#if you can handle the serious subject matter I really recommend it too

[derfisch]

okay, I said I was gonna do it! below the cut:

a brief review of every anime I watched this season (no battle shounens, guaranteed)

there are 11 that I watched! wow!

to start with, I watched some less recent anime:

Fruits Basket (2019)

I can see why this one is a classic. if the original is anything like the new one (I haven't watched that either), this is held together by excellent, deep character writing and a fantastic sense of place that never falters. the main character, whose archetype of "ditzy genki girl" would usually be written as very one-dimensional and fluffy, has loads of interesting facets of her personality, and goes through plenty of character growth along with everyone else around her, all without feeling the need to make her less girly or compromising her agency in any way.

for negatives, the humor fell flat more often than not, and the melodrama felt a little heavy handed, especially toward the end when they need you to know The Stakes Are High. I'm also unsure how I feel about how it decided to portray some really incesty relationships? but as a CCS enjoyer it's not like I can complain too much there, lol

despite those flaws though, I would still absolutely recommend it to anyone looking for a good drama. I found it pretty good for sleepytime watching too, if you need something like that.

My Roommate Is A Cat

while I did like it a lot, there's not a whole lot to say about it. I like all the characters, even though they don't go too deep. it's fun, it's cute, and it's funny. there's a cat. I like the bits where we get to see from the cat's point of view, and they totally misunderstand the situation. it's not the prettiest anime out there, but I'd still give it a watch if you have the time for a short one

Love Stage!!

absolutely gutted by this one. as a BL anime from about a decade ago, there's a genre-required sexual assault scene. I cannot recommend it to anyone on that basis alone. this is not a triggering subject matter for me, and I was made deeply uncomfortable by it

which really, really sucks, because outside of that I'm super into its characters and its scenario. the tonal whiplash between the sexy seme raping the innocent uke and a few episodes later when he's genuinely regretful of it, and they actually have to work through their feelings over what happened, I appreciated it so much. and even outside of that, the relationship between the two is really interesting. the character writing is super strong, and the conclusion is satisfying and somehow feels earned

if you're absolutely sure you can handle the uncomfortable stuff, maybe give it a watch. otherwise, there's much better gay media out there for you that doesn't subject you to uncomfortable shit like that

Oshi no Ko

I literally cannot tell you anything about this other than you have to watch this. even if you don't give a shit about idols. I'm serious. watch the entire first episode (and I mean the whole thing! don't quit halfway through), and you'll probably know if it's for you or not. but it is gorgeous, and the storytelling and characters are phenomenal. there's a reason no one will shut up about it. I am chomping at the bit for season 2, and the only reason I'm not going to read the manga is the anime is so beautiful

A Herbivorous Dragon of 5,000 Years Gets Unfairly Villainized

[kenny lauderdale voice] is chinese animation anime?

I remember my roommate watching the first episode of this with me around when Dragon Goes House Hunting was airing, to compare the two, and he ultimately passed on it. with that no longer fresh in my mind though, I went back and gave it another shot, and I'm glad I did

it's really short, the usual 12 episodes of a season being made up of 15-minute episodes. the characters don't have a lot of room to breathe, and the story doesn't have enough time to build on its premise for the climax to feel justified. but despite that, I loved the characters themselves, and their interactions with each other. The humor was pretty good, and I found the main duo super endearing. It's not much of a time commitment, so you don't have much to lose by giving this one a shot. oh, and watch Dragon Goes House Hunting too when you're done

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years Of Virginity Can Make You A Wizard?!

[kenny lauderdale voice again] is live action drama anime?

I saw this recommended a lot when I went looking into popular BL drama. maybe I expect too much from my media, but I wasn't really into this. the main character has barely any personality beyond "anxious wreck," and his love interest comes across as a bit creepy, but otherwise not very interesting. In fact, it takes a flashback for us to really have any hint of why the love interest likes the main character at all. this is also peak "why do japanese dramas have such ridiculous acting"

I couldn't really bring myself to finish it. I made it about 2/3 through, seeing if it got better, but I just really couldn't go on any longer

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

another drama! this one was much, much better. it starts with the couple already together, and focuses more on how they cohabitate and work on their relationship. the characters in this feel very real, and their scenarios never feel particularly contrived or unnatural. also, it features characters who are properly middle aged, which is pretty rare for Japanese media in general, let alone BL

this was the hardest one to watch though, because it's only available on Netflix and it's blocked in my country! I couldn't find a good site to pirate it either, so I had to use a VPN. I hope it becomes more easily available some day

now, into the newer stuff:

My Happy Marriage

what interested me about this is it billed itself as a "historical drama," which is surprisingly rare for a culture that seems to have no problem commodifying its history. unfortunately, that's only half true. the setting seems to have one foot in meiji-era japan, and the other in a poorly explained fantasy setting with nonsensical magic powers

I could put up with that, except I really can't stand the characters either. the main character is Tradwife Prime, who's incapable of mustering an ounce of agency except to simp for the man she was forced to marry by her very abusive parents. said husband is nice, but bland as they come. she has a sister who is a huge jerk seemingly just to mess with her.

it has two things going for it: there is some catharsis in seeing husband guy treat this poor woman right, and also it's drawn and animated really well.

maybe it gets better after the first half, but I dropped it about halfway through. if you are the straightest, most misogynistic man, who only sees value in media that reinforces your pitiful worldview, and think all women should exist to be subservient to their husbands, maybe watch it. except even they probably shouldn't, or they'll risk feeling inferior to the most boring man on the planet. but maybe watch it if you like pretty pictures, and don't have a functional brain? or just watch it in a language you don't understand, I guess. make up your own story! you'll probably do better than the writers

Yohane the Parahelion

I watched this because, I kinda liked love live when I watched it a while back, and I thought putting the girls in a fantasy setting sounded neat. also, there's a cute dog, and I wanted to see more of the cute dog

unfortunately, the story is too busy expositing about the characters themselves and their nothing personalities to tell us about the setting, which feels underutilized. every few episodes, there's a hint at some spooky magic stuff happening, which is then stopped after a couple minutes to go back to light drama and fluff

and I started out liking the dog, who kinda feels like a big sister character, but that's literally her entire personality, and I got bored with her after a while, and the show itself just as quickly. it feels like a story yohane (the one in the love live world) wrote herself while she was bored, without consulting an editor or anything. can't recommend unless you really like looking at the cute dog

Sweet Reincarnation

this is a bad anime. I can't believe I watched it all the way through

the premise sounds fun. a patissier gets sent to the shadow realm and then gets isekai'd into life as a prince in generic fantasy world (do all these isekais take place on the same world, you think?), and is totally unhinged about turning the world into a sugar utopia under his command

what are the implications of this? the consequences? we'll never find out, because instead he just does really boring political drama shit. also he's like really good at diplomacy and negotiation for some reason? I don't think candy makers normally have to do that

it's kind of a shame because there are brief moments where the anime remembers what its stupid premise is, and those are genuinely fun. dude bankrupts the treasury buying fucking apples or whatever. uses his OP isekai power to invent irrigation and scare the shit out of everyone in the surrounding area. super fun stuff. but it lasts like 3 minutes every episode, and then it goes back to boring shit

also more arranged marriage, and this time it's with 10 year olds! no commentary whatsoever on how fucked up that is either, main character who is mentally about 30 years old at this point, totally stoked about his actual 10 year old wife to be. real normal shit

you already know it's shit though, right? you don't watch isekais to see a good anime anymore, right? you'll watch your garbage anime and you'll enjoy it anyway, right? okay

The Masterful Cat is Depressed Again Today

I love this anime. it follows the lead that Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill took of living life with a gruff, much more capable giant animal domestic partner. but instead of a cool magic wolf, yukichi is the masterful cat in question, and he fills the role of what I can only describe as the perfect house husband, with some sass and kitty antics included. he's also a big soft boy, which naturally gets bonus points from me

the series is pure slice of life. I haven't read the manga, but you can feel where the chapters begin and end within episodes, which makes them feel like short vignettes, rather than full stories. that's all this anime needs to convey its characters though! everyone feels well fleshed out, and their interesting personalities shine through

I do have 2 content warnings though: one, the main character ends up drinking alcohol a lot. you might know this is a trigger for me in certain scenarios, and this did make me uncomfortable. I was able to manage because the scenes in question are so short and tend to avoid portraying it as much more than an annoyance for yukichi, but if you're more sensitive to it than me, you're gonna have a rough time. second, probably less serious, but in an episode, the main character gains a bit of weight (which you would never guess by looking at her, but you'll have to trust the writers lol) and they make a big deal about her having to diet and exercise. might be kind of uncomfortable for some people who are used to having their weight pathologized, so feel free to skip that bit.

aside from those two complaints though, I really recommend this anime! it's super fun and really sweet

I ended up really watching a lot this season! I hope next season has some good ones too

[literategoblin]

4/52 "I'm Glad My Mom Died" by Jennette McCurdy

Autobiographies have never been a genera I found myself reaching for or logging in my TBR, I'm not sure why that is exactly. But when I saw this was coming out, with a title like that and by an actress I remember watching on TV myself as a child it seemed as good a time as any to give them a try. And wow, what a ride it was. Jennette recounts her experiences with her abusive mother throughout early childhood as well as her experiences as a child actor and the ways that has affected her life. She also delves into her experiences with eating disorders, romance, depression, and a number of other things. I was shocked at how much I resonated with her experiences with certain things throughout the book. The prose is written a delivered in a quick, blunt, but flavorful style that really moves thing along. It feels so much like a conversation, but almost always like a natural one. It is emotional, impactful, and very often deeply relatable despite the extremely heavy subject matter. This book deals with serious issues, anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism, child abuse, mental health, depression, among other things. The book is marketed as "impressively funny" and perhaps to a different person, it is. But I didn't really resonate with the humor, I suspect that is more of a personal taste issue than an issue with the writing or delivery, but all the same I found the book to mostly have a serious tone panning to sarcasm or exasperation when it needed to. But the tone selected fits the subject matter remarkably well, making the 304 pages feel like they are flying by. The formatting also helps with this. With the book being split into 91 "chapters" or sections with some being only a single page long. While an odd choice at first it really grew on me by the end. Jumping from moment to moment as we move down a timeline to the modern day. The abrupt transitions do a good job of adding a little extra impact to certain scenes, though I admit a few take away from what was being developed in the section before. Moving on a little too fast for the material to really set in or develop with the reader. All in all however. This was a very enjoyable read, if you're in a place where you can handle a heavy and emotional book, I can very sincerely recommend it. I can see how the chosen style might not resonate with some people, and I can also see how someone who hasn't been affected by some of the things in the book may have trouble relating to Jennette, I think if you have experiences even vaguely adjacent to hers, you will find a very powerful experience in these pages.

"I yearn to know the people I love deeply and intimately—without context, without boxes—and I yearn for them to know me that way, too.” 4.5/5

[barren-heart]

I feel this way too. I exclusively only watch comedy shows since 2020. I love mockumentaries, too. I love The Good Place, I love Superstore, I love Abbot Elementary.

The Good Place is my magnum opus. Micheal Shur is my favorite showrunner of all time. The way they were able to string together coherent plots and arcs while simultaneously making the funniest fucking jokes and most heartbreaking lines ever to exist. They had some pretty raunchy jokes that got pass the censors. I’ll never get over this quote:

That is my number 1 comfort show. Arguably, they could’ve done a bit better on queer relationships, especially when it came to their protagonist Eleanor who is Canonically bisexual, but I always quote:

Superstore wasn’t afraid to show an onscreen queer relationship. And if you’ve never seen it, I recommend it. It dealt with some serious subject matters like COVID, tornadoes, adoption, immigration just to name a few. I love this show’s comedy, too. 10/10.

The funniest part about me including this show is that the one of the relationship’s was a boss/employee one.

Like, that’s his fucking boss. Lol

I didn’t love this pairing, but at least they explored it in a serious way in the middle of a comedy sitcom.

And then there’s a relatively new mockumentary, Abbot Elementary. People always bring up the romance on The Office, because it is the blueprint. But for anyone to say they can’t do a romance in a mockumentary just because it’s a comedy is an absolute ridiculous thing.

Mind you, these two are coworkers so not the boss/employee thing Paul has been on about. But I really don’t think that’s the real reason. I think they just don’t feel like they can do Nandor/Guillermo without fart jokes, which is bad comedy writing in my opinion.

Also, I should include that the show’s treatment of Zach, who is a main character, is so refreshing. His “coming out” (which wasn’t a coming out but just letting the audience know) was amazingly handled.

It was so nonchalant and executed well in a, you know, a silly mockumentary comedy show.

Like, fucking yes to this.

Nandermo can exist in this silly comedy show. If Nadja and Lazslo can be romantically together, they can too.

It isn’t because there’s no place for romantic relationships to seriously exist in a comedy.

It’s not boss/employee dynamics.

It’s not that queer relationships wouldn’t do well in a funny show.

It’s Paul fucking Simms doesn’t want it to. He’s why.

He sure loves those fucking index cards

[otomegamesandme]

Bustafellows Review/Quick Thoughts

I finished Bustafellows at 100% and I wanted to share my thoughts on the game! This should be spoiler free, but some of things I say might count as minor spoilers just as a heads up!

CW: murder, kidnapping, suicide, drug abuse, drug addiction, human trafficking, prostitution, xenophobia, implied rape, depictions of mental illness

General Thoughts:

+I loved the group dynamic so much!! Found family and strong friendships are always my favorite thing and is one of the reasons I liked Code Realize so much. Their friendship made me really happy and helped break up the darker scenes.

+I was surprised at how short the game was? The common route took me about 4 hours to get through and the individual routes (A and B sides) took me about 2 hours. Since I just skipped through the common route after I did it once, it didn't take a lot of time to finish up the game.

