#if you cant tell this is one of my special interests i could talk about this for hours

[bunnyb34r]

AHSGDGDGDGDG my mom just said she didn't know that autistic people knew they were different 😭 ma'am....

We were talking ab masking and how my cousin thinks we BOTH have a nervous laughter tic, but it's just that my brain mirrors people in social interactions and that I'm like "oh she's laughing, smile and laugh too" internally bc I have a hard time reading when something is actually supposed to be funny opposed to me THINKING it's funny and being WRONG.

Like agdgdgdgdgdg yes we KNOW we're different. Obviously not every single autistic person will know/knows yet, but yeah finding that out is a common experience for autistic kids especially. Might not know WHY they're "different" from their peers, but generally it's known that shit isnt lining up the way it should.

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Is 8tracks a good website again, does the music play now

[ravenromanova]

I fucking hate you

Parings: Bucky x Female avenger reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Mean Bucky (only for a little). SMUTTTTT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+! Daddy kink, Metal arm kink, Praise kink, Hate fucking, Breeding kink, Unprotected sex, Oral (m and f), Fingering. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE

Summary: When you and Bucky are forced to have a therapy session after a mission gone wrong you two find another way to let the anger out.

Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!!

~

The sound of the clock ticking mixed with a pen tapping against a notebook drives you insane as you stare at the wall. It’s been thirty minutes of silence with neither you or Bucky daring to speak first. In your eyes this session was pointless. He was the one who fucked up the mission and yet youre paying for it by having a therapy session with him.

The mission was a simple intel mission… or it should’ve been until Bucky went off the rails and got the both of you captured. Luckily you were able to get yourselves freed before anything bad happened. But nevertheless you were told by Fury and Maria that you two needed to fix the issues between you. Honestly you didn’t hate Bucky as much as you led on but he could be such an insufferable asshole sometimes.

He would constantly pick on you like a small child, belittle your powers and abilities, and not to mention he would constantly ditch you during missions. So since he wanted to be an asshole you decided that being a petty bitch would get him to stop… You were very wrong and that just seemed to make it worse for you.

All in all you were completely infatuated with the super soldier but it was clear he had no interest in you. So you kept up the petty bitch act and that just meant the two of you were constantly at war with one another.

“This is a waste of time, It wasnt even my fault the mission got fucked up so im not even sure why im here.” You state crossing your arms looking at Dr.Raynor.

“The reason youre here y/n is so you and James can work through whatever it is going on in hopes that you two start getting along” The older woman says with a slight shake to her head.

“I wouldn’t have a problem with him if he wasnt such a dick” Your words made Bucky whip his head to look at you with a scowl on his face.

“Oh im the asshole? What about you huh? You’re a fucking pest and not to mention the weakest one on the team” He scoffed looking back at raynor.

“THE WEAKEST ONE? The only thing special about you came from a fucking test tube” You retort feeling yourself about to explode from rage.

“Oh so that’s how we are gonna play this?” He asked cocking his head to the side with a smug smile.

“You act like youre tough shit when in all reality take off the arm and take away the serum then what are you? A amputee with a military background.. You aren’t that special” Your words hit a part of him he didn’t know existed anymore.

“Okay enough you two!” Dr.Raynor said before Bucky had the chance to respond. “This is ridiculous! Throwing insults back and forth wont help whatever is going on between you two” She continued and you and Bucky huffed.

“It definitely makes me feel better knowing miss priss over here gets knocked down a few pegs” He mumbles under his breath.

“Okay that’s it! I’m fucking done. I cant do this shit anymore. You wanna hate me? fine. Guess what? I fucking hate you too” You said standing up abruptly and slamming the door as you exit the room.

Bucky and Dr.Raynor both looked at each other and sighed. “Why cant you just be honest with her?” She asked him making him roll his eyes.

“I dont know what youre talking about” He shakes his head making the older woman groan.

“Dont play dumb James. We both know how you feel about y/n you are just to chicken shit to tell her” She retorts raising her eyebrows at the solider.

“You’re a terrible therapist” He retorts shaking his head at her comment. Yes Bucky was madly in love with you but he didn’t think you’d feel the same after his past and how he’s treated you.

Ever since Bucky had come back from being blipped he found it difficult to readjust to life yet again. So he did what he always did he threw himself into his work. Avenging became the only thing he did day in and day out. He had met you during a meeting when you were introduced as the newest Avenger. You were all bright and bubbly towards everyone even him.

Naturally he avoided you not wanting to taint the sunshine that shined from within. But despite him being a dick to you, you still smiled at him during training, said good morning whenever you saw him in the mornings. You were just always sweet to him for some reason even though he had never shown you kindness. Well that was until six months ago when one day you were just as bitchy to him as he was you.

For some reason that hurt Bucky more than he thought possible. He didn’t think he would miss your sunshiny attitude until it was gone. The two of you started fighting amend arguing over everything for the past six months. The entire team was annoyed by the sudden escalation in you and Bucky’s relationship. Normally he would just be cold to you and that was it. But now you’ve started fighting back which was a surprise to everyone since you were normally so quiet. Bucky missed the ray of sunshine you used to be but he also didn’t want to taint you with his presence.

But nevertheless Bucky kept up his whole thing of messing with you and you started being bitchy right back, which was why the two of you were forced into therapy together.

“Go tell her how you feel James, That’s youre homework for the week” Dr.Raynor said breaking Bucky out of his thoughts.

“And if i dont?” He pushed tilting his head. The woman looked at him then sighed.

“If you dont ill make sure you and Peter are assigned on the same missions for six months” She threatened and Bucky’s eyes widened at the thought of being stuck with parker on missions.

“Okay okay no need to do all that” He said standing up and putting his hands up in defeat. The older woman laughed to herself as she watched Bucky walk out her office.

Bucky had left the office to go and find you but had no luck. He had looked for you in all of your normal spots kitchen, living room, game room, your room but you weren’t there. It wasnt until he decided to check the training room that he had found you. You were at the punching bags hitting them as hard as you could to get out your anger.

“Y/n?” He said softly as he approached you carefully not wanting to startle you. You had turned around to face him with your chest heaving and your face sweaty.

“What Bucky?” Your voice dripped with venom as you spoke. Bucky had ran his hand through his hair sighing a little.

“Look i just wanted to say im sorry” He said and you looked for any hints of sarcasm or anything in his eyes but found none.

“I’m sorry im gonna need you to repeat that” You brought a hand to your ear acting like you didn’t hear him.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole. I never meant to hurt youre feelings doll” Bucky repeated but this time adding in a nickname that made your heart race.

“i-its okay” You stutter out not really fathoming the fact that Bucky is apologizing or that fact that he used a nickname to address you instead of an insult.

“No its not- i-i just dont know how to handle my emotions properly and i took it out on you when i shouldn’t have” His hands didn’t their way to your hips as he speaks. Your eyes go to his wands on your waist and then back up to him.

“It’s okay Bucky i get it” You say as your hands find their way to his shoulders. Bucky’s flesh hand moved to cup your face as he looked into your eyes making you melt. He slowly rubs his thumb against your cheek making you smile and lean into his touch.

“Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?” The question comes out shaky when you speak.

“Because it wasnt until you said that you hated me that i realized i fucked up and treated the one person who has never looked at me like a monster like shit. And i couldn’t stand the thought of you hating me.” He said honestly and for the first time you could see genuine emotion in his eyes.

“And whys that?” You ask stepping a little closer to him with a small smile.

“Because im in love with you” Bucky admits bringing you into a passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss earning a small groan from him. The two of you get so wrapped up in each other you forget to come up for air.

“I-I love you too” You admit after you catch your breath making him smile. Bucky then picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. He then carries you out of the training room and takes you to his.

When he brings you back to his room he lays you down on the bed before getting on top of you. He slots himself between your legs as he brings you in for another heated kiss. You moan into the kiss as you feel his hands roam all over your body. Bucky’s hands find the hem of your shorts and pull them down your thighs not breaking the kiss.

“Please” You whisper against his lips feeling his metal hand graze your dripping core. He sits on his knees and takes off you shirt then bra before sucking on your nipple. You throw your head back in pleasure letting out a moan.

“Oh fuck” Bucky takes his metal hand and finds his way in your panties and starts playing with your clit. “Yes daddy” You whimper breathlessly feeling the cool metal come into contact with your heat.

“Oh you like that kotenok?’ He asks after he releases your nipple with a pop. You nod your head and whisper a ‘Yes’ and start bucking your hips against his hand.

“Please please fuck me” You beg moving your hand down to his clothed crotch.

“So needy” He mocks unbuckling his belt and drops his pants on the floor before taking off his boxers and shirt. Once he’s fully naked in front of you, you cant help but stare at his reddened cock standing at attention for you.

You sit up so you come face to face with the red tip and wrap your hand around the base of his cock. His eyes go wide and his breath catches in his throat when you lick the pre cum off his slit.

“So good” You whisper before you hollow out your cheeks and take him into your mouth. His hands instantly find their way into your hair trying to resist fucking your throat. You tap his thigh letting him know he can use you as he pleases.

Bucky then grips onto your hair tighter and starts to thrust into your throat. “Fuck kotenok” He whines feeling your tongue graze the vein of his cock. You open your throat as much as you can so you can fully take him and sink down to the base of his cock.

“Fuck- i-im gonna cum if you keep doing that” He grunts feeling your throat open and close around him. His thrusts gets sloppy as he feels himself about to finish. He abruptly stops thrusting and pulls himself out of your throat making you whine.

“As much as id love to make you swallow id much rather breed that pretty pussy” Bucky says wiping the drool off your chin making you nod your head. You quickly get on all fours in front of him and wiggle your ass making him smack it.

“Yes daddy” You moan in delight feeling his metal hand come into contact with your soft skin. Bucky smirks and smacks the other cheek making you moan happily.

“You like that baby?” He coos rubbing the red marks he’s left making you shiver.

“Mhm” You nod backing your ass up against his cock. He takes the sign and slowly eases himself into you before bottoming out.

“So tight” He groans pulling out then thrusting back in. You scream in delight feeling his thick cock stretch you out. You weren’t a virgin in the slightest but Bucky had definitely been the biggest you’d ever taken.

“S-So big daddy” The words come out broken as you feel his tip kiss your g-spot.

“You can take it baby. Take daddy’s cock be a good girl and take it so i can fill you up. Would you like that? Do you want me to breed you and make you a mommy?” He asks wrapping his metal arm around your neck bringing you up to get a new angle.

“OH FUCK YES” You scream at the new angle feeling him in a new way. The thought of Bucky breeding you makes your eyes roll back and your brain go fuzzy. “Please-please fill me up daddy” You bed as his thrusts get harder.

“Oh i will kotenok dont worry” He says squeezing his hand a little around your neck. You never thought in a million years you’d have all your fantasies come true but fuck were you loving it.

“G-Gonna cum daddy… can i cum?” The question is choked out making Bucky smile.

“Yes baby cum for me im right behind you” He said and that’s when the coil in your stomach snapped and you came all over him. Feeling your warm walls clench down on him sent him over the edge, and he wrapped his flesh at around your stomach holding you close as he came. Bucky’s thrusts slowed down as he fucked his cum into you ensuring none would leak out.

“Fuck baby” He groaned in your ear giving you kisses up and down your neck and collarbone. “You did so good kotenok” Bucky praised slowly pulling out but still holding you close. Once he pulled out he laid you against the pillows and settled in between your legs again.

“T-Thank you daddy” You said in a fucked out haze trying to catch your breath. Bucky kisses from your chest down to your thighs and then settles his face in front of your pussy. He spreads your wet folds with his flesh hand before leaving a kiss on your clit.

‘Too sensitive daddy-cant-please-“ You protest trying to close your thighs but failing as he holds them apart.

“Just wanna taste you baby” He whispers giving your thigh a kiss. Not trusting your voice you opt your nodding and letting him do what he wants.

He slowly licks a stipe from your hole to clit making you whimper and cry out. Bucky groans at the way you taste and starts eating you like a man starved. His lips wrap around you clit and starts sucking lightly making you claw at his back.

“Yes yes yes” You chant feeling another orgasm about to rip through you. He picks up the pace and starts sloppily eating your pussy making you feel like never before.

“Gonna cum!” You scream arching your back off his bed and gripping the sheets as you finish on his tongue. Bucky groans in satisfaction and licks you clean before bringing you into a messy kiss.

“So fucking good” He praised after he broke the kiss. You smiled at him and feel back against the pillows in a haze. You felt the bed dip and you saw Bucky walk into the bathroom and grab a wet cloth. He came back to the bed and cleaned you up while telling you how good you did.

“You’re so perfect” He whispered in your ear laying down next to you. You crawled over to him and laid your head on his chest looking up at his pretty blue eyes.

“Not too bad yourself” Bucky laughed at your comment bringing you in for a loving kiss. “I could get used to that” You said with a cheeky grin on your face making him roll his eyes in faux annoyance.

“You better because now youre stuck with me” He said giving you a wink. The thought if being ‘stuck’ with him gave you butterflies and make you melt even more into hin.

“I think id be okay with that” You said pretending to think about it making Bucky laugh. He ran his hand through your hair and admired your beauty. In all of his 106 years on this earth he never thought he felt this way about someone. That was until you.. And he’ll be damned if he ever lets you get away again.

~The end~

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other cites

[vampaiaz]

— cant get enough

♱ character: billy hargrove

♱ synposis: things billy would do if he was ur bf, fwb, or anything! but he's a perv like... all the time...

