#if you have any footage from this but better quality please give it to me

[lovvecherrymotion]

izpira se zlato

[batsplat]

hello!! i hope you're having an amazing day 🥹💗 do you have any vale's races masterpost?? thank you so much in advance!!

*takes deep breath* *cracks knuckles* *cracks knuckles again for good measure* *rolls up sleeves* *cracks knuckles one more time* yes of course anon. no problem. let's do this

going to forgo any extended intro as this post will be long enough as it is - though it wasn't always easy to both represent the scope of valentino's career and make picks based on actual race quality. there will be a skew towards the early years of his time in the premier class and there are a few obvious fallow spells, but I hope I've adequately done justice to most of his very, very long career... and used the asterisk system to do my quality control for me

speaking of - another rec post, another escalation of the asterisk system (luckily, we have reached the final boss of motogp and it is impossible to escalate beyond this - here are the casey and marc/dovi lists). * means check it out, ** personal fave, *** classic, **** if you watch nothing else please watch these

I also need to mention mat oxley's 'valentino rossi: all his races', which is an excellent reference book that I consulted a fair bit when compiling this list. it's especially invaluable in making sense of the early years - where the archives unfortunately are sorely lacking and I'm grateful for every bit of additional context I can get. about those early years, a little bit of housekeeping with the codes I'll use to indicate in which form these races are available:

ITA: only italian commentary, which means I've found them on youtube. this is relevant only for the very early races. there's upsettingly few of his 125cc and especially 250cc races available even when you include these (though I haven't included all the ones that are available)

HL: only highlights, which is specifically about some of the 2000-01 races. there's only three full races of valentino's first premier class title available in their entirety on the motogp website, which is unfortunate (technically four including valencia, but who would want to watch that). now, the highlights they provide for all the other races aren't actually bad - they're around twenty minutes long for the race themselves so you will see most of the exciting action and the overtakes and all that (though it does raise the question of 'why don't you just upload the full races')

NC: no commentary, and is mainly an issue for the 2002 races that are all uploaded in their entirety but... well, only a few with commentary. obviously not ideal especially with older races. my recommendation would be watching the very short highlights (aka 2-3 minutes of actual race footage with commentary) available on the website for each of the 2002 races - either after or even before watching the race - to just give yourself a better sense of what you're watching

as ever, the descriptions will frequently provide spoilers for the result. my spoiler-free top ten recommendations are: donington park 2000 suzuka 2001 phillip island 2001 brno 2003 phillip island 2003 welkom 2004 donington park 2005 laguna seca 2008 catalunya 2009 assen 2015

and here, ten more spoiler-free recs because it really is a bloody long career: sachsenring 2003 mugello 2004 phillip island 2004 jerez 2005 sachsenring 2006 sepang 2006 catalunya 2007 motegi 2010 argentina 2015 assen 2017

**brno 1996: I find it very charming when riders have early career races that tell you everything you need to know about them. this is valentino's first grand prix win, achieved from his first pole position. he has an awful start, ends up way down the order, fights his way through, is eventually caught by this 34 year old former world champion who he does not like, fights him for a bit, stalks him and lets him draw them away from the pack in what the commentators consider remarkable confidence and poise from a seventeen year old, loses touch enough with the race leader that it looks like he's surely lost the race before pulling out a crazy last lap with some hard racing™ to overtake that other bloke. after he crosses the finish line he's so excited he almost rides into the wall. deeply excessive celebratory fist pumping that just goes on and on and on. angelic smile on the podium as the bloke he's beaten looks rather peeved - and apparently complained about valentino's riding afterwards. what more is there to say, really

^driving his elders to drink. here's a video where valentino is talking about the race: "and from there a fight to the death came out because we didn't get along very well. we weren't very nice to each other because we were bothering each other throughout the championship". like I said, tells you everything you need to know about him. just watch this one and call it a day

nurbuergring 1997 (ITA): an early strong wet weather performance, at a time when he was still a bit of a wimp about the whole riding in the rain thing. granted, he was a little lucky when the runaway race leader had a mechanical dnf, but he got into a nice little scrap with a few other riders to claim his fourth consecutive victory

rio 1997 (ITA): the thing about 125cc/moto3 races is you kinda know what you're getting, and more often than not what you're getting is a fun time watching them go at it. valentino's first, he's third, he's first again, they're having it out... and then on the final lap, he's taking advantage of the backmarkers to secure the victory. which is so sneaky and so valentino that it obviously deserves to be mentioned here. incidentally, his last ever win at assen 2017 had a controversial involvement of a backmarker on the last lap, which is a nice little full circle moment twenty years later

brno 1997: in many ways, this was a more impressive ride from his title rival ueda, who came back from thirteenth on the grid to take the win. which meant that valentino had to finish on the podium to claim his 125cc title at the same venue where he won his first race... and he just about managed it, with the entire leading group of riders headed into the final corner together

there are race highlights in the 5-10 minute range from his 250cc race years which... well. since they're not anywhere close to full races and this is a race recs list, I can't exactly give them their own bullet points, but I'll just rattle through a few highlight videos here I enjoyed from 1998: jerez (features a nifty overtake with four blokes entering one corner together, also harada fucked with valentino despite being a lap down to help capirossi win?? anyway vale's first 250cc podium, to which harada showed up to clap for capirossi specifically???); mugello (featuring his controversial beachwear celebration); paul ricard (see below); catalunya (he spent a lot of that year crashing but towards the end of the season finally figured it out - works his way back from thirteenth place to win), argentina (controversial title decider claxon; valentino found the whole thing so "hilarious" he was giggling when the drama was going off in the garage. he also referenced the jerez incident in his post-race interview, because of course he did)

^the three protagonists of the 1998 250cc season: valentino, harada and capirossi, all part of the same nightmarish aprilia 'super team'. everything I've read about that season makes me want to break into dorna hq and get my hands on the full race footage. both images are from the paul ricard race, in which valentino was trying to figure out how to stop harada from continuously outsmarting him. they kept slowing down the pace further and further, with harada running his bike comically wide to let valentino through and valentino doing a massive wheelie down the straight (image on the right) to force harada to go back past - but harada still eventually managed to best him on the final lap. valentino was heavily criticised in the press for wanting to 'humiliate' capirossi by letting capirossi catch up to the pair, but really he was just getting creative in his tactics. I may not have been able to 'watch' this season but I love it dearly

donington park 1999 (ITA): the ONE 250cc race I've been able to watch in its entirety. it was stopped and restarted due to the weather and the final outcome was decided on aggregate time across the two races (yeah, this does feel weird but they used to do that). a close fight especially in the first part. not too wet, presumably, given his 250cc performances in the soaking wet were often. hm. not great

1999 highlights I enjoyed: catalunya (was riding with a suspension glitch but kept his main title rival ukawa behind him anyway); sachsenring (won an intense battle with capirossi, admittedly you do not see much of him in the highlights); brno (another intense fight, this time mainly with an older rider in waldmann after they both worked their way through the field); phillip island (worked his way to the win from seventh on the grid and one of those phillip island races)

jerez 2000 (HL): valentino's initiation to the premier class wasn't... the most dignified thing you'll ever see... two dnf's in the first two races by which point he was so bloody terrified of the bike he was just very slow in the third. in his defence, those 500cc bikes were pretty scary, but also it was time to get his act together. which he did in jerez! this was another one of those weird ones where the rain interrupted the race and then the whole thing was decided on aggregate time, but a good ride to bag his first premier class podium

**donington park 2000: maybe it was the bikes, maybe it was experience, maybe it was a mindset thing, but eventually he would get over his moral objections to 'getting wet' and develop into an excellent wet weather racer in the premier class. this was his first premier class win - and a pretty neat way to seal it too. had an awful start, took a while to figure out the grip conditions, and then he was off. the second half of the race involved a fun fight between valentino and both roberts jr and mcwilliams for the victory

^almost gave the commentators a heart attack by running a defensive line through the final corner that took him completely off the dry racing line

rio 2000 (NC/HL - as in, both are available): valentino's second win of the year and his first in the dry, the race after his late charge to a rookie title was scuppered by a crash in valencia. he made some adjustments to his riding style after the valencia fiasco and really started to get to grips with the 500cc, which would stand him in good stead the following year. as is traditional, he makes a truly horrendous start, dropping back from the front row to find himself briefly outside of the top ten. from there, he gets to work. it's confident stuff, getting himself to the lead by about half distance and pulling away from there

**suzuka 2001: the first race of 2001 and a clear statement of intent. as ever, valentino had to work his way through the field... which took him right into the path of max biaggi, a man who had already been his enemy before they started actually racing each other. now, it has to be said, biaggi is a dick here! quite literally elbows valentino while running him off-track and could easily have caused vale to crash (as valentino said afterwards, "I had to learn how to ride motocross-style at 140 mph"), he continues using various body parts rather creatively in defending his position. when valentino finally gets past, he sticks out his middle finger. set the tone for that season rather nicely

jerez 2001: this is the cool-headed, calculating valentino who would prove such a formidable foe over the years. having already won the first two races of the season, he's high on confidence as he engages in a duel with the man who had so captured his imagination as a teenager: norifumi abe. valentino takes his time - but when he finally makes the decisive pass, he pulls clear so easily it feels like valentino may have just been toying with his hero all along

^valentino and norick, the inspiration for 'rossifumi'. in 2008, valentino paid tribute to the other man a year after his passing: "norick for me was a hero. I grew up watching the suzuka 500 race in 1994 with the great battle he had together with schwantz and doohan. last year was a shit year for me when I heard of the death of norick and colin mcrae, for me it was not a great year. I think it is possible to dedicate this championship to norick”

catalunya 2001 (HL): I don't care if there's only highlights - I am not leaving out a race that sparked a fist fight. honestly if I were biaggi I'd be pissed about this race too. valentino was twelfth at the end of the first lap and ended up winning... painful, truly. a really good scrap, plenty of fun to watch as valentino always is at catalunya, and obviously you've also got to watch the presser clips with the knowledge they were throwing hands a few minutes earlier

assen 2001 (HL): this one was low-key kinda stolen from valentino. it's good fun - y'know, one of those assen battles, valentino's doing the stalking and lurking thing and it starts raining and valentino takes the lead and... whoops! time to call off the race due to the rain so let's take the results from the previous lap! biaggi win! imagine getting into a fist fight with someone and losing the very next race to them on a technicality. oof

^post-fist fight handshake to show how it's all fine. they're totally fine. completely fine. no problems here

*donington park 2001 (HL): I'm gonna be so real, if I'm on pole and my title rival starts eleventh and he ends up beating me to the win by 1.8s, I think I just call it a day after that one. valentino had a bad crash during practise where he was lucky to not really hurt himself and then obviously had a pretty terrible qualifying, so a great opportunity for biaggi to claw back some points. worst bit is, vale didn't even make a good start - he was still in eleventh place halfway through the first lap. good fun to watch him pick his way through the field, and in his autobiography he ranks this race near the very top in terms of ones that gave him the most "satisfaction"

****phillip island 2001: look, if you've seen one of those classic multi-rider dogfights at phillip island, then, here, I've got a version of that for you from 2001. it's just so much fun to watch, with so many different riders and rider constellations and run orders at various parts of the race, riders looking like they'll break away and getting caught again etc etc etc. and it is also a match point race for valentino - a relatively comfortable one given his formidable championship lead. he didn't need to win the race to take the title, but would you want to see your greatest enemy take the spoils on your big day? in the most dramatic fashion possible, valentino ends up right behind biaggi on the very last lap and makes a daring overtake for the victory. hard to beat that as a way of sealing your first premier class title

*suzuka 2002: you know how I said in the marc rec post that I found it tricky to pick out a few for 2014 because a lot of the races were good without being all timers? this is valentino's equivalent season - he's winning, life is great-ish, tricky to differentiate, and if you enjoy any of these races you'll probably enjoy them all. mostly I'm just going to include the ones with commentary available, even though I'm too stubborn to let dorna completely make my choices for me here. anyway, this one is available with commentary and it's a good watch... valentino hadn't had the easiest weekend to start off his title defence, crashed badly twice, bloodied his hands, all that. he had a sluggish start in the wet conditions and worked his way up the field, before sitting on the rear tyre of the japanese wildcard akira ryo for a while - who knew the track well and knew where all the puddles were. a smart and composed win and feels very typical of his wet weather performances over the years

jerez 2002 (NC): in my head, this is the sister race to le mans 2014. valentino is pushed down quite a few spots to ninth early on (kenny roberts jr just. shoves him aside and does the thing where he gestures back to apologise, but that doesn't really help valentino when half a dozen bikes have passed him) and then he gets down to business. that whole season really does have that 2014 vibe of 'right this is fun but also feels a little too easy' - but hey, the way valentino picks his way through the field is satisfying to watch. and valentino did always like to play with his food, so he sits behind barros for a fair bit before doing the inevitable

*assen 2002: so, the thing about 2002 is that it was the first year of the rebrand to motogp and the introduction of the four-stroke bikes... but you still had two-stroke bikes on the grid, which tended to be tragically outgunned. the circuits where they were competitive tended to be the ones where they could take advantage of how 'nimble' the old bikes were, with more corners and fewer straights - and honestly, if you go on a race-by-race level you could make the case that on-track barros on his two-stroke machine (for most of the year) was valentino's most important rival that season. this is a head-to-head duel with barros that nicely showcases the respective strengths and weaknesses of two such different bikes and riders riding them, and barros manages to mount a stern challenge to valentino for most of the race

*sachsenring 2002: I do find it a little funny that this is one of the ones with commentary they've provided, because there's a bit of an anti-climax close to the end and I'm not sure valentino should have won that race. anyway, similarly to assen, this is another week where the two-strokes can put up a proper fight, and it's an engaging scrap that involves a lot of riders and quite a few nice little shifts in momentum. like above, another interesting study in how the different bikes compare in direct combat

phillip island 2002 (NC): always fun when someone builds up a bit of a gap on valentino. as was so often the case that year, it was barros (now on a four-stroke) who served as valentino's closest challenger, and valentino took his time hunting him down. from there, it's familiar material from the rossi playbook, stalking and studying before making his move - but barros sticks very very close to valentino until he makes an error on the last lap

^is it a bird is it a plane etc etc... don't think this was supposed to mean anything, just being silly

okay we're now headed into the 2003-05 stretch and I should mention that most of the races in that era will also have been featured in this post, which might also be useful to put them into context

*le mans 2003: valentino tries to make a break for it, but the rain denies him. he raises his hand to get the race called off (you could do this as the race leader back in the day, or I suppose also not do that if you wanted to be an asshole)... and immediately almost falls off his bike so. uh. probably a good idea to get it called off. when the race resumes, it's a three-way tussle between valentino, barros, and new challenger sete gibernau, even if at times it's less tussling and more wobbling. in the last couple of laps, it's down to sete and valentino to have it out in the treacherous conditions - and the last lap is proper dramatic. sete had already gotten one over valentino in welkom... but this defeat, coming after valentino had led the race, must surely have stung even more

*catalunya 2003: I feel a little mean making my first three 2003 picks races valentino all lost in quite painful fashion, but, hey, it's character building and really set up his whole arc for the next season-and-a-half. this one is... well. it's both embarrassing and kinda neat from vale. most of this race consists of a duel with capirossi - and when valentino hits the front, you do think that's going to be it. capirossi keeps close, however, and valentino eventually makes an error, running wide to let him through. shortly afterwards, he makes even a worse mistake and runs off into the gravel. once he's fucked up it's a pretty fun performance, where he starts posting pleasingly insane lap times to recover from sixth back to second

***sachsenring 2003: this race will always be remembered for valentino's penultimate corner overtake followed by his last corner mistake that resulted in sete's unlikely victory, but the race before that is good fun too! valentino looks like he'll make a break for it, and obviously miserably fails in his attempt - this time he's the one to be slowly, slowly, slowly caught by a persistent rival who eventually manages to get the better of him again. after this race, valentino vowed he wouldn't be taking any more prisoners. he didn't

****brno 2003: after a horrifying four race losing streak and the humiliation of sachsenring, valentino came back from the summer break with new determination and hunger and a mission to not let anyone get in his way any more. he does not have an easy time of it at brno, with a classic multi-rider dogfight that features regular and dramatic shake-ups of the riders' fortunes. the finish is incredibly close, and vale could have easily been denied the opportunity to pull out his elaborate victory celebrations: dressing up as a convict to symbolise how he felt imprisoned by his own success. here is a more in-depth post about the race

****phillip island 2003: this starts off in classic phillip island fashion, with a bunch of riders having it out in the early laps. then, valentino takes the lead and makes a break for it, and it looks like the excitement of the rest of the race will be all about the fierce fight for the remaining podium positions... except there's a twist. valentino overtook another rider under yellow flag conditions - and unlike donington that year where he was retroactively slapped with a ten second penalty that denied him the win, this time he is informed of the penalty during the race. this race is about as exhilarating as it is possible for a race to get when you're watching someone riding alone in the front - and you'll be provided with some added spice with the scrap for the last podium place. in the end, valentino crosses the finishing line with an obscene margin of over fifteen seconds

^think I already posted these notes somewhere but I can't NOT mention the commentary for this race. bottom of this post I included the autobiography excerpt about how valentino channelled his fury to win this race - very revealing!

****welkom 2004: still perhaps valentino's favourite victory of them all, and with good reason. his first race with yamaha and one that the entire paddock thought he didn't have a hope of winning... until they hit the track that weekend. valentino led every single session and qualified on pole: he said the pole position felt as good as ten with honda. better yet was still to come, with valentino claiming a victory following a thrilling duel against his old foe biaggi that raged on until the very last lap. such was the pace that third-placed sete was seven seconds down on the top pair at the chequered flag

^valentino stopped at the side of the track after his win, kissing his bike and sitting down for a moment to soak in the moment. he says he was laughing into his helmet: "'and so in the end I was right!' I thought to myself. 'I can't believe it, I screwed them all... what a show!'"

****mugello 2004: this race has so much going on, and all of it is highly enjoyable. valentino might have won the last two races at mugello - but off the back of two fourth places and with mugello's famously terrifying long straight, it felt like surely the more powerful hondas would have the decisive edge. and this one is a hard fight for valentino. it's a hard fight with several riders, it's a hard fight with sete and, following an interruption due to the rain, it's a hard fight in mixed conditions where valentino initially drops back to seventh to figure out the grip levels - before speeding off to the win. all the best types of races rolled into one

***catalunya 2004: right after mugello, it's time to visit sete's home - and here valentino kicks off a bit of a tradition of memorable one-on-one catalunya duels... as well as a habit of beating spaniards at the track. it's hard fought, it's challenging, but again valentino emerges on top

***assen 2004: the third consecutive race that featured an extended duel with sete. initially involving barros too - but he crashes, and it's down to the familiar protagonists. this really works as the last episode of that mini-trilogy because you can tell how badly sete felt he needed to reassert himself in that title fight, and conversely how little interest valentino had in letting him do so. involves a hard last lap overtake that resulted in contact. sete was not best pleased, but valentino had secured the win and the championship lead

^left: catalunya, where valentino dons the doctor's garb to perform a series of 'medical checks' on his yamaha, feat. stethoscope and thermometer, before declaring it fit for duty. right: assen, where yamaha staff dress up as doctors to pay tribute to him

qatar 2004: a good old-fashioned hubris ride. valentino was slapped with a back-of-the-grid penalty for some midnight grid cleaning shenanigans and is furious about this. he gets quite possibly the best start of his career and is eighth after a few corners, continues charging and barging his way through the field... before crashing and mashing up his finger and reopening that year's championship fight. the race does get a little dull after valentino does his thing - here are the ten most relevant minutes of footage as well as some more details about the penalty and the race. the weekend that irrevocably damaged his relationship with sete

***phillip island 2004: an underrated spite ride. if you're in the penultimate race of the season and you know a second place is enough to clinch the title and you're over a second behind your title rival and you historically suck at the circuit where title deciders are held, the sensible thing to do is just ride home in second place when it becomes clear the third-placed guy is not catching up. obviously, valentino does not do this, not least because he is determined to stop sete from ever winning a race again. this goes down to the very last lap and it is either a very cool or a very dumb way to seal a title, depending on how you look at it

****jerez 2005: both protagonists make very little secret from the start of the race of just how much they want to beat each other: this is war. and it's a war in which sete has the upper hand for most of the way through (as much as you can really feel you have the 'upper hand' with valentino sitting on your rear tyre) - until valentino makes his move with three laps to go. it takes an error from valentino on the last lap to set up the dramatic and controversial finale, with the infamous valentino block pass that sent his bike careening into sete's. the actions of a man who had decided neither of them finishing the race was a more acceptable outcome than his enemy taking the win, and the relationship between the two riders manages to improbably deteriorate still further

^satisfied with a good day's work as the furious spaniards jeer. if anyone had any lingering doubts about valentino's trademark ruthlessness, they were dispelled that day

**mugello 2005: another year, another thrilling mugello battle. it's looking increasingly clear that this will be a one-rider title fight, but luckily that isn't impacting the race quality (think marc's 2019, where he was incidentally the same age as valentino is here). similarly to the year before, there's cause for concern whenever you're fighting more powerful bikes at mugello, but after a dramatic multi-rider fight valentino is not to be denied

**catalunya 2005: back on sete soil and oh god how much he would have loved to win this race. it's the tension and hatred and desperation that makes these races so exciting to watch - though sete is hardly helped out in his mission of revenge by teammate marco melandri who keeps sabotaging sete's attempts to defy valentino's curse. but melandri has whatever the opposite of main character energy is and the race ends up being another valentino/sete duel. some excellent riding by the pair of them, valentino is particularly fearsome on the brakes that day, and sete has truly taken his gloves off when fighting valentino. but of course, valentino denies sete once again and makes a break for it shortly before the end

****donington park 2005: the defining wet weather ride of valentino's career - even though it got off to a shaky start (literally) and continued to be pretty shaky most of the way. this race was held in truly appalling conditions that they probably would not race in these days, and it's reflected in the number of dnf's - one of which was courtesy of poor sete gibernau once again crashing out of the lead. for most of the way, valentino is wobbling his way into the lead and wobbling his way out of it again... but after some big scares and some time spent nicely sheltering behind other riders, he finally figures out the grip conditions - and he's off. it's one of those rides that is just demoralising for everyone else in how good it is, with valentino pulling insultingly far clear from the other riders with insulting ease

^valentino plays a violin after crossing the finish line. teammate edwards: "I looked at his data and it was scary. he was locking the front in the rain on a shitty track that was slicker than snot, at every corner. this guy's crazy!" not pictured - valentino hugging himself and shivering while parking the bike... and being provided with an anorak and gloves that he only very, very, very reluctantly relinquishes when stepping onto the podium

*le mans 2005: you realise fairly quickly that this one's building to something juicy. colin edwards, valentino's teammate, takes the lead and heads out on his own, as valentino sets off after him - eventually slotting into his favourite position sitting right on the leader's rear tyre. except, he can't afford to hang around - because sete is going faster than both of them and is rapidly catching up. this one really gets going when the inevitable happens and the three of them collide on track, and of course we end up with another sete/valentino duel. cruelly, it's another one where the winner is still not entirely decided when they enter the very final lap... but the curse will not be denied. valentino breaks the circuit record on the last lap

*sachsenring 2005: the problem with watching these races is that even if you would prefer not to know the result going in... well, every single time the race comes down to a duel between sete and valentino post-qatar 2004, however strong sete looks, however confident, however near he is to the victory... you know he's obviously not going to make it. my advice is to really lean into it - the joy/horror of it all is in discovering how it's going to go wrong this time. this race features another lovely duel between valentino and sete, at a track that suits the honda far better than it does the yamaha. valentino leads early on before sete manages to catch up and overtake him. two laps to go and sete is still in the lead as valentino stalks him around... you know how this story goes

