#literally she admonished me multiple times for not being at my post when i was at a distance where
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bloodyarson · 2 years ago
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not to derail but i think the reason why american english is so easy to learn and to speak for a lot of people is exactly because correct enunciation doesn't matter one bit really. as long as you make a noise that has the right vowels and kinda similar consonants people will understand what you're saying 90% of the time. and so i think, other than imperialism of course, this is one of the reasons why english is everyone in the world's "common tongue" now. even with a really thick accent english is still understandable, way more than most other majorly spoken languages. i mean, just fucking take a listen to french! or don't actually unless you want your ears to start bleeding.
so yeah in conclusion i think the reason why english is the language everyone learns and communicates in is because of this specific lack of a need to properly pronounce things, making it so much easier than most other languages for non native speakers. :)
americans be like i’m looking at myself in the meer
#this is absolutely accurate#sometimes we make fun of ourselves for this kind of terrible enunciation with my wife#i think the last one is the best really the way could you becomes coodjyu and what you becomes wotchu#it's so funny#where do the dj and tch sounds come from!! it's a d and a t!!#anyway yeah to speak english you can literally just mumble something that kinda sounds like a word and ppl will get it most of the time#also on a totally different subject i FUCKING HATE french#especially french spoken with an actual french accent#quebecois french is kinda bearable but I wouldn't say i like it#but french french makes me want to commit murder as soon as i hear someone speaking it#it sounds so fucking pretentious and dumb oh my gooood i hate it so much#i don't really know why to be honest it's a purely instinctual reaction of rage that happens when i hear it#also not only does a french french accent sound terrible the expressions they use in france are SO fucking cringe#at one of my previous jobs i had a coworker who had recently immigrated from france and listening to her was TORTURE#she would use the dumbest fucking expressions to say things everytime she did that i wanted to be struck by lightning#like she called work ''le boulot'' instead of ''le travail'' or ''la job''#NO ONE in quebec uses the word boulot!!!!#NO ONE I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT NO ONE CALLS IT THAT#it just sounds so fucking bad when you hear that man i dont know why i hate it so much but i do i just can't stand it#working with her was just non stop stuff like this and my ears were bleeding the entire time#and the cherry on top is that i suspect that it was that coworker specifically who went to snitch and lie about me sending rude texts#about our boss#which is why i got fired despite being good at my job and getting along with all the rest of my coworkers except that manager#who's had it out for me since the first day i stepped into the store#she spent a week deadnaming me for example when everyone else called me by my chosen name from the moment i asked them to#and she seemed to always have a problem with everything i did even when what i was doing was something i had been asked to do#by someone in a position higher than hers lmao#her favorite thing was yelling at me that i wasn't at my register whenever i dared to step further than 3 feet from it#literally she admonished me multiple times for not being at my post when i was at a distance where#i could touch the counter by simply lifting my arm and reaching for it
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tangsakura · 2 years ago
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To Kill Alone, Or First Come, First Kill ー What You Missed On That Panel In Chapter 371 Of Hunter x Hunter
Hello, hello. I'm back for a bit. I got obssessed over a romance-fantasy Korean manhwa/novel series I recently found, so I kinda went MIA........
Anyway, last time I talked about chapter 371 - well more like rambling about Viz Media and their translation. Today, I'm gonna talk about chapter 371, sharing with you insights from a Japanese blog I found earlier this month and my input. Post continues under the cut.
Warnings: if you haven’t read chapter 371 of Hunter x Hunter, then it’s gonna be spoiler so don’t go any further if that's the case; bad grammar; unedited; typos.
So I was searching for Japanese kuromachi content blogs and then I found this Japanese blog talking about the conversation between Chrollo and Machi in Chapter 371.
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Hunter x Hunter Chapter 371
So apparently there are two ways to read this panel.
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Hunter x Hunter Chapter 371
One is the N reading and the other is the S reading.
But before I go any further, let me clarify two things here:
無理 (muri) - literally means 'impossible.' So in official tl, they tl-ed this as 'No.' I think the closest they should've tl-ed this as 'No way,' since it's closer to 'impossible.' But yeah, it means 'impossible.'
駄目 (dame) - This is difficult to translate directly; this is one of those words that has multiple. Official tl is 'No.' It's not completely wrong, but keep in mind that it has a connotation of 'it won't do' or it's used in the context of 'it is not allowed, so no.' That's why a lot of times you can see this translated as 'Don't', 'it's not working', 'it's no good', 'you can't', 'it won't do', 'not allowed' and etc.
Keep in mind that [] indicates the katakana word, which is also not said in the conversation. I talked about this in my previous chapter 371 post when mangakas use kanji, katakana or hiragana to clarify the meaning behind what is being said by the characters.
So I hoped I was able to lay down the foundation for those words. Please use google if you want to dive deeper into those words I listed.
Anyways, let's dive deep into the ways to read this panel.
N-Reading
First, let's start with the way of reading it like the letter N.
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If we go with this way, the conversation between Machi and Chrollo will look like this:
Machi: That guy [Hisoka].... I'll kill him.
Chrollo: Not possible, okay. / No way, okay.
Machi: ......The person who's fast wins. The person who would find him kills him.
Chrollo: No, you can't. / No, it won't do.
The Japanese blogger said that Chrollo in this scenario or type of reading looked like admonishing Machi, and Machi kept insisting that she should be the one to kill Hisoka no matter what.
I agree because he sounds like he's preventing her from endangering herself by going after Hisoka and others the through her idea of a hunt.
But the blogger also pointed out that Chrollo saying 「無理だね」 ('Not possible, okay.' part) in an assertive way is weird and it is also weird that he said this, because Chrollo said in the next panel:
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「それこそ無理だ」
This can be translated along the lines of 'That very method is not possible.'
Remember that in this type of reading, he said 'Not possible' to Machi when she said she'll be the one to kill Hisoka. Then he said that line to Machi, who insisted that they should do the usual way, the coin flipping, which made it somewhat contradictory. He deemed it impossible for Machi to go after Hisoka in an assertive tone, then in the next he sees the coin flipping as the only thing that's impossible. So, in Japanese, this scene surely must've created confusion.
I would like to also add that by following this type of reading, the information we gather from this scene contradicts the future event, where Chrollo and the Spiders split up to hunt for Hisoka. It's interesting since this is the method that Viz Media followed........
S-reading:
So the other way to read this is the S-way.
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By following this method, we can read their conversation as follows:
Machi: That guy [Hisoka].... I'll kill him.
Chrollo: ......The person who's fast wins. The person who would find him kills him.
Machi: Not possible, okay. / No way, okay.
Chrollo: That (This) won't do. / That's (This is) no good.
So obviously the tone and atmosphere became significantly different. The tension and desperation are much stronger. Here, both Machi and Chrollo are desperate to kill Hisoka in their own way. For Machi, by herself, and for Chrollo, a hunt. They both want to do it in their own ways and refused to give them up. It came to the point that Machi was overriding Chrollo's authority. (Is this the right wording?.....)
But, as the blogger also pointed out, isn't the transition from 「無理だね」 to 「駄目だ」 funky? In English, at least from how I translated them, it may not be the case, but in Japanese, it's awkward. But the blogger suggested to understand the context, especially on Machi's side.
Machi was bungee gum'd by Hisoka, and also got betrayed and yeeted by him. Shalnark and Kortopi got killed because she had her guard down and didn't inform them of his resurrection. Now, she's desperate to have him killed with her own hands.
Chrollo, on the other hand, knows about their deaths and has an idea of what had transpired. He's also desperate to kill Hisoka, not only as an offering to his dead comrades, but also to finish what he had started, albeit being cool-headed and rational. The line 「駄目だ」 may also imply that Chrollo is telling Machi to not be selfish, according to the blogger.
They also suggested that if we go by this reading, Machi saying 「無理だね」 implies one if the following:
Lack of confidence: She opposed Chrollo's proposition and they wondered if she wasn't confident in finding Hisoka quickly or if she was doubting her strength.
Hunch: They wondered if Machi saying that line means that going after Hisoka in a first come, first served basis will fail as there's no way that the Troupe members can kill Hisoka.
Personally, I'm vouching for the latter since I think Machi can convey her hunches implicitly through her responses. Remember in Greed Island, when Hisoka asked, 'What if I kill him (Chrollo)........?' She said along the lines of, 'That's not possible, you know.' And we know what happened in the Hisoka vs. Chrollo.
Plus, Machi may also be saying that line to prevent others from getting caught by Hisoka like how Shalnark and Kortopi did.
Also if you notice, that line is in an assertive tone and the blogger noted that it's conveying that Machi is 'remembering her resentment to the point that it couldn't be helped.'
In addition, this way of reading makes sense because it connects to the future events, where the Spiders are on the hunt for Hisoka in the boat, much more smoothly.
I root for the S-reading a lot more than the N one. It just makes much more sense. The blogger think so, too.
Anyways, that's it from me. Let me know what you think is the best way to read this scene.
Until then.
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jewishbarbies · 3 years ago
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Genuine question, why don't you like Tony Stark? Not trying to be rude, just genuinely curious and wanting another perspective.
just a quick note: what i’m saying below is directed at tonky, not at you, this is just me expressing my disgust for the character and not meant to be taken personally by anyone. also, if you’d like sources and visual rep for my claims, watch this video i put together here.
both mcu AND comics tony stark are arrogant, selfish, war profiteering assholes who benefit from and take no responsibility for the deaths of a LOT of people (comics tony is even to blame for the deaths of heroes during civil war, including almost spider-man), and my “#anti tony stark” tag has a lot of posts from other people who explain a lot of my points in depth, if you’d like more info on certain specifics.
[i’m making a list and checking it twice below the cut because this list is LONG]
tony inherited his father’s company at 21 (old enough and -canonically- smart enough to know better already) and immediately started IMPROVING the weapons, yet claimed later he somehow didn’t know “what the weapons were capable of in the wrong hands” (still maintaining that the us military is somehow the “right hands” for his weapons) and that he “shut it down, stopped manufacturing” even though he continued to build the iron man suit, the iron legion, pepper’s suit, rhodey’s suit, a suit for peter, and also ULTRON. so, he’s a hypocrite and liar of monstrous proportions.
he claimed howard being apart of the manhattan project was being a “hero”, agreed with howard when he said peace was “having a bigger stick than the other guy”, and claimed that the best weapon was the one you “only have to fire once”, all while arab people referred to him as “the merchant of death” and claimed whoever owned stark tech “controlled the middle east”. his “come to jesus” moment was when his weapons finally effected him personally.
he blackmailed A CHILD into a war/fight he had no real knowledge of (peter says all tony told him was that steve would say he was in the right even though they were wrong, which is shady and irresponsible af) by taking advantage of his position of power/influence and involved the child without telling his legal guardian and then left the child in the hands of his driver?? assistant?? whatever tf happy is at this point and STILL didn’t tell his legal guardian. he then gave said child weapons of mass destruction when the child had NO training whatsoever, then admonished the child when the child misused them, and never took responsibility.
he has consistently sexually harassed multiple women, including while he was officially dating pepper. treating natasha like a piece of meat? googling sexual photos of her alias when he’d JUST met her? saying “I want one’? pepper had to remind him he could face a “very expensive sexual harassment lawsuit” and he still didn’t stop because he didn’t care. he couldn’t give a straight answer to any of christine everhart’s questions when being interviewed because he was too busy trying to get into her pants. he even asked happy “is she hot?” and only turned around when happy nodded yes, so he wasn’t going to speak to her or even LOOK in her direction until it was confirmed that she was sexually attractive enough. he sexual objectified aunt may as well (IN FRONT OF AND TO PETER WTF) multiple times in a single interaction.
tony literally told steve he was fighting for the accords because he wanted his girlfriend back. enough said. but on a much more real note, he used the death of (1) AMERICAN teen killed by ultron to justify the accords because “we need to be put in check” when the direct cause for ultron was tony and bruce, bruce of which being the only person who felt remorse and expressed regret. meanwhile tony was barking at the avengers that they didn’t “get why they needed [ultron]”. funny enough, tony admits later that ultron was his fault during civil war. “and then ultron. my fault.” of course, he’s saying this while trying to convince steve to sign, and explaining he wants the accords to “split the difference” and convince his girlfriend to take him back.
he put his “best friend” rhodey in very real danger by making a transphobic joke at his expense IN FRONT OF OTHER SOLDIERS during “don’t ask don’t tell”. i really shouldn’t have to say more here. and the fact that rdj improvised that? gtfo. he also made a sexist AND transphobic joke or two about a female soldier when in transit before the convoy is attacked, claiming he “couldn’t tell” she was a woman. i don’t have a link for it but it’s in the first like 10-20 minutes of iron man 1.
his nicknames for everyone he interacts with are insensitive and often target the person’s trauma (ie. “manchurian canidate” for bucky, fucking “capsicle” for steve???) and made comments like “they should have left him in the ice” during avengers when steve had been thawed out (1) movie prior. his “everything special about you came out of a bottle” line, propping himself up with “billionaire, playboy, philanthropist” as if that means anything to anyone present. constantly trying to FORCE bruce to let out the hulk with no regard to anyone’s safety, much less bruce’s.
he claims he hates his father and never once mentioned his mother in any way, and the stans claim howard was an abusive dad, making literally thousands of fics about his “abuse”, and then tony is somehow upset that his father was murdered by bucky, when the nickname HE GAVE BUCKY is because bucky was being used against his will and tony knew that before bucky had ever escaped custody. he had full prior knowledge of this AND that it was hydra that was controlling bucky, yet continued to attempt to outright murder both bucky AND captain fucking america and then demanded the shield from steve because howard made it (for steve so...wtf) because steve “didn’t deserve it”. make it make sense.
he shot sam wilson nearly point blank in the chest after rhodey was shot out of the sky by HIS OWN TEAM and sam dove to help, but was too late.
stark weapons killed wanda’s and pietro’s parents, driving them to join hydra in order to get back at him, and tony calls her a “weapon of mass destruction” and keeps her under forced house arrest “to protect her” loooong after the twins joined the “good side”. then when she was arrested, wanda was put in a straight jacket and electric collar in a cell in the raft.
HE INTENTIONALLY REVEALED CLINT’S SECRET FAMILY TO THE GOVERNMENT ACTIVELY HUNTING CLINT’S ALLIES, FORCING CLINT TO MAKE A DEAL WITH THE GOVERNMENT IN ORDER TO KEEP THEM SAFE. TONY DID THIS UNPROMPTED. UNPROVOKED. THERE WAS NO REASON FOR THIS.
tony refused to help when asked after the snap because he had what he wanted and the billions of other families with missing people weren’t worth his (1) child, when he wouldn’t even have to change that, just use the stones to bring all the missing people back. his wife had to CONVINCE him to help. when he gets off the plane he says “I lost the kid” (a kid that wasn’t his and was only involved BECAUSE of him) and steve says “WE lost...”. in conclusion, selfish prick.
these are all the main reasons i can think of right now.
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nopelleen · 3 years ago
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Perish, Pretty Please (5/5)
ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Rick Flag was known to be a pretty good leader, it was the reason why he had been chosen to lead a squad of infamously reckless and idiotic criminals, however it was a lot harder to maintain his authority when one member of the team despised his guts for seemingly no reason.
ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Rick Flag x Reader
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 5.7k
ɴᴏᴛᴇ: it took me so long, but it’s finally there -- the last part! I started this fanfiction knowing I had a tendency not to finish them and I’m honestly so proud right now, I hope you’ll enjoy this last part as much as I enjoyed writing all of this! (also please let’s all have a moment of silence to remember the moment my hopeful, foolish ass actually posted the first part with “1/2″ in the title)
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“Nope, there’s something we gotta take care of first."
You watched with blatant bafflement as the three men nonchalantly walked away from the blazing truck that had been transporting them merely minutes ago. There was almost a bit of disappointment in your heart as you watched the plan you and Cleo had so meticulously orchestrated on your way here vanish into thin air. It was a shame – your rescue plan involved a lot more wow factor. Had you known the outcome of this small drawback, you wouldn’t have put so much effort into it; but how could you have guessed the three of them would find a way out of a van guarded by multiples soldiers all the while handcuffed and therefore supposedly incapacitated? That was absurd.
“Don’t look so surprised, it’s insulting.”
You shot Flag a tight lipped, mocking smile as a response to his friendly jab, clearly recognizing the words you had used against him in the afternoon. Your sardonic grimace poorly mirrored the playful smirk the colonel adorned as he walked towards the van, and you were surprised to feel your heart swell a bit when you noticed his smile spread into a genuine one as he walked past you, slightly shaking his head in amusement.
Without even questioning how they had gotten themselves out of that prickly situation, you whirled around and followed suit as Rick climbed back into the van, telling Milton the small change of plan. That one enthusiastically nodded before happily informing the squad that you’d reach the city by dawn, making you realize you had spent a good chunk of the night at that bar and yet did not feel that tired yet – which might just have been from the adrenaline released into your system at the sight of your three teammates walking out of a blazing vehicle.
“You sleep, I watch Thinker,” Nanaue suggested as he heavily lumbered towards the back of the van, where the hostage was surprisingly staying very still, wise enough not to attempt anything while sharing the same space as King Shark.
Your steps faltered as you entered the van, your gaze hesitatingly flickering towards the seats in the back which appeared way too crowded for your liking. You usually would’ve simply gone back to your seat at the front, but Rick was now occupying the one near the window, probably as a way to stay close to the driver.
With a reluctant sigh, you were about to follow King Shark towards the back when Rick casted a pointed look towards you before patting the seat beside him in case you did not understand.
Relief washed over you and you didn’t even need to give it a second thought before flopping onto the space beside him, glad not to have to settle for a spot anywhere near Peacemaker. Your muscles were stiff as you quite literally bounced onto the cushion, and as soon as your back did as much as graze the backrest, the entire day of walk, hours of dancing and minutes of worrying about Flag’s well-being caught up with you with a dizzying speed.
If earlier that day you had been able to fight off sleep vigorously, you now found yourself melting into the cushion of your seat as soon as you flopped onto it. At first, you remained steadfast, refusing to yield to your basic human needs as you forced yourself to sit up straight, but then there was a strong gravitational pull making you sway a bit on your seat as your head started lolling forward, and then another pull – Rick’s hand, this time – gently steering you back into your seat. Incapable of fending off the drowsiness any longer, you surrendered and finally allowed yourself to loosen up, feeling your head snugly land upon Rick’s shoulder as you drifted off into a soundless sleep.
-----
“Outburst, hey!”
“She’s sleeping.”
From his seat at the very back of the van, Peacemaker frowned as he craned his neck in an attempt to peer at your figure still slumped over Rick’s shoulder. “Well, wake her up,” he groused, tinges of annoyance seeping from his usually polished tone. “She’s… spewing her emotions all over the place. It’s reeking of sadness in there.”
◦◦◦
“It’s reeking in there; crack a window open, will you?”
Your finger harshly jabbed the switch, your gaze remained firmly fixed on the buildings passing by in a blur as the window lowered just a bit in an abrupt, choppy motion. From the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of your mother shooting you a brief, curious look. You hadn’t uttered a word ever since you two had left the family reunion. You knew it hadn’t been a good idea to agree to come.
The car then lapsed into another uncomfortable silence. You were both acutely aware of the thick, sweltering acrimony flooding off of you and yet still refused to address it, instead letting you bask in it with your mouth clamped shut, letting it gnaw your insides until your lungs felt charred, incapable of drawing oxygen any longer.
Why had you agreed to this? You were an adult; you didn’t need to expose yourself to this anymore.
