#if you saw this in the patreon hi I'm the same person

[some-zer0]

If I had a nickel for every time Alexander J. Newall wrote a story about an infectious gestalt plant which initially appeared to be made of a non-living material and which was at least in part developed by Isaac Newton (who's gone too far in the pursuit of science with no regard for what his discoveries might be used for), then I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice

[hannieehaee]

LOST IN STEREO

18+ / mdi

summary: after kicking you out of your own band to seek success with the band on his own, vernon finds his plans falling through, all the while you'd reached success on your own. now leading your own label, vernon finds himself having to earn your forgiveness, not realizing how badly he'd hurt you years back.

content: friends2enemies2lovers!vernon, band!au, drummer!vernon, guitarist!reader, unrequited crush (kinda), pining, vernon kicks you out of your band bc ur a girl (asshole, ik), really incorrect music industry terminology (i know nothing about music oops), afab reader, reader becomes a producer after being kicked from vernon's band, seokmin, chan, hannie and kwannie are in the band, smut, penetrative sex, dry humping, fingering, etc.

wc: 8.8k

a/n: i know the summary and content are all over the place, but i promise the story in itself is coherent</3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

"Fuck! Jesus Christ, what are you doing here?"

He winced at the sudden sight of you upon turning a corner in the huge building he was currently exploring, never having expected to bump into you there.

"I work here, Vernon. I would've expected you to do some research on the labels you're auditioning for."

"W-wait. What do you mean you work here?"

"I'm a producer here. What? Surprised?"

"N-no!" he spluttered.

Fuck, you looked good. No, scratch that. You looked beautiful beyond belief.

How long had it been? Three? Four years?

He still felt horribly about it. You know, that whole situation in which he threw you under the bus for his own benefit – only for everything to come crashing down on him immediately after. Not only did he feel like an asshole, but also like a huge idiot. Letting go of a friendship just for a failed attempt at success would go down as the dumbest thing Vernon ever engaged in.

In his defense, he was a teenager at the time. Okay, maybe he was freshly 19, but it felt like the same thing back then. He had been an idiot who dumped his best friend and crush just for a chance in the music industry. What he had thought that to be the smartest move to make for the future of your shared band ended up becoming his greatest mistake. To this day, he still thought back on it with shame.

What sucked the most was how talented he knew you were. That, and the knowledge that he had been the sole person to blame for taking this opportunity away from you – from taking your own band away from you.

He quickly came to realize that it had been a horrible mistake, but it was too late by then. Contractually speaking, you had never really existed within the group. Your friendship had also crumbled soon after, despite your reassurance that all you wanted was the best for the band, even if that meant they'd continue on without you.

At the time, you had been the band's sole music producer, and song writer, and engineer, and you were the one who had a macbook with garage band on it, and–

"Vernon!"

Fuck. Had he been in his head this whole time?

You looked annoyed. Also way more grown and mature than when he last saw you at 19 years old. Fuck, did he mention you looked insanely hot?

"Sorry, I, uh, as I was saying," he cleared his throat, "Of course I'm not surprised. You're the most talented person I've ever known."

And Vernon truly meant his words. As teenagers, your dream to become a successful guitarist had been what inspired him to dust off his drums and go on this adventure with you, employing a few of your other friends to join your wannabe pop-punk band.

You weren't just a dreamer, like Vernon. Vernon knew you weren't just all talk. If anyone could walk the walk, it was you. With your innate ability with not only the guitar, but a myriad of other instruments, Vernon always admired you for your natural talent with music. The insane confidence you carried also did not help matters. It sure did not help the irrevocable crush he'd had on you since he met you. The air of security you always carried with you was something Vernon looked up to and was insanely attracted to. Sometimes it'd make it difficult to be around you without revealing his crush, as he would constantly swoon over your mere presence.

His feelings for you not only as a childhood friend, but also as his unrequited crush, only made the whole situation worse. At first, he dumbly thought that you understood why he had to ask you to leave the band, but it was obvious to him within only a few weeks that what his decision had done irreparable damage to your friendship.

Thinking back to it, he realized how stupid it was for him to even consider joining a label that denied your entrance simply due to your gender. Attempting to create the image the label had wanted to force on them should've been the first red flag. Taking Vernon aside to talk him into kicking you out should've been more than enough for Vernon to break out and whisk you away from a label that clearly didn't deserve you.

Sadly, Vernon had been too invested in making it big at the time. He truly would've given anything to find success as a musician as soon as possible – and apparently you should've taken those words literally.

It had been about a year since you first started the band at that point. Your very low budget garage band consisted of you, Vernon, and a few of your friends. Vernon was on drums, you on guitar, Hannie was bass, Kwan main vocals, Seokmin keyboard, and Chan second guitar. It was the perfect setup, if Vernon had anything to say about it.

The entire composition of the band had been yet another thing that formed all thanks to you. As much as Vernon insisted on saying it had been a shared effort, he now knew better. He needed to give credit where it was due. If it wasn't for you, Vernon never even would've met the guys he now considered his best friends, as you had been the one to take charge of recruiting more members into the group.

Despite that, you allowed Vernon to have the role of co-leader in the band with you. The way you had rationalized it was that you didn't believe in a monarchy; you much more wanted to have a democracy, so you believed that being co-leaders beat a singular leader by far.

This also demonstrated the intense trust you had on Vernon. Except Vernon's greedy mentality at the time did not respect this vision.

Surprisingly, even to his younger self, it didn't take much convincing for the recruiting manager of the label to convince Vernon into kicking you out. Just one signature from him, and all the male members of the group would be secure under a semi-established label that would guarantee them the exposure he'd been wanting, oh so badly, for the past year of being in the band. All he thought of was his future success, completely ignoring that his best friend would be left behind in the process. Simultaneously, he ignored the protests of his members, believing this to be for the greater good for the band.

In your usual supportive fashion, you were a trooper through it all. Your initial reaction was one of confusion and hurt, but it was quickly wiped away under the facade of being happy for your friends. If you couldn't find success with them, you were glad they'd be able to make it big without you.

Vernon made the mistake of believing these words, not realizing that he had just broken all your trust, and along with it your heart.

Then came the other end of the stick.

To no one's surprise, the record deal fell through. Kicking you out before agreeing to sign the group should've made alarms go off in Vernon's head on its own, but everything that came after was somehow worse.

The label had attempted to poke at every single detail about the band, trying to form them into something they could never see themselves becoming. Their looks changed, their sound changed, and fuck, Vernon just could not stop thinking about you throughout it all.

Before it all completely fell apart, they had been able to perform a few shows. Though they were nothing too big, they were far more than the small pubs in which you guys had performed before sighing the contract. Vernon was completely unable to enjoy any of this, though. The blank space on stage kept his mind uneasy. He constantly wondered about you and reminisced about your beginnings together.

This arrangement only lasted a few months. That was when everything truly went to hell. With lack of cooperation both from him and the rest of the guys, it wasn't too hard to get the label to drop them.

It just wasn't a match. Vernon would be the first to admit that greed got the best of him. Taking the very first signing offer that they got had been too naive of him, leading the band to be labeless and without a lead guitar and female vocal. And also leaving Vernon without a best friend.

A few years were spent attempting to break out once more, only achieving certain virality online through the first year of trying. It wasn't until recent times that Vernon and his band really blew up through some original work of Vernon's they had posted online. That's what actually led to Vernon's current position – touring one of the best labels for people in his genre after having established a solid fanbase online as an independent band.

Since Vernon had lost contact with you soon after kicking you out of the band, he eventually gave up on finding you (though memories of you would still haunt him). Not having kept up with your individual career, he never knew you actually made it out and into the big leagues on your own. You being a renown producer under an artistic name made sense to him, though. It explained why he had not heard of your name during all that time, and it also made sense with your past experience making music when you were in the band. Hell, you were the one who taught Vernon everything he knew about producing.

Despite being incredibly glad that his mistake hadn't made you lose your love for music, Vernon still felt disheartened at seeing you. In another life, the two of you would've made it here together, hand by hand and as the best friends you'd always been (hopefully even more by now). But now you were here, successful but at completely different rates, and with you feeling clear disdain towards Vernon's mere existence.

You simply scoffed at his compliment, rolling your eyes.

"I don't need your praise, Vernon."

Well, it seemed like he couldn't really win regardless. It also didn't help that he felt like a total loser standing in front of you, now aware that you had made a name for yourself.

He had heard your artistic name before, but since you apparently stuck to being a producer rather than be on stage, he never put a face to the name.

"I, uh, are you one of the producers we're auditioning for?"

"Yeah. Good luck with that, Vernon," you seemed far too pleased with yourself. There was venom in your eyes Vernon had never seen before in all those years he knew you.

"Listen, I-"

"Whatever you're going to say about our past, you can save it. Nothing you can say can make up for what happened. I won't get in your way during your meeting with the label. Only because I still love the rest of the guys," you softened a bit, before getting that serious look in your eye again, "But I also won't do you any favors."

Gulping, he responded, "Yeah, I, uh, okay. I understand."

Without any further comments, you bumped into his shoulder as you walked away, leaving a breathless Vernon behind.

He was well aware that you hated him, and with good reason too. Yet he couldn't help the rapid beating of his heart throughout every second of your interaction. With the passing of years, he had thought he was fully over his crush, but it all just came crashing down on him all at once upon your first meeting.

Now he really needed to get into this label. Not only for his career, but to somehow get you back.

"Dude! Did you see Y/N? She stopped by the studio earlier to say hi. Man, I told you you shouldn't have gone off on your own. I can't believe you missed her."

As much as Vernon wished Seokmin had been right about Vernon missing you altogether, he did wish your first encounter with him had been around other witnesses. Maybe that way your words to him would've had a little less venom in them.

"Nope. Bumped into her in the hallway while I was looking around."

"Shit ...", said Chan, "How was it?"

"Brutal. She hates my ass."

"Completely understandable, you know, considering," chimed in Seungkwan, sitting on the couch of the conference room's waiting room.

After a short tour of the building the label was homed in, the group was directed to wait in the waiting room as the execs arranged the paperwork necessary to sign them – should they come to an agreement. Vernon had made the dumb mistake of asking if he could explore the place a bit on his own, never having imagined he'd bump into you on the way. At least now he knew you'd be one of the higher ups waiting for him on the other side of that door.

"Dude, stop. I've been feeling like a dick ever since it happened", Vernon groaned into his hands, suddenly snapping up to look to his members, "Did you guys know she was working here? Did you know she was the Hissfit?"

"We didn't really keep contact," Seokmin shook his head.

"Yeah. I knew of Hissfit, but I never would've guessed it was her. Damn, that's kinda hot of her," said Jeonghan.

Jeonghan's comment peeved off Vernon a bit, but he had bigger things to worry about at the moment.

"Do you think she hates all of us, or is it just me-"

They all varied in their response, but the consensus was that Vernon was the only member you still saw with venom in your eyes.

"Yeah, man. It's just you," confirmed Chan, "I thought she'd hate me for taking over lead guitar after she left, but she was pretty nice to me just now."

Vernon was about to air out his endless concerns and frustrations at the stupid acts of his 19-year-old self, but had to close his mouth back up when the door to the conference room suddenly opened, revealing you and two other men close to your age.

"Come on in, guys," said one with shaggy hair and a strong build, gesturing at the boys to come in.

All five of them took a seat on one side of the gigantic table that took up most of the space in the room while you and the two men took a seat on the opposite side.

You looked so put together and professional, looking over the papers sitting in front of you while Vernon stared and stared, hoping you'd look his way.

"Okay, first of all, I wanna welcome you guys. I know one of our producers, Soonyoung, already gave you guys a quick tour of the place, but I wanted to give you a formal welcome," began the taller guy of the two, "My name is Seungcheol, but you probably know me as S.Coups."

"I'm Jihoon, but you must know me as Woozi," said the shaggy-haired man.

Then it was your turn.

"I'm Y/N. Also known as Hissfit."

Vernon winced when all his members woo'd at you, dapping you up with all confidence in the world despite not having kept in contact with you for the past few years. He wanted to join in, but you seemed too genuinely appreciative of it for him to want to dampen your mood by reminding you of his existence.

"We are the owners and cofounders of Universe Factory Records," added Jihoon.

"We're well aware you guys know our friend Y/N here," Seungcheol patted your back, rubbing it afterwards in a soothing manner, – completely unnecessary in Vernon's eyes, but okay – "but for business' sake, we will put a pin on that at the moment."

"We don't want any good or bad blood getting in the way of business, so we thought it'd be best to not discuss those matters here today," continued Jihoon, "All we care about is giving a passionate group such as your own and opportunity to join us. I can speak for all three of us when I say that you truly fit the core message of our label, and we'd love to sign you."

You nodded along to it all, even holding Vernon's eyes in yours for a few seconds before looking away.

"We'd love that, Woozi-Nim," intercepted Seokmin, bowing his head a bit at Jihoon.

"We just have a few contractual points to get to and then we can get to business, okay?", Seungcheol clapped his hands decisively.

A few moments later, your HR guys, Jun and Minghao came in to oversee the contract with the eight of you, making sure both parties understood everything written on the fine print. This took about thirty minutes, but ended very amicably.

"Is there a leader to the group who'd like to speak for any modifications you'd like to make to the contract?", asked Seungcheol just moments before the papers were about to be signed by everyone present.

"No, we're more of a democracy," said Vernon, not realizing the irony of his words fast enough.

You scoffed loudly at that, giving Vernon a sarcastic smile.

"Are you sure about that? Any other member who can confirm this fact?", you turned to the rest of the members in mock curiosity.

"Y/N, I-"

"Sorry, it's my bad. I shouldn't have asked," Seungcheol chuckled awkwardly, gesturing to the papers once more, "You can all sign whenever you're ready."

With some hesitation, Vernon signed.

He knew it was the right decision. That this way he would not only get to live his dream with his best friends while being housed under such a successful label, but that he'd also get another chance with you.

It'd just take a lot of work.

One of Vernon's favorite parts about the contract with Universe Factory was the luxury dorms that came along with it.

Being housed in a penthouse with all his friends seemed like one of the most unachievable dreams, yet here he was.

And the best part was that you owned a penthouse of your own right upstairs.

As far as he understood, this was a business owned building, housing any artists who wished to live at close proximity to the label's main headquarters. Vernon's group chose to agree to this form of housing without a second doubt, having always had the dream of living in the capital of the music industry – Los Angeles.

It had been about a month since the signing, and Vernon had caught sights of you far more times than he would've thought thus far. Unfortunately, none of them had gone well for him.

You seemed to be more than happy rekindling your friendship with the rest of the members, but always refused to spend any time with Vernon one-on-one. If at any moment you were left alone with Vernon, you'd scoff and walk out, even if Vernon attempted to call you out on it.