*brno 2005: ah, the misery. listen, if you enjoyed the previous sete/valentino duels I listed, then you're going to enjoy this one too. it's the race immediately following sachsenring and it feels like basically they just continued the last one, and boy are they going at it from the very start. sete determinedly sticks with valentino and surely one of these has to go his way... includes a particularly cruel twist on the final lap

qatar 2005: one year on from the race in which valentino put his curse on sete, and it feels like this might be sete's best chance for the remainder of the season to free himself. he gets perilously close to making a break for it ahead of the battling melandri and valentino... but of course, he can never run far enough. another painful defeat (if one caused by melandri more than valentino) and eventually valentino claims victory at the circuit that had caused him such trouble the year before

qatar 2006: valentino's 2006 season got off to a tricky start when toni elias rode into him in the very first corner of the opening race, and his luck didn't get much better from there. still, the year featured plenty of excellent valentino rides - including the second race of the season, where he fought his way through from sixth on the grid. features his first tussle with the rookie pole sitter, one casey stoner, who defends sternly against his future rival. eventually, valentino faces off against nicky hayden in a decent extended scrap that went on for much of the race

***mugello 2006: boy, did valentino get himself involved in some banger races at this circuit during his time. sete tries to escape at the front, and even in a tough year like 2006 valentino will not allow that man a moment's rest. a duel between sete and valentino ensues (featuring melandri and casey), then valentino suddenly drops down to fifth, then the race turns into a three-way encounter between capirossi, hayden, and... still valentino. he emerges from the feisty fray with a much-needed win

***sachsenring 2006: you could copy paste 'much-needed win' any time valentino won this year, and sachsenring is no exception. not traditionally his strongest track, valentino's urgency produced one hell of a race ripe with tension throughout. the yamaha's struggles made for a difficult qualifying and he fought his way through from eleventh on the grid. even when he caught the leaders and passed them, he couldn't just clear off like in times past, dragging three dogged riders along with him - but he just about managed to hold them off for the win

****sepang 2006: one of the best valentino duels, this time featuring one of his oldest rivals in the form of loris capirossi. part of his remarkable late season charge that brought him within kissing distance of the title. the entire race is enjoyable but the final lap is one for the ages, with valentino vicious in both attack and defence

^no hard feelings: capirossi hugs valentino while vale is still on the bike. 2006 is a rare title fight in which valentino genuinely liked most of his major rivals. vale was exhausted after the battle in the gruelling sepang conditions and had a little sit down after hugging his team

phillip island 2006: the first bike swap race and quite frankly the whole thing is a mess. a lot happens and it's classic late season chaos where the championship standings and implications are chopping and changing by the lap. when the dust settles, valentino has snagged third place on the last lap off poor sete gibernau and chips away a little more at hayden's championship lead

***estoril 2006: sure, valentino lost the 2006 title when he crashed at valencia, but he also lost it by .002s in estoril. this race featured a dramatic twist in the title fight when rookie dani pedrosa wiped out his teammate hayden, and suddenly valentino had to consider just how much risk he was willing to take. he had mostly decided to play it safe - but then couldn't help himself and ended up attacking toni elias on the very last lap. if he had managed to bag the extra five points, then even with the valencia crash he would have won the title on countback

valencia 2006: everyone thought valentino would be winning the title again headed into the weekend, and they became even more certain of it when valentino qualified on pole. but in the end, it was not to be. valentino got a poor start and felt something was wrong with the bike (or maybe it was the tyres, if one casey stoner is to be believed), but admits the mistake that left him on the ground was his own. a bitter pill to swallow after a season plagued by misfortunes, though valentino had always gotten on well with title winner nicky hayden and was sincere in his congratulations

****catalunya 2007: from the start of 2007, it was clear that new ducati hire casey stoner would be a problem. with yamaha's struggles continuing into the new 800cc era, ducati had gotten it spot on at the first try... even if it was only casey who could completely tame their troublesome bike. for a while, it seemed easy to dismiss casey's victories as built primarily on the back of the infamous ducati horsepower, but at catalunya casey proved he was far more than just a powerful engine. one of the true classic catalunya duels, with both riders displaying dazzling race craft, and one of casey's finest career victories

***assen 2007: valentino's season wasn't getting any easier - the yamaha was one thing but his continued struggles with the michelin tyres if anything frustrated him even more. he qualified in eleventh place and doesn't get a particularly good start while casey streaks off in the front. casey is over five seconds clear at one stage, but valentino manages to hunt down his title rival anyway. it's studying and stalking and lurking and all the rest of it, and as ever casey doesn't make it easy for him - but eventually valentino manages to pass him and pull clear

*estoril 2007: casey's championship was more or less wrapped up by this point, though valentino was able to deny him just a little longer at the first match point race. this features a nice scrap between casey and valentino, and then an extended duel with dani that is perhaps the best fight the two of them ever had. it was a much-needed win in a rough patch for valentino on- and off-track - and he dedicated it to one of his idols, the rally legend colin mcrae who had just passed away

**catalunya 2008: yes, okay, I know he won the three races before that one - but this one's a more fun race! after an initial adaptation period to his shiny new bridgestone tyres, his season had finally properly kicked off with the aforementioned three race win streak. at catalunya, valentino only qualified in ninth, and pedrosa streaked off in front - but valentino and casey engaged in a highly enjoyable rematch of the previous year's duel. in the end, it was valentino who prevailed, but casey and ducati had clearly gotten their own house in order...

^the version of valentino that marc first met, before vale's race in his special football-themed livery and leathers

****laguna seca 2008: after catalunya, casey stormed on to win the next three races on the trot, typically by ominous margins. heading into laguna seca, a race casey had dominated with ease the year before and valentino had never gone particularly well at, valentino knew casey might be in danger of running away with this championship... and he was determined to do something to finally conduct this rivalry on his terms. nobody expected there would be a contest for the victory, let alone one valentino won - but he did, in a brutal encounter that served as a masterclass in psychological intimidation. the relationship between the two rivals did not emerge unscathed

*indianapolis 2008: another race, another mediocre start, if this time from pole. it sets up a fun (to watch) race in worsening conditions, as valentino takes his time to get comfortable with the grip levels before slowly and surely working his way through the field and stalking first casey then nicky hayden around the track. he makes it to the front before eventually the race has to be called off - and, in a rare moment of unity, valentino and casey are seen briefly talking to ezpeleta together, presumably to tell him they have less than zero interest in going out again in that weather. they get their way and the race is called off, with valentino bagging his fourth consecutive victory - a streak he of course started at laguna. his second and last win on US soil

motegi 2008: the title-sealing race and fifth consecutive win - not the most exciting entry on this list, but earns its place by featuring a bit of a duel between title rivals casey and valentino for the lead (after they both get past dani, casey in a rather rude way that he apologises for with a hand gesture) (not that he gives the position back and valentino immediately swoops through too). motegi had always been one of vale's weakest tracks, and it must have felt extra sweet to clinch the title at the home race of his perennial enemies at honda (as he miserably failed to do in 2005 in a deeply embarrassing performance)

^'scusate il ritardo', or 'sorry for the delay': this title was special given the heartache of the two previous years. all smiles with casey and jorge (who comes to parc fermé to congratulate his teammate)

*sepang 2008: as was sometimes rare in that era, this race involves several good fights going on simultaneously down the order. the fight for the victory ends up coming down to valentino and dani, and it's a nice little duel they put on - plus there's also dovi's dramatic fight for the final podium position to enjoy

jerez 2009: dani and valentino's young teammate jorge lorenzo are the clear pre-race favourites and there's a slight fear one of them will run away with it... but jorge never quite finds his groove and ends up crashing, while dani very much does not run away with it. valentino finds something extra after being absolutely nowhere all weekend, as he had a habit of doing. features valentino shadowing first casey and dani - and a particularly nifty contact-free block pass at the infamous final corner on casey. valentino's first win of a tough season

****catalunya 2009: one of valentino's finest career victories - and another example of his ability to wrest control of a season when he needed to. off the back of two tricky/embarrassing races at le mans/mugello, it felt like the time had come to demonstrate he was a serious contender in that year's championship... as well as assert himself within yamaha over his increasingly troublesome young teammate. the stakes are clear: jorge sorely wanted to win in front of his home crowd and valentino sorely wanted to beat him there. after a strong start, the physically ailing casey falls back, letting jorge and valentino soar off and fight it out as they take turns to tail each other around the track. a duel for the ages and the victory that transforms his fortunes in that season (some more details in this post)

**sachsenring 2009: a few races after catalunya, it was once again jorge and valentino to fight it out for the win - unusual for two yamahas at that track. it's a duel that has been overshadowed by catalunya, but this is another gem: a close and dramatic battle at a time when it felt like jorge was the one who had something to prove. but valentino demonstrates how hard it still is to best him in head-to-head combat, and he ends up beating the number 99 bike by the pleasing margin of .099s (listen I have no evidence for this but in my heart of hearts I 100% believe he noticed and appreciated this fact)

misano 2009: this race followed valentino's massive error in indianapolis, crashing and reopening the championship fight at a time when it looked like he had things perfectly under control. his traditional special home race helmet is dedicated to taking the piss out of himself - featuring a donkey because of how "stupid" he had been. but in misano he was the "flying donkey"... look, it's not the best race you'll ever watch, but after a poor start (surely not), he does do quite a nice job to overtake dani for the lead. in parc fermé, his team dons donkey ears, and he gets his own pair to wear to the podium as he greets his ecstatic fans

**sachsenring 2010: valentino's early season was troubled by a motocross shoulder injury he'd picked up after qatar, and he had to push harder and harder to keep up with an ever-improving jorge. eventually, he pushed too hard and broke his leg in mugello. this was his first race back, returning sooner than anyone had expected (except casey, who thought people were making too big a deal out of the whole thing) - and he immediately was on the pace, to everyone's surprise (not casey's, who thought valentino's main problem was just losing a bit of muscle mass). this race features an excellent duel between casey and valentino in the closing stages for the final podium position, with casey stealing it from valentino at the very last gasp. it was an impressive performance by the pair of them, a heartwarming demonstration of how mediocre bikes and broken legs can be overcome by the power of mutual contempt

***motegi 2010: do you ever feel overcome by the sudden urge to watch someone be an absolute asshole for no good reason? if so, then I have the perfect race for you. jorge is very close to clinching that year's title, and in truth it's a pretty sure-fire thing given dani is out with injury. still, it's generally not considered good form to ride into your teammate at the best of times. valentino continues to struggle with his fucked up shoulder late into the season, but spite will do all kinds of magical things for you. it's a race-long battle for third place between the yamaha teammates, and the last few laps in particular are uh. intense. features valentino dangling out his leg to increasingly comical extents - whether to try and mitigate the shoulder issues or whether to physically block jorge is anyone's guess. jorge basically rides right into the leg more than once. there are at least three separate extremely dubious moves valentino pulls on jorge. you can tell jorge is losing his mind. you can feel the sheer concentrated malice radiating off valentino. when valentino gets off the bike, the mic picks up how he tells the yamaha team that it "was fun". not everyone would agree

^you'd think a season in which valentino had broken his leg might be one where everyone lays off the dramatics a little, but somehow this year was the one in which valentino's relationships with both of his main rivals soured considerably and made the final step from 'rivalry' to 'feud'. there'll always be a slight air of unfinished business to the casey rivalry in particular, but 2010 did end up unwittingly providing us with a few gems. in the motegi qualifying press conference (pictured above), vale talks about how he knows he needs shoulder surgery - but is determined to delay the surgery until the end of the season. it wasn't a good decision for his shoulder

**sepang 2010: the race that immediately follows motegi. valentino doesn't qualify particularly well and starts worse, dropping back to 12th during the first lap as jorge and dovi set out in front. but valentino determinedly sets after them - and when he catches up, they engage in a lovely three-way scrap in the race in which jorge can seal the championship... as long as valentino doesn't knock him off. this doesn't reach the viciousness of motegi, but it still involves three riders who clearly really want to win and also really want to beat each other. his first victory after the broken leg - and his last one for a long time

jerez 2011: thing is, right, if you just ignore the bit where he wipes both himself and casey out and then has to pick the bike up and start again, it's actually a really good ride! can't fault it! did his thing in the wet again! just one little. uh. blot on the copybook. I wouldn't even say the ambition outweighed the talent as much as it was his patience, given he knew it might be the only chance he'd get for a big result for a while on the struggling ducati. it's the kind of misjudgement he makes relatively rarely in his career, and speaks to his frustrations with the continuing shoulder problems as well as the underperforming desmosedici. casey was less than sympathetic

le mans 2011: it's le mans, it's raining, you know how it goes... these conditions were pretty much the only times valentino could manage a decent pace in his ducati years. this one should've gone on the dovi list too actually, not least because jorge executes an extremely rude move on dovi I feel confident in saying dovi did not appreciate (he gets jorge back with a far more polite and civilised move). casey runs off with the win by a fairly obscene margin but behind him there's plenty of talking points - not least the hugely controversial clash between dani and sic that leaves jorge, dovi and valentino fighting for the two remaining podium spots

*le mans 2012: valentino might have expressed mixed feelings over the course of his career about riding in the wet, but it sure did its job during the ducati years as the great big equaliser. now, point of order: in my casey rec list, I described this as 'not a great casey race', which I don't stand by at all. the last casey/vale duel (that also heavily features a vale/dovi/cal crutchlow tussle), with valentino stalking and harassing casey both at the start and the end of the race - though he did exercise some advisable caution... initially. involves a last lap overtake and is valentino's best ducati performance

^the last podium valentino and casey shared, in the race after casey announced his retirement. usually it's a bit easier to tell when a valentino feud is at its worst, and the two of them joked in the press conference about how they were thinking back during the race to their 2011 jerez clash. ducati were in such a miserable place in those two years that in truth, nobody could have done much with that bike - casey certainly could have done more, but by 2010 the bike so awful that valentino outscored casey that season even after fucking up his shoulder and breaking his leg. vale's sole dry podium in the ducati seasons came at an emotional home race in misano the year after sic's passing, though unfortunately it's not a particularly watchable race. there are some other rides in those two years that are strong in isolation, but valentino isn't the star of the show - and really, it'd be a waste of our precious time to talk any more about two years that were a waste of valentino's precious time

qatar 2013: the first race back with yamaha and the first race of a 'qatar trilogy' of sorts, i.e. 2013-15, where valentino just keeps executing extremely watchable races by qualifying poorly/dropping back at the start and then fighting his way through. by the time he catches up with the pack, race winner lorenzo is long gone - but valentino can still have his first fight with the next big thing in motogp, the rookie marc marquez. there's an optimism to this race, the hope of new beginnings in a series that perhaps needed some life breathed back into it... and so did valentino. all three men on the podium have good reason to be delighted, and show it. valentino truly had not known if he could be competitive again after the dark ducati days, and he looks happier here than he has in ages

*assen 2013: his first victory in the post-ducati days and a track at which he had always been strong. partly helped out by jorge's collarbone injury (though assen had always been a bit of a bogey track for jorge), valentino overtook stefan bradl, marc and dani for the win. it's not the most thrilling of races, but is still perfectly enjoyable - and you can tell by valentino's reaction how much it meant to him

qatar 2014: bar a few high points, valentino's 2013 season had been troubled and frustrating as he found himself unable to match the top three in the championship. he decides to make one more big move - this time not by switching teams, but instead by firing his long-time crew chief jb. the start of 2014 is all about seeing if he can become competitive once again... and if he cannot then he will retire. qatar is a promising start, coming back from a poor qualifying to engage in a tightly fought duel with marc that lasts until the penultimate lap

misano 2014: valentino clearly stepped up his game this season, making him decide to continue on racing in motogp in a year in which marc was dominating the competition. race wins, however, remained elusive - but there is nowhere valentino would have rather emerged victorious than his own backyard. the opening stages are a proper fun three-way tussle between valentino, marc and jorge. valentino gets to the front and marc pursues him, so doggedly determined to get the better of valentino that he ends up crashing. the rest of the race isn't all that exciting, but it's notable as the first race in which valentino directly outperformed both marc and jorge when they were fully fit. the ranch visit happens after this race

phillip island 2014: never the most gifted of qualifiers, valentino would continually struggle to get to grips with the new qualifying format introduced in 2013 - and his grid position of eighth was typical of the time. but you can't fault him for his ability to pick his way through the field as he does here, which culminates in his enjoyable duel with jorge for what was then p2. he got lucky with marc's crash out of a sizeable lead, but it was still a good ride to ensure he would be the one to take advantage

***qatar 2015: it takes one corner for the 2015 championship to be blown wide open, when two time defending champion marc marquez goes off and drops to the back of the field. for much of the race, it looks like jorge will be the primary benefactor, battling it out with two revitalised ducatis. valentino starts badly and drops to tenth, but he works his way through the field - and eventually it is he who fights the ducatis for the win. this is actually a really nice marc comeback ride too, even if he never comes into victory contention. it is also a statement victory from valentino. game on

^valentino started the season on a high, daring to hope that the elusive tenth title might finally be his. the optimism would last roughly until they got to europe and jorge hit his stride, after which it was a gruelling defensive campaign to try and cling onto his points lead

**argentina 2015: the thing is, right, qualifying poorly isn't great. starting poorly also isn't great. but if you want to be fighting for titles, you should maybe pick a struggle and stop doing both. valentino's championship bid that year has all these charming races where he's still at the fuck end of nowhere after the first lap before heroically picking his way through the field, which feels needlessly exhausting but there we are. it is, however, exciting to watch how he creeps closer and closer to marc - and he eventually catches up on the penultimate lap. the resulting duel is short but memorable

****assen 2015: a duel that will always be remembered for the controversy surrounding the final chicane, but the whole race is a fantastic watch. valentino needed a result after jorge had won four races on the trot and had led 103 consecutive laps - and he played the weekend perfectly to achieve it. his only pole of the season and, excitingly, actually a good start too... but marc quickly slots in to sit on his rear tyre and it's a fight that continues the entire race. did valentino know what marc had been intending to do at the final chicane, given marc had admitted to repeatedly executing the move during that weekend's practise sessions? or was it just quick thinking that allowed him to read marc's move and realise he only had one counter available? we'll never know for certain - though marc was suspicious of valentino's motives and eagerly made his thoughts on the matter known in the post-race press conference. the beginning of the end

**silverstone 2015: after brno, valentino had surrendered the championship lead for the first time that season on countback and it was obvious he was in serious trouble. silverstone had proven a fairly happy hunting ground for jorge over the years and it looked like he would continue doing his thing that weekend... but then the rain came to the rescue. valentino spends most of the race with fellow wet weather expert marc stalking his every move, until marc goes down and valentino is left managing the gap to a late-charging petrucci. one of the finest wet weather performances of his career - and in several ways jorge got lucky to limit the points damage

^valentino's shadow, until marc pushed it too far and crashed. was marc more determined to beat valentino here than he would have been anyone else? valentino sure seems to think so - he later references both this race and misano as ones where marc aroused his suspicions. who knows, he might be right, but there's still a sizeable difference between competitive fervour and conspiracy

****phillip island 2015: one of the classic multi-rider fights. what valentino lacked in outright pace, he made up for in wheel-to-wheel skill and fighting spirit... except in the end, he couldn't completely make up for the deficit. all year, valentino had been fighting against the odds to keep his championship dreams alive - but at last, they were truly slipping, slipping, slipping away

**sepang 2015: one last roll of the dice, classic rossi-style... but this time it all goes horribly wrong. when the duel between marc and valentino arrives, it has an air of inevitability about it - as, perhaps, does the final outcome. but the fight itself is captivating to watch, in a raw brutality that befits the tragedy we are watching unfold. the penalty that valentino receives after the race is what truly dooms any remaining title hopes

valencia 2015: another doomed title decider, though valentino's race itself cannot really be faulted. he picks his way through the field from the very back and makes it to fourth, but he could never have hoped to catch up to the top three. quite a boring race afterwards bar some late marc/dani scrapping

jerez 2016: it is admittedly hard to vouch for the quality of this race precisely because it is such an extremely non-valentino way to win. clear and complete domination of the race - in a way he had otherwise been incapable of doing post-2009. while the title fight ended up being a bit of a dud for various reasons, early 2016 held promise that this year valentino would be able to match his two enemies on raw pace

***catalunya 2016: after the dramatic closing stages of the 2015 season, everyone was of course waiting for the first proper on-track duel between valentino and marc. it took a while to get going at catalunya, with valentino getting a typically poor start and having to ruthlessly work his way through to even get to the marc fight. but it's worth it once he gets there - like all their on-track encounters, it's a fierce battle of wills nicely complemented by the contrast in styles, and you can tell how ferociously determined they are to get the better of each other. the race that prompts the slight rapprochement between the pair of them

silverstone 2016: maverick vinales ran off in the front to claim his first premier class win, though the fight behind him is well worth watching - and warranted a mention on the marc list too. the first part is good, but the final laps are what it's all about, as the multi-rider scrap distills into another vicious little encounter between valentino and marc. as ever, with these two it's personal, and they're hardly shy in their ferocity fighting each other. but valentino makes clear afterwards he has no complaints... even if marc always reserves a "special treatment" for him

cota 2017: a lovely whiff of controversy to one of the better races cota has produced. valentino is involved in a feisty clash with the rookie johann zarco, who was well on his way to acquiring a certain kind of reputation within the premier class. it's fair to say valentino was not a fan, and he's certainly not a fan of zarco's attempted overtake that valentino argued forced him off-track to avoid taking them both down. he's slapped with a three tenths penalty his team decided against informing him of - which he's still unaware of when closing up on dani with a few laps to go

^not quite the hand-holding of yesteryear, but it was something. the pair of them disagreed in the post-race presser about zarco's aggressive riding - and, perhaps, valentino's off-track excursion that supposedly granted him an unfair advantage reminded marc of a certain other previous incident. riding standards remained a major talking point for all of that season, most notably in assen and phillip island (though valentino himself ended up coming under some criticism, in particular by pedrosa after aragon). the two rivals agreed more often than not, even if valentino still had his reservations. after phillip island: "all riders are very aggressive, so you have to be more stupid than them"

**assen 2017: his last grand prix victory and it's as true to him as brno 1996. a rough, bruising tussle between riders who aren't afraid to exchange paint, with plenty of high quality racing on offer. some rain adds to the excitement - and valentino still faced a sturdy challenge on the very last lap. he remains the only rider in history to have recorded a grand prix win over twenty years after his first. he said afterwards that "sincerely I race with motorcycle for what you feel the five, six hours after the victory". in many ways, it feels like a scarcely believable amount of commitment for so fleeting a reward

****phillip island 2017: multi! rider! scrap! in! australia! valentino's strongest result after a broken leg in a motocross accident took him definitively out of the title hunt (the second serious motocross-related injury that year for him). anyhow, they're at it again and it's a brutal battle between several protagonists who are happy to get their elbows well, well out. valentino's leathers were marked by rather a lot of rubber by the end of the race - but the most important thing is that everyone had fun!

sachsenring 2018: valentino's 2018 performances were generally stronger than the results would suggest, with yamaha increasingly out at sea in a new era hurried along by the return of the michelin tyres. still, he put together a strong first half of the season and was marc's main challenger points-wise. even this late in his career, he demonstrated his willingness to continue to learn and improve by studying satellite yamaha rider jonas folger's performance fighting marc the year before at the circuit, joking after the race that nobody had ever told folger the yamaha wasn't supposed to be good around there. while in the end valentino couldn't really pose a significant challenge to marc, he gives it a good go and gets involved in a fun fight with jorge along the way

****assen 2018: one of the classic multi-rider dogfights, and valentino contributes very nicely to the drama of the race - not least as a result of his deep love for the final chicane. while the winner always had something extra in his back pocket, a rather unfortunate late coming together ends up (probably) depriving valentino of what would have been a deserved podium place

argentina 2019: marc disappears the moment the lights go out, but the battle behind him provides plenty of excitement. there's a bunch of riders fighting for the remaining podium places, elbows nicely out, but eventually valentino and dovi have it out in an entertaining contest that goes down right to the very last lap

^winning a last lap duel against andrea dovizioso... what, like it's hard? a year on from an eventful argentina grand prix, marc memorably likens his handshake with valentino to kissing a girl. the last podium the two of them share

andalusia 2020: some silly good defending against his teammate throughout the race that mainly had the effect of allowing fabio to escape. valentino's result was quite the heroic feat given the gruelling physical conditions: 36 degrees celsius with horrendous track temperatures, with only 13 of 21 riders making it to the end. the blistering heat also hardly helped with the tyre preservation that plagued this portion of valentino's career; managing these tyres was one development too far for his ever-evolving riding style to adjust to. two academy riders could have denied valentino's final career podium, but both their bikes had the decency to break down

^three yamaha's stood on the podium that day for the first time since 2014 phillip island, and presumably for the last time until around 2064. valentino celebrated enthusiastically to the empty jerez grandstands, 21 years after his infamous visit to the portaloo at the same circuit. valentino's decision to retire was complicated by the pandemic, his past ability to bounce back from rough patches and - most of all - his inexhaustible passion for racing, but eventually he called it a day after the 2021 season

[tact-and-impulse]

Shinkane Week 2024 Day 1

@shinkaneweek, thanks for giving the perfect prompts for this superhero/vigilante AU occupying my work-exhausted brain 😛

Day 1: Urban

From the other side of the door, Akane could sense his presence. She entered anyway, the cool air of her apartment washing over her face. She maintained the impeccable holo overlaying her crimson bodysuit, but dropped the half mask.

