Tony with a paradoxical mixture of relief and fear. “Tony! You…you came.”

“Course I came. Wouldn’t miss this for the world. But seriously, you know rainy days are terrible for business, right? It’s a proven fact. Why…I’ve never seen so few people in here before. Gotta be the weather.”

“Yeah…no, yeah, I’m sure you’re right.” Peter looked like he didn’t quite believe Tony, but he was also apparently eager for an excuse to explain his lackluster turn out. Had anyone else from the office even come? Ass holes. All of them. And where the fuck was Quentin?

“So, let’s see…” Tony reached out for one of the books, carefully flipping through the pages and perusing the content with a little humming noise. “Hey, now, do you take inspiration from people you know?”

Peter was blushing. “Maybe…”

“No maybe about it, Peter, you cannot tell me this handsome bastard isn’t based off me.” He flipped the book around, tapping at an image of a roguishly handsome superhero in crimson and gold armor. “You know I’m a raging narcissist, right? I was going to buy a book anyway, but now I have to buy the whole series cause I’m one of the stars. You in here, too?”

Peter nodded slowly, his blush darkening. “Yeah…but I won’t tell you who. You’ll have to figure that out…”

“I do love a challenge.” Tony closed the book and reached out to add one from every pile to the one in his hands. “So, how much?”

“Um…they’re ten a piece but…”

“But obviously that’s much too low so I’ll give you a hundred for the set of five.”

“Tony, no…”

“Fine. A hundred and fifty it is. You’re a tough negotiator, Pete.”

“Tony!” The smile on Peter’s face was worth every fucking penny. And who needed to eat, anyway?

***

“Mr. Stark! You promised that the goatee was not because of my comics.”

Peter was standing at his desk with both hands over his mouth. His face was as brilliantly red as the home made Halloween costume Tony had donned for work that day…the costume he had based entirely off of Peter’s comic and the character he just knew was based on him. Had to be. And dammit, if he was right…if he was right, than Peter had even made himself Tony’s fucking love interest…and wasn’t that just the most interesting thing he’d ever read in his whole damn life?

“So, I lied. It’s not my fault. You’re such a damn good artist that I took one look at my comic book self with that awesome facial hair and said, ‘Fuck, Tony, why did you never realize that you’d be even more devastatingly attractive if you just had an impeccably groomed goatee?’ The world has you to thank for it, Pete, and I’m definitely keeping it because it’s been a hit.”

Peter’s hands dropped from his face to his sides. He was chewing on his bottom lip, looking pensive. “Who…I didn’t know you were dating anybody Mr. Stark. I’m glad…they like it. I guess…”

Tony didn’t bother to correct him. Not yet. A little jealousy might do the kid some good, let him know how much Tony wanted to choke the fucking life out of Quentin every time that piece of shit showed his face.

***

Peter was wearing a new soft blue sweater over a button down shirt and Tony was trying very hard not to swoon over how fucking adorable he looked. He was playing with his gum, winding it around his finger before popping it into his mouth to begin again. He had his phone concealed in his lap so no one could see him playing on social media while he was supposed to be working. That was probably why he didn’t hear Tony approach until the man was standing directly in front of him, leaning against the reception desk and looking at Peter with what Tony recognized was something very close to the heart-eye emoji. God, this kid.

He really couldn’t take it anymore.

He had to make a move.

Be brave.

Be bold.

Be the fucking hero in that kid’s comic.

“What are you doing tonight, Pete?”

Peter jumped a little, looking up at Tony with a little flush of surprise. “Tonight? I don’t know. Quentin’s got poker at Drax’s, so probably just going to lay in bed and catch up on Netflix. Why?”

Tony smirked, dropping something on the desk in front of him.

“Oh my god, how did you get this? It’s not even supposed to be released for another two weeks…” Peter’s excitement was quelled by the sudden realization, “Is this a bootleg?”

Tony nodded. He was never going to admit to how much he’d spent for a bootleg copy of something he cared absolutely nothing about because in the end…it was going to be completely worth it. “Come over to my place tonight. We can break the law together.”

“You think if the FBI raids your place while we’re in the middle of it that we could at least be cellmates, Mr. Stark?”

“Don’t worry, Pete, I’ll protect you in the prison yard. No one would dare put a hand on you.”

“I’ve always thought you’d make a great prison husband.” The witty banter ground to a halt with Peter’s last quip, his light brown eyes flaring wide. His mouth had runaway without his better judgment, but Tony wasn’t quite ready to let it go yet.

“Oh, I’d make a great husband, prison or not.” Tony held Peter’s gaze for a second longer than was probably comfortable for both of them, the kid’s face was red as a cherry tomato when they were interrupted by the sound of an exasperated sigh from behind them.

“Tony…could you just grow up already? Some of us are actually trying to work…”

Peter giggled into his hand, leaning to the side to look around Tony at Steve Rogers’ desk. “I thought you and Mr. Rogers had finally ended the Civil War, what did you do this time?” He was careful to keep his tone soft enough that it didn’t carry.

“Hm?” Tony was still distracted by thoughts of Peter as his prison wife, but managed to pull himself out of it to look back over his shoulder and shrug. “I super glued everything to his desk last night.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

Peter was under his desk now, hugging his sides and laughing himself breathless.

***

It was far from the first time he and Peter had spent time together outside of work. They were friendly, in fact. Quentin didn’t share any of Peter’s interests, and that left plenty of things for Tony to exploit. Movies Quentin wouldn’t be caught dead seeing. Video game releases. Comic conventions. Hell, Tony had even gone to a few games of D&D with Peter because he would take literally any excuse to spend time with that kid.

Now, they were cuddled up on Tony’s couch in his apartment with enough snack food to weather the apocalypse and a bootleg that Peter was dying to see. Though, for something Peter was dying to see, he didn’t seem as enthusiastic about watching it as he had earlier that day.

“Pete? You okay? Something happen after work?” He’d been fine when they’d said their goodbyes that day.

