#if you saw me post this before no you didn't

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 5

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4)

Airenyah is back, bringing you even more rambles about Style Sattawat Chayakorn than ever before. This meta series might just end up becoming my magnum opus.

Alright, here we go. So, in episode 3 we saw Style starting to develop positive feelings for Fadel. He tries to bond with Fadel, tries to engage him in amiable conversations, and also starts to get suspicious of as well as curious about Fadel and his life and develops an interest in learning more about this man and all he's made up of, an interest that is entirely separately from Kant's mission and the deal with the car.

In episode 4 this trend continues and we follow Style as these positive feelings slowly develop into actual, genuine romantic feelings. Style goes from simply just liking Fadel to like liking Fadel.

Now in episode 5 we get to watch Style slowly, yet rapidly fall in love with Fadel as he grapples with the fact that the man he's falling in love with regularly kills people.

And ohhhh boy, what a ride it is. I've written over 12k words for this meta and yet I still feel like there are so many aspects that I still didn't manage to get into or that I only barely scratched the surface of. Not to mention that there are some scenes (especially the first sauna scene) where I feel like every time I watch it, every time I replay the scene I'm getting something else out of it. I swear, the amount of times I've written and rewritten whole sections... No, truly, at this point I feel like I hate more or less everything that I wrote. I apologize in advance for the mess you are about to read. And let me tell you, no matter how detailed you think this meta is? It in no way reflects all my thoughts and feelings that I have about this episode and about my boy Style Sattawat.

Either way, enjoy!

Pronoun Situation: Just assume Fadel and Style use the rude guu/mueng pronouns with each other unless I explicitly state otherwise.

To recap: Style has started to develop genuine feelings for Fadel and is over the moon that Fadel actually agreed to be his boyfriend. His joy is soon punched out of him as he learns of Fadel's real profession. Style unexpectedly meets Fadel at the gym and runs off in a panic, unable to deal with the situation and absolutely terrified.

No. 1: Sauna The Sequel

Let me just say straight away that I'm gonna be looking at this scene running on the assumption that this is happening on the same day as when Style ran away from Fadel at the work-out bench last episode, because Fadel says: "You seem strange today." If the scene from last episode had happened on a different day, I think he would have said "recently" or "these days" or something along those lines instead. Anyway, let's start.

They're at the gym and apparently they both like going to the sauna after a good work-out, because just like in episode 2 they have their next run-in in the sauna after parting at the weightlifting bench. This time it's Style, though, who arrives at the sauna first and he sits there, still in distress, but already a lot calmer than he was at the work-out bench.

When I first watched this scene I was thinking to myself how fun it was to watch Style be very scared of Fadel after we got multiple explicit references of Style decidedly not being scared of Fadel. Now on second look, though, I don't think he's actually as scared as I had first thought. In their last scene together, the scene by the work-out bench, yeah, Style was absolutely terrified and fighting for his life. But instead of a ruthless killer, Style experienced kindness and care, experienced Fadel being a sweet boyfriend. Unable to reconcile these two conflicting perspectives on Fadel, Style made an escape. Now he's sitting in the sauna contemplating everything, trying to figure out how to deal with and/or get out of this mess. Fadel enters the sauna and while Style still looks a little surprised and startled, it doesn't put him into a panic again. As has been pointed out by @secriden and I have also already discussed in my ep4 meta, in episode 4 Style went to the gym during day time, likely in order to avoid Fadel who explicitly mentioned in episode 2 that he prefers to go to the gym at night. But then Fadel shows up anyway and Style, who hadn't been expecting that and as a result hadn't been mentally prepared for a run-in with Fadel, panics completely. Now, however, sitting in the sauna he is well aware that Fadel is around. This might also be a reason as to why Style's heart isn't stopping the way it did back at the work-out bench.

Fadel sits down next to Style and Style moves away, putting more distance between them. What's funny, though, is that despite Style's apparent discomfort at touching Fadel or being anywhere close to him, he still keeps his hand near Fadel, touching him anyway.

[pls scroll back up to the title pic if you wanna see it, i've reached image limit 😭😭😭]

Now we could call that unclean acting, because if Style really is that uncomfortable with the thought of being close to or touching Fadel aka a Known Killer, then he should be making sure to keep each and every single body part away from Fadel, including his hands. Meaning, he should really be yanking that hand away from Fadel. Or what we could do instead, what's even more fun actually, is that we could interpret this as Style not actually being that uncomfortable with the thought of touching Fadel despite his rational mind telling him he should be. His rational mind might be telling him that he should keep his distance from Fadel if he wants to stay alive, but his hand betrays him, exposes his true desire of wanting Fadel anyway. Style is conflicted, but he is not disgusted by Fadel and now after Fadel has been nothing but a sweet boyfriend to him and Style has calmed down a bit from his earlier panic, he also no longer feels as threatened by Fadel's presence and his touch.

Style is still extremely nervous, though, because the knowledge of Fadel killing people is still at the forefront of his mind, but Fadel's presence and Fadel himself don't terrify him as much anymore. This emotional change also shows in his voice: Earlier at the work-out bench he was hesitating to answer every time Fadel said something to him only to hurriedly blurt out his replies a moment later. Now in the sauna, while Style still hesitates and blurts out his answers, they're not as rushed anymore and he's also more talkative again, engages in the conversation more than he did earlier. What's more, at the work-out bench Style barely dared to look at Fadel and when he did look at him, he only threw quick glances at him before turning his eyes away again. In the sauna Style starts out avoiding eye contact with Fadel at first, but as soon as Fadel opens the conversation, Style can (mostly) look him in the eye again.

Fadel calls out Style's uncharacteristic behavior and Style quickly comes up with excuses. Unlike back at the work-out bench, where his voice was full of panic and terror, he now sounds more appeasing, in an attempt to calm Fadel's worries and suspicions. There is a lot of awkwardness when Style claims "I’m fine. I’m just not used to this", there's even a sort of urgency to it like please believe me, please believe me, please stop asking. Fadel stares at him skeptically, so Style elaborates: "It’s usually me running after you, but now you’re with me."

By the way, since I know so many people are liking the Thai language tidbits, this line here:

It’s usually me running after you, but now you’re with me.

More literally is:

Usually I'm after you, but now you're after me. ปกติกูก็ตามมึงแล้วมึงตามกูบ้างแล้วอ่ะ [bpòk-gà-dtì - guu - gôr - dtaam - mueng - láew - mueng - dtaam - guu - bâang - láew - àh] usually - I - follow - you - and - you - follow - I/me - some - already - [particle]

Style actually manages to find his sincerity for this specific lie, but Fadel is already onto him and asks if Style has suddenly changed his mind after all. Style looks away awkwardly, but also lost in thought a little as he thinks about how this is exactly what happened after he found out the truth. It's not like he can just say this, though. Imagine that. Sorry, I don't want you as my boyfriend after all because I don't feel comfortable dating someone who could potentially murder me. And as I mentioned in my ep4 meta, I do think Style is lowkey terrified that Fadel will kill him if Style breaks up with him right after Fadel finally started opening up to him which he knows was a big step for Fadel. But then Fadel says "I don’t mind [breaking up], you know? I don’t like you that much. I’ll get over it." Style looks away, sighs and gets lost in thought. It's a messy situation to be in, even if Fadel won't immediately be killing him over a break-up after all.

When Style fails to answer Fadel stands up in order to leave. This brings life back to Style and he hurriedly holds Fadel back, asking him to wait with the most puppy eyes:

Yeah, I just had to spend one of the only 30 images per post on the puppy eyes, I mean just look at him!!

Anyway, Style looks at Fadel with puppy eyes, and there is so much uncertainty and hesitation and doubt in them. There is also fear, but to me it doesn't look like he's afraid of Fadel specifically, it looks more like he's anxious and worried about the whole situation in general. It looks like Style wants something, but hasn't quite figured out what exactly it is that he wants. He is feeling many emotions at once, has many conflicting feelings at once. When Fadel asks Style if he's sure, I'm struggling so hard to pinpoint/name the many different emotions that Style is feeling in that moment. All I can think of looking at Style's face is: help.

The boy is overwhelmed. He wants to be far away from Fadel, but he also doesn't want him to leave, wants to dump him, but he can't and also kind of maybe deep down perhaps doesn't even really want to, has something on his mind that desperately wants out, but that he must keep inside under any circumstance.

Fadel asks Style if he's intimidated by him and I just wish the English subs had kept the word "scared" just like the Thai lines kept the word กลัว [gluua], because it's such a nice callback to episode 4 where Style enters the greenhouse, yelling "You think I'm scared of you?" (or "But I ain't scared of you!", as the English subs put it). Now Style is getting thrown that question right back at himself. Style has proven time and time again that he isn't scared of Fadel, but this time when he says "I'm not scared of you" it's a lie. Fadel skeptically raises an eyebrow at him. Style comes up with another excuse. "I just can’t believe my persistence actually worked." It definitely is an excuse, but I think that Style is telling the truth here, that he really is surprised that he managed to actually get Fadel to open up to him. I think he truly wasn't expecting it. Now there is also little bit of amusement as he finishes the sentence. As much as he does not want to be around a killer, it doesn't change the fact that he really did enjoy getting on Fadel's nerves. But that little smile fades very quickly as he looks at Fadel in anxious anticipation. And Fadel? Fadel goes with it and throws him a challenge. Style's persistence didn't work. They're on trial. Style still has to put more effort in. Style raises his eyebrows at Fadel like Bitch what did you just say to me????

Fadel did it. He's awakened Style's competitive side. Style completely forgets any qualms he initially had about getting close to Fadel and starts getting handsy with him. But Fadel interrupts Style's seduction and asks to go to Style's garage. However, Style hasn't forgotten about Fadel's secret job enough to happily welcome him home, so he declines. He's definitely horny now, though, and suggests staying in the sauna instead to do the deed and get it over with. As I said in my ep4 meta, Style only gets handsy with Fadel when he's genuinely trying to get into Fadel's pants or under his towel. This is why I think that despite Style's initial apprehensions surrounding Fadel and his secret job, Style absolutely would have hooked-up with Fadel right there and then if Fadel had let him. But Fadel doesn't, he insists on going to the garage instead. Fadel's secret job is fully back on Style's mind again. Style sits back again, sighing as he tenses up again a little. He's clearly not as uncomfortable and nervous around Fadel anymore as he was at the beginning of the scene, but he certainly doesn't feel great about letting a killer into his home. He throws Fadel a look, and I do think Style is a little scared again, but I feel like Style is less scared of Fadel himself and more scared about what might happen if he lets a hitman in, scared not just of what might happen to himself but scared of potentially also putting his dad in danger or giving away any information that could be useful to Fadel in the future in case Fadel does decide to murder him if Style gets too annoying or if Fadel finds out all the secrets Style's been keeping.

Now, guys, let me tell you I spent a whole day writing and thinking about this scene and honestly, I struggled sooo so much. Even as I've finished writing this part I'm still not happy at all with what I put down. There is just so much going on inside of Style and it turned out to be extremely difficult to name and to pinpoint every single emotion because I felt like any time I replayed a shot I was seeing a new aspect and there were so many times where I was feeling an emotion but I just couldn't find the right word to describe it no matter how much I clicked my way through different words and synonyms on Google. But maybe that's kind of the point. Style is feeling many different things, a lot of the emotions that are also contradicting each other, his rational mind is fighting against his heart and it's all so overwhelming in a way you can't really put into words.

No. 2: Date Night

They're on their little go-kart date and Style is having so much fun that he's completely forgotten to be uncomfortable around Fadel, laughing the brightest laughter as he zooms around the track with Fadel. Ever since Style found out that Fadel kills people professionally, Fadel has never once made him feel threatened and unsafe in his actions apart from what was in Style's head at the time. Fadel isn't a ruthless murderer, not to him, not towards Style, and it has Style relax again, has him laugh without any apprehensions. Style is finally able to let go of his worries again and to simply just enjoy the time with his new boyfriend.

A little language note here, this:

It’s just a fluke.

More literally is:

You beat me just this one time. ชนะกูแค่ครั้งเดียวเนี่ย [chá-ná - guu - kaê - kráng - diiao - nîia] beat, defeat - I/me - just, only - time - only, sole - [particle]

Style has let down his defenses so much that he immediately engages in a personal conversation when Fadel starts asking questions and shares without any hesitations. Both we, the audience, as well as Fadel learn that Style lost his mother. This makes me especially happy, because I wrote this in my ep3 meta about the conversation when Fadel drags Style into the storage room:

I do think there's some truth to it when Style says "I have my own problems. You’re not the only one" but whatever problems in life Style currently has (especially if there's anything connected to loss and grief), these problem's really aren't at the forefront of his mind right now.

I had a feeling these lines would come back and that they might be connected to loss, since that's the theme of the support group and at the time of writing I even contemplated the fact there might even be something in Style's past. I almost added a little sentence or two about how if Style also lost someone it has probably been long enough since then that now he's able to be unserious at a group meeting for grief without thinking about it even for a second.

Style brags about winning a competition and Fadel says he knows. The pleased smile is wiped off of Style's face as he suddenly remembers Fadel's real job. Style is starting to feel a little threatened again, a little scared. When he asks "How'd you know that?" it's almost an attack. Fadel shouldn't know this. Why does he know this? Did he do some snooping around? Why would Fadel need to snoop around? Is Style the next target? Does Fadel have a reason to kill him? But Fadel explains he saw it online. Yeah, okay. That makes sense in this day and age. Style lets it go but is still on guard. He doesn't quite trust Fadel.

Fadel continues asking questions. "You said you liked me from the moment you saw me. What did you like about me?" But the thing is, that was a lie. Style did not, in fact, like Fadel from the first time they met. He needs to come up with a believable reason. "I liked the feeling of chasing after you." I do think he genuinely did have fun chasing Fadel, bugging him, which is why he manages to say it with enough sincerity for Fadel to believe it. Style can't fool me, though, because while his words aren't exactly performative like other times when he's being insincere (as discussed in my ep4 meta), his demeanor is still a bit too "loud" for me to fully believe it. Just that one sentence, though, because I absolutely do believe him when he says he likes to win. We literally just saw his behavior when he won their race. Or back in the sauna when he immediately tried to seduce Fadel after Fadel reminded him that they were on trial. Besides, Style likes attention and I'm sure coming out first place in a competition gives him plenty of attention. And as he says, it gives him adrenaline so he's also just having plain fun with it. Fadel is amused and asks "So you only hit on me for the thrill of it?" Style feels called out, because he did hit on Fadel for ulterior motives. Style can't exactly admit that, though, so he quickly deflects: "It's not like that. I like how you look, too." Style then lists more reasons why he's interested in Fadel and I think that what he says next is 100% true: "I like that you’re so different from me. It’s an opportunity to learn, and it’s an experience, you know?" I think this is something he started appreciating about Fadel at the latest over the course of episode 3 where he started to get more interested about Fadel and his lore.

One thing I want to point out: There is less space between them by the end of the scene than there was by the end of the scene. They got closer throughout the scene, not just in the literal sense as in closer with their bodies but also figuratively they got closer in their relationship. It's as Style said: they can get to know each other when they are boyfriends. And getting to know each other is exactly what they're doing here, and they will get to know each other even more as the episode progresses.

Style might be a competitive guy, but the thing is, so is Fadel. Which we, of course, are already well aware of. After all, we did just watch these two have stand-offs with neither of them willing to back down for 4 episodes straight gay. But Fadel lets him know anyway: "The game isn’t over. A guy like me doesn’t know how to accept defeat." It's a threat, but not a dangerous one, no, it's more of a flirty challenge. At the same time, Fadel is being 100% serious when he warns that he won't accept defeat. It's like he's saying No matter how hard you try to fully win me over, I'll never open up to you completely. They'll come back to this topic again later in the episode, when Fadel tells Style he's at 80%.

Fadel drives off and Style watches him pensively. I think by now he's really lost his (immediate) fear about Fadel working as a hitman. I find his expression in this shot here especially interesting:

He look sad more than anything. He was already starting to like Fadel in the previous episode (here are the receipts), but now that he's starting to spend more time with Fadel where Fadel is not just constantly pushing him away and putting him down but is actively engaging with him and they're having serious conversations, now Style is really starting to like him. But unfortunately the situation had to get super messed up and there doesn't seem a way to get out of it that doesn't end in hurt or pain. And unfortunately, he can't exactly talk about his problems with his new boyfriend either. But the show must go on. Life must go on. Because life never stops. So Style gets on his feet, hypes himself up a little, and gets into his go-kart to follow Fadel.

No. 3: Choices Were Made

Where earlier in the sauna Style tensed up at the thought of taking Fadel to his place, after their happy little go-kart date all those fears and worries that Style had had initially went right out of the window. Fadel has been nothing but nice and sweet to him and Style has by now realized he's got nothing to be afraid of. Fadel is not a danger to him specifically (yet?).

Fadel starts asking more questions and we, together with Fadel learn more about Style's relationship with his dad. We also learn that Style likes to choose his own partners himself. This is in line with what I said in my ep3 meta:

For Style, sex isn't just sex and I think as impulsive as he can be he still makes very deliberate decisions about who he actually sleeps with.

Now I'm thinking this extends to who he actually dates, too. Style wants to make the choice of who he is with himself. Which is kinda ironic, considering he himself didn't actually choose Fadel. Unless you count Style's choice to agree to Kant's deal. But Fadel has no idea about any of this. So he walks up to Style, hugs him and asks "And you chose me?" Ah, well, no. Not exactly. Style doesn't answer Fadel's question but instead goes "You wanna do it here?"

Honestly, even though Style's question was probably a convenient way of getting out of having to answer Fadel's question, I think Style's had this question on his mind from the second he felt Fadel's arms around him. After all Fadel did suggest going to the garage instead when Style tried to seduce him in the sauna and I'm sure Style had a flashback to that when Fadel went and hugged him.

Pronoun side note: Fadel changes from the rude guu pronoun to the polite phom pronoun in their little role play when he says "My car broke down." They don't use any pronouns for the rest of their exchange.

Now this is the first time they're having sex as official boyfriends and while in a way the scene is similar to the scene in the storage room, it's also very different. Just like in the storage room, Fadel is the one to initiate the kissing and Fadel is the one taking off Style's shirt (or at least one layer of it, that we see). While the tempo in the storage room was fast and rushed, Fadel now takes his time and everything he does is much more deliberate. Fadel is now actively enjoying what he is doing, lets himself enjoy it. And just like in the storage room, Style lets Fadel control the situation while he waits to see where this is going (it leads to role play, apparently). And yet, Style isn't passive the way he was in the storage room, no, this time they are on a much more equal level. This time it's much more of a mutual conversation. We see this in their little role play where Style actively engages (a dialogue requires two people or else it'd be a monologue) and the way Style also initiates a kiss instead of letting Fadel do all the work himself. Style is no longer a passive part in this. He actively teases Fadel from the start by not properly kissing him back right away and also actively seeks out Fadel's vicinity and physical touch. We see it in the way he actively nuzzle's into Fadel's shoulder:

They are both enjoying this, and they are also actively letting themselves enjoy it. Together.

The lighting is also starting to change: in the storage room, everything was blue and cold. In the greenhouse, there is less light in the scene in general, and while the light that is there is still blue, the darkness gives off a feeling of protection. They can confess to their mutual budding feelings in the safety of the shadows, hidden away where no one can see them. Now in the garage, there is still so much blue going on in addition to bright white lights from inside the shelves. They are still surrounded by the cold, but they themselves are bathed in yellow and red light.

They are slowly making progress, slowly coming out of the cold, distant lighting, slowly stepping into the warmth. However, they still have a way to go.

No. 4: Sharing Is Caring

Side note, since I was just talking about the lighting: I can't help but notice how the cold white light that was inside the shelves earlier is now much less prominent right next to Fadel. Instead we get yellow and red car parts. Fadel is sitting right by the warmth (the warmth that Style was giving him in this scene, perhaps?).

Where in the go-kart date scene Fadel was the one asking all the personal questions, here in the garage it's now Style's turn. And Style finally asks about the scar and I'm glad we're starting to talk about it because I've been dying to know. Fadel says it was an accident and Style wants to know the details. Fadel says it's an occupational hazard, which, gee thanks I could have guessed as much. And I'm sure so could Style. Fadel in addition also asks why Style would want to know that and Style says "I want to know more about you." Style was already starting to care last episode, but back then what he cared about was mostly Fadel's actions and how they affected him himself and his feelings. We could even go as far back as episode 3 and say that Style was starting to get curious about Fadel and his story all the way back then, even. This time it's different, though. This time it's not that he wants to know just to satisfy his curiosity about this strange, closed-off man or because he doesn't like "being kept in the dark". This time it's not that he cares because of how Fadel and his words/actions directly affect Style himself. No, this time he genuinely wants to get to know Fadel better. He cares because he is starting to worry about him. This time it's not all about Style himself, but this time it's all about Fadel instead.

Style is starting to care, is starting to care so much about Fadel himself now. But unlike Style, Fadel doesn't voluntarily give up information about himself, which Style notes and then asks more questions: "Why do you go [to the Rise Up group]?" Fadel doesn't say a word and Style doesn't pressure him any further. He stays quiet, watches Fadel, and patiently waits for him to come to a decision. A full 10 seconds later Fadel does share: "I lost my parents." Style stares at him in shock. He hadn't been expecting that. But this is something he can relate to, even if he lost just one parent and not both of them. Style offers Fadel a metaphorical shoulder to cry on, creates a safe space for Fadel in which he invites him to share more details. Once again Style doesn't pressure Fadel, he just looks at Fadel encouragingly but leaves the choice to share entirely up to him. This time it takes Fadel 13 seconds to respond, but respond he does: "My parents were murdered."

Fun fact, Style is actually fully aware that Fadel's parents were murdered by gunshot specifically because Fadel explicitly tells him:

พ่อแม่กูโดนยิงตายเนี่ย [pôr-mâe - guu - dohn ying dtaai - niîa] parents - I/my - be shot to death - [particle]

When Style hears this he realizes two things:

Fadel has fucked up trauma.

This is a conversation he probably shouldn't have started, a topic he probably shouldn't have brought up.

The conversation took an unexpected dark turn and Style doesn't want to pressure Fadel any further, so he is quick to change the topic to something more bright. "You had any lovers before?" Love can't be too heavy of a topic, right? Right?? But we saw the flashbacks of Fadel dancing with someone in episode 3. And we heard Keen make a reference to someone important in Fadel's life who suddenly disappeared. Speaking of...

Remember how in my ep3 meta I was wondering if Style had heard that specific comment since we weren't shown the exact point of Style walking in on them? I guess now have confirmation that Style did not in fact hear that comment. Unless of course Style asked that specific question to subtly try and find out more backstory on that too (Oh god, Style, how I am begging you keep asking! I too need to know!!). Although, the way he was rushing to change the topic to something happier didn't seem like he was thinking too hard about his question. But then again, he did also tilt his head a little when Fadel said no, he doesn't have an ex, and I can't tell if Style tilts his head because he really has no idea and simply just doesn't believe that a guy like Fadel has never dated anyone or if he tilts his head because he knows Fadel is lying. Aghhh, gdi, I'm still none the wiser.

Anyway, so Fadel says no (bro. my dude. who was that man in the flashback, then 🤨) and explains "My life isn’t exactly easy. I don’t want to drag anyone along with me."

Actually, for the second sentence he really says:

And besides, I also don't want to cause trouble to anyone. แล้วอีกอย่างกูไม่อยากทำให้ใครเดือดร้อนด้วย [láew - ìig yàang - guu - mâi - yâak - tam hâi - krai - dèuuat rón - dûuay] and - one more thing - i - not - want - to cause - anyone - be in trouble - also

Style blinks. He cracks just the tiniest and briefest smile.

(In case you don't see it, here have a slowed down version of just the grin. Check the corner of his mouth: )

Hah. Got him. "Is owning a burger joint so difficult that you can’t date?"

I wasn't sure before if Style knew what he was doing when he asked the ex-lover question, but with this question now he definitely knows exactly what he's doing. Fadel comes up with a reply, but his word choice is still sus, so Style asks a follow-up question. Personally, I think that Style started asking question in the hopes of Fadel accidentally spilling the truth himself. Because if that happened, then that would be at least one secret off Style's back. He wouldn't have to pretend to Not Know and it would probably also lessen his anxieties about Fadel's occupation because at least he would also be able to openly talk about it and his fears with him. I think at this point Style has fully realized that Fadel isn't killing him any time soon, that his own life isn't in immediate danger just because he hangs out with Fadel and does things that boyfriends do with him. He is back to being as fearless as he was before The Reveal.

So Style asks a follow-up question, hoping that maybe Fadel will slip-up even more. But Fadel comes up with a bullshit story and Style just listens to it, nodding like yeah sure whatever you say baby. It quickly becomes clear to him that he won't be getting the truth out of Fadel's mouth for now. I feel like I haven't seen enough of the story yet to really confirm this for myself, but I wonder if during this conversation Style also realizes (or at least starts to suspect) that deep down Fadel isn't actually too fond of his killer job. Because when Style says "Maybe you just need to find something else to do. Do something that allows you to love without risking your loved ones." it just sounds too much like what he's ACTUALLY saying is:

Well, if you don't like being a "burger joint owner" (assassin), if being a "burger joint owner" (assassin) is making your life THAT difficult and depressing, then why don't you just quit being a "burger joint owner" (assassin) and find a new job that makes you happier and your life easier? Perhaps even a job where you don't have to worry about me your loved ones being safe?

After this deep talk where Fadel finally opens up to him about personal things, Style's panic has vanished completely. Instead, it has all been replaced with worry, worry about Fadel and his well-being specifically. And Style is also well aware of this development as we'll see later in the episode when Style tells Kant "I'm beginning to worry about him now." Style is still scared for his own life, but now it's not because he's terrified about Fadel killing him but more so because he doesn't want to become collateral damage if (when) he stays in a relationship with Fadel. I think this is another subtext of when Style says "Do something that allows you to love without risking your loved ones". He's not just making it about Fadel and his loved ones but he's also specifically referring to his own safety, too. Do something that allows you to be with me specifically where I don't have to worry about my own safety and potential death.

Style smiles innocently and cutely at Fadel (and I cry bc that exact smile is Dunk's inner Daonuea coming out) but before the conversation can go any further or they can get any cuter, Kant interrupts. Fadel is irritated and Kant's unexpected visit is an inconvenience to Style too, but Kant has some pressing matters to discuss, so they walk off to discuss them in private.

