#if you think you want to ask about The Subject no you dont you really really dont want to know

[whorrorbvby]

an update:

hey friends a lot of people have been asking where ive been on other socials and im sorry for being m.i.a and ignoring everyone’s worries. im not getting into it right now and i dont know if i want to talk about the details publicly. 

i deleted tumblr from my phone about two and a half weeks ago and ive had a friend keeping a queue going on main for me. it might be that way permanently now i don’t know. I don’t know that I want to come back to tumblr if im being honest. a lot of things happened and i just can’t handle seeing certain people anymore so i’ve been hanging out on two of the more safer socials where tumblr people people generally leave me alone. not that im upset with you any of you or anything it’s more of a personal relationship and it just turned me off of basically everything and i just can’t handle a lot right now.  

i didn’t want to stop posting my own content for obvious reasons but i really can’t bring myself to come back it’s too hard and my heart can’t handle it right now. i also haven’t taken any new photos or anything and as of right now i don’t really feel super comfortable in sharing my body in that way. situations have made me feel disgusting as a person and i can’t look at myself. im trying to post more on ig to boost myself back up but i don’t know my self image is kind of ruined now. plus i’ve lost 15lbs from stress and inability to eat because of it and with how many people already harass and bully me for how scrawny i am i don’t want to subject myself in my current mental state to even the possibility of anyone saying anything. 

but like i said i have a friend running main for me and i might have them run this account too and my pepper page just because i do want to go back to making content i just dont know if i can handle posting or being in certain spaces right now. 

on top of what im currently dealing with in my personal life this is just a really hard time for me in general because of the holiday season and close to the anniversary of my best friends death so i tend to shut down a little anyway it’s just my entire world came crashing down again and im honestly starting to give up on even existing. i know im being melodramatic and i need to suck it up and just go back to status quo it’s just really hard this time and i cant force myself into a positive headspace like i used to even for a second. i have honestly never felt this empty and i barely know who i am or what my worth is anymore. 

i dont know if i’ll turn my asks back on. my friend offered to answer anything for me but its better for my mental health if i dont because i know people will ask questions and i dont trust myself to not completely go off on a tangent. im sorry i know im rambling but i feel like a proper update with zero room for misunderstanding is needed and i dont want to sugarcoat or lie to any of you to make myself seem or feel better cuz i respect the hell out of you guys and you deserve honesty if for nothing else. and i appreciate so fucking much you all continuing to support me and hype me up through all the bullshit life keeps throwing at me. 

im mostly on ig and threads right now and on threads im talking about games and movies with new people im meeting and it’s been really helping through shit. if you follow me on snap you saw me say im thinking about deleting everything. my accounts are still up and as long as my friend still wants to help me out i’ll at least have a queue running on main but i’ve deleted every social app other than ig and threads. i wholeheartedly planned on deleting snap last night but it’s the only way some of you get any updates from me so for now i wont delete it but i might make a new one instead just to get away from situations that are bringing me down. we’ll see. if I make a new snap i’ll post it everywhere n put it in my bios. that being said i don’t have a private/nsfw snap and i wont make one im sorry. i still wont sell content outside of what i post on peppers and i wont do customs im sorry. maybe in the future but right now i need to focus on myself and getting out of this headspace before i do anything else. 

but truly thank you for sticking with me and just genuinely being the best crew around. i promise to try my best to get out of this mess of a headspace im in as quickly as possible and im really sorry for basically abandoning everything again but i really am hopeful for the future and just trying to focus on myself and my happiness at the moment 🙏🏻🧡

[broh3m3]

I love your art style, especially how energetic it is! How did your art style get such dynamic lines? Do you have any tips/advice/ideas on how to do that?

Thank you! Um... I'm not sure how to go about it, but I’ll try and give some tips on line confidence. I think my main advice would be to not let your sketch box you in- keeping it at a really low opacity so that your eyes don’t get used to seeing it with your line art when you draw over it (having your sketch opacity too high can give a different impression of your line work), leaving room to exaggerate or play around with fresh lines in the next phase.. It’s easier to do when you’re confident in your subject, so the sketch should be stable enough to convey that, but have fun with the process otherwise! For me, good line art comes out when I’m actively finding ways to build off the sketch’s energy while lining it, not when I’m trying to limit myself to it/already 100% happy with what it provides.

Here's a bit of a visualization! When going from the sketch to the line art, I was thinking that I could improve the flow of the cape, so I made the upper part less flat and balanced its curve with the bottom to keep the energy flowing. The slope of Kalim's pose could balance the curve of Jamil's sarouel, so I leaned into that when putting down the lines for Kalim's. Meanwhile having some areas be more linear helps give contrast. Line of action, straights against curves, etc. (I think this is delving more into gestural talk now) I'd recommend studying artists whose linework you enjoy too! Kaisen_Tobiuo was-and still is- a big inspiration of mine growing up for how expressive their works and line art felt. Also study naruto fanartists they're cracked It ended up being a bit of a ramble, but I hope this could help op!

