#if you are capable of that do get in touch because we might be able to work something out

[todayiwishtobe]

A Subdued Stud

NSFW

Contains dubcon, bondage, gangbang, transformation (male->NB (Masc -penis +vagina)), horse furries, bodywriting, dehumanisation, humiliation, oral, vaginal, kidnapping

There are three horses in the small booth. Well, that depends on your philosophical positioning, given that two of them are images of the third, though there has clearly been some changes.

Let's start with the similiarities, as a good starting point. He's an equine, of course, prettily dappled in grey. Soft horsehair over sleek, solid muscle that'd carry him for quite a while in swift athleticism. Not the sheer bulk of some of the draft-types, but still strong. A long mane made to flow in wind, whether wind of motion or of nature. Blue-green eyes that shine with intelligence, and perhaps a little nervousness? Well, more than a little in the physical beast, but even in the first picture, where his eyes can be seen, there's a hint of the prey about him.

That first picture is quite the show in its way, the stallion's lean form shining in the sun, casually posing in sports garb, the medal in his fist almost as bright as his mane, body and badge both drawing admiring looks from the onlookers. Though his attention is on the camera, his attitude is one that will soon be returning those looks, for man and woman both.

The second picture is more candid, though no less attractive, sprawled out on a bed, asleep in the silver moonlight. He wears nothing but tight briefs that bulge in a way that would shame no few insecure men. His physique is on full display, the muscles exposed to the camera-wielding intruder, and from there to any that pass the booth. A second person can be seen here, though dark clothes hides them in shadow, only the glint of the cuffs in their hands betrays their presence to the sharp-eyed.

And finally, the present stud. Well, maybe not a stud anymore, that bulging cock replaced by a cunt, slick with feminine arousal and masculine seed, dripping from that fucked hole. He might not be cuffed, but he's far more securely restrained, strapped into the tiny space with only the space to strain those pretty muscles and search with those pretty eyes, hoping to find or forge an escape that isn't there. Whimpering whines that mix pleasure and fear and pleasurable fear leak around a ring-gagged mouth, drooling its own cummy fluids to match the horse's pussy. He's even more vulnerable here, his holes positioned for the pleasure of others, though the flush of his body indicates he's taking no small pleasure himself. Those who bothered to comment clearly took note, the scrawled messages defacing his hide taunting the 'slut' for his enjoyment of the processes that lead to every smudged tally on his thighs, every tick on his throat. Whatever he once was, he's broken in now, just a toy for others who take pleasure in the breaking, leaving him with the pictured reminders of what they took, and his own shame at loving what has been done.

[redflagshipwriter]

batmom cass: reveal

masterpost

Oh. Fuck. He was invisible. A flood of genuine fear washed through him. He was discovered again, he was away from any allies, he had to get away-

Danny went intangible out of sheer survival instinct and lurched downwards. Bruce made a punched-out sound and lunged to grab him. He actually got his hand around Danny’s wrist and clenched despite Danny being invisible to human eyes. It was no use. Danny slipped through his grip, the chair, and then the floor.

He caught himself there and paused, hovering in the flooring. He could see the weird joints underneath the kitchen, a dark crawl space with way more spiders than Alfred could possibly know about. One of them reared up and waved its front legs at him in what was either a threat or a greeting. Danny shuddered involuntarily and pulled back a little to give the arachnid personal space.

“Danny?” Cass’s voice was muffled but calm. “Sit in your chair, please.”

She made it sound so sensible.

He blinked rapidly. “Right. Right, okay.” He floated back up through the floor and avoided eye contact as he settled back into place and the visible spectrum. He stole a glance around the room. Cass and Damian looked unaffected. Bruce’s face said the same, but the pulse point was jumping rapidly in his throat. His hand was pressed firmly against his thigh as if to remind him that it was a physical thing that existed.

“This GIW is harmful to you?” Damian asked, sensible and unaffected. He pushed his empty yoghurt away a few inches on the tabletop. “I gather from the acronym that we are dealing with an organization rather than an individual.”

“....Yeah.” Danny gripped his knees under the table and clung to the hint of normalcy. If they were going to act like that hadn’t been weird, then maybe he was okay. “I think they’re government affiliated. They say they are. They, uh.” He cleared his throat. “They’re the Ghost Investigation Ward, but I call them the Guys in White.”

“And they are a problem because?” Damian asked crisply. Cass was watching with the full force of her formidable attention, but it wasn’t a heavy gaze. 

Danny forced himself to stop fidgeting. “Well, I might have died a little.” It came out as a question. “And they’re not sure it’s me- at least, they weren’t, but I guess that they are now.” Oof, that was hard to internalize. Of course they did. Now that they knew about Vlad, they had all the pieces to put it together. His parents had definitely put it together. The look on Mom’s face when she saw him hauling Vlad out of the lab…

He felt cold. Danny rubbed at his thighs as if that would help. 

There hadn’t been another choice. It ate at him a little bit that Danny had thrown his life away for someone he didn’t even like, but what else could he have done? Vlad was Vlad, yeah, but Danny couldn’t have left anyone there. 

Bruce had a look that Danny had never seen on him before. Intense. Focused. Dangerous. Danny instinctively pulled away from it, sitting all the way up in his chair. 

Bruce wiped it away, but the memory still sent Danny’s blood rushing. Ecto gathered in his mouth like saliva, his body readying to fight for his life. He swallowed it down with difficulty. 

“As you said,” Cass interjected. She scooted her chair a little closer to him and laid an arm along his shoulders. “Like Jason.” She rubbed at his upper arm. He leaned into her touch. 

“Like Jason,” Bruce echoed. His tone was hollow.

Danny ducked his head and missed the meaningful look that Cass shot her BatDad. 

“What are their capabilities?” Damian pushed. His dark eyes glittered when Danny looked back at him. “You clearly have invisibility and density shifting. Are they able to counter you?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Danny blinked rapidly to try to force himself to focus. This was… so weird. Someone had found out about him and he wasn’t fighting for his life. Even his friends had found out when he was actively under fire from a ghost. His nervous system didn’t know what to do with this. He cleared his throat. “They have a lot of tech, uh.” He flexed his hands. “From my parents.” He stared at the woodgrain on the table. It was probably real wood and not the heavy duty polymer that the Fenton table was made out of. “They’re not exactly competent, but there’s a lot of them, and they have had some success.”

His stomach lurched. He swallowed hard on bile. He didn’t think about what he’d found when he went after Vlad. He didn’t think about Vlad in his human form, strapped down and incisions pinned open, literal pins holding open his torso and skin layers on his arms. He didn’t think about the quietly despairing hums coming from rows of ghost cores on a shelf, neatly labeled with specimen numbers. 

“Let’s walk.” Cass hustled him up and muscled him down the hall without letting go of her comforting grip. Danny went along with it numbly. But she was kinda right. Moving shook him out of his head. The walls were changing around him, curtains and windows and framed portraits and some of Tim’s photography. They passed a room he had never seen before. Cass pushed the door open, let him look around, and then tugged him down the hall before he’d had time to do more than catalogue the novelty. 

She did that at the next door, too. Oh. An impromptu tour. The novelty of seeing new things started to drag him back to the real world, right now, which was not exactly a fight for his life.

At the third door, Danny managed, “Does anyone play that piano?”

Cass made a mysterious hum. It took her a while to unstick her tongue. “Damian can. Jason, if you ask with big eyes.” 

Danny nodded at this information. Damian did seem like the kind of person who would hone a few classic artistic skills. And Jason was manipulable, good information.

…Not that Danny would need much help there. He felt a little sheepish at how threatened he’d felt earlier when he remembered the sincerity and protectiveness he could sense from both Cass and Jason.  

“What should we do about GIW?” Cass broached the topic, as if she knew that he felt better. She probably did know. “Investigate cautiously? Destroy?” She held up two fingers to count off the ‘destroy the GIW’ options. “Horde of lawyers descend from Wayne Enterprises jet, or Justice League?”

Danny snorted. It turned into a laugh, hysterical and too long. He wiped tears away from his eyes. “Personally, I like the idea of blowing up their base,” he admitted. “But someone should rescue the test subjects first.”

“Oh?”

Cass was so weirdly easy to talk to. He leaned a little harder against her. She wasn’t a big woman, but there was something so solid about her anyway. It must be a Black Bat thing. “I left because I was getting someone out,” he admitted. “They were a lot more captives than I knew about.” He squeezed his free hand to ground himself. “I grabbed as many as I could and tossed them through the portal, but I don’t know if that was everyone or if just being home let them heal up.” 

Hell, maybe someone had come along and eaten all the helpless cores. Danny shied away from the horror of that thought. His intuition had identified the helpless ghost cores as viable ectoplasm, healing and delicious. They were scared at his approach because they sensed him, they knew they were helpless shells to crack open and lick out the sweet marrow–

Ah. Yup. He stopped in his tracks and heaved his snack onto the carpet.

[capitanology]

hsr men and their love !

— or how they show their love towards you + the little moments you have with them | including. . .aventurine, dr ratio, jing yuan, dan heng

content warning: nothing, all fluff!

word count: 1.9k

AVENTURINE WHO. . .

yes, will shower you with lavish gifts and makes sure that only the finest of silks adorns your body because you deserve only the best of everything. it makes his heart swell with fondness each time his eyes catches sight of you covered in his love, that being the items he procured without much effort yet still remained thoughtful all the same.

but aventurine also loves the downtime that comes after the end of a mission, when he stumbles through the doorway of both yours and his home in the middle of the night, searching for your familiar presence. and when he opens the bedroom door, his gaze falling on you in the middle of it all, he welcomes the sight of you sleeping in between the sheets of his blanket, figure curling around his soft pillow you claimed will help you sleep well when he's not around.

the smallest of smiles graced his lips and for the first time since his mission started, his body was able to relax, his shoulders sagging down with the weight of his tiredness as the tension leaves. walking over to you, he gently positions himself on the side of the bed, eyes never once straying away from your form. his hand reaches out to lightly cup your cheek before he presses a light kiss to your forehead.

"mm...aven?"

the feather touch made you stir from your sleep, despite aventurine trying his best to not wake you up. a quiet chuckle left his lips at your (very adorable, might he add) display, not able to hold back from giving you another kiss to your cheek.

"yes, my love. i'm back. shall we rest together now?"

DR. RATIO WHO. . .

tends to express his love for you in a rather roundabout manner. somehow, his upfront attitude that most are familiar with disappears when it comes to any little thing that concerns you.

it was glaringly obvious, you think, with the way he lends his assistance whenever you struggle with your work under the guise of it being 'unpleasant to see a capable scholar floundering about, no less his own partner'. it might sound a bit harsh to others, but you knew of his affection, with the way his features would always soften whenever he spoke those words to you. besides, him offering to aid you is already enough of an indication of his endearment.

though sometimes, there are moments where he would instead let his actions speak for him his thoughts.

the grandfather clock's ticking resounded within ratio's office, the two of you bathing in each other's company as you worked on your own set of papers while he busies himself with another thesis of his. this isn't a rare sight; rather, it was a routine that you kept up with him, often ending the day by each other's side while trying to finish the remaining tasks.

it was during these times that ratio lets his gaze travel to you, who usually remained absorbed in your work. it was no different this time, his eyes catching sight of you being deeply concentrated in solving the particular problem you were stuck on.

ratio rarely gets distracted from his tasks, but as you sit there across from him, he could only let his mind run rampant with thoughts of you and only you. of how endearing it is to see you frown in frustration, lips raw from how many times you bit it as you struggle to solve the damn problem.

observing how the stack of papers on your side of the desk still remained tall, ratio sets aside his finished papers before silently taking half of your paper stack, which didn't go unnoticed by you.

"what are you doing?" you rose a brow, seeing how he had already started to scribble along the surface of your papers.

"what do you think i'm doing?" he replied without missing a beat, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

the sight of your confused expression nearly made him chuckle but he held it back, not wanting to let his thoughts show.

"well..." you drawled out, a small smile building itself on your lips when you catch on what he's doing. "i think you're helping me. isn't that right, dr ratio?"

the use of his formal title made him huff slightly, preferring you to call him only by his name. yet as his eyes flitted over to you, seeing your fond gaze as you leaned back against the chair, ratio could only return your teasing words with his own.

"seeing as to how you're struggling to complete your tasks, it seems that you need a helping hand lest you remain here all night long," he refuted, lips quirking up. "though i would not mind doing so with you."

JING YUAN WHO. . .

lives for the idle touches and fleeting gazes whenever you pass him by during work hours. known for his lackadaisical nature when it comes to his duties as a general, there was also another part of him that is often talked about; that is his utter admiration for you. hence the moment those conversing with him for official duties notice you walk into the room, they have already prepared themselves for what is to come next.

"yes, general. from the patrol guards' inspection, it was deduced that..."

the guard's voice trailed off in the middle of his daily report to jing yuan when he noticed you entering the general's personal office, gathering both his and jing yuan's attention. almost instantly, he can see jing yuan's slumped figure straighten, eyes brighter than a moment ago when he was listening to him recalling the day's events. knowing there is nothing that can pull away the general's focus once it settled on you, the guard gave him his goodbyes and left promptly at jing yuan's dismissive nod.

you rose a brow at the exchange, not able to even voice out your questions about it when his hand wrapped around your wrist and pulled you close to his side of the table. lifting your palm close to his face, jing yuan begins to pepper light kisses all over the skin, reveling in your warmth.

"what's this about? so clingy," you teased, though such clinginess was not out of the ordinary.

you knew that if he could, he would stick by your side throughout the entire day.

"is it wrong for me to shower my lovely partner with affection?" his lips quirked up at the sound of your voice, head tilting back to look at your face.

"of course not," you returned his grin with one of your own, now tugging on his hand instead. "well, i was wondering if my lovely partner would want to relax with me in the garden today? it's nearing lunch time anyways."

"anything you desire, my dear."

as much as he loves to spend his free time (or official hours) laying around under the tree's shade, letting the sun shine down on his face, nothing beats the comfort that embraces his entire being when his head is on your lap and he's basking in your warmth instead.

DAN HENG WHO. . .

adores you silently, quietly, with small actions and soft touches; making your coffee in the mornings just the way you like it, covering you with his comfort blanket each time you fall asleep when digging through the archives with him, offering his aid when you're swamped with too many work on the astral express.

for those without a keen eye, perhaps he may come off as a passionless lover, but when you look closely, you notice the way his eyes light up the moment he catches you across the room, and the delicate hold he has on your hand as you walk through the crowded streets. and with every little thing that he does with love behind them, you can only take them with an open heart and a fond smile, knowing that they were only for you to understand and know.

but there are times when his love for you grabs him by the chokehold, and all he could do was profess his affection for you in the most random of manner.

it was silent aboard the astral express, march and the rest of the members currently sleeping in their own rooms. you however, was not in your own room.

curled up beside dan heng, in your hands was a thick book filled with various kinds of information relevant to your upcoming mission to a new planet. the pages were the thickest you had ever seen, and you were barely halfway through the content when your eyes started to droop heavily with sleep.

"you should go ahead and rest," dan heng's voice woke you up from the nth time you had dozed off, and immediately you shook your head, trying to will away the tiredness.

"nooo, i still have a lot to go through," your words almost sounded like a whine with how you drawled them out, hands rubbing your eyes.

"there's still enough time for you to finish it. your mission is in the next few days right?"

"yeah, but i doubt that i can finish this much in a short amount of time," you pushed the book into his sight, and he could only chuckle at your actions.

"it's fine. you'll finish it," dan heng sighed softly, flicking your forehead gently. "so stop being stubborn and just sleep. i can already see the dark circles forming under your pretty eyes."

ignoring how his sudden compliment made your cheeks burn, you took his advice and closed the book, setting it to the corner before snuggling into dan heng's side, sighing at the warmth.

it was funny how light his heart felt at the sight, the endearment almost consuming him whole. if this is what it feels like to love another, to the point that he was able to suffocate within it, then dan heng thought that perhaps he would willingly die loving you. the idea of it was overwhelming and taken in by the way your figure wrapped around him so comfortably, his lips moved on their own.

"i love you."

the atmosphere stills with his sudden confession, the words hanging in the air. your head had whipped up to look at him, confusion swirling in your eyes before quiet giggles left you when you notice the perplexed expression on his face.

"why do you look so confused?" your voice shook with amusement, loving the way his gaze avert yours, cheeks flushing a deep red. "you've said it many times before, didn't you?"

"of course," dan heng coughed, trying to will away the slight embarassment he feels at suddenly proclaiming his love.

it wasn't that he hate it, that is the act of speaking such words to you. it was the thought of being vulnerable, an unfamiliar action for him who has had to steel his heart and harden his resolve with the life he had lived so far. to speak of his love as easily as he did loving you, it was difficult; which is why he would rather shower you in it, with all the things that he does.

but then he looks at you now, eyes glinting in the light with lips curled up into that pretty smile he loves seeing from just his words and he thinks that perhaps it isn't so hard for him to profess his love to you every now and again as he did moments ago.

"...you still haven't say it back."

"yes, yes. i love you too."

a/n: i think i got carried away with ratio and dan heng...also! might make a part two of this with other characters

[anantaru]

Hi Yoru.

Which boys do you think would be most gentle during sex?

including. neuvillette, ayato

cw. soft dom, we love strong men being sweet, fem! reader

— ꒰ NEUVILLETTE ꒱

the iudex of fontaine neuvillette, who's each respectively admired and respected by the people of his nation.

indeed, he was a mysterious man in quite a lot of ways, and of course with this in mind— there came great responsibilities which the man made his priority to fulfill as good as he was able to.

until his dying breath.

to say that he was strong was a clear understatement, but even someone such as neuvillette can find himself rather fatigued at times, especially when he always tends to go well over his capabilities for the people around him.

it has not always been this way, however, whenever he found himself in an exhausted state of mind, he instantly comes rushing home to you, and neuvillette will not admit it, he simply cannot, but he had missed you so very much that it was burning a deep hole in his heart.

it's difficult to be vulnerable, and in the beginning he believed that being open and unshielded in front of you might make you view him in a different kind of light— because in his own very mind, neuvillette wanted, no, he needed to look powerful and almighty for your sake.

you are his everything, and he promised himself to never suffer from another loss in his life again, more so protect you to the fullest extent.

"ahh, it's okay," you utter in a sweet voice, instantly noticing how neuvillette's breathing hitched and his muscles relaxed, but you can more importantly feel the overeager acceleration of his hips grinding into your warm cunt, so eager it made you giggle,

"you're here now," your hands slowly cup his cheeks as he melts into your touch, a soft smile parting from his lips as neuvillette sighs in appreciation of you, "you're home now,"

now, heed yourself, because if you believe that you would be able to make neuvillette relax under this particular choice of words, you were clearly mistaken because with displaying it to him all exposed and while he pleasured you, infused with real desire, his heart burns through his strong chest as he let his lips trace the breadth of your cheek, lingering across your ear as his teeth sank into the nape of your neck, claiming you and deepening the approaching orgasm flooding through you from the very inside.

the greedy roll of his groin into your cunt was fast and ruthless, the repeated sounds of skin buzzing over skin slices across the shells of your ears as he begins to squeeze and knead the fat of your ass in his palms— to get a good hold on it, you know?

so neuvillette can twist and turn you against him as he pleases, fitting his hips in between your legs so perfectly that your walls shape a little too well around his throbbing length, his erection snugly tucked in as you pitch your hips up to receive his fast thrusts.

the way he handled you was interesting— both rough and soft that you're smiling from head to toe, the thought that neuvillette would never forget to be gentle with you despite the bundled up heat in his chest, he'd always fuck you right and nasty, his deep thrusts rattling through your skin that you think you'll bruise once he's done with you, your pitchy sobs uncontrolled at every draw his hips fucking you hard, plunging deep.

— ꒰ AYATO ꒱

the dizzying intensity of ayato's thrusts, the focused face when he grinds himself a little deeper in you, and lastly, the complete authority he held given his position were the key factors on your current state— his hands tight around your wrists, his dripping cock in a possessive hold that burned away the worries churning his mind and downed it to a single spark of nothingness, replacing it with deep need to feel and taste you all around him.

you'd think with all of this considered, most people honestly wouldn't believe that your boyfriend was actually anything else other than frightening and mysterious in his own rights— yet they do not know him the way you did, because ayato decided to show you his real, unprotected self.

when he comes home to you after a rough day consisting of his responsibilities, it was the best thing ever, something he was looking forward to each day— being enveloped by your warm hold while he nuzzles his face in the nook of your neck was the most soothing piece in his life.

your intoxicating scent and how you tasted would absolutely relax him— one kiss and he melts under your trace, although do not get fooled because it would also turn him on, your delicate touches and candid little kisses going straight to his cock like a strong bold of lightning of some kind, setting his loins on fire.

and ayato believes he must be dreaming when you finally lead him to the bedroom, carefully discarding the clothes he wore and taking your sweet time with undressing him, placing each individual piece next to you— never forgetting to be content when he exhales shakily at the way you soothed yourself on him, then he flinches when your cool finger pads slide across his strong abs, never stopping to admire his beauty like you completely worshipped him, just as much as he worshipped you.

with that out of the way, ayato's new choice of voice was low and commanding, it was mind altering to the point where it made a slight shiver manifest and run down your spine as he fills your cunt with the speed of lust and love.

your pussy was dripping through his shaft pistoling in and out until he's pushing hard and fast into you— both lost in the restless friction as you listen to the crumbling whimpers concealed behind his restless groans. your room was engulfed by the scent of sex and pheromones as you arch your back into his touch, your eyes drifting close on a fresh surge of lust splitting your pussy in half, head rolling aside in easy surrender.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[fetusgooseandjuice]

Trust Me

Pairing(s): Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: You haven’t been able to sleep in a couple weeks, and Natasha knows just the way to get you to close your eyes.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None? (If anyone finds any feel free to message me!)

