#if you want anything clarified or have any follow up questions let me know!!

[teabutmakeitazure]

Roll a Die, Roll a Poison - A Game

>Yan! Aventurine x Fem! Reader

>Word count: 1.7k

>a/n: very subtle yan themes in this one. might expand on this soon. i love a man going through trust issues and self depreciation. plus points if he's pretty

Part 2

To say you found the sound of a die rolling to be annoying would be an understatement. No, it scratches your auditory canal as it works its way through to your eardrums, wreaking havoc on your hearing before you even register the sound. What’s worse is the voice that follows after it and the insufferable smile accompanying it.

“Care for a game?”

Asking for your participation is a charade. In the occurrence that you do decline, you are simply pestered to the point that you give in like how an older sibling acquiesces to the younger’s demands. Except you two aren’t family, not yet at least, and he is nowhere near a cute younger brother or a cute younger anything.

The fur lined coat is shrugged off, and Aventurine plops down on the other end of the sofa. You have half a mind to get up and relocate, but considering his pettiness and the very high possibility that he would simply follow you, you decide to let things be. A single die is placed onto the dark oak centre table in front of you both, and when you look at him questioningly, he simply rests his back against the sofa with a smile. The dark teal green velvet of the sofa sometimes seems like a deliberate choice to you.

He is wearing a similar colour after all. Like he almost always is.

“No bets,” Aventurine clarifies. “Just a game.”

You cross your arms over your chest, refusing to accept so readily. “What kind of game?”

When he speaks, his voice slightly reverberates through the empty apartment. It reminds you of how empty it is and how he is the only other here. “Oh, it’s just a simple game, to get to know each other better. Each of us will take turns rolling the die. If the number is 1 to 3, you have to answer a question I ask. If the number is 4 to 6, I have to answer a question you ask.”

“No constraints on the questions? I have an idea of what might be brewing in your mind, and I frankly do not like it.”

He laughs, eyes closing as he recomposes himself. “Ah, as much as I would love to enact upon that, I’m afraid I won’t. It’s just a simple game, dear. Won’t you humour me?”

You glance between him and the die innocently lying on the table, the number 2 staring back at you. His coat is hanging over the backrest and he’s wearing his usual work clothes. Something must have happened at work. Something that ticked him off, and now he’s looking for an excuse to bask in your company because he’s aware you won’t humour him without something like this.

Fine then. You’ll accept on your own accord. Maybe you might end up with an answer or two.

“Alright,” you answer. “Any other thing I should know?”

He blinks, those devastatingly beautiful yet incriminating eyes blink at you. “Alright~ The first person to score a total point of 30 wins. Their prize? The other person has to do whatever they want.”

“I thought you said there’s no bet.”

“This isn’t a bet, sweetheart. It’s a game. There are winners and losers in games.”

Something’s up. 30 isn’t a high number. The game will be over not too long after it starts and the winner gets a prize that’s too good to be true. “Are you sure?” You eye him wearily as you speak, the smile never leaving his face. “What if I win and ask for you to never see me again? Isn’t that too big of a price to pay over a silly game?”

Aventurine hums. There is either something cooking in his head or he’s overly confident that he would win. The latter you would not put against him. He has insane luck. So much so that you worry over him someday shooting himself while playing roulette with a revolver, but it hasn’t happened yet.

“Well,” he drawls, “you can ask for anything you want if you win. However, it’s imperative for you to remember that there is a way to work around everything. So then, let’s begin, shall we?”

He reaches for the die, and asks for your hand. When you extend your palm to him, he grabs it gently with one hand, the leather rubbing against your skin as his thumb rubs your wrist, and the other places the die on your hand. “Ladies first,” he chuckles. You waste no time in rolling, the sound of the die falling onto the empty table making you cringe.

When it stops, the number 3 stares back at you. What a great start.

“Oh! It’s my turn to ask. How lovely.” When you give him a sad look, he’s quick to conceal the excitement he just displayed. “Ah, I’m not sure what I should ask. Give me a second.”

You know he must have prepared at least 10 questions beforehand, so purposely dragging it out is just rude.

“I know,” Aventurine exclaims, “Tell me one thing you like about me.”

You deadpan. “That isn’t a question.”

“What’s one thing you like about me?”

Okay now this is tricky. The temptation to reply ‘your money’ is strong, but you both know it’s not true. You could care less about his riches simply because you do not let him win you over with them. There are another few answers that you could use to your advantage to potentially playfully dodge the question, but you suppose that wouldn’t be a very noble thing to do.

Thus, you break eye contact and direct your attention to the die on the table. “Your attention to detail,” you mumble out. “It’s… interesting.”

Aventurine makes a satisfied hum, and you can almost hear the upward curls of his lips in his voice. “I’ll take it. Now then…”

A gloved hand grabs the die and rolls. The number he rolls is 5, and you mentally cuss him out. “My turn again!” He asks you to face him, that sweet, buttery voice of his leaving those perfectly moisturised lips and-

“My question is… what would be the perfect date you ever went on?”

This time, you blink at him. Interacting with Aventurine is usually like a game of chess. Both of you move your pieces in your respective turns, and every sentence that leaves either of your mouths counts as a move. The pieces represent the strength of either party. However, it is imperative to reiterate that you aren’t good at chess and you’re pretty sure he’s either eating or hiding your pieces when you’re not looking.

“Nothing,” you reply. “I would rather not be on a date. Ever.”

He tuts. “You were the one who asked me out the first time. Or are you forgetting?”

“I was not.”

“You asked me out for coffee, remember?”

You choke on your words for a moment. The audacity of this man! “Asking to have coffee together is not a date!”

“Is it,” he chuckles. “We were alone together, and we talked for way more than an hour. I specifically cancelled any appointments I had that day, and I even paid the bill. That’s a date. Not a simple outing.” You part your lips to speak but are cut off. “So, what’s the ideal date for you?”

“I frankly have no clue.” He raises a brow at your admittal, but makes no move to question it. “My romantic experiences aren’t exactly plentiful, but I suppose anything would do as long as it isn’t in a casino or the like.”

“Hm. Noted. Your turn.”

The accursed die is taken into your hands, yet you do not roll it immediately. It is given a harsh glare and a mental warning before flung to the table carelessly. Surprisingly, you score a 6.

Aventurine whistles at that appreciatively. “Hope you’re keeping count of your points.”

“I am. No need to worry your hat off.” A mischievous smile stretches on your lips. Retribution has come, although in a small dose, and you would be an utter fool to waste it. “Riddle me this, my personal annoying, chirping bird. Why do you torment me so?”

He feigns innocence. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Do not play dull. Why do you remain adamant on making my life so difficult?”

“Difficult?” Aventurine acts offended, as though he’s been told he doesn’t love you. “Why, I cherish you, my dear. Regardless, I never caged you. You simply make things difficult for yourself.”

You click your tongue. What a roundabout way of saying he sabotages things deliberately for you. “I would beg to differ.”

“Nevertheless, I cherish you. We’re in love. And before you say something like not liking me back, I’d like to remind you of all the things we did before going into this ‘arrangement’.”

You bite back instantly. The mere mention reminds you of the evening you spent sobbing locked in the bedroom’s attached bathroom. “Do not downplay your actions. You know you hurt me. Playing innocent just makes you look worse.”

“I took a gamble with your emotions as the wager. Sure, I lost a few chips, but I did win. And viola. Here you are.”

A glare full of bittersweet betrayal is directed his way, yet he simply looks tired. “Don’t look at me like that…”

You avert your gaze at that. Life has turned into a series of sought out opportunities to gain the upper hand, something he is unwilling to relinquish. It’s maddening at times, but it is your reality. Even if you wish it weren’t, you don’t hold the power to change it.

“To answer your question,” he says, voice low, “I don’t want to, but I currently don’t have any other choice.” And just like that, in the blink of an eye, he’s grinning again.

“My turn!” Aventurine grabs the die, eyeing it as it sits in his leather palm. “Your 9 points versus my 5 points. Let’s see who wins in the end.”

The sentence makes a chill run down your spine. He’s insanely good at games like this. Just what would he ask of you?

As you watch him roll a 6, you only continue to lose hope for a win. Just like the countless times before.

a/n: he asked you for a kiss on the cheek everyday for a week straight that's it

[jupitersdescendant]

hi everyone, here we go again :)

today’s topic: what does your inner child want to share with you?

here’s how it works: close your eyes and meditate on the question for a little. if you feel ready, open your eyes and choose the pile you feel the most drawn to. it’s possible, that you’ll be attracted to more than one pile. please remember that this is a general reading so only take what resonates. this is for entertainment purposes only. lastly, tarot is only a guide, nothing is set in stone and at the end of the day you have the power over your own life.

art by john mccartin.

Pile 1

cards: ten of pentacles (rx), the magician (rx), two of swords. back of the deck: nine of cups (rx)

hii guys. you’re holding back (kind of a harsh start but i’m just rolling with what spirit is giving me). there’s potential in you that’s waiting to be unlocked. the problem is that you struggle to see your own potential and that hasn’t changed since your childhood. financial security is one of your biggest concerns and triggers since you probably had a rocky home life where money was tight. your inner child really wants you to appreciate how strong and resilient you are. this decks version of the magician depicts an infinity sign which i felt immediately drawn to. this again shows that you carry so much potential in you and whats so special about this is that yours is basically endless. i think you can pretty much succeed in anything that you really put your mind to. if you aren’t familiar with spirituality then this is your sign to see for yourself what your spiritual powers and intuition have in store for you. if you use your powers well and don’t get lost in selfishness then you could really bring a lot of good to the world. you or rather your inner child feels like it’s trapped under water, your hand is still gracing the surface but the rest of your body can’t seem to follow. through some childhood circumstances you learned to only depend on yourself and some of you probably often keep people from getting to close to you. i know that trusting others can be really hard and it seems like you had some bad experiences in the past but we as humans need a loving community to strive and survive. and to pull us out of the water ;) this doesn’t mean that you can’t do it alone nor that you should stop trying but it’s much easier to have a helping hand don’t you think? also, learn to feel your emotions, because bottling all that sh*t up won’t do you any good. if you’re scared of the bad ones try to find a good outlet for them, like running, dancing, writing everything down, boxing, just whatever you feel like doing, doesn’t need to be anything fancy. and don’t forget to be kind to yourself!

additional messages:

- be peaceful and take your time

- find ways to occupy yourself so you can regain your sense of self and find the gifts in the process at hand

- draw upon your inner strength and self belief

- you are more than capable of getting through what lies ahead

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 2

cards: the hierophant, the world, the sun (rx). back of the deck: king of pentacles.

hii! damn pile two your cards left me speechless with all the major arcana dropping out, same was the case for the cards i used to clarify. crazyy. i think your inner child is really proud of you since it looks like you’ve finally stepped into your own power and feel way more confident and comfortable in yourself. you’ve grown to be very wise and have strong morals and ethics. you’re being encouraged to fight for what you believe in. you’ll probably feel like you’re swimming against the current of everyone else but don’t let that hinder you. i just heard you’re being called to duty lol so do with that what you will. the cosmos is on your side, big time. if you have trouble believing in yourself then just know that the universe has your back and is waiting for you to come into full harmony with yourself. butterflys are a sign for you as well as all pink and orange tones, try to surround yourself with them for example through your clothes or flowers that you can put in a vase in your room because both colours could be really energetically pleasing to you. fear may be your worst enemy but don’t forget: it is still possible to move forward after stumbling. the thing that keeps letting the fear get the better of you is your wavering self confidence. some part of you -probably your hurt inner child- doesn’t believe that you have what it takes, which leads to you doubting yourself a lot. this goes hand in hand with fear of failure and procrastination (same dude). apart from doing some active work to comfort your inner child, you could try to find exercises to ground yourself. tanking some sunlight might be really beneficial to you as well as spending as much time as possible in nature. a simple walk in the park will help a lot. it’s really important that you connect to the earth and that you step into your own earth energy which embodies stability, groundedness, safety, growth and many more things :) some of you may even have prominent earth energy or earth dominance in your astrological birth chart. i think what you need to finally trust yourself more and to experience a state of inner peace are the things i mentioned above as well as self acceptance and self love. you have what it takes but will need to believe and love yourself through all of it.

