#if you think i’m naming the chapters you are wrong.

[myownwholewildworld]

12. MORNING DEW

chapter 11 | ao3 | series masterlist | chapter 13 (soon)

pairing: post-outbreak!joel x f!reader. summary: you and joel need to discuss what the future might look like for the both of you. whether that's together or on your own. a/n: HI! please accept my apologies, i know it's been like a month since i last updated this series. but fret not, here's chapter 12! hope you guys like it. as always, i appreciate comments, reblogs and likes, they keep us writers well fed and motivated! take care, lovelies <3 x warnings: 18+, mdni. fluff, some angsty hurt/comfort. smut because i got my period halfway through writing this. fingering. handjob. oral (m!receiving). edging. soft dom/sub dynamics. brief references to attempted suicide and attempted SA. reader is female, no other description given. reader is mid-late 20s, joel is 37. no use of y/n.  joel’s and reader’s pov. and a special guest’s pov too 👀 dividers by @\saradika-graphics w/c: ~6.5k. taglist aka the drama wagon at the end of the chapter (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list pls!)

It never seemed to be the proper time to speak to you, Joel thought. Ever since his fuckup last night, he had struggled to find the words, to explain what his thought process was. A few hours ago, he had talked himself into ripping off the plaster and apologise to you, but when he called your name and you turned around with a composed expression, he froze in place.

He didn’t want to lose you too. Joel was afraid he would say something wrong again that would push you even further away from him. And then he would truly be alone, all because of his own actions, his own words. That fear clamped around his throat, preventing him from saying anything. From reaching out.

It was stupid, really. He knew that. Knew you were expecting him to say something, anything. Your blank expression was just a façade, a wall you had built around your heart so he wouldn’t hurt you anymore.

Joel hated himself for it, for your concealed hurt. Hated he had broken that trust between you two and made you feel like he was no longer on your side. He was, always had been, always would be. But he had let fear come between you, an abyss so vast he didn’t think it was salvable. It had to be though ― couldn’t be any other way.

The possibility of being a father again laid in front of him like a path full of dangers. Joel understood how much he could lose, because he had already lost Sarah. How suffocating that experience had been ― still was, every single fucking day.

He was frightened to go through it all over again. Having to hug another dead child of his; having to witness the light flicker away from her eyes. Sarah had been his everything ― his hope, his pride, the love of his life, the reason he would wake up in the morning to go to work, counting his blessings. And it didn’t matter in the slightest how good she was ― she was taken regardless. This world was cruel and unjust and greedy.

But there was also a sliver of hope, of dull excitement, shimmering underneath. One he wouldn’t allow himself to feel.

He still felt like a failure of a father who could not protect his baby girl when she needed him most. That emotional baggage would forever be with him. And he wanted it that way, because it meant he still remembered. This grief he carried was a reminder of the love he held. And he hoped it stayed with him, that she would stay with him.

Joel could still vividly remember digging with bare nails the grave Tommy had prepared for her. Elbow’s deep in the dirt, his fingers reaching for her as thick tears blurred his vision. The wails ripping his lungs apart, leaving his throat raw and tender. And Tommy hugging him from the back, arms clamped around his shoulders ― crying, begging him to stop.

“Little Sarah is resting now.”

“Let her be, Joel.”

“Stop unburying her, dammit!”

“I’m sorry, truly sorry. God I can’t―”

“She’s at peace now, Joel. No more suffering.”

Tommy’s slurry voice still filled his ears. His little brother had tried his best to comfort him, but at that moment in time, Joel had been too blinded by the gut-wrenching pain, the unbearable loss. He never really thanked Tommy for that. Never thanked you for stopping him from killing himself either.

Being an ass to the people he loved, apparently, was his only strength. Just like he had been with you when you needed him most.

Joel watched you as you struggled to unzip your sleeping bag, the soft material catching on the serrated teeth. You yanked the pull, almost snapping it from the slider, mumbling something to yourself.

He covered your tiny hand with a broad one of his, lightly squeezing your fingers.

“Let me help,” he muttered as you leaned back away from him.

Your subtle physical rejection stung, but he knew he deserved it. His hurt was nothing in comparison to yours.

Letting go of the bag, you faked looking for something in your backpack, avoiding his eyes when they searched for yours. Joel felt that the void between you only grew and grew, like darkness gaining ground to the light outside.

Could he mend your relationship? Your trust? Your love?

With careful hands, Joel managed to release the pinch on the fabric and tested that the zipper worked how it should do. When he glanced up at you, handing over the sleeping bag, Joel caught the rawness in your eyes, the slight dampness clinging to your eyelashes like morning dew on a petal at dawn.

It was now or never. He was hurting from seeing you hurt. Couldn’t take it any longer, he just had to say something, apologise to you. Ask to start the conversation all over again. One more second of this and he would lose his goddamn mind.

“Sweetheart, I―,” he managed to say out loud.

“I’m tired, Joel,” you quickly interrupted him. “Just wanna go to bed now, if you don’t mind.”

Your words were like a sobering, cold shower after a few beers ― stopped him right in his tracks before he could even begin to express what he wanted to say. Slightly shocked, Joel watched you fiddling around with your sleeping bag before you got inside it and turned around, facing away from him.

His slack jaw was soon gritting. But that brief anger quickly shimmered away when reality started to set in.

Perhaps he had misread the whole situation; perhaps you were not waiting on him to talk.

Perhaps you were past that ― past him, his bullshit and his doubts.

Perhaps your relationship was truly beyond salvation.

He paled in the face of such possibility, his hands shaking as they gripped his own sleeping bag.

Joel was up almost all night, eyes transfixed on you as his brain worked out all scenarios.

You faked falling asleep, but rest evaded you for hours until you finally gave in to exhaustion. Didn’t last long though, because a couple of hours later, you were, once again, wide awake.

The whole situation with Joel was overwhelming. You had hoped he would come to the car as soon as you left him behind, but he didn’t. Then that night you waited for him to say something, anything, and yet again, he didn’t. Not a fucking word when you both woke up this morning either, except for your name falling from his lips like a regretted whisper. Then complete radio silence and nothing else.

The silence treatment he had given you today was unbearable. Even if your doubts had lingered, pushing you to postpone the inevitable, deep inside you had hoped his reaction would be different. Shocked, yes, but then he would be… perhaps not happy, but at least a bit more excited? And after the shock had worn off, he would have soothed you, calmed you, told you everything was gonna be alright.

Maybe you had expected too much of Joel, your little delusion blinding you. After all, he had already lost Sarah. So now, in retrospect, this announcement might have unearthed bad memories, but especially regrets.

Was that it? Had you unburied his most primal fear? You had been so focused on what laid ahead, you had not stopped to consider what laid behind ― what this would mean for Joel. You had briefly contemplated he could perhaps see this as a blessing or a curse, but didn’t dwell too long on the thought, preoccupied as you were with other pressing matters.

You felt sick and it had nothing to do with pregnancy.

And then, when he had tried talking to you before going to bed, you had shut him down. But you were so tired, so mentally drained, you didn’t have an ounce of energy left to deal with a conversation like that. Because you truly didn’t know what he would say ― he wore such an impassive expression on his face, it was really difficult to tell.

You turned on the hard, creaky, wooden floor and faced Joel. One of his arms was resting on the wooden planks, extended towards you, as if he was trying to reach for you in his sleep.

You were in an abandoned cabin just outside Oswego. It was bare and completely stripped of furniture, but at least had a roof that would protect you from the cold, wet weather outside. It also had a covered chimney, but being so close to civilisation, it had to stay put out. Sleeping in the bag was not ideal, but it kept you warm.

Taking a deep breath, you then felt some sort of cushion under your neck that had not been there before you fell asleep. By touch, you realised it was one of those inflatable travel neck pillows that you had seen people use in airplanes. Frowning, you gathered Joel must have found one and tucked it under your head in your sleep.

You carefully studied Joel’s handsome, weathered face from the safety of your sleeping bag. Even in his sleep, his eyebrows were bunched together, a deep wrinkle ploughing through his skin almost permanently, giving him a worried look. His aquiline nose was buried in the fabric of his sleepsack, his long eyelashes caressing the top of his cheeks.

He would roll his eyes at you every time you called him “gorgeous” or “handsome”, but he really was. You loved to tell him, to help him see through your eyes. You knew he sometimes needed to hear it, to remind him of his own humanity. It was normal to lose sight of it in the current world you lived in.

And you loved him, the whole of him and his ghosts, even though he was a tactless prick sometimes. You had come to learn that when cornered, Joel could react like a beaten dog ― crouched back and showing teeth, ready to bite at the slightest provocation. Couldn’t blame him, even if you tried.

Feeling restless, you carefully unzipped your sleeping bag, not wanting to wake Joel up, and put your boots on. God knew you both needed some rest. Silently you stood up and stretched your back and arms, then one hand mindlessly stroked your belly. It wasn’t swollen at all, but the idea of a life growing inside you sat snugly in the back of your mind.

“What are we going to do, little one?” you whispered to yourself before grabbing your coat.

Needing some fresh air, you walked outside in the middle of the freezing night. It had been snowing, because there were at least three inches of white fluff blanketing the ground. Which meant the car battery could quickly drain and leave you stranded, so you went to check on the hidden Jeep.

Joel’s body jerked uncontrollably, one leg shaking as if he was falling off a cliff. Instantly waking up, he nervously looked around him, trying to recall where he was.

His hand patted the wooden floor in the dark, and when he located your sleeping bag, his breathing hitched at finding it empty. Then he heard the front door creaking, a sliver of moonlight coming through.

Were you leaving him in the middle of the night? Had he completely broken your trust, your relationship? Had he no chance of mending his mistake? Were you so hurt you would go without a word, without saying goodbye?

God knew he deserved it. He wasn’t cut for a relationship; he always ruined it. Should have known better than falling for you and giving in, but you were so warm, so effortless to love, so natural… How the fuck could he not? He was only human after all.

With a deafening pulse in his eardrums, he kicked the sleeping bag off as he got up with jerky, edgy motions, running towards the door to stop you from leaving him. For you he would fight, he would give you a whole motherfucking speech of why he loved you and how sorry he was. He at least had to try.

Joel swung the door open, and a frosty breeze greeted him, his skin bristled almost painfully at the feeling of frostbite.

You were walking through the snow, wrapped in your coat and with the hood on ― you looked so ethereal, your side profile bathed by the moonlight like a night fairy. Your features glowed under the lunar lustre, and he couldn’t help but fall for you even more.

Barefoot he followed you, his soles numb after a few steps through the snowy mud.

“Babe, wait,” he muttered, one hand reaching for your elbow.

You startled at his touch, and Joel didn’t know if it was rejection or that he had surprised you.

Your big, beautiful eyes widened when you saw him there. You wore a tired expression, and he knew himself the culprit.

“Where are you going?” he questioned in a whisper, heart still and lungs empty.

“I―”

“Please don’t go, don’t leave. I can do better. I’m sorry,” Joel stumbled with his words.

Had never felt this exposed as he was about to split his core in half, to undress emotionally in front of someone, allowing himself to be hurt by the only person it mattered.

But it had to be done to keep you by his side. So he did.

“I panicked. I wasn’t expecting��� it didn’t even cross my mind that you… well, could be pregnant. It caught me so off guard, the news didn’t sink in. I’m sorry I reacted like a fucking idiot; I know I’ve disappointed you because of it. It’s just… ‘s hard, you know?” Joel swallowed to dissolve the dense knot forming in his throat, “I already had a shot at fatherhood, and I fucking blew it. I couldn’t protect her despite loving Sarah with all my heart, so the possibility of having to go through all that heartache again… I just, I don’t―”

Joel took in a deep, trembling breath as he unconsciously palmed his broken wristwatch, trying to soothe himself. He attempted to read your expression ― your lips pursed and eyes teary. Was he breaking your heart even further? You were about to cry, and he didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad one.

Anxiety was taking hold of his throat and gut, strangling him.

“Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m fucking scared, so scared I don’t think words do it justice. But I’m also thrilled, baby, I swear I am. I owe it to you, to myself, to this baby of ours… I ain’t going nowhere. Wherever you go, I’ll follow you both,” he husked, almost breathless. “I’m sorry I said what I said. Neither of us have a choice, but even if we did… I wouldn’t change a thing. This baby is happening for a reason and whatever that is, I’m all in, come what may. I love you, I really do, and I hate myself for having hurt you like this. I just suck at expressing my feelings and―”

You placed a gentle hand on his naked forearm, which made him lose track of what he was saying. Your fingers gently squeezed his cold flesh as you took a step closer to him. Your free hand slid across his left hip, dipping under the tee shirt he was wearing, until it reached the small of his back and you pushed him towards your body.

His taut muscles visibly relaxed at your touch and hug, his lungs filling up as he drew in the deepest breath of his life. Wrapping his arms around you, he held you close to his chest, chin resting on the crown of your head.

“Joel, I wasn’t leaving,” you murmured, cheek nuzzling against him, a tentative smile lingering on your mouth.

Joel’s eyebrows knitted together. From his perspective, it was more than obvious that you were actually leaving.

“Oh? I thought―”

“I was just going to check on the car battery since it’s freezing out here,” you interrupted him, glancing up at him.

Joel pursed his lips together, then licked them nervously.

“Well, everything I said still stands. I am truly sorry, sweetheart,” he said, mouth lightly pressed on your forehead.

A deep sigh after, you took a step back, your hand travelling from his forearm to his fingers, intertwining them with yours. Your palm was so warm in comparison to his, he just realised how little clothing he had on.

“For being a man who “sucks” at expressing his feelings, dare I say you’ve just spoken like a professional orator?” you jested, a grin curling the corners of your lips. “And I am sorry for not being straightforward with you. I was afraid of how you would take the news, and, well…” you shrugged, “you can’t blame me, can you?”

Joel shook his head vehemently. He definitely couldn’t ― the proof was there for both of you to see.

“But I understand how frightening this is for you. I can’t even begin to comprehend how you must have felt when… when Sarah left us. I was so blinded by my own insecurities, I didn’t dwell for too long on how this would affect you emotionally. So I apologise and―”

“Don’t. Don’t apologise, please. That’s a pain for me to bear, you shouldn’t have to think about it.”

“But I do, Joel. I want to bear it with you, so you don’t have to do it alone. That’s the whole point of this, of us. After all, we are going to be a family now,” your voice dropped to a low hum.

A pang of nerves traversed his stomach. No, not a pang, more like… butterflies? Joel had not felt that―the purest form of ecstasy―in a long, long time. The idea of being a dad… it always called him, always felt like that was what he was meant to be, nothing else. Sarah had been the center of his world and while no one could ever change that for him, the possibility of having another child to shower with the love he had buried… it was so overwhelming it brought tears to his eyes, his breathing shallow.

“A family,” he repeated, voice raspy with emotion.

You nodded and laughed, teary eyes too.

“A family, Joel. You’re gonna be a dad,” you snickered, now sobbing.

He couldn’t help but join you, draping his arms around you to bring you against his chest.

He didn’t deserve you, your forgiveness. The second chance you were offering him, in all the senses. A second chance with you. A second chance to form a family. A second chance in life, really.

Joel cradled your flushed cheeks, tilting your face up so his mouth hovered over yours.

“I can’t believe my fucking luck, honestly. You, the mother of my child…” he didn’t finish the sentence because he would choke on his own words if so. Took a second to compose himself. “If I’m ever such a dick aga―”

“Are you planning on being a dick often, Joel Miller?” you said playfully with a cocked brow.

He laughed, feeling completely at ease.

“I hope not. But if I ever attempt to be, just kick me in the balls so I may come to my senses quicker, please,” he replied with a lopsided grin.

His thumbs caressed the apples of your cheeks before bowing down to kiss you. A slow, loving stroke of his tongue over yours and he felt everything was right again. Your sweet taste soothed him, his mind finally at ease. How you achieved that for him with the mere brush of your soft lips, he didn’t understand.

You were the one to break the kiss, pecking his lips a few times before finally taking a step back.

“Let’s go back inside, you must be freezing only with those sweatpants and a shirt.”

And with that, all the anxiety, the mental struggle, was forgotten.

Joel took your tiny hand in his broad one and led you back inside the cabin. Dried off his feet quickly before helping you out of your winterwear and settle back in in the sleeping bag ― his sleeping bag. Luckily it was big enough for the both of you.

You hugged each other, trying to get back to sleep, but both of your hearts were fluttering so hard, it was difficult to ignore the excitement.

“I’m so thrilled right now, I don’t think I can go to sleep just yet. I can’t believe this is happening,” you whispered with a beautiful grin.

Joel couldn’t help but notice how you were beaming now, how much worry you had carried the last couple of days because of him. He felt infinitely better now that the joyful spark had returned to your eyes.

Dragging his thumb across your jawline, tracing an invisible line on your soft skin, Joel tilted your face towards him, his heart swollen with love. He hadn’t felt this alive in ages.

“Neither can I,” he admitted in a rasp.

His right hand roamed your body under the sleeping bag until it found the perfect spot to rest: your belly. Joel splayed his fingers over your lower tummy protectively, wanting to shield you both from any harm.

You hovered one of your hands over his, your palm stroking the back of his hand in a light caress. It felt like such an intimate moment, a respite among all madness and darkness, that he knew he would treasure it forever. When days would become hard, he’d only have to think back to this exact moment in time ― both of you cocooned in a sleeping back, warm and loving, calm and happy.

Fuck, was he happy and grateful. It still felt like a dream, but this was real. You were real. Yes, he was fucking scared out of his mind too, but the joy he was feeling right now eclipsed everything else.

With rough lips, he coaxed yours apart, the tip of his tongue tentatively swiping your teeth so you would let him in ― the place where he felt most at home. And you happily complied with a subtle sigh. Your tongues curled around one another, your sultry taste and sweet scent overtaking all his senses.

Joel felt your hand dragging his downwards and only took him one second to catch on. Soon his fingers were buried under your panties, his hand cupping your mound possessively while his middle finger dipped in your slit ever so slightly to faintly stroke your hooded clit.

Just one stroke.

“Joel,” you cooed, and he inhaled your breathless plea.

“I know, baby,” he hummed back, gifting you with another light stroke.

Your thighs trembled around his hand, and you parted them involuntarily, your body telling him everything he needed to know.

So he obliged, his finger slipping from your clit to your crying hole, gathering the wetness on the tip to bring it back up to your sensitive nub. With languid touches, Joel paid precise attention to your bundle of nerves with his thumb, while his index and middle fingers rubbed your dripping furrow incessantly, his fingertips hitching in your entrance from time to time.

You gasped, chest heaving and back arched, when Joel finally dived those two fingers in your slick, warm entrance. He groaned at your responsiveness, your eagerness, always ready for him. He could never have enough of you; of that he was fucking sure.

Joel nipped your neck, his stubble tickling your skin, then lapped at it while the rhythm of his hand increased. He knew you loved it when he curled his fingers, stroking that heavenly spot that would drive you wild with lust.

Then he suddenly stilled and you grinded your wet pussy against his palm, desperate for release, your hips tilting underneath.

“Joel, please,” you begged in a whisper, your walls clenching around his digits.

“Please what, sweetheart?”

“I wanna come, please let me,” you pleaded with half-lidded, glassy eyes, melting under his touch.

“What a good girl, asking for permission,” he grazed your slack jaw with his bare teeth, then soothed the bite with a kiss. “No, not a good girl, a good momma, aren’t ya?” he corrected himself, his erection swelling at the thought. “Not yet, baby.”

He teased you a bit more, dragging the pleasure, letting it build and coil inside you the way he knew you liked it.

“F-fuck… Joel…” you moaned, his fingers still and deep buried inside you, your hole squeezing uncontrollably.

Your pleas worked, because soon enough Joel was fingering you relentlessly, pumping in and out of you fast ― your gushing cunt making obscene, squelching noises under the sleeping bag. Your moans grew louder as the pace between your thighs increased, your back so arched Joel feared you might break it.

“You can come now, baby,” he spoke softly, knowing you were holding back until you got his permission.

Then your walls furiously fluttered around his digits, choking and clamping and clutching. And Joel fucked you with his fingers through your orgasm, his thumb smothering your clit, applying the right amount of pressure. You keened, breathing heavy, as you came down from your climax, eyes shut and mouth agape.

Joel leaned to kiss you, his wet, pruney fingers still embedded in your leaking hole while your hand teasingly caressed his tummy, his muscles straining in anticipation.

“Feeling calmer?” he asked, the tip of his crooked nose nuzzling your ear as his fingers slid out with a pop.

“Mhmm, way calmer now,” you husked, tipping your face to trap his mouth with yours. “Let me help you relax too, gorgeous.”

A deep rumble coursed through his chest as your tiny fist dove and wrapped around his swollen girth, your thumb gently caressing the leaky head under his underwear.

He was ready just by working you, that was the power you held over him and Joel was fully aware of it. And he didn’t care one bit, he loved that you could get him hard just like that. It was lust, but it was love too; a deep, shared connection ― something he’d not felt before with anyone else.

You pumped him slow at first, your teeth scraping the skin over his Adam’s apple, then his jawline, until you hunted down his lips, swallowing his gruffy moans. Your playful hand stroked him faster, your fingers gripping harder, and he was close to losing his mind.

Then you licked his neck and nibbled his earlobe, and Joel had to summon all strength he could muster to not come there and then. You giggled at his intense reaction ― his muscles so tight he could snap at any moment, his breathing heavier and erratic.

Your hand imposed a devilish pace upon his throbbing cock, jerking him off fast and furious now, seeing how far you could take him before he broke. His balls felt tight and heavy, ready to spill his warm load on your hand.

Joel couldn’t stop groaning even if he fucking tried ― it had only been five days since the last time he fucked you, but those were too many days already. He pursed his lips together, eyebrows knitting in concentration to not come yet, while your mouth ghosted his. A few moans ended up slipping out and you breathed them in as you masturbated him with a tight grip.

And whatever cue he gave you, you knew he was close ― his orgasm imminent. Swiftly you dived your head under the sleeping bag and Joel lost sight of you. You freed his erection and a second later he felt your plump lips seal around his mushroom head.

His hands curled into tight fists, your little licks, taps and laps maddening. Then you suckled the swollen tip as if it was your personal pacifier.

“Holy fuck,” he huffed, shutting his eyes, as your wicked tongue commended him to come, your hand working his shaft dextrously.

Joel couldn’t hold it any longer. With a deep moan, he blew his sticky load in your mouth, and you drank eagerly from him. He felt your plush lips pecking his balls, then his column, and finally the tip, showing gratitude to his softening dick. Tucking his cock back into his underwear, you patted his bulge, gently, for a sweet second.

Then you popped your head out of the sleeping bag with a sinful grin, your thumb swiping across the corner of your mouth to gather a drop of his cum and guiding it back inside. Joel cupped your chin to bring your face closer to his.

“Thanks, baby. Always so thoughtful,” he joked before tasting himself on your tongue.

“Anytime,” you snickered.

You settled across his chest, warm bodies and calmer hearts, and a comfortable silence filled the room. Soon after that, you both fell into a peaceful slumber.

You woke up first, Joel’s arms draped around your shoulders in a solid hug, almost suffocating you. The first morning light filtered through the bare window, casting elongated shadows of the trees outside across the floorboards. Morning dew condensed on the windowpane, frozen like tiny, sparkly snowflakes. Some birds chirped, their melody pacifying. The whole scene was so tranquil, you didn’t want this moment to end.

Loafing about, you nuzzled Joel’s sternum, his thorax slowly rising, then coming down. His heart beat steadily too, so calming it almost lull you back to sleep. Something about Joel sleeping so profoundly made you feel at peace. Both of you had a very much needed rest after a tense couple of days.

You stroked the hairy trail down his belly button absentmindedly.

Joel grunted and stirred under you, his curved eyelashes fluttering a few times before his beautiful brown eyes stared at you. A boyish smile curled the corners of his lips before he closed his eyes again, hugging you closer. Joel buried his nose in your hair, then inhaled audibly.

“As much I’d love to stay here forever with you, I think we should get going,” you laughed, palming his chest.

He groaned, pinching the bridge of his aquiline nose. He wasn’t a morning person.

“Alright. I’ll get up just ‘cause you’re asking nicely,” he conceded, one hand reaching out of the sleeping bag to unzip it.

The cold air hit you both and you regretted your decisions, but if you wanted to find Tommy soon, you were not going to achieve that from this cabin, as idyllic as it felt to be here, in your bubble with Joel.

Half an hour later you were both up and fully awake. Joel was packing away the sleeping bags when he suddenly stopped.

“Fuck. You didn’t check on the battery last night, did you?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

You bit down your bottom lip and shook your head no.

“Shit. No, I didn’t. I, well― got distracted,” you replied apologetically, a nervous chuckle slipping.

“You mean I distracted you, right?” the teasing edge to his voice made you smile. “Don’t worry, love, ‘s alright. I’ll go check on it before we go into town.”

Joel brought you in for a hug, his hands lacing on the small of your back. He brushed his lips against yours in a chaste kiss and you wanted to laugh so badly, you sniggered. This man, pretending to be so decent now.

“What’s so funny?” he enquired, a cocked brow, not letting you go of his embrace just yet.

“You being so gentlemanly and proper now with your decorous kissing, as if you didn’t make me come with just your fingers last night. As if I didn’t eat yo―” you jested bluntly, butterflies filling your belly.

Joel growled at your provocation, interrupting you, his hips flush with yours.

“That nasty mouth of yours is gonna be my downfall one of these days,” he muttered. Then he kissed you, his tongue quick and ravishing. “Enough. Stop being so damn tempting.”

He let go of you, taking a step back and turning around. You took the opportunity to smack his ass before he walked off with a smirk on his lips.

You stayed inside, gathering all the bits and stuffing them back in your backpacks. You were going to venture into Oswego today again, stake out the town and the area where Joel thought Tommy and his group would most probably be.

Shuffling through your belongings, you found the pregnancy test you took a few days ago. The digital screen was still displaying the positive result ― one you dreaded, but then embraced.

In the span of forty-eight hours, you thought your relationship with Joel had crumbled down and reduced to nothingness, to then come back stronger like a phoenix rising from its ashes.

The look on his face when he thought you were leaving him still haunted you ― you hoped he would forget that feeling sooner rather than later. His confession had tugged at your heart so much, you had forgiven him after the first sentence. But you had let him keep on talking, because the self-indulgent part of yourself wanted to hear him say all those things. It wasn’t often that Joel Miller would make use of his mouth to verbally express his feelings.

You smiled to yourself, tremendously happy with how the situation had turned out in the end.

Throwing your backpack over your shoulders and Joel’s hanging from one arm, you walked outside with the pregnancy still on your hand, daydreaming ― your grin now permanently sculpted into your features.

Then you heard a voice you quickly recognised.

Tommy’s.

You froze halfway through the three steps on the porch, your gaze scanning the area until you found them.

Joel had a very schooled expression, almost blank, while Tommy frowned, gripping a shotgun close to his chest.

“You’ve been following me?” the younger Miller asked, visibly upset.

“Yes, we have, you dickhead,” Joel replied, his voice restrained. “You just left a―”

“We?” Tommy scoffed, taking a step back. “You’ve not ditched her body yet?”

Joel’s hazel eyes found yours, still glued to the steps. A silent plea for you to go back inside, sensing this would not end well. And you tried ― you took a step back to run back into the cabin, but Tommy was quicker.

Tommy turned around and almost jumped back as if he had seen a ghost. Probably because he thought he had.

You raised your hands up, showing him you were no threat.

“Hey, Tommy,” you greeted him with a feeble smile. “If you keep pointing that gun at me, I’m gonna start thinking it’s personal,” you joked to diffuse the situation.

“Tommy,” Joel’s firm voice made his brother looked at him askance, his pupils fixed right back on you. “Hey.”

Joel’s fingers wrapped around the barrel, pushing it down so it wouldn’t point at you anymore. You could see Tommy’s stiffness from the distance, ready to do whatever it was necessary.

When Joel yanked at the shotgun, Tommy broke eye contact with you to stare at his brother, not letting go of the shotgun.

“How’s she alive?”

“It’s a long story, bu―”

“She’s fucking infected. You’re fucking infected!” he screamed in a panic, stumbling back with his own feet and then directing the gun back at you.

Joel tried to approach him while you stayed as still as possible, your breathing hitching. Would he shoot? You hoped not, but he looked scared enough to do so.

“Tommy, listen to me―” Joel attempted to talk to him again.

“What’s that you’re holding?” Tommy snapped at you, ignoring his brother.

You paled. You had forgotten the pregnancy test was on your hand, lost as you were in your train of thought when you had walked out of the cabin.

No words left your mouth ― your orbs quickly found Joel’s. Both of you, frightened to death. Not for yourselves, but for your baby.

Tommy wouldn’t hurt you, would he? Unconsciously, your free hand dropped to your belly, wanting to protect this new life you were harbouring, growing.

Tommy’s façade fell, his jaw slack.

“You’re PREGNANT?!”

Joel reacted first, standing in the way, the barrel kissing the center of his chest. Then he pushed Tommy back, his composed expression gone. He was angry, you could tell. Really angry. You had only seen him that irate the night those two men almost raped you.

“If you ever point that gun at her again, I swear to fucking God, I’ll kill you myself with my bare hands, Tommy,” he growled.

Tommy blinked rapidly, his resolution coming back as he cocked the gun again.

“You both have lost your fucking minds,” Tommy scoffed, walking backwards towards the woods. “Don’t follow me anymore. Leave me the fuck alone.”

A minute after, the younger brother disappeared between the trees and Joel rushed to your side, his anger transforming into urgency.

“We gotta go.”

His words were impregnated with the same panic you were feeling.

Unbelievable, Tommy thought.

Had his brother gone mad? What the fuck was he thinking? And how were you alive? What kind of sinister magic was that?

He had so many unanswered questions, his head throbbed with an impending headache. Tommy needed the distance and the time to think this through. At first, he had been elated at seeing his brother after so long, but the excitement quickly shifted the moment he saw Joel accompanied by you. And fucking pregnant, by the looks of it.

Shaking his head, Tommy hooted like an owl, letting the people keeping watch know that he was approaching the two houses they all had been living in. The two buildings were on the forest boundary, far enough of other homes but close enough to town.

Bursting in through the doors, Laney met him in the corridor, hands on hips.

“So?”

“They are here. And what’s worst, she’s alive and pregnant,” Tommy almost spit the last word out.

Laney’s scowl deepened.

“Pregnant? Like, with a fucking zombie-like monster growing inside of her?”

The emphasis on that specific word made Tommy frown. He wouldn’t go as far as to say that. Laney could be a little dramatic sometimes.

“Well, I don’t know. No, I don’t think so? I mean, she looked fine, so I guess―” Laney walked past him, interrupting what he was saying. “Where are you going?”

“On patrol. Need to go into town for some supplies.”

“Need a hand?”

“No. Stay here, keep watch.”

And with that, she stepped out and closed the door behind her, leaving Tommy in the middle of the hallway with a nagging doubt picking at the back of his brain.

@yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrospurplerain @missladym1981 @fancyyoouu

@smolbeanzzz @guelyury @bishtrouille @harriedandharassed

@thepalaceofmelanie @eternallyvenus @theoraekenslover @vickie5446

[yeyinde]

(this is my first time doing an ask so so sorry if i did anything wrong)

heyy is there going to be a part 2 to dog meat? i’m not being dramatic when i say i’ve literally thought about it every day since reading it for the first time. literally altered my brain chemistry. no worries if not and no rush for anything but just a massive thank you and appreciation for your amazing work! <3333

AHHH thank you!!!! there will be two more parts to dogmeat but it's not a chaptered fic—it's an anthology with three parts, all of them having something to do with Simon being a butcher. none of them are connected.

the next one that i'm hoping to post is Field Dressing which is set in 1977 (plot relevant) and has mc catching a ride out of town with the local butcher, Simon (who was just released from prison after spending 23 years there for the murder of his family—went in at 18 and came out at 41 :/ he hasn't been socialised very well, sorry). he drives a nasty old truck, mocks you for your stupidity (hitchhiking), and makes you hold his cigarettes so he can smoke and drive, and then decides you have zero survival skills to make it out there all alone so he takes it upon himself to teach you a few things.

namely, how to hunt (and also be hunted).

but mostly, Simon just thinks holding you at knifepoint while he teaches you how to fielddress a buck is a cute first date :////

and Ikejime is dark fantasy. Mermaids/Sirens are an extremely rare delicacy enjoyed by the ultra rich (a la pufferfish/fugu) and when a very wealthy client sends over one of the prettiest sirens he's ever seen, Simon isn't sure what he wants to do more: carve you up or keep you all for himself.

[pjmmania]

If Snow Decides to Fall

4. “I need the truth.”

Chapter Warnings: Heavy smut (the heaviest, Jimin and reader get super kinky), pregnancy, explicit language, profanity, angst, misogynistic language

Taglist: @marihoneywk

Back to Chapter Index

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*One year ago*

The guys were gathering on the set of a new in-house photo shoot. The ones who weren’t in a chair for hair and makeup were just sitting around, passing the time with casual conversation. All but one had arrived.

“I’m going to call him again,” Hoseok sighed to Taehyung and Namjoon, “I mean, he’s always the last one, but he’s pretty damn late this time.”

The man in question was going through one of the roughest periods in all their years together. The past couple of weeks had been joyless for him, the days unbearably hard to get through.

Right as he pulled out his phone, the lagging man appeared from the door to the set. He was clad in sweatpants and a hoodie, looking as if he’d just woken up.

“There he is,” Namjoon nudged Hoseok before calling out, “Jimin-ah!”

The man pushed his straight, dirty blonde hair out out of his eyes and smiled tiredly as he made his way over, “Morning.”

Taehyung chuckled to cover up the deep concern he had for his friend, “It’s two in the afternoon.”

None of them needed to ask him what was wrong, or why he’d obviously slept in so late. Namjoon put his arm around his shoulder, “Day by day. Just keep pushing through.”

Distantly, Jimin nodded, looking down, “I’m fine, guys. I’ve been through harder things than this.”

His words weren’t exactly believable, but the group got the sense that he wasn’t in the mood to dive deep into it yet, so they let it be.

Then Jimin was called by one of the makeup artists to go and sit in one of the vanity chairs. He left the small cluster of members to do as he was told, plopping down in the chair next to Yoongi with a yawn. He appeared to tune most things out, simply going through the motions of life.

Hoseok looked at Taehyung and Namjoon, “He’s really not looking great. I’m worried.”

“He’ll be okay eventually,” Taehyung sighed, “He’s just going through the first phase of a breakup. Soon enough he’ll be pissed at her, like we all are.”

The leader clicked his teeth and shook his head, "Seoyeon...I don't know if I've ever gone from liking to loathing someone like this. Whenever I think about what she did, I feel like running through a brick wall."

The other two concurred. Their smack talk was interrupted by the door opening and closing. In came the stylists with their outfits. There were two women. One was Chaeyoung, and the other was a brand-new face.

The trio tried not to stare rudely, but they couldn't help it. They couldn't remember the last time someone new joined the team, so this was intriguing. Luckily, the women made their way to them first, seeing that they were done with hair and makeup, and ready to change clothes. They wheeled the clothing racks, hanging on which were seven garment bags with seven names.

