#if you are a person who does not have shelter right now i am so deeply sorry you are going through this

[bloodyarson]

okay but a thing i think about every time we have one of those few day periods where the weather is not fit for even a dog being outside is how the hell are homeless people surviving this. like i said in a previous post it's currently -40 degrees with the windchill and i honestly cannot imagine how someone who does not have a place to go inside and spend the night is supposed to not freeze to death. it makes me upset every time the temperature drops like this, i cannot imagine how many homeless people will be frozen to death in the next 24 hours if they somehow haven't already. the fact that there are hundreds of empty houses sitting there empty with totally functional heating while people are DYING from the cold on a street corner makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY while at the same time my heart is breaking in pieces for them. rest in peace to every poor person who will not make it through the weekend. i am so sorry.

[livingsurreal]

Thoughts and theories in regards to my favorite senior necromancer

This man swept me of my feet so completely that I am still reeling. He is my new Solavellan and the amount of feels I have about him, its ungodly.

So I present to you my way to long essay about why Emmrich is the saddest and greatest man Bioware ever created, right next to Solas.

Please be aware of spoilers if you have not completed the game yet.

Also, shutout to @jaal-ama-daravv - you were looking for others peoples thoughts and theories. Also, thank you for all your posts and love for Emmrich.

My second meta post is here!

(Edit for typos)

Their whole romance starts with dear Rook trying to flirt with him. And Rook being Rook their flirts are… questionable. I image Rook always doing a facepalm “Oh god, what did I just say?” afterwards. They… are not really that good at flirting. Half the time he doesn’t even seem to get that Rook was flirty with him.

But, oh, he did get it. He just couldn’t really comprehend it. This pretty, young and exciting person, flirting with him?!? Rook can be anything up to their mid-40s according to canon. That is not that much younger than him. But to him, they do SEEM young. Despite them being somewhat younger than Emmrich, I do think though, in quite a few ways, they are more experienced and knowledgeable than him. Emmrich led a pretty sheltered life. His childhood seems to be a happy one, despite them being poor. The loss of his parents had a huge impact on his life. To a degree where it still impacts him in a major way, even now, a lifetime later. But outside of that, I don’t think there was much strife or adventure in his life.

He is a quiet man who loves his books, and his time and work in the necropolis. He rarely even left the Necropolis. He never saw much of the world outside of it. But he always wanted to. Always dreamed of some kind of adventure. I think this is one of the reasons he so readily agreed to help Rook. A chance for adventure (and to help the world).

So here he finds himself in the company of a vibrant adventurous Rook who has seen and experienced so much. I think no matter their age difference, they would seem younger, “fresh faced” and vibrant to him. They are so full of life compared to him, who has not done that much living in recent years. They are less stuck in their ways, are out in the world and not sequestered in a life of routine.

In some ways he seems to be older than he is. That man is in his 50s. That is NOT old. But he seems to have lacked the courage to take life by its horns and just ride it. He is cautious, a coward in many ways. But somehow this dear Rook seems to bring out a different side of him. An almost forgotten yearning for more.

So, Rook awkwardly flirts with him. Bumbles and stumbles over words to flatter him. And he is exhilarated, touched and most of all confused. Why would this beautiful, vibrant person be interested in HIM of all people. There are other people around who should be so much more interesting to them than him. And how could he not be interested in them himself? They are, in a way, what he wants to be. Adventurous. Full of life. Indomitable. No matter what life throws at them, they refuse to yield. They have a courage the lacks, or thinks he lacks.

But that man is so much braver than he thinks. The fact that he is so open with Rook about his thanatophobia, even with a Rook that is not romantically interested in him is so touching. He tells them his most inner fears and all he wishes for it in return is some respect and kindness.

So, after some light and awkward flirting he tells them. If they DO mean it, he is interested. Emmrich is a deeply romantic man. In the dept of his heart he does not want a short-term affair. He wants someone to spend his life with. He wants something real. He wants everything.  It’s what he always wanted, but never found and had completely given up upon.  So he opens up a bit more.

But around that time, he also realizes that he absolutely has to tell them about his plans for lichdom. He tells the Rook on the friendship path why he hopes for their help in regard of Johanna. He explains why it is so important to him to find and stop Johanna.

Same goes for Rook on the romance path. But here comes the other side of the coin. Lichdom puts a possible halt on their fledging romance. He cannot know if Rook would be willing to continue what they’ve barely started.

They may either continue under the understanding that they have just temporary affair. What he never wanted. He always wanted that eternal flame – but by the Maker he wants to be with them, even if it is just a short time. He is still all feely at this point and the whole scope of his emotions have not yet hit him.

Or even, can he dare to dream, beyond that point of no return and stay with him after he becomes a Lich.

But he must put it out there. He cannot go further into their romance pretending his plans do not exist. He thinks Rook has a right to know what they are getting in to, and he is correct (and much respected) for that.

At the end, Rook commits to being with him with the full knowledge that Lichdom will come, sooner or later. If they stay with him from that point on is still undecided, but for now they are his. And how can he say no to that. He certainly did not expect this. I believe he fully expected this to be their end. But his confession ended truly in a night of unexpected splendor.

So, we know he always wanted “enduring affection”, love and commitment. And he had his fair share of lovers, paramours and affairs. I would think that he is someone who, when he does fall in love, loves so deeply and completely that it often scared his lovers away.

Not necessarily in an unhealthy way, but he is, underneath all that poise and manners, a deeply romantic man with strong emotions. I don’t think that Rook is special b/c he loves them more than he could love someone else, but b/c they not only accept all his love, more so, they welcome and return it in equal measure. They accept him and want him, even with all the baggage he comes with.

I think he was burned quite a few times in the past. So, he is trying to hold back, “be normal about it”. It’s just hard when this person he loves so much looks at him like he is their moon and stars and flame eternal. It’s hard when he feels finally and completely seen. He told them about his deepest fears, his plans about lichdom, and they are still here, willing to be on his side all the way. And while they seem to act like teenagers being all over each other, all want and need and stolen kisses, I think what they feel goes way deeper from the start.

At the same time, I also think that is partly at fault for not being able to find a lasting relationship. He had people in his live who did not want to fully commit to him. But I also think, the he never truly committed to anyone. He did, surely, on a more surface level. But a part of him always stayed closed off. He never gave himself completely. His fears made sure of that. What happens with Rook, the wonderful, oh so romantic start of their relationship? Only to end in this uncomfortable limbo because he lacks “the guts to say how he feels”? I think that was not the first time a relationship ended sour this way for him.

Take the amount of his feelings, add to that his thanatophobia, and that poor man becomes more and more a complete mess. What starts out as exciting and new and OMG THEY LIKE ME, becomes soon a new target for his fears. All those feelings inside him warring with each other. He wants to pin them against a wall and declare his undying love and run and hide at the same time.

Then comes Manfreds sacrifice and his big decision. Will he restore Manfred? Will he give up his friend to achieve his dreams?

Since I went with Manfred, I will mainly describe my feelings regarding mortal Emmrich. Though I believe Lich Emmrich suffers from the same base fears, they just find a different target.

Tbh, what Lace says to him certainly would not have helped. Her words feed into his doubts and fears and give them credibility. See, even Lace says this might not be right. Rook is younger. They move too fast. He will die earlier. Rook will be devastated. A whirlwind of emotions and half formed thoughts fueled by fear.

All he ever sees and what is constantly on his mind is not the time they can spend together, but the end of their time together. His death, their death, it does not matter. One of them will be gone and the other will be left with the pain he felt after his parents died. A pain that might even be worse than what he felt back then.

Rook being younger just becomes the vehicle by which he tries to convince himself that this might not be such a good idea after all. But its all his fears speaking.

And fear can be so strong, so overwhelming.

When they had this fight, my read on his words was that he wanted to break up with Rook. His words at that moment are condescending, bordering on mean.  He is lashing out. We know he can be vindictive when he feels wronged, but he is nothing but kind and gentle to those he likes and who treat him with respect. I think, in a way, that it was not necessarily a conscious decision, but more of an instinct to hurt Rook. To make them angry and not love him anymore. To make it easier to end it, spare them the pain of breaking up now and of loosing him to death one day. By protecting himself from the pain of their death should he outlive them.

As if that would work and make any difference to Rook, or him. They are already so madly in love with each other.

And I think, what makes Rook different from his previous partners is that they realized, if they let him finish this sentence, he might break something beyond repair. Even if it was his fear speaking at that moment, not his love. Running away from his feelings is a recurring theme for him. And he does not WANT to break up with them. But his fear tells him its better this way. Fear is a liar, though.

So they speak a harsh truth. It’s his fear, insecurities and cowardice speaking. They do not let him get away with it. It is harsh, yes. But I think it was also necessary. It spells out a truth he did not want to admit to himself. He is afraid, insecure and a coward. And the big question, is that what he wants to be? They are, in sadly not the nicest way, telling him to get hid goddamn shit together. And sometimes that’s needed. Especially for an academic man like Emmrich. No Emmrich, that is not logical. It is pure emotion and fear is running your life, not you.

In a perfect world they would have told him so in a calm and collected manner. Less harsh words and more kindness. But would that have had the same impact on Emmrich? Rook is a person too, with their own fears and hopes and dreams. And Emmrich right now is breaking their heart. I think he needed that. To see the pain and hurt he inflicted on them.

Can you imagine the regret he would feel in the end? If he left Rook? It would leave him a broken shell of a man. His final defeat. Fear had won. Nothing would be better, and no one would have been spared any pain. I would just be a lifetime of regret and what ifs. The one person who accepted him fully, loved him so deeply, and HE threw everything away.

I think, the time Rook was trapped inside the fade prison might have been the best thing that could happen in the long run. It’s all his fears come to reality. Rook is gone. He lost them. And he just wants to curl up and hide. But he can’t. He needs to find them. If he lets fear win now, Rook might be lost forever. He cannot allow himself to be coward now. I think this time was a come-to-Jesus moment for him. It forced him to look at his fears and what they’ve cost him. It’s a moment where he needs to stop letting fear control his life.

The last real private moment they had was a fight, filled with fear and anger. (That short apology in the middle of a battlefield was hardly private and could in no way make up for the words that were said.)

That last evening should have been a time filled with love. A memory to cherish. But now it’s a memory one would want to forget. And that was his own doing. It was not something out of his control, like “death”. It was his words and actions that tainted their time together. And what if that was the last time they’d seen each other, been with each other? What if that is his last real memory of them? The look of anger and pain and hurt on Rooks face, caused by HIM, by what he had actively said and done? I think this might be the first time he realizes that his fears take more from him, than death ever could.

Phobias and anxieties are not cured that easily, of course. I think in a way, they will always stay with him, to a degree. But I do think he had some important realizations that will put him on a path of growing. At least in regards of how he deals with his fears.

And then he found them. He found his Rook. They are back and they are alive. He can hold them in his arms again and how could he ever even think about turning away from them? They are a gift, a miracle, the deepest wish fulfilled. A wish he’d given up upon. Something he thought he would never have.

And then the last scene with the coffin. Okay here I go the Astarion route and I am absolutely convinced that that coffin is his. Of course he had planned all things in regards to his death. He had chosen the crypt he wanted to be buried in. And at that moment he took them there. The place that had been the mark of the final end, now the mark of the rest of his life. And Rook? Rook still wants him, after everything. They still love him.

When they pull him into a kiss? He doesn’t see the end of their time, but the start of the rest of their life together. That look on his face when Rook leads him to that coffin? This look of absolute vulnerability? I think, in a way, this is a first time for him. All open and vulnerable. All he is and feels no longer hidden away but cherished and loved. He will always fear loosing them, them loosing him, how could he not. But they are here and HE is finally able to truly commit. He is finally giving everything. He will always fear, but now love wins. Rook holds his heart in their hands, and he trusts them completely. He gives himself to them. He is theirs, forever.

Hell, that man breaks my heart in so many ways.

So what’s in store for them in the future? Sadly we do not get epilogue sliders for our LIs.

But those two I truly think are in it for the long haul. There will be many good days, filled with happiness and laughter and kisses. They will go on adventures, see the world, experience life together in its fullest.

There will also be bad days, when fear rears its head, and his chest hurts from the sheer pain it inflicts on him. But I hope he comes to a point where he is able to turn to Rook in those times, instead of pushing them away. Where he lets them comfort him, hold him, until this feeling loses its grip on him.

Those bad days will never diminish those wonderful days they have together, though. Just a rain cloud, hiding the sun for a day or two. And it can’t rain forever.

Then, when one of them finally goes on to their last journey, they will wait for their love. And when they are united again, they walk eternity hand in hand.

[galedekarios]

thoughts on emmrich's vows & vengeance ep

i just wanted a place for me to gather my thoughts about emmrich's ep.

i have to say that i enjoyed it much more than the others, though i'm very likely biased. i absolutely have my problems with the overall writing as well as the way the podcasts treats the lore of the world, but i liked the insights it gave into emmrich, his personality and also his relationship with manfred.

so in no particular order:

1: emmrich's kindness

this is something that really, really stuck out to me this episode. emmrich is so incredibly kind.

from wanting to set the horses pulling the carriage free so they can have a chance in the storm, even if there is a possibility they might not come back and leave them stranded in the middle of nowhere:

ROLET: The storm’s getting heavy, Master Emmrich. We may not be able to go much further. What do you want me to do? EMMRICH: Hmm, perhaps we should pull the carriage off the road and hunker down inside until it passes. ROLET: What about the horses, sir? EMMRICH: Unhitch them. ROLET: Unhitch them? EMMRICH: Those animals are every bit a part of nature as this storm. Their instincts will guide them to safety. We just have to give them the freedom to take care of themselves. I trust they shall return when this tempestuous weather has passed.

he's immediately ready to help nadia despite knowing nothing about her, who she is or what she is saying is true, dismissing rolet's very reasonable fear of bandits:

NADIA: By the Lady, I am so happy to see you. We, we, we've been stuck here at least an hour. I didn't know what to do. They, they were too heavy to carry in this mud. Their pulse is falling and I- EMMRICH: There, there. Please put your mind at ease, my lady. What is your name? NADIA: Nadia, but… EMMRICH: A pleasure, Nadia. Emmrich Volkarin, at your service. Now come, we have some room in the carriage and you can shelter there until the storm passes.

he's not only incredibly polite to everyone in this episode, but he's also very gentle with rolet and helps him walk after he injured his ankle:

EMMRICH: Forgive me, but I must gently roll the ankle to examine its condition. (ROLET YELLING) EMMRICH: How does that feel? ROLET: Ah, not good! EMMRICH: I'm afraid it might be broken. I don't think you can walk. ROLET: I can limp. EMMRICH: Not by yourself, you won't. We shall help you. Now, here we go.

he's incredibly human here, not caring about standing, doesn't think himself above to do so because rolet is his coachman. he only wants to help. it's also very nice to see him being a healer, too.

