#especially with the chinese terms I tried to use

[silverloreleysfanfics]

Act 1

I promised myself I wouldn't start another WIP when I already have so many and also I didn't make any breakthrough with my thesis in so long, but... but the first chapter of the TTEOTM x LBFAD fic I outlined here basically wrote itself, so here it is.

It's in draft form, it's long and unedited (I need to study some things more and fix a few others), no beta we die like Pian Ran (too soon?) Chu Huang (it’s already a tag on AO3 lol) and I also have no title yet.

Also, no promises I'll continue this anytime soon, be aware of this.

That said, here it is (first part out, the rest under cut):

§§§

It was cold. Heavens above, it was so cold, and all hurt so much, her eye, her head, her whole body. Her soul, even.

Li Susu tried, she tried to endure the pain, the disappointment, the guilt.

Oh, the guilt, the neverending guilt towards a world she couldn't save no matter her efforts, towards her family still destined to die, one by one, in front of her future self, towards herself for forcing all that pain and ordeals only to fail... and even towards him, her treacherous heart screeched, the one who loved her so strongly and yet she had to betray for everyone's sake, unable to find another route sooner, incapable of looking for one where they all could live.

She berated herself, for her mistakes and the pain in her heart alike, a pain she wasn't supposed to feel, not for him and yet... yet...

No, she had to push forth. It didn't matter what the God of Time said, that they were always destined to that, that there was no other choice, no other route, she had to complete the immortal essence for him, no matter what.

After all, she had been ready to die when she departed from her time. It wasn't like she had any hopes for herself to begin with. Her only wish was to fix things for everyone else.

Distracted and too tired to go on with the cultivation, she acknowledged she had to stop for the day. Eating and taking care of herself in the Cold Palace were ordeals that consumed much of her physical strength, so she tried to do the least possible, her mission the only thing that counted, to complete the cultivation and exchange the Evil Bone with Immortal Essence. Then she could rest, die with heart eased by knowing she'd done all she could.

Somebody had brought her food, as it often happened. Li Susu suspected either Pian Ran or her brother were doing so behind the emperor's back because the foods were usually good, and Pian Ran herself showed up with medicine every two days.

Somebody must have been helping her with other things, she suspected, although she had no idea who or why, her hearing and eyesight too bad to catch a glimpse of them even when she wasn't focusing on cultivating the essence.

Gratefully, she grabbed some of the food, munching it down in slow bites. It wasn't as good as always, or perhaps her taste was declining as well. It felt a little bitter, but so did the water, somehow.

It mattered not. She finished eating and went to sleep, the coppery taste of blood on her tongue overwhelmed her taste buds soon, as it often happened, and just as it often was, exhaustion claimed her quickly.

Yet, that time, that broken body didn't wake.

From the depth of the prison, Ye Bingchang waited for news of her sister's death, unaware she just caused the end of her world with her selfish envy.

§

Xiao Lanhua didn't often go back to the original Siming Hall, as her replica of it in Xishan was more than enough a home for her, as it was for the 500 years she waited in there for her love to return to her.

But, as Siming herself was exiled and the old Goddess of Fate never had other apprentices, Xiao Lanhua felt it was still her duty to take care of the destiny books, even more so now that with her powers as the Goddess of Xishan she could repair the damaged ones with more ease that she ever did.

Therefore, once in a while, she warned her husband she'd leave for a while, ignored his scoffs and whining not to go, and went to her old home to see what she had to do.

Siming Hall was almost abandoned, although Danyin had made sure to install a few guards there ever since she became the Goddess of War to make sure no one would steal or damage further the books, a little courtesy between the two former fairies now Goddesses who were also sisters-in-law.

In the past centuries, the plants Xiao Lanhua had helped with their cultivation had become able to get a mostly stable human form and took upon themselves the task to gather the fallen books and clean up the place so that Xiao Lanhua would find it pristine and liveable as it was when she inhabited the place full time.

As such when, one visit like any other, Xi Yun descended onto the front entrance of Siming Hall, the guards greeted her with the usual respect, she nodded back at them and entered, suspecting nothing out the ordinary.

At least, until she got closer to the Destiny Tree.

She felt it before she saw it.

One tiny bit of something misplaced, not in the wide area she worked on, but up on the tree itself. A leaf different from the rest. A Destiny Book she had to check. She looked up, ignoring the small pile of damaged leaves gathered for her on the desk, searching for the book that called for her, with an urgency at her core that told her to see what was going on impossible to ignore. Looking for the cause of the thin spike of worry puncturing her heart.

She located the book with ease and called for it.

It was like any other at first sight: a golden leaf, with a human's name, a mortal. The name meant "cinders", a strange one, as humans believed the names they gave to their children carried meanings and expectations and that was a humble, if not ominous, one.

And then she delved into it and saw what was wrong. The glowing veins didn't shine a bright gold, but red: crimson filaments engulfed a fate that was just beginning, the same sick, awful tinge as...

"Tai Sui?" she whispered, incredulous.

No, that wasn't possible. Xi Yun had destroyed the Evil God, she had been ready to give her all, Dongfang Qinchang had given his all, to destroy it and never have its poisoning presence taint the Three Realms again.

Tai Sui has been gone for over six hundred years, he couldn't be back.

And yet.

Over that mortal life hanged the grasp of Tai Sui, the boy's destiny was to grow into the Evil God, to become the Evil God himself, the vessel Tai Sui had been looking for ever since he lost his physical form.

She looked further in the book: his mother dead in childbirth, he was to be discareded by his father and seen as misfortune and a murderer before he could even emit his first cry, the nurses would find he already had teeth at birth and consider it another omen of disgrace, and that he wouldn't be able to express feelings, or even have them.

Perceived as different by other mortals, he'd be hurt and mistreated his whole life long, destined to suffer one abuse after another and eventually he'd die, widowed, in a cold snowy night, after which Tai Sui would be able to take control of his body and start the path towards the destruction of the world he so craved with the madness and pain imbued in the young man and the army of demons freed from the Barren Abyss.

Not even the Goddess of Xishan would be able to stop him, not this time.

She considered, for a moment, to pretend she never saw it, remembering her shifu's teachings about not changing mortals' fates, but that was too important. This was a fate that had to be changed, no matter what, no matter the price. The Tianji Mirror lit up with a soft orange glow right that moment. Xiao Lanhua had never seen it open in person, and dreaded what she could see in it.

"Xi Yun, Goddes of Xishan" a voice called from it.

She frowned and got closer. It didn't seem like a vision of the future, as she had been told those were silent, while this one called her by name. The mirror didnt't show much, just an opaque outline of a male figure with white hair.

"I am. Who are you?"

"I'm Ji Ze, God of Time"

Her frown ran deeper. Everyone in Shuiyuntian knew the story of how the gods had perished, long before the war between the fairies and moon tribe, how the only god left had been Ming Ye, God of War, who had also disappeared, consumed by his own grief, they said.

Yet, perhaps, the God of Time could reach past and future. Yes, that would make sense.

"I need your help, Xi Yun. Only you can set in motion what's needed to change the Fate in your hands"

"How?"

"The Devil Fetus' fate is written in that book, but it can be changed. You altered destinies before, you must find a way for this too. Another tried and almost managed, yet couldn't complete her mission and shall go through that mortal life again. Help her, Xi Yun, help Li Susu"

"What do I do?"

"The reason the Devil God can reform is an Evil Bone. Destroying the Evil Bone is the first step towards salvation. Li Susu knows how to. Please, do what you can to save the Three Realms and Four Continents"

"It's my responsibility, as the Goddess of Xishan, to finish what I started and destroy the Evil God for good" she replied and could almost hear the relieved sigh coming from the old god.

"Thank you. I'll leave it to you"

The Mirror dulled again and disappeared from the trunk, hidden as always.

Filled with dread, Xiao Lanhua tried to look for Li Susu's book, but she couldn't find it, not on the tree, nor among the ones to repair. A life not yet existing, or one already destroyed?

Xiao Lanhua hoped for the first.

After hiding the future Devil God's destiny book in her clothes, she penned a message to alert the Goddess of War, sending it with her powers through the air, hoping it would reach her as soon as possible.

She was certain Dongfang Qingcang was already on his way to Simingdian, as he seldom was able to let her stay on her own for too long and often showed up unannounced while she was working. She half-suspected his impromptu visits were also to annoy Lord Yunzhong, who couldn't deny the Yuezun to see his wife.

Therefore, she left on the desk another message for her husband to find. She couldn't wait to gather everyone there. Minutes in the immortal realms were days in the mortal lands, if she wanted to do something about it, provided there was something to do, it had to be done immediately, so she left for Yunmengze.

Changheng, under the pseud of Xiao Run, owned a teahouse in Lucheng those days. It was one of the activities he had tried his hand at in the years he moved to the mortal realm, after the fall out with his brother had become too grave to keep living in Shuiyuntian.

Lord Yunzhong would have wanted Changheng to marry, as he insisted the God of War's true potential could be achieved only through a powerful marriage, and had started to line-up potential matches against his will. Changheng's refusal to stay the God of War, going as far as to recommend Danyin to take his place, had caused a rift between the brothers that, added to their other issues, became a permanent break in about two centuries' time.

Therefore, Changheng seldom came back to Shuiyuntian nowadays and kept switching identies and jobs every few decades, to try the whole spectrum of mortal life.

It didn't help that Changheng had, once again, defied his brother's will in order to follow his heart. First his broken heart, which refused to tie itself to anyone, after he lost his first love.

Then, time later, out of love for himself, that made him realize how little he had valued his own life, and how childish his infatuation had been. How much more he loved life when he was free to decide for himself.

His friends and former enemies had turned into his family: Danyin was both his sworn sister and student, Xiao Lanhua had become a cherished sister as well,  Dongfang Qingcang had gotten used to be his sworn brother again, and even Xunfeng sometimes slipped and called him with familiarity.

All of them were welcome to find him at any given moment, his house and any property he owned were open for them at all times.

So he didn't wonder why Xiao Lanhua - who everybody in Lucheng currently believed to be his sister - appeared in the teahouse unannounced.

He did, although, worry when he saw how she carried herself. Long time before, any feeling could have been read on her face with extreme ease, and it still was the case, when she was relaxed. But when she wasn't, only Xi Yun could be seen, the algid, perfectly controlled Goddess of Xishan.

Her friends and family knew when Xi Yun took over there had to be some issue she was struggling with. Xiao Lanhua hid behind her goddess persona when things were too hard to bear, she had for most the 500 years after Tai Sui's destruction and, at times, even after, because she didn't trust herself enough to deal with certain matters as her old self, the little plant with the damaged root she had been for most her life felt inadequate, no matter how much she'd grown and how many things she went through. Some scars never healed, it turned out. Judging by how controlled her every movement was and how no trace of a smile could be found on her lips or eyes, the matter had to be grave indeed.

"Is something wrong?" Changheng couldn't but ask, and Xi Yun nodded once. "Everyone else should be arriving soon, I need some time to think it through before I explain it all" was her reply.

Changheng didn't ask more and led her to one of the private sitting rooms, the kind reserved for important meetings, with thick walls and sturdy doors to grant secrecy.

Danyin arrived two hours later, which must have been no more than a handful of minutes in Shuiyuntian.

"What happened?" the Goddess of War had asked, worried by the sudden convocation.

Unable to give a proper answer, Changheng had pointed her to the room and waited for the rest to come around.

Xunfeng appeared soon after, a raised brow and a tad of disappointment at not having been convocated in person. Danyin scowled his way when she saw him before he could utter a single word and shook her head, at which he merely scoffed and sat by her side, his impatience hidden with the ease of his diplomatic ability carefully cultivated in the past centuries as interim Yuezun.

Quicker than expected, Dongfang Qingcang strode in, followed by Shangque and Jieli, his first act falling on a knee by his wife's side and cupping her face with both hands, antsy at the sight of her darkened looks.

Xi Yun instantly relaxed a bit, leaned on the soft touch of her love, but the tightness in her features didn't disappear, making all of them even more worried.

"What is it?" the Yuezun stared at his wife, who shook her head and silently prompted him to seat.

Changheng closed the door behind him and sat too.

"You're all here" Xiao Lanhua whispered, relieved.

"Your message seemed urgent, did something happen?"

"Not yet, but..." she put the destiny book in the middle of the table, pinning it with her index finger, as if afraid it could disappear from her sight if she didn't keep holding onto it.

"This is a mortal's book," she began "I felt something wrong when I visited Simingdian earlier, and the reason is this" she activated it, showing the red tendrils that entangled the bright words.

Xunfeng tilted his head "What is that supposed to mean, a-sao?"

"Immortals' destiny books have their own peculiar glow. Mortals' books are less intense. But this never happened before, I had to know why, so I checked it out" she took a breath "This mortal will be the reincarnation of Tai Sui"

"What?"

"Impossible!"

"You destroyed him!"

"I thought so too!" she replied, quieting them "Some part of him must have stayed hidden somewhere, perhaps in the mortal realm, and now it'll come back, taking the body of this mortal upon his death"

"How long?"

"Not much. A couple decades, I guess. He'll be married but he'll be still young when he'll die. Widowed, actually"

She then read the prophecy aloud: "Marred with the sin of his mother's death, he'll be rejected by blood and kin, not a soul moved by love. Torment will follow and pain will court him. No glory will last, no happiness will stay. The day of his wife's death, he too will perish in the snow, to awaken as the bringer of the world's end. The Barren Abyss will open anew, the demons will find him and recognize him as their Lord, and all shall be bleak"

"What can we do?"

"Kill him, of course"

"We can't kill a child, he's innocent right now"

"He's a mortal, how long can he stay alive? A century at most and he'll die anyway"

Xi Yun explained again: "We can't, didn't you hear it? It will be his death that will mark Tai Sui's return"

Danyin pursed her lips "We need to get ready to fight him again, then"

"The best option is to fight him here, before he can reach the immortal realms" Xunfeng reasoned, already planning the next step.

"Unless we can prevent Tai Sui from taking over" Xi Yun then retold them about Ji Ze's message and the existence of the Evil Bone.

"Why did he tell you that?"

"He asked for my help. He said I'm the only one who ever altered people's Fates and I must try to do so again"

"But immortals are not allowed to tamper with Fate" Danyin reasoned "The consequences..."