His pointed mask was also absent, the laceration on his cheek was encircled by a deepening bruise. The dark armor-like quality of his costume was at least intact, better than before. He gave a strange smile. “Lady Justice.”

“Please, don’t. Kougami-san, what happened?” She turned away, retrieving her medical kit. If she were a telekinetic, it’d be much easier to summon, especially with how often they met like this.

“A scuffle for information.” He winced when she pressed the antiseptic wipe to his skin.

“And did you find what you needed?” She immediately regretted the sharpness in her voice. It had been a lengthy day, with additional meetings and public events that Sybil’s favored leader of elite psionics could not avoid. And it was always complicated with Kougami; she knew her own mind would be an emotional storm to any other telepath.

“Akira’s gone missing.”

She froze. “Kei’s older brother?” The Russian born brothers had the same familial ability of psychic shields, but while Kei was one of her new Bureau colleagues, Akira walked the vigilante path, just like Kougami had decided six years ago.

He nodded, grimacing now. “No trace at all, not even a scrap of fabric I could use for detection.”

“Was he still following the new lead?” She asked carefully. Technically, she shouldn’t have been aware of his group’s extrajudicial pursuit of the Peacebreakers. However, they were past the point of secrets between them.

“Yeah, he was. The rest of us split to cover more ground, but I ran into two of the targets. They got away, but they mentioned someone called the General. Have you heard of them before?”

“Never. Then again, the last knowledge of the Peacebreakers on my end was from Tibet, and in a report. I’ve been solely occupied with domestic affairs for a while.”

A flicker of understanding crossed his expression, and then, his callused fingers caught her chin. “When was your last break?”

Akane swallowed hard, her memory failing at his touch. She was glad his psychometry didn’t extend to people, or his mind would be flooded with the reminiscence of a small humid room in Shambala.

The sounds occurred simultaneously. The trill of her wrist alert, and the vibration of his alarm. A nearby disturbance, so they’d be working together for the moment. Now, the storm cleared to excitement.

“It’ll have to wait. Let’s go.” She hastily said, stepping to her balcony. She noticed the lock was intact and frowned as she prepared the flight mode on her boots. The evening wind carried her words. “Isn’t this where you came from?”

“No.” He had the gall to smirk and tossed a shocking statement before he rappelled off the ledge. “I still have the spare key you gave me last time.”

***

They perched on the roof of the invaded high-rise building. From the street surveillance footage, the trio of disrupters were climbing the floors with clear intent. As Kougami secured his grappling hook, he casually inquired. “Fifteen minutes until the Dominators arrive?”

“Ten. We can use delivery drones now.”

“Now, I’m the one with outdated info.” He meant it as a joke, but she still felt the sore twinge of his departure. “In the meantime, I’ll go first.”

Akane opened the telepathic bond between them. They had done this so often, that sharing their thoughts wasn’t overwhelming at all. Be careful.

Same to you. With the hiss of the tensile wire unraveling, he leapt to break in.

She counted the seconds before taking a deep breath and slowly descended into the bright city. Flashing news banners, advertisements for mental care, the small red sirens drawing closer. The people, bustling and conducting their peaceful lives. And despite everything she’d experienced since she first joined the Bureau, her resolve to protect them had never faltered.

Lady Justice soared into a combat scene.

Smoke obscured the floor, one person knocked unconscious. Kougami was trading brutal, efficient blows with a muscular man; the other one, struggling to get up from a broken table, unsheathed a dagger. Akane started with a psychic tap, a self-defensive maneuver that was typically enough to bring a person to the ground. However, he seemed unaffected, mechanically standing and raising his arm. Left without recourse, she broke the wall and peered in his thoughts.

Pure static.

She reeled back and shot a message to Kougami. They’re brainwashed.

Her usual methods of telepathic communication and persuasion would not work. Unless she found the higher psionic in control, she was stuck until the Dominator arrived to measure Crime Coefficient. She pushed the limits of her telepathic range, but her strength was in intensity, not distance.

Explains their complete silence. He whirled, the dagger wielder sinking his blade into his comrade’s shoulder. He cracked their heads together, the sound nauseating, and Akane glimpsed blood pouring down their faces as they went down.

Abruptly, she received comms from Karanomori and Hinakawa. The drone was on its way, and Arata was the closest, but was she alright? She refrained from mentioning Kougami, though she could sense his amusement through the bond. He picked up the dagger with a gloved hand and paused.

Akane!

She startled, but he was already grabbing her waist and sprinting to their entry point. They plummeted, the urban lights blurring, before the explosion blew out the glass walls. Her boots activated, operating at full power to carry them through the air. Her arms tightened around him, her face flush against his mask.

When they landed in an empty alleyway, they disentangled and she put on a brave face. “That was close. Thank you.”

He cleared his throat, his gaze singularly on her eyes. “You don’t need to thank me. As many times as you need me, I’ll be there.”

Flustered, her gaze fell to the dagger, secured in his belt. “Does that belong to Akira?”

“It seems familiar, but I’ll examine it. Later.” He amended, with the sound of approaching sirens. The Bureau would arrive in minutes, and he retreated into the darkness, Lone Wolf once more.

“Yes.” She reluctantly shuffled backwards, her heart aching. “I’ll catch you next time.”

A short laugh escaped him, as his grappling hook clicked in an overhead spot, and his voice faded. “Looking forward to it.”

Akane straightened, walking to the illuminated street. They’d chosen different methods, but as long as they both desired to protect this city, they’d meet again.

[world-of-pandora]

Can you PLEASE show me how to make good gifs like you?

:(

Hi, I have an old tutorial on how I make gifs here: https://www.tumblr.com/world-of-pandora/625562649223184384/gif-tutorial?source=share

My other advice would be to try and find as high-quality footage as you can as that will really determine how good the final gif ends up looking as some quality is always lost while converting to that file type.

My other advice would be to enhance the color and lighting of the footage as best as you can. When making gifs, I spend the majority of my editing time just altering the footage using Selective Color, Hue/Saturation, Levels, Curves etc. until I'm satisfied with the result. I really want to make sure my gifs are as vivid as possible and really enhance the beauty of the film.

Here is an example of a gif straight from the film without any alterations e.g. no sharpening and no color corrections:

And here's that same gif with all my enhancements applied:

Sometimes I only enhance the colors that are present and other times I may alter them significantly. In this case, I really pushed the reds and golds to give the fish a warmer, more ethereal look at the expense of the film's original lighting:

Here's another example of a dark night scene that I had to seriously brighten so you can see the details better:

Just some sharpening and color correction can make all the difference in transforming a dull gif into an eye-catching one. Maybe I'll make a new tutorial specifically for how I color soon. For now, I hope some of this helps!

[literallysatanofficial]

I know this is probably a long shot, but I was looking on the wayback machine and (as I suspected) there are a bunch of now-deleted trailers for season 7 that don't exist anywhere online as far as I can tell (they do now!). "The Weight of the World" is the only one still on YouTube, but "The Gift of Giving", "Wings", "A Miracle Encounter", "Me", and "Leaves" -- while they are still linked on the wiki -- are completely dead, and not archived on the wayback machine aside from their thumbnails in this snapshot from 2012. I'd love to start an archive (I have one for WWDITS, but IASIP is significantly harder to manage due to its age) so if any of you guys have come across any archive.org compilations (the only one I know of is this one, but they're mainly DVD extras) or have any Google drives or anything, please let me know. It seems like someone's gone wild with copyright striking recently (it's Disney on my end, but not sure if that's Canada-specific) and like 90% of the extras have been completely obliterated.

UPDATE: Someone on reddit compiled all of the season 7 promos (lower quality than I'd like, but they're not too bad), and there are individual dailymotion links as well. "The Gift of Giving", "Wings", "A Miracle Encounter", and "Me". I believe "Leaves" is still missing, but it's hard to tell which is which.

More stuff I'm hoping to find mirrors for under the cut:

Archive of Paddy's Pub Blog; everything seems to be locked behind a broken age restriction button. I'm specifically interested in checking out the "Dennis' Erotic Memoirs" section (not the episode) or anything written by Dennis on the blog, but if anybody can figure out how to bypass the age restriction in earlier captures or has a mirror of the site before it was taken down that'd be even better.

Extras, promos, behind the scenes specials for all seasons. There seem to be quite a few for S1 out there still because it's mostly included on the DVD, but there are a couple that seemingly aired on TV that actually feature cut scenes. This one here has extra footage of Mac and Carmen, as well as Dennis in his day man costume without the codpiece. I have a feeling that there may be similar "outtakes" or alternate/extended scenes in other deleted videos.

Any additional scenes from the unaired pilot (I believe all we have is pulled from this behind the scenes footage, but worth a shot).

A high quality rip of the season 9 bloopers. I did manage to dig up an unwatermarked version from the wayback machine, but it's extremely low quality.

High quality version of the promotional music video "Going Back to Philly"; there's a relatively HQ version on YouTube that's been cut up, and a full LQ version, but it would be great to have a full HQ version. FOUND ONE!

Anyone willing to rip DVD/Bluray extras from their own copies. I can only find partial archives of S1-6's DVD extras, with some from later seasons being uploaded to YouTube at one point, but the majority of the links are dead now. I'm planning on buying a full set of DVDs/Blurays myself at some point, but they're either extremely expensive or extremely hard to find, so it'll probably take some time.

[moonbiscuitsims]

Noodle appreciation on Sims 4 Gorillaz Project

2D's room pics Russel's room pics Murdoc's room pics ("mature") More Gorillaz themed posts

From the wiki: ヌードル (Nuudoru), better known as Noodle, is the official guitarist and former occasional backing vocalist of Gorillaz.

Born: Osaka, Kansai, Japan on 31st October 1990.

Instruments: Guitar, keyboard, synthesizer.

Occupation(s): Songwriter, Guitarist, Vocalist, Ex-Super Soldier

Nationality: Japanese

Religion: Buddhism and Shinto

Created by: Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn

Inspired by D.A.R.E. I used the video for extra reference especially for the front side of the room which i couldn't see well in the reference pics.

Theres a cute little scene in the MTV Cribs Gorillaz short where noodle kicks Murdoc out of her room. The cute ceiling lanterns are missing in this pic because I forgot to start the tab camera from a zoomed out position and they fade when you zoom in my bad.

In the Phase 1 room, that little blue chair was actually Noodle's bed but after she has the white one, so I made it into a chair. If you understand it, please ignore the sign probably meaning something extremely random I can (slightly) read hiragana/katakana but not kanjis sorry I hope it doesn't mean poop or something bad it was just for aesthetic.

I made her room quite messy, because I have an obsession with messy rooms and Gorillaz aesthetics did tend to be quite cluttered and messy.

I like to imagine Cyborg Noodle stole Noodles soldier clothes, so that's why she is wearing them. She is still a badass who loves to train just in case.

The literal description of Kids with Guns. Obviously guns are bad, this is fiction, don't use guns.

I used tons of Cyberpunk 2077 cc for this room and other parts of the building. So that giant head is a Beta version of Shaun Ryder before he could drunk-British karaoke sing D.A.R.E. with Noodle in her secret room. No one is going to convince me that Gorillaz is not slightly cyberpunk, they're a virtual band with holograms, with cyborgs, weird talking robot heads, dystopian and apocalyptic themes and beaches made of plastic.

The bathroom and many parts of the lot were made up but there was no way I was gonna make a poor innocent little teen girl share the disgusting toilets and bathrooms with three dirty grown men ( ×m×) Hers is also slightly dirty but nowhere near as bad I'll post them in future posts.

I created these sims a long time ago, they were so much fun to make, I even made my own (terrible) cc to make certain clothing items more accurate. The lot they live on is Kong Studios, I kind of mixed all the Phases, but my favourite was Phase 2. In the future I hope to do more Phase 3, after that everything is a bit unknown to me as Gorillaz were kind of on hiatus for many years after Plastic Beach and I fell out of touch with them, only to realise quite recently they have tons of new music 🧡

For the inspiration I used I'll leave reference photos I found, from all the old online flash games there use to be, I loved them it's a shame that part of the internet is over x), as well as using their music videos and Rise of the Ogre comic. They're all super bad quality because 240p videos and footage of the 2000's.

Overall I had a really fun time making them and taking these pics, I know they're old but it gives me a lot of nostalgia and I love their music and the entire project. Also I use tons of cc so I don't know if I'll be sharing a CC list, I started making it only to see I was taking 3 hours for barely any of it, so I may (possibly) share it in the future with the lot and sims files, but for now I'm just showing the project. I might also make some cosy lets play videos with them just chilling for my YouTube.

Any support for my posts is greatly appreciated 🧡

[ghastlybin]

You do seventeen right? Can I request a Minghao x reader where they are both paranormal investigators exploring a very haunted building and they are trying to debunk the rumors but something happens that proves its real? Idk it’s up to you!! I love your writing also!!

Oohhh my first BG request lmao but yeah thank you anon! I love how you requested my svt bias too, I ALSO loved the request idea, so I hope I did it justice :,) also sorry it's a tiny bit late!!!

Pairing: Seventeen’s The8/ Minghao X (gender neutral) Reader.

Word count: 2,088

Genre/contents: Horror, Paranormal, Mystery(?), Paranormal investigators/streamers lol, kinda light-hearted, kinda not light-hearted idk, angsty?

TW: Murder depictions, dead body (not very descriptive but still), implications of cannibalism, dismemberment, basically multiple murders but it’s more of a mention. I don’t describe any of that, foul/mature language, disappearance implication(?), if I’m missing any- I am sorry please let me know!

Note: quick spoiler lol don’t read unless you with don’t care about spoilers or until you’re finished reading. Anyways; no one dies in this except the unnamed victims of a crime I made up, don’t let the ending fool you, I would never do that to Minghao, I love him :,((( It’s more up for interpretation unless you’d like a part 2 then I can do that for sure.

Btw, the people talking at the very end is also up for interpretation. Could be two other svt members or really anyone you imagine. Also, up to you do decide whether you and Hao are a cOuPle or just friends, I wasn’t too descriptive in the department on purpose lol

Also, this request/ask kinda reminded me of that one going seventeen video lmao Anon,,,, Did you use that as inspo?? (Just teasing btw don’t worry I love it) + (also couldn’t find a gif that matched the theme?? ANYWAYS ONWARD-)

“Testing, testing.”

“I hear you, do you hear me?”

“Yep. Is your body cam on?”

You waved a hand in front of the camera adjusted around your waist. Minghao gave you a thumbs up, viewing the footage from an app on his phone.

“Cool. These camera’s are pretty high in quality too. We’ll be able to catch any ghosts and how many fingers they have.” Minghao joked, skeptical about the building you two were investigating.

“Shut up,” You snickered, “Who’s narrating?”

Minghao looked at you, not letting a word slip out of his mouth. You took his silence as an answer anyway.

“Come on, I always do it! Besides, you’re better at it than me.” You rolled your eyes. Minghao smirked after you had said that.

“Finally you admit it,” He cleared his throat as you pressed the ‘record’ button for him. Minghao checked the footage on his phone, making sure it was actually recording before giving you a thumbs up off screen.

“Hello! We are back with another stream- and yes, we are risking possession! Hallelujah! The ghosts are about to meet the best person on this planet and his partner!” Minghao announced, both of you hearing his voice through the head-sets you’ve both set up moments ago.

You sighed, a hand on your forehead as you started to regret not narrating this time.

“And here we have Y/N, already regretting their life choices!” Minghao’s voice echoed in the main lobby. You looked at him through narrowed eyes. He gestured for you to take a turn.

“I’m not- Whatever. We are in that abandoned hotel you’ve collectively told us to visit last stream.” You spoke, not quite as loud as Minghao, but you both heard your voice just fine. “And yes, we are spending the night because we have nothing better to do in the dark hours of the night.”

“Sleep?” Minghao interjected. You slowly smiled, nodding as his body camera was still facing you.

“So, care to tell the viewers what the lore here is?” He started to walk forward, pivoting to give the viewers an idea of what the inside looked like despite the only light in the hotel being the flash from the cameras that were constantly on.

Minghao turned back to see you, a smirk on his face. “Or do you want me to ‘Minghao’ it?”

“What the hell? … Sure. ‘Minghao’ it.” You crossed your arms, accidentally covering your camera, which you immediately uncrossed your arms after realizing.

“This hotel is home to many ghosts! All of whom were murdered because someone had zero regard for human life!” Minghao tapped the bell on top of the receptionist desk.

“Hey! Quiet!” You looked around, wide eyed. Minghao chuckled, “what? Scared of ghosts?”

“No! What if someone hears us?”

“Like… Ghosts.”

You frowned, eyeing him. He smiled, ruffling your hair.

“Relax. We’re fine. We are only here to show the viewers that the rumors of the paranormal are bullshit and then we can go and get our beauty sleep.” Minghao switched from his reassuring tone to his previous loud, animated tone.

“Should we wait for the receptionist or go check into our room?” He spoke for the camera but was waiting for your response.

“Well the receptionist is kind of dead… So let’s go to the rooms.” You scrunched your nose as you had smelled something foul, as if something had been decaying for a while- A smell which previously wasn’t there before.

“Do you smell that?”

“What? Your face?” Minghao joked, laughing a second after. You ignored his joke, unintentionally, as you were more focused on where the smell came from.

“All I smell is dust and mold.”

“No, this smell isn’t either of those, I don’t think.” You pinched your nose, passing him and into the corridor on the left of the receptionist desk.

Minghao stepped in the spot you were previously standing in, taking a whiff of what you were supposedly smelling.

He shrugged it off, not smelling anything different. You looked back at him to make sure he was with you.

“For your information,” You traced your fingers on one of plaques on the wall that read the room number. “No one actually died in the hotel. Their bodies were just buried here.”

“Let me guess, the basement was where their bodies were?” Minghao tried one of the door knobs to the room across from the one you stood beside. It opened without any resistance.

“You didn’t read the facts I sent you?” You sighed. Minghao shrugged, “I did… Sort of.”

You scoffed, walking ahead.

“Hey, if it makes you feel better, I did listen to a podcast about it.”

“Podcast? Did they tell you the bodies were in the basement?” You questioned him, turning around to face him. He shrugged, “more of a speculation. Yes.”

You turned back around, nothing but a dark corridor in front of you.

“The bodies were found in the walls, inside various mattresses, and the free breakfast they offered here.” You opened one of the doors to a room further ahead. The room emitted a gust of cold air, giving you and Minghao chills.

“Found one of the deathbeds.”

You lightly nudged Minghao.

“Okay, for the first time, I will admit there was really no pun intended.”

You glanced at him, reaching for the doorknob to shut the door again. As soon as your hand made contact with the knob, you felt yourself being shoved inside the room, falling to your hands and knees as the door had slammed shut behind you.

You weren’t in pain luckily, but once you had your bearings, you felt agitation fueling within yourself.

“Minghao! Why the hell did you push me?!” You stood up, immediately pulling at the door.

“Woah! What do you mean? I thought you just fell!” Minghao called from the other side. You banged on the door, unable to turn the door knob.

“Let go of the door! This isn’t funny!”

“I’m not touching the door! Did you lock it?”

You felt around for the lock before scoffing as you thought about how that would even happen.

How would you even lock the door if you were falling, let alone slam it?

“Minghao, if you get me out of this room, I promise I won’t kill you when I get out.”

Minghao was silent for a moment. You checked your phone, pulling up the live footage from yours and Minghao’s body cameras.

“One, I don’t believe you.” Minghao spoke up, the door creaked as he leaned his ear against the door to hear you better.

“And two, you know I wouldn’t just leave you by yourself. You get lost easily.”

You rewinded the footage from Minghao’s camera. He had been watching you as you went to close the door.

And the worst part was: He was telling the truth.

“Shit.” You mumbled. Minghao stood on the other side, trying the door knob from his side- which didn’t budge.

“What?”

“You were being serious.”

“Yeah! Step back, I’ll try to kick in the door!”

You did as he said, stepping back at least where the bed was. The door shook and creaked as Minghao’s foot slammed against the door, but it ultimately did not budge against his force.

“Uh, is there any other possible exit?” Minghao asked, his fist banging against the door in defeat. You saw an air vent, but otherwise no other exit was found in the room. That familiar decaying smell from earlier found its way into the room again.

“An air vent- Or duct. Whatever.” You replied, shivering from the temperature in the room dropping again.

“Wanna see if that leads to another room?”

“Hell no! Is the door really not opening?”

“It’s really not opening.” Minghao paced the area near the door, not straying too far in case you were to speak again or somehow get the door open yourself.

“Fuck,” You cursed, covering your nose to attempt to block out the smell. “Is there anything at all in the area that could pry it open?”

“Nope. Just old furniture and dirty sheets and blankets.”

You looked at the air vent, contemplating it further. “Okay, fine. Let me go through the damn vent.”

Minghao detached his body camera, facing it towards himself, speaking in a whisper, “finally. I swear they never listen to me.”

“I can still hear you!” You spoke as he heard you through his headset and vice-versa. You were simultaneously prying the vent open, which was more successful than the main room door.

“Whatever! Are you in the vent?”

“Now I am! Try to get to the room next door! Meet me there!”

Minghao attached the camera back to the straps around his waist and jogged over to the next room, twisting the door knob, which opened with ease. He dragged in a small table from the corridor and propped open the door but did not see a vent anywhere in the room.

“Hey! There isn’t a vent in here!”

You took a moment to respond, coming to a corner, forcing you to turn right. When you did respond, Minghao had beat you to it.

“I think someone is coming! I’m going to hide!”

You stopped crawling, fixing your headset to your ear as it were slipping out of place.

“What do you mean?” You asked, continuing to crawl. “The vent is leading me somewhere else!”

Minghao didn’t respond, but you heard heavy footsteps.

Then a scream that traveled through the walls and through your headset simultaneously.

“Minghao?!”

No response.

“Minghao?!” You repeated once again, pausing your movements to check his body camera footage.

It was too dark to see as Minghao must’ve turned off the flash light emitting from the camera. Rewinding a little, you saw a single bright light and a figure standing a few feet in front of him, hearing the scream once again.

The camera footage went completely dark again but you heard heavy breathing and fast footsteps.

“Minghao, try to get outside! I will find my own way out!”

You continued to crawl forward, eventually finding an exit from the vent that lead you into another room where the main door to the room was wide open.