And Vernon's crush only got worse with the time he spent with you (albeit it always was while other people were around). Seeing you so relaxed in your loungewear when you'd spontaneously stop by the dorms to see Jeonghan or Chan (or literally anyone but him) as you laughed and joked around with them was messing with Vernon's head.

You were just so pretty and perfect and put together.

There came a point where Vernon was quite loud about his crush, constantly whining to his members about how much you still hated him. You were the only person to be unaware of it. Hell, even Jihoon and Seungcheol knew, always giving Vernon looks when he'd stare at you a little too long.

Except you never looked his way.

The only times you ever looked at Vernon were to curse him out or blatantly distance yourself from him whenever you got fed up of his presence.

Even now, as you huddled into a corner of the couch when the rest of the guys conveniently (re: at Vernon's request) left the two of you alone halfway through the movie you'd all been watching.

Attempting to be as casual as possible (he wasn't), Vernon slid from sitting on the arm of the couch to try and scoot closer to you, eyes glued to the TV in fear of you leaving if he dared look your way.

"Vernon-"

"Wait! Don't leave! Just stay sitting. I- I won't bother you, okay?," he was quick to apologize, sensing that you'd either scold him or tell him to fuck off.

You nodded, expressionless as you turned your bead back to the TV again, seemingly not too bothered by him.

It was rare for you to not use his exasperation as a reason to tell him off, so Vernon went against his own words and spoke again.

"Will we ever talk again?"

"What?"

He sighed, turning to you, "Will things ever go back to normal? I- Is there any chance you'll ever forgive me?"

"I don't wanna talk about this with you," you went to get up, only to be stopped by Vernon as he got up also, lightly grabbing your arm.

"Please. You have no idea how much I've regretted it since then. At least let me apologize," he pleaded with you.

"It doesn't matter if you regret it, Vernon. You still did it."

Wincing, he tried to come up with an answer that might satisfy you, but the truth was that there was no way for him to reason his actions at that time.

"I'll never not regret it. I .. I wish you were still out there with us, not just producing behind the scenes."

"Vernon-"

"Do you ... do you still play?"

"What?", you appeared annoyed at his interest.

"Do you still play? At any shows? For fun? You were always the best guitarist I'd known. Chan's nothing compared to you," he joked.

You looked down in what seemed to be shyness, "Chan's pretty good. He's gotten so much better since I last saw him."

"It wasn't the same- It's not the same. You were supposed to be there. I love Channie, but the dynamic completely changed when you left- when you-"

"When you kicked me out," you corrected.

He took a few steps towards you, both hands encompassing your arms in order to get you to look at him.

"I kicked you out, and it was the worst mistake I'd ever made. I lost my bandmate and I lost my best friend. I miss you every day. Every time I perform and I look to the front and you're not there, I remember what an idiot I was. You made this. You made the band, you got all the members. Fuck, you taught Channie everything you knew and all I did to repay you was throw you away," his eyes never left yours as he spoke, despite how guilty he felt at seeing the sudden sadness in yours, "Please tell me you at least still play. Please tell me I didn't take that away from you."

"I ... After you kicked me out, I couldn't trust anyone else. If my own best friend was willing to get rid of me like that ... If all my friends stood by and did nothing, then I couldn't trust that someone else wouldn't do it again."

"Y/n, I-"

You stepped away from his hold, creating some distance.

"I didn't want to play anymore, so I started selling my music. That's how I met Jihoon And Seungcheol. They were already on the process of founding Universe Factory. They saw something in me and took me in. We were equals," you explained, "So, no. I haven't played since then, Vernon. I'm a producer now."

It made Vernon miserable to know that the girl he once knew had changed. He understood why, specially having been part of the cause, but he felt even more regretful at knowing that he had damaged your ability to trust so badly. Ever since he knew you, you loved nothing more than to play for people. From talent shows to small shows at local pubs with only twenty people in the audience, you'd always happily sign up if it meant a chance to play for anyone willing to listen. Now you didn't have that in you anymore. All because Vernon had broken your trust.

Vernon chose not to bother you anymore after that. You seemed happy with your new life. Vernon seemed to be the only source of negativity in your life, so he chose to step aside and let you live your life. He would no longer try and see if there was any space for him there anymore. If that's what made you happy, then so be it.

It had taken a while, but after four months of being signed into Universe Factory, Vernon's band had finally released their new album.

The rollout consisted of 12 original songs, with a deluxe version including three extra songs coming a few months later. It hadn't been fully fleshed out yet, but the album itself had been a success by all means.

Throughout the process, Vernon had unfortunately not made much progress with you. Things seemed to be a bit more peaceful now that he had decided to leave you alone, but you never once tried to seek him out, so he assumed that this was the end of it. You were happy to ignore him and keep him out of your life, and as much as Vernon wad pained by it, he felt too remorseful by his previous actions to try and bother you anymore.

Vernon was happy to spend time with you whenever studio sessions came up. As one of the main producers of the company, you had been thoroughly involved in the album, which meant that you spent a grand majority of your time in the studio with Vernon and the rest of the band. Though you would rarely engage with him directly, you didn't outwardly ignore him. You remained professional and respectful towards him. He wasn't sure if that was better or worse.

After the grueling process of finishing up the album and releasing it, there was a small lull in the group's timeline. The album did amazingly well, specially with all the promo your label did for them. A tour had even been announced for later in the year, but for now things were quiet. The fruits of their labor were paying off and now everyone got a bit of time to rest before preparations for tour began.

Despite being done with work for a few weeks before getting to rehearsals for tour, Vernon still liked to come around the company and play around with the studios the label had available for their artists. He liked to mess around and try to experiment with new stuff to develop his skills. During the album-making period, he had observed you intently, learning from you without your knowledge.

Today was one of the many times in which Vernon had decided to come around the studios, in search of the one his group used throughout the process of making their album.

That was when he noticed the half-closed door, with the soft strumming of a guitar coming from the inside. He was about to turn around and leave, assuming that someone else had taken up that studio for a bit, but then he heard a melodious voice accompanying the guitar in perfect harmony. It was you.

Even during the recording process, Vernon was yet to hear you sing or play any music. The demos were usually recorded by Jihoon, even when you had vast participation in them. The most he had heard your voice during that time had been when you'd direct the members on how to enunciate a line or two – and even then, Vernon felt enamored. Now here Vernon was, peeking from the small opening of the door as he witnessed you sing what seemed to be an original song.

Your back was facing him as you sat on the floor, simply facing the wall in front of you. Your voice was low, as was your strumming. It was likely you didn't want anyone to hear you. Almost as if you were hiding your skill, not wanting anyone to be aware of it.

Vernon couldn't help but think that this was the consequence of his actions. Did you think you weren't made to perform anymore? Not even in private? Had his betrayal caused this in you? The thought made him sick, knowing how much you loved music.

His thoughts were promptly interrupted by a sudden halt in your playing, hearing your voice speak up.

"I know you're there, Vernon," you said without even needing to turn around to face him.

"I- How did you-"

You began to get up, putting your guitar away, "I heard the door squeak a bit, and you're the only person who would be interested enough in hearing me play to stay and watch."

He knew you hadn't meant it in a self-deprecating way, but the thought of you believing that there wasn't a crowd of people who'd die to hear you perform felt like a punch in the gut.

"You still sound amazing. You got even better, somehow."

"Vernon, stop. You don't have to-"

"Please. Let me at least compliment you. I mean it. You're amazing. It's a huge disservice to the world that you're not out there performing your own music," he chuckled humorlessly by the end, attempting to appeal to you somehow.

Surprisingly to him, you chuckled back in a similar manner, choosing to recline against one of the tables in the room rather than leave now that Vernon was speaking to you – something you'd usually do if you were ever in a room alone with him.

"I've never been much of a soloist. You know that."

Taking a leap, Vernon chose to lean against the table too, taking a seat close to you.

"I'm sure people would be lining up for a chance to work with you, c'mon."

"Not, you, though. Right?"

He groaned, throwing his head back in frustration, "Listen ..."

"I'm kidding, Vernon, relax."

That surprised him. Maybe the time had allowed you to feel comfortable enough to tease Vernon about it. Fuck. You were speaking to him. That in itself was more progress than he'd had in years.

Usually, he would've responded with a joke back, but he decided to drive his point home instead.

"I'd kill for you to even consider playing with me again."

Your mood visibly shifted at that, squirming a bit and looking down at his words.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

This time your sarcasm didn't deter him. He had an opening. You were talking to him, after months of only doing polite small talk with him whenever you were forced to. Maybe it was time he was a bit stern too.

Standing up, he stood directly in front of you, towering over you a bit more than usual since you were leaning against the table.

"Listen. I know I hurt you. I know I did the worst thing I could've done to the person I loved most, okay? I think about it every day. I thought about it every single day after you cut me out of your life – which you had every right to do," he winced at the thought, "Seeing you again, knowing you made it big and that you're still making music made me so glad. So glad that even though I wasn't ever going to be part of your journey anymore, you still had music by your side. I ... I wish I had done things differently. I wish I hadn't acted so stupidly and been so easy to convince to leave you behind just for a taste of success. I deserve every bit of your hate for it, but- fuck ... but I will always keep doing everything I can to see if maybe one day you might forgive me."

"Vernon, I-"

"Wait, I'm not done," he interrupted you with a finger in the air, "I tried looking for you, you know? After you disappeared, I tried to get you back somehow. When we got dropped from the label just a few months later, I tried to find you, but you were nowhere. I wanted you back from the moment I made that stupid decision. I'd do anything for you to be up there with us on that tour, for your name to be on that album cover. Somehow we ended up making music together again, just with all this baggage in between."

"Vernon."

"What? I- Honestly I don't know what you could say to all my word vomit. I already know you hate me. Nothing I do will ever change it," he looked down with a sad look on his face.

"I don't ... I don't hate you."

His head snapped up to look at you.

"You- What?"

"I don't hate you," you repeated, "I don't think I ever did. I never left music completely, I just ... I felt so disposable. I didn't want to work with anyone who wasn't you, and you saw me as a replaceable asset. I didn't even feel like your friend at that point. I mean, it was so easy for Chan to go from second guitar to lead and just completely erase my existence from the band ... Erase it from your life."

"N-no. You have it all wrong," he got closer to you, grabbing onto your shoulders to make you look at him, "Nothing was ever the same. That's why it all failed. I couldn't function without you."

"Hah," your eyes wandered away from his in an avoidant manner, "I would've killed to hear that from you back then."

You took a breath, appearing to ponder whether or not to say your next statement, ultimately deciding on the former.

"I used to like you so much back then. Did you know?," you laughed at yourself, "It was, uh, one of the reasons why I left. I felt like I got rejected in every way. As a friend, as a bandmate, as ... as the girl who liked you."

Fuck.

It had been worse for you than Vernon ever imagined.

The same way he felt dejected at your disappearance, having been practically in love with you at the time, you must've felt that pain a hundred times over. The guy you liked threw you away so easily, of course you were going to assume Vernon would never return your feelings under those circumstances.

But you had it all wrong. Oh, so horribly wrong.

If you had ever given Vernon any indication of you liking him, he would've dropped everything for you. He knew that he should've done so regardless, specially considering you were best friends, but he was extremely immature and dumb at the time. His mind did not reason what effect his actions would have. At the time, your claims about being okay with leaving the band as long as it was for the best of its future were completely taken at face value by Vernon. Never would he have guessed that you had just said that to appease to him just because you liked him.

His prolonged silence allowed you to speak up once again.

"I really did want to try and root for you after you signed that contract, but seeing the guy I was so head over heels for throw me aside so easily settled on my mind after a few days. I realized there was no point either way. We would never be bandmates again, and you would never like me back."

"I didn't- I ... I had no idea. Fuck," he breathed a heavy breath, furrowing his eyebrows, "I was so in love with you. I'm ... I'm so incredibly in love with you."

He knew he fucked up in saying it, specially going by the shocked expression on your face. Your eyes were wide and your mouth agape.

"I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry. I know this isn't what you want to hear. I- I shouldn't have said anything, but I can't help myself anymore. I've loved you for years. I've been miserable thinking about how badly you hate me when you haven't left my mind for a single day. I love you. I'm sorry, I just ... I love you."

"Vernon ..."

He threw his hands up in frustration, "Don't. Fuck, I already know what you're going to say, just ... just don't-"

"Vernon, shut up!", you grabbed onto his head, making him lower himself down to you a bit and look into your eyes.

Vernon wasn't quite sure what your original plan was, but he saw you open and close your mouth a few times to speak, ultimately giving up to do something that would break Vernon's mind for the upcoming future.

Your lips against his own was something he thought of an embarrassing amount of times during his teens (and even now during his 20's), but it was always something he was certain would never happen. He had never actually planned for what he would do if you ever actually granted his wish. And so he remained limp against you for a few moments too long, making you pull away at the lack of reciprocation.

This was something he just couldn't have. In no world could he ever allow you to ever feel like he didn't want you. Never again. Before you could fully pull away, his arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you to your tip toes so that he could kiss you properly. When your feet flattened on the ground, his lips chased after yours, leaning down to keep himself connected to you.

The kiss was soft and delicate. There were some breathy sighs that were making Vernon's head feel fuzzy, but the kiss was innocent otherwise.

Or at least that was how it started.

Vernon wasn't sure who licked their way into the other's mouth first, but that bit of information didn't matter too much. What mattered was that gorgeous moan you let out when his tongue suckled on yours. What mattered was the way you let your body become limp against his touch, letting him back you up against the table and sit you on it. What mattered were your hands pulling at his hair in sheer desperation for more.

You weren't the only culprit, though. Vernon was equally, if not more, desperate for you. His mind and his body were in a battle, with one wanting to pull away and discuss what your current feelings for him where, and the other fighting the urge to flip you around and bend you over the table.

Thankfully, you made the decision for him.

Your hands snuck under his shirt, delicate fingers gracing the skin of his stomach before allowing your hands to freely feel up his abs and chest. Shuddering, he became lightheaded at the simple contact, having been in such constant want for your touch all these years that even the simplest of contact had him losing his sanity. Unlike you, his hands were not as daring as yours in fear of scaring you away somehow. They remained rubbing your clothed waist and hips, far too shy to do what they really yearned to.

Images flashed in his head of every nasty thing he wanted to do to you. Every single night in which you'd somehow invade his mind with a fog of lust came running back, a myriad of ideas making it all the harder to hold back. He wanted you to have control. As hard as it was to just sit there and will his already prominent boner into staying still, Vernon could not act on any desire. You had to be the one to initiate it.

And thank fucking god you did.

Within some short moments, your hands threw off Vernon's shirt, pulling him closer to you as you became even more shameless in how you felt him up. Seeing his hands remain stagnant on your waist, you disconnected his lips, staring into his own with a blissed out look on your face.