DRAYDEN: That's it! That's where they went. EMMRICH: Well, then we go this way. Please take my arm for balance.

the same kindness and compassion that he shows the horses in the beginning, nadia and drayden, as well as rolet, is echoed in the way he treats the spirits/demons in this episode:

EMMRICH: Spirit, I am warning you to stop this right now. DEMON SPINELLA: Piss off, human slime. EMMRICH: I do not wish to hurt you or the body you inhabit, but I will not allow you to harm my companion. DEMON SPINELLA: Go back to your necropolis, death whisperer. EMMRICH: I'm sorry, but that body does not belong to you. EMMRICH: Spirit, you are not welcome here. And you are not welcome to that body. You shall leave now! EMMRICH: Please relinquish her body before someone gets hurt. DEMON SPINELLA: Oh, well, if I can't have her body,then no one will! EMMRICH: Easy now. Take that bottle away from your neck and put it down. DEMON SPINELLA: Or else what? EMMRICH: Please, I beg of you. DEMON SPINELLA: I want you to remember this moment clearly and painfully because this is on you! (FLESH SQUELCHING) (DEMON CHOKING AND GURGLING) EMMRICH: No, don't! EMMRICH: No!

he doesn't know who the woman possessed it yet he still tries to save her. he still tries to reason with the spirit.

and even though we can't see what is happening as for as the character's facial expressions are concerned and drayden rushes to reassure emmrich, that what happened is not his fault, that it's not on him, i think that it's very clear in his prolonged silence after that emmrich may see it as his failing and that it left him shaken.

all in all, it just really echoes what corinne busche and others who were lucky enough to play the preview of datv already said about emmrich: he's an extremely kind man.

what makes me worry though a bit is just how quick he is to trust and others at their word.

i talked about this with my friend @lairofsentinel too and we both feel that emmrich might not be as discerning about people's motivations and their possible deceptions - and the inherent danger in that - as he is when it comes to the dead, spirits and healing.

of course, taking v&v's writing with a grain of salt, but if it's reflective of how emmrich behaves in the game itself, it might be interesting to explore this "flaw" in emmrich's character.

emmrich seems very much too good for his own good.

he has spent more time among the dead, knows about their regrets and their emotions, and is renowned for his skill (see also tevinter nights). it might be that it came at the detriment - to some degree - when it comes to dealing with the living.

2: emmrich being very competent at what he does

it was also incredible to see emmrich at work:

NADIA: Drayden! EMMRICH: Stand back. EMMRICH: (echoing) May these words travel beyond the flesh, beyond the body, flowing down the silver thread to the spirit lost. Your home is calling, Drayden. Hear me! Your home is calling. NADIA: What are you doing? EMMRICH: I'm sending a message beyond the Veil to let Drayden know that it will soon be safe for them to return to their body.

-

EMMRICH: Now I need to finish preparations, but once the ritual begins, it shouldn't take long. However, with the poison's advancement, I will most likely need to perform an exsanguination. PASCAL: Hmm, blood magic, such messy business. EMMRICH: Ah, merely a cleansing. Nothing will be summoned, I give you my word.

-

EMMRICH: Spirit fire of midnight suns, through my spire of ill and ire, the wretched blood be blessed, not mired. EMMRICH: Manfred, stand back, I must direct the blood through the air without interruption. But,be ready. (MANFRED HISSES) EMMRICH: Let the cleansing grace lead you to thy spirit's place. Manfred, the blood has gathered. Quickly, please, spark the flames with the silver power. EMMRICH: Excellent work, friend! The blood is returning to the body. Drayden's spirit has heard the call. Come on, Drayden, I can feel your spirit's might. You are strong. You can do this, just fight. Fight for yourplace in this world. EMMRICH: That's it, you're almost home. Manfred, please smash the ampoule of Cetusbile. EMMRICH: Drayden, I commit you once more to the flesh. Now, find this body and purge it of its trespass. And wake up!

i also like that last bit especially because it's another callback to corinne busche saying that emmrich is all about positive affirmations, that he's very encouraging.

i remember the gameplay previews where he compliments rook during a fight - and he does the same here, encouraging drayden to find their own strength to return.

3: emmrich & manfred

i absolutely love the way these two interact. emmrich clearly is proud of him, he defends him, he speaks up for him. but he also knows he can rely on manfred.

my favourite moments were probably this moment after rolet and nadia startle at the sight of manfred:

NADIA: Why is there a walking skeleton exiting your carriage? EMMRICH: That, dear Nadia, is Manfred. NADIA: Manfred, your assistant? EMMRICH: Indeed, a gentle spirit, ball of curiosity, and a threat to no one.

it's just such a sweet way to describe manfred and you can tell there's genuine affection there.

i also thought it was cute that manfred doesn't like nicknames and that emmrich translates for manfred:

NADIA: Someone hand me that board. NADIA: Thanks, Bones. NADIA: Ah! What's your problem? EMMRICH: Oh, I'm afraid Manfred here is not very fond of nicknames. NADIA: Oh, sorry. (MANFRED GRUNTING) EMMRICH: He says apology accepted.

there also multiple instances of emmrich complimenting manfred on his work, just as he did in his short story:

EMMRICH: Manfred, did you salvage my kit? (MANFRED GRUNTING) EMMRICH: Excellent work.

and it's clear that manfred is a big part of how emmrich performs his duties. he's very much included at every turn and emmrich clearly relies on him and trusts manfred to do what he needs him to do.

4: other stuff

ROLET: But this place is creepy. EMMRICH: Well, I think it's quite charming. ROLET: All due respect, sir, but you would.

emmrich finding the obviously haunted castle vibes of their temporary shelter charming while everyone else has the creeps (and rightly so!) was so funny and in character.

in conclusion:

me waiting for 31st october:

[sweetbans29]

Pups - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: You and Caitlin just keep missing each other until she decides it's been long enough (based on THIS request)

Warnings: just fluff

Word Count: 2.8k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: I am switching the request up a little to make it fit a little better since it is set post-college for Caitlin and Kate, I hope it makes sense when you read it!

When you moved to Indiana for work, the first thing you did was head to the local animal shelter. It was your first time living alone and you hated the idea of being truly alone. You walked in expecting to come out with a sweet pup and ended up walking out with two, Pebbles and Bam Bam. When you learned they were surrendered together, there was no way you were going to separate them.

Bringing P&B home was nothing shy of eventful. The second they walked through the door, they were already making it their home. They are the reason your single ass upgraded from a queen bed to a king bed, ensuring the three of you would all have enough room to sleep comfortably together. Considering they were both medium sized dogs, you didn't really understand how you all didn't fit on your queen but your love for your two fur-babies was enough to make the switch.

Your two companions were the sweetest. They typically don't bark inside and are excellently trained.

Since you live in an apartment and work from home, you take them out often to make sure they stay active and so you don't go stir crazy. It works out well. You have found several local restaurants that love Pebbles and Bam Bam and have even met several people who frequent the same places as you. They have helped you build a little community in a place that is starting to feel like home.

It is late Tuesday morning when you take P&B out for their second walk of the day. As you set outside of your door you feel a immediate tug on Bam Bam's leash. You have just enough time to close your door before you are being guided in the wrong direction.

"Bams, chill out," you say as you gather yourself and adjust their leashes.

"Why hello there," a voice says. You look over to see a young man standing holding a trash bag. Bam Bam at his feet sniffing his shoes. Pebbles is much more reserved and looks at the man as if she doesn't quite know what to think.

"Hi," you say thinking the man was talking to you. You quickly realize that his full attention was on Bam Bam who is now running in circles greeting him. The man looks up and smiles lightly at you.

"Hi," he says, attention now on you. "I'm Colin, I believe I am your neighbor."

Colin looks to be a few years younger than you. Your first impression is that he is well-mannered and doesn't shy away from conversation.

"Hi Colin," you say and then introduce yourself. You extend your hand to shake his and you see P&B sitting politely as if they were waiting for you to introduce them.

"Your dogs are very well mannered," Colin says looking down at them.

"They are. I don't know how I was able to end up with them but it was almost as if they chose me when I walked into the shelter," you say with a little laugh. "This is Pebbles and Bam Bam."

"May I pet them?" Colin asks as he sets the trash bag he is carrying down and squats in front of P&B.

"Oh yes! Of course! They would love that," you say.

Colin puts his hand up to let the two dogs sniff it before he begins petting them. Bam Bam being the friendlier of the two has no problem with Colin right our the gate. Pebbles on the other hand, is still friendly but is more skeptical about the new person in front of her. She sniffs his hand but just stares at him.

"The one on your left is Bam Bam, he loves everyone and will be your best friend. Pebbles is on your right and she takes a little longer to warm up to people but once she does, she is a sweetheart and won't leave you alone," you say as Pebbles looks up at you.

"Are they Australian Sheppards?" Colin asks giving all his attention to Bam Bam who is eating it up.

"They are," you say. "I was surprised to see them in the shelter but they weren't there long. They were surrendered just a few days before I went in - sounded like their previous owner passed away."

Bam Bam now has Colin sitting on the ground while he sits right next to him, absorbing all the pets. Pebbles is still sitting at a distance but has laid down, now just observing Colin. You let them interact and watch at how much Bam Bam loves him.

"Bams is a fan of yours," you say. "Give Pebbles a few meetings then she will be just like Bam."

Pebbles stands and stretches as she hears her name, looking at you as if she is saying she is ready to walk.

"I sure hope so! They are already my favorite out of everyone I've met in the building," Colin says and you pretend to be offended. He laughs.

"I can't blame you, they are my favorite too," you say as you both head to the elevator. The two of you talk on the ride down and only part ways after Bam Bam says goodbye to his new friend.

You get back to work when you return from your walk. It is only Tuesday but your week has started off to be a good one.

Caitlin gets home and is exhausted from morning work-outs. When she enters the door she sees dog hair by the entrance and is curious as to where it came from. She just cleaned on Sunday.

"Colin!" Caitlin yells as she makes her way to the kitchen. "Why is there dog hair in the apartment?"

Colin emerges from his room with a smile on his face.

"It is probably Bam Bam's," he says as if Caitlin should know what that means. She gives him a questioning look.

"Bam Bam is the Australian Sheppard that lives next door. He has a sister, Pebbles but she hasn't quite warmed up to me yet. She will be in no time though." Colin says.

"Pebbles? Bam Bam? What are the Flintstones living next door or something?" Caitlin asks.

"Ahhh! That's why the names sounded familiar. I remember when mom and dad would put that on before school," Colin says. "And no, their owner was not apart of the Flintstones."

Caitlin laughs.

"You would love Pebbles and Bam Bam," Colin says. "They are the sweetest. Their owner was also pretty cute too."

Caitlin raises her eyebrows at her younger brother. "A cute neighbor?"

"Ya, not my type but she is cute. Honestly seems more up your ally but we only talked for like 10 minutes," Colin says.

"I don't have a type," Caitlin says with a little scoff. Now it is Colin's turn to laugh.

"You so have a type," he says as he makes his way back to his room.

Caitlin stands at their kitchen island and thinks on if she has a type. She wouldn't say she does, she doesn't feel like she has dated enough to have a type. Colin is just instigating. Yeah, that's it - her brother is just trying to get in her head about the cute neighbor. Caitlin tells herself that before heading into her room.

The next time you run into Colin is on your way back into the building. It is a few weeks after your first encounter with him and Bam Bam goes crazy.

"Bams!" You yell as your pup takes off sprinting to Colin. Both you and Pebbles follow closely behind.

"Bam Bam1" Collin says with the same excitement Bam is greeting him with. Colin immediately sets down his bag and pets Bam.

"I've missed you buddy," Colin says as Bam wiggles his butt in excitement. Pebbles also goes up to Colin, sniffing his knee then looks up at him. Colin takes notices and holds one hand to meet Pebble. She sniffs him as her behind starts to wiggle a little in excitement. Colin begins to slowly pet Pebbles and she lets him for a little before making her way to sit right next to your foot.

"Well that is nice progress," you say with a little laugh. Bam still going crazy over seeing his best friend.

"Hey, I will take what I can get with her," Colin says.

The two of you talk on your way back into the building. He talks about how he is only here until his school starts up again and you talk about what you do for work.

"Is your apartment empty when you aren't here?" You ask as the elevator reaches your floor.

"No, it is actually my sister's apartment. She is here full time, I am only here when I am on break," Colin explains.

"Ahhh, I see. Well don't tell Bam Bam that, he is going to be really sad when you head back to school," you say.

"Just one more semester and then I will be here full time!" Colin says with an innocent excitement. "So he doesn't need to be without me for long!"

You laugh.

You end up inviting him on a Saturday hike with the pups which he immediately accepts. He mentions how that is something his sister loves to do but has work the Saturday that's planned. You mention having her join next time and he agrees.

The two of you build a friendship and you find yourself really enjoying Colin's company. Almost as much as Bam Bam does but you don't think anyone could match the excitement Bams has when he sees people he loves.

Pebbles, like you said, warmed up to Colin. She still greets him with hesitation but lets him pet her and love on her.

Colin tells Caitlin all about you and your pups. Little to your knowledge you are a hot topic in the Clark household. Every time Caitlin gets back from practice, Colin is quick to talk about your most recent outing. He starts off by talking about something cute that Pebbles and Bam Bam did then always goes into how cool you are as a person. It has Caitlin's desire to meet you grow into something she thinks about everyday when she passes your door. She will sometimes slow down in front of your door to see if she can hear you talking to your pups. That is when she realizes that she might actually be jealous of the time that Colin is spending with you. Hell, she hasn't even met you and is jealous. She blames Colin for saying that you are her type after first meeting you.