"Hi," Chaeyoung chirped, "You guys know the drill. Find your bag and go change. We'll help with any adjustments."

She noticed that they were looking at the newcomer, waiting to be introduced. She smirked, "Oh, and this Y/N, our new team member. Y/N, this is Namjoon, Hoseok, and Taehyung."

You already knew who they were, of course, but you were able to conceal most of your embarrassment as you bowed your head slightly, "Hello, it's nice to meet you all."

They were extremely warm and friendly.

"Welcome," Taehyung smiled, "We will try not to make you regret taking this job. At least not right away."

You laughed, "I'd appreciate that."

Always emotionally intuitive, the leader noticed the blush on your cheeks. He could tell you were a little starstruck and playfully pushed Taehyung to ease your nerves, "Ah, don't listen to him. We're an easygoing group. Thanks for being here."

You looked at his kind face and nodded. Then, the three took their individual bags and went to change. They'd be in suits today - the photoshoot had a distinguished and suave aesthetic.

Over in hair and makeup, Jin watched the interaction. Subtly, he gestured over to you without moving his head too much, "Who's that?"

Jungkook and Yoongi glanced in the same direction, while Jimin remained zoned out.

One of the makeup artists replied, "That's Y/N. She just started. Chaeyoung has sort of taken her under her wing for now, but apparently she’s expected to be quite an asset to the team.”

The woman who was fixing Yoongi’s hair gave further context, “I heard she comes from the runway world.”

As each of them were given their finishing touches and sent away to go get changed, they came up and introduced themselves to you. Chaeyoung was amused with how bashful you were acting, when she’d already seen a more confident side of you. It was like a receiving line of global superstars, saying hello to you, one after another. Your first impressions of their personalities were a fair match to what you expected.

Jimin was the only one you didn’t get to formally meet, but you didn’t notice. By the time he got up from his vanity chair to come and grab his garment bag, you were already occupied with the task of tweaking the other members’ looks. Your back was turned to him as he left to go change, fixing Jungkook’s tie. You wanted them to be worn a tad looser than normal.

A few minutes later, the last member returned in his suit. His eyes were trained on the cuff of his jacket, which had a loose button. Wondering if there was time to fix this, he lifted his gaze to find the nearest stylist. There was one he recognized brushing over Jungkook’s lapels with a lint roller, so he headed that way.

A hand on your shoulder caught you off guard, halting you from rolling the tape cylinder over the black fabric of Jungkook’s jacket. You turned around to find Jimin standing right in front of you. He had a casual smile on his face, which faded as soon as he realized that you weren’t who he thought you were.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he bowed his head a little, “I thought you were someone else. Are you new?”

The youngest member smirked, “Did you not hear, hyung?”

“Uh, no,” he grinned awkwardly, “Sorry.”

You laughed, feeling a bit uncomfortable yourself, “It’s alright. I’m Y/N, I started a couple of weeks ago. Nice to meet you.”

“You too. I’m Jimin,” he smiled, pushing himself to be more cordial than he felt like, being so worn out, “I have a loose button on my cuff here. Could we pin it back down or something?”

“I can fix it,” You nodded, “I’ll just need a flat surface. Come this way.”

There was a table you spotted set up away from the set, against the wall. Nothing fancy, just a collapsable table with water bottles and some snacks for the crew. When you got to it, you cleared some space and pulled up a black folding chair to sit.

Anticipating the next step, Jimin took off his jacket and handed it to you, leaving him in the classic white button up and the black tie. As you took it from his hand, you made brief eye contact. What everyone had said about him turned out to be totally true - his eyes were much harder to meet than the others. They were bigger in person, able to pull anyone right in without even trying. He was just gorgeous. You were afraid that if you looked at him for too long, you wouldn't be able to focus and resort to humiliating yourself. The game of acting professionally had just become more challenging.

You cleared your throat and laid the jacket on the table where it was needed. The rest of it fell on your lap. Then you unzipped your waist pouch, where you always kept some supplies handy. Watching you pull out a needle, some black thread, and tiny scissors, the man standing over you spoke with a bit of urgency, "Oh, I don't know if you have time to full-on sew it. I appreciate it, but maybe just a pin would be fine?"

You quickly glanced at the set. They seemed about ready to go, but you knew what you were doing, "It'll only take me a minute."

With that, you turned the cuff inside out and snipped the loose thread, pulling it out and removing the button completely. The needle was poised between your teeth.

Jimin put his hand on the table, putting some of his weight on it. His blonde hair, parted in the middle, draped forward and covered a little bit of his eyes, "I get the feeling this isn't the first time you've done this."

Focusing on your task, or at least trying to, your cheeks flushed. You felt the warmth in your face and mentally kicked yourself for it, praying he didn't notice. His voice was lower than you would have imagined. The interviews you'd seen of him all displayed a much lighter tone. Park Jimin was the only one out of the seven that was proving to go against your presuppositions.

You kept your attention on threading the needle, "I used to work backstage on runways, taking care of all the wardrobe malfunctions. I guess I learned to act fast."

It didn't occur to him that so soon after a wretched heartbreak, he could feel that feeling, but he did. That feeling when he made a woman blush, that prick in his ribs. Maybe it was only his subconscious trying to fill a void, or trying to gain some confidence back. Maybe he was simply intrigued by a woman who wasn’t falling at his feet, as he was so used to. Either way, it was there.

A smirk grew on his lips, “Then how on earth did you end up here?”

You were sewing the button back into the fabric of the jacket, laughing bashfully, “It was a fun environment and all, but I wanted to partake in the creative side for once. Evidently here I get to do both.”

He chuckled genuinely, and it gave you enough of a boost to make eye contact with him again. His grin was contagious this time, not intimidating.

“Are you assigned to our styling team specifically?” he asked you.

“I am.”

Oh, the fun of a little harmless flirting. He felt a lightness that he hadn’t felt in weeks, “Sorry to warn you, but we’re all a little clumsy with our wardrobes sometimes. There will probably be plenty more malfunctions to fix.”

You pulled the thread through, “I don’t care. It’s kind of fun to me, actually.”

“You’re done already?” his eyes went wide.

You snipped a little excess thread, “Mhm. I told you it would only take a minute.”

You rose from the chair and held up the jacket, positioning yourself behind him so he could put his arms through. He took the reins from there, tugging at the hems in front to straighten everything out.

Then he turned back to you with a half grin, “How do I look?”

You pursed your lips, failing to conceal your smile, “Fine, just one last thing.”

He wasn’t prepared for you to get so close to him, taking a hold of his tie. Your face was suddenly so near to his chest, and you could feel his eyes peering down on you.

Over on set, Taehyung saw this interaction. Without making a fuss, he gently elbowed Hoseok, chuckling, “Hey, remember how I said Jimin is going through the sad phase right now?”

He subtly gestured over to where the two of you were. Hoseok saw it immediately - the look he was giving you. He’d seen it many times before. It was the expression he always made when he had his sights set on a woman, locked in and calculating his next step, trying to figure you out.

Hoseok scoffed with a tiny smirk, leaning in to mutter in the other's ear, "Oh boy, I know that look."

"Yeah, I think I skipped a step in the middle of sadness and anger." the younger member sighed, arms crossed.

"A rebound?"

He laughed quietly, covering his mouth, "A rebound."

"Poor new girl," Hoseok whispered. If she was smart, she'd run the hell away. And Jimin should know better than to go after her, of all people. Staff are off limits."

"Eh," Taehyung shrugged, "Maybe he just wants a little flirtation, you know? It doesn't have to lead to anything scandalous."

Unrelated to their discreet conversation, Yoongi called out, "Jimin-ah! Hurry up!"

The shout brought you back to reality. You quickly worked your fingers to loosen his tie, just as you had with the others.

Jimin called back, "One second!"

He then returned his focus to you, admiring the cute, frazzled expression on your face. His voice was soft and raspy, "Did I not tie it to your liking, Y/N?"

You released a flustered laugh as you adjusted, "No, you did. But the concept here is supposed to be a little more relaxed. Debonaire, but not too stiff. Alright, that should be good."

"Thanks," he nodded courteously, beginning to step away, "I'll try not to ruin all your hard work."

You put your supplies back into your waist pouch and smiled, "You're welcome."

He returned to the set, joining the rest of the rest of the members with a refreshed, pleasant expression on his face. His mood had lifted, and although they couldn't openly say anything, all of the guys noticed. They shared glances with one another, all thinking the same thing.

Meanwhile, you went back to standing at Chaeyoung's side to watch them do the shoot, unaware that a simple and brief encounter had just changed the course of your life.

*Present day*

You were totally zoned out in this meeting, reflecting on the night before. The headspace that was supposed to be taken up by thoughts of the guys' pending tour was instead occupied by the words exchanged last night.

You couldn't shake the question he asked you and the way he asked it, with optimistic eyes and a curious smile. It echoed in your mind:

"Would you like to move in with me?"

It made your heart race with both elation and intimidation. The conversation that ensued was rational and calm. Jimin understood your shock at the proposition and told you to take some time to mull it over. You couldn't lie to yourself. It would make a lot of sense to live with him. You loved each other, and you were having a baby. Plus, this was one of the best ways to create that stable home environment - a little family living under one roof.

But if it wasn't for this baby, would he have wanted to? What did this mean for your future, not as parents, but as a couple? There was something to be said for remaining cautious with this. If you weren't at that point in your relationship, it could backfire to the detriment of the two of you and your child.

The Director of the Styling Department, Jang Sanghee, adjourned the meeting. As everyone else got up to go back to their personal work spaces, she called to you and Chaeyoung, “You two, please stay for a moment.”

You shared a look with your coworker and slowly sank back down into your chair at the long conference table.

Sanghee smiled at both of you once the door was closed. She was a warm woman, creative and smart. It was no wonder she was in this position. Her hair was a fitting shade of blonde and she always wore happy colors, matching her sunny disposition. She was someone the whole team respected and wanted to emulate.

“Ladies,” she folded her hands on the table, “First of all, thank you both for all your hard work on the concept for the tour. Because of your efforts, we are ahead of schedule. I wanted to speak with both of you due to a new development I’ve received from Management. The date for the boys’ new music video shoot has been confirmed for the first of September. I’m unable to attend this time, as my husband and I are taking a vacation for our anniversary, I’d like to send you two instead, since you’ve been working so close to this particular concept. You know the vision best.”

You were thrilled to have been asked, flattered that you were considered good enough to go. Chaeyoung smiled, “Wow, thank you so much. Have the looks been chosen for the music video yet?”

Your boss shook her head, “No, which is why it’s great that we are ahead of schedule with the tour. You can both take a pause on that for the coming weeks and pivot to this project.”

You inquired, “Where is the video being shot?”

“In Los Angeles,” Sanghee replied with a nod, “I will forward the email I got from Management about the location and the smaller details. You’ll love it, though. It’s a gorgeous, dated theater and we’re working with a large budget.”

Your heart dropped a little bit. You’d be five months along at that point. Though air travel would likely be safe for you, you’d need to consult with Doctor Yoon before accepting the offer. And that meant you’d need to tell Sanghee sooner than you planned. However, it was lucky that your check-up was in a few days. You’d be able to ask her then.

Chaeyoung’s excitement was evident, “It goes without saying, but I’d love to. Thank you again.”

Sanghee set her eyes on you next, tilting her head slightly to one side, “And you, Y/N? You don’t seem particularly enthused.”

You felt ashamed, unaware that it had been showing on your face. Instantly, you perked up and forced a more jubilant expression, “Oh, no I am. Thank you so much for choosing us. It’s just…I can’t give you a confirmation until Thursday. I hope that’s alright.”

The superior nodded, “Of course. May I ask why?”

You thought now was as good a time as ever, even though you really had no choice, and you trusted that both women would keep it confidential. You glanced behind to double check that the door was closed.

You inhaled deeply, “Well, I was planning to wait for a few more weeks to tell the office and HR, but I guess it’s alright to do it now. I’m expecting.”

Their eyes went wide, as did their smiles.

Chaeyoung, who was sitting next to you, brought you a hug, “Oh my gosh, congratulations!”

Sanghee grinned cordially, “That’s wonderful, Y/N. Congratulations. When are you due?”

“Early January,” you replied, face a bit pink from the flattery, “So I’m not very far along, but I’ll be right in the middle of it come September. That’s why I need to get my OBGYN’s approval to travel by air. I have an appointment this Thursday.”

Chaeyoung gasped excitedly, “Oh, that’s what these doctor’s appointments of yours have been for!”

You laughed. It was refreshing to receive a positive response to the news, for once. They would likely react very differently if they know who the father was, but they didn’t , so you’d take it.

Your boss stood up, grabbing her laptop, “Well then, you let me know what your doctor says and we will go from there.”

You nodded, “I will. Thank you very much.”

Sanghee left the meeting room to go back to her office. You and Chaeyoung followed her, walking side by side. She nudged you with her elbow gently and leaned over to whisper in your ear, “We’re going to lunch, on me.”

She was dying to know more, talking with her mouth full of bulgogi, “I need detail, Y/N. When did you find out? And who’s the father?”

You chuckled, taking a bite of your tteokbokki. The spice was likely to give you a little bit of heartburn, but you were craving it, “I’ve known for about a month.”

You had no idea how to answer the second question. Quickly, you shoved another mouthful of food in, giving yourself more time to think of a believable answer.

Chaeyoung looked at you expectantly, “Aaand? Come on, who is it?”

You swallowed, “He’s someone I’ve been seeing for a while. Nothing super serious, but I think he’ll stick around.”

She seemed to buy it, “That’s good. And hey, if it doesn’t work out it, don’t worry. Child support exists for a reason. What does he do for a living?”

You stammered, unable to make something up fast enough, “O-Oh, I really don’t think I should say. He’s a very private man.”

Chaeyoung grinned mischievously, “When a man is described as ‘private’, that means he’s rich. Is that true?”

You turned a shade of pink again, nodding bashfully, “Um, yeah. He’s affluent.”

She took her glass of water and clinked it against yours, giggling, “Cheers to that. I’m happy for you. I think you’ll be a great mom. The twins love you.”

You started to ease up, “Thanks, Chae. I have been coming around to it more and more. Any advice?”

“Oh, a ton!” She laughed, “I could go on for hours. I don’t want to overwhelm you, though, so my advice for right now is to hydrate well, buy a bigger bra because your boobs are about to get huge, and brace yourself to feel hornier than you ever have in your life.”

You broke into a laugh too, “Is it really that bad?”

She shrugged candidly, “I mean, it’s different for everyone, but I couldn’t keep my hands off my husband for weeks.”

Jimin entered your mind. Past images of him doing filthy things to you played like a film reel. You hadn’t been intimate since finding out about the pregnancy, and until recently, the thought never occurred to you. Both of you were far too concerned with more pressing matters. Now that the dust was settling, your desire for him was coming back with a vengeance.

“We’ll see.” you said.

“So if you’re due in January,” Chaeyoung began to ponder aloud, “You’ll be back in time for the tour. That is, if you’d want to bring the baby along.”

You froze. How could it have never crossed your mind? The tour would kick off in May. You were expected to go, as a stylist. Of course, no one had a clue that your employment would probably be terminated by then, as you and Jimin would likely make an announcement before the baby was born or shortly after.

However, there was a good chance that your job status wouldn’t matter. You had yet to discuss it, but you assumed that you’d be going along on the tour anyway. Surely, neither of you would want the baby separated from Jimin for that long.

“No pressure, of course,” Chaeyoung assured you after noticing that you were lost in thought, “The company would never mandate you to go with a newborn. At that point, it would have only been four months.”

You nodded, “Right. I guess it will come down to doctor’s advice.”

“Speaking of that,” she said, “Do you think you’ll be allowed to go to LA?”

You breathed out, collecting another bite of tteokbokki in your chopsticks, “I hope so. From what I understand, everything is normal. I had a clean bill of health at my first appointment.”

“I hope you can go too. I don’t know if I could manage all of that alone.”

“I’m sure you could,” you grinned, talking with your mouth full, “Plus, the guys will be happy to know you’re going. I think they enjoy the banter with you.”

She nodded, “Yes, but it will be the same for you too once you’ve travelled with them, like if you go on the tour. I’ve been with them since the early days, you know. They’ve grown to trust me. I’ve seen them go through a lot, even heartbreaks.”

You swallowed and took some water to handle the spice, “Heartbreaks?”

“Yeah,” she said with a sad look in her eyes, “I’m only sharing this with you because you’ve been around their girlfriends before and maintained the code of silence.”

You sat on the edge of your chair, hushing your voice, “What is it?”

She glanced around the two of you in the restaurant, making sure no one was within earshot. Then she looked at you and leaned forward, “Before you were hired, Jimin had a long-term girlfriend. I won’t say her name, but he was head over heels for her. A bunch of us on staff were betting that he’d marry her one day.”

It felt like you’d been kicked in the gut, “I see…When did they break up?”

She tried to recollect the timeline, “Hm, it was really close to when you started. Maybe a couple weeks?”

Your eyes widened, “A couple weeks?”

Jimin never mentioned this woman before. To hear that he’d been in love so close to meeting you sent a bad feeling down your spine. It made you jealous and frustrated…and frustrated that you were jealous.

Chaeyoung took another bite of her meal, humming with a nod, “If I’m remembering it correctly. None of the boys ever said so, but I’m almost positive she was the one who ended things. The poor guy was a wreck. It was horrible to watch, really. We all think she was using him.”

“For what?” You inquired, “Fame?”

“In essence, yes. And money. She’d get to go to all these big star-studded parties with him and rub elbows. She moved on to some big CEO here in Seoul, I’m pretty sure.”

You erased any indication of upset from your body language, “That’s awful. He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “My guess is that she had almost everything she wanted in him, except for one thing - publicity. Jimin’s always been super private, and she wanted the notoriety. I think she stuck around for so long, thinking that he’d get there one day, but nope.”

There was a sharp echo of what your parents were trying to convince you - that he’d never get around to going declaring this relationship in public. You shoved it away. This was a totally different scenario.

“How long did they date?” You asked.

“A little over two years.”

You were dumbfounded. How could you have never heard about this clearly significant part of his past? You wanted to know more without sounding nosy.

“That’s a long time for her to hang on, if what she wanted was to be seen with him.” You disguised a question with as a general statement, hoping it won’t prompt her to divulge the information you wanted.

Chaeyoung’s perfectly shaped eyebrows went up, “Well that’s the thing. He did take her out on dates.”

“How?” your brows furrowed, “They were never caught, right?”

She chuckled, “They did exactly what the other guys and their current girlfriends do. They wore masks, sunglasses, hats. They drove around with tinted windows. They went in the back entrance of places and reserved private rooms. And sometimes, they paid a tad extra for discretion. Before their time, idols were having to figure out how to do this. It’s like there’s an unwritten guide on how to date in their world. Nothing new.”

You felt so ingenuous. You knew there had to have been other partners in Jimin’s past, but it was off-putting that you were blind to one that had been there right before you got together. How could you not have known if he was just getting out of a serious relationship? And how could you move in with him without knowing all the facts? It was certainly a large thing to leave out, and it planted a most unwelcome seed:

How well did you truly know this man?

“Anyway,” Chaeyoung said, “When we get back to work, you should probably go tell HR. Now that your boss knows, you might as well tell them.”

Absentmindedly, you nodded, “Yeah…okay.”

All of the guys were gathered in Namjoon’s studio. Jimin had texted in their group chat that he needed a few minutes that afternoon to speak to them, and it had to be all of them at once.

Everyone was there now, so there was no point in drawing it out. He wanted to be able to look them all in the eye and announce it unabashedly, so he stood up. All of the members were looking at him with expectant faces, worried yet relieved that they were finally about to learn what had been going on.

“I know everyone has a busy day, so I’ll make this quick,” Jimin began, “I’m sorry that I’ve been hiding something from you all, and I know it’s been more obvious than I would have liked to admit. I only ask that you guys don’t freak out and listen to me.”

Jungkook gave him a slight nod while the rest remained silent in waiting. He took in a breath through his nose and then exhaled the last bit of nerves, ready to just get it over with. He didn’t even want to give them time to ask questions.

“There’s more going on between Y/N and me,” he said, “We’re having a baby.”

It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Mouths were agape, eyes were wide, a few curse words were tossed around. Internally, none of them were as wildly upset as Namjoon. He knew something was deeply wrong. He just knew it. His gut had been proven right.

Not that he wanted to be flooded with horrible reactions, but Jimin was confused as the silence went on and on, “Um…Nobody has a comment on that?”

“I’ve got one,” Yoongi had his hands behind his head in shock, “How the fuck did this happen?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung’s face was more worried than upset, “No offense, but birth control is ridiculously easy to get these days. Were you really not being careful?”

He told them the truth, scratching the back of his head, “We have always been careful, aside from this one time.”

“Wait, so you purposefully had sex without protection?!” Jin scoffed, “Jimin, how could you? You were asking for it.”

He sighed, feeling the heat rise, “It wasn’t like that. I mean, yes, we were both getting caught up in the moment, but she assured me that it wasn’t that time…you know, in her cycle.”

There was a collective groan in the room. Namjoon felt his blood boil.

The confessor defended both of you, “Roll your eyes all you want, but it happened. She’s nine weeks along, and we’re doing this.”

“Look, I’m never one to tell people how to live their life,” Yoongi’s approach was much calmer this time, “But this is going to change everyone in this room. We have the right to be honest about that. Not to mention, it’s going to get your girlfriend fired. You are going to have to come clean about this sooner or later, you know that, right?”

Jimin was becoming slightly annoyed, “Of course I do. I’m not an idiot.”

He had to settle himself down a bit for continuing, “And you’re right. All of you do have the right to be uneasy about this. I know it’s going to impact all of your lives too, and I’m sorry about that. But that doesn’t mean you get to make me and Y/N feel guilty.”

“We’re not trying to make you feel guilty,” Taehyung shook his head, “It’s just…holy shit.”

Hoseok took a composing breath, “I mean…are you happy about this, Jimin?”

He sat back down, “More and more, I really am. I’m a little upset with myself and I’ve been strained by all the unknowns, of course, so that’s been hard. But I love her and from the moment she told me, I’ve had this sense that it’s all meant to be. I know it sounds weird, but that’s the truth.”

Jin, as the oldest, felt compelled to take the lead, “No, it doesn’t sound weird.”

The others all looked at him, confused. This included Jimin. The oldest member took note of this and continued to defend this stance, “Hey, this was always going to happen, right? It’s not like none of us want kids. I know I do. One of us had to be first. I think we should all do what we can to support and be glad that it’s with someone that he loves.”

Jungkook finally spoke up, “I agree. How we respond to this will set the precedent, but it goes way deeper than that. One of us is really going to be a dad. I’m happy for you both, hyung.”

Yoongi came around, smiling a little, "You know what? Fuck all of it. I'm happy for you too."

Jimin felt a wave of relief start to wash ashore, bit by bit. It turned out that Jungkook had been right. It took them a few minutes to come to terms with the news, but eventually all of them embraced it - all but one. He started getting hugs and encouraging pats on his shoulder, shows of support and congratulations. It made him wonder why he'd been so afraid to begin with. These men had gone to hell and back with him before, and they would do it again. His gratitude for their camaraderie reached new depths.

Now feeling more relaxed than he had all day, he noticed Namjoon sitting there with a tense look on his face. He was staring ahead at nothing, looking like he was in some form of trance.

"Joonie?" he questioned hesitantly, "You're the only one who hasn't said anything."

The leader snapped out of it, finding that six pairs of eyes were glued to him, observing his body language. He let out a sigh and looked down. It pained him, but he strongly felt that he needed to be a voice of reason here.

"Jimin, you're my little brother and I love you..."

Taehyung remarked in the background, "That doesn't sound good."

Namjoon went on, "And it's because I love you that I feel like I need to say this. We all watched you go through the worst heartbreak of your life a year ago. I can't bear the thought of you going through that again. What Seoyeon did to you was unconscionable."

Jimin hadn't heard that woman's name in a long time, and he'd be lying if he said it didn't still sting, but even greater than that was the knee-jerk reaction to defend the woman he loved now, "I hope you aren't insinuating what I think you are."

"Yeah," Jungkook stepped in, "You're not seriously comparing Y/N to that clout-chaser, are you?"

The leader played his cards civilly, "I am simply saying that I have questions. You said you both willingly had sex without protection, right?"

Your boyfriend's temper became short, "Yes, we did. The key word there is 'both'. It was a mutual choice. You can call it dumb, but we're both to blame for it."

"I understand that much, but what about the second part?" Namjoon raised another inquiry, "The fact that she told you she couldn't get pregnant? Does that not make you or anyone else here a little suspicious?"

Jimin was seething now, "So what, are you saying she lied to me?"

Jungkook put his hand on the fuming member's back, but had a bad feeling that this was going to escalate further. Jimin's eyes were burning.

"I'm saying you need to consider that very carefully. Think about it. A baby links her to you for the rest of your life. To you, your money, your fame. All of it."

Jimin put his face in his hands, using every ounce of strength not to blow up. The two youngest in the group focused on cooling him down, while the others joined forces against the heavy accusation.

"Namjoon," Hoseok scowled, "I can understand that you think you're protecting him, but I think you're way out of line. Y/N is not a gold-digger."

"Yeah, think about what you're saying," added Yoongi, "You're saying she got pregnant on purpose. It makes no sense."

Jin chimed in too, "I thought you'd given up on this idea after we talked at my apartment."

That made Jimin perk up again. He looked at Jin, and then back at Namjoon with a dagger gaze, "Oh, so you've thought this about her for a while, have you?"

Jin shrunk a little. It wasn’t his intention to pour gasoline on the fire.

Unappreciative of being ganged up on, the leader raised his voice, "Maybe I have, but only because I don't want you to be screwed over again! I won’t be gaslit by all of you for having a fucking memory.”

“I’ve got a memory too,” Jimin’s tone became more aggressive, “And mine shows me that she couldn’t be more different than Seoyeon.”

“Yeah, well you’ve been thinking with your dick ever since you met Y/N, so maybe your judgement is clouded.” the leader spat.

The room erupted with a collective scorn of what had just been said. Jimin shot up. It was time to remove himself from these surroundings, otherwise this would go to a place he might live to regret. Rarely had he ever been so angry, and never at Namjoon.

His entire face was tight with fury, a vein in his neck bulging out, “I’m not going to just sit here and listen to this shit anymore. I’ve said all I needed to say.”

He turned around and stormed out of the room. Shutting the door behind him, he used his last bit of self-control not to slam it. Such a crashing sound would alarm the entire floor. However, this left him with a body filled with resentful energy. He began a brisk walk toward the stairwell, fists screaming at him for permission to punch a hole in the wall.

He opened the door to the stairwell and started to hustle down. It would be a long way to the lower floors, where a practice room would be waiting for him, but he needed the physical exertion.

Rounding the corner onto the sixth level, you appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He ran into you, making him realize how rage-blurred his mind had become. Jimin snapped out of it instantly, worried that he'd hurt you.

"Shit," he checked you with a quick scan of your frame, "I'm sorry, baby. Are you alright?"

You gasped when he used your pet name and darted your gaze around, "Shh, you can't call me that here. And yeah, I'm fine."

The silence between you made both of your somewhat heavy breathing more apparent. Now, you had follow-up questions for each other. At the same time, you asked it:

"What's going on?"

Both of you laughed a little, but fakely. Jimin said, "You go first. Why are you climbing up here instead of taking the elevator? And what's with that distant look on your face?"

What were you supposed to tell him? That you were rattled by what Chaeyoung said to you at lunch? That you were bothered with the idea of him getting out of a serious relationship just before starting something with you? This wasn't the time or place for it, but you could give him a half-truth instead. You softened your voice to a whisper, hesitating for a second, "I'm going up to talk to HR."

His eyes went a little wider, "Really? Already?"

"Yeah. I was in a meeting this morning and I kind of had to tell Sanghee and Chaeyoung, so I'm going to tell HR now," you explained, "Don't worry, I'll leave out certain information. It's just a formality."

He nodded slowly, glancing up at the ceiling for moment before sighing, "Alright. I guess you would have had to in the coming weeks anyway."

"Yeah...Anyway what's up with you? You look like you want to kill someone."

Jimin found some dark, twisted humor in that and chuckled, but he didn't want to share the reason. You were already dealing with enough - telling you that one of the members thought you were a scheming social climber would wound you, ramping up insecurities. As your partner and the father of your child, he felt it was his job to protect you from strife.

"No," he feigned a smirk so convincingly, "I've just got a lot on my mind, but that's my normal."

You grinned back, "Me too, especially these days."

Not wanting to get caught, he began to walk past you. As he brushed by your ear, he asked lowly, "Will I see you tonight?"

You assumed he wanted to continue the conversation about moving in together. It would allow you to speak with him about the things you learned regarding his past, which was uncomfortable but also essential. You needed to be an adult and talk it through.

"Yes, I'll be over later."

It was early in the evening, still plenty of daylight outside. Jimin was showering off, feeling as though he needed to rinse the remnants of this tense day off his body. The heat of the water was higher than usual, but he hardly noticed. The conflict was replaying in his mind over and over again.

Part of the reason he decided to shower was to get away from his phone. It had been blowing up ever since that dicey meeting with calls and texts from every member besides Namjoon, asking if he was alright and saying how bothered they were by the leader’s words.

Jimin had no idea when he’d feel like speaking to him next. All conflicts in the group were swiftly squashed, but this was a new level of agitation. Not only had he basically called the mother of his child a gold-digger, but he also insinuated that your relationship was purely rooted in sex. It caught him totally off guard, especially coming from a friend who was usually a peacemaker.

When you entered the apartment, it was right after work hours. You heard the faint sound of the shower running as you took your shoes off and set your bag down. Better not to go and meet your boyfriend in the bathroom, you thought. You didn't trust your hormones not to wig out and overtake you. You were intent on talking to him about his ex and asking him some related questions.

It seemed that Jimin didn't hear you enter, as the shower droned on for a while. It gave you time to wander into his kitchen and grab yourself a snack. He kept some packets of cookies in the pantry at all times, for when his sweet tooth would take hold. Unfortunately for him, your appetite was starting to change, and his sweets were beginning to disappear with every one of your visits.

You sat at one of the stools at the kitchen island, lazily munching on a cookie as you waited for him.

When Jimin finally turned off the water, he could have sworn that he heard the sound of crunching plastic. It gave him pause from towel-drying his hair. He shouted out to you, "Baby?!"

You called back to him, "Yeah, I'm here!"

All you heard in response was "Ah."

Then, his bare footsteps approached you. Out he came, entering the kitchen with wet, slicked-back hair and a black robe tied at the waist. The sight was by no means easy for you to look at, but at least he was covered.

From his viewpoint, the sight of you was a comfort. Not that he wanted you to be this worn out from work, but it was endearing how you looked while languidly eating his snacks.

He kissed your cheek, which was stuffed with food, before grabbing one of the soft baked goods for himself. His palm met the cool marble surface of the island as he leaned against it. Before taking a bite, he asked you, "How was the meeting with HR?"

You shrugged, "Nothing significant. They handled it very professionally, as expected. Basically, they walked me through the maternity leave policy and told me I was more than welcome to adjust my work schedule if necessary."

"That's great," he said with a full mouth, "Also, I've been wondering about this since running into you in the stairwell. Why did you have to tell Sanghee and Chaeyoung today?"

"Oh, right. Sanghee asked me and Chae to go with you guys for the music video filming in September. I couldn't say yes officially without a green light from Doctor Yoon, and I was honest about that. So basically I had no other choice but to tell them."

Jimin's eyes were round with excitement for you, "Wow, that's awesome, baby! You'll be able to travel abroad with us...You don't seem particularly thrilled, though.”

You turned your head a little so you were facing him directly, "Huh? Oh, no I am. I'm just...You know how yesterday was a long and weird day for me?"

He nodded.

"Well, today was longer and weirder."

He hummed as he swallowed the contents in his mouth, dusting any crumbs from his hands by rubbing them together a couple times. He walked behind you and started to massage your shoulders, "If you're in the mood to talk about it, I'm here."

His lips were so close to your temple as he said that. Your eyes fluttered shut as you let him work through your muscles. You let out a breath through your mouth, so quietly and delicately that it was almost impossible to hear, but Jimin was right there.

He began to kiss the outer shell of your ear, and you did it again. You rarely got upset with his effect on you - it was often more than welcome. But in this instance, you were fighting it. You wouldn’t let yourself be taken by him tonight. It felt like giving a pass to everything you had learned about him, as if sex would be a means of saying that it was all okay. Besides, that wasn’t the only matter that needed to be discussed. He’d asked you to move in with him, for goodness sake.

Jimin was fighting it too. If he caved to desire, he would be proving Namjoon right. He would be, in essence, thinking with his dick. Therefore, he was resisting his own biology, but very poorly. It had been a month since he’d had you. A whole month without touching you, feeling your warmth around him.

The more he pictured, the more he lusted after you. Soon enough, his body began to betray his standing. His lips suckled gently on the skin right below your ear lobe as his length began to swell.

You felt it against your lower back and sighed, shaking your head, “Jimin…Not tonight.”

In a turn of events, now you were upset at yourself. Your hormones protested the refusal, a carnal knot tangling in your core. It had been so long without his hands on you, so long since you’d seen him come undone.

Jimin was never one to push the envelope. He took you at your word and backed off. Forcing a totally content expression, he gave you some space. He retreated to the wall next to the entryway to the kitchen, back against it.

You swiveled in the stool so you could face him. Even though you’d just rejected his advances, the raging pregnancy hormones made it impossible to stop looking at him.

He gave you a small grin, “I really am here to talk, if you want. I know we probably have lots to go over, huh?”

You barely heard his thoughtful sentiment, too captivated by the optical banquet before you. His robe was a bit loose at the top, creating a low ‘v’ that exposed the inner bump of his pecs. His hair was wet and pushed back, exposing his nearly perfect hairline and forehead. And then was the worst yet best of all - the protrusion at his crotch.

Your face was pink as you drank him in. Jimin watched your chest rise and fall in the way it always did when you were needy. That did him in, turning him into the man you’d come to know so well over the past year. Fuck whatever Namjoon would have to say. He knew nothing.

He brought on the final blow, the devilish upturn of his lips.

“Do you wanna talk about it or not?”

You looked down, “I...”

“Why did you look away, baby?” He pushed himself off the wall and sauntered over to you, teasing you with that sultry voice of his.

He stood next to you, body angled toward you as he leaned sideways over the counter, propping his head up with his hand. This pulled the neckline of his robe open even more, giving you a more complete view of his chest. Your eyes were starving as you began to feel a pool of wetness form in your panties.

You looked at the tent in his robe. It was taunting you. You pursed your lips together and looked back up at his eyes, which appeared to be devouring you on the spot.

You were both at the point of decision now, each of you laboring against the magnetism.

Jimin inched closer to you, his tone dropping low, “Not in a talkative mood, are we?”

You rolled your eyes, “Shut up.”