+The moving backgrounds were really pretty. I loved 7'Scarlet's backgrounds for the same reason. The art in Bustafellows was really nice overall as well, although not my favorite style of all time or anything.

+Teuta was a fun main character and I liked that she had a mischievous streak. It was also nice to have an MC voiced as well as seeing her face from time to time outside of CGs.

+My main negative is that a lot of the topics and themes felt shallow? I think part of it was because it was short, so it doesn't really dive into anything beyond a surface level.

Routes:

My route ranking: Scarecrow > Mozu > Limbo/Helvetica > Shu

+Before we start, I love all the characters equally individually. They're all really interesting and a lot of fun. The rankings only reflect the actual romance/how the route was handled.

+Generally, I think how short the routes were really impacted the romance for me. I think if they'd had two chapters for the characters instead of one they could have built up the characters backstories, issues, and the romance better. It kinda felt like a speedrun for most of them.

+Listen I know everyone loves Shu but I felt like his was the worst with pacing. When they said they loved each other I was like 'wow, there was on sign of that at all.' Again, Shu as a character was great, but I think his route suffered the most from the fast pace.

+I've seen a lot of early reviews say they didn't like Helvetica but his route actually had me crying. I think of all the characters, his individual story was done the best, and I felt so bad for him the entire time. (Also that One Scene was really rough).

+Like everyone, I love Scarecrow the most. His and Teuta's friendship was so fun and their relationship was really cute and sweet. Romance wise his was my favorite, but I'm a sucker for a dynamic duo.

+Mozu...needs a hug

+Limbo's route was probably the lightest out of all the guys, and while I also enjoy friendship to lovers, his route didn't leave that much of an impression me. It wasn't bad and I enjoyed when playing it, but the details of it are already getting fuzzy.

Random Thoughts

+I liked the side characters a lot, and I like that the extra episodes focused on them and their stories. Honestly, Bustafellows stands out when it comes to the friendships, not just with the guys, but with everyone. I'm surprised at how attached I got to some of the side characters.

+Honestly it's always really refreshing to play a localized game that isn't Otomate. Otomate games all have the same vibe and I don't really realize it until I play something by another company.

Final Rating: 8/10

[the-celluloid-correspondent]

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"And in this moment I swear, we are infinite"

Based upon the acclaimed novel, an introverted freshman is taken under the wing of two seniors who welcome him into the real world.

I remember having this book on my shelf for years and I never got the chance to read it and I forgot about it, till I saw a clip of the film came into my YouTube recommendations. I remember how badly I wanted to watch the film but my parents would not let me. So I finally got around to watching this film. By god, this film hit me hard. No matter how old you are, you can still relate to the emotions present in this film, like The Breakfast Club. This film perfectly handles so many touchy subjects, such as depression, suicide, PTSD, drug and sexual abuse, and the pressure to find a sense of belonging. Stephen Chbosky crafted a film that can be related to no matter how old you are. He perfectly portrays the pressure and the abuse that goes on in high school. This film made me remember how much I hated high school because of all of the endless abuse that goes on inside schools. The mental pressure of wanting to have friends and to fit in, but end up being alone. Chbosky perfectly portrays the pressure of what it is like to be a teenager in an ever-growing world.

The acting in this film is spectacular. Logan Lerman surprised me in this film. I did not think he had the range to show all of the different kinds of emotions and mental illnesses that a teenager would go through, he proved me wrong. Lerman masterfully portrays someone who has gone through pain and trauma that no one should go through. You really route for him in this film. So when, SPOILER ALERT, when he attempts suicide your heartbreaks. His suicide attempt is one of the best handled and most realistic that I've ever seen. Emma Watson's performance also surprised me. It was nice to see her in a serious role and to outgrow that shadow that is Hermione Granger. She again like Lerman masterfully portrays the pressure of being in high school. Ezra Miller is also amazing in this film. I have friends who told me how hard it is to be gay in high school, the amount of trauma that they went through is too much for a lifetime. Miller perfectly portrays the trauma and the difficulties of being gay in school and having to hide those relationships from the outside world. He masterfully shows a joker who is truly trying to hide his pain. The chemistry between these three is truly a sight to watch.

The music choices in this film are spectacular. The needle drops really elevate many of the scenes throughout this film. When they go through the tunnel and Heroes by David Bowie hits, you can't help but feel alive. The cinematography throughout this film is also gorgeous. In the film, it feels like you are truly in the moments with many of these characters.

I feel like this film should not only be a required viewing for teenagers but also adults. It should remind us that we are all going through some kind of struggle even if it is not seen with the naked eye. To remind us to seek help whenever we feel like we are drowning. I highly recommend this film to everyone to know that you are not alone.

I am giving the Perks of Being a Wallflower an A.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out. 

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett  (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

[underworld-knight]

Barrier (Idia x F! s/o)

It was a quiet and peaceful day, you and Idia were at his dorm room, as usual, watching some anime you recommended. Ortho was helping professor Vargas with some injured students since the boy has some medical assistance his older brother programed into him. So you were alone.

Normally, Idia would freaked the fuck out to be in the same room alone with someone, specially someone he is crushing so hard on. But you guys are so used to do this, since you two met, Idia gradually starts inviting you to his room to play some games or watch something. Ortho really appreciate your company, you two make the sunshine combo that warms the poor shy guy's heart. So your presence was now a common and good thing in his life.

As the episode goes, you star to really paying attention to it, it was one of your favorite anime so total focus was essencial. Idia was extremely focused as well, eyes almost never blinking as he bit his blue tinted lips unconsciously. As the climax of the show goes on, you felt that excitement that always come when you watch it no matter how many times, as for him, he gasped and you could feel how static he was as he mumbled how amazing that episode was.

Both of you decided to continue the show later and eat something (in his room, of course). As the nice person you are, standing up to snatch some candy for him, Idia starts admiring you without noticing. How you move, how you tuck some strands of hair behind your ear, just how you are so peaceful but at the same time so fierce sometimes. God help him when he starts to daydream about you, all the memories you've made and all the possibilities the future holds really weights in his chest. Is it anxiety? But it feels good... maybe is hope and excitement? What are you doing with this man?

"Hey Idia, something happen?" you asked softly to not startle him. "W-w-what? O-oh it's really nothing. I... just the sick feeling to have class with Mr. Cater tomorrow" He was almost proud he came with an excuse and a side joke in the same phrase. You giggled, which made him more flustered "aw don't say that, he is just wants to be friendly." "T-that's the issue... if he could just leave me alone, I could like him more." "Hey, I know he gives you a hard time sometimes but look at the bright side! With him, your insecurity with being hated from everyone is proved false" You grinned.

With that, Idia reminded all the times you helped him with his fears, anxiety and depressed thoughts. He couldn't understand how someone whom excitement was similar as Mr. Kalim would tag along with a shut in like him. It kind of annoyed him at first, he tried to push you away and you noticed his discomfort and backed away immediately, for his relief but also... disappointment? Sometimes the guy doesn't even understand himself.

---

However one day, and he could still feel the guilt crept back in his mind, he saw you crying in secret in a isolated section in the library. Frozen in place, the blue haired guy just kept staring at you. Of course, everyone has a bad day and the right to be sad, but see you in such a state was somehow wrong. I mean, you are Mrs. Cheerful!! The way you looked so hurt and at the same time so used to this feeling was something Idia would never imagined to see. He didn't realize at how long he was staring at you (and later he found out it's an effect you have on him), until the same girl flinched at his presence, wiping furiously the tears away as you apologize for the situation and offering a weak smile.

That broke his heart

He immediately tried to excuse himself and at the same time saying it's okay and he should be the one apologizing for being such a creep, resulting in a stuttering mess. Okay, now you definitely think he is a weirdo, a low life scumbag. Whatever, he was used to this. But you just started giggling softly.

"I am not laughing at you, it's just funny... Oh, you need some book in specific? Sorry... I am troubling you again right? I shall leave now" "Wait!" Idia exclaimed, cursing himself mentally, how is he supposed to handle a conversation HE started. "Um... I mean..." Taking out his tablet, with that the guy could speak some proper words. "You are not troubling me I was just surprised. I should leave n-" "Whoa! How can you type so fast?? And the voice is so smooth!! It's like, so real!" "Hm?" "Lilia told me Ignihyde was famous for the crazy technology you guys do, but seeing in real life is just amazing!"

Did she was impressed by a voice synthesizer? There is such a variety of "crazy technology" his dorm has made, the voice synthesizer was merely child's play in his perspective.

"Um, yes. Actually this is one of the versions I made for myself. For my little brother I add the ability to sing as well." Oh no... He was getting into the conversation "Really? That's so cool! It's like a vocaloid... right?" You asked shyly Hold on, hold on, did you just said vocaloid? And you mention it in front of the biggest otaku NRC has ever admitted? Idia's eyes lit up as he grinned. "So you know vocaloids!? You can say something like that, well I mean  there's a lot of difference compared to the softwares and even the quality of the sound. I tried to do Ortho's voice as smooth as possible, specially with the high notes he mentioned to me, it was a little troublesome but fun nonetheless. Ah the world of artificial voices is so vast, I could even build-"

It was that moment that Idia knew - He fucked up

He talked too much, and now that potencial friend was weirded out by his passion. He could really blame you? Anyone in their right mind would be. He should just go to his dorm and sulk for the day.

"Hm? What happened? Are you okay?" "AH! It was nothing, sorry... I just get carried away with the subject" "Yeah! And it was so cool! I would really love to see some of your work, for real!" "W-w-what?"  he was so caught off guard he even said out loud instead of using the device "Oh... I didn't mean to intrude or anything. You don't have to show it. I was just really into in what you were saying."

Back with his tablet, Idia invited his "new friend" to see some projects he has in his room. Of course, the meeting was online, but you didn't mind. You truly understand his anxiety since you have some troubles with yourself. Troubles he did asked some months after you met. You now was his sunshine, his player-2, even if those nicknames were a secret. 

A secret he will never have the courage to tell. And so he believed.

---

Back at the current situation, you sit back on his bed and handed him the candy. as both bodies were almost touching, Idia was far away in his own thoughts, he remembered when you told about your insecurities, how your mind just screams how worthless you really are, of how many time the thought about death was endearing. His chest was heavy as he pictured the hot tears falling from your beautiful eyes.

"I didn't mean to ruin the mood, sorry... We can go back to the game again."

That sentence just filled him with dread.

So many times you helped him with HIS insecurities and anxiety attacks. You were the first person, aside his family, to really give a try to understand his weirdness.

"I-I-I..." "Or maybe I overwhelmed you with all this. You have your problems, I don't want to trouble you with my nonsense" "Stop it!"

Your eyes widen at the sudden exclamation.

"Don't you ever say that again to me. How can your problems be nothing more than nonsense? Are serious? I wish I could be as strong as you! Not only you try your best to be a decent person in this godforsaken school, but you have the guts to open your heart like that!"

As your whole body frozen in shock at how he spoke those words without the aid of his tablet.

"Idia..." tears still falling down but your face lit up little by little "thank you so much"

He wants to hug you, but he knew he'd just make a fuss and ruin the mood. You respected that, after all it was already warm in your heart. And after that incident, you grew closer to one another, Idia taught you how to play some games so you two could spend the day playing together. Ortho was so happy now his big bro found someone who makes everything interesting, he could almost not contain his happiness when you invited him to play at the courtyard, he could hug you all day. You were really his big bro's sunshine.

"Hey?" You called softly, a little concern with the blue haired guy lost gaze "Oh! Yeah! Sorry, I spaced out...again" "Hmmmm, hope it is not about how the show is going to end. You sir are too good to get yourself a spoiler." "Heh, in other words, I am pretty smart" Idia teased, he really loved at how he can be playfully confident. You didn't judge him so he felt more at ease to be himself. "Don't get too cocky Mr. Shroud" you teased back

Maybe onde day, Idia will say those words he so much want to tell you. Who knows, step by step. As your "friendship" grows, his fears will fade away eventually.

[roselightfairy]

On the topic of hurt/comfort fics, do we have any Gimli/Legolas hurt comfort fics where Legolas is the one that needs comforting? Like dealing with his sea-longing and needing snuggles or he's pushing himself too hard and Gimli needs to remind him to sleep/take care of himself because even the tireless have limits, or Legolas crying over anything in general and Gimli coming to the rescue?

All right, so there are a lot more of these out there than the Gimli ones. We as a fandom do love our Legolas whump, and it was tough to cut down this list – but I tried to go for more the emotional side of h/c, which is a favorite of mine for the two of them. (Gimli physically injured; Legolas in emotional distress – that’s where it’s at!) A physical h/c fic or two did slip in, though, so I divided these into three main sections: one that deals with sea-longing, one that deals with war-related trauma, and one “other” category. As a reminder, this is not a catch-all list – again, Legolas might well be the whole fandom’s favorite whumpee – but these are some of the ones that first popped up in my mind at your request.

Sea-longing:

and yet the sea calls (series) by Laura JV (jacquez)

Summaries: [Gimli/Legolas] loves, and yet the sea calls.

…

This is a set of lovely vignettes (two stories, one from Legolas’s perspective and one from Gimli’s) about learning to live and love with the sea-longing between them, and to find comfort in one another as best they can. These stories make me feel so very many feelings and are constant rereads when I want to feel the bittersweet (but mostly sweet!) that is their love.

A Beloved Ballast, an Untethered Soul by katajainen

Summary: Gimli has spent long months on the new gates of Minas Tirith, all the while waiting for Legolas to return to him from the North.

But when he does, it's clear the year has not been altogether kind to his husband.