Peter ran a hand through his curls and let out a long, shaky breath. “I think Quentin might be cheating on me. I don’t have proof but…Drax didn’t know anything about a poker game tonight and it’s just, it’s little things, you know? I found this little church I really liked for the wedding and I mentioned it to him, that we could maybe set a date…but he brushed me off. MJ…you know from customer service? She says I’m an idiot, that he’s never going to marry me and now I’m afraid she’s right…do think she’s right, Tony?”

Tony reached out, drawing the younger man close and inhaling the scent of his shampoo as he tucked Peter against his chest. “You’re not an idiot, Peter. You’re way better than that piece of shit in the warehouse deserves. You’re beautiful and smart and funny and talented, and if you were mine…we’d have fucking eloped the second you said you’d marry me.”

Peter pulled back with a watery smile, “Yeah?”

“Mhm. They increased the limit on my credit card last month. Enough for two tickets to Vegas, a week long stay in a crappy casino and a quickie wedding chapel. I’d lock that shit down before you had a second to realize that you could do better than me, too.”

“Better than you?” Peter sounded as if that idea was more insane than eloping to Vegas minutes after a marriage proposal. “Tony, there isn’t anyone better than you.”

“If you believed that, you wouldn’t be with that piece of shit, Quentin Beck.”

Now, Peter just looked confused. “In what universe did I ever have a choice between you and Quentin?”

“This one.”

Peter’s head slowly canted to one side, brow furrowing and eyes narrowing. “No…”

“Oh yes, Pete.” Never in his wildest dreams had ever thought that Peter thought Tony was out of his league. Was the kid blind? Did he not own a mirror? Did he not know how brilliant and funny and talented… “Oh yes..” Those last two words were repeated a hair’s breadth from Peter’s lips as Tony leaned forward to bridge the distance between them.

It was everything Tony had ever thought it would be and so much more. Peter’s lips were soft, his whimpers were music to Tony’s ears. Tony let himself bury his fingers in those chestnut curls and inhale the scent of him, revel in the taste of him, live in that moment as if it was the only one he was ever going to get.

The kiss went on until neither one of them could breath, until they were forced to pull back with heaving chests and swollen lips. Peter stared at Tony for several seconds before he threw off the blanket and walked out of the room.

What.

What the fuck.

Tony was dumbfounded. Was Peter not into it? Had he just been shot down? Was Peter not even going to talk to him…

No.

Peter was back.

With his laptop?

Tony frowned, watching as Peter dropped the computer in his lap followed by something small and golden. Glancing up, Tony caught sight of Peter’s now empty ring finger.

“Put your money where your mouth is, Stark.”

Tony stared. “What…”

“Two tickets. Vegas. ASAP.”

“Wait…” He couldn’t be serious.

“No, you said you wouldn’t make me wait. I already Snapped Quentin. We’re broken up. I’m single…but I don’t want to be. So buy me those tickets to Vegas and a ring…when we get there.”

Tony slowly opened the laptop, stealing glances at Peter ever few seconds as he booted it and pulled up a travel site. “You’re not…this isn’t a joke, right?”

“Not a joke. You’re not the only one who’s been pining, Tony Stark. Why do you think Quentin hated you so much? He knew I was super into you…hell, Tony, I made you my lover in my comics…You’ve been my unattainable crush since I started my job. You’re the nicest guy I’ve ever met. Most supportive. We have fun together. We have a lot in common. We just…”

“Yeah.” Tony was smiling now, not even second guessing himself as he typed in his credit card numbers. “I don’t know if we can get a week off work…”

“Four day weekend is good enough for now. I’ll call Mr. Lang and let him know we won’t be in. I’ll have to tell him why…”

“God help us.”

***

Four days later when Tony and Peter returned to work in the same car, they arrived to find an impromptu wedding shower waiting for them. Quentin had quit. Left all of Peter’s stuff in the warehouse in a pile in the middle of one of the docking bays. But whatever, the less they had to see of that prick the better. Scott seemed happier about their elopement than they were, and he’d gone to great lengths to print up t-shirts proclaiming that everyone in the office ‘shipped Starker’. Even Rogers was wearing one.

Tony pretended to hate it.

Really he fucking loved it.

Maybe his job wasn’t the absolute worst after all…

#starker

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cherryrogers · 5 years ago

Text

Falling For You.

— Chapter 4

Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader

(Modern High School AU)

Warnings: Swearing, mild angst.

Synopsis: Unlike most teenagers, you had your life completely mapped out. You’d graduate high school, go off to the university of your dreams, and live the life that your parents always wanted you to. That was the plan.

Falling for Bucky Barnes, however, was never part of that plan.

Being ‘just friends’ isn’t enough. Becoming anything more is too much. But suppressed feelings can’t stay ignored forever, and you were about to learn that a lot sooner than you thought.

Inspired by the song ‘Fallingforyou’ - The 1975

A/N: thought that i should mention,,, this is a slow burn. if you don’t like slow burns, i totally understand, and this probably isn’t the fic for you. but if you’re painfully obsessed w them like i am, then please enjoy :))

Series Masterlist

__________________________________________

“You’re delusional, you know that, right?” Wanda grinned smugly, popping a strawberry into her mouth.

You sighed and leaned back in your seat. “I’m not delusional; I’m being realistic.”

It was Wednesday lunchtime, and after a long, confusing couple of days, you decided to tell Wanda about what happened between you and Bucky. You kept the details about Natasha to yourself, knowing that was personal to Bucky, but you told her about how he walked you home with your hand clasped in his and how you had a pretty meaningful conversation, hoping that she’d be able to help you with your feelings - aka, she’d tell you that it totally didn’t mean anything, you and Bucky were still just friends, and you could go back to your normal life. However, the girl definitely didn’t share that opinion on the situation.

“(Y/N), sweetie...” Wanda looked you in the eye. Oh no. Whenever the name ‘sweetie’ slipped from her lips, you knew she was about to say something that you didn’t want to hear. “You don’t spill out your heart to someone and proceed to hold their hand if you don’t... feel something for them.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

Chewing on your lip anxiously, you took a minute to process what your friend was saying to you. Was it possible that Bucky actually still had feelings for you? That he wanted to be with you? Telling you about Natasha was a big thing for him, and considering he’d never found the courage to tell you until recently, that must have meant something had changed in the way he felt about you, right? Bucky was a fairly confident guy, he certainly had no trouble flirting with you like it was second nature to him - which it probably was, at this point. But what he shared with you after leaving the diner, it showed another side to him. The side that had insecurities, that didn’t feel good enough, and for someone to show that part of themselves? That’s difficult, and it’s not something you just show anyone.