You practically pounced on him, standing up and sealing his lips with yours. He smirked pompously into the kiss, arms wrapping around your waist.

You weren’t playing around tonight, biting down on his lower lip. He groaned, his cocky demeanor being replaced by an insatiable appetite. You exhaled a moan as he lifted you up and set you on the countertop.

“Oh, sweetheart…” he breathed as he sucked and nibbled on your neck.

You were greedy for more, running one hand through his wet hair and gathering some in your fist to hold him against your flesh.

“I need you so fucking bad,” Jimin growled, “It’s been so long.”

“I know,” you moaned, “I wasn’t in the mood for a while but now I want it more than ever.”

“Mm,” he went back to attacking your lips, “You want me, baby?”

Your mind felt foggy with desire, your womanhood soaking your underwear with arousal, “Yes, I want you so bad it hurts.”

He pulled his face away from you for a moment. His eyes were black with primal lechery as he took your chin between his thumb and the knuckle of his index finger, “Is this because of your hormones, hm?

You smiled a little, panting, “They’ve been nuts lately.”

He hummed with satisfaction, “My poor baby, dealing with so many side effects from carrying my child.”

It appeared as though both of you had discovered a new kink. He was obsessed with the thought of it, and you were set ablaze when he said it.

You resumed the making out promptly, losing yourself in the taste of him. Jimin’s hands cupped your ass, giving it a squeeze before lifting you off the counter. You kept your legs wrapped around his torso and occupied his lips as he carried you away.

The next thing you knew, you were set down with your back on his bed. He assumed his rightful place on top of you, his robe parting at the legs so that his cock became free.

"You are far too covered for my liking." he said, pulling you up so you sat on his lap.

You couldn't help yourself. As he went to undo the buttons of your cream silk blouse, you wrapped your hand around his length. Your touch made him stop, his palms meeting the surface of the comforter at his sides.

His eyes closed, brows knitting together for a second before relaxing again. He licked his lips and sucked in a hitched breath once you began to palm his balls. You were addicted to this facial expression - fully absorbed in the moment and dying for more.

"What are you doing?" his voice was raspy, "I was in the middle of getting you naked."

You sank into the role of innocence, "I'm sorry. Would you like me to stop?"

"No," he returned all too quickly, "No, keep going. In fact, do more baby. Please."

The word 'please' was your cue that the time to act innocent was over. You smirked and removed your hands. You scooted off his lap and then off the bed entirely. Jimin followed you to the edge of the bed, anticipating your next move. Before proceeding, you decided to give him a little show. You wanted to bring him to the brink of madness.

Tantalizingly slow, you undid button after button of your shirt. You let it fall from your shoulders and pulled the rest of it off your body, dropping it to the floor. Your boyfriend was transfixed by your breasts, so plump and cupped by your bra, spilling over it.

"Your tits look bigger." he said.

You removed your bra, "Do they?"

He bit the inside of his cheek, "They do."

You smiled softly and removed the rest of your clothing. As you pulled your jeans down, you turned around, giving him a full view of your ass in a pair of seamless black panties. When you faced him again, he looked as if he wanted to eat you alive.

Jimin began untying the loose knot of the robe, pulling the fluffy garment off his body. He sat there fully bare, cock straight and veiny, more than ready to receive your touch. The image was so obscene - muscular thighs that could probably suffocate you spread open, balls hanging off the bed at the base of his leaking, throbbing member.

You maintained a sensual eye contact as you lowered onto your knees in front of him. The rug beneath his bed offered some comfort.

Jimin could have blown his load just looking at you like that, so gorgeous and eager to please.

“I wouldn’t wait too much longer, sweetheart,” he rasped, “Otherwise I’ll have to pick you up and blow your fucking back out. I- Ah, shit.”

You’d successfully shut him up by engulfing his entire cock in one go.

You began bobbing your head up and down at a steady pace.

“Fuck,” he sighed with a shaky disposition, “I missed this pretty mouth of yours.”

You hummed around him, the vibration making him bite his lip and allow his head to fall back. Your jaw became slightly sore after a minute or so and you pulled off, a popping sound releasing as your lips broke contact. His dick sprung up and down, stiff with longing.

Jimin gritted his teeth, piercing you with sexually frustrated, blown-out eyes. He took a firm grip of your hair, making you moan while looking up at him.

“Did I say you could stop?”

He couldn’t fight the urge to boss you around while you were literally kneeling before him. He searched your eyes to make sure you into it, and they were radiating all the right signals. You loved it when he became dominant like this.

Without giving you the chance to respond, he placed his other hand in your hair and pushed you back down on his cock. You gave him full control of your movements, loving the tingling tug on your scalp.

His mouth fell open in a slew of moans, one for every time you reached the base of him. He was acting like a man possessed, totally unaware of all other surroundings.

“Such a good girl,” he praised, “So mine.”

You whimpered around him.

“Shit,” he hissed, letting you go free for a moment as he stood up, then he went right back to owning you, “How did I go so long without this? Did you miss having my cock in your mouth, baby?”

You hummed in agreement.

“I thought so,” Jimin began to hold your head in place and thrust his hips instead, rutting into the confines of your wet lips like an animal, “God, Y/N…Feels so fucking good. I bet you want a big load of my cum in your throat, hm? Or should I fill up that pussy again?"

The thought of him shooting his seed into your sopping cunt made you both moan. Now there was no reason why he couldn't.

You choked on him when you tried to say something. He permitted you to pull off his dick, still holding you by the hair. The way you looked up at him, eyes glassed over with arousal and tears from gagging, made his cock twitch. He was getting close.

You were catching your breath when you said, "Both."

There was a hint of a leer on his face before he began thrusting inside your mouth again, going full force. You mewled as he face-fucked you, letting out his own grunts and groans.

"Fuck, you want both, baby? I'll give you both."

His ruts became sloppier and his breaths jagged. He was approaching the pinnacle, while you were enjoying the act of driving him insane.

"Shit, sweetheart," his head launched backward, "I'm cumming!"

Your tongue was flooded with a warm saltiness as he let out a loud whine. His eyes screwed shut and mouth locked in an open shape, his hips compulsively gave it a few final ruts. When he came down from the rapture, he collapsed back into his original sitting position on the bed.

You swallowed what he gave you and wiped the excess saliva off your chin before being picked up and laid on the comforter. You were grinning at each other, but you didn't want to lose the fire and get all soft and cushy just yet. You were having too much fun.

You laughed and mirrored his own words back at him, "I wouldn't wait too long."

He chuckled darkly, "You're a little minx, you know that? Now let's get these annoying panties off."

They were a thin, delicate material - easily torn apart when he used the right amount of force. The ripping sound was quick, as if it took no effort at all. You gasped at the sudden action, subdued once more.

Heaven came to you once his fingers grazed over your bud. He cursed when he felt how soaked you were.

"Let me taste you," he said, shifting backward, "I wanna taste how ready you are for me."

Normally, you preferred his fingers, but all bets were off now. You were so horny that any form of contact from him would feel amazing. You nodded hastily, letting him trail down your body. He left kisses and suckled as he moved down. When he got to your belly, he took more care.

He lingered right below your belly button for a moment, placing several kisses there, "When will you pop? I want to see my baby grow."

You smiled softly, "Soon, I hope. If I'm going to have all these symptoms, I at least want something to show for it."

"Mm," His fingers traced over your womb, "If being this cock hungry is one of your symptoms, I'm more than okay with it."

You would have giggled, but then his lips attached themselves to your inner thigh and you gasped instead. You resorted to shifting your hips toward him, greedy.

When his tongue finally met your clit, your back arched off the bed. To hold you in place as you writhed, Jimin gripped your thighs. You tasted delectable, a different flavor than before getting pregnant.

"J-Jimin..."

You didn't care about anything else. You'd forgotten all about the tension you felt when you arrived, and all of the stressful topics you had to talk about. In this moment, you knew he was all yours.

His tongue flicked over your femininity rapidly, applying the right amount of pressure.

"You're so juicy, baby," he sighed, "So ripe for me and me alone, isn't that right?"

You were a moaning mess, non-verbal.

He squeezed your thighs, "Hm? Use your words."

You half moaned, half chuckled, "You sound like - ah, you sound like a dad already."

He would have found it amusing, but he was far too entrenched. In a way that only Jimin could, he turned what you said into something filthy.

“Then why don’t you cum for Daddy?”

That name hadn't yet been introduced in your intimacy, but in this context, it brought you closer to ecstasy. You mewled under the power of his tongue, and the way his lips located just the right place to suck gently.

He was already getting hard again by the sound of your pleasure, the warm, slick feeling of it on his face.

"Tell me how it feels, sweetheart." he muttered before returning to work.

"S-So fucking good, Jimin." you whined.

He looked at you with sinister eyes and a grin, "Baby, that's not my name tonight. Come on, say it. I can tell you love it."

Your face got redder, "It feels so good, Daddy."

His cock twitched, "Are you gonna cum on my tongue? Do you want Daddy to fill up your pussy again?"

It snapped, the bundle inside you. You squirmed, legs shaking as you unraveled. The moans you let out were panted and beautiful, giving him gratification.

As you came back down to the world, Jimin smirked, "You came fast."

You smiled through your afterglow, "I told you, my hormones are nuts. But you might have had something to do with it too."

He kissed the insides of both of your thighs, "I could fucking live down here, right between these gorgeous legs."

You ran your hand through his hair, "Are you hard enough yet?"

Jimin kissed your knee with a smirk, "Oh, is my baby getting impatient for her second load?"

You said nothing and grabbed his wrists to pull him over your body. He chuckled at your fervor, but neither of you was laughing when his cock aligned at your folds, prodding and searching for release. His face was hovering over yours, and you gave him a slight nod to signal that you were ready.

His face had been drained of any fluff and romance, replaced totally by carnal ardor. He was going to fucking ruin you.

His hips rolled forward swiftly, filling you to the hilt immediately. You gasped, sensitive from your orgasm. He found a quick pace right away, groaning at the feeling that he'd been missing for a month.

"You're so fucking tight, sweetheart," he grunted, "So fucking tight and needy for Daddy's cock."

His filthy words were encasing you in heat, making you ache for more, "I-I wish you...I wish you put your baby in me sooner, Daddy."

Jimin began to fuck you harder, more turned on than he'd ever been in his life, "Yeah?"

"Y-Yeah," you panted, "Because now you can - Ah! Now you can fuck me raw like this all you want."

"Holy shit," he moaned, eyes squeezed shut, "You're such a dirty girl. Everyone at work thinks you're sweet as can be. How wrong they are.”

"I'm only like this for you." you moaned.

His head dipped to the valley of your breasts, "That's right, baby. My cock drives you wild every fucking time, hm? That's how you ended up like this."

Then he pulled out for a second, breathing heavily. He became upright on his knees and pulled you toward him, legs up on his shoulders. You moaned at how effortlessly he was able to take control of your body, positioning you exactly how he wanted.

When he re-entered you, he hit much deeper, sending a jolt of pleasure up your spine. As his hips slammed into yours, your boobs moved in a circular motion.

He delighted in it, "Fuck yeah, look at those tits bounce."

Their movement caused you soreness. They'd been sensitive for a while now, but it was nothing too painful, "They're a little s-sore, Daddy."

Jimin smirked amid his euphoria, "That's because they're getting all nice and big. They need to be able to make lots of milk for my baby. Fuck, that's so hot."

He railed you harder than ever before, unrelenting and rough, chasing another orgasm. You knew you were going to be wobbly after this. You were a mess below him, practically sobbing as he made the world spin. You were delirious, and it only encouraged him to keep pounding into your cunt.

Sweat was beginning to make both of your bodies sticky.

“Look at you,” he exhaled, the air in his lungs feeling scarce, “So fucked out for Daddy. So starved for my cum, even though you’ve already got my child inside you. You’re insatiable. Beg for it, baby. Tell me how much you want it, and maybe I’ll give it to you.”

You were so close to a second climax that you couldn’t speak.

Jimin let go of one of your legs so he could give your ass and underhanded smack, “Don’t make Daddy ask again. Fucking beg for it.”

You whined, “Please cum inside me! I want your load, Daddy! Please give it to me!”

He could tell how close you were and wanted to send you up to the stars. With both of your legs still up on his shoulders, he started to rub your clit in the circular motion he knew you loved.

“O-Oh!” you moaned, “I’m gonna cum!”

Your peak rammed into you just as hard as his dick. Your cunt squeezed and clenched around him, making him groan out, “Christ, that’s it baby. Milk my cock for my seed. This cunt has me so close already.”

You were bordering on overly sensitive now, the pleasure becoming a faint, delicious pain, “I want it, I want it all Daddy.”

“I know you do,” he gritted his teeth, “You’re going to take it all, just like you did last time. Fuck.”

He was nearing the end, taking your legs and letting them return to the plush surface of the bed. Then he returned to a missionary position, jackhammering into you with desperate, inconsistent thrusts.

“So close,” he chanted, “Oh God! Gonna give you such a big load. Cup my balls, sweetheart. Feel how much cum I still have for you.”

Obedient as ever, you did as you were told, reaching around to hold his balls in the palm of your hand. They felt so swollen and full, heavy with more of the genetic material that had helped create the child in your womb. You gently caressed and rolled them.

“Ugh, keep doing that!” he released a moan, sweat dripping down his temple, “I’m cumming!”

With one last shattering sound, jets of semen poured into you. His hips slammed into you out of reflex as he rode it out, cursing and mewling. His member was pulsating inside of you, making you hum with contentment.

Jimin’s arms gave out and his weight fell on you, making you giggle as both of you heaved. You were both in a glowing, exhausted, perspiring state, bodies tangled.

It was only then that he dropped the promiscuous demeanor, kissing your breast lazily, “Fuck, I love you. I love you so much.”

You wrapped your quivering legs around him, pulling him in deeper, panting, “I love you too.”

Then he lifted his head, giving you the chance to see his worn out, adoring smile. His chest was rising and falling, and strands of damp black hair were dangling over your nose. You ran your hands through his hair, pulling it back so you could see his entire face.

“One of our best ever,” he exhaled, “That was unbelievable.”

You laughed, “I agree.”

He rolled off you, closing his eyes and relishing in this blissful feeling, “I’m afraid I’ll have to shower again. Join me?”

You smirked and twisted around so that you were on top of him. You kissed him slowly and deeply. Jimin’s heart could have burst. As always, you managed to take all of the worries out of his head. You erased all negativity, all anger. He felt your soft lips on his and experienced nothing but optimism.

His hands went to your cheeks, keeping you right where you were for what felt like hours.

“This is why I want you to move in with me,” he mumbled between kisses, “I want to come home to you, and for you to come home to me.”

Though you feigned a small grin, the conversation you had with Chaeyoung broke through this perfect bubble. Now that your sexual urges had been quelled, you couldn’t ignore what you had come here to discuss in the first place.

Your heart began to deflate as you imagined him loving that other woman, being devastated from losing her, right before he became smitten with you. The more you remembered, the more your face fell.

“Y/N?” Jimin’s eyes were confused.

You frowned and climbed off of him, sitting up.

Your boyfriend was perplexed, sitting up beside you. The way you were staring straight ahead unnerved him, “Sweetheart, what is it? Do you…not want to move in?”

You closed your eyes with a sigh, “It’s not that. I would, I just…I was told something today that really caught me by surprise. I need the truth.”

He couldn’t imagine why you were talking about honesty. He’d never transgressed against you in that way, at least not severely.

“Okay,” he gave you a nervous smile, “What do you want to talk about?”

You were deadly serious, turning your head to look him in the eye. He took note of how concerned, and even a little hurt, you were.

“Tell me about your ex. The one who left right before we got together.”

[anonymousewrites]

Apple of My Eye Chapter Four

Eventual! Harry Hook x Child of Snow White! Reader

Platonic! Descendants x Reader

Chapter Four: Out There

Summary: Family Day goes extraordinarily wrong.

            “I’m guessing you got Mal ready for her date with Ben?” said (Y/N) as they sprawled across Evie’s bed.

            “I picked out her outfit, did her makeup, reminded her that him being nice isn’t disrespectful like on the Isle, and tried to remind her to have a good time,” said Evie.

            “A whole bootcamp,” chuckled (Y/N). “I did the same for Ben. Sure, he and Audrey were…something, but it was mostly Audrey dragging him around at organized events. This was the first time he actually asked someone out. He’s nervous.” They looked at Evie as she sewed. “What about Mal?”

            “Mal doesn’t get nervous. But this isn’t something she’s used to. It’s not like her mom told her how to date,” said Evie. “My mom was the only one really interested in having her child learn about that. The others…it wasn’t encouraged.”

            “Is that why you’re trying to find a prince?” asked (Y/N).

            “I’m the daughter of a queen. My mom has high standards for me and whoever I date,” said Evie.

            “You should be able to fall in love with whoever you want,” said (Y/N).

            Evie smiled slightly. “It would be nice to fall in love and just…be.”

            (Y/N) grinned. “It sounds like you’re thinking of someone?”

            Evie’s eyes widened, she blushed, and she chuckled nervously. “I’m not.”

            “Uh-huh, sure,” said (Y/N). “He likes you, too.” They didn’t have to say Doug’s name for Evie to know. “He was going on and on about how well you’re doing in chemistry today at lunch.”

            “He told you about that?” said Evie, smiling.

            “He’s always talking about you,” said (Y/N). “Always, ‘did you see Evie’s outfit today? She looks amazing. And she’s so smart, and she explained how she made her jewelry, and she’s so creative.’ ”

            “He thinks all that about me,” said Evie softly.

            “He thinks the world of you,” said (Y/N). “You shouldn’t hold yourself back from that if you like him.”

            Evie smiled, and then her smile fell. Soon…soon this would all be over. The villains would be freed and overrun Auradon. It wouldn’t matter what her feelings towards Doug or anyone else at Auradon were.

            “I’ll think about it,” said Evie. She cleared her throat and smiled at (Y/N). “And you’re still certain no one here interests you? I think I’ve seen a few different people looking at you. Merida’s daughter is pretty dashing, and Esmeralda’s child is very good-looking.” Evie grinned. “And I saw you watching them dance. You like someone with some sway.” Evie got up and pretended to dance with a wink.

            (Y/N) laughed and sat up. “I find them attractive, sure. Who wouldn’t love those green eyes and hips? But I don’t feel…”

            “The spark of True Love?” said Evie.

            “That,” agreed (Y/N).

            “Do you get worried you won’t find it?” said Evie.

            “Sometimes,” admitted (Y/N). “But it would be a disservice to myself to settle for less than what I want.” And (Y/N) wasn’t just saying that about themself.

            Evie smiled. “I hope you find who you’re looking for.”

            “I hope you do, too,” said (Y/N). “And until then, we’ve got good friends, right?”

            “Right.” Evie grinned.

            “Oh, by the way,” said (Y/N), leaning in. “Speaking of good friends, would you do me a favor as one?”

            “What is it?” said Evie.

            “Would you design an outfit for me? For the coronation?” said (Y/N). They smiled. “I love your designs, so it would be really cool if you would make me one. Even just a sketch.”

            They could have sworn Evie’s eyes lit up. “I have been waiting for this moment.���

            “Is that a yes?” said (Y/N).

            Evie grabbed (Y/N) and pulled them to their feet. She already had a measuring tape in her hands. “I have free reign?”

            “I’m scared and excited by this intensity,” said (Y/N).

            Evie gave them a positively evil grin. Royalty to dress up? Her friend to dress up? She was going to have a field day.

            “(Y/N), your mother might be the fairest of them all, but we’re about to give these royals their first taste of real style,” said Evie.

            (Y/N) grinned.

l

            “As you know, this Sunday is Family Day at Auradon Prep,” said Fairy Godmother, smiling at her Remedial Goodness 101 class. “And because your parents can’t be here due to…distance—” she laughed awkwardly “—we’ve arranged for a special treat.” She turned on a computer, and the screen displayed four familiar, infamous villains.

            Their kids straightened and paled. This would be a…very special treat.

l

            “Do you think Family Day is going to go well?” said Ben.

            “We do the same things every year other than changing the song-and-dance routine,” said (Y/N). They smiled. “So, yes. You shouldn’t be worrying about this of all things.”

            Ben cleared his throat. “But things are…different this year. I’m with Mal, now, and I want her to meet my parents.”

            “That’s a big step,” said (Y/N). They smiled. “You really like her.”

            Ben’s smile softened shyly. “I do.”

            “I’m happy for you,” said (Y/N).

            “Do you think my parents will like her?” said Ben. “I know they were hesitant about the program, but Mal and her friends are really great.”

            “Your parents learned to see past prejudice, so they should come around,” said (Y/N). They paused. “Eventually.”

            Ben sighed. “I just want this to go well.”

            “I’ll be there to help,” promised (Y/N). “My mom and dad know I’m part of the organizing committee, so if you need to call me away for some help, it’s fine.”

            “Thanks, (Y/N),” said Ben.

            “Anytime, my prince,” teased (Y/N).

            Ben groaned at the title, and (Y/N) laughed.

l

            One disastrous videocall later, all thoughts of happiness over being at Auradon had flitted from the VKs’ minds. They knew what they had to do the day of the coronation. They knew what would happen to them if they didn’t pull it off. They knew the consequences for everyone if they did.

            “Okay, we all know what it looks like,” said Mal. “So, we’ll be up on the dais under Beast’s spell jar, and we’re coming in from here. I will be in the very front. You all will be up on the balcony.”

            “Okay,” said Evie.

            “Carlos?” said Mal.

            “Okay, so I’ll find our limo, so we can break the barrier and get back on the Isle with the wand,” said Carlos.

            “Perfect,” said Mal. “Evie?”

            “Yeah?” said Evie.

            “You will use this to take out the driver.” Mal held up a perfume bottle. “Two sprays, and he’ll be out like a light.”

            “Okay.” Evie nodded solemnly.

            Carlos and Jay nodded. Mal looked at each of them and nodded. The plan was set. They just needed to follow it through. However, Mal found herself slouching down in her seat as she gazed at the potion she wanted to make.

            Evie’s eyes widened as she saw the page. “M?” She furrowed her brow. “You want to break Ben’s love spell?”

            “Yeah.” Mal cleared her throat and tried to defend herself without letting her true feelings shine through. “You know, for after. I don’t…” Evie sat down next to her, and Mal swallowed. “I’ve just been thinking, you know, when the villains finally do invade Auradon and begin to loot and kick everyone out of their castles and imprison their leaders and destroy all that is good and beautiful…” Mal pursed her lips. “Ben still being in love with me just seems a little extra…cruel.”

            Evie’s gaze softened. Mal cared, truly, about Ben. Evie understood. They had all made friends and bonds here at Auradon, and those would all be burned away when their parents came and took over Auradon.

            “I’ve been thinking about that, too,” said Evie. “My mother…she’s going to kill Snow White this time. She’s going to make sure of it. She’ll have her revenge and be the fairest in the land again.” Evie paused. “And I don’t know what she’ll do to (Y/N) just for being Snow White’s child.” She looked at Mal. “They’re…kind. I don’t want them to—” She looked down. Her friend was going to be hurt because they were kind like their mother.

            “I know,” said Mal. “I know, E.”

l

            (Y/N) stood behind Ben in blue slacks and a white blouse with yellow bows as Family Day began. He stepped into the small group of students performing and put on a charming smile.

(Ben) “Ma chere Mademoiselle, It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure, That we welcome you tonight, And now we invite you to relax, Let us pull up a chair, As the dining room proudly presents, Your dinner.”

            He bowed, and the group began to dance.

(All) “Be our guest, be our guest, Put our service to the test, Tie your napkin ‘round your neck, Cherie, And we’ll provide the rest.” (Ben) “That’s right.” (All) “Soup du jour, Hot hors d’oeuvres, Why we only live to serve, Try the gray stuff, it’s delicious.” (Ben) “Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes.”

            He grinned, and (Y/N) and a few men moved up to dance with him.

(All) “They can sing, sing, sing, They can dance, dance, dance, After all, miss, this is France, And the dinner here is never, never second best! Come on, go on, unfold your menu, Go on, take a glance, and then you’ll Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest. Yeah, be our guest.”

            Everyone came together and weaved in and out of lines.

(Ben) “We tell jokes, I do tricks, With my fellow candlesticks.” (All) “And it’s all in perfect taste, That you can bet. Come on and lift your glass, You’ve won your own free pass, To be our guest.” ((Y/N)) “If you’re stressed, It’s fine dining we suggest.” (All) “Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest. Yeah, yeah! Come on, be our guest, be our guest, Come on, come on, Be our guest!”

            They finished with a flourish and a bow. They were met with cheers and claps, and so the group bowed again.

            (Y/N) spotted their friends, smiled, and walked over. “You made it.”

            “Wouldn’t have missed that,” said Mal. “It’s cheesier than the snacks.”

            (Y/N) laughed sheepishly. “You should’ve seen a few years ago. It was a rendition of ‘Heigh-Ho.’ That was a trainwreck.” They glanced at their phone. “My parents are arriving soon, so I’m going to say ‘hi’ to them, but if you need me, just come and find me. My parents and I won’t mind.” They waved. “Bye.”

l

            “(Y/N).” Snow hugged their child tightly, and Florian joined the hug a moment after her. “Oh, it’s been too long.”

            (Y/N) laughed. “I saw you just two weeks ago,” they said.

            “Still too long,” said Florian, smiling. “Tell us about everything.”

            “We’ve heard about Prince Ben’s new program. Is it going well?” said Snow.

            “I think it is,” said (Y/N), smiling. “Ben’s fighting to do what’s right, and I think it’s going to pay off.”

            “That’s wonderful,” said Florian. “Who are the four students? You haven’t told us anything.”

            “We have Jay, son of Jafar. He’s really strong and a great leader at sports. Then there’s Carlos, son of Cruella. He’s a real sweetheart with a big heart,” said (Y/N).

            “I like the sound of them,” said Snow.

            “And then there’s Mal, daughter of Maleficent,” said (Y/N). “A little rougher around the edges, but she’s really funny and cares about her friends. I admire her strength.” They paused and glanced between their parents. “And last we have Evie, the best fashion designer I’ve met and a girl with the strongest, sweetest heart. She’s basically my best friend. She’s the daughter of…the Evil Queen.”

            Florian stiffened slightly, and Snow paused. (Y/N) bit their lip.

            “Mom?” they said.

            “It’s…unexpected,” said Snow. “I can’t say it doesn’t make me nervous to know that someone raised by my stepmother in a place with very few good influences is near you.” She smiled. “But if you believe they have good hearts, then I’ll believe it.”

            (Y/N) relaxed. “They really are great people. I think it’s taking time for some people to see it, but—”

            “You!” A frightened, furious voice pierced the air.

            All heads turned to the croquet field. Queen Leah, mother of Aurora—Sleeping Beauty—stood staring at Mal, who took a step back at her cry.

            “How are you here?” demanded Leah. “And how have you stayed so young?”

            (Y/N) moved to the field before their parents could even say a word, and everyone watched as they stepped between Leah and Mal.

            “Queen Leah, it’s alright,” said (Y/N). “This isn’t Maleficent. She’s still on the Isle.”

            Ben stepped up beside them and smiled. “This is her daughter, Mal. Don’t you remember my proclamation to give the new generation a chance?”

            “A chance to what, Ben?” said Leah sharply. “Destroy us?” She looked around at everyone. “Come on, you remember, don’t you?” She looked at Snow and Florian and then at (Y/N). “The poison apples?”

            Evie’s eyes went to the ground, and (Y/N) tried to catch her gaze and shake their head, to remind Evie it was alright, but Leah was still speaking, still hurting, still turning people’s heads away from the kids who deserved a chance.

            “And the spells,” said Leah. “Spells. My daughter was raised by fairies because of your mother’s curse.” Mal flinched. “So her first words, her first steps, I missed it all. You mustn’t trust her.”

            “Queen Leah, your daughter was cruelly punished for a simple mistake,” said (Y/N) softly. “But it would be unfair to Mal to punish her for what her mother did. We can’t change if we continue the same cycle of hurting people.”

            The VKs’ lips parted at (Y/N)’s words, and their eyes went to the ground. All this hurt, and they were going to—

            “I’m sorry,” said Mal, stepping forward.

            Chad moved in and pushed Mal back. (Y/N) instantly took a step forward, and Chad stepped back slightly.

            Still, he glared at Mal. “Stay away from them.”

            “Don’t do this, Chad,” said (Y/N).

            “What?” Chad scoffed incredulously. “They were raised by their parents, (Y/N). What do you think villains teach their kids, huh? Kindness? Fair-play? No way, okay? Nuh-uh.” He looked at Mal. “You stole another girl’s boyfriend.” Ben almost lunged, but Chad just held up his hands. “Hey, hey!” He looked at Jay. “You enjoy hurting people.” He looked at Evie. “And you’re nothing but a gold digger and a cheater.”

            “Chad!” said (Y/N), raising their voice. “You do not speak to my friends that way.”

            “Friends? You think they’re your friends?” Chad stepped forward. “You’re just the idiot idealist who is playing pretend that villains could ever become good. Wake up. You’re going to be the first in line to get hurt, playing ‘besties’ with the Evil Queen’s daughter. Let’s just hope you don’t take a bit of any food she gives you.”

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened at the accusation, and Evie’s hands quivered. She pulled her mirror from her bag.

            “Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who’s the biggest jerk in the land?” She sneered and held it up to display Chad’s face.

            He scoffed and batted her hand away. “Come on.”

            “Hey!” Jay grabbed Chad for putting his hands on Evie. “Back off, Chad!”

            “Alright, hey!” Doug nervously tried to intervene.

            “Just back off!” said Jay.

            Evie dug a perfume bottle out of her bag and pushed into Chad’s face. She pulled the pump twice, and a mist fell into Chad’s face. Instantly, he collapsed.

            “Chad? Chad?!” Audrey gasped as Doug caught him.

            Horrified gasps and cries went up in the crowd at the sight.

            “Evie did something to Chad!” cried Lonnie.

            “Come on, Mal,” said Evie, grabbing Mal’s hand as everyone stared at them like they were a freakshow.

            “Chad, wake up!” cried Audrey.

            The VKs ran from the party. Ben and (Y/N) were left to stare helplessly at one another. Ben’s gaze went to his parents and then to the floor upon seeing their disappointment. (Y/N) turned and ran after their friends.

l

            “Guys,” said (Y/N), catching up to them. “Are you…” They trailed off. Of course they weren’t alright. “Can I help at all?”

            “We don’t need your pity,” said Mal.

            “Mal, I’m not trying to pity you, I want to help,” said (Y/N). “What Chad said was unfair, and your reactions were provoked. That wasn’t your fault.”

            The other VKs just looked away from them.

            “Yeah, well, it felt pretty good anyways,” said Mal coldly. “Just leave us alone, royal. It’ll be better for all of us.”

            (Y/N)’s heart ached, and they looked at the others. Jay crossed his arms. Carlos looked down. Their gaze landed on Evie. “Evie?”

            “Just go,” said Evie softly.

            “…Alright.” (Y/N) stepped back and turned away. “I’m sorry.”

Taglist:

@neenieweenie

@hampterfae

@american-idiot-jpg

@lunalixya

@roo024

@unholycheesesnack

@paastaboi

@lbee13

@rory-cakes

@theeghosted

[serickswrites]

Lonely Place of Longing XVI

Master list link here (includes chapter links, character bios, and general summary)

A/N: So this was the first scene I imagined. And it was very one-sided initially, but as I wrote a little, I got more and more of Dylan's voice. And that's when I realized this was an alternating POV story because he certainly has had a lot to say up to this point! I very, very much hurt my feelings with this scene. Especially when I had to write all the scenes leading up to this one because....yeah. There was a scene in between this chapter and the previous chapter that I cut because of....reasons. There is nothing wrong with the missing scene, I felt it just made this scene a little less climactic. If you are wanting to read it, please let me know and I can add it back in, lol. There is one more chapter after this, so please don't hate me. And on a brighter note, I have definitely plotted and started writing a 25 (yes, 25) chapter prequel story! So, that will be coming eventually!

Warnings: unconsciousness, referenced head injury, blood, wounds, mcd (I think this might be it for tags)

Halle became dimly aware of sounds around her. Of hands on her back. Someone was holding her. Her head hurt. Her body hurt. Everything hurt. But the hands on her back were soft, gentle. Hands that she loved to be held by.

“Dylan,” she said softly as she blinked against the blinding light.

“There you are, you’re ok. I’ve got you.” Dylan looked visibly relieved. “I’m so glad you’re ok, Halle.”

Halle’s heart twinged when Dylan used her name. Dylan was still trying to keep his distance. Why? “Where’s Owen?”

Dylan’s eyes grew distant for a moment. “He can’t hurt you, Halle. I took care of him. He can’t hurt you.”

“Good.” Halle did a scan of her body. Everything felt in tact. “Thank you,” she added, staring up into Dylan’s eyes. She wanted to say that she still loved Dylan. Wanted to say she was sorry for all of the things she said. But she couldn’t find the words. How would she even begin to make it up to Dylan?

“Can you stand?”

“I’m ok. I can stand.” She sat up quickly, gasping as she saw she was covered in blood. Who’s blood?

“G-G-Good….I….I don’t think I can carry yy-y-youuuuu. I’m….I’m sssso-o-o-o t-t-t-tireddddd, s-s-s-sweetttthheart-t-t-t.” Dylan collapsed forward, his body falling across Halle.

“HELP! HELP!” Where was Thomas? Where was the rest of the team? “Where are you hurt? Dylan, where are you hurt? Love, tell me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me." Halle turned Dylan so he lay across her lap. Dylan was so heavy, so limp, already a dead weight in Halle’s arms. Dylan moaned as Halle heaved his body.

“”S kay. ’s kay…..” Dylan said breathlessly.

His chest was covered in blood, his black shirt torn around two great wounds: one on his left side and the other from just under his sternum to his navel. This couldn’t be happening. Halle tried to stem the bleeding as Dylan lay in her lap. Dylan was so tall and so heavy. She was too weak to move Dylan. She needed her pack. Where was her pack? She needed help. Where was the rest of the fucking team?

“No, no, no. Come on. You have to be ok, Dylan. I need you. I love you.”

***

“Just keep breathing, Dylan,” Halle’s frantic voice came.

“I….am…..sw’hearttttttt,” Dylan wheezed. Perhaps this is how things were always meant to be. It’s not so bad to be here in your arms. I love you. I love you. I love you.

“Tell me where it hurts. I can heal this. Just hold on.” Halle’s voice sounded panicked.

I don’t feel any pain. "’mmmmmmmm ffffffinnnnne.” Maybe this is bad. I don’t feel….much.

“I am so sorry. So sorry. Please. I didn’t mean any of it. Please stay. I love you. Please, Dylan. Please.” Halle’s eyes were filled with tears. Blood smudged her cheek. Her hands were coated with blood as she tried to brush her dark hair out of her face.

Are you ok? There’s so much blood on you. Dylan’s mouth wasn’t cooperating. Everything was fading, his vision slowly growing dark. You have to be ok. I need you to be ok, sweetheart. I am alive because you are alive. You have to be alive.

