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Act 1
I promised myself I wouldn't start another WIP when I already have so many and also I didn't make any breakthrough with my thesis in so long, but... but the first chapter of the TTEOTM x LBFAD fic I outlined here basically wrote itself, so here it is.
It's in draft form, it's long and unedited (I need to study some things more and fix a few others), no beta we die like Pian Ran (too soon?) Chu Huang (it’s already a tag on AO3 lol) and I also have no title yet.
Also, no promises I'll continue this anytime soon, be aware of this.
That said, here it is (first part out, the rest under cut):
§§§
It was cold. Heavens above, it was so cold, and all hurt so much, her eye, her head, her whole body. Her soul, even.
Li Susu tried, she tried to endure the pain, the disappointment, the guilt.
Oh, the guilt, the neverending guilt towards a world she couldn't save no matter her efforts, towards her family still destined to die, one by one, in front of her future self, towards herself for forcing all that pain and ordeals only to fail... and even towards him, her treacherous heart screeched, the one who loved her so strongly and yet she had to betray for everyone's sake, unable to find another route sooner, incapable of looking for one where they all could live.
She berated herself, for her mistakes and the pain in her heart alike, a pain she wasn't supposed to feel, not for him and yet... yet...
No, she had to push forth. It didn't matter what the God of Time said, that they were always destined to that, that there was no other choice, no other route, she had to complete the immortal essence for him, no matter what.
After all, she had been ready to die when she departed from her time. It wasn't like she had any hopes for herself to begin with. Her only wish was to fix things for everyone else.
Distracted and too tired to go on with the cultivation, she acknowledged she had to stop for the day. Eating and taking care of herself in the Cold Palace were ordeals that consumed much of her physical strength, so she tried to do the least possible, her mission the only thing that counted, to complete the cultivation and exchange the Evil Bone with Immortal Essence. Then she could rest, die with heart eased by knowing she'd done all she could.
Somebody had brought her food, as it often happened. Li Susu suspected either Pian Ran or her brother were doing so behind the emperor's back because the foods were usually good, and Pian Ran herself showed up with medicine every two days.
Somebody must have been helping her with other things, she suspected, although she had no idea who or why, her hearing and eyesight too bad to catch a glimpse of them even when she wasn't focusing on cultivating the essence.
Gratefully, she grabbed some of the food, munching it down in slow bites. It wasn't as good as always, or perhaps her taste was declining as well. It felt a little bitter, but so did the water, somehow.
It mattered not. She finished eating and went to sleep, the coppery taste of blood on her tongue overwhelmed her taste buds soon, as it often happened, and just as it often was, exhaustion claimed her quickly.
Yet, that time, that broken body didn't wake.
From the depth of the prison, Ye Bingchang waited for news of her sister's death, unaware she just caused the end of her world with her selfish envy.
§
Xiao Lanhua didn't often go back to the original Siming Hall, as her replica of it in Xishan was more than enough a home for her, as it was for the 500 years she waited in there for her love to return to her.
But, as Siming herself was exiled and the old Goddess of Fate never had other apprentices, Xiao Lanhua felt it was still her duty to take care of the destiny books, even more so now that with her powers as the Goddess of Xishan she could repair the damaged ones with more ease that she ever did.
Therefore, once in a while, she warned her husband she'd leave for a while, ignored his scoffs and whining not to go, and went to her old home to see what she had to do.
Siming Hall was almost abandoned, although Danyin had made sure to install a few guards there ever since she became the Goddess of War to make sure no one would steal or damage further the books, a little courtesy between the two former fairies now Goddesses who were also sisters-in-law.
In the past centuries, the plants Xiao Lanhua had helped with their cultivation had become able to get a mostly stable human form and took upon themselves the task to gather the fallen books and clean up the place so that Xiao Lanhua would find it pristine and liveable as it was when she inhabited the place full time.
As such when, one visit like any other, Xi Yun descended onto the front entrance of Siming Hall, the guards greeted her with the usual respect, she nodded back at them and entered, suspecting nothing out the ordinary.
At least, until she got closer to the Destiny Tree.
She felt it before she saw it.
One tiny bit of something misplaced, not in the wide area she worked on, but up on the tree itself. A leaf different from the rest. A Destiny Book she had to check. She looked up, ignoring the small pile of damaged leaves gathered for her on the desk, searching for the book that called for her, with an urgency at her core that told her to see what was going on impossible to ignore. Looking for the cause of the thin spike of worry puncturing her heart.
She located the book with ease and called for it.
It was like any other at first sight: a golden leaf, with a human's name, a mortal. The name meant "cinders", a strange one, as humans believed the names they gave to their children carried meanings and expectations and that was a humble, if not ominous, one.
And then she delved into it and saw what was wrong. The glowing veins didn't shine a bright gold, but red: crimson filaments engulfed a fate that was just beginning, the same sick, awful tinge as...
"Tai Sui?" she whispered, incredulous.
No, that wasn't possible. Xi Yun had destroyed the Evil God, she had been ready to give her all, Dongfang Qinchang had given his all, to destroy it and never have its poisoning presence taint the Three Realms again.
Tai Sui has been gone for over six hundred years, he couldn't be back.
And yet.
Over that mortal life hanged the grasp of Tai Sui, the boy's destiny was to grow into the Evil God, to become the Evil God himself, the vessel Tai Sui had been looking for ever since he lost his physical form.
She looked further in the book: his mother dead in childbirth, he was to be discareded by his father and seen as misfortune and a murderer before he could even emit his first cry, the nurses would find he already had teeth at birth and consider it another omen of disgrace, and that he wouldn't be able to express feelings, or even have them.
Perceived as different by other mortals, he'd be hurt and mistreated his whole life long, destined to suffer one abuse after another and eventually he'd die, widowed, in a cold snowy night, after which Tai Sui would be able to take control of his body and start the path towards the destruction of the world he so craved with the madness and pain imbued in the young man and the army of demons freed from the Barren Abyss.
Not even the Goddess of Xishan would be able to stop him, not this time.
She considered, for a moment, to pretend she never saw it, remembering her shifu's teachings about not changing mortals' fates, but that was too important. This was a fate that had to be changed, no matter what, no matter the price. The Tianji Mirror lit up with a soft orange glow right that moment. Xiao Lanhua had never seen it open in person, and dreaded what she could see in it.
"Xi Yun, Goddes of Xishan" a voice called from it.
She frowned and got closer. It didn't seem like a vision of the future, as she had been told those were silent, while this one called her by name. The mirror didnt't show much, just an opaque outline of a male figure with white hair.
"I am. Who are you?"
"I'm Ji Ze, God of Time"
Her frown ran deeper. Everyone in Shuiyuntian knew the story of how the gods had perished, long before the war between the fairies and moon tribe, how the only god left had been Ming Ye, God of War, who had also disappeared, consumed by his own grief, they said.
Yet, perhaps, the God of Time could reach past and future. Yes, that would make sense.
"I need your help, Xi Yun. Only you can set in motion what's needed to change the Fate in your hands"
"How?"
"The Devil Fetus' fate is written in that book, but it can be changed. You altered destinies before, you must find a way for this too. Another tried and almost managed, yet couldn't complete her mission and shall go through that mortal life again. Help her, Xi Yun, help Li Susu"
"What do I do?"
"The reason the Devil God can reform is an Evil Bone. Destroying the Evil Bone is the first step towards salvation. Li Susu knows how to. Please, do what you can to save the Three Realms and Four Continents"
"It's my responsibility, as the Goddess of Xishan, to finish what I started and destroy the Evil God for good" she replied and could almost hear the relieved sigh coming from the old god.
"Thank you. I'll leave it to you"
The Mirror dulled again and disappeared from the trunk, hidden as always.
Filled with dread, Xiao Lanhua tried to look for Li Susu's book, but she couldn't find it, not on the tree, nor among the ones to repair. A life not yet existing, or one already destroyed?
Xiao Lanhua hoped for the first.
After hiding the future Devil God's destiny book in her clothes, she penned a message to alert the Goddess of War, sending it with her powers through the air, hoping it would reach her as soon as possible.
She was certain Dongfang Qingcang was already on his way to Simingdian, as he seldom was able to let her stay on her own for too long and often showed up unannounced while she was working. She half-suspected his impromptu visits were also to annoy Lord Yunzhong, who couldn't deny the Yuezun to see his wife.
Therefore, she left on the desk another message for her husband to find. She couldn't wait to gather everyone there. Minutes in the immortal realms were days in the mortal lands, if she wanted to do something about it, provided there was something to do, it had to be done immediately, so she left for Yunmengze.
Changheng, under the pseud of Xiao Run, owned a teahouse in Lucheng those days. It was one of the activities he had tried his hand at in the years he moved to the mortal realm, after the fall out with his brother had become too grave to keep living in Shuiyuntian.
Lord Yunzhong would have wanted Changheng to marry, as he insisted the God of War's true potential could be achieved only through a powerful marriage, and had started to line-up potential matches against his will. Changheng's refusal to stay the God of War, going as far as to recommend Danyin to take his place, had caused a rift between the brothers that, added to their other issues, became a permanent break in about two centuries' time.
Therefore, Changheng seldom came back to Shuiyuntian nowadays and kept switching identies and jobs every few decades, to try the whole spectrum of mortal life.
It didn't help that Changheng had, once again, defied his brother's will in order to follow his heart. First his broken heart, which refused to tie itself to anyone, after he lost his first love.
Then, time later, out of love for himself, that made him realize how little he had valued his own life, and how childish his infatuation had been. How much more he loved life when he was free to decide for himself.
His friends and former enemies had turned into his family: Danyin was both his sworn sister and student, Xiao Lanhua had become a cherished sister as well, Dongfang Qingcang had gotten used to be his sworn brother again, and even Xunfeng sometimes slipped and called him with familiarity.