Fuck.

You were already fucked up. Your eyes had nothing but lust in them. They had a hard time not making their way to his lips, which were still dangerously close to your own. He couldn't blame you. Despite being out of breath from kissing all this time, his own lips were already aching to encompass your own again.

Before he could kiss you again with a petulant whine, your hands guided his own to your clothed breasts, pressing them up against his palms with a delicious little whine that made Vernon press his cock against the table under you.

"Touch me? Feel me up? Fuck ... want your hands all over me," you breathed between sensual licks at his open mouth.

Fuck.

Oh, fuck.

How was he supposed to do this?

You sounded so pretty for him ... so horny and needy and just so fucking desperate for him.

You were the prettiest fucking thing he had ever seen – and you were begging for Vernon to feel you up? You were already begging and he hadn't even had the chance to actually touch you yet? Vernon had no idea how he was going to survive you, but he'd just have to will his body into doing so.

He didn't need any further instruction, his hands immediately following the task of rubbing and squeezing at every inch of skin. Every clothed curve was victim to his grabby hands, touching you and pressing you up against him like he'd die if he didn't. Your breathy little moans at his touch only made him feel like even more of a depraved animal.

You kissed and kissed and kissed. It was the nastiest mess of tongues and saliva, but Vernon couldn't help but feel extremely turned on by it. You were so ... so fucking desperate for him. Shameless in your actions, you licked and sucked at his tongue, holding his jaw in place so you could do as you pleased with his tongue. And when he couldn't match your pace due to how foggy his mind was? You stopped him, breathing against his lips that you'd show him how you liked to be kissed just before licking sensually into his mouth yet again.

Having been far too into the kiss, Vernon didn't even notice when you started undoing his belt, hands teasing his cock occasionally by gracing it through his pants and immediately coming back up when his hips tried to chase your touch.

"Baby ... Need you so bad," you moaned at him after a while.

'Baby'? He was 'baby' now?

Vernon couldn't even take a minute to process the lustful voice in which you had called him baby before his poor, weak, lust-ridden brain got distracted by you pulling your own shirt off.

It was almost comical the way in which Vernon froze at the sight. The two gorgeous mounds staring at him, pretty bralette encompassing them as you grabbed his hands and put them on your tits, begging him to touch you there. And Vernon wasn't an idiot. He touched you to his heart's contentment, groaning against your mouth every time you'd arch your back and press your chest up against his hands even more.

You were an entirely different version from the one he'd always known. You were so needy and soft and sensitive, completely unlike the stubborn and cold side of you you had shown him these past months. But Vernon wasn't about to complain when he had you so pliant for him, so whiny as you pleaded for him to touch you more.

His hands tugged and pinched at your nipples, lips swallowing every single cry of pleasure you let out. Your own hands scratched at his chest, with harsher marks being left behind every time he pinched at your tits relatively hard.

Growing easily frustrated, you separated his hands from your breasts, throwing off your bra before beginning to grind against him, encouraging him to push up his hips against your own.

Vernon was already painfully hard at just the privilege of feeling you up, so he was somewhat scared that he might end up cumming in his pants if you kept this up for so long. All it took was one single bump of your cunt against his cock for him to throw that concern aside and grind into your awaiting cunt as the two of you continued to kiss.

Breathless, he pulled away, finally getting to have a view of your nude breasts. That's when he lost control of himself.

He groaned and moaned and made every inhumane noise you could think of as he made love to your tits with his tongue. Never had he ever put so much dedication into anything as he did into making out with your tits. And fuck was it worth it. Your hips sped up against his own, hands burying in his hair as you pressed his head against your tit and cried his name in the prettiest of sighs.

There was no way in hell Vernon was going to last. He needed a saving grace.

Mustering all his willpower, Vernon disconnected himself from you completely, grabbing your hand and walking you over to the couch in the studio. On his way there, he kicked off his already loose pants and threw off his shoes. His original plan was to lay you down on it, crawl over you as he kissed every inch of your body and then worship his way into fucking you missionary, – so he could see and kiss you all throughout, just in the way he always imagined – but you stopped him in his tracks.

Pushing him onto the couch, you sat him down before shuffling your sweats off and straddling him, putting your hands on his shoulders.

"I wanna ride you. Can I?", you asked, getting straight to the point.

"You- you wanna .."

"I've been thinking about this since high school. And ... you kinda owe me, you know, after kicking me out of my own band," you joked.

"If letting you ride me is payback, then I take it back. I regret nothing," this granted him a frown and a slap on his chest, but he took it as a champ, enjoying the familiar banter he once shared with you.

Placing his large hands on your hips, he somehow got you even closer to him, "Ride me? Hmm, baby?", he kissed up your neck, taking advantage of the clear desire he knew you felt for him.

"I, ah ... Nonnie ... Please. Want your cock, it's so big," you sighed, neck tilting so he could have more space to kiss.

"Gotta prep you first, baby."

You shook your head, huffing, "'m already so wet, Nonnie. Wanna feel?"

With no warning, you snuck your hand under the tiny little excuse for panties you were wearing, gathering some tasty nectar for him to taste. He let out a gruttal groan at your taste, feeling lightheaded at the thought of someday having the privilege to eat your cunt until you begged and sobbed for him to stop.

But that would come some other day. Now, he needed to sit you down on his cock before he lost his mind. If you thought you were wet enough, and you were desperate enough to beg for him repeatedly, then who was he to deny you?

Helping you awkwardly remove your panties while he shoved his boxers down as much as he could while sitting, he helped you lift yourself up a bit to line him up, throwing his head back when you instead chose to drag his tip up and down your cunt.

"Baby ... If you don't sit on me, I'm going to fucking cum before I even get to feel you, and I don't wanna embarrass myself like that. So, please let me have it," he begged for a change, eyes squeezed shut as he attempted to make his body hold back as much as possible.

Taking pity on him (or likely just equally as horny), you finally sat down on him, showing very small signs of struggle at his size.

"F-fuck ... Nonnie, it's so big, it's so- Oh ... fuck."

"Nonnie! Feels so good ... Oh, it's so good, Nonnie."

"Baby, need more ... Need you to fuck me. Please? Cock's so fucking good."

"Want it in my mouth, Nonnie. It's so thick n so fucking big. Looks so, fuck, so delicious. Wanna choke on it so bad ..."

These were only some of the filthy expletives you cried out as you bounced on his cock like a depraved girl. You desire for him alone was enough to make Vernon want to give up and dedicate his body to your pleasure, knowing that your gorgeous body would always give him the same, if not more, pleasure in return.

It got so bad for him that at some point, he simply couldn't hold back anymore, his feet settling firmly on the ground before tightening his grip on your hips and beginning to bounce you up and down his cock while his hips canted up with inmensurable speed.

"Cunt's so tight, baby. Never letting you go again. 's all for me, right? Get to have you every day now," he mumbled against your chest, lips chasing your tits every now and then.

"Y-yes, Nonnie. All for you! Missed you so much, Nonnie. Thought of you every day," you hiccuped, back arching to give him better access to your tits, "I was so heartbroken over you ... Never letting you go now. You're mine. Right, Nonnie?"

He nodded and cried at your words, heartbroken just at the thought of your own heartbreak. He had to remind himself that none of that mattered anymore. Now he finally had you. The dam had finally broken and allowed the two of you to end your prolonged animosity and give you a chance to finally be his. Just how he had been yours all these years.

Your love making (if you could even call it that considering the animalistic nature of it) could only last so long before Vernon finally burst, which meant he had to take matters into his own hands and make sure you found your end with him. Reaching between you, his hand searched for your clit, finding it in only a few seconds. Disconnecting his head from your chest, he went back to kissing your neck, reaching your ear so he could talk you through your orgasm.

"Need you to cum for me, okay, baby? Love you so much ... Need to cum together, pretty, yeah?",

"L-love you! So much, Nonnie ... Never stopped."

Those were the last words you managed to let out before your orgasm took over you, whining the prettiest cries Vernon had ever heard. The tightening of your cunt finally allowed Vernon to let go, joining you in your high as neither of your hips halted their movements.

Holding you all throughout, Vernon had never felt as close to anyone else as he did to you in this moment. If you needed to hate him in order to protect yourself from his betrayal, then Vernon fully accepted it. No part of him blamed you for keeping him at an arm's length at all times. Specially if this was the final outcome. Now that he finally had you, he didn't care what journey he had to live through to get here. All he cared about was the gorgeous girl of his dreams crying in his arms as pleasure overtook her.

Your orgasms had been so incredibly intense that you needed some moments to catch your breaths before speaking up. That, and all the emotions that must've been going through your minds.

Holding each other despite the silence, you stayed like that for a few minutes, simply nuzzling against each other as a demonstration of love for one another. Vernon's mind still couldn't believe the reciprocation of your feelings. His heart was still beating far too loud under your touch, but he felt at ease.

"I really do love you," he spoke against your neck, "And I'll never stop regretting what I did to you."

You created a small distance between you to look at him, caressing his cheek in your hand as you spoke.

"I'll never be okay with what you did, but I love you. You were young, and you made a mistake. I can't stand hating you anymore."

He smiled, turning his head to kiss the palm you had against his cheek.

"You can hate me, as long as you love me too," he said. He knew it made no sense, but he also knew you understood.

"I love you," you said again with a smile.

"I love you."

to read short 2.3k word continuation you can go join my monthly tier on kofi or patreon!

content: smut, afab reader, comfort sex, face riding, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 714 (teaser); 2379 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

"Isn't it unprofessional for you to ask an ex member to join the band again just cause you're sleeping together?", asked Chan as he tuned his guitar absentmindedly.

"For the last time, that's not why I'm asking her. I've wanted her back for years, you guys know this. I'm just rectifying a mistake."

You giggled from your seat on the couch, enjoying that the guys still gave Vernon a hard time for what he had done all those years back.

The news of your relationship had come as a surprise only to a few people. Most of your friends had seen it coming from miles. The sexual tension was just too high, or at least that's what Jeonghan had said when you first broke the news, Seungkwan nodding in agreement.

After that day in the studio, you and Vernon entered an annoyingly disgusting honeymoon phase. Unfortunately for everyone else, this phase seemed to be endless. Two months in, and you were still attached to the hip, unable to keep your hands or eyes away from each other.

Your newfound revelation of love for Vernon also brought back up old dynamics between the two of you. With his encouragement, you began occasionally playing with the guys, sometimes joining in as second guitar on stage, standing at the back, right next to Vernon and his drums. Your relationship was a point of conversation for fans, but you still kept it private among the people in the company.

Currently, Vernon had made the executive decision that he wanted you to officially be featured in a remixed version of one of their most successful songs from their debut album. The plan had already been there, but Vernon's suggestion of having you on the track rather than anyone else had surprised some people at the company, especially when they found out you agreed.

Vernon had been incredibly busy all week, leaving this as the first time he'd been able to see all of you together to briefly discuss the future plans for the track. His plan was to make a quick stop and then finally rest in your arms back at your apartment.

"Anyways, you should never forget that she was lead guitar before you ever were. We could always just send you to the back again," interrupted Seungkwan, giving Chan an unserious yet pointed look.

Chan raised his hands in defense, "Hey! I'm not the one who kicked her out!"

Groaning, Vernon walked over to you and buried his face in your neck, tired features clear in his face as he wrapped his arms around your waist, "Make them stop. Please."

Giggling again, you opted for a better option, taking the clearly tired boy by the hand and leaving the studio, bidding your goodbyes to the guys.

You had only stopped by to say hi to your friends while on your way to your apartment, knowing Vernon was tired from a long day of recording for various other activities he had recently embarked in as a new face in the industry. They were already aware you'd be recording a song with them, but simply enjoyed giving Vernon a hard time. Maybe even more than you did.

On the ride home, Vernon had fallen asleep, absentmindedly cuddling against you on the back of the car. Vernon had naturally taken on the role of the main face of the group, which also came with endless work and promotions he sometimes had to do solo, just like today. You were more fortunate in that area, making most of your money off royalties and not needing to make public appearances at any point.

When you finally arrived home, you continued dragging Vernon along with you, who would only groan occasionally at the thought of even stepping foot into the elevator. Making it all the way to your suite had taken a while due to the size of the building, but when you made it, Vernon immediately threw off his shirt and stripped down to his boxers, letting himself fall face first into the bed, groaning at the mattress cushioning his fall.

You stared for a few moments, thinking of what you could do to help your tired boyfriend relax after a tiresome week of work. Then the idea suddenly came to you.

...

find 2.3k word continuation on either kofi or patreon!

[lethesbeastie]

Hi, I saw your post about practicing drawing fat people and I was wondering if you could compile like a list of resources or references?

It can be difficult to find resources for drawing the wide variety of forms fat bodies can occupy, so I've done my best to bring together some resources I've been able to prove have some degree of diversity in the references they offer!

My primary resource recommendation for drawing fat people is Morpho Anatomy For Artists: Fat And Skin Folds! It does a wonderful job breaking down where fat accumulates on the body, how it interacts with the familiar landmarks of human anatomy, and what sort of shapes it tends to form under the influence of gravity. It's a phenomenal reference and my top recommendation for anyone seeking to improve at drawing fat people!

When it comes to finding decent photo references for fat people, the pickings are frustratingly slim. Most sites that specialize in pose references either don't have fat models or have all their images behind paywalls. Of the resources I looked through, the best sources for pose references were Adorkastock and Line of Action.

@adorkastock actively seeks to provide an incredible profile of pose references with diverse body types, and as an added bonus you can access a lot of their images for free on their site/Tumblr or join their patreon for early access to images! Line of action is a site aimed towards practicing figure drawing, providing images and a timed function to challenge artists to sketch within a set time limit. I took the time to go through roughly 300+ images and was pleased to find that during my session around two-to-three out of every ten photos were fat models. The only caveats to this was the fact that most of the images were of the same individual, limiting the applications for studying the variants of fat bodies. Still, it's an amazing tool that has a free mode and allows you to filter the types of references you want based on age and level of nudity.

Beyond sites that specialize in art reference photography, there's also the ever popular Pinterest, which is the site where I typically seek references for my personal studies. Due to the nature of Pinterest's extensive collection, there's a vast variety of references for different fat body types that includes a lot more "everyday" people. The primary issue with Pinterest however is the rampant reposting and lack of proper credits for images, which can make things dicey depending on how you wish to use the references you find. For personal studies this isn't really an issue, but for any sort of professional or paid work is something to be aware of just for the sake of accountability.

* For those who are 18+, porn photography of real people also offers an incredible wealth of visual resources for fat bodies and how they interact with gravity/movement/etc. The variety of positions and angles offer many opportunities to study human anatomy, and it's a pretty well-known fact that drawing NSFW art can be an important learning experience for those struggling with drawing anatomy. In the end, it depends on your personal level of comfort with viewing/drawing explicit images, but it's not something you should completely overlook.

