#if you haven't read everything up through 2020 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunburnhurts · 7 months ago

Note

may i request cedric diggory x f!reader comforting her in a moment of grief of her father passing away! can’t wait see the fanfics you write :)

Comforting | Cedric Diggory x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n's father passes away and Cedric helps her work through her grief. (After the tournament and ofc he doesn't die in it in this story)

Warnings: Mentions of fathers death, a lot angst in the beginning, comforting and I think thats it lol!

Words: 1,317

All My Stories

A/n: Aww thank you so much! ofc!! Thank you for being my first requester!! If anything is wrong pls tell me bc I haven't watched the movies since 2020 haha I have just been reading fanfics lolll. Also, idk what Hogwarts would do if a students parent would die or something so this is probably wrong sorry haha

Just like every other morning, Cedric walks to the Great Hall to start his day with having breakfast with his girlfriend, Y/n. They have been dating for 2 months and everything was going great. Cedric took her on dates, Y/n helped him through the stress before and after the Triwizard Tournament, and they were always there for each other.

Y/n wasn't much to show when something was wrong, during her relationship there was never a time where she would pick fights or make anything about her. She was a very selfless person and that was one of the things Cedric loved about her.

Cedric sat down in his normal seat, next to an empty spot which usually has Y/n in it. Maybe she woke up a bit late, he told himself, not thinking anything of it. A few minutes went by and he assumed that she was in bed sick, so he grabbed a piece of toast to bring up to her.

Once he got to her room, he knocked softly a few times. When he didn't hear any movement, he whispered as he reached for the handle of the door, "Y/n, its Cedric. I'm coming in, okay?"

He slowly opened the door and peeked his head through, looking around to see if there was any sign of Y/n. Her bed was messy, but empty. Cedric grew a little confused at the unusual situation, but he made sure to keep himself calm. Still being unstable from the second Triwizard task where he had to save her, he grew worried.

Wondering where his girlfriend could be, Cedric crosses his fingers in hopes everything is okay and he will see her in their first class together.

Cedric felt weird walking alone to class, usually Y/n and him would be walking hand in hand, talking to him about random things. They would talk about the next prank the Weasley twins were going to pull, or what their plans were for the upcoming summer.

When Cedric sat down to another empty seat that is supposed to be occupied by Y/n, he grew more worried. Usually if his girlfriend was sick or something she would tell him and not just disappear.

As the class went on, Cedric decided to look for Y/n again. He asked his professor if he could use the bathroom and once he was allowed, he walked out and started thinking of where she could be.

While walking through the halls, he comes across one of Y/n's friends, Angelina. "Hey, have you seen Y/n anywhere?" Cedric tried asking calmly, but Angelina could tell he was a little nervous.

"Yeah, we were walking down to breakfast together but we got stopped by Professor Mcgonagall. She asked Y/n to come with her to her office, so I'm assuming she is still in there." Angelina responded, flashing a smile in hopes to calm her best friend's boyfriend down.

Angelina thought it was so cute how the boy her best friend always wanted so bad was worried about her. Angelina knew always knew they wanted each other, so she tried helping Y/n out and told her to make a move, but stubborn Y/n didn't want to and was scared that he didn't care about her as much as she cared about him. But obviously that was wrong.

Cedric nods and walks with a little speed to Professor Mcgonagall's office. Before arriving at the door to the office, he notices a girl walk out of the office with her hand to her face. Cedric recognized it as his girlfriend and her face was red, she walk walking slow, and she looked deep in thought.

As soon as Cedric identifies the girl, he jogs over to her and calls her name. She doesn't answer until he catches up to her and puts a hand to her back. He notices her eyes have no light in them, no look of happiness on her face. "Y/n, love, whats wrong?" Cedric says as he wraps his arms around the girl.

She looks up at him, her eyes red from crying and her eyebrows slightly furrowed. She takes the hand off her mouth and sinks into her boyfriend, tears start flowing out of her again.

"My dad," Y/n starts, hugging Cedric back. She could barely get the words out of her mouth. Her head felt fuzzy, her body, numb. "he died."

Cedric's heart dropped, a dark sorrow formed in his body. "Y/n," He didn't know what to say. "I'm so sorry." He tightened his grip on the grieving girl. "Lets go to your dorm okay?" Y/n nodded.

As they made their way up to Y/n's room, Cedric never let go of his girl. He tried thinking of ways he would be able to comfort her, he just couldn't find good words to comfort her.

Y/n sat on her bed as Cedric closed the door. Once he turned around, he saw Y/n looking at the floor, staring into space. His heart ached even more at the sight, the love of his life going through something he couldn't imagine.

He walked over to her and sat next to her so he was facing her. Cedric gently cupped the side of Y/n's cheek so she would look at him. Her head turned, but her eyes delayed in moving. Once she was looking at him, Cedric asked, "What do you need me to do?"

"I don't know." The girl responds, truly not knowing what she wants. Cedric uncupped her cheek and grabbed both of Y/n's hands. Y/n turned her body to face Cedric, she sat criss-cross.

"Do you want to cuddle?" He asks, hoping to lighten the mood a little. The girls eyes shot up to his and she huffs a little laugh, she nods. Cedric moved to the top of Y/n's bed and had his arms open for Y/n to craw into.

Y/n craws up to her boyfriend and places her head and hand on his chest. Cedric starts rubbing her back in hopes to distract Y/n from whatever she was thinking of. He hears a sigh and feels her relax into him.

"I'm sorry for not going to breakfast." Y/n says quietly.

"Please don't be. When you didn't show up I assumed you were sick so I went up here to your room but you weren't here. So then I thought you went to our first class, but when you weren't there I knew something was wrong." Cedric explained.

"Sounds like you went through a lot just to find me." Y/n joked.

"I'd go through anything to find you." Cedric responded seriously. Hearing this, Y/n looked up at her boyfriend with a gleam in her eyes.

"Really?" She said smiling.

"Really." He said. Y/n leaned and connected lips with the love of her life. They kissed softly and passionately, which Y/n needed.

"Wait aren't you supposed to be in class?" Y/n said slightly moving away from the kiss.

"You're more important." Cedric said, which made Y/n smile and made her kiss him again. "I love you so much Y/n." He mumbled against her lips.

Cedric felt her smile as she responded, "I love you so much Cedric."

Over the course of months, Cedric would comfort Y/n whenever she was feeling sad or zoning out. He would take her on dates and hold her hand whenever she wasn't smiling.

Y/n's best friend, Angelina, made sure to tell her about how worried Cedric was about her when he couldn't find her. Angelina also made sure to tell Y/n how much she loved the pair together and how she hopes to find a man who loves her as much as the pair loves each other.

The End

A/N: Heyy! I feel like I wrote "Y/n" or "Cedric" too many times im so sorry lollll. I hope you love this!!! Please request if you have anything you would like to read! I want to only do Cedric but I would be open to a few other people like Fred. Again I do not do smut. I also just want to say I have no clue how it feels to lose someone so close to me so I am so sorry if I didn't depict it correctly. Thank you so much for reading!

52 notes · View notes

batmanisagatewaydrug · 10 months ago

Note

Top 5 comics that aren't bat related?

GOD okay I'm admittedly so so behind on my non-Bat comic reading because trying to read Everything Published In A 15 Year Period is fucking TIME CONSUMING, but! but but but!!! I have some fun ones!! also as always these are not in ANY particular order!

Thirsty Mermaids (Kat Leyh, 2021)

first off: yes we are including graphic novels! that's just a honkin big comic! nobody @ me! anyway, I read Thirsty Mermaids in one sitting on an airplane earlier this year and it was delightful. it follows three mermaid besties who turn themselves into humans and go ashore in search of booze, only to get stuck when the party mage can't remember how to turn them back. what follows is a mix of shenanigans and genuinely heartwarming character development as the trio cope with being landlocked and try to survive capitalism. there's a high potential for a story like this to get cloyingly oversentimental, but Thirsty Mermaids struck the right balance for me the whole way through and never went overboard.

also, the character designs are soooooo fun. look at them!

2. My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2016)

MLEWL is one of those books that actually completely lives up to the hype and then some, and it totally knocked me on my ass the first time I read it. I didn't really know what to expect going in, but I was totally blown away by how boldly Nagata's willing to share the ugliest parts of her life through this reflection. it's so much more than romance and yearning (and that isn't even really resolved by the book's end! Nagata continues to struggle with interpersonal relationships in later books, which you should also read!), and it felt really refreshing to see such an honest depiction of how much being depressed and anxious and insecure can just fucking suck. but at the same time, Nagata's ability to turn all of that into art and process what she's experienced in a really levelheaded way as she finds the will to grow and change is really affirming.

I have to give a special note of appreciation to the actual sex scene and how intimacy is negotiated between Nagata and the sex worker she hires, especially the ultimate realization that sex is just an act and losing her virginity didn't really change anything about why she was unhappy in her life. as a sex educator, I really appreciated the honesty and sheer practicality of how it was all framed.

3. Nimona (ND Stevenson, 2015)

hi okay yes basic bitch alert I'M AWARE, but I reread Nimona last year to remind myself of why I didn't want to watch the Netflix adaptation and I was so right for that, because OG Nimona fucks so much harder. it's heartfelt but also chaotic and violent and funny and deeply jaded; I think when I mentioned it in my monthly reading synopsis here I described it as weird art for pissed off queer people by a weird pissed off queer person. and I stand by that! if you haven't read it already or if you haven't in a while, it's right there waiting for you with an open invitation to burn the entire corrupt government to the ground.

I know the word feral is overused and therefore cringe but christ, comic Nimona is feral. come on, man. just let her kill your ex. he's a cop.

4. Superman Smashes the Klan (Gene Luen Yang and Gurihiru, 2020)

I had to get one DC comic in here, sue me! it's not Batman-related at all! it's a really rad Superman story that takes place in the 1940s and loosely reimagines an old radio serial, "Clan of the Fiery Cross," the was pretty much a 16-part hit piece on the KKK that was hugely successful in tarnishing their reputation and getting membership to drop. how cool is that? in this version we follow Lee family, Chinese-Americans who have just moved to Metropolis and are met with harassment from the local Klansmen, contrasted with Clark, early in his hero career, still figuring out the full extent of his alien abilities. you get some really nice parallel storytelling between the Lee kids, Tommy and Roberta, exploring what it means to be part of two different cultures at the same time Clark is going through something similar figuring out how to be a representative of two totally different planets, and it all works out in a way that's really sweet. now that I have a friend who's a baby I can't wait until he's old enough to get a copy.

it's an extremely comic book-y comic but in, like, the best way possible.

5. Hawkeye (Matt Fraction and David Aja, 2012-2015)

I can't believe I almost forgot to list tumblr darling Matt Fraction's Hawkeye! what do I even say about this series that hasn't been said already? I love the way Clint Barton is a sadsack piece of shit who's repeatedly ruined his own life, and I love rooting for him anyway because he's just trying so goddamn hard. and also because there's a teenage girl who stole his name and gimmick bullying him the whole time. (Kate Bishop you are everything to me and you will always be famous.) there are costumes and crime fighting but it's first and foremost a slice of life about a life that fucking sucks but keeps on trucking anyway, and that's so up my alley it's not even funny. a lot of the humor probably feels dated now but fuck it, the series is iconic for a reason.