During Caitlin's next off day, she is determined to meet you. That isn't hard to do considering Colin has plans to go on a walk with you and the pups and she has every intention of crashing it. When Colin calls out that he is going for a walk, Caitlin immediately pops out of her room ready to join.

"I think I will join you today," she says already in athletic shorts and a t-shirt.

"Great!" Colin says. "Bam Bam will love you, he is the softy when it comes to meeting new people. Pebbles will be skeptical at first but just give her some time and she will warm up to you."

Caitlin nods and follows him out the door. Colin walks up to your door and give it a special knock.

"It's open," you yell from the inside and Colin moves to open the door. Caitlin didn't realize the two of you were on such close terms. Leaving your door unlocked for anyone to enter is wild to her considering she has to take so many precautions being who she is.

Once they step through the door, they are greeted by who Caitlin believes to be Pebbles and Bam Bam. Bam Bam makes his way directly to Colin and starts running in excited circles. Who Caitlin suspects to be Pebbles, sits and waits for Colin to come up to greet her.

Once Colin is done saying hi to Bam Bam, he make his way over to Caitlin. Caitlin crouches down and begins to pet the fluffy pup who is excited to meet her. She can't help but fall in love with him on the spot. Pebbles, like Colin said, was much more reserved. She sat at a distance from where Cait stood and just observes her. It is almost as if she is interrogating Caitlin and seeing if she is worthy of knowing her human.

"I'm ready," you say as you pop out of nowhere but head straight to the kitchen. Caitlin barely catches a glimpse of you before you are out of sight again. Colin is already putting Bam Bam's leash on. It's as if he has done it several times before, which he has.

"My sister is coming with us today, if that is okay," Colin says as he struggles with Pebble's leash as she looks at him knowing his struggles.

"Awesome! I finally get to meet her," you say as you grab water for the pups. You finally make your way to the front door with a big smile on your face. Caitlin reciprocates it when she realizes how beautiful you are.

"Hi! It is so nice to finally meet you," you say.

"Same to you, I have heard so much about you and these two little ones for months now but Colin has been keeping you all to himself," Caitlin says and wishes she could have met you sooner, a hint of jealousy reveals itself as she eagerly shakes your hand.

"Wait," you say stopping dead in your tracks. "You're Caitlin Clark."

Caitlin's smile widens at the fact that you know who she is, something she usually tries to avoid when she goes out to preserve any sort of normalcy she can. But when it comes to you, it makes her heart jump.

You turn to Colin and hit him on the shoulder.

"You didn't tell me your sister was Caitlin Clark!" You say to him and he puts his hands up in surrender.

"It is not something I usually go around announcing," he says.

"I don't blame you," you say after thinking for a second.

"Well it is so nice to meet you Caitlin Clark," you say as you reach out your hand to shake hers, introducing yourself. She smiles and repeats your name and it is in that moment that Colin knows he was right about his older sister having a type.

"I see you have already met Pebbles and Bam Bam," you say looking down at your babies. Bam Bam is still getting pets from Colin and Pebbles is sitting in between you and Caitlin while she stares up at her.

"I have, Colin has given me the run down," Cait says with a laugh. You join her with a laugh.

"Good, Pebbles will get there eventually - she is just very protective," you say and Caitlin looks down to see how Pebbles has made it clear that she will be staying in between you and Caitlin.

"Well, I look forward to earning her trust," Caitlin says.

The three of you head on the walk. Colin is holding Bam Bam's leash and is a few steps ahead of you, Caitlin, and Pebbles. Pebbles walks right in between you and Caitlin, only moving to sniff something and relieve herself.

You and Caitlin talk the whole time causing Colin to whisper to Bam Bam, 'I told you they would hit it off'. When you get back to your apartment Caitlin wishes the walk was longer.

"Would you and the pups like to come over for dinner?" Caitlin asks, surprising both you and Colin.

"Are you sure about that?" You ask, knowing some people don't like having animals in their home because of the hair.

"Ya, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't sure," she says. You nod.

"We would love that," you say with a smile.

"Great," Caitlin says matching your smile. "Why don't you come over around 6ish."

"Sounds great," you say as you enter your apartment. "We will see you tonight!"

Caitlin and Colin head into their apartment and Colin gives her a look.

"You hate when I bring dog hair into the apartment," Colin says. Her inviting you and the dogs over will surely be a cause for there to be more hair than ever before.

"A little dog hair never hurt anybody," she says as she begins to go through the cabinets and fridge to see what she could whip up for dinner.

"Mmmhmmm, I'm pretty sure I remember you saying how it was going to be a 'pain in the ass' to clean when I first started bringing it in," Colin says teasing his older sister.

"Ya well, it's worth it," Caitlin says thinking about the way you eyes smile.

"It's worth it or she's worth it?" Colin asks.

"She's worth is," Caitlin says without hesitation.

AN: Okay but this is absolutely adorable and if you think otherwise, you are wrong. But still, let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for your love and support

[i-cant-sing]

PLS PLS WRITE THE PLATONIC YANDERE MIGUEL OHARA FIC IM BEGGINF 🙏🙏🙏🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️WE NEED MORE PLATONIC FICS OF THIS MAN

(Thank you for reading this and have a great day!!)

I definitely see dad Miguel treating reader like a child, no matter what age you are. You could be a strong, independent woman, and to Miguel... you're a baby🥺 Everytime you get frustrated when he tells you no, or doesn't allow you to do what you want, he thinks you look absolutely adorable, your brows furrowed and your nostrils flared, and Miguel just has to just lean down to your level and you think that he's gonna offer you an explanation and in his mind, he does, but all he really says is-

"I know what's best for you, mija."

And if you dare to say "you're not my dad!", he won't say anything because yeah, you're right, but he will stare at you intimidatingly until you either take your words back or change the topic.

I think Miguel is not someone who talks much (but he still expects you to converse with him regularly) and so when he doesn't wanna argue with you, he may or may not shoot a web to seal your lips shut, just so that you give him enough time to explain (which again he doesnt), but he does use this time to tell you that you're grounded and then again, uses his strength against you to pick you up like a little bratty kitten and drop you back to your room.

I also think that Miguel definitely sees you as this helpless creature that would absolutely DIE without him. It doesn't matter if you're a spider-person like him, no. To him, you're just a frail kitten that needs papa Miguel's help to shelter her from the pouring rain and bubble wrap you and cuddle you and just- protect you from this all too harsh world.

And you could be trying to break free from his grasp, going of about how he didnt need you to pull you from your universe, how you had your life under control and what not, and Miguel would just sigh and shake his head and mutter "Teenagers🙄" EVEN IF YOU'RE AN ADULT.

Miguel isnt someone who talks about his feelings, definitely not at first, he just bottles everything up until the lid pops off and someone else has to face his fury. BUT that doesn't he doesn't expect you to talk about yours. He's super observant so the moment he notices the slightest change in your mood, or the way you breathe, oh he's bugging you to tell him whats wrong. I mean he's breathing down your neck, which as you already know isnt great because he is the only person you're allowed to talk to (minus Peter B Parker and Mayday), and eventually, he may even tie you upside down with his web to make you talk. And he's just nodding and offering up solutions/therapeutic advices (not really, they're just compromises) while you're getting blood rush from hanging off the ceiling for so long.

Also going back to the "you're not my dad!" thing, I think if you say it enough times, it does start to hurt him and eventually he reaches a breaking point where he does end up getting mad and bares his teeth at you as he yells "I AM, NOW! AND IF YOU DON'T START LISTENING TO ME MIJA, YOU WILL REGRET IT! NOW, MARCH OFF TO YOUR ROOM!" And sure, you get spooked enough to run off, but not before you yell like a very cliche, angsty teen "I hate you!" and you slam your door close before he could scold you again. He still comes right up to your door, probably to ground you even more, but he doesnt have the heart to open the door when he hears your sobs. Damn, now you just broke his heart. So, Miguel leaves, deciding its best that you two get some space to cool off.

Now I see Miguel as the type of dad who doesnt really apologise (mostly because he doesn't feel like he's done anything wrong) but instead offers a parley or a white flag of sorts in the form of food (like some cut up fruits and veggies, or even your fav takeout) and sure, his heart is still heavy with guilt, even more so when he sees your swollen red eyes indicating how you've been crying for days, so he clears his throat, maybe shifts in his seat a little and asks about your day or something random, heartbreak intensifying 100X when you refuse to talk to him, making him resort to something thats... uncomfortable for you both.

A hug.

I mean this has to be the most awkward hug in history, because Miguel just swoops you up and places you in his lap, pulling you to his chest and telling you that he's not letting go until you talk. STILL NOT APOLOGISING, I mean there is a greater likelihood that you may end up apologising to him but Miguel sure as hell isnt saying the word "sorry" (unless you're dead, specifically if u die in his arms hehe).

[sloanesallow]

Sebastian Sallow Headcanons

So I've seen some of my moots do one of these and decided it was my turn, even if nobody asked. 🤣

These are all ideas that are present in stories I’ve already published, or ones that are forthcoming in Void. A lot of this is word-vomit LOL. I’ve credited anyone that I’ve been inspired by, but otherwise, similar head-canons to other creators are coincidental.

Disclaimer: My opinions are mine. They might also be yours! They might also be somebody else’s. Or not. That’s the fun thing about fandom. We can all have our own thoughts! Disagree? Cool! Just don’t be mean about it. :)

Sebastian is left-handed.

Actually, ambidextrous. So while it’s probably an error in-game, if you take Sebastian with you to Hogsmeade, in the Three-Broomsticks he stands up to defend you with his wand in his left hand. I’ve just decided to run with it and think his left is more dominant than his right, but he can use both.

Sebastian is on the spectrum.

Because I am on the spectrum, it’s hard not to write this nerdy little boy as somebody who obsesses over data and information. Sebastian is a numbers guy. Counts stuff in his head; keeps lists. Obsessive about his note-taking and will throw away a page if he thinks his penmanship isn’t perfect enough. I put in a previous post that he’d be the type to stare at a jar of jelly beans and know how many are inside with one glance.

Sebastian is very intelligent but oh so stupid (affectionately)

For some reason, the only comparison I can think of right now is a weird combination of Abed and Troy from Community. You know the friend that seems to always be in weird, preventable situations and says the most out-of-pocket things but will turn around and quote Shakespeare. He probably is the smartest person in the room but isn’t humble about it. Sebastian is book-smart and thinks he’s street-smart (insert John Mullaney here) but his life experience is actually quite limited. Yes, his parents died (and he may have witnessed it to some degree), but I do think he might have been sheltered in some capacity. Which brings me to my next point:

Sebastian’s feelings are intense, and sometimes misguided

Sebastian would benefit from therapy, no joke. He likely wasn’t given the space to process his parent’s death, so it’s no wonder he SPIRALS when Anne gets sick. His desperation comes from a place of fear, but his inability to cope leads to some very unfortunate circumstances. And yes, Sebastian can be deceptive and manipulative, but I don’t think he acts this way on purpose, but because he doesn’t know any better. He acts first, thinks later, and this can lead to tension in his friendships (MC/Ominis). It’s also why so many authors write him as somewhat possessive when pairing him romantically with MC (or anyone, really). I tend to write him as being disinterested in romance (too busy) until it smacks him in the face and he chases that high obsessively. However, I think it takes a long time for Sebastian to recognize what real, healthy love is.

Sebastian would never be an Auror

I’ll die on this hill. Sebastian would probably not ever want to work for the Ministry, and distrusts authority, even as he ages and matures. Regardless if you think he acted in self-defense or not, he still killed his uncle with an unforgivable. That’s scary. And dangerous. A kid knowing and practicing Dark Magic? Even if he never does it again, he wouldn’t risk his life by flaunting himself in front of the Ministry. Also, Solomon was an Auror. Now, I’ll admit I have him working with the Ministry in some capacity in my fics (curse breaker), but for the most part, he is a free agent and does what he wants (in true Sebastian fashion).

Pocket cookies

Always has some kind of snack in his pockets for emergencies. I’ve had this come up several times now in my fics (see below) and it’s a running joke. I just love the idea of him pulling out a cookie to offer somebody in their time of need.

Other little things:

Triple Scorpio??? I did this on accident when making a birthday (November 8 1873) for him and CoStar said based on my made-up birth chart he was Scorpio Sun/Moon/Ascending which according to my astrology babes, is uhhhhh insane.  

Allergic to lavender???? Don’t ask.

He's just a silly, goofy guy, okay?

[starsaroundsaturn]

12 small ways to be knightly

when I was a smol child I wanted nothing more than to go out and be a knight and change the world. now that I am a slightly more grown child I have realized I can still be a knight by changing the world in little ways. I do not actually think these things are small in impact, they are just easy to do. the starred (*) options are especially low in cost for those who don't have much money to spare!

keep money on you to give to people who need it. like a $1 bill could keep somebody from starving to death. $10 will buy a gym membership so they can shower and be clean. $20 will make sure they can travel to a shelter without hitchhiking (which is so dangerous.)

donate blood. you can keep up to 3 people alive from 1 donation. you can fight the dangerous beast that is cancer, save someone during their surgery, etc.*

plant a plant on your porch, balcony, etc. it's good for the bees and it will probably make a passerby smile.*

give money to a homeless shelter or food bank! you would be surprised what $5 can do for a person! (do your research, though, make sure this shelter or food bank does what it says it will!)

start a small free library. this just involves getting a box that you can put outside and putting books in it and labeling it as a free library! you can get used books at a thrift store for less than $2 each and make sure that books are accessible to people around you!

reach out to someone you think might be struggling in your life. this can make all the difference to a person and can save lives.*

smile at people you meet.*

sincerely thank the people who help you throughout your life, like the barista who gets you coffee, the person who brings your mail, a teacher, etc.*

give someone you love a hug.*

keep your space clean and treat yourself with respect and care. (a knight takes care of themselves and their possessions!)*

have faith the world can get better.*

adopt an animal rather than buying one. so many animals have been abandoned and hurt, and you can give them a new home.

if you have other ways to be knightly, please add! if you want to build a community of knights with me who go about righting wrongs in the smallest of ways, please interact!

chivalry is not dead as long as we keep it alive inside us.

[alreadyblondenow]

▸ Assassin Jaehyun x Assassin Female reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Gore, MATURE ▸ JAEHYUN SMUT SERIES: FUCK, MARRY, KILL ▸ VOLUME I: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

Summary: The start of a new life. Training to be an assassin and a chance to experience true love. The son of the leader of the Jeong clan fell in love with you while you two live your lives as assassins. He promised a quiet life, but when things went south. You decided to leave Jaehyun… and hide your daughter from him.