“No, no, nononono,” Halle tapped his cheek. Dylan dimly registered the feeling. “Stay with me. I love you. HELP!”

Am I ok? Are you worried about me? I….I feel strange.

“Dylan, please. Please don’t do this to me. Come on, I love you. Stay.” Halle’s voice was pleading. Her hand was boiling hot against his cheek. He wanted to reassure her, wanted to hold her hand, but it was all beyond him.

I’m so cold. I’m so tired.

“Don’t do this to me. Stay, Dylan. WHERE IS THE MED PACK?” Halle’s voice was heavy with tears.

My body is so heavy. I can’t…I can’t hold you. I…I feel so weak.

“Please, somebody help me! Help me! He’s dying. GIVE ME THE ACCELERATOR!” Halle sounded hysterical. Between her screaming and sobbing, Dylan knew Halle was hurt.

I think I’m not ok, sweetheart. I think….I think this is…not looking good. I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.

“Don’t you dare leave me, Dylan. You can’t leave me.”

I don’t think I have a choice. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I don’t want to leave. I want you. You were the best part of my life. I was alive with you. Because of you. The world around Dylan faded to just dim sounds, his vision failing completely.

“Don’t cry for him,” Thomas’s voice drifted into Dylan’s awareness. He didn’t have the energy to react. “I won’t authorize the use of an accelerator on this. If you can’t heal him with what you have in your med pack, so be it.”

My body hurts. I can’t breathe. I’m sorry. “If you aren’t going to help me, fuck off! Dylan, please. No! NO. PLEASE!”

I think I can’t stay. I think…..I think I’m going…….this is it.

“I need you to be ok. You’re supposed to be ok. You need to be here with me. Forever. Please, Dylan. I love you. Stay. Please stay.” Halle’s lips were against his ear, her tears dripping onto his face. He couldn’t see her, he could barely feel her. He could barely feel anything. Everything was slowing. Everything was stopping.

Am I still here?

“No. NO. NO. Dylan! PLEASE! GOD NO!”

I love you. I love you. I love you.

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[elegantauthor]

Saving Grace Chapter 21

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Aurora Stark

Summary: The hour grows late, and Bucky tries not to spiral.

Warnings: mentions of memory loss

Series Masterlist

Bucky’s memories were like shards of a mirror; he would try to put them in their proper place, only for them to jut out in all the wrong directions. There was always another memory, or no memory at all—an empty fragment in the void of his brain. How could he ever be whole again without all the pieces?

He grappled with memory loss every day, ever since Wakanda. Shuri and Ayo removed the code words, but they couldn’t give him back the seventy plus years under HYDRA control. No one could. Aurora’s attempts to revive the man he once was were well-meaning, but she was a bit too idealistic at times.

He couldn’t blame her; she was a young woman, prone to flights of fancy, as all were at that age. Hell, when he was her age, he dreamt of being a scientist. World War II started, and he enlisted in the Army. The life he’d dreamt of shredded, along with his memory, every time he was put in the chair and his mind wiped. Every murder was a blemish on his soul. He was a broken man, tattered and tainted.

How could anyone love him? He was not the youthful man he’d been in the Forties. He was not the soldier off to fight someone else’s war in another country. He also wasn’t what HYDRA made him. At the same time, he was an amalgamation of it all.

He oft wondered if he could remember, would he want to? Would the happier times trigger more grief? These were the questions that kept him up at night. The ruminations of a wanderer in a cavernous expanse of darkness staring back at him when he closed his eyes.

Now, as the hours ticked by and every second counted, that expanse increased tenfold. Nagged at his conscience until he willingly opened the floodgate. It wasn’t a pleasant memory, but it reminded him why he was doing this in the first place. Because, as demons do, the temptation to leave Aurora with Baron Helmut Zemo had crossed the barren wasteland of his mind at least once during the near forty hours he’d spent searching for her.

Zemo, with all his finery, would make for a suitable partner. He could give her everything her heart desired; a private jet, lavish homes across Europe. She was a Stark. A demigoddess. What in God’s good name was she doing with a man like him?

~ * ~

Six years ago

“Goddammit, Aurora!”

The woman before him jolted, and immediately, he saw the tension in her shoulders. He didn’t have it in him to feel remorse. He stared at her with a hardened expression, working his jaw as he premediated a response to yet another of her sassy remarks.

When no such retort came, Bucky dragged his hand down his face and sighed. “I’m not— I’m not the man you want me to be. I’m sorry I can’t be him.”

Instead of extinguishing her fire, which he partly expected, Aurora smiled softly up at him. “Bucky, I don’t want you to be anyone but yourself. I know I can come off as willful and naïve…”

“You don’t say?” A small smirk tugged the corners of his mouth.

“Yes, I’m an idealist, but you have to understand… My dad is a genius, the innovator of our time. Kind of impossible not to absorb some of that idealism. But,” she stated with emphasis, “I’m not trying to push my beliefs on you. Do I think it’s cool that you’re from the Forties? Yes, I do. The best of both worlds. Innovation with good, old-fashioned values.”

“You certainly have a knack for blending opposing philosophies. Get that from your ma?”

Aurora laughed. “Maybe… I mean, she’s been around for eons.”

Suddenly, realization dawned on him, and his eyes softened. “I think I understand. You see a little of you in me, don’t you?”

Humming, she walked around the hut. Bucky knew her well enough to know when she did that, she was thinking. Tony did that, too, Steve informed him. “You’re a man plucked out of time, I’m a woman who will see just as many decades or more pass before my own time ends. I think too much about the concepts of infinity, eternity, forever, but I can’t quantify them, and that scares me.”

“Ah, so I’m a science experiment,” he said, grinning.

Matching his grin, Aurora shook her head. “You’re impossible. I’m impossible. Steve is impossible. Yet, here we are. Beings of myth and legend.”

“Legacy…”

“Yes,” she snapped her fingers and pointed, “legacy. The demigoddess and the Winter Soldier.”

“Sounds like a bad porno.”

“Bucky!” she giggled.

He crossed the room in two strides, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close. “I don’t wanna lose you… I don’t wanna keep pushing you away… Can you accept that I may never recover from some things? Can you accept me for who I am?”

“Of course,” Aurora murmured in earnest. “I’m sorry for overstepping. I never meant to hurt you.”

He shuddered a breath, nodding. “I wanna see what you see in me…”

He closed his eyes, as she cupped her palm around his face. “I know I get carried away with potentiality, the future, but… I see you, Bucky. I love you. Just the way you are.”

He opened his eyes, staring down deeply into hers and getting lost in the golden pools of light. “You’re a lot like him, you know.”

“Who?”

“Your grandfather. He was a man ahead of his time. The night before my unit shipped out, I was at Stark Expo.”

“I suppose some things truly are meant to be.”

Bucky nodded, the lyrics of Elvis’ song cementing the moment.

[itneverendshere]

LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - SEVEN

pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of pregnancy, abortion, alcohol, drug consumption.

MASTERLIST

You never spent much time on The Cut, unless you were being dragged by duty, mostly charity events for the local populations, fundraisers for their schools usually.

You always showed up in something tasteful but subtly expensive—pearls, understated Louboutin heels, and a blazer that whispered wealth without screaming it. 

Your mother taught you that.

Now, you sat in Poguelandia, doing god knows what.

The name alone sounded like some bad beach-themed party game. But you kept the snark to yourself—mostly. Sarah swore to you this was her new "thing," her big redemption arc, and who were you to judge? It wasn’t where you pictured spending any afternoon, yet there you were.

Pregnant. On The Cut. Drinking—well, holding—a very flat ginger ale out of a plastic cup.

You smoothed your dress for the hundredth time, light linen in a neutral tone that looked effortless but cost more than most people’s rent, while pretending not to notice Pope and Cleo staring like you were a rare bird that had wandered into the wrong habitat. 

Were they always this... intense? Did people on this side of the island not know how to look away when someone made eye contact? Your mother’s voice echoed in your head. They’re not staring at you, dear; they’re staring at themselves in relation to you. 

Whatever that meant. 

To their credit, they weren’t mean about it. Just... curious, as if you’d wandered in from a wildlife documentary called Kooks in the Wild.

You moved your weight around in your seat, hyper-aware of every grain of sand sticking to your hérmes sandals. Every time you shifted, you felt the grains grinding between the straps and your skin.

Should’ve worn the espadrilles, you thought ruefully, but even then, this wasn’t the world’s most glamorous venue. Sarah had begged you to stop by, though, and you owed her. It was also good for you to leave the house instead of being cupped up inside all alone.

“Okay, seriously, what’s with the staring? Do I have something on my face? Is my makeup smudged? Be honest.”

Cleo snorted. “No, you’re fine, princess. We’re just surprised to see you.”

You were still holding your sad little plastic cup. “Just thought I’d participate in—whatever this is.” You gestured vaguely at the mismatched chairs and string lights that looked like they’d been stolen from someone’s backyard wedding. “Community service?”

It was supposed to come off as witty. You weren’t sure it did.

Pope choked on his drink—sweet tea? soda?—and Cleo chuckled outright. “You’re funny,” she said, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if she meant it.

“Thanks?” It came out like a question, and you wanted to die just a little bit inside.

Pope grinned, leaning forward with a chip in his hand. “You don’t seem like the kind of person who hangs out in The Cut, that’s all.”

You blinked, feigning shock. “You don’t think I spend my weekends in—what is this, a glorified surf shack? I’m crushed.”

Cleo laughed again, which—fine—made you feel a little better.

“Nah, it’s just... you’re different up close. Not like, scary kook different. Just human. Y’know?”

“Great. That’s exactly what I was going for today.”

Pope gestured to the bar. “You want a snack? Chips? Cookies? We have...three options.”

You straightened, eyes narrowing like a hawk zeroing in on prey.

Food. Your stomach growled loudly, as if it had been cued by a stage director. “What kind of cookies?”

He blinked, not expecting you to care. “Uh... chocolate chip? Maybe oatmeal raisin?”

“And the chips?” You pressed, leaning forward now.

“Salt and vinegar,” Cleo piped up, eyeing you curiously. “Barbecue too, I think. Why?”

“Okay, shit, great.” You clapped your hands together decisively. “I’ll have all of it. All the chips, both kinds of cookies. Do you have anything else? Pretzels? Popcorn? Random condiments? I’m not picky.”

Cleo stared at you, her mouth slightly open. “Everything?”

“Yes, everything. Is that a problem?”

She blinked, her eyes darting to Pope like he had an explanation. He shrugged helplessly.

“Woman” she muttered under her breath. “Did you not eat for a week, or...?”

The salt and vinegar chips were divine, borderline transcendent, as you shoved another handful into your mouth. The truth was, you weren’t just hungry—you were still terrified. Every bite, every easy conversation with other people that weren’t Sarah, was a game of jenga to you. One wrong move, one offhand comment, and your secret could be out in the open.

Six more days until this would all be... over. Until the secret growing inside you—the one you’d barely admitted to yourself most mornings—would be gone.

The past three days had been the best you’d felt in ages, cravings and all, thanks to Sarah. She’d slept over, stayed up late talking with you, making you laugh, distracting you from the endless pit what-ifs and why-mes.

It was the longest you’d gone without crying in three months. The longest you’d lived without feeling like you could suffocate at any given moment. With her help, it had been easier to forget—to pretend that things were still okay.

But Sarah wasn’t there, she’d left earlier with John B, something about helping him with a tour.

“You good, princess?” Cleo’s voice cut through your thoughts.

You blinked at her, realizing you’d been crushing the chip bag in your hands like a stress ball. “What? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You look like you’re about to fight that bag of chips,” Pope said, grinning.

You forced a laugh, leaning back and tossing the bag onto the table. “No fighting. Just... intense snacking."

You reached for the chocolate chip cookies he had offered earlier, focusing on the sweetness, the comfort of food that tasted good for once. Sweet, crumbly, safe. If only the rest of you life felt like that.

Pope and Cleo knew something was up, they all did, probably.

Sarah had been glued to your side, and it wasn’t exactly subtle.

Her sudden move to “stay over” at your place had obviously raised eyebrows, especially since you two hadn’t had a proper conversation in months before all this. And there was the beach clean-up, Kie and JJ had been there when you felt ill, and while you’d been too disoriented to keep up with the cover story once Rafe drove you away, Sarah had stepped in later to handle it.

Heat exhaustion. Overworked. Totally fine.

Still, to your relief, neither Pope nor Cleo seemed inclined to pry, perhaps it was pity, or maybe they were just decent enough to let you keep the little shred of privacy you had left. Either way, you were grateful.

“So,” Pope said, leaning back on his elbows and flashing you an easy grin, “How are you finding our place? I mean, other than our fine selection of snacks.”

You swallowed a bite of cookie, forcing a smile. “It’s...charming. Rustic. A real je ne sais quoi vibe.” You waved your hand vaguely, trying to mimic the way your mother used to describe terrible restaurants we’d never go back to.

Cleo snorted. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it.”

“It’s cute,” You offered, looking around, “I can tell you guys put your heart into it.”

Pope smirked, lifting a brow. "That's nice of you to say."

You gave a small shrug, feigning nonchalance, but you meant it.

For all the mismatched chairs and questionable decoration, there was something undeniably warm about the place. You weren't used to that—spaces filled with love instead of decorators and florists, it wasn’t bad. Just different.

“I mean it,” you said, brushing crumbs from your lap. “It’s very authentic. ‘Pogue Chic’ or something.”

Cleo laughed, loud and genuine, her grin lighting up her face. “Pogue Chic?"

Pope chimed in, “Hey, don’t knock it. We’re trendsetters. Ahead of its time.”

You smiled, but your mind was already falling back to the sand clinging to your dress and the ginger ale that tasted like disappointment. You’d never say it out loud, but you admired them, that ability to make joy out of scraps. It was something you didn’t quite know how to do. Not yet, anyway.

Cleo leaned forward, her elbows resting on the makeshift table. “So, are we going to see you around more? Or is this just a one-time royal visit?”

You hesitated, twirling the rim of your cup between your fingers. “I don’t know. Maybe. If Sarah keeps dragging me here, I guess I don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice.”

You didn't know if it was the way he said it, the tone he used, or just your hormones fucking you up, but suddenly there were tears in your eye sockets. You blinked rapidly, tilting your head back slightly and praying that the tears stayed put.

These kids, all of them, sitting here like they hadn’t spent their lives scraping by, like they hadn’t been hurt or abandoned or let down a hundred times over by people they loved and trusted. Yet somehow, they were still full of hope, full of life.

You envied that.

You wished you could bottle it, whatever it was that kept them laughing and fighting and welcoming someone like you—a result of privilege and mistakes and heartbreak—into their home. It was humbling in a way that made your chest hurt.

“Does that mean I can choose to order better snacks next time? Maybe some sparkling water? Flat ginger ale is a crime against humanity.”

Cleo snorted, still not fooled by your deflection, but she let it slide.

“Good luck with that, princess. Our snack budget’s about three bucks and whatever we can steal from Kie’s pantry.”

Pope chuckled, tossing a chip in his mouth. “And you’re welcome to contribute if you’re so concerned about the menu.”

It surprised you, how easy it was to talk to them.

On paper, you had nothing in common. They were younger, grew up in a completely different world, and you were used to the polished conversations of country club luncheons and charity galas. 

Here, things were different.

They didn’t seem to care if you stumbled over your words, if your jokes were awkward or if you occasionally sounded like a walking trust fund catalog. They didn’t care about your last name, your family’s money, or any other things that had weighed you down for years.

That was disarming.

You’d spent your entire life around people who mirrored your upbringing—kids who summered in the Hamptons or Barbados, adults who measured their worth in stock portfolios and vacation homes. Now, you were here, in this cobbled-together haven with salt-stained cushions, sitting with people who’d grown up struggling for things you took for granted.

You thought it would feel more awkward or forced, but it didn’t.

It was easy.

Pope sat on the counter, gesturing with a half-eaten chip. “Serious question. How do you even survive on Figure Eight? Do they hand you iced lattes and designer handbags when you’re born, or do you have to work your way up to that?”

You raised a brow, smirking. “Oh, absolutely. The moment you’re born, they issue you a monogrammed diaper bag and a gold-plated pacifier. It’s very exclusive.”

Cleo nearly choked on her drink. “See, this is why we can’t take you seriously.”

Your phone buzzed on the table, lighting up with your cousins name, interrupting the fun. You sighed, rolling your eyes before picking it up. “Yes, Top?”

Topper’s slightly whiny tone spilled into your ear. “Can you believe Mom’s threatening to rent out the beach house for the summer? Actual strangers, staying there. What’s next? Turning it into a hostel?”

“Tragic,” you deadpanned, resting your chin in your hand. “Truly, a devastating blow for humanity.”

Pope fake-coughed, mumbling “white rich privilege problems,” while Cleo mouthed, “Hostel!” and shook her head, laughing silently.

“I know. Anyway, I’m coming over later.”

“Where’s your invitation?”

You heard him scoffing, “I’m family, I don’t need one.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, feeling the beginnings of a headache. “Top, you can’t just announce you’re coming over. I might have plans.”

“Yeah, and I’m your family, so those plans now include me,” Topper said, sounding entirely too pleased with himself. “Besides, I’ll bring food.”

Across from you, Pope was already gagging dramatically, holding his stomach as if the mere sound of Topper’s voice made him physically ill. 

“I don’t know if—”

“See you at noon,” he interrupted. “Later!”

The call ended before you could even argue, and you set your phone down with a resigned sigh. 

“Looks like I’m hosting a one-man Topper pity party,” you said, crossing your arms and slumping back in your chair.

Pope clutched his chest. “Will you survive?”

You only left once the sun dipped lower into the horizon, you gathered your things promising Sarah you’d drive safely and talk to her tomorrow.

Cleo, Pope and John B were mid-argument about the best way to fix something in the shack. You felt lighter than you had in weeks.

With a few more quips exchanged and goodbyes said, you walked back to your car. That night, the ache in your chest wasn’t completly unbearable. You weren’t okay, but you weren’t drowning, either.

You’d been terrified of this afternoon all day, worried you’d stick out like a sore thumb or say the wrong thing.

But the Pogues hadn’t cared about your awkwardness, your polished self, or even the giant invisible cloud you carried everywhere these days. They let you just be.

The drive home was quiet, but this time you even hummed along to a song on the radio, which was strange because you couldn’t remember the last time you cared about music or even turning on that thing. When you pulled into the driveway and stepped into your house, it didn’t feel as cold and empty as it did last week.

You set your bag down on the entryway table and kick off your sandals, the floors cool beneath your feet. Heading to the kitchen, you decided to see if there was anything decent for tonight’s impromptu early dinner with Topper. The fridge greeted you with a sad bag of lettuce, half a bottle of sparkling water, and a single container of leftover pasta you weren’t sure was still edible.

“Great,” you muttered, closing the door and moving to the pantry.

The situation there wasn’t much better. Sarah’s latest health-kick contributions—a bag of chia seeds and some organic trail mix—laughed at you from the top shelf. You frowned, pushing them aside to reveal a dusty box of crackers and a jar of Nutella.

“Guess we’re going shopping tomorrow,” you murmured, grabbing the crackers and Nutella to snack on now.

You placed them on the counter and glanced around. The sink held a few dishes from earlier —a couple of coffee mugs, a bowl, a plate.

You sighed, rolling up your sleeves, might as well get this out of the way.

Normally, you’d have had someone else to take care of this—stocking the pantry, cleaning the dishes, even deciding on the menu for your lunches. But lately, you’d been scaling back. You hadn’t let anyone go, of course. You could never do that; the staff had been with your family for years, and many of them felt more like extended family than employees. Still, you’d quietly rearranged their schedules, giving them more time off.

They didn’t question it—probably thought it was some new phase, another eccentricity of a bored, privileged young woman.

Truth was, you liked doing these things.

Focusing on something small, tangible, gave your brain a break from drilling itself into a million dark corners. Folding laundry, washing dishes, even the routine of chopping vegetables—it kept your hands busy and your thoughts manageable enough. It wasn’t that you’d suddenly become a domestic goddess or anything. Most of the time, you’d forget to pick up groceries or burn whatever you tried to cook.

It wasn’t about being good at it. It was about doing something.

You looked around the kitchen, noting the little imperfections you wouldn’t have noticed before. A small water stain on the counter from where your glass had sat too long, the scuff marks on the cabinets where your chair scraped when you leaned back. They weren’t problems to be fixed—they were just signs of life.

And right now at that very moment, life felt…okay.

The house didn’t seem as cold or empty when you were doing things for yourself, even if it was mundane work. You finish up wiping down the counters, glance at the time—definitely cutting it close—and head toward the dining room to tidy up a bit.

Topper was not the type to notice if the place is spotless, but you always liked things to look... presentable, yourself included.

You heard the doorbell ring in the distance, he was early as usual, probably checking his watch just to make sure he wasn't a second late.

"Of course he’s early," you muttered to yourself, a little smirk pulling at your lips.

You walked towards the front door, ready to greet him, but when you opened it, your eyes immediately locked onto the large takeout bag in his hand. It smelled... amazing.

Topper grinned at you, an exaggerated flourish as he held up the bag.

“Guess what I brought?”

“You brought... Korean chicken wings? Really?”

“Hell yeah, I did!” He stepped inside, completely ignoring any formalities and heading straight toward the kitchen, “They just opened.”

He placed the bag on the counter with the confidence of a man who knew he’s just won “Best Dinner Host” without even trying. You peeked inside, the crispy wings drenched in a glossy, sweet-spicy sauce that looked downright delicious.

Topper laughed and took a seat, pulling out the wings, not even bothering with plates. “You’re welcome.”

You rolled your eyes but sat next to him, picking up a wing, the heat of it still making your fingers tingle. The crispy exterior cracked open with a satisfying crunch as you bit into it. It was everything you'd hoped for—tangy, spicy, perfectly cooked. You nearly moaned in pleasure, not even caring that your cousin was watching you with that cocky grin on his face.

“You look like you’ve seen the light,” He teased, leaning back in his chair as he grabbed a wing of his own.

“I mean,” you said, savoring another bite, “this might make up for you barging in uninvited.”

“Barging?” He clutched his chest dramatically, mock offense radiating from every inch of him. “I'm saving you from a night of sad dinners, and this is the thanks I get?”

You gave him a pointed look, but the corner of your mouth tugged upward despite yourself.

“Fine. Thank you, Topper. You’re the hero of the day. Happy now?”

“Ecstatic,” he said, grinning as he reached for another wing. “What’s new? Still slumming it with my ex and the Pogues?”

“First of all,” you said, wiping your fingers on a napkin, “slumming it implies I’m suffering, which I’m not. And second, Sarah’s not a pogue. She’s pogue-adjacent.”

“Pogue-adjacent?” He snorted. “You’ve been spending too much time over there.”

“Like you’re one to talk,” you shot back. “You basically live at Kildare Brewing these days. That’s like, one pogue away from full assimilation.”

He opened his mouth to argue but then stopped, realizing you had a point. “Okay, fair. But only because they have good beer."

You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you should even bring it up, but curiosity got the better of you. You hadn’t heard about her in a while, and you knew by experience, that was never a good thing.

“So... Ruthie,” you started, watching him over the rim of your glass as you took a sip.

Topper paused mid-chew, looking up at you like he wasn’t sure he wanted to have this conversation. “What about her?”

“I mean, you two are still together, aren’t you?”

He wiped his hands on a napkin. “We’re… not talking right now.”

You tried not to look pleased, but a rush of vindication bloomed in your chest. You'd grown to hate her, plain and simple. Her recent proximity to your cousin had always baffled you. He wasn’t perfect, but surely, he could do better. 

“I’m surprised.”

“Yeah, well,” he muttered, reaching for another wing. But then he stopped, like whatever he was thinking was messing with his head.

“What happened?” You asked, trying to sound more curious, concerned, than nosy.

You weren’t sure if he’d tell you, but the look on his face made it clear something big had gone down.

He hesitated, debating whether to answer. Finally, he sighed. “She... started a rumor about you.”

Your head jerked back in surprise. “About me?”

“Yeah,” he grimaced like he’d swallowed something sour. “She said you passed out at the beach cleanup and decided to spread some bullshit about you doing drugs.”

You just stared at him. “She what?”

You weren’t sure why you were so surprised.

You knew what she was capable better than anyone, especially when she was bored out of her mind.

“I didn’t believe it,” he added quickly, his tone defensive, as if that made it better. “I told her to shut the fuck up about it, but you know how she is. She thought it was funny.”

“Funny?” Your voice was sharp now, “She thought it was funny to spread lies about me? About drugs? What the fuck?”

“Yeah, it’s so messed up. That’s why I’m not talking to her. I told her if she couldn’t act like a fucking decent human being, we were done.”

You blinked, stunned.

You weren’t sure what shocked you more—the fact that Ruthie had stooped so low or that Topper had finally stood up to her. You shook your head, biting back another nasty comment about how awful she was. You’d been saying it for months, and he hadn’t listened.

No point in beating a dead horse now.

“It’s about time you saw what she’s really like. She’s really bad fuckin’ news, Top. Always has been.”

He gave a low grunt, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the counter. “Yeah. Took me long enough, huh?”

You didn’t answer, just raised an eyebrow and sipped your water.

“She’s always been weird about Sarah,” Topper muttered, almost to himself. “Even when we were together, she’d find these ways to dig at her. Like that one time at Midsummers—”

“—When she ‘accidentally’ spilled her drink on Sarah’s dress,” you finished, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, I remember. She’s always had this thing about trying to one-up her. Honestly, it’s so pathetic. But you never listen to me, so.”

“Okay, ouch.” He threw a crumpled napkin at you, which you easily dodged. “I listen to you sometimes.”

“Do you, though?” You gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah, I do!” Topper protested, though the whine in his voice made him sound more like the teenager he used to be, back when he’d follow you around during family holidays like a puppy. “Just… selectively.”

“Selective listening isn’t listening, dumbass. You’re just proving my point.”

He narrowed his eyes at you but didn’t answer, reaching for another wing instead. He took a bite, chewing dramatically, as if the exaggerated crunch would somehow end the conversation.

“Look, I’ve been saying for months that Ruthie’s bad news. Since she showed up at last year’s Christmas party wearing a dress identical to Sarah’s, just in a different color. You thought that was a coincidence?”

Topper groaned, dropping the wing. “Okay, fine, you’re right. Are you happy now? Can you stop rubbing it in?”

You grinned, propping your chin on your hand.

“Oh, I could. But what kind of older cousin would I be if I didn’t remind you how often you’re wrong?”

“You’re not that much older than me.”

You shrugged. “Old enough to know better than to date someone that awful.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a genius. I get it.” He looked over at you again, his gaze softer, this time, “But seriously, you’ve been off lately. If there’s something going on, you can tell me, y’know? We’re family, even if I don’t listen to you half the time,” he added with a small smile, though his eyes were searching, hoping you’d let him in.

It would be so easy to tell him the truth—that you were pregnant, scheduled for an abortion in six days, and drowning in uncertainty and dread.

But he was still Rafe’s best friend, and the risk of this ever reaching him was too high. Instead, you forced a lightness into your voice.

“Nothing I can’t handle. And right now, I desperately need the bathroom.”

He looked at you skeptically, not fooled for a second.

“You’re really okay?” he pressed, his voice dropping to a level that told you he wasn’t going to let this go easily, "I texted and called before, you didn't answer. Thought you were resting from the scare."

You’d been having such a calm, easy time with Sarah, you almost forgot about everything else. The thought of picking up the phone, letting all that anxiety and worry back in, just wasn’t appealing—so you’d ignored his calls, but not on purpose. You were doing him a favor.

You plastered on a smile and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder as you passed. “I promise, I’m fine. Just felt a little light-headed and needed some peace."

His eyes narrowed slightly, unconvinced. “That’s all?”

You forced a giggle, hoping it would sound more genuine than it felt. “Yes, Dr. Thornton. Just needed to eat more or drink water or whatever the fuck it is you’re always telling me to do.”

“Uh-huh,” he said, crossing his arms, watching you closely. “Because you’ve never just fainted before.”

“I guess there’s a first time for everything. Besides, don’t you think I’d tell you if something serious was wrong?”

It took everything to maintain eye contact, your stomach twisting at the lie. He was family, and you wanted to trust him, to let him help you. But you couldn’t. He hadn’t even told you about Rafe and Sofia until you found out by yourself. 

Topper tilted his head, considering you, then sighed and gave a reluctant nod. “Alright, fine.”

“Okay, if you’re done being weird,” You pushed back from the counter, grabbing your glass. “I gotta pee,” you announced casually, as if this was the most normal interjection in the world. The wings were good, but running away was tempting. And also, the pregnancy had made your bladder a ticking time bomb, and you really didn’t want to risk any accidents. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

You offered him one last smile, hoping it was convincing enough. He whined some sarcastic comment about your water consumption as you hurried away, but you barely heard him.

All you thought about was the blessed relief that awaited on the other side of that door.

You didn’t usually spend this much time with Top nowadays—your own tendency to avoid “close” family drama—but tonight had been oddly… nice.

Even if you wanted to wrap your hands around his neck half the time. Even if you hated lying to him. If he’d just pushed a little harder, maybe you would’ve folded, let it all spill right there in the kitchen.

Every time you thought you’d come to a decision, another doubt would take over you, leaving you back at square one. You knew what you wanted, so why was this so hard? 

Topper had looked at you with such genuine concern back there. The “if you need me, I’m here” sentiment was the same one you’d grown up with, the kind of care only a cousin, practically a sibling, could have.

This was hard.

When you came back into the kitchen after taking your sweet time in the bathroom you immediately noticed something was off.

Topper was by the counter, staring at the half-eaten pile of wings by the table like they’d personally offended him. He looked paler, too—almost like he’d seen a ghost.

“Uh…” You stopped mid-step, furrowing your brow. “What’s with the stupid face? Did the wings betray you or something?”

He jolted slightly, as if he hadn’t even heard you come in. “What? No. No, the wings are fine. Great. Amazing, even.”

“Okay…” You gave him a skeptical look, setting your glass down and crossing your arms. 

Topper laughed, but it was this oddly nervous, stilted sound. He glanced at his phone, tapping the screen for no real reason, then shoved it into his pocket.

“You know what, though? I totally forgot—I have something planned. Like, super important. In about… ten minutes.”

You stared at him, unimpressed. “You forgot you had plans? Sounds fake, but okay.”

“So unlike me!” He got up from his chair with such sudden energy that it made you take a step back. “Anyway, I should really get going. Don’t want to be late. Uh, thanks for… hanging out. And for, uh, letting me use your wings as a form of therapy. Yeah. Later!”

And with that, he was sprinting for the door.

“Topper!” you called after him, confused and mildly annoyed. “What the hell is going on? You’re acting fuckin’ weird!”

“Nope, not weird! Just busy!” he shot back over his shoulder, not even looking at you as he opened the door.

You didn’t have time to yell at him before he disappeared out the door, the sound of his Jeep starting up echoing from the driveway a moment later. You stood there bewildered, staring at the now-empty doorway.

Something was definitely up. He was many things—dramatic, stubborn, occasionally insufferable—but shifty wasn’t usually one of them.

You went back to the kitchen, glancing at the counter, ready to brush off his weird exit as just another of his dramatics, when your eyes landed on a random envelope— the one you’d been using to scribble down everything lately. 

Extra small grocery lists, reminders, and, unfortunately, the number for the abortion clinic.

Rafe’s fingers curled loosely around the tumbler of bourbon, eyes set on nothing in particular. The lunch rush was winding down, country club regulars filing out.

He’d been there for over an hour—first, the meeting, listening to those finance guys ramble on about numbers, projections, all that bullshit he usually liked to hear. 

He’d faked his interest well enough, but his mind had been miles away. Mostly thinking about you. And the company, of course, because that was his priority right now. Or, it should be.

The whole thing with you, three days ago, it was a slow-mind-burning headache he couldn’t ignore, even if he wanted to. And he had wanted to, tried to, in fact.

He took another slow sip, hardly tasting the bourbon. Across the room, Sofia was working between tables, balancing trays and forcing her best country club smile.

All he saw when he looked at her was you, it only made him force down another swallow, running his thumb over the rim of the glass, mind somewhere between the company projections and the mess he’d made of things with you. 

It was ridiculous that you were still in his head. He should be thinking about that deal, about locking down his place in the Cameron empire. 

Rafe pushed the glass aside, signaling for the check when something caught his ear—a conversation from a nearby table.

“Yeah, she actually passed out the other day. Pathetic.” The voice was loud, sneering.

A dude’s voice followed, fake sympathy dripping from his tone. “I heard she was a fuckin’ mess after the whole breakup.”

“Oh, totally.” A different girl laughed, high-pitched and cruel. “She’s probably on something. Can you blame her? I’d be desperate too if he dumped me.”

It didn’t take a fucking genius to know who they were talking about. Small town and all, of course, things got around, mostly turning into half-truths and petty rumors.

He stopped all his movements, jaw clenching. His fingers tightened around the edge of the table, the only thing keeping him from breaking something, preferably bones.

They were talking about you. 

About some made-up version of you, the fact that these spoiled, airheaded brats thought they could shit talk about you like that, rip you apart for fun just because you weren’t there to defend yourself made him sick.

He pushed his chair back and stood, crossing the room with long strides. He didn’t care about the eyes following him as he walked up to their table, the laughter stopping the moment they looked up and saw the look on his face.

“What did you just say?”

The girl who’d been laughing, a petite brunette with too much makeup and a self-satisfied smirk, blinked up at him, her smile faltering.

“Oh, Rafe! We didn’t see you there. We were just…joking around,” she stammered, trying to backpedal.

“Joking?” He laughed, the sound making them flinch. “That what you call it? Spreading some bullshit rumor because it’s all your pathetic little lives have to offer?”

The brunette’s face went red. “I mean, we all heard about it. I’m just saying what everyone’s already thinking—”

His fists clenched and his patience, already thin, snapped the second he heard the guy—one of those trust fund preps with an overdone tan and a too-tight polo—chime in.

“Oh, come on, dude,” the guy smirked, leaning back in his chair, feigning nonchalance. “It’s not like she’s worth all that trouble, is she?”

His entire body went rigid, and before he registered it, he was leaning down, letting them feel the weight of his glare.

“Say that shit again,” Rafe taunted him, something almost amused twisting at the edge of his mouth, daring him to keep talking. “I’d love to hear you repeat yourself.”

“Relax, man—”

He didn’t even let him finish, eyes narrowed, his voice dropping to a near whisper, more dangerous than shouting ever could be.

“You think it’s funny? Talking about someone who’s not even here to defend herself?”

The guy’s face paled, and Rafe swore he was seconds away from landing a punch, from wiping that smug grin off his face. Just as he prepared his fist, ready to make good on his threat, he felt a hand on his arm, a small, insistent tug. 

“Rafe,” a soft voice hissed. Sofia. He barely glanced at her, shrugging off her grip.

“Don’t,” he snapped, his voice sharp, dismissive.

He kept his eyes on the guy, who looked more uncomfortable by the second, squirming in his seat.

Sofia’s hand still hovering near his arm, cautious now. “Rafe, come on, this isn’t worth it. You’re better than this.”