MCU, eat your heart out.

bonus because I wrote out the whole thing and then decided I wanted to include a different one: Paper Girls (Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang, 2015-2019)

I'd be lying if I said that the thing about this series that I love first and foremost wasn't the art, because Chiang's art is breathtaking and I'll read anything ever if he does the art on it. but it's also just a super cool twisty, time-bending story about four girls getting roped into some high sci-fi bullshit when they're just trying to finish up their paper routes the morning after Halloween and having everything go to hell around them. I really respect a series that is committed to being weird and doesn't really care if you don't understand what's going on for a decent chunk of the plot, especially because it all comes together in a way that's pretty satisfying. waiting to read the whole series in one big run once it was all published so that I could track all the little hints and clues and things coming together across time travel bullshit was mwah, delicious.

also more than anything it's a story about how you Do Not fuck with 12 year old girls, especially in packs, because they're metal as hell, and I'm really about that.

#bookblr

54 notes · View notes

thegildedbee · 1 year ago

Text

Sherlock Fic Recs: Christmas Edition {2023}

❄️ Gather ~ ☃️ ☃️ ☃️ ~ 'round and 🎉 make 🎷merry🍹, all ye fic-loving fandom elves -- 'tis the season to shine a spotlight🕯️on Sherlockian Christmas fics!!! Here are some of my favorites -- I tried to pick ones that I haven't seen mentioned in recent lists that have been in my tumblr stream. Whether they're new to you, or just a reminder to re-visit faves, enjoy!!! ❄️ [In order of the year they were published.] ........................................................... 1. I'm Not His Date [2014] by objetpetita [ 17,029 words / T ] :: It all starts in a Boston coffee shop, where English professor Sherlock Holmes upends a visiting John Watson in a clever and fun "meet cute" (or "meet irritating-pompous-insufferable") in a whirlwind of Sherlockian proportions, and we're off to the races. There is a snowfight on the Common, Death Driving Miss Daisy: Lacan and Popular Culture, a Harry & Clara Christmas Eve wedding, witches, and a very boozy department party. It's as adorable as my favorite Christmas rom-com film, The Holiday. And it starts off with a corker of a first sentence: "It was morning, it was zero bloody degrees, everything around him was unfamiliar and American and cold, and John Watson was right on that inhuman precipice between still drunk and terribly hung over."

2. 5,687 (Approximately) [2015] by prettysailorsoldier [ 6,771 words / T ] :: Just a few years post-uni, Sherlock is enduring the agonies of a long-distance relationship with his boyfriend, who is on deployment in Afghanistan. During those times when John's on leave, the last people Sherlock wants to see are the idiots at the Met, so they've never caught sight of John and think he is a figment of Sherlock's imagination -- especially since he can't get home that Christmas. The set-up is sketched out with delightful fic flair, and the ending is not only sweet, but satisfyingly punitive [ c/o a very bamf John ]. The text messaging is some of my favorite writing in the Sherlock fandom -- their relationship in all of its multi-dimensionality comes through beautifully.

3. The 12 Truths of Christmas [2016] by @breath4soul [ 3,321 words / T ] :: This is a fic that has at its core the surfacing of unspoken emotional attraction betweenJohn and Sherlock via a very fun concept: “In place of some appalling or imbecilic gift inflicted upon me in the name of tradition on Christmas day, I propose that you provide me with one previously unknown fact about you for each day leading up to Christmas. 12 in total, John.” #9 has all the feels, and is a tour de force -- every time I re-read it it makes me break out in a smile, even though I know what's coming. Sherlock breaks out somewhat more: "Sherlock feels a flood of heat in several places at once. He stands up quickly and walks to his violin. He plays wild, erratic snaps of quick-paced music." The author has a whimsical and entirely understandable note to add: "You may fall in love with John reading this - I did." 4. The Romance Was There [2017] by @apliddell [ 4,011 words / G ] :: The author deserves an award for this being one of the best uses of Harry Watson in a fic, and of HW by Sherlock in a fic :-) 221B has never been cozier, Sherlock has never been more winsome, and John is a species type model of John in all of his clueless Johnness. The narrative dances along and sparkles and shines as seduction evolves, and Sherlock's rogueish charm is on full display. There's a poignant and endearing confessional letter, plus there's a Sherlock/Jeremy Brett reference that is absolute perfection in serving its role in helping the narrative quickstep the night away. 5. The Man in Aisle Ten [2020] by @blogstandbygo [ 1395 words / G ] :: Sherlock has several mysteries to unravel in the midst of Harrod's on Christmas Eve: what is the perfect gift for John? why is he having so much trouble identifying the perfect gift for John? and, incidentally, along the way to solving those, a local one. Luckily, Sherlock has Moira, master department store sleuth, to lead him to the solution. This fic is a small, perfect gift -- rather like the story's denouement --and is as witty as all of SBG's fics are. This is a veritable Peppermint Schnapps Hot Chocolate of a fic, warm, rich, sweet, delicious, tingly, and you'll find you reach the last bit much too fast, immediately requiring a refill. [ And there's a splendid podfic by @podfixx ! ]

..........................

*fic repost recruits, perhaps??? ❤️ @totallysilvergirl, @7-percent, @discordantwords, @helloliriels, @elwinglyre, @mydogwatson

#bbc sherlock #sherlock fic rec #johnlock #sherlock fic #reposting :-) helps the love go 'round xoxoxo #christmas #objetpetita #prettysailorsoldier #breath4soul #apliddell #standbygo

110 notes · View notes

specialagentartemis · 4 months ago

Note

hi artemis! a friend I made during artfight who doesn't have a tumblr account asked me to pass a question on to you!

they're wondering if you know of any good resources for researching more modern history. This is what they were interested in specifically:

"i am trying to think of somewhere i could find information about when cars started appearing in songs and i am absolutely blanking on how i could find things about this

i know the library of congress has a LOT of stuff [and a really good system for filtering the search results] but… i don't even know what i would enter into the search bar sjdhgj. cars?? songs?? the spread of motor vehicles??"

i know this isn't your specific area of expertise but i thought you might still have some thoughts, or be able to point them to someone else who could help. also, they asked me to tell you that you're very cool and they like your posts :) (i concur)

Aww, thanks! <3

Hmm unfortunately, this is not really a topic I know anything about. This is a combination topic/time period I don't study, and a method (corpus analysis) I haven't really done.

But I can talk about how I would go about it, because starting research from scratch is a specialized skill and it is Daunting.

First, I go to Wikipedia on my topic--let's try the Wikipedia page for "Lyrics." The "Academic Study" subheading has no references--pity. Ignoring most of the article text, I scroll down to the references. Scanning them, they're not that helpful, but "Further Reading" suggests Moore, Allan F. (2003). Analyzing Popular Music. That looks potentially useful! File that away.

All right, now I go to academic databases. My own university's library database and JSTOR are my first options. Let's try some keywords--technology in popular music. Hm, no, that's mostly turning back books and articles about the technology used to make and disseminate popular music, not references to technology in the lyrics. Wrong tack. Try technology popular music lyrics. Little bit better--it turns back The Bloomsbury Handbook of Rock Music Research, that sounds promising. The Bloomsbury Encyclopedia of Popular Music of the World, sounds like it could be a useful reference too. Still, this turns back a wide variety of things, none of them about cars. All right, "technology" was too broad a concept. We want to know about cars. Try cars popular music lyrics and automobiles popular music lyrics.

Aha! Here's some good stuff! "Sentiment analysis of popular-music references to automobiles, 1950s to 2010s" (Wu et al. 2022); "Experience economy in the making: Hedonism, play and coolhunting in automotive song lyrics" (Askegaard 2010); Driving Identities: At the Intersection of Popular Music and Automotive Culture (McLeod 2020); "Communicating cars: television, popular music and everyday life" (Alam 2020, a chapter within the book Race, Taste, Class and Cars). Now this is what we're talking about!

And reducing my search terms to cars in popular music, I turned up a book called Popular Music and Automobiles. Jackpot!

Tbh research is trying various keyword strings, and then sifting through a dozen irrelevant result for every relevant one. Identifying relevant-looking books and articles from titles and abstracts is also a skill. JSTOR is good but arbitrarily limited; Google Scholar is pretty good; Library of Congress has records of nearly everything but is in my experience kind of overwhelming unless you know precisely what you're looking for. University library databases are the best, if you have access to any.

However, once you've hit on something specific, the LOC is really, really good in this way: you can go to the page for the book you found--here's "Popular Music and Automobiles"--and then look at the subject tags. Automobiles--Songs and music--History and criticism is its own subject tag! You can see what other books have that subject tag!

... looks like, including Popular Music and Automobiles, it's only four. (and one of those is also McCloud's "Driving Identities," lol.) But, hey. That's two more books about the topic you didn't know about before!

These are the tactics I use when I want to research something new! Hope some of this was helpful.

#If you want access to any of those articles but can't get them. hmu #asks #ilovedthestars #research #history and the world

23 notes · View notes

bluenet13 · 4 days ago

Text

Christmas One Gingerbread Cookie at a Time - Read on AO3

Love, loss, new beginnings, and bittersweet endings: a journey through Carlos and TK's holidays across the years.

December 2020

The car is quiet as they drive to a restaurant for date night. The silence only interrupted by Carlos' soft voice when he asks, "So, how are you celebrating Christmas?" His fingers tap anxiously against the steering wheel in a nervous gesture he had surely picked up from TK.

"Christmas?" TK raises an eyebrow and looks at Carlos questionably, but his boyfriend is doing everything in his power to focus on the road ahead of them and not on him.

Carlos sighs when they have to stop at a traffic light, reluctantly turns to look at TK, and smiles tentatively at him. "Yes, Christmas. You know, the holiday happening in one week. That ring any bells?"

"I'm Jewish, Carlos," TK says matter-of-factly, "I haven't celebrated a real Christmas since my dad tried when I was seven. He forgot to defrost the turkey, then burned the ham and had to call his own firehouse to turn off the fire alarm."

Carlos grimaces. "I know." He stops and swallows a few times. "That you're Jewish, I mean, not that Captain Strand can't be trusted with Christmas dinner."

TK smiles and reaches a hand to stop Carlos' fidgeting one. He squeezes once and lets go so it can go back to tapping a finger on the stick shift. "Why? Are you asking me to Christmas with the Reyes?"

He means for his question to be lighthearted, teasing even, for it to be a way to break away some of the tension in the car and put his boyfriend at ease. He doesn't have to always walk on eggshells around him. But the way Carlos instantly freezes and seems to have stopped breathing triggers warning bells inside his head.

Ever since Alex, he has been looking for red flags everywhere and he has been determined to stop after that fateful night at the police station, but, seeing Carlos stare wide-eyed ahead, his fingers no longer tapping but holding onto the stick shift for dear life, all TK can see is red.

Still, he tries to calm down his racing heart. Tries to breathe deeply a few times, which is decisively hard since he doesn't want Carlos to notice. A beat passes, then another and another, and only when TK is sure he can talk without bursting into tears or throwing himself out of the moving car does he speak again.

"I'm kidding," TK whispers, and his breath hitches on the last three letters. "I haven't even met your parents yet."

He wants to say more, thinks he should say more, but he isn't in control enough to trust what would come tumbling out of his mouth if he did.

Carlos doesn't say anything. He is grasping the steering wheel like his life depends on it, like it's the only thing tethering him to this world, to this reality, and he's scared of letting go and simply drifting away forever.

TK kicks himself mentally for making that comment, even if he doesn't know why it's affecting Carlos so much. And maybe he doesn't want to know. But he can't doom their relationship for the third time in less than a year, so he pushes past his own apprehensions and sets his hand over Carlos's that is resting in between them. He runs his thumb over the back of his boyfriend's hand and smiles to himself when he sees some of the tension that had been there a second ago leave Carlos's shoulders.