Author’s Note: Heyy guys! I know I haven’t posted a fic in like 6 months, but I got writers block and it just never really went away. I’m not sure when I’ll post again, but I’ve had the idea for this fic for a while and I finally got the motivation to write it. It might not be that good but I hope you enjoy it at least a little! Think of it as a little Christmas gift :)

Author’s Note Pt. 2: Also, this is not proofread because I just wanted to get it posted so there might be some spelling and grammar errors!

You heavily sighed once again for probably the fifth time in the past five minutes. It’s been a few hours since you and Natasha had called it a night, and yet here you were at nearly three in the morning still lying wide awake.

Although it’s not as if you were surprised or expecting anything else. You’d been having trouble falling asleep since the first night you and Natasha arrived in Norway.

Despite not having gotten many hours of sleep lately, for some reason you still weren’t tired and still could not fall asleep.

When your girlfriend came to you a week and a half ago and told you she had no other choice but to leave the states in order to evade the government after the whole incident between Tony and Steve, you instantly decided you’d be going with her without a second thought and left no room for her to disagree.

After all she should’ve known you’d follow her anywhere, but you guess it’s taken a toll on you.

You wanted to sleep, and yet you weren’t sure what was keeping you up. Maybe you were worried about something happening to Natasha?

‘What if she gets caught? Or what if we both somehow get hurt?’ you thought.

But you knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself and keeping you safe at the same time.

Even with the amount of times you told yourself not to worry, your mind wouldn’t listen.

You eventually sighed and turned your head to look at the redhead behind you. Her arms were wrapped tightly around you and no matter how much she shifted throughout the night, she never let you go.

The mere thought of that would be enough to bring a smile to your face if you weren’t so frustrated with yourself.

Deciding you’d had enough of laying there awake, you carefully unraveled your girlfriend’s arms from around you and slid out of bed.

You almost shivered at the cool temperature of the trailer as your bare feet touched the floor and you made your way into the kitchen.

The random plastic bags on the counter rustled as you rummaged through them in search of something to snack on, finally coming across a bottle of water and a pack of chips you’d never heard of.

As you went to open the cap of the bottle, a pair of arms slipping around your waist startled you. The yelp you let out made the person behind you chuckle, and you relaxed recognizing the sound.

“Sorry, malysh (baby).” Natasha said and you turned to look at her to see the apologetic look she had on her face.

You gave her a slight smile before shaking your head, “It’s okay. But what’re you doing up right now, Nat? You should be asleep, you need to rest.”

She dipped her head down to press multiple kisses to the skin of your neck, “I could ask you the same question because so do you.”

You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to leave the warmth of your shared bed without her noticing.

“I just couldn’t sleep.” you said, making her eyebrows furrow as you opened your water bottle and took a sip. “But I know you’re still tired so you should go back to bed, I’ll be there soon.”

“No, not without you.” Natasha was quick to disagree, “What’s going on, dorogaya (darlin)? You were yawning quite a bit before we went to bed. Why can’t you sleep?” she rested her chin on your shoulder, ready to listen to what you had to say.

You sighed realizing that you were going to have to have this conversation now. Your shoulders shrugged, “I don’t know.” was all you offered.

Natasha stayed quiet, giving you the floor for when you were ready to add on. A moment later, you did.

“I haven’t really gotten any decent sleep recently, so I’m not sure why I can’t fall asleep or why I’m not tired.”

Your girlfriend pecked your shoulder blade, acknowledging that she heard you.

“How long has this been going on for?” she asked.

For a second you went quiet, not exactly wanting to answer when you remembered that now that she knew, she wasn’t going to let it go until she made it better.

“Since we left the states.” you admitted.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Once again, you shrugged your shoulders, “I didn’t want to worry you.” you said. “You already have a lot on your plate with this whole situation and I didn’t want to add more to it.”

You heard Natasha sigh and now you appreciated that fact that you weren’t standing face to face at the moment.

“I guess I’m thinking too much.” you added. “At night I finally get the time to actually think about stuff, and I worry about you and if you’re going to be okay.”

Natasha was also glad you weren’t standing face to face right now because if you were, you would’ve seen the way her lips pulled into a smile.

“Well if you’re going to worry about me then I think I have every right to worry about you.” she chuckled and you fought back a smile at it.

“I’m sorry.” you said.

She didn’t say anything for a few moments until you heard her soft voice with that hint of rasp speak up.

“Look at me, krasivyy (beautiful).”

You craned your neck to see green eyes which were filled to the brim with love and tenderness staring at you, the singular warm light above the kitchen sink allowing her to see your sad ones.

The frustration that’d been building up in you beginning to melt away ever so slightly.

“I want you to talk to me about what you’re going through.” Natasha spoke. “I don’t care about what you think I might have going on, you’re always my first priority, okay?”

You nodded as she raised a hand to caress your cheek, brushing a hair behind your ear in the process.

“I love you too much to have you worrying that pretty little head of yours all alone when I’m always right here for you.” she pressed her lips to your temple to emphasize her point. “So promise me next time you’ll tell me if somethings wrong?”

“I promise, and I love you too, Nat.”

“Good,” Natasha smiled and leaned in to connect your lips in a loving kiss, pulling away shortly after and leaning her forehead against yours. “I’m going to be okay, so there’s no need to worry. We’re both gonna be okay, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agreed. You knew Natasha would make sure of that.

“Alright, do you think you’re ready to head back to bed?”

You weren’t sure how to answer that. Even though you were relieved Natasha knew now and you talked about it, you still weren’t even close to being able to go to sleep.

“No,” you spoke quietly. “I’m still not really tired, and I honestly don’t know if I will be until this all blows over.”

Natasha went silent for a few moments, thinking. She turned you around to face her and moved your arms to wrap around her shoulders.

“Nat, what are you—”

“Shhh,” she interrupted your sentence, “Just trust me.”

So you did.

Her arms snaked back around your waist and pulled you into her. You weren’t exactly sure what she was doing until she began swaying with you from one side to the other.

You’d danced together before, but at Tony’s many parties. Not when you were trying to make yourself fall asleep.

“Nat, I don’t think—”

“You’re supposed to be trusting me. Do you not?”

“I do, but—”

“So shhh,” she said and you couldn’t help the little giggle you let out. “You said you were thinking too much, right?”

“Yeah.” you confirmed.

“So just relax and let me do all the thinking. I don’t want you to worry about anything except trusting me.”

“Okay.” you whispered, giving in and resting your cheek on her shoulder, allowing her to move you.

A few seconds later Natasha began humming. It wasn’t a song that you knew, but you recognized it as one of the many Russian lullabies she’s hummed and sometimes sang to you before.

The way she hummed them always made you feel relaxed and peace, and this time was no different. Because soon you started to lean into her more as you became more and more weary.

Your heavy eyelids fell shut and your head found security in her neck as you cuddled closer to it, happily letting her comforting scent soothe you.

After a couple of songs, Natasha finally looked at you to find you pretty much sound asleep.

She grinned to herself and pecked your head before lifting you into her arms, making her way back to your bedroom.

“Told you to trust me.”

~ end ~

[nekropsii]

ALPHA TROLLS RANKED BY HOW WRONG THE FANDOM AT LARGE IS ABOUT THEM:

This is a personal challenge, based entirely on my own experience and perspective, and also ranked from Most to Least Correct. I was bored, and thought this might be fun.

Putting this under a cut, because it's long as hell.

MEULIN LEIJON

People get her mostly correct, from what I’ve seen… Most of the time, fan content of Meulin is absolutely recognizable as Meulin, but her pride in her deafness + joy of learning new ways to interact with the world through/due to her disability is always removed, and I do not often see people tackle the Toxic Positivity aspect of her character. That seems less like character assassination, though, and more like a combination of people not actually playing through the Openbounds, people not being able to fathom disabled people (especially those who gained a disability later in life rather than being born disabled) being happy, and general fandom distaste for the idea of touching anything uncomfortable, especially when that uncomfortable topic is highly mundane, normalized, and potentially applicable to them or their loved ones. Meulin’s toxic positivity was, of course, commentary on Tumblr’s ecosystem at the time, so… It was much harder to touch back then.

ARANEA SERKET

People tend to get her general, broad strokes personality right, but unfortunately she gets treated pretty roughly for the crime of Being A Serket. People refuse to understand her motivations, and she often gets demonized for what she was doing around/during [S] Game Over, even though that was something she’d gotten pushed to and also was cool as fuck to watch. God forbid a woman do anything.

DAMARA MEGIDO

People are right about the racism, 100%. It is completely despicable, hard to look at, and extremely blatant. She does, however, have character outside of that. No, it isn’t “whore”, it’s more like “angry, dysfunctional abuse victim”, and she’s genuinely a very interesting and tragic character. But, again, people are right about the racism, so she gets to be placed way up here.

MEENAH PEIXES

She is such a chaotic little bastard. I love her. I really do. Please understand that she genuinely does not understand the concept of consequences. This girl didn’t have a Lusus, she didn’t have parents, it was functionally illegal to tell her “No, you can’t do that.” That would fuck up literally anyone’s moral compass. That’s not me hand waving away all the fucked up and bad shit she’s done, we all know what she did, but people tend to forget this aspect of her character and it pains me deeply, because it is a very genuinely interesting concept that I want to see more of. She’s capable of regret, we’ve seen her feel it, I just don’t think foresight is her forte. No one raised her to consider consequences, or help her experience them in a healthy way, because nobody raised her period.

Also, her ass is not butch, she is the girliest girl in the entire comic. She is about hot pink and glitter and kiss marks and unicorns and cute little puns and you will respect that. She is not masculine. Her ass is not masculine nor is she butch. Let her be her hyper-feminine self.

LATULA PYROPE

Please for the love of god there is more to her character than “Gamer Girl” and “Mituna’s Girlfriend”. You are falling for her fucking ruse. Please. Please. Please recognize that her entire character is about internalized misogyny, and being forced to overcompensate for misogyny in gaming circles as a gamer who happens to be a woman. Please. I’m begging.

KURLOZ MAKARA

His character is not that deep, it’s mostly just a string of events he is mysteriously, inexplicably involved with. The Makaras are extremely Function Over Form- their characters practically do not exist, they're mostly just plot devices that exist to push the story along. I'm sorry to Makara fans. You just invented a guy in your mind and decided he was real. He is also not that soft, though, and his relationships with both Meulin AND Mituna are not healthy. Hard to stop people from ascribing cutesy squishy lovey dynamics to random men who happened to have looked at each other once, though. Some people truly haven't graduated from 2012.

HORUSS ZAHHAK

I am begging people to consider that maybe the biggest issue here is not that he is “Bad Otherkin/Therian Representation” and is in fact maybe the fact that Hussie was actually making fun of Systems when he was writing Horuss. Because Horuss is canonically a system. He uses the word system. He uses the word switching. He uses the word host. He literally talks about his Plurality at length in extremely upfront, plain terms. I don’t know how him being “Bad Otherkin Representation” was and still is the main discourse about him. It makes me insane. That is a commentary that truly writes itself. Talk about having your priorities out of wack, honestly...

PORRIM MARYAM

No, she is not a MRA, she’s just a regular feminist who happens to live on a different planet with different politics and social hierarchies from Our Real World Earth’s USA. Whatever argument you’re about to pull out of your ass to say that she sucks is bad. She already explained what she meant by that, in more detail, very clearly, and she was right. Half the time she’s literally just giving you factual information about what Beforus was like, and literal plot synopses. She isn’t saying anything insane. She’s literally normal. I don’t know why people cannot handle or process this. Porrim has not ever said anything controversial. If you disagree with this you’re either misconstruing her on purpose or you fell for Kankri’s bait, and that’s just fucking sad at that point.

Also, she’s more than a sex object, and her tits are not huge. Honestly, half the shit she was saying was just “I am more than my sex life”, and so many people took that and made her main character trait her sex life. Just pathetic.

RUFIOH NITRAM

This man is a fucking war criminal and I will stop at nothing until he is behind bars for his crimes against Damara. Raging misogynist. Total fucking cunt. Just the worst. If I talk any more about this, this part will be 1,000 paragraphs long. But also, I’m begging people to recognize his relationship with disability, too. He was similar to Meulin in the sense that he didn’t mind his disability, and his biggest gripe with it was the way that Horuss tried to “fix” it… Which is an interesting way to expand upon how Beforus’s culling system is not only very explicitly ableist, but mimicking real world systemic ableism. I also want people to recognize that Hussie is actively having a conversation about the reclamation of slurs with Rufioh’s character, and how not letting people reclaim such language is doing nothing but giving the word power against them while stripping away their own personal agency. Rufioh’s a complicated guy, and he’s interesting and also the worst, and I am really tired of how he gets watered down to nothing but “Pretty Boy Victim Of His Inexplicably Psycho Ex”.

MITUNA CAPTOR

Holy Fucking Shit, You Guys Are Ableist.

KANKRI VANTAS

To this day I see people saying he was just Hussie making fun of SJWs. To this day. To this day people think Hussie was trying to make Every Tumblr Leftist look bad, and that he hates them Because They Are Leftists. When will people recognize him as a bootlicker to the oppressive class and the violently bigoted. When will people recognize that. When will people recognize that this is more of a commentary on the legitimate real flaws of Tumblr’s politics at the time. When. When.

When will people stop portraying him as a lovey-dovey Catholic Whore. I’m going to stab my fucking eyes out and then kill everyone in this building. Me when it's based and cool to ship an aroace character with a sexual predator. I GUESS.

CRONUS AMPORA

I say this with every ounce of sincerity I can possibly muster as a person: What the literal actual fuck.

[papipedroo]

Unwelcome (Joel Miller x Reader)

Part Three of Whiskey Tears

Rated: Angst | Violence | Fluff | Suggestive | Age Gap | Assault | Language

Summary: You, Joel, and Ellie have been a trio from the start. You were a family, but you find your relationship with Joel withering when he starts to pull away. Now a new comer makes her way into Jackson and into Joel’s heart…

“Joel.”

Two months have gone by since that day and everything seemed to be slowly slipping away from your fingers. You were having trouble adjusting, but you were having even more trouble at the thought of loosing Joel.

“Joel.” Your fingers wrapped around his arm and you gently shook him.

He didn’t touch her or kiss her, but her presence was just there. Always around him. Always driving a wedge between the two of you.

“Joel. It’s time to wake up.” You spoke softly.

It hurt and so you argued more than you ever have. Even before when you were a firefly, neither of you argued this much. You argued until there was nothing left. Until your breath could barely keep you alive.

His eyes opened to find you kneeling beside him on the floor. You were beautiful… You were always beautiful to him. He glanced to the window where the sun was already high up in the sky.

“Where are the others?” He asked.

“Ellie is at the barn again, apparently she’s got a real knack in taking care of the horses. You two might just get your sheep farm on the moon soon.” You spoke softly as you brushed loose curls away from his face.

His hair was getting longer and it made you smile, “You need a haircut love.”

“Don’t wanna do it.” He mumbled.

“I’ll do it later tonight.” You rubbed your thumb against his cheek, taking in the precious moment between the two of you.

He leaned into your touch making your heart jumped before worried settled in at the dark circles under his eyes.

“You need to stop sleeping on the couch Joel.” You sighed as you rubbed his arm, “You need your bed.”

“But you need—” He began to say, but you didn’t let him finish.

“I know.” You sighed before getting up, “Come, we have to meet with Maria and Tommy soon. Maria says she has some good news.”

Joel nodded his head as he sat up, his back aching from the couch. If only he was younger, this would feel like nothing. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so insecure when it came to you. He silently got up and made his way to the bathroom to get ready.

You were pouring him some coffee when he appeared in the kitchen.

“Your shirt is on backwards.” You spoke teasingly.

“Shit.” He muttered as he took off his shirt because you were in fact right.

You couldn’t help the way your eyes raked over his chest. He wasn’t overly fit, but he had muscles where it count. Your cheeks heat up as you remember the night you were able to touch him, run your hands across his chest over each scar he had. You didn’t realize how much you missed that and the only thing you could do is bite your lip to keep yourself from hopping across the counter and jump him.

“And what about Heather?” Joel asked once his shirt was fixed.

You took a sharp breath and your feelings turned sour, “She’s with Mikel.” You explained shortly.

His brows furrowed, “Mikel is supposed to be on patrol today.”

You nodded your head, “He’s going to be teaching her the ropes now that she’s been here for a while and settled in.”

“I could have done that.” He stated gruffly, “After what she’s been through, she is not very trusting towards anyone.”

You took in a sharp breath, “Everyone has been through something Joel.” You said carefully, “I asked Maria about it and we agreed Mikel would be a great fit for her. I was on a route with him when you disappeared, he’s my age and very capable of protecting her if need be.” You encouraged, “Besides, you and I go on patrol, you wouldn’t have the time to do both.”

“So you decided this on your own without asking me about my opinion?” He asked gruffly, a sharp edge to his tone.

You looked down at the counter. You were too embarrassed to admit that you did decide without asking him because you were scared he wouldn’t choose you.

“It’s you and I.” You stated as your voice wavered, “It’s been you and I.”

Silence grew between the two of you.

“Not always.” He finally said in a tone so soft you wouldn’t think it would come from Joel Miller himself.

And boy did what he say hurt you then any physical fight you have ever been in. What could you say to him? To be able to have him hold you in his arms again? To stop dragging you through rusted nails… You just wanted to stop hurting and he just kept pounding on the nails with a hammer.

“I am here now.” Your voice wavered, “Standing right in front of you. I am here, alive and bleeding out to you.”

You could see the wavering look in his eyes, “You’re too young.”

You held your ground, “You can’t keep pushing me away Joel.”

He shook his head, deciding that staring at the wall behind your seemed more interesting then the tears forming in your eyes, “I can’t do that to you.”

“Do what?” You quickly walked around the counter to face him, “Love me? Because if so why did you kiss me huh? Why did you touch me? Why give me hope that you could actually love me back? Tell me then. Tell me that you don’t love me.”

Your fury grew when his silence lingered.

“Tell me Joel!” You yelled at him and in that moment you were glad that Ellie wasn’t in the house.

He didn’t answer… He didn’t want to because he knew what he would say and he knew that would be the end of him. Instead he turned and did what he always did… Keep everything buried.

“Come on. We’ll be late.” He turned and walked to the front door without touching the coffee you made him.

You glared at him with nothing with but a heart filled with fiery, “It’s because you love me too. Isn’t it?”

His shoulders stiffened, but that was all the answer he would give you as he walked away.

You gave a small sigh before following after him.

It was long before you were hopping up the steps to Tommy and Maria’s home. Joel trailed behind you as you knocked on the door.

Not even a moment later and Maria was greeting you with her famous smile.

“Good morning.” You returned her smile and gave her a hug.

She gave you a tight squeeze, “Good morning.” She ushered you both inside, “Tommy’s making breakfast or at least trying to.”

“Oh boy.” You breathed out a laugh as the two of you followed her into their little breakfast nook by the kitchen.

“Mornin.” Joel greeted his brother.

You pulled out Joel’s chair before taking your seat as Maria brought over two mugs of tea.

“Thank you, I needed this.” You breathed out as you held the mug.

Your eyes then flickered to Joel pulling out a chair and sitting across from you.

Of course he’d do that. You sighed. Always one for the dramatics.

You were upset that he didn’t want to sit next to you, but you figured it was because of the conversation you both had earlier. Maria took a seat beside you instead, a small smile on her face as she watched Tommy bring over what was a poor attempt at omelets.

“Don’t say one word.” Tommy’s voice was playful as he barely scolded Maria.

Maria raised her hands up in mock surrender, “I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.” Tommy huffed with a small laugh as he took his seat as the head of his table.

“I think that food speaks for itself.” Joel joked.

“It looks… Edible none the least.” You murmured as you picked out egg shells, “You wont hear me complaining.”

“It’s perfect hunny.” Maria smiled as she leaned over a placed a kiss on Tommy’s cheek.

Your heart melted at the sight and an ache filled it. You could only dream of being that way with Joel… The things you would do just to get that man to show you that he loved you too.