She looked scared. Scared of him, scared of the situation. He wasn’t better than this.

He’d never been, and he’d been good enough at lying and pretending for her even to think that.

You would’ve known better.

Fuck, you wouldn’t have wasted time talking.

You would’ve yanked him back by his collar, shoved yourself between him and the guy, shot him that warning glare, daring him to keep pushing you so you’d have to drag him out by force. You always knew when he’d get like this, that edge in his voice, that look in his eye that told you he was seconds away from snapping. You knew better than anyone how to pull him back when he hit that switch.

But you’d never bothered with gentle.

Sofia’s eyes darted around the room, clearly embarrassed, maybe even afraid of drawing attention. He knew this wasn’t fair to her, that she hadn’t signed up for this part of him—the anger, the unpredictability. It wasn’t in his nature to stay silent, to ignore things and walk away. 

He could almost see it—feel it, like a familiar bruise under his skin. You’d shove him hard enough that he’d stumble back, half-pissed and half-shocked. You’d get in his face, not even close to scared, cutting through his spiral. “What the hell is wrong with you, Rafe? You wanna end up in jail over some loser? Grow up.”

If you’d been here, you wouldn’t have given him a choice. You’d have grabbed his arm and dragged him away, kept a grip on him until he’d snapped out of whatever dark place he’d dropped into. You’d push him until he finally let go, forced him to come down from that blinding fury and face the mess he’d just caused. It was the only way he’d ever been able to listen—when you pushed him to wake up, forced him to look at himself and see just how reckless, just how stupid he was about to be.

But Sofia? She had no idea. 

She thought saying “you’re better than this” was going to do anything, that with a light touch and some empty words, he’d suddenly be calm, reasonable, soft. 

But he’d never been that way, never with you, never with anyone.

She hadn’t done anything wrong; she’d just seen the version of him he’d wanted her to see. The version he’d put together, patched up and polished, all so he could convince himself he was something he wasn’t.

With her, it was easy to pretend. He could smooth his sharp edges, show her just enough of himself to keep her interested without letting her close enough to see the mess underneath.

He’d let her believe he was the kind of guy who could just calm down, let things slide. The kind of guy who’d listen. He’d wanted her to believe he was controlled, calm. Sofia’s softness had appealed to him, but now, it only highlighted the differences between them.

With you, he’d never had the luxury of pretending.

You’d seen through him from the start, never let him get away with putting on some act.

You hadn’t let him pretend to be better than he was, hadn’t let him off easy when he’d tried to brush things off or shut down. You knew every side of him, even the ones he’d rather ignore. You’d always known exactly who he was, who he wasn’t, and you’d never been afraid to remind him.

He didn’t want to let it go, didn’t want to give the guy an inch of leeway to think he’d won this. Rafe sighed and released his grip, his hand falling from the table as he finally stepped back. Sofia relaxed, giving him a relieved smile, but it only made him feel emptier. 

“You talk about her again and I’ll fucking kill you, you hear me?” 

The guy sputtered, looking down, embarrassed and shaken. He muttered something under his breath that sounded like an apology, but Rafe didn’t care enough to hear it.

Sofia’s hand was still on his tail when he left, and as soon as he walked out of earshot of the table, she followed him, crossing her arms. Her eyes narrowed with an expression he’d never seen from her —disbelief. 

“What was that?”

Everything.

Rafe didn’t speak. He was staring past her, back at the group, mind far from the confrontation and miles away with thoughts of you. She seemed to notice, her lips pressing together.

“I can’t believe you did that. You threatened to kill him, Rafe. Over what, a stupid rumor?”

A stupid rumor? She was making him feel like he was out of control, irrational—even though he couldn’t explain why this mattered so much.

“You wouldn’t get it. It’s not your problem.”

She flinched a little, her face falling, but to her credit, she didn’t look away. “You’re right. I don’t get it. Tell me.”

He wanted to believe that it could work with Sofia.

Nice girl, pretty too. She laughed at his jokes, and she didn’t call him out on his bullshit, because she didn’t even know that side of him existed. On paper, she was perfect. But she wasn't you.

He looked back at her, her worried eyes scanning his face.

It was frustrating—seeing the fear, feeling her judgment when she didn’t even know what she was judging.

To her, this was just some meaningless outburst, something he could turn on and off at will. This wasn’t her fault. He knew that. He hated how this wasn’t something he couldn't put into words, not in any way that would make sense to her.

“Forget it, alright?” his tone was harsher than he meant.

Sofia shook her head, clearly not willing to let it drop this time.

“Why would you get so worked up over something like this?"

To her, that’s all this was—just noise, harmless, inconsequential. 

She looked up at him expectantly, her brows furrowed in confusion, waiting for some reasonable answer.

And it pissed him off, how she kept waiting, expecting him to offer some calm, measured response when he didn’t even understand it himself.

Sofia’s eyes softened, but it only irritated him further.

“She’s nice,” Her words drifted out casually like she didn’t know she’d just cracked him open. “She defended me, last week, when I was serving brunch.”

He couldn’t stop the self-loathing.

You had always been that way—ready to defend anyone, even when you were the one hurting. Rafe winced, hating himself for it, hating that you could still be so good even after everything. He swallowed hard, keeping his expression blank.

“Did she?” he muttered, trying to sound indifferent.

“Yeah,” Sofia replied, watching his reaction with mild curiosity. “Guess I wouldn’t have expected that.”

Rafe’s jaw clenched, that familiar hurt in his chest.

His mind was already conjuring all the times you’d jumped in, backed people up, and called out anyone who crossed a line. Even when it came to people you barely knew.

It made him feel like the worst person in the world, knowing that you’d been there for Sofia of all people, that you’d shown her that same loyalty. It made him hate himself even more.

His phone buzzed, saving him from the inevitable conversation, his hand brushed the side of his face as he glanced down at the unknown number flashing across the screen. He didn’t hesitate, before swiping the answer button.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Cameron, this is Dr. Harris from the hospital,” the voice on the other end said. “We’ve been trying to reach Miss Thornton about the blood work results from her visit three days ago. Unfortunately, there’s been an issue with our system and a few patient’s data has been deleted, except for the emergency contact information.”

Rafe’s stomach dropped.

He was still your emergency contact, not by choice probably. The hospital was calling about your blood work.

Was something wrong?

His blood ran cold. “Is she okay? Did something happen?” The urgency in his tone made Sofia’s eyes widen again, her confusion growing.

“We’re concerned about a possible infection. We need to run more tests to rule it out, but the symptoms suggest it could be more complicated. We must check thoroughly to be sure.”

“An infection?”

“Yes, but it could be nothing serious. We just need her to come in as soon as possible for a follow-up,” Dr. Harris explained.

There was a pause as if he expected Rafe to say something reassuring or offer to pass on the message. 

Sofia’s brows knitted together as she watched him. “Rafe?” 

“I’ll tell her,” he said, the words cracked in his throat. The doctor thanked him and hung up.

He stared at the phone waiting for it to ring again with more news, a reassurance that this wasn’t as serious as it sounded. 

You probably hadn’t changed your emergency contact because it slipped your mind.

He couldn’t stand the idea that something could be wrong, and he was not the one you called when you needed someone. All he’d ever done was mess things up between you.

“What’s going on?”

How the fuck was he going to tell you when you'd blocked him everywhere?

He couldn’t call, couldn’t text, couldn’t even show up unannounced without risking the usual argument that would end with you screaming at him to get out, or worse, you looking at him with that unforgiving stare.

He knew you’d locked every door, bolted every window to keep him out, and he deserved it. 

“It’s nothing,” he said, the lie slipping out automatically. He could feel her studying him, waiting for another explanation he also didn’t have the patience to give.

Maybe Topper could help.

The irony wasn’t lost on him—he’d given your cousin the mission of checking in on you, playing the careful messenger while Rafe kept his distance. That was supposed to be him.

But the reality was you hated him now, hated him enough that Topper was a safer option and yet, the private information still landed on his lap. As if he still had the right to be in your orbit, let alone the person trusted with this kind of news.

It felt wrong.

He knew you were going to hate him even more for still having access to your private details. It wasn’t really his fault—the hospital called him. He should have hung up the moment the hospital mentioned your name, told them they had the wrong guy. But he didn’t. He listened. 

“If you need to go—” she started, trailing off when he didn’t answer. Her voice softened, tentative. “It’s about her, isn’t it?”

Rafe’s jaw ticked, and he looked away, out at the horizon where the sun was setting.  “Yeah,” he muttered, not bothering to lie this time.

His thumbs hovered over the keyboard. He typed something out, then deleted it, then typed again.

Finally, he just went with the simplest thing he could think of and hit send.

Can we meet up? Tannyhill in 30. I think I know what’s wrong.

He half-expected some lame excuse or joke from Topper. Instead, the text he got made the deep lines across his forehead make an appearance.

Shit, you do???

Did the fucker already know?

Did he suspect? Or was this just the kind of baited question someone asked when they thought they were the last to know something big?

He frowned, gripping the phone tighter.

If Topper did know, why hadn’t he said anything?

TAGLIST: @maybankslover @october-baby25 @haruvalentine4321 @hopelesslydevoted2paige

@rafebb @rafesbby @whytheylosttheirminds

@zyafics @astarlights @bruher @nosebeers @carrerascameron

@serrendiipty @sunny1616 @yootvi @ditzyzombiesblog

@psychocitylights @maibelitaaura @kiiyomei

@stoned-writer @justafangirls-blog-deactivated2

@starkeygirlposts @enjoymyloves @ijustwanttoreadlols @icaqttt

[luludeluluramblings]

tbh I’m more intrigued by the idea of college-age Reader getting pregnant while unmarried still living in the manor and NO ONE has any idea who the father is (maybe she does, but she’s withholding that for now or maybe he’s not in the picture?) and it’s the biggest freak out ever. that just seems so fucking wild and potentially hilarious to me. and nobody noticing she’s pregnant until she’s farther along? or them finding out randomly?? imagine:

damian: you look pregnant. what is wrong with you.

reader: i am pregnant though

the batfam: ????????!!!!!!!!!! and then she proposes that now that she’s old enough and starting a new chapter in her life raising a baby and all she should just move out! (cue everyone disliked that meme)

Neglected!Pregnant!Reader x Yandere!Bat Family

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Part Two

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Okay, I think I'm about to become a Pregnancy!Reader writer. Which, I'm not mad about. Kind think it would be fun, but I know the trope isn't for everyone. So, if it’s not your thing, I’m sorry.

A/N: Some of this is based off of things from my own pregnancies.

A/N: Oh, no. Frick, I wanna make this a series now. Check the bottom, cause I have a plot idea for this and I want opinions on it. I spiraled, this was supposed to be a quick blurb. I got carried away. Gonna build up to the yandere shenanigans because I’m turning into a writer with a million WIPs.

A/N: Tagging @skay-ali because I like their The Forgotten Daughter series.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Very minor Yandere Themes (like barely there), minor NSFW, graphic descriptions of pregnancy and medical procedures, Vomiting.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You don't really remember that night it happened. But, it only happened once and after you swore you'd never drink again. The hangover after that night had been one of the worst of your short life.

In fact, the sticky feeling between your legs and bitter taste on your tongue had also added to your decision to swear of these college parties. Luckily, you have enough of your memory to remember that you and your partner from that night had both been willing even when wasted. Even if you couldn't remember their name. Or, their face.

It takes you a while to notice. One missed cycle wasn't anything to freak out about, and it was exam season. The stress had probably caused the nausea. It wasn't until you were heading down to breakfast one morning and smelled the burnt eggs in the kitchen that Stephanie had burnt that you realized something might be wrong.

You, of course, ignore it. It was just a fluke. Burnt eggs weren't appetizing to anyone. But, then you nearly faint walking through the perfume section after looking to restock your favorite bottle of scent.

The doctor you finally went to another week later had asked about your cycle and the last time you had been intimate with someone. That's when the reality of things started to set in. You hadn't even thought to do an at home test to check. Your doctor was kind though, saying they could just do a quick urine sample and blood test just to make sure. It might be something else.

The next few minutes felt like ages. But, when the Doctor came back to tell you the positive results you panicked. Not as in panicked as in you broke down, but you threw up a mask. You're good at doing that. You must get it from your father.

When she asks you if this is good news or bad news you can't help, but blurt that it's good. Great even. Which causes her to beam at you. Before you know it, you're being handed a complementary diaper bag with formula and tiny bottles while being given the rundown on your possible due date and future appointments. You nodded you're head along with the information, sliding the paper's into the diaper bag as she hands them to you.

But, then she turns to you with delight and tells you that the Ultra Sound tech has an opening and you're just far along enough they can do your first ultrasound. It'll only be a thirty minute wait.

After nodding along once more, you go back into the waiting room. Holding your new bag with white knuckles and falling into deep thought.

This is happening. But, how? Are you even fit to be a parent? You've hardly ever been loved. How are you going to love someone else? How are you going to do this? What will the family think? What will your few friends think? You don't even remember who their father is. This is impossible. You're not ready. You'll never be ready. That churning feeling is in your stomach again and you feel that single piece of toast you had for breakfast about to come back up.

The thirty minutes fly by with those thoughts in your head. They still swirl in your head as your go back into the ultrasound room.

It's dark, but the tech had few soft lights on in the room. Its actually kind of... cozy.

What's not cozy it the tech telling you that she's going to stick a wand up your bits so you could see the baby. Your eyes screwing shut at the cold invasive feeling.

But, when you open them, she turns the screen for you to see. It's almost amazing how fast the image appears on the screen.

And, their moving. Actually moving. You end up laughing at the sight, causing the screen to flicker and the little blob to move. When the nurse plays the heart beat you can feel yours stuttering in your chest.

Watching them bounce in there with each laugh, it’s easy for the next words to spill out of your mouth.

“Oh, I’m gonna love you.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Every step after that feels remarkably less lonely. It’s not just you anymore. You have someone who you’re going to love.

You don’t bother telling the Family. Bruce would just lecture you on being reckless while the other’s would judge you for it.

Honestly, you don’t care if they did. This is your baby.

Funnily enough, for a house full of detectives and highly intelligent vigilantes no one actually notices. Not even Cassandra. It’s a bit insulting how much they don’t pay attention. But, your symptoms soon make it so you don’t care.

The waves of exhaustion, the way everything smells strong and certain things make you want to gag. Heartburn that burns your throat. The subtle cravings that make you cry when you can’t fulfill them. Thankfully you finished your exams because you were too tired to even move from your bed most mornings due to strange nightmares.

Eventually, someone does notice. And, it’s not anyone you would expect.

Of all things you cried over on the pantry floor, it had to be salt and vinegar chips. They hadn’t been what you wanted, but it was too late to go get french fries and a smoothie at this hour in Gotham. And, you stuffed them down your throat with angry tears.

It was Stephanie of all people to find you. You gave her a sharp glare when she seemed to grow wide eyed. Normally you avoid her gaze, but you were quite pissed about having chips in your mouth and not fries. As her eyes grew wider, your nose wrinkled in further annoyance at her.

Just as you’re about to tell her off, she speaks.

“Do you— um, want something else?”

It’s pitiful how fast your snarl turns into a pleading pout.

“Yes, please. I want fries. I want Jokerized fries so badly.” You practically blubber when she gives you a pointed nod towards the car garage.

It takes you a bit to get off the floor despite the fact that your bump is hardly noticeable, but Stephanie noticed the extremely subtle curve.

“How far?” She asks hesitantly, looking from the bump to your face.

You also hesitant for a moment, looking up at her with tears on your cheeks and a serious look in your eyes. “14 Weeks.”

Her eyebrows raise and a wiry pout appears on her face. “Damn. You’re smaller than I was at that time, so not fair.”

The slightly surprised that information gives you almost makes you pause. But, if you had you would’ve probably toppled back down to the pantry floor.

“Explain on the way?” You ask, still a bit nervous. The two of you had never been close since you moved into the manor less than a handful of years back.

“Sure.” She grins, leading the way.

As you both walk, she whispers. “Does Bruce know?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.”

“Ah.” Stephanie managed to hide the winces from you.

When you two finally make into the car, you’re already feeling better about life. You’re about to have your fries, and possibly a shake too. You didn’t expect to have any company, but surprisingly it’s nice.

Stephanie drives, and get the fries to go. Munching on them as Stephanie drives you back to the manor. Her sharing her own pregnancy experience.

"Wait, so Tim dated you when you were pregnant with another dudes kid? Babe, forget being me being small, you got game."

"Damn right I do." She says smugly, stuffing her own fries in her mouth. "So, um, do you wanna talk about what happened with you?"

And, just like that your mood shifts.

"No."

"Oh- Oh! I'm sorr-" She starts up, and you can tell she's assuming the worst.

"Don't you start, Stephanie." You interrupt with a pointed glare. "I don't want to talk about it because it's none of y'all's business."

That makes her cough on her french fry. "Wait, wait, what do you mean? Don't you want help?"

"Nah, I got it." Comes your stubborn reply, glaring out the window as you dip your fry into the cheesecake milkshake.

"... You should tell Bruce." She suggest after a moment of awkward silence.

"What? So he can ignore his grandchild, too?" Your filter is none existent with your hormones all out of wack.

"He doesn't ignore you-"

"Oh, yes the fuck he does." Your firmly state. Growing a bit heated. "Y'all all figgin do."

Stephanie is about to roll her eyes, chalking your words to you just being unreasonable. But, then the thought starts to creep upon her with each passing building when she realizes this is the first time she's actually hung out with you. Ever.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs to you. The silence falling over you both as the cars continues back to the manor.

"... I'm only forgiving you because you bought my fries..."

"Really?! That's all I had to do?"

"What? I was desperate for this- Wait! Hang on. Stop the car. Stop the car-"

"What? Why?! Are you- OH! Fuck!"

You ended up regurgitating up all the fries you had just eaten. Right into your lap.

"Oooo, that's nasty." Stephanie says, cracking the windows.

"Is it bad that I still want to eat them?" You mumble to her, eyeing the remaining fries.

"Please, please, wait till we get back or I'm gonna hurl, too."

"Fine." Comes your reply. Your eyes drifting shut for a moment. "If you tell anyone I'm gonna tell Cassandra about your crush on her."

"How did you- Frick, you are more like Bruce then I realize." Her voice going from panic to begrudging realization.

"Now, that's offenseive."

"Oh, come on. You're kids gonna have some of Bruce's DNA too."

"Eww. Eww. Don't remind me."

The banter between you both coming back with ease.

When you make it back to the manor, parting ways for the night. You feel at ease. You may have made have finally made a new friend in all this and gained a pillar of support.

As you shower and finish off your fries, you can't help but think about the apartments you had been looking at. Wondering what Stephanie will thinking of your nursery ideas.

Down in the cave, Stephanie slowly walks down the steps. Realizing this might have just gotten complicated.

"You okay, Steph?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Soooooo, what if, and hear me out, wee add some baby daddy drama to this?

A/N: Please note, I write a Reader that DID NOT grow up with the Bat Family, which means we could have some really really juicy drama here. But, we could just keep the options limited to just close friends of the Bat family.

A/N: What do y'all think? Baby Daddy drama? One of the Bat Boys the Daddy? One of the other vigilantes? Should I do a Baby Daddy poll? I just feel like this is an opportunity.

A/N: Also, Stephanie was a teen mom in some comics from my research. Which I think adds to this and gives her a better chance of bonding with Reader until shit goes down.

[ceilidho]

take me home, country road

[ao3]

You have nothing on your person apart from a hastily packed suitcase and the dress you came into town wearing, on the run from trouble back home. Too bad John's missing a bride that matches your description. Or: the 1800s (mistaken) mail order bride au (chapter 16 + 17) tw: violence, injuries, and misogynistic language

first chapter >> last chapter

-

Sinking into fear is the body’s natural response. You let it envelope you without putting up a struggle. It wouldn’t be one that you’d win anyway. Resistance already leaks out of you like tar, pooling around your quivering legs.  

It makes you feel lighter than air, almost buoyant; and conversely, heavier than lead. 

You can’t feel the cold metal of the gun through the layers of fabric separating it from the skin of your back, but you can feel its weight. And you can imagine it burning into you, burning a ring into the flesh, the muzzle leaving faint depressions behind, circular indents.

“Don’t feel so clever now, huh?”

Fear chokes as well as it binds. When the man you remember as Graves (appropriately named, you think, the gravity of the situation sinking into you as well) drawls the words into your ear, any moisture in your mouth dries. 

“Well?” he prompts, shoving the gun harder into your back, almost sending you toppling into the shelf still in front of you obscuring you from sight. “Got anythin’ to say?”

You open your mouth but nothing comes out.

“You a mute, girl? I know you ain’t deaf since you heard I’d been sniffin’ around lookin’ for ya. ‘Least I’m guessin’ you did, since you managed to give me the slip for the whole time I was in town.” He sniffs. “Took me a while to find out you were shacked up with the sheriff. Hiding in plain sight. Couldn’t believe I missed ya when Sheriff Price was damn near the first person I met in this two-bit town.”

You finally muster up the nerve to speak. “Y-you’re making a mistake.” 

The furled upper lip is audible in his voice. “I’d try not to piss me off too much, sugar. Lyin’ just rubs me the wrong way is all.”

“No, you—you really don’t—” 

He shoves the gun harder into your back, making you wince. “Now, I know you’re a slippery little bitch, so I’ll level with you, alright?” Graves murmurs, pitching his voice low to ensure that only you hear. “You make so much as a peep—so much as a fuckin’ whisper—and I’ll shoot. Wink and I’ll shoot. I am dyin’ for you to give me a reason to go with the better half of the dead or alive question.”

There’s no point in lying. It might’ve worked had it been anyone but the man holding you hostage; not a man as stubborn and mulish as him. You nod when he asks if you understand.

“Now get to steppin’.”

He doesn’t tarry long, leading you out of the shop with a hand on your shoulder and . You stare at Miles with mounting horror, wordlessly begging him to look up from the ledger open in front of him on the counter. Your prayers go unanswered though; he doesn’t so much as glance towards the door before it’s swinging shut behind you.

“Remember,” Graves says in a low voice as the two of you step out onto the porch, “not a word. I will shoot anyone that tries to interfere.” 

That kills the impulse to shout for help. 

The thought of letting Graves take you away without voicing so much as a single plea fills you with horror, but you can’t see any other way out. He walks you through the streets like an old friend, the pistol still wedged into your back obscured by his coat. No one seems to notice the wild look in your eyes or the strained edge of your smile. 

Your behavior infuriates you. Demural and soft and wretched. You’ve only allowed one man to put you under their thumb; only one has ever earned the right. 

The thought of your husband is an ache in your chest that doesn’t abate. It thumps with the terrified flutter of your heart. You half wonder if he’ll suddenly appear from around a bend and wrench you into his arms, gun already drawn and aimed at the man attempting to take you away from him. 

“My husband—” you start, tripping over your words. Almost tripping over a rock as well since your spine is too stiff to let you look down at the ground while you walk. “—He can—he can pay you.”

He laughs, a nasty, mocking sound. “I’m sure he’d like to, sugar. Jus' ain’t sure he’s got the cash to pay your price.”

“At least let me ask—”

At that, he jams the gun violently into the small of your back, making you wince agaun. Petrified. Sweat sluices off your brow and drips down your face. “What part of shut the fuck up don’t you get?”

That silences you. Hard to muster up the nerve to retaliate with a gun lodged against the base of your spine. Still there’s so much that bears asking. Why did he come back? Why here—why now? 

The town takes on a dull, listless quality as he steers you away from the more crowded areas. It’s almost like looking through muslin; a veil between you and the world. 

Your eyes dart from person to person as they pass by in the opposite direction, but even those that bother to meet your gaze only smile politely, a couple passing gentlemen chirping, “Morning, Mrs. Price” before sweeping by in a hurry. 

None question the wild, frantic glint in your eye, the look of a horse about to bolt. If they paid you more than a moment’s notice, they might, but even the lady who frowns curiously at Graves, his hand still resting gently on your arm as if he were an old, dear friend, abandons her momentary curiosity when her companion says something of interest, pulling her back into their conversation. The flicker of hope in your belly dies a soundless death. 

There’s something almost phantasmagorical about the entire ordeal. Almost like it isn’t quite happening, like you can’t quite make yourself believe that this is, in fact, real. Like you’re watching from outside of yourself. Though you can see the wooden facades of the nearby buildings and smell the scent of hay and manure from the livery stable, it doesn’t resonate within you as real. 

He meanders through town with you stationed in front of him. A meat shield. Collateral damage. Simply by the way he maneuvers you through the crowd, he reduces you to a body, stripping you of any semblance of personhood. You’re less than meat to him, less than human even—no more than a meal ticket. 

When you muster up the courage to open your mouth the next time someone passes you by, Graves’ hand slides up to your shoulder and he digs his fingers into the bone. A warning. 

“If you think I was kiddin’ before, just try me,” he sneers into your ear, thumb pressing into your shoulder blade until you wince. 

Again, his voice dispels any thought of getting someone’s attention. 

He doesn’t lead you towards the train station like you expect. Instead, he heads to an awning beneath the saloon on the periphery of town where a couple horses are leashed to a post, waiting for their riders to come untie them. The roof of the awning is strung with a dense cluster of overlapping cobwebs. A spider scuttles across the web and into the dark inner recesses of the canopy. 

This far from the center of town, there’s hardly anyone. When you give your surroundings a quick glance, you can’t find a single other soul within earshot, only a single man pushing open the batwing doors on his way into the saloon. Then you’re alone again. 

A tawny gelding chuffs when Graves approaches.  When he suddenly unhands you, it doesn’t click until he’s several paces away from you, running his hand down his horse’s neck and rifling through the saddlebags, emptying the contents of his coat pockets into them. You have to glance down at your shoulder just to be sure. He sheathes his gun as well, tucking it into the holster fixed to his belt. 

“Bought the horse off a drunk three towns back,” Graves explains while loading up the horse.

You don’t respond, still unsettled. It’s the first time since he led you out of the general store that his gun hasn’t been aimed at you. It wouldn’t be practical for him to dress and load the horse one handed. The sun beats down on you, burning the top of your head. This could be your moment—a moment to scream or run away.

But you don’t. You don’t scream and you don’t run because you are, above all else, a coward. Through and through. You’ve been running from your problems for months now, leaving someone else to take care of the mess you left behind. 

Fear paralyzes you; it makes you think too much or not at all. Even now, with Graves giving you the perfect opportunity to turn and run, you can’t stop thinking about the potential consequences. What if he were to shoot you? What if he were to haul you back into town and expose your sins to everyone who gathered around? What if the people in town that have come to see you as one of their own were to gather around your crumpled form and stare at you with vitriol and disgust? 

“How did you—” you start, then pause to breathe, the nausea building again. “I thought you’d left town.”

“You’d’ve liked that, huh?” 

You don’t answer that. You know better than to antagonize a man with a gun. 

He sighs when you don’t rise to the bait, almost pettish. “Wedding announcement. I saw it in the paper—by then, I’d moved on to Lexington, so it took me awhile to backtrack, but I just knew somethin’ about that bit in the paper about the sheriff’s wife hailing from the east coast didn’t sound right. Too big of a coincidence. Had to at least be sure—retrace my footsteps. Lotta money on the line, you know.”

You stare straight ahead at that. You ought to have known. 

(“In the paper. The county sheriff got hitched—of course it’d be a story.”)

“To be honest, that kinda cracked me up. Murderess marrying the county sheriff.” He snorts out a laugh, shaking his head. “Sorta thing you’d read about in a dime novel.”

A new emotion wells up within you. It simmers in your belly, hot and cold at once. Righteous fury. All this time, you’ve been betraying yourself with your silence, allowing men to read your fear as guilt. Complicit in your own ruin. 

“I’m not a murderer.”

The look he gives you is withering. “Sugar, I hate to break it to you, but you did kill a man.”

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. Nothing ever does, it seems.  But the more you hold it in, the uglier the thought seems, until it erupts from your chest like Vesuvius, lava and tephra shooting out. 

“He deserved it,” you finally spit out, the words coming from deep in your chest. 

Graves doesn’t even pause in his ministrations, back to tightening the saddle straps. 

“He deserved it,” you repeat, spittle flying out of your mouth and landing in the dirt between the two of you. 

“That’s not somethin’ I usually concern myself with,” he finally says, looking distinctly unimpressed when he meets your stare. Bored blue eyes. 

You’re struck by the sense that your life means so little to him that the circumstances surrounding your bounty hardly merit more than a passing thought. If he could spare less, he would. 

It’s the vilest thing in the world to be regarded with such bored contempt. 

“He would’ve—he would’ve raped me otherwise. I didn’t have a choice.” 

At that, Graves pauses. When he looks towards you, his eyes are curiously blank. 

“Better that than what’ll happen now,” he says, the words so perfunctory that it takes a moment for them to sink in.  When they do, you have to swallow back bile.

His glibness shatters whatever hope you’d had left. 

In that moment, you finally acknowledge that appealing to his sense of decency won’t lead you anywhere because it simply doesn’t exist within him. You’ve known men like him before—those more concerned with lining their own pockets than taking care of the vulnerable people around them. The archetype is not uncommon. You should’ve expected it even, especially from a bounty hunter. 

There won’t be any bribing him or talking your way out of the situation you’ve found yourself in. Whatever facinorous end awaits you back east, he’s happy to shepherd you there so long as it earns him his thirty coins. 

How many times do you have to ask yourself if you’re brave enough to do something before you answer? 

When Graves turns to face you again and takes a step towards you, likely to urge you up onto the saddle, you recoil, stumbling away from him. His eyes sharpen at your movement, fulvous wolf eyes narrowing on you. 

“And here I thought you’d stopped pissin’ me off,” he says lightly, a hard edge underlying his words. His hand lifts to rest against the handle of the revolver tucked back in its sheath, thumb flexing over it. 

“What’s the point?” you retort, nostrils flaring. “You either kill me here or I die there.”

You sound braver than you feel, fear making you shake so hard that your knees almost knock together. 

Graves’ smile is all lip, no crinkling around the eyes. “Oh, I won’t kill you, sugar. I’m a better shot than that.”

Your heart pounds against your ribcage, stomach turning over at the thought of him putting a bullet through your shoulder or leg. 

“I’m surprised you won’t just come quietly. You think the sheriff wouldn’t hand you over to me himself if he found out what kinda woman he married?”

That’s been your fear from the very beginning. The one thing that’s kept you awake at night, the nightmare shaking you out of a dead sleep. You’d convinced yourself that him calling the authorities or even escorting you back east himself was an inevitability. That John Price, paragon of virtue, wouldn’t bend the rules for anyone, much less you. 

But the more you think about it, the less sense it seems to make. Every tender word and touch rises to the forefront of your memory. If John has shown you anything, it’s love. He’s proven his devotion a thousand times over, shown you time and again that were you to leave, he’d come running. 

Suddenly, the thought that your husband would let someone take you away from him seems preposterous. It doesn’t align at all with the man you know. He’d go to hell and back for you, would rip out a man’s tongue for speaking to you the way Graves speaks to you now. Hindsight makes that clear. 

You meet his eyes, intention set. “I’d rather just ask him.”

Blue eyes turn to flint, flat. Droll candor shed for ruthlessness. Silence before a storm. 

He’s on you before you even have a chance to whirl around and make a run for it, arm cutting into your windpipe when he wraps it around your neck. He drags you back into the shadows of the awning, out of sight from anyone on the street; your heels score lines in the dirt. You choke, wheezing on your next breath, but his arm tightens, trapping the scream in your throat. 

“Shoulda done this before,” Graves grunts, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out the pair of cuffs he had tucked away. 

When he unhooks his arm from around your neck, you gasp for breath, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. Panic swirls and rises in your chest. 

“Get your hands off—” you hiss, beating his arm with your fist to no avail. He yanks your arms in front of you until your wrists are pressed close together. Your blood curdles at the feeling of cold iron against your skin and the gut-wrenching sound of handcuffs being fixed around your wrists, tightened to the point of pain. You can hardly flex your hands with how tight they’re bound. “Let me go, let ME GO—”

He pulls you in close again. “Don’t think I won’t tape your fuckin’ mouth shut too,” Graves snarls in your ear. Nausea swells in your belly. 

“Please— please don’t do this—” you beg, a sob breaking from your chest now. 

He sighs, long suffering. “Lord knows I tried to warn you.”

Despite the threat, Graves doesn’t tape your mouth shut. Instead, he fastens a rough piece of rope around your head, fitting it between your teeth like a bit. You don’t have it in you to be thankful for small mercies this time. The hemp cord scratches the corners of your mouth when you try to move your lips around it. 

“There,” he says, giving you a rough shake, satisfied. “That’s better. Can finally hear myself think.”

The tears leak out of the corners of your eyes in big, fat droplets, clouding your vision. When he wipes your cheeks with a calloused hand, the nail of his thumb catches on the delicate skin under your eye, leaving a thin cut. The pain makes you flinch, staring daggers at the man in front of you, but he doesn’t apologize for his rough handling. 

Graves heaves himself up onto the saddle first, swinging a leg over with practiced ease. You yelp when he hauls you up after, setting you on the saddle in front of him. Heat crawls up your neck when your skirt billows around your waist, horrified. 

“Save your tears, sugar,” he tells you, gathering the reins in one hand. “You’ll need ‘em for later.”

The horse whinnies when Graves pulls upward and guides him towards the road leading out of town, hooves clopping against the dirt. Your heart shoots up into your throat. 

Galloping out of town, you chance a glance back, head spinning as the world blurs around you. A man stands under the awning you just left, his head cocked as if stupefied. He’s too far away for you to get a proper look at his face though, no way to tell if he’s someone that might recognize you and alert John. You try to scream or wave your hands—anything to get his attention, to let the stranger know that something is wrong. 

You watch until the figure melds into the surrounding town. 

You keep waiting for someone to appear from behind you. A tall figure to darken the horizon, blot it like the moon passing over the sun. 

The last bastion of your hope collapses into rubble the farther away you ride, no man nor horse following you in pursuit. And then a hand grabs a fistful of your hair and wrenches your head back around, cutting off your view.

The plan is to leave the horse in the next town you reach and take a train back east. Graves would’ve done that back in the town you just left, he tells you, but he wanted to put as much distance between you and the sheriff. 

“You never know with men who’ve gotten a taste of married life,” he says when he finally deigns to stop miles from town, sitting on a rock and having a drink while he leaves you tied to the horse by your wrists. You shift from foot to foot, a cramp winding up your legs. “They get themselves a little pussy and lose all sense of dignity or morality. Can’t be trusted to do the right thing.” 

Steam practically billows out of your ears. You have the good sense to keep your mouth shut though, cognizant of the fact that you’re alone out in the middle of nowhere with a man who’d be happy to bring you back dead or alive. Though he hasn’t been quite so explicit, it’s apparent in the way he doesn’t offer to untie you or let you rest as well. The skin under the cuffs on your wrists are rubbed raw from your attempts to free yourself, and from the journey itself, with all the jostling and the persistent cramp in your right shoulder. 