"I was joking, I promise," he tries again, wishing Carlos were less good at hiding his feelings so he could see some of it on his face. "I'm perfectly content with listening to Harry Styles on repeat and eating Sufganiyot my mom brought."

That finally makes Carlos look at him out of the corner of his eye, and TK chuckles at the incredulous look on his face. "Sufganiyot," he repeats, more slowly this time, "they're like a cross between a beignet and a jelly donut, and we eat them for Hanukkah."

Carlos seems to slowly mull over the new information before his face breaks into the most adorable and equally blinding smile TK has ever seen. "Do you want to come over on Christmas' Eve and help me bake some cookies?"

TK's first instinct is to decline the invitation. He doesn't like to be an inconvenience, or to be invited somewhere out of pity. But Carlos's smile is truly blinding, and TK doesn't think he's that good of an actor, so he must really want him there.

"Sure," he finally says. Because a night not so long ago, under a multicolored sky, TK promised himself he would be the reason Carlos' smile was there in the first place, and not the man that wiped it away. So now, as Carlos parks in front of the restaurant, he nods and smiles back.

Carlos jumps a little, clapping his hands together, and lets out an honest to God squeal. It's cute, but TK's not about to admit that out loud.

"You won't regret it. My Christmas cookies are legendary," he promises excitedly, before looking at his watch and ushering TK out of the car and towards the restaurant because they're already late.

-x-x-x-

TK does in fact regret it.

And in retrospect, he should have seen it coming. This is the same man that turned a casual dinner into a five course dinner that could rival the best three Michelin stars restaurant and made him want to run for the hills. But his smile had been so earnest when he asked that TK didn't have the heart to turn him down. Even if that smile, and everything that hid behind, sometimes still made him want to lock away his heart and throw away the key.

It's that smile that TK chooses to focus on now as he dips his hand in the bag of red and green M&Ms and dutifully sprinkles them over the dough still sitting in the mixer.

There are gingerbread molasses, Classic Sugar, and Chocolate Chip cookies cooling in various racks on the kitchen counter, Gingerbread Man on the dining table waiting to be cooked, Snickerdoodle Bars and White Chocolate Barks hardening on Carlos's bed because they ran out of space in the kitchen and Carlos is adding the jelly to one half of the Linzer Star Sandwiches while the tops finish baking in the oven.

The house looks like a poor man's bakery and TK belatedly wishes he had asked for more information when Carlos extended the invitation. Because apparently, to Carlos, baking cookies means baking hundreds of assorted cookies because it's a Carlos Reyes tradition to give a box to all his family members and friends, which also includes mailing one to those no longer living in Austin.

"Why did you wait until the night before Christmas if you wanted to bake enough cookies to rival an Oreo factory?" TK asks distractedly, his tongue sticking out as he concentrates on scooping the dough in the exact amount Carlos had shown him and setting them on the tray at the adequate distance so they don't, quote unquote, "run against each other, making one mess of a giant cookie like that one time his sister tried to help and ruined Christmas".

Carlos snorts and stops what he's doing to look apologetically up at him. "I usually start baking the week before Christmas, but work and other things have been keeping me pretty busy this year."

"So, you only invited me because you were behind schedule and needed an assistant?" TK shakes his head, feigning annoyance. "Unbelievable."

Carlos drops his spatula and turns panicked eyes to TK. He opens his mouth, but TK swallows whatever he was about to say with a kiss. "Hey, I'm kidding. I'm happy to be here."

Carlos' hands are sticky with powdered sugar and frosting, but he still cups TK's cheeks and kisses him again before he strays too far away. "I'm really happy you're here," he breaths against his lips when they part again.

TK nods, closing his eyes, and rests his forehead on Carlos'. "This sure beats listening to music and eating pastries alone," he says sincerely, before a cheeky grin overtakes his sweet smile, "and it got me out of trying new vegan eggnog recipes with my dad."

Carlos gasps, and dramatically clutches his chest. "You wound me, Tyler. Here I thought you genuinely wanted to bake together."

TK sticks his tongue out and fights the urge to remind Carlos he's never baked a day in his life. He likes eating pastries, not actually making them. Although, on second thought, he might actually enjoy baking with him. But he doesn't say any of that, instead he dips his finger on the frosting and smears it across Carlos' nose. "You're one to talk. I'm only here as your personal assistant."

"You're lucky you're not, or HR would have fired you already," Carlos mutters, catching TK's hands before he can smear more frosting across his face and licking it off his finger.

TK lets out a good-natured chuckle and accompanies it with a playful wink. "You'd miss me too much," he quips, a mischievous grin dancing on his lips as he reaches forward to snatch a gingerbread man out of the tray, ignoring Carlos' previous remark of no cookies until after dinner.

Were it anyone else, Carlos would have snatched the cookie right back, but seeing as it's TK, and he's been screwed since that night at the Honky Tonk, he just waits expectantly for his verdict.

TK breaks the cookie in half, offering one half to Carlos. He takes it but instead of taking a bite off it, leans forward and bites the exposed end away from TK's fingers, holding out his own half for him in return.

TK's eyes widen in shock at Carlos' move, but it quickly transitions into an infectious, delighted laugh. "Well played," he concedes, shaking his head in defeat before taking a bite off the offered half with a sigh of appreciation.

"Good?" Carlos asks, eyebrows raised expectantly.

TK finishes the cookie, and leans forward to kiss Carlos. "Delicious," he finally breathes out into the shared space.

Carlos rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face remains. "I meant the cookie," he jests, trying to fake annoyance but the affection in his gaze is unmistakable.

TK taps his chin, as if he was thinking it over. "Cookie was good," he confirms, his tone soft and warm. He leans in, swiftly licking the chocolate ganache off Carlos' nose. "Frosting was too. But you're so much better than both."

December 2021

On December 2nd, within an Austin apartment, a man leans forward, his hand trembling slightly as he lights a new candle. He's careful not to drop the shamash as he sets it back in the menorah, not wanting to incur the wrath of more than one version of his God. The warm glow of the candles reflects on his face, illuminating the tears streaming down his face, yet failing to reach the depths of his broken soul.

The space is quiet, except for the gentle melody of Christmas music resonating from the living room speakers. Discarded, burnt cookies lie in the trash, while an open recipe book on the counter remains set to a page featuring Sufganiyot. Despite the fact he still can't actually pronounce the word, he attempted to make them, yet the dough now rests in a bowl, half-submerged in water in the sink.

In a corner of the room stands a Christmas tree, its lights only partially aglow—the string ending somewhere in the middle. Sparse ornaments dot its branches, creating a feeble attempt at holiday cheer.

The rest of the apartment isn't much better and it mirrors the disarray. Pizza boxes occupy the coffee table, frozen meal cartons crowd the trash can, and the coffee pot wears the stains from previous mornings.

Settling onto the couch, the glow of his phone reveals a series of unanswered texts on his phone—Christmas party invitations waiting to be received, inquiries about lunch and dinner plans or post-work drinks demanding responses, family members and friends asking if he's okay and if there's anything they can do.

Shaking his head, he fails to respond to any message, except for a brief thumbs-up and smiley face sent to his mother confirming Sunday dinner plans. With a dismissive flick, he sends his phone flying to the other side of the couch.

The side of the couch that's empty and will remain empty, just like the unoccupied side of his bed.

That night, Carlos cries himself to sleep, his pillow the only thing absorbing his silent despair. He cries some more in the morning, then he washes his face, dresses up, and goes to work.

-x-x-x-

The following morning, a man arrives at his workplace in another part of Austin, awkwardly clutching tins of Christmas cookies, each adorned with matching ribbon and bow.

"When did you become the Pillsbury Doughboy?" teases one of his coworkers upon receiving a tin.

"Christmas cookies, sweet!" exclaims another, already savoring a bite of a ginger molasses treat.

"Did you bake this?" questions someone else, eyeing a Snickerdoodle Bar skeptically.

With a nod, the man meets their doubtful gazes. Beneath their skepticism, he senses their sadness. A shared sorrow that weighs on all of them, but nowhere as heavy as on his shoulders. It's an invisible cloak that threatens to choke him, gradually stealing his breath since that one fateful night when it all ended with a bang and not a whimper.

The previous night had been particularly bad, prompting him to bake. The first batch emerged too soft, the second too hard, the third burnt, and only the last batch turned out right.

He shed tears as he tasted the first cookie, yet he pressed on. His teardrops continued to glisten on the counter as he added ingredients to the mixer, frosted cookies and waited for others to cool down.

He didn't have a big family—no sisters, nieces or nephews, no brother-in-law, tías, or abuelos, to share the cookies with. But he had a work family and, thus, here he was, sharing with them the cookies born out of his despair.

Hesitantly, and then more animatedly, his friends sample the cookies, their expressions gradually softening into genuine smiles. He finds it in himself to smile back. And in that simple exchange of hesitant bites and shared smiles, a missing piece falls into place even if the greater picture is still missing.

An alarm goes off somewhere in the distance and it interrupts their conversation, though he wasn't particularly inclined to speak in the first place. Snatching a bite of a plain sugar cookie, he hurriedly exists, a solitary tear trailing down his cheek as he goes.

For the rest of the day, TK works, and that night, he bakes. Then he cries and eats broken pieces of gingerbread men with hot chocolate for dinner.

-x-x-x-

Weeks later, the two men step into the same Austin apartment, for the first time in weeks. The holiday decorations are gone and the place looks tidier than before.

"You moved me in," one of them says.

"Welcome home," his boyfriend responds, before leaning in until their lips meet.

They kiss like it's the first time all over again, but also like it could be their last.

Throughout the next few hours, their gaze remains locked in an unbroken connection as they reacclimate to the shapes of their bodies, the lines etched on their faces, and the cadence of their voices. All the while, TK's hand entwined with Carlos serves as an anchor to this lifetime, grounding him in the present, while Carlos' body pressed against TK is as a promise that, for as long as they're together, the chill of loneliness, and nearly dying, will never return.

December 2022

Carlos lugs the Christmas tree through the door, balancing it precariously as he kicks the door shut behind him. He glances around the apartment, noting the silence and lack of festive cheer. When his gaze lands on TK, he can't help but deflate a little. He's still sitting dejectedly at the kitchen table, scrolling through his phone with a distant look in his eyes.

He sighs softly, deciding to give TK some space. Setting the tree in the corner of the living room, Carlos starts quietly decorating it, the sound of rustling branches the only thing breaking the silence in the house. Eventually, he goes to their room to get the remaining ornaments and out of the corner of his eye, sees TK staring intently at his phone, a picture of Gwyn and little Jonah on the screen.

Heart aching, Carlos skips the ornaments and walks to the kitchen instead. "Hey," he says softly, gently placing a hand on TK's shoulder, "Want to talk about it?"

TK looks up, his eyes clouded with unshed tears. "What's there to talk about?" He shrugs and leans closer to Carlos' side. "I just… I miss her so much, Carlos. I miss her every day, but I miss her a little more on Christmas because that's a time we were always together, even when I moved with my dad, and when we came to Texas. She always made sure to come visit even if just for a weekend."

Carlos pulls him closer and places a kiss on his forehead. "I'm sorry, TK." He wishes he could say more, but what can he say when he has never experienced the kind of pain that envelops TK now. He knows loss, all first responders do to some extent, but his parents are both still alive so he feels complete in a way that he knows TK will never be again.

"How do you feel about baking some of her favorite cookies?" He proposes, wanting to distract his boyfriend somehow. "I remember you said she always made some when she visited. We can include them in the gift boxes I'm putting together for our family and friends."

TK shakes his head, a small, sad smile on his lips. "Baking was her thing… and it's your thing too. Not mine."