All of them were welcome to find him at any given moment, his house and any property he owned were open for them at all times.
So he didn't wonder why Xiao Lanhua - who everybody in Lucheng currently believed to be his sister - appeared in the teahouse unannounced.
He did, although, worry when he saw how she carried herself. Long time before, any feeling could have been read on her face with extreme ease, and it still was the case, when she was relaxed. But when she wasn't, only Xi Yun could be seen, the algid, perfectly controlled Goddess of Xishan.
Her friends and family knew when Xi Yun took over there had to be some issue she was struggling with. Xiao Lanhua hid behind her goddess persona when things were too hard to bear, she had for most the 500 years after Tai Sui's destruction and, at times, even after, because she didn't trust herself enough to deal with certain matters as her old self, the little plant with the damaged root she had been for most her life felt inadequate, no matter how much she'd grown and how many things she went through. Some scars never healed, it turned out. Judging by how controlled her every movement was and how no trace of a smile could be found on her lips or eyes, the matter had to be grave indeed.
"Is something wrong?" Changheng couldn't but ask, and Xi Yun nodded once. "Everyone else should be arriving soon, I need some time to think it through before I explain it all" was her reply.
Changheng didn't ask more and led her to one of the private sitting rooms, the kind reserved for important meetings, with thick walls and sturdy doors to grant secrecy.
Danyin arrived two hours later, which must have been no more than a handful of minutes in Shuiyuntian.
"What happened?" the Goddess of War had asked, worried by the sudden convocation.
Unable to give a proper answer, Changheng had pointed her to the room and waited for the rest to come around.
Xunfeng appeared soon after, a raised brow and a tad of disappointment at not having been convocated in person. Danyin scowled his way when she saw him before he could utter a single word and shook her head, at which he merely scoffed and sat by her side, his impatience hidden with the ease of his diplomatic ability carefully cultivated in the past centuries as interim Yuezun.
Quicker than expected, Dongfang Qingcang strode in, followed by Shangque and Jieli, his first act falling on a knee by his wife's side and cupping her face with both hands, antsy at the sight of her darkened looks.
Xi Yun instantly relaxed a bit, leaned on the soft touch of her love, but the tightness in her features didn't disappear, making all of them even more worried.
"What is it?" the Yuezun stared at his wife, who shook her head and silently prompted him to seat.
Changheng closed the door behind him and sat too.
"You're all here" Xiao Lanhua whispered, relieved.
"Your message seemed urgent, did something happen?"
"Not yet, but..." she put the destiny book in the middle of the table, pinning it with her index finger, as if afraid it could disappear from her sight if she didn't keep holding onto it.
"This is a mortal's book," she began "I felt something wrong when I visited Simingdian earlier, and the reason is this" she activated it, showing the red tendrils that entangled the bright words.
Xunfeng tilted his head "What is that supposed to mean, a-sao?"
"Immortals' destiny books have their own peculiar glow. Mortals' books are less intense. But this never happened before, I had to know why, so I checked it out" she took a breath "This mortal will be the reincarnation of Tai Sui"
"What?"
"Impossible!"
"You destroyed him!"
"I thought so too!" she replied, quieting them "Some part of him must have stayed hidden somewhere, perhaps in the mortal realm, and now it'll come back, taking the body of this mortal upon his death"
"How long?"
"Not much. A couple decades, I guess. He'll be married but he'll be still young when he'll die. Widowed, actually"
She then read the prophecy aloud: "Marred with the sin of his mother's death, he'll be rejected by blood and kin, not a soul moved by love. Torment will follow and pain will court him. No glory will last, no happiness will stay. The day of his wife's death, he too will perish in the snow, to awaken as the bringer of the world's end. The Barren Abyss will open anew, the demons will find him and recognize him as their Lord, and all shall be bleak"
"What can we do?"
"Kill him, of course"
"We can't kill a child, he's innocent right now"
"He's a mortal, how long can he stay alive? A century at most and he'll die anyway"
Xi Yun explained again: "We can't, didn't you hear it? It will be his death that will mark Tai Sui's return"
Danyin pursed her lips "We need to get ready to fight him again, then"
"The best option is to fight him here, before he can reach the immortal realms" Xunfeng reasoned, already planning the next step.
"Unless we can prevent Tai Sui from taking over" Xi Yun then retold them about Ji Ze's message and the existence of the Evil Bone.
"Why did he tell you that?"
"He asked for my help. He said I'm the only one who ever altered people's Fates and I must try to do so again"
"But immortals are not allowed to tamper with Fate" Danyin reasoned "The consequences..."
"I know, but what else can we do?" Xiao Lanhua sighed.
"Certainly not risking the Three Realms' safety" Shangque nodded "Should Tai Sui come back, it would mean certain disaster"
"What would happen if we didn't allow this mortal to fulfill its fate?" Xunfeng asked, pragmatically.
"His soul could turn to ashes, but it's more likely he would reincarnate and start anew. This wouldn't stop Tai Sui from taking his body anyway, it could either prompt the possession at once or just give him another chance in a short time"
"We'd only delay the inevitable at best, make it faster at worst" Jieli summed up.
"So what? We just let him?"
"Never" Xi Yun replied, grasping hard Dongfang Qingcang's hand. He squeezed back. It had been far too short since he came back, the pain of their parting was still strong in both of them. Neither had any intention of repeating the past, of having to make the same sacrifices, this time with no certainty Tai Sui couldn't see through their plans and prevail with his own plots.
"We have to find a way to destroy the Evil Bone, whatever it may be"
"Who is this Li Susu?"
Xiao Lanhua shook her head "I don't know, I couldn't find any book of destiny with that name. It's possible that this person doesn't exist yet"
"So we can't kill him, nor we can neutralize the Evil Bone until we know how, and we won't know how until we find Li Susu"
A heavy silence fell. It seemed like a no-choices situation.
"We must take the child" Changheng said at last "Bring him somewhere else, away from the causes of his fate, and see if we can do something about this Evil Bone on our own"
"Take him where? In Shuiyuntian?!" Danyin springed up "Would you risk to turn like Rong Hao and Chidi Nuzi? Because that's what will happen..."
Xiao Lanhua bit her lip in contemplation "I think it may work" she said.
"You can't be serious!"
"Xiao Huayao, that's madness"
"Wasn't it madness offering yourself to Tai Sui just to trap him into your Sea of Heart? And yet you made it! To defeat Tai Sui we must take a risk he wouldn't expect us to, and altering his fate is surely one"
"We'll need to know what to change, though" "Just how will he become the Evil God?"
Xiao Lanhua took the book again and opened it. A cold night, snow falling, a young man with sharp features and uncanny gauntness kneeling on the ground, then fainting. Then a red glow and he'd wake up with red irises and a new strength.
"He'll die and then awake again as the Evil God. That's all the book shows me. Whatever will happen, it will be from within him"
"We must avoid that, then. If his early death will be the beginning of it all, we must at least postpone it until we find Li Susu and figure how to destroy the Evil Bone"
"We can do it. Take the child, protect him, make sure he doesn't fall into the Evil God's path, or at least that he knows he shouldn't trust Tai Sui and give up his body..."
"We can't take him to the immortal realms," Danyin repeated "A mortal child raised in Shuiyuntian will be exposed to mockery and ridiculous at best, to hatred at worst, provided Yunzhong dijun won't decide to try his luck and execute him, and that would call on the Evil God quicker"
Xiao Lanhua grimaced at the thought "Danyin's right. You may not know all of it, but they weren't nice to me when they believed I was weak fairy with a damaged immortal root, I can't see a mortal child be treated much better, even with all of us by his side, his fate would be the same here"
"In Xishan, then. Or Changyanhai, as long as he grows up well..."
"Run-lang, it's too much of a gamble, and you're a terrible gambler, if this Danyin can remind you"
A ghost of a smile passed over Changheng, the memory of Xiao Run and his terrible habits now more a fond memory than a reason for embarrassment.
"I believe, if he's raised right, we could steer him in the right direction" was his reasoning "We may not be able to prevent his destiny entirely, but we can postpone it for quite some time, if we play our part well"
"But how?"
"By raising him ourselves, or having the immortal sects handle his education"
"Not the immortal sects. Sooner or later, they'll recognize who he is and could decide it's not worth the risk"
Surprisingly, Xunfeng seemed to agree: "It's not like we have a better plan, so we should take him. Besides, if this one is already destined to become an immortal..."
"Uh?"
"The Evil God is still a god, no? He has a potential for immortality already, other mortals will feel he's different somehow, although they won't be able to tell in what regard. He won't fit among them either way. Isn't that so, a-sao?" he pointed towards the destiny book on the table in the middle of the room.
The Goddess of Xishan nodded, having read it in depth and knowing the mistreatment and pain he'd have to go through at the hands of other mortals. In all honesty, it had hurt her heart to see it, it was a sad and painful destiny, filled with hatred and disappointment, betrayal and loneliness. She too wished to change it, despite the risks, and no, it wasn't only about Tai Sui's possible return.
There was a bit of herself in that mortal book's story - loneliness and mistreatment, growing to become powerful beyond expectations -, and a bit of Dongfang Qingcang - emotionless, raised like an object, separated from anyone when it came to the most important things -, a bit of Jieli and Shangque - orphans and needing to fend off for themselves, going hungry and mistreated at young age -, a bit of Xunfeng and Changheng, even - youngest brothers, always second in line, talented but dismissed for faults not theirs -, and of Danyin too - angry at the world, needing to keep a façade of perfect calm to protect themselves - and taking out the equation all that pain could help a lot that boy not to give in to Tai Sui's tricks.
But would that be enough? Would they be enough? Could they really prevent that dreadful fate just like that?