The animal awareness dawns on you during that first rest. He’d taken the rope out when you were far enough outside of town that it didn’t matter if you screamed or not. That’s what stays your tongue now—the creeping notion that you are far from anyone that would be remotely sympathetic to your plight. 

“How much was the bounty?” you ask, more out of morbid curiosity than anything. You balance on one foot to shake the cramp out of the other. 

“Now, I hate to be rude, sugar, but what does it matter to you? It ain’t you collecting the reward.”

Your lips flatten into a taut line, already regretting prying. It’s not like knowing would change anything. 

The break ends sooner than you’d hoped, Graves urging you back onto the horse before taking a seat behind you. It troubles you because you’re not far enough away from town that you couldn’t still be rescued. There’d be more of a chance of John or someone else—one of his deputies, perhaps—coming across you out here. But you don’t have much of a choice. 

Out here, the land stretches on without end. Only the faint blue of a mountain ridge paralleling your route breaks the horizon. The land is flat, sparse apart from the dense shrubbery and trees twisted and bent by the wind. Cottonwood and boxelder. Chokecherry. Dogwood and hawthorn. Lush blooming saltbrush. 

The clear blue sky overhead is almost mocking, the rain from earlier long since abated. There’s hardly a cloud in the sky now. It’d be scenic if you could abstract it from the circumstances. A perfect day for gardening or a brisk walk after being kept indoors because of the rain. You’re still damp from riding through the rain earlier. 

A few bison congregate in a small dip in the terrain, grazing on the wild grass. You stare at them wide-eyed as you gallop along the upper ridge, startled by the sight of so many in one place. 

Despite the sublime beauty of the land, you remain on edge, unable to take anything in or truly enjoy it. Panic and revulsion leave you as gnarled and knotted as the krummholz trees out in the middle of the open plains. Riding with Graves feels nothing like the few times you and John shared a horse. It’s impersonal; transactional. Entirely against your will. 

The sun has only just begun to descend under the horizon when you and Graves approach a ramshackle house situated by itself in the middle of the open plains. Barely more than a barn, and long since abandoned by the looks of it. Age has done the place no favors; wooden slats sag and separate from the exterior of the house, the gaps in between the boards letting in all manner of insects and rot. 

Graves dismounts his horse about a stone’s throw from the hovel. His brow furrows with dissatisfaction as he surveys the abandoned property. 

“Shit,” he remarks, sucking his teeth. “A local back in town swore a family still lived here. Don’t look like anyone’s lived here since Abraham.”

Part of you wishes the former tenants still resided here, on the off possibility that one might take pity on you, but a much larger part of you is grateful for the dwelling’s vacancy. You’ve heard stories before, of families living out in the middle of nowhere. Rumors. Not all bad, of course; it’s common enough for families migrating west sometimes to stop along the way for a generation or two, building more permanent dwellings than the caravans they began their journey in. Many such families were also known for putting up travelers passing through in exchange for goods or help with chores. 

But you’ve also heard other stories. Like the Riley family out near Cherryvale and their homestead just off the Great Osage Trail. They lived out there for more than two decades before the number of lone travelers vanishing off the trail within walking distance of their property pointed the finger of suspicion at them. When the authorities finally got around to procuring a warrant for their property, they found the house deserted apart from the furniture that couldn’t be loaded into the wagon and an infant boy, dehydrated and petrified. 

You shake the story from your head. “…Are we spending the night here?” you ask tentatively. 

He looks at you from the corner of his eye, nostrils flared. “Don’t go gettin’ any ideas in that head of yours. Jus’ because a man’s gotta rest his eyes, don’t mean I gotta give you a peaceful night’s rest. No, I’m leavin’ those hands of yours tied.”

Your hopes deflate at that. 

He helps you dismount before hobbling his horse with a pair of leather straps around its front legs to keep it from darting off in the middle of the night. You wince sympathetically; you have more in common with a horse now than any man. 

The inside of the cabin is just as derelict as the exterior. At the very least, he feeds you. A couple scoops of pemmican straight from the tin. The fact that he insists on feeding you instead of letting you feed yourself puts you on edge. Your spine is stiff as a board through it all, your mouth barely opening up to receive the spoonful of pemmican, the metal clanking against your teeth. You wince, the sound itself tasting of rust. 

At all times, you are aware of the precarity of your situation. You can’t imagine there were any stipulations in the bounty to bring you back unscathed. Though he hasn’t tried anything untoward so far—not so much as made a licentious remark—you don’t know how long your luck will last. You flinch every time he so much as twitches in your direction, sure at any moment his mood will flip and he’ll drag you across the floor and haul himself over you. 

It’s enough to make your stomach hurt, turning over itself. He doesn’t try anything though, and for that you exhale shakily, the tension running off you in rivulets. 

One hour drags into the next. Night blackens the sky, seeping in through the crumbling walls of the cabin. 

“Well,” Graves says, wiping his hands together to dust off any lingering crumbs. “I’m gonna hit the hay.”

“Do…do I get to sleep as well?”

He cocks a brow. “Not much I can do to stop you.”

“It’s just that…” You lift your hands as you trail off, silently pointing out the handcuffs still secured around your wrists, the implicit assertion being that you won’t be able to sleep with the metal digging into the bones of your wrists. 

Graves scoffs. “You can’t think I’ll just uncuff you ‘cause we ain’t in town no more. I got a little more sense than that, sugar.”

“You could use rope instead?” you suggest. 

The seconds he spends considering it are long. You hold your breath as you watch him weigh the pros and cons. 

Finally, he shrugs. “Alright.”

The relief that washes over you is almost palpable. 

He pulls a blanket out of one of the saddlebags to function as a makeshift pillow, setting it up on the floor in the center of the room. True to his word, Graves uncuffs you and loops a double knotted rope around your wrists instead, fastening the rope tying your hands together around his own wrist. Your stomach sinks as he pulls the knot taut. 

He levels a heavy stare on you after giving the rope one last tug. “I don’t usually repeat myself, sugar, but I will this one time. Don’t go tryin’ anythin’ stupid. I’m gettin’ a good night’s rest and so help me if you wake me up—” his eyes flash, gray going steely “—you won’t like the consequences.”

You nod. Swallow back the phlegm clogging your throat. 

True night plunges the old house into darkness, cricket songs slipping in through the cracks in the walls. The temperature also plunges with the setting sun. It gets cold at night, even in the summer months; the draft makes you shiver, the rotting exterior letting in the elements. 

You keep to the wall with the least amount of rotting boards, as far as the rope tethering you to Graves will allow you to go. It would probably be in your best interest to try and get some sleep, but you’re far too restless to calm down. The atmosphere in the house is far too eerie to settle your nerves either; you can’t help but wonder about the family that must have left this place to rot and fade away into memory. 

It’s all you can do to blink back the tears that spring to your eyes when you think about the memory of you that John will have to carry into the future now that you’re gone. It isn’t fair. After everything you’ve had to endure in this lifetime, you thought maybe that this might have been your reward. That John was your reward. 

Your hands drop from your chin to your knees, hopelessness plaguing you again. The thin, sharp whistle of defeat. High and reedy as a death rattle. 

Then your eyes drop to your wrists.

The cord is fastened in a bowline knot around your wrists, difficult to undo without considerable effort, but the material is softer than the cuffs Graves had you in before, and it gives when you pull one hand down while pushing the other up. Your skin bunches around the cord, but it doesn’t cut into you the way the metal did. 

Graves is still fast asleep when you glance over at him. He doesn’t snore, but the rise and fall of his chest under the blanket is steady. Stable. 

The fatigue dissipates from your body the second you put it together. That there’s a sliver of a possibility of slipping your hands out of the rope tying you to Graves. The exhilaration is almost overwhelming. You have to sit with it a beat before acting, wary of letting your guard down too fast.

Time passes slowly as you fiddle with the knot, reaching your fingers as far as they’ll go and gritting your teeth through the ensuing cramp in your wrist. You nearly groan in frustration when your hand twitches and you accidentally retighten the knot. A near crushing blow. 

Please, you mouth more than whisper, frustrated tears clumped in your lashes. Teeth sinking into the flesh of your bottom lip, pinching off the wail rising up your throat. 

Your heart skips a beat when the rope loosens around one of your wrists, enough for you to wiggle a pinkie underneath and slowly shimmy it up the length of your hand. A cramp makes your pinkie spasm, almost causing you to lose your grip. Sweat pools in the cup of your palm. 

When your wrists are finally free, the rope clutched in trembling hands and the basal joint of your thumb scrapped raw from the fibrous rope, you can only sit there, heart beating wildly in your chest. You have to force yourself to remain calm, wary of waking Graves up after all that effort. His eyelids quiver only with his dreams though. 

You glance towards the door on the other side of the cabin. It seems either farther away now that you know it’s within reach. You know better than to just run straight for it though. Weeks of being on the run before finding John have taught you to pace yourself, to push down the fluttering evocation in your chest to make a mad dash for the closest way out. 

Instead, you take a deep breath out, closing your eyes until you’ve calmed down. Then you rise slowly to your feet. 

Your eyes, having long since adjusted to the darkness, scan the room for any loose floorboards. Aside from one obvious corner of the house which has begun to rot away and collapse, it’s hard for you to discern at a glance which boards will groan under the weight of your feet. You have no choice but to guess.

Each step has you on edge, heart in your throat. Your focus shifts quicksilver between the floor and Graves. Waiting for any sudden movement. 

Halfway to the door, you take another cautious step forward and the floorboard creaks under your foot. Your heart stops, eyes flitting instantly over to Graves’ sleeping form. He doesn’t so much as shift. It’s another beat before you’re able to move again, confidence shaken by the noise. You keep imagining him suddenly shooting up from the floor, pistol in hand, the hammer striking the primer, the hiss of gas escaping the barrel. 

The door gives a faint creak when you push it open, so you open it only enough for your body to slip through, wincing when you twitch and accidentally push it open another inch, dragging out the creak. Still, he doesn't wake. You slip past the door, shutting it quietly behind you.  

The moon glows cornsilk gold in the sky. A vast, uncharted land stretches out around you, untouched by human hands, or so changed over the years that any human presence has long since been buried beneath the loam. But when you stare out into the distance, you realize that you have no idea where you came from. Everything looks the same in each direction, no landmark familiar enough for you to orient yourself. You’re out in the middle of nowhere and nothing looks right. 

If you had less strength, you’d fall to your knees. The despair is so immense that you hardly have the strength to hold it all at once. 

The silence lulls you into a false sense of security. You linger for too long, stuck contemplating your options. Coyotes yip in distant packs, their barks carrying across the plains. You shiver at the sound. It reminds you again that you’re on your own now. No husband to come chasing after you if things get sticky. 

Your first few steps away from the cabin are tentative, gliding your legs through the grass and staring up at the cornsilk moon. A combination of indulgence and bewilderment. If you knew the right way home, you wouldn’t waver, but these days, you have no faith in your instincts. They’ve only ever led you off course. 

The gelding that Graves rode in on sits in the grass with its hind legs folded underneath it. With its legs still hobbled, you know removing the leather will take more time than you'd like, but you figure it'll be easier to make your way across the plains on horseback, with the added bonus of leaving Graves stranded. If God were just, he’d starve out here and leave his corpse for the coyotes to feast on. 

You approach the horse cautiously, conscious not to make any sudden movements. Its ears angle towards you as you draw near. Attentive to your presence. 

“Hey there, honey,” you whisper, reaching out a hand and trying to show that you aren’t a threat. Its nose twitches.

Another step forward. Easy does it. One leg in front of the other.

“I won’t hurt you. I promise.” You try to mirror your memory of John in your voice, honeysuckle soft words. 

You aren’t John though. Not even close. You take another step towards it.

It brays when you get too close, skittish. The sound pierces through the night, louder than the coyotes in the distance. Louder even than the creaking door.  

The hair on the back of your neck raises, lips numb. Then the prickling awareness of movement in the house, like an itch on a phantom limb. 

Behind you, the door to the cabin bursts open with a bang, slamming off the wall and ricocheting back. You whip your head around to look only to find Graves’ towering form under the shadow of the doorway, his hair mused and clothes askew. And he looks enraged. 

“Hey!” Graves bellows from the doorway, breaking into a run towards you. “Get back here!”

There’s no time to sit with the regret, no time to bemoan the fact that you didn’t exercise enough caution, that for some reason without a gun leveled at your head, you allowed yourself to forget the very real danger this man posed to you. 

All you can do is run.

The grass whistles around you. You run so hard that your lungs burn, your arms pumping furiously beside you, dress swishing between your legs. You don’t have to look behind you to know that Graves is gaining on you. His body is built for pursuit. Still, you push yourself past your breaking point, not stopping even when you taste blood in your mouth. Mindless; directionless. No idea where you’re going—just away from him. You’d jump off a cliff if you came across one. 

He’s close enough for you to hear now, heavy breathing right behind you. But by then it’s too late. A heavy body rams into you, sending you careening towards the earth, the ground rushing up to meet you halfway. The dirt hardly cushions the blow. 

You hit the ground hard. Head knocked loose of thought, agony ripping across your face. The double blow of a body heavier than yours forcing you into the dirt, so solid that it crushes the breath from your lungs. 

Blood leaks from your lip, most likely split. When you breathe in to fill your lungs, you taste dirt and rust and earth. 

“Insufferable bitch,” Graves snarls, putrid breath wafting under your nose and making your eyes water. He grabs a handful of your hair and wrenches your head up before slamming it back down. Something crunches. Distantly, you wonder if your nose is broken. 

Your ears ring, the rest of his words drowned out by the blood rushing to your face. 

“Please—” you beg, blood dripping from your split lip. 

“Knew I shouldn’ta trusted you—conniving little cunt—c���mere now, get up—”

He rises to his feet over your body, big hand curling around your wrist. You hear your shoulder pop when he yanks your arm behind your back. A rush of cold. A sweat breaks on the nape of your neck. Shock sets in the moment after, adrenaline flooding your body. 

Then a sharp, focused surge of pain. It radiates from your shoulder outward, so intense that you can’t believe it at first. Your whole world reduces down to it. Feathering out down your back; irradiating waves of it. Thoughts scattering and then coming back together around the pain. If you scream, it comes out unbidden. 

“Ah, hell, I didn’t mean to do that,” he grumbles from behind you, likely staring at the unnatural jut of your shoulder. “Alright, sugar, one second—I’ll pop that back in.”

“Nononono—” you gasp, panic lancing through you, but he pays no attention to your words. 

The pain of popping your shoulder back in is excruciating. Relief follows shortly after, but the time between dislocating and relocating your shoulder is so short that it hardly comes as a balm to the pain.

“You…bastard…” you gasp. 

“Wouldn’ta had to do that if you hadn’t run,” he sighs, the sight of your pain subduing his rage. 

It doesn’t stop him from grabbing you roughly by the arm he just dislocated when he finally gets you on your feet though, steering you back towards the house. The pain that radiates up your arm is almost blinding. 

He drags you back to the cabin with a punishing grip. There’s no sympathy when you stumble. Moonlight illuminates the path back to the cabin and shows you the trenches in the wild grass made by your feet. Hardly more than a couple rods. 

The defeat that courses through you upon being dragged through the ramshackle front door is ten times that of earlier. When he lets go of your arm, you collapse in a heap on the floor, aching and sweating. A bag of bones and blood. You’d rattle if someone shook you. 

“I hate you,” you mumble from your spot on the floor, shaking through the pain. “Rot in hell.”

Graves doesn’t respond, but you can almost hear the way he grins.  

No rest for the wicked or the good this time. Graves wakes intermittently throughout the night to check up on you, wary now that you’ve tried to run. Your regret is palpable. You should’ve waited. Bided your time. There won't be another chance now, not after you played your hand so soon. 

The ache in your shoulder keeps you from finding sleep. Every time you get close to it, the pain radiates down your arm and it slips from your grasp, your hand closing around the empty space it leaves behind. Teeth grit, breathing through the pain. Loosening your jaw and panting because the pain overwhelms you when you so much as shift onto your side, the hard floor digging into your elbow. 

Right on the edge of sleep, just as you're about to latch on, a boot catches you in the ribs, jostling you back into the realm of pain. You wheeze, breaking into a coughing fit. 

“Get up,” a hoarse voice grunts above you, empty of sympathy. “We got places to be.”

He has the two of you back on the horse as soon as dawn breaks. Your escape attempt the night before must have spooked him, and you regret it now in the light of day because you know he won’t let you out of his sight again. The metal handcuffs digging into your wrists assures you of that. 

There’s no time for breakfast or time to wash up. Graves makes it a point to be back on the road as fast as possible, repacking his bedroll and stuffing it back in the saddlebag before dragging you up with him. 

The pain is a dull throb after sleeping most of the agony away. It comes back when you move too quickly though, which is hard to avoid on horseback when each gallop echoes through your sore bones and joints. 

The arching sun immixes with the heavens above, rising higher as the hours pass. You ache for a hat; something to keep the heat of the sun off your head. On the horizon, the mountain ridge sits like a spine bursting out from the earth. It’s all wastelands and portents. Evil omens. 

Your heart feels swollen and bruised, like something trampled under elk hooves. 

“Cheer up,” Graves says, tipping your chin up when the sun reaches its peak around midday, the gesture making you so uncomfortable that you almost shudder out of your skin. Your face still throbs with pain. “You should be glad I didn’t jus’ shoot you.”

Your lips pull back, baring your teeth to nothing. 

A shot rips through the air at that, his words commanding it into being. Your head instinctively ducks and even the horse under you staggers, spooked by the sound. Graves curses, tensing up behind you.

"What in the hell—"

You whip your head around to stare behind you, looking for the source of the gunfire. When you find it, your eyes widen.

[aashi-heartfilia]

The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao

*light novel spoilers*

I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)

And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?

POISON

She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.

And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.

I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.

And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.

One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.

So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.

Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:

She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.

Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.

It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.

And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.

They both are hypocrites.

And they both refuse to accept their feelings.

In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....

Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"

"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”

Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.

Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.

“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”

It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.

Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.

The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.

More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.

Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.

Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.

Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.

It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....

She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.

Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!

So, she got interested in poison.

Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.

And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.

Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.

But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).

Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)

Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.

~Sunshine

[spicygrilledscorpio]

Cat got her tongue - LN

Summary: Y/n is in heat and is too shy to ask for Lando’s help. While her lovely boyfriend decided to be a tease.

Warnings: SMUT, horny!shy!reader, teaser!Lando, fingering (f!receiving), pet names, penetrative sex, unprotected (don’t do that), orgasm denial (i think that’s it lemme know if missed any)

Notes: My first fic hit 1k i’m so happy, thank you for you guys support. Also still English is not my first language so sorry if anything sounds weird. Hopes you guys enjoy 💗

_________________________________________________

Y/n is probably the shyest person Lando ever met, and that’s also his favorite thing about her. However surprisingly, Y/n and Lando have a very high sex drive. Because of y/n’s shyness, she never says no to Lando, but he always makes sure she’s ok with it of course.

However, today was another case. They were chilling on the sofa in Lando’s apartment. Her boyfriend was sitting on the ground playing Fifa while she was lying on the sofa reading her new book. Everything was going alright, Y/n managed to focus and successfully finish 2 chapters until she reached the “spicy part” of the book.

“With a groan, he pushes into her while she gasps out loud, adjusting to his size…”

Y/n’s face starts burning as she squeezes her thighs together as she looks down at her boyfriend. As much as y/n wants to ask Lando, which she knows he will be willing to help her, she’s too shy. Normally, y/n never has to ask for an orgasm, she’s actually getting too much of it. Lando’s friends tease him saying that they’re like bunnies, always on top of each other. However, in this particular situation, she needs him. Y/n tries to shift her attention back to the book, but the words just fly through her head and she can’t help but imagine Lando on top of her. Y/n’s whole body was on fire and her face practically looked like a tomato and ready to explode at any given moment.

“Lan-” Y/n can’t help but call out for his help

“Hm?” Lando asks, eyes still glued to the screen

Y/n sat up and looked at him but didn’t reply

“What’s wrong baby?” Lando turns around to look at her red face

Y/n still doesn’t reply but looks at him with teary puppy eyes, hoping he’ll get it and help her out. Lando did indeed figure out what’s going on with his girlfriend but instead of helping her out, he decided to be a tease

“Can’t help you if you don’t tell me, hm?” He questions in a teasing tone, moving up to join her on the couch, face only inches away from hers. His hands were on her hip as he guided her to straddle him. Y/n had her arms wrapped around Lando’s shoulder as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, still struggling to get her words out because of her shyness and the overwhelming feeling of needing to be satisfied. Hip grinding down onto his crotch letting out some quiet whimpers.

“Use your words, princess,” Lando said in a stern voice, whispering in her ears.

“Need you” Y/n can’t help but let out a small whimper, given she’s almost half naked, only wearing panties and Lando’s sweater, sitting on her fully clothed boyfriend.

“At least use your manners, god,” Lando says mockingly. Watching her cute face getting flushed everytime she gets shy, Lando just can’t stop teasing his beloved girlfriend. “What’s the magic word?”

“Please?” She mumbled into his neck

“God, you’re so fucking cute” Lando chuckled. Their hands moved down to take off her panties. His fingers start going up and down her folds, collecting your wetness. “You’re soaked”

Y/n’s face gets even redder, looking like a chili at this point. She hates it when he says things like that, just because it makes her even more embarrassed than before, which is also why he loves dirty talk, he loves seeing her crumble for him. Lando’s fingers start rubbing her clit in a circular motion, drawing soft moans from her.

“I-I’m close” Y/n moans as Lando inserts two fingers inside of of her. Thrusting in and out at a brutal speed, he starts scissoring her, touching her G-spot in every thrust. But just when she was about to cum, he took his fingers out. She finally removed her face from his neck just to look at him in confusion.

“Not yet”

“I want you to ride me” Lando whispers in her ears, sending shivers down her spine. Y/n frowns and pouts looking at him, not happy from being denied her orgasm and being demanded to ride her boyfriend. Well, not that she had a problem with it, just that she is shy, and she’s pretty much a “pillow princess”, and Lando loves her since he prefers being on top anyways. However, since he’s in the mood for teasing her to her breaking point, Lando makes her ride him.

“That’s the only way you’re getting off, princess” Lando states looking at your pouting face, extremely unsatisfied with her boyfriend.

Y/n shuffles to unzip his pants and pull down his boxer, revealing his hard member, now leaking precum. She lowers herself slowly, having a hard time adjusting to his size. After taking in all of him, Y/n starts bouncing on his cock. She tries biting her lips to muffle her moans, throwing a tantrum since she’s still not happy from her orgasm denial earlier. However, her intentions fail miserably, as Lando's hands sneak down to stimulate her clit and she can’t help but let out a loud moan. His mouth covered her nipple and start sucking it, adding to the pleasure.

Y/n’s legs were shaking from the overstimulation and her speed slowed down. She can barely ride him at this point and just grinds on him, but it wasn’t enough. She knows she needs his help, but still finds it hard to speak up.

“All you have to is ask, bunny,” Lando said as he saw her slowing down

“Please,” Y/n says with tears welling in her eyes, on the brink of rolling down.

Lando holds her hips and starts moving her up and down on him, combined with his thrusts upward, he’s hitting all the right spots. The sounds of their skins slapping together with wet sounds of her arousal and his precum filling the room. Y/n’s pretty sure that their sofa is ruined for good but that’s not their focus right now.

“Lan I’m cumming” The overwhelming feeling took over her, pushing her to the edge.

“Cum for me princess”

Y/n squeezes her eyes shut as she’s about to cum “Eyes on me baby” Lando demands, always loving to see her face when she’s falling apart for him. Y/n keeps eye contact with him while she cums, just the way he likes it, and lets out a loud squeal, milking him as he spills inside her. Lando lays her down on the couch as he pulls out of her, parting her legs and staring at his cum leaking out of her hole. Lando takes his phone takes a picture and puts it in his hidden album.

“Do you have to stare?” Y/n asks, squeezing her thighs together to hide it.

Lando just chuckled and went to get a towel to clean her up.

“I love you so much, even though sometimes i think cat got your tongues, you’re so cute”

[bigbuffjoonie]

SEOKJIN PLEASE LMAO

I ran out of tag space I’m so sorry in advance but I just wanted to say I love that their names are Dark Hobi and Evil Yoongi lmao bc that also means in canon either they call themselves that or the heroes call them that and either way is so funny to me 😂

Versus | MYG, JHS - Chapter Two

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok

Genre: smut, fluff, angst, crack, enemies to lovers, Villains!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: weapons - daggers & laser gauntlets, swearing, mentions of blood, fighting (superhero workout-style), masturbation (m), allusion to shower sex

Word Count: 2.7k

Disclaimer: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me

Summary: Supervillain exes Yoongi and Hoseok are sick and tired of having their plans for world domination wrecked by you, aka Vitality, the world’s most powerful superhero. When fellow villain Jimin suggests a little competition to see who can bring you to your knees, they both eagerly accept. Now the battle is on as both men engage you in fight after fight to see who will conquer you first. Will you finally defeat these two, or will they destroy you - and possibly take each other out in the process?

A/N: The challenge has been accepted, now it's time to establish the rules! And introduce a few other key players. Also, uh, gird yourselves, here comes the angst. Just a little!

Unbeta’d as usual. I’d love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕

Chapter One ✨ Series Masterlist ✨ Chapter Three

CHAPTER TWO - THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Hobi stalks angrily through his lair. Struts, actually. Not intentionally. It’s just how he walks, like the world’s his runway. Helps that he’s usually dressed to kill, both literally and figuratively. 

At the moment, he’s striding towards his weapons room wearing a stunning embroidered Louis Vuitton suit that has all of his henchmen doing double takes, and not just because of the splattered blood staining the luxe threads.

The life of a henchman is hard, as one constantly risks bodily injury time and time again for one’s leader, but working for someone who looks like that helps to soften the blows a bit. 

Hobi glares into the retinal scanner outside the weapons depot and the doors slide open as it recognizes his chestnut orbs. It also recognizes his glare. 

“Rough day, daddy?” a robotic voice purrs overhead. 

“Yes, Jin, today was shit,” Hobi declares as he returns his laser gauntlets to their place in his vast arsenal. “And I thought I told you not to call me that?”

“Sorry, sir,” the integrated A.I. system replies. Hobi rolls his eyes in annoyance. Perhaps it was a mistake giving the Synthetic Electronic Optimum Knowledge Jung Intelligence Network aka S.E.O.K.J.I.N. (Jin for short) sentience. The first thing it did upon rebooting was declare its undying devotion to Hobi. Which means an endless stream of ridiculous terms of endearment. Or pet names. Or worse.

Hobi’s starting to fear he’s going to grind his teeth into dust.

“Want to tell me all about it?” Jin inquires, automatically opening the vault door to Hobi’s inner sanctum.

“Not particularly.” He’d rather not rehash his day. It was painful enough living through it. 

Of course, Jin is undaunted. “Did the meeting at Jimin’s not go well?”

Hobi’s lithe fingers work the knot in his tie, loosening it until he’s able to tug the thin strip of fabric from his neck. “It was fine. Productive. We nailed down the rules of engagement for Jimin’s contest.” 

The terms of the challenge are concise and clear:

No outside help

No teaming up

The competition ends when Vitality draws her last breath. The man responsible wins.

The first rule is the most important. No outside help means neither can ask for assistance from any other villains, including Jimin, who must remain an impartial observer, as he so haughtily put it. The only exception is the allowance for both to continue to use Jimin’s power disrupters. 

Jimin originally decreed that the disrupters were banned, but swiftly reversed course and said they could use them since they already had them. The meeting then paused so Jungkook could apply some bandages to Jimin before he bled out all over his newly-cleaned rug.

As far as Hobi is concerned, rule two is completely unnecessary. Moving on. 

The final rule is mainly a technicality, making sure everyone understands the goal here. Once that annoying little superhero is gone, the victor will be declared. And to the victor go the spoils. Namely, a straight line to world domination, and the knowledge that they’re the superior villain, second to none. 

“That doesn’t sound very upsetting,” Jin muses. “Is it because Yoongi was there again?”

At the mention of his ex’s name, Hobi snarls. “No. I can handle seeing him.” He continues to strip, frowning at the sight of his ruined suit. Once he’s completely bare, he wanders through his bedroom to his en suite for a shower. 

“Then I guess I just don’t know what’s got you so mad, kitten.” 

Hobi presses a finger to the pinched spot between his dark brows, rubbing soothingly. The bathroom door opens. “I’m going to shower. If Jimin calls, tell him to expect a dry cleaning bill tomorrow.” 

He sighs wearily as the door closes behind him. There are no cameras in this room, so Jin is blind to what goes on in here. Not because Hobi is shy. Quite the opposite, actually. But he needs one room in the underground lair he calls home where he can go to be totally and completely alone.

Tucked away at the bottom of his vanity is a picture frame. He pulls it out, gently running his thumb over the photo inside. Bad idea. Too many conflicting emotions swirl through his already disquieted mind. He tilts the frame away and catches his reflection in the fingerprint-coated glass. The man gazing back at him struggles to maintain his cool demeanor. He turns away.

Warm water pours from the rainfall showerhead, filling the room with steam. Hobi stands directly underneath the stream, still adrift, until one particular feeling bubbles to the surface, and he strokes himself until he’s shuddering, his release washing away without a trace. When he exits the bathroom later, towel slung low over his hips, his expression is calm once again, betraying no sign of the maelstrom within.

THOCK

Taehyung strolls down the quiet hallway of the mansion. 

THOCK

He pauses outside the study, strands of his bright blue locks falling in his eyes as tips his head, listening. 

THOCK

With a grimace, he twists the doorknob. “Yoongi-hyung.” 

“Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi responds cordially, before flinging another dagger. 

THOCK

The blade lands directly in the middle of a face.

“Didn’t know you were back already.” 

Yoongi doesn’t reply as he saunters across the room. With a violent yank, he jerks the dagger out of the nose where it’s embedded, and grabs the other six that form a perfect circle around it, leaving only the one at the top that pins the portrait in place. 

“Meeting ended early,” he finally states. He removes his striped suit jacket, hanging it primly over the back of a chair before resuming his position several paces in front of the wall. “Jimin fell ill.” 

Taehyung notes the dried blood still clinging to one of the blade handles. “What did he want this time? Did he finally figure out the bug with the power disrupters?”

“Of course not. No, he wanted us to go over the rules for his stupid little competition.” 

THOCK

“And you didn’t like his suggestions?” Taehyung gestures to the dirty dagger. “Hence the blood?” 

Yoongi pauses mid-throw to inspect the handle of his blade. “Oh, we had a little disagreement, you could say. But Jimin eventually came around to our point of view, and I agreed to all of his terms. As did Hoseok.” 

THOCK

Ah, of course. Hoseok-hyung was there again. No wonder the wall was currently under attack by Yoongi’s blades. Taehyung tries to remember where he’d put the spackle after Yoongi’s last assault on the drywall.

THOCK

As another dagger whizzes by, within millimeters of Taehyung’s unconcerned face (he knows his hyung never misses), he tries not to think about what happened when Yoongi and Hoseok split. Taehyung had never seen Yoongi on a rampage like that before. So many blades. So much blood. As much as he adores his hyung, that’s a side of Yoongi he hopes to never see again. 

“So… what are the rules?”

“No outside help.” 

THOCK

“Even from me?” Taehyung pouts at the thought of not being allowed to help his hyung vanquish his enemy. His entire life is devoted to Yoongi, after hyung saved him. He gave Taehyung a purpose and something solid to cling to when the cruel winds of fate tried to tear him apart. 

In other words, Yoongi’s his rock. 

“No outside help from other supervillains. You’re not on the outside. You’re in my inner circle.” 

Taehyung beams proudly, boxy smile lighting up his handsome features.

“The other rules are simply formalities. No teaming up.” Yoongi laughs dryly. “As if that would fucking happen. I’d rather die than ask Hoseok for help, and I’m quite sure the feeling is mutual.” 

THOCK

“And the challenge is over once Vitality is dead.” 

“Okay. Those all make sense, to me.” Taehyung treads lightly. “So… just letting off some steam, then?” 

THOCK

“A little. But I’m also brainstorming. You know the blades help me think.”

Right. Taehyung remembers when Yoongi was preparing for the Tokyo maneuver. What a horribly stressful time that had been. Yoongi spent so many nights strategizing that Taehyung had ended up replacing an entire section of the wall. Spackle only goes so far. 

“Strategizing how you’ll take Vitality out?”  

“Yes. But I’m planning so much more than that.” He tosses a dagger straight above his head. Taehyung watches it flip a few times before Yoongi effortlessly plucks it out of the air, pinching it by the blade. The smile he flashes chills Taehyung to the bone. “I’m going to take them both out.” 

THOCK

The hilt quivers with the force of Yoongi’s throw, dagger buried once again dead center in Hoseok’s face.

“Harder!” A grunt falls from Namjoon’s panting mouth at your command. “Come on, Joon, give it to me!” 

“Can’t…don’t…wanna hurt you.” 

You scoff, rolling your eyes. “I’m not gonna break, Joon. Fucking stop holding back!”

Namjoon obeys, throwing his next punch with more oomph. Still, you easily dodge the blow, sliding beneath his outstretched arm and landing a jab to his gut. 

“Jesus, if you punch like this on your next mission, you’re never going to win! You gonna need me to come fight all your battles for you?”

Your goading works. The yellow haze surrounding Namjoon shimmers as he spins into a roundhouse kick. As his large foot connects with your torso, you let out a pained “OOF!” and fly across the mat, landing square on your back. All the wind in your lungs leaves your body in one loud whoosh. 

Namjoon hovers over you, hands on his knees as he catches his breath. “You okay?”

Weakly, you flash a thumbs up. 

“Okay, I think that’s enough sparring for today,” Namjoon clucks his tongue. 

“‘M fine. Just gonna… lay here… for a while.”  

Your teammate flops down next to you and rolls into his cool-down stretches. “I know what you’re doing, by the way.”

“Trying to breathe?”

“You know what I mean.” 

Of course Joon sees right through you. He’s your best friend on the team. The two of you have clicked since the day Doc brought you to the company. His hulking frame and frankly mind-boggling strength run counter to his sweet, quiet nature. A gentle giant if ever there was one. But he’s an astute motherfucker, much to your displeasure

“You don’t have to punish yourself for Dark Hobi and Evil Yoongi both escaping again. That’s not on you. Once we capture our targets and turn them over to the containment teams, it’s on them to keep them imprisoned.” 

Obviously, you know this. But it doesn’t do anything to calm the anger still roiling in your chest. How many times are you going to have to defeat those two before they’re captured for good? 

It’d be so much easier if you could just take them directly to The Hole, where all the villains found guilty of crimes against humanity are taken and locked away for eternity. But no. You know the rules - find the target, take them down, turn them over to containment. They’ll be brought to justice by the company’s tribunal, who judge whether a villain is fit to be rehabilitated and reenter society or sent to The Hole forever. 

Justice. What does that word mean, anyway? Why does the company get to decide their fates? You’re the one with the power. 

You know better than to mention these thoughts to Namjoon as he reaches for his toes, loosening his hamstrings. He’ll just recite the same annoying phrases again and again–we’re not above the system, we work for it. No one is meant to be judge, jury, and executioner all in one. It’s not right. 