The rest of breakfast was going over the upkeep of Jackson and the repairs that needed to be done. Apparently Liza and Julio’s spotted one of the perimeter fences on the east wall being bent inward from the snow the has been pilling up against it and some of the vegetables aren’t doing so well with the cold.

“We should get a group together to fix the fence first.” You said, “I can help out as well.”

“As for the vegetables… This winter is a lot worse then the previous ones we’ve had. We will have to make do with the vegetable we got until we get to warmer weather.” Maria stated.

“That sounds good.” Tommy agreed, “And I will put together a team after our breakfast to start working on the wall. I’ll let you know if we need any help, but thank you for the offer.”

“Of course Tommy.” You nodded your head.

“I also want to switch patrol routes with Mikel.” Joel announced at the table as breakfast was beginning to come to an end.

You looked away from your food and towards him within a second of his words appearing from his mouth, “Why? I thought our route for this week was pretty good.”

“No. I want Mikel to start taking you out on patrol.” He stated simply.

You dropped your fork, “Why? Did I do something wrong? Is this about earlier?”

“No.” He said again and you swore it was his favorite word, “You said it yourself. He’s younger and stronger. That means he can protect you.”

“I don’t want him to protect me.” You glowered, “I have you.”

“No. You don’t.” He stated gruffly, “You can’t rely on me forever.”

“I’m not relying on you! I pull my weight just as much as you do. We’re a team and you can’t just split us up.” You yelled at hi, “I won’t let you.”

He stood up abruptly with a scowl, “Enough! Fuck just listen to me for once! I’m doing this for you!”

“For me?” You stood up as well with a scoff, “You know what, I’ll listen to you when you start making sense Joel!”

“I don’t want you! Can you listen to that?!” He yelled and suddenly the room went silent.

“Fuck you Joel.” You murmured before storming away.

“Have your fucking switch then! See if I care!” You yelled before slamming the door.

“Good job Joel.” Maria rolled her eyes. She stood up and began to collect the dishes, “When are you going to stop being an asshole and realize that you need her just as much as she needs you?” She stated before walking away to put the dishes in the sink.

She rushed to the door to put on her shoes and coat before going to find you. You were more important to her than some dirty dishes that she can clean later.

Joel sighed as he slumped down into his seat.

“What’s going on brother?” Tommy asked.

Joel didn’t speak, not for a few minutes. He was trying his best to keep himself from loosing his shit.

“Nothing.” He mumbled.

“Well that’s a stupid answer coming from you.” Tommy laughed.

“I’m old Tommy.” Joel sighed.

“Yeah.” Tommy laughed, “We’re all old and what’s your point?”

“She’s not.” He stated simply.

A realization dawned across Tommy’s voice, “Is that why you are pushing her away?”

“She deserves more than an old man.” Joel sighed in defeat, “I just wish she would see that.”

“That’s not for you to decide.” Tommy pointed out, “That’s her decision and I can see that she’s not going to change it.”

“But I can help her change it.” Joel said as he looked up at his brother, “Just help me make her see that. That Mikel kid or whoever could be good for her. She needs someone her age and I need someone my age. That’s how it should be.”

“So what? Is that why you’re so attached to Heather? Because you feel like you’re not enough for the girl who has been in love with you for months just because she’s a little younger?”

“It’s not just a little younger.” Joel grumbled,

Tommy shook his head as he stood up, “I’m not going to help you break her heart.”

“You did this with Ellie too and look how that turned out?”

Tommy placed a hand on Joel’s shoulder, “You deserve happiness too, brother.”

“And she deserves someone who is strong enough to protect her.” Joel replied, a solemn tone to his voice.

You soon found yourself scrubbing aggressively at the bar counter.

“Fuck him.” You grumbled as you cleaned, “And not in the good way. Not like he’s been wanting that lately.”

Maria nodded her head, “I’ll admit he is being a dick.”

“Who’s being a dick?” Ellie hopped up on a barstool.

“Joel.” You and Maria both said at the same time.

That is until you did a double take to see that it is Ellie.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working at the barn?” You asked inquisitively, “What are you doing here?”

“I finished all my tasks and saw you both in the window. Why is Joel being a dick?”

“Sweetie, you can’t call him that.” You scolded her lightly, “And he’s not… He’s just…”

“Being a dick.” Maria stated simply.

Her input made the three of you burst out laughing. You smiled at the lighten mood as you reached for a glass. You poured Ellie some water before setting it infront of her.

“Can’t I get some of that?” She asked, pointing to your glass that you were currently filling with whiskey.

You shook your head, “Not until you’re old enough.”

“But it’s the apocalypse?” Ellie looked at you confused.

“Doesn’t mean someone as young as you can drink.” You crossed your arms.

Ellie sighed, “Yes mom.”

“Maybe just talk to him later tonight. Find the real reason about his decision.” Maria advised.

I nodded my head before looking at Ellie, “I’m not going to lie to you. Joel and I are arguing. Can you please stay with Maria and Tommy tonight so I can talk to him?”

Ellie nodded her head slowly, “Why are you two arguing? Is it because of Heather cause if so I don’t like her.”

I sighed, “It’s hard to explain and even harder to talk about it. I won’t talk badly about your dad, not in front of you.”

It was late by the time you went home after you dropped Ellie off at Maria and Tommy’s. They gave you some good news that cheered you up a bit. It might just be the change you both needed. Now all you had to do was tell him. You were just trying to get the courage to step inside your front door.

You finally stepped inside and was met with the lights being on, but no one around.

“Joel?” You called out to him as you took your shoes off.

He didn’t answer you, but you could hear soft muffled voices coming from upstairs. You took a step, each one leading you up the stairs and down to Joel’s room… The door was already wide open and an unwelcome feeling filled your gut as you got closer. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know what lied behind the doorway.

Your body however, carried you into the room. Relief filled your chest at seeing the bed empty and left how you made it in the morning. You glanced around the room to the light that flooded out from the bathroom. You stepped closer to the door, a female laugh fluttering from it making your stomach twist and your chest tighten at what you saw.

Joel sat on a stool that was definitely taken from the kitchen and a bath towel draped around him. Heather stood with a pair of scissors as she cut at the ends of his hair. This was thing that you were supposed to do not her.

“You’re cutting his hair.” Your voice was dull as you repeated what you saw.

“Oh! Yes, I forgot my hair tie when I left this morning so I came back and overheard you telling Joel that he needed a haircut and I thought I might help out and give him one.” Heather smiled at you.

You bit the inside of your cheek. Your gaze flickered to Joel’s who was staring at you from the mirror. He could see the fallen expression on your face and the way that you were holding back your tears.

“I think she can finish my hair Heather.” Joel said without taking his eyes off of you.

“But…” Heather tried to say something else, but he cut her off.

“Thank you.” He said simply.

Heather released a huff before walking towards you and handing you the scissors before leaving.

“C’mere.” He spoke with a gentleness in his tone that you haven’t heard in months. That tone always made you shiver and you felt like he knew that. Of course he did, he’s fucking observant when he wants to be.

You felt like your emotions were going to explode as you stepped towards him. The events of earlier today and now walking in on seeing the person you wanted to punch in the face touching your Joel’s hair… You were either going to punch the man or kiss him depending on his explanation.

“I know you wanted to do it, but she was insistent that she could do it because she used to cut her husband’s hair before he died and she missed it… I had a hard time saying no.” He explained carefully as if he were talking to a stray cat and maybe you were in that moment, but his explanation seemed to apease you enough.

You nodded your head. You didn’t want to argue, not after today. You ran your fingers through his hair before taking a few strands to trim.

“I don’t like how we left off earlier.” You spoke softly.

“I know.” Joel sighed, “I don’t either.”

“I really don’t want to go on patrol with Mikel. I want to stay with you.” You pleaded lightly.

Joel furrowed his brow, “That’s not up for debate.”

“It shouldn’t even be on the table.” You muttered as you took another strand of his hair, a huff passing your lips in frustration, “I don’t like the way she cut your hair.”

Joel chuckled and warmth filled your stomach at the sound, “Then fix it firefly.”

You continued to cut Joel’s hair the way you knew he liked it. The way that it made you want to run your fingers through his hair every second of the day. After some time in a peaceful silence, you spoke up to tell him about the news you heard from Maria and Tommy when you dropped Ellie off earlier.

“I have some good news.” You spoke timidly, “About Heather.”

“What is it?” He asked.

“Well… Maria and Tommy just informed me that Tris will gladly take Heather as a roommate. Apparently, they’ve been getting along really well together since Heather arrived here. Tris’s house is as big as ours and she says feels lonely having the house to herself.”

Joel took a moment to respond before he asked, “Does Heather know about this yet?”

“Not yet.” You whispered, “Maria and Tris are going to come by for lunch tomorrow to talk it over.”

“I see.” Joel nodded.

“Hey.” I giggled lightly as I barely smacked him on the shoulder, “Don’t move your head or do you want to go bald?”

“I prefer my hair thanks.” Joel grumbled with a small chuckle.

You smiled when he held still, “Better.”

When you finished trimming his hair it looked much neater and yet it had an un-tameness to it that made you bite your bottom lip. You felt a terrible idea pop into your head as you set the pair of scissors down before standing behind Joel. He looked at himself in the mirror with contomept.

“It looks good.” He agreed with your thoughts.

You ran your fingers through his hair as if you were smoothing it out until your fingers curled and you began to massaged his scalp.

His reaction was almost immediate as he leaned back against you on the stool. You could see his eyes roll to the back of his head as he let out a quite hm. It made you want to laugh at how pliable he was when you massage his head.

“I like it too.” You murmured to which he couldn’t quite process.

“Mm.” He agreed.

“How was your day?” You asked when you spotted the way his face scrunched up in pain when he moved his body.

“Had to rebuild that fence, go huntin with Tommy.” He murmured with a grunt, “Found a buck.”

“You must be exhausted. It was really cold today.” You continued to massage his head.

“Twas nothin.” He replied, but you knew better. You knew how sore he could get after a long day.

“I think it’s time we should head to bed, hm?” You asked in a soft tone as to not startle him.

“Mmhm.” He agreed without a second thought.

You leaned down a pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head, “Come on then.”

You took the towel off his shoulders before leading him to his bed. He was too exhausted to argue with you as you made him lie down. You took his jeans, leaving him in his boxers and shirt as you covered him with his blanket.

“Good night Joel.” You whispered to him.

Your plan was to sleep on the couch tonight so that he could get some rest. You quietly slipped out of the room once you headed his breath even out. Your footsteps padded across the cold wood floors. You made sure to grab an extra blanket before padding over to the couch that Joel’s been using as a bed this past week. Of course his blanket was neatly folded on the side table with his pillow placed on top.

A small hum slipped passed your lips as you began to make your bed for the night. Hopefully it will be as comfortable as Joel has tried to make you believe.

“You’re really desperate aren’t you.” A voice carried its way from the kitchen entrance.

“Excuse me?” You turned to Heather with a shocked look.

“Desperation it’s dripping off of you like melted snow.” Heather said as if she was talking about the weather, “And your insecurity too, very unflattering might I add. When did your father die? I just want to know when your daddy issues started or have you always had a thing for older men?”

I stood up straight as I glared at you, “Just what’s your plan here? You really think you can throw insults at me and I would just crumble?”

“Oh I’m not insulting you at all. I’m just saying what I see and I don’t see much. Goodnight.” She smiled before walking away, leaving you there fuming.

What in the world was that about?

“I can’t wait for her to get out of my fucking house.” You muttered as you lied down on the couch.

You came to as you felt the warm glow of the sun hit your face. You stretched your arms as you yawned, rolling over to stretch further on your bed. Only you weren’t on your bed and you soon felt gravity as you fell onto the floor with a thud.

“Ow…” You groaned as you blinked your eyes open.

“Mornin.” Came Joel’s deep voice that felt like melted butter and whiskey.

“Fuck… Don’t do that.” You groaned as you rubbed your eyes with the palms of your hand.

His brows furrowed in confusion, “Do what?”

“Say mornin’ like you just came back from doing hard labor.” You huffed.

“But I did just come back from doing that.” He chuckled.

He did? Wait. Is his shirt off?

“Huh?” You asked dazed.

You tilted your head to find him leaning against the entry way with a mug of coffee in his hand, shirt intact. A bubble of disappointment filled your face until you spotted his smirk.

Shit… He knew what I was thinking. Of course he did.

You grumbled incoherent words, no doubt insults towards the older man as you stood up.

Joel watched you get up, he couldn’t help it. His eyes traced the skin visible from where your shirt had risen up as you slept. It was only, but a second before he shook those unwelcome thoughts away.

“Talked with Tommy, Ellie wants you to work with her at the barn.” Joel relayed the message he was given, “She’s waitin for ya.”

“Work at the barn? But I’m not that good with horses…” You sighed lightly in defeat, “But for Ellie, I’ll go get ready.”

“Atta girl.” He was grinning now and you knew he was remembering the last time you tried to saddle up your horse.

You weren’t bad at taking care of and saddling up horses so to say… You just weren’t that good at it either.

“Don’t.” You muttered.

“Wasn’t going to.” He mused as he took a sip of his coffee.

You padded over to him and reached your hand out, “Gimme.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, “Get your own, firefly.”

“I don’t want to get my own. I just want a sip. Please.” You reached towards his mug again.

He didn’t even try to pull it away from you. He just let you grab the mug out of his hand and drink the coffee he made for himself. How he was, the way he acted… It was like before.

Was this all because I massaged his head? You mused to yourself as you took another sip of his coffee. You couldn’t take your eyes off of his rugged handsome face. He looked a lot more rested. You noted.

You also noticed the way his eyes seemed to be staring at the way your lips wrapped around the rim of his mug.

“Morning you two!” The spry voice had you jumping.

You had forgotten that she was here.

“Morning.” Joel greeted.

You nodded at her, not wanting to greet her with a good morning after the way she spoke to you last night. You wondered if you should tell Joel what she said… Then you wondered if he would believe you over her.

He was in such a good mood though, you didn’t want to ruin anything.

“Tris and Maria are coming by for lunch, they want to talk to you about something.” You said to her as politely as you possibly could.

“They did? Well I don’t have any work today so I suppose I can tidy up the house a bit and make lunch for when they arrive.” Heather agreed.

As long as she agrees to moving out then I don’t care what she does.

Heather then poured herself a cup of coffee before looking towards Joel, “Do you want a cup handsome?” She asked him with a light tone.

A scowl made its way onto your face. You held up the mug you were holding towards her.

“He’s got some, but thanks.” You stated smugly as you handed Joel his coffee mug back.

He brought his mug up to his lips and took a sip from where your lips were just moments before. He looked none the wiser at the two women about to scratch each other’s eyes out. Of course he didn’t. Joel was never good at feelings.

You could see a scowl quickly appear and disappear on Heather’s face before she was back to her cheerful self.

“Okay, well there’s more here if anyone wants some.” She said before taking a sip.

You left the two and emerged fifteen minutes later dressed and ready to head out. Joel who was now sitting at the kitchen table with Heather talking about how Joel had to go help his brother today so he couldn’t help Heather clean the house.

You stepped up beside Joel, standing next to him while he remained seated. You ran your right hand through his freshly trimmed haircut, something that he didn’t mind at all.

“I’m going to head out to see Ell’s. Do you want me to pick up anything while I’m gone?” You asked him and only him.

Heather was leaving soon. You thought dismissively. Good riddance.

“We’re out of carrots. Maybe the two of you can stop by the garden and pick some up?” Joel asked.

You nodded your head as your hand traveled down to the side of his neck, “Anything else?” You asked as you rubbed the sliver of skin that wasn’t hidden by his flannel.

“No…” Joel said, his voice much lower than before as he glanced down at his coffee mug.

You gave Heather a triumphant look before stepping away, “See you later.” You waved them off before leaving.

It wasn’t long before I was met with an excited Elli who jumped on my back the moment she saw me.

“Soooo? How did it go? Was my leaving all for not?” She pressed, wanting to get all the gossip, “Shall I get my pitchfork?”

“I think everything went well.” I said as I smiled softly to myself.

I carried her over to the stables, trying my best not to topple over with the growing girl. I aware she was getting taller by the day.

“Maria told me that Heather’s finally leaving!” Ellie fist pumped the air by my head, “Dude, I swear she is weird as hell. Definitely hiding a bomb or something.”

I laughed as I set her down by the barn doors, “I couldn’t agree with you more.”

I faced her with my hands on my hips, “Now little bug. What is our mission today?”

A wide grin spread across her face as she clapped her hands, “Have you ever trimmed hooves before?”

My face fell, “Don’t tell me…”

“Yep!” Ellie exclaimed, “Get ready to possibly be bit, stepped on, and kicked.”

My eyes widened at her words.

“Let’s get to it!” Ellie stated as she grew open the barn doors.

“Oh boy.” I sighed, but followed my daughter nonetheless.

The sun was high in the sky by the time you and Ellie were walking down our street. The two of you were holding hands as Ellie swung your linked hands as hard as she could. Your other hand was carrying a small bag of carrots that Joel had asked for and you hoped he’d be pleased that you remembered.

The two of you were laughing as Ellie recounted your great fail at trying to keep Buttercup still.

“I still can’t believe she pushed you over.” Ellie laughed as you both walked into the house, “Joel!” She yelled.

The two of your were giggling as you entered the living room to find the two of them on the couch. Heather was in a mess of tears, clinging to Joel who was trying to console her.

“Uh…” Ellie’s voice trailed off in confusion, “What’s going on?”

You left to place the bag of carrots on the kitchen counter before returning to the living room to listen to Joel explain.

“She’s having a panic attack.” Joel explained as Heather buried her face into his shirt.

He was quick to pull her into his side and settle her. That movement made you frown as you watched the two. Why the hell is she snuggling up to him? Why is he allowing it?

“About what?” You asked as you looked between the two skeptically.

“About leaving. She doesn’t want to go.” Joel explained.

“I’m sorry!” Heather sobbed and you couldn’t tell if she was really crying or if she was that good of an actress.

“It’s just I don’t feel comfortable around anyone else.” She continued, her voice laced with guilt and remorse.

“What do you mean? You and Tris get along great. I know that because she told me that herself.” You crossed your arms, not buying the ‘I’m scared act’, “She said that you two go out for lunch together almost everyday.”

“I know, but that’s different than living with someone. She’s the first friend that I made here and I just don’t want to ruin it. I can’t bring myself to leave, I’m so sorry dear.” Heather carried on as she wiped her tears.

You sighed, not liking the idea of trying to console her, but you would use any means if it would get her out. It’s been weeks now and you’ve just about had enough, especially after last night.

“I’m sure to won’t be too bad.” You tried to persuade her, “It might be nice living with someone your age.”

“But you have proved it yourself that’s not the case.” She countered as she motioned to Joel and Ellie.

“I’m just gonna go…” Ellie made a motion to go upstairs and you nodded before she ran away.

Lucky girl.

“I don’t want to be a burden to any of you. I really am sorry for my decision, please don’t hate me.” Heather insisted, “I really would love for us to be friends.”

You tried not to roll your eyes. Like hell you want to be friends and you you’ve been a burden since you set foot through my door.

“I’m sorry, hate you?” You huffed as you popped your hip out with a knowing look, “After what you said last night, that word doesn’t even cover it. So yeah I do. Now get the fuck out of my house.”

“Be nice.” Joel scolded with a low tone directed towards me.

“You don’t know what she—“ You tried to explain what happened last night. How small she made you feel, but Heather wouldn’t allow it.

She leaned into Joel as her panic attack rose, “I didn’t say anything I swear I didn’t. I just want to belong here. You saved me Joel, please don’t abandon me. I can’t bear the thought of being alone.”

“I won’t abandon you… You can stay here.” Joel insisted which made your blood boil.

Was he being serious right now?

“Joel.” You turned your attention to him, trying your best to keep from shouting, “Can I talk to you for a minute in private?”

Joel nodded his head before following out to the front porch.

“You can’t let her stay.” You said the moment the door shut behind you both.

“She said that she thought it over some more and she wouldn’t feel comfortable living with someone she doesn’t really know.” He sighed.

But she’s been living with us. I wanted to say, but I held my tongue.

“Please just trust me.” You grabbed his arm with a pleading look on your face, “I’m being serious right now Joel. You don’t know her that well. Hell, none of us do. I swear she’s been acting strange the moment you brought her here. First my room, then breakfast and taking over my tasks, trying to cut your hair. Not to mention the fact that she said that I—”

You could see the way his face came to a conclusion of something and you had hoped that maybe then he was realizing what you had been seeing since day one, but of course… You were wrong.

“You’re jealous.” He stated simply.

“What?” You shook your head at the audacity of this man, “No, I’m not.”

He pulled his arm from your grip, “Yes. Yes you are. That’s why you’ve been acting like she has some kind of vendetta against you. She told me you were jealous and that’s why you have been mean to her, but I didn’t think you would go this far to push her out of our lives after the horror she’s experienced.”