Fingers snapping in front of your face caused you to jump slightly, before shaking your head and bringing yourself back to the present. Wanda was giving you a look. A look that indicated she was expecting you to say something first.

“What?” You eyed her cautiously.

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

The girl rolled her eyes for the second time at you. “Well, do you feel something for him?”

“Wanda, you know I can’t-”

“I know, you can’t date anyone at the moment.” She interrupted you. “But wasn’t my question. Forget the whole dating thing - do you have feelings for Bucky?”

The question caused your heart to stop momentarily. Every time you happened to ask yourself that question, your brain immediately stopped working and forced you to think about something else. But here you were, sat in front of your best friend, whose eyes were pleading for you to be honest with yourself and tell the truth.

Bucky Barnes... he wasn’t just your friend. There, that was a start. Wanda was your friend - the one you asked for advice on anything and everything, the one who did your makeup for junior prom because you were clueless when it came to eyeshadow. Wanda was the one who you knew would be with you for the long haul.

As for Bucky? He... was different. He was the one who only had to crack a smile for your heart to flutter, the one who could make you laugh until your stomach ached, the one who had made you feel more comfortable in your year and a half of knowing each other than your parents had ever made you feel in your life. Bucky, however, was the one you were scared would slip through your fingertips if you weren’t careful.

You didn’t want to lose him, you couldn’t. Hypothetically, let’s say he liked you. If you showed no interest in him, he’d be hurt, and because you were the one who hurt his feelings, you’d be pretty upset too. But if you ended up crossing the line between friends and more than friends, it’d be too much for you, and it just wouldn’t be able to work. Again, that’d hurt him, and you maybe even more. To you, there wasn’t a winning situation for either of you, never mind the both of you at the same time.

Your feelings surround Bucky were clouded. They were there, that’s for sure. But what were you supposed to do with them?

Deciding to be honest, you nodded hesitantly to simply answer her question. You heard the girl exhale in relief, as if she was holding her breath the whole time you were wondering how to answer her. Wanda leaned her elbows on the table after feeding herself another strawberry, knitting her brows together with an empathetic look in her eyes.

“Look, if you don’t want to date anyone at the moment, that’s perfectly fine - nobody is forcing you to. But, you’re suppressing these feelings for Bucky because you think it’s good for you, when it’s actually anything but.”

“I-I know. But I can’t admit anything to him, Wanda. If the feeling isn’t mutual, it’s not gonna be the same between us. If he actually does... have feelings for me, then that’s gonna be even more of an issue.” You let out a frustrated breath, resting your chin in the palm of your hand. “I can’t tell him that I like him and then tell him that we can’t date. That just makes me an asshole.”

You couldn’t believe you were discussing the idea of telling Bucky you had feelings for him, after so damn long of scolding yourself internally every time he popped into your mind.

Wanda lowered her gaze for second, before biting her lip and flicking her eyes back up to you. “Okay, I’m gonna propose a solution. And before you get annoyed with me, let me explain myself.”

After nodding unsurely, your friend began speaking again. “I think you need to tell Bucky how you feel-”

“No way. Did you listen to a word I just-”

“I told you to let me explain!” Wanda groaned, causing you to reluctantly stop talking as you gestured a hand for her to carry on. “Bucky cares about you a lot - anyone with eyes can see that. Do you really think he’d want you to hide his feelings for him if it was hurting you? Even if he didn’t feel the same?”

She was right. Bucky wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself just for his benefit. But that’s only if he didn’t like you back. Wanda seemed pretty convinced that he reciprocated the feelings, but how could you be sure?

You were about to only sigh as a response, but the buzzing of your phone on your pocket distracted you. After pulling it out, you were surprised to see a text from the Maximoff twin that wasn’t sitting across from you.

Pietro: Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to do something after school today? Maybe grab dinner?

“Who’s that?” Wanda asked curiously.

The corner of your lips upturned as you read the message. “Your brother - he wants to know if I’ll grab dinner with him after school.”

Wanda remained quiet as you quickly typed out a reply.

You: Sure, I’d like that.

Pietro: Great, I’ll meet you outside the school gates.

Placing your phone back into your pocket, you narrowed your eyes at your friend, who was drinking her cherry soda with an innocent expression.

“What is it?” You questioned her, causing her to smirk slightly.

She put down her drink. “What about Pietro?”

“What about Pietro?”

“Could you ever see yourself with him?”

If you were drinking something at that moment, you would’ve done a spit take.

“See myself with Pietro? Wanda, what the-”

The girl raised her hands in defence. “I’m just asking! I honestly think he’s interested in you.”

“We’re friends.”

“You and Bucky are friends too.”

“That’s different.” You argued, wondering where the hell she got the idea of you and Pietro from. He wasn’t interested in you, why would he be? He was like Bucky, in a way. The boy could probably have any girl he wanted, because he was one of the sweetest guys you knew. You were pretty sure he wasn’t pining after you. “You know what? I can deal with how things are with me and Bucky, and I don’t want to date Pietro. I’m sure he’s not interested, and the same can be said for Bucky.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Can we just... talk about something else? Please?” You pleaded, fearing that your brain might shut down if you talked about your feelings for much longer.

Wanda acknowledged that you were genuinely done with the conversation, and managed to switch the subject to something that didn’t involve your dating life. However, her words were still stuck in your mind. Would it be better for you and Bucky if you just told him how you felt?

That was something to think about later. You had two classes left after lunch, the last one being chemistry with Bucky. You’d go out with Pietro, have a good time, and then you could go home and study the night away, just like you always did. You were so used to your daily routine, and dating wasn’t a part of that.