Carlos sighs dejectedly and sits down next to him, their knees touching. "Would you be open to me baking some of her recipes? You don't have to help if you're not in the mood. If not, I can just bake the gingerbread man I was planning for today."

Looking uncertain, TK manages an almost convincing nod. He stands and returns a moment later carrying an old recipe book, its pages wrinkled in the corners and stained from many hours in the kitchen.

"Thank you, I promise to take care of it." Carlos grabs the book and starts gathering ingredients.

Meanwhile, TK continues scrolling through photos on his phone, a lone tear escaping every time he sees his mother's smile. Eventually he takes a deep breath and joins Carlos at the kitchen island.

Quietly, Carlos turns the book so they can both see and hands TK a bag of almonds so he can measure the right amount.

In the next few hours, the broken pieces of TK's heart start to mend with each new ingredient added into the mix.

They work side by side in companionable silence, with Carlos guiding TK through the steps, their hands brushing occasionally, igniting invisible embers in their wake.

"I remember when I was little," TK says when they're forming the almond crescents to set in the tray. "Mom would let me roll the dough. I always made a mess, but she never got mad. She only laughed and said the messier the kitchen, the better the result."

Carlos chuckles, his eyes twinkling as he imagines a young TK with flour in his hair and his small hands sticky with butter. "Thank you for sharing that memory with me."

"Thank you… for doing this, Carlos. It means a lot," TK says softly, his voice thick with emotion.

"Anything for you, Tyler. We're in this together."

-x-x-x-

Later they move to the living room, the aroma of vanilla and almond heavy and familiar in the air.

Together, they finish with the lights and start hanging ornaments: glass globes and icicles, wooden figurines, iron snowflakes, and some vintage ornaments from past generations of Carlos' family.

Once they're done, just before they settle the star to finish the tree, Carlos asks TK to wait and rushes to their room. He comes out a moment later and hands TK a final ornament.

TK cradles the piece in shaking hands, and takes a deep breath. "This was my mom's favorite," he explains, his voice barely above a whisper. It's a Star of David made in fabric, with a picture of TK, Gwyn, and Owen in the center. He'd made it for his mom as a class project.

"I found it last week in one of the boxes Enzo sent, I thought you would want it near. I hope I didn't overstep," Carlos says, wringing his hands as he waits.

"You could never, but… are you sure you want it on the tree?" TK can't help but ask. "It's old and tattered, and everything else is so nice and sparkly."

Carlos smiles at the gesture but shakes his head anyway. "It's not about a perfect tree, TK. It's about one that's a little of you and a little of me… and us, and our families. It's about bringing a bit of her back into our lives."

TK looks into Carlos' eyes, seeing only love and sincerity there. "She'd love this," he says as he moves to hang the ornament, but Carlos stops him with a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"Then let's put it at the top." He takes the ornament and raises on his tiptoes, settling it in place of the usual star.

Seeing it there, some weight lifts off of TK's shoulders and the tightness in his chest eases just a little.

Together they step back to admire their work, matching smiles on their faces as they stare up at the small symbol of Gwyn's presence in their lives.

Carlos wraps an arm around TK's waist, pulling him close. "Merry Christmas, TK."

"Merry Christmas, Carlos," TK replies, a sense of peace washing over him.

December 2023

Their first Christmas as a married couple wasn't supposed to be Carlos' first without his father, just as their first Christmas in their shared apartment wasn't supposed to be TK's first without his mother. But life's a bitch and here they are (or rather Tim is a bitch but TK and Carlos don't know about the omnipotent God destined to bring them misery and leave them parentles, and so still, here they are).

It's December 15th, the last day of Hanukkah and less than two weeks before Christmas, and the Reyes-Strand residence couldn't look any less festive. The menorah is lit, illuminating the corner of the living room and casting shadows across the rest of the space. But the Christmas tree is still at the farm, and the flour for the traditional cookies is still at the store. Instead, there's a poor excuse of a pre-illuminated, pre-decorated tiny tree sitting atop the coffee table, surrounded by unopened boxes from Amazon containing Walker’s Assorted Shortbread, Royal Dansk Danish Cookies, and White Fudge Oreos—a makeshift substitute for the cherished baked goods Carlos usually creates.

Carlos sits on the couch, staring blankly at the Hallmark movie playing on the TV, uncharacteristically unmoved by the decorations the protagonist walks past. His demeanor is as blank as his motivations and he wants nothing more than for the holidays to end and December to go on its merry way.

The months following Gabriel's passing were undeniably tough, but eventually, in between the shared pain with his mother and sisters, and the love and support he received every day from TK and their friends, Carlos found the strength to move forward. Slowly, he reached a point where he could smile again without guilt or the threat of an imminent breakdown.

It all had gone well, or well enough, until December arrived. Gabriel had loved Christmas, and with his life also went Carlos' inherited love for the holiday. Despite his own sadness, he tried to be present for TK and their friends as they got carried away in the holiday excitement. Everything worked out until a few nights ago when he was driving home from work, and "Feliz Navidad" started playing on the radio. It was his father's favorite Holiday song, and it pushed Carlos over the edge. He parked his car on the shoulder in the middle of the highway and cried until TK called him an hour later, asking if he was working overtime and had forgotten to tell him.

And so, every night since then, Carlos had come home from work tired and sad, carrying takeout and apologies. They ate in silence and watched in silence as the Hallmark magic failed to reach their living room.

This night is no different. When the credits roll on Hallmark's 'The Secret Gift of Christmas', Carlos automatically kisses TK on the forehead and mumbles something about being tired and going to bed early.

At this point in their routine, TK usually takes a hold of Carlos' hand and follows his boyfriend into the room, getting into bed together and running his fingers through his curls until he falls into a restless sleep. Tonight, however, he says he's too awake to sleep and stays behind.

TK waits until the bedroom door closes, a hushed silence settling over the room. Then he tiptoes into the kitchen and starts planning.

-x-x-x-

The following night, TK is reassured he's made the right choice as soon as he turns to Carlos, who is sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the 'Holiday Baking Championship: Gingerbread Showdown', playing on the TV. It took TK a few months of knowing Carlos to realize he loved baking shows as much as he loved baking itself. Typically, his boyfriend is a bundle of nervous energy and excitement when they watch. Tonight, however, he's quiet and subdued, and TK dearly misses his running commentary about the contestants and the treats they're trying to make. He even misses his uncharacteristic snark when someone messes up and his adorable muttering that he could have done it better.

As the living room clock ticks closer to eight o'clock it's TK who becomes the bundle of nervous energy as his conviction wavers, and he begins questioning his decision. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, he has no time to wonder further as the doorbell rings, and Carlos turns to look at him uncertainly.

"Can you get that? Please," TK calls offhandedly, busying himself with some dishes that needed drying.

Carlos raises a suspicious eyebrow and gingerly lifts from the couch. "Are we expecting someone?"

"Just takeout," TK lies, shelving the plates and cups from breakfast but looking at the front door out of the corner of his eye.

"Right." Carlos stops by the antique mirror he inherited from his grandmother to fix his hair, straighten the neck of his Polo, and take a few deep, calming breaths.

A shriek welcomes him as he opens the door. Instead of a delivery driver, there's Judd and Paul struggling to carry a fresh Christmas tree in between them, Mateo fumbling with various grocery bags and a case of beer, Marjan holding Target bags of Christmas ornaments, and Nancy, arms full with a Yule Log Cake from their favorite local bakery. Grace and Tommy are standing at the back, alongside Charlie, Evie, and Izzy, the last of which is carrying three boxes of various gingerbread houses.

More surprising is the fact they're all dressed in Christmas Pajamas ranging from completely adorable to hilariously inappropriate.

"Hey everyone," Carlos says, his breath hitching, and vision blurring.

"Hi Reyes. Thanks for having us," they all say in chorus.

Their friends are already familiar with the Reyes-Strand residence as if it were their own and they waste no time making themselves at home. Judd and Paul expertly navigate the Christmas tree through the door, their laughter filling the air when they almost knock over a framed picture of the firefam plus Carlos last 4th of July. Mateo arranges the food on the kitchen counter with one hand, the other already holding a beer can, while Marjan untangles strings of Christmas lights and Nancy opens boxes of ornaments and arranges them on the coffee table. Grace and Tommy, with the help of Evie, Izzy, and Charlie, begin to set up the living room with festive decorations.

TK notices Carlos standing by the door, shocked by the unexpected gathering of friends, and gestures to the others to go on without them. Concerned, he makes his way to his husband, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," TK says softly, looking into Carlos' eyes. "You okay?"

Carlos, still processing the scene in front of him, startles a little. Eventually he manages a nod and a tentative smile. "Yeah, just overwhelmed. I didn't expect…"

TK understands the unspoken words and pulls Carlos into a hug. "I wanted to make this holiday special for you, for both of us. Our friends thought so too. They have been texting all week asking to come over. They wanted to bring some Holiday cheer to us," he whispers, and his breath near Carlos' neck is warm and tingly and comfortable.

"Thank you." Carlos takes a deep breath, melting into TK's embrace. "I never thought I'd have this again."

TK sighs sadly and squeezes him a little tighter. "We can make new traditions, babe. We can celebrate with our friends, and just the two of us. We can create new memories," he pauses, letting his words reach Carlos before he continues, "and none of that is going to erase the traditions or memories you shared with your dad. Just like they didn't erase the ones I shared with my mom. They would want us to be happy and carry on enjoying the holidays."

Carlos nods into TK's shoulder, giving himself an extra moment to breathe him in before he pulls back. "How did I get so lucky?" He asks seriously, cupping TK's cheek and running his thumb over his bottom lip.

"I've been asking myself that same question for years," TK replies, without missing a beat. "We're a team, remember?" He closes the distance between them and kisses Carlos chastely, hoping to avoid the familiar groans and chants to "find a room".

"Besides, your smile? It makes it all worth it."

Before Carlos can respond, TK pulls him into their room and dresses them in matching pajamas before they rejoin their friends in the living room, the atmosphere already buzzing.

They decide to divide and conquer, and spend the next few hours setting up the tree, decorating it and the living room, baking chocolate chip and sugar cookies, and building three gingerbread houses because Evie, Izzy and Charlie couldn't agree on one.

Quickly, the room is transformed into a lively scene of laughter and friendly arguments, much like the Hallmark movies Carlos is so fond of. By the time the clock ticks midnight, the living room is no longer bare and shadowed, but adorned with twinkling lights, enough ornaments to rival Santa's workshop, and the fresh scent of a Christmas tree and recently baked cookies.

With the parents of the group having all gone home, way past the girls' bedtime, the exhausted remaining members of the group lounge in between the furniture and the floor, finishing the day eating cookies, broken pieces of gingerbread houses, and drinking spiked hot chocolate or apple cider.

When Carlos goes to bed a few hours later, he's still sad and a little bit overwhelmed, but he breathes a little easier. The holiday magic that seemed lost has been rekindled by the people who care about them the most.

December 2024

Carlos stands by the cabin's window, gazing out at the twinkling Christmas lights adorning the houses of their temporary neighbors. Snow had been lightly falling for hours, initially dusting the ground in a soft, white blanket. Now, it fully covers the yard, their car, and every road leading out of town and to the airport.

Resigned, he turns back to the room, which is filled with the comforting scent of pine and cinnamon. TK is bustling around, unpacking the luggage he had only packed this morning just before their phones buzzed with matching alerts informing them that their flight had been canceled.

After a challenging year in which they almost lost their way to each other, TK had convinced him to abandon tradition and embrace the new beginning that was thwarted before. No one had passed away recently, and their ghosts and demons were finally at peace.