additional messages:

- most fears are learned at a young age, tune into them and determine if they are rational

- visualise positive success as you work through your fears

- physical activity helps to reduce excessive energy related to fear and stress

- stand your ground and stick with your beliefs

- for grounding: plant both feet firmly on the ground, take a deep breath down to your belly and calm your mind, feel the connection between your feet and the earth and imagine yourself feeling calm, centred and grounded

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 3

cards: the sun (rx), queen of cups (rx), judgement. back of the deck: four of pentacles (rx)

hi guys! the first impression i got was that you probably didn’t have the happiest of childhoods and have wounds that haven’t healed yet. your hurt inner child is still very present in your thoughts and behaviours. you have a hard time letting things go that no longer serve you. it is time to distance yourself from this, wether that’s some bad habits, a job or maybe even people who you interact with often. it’s very important for you to let go of your pessimistic views since this often leads to negative self talk real quick. you’re very insecure and struggle a lot with your self image. this leads to you feeling very hurt and uncomfortable in your own skin. honey, there’s simply no need for that. whoever told you that you’re not great the way you are and didn’t appreciate whatever body and face your blessed with, is simply a d*ck (if they’re still in your life then please and kindly drop them immediately). loving one’s body is really hard, especially for women when capitalism wants to make sure that that never ever happens because then we’d stop buying all these useless products to “enhance” our appearance and be deemed as a threat. i’m here to tell you: be the threat lol. self love is freaking hard but i strongly believe in you. progress will be slow and also kind of excruciating as well but moving forward, at whatever pace that may be, is always better than not moving at all. i think you’ll soon be ending a cycle. now it is time to meet yourself with kindness and patience. take the chance to focus on yourself since your relationship with you should be your biggest priority right now. sometimes its more than okay to be a little selfish because at the end of the day the person that’ll be your side forever is you, so make it count :) doing things for you and maybe only by yourself is always a good way to appreciate oneself more. travel could really uplift your spirits, even a short trip can be sufficient or exploring a new part of the city you may live in. moving around in general and in whatever way that comes to mind will be beneficial. you got this!

additional messages:

- take the opportunity to objectively observe how you communicate

- always incorporate respect and receptivity when talking to yourself and others

- if you’re being to hard on yourself, tone it down

- love yourself more and see what you can achieve with a new approach

- the sailfish is currently a big symbol for you since you -like them- have the ability to shake of negative energy

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 4

cards: page of pentacles, king of cups, ace of swords (rx). back of the deck: eight of pentacles.

hii! your inner child wants you to be more accepting of them and to show you that you can achieve your best work when you’re both working together. honestly, it felt like you as well as your inner child are hard to get a read on. you seem very secretive. as a child you probably didn’t have a lot of friends and you’ve been keeping to yourself ever since. for a long time you were very sure that you’re a lone wolf and that you’re better off alone. i’m here to tell you that that’s not the case. if you’ve felt drawn to pile one there might be some messages there as well. your energy feels very grounded and calming but you may have the habit of overworking yourself so that you can keep these feelings of loneliness from resurfacing. i think that deep down you crave emotional intimacy. you want and need to exchange your thoughts and feelings with others but you’re scared to do so. being scared is normal and nothing to be ashamed of as long as it isn’t making you unhappy. maybe it doesn’t feel like it yet but you’re inner child wants you to know that change is on the horizon. of course you’ll have to put some effort in as well but i think you’re slowly awakening to your inner truth. when you start to make it clear to yourself that there will be people who’ll be so grateful to have you in their life with all that makes you you, then there’s nothing stopping you anymore. i think you spent way too much time in your head, hence your need to distract yourself. exchange with others is so important since it will help you feel less alone with your thoughts. once we’re overthinking we’re basically just spiralling into driving ourselves crazy, which is why sharing what’s on your mind can be so very helpful and freeing. the opinions from others as well as their advice can help us see things from a different perspective and can pull us out of those overwhelming thoughts. just knowing you have someone you can talk to is a relieve in itself. it seems like you want to prove to yourself that you’re very secretive by nature which might still be true, though you use this to legitimise your withdrawal from others. i’m begging you, for your own wellbeing, open yourself up. it will only get harder the longer you avoid doing it. you bring a lot to the table and others will be so happy to know you, believe me. i actually think that you’re very knowledgeable and that when you share this side with others it can be very fulfilling. use your creative side and hobbies to connect to others since this could come naturally to you.

additional messages:

- you’re entering an energetic phase in your life

- have faith for the long term and trust the universe

- it is necessary to trust that your dreams are possible

- put aside any preconceptions and allow yourself to imagine a new approach to your situation

- surrounding yourself with things that glitter may help you feel more energetically pleased

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

🔮 thanks a lot for reading 🔮

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get

Lee says:

When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.

Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.

If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.

You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.

You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.

When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.

These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.

So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.

Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.

If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.

Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.

Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.

You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.

If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.

If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!

If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.

When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.

I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.

I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.

Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.

I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.

Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.

Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!

Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!

[bruhnze]

Apple tarts and tiramisu - part 2 - Lucy Bronze x reader

Lucy Bronze x Barista!reader

Summary: this story takes place in 2022, when Lucy just moved to Barcelona, ​​all fictional of course. Part 2 of this story and i decided to make this a series now 😊

Enjoy part 2: the stereotypical first date turns into 2 full days of being togheter (sapphics am i right).

Word counts: idk pretty short, 2k?

Warning: none i think, maybe a bit suggestive

Apple tarts and tiramisu 2

You woke up from a streek of light hitting your face through the shutters. You felt a strong arm draped over you and felt soft breaths in your neck. Suddenly you remembered the day before. Lucy freaking Bronze was in your bed.

You shuffeld yourself back a bit, completely absorbing yourself in the embrace. The arm around you pulled you closer and you heard some low tones coming from Lucy’s throat.

‘’mhmm, good morning pretty girl’’ Lucy said with a raspy morning voice and she kissed your neck softly ‘’had a good sleep?’’

‘’uhu’’ you say ‘’very, how about you?’’

‘’also very good’’ she hummed.

You turned around to face her ‘’breakfast?’’

Lucy grinned "how are you so perfect?"

You looked at her questioning, you had just asked her if she wanted to eat breakfast, nothing special.

‘’I love breakfast’’ she clarified ''do you know there are people that don't eat breakfast''

You laughed ‘’i think you just love food in general’’

‘’mkay that might be true, but breakfast is top tier’’ she said ‘’and desserts too ofcourse’’ she added, coming closer to your face.

Your turned away and hopped out of bed ‘’well lets get going on that breakfast then’’.

You looked at a confused Lucy in the bed.

‘’y/n?’’ Lucy asked while sitting up ‘’are you having regrets?’’

‘’huh’’ ‘’no, not at all why?’’

Lucy narrowed her eyes ‘’so you didn’t just run away from a kiss?’’

‘’no, im-   yes, i am sorry but i have a stinky morning breath’’ you said, cheeks getting pink.

Lucy got out of bed ‘’ahhh, don't worrieee, i don’t mind ’’ she walked over to you ‘’can i kiss your stinky mouth with my stinky mouth?’’

‘’ew Lucy’’ you said but you got closer to her and gave her a quick shallow kiss.

‘’mh’’ Lucy said ‘’okay, i’ll take it for now’’

You pushed her chest ''greedy''

She grinned ''your fault, your kisses are too good''

“Greed makes man blind and foolish, and makes him an easy prey for death.” you cited from a poetry collection you had read.

''okay professor'' Lucy joked ''is that supposed to be a threat?''

You shrug your shoulders ''i guess you just don't have to get blind and foolish''

''Well i just had LASIK done so... that's coverd but i am afraid i might be a fool so please watch over me carefully, i don't want to be preyed down by death'' she faked being scared and looked at you with puppy eyes.

You rolled your eyes '' i cited it because it plopped in my head when i said greedy but now that i think about it, it is a good saying, like we shouldn't rush it..''

Lucy asked ''wait, i didn't study literature.. i don't follow, what'd you mean?''

''Well i am not talking directly about it so i get your confusion but if you replace 'Greed' with ... actually nevermind i don't know what i'm saying i think i need some food'' you rambled and blushed because you had wanted to say love and didn't think that was something you could say after you had just slept togheter for the very first time, even if you maybe were already falling in love with her.

///

Sitting at the kitchen island, eating toast with egg and tomato that you prepared Lucy asked ''sooo... what did you mean earlier? i feel like you didn't dared to say something, but you can say anything to me, you know that right?''

You picked a piece of tomato from your plate with your fork and sighed.

''okay i'll say it, but don't put any value to it.. just .. okay if you replace greed with love is what i wanted to say'' you looked at her expectantly

''Sorry i'm stupid, what was the rest, what was the life lesson then.. oh wait rush you said right.. rushing love?'' She looked confused

''I am confused by myself too'' you laughed ''but i guess i meant that we should take it slow, because i- '' You stopped yourself again.

''don't want to become a blind fool?'' Lucy helped

''yeahh- let's keep it at that'' you smiled

''No i get what you mean'' Lucy said ''i like you too, and i don't want to mess it up by rushing anything''

You sighed relieved ''great, like what you said yesterday, we can start by going on a few dates?''

''Did yesterday count as our first date?'' Lucy asked

''i dont know'' you said ''probably, but i usually don't take someone to bed on the first date..''

''Me neither'' Lucy stated ''but it just -

''felt right'' you added.

''yeah'' Lucy smiled shyly ''and honestly it felt like we waited pretty long''

You tilted your head, wanting her to continue her explanation.

''i kinda had a crush on you ever since that first apple tart''.

You laughed and admitted ''i kinda had a crush on you ever since your first order, hearing your cute little attempt at Spanish''.

''en realidad?'' (really) she grinned ''did you try to seduce me with that free pastry''.

''Maybe'' you laughed cheekily ''or i was just trying to gain another frequent customer''

She fake gasped ''just a frequent costumer, is that all i am to you?''

''well, yesterday you did tell me i was just a spanish teaching dessert'' you fired back.

''mhmm'' Lucy grinned leaning in ''this costumer likes desserts a lot''.

''nah'' you pushed her face away with your hand ''i think this costumer had enough desserts yesterday, and desserts are not for breakfast anyways'' you laughingly added ''but i can put some tiramisu in a plastic container for you to take home?'' knowing she was probably not talking about that dessert.

''do you have plans for today?'' Lucy asked

''what? '' you were confused about her random question ''yeah why''

''Then you don't have to pack me that dessert and we can just eat that here together, tonight?'' she stated ''if you would want to spent the day with me too ofcourse''

''So much for going slow'' you laughed ''but yes i would like that very much''

///

After breakfast you cleaned the kitchen together and both got dressed. You had leant Lucy a pair of briefs.

''So what do you want to do?'' She asked

''i could ask you the same, im fine with whatever to be honest'' you said.