Bucky thought breaking up with Natasha made him a coward, but it actually made him pretty brave. He confronted his feelings directly - something that you couldn’t seem to do. You couldn’t ruin your routine, because you feared that doing so would ruin every other aspect of your life, including what you had with Bucky.

It was hypocritical, really. Telling Bucky that he could tell you anything, yet hiding the one thing you’d never told him at that exact moment. It wasn’t just him you were attempting to hide it from, but you were also desperately trying to prove to yourself that your feelings for him were non-existent. It was pointless, frankly. Because your feelings for him were so existent, that you could already imagine the damage it would do to tell him before even doing so.

Maybe you just wouldn’t tell him.

* * *

“Well, would you look at that.” Val grinned proudly down at the C on her chemistry paper, before turning to you and practically shoving the paper in your face. “I’m coming for your spot at the top of the class, (Y/N).”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you pushed the paper away from you. “See? Look what you can achieve when you don’t spend your whole weekend drinking.”

Val was one of those friends that you’d never hang out with in you free time, but you treasured the time that you spent with them in class. Even with Bucky sitting on the table behind you, you didn’t think chemistry would be the same without Val adding her commentary throughout the hour you were in the classroom.

“Crazy, right? I think I’ll treat myself to a drink this weekend to celebrate.” She leaned over to the other side of the bench to eye Bruce’s paper. “How about you, Banner? What did you get?”

“I got an A.” The boy replied quietly. Bruce Banner was the third person on your row of three, and he was smart smart. You wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up getting, like, seven PhD’s in the future. He kept to himself mostly, but was partial to conversing with Val if she ever had a science question she needed answering. While Bruce was probably smarter than you in general, you studied the exam questions like it was your job, meaning you usually ended up scoring a couple more marks than him.

Val sighed. “Of course, I don’t know why I asked.” She spun around on her stool to face the table behind you, consisting of her friend Thor, Steve and Bucky. Her eyes narrowed at Thor as he looked up at her. “I dare you to tell me you got an A, Thor...”

The blond beamed back at her. “What can I say? It’s my god-like abilities, I’m telling you.”

Thor was that one kid that despite never touching a textbook in their life, continued to receive A’s and B’s throughout the whole year, much to every other student’s annoyance.

The girl scoffed, swinging back around. “God-like? You wish. You’re just a nerd in disguise.”

Eventually, the teacher approached your table again and handed you your paper, face-down.

Oh no.

Flipping the paper over hesitantly, you took your bottom lip between your teeth, scanning your eyes across the red pen at the top of the page.

B - good work, (Y/N).

“Let me guess,” Val said sarcastically, not noticing your worried expression. “Little miss ‘always gets an A’ also got-”

“I got a B.” You muttered quickly, causing Val to leave her sentence unfinished.

The last time you got a B was in freshman year. Ever since the you first achieved an A on a test in high school, your parents expected nothing less, and you never let them down. Oh, lord. On top of the detention you weren’t sure if they knew about, they were about to find out that for the first time in three years, their daughter didn’t receive an A on a test - that wasn’t going to go down too well.

Since you hadn’t done any studying over the weekend, you hadn’t had time to go over everything you needed to for the test. You didn’t think it would result in you dropping to a B. Not that a B was bad, but it certainly wouldn’t be good enough for your parents.

Val had an apologetic look in her eyes. “Oh, well that’s still good! There’s nothing wrong with a B. In fact, I think a B is better than an A. This just proves that you’re too smart for these stupid tests-”

“Thanks, Val.” You let out a laugh, despite your evident anxiety. “I-I appreciate that. There’s nothing... nothing wrong with a B.”

After everyone received their tests back, the bell soon sounded and the class began to pack their stuff away. You felt a presence beside your table, but didn’t look up as you shoved your textbook back into your bag.

“(Y/N)?”

Sparing a glance to the side, you noticed Bucky eyeing you with a glint of concern. He knew that the lower grade was eating you alive. “Yes, Buck?”

The boy rocked back and forward on his heels. “It’s okay, you know. That you didn’t get an A.”

God, hearing it in his voice just made you feel worse. “My parents would beg to differ.”

“Your parents are in another city, far away from here. They can’t get mad at you when they aren’t even here, that’s not fair.”

You smiled sadly at Bucky, zipping up your bag. “It’s not fair, you’re right. But they don’t care about being fair, they only care about the fact that I haven’t been studying as much, and I’m sure they can’t wait to complain at me about it.”

The boy leaned his elbows on the table, leaning in closer to talk to you. The action made your body stiffen a little, but Bucky didn’t notice as his eyes searched yours for a hint of anything that wasn’t worry.

“How about I drive you home? You can ride on the back of my bike.” He offered, making you chuckle.

“If you think I’m getting on the back of that death-trap, you’ve got another thing coming, James.” Your sad smile turned into a small smirk as you spoke, allowing Bucky to feel slightly better that you weren’t as stressed about the grade. “Plus, I’m not heading home.”

Bucky’s brows raised curiously at your last statement. “Don’t tell me you’re heading to that damn library-”

“I’m not going to the library.” You smacked his bicep lightly, earning a laugh from him. “I’m going out with-”

“Buck?” Both of your heads snapped to the side at Steve saying his name. “Sorry, I didn’t wanna interrupt, but Sam and Nat are waiting for us in the parking lot; we should get going.”

Nat.

To take a wild guess, you assumed that he was referring to Natasha, aka, Bucky’s ex-girlfriend. Now, why the hell was she waiting outside of school for him and Steve? Why on Earth would Bucky want to- wait.

Your gaze landed back on Bucky, who seemed to be sending a glare towards his friend. Hm, maybe you weren’t supposed to know that Bucky was still buddy-buddy with his ex.

Awesome.

“Right, well I don’t wanna keep you from Nat.” You threw your bag over your shoulder, awkwardly taking a step back from Bucky, almost backing into Val who was chatting loudly to Thor next to you.

The boy stood up straight, tilting his head to the side guiltily. “Sweets, it’s not-”

“Bucky,” You clasped your fingers around the straps of your bag tightly, trying to contain whatever the emotion was that was running through you. “It’s fine. Honestly, it’s none of my business who you choose to hang out with.”