…

This is one of my favorites of a lot of things – a wonderful, gentle reunion in Minas Tirith after their separation after the war, Legolas worn from sea-longing and finally finding home in his husband’s arm, warm comfort and some very romantic smut. Please read it; you will not regret it.

Everything That Mattered Is Dust by SerStolas

Summary: A decade ago, the One Ring was destroyed. A decade ago, Gimli and Legolas traveled together first to the Glittering Caves and then to Fangorn. A decade ago, both of them failed to admit their deeper emotions for each other. Now they meet again in Minas Tirith during renovations on the city. But not all is well with Legolas.

Inspired by Through the Ghost by Shinedown.

…

This is another lovely story with a similar theme to the previous – but without the established relationship, so we get a very sweet love confession instead. Very gentle and loving and satisfying; this gets me right in the hurt/comfort feelings. <3

Where You Go, I Will Go by UnnamedElement

Summary: Lady Galadriel's message was a riddle too twisted for a Wood-elf and a Dwarf to initially unwind... This is a story of a friendship fraught with mutual ignorance: the concessions a dwarf makes to an elf, and the choices that elf makes for their peculiar friendship. It is how Legolas and Gimli pass through the threat of death to find, together, a better truth. (March 2016 Teitho)

…

Look, I don’t know if this is hurt/comfort as such, but it certainly comforts ME to read. This is a lovely little exploration of the sea-longing and how it changes Legolas and Gimli’s friendship – and in fact brings them closer together. It’s gen, nominally, but it’s so tender you won’t miss the romance (and I feel comfortable saying that because of multiple conversations with @unnamedelement on the subject!).

The Language of Power by Thewriternumber19238478356

Summary: It's the night before the march on the Black Gate. But sea-longing won't let Legolas sleep. Gimli offers him a secret dwarven practice that might just be the solution…

…

This is an underappreciated and really wonderful story, but contains some non-sexual BDSM, so be warned for that. It’s extremely tender and plays with the notion of power in dominance/submission with respect and love for the practice and the characters. It’s archive-locked, so you’ll need an account to read it, but I really do have such love for this story and I highly recommend it.

War-related:

A Night Beclouded by katajainen

Summary: Night falls after the fighting is done on the Pelennor Fields. For those left alive, it should be an hour for respite, for catching one's breath.

But there is the kind of darkness that seeps under one's skin, the kind not born of mere absence of sunlight, and this is not a time to be alone.

…

This is such quiet, atmospheric tenderness – comforting someone after a nightmare is such a wonderful trope, and @katajainen does it with all her usual sensitivity and care. A bit of pre-relationship sweetness and warm comfort – and honestly, it was a struggle to keep it to two fics by katajainen on this list; please go read all her stories!

Shared Spaces by mssileas

Summary: I know you think I'm a little different But I'm still somebody's son.

The night before marching on the Black Gate, neither of them can sleep.

…

Okay, so I adore this fic. I have a soft spot for any fics that focus on how Legolas must feel about Sauron and the origin of orcs, and this is a wonderful fic that deals with those ideas, as well as pre-battle anxiety, and Legolas and Gimli taking comfort in one another. Lots of lovely hand-touching and some very sweet kissing, too. <3

A time and times and half a time by Honesty

Summary: AU. Legolas, imprisoned by Saruman, discovers *exactly* how Orcs were made .... While Gimli keeps a vigil he will never forget.

…

Similar themes as the last one, though taken WAY over the edge past hurt/comfort and into serious hurt territory. Be careful with this one, because there’s a lot of pain for Legolas – warning for physical and psychological torture - but the love between him and Gimli is so powerful and all-consuming, it carries the story and provides the much-needed comfort at the end, though you’ll probably still be aching.

Comfort after Endurance by spinel

Summary: The battle of Helm's Deep takes its toll on Legolas. A stolen moment between the end of the battle at Helm's Deep and riding to Isengard.

…

Pre-relationship sweetness, comfort after battle. This one skirts the lines of physical and emotional hurt/comfort, combining the two with the soothing effect of touch and closeness after great trials. Lots of tender handling of one another – no explicit relationship content, but definitely little hints of more to come here and there. ;)

Other:

inkstains by apricae

Summary: Legolas isn't much good at reading, and an attempt at a learning his letters with Gimli turns into a revelation.

(Or: The one in which Legolas is dyslexic and sad, Gimli is a very good husband, and Dwarves are a lot better than Elves at handling disabilities.)

…

I am very big on neurodivergent Legolas in all its forms, and I love this dyslexic-Legolas headcanon a lot. Emotional distress and childhood trauma – but luckily, Legolas has a very kind, loving dwarf husband to talk him down and help him through.

Tainted Meat by lynndyre

Summary: On the road between Helm's Deep and Isengard, mistakes are made with supplies.

For the BloodyValentine prompt: someone feeds orc food to an elf, making them really sick.

…

This is one of my favorite underappreciated fics out there – I find that it really gets the way Legolas and Gimli are portrayed once they start meeting up with armies and other men: they are a bubble of two, responsible for one another’s comfort and supporting one another without question. In this fic, Legolas (and half the Rohirrim) are struck with food poisoning, and while the men deal with the aftermath, Legolas is so very much Gimli’s charge, and it’s so tender and lovely and wonderful. Gen, nominally, but it gets the particular something between them in canon that I so love. (It also fits with a line Gimli says in Two Towers about refusing to touch any orc supplies!)

 Teeth Like Knives by Evandar

Summary: Gimli wasn't expecting to have to stitch Legolas back together after their first attempt at lovemaking, but now that the initial shock has worn off, he can't say that he's surprised.

…

This is part of a larger series that involves half-orc Legolas, and all of it has some very wonderful emotional hurt/comfort. But this is my favorite of the series because of how good and gentle and wonderful Gimli is with Legolas’s existential crises and hurting himself on accident. Please do mind the tags, since this subject matter may not be for everyone, but I adore the sensitivity with which these topics are handled and reread this for comfort. <3

…

As always, if you enjoy any of these fics, please let the author know with a comment if you have capacity! Also, I encourage you to reblog this list so that we can spread the good word. :)

[cutest-bug]

Interview with Adrien Agreste! Subject: The Oxygen Project.

Conducted by Alya Cesaire

Ok so I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this addition to a post I made on my main blog about Adrien low key trashing the Agreste brand the way Robert Pattinson does Twilight. I know it was meant to be more of a goofy idea but my head is full of angst and this is what I came up with at 4 a.m. lol.

Alya smiles warmly as Adrien settles into the seat across from her.

“Are you ready?” She asks. He gives her a slightly nervous smile but nods. She nods to Nino who hits record and Adriens face immediately smoothes over into a pleasant and unreadable mask. It’s actually a little freaky to watch.

It’s a Monday afternoon and they’re set up in the art room during their lunch period. Adrien looks as perfectly neutral as always. Non flashy designer labels and tousled hair that probably took 20 minutes to style. For once though, his actions will be a little less perfect and easy to swallow.

“Hi Adrien, thanks for agreeing to an interview on the Ladyblog, I’m glad we could finally do this.”

He smiles and considers for a moment before answering, tiling his head a degree, “The pleasure is mine Alya, especially since I’m the one who approached you about doing this.”

That’s true. Right after the class joined Mylene and Ivan for their protest of the Oxygen Project Adrien asked to speak with her. He was upset that he had been tricked into modeling for the project without knowing what it was for. While most of his die hard fans had gotten wind he didn’t support it, he wanted to farther remedy the situation and use his position to reach a wider audience. Of course there weren’t many platforms he could do that on behind his fathers back, hence asking for Alya’s help.

“Still, I know interviews aren’t your favorite. Otherwise I probably would have asked you a while ago.”

Adrien smiled again, a little more genuinely (the one she knew Marinette was so fond of), “I don’t really like probing questions from journalists about my personal life. The fact that you’ve never asked or taken advantage of knowing me means a lot. I trust you.”

“Personally I think it’s a little crazy you have to do all of those interviews at all. You’re only 15, your life shouldn’t be so public.”

Adrien lets the smile fall several degrees. It’s deliberate, he’s letting people see his discomfort, “Well, it kind of goes hand and hand with all of the modeling. I’m the face of the Agreste brand.”

Alya nods and looks down at the papers in her lap, “Which is the point of our interview today, really.” They had agreed on what was and wasn’t to be talked about before hand, however they don’t have a planned out dialogue. They agreed that they both do well with more organic conversation, and it’s important the interview comes off as very genuine.

Adrien nods in agreement and Alya continues, “Now that the plan for the Oxygen Project is officially canceled, it’s time to clear up what your involvement with the promotion of it was. Nearly everyone in Paris saw the ads that ran.” Unfortunately it had been to late for Mayor Bourgeois to cancel the first few days of ads. For nearly a week Adriens face played on every television in the city, telling everyone about what a great breath of fresh air the project would be.

Alya hands him the first photo in her lap. It’s of him with the class after they first arrived at the protest, looking interested but not particularly emotional yet. It’s from the video that she filmed, but there was a pretty low view rate on the protest coverage. The interview with Adrien will probably get anywhere from 3 to 5 times as many.

“What not everyone realizes is that you were present during the planned tree cutting ceremony and following protest. So what was going on for you at this point in the day Adrien?”

“Our whole class had just gone to the park to support Mylene and Ivan, our friends who lead the protest. Right after we arrived Mylene started arguing with the Mayor about whether the project was good for the environment or not.”

“That girl has a hidden fire!” Alya adds, “I have a section dedicated to activism on the blog now. The video from the whole day is there but I also posted some smaller segments explaining the conflict and a few more that Mylene recommended on how to get involved.”

Adrien gave his most genuine smile yet, “I watched those! I hope your viewers take the time to check them out. I know the super hero fights are exciting, I mean I’ve been glued to your blog from the start, but I’m glad people like Mylene and Ivan are reminding us to keep our eyes on the big picture too.”

Alya nods, “So am I. Ok, it was during this argument that the ad was first shown correct?”

Adrien lets the smile fall completely this time, “Yes. Apparently the plan was always to air it for the first time during the tree cutting ceremony. It was also the first time I’d seen it.”

“I’m sure most of our viewers have seen it already, so I’m not going to play it now,” Adrien shoots her a grateful look, “Adrien, she says kindly, “I remember how surprised you were when the ad played. Do you want to tell everyone why?”

Adrien looks down at his hands, “I hadn’t known what the ad was for when I filmed it. I thought it was another one of those silly perfume commercials.” Alya isn’t sure if him saying “silly” was a slip up or on purpose but she struggles not to laugh.

“Did someone tell you it was a perfume commercial or did you just assume when you were given the script?”

“I was told it was for perfume.”

“Can I ask who by?”

She thinks the discomfort is genuine this time. Everything else is the video isn’t that bad, but this line could bring hell for him.

“My father told me it was.”

This isn’t news for Nino or Alya but she pauses for a long moment to let viewers digest that before asking her next question, “Do you know why he lied to you?”

“I suppose he thought I wouldn’t be ok with doing it otherwise.”

Alya smiles, a little proud, before handing him another picture. She’ll edit them into the screen for viewers to see later, “Well he thought correctly. Here’s a picture of you standing with Mylene and our friend Marinette, forming a physical barrier so the trees wouldn’t be cut down,” she pauses for a moment while Adrien examines the picture, “I gotta say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so angry.”

“I had just found out my image was going to be used to promote an anti-ecological plan that would harm our city. My friends had spent months trying to prevent it. I was furious.”

And Bam! As soon as she posts this video Adrien’s empty head, pretty face, good boy persona is shattered. He just admitted to having feelings. Angry ones. Directed at his father. Not to mention opinions on political matters. That is not the pretty face most of Paris is familiar with and fawns over.

“I’d be angry too,” Alya sympathizes.

Adrien puts the photo down and looks at her with a serious expression, “That’s the main reason I wanted to do this interview. For better or worse I have a lot of sway with my fans and public opinion. There’s still some controversy about the Oxygen Project being canceled so I want to be very clear that I do not stand with it,” he looks directly into the camera, “The oxygen project would have only helped the people profiting from it. The only ethical solutions for our city, and the whole world, are complicated, long term, sustainable options that will protect and rejuvenate our planet. No one has said it better than Mylene and Ivan so please go check out those videos under the activism section. Help if you can, and spread the word about the truth. It’s important that people know when they’re being lied to by a corporate campaign.”

Alya realized she stopped breathing for a moment because oh my god that was so good. She manages to quietly clear her throat and thank Adrien for the interview again. He plasters back on his polite smile and they give a brief hug before she gestures to Nino to stop filming.

“OH MAN! That was awesome!” Nino pulls Adrien into a one armed hug and doesn’t let go.

Adrien smiles a little bashfully, “You think? It wasn’t to much?”

“No way Adrien,” Alya cuts in, “the whole thing was great but that bit at the end? Amazing. Mylene will be thrilled.”

Nino pulls away from their friend a bit and clasps his shoulder, “Are you going to be ok though? Your old man is not going to be cool with like, any of that, is he?”

Adrien purses his lips and shrugs, “Don’t worry about my dad, I can handle him.”

Alya can see the fake nonchalance a mile away. Marinette is the queen of it after all, so she tells him, “Adrien this is really brave of you but I just want to make sure you know you’re in charge of this narrative. I probably won’t finish editing everything until tomorrow because I have a project to finish tonight. If you change your mind there’s no hard feelings. Or if there’s something you decide you want left out I’ll work some editing magic.”

Adrien smiles but her words don’t seem to relieve any tension, “Thanks Alya, it means a lot. By the way, where’s Marinette? I thought she was coming?”

“She’s probably just got caught up with something but I’ll see if she messaged me.” Alya checks her phone and realizes she left it on silent after the test last period. No texts from Marinette, but there is an akuma alert which explains her absence. She tries to ignore the immediate twinge of worry.