"Love is the only thing that can change Fate" Dongfang Qingcang recalled at least "Siming said that and we know it's true. We won't have to just raise the child, we'll have to love him. Can we do this?"
A heavy silence fell.
Could they love a monster in the making? Could he love them, in any way or measure? Love each other enough to change fate?
"Oh, what are we discussing about?!" Jieli scoffed "It's a child, a baby, but won't be so for long, we need to get a move or we won't be able to fix anything"
"Jieli..."
"No, here, listen. Shangque and I took in lots of children, and we know how they are, don't we? They grow how they're raised, for the most part. Sure, they all have their character and little things that are unique, but how they are raised does a lot"
Shangque nodded "It is so"
"And if we fail?"
"At least we can say we tried, duh. But if we stay here, discussing like old people having tea without taking action, we'll waste too much time and there will be nothing to do"
"What about letting him stay in the mortal realm, then? The child belongs here, he'll be far from the immortal realms and no one but us will have to know"
"I can do it" Changheng suddenly said.
Dongfang Qingcang rolled his eyes "You can't be serious"
"I got used to live as a mortal, I know the Four Continents well enough thanks to my travels, and I have connections and knowledge, I can raise the boy here and you can visit and help at need"
"But then you will interfere with his mortal destiny directly" Qingcang reminded him "You could shatter your soul, like Chidi Nuzi when she chose to take in Rong Hao"
Changheng's stance didn't change. It was the right thing to do, the best option for everyone.
"It's a risk we have to take, if his destiny is to awaken as the Evil God, no sacrifice will be too much"
"You'll be destroyed!" Danyin almost got up again "The payback will be devastating..."
"If you're certain, we'll all take a part of the burden" Dongfang Qinchang assured. They all turned his way, surprised by the sudden change of route, but the Yuezun must have seen something, or understood something, and his stance was clear.
Xiao Lanhua squeezed his hand, a similar determination in her eyes "Ji Ze asked me directly, and defeating Tai Sui is my responsibility, we won't leave you on your own. And if that will make our demise, so it will be"
"The old gods did the same and gave their lives for the cause. We won't be any less" Shangque affirmed, Jieli nodding by his side.
On his side, Xunfeng tilted his head "So be it"
Danyin looked at the others like they had gone mad, then pursed her lips and straightened her back "Then, our fight starts now. I, Danyin, Goddess of War, declare we will do our outmost to prevent the return of the Evil God"
§ The carriage that brought the captive prince of Jing from his kingdom to Sheng's capital was a barely decent one, good enough for a lesser noble, perhaps, if it had been in pristine conditions, which it wasn't.
It could seem a show of humbleness, sending someone as precious as a prince with such means, but Yue Yingxin knew the truth. The king of Jing had no interest in having his child have any comfort, no matter what. In fact, using the boy as bargaining chip, offering him as captive, was the last show of cruelty from a man who didn't deserve the name of father.
In the best case, Tantai Jin would be graciously hosted in the foreign land, not mistreated or hurt but never free either. In the worst, the king of Sheng would kill the child in retaliation for any slight, imagined or real, coming from Jing.
Unaware of it all, the little boy sat quietly in the uncomfortable carriage, wearing simple clothes that showed none of his noble birth, entertaining himself with a scroll one of the Sheng guards had given him once they took charge at the borders.
The scroll contained the protocol the captive prince would have to follow in Sheng, and the little boy was studying it with the same sharp eyes and attentive mind he did everything.
It was scary how focused such a small child could be, how his questions seemed above his age, how uncanny the look in his eyes was.
Yingxin was terrified of him, and even more so she was terrified of the life awaiting her in Sheng. She wanted to go home, to run away from all that, to curse Lan'an for leaving and not taking her with her, abandoning the child at the first chance.
"Yingxin, what does that one mean?" Jin asked, taking her out her thoughts by pointing at one of the characters. The boy had been barely taught how to read and couldn't recognize most characters, and had been repeating the questions with the same monotone tone and the same gesture multiple times already. At that point, Yingxing mused, she might have well read the whole text to him herself.
She leaned forward to read when the carriage stopped abruptly.
"Have we arrived?" Jin asked, craning his neck to see.
"I don't know, prince" she replied, but the guards fussing outside and the lack of any sounds normal for the outskirts of a city were worrysome.
And then it started all at once: the guards shouting something, the clamor of unsheated weapons, roar of fire and horses whinning in fear as the smell of smoke started to fill the air.
Yinxing realized two things: one, they had been attacked, likely by bandits. Two: Tantai Jin wasn't scared.
Another person, with more experience and less prejudice, would have thought it good that a young boy was not frazzled and she could coax him out and to safety without panic involved, blaming his calm to his lack of knowledge.
Yinxing only thought how dreadful it was that not even an attack could make him feel anything, not even fear for his life.
If the bandits would realize there was nothing to steal - and the appeareance of the child would never made anyone think he was valuable in any way - they'd just kill everyone.
But she didn't know what to. She couldn't fight, nor she had anything to bargain with. The dread filling her more and more prevented her to see that her precious charge had his hands cupped in front of his face, watching a cricket like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
"Yinxing, we have to go" he said at last.
"Go?"
Jin nodded "A bad one attacked, the cricket told me. If we leave now, he won't catch us"
"The cricket...?"
Oh. "Oh, the prince has the Yiyue tribe's gift," she thought with a relief she didn't think she could feel at such moment.
Yinxing let the boy grab her hand and risked looking out the carriage, moving the drape that closed itever so sligthly to see if the way was clear.
Aside from the dead guards, it was. The clamor of the fight was all in the front of the carriage, the way back was free. Weird, but lucky.
The prince, with the cricket on his shoulder, started to climb out and Yinxing followed, sprinting in the woods and away from the fight.
She dared to look back once.
It was enough to freeze her blood and tighten her chest in fear.
What they left behind was in an inferno of fire, blood and fallen men, at the dead center of it a single being stood, horns like vines on its head, and more around his torso, glowing red and engulfed with black smoke, a billowy cape covered in fire yet not burning, and a sword dripping with the blood of the last man it was extracted from only to plunge into another with innatural, perfect martial precision.
A demon. They had been attacked by a demon.
Yinxing almost fainted but forced herself to move forth and run faster, hand in hand with the child who was guiding her, changing directions as if he knew where he was going.
He was, in fact, following the cricket's directions. He wasn't sure what had happened. He registered the odd smell and sounds, the worry coming from his nanny, and little more.
But, unused to run as he was, on top of his fragile, malnourished body, he got tired soon. On the grass of unknown woods - as if he ever knew any woods before - his legs gave in and he fell over.
He would have stopped moving, had a thin, almost imperceptible voice near his ear not whispered: "Get up and run, young one, run away! Don't let the demon catch you!"
Faintly, shaking like a leaf, he tried to but couldn't manage, and fell limp on the ground, unconscious.
Yinxing was hit by a thought. A truly horrible one, but one nevertheless.
If she left him there, she'd have better chances at running away. Everyone would assume they both had died in the demon's attack, no one would look for a miserable nanny, a mere servant wouldn't be worth a search, especially if they found the prince there...
She could be free, go home, like Lan'an. Or another place.
She could... she could....
[In one universe, she did. Left him on the ground, ignored the guilt, ran for her life. Or rather, to her death. Her original destiny was, after all, to die after betraying and forsaking her charge. It just happened faster, that time around, with less pain, without going mad, without wounding him by her own hands with a cursed sword. She'd be found at the bottom of a ditch, a week later, body broken by the fall. But this isn't that story]
She went back on her steps and picked up the child, hugging the tiny frame close to her chest, as she had done a million times. And then she ran.
It wasn't a long sprint, anyway. The clamor of the fight was gone, left behind, by the time she got near a river and nothing more than the sounds of the forest and the running water could be heard.
Yinxing let herself collapse to the ground, next to a massive tree. They weren't out of danger, they never would be for good, but she was too tired to go on.
She lied the prince next to her, slumped on the trunk, and let herself drift off.
§
They had escaped the demon, but he was hungry and hurt, chilled to the bones in a way he had not felt even in the Cold Palace.
It was then that he heard the cold voice the first time. But he was too dizzy and hurt to understand what it was saying. It was talking for sure, something about being abandoned and miserable, that such would be his destiny, but the child cared not.
Then, as quickly as it came, the voice was gone and so was the dark landscape under his eyelids, replaced by a gentle, warm light.
"Here you are" someone said, a woman, her voice gentle beyond his every expectation. It was the kindest tone he ever heard, a stark contrast with the cold voice.
He opened his eyes, heavy as they felt, and saw a beautiful lady with golden flowers in her hair and kind eyes, smile to him. She put a warm hand on his chilled face and he immediately felt better.
Someone picked him up from the ground, not the lady, as she still had her hand on his forehead. A faint smell of flowers joined with one of smoke and jasmine, more warmth added to the mix. Hushed voices he couldn't tell apart whispered around him, none unkind nor cold.
He fell in a peaceful slumber, feeling safe and warm for the first time in his life.
§
"How is he?" Changheng asked. He had picked the boy from the ground and was surprised by how little he weighted. He was small even for a mortal child, pale and thin in a way that told of hardships older than the current day's events.
Xiao Lanhua retreated her hand from his forehead "He's weak but not ill, nothing some good food and lots of rest can't fix"
"We almost lost him"
"I know, when he fainted I worried I couldn't use the cricket to guide him to us anymore" Danyin retold "But we have him now and it's all that matters"
Xunfeng gestured with his head towards the nanny "Should we keep the servant too?"
"We'll let her choose" Changheng replied "I could use a hand with childcare, Jieli and Shangque can't stay here in the mortal realms too long, as can't any of you, given your duties. Besides, he grew up with her, a familiar face will do him good"
"Or not" Xiao Lanhua muttered, refusing to elaborate. Nevertheless, she went to check the woman's state, finding nothing but fatigue and, like the child, lack of nourishment.