''Show me around Barca? i liked the fountain you told me and Narla to visit'' She suggested.

///

You took her to some places around Barcelona that you could think off at the top of your head that weren't too crowded. It was a nice day and there were quite a lot people on the streets.

In a hidden park, surrounded by old buildings, where you could only get if you knew the way, you and Lucy sat down on a bench.

''Barcelona is lovely'' she sighed ''but i'm so fucking hot'' she wiped her forehead with the back of her heand ''I'm sweating like crazy and you are just fine, how do you do it?''

You chuckled ''yeah you are, and i think because i grew up here, im used to it''.

''I'm what?''

You cited her, mimicking her voice ''so fucking hot''.

She opened her mouth acting insulted ''that is not how i talk'' and then leaned in ''but thanks for the compliment, youre quite hot yourself''.

''That is not how i talk'' you grinned immitating her once more.

Lucy felt your breath against her lips and wanted to kiss you really bad, she knew you were in public but thought this hidden park wouldn't have people creeping around to watch so she came even closer to you.

''oh, shut up'' Lucy said playfully and now you felt her breath against your lips, making you shiver.

''Make me''

''With pleasure'' Lucy softly planted her lips on yours, taking your lower lip in between hers and softly nipt at it. You opened your mouth giving Lucy space to enter with her tongue. Your tongues danced around eachother, exploring eachothers mouths, savouring eachothers tastes.

After a while of the both of you getting carried away in the kiss you pulled away gently.

The two of you looked at each other with sheepish smiles.

Lucy cleared her throat ''uhm anyways, my building has a swimming pool, there is hardly ever anyone in it, would you like to go for a swim?'' Lucy asked

''That sounds nice'' you said ''is it on the rooftop?''

''No, sadly not, that would've been sick, but no it's on the ground floor, next to the gym - that also never gets used''

///

One street away from Lucy's you suddenly realised you didn't even bring a bikini.

..

''it's fine, you can just borrow one of mine'' Lucy said ''or do you not feel comfortable borrowing? if you want you can just try it on and decide then?''.

You smiled at her thoughtfulness ''no, borrowing is fine, for a second i was afraid i had to go swimming naked''.

''mhm'' Lucy closed her eyes ''don't tease me, or i might have to ask reception if i can rent the pool for the day''.

You bumped your shoulder against hers ''you're crazy''.

''you make me crazy''

You rolled your eyes.

///

You were back at her apartment, the aftermath of yesterday was still on the table and kitchen, your books were even still there.

''Gosh, did we leave in such a hurry?'' you blushed ''didn't even take my books, but you should probably borrow them, so it's fine''.

Lucy grinned broadly ''guess our heads were elsewhere''.

''seems like it'' you started cleaning some things up.

''woah woah, you don't have too'' Lucy took the plates from you ''cleaning up is for later'' she put the plates away in the dishwasher anyways ''come on, let's continue with our plans'' Lucy stated excitedly.

You followed her to the bedroom and took in the space.

''what?'' Lucy asked after noticing you reticence.

''Nothing just looking, nice room'' you smiled ''nice bedside table''.

Her gaze quickly went to her beside table, seeing the vibrator you had spotted ''oh god'' her cheeks flushed bright red ''how emberassing''.

''it's allright'' you grinned ''lonely times, desperate measures am i right''.

She walked over and quickly put it in a drawer, when she opened it you saw a few more items "okay let's ignore that embarrassing incident and try on some bikinis" she said to try to change the subject.

But the incident as she had described it, had filled your brain with thoughts that had nothing to do with bikini's or swimming, well maybe a little, considering the high level of nudity in both.

''Maybe you can put them on one by one and i'll say which one i'd like to borrow'' you boldly suggested, knowing you had no intentions of actually going swimming anymore.

Lucy looked at you with her jaw dropping ''you want me to model my bikini's for you?''

''well if you're offering'' You grinned

''i'm not- i didn't- Lucy sputterd ''you cheeky-

''put on a show for me pretty girl'' you purred ''i hope you have lots''

She walked to her closet defeated but secretly excited and opened the drawer with her bikini's, the very bottom drawer of the cupboard.

She swept all the bikinis together with her hands and walked with her hands full to the bed, where you were now sitting, and threw them down.

''Damn, this is gonna be a long show, not that im complaining'' You wiggled your eyebrows.

Lucy laughed ''yeah but maybe you should make a preselection''.

''hmm, i think i can do that, but i might have to see the canvas first''.

''canvas?''

''yeah, you know, the model that will be wearing them''

''im right here baby, just open your eyes'' Lucy joked

''mhmm, very much overdressed still''

''if you want me to strip-

''yes'' you eagerly interrupted her

-you can just ask, is what i wanted to say, but okay the message is clear, i'll take off my clothes''.

The rest of that day the two of you spend exploring eachother, rather than Barcelona or the swimmingpool.

----

more parts

What would you like for future parts of this story? any ideas for dates, meeting parents? paparazzi? Let me know, i love suggestions xx

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗽𝗿𝗼 𝘁𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮'𝘀

having good grades doesn't necessarily mean you're smart, a test or exam can't always determine someone's intelligence, but it's academic validation we crave, right? so here are some tips thanks to which you will get straight a's.

𝟭. understand what the professor wants ( 🪼 )

learning the entire book by heart is tiring and basically useless. we take our education seriously, but it's impossible to know everything about everything, so inevitably there will be topics we can gloss over. check old tests, listen to the teacher during the lecture, talk to students who have already attended the course and passed the exam. understand which aspects your professor particularly cares about and concentrate on those, your exam will certainly go well.

𝟮. strengthen your memorization ( 🦋 )

very often the amount of things to study is just too much and, even though you spend all day in the library rereading the topics again and again, you feel that it is not enough. you get confused, you forget steps, you get lost in the labyrinth of the subject. investing in understanding your form of memorization will benefit you in the long run. identify your type of memory (spatial, photographic, echoic, etc.) and focus on how to improve it. having a good memory will make your studying for the exam much faster and easier.

𝟯. pay attention in class ( 🫧 )

attend all lectures and take notes. much of your studying comes from your professor's lecture. underline the important things in your textbook, carefully follow their speech and - if there are any - their powerpoint slides, writing only the things that the teacher adds and which are not written either in the book or in the extra material, if necessary, record the lesson so you can listen to it again at a later time.

𝟰. organize your notes the same day ( 🧃 )

when i take notes in class i write badly and quickly to keep up with the teacher, shortening words or omitting passages.  by reorganizing your notes that same evening (at most the next day, if you really don't have time) you can revise your work when the lesson is still fresh in your mind; if you wait too long, you will forget most of the things and you will find yourself staring blankly at pages of notes which, at that point, will seem more like hieroglyphics to you than anything else.

𝟱. use ai responsibly ( 🪴 )

artificial intelligence is everywhere nowadays and why not use it to our advantage? of course i'm not suggesting that you let an ai take care of all your tests and essays, it wouldn't make sense, however very often it helped me make a list of key points to develop in a research paper, or gave me excellent ideas and insights for projects. they can also be used to create flashcards, summarize and simplify articles, or create practice tests based on the material you will have to study.

𝟲. delve deeper into your “whys” ( 🌾 )

sometimes when i study i stare into space and wonder why i am studying something that seems completely irrelevant to my path. i'm sure it happens to you too, don't ignore this feeling. don't be afraid to explore themes and topics that aren't clear to you, if two statements seem contradictory ask yourself why, if you don't understand some passages, don't be afraid to ask a question. we study for ourselves, before studying to graduate, to work. there is no shame in not understanding, your intelligence lies in striving to clarify what seems obscure.

[30somethingautisticteacher]

Ink

Buck's eyes followed Tommy's gentle touch as his fingers traced the intricate lines of his tattoos. The sensation was soothing, almost hypnotic, and Buck found himself relaxing into the moment.

"Have you ever thought about getting one?" he asked, his voice soft and contemplative.

Tommy's hand stilled, his eyes meeting Buck's with a curious expression. "One what?" he asked, a hint of confusion in his tone.

"A tattoo," Buck clarified, a small smile playing on his lips.

Tommy considered the question for a moment, his brow furrowing slightly. "I don't know, maybe a little," he admitted. "I just would really want something meaningful, and I haven't found anything like that yet."

Buck nodded, understanding the sentiment.  "I'm thinking of getting another one," he said, his voice taking on a note of excitement.

Tommy's eyes widened, a spark of interest flickering in their depths. "Oh yeah? What are you thinking about getting, baby?"

Buck took a deep breath, his heart fluttering with a mix of nerves and anticipation. "Well, you and I have been together for over a year now, and I kind of want to get something to represent us."

Tommy's expression softened, a tender smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah?" he said, his voice warm with affection. Then, a flicker of uncertainty crossed his features. "It doesn't make you nervous to put something permanent like that on your body?"

Buck's eyes sparkled with a mixture of love and mischief as he looked at Tommy, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Not at all," he said, his voice confident and playful. "You're stuck with me, Tommy.

He paused for a moment, his expression turning more serious. "I was actually wondering," he said, his voice growing a bit hesitant, "if you'd want to get one with me."

Tommy's eyebrows shot up, a look of surprise and amusement crossing his face. "Like a couple's tattoo?" he asked.

Buck nodded, a sheepish smile on his lips. "Yeah, like a couple's tattoo. I thought it could be a fun way to commemorate our love, our story."

Tommy shook his head, a grin spreading across his face. "Evan, you never cease to surprise me," he said, his tone filled with affection. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but... yes, I'll get a tattoo with you."

Buck's eyes widened, a look of delight and disbelief on his face. "Wait, really? You're not just messing with me?"

"Really," Tommy confirmed, a grin spreading across his face as he took in Buck's excitement. "I must be crazy, but I love you, and if getting a matching tattoo is how you want to express that, then I'm all in."

Buck let out a whoop of joy, pumping his fist in the air. "Yes! This is so exciting! You are going to look so hot with some ink on you," he said, his eyes roaming over Tommy's body appreciatively.

Tommy laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "I'm not sure about that, but I do know that with you, there's never a dull moment. Life with Evan Buckley is a constant adventure."

Buck grinned, pulling Tommy in for a quick but passionate kiss. As they parted, he rested his forehead against Tommy's, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "And you wouldn't have it any other way, would you?"

Tommy smiled, his heart full of love and affection for the man in front of him. "No, I wouldn't. I love every crazy, exciting, unpredictable moment with you."

Buck's eyes lit up as he turned to Tommy, a grin spreading across his face. "And I kind of have an idea of what we should get," he said, his voice filled with excitement.

Tommy raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "Oh yeah?" he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "What's that?"

Buck paused for a moment, building the anticipation before revealing his idea. "A firefly," he said, his grin turning playful. "Get it?"

Tommy stared at Buck for a moment, realization slowly dawning on his face. Then, he let out a chuckle, shaking his head in amusement. "A firefly. Because you're a firefighter, and I'm a firefighter pilot. That's pretty clever, Evan."

Buck's grin widened, his eyes twinkling with delight. "Right? It's like a little inside joke, just for us. Plus, fireflies are kind of cool, don't you think? They light up the night, like our love illuminates our lives."

Tommy smiled, a mix of affection and amusement in his eyes. "Okay, that's a bit cheesy, but I get what you mean. And you know what? I actually like the idea. It's unique, it's meaningful, and it represents both of us."

Buck's expression softened, a tender smile on his face. "Exactly. Every time we look at our tattoos, we'll think of each other, of our bond, of everything we've been through together."