Getting out and stretching after being in a cramped space, you heard the loud footsteps again. You hid under the bed quickly as the smell had gotten much worse.

Turning on your side to see why it had gotten worse, you gasped loudly- unintentionally, as you saw a nearly decayed body of a human lying beside you.

Your eyes watered in fear, trying not to scream at the fact that there was an actual dead body under the bed. You thought back to all of the places you smelled the same decaying stench.

The receptionist desk, the room that separated you and Minghao, and here. The room you were currently in.

You finally had let out a scream when someone had wrapped their hands around your arm, dragging you out from under the bed.

“Y/N! Where are you?! I made it back to the car!” Minghao’s voice emitted through the head-set just before it had fell out of your ear.

Whatever had a hold on you, wasn’t letting you go, and you couldn’t tell who it was.

One thing’s for certain, it definitely wasn’t Minghao.

“I’m calling for help!” Minghao pulled out his phone after speaking through the headset one last time.

He dialed in the emergency number; the dial tone rang twice before being picked up.

“Hi! We need help, my-“

Minghao suddenly gasped, dropping his phone as the same figure he had ran from had grabbed his wrist harshly, dragging him back inside with superhuman speed before Minghao could process any identifying features or even react to the situation.

.

..

…

“Two self-proclaimed paranormal investigators still missing after ongoing search efforts come up with no evidence at the scene of the crime at the abandoned hotel. The last recorded livestream has been confiscated as evidence and pulled from any and every platform found containing it.

Anyone with any information regarding the disappearance of Xu Minghao and Y/N Y/LN is encouraged to come forward to the proper authorities in aiding the investigation. “

.

..

“Are you sure we should be here?”

“They were here at around this time of night. Maybe we will find something the detectives didn’t.”

“Or we will go missing too.”

“Yet you still came with me.”

“Let’s just hurry. This place is fucking creepy.”

[riri-postz]

Disturbing Media List

hii! i have been gathering a list on analog horror, args and just disturbing pieces of media in general for a while now and since i noe have a place to share it, i will be putting every single one on the list on here!! the only exceptions is if i haven't watched them!

if you are interested in any of these plz research triggers if neccessary this isn't a disturbing media list for no reason!

Analogue Horror

Analogue horror is a specific type of horror in an analogue setting, so tapes, found footage, radios, tv shows, etc.

Monument Mythos - Extremely good with a lot of hidden lore, but a very long series, Wendigoon made a good video on it here.

The Walten Files - Very good lore, based on the FNAF series, very high quality but some of the videos are quite long, also kind of an ARG if you like investigating things

Local 58 - One of the classic series that made analogue horror known 10/10 please watch this if you want to get into the genre

The Blue Channel - One of my favourites, probably the shortest series in the analogue horror part, not much lore (yet) but still an extremely good and original series

Mandela Catalog - I couldn't do this list and not put this series, its so well made and is extremely good at building tension and world building in general!

Andy Livengood - Not really a series, but still very good, also extremely short so if that sort of thing interests you, this is one of your best choices

ARG's

ARG, meaning alternate reality game, is a type of disturbing media that takes place through multiple places, so it could start on youtube, but then give a clue for a website, and then and Instagram, and it all slowly leads to the end! Very good for people that like investigating lore! This is probably the shortest catagory because I don't know that many ARGs

Poochee and Pansy - I'm including this in here just because it is the start of an ARG known as the Hunt for the Gangadiddle. The series on it's own is also very good, though it hasn't got much lore to it

The Hynagogic Archive - Personally one of my favourite disturbing pieces of media, constantly being updated, at least have a look at the website if you aren't interested in the lore

Weird Youtube Things

I didn't know how to explain this other than weird things on youtube, take that as you will, also I will only be adding my opinions on the ones I am really interested in/fixated on because there are SO MANY of these

Daisy Brown

hiimmarymary

Hi Walter, I got a new girlfriend!

Lasagna Cat

Too Many Cooks

Dining Room Or There Is Nothing

nana835763 - I love this person they have made SO MANY GOOD STAND ALONE VIDEOS I really recommend PokopokoShopping and PokopokoPikotan from them

Llamas with Hats

Possibly in Michigan

Smile Guide

alantutorials

Agamemnon Counterpart

Henry Eats

Shed 17

112Dirtbag

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared - Oh. My. God. PLEASE WATCH THIS SERIES IT'S SO GOOD I'VE BEEN FIXATED ON IT FOR 4 YEARS NOW I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Unedited Footage Of A Bear + This House Has People In It - These are grouped together because they are really similar and I really didn't want to talk about each of them but OH MY GOD these series are so good they would technically both count as ARG's but I put them in this section because they fit better

Thank you for reading all of this! I may update it if I find any more! If anyone wants a detailed summary and review of any of these please let me know and I will!

[ravennm84]

Damning Evidence

This story was inspired by the idea of a what would happen if a civilian tried to go after Ladybug or Chat Noir’s miraculous and it got caught on video. Origially, I was going to have Alya be the one recording, but I decided someone outside of the Akuma Class needed some love. Warm-Fuzzies and please enjoy!!

Aurore Borell considered herself a dedicated weather girl and journalist. She paid attention to leads, always checked her sources, listened to witnesses after akuma battles, and always minded her safety when there was an attack. The akuma of the day was a boy from her school, she didn’t know him personally but he was going by the name Stillshot. Aurore had heard on the news that he had the ability to freeze people in place if he took your picture. 

The battle had moved close to where she lived and she hadn’t felt safe in her home, seeing as the akuma was a street level type and she lived in a lower apartment with her parents. So, she had moved to the roof of her apartment building with her phone to record everything she could see from her vantage point. 

And boy, did she see a lot.

Ladybug and Chat Noir were barely keeping clear of the beams that were shooting from the camera in Stillshot’s hands. They were even more encumbered because they were carrying a civilian around with them. Aurore recognized her as Lila Rossi, another student from her school. She didn’t know her well, but was pretty sure that the girl was a total liar. She’d once heard her say that she used to be a junior weather girl in Italy, which was admittedly impressive. But when Aurore looked her up, she couldn’t find a single news or radio station that ever listed her as an employee, intern, or even a volunteer; so she was pretty sure that it was a total lie.

Looking down, her phone in hand, she could see Stillshot shouting at the two heroes for protecting the girl. To her surprise, Ladybug and Chat Noir didn’t look thrilled by the situation either, but were still doing their best to protect her. When Ladybug called for her Lucky Charm and got a can of hairspray, Aurore was excited to see how the heroes would use it to save the day. 

Lila was quickly tossed to the side, Chat Noir used his Cataclysm to destroy the top spray button, and then Ladybug chucked the can at the akuma. Hairspray practically exploded all over him, covering his lens with a thick coat of the sticky substance and making it impossible for the camera to focus enough to take a picture. Then the yo-yo shot at the camera, breaking the lens and freeing the little purple butterfly to be caught and purified. 

Seeing the magical ladybugs swarm around the city always made Aurore smile. So much so that she almost missed Ladybug and Chat Noir jumping over her roof and landing on the building next to hers. It was a story lower than her apartment building, which gave her a good vantage point to look over at them. It was a bit surprising to see that they had brought Lila with them… and they appeared anything but happy with the girl.

“Thank you so much for saving me! I was so scared, and I have no idea why he was coming after me-”

“Will you stop lying already? There’s no one here to show off for.” Ladybug snapped at the girl, surprising both Lila and Aurore. “We know that you told that poor boy that you would get him a personal interview with Gabriel Agreste to become one of his photographers, and he believed you because you're a Gabriel model. Then when he went to the mansion, at the time you told him to, he was arrested for trespassing!”

Chat Noir put a hand on his partner’s shoulder in an attempt to calm her down, but he didn’t look any happier. “This has got to stop, Lila. We’ve heard about all the things you’ve been doing; lying about having disabilities, sexually harassing Adrien Agreste, getting Marinette Dupain-Cheng expelled from school because she called you out on your lies! Do you not care that your lies are hurting people?”

The facade that Lila had been wearing at first faded into a cruel scowl that caused a cold shiver to crawl down Aurore’s back.

“Do I look like I care? I only tell people what they want to hear. If they’re stupid enough to believe me, then that’s their own fault.”

“And what about the danger you’ve put your family in?” Ladybug asked, seeming almost desperate. “What if Hawkmoth sees that fake interview on the Ladyblog of you claiming to be my best friend? He’ll target you or your family, just to get leverage to get out miraculous!”

Lila let out a manic laugh before stepping closer to Ladybug. “Like I would care about that? If anything, I would gladly help him if it meant taking you down!”

That’s when the girl lunged at the red and black spotted hero, her hands reaching for her ears as Ladybug was knocked back onto the roof in surprise. But before she could rip the jewels from her earlobes, Chat Noir had grabbed Lila by the back of her jacket and flung the girl away from his partner. The italian landed hard on her shoulder and Aurore could see scrapes on her cheek and knees from the impact as Chat helped Ladybug to her feet and checked her ears to make sure her miraculous were still in place.

Aurore made doubly sure that she was out of sight as she kept recording, barely believing that someone would dare try to take Ladybug’s earrings while knowing what would happen to Paris and its people without Ladybug. Lila’s smile reminded her of a feral animal as she stood up. “Now I’ll make both of you regret ever challenging me! Everyone saw you carrying me away, I’ll tell everyone that you beat me up.”

“And why would we even do that?” Chat snapped at her.

“I’ll think of something,” she continued to grin. “A few tears, tear my clothes a bit more, you’ve already given me a few marks to make it more believable. By the time I’m done with the two of you, you’ll be just as infamous as Hawkmoth.”

Chat and Ladybug were alerted by their miraculous that they were down to their last minute and had no choice but to flee, glaring at the girl before jumping away. Aurore continued to record as Lila grabbed the sleeve of her jacket and ripped it at the shoulder, then slapped herself across the face to leave nail marks on her right cheek, opposite of the scrape on the left . She paced around for a moment, muttering to herself before she began crying.

“I don’t know why they did it. *sob* They carried me to the roof, I thought it was to make sure I was alright, but then they started blaming me for the akuma, said that they should have just let it have me and then they wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore. *hicup-sob-hicup* I tried to get away but Ladybug slapped-” she stopped crying suddenly, giving her head a shake “No, I can do  better than that.” Then she started crying again “I tried to get away, but Chat Noir grabbed me and threw me down, it hurt so bad. Then Ladybug slapped me and said that if she ever saw me again, she’d do worse than just scare me. Chat Noir even said he would gladly use his Cataclysm on me. Please, I’m so scared, I don’t know what to do!” 

Then Lila’s face went back to that manic look that gave Aurore the creeps before skipping over to the fire escape and began climbing down. She stopped recording as soon as the girl was out of sight and then played the recording back. She’d never been so relieved to have a good quality phone, the camera had caught everything that happened and picked up every word that was spoken.

She was nearly in a state of panic, indignation, and urgency as she raced inside and down the stairs, calling her producer at KIDZ+ news to call an emergency meeting and get some police there as well. The producer sounded skeptical at first, but when Aurore went on to say that she had proof of someone that was not akumatized trying to steal Ladybug’s earrings, that got her moving.

~oOo~

The entire upper level staff of KIDZ+ and TVi News were present when Aurore arrived. Officer Roger Raincompix had come, along with Mayor Bourgeois. They had been in a meeting when Roger received the call and the mayor insisted on coming, saying that if someone was threatening the heroes of Paris, he wanted to be in the know. She began playing her recording from the beginning, attempting to prove how recent it had been made and that she’d of had no time to doctor the footage. When it came to the footage from the roof… the reaction to her recording had been immediate and about what she had expected; shock, horror, fear, and disgust at the girl’s actions.

“Are you sure this recording is accurate?” Officer Roger asked, looking like he was about to be sick.

“I’m sure,” she said before sliding it towards him. “Check it, put it through every test you can think of to see if it’s authentic. I recorded that video from the roof of my building, it was right by where the akuma battle ended. I’ll give you my address so you can make sure it’s right.”

“I can also say, from a preliminary look, that I didn’t see any cuts, skips, or changes in color or texture which would indicate that this recording has been altered.” Nadja Chamack stated as she restarted the video and looked it over with a more critical eye. “At this point, I’d say that this is authentic, but I agree that we’ll want to run some tests to be absolutely sure before putting in on the news.”

Just then, Roger’s phone rang. He mentioned that it was the station and that he had to answer it. Stepping away, Aurore watched his back go stiff and his brows crease into a deep scowl. “I understand. Are her parents present?” Another pause and he nodded. “Put her in a private interrogation room, and don’t let her talk to anyone else. Tell her that we cannot do anything or properly take her statement unless she has a guardian present. Do what you can to keep her at the station and her mother present. I’ll be in touch very soon.”

Hanging up his phone, he turned back to the group. “Apparently, a Mlle. Lila Rossi has just come to the police station claiming that she was assaulted by Ladybug and Chat Noir. Her injuries that Officer Laurent told me, match the ones that were shown in the video.” He then looked to the President of TVi News. “How long will it take your people to inspect the recording?”

“Since it hasn’t been uploaded to any social media sites and we have the date, location, the phone that recorded the video, and the person who recorded it; not long, maybe a few hours.” She glanced at the clock, reading 11:27am before looking back at Officer Roger. “It could be ready and verified in time for the 6 o’clock news tonight.”

“Get started,” Roger nodded, “I’ll be sending a few of my people from our tech division to observe and double check the work. Once it has been verified, I want copies made for evidence.”

“I will also need a copy,” Mayor Bourgeois spoke up, finally finding his voice after the shock of the video. “If I’m not mistaken Mme. Rossi is employed by the Italian Embassy, meaning this could result in an international incident. If this turns out to be true, I will not allow this horrid girl to remain in my city or to ever set foot on French soil again.”

The TVi President nodded, writing down notes while Officer Roger called his best tech people from the station to drop whatever they were doing and come to the TVi station immediately. Then he turned to Aurore, took her statement, her address, and had her send him a copy of the recording before calling another one of his officers to meet him at that address to compare the video to the scene. As well as sending officers to the Dupain-Cheng Bakery and the Agreste Mansion to get corroborating statements. 

~oOo~

Lila was beginning to get tired, she had been fake crying for hours and really wanted to go home and take a nap. It had become even more taxing when she was forced to call her mother to the station or else the police wouldn’t be able to take her statement. At least her mother had bought her story hook, line, and sinker and was already talking about filing charges against the city of Paris for allowing a couple of vigilante teenagers to run around and hurt her daughter.

It was just after 5pm when Officer Roger, Sabrina’s dad, entered the interrogation room along with Officer Laurent. The younger officer had taken her statement not long after her mother arrived at the station but had told them that, due to the serious accusations being made, it would be best to take this up the chain of command to make sure that nothing was overlooked. That had made Lila nervous at first, but she was confident that they would believe her. After all, she was the one that had been hurt and Ladybug and Chat Noir were nowhere in sight to contradict her story.

“Hello Mme. and Mlle. Rossi, I’m Officer Roger. I want you to tell me what happened.” He said as he placed his tablet and a notebook on the table and pulled out a pen.

“Do I have to do this again? Just thinking about what they did scares me.” Lila squeezed her eyes shut as she pinched her inner thigh to draw tears. Her mother wrapped an arm around her shoulder in comfort, eating it up.

“I understand that this must be difficult, but I need to hear your statement.”

Giving a shaky nod, Lila went into her story again, making sure that her voice trembled a bit and to keep her shoulders hunched. “I don’t know why they did it. *sob* They carried me to the roof, I thought it was to make sure I was alright, but then they started blaming me for the akuma, said that they should have just let it have me and then they wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore. *hicup-sob-hicup* I tried to get away, but Chat Noir grabbed me and threw me down, he even kicked me. It hurt so bad. Then Ladybug slapped me when I was trying to get up and then grabbed my face, it felt like she was going to crush my chin. She said that if she ever saw me again, she’d do worse than just scare me. Chat Noir even said he would gladly use his Cataclysm on me. Please, I’m so scared, I don’t know what to do!” 

Officer Roger nodded as he continued to write everything down. “And you’re willing to testify to this in a court of law?”

Mme. Greta Rossi was already nodding to the affirmative. “Yes, those incompitent vigilantes are going to pay for hurting my daughter. I want to file lawsuits against them for assault and intimidation.”

Roger nodded in understanding but then gave Mme. Rossi a curious look. “I understand that you are upset, but I don’t see how Ladybug and Chat Noir could be labeled as incompitent. They have always defeated the akumas sent by Hawkmoth.”

“That’s not true, my daughter’s school was closed for months, months, because those two couldn’t beat the principal of her school after he was akumatized and damaged the school.”

He blinked at her. “Mme. Rossi, I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but our daughters are enrolled in the same school and attend the same class. There have been days when an akuma will cause the school to open a bit late or close early, but it has never been closed for months. And as for M. Damocles being akumatized, that occurred after school hours, with the majority of the battle taking place off of school grounds, and he was returned to normal before the end of the night. It did not interrupt the school at all.”

Hearing this, Mme. Rossi’s mouth dropped open before turning to look at her daughter, who had gone suspiciously quiet and was ducking down a bit in her chair.

“And as for the lawsuits that you wish to file, you should be made aware that there lawsuits being filed against your daughter by three different parties for assault, slander, intimidation, sexual harassment, and a few other charges.”

“WHAT!?”

“Yes, Madame. Some of those charges are being filed by the city of Paris, itself.”

“How dare you!” Mme. Rossi yelled as she stood so quickly that she knocked her chair backwards onto the floor. “My daughter was assaulted by those two and the city has the nerve to blame Lila? I won’t stand for this!”

Officer Roger stayed calm as he turned on his tablet and played the video he’d queued up. As Mme. Rossi watched the video, her anger ebbed away into surprise at the things the two heroes  said and how Lila didn’t deny it; then shock when Lila attacked Ladybug for her earrings only to see that she was injured because Chat Noir had protected his partner; back to anger as she watched her daughter rip her clothes, scratch her own face, and then practice the lines she had told the police, almost word for word. Officer Laurent was forced to come around the table to steady Greta before righting her chair so she could sit down. 

“For the record, Mme. Rossi, multiple people have inspected this recording, including TVi News and members of the Paris Police Department, and have come to the conclusion that it is authentic. No tampering whatsoever. Your daughter assaulted Ladybug in an attempt to steal her miraculous, which is designated as a terrorist act as she and Chat Noir are the defenders of Paris, and currently our best defense against the known terrorist, Hawkmoth.”

Lila had been silent since giving her statement again, she hadn’t expected her mother talking about the school being closed or Officer Roger destroying that lie so easily, but that was something she might have been able to recover from if given the chance. But now with that recording, actual hard evidence that proved that she’d been lying, had attacked Ladybug, and had faked her injuries and lied to the police… there was hardly a single thin straw for her to grab at, but she had to try.

Lila turned up the tears as she desperately gripped her mother’s arm. “Mom, you don’t actually believe them, do you? You know I would never do the things they’re saying I did. That video has to be a fake! Please, you have to believe me!” 

To her dismay, her mother removed her grip on her arm, stood from her chair, and began pacing the room. “Who are the other parties that are filing lawsuits against her?”

“Mom!”

“Be quiet!” Mme. Rossi snapped at her daughter, glad that her mouth snapped shut before slumping lower in her seat. “Who else has she hurt?”

“M. Agreste is planning on filing lawsuits for sexual harassment and slander. The Dupain-Chengs are filing lawsuits for slander, intimidation, and harassment. I have looked into the school and found that Mlle. Dupain-Cheng was indeed expelled after your daughter accused her of assault and theft, but later recanted her story while claiming that she suffered from a disease that makes her lie uncontrollably. Mlle. Dupain-Cheng also claims that your daughter has been bullying her by spreading lies and rumors about her to isolate her from her friends.”

“She’s lying! Marinette’s the one that’s been bullying me!”

“I SAID BE QUIET!”

Lila jumped in her chair that time before cowering, she’d never seen her mother this angry before. It was actually kind of scary, but even worse… she was sure that her mother wasn’t going to support her or back up her lies. She was on her own.

~oOo~

When the news broke an hour later, Mme. Rossi had never been more humiliated in her life. The Embassy had called her as well, saying that she would be on leave pending an investigation, meaning that she would be lucky to still have her job by the end of the week. After leaving her daughter at the police station to face the charges against her, Greta had made a beeline for the school, demanding to know why they had never contacted her about the truancy, the disabilities, or her daughter’s supposed tumble down the stairs. The teacher and principal had given her less than satisfactory answers like “Lila said you were busy and we didn’t want to disturb you” and “she promised that she would get us those doctors notes”. She was on the phone with the Board of Governors before she was off the property. Since they had also seen the news, she could easily say that they were almost as upset as she was and the two incompitent educators would be lucky if they were still employed at the end of the week. 

The visit to the Dupain-Cheng Bakery was even more enlightening. From the stories Lila had told her during the past few months, she expected Marinette to be cold, callous, and rude. But that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Sabine Cheng had invited her up to the livingroom to speak and Marinette soon joined them. She was a shy but sweet girl that offered to get her a glass of water and whatever she would like from the bakery. To be honest, she had wanted to try the pastries from the shop months ago, but had made the mistake of believing her daughter when she said that they were terrible. So she asked for a berry scone and Marinette gave a kind smile before going down stairs and coming back up with the scone, a few different macaroons, a croissant, and a chocolate chip cookie. 

When Mme. Rossi looked at her in surprise, Marinette gave her a kind smile. “You look upset, I thought having a variety of sweets might help cheer you up.”

The sincerity on the girl's face nearly brought tears to her eyes. She couldn’t believe that her daughter had been tormenting this sweet girl just because she had called her out on her lies. She asked the girl honestly, what her daughter had done to her. And although hesitant, Marinette told her everything; from the threats and lies, to acting like she had been pushed down the stairs and planting her necklace in Marinette’s locker; if it could even be called that since it didn’t lock. 

After that, Marinette asked to be excused and Greta proceeded to speak with Sabine. She admitted that she’d had no knowledge as to what Lila had been up to, that the school had never contacted her about any of the incidents, she had already filed a complaint with the Board of Governors, and recommended that they do the same. Despite Lila’s terrible treatment of Marinette, Sabine accepted the advice with gratitude but informed her that they would still be filing the lawsuits against Lila. Greta stated that she hadn’t come to change their minds, but to hear Marinette’s side of the story.

Just before she left, Marinette hurried down the stairs with a small white silk square with royal purple flowered embroidery. In one corner, the initials G.R. were stitched in elegant script and looked to be hand sewn. “It’s a handkerchief, my way of saying ‘thank you’ for hearing me out. Other than my parents and the police officers that came by this morning, you were the first person to really listen to what I had to say about Lila. Thank you.”

Not bothering to hold back tears this time, Greta accepted the gift and asked the girl for a hug, which she easily gave. Then turning to Sabine, she told her. “You are wonderful parents, I am so sorry that my daughter has put you through so much. I just hope after this, she’ll learn that actions have consequences.”

After that, Greta jumped in a cab and made her way over to the Agreste Mansion. This was a completely different experience compared to the Dupain-Chengs. She never actually spoke to Gabriel Agreste, only Adrien and Gabriel’s assistant Nathalie. Adrien explained that he discovered that Lila was lying on the first day when she claimed to be best friends with Ladybug and the descendant of the wielder of Fox Miraculous. That was when Ladybug had shown up and chastised her for lying about her. Adrien agreed due to the danger of tempting Hawkmoth. 

He went on to say how Lila claimed that she was traveling the world with her mother and was friends with all sorts of celebrities. If Mme. Rossi wanted a more complete list of her lies, to check out the Ladyblog, as she had done several interviews. Adrien also went on to talk about how during their first photoshoot together, Lila wouldn’t keep her hands off of him and it made him uncomfortable. Lila had told him that unless he wanted Marinette to suffer even more, he’d stop complaining.