No. 5: Conflicted

Kant is in panic because Bison seems to be going ballistic on Kant's old hook-up with murder being a potential outcome. This has Style very concerned. He doesn't really care about Kant's old hook-up but he is very worried about his best friend. As much as Style likes helping people and as loyal of a friend he is, he really doesn't wanna help if helping Kant means Kant's potential death. Kant tries to talk Style into helping anyway, but Style is done: "I had nothing to do with this. You dragged me along." Style is very much not cool with having been involved in this without his consent. And now he's got another problem that makes the whole situation even more tricky for him:

By the way, I have a bad feeling about Fadel. He scares me. But I like his rough romantic side.

And at this point I really need to share Style's actual words:

And another thing, I don't know how I feel about Fadel. แล้วอีกอย่างนะกู���ู้สึกยังไงกับไอ้ฟาเดลก็ไม่รู้ว่ะ [láew - ìig yàang - ná - guu - rúu-sèuk - yang-ngai - gàp - âi - Fadel - gôr - mâi - rúu - wâ] and - one more thing - [particle] - I - feel - how - with - [rude prefix] - Fadel - not - know - [particle]

He makes me feel scared. มันทำให้กูรู้สึกกลัว [man - tam hâi - guu - rúu-sèuk - gluua] he - to cause - I - feel - scared, fear

But I like his rough romantic side. แต่กูชอบมุมโรแมนติกเถื่อนๆของมันเว้ย [dtàe - guu - chôp - mum - roh-maen-dtìk - tèuuan tèuuan - kŏng man - wóiie] but - I - like - angle - romantic - rough - (of) his - [particle]

I put all of Style's lines mostly for completion, but really the language note is mostly about the very first line. Style doesn't say he has a bad feeling about Fadel, no, he says he feels conflicted about Fadel. Because on the one hand he's scared and on the other hand he really also likes him. When Style says Fadel makes him feel scared, I don't quite believe him, because apart from the sauna and that one short moment at the go-kart track absolutely nothing in his behavior has screamed I am scared, on the contrary. I think this is his rational mind telling him that logically he should be scared because Fadel fucking kills people fighting against his heart that is slowly getting to know the Fadel that's behind those thick high walls and that realizes that Fadel isn't that bad of a person after all. What's more, ever since they started dating, none of Fadel's actions or behaviors have put Style into immediate danger. In fact, Fadel has been nothing but a sweet, hot boyfriend to him. Style doesn't know how to feel about Fadel, because he's getting conflicting messages and can't figure out whether he should best follow his mind or his heart.

But Kant currently doesn't have time for Style's love life. Someone else's life is potentially at stake. So Kant responds: "This ain’t no time to confess your weird feelings." Or what he actually says is:

This is not the time to confess your love. ไม่ใช่เวลามาสารภาพรักไงล่ะ [mâi châi - weh-la - ma - săa-rá-pâap - rák - ngai - lâ] not - time - come - confess - love - [particle] - [particle]

I just wanted to note that Kant says nothing about "weird": Kant is not being judgy about Style's feelings specifically, he's only judgy about Style's sense of timing. Okay, carry on.

Anyway, Kant suggests asking Fadel for help.

No. 6: Boyfriend Card

Fadel, predictably, is not happy about this turn of events. But Style is now helping his friend after all, and so he pulls the boyfriend card: "You’re my boyfriend, you know? If you like me at all, you have to help my friend." It works. Fadel agrees to help. Kant calls him "Brother-in-Law". Style is very hyped at Kant's sass and praises him. Fadel chats with Bison on the phone and learns enough info for Kant to know exactly where Bison is at. Kant runs off. Style watches him leave wide-eyed, then turns to Fadel and excitedly goes "Wow. I hope you’re not the jealous type like your brother is." Fadel tells him "If you mean well, then you have nothing to worry about." But then he also speaks out a warning:

But if you’re just leading me on, or trying to get something out of me, you’re in for some serious bruises.

Dare I say this is foreshadowing for when Fadel finds out about the real reason why Style was hitting on him? And I have a feeling Style gets that memo too. Uncharacteristically, he stays quiet.

Pronoun side note: Kant uses the polite phom/khun pronouns for Fadel while Fadel uses the rude guu/mueng pronouns for Kant and I think that's hilarious, actually.

No. 7: Falling

Kant updates Style on the James situation but Style stays optimistic. Kant really doesn't share this view and reminds him that Bison is a hitman. Style gets stressed and also a bit irritated at Kant and shoots a reminder back: "I was sleeping with his brother last night all because you asked me to, didn’t I?" (he says, as if Kant ordered him to hook up with Fadel in the garage 🤭) Style hates that he is in this mess when he never even asked to be in this mess in the first place.

Kant says he doesn't want anyone else risking their lives (bro. maybe you should have thought of that before you got your bestie involved or at least asked him for his consent, don't you think 🤨) and that he has to get this job done. Style looks downwards, troubled and in thought. He sits down and it's time for another confession:

Come to think of it. How would I even get through this? I compromised my whole body, and if we’re being honest, I’ve already compromised half of my heart, too. I’m beginning to worry about him now.

This has Kant alarmed. "Don’t fall in love with him at all costs." But it's already too late. Style is already falling, and he's falling fast. And deep down he knows it, too.

Style points out that Kant isn't exactly doing any better either. Kant sighs and says he wants to end things quickly and then foretells what their happy ending is going to be: "Once those two get arrested, we walk free."

But Style stares gloomily into the air and gives a near invisible head shake, almost as if he disagrees with Kant's words, as if to say But that's not what MY happy ending looks like.

Then he stands up swearing and says: "Hope it ends before either one of us kicks the bucket. I shouldn’t have put my heart on the line for this." He wants to get out of that mess asap and preferably alive (and with his heart fully intact). Kant has another mission for him.

No. 8: Can I Have This Dance

Yeah no I don't have anything to say about this scene except: this is a boy in love.

And also, not to brag but @titkos--sideblog and I called the butt grab(s) before the show had even started airing, including the exact episode number (episode 4 counts too because we did get the one wide shot in the greenhouse with Fadel's hands on Style's ass!!):

Okay, no, I lied. Now that I'm done awww-ing about how fucking cute this whole scene is, I do have something to say after all:

Once again, there is not a single ounce of fear anywhere to be found in Style, no matter how stressed he gets whenever Kant brings up that Fadel and Bison are hitmen. On the contrary, Style is completely at ease. He's shamelessly teasing Fadel, shamelessly flirting with him, and also being silly without a second thought. I was actually talking to @secriden in our DMs and I just wanted to share something she said to me because she really hit the nail on the head:

[Style] makes it clear that he wants Fadel to participate and frames his case as being about his need for an "F" for his "S" so the 'embarrassing cheesiness' is all on Style's behest. When he makes Fadel dance with him, he reminds Fadel that he's already seen a far more embarrassing dance and found it incredibly hot and then starts being overthetop and ridiculous so that even if Fadel starts dancing with him its not going to be more embarrassing and silly than what Style is doing.

I absolutely agree. This whole scene is Style trying his best to get Fadel out of his shell, to get Fadel to loosen up a little. We've already seen Style attempting to do this in episode 2 when he shows up in Fadel's kitchen with an order and pretends to be a commentator on a cooking competition or in episode 3 at the heavy metal bar when he invites Fadel to dance with him, to scream and to basically let loose with him. Except back then Fadel stubbornly refused to engage. Where Style failed in episode 3, he now as Fadel's official boyfriend succeeds. This time around Fadel does dance with Style, albeit tentatively, and even ends up having a little bit of fun.

No. 9: Percentages

They're sitting at the table watching Kant and Bison be cute and Style makes a comment about how they look good together. Fadel informs him that even if he tolerates Kant now, he still doesn't trust him and Style squints his eyes a little at him in a way that I can't find the proper words to describe.

It's almost inquisitive. Style knows full well that Kant absolutely has ulterior motives, more ulterior motives even than Style himself has. Style knows full well that Fadel absolutely has legitimate reasons to distrust Kant, knows exactly that Fadel's bad feeling about Kant is entirely on point. The way Style squints at him looks as though he's curious about why Fadel doesn't trust Kant. What is Kant doing, what in Kant's behavior is giving it away that Kant's not exactly trustworthy?

Fadel elaborates that a guy like him doesn’t go trusting someone 100%. Style looks almost a little guilty when he looks down at table for a moment as he goes "Oh?" Then he asks "Not even me?" and it's just a little bit too "loud" again to be entirely genuine. Style knows exactly that he doesn't really deserve Fadel's full trust because he, too, is hiding secrets from Fadel. And I think he tries to play it off and deflect from it in an Whaaat, you don't even fully trust ME, your very own BOYFRIEND? When CLEARLY as your boyfriend I am entitled to 100% of your trust? sort of way. But Fadel didn't come to play around. He retaliates with "You’re at 80% at best." Which, by the way, in Thai goes something like:

Someone like you? Only gets 80. อย่างมึงนะได้แค่80 [yàang - mueng - ná - dâai - kâe - bpàet sìp] like - you - [particle] - receive - only - 80

Style throws him a look that again I find really hard to describe:

He looks a bit judgmental that Fadel really dared to be this harsh to his very own boyfriend, but at the same time he knows that Fadel is absolutely spot on with that judgment. And I think he is also kind of disappointed, because he does very much want those full 100%.

More serious now, Fadel continues: "I feel like you’re hiding something from me in the rest 20%". From the tone of Style's voice when he says "What are you talking about?" I feel like this isn't at all about him deflecting Fadel's completely spot on statement but more about Style complaining that Fadel won't play along properly. Style is frustrated, but almost in a pouty way. When he asks "What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?" I think it's still part of the little game that he's started, but now there is a sort of urgency to his voice that exposes him. Style needs an answer to this question, because it's important for him to get those 100%. Style really wants Fadel to be able to fully trust him. Style might still be keeping secrets from Fadel but nevertheless he wants to do everything he can to "be worthy of Fadel's trust" (words stolen from @secriden's meta), despite the lies he has to keep up for now. What's more, Style went all in the moment he and Fadel became official and the "all in" includes trust as well. It's either all or nothing for Style.

Fadel doesn't answer immediately. Similarly to their deep talk in the garage, Style patiently waits for Fadel to speak rather than to press him for an answer. And 7 seconds later Fadel drops: "It'll never happen."

So far this conversation has been mostly lighthearted but at this point the mood suddenly changes. Fadel announces there will never be a day where he'll fully trust Style and Style sighs, a little dejected.

No matter how hard Style tries, there will never be a day where he'll be able to make up for all the secrets he's been keeping and for all the lies he has to tell, all the lies he's already told, and all the lies he'll be forced to tell in the future. Because let's be real, at this point? Style is keeping up the charades mostly for the sake of Kant (and maybe a little bit for the sake of his own safety). As many people have already pointed out, Style is the type of person where what you see is what you get. And I think Style struggles with the fact that he can't be fully honest with Fadel. And he knows it's going to hurt both of them when Fadel finds out that he was right in not fully trusting Style. And there is nothing he can do about it, no matter how much he tries to be as open and transparent with Fadel as possible to soften the blow.

Fadel elaborates and as Style listens to Fadel's explanation, the good mood that was there on Style's face earlier is replaced by a very serious expression.

I think he's probably wondering where Fadel got this outlook on life from. By now Style has learned that Fadel has gone through quite some shit in his time. I think he realizes that there's a chance that Fadel's distrust in people is connected to another "My parents were shot" story or that it could also be connected to Fadel's scar. This interpretation gets pretty much confirmed at the end of the episode, when Style tells Fadel that he'll be his 100% one day and goes to kiss Fadel's scar immediately after, as if to say I know whatever scarred you took away your ability to trust people but I'll be the one to do you right.

The conversation is taking a heavy turn, but the bar is no place to discuss such topics, so Style dismisses Fadel's words and changes the topic like he did back at the garage. He invites Fadel to come on stage and sing. Fadel refuses. Style reminds him that there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about since there's only drunk people here, but Fadel still doesn't want to. Style pulls him on stage anyway and whipped boyfriend that he is, Fadel follows him after all and engages in the social interaction.

But then Kant gets a phone call and suddenly has to run. I absolutely cannot tell if Style is fully aware of what Kant is planning to do or not. In their last one on one scene, Kant announced that he had a plan, but didn't exactly elaborate on it, just told Style to make sure Fadel stayed by his side the entire time. Of course Kant might have told him off-screen, but there is also a chance that Style only knows as much as the audience knows. Either way, Style doesn't feel great about it. When Style asks if he should come too, his voice might just be the most serious and worried we've ever heard it throughout the series so far. But Kant refuses and runs off by himself. Fadel walks over to Bison to make a comment to him while Style stands behind them, looking worried. When he sits at the table with Fadel and Bison later waiting for Kant he is uncharacteristically quiet and still, except for that one time where he tries to get Bison to stay a little longer. But when that doesn't work he just sits there and stares at Bison wordlessly. Even Style's aura is suddenly very quiet.

Pronoun side note: When they met in episode 2, Style and Bison where using the polite khun/phom with each other. In this scene all three of them were using only the rude guu/mueng pronouns when talking to each other.

No. 10: Look They've Made It Onto A Bed

Okay, so this is gonna mess with my usual formatting of going chronologically, but please bear with me as I take a look at the actual sex before I get into the dialogue.

Everything about this is warm, so warm and soft with the red/yellow/orange tones and they've finally made it onto a bed. I've seen posts joking about getting them a bed for the sake of their backs, but I think it was a very deliberate choice that up until now they were never anywhere near a bed. Your bed is one of the most intimate places you have, it's where you sleep and are at your most vulnerable to outside danger. Up until now, Fadel and Style couldn't be on a bed yet, their relationship wasn't ready for that yet. And I think it's so significant that the first time they are sleeping with each other on an actual bed happens after Style knows the truth about Fadel. It's such a stark contrast to the beginning of the episode where Style asked to hook up in a public sauna and get it over with because he was just so very uncomfortable about bringing Fadel home. But now at the end of the episode Fadel is right here in Style's bed. Style knows the truth, knows Fadel kills people and he still brought him into his home, his own room, his very own bed. Style knows the truth and yet Style has fully let Fadel into his life. (Like, 100% you could say...)

This scene also parallels the storage room hook-up, but now the places are switched. In fact, this scene is the complete opposite of everything that happened in the storage room. Let's take a look.

As many people pointed out after episode 3, Fadel was more or less worshiping Style's body back then. Now it's Style's turn to worship Fadel's body. Back in the storage room, everything was rushed because Fadel was running on anger and sexual frustration. Style now in turn moves very slowly and everything he does, he does very deliberately and with intention. There is so much tenderness and care in every single one of Style's touches. Where the storage room sex was first and foremost led by anger, mutual annoyance, and physical attraction, instead it is now led by love and the emotional bond that they've started to build up over the episode. Actually, @secriden has written a beautiful post comparing these two scenes with each other.

If you remember, @clemelntine noted what we can learn about Style's and Fadel's desires in their respective fantasies. In my ep3 and my ep4 meta I added on to this thought and discussed at length how in Style's fantasy he barely stopped searching for eye contact and how the emotional component was very important to Style and how he was getting next to no eye contact in the storage room scene (where emotionally they weren't on the same page at all) and how he was slowly getting more of it in the greenhouse (where they were finally starting to come together emotionally). Now in Style's bed? Style finally gets what he desires. Fadel barely stops looking at him, hardly ever takes his eyes off of him. He even lifts his head to watch Style as he moves to kiss Fadel's scar or to kiss his upper body a little later on.

Of course, for Fadel specifically part of that is also because he is still on guard around Style, can't fully let go yet, can't fully trust Style yet (more on the topic of trust in a bit). Which is why it's so beautiful that when Fadel does take his eyes off of Style it's when he finally lets himself fall into it a little. Fadel may break eye contact, but it's not because he's avoiding Style's eyes and closing himself off again, no, it's because Fadel is finally starting to let go a little, is giving up just a little bit of control to Style, letting him do as he pleases the way Style has let Fadel do as he pleased back in the storage room.

I also find it interesting that there is no background music at all throughout the entire scene (that is from the moment Style takes his shirt off right at the beginning before the dialogue even starts) because it makes the scene feel even more intimate and raw, almost as if we, the audience, shouldn't even be here. In the storage room, in the woods, and in the garage, every single time there was music playing while they were going at it. This here in the bedroom is the most intimate sex they've had so far, and it is stripped bare of any background music (remember the word "bare", it will come back later). There are no distractions, that is no music to hide behind, it's just them and their feelings on full display. Here in Style's own room, Style is laying himself bare for Fadel completely and this is underlined by the lack of music. The music won't come back until the end to lead us into the end credits, and when the music does come back, it's none other than Style's, I mean Dunk's OST song for the show.

No. 11: Bare Bodies and Open Hearts

Now that we've looked at the sex itself, let's take examine the dialogue and the context in which the sex scene is happening in.

The double date night is over and I'm assuming Kant probably texted Style telling him he was all good, because considering how concerned we left Style last time we saw him, I think he would have had his mind somewhere else most of the time during this scene rather than focusing entirely on Fadel if he didn't know his best friend was safe. Anyway. I'm just gonna run with that this is what happened and that's why Style is all relaxed and without worries again.

Actually, before I get into anything else I wanna talk about these specific lines because both the English translation as well as the original Thai lines have me insane for different reasons:

F: Like I said, no one can truly lay themselves bare for someone. [...] S: Will you lay yourself bare for me?

Let's start with what has me insane about the Thai lines first. But first a little recap: In my ep3 meta and my ep4 meta I mentioned the word เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai]. If you're new here or simply just forgot, this is a word that means something like "open up to something/someone" or "giving something a chance". This word consists of the words "(to) open" (เปิด [bpèrt]) and "heart, mind" (ใจ [jai]), so literally translated it makes "to open one's heart".

Now, Style was using this word in episode 3 after Fadel presented him with a burger when he asked "Are you finally folding?" (literally: "You've opened your heart to me now, right?"). If we remember, the burger was the first time Fadel reached out to Style first and did something nice for him (unless we count Fadel dropping off the car at Style's garage in ep1, although that only came about as a consequence of the crash, or there was also that time Fadel ambushed Style in the locker room, but he didn't exactly have nice intentions about it). Anyway, that was the first time Fadel was properly connecting with Style in a friendly way and of his own accord, a significant moment.

In episode 4 we get this word again during the "be my boyfriend" conversation when Style says "I’m 100% in. It’s your turn to let me in a little bit" (literally: "I've opened my heart to you 100% already. Only you remain. How much will you open your heart to me?") Again, this is a significant moment, because right after those lines is when Fadel finally agrees to be Style's boyfriend.

And in both scenes I just really really liked the image of Fadel, who has closed off his heart so deeply and securely behind thick high walls, being asked to open up the way to his heart.

Right now you're probably assuming that in Thai they're using the word เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai] again. No. Actually, they are not. But!! They are using the word เปิด [bpèrt] and I think it works enough for a callback to that imagery and specifically to those lines from the "be my boyfriend" scene:

F: Like I said, we aren't 100% open with others. อย่าง��ี่กูบอกอ่ะ คนเราไม่เปิดกับคนอื่น 100% หรอก [yàang - tîi - guu - bòk - àh • kon rao - mâi - bpèrt - gàp - kon èun - rói bper-sen -ròk] way - that - I - say - [particle] • people, we - not - open - with - others - 100% - [particle] [...] S: Can you open up for me? มึงเปิดให้กู้ได้มั้ยล่ะ [mueng - bpèrt - hâi - guu - dâai - mái - lâ] you - open - for - I/me - be able to - ? - [particle]

And it just makes me a little bit insane for multiple reasons: first of all, we continue with that imagery, that theme of Fadel opening up to Style. And second of all, there's also been a running theme about percentages. The theme of opening up and the theme of percentages are tightly connected:

It starts in the "be my boyfriend" scene where Style tells Fadel "I've opened my heart to you 100% already." All the doors to Style's heart are wide open for Fadel to enter as he pleases. But at the time Fadel's heart is still closed to Style. So Style tells him that it's Fadel's turn now and asks him: "How much will you open your heart to me?" How many doors to his heart will Fadel open for Style? What is the percentage of his heart that Fadel is willing to grant Style access to?

And then earlier in the scene at the bar Fadel says "Someone like you only gets 80%". Somehow this feels kind of like an answer to Style's question of "How much will you open your heart to me?" And yes, the conversation at the bar is about trust and not their hearts, but Style made it about their relationship when he asked "Not even me? (Not even your boyfriend?)" and Fadel also brings up love later when he says "No matter how much you love someone". The heart is also involved in a relationship. And what kind of relationship is it when your heart isn't fully in it or you don't fully trust your partner? And I think this is also part of the reason why it's so important for Style to reach those 100%. He wants both of them to put 100% of their hearts and 100% of their trust in this relationship. He wants this to be an equal relationship.

And here and now in the bedroom Style asks again: "Can you open up to me?" But Fadel can't just yet. Because Fadel doesn't believe he can. So Style declares: "One day, I’ll be your 100%." One day he will show Fadel that it is possible for him to trust someone completely. One day he will have 100% of Fadel's trust. One day he will have 100% of Fadel's heart. And he will get there. Because he is persistent. And because Fadel already has 100% of Style's heart and Style's trust. It's only fair for Style to get 100% in return.

So. This is the reason why the Thai lines make me feel insane. Now on to the English translation which adds additional imagery, which as a whole makes me feel even more insane.

Let me just start out with a reminder that at the bowling alley Fadel vehemently refused to wear the stupid shirt and then announced that he was taking it off as soon as they were done when he did agree to wear it after all. And now let me just point out that Fadel is still wearing that very same stupid shirt in during this scene in Style's bedroom. In fact, it's Style who loses the shirt first. Anyway.

In English Fadel says "No one can truly lay themselves bare for someone." But Style already has. For Fadel's whole entire line we linger on a shot of Style's bare body:

Fadel says "No one can truly lay themselves bare for someone" to Style who is literally bare before him. Style is living proof of the contrary of Fadel's beliefs. They continue their conversation and then Style asks "Will you lay yourself bare for me?" to Fadel, who is still fully clothed and very much not bare. And again, their conversation continues until Style declares "One day, I’ll be your 100%." And right after that Style pulls up Fadel's shirt. And how much does he pull it up?

That's right. He lays bare roughly 80% of Fadel's upper body (if we don't count the back of the shirt that didn't go up bc Joong is lying on it). He lays bare those 80% that Fadel told Style that he had. A little later Style pulls up the shirt even more for better access to the nipples but Fadel never fully loses his shirt the way Style has (who literally starts out the scene by immediately taking his shirt off, baring himself to Fadel first thing with no inhibitions). Until the end of the episode Fadel never loses the shirt 100% because he is not yet ready for that, not yet ready to lay himself bare for Style. Not yet ready for Style to uncover 100% of him. And Style respects that, no matter how much he might have complained at the bar. He never tries to remove more of the shirt than those 80% that he was granted.

Sorry. I need a moment.

Okay, now that we have this imagery and those themes out of the way, let's go through the scene the way I usually do. So this episode we started their story with Style feeling very uncomfortable at the thought of bringing Fadel, a Known Killer, to his home and we end the episode with Fadel right there in Style's room, in Style's bed. Style and Fadel have spent the entire episode sharing personal things and getting to know each other better and also on a bit of a deeper level and now that they're in private away from the others, Style opens up about something that has been on his mind all episode: "It feels so weird every time I’m with you. Sometimes you make me feel so scared, and sometimes you make me feel so safe."

Style is very much not scared of Fadel in this moment. In fact, most of his behavior and his actions surrounding Fadel this episode weren't the behavior and the actions of a scared man, especially when he was interacting with Fadel directly (apart from the very first scene in the sauna when the initial shock hadn't worn off yet). I think Style is still thinking of his mind vs. heart conflict when he says "sometimes you make me feel scared and sometimes you make me feel safe", but deep down he has already decided.

But Fadel doesn't know any of this. Fadel has no idea of the internal battle that Style has been fighting all episode, trying to reconcile the image of the ruthless killer with the man he's falling in love with. So Fadel tells him that it would be good for Style to be a little scared of him and repeats his point from back at the bar about (in)complete trust. And then he speaks out a warning: "The real me might be scarier than you think." But Style isn't scared. Because Style already knows that. Style already knows the truth.

However, Style mostly knows it in theory. He did get to see some of Fadel's real him in action when he took on 3 men by himself and also got to experience some of Fadel's violence on his own body. But the thing is, no matter how much he isn't scared of Fadel despite Knowing the Truth in theory, now matter how lowkey (highkey) hot he found Fadel take out three whole men, actually witnessing Fadel actively kill someone in practice might still be traumatizing no matter how much he thinks he is mentally prepared for it, so I do think Fadel kinda has a point with his warning. But I'm not sure Style has thought this far ahead already. I think in this episode he was mostly preoccupied with worrying about his own life, his own safety and with coming to terms that he was falling in love with a murderer in the first place.

Throughout the entire episode Fadel has never really given Style a reason to be scared of him. Instead, Fadel has spent quality time with Style, has engaged in conversation more than ever before, has asked him personal questions about his life and has even shared a little bit about his own life, which wasn't much but it was a start. They've had serious talks, sexy talks, fun talks, they were silly together and laughed together and they sat on the floor and shared pain together. Fadel didn't even get murderous over a potential break-up in the very beginning when Style was still nervous around him. Style spent the entire episode falling in love with Fadel, despite knowing about his occupation. "Can you open up for me? / Will you lay yourself bare for me?" Style responds to Fadel's warning. It's encouragement in several ways. It's encouragement for Fadel to try to learn that he can in fact trust someone (Style) 100%, that he can in fact be fully open with someone (Style). And it's encouragement for Fadel to tell Style his secret. Style needs Fadel to open up, to admit the truth himself first. Style needs it, so that they can openly talk about it without having to dance around the subject and talk in metaphors. He needs it so that there will be one less thing that he is lying about, so that he'll be one step closer to being able to be 100% honest with Fadel. And it has to be Fadel specifically who says it first so that Style can just run with it, because if Fadel finds out that Style was already in the know then both Kant and his mission as well as the 80% trust that Fadel has granted Style are on the line.

"I promise that no matter who you are, I’ll still like you." And there it is. Style's decision. His mind and his heart were fighting a battle and his heart won. Rationally he knows Fadel is dangerous and that he should stay away from him if he values his own life, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And even though it's not exactly like he can just say I know what you are and I fell in love anyway, I want to be with you despite it all, he still tries to get the message across.

Fadel doesn't believe his promise, though. "Words are cheap. I’ll do that when you’re ready. You can judge, then." Again, I think Fadel has a point. Fadel's response works whether Fadel is aware that Style knows or not. Because yes, Style may say he'll like Fadel no matter his occupation, but Style still hasn't seen the killer in action. Fadel's words mean Decide whether you still like me or not only when you find out my real occupation before you promise anything as much as they mean Decide whether you still like me or not once you've actually seen me murder someone in front of you before you promise anything. Style has already made a decision about the former, but he is yet to make a decision about the latter.