Except… it sure seems like the company is all three. Why does it get to decide what’s right?

These questions are above your pay grade. Which, admittedly, is pretty high. 

“I’m not punishing myself,” you finally reply, grinning. “I just prefer to spar with someone worthy. No one else here can really give me a workout like you can. Being friends with the strongest man in the world has to have some sort of perks, you know?” 

“Besides literally bench pressing you?” He winks. “Like the other night?”

You stare off into the distance. “Ah, yes, that was a magical evening. The day I discovered I have a size kink. You really made my head go brrrr, you know that?” 

Namjoon frowns. “Sometimes I think we speak two different languages.” 

“Whatever. Help me stretch my thighs, will you? They’ve felt really tight since we got off the treadmills.” Lying on your back, you lift both knees to your chest. Namjoon nods, kneeling by your ass. He grabs one of your ankles and extends the leg, then presses your thigh into your torso. 

It’s a terribly intimate position, but neither of you flush, both deeply familiar with the other’s body by now. It’s hard as fuck to date as a superhero. Practically impossible, really, with the crazy schedules and the always lurking paparazzi, not to mention the groupies–the cape clingers, as the company calls them. So the two of you have an arrangement. Purely physical. 

“I heard the search for Hobi’s lair isn’t going well,” Namjoon murmurs, his thick fingers digging into your flesh as he switches legs. He is unfortunately correct, which you already know without hearing whatever gossip he’s about to drop. “Doc said the presentation to the shareholders last month kinda skirted around the scout’s report.” 

Over the years, Dark Hobi has completely managed to elude your company’s ability to locate his base of operations, despite the fact that you’re pretty sure his weapons cache alone must be the size of Texas. Whatever he is using for security is clearly more sophisticated than anything the company has, a fact that absolutely drives the CEO mad. He wants to be the one with the best toys. 

“I’m telling you, he’s got an underwater base. It’s the only thing that makes sense,” you mutter back, making a face at Hyunjin when he walks by and whistles suggestively at the two of you. “Oh, fuck off, Jinnie, you know you wish you were the cream filling in this delicious whoopie pie right now.” 

Hyunjin just laughs, but Namjoon rolls his eyes. ”Whoopie pie?”

“I don’t know, I’m hungry.”  

Namjoon releases your legs and begins to stretch his own. “Anyway… he said the meeting was pretty cut and dry, the usual facts and figures, not much new. Oh, I guess there was some sort of weird Geiger spike the other night out in Busan but when the teams combed the area it came from, they didn’t find anything.”

“Busan? Who do we suspect is in Busan these days?”

“No one new that we know of. Just Jimin.” He snorts and you both begin to cackle. 

“Fuck, could you imagine if that guy got his hands on nuclear weapons? Probably blow himself up immediately.” As far as villains went, Jimin aka Mr. Machiavelli is less of a threat to mankind than Dark Hobi or Evil Yoongi than he is to himself. And he isn’t some sort of amazing tactician who keeps slipping through your fingers–no, you’ve defeated him plenty of times. The only reason he isn’t currently in containment is because he has an uncanny knack for charming the guards into letting him go. 

With a yawn, Namjoon stands, offering you his hand. “Probably. Come on, I need a shower.” 

”And that requires me?”

“Yes. You blew off your steam, now I gotta blow off mine.” 

Namjoon tugs you into the communal changing area where your other teammates are milling about and you giggle as he helps you shuck your gym clothes in front of an eye-rolling Hyunjin. “Stop gawking, Jinnie, haven’t you ever seen two people about to fuck before?”

Bang Chan runs into the shower area, blue aura blazing. “Vi, we just got word that Dark Hobi’s been spotted off the coast of Jeju Island. Doc wants you ready to mobilize in ten.” 

You sigh. Just another day’s work. “Ten minutes? Fine.” Taking Namjoon’s hand, you lead him into one of the shower stalls. “Come on, thunder thighs, show me what you can do in five.”

© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

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[sheep-from-rad]

Hi! Sorry if this is weird or anything, this is my first time sending an ask lol

But I just finished reading your writing about the singer/influencer reader and omfg I love your brain. Like imagine the reader did a cover of/wrote like spit in my face by ThxSoMch or Cigarette Ahegao by Penelope Scott (love her sm btw-) cause just imagine the GUILTTT

Imagine the Batfam listening to their music and just hearing the bitterness in their voice as they sing “Screwing everything up, doing everything wrong, In my defence I wasn’t supposed to be around this long, so” HGDECANZZKNFBVD

Anyway, I love your writing and I hope you have an absolutely amazing week! Take care of yourself too- drink water, eat some food and try to get some sleep ml <3

Nah anon you're cool. I love reading asks. ALSO credits to Luludelulusramblings, they made the originally made Influencer reader. Batfam belongs to DC as usual. Singer reader post: here

You know, in the Art History year 1901-1904, Picasso started the Blue Period where he only painted in the shades of Blue. It started due to the death of his friend, later his financial struggles, and of course the current state of the society. Blue Period art was so good but so doleful and depressing that no one wants to hang it in their house. Singer! Reader started their career covering mainstream songs, band songs, maybe even vocaloid. 

Their blue period started months before they planned to leave the manor. It was a simple cover of MARINA’s ‘Are you satisfied?’ A lot of burnt out overachievers ate that cover, even Tim himself. The song is basically the reader questioning the Wayne last name. Sure it was a goldmine to others but to them it’s a ticket to misery. One song cover turned into many song covers, enough to make a long playlist to play at 3 a.m. when you’re about to have a breakdown. 

The whole playlist? Batfam avoids it because it reminds them of the times they could have been giving you love but they didn’t BUT at the same time they can’t really avoid it. It became like those guilty pleasures playlist. Damian loves and hates reader’s ‘The Family Jewels’ cover because it reminds him of the fact that he and the reader are basically on the same boat. They were just children who needed attention and love. He got that attention and love immediately because of the whole league of assassins backstory. He won’t admit it but the weight of the role weighs like tonnes of iron on his shoulders. 

Jason, Bruce and Cigarette Ahegao will roll together so much. That man has twice the amount of trauma Bruce had and his coping mechanism sucks. All the aggressiveness was just a coping mechanism, underneath he’s a man with conflicted feelings and those years of being dead and suddenly being resurrected didn’t help. Let’s face it Bruce is a tired man who lives a double life. He's a man who dresses up like as a bat making sure the city is safe but he can't cover all grounds. The neglect on reader was unintentional but neglect is neglect.

Dick with reader’s cover of ‘Stressed out’ by Twenty one pilots, no explanation needed. ‘This is me trying’ by Taylor Swift with Cassandra, Stephanie, and Tim. Cassandra and Stephanie being raised by villains and Tim being an overachiever to have his parent’s attention. His parents being always away and realizing he basically did the same thing to the reader by making them feel invisible. 

Double guilt if they left the playlist on autoplay and ‘Daddy issues’ plays. Any version but I think the original fits the bill. Reader ends their blue period with a cover of Mother Mother’s ‘Burning Pile’ basically saying ‘Yeah fuck it, it’s over. I’m burning it, I’m leaving it, I’m closing the chapter’. But to the Batfamily, it meant renewal and turning a new leaf, an invitation to make things better.

[novemberheart]

{overview} Just because your pack is back together doesn’t mean things are back to normal

{warnings} fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, poly141, cursing, mentions of being scared, smoking, short chapter

Chapter 30 <- Chapter 31 -> Chapter 32

“Hi, Ms. Garrick,” you greeted. You heard her chuckle on the other end of the phone.

“Well hello, lovely,” she greeted back. You smiled at the similarities between their pet names for you. She had gotten your number from John after Kyles accident. She called you leaving the kindest message in your inbox.

Hello, Sweetheart. Now you don't know me, but my name is Rosalind Garrick, Kyle’s mother. But don't think that just because you don't know me, I know nothing about you. You’re all Kyle talks about anymore and I’m just so happy he's finally able to get some peace amongst his chaos. I know how hard this all must be for you so if you ever need anyone to talk to please reach out to me. As far as I'm concerned you’re a part of our pack and we want to make sure you are taken care of.

Alright, sweetheart. Talk to you soon.

Since then you've called her every few days, mostly to give her updates about Kyle.

“How’s our beta doing?” she asked.

“He’s been doing good. Started to get up and walk with crutches. He's stubborn and restless,” you grumbled. As if on cue, the beta trudged out of his room, heading towards the kitchen.

“That’s the man I know,” she chuckled.

“Hey, mum,” Kyle greeted from the kitchen. You bounded over, hoisting yourself up onto the counter.

“The next time you all go on leave I want you to come home,” She pressed. You grinned wickedly, agreeing before the words had even reached Kyle’s ears. “I’ve only met Johnny. Now it’s a crime I haven't met your alphas yet, and I'm not going to let you get away with me not meeting your omega. In-person,” she added.

“Sounds right to me,” you agreed. That's why she loved you.

“You’ll love the city. Did Kyle tell you about all the museums? I know you love those.”

Kyle did tell her about you.

“We can work that out,” Kyle agreed. He did want to go home, and he desperately wanted to share that part of himself with you. You and Ms. Garrick both squealed excitedly.

“Can I talk to you about something?” you asked. He stiffened immediately, his mind jumping to the worst.

Had he hurt you again?

Your hands smoothed over his shoulder, your bottom resting against his knee. His relax was instantaneous. He leaned forward, his forehead resting against yours.

“I was wondering if I could get a job?” you said slowly. It wasn't slow enough with the way the wheels in his mind were turning.

“Why? Something you need? It’s my job”-

“No, nothing like that. It’s more social than anything.” you interjected. “I’ll be with Anais and Jane. It’s at a new bakery a little off base. It's just a few hours on Fridays and the weekend,” you explained.

He wanted to shut it down. You were social enough. Before Kyle was hurt you had activities nearly every day. Sometimes it felt like you did more in a day than they did.

Yet the look in your eyes halted him. You had forgiven him- he could feel it. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint you after just making up.

“Alright,” he agreed. You gasped softly, a wide grin spreading over your face. It made him happy despite the feeling of something wrong clawing at him.

“Thank you!” you cheered, your lips colliding with his cheek.

“One of us will take you to work the first week. Then you girls can commute together. And you are never to go off on your own, you understand?” he urged. You hummed against his cheek. “And I need to meet your boss- and anyone else who’s working there,” he added, between your attacks.

You were just about to head to your room, when a strong arm wrapped around your middle. You recognized a familiar tattoo.

“Tavy,” you giggled. He said nothing, heading to his room.

“Seems like you've forgotten it’s my night, bonbon,” he teased, tossing you on his bed. He crawled over you, making you flush.

“I could never forget,” you lied, blinking up at him. He smirked down at you, completely still for a moment before pressing rapid-fire kisses against your cheek.

You squealed as his hands tickled up and down your sides.

“Mac, no!” you gasped out. “I was just getting tired,” you whined against him. He paused, his smirk pressing against yours.

“Alright, peaches,” he agreed. He wrapped an arm tightly around you, purring softly as you buried your face in his chest. Cinnamon mixed with some of your vanilla lotion he had stolen.

“Simon comes home tomorrow,” you sighed happily. Johnny hummed, a pleased rumble leaving his throat. “I thought you and John would be gone longer,” you yawned.

“So did we,” he yawned back. He said nothing more on the topic, yet you didn't expect him to.

When you woke up you were no longer trapped between him and the bed, but him and another body. Leather with an undertone of black licorice. There was more smoke in his scent than you were used to. He must have been smoking a lot. A purr vibrated through you, making his chestnut eyes flutter open.

“What’re you purring about?” Simon groaned, pushing the two of you closer to Johnny. He was playing dumb. You could feel the curl of his lips against the back of your head.

“You’re back,” you said weakly, your throat hoarse with sleep.

“I’m back,” he affirmed. His hand found your stomach rubbing small circles in an attempt to lull you back to sleep. He wasn't ready to get up yet. He had just gotten home an hour ago and the last thing he wanted to do was pull himself away from the warmth of this bed. “Go back to sleep, pup,” he urged. You didn't need much more convincing, your eyes practically sewing themselves shut.

“Welcome home,” Johnny grumbled, with half-lidded eyes.

“Thanks, pup,” Simon mumbled, his fingers digging into the Scots side, pulling all of you closer once more. That wasn't usual for Simon, needing to have his pack this close, especially after a mission. Something must’ve happened.

“You alright?” Johnny drawled, unburying his face from your neck. Simon hummed in assurance.

“Fine, mutt,” he soothed. “Get some sleep,” he pressed, his fingers racking up and down Johnny’s lower back.

The next time Simon woke he had a fever. It was hot enough to make you and Johnny wake up in a sweat. Johnny quickly grabbed you, plopping you on the couch next to Kyle- assuming you may have triggered a rut for Simon like you had for John.

“What’s happening?” John groaned, uncurling himself from Kyle on the couch.

“Fever,” you responded. Kyle's hand pressed against your forehead. “Simon,” you clarified, moving to stand so you could peek into Johnny’s room. “I don't think it’s a rut Johnny,” you mumbled.

“I’m fine,” Simon groaned. He peeled off his sweatshirt, flopping back down against the mattress. His wide chest rose and fell irregularly. You approached your hand resting on his stomach. His body seemed to relax slightly, and you decided to take the chance and curl up against him. His heartbeat was fast- too fast.

“I’m calling a doctor,” John pressed, gently maneuvering Kyle off of him. Simon flipped the two of you over, making you gasp. Johnny flung forward his hand gripping the alpha’s shoulder.

“Not gonna do anything, pup,” he mumbled, his heart squeezing at the sound that escaped you. “Need to feel ya,” he mumbled, just low enough for you to hear. His hand crept under your shirt resting against the soft skin of your back.

He couldn't explain it. It started two weeks ago, a light burning sensation under his skin, and an almost sour feeling in his mouth. It felt like he was going through withdrawals. He was shaky, his heart skipping beats. He went through two packs of cigarettes in a day and still no relief. Wasn't till he met you at the hospital after Kyle’s accident did he start to put it together. Yet it only got worse being around you.

He growled against your neck, clenching his jaw so hard his teeth creaked.

“Doctor’ll be here in fifteen,” John spoke, his shoulder taking up the doorway. “How long have you felt this way?” John pressed.

“Couple weeks,” he growled. A pang shot through his skull, he steadied himself over you, taking a deep breath. It only made it worse, yet he couldn't pull himself away. Johnny leaned against the desk causing it to creak, the sound sending Simon on high alert. You whined at the snarl that left him. “Sorry,” he apologized instantly.

“Sweetheart, how about we wait on the couch till the doctor gets here?” John offered, beginning to move towards the two of you. He didn't like the way Simon was acting. The sound that came out of Simon was deadly, making it known he disagreed with Johns suggestion. John released a sound of his own.

You were scared.

It didn't help when Simon's hand reached behind him, grabbing at John's shirt.

“What the hell?” Johnny growled. Johnny sprung into action, his arms reaching under Simons pulling him to the floor.

“Get out!” John commanded. You didn't need to be told twice, throwing yourself off the bed, curling up behind Kyle. Kyle held you with both arms, not caring about the uncomfortable stretch of his shoulder.

“Up we go,” Kyle pressed, grabbing his crutch and leading you into your room. He locked the door behind the both of you, cradling you against him as you shook.

You could hear them.

Cursing. The sound of someone being slammed against the wall. Growling. Shouting. Things breaking.

The smell of angry alpha began to seep under the door.

“Kyle,” you whimpered. He shushed you softly, his lips pressed against your hairline.

It suddenly went quiet.

Hi friends! See you in three days for chapter 32! 🧡🙌🏻

[heavenlyraindrops]

☆ “ᴡɪꜱʜ ᴍᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʟᴜᴄᴋ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟʟʏ.” | ᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴀᴛᴏ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ☆

☆ She said “fuck me like I’m famous” | Chapter Two

☆ Warnings: profanity, blowjobs, light grinding, part two of a series but you can read it as a stand-alone too (the only context required: they fucked once before), author!reader, reader writes smut :)

☆ Word count: 2k, Available on: Tumblr, AO3

You stared at the phone clutched in your hands, held above your face. Ken’s number on the screen. 

You’d gotten it about a week ago. You hadn’t spoken to him yet. 

In all fairness, that was your fault. He didn’t have your number- you’d both been so dazed it was a miracle you’d remembered to ask him yourself, simply telling him you’d call him. 

You hadn’t called him. 

You sighed, your arms tiring out from the strain of holding up your phone, so you rolled onto your stomach, elbows digging into your bedsheets. The screen read the time- five to nine. 

You bit your lip, and pressed the call button. 

It took a couple of rings for him to pick up, and when he did, the silence was so deafening you didn’t even notice.

“Hello?” You asked tentatively.

“Hey- hey!” His voice was tired, weighed down by fatigue. It made something stir in between your legs. “[name]?”

“Yeah.” You ran your tongue over your lips nervously, listening to his soft breath on the other end of the line. “I’m not- I’m not bothering you, am I?” You asked weakly. He gave a low laugh, and oh my god it sounds so fucking hot. 

“No,” he murmured. “You’re not bothering me.” Your chest untightened, despite the fact you could tell he sounds like he just woke up. 

“Plus,” he continued, “If I got to hear your voice I’d hardly call it something bothering me.”

You sucked in a harsh breath, but didn’t say anything, biting the inside of your cheek. 

“I was getting worried you wouldn’t call, you know.” You eased yourself onto your side as he spoke, pressing the phone against your ear. “So. Did you need anything, or…”

“No,” you said quickly, then froze up, wondering if it came out wrong. “N-no, I mean, I just wanted to wish you… good luck on your game tomorrow.” You buried your face half into the pillow, wrapping an arm around it. “You probably don’t need it, but…”

A few seconds of silence ticked by, and you wondered if you had angered him, when he spoke up again, voice still hoarse with sleep and now seemingly laced with something else you couldn’t- could have deciphered. But you pushed the thought away from your brain. 

“You wanted to wish me good luck?” You could hear the smirk in his voice. 

Your eyes became half lidded, as excitement raced through you. “Yeah,” you mumbled, lips still pressed against the soft fabric of your pillow cover. 

“And you think I don’t need it.”

You hummed softly. “You’re a good player.”

He paused, amused. “I was under the impression you know nothing about baseball.”

You frowned. “Well, I’m not, just, like, saying it.”

“Oh sweetheart, I know.”

Your face suddenly grew hot, and not just at the nickname. Instead of insinuating you were just saying whatever came to mind to flatter him- was he implying that you specifically researched stuff for him? Or that maybe it was just him that you looked up?

Well, he was right. But that was far beyond the point. 

“All I’m saying is that you’re a good player. You got a problem?” Your tone didn’t match your words at all. 

“Nah… I actually quite like it when you compliment me. Go on, do it again.”

“What?”

“Say it again.”

You rolled your eyes, suppressing a smile. “You’re good at baseball.”

“That’s right. And what else am I good at?”

You froze, muscles tensing up, then fell back face first into your bed, buzzing with embarrassment. “Don’t push it, Ken,” you mumbled, face burning. 

He laughed again, slightly breathless this time, and you pulled your hand up and trapped it under your chest to stop it from sliding down below your waist. “Tell you what, sweetheart. If you wanted to wish me good luck so badly you called me while I was asleep, late at night-“

Your chest tightened with anxiety.

“-maybe you should come over and wish me good luck personally.”

You immediately shot up out of bed, heart hammering in your chest as you stared at the screen. “Y-yeah?”

“If you’re down.” His voice suddenly sounded slightly nervous.

“Oh, I’m down.”

“Great. I’ll see you th-“

You immediately cut the call.

You kicked the covers off of your legs, hands searching blindly for your keys as you pulled on a hoodie. A notification popped up on your phone- his number, a single text message, and address.

Oh, Lord, thank you for forcing me to go outside and undergo true human interaction that fateful evening. 

-

“Hey.”

You stood outside his door, face flushed from the cold and shivering with your hands buried in your pockets. He looked you up and down. 

“You got here fast,” he murmured, and you shrugged nervously. 

“Excited to see you,” you tried, and he laughed, hand reaching out, fingers curling around your wrist and pulling you inside, up against him for a split second before he moved away, much to your disappointment. 

“Get comfortable,” he said, flicking his head at the couch. You pushed your fists back in your pockets, following him over, where he flopped down, tipping his head back. You went to sit next to him but he grabbed your waist, pulling you into his lap. 

You let out a sharp breath. “What are you doing.”

“Helping you get comfortable,” he said nonchalantly, slipping his digits in between yours, kissing your fingertips. A shiver shot up your spine, and he tilted his head. “You know what? Let’s talk.”

“Talk?” You echoed.

“Yeah, get to know each other better.”

“We got to know each other at the dinner,” you pointed out, and he rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, and after that too, right?” He remarked. Your face slowly turned red, making him grin. “And I said better, baby.”

“Fine, better. What do you want to talk about?”

“Anything. Just ask me a question.”

“Fine.” You thought hard, but with him pressed up against you, hands on your thighs, it was hard for you to think clearly. “How’d you get into baseball?”

He tilted his head. “It made my parents happy watching it, so I thought…” He looked down, and smiled softly. “I thought, if I could do that, if it would make them cheer like they-“ he sighed, cutting off his sentence. “Then I’d have to. You know?” His thumbs were rubbing circles into your skin. 

You leaned over, running your hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face. “That’s… sweet, actually.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “Did you think it wasn’t gonna be?”

“Considering how you act-“ you jabbed him in the chest, and he smirked. “-no.”

“How exactly do I act?” 

You paused, then frowned. “I don’t know, confident?”

His hand went from your thigh to your hip. “What’s wrong with that?”

Your bottom lip caught between your teeth. “Nothing.”

“Exactly.” His fingers dug into your skin. “So, why’d you become an author?”

You swallowed. “I like stories.”

He laughed. “Is that it?”

You smacked his chest. “Obviously there’s more. I’m just not good with words.”

“You’d think, being an author…”

“Whatever!”

“Don’t you work with words for a living?”

You stayed silent for a moment, then sighed. “I started daydreaming a lot when I was younger. I figured, if I could put those dreams down on paper, like other authors did, bring them to life, make people feel things-“ you shrugged, embarrassed. “Look, I don’t know. It just started with a massive maladaptive daydreaming problem.”

“Right.” He hummed, fingers splaying across your skin, creeping under the hem of your top. “For the record, I think that’s sweet too, you know.”

Your other hand was still buried in his hair. “Thanks,” you mumbled, feeling his breath on your lips.

“Maybe I should read one of your books some time. They’re really popular, right?”

“Yeah,” you said, then your eyes suddenly widened. “No way. No, you’re not reading them.”

He laughed, amused. “Why not? What’s stopping me?”

You glared at him. 

“What did you say you write?” He continued. “Romance?”

Your face burned as you quickly looked away. “It’s not just that, okay?”

He hummed, eyes fixed on your collarbone, a few faded, barely-visible bruises. “Right. You ever include, like, sexual stuff in your novels?”

You almost shot out of his lap and threw yourself out the window right then and there. “Huh?” You spluttered. “What do you mean?” Yes, yes I do.

“Like, smut, or whatever it’s called. You write that?”

“How’s that relevant?” Your voice was slowly rising in pitch, and he smirked.

“Nothing, just wondering why you don't want me to read your stuff so badly. Plus, I could figure out what you like.” He tapped his finger against your side, and you swallowed. 

“I’d probably like anything you do,” you laughed, albeit breathlessly. He raised an eyebrow. 

“Or you can tell me.”

You opened your mouth, but no sound came out. He smirked, a subtle roll of his hips making him grind up against you not going unnoticed. You sucked in a harsh breath. 

“I bet you write down every little fantasy you have onto that paper, yeah?”

“I type it,” you retorted, albeit breathless as your body responded to his touch, involuntarily bucking your hips. His grip on them tightened, holding you in place as he clicked his tongue. 

“So you do write that sort of stuff.”

You bit your cheek to smother a whimper, instead worming your hand down to palm his growing bulge. His breath hitched visibly, a muscle in his neck tightening as you stroked gently. 

“Maybe,” you breathed, eyes glittering. 

Getting off of him, you sank to your knees, nestling yourself in between his legs. You pressed a kiss to the tented fabric, making him tense up underneath. “Now, you want me to ‘wish you good luck personally’ or not?”

Your hand unzipped his trousers, and you could feel him holding in a breath as you pulled his length from his boxers- throbbing, a pearl of precum on the tip. You could feel your saliva gathering in your mouth as you swiped your thumb across it, making him flinch and almost buck up into your hands. 

“You know,” he said, voice wavering. “Maybe I’ll win the game from this alo-“ he cut off with a light groan, lips falling open and head tipping back as you pressed your lips to the tip, tongue flicking out in tentative kitten licks. You locked your eyes onto his as you dragged your lips down to his base, licking a long strip up his shaft. “Oh, fuck.” 

You hummed, and he shuddered as your tongue languidly traced a vein, his eyes lidded as his hand came to bury itself in your hair. 

Another curse, alongside your name, fell past his lips as you wrapped your lips around his head properly this time, trying to take in as much of him as possible. It hit the back of your throat, which tightened, tears springing to your eyes. 

“Oh yeah baby, just like that,” he breathed, voice shaky as you bobbed your head up and down, hips bucking needily against you as he collapsed into a few groans and murmured praises. His grip on your hair tightened. “Fuck [name] I think I’m going to cu-“

You simply hummed in response, vibrations running down his shaft and making him twitch, eyes innocent and wide-eyed, a betrayal of your lewd position. 

The look alone was enough to tip him over the edge, and his fingers curled around your locks, yanking your head away from him as he shook, his cum dripping down his length. You reached for the box of tissues on the table. 

After cleaning up, he looked down at you, and frowned. You tilted your head. “What?”

“You have a little…” cupping your face in both hands, he pulled it to his, tongue darting out to lick up a trickle of saliva that had escaped the corner of your mouth. It made you burn with desire, and you turned slightly to press his lips against yours. 

“Good luck,” you whispered against him, and he pressed back in, teeth nipping at your lower lip. 

“After I win,” he breathed, “I’m taking you on a proper date.”

You flushed. He pulled away, your chin in his hands, tilting your head up to look at him. 

“And that’s a promise.” 

[kookiewithluv]

✿—✧SPACE BETWEEN US✧—✿

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: college au, friends to lovers, fluffy (?), angst

Trigger warning: it's super cringe!

Word count: 9k

Summary: You have been in love with Jungkook for ages but never said anything. When a surprise date turns into a dramatic showdown, his hidden feelings come crashing to the surface.

a/n: The characters and situations depicted in this chapter are fictional and are intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The portrayal of emotions and interpersonal dynamics is a creative interpretation and should not be taken as a reflection of real-life relationships or events.a/n: Do not use this story as your own. I don't allow translations or reposting of my work on any platform, including YouTube.

a/n: Yes, you're probably experiencing déjà vu—I'm reposting this without a single edit. After my last account got suspended for reasons beyond my control, I figured what better way to kick off my return than by sharing one of my cringiest fanfics? Honestly, it's pretty on-brand for me, don't you think?

All Rights Reserved ©

@kookiewithluv 2024

You sat in your classroom, the hum of idle chatter around you barely registering. The lecture wouldn’t start for another thirty minutes, but you couldn’t care less. You just needed to be alone. The weight of recent events pressed down on you like a suffocating blanket, leaving you numb and confused. Your mind raced, thoughts tangled in a mess you couldn’t unravel.

Your phone vibrated on the desk, the screen lighting up with notifications. You glanced at it: 200+ texts and 28 missed calls from Jungkook. Without a second thought, you picked up the phone, turned it off, and set it back down. You didn’t want to deal with it, with him, with anything. Time seemed to blur as you sat there, your heart aching, your eyes glassy. But the tears wouldn’t come. They just sat there, stuck, like everything else inside you.

“Blush? Blush, are you okay?” Jungkook’s voice was soft, almost hesitant, as he spoke beside you.

You flinched, startled out of your thoughts. You hadn’t even noticed him sit down. Turning to face him, you were met with a sight that made your chest tighten. He looked so soft, so pretty in that moment—his pink lips curved into a worried pout, his hair falling messily over his forehead, half-covering those big doe eyes that seemed to shine even more because of it.

He reached out, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder, and called your name again. “Blush,” he said, the nickname rolling off his tongue like a quiet prayer. But you knew better. You did.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice filled with concern. You just shook your head and forced a small smile, turning away. What were you supposed to say? That you were what was wrong? That you’d fallen for him, knowing he’d never be there to catch you? The words were right there, lodged in your throat, but you swallowed them down, feeling them settle heavy and painful in your stomach. The ache clawed at your insides, begging for release, but you took a deep breath, holding everything in.

Jungkook was still watching you, his gaze piercing through the walls you were trying so hard to build. He gently cupped your face, turning you back to look at him. “Eyes on me. I’m talking,” he said, his tone soft but firm. The way his thumb brushed your cheek was so tender it almost broke you.

“You should—” he began, but the classroom door creaked open, and students started to file in, breaking the moment. He pulled back, checking the time, and you followed his gaze. Just as you both expected, Professor Min walked in, signaling the start of class. Relief washed over you, grateful for the distraction, for the escape. You silently thanked Mr. Min for his impeccable timing.

As the lesson began, you tried to focus, but your mind kept drifting back to Jungkook, to the conversation you’d narrowly avoided. Your chest felt tight, your heart heavy, but you pushed it all down, forcing yourself to stay composed.

The class went on, but all you could think about was how close you’d come to spilling everything. And how you still couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Class ended earlier than expected. Mr. Min had cut the lecture short, saying he had something urgent to attend to. The moment his words left the room, you were already packing up, hands moving frantically as you stuffed your notebook and pens into your bag. Your movements were jerky, almost desperate, as if the faster you moved, the quicker you could escape.

Jungkook was right beside you, his presence heavy like a storm cloud about to break. You didn’t look at him, but you could feel his gaze, those eyes you usually found so comforting now burning holes into you. As you zipped up your bag, you felt his fingers twitch, like he was about to reach out, but you didn’t give him the chance.

You bolted for the door, your steps quick and purposeful. Just as you reached the threshold, his voice—a smooth, velvety sound that usually made your heart skip—called out your name.

“Blush,” he said, soft and hopeful.

But you didn’t stop. You didn’t turn around. You didn’t even acknowledge him. For the first time, you ran away from him. Your heart hammered in your chest, each beat a painful reminder of what you were doing, but you couldn’t stop.

The hallway blurred as you hurried through it, eyes fixed straight ahead, refusing to look back. You knew he was still there, standing in the doorway, probably confused, maybe even hurt. But you couldn’t deal with that now. You just needed to be alone.

When you reached the canteen, you went straight to the farthest corner, away from the clusters of students laughing and chatting. You dropped into a chair, slumping down as you pulled the hood of Jungkook’s hoodie over your head, trying to hide from the world. Your hands fiddled with the hem of the hoodie, twisting and tugging at the fabric as if it could somehow ground you, make everything go away.

You curled in on yourself, your head bowed low, eyes fixed on your trembling hands. The familiar scent of Jungkook still clung to the hoodie, but instead of comfort, it brought a fresh wave of pain. You bit your lip, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill over.

In that moment, the bustling canteen felt a million miles away. All you could focus on was the way your heart ached, the way it felt like something inside you was slowly breaking apart. You wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything to release the pressure building up inside you, but instead, you just sat there, hiding beneath the hoodie that was his, trying to hold yourself together, trying to breathe.

You were drowning in your thoughts, the noise around you fading into nothingness. A voice yanked you back to reality, snapping the delicate thread of your spiralling mind. You didn’t need to look up to know who it was.

A light touch on your shoulder—soft, almost hesitant—tried to pull your attention. She already had it, though she didn’t realize it, because you still hadn’t looked at her. She stood to your left, leaning in slightly.

“Are you okay?” Lilith asked, her voice laced with concern. You kept your eyes down, refusing to meet hers.

Lilith. The campus beauty queen. The girl everyone adored. The girl who loved Jungkook. And everyone knew it, too. They rooted for them to be together, whispering about how perfect they’d be. The thought made your stomach churn, a bitter taste rising in your mouth. You hated it.

She continued, her tone gentle but insistent. “Jungkookie is worried about you. He was searching everywhere for you. You should talk to him. Should I call him—”

Your blood boiled at the sound of that nickname. Jungkookie. He hated that name, had told you so many times how much he despised it but never her. she kept calling him that, oblivious or maybe just indifferent. You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palms as you struggled to keep your anger in check.

“No,” you practically yelled, the word bursting out before you could stop it. Lilith flinched, her eyes wide with shock. She pulled her hand back, her fingers twitching nervously. But you didn’t care. You didn’t feel guilty. All you felt was anger—anger at yourself for losing control, and a burning hatred for her.

Without another word, you grabbed your bag, roughly shoving it over your shoulder as you pushed past her. She stumbled back slightly, her lips parting as if she wanted to say something, but you didn’t give her the chance. You stormed out of the canteen, your chest heaving with frustration.

The fresh air outside did little to calm you. You headed straight for the parking area, your steps quick and determined, each one pounding out the anger inside you. When you reached your car, you spotted it immediately and hurried over, yanking the door open.

You slid into the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut behind you. For a moment, you just sat there, your breathing harsh and uneven. Then, with a frustrated groan, you tossed your bag onto the passenger seat, not caring where it landed. Everything felt too tight, too overwhelming. You buried your face in your hands, your fingers curling into your hair as you tried to steady yourself.

But the anger wouldn’t leave, wouldn’t let go. It bubbled just beneath the surface, a constant, throbbing ache that wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t ease. And all you could think about was how much you wished it would just disappear. How much you wished everything would just disappear.

Taking a deep breath, you gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying to push all the swirling thoughts out of your head. With a quick motion, you pressed down on the accelerator, and the car roared to life beneath you. You didn’t hesitate as you started driving, focusing on the road ahead, wanting to leave everything behind.

But as you drove away, something caught your eye in the rearview mirror. Jungkook. He was running after your car, his face a mix of desperation and panic. You could see his mouth moving, probably yelling your name, but the sound was lost to the roar of the engine and the rush of blood in your ears. You didn’t stop. You didn’t even slow down. You just kept going, watching as he grew smaller and smaller in the mirror until he disappeared from view.

The ride home was anything but peaceful. The guilt gnawed at you, sinking its claws deeper with every passing mile. You tried to push it away, to convince yourself that you were right to leave, that you needed space. But the image of Jungkook’s face, the way he’d run after you, wouldn’t leave your mind. You’d ignored him all day, and you knew it must’ve hurt him. But you shook your head, refusing to dwell on it. You couldn’t handle that right now.

When you finally pulled into the driveway, the silence of your empty house greeted you. You parked the car in the garage, the engine’s hum dying down as you cut the power. The quiet was suffocating as you walked into the house, the echo of your footsteps bouncing off the walls. Your parents weren’t home. Again. Even though they had promised they would be. You let out a bitter chuckle, shaking your head at your own foolishness. Why did I even believe them? you thought. It was your birthday tomorrow, and once again, they weren’t there. Meetings, parties—whatever it was, it was always more important.