You bit the inside of your cheek and tried to breathe in deeply, only for your chest to constrict, becoming painfully hollow. Tears started brimming at the edges of your vision and you finally allowed your lips to part, letting a bated breath stumble out of them with urgency.
“I heard you earlier.”
◦◦◦
“I’m not waking her up,” Rick scowled in one curt sentence, already feeling a bit on edge and therefore not wanting to dwell on the matter.
Peacemaker’s eyebrows furrowed even deeper at Rick’s unwavering tone. He usually dealt easily with negotiation and compromises, he worked well under authority and was a suitable soldier because of it, but at the moment, he couldn’t find it in himself to be patient – maybe because of how thick with tension the atmosphere had become because of you.
“We can feel her,” he insisted again, spitting the words out in an irritated hiss.
◦◦◦
“Honey, I can feel you, tone it down,” your mother complained as she kept her eyes on the road. Either your words went completely over her head, or she refused to acknowledge them, knowing that with the amount of resentment she could feel rolling off of you in waves, there was no way a discussion could lead to a good outcome at the moment. She was already having a hard time not letting the irritation get to her in spite of the smoldering atmosphere.
“I heard you talking to aunt Matty,” you reiterated. “You said it was my fault.”
“What was?”
“Dad leaving.”
The uttered words dropped like thunder in the car, leaving the air charged with electricity.
“I didn’t say that,” she rebutted with a bit of an acerbic tone. The tension was starting to get to her, slowly but steadily eating away at her mind in spite of her resolve. She could feel the resentment seeping into her like a foreign body infiltrating her immune system, but paradoxically, the angrier she got, the less willing she was to fight it off. “Don’t twist my words, you know I hate when you do that.”
◦◦◦
“I didn’t say she wasn’t allowed to sleep,” Peacemaker clarified, starting to sound a bit agitated as the tensed atmosphere got more and more on his nerves. “I’m simply saying she shouldn’t until we are.”
“She’s not hurting anyone.”
◦◦◦
“You said I was hurting him.”
“I said he was often on the wrong end of your temper. Listen, it’s—”
“Back off!”
◦◦◦
“Back off,” Rick sternly admonished him as soon as Peacemaker made a step towards the front of the bus, protectively wrapping an arm around your sleeping form. “She needs to rest. She got shot acting as a distraction so your team could make a smooth entrance, remember?” he reminded the man scornfully.
Peacemaker’s face remained calm in spite of the irritation coloring his eyes. His gaze briefly flickered from you to Flag, hesitating.
“Don’t make me repeat myself.”
◦◦◦
“You know how you made him feel,” your mother uttered, efficiently putting an end to the exchange.
You remembered the times during which you were moody, when you came back home after having spent the entire day feeling everyone’s emotions around you, when your father did as much as try to talk to you about it, thus instantly setting you off. He was always the spark that ignited you. Whether he was inquiring about your day, or commenting on your behavior, or even just standing a bit too close to you… He’d end up angry, hurt, aggressive – whatever you were feeling at the moment, he’d always end up feeling it too.
Your mother was just wise enough to stay away.
But you also remembered the shouts in the kitchen, the jabs, the constant bickering between them. You remembered listening to it from the stairs and then being blamed for their bad tempers. You’d be blamed for the anger, the aggressiveness, the slaps that so often echoed through the house.
She was wise enough to stay away, and yet be close enough when she’d need an excuse.
“It wasn’t just me,” you whispered through gritted teeth.
“I never said it was.”
“It was you,” you spat out as you whipped your head towards her. “You made him miserable.”
Your eyes were completely focused on her face, her pursed lips and closed-off features, and never once did you notice the way her foot slowly started pressing further onto the accelerator.
◦◦◦
You woke up with a start and instantly casted a frantic gaze around you, expecting the usual blaring horns and shouts that followed this exchange. You were surprised to find yourself in a safe environment, all wrapped up in an unexpected warm, comforting atmosphere. Usually, the second you woke up, your instincts picked up on the foul aura of anguish you had unconsciously secreted into the air, and yet, here, you could feel nothing but utter peacefulness.
One of your eyebrows formed an elegant arch as you lowered your gaze to glimpse at the warm weight wrapped around you, only for your eyes to land on a familiar calloused hand hanging from your shoulder and almost grazing your cheek. You felt a faint smile tenderly pulling at the corners of your lips before even turning your head to confirm the identity of the owner of the arm wrapped around your shoulders, and when you turned your head to direct your gaze towards Flag’s sleeping face, you simply found yourself incapable to fight it off anymore.
Then, with a fond smile pulling at the corners of your lips, you snugly nestled you head back into his side and shut your eyes, this time knowing for a fact that you wouldn’t risk infuse the atmosphere with anything else than a blissful quietude.
◦◦◦
It was chaos. Utter chaos.
Your car was long abandoned a few feet away from you, fuming after having hit another vehicle in the middle of an intersection. The driver who had started fighting with you was now in a fully blown-out fist fight with another man who had merely tried to step in for you, and the more people got out of their cars to understand what was going on, the more people got trapped under your influence and started fighting, some going as far as purposefully ramming their vehicle into another’s.
Your voice was hoarse from shouting at the driver who had first attacked you and you were now trembling with anger as you watched an entire riot unfold before your very eyes, unconsciously fueling it with intense waves of rage that'd hit any innocent that'd happen to walk a bit to close to the scene.
Someone gripped your shoulder and you tried to jerk away from the touch, whirling your head towards the person with your teeth bared, ready to attack whoever was trying to get your attention.
“Honey, focus on me, alright? Focus on me.”
The voice was rough, the tone frenzied, and yet when the hands grasped your shoulders, it was with an unexpected gentleness. The fingers were quivering with restraint, barely managing not to dig into your skin in an attempt to snap you out of it.
This staggering tenderness startled you so much that it managed to take you out of your trance for a fleeting moment, allowing reason to take over as you fought back the instinctive urge to shove the hands away. With frantic, brimming eyes, you diverted your gaze towards your mother, desperate for a comforting point of focus to latch onto like a lifeline.
A sob threatened to crawl up your throat as soon as you met her eyes. There, in the midst of all the hardly concealed anger – a glint of affection, a vacillating spike of tenderness battling to emerge from under all that vibrating rage your mind was forcefully pushing into her. With a choked-up breath of relief, you instinctively stepped forward, latching onto that abiding twinkle of kindness in spite of all that surrounding violence like a lifeline.
Then, when there was an anticipated screeching of tires coming from your side, a glimpse of grey metal flashing out of the corner of your eye, and an oh-so-familiar harrowing feeling of dread seizing your insides, you kept your eyes unwaveringly locked into your mother’s, resolutely shutting out everything else around you. You bored your gaze into hers and let your mind soak in her warmth.
The car never came, the shouts quietened down, your surroundings slowed down until coming to a complete halt, time stalled and your dream mercifully stepped away from your memories to spare you.
You stood there for ages lost into your mother’s loving gaze, until – having strayed too far from reality – your subconscious lost all senses of what was and wasn’t at the time and let the scene morph into whatever your mind desired. Then, when the voice spoke up again, it wasn’t your mother standing before you anymore,  but a person you now trusted more than you ever thought you would.
“Don’t be scared of me.”
 -----
“We need to help these people.”
The words went completely over your head as you despairingly gaped at the glass in front of you, feeling cold to your bones.
You had gotten a bad feeling as soon as the elevator doors had cracked open.
There hadn’t even been time to make a step forward before you had gotten hit by the foul, repugnant thickness sullying the air with a strength that almost had you rearing your head back a bit. For a dizzying second, the vile and nauseating reek had left you standing there, blearily blinking as your senses had desperately struggled to accommodate to the repellent atmosphere. Yet, in spite of the tears brimming at the corners of your eyes just from the sheer despondency emanating from the place, you had been far from imagining the atrocity, the barbarism of the experiments that were taking place down here.
Despite your reluctance, you had been forced to follow the others as they had stalked out of the elevator, engaging into the dark and humid place with feeble, hesitant steps. As you had all crossed the small entrance leading to the laboratory, you had needed to fight your instincts that they had urgently pleaded you to simply whirl around and run back into the elevator.
Every breath you had taken weighed heavily on your tongue, the pungency sticking to the walls of your throat and poisoning your lungs. Every other second you had spent down there had simply felt like another year taken off your life, the wretched atmosphere slowly eating away at your brain like acid.
In spite of all of that, it had taken some time for the horror to truly dawn on you.
The despair had crept into your heart with every step you had made into the cellar, and then, when you had gotten to the center of it, you had felt for the very first time of your life an intense claustrophobia swarming your heart. Surrounded by a sea of decaying bodies all bound together by the same searing, devastating agony, the hostile basement had quickly gone from a gruesome laboratory to a deadly trap slowly closing in on you.
With nothing but wandering bodies all around you, you felt at the bottom of a pit of wretchedness, your head swelling with an intense, overwhelming pain. It was as though you were entrapped in the center of a microwave which was channeling thousands of screams directly towards your brain instead of radiations, however one of them was significantly stronger than the others and seemed to come from the wide glass wall right in front of you.
“Impossible, dear. They’re corpses below those stars.”
In spite of the searing agony flaring through your chest, your heartbeat seemed to slow down and settle onto a numbing, soporific pace as you unconsciously started stepping towards the wide glass, as though bewitched by the heart-wrenching wail you felt coming from whatever was hiding in that liquid.
With trembling, tentative fingers, you lifted your hand and slowly pressed your palm against the freezing glass, yearning to soothe the poor sufferer from their wrenching agony. The pain only seemed to intensify at the touch, the feeling of desolation gripping your insides as your ears started ringing, completely isolating you from the others. There was nothing else in that room but you and a desolated martyr screaming with thousand of voices right into your mind.
You watched with mournful, brimming eyes as the dark figure behind the glass started stirring until a single, colossal eye revealed itself in front of you, appearing emotionless to any common spectator and yet emitting an amount of woe that would’ve had you on your knees had you not gotten so used to sensing people’s emotions.
“Outburst?”
Rick’s voice rose up right behind you but still didn’t startle you, your eyes riveted onto the creature before you with rapt focus.
“It’s in pain,” you croaked out, the faint words scraping your dry throat like some sandpaper grating your vocal cords. “It’s in so much pain.” You shifted your fingers a bit, as if trying to press your hand closer to the glass, get closer to that strange creature, completely blind to the danger it represented. The tentacles, bumps and single eye did not matter – all you could see was the utter suffering it was in.
“Well,” the Thinker unabashedly butted in, “if I’m not mistaken regarding the purpose of your self-righteous egomaniacal mission – not for much longer.”
His words dawned on you with a dry clarity and had you shifting away from the glass in one brisk motion to whirl your head towards Rick. “We can’t kill it,” you asserted with an adamant, steadfast tone that did not match the slight waver in your voice.
“We have orders.”
Rick’s steadfast voice was way more convincing than yours, and what would’ve usually been a mere reminder of his status as colonel felt like a frustrating hindrance that only heightened the desperation swarming your heart and made you let go of the glass to tighten your fists as you turned around to fully face him.
“No, we can’t, we have to help it, it’s—”
“It’s dangerous,” Rick cut you off, his distrust-colored eyes briefly flickering towards the glass wall.
“It’s suffering!”
Your distressed screech echoed through the cellar, your plea painfully reverberating on the walls and splattering the frantic desperation dripping from your tone all around the basement.
For a fleeting moment, Flag remained speechless, as if hit with full force by the intensity of your despair. During that fleeting moment, you caught a glimpse of the hesitation flashing in his eyes, the way he seemed to ponder over the situation for even just a second, wondering what to do and which way to choose. Then, his gaze flickered to the side, briefly meeting Peacemaker’s, and you were able to pinpoint the exact moment he put his guards up again, welding back on his old mask of professionalism to tightly shut out any emotion you could try to induce in him.
There was a subtle shift in his expression, so subtle you might not even have noticed had you not been so desperately seeking any trace of support on his features. Instead of showing the understanding you were so badly hoping for, the traits of his face hardened, the glint in his eyes dimmed, and then you weren’t standing before Rick anymore, you were facing the colonel, towering over you with his back straight and his orders engraved in his mind.
You were acutely aware of the fact that the mission outweighed you; you had just hoped Rick would hold enough respect towards you to give your words the slightest bit of consideration. Apparently, this respect only allowed you one minute of his time before he completely shut you out.
With a sharp, regretful sigh, he took a step towards you and grabbed your arm with a gentle reluctance that contrasted with the harshness of his tone as he said that you needed to go with the other team.
You tried to protest but his strides were long and hasty, and before you even knew it, he was punching the first-floor button of the elevator as you stood inside of it, stunned.
Just as the doors started closing before you, you feebly parted your lips to utter one last plead; your pained, wavering voice coming out laced with betrayal. “You said I could trust you.”
When he had seemed ready to turn away as soon as the doors started closing between you, Rick’s attention seemed to be piqued by your words as he shifted his gaze back onto you, lingering in front of the elevator for just a second more.
The distress coloring your eyes melted into a sullen resignation as soon as your gaze bored into his, your chest constricting with dejection. There, under the thick coat of seriousness, in the midst of all the restrained belligerence this place inspired him, no glint of affection was to be found, no spike of tenderness desperately trying to emerge from the vibrating anger – nothing but cold, glaring callousness.
Not Rick.
Colonel.
-----
“Where’s Flag?”
Bloodsport turned his gaze towards you, and you instantly recognized the apologetic look in his eyes.
As he grimly shook his head, you finally experienced it firsthand – the agony of a thousand people.
-----
“Apparently Waller sent something to his hospital room. People are joking and saying she sent flowers, but if you want my opinion the old hag probably sent him a reminder that his contract doesn’t cover paid sick leaves.”
The voice, just like the steps accompanying it, echoed through the corridor and kept getting closer to your cell, undoubtedly coming from yet another guard who’d attempt to get a word or a reaction out of you – anything that’d stop them from having to book in an appointment with the jail therapist.
You had seen many of them pass by while you had spent days in a temporary cell during your recovery but hadn’t thought they’d keep on sending them after having transferred back in your old cell this morning.
The landscape change didn’t make any difference for you, as you simply kept on staring at the wall for hours on end with the most irksome gloomy look clouding your features.
You couldn’t think about anything else than Rick.
You didn’t think you had even truly processed it yet. It had happened too fast.
Within the span of a few days, the colonel had somehow gained your trust, slowly leading you to warm up to him by showing you an affection you hadn’t experienced in years. It felt like he had turned your world upside down, made everything brighter with the prospect of saving lives alongside a superior who truly valued you, and then you had made the mistake of letting him out of your sight, forced to walk away from that dreadful laboratory for just a few minutes, and he had died there, the one person on this earth who you could genuinely trust now buried under the rumbles in that bottomless pit of agony.
You had mulled over it what felt like a thousand times already and you just could not figure out how to simply go on with your life. Not when your one chance at a brighter future had been squandered so violently as soon as you had turned your back to it.
Somehow, it felt like your fault.
You had been careless, unfocused. You had forcefully dragged Rick’s attention away from the mission at hand only because you were too weak to handle the downsides of your ability, your eyes pathetically overflowing with tears of empathy as the rest of your team simply tried to achieve the mission. You had distracted Rick as that one had been forced to take you to the elevator like a child, had unconsciously helped Peacemaker steal a secret file and forced Cleo to try and stop him on her own before Flag could come to her aid.
The file had been retrieved, but only after Bloodsport had stopped Peacemaker from coldly eliminating Cleo. Only after Rick’s body had already been left laying soundly in the laboratory.
They had fought with all their might for that file, for those values you had accused Flag of lacking merely days ago, and you hadn’t even been there.
It had been crushing to find out that the trust you held towards him had been misplaced, but it was nothing in comparison to discovering he shouldn’t have trusted you either.
You forcefully swallowed back the lump in your throat when you heard the steps finally come to a halt right by your cell and had a hard time concealing the startled look on your face when a very familiar voice rose up.
“Well well well, from what I’ve heard little princess doesn’t want to eat anymore?”
The hair on the back of your neck stood on end at the falsely dulcet tone dripping with a syrupy looking but dangerously abrasive poison. You had to keep yourself from gritting your teeth as your gaze caught up on Griggs’ silhouette standing before your cell from the corner of your eye.
“You’re not even gonna make an effort for me?” he teased you as his lips spread into a sneering smile that made him look more moronic than sadistic due to the absolute lack of sagacity behind his eyes.
You kept your mouth tightly shut and your eyes riveted to the wall across from you, trying to muster the blankest expression you could not to let him affect you but feeling a peeved expression weighing down on your features nonetheless.
“Aww, guys it looks like we’re gonna have to use the feeding tubes,” Griggs ironically groaned, turning towards his colleagues with a facetious glint in his eyes. One of them instantly stepped up to open the door to your cell, not even needing to think twice about the threat just emitted. “You know how much I hate doing that,” he then kept on jeering, much to the amusement of the other guards.
You waited with anticipation as he stepped into the cell, feeling your entire body buzzing with an overpowering apprehension, not having a clue of what you could do but knowing for a fact that with all the adrenaline slowly being spread into your system, there was no way you’d let Griggs go back to his old mistreatment.
His filthy fingers barely grazed your skin, and, as though electrified, you jumped to your feet, putting some distance between you and him. You kept your eyes determinedly fixated in front of you but could see from the corner of your eye how stunned he was by your abrupt reaction. He had gotten to the unresponsive side of you that had emerged after only a few months here, the poor figure staying down on the ground and no longer batting an eyelash at his constant abuse. His face remained dazed for a fleeting moment before the ghost of a smirk reappeared on his features.
After all, he had broken you once, it’d be no bother to do it a second time.
“What, you go on one mission with Task Force X and then you don’t like me anymore?”
He reached out a hand again, much more aggressively this time, and you jolted away, instinctively bringing a hand up without even knowing if you were willing to take the risk of hitting him.
“Step away from her, Griggs.”
The stone cold words loudly rang through the cell and heavily fell between you both, instantly followed by a deafening silence as Griggs’ hand hovered in the air for a fleeting moment, just inches away from the skin of your arm.
Then, for a dizzying, fleeting moment, it felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the cell.
Chill shivers of relief racked your spine before your brain even had time to process the voice, and then, when the familiarity of it finally sank in, you felt as though some freezing water had been dumped over you, leaving you soaked and shivering in the middle of your cell – only this time Griggs wasn't the cause of it.
You whirled your head towards the entrance of your cell with a vertiginous speed and had to bite back a choked-up noise from stumbling out of your lips when your gaze landed upon the owner of the voice glowering at Griggs with a murderous look in his eyes.
“You’re not supposed to be back yet,” Griggs pointed out sheepishly, letting his arm limply drop to his side now that his focus had been completely taken off of you.
“I was feeling better,” Rick informed him with a tight-lipped smile which then briskly dropped from his features. “Now stand down,” he repeated himself, his voice steadfast and as neutral as he could muster it. “I wouldn’t push my luck if I were you. I’ve seen what you did to her, and I’d love to show you what it feels like to be on the wrong side of the blade.”
The threat made the cell go utterly silent and for just a second, the sweetest second ever, all traces of amusement vanished from Griggs’ suddenly pale face. He looked started, nervous, oh so pathetic, and then when he finally regained his composure enough to quickly muster up the most serious look he could to paint on his pallid features, he had already lost all respect from every occupant of the room.
“You’d risk your job for a bitch who told you to eat shit five minutes into your mission?”