But in reality he has already made a choice and he is set on it: "One day, I’ll be your 100%." He wants Fadel's full trust and he wants Fadel's full heart. He will show Fadel that he will stay by his side and that Fadel's trust in him will be worth it. He will show Fadel that the mortifying ordeal of Being Known™ is not as scary as it seems. He means it when he says he'll like Fadel no matter what. Because now he already cares and worries about him much more deeply than he could ever have anticipated. Assassin be damned. He can get over it. And also, Fadel being dangerous is really fucking hot. "I just hope you don’t get any new scars."

I've already made a post about it, but I just want to point out: Fadel's scar is positioned right above his heart. I do very much wonder if the scar is related to the guy Fadel danced with in the flashback. Is he the reason why Fadel doesn't trust anyone 100%? Did whatever happened with that guy not just metaphorically leave a scar on Fadel's heart but also physically? Either way, we know how it's going to end:

Style's love is going to heal Fadel's scarred heart.

[mofongomuncher]

𝘼 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧

POV: Telling Ekko you’re pregnant

Im gonna be posting a bunch of lil Ekko oneshots on Wattpad, I feel like this man doesn’t get enough stories and it irkssss me sm. So if you’d like to read more the link is at the end!!

I'm not all that good at writing, I’m also doing this for fun so please go easy on me. I'm hoping to get better as I keep writing. But I still hope you guys enjoy it!! :3

.

The Firelight base, hidden among the green thick fogs of Zaun, was Ekko's haven. A quiet—peaceful place from the chaos of the Undercity.

His little room at the top of his tree was where he could think, when the weight of leadership felt too heavy—he could sit, take a moment for himself for a little bit.

His room was filled with unfinished projects, blueprints and tools scattered all across his workbench, The lanterns and candles cast a soft, wam glow over the space, giving it a calming, almost ethereal atmosphere.

But tonight...tonight felt different.

Tonight, there was something heavy in the air.

Y/N sat on the edge of his bed, She had something she needed to say. Something that had been on her mind for days now. But the thought of how Ekko would react to it made her heart race like hell.

Ekko was seated at his workbench, tinkering with a device, his brows furrowed in concentration. When Y/N finally spoke, her voice barely rose above a whisper, it stopped him cold.

"Ekko," she began, and when he turned, the look on his face shifted. His precious brown eyes locked onto hers, and for a moment, she saw his guard come down, just a fraction.

He stood, his usual cool confidence flickering for just an instant. "What's up doll? You've been acting different... is something wrong?"

Y/N hesitated.

Fuck This wasn't easy.

How do you tell someone you love so much that their life is about to change forever?

But she couldn't keep it to herself anymore.

"Ekko...I'm pregnant."

Ekko froze. His expression was unreadable for a second before his eyes narrowed, brows drawing together. His mind that was always fast, was now working overtime, processing what the hell she just said.

For a second, the silence felt like a punch to the gut, the weight of his thoughts pressing down on both of them.

"You're... pregnant?" He repeated, his voice low, almost to himself, like he wasn't sure whether to believe it or not. He just stood there, trying to find something to say but was unable to form the words just yet.

Y/N nodded, swallowing hard.

"I found out a little while ago. I just didn't know how to tell you. Hell, I didn't even know how to process it myself."

Ekko rubbed his forehead, He was silent for a moment longer before he spoke, his voice rougher than usual, but it was tinged with concern. "I... I'm not sure what to do with this Y/N...Fuck...I didn't even expect to see this coming.."

Y/N's heart clenched at the uncertainty in his voice. She had been afraid of this, of him not knowing how to react.

she took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. "I didn't expect this either. I'm scared too Ekko. But I don't—I can't to do this alone. I need you."

Ekko didn't move right away, his gaze still locked on her. His hands fidgeted with a loose gear on the workbench, his mind was clearly in a battle between his responsibilities and the unexpected future baby unfolding in front of him.

"Damn..." he muttered, shaking his head, his usual confident demeanor cracked for a moment.

"...I—I don't even know what kind of father I'd be. I barely have time to think straight with everything that's going on lately." His voice softened, but it was raw, honest—Ekko was always the kind of person who wasn't afraid to show what he was feeling around me, even if it made him vulnerable.

"But I'm not gonna back down from it..."                   "Not from you."

Y/N felt the tension in her chest start to melt away as he spoke.

She stepped closer, her eyes softening, the relief obvious in her expression.

Ekko's eyes softened as he took a step closer, his hand gently cupping her face. "Whatever happens next, we'll figure it out..Like we always do." His smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

He leaned in a little closer, their foreheads brushing together. He seemed to take a moment to just soak it all in, before speaking again, softer this time.

"I love you Y/N."

Y/N's smile softened, feeling her heart swell. But before she could say anything, Ekko's voice had that hint of excitement. "And I'm gonna love our baby too. I'll teach 'em alll the important stuff."

He leaned back a bit, his eyes sparkling with affection. "Can you imagine? A little mini us running around just causing all the trouble, and I'm the one trying to keep it all together while you just—well, you'll be egging 'em on won't you?"

Y/N raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a playful grin. "Oh absolutely! That little ball of happiness is gonna have all of your genius and a whole lot of my sass... We'll have a little firecracker on our hands."

Ekko's grin grew, the playful energy between them settling into something warm and steady. "They'll be perfect." He stepped in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, then slowly brushing his lips against hers in a gentle, lingering kiss.

When they pulled away, he smiled, his hand gently resting on her cheek. "And if they're half as amazing as you, we'll be just fine."

Y/N's heart fluttered, her smile growing as she met his eyes. "I love you Ekko."

"I love you too Y/N"

[pinkaditty]

Holidays with Ghouls (Sho Haizono x Reader; Tokyo Debunker)

please read:

okay. big news + life update: i got into a major car accident a little while ago. my first one ever! i am in a lot of pain so things may be slow-going for a while and ill be unable to commit as much time to writing due to the tangled mess that is dealing with modern insurance companies and recovering from my injuries. thankfully its not so bad to be hospitalized, but its bad enough to limit my activity for the time being. i am somewhat ashamed to ask, but if you like my writing, please consider donating to my cashapp: $cindyfromstarbucks! my car was 100% totaled, and im gonna need to save up for a new one, and my job doesn’t pay very much. thank you for your consideration! please enjoy, regardless! (this paragraph will be on my posts indefinitely, probably until i fully recover)

a/n: LET ME START THIS OFF BY SAYING IT’S ENTIRELY SELF-INDULGENT… i have a green thumb and i’ve been growing a small garden lately (limited space. i hate captialism.) and i just thought “hm. what if we grew fresh ingredients for sho’s food truck?” and the idea stuck and didn’t leave no matter how much i tried 2 shake it off. mc is basically written as me im not gonna hold y’all, but i kept it 2 a minimum so it could still be an ‘x reader’. 

summary: self-indulgent reader x sho. in which you do something nice for him and he struggles to return the favor. 

no cw! enjoy!

big fan of the “woman that is so wound up all the time and extremely professional and tries to keep everyone at arm’s length distance” x “guy that is only a few years younger than the woman but loves calling her by age-appropriate honorifics (i.e. noona, ojou, jiejie, madame, etc) and goes out of his way to teach her how to fucking relax every once in a while” trope and essentially if i were with sho that is how the relationship would go LMFAOOOOOOO

You used to have a bit of a garden before becoming a student at Darkwick. A part of you often wondered if there were people tending to your garden now so you could return to it, well kept and exactly as you remember it, when you were cured of this curse and got this anomalous ring off of you. You'd never really had the idea to plant anything here; you were much too focused on missions and other incessant errands the ghouls saw fit to send you on. You didn't like it, but held your tongue regardless. If all went well, you wouldn't have to deal with this after less than a year. 

You were fond of a few ghouls, though. Some of them were a nice reprieve from the other harsher and more selfish ghouls. Haku was a great example of that, and so was Subaru, his dorm's captain. You'd grown fond on the Jabberwock ghouls, as they were always kind and polite. You didn't really mind the Obscuary ghouls, either. Even if odd, they were good natured, and never turned you away. You appreciated that Rui had a bit of a green thumb too, and would often stop by to assist him with plant care. 

The one ghoul you were the most fond of, despite his less than agreeable best friend, was Haizono, or Sho, as he insisted on being called. Sho, despite his friend Leo, was actually pretty friendly. You enjoyed the time you spent around him, whether that was collecting supplies from the diner, or training with him, or even helping him meal prep for the following day for his food truck. It was fun, spending time with Sho. You're almost angry the idea didn't dawn on you sooner.

Said idea is why you carefully sift through the dirt in your compost container, careful not to split any of the worms with your nails. The potatoes should be done growing by now. The idea had dawned on you one day when Sho mentioned not having enough potatoes to serve fries the following day. Potatoes were an easy crop. And they took three months, at most, to grow. Sure, if worse came to worst, you'd die, but growing potatoes was a good distraction and encouraged you to plan for the future, as though you wouldn't die. After a few favors from Benji and some begging towards the chancellor, you had a small garden behind the chapel. Granted, you'd just started it three months ago, so it wasn't as full as your garden back home, but it was good enough. It was hidden from the rest of campus by the surrounding trees, ensuring no one would find the garden unless they had reason to cut around the chapel, which wasn't necessary considering the path out front. Not only did it serve as your little place of respite, it allowed you to do nice things for others. You were just growing potatoes for now, but it felt like enough of a starter, at least. You’d just planted some tomato seeds that you’d hoped Sho would also find a use for. 

Once done harvesting a substantial batch of potatoes, you wrap them up in plastic bags to look like you bought them. It would save you the embarrassment of having to explain that you’d grown them yourself. 

It’s pleasantly chilly outside, the still afternoon air heavy with promises of cold weather and a white winter holiday. Dirt remained underneath your fingernails from all that harvesting, but it was a small price to pay. Your heart pounded with anticipation and exertion as you made the trek to Vagastrom, heading for the nearby food truck. As expected, you find Sho sitting on one of his supply boxes, far underdressed for the cold weather. You can’t tell if he’s resistant to it or rebelling against it, but you can tell he’s cold. His cheeks and nose are tinged red and his eyes are squinted against the cold wind. You can even tell he’s sniffling with how often he inhales. You exhale both fondly and exasperatedly. The stubbornness of these ghouls was simultaneously attractive and irritating. 

You make it no secret you’re approaching, the bag of potatoes crinkling with your upbeat steps and your own runny nose sniffling in response to the cold wind. You place the bag of potatoes beside him with a heavy ‘thud’, to which he finally looks up, appearing jolted out of his thoughts. 

“Here,” you start, taking your scarf from around your neck and tying it around his without waiting for a reaction. “You must be an idiot to sit out in the cold with just your uniform on.”

“Senpai.” He greets you with wide eyes, watching but not protesting as you tie your scarf around his neck. He appears confused at first, his lips pursing at your actions, but seems to relent as he buries his face into the scarf. You watch as he settles into it, his eyes sliding shut against the cold wind, his nose and lips finding warm solace in the comfort of your scarf. Before long, he pulls it away, revealing himself back to the chilly air with a slight wince. “...No need. Thank you, though.” He glances up at you with a smile before rising to his feet and dusting off his knees. “Whatcha got here?” He gestures to the plastic bag before picking it up, far more effortlessly than you, and inspecting it. 

“Potatoes.” Your breath puffs out in a white cloud. “They’re for your food truck. I remembered you mentioned you were running low, so… I decided to help and buy you some.” At some point, you’d shifted your attention to the ground, toeing at a rock as you realized how ridiculous that sounded. Surely Sho could handle himself. He might even find your help embarrassing, when you really think about it. 

You sneak a glance at him and are relieved to see a small smile on his face as he observes the potatoes. He huffs out a light breath, his face visibly softening. “You didn’t have to do that.” He slings the bag over his shoulder, using his other hand to ruffle your hair and return the scarf. “Come on,” he turns around, headed for the door of the food truck. “You can help me prep.”

‘That’s only helpful if you’ll have any customers in this cold,’ you think to yourself, but decide not to say aloud. Instead, you watch the slow smile on his face as he nods towards you, and continues towards the truck. Crazy, how a simple glance of his could make your heart race. Something about the warmth of his smile, the feel of his fingers carding through your hair, and the leftover scent of his cologne lingering on your scarf tugged at your heart, just a little bit. 

You briskly follow after him, throwing the scarf back over his neck. “Keep it,” you say sternly, watching as he turns to you quizzically. “Have you seen the state of yourself in this cold?” The phrase ‘I want you to have it,’ lingers on your tongue, but you decide not to voice that, instead letting a small amused smile rest on your face. You vaguely gesture to him, your gaze flicking to his red cheeks and nose. He rolls his eyes, noting your point, and keeps the scarf around his neck, opening the side door to his food truck.

“Alright, fine. I’ll wash it and return it.”

As he steps inside the food truck, even from standing behind him you feel a wave of warmth. You follow, stepping inside, feeling the sweet relief of pleasant warm air and smelling the scent of roast chicken. The environment is warm and cozy, wrapping around you like a cushy blanket or a hug from a loved one. Sho closes the door behind you and you note your scarf is still around his neck. Something clicks.

“Wait a minute. You won’t need that.” You point to his scarf, your nose crinkling in mock displeasure. He instinctively flinches away, looking at you with a raised brow. He was seemingly already protective of your scarf, even though he’d only just received it. “Hand it over.”

“That’s hardly fair.” A crooked smile forms on Sho’s face and his brow raises higher. “Why do you assume I won’t need it?”

Indignantly, you gesture to the warm space surrounding you. Sizzling meat, a warm oven, and heaters in a corner, adjusting the temperature of the truck. “Vagastrom is literally right next to here. What do you need that for?”

He doesn’t answer directly, instead tilting his head at you. “I seem to remember a certain someone insisting I keep this scarf. Are you going to go back on your word?”

You clamp your mouth shut, remembering what you’d said and did earlier. He was right, you had insisted, even if only a little. You huff out a frustrated breath, crossing your arms and furrowing your brows. He laughs at your display, pulling the scarf off of him and tossing it on a high shelf of boxes you couldn’t reach. “Like I said, I’ll wash it and return it.”

You decide to swallow this loss. You had other scarves at the chapel anyway, and if he was going to use it, at least it wasn’t going to waste. 

You look around the space again before taking off your coat and hanging it on one of the hooks on the door. “Any plans for winter break? Will you be going anywhere?” 

“Nah.” Sho shook his head, checking on the chicken in the small oven before continuing to stir fry a vegetable medley on the stove, jutting his shoulder out towards the cutting board, covered in various vegetables. You wash your hands before heading over, carefully scraping at the dirt built up under your fingernails from digging. “Unless my… brother… goes, I’m not going. He’ll beat my ass if I don’t and he does.” A look of displeasure crosses Sho’s face, and you have to hold back a laugh at the thought of Professor Hyde chastising Sho for not seeing his family over break. 

You head over to the vegetables laid out on the cutting board, and start with the garlic, peeling it out of its husk. “Sounds like a struggle.”

He scoffs, pouring soy sauce over the vegetables and tossing them before scraping them off on a nearby to-go container. “Holidays are always a struggle with pushy family.” Despite his outward scowl, amusement lights up his eyes for a moment. 

You chuckle, having finished chopping up the garlic and moving to a green bell pepper. You slice it open, its seeds spilling onto the cutting board. “Your family’s pushy?”

“Yes, too pushy sometimes.” Sho shakes his head, shooing you to the side as he grabs potholders to pull the chicken out of the oven. “My brother’s more like my parents than I am.” He carefully places the roast chicken down on a short counter. It’s golden brown, stuffed with rosemary sprigs, lemon slices, and garlic cloves. 

He places it to the side, readying the frying pain and reaching for the peppers you’d chopped, tossing them into the oil. You finish a pepper and reach for a leek next, slicing it into thick chunks. Your eyes flicker back over to the chicken momentarily, rosemary stems sticking out of it like a tail. “The rosemary stems look like a chicken tail.” You voice the thought absentmindedly, smiling to yourself. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Sho glance over at the chicken himself. You hear a huffed laugh as he returns his attention to the peppers, sizzling in the oil. “Yeah, it does.” He’s silent for a moment before speaking up again. “Speaking of, it was hard to find fresh rosemary this time around.”

You look up, having finished cutting the leek. A confused expression crosses your face. “Where in the world would you find fresh rosemary in the dead of winter?” You look away, reaching for a carrot, slicing it thinly.

“Rosemary’s an evergreen,” Sho states flatly, reaching for the leek and garlic you cut earlier, mixing it in with the batch of peppers on the stove and stirring them. “You can find that fresh anytime. What’s harder to find, however…” Sho trails off, leaving the stove for a split second, reaching for the bag of your potatoes he’d placed on the ground earlier. He opens the bag and pulls one out, some dirt still stuck in the indents of its skin. “...Is fresh potatoes. They’re typically harvested in the fall.” He smiles at you, before turning away to rinse it off.

Realizing you’d been caught in a lie, you turn away from him, putting all of your focus on the carrot in front of you. You hear his footsteps slowly approaching before he places a freshly washed potato right in front of you, his hand shaking with mirth. 

“Come on, MC. Don’t think I didn’t notice the dirt under your fingernails.” He chuckles before turning back to the stove, stirring the vegetables again. You drop the knife with a clatter and hide your hands behind your back, too nervous to check if you’d missed any spots. 

You sneak a glance up at him, mistakenly making eye contact with him. His eyes gleam with amusement and his smile is soft and fond. “...It can’t have been that obvious.” You decide to admit to it, realizing the heat in your cheeks probably gave it away. 

“It wasn’t.” Sho nods to you, pouring soy sauce over the stir-fried mixture and tossing it before scraping that off in a different to-go container. “I just happened to notice the dirt when you handed the scarf to me, and your potatoes smelled extra earthy.” He takes the pan off the heat, moving over to the chicken and carefully cutting out the breast. 

It’s silent for a few moments, you staring at that freshly cleaned potato and Sho slicing through the chicken, placing the breast in one to-go container and the wings in the other. Sho finally speaks up, though his voice is low. “...You didn’t have to do that, you know.” You look up again, just to find him turned away from you, his ears turning red. Silence falls again as you watch him check off the to-go containers he’s finished. You assume he’s trying to distract himself from the obvious blush on his face, but you can’t say for sure. Something about it makes you feel similar, your heart rate picking up and your face reddening more. It wasn’t due to your embarrassment anymore. “I dunno, I’m bad at thanking people. Just, well…” Sho trails off, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck, hiding his face from you. His voice lowers significantly, and contrastingly, the blush on his ears brightens more. “Thank you. I know potatoes take a while to grow. And…” He trails off again and swallows thickly. You don’t bother asking him to finish his sentence. The implications of his words grow somewhat heavy in your heart, and you wring your fingers nervously. Of course it was profound, growing potatoes for someone when you’re doomed to die, now in nine months. The thought of dedicating your time to anything that wasn’t curing your curse was odd, but this distraction had done you well nonetheless. You didn’t want Sho to feel bad about it at all. You were certain that, if anything, the gravity of being recognized by a girl doomed to die was dawning on him. 

The words spill out before you can really stop them. “Don’t worry about it, Sho. I did that because I wanted to.” Confessing this was almost as raw as confessing your feelings, and your chest tightens at that thought, but you continue despite that. “You’ve been kind to me since after our first mission. And I’ve enjoyed spending time with you, including things as mundane as meal prep!” You gesture vaguely to the setting before you, hoping to get your point across. “I just randomly had the idea, and figured it couldn’t be so bad to act on it. It’s been a good distraction anyway, and what with all that happens here, a distraction does me some good.” Silence falls once more, and Sho finally turns to look at you, face flushed. He wipes his palms on his apron and worries his lip between his teeth, his gaze flickering between you and the floor. “...So what if I used up three months to grow potatoes? The time will pass anyways.” You turn away from him, looking at the washed potato. You reach for it and pick up the knife, beginning to cut it into cube chunks. 

“...I guess you’re right.” You can hear a gentle smile in Sho’s voice, and it warms you up internally, feeling thankful he’s accepted the gift. You glance towards him, giving him a smile, and catch him staring. There’s an odd glimpse of admiration in his eyes, which makes your cheeks warm.

“Go on and finish cutting the chicken.” You wave off his stare and jerk your gaze away from him, hiding your blush and focusing on the cubed potato. 

He scoffs and turns away, picking up his knife. “Giving me orders in my own kitchen, huh?” 

You don’t respond. You don’t need to. The warmth of the heaters settles into your skin and the warmth of the previous pleasant conversation settles into your heart. You glance down at the bag of potatoes that started it all. The eyes of the potatoes seem to stare up at you knowingly.

You’re carrying a short stack of to-go containers outside to Sho’s bike, Bonnie, your boots crunching the frosty path beneath you. Snow would surely be coming soon. You gently place the stack in the box on the back of Bonnie, careful to make sure none of them tip over. You hear more crunching footsteps and turn around to see Sho, carrying the rest of the boxes. He places them in the box as well and organizes them before securing the box with a few straps. He steps back and exhales, smiling to himself. You can’t help but smile at his pride.

“Now, to deliver these…” Sho approaches Bonnie and gets on, patting her twice affectionately. The gentle thrum of the engine comes to life in response. He looks to you and smiles, and you notice he’s wearing your scarf. “Sure you don’t want a ride back to the chapel?”

You eye the box of food already on the back of Bonnie and shake your head. You wouldn’t test fate today. Your eyes find your scarf again, sitting snugly around Sho’s neck. “Well, at least you have a use for it.” You say, resigned. Part of you wonders if you’ll ever get it back. 

Sho smiles, reaching up to touch the scarf. “Again, I’ll wash and return it.” He looks up to the sky, and you follow suit, noting the pale white blanket of clouds blocking the sun. “That said…” He starts, lowering his gaze to you again. “It is cold out. I may need this for longer than I expected.” There’s a teasing lilt to his voice and his smile turns crooked, as though suppressing a smirk. 

“...I’m not getting that back, am I?”

Sho shrugs, revving up Bonnie. “Who knows?” He smiles fondly at you one last time before speeding off, the wheels of Bonnie leaving tire tracks on the frosty path. You watch him as he leaves, his hair lifting in the wind, the tendrils of your scarf billowing behind him. You watch until he turns a corner and you can only faintly hear the rumbling of Bonnie’s engine. ‘I guess he really did have customers, even in this cold…’ You think to yourself, a faint smile growing on your face. You inhale the crisp cool air, feeling a bit cooler around your neck now that you’re missing a scarf. You idly look back up at the sky again, wondering if it really would snow today. Despite you enjoying the stillness of the winter air on Darkwick campus, the cold eventually bites at you, urging you to return to the chapel. Your footsteps crunch along the frosted path, following Bonnie’s tracks.

It’s Christmas evening, and things are finally winding down for the day. You’d been to Frostheim and made snow angels with Luca and Kaito, had coffee and played chess with Tohma, and Jin, despite himself, hadn’t asked you to run any errands for him today. You’d been to Vagastrom and exchanged gifts with Alan, tolerated Leo’s selfies with you, and looked around for Sho, but hadn’t found him. You’d been to Jabberwock and fed the animals with Haru, watched a romance movie with Towa, and played a holiday-themed horror game with Ren. You’d been to Sinostra and done some gambling with Taiga while Ritsu tagged along to ensure Sinostra’s reputation wasn’t damaged further, and had a surprisingly pleasant conversation with Romeo despite him saying your large coat made you resemble a slug. You’d been to Hotarubi and had tea and holiday sweets with Haku, Subaru, Zenji, and Lyca, who was visiting Subaru. You’d been to Obscuary and had Rui’s new holiday-themed drinks with Ed, chattering time away at the bar. You’d been to Mortkranken and reluctantly exchanged gifts with Yuri, aware of the fit he’d throw if you hadn’t gotten him anything, and pleasantly exchanged gifts with Jiro, reminding him to take good care of himself. 

Finally, after a very long, exhausting, and eventful day, you were back at the chapel, counting the vines growing under your skin, glowing lavender like the flower on the back of your neck. Some small flowers broke your skin and bloomed here and there, leaving the exit wounds somewhat inflamed. Granted, you didn’t have much time left, and these vines made that clear, but this holiday had been much better than you’d expected it to be. You appreciated the effort most of the ghouls put forth to make this holiday at least somewhat enjoyable for you, especially considering it may be your last. 

You sit by the fireplace in your room, watching the snow fall from the sky through your window. You had a tiny pine tree near your bed, decorated with handmade tinsel from the three Hotarubi ghouls and some small ornaments from Jin. You wore new pajamas from Romeo, though you weren’t sure how in the world he knew your size. You had a new bracelet from Taiga, who had originally forgotten who he’d gotten it for. On your nightstand lay a dreidel from Kaito and a snow globe from Luca. The hot chocolate you sipped on was a gift from Tohma, and some wine awaited you in your fridge, a gift from the Obscuary ghouls. You had a few new ugly holiday sweaters from various ghouls, Yuri and Ren included, and some not-so-ugly ones, thanks to Haru and Towa. A thick, heavy book about the origins of the laws of Japan sat on a nearby table, a gift from Ritsu that you had no plans to read. You had lit a scented candle from Leo, which you thought was surprisingly thoughtful, and had set aside the wax melts from Alan, planning to use them after the candle ran out. The new watch from Jiro was wrapped around your wrist, displaying the increasingly late time. In all of this, you wondered where your gift from Sho was. You hadn’t been able to spot him today, and the thought made you feel a little down. You’d wanted to spend some time with him today, but guessed he was probably too busy preparing Christmas dinner for all of Vagastrom and Hotarubi that he simply hadn’t had the time. You set your hot chocolate down on top of the accursed thick book and sprawl out in your chair, turning to the window again. Regardless, this had been a surprisingly wonderful holiday. The ghouls had given you gifts and willingly spent time with you, doing various fun activities and filling you with holiday cheer. It was a nice escape from the reality of your situation, even if it was only for a little while. 

You check the vines under your skin again, resisting the urge to scratch at where a new white flower had bloomed near your elbow. You could feel that, soon after the holiday season mellowed down, it would be back to reality, and you’d have to face your own death once again. Part of you dreaded the eventual change in weather and in the length of days, knowing your predicted end was growing near. But a part of you was also resigned to it. Regardless of whether you were due to die soon or not, this had been a nice holiday. And you could stand to live in the now, just this once. 

You carefully pluck the flower from your skin, wincing at the sharp pain. You bleed for only a few moments before it clots up. At least you could stave off the growth of the curse for now. 