You felt a strong punch to your gut as you listened to him speak. The way he spoke about her as if your feelings meant nothing to him made you want to scream.

“She’s the nicest person in this town and has been nothing, but kind to you and Ellie. She’s scared and you’re only making it worse for her to settle in here.” He finished with a sigh.

She doesn’t know us. You don’t understand. Why won’t you listen? You thought angrily.

“Are you being serious right now?” You glared at him, “You’re… You’re defending her over me?”

“I’m not defending no one. I’m saying that you’re taking this too far.” He ran a hand through his unruly hair with a huff, “You need to put your feelings aside for me and realize that she just wants to feel at home somewhere. After what she’s been through, she needs comfort and we can give that to her.”

Angry tears formed in your eyes, but you held them back. You couldn’t believe what Joel was saying and it hurt how much he wasn’t listening to you.

“Fuck you and fuck her comfort! I don’t feel comfortable! Right now. Right here. Hell, this past week I have felt anything but comfort. I feel unwelcome in my own home Joel.” You cried out.

“Don’t do this firefly. You need to start letting people in. That’s what you told me when we first met remember?” He placed a hand on your shoulder, “Who knows… Maybe it’s best that she stays. The three of you can help each other feel at home here.”

“Her help us? We’ve been just fine on our own, thank you. The three of us! No more and no less!” You shoved him which barely made him move.

He remained silent as he let you rant, his hand falling back to his side.

“I don’t want her here. I want her gone Joel.” You stated firmly, “Ellie doesn’t want her here either.”

Joel sigh as he crossed his arms, “Heather told me about the things you said to her last night. The horrible things you said to her and the threats you made.” Joel said suddenly with a disapproving tone to his voice, “I thought you were better than that especially after what you went through. I thought you of all people would make someone feel welcomed.”

You felt small under his gaze as you tried to explain yourself, “Of course I would try to make everyone feel welcome and I did Joel. I did try, but she…” Your brows furrowed, “I didn’t say anything to her last night…” Your eyes widened at the realization of what she was doing. She was pitting Joel against you with lies and it was working… Again.

That final thought made you snap as you stepped away from Joel.

“That bitch.” You seethed as you rushed into the house.

“What are you doing? Wait! Don’t!” Joel yelled from behind you, but you were on a mission.

You bounded up the steps, much faster than Joel could as you raced to your room. You had a feeling that she was gloating with her new success in making Joel turn against you. Of course she did, she was downright evil. The door banged against the wall as you shoved it open, finding her sitting at the foot of your bed.

“How dare you come into my home and try to turn him against me.” You sneered as you took quick steps towards her, “I didn’t say anything to you, it was you who has been fucking with me ever since you’ve gotten here! What is your goal here? To take over my life?”

Heather’s eyes widened as an anxious expression appeared on her face, “I have no idea what you are talking about dear—”

It was such a relief seeing her skin turn red as you finally got the chance to slap her across her smug face. Her scream did nothing to stop your anger from rising.

You swiftly grabbed the collar of her shirt before she could get up and run. You wanted to make your threat clear as you glared down at her, “You’re not welcome here.”

Her expression went from panicked to calm as she relaxed in your grip. It unnerved you as you watched her persona change so quickly.

“Oh, but I think I am.” Heather whispered with a smirk, “And soon nobody here will feel safe. Not even your precious Ellie.”

That hit a nerve in you at the mention of Ellie’s name.

“Fuck you.” You spat in her face as you lunged yourself on top of her.

You pinned her down to the bed as she gasped for breath. Your hands wrapped around her throat and she desperately tried to claw at your hands, but nothing nudged you.

The only thing that you could feel was a motherly rage at the mention of Ellie not being safe. You would burn this entire town down before letting that happen.

Die. Die. Die. Die.

It was a blink of an eye before you were roughly pulled off of her and thrown into your old dresser. The dresser shook and a picture frame of you, Joel, and Ellie toppled to the ground with a sickening crack. You gasped at the impact as pain rippled through your side and you had a feeling that it would be bruised in the morning.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Joel raised his voice, directing his anger towards you.

“You don’t understand!” You yelled at him as you gripped onto the dresser to keep yourself from falling to the floor, “Can you not see it or are you too blinded by the helpless victim act?”

“I think you should leave tonight.” Joel stated, his eyes flickered to you leaning into the dresser, but said nothing of it. He wasn’t aware of how much strength he used when he pulled you off of Heather. The only thing currently running through his head was not seeing anyone die tonight.

“What? Leave?” You looked up at him confused, “Did you not hear a word I just said? She is using you!”

Joel sighed, “What could she possibly be using me for? I have nothing to offer.” He shook his head, “I think it’s best you leave and clear your head. Maybe when you get some space you will see that she is not a threat.”

You looked at the woman who cowered on the bed, out of view from Joel, but not from you. You could see the victory in her eyes as she watched Joel protect her and not you.

You looked back to Joel with an empty feeling in your chest, “I want you to remember this moment when you realize I’m right, Miller. Goodbye.”

You swiftly stepped out of the room, ignoring the throbbing pain in your side. You saw Ellie peer out from her room with a concerned and scared expression on her face.

“What… What’s going on?” She asked with a timid voice, “Are you leaving? You’re leaving me?”

You shook your head as tears filled your eyes and quickly pulled her into a hug despite the pain you were feeling, “No of course I’m not leaving. I’m just going to stay with Tommy and Maria tonight, but listen…” You looked back and saw that neither of them had followed you out of the room.

You looked back towards Ellie and whispered in her ear, “Heather is dangerous. I don’t know what she has planned or why yet, but I need you to keep your knife close and keep an eye on Joel l until I figure it out okay?”

“Okay.” Ellie nodded, “I will, I promise.” Her eyes suddenly looked past your shoulder to Joel who was walking out of your room.

“I love you, my daughter.” You kissed her on the top of her head before quickly making your way downstairs, “See you later bug.”

“Love you too mom… See you later…” You heard her broken voice say as you walked out the front door.

I will end you, Heather. I will fucking end you.

[oh-babylove]

~7k. copia/f!reader. explicit. established relationship, smut, filth and fluff. copia does date night, and you show him your appreciation-- it's only fair. mdni.

thanks to @copia for showing me how to put images in a grid-- top right image by instagram user susitse.art. @enjoy-my-swearing and @photiniainsummer, this one's for you. <3

when the red comes over you - ao3

rhrn spoilers. blowjobs, masturbation, dirty talk, light degradation, a small piece of light cum kink, a touch of hanky-panky in public, some thigh riding, face-fucking, fluff, tw: references to past sexual assault/dubious consent/sexual trauma

You’re holding the same pole on the subway car as Copia, his gloved hand over yours, swaying with him, forced into his space by the crowd. It gives you an excuse to stand close to him, in the circle of his scent like cold smoke. You're not complaining– well, not much. Keeping your balance is a bit of a challenge– you aren't used to doing this in heels, even these modest Cuban heels. Riding the subway truly is riding, the rhythmic thrum of the rails swaying up your body, through the balls of your feet. Riding the train feels like riding a living thing.

“I like this,” you say, as if coming to a decision.

“Hnn?” Copia replies, raising an eyebrow as he looks down at you.

“Riding the train. I like it.” You lean in to murmur in his ear, not that you have far to go. It’s a matter of tilting your head until you can feel the warmth of his skin against your cheek. “But I’d like riding you even more.” It’s just the kind of cheesy nonsense that you’re both into.

Your body keeps brushing against his– a particularly hard bump has your belly pressed against his erection, and his choked-off gasp scores a direct hit to your brain stem, bypassing your ears, cinching something tight around your diaphragm. His hand tightens on your hip, possessive. Holding you up, keeping your balance.

“You little minx,” he hisses, frustrated--with a ragged edge of delight. “You wait till I get you home.”

“You caint blame that on me, now, that was the train,” you say, but you're close to laughing, yourself. You can hear your accent getting thicker, but damned if you can stop it. Besides, Copia loves it, loves ruffling your feathers enough that he can get you to slide back into that slurring hillfolk drawl. Someday he might even make you less self-conscious about it. 

Truth be told, you’ve been practically vibrating since before you left the apartment, restless and swollen between the legs, a low-grade ache that Copia has not been helpful with.

(The apartment. Your apartment. Yours, plural, now, you think. You’d never been a co-religionist of his, and he’d had a toothbrush at your place for a long time. Then a drawer in your dresser. Then he’d brought over his best frying pan, his best chef knife– simply because he couldn’t stand it, gattina, you cook with that? And now there’s as many of his books as yours on the shelves– shelves you put up with your own hands while he did ‘the heavy lookin’ on.’ His name isn’t on the lease, but he paid the rent for the next two months anyway. In full.

When you tried to fight him on it, he’d just shrugged. “Babydoll, I’ve been here more nights than I haven’t for the last four months, this is just… ehh, consider it backdated, yeah?” He’d kissed your forehead. “We can do half each after that. If you haven’t gotten sick of your dirty old man by then.”

It was hard to argue with that.

Copia kept his room at the Ministry, even after his… promotion. His term as Imperator, he’d decided, would be more hands off. You’d talked about it a little. Mostly in bed, sweaty and spent and a little sticky. “Mister Psaltarian is more than capable of running most of it. The administrative things. I’m better with the ghouls, I think, but there’s Kevin, and Ashley, they have it well in hand. I want the new guy to– to be able to be his own man, yeah? I’ll show him the ropes, of course, answer any questions he has, but he doesn’t need me looking over his shoulder all the damn time.”

The new guy. Hell of a way to refer to his long-lost brother. “And you ain’t ready to be around him twenty-four seven just yet.”

“...And that. Yes.” He was quiet for a moment. “You’re too perceptive, gattina. Keep it up and I’ll have to fuck you again, till you don’t think so good.”

“So… you sayin’ you gone fuck my brains out? Say, you ever notice that your man Psaltarian loses his train of thought whenever Kevin comes into the room?”

“That’s it, back in the handcuffs with you. And remember, you brought this on yourself.”)

As ever, he’d insisted on doing your makeup. (It should have been your first clue that you were in for it.) It only makes sense-- he’s better at it than you’ve ever been, and he loves doing it. You love it, too, if you’re honest. He had to take his gloves off for it, to hold your chin firmly and keep you in place. It was terribly intimate, his breath ghosting over your lips, the skin of his hand against your cheek. His quiet, gentle command held something still in the center of you, made it sing like a struck tuning fork– a calm vibration that sank into your bones. The cool brush of the eyeliner on the delicate skin of your eyelids. How meticulous he’d been, how precise. That calm focus he brings to everything that he cares about. How his whole being focused on that point, painting cat eyes sharp enough to kill a man.

Your lipstick had been worse, barely holding your mouth open, the brush sliding over the curve of your cupid’s bow, stretching out your lower lip ever so slightly. You hadn’t even known they’d made brushes for lipstick. Copia has taught you so many things.

Copia knows just what shades of red match your skin tone, knows just how to bring out the color of your eyes. He knows, too, the best cut of a dress to accentuate your figure, to flatter your curves. This one was lovely, shaping your breasts, with a little bit of flare to the skirt. He bought you this dress, these heels. This lingerie. He’s taught you how to fasten a silk stocking to a garter belt, that the underwear goes on over the garters, not underneath.

He’d taken the liberty of fastening your stockings tonight. “So the back seam is straight, gattina. I know it’s tricky to get right on your own, yes? Let me help.” His hands, his clever fingers, so high up on your thighs, his face level with your pussy.

“Oh yeah, sweetness, you're helping something, alright,” you choked out, a little strangled. 

He must have seen how wet you were already, if the self-satisfied hum he made behind you was any indication. He bit the crease of your ass, just lightly, making a goofy little rawr noise that made you actually giggle.

Embarrassing, the noises he gets out of you.

“You shaved,” he said, and it was supremely gratifying to hear him a little hoarse, himself. 

“Did you wanna do that, too?”

“Hnn. We’d miss our reservation.” He wasn't moving from his place on his knees behind you. “Miss the show.”

“Sound like you're enjoying this show purt’ well,” you said, but you thought it best to step into your underwear, anyway. 

Pain shared is pain lessened, isn't it?

…He didn't need to know that you only kept them on for a couple of minutes, just until you used the bathroom one last time on the way out the door.

You almost never know in advance where exactly Copia will take you when it's his turn to plan date night- generally your only clue is what clothing he picks out for you, how he does your makeup, if makeup is required. You've ranged over the city hitting up obscure museums before, taken tours in the underbelly of the public transportation system, gone to aviaries and magic shops and tiny greenhouses.

(You like to think you hold your own. Dive bars and twenty four hour diners, sidewalk art festivals and night markets, one memorable instance of a graffiti lesson– that had been an unexpected delight. 

Your man can be blisteringly uncool sometimes– most of the time, even– but there's no snobbery in him. No fear, either, not in the way most people are afraid: of embarrassing themselves, saying the wrong thing, of looking like a jackass. He hadn't been good at it, but he threw himself into the attempt wholeheartedly, listened to the man in the baggy jeans with the paint-stained fingers explain technique and theory and the history of the medium with total attention and enthusiasm. 

Never will you reach the bottom of him. His openness and his generosity and his good, good heart.)

Dinner and a show is almost a little pedestrian, for him, but there's comfort in the classics. A bar paneled in blond wood and washed in warm light, specializing in rare vinyls piped in on a very serious sound system as much as the cocktails. 

He’d been very good, kept his knee between yours, but otherwise, hadn’t even tried to put a hand up your skirt– a rarity, with him.  His eyes told a different story, watching you with obvious, predatory hunger. The second time you caught him ogling your cleavage he leaned into it, dragging his eyes salaciously down your body with enough force that you nearly felt his gloves snagging on your skin.

The cheeky motherfucker actually licked his lips at you.

You barked out your unlovely laugh, and the way he grinned took the sting out of the sharp glances cast your way– the aim was to listen to the obscure bossa nova, not to your fellow patrons. Your face was hot. “Ah, gattina, you cannot blame a man for looking. Not when you are as ravishing as that.” It wasn’t helping the heat in your face.

A glance at the mirror over the bar, old and pitted and a little smoky, the perfect self-aware touch of authenticity. You’d never have recognized the woman looking back, not when you first met Copia, this exquisite creature with perfect makeup. Sharp. Sexy. 

You don’t hate it.

“...Y’outdid yourself,” you said, slow. You didn’t look real to yourself, this absolute pinnacle of femininity. Copia’s gaze softened, warmed, less the slavering predator and more– a naked adoration that was hard to look at.

(Of course, neither expression was comparable to the first time he’d put you in an exquisitely tailored three-piece suit. You’d thought the man was going to pass out from how quickly his blood rushed south– but that’s a story for another day.)

He crowded your space, just this side of indecent, his knee halfway between your thighs. Copia fed you little morsels from his own fork of– whatever this was. A vaguely mediterranean inspired amuse-bouche. He took his time with it, making you duck your head while the cool tines slid against your lower lip. You kept his eyes for it, moving slow, relishing the way his mouth hung open. 

It’s a little much, in public, truly.

You weren’t even sure what you were eating, something perfectly balanced with rich cream, phyllo dough, an acidic tang. Spanakopita when it’s got a Michelin star or two, you thought. Copia’s little shudder at your groan of appreciation didn’t escape your notice, but you managed to keep the smugness out of your expression with truly heroic effort. 

From there, it was a short taxi ride with his gloved hand heavy on your knee, Copia keeping up a stream of polite chatter that you barely heard a word of. He’d gotten box seats in a lovely little jewel box of a theatre, for a revival of a classic two-man existential tragicomedy starring a couple of aging comedic actors known for their roles in a cultural zeitgeist film from around the turn of the last century.

It was a good effort, all told, and the actors weren’t bad– they had a chemistry borne out of twenty years of friendship that’s impossible to replicate. But Copia proved that he’s a true and faithful servant of the Devil somewhere around the start of the second act, when he peeled a glove off with his teeth.

Your chest went tight.

No wonder he wanted box seats, you thought, as he settled his hand back on your knee. Like it belonged there, like he had perfect possession of it, every right to edge just under the hem of your skirt. 

(His hands-- you love his hands. He’s self-conscious about the hair on the back of them, the dusting of freckles. Large and well-made and skilled, seeing them is like sharing a secret. A gift. He’s squeamish about textures, too sensitive, the slightest scrape will make him shudder-- and not in a fun way. Sandpaper would be torture. Anything gelatinous is right out. You get used to the constant grime and the vague awareness of filth you get on your hands, living in a city. It’s not so bad, for you, you invest in hand sanitizer and don’t touch your face. It’s the price you pay for living in a place with something like a subway, where things pulse and hum and never truly sleep, to be a microbe in the gut of this beast of a city, to be a tiny cog in the great machine.

You love it here. You didn’t think you would. Hell, you didn’t think you could. “It’s growing on me,” you told Copia one day, cool as you like, as if you weren’t giving anything away. “A little.”

“You have no talent for bullshit, babydoll,” he said, both dry and terribly fond.)

All of your awareness focused on the soft warmth of him enveloping your knee, the rough scrape of his calluses on the inside of your thigh– a new sensation, he’s taken the acoustic guitar back up recently. Not moving, just–holding. 

You kept your eyes forward, and your breathing even.

His thumb slid over your kneecap, absentmindedly tracing little circles. Your legs fell open a little wider, just so your thighs weren’t touching. You were terribly, achingly aware of the air on your cunt.

A soft stroke back and forth, a gesture that could have been reflexive, thoughtless– if it wasn’t for the beatific expression on his face, his eyes forward and too-innocent. It would have been more convincing if he hadn’t been inching his slow way upwards, featherlight touches, tracing up and back down, up and back down. Just a millimeter higher each time. An agonizingly slow drag, a glacial pace.

Your grip tightened on the armrest. 

Copia leaned forward, his breath in your ear. “Why, gattina,” he purred. “I do not think you are even paying attention to the play.”

“You are,” you managed, “a real sunnavbitch, you know it?”

He only chuckled low, and ran his touch to the top of your thigh. The side of his hand brushed up against your wet cunt and you both gasped.

“You little slut,” he hissed, with obvious pride. “So eager for me already.”

He dragged the very tip of one finger up between your lips, so slick it was almost frictionless, pulling away just before he could touch your clit. You took a ragged breath that was nearly a whine, bereft at the loss of his touch. You felt your cunt clench over nothing, an involuntary contraction. 

Copia hummed in mock-sympathy, and took mercy on you, cupping your whole cunt with his broad hand, steady and even pressure that was nowhere near enough, but at least took a little of the edge off. 

His middle finger slid naturally between your labia majora, and settled there, his fingertip crooked so he could just barely feel the inside of you.

The bastard stayed that way for the rest of the performance, sometimes giving you a gentle squeeze, sometimes pulling away to slide his fingertip back up to circle your clit. Just often enough to keep your attention focused where he wanted.

Evil, evil man.

Copia retracted his hand before the lights went up, giving you one final squeeze. He kept your eyes as he brought his hand up to his face, inhaled deeply, and surreptitiously licked his palm before fitting his hand back into his glove for the applause.

“Play weren’t that bad,” you said, weakly. “No call to do- alla that.”

“Oh? Didn’t you tell me you had a crush on the– which was it, the one with the dark hair– as a little girl? You want to wait around, go to the stage door, get an autograph?” All innocence, all the accommodating boyfriend.

“I revise my previous opinion. You are the Lebron James of being a sunnavabitch.” Despite your discomfort in heels, you couldn’t drag him to the train home fast enough.

So now, here you are. You shiver a little, in this hot and humid subway car, remembering. You bite your lip and can taste the wax of your lipstick.

Copia sees it, of course he does, how your eyes go just a little glazed. He smirks a terribly self-satisfied smirk. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Oh, this’d cost you at least a dollar. Maybe five nintey-nine.”

“Inflation is just outrageous these days. Highway robbery. I’m shocked.”

“Not yet, you aren’t.”

“You are talking a big game, babydoll. Be careful, I think, ehh-- your mouth is writing checks your ass can’t cash.” His hand heavy on your hip, almost indecent. His boot between your shoes, the sweet curve of his thigh displacing your skirt. He’s so close, so warm and solid. The train is packed, but he’s all you can see, all you can feel. His breath in your ear, pitched low. “Your pussy can’t cash.”

It’s all you can do to keep yourself from grinding on his thigh in the middle of the train. “Sweetness,” you croak out. “We’re in public.”

He leans back, conciliatory. Terribly smug. The world fades back in. You catch a teenager in a hoodie smirking at the two of you, a direct and uncomfortable gaze that feels more taboo in this city than even the way your hips keep shifting, restless. You feel almost drunk, stepping into the warmth of his body and his hard cock between your hip and your belly, a little vindictive, relishing his frustrated little grunt in your ear. 

“Two more stops, gattina,” he murmurs, as much for his benefit as yours. You see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “We can make it.”

“Mm-hmm,” you manage. 