♱ cw: vulgar language use, sexual activity, afab reader

♱ a/n: yippie ANOTHER CHARACTER YAYY and ofc its my fav boy hehehhe hes so mmm I LOVE HIMM can u tell im so excited to write this! oh and request if u want :3

perv billy as your boyfriend that purposefully drops something and makes you pick it up, he then walks right behind you and watches as you show him what panties you’re wearing.

perv billy that loves it when you outloud go “mmm” when eating something.

perv billy that keeps a picture of your face all fucked out and covered in his cum in his wallet.

perv billy that jokes around with his friends, telling them they could all tag team you. he actually hates the idea but just loves seeing people’s reactions to wanting what they can’t have.

perv billy as your fwb that always makes you give him head while he’s driving. he makes sure the windows are down so people get to see how filthy you are.

perv billy as your friend who’s just waiting for the right moment to get you all to himself. whenever he’s over and you go take a shower, he’s stuck in your room rubbing one out.

perv billy as your friend that tells you about the night he spent with a girl, talking about it in GREAT detail. he notices when you squirm, he knows you want to be one of the girls.

perv billy that fondles with your ass even if people are around. he could be talking to tommy and his hand is on you, touching away and he doesn’t care that tommy feels awkward.

perv billy that slaps the tip on your tongue… HHDBDBEHHRHHWHHRHEURHEGHRHE

perv billy that invites you on an ice cream date and buys nothing while he buys you a cone. he just likes to watch you lick all that vanilla ice cream.

perv billy that touched you with your panties on. he’d do it while you’re both in his car on the way somewhere and he’d want you to walk around soaked.

perv billy that gets a mirror just to fuck you in front of it. “that’s it baby, yeah? i’m hitting you right there huh?” BHHEBFJEHRHHE

perv billy as your neighbor that watches you at night. he loves it when you undress, can see all your curves and he finds it adorable when you change into something with lace.

perv older billy as your neighbor that knows he does something to you so he flirts with you, teases you, and touches you gently until you come running to his door for a taste.

perv billy that watches you every time you’re there during his lifeguard shift. the way you move makes the job hard, and it’s not just the job that’s hard right now. (LMFAOOO)

perv billy that stalks you around school. he takes in your interests, your hobbies, and your habits right before he uses them to just get in your pants.

perv billy that has your panties hung by his bedframe so he can sniff your sickly sweet smell.

perv billy that says “you’re not the only one i’ve fucked tonight. oh baby, you’re gonna cry? you’re nothing special. just another pussy i use to get me off.”

[stitchwraith-stingers]

sorry for never shutting up about how people treat hazel but ohh my god shes my fave character atm.... i get to be mad!! she has good enough information that you can play around with headcanons freely

the only moments people wouldve brung up is when dev is in the episode, there was no reason for the episode that showed her tendancy to overthink and be emberassed over small mistakes by wishing a do-over and over again, having to realise that running away from the idea of creating a problem wont help her in the long run JUST so people could go "omg haha dev has a crush on her" i could litterly not tell you what the general concensious on most episodes are because i dont know peoples opinions on them because in general they dont discuss them beyond his scenes

fanart too, ive personally muted the dev and devzel tag and when i look up #hazel wells i want you to guess how many posts i find that arent hidden! spoiler alert its barely any of them, listen im not saying im shocked at the fact The Characters Made As A Duo are drawn as a duo, its whatever and while im not personally a fan in general i really do get the appeal, but you have to admit that at some point it gets really suspicious when the only fanart you can find in one character is only with the more popular one, over 200 fics in the hazel tag on ao3 and theres only 20! without the dev tag! (10 more then when i last checked, crazy! go read fly bird, fly now), and my main problem is is that hazel is shown to be her own person OUTSIDE of their friendship, infact wouldnt you know it shes the protagonist herself! the fact that most aus ive seen are focused on dev/dale/peri is whats most confusing to me, "oh but theyre so interesting to work with"

really! youre telling me you cant think of a fic / au idea on her own? miss "i was going to have a previous godparent who didnt listen to me at all", miss "i am very anxious and i overthink to the point where my desicions", miss "i had an encounter with my evil shadow self when i was a fairy" (shout out to fairy bound au btw, im a big fan), miss "my mom doesnt fully know how to handle children inspite of being a therapist and tells me im handling things mature so i feel like i should be", miss "with the fact that im terrified my friends are making fun of me behind my back, i didnt know how to talk to anyone and a cafetiria made me so overworried and i speak to my rocks could imply the fact that i was outcasted at a young age", miss "my brother who has been my anchor and i has taught me everything i need to know has left me and hes also struggling to adjust to everything and we were insanely close to the point where the reason this whole thing started is because of him", miss "i regularly help my dad hunt a ghost that doesnt exist but it makes him happy", miss "i am litterly friends with the coolest kid in elementary school", miss "my landlords are litterly doomsday preppers and our parents want me to get along with their werido twins", miss "i didnt even hestitate to kill myself if i had to save potatoes for humanity after i pissed off mother nature", miss 'i got called out on projecting my past bonding expiriences on my best friend by some werid demon posessing her body right infront of me' none of that makes you want to think of something about her on her own? not even a spark of an idea? its almost like you guys watched exclusively 6 episodes and watched 5 minutes out of them at most

hazel is very interesting and shows her own struggles, she likes puns and fries and rocks and anime and horror movies (and apparently mushrooms if you count that one scene), she tries to problem solve so that no one is unhappy (patty being alive so winn wasnt upset, trying to get the band and orchestra together, accidently haunting her house and wishing her dads day was extra special, trying to find a dinosaur she spontaniously teleported his own job), she has multiple episodes showing her insecurities and how she tries to hide it so she doesnt look like a bad person, but inspite of it all is a understanding person and a peacemaker and doesnt like arguments, hell shes even such good autism represntation im 99.9% sure it wasnt intentional at all

dont even get me started on the takes ive seen in the finale, listen the finale has alot to be said and it definatly wont be everyones cup of tea (i think them trying to refrence every episode felt so chaotic personally) but regarding people with the ending is still giving me a headache, "she shouldve used her wish on him" that wouldve been so boring and predicable, say what you want on what she actually used it for but i think you guys should realise that for the kid whos regressing back into his bad copium mechanisms should get to face his concequences, 'hes 10 and neglected so thats why he acted like that' and 'she doesnt need to put up with how he treats her and hold his hand and be his personal therapist' can both coexist, people being pissed that she lightheartly agreed that he fucked up when HE admitted it is crazyyy CRAZYYY (also the fact ive seen someone say 'her moms a therapist she shouldve known' ???)

this isnt even touching on "hazels other relationships like her friends and family arent developed enough so thats why ppl dont care that much" while that is a valid critism i have with the show in general i still dont think applys to what im specifically talking about to demonstrate dale has appeared in THREE episodes (four if you want to stretch it), meanwhile hazels parents have appeared more often and im barely seeing them in fanart "but dale has a backstory!" so do those two have a whole episode explaining how they met "b-but dale is interesting as a role as a villain!" the guy is barely a villain [so far atleast], but also is being a therapist and a parascienists already not an interesting enough? are you guys suddenly not able to make as much headcanons expanding apon them as you did with dale? thats the thing that confuses me the most, whats stopping you from giving random information from your head to anyone else?, (i didnt know how to word this point so hopefully this makes sense)

listen im going to say it right now MOST OF THIS IS DEFINATLY UNINTENTIONAL AND NOT EVERYONE IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE but some of u guys might really need to uncover some biases on why you think the black girl should coddle the rich white boy when he wasnt treating her well at the time, if that makes sense

[astra-galaxie]

I DID IT!! Here’s the whole thing copy pasted from Google docs!!

The Player’s general skills and implied personality + some stuff abt them! (as far as i can gather, at least, tell me if i missed smth!)

*Note that these skills do not include case specific stuff (like the time they discovered a new species in Pacific Bay)

-Exceptionally skilled at handling the forensic kit,in S1, Jones had challenged the player to uncrack a code while he recites the alphabet from A, and the player cracked the code just before he hit the letter F. It takes about a few seconds, so that says a lot.

-The player has freaky intuition skills in general. I mean, in quite literally every case, they figure out what evidence is needed, what could count as evidence, and searches through things most would gloss over. Their partners acknowledge this a lot, more in the first cases since they just met.

-Can keep a level head even in high stress or even dangerous situations even when their partners cant, whether its during or after the cases. Jones addressed this after court quite a few times in the first season. Also, the player’s able to calm down whoever thier with or

*Add on, in S4, while facing Cappechi & Finley for the first time, he managed to intimidate Isaac on both occasions, however, the player remained composed enough to be able to file evidence against them.

-Works out. In Good Girls dont die, a case in S1, while Grace tries to convince Martha to calm down, she states that the player has already kicked down the door. Like, kick. The player probably doesnt even have any special gear on them, so either the door is weak or, the more likely theory is that the player got dem legs frfr

-Has quite the memory. Easiest case to get this info from is during S4, in the case Eyes Wide Shut, player and Isaac identify a rice makeup composition on the item, Player can easily recall that 17 cases back, which give or take a few, is about a monthish? That Madam Xiang was wearing it. Mind you, at this stage in case Eyes Wide Shut, the duo had only spoken to Madam Xiang once, and she never mentioned the makeup.

-The Bureau themselves asked for the player to join them, that in itself is already a accomplishment, since the Bureau is like, the elite of the elite in the police world.

-Their temper seems to be much milder, or at least, more controlled. Its more evident with Frank and David (S1) since the chiefs often say the player is much calmer than them, hell, David got in trouble for being too brash and got so many complaints he had to file paperwork.

-They do indeed make mistakes, one of my friends irl kept saying the player was a Mary Sue esque kind, but in S3, they were also led on by the Warren guy after he framed the Guru, and they were kidnapped by Karen in S2. If they were so called ‘Mary Sues’, they’d probably figure out a way to not get captured and be the person whos left unscathed and babied by the team.

-Maybe a similar point, but they have sharp eyes and possibly very good eyesight. In a case with Jonah as a partner in S3 during one of the Additional Investigations, the player spots a tent from afar up a mountain. Not to mention its always them who finds everything lol

-The player is good at calming down their partners or whoever is working with them tbh. Like every time one of their case partners are loosing hope, breaking down, feeling impatient or angry, the player snaps them back to their senses.

-They arent quite up to date with some stuff, or simply put, most likely arent that geeky like Jones is, or probably that interested in acting and stuff, in S4 when Isaac asks them how they have no idea who Dolly Darnell (famous actress) and a famous chess master is. Personally would love to think they’d love to listen to their friends and team talk about certain personal interests of thiers.

-Most definitely has a good physique. In S2, Roxie comments that they fit perfectly into a diving suit, which is typically quite tight, so we can assume their physical health is in good or in its prime, in S7, Ben mentions the player has great reflexes for being able to dodge a chupabara attack.

-Can handle a gun better than the average policeman could, probably. In S4, they got into a gunfight with their team against Capecchi and his men, and the team won, so probably suggests that either the rest did most of the work, or the player is good enough to aim and shoot down a whole bunch of tough ahh men.

-Has better driving skills than Jones

-The chiefs often say the player is a rolemodel of what the rest of the team members should be, often, its Frank and Jones being reprimanded and being compared to the Player.

-Implied to be a pretty sarcastic and humorous person, whenever the person their working with for a case or a suspect makes a unfunny or less than tasteful joke, or just does smth weird in general, they always tell the player to ‘not look at them like that’

*Jones seems to be the one saying this the most, including Frank because he teases the player a lot as well.

-Patient. The cheifs say the player is patient, and im sure having Frank work with them would make their temper flare at leats three times in a single hour if the player wasnt a patient person.

-Knows how to handle and drag themselves + their team out of wallowing after a crisis. In S3, Ripley praises the player for being able to rise up after her ‘death’ so quickly, and solving her ‘death’ as well.

-Thier spice tolerence is off the charts, could bet money that they definitely could eat a few hot peppers and only complain of a bit of bite on their tongue. Even Rita admits their tolerance is higher and she’s tough as hell.

-Reliable adult, probably good or decent with children. They were the adult Matilda came running to (in Grimsborough S1) while her own parents were arguing. Jones said this as well when reprimanding the dad.

-My friend (yes the same one) keeps saying that the player would be homophobic?? What?? At least one of their core team members are gay as hell, cmon bruh

-Is most definately empathic and more adept at handling sensitive cases, whether by sensitive, its a matter of whether the press gets ahold and it could be bad, or its sensitive like family and personal matters get involved. When their partners make a distasteful comment or joke, no matter how mild, the player is implied to have told them off (ahem, Jones, Frank and Roxie)

-Good at undercover work, its shows in S4 during the last district, does the S4 part where they have to break Florence Samuels out with Rose count?

-They solve cases within the day or in a few hours, the latest they’ve ever finished a case was in the evening and then again, the player had only started on it in the afternoon.

-A kind person in general. I mean, for one, if i was a homicide investigator and every time i do an investigation, multiple people want my help?? I’d bail, nuh uh. AND not to mention, its time consuming bc theres always the need for analysis, and with sometimes, personal and professional problems get mixed up halfway.

-They most definitely have the money to live comfortably, they have the money to take James Savage for shopping for a new funeral suit and outfit, and they recieve so much spare cash from suspects during the AI.

-I feel like they probably have a good fashion sense, but on that point, can we talk about their closet size?? They get so many articles of clothing, they would definitely be the kind to overdress on every occasion and still look fabulous.

-I would not be surprised if its end up being revealed that they were a reformed thief or some wild shit like that, how does a rookie officer know how to crack a lock in seconds??

-Do you guys think their banned from being the seeker whenever the office decides to play hide and seek because their so good at finding stuff? Like, the last time they were the seeker they probably caught everyone in less than 30 minutes or some shit

-In addition to that helping people shit, the player’s either just energetic in general or their ass is running on coffee and pure willpower because i CANNOT do what their doing, their partners dont even stay consistent throughout the entire AI, and sometimes, in the official investigation itself

-Player’s a positive influence on the people around them, and this prob my nth time mentioning them, but JONES AND FRANK!! Grace says at the end of S1 that the Player’s influenced them positively a lot, and Karen says that as well abt Player’s influence on Frank.

-More on the energy thing, they work overtime so often im surprised they havent asked for a raise or something (then again, the chiefs probably automatically gave them one anyways, maybe even more)

-Not afraid of them high rankers!! S4 for example, no matter how many times Commisioner Baldwin threatened them, they are not afraid, gives 0 fucks, did not gaf even tho Andrea told them to leave Jazz Town before the hurricane kills them

-Player def got a strong stomach and do not care about getting ther hands dirty, they’ve seen so many dead bodies in the most gruesome settings possible, and they dig through trash every case, they have definitely seen…stuff. Oh yeah, they’ve seen so much raunchy and sexual stuff I don’t think they’d be too fazed anymore.

-Offically, including the S4, S6 and S7 cases, they’ve solved 370 cases in their entire career, including a cold case in S5, maybe indirectly, a few more in S5 due to the Rocket Cow killer being discovered, and a few more side murders due to how many serial killers they’ve arrested, so the victims get justice.

-They get offered or are the ones paying the first round for drinks quite a lot, so I’d assume that either they dont drink at all, or they can hold their alcohol well.