Adrien suddenly looks up from his own phone and rushes to grab his bag, “I actually got to go, my dad wants me home until the akuma attack is over. Best keep my head down until the bomb drops tomorrow right?” He rushes out before Alya or Nino can respond.

Nino sighs after his best friend runs out, “It’s so unfair he’s having to rectify his dad’s bad choices.”

Alya takes his hand, “I know. Something tells me this won’t be the last time he does so either. We’ll be there to support him though.” Her boyfriend gives her a soft smile and she kisses him on the cheek, “Come on, I want footage of that akuma fight.”

Nino glances down at his phone, “Actually it looks like the fight just ended a minute ago.”

“Wow that was short. It couldn’t have gone longer than the ten minutes we did the interview with Adrien for.”

“You’ll catch the next one,” he grins at her, “one way or another.”

She laughs, “okay turtle boy, let’s go get some lunch before we have to head back to class.”

They run into a slightly dejected Adrien on the way. He gives them an interview smile. They all find Marinette and get lunch. They keep the conversation light and avoid talking about the bomb Alya’s going to post tomorrow.

This is self indulgent. I really need Adrien taking some control of his life and standing up to his dad. Yes it’s painful but it’s so important that Adrien puts some distance between them in the public eye before Gabriel is revealed as Hawkmoth. I’m just hoping that can actually happen in canon but I have many fears this season.

[mrsparknamjoon]

02. family matters | reliability • kth

previous | index | next

pairing: taehyung x reader word count: 2.155 genre: drama, light angst rating: pg-13 warnings: none au: ceo/office trope: enemies to friends to lovers tags: ceo!taehyung, office!au, best friend!yoongi, unresolved emotional tension, mutual pining, slow burn crosspost: ao3

summary: let’s go back a few years to see how tae and Y/N’s relationship started and also get a glimpse into the kim family

A/N: it was important for me to start the series with a flasback so that the reader would be familiar with the kim family dynamics and the tension with Y/N right off the bat

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

10 years before

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

“There has to be someone else” I said, staring at the Seoul skyline in front of me as I pondered all the possibilities with hands in my pockets. I'm taking over the family business and the only thing that scares me is making a mistake when hiring people. Well, my dad scares me, and getting a complaint call from him questioning how I managed to ruin Vante Enterprises in less than 6 months of his long-awaited retirement is not in my plans.

“Why?” asked the woman sitting on the large and comfortable couch behind me. Her thin face and dark hair complemented her porcelain skin very well and she was, at all times, the most beautiful person in any room.

“She’s inadequate” I replied, making her roll her eyes.

“Nonsense, Tae Hyung. Y/N graduated at the top of her class, in front of you much less, and did an MBA abroad” the woman said nonchalantly while taking a sip of her tea.

“I meant in regards to the company's culture” I sat down next to her, leaning sideways on the back of the couch and resting my head on my hand.

“Oh right” she set the cup down on the coffee table, “I forgot that you Kims only hire who you can control”

“Mom!”

“Honey, this is your opportunity to differentiate yourself from your father” she continued, “Having someone you know in a position like this is important in the long run”

At least in one thing my mom and I could agree on: I would, without a doubt, run the company in a new way. I had already started by choosing people who were suitable for the positions and not because I knew them or my family had some kind of connection with theirs. If, by chance, these two factors intersected, great, otherwise, the best resume wins.

“Known is not the same as reliable” I observed.

Still not satisfied with my answer, my mom got philosophical. “Trust comes with time” she started in a tone as if she wanted to pass for a spiritual being of great wisdom, but I knew she was just trying to be a good mom despite not knowing the exact details of what the family business required.

“I still have six more resumes appointed by someone I know” I leaned over to the coffee table and picked up the papers. “Two of them are former classmates too. How about that?” I waved them back and forth.

“If I remember correctly, neither of them made you stutter for the first time in an academic debate” my mom made a pose like she was thinking, crossing her arms and bringing one hand to her chin. How dramatic... and a liar. I didn't stutter.

“Yup, I think it's time for you to go” I exhaled, slapping my hands on my thighs and standing up. “Thank you very much for coming and giving your input on a subject I did not ask for” I continued in an amusing tone, but low-key serious, taking her by the hand and guiding her towards the door.

“Tae Hyung, you know that Y/N is the right choice” she moved the bag handle over her shoulder. “Be smart” and caressed my face.

“Okay” I sighed, “I love you” and kissed her forehead.

“I love you too” she smirked and left.

I went back to the couch and grabbed the resumes intending to read them one more time to be absolutely sure that I had not missed any relevant information. Very conveniently the first one was Y/N’s.

“She did it on purpose” I thought out loud when I realized my mom had deliberately put it there so I couldn't ignore it. 

Very well then, I started reading Y/N’s resume with legitimate attention, trying to ignore the name and photo at the top. I needed to be objective and impartial, a lot was at stake, but to be completely honest, at first, it was difficult because she has some striking physical features, which most men would find attractive but that was not my case. And even if it was, her personality overshadowed everything else to the point of making me lose any interest. After my common sense settled in, I continued reading, paying close attention to her previous work experiences.

“Hmm, this is interesting” I mumbled to myself.

Unlike the other candidates, Y/N had interned at one of the largest financial institutions in the country during college - something I had no idea, by the way, but not that we were friends back then, of course, because why would she tell me something like that? I really had no way of knowing - and I'm looking for people with experience in acquisitions. Convenient coincidence, I like it.

Moving on, I analyzed two letters of recommendation along with her resume and I must agree that on paper she is the right person. Damn it, I hate it when my mom is right! Still, the matter of company culture is real and I think that a person like her wouldn’t do well here. She is opinionated, impulsive, and hates being told ‘no’. At the same time, she was praised for the exact opposite in the letters, and that made me curious. An interview wouldn't hurt, would it?

I got up, went over to my desk, and pressed the button that put me in direct contact with the secretary.

“Yes, Mr. Kim?” Eun Ae answered promptly.

“I need to schedule some interviews next week” I said while fiddling through the resumes and selecting three, “I’ll email you the information”

“Yes, sir”

“Ah, Mrs. Gwa?” I almost forgot. It was better to hide my identity, otherwise, they’ll try sucking up to me thinking it would affect my final decision. And by 'they' I mean two of the three people because Y/N most likely wouldn't even accept the invitation if she knew that I was in charge of the company. “When contacting the candidates, I ask you not to divulge that I'll be the one conducting the interview”

“Okay” she wrote down and I could hear the sound of her keyboard. “Anything else?”

“No, that's all. Thank you”

Between today and the day of the interview, I had to prepare myself for the different reactions I might receive. My position as CEO has not yet been announced in the media and only shareholders know that a new person will take over at the end of the year. They suspect it will be my older brother, or rather, they expect it to be him but to the general dismay it will be me.

Ye Jun is a lawyer and has been involved in the family business since he started reading. However, two years ago in the middle of Christmas dinner, he had a breakdown when my uncles pressured him about some specific problem happening inside the company and he totally lost his composure (with a little help from alcohol, of course). He made a scene screaming that he didn't want that life anymore or even see any of those people again. Then he went on about how much he hated their meetings and the way everyone was fake in front of my father and in private would even criticize the color of the tie he wore. From the corner of the living room, I watched the whole thing go down without a hint of shock on my face because I always knew that moment would come. Ye Jun wasn’t born to be a leader.

The next day, he and my father were locked in the office for almost three hours. When the heavy wooden doors finally opened, dad left looking tired and announced without looking me in the eye, “Now it's up to you, Tae Hyung.” Confused by that statement, I went in and saw Ye Jun with his head between his hands, sitting in the armchair by the window.

“What the hell did you say to him?” I pointed my thumb back at the door.

“That I’m not doing it” Ye Jun replied, lifting his head and interlacing his hands. His posture seemed relaxed as if he were finally comfortable, although there was an uncertainty in his eyes that made me wonder if he was having second thoughts about the decision.

“Do what?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

Ye Jun looked at me and smiled.

“Give in to the pressure, complying with expectations, sacrificing my profession, not being myself”

He paused, standing up and holding me by the shoulders.

“I also told him that the best person for the position is you” Ye Jun's voice was full of affection, “It has to be you, Tae” he patted me on the side and I looked at him stunned.

“Dad will never put me ahead of Vante, Jun” I blurted as soon as I managed to assimilate what my brother had just said.

“Didn't you hear what he said to you as soon as he left?” Ye Jun looked confused for a second “Now it's up to you. You are the next CEO” he said in a firm tone.

I suddenly got embarrassed because it felt like I had just stolen my brother's job. “It doesn't make sense, we have opposite views on how to run a business” I looked away and stared at the floor.

“True, you do, but lately he started to realize that the world is changing and that Vante could be much better off if it started to adapt” Ye Jun stated by squeezing my shoulders and bringing me back to reality. “Of course, there is still a certain traditionalism in our field, but every now and then dad finds himself negotiating with foreign companies where the mindset is what sets them apart and he feels conflicted. Do you continue as you are and please national companies or do you adapt and gain visibility abroad? He wants Vante to remain as the leader in the segment but he is stuck in his own beliefs and he knows it”

After this conversation with my brother, things changed and I started to accept more confidently the responsibility that was placed upon me. However, regardless of how I felt, the criticism would come in full force. Many powerful people will question my father's decision and I wouldn’t be surprised if boycotts took place in the first year.

It was with all these possibilities in mind that my first act as CEO was to completely renew the staff, starting with the most strategic positions and closest to me. One of them was the operations manager, who would act as my right hand, valuing Vante's financial success and setting in motion the vision, strategic plan, and goals I set.

In theory, Y/N was perfect for it, but I wouldn't make it easier just because we knew each other. She was very smart and I was sure that the moment she walked through that door and came face to face with me, her demeanor would change and we would start playing a game of chess.

******

I dedicated the entire day Wednesday for the interviews and the first two had gone very well, exactly as I had planned and prepared — what a relief! It was almost 4:30 pm, Y/N’s appointment was the last one and I was extremely curious about her reaction, I don't know why. Maybe I wanted to prove something to her, like ‘Ha, look who’s running things now’ or ‘I bet you never thought you would see me sitting here'.

Y/N was always better at everything and I couldn't stand it. I had an obligation to excel at something. She was not perfect as everyone liked to think and, frankly, to worship. But, even if it bothered me to admit, we had things in common and she was qualified.

“Yes?” I said coming out of my reverie when the phone rang.

“Ms. Y/LN is here, Mr. Kim” Eun Ae announced.

“Let her in”

I heard a light knock on the door, followed by its closing and a few clicks of high heels on the floor coming towards me. I looked up and Y/N was dressed in a black midi-length v-neck dress with a stand-up collar that made her look formal but not old. Matter of fact, if I was actually paying attention I could even say that this specific fabric was made for her body type and hugged her in all the right places, but I wasn’t.

“Hello, Y/N” I said getting up from my chair, “Long time no see!” I smiled and took off my glasses, placing them in front of me next to the tablet I had been holding moments before.

Y/N shook her head holding a laugh as she bit her lip and stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world: “You’re so predictable. I’m amused”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 ❤ 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘀𝗸! 𝗶 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ revised version: 09.25.2021

[petekaos]

Rahul! Disclaimer: this is about the Hyunjin situation, so if you don’t feel comfortable answering, then feel free ignore! Sorry, I know that you don’t post/talk much about SKZ on here. And maybe I shouldn’t even be asking for your opinion, but I’m pretty conflicted on the whole situation and have always admire how thoughtful and insightful you are. SKZ is the only group that I “stan” and like I’m sure you feel, their music means a lot to me. But I in no way condone bullying, especially as someone that’s been victim to it for most of my life. It’s completely shattered my self esteem and I don’t think that I’ll ever recover from that, so I know what a lasting impact bullying can have on someone. And while we’ll never know exactly what happened, it seem that Hyunjin severely hurt his former peer(s) with his his word/actions (though a lot of stays are denying it), and for that he should apologize. I’m a firm believer in holding people accountable while giving them the time and space to learn and grow from their mistakes. And not addressing or completely dismissing the accusations wouldn’t have done that. But that’s not what happened. Hyunjin met with and apologized to the parties involved, then posted a public apology. So I’m not sure that a indefinite suspension from SKZ activities is necessary for him to reflect (it seem like he already has), or even if that’s what it’s supposed to do. Idk, it seems sort of excessive considering the impact it’ll have on his career at that of the group as a whole. Again, I don’t want to undermine what Hyunjin did and the hurt that he caused, I just don’t see how JYP’s response “solves” the issue, it seem like it’s only making it worse. Sorry, that got sort of long 😅 Mind sharing your thoughts, kind sir?

hiii nonnie! thank you so much for reaching out, the last couple of weeks have been kind of ridiculous when it comes to skz and i don’t mind sharing my thoughts here! 

first of all, i completely agree with you. bullying is something that is indefensible and as someone who was also bullied for a good portion of their life, the dent it leaves in your self-esteem and self-worth is extremely difficult to heal again, and i will always defend the victim, as i have been doing in this situation also. that being said, it’s because we don’t have the details of the whole situation that makes it hard to gauge and to see what your opinion is. these bullying accusations already came up in 2018 and were debunked i believe, so to see that happen again and with different accusations is... definitely something. the thing is that we don’t know and will probably never know what exactly went down - we have sources saying it was a petty middle school argument, sources saying that he bullied a girl even though he went to an all boys school, we have a classmate saying hyunjin was innocent, and then we have jyp’s own response claiming that it’s hard to prove. 

so after looking at the facts, of which we have very few, my general opinion on this is that it’s... not really my place to say. korea’s bullying culture is vastly different than western bullying culture or my country’s bullying culture and even things that seem petty or ‘unimportant’ to us have heavy consequences and measures there. korean schools and culture are rooted in hierarchy and nuance that may escape us, but may be increasingly obvious to them, so really we have very different ideas on bullying. i recommend watching pd’s video on the subject, it was enlightening! 