He drags you roughly by your elbow off the train, in a way that has your fellow passengers actually making a faint murmur of disapproval at the way he growls. He might be leaving a bruise on your arm. Can’t be helped. You’re laughing up the stairs, your heels loud on the concrete and metal, giddy, just this side of hysterical. 

He’s clumsy with the keys when you get to your apartment building, following you up the stairs so he can look up your skirt. “Can’t believe– I watched you put those on.” 

“You just mad you didn’t get to watch me take ‘em off.”

He’s on your neck like a lamprey when you get to your door, and now it’s your turn to be clumsy while you paw through your purse, his hot wet mouth insistent, just under your ear, his teeth grazing your skin. His hands firm on your breasts, pushing the neckline of your dress down so he can fill his hands with them, gripping almost hard enough to hurt. He’s trapping you against the door, grinding into your ass while you fumble with the lock.

“What’re you– you tryna fuck me in the hallway?” you gasp. He’s reaching up your skirt now, his bare palm at the top of your stocking. When did he take his gloves off?

“I will,” he growls, “if you don’t hurry the fuck up.”

You somehow make it in the door without breaking the key off in the lock, and you give him just enough time to slide the bolt home before you’re shoving him onto the couch. You’re in his lap just as quick, your mouth on his, nearly biting him as he laughs into your mouth. Christ, you didn’t even get out of your heels. 

He’s warm under you, solid muscle under a sweet softness around the middle, and you can’t unbutton his shirt fast enough. His tongue in your mouth is making you clumsy, making it hard to keep track of how buttons work, shorting out basic motor functions. When you make it, you groan at his fur under your palms, and then he shoves his thigh between your legs and you whine when you grind your wet cunt against it. You have to break off from his mouth for it, clinging to his shoulders.

Your lipstick is all over Copia’s face. He’s grinning, rapt, delighted, impossibly fond. The man’s face is so pink it looks like he’s been slapped around. “Good, eh?” He pushes his thigh forward again, his hand up your dress and on your ass. “You like that?” He’s pulling you into it, making you drag your cunt over his tight jeans. The seam running down the front of his thigh hits your clit and you gasp. “So fucking desperate you need to hump my leg, filthy little thing.”

You roll against him once or twice more, because he’s right, it feels so good, those long runner’s thighs, the coiled power of him. That hard muscle and rough fabric against you, his body between your knees, so warm and familiar and beloved.

But his smirk is just a little too smug for your taste, so you have to make yourself stop before you fall too deep into a rhythm. Even if you actually hurt with being so turned on for so long. You get his shirt the rest of the way open, have to bend your head to suck a nipple into your mouth– the terrible brand over his heart level with your eyes– and bite. It’s not hard, but it does raise his back off the couch, and distract him from you eeling down between his legs to kneel on the floor.

“Oh, fuck,” he says, looking down at you, knowing (some of) what you have in mind.

Your hand is on his belt buckle, and the sheer Pavlovian reaction you have to the sound of undoing it with one hand forces you to press your cheek to his thigh and focus on your breathing for a moment.

You laugh, shaky. You left an actual wet spot on his jeans.

Copia’s hand is in your hair, fingernails running along your scalp, soothing, grounding you. “Baby?” he asks. “Babydoll, are you alright? We don’t have to–”

“No.” You catch your breath, look back up at him, and his mismatched eyes go from soft and sweet to almost afraid, when he sees your expression. The hunger there– you could eat him alive. “No, I was just– too turned on, for a second.”

“Oh.” He pets at you again, then his smile turns predatory as he sweeps your hair up in one hand and pulls tight. “Then why don’t you get to sucking my cock, puttana?” 

Just for that, you lean up and bite at his belly, the sweet furry softness just below his navel. You laugh with a mouthful of his flesh at his yelp, how it turns into a groan as you unzip his jeans and take him in hand. 

It isn’t as if you aren’t intimately (haha) familiar with his dick, but it’s always nice to see. You’d called it pretty, the first time you’d slept with him, and it really is an accurate description. (It had been emotional for a great many reasons, but that had touched him in ways he still couldn’t articulate.) Silky soft skin over the hard length of him, his head already shiny with precum. It’s the same color as his lips, under the paint.

“You see what you do to me, gattina?” he murmurs above you. “You wreck me. You’ve ruined me– or at least these pants.”

“It’ll come out in the wash,” you say, and take him into your mouth, slow suction, tasting salt. He fills your mouth, fills your hand, blood-warm and firm in your grip. You watch his eyes when you start to suck him down, loving, as you always do, how in that first moment he looks at you, whimpers at you, like you're breaking his heart. 

You hear the dry click of him swallowing as you pull the soft skin of his cock further towards your mouth, your grip twisting, the slow churn of it. How his veins give under your lips, under your hand. It doesn’t take long to get him slick, the thick ridge of the underside of him heavy on your tongue. The musk of him fills your whole senses, thick and animal and a little gross.

His hips shift, and before you have to pull yourself off of him to tell him to talk, he’s doing what you want. “Look at you,” he breathes, reverent. “You’re so good at this, fucking made for this,” a twitch upwards, a movement too small to be called a thrust, “aren’t you? Born for this, your god made you to suck my cock. My perfect– ohh– perfect little cocksucker. Want it so bad, don’t you?”

His hand is heavy on the back of your skull, pushing you down with that even, steady pressure just how he likes. How you both like. “Don’t worry. I’ll give it to you, give you what you want.” He’s not choking you with it, you have plenty of room to work with your hand. Still, as you take him down further, swallowing around the thick length of him, you feel hot tears running down your cheeks, sheer dumb animal reaction. You slip your other hand to cradle his slick balls, rolling them gently, the weight of them a little cooler than the rest of his body. He makes a strangled noise, an “Ohh fuck, baby, babydoll, so good for me, so good to me, fuck, fuck–!” 

His stutter and his loss of control are just too much, finally, you feel the air of the apartment cool at the top of your slick thighs, your swollen cunt, and you have to do something about it. You take your hand from his balls and slide it up your skirt, slowly enough to feel your silk stockings under your fingertips, slow enough that Copia catches it.

Just as you register how fucking wet you are, his eyes go wide and his hips shudder, the smooth hot head of his cock hitting the back of your throat. 

Your grip tightens on the base of his cock, a warning. You freeze, staring blank and unseeing at his soft belly, before looking up at him imploringly. “Okay,” he says, gentling you like a frightened horse. His big hand moving in your hair. “Okay. But baby,” he's nearly whining as you slowly suckle on the head of him, faint living salt in your mouth, “I know you want it, you’re too fucking good at that to not want it, I. Ohhh.” His hand grips tight in your hair as you swallow around him, thick and hot on your tongue. “Oh, fuck.”

You’re finding your pace on his cock again, a little faster, your hands working in time on his cock, on your clit. Freshly shaved like this, you’re fantastically, impossibly slippery. “Ohh, fuck. Oh, sweet Satan. Oh my dear Lord Below.” Copia absolutely doesn’t know what he’s saying, he so rarely gets outright religious on you. It’s an unspoken courtesy you’ve extended to each other, so to hear him break it sends a smug little charge through you. You whimper a little around his cock, give yourself a little more pressure on your clit. He can’t keep still, not all the way, even though you know he’s trying, making little aborted movements of his hips.

Copia swallows. It’s remarkable how you can see him trying to pull himself together. “Knew you loved this,” he says, his voice creaking. “Can’t be that good at something if you don’t love it. Didn’t know you loved it this much, gattina.” A little more pressure on the back of your skull, his nails scraping your scalp. He isn’t exactly holding you down, but he isn’t letting you pull off, either. “Never had my cock sucked this good, never even had a man suck my cock this good, thought I liked that better, before you came along. Had so many people suck this cock–” and that hurts, a hot bolt of pain and arousal that hits your heart and your clit at the same time. Your pace falters, and it must show, because Copia slows as well.

It’s a sore spot. You know that his own inverted form of celibacy in the Ministry included a certain implied… availability that could be, charitably, unpleasant for him at times. Clergy take no wives, no husbands, but give themselves freely to their congregation. You haven’t pushed him on the things that happened to him, he usually insists it was fine, expected, normal– but you generally have to go for a long walk and break something after you talk about it. You know, too, that he had positive experiences there, genuinely caring relationships. It doesn’t exactly help matters that your own knowledge of partnered sex, before Copia, falls radically short of the mean for someone in your age group.

All of that goes through your head in a flash, and he knows it, he can read you so well, even between one stroke of his cock and the next. “Only– didn’t know you’d have a natural talent at this.” Petting at you, soothing, his thumb moving tender on your cheekbone. “Remember, how I had to teach you how to kiss, those hours in the park.” You make a noise on him, not sure if this is helping. “Loved that, babydoll, loved doing that with you, teaching you, drove me wild.” He’s murmuring low to you, his voice a little rough, a little too exposed. “But I– I was ready for you to bite it off, the first time you went down.” 

Awkward thing, laughing with a mouth full of dick. But he keeps going. “I didn’t know, my baby. I didn’t know how it could feel. Didn’t know how good it could be.” He twitches in your mouth, in time with a tiny movement of his hips, so warm and alive in you. “Taught you how to kiss, but babylove, I swear I felt like a virgin when you took me to bed.” His voice is low and wrecked for different reasons than it was before, and oh no, his eyes are wet.

You let go of him, turn your head to wipe your mouth on your shoulder, quick and perfunctory. You can't take your eyes from him. "Sug," you say, unsure how to continue, the twisting in your chest too much for words, beyond anything you could articulate with language. Your knees creak a little as you start to get up, to do what you don't know. Kiss him or touch him or say something, anything, to the way he's looking at you. 

Copia pushes you back down, his hand heavy at the back of your neck. His thumb slots right at the base of your skull, right where he likes to keep it when he kisses you. “No, no, you’re too good at this, I wouldn’t interrupt an artist.” Back in some semblance of control. “You’re too good, you make me feel too good, show me. Will you--? Please, baby, will you show me how it can be good--?"

"Well," you say, pumping slow at his cock. "I can try." You press a tiny kiss to the head of him, too sweet for the situation, relishing the way he shivers. You take him in, how his hair is a disaster, sticking up in the back, his shirt open, your makeup smeared all over his face, his body, the parts of his thighs that you can reach. His pupils are blown wide, his eyes a little glazed, his lips swollen from the way you kissed them and the way he's bitten them. He's wrecked, and he's yours. 

You love him. With all your heart, all your mind, and, you're afraid, all your soul. It hurts to look at him, you think he might sear your eyes right out of your skull. 

You close your eyes against it, at how it stings, and nuzzle into the silky skin of his cock. Copia's belly is soft, warm, furred, delightfully sticky under your touch, as you run your hand up the front of him, up until you're cupping the sweet curve of his pectoral, until you can feel the cruel scar of his branding under the pads of your fingers. You trace over it, mapping the vector of those interlocking sixes. You feel his pulse under your palm, under your lips. You drag your mouth back and forth, just to feel the soft, delicately crenelated skin, the coolness of his flesh here soothing your feverishness. 

Copia makes a tiny wounded noise as his hand presses over yours. As if he could press his heart into your hand. He’s better at language than you’ve ever been, but you can see it falter and fail for him. All you know how to do is– action. It feels inadequate, somehow.

Your dear man. He sees you, and raises your hand to press a kiss to your knuckles in a courtly gesture. It should be absurd, with you on your knees for him, with the delicate skin of his cock against your mouth. Somehow, it isn’t, the alchemy of his tenderness conveying exactly what he means. What you mean, with the most vulnerable part of him between your teeth. “D’you want me to take you to bed, babydoll?”

“No,” you say, pulling off of him long enough to murmur it against his slick head. “Later, maybe. If you’re up to it. Right now, I want–” It’s easier to wrap your lips around him again, to tell him that way. You’re more eloquent with your mouth this way than you ever were with language.

“Alright,” he says, almost a gasp, as he returns your hand to you. “Touch yourself for me?” Almost pleading. As if your pleasure were a favor to bestow on him. “I want– wanna see you get off, my baby, wanna see how much you love doing this. So fucking hot–” His voice breaks off into a whine as you pull him further into your mouth. 

His big hand on your head, stroking your hair back, so sweetly. “Do you want me to be a little mean? I know you like that.” 

You moan around his cock in an unmistakable affirmative, rut a little harder into your hand, plead with your eyes. 

Copia’s smile turns sharp, wicked. “My perfect little cocksucker.” The deep affection in his voice belies the words. “Perfect little cumslut.” Your hand is already back between your legs, and you might– might– be moving your hips a little more theatrically than strictly necessary. 

He holds the back of your neck, the base of your skull, his grip tight. Just this side of painful. “You know how to tap out. How to get me to stop.” He pushes you down on him as he tilts his hips up to you, not quite cutting off your air. “But you’re not gonna do that, are you?” 

Copia licks his lips. He looks feverish, making shallow little thrusts into your mouth. “No, you. Ohh, you like this too much.” He’s so careful, even like this, testing just how hard he can thrust, finding your limit and pushing just past it before backing down. It makes you moan, makes you shiver, makes your hand speed up on your cunt in time with the way he’s pushing into your throat.

“Cruel to me,” he croons, as he uses your mouth. “Keeping that sweet little pussy from me.” He’s panting. “I can hear it, hear how wet you are.” As he says it, you realize you can, too, the wet noise in counterpoint to the sound of you working his cock. “M’gonna make you pay for it. Hope you’re ready, gonna eat you out till m’hard again.” He’s got both hands on your head now, and he’s too far into you for you to use your hand on him.

“You’ll. Hnn. You’ll need me to, to eat you out. Make you cum on my face.” If it weren’t for the sheer adoration in his eyes, this would be brutal, the way he’s pushing into your throat. The speed of your hand on your clit. Moving with him, point and counterpoint. “Fuck, I’m gonna wreck it, gonna split your pretty little cunt open– I’ll last longer, after I cum down your throat.” You whine around his cock, your cunt clenching on nothing, shivering against your hand.

Copia sounds like he’s in pain. It feels like he can’t stop himself, the way his hips are working. “Gattina,” he whines, helplessly. “Can’t– can’t last much longer, you looking at me like that.” You can feel him trembling under your touch. “D’you. You want it?” Movements a little more shallow, holding himself in check. “You want this cum in your mouth?” A rough, jagged thrust. “Little slut–!” he hisses, and he’s not quite too far gone to grin in smug delight at the way you moan in reaction. 

“Gonna cum like this?” he croons, taunting. His white eye bores into you, too bright, and he looks crazed. Deranged. It’s almost frightening, the way you can’t look away from it. Your eyes burn, hot tears on your cheeks, and you couldn’t stop rubbing your cunt if you tried. The way he’s watching you, the way he sees just how turned on you are by him using you like this. Like it’s shameful. “From me fucking your slut mouth like a little cocksleeve.” His voice is creaking, nearly out of control. “You want this cum? You want it? Hmm?”

You’re hanging on by a thread, your nerves strung out like piano wire, helpless before him. Your jaw hurts, his hand so tight in your hair. “Then take it.” He’s beckoning you over the edge, chanting, rapt. “Take it, take my cum, take my fucking cum–” he rasps, knowing exactly what will set you off, will snap the bright line of you.

You see his smile as you break, whining around his cock. How he lights up at it, overjoyed, crooked and tender. You hold his eyes the whole time, giving him as much of it as you can, letting him see all of it, the shining abyssal affection that crashes through your body for him, catching your nerve endings like fire through tinfoil. 

“Ohh–! Precious,” he says, almost crying, “my precious girl, my baby, my–” his voice breaks on your name, the syllables like a song, like a prayer, like something more than holy, like the shahada, like the shema, like it's the last thing that he knows. You never knew your name until he held it in his mouth like this, at the uttermost end of himself. He’s flooding over your tongue, slick and bitter. Like the first jet from the fountain in school, sun-warmed metal, iron from the earth, living water. 

His cock jumps in your mouth, and you’re shaking, trembling through your aftershocks and his as you swallow all of him, pull all of him into you, watching his eyes and his blissed out expression until his voice does– something wrecked. “You–!” he gasps, delighted. “C’mere, come up here, you’re too– too far away–” he’s pulling at you, babbling, delirious, so soft now. 

Copia’s pulling you up, into his arms, his lap, too quick for you to wipe his cum and your spit from your mouth. “Dunno if I like it, you that far away, wanna feel your pretty little body when you cum, you–” And then he’s kissing on you, shivering, laughing, little pecks along your jawline till he reaches your mouth. He makes a deep, appreciative groan when he tastes himself on your lips. He pulls back to look at you, almost scandalized in delight. 

You have to laugh at him. For once you can’t be bothered to be self-conscious about it. “Oh, I do like that,” he murmurs, almost to himself, before he dives back in, like he has to get all of it. You’re still shaky, a fine shiver all down your spine. He’s almost clumsy, licking into your mouth, a real rarity for him. You try not to feel too smug about it.

You can’t stop smiling, when you finally get your mouth back. “Acceptable, then?”

“So good. Every time, I can’t believe–” he’s nuzzling at you, his nose against yours, totally uninhibited in his affection. “So perfect, so sweet, love you so much, thank you, thank you, baby–” Nonsense babble. Incoherently effusive. He scoops your legs across his lap and runs his hands over all of your skin that he can reach. “Perfetta…sei perfetta. Angioletto,” he murmurs, and you shiver. You haven’t heard that one in a while. “Angioletto mio,” he’s saying, into your hair, your skin, and it’s rare that you blow him all the way back to Italian. “Sei tutto ciò che voglio del Paradiso.” You’re a little too fucked-out to parse that all the way, but it still snags in your heart a little.

(He knows, usually, how you still aren’t used to being loved on this much. You know he restrains himself, tries not to overwhelm you. It breaks your heart, sometimes, when you see him hold himself back, even as his consideration makes you warm.) 

Now, though, it’s good. It’s perfect. His pants are half off, his dick out, ridiculous. You think you might have snapped a garter, and you definitely put ladders in these stockings. You couldn’t give less of a shit. You loop your arms around his shoulders and bury your face in his neck, letting out a deep, contented sigh.

Copia’s still petting you– appropriate enough. You feel like a cat in a sunbeam, even supremely disheveled like this.

He squeezes you lightly, again, and makes a little noise in the back of his throat. “The, enh– the talking. It wasn’t too much?” Like he’s shy, all of a sudden.

“Noo!” You have to pull back to look up at him. “No, holy shit, sweetness, it was inspired. Even for you! Hot damn, baby. ‘Cocksleeve,’ where did that come from?” 

“Ehh– a couple of times, there, I’m, ah. Not even sure I remember what I was saying.” Is he blushing? It’s adorable.

“No, it was great. I’d tell you if it weren’t, honeybunch.” You lean your head back against him, boneless and warm all the way through. “Naw, this was awesome. Ten outta ten, go Team Us.” You hold up your hand for a high-five, and your sweet man, he’ll never leave you hanging– the slap rings loud through your living room. 

He tilts his head back onto the couch, looking up at the Devil’s Ivy crawling over your bookshelves. “Although,” he says, slow, considering. “I do seem to recall that I promised you I was gonna make you cum on my face.”

“And split my pussy open,” you remind him. “Or was you writing checks your dick can’t cash?”

“Babydoll, don’t you know by now?” He’s turning back to look at you, his mismatched eyes full of predatory adulation. “The Devil always keeps his promises.”

[etherfabric]

Which part of you wants to be felt? + Affirmations

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You have free will. I merely provide my perspective in these readings. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does.

Pile 1

Death, Wheel of Fortune

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The part of you that wants to be felt is your optimism. This feels to you like putting a boulder on a butterfly - dooming it from the beginning. You lost all trust in your right and ability to imagine good scenarios. Anytime one creeps up to you, you swat it away like an insect carrying a disease. True, you had to face some dark truths about the world and yourself - but don't forget why you started this process: You wanted to be happy and healthy again.

This means recalibrating your focus on what is good and fun. Things that make you glad to be alive. Even if you will fear losing them all over again. But if the past taught you one thing, it should be your ability to stand up and rebuild, right? You and your skills are the secret ingredient. You can afford risks. You are abundant in your ability to find the next good thing. Looking back at all you lost, doesn't it make sense? Didn't it make room for all this, that is so much more you? Whatever loss you will have to face in the future will just be the predecessor of an even further upgrade. Don't wait for guarantees. Seize what you have now, and trust in divine timings. You will get your fill. But you have to give access to your cup first.

Your affirmation is:

I am aware that being happy means I am on the right path.

Pile 2

5 of Wands rx, The Fool rx

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The part of you that wants to be felt is your willingness towards repair after conflict. I know there have been countless occassions where you were the "stupid" one to extend a peaceful hand first, only for it to be slapped away, or used to pull you down even further. No one deserves that, you included. While we can't expect a foolproof (eheh, because of the Fool, get it? ...sorry) guarantee to always have the right timing with our peace offers, it's still worth a try. I feel this resentment towards yourself for being even able to do that. "Not this idiot again getting us hurt even further after a fight." But this idiot is exactly the one who will bring you closer to those who actually just had a bad day when they hurt you. Who truly wished things would have been different. And are probably desperate to reconnect, but just don't know where to even begin. You do. Dare to risk it again.