Last but not least, look at the work of artists you admire who draw fat people! While I typically recommend sticking to photo references for learning anatomy, studying artist's portrayals of fat people is also incredibly helpful for learning different tactics for simplifying and/or stylizing fat bodies to better fit ones own style. There are also plenty of artists who've crafted tutorials detailing their approach to drawing fat folks, so I highly recommend you check them out as well! I hope the resources I've linked here can help you in your studies, and feel free to drop another ask if you have any more questions! I'm planning on posting a tutorial on how I do studies for fat people soon, so that will be an additional resource for you once I've got it posted!

[hauntedwitch04]

I hate you Black

Regulus Black x reader

Words: about 4.1k words

Warnings: some angst, sexy Reggie and some funny times

Author’s note: Hi everybody! It's so good being back, I missed writing and this is the first one-shot I write in a lot of time, so I'm really grateful for every tiny bit of love you gave me. This is my first time writing for the kinktober, hope you enjoy my writing.

P.s. i don't really now how much is hate fuck this fic, but here we are.

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KINKTOBER -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. KINKTOBER TAGLIST 2023

DAY 1: Hate fucking

To say that Regulus and I do not get along is an understatement.

We have been part of the same group of friends, namely the Marauders, for years now, since both my brother, James, and his brother, Sirius, are best friends, in fact they often consider each other almost brothers, on the contrary however the two of us have not been able to find common ground and usually always end up insulting each other and playing stupid jokes to irritate the other person.

Since our first year at Hogwarts, we have clashed because of our pride and desire to prove ourselves better than the other, and this challenge has continued outside of school, in everyday life.

This party is no different.

Sirius and Remus wanted to inaugurate the new apartment they decided to get, to live together, after being together for almost a year already, and so they threw a party with all their closest friends, including me and the younger Black.

I don't quite remember how I ended up straddling him with my hands around his neck, but I do remember the reason for that choice. Between his various jokes and yet another spilled glass on my favorite shirt because of his "carelessness," although we all know that if anyone is graceful it is him, the moment he mentioned what is now my ex-boyfriend. Just before coming to the party, in fact, that asshole decided to break up with me, telling me that he never actually felt anything really important for me, and that I was merely a fling that lasted too long and that now he actually already has another girlfriend and I was just in the way. A year and a half. We stayed together a year and a half, and he had to say that and turn away without looking back, or without a bit of shame or guilt, he didn't even apologize to me for shamelessly cheating on me. Part of me didn't even want to come to the party, but I love Siri and Remmy too much to let them down, so I took heart and convinced myself that I would have a good time, but at Regulus' words, "Where's your boyfriend? Is he tired of you too?", I saw no more. Smoke began to come out of my ears, my vision turned black, and inside I felt only a single emotion.

I realize what I was doing only after James detaches me from Regulus, while Sirius grabs his brother, and pulls him away from me.

"Are you totally crazy? You could have killed me!" Says Regulus shocked as he holds a hand to his throat, still struggling to breathe.

"Too bad, it will be for next time then." I answer coldly, to go toward the hall to get my coat, while I quickly apologize to the hosts and say I have to go home, because I don't feel too well. Both James and Sirius, Remus and Lily try to stop me, thinking it's because of guilt, but I really don't want them to see me crying and having to explain later that my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and left me, and now I just feel like a pathetic little girl who can't be loved.

I hurry out of the house and immediately get hit by the cold autumn wind, which envelops me like a hug and shakes my hair, making it go over my face, thus tickling my nose. I smile and start walking toward my house, although it is quite far away, in fact I had come with my brother. I try to contain my emotions, but the tranquility and peace of the city at this hour give me enough security to let my tears flow freely down my cheeks. There is not a living soul to judge me, or so I thought.

I hear footsteps approaching behind me, someone is running toward me, so I turn around and see a breathless Regulus Black standing still, leaning on his knees and signaling to me to wait a second.

I try to wipe away my tears so that he can see that I was crying, but it is too late now, because his expression immediately changes and he seems confused by what he is seeing.

"I don't need your stupid excuses, go back to the others and tell them the bitch is not ready to be insulted by you again." I say trying to distract him as I turn and start walking faster, but a hand grabs my shoulder and makes me turn around.

"Are you crying?" Regulus asks, under his breath, as if even he does not believe the scene before him.

"Has anyone ever told you that you are as sharp as Sherlock Holmes." I say trying to wriggle out of his grip, but he brings his second hand to my face, and wipes away a couple of tears that had reached my chin.

"If it's something I said, I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't want to come and apologize, they forced me, however, I never wanted to make you cry, I was just playing with you." He continues, not caring what I had said. He looks me straight in the eye and I see his sincerity, and I don't know why I start to cry more. He looks at me unsure of what to do, before hugging me. As we are squeezed in that hug I tell him the real reason I was crying and apologize to him for what I had done earlier at the party. As I finish my story, he pulls away from that hold and looks into my eyes again.

"Hey, he's the asshole, not you. And he's also stupid if he didn't see the magnificent person he had beside him." He tells me firmly and sweetly at the same time.

"Says the boy who has been insulting me since we were eleven years old." I reply sarcastically as I stare into his eyes, and I can't lie to myself. I've always thought Regulus is a handsome boy, but damn, right now he looks like a deity come down to earth to teach us what beauty is.

"Hey I may be an asshole, maybe even a little stupid, but it's not like I'm blind." He continues, smiling at me as he looks at my lips. "You know I think I found a more appropriate way to apologize." He whispers as he moves even closer to my lips.

My brain cannot process the moment, everything seems fuzzy. Its scent, fresh mint, coffee and cigarettes, intoxicates me like a drug, and I can't do anything but screw it up to do what my instinct tells me to do.

"Know that it will not be easy to make it up to you for everything you have done to me. You were very, very mean to me." I whisper before kissing him, tired of that game.

I feel like giving my first kiss for the second time. Our lips chase each other, eating each other, needing each other. I feel my hands run through his hair, while his rests on my hips and draws me to him in a death grip.

We continue kissing, and time seems to stop, even the dry leaves seem to stand still in the air, waiting for our future to be drawn, anxious to see our next move.

Eventually we part, to catch our breath, and a faint laugh escapes from my lips.

"Know that I hate you anyway." I tell him and he can't help but chuckle, before taking on a serious look.

"Would you like to come to my house. You know I'd like to apologize for good, and show you that you've had really bad taste in men so far." He says seductively in my ear.

"You have to be careful what you say Black, because it could backfire on you with this sentence." I reply, trying to hide the emotions it is stirring in me.

"No baby, I'm going to show you how a real man should treat you, and not the idiot you used to date." He continues, whispering on my lips, before leaving a light kiss, as light as a butterfly resting gracefully on a flower.

"Know that this does not take away from the fact that I hate you." I reply, still partly in trance after that kiss.

"This just means that I will have to work harder at apologizing." Regulus replies, before stepping back a little, and removing the scarf around his neck, to give it to me. I didn't even notice that I'm shaking, too engrossed in this moment.

"Come on, let's go to my place, it's not too far." Says the boy, putting an arm on my shoulder, thus blocking any possibility of my thinking with his intoxicating scent for the second time this evening. After a few minutes of walking we arrive in front of a dark door, for which young Black quickly pulls out the key to open it.

Once inside the house, I am amazed at how the entire apartment is furnished. Dark furniture stands out against the green and white walls. Soft lights illuminate the rooms, giving it a cozy atmosphere. Every item is meticulously placed in a studied spot, everything is perfect, every note played with the right pitch to create a wonderful harmony.

I am lost in looking around the room when I feel a pair of hands drawing me toward them.

One hand gently removes my scarf, while another turns me around. In Regulus' eyes I see pure pleasure, and this only creates an unpleasant wet feeling in my panties.... We look at each other for a second before pouncing on each other like hungry prey, moving slowly down the stairs and into the bedroom. He pulls me back until I touch the bed with my knees, then drops me down, pulling away from the kiss. I look at him and see his lips red and swollen as he struggles to catch his breath. His hair is messy from my fingers, yet he has never looked more beautiful to me than in this moment. I watch him slowly approach the button of my jeans like a fierce lion studying its prey, and then with a precise and quick gesture, unbutton my pants. In the blink of an eye these lie on the floor, tossed from some indefinite part of the room. The only thing now separating him from his goal is my underwear, but before he can take the next step, I gently place a foot on his chest and look seductively at him.

"Hold your horses Black, if you want to play with me you have to do it right. One garment each at a time, I lost my pants, now you have to take something off." I say looking at him carefully, and he chuckles at my words.

"You can be really obnoxious Potter, you know that?" He asks wryly as he removes his sweatshirt, revealing his bare chest, since he has no shirt underneath. For a moment I am breathless at that ethereal sight. Her white skin glows in the moonlight entering the room. His physique is muscular but not overly so, I can tell he works out a lot and holds himself, but it's also not excessive. I get flashbacks of seeing him practicing Quidditch at Hogwarts shirtless with sweaty hair in the wind, and immediately I find myself having to make the physical effort to not cum in that same instant.

"I try my best." I respond seductively as I watch him lower himself, going on his knees, getting to be at the same level as my pussy.

"Now if you don't mind, I have a promise to keep: to prove that your asshole ex is nothing compared to me." He says before pouncing on me as if I were a feast. I don't have time to respond because he immediately starts kissing my inner thigh, both from the right and the left until he reaches his booty. Slowly, with his teeth, he grabs my panties, leaving a few wet kisses on my skin and making me shiver, and slowly he slides them all the way down my legs.

It is the most terrible, nerve-wracking, and sexy torture I have ever had to endure.

"I thought you were supposed to make it up to me Black, not make me madder." I say in a voice little louder than a sigh as I feel his hot breath on the center of my pleasure.

"Oh baby, I still have to start apologizing, and get ready because I want to do it right." He says, as he caresses the most intimate part of me with his lips. A second later, pure pleasure invades my every sense as he begins to kiss the lips of my pussy. I feel his tongue caressing me, as my hands wriggle in his hair, drawing him ever closer to the center of my pleasure, and with my eyes around his name like a song, between moans and expletives. I hear him smile at my reaction, and just as I was about to respond rudely to him, he increases my torture by adding a finger, taking it in and out of my opening. A few minutes thus pass, me hovering on the edge of pleasure, just as he looks up and shifts slightly. His mouth is completely wet from my pleasure, while I curse for the missed orgasm.

"You'd better finish what you started Black, because I swear that on the contrary you can distantly forget any chance of me being more generous to you." I say, trying to catch my breath.

"I was just catching my breath for the grand finale." He replies with a small smile, seeing my desperation.

"Go fuck yourself."

"I think that's what we're doing baby. What, I'm too good and you're not used to feeling so much pleasure?" He says smiling again as again, he turns me around kissing my entire thigh.

"By Merlin, how I hate you Black." I gasp, between groans.

"Try to convince yourself of this all you want honey, but we both know that right now your orgasms depend on me." And with that he begins his feast again, with more eagerness, and again, in a few minutes I am again on the brink of absolute pleasure, but this time I manage to go further, and for a moment I feel like I can touch the sky with my finger. I feel the blankets tighten between my fingers as I moan his name, almost screaming it, as if I want the world to know who was responsible for so much pleasure.

A few seconds pass, as I try to regain possession of my body and mind, before he speaks again.

"Fuck, that was the sexiest thing I've ever seen." He says giggling, before starting to kiss my body again, slowly, savoring every inch. He pulls off my shirt, as I now recovered from all that unexpected pleasure, taking off my bra. I see him staring at my breasts, before teasing my nipples, one with his tongue and one with his fingers. He bites, sucking my breasts, leaving signs of his passage as I try not to lose myself again in that spiral of pleasure.

"Damn, you don't know how long I've wanted to touch them, taste them, mark them as my own." He says in a gasp, before switching nipples and moving on to the other. Meanwhile then I try to distract him by opening his pants, but as soon as I try to touch his dick, he stops and moves my hand away, looking me straight in the eye.

"Tonight is just for you, not for me, now let me continue and make you feel like the goddess you are." At her words I can't help but hold back a sigh of pleasure.

"Now I understand why everyone was falling at your feet in school, you really have a gift for talking to girls." I say, as I feel his lips go up my neck, leaving me biting and hickeys as he passes.

"Too bad the one girl I really wanted did nothing but blow me off and tell me she hated me." She tells me, before kissing me passionately. Somehow I can still taste myself on his lips, or rather in his mouth, as we explore every nook and cranny of it with our tongues.

"Maybe he was telling you that he hated you, because all he could do was wish to fuck you in the broom closet." I answer between kisses as I hear him take off his underpants and pull down his underwear.

For the first time I realize perhaps truly the situation I am in. Our naked bodies, rubbing against each other, dancing a love dance of their own, as we struggle against each other to win.

He chuckles at my words as he moves to kiss me along my arm, while using his hand to reach over to the nightstand to grab a condom and put it on as he counters.

"And I would rather tell you that I hated you than confess that every night I dreamed of fucking you against a wall." He pauses for a moment, and smiles at me before continuing, with that obnoxious grin of his. "Although I would have said you were more of a quickie in the bathroom type."

"It happened only once, and with a Ravenclaw prick who had already done half my year, while I was half-drunk at a party, after watching you stick your tongue half a foot down the throat of a Hufflepuff slut." I confess by looking into his eyes, and I notice that amidst the pleasure now also shines a spark of astonishment. "Now get a move on, though, Black, for now you're all talk and no action." I continue, with an amused little smile.

"Merlin, if you say one more word, I swear I'll plug your mouth with your panties." He says, taking his dick in his hand, aligning it with my entrance.

"Oh you just have to try, assh- Oh my god!" I try to respond, but he blocks me by entering me overbearingly, immediately I feel my body almost leave the earthly world for pleasure. His dick is bigger than I would have expected, and certainly bigger than my ex's. Immediately he seems to touch all the places that give me the most pleasure, and my mind cannot process a concrete thought.

"I hate you Black." This is the only thing I can say as he is still still inside me, making me get used to his size. "I don't think I can do without your dick from now on, and this is all your fault." I continue as he tries to move slowly, in and out of me, as he murmurs a few dirty words under his breath.

"Oh you are adorable baby." He says before kissing my neck again as he increases the force and speed of his thrusts. "But if you really think I would let you go after this time you are crazy. I hate you too you know, I hate the fact that I am now addicted to this tight, hot, wet pussy of yours. Fuck I think I've found heaven." He gasps near my ear. We continue this dance like this, until a few minutes later, we are almost at the height of pleasure.

"Please Reg, don't stop. I'm cumming:" I plead with him, before stifling my continued moans of pleasure, leaving kisses, bites and hickeys on his neck as my hands scratch his muscular back. I feel him stiffen at my touch.