-Has gained fame as both as a detective world wide and citywide, AND in Pacific Bay as a co owner of a movie and had their cases featured in another movie! I’d assume their movies are out by S3 or by S5.

-Magic hands, anything damaged can get so well repaired its like it was never broken, or the partners and the suspects are just trying to make the player not feel bad lol

-They seem to not mind… leftovers, or anything that is edible but looks or taste unappealing… I mean, if we get a burger everytime a prisoner gives up their prison slop to the player, does that imply they ate it no problemo??

Sidenote: it feels like I’m putting the player on a pedestal at some parts… I assure you I’m not trying to 🥲🥲

Sorry, it took so long for me to answer this! I FINALLY found the time to sit down, read and react to it!

And to start this off: HOLY SHIT!😲 (I mean this in the best way possible!)

(Live footage of me giving this post as much love as possible. Yes, I am secretly an alien gremlin!😉)

I'm going to try to go through each section at a time, so prepare for a long post!

-Sometimes, I wonder if anyone else has training when it comes to the forensic kit... I remember Jack claiming to be a pro at the vacuum tool, but we NEVER see him use it! Or any of our partners, for that matter!🙄

-It wouldn't surprise me if the player was psychic! Or at least partly! I don't think I've seen anyone make a psychic player OC yet, but it would be an interesting concept!

-After everything the player has seen, even just in the first season alone, it's no surprise they know how to keep their cool!

(At least Isaac got more confident at dealing with Finley! Though we can't blame him for being scared of Mad Dog!)

-Kicking down a door is no easy task! (Not that I've ever tried it.) So the player must try to keep themself in shape! And clearly, they don't skip leg day!🦾🦿

-I wish I had the player's memory sometimes... My working memory is slowly going downhill! And yeah, remembering something as minor as someone wearing rice makeup from months ago is impressive! Esapiclly considering everything that's happened between the cases!

-I have the theory that if CC had continued, we would have been recruited into the GIA or another secret spy agency like we were for the Bureau! After all, their resume would be as impressive as it is long!

-Some characters could learn from the player and their ability to control their temper... (*cough* Frank *cough*)

-I can see where your friend got the "Mary Sue" idea from. The player is constantly being praised for their work, but they still make mistakes and learn from them, like you said!

-Forget 20/20 vision; the player has the best eyes in the world! They must be the champion in Eye Spy and Hidden Object games!

-If the player ever decided to change careers, they could be a therapist! Or an anger management coach!

-With how busy the player is, it's unsurprising they don't have time to be up-to-date with some things...

As for the S4 thing, I like the idea of the player being from away and not knowing about Concordian celebrities, unlike their partners!

-In conjunction with the strength one, the player must take care of themself by eating well (ignoring all the free hamburgers they get...) and staying active!

-I think it's stated that the team worked together to defeat Capecchi and his men, but the player obviously knows how to handle a gun in order to stand their ground against them!

-Well, Jones did crash at least once that we know of, unlike the player...😉

-With how good the player is implied to be, I bet they would win employee of the month every month! Move over, Sponge Bob! We've got a new champ in town!

-Sometimes, I wish we had dialogue options just to see the jokes and witty remarks the player could make!

-The player must have the patience of a saint to put up with some of the people and things they have to deal with!

-For the amount of shit they find themself in, the player knows a thing or two about how to get out of it and drag others out with them!

-Given that Rita looked like she was on fire while eating the salsa, the player either has a steal tongue or no feeling in it to handle eating all that spice!

-I like to think the player is good with children too. After all, almost every time we meet a child in the game, they seem to love the player!

-I can't see how your friend came to the homophobic conclusion either! The player works with several LGBTQ+ teammates and interacts with even more LGBTQ+ characters outside the teams! Are we sure they played the same CC game?

-The player is one of the game's most empathetic people. Even after so much death and pain, they still are. And they know how to stay professional when working on a sensitive case.

-I'd count it as evidence of them being good at undercover work! They're also constantly undercover in S6 and manage to fool nearly everyone they meet!

-I've always wondered about the timeline for solving a case... I swear they finish every case within a shift! I think the only one I canonly recall taking more than a day was Anatomy of Murder when Jones talks about reading his book before bed during chapters 2&1 (I think...).

-The player has a heart of gold, and it's a miracle they still do by the end of the series!✨

-They must be LOADED! But if people keep giving them free money on top of their job income, it's no surprise they probably don't have to worry about money!

-With all the clothes and accessories they get throughout the series, they could have a whole floor in their house dedicated to their closet! Hopefully, they donate anything they no longer want.

-A common theme among OC players is that they always have a secret past! I'm sure someone must have made one with a past as a thief or something to help explain how they're so good at picking locks!

-Agreed. They are only allowed to participate in hide-and-go-seek by being the timekeeper.

-The player must live off of coffee, energy drinks, or SOMETHING to be so energetic! I know I wouldn't be so excited to do extra work by helping people after solving a murder! I hope they get extended vacations to make it even!

-Player, spreading positivity wherever they go!✨

-They better get paid WELL for everything they do for their job, teammates, cities and citizens!

-They've got nerves of steel and the bravery of a god to stand up against so much higher authority! They've even talked back to royalty before, too!

-For how often they search through the trash, they either have no sense of smell or the strongest stomach in the world!

-The player's case record is unbeatable! And they solved all those cases in under a decade, according to the undefined timeline!

-I think the drink thing stopped after S2 (or at least I don't remember it happening as much after that season), but they are still often invited for drinks one way or another!

-I'll never know how they weren't recognized in S7, given how famous they are! For changing to such a secret job when they joined the supernatural hunters, it's a surprise they weren't recognized! Especially considering we run into past characters!🤔

-The player is probably the first person people go to after breaking something! We'll never know how they manage to fix things so perfectly! Unless they really ARE magic!🤔

-The player never does say no to free food... Even when they really should! How they never got food poisoning (Jones flashback intensify) will remain a mystery!

-Don't worry; other characters put the player on a pedestal for us!😉

Phew! That was a workout! Hopefully, we didn't lose you guys!😅

I can tell you put a lot of work into this, so let me be the first to say good job!🥳✨

NOW TAKE A BREAK! You deserve it after creating this doc!

You captured a lot of the player's traits and successes! And I look forward to seeing what others think about your analysis! And if there's anything they think should be added! After all, it is always helpful to have some extra input!😊

[f2e5b1]

bitter orange — okkotsu yūta [1/3]

pairings. okkotsu yūta + f! reader/original character (main); past!orimito rika + f!reader; past!okkotsu yūta + orimito rika warnings/themes. mentions of death, jealousy, hints of obsession and possession. just a lil dark romance practice (which is barely any dark romance tbh who am i kidding) sprinkled with food motifs but i dont know what im doing im just here for the vibes :P mostly sfw with nsfw themes but nothing sexual bc im too scared to go down that dark path (also no use of y/n bc i started writing with an original name and it unfortunately stuck lawl... can be treated as either or it doesnt matter tbh i cant write anything outside of 2nd person anwyay) word count. 2.8k words nothing too crazy xd playlist. knuckle velvet by ethel cain; velvet ring by big thief; pure by cigarettes after sex; only in the dreams by the marias; be my mistake by the 1975; mary by alex g

it’s been a long time since i have seen my beloved. the moss has grown on that abetachibana tree

PART ONE: ichigo daifuku

Gojō Satoru tells you that love is the most twisted curse of them all.

He had said it in passing after your first solo mission, right as you were entering the car back to Jujutsu Tech before talking your ear off with his lame jokes. The mission had consisted of exorcizing a curse that had persistently haunted an abandoned apartment complex in Omotesandō, assigned to you by the higher-ups in accordance with your newly promoted rank as a Grade 2 sorcerer, having decided that a Grade 1 was doable enough for someone of your caliber. The curse itself wasn’t anything special, though, only repeating gargled confessions of its love to some ‘Chiyo-chan’—whoever she was—the whole time you were dodging its attacks, which was incredibly annoying. You liked your battles in silence, quick and succinct, but curses make that difficult to achieve.

Gojō muses it could have been a past lover, this Chiyo-chan—its love for her having cursed itself. You didn’t really care. If you keep up the good work, complete your required missions and get another recommendation, you could be ranked a Semi-Grade 1 by your second year, then a Grade 1 by your third and nothing else after that because unless you were someone like Gojō Satoru, then you are capped forever at Grade 1.

“So anyway—snacks you like?” said sorcerer asks, finally done with his previous tale. Something about an old coworker. “Mochi, senbei, or taiyaki? Personally, I'm a mochi ice cream type of guy!”

You look at him.

“Why are you here again?”

“... Is your memory that small, Ume? I was proctoring you,” he tuts, mouth turned downwards. “Congrats on the promotion, by the way.”

You shrug. “Ichigo daifuku is good, I guess.”

He smiles, wryly.

“You’re joking, right?”

+

The building facing your childhood home had been home to Orimito Rika, an unsuspecting property with a decent front yard and the occasional street cat or two often shooed away by her irate grandmother. “Mean granny,” you’d often call her, the insult drowned out by your hushed giggles as you played with your dolls. Rika wouldn’t say anything about it, wouldn’t dare verbally agree with you, but she would always nod her head down, the corners of her lips turned up too high.

You didn’t particularly hate the old woman, but there was a certain kind of satisfaction to saying it behind her back after all the times you’ve caught her looking at her granddaughter in unbridled scorn, your own little form of revenge. You could never understand how her only remaining family could look at her like that, not when Rika was so beautiful and kind; like the cherry blossoms during spring, falling gently along with the wind. Sure, she could be a little cunning at times, and none of the other kids at school liked her because “something’s odd about her, can’t you just hang out with us instead?”—but that’s what makes her interesting, right?

Rika isn’t weird, she’s pretty, and you’re the bee drawn to her. She’s only older than you by a year, ten instead of nine, but she always played with you, taught you how to make flower crowns at the park, and when you walked home from school she’d always hold your hand. Her smile is blindingly bright, the sound of her voice a song you couldn’t stop listening to. Selfishly, you wish it would always be the two of you together; playing with your dolls, walking home with your hands intertwined.

But when she came back from the hospital, so did Okkotsu Yūta.

You could never see what she saw in him; he was short and just a little bit pathetic, always trailing after her like a lost puppy at first. You could push him off the swing and he'd move on with a sniffle, the kind to give up the plastic shovel even though he desperately needed it to finish his sand castle because he didn’t want to fight a girl. He smiled shyly and hid his hands behind his back, looking at you like he was looking for your approval. Of course, you never gave him the time of day, because it felt like he had stolen Rika—your Rika. It was supposed to be just you and her, but that wasn’t the case anymore. Now there was Okkotsu Yūta, who held Rika’s other hand after school, who took away her attention from you so easily.

“He’s so cute, isn’t he?” she asks often, a light blush dusting her face.

“I guess,” is your reply.

“Ne,” she calls, presenting to you a small, black box. You look at it in apprehension, wincing when she eventually opens it. “What do you think of this ring? It was my mom’s. I’m gonna give this to Yūta-kun, do you think he’ll like it?”

The ring was immensely simple, a silver-colored band with a small diamond in front, glinting under the light. Nevermind the fact that it was too big for a child’s fingers to fit in, Rika presented it to you as if it held all the answers to the world. Although her parents were dead, and she had definitely stolen it from her grandmother’s dresser, the ring spoke full of promise. When she takes it out of the box and lets you inspect it, it feels heavy.

“... You really like him, don’t you, Rika-chan?” you ask, quietly.

Rika looks at the stupid piece of jewelry, painfully smitten.

“Mhm,” she affirms. “I really like Yūta-kun. I want to be with him forever! Of course, I like you too, Ume-chan. You and Yūta-kun are my favorite people in the world!”

You close the box, handing it back to her. When Rika looks at you expectantly, you realize then that you could never bring yourself to take that happiness away from her.

+

The koinobori flies.

“It’s so pretty!” Rika exclaims, eyes wide and staring up at the sky where the huge, windsock carp moves around. It’s bathed in all sorts of colors—from red to blue to white to green—dancing along the azure expanse in commemoration of Children’s Day. The weather is just right, not too hot nor too cold, and the wind caresses your skin gently, the sun not too harsh. It makes the color of Rika’s hair shine in all the right ways, adds more sparkle in her already bright eyes. She’s wearing a yellow sundress, a nice change from her usual blue one. The cream-colored hat you let her borrow covers her face with the shade, but her smile remains bright and blinding. She looks pretty.

She gives you all of her ichigo daifuku, and shares Yūta’s snacks. She doesn’t even like chimaki.

“Are you sure, Rika-chan?” you ask, looking at the two sweets in your hands.

She beams. “You like them, don’t you?”

You keep them with you until the end of the event.

The day passes by incredibly fast, your little trio having exhausted yourselves from running around the park alongside the other children. Yūta chases Rika around the park, and you watch them squeal and laugh at each other and hold hands. You watch them take a nap under the shade, their pinkies intertwined, and you watch as the ugly color of green blinds your eyesight. You leave them be.

Sometimes, you wish you’re the colorful koinobori flying in the sky. You’d let Rika hold on to you, let her fly and hear her amused laugh as the wind tickles her skin. Sometimes, you wish Yūta slapped the ring away from her hands when she handed it to him. Wish he stomped it on the ground and at the same time stomped on her heart. Wish he didn’t take it with a huge smile and agree that he’d marry her when they get older; he’s not the one who’d wait long lines just to get her the best ichigo daifuku, not the one who’d jump at the other kids when they so much as think of insulting her, and he won’t be the one who’d choose to stay with her when she’s all gray and old cause he’s a boy, and boys would never do that.

Sometimes, you wish he never liked her at all—because he never deserved her in the first place.

Okkotsu Yūta could never love Orimito Rika like you.

+

He sits beside you at lunch.

Rika’s been bedridden for the whole week, which subsequently ruins your week. Yūta doesn’t seem to mind her absence all that much since he doesn’t see her a lot during classes anyway, but they’re supposed to be engaged. He should always be thinking of her, should be acting as miserable as you even at the unripe age of nine. He looks too okay with her absence when he shouldn’t be.

“What’s this?” you ask, pointing at the small bag of snacks he had placed on the cover of your bento.

“Hm?” he looks up. “Oh, it’s norimaki senbei.”

“... And?” you prod.

He tilts his head. “You don’t want it?”

“... I don’t want it.”

He looks at you thoughtfully.