“Let me explain-”

“You don’t need to explain anything.”

“I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea-”

“Well, here’s an idea.” You raised your voice, internally thankful that half the class had already hurried out of the room before they could see you snap. “How about you start telling me the whole truth about things, rather than only the parts that are convenient for you?”

Bucky had nothing else to say to that, his mouth barely opening and closing as if he was attempting to come up with a response. Maybe you shouldn’t have raised your voice, but something had been off with Bucky recently. First, he didn’t even tell you about the year-long relationship he had with Natasha, and it was now being revealed to you that he was still somewhat friends with her. Like you said, it was none of your business. However, Bucky seemed to really want to explain things as soon as you found out something that he didn’t want you to know about.

“Uh oh, it looks like there’s trouble in paradise.” Val chimed in, before patting Thor on the shoulder and ushering him to leave the classroom with her. “Let’s leave the happy couple to it.”

Paradise. If only.

“I’ve gotta go.” You mumbled, following shortly behind Val and Thor, desperate to just find Pietro and forget about what just happened in the past five minutes.

Your steps soon came to a halt when you exited out of the building, feeling a hand wrap around your wrist gently. Whipping your head around, you were met with paranoid, blue eyes, and you almost felt guilty for not wanting to hear him out.

“Buck-”

“Sweets, please let me explain.”

Looking over at the school gates briefly, your eyes skimmed past a boy with platinum hair. He leaned casually against the brick wall, and after looking away from him, you let out a tired sigh.

“Call me later, okay? I can’t talk right now, I’ve gotta go and meet Pietro. And... and don’t call me that.”

Well shit - that was a clear indicator that Bucky was in trouble.

And Pietro. Bucky couldn’t help but clench his jaw slightly. He needed to make things right with you as soon as possible, but he couldn’t, because you were going out with Pietro. Not that he didn’t like the guy, but couldn’t he have chosen literally any other day to take you out?

Couldn’t you have chosen another day not to ruin things? The boy thought to himself. God, he’d really messed things up.

He wasn’t deliberately lying to you. It was like he said, Bucky didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about him and Natasha. Telling you that when they broke up wasn’t actually that last time that they talked would have you thinking that there were still feelings there... which there wasn’t.

And if you thought that he was still caught up with Natasha? It would only push you away, and that was the complete opposite of what he wanted.

“Bucky, I thought she knew...” The boy turned to look at Steve, who had followed him out of the school. “I wouldn’t have said anything if-”

“She would’ve found out eventually.” Bucky sighed, rubbing his jaw nervously. “I just... why am I hiding things from her, Steve? There’s nothing going on with me and Nat anymore, so why didn’t I just tell her that we’re still friends?”

He knew exactly why he didn’t tell you; the questions were more aimed at himself than Steve. The only person who he needed to hear the answers, however, was you. Bucky couldn’t keep doing this. Making you get mad at him because of his inability to be honest with you. While his intentions were never to hurt you, that seemed to be the reoccurring end result.

All he wanted was to keep you close, but apparently, his actions were doing anything but.

“Steve, Bucky?” The two boys hadn’t even noticed the red-head leaving Sam’s car, who was now standing in front of them with a confused expression. “As much as I understand how fun standing around aimlessly is, it would be awesome if you two could get your asses in the car.”

The blond snapped his head towards Bucky, who barely even glanced at Natasha before shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket, beginning to pace away from their spot next to the parking lot.

“I’m just gonna head home - I don’t feel like going out to eat.” He mumbled, allowing his friends to only just hear what he’d said.

Steve reached forward to try and grab his arm, but the boy pulled away quickly. He didn’t bother attempting to convince him not to go home. Bucky was evidently pissed. With you mad at him, Steve knew that Bucky wasn’t going to be able to enjoy himself if he went out. “Buck, at least let Sam drive you back.”

“I’ll walk.”

The simple statement caused Natasha to furrow her brows, pulling her eyes away from Bucky and landing them on Steve. “What’s wrong with him?”

With concerned eyes still trained on his friend, Steve exhaled deeply. After tearing his gaze away, he nodded in the direction of Sam’s car, indicating for them to get moving.

“I’ll tell you in the car.”

* * *

Series Taglist:

@itz-kira @americas-ass-assins

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you

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blurglesmurfklaine · 5 years ago

Text

Cornelia Street (8/9)

(+ an interlude i thought of after reading “Reeni”s comment. Idk who you are bc it was a guest comment, but thank you!)

A/N: oh my god they were quarantined

yes. It’s one of those fics.

AU, obvs

I’m posting as I go and idk how many parts this is going to be, likely won’t be very long but I literally don’t know what I’m doing and should i be starting yet another WIP? definitely not but fuck it lets fucking go

Title is from T-swizzles Lover album, I’m OBSESSED

Summary: Three years ago, Kurt and Blaine went on a disaster of a date and never quite got off on the right foot. Now, just before they graduate from NYADA, there’s a national outbreak and they’re both self-quarantined in a mutual friend’s apartment.

Read On AO3

On Tumblr: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Interlude

QueenJCedes replied to your story!

Kurt bites back a dopey grin when he opens Mercedes’s snapchat message. It’s a photo of her looking dubiously at the camera, a single eyebrow pointed up, with the caption: Quarantine buddies, huh?

He snaps back a quick photo of himself, eyes rolled upwards. What can I say, he won me over.

She sends back just a message this time—

Mercedes: Yeah, clearly. Mercedes: Head over feet, Alanis style!

—and then a bitmoji of Kurt falling through the air.

Kurt: I mean… You’re not wrong Kurt: He’s sort of everything Kurt: AND a fantastic kisser

Mercedes: OMG REALLY? I was just teasing, but if this is legit, I’m so happy for you!!!

He can’t help but giggle excitedly as he types a reply.

Kurt: Yeah. me too.

New Snap from setroutymouth

Blaine rolls his eyes but still can't school the smile on his face into a neutral expression. This is going to be a lot, he already knows, but nevertheless, he swipes his thumb across the screen to unlock his phone.

Sam’s pacing through Mercedes’s childhood home in Ohio, phone in selfie mode, already rambling at a hundred miles a minute that Blaine’s sure he cut off a few words.