There was an imperceptible twitch on Rick’s features at the reminder. He had to briskly fight off a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips, but you could still discern the faintest glint of amusement in his eyes and had to swallow back a choked-up laugh – your heart swarming with a bunch of overwhelming emotions you couldn’t even identify at the moment.
His eyes briefly flickered to you. “Apparently,” he conceded with the ghost of a smirk playing on his lips, before he cast his gaze back on Griggs and recovered a cold, severe expression. “And, trust me, given how liked you are around here, I don’t think I’d risk more than a paid leave even if I attempted to murder you.”
Yet another sullen silence fell over the cell like a heavy fog, and this time, Griggs made the wise decision of not shattering it, containing his anger within a single huff before stalking out of the cell with heavy steps that made him akin to a stomping child. His colleagues briefly glanced at Rick, not quite knowing what to do, before meeting his eyes and promptly deciding to follow Griggs’ decision.
“You’re alive,” you breathlessly uttered as soon as you were both left alone.
“A bit roughed up, but yes, alive,” he winced back, turning his gaze towards you.
You knew he couldn’t feel the blissful exultation swarming your heart now that your ability was smothered by the collar secured around your neck, but you hoped he could see it in your eyes and in the way you just couldn’t seem to blink those relieved tears away.
Rick took a few steps towards you and let out a bated breath, as if he was finally allowed to exhale, as if he hadn’t been able to feel comfortable until standing near you again – and you then knew for a fact that if he couldn’t see the exultation in your heart, he at least felt it as well.
Without another word, he then tentatively brought a hand up before letting it hover uncertainly in the air. He seemed hesitant as if he wasn’t sure how to act anymore now that his mask of professionalism was gone, and you couldn’t help but let out a short chuckle. This was enough for a single droplet to finally fall from your brimming eyes, and the way Rick’s gaze seemed to soften even more at the sight of it almost led you to shedding a few more.
With utter cautiousness, he brought his hand to your face to brush the stray tear away and then left it there, his warm palm cradling your cheek.
“Looks like I’ve won again,” he said in a breath, the words merely stumbling out of his lips as if he were afraid to break that frail, tender moment of vulnerability between the two of you. His thumb gently stroked your cheek again and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch, your gaze never once leaving his. “I really want to kiss you right now.”
You had once said that the only way for Rick to ever get close to you was for you to give out your last breath, and yet, ever since that very vow you had felt yourself ever-so-slowly opening up to him, as though there was something in the air and it was killing you softly.
Now that the sweet, sweet poison had filled up your lungs – all wrapped up in his arms and boring your gaze into his with a wide-eyed fascination – you chose to completely let go of that vow, braving the risk to perish and merely uttering back two candid, gentle words.
“Pretty please.”
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path-of-my-childhood · 5 years ago
Text
Taylor Swift: ‘I was literally about to break’
By: Laura Snapes for The Guardian Date: August 24th 2019
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Taylor Swift’s Nashville apartment is an Etsy fever dream, a 365-days-a-year Christmas shop, pure teenage girl id. You enter through a vestibule clad in blue velvet and covered in gilt frames bursting with fake flowers. The ceiling is painted like the night sky. Above a koi pond in the living area, a narrow staircase spirals six feet up towards a giant, pillow-lagged birdcage that probably has the best view in the city. Later, Swift will tell me she needs metaphors “to understand anything that happens to me”, and the birdcage defies you not to interpret it as a pointed comment on the contradictions of stardom.
Swift, wearing pale jeans and dip-dyed shirt, her sandy hair tied in a blue scrunchie, leads the way up the staircase to show me the view. The decor hasn’t changed since she bought this place in 2009, when she was 19. “All of these high rises are new since then,” she says, gesturing at the squat glass structures and cranes. Meanwhile her oven is still covered in stickers, more teenage diary than adult appliance.
Now 29, she has spent much of the past three years living quietly in London with her boyfriend, actor Joe Alwyn, making the penthouse a kind of time capsule, a monument to youthful naivety given an unlimited budget – the years when she sang about Romeo and Juliet and wore ballgowns to awards shows; before she moved to New York and honed her slick, self-mythologising pop.
It is mid-August. This is Swift’s first UK interview in more than three years, and she seems nervous: neither presidential nor goofy (her usual defaults), but quick with a tongue-out “ugh” of regret or frustration as she picks at her glittery purple nails. We climb down from the birdcage to sit by the pond, and when the conversation turns to 2016, the year the wheels came off for her, Swift stiffens as if driving over a mile of speed bumps. After a series of bruising public spats (with Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj) in 2015, there was a high-profile standoff with Kanye West. The news that she was in a relationship with actor Tom Hiddleston, which leaked soon after, was widely dismissed as a diversionary tactic. Meanwhile, Swift went to court to prosecute a sexual assault claim, and faced a furious backlash when she failed to endorse a candidate in the 2016 presidential election, allowing the alt-right to adopt her as their “Aryan princess”.
Her critics assumed she cared only about the bottom line. The reality, Swift says, is that she was totally broken. “Every domino fell,” she says bitterly. “It became really terrifying for anyone to even know where I was. And I felt completely incapable of doing or saying anything publicly, at all. Even about my music. I always said I wouldn’t talk about what was happening personally, because that was a personal time.” She won’t get into specifics. “I just need some things that are mine,” she despairs. “Just some things.”
A year later, in 2017, Swift released her album Reputation, half high-camp heel turn, drawing on hip-hop and vaudeville (the brilliantly hammy Look What You Made Me Do), half stunned appreciation that her nascent relationship with Alwyn had weathered the storm (the soft, sensual pop of songs Delicate and Dress).
Her new album, Lover, her seventh, was released yesterday. It’s much lighter than Reputation: Swift likens writing it to feeling like “I could take a full deep breath again”. Much of it is about Alwyn: the Galway Girl-ish track London Boy lists their favourite city haunts and her newfound appreciation of watching rugby in the pub with his uni mates; on the ruminative Afterglow, she asks him to forgive her anxious tendency to assume the worst.
While she has always written about relationships, they were either teenage fantasy or a postmortem on a high-profile breakup, with exes such as Jake Gyllenhaal and Harry Styles. But she and Alwyn have seldom been pictured together, and their relationship is the only other thing she won’t talk about. “I’ve learned that if I do, people think it’s up for discussion, and our relationship isn’t up for discussion,” she says, laughing after I attempt a stealthy angle. “If you and I were having a glass of wine right now, we’d be talking about it – but it’s just that it goes out into the world. That’s where the boundary is, and that’s where my life has become manageable. I really want to keep it feeling manageable.”
Instead, she has swapped personal disclosure for activism. Last August, Swift broke her political silence to endorse Democratic Tennessee candidate Phil Bredesen in the November 2018 senate race. Vote.org reported an unprecedented spike in voting registration after Swift’s Instagram post, while Donald Trump responded that he liked her music “about 25% less now”.
Meanwhile, her recent single You Need To Calm Down admonished homophobes and namechecked US LGBTQ rights organisation Glaad (which then saw increased donations). Swift filled her video with cameos from queer stars such as Ellen DeGeneres and Queen singer Adam Lambert, and capped it with a call to sign her petition in support of the Equality Act, which if passed would prohibit gender- and sexuality-based discrimination in the US. A video of Polish LGBTQ fans miming the track in defiance of their government’s homophobic agenda went viral. But Swift was accused of “queerbaiting” and bandwagon-jumping. You can see how she might find it hard to work out what, exactly, people want from her.
***
It was girlhood that made Swift a multimillionaire. When country music’s gatekeepers swore that housewives were the only women interested in the genre, she proved them wrong. Her self-titled debut marked the longest stay on the Billboard 200 by any album released in the decade. A potentially cloying image – corkscrew curls, lyrics thick on “daddy” and down-home values – were undercut by the fact she was evidently, endearingly, a bit of a freak, an unusual combination of intensity and artlessness. Also, she was really, really good at what she did, and not just for a teenager: her entirely self-written third album, 2010’s Speak Now, is unmatched in its devastatingly withering dismissals of awful men.
As a teenager, Swift was obsessed with VH1’s Behind The Music, the series devoted to the rise and fall of great musicians. She would forensically rewatch episodes, trying to pinpoint the moment a career went wrong. I ask her to imagine she’s watching the episode about herself and do the same thing: where was her misstep? “Oh my God,” she says, drawing a deep breath and letting her lips vibrate as she exhales. “I mean, that’s so depressing!” She thinks back and tries to deflect. “What I remember is that [the show] was always like, ‘Then we started fighting in the tour bus and then the drummer quit and the guitarist was like, “You’re not paying me enough.”’’’
But that’s not what she used to say. In interviews into her early 20s, Swift often observed that an artist fails when they lose their self-awareness, as if repeating the fact would work like an insurance against succumbing to the same fate. But did she make that mistake herself? She squeezes her nose and blows to clear a ringing in her ears before answering. “I definitely think that sometimes you don’t realise how you’re being perceived,” she says. “Pop music can feel like it’s The Hunger Games, and like we’re gladiators. And you can really lose focus of the fact that that’s how it feels because that’s how a lot of stan [fan] Twitter and tabloids and blogs make it seem – the overanalysing of everything makes it feel really intense.”
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She describes the way she burned bridges in 2016 as a kind of obliviousness. “I didn’t realise it was like a classic overthrow of someone in power – where you didn’t realise the whispers behind your back, you didn’t realise the chain reaction of events that was going to make everything fall apart at the exact, perfect time for it to fall apart.”
Here’s that chain reaction in full. With her 2014 album 1989 (the year she was born), Swift transcended country stardom, becoming as ubiquitous as Beyoncé. For the first time she vocally embraced feminism, something she had rejected in her teens; but, after a while, it seemed to amount to not much more than a lot of pictures of her hanging out with her “squad”, a bevy of supermodels, musicians and Lena Dunham. The squad very much did not include her former friend Katy Perry, whom Swift targeted in her song Bad Blood, as part of what seemed like a painfully overblown dispute about some backing dancers. Then, when Nicki Minaj tweeted that MTV’s 2015 Video Music awards had rewarded white women at the expense of women of colour, multiple-nominee Swift took it personally, responding: “Maybe one of the men took your slot.” For someone prone to talking about the haters, she quickly became her own worst enemy.
Her old adversary Kanye West resurfaced in February 2016. In 2009, West had invaded Swift’s stage at the MTV VMAs to protest against her victory over Beyoncé in the female video of the year category. It remains the peak of interest in Swift on Google Trends, and the conflict between them has become such a cornerstone of celebrity journalism that it’s hard to remember it lay dormant for nearly seven years – until West released his song Famous. “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex,��� he rapped. “Why? I made that bitch famous.” The video depicted a Swift mannequin naked in bed with men including Trump.
Swift loudly condemned both; although she had discussed the track with West, she said she had never agreed to the “bitch” lyric or the video. West’s wife, Kim Kardashian, released a heavily edited clip that showed Swift at least agreeing to the “sex” line on the phone with West, if not the “bitch” part. Swift pleaded the technicality, but it made no difference: when Kardashian went on Twitter to describe her as a snake, the comparison stuck and the singer found herself very publicly “cancelled” – the incident taken as “proof” of Swift’s insincerity. So she went away.
Swift says she stopped trying to explain herself, even though she “definitely” could have. As she worked on Reputation, she was also writing “a think-piece a day that I knew I would never publish: the stuff I would say, and the different facets of the situation that nobody knew”. If she could exonerate herself, why didn’t she? She leans forward. “Here’s why,” she says conspiratorially. “Because when people are in a hate frenzy and they find something to mutually hate together, it bonds them. And anything you say is in an echo chamber of mockery.”
She compares that year to being hit by a tidal wave. “You can either stand there and let the wave crash into you, and you can try as hard as you can to fight something that’s more powerful and bigger than you,” she says. “Or you can dive under the water, hold your breath, wait for it to pass and while you’re down there, try to learn something. Why was I in that part of the ocean? There were clearly signs that said: Rip tide! Undertow! Don’t swim! There are no lifeguards!” She’s on a roll. “Why was I there? Why was I trusting people I trusted? Why was I letting people into my life the way I was letting them in? What was I doing that caused this?”
After the incident with Minaj, her critics started pointing out a narrative of “white victimhood” in Swift’s career. Speaking slowly and carefully, she says she came to understand “a lot about how my privilege allowed me to not have to learn about white privilege. I didn’t know about it as a kid, and that is privilege itself, you know? And that’s something that I’m still trying to educate myself on every day. How can I see where people are coming from, and understand the pain that comes with the history of our world?”
She also accepts some responsibility for her overexposure, and for some of the tabloid drama. If she didn’t wish a friend happy birthday on Instagram, there would be reports about severed friendships, even if they had celebrated together. “Because we didn’t post about it, it didn’t happen – and I realised I had done that,” she says. “I created an expectation that everything in my life that happened, people would see.”
But she also says she couldn’t win. “I’m kinda used to being gaslit by now,” she drawls wearily. “And I think it happens to women so often that, as we get older and see how the world works, we’re able to see through what is gaslighting. So I’m able to look at 1989 and go – KITTIES!” She breaks off as an assistant walks in with Swift’s three beloved cats, stars of her Instagram feed, back from the vet before they fly to England this week. Benjamin, Olivia and Meredith haughtily circle our feet (they are scared of the koi) as Swift resumes her train of thought, back to the release of 1989 and the subsequent fallout. “Oh my God, they were mad at me for smiling a lot and quote-unquote acting fake. And then they were mad at me that I was upset and bitter and kicking back.” The rules kept changing.
***
Swift’s new album comes with printed excerpts from her diaries. On 29 August 2016, she wrote in her girlish, bubble writing: “This summer is the apocalypse.” As the incident with West and Kardashian unfolded, she was preparing for her court case against radio DJ David Mueller, who was fired in 2013 after Swift reported him for putting his hand up her dress at a meet-and–greet event. He sued her for defamation; she countersued for sexual assault.
“Having dealt with a few of them, narcissists basically subscribe to a belief system that they should be able to do and say whatever the hell they want, whenever the hell they want to,” Swift says now, talking at full pelt. “And if we – as anyone else in the world, but specifically women – react to that, well, we’re not allowed to. We’re not allowed to have a reaction to their actions.”
In summer 2016 she was in legal depositions, practising her testimony. “You’re supposed to be really polite to everyone,” she says. But by the time she got to court in August 2017, “something snapped, I think”. She laughs. Her testimony was sharp and uncompromising. She refused to allow Mueller’s lawyers to blame her or her security guards; when asked if she could see the incident, Swift said no, because “my ass is in the back of my body”. It was a brilliant, rude defence.
“You’re supposed to behave yourself in court and say ‘rear end’,” she says with mock politesse. “The other lawyer was saying, ‘When did he touch your backside?’ And I was like, ‘ASS! Call it what it is!’” She claps between each word. But despite the acclaim for her testimony and eventual victory (she asked for one symbolic dollar), she still felt belittled. It was two months prior to the beginning of the #MeToo movement. “Even this case was literally twisted so hard that people were calling it the ‘butt-grab case’. They were saying I sued him because there’s this narrative that I want to sue everyone. That was one of the reasons why the summer was the apocalypse.”
She never wanted the assault to be made public. Have there been other instances she has dealt with privately? “Actually, no,” she says soberly. “I’m really lucky that it hadn’t happened to me before. But that was one of the reasons it was so traumatising. I just didn’t know that could happen. It was really brazen, in front of seven people.” She has since had security cameras installed at every meet-and-greet she does, deliberately pointed at her lower half. “If something happens again, we can prove it with video footage from every angle,” she says.
The allegations about Harvey Weinstein came out soon after she won her case. The film producer had asked her to write a song for the romantic comedy One Chance, which earned her second Golden Globe nomination. Weinstein also got her a supporting role in the 2014 sci-fi movie The Giver, and attended the launch party for 1989. But she says they were never alone together.
“He’d call my management and be like, ‘Does she have a song for this film?’ And I’d be like, ‘Here it is,’” she says dispassionately. “And then I’d be at the Golden Globes. I absolutely never hung out. And I would get a vibe – I would never vouch for him. I believe women who come forward, I believe victims who come forward, I believe men who come forward.” Swift inhales, flustered. She says Weinstein never propositioned her. “If you listen to the stories, he picked people who were vulnerable, in his opinion. It seemed like it was a power thing. So, to me, that doesn’t say anything – that I wasn’t in that situation.”
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Meanwhile, Donald Trump was more than nine months into his presidency, and still Swift had not taken a position. But the idea that a pop star could ever have impeded his path to the White House seemed increasingly naive. In hindsight, the demand that Swift speak up looks less about politics and more about her identity (white, rich, powerful) and a moralistic need for her to redeem herself – as if nobody else had ever acted on a vindictive instinct, or blundered publicly.
But she resisted what might have been an easy return to public favour. Although Reputation contained softer love songs, it was better known for its brittle, vengeful side (see This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things). She describes that side of the album now as a “bit of a persona”, and its hip-hop-influenced production as “a complete defence mechanism”. Personally, I thought she had never been more relatable, trashing the contract of pious relatability that traps young women in the public eye.
***
It was the assault trial, and watching the rights of LGBTQ friends be eroded, that finally politicised her, Swift says. “The things that happen to you in your life are what develop your political opinions. I was living in this Obama eight-year paradise of, you go, you cast your vote, the person you vote for wins, everyone’s happy!” she says. “This whole thing, the last three, four years, it completely blindsided a lot of us, me included.”
She recently said she was “dismayed” when a friend pointed out that her position on gay rights wasn’t obvious (what if she had a gay son, he asked), hence this summer’s course correction with the single You Need To Calm Down (“You’re comin’ at my friends like a missile/Why are you mad?/When you could be GLAAD?”). Didn’t she feel equally dismayed that her politics weren’t clear? “I did,” she insists, “and I hate to admit this, but I felt that I wasn’t educated enough on it. Because I hadn’t actively tried to learn about politics in a way that I felt was necessary for me, making statements that go out to hundreds of millions of people.”
She explains her inner conflict. “I come from country music. The number one thing they absolutely drill into you as a country artist, and you can ask any other country artist this, is ‘Don’t be like the Dixie Chicks!’” In 2003, the Texan country trio denounced the Iraq war, saying they were “ashamed” to share a home state with George W Bush. There was a boycott, and an event where a bulldozer crushed their CDs. “I watched country music snuff that candle out. The most amazing group we had, just because they talked about politics. And they were getting death threats. They were made such an example that basically every country artist that came after that, every label tells you, ‘Just do not get involved, no matter what.’
“And then, you know, if there was a time for me to get involved…” Swift pauses. “The worst part of the timing of what happened in 2016 was I felt completely voiceless. I just felt like, oh God, who would want me? Honestly.” She would otherwise have endorsed Hillary Clinton? “Of course,” she says sincerely. “I just felt completely, ugh, just useless. And maybe even like a hindrance.”
I suggest that, thinking selfishly, her coming out for Clinton might have made people like her. “I wasn’t thinking like that,” she stresses. “I was just trying to protect my mental health – not read the news very much, go cast my vote, tell people to vote. I just knew what I could handle and I knew what I couldn’t. I was literally about to break. For a while.” Did she seek therapy? “That stuff I just really wanna keep personal, if that’s OK,” she says.
She resists blaming anyone else for her political silence. Her emergence as a Democrat came after she left Big Machine, the label she signed to at 15. (They are now at loggerheads after label head Scott Borchetta sold the company, and the rights to Swift’s first six albums, to Kanye West’s manager, Scooter Braun.) Had Borchetta ever advised her against speaking out? She exhales. “It was just me and my life, and also doing a lot of self-reflection about how I did feel really remorseful for not saying anything. I wanted to try and help in any way that I could, the next time I got a chance. I didn’t help, I didn’t feel capable of it – and as soon as I can, I’m going to.”