"I know, but what else can we do?" Xiao Lanhua sighed.

"Certainly not risking the Three Realms' safety" Shangque nodded "Should Tai Sui come back, it would mean certain disaster"

"What would happen if we didn't allow this mortal to fulfill its fate?" Xunfeng asked, pragmatically.

"His soul could turn to ashes, but it's more likely he would reincarnate and start anew. This wouldn't stop Tai Sui from taking his body anyway, it could either prompt the possession at once or just give him another chance in a short time"

"We'd only delay the inevitable at best, make it faster at worst" Jieli summed up.

"So what? We just let him?"

"Never" Xi Yun replied, grasping hard Dongfang Qingcang's hand. He squeezed back. It had been far too short since he came back, the pain of their parting was still strong in both of them. Neither had any intention of repeating the past, of having to make the same sacrifices, this time with no certainty Tai Sui couldn't see through their plans and prevail with his own plots.

"We have to find a way to destroy the Evil Bone, whatever it may be"

"Who is this Li Susu?"

Xiao Lanhua shook her head "I don't know, I couldn't find any book of destiny with that name. It's possible that this person doesn't exist yet"

"So we can't kill him, nor we can neutralize the Evil Bone until we know how, and we won't know how until we find Li Susu"

A heavy silence fell. It seemed like a no-choices situation.

"We must take the child" Changheng said at last "Bring him somewhere else, away from the causes of his fate, and see if we can do something about this Evil Bone on our own"

"Take him where? In Shuiyuntian?!" Danyin springed up "Would you risk to turn like Rong Hao and Chidi Nuzi? Because that's what will happen..."

Xiao Lanhua bit her lip in contemplation "I think it may work" she said.

"You can't be serious!"

"Xiao Huayao, that's madness"

"Wasn't it madness offering yourself to Tai Sui just to trap him into your Sea of Heart? And yet you made it! To defeat Tai Sui we must take a risk he wouldn't expect us to, and altering his fate is surely one"

"We'll need to know what to change, though" "Just how will he become the Evil God?"

Xiao Lanhua took the book again and opened it. A cold night, snow falling, a young man with sharp features and uncanny gauntness kneeling on the ground, then fainting. Then a red glow and he'd wake up with red irises and a new strength.

"He'll die and then awake again as the Evil God. That's all the book shows me. Whatever will happen, it will be from within him"

"We must avoid that, then. If his early death will be the beginning of it all, we must at least postpone it until we find Li Susu and figure how to destroy the Evil Bone"

"We can do it. Take the child, protect him, make sure he doesn't fall into the Evil God's path, or at least that he knows he shouldn't trust Tai Sui and give up his body..."

"We can't take him to the immortal realms," Danyin repeated "A mortal child raised in Shuiyuntian will be exposed to mockery and ridiculous at best, to hatred at worst, provided Yunzhong dijun won't decide to try his luck and execute him, and that would call on the Evil God quicker"

Xiao Lanhua grimaced at the thought "Danyin's right. You may not know all of it, but they weren't nice to me when they believed I was weak fairy with a damaged immortal root, I can't see a mortal child be treated much better, even with all of us by his side, his fate would be the same here"

"In Xishan, then. Or Changyanhai, as long as he grows up well..."

"Run-lang, it's too much of a gamble, and you're a terrible gambler, if this Danyin can remind you"

A ghost of a smile passed over Changheng, the memory of Xiao Run and his terrible habits now more a fond memory than a reason for embarrassment.

"I believe, if he's raised right, we could steer him in the right direction" was his reasoning "We may not be able to prevent his destiny entirely, but we can postpone it for quite some time, if we play our part well"

"But how?"

"By raising him ourselves, or having the immortal sects handle his education"

"Not the immortal sects. Sooner or later, they'll recognize who he is and could decide it's not worth the risk"

Surprisingly, Xunfeng seemed to agree: "It's not like we have a better plan, so we should take him. Besides, if this one is already destined to become an immortal..."

"Uh?"

"The Evil God is still a god, no? He has a potential for immortality already, other mortals will feel he's different somehow, although they won't be able to tell in what regard. He won't fit among them either way. Isn't that so, a-sao?" he pointed towards the destiny book on the table in the middle of the room.

The Goddess of Xishan nodded, having read it in depth and knowing the mistreatment and pain he'd have to go through at the hands of other mortals. In all honesty, it had hurt her heart to see it, it was a sad and painful destiny, filled with hatred and disappointment, betrayal and loneliness. She too wished to change it, despite the risks, and no, it wasn't only about Tai Sui's possible return.

There was a bit of herself in that mortal book's story - loneliness and mistreatment, growing to become powerful beyond expectations -, and a bit of Dongfang Qingcang - emotionless, raised like an object, separated from anyone when it came to the most important things -, a bit of Jieli and Shangque - orphans and needing to fend off for themselves, going hungry and mistreated at young age -, a bit of Xunfeng and Changheng, even - youngest brothers, always second in line, talented but dismissed for faults not theirs -, and of Danyin too - angry at the world, needing to keep a façade of perfect calm to protect themselves - and taking out the equation all that pain could help a lot that boy not to give in to Tai Sui's tricks.

But would that be enough? Would they be enough? Could they really prevent that dreadful fate just like that?

"Love is the only thing that can change Fate" Dongfang Qingcang recalled at least "Siming said that and we know it's true. We won't have to just raise the child, we'll have to love him. Can we do this?"

A heavy silence fell.

Could they love a monster in the making? Could he love them, in any way or measure? Love each other enough to change fate?

"Oh, what are we discussing about?!" Jieli scoffed "It's a child, a baby, but won't be so for long, we need to get a move or we won't be able to fix anything"

"Jieli..."

"No, here, listen. Shangque and I took in lots of children, and we know how they are, don't we? They grow how they're raised, for the most part. Sure, they all have their character and little things that are unique, but how they are raised does a lot"

Shangque nodded "It is so"

"And if we fail?"

"At least we can say we tried, duh. But if we stay here, discussing like old people having tea without taking action, we'll waste too much time and there will be nothing to do"

"What about letting him stay in the mortal realm, then? The child belongs here, he'll be far from the immortal realms and no one but us will have to know"

"I can do it" Changheng suddenly said.

Dongfang Qingcang rolled his eyes "You can't be serious"

"I got used to live as a mortal, I know the Four Continents well enough thanks to my travels, and I have connections and knowledge, I can raise the boy here and you can visit and help at need"

"But then you will interfere with his mortal destiny directly" Qingcang reminded him "You could shatter your soul, like Chidi Nuzi when she chose to take in Rong Hao"

Changheng's stance didn't change. It was the right thing to do, the best option for everyone.

"It's a risk we have to take, if his destiny is to awaken as the Evil God, no sacrifice will be too much"

"You'll be destroyed!" Danyin almost got up again "The payback will be devastating..."

"If you're certain, we'll all take a part of the burden" Dongfang Qinchang assured. They all turned his way, surprised by the sudden change of route, but the Yuezun must have seen something, or understood something, and his stance was clear.

Xiao Lanhua squeezed his hand, a similar determination in her eyes "Ji Ze asked me directly, and defeating Tai Sui is my responsibility, we won't leave you on your own. And if that will make our demise, so it will be"

"The old gods did the same and gave their lives for the cause. We won't be any less" Shangque affirmed, Jieli nodding by his side.

On his side, Xunfeng tilted his head "So be it"

Danyin looked at the others like they had gone mad, then pursed her lips and straightened her back "Then, our fight starts now. I, Danyin, Goddess of War, declare we will do our outmost to prevent the return of the Evil God"

§ The carriage that brought the captive prince of Jing from his kingdom to Sheng's capital was a barely decent one, good enough for a lesser noble, perhaps, if it had been in pristine conditions, which it wasn't.

It could seem a show of humbleness, sending someone as precious as a prince with such means, but Yue Yingxin knew the truth. The king of Jing had no interest in having his child have any comfort, no matter what. In fact, using the boy as bargaining chip, offering him as captive, was the last show of cruelty from a man who didn't deserve the name of father.

In the best case, Tantai Jin would be graciously hosted in the foreign land, not mistreated or hurt but never free either. In the worst, the king of Sheng would kill the child in retaliation for any slight, imagined or real, coming from Jing.

Unaware of it all, the little boy sat quietly in the uncomfortable carriage, wearing simple clothes that showed none of his noble birth, entertaining himself with a scroll one of the Sheng guards had given him once they took charge at the borders.

The scroll contained the protocol the captive prince would have to follow in Sheng, and the little boy was studying it with the same sharp eyes and attentive mind he did everything.

It was scary how focused such a small child could be, how his questions seemed above his age, how uncanny the look in his eyes was.

Yingxin was terrified of him, and even more so she was terrified of the life awaiting her in Sheng. She wanted to go home, to run away from all that, to curse Lan'an for leaving and not taking her with her, abandoning the child at the first chance.

"Yingxin, what does that one mean?" Jin asked, taking her out her thoughts by pointing at one of the characters. The boy had been barely taught how to read and couldn't recognize most characters, and had been repeating the questions with the same monotone tone and the same gesture multiple times already. At that point, Yingxing mused, she might have well read the whole text to him herself.

She leaned forward to read when the carriage stopped abruptly.

"Have we arrived?" Jin asked, craning his neck to see.

"I don't know, prince" she replied, but the guards fussing outside and the lack of any sounds normal for the outskirts of a city were worrysome.

And then it started all at once: the guards shouting something, the clamor of unsheated weapons, roar of fire and horses whinning in fear as the smell of smoke started to fill the air.

Yinxing realized two things: one, they had been attacked, likely by bandits. Two: Tantai Jin wasn't scared.

Another person, with more experience and less prejudice, would have thought it good that a young boy was not frazzled and she could coax him out and to safety without panic involved, blaming his calm to his lack of knowledge.

Yinxing only thought how dreadful it was that not even an attack could make him feel anything, not even fear for his life.

If the bandits would realize there was nothing to steal - and the appeareance of the child would never made anyone think he was valuable in any way - they'd just kill everyone.

But she didn't know what to. She couldn't fight, nor she had anything to bargain with. The dread filling her more and more prevented her to see that her precious charge had his hands cupped in front of his face, watching a cricket like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Yinxing, we have to go" he said at last.

"Go?"

Jin nodded "A bad one attacked, the cricket told me. If we leave now, he won't catch us"

"The cricket...?"

Oh. "Oh, the prince has the Yiyue tribe's gift," she thought with a relief she didn't think she could feel at such moment.

Yinxing let the boy grab her hand and risked looking out the carriage, moving the drape that closed itever so sligthly to see if the way was clear.

Aside from the dead guards, it was. The clamor of the fight was all in the front of the carriage, the way back was free. Weird, but lucky.

The prince, with the cricket on his shoulder, started to climb out and Yinxing followed, sprinting in the woods and away from the fight.

She dared to look back once.

It was enough to freeze her blood and tighten her chest in fear.

What they left behind was in an inferno of fire, blood and fallen men, at the dead center of it a single being stood, horns like vines on its head, and more around his torso, glowing red and engulfed with black smoke, a billowy cape covered in fire yet not burning, and a sword dripping with the blood of the last man it was extracted from only to plunge into another with innatural, perfect martial precision.

A demon. They had been attacked by a demon.

Yinxing almost fainted but forced herself to move forth and run faster, hand in hand with the child who was guiding her, changing directions as if he knew where he was going.

He was, in fact, following the cricket's directions. He wasn't sure what had happened. He registered the odd smell and sounds, the worry coming from his nanny, and little more.

But, unused to run as he was, on top of his fragile, malnourished body, he got tired soon. On the grass of unknown woods - as if he ever knew any woods before - his legs gave in and he fell over.

He would have stopped moving, had a thin, almost imperceptible voice near his ear not whispered: "Get up and run, young one, run away! Don't let the demon catch you!"

Faintly, shaking like a leaf, he tried to but couldn't manage, and fell limp on the ground, unconscious.

Yinxing was hit by a thought. A truly horrible one, but one nevertheless.

If she left him there, she'd have better chances at running away. Everyone would assume they both had died in the demon's attack, no one would look for a miserable nanny, a mere servant wouldn't be worth a search, especially if they found the prince there...

She could be free, go home, like Lan'an. Or another place.

She could... she could....

[In one universe, she did. Left him on the ground, ignored the guilt, ran for her life. Or rather, to her death. Her original destiny was, after all, to die after betraying and forsaking her charge. It just happened faster, that time around, with less pain, without going mad, without wounding him by her own hands with a cursed sword. She'd be found at the bottom of a ditch, a week later, body broken by the fall. But this isn't that story]

She went back on her steps and picked up the child, hugging the tiny frame close to her chest, as she had done a million times. And then she ran.

It wasn't a long sprint, anyway. The clamor of the fight was gone, left behind, by the time she got near a river and nothing more than the sounds of the forest and the running water could be heard.

Yinxing let herself collapse to the ground, next to a massive tree. They weren't out of danger, they never would be for good, but she was too tired to go on.

She lied the prince next to her, slumped on the trunk, and let herself drift off.

§

They had escaped the demon, but he was hungry and hurt, chilled to the bones in a way he had not felt even in the Cold Palace.

It was then that he heard the cold voice the first time. But he was too dizzy and hurt to understand what it was saying. It was talking for sure, something about being abandoned and miserable, that such would be his destiny, but the child cared not.

Then, as quickly as it came, the voice was gone and so was the dark landscape under his eyelids, replaced by a gentle, warm light.

"Here you are" someone said, a woman, her voice gentle beyond his every expectation. It was the kindest tone he ever heard, a stark contrast with the cold voice.

He opened his eyes, heavy as they felt, and saw a beautiful lady with golden flowers in her hair and kind eyes, smile to him. She put a warm hand on his chilled face and he immediately felt better.

Someone picked him up from the ground, not the lady, as she still had her hand on his forehead. A faint smell of flowers joined with one of smoke and jasmine, more warmth added to the mix. Hushed voices he couldn't tell apart whispered around him, none unkind nor cold.

He fell in a peaceful slumber, feeling safe and warm for the first time in his life.

§

"How is he?" Changheng asked. He had picked the boy from the ground and was surprised by how little he weighted. He was small even for a mortal child, pale and thin in a way that told of hardships older than the current day's events.