So instead of spending a familiar Christmas at home, they had taken a flight to Aspen and spent a magical week getting familiar with each other and relearning the ways to make each other's hearts soar. The cozy cabin, with its roaring fireplace and rustic charm, had become a sort of sanctuary for them, a place where they could truly reconnect without other people and their jobs taking their attention.

Sensing eyes on him, TK pauses and looks up, a smile breaking on his face as soon as he sees Carlos staring. "You know, since we're snowed in, we might as well make the most of it."

Carlos raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh? What did you have in mind?" He asks, his tone light and playful.

TK grins and nods towards the kitchen. "How about we bake some cookies?"

"Cookies?" Carlos looks dumbfounded at the many boxes of homemade cookies Andrea sent "because it's important to keep tradition alive."

"We're alone in a snowed-in cabin, with nothing to do and nowhere to be, and you want to bake cookies? Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?" He asks seriously.

TK chuckles, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Do you have other ideas, Ranger Reyes?"

Carlos nods and beckons TK closer. "I wouldn't mind continuing what we were doing last night," he whispers, his breath hot on TK's ear. "We don't have a hot tub at home, after all."

"I like the way you think." TK leans back and kisses Carlos chastely, laughing when his husband chases him and stumbles as he leads the way to the fenced-in patio.

-x-x-x-

"This week has been perfect," Carlos murmurs sometime later. He wraps his arms around TK from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder as they stand in matching ugly sweaters and cozy sweatpants gazing at the Christmas tree they decorated on their first night here.

TK turns his head to press a kiss to Carlos' temple. "It really has. We should do it more often."

Carlos nods and pulls a small box from his pocket. "That reminds me, I have one more gift for you. I was going to give it to you when we were back in Austin to fight the post-vacation blues, but now feels like the perfect time."

TK's eyes widen in surprise as he takes it in. Carefully, he unwraps a delicate locket. Inside it's a picture of the two of them on their honeymoon, and their initials are engraved on the cover of the small heart.

"It's a promise that no matter what comes our way, we'll face it together. You're my home, TK. I'm sorry that this year I strayed a bit farther away." Carlos holds up the locket and clasps it around TK's neck, its length making it fall just above the insignia he's seen his husband wear every day since they met.

Tears well up in TK's eyes and he turns around, burying his face on Carlos' chest as he hugs him tightly. "I love you so much, Carlos. Thank you."

Carlos smiles, heart full. "Thank you, TK."

Lost in their own bubble, TK and Carlos lose track of the time. The cheers coming from outside are the only thing alerting them of the arrival of the new year.

Laughing, they turn towards each other. "Happy New Year," TK whispers, their foreheads pressed together.

"Happy New Year," Carlos echoes, pulling him into a slow, heartfelt kiss. One full of promise for the new year.

They move to the couch with a plate of gingerbread cookies and hot chocolate, and sit down, content to just hold each other.

Carlos turns to look into TK’s eyes, mesmerized at how they reflect the light from the fireplace. He chuckles softly, "We were supposed to be at Nancy's party, but I wouldn’t trade this for anything."

TK smiles, his thumb brushing the heart-shaped locket resting above the one beating inside his chest. "Neither would I. This feels right."

As the night gives way to dawn, the sound of distant fireworks and jubilant cheers fills the air, but in their cabin, the world revolves solely around the two of them.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fanfiction #tarlos #tarlos fic #tarlos fanfic #tk strand #carlos reyes #firehouse 126

15 notes · View notes

ethankyou · 1 year ago

Text

A while back I had a chance to play Cyberpunk Red, which is the 4th edition of Cyberpunk by Mike Pondsmith.

Red is also the successor to Cyberpunk 2020 which was the inspiration for the notorious Cyberpunk 2077 - haven't played, don't intend to, not the subject of my discussion here!

So how did it go?

Cyberpunk Red is a lot of crunch though plays really easy once you get past the initial learning curve of the rules.

But there are a lot of rules.

I find my go to when learning a new game is to find a video of someone trying to give a briefer on the game system and then go to the book to cement those ideas myself.

I found this video pretty helpful when researching character creation. XPLoveCat does a whole series guiding through the creation process. If you like to listen to someone explain things (it's a big help for me) this might be a great place for you to start too!

Once you pick your lifepath, if you're going with the beginner one (i don't remember what it's called it's been nearly a year sorry!) the creation process is pretty smooth, it's just following some steps. There's a medium and veteran version of the life paths that add more complexity to your character creation process and I feel like since our group was a bunch of RPG vets we could have handled that, but it does speed things up to go with the quicker start for a one shot.

Meanwhile Red is like "You have 60 skills and one of them is fashion and one of them is looking good."

Whenever I'm starting a new game I also like to have a character sheet handy so I can piece everything together. And once you get Red's character sheet in front of you, it really begins to feel like a game from the 90's with a modern coat of paint.

The character sheet in question. 3 pages!

There's a lot of fun to be had in older systems! But newer systems have opted to streamline things like skills and stats and stuff nowadays. I remember being glad that 4th edition D&D cut skills by more than half by just folding a lot of similar ones together, something that would continue into 5th edition as well. There were some casualties along the way though (rip use magic device, and all the extra knowledge skills!) and typically the stuff that got cut was stuff that would facilitate like... You know.... Playing a character? Not just murderhoboing your way across the country.

Pictured below, everything that is "Cool" in the year 2045 (taken from a custom character sheet)

Creating a character is an interesting process because it follows this lifepath system. So you choose one of several paths and the game streamlines the creation process by directing you which page to go to next in an almost "choose your own adventure" sort of layout. This is very helpful, but while it's easy to go forward, it's not so easy to go back. If you went to the wrong page or just didn't like what you read and want to try something else, you'll be searching for where you made that wrong turn. A lot of ttrpg books can be like this so this isn't exactly a new problem, but the way the book is laid out it really does need you to follow this path to new pages instead of discovering the information yourself by reading on. I guess just write down the page numbers of places you want to go back to before flipping forward.

Initially finding things on the sheet is tough because if you're told to make a "Tracking" check, you might not immediately assume that's an Int skill. Since the skills are grouped by attribute, you'll have to go through the process of figuring out what skill belongs to which group. I don't think this is a bad thing, because the alternative would be an alphabetical list of 60+ skills, which might make it harder to figure out their associated stat, or would just make the sheet more bloaty with repeated stats beside each and every skill. All games have an adjustment period to them and this is a pretty minor one. I remember this being a sticking point for our group after playing it originally but having some time to think on it I think there's a valid argument to be made either way. Someone in our group even mentioned this was one custom character sheet away from not being an issue and I agree. And apparently others do too because there's a lot of them out there! Many of which sort the skills differently and many also try to condense the 3 page sheet to 2. I know there's a lot of wasted real estate on the third page but it's pretty cool!

There are also apparently free quick start rules that come with premade characters and everything! Free is free and you can check that out on drive thru RPG! It's called easy mode but my understanding is this includes the core rules too. This would probably be the best choice for a one shot game to test the water but we just weren't aware of them at the time.

But a major part of creation is your role. This is the part I might be the most critical of. While they give you a lot of skills and everyone has access to the same skills, each role has basically one major ability that only they can do. The med tech can use medicines to help the groups, the netrunner can take more actions while in a netrun. That kind of thing. But that's pretty much it. Improving your role may allow you to use your role abilities better or more frequently, but there's not a lot in the way of new abilities.

And also the divisions between the roles feel pretty arbitrary. Like the med tech is the only one who can use a bunch of medicines. But why? Everyone has access to the first aid skill, which is something the med tech is also proficient in. What's stopping someone from taking one of their medicines and using it?

I think having well defined roles for each player is very important! And the roles do provide this, but I don't feel like they go far enough. We did only play one session though so perhaps this is something that would be more evident over time.

I played a Netrunner (a hacker) which ends up also having to play a little minigame separate from the rest of the action. I knew what I was getting into but wanted to try it out to see how the game handles it. In previous games that I've played a hacker, it bogged down the game by either having an entire session play out for the hacker while everyone else waits, or does nothing while everyone else is in the middle of the action because they have to stay with their big cool hacker rig. Red deals with this in a really great way - your rig is a headset that has wifi. And if you want to hack a secure system, you need to be hardwired into that system. This means the Netrunner has to be on site and still has an opportunity to join the action. Or may even be forced to do both at once.

As far as the actual hacking game goes, I really like the implementation of hacking a cyber infrastructure. You bring programs that all serve different functions, such as attacks or other actions and then you have to fight your way up the digitial infrastructure, with each level offering more rewards, but higher threats. The programs all have a fantasy aesthetic and the architecture functions kind of like a dungeon in Netspace. You can take multiple netspace actions, but you're still able to act in meatspace as well during this time. Sometimes you'll have to balance your actions in and out of netspace.

The biggest problem I had with the Netrunner goes back to my problem with roles. There's a Tech stat and several Tech skills so what kind of check do you make? Why, you add your role to your roll! The Netrunner uses their role, which starts at +4. Compared to their Tech skills which are floating around a +10 or so. Now the DVs for these checks are all lower to compensate for this but... Why do we gotta do it this way?

There could easily be a skill that could have covered this and the DVs could have been comparable to everything else in the game. You might think, well if other characters were allowed to hack, they could prove to be just as effective as the Netrunner so it has to be a balance issue right? Well the Netrunner role allows them to take 3 actions a round in Netspace which would make them much more efficient than someone without the role. But also having the role is what grants the interface feature, which is required to take NET actions at all! But even though the Netrunner is obviously the best choice for the task, what's stopping someone else with a rig from attempting the same thing and just being less efficient at it.

The way I guess this is addressed, is that you can take on other roles potentially? You have 4 in your starting role, so I believe you'd start with 1 in a new role. But with a +4 in my Netrunner role I found that I struggled a lot, so I can't even imagine floundering around with just a +1. You'd be at the whims of the dice.

Despite that though, I appreciate the game does allow this sort of multi-classing. Especially since many of the roles seem to be very gear based, so it feels silly to not allow any crossover.

In the end, the hacking did feel balanced, which is important. But it didn't feel awesome, which i guess is what it came down to for me. But I also failed a lot of those checks Netrunner checks, which brings me to my last major gripe.

Rolling a single d10 for checks is fine, but if you critically fail on a 1, which is 10% of the time, that is lame. I don't mind using a d10 for checks but without some kind of way to mitigate 1's it makes things brutal, not in a fun or challenging way. I feel like if I was going to play again, I would need the crit fails to just be gone altogether.

Overall, I did enjoy Cyberpunk Red! I think it's a bit hard to dig into for a oneshot, but we managed just fine. If you really wanted to get a feel for it though, I'd recommend you play a 3-5 session arc. This game is definitely worth your time!

I'm also curious about going back to previous iterations to see how it's changed over time.

So, fun fact time, Cyberpunk Red was published in 2020, 30 years after Cyberpunk 2020 was originally published which is goes hand in hand with every scifi media that has predicted a date in the "far future" that we have now reached (and passed!).

See you in 2045 for the 5th edition of Cyberpunk I suppose!

#rpg talk #ttrpg #indie ttrpg #cyberpunk #cyberpunk red

71 notes · View notes

nivea-ah · 1 month ago

Note

you should totally compile a list of all your fav tddk fics!! I’m always looking for recs!! 👀

(finally got the ask I was waiting for for ages yess)

I have so many tddk fic recs (that's what happens when you've been reading tddk since 2020) but I've compiled my favourites here!

you could be the one that I love

“Oh please. You know he likes you as more than just a friend. Why don’t you just tell him you feel the same?”

I can’t, because he’ll drop everything to come back when I ask him to, and I can’t be the one who ruins his dreams to fulfill my own selfish ones.