Tommy reached out, taking Buck's hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I love it, Ev. Let's do it. Let's get matching firefly tattoos."

Buck's heart swelled with joy and love, his eyes shining with adoration. "Really? You're sure?"

"I'm sure," Tommy confirmed, a smile spreading across his face. "I want to carry a piece of our love with me, always. And what better way than with a tattoo that represents both of us?"

And as they sat there, planning out the details of their tattoo, Buck felt a warmth spreading through his chest. This was love, he thought - a perfect balance of playfulness and sincerity. And he couldn't wait to see where it would take them next.

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Can you maybe write a ghost x reader or a soap x reader? It can be about anything I don't mind :)

Please and thank you!!

Yes yes yes I can do that! I decided to do Reader x Ghost for this one (Soap is still a bit hard for me to put my finger on) so I hope you enjoy a soft slightly angsty beach fic.

Story below the cut

Cast Aside

1.8k Words

Soft angst, tw PTSD referenced (not mentioned but alluded to), tw military life

Simon drew circles in the sand with a stick he’d found a couple of hours ago. He looked up and watched all your closest friends enjoying their time in the sun, laughing and joking and having fun in the water, but he sat all the way back on the beach. He watched you, in particular, among all your friends. You, smiling, laughing, splashing water without a care in the world. How he wished he could join you.

You’d tried to get him to join you earlier, but he had refused steadfastly.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t,” he tried to explain.

“But why?” you asked. The flicker of doubt in his eyes was so subtle that you thought you might have imagined it.

“Don’t like gettin’ wet,” he’d lied.

You knew there was more to it than that, but you let it be. You knew that sometimes, Simon had to be with himself for a bit. Some thorns would get to him in places you never quite managed to touch. You could try to ask him to let you in, but he kept his gardening to himself. It was such a shame he let the roses completely encompass him. 

You were eventually able to pry yourself away from your friends and make your way inland.

You sat on the plush towel Simon had kindly laid out for you earlier. You sat, grumbling about sand getting on the towel and all over your skin, making Simon snort at your misfortune.

You were about to crack back at him when you turned and noticed his attire.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

“How so?” Simon replied.

“Physically,” you clarified as you looked over his arms.

Simon glanced down at the dark long sleeves covering his forearms. He scrunched his brows together under his mask, then turned back to your with a shrug, “Don’t see anything wrong.”

“Well, I mean, you’re kinda just… You look hot,” you finally managed to say.

“Why thank you,” he snorted sarcastically, “you’re lookin’ fine yourself.”

You huff and lightly bat at his arm, “You know that’s not what I mean.”

Simon followed your eyes back to his sleeves, then crossed his arms.

“It’s not too bad,” he said, “nothin’ I can’t handle.”

“You shouldn’t have to ‘handle’ anything,” you reminded him, “we’re here to have fun, remember?”

“You’re meant to have fun. I’m just here for the ride,” Simon replied, a slight edge to his voice.

“We were both invited to the party,” you tucked your knees to your chest as you faced him, “so you’re not intruding on anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. People want you here. I want you here.”

“Why’d you want me here?” Simon scowled.

“Here? Is there something wrong with the beach?” you tried to think back over your history, but there was nothing that could indicate him having any issues with the beach. Nothing except… Oh.

“It’s your scars, right?” you asked.

Simon didn’t say anything. You followed his gaze to your friends, playing and smiling and laughing. All things he couldn’t do with them.

“You could’ve brought some spare clothes, you know,” you chided him lightly.

“I could’ve, but I worried about your friends there askin’ questions,” Simon sighed.

“You could’ve told them to back off,” you tried to offer, but you knew that wasn’t Simon’s way. No, he wouldn’t make any ripples. He wouldn’t want to cause any conflicts, wouldn’t want anyone to be asking questions. No questions, no problems.

You tucked your cheek into your knees and looked over the water.

“Do you like swimming?” you asked.

Simon shrugged, “Swimmin’s swimmin’. Nothin’ too special about it.”

“It’s a nice way to cool off in this heat,” you hummed.

“I’ve got this umbrella here,” he tapped at the handle of the big beach umbrella he’d hidden himself under, “that’s plenty.”

“But do you wish you could go swimming with everyone?” you pushed further.

“Do I wish I could swim with all the others…” he contemplated the question before finally coming to a simple conclusion, “not really, but I wish I could do more things with you. It reminds me of stuff.”

“Things to do with us?” you turned your head to look at him.

Simon took a deep breath and said, “Yeah.”

“I’m guessing not good things,” you gave him a sad smile.

“Not really,” he admitted.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, “the others won’t be in for a bit. We’ve got some time.”

Simon looked out at all the others, then quietly said, “My job controls so much of my life. If I had done anything else, maybe things could be better. We could go to all those summer night parties your friends have. You know the ones I’m talkin’ about, yeah?”

“The ones with all the fireworks and the music?” you bit back a grimace.

“Yeah, those ones,” he closed his eyes, “before I met you, you could do whatever you wanted. No worryin’ about all those loud noises or bright lights or all that junk. You didn’t have to plan to have fun. You just did. But then you met me, and now, “he gestured loosely with his right hand, “I’ve turned everythin’ on its head and… Well… Look at us.”

You desperately wanted to reach out and take his hand, but you’d learned by now. Maybe that was another thing that his job had taught you, was how you had to be careful to not grab him quickly.

“I think I like you more than some dumb party,” you tried to snort playfully, but even you could hear the sadness tinging your voice.

“You always say that, but I don’t know…” Simon finally turned to look at you, “and your friends, they probably have questions about us, don’t they?”

“Sometimes,” you say before you playfully add, “mostly about your mask.”

“My mask?”

“When they first figured out you couldn’t take it off around them, they kept asking me questions like, ‘Can he drink with it?’ or ‘How do you guys go out to a restaurant together?’ and stuff like that,” you grin and add, “I told them how you sometimes forget you have it on and take a drink of water.”

“So they know I’m a right bellend,” Simon rolled his eyes.

“I mean, it is pretty funny,” you shrugged.

Simon huffed, but he didn’t reply.

“Anyways, back to what we were talking about,” you said, “I don’t mind. In fact, I like being with you now more than I liked being alone. Being with you makes me happy.”

“Bein’ with someone like me makes you happy?” he asked incredulously.

“Of course!” now that you got his attention, you could lightly punch his shoulder, “you’re not as bad as you think you are.”

“You say that…”

“And I mean it,” you finished for him, “I think you just get caught up in your own head.”

Simon thought for a moment, then nodded.

“Maybe,” he relented.

“You do!” you laughed, “and I know it’s hard, but you’ve gotta remember that you’re not that bad.”

“I think you’re naive,” he replied with a lighter tone.

“Maybe I am!” you say quickly, “but are you going to be the one to ruin my innocence?”

Simon blinked slowly. He leaned in and whispered, “I’ve ruined your innocence a long time ago sweetheart.”

You blushed and pushed him back with a scoff.

“Okay, fine, sure,” you relent, “but what’s wrong with being naive?”

“Everythin’?” Simon scoffed and shook his head.

“To you, maybe,” you say, “but I’m happy. And I think, in the end, maybe that’s what matters most in this kind of life.”

“In what kind of life? Ours?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you lean back on your hands and cross your leg over your knee, “not quite military, not quite civilian. Somewhere in between,” you smile brightly, “I know you think that you’ve somehow ‘ruined my innocence’ or something, but I’m happy. I think I’m happier now than before. I think,” you paused and looked at him, “I’m happier with you.”

“I don’t see why you would be,” Simon grumbled, “haven’t exactly made your life all rainbows n’ cupcakes.”

“Well,” you look up at the umbrella’s ribbing above you, “for one, it’s nice having some company. Sure, you’re grumpy and bitter and nobody can talk to you until you’ve had your second morning coffee, but the company’s nice. I always know I have someone to come home to.”

“Well if that’s not a low bar-”

“I wasn’t finished,” you cut him off, making him grumble, “alright so… Fuck what was I saying again?”

“Somethin’ about me not bein’ bad company?”

“Yeah! Okay so, you’re great company, and you make me feel safe.”

“Damn well hope so,” Simon muttered.

“Well you do! So yeah, when you’re around, I always feel safer. It’s nice having someone like you around,” you reach your hand up absentmindedly as you traced the umbrella ribbing with your fingers, “when you’re around, I feel like I can finally breathe. It’s like my whole life, I’ve been holding my breath, but then you came in brought me above water. Now that I know what it’s like to actually be able to relax, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Simon, for once, didn’t have something snarky or self-depreciating to say, so you continued.

“And you’re funny.”

“I am not funny.”

“But you are!” you chuckle, “even when you’re not trying to be. It’s like, everyone always takes you so seriously, but if they saw what you were like in your downtime they wouldn’t know how to look you in the eyes. I mean, you play games on your phone when nobody’s looking, you floss your teeth after every meal, and you have a full tea tier list.”

“Dental hygiene is important,” Simon said sagely, “and the tea tier list is of national importance. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“Well, I think you’re being overdramatic, but that’s part of what makes you funny,” you laughed.

“I don’t think I’m overdramatic,” he said bitterly.

“Okay, maybe overdramatic isn’t the right word,” you conceded, “but you just… You take yourself so seriously all the time, but you don’t have to. Not when you’re with me, at least.”

“I have to,” Simon paused, “for work.”

“So, I’m work?” you asked suspiciously.

“You sure are,” Simon muttered, “a right piece of it, I’ll tell you that much.

You scoff.

“I am not work,” you huff, “but listen, you can calm down. You don’t have to hurt yourself to make other people happy.”

“I don’t do that.”

“But you do. And it scares me,” you get up and look at the water, where your friends are coming towards you from the water. You wave at them, then turn to Simon, “People want you here, regardless of what you think you’re like. When we get home, I can explain it more, but for right now?” you smile warmly at him, “it’s okay. You’ll be okay. I promise.”

As said before, my requests are open! I am very happy to make content for people!

[esamastation]

Shizuroth, part nine.

-

"He's been a busy boy, our great Hero."

Angeal looks up from the Buster Sword. Genesis is leaning against the lockers, scrolling through something on his PHS. "That's how you greet a friend returned from a dangerous mission - with gossip?"

Genesis glances at him and then looks him up and down. "You're fine, your report was exemplary, and you're not yet ranting about honour and integrity. Your mission went fine, but it wasn't memorable," he says dismissively and waves a PHS. "This is much more interesting."

Angeal quirks a smile at that. "You should still ask. It shows you care."

Genesis rolls his eyes. "Very well, Angeal, tell me something about your mission I don't already know. I'm all ears."

"Why thank you for asking, Genesis, it went fine," Angeal says, arching his brows. "I'm fine, the farm is fine, the Midgar Zolom was put down. It turns out it had been injured by something prior - probably while fighting another Midgar Zolom - and it was the pain making it lash out and attack people. There was no way around it, so I had to put it down."

Genesis gives him a derisive little clap. "Marvellous, truly a tale fit for a hero - almost exactly word for word copy of your written report," he says. 

Angeal grins at that. "Genesis, don't be an ass."

"Was there really any question about how monster extermination would go? Sending you out was overkill - the Seconds could've handled it," Genesis points out and waves his PHS again. "In the meantime Sephiroth bought a couch."

… Okay, that is interesting. "A couch?" Angeal repeats.

"Along with," Genesis turns his eyes to the PHS, "Order of some kind of household linens, at least one carpet, some kitchenware, and at minimum a dozen new shirts."