VOLUME I: PART 1 WORD COUNT: 7,889k

Warnings: THIS FIC IS FICTION ONLY, Smut, smut, smut, MATURE THEMES, Heavy description of killings because most of the characters are assassins, mentions of blood, character death, A LOT OF NCT MEMBERS WILL D WORD IN THIS FIC, unprotected sex, mentions of condoms, mentions of pill, pregnancy, swearing, mentions of alcohol. Mentions of being an orphan, Not everything is proofread, apologies again. I hope I did not forget anything.

A/N: I will cut VOLUME I into three parts, just because 20k word count is not acceptable in one post hahaha. I'm sorry :( I will try to put warnings on every part of the story that has gory details. This will still focus on the love story but still I wanted to write again so this may be long. I hope everyone will enjoy every word of VOLUME I.

Too good to be true

When you singlehandedly ruined your life it’s a given fact that you became desperate to saving yourself especially when you know that no one else got your back. No family, no friends, it’s just you and your shadow. You’re an orphan who’s friendless, no one would take you and on top of that …. You’re fully capable of hurting people. That’s why everyone is scared of you. 

“The orphanage… cannot handle you anymore. You’re a good person y/n, you cause trouble because bullies won’t leave you alone… but you’re becoming… too dangerous. I’m sorry- it’s the Jeongs or the slums.” The head of the orphanage explains to you with sorry eyes. 

The Jeongs… Who are they? Am I finally getting adopted? You thought alone as you fix your things, preparing to leave first thing in the morning. Why does it have to be so rushed? Are they really excited to meet me? 

The next day, you were picked up by a tall man. A big, buff and tall man named Chanyeol. He looked sharp in his suit, he immediately explained that he will drive you to the Jeong’s residence and also explained your purpose there from now on. And that’s where your fantasies about having a family disappears. “You are adopted by the Jeongs to be one of their assasins. To kill for them” The words from that guy Chanyeol’s mouth sounded unreal, you wanted to ask if he’s just scaring you and if he’s joking. Apparently not. 

The Jeong’s residence was big. It’s like a paradise. It looks peaceful because it has a very green garden, big trees, flowers here and there, and nice staffs that wore black their entire life working for the Jeongs. There were three other guys arrived after you. They all look alone too and lost, and you figured they all came in different countries. 

“Taeyong, Yuta and Mark. This is Y/n,” a woman in black introduced them to you, they all said hi but you can see right through them… they all have this wall around them as if any time the people here are going to kill them any second. “From now on the five of you will be a team and will work with the Jeongs” she added. “Five? There’s only four of us here” Mark said, he’s the youngest. 

“You will meet the fifth member tomorrow before you training starts…” 

By the time she took you guys for a quick tour around the residence, your world became quiet as if you’re not interested anymore. You just want to rest and start what you need to do in this place. 

It feels good huh? You said to yourself as you stare in the mirror of your own bathroom. It feels good to finally know your purpose in life. The Jeongs gave you shelter, comfortable clothes that are all black but all new and nice, your own room with all the things you need… they even gave you a makeup kit. And you wonder whats that for. 

There were only 5 things they want you to remember. In exchange for the Jeong’s goodness, you need to:

Train to be an assassin everyday. 

Only one Holiday outside. 

Don’t make friends outside. We are your friends and family now. 

Look out for each other.

Earn your freedom. That means after your years of service, you will of course have your freedom. 

The terms were simple and you can only hope that killing someone is as simple as these rules too. 

Everything is too good to be true. 

Until now, you can’t believe that you’re lucky to have this kind of family now.

“So when are we going to meet the fifth member?” Taeyong asked, the oldest. He has a cold impression, scary but very handsome. 

“I’m here. Sorry- my sister and mother is very dramatic. They were having a hard time letting me go. By the way, I’m Jaehyun!” he said with a big smile in his face. He is the first person in this place who actually lit up the entire room with just a smile. 

He’s very handsome. Almost as if you were looking at a saint, you thought. 

“You look lost,” Yuta said, the Japanese guy who looked tough. “The four of us looked so lost when we arrived, but we all felt that we belonged here… but you, I believe you’re out of place. You don’t belong here you’re too happy”

“I’m not happy. I’m just as miserable as you are, I just don’t show it” Jaehyun said with a cocky smile. 

“Oh come on! It’s our first day together, what is up with this tension?” Mark tried to stop Jaehyun and Yuta from fighting, but Yuta knows the truth already. 

“This guy right here is the only son of Mr. and Mrs. Jeong. The next in line to be the next great Jeong” Yuta said with a smirk, mocking Jaehyun’s last name. And this time, he is getting on Jaehyun’s nerves already… but Jaehyun knew better than cause trouble. He calmed himself down and did not let his anger get him. 

Everyone in the room completely understood what’s happening here. He is the son or Mr. Jeong, Jeong Yoonoh, but they call him Jaehyun. He is next in line after Mr. Jeong, the one and only son and is expected to take the family business when the time comes. 

A typical plot, everyone thought. But training your one and only son to be a monster is a different kind of brutality. You can only imagine what kind of struggles he’s carrying. 

“On behalf of my parents, and family, I would like to apologies for them” he bowed in front of everyone sincerely, “I will start training with you guys but that doesn’t mean I am not grateful to sacrificing your lives for our clan. Thank you” after that, he walked towards Yuta whispered beside his shoulder, 

“Don’t you think it’s fucked up? That my father sent me here- his only son. You don’t know me” Jaehyun said sternly that made Yuta shut up. 

The room became quiet and as the first instructor enters, giving Jaehyun and Yuta a good punch before everything starts.  

And that is the start of your life here as an assassin. 

You’re adopted to be an assassin. You’re going to grow old here. 

The past few weeks was easy. You had the opportunity to know your colleagues, all four of them. Finally, people you can call family you thought. It’s part of your training to treat each and everyone as family because by the time you guys are sent for a mission, no one can be left behind. In other words, each and everyone of you should be capable of saving each other. 

Eventually, Jaehyun and Yuta became friends. Good friends. 

Months have passed and this was the beginning of every struggle. It has been heavy and hard. The training was harder. Everyone is bleeding but everyone grew stronger without you guys noticing. 

After a years of training, you became good with guns and became a good fighter as well. Theres nothing much of your story… yet. But you are loving this new life that the Jeongs have given to you. 

Jaehyun is good at everything. He was expected to do so. If not, his father will give him a hard time. During the training everyone could see the pressure that he carries everyday. The constant reminder of “I have to be great at this part,” you can basically see it in his face. 

Yuta became a swordsman, and is actually good with everything sharp. Eventually, you guys knew his story. That his family, The Nakamoto clan is in huge debt of the Jeongs, and he came in here voluntarily for the honor of his family. Obviously, besides Jaehyun, he’s the only person who has a family.  

Taeyong became the leader and can turn everything into a weapon. Everyone was quite expecting this already, aside from weapons Taeyong is good at strategizing… planning and organizing everything for everyone not to get killed. 

Mark, became really good at technology. He can hack every system. Unfortunately, because he’s the youngest, he’s not allowed to do the dirty job, only the techie stuff. Which he loves doing. 

Everyone matured in their own way, Chanyeol even got married. But even though time flies so fast they haven’t sent anyone of you to kill somebody yet. 

It was a scary thought. Everyday you wake up thinking, “Is this the day?”. Is this going to be the day that you will kill for the first time in your life? Its not that you kill innocent people, the people that you’re about to kill in the future probably deserves it. At least thats what you’re told. 

You thought that accepting the reality of what you’re doing is the hardest thing but no. “Wait until your first kill. It’s like your first love, you will never forget it” Chanyeol said during one of his lectures.

But by the time everyone had their first kill already, everyone became unstoppable. 

They started training you at the age of 19 and watched you grow to be a young assassin at the age of 24. You grew up ruthless, crazy, and merciless. You have your own way of killing the people you need to kill, you do it fast, but whenever you want to play, you watch their souls leave their eyes. You even became Jaehyun’s father his favorite assassin because you could be anything and you could kill anyone. 

“You could be a perfect Jeong,” Jaehyun joked while you two are sharpening knives that you both used from training earlier. You watch him in front of you and you cant help but notice, he really is handsome but Jaehyun is not only handsome because of his look. Maybe… he’s handsome in you’re eyes because he’s actually nice, he’s nice at the staffs here, he’s nice to you, heck… he takes care of you. He grew up well despite the dangerous environment he’s already in. 

“I don’t want to be a Jeong- I’m not perfect,” you said while you work with a knife. 

“You’re perfect in my eyes and in my father’s eyes,” he replied. 

By this time you just wanted to shut him up and make him stop. Quite annoying actually. “So what, you want to be siblings with me? You have sisters aren’t they enough? or you want someone who kills people for a living as your sister?” 

“Nope. What I meant was marry me someday,” He bravely said. 

There was silence between you two, awkwardness. Jaehyun really saw the ugly truth that it’s not yet time to confess his feeling to you. Not this way, but well, at least he tried. 

“I’m just kidding” he added to take away the awkwardness, “Dinner is almost ready, don’t be late okay?” 

There’s nothing in the world you hate the most than going on a mission alone. You’ve always done missions alone though, but whenever it gets too long to finish, you miss home a little too much as days go by. 

New York is always busy. It never gave you the calm feeling that you’ve been yearning for.

Again, Its lonely when you do missions away from home. It’s the kind of mission where you have to be patient and plan your kill silently, and without trace. The one that you have to plan oh so carefully because you have to make it look like an accident. And because it’s frustrating you, you’re now looking at a beautiful sunset, breathing in and out, on this busy park. Feeling the cold breeze of today, feeling it kiss your face, it’s almost Christmas you tell yourself and shook your head immediately because you just missed home even more.

Another thing you hate about being lonely, is that you kept thinking about the blurry future. The one that was promised after years of service, your freedom. You can’t help but think about hows it like to have a normal life, quiet mornings, experiencing love, experiencing heartbreak, new beginnings and discover opportunities. 

It was calm but at the same time, noisy for a moment, until you received a call from an unknown number. Little did you know, this phone call will change your life. 

“Hello?” You wait for the person on the other line to talk. 

“Well, you look lonely. What’s bothering you?” 

Of course you knew that voice. The voice that gave you a smile tonight, and has been making you smile ever since you two met. 

“You could ruin both of our missions-“ you giggle through the phone but Jaehyun was beside you already and pulled you in for a warm hug. 

“Why are you dressed so thin?” He said, looking fine as ever while he talks to you. He was all red, his nose, his ears, he looked like he’s really freezing but he did not hesitate to give you his coat. 

“I didn’t know that we were on the exact same location” you said as you swing your arms around his and stay close to him. Motioning him to walk with you. 

“I didn’t know it either but, Mark told me that we were. He also said that you’ve been home sick lately” 

“Yeah. I’ve been- it’s frustrating me Jae. I can’t shake him up and point him towards my trap” 

“Patience. Just be patient,” he smiles. 

The night went on beautifully. Jaehyun took you to dinner, had couple of drinks, walked around town, took pictures together like you’re on vacation, you two were playing around, making alibis, wondering if anyone from your missions pass by and recognize any of you. It will ruin both your covers, and what you two are doing right now is dangerous. 

While you two are walking towards your apartment, you asked Jaehyun, “Have you ever had a girlfriend before?” 

“Nope. Nothing real. It’s all for the mission, I guess. Been with a couple of girls, all part of the mission” Jaehyun answers. 

“Me too. Sometimes when I’m with someone, I can’t help but think what’s it like to have the real thing” 

And that gave Jaehyun a stupid idea. A stupid idea to make use of your time together here in Nee York. 

It’s a beautiful time. 

A beautiful time to be together. 

If he couldn’t admit his feelings to you, he will drive you towards love instead and make you love him.

“Thank you for tonight Jae, I really needed it” you reached out for his hand and gave it a good squeeze before pulling him in for a hug before you go inside. 

“Hey can I visit you again tomorrow?” Jaehyun asks, with a smile. 

“Of course. Good night Jae,” you said sweetly.

As promised, Jaehyun visited you the next day, and the day after that, and the following days. 

Your friendship bloomed beautifully but it was pretty obvious that it wasn’t just friendship this time. You’re not stupid, you didn't miss how he puts his arm around your waist and keep you close whenever the place gets too crowded. Like that time while you two rode the subway together, he kept you close and made you feel safe.. as if you’re not capable of saving yourself. 

He made you feel like you can depend on him. He made you feel like he’s your man. 

But most importantly, you can see that Jaehyun has been putting the work for the both of you. 

He has been doing the things he likes with you, while you do the things you like with him. It was beautiful you thought. 

You’ve always wanted to hug someone in the morning and tell them good morning. 

You’ve always wanted to make coffee for someone, not because you have to, but because you actually want to. 

You’ve always wanted to have quiet moments while you read a book, and just enjoy a good day quietly… with your someone. With Jaehyun, it was always calm and warm. 

Like this afternoon. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jaehyun asks while playing with your hair. You on the other hand is feeling very comfortable laying your head in his lap. 

“I love the time we spent together… I can’t help but think of  the day we finally get to go home… are we going to be close like this?” 

“You’re thinking too much—“ 

“Yeah you’re right I’m thinking too much,” you got up quickly from your comfort because it pissed you off. How can he disregard what you just said to him… it was basically a confession. 

But just before you walk away from him, he was quick to grab your hand, and made him face you. 

The tension between you two was intensifying. He’s never touched you like this or be close like this. 

Then he finally kissed you. 

After years of yearning, patience and stopping himself from confessing. He finally did it. 

It was a beautiful afternoon. A beautiful afternoon to kiss and confess each other’s feelings through the way you kiss each other, the way your hands roam around, and the way sweet words just comes out from your mouths naturally. 

He motioned you towards your shared room, hands carefully undress each other in between giggling and whispering. 

It all felt right at the moment. 