You hear a gentle knock at your door. Physically, you’re too exhausted to have much more fun at this point, but mentally, you could use a pick-me-up. You head down your stairs towards the door, opening it crack by crack, trying to prevent too much of the cold wind from slipping inside. You peer through the open doorway, jolting in surprise when a familiar pair of dark blue eyes meet yours. 

“Hey,” Sho starts, lifting two boxes in his hands. “Thought you could use a warm holiday dinner.”

Your heart swells and all at once, a wave of emotion hits you. Sure, you didn’t have much time left, but that didn’t stop these ghouls from caring, and that was evident in the gifts piled up in your room, the fun you’d had all throughout the day, and the ghoul now standing at your doorstep, seeking more time with you. There was a reason he was your favorite. 

You swing the door open wider, unable to hide the smile that breaks across your face all at once. “I was looking for you, you know.” You cross your arms and narrow your eyes in mock disappointment. “Where’ve you been all day?”

“Cooking.” Sho lifts a brow and shrugs, tilting his head at you. He smiles fondly at you, and you notice he’s finally dressed appropriately for the season; a hat covering most of his hair, a matching coat and gloves keeping him warm, and your scarf, tucked snugly against his neck inside his coat. Yet again, you realize you are probably never getting that scarf back. 

“That scarf is still mine.” You gesture at his scarf, and he laughs, reaching up to brush the built up snow off of it. 

“And I’m still using it.” He replies, smiling wider. “So… Gonna let me in or what? It’s cold out here.” His breath puffs into white clouds, and you notice his cheeks and nose are tinged red again thanks to the cold. You smile and step aside, letting him in. 

You close the door behind him and he shakes off the snow built up on his coat. When he looks at you, his smile holds the warmth of a thousand candles and his voice holds the joy of a thousand holiday carols. “So… got any mistletoe? If not, we can start with gifts. Either works for me.” A blush covers his face as he pushes the boxes towards you, his smile growing wider and fonder.

You figure, regardless of how much time you have left, it wouldn’t hurt to spend a holiday with your favorite ghoul.

Bonus:

The gift, wrapped surprisingly delicately inside one of the boxes, is a knitted scarf in your favorite colors. It’s not bad, but you can tell it was done by a beginner. Holding it in your hands, a small smile grows on your face, and you sigh, totally resigned. 

By god, you are never getting that scarf back. 

“Well, thank you for your collateral replacement, but I expect that scarf back one day.”

Sho shakes his head, smiling as he chews on your shared meal, packed in the other box he was carrying. “No can do. It’s still cold and I still need a scarf.”

“I’m withholding the mistletoe, then.”

Sho huffs, rolling his eyes and continuing the meal. At his lack of a reaction, you purse your lips, thinking of another thing to withhold that might gift you a victory. Sho speaks, having swallowed his mouthful, “I can find other reasons to kiss you-”

“I’m withholding the potatoes.”

Sho looks at you in shock, dropping his forkful back onto his plate. “...I’ll think about it.”

Maybe you would get that scarf back, after all.

----------

a/n: it's done. finally it is done. finally! i've been writing this romance fic 4 a long while so im glad it is finally done

thank you all so much for reading!! as usual, i love likes, but especially comments, reblogs, and asks detailing how much you enjoyed my work!!! please feel free 2 fill up my inbox with whatever, i love talking 2 u all! but be warned my responses will be slow... im still recovering!

happy holidays 2 you all! i hope, whether you're surrounded by family, friends, or by yourself, that it's a wonderful and fulfilling holiday season 4 u. merry christmas 2 those who celebrate, and happy kwanzaa 2 those who celebrate that as well!! not very well versed in other winter holidays, but may they be joyous and merry!

[cvnntagious]

˗ˏˋ pornstar!chris films with someone new ‧₊˚

꒰part two ✩꒱ (coming soon)

creeping into chris' condo as quiet as possible with a wrapped gift in hand, a large smile took up most of your face at the thought of him opening it. though, the more you explored the area, the more discouraged you got before eventually giving up with a loud sigh at the realization that he wasn't home. but then, where was he? he always told you when he was going to be out, but today? he didn't even so much as leave you a text.

if not for chris updating you on his whereabouts becoming routine, you truthfully would've thought nothing of his sudden absence, but with a confused look on your face, you found yourself setting his christmas present on the coffee table in front of you to plop down onto his couch. you slipped your phone out of your back pocket, instantly typing away at it.

it was simple and straight to the point, leaving no room for confusion; you'd never been the type to beat around the bush. you weren't upset, really—more like confused, is all. and you waited. sitting idly on his couch as you waited for that little 'delivered' alert to turn into 'read'.

it didn't.

not for a while, at least. you ended up leaving his house only about half an hour after you sent the message, seeing no reason in just sitting there overthinking it. but you still did. going on about your day, trying to distract yourself from that nagging voice in the back of your brain that whispered 'where's chris at? what's he doing?' and 'you're not special. he got bored of you, silly,' at any moment you weren't occupying your mind with something else.

you knew you were probably overreacting; being dramatic in a way chris wouldn't like if he could hear your thoughts. i mean, it's not even like you'd be that upset if he had gotten tired of you. he was only some good dick and a person to keep you company... every single day for the past month. shit, you needed to know. picking up your phone in a swift motion as you now sat on your own couch, having tried to watch a show as means to keep your mind off chris, you checked your notifications in hopes that you'd missed his text.

but something new caught your eye.

a notification from chris' twitter, far different than anything you'd imagined throughout the day. of course you clicked it, a small breath of relief coming from you as you'd immediately told yourself he must've been busy with his executives. oh, he was busy alright.

your eyebrows raised at the sight before you: a short clip of chris plowing into some blonde with big tits, her moaning and whining in such a forced way. he was grabbing and squeezing at them. i mean, shit, he wasn’t even a boobs guy. it was so unlike him, completely disregarding his original intent for his content—keep it authentic. the caption only contained the hub link, telling his fans to watch the full video there.

dread sounds about right. a look of dread spread across your face, as if you'd just witnessed your worst fear. except it wasn't your worst fear. at least you didn't think it was, until now.

without thinking, you found yourself in chris' messages again, seeing the 'delivered' alert still there like a taunt. it was a slap in the face, really. not even the fact that he'd went and filmed with someone else, but the way he'd so clearly purposely failed to give you any type of warning.

once you'd sent the message, seeing the little text below your blue message change to 'read' instantly, it all suddenly felt pointless — all the worrying throughout the day, the dread you felt when you watched the short clip chris posted, the hurt when you saw he ignored your message, and now, even the message you literally just sent to him.

w/c : 645

a/n : i'm gonna try to bust these out the best i can, but y'all might have to bare w me cs i'm proly the worlds slowest writer... this may overlap with the au calendar as well, so to be clear, this isn't my priority. if i have to postpone parts of this to keep up with the prompts, i will. that being said, hope you guys enjoy my first multi-part tumblr fic <3.

-love, your grandma cvnty ☆!

[peachiejeongin]

Brushstrokes of Us | Hyunjin

Synopsis: You have been stressed to no end due to finals week, and Hyunjin has a colorful remedy.

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, friends to lovers

Warnings: Mentions of stress/anxiety, I wrote this before buzz-cut Hyunjin made an appearance so he does have long hair in the fic

Notice: Hello, my love! I absolutely LOVE this request! It is so cute, and writing the fiction warmed my heart!! I did my best to make your imagine come true, and I hope you enjoy it! <3 (If you saw this post twice, no you did not :>)

The whirring of the espresso machine hummed faintly in the background as you pressed your forehead against the cool countertop. The cafe where you worked part-time was quiet, save for the occasional customer stopping by for a late night snack. The weight of the week settled heavily on your shoulders; it was finals week at the university, so you had to balance a plethora of tests on top of work and an ever-growing list of responsibilities. You were suffocating.

Your phone buzzed against the counter, the vibration pulling you from your thoughts. You glanced at the screen.

'I know you're tired. Come over.'

'Not tonight, Hyunnie. I wanna go to bed early.'

His reply was immediate.

'I promise it's worth it.'

A quiet sigh escaped your lips; there was no arguing with Hyunjin when he got like this. His persistence was never overbearing, always wrapped in concern.

That is what made it so impossible to refuse him.

---

Twenty minutes later, you found yourself standing at the base of his apartment building, the chill of the December night nipping at your cheeks. The faint scent of snow lingered in the air, and your breath came out in soft puffs. Before you could knock, the door swung open, revealing Hyunjin.

His black hair was messy, as if he had been running his fingers through it all night, and he was dressed in his usual cozy attire - a loose-knit sweater that hung off one shoulder and soft joggers. He grinned, leaning casually against the doorframe.

"You came," he said simply, his voice warm with satisfaction.

"You didn't really give me a choice," you replied, though the small smile tugging at your lips betrayed the sarcasm of your tone.

"Come on." He reached his hand out, his long fingers intertwining with yours as he led you inside.

The apartment smelled like him - clean, with a faint trace of the vanilla candles he had always insisted made the place feel, "homier;" however, instead of stopping in the living room like usual, he guided you up the narrow staircase leading into the attic.

"Close your eyes," he mumbled, his breath fanning lightly against your ear.

"Hyun-"

"Trust me."

You sighed but obeyed, letting him guide you the rest of the way. The wooden steps creaked beneath your feet, and you felt the warmth of the attic before he told you to open your eyes.

When you did, the sight before you took your breath away.

The room had been transformed. Candles flickered softly on every available surface, their golden light reflecting off the rustic beams of the attic's ceiling. Blankets and pillows were haphazardly arranged in a cozy pile, and fresh flowers - specifically lillies and roses - were scattered in mismatched vases. The faint scent of pain mingled with the floral aroma, and in the center of it all stood a massive blank canvas, flanked by jars containing vibrant paints and brushes.

"I know you've been overwhelmed recently," Hyunjin told you, his demeanor quiet yet steady. "You're always taking care of everyone else, so I thought tonight...maybe I could take care of you."

His words wrapped around your heart like a warm embrace, the thoughtfulness of his gesture hitting you all at once.

"Hyunnie, this is..." You trailed off, searching for the right words.

"It's just like us," he finished for you, smiling shyly. "It's bright, but it's a little messy, too."

Your chest tightened, a rush of emotions rendering you temporarily speechless. Instead of speaking, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms tightly around him. He stiffened for just a moment before melting into the embrace, his chin resting against the top of your head.

---

As the two of you painted together, your mind wandered to all of the little moments that had brought you here - each brushstroke evoking memories that made your heart ache in the best way.

Like the time Hyunjin had dragged you on a spontaneous shopping trip.

"I need an honest opinion," he had stated, holding up two wildly different jackets; one was a sleek, leather one, and the other one was white and puffy, almost resembling a marshmallow.

You had laughed, pointing to the leather one.

"Unless you're planning on exploring the Arctic, that's the better choice." He had pouted, throwing the marshmallow jacket over his shoulder.

"But it looks so warm."

"Warm isn't fashionable."

"Warm is life-saving!"

You had spent hours wandering through stores, Hyunjin holding up ridiculous items just to make you laugh. At one point, he had placed a wide-brimmed sun hat on your head and insisted you had missed your calling as a movie star. By the end of the day, he was carrying all the bags, insisting it was his duty to do so because you were his, "voice of reason."

You also thought about the time you had gone on a road trip together and ended up having to share a bed at the hotel due to a booking error.

"This isn't weird, right?" he had asked, lying on his side as far away from you as possible.

"Not at all," you lied, though the closeness made your heart race.

The bed was small, and at some point, you had woken up to find him curled up against you, his arm slung casually over your waist. His hair had fallen into his face, and he looked so peaceful, so utterly unguarded, that you had not been able to stop yourself from brushing it back.

---

The sound of Hyunjin's laughter brought you back to the present. He was staring at the canvas, his face streaked with paint - blue on his cheek and yellow on his chin.

"This is a masterpiece," he declared, gesturing to the chaotic mix of colors and handprints covering the canvas.

"If by masterpiece you mean disaster, then yes; it is definitely a masterpiece."

"It's abstract!" he argued, smirking.

You could not help but laugh, but the sound faded when you caught the way he was staring at you - soft and lingering, as if you were the only thing that mattered in the world.

"I've missed you," he informed you, his tone much gentler. The sincerity made your throat tighten.

"I didn't mean to be distant," you admitted. "Life has just been... a lot."

"I know," he responded, his fingers moving a stray strand of hair out of your face. "But you never have to go through it alone. I'm here for you, always."

Something in the way he said it made your chest pang. For a moment, you just looked at him, taking in the softness of his features. The candlelight played in his eyes, and vulernability was etched into his expression.

"I've missed you too," you whispered.

A small smile curved his lips, and the silence stretched between you, warm and heavy with unspoken melodies. Finally, he broke the prolonged solitude.

"Can I tell you something?"

You nodded, your heart thumping in your chest.

"I don't want to be just your friend anymore," he confessed. "I want to be more."

The confession hung in the air, fragile but unwaivering.

"I want to be the person you come to when things get hard, the person who makes you laugh when you forget how to. I want to be the person you come home to."

Affectionate tears blurred your vision, and before he could say anything else, you leaned in, pressing your lips to his. The kiss was soft and tentative, but the love blooming between you was undeniable.

When you pulled back, his cheeks were flushed, his eyes filled with wonder.

"So...does this mean...?"

"It means I feel the same way," you chuckled softly.

His grin was brighter than any of the candles in the room, and when he kissed you again, it felt like the emergence of a new life you had both been dying to enter into all along.

---

Taglist: @velvetmoonlght, @amararosesblog (If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!)

[aritsukemo]

AHHHHHHH NURSED ILYSMMMM!! SERIOUSLY I DON'T DESERVE YOUR FRIENDSHIP HONESTLY :(((

So this fic was actually never supposed to be written! It was apart of a poll I did a while back and it was literally like the least chosen option I'm pretty sure. The thing is, though Furina's fic won in the end and I finished it and posted it, I had already started on this fic while waiting for the results to come in!

..And funny enough, my first intention was to make this a like super fluffy and cute fic about two imperfect, abandoned people finding peace and love within the presence of each other but uh..I listened to this sad wanderer/scaramouche pov playlist and I was like "Y'know what would be really fun.."

I wanted this fic to be a sorta piece that when you read back on it, you notice things that you didn't before! For example, did you know that this story was told in Kabukimono's pov? :) I purposely tried to avoid telling any of the scenes through Y/n's eyes because this story was meant to show negligence. Y/n's feelings are deep-rooted, he was an outcast at a very young age and had a bunch of horrible things happen to him throughout his life. He's long had mental gripes and issues, Kabukimono just never noticed it until it was too late. He only saw Y/n in this fixed lens and the lake scene where he was making the flower crown was the first time he actually saw a glimpse Y/n as what he truly was!

As mean as it is, I wanted Kabukimono to be completely useless to the situation at hand. To me, who wrote this loosely to reference 1800 - 1900 Japan, I was thinking, "Why would Kabukimono be able to pick up on signs of depression?" Throughout the story, Y/n did and said things that showed that something was wrong but they were blatantly yet unintentionally ignored and when everything hit the fan, Kabukimono truly did not help Y/n. My intention is not to make Kabukimono a bad person, it was to moreso show how innocent actions and a sheltered mindset can be just as detrimental as having a conniving one...if that makes any lick of sense.

ALSOOOO I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THE LITTLE STORY ABOUT THE LAKE AND THE VILLAGE!! IT WAS AN INPROMPTU DECISION THAT ENDED UP STAYING- 😭 IT'S ALSO HOW I CAME UP WITH THE ENDING SO THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS!!

AND OMGOSH??? YOU GETTING INSPIRED TO WRITE A PT. 2 OF SOMETHING I WROTE?? I'M HONORED???

Seriously though I'd LOVE it if you wrote a pt. 2 to this, I'd def peep! I plan to make my own pt. 2 eventually, but you know how that goes.. Knowing me, it won't be here any time soo I'm not gonna lie- 😓

THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS!! I FEEL SO SPOILED!! 😖

The Oddities of Human Nature | Kabukimono

Kabukimono x Feminine Male Reader

Warnings: Wooo, where do we start? Major character death ( Reader ), implied suicide ( It's up in arms, but there are hints in the fic that reader may have drowned themselves in a lake ), self harm implied, sexual assault is loosely referenced ( only one sentence mentions it and I don't go into detail at all as to not trigger anyone ), themes of depression is referenced all throughout this fic, lots of blood is mentioned towards the end and I go into depth ( or try to ) in describing death so gore warning, the timeline is all fucked up but for the sake of the fic making sense, this takes place before Wanderer's three betrayals, reader uses they/him pronouns, finally, long story ( around 10k words ) under the cut. With all that said, happy reading!

A/N: This was a big hill for me to cross, but I'm glad I managed to do it! I juggled a lot of elements that I'm not familiar with so I'm sorry if this is all over the place. That aside, I found that a lot of the songs I listened while I was writing matched this fic pretty well! ( ..I also realized out that I maaaayyy have spilled a a little bit of myself and my personal struggles into Y/n, but don't read into that too much, okay? Okay. ) This fic is on the darker side of what I normally write, but I hope all who peep will enjoy themselves! :D ...Now I'ma go finish this finals project I got before I fuck up my grade-

Tagging: @nursedflowers / @kazusys, and @saioratral

Humans are odd creatures. They do things that may otherwise inconvenience them for absolutely no reason.

They could have a broken leg, but will still find the time to entertain friends by going out. They could be holed up in their room doing important work, but will still stop and greet their beloved when they arrive home. They could stumble upon a body in a lake and still fish it out and attempt to resuscitate it. It's strange, but what's even stranger are those humans. You know, the ones who would do things like that for a complete stranger without batting an eye.

"Are you alright?" A soft chirp echoed—one like a feather that surprisingly didn't get swept away by the harsh winds.

It was nothing like her voice.

Upon looking up, indigo hues fill with intricate floral patterns weaved delicately in a circle. Its varying colors twist and intertwine, filling the circle and providing shade and leaving those who fall under it to marvel at its beauty—which didn't soil or gray despite the downpour of rain that hit it.

That said, having been completely consumed in the art of the umbrella, it took another soft call to snap out of the trance..only to be sucked right back into it upon gazing up.

 "I noticed that you have been sitting in the rain for quite some time now. That isn't healthy, you know?" Their voice matched their features; smooth like a porcelain doll, but not nearly as tough as one; gentle, just like the silk that covered their body.

 "Do you have nowhere to go?" Upon hearing the question, the boy’s lips—which were formerly tucked into a neat line—dipped. It was unnoticeable against his pale skin, but the tender eyes that stared down at him seemed to be sharp like a hawks' and noticed it right away.

 "I suppose that means yes."

Their hand reached out to him after saying that and he found himself leaning away instinctively, making him susceptible to the sky's sorrow which drowned his already slick hair in even more chilling rain.

He's immediately saved again, and this time, he was able to watch his savior in action as they tilt their hand, tilting their gorgeous artwork forward enough to completely shield him again albeit at the cost of their own protection.

The rain took pleasure in dousing their hair, deepening it's color a little from the sheer amount it intakes. Ultimately, it's unable to take all of it and falls down on all sides, dripping down their skin, their eyelashes, nose, and lips, to where all the water meets at a point at their chin and drops from it to the wet soil at their feet like a leaky faucet.

Nevertheless, he watched a smile stretch across their face. A sight that he had begun to believe could only look so beautiful on a wandering snow spirit.

 "Please, young sir. Come with me. I have a place that could shield the both of us from the rain for the night.."

And in a trance, he—though tentatively—reaches forward and puts his hand in theirs. The warmth that touched him in that moment immediately shattered the illusion that hypnotized him and he blinks upon finding himself being tugged along by the hand. It brought on a perplexed swirl in the abyss he called a stomach and spurred him to ask the golden question, "Why are you doing this?"

And that question earned him another golden smile, unfortunately only for a quick second when they glanced back at him. It was never answered, and despite that, it didn't bother him.

Nothing did in that moment as the only thing he could focus on was the heat that spread throughout his hand which radiated from their palm.

Humans are odd creatures. They go against the purposes given to them at birth for the simplest reasons.

 "You're a man?" Was the question that filled the silence, his words filled with his almost accusing tone at the face of their casual confession.

You didn't mind, putting on the smile of a saint as tanzanite hues scrutinize and judge you as if you were some complex painting in a museum.

 "Yes, I am," You answered simply, and he once again, eyes you up and down with eyes full of disbelief. As if you had just revealed that you had a second head or something. You weren't offended. Compared to the other stares you've been given in the past, his seemed rather merciful.

 "Why do you dress like that if you're a boy?" He asks after a while; another rather offensive question that he asks with utmost innocence.

 "Because it makes me feel nice," You reply simply, and to that, your new friend looked utterly perplexed. As if you had just given him intricate, complex instructions on how to defeat the shogunate. From that reaction, you assume he was probably raised in a rather conformist household.

That said, his genuine confusion felt like a breath of cool air hitting your face after venturing days in a scorching desert, as sad as that is to admit.

 "Where are your weapons? Your armor? Your mannerisms and speech let me know you come from a noble home, so where are your servants and concubine? What do you do for work?" He shot out questions as if he only had a few grains of sand left in his hourglass. It was like he feared that if he didn't ask all his questions now—and all at once—he'd never get an answer to them. Not that you'd be so cruel as to leave your curious new acquaintance so bewildered.

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but I don't have any such means of protection," You start off slowly, but as your eyes trail down at the two needles in your slender hands—needles which had thin threads of silk woven around the points of them—you found yourself chuckling to yourself, "Though if you'd ask my father, he'd tell you that my reason for that is because I lack the determination and courage to tread the path of a proper warrior — He was a high-ranking samurai for the majority of my youth, you see.."

"As for the servants and..consorts…they're really not my thing. I find bossing someone around and using people to flaunt my own status and wealth to be rather brutish. Though, I will admit I'm quite familiar with the practices. Heh, I was practically raised by my fathers' wives and female servants growing up. Maybe that's why.."

You pause, and in the end, you shake your thought away instead of voicing the rest of it aloud. It wasn't important to the conversation at hand anyways.

 "Digressing from that, my ways of making money aren't as noble as my family's either. In fact, one would say it's quite pitiful in comparison; once a week, I go out into the nearby town and I sell my creations. Stuffed animals, knitted clothing, excess crops, and the like. I don't make all the money in the world, but I make more than enough to get by as you can see," And you flick your wrist absentmindedly at one of the corners of your room, mindlessly gesturing at whatever filled the space to better prove your point.

Your guest had been struck silent once again. It seemed he was still rather muddled. You understand it. Like many you've encountered, you were probably an enigma to him, one willing to go against all that has been taught and practiced for centuries just because of simple ideations and pleasures that someone such as yourself should never enjoy in the first place.

..Or so you thought. As you gazed up at your guest, his face made you unsure of what he was truly thinking at that moment. It was something you hadn't seen before—unlike those judge-filled, disgusted, and even pitiful gazes you had been given by many in the past. It sparked your curiosity, causing you to ask him the golden question that had laid dormant at the back of your mind.

 "Does any of this.. Do I bother you?"

His response came delayed, but you found his answer that came more valuable than actual gold. More relieving than any cool breeze or sweet treat. More rewarding than any war won or title granted. More comforting than any of the stormy nights that distracted you from your whirlwind of thoughts.

And, oddly enough, such a response was quite simple. Only three words, in fact.

 "Not at all."

Humans are odd creatures, but they can be patient and forgiving at times. Plus, being the warm-blooded creatures that are allows them the blessing of a naturally-warm, comfortable body.

 "Crap," The cursed utterance left the lips of a mouth who's felt nothing but the bitter tang of frustration coat its tongue all afternoon. The uncivilized profanity did nothing to soothe the taste in his mouth nor did it smoothen out the crinkles made by his furrowed brows. It didn't even relieve the tremble of anger in his blood-pricked hands or the aggression of his movements as his fingertips worked a string of tangles with the needles he was holding.

Knitting is awful. How do people find this relaxing? Ever since he's started, he's felt nothing but vexation, pain, and embarrassment! Not only that, but he's made zero progress after so long that he's practically forgotten what he was supposed to be making in the first place! He hates—no, despises this with his entire being!

 "Having a bit of trouble?" He heard you ask, and somehow, half of his stress fell away like a slab of rock on the side of a mountain just from hearing your voice. He doesn't get why you have such powers over him seeming as you're a complete stranger. ..Was your voice charmed by some kind of magic perhaps? Were you possibly a god in disguise?

Whatever the reason was, he found himself praying that you never stop talking if he were to ever find out.

 "Here, let me show you a trick," Your breath was fanning his ear before he knew it and your skin was warming his shortly afterwards. He froze in place, still and quiet unlike the noisy rainwater he can hear descending from the skies outside—the rain that has kept him trapped here for literal days now.

He's not complaining.

It was only when your palms found place against the back of his hands that his body relaxed. Your hands were soft unlike the many generals and the blacksmiths he had met before his forced abandonment of his previous life. It felt nice. As if flower petals were cradling his hands.

You smelt just as good as a flower too. He had never been this close to you before so he hadn't noticed it, but now that his back is to you like this..it was as if he was laying in a flowerbed.

Do men always smell this good? He doubts it. Most likely, this scent was completely unique. A fragrance only you could naturally produce. Archons does he wish—

 "—and that's how you do it," He blinks, snapping back to reality where he stares down at the cloth now weaved together with expert precision to form a bunny's ear.

You had helped him make a breakthrough at last..and he had been too busy daydreaming about how it would feel to be hugged by you to watch and learn how you even did it.

..But he doesn't feel regret looming when the realization comes nor does his annoyance return. Or maybe it has and it just hasn't set in yet. He can't tell right now, not when he's feeling as if he had just been warmed by the sun after being frozen for a millennia.

 "Alright, now you try," He hears your words, but they don't process as fast as your hands leaving him does. Nothing really processes quicker than that. Not his frown. Not his disappointment. Not anything.

But not processing something doesn't make it unclear to others. Upon seeing his downcast expression, your brows quirk up in confusion.

 "Is there something on your mind, my new friend?" You inquired, but your question is never answered. Instead, you watch as his saddened eyes turn owlish and his head spins in the opposite direction of you as he mutters something under his breath.

 "I'm sorry, but can you repeat that?" You asked softly, leaning closer in order to hear him better.

 "Can you..show me how to do that again. Please.." He repeated, and in doing so earned the harmonious gift that was your chuckle and the warmth of your hands on him once again.

 "Sure. So what you do is.."

Humans are odd creatures. They'd sacrifice countless hours of their already short life, go to ridiculous lengths doing things, and even put aside their fragile well being to do things that are completely irrelevant just because of their belief that what they do will make someone happy.