Swift was once known for throwing extravagant 4 July parties at her Rhode Island mansion. The Instagram posts from these star-studded events – at which guests wore matching stars-and-stripes bikinis and onesies – probably supported a significant chunk of the celebrity news industry GDP. But in 2017, they stopped. “The horror!” wrote Cosmopolitan, citing “reasons that remain a mystery” for their disappearance. It wasn’t “squad” strife or the unavailability of matching cozzies that brought the parties to an end, but Swift’s disillusionment with her country, she says.
There is a smart song about this on the new album – the track that should have been the first single, instead of the cartoonish ME!. Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince is a forlorn, gothic ballad in the vein of Lana Del Rey that uses high-school imagery to dismantle American nationalism: “The whole school is rolling fake dice/You play stupid games/You win stupid prizes,” she sings with disdain. “Boys will be boys then/Where are the wise men?”
As an ambitious 11-year-old, she worked out that singing the national anthem at sports games was the quickest way to get in front of a large audience. When did she start feeling conflicted about what America stands for? She gives another emphatic ugh. “It was the fact that all the dirtiest tricks in the book were used and it worked,” she says. “The thing I can’t get over right now is gaslighting the American public into being like” – she adopts a sanctimonious tone – “‘If you hate the president, you hate America.’ We’re a democracy – at least, we’re supposed to be – where you’re allowed to disagree, dissent, debate.” She doesn’t use Trump’s name. “I really think that he thinks this is an autocracy.”
As we speak, Tennessee lawmakers are trying to impose a near-total ban on abortion. Swift has staunchly defended her “Tennessee values” in recent months. What’s her position? “I mean, obviously, I’m pro-choice, and I just can’t believe this is happening,” she says. She looks close to tears. “I can’t believe we’re here. It’s really shocking and awful. And I just wanna do everything I can for 2020. I wanna figure out exactly how I can help, what are the most effective ways to help. ’Cause this is just…” She sighs again. “This is not it.”
***
It is easy to forget that the point of all this is that a teenage Taylor Swiftwanted to write love songs. Nemeses and negativity are now so entrenched in her public persona that it’s hard to know how she can get back to that, though she seems to want to. At the end of Daylight, the new album’s dreamy final song, there’s a spoken-word section: “I want to be defined by the things that I love,” she says as the music fades. “Not the things that I hate, not the things I’m afraid of, the things that haunt me in the middle of the night.” As well as the songs written for Alwyn, there is one for her mother, who recently experienced a cancer relapse: “You make the best of a bad deal/I just pretend it isn’t real,” Swift sings, backed by the Dixie Chicks.
How does writing about her personal life work if she’s setting clearer boundaries? “It actually made me feel more free,” she says. “I’ve always had this habit of never really going into detail about exactly what situation inspired what thing, but even more so now.” This is only half true: in the past, Swift wasn’t shy of a level of detail that invited fans to figure out specific truths about her relationships. And when I tell her that Lover feels a more emotionally guarded album, she bristles. “I know the difference between making art and living your life like a reality star,” she says. “And then even if it’s hard for other people to grasp, my definition is really clear.”
Even so, Swift begins Lover by addressing an adversary, opening with a song called I Forgot That You Existed (“it isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference”), presumably aimed at Kanye West, a track that slightly defeats its premise by existing. But it sweeps aside old dramas to confront Swift’s real nemesis, herself. “I never grew up/It’s getting so old,” she laments on The Archer.
She has had to learn not to pre-empt disaster, nor to run from it. Her life has been defined by relationships, friendships and business relationships that started and ended very publicly (though she and Perry are friends again). At the same time, the rules around celebrity engagement have evolved beyond recognition in her 15 years of fame. Rather than trying to adapt to them, she’s now asking herself: “How do you learn to maintain? How do you learn not to have these phantom disasters in your head that you play out, and how do you stop yourself from sabotage – because the panic mechanism in your brain is telling you that something must go wrong.” For her, this is what growing up is. “You can’t just make cut-and-dry decisions in life. A lot of things are a negotiation and a grey area and a dance of how to figure it out.”
And so this time, Swift is sticking around. In December she will turn 30, marking the point after which more than half her life will have been lived in public. She’ll start her new decade with a stronger self-preservationist streak, and a looser grip (as well as a cameo in Cats). “You can’t micromanage life, it turns out,” she says, drily.
When Swift finally answered my question about the moment she would choose in the VH1 Behind The Music episode about herself, the one where her career turned, she said she hoped it wouldn’t focus on her “apocalypse” summer of 2016. “Maybe this is wishful thinking,” she said, “but I’d like to think it would be in a couple of years.” It’s funny to hear her hope that the worst is still to come while sitting in her fairytale living room, the cats pacing: a pragmatist at odds with her romantic monument to teenage dreams. But it sounds something like perspective.
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mprjanedoe · 4 years ago
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What is your ultimate goal here? The impression I get from your posts is that you would like the band to end. I know you didn't say that, but it read to me like you were trying not to say it in quite so blunt a way, merely to imply it. Cutting MPR out of all previous recordings & videos would gut their back catalogue and reconstructing them would be an impossible task. Cutting Steve from MKIII, TVC & Q would be less drastic, but still hard to put right. No judgement, just my observation.
With all due respect anon, I feel like you’ve missed the point if this is what you’ve gotten out of my posts, but regardless, I will reply to this in earnest. 
I feel like I’ve stated my goal in multiple ways in my posts, but I’ll make it explicitly clear here and again:
My goal is for everyone who knows who Michael is, to know what he has done. Because his victims deserve that, and the people who know him personally, professionally, and are fans of him deserve that so that they don’t hold an idealized image of him in their heads unknowingly. Whether or not they choose to support him or still enjoy his music or any projects related to him is their business, but they can’t make any informed decisions walking around with an innocent version of him in their heads. Everyone deserves to know. For their personal safety and their psychological safety.
This is not about Steam Powered Giraffe inherently in any way. The only reason this involves Steam Powered Giraffe is because SPG is the platform Michael gained and used for harm. 
I am not trying to end Steam Powered Giraffe. I am not trying to harm Steam Powered Giraffe or any of its members in any way. I am not wishing any harm or end or disbandment or lack of success on Steam Powered Giraffe. I really am not. I am not some petty troll trying to take down the band. My mention of removing Michael from previous SPG media is not to hurt SPG, it’s to deplatform and demonetize Michael because he used the platform he gained from Steam Powered Giraffe to harm others, and he shouldn’t be allowed to benefit from that anymore because he took advantage of it. And considering both Bunny and David expressed remorse and disgust in his involvement now knowing his past, I would think ultimately it would make everyone rest easier to not be haunted by traces of his involvement left in SPG’s art. 
Another thing, quite frankly I am not intricately familiar with Steam Powered Giraffe’s entire catalogue enough to know the burden of the task of removing Michael from it. When I said that he should be removed, I said this with the faith that while I assumed it would be a notably time consuming effort, I do know that David and Bunny are very talented musicians and vocalists and I figured any holes left by Michael’s contributions could be replaced with their own talent, not to mention Bryan could probably assist I imagine, and while we’re in the middle of a pandemic and live shows aren’t happening, now might be an ideal time to work on this task. Ultimately however this was a smaller detail in my mind compared to asking Steam Powered Giraffe and the Bennetts to amplify the victim’s voices and story. If SPG & the Bennetts chose to do that and were like “hey it would be impossible to recover our catalogue if we were to deconstruct all of Michael’s contributions and remove them” I would honestly understand and not feel too resentful about that. I would not see that as a notable failing or demand it be done in any aggressive way. I would understand. Again, that is ultimately so much smaller in importance than more openly admonishing the explicit details of what Michael did as well as amplifying the victims’ statements and making the fanbase aware of the harm caused. 
Going back to the statement about the assumption of implication of trying to end Steam Powered Giraffe. While Michael was a crucial member of the band for years, he was still part of the backing band and not even a full part of the performance as a character. Steam Powered Giraffe has moved through a bunch of band members and characters, Erin (I think that was her name? I don’t fully recall also I unfortunately do not remember her character name), The Jon, Hatchworth, etc - all were notable parts of the band and all moved on and the band went on. The Bennetts are the backbone of the band and have successfully kept it going even as it has evolved and changed for various reasons. I fully believe that if the Bennetts make a deliberate effort to do more to make things right in this regard in using the platform they still have from SPG that is the same platform Michael used for harm, to make sure their community and fanbase knows the explicit harm Michael did, and their commitment to supporting the victims by making it known and admonishing it, that if anything this would create an opportunity for greater respect, trust, and admiration for Steam Powered Giraffe. My tones that may seem harsh and disappointed are because I as a victim, and an advocate for other victims, do not feel truly supported or acknowledged by Steam Powered Giraffe and the Bennetts despite their offering to support Michael’s victims, and without this to me their platform remains tarnished. 
My mention for a hiatus to be in effect as well, mentioning ceasing promo temporarily and such, was also not in any way meant to harm Steam Powered Giraffe’s success. It was simply meant to give people time and room to access and process the information of what Michael has done. The internet is constantly brimming with information, we all know this, and because of this important things can get buried quickly and people so rarely go back in social media timelines to get caught up on what they missed. Much of how people consume is in the moment. So if SPG did post more about Michael but continued to post band promo and art prompts and such, the information could be quickly buried and be for naught. Which already to some degree happened when Bunny tweeted and then there were tweets from her about streams she was doing, tweets from SPG about new songs and art prompts. In later posts mentioning that something had gone awry with Michael and Steve, I saw fans already being like “what happened?” and being confused, because by that point, the other posts had been buried and it’s not always easy to just find things in peoples timelines again. So again, my suggestion was not meant to harm SPG or end them with that statement either, it was simply to give space and respect - a virtual moment of silence for 10 years of harm and abuse and someone taking advantage of their platform and art. 
This is about Michael. This is explicitly about Michael. Michael is no longer apart of Steam Powered Giraffe, but he was a part of their past, and he was apart of their platform, and all I’m ultimately asking is for Steam Powered Giraffe and the Bennetts to use the same platform that was used by Michael for harm to be used to make a gesture of making things right by giving space to victims and by respecting their own fanbase by not letting anyone go around with an idealized innocent version of Michael in their heads unknowingly. Everyone deserves that, and that does not inherently harm the band, and I don’t believe would inherently end the band, nor is that in any way my goal, and misses the point of my goal entirely. I want to be heard, I want all of Michael’s victims to be heard, and I want people to know what he’s done so that it is not a festering secret. There is a lot of psychological harm in knowing any abuser, let alone your (as in my/others) abuser, is being praised and admired by likely literal thousands of people, maybe even tens of thousands of people, many of whom I have faith in would not condone or be okay with his actions, all because they simply don’t know what happened. We all deserve for that not to be the case. 
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jesterden · 4 years ago
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One more thing.
I have people to keep safe. People came forward to me and if they don’t want their names associated, that’s not my place to come out for them. I deleted what I did because the people involved ASKED me too. I made a mistake in posting that and I’ve dealt with the consequences of that.
If we say we don’t post caps to keep people safe, it’s a travesty.
If we don’t post IP addresses (which mean NOTHING in the age of easy to access VPNs, if you want to send a death threat to yourself, you can make it come from North Korea with a free trial of almost any VPN) of the people sending us death threats, we sent them to ourselves. Nevermind the fact most of us don’t use trackers because they’re generally useless because once again, VPNs exist. I’ll never know if that’s actually the IP belonging to the person, or just some random one from another country.
I fucked up in this situation multiple times. And that’s on me. You can believe what you want. You can cancel me. You can cancel all my friends.
It doesn’t change the fact there are caps out there of many of the things we said. Which, here’s the post Katie made, filled with caps, that was entirely ignored because it made Jax look bad. Link here.
Also, we never called anyone a zoophile. We never, ever, attempted to admonish or discount someone’s sexuality. I’ve even deleted asks calling Jax a zoophile because I’m not going to provide a platform for that, because if I do, people will assume I think that.
Providing an IP address proves NOTHING. Providing caps with context cut proves NOTHING.
I provided a platform for people to come forward, and while some of them may not have been the best people, every single person I talked to confirmed the other stories and backed it up. If someone said something that was disproven by other stories, I wouldn’t have posted that, and I would have questioned the other people to provide a cohesive version of events. Which, if you forgot about those caps, including formerly close friends admitting they’re terrified of Jax, here are those, too.
It’s not just a lion game when someone is sending death threats to other people. It’s not just a game when serval got her full name sent to her. It’s not just a game when my friends are getting shit like this in their inbox.
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And you guys are doing this... for what? Because they‘re my friends? Because they’re anti-Jax? You guys are sending death threats to a teenage girl and sending another her full name because... is it fun to you? Is it something you actively enjoy doing?
Because in case you’ve forgot, literally everyone that’s being “canceled” are teenagers (except for katie, who is still a good bit younger than jax) meanwhile there is a grown ass adult (who is apparently in at least her mid-20s) admitting to watching our blogs, watching what we post, watching what we do and collecting screenshots of every public conversation we have. Yet somehow, she’s not the stalker.
Please wake the fuck up.
@liosalt here’s your giant post to reblog from me, since lionews shut down. got one from dalt earlier.
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tellywoodtrash · 5 years ago
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Sanjivani - Weeks 2 + 3
This is now my lunchtime show (replacing random topical news comedy like Late Night with Seth Meyers, Last Week Tonight, Patriot Act, etc.) It’s a nice show to consume that way; I’m not super-involved in it, but it decently holds my interest for a solid 20 minutes as I shove something in my gaping maw.
Overall Plot
Marginal improvement in plot as the show and characters settle in. We learn more about the backgrounds of Ishani and Sid, and their relationship becomes much better. The Shashank/Anjali/Juhi/Vardhan dynamics are also nicely built up, and frankly the more interesting overarching plotline of the show.
The Medical Stuff
They seem to be going for a Grey’s Anatomy type of vibe, I think, focusing on one or two cases over the week. Nothing as interesting as in Grey’s, here it’s more routine kinda cases, but there does seem to be more focus on medicine than there ever was in DMG, which I’m kinda thankful for. While yes, I’m interested in the interpersonal dynamics, I also wanna see these people do their jobs (rather than just canoodling/having angsty fights in stairways and on-call rooms.) With other shows, I really really hate when a day goes on and on for weeks, but in this show, it’s realistic. Residents do often have to do 24 - 36 hour shifts, and each week being about one shift, it’s well-encapsulated; I like how the show flows from one day/shift/case to another.
The Acting
The seniors (Mohnish, Gurdeep, Sayantani) remain the best part, as expected, turning in consistent performances. Surbhi’s performance has toned down considerably, and that’s a big relief. The show would have been unwatchable if she hadn’t. Namit is still weak in some regards (like crying; god that one scene in Week 2 was really bad) but is getting better. He’s best in scenes where he has to be soft and considerate (comforting Anjali/Ishani/Sanya/Neeti etc.) or taking charge of things, coz he plays both these aspects confidently. I also like the chemistry when paired with Surbhi, because he plays off her really well. Only upwards from here, I should hope. The others are.... eh. They’re background characters, so they do what is expected of them.
The Characters
Sid: Sid’s the character that’s grown on me the most compared to the first week. They’ve thankfully toned down his fuckboy-ness waaaaaay down (not sure why they decided to introduce him that way, when it doesn’t even seem to be true of his character aside from in the pilot.) We find out a little more about his social background/family, and it explains why/how he is the way he is. I appreciate his camaraderie with Ishani; he’s obviously fond of her, and attracted to her as well (but in a casual way), but knows she has a lot to learn about how this place works and tries to be a good supporting team member to her, but not to the point where he lets her run amok. He tries to justify his ways to her, but is also willing to let her try her own things in the off case it does pay off; but always has a Plan B in his back pocket, because he knows things don’t work out as expected around here. I like his quiet confidence and integrity, but that he’s also willing to not mince words and/or throw hands if and when absolutely required. Not very realistic of a doctor, but eh, this is Tellywood. Chalta hai.
Ishani: Thankfully, Ishani has mellowed down quite a bit and isn’t as intolerable as she was in the first week. She’s quickly learning that things at Sanjivani are not as they appear and that her initial judgement of Sid was way too hasty/harsh, and has formed a delicate alliance with him. Not to say that she isn’t a stickler for rules anymore, or approves of his on-the-fly, jugaadu/sometimes outright wily ways to skirt around the rules, but she’s trying her best to maintain a balance; in how she tries to help the people who need it, in the most forthright manner. But she’s definitely more comfortable being flexible with “the rules” than she realizes. Her germophobia prevents her from getting comfortable with Sid’s physical proximity whenever he tries to comfort her/express thanks, but I think she appreciates the sentiment.
Shashank: God, I’m so grateful he’s still here. He’s kind of out of sorts due to the surgery, but he’s still very aware and involved in what’s going on in Sanjivani. His gentle battle with Anjali persists, with the latest episode making him give some leeway to her, quite unwillingly though.
Juhi: Beyond Shashank’s surgery, she didn’t really make much of an impression on me in these 2 weeks. She takes the COS job in a spur-of-the-moment decision, purely in an emergency situation, than really actually wanting it. She does a good enough job, stern and smart with the rioting mob/Vardhan, and compassionate and understanding with Ishani, but I do anticipate lots of trouble coming her way in the position. Especially with Rahul lurking mysteriously in the shadows, in cahoots with Vardhan.
Anjali: NOT ENOUGH ANJALI AS I WANT!!!!!! All we do see Anjali doing is either be hysterical during surgery, or sulking over not getting the COS post. For godssake, she’s an HOD, a competent doctor in her own right, can we see her at work too? I want to see her be the kickass boss bitch I know she is; maybe taking a few of these many million juniors under her wing and mentoring them? (She seems to have a good relationship with Sid, it would be nice to see that extend to some others too?) There was one good scene between Shashank and her where they peacefully discuss their issues at the end of this week, but I really need Anjali to DO more than just be standing around feeling bad for herself/manipulated by Vardhan/sniping at Juhi/being passive-aggressive at Shashank. I like that she was upfront enough with Juhi about not liking her, but I don’t like how they’re centering her whole character around just that. You’ve already done this character dirty in one iteration (DMG), please do not waste this chance to showcase the complex personality she is!
Vardhan: A kinda compelling asshole. He has a son that he keeps talking to on the phone, whom seems to dote on and wants to make the best impression on. But harkatein kaafi kameeni. But I also feel marginally sympathetic to him, because he’s trying his best to keep Sanjivani afloat financially. Drs. Shashank and Juhi’s bleeding-heart ways are admirable and all, but the ground realities of running an organization are quite different; and Vardhan is answerable to multiple people above him about it. So yeah I do hate him when he’s doing pettyass evil shit like booting a poor person off a donor list, but in some cases - esp. PR/admin/financial issues, I can see where he’s coming from. I just wish they’d stop making him so caricatureish in his villainy at times and kept him a slick evil, like most corporate types are.
Rishabh: Asshole Jr., but not at all compelling or complex like Vardhan. Just an outright classist asshole, looking to suck up to Vardhan and other richie-rich fuckers and get Sid in trouble. He’s the most annoying part of the show, honestly, constantly lurking around with his phone and filming Sid. Jeez, get a damn life, loser.
Rahil: So sweet and unproblematic, why don’t we see him more (instead of the irritating Rishabh)????? GIVE US MORE RAHIL!!!!!!!