“But you like them, don’t you?” he asks though he’s acting like he already knows, like you’ll take it regardless of what you say. It’s annoying.

You look at the seaweed-wrapped rice crackers—the stupid norimaki senbei—in mild contempt. “Why are you giving it to me?”

Yūta’s smile is small, knowing. “Because you don’t like sweets.”

You frown.

+

She’s a sweet girl.

You think of Orimoto Rika like that because it’s true—she smiles sweetly, she speaks sweetly, and she likes sweet things. She tells you that her favorite snack is ichigo daifuku, the very same confection you always begged your parents to buy for you just so you could share them with her. It pays off all the time because then she’d look as sweet as the daifuku itself, her cheeks as red as the fruit within it. She also likes hanami dango, but she doesn’t like the green part because she doesn’t really like the subtle taste of yomogi, so you eat the rest for her because she doesn’t want to waste it. She likes cold tea instead of hot, sweet instead of savory, like yuzu iced tea or bubbly ramune in comparison to the nutty taste of hōjicha. When you go to the store, she always gets the kompeitō with some random anime character on the packaging because those were the “cutest kind of kompeitō,” and Rika likes cute things.

She also likes the color pink, but when you ask her what her favorite color is she’d say it’s blue. It’s blue not because she wears that blue dress all the time, but blue because it’s the color of Okkotsu Yūta’s eyes, bright and round and always looking at her. Rika likes it that way—she likes how Okkotsu Yūta is always looking at her with his blue eyes, unwavering and full of adoration for her and her only.

You think Orimito Rika is a sweet girl, but sometimes she’s more than that. Sometimes, when the other kids get brave enough to drag you away from her, tell you to stop hanging out with her, they say it’s because Rika doesn’t like anyone else but Okkotsu Yūta.

Sometimes, when they tell you that, you wonder if Rika liked you at all, way before Okkotsu Yūta came into the picture.

But most of the time, you don’t really care. Even if Rika didn’t like you, you’d still like her. Even if she’d only have her eyes set on Okkotsu Yūta with his stupid blue eyes and his stupid norimaki senbei and stupid chimaki that he shared with her on the fifth of May, you’d still like her because she’s Rika—beautiful, kind, and wonderful Rika.

She has things she doesn’t like, too, such as other people but never Yūta-kun or Ume-chan! She likes it when people compliment her and praise her looks and give her free stuff like ramune or ichigo daifuku or Sailor Moon-themed kompeitō from the store, but sometimes she tells you that she dislikes this certain group of girls from Yūta’s class, dislikes the boy assigned as your seatmate, her homeroom teacher, the “weird” guy who works at the konbini a street over, and dislikes it even more when her grandmother looks at her and tells her she killed her own father without even saying anything at all.

You know all those things because you know Orimito Rika. You like her even if she holds intense dislike for the people outside her circle, people who tick her off just a little for you to see her smile crack at the edges and go stiff, the little twitch of her brown eyes, and most importantly, you still like her when all she wants in the world is the attention of the boy who wears her deceased mother’s ring.

You’ll always want sweet girls like her.

+

“Where’s Rika-chan?”

“Her grandma won’t let her go out today,” Yūta says, sitting next to you on the bench. “So it’s just you and me.”

He says it dejectedly, but it’s not enough for you. If he was really sad, then he’d be as sad as you are, so you start packing your belongings. “I’m leaving, then.”

He startles, standing up. “Huh? W–wait! Don’t leave just yet!”

“But Rika-chan’s not here,” you frown. “There’s no point in hanging out today.”

He falters, looking down at the ground.

“Even if she isn’t here, we can still play together…” he offers, looking up at you timidly. “We’re friends, too, aren’t we?”

The green-eyed monster stares at the silver chain wrapped around his neck, the ring acting as its pendant tucked underneath his shirt—like an unattainable treasure trapped inside a chest with the key thrown away somewhere you cannot find it. We’re not friends, the monster says with a snarl, stay away from me.

If there is one thing you know, then it’s that you have never wanted to be friends with Okkotsu Yūta, not after he took everything from you. He can butter you up by sticking to you during class and sitting next to you at lunch and even offering you some of his not-ichigo daifuku, not-yuzu iced tea, and not-colorful anime-themed kompeitō but you will and have never liked him for the green-eyed monster will always sit on your shoulder so long as he wears that ring on his person, a physical manifestation of his promise with Rika. Your Rika, even if that’s not really the case.

You will never like Okkotsu Yūta, because—because he—

“... What’re we even gonna do?” you ask, slowly.

He immediately brightens up.

“… Wanna get ice cream?” he offers. “There’s a new flavor I wanna try!”

His suggestion does not entice you at all, but when he stands there with an outstretched hand waiting for you to take it, like it’ll matter if you reject him, you find yourself at a crossroads. But you make your decision soon enough. Like it’ll matter, like the green-eyed monster isn’t there, staring.

“Okay,” you say, moving past him to start walking. He blinks incredulously at the blatant rejection before gathering himself and following after you, a prep to his step regardless of your actions.

You try to ignore the warmth of his body next to yours.

He’s too close.

+

“Yūta-kun’s birthday is in a few days,” Rika announces, lying on your spare futon. “Did you get him anything?”

You didn’t. “... Yeah.”

“Really? What is it?” she cranes her neck to face you. “What’d you get him?”

She doesn’t want your gift being better than hers, it checks out. “Um… just a toy. A garbage truck.”

“Oh, okay,” she turns back to face the ceiling. “I made him a scrapbook with photos of us. I worked really hard on it… do you think he’ll like it?”

“He’ll like anything you give him.”

She’s already given him a ring—what else could compare to that?

Rika smiles. “I guess… you’re right.”

Soon enough, she goes to sleep, breathing softly beside you as your fan fills the silence of the night. You continue staring at the ceiling, making out the little dents despite the lack of light. You squeeze the hand that holds your under the cover, before closing your eyes.

You hear her softly breathe on a steady beat alongside the fan whirring in the corner, and you close your eyes, squeezing her hand tighter underneath the covers of your too-close futon.

You’ll have to ask your parents for some money tomorrow.

+

“Rika-chan isn’t here again,” Yūta says dejectedly. “Her granny’s too strict.”

“She hates her,” you say quietly.

Yūta looks at you, confused. “What’d you say?”

“Nothing. Your birthday’s coming up soon, what are you doing that day?”

“Uwah—you remember?”

“Rika-chan told me.”

“Oh, well,” he smiles sheepishly, “we have school that day, but after that I’ll be celebrating at my house. I’m thinking of just inviting Rika-chan and you over… um, so, will you come?”

“I’ll go if Rika-chan is going.”

He blinks, before a smile blooms on his face. “Okay! I’ll see you, then.”

+

It happens when you aren't there.

It never should have happened at all.

Orimito Rika is pronounced dead at the age of eleven, her body unrecognizable under the heavy weight of a blue truck.

next

[excalibur-gone-missing]

Paring: Dino x fem!reader

Requested: no

Genre: angst, fluff

Warning(s): cheating, angst, sadness, mentions of pregnancy (do inform me if there's more)

Summary: You were the light guiding Chan for the most of his life. now that you are not there anymore, he cant help but feel your absence as he reminisces his past and all those times you were there to ground him no matter what.

Word count: 6k

Other works

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

special thanks to @spamgyu for helping me out 😭

a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask.

[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]

Chan's life was determined before he had a chance to consider it. His family wasn't well-off. They struggled from early on to get food on their plates. He knew from when he was a child that he had to support his siblings because his parents refused to do so.

So that’s exactly what he did. He got into SNU with a full scholarship, secured a good job, and built a stable life with six figures coming in annually to his bank account, providing enough money to support his siblings’ dreams.

But what did it all get him?

Nothing!

He sacrificed his teens and his twenties because his father felt the need to be a raging alcoholic, and now he stands in the middle of Gangnam in his beautiful flat with its polished floors. But he lacks the most important thing in life: happiness.

To be truthful, he lacks a lot of things, but happiness takes the cake. If someone asks him, he lacks friends too. But our dearest Boo Seungkwan would like to disagree about that. In Chan’s defense, friends are absolutely not equal to friend (just a difference of ‘s’, as our dear ‘Kwanie’ said. Plus, his multiple personalities make up for the said lack of ’s’, which further raises the question as to why the man does not go for a checkup, as it seems he has self-diagnosed DID. We shall never know).

Chan is happy about his brothers doing what they like, though. It’s not that hard to not be happy when he literally raised them. Sacrifices need to be made, he has realized; some just make more than others, and there is nothing one can do about that. He accepts that he is indeed grateful for the friend he has made, the one who has stayed with him and accepted him as he is.

Now, it may sound sappy, and Chan swears he will never tell this to Seungkwan, but he has indeed helped him through the thick and thin of life. All those late-night drinking sessions and ugly crying have brought him to this stage in life where he thinks of the boy as more of a family than anyone else. He helped him when Chan’s life was falling apart, and he also was there to scold him back to the right track when no one believed in him, not even himself.

Although he lacks happiness, he is fine with that (he at least has Boo Seungkwan). He can live with being sad; he already has!

This is where you came in, the reason for Chan’s genuine smiles, from back in college to five years ago. It was a pretty serious relationship that you both had. Chan loved you. He had plans of making you his wife. For God’s sake, he was in a relationship with you for almost ten years! But somewhere along the way, he messed up. He became the exact thing he had hated all his life.

He became a person like his father.

You, being the nice kind, tried your best to stop him from spiraling down the rabbit hole of bad habits. But alas, it takes two to tango, and if he didn’t want to be better, no one, not even God himself, could do it for him.

It took losing you to realize how messed up his life had become.

--

“Chan, I’m heading out. Dinner’s in the fridge—please actually eat it this time. We don’t need two meal skippers in this household,” you quipped, watching as Chan chuckled and gave you a quick giggle inducing peck before returned his attention to the document he’d been typing for the past hour.

“Sure thing, Your Majesty. Your command shall be dutifully followed!” he exclaimed with a mock salute, drawing out another laugh from you. With a playful ruffle of his hair and another peck on his cheek, you left the apartment to begin your night shift at the hospital.

Chan, unlike you, has just started his new job after completing his MBA. It’s been tough, but he’s persevered, and soon enough, you both will be able to enjoy the luxuries he could only dream of growing up.

Your fifth anniversary is approaching faster than ever, and now Chan finally has the means to fulfill your dream of a trip to Europe. The pressure of this new job is more than the last one, but getting those tickets would be a walk in the park now.

Quickly finishing his document and mailing it to the head of the department, he immediately goes to check those flight ticket prices and hotel prices. He releases a happy sigh the minute he realizes that it’s exactly what he had expected the prices to be. So, without wasting a single moment, he buys those tickets. He knew this gift would make you happier than ever.

The next month, you had been notified about the expensive purchase only because you had to get a leave from your job, and you obviously can’t disappear for two weeks unannounced. He, in reality, had no plans to inform you about anything, but he couldn’t interfere with your job either.

But at the end it was worth it, the look on your face the minute you were informed about the trip. Oh, if only Chan could frame it and keep it away from the world, only if he could keep you near him and never let you go. But he didn’t think of that then. No, he was happy he had told you earlier.

The happiness radiating off you as you kept going on and on about the clothes you needed to buy, all the foods you were going to try once there. It was what helped him keep going throughout the day, even though the work became tiring with every passing minute.

If only he could have stopped time and lived in that moment forever.

—

One thing he never realized is how demanding his job would be once he got into a higher position. The calls kept him up at night; they came at the most ungodly of times, and Chan was expected to pick them up, because he always did.

You never complained; it was fine by you. If anyone understood him, it was you. Both of you had highly demanding jobs, and nothing could beat the expectations your colleagues had on you both.

But what he had not counted on was those calls interrupting your trip. During the entirety of your anniversary, he was glued to that phone of his, never once able to leave it. It was one problem at the office or the other.

Again, you kept your mouth shut, enjoying your own company as your boyfriend busied himself with work in the hotel room.

That was the last trip you both had gone on. You figured that it was too much to ask from someone who had so much work to do. But still, you understood his hunger to do better in life. You understood that someone had to compromise in the relationship and wholeheartedly accepted that it had to be you.

Coming to think of it, it was not supposed to be like this. Never! Both of you were supposed to communicate and figure out what your relationship was supposed to mean. But somewhere along the line, it just became regular sex and nothing else. When you talked about this with your friends, all of them had the same reaction.

‘Leave him!’ they had told you, ‘he wouldn’t change, he prefers his job more than you.’

It was a regular thing now. But you were scared. All the years you had invested in the relationship, you never wanted it to become what it had. You had held out hope that one day Chan would notice you. He would realize he had a girlfriend who also needs his attention as much as his job.

It didn’t take too long for those dreams to come true, though.

—

One night, you sat down with the man, asking him about the changes in his life. You begged him to look your way beyond the times he made love to you. It was an intense conversation, filled with words that neither of you actually meant, but hurt you both equally.

That night brought you both another few years, or that’s what you think. It became better, both your lives and the relationship. You both would talk more, spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and go about your days with lovesick smiles on your faces. Although none of your jobs became less hectic, it still was as painstaking as ever, but the scenery in your shared home was peaceful. It was both of your comfort zones.

What neither of you realized, this peace that you both had brought back into your lives, was fickle. In order to keep it like that, both of you had to put in some effort.

—

It slowly became visible to both of you how much more effort this relation of yours needed. Both of you saw the way your paradise was crumbling down bit by bit. Nights became lonely for you. Chan, being the perfectionist he is, would be stuck up in his office until the rays of sun hit the glass windows, reminding him of the fact that he indeed had stayed the night in his office. The hectic job took everything away from him. It stripped him of his identity, and slowly it was also stripping his happiness and sanity away. It was like the darker times had hit both of you again.

It was then that he suddenly passed out on the streets due to extreme fatigue and was brought immediately into the nearest hospital, which was the one you worked at. Lo and behold, you were the nurse on emergency room duty that day. This was the first time you saw the love of your life in that state; you saw what this new job had done to him. How it had taken this happy and healthy person you knew and turned him into this sick, unhappy, and overworked person. Your helplessness mocked you in your face. At night, you stayed by his side after the doctors had given their verdict about him being too overworked. You took care of him like never before, making sure to make him take an ample amount of rest.

Sadly, the industry is ruthless. As soon as the employers became aware that their once highly valuable employee’s usefulness had diminished, they ultimately opted to terminate him. Although Chan claims there were some more internal politics involved in this sacking, there was no way he could have evaded it.