Angeal's eyebrows climb up. "He's… redecorating?" he asks slowly. 

"That implies he ever decorated in the first place," Genesis points out - which is a fair. Angeal is pretty certain everything Sephiroth owns was already there when he was assigned a room, and he's not bothered getting anything new since.

Angeal finishes the wipedown of his sword and then stands up. "Does this have something to do with his stay at the labs?"

"Does it indeed," Genesis says and snaps his phone shut. "Turns out, that prolonged stay at Injections was because he was given a triple dose and died. Our famed Hero is operating now with an unknown level of memory loss and who knows what else."

"... Sephiroth?" Angeal asks incredulously. "They overdosed Sephiroth?"

"Mm-hmm," Genesis agrees grimly. "And afterwards he holed himself up in The Restroom because he forgot how to find a way back to his rooms or how to use keycards. Scared some poor Third witless. And now he's taking up home decoration."

Angeal runs a hand over his face. "So he doesn't feel comfortable at his home," he muses.

"I honestly don't know how he ever did, it can hardly be called a home, but that's a fair guess," Genesis agrees and puts his phone away. "He didn't even seem to recognise the place yesterday, though he was rather out of it. He's had a day to sort himself out since."

"And he's been ordering furniture," Angeal clarifies and folds his arms, thinking. "Taking command of his surroundings and exerting control."

"A basic coping mechanism," Genesis agrees. "He's been given a three day leave - two days left of it now. Lazard wants us to evaluate his status, and the sooner we do it, the better."

"Hmm," Angeal agrees and nods. The sooner they did it, the sooner they'd know what Sephiroth would need to recover. Or, failing that, how to cover up the loss. "Very well. Let's go see how he's doing."

Genesis bows him to go ahead and then follows Angeal out of the locker rooms and to the elevators.

"Never thought I'd be evaluating Sephiroth, of all people, for whether he's fit for duty or not," Genesis comments while hitting the button for the right residential floor, sounding almost resentful. "He's the SOLDIER."

Angeal hums in agreement. He honestly thought Sephiroth was above the usual side effects of Mako injections - he never seemed to have any issues… or maybe he was so used to it that he didn't even care anymore.

No one could call Sephiroth well-adjusted even in the best of circumstances.

"We'll do what we can to be there for him and help him out," Angeal says firmly. "As his friends it's our duty to see that he recovers."

"Yes, yes, it's the honourable thing to do, and so it goes," Genesis says, waving a hand dismissively and leaning back against the elevator wall with a sigh. "I just have to wonder, what will the labs do with us, if they're starting to take risks with him? And why? Why risk overdosing Sephiroth, of all people? He's already the strongest of all of us - why the rush to make him even stronger?"

Angeal folds his arms. That… is a good point. "Maybe the situation in Wutai is escalating," he comments.

Genesis scoffs. "There's more of us SOLDIERs than ever before, and still they stuff all their eggs in a single Sephiroth-shaped basket."

Angeal gives him a look. "That's not Sephiroth's fault."

Genesis shakes his head in disgust and then looks up as the elevator comes to a halt. "Well then, let's see if our Hero is worthy of the honours he's afforded."

Angeal elbows him admonishingly and Genesis elbows him back irritably, and together they walk up to Sephiroth's door.

Sephiroth opens on the second knock and looks out hopefully - only for his face to fall at the sight of them. Angeal carefully keeps his face in check and doesn't just gape like an idiot at him, but it comes very close.

Sephiroth's is wearing a t-shirt and - are those… pyjama pants?

"I'm guessing you're not here with the food," Sephiroth says, sounding disappointed.

Genesis is fully gaping at him. "You ordered fast food?" he demands. "What, did you forget where the cafeteria is?"

"... I can't order food now?" Sephiroth asks evasively, looking away.

"... You did, you absolutely forgot where the cafeteria is," Genesis groans, running a hand down his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why didn't you - no, never mind. Did you eat at all yesterday? And are those pyjama bottoms?!"

Sephiroth looks down at himself. "It's… my day off," he says then. "I'm not going anywhere and I want to be comfy."

"I didn't even know you owned pyjamas," Genesis says, somewhere between horrified and impressed.

Sephiroth makes a face and shrugs. 

Angeal mouths comfy to himself, and then schools his reaction. Clearly - clearly Genesis' concern is warranted. This is… very out of character for Sephiroth. "Everyone deserves to be comfortable in their own homes," he says and elbows Genesis again. "But perhaps we would all be more comfortable inside, rather than in the doorway?"

Sephiroth hums in agreement. "Fine," he says and steps back. "Come in, then."

Sharing a look, Genesis and Angeal step into what no longer even feels like Sephiroth's apartment. Everything has been rearranged, the bed, the desk, the table - there is a new couch facing the room and a carpet in front of it, and the whole room feels very different. It's not a huge difference, but…

It looks very… comfy.

"Oh my Goddess, the memory loss turned Sephiroth into a real boy," Genesis mutters and elbows Angeal urgently. "He has curtains now."

He does. They're translucent and green.

-

SY isn't missing Qing Jing Peak at all and doesn't know what you're talking about.

[stilljuststardust]

Hey my sister wants to shift, she’s 13, what is the most basic “here’s what you need to know and never listen to shifttok” song you’ve got for her?

∘₊✧Explanation✧₊∘

Thanks for the ask! I'm sorry this took me so long I've been having some health issues.

Disclaimer, please read:

There are SO many different perspectives on how it works. Mine is not the only one and though all perspectives are valid, I'm going to assume that you chose to ask me because you are familiar with my blog and how I personally view shifting.

I'm going to try to leave LOA out of it but that is how I personally view shifting.

What is shifting?

Shifting is when you become aware of the life you're living in another reality. The reality you shift into is just as real as the one you are currently in. It will feel real because it is.

How to shift

Strictly speaking, you don't have to do anything to shift. How people shift is so personal and customized and nothing is necessary to do it but I'll try my best to give "instructions" anyway.

You decide you're in your DR, you decide that it is true and it has worked, ignore anything outside of yourself that tells you otherwise, and know that it is true because you freaking said it was.

You decide you've shifted and ignore anything but that decision. That is IT. Don't worry about this reality, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about any aspects of this reality you can still hear see or feel, they won't stop you from shifting don't let them distract you.

ALL you have to do is become aware of your DR. I know that it can be hard to conceptualize that for a beginner so most people use methods.

Methods

To start off: It is not necessary to have a method. Many people just intend to shift and then they do. That's it. You don't have to do anything, however I recognize that for someone who isn't familiar with shifting "just intend to" is probably an unhelpful answer.

Most methods can be divided into two categories, awake and asleep methods.

Awake methods revolve around becoming aware that you are already in your DR.

Asleep methods revolve around becoming aware that you will wake up in your DR.

Common features in both kinds of methods:

Meditation

Visualization

Affirmations

Affirmations are pretty straightforward, you repeat a sentence that aligns with your goal over and over. "I have shifted. I am in my DR."

What I personally do

I robotically affirm all day "I am going to shift tonight" robotic affirmations are just repeated affirmations without feeling. So all day I just say it to myself again and again.

I then take some time to sit down and imagine my desired reality, my favorite street, pretty things I would see throughout the day, stuff that grounds me in the feeling of it.

Then I just lay down and tell myself I'm there no matter what. No matter what I feel hear or see I am there.

Doesn't matter I'm there.

Frequently asked questions

I am choosing to put these first because I feel like they really clarify what shifting is and how it works.

Will I have memories of my destination reality once I have shifted?

Yes, you have always existed in that reality and you have a life's worth of memories there. When you become aware of a reality and of the version of yourself that exists within it you also become aware of your memories there.

How does scripting work/ what is it?

It is a description of the reality you'd like to shift into, usually written. Think of it as an the address of the reality you'd like to shift to. You specify the details of the life you would like to become aware of. Having one is not necessary.

Can I script [insert anything here] ?

Yes. You can script anything, and I mean anything. If you can imagine it, it is possible. The realities we shift to do not have to follow the rules of this one and what is impossible here doesn't have to be impossible there. You want to script the sky is purple? Then it is. You want to have wings? Congratulations you can. I cannot stress this enough, ANYTHING you want can be scripted.

Relevant posts

Your desired reality already exists

An old post of my own shifting routines nothing listed is necessary, the list exists to give ideas not instructions

How to visualize

A good post on shiftok misinformation by my awesome mutual

[qqueenofhades]

Maybe this is a controversial opinion, but its one that I've been reminded of in the few weeks since things have escalated so severely in Israel and Palestine-- I feel like the pressure for random, average individuals online to be vocally political is not only entitled and uncomfortable, but also just an example of misplaced priority.

Like, I have people on twitter right now that are flat out saying if you don't talk extensively about I/P you're truly, irredeemably evil. I've had mutuals say that silence means you're complacent in genocide, that you have blood on your hands (exact words). But it just doesn't make sense? Most of the people who I've seen being flat out harassed for being silent are teenagers who don't have money to donate, working class folks who don't have time to spare, and normal people who just don't have enough of a following online to even spread any word effectively. Of course, the ones doing the harassing are also poor/busy/not-popular, but they don't see the irony. (I've also seen them say that talking about war constantly is taking a toll on their mental health, saying they've cried, had nightmares, panic attacks, etc...but they also say that taking a mental health break from social media is "selfish" and genocidal, so.)

The whole interaction leaves me with so many questions. If stepping away from social media because politics are stressing you out (which they are known to do), are you obligated to use social media? Do you have to use twitter to be a good person? What does that say about people who can't afford a phone, or live in a country where it isn't quite possible? (Are homeless folks inherently genocidal, or is that an "obvious" exception that was never clarified because no one uses nuance anymore?) If you have to talk about world events, lest you side with the oppressor, at what point is something so catastrophic you *must* talk about it? Is there a number of lives lost that is low enough you can get away with being quiet, and a certain amount too high that you're obligated to talk about it? Is it your duty to have the news on 24/7 to make sure you don't miss anything and catch all the global disasters as they happen? How much do you have to talk about something for it to be considered "enough"? Is there a quota??

It just feels like a lot of people are acting as if people who aren't chronically online aren't 1. doing any activism, because the only important activism is social media networking (sarcasm), or 2. are inherently bad people for *not* spending 6 hours a day on their phones. Like, I had someone I thought was a friend say I was a bad person because I was trying to cut down my social media usage, because the timing was "too convenient"... as if that's a normal thing to say to someone, ever. Sorry if I went on a little bit of a rant, it wasn't my intention. I dunno, maybe it's just me; I've seen a lot of people saying this sort of stuff so maybe they are the majority. It just feels really weird to let people that are addicted to social media take charge of who online is "good" or "bad" based off their internet usage. As if we were all catholics or something. If I were to say that current takes on morality were very catholic-seeming, would you know what I mean?

As recently noted, I am myself on an embargo from answering asks related to this topic. I will make one exception because this is important. Please note that any wank in replies or reblogs will be instantly blocked (and I won't hesitate to disable reblogs if necessary). I will not be answering follow-up asks or getting drawn into Discourse. I do not want to do it and it will not be happening.