[gibbearish]

btw its interesting the way james tries to imply that like. well the videos that have plagiarism are the ones our dumb stupid annoying patrons requested about bad topics that didnt deserve to have the effort put in to covering them well so basically its fine. like obv thats interesting on its own but moreso the fact that he doesnt actually /say/ it, or like. give a list of the videos hes referring to, just says "those videos are very clear on which ones they were" i think as a nod meaning like "yknow the ones everyones talking about". unless what hes meaning is that like they put a note in certain videos saying "this video was requested by a patron, we here at james somertom incorporated do not espouse these views" which seems unlikely to me. idk methinks maybe it's because there is indeed a lot more than people think and with all the buzz he's not sure which ones have been discovered yet or not, so putting down a solid list that missed some would look like he was still hiding things whereas putting down a fully sourced list would be admitting to wayyyy more than anyone's found yet

[boxwinebaddie]

hi uncle neen! in honor of freckle kyle becoming canon, does jers have freckles? <3

yES!!!!! YES HE DOES!!!!

YES!!!! HE!!! DOOOOOOES!!!!

hooooooly shit, oh My GOD, i am so sorry for being FERAL, you guys, but when i tell you that i have been WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION!

because jerseykyle does not just 'have freckles'.

obviously, everyone's kyle is different and i think a lot of people hc kyle having a nice light smattering over his nose, some light ones on his cheeks, neck and shoulders, which, again, i think is so lovely, i love when kyle has freckles, i think that is a perfect hc, tbh.

bUT JERSEYKYLE??????

JERSEYKYLE HAS FRECKLES.

for days and weeks and months and YEARS!!!!!!

anyways, follow me under the cut if you want my yelling.

okay, so, i wasn't sure how to explain this, but if we don't know, my embarrassing uncle nina lore is that in mid-highschool i used to tumblr rpg often which required the use of faceclaims or irl actors and models so i actually have...a surprising depth and wealth of knowledge when it comes specifically to models/supermodels so...

this is cintia dicker. X / X / X

( yes she is beautiful )

JERSEYKYLE HAS CINTIA DICKER FRECKLES.

like aaaaaalll OVER his damn face. like jersey be dominating boys in the bedroom, but those freckles be DOMINATING HIS FACE, BABY! like light ones, dark ones, idk, but they are fucking everywhere, all over his face, his neck, his arms, his legs, his chest,

EVERYWHERE.

which...Whew. he is sooooo pretty. it is seriously striking like he looks like pale pink sky with a blizzard of amber sparkles on his face. it's so wonderful, like jersey kyle please model for VOGUE. he is that bitch, he is freckly as damn hell, there are HUNDREDS, possibly thousands.

i might be exaggerating...

BUT I NEED YOU TO KNOW HES FRECKLY AS FUCK.

which...he was very embarrassed about for a long time. to this day, it is a large point of insecurity for him bc he feels really weird about them and considered using foundation to cover them up because of how strange and messy he thinks they make his face look because of the way society used to treat them, like they made his face look dirty or imperfect or ugly and AAAAAA OKAY!

so throwback ( as in i want to throw that man off a cliff and run over him several times w/ the barbie jeep i don't know how to drive ) when rm cartman said jers looked like he was 'speckled with shit'. :(((

it made kyle morbidly depressed/insecure to the point where he wanted to rip the skin off his face, but then stan told him that his mom said 'freckles are places where you've been kissed by the sun' and that ky must be 'the sun's favorite' bc he's been kissed so many times and he's trying to catch up…

WHEN I TELL U HE SWOOONED.

ravenstanley marsh, ceo of simping for freckly boys.

speaking of, so one time, i think they were watching a movie and stan was, uh, not watching the movie, he was literally watching jerseykyle. and kyle was like "what are you doing, dummy? is there something on my face?" and ironically stan shook his head and said "yeah, but they're fine where they are..." then trailed off in thought, still intently staring at kyle with Extreme Laser Focus.

and normally, kyle is used to people staring at him, y'know, bc he's fine as hell and really tall, that doesn't really phase him, but ravenstan staring at him makes him SUPER nervous, awkward and flustered, so he's like -anxious laugh- "seriously, dude, what are you do—“ and stan's like "shh" ( in a not condescending, loving way )

"i'm trying to count."

jerseykyle furrows his lovely auburn brow, trying to figure out what he's talking about, realizes what's going on, but still literally in shock, laughs again, because he thinks stan must be joking and goes "oh my gahd, are tryna count my freckles? stan's literally imposs--" and stan shushes again him in a gentle manner and is like "shh, i need to focus. quit distracting me, you're gonna make me lose my place."