His hands are warm when it roams around your skin, it feels like you’re burning in want when his fingers first glide on your wet slit while his mouth is busy kissing your neck and whispering the things you should do. Like, ‘open your legs more,— thats more I like it’, ‘do you want cum already or should I do more?’ ‘Calm down, you look like you’re about to cum’ ‘I want to hear my name’ 

And in between those lustful moment, he kisses you sweetly, as if he’s telling you ‘please’ 

When he saw that you’re already soaking, his kisses went down along your body, kissing and licking your boobs, taking his time to turn you on again and again, until he reaches your pussy and did not waited a second to kiss it and spread your pussy lips. Working with his fingers, up and down and taking turns with his mouth. Time seems to be slowing down at the moment while you arch your back and unintentionally grip Jaehyun’s hair while you enjoy every second of his what his mouth, lips, tongue and fingers could do to you. 

Until you reach your first high and asked for more. 

He reached for your hand and made you pump his cock, “ready?” He asks, you just nod sweetly and reached for his face to kiss him hungrily. 

It didn’t hurt that much but there was a good stretch. He was big after all, and his rawness felt so good around your walls you can’t get enough of it. 

He thrusted slowly, kissing you while he focuses on making you feel good, careful not to hurt you. 

“Fuck- you fuck so good,” with heavy breaths that compliment came out of nowhere he just kissed your neck to respond to that. “Are you really this good at everything Jaehyun?” You added, swinging your arms around his body, touching every part of him which he loves. You touch his body while he looks at you eye to eye, you put one finger in his mouth and it was just another paradise. 

When you feel him asking for more. You comply to what he wanted to do. He flipped you on your stomach and licked your entrance before you feel him kiss your back which made you weak and land face first on the mattress. Little did you know, it was just his way to get you on his favorite sex position. 

Now your on all fours, face on the mattress while Jaehyun thrusts on your pussy slowly. You can feel his hands rest on your ass, giving a slight smack whenever you try to put it down, but he was also quick to replace it with a kiss before going back to business. 

“You don’t know how many times I imagined doing this to you,” he whispers and planted kisses on your face. 

When he felt you clenching around his cock, he fucked you faster making the bed rock and mattress creak. He came inside you of course, while kissing your back and soothing your right ass cheek. When he pulled out, he inserted one finger which felt nice and made you excited again. 

“We’ll go another round,” he winked and watched his cum come out of your pussy. 

That night, you two stayed in bed and fuck more than you could have imagine. 

Of course there’s a time where you just talked about your feelings. How much you two don’t want to go back just yet and how much you wanted this relationship to work. 

After that night, you don’t need to imagine what real love feels like. 

Love and home suddenly became a person for you and that’s Jaehyun. 

You can feel his presence already whenever you feel like he’ll arrive anytime soon at your doorstep and shower him with kisses. Love is knowing that someone will come home to you. Love is watching a movie together, and not noticing that one of you is sleeping already. Love is trying to impress Jaehyun with your cooking skills, and even though he’s a better cook he says you cook better. 

Love is having someone to comfort you whenever you have nightmares and you see the faces of the people you kill in your dreams. 

“Y/n, wake up, baby you’re having a nightmare” 

Jaehyun open the lampshade and got you a glass of water after successfully waking you up. He’s been waking up for five minutes already. He was so worried. 

When you’re all calm again, your now watching the rain outside and enjoying the quiet evening. Arms around each other, keeping each other warm.

“We’ve experienced tough shit — I really believe that we deserve each other’s love” he whispers so he wont ruin the quietness of a beautiful night. 

Days continue to be beautiful with Jaehyun. It felt like a dream but he was a hundred percent real because he proves it every day. The moment you wake up, you get to see his handsome face. Arms around you, like he’s never planning to let you go. 

You reached your vibrating phone and answer the call, Jeno. He was your mission. Your fake boyfriend. The one you need to kill. 

“Hello?” You answered, trying to get out of Jaehyun’s embrace but too late, you woke him up and decided not let you go. As he’s reminding you who your real boyfriend is. He thought of teasing you while you’re on the call but he knew better. Work should be respected.

“Hey, I just miss you… where have you been?” Jeno says, giving you a hint that he knew you were cheating and seeing a man beside him. Of course, you knew that already, Jaehyun mentioned that Jeno sent a gut to tail on him. Your boyfriend just laughed it out, he sees Jeno as a joke.

“I was actually just gonna call you— sorry I’ve been busy with work, with the coming holidays”

But even though Jeno knew you’re cheating, he still wanted to make things work. So he tries. “Can we go on a vacation tomorrow? Please? Days have been stressful and I just miss you” 

“Tomorrow? Uhh.. sure why not? Text me the details? Do you want to grab dinner tonight?” Words continue to come out of your mouth that hurt Jaehyun. But what can you do? You still have to play the part. 

When the call ended Jaehyun was silent. His eyes were closed and hasn’t said a word the moment you ended the call. 

But the man… truly and deeply loves you. So he stopped being childish and greet you good morning and showered you with kisses. 

“So I guess we have morning until afternoon then,” he said and kissed your shoulders. You just smiled and kissed him good morning which turned you on, “Why do you have to be so damn irresistable?” 

Jaehyun just chuckled and kissed your lips for the last time before he got up from bed, “I know we can’t get enough of each other but we have to get up now, it’s a busy day for the both of us but… can I just kill Jeno and have you for myself?” he joked. 

Even though Jaehyun knew that this is all part of the job, he can’t help but think that … he can’t just let you allow them to touch you. He wanted you to at least… think of him… 

The whole morning was unexpectedly quiet. You know the reason so you confronted him. “I wont let him lay a finger on me from now on, I promise” you said and hugged him behind while he’s cooking. “I know you’re worried. But please don’t forget that I am more than capable to protect myself”

“Thank you for promising,” he smiled and kissed you. When Jeno kept you away from Jaehyun it was torture for you. You used to like it whenever you and Jeno have sex, hell- that’s the reason why you got him around your finger. But now that you’ve experienced love finally and you know how making love feels like… you just can’t let Jeno touch you ever again. 

The whole trip was a mess. You stopped yourself from just slitting his throat while he’s sleeping. He didn’t like it when you stop him from having sex whenever he asks you to. He hated every reason you give him, but he never forced you. Of course Jeno knew this was because you’re cheating on him. He was planning to get you killed. Little did he know, you’re already ten steps ahead of him. 

By the time you and Jeno got back from that wasted vacation, he kept you on his side most of the time. Making sure you don’t have time for Jaehyun. He visits your apartment every night, pick you up in the morning, and spend time with you whenever he can. He even admitted that he really loves you. You just faked it and told him, you love him too. It’s disgusting. 

Jeno is a head of a drug cartel. He made a very famous drug that made a lot of people crazy about it. Too much of it can definitely kill you. That’s what happened to the daughter of Mr. Seo. Well she didn’t die, almost die. Mr. Seo is a powerful man that has great connections with great doctors whom took care of her daughter. Long story short, the daughter was Jeno’s ex-girlfriend, they made that drug together but Mr. Seo denied that his daughter had anything to do with it. 

By the way, Mr. Seo is Mr. Jeong’s longtime business partner. And that’s why you’re here. To serve revenge to someone’s daughter. 

Jaehyun on the other hand, is here to protect Mr. Seo’s daughter, just in case Jeno tries to send someone and kill her. But he just protects the girl from a far. Jaehyun is very careful with his job, he hates messy things. He’s the silent killer not you. 

“Can we just switch missions? I’ll protect the girl and you kill Jeno?” you joke and booped his nose. You just finished having sex and it really felt good to be fucked by the man you love after for so long you thought. This has been the first night you’ve been together, ever since Jeno kept you away. This wouldn’t even happen if Jaehyun didn’t kill the man tailing him. Poor guy you thought. 

“Don’t give me ideas,” he laughed and made you sit on top of him, creating a great view of your body, you then reached for his cock and surprised him. He didn’t expect that you’d put it in and grind on top of him. 

“You were saying?” you wanted him to continue what he was saying while you fuck him. Yes, fuck him. 

“I said…” he croaked, almost a moan. He couldn’t even finish a sentence, “don’t give me ideas that I could easily do” he pulled you down so you’re closer to him, kissing your neck while you continue what you do. In a matter of minutes, Jaehyun came and you stayed on to him, feeling him catch his breath. 

“If Jeno dies, we both come home— but I’m not pressuring you,” he laughed and kissed you, “I’m just a little excited to what’s next for our life after this mission, you know?”

But you were already sleeping when he checked up on you. Of course he didn’t just let you sleep naked on top of him, gently he made lay you down beside him and looked for clean clothes to cover you up. He kissed you goodbye because he needed to work tonight. 

The next day, there was something off with Jeno that he kept on getting mad and he’s getting into your nerves. That pushed you to go for the kill and just use a knife to kill him. To your surprise, he was specially skilled with sharp objects too. You didn’t back down of course, you gave his pretty face a nice scar, just incase he survives and you fail to kill him, at least he will remember you. 

“Your boyfriend is an assassin too, I know that much. He’s dead now,” 

And those words got the best of you. It caught you off guard making him had the chance to pierce the knife deep. 

Now you’re on weak on the floor bleeding and trying to survive. But your mind is really not on what’s happening to you, you don’t care if you die. But you care if Jaehyun is really dead. It can’t be. He’s the greatest assassin you’ve ever seen. 

You feel your body getting weaker and weaker as you crawl away from Jeno… then suddenly you hear a thud. And heard someone call your name… 

“Y/n— fuck, stay with me baby,” 

It was Jaehyun. You’re sure that he’s well and alive. 

“It’s just a cut Jae, I’ll live for sure,” 

Jaehyun on the other hand was quick to get materials he knew could save you. He also called for Mark’s to send help and clean up Jeno’s body. “Mark, Y/n needs help send a doctor to Jeno’s place now and clean up”

“Got it! Yuta is also on his way to fill in for you— we had a lead on,”

“Mark, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I don’t care if that girl dies. Y/n needs me, how long do we have to wait?”

“S-sorry, but help will be there 20 minutes tops”

Jaehyun didn’t even said thank you or good bye to Mark. He just ended the call and took care of you because you passed out already. Jaehyun was panicking already and more than furious that he shot Jeno’s dead body a few more times to release his anger towards him. 

When you finally wake up, you see Jaehyun beside you sleeping. You figured maybe he didn’t even got the chance to rest from last night. 

This mission was more than fucked up. You failed. Jaehyun failed. All because you finally have a weakness now, and it’s Jaehyun. This is bad you thought.   

By the time you’re all well and ready to go home, you thought that Jaehyun will go home with you and tell every truth to Chanyeol together. But no. He needed to stay behind because he needed to fix his own mess for you and for him. You could have helped him but you’re too weak at the moment. 

When you came back, Chanyeol was beyond furious, he told you ugly truths… that made you force yourself to the things you don’t like. Like, leaving Jaehyun. 

“He didn’t tell you that the girl he was protecting secretly was his future fiance?” Chanyeol smirked, he didn’t want to hurt you either but he needed to tell you the truth for your own good. After all, you’re like a daughter to him. 

“Are you really sure you love Jaehun?” you nod ‘yes’, of course. “What can you offer to him? Cant you see it? You two are not perfect for each other, he’s a son of a powerful man. Who are you y/n?”

And that hurt you.

“Have you ever imagined stepping into Jaehyun’s real world? You have to understand that you two are not meant for each other,” 

He was right. “Good thing Jaehyun’s father never heard of your relationship. He wanted you to work directly with him. Take this as a chance to redeem your last mission. And try to forget about Jaehyun while you’re away”

And just after Chanyeol talked to you, Jaehyun just arrived in 127 house, wearing the biggest smile on his face. Hoping for a welcome back kiss perhaps. But you avoided his touch. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, you don’t know where to begin but he already knew that Chanyeol a;ready brainwashed you, “Chanyeol is good at brainwashing Y/n, you know that”

“But that doesn’t mean that the things he told me aren’t true. I’m sorry Jae— it was childish. What we did was childish,”

“I can’t believe I’m fucking hearing this. AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN NEW YORK Y/N?!” He shouted. 

“I’m sorry,” is all you could say before turning your back on him. 

Maybe life is punishing your for all the lives you’ve taken without mercy.

You’ve been far from home way too long now… you’re long forgiven for what happened to New York now. 

At this point you don’t even know if what happened between you and Jaehyun was true or was it all just a dream or a fantasy made up. You don’t even have one single proof that you and Jaehyun shared something special there. You only have this heartbreak that you’ve been carrying for years, ever since you left. 

Given that you’re Mr. Jeong’s favorite assassin, you work tirelessly whenever he puts you on schedule. You’ve been assigned to be close to him and became his personal bodyguard, and go whenever he goes, and kill whenever he says so. Mr. Jeong is very busy man, he flies in and out of different countries and you alone is responsible with his safety for the whole time… well, you and other unnamed bodyguards that are foreign. But most of your days are spent on the Jeong’s skyscraper building. You just stand all day, everyday outside Mr. Jeong’s office and guard it. 

But by the time Chanyeol made you come back and put you on a field mission, you’ve never been so happy and excited to kill someone after so long. 

“I love seeing your smile Y/n,” Jaehyun welcomes you back with a hug, together with the others, “But you wont like this mission,” Jaehyun warns you. 

He talks to you like nothing happened. Like he wasn’t the reason why you were away from this home for far too long. You’re not mad at him. You’re just surprised on with how well he’s been and that’s the only thing you want him to be. Happy. 

While Mark is explaining what is what and who is who, you can’t help but think that Jaehyun was right with his warning earlier.For years and years of killing, this has been the hardest mission for you. It was as if you are looking for a ghost who kills people and you’re almost hopeless with this mission. 

Hendery. 

There are six Phantoms, Yangyang, Winwin and Xiaojun are all dead. And Hendery was the one assigned to you, while Ten and Kun are both hard to find because no one knew their faces. No one knew what Hendery looks like either, but Mark just so happens to know that he will have business in Hongkong on new year’s eve. That’s all the information he could give to you, because that’s all the information he has about Hendery.

The Phantoms are very rich chinese men who has many successful business around asia. They’re powerful because they kill every competition they have, and they kill strictly for  business and because of business. Business is everything with the Phantoms. And that’s the difference between the Jeongs and the Phantoms, the Jeongs kill for protection. 

Rumor has it that the Phantoms wanted to buy every business that the Jeongs own. And that is where the war started between them. 

“This time I really want you to be careful,” Jaehyun came out of nowhere while you were packing your things. 