“—cedes just showed me Kurt’s snapchat story and I AM LOSING IT! Did something happen between you two? Oh my god, something totally happened, didn’t it!? BLAINE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED MERCEDES WON’T TELL ME AND I ALREADY FINISHED EVERY BINGABLE SHOW ON NETFLI—”

As expected, it was a lot. But still not enough to burst his happy little bubble. He doesn’t think anything could, at this point.

Through his smiles, he snaps back a picture of himself shrugging, trying to look as clueless as possible, and adds the caption: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

It’s not even a full moment before he gets another video back.

“BLAINE ANDERSON I AM BEGGING YOU—”

Blaine locks his phone shut, mostly because he knows it’ll drive Sam crazy. He can respond later. Right now, there are more important matters at hand.

Blaine’s in the kitchen, putting away what was left of the carton of Cookie Two-Step ice cream they’d demolished while watching another Netflix romcom, when Kurt’s phone lights up.

New Message: From: Adam I saw your sc story You know you could just be *my* quarantine buddy When are you coming?

Kurt actually growls as he types out a reply. How did he put up with this for nearly three years?

New Message: To: Adam I’m not.

Kurt. We both know how this ends.

Not this time. I meant it. We’re done.

Okay, whatever you say I’ll check in with you later When you change your mind

Kurt doesn’t even warrant that with a response, he’s too seething mad to even formulate one with enough bite to put Adam in his place.

But then the door opens, Blaine’s beaming at him, and Adam is completely irrelevant.

“I was just thinking,” Blaine muses aloud, slipping under the covers and snuggling up next to him in a way that Kurt knows will be way too easy for him to get used to. “Do you remember our Junior year when we had to partner up during Stagefighting for that Musical Choregraphy project?”

Kurt explodes into laughter. “Uh, yeah, that was pretty ridiculous. I remember hearing from Matthew that you said I dance like a pigeon that’d been chewed up and spit out by a cat.”

“What!?” Blaine exclaims, shocked. “I swear I never said that. Though, I do remember going on a tangent about how I didn’t know how I was supposed to concentrate when you insisted on wearing those pants with that tight fitted shirt and…”

He trails off, and Kurt can feel color rising to his cheeks. “Oh, that explains it, actually.”

“Explains what?”

“Matthew. He had a huge crush on you.”

Blaine’s eyes double in size. “He what!?”

Kurt lets out a chuckle. “You seriously didn’t know?”

“No! Nobody told me!”

“That’s not how crushes work, Blaine,” Kurt says through a stream of giggles.

“Okay, why does it make more sense for me to just take a wild guess about how people feel about me instead of them telling me, or acting on it? Like, if you hadn’t have kissed me earlier, I would have never known how you felt and kissed you back.”

Kurt opens his mouth to argue that logic, but… he seriously cannot get over how oblivious Blaine is. “So you’re saying that if I hadn't accidentally kissed you then you really wouldn’t have known how I feel?”

“Yeah. And I would most definitely not have acted on my crush.”

“Aw,” Kurt teases. “You used to have a crush on me. That’s embarrassing.”

“And you watch too much Parks and Rec.”

“I’m gonna kiss you again, now,” he announces.

Blaine just grins, eyes crinkling at the sides. “I think that’s a great idea.”

There wasn’t much of a choice because of the shelter in place, but based on the bright spark forming in his chest when their skin meets, Kurt could definitely get used to this living situation.

Blaine finally pulls away reluctantly. If he could stay attached to Kurt forever, stay connected to him, he would. He roams his eyes over Kurt’s face, like he could memorize it if he really, really tried, and notices a scar just above his eyebrow. It would be invisible to anyone else, anyone who wasn’t trying to intentionally map out the image of Kurt.

The scar doesn’t bother Blaine, but the idea that someone ever hurt Kurt bad enough to leave physical evidence that refuses to leave tugs achingly at his heart. Instinctively, he takes his hand from where it rests on the side of Kurt’s face, and gently traces over the scar with the pad of his index finger soothingly, as if it hasn’t been healed for years.

“Sophomore year… two years ago,” Kurt’s murmuring refocuses his attention.

That was a hazy time for Blaine, but he does have a vague memory of hearing from a friend of a friend that Kurt spent some time in the hospital, and he definitely remembers his rival-slash-partner being missing from their stage acting class for a while.

“What happened?” He asks.

Kurt is so calm, so steady when he answers. It leaves him in awe. “It was when all those gay bashings were happening…” he pauses, and Blaine immediately feels sick to his stomach because he knows where this is heading. “I was on my way home from school and saw these guys attacking some teenager, and… I had to help. I ran over and started shoving them, I guess. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but the kid got away. I didn’t. The last thing I remember after that was what I think might’ve been a brick hitting my head.”

“Jesus,” Blaine breathes. His initial reaction is to say I’m sorry, but something tells him that Kurt isn’t sorry about it at all. Instead, he says, “I had no idea. That–that was really brave of you.”

Kurt snorts out a laugh. “I’m glad you think so. I spent most of my hospital stay being berated by my dad about how irresponsible it was.”

“No,” Blaine shakes his head. “If anything it was over-responsible.”

“I’m not convinced that’s a word.”

“Me neither,” Blaine says breathlessly, amber gaze fixed on the boy lying across from him.

He really just can’t help but pull them together again.

Blaine thinks Kurt is opening his mouth to deepen the kiss and, well, he’s certainly not going to complain. Until Kurt sucks in a deep breath and turns his head, chuckling through his yawn.

“Sorry, I really thought I could hold that yawn in.”

Blaine lets out a laugh of his own and glances over at the analog clock on the nightstand. “It’s only midnight, you grandpa,” he teases.

“Hey! Doing nothing all day is seriously draining.”

“I wouldn’t call what we did nothing,” Blaine says cheekily, causing Kurt to flush.

“I’m going to shower before I head to bed,” Kurt responds, sitting up and lifting his arms up over his head and exposing an inch or so of his midriff.

Blaine is trying so hard not to stare. Nevertheless, he can’t help it as he watches Kurt saunter off to the restroom.