It had been a suffered decision, to make an ambush like that. They didn't want to accidentally restart the just-ended war between the kingdoms of Sheng and Jing, but they couldn't let Tantai Jin be taken in as hostage and suffer as much as he would. It was bad enough that they couldn't help him in his first years of life, those times would become scars they couldn't remedy to, they couldn't allow it to go further, if they wanted to prevent the end of the world.
Fine, it wasn't the only reason.
Xiao Lanhua was transparent enough they all knew she was genuinely pained at the thought of what the mortal boy would have to go through according to his set destiny, but none of them understood to what extent until they witnessed it in person, when they snuck in the Jing palace to see him the first time.
The place he lived in, the way even servants shunned him, how he had to catch fish from the pond barehanded or dig in the kitchen's scraps in secret just to eat, all the mistreatment and mockery from adults and children alike, chilled them all to the bone.
Jieli and Shangque who knew poverty and hunger, whose thoughts went to the children of their orphanage and compared even the worst of them had had it better when they found them.
Xiao Lanhua and Danyin, who knew mockery and mistreatment, albeit from different steps of the social ladder, and knew the emotional scars that came from it all.
Dongfang Qingcang and Xunfeng who, even with the knowledge of their father's wrongdoings, could still remember the old Yuezun being a loving parent and wondered how could the king of Jing be so unreasonably cruel with his own son.
Changheng too, who grew without a mother, with an absent father too busy to even see him, with a tyrannical brother with a cruel streak and yet never as malicious to him as the older princes of Jing were to their youngest brother. Changheng who had witnessed the ugly parts of Shuyuntian and yet couldn't fathom how much worse a prince's life could be.
Hearing the news the third prince was to be sent away made the plan form itself. Demons were a common enemy for mortals, making everyone believe a demon was the cause for the disappeareance of the hostage would be a perfect way to have no blame on either kingdom, as long as it happened in Sheng.
Dongfang Qingcang had had great fun playing the role, if the spring in his steps and the pleased smile he sported when he joined them was any indication. It had been centuries since he could terrify someone properly and, although his worst tendencies had been abated, he still relished in scaring others.
He had not killed anyone, as per his wife's request, since death would have altered those mortals' destinies for good, but hit with clinical precision to incapacitate and stun all guards while giving Danyin the time to goad the child out the carriage and to them.
Simple enough.
The maid had been a surprise, none of them imagined the boy would have dragged her with him. Out of reflex or imitation of the care he received, it was a good sign for their task. Nor Xiao Lanhua expected Yingxing to help the little prince and not run for her life.
They left the forest soon, the idea was to reach a nearby town and pretend they found the child by accident. Knowing no one would be looking for him too soon, as it would take at least a day for Sheng's palace to be informed and start the search, they would leave the kingdom before the following dawn, never to be seen there anymore.
Or such was the plan.
#tteotm/lbfad crossover#My writing#it's long and unedited so please be nice#if you see issues just tell me#especially with the chinese terms I tried to use#I may just decide to translate everything in plain eng and stop#but I feel some of the original terms carry a better meaning#and so does a little of the grammar structure#so idk yet#till the end of the moon#love between fairy and devil#I forgot to tag them at first and then I was surprised this didn't show in the main tags#I'm an idiot LOL
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all the rise boys get done dirty on characterization by fandom in different ways i think. (not ALL the time every fanwork etc etc these are just like, trends i tend to notice?) every fandom suffers from losing character nuance.
- leo i’ve talked about plenty on this blog, how some of his canon traits (genuine belief in his skill and cockiness, capacity for joy, his manipulativeness whether for good or ill) seem to get watered down or wiped off the board and supplemented with generic sad boy. his struggles with purpose and identity and not wanting to fail somehow morph into “he hates and completely holds no value for himself”
- donnie’s canon personality gets blurred out and largely replaced with whatever list of Neurodivergent Traits. and i think there’s such a fine line to walk between exploring a character that’s been word of god confirmed as on the spectrum and overwriting what’s canonically there. it’s a hard needle to thread. it also feels like a lot of his canon emotiveness gets left off the table for some reason. bc he does have his moments of flat/deadpan delivery, but a lot of the time he’s honestly very emotive. he has the passion of a theatre kid and the vindictiveness of... also a theatre kid. and the mind of a scientist.
- raph loses so much of his rowdy teen boy energy it’s kind of wild? like interpretations sand off that he’s also impulsive and can be reckless and dumb and LOVES fighting and roughhousing and isn’t the most eloquent person. suddenly there’s this pitch perfect soft boy big bro who would never hurt a fly and always says the exact right supportive thing and singlehandedly raised his 3 brothers (which simultaneously sands off all the nuance of splinter’s issues emotionally connecting with his sons and how that affected all of them). and like i LOVE raph, he’s so full of love and care and anxiety, he clearly has learned to put a lot of work into being aware of his strength and size. but there’s a difference you know?
- mikey is like. where raph gets overparentified by fanon, mikey gets over “family therapist”-ed IMO. the impulsiveness, the goofiness, the powerful emotions including a VERY powerful temper, the flat-out dumb teen boy choices... they get ignored. suddenly there’s this only very sweet and earnest boy who has read a hundred psychology books and runs group family therapy weekly or something. he is crying in his room bc leo and raph are arguing about something. which is so. he IS very sweet and can be very earnest and is full of love! he HAS come in with his opinions and unsolicited advice a couple of times and life coached for the greater good. but there’s a difference between what he does in canon and the role he gets in fanon.
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#idk this is not a very eloquent rundown its very hard to explain exactly my vibe#ig the long story short is i feel like a lot of their most interesting and fun qualities get left in the dust#mikey as family therapist is getting under my skin the most rn i think its just so.#for as much as it seems like his brothers try to shelter him (esp raph with his overprotectiveness)..... i just dont see it#i dont see his brothers and definitely not his dad putting their issues on him like that...#him dragging donnie into that one dr feelings session and dragging draxum into a new moral alignment were different#than 'yeah everyone tells mikey their stuff and he has to do the labor of helping with it'#like it just doesnt vibe for me#i think he is very emotionally OPEN on all levels compared to his family#i think he is more likely to share when HE struggles#i dont think raph or leo is sitting with him at 3am like 'it all started when i was 4 and accidentally broke a plate' or what have you idk#it's all so ymmv i do just scroll past stuff i dont vibe with i dont drop hate on it i just#idk dudes its so hard to see the appeal in some of the choices made
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finally giving fem danyal her own au and fulfilling my 'danny is an animal whisperer' agenda at the same time: mother of monsters danyal 2.0
i say "2.0" because TECHNICALLY 'mother of monsters danyal' is an au I made back in June for Dark fem!Danyal (who I promptly named Layal). However, I haven't posted much for her yet, and I like the "mother of monsters" premise too much to leave it only to Layal. Plus Danyal in that au was going to become the mother of monsters anyway, just with significantly less world domination and mass extinction.
'Animal whisperer' Danny has been something I've been thinking about since my latest DP 'wolfpack au' post and it's! So fun to think about, and who no better to assign the idea to than Danyal Al Ghul? Who comes from a family infamously known for their love of animals and nature?
Fem Danyal is just purely self-indulgent. *gestures wildly at her* i just lomvb,,, her,,,, I've only really mentioned her in context of the 'Things in Threes' au/my first Danyal al Ghul au with the facial scar, but she's!!! I love her. She deserves her own au <33
So kill three birds with one stone! Make a post about it.
Anyways, Danny has a large lair. Similar to cult leader danyal, her lair is a giant mountain region resembling nanda parbat with a big temple/palace-like area built into the mountain. It's large, it's overflowing with natural flora, with its own mini-floating islands hovering over some areas, and it's also completely empty.
Danny takes one look at her lair upon first meeting, -- noting that it looked relatively smaller from the outside -- and promptly, with the elegance of an Al Ghul, goes "What the hell??" Because yes, while she does enjoy her own solitude and privacy, this is a bit ridiculous.
For heaven's sake, there's even a massive lake in there! What's she going to do with all this space? Can she make it any smaller? Why is it so big in the first place? This looks borderline like one of the mega-islands!
She finds out later that apparently, the amount of ectoplasm a ghost has can have an effect on the size of their lair. And since she has such a large core, her lair reflects that. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, it's bigger on the inside so it doesn't take up "too much space" on the outside. Don't worry about it too much.
Danyal isn't totally opposed to having such a large lair, she's just... a bit baffled by it. It feels like so much wasted space is all. All this flora and no fauna to enjoy it with. It's practically eerie.
She decorates her temple-palace area, transforming rooms to match her needs as she sees fit. In the center of the inner gardens is a massive tree that she likes to climb, with twisting, winding branches. Sam and Tucker have honorary rooms, even if they can't safely leave the specter speeder for long periods of time, even with proper safety equipment. So does Jazz. Ali (Dani) has one too, but he can actually use that one, and Danny brought him to her lair so he could decorate it himself.
She has a personal garden, but for the most part she lets the flora exist as it is. Too much space to cultivate it en masse anyways.
Skip to a few weeks later, on her next visit to Clockwork. She developed a habit of going to see him semi-regularly just because. She enjoys his wisdom, and he has a lot of stories to tell, and when he's not being the cryptic and esoteric timekeeper, he's a bit goofy.
(pushing my dadwork agenda here,,, i think Danny deserves to go 'hey, Lord Clockwork, do you want me to buy you something' while she's at walmart, only to receive a singular glowing sticky note that says 'cucumber gatorade'.)
(She insists on referring to him with his proper titles even for the most mundane of things because it's proper, but Clockwork sees a future where she eventually calls him "Cee" and by all things in existence is he determined to get there. Anyways,,,)
On her next visit to Clockwork, just as she is about to leave, Clockwork stops her and goes; "Ah, I have something for you. Hold out your hands."