Xiao Lanhua retreated her hand from his forehead "He's weak but not ill, nothing some good food and lots of rest can't fix"

"We almost lost him"

"I know, when he fainted I worried I couldn't use the cricket to guide him to us anymore" Danyin retold "But we have him now and it's all that matters"

Xunfeng gestured with his head towards the nanny "Should we keep the servant too?"

"We'll let her choose" Changheng replied "I could use a hand with childcare, Jieli and Shangque can't stay here in the mortal realms too long, as can't any of you, given your duties. Besides, he grew up with her, a familiar face will do him good"

"Or not" Xiao Lanhua muttered, refusing to elaborate. Nevertheless, she went to check the woman's state, finding nothing but fatigue and, like the child, lack of nourishment.

It had been a suffered decision, to make an ambush like that. They didn't want to accidentally restart the just-ended war between the kingdoms of Sheng and Jing, but they couldn't let Tantai Jin be taken in as hostage and suffer as much as he would. It was bad enough that they couldn't help him in his first years of life, those times would become scars they couldn't remedy to, they couldn't allow it to go further, if they wanted to prevent the end of the world.

Fine, it wasn't the only reason.

Xiao Lanhua was transparent enough they all knew she was genuinely pained at the thought of what the mortal boy would have to go through according to his set destiny, but none of them understood to what extent until they witnessed it in person, when they snuck in the Jing palace to see him the first time.

The place he lived in, the way even servants shunned him, how he had to catch fish from the pond barehanded or dig in the kitchen's scraps in secret just to eat, all the mistreatment and mockery from adults and children alike, chilled them all to the bone.

Jieli and Shangque who knew poverty and hunger, whose thoughts went to the children of their orphanage and compared even the worst of them had had it better when they found them.

Xiao Lanhua and Danyin, who knew mockery and mistreatment, albeit from different steps of the social ladder, and knew the emotional scars that came from it all.

Dongfang Qingcang and Xunfeng who, even with the knowledge of their father's wrongdoings, could still remember the old Yuezun being a loving parent and wondered how could the king of Jing be so unreasonably cruel with his own son.

Changheng too, who grew without a mother, with an absent father too busy to even see him, with a tyrannical brother with a cruel streak and yet never as malicious to him as the older princes of Jing were to their youngest brother. Changheng who had witnessed the ugly parts of Shuyuntian and yet couldn't fathom how much worse a prince's life could be.

Hearing the news the third prince was to be sent away made the plan form itself. Demons were a common enemy for mortals, making everyone believe a demon was the cause for the disappeareance of the hostage would be a perfect way to have no blame on either kingdom, as long as it happened in Sheng.

Dongfang Qingcang had had great fun playing the role, if the spring in his steps and the pleased smile he sported when he joined them was any indication. It had been centuries since he could terrify someone properly and, although his worst tendencies had been abated, he still relished in scaring others.

He had not killed anyone, as per his wife's request, since death would have altered those mortals' destinies for good, but hit with clinical precision to incapacitate and stun all guards while giving Danyin the time to goad the child out the carriage and to them.

Simple enough.

The maid had been a surprise, none of them imagined the boy would have dragged her with him. Out of reflex or imitation of the care he received, it was a good sign for their task. Nor Xiao Lanhua expected Yingxing to help the little prince and not run for her life.

They left the forest soon, the idea was to reach a nearby town and pretend they found the child by accident. Knowing no one would be looking for him too soon, as it would take at least a day for Sheng's palace to be informed and start the search, they would leave the kingdom before the following dawn, never to be seen there anymore.

Or such was the plan.

[sarshles-cheescake-li]

Link Click, internet slang, and Chinese culture

On the Chinese internet, there's a nickname for Link Click called Shiguang Daidaoren, meaning "the blade-bringers of time" instead of "the managers of time," the original title. Calling something "blade" is Chinese internet slang for something being angsty; whether it be derivative content or the originals themselves. Another meme is that Link Click isn't zhiyu (治愈，healing), which it is tagged as on Bilibili, but zhiyu (致郁，causing depression).

Link Click, especially its first season, is a deeply emotional and sentimental show. And it's a shame that so much of it gets not so much lost in literal, linguistic translation as much as it does in cultural, contextual translation. Many people can understand Emma's pain of being away from her parents in a new city, working a difficult job. But watching the scrolling comments on Bilibili, you get the cultural context of it -- the massive migration patterns within China from rural to urban, the children growing up and having to shed their local fangyan (方言) or, less formally, tuhua (土话)("speech of the locations" and "old-fashioned words," respectively) in exchange for Beijing Mandarin. This massive nation, nearly twice the population of Europe and only about 6% smaller in terms of area, is so diverse as to have created (what is close to) an immigrant experience for its citizens entirely within its borders. You visit your parents on Chunjie (春节）, lunar/Chinese new year, on packed trains during the largest singular human migration event on Earth, annually. And when you get home, you are faced with something different from the cities you now live in -- everything from the buildings to the furniture to the clothes they wear. I hadn't realized how deeply I missed the gaudy, garish mianao (棉袄，coats) and mianbei (棉被，cotton blankets) until I saw familiar shades of too-bright burgundy in the hands of Emma's parents. The concept of this original-home, laojia (老家, old-home) is so strongly baked into our lives that every time I meet another Chinese person, I cannot but help but ask them 你老家哪儿啊? Where is your original-home? And even though I know nothing about Chinese geography, every time I hear the answer, a little piece slots into place nonetheless.

In slang, if something made you cry or otherwise feel an emotion you weren't expecting to feel, you refer to it as pofang (破防，breaking defences). And maybe it says something that an expression of human emotion is viewed as a failure in some defences, but that's introspection for another time. Watching on Bilibili, with its hundreds of comments scrolling by "My defences have been breached" and sobbing onomatopoeia, people in the comments saying that they miss their mothers and fathers -- I, too, miss my family. When Cheng Xiaoshi, in Chen Xiao's body, tried to speak his host body's local variation and came up with butchered dongbeihua (东北话, words of the east-north), I nearly fell out of my chair. It was the sound of home, of my grandmother telling us to hush around noon because our neighbours were napping and my grandfather showing me how to play spider solitaire.

Cheng Xiaoshi's breakdown in episode 5 hits hard for its vulnerability. "I'm scared of the dark" has the same literal meaning as "我怕黑," sure, but there is something devastatingly childlike in that three-syllable declaration of fear. Where English so often derives meaning from complexity, from winding metaphors and beautiful prose, Chinese can derive breathtaking meaning from less breath than it takes to say the word analogy. 我怕黑 is stripped of any grown-up pretenses of control or dignity. It is the barest this statement can be: I. Scared. Darkness.

And what he says following, too. 我害怕一个人. Longer yet no less potent. Alone, or lonely, has many translations in Chinese. 孤独. 寂寞. 孤单. 单独. Many more synonyms for all the different ways you can be lonely. But 一个人 is, once again, an almost child-like way of saying it. Before you have the vocabulary to express these complex emotions, 一个人 is a perfectly working expression. Translating it character-by-character, it means one singular person. It is something you say when you've been left behind. When you've been made to face everything by yourself. When the world is so, so, big, and you are just one singular person, with no companions to stand with you.

And, ah, Li Tianxi's Chinese nickname, 小希. It is the last character of her full name, with a "little" shoved right in front. It is an affectionate way to call someone younger than you. It is different from Xixi, its English rendition, because a repetition of the last character is a more generalized, affectionate nickname, whereas diminutives are almost always reserved for someone younger than you, when used in real life. The diminutive says don't be scared. I'm here now. I'll handle it.

There are endless details in Link Click that make everything about it seem a little bit more like home. The word 面馆 which means something a little, subtly different than "restaurant" or "noodles shop," a difference lost without the context of the phrase 下馆子 and the way adults say it with the gladness of once-children who only ate meat on new years. The "honorifics" as English calls them, to me more of just -- ingrained parts of someone's name. Within the snap of Mandarin syllables there is meaning and memory in every character. Jie, mei, di, ge, lao, da, xiao -- they are more than their literal meanings. They are a relationship, a promise.

Perhaps I am overthinking this, awkwardly Chinese as I am: too localized to be considered first-generation, too stubbornly attached to relate to second-generation. Maybe these linguistic subtleties only exist and matter in my mind, a writer of both languages (though I must say, my Chinese prose leaves… much to be desired) with a knack for pedantics. Regardless, I hope other Chinese fans of this show share this feeling. And surely, other people will, too. All the rural children who left home to pursue higher education and opportunities in faraway cities; the raised-in-poverty who spent their childhoods dreaming of buying their family new coats; the speakers of languages long since abandoned by their childhood friends. What a delight it is to see yourself in stories, neither exception nor abnormality but a norm. What a joy it is to be one of one point four billion.

[snowball-doie]

| pairing: Virgin!Hendery x Virgin!fem!Reader

| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Loss of virginity. Mentions of sex toys. Protected vaginal sex. Nervous Hendery oml he's just a lil guy trying his best~~

| wc: 5.4k

| aurora's note: happy birthday to me and my birthday twin, hendery <3 (this is my first time using chinese terms in a fic. please correct me if anything is wrong as i am not familiar with cantonese or mandarin!)

When you two first met, it was funny that you shared a birthday— Neither you nor Hendery thought you’d fall in love with someone who had the same birthday, so it was a bit silly on dates whenever it would come up in conversation, or whenever his friends would be like, “Wait, so how many gifts do we get for you guys?” after you moved in together. “If you only get us one total, you better sleep with one eye open,” Hendery told them. He didn’t fuck around about his birthday. Yeah, it was funny between the two of you, but if there wasn’t a big pile of birthday presents for the both of you every year, he’d hold it against whoever gave you or him the short end of the stick for the entire year.

You thought it was cute. Especially when it was the first year you two spent your birthday together, that felt incredibly momentous because the two of you were still shy around each other while trying to navigate what it was like being in your first ever relationship. Was it okay to hold your hand? Yes, stupid. Was it okay to kiss you? Yes… “I’m sorry if I suck, though,” you had warned him the first time. “No, no… I’m sorry if I suck…” Was it okay to brag about you at work? Of course. Our birthday is approaching, do you want to do anything special— Only if you aren’t busy with friends and family, of course! You laughed at Hendery’s tendency to trip over his own words and fumble trying to say the right thing. He wanted to be a good boyfriend. He wanted to figure out how to treat you well, how to have a healthy, long lasting relationship with someone who meant the whole world to him. And you tried to reassure him as much as you could that he was perfect the way he was, and that his efforts weren’t going unnoticed. “Let’s get dinner together somewhere nice,” you offered. Hendery nodded, cheeks red, his shyness and excitement taking over him.

Hendery found a nice restaurant to take you out to, somewhere out of the ordinary in the hopes that no one would recognize him and take photos of the two of you. The last thing he wanted was to have your first shared birthday together ruined by a dating scandal. He treated you to everything nice. He wore his favorite suit, you impressed him with a pretty dress that had him staring at your tits a second too long before you caught him and he cleared his throat while trying to play it off coolly. At the restaurant, he ordered an expensive wine, eyeing you to see if you were also impressed, which you were. You enjoyed dinner together in a quiet corner, chatting about each other’s work and your birthday wishes for the year. He wished for a world tour with his group, and to spend White Day with you the following year— It was so far away that you didn’t even have it on your radar… but Hendery looked like he’d been considering it for a long time, and it was exciting to him. You wished to get a promotion at work, and to get to meet each other’s families. Hendery chuckled at that. He seemed to be relieved that you were so committed to a relationship with him that you were already considering meeting his parents. He’d never brought a girl home before. Hell, you’d never brought a boy home before… You both talked about what each other’s parents would think of the other. By the time dessert arrived, Hendery’s hand was on your thigh, and his cheeks were tinted red from the alcohol, and that was when he decided to start sobering up in order to get you home safely.

“I’ll just go home with you—”

The waiters began singing happy birthday while placing a piece of chocolate cake decorated with two birthday candles in front of the two of you. Hendery’s grip tightened on your thigh for a brief moment before he removed it altogether. You pouted slightly at the loss of touch. After the waiters left, you and Hendery shared the chocolate cake until you were both too full to eat the last few bites that remained on the plate. He called for the check with his hand, then it immediately found its place on your thigh again, causing you to question where the shy boyfriend you knew disappeared to with his soberness.

“Ready?” he asked you after the check came and went, the balance fully paid.

You nodded.

Hendery took your hand and led you out of the restaurant, navigating his way so well through the narrow streets and alleyways of Seoul. He must’ve heard your comment earlier because instead of guiding you home, Hendery took you back to his place casually, smiling at you nervously as he opened the front door and let you in. You’d stayed over before. Usually the two of you had dates at home because going out ran the risk of getting caught, and once you were comfortable with each other, cuddling in bed throughout the night became commonplace. It never went further than that, however. There was one time you thought that maybe the two of you would finally sleep together, until he rolled off and went to hide in the bathroom for a bit. Since then, you’ve mulled over a million reasons as to why he wouldn’t fuck you that time. Obviously you both knew you were virgins. It was one of the first things to come up in conversation after admitting that neither of you had been in a relationship before— But you figured that him being an idol meant he couldn’t date, but there were plenty of people for him to fuck! Nope… Hendery had the same amount of limited experience you did.

“You want water or anything?” Hendery asked after closing the door behind you and taking off his suit jacket.

You shook your head.

“Wanna open some gifts the boys got us?”

You nodded.

Hendery eyed you for a second. “You okay?”

“Yeah… Just… thinking.”

He nodded understandingly, like he knew there was no point in prying, so he moved to the living room where the piles of gifts from his group members were sitting. He left space on the couch for you to sit next to him. The redness on his face had disappeared during the walk home, and he was acting sober again; Yet when you sat on the couch, Hendery put his hand on your thigh again so casually and without a second thought about what it was making you think… or making you need…

“Let’s see what we’ve got. Chenle’s gifts are usually good, we can start there?”

You nodded again, gulping. “Sure.”

With his free hand, Hendery handed you the gift Chenle labeled for you, then he put his own gift from Chenle on his lap. You’d met the boys a handful of times, so it wasn’t odd that they seemed comfortable enough to buy you gifts for the first birthday you spent together with Hendery— However, you imagined that Hendery made his way around to all of them to make sure they actually got you something so as to not embarrass you or piss him off. It worked, telling by the large box Chenle gift wrapped for you.