 "I'm back!" The sweet chirp of your new housemate—which you and the villagers of the neighboring town have begun to call Kabukimono— echoed through the small abode of your now shared home after not having the pleasure to in about three days or so.

After moving in a week prior, Kabukimono had been adamant on pulling his own weight to prove that he was worth keeping around despite you having the compassion to allow him to be a freeloader otherwise. That said, after your own clumsiness in the field left you with a sprained ankle, your kind new friend had offered to go out and sell all of this week’s goods on your behalf and how could you refuse such an offer when he looked so happy and eager to help out little ol' you?

Well, the real answer to that was that he gave you no choice in the matter, but you digress.

 "I'm in here," He heard you call from the kitchen and he immediately set off in that direction, just barely remembering to slip off his shoes at the door from how eager he was to see you.

If it wasn't obvious already, it had taken some time—both the journey to and from the village and the actual process of conversing with people and getting them to buy everything—but he believes he did pretty good. At the very least, everything was sold. He even managed to make enough to buy you something with some of the excess money!

 "Y/n! I got—! ..Huh?" His words died as quickly as his pace as he stilled to a full halt at the entryway. His eyes grew wide bit by bit as he took everything in.

Banners of silk and thread had been strung along the walls, flashing their abstract patterns of blue and purple at anyone who'd spare a glance. Candles—which are usually set alight atop your nightstand and bookshelf in our room—now clumped and coddled on the table like one big sun with the varying foods surrounding them posing as the stars that helped light up the wooden sky they sat on.

But such a beautiful display was only given a moment's glance as Kabukimono seemed more interested in what you thought was a less-than-average sight; yourself.

Nevertheless, the adoration you felt seeing the sparkle of surprise in his eyes—even if for only a second or so—made you crack a smile as you recited the line you had gone over just about a million times during the time you spent waiting for him to arrive.

 "Welcome home, Kabukimono."

He was at a loss for words and not for the reason you wanted him to be. With the intent of easing his perturbed shock, you walked towards him, steady and slow, but all that proved to do was snap him out of the spell your heavy eyebags and dreary, drooping eyes had put him under.

 "What is all of this? And more importantly, why are you standing? You're not supposed to be putting pressure on that ankle!" He quickly met you the rest of the way, and to your dismay, he had beat you to the comforting, his hands shooting out to grip you by the hips and ease your bandaged leg of your body's weight.

Ignoring his other questions, you began explaining, telling him, "It's a celebration feast. You told me yourself that you, along with not having a name, you haven’t had a home to call yours yet. I thought it would be good to make an occasion out of you finding one at last."

Kabukimono felt bad to admit this even in his own head, but your words were going in one ear and out the other. Yes, he had asked, but you weren't giving him answers to the other questions he simply found more important at the moment, and because of that, it caused his face to look rather tense. Certainly not cheery like you had hoped.

It seems you have made a mistake. It wasn't a surprise, it was you after all, but the thought still hurt considering how much time it took preparing for this moment.

And so, in an attempt to lighten your thoughts and the overall mood, you ask him, "Aren't you happy?"

And unfortunately, your dear housemate didn't answer in the way you had wished he would, instead replying with, "Why would I? You look like you're about to drop dead!"

 "I'm fine," You said; a futile attempt of reassurance when you probably looked like a Sumerian Akademiya student who just finished pulling an all-nighter to write a one-hundred page research paper.

 "As if!" Kabukimono said. That's when he slung your arm over his shoulder, forcing your bodyweight onto him without your permission, and began trudging you along in the direction of your room.

 "What're you doing—" "Taking you to your room so you can lie down like you probably haven't been doing!"

 "Seriously, you should take better care of yourself! Don't tell me this is normal for you.. If it is, I won't be able to let you out of my sight from now on!"

In the end, both the feast and Kabukimono's gift for you had been forgotten. Even though you ended up enjoying it later, your sadness about the initial surprise being ruined was hard to get over even with the delight of a new hairpin being added to your collection..

Humans are odd creatures. Their inability to do much makes them become overawed by the simplest things. Their eyes shine just from seeing a coin flipped in an unorthodox way and they clap and gasp watching the stars twinkle overhead. It’s so nice to see stupid.

 “You know how to dance?” The excitable question left your usually composed lips as you stared at Kabukimono with stars in your eyes.

 “Well...I used to perform sword dances so I suppose yes,” He clarifies, arms crossed as he stared off at the wall to his left with full interest. His azure eyes darkened as if someone had pulled wool over them only to light up like a room to an oil lamp at the question that followed his response.

 “Can you show me?” The way you asked him reminded him of a little kid asking their mother to buy them a toy; full of innocent expectancy. It made his lips thin into a line just hearing it.

It had been ages since he’s danced, and in the past, there weren’t many who gawked at or praised him for his moves. Not his mother. Not any of her servants or soldiers. Certainly not her familiar. At the time, he hadn’t cared about their reactions much at all, seeming as the purpose of his dancing wasn’t for frivolous entertainment, but you, however, were different. You weren’t his mother who had abandoned him. You weren’t the servants or soldiers who never spoke to him. You aren’t his mother’s glaring familiar. You’re you, and the thought of seeing such a lackluster expression painted on your face puts a bad taste in his mouth. It makes him gnaw at his bottom lip from the feeling of a wave rocking unsteadily in his stomach cavity. It made him feel..anxious.

 “Ah..” His mouth felt like chalk—uncomfortably dry—as he spoke and his eyes couldn’t remove themselves from the walls he was surely burning holes into with his nervous glare as he tried to find something—anything—to refute you. He, at last, does and sputters it out in an uneven tone, “But..you aren’t going into battle though.”

You hum in acknowledgement, and for a moment, he thought he could successfully negate you from the topic, but then your lips move to say, “Sword dances are to summon strength, right? Though they’re performed for battles, war isn’t the only thing that requires strength. Farming, cooking.. Even getting out of bed in the mornings needs some strength to complete. When put in that way, don’t you think I’m in need of just as much strength as one of the Shogunate’s men?”

 “We- Well, a typical sword dance requires a sword and a fan and we don’t have anything like that lying around the house,” He shoots out. His brows knitting at the odd feeling of his skin damp with moisture he wasn’t aware he could produce before now.

 “I do have a fan,” You retort, “It’s mainly preserved for hot weather, but it'd be perfect for this occasion! And for the sword..ah! Would a wooden stilt suffice? It’s a little longer than the typical sword, but if I were to shave it down a bit..”

 “I..” He looks at you, face uncharacteristically spooked as he repeats himself, sounding like a broken record at this point, “I.. I..” but you don’t pay it much mind as your excitement gets the better of you and you chalk up his reaction as pre-performance jitters before running to find the items needed, leaving Kabukimono no choice but to watch helplessly like some baby kitten.

In the matter of an hour, he was outside. His body donning one of your many creations while holding a summer fan and wooden stick that didn’t come close to matching anything he was wearing. You—smile etched on your face despite feeling as though you were being stabbed all over—sat a little aways from him on the white cushions that had completely covered the green grass, patiently yet eagerly awaiting for the invisible curtains to rise and for his feet to begin to move.

Despite the biting cold, his hands were slick with sweat, forcing him to grip the wood and fan with inhumane force as to not drop it. His breath came out thick and labored, freezing over immediately upon leaving his lips and ultimately coming out as puffy, white clouds. His only saving grace here was that his feet were firmly planted into the dirt circle you paved out just for his little show. It was even rid of the transparent icy layer; an astonishing feat to be done in so little time.

Even from where he stood, he could see the reddening of your face and hands. The slight tremble of your limbs.. You were freezing to death, that much was certain, but you didn’t care. That’s just how adamant you were to see him perform.

And so, feeling as though he had no other choice, he began. His feet started to glide, starting slow as did his arms—languid and mesmerizing—before it began to pick up just a little whenever he’d twirl or spin or hop. He was sure his movements were sloppy, that his improvision to the original dance he was taught shone through like a stain to white cloth..but as he snuck a glance your way, he found himself uncaring.

..Because the way you looked at him was as if you were gazing up at a god who had just saved your life; amazement brightened your hues like comets in the sky as you followed his every move, utterly enraptured by him. He had managed to evoke that from you. Only him.

Ironically, he had found he himself charmed by your expression and microexpressions. Completely hypnotized as he slid and flowed around the small circle, his clothing–the clothing you had gifted to him—fluttering like angel wings which only further added to the beauty of each swing he took with the stick.

But alas, as the dance went on, Kabukimono found himself going into autopilot. Simply going about the motions as he took every chance possibly to glance your way, his eyes like a distant memory—a past life—whenever they locked with yours..

Humans are odd creatures. Deceptive by nature too. Without a perceptive gaze and trained ears to catch onto their lies, they could make you believe anything as the truth.

 "Hey, Kabukimono, could you pass me the carrots I cut up over there?" You asked, using your head to gesture over in the direction of where you had left the cut carrots on the low table. Kabukimono jumped to your request; crossing the kitchen, picking up the bowl, and walking back over to where you sat comfortably at the kotatsu in record time.

He hands it to you, and with a flick of your wrists, the orange delicacies had joined the rest of the vegetables in the boiling pot on the table. Kabukimono sits back on his knees as you do this, taking comfort in propping his elbow up on the wooden surface before laying his head on his fist as he watches the slow travel of white steam erupt from the pot into the air. His eyes like staring on like a dormant beast at the boiling vegetables crackling as he sighs dreamily at the smell of heaven they produce.

He didn't need to eat. He had told you that at some point in time along with other things, and yet, you had somehow trained him to yearn for food regardless—to salivate when he saw a tasty-looking dish and even grow excited at the thought of what to cook for dinner. It was such a mundane thing that was once so foreign to him. Such a human pleasure and yet he so eagerly partook in it regardless. All because of you. All for you.

Another thing he does because of you now is small talk. Before, if there were silence between him and another person he'd embrace it without a second thought and wouldn't leave that comfort unless forced to—and even then, only a select few would actually elicit a response from him. Nowadays though, it seems he grows quite restless whenever words aren't filling the air. Though, this applied more so with you than anyone else.

 "How did it go in town?" He asked, "You were selling those new cat-shaped stuffed toys you worked yourself ragged making..so? Did anybody like them?"

To such a simple question, your reaction was bewildering. The way your grip tightened on the ladle, the narrowing of your eyes and brows, the tut of your lip.. It all gave a bad vibe.

And so he frowned and asked, "Did they not like them after all? ..Or did something—"

 "It's nothing," And you presented him a closed-eyed smile, both your expression and your grip on the ladle relaxing as you went on to further say, "I just..thought about this girl I met at the villager. I assume she was an orphan from her attire and the way she followed me around without a care.. Anyways, she ended up tripping and hurting her knee pretty badly so I gave her one of the cat plushies, free of charge.”

 "Anyways, the food is ready so let's drop this topic. After all, we don't want it to get cold," The topic changed as suddenly as it came. Odd, seeming as how you're usually rambling all afternoon and evening about your travel to the village, sparing absolutely no detail about even the tiniest things.

The thought lingered for a time, but as he watched you stuff your mouth and saw your eyes shine joyously at the wonderful flavor that coated your tongue as you began to ramble about your relief about the dish turning out good despite this being your first time trying out the recipe, that thought eventually fluttered away with the wind that came through the crack in your sliding doors that allowed more of the evening oranges and yellows to seep into your home.

You were probably just really hungry and eager to eat, he thought as he finally took a bite of the potato he had picked up with his chopsticks, his eyes closing as he hummed out in delight at the taste.

Unbeknownst to him, your face dropped as soon as his eyes closed, your eyes uncharacteristically fogged and dull, as if it were displaying the thick fog that shrouded your mind, your thoughts, your heart. It was a fog that Kabukimono never caught on to, blissfully unaware of what stained your mind, body, and soul.

Humans are odd creatures. Their outside appearance never matches how they feel or the thoughts that poison their mind. They never voice those thoughts either, making it impossible to guess what’s truly going on with them. There are some who’d bless you with a morsel of their inner world—give you a crumb of the turmoil that constantly leaks in their head—making you feel as though you’ve truly come to understand them when in reality, you haven’t even scratched the surface.

It was the middle of the night. The once navy blue sky that had overcasted the world when the sun first fell was now dark due to even the stars going into hiding to slumber, leaving the moon as the only beacon of light to shed away the shadows. It was pitch black everywhere you turned and cicadas buzzed loudly outside, likely complaining about the sweltering heat of the summer, making it impossible to even hear yourself think. It was like some mundane hell.

So why were you out here?

It happened by chance. He had heard some odd noises and went to investigate it. Not expecting to see a silhouette walking out of the door. Thinking it was some thief, he followed after the person, and as the sounds of the cicadas grew distant and an earthy smell invaded his nostrils, the silhouette became less and less obscure. Becoming as clear as day by the time the person had reached their destination.

That person was you.

 “..What is this place?” The question came tumbling out before he could stop himself, his words loudly piercing the quiet of the night. It alerts you of his presence at long last and has your head spinning in his direction.

 “Oh.. It’s just you, Kabukimono’.. Heh, you scared me,” You said. Your head turns forward once again as you force your shoulders to relax, allowing the basket on your back to slide down your arms and to the ground. As you slowly set yourself atop the gentle grass, Kabukimono takes a step forward. Then another, and another, until he’s right beside you, who was digging for the items in the basket.

After a moment of silence allows you to, at last, gather everything needed out of the basket, Kabukimono decides to ask his question once again..or he planned to. As he opens his mouth to let his words free, your voice breaks the silence.

 “There used to be a small village here,” You told him, your hands beginning to twist two long stocks together, “If you go the opposite way of the path we usually tread, you can still find the remnants of what it used to be.”

 “The village's main source used to be this lake. Everyone relied on it for everything. To drink, to cook, to bathe.. Even some of the oddest ways of entertainment came from here..” You laughed, but it was drier than any desert depicted in the novels in your room. It felt wrong to hear—kinda like hearing a baby’s cry come from a grown man—and it felt almost unnerving to have it come from someone like you, who he’s come to associate with the sun itself.

But you were probably really tired. Looking at you, the deep bags that hang your eyelids down indicates you probably haven’t gotten much sleep lately which makes sense seeming as you’ve been running around and, as you told him, ‘preparing’ for something really important.

He wonders what it is you’re preparing for. Whenever he’d ask, he’d never get an answer..

 “This lake, though bound by the earth to this one place, saved that village so many times that the townsfolk began to believe that some powerful being was secretly living in the depths of it and protecting them. They began to idolize it, nurture and take care of it, and spoke about it as if this little lake was some otherworldly deity which created tall tales and legends that they’d go on to tell their children…believe it or not, I once took part in such absurdity.”

 “So..what happened to the village?” Kabukimono hesitates to ask. After all, the obvious context clues pointed him in a tragic direction, but he couldn’t resist his own curiosity in the end. Not when the look in your eyes—that were lit by the lantern of the water’s ripples—reflected nothing but pure sorrow.

At his question, you took a glance his way. As you broke away from the lake that practically glowed in the moonlight, your eyes were stripped of the illuminating gleam of the waves and casted into the darkness of the night. In fact, if it weren’t for the lake, he probably wouldn’t have been able to see your face at all.

Part of him wished that had happened. If it did, he wouldn’t have been forced to stare into the abyss that had overtook your hues for those small handful of seconds.

 “The lake failed them,” You finally spoke shortly after returning your gaze to the water, “A fire of unknown origins enveloped it in the dead of night. It wiped out half the village and forced the other half to flee for safety..some of which came to me, who lived on the outskirts of town.”

 “No one knew how it started. After all, fire wasn’t anywhere close to being the most accessible resource they had. It was a luxury, even. It also never spread past the village and by sunrise, it ceased to exist altogether. The oddity of the situation made the survivors believe that it was some punishment from their lake deity,” As you went on, you had been weaving the strands until one end had connected to the other in a circle—though your sloppy craftsmanship caused it to look more like an oval in your opinion.

As eyesore of a sight it was, you persisted. Your hands reach for the clipped flowers beside you, "That thought clouded their minds and the thought of disappointing their all-forgiving god drove them mad,” Kabukimono watched as you spoke, sticking flowers in one by one and twisting it into the circle, making the dank green pop with each pristine white you carefully placed around it.

 “Convinced that it was their fault everything was lost, the surviving villagers went about the rest of their days repenting by praying to the lake from sun up to sun down...until the waters rose and they disappeared while being enveloped by the deity's embrace."

The story seemed like something straight out of a fairytale. Nonsensical like a myth that he usually wouldn't believe...but the same could be said about his very existence. With that in mind, who is he to be so narrow-minded? He decided to keep his thoughts to himself, locking them tight behind his lips as you continued.

 "The lake failed them. It made a fatal mistake. Saved not one villager from that fire, yet nothing changed. Not their love nor their devotion..if anything it only made them see this lake in an even more divine light...so why didn't the same happen for me?"

The tail end of your sentence made him perk up with unease and as his brows knitted together, Kabukimono opens his mouth as he worriedly asked—or rather, attempted to ask, “What do you mean—” but you shifted the topic faster than he could get the full sentence out.

 “ Do you remember the tales I would tell you about my childhood—my brother specifically? ..I ran into him some time ago while I was out selling in the village.”

 “Whether they wanted to seize from me the goods I was selling that day—or perhaps mistook me for a woman and wanted to have their fun with me as some men have in the past—they began harassing me quite aggressively,” You started, “They bothered me for quite awhile and grew progressively violent the more I tried to politely get them to leave me be—one of them even snatched me up by the wrist. That’s when he intervened.”

 “He didn’t recognize me, not that I’d expect him to. After all, I’ve changed a lot since we were kids..and it seems the same went for him as well,” After placing all the whites of innocence, you went on to grab your smaller, yellow sundrops, your hands meticulously working them in between the white flowers as you continued talking in a cheerful tone. 

 “Though it’s only been a decade or so since I’d last seen or spoken to him, he’s already been through so much. He told me himself, you see, that he had just returned from the war and was passing through villages trying to find a suitable gift.. Can you guess for what?”

 “I don’t know..maybe your parents?” Kabukimono guessed; the wrong answer. You didn’t give him another chance to theorize.

 “It was for his wife and daughter,” You corrected, and if once wasn’t enough, you repeat yourself, “He was returning home to his wife and four year old daughter and wanted to get them something special.”

Gaining the courage once again, Kabukimono attempted to question the point of this conversation in the first place by asking, “What’s wrong with that?” He grew hopeful at first when you allowed him to get his words out. Maybe, at last, he could get his questions answered, he thought.

He thought wrong.

 “He’s really tall now, you know? —I mean, he was always taller than me, but now he’s like a tree! When we spoke face to face, I had to crane my neck all the way back to look up at him,” His question is, once again, ignored as if he never asked it. He began to frown, not liking the thought of you possibly ignoring him, but that crease in his skin quickly grew less prominent when he caught a glimpse of your joyful smile.

 “He’s also got big muscles and a handsome smile,” You add, “That paired with his headstrong, chivalric nature..I’m not surprised that he’s made a name for himself and started a family in such a short time,” Your voice then drops to a murmur as you turn you creation left then right, inspecting it as said, “In only a small handful of years, he’s achieved someone’s dream and so much more.. He’s managed to exceed even the impossible and make everyone proud..he’s truly amazing..”

You grasp at pink petals—deteriorated by the chilling weather—as you fit them as you see fit. Filling in each space like a piece of a puzzle.

 “That encounter made me think back to the lake. It made me realize how similar we are. We’re both fragile and delicate and were surrounded by people who’d still expect us to give away our bones despite already relinquishing our flesh and blood…so what went wrong with me?”

 “Wh.. What?” He stammered. You lift your handiwork into the air, presenting it to the moon for judgement before you finally repeat yourself..

 “What went wrong? I made mistakes just like the lake, so why wasn’t I given the benefit of the doubt? Why did my family–my father–abandon me?”

Abandon. That word stuck to him like a burn to his skin and it felt as if he had just opened his eyes for the first time in a century. It made him realize all the little things at last; how tense the air was, how dim your eyes were, how often your brows twitched, how your eyes seemed like glass balls, how forced your smile seemed.. The illusion he had absorbed himself shattered in that instant, allowing reality to set in like a heavy weight. The person who sat beside him, the one who he’s come to view as the sun that brightened up his day, had looked so different in that moment that he could mistake them for an entirely different person. Did they always look like that? If so, for how long? How long has his sun been this dim? And why didn’t he notice it sooner?

 “I’m sorry, that was cruel of me to ask you that,” You profess in a raspy whisper before turning to him, plopping the finished product—a tri-colored flower crown—atop his head as you mutter, “There’s no way you can answer that.. It was my mistake..”

Kabukimono blinks, his eyes looking up as he tries to peer at the crown to no avail. It was like watching a kitten play with a toy; adorable. Kabukimono didn’t catch it, but upon seeing such a cute sight, you bit down on your bottom lip as your eyes narrowed—damn nea glaring—his way. Luckily, you catch yourself before he notices, trying to laugh it off as you look over at the lake once more. Though your laugh was even drier than the previous one that left your lips and came tumbling out of your mouth like gravel.

 “You know, you remind me so much of my brother,” You said, “You have so much potential to live whatever life you want, to make everyone happy and still keep yourself intact..I almost envy you.”

Kabukimono—hands delicately tracing the rim of the flower crown on his head—grimaced at your comment. Envy. Such a negative feeling to harbor towards him and for no reason at all. After all, he’s nothing special. If he was, surely she wouldn’t have discarded him and left him to rot alone. Alas, before he can tell you that, you started rambling again.

 “I used to make mistakes all the time when I was younger. Especially with swords,” You told him, though it looked more like you were talking to the lake at your knees by the way you were so intently gazing at it, “I just couldn’t get the hang of it. That applied to a lot of things my father tried to teach me… Heh, it makes sense why he gave up on trying after my brother was born.”

 “Wh- What are you saying..?” Kabukimono asked. It came out as a hoarse whisper that was easily carried away by the warm winds and far away from your ears. Hence why you continued instead of answering, surely.

 “You asked me once about the story behind how my obsession for knitting came about.. Why I enjoy it so much.. Well, the reason I never told you was because the truth is quite silly in hindsight; it was to apologize to my father.”

 “I felt sorry for him. After all, his oldest son—who was supposed to carry on and lift a weight off his shoulders–was completely hopeless in every way. I truly did feel bad..and so I thought the least I could do was ease his mind—to reassure him that his useless son could do something right.”

 “You shouldn’t talk about yourself like that–” “After keenly watching my mother sew clothes and observing the female servants make clothing they could otherwise not afford, I was able to do something out of these impractical hands..” You held your hands up and kabukimono winces at the sight. They look like the aftermath of an intense fight, scars—some new, some old—littered your skin, some even stained it with the ugly dark crust that forms when the skin begins to heal. Did they always look that way? “Would you like to know what I made?”

 “I– I’m not—” “I made a fox. A tiny little fox attached to a string,” You said, “I thought it would be cute if he would tie it around the hilt of his sword and carry it around — similar to how one would a good luck charm. I was so excited when I finally finished and ran straight to my father's dojo on the far edge of our home to show it to him.”

 “Y/n–” “At the sight of my creation, my father frowned so deeply I thought his face would become permanently creased by it. ‘Is this what you waste your idle time doing?’ he asked me before cutting my little fox to shreds. ‘No wonder you’ve become such a disappointment! You sit around knitting animals instead of dedicating yourself to training!’ he went on to say.”

 “He went to grumbling under his breath after that. He kept his voice low, but I still heard what he said.. Wanna guess? He said—”

 “Y/n, stop!” The sound of shuffling of him as he stumbles to his feet is loud—though small in comparison to the boom of his scream. You pause, surprised albeit you barely show it—or rather, you’re barely able to force yourself to react—only being able to slowly blink his way in the end as you stare up at your darling housemate, who’s pretty eyes had welled up with tears.

 Stop..please..” He pleaded. A sniffle pushing him past the line of embarrassment, causing him to hide his face from you, “I- I beg of you.. Don’t say another word..not if you plan to degrade yourself like this!”

 “..Kabukimono, don’t..—” He hears you call from the other side of the barrier he created between the two of you, but he’s finally quicker, interrupting you for the first time tonight.

 “Your family abandoned you, but that helped you find your way to me,” He choked, “They didn’t see your worth for what it truly was..but that allowed me to! Who cares what they think of you? How they perceive you? They aren’t in your life anymore, I am! So stop talking down on yourself like they are!” With every word that leaves his lips—that seep through the unseen slits between his fingers—Kabukimono seems to crack more and more until he falls apart, collapsing to the ground in a fit of sobs which causes the flower crown to fall ungracefully off his head.

 “I- I’m in your life now, and I don’t care what you’re good or bad at! I don’t have any expectations for you to meet! It doesn’t matter if you don’t meet society’s standards! I don’t care about any of that. I just want to stay by your side! Isn’t that enough? Aren’t I enough?”

 “Kabukimono..” You call. A moment of silence passes and a chime of bells in the form of your choked sobs fill his ears as you snivel, “No.. No, no— I- I'm sorry. Don’t cry, please don’t cry..”

He suddenly feels the warmth of your arms surrounding his kneeled being and he finds himself crying harder to the point every sorrowful yell and sniffle rattled his entire body. You had wrapped your arms around him in an attempt to comfort him, but it was rather pitiful and futile, seeming as you were sobbing yourself, repeating, “Sorry.. I’m so sorry..” over and over like it was your matra.

You two stayed like that; sobbing amongst the serene sound of the water until it drowned you two out altogether. After some time, your loud croaks had been reduced to weak whimpering—though if the reason for that was because your voice grew too hoarse to form proper words or another reason was unclear.

Neither of you cared, or at least, Kabukimono didn’t. All that he cared about was the feeling of being tangled in your arms and the sound of your heartbeat singing in his ear—which he had pressed against your chest.

 “Promise me,” He whispered, his voice rasp, “Promise me that you’ll be honest with me from now on. A- And promise me not to degrade yourself anymore..that you won’t think about the past..all of it. I want you to promise me that you’ll move on..with me,” He clutched at your kimono, crumpling the flowers on it with his grip as he awaited your response with bated breath.

And when you finally did—when you finally mumbled your response and in the exact way he wanted you to—he felt as though the sun had finally come out again, better and brighter than before..

 “I promise.”

Humans are odd creatures. They’re treacherous liars by nature who spew falsehoods for the sake of their own twisted amusement, uncaring of those affected by their games.

 “There was once a small village here. If you go the opposite way of the path we usually tread, you can still find the remnants of what it used to be.”

It’s been two weeks since you left for the village to sell goods. You still hadn’t returned.

It’d usually take no more than a few days for you to sell everything and come home, so after said days had passed and you were nowhere to be seen, he grew worried and—in the end—went to the village in search of you.