“Privacy Mr.,” you joked, “I know your family owns me, but you don’t own me, yet.” you teased him, you were talking about him being the big boss someday. He just laughed and crossed his arms. He always looks nice in black with his golden ring, the only token he had from his mom, its like an I.D for him… so that people around this house will not forget that he’s still a Jeong. 

“When I killed Yangyang, the kid almost fooled me” he started and sat down your bed, “It was a loud kill, I almost fucked up” 

“That sounds like a joke, you never do loud kills ” you stopped packing and sat down with him. 

“He knew who I was… barely came out of his house alive” Suddenly the air in your room became cold… this has never happened to Jaehyun before. “They’re all jokers Y/n, they know us” 

That night, Jaehyun didn’t want leave your bed. You couldn’t sleep either, you just miss how his warmth can calm you and make you feel safe. He didn’t want to bombard you with words like “I miss you so much…” and tell you the things he has been doing while you were away. You have so little time together, and all he can do it show you how much he still feels for you. 

So he bravely kissed you. 

And you kissed him back. 

For a few minutes it felt right. Like you two were back in New York in that small little apartment. His kisses were sweet and inocent, his hands were all over you but on the right places, like while he intertwines his hands with yours and how he cups your face only to hold you closer. But when you two stopped and realized that this will get you two into trouble again. He let you turn your back against him. 

And theres nothing he could do and did not protest. 

He pulled your duvet and made sure youre warm tonight, kissed you one last time on your head and left your room. 

He still loves you. And that fact alone made you cry to sleep, because you still love him too. 

When you left for the mission, it was already loud and red all over Hongkong. Mark still has no further information about Hendery which makes you even more nervous. “Calm down, just read the room and trust your hunch” Mark said through your earpiece. 

“What if I kill the wrong guy Mark? Are you going to take responsibility-” but Chanyeol had the line even before you could finish. 

“Can you please calm down? Hendery is within the area already because his bodyguards are spotted… but still no visual on the target,” you sigh at what Chanyeol said, “Maybe Mark is right, read the room. It’s not hard to find someone who looks rich and has an army of bodyguards around” 

“Okay. Fine. I’ll move on my own since you two are so useless” 

You removed your earpiece and put it in your purse. 

You were ordered to just watch him during the event and go for the kill when the clock strikes 12 and the whole country will be so loud. You were having a hard time looking for him at the moment, who would have thought that it would be this hard. You drank your frustrations away, shot by shot. Until you’re becoming light headed and a little tipsy already. You can’t go home with a failed mission. Agin.

During the celebration, you noticed someone who’s really handsome and really attractive… actually, his family is so loud, you figured he was celebrating with his beautiful sisters and their kids. The room was not hard to read, they are just a normal family that will be in shock by the chaos you’re about to do later. Poor kids you thought. 

The kids were all cute, wearing colorful dresses, very energetic… it makes you dream about having your own someday. Will you have a daughter? A son? whatever it is, you will your kid with all your heart. 

Then suddenly… One of the kids approached you with a glass of water. 

What if… the water was poisoned. What if Hendery sent her? 

What on earth are you thinking Y/n? She’s a sweet kid. 

“My uncle thinks you need a glass of water,” she whispered and gave you the class… before the so called uncle finally approached you. 

Of course he knew you already. He knew beforehand that someone will try to kill him tonight because he has been attending funerals of his friends lately. But he did expect you. And by the time you and Hendery finally faced each other during new year’s eve in Hongkong, he fell in love with you. 

“It’s amazing how little human beings can have a power to us all” you smiled watching him. 

“Well those human beings can be little monsters too and can really dry up my wallet fast” he joked and sat beside you. 

One last look around to check if you still have any luck for Hendery… but looks like… today, is really not your day. 

For the whole night, you and that stranger talked and talked. Luring you into saying what your heart truly desires. He became your first friend outside your job as a killer, which is basically a sin and you could be punished for this. He made you feel like a normal person. 

At 12am, Hendery was still a no show. So instead, you enjoyed your time for yourself. 

Hendery let you play with his nieces, you two danced and talked and drink until you’re drunk enough to even remember your purpose. And by the end of the night, he bought a suite so you two could talk somewhere quiet. 

But it’s not what happened. It was intimacy in bed… that’s what happened. Good thing you weren’t actually clueless in this game so you get to satisfy him. But what really counted as a memory that night was the way he talked to you about freedom. Like he knows you already, like he’s trap somewhere too… like you. 

“While I was looking at your nieces earlier, I can’t help but think about my own future. Someday I want someone to drain my energy with how they drained ours earlier,” Hendery laughed at that fact, her nieces are all full of energy and you were both really tired playing with them. 

“I want to have a life,” you added. 

“Me too,” he said. 

“Hmm. What troubles you,” you asked while you play with his hair.

“I may look like a prince but I’m swimming in debt, I need to pay up. That’s how I could have a life,” 

It was too much private information in one night, you thought so you stopped asking questions and just lured him to have more sex with you. By the time you pass out sleeping on his chest, he thought…

He could easily kill you with one swift move right now. But no. 

The moment you wake up, he’s gone and left you a note.

You can kill me anytime. Come find me again. - Hendery.

And it was more than a frustration to you. You stare at the note that smelled like garden rose. You were more than angry and mad but you couldn’t let it out because your mind was busy searching for clues from last night… but then again, you remembered what Jaehyun said.

Yes, it was a failed mission. But theres a part of you that was actually happy that it failed. You can’t kill him in front of his family and his loving nieces. It will just plant trauma to them. And you can’t be the one who caused that. 

You came home from a failed mission. Chanyeol was beyond disappointed to you. Again. Not only you failed the mission, but you broke one of the rules. “You befriended an enemy Y/n. How could you kill him in the future now? What will you feel if you heard the news that Taeyong successfully killed your friend? — you also had sex with him. I am out of words…”  "Well, at least it wasn't Jaehyun right?"

It was silent in his office for a slow minute. You knew everything you did was wrong and you have nothing to blame. 

“You’re on schedule for three months, no rest days and no holidays,” 

By the time you and Chanyeol are done talking, Jaehyun was waiting outside. You figured he heard everything. 

“I think this Hendery guy fell in love with you. god y/n you’re so stupid when it comes to shit like this” Jaehyun said, he sounded jealous, of course he was. But even so, he brought you apples because you missed dinner.

“Like what?” you said as you munch the apples he gives you.

“Like when someone is showing you bold signs that they like you” Jaehyun continue to munch the apple. You were quiet because maybe he’s right. 

“I like you. Cant you see it?” 

I’m well aware Jae. But you didn’t say that. You didn’t want to talk about your relationship tonight. You can’t get Hendery out of your head. “Hendery is different-“ is all you said.

Jaehyun scoffed, “Of course you’d say that. What you like him too?” the change of his tone bothers you already. 

“Hendery is different because he opened the Pandora’s box for me. He had nieces, cute nieces Jae. And I spent time with his family that is super sweet,” you tried to explain nicely, but he keeps on pushing you. 

“So you do like him?” theres a part of him that is envy and jealous that Hendery was the one who got to opened that “pandora's box” for you. 

“No Jae. I don’t like him. I only love the things he made me experience that night. To have family, to be able to play with kids, to dream for my own… to dream of my own freedom,” 

And then there it is. 

Jaehyun stopped himself from talking because he knew this conversation could turn into a fight. He also realized, that Hendery showed you different things, a different angle in life that he can’t give you. For now. His father adopted you to be an assassin, and caged you in the world of killings. 

Jaehyun was quiet and all he could do was hug you and calm you down. But you pushed him. Hard. And made him leave.

Thank you so much for reading this work of mine! If you love what you read, please leave something in my inbox and tell me how you feel! CLICK THIS LINK. I hope we can practice, give and take.

Stay tuned for the next part! -B.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

You’re probably sick to death of rap discourse by now but I’m compelled to throw in what (I hope) is a bespoke take: I actually enjoy rap and find it very catchy and lyrical, especially the uptempo stuff. Unfortunately I start trying to sing along to the verses. Unfortunately I am a white woman. You see where I am going with this. Now I only listen to white rappers in public and have to pretend that I’m just sheltered and out of touch when my coworkers talk about music because I’m caught in a hard stop ‘can not reclaim’ situation despite having had the lyrics to Anaconda memorized for ten years now.

Before anyone says I could kidz bop this problem, No I Refuse I Hate Kidz Bop.

The only white person who has successfully evaded this problem is when Olly Alexander covered Call Me By Your Name and pulled off ‘You livin’ the life but baby, you ain’t livin’ right’.

This obviously does not work for many other songs. ‘Real country-ass baby let me play with his rifle’ No.

‘Every time I get mentioned one of y’all bitch-ass babies gets 24 hours of attention’ Horrible.

what the fuck are you talking about just take a second-long pause for the n word like a normal person??? white woman to white woman you are wildly overthinking this. what the fuck do you mean you pretend you're sheltered with your coworkers. why are you creating so many extra layers to your own non-issue.

[farfromstrange]

To my American mutuals.

To those of you who voted Blue and spent the entire election in a state of fear, fearing this would happen, hoping that it wouldn’t, and now feel like their world is falling apart.

To those of you who were hoping the next person in power would be someone determined to protect your rights—your reproductive rights, your rights to love whoever you want, your rights to marry the one you love, your rights to get gender affirming care, your rights to books, your rights to education, your rights to exist, your rights to flee from war to another country (this particular country) without being deported, your human rights.

To those of you who have been fighting and casting their voice not just for your country but the whole world.

I am so sorry.

I know you must be crushed right now. I know it must be terrifying. As a woman, I am thinking of you. I am hoping for you. If any of you need to talk or just scream into the void, or even cry on someone’s virtual shoulder, my inbox is open. If you have anything you want to share on anon, like resources or whatnot and you don’t know how to share or you can’t, share them with me and I will post them here. It’s important that you stick together now. That you don’t give up. I believe in you.

My heart bleeds for you.

And in light of today’s events, I will not be posting anything else today.

(More under the cut.)

For my fellow women: If (or when) the policies proposed by the winning party are put into effect; if a nationwide abortion ban does happen; if you’re a woman in need of life-saving healthcare, I have a very small apartment in a country where abortions are legal up to 12 weeks after a brief consultation—which is available in English if you go to the right place, and longer if something is wrong with either you or the fetus—and I’d offer you shelter and help in any way I can to get you the healthcare you need. I’m aware this is only an option for those with the financial means. For those without, I would suggest you look up planned parenthood and check their resources.

The same goes for other medical procedures (gender affirming care, for example) that might not be possible for you at some point during the next four years. I am here to help in any way I can.

I’m sorry.

- Lisa

[yanderes-galore]

Could you make Yandere Platonic Splinter Vs Yandere Platonic Shredder (TMNT 2012)?

I can try, sure :) Did most of the personality from memory so this is like an overview with how they'd act.

Here's your two dads, lol.

Yandere! Platonic! Splinter vs Yandere! Platonic! Shredder

(TMNT 2012)

Pairing: Platonic - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Violence, Attempted murder, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Forced (Shredder)/Dubious (Splinter) companionship.

Honestly, these two having a rivalry doesn't surprise me.

NEED I REMIND YOU THEY HAVE ALREADY FOUGHT OVER PEOPLE BEFORE?

For example, they fought for the same girl romantically.

Then later on they fight over Karai as a daughter.

I am not surprised if they both fought over you.

Maybe you're a ninja in training and manage to catch the eye of the two.

They may just see themselves as your teachers, but they could also see themselves as a fatherly figure in your life.

Although, they are very different in their approach.

Splinter already has a family so he's already very welcoming.

He treats you similarly to April in terms of training you alongside the turtles.

In fact you'd be lucky if you met him first.

The way you could meet Shredder is most likely through... kidnapping.

It would make more sense if he kidnapped you to get info on Splinter and the turtles.

Although it could've just been the wrong place, wrong time.

Either way, when you're there you manage to intrigue Shredder into sparing you.

Only to be taken back by Splinter and the turtles.

This could serve as your first meeting with Splinter too if you want, where you get involved with the family due to having nowhere else to go.

Both of them would want to train you if they felt an attachment with you.

Splinter is adamant on training you for self-defense.

While Shredder may do it to make you another pawn or weapon at first.

I can see their rivalry being... brutal.

It always has been brutal, even before you came into the picture.

Shredder already wants to kill Splinter.

Meanwhile Splinter has concerned himself with protecting his family.

When the two realize they both have a similar goal, it just gets worse.

Shredder wants to make you fully loyal to the Foot Clan so he can break Splinter.

Splinter focuses on having the turtles (and maybe April + Casey) protect you.

Splinter is much more caring, often showing affection and providing you shelter when you need it.

He just seems like a caring dad or mentor who wants to protect you.

Later on he seems to want to isolate you from your actual family... but right now he has Shredder to deal with.

Meanwhile Shredder is more cruel and intense.

He isn't really affectionate, just ask Karai.

Although he does care for you enough to show distress when others take you out of his sight.

Splinter would not usually kill to keep you in his care, not unless he was cornered.

Shredder on the other hand... would probably kill the entirety of New York if it meant you'd be his loyal apprentice.

As you can see... They are vastly different.

We've even seen them fight countless times in the shows, even times where Shredder brutally wounds Splinter.

Blood will be shed between them countless times before there is any conclusion.

The moment those two come together to fight, you can only hope whatever the outcome is will benefit you.

You no doubt are aware of the tension caused by your presence.

Yet even if you put yourself in isolation, one of them is going to find you.

I can see them both sending others to check in with you.

Shredder has countless soldiers and mutants.

Meanwhile Splinter has the turtles, April, and Casey.

I can also see you being thrown into a loop of constant kidnapping and rescuing... no matter who it is.

They try to convince you who is better, you end up tuning it out.

Frankly, you just want to go home... your REAL home.

While Splinter is more caring, he has his own issues with you being around others.

Shredder is straight up just volatile and cruel to those around you, yet strangely caring with you.

Even the best option here probably isn't healthy either.

You can only hope that some miracle saves you from this conflict.

The two have had tension for years between one another... one just waiting for the other to make a move...

With you thrown into the conflict, it's only a matter of time until things boil over and you're forced to see the fate that awaits you all.

[swordsandarms]

"Why did Rhaegar leave a whole THREE Kingsguards with Lyanna? Why did he leave Jaime, A CHILD, to PROTECT his family? Why wasn't Arthur, a DORNISH man, with Elia?"