I have said it before, but it bears saying again: thinking that the only way to Do Activism is to be constantly on social media and immersing yourself in terrible things nonstop and then posting the Most Correct Opinions (and then viciously attacking anyone who is even slightly Not As Correct as you) is absolutely bullshit. If you're engaging with this content so much that it's giving you a mental breakdown or otherwise plunging you into a spiral of anxiety that you take out on other people who are just as far removed from actually doing anything about it as you: why? Do you really think that you and you alone, one random person on the Internet, are the only way anyone else is going to find out about these things? Or do you think you have to perform the Most Correct Opinions nonstop, viciously harass anyone who isn't responding in exactly the same way, and this is the sum total of what your response should be? Especially in a situation as bloody and complicated as this, dealing with reams of religious, social, cultural, and political history where the average commentator on this conflict knows only what's been fed to them by propaganda on TikTok? How the fuck is that useful or constructive for anyone, aside from perpetuating the idea that you have to be angry all the time on social media about things you essentially know nothing about? I can't see that it does.

What's happening to the Gazans right now is no qualification or equivocation, a genocide. It should rightfully be opposed and called what it is. But unfortunately, I have spent too much time around Western Online Leftists to believe they actually care a whit about stopping genocide as a fundamental principle, and only want to be seen to loudly care about what their Ideology has told them to care about. If it means hand-waving aside genocide and atrocities when committed by their preferred polities, so be it. Why haven't these same people been wall-to-wall up in arms about what Russia has been doing in Ukraine, or for God's sake Syria for the past ten years, if they're really concerned about the rights of innocent Muslim civilians attacked by a far-right imperialist power? Why not the Uighurs in China? Why not [insert the blank] of all the terrible things happening in the world as a result of far-right fascist genocidal imperialism? Why only this conflict? Why now? Why does it involve so much excusing of terrorism as long as it's committed for the Right Ideology? Why are some of the most loudly pro-Palestinian accounts on here also the most rabidly pro-Russian? How does that make sense? To put it bluntly, those genocides are being committed by nation-states that Online Leftists like for being "anti-Western," and therefore their activities are actually fine and should even need to be defended.

My point is not to say that what's happening to the Palestinians is not bad. It is. It is awful and inexcusable. However, I seriously doubt the motives and morality of those who are being the loudest about screaming on social media and attacking everyone else for not instantly repeating their views. I seriously doubt that the Online Left actually opposes genocide and accelerationism as fundamental principles, because they proudly demonstrate every day that they don't. Until those vast factors can be dismantled and shown for what they are, and this can be placed into its larger context, I don't buy it and I don't believe this wall-to-wall social media outrage factory is actually aimed at helping the Gazans or anyone else suffering the most as a result of this. It is just to show that they can be counted on to Perform Outrage and harass anyone else who doesn't do the same, and that does nothing for anyone whatsoever.

[bow-wow-wark-wark]

Toshiro defense post

Hi everyone! So, I know this topic has been discussed a bunch of times before xd, but I keep seeing people say nonsense about Toshiro so… strap in cause this is another Toshiro explanation post!!

IMPORTANT: I do want to clarify that it’s fine if you dislike Toshiro. After all, everyone has the right to dislike characters so I’m not going to stop you, I know it’s not that serious. But then I’d like to ask you to stop spreading misinformation about him, use him for angst stuff that mischaracterizes him or any of that xd. Like, dislike him in peace xd but stop using him as a villain. Also, before any of you say “I understand his complexities but…”  let me stop you bc most of the time you don’t xd. Like you acknowledge the microaggressions and other things but use other poor excuses for hating him or invalidate that, so please read this post and keep an open mind!! Finaly, this post is going to touch on and disprove the following topics: 1. Toshiro hates Laois (together with stuff like how he is ableist and an asshole) 2. Toshiro is a huge hypocrite for liking Fallin (together with how he doesn’t really love her) and 3. Toshiro was racist towards itsutzumi (without getting too into complex race politics). I will also back up my arguments by content in the anime and some of the extras from the manga, despite that I will not delve on spoiler related content so, let’s get to it!

1. Toshiro hates Laios.

Something that people use to hate on Toshiro is his famous fighting scene with Laois, saying things like “Toshiro was ableist towards Laois” “Toshiro is a hypocrite because he complains about poor communication, but why didn’t he say anything himself?” “Toshiro hates Laois” but before we tackle this let’s recap:

In this scene they fight over the fact that Laois has poor social skills and doesn’t understand the ways Toshiro expresses his annoyance at him and his desire to have some space, he also accuses Laois of being unserious about saving Fallin and even says that he has always hated Laois. This scene resonated with MANY people that have experienced this exact same conversation with “friends” who would get mad at them for showing neurodivergent traits, I am one of those people as well so I can totally understand.  So, them seeing themselves in Laois and their acquaintance in Toshiro people accuse him of being ableist, but this:

Is not that. First of all, it’s important to note that Toshiro’s complaints come from his cultural background as an easterner, where he is used to subtle communication, and by his upbringing as an heir of his island (something that is explained by this thread in great detail!! But to summarize it basically says that he has become more reserved due to his retainer’s overbearing nature and do to being compared to his father constantly and by being surrounded by rumors of his family, so he chooses to not speak out as to cause more trouble for himself). Second of all he doesn’t really do anything ableist… many people say that they hate him “because he was a huge dick to Laois” but apart from expressing his frustration by yelling and fighting, something rude of course, what ableist or horrid thing did he do?  He didn’t call him names or anything, and even acknowledges the fact that Laois is someone who acts in good fate and doesn’t mean any harm to him, but he still dislikes his actions (not a bad thing at all). It’s also important to note that Toshiro is TIRED in this scene, he hasn’t eaten or slept in 3 whole days and suddenly he bumps into a bunch of problems and the girl he loves turned into a monster by this guy who seems WAY to relaxed about it and who he already has gripes against, my question is: Who wouldn’t lash out? Additionally, this scene is important for him too!! As he finally stands up for himself and expresses his feelings, something that drives his character development into being a better guy.

On top of all that, it’s also important to note that Toshiro himself shows signs of being neurodivergent just that in a different way than Laois. For example, his hyperfocus on saving Fallin making him ignore his needs, his overreliance on social cues to understand others, his stand offish an awkward nature that doesn’t let him connect with the people around him and his difficulty to express his needs. These are things many neurodivergent people can relate to, and dare I say, things Laois shares with him!! They both suck socially which is literally what causes this, so what makes him so different? So hard to forgive? What makes it hard to understand him but not Laois? And let’s all not forget the fact that Laois has been pulling a microaggression on him by calling him a butchered version of his name this entire time! It doesn’t make him evil! But it shows how they have a complex relationship where both sides where right. (Also, I know this is a complicated topic and I know there are poc people who hate him BUT, to me the issue is that he 1. Has a meltdown and 2. He’s not white. Like it is very known and said that poc cannot express themselves in such freeing ways as our white counterparts, so it’s harder to be nd and poc than white and nd, which is somehow the case for Toshiro as well xd. Many people say that he shows how people only like nd traits when they’re palatable, but this argument goes back to you, you might find nd traits better when it’s on a white guy you can baby and not on the Asian guy who should know better. None of them should have to, characters are allowed to do bad things and fix those errors).

 Lastly, Toshiro mends his mistake immediately!!  He doesn’t hate Laois, if anything he holds complicated feelings towards him for a while, which most of the cast do (more on this later). Some people seriously act like this didn’t happen, but at the end of the fight he admits that he doesn’t hate Laois (media literacy check but not everything a character says while angry is true!!) but envies his free spirited and straight forward nature. And if this doesn’t seem enough to mend his mistake, he gives Laois the calling bell, which will immediately send someone to help him and fetch him to the east. Would you have a guy that you HATE as a refugee in your country? Plus, he’s serious about the bell too! This scene wasn’t added in the anime, but there’s a point where Toshiro and Kabru are leaving and they keep hearing the bell, which they point out as annoying, despite that Toshiro always keeps it with him and says that if the noise stops, he will know to fetch Laios. If he really hated him, why would he keep a loud object around him just to make sure he is safe? (There’s literally a scene where it goes off after Laois throws it and he just acts embarrassed that it’s interrupting a conversation, but he doesn’t leave it or anything).

2. Toshiro is a huge hypocrite for liking Fallin.

With that point out of the way, lets get to the 2nd problem: Toshiro’s crush on Fallin. Let me preface once more by saying I LOVE Farcille and think they’re a very cute ship, but using Toshiro as your angst bait is not cool and super ooc (clarification: I don’t mean like a respectful joke about him getting rejected or exploring marcille’s thoughts on his proposal, I mean bashing on him hard or saying that he would intervene or disapprove of a farcille relationship).

Ok so in this case, many people say that Toshiro is a HUGE hypocrite because of 2 things: 1. He likes Fallin but dislikes Laois even though they’re almost identical, and 2. Because he claims to love Fallin while abandoning her and condemning black magic.

So, let’s get into why this is not true:

We have already discussed how Toshiro does not dislike Laois, but pushing that out of the way, the one thing he “dislikes” about Laois is the one thing he does not share with Fallin, which is their social awareness. Fallin is significantly more socially aware and tends to do things as to avoid burdening others, putting her needs aside, she’s someone who is very thoughtful and mindful of the people around her, unlike Laois who, while also thoughtful and kind, is not as receptive (Also crazy to note that her and Toshiro share this “not fully sharing my feelings as to not burden others” thing). Besides that, he likes that Fallin likes bugs/nature (the same thread from before has a nice possible explanation if you want to check it out) something that could be related to Laois’s love for monsters which, fun fact, he doesn’t hate at all!! Something that, funnily enough, others seem to give Laois flack over but not Fallin (crazy how there aren’t as many people shitting on Marcille or chilchuck for this?? specially since Fallin also likes monsters but Marcille never says anything about it and centers her annoyance on Laois? Wow… (I don’t hate Marcille for this either btw, I’m being sarcastic). And on the topic of this double standard, I’ve seen many people ask how he thinks he can marry into the Toudens while hating Laois (bad), while at the same time seeing so many “omg marcille thinks the only downside to marrying Fallin is Laois” (funny), crazy how its bad when Toshiro does it, huh? (Even crazier is the fact it’s only half true for both of them xd, they like Laois he is their friend)

So, once more he dislikes that Laois doesn’t give him space but likes Fallin because she does, especially because they aren’t very close at all. Toshiro has a hard time getting close to others and it’s stated that he tends to put barriers around himself with people who are “close” to him like maizaru and Hien. But since Fallin is an acquaintance at best it’s easy to like her from afar and the traits she seems to show outwardly.

Which leads me to the next point: Toshiro mani pixie dream girlifies Fallin. It is true that Toshiro has idealized her and doesn’t know her too well because they don’t talk but... is that a crime? There are many characters who hold biased opinions on others (like kabru with Laois or senshi with marcille or marcille with the orcs, etc.) and that doesn’t really get critiqued either. I don’t think it’s the sign of a horrid man for him to like Fallin without knowing her to well xd, it’s pretty normal for a crush and also if you consider his nature. Besides, this is once more influenced by his background: in one scene chilchuck mentions how the proposal thing is common in the east + he is an heir xd, so it’s only logical to be thinking about marriage, specially since his dad has high expectations for him (something that I know has not yet been shown in the anime, but it is present on extra manga content). It’s important to note also, that he doesn’t claim that he knows her best, puts words on her mouth or push his feelings towards her either. He proposes, she says that she will think about it and as far as the anime is concerned, he waits patiently for her answer. He doesn’t say “curse you woman you are coming with me!” or anything like that, and even if he expresses that he wants to leave with her to the east, that is ONLY if she says yes and agrees to that, so its illogical to say any of these things without proof.