When Greta mentioned that she was told that the photoshoot was a relationship announcement between the two teens, and that she’d had no idea that she was a Gabriel model, Nathalie pulled up Lila’s contract on her tablet. The one that Greta had supposedly signed to grant her underaged daughter permission to work as a model. Mme. Rossi told the assistant at a glance that it wasn’t her signature and Lila had never shown her any such paperwork. To which Nathalie informed her that Gabriel would also be adding forgery and fraud to the list of charges being filed against her daughter, Greta simply nodded in acceptance. After all, forgery and fraud weren’t nearly as bad as assault, sexual harassment, or terrorism. 

~oOo~

When her daughter was brought to trial two weeks later, Greta Rossi sat dutifully behind her daughter but refused to testify on her behalf, not that it would have helped her. Between all the charges that were filed against her by the city of Paris, the Agreste family, the Dupain-Cheng family, and the investigation into the school and Lila’s actions by the Board of Governors; her daughter had no leg to stand on. She also made the mistake of lying to the judge on the first day and committing perjury, which only added to the charges.

The trial lasted for three days due to all the evidence and testimonies brought against her and the fact that Lila was the daughter of a diplomat. However, the evidence was overwhelming and the Italian government had already revoked any immunity that Lila might have had. The jury found her guilty and the judge declared that the sentencing would lie in the domain of the Italian government. Although it was decided that Lila would not be permitted to return to France.

Mme. Rossi made it clear to the court that she was already preparing to send her daughter to a juvenile corrections center in Italy, where she would remain until her 18th birthday and the courts would decide further sentencing. 

Lila had screamed at her mother, accusing her of betraying her only daughter and that she was not her mother anymore. She had also hissed and attempted to attack Marinette for “ruining her life because she couldn’t keep her nose out of her business” and “why couldn’t you have just killed yourself”. Greta did her best to ignore the cruel words, but found herself pulling out the handkerchief that Marinette had given her. It was a small comfort, but it was more than what she deserved after Lila had hurt so many people.

Taglist:

@7-sage-7  @fantasiame  @seraphichana

@t1dwarrior-of-earth  @ghostmaster83  @izang

@ulmban  @plushbookworm  @corabeth11

@ramos123  @darkened-flame  @caffeinetheory

@iamablinkmarvelarmy  @abrx2002

@delightfulcookiesrecipespizza 

[wtfevenismypage]

Safe and Sound

Pairing: Spencer reid x reader

Summary: Reader goes into a coma after being tortured on a case and Reid spends all of his time with her.

Warnings: Abuse/torture, coma, probably a swear word or two

Category: Angst/fluff

A/n:I wrote this really late last night while half asleep, so it isn’t the best quality but oh well, I hope you enjoy!

Pain was the only feeling you had. It wasn't just a feeling, it was also your current emotion. You were ashamed in yourself for being so stupid.

You were moving in on the unsub, thinking it was only one person, you should have been able to take him out, but it was two grown men. Two grown men that took you out instantly.

And now you’re tied up to a chair, a blindfold tight over your eyes.

“Your friends are watching. If you try to send messages you’re dead.”

You smile sadly and look up, revealing your battered face to the men who beat you.

“I’m alright guys. Just look for the victims. I’ll be fine-”

A fist to your face cuts you off, and you let out a yelp as they yank your hair backwards.

“You all have four hours to find her. Every ten minutes we’ll carve two letters into her. If you can’t find her in time, she’s dead.”

A blade is pressed against your neck and you whimper.

The blindfold is torn off of your face and you look around with bleary eyes, observing all you can about the area around you.

An abandoned production warehouse. There’s colorful powder streaked across the walls and floor, so beautiful, yet you knew it would only fuel your nightmares for the next few months.

“You better hurry.”

The tall man behind me presses the blade into my neck, marking a shallow sting of blood on your throat.

“P-please... Please stop.”

-

-

-

-

The team could only watch in horror as you get beaten, Penelope trying desperately to track the live footage.

A firm hand is resting on Spencer’s shoulder, trying to calm him down as he glares at the screen, tears dripping down his neck.

Thirty minutes pass with no succession of finding Y/n. six letters are carved into you.

D-E-A-T-H-I.

One of the men, the taller one, walks in front of you and pinches your cheeks together.

“We’re going out, but we’re watching you. If you try and send any messages to them, We have deadly gas in the vents waiting to be released. Behave.”

They walk out, but not before punching you in the stomach, the rough leather of their gloves rubbing against your carved skin.

“Please... Guys they’re going to kill again... I... I don’t think I’m gonna make it. If... If anyone is watching this, please, Tell the rest of the team I love you all. Penelope, please keep being yourself, never lose the light that you have, it’s a beacon for others.”

Penelope’s eyes overflowed with tears as the team watches you bleed out more and more with every breath.

“Rossi, you gotta get out more man, get yourself a woman to love. There’s someone out there for you, you’ll find her soon.”

Rossi turns his head, not wanting to cry at your words.

“Emily, You are the strongest woman I know, please don’t lose your persistence. JJ, Tell Henrey I said Hi okay? You’re so brave, don’t let anyone push you around. Morgan, You keep fighting for what’s right and don’t you dare give up, the world needs you bud.”

“Hotch, it’s alright to take breaks, this team is strong, they’ll survive if you take a cheat day. You have to give yourself a chance to breath okay?”

Even Hotch himself had a tear dripping down his cheeks as you let out broken sobs, almost screaming as the pain in your stomach starts to make you dizzy.

“Spencer... Oh god Spencer... I’m so sorry... I should have waited for you to come up... I’m so sorry...”

““But if I’m... If I’m gonna die then I have to tell you... I have to tell you that I love you. I’m in love with you...”

You look around, looking at the corner where a pile of spilt boxes on the floor, Makeup palettes shattered across with broken eyeshadow on the floor.

“It was a few months ago in December, it was a cold night.” You desperately send them hints. “You had given me an eyeshadow palette. I was upset that day, and slowly, I forgot about it. But I came across it recently. I’m so sorry that I never told you. I love you Spencer... I love you so much.”

-

-

-

-

-

The team watches Spencer, waiting nervously as his eyebrows are furrowed together.

“I never bought her an eyeshadow palette...”

Everyone’s eyes widen.

“Garcia look for abandoned eyeshadow palette factories within a fifty mile radius.”

Hotch demands as Morgan sits Spencer down.

“Take a breath, we’ll save her.”

“Morgan, I love her too, if she dies, it’s my fault, I didn’t make it to her in time...”

“Hey kid, don’t do that to yourself, she’ll make it.”

Spencer continues to think about all the times you two had together. You were the only person who listened to his rambling, you actually listened and you liked it. You and him told each other everything, your deepest darkest secrets.

He couldn’t survive without you, there was no way. You helped him when he had nightmares, you made him coffee, you truly held his heart in your hands.

“There’s a match! 68738 Raney Street! Go get my baby!”

Reid is off in a bolt with Emily and Hotch following right behind him.

-

-

-

-

-

The men return to the ware house, flipping knives in their hands.

“Looks like it’s time for some letters.”

“Can’t we just finish the message? Please baby?”

The tall man sighs before crouching in front of you, pulling your shirt up and place the knife right under your boob before pressing it in, making you scream out.

“Please! Please stop!”

Your breathing is labored, the blood draining from your body quickly as he continues to slice into you like a stick of butter.

The last thing you hear before passing out  is the sound of bells ringing in your ears.

“Please...”

-

-

-

-

-

You wake up with a pounding headache, you can’t open your eyes or move any limbs, but you can hear voices talking.

“The nurse said she had a few complications before they could get her to surgery, her heart stopped twice, but they managed to stabilize her.”

It was Penelope, you could tell by the sigh that followed she was talking with Morgan.

“What did they... What did they cut into her?”

His voice was shaky, it made your eyes tear up even when closed, and you could feel the itch slip out of your eye as Penelope speaks.

“They said death is the beginning.”

“And he’s been there since she got out of surgery?”

“He refuses to leave. The nurses told him he had to leave but he wouldn’t budge. It’s been three days. I don’t think he’s eaten...”

Another sigh from Morgan.

Your body is numb, gentle pins and needles spread all throughout your senses. More tears slip through the tiny slits of your closed eyes, dripping down to your ears.

“She’s crying... Probably a nightmare...”

Silence. You can feel yourself drifting back to sleep slowly, the gentle beep of your heart rate putting you to ease as your breathing slows down.

“I can’t believe she went through that torture for four days...”

Had it really been four days? It felt like a life time had passed from being taken from your team.

As you drift into a deep sleep, you can only relive the horrors as you remain unable to wake up.

The next time you awaken, you still can’t move or even blink, your throat dryer than before, pools of sweat at your thighs. You’re able to feel a hand clutching yours though, it’s slender and bony, long fingers squeezing yours tightly.

“You might be able to hear me, and if you can, we uh... We saved you Y/n. You’re safe now.”

Spencer.

You wanted to smile and throw your arms around his neck, but your limbs feel like lead, the heaviest lead in the world and you just can’t lift them up.

“I love you too Y/n. I love you so much. But it’s been eight days since you got to the hospital... Please wake up so I can tell you how much I love you.”

A pair of lips presses against your forehead. It tickles, warm breath from his nose gliding over your skin as he finally pulls away.

“Wake up soon Y/n...”

You slip in and out of consciousness like that for the next few weeks, listening to Spencer’s stories of the team’s current case, and relaxing to classical music as he reads books aloud to you.

They were books you loved too, fictional books about space pirates and cheesy rom-coms. You were so grateful  too him, hoping you could move sometime soon so you can kiss him.

One day the nurse came in to talk with Spencer.

“Her state isn’t improving, she hit her head pretty hard when you found her,  we don’t know how long it’ll be until she wakes up.”

You wanted to fight for him. You wanted to open your eyes and look at his beautiful face, you wanted to be able to hold him in your arms. So when his hand returns to your’s, you try your hardest to squeeze his hand, to let him know you’ll survive.

It takes all of your energy, but briefly, very briefly, your hand clenches softly, and you can feel his hand tense up.

“She squeezed my hand!”

With those words you swiftly passed out.

-

-

-

-

-

Spencer squeezed your hands days after that, it had been almost three months now, and a few days since you held his hand.

Your disheveled state was slowly improving, your sunken cheeks and deep eyebags now gone, but you still weren't waking up. 

“So I brought a children’s book today, I thought you would like it.”

He begin’s reading to you, squeezing your hand every few seconds to hopefully gain some sort of reaction from you.

But once again, nothing.

“Please wake up soon princess...”

-

-

-

-

-

You strain your muscles harder than you ever had to before, trying so hard to tap your fingers on his hand in the tune of the distant piano playing in the background.

One finger twitches on his skin, bouncing up and down to the beat of the piano, the rest of your fingers following suit.

A gasp escapes his lips.

“Princess? Are you awake?”

How the hell do you think I’m gonna answer that Spencer you dumb-

“Oh wow princess, You’re awake! Um, Uh, Okay, I need to go get a doctor, keep your fingers tapping okay? Doctor!”

You keep tapping your sore fingers, listening to Spencer and the doctor panicking about what to do.

But then, You’re eyes slowly flutter open, the blinding light impaling your irises as the sound of Spencer’s crying fills your ears.

 “Good morning Agent Y/l/n, you’ve been sleeping for a while now, I’m gonna help you sit up okay?”

You do your best to nod as the female doctor moves the hospital bed upwards, allowing you to lock eyes with Spencer.

“Sp... Spence...”

Your voice comes out broken and shattered, only a semblance of a croak, but he leans in and wraps his arms around you, making you feel safe and secure.

“Hey princess, I missed you so much.”

He presses a kiss to your head again, letting his tears fall onto your hands, which he’s held against his cheeks.

“I... I love...”

“Shhhh, I know princess, I know, just relax now alright? You’re safe and sound.”

“I love you...”

“I love you too.”

[artxyra]

The Secret Life of MDC | Part 6

Part 6: Just let them fall

Part 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

Note: If you had read the original version on my website, I totally did not rewrite this entire part just to avoid a fight scene. 

The mission was simple: save the two idiot exchange students that don’t have any common sense. It was a frustrating task to even track them down. Base on the footage from security cameras and likely villains who are crazy enough to start drama, it is very likely that the dumb and dumber are safe but being hold over a pot of acid, fire, or water will killer animals. Who knows?

“You know, they just have given us an excuse to bring the Gotham miraculous crew back into action,” Andrena says as her bee-like wings flutter to life. Her eyes narrowly focus on anything strange.

To Gotham, Andrena is equivalent to Paris’ Melitta Bee (Chloe’s new alias once she was inducted back onto the team). Every member of Paris’ MT has a Gotham counterpart. For Ladybug it was Ladybird, for Chat Noir it was Lykoi. Then for the two missing members Viperion and Ryoku, there was Python and Naga. The only difference two their styles are more realistic and less magical.

“There is no time for play, Bee.” Ladybird walks out from the shadows, the current boy wonder walking behind her. She crosses her arms and lets out a heavy sigh. “As long as we are active in the fight any damage the two may endure could be undone. You know how I hate to bring out the team.” Everyone could see the tiredness behind the red and black mask that lies in her bluebell eyes.

“Tt. They deserve whatever comes their way.” Robin scoffs. From the corner of his eyes, he could see his siblings joining them on the roof. “What did you find?” This question wasn’t pointed to anyone directly, but they all knew there was one person with the answers.

“Red Robin—” Lykoi lowkey hums ‘Yum’ much to everyone dismay “—has appointed Oracle as our eyes, and together that have determined that the two missing students are located in one of five potential areas.”

“That does not help our case, Wing.” Nightwing would never admit it but a glaring Ladybird is a dangerous Ladybird.

Silence followed as everyone thinks of something.

 “Do we have to save them? They just made this worse on everybody.” It was Lykoi’s voice that surprisingly states this. Everyone turns to the cat theme hero with wide eyes. “What?”

“Normally under typical Paris standards, I would say no, but do to the fact that we are in Gotham and my job is on the line, I am legally obligated to say yes.” Ladybird pulls out her communicator and turns it on. “Everyone’s logged on.” A series of nods, groans, and yeses. “Good RR, what’s the plan?”

“Yes, but you’re not going to like it,” Red Robin could hear the impending groaning coming his way and he is not wide awake enough for this.

Which lead the Miraculous Team and the Bats to be split across Gotham searching for the two exchange students.

Ladybird and Robin’s location was empty. Nothing unusual about the location it was just an unused warehouse.

“I hate them.”

“Them being everyone or the two the idiots.”

“What do you think?”

Robin shakes his head and lets out a hefty sigh.

Lykoi and Nightwing’s location proved to be difficult to find. At first, that thought this was the place, but both heroes vigilantes were proven wrong.

“We both agree not to tell Ladybird.”

“Agree, she would kill us.”

“I heard that.” It wasn’t Ladybird’s voice that came through the comms. It was Oracle’s. “Don’t worry I won’t tell Birdie.”

Lykoi and Nightwing share a glance. It was better to be blackmailed by Oracle than be grilled by Ladybird—well that what they think anyway.

For Andrena and Red Robin, it was more of a battle of wits and smarts between the two. Actually, more on Red Robin than with Andrena (she didn’t want to be a partner with Red Hood).

“You better hope that one of the others found this fucking warehouse or I will kill you myself. These boots were expensive.” Andrena shrieks pointing to the mud that now lays pack on her boots.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll make it up to you.” 

Andrena rolls her eyes and opens her communicator, Red Robin does the same. However, the outcome was different for the two. On Red Robin’s feed, it was static, he quickly goes into work to scramble the information given. Andrena sees a message from Red Hood.  It reads, “Found it, suckers!”

“Hood found the warehouse.” Andrena places her communicator back on her person and looks to Red Robin. She could see the invisible sweat and sleep on his face through the cowl. “Let’s go.”

RR lets out a frustrating sigh, but as he types a last-minute code into his device the static slowly turns into quality footage. Not high quality but enough pinpoint what is happening. The room is dark but there is an ominous green glow at the lower half of the screen.

“Shit,” RR murmurs through it was loud enough to catch Andrena’s attention as an electric blue glow begins to grow behind her.

“What?” It was breathless yet concerning. Behind her, the portal fully develops causing her to let out a low growl and pushing RR in the direction of their “ride”. “Just explain it to the others.”

The portal closes and the first person they are meet by is a somewhat disappointing Ladybird.

“Hey Buggy,” Andrena sheepishly smiles, better throw RR under the bus, “RR found something interesting. Check it out.”

Ladybird makes her way over to the bee and the third Robin, she eyes RR practically asking him the question, “what he found”. Everyone waits with bated breaths as he shows her the footage. This time unlike the awkward murky background, it shows Lila and Alya tied together on a mini platform that is slowly lowering to the ominous glow below them.

“Is it sad that I want to see them fall.” The ladybug theme hero sighs into her glove-cover hands. “Alright, we need a game plan. Hood, what did you find?”

“There is a tunnel beneath the building. There’s no exterior access.”

“Oracle is sending us a blueprint.” Red Robin adds to which Nightwing nods and checks in his own portable monitor. Robin tsks and crouches down on the ground.

The planning process to a good minute to formulate.

“Is everyone in position?” The question ran through everyone’s coms as their trained bodies wait patiently for the cue. The Questioner (most likely Ladybird or Nightwing) took their silence as an answer. “Let’s go.”

The vigilantes are immediately greeted by darkness.

“Argh, my hair!” All movement ceased to exist. The Miraculous Team automatically knew that screech. It was Lila’s. “Please, I promise Bruce Wayne will make your life worthwhile. I’m very good friends with him.” Everyone, aside from Robin, felt a shiver go down their spines. Robin had gagged at the thought of Lila, his girlfriend’s tormentor, being friends with his father.

“Are you sure we can’t kill her?” Red Hood asks, well more like stated but everyone knows what he meant. He didn’t receive an answer.

“Better yet, who’s the person that decided to capture the two. There are only two heat signatures in the building.” Tim fiercely types against his device.

Nightwing kicks down the door. The large thud grabs the two teens' attention.

“We’re saved.” Lila cries out in delight. Her face literally brightens much to everyone (aside from Alya’s) dismay.

“Yes, I can finally get that interview just like you said, gurl.” Alya squeals her body wiggling on the platform.

Robin staggers in his footsteps. Interview? Like you said? Something isn’t adding up.

“Are you girls okay?” Nightwing typically heroic voice shines through as Red Robin rushes to what he believes to be the controls for the platform.

“No! We’re tied together, slowly moving to our deaths.” Alya shouts, “Ladybug?”

“Uh... no, I’m Ladybird. Now hold still.” Balancing herself on the platform in front of the two, she pulls out a knife and quickly goes cuts to the first layers of rope. “We’re the villain?”

“He was getting something to surprise us.” Lila’s voice squeaks a little. Everyone pulls back to face Lila, not including Alya.

“What do you mean?” Robin fakes a cough and glares at the Italian girl.

“No, no,” Lila begins to sweat. Her mind running multiple scenarios to get out of this. “We have no idea where he went. It was pitch black for us.” Tears forms in her eyes. Alya tries to comfort her bestie but couldn’t due to their bindings.

“Red Hood, stay on high alert, Lykoi, Andrena, follow his lead.” Ladybird cuts through the final rope. Alya shuffles her feet to get away…

“Ah!” The reporter’s foot slips.

“Merde,” Ladybird deadpans and lets herself fall.

Her right arm wrap around Alya’s waist as her left grabs for the yo-yo. It was a split second; her feet did touch the unknown substance in the large pool. She was expecting a burning sensation, but nothing happens.

“What the hell, RR, get off the control and test out the substance.” Ladybird safely places Alya down on the concrete flooring. Nightwing and Robin run over to the two for different reasons. Robin pulls Ladybird into his arms and checks for any injury while Nightwing does the same for Alya. The ombre haired girl is visibly shaking.

Lila remains on the platform above the pool screeching her head off. Andrena could already sense a headache forming and flies up to the platform. “Venom!”

Lila freezes, her screaming ceases to exist.

Rather than pushing Lila off the platform (the temptation was very luring), Andrena wraps an arm around the liar and flies to the ground floor. Suppressing a shiver, she pushes the girl out of her arms and into Lykoi’s much to his dismay.

“Seriously?” Lykoi’s glare said it all.

“I have informed Oracle that we found the missing students. She informed me that the GPD eta is ten minutes.”

“Good, that will give us time to search the premises for anything odd.” Nightwing states.

“Way ahead of you,” Red Hood shouts from afar. Eyes rolls but they all shrug in the end.

“What do you mean there weren’t any prints or such leading to the student’s kidnapper?” Commissioner Gordon asks, well he yelled but his face isn’t red yet, as the faces the Bats (aside from the large bat himself) and the Miraculous Team.

“What he meant to say, was that nothing in this warehouse suggested that there was third person let alone a typical Gotham’s villain.”

“So, you're saying this was an act?”

“No, I don’t think all of it was an act?”

“Hmm… This isn’t going to go well with explaining this to GA’s headmistress.”

Ladybird might as well say goodbye to her life and curl next to Robin in her final moments. If this was just a fake, Lila and anyone who was involved with this plan of hers are in for a treat and she’ll have front row access to it.

“Just make sure that girls are returned to GA safely, Gordon,” Nightwing instructs, they knew what he was going for. It was to them out of her and on patrol—well some of them at the very least.

~*~

Marinette curls into Damian’s chest, looking at the screen in front of them. After a night like that she didn’t want to think about the consequences that the liar had unleashed.

“You okay?” Damian presses his lips against her forehead, their hands intertwine fighting for dominance.

Marinette doesn’t say anything. How could she? There was so much floating around her mind that she couldn’t place what she was feeling at the moment.

They stay in silence until a loud thud disrupts the environment.

“Bad news,” Dick and the rest of the family file in. “Rossi confessed to the kidnapping being a ploy.”

“Goddammit, there went my morning and quite possibly my entire week.” Marinette groans collapsing next to Damian and covering her face with her hand.

“Well it’s not liked your exchange program can get any worse. You have like three weeks left of it anyway.” Jason shrugs trying to make the mood lighter… it didn’t help.

“Not now, Jaybird,” Marinette growls, causing the hairs on the back of everyone’s neck to raise high. It was rare to see Marinette angry and Lila has done the impossible. Kwami may help in the morning, especially when Marinette doesn’t get her coffee.

~*~

Mari Needs Coffee @MarinetteMemes Is it too late to push someone off the roof of WE?  🤔 #shemesswiththewrongsgirl #ineedcoffee

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[murusagi]

[Ambush Meal] A Collaboration with Lord Toma!? Love and Madness of Delicious Meal Ft. Cage Translation

This is a part of Otomate’s April Fool’s Special Event in which the cast of several of the company’s franchises turn into social media personalities.

Orlok: ...Bonjourno. [Pio House] Episode 1926. Today, we're going to film your favorite series, "Oruru's Ambush☆Delicious Meal Next Door".

In this series, I'm going to make a surprise visit to someone's home and enjoy a meal there.

Nicola: Orlok, can you hear me?

Orlok: Yes. The earphones are working perfectly.

Nicola: Great. I also can see you clearly through this camera.

Gilbert: We better explain the rules to the viewers.

[Rule No. 1: Oruru must obey any instructions given to him through the earphones.]

[Rule No. 2: Oruru must eat the given food without being picky.]

[The ones giving instructions in this episode.]

Orlok: I'll do my best.

Direttore: Nice answer. Now then, without further ado, let us ambush our target this time around! Please press the interphone in front of you.

Orlok: ...Clicks.

Ding Dong

Toma: Who is it--oh, if it isn't Orlok from [Pio House]! Did you come here by yourself? What a good boy.

Orlok: Y-Yes…

Dante: ...He's stroking his head.

Nicola: That's Orlok for you. He's quick at gaining someone's favor.

Orlok: Umm… I'm happy to be able to meet Toma from "Love and Madness of Animal Channel".

Toma: Me too. So, what brings you here? Do you want to hang out with me or what?