Danny does as such, and Clockwork doesn't give out things often, so her curiosity has spiked to the highest levels. He turns away from her for a moment, using his staff to summon whatever it is he needs, and when he turns around.
He drops a fish into her hands. Granted, a fish in a small glass tank. But a fish nonetheless. A small one, roughly about the size of her finger, with a blue-black, eel-shaped body and four sets of glowing eyes. She can see thin, almost translucent, but spiny fins down its back and the start of bioluminescent markings. It's swimming around in circles in its small container.
"Lord Clockwork." Danyal says all too calmly.
"Yes, Danyal?"
"What is this?"
"That is an adolescent leviathan, Danyal." She’s transfixed onto the tank, but she doesn’t need to see Clockwork’s face to hear the smile he’s stifling.
The myriad of emotions that runs through her all at once threatens to overwhelm her, and she can’t tell if the feelings are negative or positive. So she carefully closes her eyes to breathe in through her nose.
“Clockwork.”
“Ah, I see you’ve dropped formalities.”
She ignores that.
“Why have you given me an adolescent leviathan?”
She's expecting the trickster to look amused when she opens her eyes. Instead, he just looks endeared. "I know you're fond of animals," he says, "and you always look amazed when you come across an animal of the realms. So I thought you might enjoy taking care of the young beast, it's mother is dead so it has no one to care for it."
Oh.
"But, if you don't like it," Clockwork's hands reach out for the tank, "I can simply take it back--"
Danyal shifts the tank out from his reach and hugs it possessively. "I never said that. How do I care for it?"
And so clockwork gives her a list, and when Danyal returns to her lair, she sets up a large tank in her room for the leviathan to swim in -- it's much too small for the lake right now, she thinks. She'll feel better if it's somewhere she can find it. She names him Suhā.
Suhā grows quickly, and by the end of the mortal month she transforms one of the rooms into a large pond for him to swim around in. He's a very loyal beast, recognizing her as it's mother of some kind. Danyal takes great care ensuring that her beastie gets quality care, and Suhā swims to the surface to see her when he senses her in the room.
It spirals from there. Somehow, Pandora catches wind that Clockwork gave her a leviathan, and so the next time Danyal visits the Greater Athens, she gives her a baby chimera. It's eyes are still sealed shut, Danyal can't bring herself to say no. She names the little beastie Firas.
Frostbite hears about it too, and not to be outdone, gives her an animal she's never even heard of. Infinite-realms born, apparently. A fox-like creature with two small horns like an impala, four eyes, and tall legs. The name isn't something she's quite sure how to write down, and she's positive that her friends won't be able to comprehend it. She names her Eira.
Getting the three of them used to each other was... interesting. Suhā tried to eat Firas when Danyal first introduced the two, and they've hated each other ever since. Firas and Eira are seemingly getting along. Her island already feels full enough with the three of them on it.
Of course, that's not the end of it. With her luck, she begins stumbling across other monsters. Realms-borne or otherwise. An injured hydra in the Grecian islands that, through lots of trial and error, Danyal is able to rehabilitate and heal. It routinely comes to visit her afterwards.
A griffin with a broken wing that she moves permanently to the island that likes to keep to itself, but tends to come down when she's near. It gets along best with Firas.
A panther-like monster from the Shades Woods that had six legs and three tails, with ends that reminded her of a venus flytrap. It stuck around the heavy foliage and she can only make out where it was when she saw its golden eyes reflect.
She befriends a young indrik with its leg injured, and much like the hydra it follows her back to her island, and stays there in the mountains. It comes out when she's alone, much like her other beasts.
She receives two more leviathan -- one from clockwork, and one she finds herself while exploring the deeper and darker recesses of the Ghost Zone. It was huddled against the carcass of its mother, and she managed to befriend and get close enough to it to bring it back to her island. Suhā is fully grown by then, with a head bigger than Danyal herself and he still likes to stick her head out of the water for nuzzles when she's near.
He's not very happy with his new siblings, but he's not trying to eat them when she's not looking. So she calls it a win in her book.
And it's not just large beasts either; smaller animals begin popping up when she's not looking. Bird-like creatures and small mammals, and she swears she saw a doe (or something resembling a doe) grazing in the forest while she was walking by.
She takes back with her a lone snake egg once, and it grows so big it wraps around her island and sleeps with its massive head on the mountain beside the temple, like some smaller breed of Jörmungandr.
And on and on it goes. Some of the beasts she comes across never step foot onto her island, some of them follow her back, while others she has to carry back. Not all of the ones that follow her stay, and Danny rehabilitates the injured and releases them when they're fully healed.
It's hectic, and busy, and frankly she loves it. Some of her rehabilitated beasts return to visit her, or to have their children somewhere on the island, or whatever it is they need to do.
She becomes a bit infamous for it. She goes to visit Dorathea once, and as she's walking through the streets she can hear some of the denizens whispering while she walks past.
"Is that her?"
"Her highness' friend? Yes--"
"--that's the one--"
"--Mother of monsters--"
Danny's not sure how to feel about that.
Although, she can't say she's opposed.
Danyal Al Ghul, Mother of monsters, raiser of beasts. It has a nice ring to it.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc prompt#fem danny fenton#fem danyal al ghul#mother of monsters danny#if anyone wants to hear about Layal specifically I'd be HAPPY to tell you about her. she's inspired by the song 'scylla' from epic#you can't leave me with dark danny for too long i give him depth if i do. anyways i gave layal mommy issues. she has a complicated view on#danyal and both loves and hates her in equal measure. she killed her out of mercy. she's her mother her sister her other half.#she despises her. she misses her. she'll never see her again. she sees her every time she looks in the mirror. she's 24. she's 10 years old#can you tell that i made layal during a time where i was thinking about the 'dan is danny's kid' dpdc trope bc that's exactly what happened#*holds dad!clockwork up like potato.* 'i just think he's neat :)'#i am incapable of making things only cracky. i must make it meaningful in some way or another.#MMMM i have to cut it off here before it gets too looooNNGGG.#if this flops i'll be sad :((#i just think the idea that danyal has her own little world on her island is neat. she's got dragons and wyrms and serpents and giant wolves#and griffins and one time there's a sphinx although she doesn't stay permanently. Danyal has a blast answering her riddles though.#that panther is based off the dnd displacer beast. there's little salamanders and gazelles with three eyes. there's more sea monsters than#just suhā and the other two leviathans but i couldnt think of any. im obsessed with the sea serpents if you havent notice LMFAO.#there's pegasi and a manticore and a ton of infinite realms monsters that are just an assortment of animals slapped together#the shades woods are a mega-island idea that i had. they're where a bunch of the “shades ghosts” are from. Its this large forest area with#megaflora trees similar to the redwood forest with canopies so thick and wide that no light can reach the bottom. so all of the native faun#living there have adapted to live in the shadows. there are a few villages that live in tall tree houses like the ewok villages that outsid#ghosts can go visit. the panther that's from there is very fond of danyal honestly. anyways yEAH ANIMAL WHISPERER DANNY.#her beasties are all animals up until she's like. 19. where she promptly steals an infant minotaur from a Legends Islands near Pandora#he wasn't being treated well okay!!! she couldn't stand by and watch. his name is asterion. he's a year old. and she'll kill for him.#i dont have enough tags to talk about Damian or her family >:T. just know that i am leaning into her assassin bg as usual :)
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I know the decision to have Julian's parents have him augmented was made on the fly but imo its pretty obvious from early on that Julian has Family Issues because he avoids talking about his family like the plague and I think they should've incorporated this into the Julian and Sisko dynamic right from early on because I think it would've made for some really compelling stories and moments and could've set up a REALLY interesting Julian and Jake dynamic which they kinda started to do but never fully went for
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#benjamin sisko#jake sisko#s1 Julian being so young and eager to prove himself and latching onto Sisko as this mentor figure to look up to#seeing Sisko with Jake and low-key seeking that fatherly figure connection which he won't even let himself think about#Sisko seeing this young brilliant doctor who's got all the makings to be something great and he's just GOTTA help him along#I think he would also catch on pretty quick that Julian's got Parental Issues#he tries to ask one day all casual like 'tell me about yourself :)' and Julian talks about nothing but Starfleet and med school#any attempts to ask about his family are met with awkward brief answers and redirections#and then theres the way Julian's eyes light up the first time Sisko invites him to watch a baseball game#like he Knows. he's a dad he Knows somethings up#but he doesnt pry#I also think it makes their dynamic more tragic towards the end of the series#where we have Sisko asking Julian to compromise his morals again and again#Julian's trust and respect for him gradually deteriorating#and then at the end of course Sisko is gone and they have no idea when he'll be back#which I think Julian would have a lot of complicated feelings about#but of course theres also Jake#I imagine they'd get closer#very brotherly dynamic#you know that scene in TNG where Wesley goes to Riker for girl advice and Riker and Guinan start flirting?#absolutely happens but with Jake asking Julian for girl advice and Julian wooing a girl at Quark's and Jake absolutely loses the plot#makes the events of ...Nor the Battle to the Strong more intense as well I think#also I like to think there'd be an episode where the B plot is Jake gets mad at Sisko and impulsively decides to move out#ends up at Julian's because he did not think this through#Julian is now very much caught in the middle of this family drama and he Fucking Hates It#also him and Jake are NOT compatible roommates but he's trying so so hard to be nice#eventually they have a talk and Julian cryptically hints at his own home life and tells Jake he's lucky he has a dad who cares so much#them being closer would work into what Alone Together sets up for them
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shes finally coming together!! still got a bunch of hand work to do on the blouse and corset, and of course, style the wig, but annes gonna be ready for mcm next weekend!