Both of you soon realized it was the best thing that could have happened to him. While being the worst experience he could ever go through in his corporate career.

You stayed by his side through every hurdle though. You never once let him feel the need to be more than what he already was. But life was giving both of you a hard time.

It took Chan another month to get a new job. But only this time, it was a better, more important position in a better company. This is when life took off for both of you again. With Chan back on track, equipped with the newfound knowledge of not working more than necessary, he was on a roll. Almost unstoppable.

This change also affected your relationship, but positively this time. Chan and you would go on constant dates and enjoy each other’s company way more than ever.

—

It was nearing your seventh anniversary. Both of you had talked about getting married and starting a family enough times for him to know this was the perfect time for him to propose.

So, on the day of your seventh anniversary, he had planned to take you to this fancy Italian place. He claimed that you deserved only the best. No one could ever argue with him about that. You, along with Seungkwan, had been by his side for so long that he had forgotten the time when he didn’t have you both. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would change that fact. With that it brought him to the most important question of that year.

“But what ring do I buy her?” the stressed boy asked his best friend.

“Wow, I wasn’t informed about the fact that y/n suddenly had become my girlfriend!” Seungkwan exclaimed sassily.

“Dude, you can calm down. She is still my girl, ain’t no way you are getting her. Find a girl of your own,” the shorter boy retorted back.

Why am I being asked about her preference for a ring then, huh?”

“Because she said, and I quote, ‘if you buy me an expensive engagement ring that I can’t even wear out because it looks too expensive, I will castrate you’,” Chan said seriously, bringing out a seal-like laugh from the back of Seungkwan’s throat.

“Do something meaningful for her then, you dumb fuck,” making Chan almost cringe at the scolding. Without letting the boy talk, his best friend continued, “Put in some effort and do something that shows you care, without having to spend a copious amount of money. I have no idea what you should do, but bro, if it were up to me, a girl would for sure get a ring no matter what!”

Now, this made him think. It made him think hard. But even after all that thinking, he couldn’t come up with a good idea for an alternative for an engagement ring.

It was not until the next Saturday when he was sitting on the couch waiting for you to choose a movie for the weekly movie night, did he stumble upon the perfect idea for a ring? Like any usual person, the man was scrolling through TikTok when he found out that one could make rings out of clay.

Perfect!

If you didn’t want a diamond ring, you shall get a clay ring. For you might catch the sun lacking one day, but not Chan, never Chan!

—

This kick-started the learner phase of Chan’s life once again. He would visit the pottery classes every week because he needed to excel at the art to mold the perfect ring. One suitable for daily wear and also because this hobby brought him more peace than ever.

He made some friends here; they were fun to hang out with. You had met all these new people flooding into his life. He would parade about the with his hand on you showing you off proudly.

“Who wouldn’t?” he would ask whenever someone pointed it out. This question had the power to make him start ranting about you at any given point. So much so that after a point, people stopped asking him about you, no matter the context.

Because, oh boy, was he in love.

--

It took him one year and some friendships to finally complete learning everything there was to learn about pottery. In the course of that time, he had littered your shared house with his creations.

Oh, you wanted to buy a new bowl because you saw it on Instagram? No fear, Chan shall make it this instant. Oops, your favorite coffee mug broke? Chan has come to your rescue with a better, scientifically cute, usable, and overall better mug for you.

The creative spark of the boy never dimmed down, nor did his extroverted nature. Every other day, he would be out with his new friends, so much so that even Boo Seungkwan noticed. You both had chats with each other about the changes in Chan’s life over a cup of tea whenever Seungkwan would come over.

To say that you both were happy about him enjoying life would be an understatement. You had seen the pain the man had gone through in his life. It only made sense for him to have the best of the best experiences when he had the opportunities.

But again, as people say, one should do everything in moderation. It seems that Chan could do nothing in moderation. He would work himself half to death. In this case too, he started drinking and partying himself half to death. The outings that were done to unwind after a long hard day became parties that were making the day even longer.

The friends that helped him overcome the pressuring environment of his office became the ones who would pressure him to go way out of his comfort zone, all for the wrong reasons. People say twenties are times when people experiment with their life and gain new experiences.

The same was applicable for Chan too, the only difference being he was learning different ways of spiraling down holes that are hard to climb up from. The hilarious part being, these were the holes that he had carefully dug out himself.

It’s not like you never stopped him, because you did. The minute you realized these new friends were pushing Chan’s limits in the wrong way, you didn’t waste a second to tell him.

“I think you should calm down with this partying and stuff. It’s unbelievably bad for your health,” you had told him one night when he had come home drunk out of his wits.

“I know how to have fun, not my fault you don’t!”

The boy had shouted at you before collapsing on the couch. Realizing it was a waste of time to even try and talk to him in this state, you tried again the next day when he was far more sober.

“Do you remember what happened yesterday?” you ask Chan, to which he shakes his still-hungover head and winces. Sighing, you continue, “Chan, you can’t let them get to you like this. Moderation is the key here. Please don’t overdo anything, I beg you!” You hugged him, trying to coax him to understand where you were coming from. He obviously hugged you back and promised you to keep your advice in mind the next time they asked him out.

He didn’t. He swears he tried to. But the peer pressure got to him. Before he could even back off, they had already hauled his ass to the bar. He never wanted to disappoint you. So he chose to accept the most coherent plan his drunk mind could formulate: the plan to lie to you.

—

Your seventh anniversary had come and gone a year ago. The only gifts he could provide you that day were a fancy dinner and a solid promise that he would indeed get you the greatest ring you will have ever seen in your whole life. Now the time had come. The time to prove his skills. Those skills he spent an entire year honing.

During this cute date at home, he produced a small wooden box from his pocket. After you had enjoyed the homemade meal he had whipped up for you and you both were cuddling on the balcony, he proposed to you with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart.

He shocked you with the ring. Like your relationship, it was delicate, yet made with lots of love and care. You obviously said yes without hesitation. After all, you loved this man, and he loved you too. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever go wrong if he was with you.

--

It seems that no matter how hard you try, life always seems to have other plans for you.

The month right after you accepted his proposal, you received an invitation for a two-year-long workshop in Germany. Such opportunities don’t come every day, so you were elated.

Without wasting any time, you called Chan, informing him about the opportunity you had received. But like every coin, this great opportunity had its drawbacks too.

With the prospect of studying and learning under some of the greatest doctors and nurses came the hardship of leaving your fiancé behind. Chan didn’t like this one bit. He could barely stand to be away from you for a second, let alone two years.

But seeing the excitement on your face and hearing the joy in your voice, he couldn’t bring himself to ask you to stay back. He knew you had sacrificed a lot for him, compromised at times when you could have been happy if he hadn’t made decisions that ruined his life.

--

So he put on a happy smile and told you that if you didn’t take this opportunity, he would pack your bags himself and kick you out of the house. This assurance gave you the confidence you needed. Without wasting any time, you sent an email accepting the proposition to join the workshop.

The next five months passed in a whim. During this time, he had asked you to marry him before you went away, but with a peaceful and determined smile, you had told him, “I will marry you once I come back, like that, we won’t have to spend too much time as newlyweds. Plus, I will be smarter than you too.”

“You are always smarter than me. I can never surpass you,” was the answer you had received, along with a sweet kiss, making your heart swell like a balloon.

Life was starting to feel better again.

Chan had finally made his boundaries very clear. The boy felt extremely guilty for lying to you, though he never confessed to you about doing so. He made sure his actions proved his redemption. He ensured to let these new friends of his know that going out too much with them was affecting him in ways that he didn’t appreciate. Although they did sometimes win against him and force him to go out, it was not as bad as it was before.

—

Soon the day came when you had to fly away to Germany. To say that Chan was sad would be an understatement. He was devastated when he saw you off at the airport with Seungkwan. He had cried the whole way home, making Seungkwan scold him as if he were a baby.

“Now if you keep behaving like this, do you think she would be happy?” the older boy questioned him.

“No, but I miss her already,” Chan replied in a whisper while wiping his tears harshly.

“Be nice, be happy for her. You can talk to her all the time. It’s not the Stone Age,” Seungkwan said with an exasperated sigh, making the younger one stop his sad boy antics at once.

But it was not like Chan was okay. He started working overtime at the office, desperately waiting for you to call him when you got free. And call you did, religiously at six o’clock in the evening.

You both made the decision to talk at that time, regardless of any circumstances. This went on for six months. He tried his best to follow the routine of overworking himself before you would call and save him from killing himself with work.

But with all these works, his willpower also started to crumble down. The old ways came back to him. Before he realized it, he became a party animal. He made new friends at these clubs and bars he started frequenting. He thought you wouldn’t pick up. But you did. You saw how your boyfriend was slowly changing. It was not that obvious at first, but slowly you realized he was getting drowned with work.

Being the lovely girlfriend you were, you asked Seungkwan to take care of him. The boy tried his best to do so. But alas, he was not that successful.

It seemed to both of you that Chan had spiraled back into his overworking session. What you both were unaware of was that it was more than that.

Chan was not just overworking; he was over-drinking and over partying too.

—

One faithful night; he met Eva, his pottery class instructor. She was pretty. They talked the whole night, catching up like old buddies and having fun.

She brought a change to his life again. She started being there for him during times when he would lose himself. She was a great friend, so great that in no time you had the chance to meet her.

You had come back for a week’s vacation. Seungkwan thought it was important for all the friends to meet up because it had been a long time since he had seen you. This meeting was supposed to consist of only you, Chan, and Seungkwan. But Chan asked to bring in another friend he would like you to meet. It was Eva.

You liked her; she was nice. You wanted to be friends with her. Her sweet personality was something no one could resist, a great example of a sweetheart through and through.

For once, you were actually proud of your boyfriend’s choices in life. Your visit was over even before it had started. Suddenly, the week was over, and you were packing your bags to return to Germany.

This time, Chan was not as scared of things going downhill anymore. He knew that within a few more months, you would come back, and he could happily start the wedding preparations. He also knew he had a solid group of friends to have his back. Most importantly, he had learned the art of living without you. Not that it was happy, but now he could enjoy spending time by himself.

—

Time flew faster than ever. In no time, it was Chan’s birthday. Your program would finish that same month, so sadly you couldn’t visit him. All you could do was video call him that morning and congratulate him for hitting thirty before you, to which he grumpily replied, “Your birthday is in six months; I’m gonna make it hell for you.”

“Whatever, old man, get dressed. Don’t you have a job to go to?” You laughed at his grumpy face while teasing him even more.

“I miss you,” Chan suddenly called out, pouting.

“You will meet me next month, Channie. Don’t be this sad now.” Although that did make him happy, the thought of spending yet another birthday without you was saddening. But it’s not like it was going to last. You would be back in no time.

That thought put a smile on his face. Soon enough, he was skipping around the house cooking breakfast and answering numerous calls from his friends and family for being a thirty-year-old now.

Seungkwan and Eva had also planned a not-so-surprise party for him. It consisted of meeting in front of his office and dragging his ass to the bar to drink and have fun. Although the day was spent slaving away in front of the computer, that night he had a lot of fun. He talked to Seungkwan and Eva for hours, and the three of them were pretty intoxicated when they left.

The only thing he remembered from that night was the fact that Eva, being the one out of the three with the most alcohol tolerance, was the one who had made sure that all of them returned home safely.

There was just one slight problem. Eva started to avoid him. Now, in any other situation, he would not have noticed it, but the text the next morning asking him if he remembered anything from the night before had him confused. When he asked her what it was all about, she refused to answer him, opting to ignore him instead.

He had no recollection of the night before, and Seungkwan didn’t either, so it was a mystery to both of them. But then again, his gut told him the problem was bigger than what he thought it was and might come to haunt him if not solved now.

So he did the most sane thing he could think of: He asked her to talk to him about it. He knew the wedding preparations would start the minute you came back, so he wanted to make sure to fix any problem that might affect you both before it blasted out of proportion.

—

“You kissed me,” was the first thing Eva told him after sitting down, making Chan’s heart drop to his stomach.

“Huh, but I don’t remember anything,” Chan retorted.

“It’s not about you remembering or not, it really happened, Chan, and I hate it,” she said, her voice almost breaking.

“Hey, calm down. We were both intoxicated, and we didn’t do it on purpose. Any other time and we wouldn’t have done it,” this seemed to have little to no effect on improving the girl’s mood.

On the other hand, Chan’s blood pressure was rising. The last thing he needed was a big mistake from which he could never turn back. With you coming back from Germany in less than a week, he needed everything in his life to be sorted out, especially something that could jeopardize a relationship with so much love in it.

“Chan, I think I like you. I’m not sure when it happened, or how it did. But I like you. So please don’t tell me I wouldn’t have done it if we weren’t intoxicated.”

The impact of this statement was so immense that it completely shattered his world, leaving him in disarray. It was true that he liked Eva. What kind of feelings he actually held for her was a mystery to him.

So, in the spur of the moment, he kissed her.

Just a few minutes ago, it was bothering him, but once he took the step, he didn’t feel what he was supposed to. He didn’t feel the disgust and hatred towards himself he should have. It felt like sneaking out of his house when he was not supposed to. It made a rush of excitement run through his body. He could feel the adrenaline rush through him.

He felt alive. maybe it was the feeling of doing something forbidden or it was something else, he didn’t know.

But, that night, they did more than kissing.

—

Once you were back, it was all sunshine and rainbows in the first few weeks. You both were happy, spending all your time together and having fun relishing in each other’s presence.

But it didn’t take you long to notice the changes. He would be stuck late at the office but come back home surprisingly lively, or those random texts from his brother late at night asking him to come over, or even the most obvious of them all, the vibrant smell of floral perfume that you never wear.

But you held out. You had promised to give him a chance to explain himself if he came clean to you. But that day never came. You asked him about these odd behaviors, but somehow he would always evade the topic altogether.

All those questions of ‘where were you last night’, ‘when will you come home’, or ‘shall we go on a date sometime soon’, all went unanswered.

He outright ignored your presence at home. But this didn’t stop the wedding preparations. Because his siblings and your parents alike loved him, they had taken the responsibility to take care of the wedding plans.

Before he could continue with his little escapades, Seungkwan caught and confronted him. Not by you but by Seungkwan. The older boy’s disappointment was beyond words. He screamed at him for an hour straight and then he had sat Chan down and calmly said,

“Either you tell her or I will.”