He tosses his head back onto the pillow with a satisfied grin on his face. Global crisis it may be, but if he got Kurt Hummel out of it… he could complain about worse things.

A bright ding from his right interrupts his thoughts. Blaine turns his head and sees the screen of Kurt’s phone light up, resting there on the nightstand.

He’s not snooping. He’s really not. It’s just sort of instinct to look in the direction of the sounds.

Then, he sees the succession of messages that make his stomach churn.

New Message: From: Adam Hurry and finish up with the rebound already I miss you Text me when you’re on your way

He stares at the screen for a few seconds before it fades back to black, feeling absolutely sick to his stomach. Of course Kurt was going to run back to his ex the first chance he got. It’s exactly what he did three years ago and Blaine was just kidding himself. This was all too good to be true.

Turns out it wasn’t.

Before he knows it, he’s grabbing his duffel bag and dialing Quinn’s number.

He’s always welcomed there and New Haven isn’t all that far, after all.

Part 9

#klaine #glee #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #klaine fanfiction #wow look at me im writing!#cornelia street

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poetzproblem · 5 years ago

Text

Have You Ever Really? Part III

A/N: Part III by request. There may also now be a part IV. Under the cut, or read at FF.Net or AO3.

They don't win Nationals.

They don't even place after Finn Hudson's monumentally stupid attempt to kiss Rachel on stage at the end of their ill-advised duet. Rachel hadn't reacted quite quickly enough to dodge it completely, which had only made her effort to duck away from his unwanted attention even more obvious to the judges.

Santana had nearly ripped Finn apart as soon as they'd gotten off stage, and Quinn suspects her anger and disgust wasn't entirely on her own behalf. She's seemed oddly less antagonistic to Rachel ever since Rachel had come out to them—or maybe it's not odd at all. Maybe Santana actually feels an unexpected kinship with Rachel now over their mutual attraction to the ladies (even if Santana still isn't outright admitting what everyone already knows). Or maybe she just feels sorry for Rachel for nursing a hopelessly unrequited crush on Quinn.

Quinn wonders what Santana would think if she knew that Rachel's crush wasn't as hopeless as everyone believes.

All that Quinn knows for certain is that she hasn't been able to stop thinking about Rachel since she'd serenaded her in glee, and she'd grown more and more impatient and irritated every time that Rachel had scurried away from her in the hallways or sat across the room from her in their shared classes or suddenly decided that she absolutely had to hang all over Jesse St. James everytime that Quinn tried to approach her in glee. So, of course, Quinn had needed to make it clear to Rachel that she expects her to stop acting like a frightened little mouse and start acting like—well, like Rachel fucking Berry. Really? If Rachel has a thing for Quinn, then Quinn should get the same treatment as the boys in the form of thoughtful gifts left in her locker and weird couple's calendars and loud, dramatic (and often musical) declarations of Rachel's undying affection and loyalty.

What Quinn does get immediately following the kiss that missed, surreptitiously tucked into her duffle bag in their shared hotel room, is a foil-wrapped Hershey's kiss (undoubtedly from the craft services table that had been set up for the competing show choirs) taped to a handwritten note that says, 'I'm sorry. Your lips are the only ones I want to kiss.'

Quinn feels a rush of warmth spread from her chest all the way up to the tips of her ears, and her eyes dart around the room in search of Rachel, only to be disappointed that she hasn't made her way back yet. Well, Quinn supposes that she'd actually beaten them all here before slipping away again to sulk in private over their loss. She doesn't see Kurt anywhere either, and he's been crashing in the girl's room with them.

Quinn gazes down at the note again, palming the candy kiss and catching her lip between her teeth to contain her grin—a grin that instantly disappears when Santana drops onto the mattress in front of her with a frown.

"That better not be some pathetic love note from Finnvasive." Quinn tucks it protectively against her chest. Santana's eyes narrow on the motion, but she doesn't make a grab for it. "It'd be just his style to come crawling back to you now that Berry dodged his slobbery advances in front of a thousand witnesses."

"I don't think there were that many people there today," Mercedes muses, rummaging around in her own suitcase for something or other.

"Enough for a well deserved public humiliation," Santana scoffs, crossing her arms. "If I was Berry, I'd've slapped him for trying that shit."

"Rachel is a professional," Tina chimes in with a dreamy, little smile. "I think she handled it the best way she could under the circumstances."

"You would," Quinn mutters under her breath, sending a glare her way.

"What was that, Quinnie?" Santana needles. "Why don't you share with the class?"

Quinn turns her glare on Santana. "Finn is an ass," is all she bothers to say.

Santana snickers. "True 'dat."

"He totally didn't pay attention to his cues," Brittany adds, throwing herself across the bed beside Santana. "Rachel's all about the sweet lady kisses now." She smiles at Santana, who blushes tellingly before glancing away.

"Which is still all kinds of weird, if you ask me," Mercedes says, shaking her head.

"No one did," Santana snaps.

Mercedes holds up her hands defensively. "Hey, I just mean that she's been moonin' over Finn for two years and all of a sudden she's singin' a love song to," she trails off with an embarrassed look towards Quinn. They all know who Rachel was singing to, but it's a truth that no one but Santana has been brave enough to say out loud in Quinn's presence.

"I'm surprised you're handling that so well," Santana muses with a smirk.

Quinn shrugs, mentally putting on her cool indifference like the mask it is. "It's hardly her fault that I'm irresistible."

Santana barks out a laugh. "You wish, Blondie."

"I'm sure Rachel will find someone else to focus her attention on soon enough," Tina offers with what Quinn supposes is meant to be a reassuring smile—it looks fake to Quinn.

"I guess you'd better make sure it isn't Mike," she warns Tina cattily.

Tina's brows furrow in confusion, but whatever she might have said is lost to the awkward silence that descends on the room when Rachel and Kurt step inside.

"What did we miss?" Kurt asks suspiciously after no one says anything for a solid thirty seconds.

Santana rolls her eyes. "Just our pity party for coming in twelfth."