These or other individual questions about the Kingsguards during the Rebellion era keep coming up every now and then. Usually, it concerns questioning Rhaegar's motivations, sometimes even Jaime's morality or culpability, as well as the morality of said Kingsguards.

But I was having a conversation with some fans and it comes down to the same issue: no one considers the Targaryen politics at the time, and fragment these circumstances in shallow bits and pieces, naturally, coming down to "there's no good explanation for this!"

Everyone hates that these two Targaryen men have genuine character complexity, especially in rapport with eachother: Rhaegar and Aerys.

Let's go over the Kingsguard at the end of Aerys' reign, and actually consider allegiance and what the mean, and how those would actually easily explain a lot-

Jon Darry, Darry cousin: unclear loyalty, when it comes down to the Aerys-Rhaegar conflict. Darrys are without a doubt Targaryen men, but we don't know if and who they would choose. Darrys are most of all connected with Viserys and Rhaella, who are very sheltered from the rest of the world all the same. Darrys might have been sideline in the Aerys-Rhaegar conflict by such default then, and eventually Jon would be sent to the Trident anyway. But then again, unquestionable loyalty to House Targaryen sounds like a traditionalist approach.

Arthur Dayne: Rhaegar's man without a doubt. His oldest and closest friend.

Oswell Whent: Rhaegar's man. He's with him at the Tower and rumours are his family conspired alongside him to get the Lords at Harrenhal to stage Aerys' usurpation.

Gerold Hightower, Comander: King's (Aerys') man. The scene at the King's doors is often brought up in discussions about the ethics of the KG. But it actually also unveils a key political information within the Aerys-Rhaegar factions. Whether it's a matter of adhering to the status quo only, or personal allegiance to Aerys as well, the message is clear: even when it's between two royals, it's the King he will stand by, no matter what, even when he's not in the right (and if his son tries to usurp him, then technically he is).

Barristan Selmy: Barristan undergoes a character development during the main series in which he finally questions unquestionable allegiance to a King no matter their morality. A past Barristan, however, would then resemble a Ser Gerold, and be in the King's (Aerys) service before anything by virtue of duty. Notably, he would later reflect that Rhaegar did not find him fit to be in his confidence, and these expectations are probably why.

Lewyn Martell: Easily Elia's and Rhaegar's man, and Dornish. Noted as being in his confidence.

Jaime Lannister: One that causes a lot of controversy. A lot of back and forth discussion as to what expectations Rhaegar had of Jaime (and whether Jaime himself fulfilled them). The answer can actually be seen easily by:

1. Looking at it with the awareness that there was a faction divide existed in the KG in between Aerys and Rhaegar, as it was building up to a conflict and hence-

2. Reading their last conversation with that in mind

The day had been windy when he said farewell to Rhaegar, in the yard of the Red Keep. The prince had donned his night-black armor, with the three-headed dragon picked out in rubies on his breastplate. “Your Grace,” Jaime had pleaded, “let Darry stay to guard the king this once, or Ser Barristan. Their cloaks are as white as mine."

Prince Rhaegar shook his head. “My royal sire fears your father more than he does our cousin Robert. He wants you close, so Lord Tywin cannot harm him. I dare not take that crutch away from him at such an hour.”

Jaime’s anger had risen up in his throat. “I am not a crutch. I am a knight of the Kingsguard.”

“Then guard the king,” Ser Jon Darry snapped at him. “When you donned that cloak, you promised to obey.”

Rhaegar had put his hand on Jaime’s shoulder. “When this battle’s done I mean to call a council. Changes will be made. I meant to do it long ago, but … well, it does no good to speak of roads not taken. We shall talk when I return.”

For one, Jaime is the last KG left in King's Landing, and one to be kept close to Aerys himself. And Rhaegar is taking him into his confidence before he leaves - he is pretty much talking treason, hinting at usurpation upon his return.

Why did he leave Jaime, A CHILD, to PROTECT his family?

First of all, he doesn't leave Jaime himself in that post. As seen above, Aerys calls the shots. We know from the Ice and Fire "history book" that he sent Lewyn away from Elia as well for being Dornish (while before he was stationed with her and the kids on Dragonstone in Rhaegar's absence) and he commands Jaime to stay. As it appears, he also sends Darry and Selmy with him (with Selmy being a traditionalist at the time, it may even be to keep an eye on Rhaegar).

Rhaegar doesn't have a choice of whom to ask to look out for Elia and the children, no matter which KG would've been in town. He makes that clear. And as to expectations he has of the only one left and whom he can have a word with, while Jaime is, yes, by all means considered a grown man in their society AND a capable soldier who's well trained and already been in combat, he's not asking for Jaime to stand between his family and an army or anything.

There's not meant to be an army. That's meant to be Rhaegar's job to prevent. He's going out to battle. He's meant to give Robert a honorable single combat, prove himself as strong and fair - unlike the mockery of a "trial by combat" Aerys gave Rickard. Hence prove himself unlike his father first of all, probably give his explanations about Lyanna, and also make it clear he's against Aerys' actions and wanting to give the justice by deposing him.

No, Rhaegar isn't irresponsible, dumping that burden on younger Jaime. He does the responsible thing of taking all that upon himself. What does he expect of Jaime? As read above, he does not put Jaime in the mindset of a fighting machine that's supposed to save his family from anything unrealistic. He puts him in the mindset of someone who would be his man and oppose Aerys when the time comes - he's meant to be the one threat to his family when the chips fall down and he is taking the throne.

Whatever reading Rhaegar did of Jaime, he thought he could say those words to him (that would've been dangerous if he were wrong), that Jaime would have it in him to turn against Aerys (again not some ridiculous expectation - a frail man). And Rhaegar is clearly not dumb. He was right in his perception, wasn't he? (Is this where Jon Snow gets his amazing perceptive skills - "little his eyes do not see").

Why wasn't Arthur, a DORNISH man, with Elia?

Why would he be allowed to? We've already established Aerys calls the shots. And among them there's one KG specifically being sent away because he's Dornish and hence loyal to Elia (and Rhaegar). If Lewyn couldn't be there, why would Arthur?

Why did Rhaegar leave a whole THREE Kingsguards with Lyanna?

That is something I couldn't understand for a long time, too. Not only the specific number, but the fact that clearly Rhaegar can't just do whatever he wants with the Kingsguard. Why was this allowed?

It doesn't make sense until you go back to the Aerys-Rhaegar allegiance divide above. The three are Gerold (most loyal Aerys appears to have) and Arthur and Oswell (most loyal Rhaegar appears to have).

Gerold came from King's Landing to take Rhaegar. Oswell and Arthur would have already been with him. Either-

1. Gerold was sent with the order to stay behind with Lyanna. Aerys already took hold of Elia and the kids to control Dorne (and Rhaegar) and would have her in the hands of his most obedient man, too. Rhaegar cannot let that happen, as he plans to turn against Aerys while he's away. If he can't send Gerold away, he makes the compromise of leaving two of his own. One only would have been uncertain odds, but if Gerold eventually acts up when things unravel, he's outnumbered. Arthur and Oswell can do what they have to do and they are in an isolated location and can lie about it later to protect their honor.

2. Gerold wasn't meant to stay behind. But since Rhaegar is decided to depose Aerys, removing him from Aerys is an opportunity. Aerys/Gerold can be lured with the illusion of having a hold on Lyanna. Rhaegar had to leave someone (trustworthy) with her regardless but compromises his own numbers for the same reasoning above, if it means removing a barrier from between him and Aerys. Aerys would be blindsided in allowing in from that same perspective: Rhaegar is made to leave crucial allies behind.

[moonstruck-writing]

Title: Rooftop Pairing: Hajime Umemiya x reader | Wind Breaker Rating: M CWs: fluff, tooth-rotting fluff, established relationship, suggestive memories and heavy flirting, aged-up Umemiya, canon divergent, AU, teacher!Umemiya, reader-insert, Umemiya calls you "princess" once but there are no gender mentions, second person pov Summary: Umemiya finally has time to spend on his crops, and you accompany him on a summery Sunday morning. Word count: 1k A/N: I never would’ve guessed I’d like Wind Breaker but here I am, obsessed…

A quick sweat drop slides down Umemiya’s temple, but he is too busy weeding to notice. He keeps his crops healthy, but the summer holiday has involved much more work than anticipated. So now that it’s a Sunday and he has finally advanced enough in his tasks, he is taking a much-needed breather on the rooftop.

You are sitting down in the shade, under the same pergola Umemiya built during his high school days. Now that he is a teacher in his alma mater, you can’t help but daydream about the magnificent projects he must be building now, too.

“Babe, come see the peppers!” His voice carries well in the open air, strong and solid, yet cheerful. How does he look when he’s teaching? You walk towards him and wonder if the troublesome teens who seek refuge in Fuurin find shelter in his strict yet loving personality. “We can have some tonight!” The excitement seeps through the wrinkles that are forming around his eyes.

Crouching down next to him, you observe how he harvests the green peppers with the ease that comes with experience. There’s a blinding smile on his slightly tanned face, and suddenly you feel you can exhale more deeply. Maybe Umemiya is right after all. Maybe the answer to finding more joy is all in cultivating your own food.

When he finally puts the basket down, he turns towards you and quickly leans in to peck you on the cheek.

“Ume-sensei, how dare you break the rules like this?” You feign surprise. “You are a model for the students!”

The relaxed smile is almost teasing on his lips, and you can’t tell if he’s amused by your performance, or if he simply enjoyed the surprise kiss. “I couldn’t resist.”

“You’re trying to tell me that, surrounded by all your beautiful and luscious plants, you’re getting distracted by me? Pssh—”

“Always,” he interrupts. “I can’t wait to go home and eat these peppers. And then eat you, too.” You hit his arm before he can think of winking. “What? You know it’s true.”

The glimmer in his eyes tells you he is up to no good, and before you can think about it further, Umemiya moves and sinks his teeth into your exposed shoulder. It’s a light bite and he lets go quickly, but not without caressing your skin with his lips.

“Is this why you were happy I wore a tank top today?” You look at him with half-lidded eyes. He simply shrugs, and the gesture seems to make him look younger. “Get ready for revenge when we get home.”

“You know I love having your marks all over me.” Umemiya’s confident words make memories float in your mind’s eye. His bare torso covered in love bites. That one time you left lipstick stains all over his face and he insisted on not wiping it off until bedtime. How he went as far as teasing you about placing a mirror next to the bed. Recalling that time makes you even more aware of how hot it is on the rooftop. “Do you want a cold treat to freshen you up, princess?” As if he read your mind, he starts walking away into the shade under the pergola.

You follow him and once you’re sat down on one of the cushions, you realise there is a small cooler you’ve never seen before. He opens it and hands you two popsicles.

“Choose the one you prefer. I’ll wrap up quickly.” Before he has even finished the sentence, he runs to finish taking care of his beloved crops and tidy up.

You unwrap one of them and sigh as you feel the ice melting and cooling your tongue. Observing Umemiya’s swift actions, you unwrap the other one when he’s approaching you and hand it to him.

He takes your hand and takes a bite off the popsicle, making some ice break into smaller pieces and fall on your hand.

“You’re making a mess, Ume!” You laugh as you see a watery drop sliding down his chin. “Take the popsicle already.” He obliges, but before you can pull away your hand, he takes it with his free hand and licks off the remaining bits of ice. “You didn’t bring tissues, did you?”

“We don’t need them.” You roll your eyes at the goofy smile he’s giving you.

You finish the treats when a soft breeze starts greeting the greenery. As you get up and face away from him, Umemiya suddenly gets a wicked idea.

“Eep!” You yelp the moment you feel a wet and cold sensation on your exposed nape. Turning around quickly, you see Umemiya licking his lips. “Did you just lick me?”

“My tongue’s still cold, right?” The smile he has plastered all over his face is even bigger than before. You pout and use the popsicle stick to boop him on the nose. He quickly moves his head and bites it, preventing you from hitting him again.

“What’s going on?” You inquire, arching an eyebrow. Umemiya can be playful, but even if it’s the weekend, you’re still at his workplace.

“I told you, didn’t I? You’re always on my mind.”

You quickly turn around to make sure the rooftop is as empty as when you two came in. Then, before Umemiya can react, you place a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“Payback,” you whisper, and giggling, you turn around and start running towards the door. It takes Umemiya a few seconds to process what you just did, seconds in which his mouth opens slightly, and the popsicle stick he had bitten off your hand falls to the floor.

“Payback…?” He mutters, the word activating something inside his brain. Scrambling to pick the stick up the floor, and grabbing the cooler, he starts running after you. “I’ll give you payback!”

Your laughter mixes and dissolves in the summer air, and for a second, his beloved plants shine brighter and healthier than ever.

Comments, tags, reblogs and likes mean a lot and they help me keep writing! Anon feedback is also welcome.

Masterlist | AO3

Please do NOT repost. Reblogging is okay! Characters belong to their rightful owners, the plot and content here belongs to @moonstruck-writing

[merakiui]

Sunday apologist here, I lvoe this man. He is def off the rails but I think a lot of people in the fandom seem to ignore that he is doing what he thinks is morally right to protect others! I think at one point he was a kind person, truly and fully, but life twisted him into who he is now, theres hints at him doing what he does because he thinks only he should have to live with burdens. Anyways yandere sunday def would gaslight you and control you, you're his pretty and weak darling after all <3

I think his philosophy is very fascinating! Contrasted with Robin's, who believes that birds (people) should fly freely no matter what, Sunday wants to protect and shelter others because he knows that they are destined to fall to their deaths. "Not everyone really has a future" is such an interesting perspective considering the entire point of the Dreamscape is to provide a future for its inhabitants, even if it's mostly an idyllic escape from reality. Sunday's philosophy revolves around the concept of a caged bird and that, though it may be weak and unable to protect itself, it can still live if sheltered behind bars.

"I want it to live no matter what." But then that's at the cost of the bird's freedom, as it must now forsake the vastness of the sky in which it rightfully belongs.