“But I can’t; she will leave me if I ever tell her.”

“Then she will be right in doing so.”

“Chan, I love you to death, but either you stop this and tell your girlfriend the whole truth, or I will take matters into my own hands. She has put up with enough of your shit. Don’t hurt her more,” he had said.

“Give me some time; I will do it as soon as possible,” the younger one had strained out, fisting his hair.

“She better know about it all before the wedding,” Seungkwan had warned him before seeing himself out.

—

Chan had cut off Eva after that. He tried to change everything before actually marrying you. Then, being the kind person you are, you tried to understand your boyfriend. You really did. But this was the first time in ten years you considered leaving him.

This relationship didn’t make you happy anymore. But you had gone through so many troubles together. The effort to hold each other upright was taking a toll on you.

But you were a fighter. You had fought many battles with him by your side. You couldn’t give up on those years either. Your internal dilemma was killing you. But all of this came to a halt one day when you had come back from your night shift, only to find your boyfriend and the girl he oh so diligently claimed to be his good friend, talking in the living room.

It was not like they were trying to be quiet because you could hear every single word spoken by them.

“Chan, it’s yours.”

“Eva, I have a fiancé. I will never leave her. I already told you, I love her.”

“Oh, so you didn’t think about that before fucking me”

“It was a mistake”, Chan shouted.

“No, it wasn’t, we both were very sober”, came another shout

The conversation hit you like a truck, and with each sentence, you felt your heart shattering. The decision suddenly seemed a bit too easy to make.

You walked out of the chaos, leaving the ring behind on the shoe rack. That night, you stayed at your friend’s place.

Following that event, you called Seungkwan, informing him that you won’t talk to Chan anymore. He simply asked if you wanted any help moving out, to which you answered with a simple no.

That was the end of the relationship for you. You refused to talk or see Chan ever again.

—

Now, five years later, Chan is to be married again. Not with you; no, he missed his chance. It's with Eva. They figured the best way to raise Minhan was to be together. In a county like theirs, it wasn’t the best idea to raise a kid with two unmarried parents.

Chan loved Minhan to death. But he could never show the same love for Eva. Looking at her reminded him of the mistakes he made in life. It reminded him of the happiness he could have attained, but he lost due to his own faults.

He is happy Seungkwan is still beside him. He knows he doesn’t deserve a friend like him, so the fact that Seungkwan stayed beside him makes him feel grateful.

He knew that his wife and child would move in with him soon, but he didn’t have the courage to let them into the house yet. The house that held both your memories was a bit too precious to let go of so easily.

The next day came faster than he anticipated. As Chan stood there waiting for his bride, he saw a face that he had been longing to see for the last five years.

He saw your face, sitting there on the benches, a sad smile adorning your face. Your eyes filled with emotions and stories of the years you had spent together.

Oh, how badly Chan wanted to abandon everything and run to you. Apologize a hundred times and ask you to take him back. But he couldn’t; he had children to take care of and shoes to fill.

As he stood there saying his vows, hoping it’s you he saw walking down the aisle and it’s you he kissed, but they are called dreams for a reason. And not all dreams come true.

As he kissed his bride, he saw a glimpse of your teary eyes amongst the crowd, and a tear of his own fell. Wishing for a future he was never destined to have.

the end

[unalloyed-thoughts]

Ive been thinking lately about the connections with Miquella and Caria, like you can justify many of these things by just saying Radagon used to be the husband of Rennala, but like at the point Miquella was born that had allready passed and seeing how it affected Rennala i dont see Radagon getting carian stuff delivered to Miquella, i like to think that it could point to a possible connection with Ranni, but that seems like a big assumption ill dive into later. However i would like to point out some of the connections.

The first and biggest one is Loretta, which before going on her quest to find a suitable home for the albinaurics, was a carian knight. Even now an illusion of her safeguards caria manor and the access to Ranni's rise.

Another interesting one is the Miquellan knight sword, which is stated to have been modelled in the image of the carian knight sword, which is interesting. It could just be The haligtree faction taking inspiration from caria, but it could also point to the haligtree and caria working together at some point, which is really cool to think about!

Finally, another connection that i feel is more subtle yet worthwhile to talk about is Ranni's and Miquella's connection to fate and the stars. Ranni's connection to the stars is much more in your face and plays a main role in her story, yet Miquella's association with it is a little bit more subtle. Under a statue of Malenia and Miquella embracing in the altus plateu (a location named "st trina's hideaway" in the game files yet that is another whole bag of beans) we find the amber starlight, an item that tells us that "ambered-hued stars must command the fates of the gods." Miquella being an empyrean and a candidate to godhood would mean that his fate also lays in the stars and could explain an interest in unshackling the stars and with it, his fate, which would give Ranni and Miquella a common objective.

After all we are never really given an explicit reason as to why malenia was sent to fight General Radahn. It could simply be to secure his brother's position in the setting, we know it cant be great runes as he sparred Godrick's life...So freeing the stars from the starscourge's grasp seems like a likey explanation, specially now after it was revealed that to access the dlc (which has Miquella as a major figure) one needs to slay Radahn aswell. So perhaps at some point, Ranni and Miquella worked Together more than it seems, possibly plotting the fall of Radahn for a while.

There is also the possibility that Miquella is Torrent's former master (something ill go into on a later post) and that he gave the spirit calling bell onto Ranni, which would mean more connections between the two. So thats about it! i hope the dlc sheds some light onto this (or completely crushes my hopes and dreams)

[brightlyburningstar]

My JRWI Wonderlust e8 brain dump 🎀

SPOILERS AHEAD SO PLEASE DON'T GO PAST IF U HAVENT WATCHED OR DON'T WANT SPOLIERSSSS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNEDDDDD

ok chat so after watching that I definitelyyy have some thoughts as to what the actual fuck is happening.

starting with our favorite silly man, Troy. this episode was definitely a good showcase of not only his flaws but also how he is positively changing for "the sake of the team". in the first bit of the episode, he was very considerate and caring with runt and blink, giving his extra clothing he could have worn instead of his uniform and even his special steamsledding goggles he always wears to runt. while he is still a selfish person he is making change and thinking about others which is the start to being a better person. i can see where his reaction is coming from in the fight with lint, he quite literally left for two days and it looks like during that time nobody really went to look for him. not only that but in 48 hours he was replaced, which is crazy to think about. he is so unskilled and just unfit to be team captain that in 48 hours he was replaced. if you look at troys mannerisms and his thinking patterns he is constantly trying to convince people that he is special or needed. he seeks that approval and that gratification, which is why seeing lint take his spot is so devastating to him. without that validation he is nothing, he doesn't matter. and its not like he isn't proud of lint, it is literally stated that tears start to well up in his eyes out of joy for his friend making it as team captain. The reason he reacts so negatively is because being team captain and being a steamsledder is the last thing that made troy, well troy. He says so himself, that without the team is he anything? he even starts to hold little to no value to his steamsled, which he literally ALMOST KILLED SOMEBODY OVER MULTIPLE TIMES. everybody likes to think that they have a purpose, but this poor man has been so conditioned that he is only good for steamsledding and fighting that without the team and the things he was raised for he has no goal, no purpose, and he just breaks. which is why i have little to no ill feelings towards him in that situation. i say little to none because, yeah he could have been nicer to lint but oh well, nobody's perfect. also mans is absolutely concussed, like somebody check if his brain is bleeding at this point my god. After the lint altercation, troy becomes increasingly more violent in his words, however unlike oasis flora he doesn't actually do anything too bad anybody, he's just a lot more violent verbally and a bit less physically. its weird and its also cool because it shows his character progression after the conversation with runt and blink in e7. HOWEVER THIS TIES IN WELL TO THE CLOCKWORK TROY THEORY BECAUSE THE SOLDIERS CANT HURT THE UPLANDERS, SO HE WOULDN'T HURT THE PEOPLE UP THERE BECAUSE HE SEES THEM AS COMMONERS UNLIKE THE HYBRIDS (or whatever that kid called them, i should write that down) ahem. idk what took over me there. none the less, troy was very interesting this episode and im excited to see where this will go.

next i wanna talk about blink, our favorite owl guy. i feel like he is just loosing his morals, and as he is around troy he's adopting the very habits he looked down on him for. blink's character is a very interesting one as he started with being very rigged and having a "i have to do good and fix everything" mindset and i cant tell if it's the character being stretched or just the campaign being very wobbly (idk how else to describe it) that is causing this change in him. Wonderlust is a fascinating campaign as it is not very serious at all most times and i cant tell if blink is straying from his morals so far because of a character arch or because of the show itself. i want it to be because of a character arch but considering we are only 8 episodes in and oh so far from where we started i'm unsure. i'm a little upset at this episode in general because it kinda did this to runt too, where she was a lot more violent than normal, and i'm unsure if it is because of the show or just the circumstances the characters are under. now that i'm looking at it, an explanation could be because of how troy explained up there to be, the two of them are trying to act like troy to fit in, but then again troy is toning down the violence and aggression so idfk guys. back to blink, he is just so (idk how else to say it) weird this episode. i hope he's back to his little anxiety silly self next episode and that he has more of a plot relevance, but i know he most likely wont because were still on the upland area but oh well

my next little paragraph will be about my darling runt. We found out about her family a bit this episode, which i missed at first (i listened to it twice, about to listen to my third listen through) but am glad i caught. We learn that her parents and siblings exist but that they kinda just fucked off and left her alone, which would make sense why she doesn't know how to talk about her emotions and why she calls everything a trauma dump. because she grew up with an emotionally unavailable family that left her alone and abandoned her (i'd assume thats what happened from how she described them) she literally doesn't know how to talk about how she feels. she thinks its all unimportant and just goes on with her life. not much happened with runt this episode and similarly to blink, the few times she does have talking moments its a little out of character. i love how her and blink stood up for troy and were supportive of his shitting himself endeavors, but she didn't really do much else this episode other than just be there for the ride. not complaining tho as we got to see more runt which is always good

other stuff i wanna talk about. ripley is always cool, i love any and all ripley content and am super stoked to see what her character will do throughout this series. if she dies i will cry, and she wont guys, mark my words. also, just to make sure i'm right, were going to the prison to find may to teach us steamsledding to become a team called smokestack to beat the other teams to win the finals to go in the winners lounge to go to clocktopolis so we can find the inventor???? i am so lost and i think this is it, right??? idfk man i give up its two am and i've been writing for an hour at this point

not related to the episode at all: i feel like graphite and uncle three strings would get along fucking great and i've seen like nobody talk about either of them so can we please as a collective give both of them the love they deserve. doppler and pinch are also super cool, i love their designs. im excited to get to the inventor, the next couple episodes will be fun for sure

[wilsons-three-legged-siamese]

My analysis on the House MD final, as i am struggling and this is for my art teacher 🫶

House always knows when hes hallucinating, because its happened so often. When Kutner appeared, he didn't bat an eye, he didn't even question it, he just accepted Kutner was there.

House casually convinces Foreman to try lower the sentence for Wilsons sake, thats extremely un-House-like.

House was seeing Kutner, because he was suicidal, because Wilson was/is suicidal. Also because House is suicidal.

Amber is the medical part of his brain, while Kutner is the personal part of his brain. Ironically, House prefers Kutner over Amber, because he keeps talking about Wilson.

House keeps insisting this man is alive and happe, yet hes dead and miserable. The man is representing Wilson, and House's denial for Wilsons diagnosis.

Houses subconscious finally tells him the puzzles keep him busy, telling him to find a puzzle about Wilson to keep him interested in him.

Again for Wilsons recklessness, breaking into Nolans meeting with people and not caring at all for confidentially and ethics.

Stacy comes back, telling him about signs about how he fell through the floor. Him falling through the floor could show that he was walking on thin ice with Wilson, and maybe in general.

Also not to mention:

"I know you believe in love."

*cuts to house and wilson eating lunch*

You cant tell me that wasn't unintentional.

The truth in both their eyes while eating that lunch and having a conversation, its insane. They're both so genuine and honest with each other at this point.

Chatting to Stacy about love, House refuses the fantasys with Dominika and hookers, yet Stacy says he can love another. This was very much disrected at Wilson.

The fact wilson was so ready to run in that fire and save House, shows the love. Wilson was ready to sacrifice himself, 5 months earlier than necessary.

House decides to save himself, so he can change for Wilson. When they lock eyes, the emotion looking at each other. In despear, denial and everything in between. Grief.

Wilson sat in a blanket says it all, he was broken, shatteted to pieces. Just lost without House. As he thought he just died in front of him.

Wilson was the main speech in the funeral, showing how special they were to each other and how much they appreciated one another.

Wilsons reaction was so real and desperate. He wasn't sad, yet, he was angry. He was furious for House "dying" before him.

Wilsons face, exactly when he looked at that message, it dropped. His eyes were confused, but he knee House was alive. He was too smart to die like that.

The man faked his death for his dying best friend. They really, really cared fir each other. They had each other, and thats all they had. Each other.

And thats all they need.

[doe-eyed-fool]

Prey | Chapter Seven

Alastor x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): Mentions Of Murder

The silence, was worst than rejection. This was a mistake. Probably the biggest mistake you've ever made. Of course Alastor wouldn't feel the same. You two had been friends for a long time. If he really felt the same way towards you, he would have done something by now. Wouldn't he?

Then again, Alastor had never shown much interest in relationships of the romantic type. You've not once heard him talk of a special lady in his life. And he most certainly could have any of them. So maybe it just wasn't meant to be...

"I-I'm sorry! I don't know why I asked that!" You say with a light laugh. "I mean, I know you like me. We're friends after all. That was a silly question, I'm sorry..." You try to blink back the tears forming in your eyes as you continued.

"Um, I think I'll be alright by myself for now. You can leave, I'll be fine." You motion your hand to the door and turn away from him. "I really should get to tidying up the place. It's a mess, like I said. And anyhow, I should be focusing on what I'm going to sing for my next performance. Can't be distracted, so if you'll please-"

Alastor caught your hand and spun you back to face him. "Y/n." He said firmly. You go quiet and avoid his eyes. Great. Not only had you confessed and gotten rejected, if that wasn't embarrassing enough, you just made a fool of yourself by rambling on like an idiot.

There were no hiding the tears now. You inwardly sigh and await for the worst.

"It seems you've misunderstood me." Said Alastor. Yes. You know that. You are more than painfully aware. Why did he have to rub it in? "And it seems I've been less than gentlemanly. What kind of man treats a woman on like I have been?"