"Me too baby." He gasps, then increases the speed. A few thrusts, and we both reach orgasm.

We remain still for a moment, enjoying that feeling of pleasure and the warmth of the closeness of our bodies. We don't say a word, let silence fill the space between us, before we kiss again.

This time the kiss is different, not passionate and oozing sex like the others, it is more gentle and sweet, as if through that contact we want to express all those repressed feelings kept inside us all these years and that we cannot describe in words.

He moves from on top of me and lies on his side, while still keeping his arms around my waist. I slowly feel fatigue take possession of me as he gets out of bed to head for the bathroom and get a towel with which my private parts, now too sensitive, in fact a shiver runs down my spine and he seeing it apologizes to me.

When he is finished he lies down again beside me and hugs me, making me feel warm and safe. Just before I fall asleep I look into his eyes and manage to say something.

"You're on the right path to forgiveness, but maybe you need to try a little harder." And he can't help but laugh at those words. "I don't hate you that much anyway, I guess." I continue, as I snuggle against his chest.

"Fortunately." He replies. "Because I don't hate you at all, maybe just the opposite I dare say. "

The next morning I wake up after him. Regulus is already out of bed. He is wearing a pair of sweatpants, and he is shirtless. I can tell right away that he has just gotten out of the shower because I can see his wet hair, however, I can hear him talking to someone on the phone. Feeling my eyes on him he turns and sees that I am awake, and he smiles at me.

"Yes Sirius, I promise I didn't say anything stupid." He says with a bored look on his face as he watches me sit up in bed, my hair still tousled from sleep.

"I apologized, very deeply last night, but I may have to do it one more time to make sure you understand what I meant." She continues to talk to her brother as she gives me a wink and immediately I feel my cheeks go hot from what she said.

"Yes, yes. I love you too. Bye Siri, see you later." He greets his brother as he turns around and then sets the phone down on one of the pieces of furniture next to him, and there I realize all the marks I left on him last night. In the night we then woke up and made love a couple more times. Just thinking about it I feel my pussy getting all wet, even just remembering all that happened.

"I was going to make you breakfast before you woke up but since you are already awake I would suggest you take a shower while I make you breakfast. Is that okay with you?" He asks me, and I can't find my voice to answer him, so I smile and nod. He smiles back, leaving me a kiss on my forehead and then goes downstairs to cook.

I stay in bed for a second and letting out a sigh I realize perhaps for the first time that I hated Regulus Black so much, that I ended up falling in love with him, since the line is so thin that for a long time you can think you are hovering between the two, and only when you land do you realize that you slipped into one of the two worlds long before.

BONUS

Remus watches Sirius talk to his brother on the phone as he asks him if he finally apologized to little Potter. Once the call is over Sirius puts the phone down and looks at his boyfriend.

"They fucked." Remus says, before sipping coffee from his favorite mug.

"They got laid." Sirius confirms, laughing, while Lily, who had stayed over with her boyfriend James, sighs with relief.

"Finally, the situation was becoming unbearable. By now all you could do every time was expect them to jump at each other's throats with a knife or fuck in the guest bathroom." Lily says as she looks at James, who has a horrified look on his face.

"Hey, we're still talking about my little sister!" He says, looking at his friends and his girlfriend.

"Look at it this way, at least now we're really brothers." Try proposing Sirius.

"And probably uncles, too." Remus and Lily say in unison.

No one can hold back a laugh seeing James' horrified face.

TAGLIST (Kinktober special)

@samanddeansannoyingsis @forsiriussake @thedogisontopofyhecarmom @estrellademiel @ohemgeewhat @kidsaproblem @camelliaflow3r @the-house-of-rose-and-ember @hi-my-name-is-riley @morganalatina21 @nightfiress @shodowbane09 @theyluvtrinity21 @supernatural-lvr

[badlydrawnronpa]

hi anon ty for sending the message! I did look through their blog and they very obviously use AI - I would've published the ask normally to let other people know but I decided against it in the end because after a closer inspection I noticed that all commissions are fake (besides being fake art I mean) and they're not actually scamming anyone because. uh. literally most of the blogs I saw interact with them are empty rp blogs that are blatantly controlled by them and one of the commissions I saw on their patreon was for a defunct ohsc rp blog from 2014??? Which honestly was really funny.

so yeah, they're very much not pulling any money from that, and on top of it all they posted pics of themselves sooooo yeh, not going to blast them on a blog with a big following for trying the 'i dont use ai im a real artist' but ultimately not scamming anyone out of their money. They're also not the best at like... hiding they're using AI because you can see their traditional art in other posts, and the style or experience level doesn't match at all.

I will post some of their AI stuff underneath the read more and point out the inconsistencies tho, to help out other people in spotting out ai shit (esp non artists that might have an harder time figuring things out). If you find out the original user that posted these, please don't harass them, be civil.

BTW I'M SAYING THIS NOW: if you see something I point out and say ''ah, I do that, I'm in trouble" - no you're not, if you actually draw the stuff yourself. You can see when an artist's work (and mistakes!) are genuine. Beginner's mistakes can be made by experienced artists too, but if you look at their entire body of work you can see when something doesn't add up.

to start off, I saw anon calling them out on this one so I'm just reiterating some of the points, but here's some junko 'art' they made

when confronted abt it, they said that the fingers look weird because they can't control their shaky hands and drawing small is hard. anyway if you draw digitally you can zoom in on the canvas and work on a detail as big as you need, so that excuse doesn't hold

this other post was basically what made me just say 'yep thats ai' and it was just the second 'art' post I saw from them

while taken alone they could've been a little harder to spot as AI, with them all bundled together you can easily see they came from the same prompt; the user tried to justify the inconsistencies saying it was because they were 'experimenting' with the design of their oc and gundham's scar but I'm telling you now, no sane artist fully renders four pieces that are basically the same concept while changing the design of the character just slightly in every single one of them. anyway, here's the breakdown of every piece:

another that was way easier to break down because it's so full of inconsistencies the moment you really take a look at it

also let's be real if you render art like that you're not gonna put a bright purple unreadable text on your supposed vtuber "art"

let's end this with the AI "commission" that could be harder to break down as AI if seen in a vacuum now, shall we? esp because our friend, the fucked up melty finger, isn't there

I honestly had to look for a while at this one because if you had shown it to me and I didn't see the other stuff this person posted, I could've just chalked up a lot of these mistakes to human error. Tangents between lines, scribbles for details, forgotten uncolored sections is all normal stuff. BUT we know this person used AI in all the other posts, so we know what to look at:

again, some mistakes the AI does can be also mistakes actual artists do: be sure to check the other art the user makes before throwing accusations

they also posted a fake speedpaint that is so embarassing it made me laugh but if I start pointing out inconsistencies in an AI speedpaint we're gonna be here for a long time, so.

TL;DR AI 'ART' SIGNS:

The classics: hands and fingers don't make sense, there's additional weird lines and they melt into other part of the drawing

long hair strands and other long or flowy elements can suddenly disappear behind objects and not reappear where they should

jewels, intricate details, hairpins and other accessories bend and melt into each other and other part of the design

the resolution of the image is very low and/or grainy - a lot of artists post lower res pieces online, but again: look for a pattern and combos of all the other signs

inconsistencies between multiple art posts, character designs constantly being different, sudden art style changes - while this can also be found with real artists, this is an additional tell of someone using AI, when combined with the stuff I mentioned above. humans mistakes usually have a reason for what they happen, AI makes them because it doesnt understand what it's doing most of the time

[meanbossart]

Ask compilation: DU drow, Orin, Astarion, lore things and little fun facts.

Trying to make a dent in this dang inbox. As always, thank you so much everyone for your patience and curiosity! Sorry that it is straight up no longer possible for me to reply to everyone, but I will keep doing my best within reason. Enjoy!

Absolutely! I had a lot of requests for bottom Astarion on my patreon which is why I was kind of on a roll there for a minute.

Though, for the record - I am really not very invested in strict bedroom roles at all. Or clear and distinct dominant/submissive dynamics. So please don't overthink it whenever there's a switch, no pun intended.

You wanna know how often they smash? Man, I don't know, I guess fairly often considering their lifestyle post-game (very active, often on the road).

Assuming that everyone agrees that sex doesn't have to involve penetration, I'd say once every other day or less, really depends on the circumstances though. DU drow's libido is much higher than Astarion's, but he's not an animal and can hold off fine. Astarion is likely to be pickier in regards to location and how-recently-have-we-bathed status as well.

I keep meaning to draw him, but I have like... A million things I want to do 😂 so its rough!

BUT you will at least continue to see him in ANE! And I'm sure i'm bound to draw him again in the future.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

If you mean in his bhaalist "AU", where he has the red robe and the extra scars, I imagine he would have gotten it through killing Isobel.

I think as a changeling she probably has the ability to just... Transform her hair however she likes at will, right? And based on her attitude plus some lines we get from Sceleritas about her own former-butler, it sounds like she would be really opposed to being serviced in that way, to me at least.

I see her as pretty aggressively independent with the way she operates, which is another factor that sets her apart from DU drow, who really enjoyed lording over the other Bhaalists and making an errand boy out of Sceleritas, to the point where he practically depended on their help to function.

Neither! I wasn't willing to let anyone take either of my eyes in my first playthrough, LOL.

I have since always given the Volo eye to SOMEONE, usually Gale, but I don't consider that canonical. I don't think anyone was desperate enough to let mister frumpy-hat over there ice-pick their eyes out.

He did do them himself. It was a profoundly stupid display he got caught up in because of Gortash. Also, de-handment is kind of a theme in his life, at least inside his head.

I have a comic about it planned for the future ;)

What do you mean, that's canonical to the game and everything! He loves the cuck chair!

He is an angsty 29-year old in denial. Your interpretation is still perfectly accurate.

Hates the guy. Hates when Shadowheart Astarion people joke about him being the Drizzt of his generation. Hates the guy like literally any countercultural weirdo hates Taylor Swift or the Weeknd. If he saw him at the line in the grocery store DU drow would find a way to roll his eyes loudly just so he could notice being an asshole.

Stay tuned, I'm cooking 🧑‍🍳

If you're asking about game strats, badly, LOL. Pretty sure I died twice to her in my first run and it was a rough way of being thrown into "serious" DnD combat.

With the exception of a couple of encounters that just so happened to turn out SURPRISINGLY cinematic, I'm just realizing that I actually don't think too often about how most of the fights went in real-time! I imagine Autie Ethel's in particular wasn't one that DU drow went into of his own accord, probably rather at a companion's insistence. That's as deep as I've thought about that personally.

Now... Back to game strats. I personally try to get a surprise round on her however I can by sneaking and shooting an arrow or AOE in her general location, since she always stands on roughly the same spot while invisible. I have my companions spread about the arena so we can take her clones down as fast as possible, and as soon as I identify who the real Ethel is I just have the strongest martial characters wail on her until she begs to be let go. Hers is one of the few fights that is actually pretty dang easy at this point for me - and I SUCK at this game.

That would certainly take a while! But, Bhaalist DU drow does kind of have an end goal, actually.

That might also turn into a comic eventually, but it would a rough one.

He pretty swiftly disposed of her, DU drow doesn't like being talked down to, which Minthara very promptly does. Him (and I, by extension) had very limited exposure to her and she was just kind of a speck of dust in his story in particular. Though I have since grown to adore her character in my proceeding runs where I do recruit her!

I guess if he got an invitation and it wasn't particularly painful to arrive at the venue, sure! He would specially love to take Astarion to Gale's wedding ceremony and purposely upstage him at every at every opportunity, LOL.

Yes. He got pretty freaky with the pain-priest. This is gonna sound like a lie but I made him get naked for it without even knowing there was a buff to be gained (I didn't get it, unfortunately, I don't remember whether I failed a check or if I had camp clothes toggled on, so it didn't count as being truly nude). I wasn't taking the game very seriously and just doing dumb roleplay things to see what would happen, LOL.

And I consider that canonical. I think DU drow saw the opportunity to show off his physique And had a strange inkling that this was a practice he was... Somehow familiar with.

Imagine my joy when Astarion and Shadowheart start having a back-and-forth about my absurd display. That's when i knew those were my people, to be honest.

[gb-patch]

Hi! I saw your ask about skin tones and honestly, that is very much a barebones excuse to not include skintones in your game. You act as though adding skintones to a sprite would be a complete hand-drawn new asset when it would quite literally be filling in a pre drawn base for both Opal and the mc. Not only that but you potentially have thousands of mc outfits you promised for specific tier havers on the kickstarter. And then for 250,000 dollars, you're telling me we'll get more colors but not even 2 or 4 skintones when there are games with Less funding who have more skintones? Especially considering OL:B&A had the exact same amount of skintones and I could count all the afro centric hairstyles in that game on my two hands. I rather have more skintones than just pale, peach, olive, tan, brown and dark brown (most of which screams a 2000s foundation line of tones) than have more hair or clothing colors. I'm sorry, I love your games, I really do but that's an extremely lazy and abhorrent response from you and I am extremely disappointed.

"Hi. I just saw the post about you not adding in more skintones. I really hope this doesn't come across as rude or demanding but I find your reasoning for not being able to add them...lackluster at best. With all due respect, you set this goal for 250k, over three times the original goal you set for the kickstarter, the idea that somehow you can promise an additional set of darker colours for the clothes, accesories hair and eyes alongside the additional MC pieces people are going to request but not an additional skintone because of Opal seems a little ridiculous. I'm not an experienced artist but I do know how art files tend to work and I imagine adding additional colours to Opal's base design wouldn't be an extreme undertaking. In fact, by contrast, the work to add more colours to the clothes and hairs seems much more labourous considering the amount of them and the fact that some of the clothes have subcolours.

Again, I do hope I don't come accross as rude but I just feel like this announcement was highly dissapointing, especially considering the fact that the additional colours are currently the biggest goal for the kickstarter at the moment" There were two replies, so I put them together. I hope that's alright.

I understand. It would be bad and make no sense if that didn’t happen. I can say that this has nothing to do with funding. I'm not gonna attach more skin tones to a stretch goal, that’s not fair. It’ll be done whenever it can be regardless of what happens with the Kickstarter.

The other colors for hair and such is something I confirmed can be done by our programmer ahead of time using a color picker system in coding.

The situation as it stands today for Opal is that I personally don't have the skills to recolor her myself, the artist we have is in a situation where it would be unkind to increase how much work they have to do (it'd be easier if even less work could be on them), and while another artist could be hired- that hasn't happened at this point. So, saying it "could happen but maybe not" is cautious development process. It’s how it went with both the Cove Patreon Bonus Moments, where I pretended for months that it may or may not happen while working on it behind the scenes because I wasn’t sure how long I’d need to finish it and was worried it could be delayed for long stretches of time.