“I just can’t.”

[In which twenty-seven year old pro-hero Shouto yearns for years thousands of miles away from Izuku and writes him letters filled with wishes and confessions he never intends to share.]

....

It's a post canon fic and it's SO SO GOOD. I had so many feels reading this it's so wonderful and so good and so cute UGH. please read it makes you very happy.

....

nine centuries and counting

When Izuku is happy, he makes flowers bloom.

....

okay SO. I haven't reread this fic in ages but I remember it feeling SO GOOD and I think that's a feeling everyone should experience at least once. It's a goblin au (the kdrama) and the fic makes me want to watch it

....

Coffee and Red Bull

Todoroki Shouto didn’t like people watching, but some people were too interesting to be ignored.

....

so funny and so cute. It's only 2k words so it's very good for a quick read. Izuku overworks and shouto finds that concerning and a little adorable.

....

the fire escape

Shouto Todoroki is in love with a superhero.

He doesn’t understand how this superhero came to exist; all he knows is that there was no news one day, and then blown up headlines the next. They talked about a bus full of people saved by a masked person who used his incredible strength to keep the vehicle from falling off the side of a bridge when the brakes stopped working. Other, smaller stories popped up from those who recognized him--or at least, the green and white mask he wore.

....

SPIDERMAN AU.

that's it. what more should I say. it's so good. there's that iconic upside down kissing too so I think it's a wonderful deal.

....

red delicious

Izuku might have a problem. Okay, so maybe that was a bit of an understatement. He definitely has more than just a problem because Todoroki Shouto should not look this good eating a god damn apple.

....

this fic is just them making out and personally I love that sooo

it's actually very cute you should read it mwah

....

Who is he to say no?

Izuku looked up and saw a dark look pass through the other's face, Izuku did not notice before but the other's eyes were red and now they were glowing as they were two little moons, obsessed and transfixed on the blood that had seeped out of his mouth.

“Oh.” Izuku said, frozen still.

Or Where a sick human falls in love with a timeless being and lives longer than he ever expected to.

....

This, too, I read long ago BUT I FELT GOOD AFTER I READ IT SO ITS GOOD I FEEL. it's vampire todoroki and I really like that so

....

Moonlight Sonata

There was something vulnerable in Todoroki's expression, in the parting of his lips and the way he tilted his face upwards, unguarded for once. Izuku would compare him to a painting were it not for the fact that not even the most skilled artist in the world would be able to match such beauty or capture such emotion as the one evoked by the sight of Todoroki playing the piano.

....

guys,,, this fic is so good. it's actual literature. It's set in some regency au where shouto is izuku's master in some sorts BUT DONT WORRY NO POWER DYNAMICS. please read it it's very good

....

I have LOTS more left to recommend but I thought I'll recommend some of the ones I haven't seen recommended a lot? If you want more, just ask, I love spreading my tddk agenda >:)

#tododeku #tododeku fic rec #todoizu #fic recs #i really love these fics #do read them they deserve love

19 notes · View notes

temporalarts · 8 months ago

Note

Hello there, I have noticed you’re a well of knowledge when it comes to iDKHOW lore. I’m struggling to find good sources of information and I’d like to learn everything there is to know; do you know how I can do this? Anything I can read/watch? I did a surface-level lore dive a year or two back but I don’t fully remember everything and I’m seeing some stuff around Tumblr I never knew about. Call me Sally Mae because I intend on uncovering everything I can about this band’s lore ;)

hi there! sorry for the late answer, have had tumblr deleted for a while.

important information about idkhow lore first:

it is NOT required to know anything about the lore of idkhow to listen or enjoy idkhow. idkhow's lore is meant to be additional story to the band and is meant for fans to explore only if they are interested. idkhow's songs/lyrics by themselves do not have story meanings. it is hugely important to recognize that idkhow as music and idkhow as a story are separate entities.

idkhow's lore is a metaphorical story for dallon's experience within the music industry and celebrity la/hollywood culture. everything in the lore is symbolic for something in real life (for example, TELLEXX is a metaphor representation of the music industry). i implore anyone getting into the lore of idkhow to treat the lore with gently and respectfully because of that reason.

idkhow's lore has mostly been uncontinued since 2020/2021 since the release of razzmatazz. SRCHPRTY (main character of the lore) has been an abandoned account since june of 2021. this is for a multitude of reasons, including dallon not wanting to have a story line with each album, lack of label support, and lack of time for the lore. because of this, a lot of information about the lore has been lost to time and is no longer available to the public. gloom division (idkhow's most recent album) does have a lore behind it, but has not had a story run like razzmatazz had yet (it could in the future, but gloom division didn't have the time or budget to at this moment). lots of amazing archivists in the community are trying to preserve the lost content over the years (ill link one available one below), but please keep that in mind while looking into the lore.

you may see mentions of ryan seaman (also referred to as subject B) mentioned in the lore and some resources. ryan seaman was the previous drummer of idkhow and is no longer in or involved with idkhow since september 16th, 2023 (due to various reasons i wont go into here, but if you dont know look up the information to why online). idkhow is now and currently a solo project of dallon weekes, but if you see any reference of idkhow being a duo or see him in resources that is why.

that out of the way, here is all the resources I could come up with!

introductory idkhow lore carrd, made by my good friend @fadeyouout! very good start to everything in the lore!

full timeline of all events from current idkhow lore, made by me!

very good place to start with the lore is the srchprty conspiracy video. introductory video to srchprty's research, basic backstory for srchprty, and the main 3 questions in the story.

ALL srchrpty diaries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! watch these chronologically as they build off one another.

if you haven't already, look through srchprty's twitter and instagram accounts. look through tweet replies/instagram comments. srchprty regularly interacted with fans while he was active and a lot of story building with TELLEXX comes from those interactions.

physical copy only extras in razzmatazz, lyrics for indoctrination and tomorrow people. razzmatazz physical versions came with two exclusive spoken word tracks, indoctrination and tomorrow people, both directly from TELLEXX.

TELLEXX documents, found in physical copy only extras in razzmatazz lyric book. includes a internal TELLEXX letter and volunteer subject consent forms.

archive of all of idkhow's instagram posts (2017-2022) made by abstracttheart on twitter. most of idkhow posts on instagram has been deleted over the years, so this is a great resource to see those deleted posts. you can most lore related posts from 2020-2021.

the mysterious world of i dont know how but they found me, dork magazine interview with dallon on the razzmatazz lore and its metaphorical meanings to him. VERY important read in my own opinion!

instagram highlights from idkhowindo: part 1, 2, 2.5, 3. their account has since been abandoned, but the archived stories are from the time of srchprty's activity and has a lot of good information in them.

questions i have answered about some idkhow lore topics in detail: what happened to srchprty, what is TELLEXX, and who is subject a. if you have any questions about the lore that you need answers to feel free to shoot me an ask in my inbox! idkhow lore is my special interest and i love answering any questions new fans have.

idkhow.com from 2020-2022 (recommend scrolling through archives of the website from wayback machine from august 2020-december 2020). the idkhow.com website during razzmatazz lore was ran by srchprty and was being recovered during the razzmatazz lore after a previous shutdown by TELLEXX in 1996.

TELLEXX stress evaluation test: may see this referenced around different lore resources, this is the official website for the test. as well as a article from the coder on how the website works to give results which is a very interesting read.

qwerty translator: TELLEXX/srchprty uses a code called QWERTY code throughout the lore, which is a letter substitution code substituting the alphabet for the QWERTY keyboard (ex: A=Q, B=W, etc). very helpful for decoding those codes!

most "niche" idkhow lore information comes from video/text interviews with dallon from 2020/2021! hard to find every single interview he does talk about the lore, but any dive into interviews from 2020 and you can find moments where he talks about razzmatazz lore. some instagram interviews from 2020 have been archived on idkhows youtube for watch.

indie pop, deep lore, and fan theories: how idkhow give there fans more than just music, tone deaf article on lore

i will update whenever i can with whatever i can find, but that is all the available resources for the lore of idkhow currently. if you (or anyone) have any questions about specific things within the lore, feel free to shoot me a question in my inbox and i will try my best to answer! enjoy!

#idkhow #idkhow lore #srchprty #tellexx

29 notes · View notes

saikolikes · 1 year ago

Text

Aki’s P5R fanfic recs! (part 2)

Hi and welcome to another one of my recs posts! As you can see, this is part two: part one of this post can be found HERE and includes fics I bookmarked between April 2019 and December 2020. This second post will deal with everything I bookmarked during 2021 and 2022 (... so yes, part 3 is bound to happen some times in the future)

Here a brief disclaimer:

Everything in here is spoiler for either P5 vanilla, Royal, or Strikers;

I won’t report the tags, as it would take too long, so if you’re interested in a fic, please open the link;

Fic recs obviously reflect my tastes and preferences. For example, I love suffering and I don’t like fluff or domestic works, so browse this list knowing that;

The stark majority of the works here is shuakeshu

If you want more recs you can find them in my bookmarks, most of them are public!

MY ONGOING RECS Again, I don't read a lot of ongoing works (although, admittedly more than in the past) and these are the ones I'm subscribed to that I'm adoring!

The Lovers, Reversed by salexectria, Terra5 (E) | Royalty a/b/o AU | akeshu | series in three parts, ongoing "A Thief is caught stealing from the Northern King, and is sentenced to death for his crimes. The Alpha Prince intervenes, but at what cost to them both?" What I love about this AU is the amount of politics and worldbuilding put into it, as well as the uniqueness of double povs who constantly switch from Akira to Goro creating one back and forth that acts literally like poking into their minds. Plus the slow burn and the pining are just on point.

never die when I'm dead by threerings (E) | Royal & post-Royal | akeshu | series in 2 parts, ongoing Two one shots featuring one of my absolute flavors of this ship: sad, intense and unhinged

IDC FOR UPDATES I resolved to defeat my abandoned-wip trauma one excellent fic at a time so here's a list of works that haven't been updated in a while or the author straight up confirmed they won't keep writing them, but they are so good you just have to read them and let them remodel you. Do it. Do it now.

the year of the knife by theexistentiallyqueer (M) | No powers AU | shuakeshu | 2 chapters "The plan for Akira's junior year of high school was to keep his head down and his nose clean, but he hadn't counted on his new high school having more trouble than it was worth--and he specifically didn't plan on Akechi Goro, the haughty, machiavellian vice president of Shujin Academy's student council, dragging him face-first into political scandal and a series of encounters that would change his life." Please let teq bring you through a journey of spot-on characterization and stunning prose that will rewire your brain chemistry completely. Their take on machiavellian Akechi is really good, and the snark Akira spits in this fic is really something I cherish.

kiss & cry by MajorGodComplex (T) | Figure skating AU | shuakeshu | 2 chapters "Goro’s first thought when he hits the ground is some combination of the words ‘shit fuck hell fucking bullshit bitch fuck motherfucking hell.’ His next thought is wondering whether Akira Kurusu, senior debut, constant thorn in Goro’s side, and the only person anyone this season seems to talk about, is also trying to land a quad axel at the moment." I don't know what to tell you, the prose of this one is so witty and funny you just have to read what's published of it as of now!

honeybrains by succubused (T) | Time loop | shuakeshu | 4 chapters "a chronicle of the twenty-fourth time akira kurusu lived through the month of january 2017" What can I say, I am really a sucker for time loops and this fic took me by the heart. Tagged as character study and with rights because the characterization here is very interesting!

in the snow globe by aminami (E) | Time travel | shuake | 1 chapter "It’s your heart,” Joker says like it’s the most obvious thing. “Your desires, your hopes, your fears. I’ll carry them with me always. My little snow globe." This fic will hurt you so badly but it will be so worth it, I swear. It's just so melancholic and tender and angsty and it carved a place in my heart.

my love has never lived indoors by rhodophytae (E) | a/b/o | shuake | 1 chapter "Ren Amamiya knows he's an alpha, and he's comfortable with that, but he's pretty sure that being an alpha is, well...different for him than it is for other people. He resigned himself a long time ago to the fact that he'd probably go his whole life without finding anyone else like him. And then he meets Goro Akechi." This fic has such an interesting take on omegaverse! Paired with a stellar characterization and delicious pining, it's no surprise it's a fic I will never forget.