Taking Hendery’s lead, you opened the box to reveal a very nice, expensive hair care kit, meanwhile Hendery cheered over the expensive watch he got. Jesus, how much money did Chenle really have?

“Mmm… Yuta next?”

“I thought he was in Japan, when did he have time to send us gifts?”

Hendery laughed. “I have my ways.”

Yuta’s gifts were smaller, but you honestly didn’t care about the size or the price, you were just grateful to be getting anything at all, even if it were due to Hendery’s strong arming.

Your jaw dropped when you opened the gift, immediately shutting the box and trying to hide it from Hendery. But it was too late. His attention was caught. With a laugh, he begged to see what it was, but you refused shyly, keeping the box out of his reach. Hendery laughed harder and stretched over your body in an attempt to steal the box, but the further you leaned away, the more he leaned over you, until eventually he was practically on top of you. Both of you froze. Hendery cleared his throat nervously. His gaze was glued to your lips while you were staring at his eyes to figure out what he was thinking about.

“It can’t be that bad,” he croaked, keeping the topic on Yuta’s gift. “Did he get you something mean? I’ll punch him for you.”

“He’d beat you up.”

“He’s not as scary as he looks.”

“Neither are you.”

Hendery smirked slightly, then used your lowered guard as his opportunity to steal the box before sitting upright on the couch and opening the box. He paused. You also sat up and looked at him rather than the gift.

“Oh.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I wonder what he got me, then.” He chuckled.

Both of you were silent as Hendery opened his gift from Yuta, revealing a pair of fluffy handcuffs meant for sex, hidden beneath a stack of condoms and a letter that read: “Hope these are the right size. Have fun.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think he’d be a dumbass.” Hendery closed his box and set it to the side. You stared at your open gift that remained on his lap. “I’ll return them—”

“Wait.”

Yuta’s gift to Hendery had been a bit more on the nose than the gift to you. In your box was a vibrator with a note that said: “Don’t let him pussy out this time.” And you immediately regretted ever opening up to Yuta about the time you and Hendery nearly fucked— It was a moment of weakness, alright? You were confused, and frankly a bit hurt, and you knew that if you went to anyone really close to Hendery they would lie to you or tell him you were asking around about it, so… You went to someone you knew would give an honest opinion about sex and Henderyl but you never imagined that it would prompt him to send the two of you gifts that screamed, “Just fuck already!”

Was he wrong, though?

It’d been a while since the two of you started dating, and you were already talking about meeting each other’s families and spending White Day together. Was it really outrageous to expect that maybe you and Hendery could finally…

“I’ll keep it,” you told him.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to buy one.”

His eyes widened. “Really?”

“Mhm.”

With a faux sense of confidence, you retrieved your gift and set it to the side so that it was out of sight, out of mind for Hendery.

“What about yours?” you egged on. He looked confused and anxious. “Are you going to keep yours?”

Hendery looked at his closed gift to his far side. “I—” He choked on air. “I don’t know. Not sure when I’d even use it…” He couldn’t bear to look at you as he said it.

“Why not now?”

That brought his attention back to you, his still wide with shock, his hand on your thigh instinctively squeezing, all a sign of him asking if you were sure of what you were saying, like you were an idiot and hadn’t been thinking about it ever since dinner. It seemed fitting, right? Both of you losing your virginities on your birthday… And Yuta was somewhat of a help in instigating what you desired since it gave you a less awkward, or at least less direct, way of telling Hendery that you were ready if he was too.

“O-Okay— Yeah— I mean, if you’re sure, yeah, that’s fine with me too—”

“Not the handcuffs, though.”

Hendery really looked like a deer lost in headlights. Adorable. “Yeah, I never expected—” He tripped over his tongue a bit, causing him to pause. “Are you sure about this, qīn'ài de? Like, absolutely sure?”

You nodded silently, unsure if you would be able to bring yourself to say it out loud due to your embarrassment and the way you couldn’t look at him when his hand started anxiously kneading your thigh. But to your surprise, Hendery lifted your head with a finger under your chin. Then he asked one more time if you were really, really, really fucking sure. When you croaked, “Yes, I’m sure,” Hendery tangled his hands with yours, causing you to whine again at the feeling of his hand abandoning your leg. You squeezed his hands for leverage while you stood up. At eye level with you, Hendery leaned in to kiss you passionately, forcing you to stumble back a step accidentally until he caught you, then began slowly navigating you towards the bedroom.

“Condoms,” you mumbled against his lips.

“Shit— Right—”

Hendery pulled away from you entirely to run back to the couch to retrieve the gift box from Yuta. He was headed back your way when he stopped. You watched as he dug through the box, grabbing only two condoms, leaving the rest and the pair of handcuffs behind before dropping the box onto the couch and returning to you. You giggled as you embraced him for another kiss.  

Finally, the two of you were able to make it to the bedroom for real while giggling like a pair of immature idiots who could only laugh about the fact that you two a couple with no experience and that made the idea of having sex seem silly because if it wasn’t that, then it was nerve wracking, and neither of you wanted to think about that. At least he looked as on edge as you were. It comforted you to know that you weren’t alone in the experience or the feelings coursing through your body as Hendery laid you down on the bed gently with a hand cradling the back of your neck for support. Immediately, he tilted his head to begin attacking your neck. In the past, the two of you made out plenty, and as such you discovered that Hendery had a thing for hickies. Lots of them. Everywhere. Making them as noticeable as he could. Maybe that was why Yuta thought it was a good idea to gift such sexual items since it was clear from the get-go that Hendery was legit about keeping you and parading you around rather than just treating you like a one time or even a temporary thing.

However, what was completely new and unexpected was the way Hendery decided to grind his hips down, revealing to you how hard he was against your clothed clit. You let out an involuntary moan. Immediately, you grew embarrassed, trying to close your legs and hide away from him, but Hendery held your thighs open with his hands and he chuckled against your neck.

“Can I take this off?” he asked, hands already playing with the hem of your dress. After you nodded, Hendery leaned back slightly so that you had enough room to make space for pulling the dress up over your head. “Can I…” He stared at your chest. “I…”

It was obvious how Hendery was struggling to ask because he didn’t know where to begin with your bra, so you decided to teach him for future reference by unclasping it with ease then sliding the straps off your shoulders. Hendery looked like he was taking mental notes. Not only of how to undress you properly, but of every inch of your body that you were slowly revealing to him. When your bra fell onto the bed, Hendery’s breath shuddered as he couldn’t hold himself back from reaching out with both hands to play with them, fingers teasing your nipples, palms molding the plushness.

“I feel awkward,” you said, turning to look away from him. “You’re still dressed.”

“Oh. Right— Right, sorry, fuck, sorry.”

Hendery pulled away to start unbuttoning his dress shirt quickly before reaching down to fiddle with his belt. You looked at him again, admiring his abs, and the little bit of prickly hair on his pelvis that was growing in since the last time he shaved. When his belt was loose, Hendery unbuttoned and unzipped his dress pants, then carefully shimmied out of them while keeping his balance between your legs and on the soft texture of the mattress.

He laughed nervously while tossing his shirt to the side. “Better?”

“Much.”

As you reached up to bring him back down to you for a kiss, his hands went to your chest with an obvious stroke of courage overtaking him so that he could knead them for the first time in his life. His palms passed over his nipples, and you moaned suddenly. Hendery swallowed the noises you made with a smile, his hips grinding down again, and now that there was just your panties and his boxers between the two of you, you could feel the weight of his erection and the real size of him finally.

“Give me your hand,” you said between kisses.

Hendery surrendered his left hand to you, allowing you to take his wrist and guide him down to your pussy, letting his fingers catch on to your intentions by pushing your panties to the side. And then he stopped, unsure of what to do.

“Press your fingers here—” Following your instructions, Hendery’s fingers found your clit, making you jolt with pleasure.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, fuck, feels so good. Rub it in circles.”

So he did, slowly, like he was testing the waters, watching to see through your reactions if he was doing it right or wrong. When you moaned his name and kissed him again, he knew that he was succeeding.

He panted into our mouth, “You’re so wet, qīn'ài de.”

“It’s your fault… Teasing me all night.”

He smirked. “What’re you talking about?” His fingers changed direction and applied more pressure.

“Your hand on my leg at dinner…” You squeezed his biceps to cope with the overwhelming pleasure. “And while opening gifts.”

“Two gifts.”

“Still distracting.”

“Like this?” He started flicking your clit faster, working you towards an orgasm. You nodded desperately.

An unexpected grip on his wrist urged Hendery to keep going, but his fingers were slipping, and he was having trouble figuring out if he needed to do something different or keep going the same, and once he lost his momentum, his uncertainty kicked in, leaving you with a fading orgasm. To avoid having him feel ashamed of the fact that he’d been so close to making you orgasm but couldn’t quite get there, you played it smooth by instigating the next step.

“I need you in me.”

Hendery was so blinded with lustful thoughts of what being inside of you would feel like that he didn’t even put the pieces together about why you were insisting all of a sudden. He leapt at the opportunity, his fingers leaving your clit so that he could take off your panties before stripping out of his boxers. Much to your own embarrassment, you stared at his cock, wondering how the Hell he would fit in you… Was he as big and scary as some of the guys in shitty online porn? No. But he was still carrying a good size that was long enough to make you think that maybe he would hit a spot somewhere beneath your belly button, and there was enough girth that you contemplated what the stretch would feel like. Hendery was preoccupied with the condoms that he didn’t notice you staring.

The first step was opening the plastic bag the condom was in, which Hendery did with ease; However, it was the second step of putting the condom on that gave him trouble, his shaky hands having a difficult time figuring out which way it was supposed to go, and how to roll it on. You fell in love with him all over again in that moment. It was a silly thing to prompt the “I love this man with my whole heart” thought, but… Seeing him struggle with it, while completely naked, his body shaking with excitement and a touch of anxiety reminded you that he was human too, and that he was just as in love with you and the idea of being with you as you were with him.

You figured it was in both of your best interests to lend him a helping hand, so you reached out to help him turn the condom the right way and put it on, but Hendery panicked.

“No, wait, wait, wait, I got it—” He fumbled with it again, his hips backing away from you. “If you touch me now, I might cum…” He blushed with embarrassment while you giggled to yourself. Both of you watched as he struggled for another few seconds to calm his shaking enough to get the opening of the condom to latch onto his tip before he rolled it down his length entirely. “Fucking asshole knew which size to get, too,” he whispered under his breath.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

Hendery leaned over you again, forcing you flat on your back, your head hitting the pillows. His arms bracketed your shoulders, making you feel pinned and small beneath him… The reality of the situation was becoming all too real. The two of you were naked, in his bed, ready to fuck, and he looked so fucking good— Shit.

“Just, um, tell me if I should do something differently… Okay?”

“Same,” you replied.

Hendery nodded, strands of brown hair falling in front of his eyes while he took his dick in one of his hands so that he could line himself up with your entrance.

“There… Right?”

You giggled. “Yeah.”

He looked even more embarrassed about having to make sure, but that was better than going for it and ending up in the wrong hole unexpectedly. And, besides, you thought it was cute. Slowly, Hendery began sliding inside of you without any warning, looking down at where your bodies met to make sure that he was doing it right and wasn’t fucking anything up. When you winced, however, Hendery hesitated.

“Shit, I’m sorry—”

“No, it’s okay.”

“Does it hurt?”

“A little.”

Hendery hesitated. “I’m sorry.”

You tried to comfort him and simultaneously ease your own nerves by pulling him in for a passionate kiss that he melted into almost immediately. Only his tip was inside of you, but it already stung. More than you expected. The lack of experience with toys or partners meant you couldn’t guess what it would feel like, and the stretch you were contemplating earlier was all too noticeable.

“Okay,” you whispered against his lips.

Another few inches slowly entered you. Instead of wincing like before, you moaned a euphoric sound followed by his name— His real name. He snickered. Whenever you used his real name, it was either when you were extremely pissed off, or extremely in love with him… Sometimes he had a hard time telling the difference. But the way you were clinging to him desperately, inviting him to fill you up more and more, and you were moaning for him, he knew that you were so in love with him that you couldn’t think straight.

Once he was finally settling inside of you as far as he could go, both of you froze, waiting for the other to say or do something. Honestly, you would’ve preferred if Hendery just did it because you didn’t want to psych yourself out, but… He didn’t seem confident enough to make decisions on your behalf.

“You can move,” you told him confidently.

Hendery cautiously obeyed by pulling out about two inches before thrusting forward again. He continued soft, shallow movements for a little bit to not only help you stretch around him, but also to keep him from cumming too fast.

“Is this okay?”

For a moment, you debated giving him the truthful answer or not… But you promised each other that you’d be honest and speak up if something needed to change. After his fumble getting you to an orgasm, you felt like it was about time to say something.

“You can pull out more, and go faster. I won’t break, I promise.”

That was the greenlight he needed to start fucking you in a way that felt more proper, which mirrored what he’d seen in porn and dreamt about every time he thought about what his first time with you would be like. His cock slowly dragged along your velvety walls as he pulled out until his tip was caught on your entrance, then all of a sudden, he thrusted all the way back into you. You dug your fingers into his back. Hendery grunted, moving to hide his face in the crook of your neck while his hips increased speed and roughness with every other thrust. His pathetic grunts mixed with your desperate moans were more lewd than you could’ve imagined. Your body was sensitive to his every touch. Roaming hands, his pelvis hitting your clit, his stomach touching yours, and his cock pumping out of you— That was the best part. It hurt at first, yes, but the longer you endured it, the more pleasurable it became. At one point you wondered if you’d be able to cum just by having him fuck you… One day, perhaps.

“I’m t-t-trying, qīn'ài de, I’m sorry.”

You tugged on his hair to keep him close as you whispered, “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.”

And that was enough to send Hendery over the edge, his whole weight collapsing on top of you as he groaned and finally came. At least you were pretty sure that was what happened. The way his length twitched inside of you and the condom shifted made you think that he was cumming… And his exhausted, hooded eyes seemed to indicate the same… You ran your fingers through his hair gently to comfort him while he came down from his high, his breath slowly returning to a normal pace. The whole thing seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. From the moment he pushed into you to his climax dwindling to an end, it was all said and done, and you felt a bit of whiplash in the moment.