You made your way to the living room and sank down onto the couch, turning on the TV in a half-hearted attempt to distract yourself. But nothing on the screen held your attention. The images blurred together, the voices just white noise in the background. Your mind was too cluttered, too full of everything that had happened today, to make sense of anything playing out in front of you.

Frustrated, you got up and headed to your room, the emptiness of the house pressing down on you with every step. You didn’t have the energy to cook, the thought of food making your stomach twist. “Guess I’ll sleep hungry tonight,” you muttered to yourself, a hollow laugh escaping your lips.

You collapsed onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. The silence was deafening, broken only by the sound of your own breathing. But sleep didn’t come. No matter how much you tossed and turned, your mind wouldn’t quiet down. Thoughts of Jungkook, your parents, the loneliness that seemed to cling to you like a shadow—it all kept swirling in your head, refusing to let you rest.

You curled up under the covers, pulling them tightly around you as if they could shield you from the thoughts that wouldn’t leave you alone. But no matter how hard you tried, the weight of the day wouldn’t let you go. And so, you lay there, eyes wide open, the darkness around you feeling like a reflection of the emptiness inside.

You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as the room was cloaked in darkness. The silence around you was heavy, oppressive, and as the memory of the day crashed down on you, the tears began to flow uncontrollably, streaming down your face at an unusual speed.

Tomorrow was supposed to be special—your birthday. Even if your parents weren’t around, you’d convinced yourself that Jungkook’s presence would make it memorable. This morning, you’d been brimming with excitement. But all of that shattered the moment you stepped onto the college campus.

The crowd had been the first thing you noticed—a sea of students gathered in an unusually large cluster. Your curiosity had drawn you toward it, and you’d squeezed through the masses, pushing past eager onlookers until you reached the front. What you saw made your heart sink.

Lilith and Jungkook stood there, framed by the throng of students. Lilith held a bouquet of flowers, her face radiant with a hopeful smile as she offered it to him. The sight was enough to tell you what was happening. She was proposing. Your heart twisted with a mix of dread and hope as you watched Jungkook. He looked visibly distressed, his hands trembling slightly as he took the bouquet. A flicker of hope ignited in you that he might reject her, but the moment he accepted the flowers, that hope was dashed. The crowd erupted in cheers, and your heart shattered into pieces.

As if the scene couldn't get any worse, it did. The crowd began chanting, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” The noise was deafening, each cheer driving the knife of betrayal deeper into your heart. Jungkook’s face flushed with a mix of frustration and embarrassment. He grabbed Lilith’s hand and tugged her away from the crowd, leading her toward a more private corner. You knew it wasn’t about him not wanting to kiss her in public; it was about him wanting to keep those private moments just for himself, away from prying eyes.

Recalling the memory now, as tears flowed freely and uncontrollably, your heart felt like it was being squeezed tight. The image of Jungkook’s nervous expression and Lilith’s hopeful eyes replayed in your mind, each scene a fresh cut. The darkness of your room mirrored the darkness in your heart, the weight of the day’s events pressing down on you with crushing force.

You clutched the pillow to your chest, your sobs muffled but relentless. Each breath came in shaky bursts, and you could feel the tears soaking through the fabric. The tears and the pain were all-consuming, leaving you with nothing but the hollow ache of rejection and betrayal. The silence of the room was deafening, broken only by the sound of your own brokenhearted sobs.

It’s funny how quickly things change. The person who once made your heart flutter with joy now seemed to be the source of all your misery. But it wasn’t his fault. He had no idea of your feelings. You never told him, and now you were left with nothing but regret.

The minutes dragged on with torturous slowness. The clock still hadn’t hit 10, and you were restless, your body aching from the weight of your emotions. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, and closed your eyes, hoping to find some semblance of peace. Yet, amid the turmoil, a small spark of hope flickered within you. Maybe, just maybe, Jungkook would call when the clock struck midnight. Maybe, as he had done in the past, he would stand on your doorstep with a big bouquet of daisies, because he knew how much you loved them.

Hope brought with it a tangled mess of uncertainty and fear. Part of you desperately wished for him to come, to see him standing there with that familiar, warm smile. But another part of you feared what that would mean. If he showed up, you knew you might not be able to hold yourself back. The thought of begging him to love you, to confess your feelings, terrified you. You wanted nothing more than to be happy for your best friend, the one you loved with all your heart, without letting your own desires ruin his moment.

As these conflicting thoughts swirled in your mind, you became increasingly aware of the exhaustion that weighed down on you. Your body, worn out from the emotional rollercoaster, finally succumbed to sleep. You hadn’t noticed when the weariness took over, but soon you were drifting off, your breathing evening out as the turbulent storm of your mind began to settle into a restless slumber.

The harsh buzz of the alarm clock jolted you awake. You reached out with a groggy hand to silence it, grumbling under your breath. As you blinked your eyes open, a dull ache throbbed in your head, and you winced at the sting of light. Your eyes felt like they were weighed down by sandbags, red and swollen from hours of restless sleep.

With a groan, you rolled out of bed, stumbling toward the bathroom. Each step felt heavy, your body dragging as if weighed down by an invisible burden. You shuffled into the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror with a sense of numb resignation. The sight that met you was far from flattering. Your hair was a tangled mess, and your face was puffy and pale. You let out a shaky breath, your reflection mocking you. "Happy birthday, ugly," you muttered to yourself, bitterness lacing your voice.

You turned on the faucet and splashed cold water onto your face, hoping to wash away the remnants of the night’s tears. The brisk water was invigorating but did little to lift the fog in your mind. You brushed your teeth mechanically, the familiar routine providing a small comfort. As you stepped into the shower, the warm water hit your skin, but it did little to soothe the ache inside you.

Your thoughts kept drifting back to Jungkook. You’d hoped he’d come by, as he used to, or at least send a message. But as the minutes ticked by, it became clear you were wrong. You chuckled bitterly at your own foolishness.

He hadn’t called.

Not even a text.

It was as if you’d been erased from his life, replaced by someone new.

Finishing up in the shower, you turned off the water and stepped out, feeling cold despite the warmth of the steam. You walked to your closet with a heavy heart and pulled on a simple white tee and blue baggy jeans. You chose a pair of Jordan shoes, not because you don't felt like dressing up, but because you couldn’t muster the energy for anything more. The effort felt pointless when it seemed no one remembered or cared about your birthday.

You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you dressed, and the image reflected the hollow ache you felt inside. With a resigned sigh, you walked out of your room, ready to face another day, feeling like a forgotten afterthought.

You hurried out of your house, barely pausing to lock the door behind you. The cold morning air bit at your cheeks as you slid into the driver's seat of your car. Your movements were mechanical, driven by a deep-seated weariness. You started the engine and pulled out of the driveway, the rumble of the car filling the silence of your thoughts.

As you drove to college, Jungkook’s image was a persistent shadow in your mind. Each turn of the wheel seemed to echo with memories of him—his laughter, his smile, and the sting of his absence. You gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles white, as you fought to keep your emotions in check. There was an undercurrent of nervousness you couldn’t quite place, a fluttering uncertainty that made your heart race for reasons you couldn’t define.

The drive felt endless, each minute dragging by as you replayed yesterday’s events. By the time you pulled into the college parking lot, you were nearly suffocating with frustration and sadness. You parked your car with swift, jerky movements, almost slamming the gearshift into park.

Stepping out of the car, you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the melancholy that clung to you. The walk from the parking lot to the campus felt like a trek through a fog. Your eyes were downcast, your footsteps heavy as you made your way through the bustling campus. You barely registered the chatter and movement around you, lost in your own turmoil.

You finally reached the canteen, its familiar smell of coffee and breakfast foods mixing with the lingering bitterness in your heart. As you pushed through the doors, the chatter and clatter of trays and dishes surrounded you, but you barely noticed. You moved through the crowded room, shoulders hunched, eyes focused on the path ahead. Finding a spot at a table, you sank into a chair, tossing your bag on the table, feeling the weight of your emotions pressing down on you, as if the whole world was a muted blur around you.

You took a deep breath, getting up and walking to the counter, eyes scanning the options in front of you. The canteen menu was as uninspiring as ever, but hunger gnawed at your stomach, reminding you of your own laziness for not cooking anything. With a resigned sigh, you grabbed a plate of waffles and a cup of coffee, the safest bets in this lackluster spread. After paying, you turned to head back to your table, but something made you freeze mid-step.

There he was—Jungkook. His eyes darted anxiously around the canteen, scanning faces, moving with a restless urgency that made your heart skip a beat. For a brief moment, the urge to bolt gripped you, to just turn around and leave before he spotted you. But you shook your head, grounding yourself. He wasn't looking for you. He was probably searching for his new girlfriend, Lilith. The thought stung, but you swallowed it down and continued back to your table.

You set the plate and coffee down with a soft clatter, sinking into your seat. Just as you lifted the cup to your lips, ready to lose yourself in the warmth of the coffee, you heard it—his voice cutting through the chatter of the canteen.

"Blush. Blush."

His nickname for you.

His footsteps followed, growing louder as they neared. Your breath caught in your throat as you set the cup back down, unable to take that sip.

In no time, Jungkook was standing right in front of you, his presence commanding, and something was different. You forced yourself to look up at him, your eyes meeting his, only to be met with an expression that sent a shiver down your spine.

Anger? Why did he look angry?

His brow was furrowed, jaw tight, and his eyes—those usually warm, comforting eyes—were now darkened with frustration. You couldn't understand it. What did he have to be angry about? Confusion churned in your gut, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him, words failing you. The air between you felt charged, heavy with unspoken tension, and you could feel the weight of his gaze bearing down on you, waiting for an explanation you didn't have.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Jungkook’s voice softened as he gazed at you, the anger in his eyes fading into something that looked like sadness. He tossed his bag onto the table beside yours with a thud, then crouched down in front of you, his gaze never leaving your face.

Before you could react, he reached out, grabbing the sides of your chair and turning it to face him. His hands found yours, gripping them tightly, as if afraid you might slip away. The intensity of his touch sent a jolt through you, weakening your resolve. It was a good thing you were already sitting, or your legs might have given out beneath you.

"Blush," he whispered, his voice so soft it barely reached your ears. The sound of your nickname on his lips made your heart clench painfully. God, you loved him—so much it hurt. But what did it matter? You couldn’t tell him. He had a girlfriend now. You reminded yourself of this bitter truth, feeling the familiar ache of heartbreak settling in your chest.

You closed your eyes, trying to steady your racing heart. Taking a deep breath, you attempted to pull your hands away from his, but he only held on tighter, his grip almost desperate. It was as if he feared losing you, like you were the one thing keeping him grounded. The intensity of his hold made your heart ache even more. Could it be? No, you must be imagining things.

"Why?" he asked, his voice breaking slightly. "Why are you doing this? I’m trying to talk to you, and you’re just… not talking to me. You ignored me yesterday too."

His words hung in the air, heavy with confusion and hurt. You stared down at your intertwined hands, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. What could you say? There were no words that could fix this. The truth was too painful to speak. You just wanted to disappear, to be anywhere but here. The realization that he didn’t even remember your birthday only twisted the knife deeper. You felt like crumbling into pieces, but you stayed silent, holding back the storm of emotions threatening to escape.

You wanted to ask him if he even remembered it was your birthday. Did he really forget you in just one day after getting a girlfriend? It wasn’t about him not loving you or you loving him—that was a secret you’d buried deep. But you were best friends. Did he forget that too? How could he stand here, blaming you, while he acted like nothing was wrong?

But you didn’t ask any of those questions. The words that escaped your lips were far different, softer, weaker. “I’m sorry,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jungkook’s gaze locked onto yours, searching for something—maybe an explanation, maybe an apology. You couldn't tell.

“I was just… It’s… My parents aren’t home. And I was feeling sad and lonely,” you lied, trying to force a convincing smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes.

For a moment, his eyes softened, the tension in his shoulders easing. He seemed to believe you, and that only made your heart crack a little more. Where had that Jungkook gone? The one who could see through your smiles, who always knew when something was wrong even before you did. The boy who used to notice the sadness hidden behind your laughter was gone, replaced by someone who couldn’t even spot the lie on your lips.

He nodded, his grip on your hands loosening slightly. “I get it,” he said, his voice softer now, more understanding. But he didn’t get it. Not really. He didn’t see the pain you were hiding, the way your heart was shattering piece by piece.

You swallowed hard, biting back the words you wanted to scream. Instead, you just nodded, letting him believe the lie, even though it tore you apart inside.

Jungkook stood up and gently patted your head, his touch warm but distant. "It will be okay, hmm?" he said, his voice soft, almost comforting. You nodded, feeling like a fool. Will it ever be okay? No, it won’t. It can never be okay. You loved him too much for things to be okay. This love was too deep, too consuming to ever fade. The only way for it to end would be for you to end, or else this love would live on inside you forever. That thought terrified you—the idea of loving him for eternity, never being able to touch him, while time made him forget you. And yet, you'd be left with nothing but memories, trapped in a loop of unrequited feelings.

“Blush?” His voice pulled you back to the present, soft and filled with concern. He smiled at you, that sweet smile he always reserved just for you. But now, that smile only reminded you that he wasn’t yours anymore—if he ever truly was. Nothing about him belonged to you, and maybe it never did. You were just fooling yourself, weren’t you?

“Don’t think much. It’ll be fine. I promise.” His fingers brushed your face, his thumb tracing lightly over your nose—a gesture that used to make you laugh, that used to light up your world. But now, it only made you want to cry.

You forced a smile, the corners of your mouth lifting just enough to convince him, even though your heart was breaking inside. His touch, his words—they were meant to soothe you, but they only made the ache worse. You wanted to believe him, to cling to the hope he offered, but deep down, you knew better. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Jungkook smiled, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he pulled a chair closer to you and sat down. His happiness was infectious, but it only added to the heaviness in your chest.

"I have something for you," he said, his voice laced with excitement. "want to see it?"

You didn’t really want to see it. The weight of exhaustion was already pressing down on you, making you feel dizzy and drained. All you wanted was for him to leave, for this feeling of doom to pass. But you nodded anyway, forcing yourself to respond.

When his eyes lit up at your response, a small part of you felt a flicker of happiness. You watched as he reached for his bag, your gaze following the movements of his hands, wondering what he was up to.

He pulled out a large box of chocolates, and a genuine smile finally touched your lips. For a moment, the weight in your heart lightened just a little. You looked up at him, trying to match his enthusiasm.

"I know you love these," he said, holding the box out to you, "and I thought you were angry at me, so I needed to make it up to you."

You took the box from him, managing a laugh. "I wasn’t angry, but thanks," you said, your voice a mix of gratitude and something else—something you couldn’t quite name. He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, the gesture tender and familiar, making your heart ache even more.

But despite the sweetness of the gesture, the happiness didn’t quite reach your heart. A box of chocolates wasn’t enough to make up for what you really wanted—a simple “Happy Birthday” from him. Yet, you pushed those thoughts aside and leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug, thanking him for the gift.

As he patted your head soothingly, you closed your eyes, willing yourself to feel the comfort he was trying to offer. But deep down, you knew that nothing could fill the emptiness inside you—not the chocolates, not his touch, not even the sound of his heartbeat close to yours.

You pulled back from the hug, your eyes lingering on his, those big doe eyes that seemed to hold the universe in them. He was everything you could ever want, the very definition of perfection. And maybe that’s why you couldn’t have him. He deserved someone better—someone like her.

He smiled at you, a warm, affectionate smile, and playfully squeezed your cheeks. Just as he was about to say something, a voice interrupted from behind.

“Jungkookie!” Lilith’s voice, sickly sweet and sharp, pierced through the air, making you wince.

Jungkook’s head snapped around, and he smiled at her, his entire demeanor shifting in an instant. She came striding towards you both, her high heels clicking loudly on the floor. Jungkook’s eyes widened in surprise, and even you felt a twinge of concern that she might stumble and fall flat on her face. But she didn’t.

And as much as you hated to admit it, a small part of you was disappointed that she didn’t fall. You wanted her to.

In no time, she was standing in front of Jungkook, her hand sliding into his as she pulled him to his feet. It all happened so quickly, like a flash of lightning. One moment he was sitting with you, his hands gently cupping your cheeks, and the next, he was standing beside her, her arms wrapped possessively around his left arm.

He brushed her arms away, his expression softening as he bent down to your level. “Look, I’ve got to go now. I… I have something important to do. Take care and eat the chocolates, okay?”

And just like that, he was gone, leaving you with nothing but a box of chocolates and the emptiness gnawing at your chest.

You stared at the chocolates, the sweetness now a bitter reminder of everything you wanted but couldn’t have. It wasn’t the chocolates you craved—it was him. But all you got was this, while she… she had everything you wanted.

You turned deliberately back to your food, your appetite gone, but you forced yourself to eat anyway. The food tasted like ash in your mouth, but you swallowed it down, trying to fill the void that only seemed to grow with each bite.

The day dragged on, each hour blurring into the next. You didn’t see Jungkook again—not that you expected to. He was probably busy with his new girlfriend, and though you told yourself you didn’t care, the truth was harder to swallow. You cared. You cared too much. But you were tired of admitting it, even to yourself.

Finally, the day came to an end. You packed up your things, barely aware of your surroundings as you walked down the corridor, out of the building, and into the parking lot. Spotting your car, you headed straight for it, tossing your bag onto the passenger seat with a sigh.

Just as you were about to start the engine, you heard someone call your name. You glanced out the window and saw a guy waving at you. When your eyes met, he jogged over to your car, his expression nervous but determined.

Standing beside your car, he smiled awkwardly. “Hey! You probably know me…”

You shook your head, and his face flushed a deep shade of red. “That’s okay, I’m Jay. We’re in the same class. Literature?”

You nodded, waiting for him to continue, feeling the weight of his nervous energy in the air. He took a deep breath, then suddenly blurted out, “Will you go on a date with me?”

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. His words hung in the air, and you processed them in stunned silence. But as you remained quiet, you saw the panic start to creep into his eyes, his breath quickening. Realizing he might be spiraling, you quickly stepped out of your car and placed a gentle hand on his arm, offering a reassuring smile.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you said softly, trying to ease his nerves. “You don’t need to worry.”

He looked at you, relief washing over his face, though he still seemed uncertain. “It’s fine if you don’t want to. I’ll understand. You—”

His eyes lit up, a mixture of surprise and happiness flashing across his face. “Perfect! I’ll pick you up at 7 from your house.”

Your smile faltered slightly, the thought of giving out your address making you uneasy. “No, it’s okay. I’ll meet you there. Just send me the address.”

You exchanged phone numbers, his excitement almost contagious as he nodded eagerly. You still didn’t know him well. But at least this was something different, something that might distract you from everything else.

As you drove home, your thoughts drifted back to Jungkook and the emptiness that had taken root in your heart. But maybe, just maybe, it was time to try something new. To have a little fun, even if it was just to forget the pain, even if only for a night.

Time blurred by, and before you knew it, the clock struck six. Your phone buzzed with a text from Jay, providing the address of the restaurant. You glanced at the message before quickly getting ready, slipping into a simple black dress—nothing fancy, but short enough to make an impression. With one last look in the mirror, you grabbed your keys and headed out.

The drive to the restaurant was uneventful, your mind wandering as you navigated the familiar streets. When you arrived, the small vintage-themed restaurant immediately caught your eye. It was charming, with a warm, inviting atmosphere that made you smile. You stepped inside, scanning the room until you spotted Jay sitting in the corner, waving at you enthusiastically. You had to stifle a laugh—waving seemed to be his signature move.

You walked over, and as you approached, he quickly stood up and pulled out your chair with a shy grin. “Quite a gentleman, aren’t you?” you teased, unable to resist. His cheeks flushed pink, and he mumbled, “You look really beautiful.”

Settling into your seat, you felt a small flutter of satisfaction at his compliment. He ordered food for both of you, and the conversation began to flow naturally. Jay was nice—easy to talk to, with a soft demeanor that made the evening pleasant.

But then, mid-conversation, you noticed his hand suddenly move toward yours. He placed it on top of your hand, his touch tentative and shy. The urge to laugh bubbled up again, but you forced it down, deciding to let it slide. It didn’t feel right, but you didn’t say anything, noticing how nervous he was.

However, Jay seemed to misinterpret your silence. A few moments later, he scooted his chair closer to yours, his face inching toward you with a look that was all too clear. Your eyes widened in alarm, and you instinctively leaned back, creating distance. But Jay didn’t get the message—he continued leaning in, oblivious to your discomfort.

You opened your mouth, ready to stop him, but the words never left your lips. In the blink of an eye, Jay was on the floor, groaning in pain, clutching his side as he struggled to catch his breath.

And standing above him, fists clenched and jaw tight, was Jungkook.

His chest heaved with barely restrained fury, his usual calm expression replaced with something darker, more intense. His eyes, usually warm and full of mischief, were now cold as they locked onto Jay, who was still writhing on the floor. Jungkook’s hand twitched as if he was ready to strike again, but he held back, his gaze shifting to you.

He took a step closer, his presence overwhelming, and your breath caught in your throat. His eyes hard and cold met yours, the anger in them abating just a bit, but his voice was soft when he spoke. “Are you okay?”

"Huh?" You asked, puzzled, and startled. For what really? In your head, you believed Jay didn't have any wrong intentions. But Did you say anything? No. You were too dumbfounded to pronounce a word.

"Blush, are you okay?" He repeated.

You nodded, though the shock was still coursing through your veins, making your limbs feel heavy. Jungkook’s eyes searched yours as if looking for any sign of distress, and when he seemed satisfied that you were unharmed, he turned his attention back to Jay, who was trying to scramble to his feet.

“Stay away from her,” Jungkook warned, his voice low and menacing. Jay paled, his eyes darting between you and Jungkook, clearly terrified.

You wanted to say something—to calm the situation down—but the words were stuck in your throat, tangled with the confusion and a hint of something else. Relief, perhaps? Or was it something more? Hope? But, for what?

Jungkook’s gaze hardened further as he looked at Jay and then again at you, his voice firm now. “Let’s go. You shouldn’t be here.” He held out his hand, and for a moment, you hesitated, glancing at Jay, who looked utterly defeated. But in the end, you placed your hand in Jungkook’s, letting him lead you away from the chaos he had just caused.

Jungkook grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of the restaurant with a force that left you stumbling to keep up. His grip was tight, almost painfully so, as he dragged you toward his car, his jaw set in a hard line. When you reached the car, he yanked the door open and practically shoved you inside, slamming the door shut with a sharp thud. You wanted to tell him that you’d driven yourself, but the words caught in your throat. Something in the way he moved, tense and angry, made you stay silent.

He climbed into the driver’s seat, his movements quick and stiff, and started the car without a word. The engine roared to life, and soon you were speeding down the dark streets, the silence between you heavy and oppressive. The air inside the car was thick with unspoken tension, and you found yourself nervously fidgeting with the hem of your dress, your heart pounding in your chest.

You could tell he was furious; the tight set of his jaw, the way his hands gripped the steering wheel like it was the only thing keeping him from losing control. The cold night air seeped in through the cracked window, brushing against your bare skin and making you shiver. Despite his anger, Jungkook noticed. Without a word, he reached over and rolled up the window before flipping on the heater.

“My hoodie’s in the back seat,” he said harshly, his voice cutting through the silence. “Grab it and fucking wear it.”

The words were gruff, his tone filled with irritation, but the gesture was astonishingly thoughtful. You turned around to reach for the hoodie, and that’s when you noticed it—an enormous bouquet of daisies and a cake resting on the back seat. Your fingers froze mid-air as you stared at them, a mixture of confusion and curiosity swirling in your chest. Are they for me? Did he really? Your mind raced with these thoughts. You wanted to ask him about it, but when you glanced at his face, the sharp angles of his clenched jaw and the angry flicker in his eyes made you think twice.

Silently, you grabbed the hoodie and pulled it over your head, the fabric soft and warm against your skin. It was far too big, swallowing you up like a blanket, and his scent, a mix of something fresh and woodsy, surrounded you as you took a deep breath. For a brief moment, a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. He really was huge, you thought, but the smile faded quickly as you stole another glance at him, his expression still hard and unyielding.

The drive seemed to pass in a blur, the tension in the car making every second feel like an eternity. Finally, you reached your home, and before you could even reach for the door handle, Jungkook was out of the car, moving around to your side. He yanked the door open with a roughness that made you flinch and grabbed your arm, pulling you out onto the sidewalk. His grip was firm as he dragged you toward the front door, his steps quick and determined, leaving you no choice but to stumble along behind him.

Your mind was racing, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened, but before you could process it all, you were inside your house, the door closing with a sharp click behind you, and he was standing in front of you.

Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat echoing like a drum in the tense silence that followed Jungkook’s outburst. The fear in your gut twisted tighter with every step he took toward you. You had never seen him this angry before. He was always the boy who had been your childhood friend, the one you fell for in middle school but never told. At first, it was fear of rejection, and later, the fear of losing him and your friendship kept your feelings hidden. But now, wasn’t he lost to you? Didn’t he belong to Lilith now?

“Why the fucking hell were you out with that idiotic being?” His voice was like a whip, harsh and cutting through the air. The force of his words made you flinch, your shoulders tensing as if trying to shield yourself from his anger. You caught a flicker of something in his eyes—was it regret?—but it was fleeting, quickly masked by his furious expression.

Before you could gather your thoughts or find the words to respond, he took two swift strides toward you, and suddenly you were face-to-face. The intensity of his gaze bore into you, a storm of hurt and pain swirling in his eyes. “Do you like him?” he demanded, his voice cracking with raw emotion. “Do you love him?” He didn’t wait for your answers, bombarding you with questions while his face remained inches from yours.

You tried to speak, but the words were trapped, your throat tightening. Jungkook's hands gripped your shoulders, his fingers digging in with a possessiveness that left you breathless. “Damnit, say something!” he shouted, shaking you slightly. “Why were you out with him?”

But instead of answering, you shot back a question of your own, desperation lacing your voice. “How did you know I was out with him, Jungkook? How did you even find me Jungkook?”

You didn't want to answer his question. Why should he care if you loved someone or not, when he had accepted Lilith’s proposal just the day before? Now he had a girlfriend. He had no right to demand answers from you.

His anger flared further, a deep scowl marring his features. “Does it matter?” he snapped. “Does it fucking matter?” His eyes were intense, demanding an answer, and he leaned in as if he might kiss you, his breath hot against your face. “Why don’t you answer me? Do you love him?”

The intensity of the moment, the way he was so close and yet so distant, made you tremble. “Yes, it matters! It matters to me!” you shouted, your voice breaking with the force of your emotions. You pushed him away, the shove more about your need for space than real anger.

Jungkook stumbled back, his eyes widening in shock. His face twisted with hurt, and tears began to well up, glistening in the harsh light of the room. He stared at you, his expression a mix of pain and confusion, as if your rejection was a blow he wasn’t prepared for. The sight of him—this person who had always been so sure and confident—crumbling in front of you left a sharp pang in your chest.

As you looked at his tear-filled eyes, a deep, gnawing guilt settled in your chest. Why did you still care so much about him? You wondered. Your love for him was consuming you, and it was tearing you apart. You opened your mouth to respond, but he spoke before you could.

“I came to your house to celebrate your birthday,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “I wanted to surprise you. This time... I wanted to surprise you on your birthday, that's why I didn't wish you before. But. But when I got here, I saw you getting into your car; before I could stop you, you left, your car was already speeding up. I chased after you because I really wanted to make you happy. You were loo-looking sad all day. But, I lost you somewhere along the way, then sear-searched for your car for like forever. When I finally found it, it was parked outside that restaurant.” His voice rose with each word, and his eyes were wild with a mixture of frustration and hurt. “And the moment I walked in, I saw him trying to kiss you. You didn’t even stop him!”

The anger in his voice dissolved into tears. His shoulders shook as he struggled to breathe, the weight of his emotions crashing down on him. You could see the pain etched into his face, his breaths coming in ragged gasps.

You moved towards him, your own heart breaking at the sight of him in such distress.

You moved towards him and wrapped your arms around him tightly, hoping to offer some comfort. “Jungkook, what's wrong?” you murmured, your voice gentle. “why are you crying? Please, don’t cry.” But he pushed you away, his hands shoving you forcefully. His reaction stunned you, and a wave of realization hit you. So this is how he felt when you pushed him away.

You tried again, but he pushed you off once more, his eyes filled with anguish. “You love him, don’t you? How long? Huh?” he sobbed, his voice cracking with pain.

Determined not to give up, you moved towards him again. This time, when he tried to push you, you held your ground. You guided him to the couch and gently made him sit down, his shoulders shaking with each breath. You stood beside him, your hand soothingly stroking his back. “Please, don’t cry,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice steady.

He buried his face against your waist, his arms clinging to you. “Why do you love him and not me?” he asked, his voice muffled but full of hurt. “I thought you love me.”

For a moment, you were frozen, staring at him in disbelief, questions swirling in your head making your heart ache further. He knew. He knew you loved him, yet he chose her over you. Now, he was asking you this. How could he? How could he ask this when he was with Lilith? Did he expect you to chase him while he enjoyed his life with someone else?

With a mix of frustration and sorrow, you pushed his hands away from your waist. His crying intensified, but you no longer cared. “How can you say that?” you yelled, your voice breaking. “You accepted Lilith’s proposal yesterday! You’re dating her now! And you’re telling me not to love anyone else?”

Jungkook shook his head vigorously, trying to explain. “I— I didn’t... She... I... No. Please,” he started, but you cut him off.

“You knew. You knew I love you. You knew I was upset!” you continued, your voice rising. “still, you left me alone with those stupid chocolates while you went off with her!”

He tried to explain himself again, but you interrupted again, your anger spilling over. “I didn’t want those chocolates! I wanted you!” you shouted, your hand striking his chest. “You’re a heartless bastard. I’ve loved you for so long, and you never cared! Was it too hard to fall for me? And, why crying now?”

Jungkook’s face twisted with frustration, he knew you love him, he always did, his mouth opening to say something, but you cut him off once more. “You always stopped me from calling you ‘Jungkookie’ or ‘Kookie,’ but you never minded when other girls did it!”

He was growing increasingly agitated, his face reddening with frustration. Without fully realizing what he was doing, he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you close. His lips crashed against yours, the urgency of the moment catching both of you by surprise.

For a brief second, you were frozen, his kiss demanding and intense. But then, you began to respond, your lips moving against his. The kiss was raw, filled with all the emotions neither of you could put into words.

He slowly pulled away, both of you breathing hard, your chests rising and falling rapidly. Your face was flushed, partly from the kiss and partly from the shyness creeping in. His eyes softened as he looked at you, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek. “I’m not dating her, Blush,” he whispered, using the nickname that made you feel like home for the first time in what felt like forever.

You blinked, your heart stuttering at his words. “What?”

“I’m not dating her,” he repeated, his voice steady yet full of regret. “Yes, she proposed, and I didn’t reject her immediately, but that was only because there were so many people around. I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of everyone.” His hand dropped to yours, holding it firmly. “I told her in private afterward that I love someone else. That I love you.”

Your breath hitched as he confessed, his gaze never leaving yours. “She said she needed help with a project, and after rejecting her, I couldn’t say no. So, I left with her, but I didn’t want to. I just... I’m sorry, Blush. I love you, and only you.”

You felt your heart skip a beat as his words sank in. He lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. “And those names,” he continued, his voice low, “I never liked them. It always felt like they were calling a baby, but I didn’t care enough to stop them because... well, they didn’t matter to me. The only person who matters is you.”

His words wrapped around your heart, squeezing it tight. You couldn’t hold back anymore. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down, crashing your lips against his. The kiss was urgent, desperate, full of everything you’d been holding back for so long. His arms wound around your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you.

After what felt like an eternity, you broke the kiss, both of you panting, foreheads pressed together. “I love you too, Jungkook,” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion.

His arms tightened around you, his face buried in the crook of your neck. “I’ve loved you for so long,” he murmured against your skin. “I was just too scared to lose you.”

You pulled back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. “You won’t lose me,” you promised, your hand cupping his cheek. “Not now, not ever.”

He leaned into your touch, his eyes closing as if he were savouring the moment. “That's a good thing because... I'm planning to keep you forever and ever and ever. I’m never letting you go,” he vowed, his voice firm, and you knew he meant every word.

Jungkook’s arms wrapped tighter around you, pulling you even closer, as if afraid you might disappear. His forehead rested gently against yours, his breath warm on your skin. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he looked into your eyes, the intensity of his earlier emotions fading into something softer, something tender.

“Happy birthday, Blush,” he whispered, his voice filled with affection.

Before you could even respond, he suddenly scooped you up into his arms, making you squeal in surprise. He laughed, the sound full of joy, as he began to twirl you around. The world spun around you, the colours of the room blurring together, but all you could focus on was him. The way his eyes sparkled with happiness, the way his grip on you was firm yet gentle, and the way his laughter filled your heart with warmth.

“Jungkook!” you laughed, holding onto his shoulders, feeling like you were floating. “Put me down!”

“Never,” he teased, twirling you faster. “Not until I’ve spun you around enough to make up for all those tears.”

Your laughter mingled with his, and the room filled with the sound of your shared happiness. Finally, when he slowed to a stop, he carefully set you down, though his arms stayed wrapped around you, keeping you close. You were both a little dizzy, swaying slightly, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was being in his arms, feeling his warmth, and knowing that he loved you.

Jungkook’s hands gently cupped your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks as he looked at you with a smile that made your heart melt. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he murmured. “I’ve imagined this moment a thousand times, but it’s so much better than I ever dreamed.”

You smiled back at him, your hands resting on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your fingers. “This is the best birthday I’ve ever had,” you confessed softly.

He leaned in, pressing a tender kiss on your forehead. “I'm sorry for making you cry. I won't ever make you cry again,” he promised. “I always knew you love me I just... I was... I tried to tell you many times but everytime it felt like it's not the right time, I'm sorry my love. I promise I'll make up for all those tears I've caused you because of my stupidity. Gosh! I just love you so much, Blush.”

You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but they were happy tears. You leaned into his touch, feeling safe, loved, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like everything was going to be okay.

Jungkook’s arms slid around your waist again, and before you could say anything, he lifted you off your feet once more, spinning you around slowly this time, his smile wide and full of love.

“Happy birthday, my love,” he whispered as he twirled you gently.

Wow, you made it to the end! Honestly, that deserves a medal or maybe some serious painkillers. If you’re still breathing and not currently plotting my demise for making you read this—congrats, you’re a legend. If you’re crawling towards me with murder in your eyes, don’t worry, I get it. I cringed so hard writing this that I think I bruised a rib.

I know, I know. This is like a bad joke that just won’t end. I’m cringing harder than you are. But hey, sometimes you just need to unleash your inner masochist and share the pain. I posted it because I felt like it. So, let’s bond over this collective trauma, or you can just plot my demise in peace. Either way, thanks for sticking around and surviving this with me. Here’s to us—brave souls navigating the wreckage of my writing. Cheers!

a/n: Let me know what you think in any way you like—comments, messages, carrier pigeons, whatever! I'd love to hear!