Devotion
Self Aware! Yandere! Leon Kennedy × Player! Reader
Leon S. Kennedy was never a religious guy, never has he sought out God even during his darkest days. So when he first felt the pull when he entered the gas station, he thought nothing of it, disregarding it as his hangover (idk how it works I have never been drunk!!!) or just his curiousity. But that curiousity turns into fear when he sees the policeman getting devoured by another person. Rushing out the store he bumps into Claire, whom he pulled to safety towards the police car close to them.
The next time he felt the pull is when he got separated from Claire. With a blurry vision and a skull splitting headache, his body moves to an alleyway he doesn't recognize but somehow comes out a block from the station, it's looming form attracting Leon's eyes. Quickly he rushes to it's gates, doging and turning away from the people that tried to bite him. He is successful in this endeavour and rushes to lock the gate, blockading the front doors after entering the station. After that, it's been a constant tug of war with that pull wanting Leon to go somewhere and him trying to go against it, ultimately succumbing to it since no matter what he does his body won't listen to his mind. All of his constant rejection came to a stop when after Marvin saved him from getting mauled by a person-- no, zombie, not matter how much Leon tries to deny it they are now flesh eating zombies, not the humans he thinks they are. Before he could go into a panic attack with the reality of what is happening, the sudden vulnerability comes a warmth that almost made him pass out. God, a diety, or whatever the thing watching over him is, he could could feel it, he could feel YOU. He thinks of himself as stupid as he realizes that all that constant pulling was you trying to steer him away from danger. The warmth around him becomes hotter and hotter as he thinks more about what you've done for him to keep him safe, a shiver runs down his spine not from the cold but the intense emotion of devotion that overwhelms him. He doubles over in pleasure, his mind clouding with thoughts of you. Kneeling before Marvin sudden tears stream down his face, one would think of him as crying in fear, but his smile and the feverous blush on his cheeks hidden by his hair suggests otherwise.
He might not have sought God on his own but the deity watching over him definitely has, and he intends to keep that attention on him, and him only.
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Extra:
You: *Pauses the game*
Leon: *Has a mental crisis of how he can't feel your warmth, crying bc you abandoned him, did he do something wrong? Do you hate him now???*
You: *Comes back and unpauses the game*
Leon: :D
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building off of this post, people love to say that “trans men want to keep going into in women’s spaces after they transition because they just want to have the best of both worlds!” but in my experience, there are four main reasons that a trans man might use a “women’s space” after they transition:
it’s an important resource that’s being arbitrarily gendered and we need to use it regardless of which gender is “supposed to” be using it.
it’s a public facility where we’d be significantly less safe in the men’s version and we have to choose our safety over our desire to not be misgendered.
it’s a social space that we’ve been in since before we transitioned and we don’t want to suddenly be cut off from our friends and support system.
the trans man in question is multigender and is also a woman, or maintains some other kind of connection to womanhood alongside their manhood.
do any of those sound like “evil men rubbing our dirty little hands together making plans for how we’re going to get male privilege without losing access to women’s spaces” to you? they sure don’t to me!
i think it’s pretty reasonable that we want to transition without losing the ability to access the resources we need, keep ourselves safe, keep up the relationships we’ve built, and express all facets of who we are. all of those are really, like, pretty basic parts of having good life and we shouldn’t be expected to give them up when we transition.
and honestly, if you claim to care about trans people, you should not be so attached to the gendering of these spaces that you’re willing to deny trans men those things for the sake of upholding gender restrictions. anyone who prioritizes the sanctity of gender segregated spaces over the safety, health, and well-being of trans men is a fucking transphobe. (yes, even if you’re trans yourself.)
and that’s what really gets me about all of this — the vehemence with which people are willing to defend those spaces being entirely and inflexibly gendered, despite how enforcement of gendered spaces has hurt trans people time and time again. gendered spaces have literally always been set up in ways that force trans people to break the rules; some trans men might break those rules in ways that don’t make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for us to do so! it just means you might feel weird about it and that’s okay, discomfort won’t kill you.
“but using women’s spaces after transitioning to male defeats the purpose of transitioning! the whole point of transitioning is to be able to live as a man!”
and who are you to tell trans men what the point of our transitions should be? what if the purpose of us transitioning is just to live the happiest and most fulfilled life possible, and forcing ourselves into unsafe spaces or denying ourselves access to important resources or cutting ourselves off from important people in our lives or pushing down the more complex parts of our genders would “defeat the purpose of transitioning” for us? what if being able to go where cis men go is just one part of a much bigger journey, not the end goal?
if you really want to talk about “defeating the purpose,” let’s talk about how policing which gendered spaces trans men can access defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from policing which gendered spaces trans people can access, because it allows the policing of trans people in gendered spaces to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether. let’s talk about how using “evil men invading women’s spaces” rhetoric against trans men defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from using it against trans women, because it allows the rhetoric to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether.
the point of saying “let people decide which gendered space is right for them” isn’t to make sure everyone uses the one aligned with their “true gender,” it’s to let people do what’s best for them without punishing them for their choice. sometimes the best choice is one that seems wrong from the outside, and you need to learn to live with that.
i just think we as a community need to be more hostile toward people who think upholding the sanctity of a gendered space is more important than giving trans people the freedom to move through the world without being punished for existing in those gendered spaces. that kind of thinking is fucking dangerous and it’s weird as hell that some of y’all are so comfortable with it being directed at us.
moral of the story: stop giving so much of a shit about where a trans man decides to piss or see a doctor or hang out or whatever else. even if you think he doesn’t belong there, he probably has a good reason to be there anyway, and that reason is frankly none of your damn business.
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Transcript:
Oh, okay. So let me- let me understand this a bit better.
You had them draw me buying Wonder Bread.
Well, I'd love to see it.
Audio source
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TRY AGAIN LATER
it's like. well. its several things.
(Plutarch's Crassus, trans. Warner)
and also this
(ibid.)
that compliment sounds like an insult, baby.
anyway, there's a fun kind of eroticism in being given everything, in taking things that aren't yours without any real consequence, in climbing towards becoming a Roman Alexander, only for one man to deny you, over and over and over again, at every turn. Sulla tried, Crassus did it better. who would put a butcher in their place? who else knows you well enough to do it? who else can match you step for step like this? doesn't it feel like a kind of intimacy, a kind of—
it's also about the 'even sulla kissed my sword/so you want me on my knees too?' innuendo was too good to pass up. that was actually the first line I wrote, I figured out the rest of this to justify making a comic with it
and finally! the sword line is referencing/playing off of Lucan's Pharsalia a little bit because it fucks hard
(Lucan's Pharsalia, trans. Jane Wilson Joyce)
EDIT: oh, and that's a public domain anatomical illustration of a heart. you know how it is with love and hate.
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