..But you weren’t there either. In fact, from what he gathered from asking around, you had left the village days ago.

 “The village's main source used to be this lake. Everyone relied on it for everything. To drink, to cook, to bathe.. Even some of the oddest ways of entertainment came from here..”

You weren’t here at the village, but you weren’t home either..so where had you gone? The question sunk into him, weighing him down like an anchor and causing his stomach cavity to drop. A feeling of dread set over him as he came upon the unsettling realization; you were missing.

Where had you gone? What happened when you left the village a few days ago? Had you been kidnapped? Grown more frantic with each thought that popped into his head, Kabukimono ran around, asking every villager he came across about you until he finally gained a morsel of information—a speckle of hope—when a man mentioned seeing someone that fit your description walk towards the entrance of the village with an empty, woven basket as big as themselves hanging on their back.

And without much thought, he took off in that very direction, heeding the man no mind any longer despite his warnings about the impending storm that was soon to consume the area.

 “This lake, though bound by the earth to this one place, saved that village so many times that the townsfolk began to believe that some powerful being was secretly living in the depths of it and protecting them. They began to idolize it, nurture and take care of it, and spoke about it as if this little lake was some otherworldly deity which created tall tales and legends that they’d go on to tell their children…believe it or not, I took part in such absurdity.”

Kabukimono remained unfazed when the path beneath his feet began to turn dark and slippery, when the graying sky finally shed its tears, when those tears dampened his clothing, not even when he nearly fell into a puddle. All that he could focus on was the possible places you would have gone and why the place you chose wasn’t home where he was.

 “So..what happened to the village?”

 “The lake failed them.”

 “Y/n! Where are you? Can you hear me?” After a while of running with no destination in mind, Kabukimono found it best to call out to you in hopes you’d make your way to him, call his name back, something–anything–that would hint towards you being near.

He raised his voice as high as he could, his voice likely being carried across nations from how loud he was, and yet, he was met with nothing but the deafening sound of thunder roaring to life. It was disheartening, but as he stood amongst the rain, the final wire in his head finally clicked and the memory of you sitting before crystal waters was pushed to the forefront of his mind.

It’s a slim chance, but maybe you had gone there and, for whatever reason, stayed.

In an instant, he was running at full speed once again, steering in the direction his memory remembered best.

 “A fire of unknown origins enveloped it in the dead of night. It wiped out half the village and forced the other half to flee for safety..some of which came to me, who lived on the outskirts of town.”

 “No one knew how it started. After all, fire wasn’t anywhere close to being the most accessible resource they had. It was a luxury, even. It also never spread past the village and by sunrise, it ceased to exist altogether. The oddity of the situation made the survivors believe that it was some punishment from their lake deity.”

 "That thought clouded their minds and the thought of disappointing their all-forgiving god drove them mad..”

He made it to the lake by nightfall—not that he could tell by looking up, seeming as it's been the same color since earlier that afternoon—and as if a light was shining down on it from the sky, the lake gleamed almost magically. Its darkened waters seemed to shine like a ruby even under the thick clouds and he sees the ripples from where he stood in the distance. The waves paving a clear way for him to follow, slowly leading up to the center where he spots something.. 

 “Convinced that it was their fault everything was lost, the surviving villagers went about the rest of their days repenting by praying to the lake from sun up to sun down…”

As he slowly walked closer, familiar strands of hair became noticeable. Though cut into uneven chunks and spread out to be nearly invisible in comparison to the deep red of the water that it floats in, he was sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. That said, he found himself following the strands to the origins of where they once flourished from. His eyes locked on the indistinguishable lump once again and he was sure that it and the reason he came here were unrelated…until something floating beside it caught his eyes.

That something was a hairpin. One with a golden base and purple and red flowers dancing along the edge of it…just like the one he bought you the day you decided to throw him that welcoming party.

 “...until the waters rose and they disappeared while being enveloped by the deity's embrace."

 “Y/n.. Y/n!” Despite the pressure of it dawning on him felt like two boulders falling on his shoulders, Kabukimono rushed into the water and immediately the white clothing that covered his being stained a murky crimson whilst a putrid smell invaded his nostrils. It made him feel sick—nauseated, even—but he did his best to push it all down as he clumsily swam towards the center of the lake.

It wasn’t true. This wasn’t happening. This surely can’t.. What’s floating amongst the water truly isn’t what he thinks it is.

It isn’t you. There’s no way. You made a promise that you still haven’t fulfilled, after all. You wouldn’t break your promise, not someone like you.

After what felt like an eternity, he reaches the center of the lake which he now notices is more of an inky black and only stretches as far as a few rogue strands. He grabs ahold of the lump, sucking in a breath when his fingertips sink in slightly as if pressing against a firm, wet cushion. It felt disgusting. He hesitates, but ultimately squeezes down enough to pull it along even with the sickening slick gushing at the pressure and making his grasp unsteady.

He reaches land at long last, immediately escaping onto the wet grass and tugging the lump out along with him. It looked less like a lump now, and though swole and looking like some abstract art piece, there was no mistaking it. It was flesh. This was a person, or rather, the remains of one..and they looked eerily similar to you even when all blotched and bloody, there was no denying that.

But even if this was you, there’s no way you could be dead. No, that’d be impossible. You have to be asleep. You had to have decided to take a dip in the lake and fell asleep. That’s the only thing that makes sense.

His shaky palms reach out to you and he touches you with his cold, wet hands that were actively getting more and more drenched with every raindrop that fell on them. He gently swept your hair from your face, tucked it tentatively behind your ear, and cupped your cheek.

His breath stutters. It was as if he was touching pure ice. But that can’t be possible. You’re his sun, his light, somebody like you shouldn’t feel like this.

..Well actually, it makes sense. You fell asleep in the water plus it’s raining. Even someone as warm as you would succumb to the cold under these circumstances. It makes sense. It’s okay. He’ll help you warm up in the comfort of your home as soon as he wakes you up.

He slides his hand down your face—past your now oddly grayed lips and down your neck—until he reaches your bare shoulder, which wrinkles had been exposed due to his rough handlings in pulling you out of the water by the drapes of your clothing. He promises to apologize when you awake. Because you will wake up. There’s no doubt. Because you’re just sleeping.

 “Y/n..” He calls softly. Too softly seeming as you remain unmoving. He decides to give your shoulder a gentle shake, calling your name once again, “Y/n.”

 “Y/n. It’s time to wake up,” Your lashes don’t flutter. You don’t grimace from the discomfort of his shaking growing more and more aggressive. You don’t do anything.

 “I don’t mean to disturb you, but you’ll probably get sick if you lie here in the rain any longer,” The same result. Blood begins to seep under his fingernails from how hard he’s digging his nails into your skin. He continues to shake you anyways, even going on to grip your other, covered shoulder.

 “Come on, you can’t sleep around forever. I- I planned to surprise you by making dinner all by myself tonight. It’s your favorite so you have to try it,” His nose was beginning to tingle from the odor that was invading it. Where was it coming from? Why is it so much stronger than before now that he’s closer to you? He forces his mind not to make the connection. Not that there was a connection in the first place. You were just sleeping, after all.

Just sleeping, nothing else.

Kabukimono’s hand trails down your arm, down past your wrist, to your hand where he enlaces his fingers with yours, “Come on,” He said, though his voice was quieter now, more shaky, and his words cracked like glass, allowing his desperation to seep through just a little, “We have to get home..”

 “I- I want to go home now, so let’s go..please..” He lifts your hand, raising your arm into the air and ignoring the deep, dark lines etched messily into your skin—the deepest looking one right over the vein of your wrist—and giving it a firm squeeze. You don’t reciprocate the action.

His grip loosens after a while and your fingers slide down his palm and flop to the ground beside you. You had to be really, really tired. But that’s okay, he’ll help you out!

He moves to hover over you, a grim smile etched on his face as he loops his arms around your waist and hoists you up. Your body collides with his as all your weight shifts to lean on him.

He holds you tightly, his head turning so as to not hit his nose against your chest and instead allows you to lean against the side of his face, his ear pricking up at the sweet symphony of...silence.

Sitting there, amongst the loud rain with his ear pressed against your chest—right over your heart—he’s met with deafening silence instead of the usual beat your heart strings typically produce. Your heart wasn’t playing its usual tune. It wasn’t playing anything, in fact, because it wasn’t beating. If your heart wasn’t beating anymore that meant you weren’t breathing anymore either which meant..you..

Tears—ones that he wasn’t aware of—were building up in his eyes, falling like a castle under attack. They slowly descended one after another, quickly fusing with the rainwater and forming as a long, thick stream along his cheek and past his mouth—which he had cracked open to bare his clenched teeth.

 “Y/n..what have you done?” He whispered. His voice sounded small like a baby fox’s cry for help; vulnerable and weak. He then repeats himself one last time, slowly, “..Why have you done this..?”

Silence. His teeth crackles under the pressure of him forcing them impossibly closer together.

 “Answer me,” He says through gritted teeth before yelling out, visibly and uncharacteristically enraged, “Answer me!”

Silence. He shakes you hard, your head rolling every which way like a ragdoll to the point it’d make one believe that any harder would cause it to roll right off your shoulders. Luckily, for his sake, it doesn’t.

 “You promised me!” He shouted, his voice then dipped, “..you promised me..”

Silence. A choke spells his demise quickly after that and his strength suddenly fails him, allowing your body—your corpse—to fall unceremoniously to the ground. He follows suit soon after, and when he does, he lets out a scream. One that clawed its way out from the depths of his chest, spilling his agony out of his throat and laying it bare for the entire world to see…alas, with nothing but the moon to comfort him.

Humans are odd creatures. Ones that cannot be trusted, no matter who they are or what past they may harbor, at least, that’s what Kabukimono.. Kunikuzushi…

That’s what Scaramouche has grown to believe after centuries of nothing but betrayal.

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[nocasdatsgay]

Kept - Harlots of Autumn Fic

Pairing: Reader/Beron; Mentions of past Reader/Lucien and mentions of past Reader/Vanserra Brother | Rating: E | Word Count: 2230 |

Autumn Harlots Master Post| Previous Part: Sold | Read on ao3

Summary: Lucien was gone from Autumn. The High Lord requests your presence a week later to find out if you’re worth keeping. 

Trigger Beron. Vague mentions of past non-con. Dubious consent. Power imbalance. Non-con due to power imbalance. Blow jobs. P in V sex. Fire Rope. Inappropriate use of High Lord Powers

A/N: Merry Crisis. It’s still Christmas Eve here so. Anyways no time like the present. HEED THE WARNINGS. 

Gen Tagging List: @secret-third-thing @readychilledwine @acourtofladydeath @lady-of-tearshed @daycourtofficial @hieragalbatorixdottir @mybestfriendmademe @thisblogisaboutabook @ninthcircleofprythian @pit-and-the-pen @ysmtttty @jon-snows-man-bun If I tagged you by accident let me know

A month of mourning. The whole Forest House was in black daily, solemn moods on every face. The only person you mourned was Lucien. He was so kind to you for so long. He kept his brothers at bay for the first year but eventually they got their hands on you. 

Leon, one of the two you were supposed to be mourning, was the roughest. He liked it when you cried- be it from pleasure or pain. He always made you look him in his ugly brown eyes while he fucked you. And he always forced an orgasm out of you. You might as well enjoy it too, he would whisper in your ear. 

If there was a grave to spit on you would have done it. 

The other brother was just an annoyance when he was alive. Sloppy and drunk most of the times he called for you. You could get him off with your hands and he would pass out immediately after. When he did fuck you he was quick. Maybe it was a blessing he died before taking a wife. 

It was only five days after the announcement of what happened that you received a letter with the High Lord’s seal. Your heart stopped when you saw he requested you meet him in his quarters after dinner. You tossed the letter and burned it- you didn’t want the other two girls, Beca and Rhian finding it. They were kind but even after a few years you still didn't trust them fully yet. 

When you went, you put on one of your better dresses. A burnt orange one that you wore last month at the ball. It was the newest, you felt maybe it would look better if you showed off how you appreciated his generosity. There was a guard at the door. He looked down his nose at you before knocking. A call from the other side and he let you in. 

“High Lord,” you walked in and curtsied. You kept your eyes on the floor. “You called for me?”

Silence. You didn’t look up, too afraid of this being a test. 

“I did.” He finally broke the silence after a moment. You kept your eyes on the decorated carpet. “Do you know why I called for you?” 

“No, High Lord.” 

He hummed. “Beauty but no brains then. That explains why that runt didn’t wish to keep you. I do not know why, considering he was no better.” 

You heart quickened. 

“I gave you a task when you were hired. Entertain my youngest. You must be abysmal company if you could not keep his attentions. Do you have anything to say for yourself? You may speak.” 

“High Lord, I assure you I did my best-“

“Your best obviously wasn’t good enough. Did you know? Of his dalliances with that creature?” 

You winced. “No, High Lord. I did not.”

He hummed. “I believe you. If there was one thing he did learn, it was how to be sly. Besides, if you lied I would know. I always know.” He paused and you held your breath. “That still leaves me with you. What to do with you? Are you worth keeping?” You didn’t answer. “Show me why I should keep you.” 

Your stomach sank. You knew what he wanted. 

“How would you prefer me?” You replied softly. 

“Take three steps, then kneel.” Three small steps and you kneeled on the plush carpet. “Eyes on me.”

Your gaze snapped up. He looked at you from where he lounged in his chair. You had never seen him in such tight clothes. A simple and loose ruby undershirt, the top untied. Your gaze flickered to his brown leather trousers- another article of clothing you’d never seen him in. He looked younger like this. You’d call him handsome if he were a stranger. If you didn’t know what kind of male he was. He stood. You could see and smell his arousal even from a short distance. 

“You are a pretty one,” he stepped up and grabbed you by the chin. Gods, he looked like Eris this close. “But are you worth keeping after your failure to please that runt? Open your mouth.”

He let go and you opened your mouth, resting your tongue on your bottom lip. He forced two fingers into your mouth. You only recoiled slightly from the sudden movement but kept yourself from gagging as he pushed back further. You took a calculated risk: you closed your mouth around his fingers and sucked gently. He grinned. 

“You’re a nasty little cunt. To think you were pure when we got you.” He pulled his fingers out and straightened himself. “Show me how you please a High Lord.” 

You gathered up your hair in the ribbon you kept on your wrist. He laughed at you but you didn’t pay him any mind. With your hair secured, you reached out for his trousers. For half a moment, you wondered if it would be sacrilegious to pretend this was Lucien. You did that sometimes. You wish you knew more when he bedded you so that you could make him feel good too. 

You focused and realized Beron had a belt on- it wasn’t typical Autumn fashion. Still, you undone it from the buckle and undid the button on the trousers. The dark hair on his navel came into view and his clothes were pushed aside. Heat pooled instinctively between your legs at the peak of his straining cock. When you pulled it out, you didn’t know if you physically or mentally made a noise. It was unfair how attractive the Vanserras were considering their personalities. Looking at it fully, it was just as pretty as his sons’. His hand went to your head while you stroked him. Gods, you hope you did this like he wanted. His hand didn’t leave your head while you licked up the underside of his length. 

You kept your eyes up, looking at him from under your lashes when you took him in your mouth. You bobbed once, coating him in your saliva. He tasted different- sharp like Fire Whiskey. He groaned, fingers digging into your scalp to hold you still. You knew what would come next and relaxed your jaw. 

“Good girl,” he sighed and thrusted into your mouth. 

Your mind drifted. Lucien called you a good girl. When he stretched you out with his fingers. When he made you come on his cock. The memory made your panties wet. Your gaze unfocused thinking about him; sucking his cock. He’d reward you and make you feel good too. Beron must have noticed. He grabbed your ponytail and yanked your head back. 

“You focus on me,” he snarled, flames in his eyes. 

“Yes sir.” You muttered and opened your mouth again. 

You made a point to stare at him as he thrusted into your mouth, hand tight on your hair. Did he fuck his wife like this? Did he fuck the other girls like this? They never said. They only talked about the heirs. 

“I see why they wanted you,” he groaned, his thrusts getting rougher and threatening to gag you. “You’re so fucking pretty on your knees. Cry for me and I’ll give you a treat.” 

Beron started pushing down your throat. You gagged once but caught yourself. As commanded, your eyes watered. He seemed to like that. It didn’t take long for him to come down your throat. You swallowed, the aftertaste like whiskey coating your mouth. You desperately prayed to The Mother you wouldn’t cough or choke. He stepped back, your salvia leaving a string from the head to your lips. You didn’t dare wipe it away. 

“Get up.” Beron caught his breath. He let go of your hair and you watched him stroke himself again. “Get up and bend over the chair.” 

You got to your feet and scrambled to the chair he’d been sitting in. You bent over the left arm. In your mind you were terrified but your body- you could smell your own arousal and his. You told yourself it was from thinking of Lucien. Deep down you knew the truth. You liked it. You bit your lip as he came up behind you. You stood your toes, hopping to lift your rear the way he might want. 

His hands gathered your skirt, lifting. He reached under and you inhaled sharply when his warm hands caressed your thigh. He tugged on your undergarments, making them fall to the floor at your feet. 

“I’m keeping these,” he said. 

You could hear him move. He reached down and you made sure to quickly step out of them. You didn’t understand why he would want your undergarments. His sharp inhale startled you. 

“You almost smell good enough to eat. Maybe one day if you earn it.” 

You didn’t know what that meant. 

Suddenly warm fire wrapped around your neck- he had made a fire rope. It didn’t burn but was still warm against your skin. Then he pulled. You gagged and choked as you tried to sit up and lessen the pressure. He laughed and tugged it again. 

“Lift your leg whore.” 

You steadied yourself and lifted your left leg up onto the arm of the chair. Then two more fire ropes wrapped around your wrists. You yelled when your hands were yanked off the chair and moved to your back. He pulled on those, holding you up and you tried to shift your weight to take the pressure off your throat. The rope fire holding your arms behind your back held fast just like the rope on your neck. But it seemed to be what he wanted. You felt him let one hand go and throw up your skirts. He run his fingers along your slit. 

“Whore indeed.” You whimpered when he pushed two fingers into you with ease. “My boys trained you well. Are you always this needy?” 

You knew better than to answer. His fingers felt around until he hit a spot that made you clench. The bastard chuckled. He loosened his hold of the fire on your neck long enough to shove his cock into you without warning. You moaned involuntarily. 

“Been a long time since I had such a tight cunt.” He thrusted and jolted you forward. He let out a deep groan and did it again. “Maybe you are worth keeping.” 

Beron fucked you in long hard strokes, dragging himself out slowly only to thrust into you quick and hard. The chain on your neck tightened, making you dizzy. You tried to focus, to figure out what he wanted from you. Did he want you to come? Did he want you to be silent or vocal? Vocal seemed to be what he wanted. Each time you gasped and whined when he tugged the chain made him grip your waist harder. 

And it felt good. 

Each stroke hit that spot inside you that made you see stars. It didn’t help that each thrust rubbed you against the arm of the chair, stimulating you from the outside. And with the pressure from the chain on your throat- it was hard not to let go. 

“You like this don’t you,” he whispered. “Answer me.”

“Yes,” you gasped. 

His fingers dug into your thigh.“Yes, what?” 

“Yes, high lord.”

“Good girl.” You whined and he groaned. “I’m going to cum inside of you and you’re going to walk out with my seed in your cunt. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” you struggled to get out, “High Lord.” 

He finally loosened the chain of fire on your neck and held you by the ones on your wrists. He cursed and came. You could feel the heat of him coat the inside of you. Then unexpectedly, he pulled you up flush against him. 

“Come for me.” He whispered in your ear. “Come for your high lord.” 

A command your body couldn’t disobey. You moaned loudly, pulsing around him, pleasurable warmth rolling through your body. It felt so good you forgot for a moment who had you in his grasp. Then the ropes vanished and he let go. You fell face first panting into the chair cushion. He stepped back, pulling out and leaving his cum dripping out of you. 

“Clean up your mess.” 

You pushed yourself up, turning to see him watching you intensely. Your eyes dropped to his softening cock. It was muscle memory at that point. You got on your knees and licked him clean. You looked up at him the whole time, watching to see if he approved. He reminded you of Asher, the way his face held no emotion or tell at what he was thinking. Then he shoved you away. 

“You can stay. Don’t make me have to call for you again, understand?” He tucked himself back into his trousers. 

“Yes High Lord.” 

“Out.” 

You scrambled to your feet, his sticky mess dripping down your thighs like he promised. It was by the grace of The Mother no one was in the hall as you made your way to your chambers. Beca and Rhian were missing when you entered- another blessing. You were shaking by the time you drew a bath and got into the water. You washed away the smell of him and tried desperately to not think about what would have happened if you had not pleased him. 

[angeisherexoxo]

Manifestation cheatcode:

BE NONCHALANT!!!!!!

When I say be nonchalant I mean say you want it done? And move on with your life, just move on.. its simple! And when ppl say its simple ik you're like "how??? How its simple because I've been working so hard to get what i want my entire life and now you're suddenly telling me it is simple.. how is it simple????" I will tell you how just read the post. (Long post ahead)

As i was saying, decide your desir, affirm for it and move on, what do I mean by moving on? I mean:

1. NOT OVERTHINKING IT

2. NOT STRESSING IT!!!

Because if you're someone who gets whatever tf they want, whenever tf you want.. why do you even think twice about it right?

♡: Examples from My own life lately:

1. As some of you might noticed I disappeared here, because I have midterms and I'm a medical student so I've got to study more yeah? Since i didn't study ever since the term started (I was focusing on manifesting as you see in my latest posts)

But as I started focusing on studying and nothing but studying my manifesting process POURED ON ME!!!!!!! bitch I was complaining about how I don't get money as a college student (we have financial issues) , now as I focused on studying and dropped thinking about manifesting (because my brain is so busy inhaling study sheets) suddenly mom gave me 20$ bucks to buy medical sheets for my studies, then she gave me another 10$ to buy something else if i wanted, later at the same day dad gave me another 20$ JUST BECAUSE (Which never happened) , that was at 24 of December right? Yesterday suddenly a relative of ours got sick, and I have an exam, we had to go pick up my grandma so she visits the relative yeah??? She saw me and decided to give me 20$, and I'M NOT EVEN FOCUSING ON MONEY or manifesting I'm literally busy studying..

Q: So ange what happened there? What does this all mean?

A: I HAD no time to even think against what I want!! That's what fkn happened, before studying I was inhaling affirmations and repeating, now as I've let it go (by inhaling my studies and not having time to think about my manifesting process) it all just worked out, who would know that I will suddenly see my grandma and she'll give me money? I DIDNT SEE HER IN MONTHS!!! that's what they mean when they say everything will move for you to have your desires, for me it was that relative who got sick that caused me to see my grandma (pray for the relative btw thanks<3)

And this here was being nonchalant but I did it by studying, YOU can just say you want this to happen and fkn forget about it, Yk when we complain always about buying this book we DESPERATELY want, or that guitar or that phone or that car or laptop and then when we BOUGHT IT and it's in our room we just- ignore it, literally live as if we never desperately begged for it and that's the fkn key, i never understood what bloggers mean when they say “Embody the person you want to be, dont wish you are, YOU ARE, assume you have it and you will” that's what they fkn mean, weeks ago I was hoping for a 10$ now I've got like 30$ per day!

2. My studies!!!

As a medical student it's fine hard to study medicine, especially when you're lazy like my own dumbass, I only study the days before the exam, for example yesterday I had a midterm for 4 sheets that I studied in 2 days, each sheet have 14 pages that's FILLED with informations, and as a girl who has ADHD and a messy mind it was hard to focus and honestly I'm princess coded I just want shit done without being tired I'm sure you all understand since you're reading this, we want it done in the most simple fast way yeah? Fuck yes we do, so! Whenever I stressed and complained to ANYONE (I'm a complainer) I started reflecting the complaining, if I noticed I was about to complain to my friends or My parents about my studies I just immediately start bragging to them, I be like oh it's so easy to me and I'm even smarter than the professors there and LORD how it's easy to predict their exam questions, and istg as I focused on this technique (if I thought against what I want, I immediately start correcting myself and think as if I'm so smart *I am btw* and it's all so easy to me) that's what fkn happened, yes I got tired and I've got so many back pain while studying but I suddenly started making questions out of the sheet instead of just studying the information as the professor has stated it, for example if he said components of immune system are : innate immune system and acquired immune system, I be like oh that's easy he's gonna ask me : Q: What are the components of immune system?

This made it so much easier to study and the next day in the midterm I saw 6 questions of the ones I fkn made in the sheet!!! It's like I hacked his mind???

3. My last and third example of My life is also about my studies, as I said I'm so princess coded and sensitive af guys, and I hate college as a girl who wants no stress and just success, so the last weeks I skipped college, I was sick and stressed and just had so many issues going on so I didn't go, and that's where they announced my name because I crossed the limit of absence (strict medical bitches) and if you cross this limit they won't let you attend the midterms and therfore you won't pass the final because there is a gap due to the lack of the midterm grades, even if you wanted to pass the final you'd have to get a full mark no matter what so you avoid the damage of not attending the midterm, SINCE my cute ass crossed the limit of absence it means I can't attend the midterm, LOGICALLY it means I failed the midterm already isn't it?

But I just decided that it won't hurt me in anyway, why? Because manifesting isn't about logic, if you tell me you can't fly I'll say I can fly and one day I will!! And guess what? That's what happened

The boss of our major came yesterday (first midterm exame as i said) and called my name, and she gave me a paper saying that I only didn't attend one subject- which is so untrue bitch I skipped them all!!! How tf there's only one subject????? I didn't want to correct her I just signed the paper (signing it is like a promise that I won't do it again) and just like that I survived the whole danger of failing- was it logical?? Did it make sense? NOOOOO but it happened omgmgmfmiquwuwu2!!!!

START BELIEVING THAT IT ISN'T LOGICAL, ITS LIKE SUPERHEROES MOVIES, THEY BELIEVE THEY HAVE THE POWER TO DEFEAT THE VILLAIN AND THIS IS HOW THEY DEFEAT IT, THE VILLAIN HERE IS YOURRRR MINDSET, START DOING WHAT I SAID AND SEE HOW SHIT SHIFTS!!!!

I've got more to say for the examples but I've got to go study (wish me luck btw), I hope I helped I really tried my best to <3!