Rachel whimpers, shrinking into herself. "I'm sorry," she whispers, her eyes cast down to the floor as Kurt wraps an arm around her and gives her a comforting squeeze.

Tina reaches out to touch Rachel's arm with a sympathetic smile. "It wasn't your fault."

"It was Finn's," Quinn grits out, scowling at Tina.

"Don't sweat it, midget," Santana dismisses with a bored wave of her hand. Rachel glances at her in surprise before gazing around the room, as if to make sure no one else is actually blaming her for this. When her eyes finally settle on Quinn, Quinn offers her a meaningful smile, subtly motioning to the note still cradled against her torso. Rachel's eyes dart down and then back up, and Quinn knows she's gotten the message by the shy smile on her face.

They don't talk about it. They can't. They don't really have a moment where they can be alone for the rest of the night or the next morning when they're all rushing for the airport and then stuck together on a long bus ride of listening to Santana take shots at Finn while Finn constantly whines about it and Mr. Schuester yells at them all to remember they're a team.

And then Quinn is being whisked home by her mother, and even if she is entertaining the notion of letting Rachel Berry woo her, she's so not letting her mother clue into anything that's going on in her head right now.

But it becomes very clear on Monday morning that Rachel has taken Quinn's encouragement and run with it. There's a gardenia with a green ribbon tied into a bow waiting for Quinn inside her locker, which is just more proof that Rachel had been the one responsible for Quinn's prom corsage.

A fact that's confirmed when Quinn tracks down Rachel in the bathroom to ask her about the flower.

"I wanted you to have a perfect night," she admits, picking nervously at the strap of her bag.

Quinn smiles, charmed by the admission. "Because you...like me?"

Rachel swallows nervously, nods once. "And because Finn didn't seem to be very enthusiastic about something that was obviously important to you."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "I don't want to talk about him. I want to know how long you've liked me." Because this whole thing has seemed a little sudden and out of the blue. Mercedes hadn't been wrong about that.

Rachel catches her lower lip between her teeth and shrugs, looking mildly perplexed. "I'm not entirely sure. I think it's been happening for a while, but I failed to take note of it until…" Her cheeks turn a little pink. "Well, until I just did."

Quinn shakes her head, a bit perplexed herself. "I don't understand how you could. I've generally been awful to you." She'd slapped her at prom, for God's sake. "Unless...I mean, I get it if it's just a physical thing." It wouldn't be the first time Quinn had been the object of someone's dirty fantasies and it won't be the last. She's hot and she knows it. It's only natural for people who like girls to desire her. And yet the thought of that being all this is for Rachel bothers her more than she can put into words.

"That's not it," Rachel quickly denies, frowning adorably—as if she's angry at Quinn for even suggesting it. "I mean, it's obviously a factor. You're impossibly beautiful." And she blushes again, turning positively red. "But…" She runs her tongue across her lips (and why is Quinn only just noticing how often she does that and how sexy it is?) and takes a breath while she composes her thoughts. "When I told you that you're a lot more than that, I meant it, Quinn. You're smart and resilient and so much kinder than you give yourself credit for. Every time you've let me catch a small glimpse of the person you really are, I've only wanted to know more." She glances down to the floor, looking suddenly shy again. "I want to know you. To know who you are and what you're thinking. And I'm honestly not sure if I've ever cared enough to really know that about anyone else."

Quinn nearly loses her breath at that. "Not even Finn?"

Rachel huffs out a silent laugh. "I thought I did at one point, obviously, but the discovery of who Finn Hudson really is left something to be desired." She shrugs a little sadly. "I'm afraid there was only so much interest I could muster for video games and football."

Quinn bites back her smile. "How do you know the same thing won't happen with me?"

"I don't," Rachel concedes. "But I've seen the books you read for pleasure, so I suspect that you're going to keep me interested in knowing more about you for quite some time."

"More than just what it's like to kiss me?" Quinn husks, stepping closer.

Rachel's eyes widen, and she inhales sharply through her nose. "Did Finn tell you?"

Quinn frowns in confusion. "Tell me what?"

"That I asked him…" She cuts herself off, realization sparking in her eyes. "You were referring to the note, weren't you?"

Quinn's confusion disappears, and she grins ferally. Because she is smart, and she knows exactly what Rachel was about to say. "Did you ask Finn what it was like to kiss me?"

Rachel doesn't answer, but her blush does. "Why are you being so open to this? You should be telling me to stay away from you."

She probably should be, but she isn't going to. "I guess that's just one of those things you're going to have to discover about me." Quinn steps away from Rachel, shouldering her own bag before sending Rachel a wink. "Maybe you'll even get a first hand answer to that other question of yours. If you're up for it."

She leaves Rachel sputtering as she saunters out of the bathroom with an extra sway in her hips and a grin on her lips. It's the best she's felt about herself in a very long time, and if she's being honest, she thinks she's probably been mostly wooed by Rachel already. It hadn't taken much more than that little speech of hers. But Quinn isn't about to pass up the chance to be treated to more of the same.

It's really no surprise to anyone that Rachel once again has a song prepared for glee.

"Just a little something to lift our spirits after our disappointment," she explains, but there's a twinkle in her eyes when they seek out Quinn that Quinn fully understands the moment she begins to sing.

"Well you done done me and you bet I felt it I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted. I fell right through the cracks And now I'm trying to get back."

Quinn barely stifles her giggle at Rachel's song choice. It's not exactly a standard love song, but the message is still pretty clear, especially when she's so obviously singing to Quinn.

"Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my best-est, And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention. I reckon it's again my turn To win some or learn some. But I won't hesitate no more, no more. It cannot wait. I'm yours."

Rachel's dark eyes are on Quinn while she makes her musical declaration, but then Rachel is grinning and dancing around the rest of the room for the second verse, doing a fair job of pretending this is for the entire glee club. Quinn knows better, and when she glances around the room, she sees all their friends smiling and enjoying the performance.

But at the end, Rachel's eyes come right back to Quinn for her very last—

"This, oh this, this is our fate. I'm yours."

Quinn thinks she's pretty okay with that.

And Tina can suck it.

#have you ever really?#part iii #faberry #ficlet

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