Asha & Aman: They might as well have made them twins, coz they’re so alike (even have matchy-matchy names!) I despise when they unthinkingly run their mouths and blurt out whatever the hell they’re thinking, even to waaaay senior doctors like Juhi and Shashank. Their no-filter admonishments are quite welcome in the case of Ishani though, where they drill some sense into her head. Ultimately, they do have their hearts in the right place and are sincere doctors (if not the most knowledgeable), and I enjoy them in limited amounts; like in the scene where they’re watching Sid and Ishani brawling over the liver.
Asha: Tu idhar mitti ka dher bana khada hai, inki fight rok na??? Aman [watching Sid and Ishani literally bucking at each other while holding an icebox with a liver inside it]: Abbe pagal ho gayi hai ke, baukhlaaye hue saand se ho rakhe hain. Dulatti nahi khaani maine inki!
Neil: Like Rahil, he seems to be sweet and unproblematic, but I get the feeling that he suffers from some kinda health issue? He fainted at the first case out in the field (the bomb blast), Aman mentions he fainted again seeing a corpse that could donate a liver, and he seemed very out of breath when he came to inform Sid/Ishani about another liver donor. I find it hard to believe that a first year resident could be this squeamish about things you get used to by the end of med school, so I really think there’s something else going on here. Is he going to be the Dr. Omi equivalent (the tragically ill character) of this season? I would like to see more of him (than the other jr. residents), because the actor is very measured and likable.
Rahul: We haven’t SEEN him yet, but we have heard him and what we’ve heard......... Does not bode well. I haven’t seen Sanjivani 1, so I don’t know the character as such, but wasn’t he the lead? They’re bringing him back but as an antagonist? Seems quite out-of-character, but I am veryyyyyyyy intrigued about this development, and especially how Juhi fits into all of this.
Overall Rating: 3.5/5
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yanagi-uxinta · 6 years ago
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Adam Taurus, fandom, and redemption.
Okay this is my first proper RWBY analysis post because after several weeks of having mine and several other fans’ opinions misconstrued and shit on just because we like a *problematic character* I’m fed up. So if you don’t like Adam, you’re sick of all the RWBY bickering on your dash, or you just want to look at cat pictures and chill, best give this post a miss.
For all my annoyed tone, I’m going to try and bring this down and do an actual examination of Adam in general, why his fans are frequently said to want his character to be redeemed (whether we do or not), and what we mean by ‘redemption’ in the first place. I will not use this post to shit on people’s ships or anything like that, and honestly Bumblebee probably won’t have much or anything to do with this analysis at all.
Disclaimer: I am only speaking for myself. I know several other Adam fans who will likely agree with me, in the broad strokes of my argument if not the fine detail, but there are going to be those who disagree completely with what I say. This is just my take on what the hell has happened to the reaction to Adam’s character and the fandom since the end of volume 6. Of course there will be spoilers so if you’ve not seen the last few episodes of volume 6 yet, don’t continue reading! The rest will be under the cut with spoilers from the outset.
So since Adam’s death in the show, a lot of discussion has centred around how his writing was handled, both for his character and for the larger Faunus discrimination plot that his character tied into. While I may not personally have enjoyed the turn his character took, I will not be berating the writers for that or shouting about Monty, as that isn’t fair to anyone, is disrespectful to Monty himself, and we’ve always got fanfiction for our ‘I would have preferred this’ scenarios.
Looking at the writing alone, let’s have a recap of what we’ve got, focusing first on what we see of him, then what other characters say about him. This is going to get long, fair warning, as quite a few of the complaints I’ve seen on Adam reviews so far have been how people have left certain scenes and information out to support their story. I’m trying not to do that, but given I’m also summarising and trying not to quote every scene and mention, I might miss a few things. Apologies if I do.
- Adam was introduced as a high-ranking member of the White Fang.
- He was older than Blake, cast estimates say by about 5 years.
- He was a skilled swordsman with an extremely powerful semblance, and is used to leading raids for the White Fang. He started back when Ghira was in charge; this is also when he first killed in order to save Ghira’s life during a fight against humans. While he initially accepted Ghira’s admonishment, Sienna’s claim that he was a hero and the other WF members cheering him seemed to facilitate his later ruthless nature. He showed particular enjoyment when attacking SDC locations and staff, where his killing was not encouraged, but it also wasn’t punished.
- He initially believed in better rights for the Faunus, and that the White Fang would bring about a revolution.
- He shows no compassion for humans, and a willingness to kill them if they get in his way.
- He rejected Cinder’s first recruitment attempt because she was a human advocating for a ‘human cause’, despite her claiming they would both benefit.
- Cinder chose to ambush a Maiden rather than push the issue with Adam, and only returned to press-gang him into service after she had acquired half of the Fall Maiden’s power.
- Blake left between Cinder’s two visits. Adam’s lieutenant was shown swearing to bring her back, only for Adam to tell him to ‘forget it – it’s time I returned to Mistral and-’ here he is cut off by Cinder’s return.
- Adam worked with Cinder after his people were either injured or murdered by her, Emerald and Mercury, since the only options given to him were to work with her for lien and dust, or die – implied to be by immolation. Cinder had to demonstrate her Maiden powers to get him to agree since until she did, he seemed willing to fight.
- Adam had enough sway with the White Fang that even after their numerous casualties during ‘Breach’, that they continued to follow his orders.
- He participated in the Battle of Beacon, where he provided the ships in which the Grimm were smuggled in, and was seen fighting and presumably murdering Atlas soldiers and Academy students.
- This is where his anger and the first signs of abuse of Blake became apparent. He saw Beacon as an opportunity to strike back at humanity en masse; to destroy their communications and one of their main signs of strength – the Academy, despite Beacon accepting multiple Faunus students. He sees peace and equality as impossible, and undesirable. He equates Blake’s ‘impossible’ desire for an equal society with his desire for her; and rather than try to get her back, he decides to destroy everything she loves as he sets out to impose his version of justice on humankind. At this point, his two goals are balanced. He starts by amputating Yang’s arm when she, a human, comes to Blake’s defence, and would have killed her had Blake not intervened.
- After Beacon Falls, Adam is pursued by authorities, and meets all attempts to bring him into custody with ‘brutal force’.
- He returns to Sienna Khan in Mistral. Here he is ‘punished’ for his participation in the Battle of Beacon, but we get no details on what that is, only that it wasn’t as severe as it could have been. Adam does not seem affected by the punishment at all, and pressures Sienna to agree to the attack on Haven. It is implied he has explained his deal with Cinder to Sienna, but we do not know to what extent or if he mentioned how he was recruited. All Sienna seems to know is that these ‘humans’ are an unknown quantity who have given Adam empty promises, and that Adam’s agreement to fight at Beacon demonstrates his talents being wasted by short-sightedness.
- Adam calls in Hazel to explain more. Here we learn that the White Fang practices execution for treasonous acts – something already covered briefly with Tuckson.
- Sienna believes the Faunus cannot win a war against humans, which seems to be her leading motivation behind not starting one as opposed to any moral reasoning. Adam disagrees, and Sienna takes the chance to listen. Adam’s argument is that the Faunus are superior, and they have the help of Hazel’s ‘master’, which would swing the war in their favour. He believes humans should serve the Faunus. Sienna does not directly rebuke him, but seems frustrated as she says she’s ‘had enough of this conversation for tonight’, and orders the guards to escort them out.
- This is when Adam’s ambitions are revealed. He performs a coup against Sienna, saying he is doing what’s best for the Faunus. He murders Sienna, pinning the death on an anonymous human huntsman, and makes her a martyr. When Hazel objects, Adam’s reasoning is that Salem was dubious about Sienna’s willingness to cooperate – with him in charge, that issue is removed.
- As High Leader, he orders the Albain brothers to slaughter Blake’s family in Menagerie, but to bring Blake to him alive after they made a stand against his leadership. Here his composure is shown to be slipping, and the Albain’s imply they will replace him if his sanity suffers too much. This is the first time we see him close to losing control; he was angry at Beacon but still completely in control of his reactions. The attack fails thanks to the Belladonnas refusing to go down easy, Blake working with Sun, and being able to convert Ilia mid-fight. The Albains are killed or imprisoned, Menagerie rallies behind Blake against Adam.
- At the attack on Haven, Adam oversees the setting of the bombs on the CCT and the Academy, and orders the small team back to ‘perimeter watch’.  Before they can, Hazel is thrown out of the building, distracting the group long enough for Blake to arrive and demand they stand down. Adam’s obsession is brought back up again; he’s amused that after the attack in Menagerie failed, Blake ‘delivered herself to him’ anyway. He is taken aback when Blake’s back-up arrives, called the ‘brothers and sisters’ of the White Fang members. In one case, this is literal. Adam insists they are enemies, but is interrupted by the arrival of the Mistral Police Force with Kali. His emotions get out of hand again; backed into a corner he tries to detonate the bombs in a mass murder-suicide attempt, which fails thanks to Ilia disarming all of the bombs. His own people start to doubt him, even as Adam justifies his actions as making humanity pay for what they’ve done – even though the vast majority of the people present are Faunus, not humans.
- When Hazel refuses to offer aid, Adam attempts to murder Blake. This is the infamous ‘dodges into the sword slash, cracks him on the back of the head’ move. This initiates a battle between the eight White Fang members, Sun, Ilia, and the Menagerie army.
- This is where Volume 5’s poor writing, pacing, and placement make things awkward (please, no arguments. While 5 had it’s enjoyable moments, even the writers have flat out said it was rushed and there is a 2 hour long video on all the placement issues of the Ruby vs Cinder team fight alone. You can like it by all means, I’m not saying don’t like it, but from a technical standpoint it’s bad). Adam is still on the ground after ordering the start of the fight, despite a battle around him, Blake running a quarter of the way around the courtyard following Hazel getting dragged back indoors by Weiss’ lancer, seeing her team, watching Yang chase Raven into the Vault, silently communing with Ruby, and running back outside around a quarter of the courtyard again... only to be standing in front of him, still kneeling on the ground, at the opening of the next episode. And when we see Blake running, she’s not doing her super-fast run from the Black trailer and choosing to be Yang’s partner back in Volume 1, it’s a normal jog. So Adam just... stayed kneeling on the ground until plot plonked Blake back in front of him rather than diving into the battle around him. I digress.
- The White Fang are overwhelmed/disarmed. Adam gets back up, says he will make Blake regret ever coming back (on her own terms, I assume he means...). More police are inbound, as are huntsmen... despite Qrow not being able to find any earlier in the season... and Blake claims she is here for Haven, not Adam – even though her sole reason for being on the continent is stopping Adam. Discrepancies aside, Adam continues to paint Blake as a coward who cannot face him without back up, claims he has powerful friends – something refuted by Sun. The White Fang are being arrested, Hazel is... offscreen pissing off everybody else with his semblance, and Blake says she has ‘more important thing to deal with’ than Adam making her regret coming to Haven. Adam gets pissed, attacks Blake and Sun for a few seconds, then makes a run for it since the police airships have a spotlight trained on him, and as Blake speculates, he wants to lure the two of them away and pick them off.
- Adam observes Hazel fleeing with Emerald and Mercury, and chooses not to make contact.
- This is where the short confuses the timeline slightly. I’ll go with what I think makes the most sense/is implied by the narrative.
- Adam returns to the WF throne room, only to hear the remaining free WF members complaining about his abandonment at Haven. Considering Ilia said only Adam escaped Haven, it’s unclear how the rest of the Mistral WF members knew what happened since this scene is implied to have happened as soon as Adam returned from Haven. Either these were a part of the ‘perimeter watch’ and weren’t accounted for by the police, Ilia was wrong about the success of the police (unlikely as we see all eight of the WF Haven group being apprehended), or this is a continuity error. Either way, Adam demands they step away from his throne, implying the group were considering a coup. Whether they were or not, Adam initially explains his demand as ‘we have work to do’. When they refuse, citing his abandonment of the WF at Haven, he repeats his demand. They refuse: ‘We’re not taking orders from you anymore. We heard you folded the moment you got sass from the Belladonna girl. I guess she’s got more control over you than you-’ It is at this point – specifically on the word ‘control’ – that Adam draws Wilt and slaughters everyone in the room. He retakes his throne seeming completely calm and not even out of breath, muses on ‘the Belladonna girl. Blake,’ stands, and slashes his throne apart and screams.
- I assume this is where the scene from the end of his short fits in, where he drops his mask in the forest and staggers as if exhausted. It seems to me that Adam has massacred every White Fang member left in the headquarters, explaining his fatigue, and in dropping the mask he is abandoning the White Fang and thus the Faunus – choosing to focus solely on Blake.
- Two weeks later, Blake sees him blindfolded and hooded on the train headed for Argus. This implies, with his admission of stalking her later, that in those two weeks he tracked her down and followed the group to the station, sneaked onto the train through the open door Qrow points out to Dee and Dudley, and was intending to take the train to Argus with the group and was waiting for a chance to get Blake alone. With the grimm attack derailing the train, Adam is taken to Argus with JNR, and presumably waits there for Blake to arrive. It is possible he is the reason for the technical issues Terra Cotta-Arc is being blamed for, but that is pure speculation and he could have been lying low for the day and a half it takes RWBY, Qrow, Oscar and Maria to arrive.
- Adam somehow becomes aware of the plan to steal an airship, or possibly follows the group to the cliffside, shadows Blake and Yang long enough to figure out where they are headed, and beats them there. Either way when Blake tries to disrupt the comms tower, she finds all the staff murdered and Adam waiting for her. Adam admits he’s followed her, waiting for her to separate from the group. In this conversation/fight, he swings between bitterness that she ever entered his life at all, and swearing he’ll never let her go again. He is inconsistent with whether he wants Blake dead, or as a trophy.
- We get to see a wider scope of Adam’s fighting abilities in his battle against Blake and later Yang. He attempts to psychologically manipulate and intimidate both as well as physically fighting them. He refuses their attempts to defuse the situation, turning the scenario into life-or-death. When he is disarmed by Yang, rather than shoot one of them with the gun still on his belt, he instead dives for the broken Gambol Shroud, racing Blake. Blake and Yang prove faster – though there are a few minor placement issues here as well, with how far Adam is from the sword after catching his foot on it and taking two steps away, as well as how close his hand was to it in the shot before Blake seizes it – and is killed when both girls stab him with the broken pieces through the chest and back. He staggers to the cliff edge and falls, his body hitting the rocks before falling into the river below.
We hear about Adam via Blake more than we see him on screen. In order:
- Blake calls him a partner or mentor, who changed, and whose ideal world wasn’t perfect for everyone – i.e. humans. Given her descriptions of the White Fang to Weiss and her sketching Adam in her notebook as if she misses him, at this point in time it seems like Blake still thought Adam was misguided like the WF, forced to take drastic measures in the face of the racism espoused by humans like Weiss and Cardin, who called the White Fang pure evil and the Faunus animals respectively. However she still called him a monster for the actions he took, which made her run away. She later calls him someone very dear to her, and describes how he changed – gradually. Little choices that built up that he told her not to worry about; starting as accidents, then self defence, until even Blake was convinced he was right. We see one of these conversations in the short, where Adam has recently killed on a mission and Blake is calling him on it. Adam very quickly and easily turns the conversation around – placing the death as an unavoidable casualty of fighting, himself as the person willing to do what has to be done for the cause, and implying Blake wants him to abandon the Fang, ‘like her parents’. This changes the argument on Blake, leaving her to refute a claim she never made, give him support when he professes his fear she doesn’t believe in him anymore, and does not address the actual issue she brought up. Talking to Sun, Blake goes through her own changing perception of him – how he was justice, then passion, but she later saw him not as hatred or rage, but spite. ‘He won't accept equality, only suffering for what he feels the world did to him, and his way of thinking is dangerously contagious.’ The word ‘feels’ here is complicated, since we now know what the world did to him and it was genuinely horrific, but ‘feels’ implies that it is an imagined slight; something Adam has blown out of proportion. Blake later tells Yang that ‘he never really liked people telling him what to do.’ She says that he’s strong, but his real power comes from control – he would get into her head and make her feel small, which she now says was him pulling her down to his size (I mean he’s six foot four, so how tall was Blake to start off with?).
So that’s Adam in a recap. While the slow change Blake talks about isn’t shown much, we do see his continuing changes in the show – he does go from someone whose focus was Faunus revolution, to revenge against humanity and Blake, to believing only he can lead the Faunus – ironically echoing Blake, who thought she was the only one who could figure out the White Fang’s plans back in volume 2 – and murdering his mentor to do so, to abandoning the Faunus cause entirely when it becomes apparent that he is no longer in control of the White Fang, because Blake tarnished his reputation, and thus deciding to hunt her down to the exclusion of all else. We see his ambitions rise as his emotions spiral out of control, and it is emotions – so well contained in his first appearances – that get him killed when in his anger he forgets he has a gun on his belt and instead goes for a broken sword.
Adam is proven to be a horrible, violent person, even if he started out differently – something we don’t see directly as an audience; the closest we get is his silent moment of regret after his first murder. So how come so many people were invested in his character, when what we’ve seen of him has been so consistently bad and cruel?
Some people just like a good villain – which Adam was, when he had the complexity of both Faunus rights and going after Blake. A lot of people didn’t like the reveal he was an abuser in volume 3, preferring the revolutionary character who felt betrayed by a partner in a freedom fighting army, compared to the ex-boyfriend angry at the girl who left him and put that personal insult on an equal level with fighting for the rights of his entire species. Personally I didn’t mind the twist, though I do think they should have built it up a bit more prior to the reveal – Blake only expresses her discomfort at his treatment of humans and how violent he became in the White Fang raids before Beacon, and never implies he was abusive towards her. This of course could be her needing the distance and time to realise it, and the Fall of Beacon being the biggest wake-up call possible, but we don’t get any confirmation of that. Either way, I liked the volume 3 Adam. He not only thought he was fighting for his people, he had a personal stake in Blake’s story, and it was the level of threat he presented to Blake and the rest of the main cast that made him intriguing and something to look forward to, even though his actions were despicable. It was the conflict he offered that made him a character I liked. He presented not only a physical threat, but a philosophical one as well – because his methods got results. Blake’s didn’t – her parents already proved that.
But what about those who didn’t like that, who just wanted the revolutionary, and the student-mentor relationship between him and Blake? Or those who lost interest in Adam after volume 5, and only gained it back in 6 after his face reveal? From what I can see, a lot of it has to do with that reveal of the SDC scar on his face.
The SDC is well known for its atrocious working conditions and reliance on Faunus labour. As we discover in volume 6, they brand Faunus. This explains Adam’s ruthlessness in the SDC portions of his short and the Black trailer; he is striking back at the place that abused and marked him, even if the individuals he’s attacking had nothing to do with his personal trauma.
Now for all our speculation, we don’t know how or when Adam was branded. What we do know is the SDC branded a Faunus not only on his face, but over his eye, permanently disfiguring and blinding him on that side. Whether they practice slavery or not is not yet confirmed, though given the connotations of branding – like ranchers do to cattle – it is highly likely.
I’ve seen a few references to how in different parts of history, known criminals were often branded or permanently marked in some way or other so they’d be recognised, raising the possibility that Adam was branded after a botched raid on the company. However, in these historical instances where the marking was a part of the law, there was a set designation for the brand – for example, in ancient Rome marked robbers with ‘F’, and in Britain in the mid-1500s brawlers were branded with an ‘F’ for ‘fraymaker’. If Remnant’s punishment of criminals involves branding – something that has been largely abolished since the 1800s in our world – then they would not brand them with a company name.