#nyxtalks#nyx sews#ofmd#anne bonny cosplay#mcm london#ha honestly feeling. so unconfident about this right now#the pants r def. mid. i keep telling myself theyre the best i could do and other such things but i feel like. they let the side down n just#make the whole thing look eh#you cant see a lot of the issues bc of how im stood but. theyre there#gonna go back to making skirts foreverrrrrrr#(also the boots being darker DOES annoy me. ill weather them up at some point before i wear her again i think)#anyway sorry for the complaining i know nobody else sees the issues i doooooo#onto wig styling i guess
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Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Seasons 1-3 » T-shirts
#Ted Lasso#Theodore Lasso#Jason Sudeikis#*mine: gif#tedlassoedit#ugh you idiot with that face#stop staring at me swan#I think I got all the T-shirt moments for Ted. Can you guess the two scenes I forgot and had to go back and add???#I've also kept these in order of season/episode appearance and it feels kind of telling#not quite sure how I'm feeling about these and how they turned out#these are all from 2160p video files (I've only worked with 2160 one other time) and the timing of these frames looks off#I did my best to fix and readjust them#to the 5 to 8 people that read these tags let me know if I should keep trying/working with 2160p or just stick with 1080p#can we see a major difference in the image quality? I'm using all my same edit settings here#@chainofclovers I saw your tags about the black Joe Arthur shirt I was/have been thinking the same thing#I'm glad I got my o.g. laptop to power up to finish this gifset (definitely a power button issue)#will I ever make that mirror gifset idea??? probably not but I got a couple of mirror moments here#I almost used the other mirror moment from episode 7 but I wanted a different angle/view#this gifset could've been a lot more of Ted in bed wearing T-shirts tbh#¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Crush Gossip
*slides in with a grin* I am here and we are here for a special installment. @spotaus get in here friend!
Blue centered drabble :D
Just as promised :3
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
*-------------------------*
Blue moves the cleaned plates towards the cabinet before returning to the sink. He puts the whiskey glasses in and starts washing them carefully. He really enjoyed the night and their little gyftmas celebration.
Even if some aspects could have gone better. Or not happened at all.
Blue loves Dream. He really loves his best friend. But Dream needs to stop trying to help him by getting Ink to notice him.
It is fine.
A yawn and Blue doesn’t look away from the water “You are up early.”
His brother yawns as he joins his side “You are up early.” He sounds grumpy “You are already finished cleaning?”
Blue nods as he takes care to wash the smaller glasses “Of course. I know how to handle my liquor.” And he shoots Stretch a grin before frowning “Don’t you want to sleep in? Alphys will oversleep today so not notice you skipping work for a bit and Chara isn’t meant to arrive until a few days.”
Stretch huffs unhappily “Yeah yeah I know.” he yawns again as he leans against the counter as he ignores what Blue said to ask his own question “Dream and Ink out already?”
Blue shrugs “Yeah. Dream had to go again or Core would locate him again… and Ink… Well I am pretty sure Ink left midway through the party.” Blue saw how ink had checked his phone before quickly tugging his phone away and packing his things and leaving.
It stung a little.
Stretch nods as he takes the towel before waiting for Blue to finish the first glass so he can dry “It was nice to have them over.”
Blue laughs and nods “It was great!” he smiles.
Stretch chuckles before toying with the first glass “sorry it didn’t… work with Ink.”
Blue pauses before shrugging “It is fine. It isn’t like it is a surprise.” Blue had already known there was no interest anyway.
Stretch frowns at him “Blue… I know you… I know you were excited to have Ink over. You are allowed to feel disappointed.”
Blue sighs as he gives the next glass over “It isn’t a big deal” he rushes to wash the other glasses.
Stretch frowns at him “I disagree… Blue you-”
Blue pushes the last glass into his hands “There! All clean! If you can finish that up I will go to quickly fix our puzzles!”
Stretch doesn’t make a move to dry the glasses “You just said Alphys will sleep in anyway and not notice.”
Blue nods as he puffs his chest “Doesn’t mean I have to skip too! You enjoy your morning! Make sure to drink a lot of water and you know where the medicine is and-” and Blue gets stopped by magic by the front door.
Damnit he is blue now.
Stretch speaks calmly “Blue. I want to talk about this. Now.”
Blue sighs but doesn’t fight the magic and let it guide him to the couch. Stretch puts the glasse son the drying rack and joins him.
Stretch leans back against the couch “So… the mistletoe… Did Dream tell you he was planning that?”
Blue groans and shakes his skull “No… I didn’t even realise Dream added that with decorating… I found out when he pushed us under it and pointed it out.” he rubs his cheek “If I had known I would have removed it.”
Stretch nods as he leans back “Why? I thought you like Ink?”
Blue sighs as he waves his hands “I do! But it is more complicated than it just being a matter of me liking him!”
Stretch nods along and waits as he looks at him expectingly.
Blue stares at him before crossing his arms “Ink blocked my number… I don’t know why.”
Stretch looks shocked “But I thought you two were friends?”
Blue rolls up more “We are… I don’t understand why… I wasn’t even asking anything out of the ordinary or weird. Just asked him how he was doing and if he wanted to hang out with Dream and me… When I didn’t get a reply for a few hours I send him another message to ask if he was busy. Only to get an automated message back stating the number I was trying to reach had me blocked.” It was a thing they all agreed on with the multiverse phones. That if you blocked someone they should be able to know. Mostly because if it is an emergency so you don’t waste your time with messaging someone who won’t ever see your messages.
Stretch frowns “Yet… he came to the party?”
Blue shrugs “Just because Dream asked…” Dream had asked for Blue but Blue wouldn’t be surprised if Ink just wanted to come because of Dream. Blue can’t really blame him for that either. Dream is a god like Ink. And Blue is… well very mortal.
Stretch leans back “huh… strange.”
Blue sighs “Not that strange. Dream can be very convincing when he wants to be.” Which is putting it mildly.
Stretch laughs and nods “I noticed… No the strange thing is that if Ink really didn’t want to be near you he wouldn’t have gone to a private Gyftmas party in your universe.” Stretch raises a brow “Sure he has a bad memory but he should know that at least.”
Blue frowns and shrugs “I guess… I just think he wanted to be near Dream.” Which he honestly isn’t mad about. Disappointed maybe but not mad. It isn’t like it is Dream’s fault and Dream is really trying to get Ink and him to hang out. It isn’t Dream’s fault if Ink prefers to be near him over Blue.
Stretch hums “I guess.” He shoots him a curious look “Why do you even like him?”
Blue groans as he searches for the words “It is hard to explain? I don’t even know when I started to feel like this. At first I just admired him I guess? He was a protector. Of the multiverse at that. It was just… He was what I wanted to be. Someone who did good and protect people. And then I learned he didn’t just protect others but also made more worlds? He was just… He was just the coolest person and I admired him and then I got the chance to travel with him and Dream and I just… those feelings got so much more when I got to know him.”
Stretch snorts “How? He almost destroyed our world… Why like him still?”
Blue frowns as he rubs his arm “I guess… I guess it made him look like just any other person… someone who can make mistakes. He felt more real to me after that. It also helps he helped clean up that mess and made sure our world came back the way it was meant to be.” Blue sighs as he rubs his hands “Him and Dream… After you they were the only ones who believed I could do this thing. That I could protect people and everything.” Blue doesn’t know when exactly he started to feel what he feels for Ink.
Stretch hums before groaning “It is just… You are so out of his league!”
Blue blinks and stares at Stretch “What do you mean? He is a god! I am me.”
Stretch nods “Exactly! He needed all those godly powers and stuff to do what he does. You don’t. You are amazing all on your own Blue. You always believe the best in people and believe everyone deserves another chance. You are willing to look past mistakes, the situation with Ink even proves that. You are always willing to help others. You don’t believe in killing anyone but will protect those who need it. Blue you are an amazing person. And I just can’t see how you could like Ink and why you are afraid you aren’t good enough for him.”
Blue feels so embarrassed. It isn’t as if Stretch never compliments him. Hell he always says he is the most amazing every other day. But that felt more like… brothers just being supportive. This feels like more. Maybe just because it is about Ink?
Blue mutters “It doesn’t matter… He hasn’t wanted to hang out with me alone for ages now…” he sighs as he crosses his arms and lays them on his legs to try and relax.
Stretch frowns as he thinks “Maybe he… remembered what he did and feels guilty?”
Blue huffs as he looks to the side “He would have to choice to feel that. He needs his paints to feel… Look I knew from the start this crush was hopeless okay?” he hugs his legs closer “And it isn’t his fault he can’t feel like normal monsters can… or that he lacks a soul… I don’t blame him for any of that. That would be stupid. I know he has no interest in me like that…” it is why Blue feels so bad about Dream trying to help set them up.
Blue laughs as he rubs his socket as he feels the itch “If he likes anyone it would be Dream as Dream used to be able to make him feel things at least a little… Now however? I don’t know.” he lays his cheek on his leg.
Stretch frowns before nudging their shoulders together “Well… We can’t know either way. They are gods. Hell if we know what their reasoning is.” He smiles “Maybe he is just busy or distracted? And he accidentally blocked your number?”
Blue shrugs but lets himself lean against his taller younger brother “I guess.”
Stretch hums as he leans his skull on top of his “My point still stands. You are allowed to be disappointed.”
Blue shrinks in on himself “It is just stupid. I knew it was never going to work… Even if he felt anything for me it wouldn’t work as he is a god and I am not.” And he doesn’t want to be an outcode. He can’t give up his world and brother. He already almost lost both once before and he can’t deal with that. “It is just…” he feels sad “I just thought maybe he wanted to send some time with me… that we could just enjoy some time together as friends. But I guess even that isn’t that important to him anymore. Maybe it never was.”