Being realistic, it is virtually a 100% certainly that before the game comes out, the skin tones will be expanded. There is no good reason why it wouldn’t. I was waiting until things got to a better point in production before coming out to officially say that it’s happening.

And I could’ve said it’s extremely likely but we’re not able to do it quite yet and avoided making anyone feel hurt. I wish my way of handling it hadn’t made the people who believed in our games sad. The reason why I didn’t is that I just can’t help but be averse to making promises I can’t do/the team can’t do and so have to rely on something else working out at some point in the future, even if it is entirely likely that it will.

That’s because I know that these things will make a lot of people happy. I want the excitement and any praise that might come to not happen until the goal has been achieved or is on the way to being achieved for sure. To a degree it’s helpful for players to have confidence in what the company is promoting, but it’s mainly to help with my own habit of catastrophizing. I tend to believe bad things could happen and I’ll let people down even when it’s so unlikely it’s not worth considering. I consider it anyway. And so, you get this kind of long-term hedging before the feature people hoped for suddenly appears. Even now my compulsion is to add a caveat that “there’s still a chance something (I don’t even know what) could happen and it won’t be added so don’t thank me yet” despite me already coming out with the truth that there’s every intention to have it added. I’m sorry to have disappointed you and made you feel disregarded by doing this. Hopefully when the skin options are expanded people will be able to enjoy the game a lot more than how it is with the current demo. And thanks for taking the time to let me know what you thought rather than giving up on the project entirely.

[pakhnokh]

I was unable to comment on your posts on patreon, but saw your question in the reading commentary:

Ok so which one is it!? I feel confused because I know ExR makes the difference between Gui and Mo. I went to the official 7seas translation and in both cases they write "demonic"! (Vol.4 Page 83) which is unbelievable cause Wei Wuxian would never say that his path is the Mo Dao. I really wonder what the original text says.

I'd like to explain this! I think this is a translation inconsistency. In the original CN, Gui is a subset of Mo. Everyone including WWX refers only to Mo Dao in terms of the cultivation path. It's the Dark Path in contrast to the mainstream, "righteous" Bright Path.

There's four types of evil beings in MDZS:

妖 yao: made from living non-human beings. The living Goddess Statue, Tortoise Xuanwu, both count in this category

魔 mo: made from living humans (living puppets). There aren't any examples I can think of in MDZS (Song Lan wasn't puppeted until after he's dead, right?) but, this is the word most commonly translated as "demon".

鬼 gui: made from dead humans. This is the classic WWX stuff like Wen corpse army etc. Translated as "ghost" usually

怪 guai: made from dead non-humans. I also don't think there's any examples in MDZS.

But importantly, WWX listed all these in Cloud Recesses under the same cultivation path, 魔道 Mo Dao. All are subcategories of Mo Dao. So he is indeed cultivating Mo Dao knowingly. It's up to interpretation, but personally I think that makes his moral character very interesting OvO

Ok thank you so much! With your permission I'll give an introduction to those who don't know what this is all about.

I'm reading Mo Dao Zu Shi again and making a commentary on my Patreon page. (It is public by the way, so everybody can see it)

The quoted part in this ask refers to my question regarding the things Wei Wuxian says to Lan Wangji when the latter visits him on Burial Mounds and they part:

A moment later, Wei WuXian spoke up, “Lan Zhan, you asked me if I intended on staying like this from now on. To be honest, I’d like to ask something as well. What can I do apart from this?”

He continued, “Give up the demonic path? Then what about the people on this mountain?

“Give them up? I won’t be able to do it. I believe that if you were I, you wouldn’t be able to do it either.”

He continued, “Nobody can give me a nice, broad road to walk on. A road where I could protect those I want to protect without having to cultivate the ghostly path.”

(This is ExR translation version. The official 7seas uses "demonic" in both cases. Reading the ExR translation, the difference between demonic and ghostly path has been made by the translators in other parts of the text. For example, Wei Wuxuan saying that he never practiced the demonic path, or Lan Wangji telling Wei Wuxian that the ghostly path harms body and soul etc. So I was confused - why would Wei Wuxian himself call the methods he used as demonic? I was sure that this is a fault in the translation or maybe me not understanding something in Chinese culture)

So back to the things you wrote, fist of all thank you so much for finding the time to answer me! I really wonder why you couldn't comment on Patreon itself? Public posts are available to comments both for paid and free members.

Now, if I understand correctly what you say, "Mo Dao" is a large umbrella term containing all types of "dark" cultivation that are not the "righteous" canon cultivation method practiced by all sects? Meaning that both what Wei Wuxian does (Gui Dao) and what Xue Yang did (Mo Dao) can be considered "Mo Dao"?

Then, in this case, how does using this term works for Wei Wuxian's benefit if he wants to stress out that he uses the ghost path and not the demon path (meaning that he specifically uses dead corpses and not living humans?) isn't it also justifies the false rumors spread about him as being the "mo dao zu shi?" I remember reading in other explanations that the whole thing of him being called this way was the misunderstanding and the spread of false info about what Wei Wuxian actually practiced.

So now I'm even more confused hahahaha if you have a further explanation I'd be so grateful!! <33

I'd really just prefer if all the translation left the terms in pinyin. (yao, mo, gui and guai) so that this confusion wouldn't exist :(

Btw, I think that what Xue Yang did to the townspeople in Yi City was considered mo dao, right? He sprinkled the corpse poisoning powder on them making them into living corpses for Xiao Xingchen to kill.

"guai: made from dead non-humans. I also don't think there's any examples in MDZS." - does it only include animals and plants, or objects as well? Does what Wei Wuxian did to the paper puppets in Yi City count in this category?

[cjkie22]

A non-exhaustive list of why you should listen to hit dirtbag boyband Bears in Trees:

their music is really amazing. you'll love it.

especially if your Spotify wrapped was on the pov: indie side of things

and even if it wasn't.

songs for every emotion

absolutely beautiful lyrics

sometimes these lyrics make sense. sometimes they don't. that's part of the fun.

songs about platonic love !!!!!

songs for the queers! the aros! the aces! the enbies! the trans community!

my dad likes them. doesn't sound like a lot, but it's an achievement.

(more underneath the break)

iain (bass/vox/lyrics) has "ginger" tattooed on the back of their head. if that isn't iconic I don't know what is.

on the note of iain, they were the first person i was aware of that used they as a pronoun, and that changed my life

they have a discord server! it's a really lovely community. i am not biased in the slightest. (discord.gg/sandbox) (https://discord.com/invite/thesandbox) (i will personally send you an invite i don't actually know what the link is)

they should DEFINITELY be on the heartstopper soundtrack

if I'm remembering correctly in the tiktok where they said they should be on the heartstopper soundtrack, they also said 3 out of 4 of them were in some way queer. seems like a good thing to me.

they opened for you me at six earlier this year. it was my first time seeing them live. and WOW.

I met some of my best friends through this band. I'm not joking; big shout out to the mojo dojo castle house, I'll never forget that weekend.

they're hilarious on the internet

you might cry at several of their songs for a million different reasons

BearBerry records

they have a tumblr blog @/bearsintreesofficial (iirc). I'm not gonna tag them but

BiT gigs are a safe space. I may have almost fainted at my last one (new cross inn, August 2023) but I've never met so many kind strangers and genuinely lovely people

merch is super comfy and really cute.

it gives stardew valley and animal crossing (trust me I'm right)

after the new cross gig (sweatiest gig in the world), despite surely being exhausted, callum (uke/keys/vox) took my bereal and i got my mini lesbian flag signed by them all

I turned out not to be a lesbian, which possibly makes it funnier, but the flag is stuck on my wall still

cryptids would LOVE their band

dash.

there's also a community minecraft server for discord members

BiT postcards !!!!

gosh and the bit stickers

they covered stick season on an Instagram live

they also do the funniest twitch streams

iain and the mountain

the raccoon email address

george (drums/production) is elite. the drum fills in doing this again? iconic. also has a specific really cool shirt I want to steal

wedding. dress. tiktok.

callum doesn't wear shoes on stage. apparently this was common knowledge but it sure surprised me at new cross.

the austrian soft drinks advert

iain make up looks

callum plays the flute. I want to say classically trained flautist but i may be wrong.

none of them have EVER bribed any members of law enforcement

their songs are very tattooable

talking of tattoos, nick (lyrics/guitar/saw him play the uke on stage once) has L + R tattooed on his forearms (iirc). absolute genius and I am stealing it when I get more of my patchwork sleeve done

iain releases solo music to under the name pet yeti. it's ethereal. callum also plays flute on one of them.

trumpet joe

the four of them never look like they are dressed for the same event

someone once edited the bears in trees wiki page to say that Ryan Ross was in their band

silly geese

that time we got singing? poetry? performance art? of THAT harry potter fanfiction

according to tiktok, iain and nick once had to sneak into their own show because they were underage

nurby

I have a video in the depths of my camera roll of them covering Mama by My Chemical Romance on a twitch stream

sonick

all of them give me gender envy at different times

their newest single (bart's bike) features banjo

patreon content

yelling it gets better with a room full of people was a healing experience.

tilly

modern baseball and fall out boy adjacent in my brain

if you like bears in trees you're automatically hot and really cool

they did a song with noahfinnce and its really super good

callum also featured on a myriad song which is also really super good

bit songs feel like coming home. they feel like hot chocolate and a blanket on a cold night. they feel like a warm hug. they feel like surviving and falling in love with life again and overcoming the worst things. they feel like victory, because you didn't think you'd make it to adulthood. but I'm 20 now. and I'm still here. I've almost graduated uni. and that's what bears in trees feels like.

all of their songs!!!! amazing!!!!

please feel free to add to this list. I'm taking suggestions.

[thevanillerose]

GLASS | YANDERE!UNKNOWN (SAERAN CHOI) x READER | MYSTIC MESSENGER

~ WRITING COMMISSIONS ~ ~ PATREON ~ ~ KO-FI ~

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own anything except my own writing. All properties belong to their respective creators.

CONTENT WARNING: Yandere, Unhealthy Relationships

Fragility.

It was a word that summed you up perfectly. From your plush pink lips, petite as they were, right down to your pale and bare toes framed against the fluffy cream carpet beneath you.

Typically this would have been a miserable sight, but because it was you he was observing, it simply looked perfect.

“Go on in then...”

His cold tone whispered through your ear, your wobbling legs seeming to have a mind of their own as they obeyed and stepped inside. In place of softness you now found something hard and cold. The surface beneath you had changed, from fine carpet to polished glass.

It surrounded you now, faintly reflecting your own frightened visage back at you, proving so clearly that you didn't want this, but had no choice.

To refuse to appease him would only lead to the others getting hurt. You didn't want that.

“Don't look so worried, [Y/N]...”

Saeran waited for you to turn around in your fancy prison, leaning casually against the edge of the entrance as he watched you. “...I made it nice for you, didn't I?”

True. A small sofa that converted into a bed. Plush pillows in Molang and Totoro designs. Even a mini fridge for whenever you got hungry or thirsty, and fairy lights that hung and glimmered from corner to corner. This glass case he wanted to trap you in was far from ugly, or uncomfortable. But to be sealed away in the centre of his bedroom, treated like some limited edition doll...how could you feel even remotely optimistic about this?

“Didn't I?”

But again...this was an unfortunate necessity. His threats weren't light. There was a strong possibility he would try to hurt those you cared about...even his own family. All because he insisted on one simple thing.

She's MINE.

So here you were.

A pair of pale and slender arms wrapped around your middle, Saeran's firm chest pressing to your back and lips meeting the shell of your ear. His voice spoke ominously into it:

“Are you ignoring me, [Y/N]?”

You gulped, snapping free from your daze immediately and shaking your head. “N-no sir--”

He only squeezed your harder, chuckling darkly.

“...'Sir'...” he hummed, allowing his nose to brush against your neck as he shifted his head further into the crook of it, “...You don't need to call me 'sir'. Just call me 'Saeran', alright? Or if you like, you can call me 'Ray'.”

You didn't care.

“Either way, I want you to feel relaxed.”

You didn't know how you could, especially when he stepped in there with you and closed the door. A matching glass lock fit into place and he slid the key back around his neck, shimmering with hints of blue. His ice-like eyes were just the same, cruelly observing you as you slipped free from his hold and backed away a few steps.

It was sickening. To see so clearly the world around you, but know you couldn't step into it.

“This is all you'll know now...” he came stepping closer, the solution to your entrapment dangling so temptingly before his burgundy tank top, his slender hands drawing themselves across the clear walls as he walked. Eventually he reached you, and one of those hands came up to cup your cheek, thumb running almost tentatively across your skin.

“I'm the only person you'll see, because I'm the only person you need. You shouldn't be a part of their pathetic world when you can be with me instead.” he purred out lowly, leaning closer and closer until you were pinned against the far wall of the container. “That's what they call true love, isn't it?”

Like hell.

This wasn't love. It was a filthy obsession, one he saw fit to revel in. He had to be mad. Only someone who was genuinely twisted would be capable of doing something like this.

He tugged you down by the collar he'd placed upon your neck and had you thrust down upon the sofa beneath him. His well-built form soon clambered over you and made sure you were completely caged between his arms and legs. All you could see was his slightly shadowed face. Pink and white hair. Mint eyes...

“I've done all this because I love you, [Y/N]. Because I need you somewhere safe, somewhere I can keep an eye on you at all times...”

Saeran was speaking so softly it almost seemed alien.

“If I didn't do this, who's to say what would happen?”

You knew how he could really be.

“So...just relax...okay?”

His lips met your neck, and then your own. His mouth captured yours, hands coming to run down your sides, knowing you weren't going anywhere anyway. That fact alone left you with no choice but to let him kiss you, as much as you wanted to resist.

You felt so pathetic though. It was enough to make you well up, feeling his tongue invading every corner of you, his eyes shut with a rush of ecstasy that you weren't privy to. How could you enjoy any of this when it was under duress? You had only stopped struggling so much because you were afraid.

But you still cared about them. All of them. You were certain they cared about you too, and were probably fighting for you somehow, somewhere, right now.

So why weren't you fighting for yourself?

Saeran moaned, and something about the sound of his pleasure ticked you off, enough so that your teeth came clamping down on his tongue at the best opportunity. He winced wildly and stiffened when it happened, pale eyes flashing open and zeroing in on your now defiant expression. His filled with fury, and he ripped back just to clutch his maw, feeling the raw blood oozing out and dripping from the corner.

“...You...BITCH!”

The shift was immediate. 'Ray' ceased to be, and some new kind of monster took his place. Two hands shot down and seized your neck, squeezing and crushing without any hesitations. Immediately you started wheezing and squirming, cheeks going red and eyes fluttering as he choked you.

“S—Sae---!!”

He didn't care. He was the one who didn't care this time around, he only wanted to repay you for your resistance in some way he saw fit.