Wait, what? You glance at him, a bit confused. Alastor sighs. "Y/n, I'm sure you know how I feel about these kinds of things. Romance and all that. So, I'm sure you also understand how this might feel for me, indulging in such things."

Now you were really confused. You face him properly. "What are you saying?" You ask. "I do like you, Y/n, to put it simply." Alastor says, making your heart stop for a moment. "It's just a shame I couldn't, and still cant, tell or show you properly."

"Alastor..."

"Why must it be me?" Alastor asks. "Has there be no one else that's caught your eye?" Your expression soften. "No." You says simply. "It's always been you. I'm not sure if anyone could compare, to someone like you."

"Someone like me..." Alastor repeats under his breath. He shook his head with a light chuckle. "Y/n, I don't think you understand just what you're asking for. 'Someone like me'...I can be...a bit much. You know that."

"Yes." You nod. "And I'm fine with that. There are so many great things about you Alastor. I'd be talking all day long just listing it all off. It's just...I don't want to ruin this. Us. You've been more than an amazing friend to me all these years. I don't want my emotions getting in the way of that."

"We have been friends for a while, yes." Alastor smiles softly. "Nothing will ever change my view of you, my care for you Y/n. Nothing. And as I've already said, I do like you."

"Do you?" You ask sadly. "Maybe I'm just mistaking your care for love. Maybe you are too." You try to move your hand away from his. It was too good to be true.

And yet, Alastor didn't budge. "That is entirely my fault." He says. "It was a constant back and forth with myself. A part of me wanted to give in, and the other, wanted to keep you at an arms length..."

"So...Which is it?" You ask. The uncertainty was worse than flat out rejection. Suddenly, you felt Alastor pull you close. "I'd love nothing more, than to give in." He says softly. The two of you were but inches from each other.

"Then why don't you?" You ask. Alastor's eyes glanced down at your lips for a split second, before trailing back to your eyes. Maybe it was build up from years of longing for Alastor that made you so bold.

You leaned up to kiss him gently. It was short and sweet, only lasting for a few seconds, before you pulling back to figure out his reaction.

You weren't parted long, before Alastor pulled you back in for a deeper, longer lasting kiss. Your chest felt like it was filled with butterflies and a soft warmth. You wrapped your arms around his neck, a soft sigh left you.

After a moment, you part once again. "By the way." You start. "Your charm has always worked on me."

Luck truly must have been on your side. Not only were you able to confess to the man you loved for years, and he return the feeling, but your career as a singer was really taking off. You were bringing in crowds of people any night you were preforming.

Mimzy would be the only person more happy about it than you, as it did wonders for her lounge getting more and more popular. Oh, and the money that was made from it too, of course.

But she wasn't the only one getting paid. For once, you were finally able to make a decent check. You had enough money for necessities and some extra spending money to have some fun with.

Before, any amount of money you made went right towards rent and food. But now, you didn't have to worry about keeping the lights on, or making sure you had something to eat at the end of the day.

You're weren't rich, but you had money to live off of now. And honestly, you might as well consider yourself rich, knowing that. 

More than the money though, you just enjoyed singing. You loved lighting up the room when you walked out on stage, hearing the applause of the crowd, the music in your ears, and of course, singing your heart out. 

And to top it all off, you were finally able to be with the man you loved. Being Alastor's partner was a dream. He was there for you, to hold your hand, to keep you close.

Never a day went by, where you not loved and appreciated. Even though a week had gone by, you still felt as giddy as the day he accepted your feelings. Yes, nothing could bring your mood down.

Except for maybe one thing...

"Oh my gosh..." You say under your breath, as you read over the news article for the third time. "Alastor, have you read this?" You ask, holding up the newspaper slightly.

You were over at Alastor's home this morning, as he offered to make breakfast for you the previous evening. And you weren't about to pass up that kind of offer.

"Afraid not, dear. Haven't gotten the chance to sit down and look it over yet." Alastor says as he turns off the stove. "What's it say?" He asks.

You look at the article again, furrowing your brows in grimace as you read. The article read of mysterious blood stains in an alleyway downtown, as well as a few strands of hair. So far, the police have no leads to what happened, or any potential suspects. 

Alastor froze a moment before speaking. "Are you sure that's not another fake article, to spark panic or interest? You know, there's been quite a few of those lately. Seems some will do anything to catch the attention of the easily fooled." 

"I don't think so Alastor." You mutter. "It seems pretty serious. Who could have done such a thing?" Alastor joined your side, sitting down at the table. "I'm sure it's fine. Perhaps some drunkard fell and injured himself. Or it could have been a disagreement between two people, that got out of hand."

"That's what I'm afraid of." You tell him. "Do you...Do you think it might have been a murder?" You say quietly. Alastor took your hands with his. "No dear, I don't think so. This side of the city hasn't had a crime that serious in a while. There's nothing to worry about." 

"But, it's still a scary thought. That something like that could have happened..." You say, not wanting to think too hard about it. "Well." Alastor starts. "If, and I do mean if, something like that were to happen. You won't need to worry yourself about it. And do you know why?"

"Why?" You ask. Alastor took one of your hands and raised it to his lips, he kissed it before speaking again. "Because you have me to keep you safe. Nothing will harm you as long as I'm around, dearest." 

A small smile found it's way onto your face. "I know. You always have protected me, Alastor." 

"And I always will." Alastor says with a soft smile. "Now, let's not have this food getting cold." 

A potential murder, one would have to admit, can inspire a man such as Alastor to speak on the topic. He can't let the papers get all the attention, now could he? Though, perhaps he would have to fight for the attention, had this accident gone unnoticed...

Oh well. He was in need of new things to talk about on his radio show anyhow. 

"Good evening all! It's your beloved radio host, Alastor Thurman here to give you all another outstanding broadcast, for you eager listeners. How about we jump on the topic that's gotten everyone in a tizzy." Alastor leans forward slightly in his chair, his grin ever present, even when alone in his studio. 

"A potential murder case, and the unknown suspect still in hiding!" He begins. "The location of the victim's body is unknown." Alastor says lowly, to amplify the intensity. "No leads on a potential suspect either. Yes, this is quite the tricky case indeed. Careful on your way home tonight folks." He chuckles. 

"Now, onto a lighter subject!" 

Honestly. A mistake like that was unforgivable. The fool deserved to be locked up for that alone. It was like he was trying to get caught. 

However, it was almost worth it. 

Alastor's grin grows sinister as he recalled that night. That horrid man's screams, the fear in his eyes, and the pitiful last breath he took. Alastor had finally gotten rid of him. Now his beloved would have nothing to fret about. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't do it for himself too. 

He wanted to kill that man the moment he had the misfortune of meeting him. And that day he dared to put his filthy hands on you only amplified that want. The world was better off, without people like him around anyhow. 

As delighted as it made him feel, that mistake could have ruined everything. It's bad enough you were worried by it, but if you were to ever find out about his...hobbies, there is no doubt that you'd leave him. 

And he knew it. And so, mistakes like this will never happen again on his watch. 

The tension among folks would only rise when there was an official missing person case out in the open. A local owner of a small diner had mysteriously disappeared without a trace. Cops weren't the only ones linking the disappearance to the scene in that alleyway. 

And despite law enforcements best efforts, there was no calming the every growing concern among the people. 

Especially you. You hated the fact that your former boss might have been murdered, as much as you disliked the man. No one deserves that. But you couldn't allow yourself to stay frightened, you had a show coming up. You couldn't allow your nerves to get the better of you and ruin that night. 

Besides, you had Alastor to keep you safe. And as long as he was around, there would be nothing for you to fear.

Tags-

@martinys-world

[cemetarywoman]

!!!would you mind doing some head cannons or something for current ville convincing his younger partner (but very much legal!) to join him on tour as his makeup artist or to move to Helsinki with him? If those are too specific, just general head cannons for being w current ville as a younger partner(again, obviously very legal and an adult)

Ok i love this request 🤭🤭

Ville Valo in an age gap relationship headcannons

-now that he has more experience with life and relationships i think that he would only really date someone he could see himself spending the rest of his life with

-not that he wasn’t serious about his past relationships, but he definitely used to ignore red flags and stay in toxic relationships when he was younger

-but now he wants to make sure that whoever hes dating is someone he truly loves and trusts

-so you’re pretty special to him!🤭

-I feel like he would only really think about your age difference if someone else brought it up

-its just not a big deal to him and he doesn’t see why it should be to anyone else either

-but this sweetheart has absolutely no problem telling someone off if they comment on it in a negative way

-although since you are younger sometimes one of you will reference something the other person doesn’t quite understand but it always makes you both laugh

-ville would love if you share your favorite things with him and he also loves sharing his favorite things with you

-he would spend hours listening to you talk about you favorite music, tv shows or literally anything else you like because you are just so interesting to him

-obviously he wants you to go wherever he is and he would get all pouty when he has to leave you alone even if it just for a few hours

-when he asks you to come on tour with him it was probably while you two were just relaxing in bed together, and hes very sweet about it

-“Darling, I was thinking that maybe you’d want to come with me on tour? I know you’ve never done that before but I would love to share this part of my life with you. And since you’re so good at makeup I was thinking you could help me with mine? Id much rather you be my makeup artist than some random person”

-personally it wouldn’t take me much convincing but yk 🫣

-he’ll be sooo happy and giggly if you say yes, hes just so excited to show you how fun it is to visit so many different awesome places

-now I think he would be a littleee nervous to ask you to move in with him

-the last thing he want to do is scare you off

-but hes been thinking about moving back home and he just cant see himself leaving without you with him

-he would make probably ask you during a nice dinner or something romantic like that

- “So y/n, I’ve been thinking a lot about something and I’m finally ready to talk about it with you… I want to move back to Helsinki, but only if you come with me. Now I don’t want you to say yes because I want to go, I only want you to say yes if you really want to move there. Im more than happy staying here if it means I can be with you.”

-ofc you say yes because well tf would say no to that?? Certainly not me🙏

-Ville helps you get adjusted to your new life in Helsinki by making sure the house is decorated to your liking to make sure that you at least have some since of familiarity

-he would be so excited while showing you all his favorite spots back home

SORRY IF THESE SUCK IM LIKE HALF ASLEEP WRITING THIS I JUST WOKE UP FROM A NAP LOL

[simplydannie]

Velvet & Veneer Fanfic

"Back to the Underground: Poisoned"

Story Arc || Part 1 || Part 2

@jules0511 It's been two weeks. The twins have now been doing any means necessary to survive. The hunt for them isn't over....but a new problem occurs causing more struggle for Velvet and Veneer. We also learn that a small little Trolls has been held captive in the under city of Rageous.

“Boss… she’s on the other line..” 

Shank sat at the chair center of his base: an underground run down old subway terminal. Huge screen monitors displayed across the walls. 

“Put her on.” He gestured towards the screens. They lit up: her face was shadowed, all you could see was her graceful neck, down to her waist as she sat behind her desk. From what he could see, her hair was long with a deep purple hue. Her skin was like porcelain, light purple porcelain. She wasn’t at all pale as those in the under city, she was definitely from the upper atmosphere…. What was attractive was her voice. He couldn’t put words, but her voice sounded like a friend, loving, someone you can trust… but she wasn’t. Shank yelled for everyone to get out… he was to talk to her alone. 

“Mistress.” He greeted.

“I’m not here to make small talk. Do you have my twins or not?” She asked. Today she wore a black velvet blouse, it tightened her bosom but fell loose around her arms. This was her… the twins old manager. The puppeteer behind the green haired puppets. 

“They decided to make a mess of things and off one of my guys. What do you say to that?” Shank asked her. 

Her smile was cunning, vicious, yet beautiful. 

“Did you know what they would do?” He asked her.

“After whats happened and the amount of Troll essence they absorbed, I had my theory. You’ve seen the effects of Troll poison first hand.” 

“But nothing like this. This is different.” He responded. “It cost me a guy, and a drone?  I expect more compensation.” Shank sat back in his chair, crossing his legs. 

“Oh so you expect me to pay double for your idiot henchman and your stupid machine? Honey, I can easily find someone else to do it in a heartbeat. But because of our past, I decided to give you chance. You haven’t let me down. If I recall, YOU were the one to tell me about them in the first place, am I wrong.” 

Shank began to scowl at her words.

“If you can’t handle this, honey, I’ll gladly take it off your shoulders. But I am not paying you anything for a fallen idiot and robot. You’re dealing with the wrong girl here.” She finished.

“FINE!” Shank groaned in annoyance. “If that will get you to shut up. I don’t understand, why them? Cant you get other loons to fill in their place? The boy basically ratted you out.”

“He ratted themselves out. He knows what would’ve happened if he DARED mention my name. My interest in the twins is none of your business. All you need to know is that they’re special….very special.” Mistress replied. 

“Whatever. You better pay me the amount you had said.” 

She moved closer to the camera revealing her face, her beautiful heart shape face. Her dark purple lips pursed into a smile; her bright green eyes staring intently at him as she rested her chin on her hands. 

“Thank you, hun. I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Now, I can pay you back in other ways as Ive done before.” She winked biting her lips seductively. “Just come up here and pay me a visit when you can.” 

“Well, I can’t deny that form of payment. Can I now?”

Time passed. 

It had been two weeks since their return. Two weeks they spent in the underground subway trying to figure out where they could go.

Word would have spread to Under Rageous already about the infamous Velvet and Veneer: the frauds of Rageous. 

No one would hire them, work with them. No one would trust them and now, they are being hunted down. If there was one way they were going to make ends meet, they would have to revert to how they survived down here before… thieving. 

Velvet had done her share the past week. She stole only the necessities, and now it was Veneer’s turn. Velvet knew her brother was more than capable of handling his own; his innocence would cause people to turn a blind eye, but ever since the encounter they had with those thugs when they first arrived….she worried. Every time Veneer would leave, her heart would stop in anticipation for his return. They gave each other a time limit: if they were not back within the hour, they would go looking for each other.

Velvet sat on the small used up couch in their hideout. She leaned her head back staring up at the ceiling. 

30 minutes. Veneer had 30 minutes to return or else she would go find him. 

She glanced around at their temporary home….How was it that they came back…to this? They were at the top. Their names known throughout ALL of mount Rageous. They were immortal, gods to them. All the young of Mount Rageouns worshipped the path they walked on. They had it all…the money, the fame, the luxary. And now they were back down here.