Given Remnant is meant to be (very approximately) socially analogous to our so-called first world civilisations depending on what aspect you’re looking at, I highly doubt branding is an accepted legal punishment. That places the convention and the blame solely on the SDC – and if that is the case, then they have some very worrying analogues to branding in American slavery practices. Some would have a set logo they would use, others would use a basic hot iron and try to make a particular symbol or letter, as is the case of a Micajah Ricks, who when describing a runaway slave he was looking for, ‘burnt her with a hot iron, on the left side of her face, I tried to make the letter M’.  Now we know that Remnant as a whole outlawed slavery back when the Vytal Treaty was signed 80 years before the show began, but that hasn’t stopped effective slavery continuing today in prisons and it still occurs in certain parts of the diamond trade today, so the SDC practicing slavery dressed up as employment - or hidden entirely - is not outside the realm of possibility. 
If my speculation here is accurate, then what Adam’s face reveal tells us is that he was a slave, and was branded either to mark him as property, or for attempting to escape. We know the branding was done a long time ago as it seems fully healed, but we do not know how old Adam was when it occurred – if he was a child or not. We don’t have an official age for him, but if I recall Arryn and Barb estimated his age to be around 23 when volume 3 was airing or just finished, making him approximately 25 in volume 6. According to the NHS website entry on burns, ‘more severe and deeper burns can take months or even years to fully heal, and usually leave some visible scarring.’ Given the extent of Adam’s scarring, we know his was a deep burn, at least a third degree – and with how dark some of the discolouration is, it’s possible the deepest sections were fourth degree, which indicates tissue death. The site says that burns can be sensitive to direct sunlight for up to three years, though to take care to use factor 50 sunscreen on the burn and avoid direct midday sun as much as possible after this period as well. Even if Adam was branded after a failed raid with the White Fang, we seem him first don the mask in his character short back when Ghira was leader – five years or more before the show. If Adam was 23 during 3, he was either 23 or 22 at the start of Volume 1, not counting the trailers where he was likely 22. Five years before volume 1 would make him 18. Assuming the Adam short opening was after the burn had fully healed – I’m taking three years healing period here as a ballpark – he would have been 15 at the oldest when he was branded.
Now this speculation is based off assumptions, since all we know about Adam’s backstory is that he was branded by the SDC. That’s it. But I hope that this speculation is at least reasonable and rational, and backed up with enough evidence to at least be plausible. So if you’re still with me this far, we have either a child or a teenager being branded on his face for either criminal activity – and given Ghira was peaceful and did not condone Sienna’s later tactics, it’s doubtful Adam was working for the White Fang if this brand was because of a crime – or because he was a slave, who may have tried to escape.
And people wonder why anyone has even a shred of sympathy for the character.
Seriously though, the scar reveal makes all of Adam’s actions against humanity understandable, if not justifiable. The revolutionary people liked at the start received more backing and rationale for his actions, and even some of Adam’s more ambitious and villainous actions started to make sense – his coup against Sienna, for example. Adam had become so twisted by his hatred of humanity that a partnership he was initially forced into at fire-point became, in his mind, the best chance he had to get revenge on humanity – and Sienna wasn’t on board with that alliance or their actions, so he justified her murder as the Faunus needing him instead of her, because only he could bring them the justice they deserved.
The scar was also when a lot of people started raising the possibility of a redemption arc. Now the desire had been there before, since the very beginning in fact. But this was when it started looking like a genuine possibility, with the knowledge that the team were heading to Atlas, the source of Adam’s abuse, next. I know when I saw the reveal, my fears they were going to kill him off this season were eased a bit – surely this was setting up a future plot point? Why make the brand SDC if it wasn’t; any other brand – simple numbers even – would have conveyed the same story and had the same impact, without making it look like Adam would be a part of the future story.
And yes, I said ‘this season’. Adam I feel was always going to die, and a lot of his fans were fine with that. What we have issue with is the execution (no pun intended) of his death – something lots of people have already covered. What I want to focus on is the reason ‘redemption’ was bandied about as a possibility.
Now, let me clarify what I mean by redemption. I think when people see the word they think what we wanted was Adam to become good, to have his sins forgiven and to become a hero in reality and not just in his mind, to team up with RWBY and go up against Salem, potentially going down saving Blake as a last act of goodwill, or surviving to lead the White Fang and Faunus properly.
That’s not what I wanted. That’s not what most of us wanted.
When a lot of the Adam fans I’ve talked to mentioned ‘redemption’, there were two things we wanted. One was for the writers to redeem their bad handling of him (and everything else) in volume 5. Of particular note is how sudden the change is in his character between 3 and his first ‘live’ appearance after becoming High Leader as the holo-message to the Albains.  The only scene between the two is his coup against Sienna, where his ambitions and ruthless rationale become clear, along with how content he is with his deal with Salem, but where - like in 3 - he is overwhelmingly in control. Sienna was already overthrown before that scene even starts, she (and the audience) just doesn’t realise it. Yet the next scene we have of Adam, he’s screaming in fury - and this isn’t the raised voice of Heroes and Monsters, where he tells Blake ‘what you want is impossible’. This is an uncontrolled emotion that he visibly has to fight to rein in - compounded by Fennec’s comment that ‘he seems unwell’. With that one line, Adam’s character is changed - he is now unstable when prior to this scene, he was one of the most collected characters on the show, even in the face of defiance from both Blake and Sienna. A lot of people see this scene as the beginning of the end, if not the outright death, of Adam’s character.
By and large the writers managed to claw back Adam’s respectability in 6, with the exception of how he died - it being that instability and emotional lack of control that got him killed. The other thing Adam fans wanted when discussing redemption was for Adam to find balance again as a villain. Let him be a threat. Let him be terrifying. But don’t let his existence revolve around Blake, especially now we’ve seen his face and know what his original motivations were. If she gets in his way in his pursuit of justice, great. He’ll go after her and her loved ones. But he won’t go out of his way to do so. His desire to elevate the Faunus should have stayed strong. Yes, some people wanted Adam to forget Blake entirely and just focus on helping the Faunus, but I feel that would have been too big a reversal for his character. Adam is a villain, and the vast majority of us don’t mind that. We like that; it’s one of his selling points. He’s one of the most effective ones in the show (again, ignoring volume 5 where everyone became an idiot, hero and villain alike).
We all know Cinder is evil and is totally remorseless about the Fall of Beacon and the lives lost, same as Adam. We know she has a personal grudge against one of the main characters, and wants to kill or severely harm them, again, same as Adam. We know both want power. And when they divert from their original purpose, it is to get revenge on a member of the main cast. The difference? Adam succeeds. He helps destroy Beacon. He provides a direct threat to two of the main cast. Even in the weakest volume, he becomes the leader of the White Fang and would have succeeded in blowing up Haven had Blake not had prior warning of his plan and turned up to stop him – Team RWBY had no idea he was there or what his plan was; if Cinder and co’s plan had gone as they thought it would (so Vernal was actually the Spring Maiden) I imagine after killing Ruby and Qrow and securing the relic, their plan would have been to use Raven to teleport out before Adam detonated the bombs. When Adam abandons the White Fang, he finds Blake within a few days to two weeks and stalks her until he gets the chance to confront her. Cinder is responsible for the Fall of Beacon, but when presented with the chance to get revenge on Ruby, the character she’s been murdering illusions of since Beacon, she goes after Jaune instead (and fails to kill anyone except Vernal). Cinder gains the full Maiden powers, yes, but almost immediately loses her social power amongst Salem’s group when she’s maimed by a fifteen year old and does not gain that power or influence back. She is ostracised from Salem’s group because of her failure at Haven, leaving her a vagabond having to murder and steal for money and clothes to try and buy information – on Ruby. Yet Cinder never comes into contact with Ruby all season.  
This is one of the reasons why Adam is more compelling – though I won’t say likable – than Cinder. The other is we actually have a glimpse of his backstory supporting his goals, unlike Cinder who could have popped up fully formed watching Emerald steal and we’d be none the wiser.
It is also why most of us were fine with Adam dying. He’s a villain, and villains tend to die and deserve it. It’s the way he died, and the timing, that annoyed us and sparked this whole month-long debate. A lot of our complaints could probably have been averted if a) the scar had said anything other than SDC, b) if he’d not forgotten about his gun OR he’d forgotten about it earlier in the match to foreshadow his lapse in concentration later, and c) Yang’s line about who he was pretending to be. It’s a good line, don’t get me wrong, but it does not make sense for Yang to say it. If Blake had said it, it would have worked and given us more insight into Adam – that he’d changed far earlier than we first though, and kept the facade going to keep Blake sweet. But Yang doesn’t know him. She knows very little about him, and she and Blake have had one very short conversation about him since Beacon, during which Blake never implies that Adam was pretending to be better than he was. If the line had been ‘the person you used to be’, then fine, great, that works perfectly because it’s consistent with the knowledge Yang has of him.  
There’s also the group that say Blake and Yang murdered him, and it wasn’t self-defence. I’ll be honest, I’m on the fence. Did they have other options, once he was disarmed? Yeah, probably. His aura was broken and Yang, a hand-to-hand fighter, was behind him. She could have sucker punched him and knocked him out rather than slowing down to pick up a broken sword to stab him with. Did they feel like they had those options, in the moment, after giving him several chances to walk away and he was diving for a weapon? Probably not.  Would I have preferred to see a scene where (if they had to kill him now) there was zero ambiguity? Yes. However the writers made their choice, and we’ll have to see what they do moving forward. I won’t be dropping the show or boycotting or anything like that, but I am disappointed in their handling of it, especially when the finale was so lacklustre. They should have saved the Adam fight for the final episode, if only to give us the emotional stakes completely lacking in the Cordovin fight.
Speaking of moving forward, I would like to see the death have an impact in the next volume. There wasn’t much time in the finale for an in-depth look at Blake and Yang’s emotional state, but this is something that should be explored in volume 7. Killing a human is different to killing Grimm, and while team RWBY have been guilty of endangering or ending lives before (hi nameless White Fang goons on the exploding train!) the narrative has never addressed it, and I feel this is a good place to. Adam wasn’t just a faceless, nameless enemy who you didn’t directly kill, even if you left them to the Grimm or they got caught in an explosion you survived. He was Blake’s mentor, partner, lover, and nightmare, and she killed him with her own hands. He was only ever a monster to Yang, one who changed her life forever and haunted her ever since, but he was a person and she killed him and saw how devastated Blake was afterwards. Blake had an emotional breakdown in the immediate aftermath, but this was used to reinforce her relationship with Yang instead of explore her complex relationship with Adam in its final moments, and I feel like one scene where only one of the two characters is upset over what they did is not enough to cover a subject that should be quite deep and managed tactfully.
All we can do is hope that the writers do well next volume, and given how strong the majority of volume 6 was I think they will. They’ve shown their willingness to take feedback on board, and while nothing else can be done with Adam’s character (unless as Kerry says they decide to pull a Darth Maul), I hope they do the impact he’s had on the characters justice and we get to see a more in-depth look at the conditions that made him who he was: a warped, broken man who was a victim, a survivor, but who took the wrong path and became a villain.
Edits: Included a couple of points thanks to a friend on Discord and @blek-is-a-cat, thanks to you both!
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din-skywalker · 7 years ago
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A Deal to Break Deals
Heeeyyyy it’s been a while since I posted some of my writing! But here’s an original story with some original characters that I just finished writing and wanted to share with ya’ll! I hope ya’ll enjoy! And, if you did and want to see more, please, let me know!
The small, wooden door that was the apparent entrance to the seemingly abandoned hut appeared to tower over Hala as she approached, her bushy tail curling in and around her leg. She reaches up and hesitantly scratches at the underside of her muzzle, ears plastering down to her head as she stares across at the hut. She hadn’t wanted to ever come here. Only the truly desperate and self sacrificing came here. Or anyone searching for a clean killer to do their dirty business with a simple spell or curse. But, Hala is very desperate currently. Her paw’s toes wrap around the locket that her mother had tossed to her before being dragged away and knocks on the wood, glancing at the loud, hollow noise it makes each time her fist connects with it. She swallows heavily as the sound of thudding and soft cursing reaches her ears which slowly angle back upwards, catching every strange word muttered under the being’s breath. She clasps her paws in front of her and shakes her head, clearing her throat to try and calm herself.
But then the door slowly creams open to a narrow slit and all she can see is a beady yet glowing yellow eye peeking from the shadows inside. She sets her jaw and digs one of her dull claws into the palm of her paw, the tip of her tail flicking nervously. The beady slowly blinks, closing the only light currently showing for a split second. Then, a raspy voice reaches her, “And who are you?” The being sounds sickly yet strong at once, their voice echoing in the still night.
Hala shifts on her bottom paws and chews on her tongue, lowering her soft green eyes for a moment. She keeps her black ears perked, however, listening to the heavy breathing coming from the strange being inside. “Hala,” she replied finally. “And I have come for a deal.” As she says this she raises a glowing crystal ball so the yellow eye can see. It widens and disappears, the door opening fully a moment later. The being on the other side is almost nothing like the tales she’s heard.
She’s heard that the infamous witch doctor Nova should be shorter and more hunched with wrinkling skin and unkempt feathers. She’d never heard that the infamous witch doctor Nova is tall with a straight spine, their feathers perfectly smooth and groomed. In fact, they are so well kept the small black swirls of the buts of space which are apart of Nova appear to be even more beautiful feathers of their’s. Their skin is smooth and it shines, their beak gleaming in the moonlight. Their winged arms have a medium amount of muscle, showing they could hold their own in  a fight if need be. A wood string necklace hangs around their thin and long neck, a small gem glowing a light blue hanging from the bottom.
She also hadn’t expected there to be literal stars among their feathers.
She’d heard rumors that Nova would capture stars and souls and place them among their feathers, but she hadn’t thought them to be true. Yet, there they are, shining brightly and near blindingly just like the stars dotting the sky above them currently.
“Yes, of course,” they say, their s’s long and drawn out. Their beak shines with a recently used cleaning agent; probably made solely for beaks. There are different kinds of cleaning agents, after all. There are brands for claws, talons and, of course, beaks. Most birds pride themselves on the cleanness of their beaks. The vulture raises one of their hands and Hala catches the sight of metal claws amoring their fingers. She finds that curious. Why would Nova need fake, metal talons when they should have their natural array? She ponders this as she studies the elegant curves and carvings in the metal as they signal for her to come in.
Hala steps inside, eyes widening as she takes a step inside. Inside the small hut is a small, circular room which is crowded with shelves covered in bottles of various, glowing liquids and items. Different kinds of strange plants hand from the ceiling which brush her shoulders as she walks through. Farthest to the left is a large cauldron filled with bubbling, green liquid, fire burning at wood beneath the pot. Farthest to the right are two tables; one for sitting and eating(or at least Hala thinks so) and one for mixing potions and crushing plants. Though, of course, she could be wrong.
She watches the witch doctor walk to one of the tables and she recalls the many terrifying tales that had been whispered among the other children in her small town. Nova has always been known as a truly terrible being of the Constallian species that will tear your soul from your body with you wide awake. Yet, so far, they appear to be docile. Though looks could be very deceiving, as she’s recently learned.
Nova gestures to the other chair on the other side of the shaky table, the metal claws shining. She briefly caught the gleaming of more gold hanging around their feather covered wrists as she let herself drop in the chair, tightly clutching to the glowing orb she had brought.
“So, child,” Nova began and they lean forward, many of their feathers ruffling and popping out of place. She doesn’t want to think about how long it must take to brush them down every morning. She also doesn’t want to think about how hard it must be to keep them so clean, especially with what she presumes to be stars littered about between each feather. “What is it that you require? That is quite a legendary stone you have with you.”
Hala glances at the considerably sized sphere in her hand and runs one of her paws along its smooth surface. The glowing hums even brighter, bringing more green light to the room. Nova is watching the ball curiously, their yellow eyes slowly blinking as it brightens.
“My mother,” Hala began, placing the sphere directly in front of her on the table. Her tail tip twitches from its place on the floor, “was kidnapped by the pack of wolves nearby. I need your help to rescue her.”
Nova hums before clicking their tongue, tapping their sharp talons along the surface of the table which creaks beneath their hand. “And why not seek other, much more cheap help?” they question, their voice low and gentle, yet it continues to hum with untold power. She could basically hear every single star strewn about in their coat of feathers dotting their tone. If that made any sense, anyway.
“Because,” she hums now, dragging one of her claws along the orb’s surface, “my father made a deal with the wolves ages ago and we need help to get out of it. That’s why they took her.”
“A supernatural deal?” Nova asked, leaning back into their chair. She flinches as it creaks loudly, threatening to break. Yet they pay it no mind. She nods to confirm their question and they sigh. “You’d rather keep this fact on the low side, hm?” As she nods once more they gesture to the green sphere, “And what makes you think that is payment enough for my services?”
She swallows heavily and quickly grasps her chest, shutting her eyes to steel herself before speaking once more, “If you help us, you can have the sphere and my soul.”
She had been expecting the vulture to laugh or to take her soul and the orb right then and there. She hadn’t expected Nova to click their tongue in admonishment and reach out, wrapping their metal talons around her wrist to slowly pull it down. She cracks an open to meet one of his, surprised to see a gentle reassurance lighting the glowing eyes.
“That will not be necessary,” Nova said, releasing her wrist. She watches them pull it back, hardly catching the sight of multiple, ugly scars painting the skin of their hand, each one going beneath a metal talon. She frowns at the sight and glances to their other hand. The same scars stick from their skin there as well. But, of course, she doesn’t say anything about them, only meets the vulture’s beady eyes in confusion. “Though, you should not give your soul up so easily. Someone may take advantage of that one day.” They reach out and grab the green orb, the talons scraping the surface as they stand, keeping an eye on Hala. “This shall be enough payment. I will help you. Return home for tonight and prepare for a long journey tomorrow.”
Hala darts to her bottom paws, tail ticking up in shock, jaw hanging open as she watches the vulture’s back disappear behind another door. She had presumed the tales of the witch doctor Nova to be true. She had presumed them to be a being of pure evil who would take any chance to steal a soul and add it to their collection.
Yet, she’s made a deal with them, soul still intact and her heart pounding. She rushes out the door to listen to their words, knowing it would be a long journey into wolf territory.
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bountyofbeads · 6 years ago
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https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/trumps-defense-nominee-addresses-violent-incident-between-ex-wife-son-amid-fbi-vetting-process/2019/06/18/e46009de-190b-11e9-a804-c35766b9f234_story.html?utm_term=.fbcbea27abb4
NEW: There’s MUCH more to the Shanahan backstory. His son also assaulted his ex-wife with a baseball bat. As Shanahan wrestled with whether to pull his nomination, he told all in lengthy interviews Monday and Tuesday with The Washington Post.
As Trump’s defense pick withdraws, he addresses violent domestic incidents
By Aaron C. Davis AND Shawn Boburg | Published June 18 at 1:15 PM |Washington Post | Posted June 18, 2019
In the months that he has served as President Trump’s acting secretary of defense, Patrick Shanahan has worked to keep domestic violence incidents within his family private. His wife was arrested after punching him in the face, and his son was arrested after a separate incident in which he hit his mother with a baseball bat. Public disclosure of the nearly decade-old episodes would re-traumatize his young adult children, Shanahan said.
On Tuesday, Trump announced in a tweet that Shanahan would not be going through with the nomination process, which had been delayed by an unusually lengthy FBI background check, “so that he can devote more time to his family.”