Stretch leans heavily on top of him “You don’t know what he is thinking Blue. Maybe he really is just very busy with god stuff. Don’t you always say that you can’t assume what other people are thinking?”
Blue feels embarrassed but nods “I do… It is just… hard sometimes…” It just makes him feel worse for not being able to follow his own advice.
Stretch hums “Why not tell Dream? That you appreciate his help but know it isn’t going anywhere?”
Blue sighs and mutters “Because I did but Dream doesn’t believe in anything being impossible.” Stupid gods and their meddling.
Stretch laughs “I can imagine. Why not tell him it bothers bothers you?”
Blue shrugs and mutters “I don’t want to worry him. He is already dealing with a lot and well… It isn’t like a stupid hopeless crush is that bad of a situation…”
Stretch hums “I guess…” He thinks for a moment before grinning “Wanne see if we can meet up with the others? Just the six of us to explore some unsuspecting universe?”
Blue blinks and grins at Stretch “Seriously?”
Stretch grins and shrugs “Paps and I haven’t bothered Edge into relaxing for a while. It will be good for that stick in the mud.” He grins.
Blue blinks before nodding “Yes.”
Stretch grins as he pulls out his phone and starts texting “You get dressed. I will start up the machine.” And he blinks out of view.
Blue goes to his room and gets dressed. His hands pausing on which bandana to wear. His hand hovers over the grey one with beautiful blue details. He had gotten that in a present the year before and Blue never figured out who gave it to him. He had hoped that… well it doesn’t matter now. Blue quickly grabs his normal blue bandana and rushes down to meet up with his brother.
Stretch grins as he holds up his phone “I got confirmation from everyone that everyone is down. Sans is setting up the coordinates for us already and Edge is bringing snacks.”
Blue smiles as he wiggles in place. It will be nice to just enjoy some time with his dear friends. Just to take his mind of his hopeless love life.
Hell maybe he, Edge and Paps can go clubbing! That has been a while and will be nice to relax and let go a bit.
The machine starts up and a beautiful green portal opens. Stretch and him step through to enjoy a day out.
*-------------------------*
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
#utmv#realageau#Swap Sans#Blue Sans#swap Papyrus#Stretch Papyrus#Blue has some issues with his crush#He knows it is silly to like someone who is soulless but sadly you can't pick who you like.#Blue honestly has accepted it but is just a bit sad about it.#He also gets why a god wouldn't be interested in him.#Dream does not agree. blue is the best and by the gods dream is going to make ink see this#Stretch meanwhile doesn't get WHY blue even likes ink :/ guy is a mess and a half and that is stretch saying it#So stretch decided to take Blue on a trip to their OG friends and the six of them are going to relax and have fun.#In my heart original Tale Fell and Swap will always be besties#No the groups don't understand why they like hanging out so much and why the friendship works.#Waht else... oh right!#Ink: ... what do i do?#Error: Why do you ask me?! he is your friend! Just message him!#ink: I cant :/#error sighs: why not?#ink: ... i blocked his number.#error: ... WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!#ink: I panicked!! How do i explain i suddenly feel stuff slightly now that i am like god ascended?!#Error: .... just tell him?!#ink: I can't! He already doesn't want to be Dream's acolyte. Dream's! You know. His bestie?! Why would he even hang with me after my messes#Error just so done with all the dramas he gets mixed up in. He wants to watch them. not be involved.
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look guys i very strongly disagree with the "trans men hold privilege over trans women" point of view and i'm finally able to articulate why:
I think trans men don't hold privilege over trans women, because privilege is kind of a consistent thing.
Like, bear with me: I'm an abled person. I have privilege in relation to disabled people. Because, if me and a disabled person are in a Situation where this distinction is relevant in some way...I'm literally never gonna come out with the worst hand. Never. No matter what the situation is. This is a consistent fact.
Now, when we talk about different transgender identities, I think this gets more shady, because the "who has privilege in relation to who" is a relative statement. One example I saw of people explaining why in their view trans man have privilege over trans women is kind of like this: Imagine there are two passing and stealth trans people, a trans man and a trans woman, in a workplace. Then, it comes a coworker, being blatanly misogynist. Regardless of their views on trans people, in this situation, the trans woman is gonna get the worst of it, in relation to the trans man, because he will be viewed as a man.
It makes sense, and I don't think this hypothetical situation is inaccurate or anything, but I'd also like to point out why it doesn't work as a good point to why transmascs have privilege over transfems. Imagine we change about any variable in this situation. Let's say the trans woman is closeted as a guy, and the trans man is openly transgender. The misogynist coworker then would very much target the trans man in their points, especially if they are particularly transphobic. Now imagine both of them are out and openly trans, with the bonus that now both the man and the woman are gnc. Depending on other specifics, the misoginyst coworker might be bigoted to just one or both of them.
Like, do you see? In different situations, the different trans people have the worst hand. So that doesn't mean that because of the first case, trans men have it generally better. Because there are many kinds of trans men, and simply not all of them have privilege over trans women. In some cases, they might even have it worse precisely because they are trans man. So the privilege the trans man in the first example has is not a consistent thing over trans man! Maybe it's common, I don't know, but when we compare it with someone who has real privilege, like me, an abled person, I ain't ever encounter myself in a situation where I'm having it worse because I am abled in comparison to someone who is disabled.
That's why I think trans woman and trans men simply don't hold privilege over one another, simply because it varies. It depends on who the trans men and women are, it depends in what situation they are in, it depends on the people around them, it depends of so much!!! So saying that trans men have privilege over trans women sounds simply surreal!
I think that, also, the different patterns of the situations in which trans woman have it worse are important to be discussed, and that's why we have the word Transmisoginy, to discuss these issues pertinent to the nuanced oppression trans woman face (and on a similar note, that's why it's also important to have fucking words like Transmisogynoir, because a black trans woman's Situations will be different from a white trans woman's Situations and it's important to to recognize that). THAT's why I also think that we need words like Exorsexism and Transandrophobia, to identify the patterns of situations where trans men have it bad precisely because they are trans men and not something else or because nonbinary people have it bad precisely because they are nonbinary.
SO, in short, my opinion on the "trans man have it generally better than trans woman and that's why they have privilege" debate is that trans man don't generally have it better than trans woman, but some trans man in specific situations have it significantly better than trans woman and that in other situations trans woman have it significantly better than trans man and that is basically a case-to-case scenario and that's also why we need the specific words for different shapes and faces of transphobia to better understand these cases and why x happens with y at z situation. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
#maybe i havent been able to convince you of my point#but hopefully you can see this issue in a new light i guess?#my two cents#transphobia#trans#transandrophobia#trans community#transmisoginy#intersectionality#long post#like hopefully i've been able to get my point across XD#like do you see my point#i hope the examples at the beggining help#like#it doesnt matter that im a black abled person and that is a white disabled person#in a situation where the disability or lack thereof is the Relevant aspect im gonna have it way better than this hipothetical disabled pers#so i have privilege over them regarding my ableness#and similarly in a situation where our race is the relevant aspect they are gonna have it better than me#in situations where these OVERLAP you can't just 'tell' because of like#Nuance. if you know her#im not trying to say trans woman in situations like the first example or some fandom stuff and online interactions-#-don't have a significantly worse hand than the transmascs#im saying that this kind of stuff is a case-to-case scenario#and this so-called Privilege is just.#inconsistent.#and when you compare it to like Abled Privilege or White Privilege it justs...#you can sort of just see the difference#i get it that this whole debate is based on the fact that “in general; men have privilege over women” so i actually see where it's coming-#-from. but i also think that the transness aspect is something that just adds so much nuance to this issue that the previous Truth-#-just can't apply with good accuracy anymore
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going through a sexuality crisis was not on my 2024 bingo card
#am i a lesbian#am i bisexual#i dont fucking know#someone help#sexuality crisis#yall i thought i was bi but#the mere thought of a penis sends me into a spiral#but like i don't think i would mind a boyfriend if we like only kissed#idk if im making sense#also i don't know if im just in denial bc my dad is THE homophobe#cuz if im bi there's a chance i end with man and ill see him again but if im lesbian i will not#and maybe i won't ever see my mom again either#idk man#daddy issues hitting hard#tell me what you think
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Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, I recently went into the x-men and I found my own dead with Charles and Erik AND I NEED READ MORE OF THEM BUT I SO LOST AFTER POWERS AND HOUSE OF X SO I DON'T KNOW WHERE CONTINUE, can u help me?
(alsoIlikeyoursdrawingsiwishbeingsoconstantwithmycontentlikeu)
i'll be very candid with you my friend: i'm totally lost too !!!!!!! your comic-reading journey is about as green as mine and so i cant personally give you a super great guide- but beautiful people on the internet exist who've done most of the dirty work for us when sorting through the stories you 'should' read so i'm borrowing them to help us both
you can read this article to read about one person's advice with exploring krakoa and- in their opinion- its most 'significant' stories, though to summarize the issues they recommend looking into:
House of X/Powers of X (which you should have already done)
X of Swords event
Hellfire Gala
Inferno
X Lives and X Deaths of Wolverine
Second Hellfire Gala
Third Hellfire Gala
Fall of the House of X/Rise of the Powers of X (also should have already done, however...) +Single issue: X-Men (2021 series) #35 aka Uncanny X-Men #700 is featured at the end of the FoX omnibus, though the omnibus excludes an extra bit at the end involving a cliffhanger for Charles's fate after he's arrested
if you want to dig a little deeper though, you can check out this article from another individual which includes another wave of 'relevant' (word used loosely as some can be considered more poignant than others) krakoa stories and stories related to it or set during the period.
it's a lot longer and more in depth than the last article, so again i only really rec peaking at this one depending on how deep you wanna go, or if you decide you want to explore more after reading the more 'key' stories. def wouldn't hurt to give it a glance just in case you read some summaries that pique your interest!
all in all, don't take these as concrete rules or guides to follow: comics are meant to be fun, these are just good starting points if you're feeling lost or overwhelmed. at the end of the day, you decide ultimately what you want to read and which stories interest you the most
happy reading !