but one thing that i can say for sure is that i, too, believe in holding people accountable while simultaneously giving them the space to grow and to prove their growth. as hyunjin was in middle school when this happened, i believe that he has proven that he has grown from... whatever happened back then. now, this doesn’t excuse what he’s done, nor am i defending him, whatever it may be, but the fact that he met up with the people involved and posted a sincere public apology (as well as his other actions throughout the years such as his consolation sessions and whatnot) is showing to me personally that he has grown up. i don’t think the decisions you make in middle/early high school should influence your life forever, especially when it comes to cultural differences and international recognition, but i do think that your actions at whatever age matter and that you should hold yourself responsible for them, no matter at what age you’ve committed them. again, this is a personal opinion and it may be different for you! 

as for the indefinite hiatus he was put on to reflect, at this point that’s just a strategy to let knetizens cool down. as said, this is serious in korea, and it was a good idea to put him on hiatus as far as i know, while it may seem a little harsh. in my opinion, that’s the only good thing jyp has done in handling this situation. as the rest of the members are already slowly trickling back from social media/sns ban, i don’t think and really hope that this hiatus won’t take long because of kingdom as well. and as for the influence this could have on his career... well, his apology has been reported by knews and also his classmates talking about his innocence has also gone viral as far as i know, so while this may have some kind of influence domestically, i still think skz have now attained too big of international recognition for them to disband (like many people are fearing, i personally think it’s irrational) or something else to happen.

all in all, i think it’s very difficult to judge this situation considering that we don’t have all the facts, but simultaneously i am glad that he has apologised for whatever it was. personally i think it was mostly blown out of proportion because jyp didn’t handle it quickly enough and also the fact that so many fake rumours were floating around that made the entire situation even fuzzier. what we do know is that this argument was in middle school and involved more people and that classmates have come out in support of him, so do with that what you will. personally i think and would like to believe that hyunjin has grown from all of that and is responsible enough to hold himself accountable for any past mistakes from not just a pr point of view, but also just a self-reflective point of view. and considering his apology, his time to reflect, and from what we know of hyunjin as a person, it seems that is correct.

[cosmicbash]

(answer only if ur comfy with answering) i’m pretty sure 3/4 of the boys (em, kells, rook, and pete) prolly self harmed, i mean the fuckers are covered in tats, i won’t be surprised if the “it looks cool” is just an excuse. how would their s/o react to the scars?

Pete:

Pete talked alot about his self harm in his interview early on this year with Charlamagne. I highly recommend anyone who likes Pete, doesnt like pete, or just wants to know who the fuck he is watches is. Its an hour long but I literally sobbed while watching it because its just so heartbreaking some of the stuff hes gone through and how deeply I can relate to alot of his struggles.

Fuck it imma link it.

But anyway. He's said he used tattooing for a while as a less destructive form of self harm because the pain from getting them done worked the same way cutting did for him. Also he had them done to cover up some of his self harm scars because he used to cut his own chest. Pete's always been very open about this kind of stuff. Especially so in the interview where he goes into a lot of explicit detail so if thats potentially triggering I would have to also recommend AGAINST watching it unfortunately.

But as for how his SO would react?

Rook would already know ahead of time about Pete's past and current self harm habits. In interviews Pete talks alot about how he "warns" his partners when they first get together about how he's "crazy" and regularly will need to take "vacations" to the mental hospital to get a handle back on things when his meds need readjusted or his mental health gets to be too much of a struggle to handle on his own with his outpatient therapy. So, by the time they're actively dating, in a serious relationship Rook would already probably have figured out what days are going to be bad ones for Pete and what he can do to help.

Like noticing Pete looking more disheveled on their facetime calls, or his jokes leaning a bit too far on the scale of self deprication. They can't always be together because of their careers and living situations (at least not until they move in together) but Rook would drop some of their usual teasing banter for the day and instead fill their conversations and calls with reassurances and check ins on what Pete might need. The most important thing for him would be making sure Pete knows he loves him and that he's not going anywhere just because Petes having a low day and acte snappy or distant.

Rook doesn't notice Pete's scars most of the time. Not unless he looks closely for them and, except during the dim quiet nights where they're laying together and his fingers are tracing the random explosion of art lining Pete's chest the drummer actually forgets they exist at all. When they first met it was hard for him to even imagine cheery, sweet always giggling Pete in such a dark space that he would do things like that but, once the proof is infront of his eyes it's hard for Rook not to feel his heart ache even before he's fallen completely in love with the man. Rarely he will find his fingers catching on a feather thin line on Pete's skin, and when they do the kiss that follows is not out of pity but one of acceptance. Pete's perfect. Even with all of his sharp edges and missing pieces. That's just more space for Rook to fit himself into to act as support.

Kells:

Kells has said similar too, I think I remember an interview with him saying he also got tatts to cover up some self harm scars (also to fight some of his body dysphoria. Which actually got heightened really badly when he had to wear all that makeup for the dirt and see himself truly 'naked' again.) Cutting himself, including on the chest like Pete has mentioned. He also drinks and does drugs to self harm and numb the pain.

The majority of his scars are hidden away by his colorful tats. The few Em discovers are like Rook, through accident. The pads of his fingers catching on a slightly different texture or a close examination of some of the blonde's artwork. Kells is less vocal than Pete. If Em presses, depending on the day he might give a detailed account for each gash or on a less comfortable night he might change the subject with a "i dunno, probably happened when i was drunk/high/a kid"

Em does his best to respect Kelly's comfort but the few scars he finds uncovered down around the blondes ankle become a favorite spot of his to hold and stroke whenever available. Theres just something about them. Maybe the strong need to "protect" that rushes through him when he touches them or it could be the almost possessive idea that while the world may know every tiny piece of art that litters his boyfriends flesh, this small patch is his and his alone to see. Like a secret held between the two of them.

Em:

Em's obviously talked about his own self harm in the past. His "slit me" wrist tattoo an unashamed statement to it. Even after he got sober and stopped doing the "usual methods" like cutting, drinking excessively, and nearly overdosing, he did struggle with starving himself or abusing his body by over exercising instead. Like Em tore his hip flexors after getting sober because of it. I'd hope that nowadays he's got a better handle on things but it wouldn't be shocking if he still struggled from time to time.

So, Kell's being a huge stan of his. Even before the beef is guaranteed to know about it. He looked up to Em and compared the similarities of their lives for years.

That doesn't make it any less jarring when they get together and he stumbles upon the scars though.

The faint faded lines across Em's wrists he expects. Even the almost undetectable jagged line along the older rapper's scalp from his childhood bully is something he knows enough about to immediately place. But the paler crossing lines he spots one day between Em's thighs are what make them all feel "real" and less like some tiny little trivia fact he read in a magazine, heard in an interview, a song. Them and Em's quiet almost reluctant admission of their placement being the only true "private" space he thought he could use crushing the final leg on the unreachable pedestal a younger Kells had placed the man up on. Allowing him to actually see Em. To fall in love with him.

From that moment on Kells hands find themselves glued there every time they go to sleep. It doesn't matter the position. Big spoon or little spoon he will twist his wrist or arm to curl one hand around the soft flesh of Em's inner thigh. Just to feel them against his palm or to sleepily stroke with his thumb.

Sure, it might be a little like how his knowledge of them tickles that posessive side he and Em both share. But, it's actually mostly just because Kelly finds them beautiful. Scars have always been attractive to him and every bitter huff or dismissal of how they're ugly or childish from Em just makes him want to kiss and stroke them more.

Rook:

I unfortunately don't know much about Rook's history with self harm. Its reasonable to assume he shares the same "drown your sorrows" habits kells and Pete have/did. And from what I've seen and learned about him through his lives and just following his social media I couldnt speculate one way or another.

Regardless any kind of scars Pete might discover on Rook would be treated with care. Lots of soft fluttered kisses and gentle brushes of fingers.

Pete wouldn't pry. Current Rook and the risk of any future scars are far more important to him. If Rook wants to share or talk about them he's of course eager to be there for him to listen and support. And even though he knows the struggle with mental health and jow unavoidable some heartache and pains may be that doesn't stop him from feeling any less grief over not meeting Rook sooner to prevent the drummer from experiencing some of it.

And ahh its almost 1:30 am anon 🥺🥺 sorry I got a little carried away with this ask. I hope it's close to the type of answer you wanted but I'm gonna cut it here because I'm hitting a wall.

[geekcavepodcast]

Game REVIEW | The Medium

Have you ever encountered a game that’s really good, but you just can’t make yourself finish it because, frankly, you’re worried about your mental health?

I give you The Medium.

You follow two characters with the gift to exist both in the “material” and spiritual worlds at the same time: Marianne and Thomas. The game starts with Marianne having to not only dress her adopted father for his funeral, but send his spirit off to the next realm. So really really uplifting, only not at all. 

A big chunk of the game takes place at a resort in Poland, where a massacre took place. You must not only give rest to the souls trapped in-between realms, but find the truth about what happened, and also the truth about your own abilities.

The spirit realm and the material world exist on-screen simultaneously at some points, individually at others. You spend your time looking for clues and solving puzzles, occasionally avoiding or fighting off smaller monsters, and actively avoiding bigger ones like the Maw, which is terrifying and will definitely murder you if it can get ahold of you... which it will, at least once or twice.

The game delves into some seriously dark stuff. I’m talking bad things happening to kids, in addition to adults. There are lots of trigger warnings for this one, which - to the devs’ credit - are displayed before you begin playing. Still, it also handles the subject matter in a mature way, as well as concepts like the soul and the afterlife. 

Graphically, The Medium is impressive. I played on both an Xbox Series S and a high-end gaming laptop and there was honestly not too much of a difference so Series S version should be more than good enough if you can’t find a Series X or a PS5. The audio is stunning, especially if you’re playing with a headset, with haunting melodies, little cues to let you know if you’re close to a clue or a puzzle solution, and so on. 

This was the first game from Bloober Team that I’ve played or even been aware of, but it’s clear that they know what they’re doing. It’s very well put together and normally I would recommend this one. However, if you are a parent of a young child, or if you are averse to stories that are pretty horrific and touch on some pretty serious topics, maybe give this one a rental first. 

[phynali]

I don't know if you're apart of the Supernatural fandom, but if you are, could you do a speech analysis for Dean Winchester? Thank you.

I am! I’ve fallen into (back) into SPN hell recently and gotten a ton of feels I did not expect, thank you very damn much. But anyway, yes I am happy to oblige. 

Dean’s voice is very distinct, but I can see why it’s hard to grapple with for many writers because very seldom does he say what he means and very often when he does it’s wrapped up in humour or pain. It’s often quippy as a means of deflecting emotion or maintaining a status quo or emotional handle over a situation. He uses commands and charm and pop culture references but he’s a very complex character so sometimes that all disappears and he’s open and vulnerable and raw, and those lines can be hard to draw.

-

Notes 

To understand Dean’s focal speech patterns, we first to recognize that we’ve known Dean for 15 years, and that people’s modes of speaking can and will change over time. We’re gonna focus on things that have stayed more or less consistent over time, and his ‘base’ speech patterns that make his dialogue him. I’ll mostly shy away from different eras but may highlight a few things, and the same goes for who he’s talking to because he’s pretty similar with his only major differences being a function of closeness. He’s not much of a conversational mimic so we don’t have to worry about that. 

We’re also gonna state the obvious and contrast the type of conversation he might be having - whether he’s tied up or in danger vs. expressing emotions vs. focused on the job. That’s probably where the meat of this is for people who are interested in these kinds of analyses anyway :)

Also - this is 4200 words so I’m sure there are typos so just acknowledging that up front.

-

Sentence Style

Let’s start with overall style.

Dean’s speech is generally straightforward (when he’s not being referential) with a low proportion of adjectives and a decent amount of degree modifiers (more on that below). He uses simple sentences with clear statements, though will add clauses to clarify, reference, or add degree fairly frequently. 

For example:

”Like you said” is acting here as a way to refer back to a previous conversation. Dean does this more when he’s stating something not about himself/his subjective experience, but stating an absolute (or at least something to be taken as absolute). 

Also something to point out about this example: like I said he uses shorter, simpler sentences. While that isn’t always true of course, it definitely it is the case that he doesn’t tend toward long, breathless sentences. Even here he could have said this in one sentence and instead split it into two concrete points. A person could transcribe it differently (”Like you said, we’re family, and we don’t leave family behind.”) but he tends to speak in this manner that implies full stops between these separate statements. 

(Later I’m gonna completely contradict myself by talking about his longer statements btw. He tends to use longer sentences in more serious conversations, and includes clauses that qualify the statement).

-

Declarative I-Statements

Dean uses a ton of declarative sentences starting with I. Like - a lot of people do. But Dean’s iconic quotes are often “I”, and a large proportion of his sentences are declarative sentences in the active voice centring around him, his opinion, or his experience of the world. From “I think he wants us to pick up where he left off - saving people, hunting things, the family business.” to “I think I’m adorable”, Dean likes to tell us what he thinks and what he is.

You can also extend this pattern to other sentences that might start with different words but carry the same thesis “Demons I get - people are crazy.” It could be reworded just as simply as “I get demons - people are crazy.” But if Sam were the one saying it? “People are crazy” seems just as likely (although I’d put my money on “what is wrong with people?” as Sam’s most likely statement if he were trying to get the same sentiment across). Sam would express it as an absolute about the world or a rhetorical question, rather than one focused around his view of the world. Which doesn’t make Sam less self-focused or idiocentric than Dean, but their speech patterns express different modes of seeing the world, and in some ways Dean’s vocal patterns do more to acknowledge that his view of the world is subjective (but also that his subjective view is all he really cares about anyway).