The images of that day replayed over and over in her head…. and the more they did, the more it fueled her anger. Her anger towards one specific person in general: Veneer. Velvet clenched her fists tightly at her sides. Stupid, stupid idiot! She thought to herself. He ruined everything for both of them, and for what? They weren’t safe. They weren’t better off than they were before. He just sent them back so they could live like rats again. What was he thinking, she began to fume. 

It began feeding on her rage. The voice began to spin and murmer in her head. It’s his fault. Traitor. Coward. Weakling. You sent us back. Traitor. Velvet grasped the side of her head.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” She screamed, but the voices kept talking. You know it’s true. He only thought of himself. Maybe you should have let that thug kill him. You can still go back….Go back….Go back. A pink hue began to glow in her eyes….

Veneer made his way back down into the underground subway, his bag filled with more things than he should have gotten. Before hoping over the tracks, he waited and listened, making sure he wasn’t followed. When all was clear he ran across the tracks in back into their deep hideout. As he got close to the door he did the secret knock he had taught his sister. He listened in carefully….He could hear her voice whisper, as if she were talking to someone. 

“Vels?” He called out as he opened the door. “Vels, I got the necessary stuff. Buuuutt I may have snagged a few “extra” things. I had an idea for that drone and….Vels?” His expression changed from enthusiam to worry....Velvet sat on the couch, hugging her knees, rocking back and forth whispering to herself. He walked closer to her, but stopped as he did….He saw her eyes…Her glowing pink pigmented eyes. Veneer’s heart began to race as he began to slowly walk back towards the enterance.

“….Coward.” He heared her say.

“What was that?” 

“Coward. You’re a coward Veneer!” She clenched her teeth staring at him with anger on her face. 

“Vels please…..” He begant to say. 

“You’re a coward! You’re a traitor! You took everything from me!” She stood up facing him, eyes still glowing pink. Veneer was to stunned for words. What could he say to her? It was his fault, but he didn’t want to be living a lie, he didn’t want to kill Floyd.

“We can finally talk about this. So let’s sit down and talk.” He said calmly.

“I DON’T WANT TO TALK!” She leaped at him, knocking him backwards onto the floor. Talking one fist she punched him across the face causing pain to seer through his left cheek. 

“Velvet! Stop!” He cried. She pinned him down using her knees, taking her other fist she struck him across the face again…and again….and again.

“I HATE YOU! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! I SHOULD HAVE LET THAT THUG KILL YOU!” 

SMACK….SMACK…SMACK…. She could see blood flying everywhere.

“PLEASE STOP. I’M SORRY!” He cried…. She heard the voice of a child…She heard his voice when HE was a child. Veneer crying and begging for his aunt to stop….and that’s when Velvet paused, the pink glow slowly leaving her eyes, her mind starting to come back, the poison loosing its grip again. 

What did I do?…She blacked out…

The smell of food is what woke her. 

Velvet found herself lying down on the single bed they shared, pillows engulfing her in an embrace. She peered through midway opened eyes to find her brother hovering over a small pot over a fire, heating up whatever food he managed to collect. 

“Ven?” She called out. Her vision was still a blur as she slowly started to wake up. 

“Hey! FInally, you’re up!” He walked over to her with a plate in hand. “Not the best, but it’s something.”

Velvet gasped as soon as he got close to her; she finally saw the damage she had done. His left eye was swollen shut, bruises and cuts filled his face, a gash was on his upper lip. He saw the look of horror on her face.

“Oh! It doesn’t feel as bad as it looks.” He smiled.

“I….I did that….” She stared at her hands, “Oh my god…..I….I could’ve killed you….” 

“But you didnt! Vels it’s…it’s not that bad.”

“Shut up!” She cried. “Just shut up! Look at yourself! I could’ve killed you! I was so angry…I AM angry…but …I don’t know what happened…Ven, I’m so sorry…”

He was speechless; she never apologized…ever. Veneer didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know how to react. All he knew at that moment was that something was wrong with her, that she needed help. Using the Troll left her mad, left her crazy. Maybe the ones who would know about this would be the Trolls, but they were far gone. Even if the twins were able to make it out of Under Rageous, they didn’t where to look or where to even start. The best thing he could think of at the moment was placing a hand over hers, hoping she didn’t push him away….she didn’t. 

“…We’ll figure this out. Using the Troll, it didn’t leave you right Vels. Now you know why I had to stop it? Why I had to says something?….I was loosing you..” Veneer said in almost a whisper. 

“How are we going to figure this out?” She asked as her voice shook. For the very first time, Velvet was afraid, she was completely afraid…only her brother was able to calm her and give her some sense of peace in this hell hole. 

“I don’t know Vels…but we will.” 

Their small little footsteps echoed in the giant empty hallways.

The little Trolls ran as fast as they could. Feeling the ground shake beneath them they knew they were being followed…a Rageoun not to far off. 

“Over here guys!” Branch called out as he neared a vent. Who didn’t know where this lead? But wherever it lead was safer than where they were. He opened the vent signalling them to jump in. One by one, each freed Troll went inside. The last Troll was a Funk Troll about his age.

“What about you?” He asked.

“I’ll distract them. This isn’t my first rodeo with giant goofballs like them.” Branch stated. The voices begant to get closer. The Funk Troll gave him a nod.

“See you on the other side, man.”  He jumped through the vent and was gone. Branch made his way to the center of the hallway as the Rageons grew nearer. He quickly took in his surroundings seeing where he could exit. Whatever he did, he had to try and lead them away. Within moments two Rageons where in his line of view, one male and one female, both sporting the same pale skin and dark blue hair.

“Found one!” Cried the female as she glanced at Branch. 

“You did. But can you catch me!” He ran right towards them. What Branch remembered when he faced the twins on their yacht was that Rageouns were big, but their movements were slow compared to that of a Troll. He moved with ease right underneath them, causing them to trip and stumble over each other. Branch also remembered how long their limbs were, how they could easily reach and grasp with ease, but he was prepared. Using his hair, he wrapped it around the neck of one Rageoun causing her to panic as he swung around her and slingshotted himself towards the forehead of the boy…a move he learned from Viva. 

The male Rageoun fell backwards in a daze, knocking himself out as his head hit the cold floor. Branch continued to swing around the female’s neck. He released and wrapping his hair around a metal pole nearby, he sling shotted himself once more towards the center of the girl’s forehead. The force was greater causing her to fall unconscience that moment. Branch landed with a small THUD at the foot of the two Rageouns. The groaned and moaned in pain. 

“That’s what you get! Morons.” Branch ran back to the vent lifting it up. He could hear more voices grow near as more Rageouns approached. “I’m coming home Poppy.” He jumped into the vent.

He could feel himself twist and turn in the darkness as he fell straight down. Branch reached out to grab something, anything as he felt fear enter him. He let out a small yell as he finally his the floor. The vent had lead to the outside of the building they were in. The small Troll rubbed his elbow as he looked around cautiously. 

“Guys.” Branch called out to the other Trolls who escaped before him…silence. He saw small footprints leading away. Okay, they made it out, but where did they go, he wondered to himself. It was dark, it was muggy, the atmosphere of this place felt eerie and distant. Branch heard the small bustling of music and saw glimpses of lights flash above him. He looked up and his jaw dropped in surprise.

“That’s…..that’s Mount Rageous.” He murmured looking up, up, up towards the upper atmospher of was Mount Rageous. 

“If that’s Mount Rageous…then what the heck is this place.” He walked up the small hill that over looked the under city. Lights also shown down here, but something about the artificial lgihts made it seem dark and sad, unlike the lights and the clouds of Mount Rageous. The city above completely covered any light, any rain, any clouds from entering the city below. And I thought Rock Trolls were gloomy, he thought.

This was unknown territory, he had to tread care fully. He hopes he can meet up with the other escaped Trolls somewhere, but his main goal was to find a way out and get back home….get back to Poppy. 

[stitchwraith-stingers]

autistic hazel headcanons because i lost my last post

spoke really late, around 5 years old, since then she hasnt stopped talking, god speed

i shouldnt have to say itsince its so obvious in the show but geology special interest..... i like to imagine she has various really niche hyperfixations (like her hat thing going on) one day she could just pop up next to you and go btw did u know that birds r crazy cool and then the next month shes talking about furneture

and to add to that, it all started when her family went onto some museum exibit and her brother was like ohh rocks r so strange and explained whatever he learned in the...... 8th grade i cant count about them and from that day on

no idea where to put this but she has had bad sleeping problems since forever . she lives off 2 hours of sleep baybe and they r heavenlyyyy... unrelated but the nightmare haver...

not really much sensory issues going on, but she perfers lights off in her room if shes able to

she doesnt like alot of different fabric textures, silk is a 100% no-go for her, she sticks with wool

doesnt like soft fruit (bananas, strawbarries, mangoes, blueberries) and doesnt like most nuts

would hide in the janitors closet when she has a meltdown / shutdown, everyone in the school just kinda accepts it now and always know shes there since where else could she be, she doesnt actually have those often she just had it 3 times and keeps using it as an excuse to talk to coswan

her main stim was rocking back and forth often, but the kids would point it out often and shes trying SO hard to not do it again so they wouldnt stare at her, body stims alot in general but probably doesnt notice it

often makes alottttt of hand gestures when talking and people would repeat those gestures to her

the short term memoryerrrrrr (crock to the future.....tbh same)

has a hard time distinguishing phrases (break a leg, i could eat a horse etc) but is fine with sarcasam

COLLECTOR OF FIDGETS!!!!!! had to sell most of them before leaving for dimmadelphia though :( her faves are tangles, popits are just easier to carry around

probably had a weighted plushie she had everywhere as a kid, i like to imagine it was an elephant

doesnt like strong smells WORST sensory nightmare for her, unfortunatly for her, onions are her fathers comfort food

doesnt like eyecontact, unfortunatly for her, her best friend likes intense eye contact

her family is full of undiagnosed neurodivergents (marcus/angela r autistic4adhd to me) so they probably connect the dots after guzman pulls them aside and goes weve been observing ur daughter and i think you might want to check this out

I CANT FIND THE FUCKING IMAGE NOO but hazel n marcus r basically that one image thats like "sorry mom im gonna be late i have to drop this pebble down a river to see how big the splash it" / "ok but tell me too how deep it is how loud i was etc"

[woobifykamukura]

ghdsfkjghdsf is that a common thing?

I don't really get how he'd be misdiagnosed anyway; it would need brain scans, especially since it's so rare at his age, and if anything it would have been misdiagnosed as other conditions for a while. Only going off cry-stars here- I have no expertise myself- but she's said that can happen and there was a recent case in Japan where a young guy's dementia was mistaken for depression for ages.

If we doubt Komaeda's FTD it can only be via doubting his honesty imo (but I still think he's telling the truth). I also love seeing analyses of him through the lenses of other disorders as comorbid instead of alternative diagnoses- especially autism, but I've seen interesting takes wrt OCD and BPD too- but canonically I feel like bvFTD, extreme post-traumatic stress and political radicalisation adequately explain his issues.

TO BE FAIR it probably isnt As common as i think it is, i just saw one reddit post thst explicitly claimed the FTD was a misdiagnosis and that it totally makes way more sense for komaeda to have autism and bpd, and a surprisung number of people... agreed? for some reason??

which i need to state for the record a) i am autistic myself and b) have absolutely zero problems with headcanons, even if they arent ones i ascribe to personally

what i DO have a problem with is people erasing canon neurodivergencies and/or erasing traits CENTRAL to a character in order to square-peg-round-hole the headcanon THEY have as the most correct one

"nagito has ftd and was autistic before that?" cool! neat! seeing how those two disorders being comorbid with each other could be really interesting!

"nagito does NOT have ftd, the devs were wrong, they actually wrote an autistic character and didnt realize it" stop talking.

this is very like, misanthropic i guess but after SO MUCH SHIT ive seen it just speaks to an unwillingness to empathize with or relate to anyone that isnt exactly like you. and you cant just headcanon real people around you with Misdiagnosed Autistic (most.... times....) so this pops up in fiction

like. i am autistic! i also have two (2) personality disorders, and neither is bpd. this has led to a non negligible amount of autistic people completely stereotyping my other disorders as evil in order to prop themselves up ("i thought i was a narcissist/sociopath, which wouldve been awful, but really i was just autistic! phew!!" with implicit, sometimes EXPLICIT value judgements being made)

i have had a friend i had in real life, to my face, say he didn't believe i had either personality disorder and really i was secretly just autistic

...if we had been better friends, maybe he would've known me well enough to know that that's almost... comically untrue. lol

so in my opinion there do exist a certain minority of autistic people who see autism as the only neurodivergency that Matters, or at least the one that matters the most. and the only way they can feel any sympathy for anyone else is if they are also autistic

and i know this is a minority! and i just see it a lot because i am an autist in fandom and a lot of other autistic people are also in fandom! AND that this is a mindset prone to ANY minority- most people think their Problem is the Worst Problem, it just... happens. however i am just as irrational and prone to biases as anyone else and ive chosen this as my completely irrelevant hill to die on

that one reddit post made me so goddamn mad bc of All This PLUS its double insulting when someone says "i have a special interest in psychology!" as a way to say theyre extremely knowledgable, and doing genuine analysis with the lens of "i am looking at the text and trying to make an objective diagnosis" and then STILL DO THIS!!! because they have this veneer of "im just a guy asking questions" before diving right into a weirdly consspiratory subset of "everyones an idiot about mental health except for ME"

...which tbf i dont think that about myself. i am very good at writing a wide variety of mental illness due to a combination of research and life experience BUT i could really only tell you like. actual non-surface level FACTS about aspd and to a lesser extent, npd. because thats what i chose to focus on. there are far and away lots more people that know more about me about other things, and im fine wit that

i am however also aware of this extremely hyperspecific social phenominon. and thus it is my burden to bear. my mountainous molehill.

also r/danganronpa just fucking sucks like in general. every time i see a kokichi opinion there i get a little closer to pulling the trigger. i think the real moral here is reddit is garbage and should not be used for anything other than product reviews

(also fwiw i agree w ur personal take at the end, with a lil bit of ocd tendencies that like, started off manageable and nowhere near diagnostic level badness, since things he might do to manage his cycle and even the constant thinking about it are very much reminiscent of obsessions and compulsions. but ftd in of itself can cause ocd symptoms so after that it got... worse. thats my personal take on it ^^)