“S-sorry…”

You laughed. “Why?”

“I couldn’t…” He hid his face in the crook of your neck to keep you from seeing his embarrassment. “I couldn’t make you cum.”

You laughed some more. “It’s okay. It was still fun.”

Slowly, Hendery pulled out of you, his gaze turned down to check on the condom before he slowly slid it off and carefully tied it off to keep it from spilling. And then he perked up with a sudden thought.

“Wait here.”

You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch as Hendery scrambled off the bed, tossed the condom in the trash, then on wobbly legs he ran out into the living room. You smiled to yourself. How the fuck he still had all that energy after fucking you was a mystery. What shocked you, though, was when he returned, it was with your newly gifted sex toy in hand, his brows furrowed with confusion.

“Is this thing charged? Does it need batteries? How the fuck does it work?”

“Batteries, baby,” you told him.

Hendery hurried over to his gaming desk and took his Xbox controller out to steal the batteries from inside to use in the toy instead. Of course that would be his solution instead of just getting new batteries like a normal person would…

“Why’s this so difficult?” he complained under his breath while struggling to put the batteries in the right way. “Fuck me.” Finally, he got the batteries in. With his knees to support him on the mattress while his hands were busy, Hendery found his place between your thighs again, admiring your slick that drenched the bed and your inner thighs. He gulped. “You’re so fucking pretty, qīn'ài de.” He dared to take a taste for himself. With his tongue spread flat, he licked a long, slow stripe up from your core to your clit, and he chuckled when your back arched off the bed and you tangled your fingers in his hair again. “Taste so good… Fuck…” He bit his lip. Somehow he was already getting hard again, but he tried his best to ignore it in favor of pleasing you. “Let’s see if this thing is worth keeping, yeah?”

You nodded shyly. “Okay…”

Hendery turned the vibrator on and fidgeted with the settings for a moment before he aimed the head of the bulb against your swollen clit. The second it made contact with you, you jolted, hands clinging to the sweaty sheets beneath you. He focused solely on your pussy, trying to figure out the best way to settle the toy on the hood of your clit instead of directly on it, then he discovered moving it around to your wet entrance and back up got a good reaction out of you too. If he left it still for too long, you whined and squirmed. So Hendery made sure to roll it around your clit in various directions and patterns, and before you knew it, one of his fingers was teasing your entrance then slowly pushing into you. Hendery seemed pleased with himself when you moaned his name.

“How do I…” he drifted off when he got too embarrassed to finish his question.

Your reached down with a shaky hand to grab his wrist and slowly began teaching him how to thrust his fingers in and out of you. “C-curl them, too… When you’re all the way in— Fuck, just like that, baby—“

He bit his lip in concentration as his fingers continued to curl when he was in you, then he’d relax so that he could pull out before pushing back in and continuing to search for your g-spot. It took a few tries. By the time he hit it, you were already close, your orgasm sneaking up on you thanks to the vibrator he was rolling over your sensitive nub.

“Don’t stop,” you begged him with a croak, grasping his hand tighter. Hendey’s arm muscles strained under your grasp while maintaining his pace. “I’m cumming!”

Your back arched off the bed, your walls tightened around his fingers, and your clit pulsed against the vibrator he refused to weaken his hold on. His fingers bullied your g-spot to help you ride out your orgasm. Hendery watched you go from moaning pleasantly to squirming under him while whining that it was too much, that you were too sensitive; His cruelty was wavered by your panting.

“That was better. Right?” He turned off the toy and removed his fingers from you.

You nodded, breathless. “Much.”

“You got so tight when you came… Fuck…”

“Imagine what’ll feel like when you’re fucking me.”

Hendery’s eyes glossed over his lust again, his cock jumping with excitement as he leaned in to kiss you. “I love you so fucking much, qīn'ài de.”

“I love you more.”

Birthday sex became an event in and of itself. After that first year, Hendery couldn’t shake the thought of sharing his birthday with you every year for the rest of his life, and as such, he wanted to try new and different things each time. The handcuffs happened in year two— Yuta seemed pleased with himself. He patted Hendery on the back and took credit for helping him lose his virginity to you. Year three had you on your hands and knees, ass up in the air, clawing at the sheets, begging for him to cum inside of you. By year four, Hendery couldn’t stop staring at the engagement ring on your finger while you jerked him off in the living room while your favorite movie played in the background. Some of the boys liked to joke that they didn’t have to get you guys gifts anymore since the “sex fiends” that you were decided date night and birthday sex was enough gifts between the two of you; However, Hendery’s threats still held true when he told all his friends that they still owed you gifts at the very least. Nine months after year six, the two of you celebrated a different birthday, which became Hendery’s favorite thing to celebrate aside from your own shared birthday in September.

[itsabouttimex2]

May I ask

Which characters will include in the primal moon scenario ?

Essentially, whichever characters I can think of scenarios for- writing Monkiefam was pretty easy, because monkeys have complex hierarchies to draw from. I spent a while observing different species at a local zoo (they’re mean. God, they’re so mean.) and decided to write a fic based on the behaviors I saw. (I’ll post that video at the bottom!)

Despite their status as the lowest ranked member of the ‘troop’, Wukong sees Y/N as his biological child. He won’t listen to any arguments about the difference in age or species, no matter what evidence is presented to refute him. Macaque is seen as his ‘little brother’, their rivalry temporarily forgotten. (Though only on Wukong’s end.)

The Great Sage is just lucid enough to recognize MK as his cherished student, and tries to give him advice… but his mind is a little too muddled by viridescence to offer anything sound. He also accidentally enables the worst of Primal!MK’s traits by complimenting and comforting him whenever things go wrong.

He’s thankfully rather laidback about the whole thing, only getting violent when he feels that his ‘family’ or status are threatened.

Macaque returns to his long-forgotten docile demeanor, a remnant of his days as a member of the Sworn Brotherhood- though he tries to fight the shift. It butchers the simian’s pride to resume a position of submissiveness, especially now that it’s to two people- one of whom may well be a teenager. Also, he’s sincerely desperate for comfort and companionship, so he spends most of the week fighting himself to not participate in any bonding activities.

He’ll make a ‘rank-scaling’ attempt or two, only to get beaten down and potentially pushed behind even Y/N in terms of status if he does it enough.

Sun Wukong->MK->Macaque->Y/N is the troop ranking, and it’s pretty rigid.

MK is, uh… in a pretty rough state. He’s never had any preparation for the Primal Moon, thinking himself a regular human for almost the entire time that he’s been alive.

———————————————————————

Honestly, it’s Tang that gives me the hardest time! assuming we can call upon his cicada ancestry, he’s- got absolutely nothing. Female cicadas use their ovipositors to slice into thin branches many times, leaving clutches of eggs as they go- that’s about as far as parental instincts go for them, given that they and the males die soon after breeding. (The males, in fact, die pretty much directly after.) I guess I’d place him with Princess Iron Fan and Ne Zha as the ‘normal’ guys.

Pigsy is, as you know- a male pig. Who are notorious piglet-killers. Eating piglets, stepping on piglets, rolling over and crushing piglets- intentionally killing entire piglet litters to force females back into estrus- it gets pretty brutal. So I still haven’t figured out what I want to do with him for this story- though I imagine he’ll be aggressive/hair-trigger, with Tang being the one thing that holds him back.

———————————————————————

Mei was pretty easy to write, but I did a lot of research on Chinese dragons in order to keep my representation of her respectful. Dragons in the west are usually reduced to bloodthirsty beasts of pride and rage- creatures to be slain and overcome as monstrous final obstacles. This portrayal even dates back to Beowulf, with the dragon portrayed then going on to characterize many dragons that came after it. (For example, Smaug was based partly on Beowulf’s dragon, and partly on Fafnir- so if any others dragons are based on Smaug, then they too call back upon the original.

In Chinese culture, dragons are considered wise and powerful beings. They’re worshipped as symbols of prosperity and good luck, and considered very auspicious beings.

So, Mei seems more composed in this AU- but it’s all an act. Given the stigma that non-humans have on account of the Primal Moon, she spends a lot of time pretending to be something that she’s not so that no one ends up being afraid. Mei’s obsession with with Y/N primarily stems from their complete acceptance of who she is, inside and out. Instead of having to pretend to be dignified and wise and rational, she gets to be the real Mei. She can goofy and energetic with you, not afraid to roughhouse or throw hands.

———————————————————————-

For Bullfam, I think Princess Iron Fan very much would be the ‘only sane man’- if two things weren’t occurring:

1. Her husband wasn’t trying to talk her into having a second child and worshipping her every step, his tongue spinning crude admirations of her beauty and battle prowess.

2. Her son wasn’t clinging to her waist and arms, begging for validation and attention, futilely trying to drag her into his workshop to compliment his blueprints and machines.

So she has her boy (after some headpats and a little bit of buttering up) run off to the surface and snatch a suitably young human who’s been left unattended, imposing them as a temporary ‘second child’ and ‘younger sibling’… before getting attached. Even though they were supposed to be disposable, she works them into a more permanent fixture of her family.

Given that Red Son is the one who picks you out, he feels a special bond with you. Instead of being more aggressive or even prouder- Red gets clingy. His desire for love and respect comes to the forefront, leading him to latch onto Y/N as tightly as possible. Hugs, headpats, back rubs, hair combing- he wants affection in as many forms as possible. I like to think he temporarily grows horns during the Primal Moon, and that he really likes having them rubbed and polished.

And as for Demon Bull King… this man is already aggressive as hell and pretty damn tempestuous, seeing red at the drop of a hat. So, with very little inhibition as is, he’s the sort of demon hit hardest. Bull King’s mental faculties degrade by a touch or two, rendering him very animalistic. He’s the opposite of Mei here- she puts herself through a ton of suppression and training and it all pays off spectacularly. He actively leans into the instincts and new power the viridescence brings, reveling in a more bestial state.

So, while Y/N openly and freely gives Mei love and affection, they instead cower and hide from Demon Bull King.

He wants more kids. Wants to spend more time with his wife. Wants to fight and break and feast. And when Y/N is abducted brought home, his aggression outright doubles. This is kinda good, though- now he’s so protective that he’s pacing the fortress in hourly patrols, wearing himself out as he digs deep grooves into the earth, carving his sigil into the stones around him many times over, marking the territory as inextricably his.

And all he wants upon returning home is a nap- with his entire family piled onto the bed, of course.

———————————————————————

Also, if anyone has recommendations for how characters should act, I’d be happy to hear them!

[recentadultburnout]

Info for writer in Thai series fandom: Pronouns and prefixes

Phi, Nong, Hia, Jèe, Tee, Muay, Khun, Phom, Nai, Tur, Nhu, Taan, Chan,Rao, Gae, Mung, Gu, Man

Gender-neutral

The pronouns or prefixes chosen for themselves and others will depend on a lot of factors such as age, preexisting relationship, mood, place, and occasion. And it has no rigid rule one can refer to. Sometimes it will change rapidly. Sometimes it will stay the same.

In one conversation, one can use more than one set with the same person.

Sometimes it might be chosen after a thought process and careful consideration, but most of the time it's likely just habit or instinct.

พี่ Phi

Can be used with or without a name.

Polite but not particularly formal

Can be used to refer to the first, second, or third person.

The literal meaning is "elder sibling," but it can be used to call anyone older. And since it's polite but not too formal, it gets used all the time. The chance that someone will get offended by being called Phi is really low. It can also refer to a lover, despite being a family term. I understand that it might look a bit weird when someone tries to translate it to English and decides to use bro or something along that line, but it's normal here.

Sometimes older relatives will call a child in their family that has a younger sibling Phi, and in that case, the child might call themselves Phi when speaking to them too. But that is the only situation I know of where the one Phi refers to, in a non-teasing way, is younger. (Not counting times where both parties didn't know each other's age and so they both insisted on calling the other Phi to be polite.)

When someone calls themselves Phi, they might refer to the other party as nong, khun, nai, tur, nhu, name, or pet name.

น้อง Nong

Gender-neutral

Can be used with or without a name.

Polite but since Thai culture focuses on respecting the elderly a lot, terms that are used to address someone younger can sometimes be seen as disrespectful.

Can be used to refer to the first, second, or third person.

Nong is Phi's counterpart. Its literal meaning is "younger sibling." It is mostly used in the same way as Phi, but for younger people. And, unless they are related, when someone calls themselves Nong, they will likely only refer to the other party as phi (with or without a name). As for when they are related, like, when they talk to their grandma, and they refer to themselves as nong+name they, for obvious reasons, will refer to Grandma as Grandma rather than Phi.

เฮีย Hia

Masculine

Can be used with or without name.

Casual

Can be used to refer to the first, second, or third person.

The literal meaning is "elder brother" but get use for older man in general too. The word has Chinese roots (Teochew dialect), so if someone is referred to as "hia", it's safe to assume he has a Chinese ancestor, but not all people who have a Chinese ancestor will be referred to by the word that has Chinese roots. It's up to their personal preference. The same is true for jèe, tee, and muay.

เจ๊ Jèe or Che or Jay (I'm not sure how to write this in english)

Feminine

Can be used with or without name.

Casual

Can be used to refer to the first, second, or third person.

The literal meaning is "elder sister." For some reason, people use it to call women who are in charge of small businesses a lot, especially in the restaurant and construction industries. While it's not exactly rude, many people don't like it.

ตี๋ Tee

Masculine

Use without a name.

Casual

Can be used to refer to the first, second, or third person.

The literal meaning is "younger brother." Sometimes it gets used as a nickname or to describe people who have light skin and single eyelids. Most don't see it as a negative thing. People won't use it to refer to other people's younger brothers in the same way that you use the word "younger brother." For example, they won't say "how your tee is doing" but they might say "how tee is doing."

หมวย Muay

Feminine

Used without a name.

Casual

Can be used to refer to the first, second, or third person.

The literal meaning is "younger sister". Used just like tee.

All four hia, jèe, tee, and muay may say with ah in the front. like ah-muay, ah-hia It didn't add or change any meaning of the word. It's just a sound.

คุณ Khun

Gender-neutral

can be used with or without a name.(I kind of feel like Khun with the name can be a bit more respectful and Khun without a name can be a bit more casual)

Formal

can be used to refer to a second or third person.