literally on his face, counting kyle's, i shit you not, probably over 100 freckles, which i think is soooo fucking CUTE of him because he's literally swimming against the deadly current of his adhd, forcing everything in his constantly fidgeting body to focus so that he can keep count. it's a truly beautiful thing watching r.s.' brain whir and his pretty blue eyes narrow and widen, counting softly under his breath.

ravenstan does, unfortunately, find he can't count them all because like jersey said, it is a pretty damn near impossible task...that did NOT however, stop him from trying multiple times, the last time though, he didn't actually lose count, kyle just kissed the FUCK out of him because it was literally the loveliest thing he'd ever seen.

he did possibly get laid for that, i'm sorry.

but yeah FRECKLE SUPREMACY KYLE AND SPECIFICALLY JERS. that man has so many freckles that his body looks like the night sky on a perfectly clear day, it is...beautiful. it is a work of damn ART.

anyways...i'm done now.

do we see the vision ( of loveliness )

that is jew jersey kyle matthew BROFRECKLOVSKI????

-uncle nina, feral about extremely freckly jersey

p.s. ravenstan, as a man of justice for all and fairness, basically loves all of kyle's one hundred thousand million freckles equally but there is a darker one that is just above the right curve of his lip...THAT IS HIS FAVORITE FRECKLE, I AM SO SORRY IT IS THE EQUIVALENT OF THE RAVENSTAN RIGHT UNDER EYE BEAUTY MARK BUT FOR STAN LIKE HE IS FEEEERAL ABOUT IT. he does...give it a special kiss often...very gay of him. his second favorite freckle is...

anyways!

Next Question. <3

[hella1975]

what do you plan to do with your degree after uni?

FUCK NASTY!!!

[baconcolacan]

Nah same with the tomtord, I've seen alot of people hate on it and seen some VERY mentally ill fanfics, but I usually just take a step back, remind myself that, I will never harass the creators, I like the show even without the ships, I will never write some messed up shit like (kid x adult of the characters),,,

And it's not annoying Dan! You're just sharing something your passionate about and we are all here for that and for you, 🫂

[p2iimon]

drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me

[bitegore]

Genuinely fucking batshit how some people will act as though the bare minimum level of care + respect for the people around them with different problems is like, an insurmountable fucking bar

[brutal-nemesis]

today's writing report:

-wrote two words

-received texts about T̶̼̱̬̩̦̣̫̱͔̥͗̌͗̎̀͋̈́͗͂h̸̩͙͐̓̕ë̴͍̖̦̜̫͈́̈́̏̉ ̵̡̜͙̞͌̆̍͛̌͠Ụ̵̢̥͕̘̗̰̦͚̀̄n̴͇̒ş̴͈̹͙̻͐̉̾̎́̈̋͗͂̕ͅp̷̝̎͐̿́͐͊͆͜e̸̻̗͙͖̽̈́͐̑͌̋��̦̗̜ả̴̼̖̰̀̊́͑̓̅̕ḵ̷́̅a̸̙̯͕͈̜̱̒̒b̴̼̭̻̱̑̆̈̽̒͆͗l̵̢͓̥̰̙̐̏̈̅̉̅̉͜͠ͅe̸̩͖͕̬͓̹̣̠̠͍̊̂̉͒̕ ̷̧͇͍͉͈͊͋̉́̄̓̎ͅS̶̪̖̺̬͇̦̩̞͊͊ͅụ̵̦̬̫̺̄̈́͋̑͑͌̒̿͝b̸̢̰͓̫̩͖̱͆͆͊j̶̡̢̳̰͓͔̻̇͆̆͗͌̌ẹ̵͖͓͓̫͙̫͇͗͗̈́̋͛͒͜ć̴̨̖̗̺͙̱̳̫̣ẗ̶͈͔̟̳̑̀̆̋

-my soul died and not even excessive gore can help me

-save me anime anime save me

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Delete this if it's weird but your post about naming your blog after one of the royals guards from hxh reminded me of something. So I am part of a DID system and some of the alters have many traits/appearance of my abusers, including some with the same names. They'd do things that were harmful as a way of keeping everyone safe. Anyways, recently our host watched hxh and one of those parts really connected with Neferpitou going from this absolutely inhumane monster of sorts to slowly learning how empathy and compassion works and has now changed their name from their original name of our abuser they're based off to Pitou instead now. Anyways I'm happy for them and just wanted to share that with ya

I held onto this ask for a while bc I was debating how detailed I wanted my response to be, but I think this is a story I've been wanting to tell for a while and if there was ever a time to fully discuss this, it would be here; the naming and themeing extends to myself as well as my blog - I do go by the name Shai irl, though I'm a little picky with where I choose to use it over the name I've had for longer (Rigel). Before I go into any more detail, I want to congratulate you for that development! It sounds like a moment of positive growth, and I'm glad you got to experience that.