Orlok: No. Actually…

Toma: I see, so you want to have dinner here. Hmmm… let's see.

Orlok: Huh… A-Am I not allowed to?

Direttore: ...We already made an appointment, right?

Gilbert: Yeah, we should have made it…

Toma: You kind of remind me of Shin, Orlok.

Orlok: R-Really…?

Toma: Yeah. He's like a lil brother to me. ...Right. Can you try me calling me Onii-chan?

Orlok: What?

Toma: I'll let you in if you do. How?

Direttore: That's quite the painful request from someone whom you just met.

Nicola: I understand his feelings, though. "Onii-chan"... It has a nice ring to it.

Dante: I'll give it some thoughts if you want to be called that…?

Nicola: I don't know how to feel if you call me Onii-chan at this age… You think so, right, Direttore?

Direttore: Fufu… I will hate it, for sure. Well, I don't have little brothers? No need to worry about that?

Orlok: U-Umm, so what should I do?

Gilbert: Oops. M'bad. We stopped giving you instructions. ...Do as he said. We can't go on with the filming if he doesn't let us in.

Orlok: Okay.

...To-Toma Onii-chan.

Toma: Hm? Sorry, your voice is so small I couldn't hear it. Can you say it again?

Dante: He definitely heard it!

Nicola: Orlok, one more time!

Orlok: Toma Onii-chan…!

Toma: ...Nice. This feels satisfying for some reason. That guy will never call me that, after all. Alright, come in.

Orlok: I… I feel like I lost something important… In any case, I'm coming in.

Toma: I'm making dinner right now. Wait a bit, 'kay?

Orlok: Y-Yes.

Nicola: Orlok, how's the target doing?

Orlok: U-Uhh…

Toma: Bolognese with lots of minced meat~I feel like an Italian already~♪

Orlok: He's humming… some spells, I think? He's frying something while doing that… Looks very focused.

Dante: I see. It's time for our usual "House Tour" then.

Yang: Go to his closet.

Orlok: ...What!?

Nicola: Hm? You're up, Yang? Too bad. I wish you wouldn't wake up for eternity.

Yang: You sure are messing around with me, filming while I was sleeping. 5 billion women are crying right now.

Dante: 5 billion…!?

Yang: In any case, off you go to the closet, Orlok. Let's uncover the true nature of our targ--What are you all…?

Knocks.

Orlok: H-Huh? I can't hear you guys all of sudden...

Gilbert: ...Orlok, can you hear us?

Nicola: Don't mind us and just go on, Orlok. Yang is currently reflecting.

Orlok: O… Okay. So, I don't need to go to the closet?

Dante: Unfortunately, you must obey any instructions that have already been given to you. Let's head there while Toma is cooking.

Orlok: A-Alright.

***

Orlok: ...I found the closet.

Gilbert: Looks normal to me.

Nicola: Hey, Direttore? You've been quiet for a while. Come on, say something interesting.

Direttore: ...Ridiculous.

Dante: Where did all his tension from before go!?

Gilbert: H-Hey, you okay? Is your stomach hurt or something?

Direttore: ...I'm not interested in peeking into someone else's room.

Nicola: Hey, your real self is starting to show, you know? Be careful.

Direttore: ...Oops. I sincerely apologize for the mistake, letting out my honest opinions like that.

Orlok: ...I found the closet. It doesn't look suspicious.

Nicola: Where should we go next? He lives in a one-room apartment so there's nothing to look at.

Orlok: The balcony, maybe?

Gilbert: Nice idea. Let's take a look. Maybe he has a kitchen garden or something.

Orlok: Then, I'll open the curtain…

Opens.

Orlok: ...This is…

Dante: ...A cage.

Nicola: A cage.

Direttore: That's undoubtedly a cage.

Dante: This must be… the cage he uses for "Love and Madness of Animal Channel", right?

Orlok: To observe the animals…?

Gilbert: Y-Yea. Let's just think it that way.

Nicola: But any animals who could go into this cage… For example…

Direttore: Human beings.

All: …….

Nicola: ...Let's just pretend we do not see it.

Dante: I-I agree. My capo's intuition tells me this isn't something you can touch carelessly.

Orlok: Y-Yes. I'll close the curtain.

Closes.

Toma: …..

Orlok: !!?

Toma: ...Did you see?

Orlok: I-I didn't…

Toma: Really?

Orlok: (gulps)

Toma: Fine. Follow me, I just finished cooking.

Orlok: O-Okay.

Toma: I could only make this much.

Orlok: Whoa… Amazing.

Gilbert: How could he make this many in such a short amount of time!?

Dante: Now that I look at it again, what are those strange ingredients!?

Toma: You're in your growth period, right, Orlok? Eat a lot.

Orlok: Tha-Thank you. But is it really okay for me to eat this much…?

Toma: This is Latium's famous Volcano Bocca, a soup containing shrimps, shellfish and vegetables. You can warm up your body with this.

Direttore: Latium… I feel like I heard about it somewhere.

Orlok: I'm digging in...ugh!

Dante: A-Are you okay!? Did he put in poison or--!?

Orlok: S-Spicy… But it has such deep flavors…

Toma: These are steamed crab dumplings, dobin-mushi, and fried sesames. I used the vegetables from Kaga, queen crabs and barracuda stocks.

Orlok: T-These are great too! It tastes like something a pro chef makes.

Nicola: I get him. They look like the high-quality food you receive at the inns around Kanazawa.

Gilbert: That's an awfully detailed comment you have there.

Dante: Where is Kanazawa, anyway…?

Nicola: A place with the best onsen around.

Toma: I also have a cake. I heard your birthday is on April 23? Mine is on April 12. Since our birthdays fall on the same month, I made it for celebration.

Orlok: T-Thank you… Hehe… I'm happy…

Dante: …

Direttore: What is wrong, signore? Are you jealous he got sweets?

Dante: W-Why would I…!? I-I-I just think the appearance gets my taste buds tingling…!

Nicola: Endure it for a while. I'll buy you gelato after this.

Gilbert: Anyway, how come Toma knows Orlok's birthday?

Nicola: ...Now that you mention it…

Dante: …

Direttore: Let's put that aside. It's better to keep that a secret.

Orlok: (munch munch)

Toma: How? Is it tasty?

Orlok: Yeah. ...It makes me happy.

Dante: I don't know how to explain it but seeing Orlok eat makes me feel peaceful…

Nicola: I get you. Seeing Gilbert and Yang eat doesn't make me this happy. It's not heart-warming at all.

Gilbert: Yang aside, why do you have to connect it to me?

Yang: For crying out loud, don't put me and Redford on the same shoes.

Nicola: ...Oh? I'm sure I already locked you up. You broke out already?

Yang: Of course. After receiving such a warm welcome, I should give my thanks…

Gilbert: S-Stop it, Yang! Don't pull out your blade!

Dante: You too, Nicola! Put your gun away! We're still filming!

Direttore: Oh… What a scandalous dispute. It pains my heart.

[We are experiencing poor reception issues. Please enjoy this beautiful view of Sakura.]

Orlok: Thanks for the food.

Direttore: What a good boy. He ate them all without leaving anything.

Toma: Amazing, you ate them all by yourself. I was planning to put the leftovers into a container so you can share it with the others.

Gilbert: I wanted to try some after seeing so many interesting foods like those.

Orlok: So-Sorry. All of them were delicious so I just…

Dante: It's all right. Finishing them off is part of the rules so you didn't do anything wrong.

Nicola: Great job, Orlok. We have enough footage with this.

Orlok: Thanks for today, Toma. I'll be going now.

Toma: Ah, wait a minute. I actually have a request for you.

Orlok: ?

Toma: I still need more footage for my channel, can you help me with that?

Gilbert: Well, why not? He helped us wrap up the filming without any troubles.

Dante: We should return the favor.

Orlok: Okay. I'd like to help if there's anything I can do.

Toma: Great to hear that. Now--.

Can you get into the cage?

Orlok: ….Huh? ...What?

Toma: I've been keeping my eyes on you. Since you look like a small animal, it’s just perfect.

Gilbert: I see, so it's come to this…

Toma: I figured you'll be lonely so I put some plushies inside.

Orlok: T-That's not the problem here…

Toma: Now, now. You can't tell unless you try. Get in there.

Orlok: I don't want to--.

Toma: Only you can do this, Orlok. Please.

Orlok: ….

Toma: Can you look here? ...Yes, nice. It'll gain more viewers, I'm sure.

Orlok: Can I… get out of here already?

Toma: No, you just got in here. Oh, right. I have some chains. Can you put them on?

Dante: Even chains… This is abnormal…

Orlok: U-Uuuhhh… Guys, what should I do…?

Nicola: You'll be fine, Orlok. It surprisingly suits you.

Direttore: I agree. I'm sure there are people who are into this kind of thing.

Orlok: ...I'm not fine at all…

Toma: It's not as cute as hamster, but there's a huge demand for something like this. Do you mind if I turn it into a series if it gets good feedback?

Orlok: !!?

Toma: I think we were meant to meet. Shin would scold me again if he were here, though.

Orlok: I want to go home…

Toma: Hm? You want to meet him? He's off for another recording right now, so he probably won't return for a while.

Orlok: ….

...I realized something. I shouldn't trust others. The only one I could rely on is myself…

Toma: Haha. That's a nice expression you have there. With that said, it all depends on you guys whether I should make this a series or not. Don't forget to subscribe to our channel!

T/L Notes:  Dobin-mushi: Food steam-boiled in an earthenware teapot

[into-the-afterlife]

Why I Ship Johnny/Female V: Part 2

[Part 1] [Part 2]

This is Part 2 of my essay series on why I ship Johnny and female V. Back in part 1, I covered why I ship female V specifically with Johnny and not male V, as well as some thoughts on Johnny’s sexuality. This time, I’m looking at Johnny himself. (Content warning: there is some discussion of rape and how rape is handled in fiction.)

Johnny, ambiguity and age-old romantic tropes

Look, I’m just going to come out and say this: part of my interest in this ship is thirsting over Johnny. And when I’m interested in something, whether it’s an intellectual, creative or sexual interest, I like to do what I always do – analyse it to death. So what is it about the actor, the performance and the character that makes Johnny as attractive as he is?

Keanu Reeves himself, obviously, can’t be ignored here. He has a gorgeous face and voice, but crucially, he’s distinctively beautiful. Obviously, everyone has the right to be into what they’re into, and I don’t want to shame anyone for their tastes. But I do not understand people who are into the blandly beautiful. Sure, there’s nothing wrong about, let’s say, Chris Evans. But what’s right about him? Where are the snags that catch your attention and hold it? Where’s the life?

Reeves, meanwhile, is attractive because he’s unusual. He has long, dark hair, but he’s regularly photographed at public events with it mussed-up. He has a chiselled face, but his cheekbones are high enough that he looks alien. He has all the charisma of any Hollywood actor, but, whether this is him as he is or an especially well-calculated image choice, it comes off as genuine. When watching interviews with him, you feel less in the presence of a star and more an especially fascinating stranger at a party, one who, despite bursting with witticisms and stories, somehow wants to talk to you most of all.  

There’s also an element of age ambiguity here. Reeves is in his fifties, and while age suits his looks better than youth did, it shows. Meanwhile, Johnny the character is in his thirties when he dies, and to match this, the animators smooth out Reeves’ face and darken his beard. They also give Johnny the (unrealistic but glorious) organic arms of a dedicated bodybuilder. So what Johnny ends up with is the presence, confidence and charisma of an older guy, combined with the physicality of someone younger. It’s potent, to say the least. It also adds to Johnny’s uncanniness as a character. He’s caught between maturity and youth, life and death, humanity and machine; he’s hard to pinpoint no matter where you look. And whether you express this academia-style, as, ‘the gothic associates uncanniness with sexuality’, or internet-style,  as, ‘I’m a monster/robotfucker’, this is, as the kids say, pretty damn hot.

This uncanniness, as well as Reeves’ looks and performance, also offset some of the more unlikeable aspects of Johnny’s personality. This is best illustrated by the concept art created for Johnny before Reeves was brought on board. (Found courtesy of the lovely folks at r/LowSodiumCyberpunk.)

As you can see, they had a lot of Johnny’s look already nailed down. But this makes the differences all the more startling. This Johnny looks like he’s been dragged through the wringer. His hair is messier, and he seems to be getting premature wrinkles and balding. He’s strung-out, with a genuinely hopeless cast to his face. His look is also a lot more dated. While our Johnny has elements of the old rocker, the jean jacket, bandana, V-necked black jumper and aviators clipped to the tank top root this Johnny inescapably in 1980s music and fashion.

Why is all this relevant to shipping Johnny with V? Partially because I’m shallow, I’m not going to lie. But it’s also because making Johnny look like this would have made him much more obviously an intrusion. A guy dressed like this next to 2077’s booty shorts and space buns is like a ghost in a ballgown next to a woman in jeans. He’s not just out of time; he’s been irrevocably left behind. Johnny’s face here also has much less in the way of possibility. Where our Johnny says, ‘maybe your life would be better if you listened to me’, this Johnny screams, ‘my way is hopeless, but you can’t ignore it’. It’s leaning much more into the tragic aspects of Johnny’s character and of the genre of cyberpunk. And don’t get me wrong – I love that artwork, and think that angle would be an interesting artistic choice.

But making Johnny a tragic intrusion like this removes the element of seduction, so to speak, from his character. What makes Johnny attractive, ideologically, sexually and romantically, is a balance of certainty and uncertainty. On the surface, he’s passionately, blazingly certain of his politics, his music and himself. If you’re taking a leap of faith, whether that’s fighting against the corpos that rule your life or hopping into bed with an engram, what draws you to it is the kind of confidence that makes you doubt your own certainties. Yet too much of that can be off-putting. Nobody wants a partner who’s so cocksure (pardon the pun) that they don’t listen to what you want, and nobody wants a political ally who’s gone so far into their own rhetoric that they can’t convince those outside it.

Therefore, the common factor across all the ways Reeves’ looks impact our perception of Johnny is the balancing of two seemingly opposing things. Keep that in mind, because it only gets more relevant the deeper into this ship, and Johnny’s attractiveness, we go.

Of course, Reeves’ looks are far from the only thing he brings to the table. His acting, across body language, facial expressions and voice acting, is incredible. I want to take a look at his voice acting, as well as his voice generally, first.

I’m not familiar enough with the subtleties of American accents to pinpoint why, but Reeves’ accent sounds slightly different to the more generic accents of other famous actors. Perhaps it’s because he’s Canadian. Either way, his consonants are less harsh on the ear than other A-list actors, his vowels less elongated. He speaks slowly, sounding as if he just woke up. His voice is mellow and soothing; it’s the sort of sound you could take a bath in.

(For reference purposes, I’m listening to this Cyberpunk trailer as I write this, as well as, um, this video that I’ve watched far too many times. XD)

Obviously, to play Johnny he has to modify that laid-back aspect of his voice. But it’s interesting how his natural voice and his ‘Johnny’ voice bounce off each other. Reeves is able to pull off a much more belligerent Johnny than many actors could, precisely because of that laid-back quality his natural voice has. Think of that ‘impressive cock’ line. It’s made as funny as it is because of the total lack of shame in how Reeves delivers it. But in the mouth of an actor like, let’s say, Robert Downey Jr, that level of shamelessness would just come off as annoying. Reeves uses his natural voice to amp up Johnny’s, for lack of a better word, Chad-ness, far beyond the place another actor could manage. Because he has that base of softness, he can go hard on Johnny’s arrogance.

Why is this relevant to Johnny’s attractiveness as a character, as well as why Johnny/F!V are a fascinating ship? To develop a character well, you have to have an extremely solid base to start on – and that base is where a lot of writing and acting falls down. The audience has to know intimately what a character is usually like, or who they seem to be, before burrowing into the character further is made effective. That equal hard/soft approach means that when Johnny does soften later in the game, it seems both unexpected and inevitable. Even as the harsh tone and words were conveying one thing, that softness underneath was always conveying another. But the fact that Reeves can go hard on the arrogance makes that change much more impactful than it would be in another character. Once again, we’re seeing an equal balance of two seemingly opposing qualities, not openly leaning towards one or the other.

There’s also some aspects of the body language Reeves and the animators give to Johnny I’d like to focus in on. While I’m not an actor, nor am I a psychologist, and therefore am likely to have missed things, there were a few things I noticed when going through footage of Johnny in pivotal scenes. (If you spot something I haven’t talked about, please reply or reblog! I’d love to get a back-and-forth discussion going.)

Over and over again, Johnny’s body language has two layers. There’s what I’m calling the ‘douchebag’ layer, which is where Johnny seems insultingly relaxed. The scene when V and Johnny first meet, as well as the scene at the diner, have two great examples of this. Johnny gets into V’s space, but it’s slow, catlike. There’s no urgency when he leans in, nor when he stands over V.

Similarly, at the diner, he tells V he doesn’t want to kill her anymore – something pivotally important for their relationship and the plot - while putting his arms behind his head and his feet up on the table. It communicates, at least on the surface, a real sense of disrespect. ‘I don’t give a shit’, says his posture, ‘whether you hate and fear me or not’. His threatening slowness when they first meet, meanwhile, communicates that he doesn’t think V is a competent opponent. Why should he hurry if he can get her any time?

At least, that’s what it looks like. Take a look from 9:40 onwards here. Sure, he swings his legs up on the table – but not before hurrying into the diner booth and tapping his fingers rapidly on the table. Even when he gets into that relaxed posture, he’s bouncing his leg the entire time. Those catlike movements I talked about when they first meet? If you look from 5:42 here, they’re there. But they’re also interspersed with banging his head incessantly against the wall, pacing back and forth and glitching unpredictably all around the room.

This is where the second layer of Johnny’s body language comes in. Underneath all that casual condescension, he communicates constant, frenetic energy, even anxiety. Even in his default, idle animations, it’s extremely rarely that Johnny communicates real coolness and calm. He covers constantly racing thoughts and feelings with a slick persona.

What this does is very like the hard/soft balance of the voice acting I talked about earlier. Because the ‘douchebag’ layer of body language is the most obvious one, you pick up on that first. But the other layer is there throughout Johnny’s entire arc, and it goes into your brain on a much more subconscious level. Then, when Johnny’s guard does come down, it seems like a natural development of his character while still being a surprise. Once again, there’s that knife-edge balance between two disparate qualities. And for me, attraction always lies in the space between.

There’s also something highly sexual about the way he gets into V’s space when they first meet, the way he stands over her. When first playing the scene where they first meet, it felt like watching the moments before an act of rape. You see him first as he leans over you while you’re still in bed. He beats you to the ground, smashes your head into the window, and towers over you while you’re collapsed on the floor. Given the context of him taking over your body, the overtones are unmistakeable.

But again, crucially, that frantic body language and his lines are the complete opposite of how someone behaves when making the kind of power play that rape is. The pacing, the panicked words and the fact that he’s caught off guard all communicate disempowerment. While it’s still a violent, frightening scene, it’s not a monstrous one.

Why is that relevant to discussing Johnny’s attractiveness, and Johnny/V? Because rape fantasies and male domination are some of the oldest tropes in the book for M/F romantic arcs. Done properly, they play on desires of sexual submission without explicitly acknowledging the kink, depict the eroticism of that liminal space between humanity and monstrosity I talked about earlier and allow you to fantasise about being deeply wanted. Of course, that last bit isn’t a factual depiction of rape in real life. But in the fantasy, the story, the idea of being ravished is partially about being special, being so uniquely attractive that the guy loses all control of himself. If you have a more conservative or repressed view of your sexuality, the ravishment/rape fantasy also allows you to fantasise about sex without seeing yourself as a slut. (This post is a great look at that last idea as applied to the movie Labyrinth, if you want to find out more.)

The idea of sexualised monstrosity is also everywhere in the tropes used to characterise Johnny. He’s a troubled rockstar, an angst-ridden artist who died tragically young, a violent political rebel, part human and part supernatural creature, a charismatic, cocky, seemingly heartless guy, who just might have a heart if you look deep enough. What all these tropes have in common is the promise of both reassuring humanity and fascinating, exciting monstrosity.

Reeves’ and Johnny’s looks combine strangeness and humanity. Reeves’ voice acting moves between soaring arrogance and languid softness. Johnny’s body language combines fear and overconfidence. And the use of age-old romantic tropes in an unexpected context, as well as the use of these specific romantic tropes, knit all the effects of the other things together to create that balance between the human and the strange. He’s unusual enough to be interesting, human enough to seem real and associated with all our cultural symbolism of an attractive man. With all that going on, how could you not find him hot as hell?

But the thing about these tropes is, they’re also so common they’re clichéd. Not just in fandom, but all across Western media and art. So what lifts Johnny and Johnny/V out of being something generic? What makes them so fascinating that I’ve written thousands of words about them? What, in short, makes them different?

That’s what I’ll go into next time.

[Part 1] [Part 2]

[natromanxoff]

Mercury Roadrunner's Interview about Freddie Mercury with Peter Freestone – Part III

Thanks very much to Mercury Roadrunner (Pavel Strashnyy) for letting me share his amazing interviews! Originally shared here. Check the tag "MR interview with Phoebe" to see the other parts.

Here are the 6 main topics of this interview, beginning of each topic is written in bold:

1. Freddie's clothes and beliefs, drugging story

2. Freddie's family

3. South American tour

4. Memories about Brian, Roger and John

5. Books, plays and opera

6. Before and after concerts, Michael Jackson, first memory about Freddie, what how would it be if he was still alive?

PS: So, here is our third part, and the first topic is about Freddie’s clothes for concerts. On the Hot Space tour, we can see arrows in Freddie’s clothes. What was so special for Freddie about these arrows?

PF: I don’t know. It’s just something that got into his mind. They are also in the video for “Body Language.” I think it’s just something that fascinated him at the time. He just decided he liked arrows.

PS: I see. And where exactly did you source all those arrowed vests and jackets for him, for concerts?

PF: They were actually all made in America, they were made for him. They bought the T-shirts and painted them on. And with the leather jackets and the other jackets, they just made them. There was that one big jacket he had. He only wore it, I think, once or twice. With the actual arrows sewn onto it. He literally wore it two times, I think. The reason he didn’t use it was because he couldn’t take it off on stage, because as soon as he started sweating it stuck to him. So, there was no way he could just take it off. That’s why he stopped using it. But it was just a phase he went through.

PS: Speaking about Freddie’s T-shirts, Freddie used to wear quite a few T-shirts with logos of different gay establishments, different gay clubs, such as Haven, The Works. And the question is, how exactly did he usually obtain such T-shirts? Were they given to him as presents or did he buy them?

PF: Most of them were. I mean, obviously, we offered to pay, but then the manager says, “No, no, no. Take it, take it.” Because, of course, it’s going to be good advertising for them, isn’t it?

PS: With such a superstar wearing their T-shirts. Speaking of clubs, have you ever visited the famous Studio 54 in New York?

PF: Yes, we were there quite often. Usually on the Sunday night. And, it was fine, it was good. It was the Sunday, because he went to The Saint on Saturday. It was fun, it was good. It was so very, very different because of the history that was attached to it. But it was good, it was big enough for people to hide in. If you wanted to be seen in a photograph – yes, fine, well and good. But if you didn’t, then there were plenty of places where you could just stand or sit, or whatever.

PS: In what ways was it different?

PF: I mean, the feeling of the place. Because they spent a lot of money on the interior. With all the different lighting, stage, everything was there. It had that, sort of, bit of glamour.

PS: Actually, as we mentioned the holiday of Easter at the beginning of our talk, I would like to ask you, in your understanding, was Freddie any kind of spiritual person? Maybe not religious but sort of a believer, as we can see a lot of lyrics for his songs where he mentions God.

PF: He didn’t follow any organised religion, because it’s something that he never really spoke about, because he felt that and politics were, in fact, very private to a person. But I do believe he had a faith, he did have his belief, but not in any way that we would recognise.