Really though, he had no intentions of killing you. When you blacked out he pulled back, stopping himself from going any further. All his efforts couldn't go to waste, not now.

In time you'd come around...

“...Sorry. You gave me no choice, [Y/N]...”

His lips met your forehead this time, as he lay down carefully beside you, holding and caressing you closely.

You were fragile. He didn't want to break you.

In time...

…

“...?”

Confused. Bewildered. Lost.

Just a sample of the words that could have described you in that moment you awoke beside him.

Saeran was still sleeping. Dozing away, almost looking too innocent in that moment. But you knew better.

Oh you did.

And that key was too tempting.

Was it a risk? Of course it was, a mighty risk indeed. But the alternative was to sit pretty and live out the rest of your days like this, and just the thought was enough to sicken you. Even if you were scared, even if your fingers trembled ceaselessly and your heartbeat hurt, you still reached up to take it anyway.

You could feel his breathing pulsing through your hands as they cautiously lifted the chain from around his neck. Some of his soft pallid hair brushed against your skin while you removed the pendant, and for a brief moment you happened to touch his cheek with your knuckle. This made you tense like a rock of course, but he seemed asleep still.

Good...then I have a chance.

For now you had the key, clutched in one slightly sweating palm. Getting away from him was a whole other matter, but you took it step by step so you weren't rash. Easing yourself down, you passed by his chest and heard the beat this time, steady and relaxed. He only shifted slightly as you softly wriggled free, which boded well. Eventually you made it, and like a bullet you were up on your feet, while still being careful to pad along with little sound.

The door was right there. You hurried to it on your tiptoes and fumbled with the key. If you dropped it would it smash? Could you even break these walls by using something? No...he'd have thought of that, all of it. Everything here was so calculated and perfectly set up, he must have.

Far simpler to just be careful and unlock it. Such a basic motion, just insert and turn.

Yet you were shaking, and you clumsily ended up doing just what you feared. The key slipped between your fingers suddenly and clattered on the glass below.

This mistake didn't destroy the key.

But it did destroy your hope.

If you had only been one second faster, you might have made it. Sadly that wasn't the case. Sadly, Saeran's fingers curled through the back of your collar and hauled you back so fast and harsh that you choked. Sadly, he had enough strength on his side to send your already weakened body careening across the floor.

You were in an even worse situation than before.

“While I was sleeping, hm? Smart...”

Dazed and pained, you lay there on your side after skidding to a halt, watching with half-hooded eyes as his tan boots trod towards you. Soon enough his hand was in your hair and pulling you back up by it, his switched self not caring how much you were suffering.

You met the cool glass again as he slammed you up to it, his own body meeting your front and keeping you crushed. Still his nails were digging into your scalp, his other hand cupping your jawline and tilting your head up.

Mint eyes met you. Some humanity still lingered, but he was furious nonetheless. At times like this you didn't know what he'd do, and it was this side of him that truly made you fear for all the others. What if it came to the point where he couldn't hold himself back? Where it didn't matter what you did to please him?

“...After all I've done to try and keep you safe, try and keep you untarnished, you throw it back in my face by trying to leave me...”

His brow collapsed into sorrow, and a pang of regret hit you again.

“How could you do this to me...?”

How could someone so deranged speak in such a tragic tone? How could he look so disheartened when this was all his own making? How could he expect you to feel sorry for him?

Saeran let his head thump beside yours, his heavy breathing steaming up the glass. His chest almost seemed to heave a little while he leaned against you, as if he were barely holding back a sob.

As if this had truly hurt him.

It dawned upon you then.

More than the key. More than this cage. More than you yourself.

He was the most fragile of all.

Like my writing? I can write for you! Check out my WRITING COMMISSIONS!

[hannieehaee]

LOST IN STEREO - teaser

18+ / mdi

summary: after kicking you out of your own band to seek success with the band on his own, vernon finds his plans falling through, all the while you'd reached success on your own. now leading your own label, vernon finds himself having to earn your forgiveness, not realizing how badly he'd hurt you years back.

content: friends2enemies2lovers!vernon, band!au, drummer!vernon, guitarist!reader, unrequited crush (kinda), pining, vernon kicks you out of your band bc ur a girl (asshole, ik), really incorrect music industry terminology (i know nothing about music oops), afab reader, reader becomes a producer after being kicked from vernon's band, seokmin, chan, hannie and kwannie are in the band, smut, penetrative sex, dry humping, fingering, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 433 (teaser); 8.8k (full fic)

release date: june 3rd

or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!

a/n: i know the summary and content are all over the place, but i promise the story in itself is coherent</3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

"Fuck! Jesus Christ, what are you doing here?"

He winced at the sudden sight of you upon turning a corner in the huge building he was currently exploring, never having expected to bump into you there.

"I work here, Vernon. I would've expected you to do some research on the labels you're auditioning for."

"W-wait. What do you mean you work here?"

"I'm a producer here. What? Surprised?"

"N-no!" he spluttered.

Fuck, you looked good. No, scratch that. You looked beautiful beyond belief.

How long had it been? Three? Four years?

He still felt horribly about it. You know, that whole situation in which he threw you under the bus for his own benefit; only for everything to come crashing down on him immediately after. Not only did he feel like an asshole, but also like a huge idiot. Letting go of a friendship just for a failed attempt at success would go down as the dumbest thing Vernon ever engaged in.

In his defense, he was a teenager at the time. Okay, maybe he was freshly 19, but it felt like the same thing back then. He had been an idiot who dumped his best friend and crush just for a chance in the music industry. What he had thought that to be the smartest move to make for the future of your shared band, ended up becoming his greatest mistake. To this day, he still thought back on it with shame.

What sucked the most was how talented he knew you were. That, and the knowledge that he bad been the sole person to blame for taking this opportunity away from you – from taking your own band away from you.

He quickly came to realize that it had been a horrible mistake, but it was too late by then. Contractually speaking, you had never really existed within the group. Your friendship had also crumbled soon after, despite your reassurance that all you wanted was the best for the band, even if that meant they'd continue on without you.

At the time, you had been the band's sole music producer, and song writer, and engineer, and you were the one who had a macbook with garage band on it, and–

"Vernon!"

Fuck. Had he been in his head this whole time?

You looked annoyed. Also way more grown and mature than when he last saw you at 19 years old. Fuck, did he mention you looked insanely hot?

"Sorry, I, uh, as I was saying," he cleared his throat, "Of course I'm not surprised. You're the most talented person I've ever known."

...

a/n: lol sorry for how abrupt the teaser is, i wasn't sure how to cut it</3

you can check it out today on my ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one!

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

Hi! Can I request a Wesker from the H.C.F? She accidentally confesses to him that she has feelings for hers, but she also wanted him to know because Wesker didn't seem to notice and it hurt her a lot.

Sorry for my english

Hello, anon! No worries, I gotcha. This idea was really fun to write, and I hope you like it!

For early content, check my ko-fi or patreon (links in bio). Thank you! 💖

The virus not only changed Wesker's appearance but also his personality. The reader knew him long before the mansion incident, ever since he created STARS.

He wasn't very open about his feelings back then, nor did he make an effort to express them. Still, she could sense his presence in her life despite the lack of communication. He liked to show her that he cared in a subtle, non-verbal way. This way, it felt less like a commitment. Not that he fears serious relationships, but he doesn't want to develop deeper feelings as he will get distracted from his goals.

They never expressed their feelings for each other, even if they had. They just got used to each other over the years.

He prefers to show his affection by buying all sorts of shiny and trendy stuff, such as jewelry or clothes. Rarely, he'll cuddle with her and watch a movie, but when he does, he'll return affectionate gestures such as kisses, caresses, hugs, etc. All of these have to start with her; if not, they won't happen. He will return any of them.

Prior to the virus, he showed signs of caring for her. He wasn't that distant to not give a good morning call, to ask how she feels, or to ask about her day. When she is feeling low, he tries to lighten up the mood by being very affectionate, physically speaking.

After the virus, he changed completely. He became more distant and colder. The few gentle and affectionate gestures he used to make are nonexistent in your relationship. She kisses him, but he doesn't respond. He pushes her away when she tries to cuddle, and when she tries to talk about her day, he leaves the room with an apathetic "I'm busy now" response.

It seems like he doesn't have any feelings for her anymore, but that doesn't make any sense. If he doesn't like her anymore, why did he struggle so much to get her out of R.C.?

Before leaving for his next mission as a new employee of HFC, she grabbed his hand, making him face her. He looked down at her with the same heartless stare, one that he didn't have prior to the outbreak.

"What?" he asked in a bored tone. "Nothing. I just wanted to say good luck." she tried to say in a forcedly joyful tone. "Oh, thank you, dear," he said as he turned around to leave. While he was turning to face the door, she spoke again. "And I know it's not a good time, but I really wanted to talk with you about something."

Wesker's posture changed. He wasn't so stiff; his shoulders dropped as well as his head.

"About what?" he asked. "About your behavior lately." "Oh... You're right; it's not a good moment. Maybe when I come back." "I might not be here when you come back."

Wesker froze. The grip on her hand tightened a bit. The words were bold and powerful, but they had to be said, as she wanted to know if Wesker had any feelings for her. If he didn't, then she'd pack her stuff and leave before he returned, even if it hurt like hell.

"I-I don't understand..." "Let me enlighten you. Ever since that outbreak, you've been cold and distant, and you barely look at me when we're together. It feels like I'm a nuisance to you, like you don't want me near you. I don't know what's going on in your mind, and whenever I try to talk with you about it, you either shut me down or tell me to talk tomorrow. I don't think you ever saw me as more than a roommate, and I think it's time for us to go our separate ways." "I don't get it; we've been like this ever since I knew you, and you didn't have any problems until now." Wesker replied with a slight annoyance in his tone. "Because maybe now I realize I love you."

The words came out randomly. She expected Wesker to leave, but the reaction was different. Instead of getting distant, his expression softened, and then it happened—the first genuine smile he had ever had since the virus. His eyes also changed, as their color turned into a beautiful shade of amber, and his cold stare turned into a warmer, more passionate one. He lowered his face and pressed a long, gentle kiss on her lips.

"Let's talk more about this when I come back, please." he said after he pulled out.

"S-sure."

That was the first genuine and loving kiss they shared, probably in their entire relationship. Wesker then left on his mission, his smile never fading. She felt an explosion of emotions inside her, as if something had just reborn. Maybe it was the passion flame that was ignited once more. Was she relieved that she wouldn't have to leave him? Or was he toying with her? Until he returns, she'll have to wait for his return while holding on to an uncertain promise.

Taglist: @shadow-wolf510 @cassie-todd @ravenrune

[gurugirl]

i saw an ask from one of my fave harry writer if they would ever do a patreon and they said they would feel bad for taking money for their writing. it made me think about you. do you feel guilty or anything charging for your hobby? what made you feel you wanted to make a patreon? how does it make you feel bestie? i am a sub by the way. i love your patreon. not trying to sound mean i'm just curios!

Hi sweetie!! Thank you for the support on Patreon! I really appreciate it! And you don't sound mean! I totally understand the curiosity :)

I don't know why anyone would feel bad charging for their work (authors do it all the time) if they can produce enough content to sustain a patreon it would probably be worth it to anyone who signed up. Of course everyone feels differently about that sort of thing but it's a lot of work and so no, I don't feel bad/guilty. I give a lot of myself to everyone with my writing and I still give free content on Tumblr as well. And I started my patreon just to see what would happen. I had no mal intent at all. I'm not some greedy person. I actually feel like it's work (the good kind!) when I'm writing for y'all. I'm very content! And also I feel it's worth it because I work really hard to give the content I do.

I think most people who have a patreon would feel the same as me. I'm proud of my work and happy with it and hope everyone who subscribes feels the same way :)

Thank you hon!

xoxo

[neoncat666]

im having a normal one and thinking about the like 3 hours i talked with snail about Grizzly and how he plays Zephrael and like I'm being so serious when I say Zephrael is the best character I have seen Grizzly play. It's def due to being able to compare to his other characters and the fact that if we are to compare him to Arthur, he is leagues above I would say.

Theres been a fuck ton of improvement in terms of how grizz plays characters in jrwi and i was talking to snail about how despite zephrael being one of the most different characters he's played, rae feels the most like grizzly if that makes sense. he feels like an actual person rather than a character and feels so intergrated with the world that snail brought up that he feels like a character that couldve been an npc if he wasn't a player character. he feels like someone you would meet in this world and it would make sense. and god the fucking portrayal of rae makes me bonkers. his personality is so fun and odd and the way he acts is so facinating.

grizzly does so fucking good on making rae seem like an actual person you interact with and know about but still omits so much information. every character in the party is like that but with rae, we almost know so much about him yet nothing at all at the same time. i compared it to becoming friends with someone and knowing things about them just by hanging out when they suddenly tell you something huge about themselves that you never even knew about. its easy to infer from zephrael and i want to look deeper and see what he is telling from the way he acts. he's a smart guy, somewhat lost, but still wellspoken and i think about his speech often.

that goes with how grizzly acts as him which is genuinely my favourite. so many line deliveries, actions, and just like random exclaimations come off so natural and are fucking phenominal. ep 5 has become a favourite due to the dynamics we saw with the party (save me wall sunder rae trio) but i also cant stop thinking about how rae spoke a lot of the time. when he found out the smithy was on the second floor (which is still insane to me), wanting to not have to hide, and just ever interaction he had with the others or npcs. he is a very confident, almost egotistic guy but still flounders on some parts. i truly think that if he fell too far into one side he would not be as enjoyable. idk man i just think grizzly's roleplaying is fucking incredible in everything he does and it makes me excited for whats to come.

with Wonderlust coming out soonish and another patreon exclusive campaign on the horizon I truly do think Grizzly has almost set a new standard for his characters. Even if those characters only hit like 75% of how Zephrael is I do think they'll still be above a lot of hid other player characters.

[popculturebuffet]

Here Comes Garfield: Here Comes Garfield Review: Together Again (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello all you cool cats and nobody's fool cats and welcome back to here comes garfield, a look at garfield's fine history of specials.

Last time I took a look at his first apperance with the hourlong special the fantastic funnies which had Garfield's First animated apperance, some interviews with various comic strip creators.. and nothing else of value. Except maybe a possible doonesbury spinoff where micheal doonsebury and broom hilda become wacky roomates.

The Garfield Short itself however was fantastic, adapting a few great strips with Scott Beach doing a decent job in the roll and Thom Huge's first roll as john showoing what a naturual he was. The shorts were impressive enough that CBS ordered a full special.