It can be translated to you, miss, mister, sir, etc. It can also be translated to virtue, benefit, and the like in other contexts, but we won't talk about that.

Most formal settings will use khun, with the exception of those who have a rank or special prefix like doctor or soldier. In the workplace, co-workers will use khun to call each other if they are not yet close. In a hospital, the doctor and nurse will use khun to call the patient, and the patient will add khun to the word that means doctor and nurse when calling them. In universities, many professors use khun when they talk to students. Even in school, specifically in my class, we used to call each other Khun(without names) before we grew up and gradually became more familiar with bad words like Gu(กู) and Mung(มึง).

**If we already call someone using "Khun + name" as a second person, then it is likely to be used as a third person too.

But just because it's not quite casual doesn't mean it can't be intimate. Many lovers will call each other khun. In some pairs they will both use it. In some pairs only one of them will use it and the other may use their lover's name or pet name. Like my grandparents, my grandma called my grandpa khun+name and he called her by her name.

If only one of them used khun to address the other, the chance is they are the younger of the pair. 

The pairs that used khun were usually people who had used it since the beginning before they got together. But they might just try many ways to call each other and then decide that they like it best.

ผม Phom

Masculine

used without a name.

Quite formal and polite.

used to refer to the first person only.

translated to "I". It is a common way to call themselves as it is appropriate for all ages and all occasions. Children call themselves that when they talk to their mom and all the other adults in their life. A grown man called himself that when he talked to his subordinate and supervisor alike. It may be paired with khun, tur, tan, nai, phi, hia, jèe, or other party names.

นาย Nai

Masculine

used without a name.(when used as a pronoun)

casual pronoun that is quite polite, an official title for every man aged more than 15 years old, and can also be translated to boss, owner, employer, etc. But in this chapter we are going to talk about it as a pronoun only.

It can be used to refer to a second or third person. But for the third person, it will be in a very specific form. It will be along the lines of "that person/that one (นายคนนั้น-nai-kon-nan), you remember right?" And nothing else. At least there is nothing else I can think of.

It translates to "you". It's not the most popular nowadays, but it's not very rare either. It is mostly used among friends and people around the same age.

เธอ Tur

Gender-neutral but can be considered a little more feminine than masculine in the present time.

used without a name.

It is polite but only used to address someone who is at the same or lower level, never higher.

Technically, it can refer to both the second and third person. However, it is mostly used in the second person these days. It can be seen as a quite sweet way to call others. Many couples used it.

หนู Nhu

Gender-neutral but considered more feminine than masculine.

It can be used with or without a name.

can be used to refer to the first, second, or third person.

It is used by young boys and girls to call themselves when talking to older people, but when most of the boys grow up a little, they will likely stop using it. In their teen years, it's quite rare to see them call themselves that, except when they talk to their mom or people they used to use it with when growing up. Most of the girls will stop too, but a lot slower. Some (not the majority in my opinion, but I also wouldn't say it's that small of a percentage) might use it well into adulthood, like until most people around them are not that older than them anymore, and some, typically those who view their position as low in social standing, will use it even with people younger than them (but in a higher position in their opinion). When it's used by older people to call younger people, it's usually to girls more than boys and quite a young person more than an adult. It is possible to offend the receiver by calling them nhu since it can be seen as not taking them seriously, belittle them, or treat them like a child. It's polite to call yourself nhu, but by doing that, you risk presenting yourself as in a lower position than who you speak with, young, and not in a position of power. 

ท่าน taan

Gender-neutral

It can be used with or without a name.

polite and formal.

can be used to refer to both second and third persons.

can be translated to you, he or she. It's used when we call someone with a lot of respect. For example, royalty, monk, CEO, your cat whom you will serve and die for, president.

ฉัน chan

Gender-neutral

used without a name.

Polite

used to refer to the first person only.

translated to "I". Used when talking to someone the same age or younger a lot more than when talking to someone older. Get paired with khun, tur, gae, and taan. 

เรา Rao

Gender-neutral

used without a name.

Polite

Can be used to refer to the first, or second person.

Translate to I, we, or once in a while, you. Polite way to say "I", and a normal and not more polite than usual way to say "we". It's usually used only with people in the same age group. It was used as "I" by Ae from love by chance.

แก gae

Gender-neutral

used without a name.

A little rude, but less rude than Mung.

It can be used to refer to both second and third persons. But the second person is more common than the third person.

translated to "you." Many girls in BL used it. It can be used by anyone at any age to call anyone the speaker is close to or isn't afraid to be rude to.

มึง Mung

Gender-neutral

used without a name.

Rude

used to refer to the second person only.

The meaning is "you." 

กู Gu

Gender-neutral

used without a name.

Rude

used to refer to the first person only.

The meaning is "I."

Both Mung and Gu get used in the series all the time, so I don't know what to add, but it feels weird if I don't include it.

มัน Man

Gender-neutral

used without a name.

Rude

used to refer to the third person only.(if used as pronoun)

Translate to it(normal) or he/she(rude).

+Bonus

"You" and "I" in English as a pronoun when speak Thai.

It's not that common, but it's also not that weird. People who do that are those who typically also use many other English words. As for the situation, it should be in a casual setting with people who are on the same level or lower in social status, i.e., not an elder, teacher, boss, ect. And like in English, you and I are gender neutral.

Used only the name all the way, no other pronouse.

as a first person

It's more feminine than masculine, since it's seen as an attempt to be cute. I did use it with my family growing up, so it was natural for me to always use it with them, but when I used it with my friends, I did it with the intention of irritating them by acting overly cute. 

as a second person

It's also more feminine(?), but for the speaker, not the name's owner. I'm not so sure about why. I just don't see men do it(except with kids). You should be at some level of closeness before you do it. I usually use it with my classmate, who I am not super close with but not, not close either. I guess it's just my default when I don't want to be rude bu also afraid to be overly polite and weird them out.

Used name to refer to a third person is just a normal way of speaking.

Some titles used in Khun Chai's explanation

Here

Other things

There are no words for your, his, and her in Thai, so if it can be translated to you, it can also be your and so on.

Calling someone noticeably older only by their name is not a common practice and can easily be seen as rude. There is always a prefix one can and should add when addressing someone older.

People who met in a casual setting, have some level of closeness, attempt to be close, or are just easygoing usually use the same word set for family to call each other. You can see some in Chapter 14 if you want to. It's kind of the default choice, actually.

Index

[bg3-bitching]

so. okay. bg3 & asian characters. for our purposes i will be talking about helsik and cazador—note that they are both characters with east asian features. this is because, as far as i know, there are no south/southeast asians (at least, not with speaking roles). this is the first of our problems.

quick harper branthos mention btw. i love him. he's not got enough of a speaking role to be relevant here but i love him all the same

let's look at helsik from the devil's fee. during your first conversation with her, she mentions being a follower of "lord mammon". she requests payment for information, and will tell all for obscene prices. it's basically daylight robbery. also, for people who don't know, mammon as a character represents greed and avarice, and is often depicted as one of the princes of hell. she embodies the east asian (usually chinese) scammer trope—she tries to get you to give her all your money and then some. so like. that's not a great portrayal of asian people, and she's maybe the second one we've seen so far?

then we have cazador, who is. at least visually based on fu manchu which isn't a good association lmao (fu manchu is a fictional supervillain who uhhh. embodies the evil genius/mad scientist trope. the stache cazador has is named after him). so that's a bad look! not to mention that over the game, cazador has been built up as an evil, manipulative, abusive shithead who is also the villain of the favorite white boy's narrative. his whole shtick in the later half of the game is the rite of profane ascension, a demonic rite in which he must sacrifice seven thousand souls for power. so not only is he the source of all the favorite white boy's problems, but he's power-hungry as well.

wow! you may be thinking. what a weird coincidence that these two characters are tied to diabolic rituals!

isn't it just? it's almost reminiscent of how east asian people have been called yellow devils in the past!

sorry about the sarcasm but it's just tiring at this point. thank you, larian! thank you so much!

Good fucking God Almighty.

Larian how do manage to fuck up the only two notable Asian characters in the game that badly??? (It's by not having anyone Asian be prominent in making the game) ((I also hate how broad the term 'Asian' is, as if Asia is monolithic))

Since he was brought up, I want to say how uncomfortable I feel seeing and using the word "slave" to describe Astarion's situation with Cazador. Yes that is technically what he was, but should we really be saying a white man is a slave? ESPECIALLY when his "master" (big yikes) has POC features? It's giving "Persecution Flip" trope.

Thank you for sending this! It's good for people to see these harmful tropes and stereotypes so they can spot them when they happen.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Bai Heb is reincarnation of one of the Emperor's daughters? Bai He adopted by Wukogn and Macaque and neither realizing this is the Jade Emperor's daughter because the daughter she was the reincarnation of was one of the few that were never public knowledge? Jade Emperor discovering this when he lays dying and realized the mortal girl Sun Wukong had tried so hard to legally adopt and care for in both the eyes of the gods and the eyes of mortals is none other than his own daughter because he'd never met her in person?

referencing the weird dream I had about Bai He interacting with the Jade Emperor and the Queen Mother.

I think thats what the dream was implying.

Jade Emperor and Queen Mother have some bad history regarding their daughters.

The specific one mentioned in the dream - Zhinu? She was the seventh born and a goddess of weaving; she wove clouds into heavenly vestements for her parents.

And is the protag of "The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl".

One day she fell in love with a mortal cowherd named Niu Lang. A big celestial no-no. Especially she and Niu Lang had two kids. A even bigger celestial no-no!

Zhinu feels homesick one day and uses her enchanted cloud-clothing to visit her parents. But they won't let her leave. The Queen Mother is so adamant on keeping Zhinu from Earth that she tears a rip in the sky that becomes the Heavenly River (the Milky Way).

On earth, Niu Lang figured out that his wife has been kidnapped by her family. His loyal ox turns out to be a disposed god of cattle (weird detail but who knows, maybe Shennong was hanging around) who manages to boat Niu Lang and the two kids to a spot just across the Heavenly River where the married couple can see, but not touch one another. Only once a year can divine birds help carry the family across the river to reunite with Zhinu.

The story is meant to be an explanation for the literally "star-crossed" stars Vega and Altair (with baby stars Beta-Aquilae/Alshain and Gamma-Aquilae/Tarazed their kids) which meet eachother along the Milky Way once a year.

Not much more stories come from what happens to Zhinu and her mortal family after wards. But I imagine she's not on speaking terms with her parents. In my LMK idea, they're chilling in a piece of deep space away from the nonsense of the Celestial Realm. Having literally become stars and transcended the cycle of rebirth in a way that none of the celestials can imagine.

In addition to Zhinu, my chinese mythos storyline has the royal couple have had a falling out with;

Songzi (1st born) - was so disgusted by their treatment of Zhinu that she willingly went into the cycle of rebirth and eventually became Guanyin, Bodhisattva of Mercy.

Yin Wuming (2nd born) - reincarnated and became a demon hunter + Nezha's mother, and rejected the offer of reascension.

Princess Iron Fan (born after Zhinu) - who was expelled for falling in love/marrying the Demon Bull King.

So where does Bai He fall into this?

No idea.

Then again... imagine the heartbreak that would have occured if their truly youngest/last-born did not survive their earliest years. A daughter that they hid from a world ravaged by celestial war, but ultimately lost anyway to disease or misfortune. They would never by able to recover emotionally.

Now imagine that tiny soul reincarnated into a little mortal girl, who somehow contained enough divine power to harbour the White Bone Demon (a possible avatar of death itself) and not immeditaly breakdown into dust?

A pair of stone monkeys and/or a human scholar and a pig are now accidentally the guardians of the youngest Celestial Princess. Very magical girl-esque backstory for Bai He.

And the Jade Emperor only realises how familar the little girl at his side is in his final moments...

[balanceoflightanddark]

Restless Souls: the Origins of the Most Evil Godzilla

It's no secret to anyone that Godzilla has run almost the entire morality spectrum in terms of morality in his 60+ career. He's gone from being an allegory for the hydrogen bomb to a destructive force of nature to a defender of the earth and back again, sometimes within the same film. It is to be expected for a series that's been around for so long with various creators having their own interpretations and view of the character, and how societal norms have changed over the years.

In this regard, the version seen in Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All Out Attack (or GMK for short) is...unique.

This particular version of the king of the monsters is widely considered to be the most malevolent he's ever been. Granted, he's no stranger to being a bad guy and causing catastrophic amounts of death and destruction. But this incarnation is especially monstrous. There's a number of times where he almost seems to smile or sneer at the terrified civilians he's killing, whereas most versions are just rage incarnate. Even his design looks wrong, with those milky white blank eyes making him appear more like a ghoulish harbinger of death as opposed to any actual animal.

Well...there's an in-universe reason for why this particular Godzilla is so destructive than normal.

Hirotoshi Isayama: “This animal contains the restless souls of the countless people who perished during the terrible battles that took place during the Pacific conflict.”

Yuri Tachibana: “Their souls? In Godzilla?”

Hirotoshi Isayama: “In Godzilla, the souls of all those people have combined to bring life to the monster. Believe me, I have tried to warn people but they refused to listen. They think I'm mad.”

Yuri Tachibana: “But tell me, why does Godzilla keep attacking Japan? Why does it want to destroy us?”

Hirotoshi Isayama: “Because the Japanese people want to forget what happened... They have deemed it preferable to forget the pain and agony they inflicted on all those people!”

(Copied from Wikizilla)

To sum up, this version of Godzilla is explicitly said to be supernatural in origin. He's effectively the amalgamation of millions of souls that were killed in the Pacific and Chinese theaters that were unable to rest in death possessing the corpse of the original Godzilla that was killed in the first movie. And when you have that much undiluted hate and malice in one giant undead monster, you have a recipe for a particularly malevolent entity.

Interestingly enough, Japanese folklore does tell of a similar entity which might have inspired the creators.

According to Yokai.com, the Gashadokuro is a particularly terrifying yokai. The amalgamation of the souls of fallen soldiers who were denied proper burials, the Gashadokuro is a gigantic skeletal monstrosity formed by the bones and skulls of the deceased and animated by an unearthly hatred for the living that denied them their rest. Nearly unstoppable due to its size and strength, the Gashadokuro was a nightmarish being who's whole existence was to wreck havoc and death upon the world.