PS: Coming back to our topic about clubs, could you please try to remember the story about Freddie meeting one of the members of Village People in one of the clubs?

PF: I’m trying to remember which club we were in. It could actually have been The Works where we met him, because I know it was just a chance meeting. We then went to some promotion thing that the Village People were doing. And we were there, we met up with David Hodo; he was the construction worker. They became good friends, and they would meet up quite often in clubs whenever Freddie was in New York. But it was just a chance meeting.

PS: There were some kind of rumours that some accident happened to Freddie when he met one of the Village People members in a club. Do you remember anything like this?

PF: Accident, no. There was that time in one of the clubs, there was a group of us and David was there with us. I went to the toilet and told Freddie, “Just stay here.” And he says, “Yes, yes, yes.” And then I went to the toilet and when I came back, of course, he wasn’t there where he was supposed to be. And then David came and found me and said, “You better come and give Freddie a hand,” I said, “Why? What?” He said, “You have to see it.” We went round the corner and there was Freddie jumping in a big, sort of, net container where there were all the plastic cups from the drinks you just threw away. He was just jumping up and down in it, because someone had actually put something into one of his drinks, and he just had gone… happy. [laughs] So, between David and myself, we just lifted him out, took him and stood him by the bar and wouldn’t let him go anywhere.

PS: Coming back to the Hot Space times, you can be actually seen in the backstage footage of the Milton Keynes Bowl show, and you are walking together with Freddie to the stage. Can you please share any special memories about this show?

PF: The show itself, no. But the night before the show, he was bitten on his hand by his boyfriend at the time, Bill Reid. He bit him and drew blood between his thumb and his forefinger. So, Freddie was having a bit of a problem playing the piano at that show. As far as the music goes, it was another big outdoor Queen show.

PS: Speaking about the Hot Space tour, in general, what was the most specific moment or, maybe, your personal memory of it?

PF: No, not really. One tour blends into the next tour, whether it was Europe or America. When you are actually on tour, it’s basically the same every evening – soundcheck, show, out, hotel, travel to the next place. It became very much routine.

PS: As a viewer, you have seen only one Queen show, right?

PF: Yes, the show I have seen was one of the Wembley shows in 1986. It was the Friday night. He had friends over from America and he wanted me to look after them. And then Joe actually took care of him for the show.

PS: And you saw it not from the stage but as a viewer?

PF: Yeah. We were all sat in the royal box, which was, sort of, the VIP area. You don’t get any good view or anything, and this is in any show. It’s either right at the side or whatever. You don’t really see anything. It’s really a place where celebrities can go and sit so that the audience can go and see them. That’s what it was about, really.

PS: What are your memories about Freddie’s family? This is our second topic. What are your memories about Bomi and Jer.

PF: I probably saw them five times in my entire life. He tried very much to keep his music life totally separate from his family. The music side of him did not really fit with their strict Zoroastrian faith. He didn’t want to push their noses in it. He would bring them to one show each tour of Europe when they [Queen] were in London, and that would be it.

PS: Even if you saw his parents five times or something, could you remember, in general, your impression of his father? As we can see his mother, Jer, in some documentaries. But what was his father like?

PF: His father was just quiet, very, very quiet. Which was unusual in that sort of family, because normally it was the male who was dominant, and the females were submissive. But it was very much the other way round with this family. The mother did a lot more talking. I probably had more to do with them after Freddie died than when he was alive, because I talked to them to find out what they needed for the service and everything. The whole world had had him for twenty odd years, he was owned by the world, so I felt it was only right particularly at this time that his parents got what they needed. They should never be burying their son. That’s not supposed to happen. So, for them to be able to deal with the whole thing I felt it was only right to actually accommodate them with the funeral service and everything. So that’s why I say that I probably spoke more with them then than at any time before.

PS: Do you have, maybe, any kind of memories of Freddie spending time together with his sister, Kashmira?

PF: She came to Garden Lodge not even as much as his parents did, because she lived in a different city, she lived in Nottingham. If their parents came to Garden Lodge, maybe, six times, she would have been there, maybe, three. They spoke on the phone every now and then, probably not even quite as much as with his mother. It wasn’t a close, close family like so many people believe families should be, but then I fully understood it, I fully understood his feelings there.

PS: Do you find any similarities between Kashmira and Freddie? Are they in some ways like each other?

PF: I think so. But I found out a lot more in the more recent years than while Freddie was alive. She enjoys her life with what Freddie has given her. And the way she honours Freddie because Freddie gave her 25% of his money. And she’s buying these really classy, good quality jewellery and cigarette cases and everything, and then she lends them to the Victoria and Albert Museum in Freddie’s name. So, she’s enjoying the money but letting the world know that it’s only through Freddie. I admire her for that. If Freddie was to actually be seeing what she’s doing, he would be over the moon because she’s enjoying the money. So many people just cannot, but she is, she is definitely enjoying it.

PS: She has a total right to do so.

PF: Yes, very much so, because she’s doing what, I believe, Freddie would have wished her to do. Because he enjoyed his money, so that’s why he gave it to her so that she could enjoy her life, enjoy things. And, as I say, the things that she buys she lends to museums in Freddie’s name. So, he’s still there, he’s still represented. I think that’s perfect.

PS: Our third topic is about Queen’s first tour in South America, as it was a very special one. What are your favourite memories about this one, if you can try to remember?

PF: The memory that sticks in the mind was the police escort that we had going back from the first show in Argentina. There are photographs all over the place, with John Deacon playing with the gun and them travelling in an armoured truck and that sort of stuff. That was something incredible. It’s something that you could tell your grandchildren you were there, it’s one of those things. The shows themselves were wonderful because Freddie was playing to the biggest audiences that he’d ever played to at that point. And he loved it, he loved being on the stage. The memories I have are more offstage than onstage. There was the very, very quick drive from the hotel to the airport after the show in Venezuela, because the president died that day and they were going to close the country down to go into state mourning. If the band and the set and everything were still there, we would never have been allowed to leave. There were no flights, there was nothing. So, we drove so, so fast through to get out before the lockdown happened there. It was amazing. And then, of course, there was Mexico, in Puebla where there was this old, old stadium. And the backstage, you just wouldn’t believe what was there. It was just broken down, old cement and concrete. No locks on doors. There was one toilet that we had to create a sign for, so when you went in you put “Engaged”, and when you came out you put “Vacant”. There was no lock on the door. And then, of course, that was where there was the problem with the crowd. The band didn’t know anything about, none of us did until afterwards. The reason that batteries and everything were thrown at them on the stage was because, apparently, before the fans could go in, the police took all the batteries out of recorders, cameras and everything, so none of the show could be recorded or filmed. But then when they were inside, the crowd could buy their batteries back. And the crowd thought that this was part of a deal with Queen and that’s why they started throwing stuff at them.

PS: Very extreme concerts, right?

PF: But when Freddie was on stage, he thoroughly enjoyed it. It really fulfilled his dreams.

PS: The fourth topic is: A lot of people ask you about Freddie, but we must remember that actually you were quite close with all Queen members. My question is about each of them. What are your special memories or stories? Let’s start with Brian.

PF: There’s a photograph. There was Brian, myself and Brian’s security. We were down by the pool. I cannot remember which hotel. I was lying on the grass in the sun and Brian was there and we were chatting. And then his bodyguard came and just sat on me. There’s a photograph of it on the internet. And Brian just sat there laughing. He just laughed and laughed and laughed, and didn’t do anything to help me.

PS: Any special memory about Roger in all those years with Queen?

PF: Again, this was in South America where he and I had a go-kart race, there was this amazing go-kart track near one of the cities. I was out there with Roger, there was a group of us out there. We had this amazing race. Because he loves cars, he’s always driving cars. He decided he was going to be champion go-kart driver. That was fun. All the things are fun that we did. John had the family with him [in South America] some of the time. I used to babysit his children. I think there were three boys at the time. There’s photographs round and about of me with John’s children playing around at the airport. I was there to make sure to keep an eye on them. The off-duty times were really good memories.

PS: The fifth topic. Freddie, in one of his interviews, said that he considered reading books not a very interesting activity. Could you please try to remember whether there was some certain book or books that had an important meaning for Freddie?

PF: In the twelve years I knew him, I never saw a book in his hand. He would read magazines, like Architectural Digest, because he just loved furnishing things inside the house, on the properties he owned. But I never really saw him reading a book. But, saying that, with the intelligence that he had, he must have read books. I think probably they are things that he learnt at school. He was very clever. I finished the boarding school at eleven, and he carried on until he was seventeen, so he probably would have learnt so much more that I did. But I never saw him with a book in his hand.

PS: In that case, could you please try to remember any theatre play or opera libretto that he liked because of the storyline or the characters?

PF: It started off as a play but then it was made into a film. He saw the play in London when they put it on. And it was called “The Women”. He found that fascinating. It was a comedy film about how women dealt with divorce and separation and love, and all that sort of thing. It was just very quick-witted. He loved everything. You had to listen carefully to understand the joke. In so many of these films, they do short, quick sentences. He would pay attention to those sort of things. That one he went to because he wanted to see the play. Most of the time, he went to see plays because of the people who were in it. His friends would invite him to a show. I bought the tickets and took him to see the play “Little Foxes” in New York, and not because he would be interested in the play or what’s going on, it was purely because Elizabeth Taylor was the star. A lot of the time, he went to these things because of who was in it rather than what it was.

PS: Was there any opera libretto that he liked the most because of the story or characters?

PF: Not specifically for story and characters, because anything that Montserrat could sing, he just loved listening to her voice. He didn’t have to know the story behind it. It’s just as well because in most operas you don’t understand the story, because this mother lost this son, he was taken away by someone else, or she stole another one, and then this son falls in love with this person but that’s his sister. You know, you really do not want to know the stories of operas, you just want to listen to them.

PS: Speaking about you, what are your favourite books and writers?

PF: It really depends on my mood at the time. Actually, I do quite like Stephen King, but not everything that he’s done. I mean, I like the general style of his writing, of his books. Operas, I have about 1,500 operas in mp3’s and on physical CD’s. And I will listen to one every day. It just really depends on the mood. Mainly things written by Rossini, Bellini, Donizetti and Verdi. The storyline is almost always the same, except if it’s based on a historic fact. It’s always a love story, sometimes it ends happily and other times she dies of consumption or she dies of something else. As I say, generally, you don’t pay attention to the words. I ask so many people, when they listen to a song for the first time, do they listen to the music or do they listen to the words? The vast majority of people listen to the music first. It’s the same with opera. He had to be able to read music, although he might say he couldn’t because he did those piano exams. You have to read music. But I don’t think he was so interested to actually pick up a school. He would not sit at the piano and play something from notes. That he couldn’t do, he just would create it himself.

PS: Speaking about Stephen King, as you mentioned him, do you like his book “The Shining” and the film with Jack Nicholson?

PF: Very good. That one I like very much. I like “The Shining”. I thought the book adaptation was actually very, very good. Another one that I like of his was “Salem’s Lot”; there is a miniseries made of that which actually reflected the book very, very well. Because Stephen King is involved with the films of his books most of the time, they tend to be much better versions of the books than so many films. So many films are supposed to be based on a book than have all of the director’s own ideas and what it should be like and everything else. So, when you look at the film, you actually wonder if you’re looking at the right film.

PS: Must agree with this. As a close friend of Freddie, as a writer yourself and as a book lover, here’s a special question: With whom could you compare Freddie amongst fictional characters from books?

PF: [laughs] Oh brother! There isn’t one. [laughs] Not in anything I’ve read that Freddie could compare with. I mean, maybe, there’s a little bit of Freddie in so many different characters. For example, Sir John Falstaff. I don’t remember which Shakespeare play he’s in, but he’s in a couple of operas. And just that character, I can see a bit of Freddie in there. Anything passionate I can see Freddie in. Anything with a love story in it, because that’s what he was always looking for. Anyone specific, no, I don’t think that exists. So, a book would have to be written around him.

PS: The next topic is: What was Freddie’s excitement like right before going on stage? Was he mostly visibly excited or otherwise calm and deep inside himself before the show?

PF: Really, most of the time when I was there with him getting ready for the show, there was always a rule that everybody, all friends and family had to be out of the dressing room at least half an hour before the show. They would have to sit in the guest room, so the band could, sort of, concentrate. In Freddie’s mind, there was no reason to panic because the show was going to happen whether he panicked or not. He was actually quite calm going into a show. He would pump himself up but on his own. He would just move his arms around and jump a little bit. And it wasn’t the excitement, it was just to get the body moving because he knew what he’d appear on the stage. His body would not stop moving for an hour and a half, two hours. He had to basically warm the body up a bit. Vocally, he would do a little bit of vocal exercises, but not specific exercises, he would just hit notes to try and place his voice, so he had some idea of what he was going to do that night. But there was no visible excitement. I suppose, perhaps, there was more excitement in South America than any other show that I was at, because of the size of the audience and because it was a first. Any of the shows they did in South America were a first, they’d never been done before. There was a bit of excitement because he didn’t know what was going to happen. When he was touring the normal America, Europe, it was things he’d done before, so he knew what to expect.

PS: Speaking about backstage before the concert, we can actually see you walking with Freddie in Los Angeles, and there we can also see Michael Jackson. Do you remember this show and Michael backstage with Freddie?

PF: Again, there’s pictures of it. That was more after the show where Freddie went into the guest room. They actually started in the dressing room, because nobody was allowed in the dressing room half an hour before and half an hour after while they got changed. But once they had come down from the show, a few special guests would be allowed into the dressing room, but then the band would go into the green room where all the artists and guests were. I remember seeing Freddie talking with Michael. It was just interesting for me to see these two who were at the peak of their performances, although they were so different but they were so similar. I know it sounds stupid, but that’s what I felt.

PS: What is your favourite memory of you and Freddie visiting Michael?

PF: There’s too many, I suppose. For me, it’s playing video games with Michael Jackson, because he had this big room where he had the arcade versions of video games. He just picked one and called Freddie and me over, and we were playing. There was this old-fashioned tennis thing. An oblong screen and on each side, you had a pedal that you moved up and down to hit the ball. We were playing that. It was wonderful. It was actually in Encino, the house before Neverland, the house that his mother lives in now. But, I suppose, the thing that I took away with me from that day was purely the fact that Michael didn’t treat me any differently than how he treated Freddie. Whatever happened in his life, whatever the truth is, the way that man treated me will stay with me all of my life because, as I say, it was no different at all from how he treated Freddie.

PS: He was very open to you, right?

PF: Yes.

PS: Speaking about the opposite of the before stage time, what was Freddie like after the concert? What was his mood mostly like?

PF: Mostly, he was up. In the dressing room, immediately after the show, there would be shouting and screaming for anything that went wrong. They always wanted to give a perfect show, and when they couldn’t it was hard. They would really get it out of their system. But once that had been done, he was generally always in a good mood. He just couldn’t wait to get out. I understand why he was out every night, because you cannot go to bed after a show like that, you’re just so full of adrenaline it just wouldn’t work.

PS: It’s like the second wave coming?

PF: Yeah. All the adrenaline that appeared during the stage show had to go somewhere, it doesn’t drain off in five minutes. That’s why he was out until four or five in the morning.

PS: At what time did Freddie usually go to sleep?

PF: It depends on what we were doing. I would think that average time would be between three and four.

PS: Three and four in the morning, right?

PF: Yeah. Sometimes he might go at two, and if he was in the studio, sometimes he might go to bed at six.

PS: How many hours did he usually sleep?

PF: He was usually awake by nine o’clock, so he would normally sleep for six or seven hours.

PS: Did he have any kind of repeated night dreams that he, maybe, told you about?

PF: No, nothing like that. He never told me anything. He would say he had a good night or a bad night but wouldn’t really go into description of dreams.

PS: You mentioned many times that your favourite Freddie song is “My Melancholy Blues.” Could you please try to describe why it is your favourite song?

PF: Yeah, because it’s so very, very different, because as soon as you mention the name Queen you automatically think of big harmonies, multilayered guitars, just huge songs. And this was just the total opposite. It’s just got a piano, a bass, a bit of drums and a voice. It’s all so partly autobiographical of Freddie’s party. He used to have so many parties, but in the end the party’s over, he would find someone else. The party doesn’t have to be a party with drinks and all the rest of it, it could just be a good time he had with someone. It’s just the total opposite of your classic Queen song. It’s just so quiet, it’s so personal.

PS: Could you please quote your favourite line from the lyrics?

PF: I suppose it has to be the opening line. “Another party’s over and I’m left stone cold sober.” It’s just Freddie, it sums up Freddie.

PS: Was he really a bit sentimental and sad when the real parties were over?

PF: Sentimental, maybe, but not sad, because most parties that he had were usually a success, so he would be happy and sentimental. The thing is, if that one’s over, there can always be a next one. There’s no need to be sad.

PS: What is your very, very first memory and image of Freddie when you first met him?

PF: Oh, that’s easy, I know exactly. He’s not very tall, is he? He was 175 cm and I was 187 cm. I looked down at him. You look, everybody imagines Freddie to be a giant because of the videos, because of the way he is on stage. He just looks huge. So many videos are shot from just a little bit looking upwards which makes him look taller. It was great, just looking at him and thinking, “He’s not tall.” His personality, his aura certainly made up for that, because he could walk into a room and every head would turn. They could feel Freddie Mercury had walked into the room.

PS: The very first moment you saw him, did he walk into the room or did you walk into the room where he already was?

PF: I walked into the room because he was already there talking with some friends. This was after the Royal Ballet Gala. And then he, sort of, looked, he wasn’t talking and looking around, and I just went to him and I just had to tell him how wonderful I thought the whole evening was. It wasn’t like he was this massive great superstar who I was scared of, because I’d been dealing with stars for the last four years and people who he considered were real big stars. He often used to say how proud he was of the fact that he took me away from the opera house where real big stars performed.

PS: What was his response to your comments about his show? What was your first conversation like?

PF: It was strange because I expected it to be rock’n’roll, rough, the way he talked on stage, but he was polite, he was a gentleman. That was all totally unexpected, because you expect a rock’n’roll star just to have the words ready on the end of his tongue for this and that. And the only reason that he spoke with me, because normally he would not speak to a total stranger, was because his friends were around him. One of them could easily have taken him away if he wasn’t happy. That’s all he needed. But then we started talking and it was it. I mean, it was just a three- or four-minute conversation, not a lot. As I say, from the very start, I could not be over how polite he was.

PS: So it was enough for him to spend, like, four or five minutes with you to later contact you and ask you to work with him on tour?

PF: Yes. As I say, whatever happened in those four or five minutes obviously worked because of that phone call a week later. I can imagine, he would be talking with Paul Prenter because they were going out on tour and they didn’t have anybody looking after their costumes because Dane had walked out. I can imagine him, “Look, I was talking to someone, he does costumes at the opera house for the ballet. Why don’t we try and call him?” I can imagine how it was because I know him and what he was like.

PS: As you mentioned Paul Prenter, was there anything good in Freddie’s relationship with him? Do you remember any good moments with Paul Prenter?

PF: He kept Freddie happy for a lot of the time. He kept Freddie company. Freddie was never alone when he was around. Paul was always there. But he’s got that bad reputation and all the rest of it, which sort of he’s deserved. He did care about Freddie.

PS: Concluding our final part, Freddie Mercury would have been 75 years old this year, but if we imagine Freddie was born, let’s say, in 1986 and if he was only 35 years old today in the year 2021, in our modern times, what do you think he would be like today?

PF: That’s so hard to say because life is so different. At that age, he would have grown up with computers. If things still carried on like they have done, I don’t think he would be happy because people don’t buy albums anymore, they don’t buy CD’s, they don’t buy physical, everything is “download.” Part of the joy for him was designing the album covers. He hated working at home, he refused to work at home. But nowadays you have to work at home and then take your music into the studio to get it mixed. I don’t think he would be really comfortable in this time. Because there’s no music like Queen have done, that doesn’t exist anymore. There are no bands who do things like that anymore. Or the bands that do, they are all in their 70s. His music would go nowhere. I also personally believe we are all here where we’re supposed to be. I think, if Freddie had a real big choice, he would have been born fifty years earlier because he was that sort of Victorian, Edwardian gentleman. He was a real gentleman. And that sort of existence wasn’t around when Freddie would have been able to enjoy it. But then, how many rock stars do you know that have had at one point the largest private collection of antique Japanese woodblock prints? That just isn’t rock’n’roll, is it?

PS: And if he was 75 this year, in his 70s, what would he be like today?

PF: He would be miserable because he never ever wanted to be old. As you get older, you cannot physically do what you used to do. A 70-year-old cannot, in the very, very best of health, do what a 30-year-old can do. It’s just physically impossible. That deterioration would have upset him so much.

PS: If Freddie could talk to the new generation, our present teenagers and young people of today, what would his message to them have been?

PF: The thing I always got from him was that he cared for others just as much as he cared for himself. He did not put himself first, above anybody else. He just wanted to treat everybody nicely. That’s what he was like. And I think that’s what he would try and tell people nowadays because that doesn’t exist very much either anymore. Because this now is a world of “me, me, me.”

PS: So his message, in general, would be something like “You should take care of each other more”?

PF: Take care of each other, yeah.

PS: And if he could talk to exactly Queen fans, what would his message be today?

PF: “Well, just carry on and enjoy the music.” Because that’s something that all the Queens fans did. They loved the music. They’re the ones who are keeping it going now and creating new fans. So many students say to me, “My mother and father were huge Queen fans.” It’s going through the generations. Freddie has been gone thirty years, but people are still listening to his music as much now as they ever did.

PS: And we all hope that people will continue to listen to his music.

PF: No reason why not. We still listen to Rimsky-Korsakov, we still listen to Mozart. And they’re long gone.

PS: And he will be remembered for thirty, fifty and more years.

PF: I remember, this was a few years ago, when it was Mozart’s 250th birthday or something. And I did an interview and I said it would not surprise me at all that if in two hundred years people would still listening to Queen music, as they were still listening to Mozart. Because good music carries on.

PS: Let it be this way in years to come.

SPECIAL THANKS TO VALUREX FOR CONTRIBUTION AND ASSISTENCE

[shroomcult]

Hey folks!

Here’s my Day 1 post for Soma Week 2021. Tooth-rotting fluff towards the end - please enjoy. ^-^

@soulxmakaweek

Maka awoke with an audible groan, first registering the lack of her weapon’s familiar soul wavelength in the room before anything else. Whether she was disappointed or grateful of his absence was difficult to determine in her hazy mindstate.

Soul had been fussing over her for the past day, and while his concern for her comfort was endearing - his mother hen routine got old fast. 

His over-attentive behavior was at least understandable. He had little to do cooped up in their hotel room, and ended up alternating between watching cooking shows at a considerately low volume, pacing around what little square footage they had, and laying in his bed beside hers tapping out the rhythm to whatever was blaring from his headphones. He was sure to pester her about how she was feeling at least every 20 minutes and his restlessness had been grinding on her last nerve before she fell into a fitful sleep. 

If she had to hear “you okay?” or “need anything?” one more time, she was liable to snap and throw the closest object to her directly at his dumb, fluffy head. Not that he actually deserved it.

If she were being honest with herself, she was mostly frustrated with the situation itself - not Soul.

Well, maybe she was a little frustrated with Soul. 

He may have been outwardly kind towards her in her predicament, but she could feel something else beneath the surface of that. She was well-versed in the subtle language of Soul’s facial expressions after all. 

He was dying to tease her, and while she commended him for keeping his mouth blessedly shut about the humor in her suffering - she knew it amused him at least a little bit.

Because despite the fact that they had been sent to the bustling beach-side city of Recife, Brazil to take down a particularly cunning and repulsive kishin - she was not stuck in bed over any kind of work-related injury inflicted during their battle with the corrupted beast. 