Now onto the 2nd main point of this section: He abandoned Fallin and hates black magic. 1st of all, he didn’t abandon Fallin, he left to gather his retainers to search for her in a way he thought more efficient and once we see him again, he HASN’T EATEN OR SLEPT IN 3 DAYS OUT OF DEDICATION ALONE!! (If you use the argument that he abandoned Laois, that can also be explained by this). Now, him hating dark magic and claiming to turn in Marcille to the elves. This is not the best, since it poses conflict for our protagonists but 1. He doesn’t even end up doing that and helps them out after all is explained and 2. Put yourself in his shoes, what would you do if your crush turned into a monster that killed all your party? “Toshiro didn’t love Fallin enough to accept her as a monster unlike Marcille” Are you guys listening to yourselves? What he sees is a Fallin that has been desecrated and turned into a monster, something that will harm her and others + he’s not a magic specialist so how would he know or believe that they could turn her back to normal? He condemns Marcille but not out of lack of love, but I would say because of it, as far as he knows this could only turn worse for her anyways. Also, Kabru points out his illogical line of thought, claiming that it would be better for Fallin to die then, and Toshiro realizes how stupid he sounded a moment ago xd; Kabru points out how he also would have done anything to save her, and he backs down in agreement.

Once more, maybe annoying but not bad guy material. What’s more, this one is a really pressing matter as I have seen SO many Farcille fan artists and editors using him as an easy villain that hates Marcille (he is canonically scared of her) or as a cuck that doesn’t get Fallin. Somone pointed out once how he gets treated like a female character that gets in the way of an mlm ship and I agree. But while sometimes funny, it gets absurd at times and tends to border on making him someone he is not. I’ve even seen people say he’s homophobic (XD) or make him the token straight guy (something that in most fandoms means being an annoying incel character). In addition, many people say that Fallin would hate him for being “mean” to Laois but 1. She is very kind and would probably understand him. 2. If she realizes Laois has forgiven him, I don’t think she would meddle in to fix her brother’s problems because he wouldn’t want that and that’s just not her personality.

2.5 Small section.

Before we move into the last section, I’d like to add a small section called: you guys don’t understand Toshiro’s personality. Let’s be clear Toshiro is a shy, quiet, reserved, sentimental, rigid and half-hearted guy. It’s not common for him to start things, he tends to leave problem solving to authorities, he isn’t too confident in himself, and he is also an outcast in his homeland. Yet so many people describe him as being arrogant of self-absorbed and I really don’t know where that is coming from. Like, I’ve seen a bunch of people say, “oh how can he think he’s good enough for Fallin?” or variations of the sort but... I don’t think he thinks that he just decides to shoot his shot anyways. I’ve also seen some people describe him as some “pretentious rich asshole”, but this is also never showed or implied in text. Toshiro does not flaunt his wealth; he doesn’t act like he is better than ANYONE in the party, he just has money by being an heir (something not fun for him) and that’s it, but he doesn’t even use his status to get anything from anyone either., so… where is this coming from? (Racism? a need for a bad guy? who knows?) Plus, many people seem to dislike him because he is an aristocrat but… the system is not the same as being like a prince, his family just has influence in the east. Besides, characters like Laois or Mithun were also well off and from influential families and don’t get that type of flack. There’re also characters like Laois and Kabru, who express the desire to join this “aristocratic/monarchy” system by becoming king and lord of the dungeon. Who, then again, don’t get that flack.  

3. Toshiro was racist towards itsutzumi.

With that out of the way, we have reached the final point: Toshiro owns people (making him racist ig). Ok so let’s preface by saying 2 things: 1. Dungeon meshi is not a racist story, but a story with racism and many complicated race relations that get treated respectfully for the most part. With this is included, the complex treatment of beast skins and other races seen as less human like kobolds or ogres like Tade.  2. The retainers are not slaves; they are servants for Toshiro’s family.

Ok, so it is true that Toshiro’s father bought itsutzumi from people who were abusing her (and Tade as well but people don’t bring her up when talking about this xd) and later put her to work as a retainer, so therefore he owns her right? Yeah, but not as a slave. Slaves do forced labor and are kept in inhumane conditions, which she is not, as she is given a home, education and the most labor she does is chores (which she usually avoids anyways) and probably some fighting of the sort. In fact, you could even say that she was enslaved prior to being bought by Toshiro’s father (not that this is an excuse for buying her necessarily, but once more this relates to complicated race things). It is also important to acknowledge that as a beast skin itsutzumi (a non-human) is seen as less valuable and gets treated unfairly by maizuru. And while it can border on othering behavior, like being tied up for misbehaving, this is once more pushed by maizuru and not any of the other retainers or Toshiro himself.  With this argument usually comes the mention of the cursed collar that was kept on her, which is definitely a bad thing, but once more it is made by maizuru without Toshiro having ANY knowledge about it. I don’t judge any anime only for not knowing this, but in one extra it is revealed that Maizuru actually used the collar on Toshiro himself as a child, so that he would not leave too far from her side, so she explains that she made a similar one for itsutzumi; in this extra he looks surprised and remembers the traumatizing experience so... yeah, he didn’t know.

Additionally, many people compare the argument that he doesn’t own them, but his father does with the sixpence drama from a long time ago. Saying that this doesn’t excuse the behavior and that he should have done something, but that can also be explained. 1. Toshiro actually doesn’t meaningfully associate with any of the retainers prior to leaving to the island, (as explained by the adventurer’s bible and other extras) except for Hien as they are childhood friends and Maizuru. Besides that, he holds no relation to any of them, so he could not have known about itsutzumi’s situation, and it’s even shown that he doesn’t know how he should treat her at all. Despite that Toshiro does show consciousness towards their situation, saying that he would like to talk to Tade about being so adoring of him and his father, but he isn’t sure how to approach the issue. With that, we could assume the same could be said about his feelings towards itsutzumi. 2. “He left her to die”, technically no. They know she’s a capable fighter, so they probably didn’t see any problems with leaving her and also, itsutzumi scapes his party. Meaning that they know she doesn’t like them so why would they go back and search for her? If anything, Toshiro might have thought of it as an easy way to give her freedom, once more, why would you force someone back when you know they don’t want to be there?

“Why didn’t he let her go sooner?” This is explained by the first bit that he didn’t really know her and by asecond thing: contrary to popular belief, Toshiro doesn’t have such a big control of the retainers as it may seem, and it is ultimately maizurus or his father’s choice as to what to do with them. Like he didn’t want them to come with him to the island, but they don’t heed to that and come anyways. So, what makes anyone think that he could just change his fathers wishes? So yeah, he doesn’t own people they work for his family and that’s it.

So, this is the end of the post, if you read all of this, I greatly thank you and I hope I could make at least one of you change your mind. If not, oh well. Once more is valid to dislike characters, you can keep doing that but stop seriously stop with the angst bait or misinformation spread. That is all I want to say, so thank you again and see you later.

[yeahspider]

car tales

VE’s note - not proofread . mentions of weed . i wrote this high so enjoy . nsfw obvi . collegeplug!jisung x f. reader there will def be a part 2 k i promise .

“so what’s something you dislike when it comes to sex”. you hear jisung ask you as he takes another hit off of your blunt . you’re not exactly sure what lead you to be hotboxing with your plug in his car but you couldn’t find yourself wanting to complain . his car was decent enough you could tell that he tried his best to keep it clean . the only thing on his floor is a packet of wraps for the next rounds . the atmosphere was comfortable and you couldn’t tell if it was because you’re high or because of the massive crush you had on your plug . somewhere deep in you enjoyed having this opportunity to chill with him . you were so wrapped up in your thoughts you almost forgot jisung had asked you a question . you weren’t quite sure what to answer him because honestly you didn’t what you particularly disliked . your sex life being basically nonexistent even though you’re in your third year of college . you’ve had a few one night stands but there was nothing particularly noteworthy of any of them .

i don’t know to be honest. you answered with sincerity . jisung hummed as he passed the blunt . “i can’t tell if that means you like everything or if you just haven’t experienced everything yet.” you could feel his gaze on your lips as you took a hit, inhaling deep as you contemplated on clarifying for him . the second one is all you said as you exhaled . he hummed again . he hummed a lot you noticed .

“wanna try something with me?” you heard him ask . and the skeptical look on your face must have been funny because he let out a loud laugh that had you smiling with you . his laugh was enough to clear up your mistrust as you handed the blunt back to him .

“just trust me, inhale when i blow okay ” you simply nodded your head not really understanding his instructions, your eagerness caused a smile to grace his features , and if you thought his smile caused your heart to flutter it didn’t compare to the heart attack you felt when he took a hit of the blunt and gently gripped your face. encouraging you to open your mouth as his lips graced yours just barely . you felt him blow the smoke pass your lips and you inhaled like you were told to. exhaling the smoke back into his face with a shy smile .

“good girl i see you follow directions well” jisung’s praise had your thighs clenching together and you can’t tell if you hoped he noticed or not , but regardless of what you hoped he noticed .

“is someone feeling needy ?” he cooed . it took everything in you not to jump on him, but he was your plug , this was a business transaction nothing else . “do you really think that?” jisung said with a pout on his lips . it didn’t occur to you that you had said that aloud . the weed was definitely getting to you . what else should i think you asked him . confused as to why your words had hurt him. it’s not like he liked you or anything .

“why would i smoke a blunt with the girl i like if this was just a business transaction? “ jisung said while putting the roach away your jaw almost dropped at his words . there was no way he actually reciprocated the feelings you had for him . before he could say anything you reached for him and planted a kiss on his lips which he gladly returned with a moan .

you felt his hands roam under your hoodie and caress your sides , gripping at your hips . you could sense the hesitation in his soul . “if you want me to stop just say the word” he said to you . but you just kissed him harder . you didn’t want him to stop touching you ever .

[actuallyadhd]

One of my adhd symptoms is I really struggle to read social ques, facial expressions, and tone. I really struggle with this in professional settings, where it feels that everyone wants you to interpret using 5 different sets of rules. Because of this I've misinterpreted several conversations, and now none of my coworkers will speak to me unless they have too. I've tried explaining and apologizing, but either they won't listen, don't believe me about my diagnosis, or don't care. I'm at a loss for what to do, as I can't leave this job for another month at least, and I love the job itself. If you, or any of your followers have any advice please let me know!!!

Sent July 17, 2024

Communication can be really hard for ADHDers! We often miss cues because we're distracted, and for some of us we don't even learn the expected behaviours because we were so "out of it" as children.

One problem we have with non-ADHDers is that they often think our explanations are attempts at making excuses. The only way I can think of to deal with the situation you've described here is to show them that you're trying to do better.

How to do that?

Unfortunately, we almost always have to do all the work. Others rarely think they should have to make allowances or changes for us, because we're weird and different and that's annoying.

So what you do is, you ask lots of questions. You clarify what people mean. If this is an office job, you take notes on any conversation that is related to work projects and then send a follow-up e-mail to make sure your notes are accurate. Never assume that you truly understand what your coworkers have said to you.

If they express annoyance with the incessant questions, simply say that you want to make sure you haven't misunderstood anything because you don't want a repeat of X incident.

I know this is ridiculous, but as I've said to my husband, if they want to pay you to write pointless e-mails and ask a bunch of questions, let them.

Followers, have any of you had this kind of issue with work? Have you got any other suggestions for @booskit?

-J

[wanderingblindly]

Hello my love!! 🤍 how about 36? A kiss to give up control 👀 with lestappen, landoscar, or maxcar, your pick! Love ya <3

i tried a new ship everyone please be very nice to me because i'm fragile and will explode into tears like a squonk if you are not :))) here's some Maxcar, a kiss to give up control (loosely. listen. it made more sense in my head) Prompts!!