Shanahan spoke publicly about the incidents in interviews with The Washington Post on Monday and Tuesday.
“Bad things can happen to good families . . . and this is a tragedy, really,” Shanahan said. Dredging up the episode publicly, he said, “will ruin my son’s life.”
In November 2011, Shanahan rushed to defend his then-17-year-old son, William Shanahan, in the days after the teenager brutally beat his mother. The attack had left Shanahan’s ex-wife unconscious in a pool of blood, her skull fractured, and with internal injuries that required surgery, according to court and police records.
Two weeks later, Shanahan sent his ex-wife’s brother a memo arguing that his son had acted in self-defense.
“Use of a baseball bat in self-defense will likely be viewed as an imbalance of force,” Shanahan wrote. “However, Will’s mother harassed him for nearly three hours before the incident.”
Details of the incidents have started to emerge in media reports about his nomination, including a USA TODAY report Tuesday about the punching incident in 2010.
In an hour-long interview Monday night at his apartment in Virginia, Shanahan, who has been responding to questions from The Post about the incidents since January, said he wrote the memo in the hours after his son’s attack, before he knew the full extent of his ex-wife’s injuries. He said it was to prepare for his son’s initial court appearance and that he never intended for anyone other than his son’s attorneys to read it.
“That document literally was, I sat down with [my son] right away, and being an engineer at an aerospace company, you write down what are all of the mitigating reasons something could have happened. You know, just what’s the list of things that could have happened?”
As he later wrote in the divorce case, Shanahan said Monday that he does not believe there can be any justification for an assault with a baseball bat, but he went further in the interview, saying he now regrets writing the passage.
“Quite frankly it’s difficult to relive that moment and the passage was difficult for me to read. I was wrong to write those three sentences,” Shanahan said.
“I have never believed Will’s attack on his mother was an act of self-defense or justified. I don’t believe violence is appropriate ever, and certainly never any justification for attacking someone with a baseball bat.”
Kimberley Shanahan, who has since changed her name to Kimberley Jordinson, has not responded to repeated efforts by reporters to contact her via email, text, phone and social media since January seeking comment about the incidents.
Patrick Shanahan’s response when his family was split by acts of domestic violence — including steps he took to manage his son’s surrender to police and to try to keep him out of jail — is detailed in court filings that have not been previously reported. Court records also contain an earlier episode in which both Shanahan and his wife alleged they were assaulted by one other and she was arrested.
The Defense Department has long struggled with its own responses to domestic violence, and it has faced a fresh wave of criticism since shortly after Shanahan became deputy secretary of defense in July 2017.
In November of that year, an airman who had been court-martialed for assaulting his wife and stepson killed 26 people and wounded 22 others in a Texas church. A Defense Department investigation later faulted the Air Force for repeatedly failing to submit the serviceman’s fingerprints to a civilian database, which it said should have prevented him from purchasing the firearms used in the mass shooting.
Last month, the Department of Defense Office of Inspector General admonished the Army, Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps, saying they failed for decades to consistently follow policies requiring military police to thoroughly process crime scenes and to interview witnesses following allegations of nonsexual domestic abuse. The watchdog said that in 180 of 219 cases it reviewed, the branches failed to submit criminal histories and fingerprints of offending servicemen to civilian authorities.
Shanahan said his personal experience with domestic violence has taught him there are no simple policy prescriptions. He said domestic violence rates in the military will only improve if the services can change the way they talk about the stresses of serving in the armed forces in a more honest and natural way.
“There’s not one size that fits all, I mean, it’s a very complicated issue,” he said. “It’s not as simple as take this training class or apply these resources, or, you know, look for these kinds of symptoms. I mean, it’s not that simple. There are all sorts of dimensions, whether it’s mental health, or addiction, or stress in the home. It’s a very toxic concoction.
“The thing that’s probably, like a lot of other issues . . . is having a buddy system of people who really care about you and can intervene. What I’ve learned is extremely important.”
‘I WAS SEEING STARS ’
Patrick Shanahan, 56, climbed the ranks at Boeing over more than two decades, becoming vice president and general manager of the corporation’s commercial airplane program in 2008. An exacting, hard-charging executive who worked grueling hours, he earned the sobriquet “Mr. Fix It” for his ability to turn around sputtering projects worth billions of dollars, such as the aerospace giant’s delayed 787 Dreamliner program.
By 2010, Shanahan was earning more than $935,000 annually in salary and bonuses, court records show. 
But there was turbulence in Shanahan’s personal life with his wife of 24 years. Shanahan and two of his children interviewed by The Post said Kimberley was growing more erratic. One Thanksgiving, she threw the entire dinner on the floor, saying the family did not appreciate her efforts, they said. A birthday cake his daughter baked for Patrick Shanahan was similarly destroyed, they said.
Things culminated with a physical dispute in August 2010. According to Patrick Shanahan, the incident began when he was lying in bed, following an argument with Kimberley Shanahan about their oldest child.
Shanahan said he had his eyes closed, trying to fall asleep and his wife came in the bedroom and punched him in the face, then more times in his torso.
“I was seeing stars,” Shanahan said, but he didn’t react, saying he believes that only further enraged his wife.
She then began throwing her husband’s clothes out of a window, according to police and court records, and tried to set them on fire, with a propane tank she couldn’t dislodge from a barbecue grill and later with burning paper towels.
Another physical altercation ensued, with police records indicating Kimberley Shanahan swung at Patrick Shanahan. She called the police and claimed that he punched her in the stomach, an allegation he denies.
When officers arrived, they found him with a bloody nose and scratches on his face, police records show. Authorities charged his wife with domestic violence.
Shanahan later dropped the charges.
Patrick Shanahan soon filed for divorce. The file would grow to more than 1,500 pages.
‘IT WAS A HARD TIME TO SEE YOUR SON ’
Kimberley Shanahan won custody of the children and moved to Florida. Patrick Shanahan remained in Seattle, but the couple’s eldest daughter would soon rejoin him to attend college.
Shortly after midnight on Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2011, Kimberley Shanahan and William got into “a verbal dispute” over her suspicion that the 17-year-old was in a romantic relationship with a 36-year-old woman, according to a police report.
According to police, just after 1:30 a.m., William “shoved and pinned his mother against a bathroom wall” before grabbing a $400 Nike composite baseball bat “to swing at her head,” striking her multiple times.
“I attempted to run away from Will, but as I reached the laundry room, he struck me with the bat in the back of my head,” Kimberley Shanahan wrote in a court filing in the divorce case. “The last thing I remember from before I lost consciousness is the impact of the bat, and blood gushing everywhere.”
William, Sarasota police wrote, struck several blows to his mother’s head and torso and left her “to lie in a pool of blood” and then “unplugged the landline phone cord depriving the victim and [the younger brother] the use of 911 to render aid.”
As William fled the home, situated in an exclusive, barrier-island development called Bird Key just outside Sarasota, he “tossed a bottle of rubbing alcohol” to his younger brother and told him “you clean her up,” according to the police report.
The younger brother called 911 from a neighbor’s phone, according to police records.
Within hours, William contacted his father who immediately booked a predawn flight to Florida, according to court records and documents provided by the Pentagon.
Kimberley Shanahan was hospitalized early that morning and later required surgery, she wrote in a divorce filing. Among her injuries were a fractured skull and elbow, according to the police report.
While she was in the hospital, authorities began to search for William, according to records released to The Post by Sarasota police.
Police distributed a photo of Shanahan to patrol cars on Bird Key. They tried to track William’s cellphone, but it appeared to be turned off, police wrote. They canvassed a local park and bridges to the mainland. They searched a local yacht club. But there was no trace of him, according to records.
Patrick Shanahan landed in Florida just before 5 p.m. on Wednesday. He arranged to stay with William in a hotel.
“Mr. Shanahan’s response when he learned of the assault was to book Will a hotel room,” Kimberley Shanahan wrote.
Shanahan said it’s a bit of a blur.
“It was a hard time to see your son, hopefully you’ll never be in that spot some day,” he said. “I wasn’t hiding. We got a hotel and talked to the attorney and we just camped out.”
Shanahan did not visit the hospital where his ex-wife was taken, his ex-wife later wrote in a divorce filing. Instead, over four days that included Thanksgiving, Shanahan worked to assemble a defense team and to enlist family members and friends to attend an initial hearing to try to persuade a judge to let his son stay out of jail while he fought the charges.
Derek Byrd, head of a well-known Sarasota defense firm hired by Patrick Shanahan to represent his son in the criminal case, said in an interview that the elder Shanahan acted appropriately by not contacting police until his son could consult a defense attorney, a process that was delayed by the Thanksgiving holiday.
Byrd also said that Patrick Shanahan was not aware that police were searching for his son in the days after the attack.
“I don’t think Pat handled that time frame inappropriately,” Byrd said in an interview. “I think he was just doing what a reasonable dad should probably do. I’m sure the timeline looks bad on paper, but he didn’t do anything that I consider out of the ordinary, and he wasn’t hiding Will.”
Byrd said Patrick Shanahan first contacted his firm within a day of arriving in Florida, either Wednesday night or Thursday, which was Thanksgiving. He said a lawyer from the firm could not meet with the Shanahans until Friday morning, after the holiday.
Later on Friday, another attorney from the firm contacted the detective handling the case, Det. Kenneth Halpin.
According to the detective’s report, the attorney said he would arrange for the younger Shanahan to turn himself in — after two more days, on Sunday evening, Nov. 27.
“Detective Halpin trusted us to do that,” Byrd told The Post. “He said, ‘Fine.’ ”
Halpin told The Post that he could not recall the conversation but would have likely cast it differently:
“If someone calls and says they’re going to turn in a suspect on a Sunday night and he’s already lawyered up with someone who has a reputation like Byrd, for being on TV, what can you do? You can’t force an attorney to turn in his client,” Halpin said, adding that: “I’m sure I would have also told him that there’s paper out for him, so they’re still going to snatch him up, if he’s found.”
That Sunday night, Patrick Shanahan drove William to a police station to surrender, according to police records and a timeline of events prepared by the Pentagon.
His mother attended his court appearance the next morning.
“My neighbor took me to the court hearing and both of us were shocked to see Pat in the courtroom,” she wrote in the divorce, saying she had believed until then that he had been in Seattle.
‘HE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN VIOLENCE ’
Patrick Shanahan and Byrd came to the hearing prepared to plead for the younger Shanahan to remain out of custody, citing his baseball career at an exclusive youth sports academy and prep school attended by sons and daughters of major league athletes.
“He’s a college baseball prospect. He has dreams. He has a future. His father is an executive of Boeing,” Byrd said, according to an audio recording that the court released to The Post. “If he has to sit in jail for 21 days, not only is that going to traumatize him, he’s not going to finish the semester, probably get kicked off the baseball team . . . everything is going to be over for him.”
Patrick Shanahan also vouched for his son.
“He doesn’t believe in violence,” he told the judge, “I’ve never seen him act aggressively toward his brother or any other family members, so it’s a shock to me, what has happened.”
The judge declined to release William Shanahan, calling pictures of the crime scene “horrendous.”
He was initially charged with two felonies, aggravated battery and tampering with a victim, and faced up to 15 years in prison.
In the divorce filing is the four-page memo Patrick Shanahan wrote at the time.
It lists “mitigating circumstances” that should be considered in evaluating the alleged assault.
A Pentagon spokesman provided a copy of the email containing the memo retained by Shanahan’s brother-in-law, showing it had been sent on Dec. 8, 2011, two weeks after the attack, and 10 days after Patrick Shanahan was present at the court hearing with his injured ex-wife.
First, Patrick Shanahan wrote, his 17-year-old son had “acted in self-defense.”
“She fueled the situation by berating him repeatedly in his room in a manner that escalated emotionally and physically,” he wrote.
The memo continues, alleging a history of substance abuse, emotional abuse and violent tendencies by Kimberley Shanahan. “Over the last 7+ years I have worked as much as possible, partially out of a desire to avoid inevitable conflicts with Kim,” Shanahan wrote. It casts his ex-wife as the instigator in conflicts with him and their children. “It appears that when I was not around to yell at, she started becoming intensely focused on berating, terrorizing and beat them down emotionally.”
Kimberley Shanahan disputed those characterizations.
“I have always been a very loving and dedicated mom,” she wrote in a court filing responding to the memo, “and I have never emotionally abused any of my children for any period of time.”
Kevin Cameron, Kimberley Shanahan’s brother, said he was not bothered by Patrick Shanahan’s memo because he believed Shanahan wrote it before he had all of the facts about the assault.
“If anything, I believe Pat fully understands and is better equipped to deal with domestic violence than most people,” Cameron wrote in a letter to The Post. “He has seen it. He has lived it. He understands that domestic violence is real and prevalent. He understands that it can impact anyone of any age, gender, race and socioeconomic status.”
‘WE MOVED ON ’
Kris Roberts, a police officer who assisted in the search for William Shanahan, recalled that after the arrest, his father was a “hindrance” in a follow-up matter, as police investigated whether there had been an inappropriate relationship between the adult woman and William. Under Florida law, William was too young at the time to have had a consenting sexual relationship with the woman. Roberts, a retired detective with the Longboat Key Police Department, said the father, whom she could not remember by name, would not turn over his son’s cellphone.
After the surrender to police, “his father would not talk to me; he wasn’t helping,” Roberts said. “I remember he had a West Coast address, Seattle maybe, and when he left, the son’s cellphone was just gone.” Roberts said she believes Patrick Shanahan took his son’s cellphone back to Seattle with him.
Roberts said that without the cooperation of the father, the investigation fell apart. “We only had one love letter between them, but it didn’t speak to anything sexual,” Roberts said. The adult woman “soon lawyered up, too, and we moved on.”
Byrd, the attorney for William Shanahan; an attorney who represents Patrick Shanahan in Seattle; and a Shanahan spokesman said they were not aware of a formal request for the cellphone.
Prosecutors would go on to charge William as an adult with one felony: aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. He pleaded down to a third-degree felony, and in 2012, a state prosecutor agreed to a “withhold of adjudication,” curtailing the length of the sentence and probation. The post-sentencing maneuver is not recognized outside of Florida and William’s record could not be sealed or expunged in the state because it involved a violent domestic assault.
William was ordered to spend 18 months at a Florida Sheriff’s Youth Ranch and sentenced to four years’ probation. Both penalties were later reduced.
The following year, in 2013, William enrolled at the University of Washington, according to his LinkedIn page. His father had recently joined the university’s board of regents. The family had other ties to the school. Patrick’s father, Michael, had served as police chief for the university for more than two decades.
William graduated last June with a degree in political science, a university spokesman said.
Kimberley Shanahan lost custody of the couple’s youngest child in 2014, when a judge wrote that she had “engaged in abusive use of conflict that is seriously detrimental” to the child. According to multiple accounts, she is now estranged from all three of her children. At his last confirmation hearing, to become deputy secretary of defense in June 2017, all three children were sitting behind Patrick Shanahan.
None of the senators asked him about domestic violence.
Ashley Nguyen contributed from Seattle.
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reviewsfeed-blog · 7 years ago
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Happy Friday folks! I hope you are all looking forward to a fabulous weekend!!
Today I am posting another Down the TBR Hole post, in an effort to clear out my Goodreads list of unwanted books. In case anyone needs a brush up on just what this tag entails:-
This meme was started by Lia @ Lost in a Story to clear out my reading list of unwanted books. Here is how it works:
Go to your Goodreads to-read shelf.
Order on ascending date added.
Take the first 5 (or 10 if you’re feeling adventurous) books
Read the synopses of the books
Decide: keep it or should it go?
Without further ado, here are the next ten books on the TBR:-
  Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch – Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Goodreads
According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (the world’s only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655, before she exploded), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just before dinner.
So the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon—both of whom have lived amongst Earth’s mortals since The Beginning and have grown rather fond of the lifestyle—are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture.
And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist…
To be honest, this book was a no-brainer before I even re-read the synopsis. I love Pratchett’s humour, and Neil Gaiman is also an esteemed author in his own right. Whilst I wasn’t so fond of American Gods as I’d have hoped, I did enjoy Stardust. This is an easy keeper for me!
Verdict: Keep!
  The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time – Mark Haddon
Goodreads
Christopher John Francis Boone knows all the countries of the world and their capitals and every prime number up to 7,057. He relates well to animals but has no understanding of human emotions. He cannot stand to be touched. Although gifted with a superbly logical brain, Christopher is autistic. Everyday interactions and admonishments have little meaning for him. Routine, order and predictability shelter him from the messy, wider world. Then, at fifteen, Christopher’s carefully constructed world falls apart when he finds his neighbor’s dog, Wellington, impaled on a garden fork, and he is initially blamed for the killing.
Christopher decides that he will track down the real killer and turns to his favorite fictional character, the impeccably logical Sherlock Holmes, for inspiration. But the investigation leads him down some unexpected paths and ultimately brings him face to face with the dissolution of his parents’ marriage. As he tries to deal with the crisis within his own family, we are drawn into the workings of Christopher’s mind.
And herein lies the key to the brilliance of Mark Haddon’s choice of narrator: The most wrenching of emotional moments are chronicled by a boy who cannot fathom emotion. The effect is dazzling, making for a novel that is deeply funny, poignant, and fascinating in its portrayal of a person whose curse and blessing is a mind that perceives the world literally.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time is one of the freshest debuts in years: a comedy, a heartbreaker, a mystery story, a novel of exceptional literary merit that is great fun to read.
This is a book I had heard of growing up, but it wasn’t until I understood what was special about it, i.e. that the main character is autistic that I added it to the list.
One of the ladies I used to work with has an autistic nephew, and I’m curious to take a moment and see things from an autistic child’s perspective. I think we could all benefit from gaining some understanding of autism and how people think differently on the whole! It is easy for people to be labelled nowadays, “fat”, “thin”, “simple” etc. I don’t want to use any further slurs, including race and religion because frankly, I don’t condone them. I acknowledge their existence here.
This book is also a keeper!
Verdict: Keep
  Six of Crows – Leigh Bardugo
Goodreads
Criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker has been offered wealth beyond his wildest dreams. But to claim it, he’ll have to pull off a seemingly impossible heist:
Break into the notorious Ice Court (a military stronghold that has never been breached)
Retrieve a hostage (who could unleash magical havoc on the world)
Survive long enough to collect his reward (and spend it)
Kaz needs a crew desperate enough to take on this suicide mission and dangerous enough to get the job done – and he knows exactly who: six of the deadliest outcasts the city has to offer. Together, they just might be unstoppable – if they don’t kill each other first.
This is the first book I am resigning from the list. The synopsis sounds perfectly okay and readable, but doesn’t sound WOW! It lacks the pop, so it’s going to drop…
Verdict: Go
  Sleeping Giants – Sylvain Neuvel
Goodreads
A girl named Rose is riding her new bike near her home in Deadwood, South Dakota, when she falls through the earth. She wakes up at the bottom of a square hole, its walls glowing with intricate carvings. But the firemen who come to save her peer down upon something even stranger: a little girl in the palm of a giant metal hand.
Seventeen years later, the mystery of the bizarre artifact remains unsolved—its origins, architects, and purpose unknown. Its carbon dating defies belief; military reports are redacted; theories are floated, then rejected.
But some can never stop searching for answers.
Rose Franklin is now a highly trained physicist leading a top secret team to crack the hand’s code. And along with her colleagues, she is being interviewed by a nameless interrogator whose power and purview are as enigmatic as the provenance of the relic. What’s clear is that Rose and her compatriots are on the edge of unraveling history’s most perplexing discovery—and figuring out what it portends for humanity. But once the pieces of the puzzle are in place, will the result prove to be an instrument of lasting peace or a weapon of mass destruction?