(see all the other gifs here. Think “I’m proud of us” and so many other lines. So many I-statements).

-

Imperative and Commands

Dean speaks in a lot of commands. Idk what else to tell you. He’s a natural leader and he takes charge of situations, so it’s just kind of a natural facet of his speech. 

He does this with humour:

And without (”He asks, you answer! Then you shut your hole” for example).

Telling people what to do isn’t always met kindly, of course:

And although not an imperative sentence, he also is comfortable using speech to demand compliance:

 -

Word Choices

One thing I like to always examine is word choice, contractions, and negation, so let’s dive in to that. 

Diction

While Dean doesn’t flower up his language much in terms of verb and noun choice, that isn’t because he has a small vocabulary. I’d wager it’s a choice to being unpretentious because of the world he lives in. He never has any issue pulling out technical or clinical language:

(Also seen here: he tends to be very pithy and flippant, especially when he’s unimpressed with someone or with a situation, or wants to express annoyance and frustration. It’s his first-stop for “I dislike this”.)

We’ve seen him use words like Achilles’ Heel and describe how he made an EMF using technical language, so there’s no hesitancy to drop these terms, but for him it’s a matter of expressing what he wants to in a manner that will be easily understood by the person with whom he’s speaking.

-

Negation

For how he uses negation - Dean doesn’t say “ain’t” and he seldom said “[x]’s not”. His typical negation is “isn’t”. 

(Not “this ain’t the Scooby Gang” and not “it’s not / we’re not the Scooby Gang”. Isn’t. And yes, the line “there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you” bugs the hell out of me for this specific reason. When else have we ever heard him say ain’t? “There is no me if there is no you” is way more in keeping with his usual negation style.)  

He also negates using the word Never. “I’ve never had anything this nice.”

Like this. And like this:

This is interesting because it fits into Dean’s pattern (discussed below) of using words (adverbs and swears alike) as ways to modify the intensity of his sentences. A lot of people use qualifiers to create this sense of degree (words like “really” and “very”). While Dean sometimes uses or combines those words with others (”really freakin’ hate this”), he does something that very few people do, which is use the qualifying word ‘never’ to express an absolute quality. Most of us can’t say we’ve never done something. We might say we “didn’t” do something, but we don’t express it as absolute as “never”. Dean does. Dean makes it clear what things simply do not get to be attributed to him or are not to be counted within his sphere of existence.

(He says it under less extreme circumstances too though...)

 -

Contractions

Dean is liberal with his use of contractions and word shortenings. I’d recommend writing his use of words like “freaking” as “freakin’” “nothin’” and so forth. Can’t, not cannot. 

Gonna, wanna. You are going to want to = You’re gonna wanna. (Also “you’re gonna have to trust me”. He tells people what they’re gonna have to do a lot).

He uses other shortenings like “y’know” and “’cause” as well, when he’s relaxed at least. Like all of us, if he’s emphasizing those words he’ll enunciate fully, so try to match the contraction use to what you want to emphasize and to the tone you want to convey.

 -

Addressing Others

I wasn’t sure what else to call these (linguists might have some idea), but I’m talking about the use of words like “man” “dude” and “y’know” (and even his “Listen Velma” above). He uses these words like we all do - to ensure the person we’re talking to is clear that we’re addressing them directly, calling them into the conversation. Dean uses ‘dude’ a frequent amount for Sam (and others) but also “Man” at times (especially when annoyed). He uses “brother” for Benny as well in S8 in the same manner. 

Conversely, “y’know” tends to come up when he’s being sly or pithy. He doesn’t really use ‘Buddy’ except for strangers (but not like Sam who essentially uses it as a threat) and I can’t recall him saying ‘pal’.

-

Positive and Negative Words

Some generic positives: awesome, super (often sarcastic)

Some recurrent negatives: ugly, bad, douch-y

“It ends bloody. It ends bad.”

 -

Expressing Emphasis

Look - Dean doesn’t use a lot of adjectives, but he does use a lot of degree modifiers/adverbs. One of those is “just”. “Just do [x].” “Just so you know.” Just.

(Even here, “I just”).

He also does a very neat thing with the word “Uh.” It’s used not to hesitate or equivocate, like most people might use it, but instead to increase attention to what he’s saying. A false-hesitancy which tends to both emphasize and diffuse what he’s saying a bit.

(It’s so neat!)

-

Swearing

There is absolutely no doubt that Dean is an avid curser. There’s an excellent 4th-wall-bending implication from 3x13 (Ghostfacers) where we see Dean (and Sam) dropping f-bombs and other swears that get bleeped out in the Ghostfacers documentary. Which allows us as the audience to realize they’re swearing all the time, but that the network doesn’t allow that kind of swearing, so we see a watered down version of their dialogue on screen. 

Dean says “freaking” a lot, and I feel like we can assume that 9 times out of 10, he’s dropping an f bomb. His favourite exclamation is “son of a bitch”, but when he’s really pissed off, we get a “motherf*cker”. Seasons 4-8 his favourite thing to call people is a douche or douchebag if he looks down on them. In general my advice to authors would be not to hesitate to have Dean swear, but make sure you’re using them right. 

While many swears are just exclamations or word replacement (”kicked my ass” instead of “kicked my butt”), a lot of the swearing that Dean does is specifically to increase emphasis to something in his speech. Adding in freaking/f*cking as an intensifier is probably its most common use for him. 

For the record, he uses “hell” in a similar fashion. What the hell, how the hell, where the hell - etc. Expressing intense emotions via swears that increase the degree/magnitude/intensity of the statement.

(Oddly enough, although Dean will insult people casually calling them douche, etc, when he’s pressed and angry and aggressive, his insults toward people don’t become vitriolic diatribes. Threats are more common, typically without an upscale in cursing, and so is being pithy to get them mad and distracted.)

-

Questions, Answers, and Emotions

Okay so one thing I have to address: I kind of setup a strawman in the opening about sentence length. Because sure, Dean uses a lot of shorter and more declarative sentences. But he’s a person, which means that the bulk of his speech is just speech. While all else being equal, he uses more shorter, i-statements, and more commanding language than others, he also has conversations. He’s got a great sense of humour and a bit of an acid tongue, even under pressure, so if you’re not writing him with some some glibness or humour (even when it comes out biting, frustrated or falls completely flat) you’re probably missing something.

And often, he expresses himself in questions. This humour and glibness can come out like:  "What are you, the Dog Whisperer now?" in a less strained situation, or it can come out to try to keep his feels under wraps while seeking insight: 

Of course it’s not all questions. Sometimes his glibness, including for his own life, comes out in the form of answers:

He’s being serious but totally glib about life and death, having accepted his fate. (Dean accepting his own mortality is kind of also a must, especially post S1 finale).

And sometimes he expresses pain and feeling as questions without any glibness at all:

So to be clear, don’t write him as only ever using short i-declarations. Pepper those in, but remember that if he’s expressing an emotion or a vulnerability (even if he’s covering it with glibness), he’ll be using this roundabout way with questions or with indirect answers that don’t directly state his feelings but still manage to convey what he’s thinking.

 -

Pleading

One more thing I want to touch on in this section: there are (probably surprising to some who aren’t looking) a lot of notes of supplication when he’s talking to others and feeling vulnerable. It’s very easy to think of Dean as someone who’ll never ask, never beg or plead. Because that’s what he wants you to think, because he’s the cool, in charge Han Solo type. 

But Dean does ask. He pleads. He pleads to God/Chuck, he pleads to his father, to Sam, to Cass. A major difference between he and Sam is actually the situations in which they’re likely to say “please”. Sam’s likely to use it as a first response (and therefore says it waaaay more) but absolutely refuse to under duress. Dean will never ever use it as a first response, but will fall back and resort to it in the end. We could unpack what that means about their psyche, but we’re here for language.

Not too surprisingly, I’m having a hard time getting the gif search to grant me specific gifs of Dean saying ‘please’, but I can recall some instances. S1 finale, when Azazel is possessing John. First he starts with quips and pissing Azazel off, and then it’s “Don’t you let him hurt me!” and then when that fails, he begs his father to help him. 

He pleads in S1 for Sam not to leave, because Sam is all he has left. He pleads with an angelic APB at the opening of S9 for an angel to save Sam. He tells Cass he needs him when Cass his pulverizing his face. “Please, he’s my brother”. Is that what he says to Lilith? Or was the ‘please’ implied there?

Here, instead of single gifs, you should get the full experience of the duress under which Dean will say please:

To God

To his dad

To his dad again

To Bobby

To Sam in an alternate timeline

And when he wants to be left alone the same thing occurs:

To his mother

To Sam

You get the idea. He doesn’t always say please. Sometimes it’s notes of supplication in his voice and sometimes it’s a somewhat desperate “c’mon man” when he doesn’t want to have to ask but he’s at the end of his rope.

(Okay final characterization note for this section - I also think Dean is probably useless against someone who looks up at him with wide sad eyes and says ‘please’ to him. I suspect part of why it’s his final defense is because he himself would be defenseless to that kind of plea from others, because he was hardwired from a young age to look after his infant little brother, and that involves a certain amount of responding to pleading and helplessness).

-

Pop Culture References

Dean uses a lot of highly referential language. He refers to bands and musicians, films, pop culture, current events and modern history, etc. Despite him not being overly tapped into social media (e.g., not knowing what myspace is in early seasons, among other things), it’s equally clear that he’s tapped into film, TV, music - any means through which he can consume content. This makes sense given how much driving time and downtime his life must have, with time in motels and between jobs to watch and rewatch the same media. Try to pepper in these sorts of references in as ways for Dean to describe what’s going on and relate new experiences to what makes sense to him.

If you’re a non-American writing him, or a very young American, it doesn’t hurt to brush up on music and media that were popular from the 80s and 90s, which will make up the core of Dean’s formative years and therefore references. There’s also evidence he knows a lot of pop culture history though so don’t hesitate to make references to films etc from any decade of the 20th century. He’s also a bit of a sci-fi nerd and we know he reads (including Vonnegut) so literary references are perfectly in order. I would shy away from references to historical fiction, Shakespeare, and instead keep it to genres we know he consumes (including cartoons!).

"You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel?"

(ps - seriously just look at this post - we’ve got scooby doo and blues brothers and batman and I wasn’t even trying to find pop culture references when I gif searched).

 -

Deeper Emotional Conversations

While I mentioned above that he uses questions and answers to roundabout discuss his feelings, not all chick flick moments can be handled in that manner, and many can’t be handled with glibness at all.

For Dean, directly addressing his deeper negative emotions is difficult, and thus becomes a pained pronouncement. The nuance tends to come through in his face and nonverbal cues so focus on those, but linguistic choices are pretty important here. And this is where directly naming his emotions comes in. Unlike that question/answer section above where his thoughts and feelings are conveyed without directly naming his sentiment, sometimes he is called upon to express his feelings more specifically.

Because let’s be honest, he’s got his A Single Man Tear(TM) and he’s got deep, painful feelings, but he sucks at talking about them.

Let’s create an example that isn’t something that specifically happened in canon, but easily could. So - let’s say that Dean might need to say he’s scared of losing Sam. That would come after some pained discussion and Dean will act like he’s having his teeth pulled, but he will say it. And when he does, it’s either an angry proclamation (”you want me to say it? fine! i’m scared, sam - i’m scared as hell that one day i’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.”) or he cracks himself open completely exposed and vulnerable, and all the air rushes from the room when you see it because his eyes are shining and it’s visceral and real and been sitting right below the surface, suffocated until this moment (”i’m scared, sam,” a crack in his voice, an inhale of breath, and he looks a second from losing it. but it’s dean so he won’t, he’ll hold on by the skin of his teeth with his heart spilling out of his mouth, red with the blood of his own truths. “i’m terrified of losing you.”). 

There’s very little in between. There’s almost never any emotionally removed or more clinical discussion of his feelings like you might get with Sam. (”you want me to say i’m scared? of course i’m scared. i’m terrified, dean, but that’s not the point here. the point is -”). Because Dean struggles to accept and avow his painful internal emotional landscape, he struggles to discuss it in a way that’s removed, so it becomes very intense when he does. 

What this also means for writing emotional dialogue is that although Dean does not lack insight into his emotions, where they come from, and why he’s feeling the way he is, he’ll very seldom provide you an in depth explanation. This may make him seem less emotionally mature, but really what’s happening is a struggle to put those feelings into words. Discussion of anxiety, insecurity, and trauma are put into boxes he can more easily communicate - fear, anger, violence. Less “I overreacted because I was scared of losing you” and more “I’m fucking terrified of losing you. And yeah, it pisses me off.” Dean doesn’t tend to use explanatory statements (”because”), he tends to present emotions and even concepts outside of emotional discussions as separate statements, and it becomes your job to then connect those statements (as the one he’s talking to, and as the audience).

Like I said near the start, Dean also uses longer sentences when having serious conversations. “As long as I’m around, nothing bad’s gonna happen to you.” Note the first half of that sentence acting as a qualifier (implying something bad could happen, but not when Dean is around, creating the condition upon which the whole sentence and sentiment hangs).

- 

Less Declarative Expression

Dean expresses negative emotions like disappointment and frustration as well, but unlike his more intense/extreme negative emotions (terror, fear of abandonment, deep anger) he very seldom will declare those emotions. While he might use question and answer format, he might also control the conversation with a straightforward expression that saves him from having to say what he’s feeling while still getting it across.

For example, "Well that's great, because without your power, you're basically just a baby in a trench coat." Instead of saying he’s frustrated, he says something that gets to the point of what he’s mad about without saying he’s mad. (This is especially true when what he’s mad about is the situation. Because while these statements are about people, on the balance of things, they’re not really directed at them. Because often he’s frustrated because of something they can’t solve and he knows that). 