Branded

Max is there when Oscar opens the bathroom door, leaning against the sinks like he'd been waiting.

"You're a good actor," He says without preamble; Oscar's now entirely confident that he'd been waiting. He doesn't take the bait, lingering by the slowly closing door. It creaks on its hinges, like the environment is speaking for him. At his prolonged silence, Max's lip twitches. "What?"

"Reckon I should be the one asking that," Oscar says with a raised brow, shifting to press his foot against the door.

He gets the feeling this shouldn't be interrupted.

"Didn't think you were going to say anything," Max shrugs, cross his arms.

"What did you want me to say?"

Max laughs, but not the one that makes his face light up. His eyes are still focused, sharp against Oscar's skin like he's trying to rip at his seams. "What I can see you thinking, I want you to say it."

Oscar could call him on his bluff. His own mum can't read him that quickly, can't even read him with any sort of consistency. It's not even intentional, really. Or at least, it isn't usually. Sometimes, like times where one of the most terrifying figures in your sport traps you in the bathroom, it's a bit more forced.

He could call it. But should he, that's a different questions.

He's waited too long. "You're wondering why I was waiting." Max finally says, uncrossing his arms to grip the edge of the counter – the veins on the back of his hands catch Oscar's eyes. He only lets them linger for a split second, but its enough for Max; he raises a brow, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smirk. "'How can he tell?, right? No one can tell!, yes?"

Oscar steps back onto his heels.

"What about it?" Oscar asks, keeping his tone even, his shoulders relaxed, but he can't control his heart – slowly rising in his throat.

"You're angry," He shrugs a little, like it's natural. And maybe it is, for Formula 1 drivers to be mad, to be so incensed that they feel like their body is burning them alive. But Oscar swallows it down like he craves it, like he can restrain an element stronger than humanity.

Because he can. And he does. He can shape it into something explosive, something terribly and beautifully destructive.

No one even knows its there, that raging storm boiling beneath his skin.

And yet Max presses himself away from the sinks, strolling over towards Oscar like they're going to pass each other in the paddock. "You think you have it so locked up," He says, eyes never leaving Oscar's, words never letting go of his lungs – seizing around them. "But you don't, of course. I can see it."

He stops when they're toe to toe, eyes almost on the same plane. Unblinking. "So what?" Oscar says, refusing to whisper. Refusing to sound anything like himself.

Max laughs, sharp and sarcastic; Oscar can feel it against his cheeks. "Let it out."

Oscar knows what he's doing, trying to stoke at his hearth, trying to elicit fire on his breath. He bites back, tone as dry as he can manage. "Not worth wasting it on you."

"Saving it for Lando?"

He winces. Max smiles. "Saving it for racing."

Max leans in a hair closer, tilting his head – too close for rivals, too far for anything softer. "The racing doesn't stop off the track, mate."

"Why do you care?" He finally asks, and Max's eyes flick down to his lips, assessing in a way that drives a shiver down Oscar's back.

"Curiosity." Max says simply, as if Oscar was stupid for not putting it together on his own. "I want to see what it's like, your anger."

"You want to..." Oscar swallows, eyes following Max's – looking at the knowing curve of his mouth. "take it?"

"I want you to lose it," He clarifies, a hand moving to the back of Oscar's neck, grabbing his nape like a vice.

Oscar doesn't fight against it, doesn't even acknowledge it. He doesn't let Max know that he can feel it, the way his fingers found the soft spots at the base of skull and dug in, the way his touch makes his stomach clench.

"You want to take it." Oscar corrects, stands his ground, and Max flexes his fingers harder.

With a wicked smile, "I want you to give it to me."

Oscar moves first. Or maybe he doesn't. Maybe Max drags them together, wrings Oscar's neck until their lips slam together in some inelegant clash of too-sharp teeth and too-fragile lips, until Max sinks himself into Oscar and tastes blood on his tongue.

Oscar licks it off of him, tastes himself in Max's mouth like he's reclaiming himself, before Max grabs his jaw with his free hand. Pinned from the front and behind, Oscar can't move, can't get Max where he wants him, can't –

"Angry yet?"

Can't control it. That fire in his stomach, in his chest. – he bites down hard, teeth in Max's lip like a brand.

[leclsrc]

Just saw the last Carlos fic and I LIVED for it… but can never get enough of my manz… Carlos x driver!reader (friends to lovers) where it’s hard to be a female f1 driver because everyone is waiting to brand you as overly emotional and dramatic. What if the reader has a bad crash and she claims to everyone including her driver friends that she is completely fine, only to collapse later because of an injury she hid from everyone

silver lining – cs55

genre: drabble, angst?, fluff, yearning

auds here... whatta painful req anon! am trying to get reqs done so i start anew for 2023 but i write painfully slow. anyway i hope you enjoy this. title from silver lining by the nbhd :)

Silverstone is cold and windy when you snag P2 beside Carlos. 

Immediately, you’re ushered into the media pen to answer questions, after the usual physical check-up and initial celebrations. Something tugs at your leg, a dull pain that seems to grow, but you clear your throat and put on a smile for the interviewer. With drivers, the questions are an endless cliche: what was your strategy, did it go down well with Max, your teammate, were there prior discussions of how to handle this and that and conserve that and this.

But with you, the cliche reaches a whole new level. Apart from the usual, it’s: how do you keep your hair so shiny even when racing, any favorite workouts, what’s the female F1 driver diet. It’s tiring, draining to constantly overhear your male coworkers answer more objective, driver-oriented questions. 

It never helps to speak up against it. You’ve got most of the Internet on your side, but there’s the occasional semi-viral tweet that brands you as emotional and dramatic, sometimes backed up by so-called F1 experts. You’ve been the topic of multiple TikToks, podcast episodes, and think pieces that all bring you down.

“Did you feel nervous at all going into Q3, considering there’d been a minor complication with the car?” You feel for the interviewers, though, knowing they have to repeat all these for hours. You swallow your nerves and spout an answer of your own. The pain grows sharp.

The man pauses and reviews his notepad, then. “Did you maybe wish you could’ve gotten P1 today instead of Sainz? Prove the whole ‘girl boss’ notion?”

“My desire to win has nothing to do with ‘girl boss’-ing,” you clarify. “I’m very happy for Carlos, but at the end of the day this is my career, so obviously I’d say yes to wanting to get first place. It’s not an odd answer.”

Your gut churns with dread, knowing this will be spun into a nasty headline later. But you flex your leg, and it sends you into a silent fit of pain—something’s wrong, a muscle pulled or trapped. The interviewer thanks you after a few more questions, and you swallow the rest of your water in hopes of being distracted, albeit momentarily.

Seb bumps into you, notices the grimace on your flushed face. “Everything alright?”

“Tired,” you say, wanting nothing more than to be done with it and sleep the leg pain off. It increases with every step you take, but if you start showing signs of it here, the headlines will only worsen.

You pass the rest of the pen and wobble back to your motorhome. Much to your surprise, Carlos waits there, a towel slung over his shoulder. Like Seb, he notices the dull, dry pain written on your eyes.

Unlike Seb, he doesn’t leave the issue alone. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you say. You and Carlos have always been close, harboring the same age gap as he and Charles but a more levelheaded relationship. “Are we celebrating tonight?”

“You definitely aren’t with the way you’re walking,” he says pointedly. “En serio?”

“I said nothing,” you say, sharpening your voice. “Leave it.”

He follows you slowly, until you’re both isolated by the door of your room. It’s quiet when you let him in, your irritance and standoffish behavior still evident.

He tries again, because if he’s learned anything from years of knowing and loving you, it’s that you’re a truly stubborn son of a bitch. “Tell me,” he says, solemn. His loud mood always tones down with you, not because you bore him, but because he feels more comfortable with himself.

Inversely, you’re always louder around him, more bubbly, unlike your typically stoic self. It’s the kind of connection neither of you can label, or explain. It’s the both of you, always. “I think my leg’s injured,” you say, letting the confession leave you in one breathless sentence. “It really, really hurts, Carlos.”

You lean against the wall and exhale. “I’ll get it checked,” you tack onto it, so he doesn’t worry even more. He worries a lot. Especially with you.

“Why didn’t you say anything at first,” he says, voice aghast with concern. He mumbles something in Spanish. When he’s caught in fits of emotion, you notice, his English is always the first to go.

“It wouldn’t have been taken seriously,” you reason, wincing. “I never am.”

“Fuck that,” he says. “You need to say these things.”

“Carlos,” you say. 

He takes his hand in yours. “You make me worry. I worry.”

You nod along, gripping his hand with whatever energy you have left. You know as early as now that you’ll be okay, that this annoying leg will be taped up and rested tonight, because that’s Carlos—always caring, always there. You have so much of him in your heart.

There’s a glimmer of something there, just in the undergrowth. You can’t wait to find out what it is.

[naughtybg3confessions]

(Not a confession.) I've been working out submissions for the trans day, and there was also an interesting discussion on the topic on r/okbuddybaldur, and I've been wondering - where do you think the line is drawn between 'naughty confessions' and 'fetishization'? I'm trans (transmasc-leaning NB), I have trans hcs, many of them are smutty, I find them hot, trans people ARE hot! We are! But is there a point where it just becomes fetishistic?

Related, what about stereotyping? Tall, buff transfem Karlach, or slender, pretty transmasc Astarion, for instance (which I genuinely do love, especially together). Questionable if you're ONLY going with the more stereotypical view (ie. 'Shadowheart is small and fem and definitely cis, Karlach is tall and butch and definitely trans'), or questionable at any time?

(Relatedly, this comes up in the discussion on Reddit - someone shared their frustration with always seeing Aylin as trans and Isobel as cis, and shared their frankly incredible trans Isobel headcanon.)

Not at all trying to start Disk Horse or anything, just a trans fan writing up submissions and overthinking things. Have an excellent day!

Well let me start by saying that I'm cis, and not exactly an authority on this subject. I have no magical way of knowing where all our confessions are coming from, but I do have some safeguards in place to reduce harm.

First of all, confessions that fetishize real life groups of people are strictly not allowed in our rules. It's up to my own discernment (and that of our followers) what constitutes that, but generally any use of slurs or reinforcing negative stereotypes is a clear tip off. If someone is making trans folk out to be freaks or fetishizing things about them that belittle their gender identity, that's obviously a no go. But so far, no one has said that. There was one confession sexualizing dysphoria that towed the line for me, but my gut told me the submitter was trans themselves and simply had a humiliation kink. Which they later confirmed!

Not speaking for the fandom at large, but on this blog at least it seems like all the characters are "transed" pretty much equally, from Shadowheart to Halsin. With the exception of Gortash, who seems to get the lion's share of those confessions, but that doesn't ring any alarm bells to me.

I certainly wouldn't want to disallow trans hcs for any particular character. After all, it is a fact of life that some cis women are big and tall, and so are some trans women. Should they be excluded from being found attractive just because of a few bad eggs? But I'm always happy to see more variety, thought, and creativity put into confessions overall. Y'all are certainly encouraged to break the mold around here.

I do my best to use my best judgement in moderating confessions so that everyone feels safe and welcome here. But I'm not perfect, so if anything ever slips through the cracks I won't hesitate to listen to our trans followers, remove the confession and learn from the experience. Should that ever happen, I may ask the anon to clarify their intentions as well, as sometimes people just phrase things unintentionally poorly (Hanlon's razor and all that).

Anyways, I hope that answer was satisfactory, it's an interesting and nuanced topic to be sure. And I bid thee an excellent day as well!