It might bring up old pain that feels unbearable, but remind yourself (if you can) that you are much more powerful than in the past, where those low blows were truly devastating. They will never feel nice, but if you let them be a reason to never get close to someone again, you run the risk of being lonelier than you'd realistically have to be. The malicious intent you feel might be a remnant from unprocessed hurt, instead of a reliable source of purely present information. Let the dust settle and reassess the situation. If in the calm, this still feels like war, and you worked through your shadow to see clearer, then by all means, please leave. But don't destroy something good because it touched a sore spot.

Your affirmation is:

My capability to show my true feelings is always a step towards love and life.

Pile 3

The Star, 2 of Swords rx

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The part of you that wants to be felt is your faith, to be more precise, your confidence in being worthy of having faith. You are still on the fence with a lot of big and small things regarding it. You feel like you just started consciously allowing yourself to even entertain that dimension of existence, that there might be more than the eye can see, that science and logic don't paint the whole picture. Even reading that sentence felt kind of... wrong, right? That's actually super normal. This image of sudden enlightenment, never waivering in one's beliefs and always flowing on a cloud of omniscience and serenity is a product sold to us. To keep us discouraged from our inner strength and voice, and assign our own power to supposedly better people than us. "I am having doubts, I feel kinda silly doing this sometimes, I forget a lot of the practices, I do it haphazardly, I don't cleanse/pray/meditate/worship/offer/affirm enough, or do it the wrong way..." And then we feel guilty when we turn towards our faith in times of desperation and hopelessness, despite our "lousy performance".

Pardon my french, but cut that shit out. You are worthy. You are a spiritual being, point blank, whether you are in a ceremonial robe humming psalms or sitting on your toilet watching TikTok. Performance doesn't determine relevance. Performance or lack thereof will never be able to erase the deep truth you already tapped into. You discovered your spiritual side, but not in lieu to your physical, logical self - no one wants you to abandon or replace anything. It's an addition for the spaces 3D can't fill. The times you turn towards it are exactly the times you should. Give yourself grace and patience to let this gigantic new dimension unfold in its own time for you. It's a lot, and that's the beauty of it. Now, with this, there will always be something new to learn and explore!

Your affirmation is:

There is no way to get my life wrong. My connection to source is eternal.

Pile 4

5 of Pentacles rx, Temperance

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The part of you that wants to be felt is your relief. When I tap into your energy, it matches the archetype of a man on his porch with a shotgun in his lap. He is already falling asleep in his rocking chair, because there is no actual danger present that would cut the lulling sound of crickets, but then this thing inside his head goes off and he jolts awake to point the weapon at the dark. There hasn't been an intruder or dangerous animal in years, but he is so afraid of it happening again, that he ruins his own divinely orchestrated time for recuperation.

Yes, the horrors of the past were real, but you can wait forever to feel relaxed now that it's over, if you don't loosen your grip on your defenses (which are, quite frankly, premature offenses a lot of the times). It will feel terribly vulnerable and like the dumbest thing you could ever do, but your body needs your help. It. Is. Tired. Being scared is hard work. I know I am being the opposite of original here with my suggestions, and I invite you to moan your annoyance clearly, and roll your eyes at me with vigor when I say: Deep breath in, hold it for as long as you can, and exhale slowly. Repeat until you feel different. It might take a while, depending from how high of an adrenaline level you have to climb down, but golly, you need it. Don't be surprised if a pocket of fear comes up to be felt, the up and down is the way it goes towards equilibrium. Just keep breathing, dear. Your body knows the rest.

Your affirmation is:

I have the power to create peace within myself.

[transmutationisms]

Genuine question here, how can we increase patient autonomy and handle psychiatric medication for people who are disabled to a point where communication and understanding medication schedules would be difficult? I think a lot of people in my circles have gotten to a point of understanding, yes, anti-psychs can be more detrimental to patients with no positives when talking about a person with psychosis in their 20s who is somewhat able to manage themselves, but have difficulty parsing what would be best in the case of an older person with a neurodigenerative disease, and as someone who is at risk for developing Alzheimer's, I'm not sure what patient autonomy would look like for myself at that stage of life.

alright so, the question of how to increase patient autonomy for those who are mentally incapacitated in various ways is a legitimate one -- this has been a problem in paediatric and geriatric medicine for reasons both social and biological, and also affects disabled/injured/sick people of any age.

the assumption you've attached, though, is that 'antipsychotics' (neuroleptics) are actually in a patient's best interest, and that therefore it might be justified to administer them without consent in cases where it cannot be obtained. this is just incorrect and tells me you didn't read any of the links in my other posts about neuroleptics. these are not drugs that 'cure' 'psychosis' -- they are drugs that used to be marketed as 'chemical lobotomies' for a reason! they are unsafe in the long and short term, and are administered because they make patients compliant (incapacitated, numbed out, chemically dependent). the question of consent is just moot here imo.

to touch on the general question: usually with patients who are unable to consent, what is supposed to happen involves a mix of designated legal representatives, loved ones who are present, professional patient advocates, and the patient's own advance directives. my opinion (& this is common among disability advocates) is that doctors are often overeager to decide patients cannot consent, and will talk over/about them rather than taking the time to try communicating with them in ways they can understand. a person's own legal representation or the hospital's patient advocates sometimes help bridge this gap, but many times these people are also nakedly ableist, and fundamentally it's ableism that is exacerbating this tension.

obviously there will also always be some cases where it's simply impossible to get consent from the patient themself (for example, my uncle had a pituitary tumour that made him suddenly and irreversibly experience a total break from reality, resolved only after his wife consented to surgery on his behalf) -- in those cases, yeah, medicine sometimes means intervening without a direct yes from the patient. but the reality is that many people who are currently considered unable to communicate, choose, or advocate for themselves are in fact capable of a trying to do those things -- they're simply not being granted that right in current social/economic conditions. this often includes people dealing with neurodegenerative conditions btw -- these are incredibly difficult conditions, i won't pretend otherwise, but it is a myth that they completely and instantly rob a person of all ability to formulate preferences about medical treatment or quality of life, or to express those preferences.

[fallingdownhell]

https://at.tumblr.com/fallingdownhell/sumeru-men-when-your-sisterbest-friend-tries-to/nwf4h3unm1ah

Could I request this ⬆️ but with Ayato, Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Zhongli? Also, reader actually steps up and nearly goes apeshit with the "friend".

No angst, please!

Alright, alright, I heard you loud and clear. I'm trying my best for readers part, but I can't promise anything.

Also, this escalated quite a bit... hope none of you mind the length of this thing. I just don't know how to keep things short and simple

Characters included: Ayato, Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Zhongli

Content: Gender neutral reader; she/her pronouns for your best friend; she tries to convince them to dump reader; some cursing; slightly suggestive on Ayato's part; not proof read yet!

Word count: 7.9k words

As always, thank you for requesting and hope you enjoy!

Ayato

I feel like Ayato is a man who would get into a relationship for one of two reasons

Number one would be it being a political type of thing, where the relationship and potential marriage would greatly benefit the Yashiro commission

Or he would not even consider the commission and just date you purely because he fell instantly in love with you and really just wants to court you

but regardless of what the reason might be, he would be loyal to you under any circumstances

he knows that there are many people out there who want to be on his good side, some of them even after his wealth and status

and yet, he would fight off anyone who would dare court him while being in a relationship with you

in that aspect, he learned a great deal from Thoma, so you better be grateful to him

It was a typical slow, mentally draining day for Ayato as the Yashiro commissioner yet again. Many people come to him with their problems, expecting him to magically have the solutions for them at the ready. It's not like he is some kind of know-it-all magician, capable of solving every little issue in this world. Yet people obviously believe him to be exactly that.

Honestly, it's exhausting most of the time. It was quite common for him to work late into the night, like it happened today again. When he finally leaned back a bit to stretch his sore back, he heard a soft knock on his office door. Knowing who would await him at the other side, he mumbled a soft "come in".

You slid the door open, revealing the form of your boyfriend to you. Instantly noticing his tired expression, you went to his side, gently holding his face in your hands.

"You have been working too much", you say after a long while of each of you staring into the others eyes.

You hear a low chuckle from him as he closes his eyes, and leans more into your touch. Having yearned for it the entire day and now finally being able to enjoy it again was one of the best feelings in the world to Ayato.

"You're right, my dear. As you are so often. How about we retreat for today?"

You were inclined to accept his offer, but just as you were about to do so, you remembered one other crucial detail.

"We can, after you eat something. You haven't done that today, have you?"

And as if to betray him, his stomach made a low rumbling sound just as Ayato was about to tell you a little white lie, that it wasn't so bad. Instead, he looked away from you as you giggled at the perfect timing.

"See? Now, you clean up here while I go and get you some light snack. Let's meet in our room, okay?"

He agrees and you gave him a quick kiss to the tip of his nose as a parting gift, before you made your way out of the room, silently, as to not disturb the other servants and residents from their slumber.

Ayato looks after you and as you're out the door, begins to make quick work of his tasks. It's not much to do anyways. Just pack away his writing utensils, stack and organize a few stray documents that he will worry about the next day.

While in the middle of doing this, he heard a soft knock on the door again. Ayato wonderd to himself why you would need to knock when you agreed to meet back at your room. And also, you two should be the only ones awake at this hour anyways.

Still, he answeres the knock with a simple "Yes?". Instead of an answer, the door to his office slid open again, but this time revealing a different figure to him.

He recognized her, a servant of the Yashiro Commission and also a dear friend to you. Though, he did wonder why she was awake at this hour as well.

"Do you need something?", he asked her as she just stood there, not saying a word.

"I... saw that the light was still on and just wanted to check on you, Lord Kamisato. It's getting quite late. Are you alright?"

"I see. I appreciate your concern, but I am quite alright. I'll be retiring for the night shortly."

After he said that, her eyes seemed to light up, but she quickly tried to hide it.

"O-oh, is that so?", she quielty mumbled as she took a few steps into the room, towards Ayato. He eyed her suspiciously, but refrained from saying or doing anything. She stopped in her tracks when she was standing only a few inches away from him.

"Do you want me to keep you company for the night?", she whispered, trying to sound seductive while she put one of her hands on Ayato's chest and looked up at him through her lashes.

In response to that, Ayato quickly snatched her wrist, holding her in a tight grip. Although, she seemed to interpret that gesture the wrong way, as a smile krept up her lips.

"Oh? That eager, Lord Kamisato?"

"You do know that I have a spouse, right?", he said firmly, still holding her wrist tightly.

"Oh please. As if someone as boring as (name) could ever please a man like you. You can admit it, you know. I can see that they are not enough for you. You can have so much more fun with me.", she purred at him, now putting her other hand on his chest.

It made Ayato want to throw up. Every fiber of his body was repulsed by this woman, her words and her actions. He just wanted to deal with this situation as quickly as possible, to get away from her and return to the comfort of your arms. He didn't care if he came across as rude, he did not care for her feelings. After all, she did just insult you in front of him, and he would not stand for that.

So, Ayato finally let go of her hand and took a step back to gain some distance between them. However, that didn't seem to appease her, as she was quick to follow him, that wicked smile still present on her lips. In that case, he had to resort to words as his weapon of choice against this woman.

"Stop this nonsense right now. I have no idea where you got the impression that I am the slightest bit interested in you, but that assumption is just wrong. Plus, I am not the type of man to just go behind my partners back like that."

"Aww, come on. Don't be such a killjoy. Plus, they don't have to know. I won't say anything if you don't~"

"Well, I already know. How about that?", you suddenly chime in, both Ayato and the woman jumping a bit at the sudden sound of your voice behind them. You were leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of you and a dark expression on your face, directed at the person you thought to be a friend of yours.

"I was wondering what took you so long, dear. If I had known you were trying to fend off some filthy pest, I would have come to your rescue sooner.", you continued as neither of them said anything at your entrance. Your words and expression briefly becoming warmer as they were directed towards your lover, but quickly turning dark again when you turned back to the woman in front of you.

You waited a few more seconds, waiting for her to come up with some kind of excuse or something, but nothing came. So, you sighed, pushing yourself off the doorframe and slowly approaching the two of them.

"Glad that I finally got to see your true character. I always thought something was off about you, but still, I never would have taken you for one of those people." Your tone was low and dark, as you came to a halt in front of her.

"Now, you better screw off before I loose the last bit of my temper. And you better never approach any of us again, you hear me, bitch?"

You spat the last few words at her and she quickly ran out of the room, leaving you and Ayato behind. You looked after her for a few more seconds, before a deep sigh finally left your lungs and you turned around to your boyfriend, who was looking at you with a smirk on his lips.

"What?"

"Oh nothing... But, I have to admit, you're cute when you're jealous, (name)."

"Pffft, please. Me? Jealous? Of her? When I'm the one already dating you and having you all to myself?", you laughed, slowly beginning to relax again.

And Ayato still smirked as he began to lean down towards you. "True, I do belong to you. But maybe, it's time you lay claim on me again for everyone else to see as well.", he mumbled before he pulled you into a passionate kiss, a promise for the night in front of you..

Kaeya

Kaeya is a flirt, you and everyone else is very much aware of that fact

though when in a relationship, he would tone down that side of his personality. It's not completely gone, but compared to before it's like you're looking at an entirely different person

but you don't dislike this teasing and flirty side of him. It's part of his charm after all. So long as it's always directed at you and no one else..

Most people would believe Kaeya is more the type to play around than to actually bind himself to another. They also don't believe him to be a loyal person

Well, those people couldn't be farther from the truth. Because of his past, Kaeya is afraid of letting people close to him again. So if you were to manage to do just that and gain his trust.. you best believe that he will never let you go again, no matter what might be thrown his way

The music that was playing in the background of the tavern was as loud as usual. Kaeya was used to it at this point, the comfort of the Angel's Share being as trusted of a companion as the sword by his side.

It was a routine by now that he would swing by the tavern after his duties as a knight had been dealt with for the day. Usually, he would sit at the counter with either Venti or Rosaria to keep him company, sometimes even both at the same time. Those instances were always sure to escalate, so he was kinda glad it didn't happen too often.

Today however, neither of his usual companions were available, so he was doomed to sit at the counter all by himself. But that was quite alright, since he didn't plan on drinking that much anyways. After all, he was merely here to pass time waiting on you to finish your work, so he could take you on the date he promised to take you on today after you both were free.

But since he was done much sooner than you were, he had some time to kill, and the tavern was the first thing that came to his mind. So, he went to your place of work, to let you know that he would meet you there once you were done.

As Kaeya downed his second drink of the evening, he pointed for Charles, the barkeeper, to get him another one, while listening to the music some bard was playing. He was standing next to the entrance and Kaeya had to admit, that his music was rather good. It was a cheery, easygoing melody that went well with the laughter all across the tavern.

It seemed to be one of the bussier nights for the staff of the Angel's Share, seeing as the tavern was packed full of people, some of them already quite intoxicated even though it was still a fairly early evening.

Still, the loud atmosphere was relaxing to Kaeya and he only stopped looking around himself when his next drink was handed to him. Thanking Charles with a nod, Kaeya grabbed the mug and downed a few more sips, when he suddenly got a well-known feeling..

The feeling of being watched.

He tried scanning around the interior of the tavern again without looking conspicuous, but couldn't detect anyone who seemed to be watchful of him.

When the feeling subsided again, Kaeya also began to relax again. He hadn't realized how on edge he became just from that, so he let out a deep exhale. It did make him feel a bit better, but only for a few seconds, before he felt a presence now occupying the free stool next to him.

He turned his head towards that person, cautious of he he might find, when he recognized the figure to be your best friend.

Now, normally, any other person would relax upon seeing a familiar face, but not Kaeya. Not in this situation.

He always had a suspicion, that she was into him. She never made any advances towards him, but that could have been because you were always there with him. Kaeya had never been alone with her until now. And with the way she was eyeing him up and down while smirking at him, he was inclined to think that his suspicion was, indeed, correct.

"Well, would you look at that. What's the cavalry captain of the knights doing here, in this tavern, all by himself?", she began to speak. It was easy for Kaeya to detect the slight slur in her voice, indicating that she already had quite a few drinks already.

Still, he decided to play nice with her and entertain the both of them for the time being. Maybe some company wouldn't be so bad and he did still harber some hope that his assumption could be wrong after all.

"Enjoying a drink, obviously. What else would one be doing at a tavern?", he answered, the usual polite smile returning to his face. To everyone else, it might come across as sincere, but you now know that there was a difference. For a real, sincere smile coming from Kaeya was quite a rarity. But, the woman across him didn't know that, so she happily induldged in the conversation.

"Obviously, I know that. But, why all alone? I never see you without a certain someone accompanying you." Her words carried a distinct amount of poison in them when mentioning you. It didn't sit right with Kaeya at all.

"Oh, I'm actually waiting on them to finish their work. I promised them a date so that't where I'm taking them."

At the mention, her smile dropped and the look on her face changed to an annoyed one. "Seriously? God, Kaeya! When are you finally gonna dump her?!", she snapped at him, standing up from her stool so she could stand in front of him, mere inches away from him.

"Excuse me?", was all Kaeya was able to say, trying to lean back as much as possible to create space between them, but she didn't care for that. Instead, she got even closer, dangerously so, and Kaeya was beyond uncomfortable with the situation.

"You heard me. I wanted you since I first laid my eyes on you, but you never acknowledged me. And as soon as (name) comes along, you're all over them and completely ignore me!

I hate them so much! When are you finally gonna realize that I would be so much better for you? Just dump their lazy ass, they're never gonna be something big anyway. Come to my side, Kaeya!" As she said all that, she simultaneously began to claw on his clothes. Kaeya tried to push her away, but it seems that people were right when they said that drunk people seem to gain some kind of unexplainable strength.

"Are you out of your mind? NO! Now get off of me!", he yelled instead, still trying to get himself free. But she ignored it, instead reaching behind his neck and pushing his head down, trying to force a kiss onto him.

"AHH!", she yelled not even a second later, both in surprise and pain as her head got pulled back by her hair suddenly. She managed to pull herself free and both her and Kaeya were surprised to see you standing there, now putting yourself between the woman and your boyfriend. A furious look on your face, you seemed like you were about to loose your temper.

"He already said no, you bitch. You're really going so far as to assault someone because you don't get it your way? That's a new low, even for you." Your voice was ice cold and Kaeya shivered a bit from it, but he also had to admit that he did like this protective side of you. It was something he didn't get to see very often.

"I was just trying to safe him from your pityful grasp. He deserves someone better!"

"You mean, someone better like you? Come on, don't make me laugh. Who in their right mind would want a dirty street rat like you?", you lauged at her as she looked at you with shock. "Now fuck off before I completely loose myself."

That last sentence from you came out completely serious and cold, both her and Kaeya knew that you would not hesitate another second to fight her off if you had to. With one last, longing look at the man behind you, she grabbed her stuff and ran out the tavern door, leaving the two of you behind.

You let out a loud sigh as she was finally gone, turning around to Kaeya. "Are you okay?", you asked him, worry now written all over your face.

He smirked a bit, slipping out of his stool so he now stood in front of you, leaning down so he could put a hand to your cheek. "I am.", he whispered, leaning down to plant a soft kiss to your forehead. "Thanks for fending her off. That was really sexy."

You rolled your eyes at that, but didn't say anything against it. Instead, you pulled Kaeya in for a soft, sweet kiss. Both of you smiled before you finally made your way out of the tavern and to where Kaeya promised to take you.

Diluc

Oh boy.. I really love Diluc, but let's be honest here.. he has a lot of issues, that would directly pass over to the relationship, if he ever were to enter one

abandonment issues, trust issues, self worth.. Diluc has a lot of struggles

he makes sure to let you know beforehand, so you can back out of it if it's too much for you to handle. He won't go into any details, but he gets his point across

Now, if you decide to stay with him and help him work through all this, he would be head over heels in love with you. For someone to know everything about him, including his bad sides, and still deciding to stay with him?

He honestly never thought this would happen to him. Which is why he's all the more glad that you stayed and proved him wrong

It was the late afternoon and Diluc was still in the process of getting himself ready and presentable.

Today was the day of your one year anniversary and he had promised to take you on a cute little stargazing picnic. He had been looking forward to this day the entire week, trying to finish as much of his work as early as possible, so that nothing would come in the way today.

He checked his outfit over one more time in the mirror, looking for any holes or other form of dirt, but couldn't find anything. Then, he moved on to his hair, trying to tie it into a high ponytail. He knew that you loved it when he wore his hair like that, and he didn't mind it either way, so why not.

After all, Diluc wanted to spoil you today. Although technically this day is for the both of you, he just couldn't help but want to make it all about you. Because, after all, you were the one who chose to stay with him. To love him and show him that it was okay for him to love you as well.

It took some time, and he is still nowhere near a perfect partner for you, but he is trying. And you always tell him that him trying is more than enough for you and that you couldn't and would never ask anything more than that from him.