Given how spiritual beliefs and legends play in the narrative of GMK, Godzilla does have an uncanny resemblance to the Gashadokuro. Him going out of his way to kill civilians and innocents lines up perfectly with the Gashadokuro's hatred for mortals. Even his design looks less like a living animal and more like a corpse, with dead blank eyes, bony spines, and a bloated stomach full of decomposing gasses. And ultimately, he was almost unstoppable in the film, killing off three monsters awakened to defeat him and the majority of the JSDF. All of which lines up with the legend.

Which is what makes this version of Godzilla so destructive and malevolent. All that rage and hate of the restless dead created this monstrosity who's only purpose was to hurt and kill. Effectively, he's less a living being, and more an unrelenting engine of death and hate.

[jttw-monkeybusiness]

Heya, Celibacy Question Anon again

I fully know the blog is centered around an AU, I was merely asking because the ethics of making an AU for something that isn't a show and is an actual religion is pretty shaky since actual religious text is pretty different from a form of entertainment media

I'll be honest, I mainly asked because I have seen and heard multiple accounts of Buddhists saying that personifying JTTW in such a way, especially in erasing/tweaking Wukong's celibacy, is extremely disrespectful

So I wanted to be sure that you were aware of the fact that many Buddhists do say that treating JTTW like it's some sort of fandom media (where you would make AUs rather than interpretations of said text) is very disrespectful (and even in interpretations, outright ignoring his celibacy is still considered wrong. Even if it may has been done before, my concern here is that a lot of worshipers of Wukong has said it's disrespectful)

Hello! First I want to say that what I will say in this text is not directly towards you, anon! I say this in general! What I understood is that this blog and AU are inspired by Journey To The West which is not a religion. It is a great Chinese work of fiction written presumably by Wu Chengen in the XVI century. I would argue it's one of the best Chinese novels of all time that I think everyone should read. Yes, it has a real religion that is Buddhism, but the main focus is the novel derives its material from folk tales and myths. That's how I at least take it when I read it. The author of the novel deliberately uses mutually interpretative terms which allow different experts, scholars, and religious practitioners to interpret the novel as an allegory of Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, Christianity etc. So Buddhism is not the main religion if we want to go very deeply into it. I personally think Journey To The West tells a story of spiritual transformation that happens to Wukong for example. While the meaning of religious symbolism can be understood in different ways depending on your own religion and background I think most people agree it's about seeking the truth and salvation for the soul. That's what I want to add to my AU and how I see JTTW in general. So for your point, I will answer as best as I can bc English is not my native language and I don't want to cause any drama or hate. When it comes to pop culture and media, I understand that there must be people who don't like JTTW AU's bc the creators, like myself, want to explore the possibilities and make our own stories for fun and entertainment. I personally think if the people in Buddhism and people who worship Wukong want to have their voice heard they should focus on companies that make a profit. Shouldn't this logic also include Lego Monkey Kid which was based on Journey To the West? Their version of Wukong is not exactly the same as in the novel in my honest opinion and the story could easily be someone's AU (and technically it is!) but it has become full-on animation series that makes money. I'm not trying to be disrespectful to anyone! I'm just trying to open the other door in here. I don't get any money from making this blog. I do this for fun bc JTTW is a novel that I love. Do some Buddhists and people who worship Wukong hate it and find it disrespectful? Maybe yes, but again JTTW is a novel and that's how I view it. It's like saying Christian people hate any movies where they make fun of Jesus Christ like Family Guy. That's not even the worst yet! I'm saying this as someone who used to be a Christian.

What I am saying is that you can't please everyone. I am aware that people might not like what I do, but I know that legally I am not doing anything wrong. I can't please people who are religious. I don't think I have tried to be disrespectful at least not intentionally. If I would I think people would have said it a long time ago.

I hope this gave you some satisfaction or a better idea of why I love JTTW.

[fatehbaz]

Yes, it is critical to acknowledge the centrality of Britain to the world economy in order to understand how Chinese and Indian tea fitted into it. [...] Asian tea relied on forms of employment [...] such as independent family farms in China and indentured ‘coolies’ in India. [...] It would be very difficult to explain how and why Asian tea became driven by the modern dynamics of accumulation then, unless we connect China and India to the broader global division of labor, centered on the most cutting-edge industrial sectors in the north Atlantic. [...] But I also wish to reframe the idea of British capital as “protagonist,” because when we think about capital, agency is a weird thing. [...] Nothing about accumulation is inherently loyal to this or that region, though it has been concentrated in certain sites, such as nineteenth-century Britain or twentieth-century US, and it has been territorialized by nationalist institutions. Thus, although British firms drove the Asian tea trade at first, by the twentieth century Indian and Chinese nationalists alike protested British capital [...].

Most economic histories were focused on whether other countries could ever develop into nineteenth-century England. For labor historians, Mike Davis recently wrote, the “classical proletariat” was the working classes of the North Atlantic from 1838-1921. These modular assumptions jump out when you flip through the classics of Asian economic and labor history, almost always focused on some sort of textile industry (silk, cotton, jute) and in cities such as Shanghai, Osaka, Bombay, Calcutta. By contrast, I was really inspired by a field pioneered by South Asia scholars known as “global labor history” — especially the work of Jairus Banaji — which has been critical of the centrality of urban industry in economic history. Instead, these scholars reconsider labor in light of our current world of late capitalism, including transportation workers, agrarian families, servants, and unfree and coerced labor. These activities have enabled global capitalism to function smoothly for centuries but were overlooked because they did not share the spectacular novelty of the steam-powered factories of urban Europe, US, and Japan.

As far as how tea production worked: in simple terms, Chinese tea was a segmented trade and Indian tea was centralized in plantations known as ‘tea gardens.’ The Chinese trade relied on independent family farms, workshops in market towns, and porters ferrying tea to the coastal ports: Guangzhou (Canton) then later Fuzhou and Shanghai. By contrast, British officials and planters built Indian tea from scratch in Assam, which had not been nearly as commercialized as coastal China or Bengal. They first tried to replicate the ‘natural’ Chinese model of local agriculture and trade, but frustrated British planters ultimately decided to undertake all of the tasks themselves, from clearing the land to packaging the finished leaves. [...] Indian tea was championed as futuristic and mechanized. [...]

In India [...] the tea industry’s penal labor contract became one of the original cause célèbres of the nationalist movement in the 1880s. The plantations later became a site for strikes and hartals, the most famous occurring in the Chargola Valley in 1921. But even though tea workers chanted, “Gandhi Maharaj ki jai” at the time, Gandhi himself had allegedly visited Assam and declined to see the workers, meeting instead with British planters to assure them they were safe. While Indian nationalists had politicized indenture in Assam tea, their main complaint was the racialized split between British capital and Indian labor. Their remedy was not to liquidate the tea gardens but to diversify ownership over them. The cause of labor was subordinated to the nationalist struggle.

---

Words of Andrew B. Liu. As interviewed by Mark Frazier. Transcript published as “Andrew B. Liu - Tea War: A History of Capitalism in China and India.” Published online by India China Institute. 23 March 2020. [Some paragraph breaks and contractions added by me.]

[d34dbr4in]

I haven't been normal about Kazemaru lately so here's some headcanons about his appearance.

Note : He's a Genderfluid Sapphic who uses she/he pronouns so don't get confused when I suddenly switch pronouns.

I headcanon Kazemaru to be half Thai so I tried my best to mix his features that shows to be a mixed Japanese and Thai person.

Personally , she keeps her hair straight but sometimes she doesn't really straighten it as much she wants so she decided to let it be and make sure her hair is neat and clean. For someone who does tracks before playing soccer, she washes her hair and treats it well for herself. Her hair type is basically 1B, less straight.

Having a couple of moles on his body, usually I do want to go for meanings on what it means for each moles that's on specific part of the body but I'm not going for it.

It's obvious that he will get tanned a lot, the last time he used to track, only some part of his body didn't get tanned.

The bracelet that she wears is a tricolour tiger eye stone bracelet. I would explain it but it would take my whole notepad for my explanation to be done since I project onto Kazemaru a bit too much. However, I do know that the meaning of the stone, specifically for healing is to heal the emotional body, mend broken relationships, and bring insight into internal conflicts. (1/3)

To put it in simple terms, the meaning of tiger eye is self-confidence and inner strength... I wish I could explain this more but next time, I will. (2/3)

I personal headcanon that his mom brought it for him after his Dark Emperor arc and she got the same one too after she learnt that the bracelets, stones and its meaning from her father who is half Chinese half Thai. (3/3)

I'm keeping the orange hair tie he have but I make it more orange-red to fit into how it contrasted to the colour blue, like in the colour wheel I don't know.

Her pupils can change shape when he feels different emotions, since during her Dark Emperor era, her pupils were more of an oval shape and the edges were a little sharp. Like a cat.

A simple round silver earrings wearer. She would wear something more than that but probably not really now as a teen.

I am so sorry if the side profile is inaccurate to what Kazemaru looks like from the front, especially the bangs and the side of the hair being completely inaccurate. That's all I have though ehehehdhej.

[warsofasoiaf]

Doh! That's who I meant defense contractors/individuals who are in the military industrial complex, sorry for the confusion! In my defense I have known several intelligence analysts who believe things like Edward Snowden is/was a Russian plant, or for that matter Tulsi Gabbard is also one. I am no fan of hers but doesn't it do a disservice by saying people you disagree with who are just wrong/crazy are which she is, are part of some foreign plot?

Not necessarily. Edward Snowden has been reciting Kremlin talking points for years, and was even given Russian citizenship recently. Back when I was on Twitter, he even blocked me as part of a Russian blocklist. So it isn't off-base to say that Snowden, by this point, is a full-on Russian shill.

Similarly, Gabbard's publicly-professed reason for her stances doesn't really hold water. She's "anti-war," but eagerly repeats long-debunked Russian justifications for their invasion of Ukraine - it makes no sense on its face but does make sense if instead, she's trying to advocate for US withdrawal from Europe, and why would she advocate for that? She's "anti-war" but tries to shield Bashar al-Assad from criticism when he gasses his own people. Someone who was "anti-war" would criticize that (any decent human being would criticize it), but does make sense if you believe she's trying to stop US support of Syrian rebels, and why would she advocate for that? She's criticizes Japan's re-arming itself but is quite mum on Chinese militarism. Even US isolationism doesn't really justify that stance, but being a supporter of China does. So with so many contradictions in her stated policies, it isn't wrong to ask "what's the actual story here?" I'm the first person to say that most contradictions in policy are the result of competing priorities, but if you ask cui bono? about her foreign policy positions, the consistent throughline and clear beneficiary is Russia. So why is she so pro-Russia?

Much as how before, I explained that the Soviet Union's "anti-imperialist" position was better explained as opposition to France and Britain in light of their own imperialism, Gabbard's positions don't even cohere sensibly purely as an anti-war US isolationist. So what the actual reason is for her positions would be something of significant interest - especially as a director of national intelligence. I will agree that throwing the label out recklessly serves to cheapen the term, and it's entirely possible that Gabbard is just an idiot rather than an actively supported by the Kremlin the way much of the fringe political groups in Europe are financed by Russia (both De Linke and AfD receive Russian support). But whether she's an idiot, a useful idiot, or an actual Russian supporter, she's unworthy of the position.

Thanks for the question, Anon.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[asterrrrion]

I'm on a roll apparently (it's positive feedback. Even if I don't respond I eat up reblogs and comments like a whale) ! So here enjoy a third part of Karasuno names explanation.

東峰　旭、Azumane Asahi. The first Kanji, 東 'Azuma', means Eastern Japan, the Eastern Provinces of Japan, or the East. 峰 'Ne', the second Kanji, is used to say peak, summit, top, or the back of a blade. It's a pretty fitting name since Asahi's the ace, and also very very tall. The East part, to make sense, has to conjugate itself with Nishinoya's name, so you'll see.

旭, 'Asahi', means morning sun or rising sun. Again, Nishinoya's name is needed, but in terms of volleyball movements, Asahi's jumps fit well into this perspective. (Also, jeez, Furudate loves his sky symbolism.)

西谷　夕、Nishinoya Yū, is a perfect foil to Asahi's name. 西 'Nishi' means the West, and 谷 'noya' is a valley. So while Azumane is the East Peak, Nishinoya is the West Valley. This was chosen both for their opposite stances at the beginning of the story, opposite personalities, and for their positions : the libero position requires to be low, literally, while the ace always has to jump.

And 夕 'Yū' means evening. I wondered why Yū was evening and Asahi morning sun, since it seems like their personalities are the opposite. But I think it has to do with their narrative arcs. Asahi literally rises during the story, he gains in confidence and power, while Nishinoya had already full trust in his abilities from the start. There's also still the movement of an ace versus a libero : going down versus up.

田中　龍之介、Tanaka Ryūnosuke. 田 'Ta', means field (generally rice field). It's used pretty much everywhere, both in names and in other kanjis as a radical. 中 'naka' means inside, and is also very common. Tanaka is an extremely common Japanese name, and it definitely has rural connotations, since it originally meant someone who spent a lot of time in the fields.

龍 'Ryū' means dragon, especially Chinese dragons rather than Occidental ones, and I suspect it to be the primary Kanji that inspired this name choice. Tanaka is aggressive, tries to be impressive and cool, and his playstyle has a lot of force behind it. 之 'no' is a grammar Kanji, and doesn't really mean anything on its own. It indicates possession. 介 'suke' means assistance, help, and is the radical of the verb 介する, to assist, to worry, to care. So the whole name says "Dragon's help", basically. Since Tanaka is a support character that doesn't get much shine despite playing a lot, and that he's always been friendly with the first years and especially Hinata, it makes sense.

-----

I'm not making the three other second years, because we know very little about them and it'd be useless to try to analyse their name with so little known about their personality.

Next part is the four non-player Karasuno characters !

[justaboutsnapped]

top 5 favourite fics?

top 5 bands/artists you'd like to see live? top 5 photos of nico rosberg? x

Top 5 fics - Not sure if these are my Top Five of All Time™ (after all I've been reading fic since 13 💀) but I tried picking 5 different fics I've really loved from different fandoms

F1 - Second Star to the Right by @\gufettogrigio - Surely one of the most beautiful brocedes/princess cake fics ever. This is kind of weird to say but it Not to expose myself but I specifically loved it because of how raw and accurate the depiction of mental illness is. There are specific quotes in this that I think about all the fucking time and I've reread it at least half a dozen times over the past three months. That says a lot about me tbh.