GENERAL RECS The fics I’ve enjoyed the most and that I go back to reading sometimes.

how joker and crow survived the coronavirus pandemic of 2020 by shntlvs (T) | Royal | shuakeshu | series of 2 works "Escaping from Maruki's false reality gets interrupted by the Coronavirus pandemic." Could you have ever imagined reading a fic centered around the pandemic? Me neither, but this one and its sequel work so well and have very compelling bits of characterization for the boys. Unexpected premise, but I utterly loved it.

straw house, straw dog by caelam (T) | 3rd sem | gen | one shot "In the saccharine utopia of Maruki’s reality, Goro Akechi’s mother is still alive." I admittedly don't read too many fics with mamakechi so I won't claim to be an expert, but this one really left me impressed with how clear and tangible the tangle of feelings is.

Knight of Pentacles, King of Spades by Naometry (M) | Medieval AU | shuakeshu | 11 chapters "“Hifumi passed on your greetings,” Akira Kurusu says, fury simmering beneath his conversational tone. “And I’m polite enough to give you my own in person. So greetings, General Goro Akechi. I am the man who will kill you.”" I started reading this fic for the war captive trope but this story has so much more to it than just that. Nao's superb skill with writing violence and viciousness will have you thrust into a cruel world where two boys seem to be bound to kill each other... unless?

Ripples by Riona (T) | gen | canon compliant | one shot "Ten people know exactly who the news is talking about, and now they’re going to have to deal with that." A peek into the heads of 10 of Joker's confidants upon learning about his death. The fic I would never imagined myself reading, but I did because it was recced to me, and now I'm recc'ing it to you, too.

When Your Eyes Meet Mine by seths_dream (E) | no powers AU | shuake | one shot "The way the bellboy lingered on him made his heart jolt, made him think that maybe, maybe the bellboy was looking at Goro the same way Goro was looking at him." I've lost count of how many times I read this fic because the horny is just so juicy, it's unironically one of the fics I come back to when I need to remind myself how to write horny stuff. (the same author also wrote this delicious pegoryu that you have to read)

a study in what not to say by succubused (T) | 3rd sem | shuake | one shot "Akira has finally had enough of Akechi's bullshit; they resolve it the only ways they know how." If you like the boys being really nasty to each other, this fic is a must. It has excellent dialogue, dynamics, and a tad of homoerotic wound tending which can't hurt no one!

MY ALL-TIME FAVOURITES The fics that rewired my brain chemistry, took my heart out, slapped it, put it back, and left me a whole new person.

27 steps to seduce a crow by relationshipcrimes (G) | Royal | shuakeshu | one shot "A handy bullet-pointed list on how to flirt with, seduce, and keep your local Akechi Goro." Still to this day, I think of this fic in terms of Goro's characterization. If I have a thing for post-canon shuake chasing each other, it's probably due to this one.

The Brigverse by TzviaAriella (E but most works are M) | Pirates AU | akeshuake | series, ongoing I admittedly don't care that much about pirates but the og fic from this series (A Brig Too Far) was being passed on so much that I gave it a try and. Oh boy. Not only is the characterization impeccable, the story compelling, and the action thrilling, but at least one scene and/or line from each work in this series has altered my brain permanently. I am a new person after reading Brigverse.

wild and free by bangandawhimper (E) | a/b/o | shuakeshu | one shot "Akira Kurusu hasn’t always been an omega. But now everyone he meets in this city assumes he’s an omega. He’s treated like an omega. He feels like an omega. He knows he feels like an omega because he remembers what it was to be an alpha." This work might have my favourite take ever on shuakeshu omegaverse, it's so fitting for them, so thought out, and the characterization is so on point... my god. Read this fic now.

The Diamond Chest by kinneas (E) | post-Royal | shuakeshu | 3 chapters, complete "Who says you have to see Morgana speak in the Metaverse before you can hear him in the real world? Not the few hundred officers who arrested Ren in Sae’s Palace two years ago, that’s for sure." Honestly everything kinnes writes is gold but I'm shouting this fic out because I reread more than a few scenes from this fic more than once, and it's a 100k-words baby. I am a sucker for heist stories, I am a sucker for dealing with trauma in very tangible ways, and I'm a sucker for kinneas' characterization of the boys.

before midnight by specterthief (Not rated) | 3rd sem, canon compliant | gen | one shot "“I—” Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Sumire sets down her chopsticks and rubs her face with both hands. “Um—who told you I was going to training camp?” (On January 9th, Sumire goes home.)" This is the stellar Sumire characterization fic you're looking for. Read this. Read this right now.

I HOPE THIS DOESN'T AWAKEN SOMETHING IN ME (DELUSIONAL) I clicked on these fics solely due to my trust in the authors/the summary/one rec and now I find myself with a new kink. Thanks.

Containment Breach by salexectria (E) | Space pirates AU | akeshu | one shot Akira gets stranded on an abandoned spaceship seemingly infested by a terrifying creature. He finds the lonely survivor of the crew and they begrudgingly start to work together to contact help and survive. I am just going to say that I clicked for salex's name, I stayed for the stellar characterization, pining and top-tier bantering, and got overwhelmed by the tentacle sex. (/pos)

it takes two by lumensd (E) | 3rd sem | akeshu | two-shots By all means, this series has some things I usually am not interested in (phone sex, degradation) but Jay is so skilled and his akeshus are so fucked in the head that now I've signed up for the masochist Joker agenda. Hurray!

i dream of you draped in wires by rime (E) | 3rd sem | akeshu | one shot "Maruki's Shadows don't want to fight; they just want to collect data. Wait, are those cat ears?" You would think a work with the tag "catboy shibari gunplay fuckordie" can't be too serious. Wrong! Excellent character study attack 🔪🔪🔪 (from the same author there's also this P5 vanilla fic that is excellent)

Darken my doorway by EnlacingLines (E) | 3rd sem-post canon | akeshu | one shot ""I don’t need to test my theory. You should be thanking me, really. Opening this door for you.” “A door to what?” Akira says, exasperated by just how self congratulatory Goro still sounds.“ Submission.” Or: I am a firm switch shuake shipper, I don't vibe with too-extreme dynamics *proceeds to go ballistics over this fic regardless*, *awakens to the wonder of d/s a lil fucked up dynamics*

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #p5 #p5r #p5 spoilers #p5r spoilers #shuake #akeshu #shuakeshu #akeshuake #fanfiction recommendation #fanfic #p5r fanfiction #p5 fic rec #fic rec #fic reccomendations #p5r fic rec

86 notes · View notes

jmvore · 1 year ago

Text

Say Yes (3) | pjm + jjk

‹ previous | next › » warning(s) › threatening jm, nonconsensual touching, jimin & jungkook being asses, husband!seokjin makes an appearance, almost being caught to being caught, blackmailing, nipple/breast play, nonconsensual stripping, reader being scared and crying, dacryphilia. » pairing(s) › jungkook x f!reader x jimin | student(s) x professor (college) » word(s) › 3.4k+ » song playing › wreak havoc by skylar gray » note(s) › thank you for reading!❤️

[02:15pm] “Hey, are you okay, honey?” Seokjin asks, taking a look at your trembling form. He doesn't know what's going on but he knows you haven't been yourself for a couple of weeks now. He knows something is wrong but you won’t tell him what it is. “Sweetheart?”

“I swear I’m okay, Jinnie.” You try your best to smile away his worry when he jokingly traps you against your desk, your resolve starts to break. “Jin-“

“You’d tell me if something is wrong, right?”

“Y-Yes, love.”

“Good.” He doesn't move as he glances down to your lips and back to your eyes. When he leans forward to kiss you it takes everything in you not to break and blurt out your grievances. You know they are on their way to your office (for all you know they could already be outside listening). The last thing you need is for them to find out he knows.

You don’t know what they would do to him.

You don’t want to see him get hurt because of your naivety.

“Well, I’ll see you at home, alright sweetheart?” You frown as Seokjin grabs you by the chin to get you to look at him. You haven't said a word and Seokjin is starting to worry more by the second. “Baby, did you hear me?”

“What?” You blink repeatedly before realizing he's waiting for you to say something back. Shit, what did he say? “I- uh…”

“You’re distracted.”

“I’m not, Jinnie. I just-” You pause before glancing back up him with a soft smile. This one more genuine than the last. “It's okay, I'll see you when you get home.”

You go to move your arms to wrap around his neck as he does the same with your waist. Loosely holding you but stroking your sides to comfort you. You don't want to lose this but you know if Seokjin finds out what's going on, all hell will break loose.

You don't want that to happen. You don't want him having to deal with the brunt of it all if those videos surface. Not only will your reputation be tarnished but so will his by association (even if it isn't your fault).

So right now, in this moment, you want to capture the feeling he gives you when he leans in to kiss you on the lips. How soft and plush his lips feel when they finally brush against yours and the all-around happiness that's forever associated with your relationship and your husband.

Because you know that light can be dimmed at any given moment.

“Did you hear me?” Jin asks before taking one of your hands and bringing it up to his lips to gently kiss.

“Oh, no. What did you say?”

“I said I love you. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do.” You coerce a little smile but you know he sees right through you. Seven years of marriage can tell you a lot about a person. “I love you too.”

“Good.” He chuckles, “So, are you going to tell me what's wrong?”

“I just have a lot on my mind, that's all.” You frown, knowing he's probably not buying it but there's no way they're not outside and waiting. “I’m fine, baby. I promise.”

Seokjin sighs. He knows you're not but if you won't tell him, he can't force you.

“I don't know what's going on,” Seokjin starts, placing his hands over top of yours to hold. He doesn't know why you won't tell him and it hurts but, hell let it go… for now. “Just…” He frowns, eyebrows furrowed as he plays with your fingers. For the life of him, he can't understand why you won't say anything. “I'm not going to force you to talk about it but I am here. If you ever want to talk about what's bothering you.”

Once he's said his peace, moves away to turn his back to you and head towards the door. However, something in you doesn't want him to leave. Not when you know what's waiting for you once he leaves.

You grab Seokjin’s hand to pull him back into you as you look him in his eyes. You can see his confusion in the way his brows dip and the way his plump bottom lip purses but he doesn’t say anything. He’s waiting for you to speak first.

“I love you, Jin.” You put an emphasis on telling him how you feel as he smiles softly. His eyes sparkle with some much love. Your heart feels as if it’s going to burst and crumble at the mere thought of hurting him.

“Don't want me to leave, huh?”

You shake your head and throw your arms around his waist to keep him from moving. He can't see the tears that threaten to fall. The way your chest rises and falls with your anxiety spiking. Because no, you don't want him to leave. You want to be safe and sound, back at home and laying in his arms with him telling you everything will be alright.

“Say it back, please?”

He misses the desperation in your voice but obliges. Why wouldn't he? You're his wife. His family. He loves you more than life. Of course, he’ll tell you over and over and over again until you believe it. Until you believe him.

“I love you, Honey.”