There was no glory or dignity that could be gained from the current state of her weakness. She had not received her injuries from a tense and thrilling battle, but instead from being negligent in her application of sunscreen before falling asleep splayed out on a beach towel under the unforgiving afternoon sun.

Soul had even recommended that she apply sunscreen a second time for her “hella pasty” skin and she responded to his comment in kind by throwing the sunscreen bottle at him with impressive accuracy and force.  

Now she was bedridden with what was likely sun poisoning and had a complexion comparable to a hot dog. 

Perhaps she should have taken Soul’s advice after all.

She also may have reached her last straw with Soul’s smothering behavior earlier and said something along the lines of “please get the hell out of here and give me at least an hour of peace,” before taking her rather unsatisfying nap.

That certainly explained his absence.

She let out a heavy sigh before deciding she would deal with the pain of moving so that she could re-apply aloe vera for the twentieth time that day. Only this was the first time she would be doing it without Soul’s assistance.

It was difficult to reach most areas of her back without him. She was certainly flexible enough to do it on her own, but the pain that came with stretching her arms was something she would prefer to avoid experiencing if possible.

She started on lathering her arms and chest area first, grounding herself in the way it stung yet soothed at the same time. 

She only got through a small portion of her back before the combination of fatigue, nausea, and pain convinced her to give it a rest. 

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just figure out where Soul was. She didn’t need him or anything. She was just checking in - making sure he didn’t get himself into any trouble while she was asleep.

She made an awkward hobble across the room to retrieve her phone, careful to avoid bending her scorched appendages on the way there. 

It only took a ring and a half for Soul to pick up her call, and she cursed herself for the way her entire body relaxed a little at the sound of his voice.

“Hey. Everything alright?”

He had that pleasant gravelly quality to his voice that usually indicated he either just woke up or he had a few drinks. 

“I’m fine, Soul. I just woke up, actually. What have you been up to?” she’d tried to sound casual, but the hitch in her voice when she tried to lower herself back on to the bed betrayed her. The soft cotton sheets felt like they may as well have been a brillo pad against her sensitive flesh.

“Just givin’ you space like you asked. Found a neat little place to drink just down the road from us. To be honest with you, I think it might be a swinger bar or somethin’ - everyone here is middle aged and horny as hell.”

Maka felt a twinge of irritation at that last comment. Was he really off flirting with a bunch of Brazillian cougars while she was stuck in bed?

“S’not like I’m interested, but they keep buyin’ me drinks anyway. I don’t speak very good Portuguese and they seem to think that’s pretty sexy of me,” he added with a throaty chuckle that raised goosebumps across her skin.

“Why don’t you just stay there all night then! I could care less what you do!!”

She felt a bit childish for her outburst, but blamed it on Soul’s innate ability to push every last button she has in very few words.

“If you don’t care, then why’d ya call me in the first place?” She could just tell that his lip was curling into a smirk by his voice alone. Oh, he is so lucky he’s not in book-throwing distance.

“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t dead in a ditch somewhere,” she murmured with only a little bit of edge left in her. 

“Oh yeah? That all?”

“.... Also, I guess you can come back to the hotel room.”

“Sorry? Can you speak up a little?”

“I said you can come back to the hotel room! Don’t make me say it again or you can sleep on the streets!”

He responded with an amused snort, “Oh, that’s very gracious of you. What a loving and benevolent meister I have.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t fall in a ditch on your way here.”

“Love ya too, Maka. Be there in a few.”

With that the phone call cut off, and she was left staring at the ceiling and feeling an overwhelming warmth in her face.

She decided to blame that on the sunburn rather than her weapon’s comment.

It only took about 20 minutes before she heard the click of the hotel door as it swung open, her partner poking his head in first and flashing her a shark-toothed smile before he kicked the door open the rest of the way. He was carrying an entire pack of drinks under his arm and a plastic CVS bag in the other.

“Stopped by CVS round the corner. Dunno if you’ll like ‘em, but I got these weird electrolyte drinks. S’posed to help hydrate you better or something,” he said as he plopped down at the end of the bed, emptying the contents of the plastic bag.

“Also got you some ibuprofen, more aloe, and a couple snack things. I know you said you weren’t hungry, but you should really try and eat at least a little bit.”

Maka only nodded, slightly overwhelmed by how caring he was being despite her recently sour attitude. 

He tilted his head to the side for a moment, regarding her with gentle eyes before he got up and sat closer to her on the bed, being especially careful not to let his legs touch hers.

He slowly placed the back of his hand against her forehead muttering something about a fever, but she was too focused on his close proximity to her to even register what he was saying. He smelled of beer and limes and sunscreen.

His skin was a perfect bronze color, and he was showing off a lot more of it than he usually did. He was clad only in swim trunks, slider sandals, and a loose-hanging tank top that the top of his scar peeked out of.

He had been out in the sun just as long as she had, napping right beside her even, and yet his skin only tanned; never burned. The lucky bastard. 

He used the same hand he’d checked her forehead with to brush back a few stray hairs from her face. “Sleep okay?” he asked in a hushed tone, as if he were worried his voice would bother her. 

“I slept okay, I guess. Not much else I can do right now anyways.”

He nodded and gave a sympathetic click of his tongue, running his hand through her hair a few times before reaching for the aloe on the nightstand.

“Need me to get your back?”

She ignored his question, opting to rub the short-cropped silver whiskers covering his jaw with her palm.

“You need to shave.”

He rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated huff, squeezing the tube of aloe into his palms and rubbing them together. 

“I’ll just take that as a yes and pretend you think I’m roguishly handsome.”

That earned him a laugh from her that clipped short when he placed his hands softly on her back. It only hurt for the first brief moment of contact, but she soon hummed her approval as the stinging sensation in her back felt dulled and soothed wherever his hands caressed her. 

He was talented with his hands - knew just the right amount of pressure to give and take at each moment. She really had needed this. Trying to reach that spot between her shoulder blades on her own had been a nightmare.

Minutes passed with only the sounds of their breath and Soul’s practiced hands over her skin. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t. Everything was just easy with him.

“Hey, Soul?”

He acknowledged her with a noncommittal grunt.

“Thank you. I know I haven’t exactly been pleasant lately, but I really do appreciate all of your help.”

She wanted to say more, it felt as though she hadn’t really expressed to him how much he means to her, but Soul wasn’t one for flowery words and declarations of love. She knew that was enough of a thanks for him. 

“You don’t gotta thank me for all that, Maka. We’re partners, this is what we do for each other.”

“Right,” she whispered, a faint smile gracing her lips.

“All done,” he announced, “you gonna hang tight and read for a bit?”

“No - I’d like to, but I just feel too tired and nauseous to focus on anything like that right now. Maybe I’ll just try to take another nap.”

Without a word, he sauntered over to the book she had brought - a period-piece romance novel that he would make fun of at the first given opportunity. After it was in his grasp, he collapsed on his back right next to her. He really did kind of reek of beer, but she didn’t have the heart to push him away.

Once he found her bookmarked spot, he started from the top of the page with a hardy clear of his throat, reading the lead male love interest’s lines in the most posh and ridiculous accent she could have imagined.

She immediately burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles and snorts, which only encouraged him to continue, smiling from ear to ear as he did.

She nearly ran out of breath when he began reading the female heroine’s dialogue in a shrill voice that sounded more like an old British nanny than a pretty young woman. 

He continued this entertainment for an admirable hour and a half before he had to admit that his vocal cords were defeated from the strain of ‘fancy British lady voice.’ 

By the time he had put the book aside, she had a hand curled around his bicep and her face was buried in his neck.

He’d said he was watching TV, but he fell asleep within 10 minutes of setting her book down much like an old man.

Her skin felt dry and tight, a feeling she was easily able to ignore while Soul was reading for her. She was aware that she’d need to get up soon to re-apply aloe, or she’d regret it later. Yet, it was so difficult to move away from him. 

He was breathing deeply, and he smelled less like a bar and more like a beach the closer she was to him. He always looked so peaceful when he slept too. He looked young, like he didn’t carry the exhaustion that he usually does. 

Despite the calm, collected demeanor he always tried to hold around others - he carried a lot of weight on his shoulders from pretending to be the person that other people need him to be. From taking the load off other people’s backs, he only strained himself and she felt this tiredness from it all that seeped into the very cracks of his soul.

She wished he didn’t have to try so hard all the time. She wished he could let himself be taken care of for once.

“I know you told me before that I don’t need to thank you. That the things you do for me are what I should expect from a partner, but you really are more than that to me, Soul,” she’d only whispered this into the crook of his neck, but she lifted her head up just to check that he was still unconscious. 

He appeared serene, his breathing steady and not a crinkle in his face to indicate her words had disturbed him from his slumber.

“You can always depend on me too. I’d love to take care of you the way you take care of me. You deserve that - you know that, right?”

Not even a twitch.

She sighed, not expecting him to respond in the first place, but a little disappointed she hadn’t had the courage to tell him this while he was awake. She assumed it safe that he was in a deep sleep and began threading her fingers through his thick tufts of hair sticking up from his forehead.

“I know that when you say you love me, you’re talking about as a partner, as a friend. Well, I love you too. I love you a lot, Soul. I’m always afraid to say it back ... because it would carry a different weight when I say it. It’s like I’m afraid you’d just know.”

His breath hitched for a moment and her heart nearly jumped into her throat. 

He only readjusted slightly, pressing his cheek against the top of her head and making a small sound akin to a whimper before his breathing evened out again. 

She let out the shaky breath she had been holding and turned her head ever so slightly to press a soft kiss to his throat, where she could feel the warmth of his pulse.

“I hope we stay partners for a really long time.”

[andypantsx3]

ab intra | 1 | ab initio

pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi / Reader

length: 18,811 words / 6 chapters

summary: When a wave of disturbing crimes sweep the city, underground hero Hitoshi Shinsou is assigned to work the case with you. What’s even more frustrating than his obnoxious personality is the fact no one will tell you why he’s involved. Things only get more suspicious from there.

tags: romance, thriller, misunderstandings, pro hero AU, reader-insert

warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut, suicide mentions, brainwashing, consensual mind control, some violence

ab intra [ ahb in-trah ] — adverb, Latin — from inside; from within.

The victims couldn’t remember anything. The ones who had been left alive, anyway.

You sighed, tapping a fingertip idly against your desktop as you stared blankly at the notes on your computer screen. The fact that no one could remember who the perpetrator was, what they looked like, or even anything that had happened during that window of time was extremely unhelpful, and gave you almost no leads to go on.

You’d spent the better part of last week combing through CCTV footage surrounding both the museum and the bank, but nothing had proved decisive. There had been crowds of thousands going in and out of the museum, eager to see a new exhibit on historical wedding jewels, and as far as you could tell, everyone who had entered the grounds was accounted for, either dead or alive. It was much the same for the bank.

Footage from inside both buildings had been summarily destroyed, so there was no telling what had happened inside either. All you knew was that at both locations on two different days, it had been business as usual. Then the buildings had been robbed, five people had turned up dead, and scores more had lost upwards of thirty minutes.

The people who had died all appeared to have committed suicide--one leaping out a window from the top of the museum exhibit hall, another choking himself to death with his tie. There were no fingerprints, no weapons, no memories, nothing you could work off of.

It all pointed to a mind-altering quirk.

You’d pulled as many records as you could, spent the entire weekend scurrying around the courts in order to get as many restrictions lifted as possible, and ended up with a list of only twenty people, when you knew there were hundreds more. It was nearly impossible to get access to information on people’s quirks, even more so to get access to files on those who possessed abilities like this, due to the sensitive nature of their powers.

It made sense, given the kind of discrimination that could take place based on that information alone, but it was still infuriating, knowing the culprit could be in any one of those hundreds of files you’d been unable to get ahold of.

You’d done your best to follow up on what you had been able to get, however, researching the background of every person whose documents you'd been allowed access to. You’d been in the middle of one of the few files, nursing a coffee and something like a migraine, when a manila folder slapped you in the back.

“Captain wants you in his office,” your coworker Aya said, chuckling when you startled and spilled coffee onto your keyboard.

You whipped around in your chair to stare at her accusingly. “You did that on purpose.”

She flashed you a cheeky grin. “You’ve been wandering around the precinct like a zombie for days. You need some livening up.”

You honestly just wanted some livening down, for this case to solve itself and for you to be able to sleep for a week. But you didn’t say as much, digging a box of kleenex out of your file cabinet and sopping up the rivers of dark coffee pooling in between your keys.

“Captain was in a mood, so I recommend you pick up the pace,” she said, and you sighed, climbing out of your chair and throwing on your jacket. The captain always kept his office at a temperature only a polar ice cap might find suitable, and you needed to be properly equipped if this turned out to be more than a quick chat.

Aya’s theory was that he kept it so cold in there to dampen the burning hatefire of rage within him. You just thought his alien species preferred an icy freeze like that of space.

You hurried into the stairwell and down a fluorescent hall, stopping just outside a tall oak door with a little carved plaque that read Noriyasu Nagumo, Captain. You tapped twice, and the door opened inward immediately like someone had been waiting for you just on the other side.

Which, you discovered as you stepped inside, they had been.

A man with unruly indigo hair stood just inside the door, looking you over with a somewhat indifferent expression. He was tall, nearly lean, strapped with sleek muscle that was almost imperceptible through the black of his jumpsuit, and he wore a long scarf and dark, mask-like device at his neck. His eyes were an even deeper purple than his hair, giving his appearance an almost fey quality, and they were bright with a keen watchfulness that felt at odds with his disinterested look.

He was very striking, and you might have thought him handsome if it weren’t for the deep shadows beneath his eyes, or the strange sensation that washed over you as you looked at him, a prickle of feeling that told you there was something more to him than was plainly visible.

A sense of foreboding settled in your stomach as you registered his black jumpsuit, boots, and the strangeness of the items around his neck. It all screamed hero costume, and your mood immediately took a nose dive. You'd worked with heroes before, and it was hardly an experience you wanted to repeat.

At the other end of the room, your captain sat behind his heavy desk, a dark eyebrow raised and a stern look on his weathered features.

“You’re late,” he said by way of a greeting.

You glanced between the two men in question. “I came as fast as I could. Am I interrupting a meeting?”

The captain shook his head, gesturing both you and the purple-haired man to the chairs in front of his desk.

You took a seat, scooting imperceptibly farther from the man when he sat down next to you. Something about him raised your hackles, an aura of subtle command that made you feel like a cat whose fur had been brushed backwards. Coupled with his dismissive expression, you could already sense he was bad news.

“This is Hitoshi Shinsou,” the captain said, indicating the purple-haired man. “Shinsou is a hero on loan from the Public Safety Commission.”

You gave him a cursory once over. You’d never heard of him.

“Shinsou, this is Y/N, one of my investigators,” he continued. “She’s working on the museum and bank heist case we discussed earlier.”

This put you on edge. “What does he have to do with my case?” you asked warily. You’d been on at least three investigations with heroes before, and you knew all too well how things went. You didn’t need some asshole to contribute absolutely nothing to the case and swoop in at the last second to grab all the credit.

“Shinsou is being added as a resource to this case,” Captain Nagumo said. “You will operate as if he were co-lead on this investigation.”

Oh hell no. This case was especially complex and the last thing you needed was to slow down and onboard some random hero, just so he could muck about and up his credentials. People's actual lives were at stake here.

Your nails bit into your palms, and Shinsou smirked as if he knew what you were thinking. “Captain, with all due respect, there is nothing that indicates the need for a secondary lead on this assignment.”

The captain fixed you with a disinterested look. “And yet here you have one. Now that I’ve made introductions, please get Shinsou up to speed on your progress.”

"I can work faster on this alone," you argued. "How about we call Shinsou in when I've found something and he can help with the apprehension?"

Captain Nagumo's face went still. "This is not a request. Shinsou will be working this case with you."

You opened your mouth to argue, but the captain’s look shifted into something angrier and your teeth clacked together. There was a reason Aya spoke so openly about his inner hatefire--his temper was the stuff of legend. At least once a day the hallways echoed with the sound of his screaming, and you swore you'd once caught him suspending an officer for looking at him the wrong way. You’d gotten off easy with him so far, buoyed by your excellent track record, but the look he was giving you told you that could quickly change.

Shinsou leaned forward, and your eye darted to him quickly. “Why don’t you bring me to your desk and show me what you were working on?”

His voice was low, smooth, and strangely compelling. You found yourself entirely distracted from the captain's darkening mood, opening your mouth to reply before you could think better of it.

“I--,” you began. There was a small pause, then your temper caught back up with you. You exhaled through your nose. “Fine,” you said, climbing to your feet and heading for the door without a look backwards. “If you don’t want to get left behind, let’s go.”

You heard the scrape of a chair as Shinsou stood to follow you, a murmur as he bade farewell to the captain. Then he exited the office after you and shut the door quietly behind himself. You turned down the hall, walking briskly, like with any luck you could leave him in your dust, but he caught up easily enough, keeping pace with his long legs.

“How much did Captain Nagumo tell you about the case already?” you asked as you led the way up the stairs, taking a calming breath to soothe yourself. Professional, you could be professional. You'd managed it with all the heroes before.

“Not too much,” Shinsou replied in his low drawl. “Just that there had been break ins, multiple suicides, and a lot of missing memories.”

You pushed open the door to your floor and gestured him through, then stalked over to your desk. It had previously been a point of pride for you that your workspace was clean, devoid of the mountains of paperwork that cluttered everyone else’s because you knew how to keep on top of your reports, but in the last week, your desk had slowly started to amass a small tower of files not unlike those on the surrounding desks.

You shoved a bunch of files over and dragged over a chair from the staff conference table. “Sit and let’s chat, then.”

He dropped into the chair, legs stretched out in front of him, and you sat across from him.

“So why did they send you?” you asked.

Those purple eyes flicked over you. “To help.”

You suppressed an eye roll. Very informative. Some huge help this guy was already proving to be. “Obviously, but why you? What interest does the Public Safety Commission have in this case?”

He rolled a shoulder. “Dozens of people show up without their memories, and you think the police force can handle this without help? I'm here to provide support.”

He had a point but that still answered like zero of your questions. “So why you, specifically? What are you bringing to this case?”

A slow smirk made its way across his mouth. “My good looks and big brain.”

Your headache from earlier made a brief showing at your temples, and your small puddle of patience began to dry up. So this was how it was going to be.

“Fascinating. Well that will be a huge help, no doubt. Good thing they sent you.”

Shinsou's smile widened. “You don’t think much of me, do you?”

You eyed him irritably. “Listen, I don't mean to disrespect your profession. Heroes are great and totally needed for patrols and raids. When it comes to investigations, though, you slow things down, and I don't have time for you to hold things up.”

As you spoke, there was a sudden, small tug at the back of your mind, like a thought on the edge of resurfacing. You stopped short, brow furrowing. Had you forgotten something urgent?

Shinsou raised a dark eyebrow, pulling your attention back to him. “Is that so?” he asked.

Something like dry amusement layered in his tone, and the rest of your patience vanished. Was his quirk raising blood to a boil? If so, he wielded it with unparalleled skill and dexterity.

“What’s your background?" you demanded. "And your quirk? I’m assuming they didn't add you to this case for your charm and social grace.”

He smirked again. “I’m afraid that’s above your clearance level.”

Your stared at him in disbelief. Above your clearance level? He had the gall to waltz in here and insert himself into your case, and then refused to give you any basic information like why he was here at all or what your expectations should be for his partnership? Christ, he was even worse than the other heroes you’d worked with. They, at least, had pretended at being friendly when stepping in to work with you. Shinsou was something else completely.

You felt your hand curl into a fist under your desk. “Fine then, let me guess. You're an emitter type -- astounding levels of absolute bullshit.”

He let out a surprised laugh and leaned forward, like you’d suddenly sparked his interest. “You’ve got quite the set of claws for such a little kitten.”

You didn’t know how it was possible to be getting this angry, but it was happening. “Then I suggest you work with me here, if you don’t want to get stuck with them, Shinsou.”

His eyes darkened and he considered you for a long moment. There was that gentle brush in your thoughts again, like you'd forgotten something, and your brow wrinkled. Before you could focus on it, however, the feeling was gone, and Shinsou was slowly leaning back in his chair. “Oh, I’ll work with you, kitten, but you’re not going to like what I have to say.”

“Try me,” you ground out.

“I’m here on behalf of the Commission,” he said firmly, “and my reasons for being here, my background, and my quirk are all information that is well above your security clearance. I work for the Commission, not you or your captain, and I will not be answering to you, operating on your orders, or sharing any information just because you think you deserve to know it.”

You stared at him. You could feel the little half moons your nails were leaving in your own skin but you couldn’t unclench your fist.

"You seem to think that heroes do nothing but stand around until they can grab the credit, which makes me think that you will try to hide elements of this case from me. I'll tell you just this once that you will cooperate with me to the best of your ability, or I will make sure you are taken off this case entirely," he said.

“Great,” you said, gritting your teeth. “Glad that I have a partner who I can know nothing about, can’t ask questions of, and can’t trust to give me the same courtesy I have to give them. I can’t think of any partnership set up for more success than this one.”

A wry smile curled the edge of his mouth. “Good. Glad we’re on the same page, then.”

You glared at him over the top of your files but he just stared back, unaffected.

Eventually you gave up, huffing, and shoved a file at him. “Fucking fine. We’ll start here. I’ll walk you through my theories and then you can read over the case files for the details.”

Shinsou took the folder from you in a slender, long-fingered hand. “Generous of you, kitten.”

You fixed him with a baleful gaze. “Don’t call me that.”

He said nothing, but the look on his face told you that you might as well be speaking to a brick wall for all the good it was going to do. He flipped open the cover of the folder and gave it a cursory inspection.

You rolled your eyes. Fine.

“We think it’s some kind of mind quirk,” you said, pointing to a line in the folder. “Either that or a team including some time-based quirk. The details are light, however, as no one can remember what’s happened to them in the time they’ve lost. The suicides make me think that even if there’s a time freeze quirk involved, there’s somebody else with some amount of mental manipulation in on the operation, since none of the people who died had anything other than self-imposed wounds.”

Shinsou nodded, his eyes skimming the page. “A lot of mind quirks could influence memory in different ways.”

You inclined your head in agreement. “I’ve been trying to track down people with mind-related quirks to see which types could be involved, but the courts are impossible to get around. I only have data on like twenty people who’ve previously been in trouble with the law, and none of them seem related to this case.”

Shinsou hummed low in his throat. “Why don’t you walk me through the details of each of the break ins, and then we can talk about what other avenues we might be able to take.”

You nodded again, and launched into an explanation. Over the next few hours you talked him through both the museum and the bank robberies, meticulously detailing all of the timelines, the victims, key witnesses, and locations. You covered all of the floor plans, the CCTV footage, the documents you’d collected, and the crime scene photos. Shinsou listened attentively and--surprisingly--asked intelligent follow up questions, your conversation taking you deep into the evening until your shift was almost over.

Eventually, Shinsou’s phone vibrated, and the rustle of the other investigators’ jackets brought you out of your bubble.

Shinsou stood, glancing at his phone. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, then, kitten,” he said.

You eyed him sourly, bad mood returning. “If my prayers go unanswered, then yes.”

He chuckled and pocketed his cell, lifting a vague hand at you in farewell. Then he was out the door, leaving you to stare after him in resentment.

Aya popped up at your elbow as soon as he'd gone, letting out a low whistle. “Who was that, Y/N? He was pretty cute.”

You scoffed, turning to your desk to gather up your things to head out to the train. “If you think demons plumbed from the depths of hell are cute, then sure. He's going to be hell to work with.”

Aya laughed, giving you a conspiratorial look. “I don’t know. I’d let him plumb my depths, if he wanted.”

You choked, and Aya chuckled again before waving herself off. “You should think about yours as well,” she called as she disappeared through the doorway. Her cackle echoed down the hall behind her.

You gawked after her, headache finally settling in behind your eyelids.

This was going to be a very, very long case.