Ps: another side example is yesterday was hella cold in my country so I wanted a vacation (to study more because as I told yall it was 4 sheets and I stressed myself out so I wanted more time to get my shit together) no one said ANYTHINNNG at all about any vacation, but I just thought "idc they're gonna give us a vacation for the bad weather and that's just it) right next hours the whole country started talking about the vacation due to bad weather, all the fkn cities, but for some reason my stupid town decided that there will be no vacation for us because our town's weather is better than the other towns yk? I'm still mad about it because I was soooo close to manifest it, I guess it was because I kept stressing saying "oh god I want a vacation *crying and complaining*

I don't consider it as a success story because I had no vacation I had to go solve that stupid midterm -_- but bitch I got above 10+ towns to have vacations due to BAD WEATHER, THE WEATHER WAS FINE UNTIL I DECIDED ITS BAD. WTFFFFFF, exactly, no logic, logic doesn't fkn exist I'm about to cry oh my godness!!

Another side success story is that i suddenly started thinking void is so easy (it fkn is) out of nowhere, since i was inhaling attempting to tap into it i sat so many alarms to go try to induce it, now whenever i see the alarms i be like- its so easy why tf im complicating it- just bcs i stopped focusing on it!

cheers to all of us dreamers, I'm sure whoever is reading my post is someone who was one a wattpad person who loves Y/N stories, a Harry potter fan, marvel fan, my hero academy fan, fantasy fan, miraculous ladybug fan, in general ppl who just dont want to be here surrounded with logic boring stuff (in my case a girl who wrote fanfiction novels about one directio) , because I know you and I are here because we are dreamers!! we knew there MUST be a magical key to get out of this logical bullshitful and stupid cruel world, you already have the key you FOUND IT YOU CUTE IDIOT!!! you just need to know how to flick it and get that golden door opened (your pretty subconscious mind), me and you? We are gonna do it, just easy on yourself!!! Xoxo

[notbojack]

Random hcs with the Lin kuei bros bc why not (gifs not from me)

Bi han

*giggling*

Anyway

His side eyes are absolutely criminal btw

When he's in a situation where he can't express his frustration, you can be sure he will send them a side eye

Yk cats when they clearly are judging you? Yeah that's him

Speaking of animals, I think if anyone retrieved some animal to the Lin kuei (cat, dog etc) he'd clearly express his disapproval bc it's a distraction or some shit

Yet he ends up being the one to take care of them (like dads with the pet they didn't want LOL that's him)

Bi han reminds me of a freaking cat so I decided he was one

A very grouchy cat that has ice daggers instead of claws-

I think he reminds me of this animal bc they can be very rude and insolent even to the people they love (saw it on tiktok srry I had to)

He was raised like that, to be tough. And though that succeeded, it still left a mark

He never really asks for help for anything even when he needs it bc he's too ashamed to admit he does need help sometimes

Kuai liang

Sigh

*tweak*

He was very obviously a daddy's boy btw just saying. It's already evident enough in the interactions so that is out of the way

But I think he really had a lot of admiration for bi han when they were kids

I saw somewhere that little siblings see their big siblings as like their second parent. I think that def happened with them

Notice how I said he HAD admiration

I think they grew apart slowly with time but it might be also bc of their mom's death that possibly made bi han even colder

He's rather similar to bi han

Haven't anyone noticed how he looks at others?? Like bro is really eyeing them down like losers lol

I think that's just how the Lin kuei raise people at this point

NOBODY is letting him cook after that one time he tried and burned down the entire kitchen

His brothers are always there to remind him randomly

"Hey can you pass me the pepper" "no I don't want you to burn down the kitchen again"

Actual interaction with his brothers btw

Still he's quite literally a heater so if you're cold yk what to do

He hates winter AND summer. He's a subtle hater of these two season (he's not)

Tomas vrbada

Oil up 😘

I'm playing (I'm not) 🤭

I think he's a humble man BUT he's a little shit

He will probably tease before fighting btw

He's mischievous as fuck. I think it's coming from being a hunter or something cuz they play with their preys or whatever

He was def playing cheeky pranks as a kid

It's why he learned his smoke abilities. He had to run FAST to not get caught after a prank (he runs really fast now bc of that) so it was easier to just disappear

That and bc bro was on the trenches in the household

I can see the Lin kuei bros "play fighting" with each other

What a gentle word to say it was a literal mortal kombat (srry I had to-)

I think he too kinda struggles to ask for help, though not as much as his brothers

He's more open minded than his brothers so I can see him acc going to see the mortal kombat movie Johnny produced

I think he's pretty interested in earthrealmers customs. He barely saw any cuz he was with the Lin kuei practically all his life so he wonders how it's like sometimes

Anyway end of my yap session. I got inspired from some mk posts. Mk fans WHERE TF ARE YOU

[pyrodolls]

HIII i loved your down bad hcs and figured i'd drop a request 👉👈

can i get some hcs for the lin kuei trio + kenshi w/ a gn!reader who's very clingy?

like someone who'll literally follow them wherever they go just for some physical affection and is very cuddly. bonus points if the reader is talkative too :]

LIN KUEI TRIO + KENSHI X CLINGY!READER HCS

WARNINGS: sfw, established relationship, gender neutral reader, lowercase intended, mk1 characters, mk1 spoilers, takes place after the story and before the khaos reigns dlc cuz i haven't played it yet lmfaoooo

A/N: hey... hey.... how y'all doing... erm it's been a while but here we go with another mortal kombat post!! the last time i posted about it was nearly a YEAR ago y'all i suckkkk i'm sorry. but as an apology and a late christmas gift, i'm posting 5 different reqs this week woohoooo *everyone cheers* and i'm sorry it took so long for me to write, i just didn't feel like it. but here we are! also apologies for making tomas and kenshi's hcs short, i just don't have a lot of writing experience for kenshi and tomas only has like 2 minutes of screentime ijbol

with BI-HAN, he'd hate for you to be clingy while he is working. he has an entire clan to take care of, and his stress was worsened after kuai liang and tomas's betrayal. even though you may be his spouse, his main goal will always remain with the lin kuei and taking control of earthrealm. but in private, you could be physically affectionate or talk to your heart's desire.

he's not going to reciprocate your affections, though. he's not used to the concept of romance, especially from someone as vulnerable as you. his entire life he was trained to be cold and ruthless. sure, he grew up with kind brothers, but he saw their friendly nature as weakness. he'll often criticize you for being open with your feelings, but that's only because that was what he was taught. he may behave as if he resents your attachment, but he secretly enjoys the domesticity. it delights him that you are so devoted to him. his hatred for his former brothers grows every day due to their betrayal, so having you around him softens his temper, as he requires reassurance that you aren't going to turn on him. (he'll never admit that, though.) he also doesn't mind when you follow him around as long as you do not disrupt his duties or make a fool out of him. keep your affections private, and you'll stay his. you wouldn't want him to punish you for misbehaving in front of the entire clan, would you?

KUAI LIANG is far more accepting of your behavior than his colder brother. he understands that you're clingy because you care about him, so he tries to make an effort to reciprocate your affections whenever he can. but he often worries for your safety as his spouse. he worries that the lin kuei could target you if they find out about your love. you're free to be clingy, but you must keep it private.

he believes your love is one of the last good things he has left in his life. after bi-han's betrayal, his life has been one of little to no rest. having you by his side keeps his anxieties at bay for a short amount of time. you can talk to him as much as you want, and he won't interrupt you unless it's important. he would listen to your thoughts without judgement. he may question you, but he'll never judge. he may not be as talkative as you are, because he tries to show you how he feels with actions rather than words. but he still manages to keep up with you because he loves you. he's grateful to have some happiness in his dangerous life. that happiness is you.

TOMAS is similar to his brothers as he does not wish for your affections to be public, for safety reasons. however, he makes it very clear that he is appreciative of your clingy nature and never fails to turn beet red when you hug him. while he is busy building the shirai ryu, he has much more free time than his brothers. he enjoys going on walks with you and hearing you talk for hours. he stays engaged and asks questions and laughs along at your jokes, even if they aren't funny. he isn't as energetic as you are, but he attempts to reciprocate your energy the best he can. he grew up with bi-han's harsh criticisms and kuai liang's gentle guidance, but he's never had someone always excited to see him like you. you never fail to put a smile on his face and brighten a dark day.

KENSHI is now a government agent, so he often comes home to you at different times every night. he feels guilty for making you wait for him so late at night, but his concerns wash away the moment you run to hug him. he has a dangerous job, and he can handle himself despite losing his vision, but it doesn't stop him from worrying about you every time he leaves the house. just like the lin kuei trio, he wants to keep your relationship private, so you aren't hunted down like he is. he feels bad that you can't have a normal relationship with him, and it has gotten you in a few arguments, since he believes you deserve better. but ultimately, it's always worked out in the end when you reassure him that you're happy with him and nobody else. he doesn't care that you're a bit clingy, he appreciates that you care about him. it breaks his heart when he has to push you away for his job, but he just wishes to protect you, since your relationship is the best thing that's ever happened to him.

[eyeofclaws]

I know for a fact there are at least three posts starting exactly like this, but listen to me anyways; Singed must've met Silco while he looked like this for sure.

It's why Silco was interesting to him in the first place i think.

Do you ever think about that? How Singed must've taken Silco in right after him and Vander had the fight? Like, when his eye first started to change, when the wounds kept opening back up, not healing right, partially not healing at all due to the chemicals from the water.

The toxicity sitti deep in Silcos flesh, in his nerves, torturing him every moment of his existence. Singed must've been absolutely awestruck the second he laid eyes on the broken and wrecked man Silco was. Singed saw this broken young man, this absolute freak of nature and nurture, destiny to die but fighting fate with spite and rage, anger that runs so deep that it's keeping him "alive", and thought he was the most beautiful creature to ever walk this earth. A walking corpse that Singed opened his arms for and caught, not only inviting himself into Silcos life, but also inviting Silco into his.

Silco died way before Jinx shot him, way before they even met, and Singed was there to witness the change over the years without and with her. Singed was there for it all, saw every little change, saw the times his eye didn't bother him as much, the time it took to get used to the constant pain, saw the bad times when Silco couldn't even step into the dimly lit streets of Zaun because it was too bright for his injured eye. He worked on Silco, his perpetual little project, the ongoing story of a man turned beast by the hand of family.

LISTEN I JUST GOT VERY STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT THESE TWO OKAY

[moregraceful]

made it one (1) cookie into christmas day cookie baking without a standmixer before i went this cannot stand, and now i have had my finger on the launch button of my shopping cart on the kitchenaid website for 45 minutes. an interesting thing about me is i will buy a customized jersey for $250+ without thinking twice, but then i look at a kitchenaid stand mixer and i'm like no i couldn't POSSIBLY...it is EXTRAVAGANT... even though a stand mixer will easily get more use on a consistent basis than um. z.ach h.yman leafs jersey. &tc

livejournal posting on the microblogging website

having a very nice christmas so far. i am spending it alone and earlier this week i spent about 10 minutes feeling sorry for myself about it, and then said WHAT the fuck am i doing. to wake up on christmas morning and not want to kill myself is going to be the greatest gift. and made a plan to make cookies and a sheet pan dinner that my family hates but that i love. and you know what, i did not wake up and feel like ending it all, and even though i am having immense cookie struggles, i feel better than i have in years. i like building traditions. it's fun.

talked to my sister and her husband this morning and while i always feel better about everything after talking to them, today was especially nice because her husband got on the phone whipped the fuck about their neighbor's kid or kids hiding musical instruments on their property. he was like you've worked extensively with teenagers, PLEASE explain why a teenager would do something this bizarre. and it's nice when i can be of help to them these days bc they spent so much of winter and spring trying to convince me not to gaslight myself into thinking any of it was normal or survivable. it's nice to be like, ok now i am in a safe space so i can offer my infinite wisdom. also very funny to be the teenager whisperer of the family. the three of us worked through the issue and landed on a solution that didn't involve my sister's husband narcing on the kid to their very strict and religious parents about instrument-playing lol. and that made me feel good bc we are several thousand miles away from each other but we're still very present in each other's lives.

i don't know it's being christian or if it's just spending a lot of years way too drunk on new year's eve to hashtag cope and waking up on jan 1 hungover as hell like goddammit not this shit (being alive) again. but this year christmas day feels like more of the start of a new year. i think about goal-setting and trying new things to inhabit my life more vividly and today feels like more of a place to start. like the light is here and i am too etc. this is a long-winded way saying that my 2025 goal is to take more pictures bc while i do love to live in the moment, i DON'T love that i have next to no pictures of the people i love or the things that i have enjoyed seeing or the creations i have made. not to be a Instagram Poster, but it's like i would love to remember what my internet friends' faces look like. or that cool rock i saw in someone's yard... i don't have to always live in the moment about rocks and friends it's ok to be like, i am enjoying this moment and i want simple proof that it existed beyond my memory.

and i have just tried both cookies i made and they are both very strange experiences that did not really spark joy so i am going to stare intently at the kitchenaid site for another hour

[namism]

Request: Heyyy!

I saw that you were requesting some fics, I was wondering if you could do a Trafalagr Law fic where Y/n or You has a flavored lipgloss gloss (any flavor), you could take it any direction you want!

Thank you and have a nice holiday!! ❤️

citrus | trafalgar d. law

➳ categories: canonverse, gender neutral reader, established relationship

➳ warnings: slight nsfw (detailed kissing)

➳ word count: 1.1k

➳ summary: Law isn't a fan of your flavored lipsticks and glosses when he tastes the flavor of Japanese plums, but you think you just found an alternative.

➳ notes: thanks for the request! ❤️ law canonically doesn't like umeboshi (pickled japanese plums), but for the sake of the fic, i made him a fruit hater ☠️ happy holidays, everyone!

➳ cross-posted on ao3

Before you began dating Law, you didn't expect him to be the many things that he currently is to you. To start, Law presents himself differently in front of many people that his attitude in dealings pretty much boils down to who he's talking to. As once a stranger to his crew, you saw a side of Law that was meant for business, a side of him so serious and monotonous that over time, became bothersome to deal with.

Yet you persisted through his seemingly dull personality until one piece fit into the other and you decided to date.

A relationship so sweet yet so unexpected, you learned many things about Law that he never would have thought of telling you, things about him that he always kept secret, locked inside his heart or his thoughts. Things that he could only say to his closest friends, others only for the ears of his lover.

That is to say, before you began dating Law, you didn't expect him to be a kisser.

He kisses you all the time, but the depth and length of his kisses vary. On some days, he would peck your lips. On others, he would peck your cheek. On most days, he would take his time kissing your lips. He can't help it—he scored a goal by dating you, and it gives him the peace of mind that he's the only one who can kiss you the way he does.

As much as he loves kissing you, however, there is one thing that deters him from doing so on rare occasions.

Your lipgloss.

He can explain—he generally has no problem with you and your cosmetics, secretly even liking it when you kiss him on the cheek and your lipstick leaves a faint mark on his tan skin, but he does have a problem when he kisses your glossed lips and tastes the faint flavor of fruit, some of them which he likes, some not so much. You love wearing different pigments on your lips, different products and brands that make your face look much more colorful, more full, so you often rotate among your collection of lipsticks and glosses, each one surprising your boyfriend whenever you greet him with a sweet and colorful kiss.

Law loves that you feel beautiful in your own skin to wear all of the makeup that you do, but he has a great distaste for some of your lip products. The flavored ones, to be exact. He's not a big fan of fruit (ironic, he knows, since he's literally a doctor), so he freezes up whenever he kisses you and tastes the flavor on your lips. You always make sure to tease him whenever he does so, calling him a big baby for not liking the taste.

"Oh? What's with the long face?" You once picked on your boyfriend as his lips flattened into a tight line after a short kiss. Law usually smiled afterward.

"You taste like plum," he said. Your eyebrows furrowed.

"Sad about it, are we? You hate my lipgloss?"

"It reminds me of that pickled snack Bepo eats." He shrugged, a chill running down his spine upon remembering the taste of Bepo's strange snack. Umeboshi, Bepo called it. Law could never get past its sour and salty flavor.

From that day onward, you would dodge Law's kisses whenever you happen to be wearing the ume-flavored gloss on your lips, often choosing to send a flying kiss toward his way as an alternative. When you visit Sabaody Archipelago, however, an idea comes to mind.

With the Polar Tang docked somewhere in the outer groves, you bid them goodbye as you make your way to Grove 30 for the island's shopping mall, where you stumble upon a vast selection of cosmetics. Eyes shining brightly, you indulge yourself in retail therapy as you blow your money out on the finest products you could find. When you walk past a stall vending a particular item, you halt in your tracks and come running back.

A lady sits behind the stand, her features telling of her youthful age. She smiles as you point at the array of lipgloss on the table, and urges you to swatch them out on your hand.

"That one's flavored," she says matter-of-factly as you hold a yellow tube in one hand. You read the printed label. Lemon.

"Do you have anything else?" you ask.

"I've got a lot to show you!"

As the lady disappears under the stand to rack for the new line of glosses, a smirk forms on your lips, the pit of your stomach turning in excitement.

When you come back to the Polar Tang, your excitement is apparent to your crewmates who wonder where you've been. You provide them with a giggle in response before you skip happily to your Captain's quarters.

You knock on the door. Law grants you entry a few seconds later.

"Miss me?" you tease him as he steps aside to let you in. You drop your bags to the ground, while he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Where have you been?" he asks.

"Just went shopping, like I told you."

He shrugs. He doesn't think much of it, assuming that you just had a few hours of fun to yourself before you set sail again. His hands drop to the side when you approach him for a kiss, your hands gliding across his chest before encircling his neck.

Before you can kiss him, however, he stops you abruptly.

"I smell something," he notes. He sniffs the air and looks at you questioningly. "It smells good."

You bite down on your lip discreetly to keep yourself from laughing. "How does it smell?"

"Like citrus," he answers. "Is that... you?"

Standing on your tippy toes, you move your face closer to his.

"Find out for yourself."

Law leans into you when you successfully catch his lips, his eyebrows jumping upon tasting yours. He notes the citrus flavor that he detected just a few seconds ago and almost scoffs at your little ruse. Expecting him to pull away, you sigh in relief when he leans further down to deepen the kiss, his hands coming to rest on the small of your back.

Law tugs on your upper lip slowly, eliciting a moan from the back of your throat. He swipes his tongue on your lower lip to taste the flavor of lemon, and repeats it so often until you're losing your breath.

Pushing away, you gasp for air.

"So? Do you hate it?" you ask breathlessly.

"No, I'm into it," he mumbles, pulling you in closer. "Another one, please."

The pit of your stomach stirs in need as he holds you intimately close. You peck his lips and pull him to the other side of his quarters, laughing to yourself at the turn of events.

You guess you just found your default lip combo. Law liked it more than expected, after all.

[noodle-is-unstable]

Hey, just a question but why were you fine with the abusive power dynamics between Sukuna and Uraume (Ume being so devoted to Sukuna and Sukuna only that they killed themself and Sukuna being fine with this blind devotion + Sukuna, a curse/cursed user, making Uraume, a human, cook human meat, including children, for him) so far but the moment he might have met them as a kid/teen you aren't fine? It was a "problematic" ship from the start, idk why everyone is acting horrified that the villains do villain things. But also meeting as a kid and dating as a kid is soooo different, they're both thousands years old in current days so like...

So first of all, you're more than welcome to ask questions and have a discussion but the tone in which this is written is coming off as agressive in my opinion. I don't appreciate that. Perhaps I'm reading into it wrong and that wasn't your intent, but it still has an unnecessary agressive tone to me. Especially in how you chose to end it with "so like..."

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume I'm misinterpreting the tone because it's very possible I am.

Now onto the actual question.

So unless something happened in the epilogue I missed I don't agree with your assessment of their relationship at all. If this context is given in the epilogue the point is moot because it was still something I wasn't privy to.

So I'm going off the manga for my knowledge of their relationship.

I think it's possible and valid that this is the interpretation you got from this, but it's simply not the same one I have.

I don't see their relationship as an abusive dynamic. (this can change with the new knowledge or context in the epilogue but we're taking about my perspective and why I wrote about it before this)

I saw Uraume as a very loyal servant, but not an abused or manipulated one. I didn't see Sukuna forcing things onto Uraume, I saw them choosing to do these things. (Remember this is in the context where we didn't know how Uraume and Sukuna met). I saw Uraume as choosing to follow Sukuna, choosing to cook humans, choosing to be devoted to Sukuna. They chose to follow him. They chose to be reincarnated to stay by his side. Uraume isn't some innocent little lamb being tricked by a wolf. They killed many people too. Also I think you forget Sukuna was a human too. Sukuna was a human eating humans and Uraume was a human cooking humans. They both participated in fucked up activities. Uraume isn't innocent and being forced to do anything. If they were I doubt they would have worked so hard to bring him back rather than just leaving and living their reincarnated life without him.

Simply put I saw Uraume as a very willing participant in everything that happened. I don't see their dynamic as abusive. You do and you have every right to, but I don't.

I also don't agree with your logic that their villains and do villian things so I should be okay with everything. Stealing is against the law, but so is murder. They're both bad, but they aren't equal. There is so much nuance to situations like this it's not realistic to just make it all equal.

Not to mention there is zero feelings that aren't platonic shown in the manga, that's all headcannons. It's not actually apart of the series at all. This is something fans have put onto the characters. This whole argument is in a fan made concept.

I am uncomfortable with pushing a romantic relationship on them when the situation is that he took Uraume in as a kid. I don't like it, it gives me the ick. So shocking, but if I don't like or agree with something, I'm not going to write about it.

Like I said in my last post I don't give a shit about the argument they're 1000 years old now, I don't like it.

He met Uraume as a child

He helped raise them

I'm not going to push a romantic aspect to that situation

You're allowed to disagree. You're allowed to not have a problem with that dynamic. You're allowed to see their dynamic differently than I do. But at the end of the day this is my page and I'm allowed to decide what I do and don't want to write for. And I don't want to write for that dynamic

[bibibbon]

Am I the only one who thinks that Izuku's admiration for Bakugou reminds me of Stockholm Syndrome? It's not normal for someone to have admiration for someone who did so much harm to them. What's your opinion?

Nope, anon, you aren't the only one. A lot of people can be found with a similar opinion if you check the anti bakugo tag or any variation of that tag.

I and many other people have talked about the toxicity of bakugo and izuku's relationship, and I recommend reading @sapphic-agent analysis on those two.

I have said this before in a previous post, but I am pretty certain that izuku after the bakugo vs izuku fight part 2 was supposed to finally ditch bakugo and abandon those feelings of pure admiration and start focusing on himself and healing. Izuku's vision of the perfect bakugo was supposed to break away the minute he entered UA and saw class 1A members like asui criticising bakugo for his horrible personality. However, that doesn't happen, and I think that's because hori changed his mind while writing the manga, which ultimately done more harm than good, as we can tell.

In the end, in a shallow way to try and address izuku's issues of self worth and mental burden caused by bakugo and societal treatment we get the supposed redeemed abuser (who really didn't do much in redeeming himself if iam being honest) telling izuku that he needs to start prioritising himself and to stop giving everyone special treatment. I suppose you can interpret izuku not wanting to work with bakugo as a small win, but that's literally it, in my opinion. I also think that it's a bit funny that SOME people were a bit mad at izuku declining the offer which shows just how much horikoshi has shoehorned bakugo into the plot to make him and izuku stick to one another that the thought of them not working together is unfathomable.

If I am being honest, do we really see izuku give special treatment to people?!?! Or is that supposed special treatment literally just Izuku being a decent human being who is doing his job from the heart and actually wanting to help people?

Apologies this got a bit ranty in the end!

[guilty-pleasures21]

Santa baby

This takes place in the You suck! universe, so feel free to check that one out if you haven't already! 😋

Okay, I need to give you a comprehensive warning so you can decide whether or not to read this.

WARNING: The following work of fiction describes a kinky and explicit roleplay using Santa Claus as one of the characters and a brief pretense of having an affair at the end. It is not my intention to offend anyone in any way at all and I apologise if I have done so (please drop me a message in my PM so that I might rectify my errors and be more mindful in the future as I am just unaware right now of any offence anyone might take). Furthermore, if you do feel you might take offence upon reading the contents of this warning, please proceed with caution or skip this post entirely.

----------------------------------------------------------

Miguel patted the space beside him and snarled when his hand met the empty mattress. Dios, he hated it when his girlfriend woke up before him. She wasn't a morning person, so it didn't happen too often, but that only made it all the more irritating when it coincided with the few mornings he'd let himself sleep in. Like today.

Miguel forced himself out of bed and stomped over to the toilet, expecting X to be brushing her teeth or taking a shower … but the door swung open to an empty bathroom when he pushed it. And suddenly, his irritation turned into fear. Had she left? Had someone taken her? Was she safe? What if she'd been kidnapped or … or what if she'd never even been there at all? But no, her toothbrush was by the sink, her damp towel was drying on the rack and her pyjamas were hanging behind the door. Miguel rushed out of his room, sniffing the air desperately for the sweet scent of the pancakes X liked to cook for them whenever he took a day off. Nothing. Then finally, he saw her standing in his living room, hovering by the Christmas tree Gabe had brought by his place a few days ago.

“X?” Miguel called, heading over to the stairs. He kept his gaze on the steps as he jogged down, taking care not to trip. “What are you doing, querida? I thought you hate-”

She turned around at the sound of his voice and grinned when she saw him freeze halfway down the stairs, his eyes roving over her wildly. He always looked so delicious in the mornings, his wavy hair all tousled, his cotton shirt all wrinkly, his features all grumpy from being roused from his slumber. He was so cute! But he didn't look grumpy now; if they were in a cartoon, she was sure that his jaw would have been touching the ground and his eyes would have been bulging exaggeratedly out of his head. It was the exact response she'd been hoping for.

“¡Buenos días, querido!” she greeted him brightly, as if she had no idea what the f*ck her unbelievably sexy outfit was doing to him right then. Ay, p*tas, where had she even gotten such a thing?! It was like some twisted, sexed-up Santa costume every conservative Christian mother would be petitioning to get banned on the streets: no way in hell was that thing safe for public consumption! Miguel's eyes travelled over her top, the long sleeves leaving her shoulders and collarbone bare before ending at her wrists in a fluffy, white cotton edging. The neckline dipped low into her cleavage, leaving very little to his imagination, especially with the way the scarlet material looked like it was struggling to contain her breasts. His eyes fell lower, past the cotton lining the hem of her shirt and the waistband of her miniskirt, and down to the sheer red stockings stretched over her legs, giving her normally tanned skin a wickedly scandalous tint. A myriad of curses and prayers flooded Miguel's mind as he shuffled down the last few steps to go over to his girlfriend. God have mercy on him: she really was going to be the death of him one day.