So thus here came here comes Garfield. Both John and Garfield were recast from the fantastic funnies short: For Garfield they clearly had wide auditions.. but Lorenzo Music easily won after his first. Licking himself probably helped. Music was best known as the voice only character "Carlton, the Doorman" on Rhoda, and while he did some voice work here and there, Garfield was easily his biggest roll, with the second being Peter Venkman on the real ghostbusters, being just as good at the roll as Bill Murray and yes i'll stake my claim on that. He was also replaced by David Collier of Full House Infamy. I'm cursed with this knowledge and now so are you. And yes it was a massive downgrade.

For John they wanted an LA actor, so frequent guest actor Sandy Kenyon replaced Thom Huge. Thankfully Huge would be given the part back after auditoning for the next special when Kenyon wasn't avaliable and despite never leaving indiana, he was just THAT good. We also finally got a cast for Odie with Gregg Berger, who got cast because

I scraped the background info i got for this from wherever I could. Still Berger went on to be a longtime voice actor, being the only one of the big three's va's to still be at it. My faviorite roll of his is he, grimlock but berger has a staggering career I wasn't aware of.

The rest of our cast are: second fred flintstone Henry Collis as grouchy neighbor Huebert, Owl from Winnie the Pooh and frequent scooby doo guest voice actor hank garret as Huebert's wife Reba and pro wrestling hall of famer and sitcom starr, both entirely true I looked it up, Hank Garrett as vet inmates Fast Eddy and Fluffy.

Our final bit of casting wasn't for voice acting but for the Special's soundtrack, a person so integral to these specials I can't imagine them without him: Ladies, Gentlemen and that beautiful rainbow inbetween and outside, please welcome mr lou rawls!

Rawls is a legendary R and B artist, with "you'll never find" being his signature. He's been on the Muppet Show, the Proud Family, Sesame Street, and more. He was a legend and i'm very sad he's gone.

It's these specials that introduced me to rawls, though it took the muppet show to get me to look at more of his songs and he brought his a game. The reason? He saw the residuals sexual predator Bill Cosby was getting from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids and had one thought when asked to do Garfield

Jim Davis would be proud.. because he was also in it for the money. And like the earlier years of Garfield, Lou Rawls didn't half ass it: the songs he performed for this special and later ones were truly fantastic and he always had a banger ready to open the special. I'm still baffled they were never put on a cd, with the only album relases being for here comes garfield and a mixtape from various r and b artists that includes shake a paw from Garfield Gets a Life. The specials would not be the same without Lou in them, and i'm happy he kept taking that check as he made them better each time he provided a silky opening song to kick off the hyjinks.

So with a bunch of vetran sitcom actors, the voice of an angel and a ton of strips, how was Here Comes Garfield? join me under the cut to find out.

We open the special with Garfield throwing his alarm clock through a window after rudely waking him up. A perfect intro: shows off he's cranky, sleepy and takes no shit.

We then follow it up with an elaborate dance number from Garfield, as he's known for, set to our title theme tune, here comes garfield. It's Rawls first crack at the character.. and it's a gorgeous, catchy song that sums up everything from Garfield's love of lasanga to his laziness. Is it weird to juxtopose that with an elaborate rotoscoped dance? yes yes it is. Is the animation and song so smooth it dosen't matter? Yup.

The dancing was modeled after Desirée Goyette, who also wrote the songs and sung the final one with Rawls, and also presented an issue as it didn't look quite right at first as Garfield to this point mostly stood like a blob. Since it was done at the Mendelsons where Peanuts was done, Sparky Schultz ended up providing the answer: the feet were too small and it's where Garfield got his big feet and smaller legs. They weren't to the degree they'd grow later, for better and for worse, but it's neat to know this evolution in garfield's appearance came from Sparky.

After this Garfield does some of his usual stuff: He threatens Odie, in his first animated appearance, wants a big breakfast then gets pissy when John won't give him the big breakfast and reacts entirely normally.

Several of the bits from this special were taken directly from the strip. Sadly unlike with the Fantastic Funnies, most aren't bookmarked, but thanks to google I was able to find a few i'll highlight. If I missed one or two, feel free to point them out, as there's a lot. Like the peanuts specials these earlier garfield ones tend to adapt a few one off bits for scenes and weave them into the plot.

Mid Breakfast, cat food as John hasn't yet had his spirit entirley broken, Odie startles Garrfield, a fight insues, and Jon throws his pets outside. Before we join them i'd like to talk about Sandy Kenyon's john.. and how he really dosen't work in the roll. What Huge got and what Wally Wingert and, at least judging from trailers, Nicholas Hoult get as John is that ballance: of put upon weary looser and optimstic dork. The latter part wasn't as prominent yet, but Huge would slide into it effortlessly.

Kenyon's John feels more like we're in a cat themed version of the stepfather and at any moment he's going to kill both pets, change his name and be on to another town. He feels like he's going to put down some plastic sheeting, throw on some huey lewis and get the axe out. He feels like he's one setback away from putting on a mask and going after some teenage cats. John is just too course here, too angry. Kenyon's trying to be deadpan but unlike other Jons, it comes off more threatening. And John CAN be threatning to his cat when he wants to be, but it comes off more like an angry dad, which is what he is, instead of an angry serial killer dad.

So our heroes go out and frolic in the flowers before a dog bites Garfield

And then another dog bites garfiled, Fluffy, the weird looking dog owned by Garfield's next door neighbor Huebert.

I'm so happy to get to talk about Huebert. As you may know, Garfield.. dosen't have the biggest bench of side characters in the strip itself. garfield and friends added a few paticuarlly binky (who went from a one off character in the strip and specials to one of the series best character) and the garfield show did the same, but in the strip it's kept to, outside our three person main cast, Liz, Nermal, Arlene, John's Parents, Doc Boy, Irma, Lyman early on and in more recent decades, the Big Vicious Dog. It's not a bad bench to pull from and some can go out of focus for a while if Jim Davis and his merry band of ghost writers runs out of ideas, but it works. Some strips have massive spraling casts like breaking cat news, some just need a few main characters and a few side cast to function. It didn't mean there were NO other characters or no guest characters, the 80's in paticular has some bangers and two of them even show up in this special, but in terms of recurring cast Jim Davis and Co kept it light.

Huebert and Reba are part of that cast and while not used these days, still made an impression when they were around. They were one note mostly being there to either gape in horror at John and Garfield's nonsense or be a victim of it. It did work though. They mostly stuck to sundays as it gave the gags enough room to work them in.

Huebert here assumes Garfield attacked Muffin unprovoked.. which isn't that unfair if you've known garfield formore than a single minute. Garfield and Odie don't help matters by trolling the guy. Hueburt dosen't help matters by trying to whollop them with his stick.

When that fails, he decides to call animal control. And in the garfield unvierse the city pound is apparnetly fucking psychotic as they not only just. manifest instantly, but don't ask any followup questions such as "are these somebody's pets", "Why do you want these animals removed" and "Whats your offer." They jsut show up to swoop our guys up.

Garfield hides but Odie, befitting his nature, is too stupid to and gets nabbed. Garfield seems genuinely sorry about it.. before griping, reminding us he's nature's perfect asshole. he does try to tell john about it with some fun patnomime.. but all john gets is Garfield might have fleas, a bit I really like.

Garfield gives up to watch some tv, then sleeps, thinking back to him and Odie as puppies.. before seeing the net come in and tkae the boy. And honestly this setup, Garfield feeling guilt one of his only friend sin the world is absent but taking his sweet time to do anything because he's that stubborn and selfish that he can't ADMIT it, works really well.

Eventually Garfield wakes up and needs to feed lest his hunger consume him then us all. So we get our second song, Long About Midnight, a fun jazz number from Rawls about Garfield's appitite. I also say Rawl's r and b style REALLY fits garfield well Rawls music tends to be laid back and jovial, talking about romancin and relaxin, and that fits garfield just fine. He can get it and he's ntohing but relaxed.

We get some food shenanigans during it recycled from a sunday, minus john for plot purposes

Thanks to Alyssabeth on Goodreads for putting this tsrip in her review, I wouldn't of remembered this refrence without it. Though I will say the gags are made better thans to Music's delivery. He just.. fits garfield so perfectly, having that nice combination of sardonic and laid back. There's a reason voices after him.. just haven't quite felt right. Bill Murray did a great job despite terrible material, and Frank Welker is decent, but Music just set an impossibly high bar that's yet to be cleared. He was garfield and elevated the character from great to god tier.

It's telling that for once food can't fill the void inside: Garfield misses his dog/punching bag/brother and decides to go free him. he NEARLY does.. only for the creepy watch men to catch him.

It's in Stir garfield meets two of his cell mates: Fast Eddie and Fluffy. Fast Eddie and Fluffy are actuallyt aken from a January 1981 arc I remember vividly as I had the book it was in as a kid.

The special changed the two slightly changing Eddie's name, Fluffy into a dog, and making both more realistically colored, though the latter's a bit more understandable on Fast Eddie/Guido, as we didn't have a color fo rhim. Fluffy on the other hand was on the back of the book he was in, so I don't know what the excuse there was.

I also admit I prefer Fluffy's original design, the big blue dopey look versus a more generic dog in the special.

The arc they were in was fairly short, with almost none of it really adapted for the special, just taking the characters and the situation of garfield in the pound, but they were still a great take. I may not like the change in fluffy but the two are a lot of fun and help speed along expositoin.

Eddie sticks up for Odie when Garfield gripes at him for getting him thrown in jail, only for Eddie to reveal that Odie is to be PUT DOWN TOMMOROW.

Yes. I wasn't kidding about how.. weirdly sadistic the pound is in this universe. Granted it COULD'VE been this weirdly sadistic in the 80's too but yes, despite having been here for less than a day they already plan to MURDER ODIE to make room. Whose running this pound?

Yeah that tracks. So Garfield tries to figure out a way to savd Odie from death and comforts his best friend on his last night. It's a genuinely heartbreaking scene, not helped by our third song "So Long Old Friend" If you can listen to this song without tearing up, you have no soul and i'm pretty sure even that's sketchy as vampires would cry tears of blood over this.

Garfield vows to save odie but Eddie holds Garfield back as they'll "take you too"

Thankfully Garfield gets an out: a little girl comes by to adopt a pet and all the cats and dogs line up. I also like all the various cats and dogs here, who Eddie outlined earlier my faviorites being Rocky, a nermal sized cat who beat up a neigherbood dog, Charlotte, a lovely kitty who simply scratched up some royal drapes, and Weird Larny who got arrested for impersonating a moose. Garfield gets picked because of plot convience.. but bolts to rescue Odie from certain death...

The other pets join him in booking it the hell out of deathland and overun the one guy trying to stop them. It's here we get our final number, and my faviorite, Together Again, with rawls and goytte combinging vocals. It's a joyful, triumphant song of renuinon as our heroes finally escape and go home.

Jon.. is a bit of a passive agressive dick, assuming they were partying whihle he was worried sick.. even though he clearly didn't you know CHECK THE POUND or do any work whatsoever. They quickly butter him up, he "forgives them" and we get one last gag taken directly from a strip I coudln't find to close things out

Here comes garfield is a great start to the specials. The stakes are high but still grounded enough for early garfield. While the timeline of thigns is a bit sped up, it's anchored by a belivieble yet touching arc from garfield, confromation that while he may bully odie and be annoyed by his existance.. he can't live without the guy and it's a fitting thing to get him off his fuzzy butt to do something. The jokes are fairly funny, the music is top notch. It's an excellent special and only seems lacking.. because they mostly get BETTER from here, with Here Comes Being a good start.. but most of the others take that foundation to new heights. Still it's a fantastic start and well worth checking out.

And like with my monthly muppets reviews, i'll be ranking these as I go and since I already covered babes and bullets and the fabulous funnies, that gives us two to start. I'll also be adding the garfield films to the ranking if I ever do them, and would be happy to do those on comission if anyone's intrested. Anyways here's our current ranking

This ranking probably won't move much at first, but we shall see

next time: In honor of the movie's launch we're looking at this special's followup, Garfield On the Town. With the new movie finally introducing us to Garfield's Father, it's only fair to look back at how we met his mother in one of the best of the specials. Tears will be shed, weird musical numbers will happen and you will be moved> yes you. in the front there.

Thanks for reading.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Honestly Blake is one of the most interesting characters ever

Bestie, I could go on for a while on how much I love Blake. (Like Cam I'm quieter about him being in my top five.)

(Hi future Messy here, this went on for longer than I thought because I took this as an excuse to give an analysis on why I like Blake. So all of that is under the cut if you're interested.)

I like yanderes by themselves (one of the reasons I enjoyed Ivan's storyline.) but the fact that Blake isn't your typical form of yandere when you think about the word is even better. Like when you think of yandere you think of "oh my god I've been drugged and tied up in a basement while this person monologues at me about how we're meant to be together. I haven't seen this person before/saw them once or twice but don't really remember them!"

Meanwhile with Blake, he's been friends with his listener for years. (Probably childhood friends even though it's never directly confirmed. I think it just says Yandere Cult friend)

He also never tried to push them to be with him. Maybe that's because his listener was made aware of his tendencies (I would give my left kidney for a flashback audio of how THAT conversation happened. Also if Erik released a BA of Blake and Bestie's first night together, I would probably invest in patreon ngl. The knowledge that Vega has two audios *even if its impVega* was almost enough. But I'd also prolly get uncomfy trying to listen to it. It really depends how he makes the BA's. N e ways) so they would be able to call him out if he started growing more obsessive and possessive.

Although they might like that considering they agreed to be with him after he said he won't be able to give them space or distance.

I've looked into childhood friend yanderes, and usually they still end up drugging their love interest or whatever and bring up the fact that "we make such good friends, you know we would be perfect together" type of thing.

BUT Blake never does that. He's one of those rare yanderes who understand boundaries and respect their love interests enough to not push past those. It makes him less intense of a yandere (and acts as a gateway drug to get people into yanderes. But that's besides the point.) He's just content being in their life.

Could this be because he knows his listener is going to die soon, and he doesn't want to waste time trying to be more when he's content just having their attention? Sure. He might be trying to change their future, but he still needs to prepare for it to come in case he fails.

Imagine having someone who is willing to drop anything for you, joins a cult to try to save you, commits crimes for you... but also respects any boundaries on the relationship you have with them? Yes please.

Not to mention, whenever he's with his listener... Blake becomes so soft. Sure, the change in how he treats Sunshine and how he treats his listener can be a bit startling. But that change is what makes him being soft so much more enjoyable to me. He has the ability to be a total asshole, but he's not. (Same type of reason why I like tsunderes or soft manipulators like Vega.)

Now that's not to say that I don't like how mean Blake can be. The way he's so harsh and passionate about something that he's willing to risk anything? The way he talks down to Sunshine? Uses their nickname as a weapon against them (makes me wonder if they'll ever be able to hear it the same again, even if it comes from Elliot.)? I eat that up.

I got on my rose colored glasses, so there just seems to be a lot of flags right now.