Diluc was so glad that you stumbled your way into his life. It may sound cliché, but he truly has no idea where he would be in life if you weren't there by his side to help guide him in the right direction.

Dare he even say, it was also thanks to you and your effort, that he is now slowly starting to reconcile with Kaeya. Their relationship was still rocky after years and years of miscommunication and suppressed feelings, but it was slowly starting to pick up and move into a... better direction, for lack of a better word.

He had so much to thank you for, and he swore to pay you back for it every day of his life that he got to spend with you. You would forever be the best thing to happen in his life, and he didn't care how down bad that sounded.

As he was finally done with preparations, and giving himself one last glance through the mirror, a soft knock on the door brought him out of his head and back into reality. Confusion written over his face even more, as Adelinde opened the door and walked a few steps into the room.

"My apologies, Master Diluc, but it would seem that you have a visitor. I informed her of the bad timing and to come back another time, but she insisted. I directed her towards your study room, she is waiting for you in there.", she informed him, her head lightly bowed down.

"Thank you, Adelinde. I will deal with them shortly.", Diluc answered, though obviously annoyed at the situation.

Why today? And why now?

All he wanted was for you and him to spend a nice evening together. And now someone wasn't even going to allow him that? Not if he had a say in it. He would just go in there and deal with the visitor swiftly, then make his way to Mondstadt, where he promised to pick you up.

Once he made sure that he was presentable so he wouldn't have to return to his room again, he went out and closed the door behind him. He walked quickly, having a goal already in his mind, so he wanted this situation to be over as soon as possible.

He gave to quick knocks to the door of his study room, to inform the person inside of his arrival, before opening the door and stepping inside.

Upon his entry, a woman who until now had been sitting in one of the comfortable armchairs stood up, facing his way. It took Diluc a moment, but he soon recognized the figure as a close friend of yours. He saw her from time to time, but he never had much to do with her, they never had an extended talk or conversation, so Diluc had no idea why she was here now and what she could want from him.

"You came..", she said, like she couldn't actually believe it.

"It would be quite rude of me to just leave a guest and not greet them, wouldn't it? So, please, state your business with me. And, not to sound rude, but please make it quick. I have somewhere important to be in a bit."

"That's why I'm here..", she mumbled quietly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!", she exclaimed, a little startled. Trying to mask her nervousness with a chuckle, she began to play with her hair while looking everywhere else but at the man standing in front of her.

A good minute passed without her saying anything else and Diluc was growing more and more annoyed with her. Was she just here to waste his time?

"Look, if you have nothing to discuss with me, then-!"

"No! I- I mean, I do have something to discuss. I just.. don't know where to start..", she got quiet near the end again, making it hard for Diluc to understand her, but he did.

"If this will require more time, I have to ask you to move it to another day. I really don't have the time right now.", Diluc simply replied, already kind of mad at her that he wasted more time here than he had to. He turned around and was about to leave, when the woman behind him spoke up again.

"I like you!", she yelled, which caused Diluc to halt in his steps and turn to look at her, a bewildered look on his face.

"What did you say?"

"I like you, Diluc. I have for a long time. But I never had the courage to tell you and then (name) got in the picture. Honestly, I hated them the moment you and them got together.

They took you from me! It should be me by your side, not them! I deserve you so much more than some pesky lowlife like them!", she still yelled, but was now slowly moving towards Diluc.

The man, still surprised by what was happening right now, didn't move away, and she apparently took that as a sign to continue on her little rant.

"I know you think that you love them, but trust me, you don't. You may feel like that now, but I am the one meant for you. I can make you so much happier than you could ever think. Just give me a chance, Diluc.", she pleaded as she arrived in front of him.

She extended an arm, about to lay her hand on his shoulder, when he suddenly caught her wrist mid air. His grip was tight, and the look he threw at her full of disgust. She flinched a bit as she saw that, but still tried to stand her ground.

"Listen closely", Diluc said, his tone hard and cold, as he looked into her eyes, unforgiving. "(Name) will forever be the only one for me. No one else could ever hope to come close to what they mean to me. Especially not you. The fact that you came here, to berate and talk bad about someone who thinks of you as their friend, trying to steal their lover away. And for what? Some silly illusion you created in your head?

My top priority will always be (name). No one will ever come inbetween me and them, no matter what you might say or come up with."

He quickly let go of her wrist now, like her skin was suddenly made out of some kind of acid and it burned him on the touch. The look of disgust still evident on Diluc's face, as he took a step back towards the door.

"Now, please excuse me but I have a date to go on with my lovely parnter. And just to be perfectly clear, I would advise you to stay away from them and me from now on. And if I were to catch wind of you putting out rumors about them, I will not hesitate to act against you."

With that being his parting words, Diluc left the study room and made his way down to the main hall, where Adelinde was waiting down by the stairs.

"Please escort our guest out of the mansion as soon as possible. And make sure to let the other staff know that she is not welcome back here anymore.", Diluc informed Adelinde, who bowed her head in understanding.

"As you wish, Master Diluc. I wish you a pleasant night.", she said, before making her way up the stairs.

After that, Diluc left the mansion and made his way back to the city of Mondstadt. He appreciated the walk, as he was able to clear his head a bit before he would see you again, which was just what he needed after that encounter.

Once he arrived and saw you waiting for him by the fountain, all the negative emotions within him washed away again, his heart feeling at peace.

He greeted you with a soft kiss, which you reciprocated. He took you with him to Windrise, where the two of you would have your picnic. On the way there, he told you all about what had happened just about a few hours prior to your reunion.

It was fair to say that you considered the friendship with her to be over and you thanked Diluc over and over again for defending you, while also apologizing to him that he had to deal with that in the first place. But not to worry, because you made it more than up with the cuddles he got from you afterwards.

Childe

Childe is a family person through and through

Like, they have the final say wether his relationship whit you would last or not. Not in the sense of approval, more like if you get along with his parents and siblings

If they like you and you also get along with them well, he would be over the moon

also has a pretty high rank thanks to his position as a fatui harbinger, so people know not to mess with either of you, unless they want to be punished

Childe, I think, is actually one of the most loyal Genshin boys

He would stop at absolutely nothing to ensure your safety and to make you feel loved. The only way he would allow this relationship to end, is if either one of you would be to fall out of love with the other. But, at least for his part, that probably won't ever happen

Since his return to Snezshnaya a few days ago, Childe has been stuck in his office at the fatui headquarters. It was required of him to finalize his reports on his latest missions, which meant for him to sit in his office the entire day, write paper after paper, then return home in the evening, only to resume the process the next day.

It has been tiring for him. He never would have thought that dealing with paperwork could be this tiring. No wonder the higher ranking harbingers all have some kind of sectretary who do that work for them.

In fact, Childe has been so tired out from writing these reports, that he didn't get any proper training in these days. Instead, he always returned right back home to your side, almost always falling on top of you on the couch. If it weren't for you keeping him somewhat coherent, he would instantly pass out on the couch, not to be woken up until the next morning. You gently kept him awake long enough for him to take a shower and eat dinner with you, before you both went to bed together, where Childe hugged you even closer to him.

It has become some kind of new routine at this point and although you didn't mind it all that much, you clearly saw how exhausted your boyfriend was from all this. Even more so since he wasn't able to pursue his usual stress relief with the training.

You could clearly see how tired he still was, sitting next to you eating his breakfast, his eyes looking almost blank and lifeless. It made your heart ache at the sight.

"So.. do you know how much longer it'll take until you've finished all the reports?", you cautiously asked, not wanting to stress him out even more in the early morning hours.

"At least a few more days..", Childe quietly answered, the weariness clearly evident.

You thought about what you could do to make him feel a little better, at least, when an idea sparked in your head.

"Well, I can't really help you with your work, but, if you want to, I could bring you lunch today. Your mom taught me how to make your favourite."

At that, his eyes visibly brightened up as he looked at you. "Really? When did that happen?"

"While you were out on your mission in Liyue. I had some time on my hand and I thought it would be a nice surprise but I didn't get around to making it yet.", you answered, glad that such a simple thing was able to cheer your boyfriend right back up.

He got up and engulfed you in a big hug, placing little kisses all over your face. "Thank you, (name). I love you so much."

You giggled as you guys spend the rest of your morning together before it was time for Childe to leave again.

...

His mood this day was by far better than the days before, and his underlings had no idea wether that was a good thing or if their impending doom was approaching them.

But as more hours went by and nothing drastic had happened yet, they decided that it had to be something good.

Childe was constantly humming in his office, the writing part was getting much easier now that he got a hang of it. The occaissonal troop came into his office every now and then, awaiting for new orders from him.

He dealt with them every time before resuming his reports until one particular group came to him. He knew one of the members better than the others, namely because it just so happened that she was a friend of yours, who joined the ranks of the fatui a few weeks ago.

She got assigned under Childe, but they haven't really been working together yet, as shortly after he was sent out to his mission on Liyue, which took him a few weeks to finally complete. And since then, he had been locked up here.

Anyway, back to the present. The leader of that small group gave a quick report to Childe, informing him of their accomplishments. The harbinger only nodded, listening to them.

"Alright, sounds good. For now, I want you guys to go to the training grounds. Improve on your strenghts and get rid of your weaknesses. This will be your task for the following week. After that time, you will face me in battle again, to assess your progress.

That would be all.", he said to dismiss them. They all hurriedly made their way out of the room, except for one member of the group. The woman stood still in front of Childe, and it took him a moment to realize that she was still standing there.

"Hmm? Was there something else you needed?"

"Well.. I have a bit of a personal question, if you would allow it, Lord Harbinger.", she answered respectfully, bowing her head at him a bit.

Childe thought it over for a second, but didn't think anything bad of her request, so he allowed her to ask her question.

"Thank you. It's about (name)", she said and the mention of your name both set him on edge and also brought a small smile to his face. You just had that effect on him every time, even after months of dating already.

"What is it that you see in them? Why are you with them? I just don't understand it."

"What about it don't you understand?", Childe asked, bewildered as he sensed the obvious hostility she seemed to harbour when talking about you.

"I mean, they're just so boring and bland. I don't get what you see in them. Surely they can't be enough to satisfy you. You could have anyone else, you have so many better options. Why them?"

After her little rant was over, Childe stood up from his place behind his desk, walked around in front of it, and leaned against the table, crossing his arms in front of him.

"And let me guess.. you think you would be better suited for me than them, am I right?"

She nodded as she took a step forward, towards him, but one ice cold glare from Childe let her freeze in place. But she got her composure back quickly, returning his gaze.

"I do.", she stated, holding her chin up high, trying to look more confident than she currently felt.

Childe continued to look at her a few more seconds, before averting his eyes and sighing in disappointment.

"I think I've heard enough. Just so you know, you could never be enough for me. (Name) is more than enough, they are the perfect match for me. And I'm most definitely not about to give up on that for some random chick that decides to throw herself at me.

Anything you want to add, (name)?"

The last sentence was said a bit louder by Childe, knowing that you had been standing outside the door and listening in on the conversation. Upon mentioning you, you entered the room and by the surprised look on the womans face, she didn't realize that you were actually present.

"Not really, I think you already made yourself perfectly clear.", you said, your look at her as cold as Childe's was.

"We're over. Can't believe I ever was friends with someone like you.", was the only thing you felt like adding to the situation, before the woman ran out of the room without another word, feeling utterly humiliated.

You and Childe both looked after her, before looking at each other. Then you guys burst out into laughter at how ridiculous this entire situation was.

After you had calmed down again, you guys shared the food that you made for him in his office, you sitting on his lap since he wouldn't allow you to sit anywhere else. It was safe to say that Childe acted a bit more clingy with you for the next few days.

Zhongli

It has been quite some time since Zhongli's last relationship and even though he has an understanding of the principles, the more intimate details of it are kind of lost on him

have some patience with him and teach him the ropes of it again and you will be rewarded with one of the most loving and caring partners one could ever wish for

he also tends to be a little bit on the jealous side, but he means no harm in it. He knows you're more than capable of standing up for yourself, but he can't help it. He is your partner after all, it's only natural he wants to protect you

Also a very loyal man. If he chooses a partner, he stays with them through all the good and bad times until the bitter end. Whatever form that end will take..

Zhongli let out a heavy sigh as he was finally done with his work for the day. Who knew that the work of a consultant could be this demanding?

Hu Tao had him staying late for the past two weeks, since, as she said, work had been piling up and she needed all the help she could get.

While you were understanding of the situation, not minding him coming home later to help out his boss, Zhongli did mind it very much.

Because now, work kept getting in the way of his quality time with you. While he was stuck here, he could be home with you, snuggling up on the couch, or out on a date with you.

Come to think of it, it had been quite some time since you two last went on one. Perhaps he should take you out to Wanwen Bookhouse again, with a nice dinner afterwards at Liuli Pavilion. That sounded like a good idea.

Still thinking about this, and possible other locations where he could take you to, he continued to tidy up his workplace, so that he could finally leave as soon as he was done with that.

Hu Tao had already left earlier today, claiming she would be gone for some type of commission and left him the keys to lock the place up after he was done for the day.

Once he was done cleaning up, he went outside and locked the door, putting the keys into his pocket to keep them safe. He would return them to Hu Tao again once his well deserved weekend would be over. Oh, how he longed to spend those blessed days enveloped in your arms, hoping you would never let go of him again.

Gazing up at the sky, he noticed that it was still quite early. He still did some overtime, but he did get off earlier today than the days prior. So, Zhongli decided on the spot to surprise you with some of your favourite food.

He went over to Wanmin Restaurant, which coincidentaly was also on the way to your shared house, to pick up something to eat for the both of you.

Upon approaching the vendor, Chef Mao immediatly recogniced the man.

"Ah, Mister Zhongli! Good evening! The usual?", he asked in a cheery tone, to which Zhongli agreed to.

While waiting for his food to be done, he took place on one of the stools outside the building, looking around the streets. It wasn't quite as busy as it was during the day, but there were still fairly many people out and about, doing their business.

"Hey! Zhongli!", a voice greeted behind him, so the man turned around to see a dear friend of yours approaching him and taking place next to him on an empty stool.

Zhongli gave her a gentle smile, not minding her presence at all. Maybe some company would be good for the time he had to keep waiting for the food to be done.

"Good evening. What brings you here on this fine day?", he asks her, trying to engage in some small talk with her.

"Oh, nothing much. I was just out for a walk when I saw you sitting here all alone.", she smiled, leaning a bit closer to him. Zhongli noticed this, but didn't think anything of it, which is also why he didn't say anything about it.

"Ah, yes. I am merely waiting for it to be done cooking, so that I can surprise (name) with it at home. I have been working late for the past two weeks so I hope she will accept this small piece of apology."

Upon mentioning your name, he noticed how her expression turned a bit sour, but it was gone so quickly the next second that he thought he just imagined it.

"Is that so..", she mused, seeming to be lost deep in thought.

After that, the conversation died out and a sort of uncomfortable silence fell between Zhongli and your friend. Not knowing what to best do in this kind of situation, he just remained silent, still patiently waiting.

A few more minutes passed and finally, Chef Mao came to Zhongli again, this time with two containers of food in his hands.

"Here you go. Sorry it took so long, busy day today."

"Not a problem.", Zhongli reassured him as he handed the man his money. He was about to say his goodbyes to your friend, when she suddenly grabbed him by the arm.

"Wait!", she said, suddenly having a form of urgency to her voice that made him halt.

"Yes? What is it?"

"I... I want you to break up with (name)!", she exclaimed, shocking Zhongli with her words. Why would he say such a thing.

The confusion obviously written all over his face, the woman sighed as she got even closer to him.

"I am in love with you, Zhongli. And I want to be with you. I don't care if I start out as just a side chick for you, so long as you break up with them and choose me in the long run.

Trust me, you'll see for yourself just how inferior (name) is to me in every aspect of life. Bet they aren't even any good in bed. I know you're not satisfied with them, so why not enjoy yourself with a little fun on the side?"

Zhongli couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew how much you trusted her, so for her to betray that trust you put in her so easily, it made his heart ache for you. But it also made him furious. How dare she talk about you like that in front of him? You were everything to him, and you were definitely more than enough.

Anger slowly krept its way up inside him, being more and more evident in the way his gaze turned cold and his hands tightly gripped the containers he was holding.

But before he could let his anger out on that woman, he heard an all too familiar voice call his name. "Zhongli!"

There you were standind, a few feet away from them and slowly walking over to your boyfriend.

"Hey (name)!", the woman cheerfully said, putting on a seemingly perfect act in front of you, being all nice and friendly again, like she wasn't just trying to steal Zhongli away from you.

"What a surprise to see you here. We were just talking about-!"

"About how you want to be the side piece of my boyfriend? Yeah, I heard that.", you said in a very matter-of-fact way, it caught her completely off guard.

"Huh?", was all she was able to get out, a look of bewilderment present on her face. You, however, have heard enough and you were done with her.

So, you only rolled your eyes at her, before lowering your voice, trying to sound as intimidating as you could. "Listen here, you bitch. He is taken. You had all the time and chances before I met him, and now, he is mine.

So back the fuck off before I go off on your fake ass face."

Panic now written all over her face, she took a few steps back. "You wouldn't.. You're crazy!"

"Oh, but I would.", you growled, taking a step forward, which finally caused her to turn around and run away from the two of you.

Relieved, you let out a sigh and turned around to your boyfriend, who had witnessed the entire scene.

"Sorry you had to deal with that.", you apologized sheepishly, gaze now turned to the ground.

"Don't apologize, my dear. After all, I should be the one apologizing to you, since you just lost a friend because of me. But, I do want to say, I hope you know that I would never choose someone else over you."

"I know that.", you nodded as you looked up at him, offering him a warm and loving smile. Ahh, how he had missed that smile the entire day. He just had to lean down and give you a soft kiss, which you very gladly reciprocated.

[arquinx]

I wanna talk about Kuras' scars cause this game has been on my mind a lot.

I thought at first that his scars might be from crucifixion seeing as he is an angel seeking repentance and it would fit the theme, but wouldn't the scars would be more circular? Even if it did cause a tear that far, the scar would likely penetrate to the other side of his hands and from what I can see the part that would be pierced through is still fully intact. Also, I'm not sure if it's on both hands. It's 100% on his left hand, but the only image I can find of his right palm doesn't look like it has the scar.

I thought maybe he caught a weapon mid attack or something, but then it raised even more questions. Kuras is an angel. He's able to practically glide through the dirty streets of Eridia completely spotless. He's mentioned as having unfathomable power and he reattached the MC's entire severed arm with only some stitches noticed. If the MC chooses the Alchemist backstory, they note that no magic was used in reattaching the arm either.

He might be capable of healing wounds without leaving scars so why didn't he do it for himself? Is his body just different? Also who managed to get a cut on Kuras anyways? Did they live to tell the tale lol? His choice in clothing and posing is very deliberate too like we are intended to see it. He could wear gloves especially with his profession as a doctor it would likely be advised, but instead his palm is turned outwards and open for us to see.

Also, unrelated but I think the MC waking up to Kuras and smelling sulfur is a nice touch for the fallen angel thing. You could assume that it might be medication because there are some that smell like sulfur.

[bomber-grl]

Nico Di Angelo fluff alphabet

₊˚⊹ Pairing(s): Nico Di Angelo x Reader (no pronouns/no specific godly parent)

₊˚⊹ Warning(s): cuss words, could be ooc, T*ktok/gen z humor/language

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

He adores everything about you

No,it isn’t some cringe ass thing I’m saying to say

I honestly do believe he likes everything about you

Sure he’s bias on what things

But he loves the way you laugh, smile and even those cringe ass jokes you make.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Honestly I definitely see nicos favorite part of your body being your hands.

He loves his hair being played with and he’s always moving your hand to his head or his head to your lap.

Your lap being his second favorite place because he can rest there whenever.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Nico definitely hates physical touch of any kind

I think we all know that, however you’re the exception.

So going on, he sleeps all over the place

But, he likes when you hold him. Poor boy had been traumatized enough so having his trust and comfort and enough for you to cuddle him is 💯

So it’s pretty comforting to be able to hold him and cuddle whenever.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

Honestly broski is glad ur even dating him

He’s an obvious introvert and prefers you and him alone somewhere like in your room or outside having a picnic.

Definitely prefers just the two of you but if you decide to go out he doesn’t say anything in the moment but suggests u don’t ever do that again later on.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

Def emotionally stiff and outwardly constipated

Inwardly his emotions are out of control

Ofc that changed eventually but still

He learns to be more expressive and it gets to the point where you’re the only one who understands what he’s feeling/thinking

F= Future (What are their plans for the future? Do they see themselves getting married, having kids?)

He doesn’t rlly have plans of a family or kids or anything

He’d only ever thought of surviving and recently, you

He doesn’t really need anything besides his friends and you, especially you

So don’t expect him to ever bring up kids or anything because u and Hazel are his family so 🤷‍♀️

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

He likes giving you stuff but not rlly

He likes pampering you and stuff but rlly he just shoved it in your hands and if u mention it, well just don’t.