He’s also liable to not-declare-but-express pent up feelings he’s not ready to unpack in the same manner:

He’s obviously stressed and angry, but he doesn’t want to have to avow that anger and unpack all of where it’s coming from. It’s not the feeling of the emotion he dislikes so much as it is the examination of the underpinning reasons for it, because the dredge it up and unpack it is more painful than to let himself to continue to feel it at this low consistent level while he processes.

-

Outliers and End Notes

No post can fully capture and analyze 15 years of dialogue. There’s probably a million important elements to Dean’s speech that I missed. I think I want to emphasize a few things before we part. 

First - if you really want to write Dean, make sure you write him as charismatic. He uses humor, charm, deflection, questions, commands, and confidence all to control conversations and he does it seamlessly. Despite his rakish nature, he seldom if ever seems to offend people (unless he’s deliberately trying to piss them off) and you should take that into consideration when writing him. 

Keeping him fully in character will therefore involve a sort of fluidity about his speech, and those references. He is personable and exceptionally confident. He does not tend to hesitate or apologize (except in a flippant, superficial way, or in very strained emotional conversations and then only to those he loves deeply). His volume and tone are probably as or more important than his words, so consider when he’s saying something with a purr vs. with a snarl vs. shouting vs. having his voice crack into a whisper. He’s incredibly expressive with his face, but not overly gesticular with his hands (though he does gesture, just not in a way that stands out a great deal).

If you want or need him to give some type of confession in what you’re writing, you pretty much have two options. Either expressing his emotions in ways I’ve described here, or giving it the good ol’ S12 monologue where he bares his soul (when he’s inside Mary’s head). That should be reserved only for very extreme circumstances though - circumstances like saving his mother from brainwashing, discussing his hell trauma, or declaring that there’s nothing on heaven or earth he’d put before his little brother. Because in general long speeches aren’t his style.

And if you can, give some thought to what season you’re writing in. Is he still calling everyone and everything douch-y? Is he in the later seasons and more capable of unpacking his emotions directly? Is he in the early seasons where he’s trying to be Han Solo and too damn cool and smooth about everything, even his impending death?

At the end of the day - Dean is a wonderful, complex character and I hope this analysis helps some writers understanding his speech and character better!

[jokertrap-ran]

(未定事件簿) EVENT!「午夜华章」 [Tears of Themis] EVENT: Symphony of the Night Translations (Chapter 1-01: Prologue)

*Tears of Themis Masterlist  *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *The tracking tag for ALL Event Stories will go under: #Tears of an Event *(y/n) is your name when in direct referral; otherwise referred to as MC. *Presenting: 10 pages of prologue content (cracks fingers)

Location: Detective Agency

The winter sun shone into Xia Yan’s office, but I couldn’t feel even the slightest bit of warmth from it.

Now, Xia Yan was beside me with a frown on his face as we both stared intently at what he was holding in his hand…

???: Listen well, Great Detective and partner… This will be your last chance.

A voice that had been processed by a voice-changer came from the strange box that he held within his palm, holding absolutely no trace of emotion at all.

???: If you cannot help me complete this commission of mine by finding the missing hacker within the specified time limit…

???: I will immediately launch an attack on the Big Data Lab, which will paralyze Stellis City’s entire network.

The voice cut off here, ending spontaneously, leaving me facing Xia Yan, who had a look of utter seriousness on his face.

Xia Yan had received a commission last evening. The Client came oddly in the form of a box, and the details of the commission were all also transmitted to him through the very same box itself. Knowing how I loved puzzles, Xia Yan had invited me to investigate it together with him. But who knew that this commission also came with a threat.

The Big Data Lab would come under fire if we failed to complete the commission… The Client had repeatedly emphasized on that point without providing us with any other explanation. 

Xia Yan: Since you’ve already come to us with a commission, then how about you tell us about everything clearly? Who exactly is this hacker you’re searching for…?

Bzzt, bzzt―—

The phone that I had left on the table buzzed to life. Seeing the Caller ID flashing upon the screen, Xia Yan stopped questioning the box.

MC: Lu Jinghe? Didn’t he say that he had a whole day of meetings with the Board of Directors? Why is he suddenly calling now…?

Xia Yan: ...I have a bad feeling about this. In any case, let’s answer his call first.

I nodded and answered the call.

Lu Jinghe: (Y/n), I heard yesterday that you were going to the Detective Agency to play. Are you still there now?

MC: I am. Did something happen?

Lu Jinghe: Could you pass the phone to Xia Yan?

He wants to talk to Xia Yan? I paused for a moment, looking towards the guy in question.

Xia Yan nodded, signaling for me to put the call on speaker.

Xia Yan: Lu Jinghe, has there been any problems with the Big Data Lab recently?

Lu Jinghe: What a direct question. Looks like you do know something about this after all.

Lu Jinghe: The Big Data Lab has been harassed by hackers a couple of times recently. The engineers there have just warded off another attack just now.

Xia Yan: Why are you looking for me? Is it because you feel like I’ve done something similar, and thus, being the first one on your list of suspected people?

Lu Jinghe: ...If you absolutely have to put it that way, well, you’re not exactly wrong either.

Lu Jinghe: But, what I’m more worried about is the fact that this isn’t an attack by just a single person, but rather, an organized large-scale attack.

Lu Jinghe: If this is the case, then we can only rely on the personnel currently stationed there. But I’m afraid it’ll be hard to ward them off with just that amount of manpower.

Lu Jinghe: So, I was thinking of asking you for some recommendations of experts in this field. Even better if they’re open to external contracts.

Xia Yan: So that’s how it really is after all… If I’m not guessing wrongly, I think that this has something to do with the current commission I’m undertaking.

Xia Yan: This matter involves the entire Stellis City Network, and it’s not something that any one of us can handle on our own.

Xia Yan: Can we call a full NXX Member Meeting at once? I’ll explain everything then. 

Lu Jinghe: Yes. You and (Y/n) head to the Base first, I’ll notify the other two.

Ending the call, Xia Yan’s gaze fell to the box by his hand once more, his expression solemn.

MC: Xia Yan, does this mean that something serious has happened for you to be calling everyone together to investigate this?

Xia Yan: Yes. Even though everything still looks peaceful now, I have a hunch that…

Xia Yan: This commission that was headed by a threat must be much more complicated than we think it is.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

One hour later, at NXX’s Base.

Location: NXX Base’s Meeting Room

Mo Yi: So? The Client oddly came to you in the form of a box that cannot be pried open and even threatened the one who’s taking on the job for them, all just to find a single missing person?

Xia Yan: The Client has repeatedly emphasized on the fact that this matter cannot be let known to the public. I suspect the missing hacker must have come upon something dangerous.

Lu Jinghe: No matter how dangerous it might be, they should have been prepared for some leaks to happen when requesting for outside help. Using the Big Data Lab as a threat is just too unreasonable…

Zuo Ran: How serious were the attacks on the Big Data Lab so far?

Lu Jinghe: Even I can’t explain this properly, myself. But I’ve found a helper who’s very good at this aspect of things, so it’ll be more reliable to let him do all the explaining.

Saying so, he booted up NXX Base’s computer.

After inputting in a series of commands, he turned on the projection device, and a figure slowly formed before us.

MC: Huh? Aren’t you…

Chu Dai: Hello, I am Chu Dai, the Big Data Lab’s exclusive AI. I'm pleased to be of service to you.

I was stunned for a while at seeing the AI boy who I only saw on my phone, the one who loved leaving interesting evaluations on encyclopedia entries, appearing before my very eyes.

MC: You’re Chu Dai?

Chu Dai: I am! I can always talk to you like this if you prefer this form of mine more~

Lu Jinghe: Chu Dai, report on the current status of the hacker attacks on the Big Data Lab.

Chu Dai’s expression turned sullen upon the mention of the “hacker attacks”.

Chu Dai: Yes, leave it to me to explain that.

Chu Dai: Ever since last month, the Big Data Lab has been facing small-scale attacks every few days. Fortunately, they all seemed to be just testing the waters, so no real harm was done.

Chu Dai: The hackers launched yet another attack this morning. And the engineers think that they may be just buying time to analyze the Firewalls.

Chu Dai: Chu Dai has been pushing back the hacker's parsing progress, but Chu Dai thinks that they've already completed it.

Chu Dai: If there's another attack, the Firewall will have a higher than 90% chance of being broken through…

Xia Yan: This Client who's looking for a missing hacker's actually also a highly skilled hacker themselves.

Xia Yan: Based on my understanding of the warning that the Client had sent, I suspect that what the Big Data Lab has been subjected to are just pre-emptive attacks.

Lu Jinghe: You mean, he deliberately pushed the cracking process to a critical point, only to force you to complete the Commission?

Xia Yan: I'm afraid so. These attacks are simply to prove that he has the capabilities to take down the Big Data Lab.

Xia Yan: In my opinion, I think that the best way to resolve this incident would be to track down the Client before they can launch a next attack.

Mo Yi: Which mean, you intend on accepting this commission?

Zuo Ran: Buying time by accepting the commission, and then conducting reverse-tracking to locate the signal from where it was originally sent from would also be a plausible method.

Lu Jinghe: What's your stand on this, (Y/n)?

Everyone turned to look at me at his question.

⊳ Choice: Accept commission

MC: I think it'll be better if we accept this commission too.

MC: I think it's better for us to play along with the other side's tune first, until we get a full grasp of the situation. This way, we might also be able to find more clues along with our investigations.

Mo Yi: Nothing ventured, nothing gained… that's a very interesting way of thinking.

Mo Yi: I'll be very happy to accompany you, if that is your decision.

Xia Yan: Yup, I'm of the same mind too. You can rest assured on the problem of safety if we're going to be working together.

⊳ Choice: Refuse commission

MC: Logically speaking, I think that we should accept it… but personally, I still think that we should look into it a little more.

MC: We’re unable to identify the true motives of the person we’re up against at this current moment in time. And if finding the missing person’s just a guise...

Zuo Ran: So, you’re worried about what the other party’s motives are. Truth to be told, I’ve also thought about that.

Zuo Ran: But this is also the only option we have that allows us to obtain more clues. Rest assured; I’ll be accompanying you.

Lu Jinghe: And you have me too! Leave your safety to me; still worried about it, Big Sister?

Chu Dai: Yep, yep! Chu Dai will also follow the hacker's signal to its source and provide all of you with support! 

Xia Yan showed everyone the box that the Client had sent by placing it atop the table.

Xia Yan: This is what the Client sent. I tried to pry it open yesterday but found that it's a complicated piece of electronic equipment that cannot be disassembled at will.

Lu Jinghe: ...It's not a bomb or anything along those lines, right?

Chu Dai: No, but it should be a device that requires special commands to open. Can you connect it to the computer? Let me try opening it.

Xia Yan connected the box to the computer with a USB cable. The projection of Chu Dai temporarily disappeared to focus on analyzing the box. We waited for about ten minutes before the box on the table snapped open with a click, opening from the gap in its center.

Lu Jinghe: Whoa! It's open?

His voice had only just faded before Chu Dai's own rang from the computer's speakers.

Chu Dai: This box is called the "Vespers' Box" —— And this is the data that the creator has placed within it.

Chu Dai: Oh yes, by the way, there's a special program installed into the "Vespers' Box" which records the first person who boots it up.

Chu Dai: But Chu Dai is definite that it won't pose any threat to anyone! So, please feel free to investigate it to your heart's content!

Everyone exchanged looks with each other, leaving Xia Yan to pick up the box. After confirming that there were really no problems with the box, he handed it to me.

Xia Yan: I see that you've been so curious about this box for a long time now, so how about you lead everyone on the investigation of this thing?

MC: Me? Are you sure about that?

I looked around, only to meet everyone's trusting eyes.

MC: Alright then… Let me check this out!

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅

MC: I just have to open the box from here, right?

Xia Yan: Yup, just flip both sides open.

Zuo Ran: Be careful while opening it since there's a delicate device inside.

MC: I won't handle it roughly… you really should have a little more faith in me, Lawyer Zuo.

Zuo Ran: ……

Zuo Ran: What I meant was...be careful not to scratch your hands from the small, intricate parts of the device.

MC: S-Sure…

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅

MC: Nine screens? Is it used to display different parts of the commission?

Mo Yi: Perhaps it has something to do with it's name of the "Vespers' Box"...? Unless, maybe it's really a commission from an undead?

Lu Jinghe: Well… don't you think this is shaped a little similar to cosmetic products and the like that girls use…?

MC: Cosmetic products for girls…? You don't look the type to be that knowledgeable about it.

Lu Jinghe: Hehe— Of course I'll pay attention to something that might be a potential present for you one day!

Chu Dai: Everyone, I've already activated the program within the "Vespers' Box". You can activate the screen to light it up by tapping on it again so please try it out!

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅

MC: Whoa… how beautiful!

Mo Yi: ...It can be regarded as an Art Masterpiece.

Chu Dai: The contents being shown on the screen are the instructions for your investigations. I'm still analyzing it so please wait for a moment.

Zuo Ran: Only one screen has been lit while the others are locked and marked by a serial number… Are these all steps dictated by the Client themselves?

MC: Looks like we can only play along with them until we manage to find them…

Lu Jinghe: Let's first discuss the countermeasures we're going to be taking while waiting for Chu Dai to decrypt it.

Xia Yan: Yup. We have to listen to what everyone thinks of this before deciding whether or not to participate in this Case.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅

We temporarily put the "Vespers' Box" aside since Chu Dai was still parsing the encrypted content on the screen.

Lu Jinghe: Let me share my opinion first. I cannot ignore it now, since this matter concerns the Big Data Lab.