“How much?” You know you sound small, insecure in his answer when you know he’s telling the truth. You can’t help it because if you know if word got out about what happened…

You don’t know if Seokjin would be willing to stay by your side through it all.

“Jin?”

“So much that you’re stuck with me until the end of time.” Seokjin chuckles, pulling you off the desk and into his chest. He cups your face to kiss your lips again before caressing the side of your face. “We’re in this together, baby. 100%.” You nod as he feels the first tear fall, making him more alert to your inner turmoil. He brings a finger up to wipe the stray, noticing your head bowed in defeat. He kneels in front of you as he grabs your cold hands to hold. “Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me. We don’t keep secrets.”

“I-I can’t…” You whisper, eyes begging Seokjin not to ask again and to not say much more but he’s not satisfied. He hates seeing you like this. Especially when he doesn’t know why you’re feeling the way that you do and there isn't anything he can do.

“Okay, okay… I won’t push anymore.” He frowns, worried but defeated. He stands to his feet to at least pull you into another hug for some comfort. “Maybe you can talk to Namjoon? It’s what he’s here for.” You nod to appease him and give him false hope, but you know you won’t. He’s too close to Seokjin. He would definitely tell him. “You’re not in a state to teach though. Talk to the dean. Maybe he’ll let you have a half-day.”

“I will.” He kisses you on the forehead, holding you tighter before letting you go. He glances at the clock on your wall as he takes your hand to place a kiss on your wedding ring finger.

”We’ll talk more when I get home tonight, okay?”

“Jin…”

“Not about this. Just…” He tries to word it differently to not alarm you. “Just us. We haven't had one of our talks in so long, honey.”

You hum in response but you also know your husband. You know he’s going to push until you, eventually, break. He’s just giving you a reprieve right now. Sometimes it’s a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it means you won’t hold things in until you either grow angry at the world or shut down. A curse because sometimes he doesn’t know how to let things go.

“My love, my life.” He whispers, hooking his finger under your chin again. He gives you another peck on the lips before taking a step back. “Are you going to be okay to get home safely? I have class in a little bit but I can as-”

“No, no. I’ll be fine.” You wave him off before leading him to the door.

Seokjin hums, running his thumb over your ring. “Text me if you go home.”

“I will.” You pat him on the butt to get him moving. “Now get to class before you’re late.”

“Yeah, Yeah. I’ll see you at home.”

You nod before opening the door to the two you were hoping to get away from. Jimin glares at both of you as Jungkook simply walks inside your office without a care in the world.

“Must be important. See you later, honey.” Seokjin leans in to kiss you on the cheek one last time before heading down the hallway toward the elevator to hurry back to his lecture hall.

You, on the other hand, glance at the pair who are invading your space as you try your hardest to school your emotions. You don’t want to lead on that you’re afraid of what the two will do.

“What can I do for you two?”

Jimin rolls his eyes before smirking. He takes strides to get to the door before closing it and locking it. While he and Jungkook were waiting on you two to finish being disgusting, he made sure no one else was on the floor.

“You already know why we’re here.”

“We missed you, No- Professor.” You and Jimin notice the younger man correcting himself as he smiles. A smile anyone would love on any other occasion if it didn’t hold malicious intent. “You were taking forever! I was about to bust through the door.”

“You surely knew we were coming. I know you saw my text.”

“He’s my husband.” You frown, glancing at the two before taking a step back. “He was c-checking on me…”

“Aw, how sweet.” Jimin mockingly says. He doesn't mean it, you know that much. “You need to get your emotions in check, professor. Surely, you know what will happen if he finds out.”

“Leave him out of this.”

“He’s already in it.” Jimin laughs, taking strides to get to you before pinning you against your desk. “He married you. That was his mistake. Yours was thinking we would let you go. Especially not after that… performance you gave us.”

He starts at your stomach as he traces up to your chest and then to your neck.

“But also, for thinking you were anybody else’s but ours.”

“I never gave you that-“ You gasp when his hand tightens around your neck, your eyes widening when you realize he’s cutting off your air. “Y-You're delusional.”

“Don’t say that,” Jungkook warns. Taking a step forward to flank your left.

“I can’t-“ You try, making eye contact with Jimin but the malevolence in his gaze tells you everything you need to know. He doesn’t care. “P-Ple-“

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

“P-Please. C-can’t br-br…”

“Let go, Hyung…”

Jimin releases his grip, letting you slide to the floor as he kneels in front of you. You can feel your head pounding while the ringing in your ears only gets louder. Your hand goes to hold your neck for comfort as you try to get your breathing back under control.

You look back and forth between Jungkook and Jimin before Jimin stands to his feet to pull you to yours.

“And, here I was going to tell you, you looked… cute today.” Jimin smirks, watching you tremble in place. He feels he’s scared you enough. “God, you make it too easy.”

“Stop, please…” You plead with your captor, wanting nothing more than for them to leave you alone. Find someone else to torture and play with. Although, you wouldn't wish this on any of the other people or teachers on campus. You really can’t recall what you did to make them begin to behave this way.

“Sorry, professor.” Jimin shrugs. “We can’t do that.”

“You’re too much of a prize for that.” Jungkook smiles wide and it unnerves you even more. What are they talking about?

“Prize? I’m not a fucking object for you to win.” You glare at the two students as the mascara you carefully applied this morning rolls down your cheek.

Jimin grips your jaw to turn your face toward his. The pain became unbearable as it shot through your jaw. You fight to keep them from doing anymore damage but he knows his grip hurts. It's the reason he hasn't let go and the reason your fight is diminishing. They know it’s only a matter of time before you break.

And what a mental break it will be.

“Do you know how many of your students wish to be in our position?” Jimin questions, stalking around your body as you stand, stunned at his words.

“What?” You frown before turning to face Jimin but the scowl on his face proves to be too much. Instead your voice grows quieter and you become unsure of the words you’re saying. “That's not true.”

“Oh but it is, professor.” He spits your title like venom as he halts his movement in favor of looking you up and down. From the white silk tank top covered by the cute baby cardigan to the skin tight black skinnies and heeled boots, Jimin wanted to rip all of it off of you. He brings his finger to hook underneath your necklace to use it to pull you closer while smirking. “Do you know how many of your students want to be in your husband’s position? And Vice Versa? Granted, we don't care about him…”

“You drive most of us crazy and you don’t even know it.”

Jungkook takes the step to move behind you to sandwich you between the two men. He moves closer and once he deems himself close enough, he kisses down your neck and brings his hands to caress down your arms. His left hand goes up to your neck to wrap around it while his right hand grips your hands behind your back.

“You’re lucky it’s us and not someone else,” He grunts, squeezing your neck harder but not enough to hurt.

“That’s enough, Jungkook.” Jimin warns, eliciting a sigh from Jungkook. Instead, he goes back to kissing you everywhere his lips can touch. Your neck, the side of your face and lips (just to name a few). Your breathing increases with each kiss, anxiety spiking as you struggle against his grip. You can feel how hard both of them are through their pants. “You see what you do to us?” There’s a sense of teasing to his tone, so sickeningly sweet that it makes you want to vomit.

How did it ever escalade this far?

However, before it can go any further than it has, you hear the door handle jiggle as if someone is trying to get in.

They know it’s Seokjin. The fear in your eyes is evident.

“Honey? Are you still there?” He tries the handle again but to no avail, it doesn’t open. “Why is the door locked?”

Jimin clasps his hand over your mouth when you let out a whimper (no doubt trying to alert your husband). He grits his teeth in annoyance, his eyes glaring into you as if to warn you not to do it again. He glances at Jungkook who nods and moves from behind you as he accidentally knocks your purse to the ground.

“Be quiet!” Jimin's tone is harsh, noticing how the younger shrinks into himself.

“S-Sorry, Hyung.” He whispers before frowning. Jimin waves him off, turning back to you and noticing how you’re trembling in his grasp.

“Don’t say a word.” Jimin grits through his teeth, lips so close to your ear causing you to shudder. You nod, not wanting to piss them off even more than you have. Jimin’s rings dig into your neck as he squeezes to give you a warning. “Hide under the desk.”

You don’t move as all of you hear Seokjin’s keys jingling behind the door. They thought they were safe but of course, life always throws a curveball.

Jimin rips your cardigan off and tosses it on your desk before moving to grip your tank top.

“Move. Now. Jungkook go hide,” Jimin screams, his eyes full of fire as he rips open your tank to reveal an amazing sight. Your breast sits perky and high because of the lace bra you wore today. In addition, it's always a pleasure to see your breasts.

Jimin smirks, watching you instinctively cover yourself from his and Jungkook’s intense view. You quickly move away from them. Your heart races at the thought of your husband seeing you in this compromised position.

Both of their eyes darken as they continue to stare and lick their lips. Jimin deliberately takes another step forward but you're quicker at pulling back. He smirks again. His eyes still trained on you and you can't help but feel a chill run down your spine. The feeling of being embarrassed and exposed is ever so present.

You're cornered.

Trapped.

Though your cat and mouse game is interrupted when you hear the key being put into the lock.

“Hide.” Jungkook nods, glancing toward the small closet that lines the wall by your door and quickly gets inside. Jimin pushes you to hide underneath your desk. While glaring at you, he clamps his hand over your mouth to keep you from making any stupid decisions. He’s so close, you can feel his breath tickle your cheek as the tears fall on top of his hand.

Seokjin steps inside as the door creaks open. Jimin can feel your heart drumming against your chest.

You want to scream for your husband but you’re afraid of what Jimin will do to you if you do. He’s already drugged you, touched you against your will and continues to blackmail you with the video they took of you the first time. You don’t want to know if he will physically harm either of you too.

“You’re so pretty when you cry, sweetheart.” Jimin whispers, but low enough that only you can hear him. He decides to lick your tears off of his hand before grinning almost unnaturally.

It makes you cry harder.

“She must have gone home.” Seokjin concludes before pulling out his phone to call you. You hear the soft buzz within your purse that’s sitting on the other side of the desk. Your ringtone blares when you realize his ringtone is playing. You and Jimin’s eyes widen when you hear Seokjin’s footsteps getting closer to bend down and pick up your purse. “That’s weird.”

Your computer chair shields most of the compromising position the both of you are in. You just hope he doesn’t lean in too far. You don’t know how you’ll explain any of this to him without the idea of you cheating blares at the forefront of his mind.

That’s far from what this is.

Jimin shakes his head, mouthing for you to stay quiet. His eyes drag down your chest, yanking down the offending piece of clothing. You try to fight him but his hand instinctively goes to your throat to choke you.

“Stop.”

Jimin grabs your breasts, the left being squeezed and groped. All the while, he brings the right nipple closer to his mouth to lick a strip over your nipple. You arch your back at the feeling, putting your fist in your mouth and biting down to try and stay quiet. He nips at the barbell piercing that’s poking through your nipple.

At that moment, you can hear Seokjin huff as his dress shoes click against the wooden floor. When you hear your door click, you shove Jimin away as you hurry to fix your clothes.

“Where are you-”

“Get out of my office.” You grind your teeth, fixing your clothes as best you can. You realize some of your buttons are messed up but that’s nothing your cardigan won’t fix. “Get out!”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

You know why and you hate the fact that he’s able to hold that power over you. Helpless, Heartbroken, and Worn. You can’t help but feel exhausted over all of this.

Before you can say another word, Seokjin comes running back into the room to see your disheveled state.

#yandere!bts #bts yandere #jimin x reader #jungkook x reader #jikook x reader #jimin x you #jungkook x you #jmvore #jimin scenarios #jimin fanfic #yandere jimin #yandere jungkook #bts x reader #bts poll #poll

144 notes · View notes