#snap chats#my tried-and-true method of comic reading though is 1.) talk to my brother long enough til he tells me an interesting run#2.) poke around my comic shop and see which stories catch my eye#not a PERFECT method if youre trying to be methodical but i think the most important thing with comics#is not to make it stressful or not make it like. a homework assignment#just read what you think will interest you the most or what friends rec and just have fun :]#again ive just started picking up comics again after like. A Decade so im not exactly The Guy to ask at this point in time#but we're all friends we're a community so we'll do it together#as for right now tho. i am very sleepy my eyes are heavy. so goodnight my friends !!!!#i think i'll start legion of x tomorrow.. i really wanna read the first class issues i got#but i think those will be a good cleanser after LoX .... LoX gon make me sad i know it will#anyways! good night! and if anyone has any stories they rec or wanna share with me or anyone else readin my blog please do :]]#OH and thank you for liking my art LOL. on that note please dont stress about the 'content' you put out and how much you make#if you also refer to art then please remember youre an artist not a content machine: you make art and you make it when you make it#it aint a race or a competition so just like comics just have fun and do what you do !!! thats always how you get the best results#ok im sleeping fr now my eyes hurt and ive been chewing this gum for like seven hours GOODNIIIIGHT
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The thing that gets me the most about intersexism is the fact that... it doesn't matter how many intersex people there are - no matter if they are as common as redheadheaded people or anybody else - when the intersexist sees human bodies and their states as a inherently a political battle, an agenda to be "won," the intersex body will always be an "anomaly," something crude and unnatural, regardless of how oxymoronic the "unnatural natural body" is.
#intersex#intersexism#intersexism tw#that's why the venn diagram between the transphobe and the intersexist is only ever a few degrees away from being just a circle#was watching how people treated an intersex woman indistinguishably with just... unparalleled misogyny and intersexism#because they see ALL bodies as a political battlefield for which their viewpoint must win. and it won't matter how many people it destroys.#...if you are destroyed by them - in the eyes of the intersexist - you deserved it. survival of the fittest right?#it reminds me of the salem with trials - if you drowned well you were a normal woman. it's better that you died though...#...your other option wasn't any better - truth is... the game was rigged from the start#this is why the argument that intersex people don't exist and are common isn't effective...#...it's like telling a sexist that half the population are women.... that's their problem! that's exactly their issue!!!#the issue is often not because they are common or not common but that they EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE#it wouldn't matter if intersex people were twenty times as rare as they are now so long as they exist to the intersexist
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im so emotionally attached to jason grace it's not even funny atp. i literally think about him all day, I'm not exaggerating pls someone tell me they feel this way too 😮💨
#i actually might need to stop posting jason grace content for a while bc it's getting overwhelming lmao. the hyperfixation is REAL#I have so many ideas about him to post that i had to write it down on my notes app 😭#it's gotten so bad that I have attention span issues to do real life tasks bc I just wanna keep talking abt jason's character all day-#i actually went like 1/2 months without a jason grace hyper fixation. that's around the time I was inactive on tumblr#but these past few weeks the hyper fixation is hitting me harder. I'm pretty sure you can tell by how many posts i spammed this week#the fact that the jason grace x reader community isn't as active as it was back then is also not helping my hyperfixation at all#there used to be HEAPS of them every day that I looked forward to reading them every morning now I can't even see 2 in a week#i used these fics as an 'aid' for my attachment and still kinda do#also don't even get me started on how his death devastates me every single day omg like I feel genuine RAGE#pjo fanfic#pjo#pjo hoo toa#pjo series#percy jackson#percy jackson fandom#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo fandom
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"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.
Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.
Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...
And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.
Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.
#Murderbot#murderbot diaries#system collapse#Herr's personal tag#Also like. System collapse dives deep into MB's feelings about its life as secunit prior to the events of all systems red#I find this conversation from when they were discussing what would happen if the BE folks got to the colonists first /very/ telling#MB going on about how life as a corporate slave is absolute fucking hell#ART drone saying that they can't just kill people because the alternative is worse than death#ART: would it have been kinder to kill you before you'd disabled your governor module?#MB with zero fucking hesitation: /yes/#(followed by my favourite ART line ever. “You know I am not kind.”)#Like. MB would not have always admitted that it had hated its life as a secunit this openly#Saying it was shit is one thing saying I would rather be dead than think of me or anyone else going through this again is a very different#And here it has zero issues stating that. At least when talking to ART#And then later on it goes on to offer its actual memories for a publicly screened documentary#Because it knows it's the only way to make people see. The only way to save then from the same (ish) fate#And it's willing to do whatever it takes to save these people it's never even met before from what it views as fate worse than death#Including opening up and acknowledging its past experiences and past/current feelings#And I'm just like. Man I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.#You go MB. Holy fuck I wish I could do what you've done. You might just be the person to defeat this evil capitalism my dude
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hellooo, I hope you're feeling well! I was wondering however if ouroboros was still being worked on or if it's on hiatus. Hope I wasn't rude in asking
I don't feel it's rude, after all, I have been keeping the development close to my chest. It is still being worked on, edited and transferred into renpy with graphics and soundbytes galore! However, right now, since about three weeks back, I left my partner of 8 years in the middle of the night with just a change of clothes, my dog, and a laptop. I'm struggling hard but putting on a brave face-- right now I'm coming up with a concept of something else to work on until I get a proper apartment and can get my stationary PC back so I can get back to work on ouro. I'll make a proper post about it tomorrow, so keep an eye on this space!
#ouroboros-if#interactive fiction#in all honesty i forgor the password to the louroth tumblr so ill just stick to my personal for now 💀#everything is up in the air. i cry all the time. and when im not crying im writing. LMAO#it'll all work out though it will just take some time to get back on my feet#the ouro book 1 is like 65% done and a demo is even closer. i just haven't found a reasonable stopping point+ some of the most intense edits#and rewrites are in the first chapters and I've been wanting to finish the latter parts first so i don't have to run myself in circles tryin#to line everything up properly. yk?#im so grateful for my patreons for being willing to support me because money is such an issue rn. if I can't make it monetarily on writing i#will have to put it all on complete hiatus and go back to work full time#which I dread bc doggy daycare is so damn expensive. alas! only time will tell what happens next. tomorrow is a big day when i find out#what exactly i will have to do.#thanks for the ask nony<3 i have several other asks i will try to get to during the week!!#please block the 'ouroboros-if' tag if you don't wish to see them dear mutuals<3
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Thinking about Psychonauts and how much I love the Aquato family once again
They mean the world to me your honor
#They are a strange little family with so many issues and generational trauma and YET they still LOVE EACHOTHER#DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS TO ME???#Nona; Augustus; Donatella; Dion; Frazie; Rasputin; Mirtala; Queepie-#I love you all and I owe you my life#DION AND DONATELLA ESPECIALLY; Y’ALL GET SO MUCH HATE FOR HAVING UNDERSTANDABLE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL :(#Aquatos get behind me; I’ll protect you from the people who think you abuse Raz and should just get adopted by Sasha and Milla#that’s a bad take and they should feel bad. like; he can still see Sasha and Milla and alternate parental figures; that’s fine-#But Raz; CANONICALLY; would NEVER give up his family; EVER#That boy would force everyone to have a heart on heart with him until everything is better because he DOES that in the GAME#When you talk to you family in Psychonauts 2 you can tell how much he loves them and how much they love him; even if it’s strained at the-#moment from how stressful the past THREE DAYS have been#YES EVEN DION AND DONATELLA#They love Raz so much!!! They’re both just going through it™️ atm and need time to clear their head: remember; everything that has happened-#has been in the span of 3 DAYS and their whole lives have been completely flipped upside down#I think they’re allowed to be upset; in fact; it would be weird if they weren’t#sorry this is word garbage I just love that family so much it makes me wanna drink paint#prince rambles in this chilies tonight#aquato family#psychonauts aquatos#psychonauts 2#psychonauts
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“You cannot pick and choose what parts of her to love”
Dorian saying this line really gives a glimpse into the kind of person that he is. He believes that if you love someone, you love them as a whole, with their flaws and imperfections and everything in between. I really love how he laid it on Chaol like this because when it comes to love, Dorian doesn’t play around. He takes it seriously and can work through these issues because when he’s in love, he loves from all of his heart.
Which gets me to my point: Manon. A man like this, even if she reveals the ugliest parts of herself, he isn’t going anywhere. He KNOWS that no one is perfect, and as soon as something happens, he isn’t going to bolt. No, Dorian Havilliard is there for the long run and just that Manon has issues/has done some awful things— it isn’t going to send him away.
When Manon told him that she isn’t like other women he was quick to literally say ‘fuck other women it’s you i want’ and he never looked back. He loves ALL of her, flaws and murders and everything she has done. He just doesn’t care. Because to Dorian, all of these things are part of her, and just like he said to Chaol, he doesn’t pick and choose what parts of her to love.
#booklr#books and reading#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#tog#dorian havilliard#manon x dorian#manorian#chaol westfall#that was a very powerful line#one that tells you more about the kind of man he is#Manon tried to deter him by telling him some of what she did and he just didn’t care#because he loves and accepts all of her#there isn’t anything she can do that will send him away#Dorian is the kind of man who is there for the long haul#and believe me with Manon’s abandonment issues she will try to push him just to see if he’s willing to stick it out or end up leaving#but she’s in good hands because no matter what she does Dorian is aways going to be there#he’s not going to just leave her#when he loves her really loves#my girl is in good hands I know he got her
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