Merlin - Pianos are made for falling by fishwrites - Devastating. Haunting. One cannot simply move on from this. Lowkey scared to reread it because it would wreck me.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. - A steel hand inside a velvet glove/丝绒铁腕 by Huoshao - It's a shame not everyone can read chinese because it's the best post-canon Napollya longfic hands down. It's super famous amongst Chinese fans of western media–I've come across people who watched the movie because they wanted to read the fic.

Enhypen - Bestie Vibes Only by @\drivestraight. Fun fact: this is how I discovered Val, her F1 fics were very much a pleasant surprise for me. Genius writing that managed to pull off the cliche college au by having the most insanely messy intra-group dynamics. Beautifully insightful descriptions of love, especially at the end.

Inception - Autonomic by radishface (+ the sequel How to use a lifejacket) - As an Inception rarepair truther (cobb/arthur... don't judge I have my reasons) I owe my life to the more open-minded livejournal authors tbh. A lot of good shit out there but I'm particularly fond of radishface. One of the first fics I downloaded to my hard drive for archival.

(additional shoutout to the garden of eden by relationshipcrimes. I haven't consumed the source material (persona 5) so I can't judge the characterisation but this genuinely is one of the most horrific + devastating things I've ever read. pandi why would you rec this to me)

Top 5 artists I'd like to see live (excluding mcr & fob–they're my top priority but I've already seen them):

草东没有派对/No Party for Cao Dong - One of my favourite bands, their latest album is insane in terms of musicality, even if you don't understan Chinese it's still really good!! It's my dream to see them live.

Seong-Jin Cho - My favourite classical pianist <333 I'd sell a lung to see him play Chopin

The Killers - Idk singing along to their hits would cure me

Mãneskin - They would be so fun to see live oh my godddddd

Enhypen - I NEED to see nishimura riki's dance live I need toooooo

Top 5 nico pics - impossible fucking challenge considering the sheer number I've saved... I really can't choose but here are 5 I'm currently enjoying. Shoutout to all the really cunty pre-f1/early williams era long-hair nico pics <333 couldn't choose between them so none of those made the cut

[masterofrecords]

On sworn fathers and sons

As I was translating the card for episode 6 of The Ravages of Time, I came across a conundrum. The relationship between Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu is typically translated into English as “adopted father and son”, but I feel like that’s a bit misleading. It is a similar concept to the “sworn brotherhood”, with the classic example being Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, but it isn’t as easily adapted into English language and Western culture.

I suppose it’s tempting to try and push a square peg into a round hole and try to find similarities between the concepts we are accustomed to and the ones we see in different cultures – I readily admit I’ve done that myself, even in the translations for The Ravages of Time, albeit for a very minor character. This approach has its merits, and certainly makes the media more accessible to the wider audience. But I think it’s at least fun and at most quite helpful to try and figure out what it really means, especially for the cases where the differences become important.

Even just looking into the history of specifically the Three Kingdoms era, there are many kinds of relationships that are distinctly different from one another, with regards to if the people involved changed surnames, had inheritance rights, as well as how they were regarded by their peers. They are all typically translated into English as “adoption”, which automatically loses some of the context provided by the specific term.

Looking into a dictionary, there are quite a few terms that can be translated as “adopted son” into English. They don’t all mean the same thing, and while some are much more likely to turn up in various media, I’m going to go over all that I’ve come across one by one. That said, there is some debate on how these terms are meant to be used and sometimes the meaning is a bit muddled even in the writings of native speakers.

I will include the more literal meanings of the terms here, mostly for convenience of referring to different words without overloading this post with Chinese characters or pinyin.

义子 [yì zǐ] – lit. “sworn/righteous” son. This is probably the most common one and the one used for Lü Bu regarding Dong Zhuo. The character 义 is also the one used in “sworn brother”, and generally “sworn son” can mean the child of a sworn brother/sister. While there are some rituals involved in recognizing someone as a “sworn son”, it is not a legal process but rather a folk tradition and therefore did not give the right to inherit.

Since “sworn sons” were often adults (like in Lü Bu’s case, for example), it wasn’t uncommon for someone to enter such a relationship specifically for the perks of getting a talented heir/powerful patron.

To better illustrate the relationship between Lü Bu and Dong Zhuo, I’ll once more turn to Records of the Three Kingdoms andBook of Later Han (the passages are almost identical in both chronicles, and I used both sources to make the translation more accurate; that said, I found the Book of Later Han version slightly easier to understand in most places) and their description of Lü Bu’s decision to kill Dong Zhuo in a conversation with Wang Yun.

"From the start, Minister over the Masses Wang Yun had a close relationship with Lü Bu, having received him kindly. After Lü Bu came to Wang Yun, he complained how Dong Zhuo had tried to kill him several times. At the time, Wang Yun and the Vice Director of the Imperial Secretariat Shisun Rui were plotting against Dong Zhuo, so he offered Lü Bu to join them. Lü Bu said, “When we’re like father and son?” Wang Yun said, “Your surname is Lü, you are not his flesh and blood. Today he didn’t have time to worry about your death, what do you mean by father and son? When he threw a halberd, did he also feel like you’re father and son?” Lü Bu then agreed to kill Dong Zhuo himself, as is described in Dong Zhuo’s biography. Wang Yun gave Lü Bu the title General of Spirited Strength [1], granted him the Insignia [2], made him a Three Dignitaries Equal [3], and gave him the Wenxian county."

[1] General of Spirited Strength – uh. Look. I kind of went with the poetic feel, but just for reference, this has been translated by Moss Roberts as “General Known for Vigor-in-Arms” and by Charles Henry Brewitt-Taylor as "General Who Demonstrates Grand and Vigor Courage in Arms"

[2] Insignia – it’s kind of… a symbol of (usually military) power? Like, you have this thing, you can command/execute/etc. people even if you technically shouldn’t have the right to do so. They were usually granted temporarily for a particular mission.

[3] Three Dignitaries Equal – someone who isn’t one of the Three Dignitaries (included Minister over the Masses – Wang Yun himself, Minister of Works and Defender-in-Chief; also known as the Three Dukes), but has all the rights of one.

(This has nothing to do with the sworn sons thing, but Shisun Rui’s title literally means “charioteering archer” despite being an administrative rather than a military position. I just think that’s neat.)

养子 [yǎng zǐ] – another common one, lit. “raised/supported” son. One difference between the “sworn son” and “raised son” is in the actual act of raising – while the sworn son is typically of age, a “raised son” is a child and needs to be looked after. In modern society, this is the word used for what we would typically consider as official adoption or fostering, and comes with full inheritance rights (the legal translation seems to be fostering, but, uh, I’m not a lawyer).

That said, the word had existed for much longer than the modern legal system; so in the more historical context this would be a bit more muddled and sometimes used almost synonymously to a “sworn son”, just with a bit more legal rights.

One famous historical example of a “raised son” is Liu Feng, who was adopted by Liu Bei. At the time, Liu Bei didn’t have a heir, but later, after his biological sons were born, he stopped regarding Liu Feng as highly as before, eventually leading to mutual resentment and Liu Bei blaming Liu Feng for Guan Yu’s death and sentencing him to death (or, more accurately, ordering Liu Feng to kill himself). Even before that though, Liu Bei’s heir was announced to be his son by blood, Liu Shan.

干儿（子）[gān ér (zǐ)]- a “nominal” son, also sometimes translated as “godson”. Is usually used as a complete synonym for “sworn son” or “raised son”, but I believe is a bit more modern and appeared with the decline in the usage of “sworn son”.

契子 [qìzǐ] – lit. “contract” son. A dialect variant of “nominal son” used in Hakka Chinese. Some Chinese-English dictionaries seem to give the meaning as “adopted son” by default, but in Chinese-Chinese encyclopedias I don’t seem to see it for dialects other than the Hakka varieties – I might be wrong though.

寄子/儿 [jìzǐ/ér] – lit. “entrusted/dependent” son. That’s the one that was probably the most confusing for me. For one, it’s used to describe a similar relationship in Japanese culture. I suspected it might be a less-used spelling of “succeeding son” (see later) – the pronunciation is the same, and some of the descriptions of the terms match – but the online consensus seems to be that “dependent son” is more synonymous to “nominal son”. Unfortunately, the search for specifics is made difficult by the existence of a Japanese manga of the same title.

假子 [jiǎzǐ] – lit. “false/fake” son. It can be used as a synonym for the previous variants, or for a son of a previous husband/wife, and seems to carry a negative undertone, sometimes used to express dislike of the person it refers to or the fact that he’s not considered by the speaker to be a “real” child of the family. In the examples I’ve seen it’s only ever been used by outsiders, not by the people actually involved.

嗣子 [sìzǐ] – lit. “inheriting” son, can confusingly also mean an heir, an official son from a wife rather than a concubine. This refers specifically to someone who is going to inherit after a person, and I believe is somewhat limited to nephews. Gaining this status meant severing the legal connection with your own parents and becoming, for all intents and purposes, your uncle’s son.

祧子 [tiāozǐ] – lit. “picked” son. Unlike the “inheriting son”, didn’t need to sever ties with their original family and didn’t need to call the uncle “father”. A bit less formal than “inheriting son” but allowed one to be counted as a member of both families essentially.

继子 [jìzǐ] – lit. “succeeding” son, similar to the previous ones, but even less strict, with this relationship not being limited to nephews. Sometimes also refers to sons of ex-husbands/ex-wives.

螟蛉/螟蛉子/蛉子 [mínglíng/mínglíngzǐ/míngzǐ] – lit. “corn earworm” (or the larvae of a bunch of insects – you know what, this isn’t a biology post, whatever. You get the point). It’s a metaphor coming from an ancient misunderstanding of how they propagated. Basically, some wasps often use the larvae to store eggs (and later as food for the hatched eggs), but people used to think that wasps didn’t have children of their own and instead “adopted” the earworms. Is used as a synonym for “sworn son” or “raised son”.

微子 [wēizǐ] – lit. something like… “a little bit” son? Used to refer to the son not from the legitimate wife. Mostly this refers to the first ruler of the Song dynasty, and I’ve never come across its “illegitimate son” meaning, much less the “adopted son” given in some dictionaries. (Fun fact for Weil specially: since the “子” character means “particle” as well as “son”, 中微子 is how neutrino is spelled.)

This is all the options I’ve found! Some are very niche or even questionable, but I wanted to be thorough and cover all the possibilities one might come across in various Chinese media.

To finish this off, with so many different ways to take a child into the family, there is also a distinct word to describe children of one’s own blood – 亲子 [qīnzǐ].

At the end of the day, especially in historical context, I think it’s important to remember that many of the relationships described above were not codified, or were only partially codified. The specific dynamic relied on the interpretation of a particular person, and as we’ve seen with some of them, could even be revoked at any moment when it no longer suited the needs of the individuals involved.

I hope this was helpful!

[nikofortuna]

JTTW Chapter 24 Thoughts

Chapter 24 for the @journeythroughjourneytothewest Reading Group!

Ah, the beginning of the Arc the movie Monkey King Reborn is based on! It will be very delightful to spot the similarities for myself!

But first we have to finish the previous trial. I really don’t like how the emphasise is kind of put on women as being tempters. Especially when the exemplary lady is explicitly stated to be sixteen, that is a child!

Still not a fan how they put so much ridicule on Zhu Bajie as well when they equally pressured him into the whole situation.

Hm Sun Wukong schooling his Shifu. We love the communal grandpa dispersing his knowledge.

And here are the two sillies! I’ll take it in immortal years they’re closer to being old tweens or young teens. That’s the feeling I get from them at least.

Ah, teaching the kids that uhm, actually just make friends with people if they’re nice, religion should not be of any importance there. There are some really good lessons to be taken away from this novel.

One could say they are… Home Alone.

I wonder if the sight of the Daoist Abbey makes Sun Wukong melancholic with thoughts of his first Shifu.

Clear Breeze, I most certainly prefer the J. F. Jenner and movie’s translation and technically also the German translation of Pure Wind, and Bright Moon are notably nicer in the novel than the adaptation. They only get rude when they actually have been wronged. Just looking at their movie counterparts, these aren’t the same kids.

Plants you say? Now don’t mind if I look them up! Spoilers this turned out a bit of a difficult ordeal so take all of this with a grain of salt.

For accuracy, spinach yes and celery yes.

Mare’s tail… maybe? My search came up with Beta vulgaris aka Chard/Swiss Chard instead, though both plants fall under the term vulgaris in their scientific name and are plausible options as they are both native to Western Asia. Since it is a vegetable garden for people however I might be inclined to personally go with Chard, in part also because I have eaten that vegetable before and it is not only quite tasty but also nutritional.

Funfact in German Chard is called Mangold, definitely sounds like a plant an immortal would eat. But again that’s just personal bias, in reality it could still be either.

Back to the list, I have no clue where beet comes from in this line, but ginger yes.

Seaweed no. It seems to actually be moss of some kind and I looked up as to possibly why it’s in this garden. Indeed certain types of moss are used for medicinal or culinary purposes in some cultures. But don’t go out and just eat moss you find in your garden! A lot of mosses are toxic and no good for eating, so be careful!

Bamboo shoot yes and melon yes. Squash, more like gourd, but technically yes. Watercress no, my research came up with wild rice instead, but watercress is still native to Asia as well.

Now for this next line I would like to remark that there is some potential difference in the Chinese Original. Chive technically yes the Google Translate said just onion though, garlic yes, coriander yes, leek and scallion technically yes though if the characters for those two are put together the translator says they translate to chives instead.

The second paragraph I will not touch as that one is more complex.

The local Tudi really tends to be the living loremaster, in a way that makes a lot of sense in world too, something I can always appreciate.

Heh, Sun Wukong doing a little trickshot with the mallet. Not that it worked, but he tried.

Sha Wujing being the good little brother getting roped into shenanigans by his older brothers. The feeling of found family is strong with this one.

At the end I would like to shill the movie a bit as I really like that one and it does make for quite a good companion piece for this Arc. It also has one of the best Sha Wujing designs in my opinion.