An inventive debut in the tradition of World War Z and The Martian, told in interviews, journal entries, transcripts, and news articles, Sleeping Giants is a thriller fueled by a quest for truth—and a fight for control of earthshaking power.
I remember adding this book to my TBR – what drew me to it was how different it was to anything else out there! I also like the idea of the story being chronicled in the manner of articles etc instead of prose.
Verdict: Keep
  Join – Steve Toutonghi
Goodreads
What if you could live multiple lives simultaneously, have constant, perfect companionship, and never die? That’s the promise of Join, a revolutionary technology that allows small groups of minds to unite, forming a single consciousness that experiences the world through multiple bodies. But as two best friends discover, the light of that miracle may be blinding the world to its horrors.
Chance and Leap are jolted out of their professional routines by a terrifying stranger—a remorseless killer who freely manipulates the networks that regulate life in the post-Join world. Their quest for answers—and survival—brings them from the networks and spire communities they’ve known to the scarred heart of an environmentally ravaged North American continent and an underground community of the “ferals” left behind by the rush of technology.
In the storytelling tradition of classic speculative fiction from writers like David Mitchell and Michael Chabon, Join offers a pulse-pounding story that poses the largest possible questions: How long can human life be sustained on our planet in the face of environmental catastrophe? What does it mean to be human, and what happens when humanity takes the next step in its evolution? If the individual mind becomes obsolete, what have we lost and gained, and what is still worth fighting for?
I’m a little on the fence about this one. I’ve had to have a good long think about it.
I love the idea of the book exploring advancement in technology and individuality (or the lack of). I feel my reservations are the result of thinking the synopsis isn’t written all that well. I’m going to keep it tentatively based on potential.
Verdict: Keep
  Three Parts Dead – Max Gladstone
Goodreads
A god has died, and it’s up to Tara, first-year associate in the international necromantic firm of Kelethres, Albrecht, and Ao, to bring Him back to life before His city falls apart.
Her client is Kos, recently deceased fire god of the city of Alt Coulumb. Without Him, the metropolis’s steam generators will shut down, its trains will cease running, and its four million citizens will riot.
Tara’s job: resurrect Kos before chaos sets in. Her only help: Abelard, a chain-smoking priest of the dead god, who’s having an understandable crisis of faith.
When Tara and Abelard discover that Kos was murdered, they have to make a case in Alt Coulumb’s courts—and their quest for the truth endangers their partnership, their lives, and Alt Coulumb’s slim hope of survival.
Set in a phenomenally built world in which justice is a collective force bestowed on a few, craftsmen fly on lightning bolts, and gargoyles can rule cities, Three Parts Dead introduces readers to an ethical landscape in which the line between right and wrong blurs.
Okay, so this was added to the list a year and a half ago. Looking at it now, I can say that my reading preferences have certainly changed. This doesn’t appeal to me anymore, so it’s off the list.
Verdict: Go
  Doors of Stone – Patrick Rothfuss
Goodreads
The eagerly awaited third book of The Kingkiller Chronicle.
It is absolutely eagerly awaited – I love this series so far!
Verdict: Keep
  Golden Age – James Maxwell
Goodreads
The discovery of a strange and superior warship sends Dion, youngest son of the king of Xanthos, and Chloe, a Phalesian princess, on a journey across the sea, where they are confronted by a kingdom far more powerful than they could ever have imagined.
But they also find a place in turmoil, for the ruthless sun king, Solon, is dying. In order to gain entrance to heaven, Solon is building a tomb—a pyramid clad in gold—and has scoured his own empire for gold until there’s no more to be found.
Now Solon’s gaze turns to Chloe’s homeland, Phalesia, and its famous sacred ark, made of solid gold. The legends say it must never be opened, but Solon has no fear of foreigners’ legends or even their armies. And he isn’t afraid of the eldren, an ancient race of shape-shifters, long ago driven into the Wilds.
For when he gets the gold, Solon knows he will live forever.
This book doesn’t appeal to me much at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I could read it… I may even want to in the future, but I’m not feeling the love right now.
I’ll keep it because I bought a copy, but it’s not something I am likely to pick up in the near future.
Verdict: Keep
  Children of Earth and Sky – Guy Gavriel Kay
Goodreads
From the small coastal town of Senjan, notorious for its pirates, a young woman sets out to find vengeance for her lost family. That same spring, from the wealthy city-state of Seressa, famous for its canals and lagoon, come two very different people: a young artist traveling to the dangerous east to paint the grand khalif at his request—and possibly to do more—and a fiercely intelligent, angry woman, posing as a doctor’s wife, but sent by Seressa as a spy.
The trading ship that carries them is commanded by the accomplished younger son of a merchant family, ambivalent about the life he’s been born to live. And farther east a boy trains to become a soldier in the elite infantry of the khalif—to win glory in the war everyone knows is coming.
As these lives entwine, their fates—and those of many others—will hang in the balance, when the khalif sends out his massive army to take the great fortress that is the gateway to the western world…
This synopsis really doesn’t say a whole lot about the book, in my opinion. Unless you are die-hard feminist and want to invest into special agent “doctors wife” – nothing stands out about these characters.
It’s a nope from me.
Verdict: Go
  The Psychology Book – Nigel C Benson
Goodreads
Clearly explaining more than 100 groundbreaking ideas in the field, The Psychology Book uses accessible text and easy-to-follow graphics and illustrations to explain the complex theoretical and experimental foundations of psychology.
From its philosophical roots through behaviorism, psychotherapy, and developmental psychology, The Psychology Book looks at all the greats from Pavlov and Skinner to Freud and Jung, and is an essential reference for students and anyone with an interest in how the mind works.
I definitely have a kindle copy of this – and I am fairly sure I have read at least some of it. Psychology is a subject I am interested in and like to visit periodically, so I’ll keep.
Verdict: Keep
  There you have it!
I only dropped three books of the list this time. I think now I am coming to books that I have added more recently (within the past year and a half or so) there will be less I drop off the list as my reading taste will be closer to it is now.
I’ll still benefit from reviewing, however, as you never know. Plus, doing so gets the books put on the ACTUAL reading list I work from.
Have you reviewed your TBR recently?
  Down the TBR Hole is a tag designed to help clear Goodreads lists of unwanted books #bookblog Happy Friday folks! I hope you are all looking forward to a fabulous weekend!! Today I am posting another Down the TBR Hole post, in an effort to clear out my Goodreads list of unwanted books.
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alicat1032 · 7 years ago
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OMG I hate my state sometimes...
I swear they fear education. 
FLORIDA APPROVES “ANTI-SCIENCE” LEGISLATION IN VICTORY FOR RELIGIOUS RIGHT
New legislation allows anyone in Florida to challenge what’s taught in public schools. The measure, officially called Florida House Bill 989, went into effect Saturday. Representative Byron Donalds (R-Naples) introduced the bill in February. Governor Rick Scott signed it into law after it passed the Florida House with bipartisan support.
According to the National Center for Science Education,
With the law now in place, any county resident — not just any parent with a child in the country’s public schools, as was the case previously — can now file a complaint about instructional materials in the county’s public schools, and the school will now have to appoint a hearing officer to hear the complaint.
Hearing officers will have the authority to review any instructional materials––including movies, textbooks, and novels––to which parents might object. If the hearing officer deems that the challenge is justified, he or she can require schools to remove the material. They can remove material on the belief that the material is “pornographic” or “is not suited to student needs and their ability to comprehend the material presented, or is inappropriate for the grade level and age group.” Any parent or county resident can file a complaint, even if they don’t have a child enrolled in the school system.
In May, Representative Donalds insisted that the bill was not intended to target any particular subject. Affidavits filed by supporters of the bill, however, suggest that science education will face considerable challenges. For example, an affidavit filed by Lynda Daniel, a resident of Marin County, admonishes the school board for its use of a textbook she believes promotes a “Nihilist, primitivist, de-growth, anti-development, anti-capitalist viewpoint which leaves the impression that the world was much better off when humans lived in small, isolated groups of hunter-gatherers”:
Humans are just another animal, who, through a quirk of evolution, popped out a brain that allowed for self-awareness, high-level, organized thought processes, and speech, thus being able to unfairly dominate the planet. In the grand scheme, all of humanity is fleeting and its time will pass, each life is infinitesimally insignificant, and since humans are nothing more than animals, nothing anyone does really matters anyhow. While the authors clearly have this view, it is biased, unacceptable, and unethical to present only their opinion/belief and ignore the beliefs of a great percentage of others. Believe it or not, it is possible to present FAIRLY multiple points of view; here’s a 90 second attempt: ‘many of the great faith traditions hold that humankind was created by a holy, omniscient, omnipotent deity who created humans in its own image and imbued them with an eternal soul. That soul, along with self-awareness and the abilities to reason and communicate, is what separates humans from animals, and, in these traditions, places them at 2 the pinnacle of creation. Humans are therefore able to, designed to, and supposed to ponder, seek, and strive for the good, the right, the virtuous, the just, and the beautiful, and to understand things larger than themselves and the here and now, and are guided to act in ways honoring those concepts.’ That took me literally 90 seconds to write off the top of my head. You think these entrenched, connected, highly paid ‘Big Ed’ textbook publisher cabals might be able to write something similar?
An affidavit from Mary Ellen Cash, a Collier County resident, charges that evolution and global warming were taught as “reality.” Still another affidavit––this one from Collier County resident David P. Bolduc––complains that an 8th-grade U.S. History textbook “teaches the children to glorify 13th century Muslim Kings of West Africa” and that it “teaches the children to be subservient to a despotic U.S. president” by teaching them about the president’s ability to issue executive orders.
In a blog post, Brandon Haught, of Florida Citizens for Science, a group of parents and teachers advocating for science education, condemns the new legislation. “This means our fight is only just now beginning,” he wrote. “Each and every one of us has to be on alert. You must keep an eye on your local school board and everyone who brings forth a complaint about textbooks. If you don’t, we truly lose. At this point the fight is at the local level. If you’re not there and willing to stand up for sound science education, then we’re done.”
Florida is particularly vulnerable to climate change, and increased flooding in coastal citiessuch as Miami has already shown some residents the dangers of ignoring or neglecting environmental science. Researchers believe that Miami could see nearly two feet of sea level rise by 2060, an increase which could prove disastrous for residences and businesses along the coastline.
Perhaps the most comprehensive study estimating economic damage from climate changeto date was published in Science last week. It found (among other things) that Southern states––particularly Florida––are the most vulnerable, and that there is an economic cost of about 1.2 percent of gross domestic product (GDP) for every 1°C  rise in temperature.
http://secondnexus.com/politics-and-economics/florida-approves-anti-science-legislation-victory-religious-right/
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servant-queegueg-blog · 8 years ago
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Enough
Well, for the past few months now I’ve been on a long distance hike across the eastern United States. During this time I rarely get access to new information, news, and the like. However I have been able to stay up to date on some current events, more specifically those events perpetrated by a certain Religion of Peace. Son now I’ve got a little of a “Yo Dre” moment, but with a different meaning.
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I’m writing this shortly after an attack in Paris, in front of the Notre Dame du Paris, where fortunately the only one injured was the Jihadi Joe, now with hammer wielding action. This attack came only hours after an attack in London, which came only days after an attack in Manchester, which came only days after an attack in London…you get my point? Now some may look at these attacks, cover their ears and scream about how terrorism has no religion, #notallmuslims yada yada. While others may update their Facebook profiles with a temporary translucent national flag, #prayfor…insertcityhere… However one thing that people refuse to do is take action against the people, and the ideology that has inspired the greatest evil the civilized world has ever seen. Sometimes the action necessary is only talk, but it would seem as though we’re cracking down on the mere mention of criticizing Islam. Don’t believe me? Don’t look now, but Canada is looking to begin enforcing blasphemy laws. [1] This is greatly disturbing, as it limits the freedom of speech that many of us take for granted. Every idea and ideology is open to review and scrutiny, but for whatever reason we are told that we cannot touch one. Ironically, it’s the one that refuses to get along with everyone else.
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Now, why is it that Islam can’t coexist peacefully with…well, anyone? Does it stand to reason, your honor, that there is a key flaw within the very foundation of the religion? Is it possible, that the largest death cult the world has ever know, is based off the teachings of a (possibly possessed) murdering, child raping, psychopath and so, as he is held up as the example that every Muslim should follow, might have a negative impact on anyone who takes the teachings of the Q’uran and Hadiths to heart?
Yeah, it stands to reason. And just to prove it, let’s go on a little journey.
The religion of Islam was inspired after Mohammed had an experience with a being which he actually believed to be a dark spirit (Bukhari 9:111) but was later convinced by his wife Khadija that it was an angel. Not a great way to kick off a religion, huh? Its no small wonder that in light of this, as S. Thomas Aquinas said, “no educated men, men trained in things divine and human followed him [Mohammed] from the beginning” [2] So, not having the brains and intellectual ability to spread his new creed by words of mouth, Mohammed resorted to violence and submission. BTW, Islam means peace through submission. And so, the crescent moon was brought to the world through Jihad, holy war, at the tip of a spear. Following in the example of their false prophet, Islam took Damascus in 635, Antioch in 636, and Jerusalem and Alexandria in 638. In 668 The Moslem hordes besieged Constantinople, but were repulsed. In 711 they invaded Spain, and within four years, had taken in almost in its entirety. In 717 they tried again to take Constantinople, and again they failed. In 732, Moslem invaders crossed the Pyrenees Mountains, unsatisfied with the whole of the Iberian Peninsula. Charles Martel, the hammer, stopped them at Tours. In 792 they again tried an invasion of France, to the same results. In 827 they invaded Italy and Sicily, the later would be held by Moslems until 1091. By 846 they had reached Rome, where they sacked old St Peters, and St Paul Outside the Walls. In 848 they tried again to attack France, and again failed. Finally, in 1059, Pope Urban II called for the first Crusade. This long history of warfare was following in the footsteps of the holiest of prophets, who led a life of war and brought terror on those who did not believe in his word. At Badr, Medina, and Muta (a loss) Mohammed seems to have had very little provocation in attacking, and certainly not with the level of ferocity with which he did. He attacked and slaughtered Jews and Christians alike, as well as other Arab tribes like the Bani Mustaliq and Lihyans. He gave his soldiers permission to rape the women (Bukhari 34:432) (Abu Dawud 2150), and in cases like the Banu Qurayza, had captives mass executed. Cool, add war crimes to the list of teachings and condoned activities by the holiest of prophets.
 Did I mention that Mohammed married a six year old? Did I mention that she was only nine when he consummated the marriage? (Sahih Muslim 8: 3309) And did I mention that he beat her? (Sahih Muslim 4: 2127) Oh yeah, and over the course of Mohammed’s life, he had 13 wives, 11 at one time, whom he treated likewise. This doesn’t count concubines
Recently as I was hiking, we were in a car and we passed a Chik-fil-a, asking to stop, I was shot down because my liberal hiking friends linger under the delusion that they “believe that all gay people should be shot”. Not only is this a blatant lie, but the opposite is true. And somehow, they have come to believe that making a business decision not to cater at gay weddings is the same as literal murder. Well its not. But do you want to know who does literally want to kill gays, Muslims. Christ admonished sinners and ordered them not to sin again; but for the sin of Lot’s people (homosexual sodomy) Mohammed definitely wanted them dead. (Abu Dawud 4462)(Abu Dawud 4448)(Sahih Bukhari 72:774)(al-Tirmidhi, Suana 1:152). In seven Muslim countries, there are laws on the books where homosexuals can be killed.
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Sheikh Khalid Yasin, of Tunisia, in 2016 stated that “God is very straightforward about this, not we Muslims, not subjective, the Sharia is very clear about it, the punishment for homosexuality, bestiality or anything like that is death. We don’t make any excuses about that, it’s not our law, it’s the Koran.” Well now, that doesn’t seem all too gay-friendly. But no, lets villianize the Christian bakers and photographers, simply for practicing their religion in a way that doesn’t actually hurt anyone, but simply wishes to avoid guilt by association. Oh yeah, meanwhile Muslim bakeries in Dearborn, MI refuse to bake cakes for gays, no-one complains. [3] Could it be that language like this from the holiest of prophets is what inspires laws like this, and horrific acts like the Pulse Nightclub shooting? By the way, first reports I heard from that shooting was a white Christian did it. Nope.
 Now that we’ve tackled some of the language of Islam, and its holiest of prophets, we’re going to take a look at what’s been going on in the world lately. CNN reports that terrorism in the developed world has surged 650% in a single year[4], while elsewhere in the developed world, Sweden has shot up on list of rapes per capita (although mass coverups have been revealed) likewise in Germany.[5] We see headlines like Paris, Nice, Calais, Paris II, Brussels, London, Miami, Manchester, London II, and attempts around the world all the time. And I for one am not only no longer surprised, but get genuinely exasperated when I see names like Khalid, Mohammed, Sayeed, as the perpetrator. But what is also as unsurprising and tiring, is the politicians and celebrities that come parading out afterwards, to tell us how Islam is a religion of peace, that #notallmuslims, that terrorism has no religion. And that the murdering savages “are as Muslim as me”. Lets take a look at the last two before I wrap up. Has no religion? Yeah it does, and its called Islam. Global terrorism trends show that Islamic groups are responsible for almost all fatal terror attacks in the past 15 years, and why? Because their prophet commands jihad, He tells them to slay the infidel (non-Muslims) and kill the apostates (also non-Muslims, but also other sects of Islam). As for the last statement, there is a surprising trend among Jihadis to maybe be recent converts, or to have lived very un-Islamic lives. So I’d like to share with you something radical. In multiple areas in the Q’uran and Hadiths it is made very clear that the only way for a Muslim to gain paradise is to die in Jihad. If you’ve ever met a born again Christian, you’ll see that they throw themselves into their faith with a burning love, trying to wash away their sins with good works. Well in Islam that doesn’t work, and so the “Muslim version” of born again Christianity looks a lot more violent. (Q’uran 4:95)(Q’uran 8:15-16)(Q’uran 9:39)(Q’uran 3:169-170)(Sahih Muslim 20:4678)(Sahih Muslim 20:4649)(Sahih Bukhari 52:46)(Abu Dawud 14:2515)
 I also want to lay something up for my fellow Christians, under no circumstances are we to consider Mohammed a prophet. His religion says that Christ is not God, and that our sacred texts, (the Bible) have been corrupted. Our faith stands accused of falsehood by this man and his creed, but I am willing to bet that the creed that I profess, the faith of my fathers, is true. Are you?
 I’m gonna start to wrap this up, as I need to hit the road soon. (now that hiking’s my life and full time job) So yeah, not all Muslims are terrorists, obviously. Bet every single one who takes literally the teaching of Mohammed, and follows in his path is. I expect that I’m going to get crap for this post. My blog may be removed, and when I put this on Facebook I might get Zucc’d. I cant tell the future, but I can say that I’ll be here, I’m not hiding, and I’m not alone.
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                                            Frater, Memento Mori
                                                          S.Q.
[1] http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2017/03/canada-passes-103-motion-islamophobia-170324074557381.html
[2] Summa Contra Gentiles 1.6,4
[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgWIhYAtan4
[4] http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/16/world/global-terrorism-report/index.html
[5] http://www.bild.de/regional/duesseldorf/ralf-jaeger/die-liste-der-schande-44239678.bild.html
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