Same vice versa except he down rlly know how to react so he’ll look like he’s trying to shit but can’t

Be gentle cuz broski might like ur gifts but can’t express it

It’s ok tho 👍

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Def not into pda

However, he will still hold your hand and partially because he wants to be close and protect you and cuz you’ve been arguing that he’s too cold and needs to warm up

Most likely to hold your hand while you two walk alone or if he holds your hand while he has it in his hoodie pocket

The second one happens mostly during winter

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Horribly

Yea he knows you’re strong and capable but he’s horribly protective

Anyone who hurts you will know his wrath and he’s not afraid to make sure it’s known

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Def becomes a bit of a jokester after you get past his cold demeanor

His humor is so broken and mostly consists of online bs

Definitely includes some dark humor too

I can def see him joking around w u or even playing pranks on each other.

It seems like he’s a completely different person when he’s joking around

Def scares the campers

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Mostly in short but sweet pecks on the lips or cheek

Mostly on the cheek

Doesn’t rlly kiss that often but he likes being kissed

Mostly around his face and stuff but it don’t matter

Kisses change depending on the mood too so sometimes it’s desperate and even a bit heated

Nothing ever rlly comes of it tho

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

He’s always showing you his love and care

Even the most obvious ways, in which he’s hugging you and wanting to be close

And even if it’s most dreadfully annoying, his love language is to scold or even tell u off for scaring the shit out of him when it comes to monsters and stuff.

So yes Nico Di Angelo loves you even tho at times it seems like he doesn’t,if you ever doubt he doesn’t love you he’ll be seriously hurt

M = Melt (What do you do that absolutely makes them melt?)

All the stupid shit you do

Especially for him

Like going out of your way to buy him a bouquet and accompany it with a cringe love letter.

Or even singing him a romance song to “proclaim” your love despite the fact you’ve been together for a good while now

He honestly finds it endearing so don’t ever stop

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

His worst nightmare is losing you

He lost basically everyone in his life and you’re one of the good things left of it

So when he wakes up from a bad nightmare he appreciates you being there and rubbing his back or just hugging him

O = Obvious (How obvious do they make it that they like you?)

Not obvious whatsoever

To you (if you’re really oblivious or the average person)

Let me elaborate

Nico is very obvious if you know the difference between his normal and unnormal behavior/ if you can read him.

Otherwise you don’t got a clue

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Cringe ass ugly ass nicknames

Based off your godly parent and powers and stuff

Def goes along when u call him pookie wookie or anything of the sort

Would be disgusted if u actually meant it

As if he wasn’t calling you his sugar booger just a sec ago

Hypocrite.

Q= Quiet (How are the calm, quiet moments with them?)

Incredible

It’s nice to just lay back and admire the stars or even each other in silence

No matter how cringe he insists it is, it’s still obvious how much he loves it especially when you get to see him smile.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

R= Romance (How romantic are they? What are their go to ways of being romantic?

Kinda see him as a romantic

But like doesn’t know how to be romantic

Yknow?

He definitely reads romance books, listens to romance songs but never saw himself being in a romantic relationship

So he’s rough around the edges but once y’all become comfortable he goes out of his way to show u affection

Kissing your cheek, laying on you, buying you food, etc.

S = safe (What makes them feel safe and comfortable around you?)

Cuz you’re u

You’re his boyfriend/partner and you’d have to be super close to even have this level of relationship

You guys can joke around without it being awkward or forced and that’s what he loves

He feels especially safe when he’s tucked warmly in your arms

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

It took awhile

He was pretty closed off and traumatized so it makes sense

But once y’all got closer you were inseparable so it was worth it

T= Tend ( How do they act when you’re hurt or sick, and vice versa?)

He’s not exactly a healer but he uses his scariness to give u the best treatment

He’s very cold to others during this time and on edge with anything involving you.

Very protective as well

If he’s ever sick or injured the he’d appreciate if you didn’t speak too much or loudly

Don’t coddle him, he hates it

Acting as if he doesn’t smile when u do)

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

He’s pretty much like

“Cowabummer” if it’s sum not that major

Like he’ll sympathize but move on

If it’s major he def gives u space and doesn’t say sum bs like “I understand u” or whatever

He listens and asks if u want some feedback, if not then he ain’t saying anything

Eventually gives unsolicited feed cuz he always gotta give offhand comments)

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He’s proud of you and your guy’s relationship

He won’t exactly show it off per say but he won’t hesitate to be proud of you

He doesn’t rlly show u off but mostly just says stuff like “yea (your name) can do that but like 100x better”

But what he really thought was “(your name) would beat that guy in a sec”

Rlly admires you

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Fighting is kinda sorta and essential to survive as a demigod soooo…

But when it comes to fights he’s obviously protective

Just not too much where it’s annoying

Only if u got hurt or weren’t able to protect yourself

He def fights for you and besides you

If anyone insults him, ok he’s mad

But if anyone insults you, he’s fucking pissed

U better do the same broski)

W = Wash ( What’s it like taking a bath with them, or helping them wash up after a fight?)

Nicos pretty quiet and doesn’t talk after a fight

He’s exhausted and he’s too tired to, he might try to reject your help but with much perseverance you pushed through and finally was able to clean and wash him up

You bandaged him up and fed him some nectar

He was pretty obedient, not putting up a fight for the most part.

Quiet too

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

He can read you pretty well

Atleast what you’re thinking overall

Sometimes he overthinks and begins wondering what if…?

Can understand you a decent amount

X = XO ( How do they show you affection? How much PDA are they willing to show?)

Pretty affectionate when he wants to be

Mostly when he’s sleepy and off guard

He’s warmed up to you so that includes occasional physical touch

Mostly with your hands, now he hardly fidgets with his skull ring, mostly fidgeting with your hands or something on you

These little displays of affection go unnoticed by others but not you

In terms of PDA, he hates it

Please don’t ever kiss him in front of anyone, especially Hazel

He doesn’t mind hand holding, and if you were in a life or death situation PDA is off his mind and he’d rather cry and hug and sob w u then not have you near him just cuz he’s unaffectionate in public.

Y = Yearn (What do they do when they miss you?)

Yes.

When he misses you he becomes grumpy and cranky to everyone

He’d probably lay in your bed for comfort or get one of your hoodies and put it on.

Falls asleep and hopes when he wakes up you’ll be there

Even if you’re not ,he hopes he’ll dream of you

Regrets it cuz then he misses you more even in his dreams)

Z=Zzz ( How do they act when they get sleepy? How is it sleeping in the same bed?)

He’s dizzy and a bit delirious

And you both end up cuddling after laughing and talking about random shit at 2 am

He’s kind of a crazy sleeper and has notoriously bad bed head

Cute, but rlly bad

Same when he’s sleepy

He’s so cute and most times he says what’s on his mind instead of filtering it out.

Makes you pay for it when he’s in a clearer state of mind 😔

———————————————————————————

A/N: added two prompts for a couple of letters just cuz I felt like it and don’t hesitate to let me know if there are any spelling mistakes! :)

[glassrowboat]

Imposter. Baizhu.

Summary: That time of your month was always dreadful, made you want to hide away and forget all about the outside world, but perhaps it wasn't so awful with someone there with you.

Word count: 800+

“Is this the part where you tell me you hate being a woman again?”

The bed dipped beside you, creaking with the effort to adjust and support Baizhu's weight on the mattress you were currently curled up on in a bundle of blankets and pillows. Nesting, he had called it, a hand over his mouth as Baizhu tried not to out right laugh at you when he knew it would only result in a pillow being flung at both his and Changsheng’s faces for only one of those two is capable of properly dodging your fury.

“I don't say that.” You grumbled into your shirt. Or, rather, his shirt you claimed as your own. In the end, the difference was all the same.

“You do. Every month, actually.” Changsheng remarked.

You didn't get a chance to tell the overgrown noodle to shut it before Baizhu was chastising her in your place with a “Now really isn't the time to argue with her.”

“Because she might have our heads?”

“Precisely.”

You rolled your eyes at the two's interaction. “I can hear you, you know.”

“Oh, I know, my petal.” His hand cupped your cheek, bringing your gaze up to meet his slitted eyes, staring back at you with a bathymsal nature you couldn't help but be curious about every morning he painted red eyeshadow to his lids in the grace of a fresh morning's light; an unasked question never failing to make your lips tingle. “But we can call it payback for having me run all the way to the store for you in the middle of working hours.”

Your nose scrunched when he tapped the tip of your nose before going to the bag he had dropped on the bed next to him when Baizhu sat down earlier, the rustling drawing your attention.

“You could have sent Qiqi.”

“I could have, yes,” Baizhu nodded, “but you can be rather peculiar about the things you need during this time. I doubt Qiqi would have been able to remember exactly what you needed even if I did write it down for her.”

“Picky.” Changsheng huffed, not bothering to soften her words like the man she's currently wrapped around had a habit of doing. Her scales shifted as she turned her head to look down at the box Baizhu pulled out. Tongue flicking.

“And I appreciated the walk. It's a fine day.”

You looked over at the closed blinds, the light from outside only barely peeking through to leave a glowing line of yellow on the floor. “Wouldn't know.”

“No, I imagine you wouldn't. Though, regular exercise helps with the cramps, my petal. I suggest that once you have had some time to let the medication I made you set in, you come downstairs, and we can drink some tea and share these.” Another item was pulled from the bag, one you didn't even notice until now as a package of fine tea, full moon cakes were held before you.

“You of all people encouraging me to eat something sweet? How ghastly.” You gasped, hand coming out from your nest of blankets to place it over your wide open mouth. “Clearly you're a Baizhu imposter.”

“Hush you.”

On his shoulders, Changsheng snickered, just like you were, at his half-hearted glare.

Taking his hand, you pulled it close, bringing it to your lips that had been bearing a grimace for most of the afternoon, only to now be sporting a smile at the sight of him before you. “Thank you, Baizhu imposter, you're the sweetest.”

He sighed, looking you up and down as your touch trailed over the black glove he wore, always hiding away skin he refused to let you see with claims it's not a pretty sight. As if anything about him wasn't pretty. “You are awful. Always teasing me.”

“Stop making it so easy, then.”

Behind his glasses, Baizhu rolled his eyes at your wink. “Kisses and flirting won't get you out of taking your medicine.”

Changsheng chimed in with a “You have to admire her willingness to try.”

“Oh, fuck you both.” You said, dropping his hand.

“Maybe later, my petal, but for now, I need you to rest.” A kiss fell to the top of your head, nose nudging itself into your hair, and the charm of his glasses, cold as it was, tickled your cheek. “Then we can have our treats later.”

Another squeak of the mattress sounded as he got up, moving to the door with Changsheng still stubbornly wrapped around his neck. Eventually she'd come wiggling back through that very same door to check on you for him, but for now her little head was bobbing with every step Baizhu took.

“Hey imposter.” You called, watching him turn his head, green hair swaying with the movement to look back at you. “I love you. And, thank you for your help.”

His lips quicked up, a fang barely poking out. “I love you too.”

[thr0wnawayy]

Who would the 10-13 1A members that died in the MLA be, if MHA had any actual stakes? I really liked your Kaminari idea, so I just wanted to explore it with you. It would have realistically made UA/the heroes look a hell of a lot worse and the villains look a hell of a lot smarter if they went for the angle of "the best heroics school in Japan is using child soldiers!"

I know for the heroes, it should have been Pixie Bob and Gran Torino in addition to Crust. Endeavor also should have died because it would have actually given the story actual stakes - Japan is now in shambles and the new #1 hero/heavy hitter is dead. Oh shit, what are they going to do?

Firstly I feel I should clarify that both 1A and B would lose some team members as both classes were thrust into war with basically no real training. Although for the sake of plot 1A would lose vastly more.

With that stated, let us begin.

I know for a fact that Koda is dead.

Truthfully, there is no way someone as bulky as him (with the addition of his poorly designed costume) would be even marginally capable of outrunning Shigaraki's Decay.

His quirk (Anivoice) gives him zero advantages and being in Jaku (a city under evacuation) would only add to this.

We also mustn't forget that the rubble by itself was also capable of disintegrating anything it touched. Putting all that together and given how close he was to "ground zero", his chances of survival are slim to none.

Additionally, everyone who found Midnight's corpse is either dead or brutally injured.

Midnight's body is isolated in a decently foliage heavy area, with plenty of hiding spots and vantage points making it all too easy to set an ambush.

Our merry band of MLA/PLF mercenaries simply have to bide their time, wait for the shock and horror to settle in and then strike.

Sero, Kirishima and Setsuna are easy targets (with Setsuna being the farthest from the bait) their backs are turned and mentally are either distant or "vacant".

If Momo didn't recover from her grief and get off the floor, it's game over.

However. She would likely manage to fend them off long enough to escape (thanks to her intelligence and dexterity), although not without some scars. (eyepatch momo, anyone?)

Mina might be able to hold them off due to her acid but will eventually falter because (as you mentioned) Aizawa's a shitheel.

That brings us up to 5 students so far (if we include Kaminari's death) that have died due to UA's (and the HPSC's) crippling negligence.

I'm a tad hesitant to add Tsu here but it's unlikely she'd survive. (even if she does survive the wave, she'd likely die in the crossfire)

Comicman, because yeah he's unimportant.

For the Villa Raid team it's important that we cut some heroes in order for this scenario to work.

Edgeshot is dead, likely fried to death by Electro-lite.

This would cause the raiding heroes to become discouraged and overwhelmed.

the MLA's gear is more than a match and combined with their years of fighting and tactical prowess. It's not even close.

Simply put; divide and conquer.

Mineta's dying for sure. His costume restricts his (torso and leg) movements and makes him standout like a traffic cone. That guy with holes all over his body is likely the one to snuff him out.

Ojiro is dead the moment the MLA members use numbers to overwhelm him, no amount of martial arts will save you from getting jumped.

Mines dies because his quirk (Twin Impact) suffers from the Flect Fallacy.(Overwhelming the quirk will break it). So pretty much any MLA member could be the one to kill him

That sets the score to 11 total student deaths (8 for 1A, 3 for 1B), not a good look.

We know the rest, Dabi kills Enji for good.

Skeptic publishes a video along with Dabi's exposé that reveals UA is using child soldiers and that the HPSC forged paperwork to allow this.

And the crowd goes wild!

The reactions would be brutal, national if not global criticism from every angle.

The entire raid and evacuation effort would be considered an immense failure, the villains remain at large to gather their numbers and most civilians would be left homeless and displaced.

The hero that everybody placed their bets on turned out be a child/wife beating eugenicist who bought (and later assaulted) his wife when she was only 17. Only to be killed off by the very child he left to burn.

The (global) outrage partially stems from the fact that if it weren't for Dabi, no one would have known otherwise .

The number 2 hero is an (attempted) murderer and seems almost irritated at Enji being outed, the world stage takes this the wrong way and opts not to aid Japan.* What pisses them off the most is his uncaring attitude.

Considering them a lost cause when Shigaraki not only breaks everyone out of Tartarus but also manges to kill AFO by sheer force of will (and wanting to see his friends live as they please)

Rei's speech/conference serves as the final nail. Going into immense detail of the pain she and her children suffered at the hands of Enji. (If their were any doubts Touya was her son, they were killed here)

When asked if anyone knew, she finishes her speech off with revealing that some heroes and staff knew about the abuse and chose to look the other way. Causing the room to burst into an uproar.

*(explaining why Japan was allowed to fester for as long as it did without intervention, something Hori failed to explain)

Parents begin pulling out their children in droves, not wanting to risk their kids getting drafted, others quit by choice.

Shiketsu and Ketsubutsu don't put their students on the front lines (they aren't stupid). The commission is unable to force them due to their, "unique" situation.

The heroes that quit are harshly criticized by the public and media (and usually fairly too), pointing out how shitty it looks (and is) for heroes to suddenly abandon them as soon as things get serious.

Class 1A is left to pickup the pieces with 8 classmates killed (+ Bakugo) the events of the last week have shocked them to their cores but perhaps there is hope.

Of course they're left to pick up their predecessors mistakes, again.

Midoriya would still go rouge, albiet he would stick to his principals. He's made a disturbing connection between Bakugo and Endeavor and it haunts him.

(I should add that Bakugo's death is portrayed for the selfish play it was)

Midoriya likely driven by the need to ensure that he doesn't lose anyone else. His anger at AM would probably stem from the fact that he is putting himself in danger for someone as "expendable" as himself.

I could see the two having a heart to heart that Midoriya is more than his quirk once he willingly returns.

Some additional information:

Bakugo dies permanently, because Edgeshot was killed by "Electro" earlier (even then I'm not doing the writing atrocity that is the "Jeart".)

For heroes I'd like to add Jeanist to the roster. Gigantomachia should have swatted him and his airship like a fly. This means the top 3 are dead, adding to the chaos. This also prevents the old-gen from taking up space.

The High-End Nomu beat the tar out of Miriko, leaving crippled at best and a paraplegic at worst. (That is assuming they don't kill her).

Fourth Kind is killed when, like Ojiro, he is overwhelmed.

Your absolutely correct, Gran Torino and Pixiebob are eliminated, joining Crust.

Twice actually lives, though I would keep that ambiguous until later, he wouldn't get out unscathed of course and would probably need to be put into a coma while his injuries heal.

Himiko's revenge plot now has additional stakes as she promises Twice that she will return to him. (before he's medically put under)

This also fuels the PLF + Spinner, vowing to do right by their ally and friend.

Dabi would have disfigured Hawks upon discovery of his attempt on Twice's life, no more cosmetic scars. Just good old fashioned brutality.

(The fear of losing Twice may have dug up the past memory of losing his mother after Enji drove her to the brink. As Dabi cares deeply for both [even if he won't admit it] ontop of the fact that it's a "hero" that's trying to take them and he betrayed them).

Overall this world is going to be one wild ride with a very different ending to what Hori gave us.

It is a story not of heroes and villains, but of ideals and goals. It asks the question:

What is it to save?

A few additional notes:

Momo would likely have a revenge arc as a sort of parallel between Izuku and Himiko. However it wouldn't be as bland as what we got in canon with Mina.

The mercenaries aren't mustache twirling supremacists, no. Here they're cold, calculated soldiers who are strictly tactical. Midnight was "nothing personal, just business" to them.

They serve as a dark mirror to Momo's shift in personality during the war, as Momo reverts to her initial cold confidant personality and kicks it up to 20 as she hunts them down.

Midnight's killer even points out midbattle on how Momo was sexualized and she doesn't even know it. Telling her at one point: "You may see them as an equal, they see you as a display"

The battle isnt treated as a victory either, while the Momo and her squadron win, the gravity of the situation isn't ignored and Momo actually listens to her opponent's critique.

[daffodilsonaprettystring]

So allow me to bullshit some more about the RWARB movie, specifically this scene:

Look at this scene. We can see the King, Phillip, and Bea all present, right? And then Alex and Henry seated beside each other on that couch thingy in the middle. So obviously if this is anything like the book, this scene is right after they’ve been outed by the emails, and they’re telling the king that they want to tell the world the truth here. But this shot and then the shots that follow:

Have me fixated on them because LOOK AT ALEX AND HENRY. In that first scene, you can see them seated beside each other, not touching or even really looking at each other, because they’ve just been through a very traumatic event and now they’re being forced to do something they weren’t ready for. Yeah it turns out okay but they’ve still gotta be feeling terrible here, right?

Ok, now remember in the book that in this scene, Catherine stands up for them and convinces the Queen that they deserve the chance to be themselves and be in love, right? But before that, we got the Queen berating Henry and Henry deciding to stand up for himself first. But from what we can see here, Catherine is nowhere in sight, unless that woman in the background is her and not Bea like I think. So here’s my thought process:

That first shot is the king and Philip berating Alex and Henry for what they’ve done. Being awful and all around homophobic for falling in love and then getting caught. And Henry, Henry is used to it. He doesn’t like it but he’s used to it. But Alex? He’s not!! So he’s sitting there feeling the worst he’s ever felt, being scolded by Henry’s family simply for falling in love, and THATS why we then see Henry reach over and take his hand in that last scene. That’s why we finally see Henry looking over at Alex, because he’s used to it and he’s used to taking all that bullshit from his family, but he KNOWS Alex isn’t and that’s why he’s finally like Yknkw what fuck y’all imma hold my boyfriends hand cuz he looks like he’s about to cry. Without Catherine there, the only one in the room really capable of standing up for him and Alex is Henry himself. Bea might, if she’s able, but I think the movie might give Henry this moment to really show he’s done being pushed around, and he’s sure as hell not gonna let his family push ALEX around.

There was no real point to this rant I’ve just been like hyper fixated on this specific scene for like three days so 😭

TLDR: I think the RWARB movie is gonna give Henry a badass moment where he decided to tell the king to fuck off and let him and Alex be in love because he’s not gonna let his family make him hide the love of his life❤️