The short answer is that I've basically taken my experiences with dissociation and something that may be multiplicity and fully redirected it all into a sense of spirituality. My therapist had encouraged me to not pathologize it; I was just hammering at my own personal experiences and being fixated on feeling like something was wrong with me and needed to be fixed - normal people don't experience thoughts and feelings that don't belong to them. With that being said, a large part of my recovery work was/is with acceptance; I was forced to mask a lot of things while growing up (autism, physical disability, queerness, etc) and there was a huge push from my family to seem as "normal" as possible, and now I'm actively undoing that and my work with being in the otherkin community is a massive cornerstone of that work. I identified very heavily with shaiapouf and my therapist actually watched hxh so we could use pouf as a therapy tool for me. Me naming myself after him is a huge gesture of the love I was able to give myself via my coping process - recognizing him in my trauma, and working with him to recover.

The longer answer is that I've experienced dissociation that leans towards multiplicity for a number of years now, with aforementioned thoughts and feelings included. I never had any memory loss, and the experience of another person being with me wasn't well developed enough for the definition of an alter, so I felt stuck with an experience I had no words for and no way of relating to other people with similar experiences. I remember describing it as feeling possessed, like there was suddenly another consciousness present with my own. These experiences are a lot less intense now, and I attribute that to my acceptance of them instead of pushing them away in fear. It was a while before I said anything to my therapist and was genuinely mortified because it felt like something was very seriously wrong with me and I had to fix it at all costs (with the idea of needing to "fix" things that were "wrong" with me or my life being a repeating theme as well).

Over time, as I stopped pushing everything away, I was able to start seeing where the emotions and thoughts that came with the episodes (not necessarily triggering them) were coming from, but still struggled to accept them as my own when they felt so foreign. Acceptance has brought me a long way and we've now teased out that this is a massive way for me to process not just my trauma, but the grief accompanying it.

My therapist was the one who had initially suggested I take a spiritual approach to this, and I found that in the otherkin community, where, upon actually looking at the original contexts of some of the words used in the community, found things I'd been describing to my therapist over a year ago. I'd prior been fond of the idea of reincarnation and fully embraced it in this process. My first (and so far only) tattoo is of his wings, I'll carry him with me for the rest of my life; I derived one of my names from his own. This character has been highly influential in my life and I've fully embraced him for it. He means a lot of things to me - reflection of my own trauma, the power and rage I wish I could have demonstrated while in the process of being traumatized, the delicate masculinity I wish to have as a trans man, and much more I'm sure. A lot of my episodes seem to happen when helplessness kicks in, like something to help distance myself from my pain; I feel him in righteous fury when I know I deserve better. Not all of it is bad though, I had one while I was looking at Christmas lights a few months ago and felt like I was looking at the world for the first time, simple delight as if holding someone else's hand and showing them.

All in all, I thank you for sharing your story and for giving me a place to share some of mine.

[permanentreverie]

6/11/28!! for the asks

6) 3 characters that inspire you: Jo March in Little Women, Anne Shirley in AOGG, Eliza Schuyler in Hamilton

11) 3 books that you would recommend everyone to read: oooh that's a hard one, since I don't truly believe in the 'books to read before you die' since everyone has different tastes, but I'd recommend If You Could See The Sun by Jandy Nelson, The Giver by Louis Lowry, and Animal Farm by George Orwell (special mentions are Pachinko by Min-Jin Lee, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaleed Hosseini, and My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell)

28) 3 things you love cooking/baking: chicken soup, stir fry, and cookies <3

3 things asks

[mrfoox]

Talking with Fabian and whooooooooo boy that was an conversation and a half...

[bloodyarson]

not to derail but i think the reason why american english is so easy to learn and to speak for a lot of people is exactly because correct enunciation doesn't matter one bit really. as long as you make a noise that has the right vowels and kinda similar consonants people will understand what you're saying 90% of the time. and so i think, other than imperialism of course, this is one of the reasons why english is everyone in the world's "common tongue" now. even with a really thick accent english is still understandable, way more than most other majorly spoken languages. i mean, just fucking take a listen to french! or don't actually unless you want your ears to start bleeding.

so yeah in conclusion i think the reason why english is the language everyone learns and communicates in is because of this specific lack of a need to properly pronounce things, making it so much easier than most other languages for non native speakers. :)

americans be like i’m looking at myself in the meer

[fredlikesbreakfast]

"I think you're comfort eating because you're scared :(" shut up, i'm regular eating because im regular hungry, a feeling people feel

[aquaslove]

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[dandy-lad]

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