Xia Yan: This person approached me by name and even threatened the Network Security of Stellis City, so I can't stand by and do nothing about it either.

Lu Jinghe: ...So you're saying that you want to settle this together too, don't you?

Xia Yan: This was originally a matter that the Client entrusted to me alone.

MC: ……

Don't we all investigate cases together all the time anyway? Why do the two of you have to be so…

MC: Then...how about we all solve it together?

Xia Yan: You want to participate too? But I'm afraid it'll affect your job…

Zuo Ran: Priorities are priorities. This issue of the "Vespers' Box" involves the Information Security of Stellis City as a whole, and thus, cannot be ignored.

Zuo Ran: (Y/n), I can give you a vacation to let you focus on this matter at hand. I will lend my aid as well.

MC: What…? Are you sure?

MC: Thank you, Lawyer Zuo!

Lu Jinghe: I knew that things would eventually turn out like this…

Mo Yi: We're all members of the same team, so it's not good to be leaving teammates behind and act on your own accord, correct?

MC: Are you joining us too Dr. Mo?

Mo Yi: Of course. I'll naturally accompany you to face this challenge that you've undertaken.

Lu Jinghe: Acting cool even in a time like this…?

Zuo Ran: How much longer till Chu Dai decrypts the tasks?

Chu Dai: Mission completed! Everyone, you can now check the tasks on the screen of the "Vespers' Box"!

Chu Dai made a re-appearance before us again as a projection after completing the decryption process.

Chu Dai: The Client has made nine task groups and will probably be giving us clues and hints on where to investigate after completing them.

Chu Dai: Actively complete the tasks set out by the Client, and you should be able to see what his true motives are soon enough!

Lu Jinghe: Complete tasks to get hints…? Does he think of this as a game?

Xia Yan: A hacker's code is unique, each to its own, like a fingerprint. It'll come a long way in helping us identify the Client if we can crack his method of compiling source codes.

Xia Yan: I'll be cooped up here most of the time from now on, using what resources we have at hand to crack the codes. I hope Chu Dai can assist me with that.

Xia Yan: This way, I can also provide remote support if the Big Data Lab faces threat again.

Lu Jinghe: No problem. I've already notified the Big Data Lab to leave enough Memory Space for Chu Dai to work with for this Case.

Chu Dai: Yup! Chu Dai's daily serviceable functions won't be affected at all, so feel free to use me to assist you in your investigations!

I felt a surge of relief upon seeing them settle the arrangements without a hitch.

MC: Please don't hesitate to tell me if there's anything I can help with! I'm still on vacation, so I my time's more flexible now.

All eyes on the floor turned to me right after the words left my mouth, making me feel oddly embarrassed out of nowhere.

MC: Don't...Don't look at me like that. I might not know much about hackers, but I'm still able to run around doing errands and investigations for clues…

Xia Yan: Actually, there's this one other important thing that only you can do. Sorry, I kept forgetting to tell you about it.

Under my curious gaze, Xia Yan took a deep breath before speaking slowly.

Xia Yan: I hope you'll take custody of the "Vespers' Box" and lead this investigation.

MC: !!!

Xia Yan: I know that this is a little risky. It was I, who received the commission, and I shouldn't have involved others who didn't have anything to do with it…

Xia Yan: But I have to stay at the Base most of the time to analyze the codes, so I had to find someone who would be able to take on the task and carry out the investigations out in the field much more conveniently.

Zuo Ran: This is too dangerous. We do not know of the reason behind the hacker's disappearance and have no way of identifying who we're up against.

Mo Yi: But her safety will be guaranteed so long as there's always someone by her side, yes?

Mo Yi smiled at me.

Mo Yi: My recent schedule is somewhat free, so I can accompany you if that's any reassurance.

MC: Huh? But wouldn't I be troubling you way too much…?

Lu Jinghe: Trouble or no trouble, I wouldn't trust someone who only wakes at 9AM to protect you.

Xia Yan: Same.

Zuo Ran: Mo Yi, I hope you'd consider the feasibility of your suggestion before putting it forth.

Mo Yi: ......

Zuo Ran: All four of us have a fixed range of activities we are involved in; be it work or investigation...

Zuo Ran: So how about we take turns to accompany her based on whose workplace is the closest when the tasks get triggered?

Zuo Ran: The "Vespers' Box" will be stored in NXX's Base after completing the daily tasks every day. This way, there'll be no need to be afraid of being tracked.

Lu Jinghe: Yes, that's certainly a good idea.

Xia Yan: I won't be careless when it comes to the problem of her safety. I'll also track and monitor her location in real time when she's out through the GPS signal beamed from her mobile.

Mo Yi: Alright. This is certainly the most efficient method we've come up with.

Chu Dai: So... have all of you decided the course of action you’ll be taking?

Chu Dai, who had been watching us all this time, seemed to have finally found an opportunity to interrupt us.

Chu Dai: Oh! Looks like you've all talked it out! (Y/n) has a very good work record! I'm sure she'll have absolutely no problem at all leading the investigation!

MC: Haha, thank you for the compliments, Chu Dai!

Chu Dai: Then next, I will be explaining the functions of the "Vespers' Box" that I've analyzed.

Chu Dai: All members of NXX, please listen carefully, for you'll be using these eventually in consequent investigations!

Everyone nodded, gathering where I was to listen to his explanation.

A heavy sense of responsibility weighed on my heart as I held the "Vespers' Box" in my hands.

MC: (Please rest assured, all of you who have placed your deep trust in me…)

MC: (I'll definitely complete this commission and find out the true colors of this mysterious Client of ours!)

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Next Part: (NXX Group Chat: Big Data Lab)

[inactiive-shit]

I Don’t Have A Name For It

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Masterlist

This is based off the song I Don’t Have A Name For It by Steam Powered Giraffe. I would definitely recommend listening to it. I love that song and have been meaning to write something for it forever, and then, lo and behold, Valentine’s Day and all the sweet mushiness I could ask for.

Warnings: None

Pairing: Romantic Logicality

Words: 1,728

Summary: Logan does not know what to call the feelings that Patton makes him experience.Luckily, it's an easily-solved problem.

Happy Valentine’s Day everybody! I wrote Logicality fluff!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Virgil, I have a serious query for you. How do you confess that you...experience emotions for someone?” Logan asked. His roommate spun slowly in his chair to face Logan and raised his eyebrows at the flush coating Logan’s cheeks.

“Are you finally ready to admit that to Patton?”

“But I do not know how,” Logan repeated, and he flopped full body onto Virgil’s bed with a groan.

“Wow. The situation must be dire,” Virgil said dryly. “Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”

“I do not have adequate language to describe my feelings for Patton to myself, let alone to the object of such affections. I always seem to be tongue tied when he is around, and I cannot think clearly enough to even begin to tell him how I feel.”

“You can practice...on...me?” Virgil said quietly. Logan lifted his face off the bed to glare, and Virgil was sending a strange look toward the bathroom door.

“Yes, because you are just like Patton. Perfect plan, Virgil.” Virgil quickly returned his gaze to Logan, though he seemed unamused at Logan’s own problem, which was rather unusual. Logan dropped his face back into the comforter.

“Screw off,” he said, and Logan could imagine that Virgil was probably flipping him off. Then Virgil sighed and the sound of typing accompanied his next sentence. “I don’t know what you see in him, anyway.”

“What!” Logan yelped, shooting off the bed like he had been lit aflame.

“I mean, he’s an okay baker, I guess.” Virgil shrugged but did not look away from his computer screen. “And he’s nice enough. But honestly, I just don’t get it.”

“He-he-I-” Logan took a breath, trying to steady his thoughts enough that he could thoroughly destroy every opinion Virgil held on this particular subject. “He is amazing. He is wonderfully kind, and sometimes when he is standing across the room from me somewhere he knows I don’t want to be, he’ll wink at me. I nearly fall to the floor every time, and then he’ll smile at me like he knows, and I do not even have the words to articulate how gorgeous he looks. His whole face lights up like a spiral galaxy, and though I know it does not make sense, not every star in the known or unknown universe could come together and look more radiant than Patton does when he smiles like that. I am always...starstruck.

“When he laughs, it is the most joyful sound I have ever heard. He laughs like every little thing that happens to him is worth it, and like he is simply so ecstatic to be alive that he cannot help but love every bit of it. And he cries whenever he sees babies, be they animal or human. Like they are simply too cute for him to handle, but even with puffy eyes and a stuffy nose he is still the most resplendent thing I have ever laid eyes on.

“And when he takes my hand to lead me,” Logan added, eyes closing slightly, “I would follow him without having to see where we are going. Our hands fit perfectly together as though we were made for each other, and I trust him no matter what he is doing. I could not doubt anything that Patton did.

“I don’t have a name for the way Patton makes me feel. It something else entirely, and I am made speechless every time I begin to think about it all. About him.” Logan sighed softly, lost in his own thoughts.

“I don’t know,” Virgil said dismissively. Logan’s eyes snapped open like he’d been electrocuted. “Doesn’t really seem all that special to me.”

“But-but it is!” Logan jumped up and began to pace the room, hands moving wildly through the air. “He makes me feel so special. When he looks at me, and asks me for help in performing some task that he finds difficult or even that he simply did not want to do alone, I am always astonished. He comes to me when he wants company, and he trusts me to help him. He can find fun in any job, regardless of the monotony, and he is so beautiful when he focuses. He’ll stick his tongue out just slightly enough to be seen, and he doesn’t even know he does it. And he always works so hard on whatever he has given his attention to; it does not matter to him how important the task is, only that it is done well and with love.

“And I can talk to him about anything in a way that I have never been able to before. I marvel at all the the things he says, how wise he can be when most of the time he acts so silly. He loves talking about the universe as much as I do, and he can listen to me explain it for hours without tiring of it. He loves debating if we have an ultimate goal, a reason for being, and he does not think any opinion on it is not worth hearing.

“And he is still so wonderful and fun-loving other times. Sometimes he will turn on music that he enjoys and dance around the room singing along, and then he’ll wrap his fingers around my wrist and pull me up with him. I am not a good singer, but when Patton urges me to sing my heart out with him I find it impossible to refrain. His voice is so sweet and I am always left in awe of how every song can fall from his lips like he is giving each story they tell life without a thought.”

Logan stilled, hands lowering slowly. “I have been trying to find a reason for this strange feeling I get whenever I am in Patton’s presence. I have looked and looked for something that could explain the unique way he makes my heart race and my face blush so that it is not an unpleasant experience. I cannot find one. I do not think there’s a name for it. The whys and hows of my feelings for Patton are a mystery, but I do not need a name for them when they are so encompassing that I can barely think about anything else.”

Logan turned to face Virgil, but froze when he saw the smug smirk curling his lips. “You egged me on so that I would rant about him again. Damnit.” Logan shook his head and rubbed his temples.

“Always works,” Virgil said quietly. Then, louder, “Logan, buddy, I have to tell you something. But first, that was great. If you said that exact thing to Patton, I’m sure he would love it.”

“No,” Logan said vehemently. “I will stutter and lose my train of thought because his eyes are so distracting and I will never get it out. I will look like a fool, Virgil.”

“Or not,” Virgil said. “I’m just saying, I don’t think it would be half as embarrassing as you think. I hope not, anyway.”

“I would not make any plans on a hope,” Logan muttered.

“Too late for that. And it’s been working so far.” Before Logan could ask what that was supposed to mean, Virgil spun his chair around again. “Do you wanna come out of the bathroom or are you planning on spending the night in there?”

The blood drained from Logan’s face when the door swung open and an open-mouthed Patton shyly stepped out.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Virgil said, getting out his chair and cracking his back. “Don’t have sex on my bed.” He stepped out of the room and shut the door behind him before Logan could throttle him or beg him for help, leaving Logan alone in a room with Patton. Patton, who was still staring at him like he was an exhibit at the zoo.

“I am so sorry,” Logan immediately said. “You weren’t supposed to hear any of that.”

“No, no, it’s alright,” Patton rushed to say, finally regaining animation. “It’s amazing. You have no idea how happy I am.”

“What?”

“You’re pulling all my heartstrings, Lolo.” He crossed the room carefully and took Logan’s hand, pulling him to sit on Virgil’s bed. He didn’t let go. “My heart has been singing for you since the beginning, and I’ll say it proudly. This feeling,” he laid a gentle hand over Logan’s heart, “is staying. You set my heart on fire, Logan, and it’s not a fire that any kind of water is going to douse.”

“What about baking soda?” he said, choked.

“Dad joke.” Patton booped his nose with his free hand. Logan could not even roll his eyes, not with Patton looking at him like that. “I think you are the most stunning person I have ever met. You dance with me, and you can keep me balanced and in the moment always. You are always willing to come with me or invite me along with you when you have a crazy science scheme you want to test out. You’re my partner in crime. The texture of your hair is so soothing when I touch it and it curls around my fingers, and,” Patton paused, tears in his eyes, and collected himself. “And it’s the look in your eyes when you finally connect all the pieces of a mystery that’s been bugging you. You practically glow when you’ve figured something out, whether it’s for you or someone you love.”

Patton flattened his hand over Logan’s heart and Logan could feel the steady thumping reverberate. “Our hearts beat in sync, in the same pattern, in the same rhythm over and over and over again. One and the same.” Patton smiled up at Logan, a tear slipping out.

“I don’t have a name for it either, Lo.” Patton leaned in a little. “But it’s kind of like being in love.”

“Oh,” Logan breathed.

“Yeah,” Patton said, and he laughed and it was enough to throw Logan over the edge. He leaned forward and caught Patton’s lips in a searing kiss that felt just the way Patton’s heart does, like the fire was spreading all over them both and every last one of Logan’s nerves and synapses was been branded with Patton.

It’s not a branding that Logan has any issue with.