X clasped her hands behind her back when she noticed her boyfriend’s eyes lingering on her chest. Finally, he snapped his jaw shut and her nipples tingled with excitement at the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed down the saliva in his mouth. He was going to go feral on her today, she just knew it! She didn't celebrate Christmas, but she knew that he usually did given Gabriel's animated Christmas dinner planning when he'd dropped the tree off a few days ago. He'd be visiting them that night, leaving X the entire rest of the day to torture and tease her insanely gorgeous and sweet boyfriend! Miguel stepped forward, his eyes never leaving her chest, and just as she'd expected, he went for her breasts immediately.

She laughed as he closed his fingers around her soft flesh - actually laughed! Like he was just a silly little boy who didn't even know that he'd done something naughty! But his disbelief at her reaction was quickly replaced by another emotion when he realised that she wasn't wearing a bra underneath her shirt.

“F*ck,” he breathed, kneading her plush breasts gently in his hands. He licked his lips as his eyes followed the line running down the centre of her cleavage and suddenly, he became overcome with the overwhelming need to kiss her. He raised one hand to her cheek and slid his fingers into her hair to tug her closer to him, bringing their mouths together. X fell against him immediately, her knees going weak as he slipped his tongue between her lips and brushed it against hers. Miguel sucked in a breath as the sweet taste of his girlfriend flooded his mouth, then he slid his arm around her waist, gliding his palm across her bare skin.

He was kissing her so slowly, teasing her with every careful sweep of his tongue. She never could think properly when he kissed her like that. X wrapped her arms around her boyfriend’s neck and pressed her body against his, needing to feel his hard muscles melding so perfectly with her soft curves. But his muscles weren’t the only hard thing about him right then … 🤭 She let out a soft yelp as his already erect cock pressed against her abdomen, then she shivered when a low chuckle rumbled out of his chest in response. Her boyfriend moved both hands to her waist, then slid them down to her ass, his fingers crawling easily beneath the hem of her skirt to tickle her bare cheeks. Miguel let out another tortured moan, then dug his fingers into her flesh, forcing her to rub up against his centre. He rolled his hips against hers sloppily, too overcome with arousal to maintain a steady rhythm, then he slipped his thumbs into the waistband of her thong and began trying to slide it down her legs.

“Mmph! Wait! Stop!” X exclaimed, forcing herself away from him quickly. Miguel blinked at her, too dazed to comprehend what had just happened. Then his eyes sharpened with focus and he bared his fangs at her. He took a step forward, intending to pull her back to him and continue playing with his delicious little arañita … but she’d told him to stop, and he always stopped when she asked. So, he retracted the claws he hadn’t even realised had shot out of his fingertips and forced himself to step away from her.

Her core tightened at the way the muscles in his jaw feathered as he ground his teeth together. Then she looked up and her heart thumped excitedly when she saw his scarlet gaze trained on her, his thick brows pulled low over his upturned eyes. Holy shit, he was hot when he was mad - especially when he was mad at her for making him so aroused and then not letting him play with her however he wanted! X took in a deep breath, trying to extinguish the rapidly building heat gathering in her body, then she cleared her throat.

“I need to give you your Christmas present first,” she explained calmly, tilting her head and fluttering her long eyelashes up at him. “That’s how it works, right?”

His heart pounded angrily as she fixed him with such a sweet look, her innocent demeanour only serving to make him more aroused by all the dirty thoughts he was having about her in that outfit. He clenched his fists tightly, trying to diminish the irritation filling up his chest and pressing against his throat. But his voice still came out as a growl when he replied. “There are no rules for sex on Christmas, arañita.”

Another shiver danced down her spine at how low and rough his voice had become: oh, he was furious with her. The thought caused a wave of excitement to explode out of her stomach and wash over her chest and she narrowly managed to stop a giggle from bubbling out of her mouth - that would probably only make him more apoplectic with rage! She took a few deep breaths, calming herself down, but she could still feel the blush in her cheeks as he kept his eyes trained on her, waiting impatiently for her to give him her permission. She straightened and smoothed her expression as best as she could, then she turned around and bent over to grab his present from under the Christmas tree.

“P*ta madre, arañita,” Miguel’s pained groan came from behind her as her skirt flipped up to reveal her bare ass. “¡¿Por qué carajo me estás haciendo esto?! (Why the f*ck are you doing this to me?!)”

She giggled softly as she turned back to him with a flat, rectangular box in her hands and ay, Dios, she looked so cute with her adorable little smile and her shimmery, rosy makeup that his heart couldn’t help but flutter in his chest. X tucked the box under one arm, then took hold of his hand and started leading them back up the stairs. Miguel remained silent as he followed behind her, his eyes unsure of which part of her they wanted to linger on: her delicate shoulders? The sliver of exposed skin between her shirt and her skirt? The smooth curve of her round ass? F*ck. Finally, she stopped outside his door and handed him the box.

“Let me know when you're done!” she told him, pushing him into his bedroom and shutting the door behind him. And then he was alone again.

Miguel hopped over to his bed, feeling like a little kid on Christmas day who couldn't wait to tear open his gifts and see what he'd gotten. He sat down and started unwrapping the box, careful not to destroy his girlfriend's meticulous wrapping, then he furrowed his brows when saw what was inside. He cautiously lifted the red fabric out of the box and his heart stopped when he realised what it was: a sexy Santa costume. ¡Ay, p*ta madre! He shook his head in disbelief, thinking about little him innocently unwrapping his Christmas presents by the tree, completely unaware that he'd one day grow into a big, strong man who'd be lucky enough to land such a sweet and sexy little girlfriend who would adore him like he was the greatest thing to have ever graced the Earth. He chuckled softly, then switched his pyjamas with the costume. He went over to his bathroom to get a quick glance at himself and his heart thudded rapidly when he saw the generous slice of his chest exposed by the deep v cut of the shirt: X was going to lose her mind when she saw him.

She bounced in position gleefully, unable to contain her excitement. Eventually, the door clicked open and she walked into the room to find her boyfriend dressed up in the effing hot Santa outfit she’d found online. Her heart thumped rapidly at the sight of him, the defined lines of his broad chest exposed so deliciously down to the bottom of his ribs. Her body heated up - so quickly she thought she might spontaneously combust! - and she closed her eyes for a second as a wave of arousal threatened to knock her off her feet. She blinked her eyes open and pulled a deep breath of air into her lungs, then she clasped her hands behind her back and smiled.

“Santa?” she asked, fluttering her eyelashes up at him as she made her way over to him. “Is it my turn to finally get my Christmas present?”

She slid her hands along Miguel’s shoulders and barely suppressed a gasp when she heard his breath hitch at their sudden proximity. X swallowed hard and kept her gaze fixed on a loose strand of his hair curling around his ear, studiously avoiding looking at his lips.

“I’ve been such a good girl, you know,” she continued, her voice rising in pitch as she got into her role, “all year long! I’ve always helped you so much, Santa! I’ve been crowned most hardworking elf for three years in a row! Aren’t you going to give me my reward for being such a good girl?”

She finally lifted her gaze to his and Miguel felt a wave of dizziness hit him as she fixed him with an adorable little pout. F******ck. He really was in for it today. He kept his fists clenched by his sides, knowing he wouldn’t be able to restrain himself if his hands slid around her bare waist.

“What do you want for your reward, princesa?” he asked, his voice still coming out gruff with barely controlled impatience. X bit her lip and let her eyes fall back down to his chest. God, his tanned skin looked so delicious that her mouth started watering at the very sight of it! She let her fingers drift down his torso, grazing his skin lightly, and another smile tugged on her lips as he tensed up at the feeling.

“Mmm, you’re Santa, right?” she flicked her gaze up to his, a knowing expression on her face. “Shouldn’t you already know?”

He grabbed her chin and glared down at her, his lips twisted into a frown. She continued to smile up at him as his eyes trailed over her features and it just made his blood pound through his veins even harder. He let out a huff, then lowered his gaze to her body, taking her in carefully. She looked so f*cking delicious that his core was already throbbing with the need for her - and she hadn’t even touched him yet! He let his hand drift down to her throat and clasped it loosely, holding her in position as he bent forward. Then he pressed his lips to hers.

Her knees buckled beneath her as he grazed his lips against hers. X let out a small yelp and clutched her boyfriend’s shirt, trying to keep herself upright. So, he slid his arms around her, finally allowing himself to indulge in her. His tongue parted her lips as he swept his hands across her body, running them all over her to squeeze every soft curve his fingers landed on and stroke every inch of bare skin he could find. X stumbled in his arms as Miguel turned her around and began walking her backwards to his bed, his hands dipping underneath her clothing now to graze the bottoms of her breasts and tickle the base of her abdomen. A violent shudder wracked through her body as her p*ssy started leaking at the sensation and Miguel grunted into her mouth before lifting her up and tossing her onto the bed.

Her eyelids fluttered rapidly as she tried to regain control over her senses, her lips parted in stunned confusion. They’d been red and glossy when she’d first looked up at him with that adorable little pout, but they were only slightly rosy now, the shine and colour having quickly faded away. Miguel brushed the corner of his lips with his thumb and snickered softly when it came away red, then he climbed on top of X and pressed his lips to the side of her neck. He kissed her gently, letting his lips linger for a moment before he sucked her skin softly and pulled away. He grinned when he saw the faint patches of red indicating where his mouth had been and delved back in to begin making a trail down to her collarbone: he wanted to see his lips marking every inch of her skin, warning everyone that she was his and no one else’s. A groan escaped his throat as he continued further down to her chest, the image of her naked body covered with the scarlet outline of his lips driving him mad with desire, then he pulled back slightly to undo the buttons on her shirt.

She sucked in a breath as he squeezed the now loose fabric of her shirt in his hands, his mouth brushing teasingly against her ribs. Then he released the material and cupped her breasts, forcing a gasp out of her. Her boyfriend licked and nibbled her skin, satisfied moans and groans pouring from his mouth as his hands continued to play with her breasts. X wrapped her legs around his waist and wriggled her hips against his body, trying to soothe the frustrated throbs of her p*ssy … but Miguel only leaned more heavily on her, holding her firmly against the mattress as he replaced one of his hands with his lips.

He alternated between sucking and licking her already pebbled nipple, ignoring her desperate writhing beneath him so he could enjoy her the way he wanted to. Finally, when his tongue felt numb from running across the stiff little peak of her nipple, he moved his mouth to her other breast, closing it around the entire mound of flesh this time. He lay his head on his arm as he suckled on her lazily, letting some of the adrenaline dissipate from his body, then he inhaled deeply and released her with a wet ‘pop’. He nibbled his way back up to the base of her ear, suddenly overcome with the need to sink his fangs into her soft flesh, then he let them loose and began trailing the tips down her body.

He was so careful not to prick her skin, his considerate movements so at odds with his earlier demeanour. X twisted her fingers in the bed sheets as her legs tightened around Miguel’s waist again, her p*ssy practically weeping now for any sort of friction, and Miguel slipped his arm beneath her back as she arched off the bed involuntarily. She buried her fingers in his hair as he dipped his hand into the back of her skirt, undoing the zip with his thumb, then she moved her hands to his shoulders so she could lift her ass up enough for him to slide it down her legs.

He stood up and studied her for a moment, her glistening breasts heaving up and down as she panted for breath, her eyes glazed over with lust as she looked up at him, then he undid his belt and let his pants fall to the ground. He kept his gaze fixed on her as he took himself in his hand, the beautiful sight of her enough to have him rock-hard in his own fist as he pumped himself slowly.

She swallowed hard and blinked drowsily as another tsunami of arousal turned her brain momentarily numb. Holy freaking shite! He looked so effing hot, standing there and staring at her while his own freaking fingers slid up and down the length of his swollen cock. Miguel inhaled slowly as his eyes travelled down the length of her body and X watched, transfixed, as he moved his fingers to the end of his shaft and began circling his own tip with his thumb. He kept his movements slow, lazy, toying with himself as he continued to train his focus on her, and X felt a stream of arousal gush out of her when his thumb began glistening with his own prec*m. She closed her eyes as they rolled around in her head, then quickly opened them again to see what he would do next.

Miguel breathed in again as his core tightened pleasingly, his body reacting with excitement to his own teasing, then he abandoned his tip and nodded to the top of his bed.

“Lie down,” he commanded his girlfriend, the gentle firmness in his voice enough to pull her out of her stunned silence. “Ass up.”

X dragged her round eyes away from his cock and snapped her jaw shut before nodding at him obediently. She scrambled to the top of the bed and arranged herself in a comfortable position, then waited patiently for his next command. Miguel chuckled softly and crawled onto the bed, nudging her legs apart to settle himself between them. He curled his fingers around the backs of her thighs and smirked at the way her toes curled as he pushed them up the bed, spreading her out so that the cool air tickled her p*ssy through the thin material of her thong. Then he pressed his palm against her ass and began sliding his fingers down her middle.

She clenched her jaw tightly - and all her other muscles too - trying desperately to keep herself from crying out helplessly. She was supposed to be an innocent little elf, after all, and there was just something so thrilling about quietly receiving her reward while pretending not to realise how naughty it really was! But she just couldn’t stop the small squeaks and whimpers that kept falling out of her mouth, even when she pressed her lips into the pillow to try to muffle herself. Miguel chuckled against her, his long fingers moving painstakingly slowly along her most excited bits, and this time, an entire moan forced itself out of her throat!

“Don’t be shy, preciosa,” her boyfriend assured her, his voice smooth and velvety. “How will I know if I’m doing a good job if you don’t tell me?”

Miguel lowered his mouth to her shoulder and pressed a lingering kiss to X’s bare skin before returning his lips to the base of her ear.

“I just want to make sure my favourite little elf is getting the reward she deserves,” he continued, his words coaxing another stream of arousal of out her already dripping p*ssy. “You know I’d be nothing without you, right, mi princesa?”

F*ck, she was cute, trembling helplessly beneath him, her knuckles going white with the force with which she was gripping her pillow. Miguel slid his hands around her waist and settled himself on top of her, positioning his cock against her slick p*ssy. Then he began rolling his hips slowly, grinding himself against her at a deliciously lazy pace.

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to give you your reward,” he continued, relishing the cute little exclamations that kept escaping her mouth, “but I know how hard you work to make sure I get all those kids their presents in time for Christmas. You always work so hard to keep me happy, princesa, how could I not do the same for you?”

Her brain started buzzing as his cock continued to brush against her clit, pushing her to the edge of her pleasure. But all of a sudden, he pulled away, and flipped her onto her back before she could make sense of what was happening. X blinked up at him in a daze, disoriented by their sudden switch in position and Miguel fixed her with a wicked smile as he tugged her thong aside.

He slid himself into her without warning and shuddered violently when he feel her soaked p*ssy welcoming him into its warmth. Miguel closed his eyes as they rolled back with pleasure, then he shook his head, dispelling some of the fog that clouded his brain. He bit his lip as he leaned over his girlfriend and his core throbbed delightfully when he saw his shaft buried inside of her. Ay, mierda, she felt so f*cking good! He sucked in a breath, calming himself down so that he wouldn’t climax the second he thrust himself inside of her, then he sat back and slowly began moving his hips.

She wriggled her legs around his waist, unable to stop the choked gasps that poured from her throat every time his hot cock slid against her walls. She didn’t know how, but every time they had sex, it somehow felt ten times better than the last time! And they had a lot of sex!

X reached up as Miguel continued rolling his hips, brushing her fingers against his warm and solid chest. And then, holy shit, and then he began taking his shirt off, prompting the lines of his pecs and shoulders to come into sharp focus as he shrugged the sleeves off. X shook her head as her eyes flickered around the room wildly, the white-hot arousal taking over her brain, and barely managed to hang onto her focus enough to see his abs tighten and relax with each pleasurable thrust of his hips. But that was the last straw for her, because soon, her back was arching off the bed, her hips bucking uncontrollably as she came. She almost missed the smug chuckle her boyfriend let out as he leaned over her, his hips moving hard and fast to match the movements of hers, keeping his cock nestled securely inside of her while she writhed and squirmed underneath him. He maintained his unrelenting pace even as he began coming too, the warmth of his seed spilling inside of her drawing her orgasm out even longer!

“Mmmm … f***ck …” Miguel groaned, his voice so low and so full of satisfaction that the words were barely more than a rumble out of his chest! He lowered himself on top of his girlfriend, his hips slowing down as his c*m started draining out of him, then he lay his head on her shoulder, stealing a moment to catch his breath.

She lay unmoving in his arms, her brain still devoid of any thought as she slowly came down from her high. She turned her head slightly to meet Miguel’s gaze as he pushed himself up and she forced another breath into her lungs as he grinned at whatever he saw on her face.

“Awww,” Miguel laughed, lowering his lips to the wet trail running down her cheek. “¿Qué pasó, mi princesa? (What happened, my princess?) You didn’t like your Christmas gift?”

He moved his mouth to her other cheek and gently licked up the salty streak there before continuing. “I can always get you another one if-”

“No!” X interjected quickly, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend’s neck and pulling him close to her. “No, I …”

She slid her hand down his back as her own arched off then bed, and moaned softly as her fingers travelled over the hard curves of his deliciously broad muscles.

“I loved it, Santa. Best. Christmas gift. Ever!” she confirmed, grinning up at him when he pulled back to look at her. Miguel’s eyes immediately fell down to her lips and he sank his teeth into his own as his girlfriend dragged her nails along his scalp.

“Good,” he said, brushing his lips teasingly against hers. “I’d hate for my pretty little elf to be disappointed on Christmas.”

He continued to smile as he slid his tongue into her mouth and his heart fluttered excitedly when his adorable little girlfriend giggled softly at his obvious pleasure.

“Next time, don’t wait until Christmas to come and get your reward, princesa,” Miguel murmured against her lips in between slow and lingering kisses. “Santa doesn’t like his elves to feel neglected, you know? I want to make sure that all of you always know how grateful I am for you; how appreciative I am of all the hard work that you do for me.”

God, she could feel herself starting to get wet again at his smooth tone - at the delightfully wicked undercurrent to his words. She sucked in a breath as her boyfriend wrapped his strong arms tighter around her, his lips and tongue moving so mouth-wateringly slowly against hers. But then he pulled back and gazed at her with wide eyes, his expression serious.

“Promise me you won’t wait a whole year to come and get your reward, mi princesita perfecta?” Miguel asked. His girlfriend nodded her head eagerly and Miguel smiled before lowering his mouth to her neck this time. “Mmm, that’s my good little elf. You always work so hard to take care of me, preciosa. Will you let me take care of you, too? Will you let Santa do this one thing for you, mi bonita?”

She shivered as he nipped her earlobe, then wrapped her legs around him as he snickered against her skin, his warm breath tickling the crook of her neck. She swallowed hard as her p*ssy began throbbing around his cock again, her body heating up with excitement at his satisfied moans and groans. “Y-Yes, S-Santa! I-I …”

A whine forced its way out of her mouth as her cervix contracted hard and Miguel groaned loudly as she curled herself around him and buried her fingers in his hair. “Mmmmm …”

Another shudder wracked her body as his chest vibrated against hers.

“M-M-Mi … S-Santa!” X whined, almost forgetting what was happening as her boyfriend’s sexed-up scent clouded her thoughts. God, he smelled so good when he was aroused! She inhaled deeply, greedily soaking up his scent, and her tongue fell out of her mouth as he began grinding himself deep inside of her. Miguel pulled back slightly and laughed when he saw the look on her face.

“But querida,” he began, his gravelly voice raking over her spine and drawing a shiver out of her, “why would such a good girl ... wear such a naughty outfit?”

“I … I …” X gasped, desperately trying to suck in a breath as her body writhed around on the bed. ���I was just … doing what you told me to, Santa … You said … You said … you were going to promote me … for being such a hardworking elf … and then … and then you said … not to take my new uniform off … especially whenever I came to see you in your office …”

¡Ay, mierda! Santa had given his pretty little girlfriend such a naughty outfit?! And then made her wear it every time she visited him in his office?! What a wicked devil he was! Miguel sighed and covered X’s breasts with his hands, squeezing them gently before leaning over her and peppering her skin with kisses. His hips picked up their pace as his lips made their way across her chest, spurred on by the uncontrollable need to be so deeply intertwined with his love. Miguel grunted and kicked at the mattress as he slid his hands down to the back of X’s thighs, trying to push himself even deeper into his precious little girlfriend’s warm and soft little body. He buried his face in her neck as he fumbled with her legs, grabbing them so he could push them against her chest, then he wrapped his arms all the way around her waist, folding her in half against him.

Holy shit … he was pounding into her so hard that she was sure there'd be an imprint of her left in the mattress when he was done! X moaned loudly, unable to do anything more than lie back and take her boyfriend’s dick. Her eyes rolled around as his cock squelched inside of her body, his thick girth filling her up so completely that she couldn’t even pinpoint where he ended and she began. But somehow, she managed to slide her hands around his waist and curl her fingers around his pert cheeks.

“F********ck,” he groaned, losing his mind at the way she squeezed his ass in time to the rhythm of his hips. Dios, she was so, so ... lovely! He sucked in a breath as the white-hot pleasure started creeping in on the edges of his brain, rapidly taking over his thoughts. Then his brain turned completely numb with ecstasy and he eased his pace to grind himself into her deep and slow. He continued to lie in her arms when he’d finished, utterly swept up in her scent, her touch, her love that she showered him with every second of every day. Finally, she wriggled her arms out from under his and reached up to brush his damp curls.

“Mmm, mi princesa,” Miguel murmured, his warm breath tickling her neck. “Mi querida … Mi cariño … Mi amor … Mi cielo … Te amo, mi querida … Te amo … (Mmm, my princess ... My darling ... Mi sweetheart ... My love ... My heaven/angel ... I love you, my darling, I love you ...)”

X giggled softly at his barely coherent praises and continued stroking his hair until he turned them over onto their sides. She smiled up at him softly as his eyes flickered over her face, his expression unreadable, then she stretched up to give his nose a quick peck. Immediately, his lips stretched wide into a grin and his gaze softened as her eyes met his again. Then X’s eyes widened and Miguel’s heart stopped when he saw the corners of her lips twist up with mischief.

“Oh!” X exclaimed, shooting up in her seat. “I should pretend to be Mrs Claus now!”

She dashed into the bathroom before Miguel could respond and he let out an exaggerated groan as he covered his face with his hands. Dios, was it too much to ask to just lie in each other’s arms for a while as they came down from their highs? He’d already done her goddamned roleplay! Miguel pushed himself up and moved to sit on the edge of his bed, then waited impatiently for his insane girlfriend to return to him.

“Mr Claus!” Miguel looked up as he heard X’s furious exclamation and was confused to find that she’d wiped some of her makeup off and changed into one of his red shirts. He wasn’t quite sure what was happening now, but his girlfriend didn’t give him a chance to comprehend before she stormed over to him in anger. “What the heck do you think you’re doing?! Stumbling around in here completely naked and dripping with sweat! What if someone-”

She stopped suddenly to let out a horrified gasp, as if she’d just made an atrocious discovery. Then she frowned and wagged her finger at him disapprovingly. “You were with that elf girl, weren’t you! Hmph! I told you to watch yourself around her, but noooooo! You just couldn’t keep it in your pants, could you, Mr Claus! No wonder you’ve been working out so hard the whole year! I bet she just loved the Christmas present you gave her, didn’t she?!”

Miguel stared blankly at her, still trying to understand her sudden shift in demeanour. Was she … supposed to be his wife?! But he was … having an affair?! With one of his elves?! Miguel swallowed hard as his stomach flipped at the naughtiness of it all, then he closed his eyes to ride out the dizzying wave of arousal that crashed into him. He shook his head when it had passed, then stood up and held his hands out to his girlfriend, gesturing for her to go over to him.

X folded her arms across her chest as she stepped into his embrace. Her boyfriend kept a loose grip on her waist as she craned her head back to look up at him and didn't respond even as she fixed him with a threatening glare.

“Well?!” she pressed when he continued to remain silent. “Are you just gonna stand there and- Mmph!”

He slid one hand beneath her shirt and the other up the back of her neck, pulling her close to him and silencing her with a kiss. X relaxed into his touch, letting herself be swept away by the feeling of his mouth on hers, his hands making their way under her clothes and wandering across her bare skin. She barely even noticed when he picked her up and sat down on the edge of the bed, cuddling her against his chest. X raised an eyebrow at him in question. “What was that for?”

Her boyfriend's lips parted and his gaze grew unfocused again as he tried to recall what he'd been trying to do. “Shut up for a second.”

X's eyes widened again and her lips twisted into a genuine frown this time. She opened her mouth to reprimand him, but Miguel stopped her quickly.

“Wait!” he exclaimed, a pleading undertone in his voice. “I need to think.”

X sat back and waited patiently as he puzzled through his thoughts, her fingernails lightly running over his forearms.

“So, I'm Santa,” Miguel began finally, “and I'm having an affair with one of my elves. And my wife knows about it? She knew about it before it began?!”

His voice rose in volume with every sentence that he spoke and X snickered softly as the increasing shock on his handsome face.

“Yup!” she agreed, her confirmation only making him even more confused.

“Then why didn't she do anything to stop me?!”

“I don't know!” X shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. “Why didn't you do anything to stop yourself?”

“I didn't … That wasn't me, arañita!” Miguel argued, his frustration rising. But then his girlfriend's lips wobbled and a laugh burst out of her mouth, and the sound of her amusement put him back at ease. Miguel shook his head and wrapped his arms back around her as he chuckled along with her.

“It's just a roleplay, Miguel,” X pointed out, cupping his cheek in her hand to admire his dark features. Miguel leaned forward to press a kiss to her cheek, then he lowered his mouth to the crook of her neck and placed another kiss there.

“So, got any more surprises for me tonight, querida?” X laughed at his smooth tone and smacked his shoulder as she pushed herself off of him.

“Your brother will be joining us for dinner tonight, remember, hermoso?” She flicked him on the nose and Miguel felt his heart swell at the gesture and praise.

“Yeah, but he has to go home sometime, right?” Miguel pointed out, getting up and following her to the bathroom.

“I don't know,” X replied, biting her lip to try to hide her naughty smile. “I was planning on asking him if he wants to stay over. We could watch a cheesy Christmas movie or something?”

Miguel placed his hand on the door, catching it before X could close it on him. She pressed her lips together as she turned to face him, her eyes as round and innocent as she could make them, and Miguel raised an eyebrow as he flashed her a challenging smirk. X gulped as her stomach flipped at the look on his face and Miguel reached down to grab her by the waist. “And what makes you think my brother's going to want to third wheel us the entire night?”

“Ummm …” X trailed off as her boyfriend slipped her clothes off and lifted her onto his waist, easily carrying her over to the shower. “What were we talking about?”

Miguel laughed at her question and set her down so he could wrap her up in a hug. “Te amo, mi arañita loca. (I love you, my crazy little spider.)”

X grinned. “Te amo también, mi araña loco. (I love you too, my crazy spider.)”

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