I'm rambling, but I also agree that he was probably a sweet person in the beginning. When we learn a little about the inner workings of his mind, it's that flashback with the Charmony Dove. Perhaps his intentions of caging the bird really were inherently pure (as he was much younger then), but as he grows up those intentions will naturally grow alongside him. They just happened to shape themselves into a very crooked ideal, which is why he's so very paranoid and controlling and meticulous. If the Dreamscape is the cage and its inhabitants are all birds, then Sunday is the one who watches over and protects them. Almost like a god (hehe). He's omniscient in the way that he keeps a watchful eye on everyone and everything, and the people put their trust in him and look to him almost reverently (the confessional scene........ WOW), as one might a god.

Perhaps it's an incorrect reading of his character, as I've yet to fully finish Penacony, but these are my current thoughts. :D now onto more deranged thoughts.........

I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. AAAAAAA OTL when hsr was cooking him, they put some sort of drug in him because I am hopelessly addicted. orz don't even get me started on all of the religious references in his character design. I am frothing at the mouth,,,,, he really is so perfect.... he would absolutely gaslight and control you,,, you're like that Charmony Dove in his eyes, feeble and frail, unable to fly without the risk of crashing to your death. He must cage you. It's to keep you safe!!! He just wants you to be happy; he'll take on every single one of your burdens if it means you can live blissfully unaware, forever wrapped in the embrace of a sweet dream.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

congrats on 450!! I've just gotten back into my star wars hyperfixation, tis the season I suppose, and your fics have been LIFE SAVERS and so I am here to congratulate you on an incredibly well earned celebration! and to request:

7. "you're not as bad as everyone says."

28. "maybe there's a universe your there where we're friends."

with either Wolfe or Cody x fem/gender neutral (whichever you prefer)?

Thank you so much and congrats again!!! <3

Awww @hxad-ovxr-hxart that's so sweet. I'm so glad my fics have helped. That makes me so happy, and I hope you'll like the fic. I wrote with Wolffe in mind. Enjoy.

Love oo,

Friends

Warnings: Crashing, angst, death, fluff, comfort, I think that's it. If I miss anything please let me know.

Main Master List   |  Star Wars Fic Roulette

Commander Wolffe was never a man who suffered fools, he didn’t appreciate tardiness, he hated chit chat, and worst of all he hated personal questions. And somehow you managed to do all four on your first day on the Triumphant, which made you public enemy number one in Wolffe’s book. 

Every day you saw him, he simply rolled his eyes and growled each time you passed. 

You tried your best to fix it, but no matter what you did or said, it didn’t make a difference. You gave up after months of constant growls and eye rolls. Now you simply made a point to arrive on time for your shift as a communication specialist. You performed your role to the best of your ability, and did your best to stay out of his way. 

Things were going well, that was until your shuttle crashed, and the two of you were the only survivors. 

“Anything broken?” Wolffe asked after he checked on the two pilots and made his way over to you.

You shook your head, “No. I think …” you tested out each of your limbs, “I think I’m alright” you groaned as you tried to stand.

“Easy. Here,” he held out his hand to help you up, “alright?”

You nodded and followed him out of the crashed gunship, “Hmm… where are we?” You looked around trying to become aware of your surroundings.

“We dropped out of hyperspace somewhere in between, the Triumphant and our destination. Don’t worry they’ll come for us, I sent out a distress beacon.”

“How long do you think we’ll be here?”

“A day or two… maybe a week.” He went into the ship, and grabbed the emergency gear, passing one backpack to you and keeping one himself. 

“Are we going somewhere?”

“To a more defensible position, we don’t wanna be out here in case there’s Separatist droids nearby or in case there are any dangerous animals.”

You nodded and followed him, keeping pace as best you could. It was about three hours later, when you were panting and gasping for breath, “Wait … Commander, please I … I need a break.” You leaned against a boulder. 

“Alright …” Wolffe nodded, “take a break, we can rest for a minute.”

You nodded, thanking him, as you took a break, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, you’re a civilian. You’re not used to this.”

You looked up at him as you regained your breath and took a sip of water, “You know, you’re not as bad as everyone says you are.”

Wolffe, let out a laugh, “And how bad does everyone say I am?”

“That you have a short temper, you don’t suffer fools, you don’t like civilians really…”

He turned to look at you, “Really?” You simply nodded your answer, “I wouldn’t say I don’t like civilians, I’d say … civilians don’t appreciate the sacrifices me and my brothers make.”

“I know” you answered solemnly, “I’ve heard them, when I walk around Coruscant. I’m sorry. It’s not right or fair.”

“My life has never been really fair. But, thank you.”

You stood brushing off your pants, “I’m good, we can continue.”

Wolffe simply nodded as he led the way to a cave that would provide the right shelter, he set up a defensive perimeter, while you started a fire, when you were finished he came and sat beside you nodding at your achievement. 

“Good job, didn’t think civilians knew how to start a fire”

“Well I did take basic survival training, when I first joined the GAR.”

“Impressive.” He took off his helmet and his gloves, keeping the comm alert on high in case the rescue team was trying to get a hold of them.

“Commander” you looked into the fire, lost in thought, “Do you think maybe there's a universe out there where we're friends?”

“I don’t know” Wolffe answered as he kept his own gaze on the fire, “but I can tell you, you gained a friend today.” He smirked as he looked at you, “Listen, I don’t know what I ever did to make you think I hate you, civvie. But I don’t. I am actually impressed by you. It’s not easy joining the GAR to begin with, not as a civilian, certainly not as a woman, but you continue to work harder than everyone else. You’re prompt with your reports and always pleasant with your co-workers. I’ve heard nothing but praise from everyone you work with, and even today, you put up with a lot, with barely a complaint. That’s impressive.”

You tried to hide the smile that wanted to creep on to your face, “Thank you, Commander.”

“Wolffe.”

“I’m sorry?”

“When it’s just us, you can call me Wolffe. After all, we’re friends, right?”

“That’s right … Wolffe.”

He didn’t know why but hearing you say his name, brought a smile to his lips. “Close your eyes and try to sleep” he motioned to the ground, “I’ll keep watch. You’ll be safe.”

You nodded and leaned down against the ground resting your head on the backpack, wrapping the emergency blanket around you to stay warm. “Wolffe, do you think someone got our distress signal?”

“Don’t worry civvie, Plo’buir isn’t about to leave us behind.” He looked after you and smiled, “Just relax, and close your eyes. It’ll be okay.”

You nodded, closing your eyes, “Thank you, Wolffe”

“For?”

“For being my friend,” your voice trailed off as the exhaustion from the crash, the hike, and just the anxiety of the day pulled you under. Soon enough you were snoring. 

Wolffe smiled as he watched you sleep, his heart fluttering as he took in your features. He always wondered why you had kept your distance from him, but to think you thought he hated you, made his heart hurt. It was so far from the truth. However, it was too soon to point that out. Instead, for now, he’d be your friend, and hope that in the future, your friendship could progress to something more. Maybe one day. 

“Goodnight, cyar’ika. Sweet dreams.” He whispered as he put his helmet back on and kept his blaster on his lap, keeping guard, making it his job to protect you. 

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[vicsnook]

Close To You | Scott Miller x Reader

word count: 2381

warnings: Smut, 18+, unprotected p in v

notes: Hey y’all! It’s been awhile since I last posted that is not to say I haven’t seen y’alls love on my other fics and I want to thank you so so much for that 🫶🏼. Here’s a little something with my current fav, pardon any errors, I wanted to post this asap. Please don’t forget to like and reblog!!

My heart is beating a million miles an hour as I will the doors to the shelter to stay shut. Holding on to Scott like my life depends on it (and it does) as the tornado comes closer and closer. “We’ll be okay,” he shouts over the noise but I’ve never been this close to death and that terrifies me.

The doors shake violently and I screw my eyes shut, praying to anyone to spare our lives. Scott’s grip on me seemingly tightens as the tornado comes over the shelter, and then the silence sets in, it’s over.

Daring to open my eyes I look up at my teammate Scott who not only saved my life but the rest of the team’s by pulling us all into the shelter. His grip on me loosened as his blue eyes met mine and a small smile danced on his lips and for once, I allowed myself to feel.

I watched quietly as he went around and checked on everyone then directed us back out. The debris was way less than expected, still my company SUV did not make it out unscathed which meant I’d be riding with Scott for the foreseeable future.

-

The warm water of the motel’s shower was a blessing as I washed away the horrible day. My cheeks heated in guilt as I thought of Scott’s grip on me. Shaking my head, I finished off and went to bed but my dreams weren’t any better.

The knock on the door startled me awake and looking at my phone I noticed it was only 2AM. Slowly I make my way to the door, only allowing myself to let out a breath when I see it’s just Scott on the other side.

“Hey, sorry to wake you but the A/C is out in my room and it’s a million degrees. Can I sleep on your floor?” He asks, scratching the back of his neck. His eyes looking into mine waiting for my answer.

I feel my cheeks heat at the thought of sharing a room with him after the dream he woke me from in which he happened to be on top of me. Nevertheless, I step aside, and let him in, hoping he can’t see right through me.

“Um, Scott, you don’t have to sleep on the floor. The bed is big enough for both us and probably another person.” I say, looking at the floor, not wanting him to see how much I want him to say yes.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” I confirm, sliding onto my side and feeling the other side of the bed dip as he slides in after me. Thoughts are already running wild through my head as he places his arms behind his head and I notice the vein in his muscles popping.

“Well, goodnight!” I exclaim, as he catches me staring and he nods in response. Turning the other way I hope he can’t hear my heart race. Somehow soon after, I drift off to sleep.

-

Waking up the next morning, I’m initially startled as a pair of strong arms is holding me and then last night comes back to mind and it takes everything in me not to bolt up from the bed. Scott’s head is on top of mine and I can feel his muscular chest on my back. His leg is against- and I nearly yelp as I realize that’s not his leg against my ass.

I try to wriggle out from his hold as quietly as I can but fail miserably as he only pulls me closer. All I can hope is he can’t feel how wet I am as his bulge is now seated between my legs. Fuck, fuck, fuck, this has to be a dream.

But I know it’s not and at any moment Scott will wake up and our dynamic will change forever. Slowly, I work up the courage to move again, and this time, his arm moves up and I take the opportunity to get up and practically sprint to the bathroom.

The shower water is not cold enough to wash off the steamy thoughts going through my head as I picture Scott waking up and taking me right then and there. But thankfully I am interrupted by the knock on the bathroom door.

“Hey, thanks for letting me crash. I’m gonna go shower and I’ll see you at the diner.” He says, through the door and I yelp out you’re welcome as I wrap a towel around myself and start to get ready for the day.

-

I look up from my coffee mug as the bell above the door rings and see it’s not Scott coming in but rather his mortal enemy, Tyler Owens. He catches my eye and flashes me one of his knee weakening smiles as he heads my way and takes a seat on the booth across from me.

“Howdy, sugar. Whatcha doing all alone?” Tyler asks, grabbing my mug and taking a sip of my coffee. He’s lucky we’ve been friends since college or else I’d be kicking him in the shins right now.

“Just waiting on the rest of the team.” I reply, “Make yourself scarce before you upset Scott,” I add quickly, not wanting to make things awkward.

“I doubt I could make him upset. After all he was the one sprinting out of your room with a very visible boner this morning,” He replies, chuckling at my very red face. I am so screwed.

“Mind your business,” I hiss, snatching my mug back and downing the rest of my coffee. Tyler shakes his head at me still laughing but for once takes the hint and gets up, heading to the counter to order and speak of the devil, Scott walks in and I feel the air go out of the room.

His serious demeanor is back as he heads to me and I truly hope things are not awkward. He slides into the booth quietly, not making eye contact and I want the ground to open up and swallow me. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable this morning,” he says, barely above a whisper.

“Nothing happened, we’re fine.” I respond, a little too quickly for him to believe me but he offers nothing else and we eat in silence when the food comes.

-

The ride with Scott is silent except for when he asks a question about the radar or I give him directions which doesn’t help my thoughts whatsoever. After picking up the last radar, I notice he’s not heading the right direction back to the motel but given his cold attitude I don’t want to question him. That is until we pull into a hotel that is way nicer than the motel and I shoot him a confused look.

“I figured we deserve to stay somewhere with good working A/C. We can go pick up the bags after I get us some rooms.” He offers, getting out of the SUV before I can reply.

I stay put in the SUV since he didn’t signal me to follow like he does most times and I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault we’re here. If only I hadn’t offered him my bed.

He comes back with a scowl on his face and slams his door shut. His hands gripping the steering wheel so hard, I can see the veins popping in his arms. And he looks so hot. Stop it!

He pulls out of the parking lot and starts back in the direction of the motel when I finally break the silence. “Everything okay?”

“Hotel’s booked up for a conference all weekend. Looks like I’m sleeping with no A/C tonight,” He rants, his hand coming to rest on my thigh as he hits the breaks when Tyler’s truck cuts him off. “God I hate that fucking hillbilly!”

“Scott, you can stay in my room. I’ll take the floor. ” I say, aware that his hand is still resting on my thigh.

“What kind of man do you think I am? We’ll just share the bed. I’m sorry,” He says, “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable again.”

“You didn’t,” I counter. Noticing as he pulls his hand off my thigh.

“Yeah right, you basically sprinted to the bathroom this morning.” He spats, putting the SUV in park and I notice we’re in the motel parking lot.

And suddenly I feel cornered. I can’t tell him the truth, he’ll just reject me and things will be even more awkward, I reason as I pull my door open and feel the breeze, immediately calming me down.

“Can we talk about this inside?” I ask, turning around to face Scott who still hasn’t gotten out of the SUV and he nods. My nerves are going insane as I feel him behind me on the stairs and I swear I feel his breath on my neck as I open my room door.

I take as long as possible to take off my boots and set down my stuff before I turn to face Scott who’s still standing by the door. Here goes nothing.

“I’m sorry that I reacted the way I did this morning. I thought it would make things less awkward if I wasn’t there when you woke up and saw what you were doing.” I say, letting out a shaky breath and looking away from Scott’s piercing blue eyes.

“Y/N, since when is cuddling a crime? I thought, well, I thought that’s what you wanted since you asked me to sleep on the bed.” He said, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair. Continuing when I didn’t offer an answer. “Javi told me you liked me and I just took a chance, I’m sorry if I overstepped your boundaries. I was wrong to assume.”

“You weren’t,” I whisper, looking up at him.

“What?”

“You were right. I do like you. I just didn’t think you felt the same,” I reply, and he shakes his head in disbelief.

“I thought I’d made my feelings obvious this morning.” He replies, walking across the room and lifting my chin up to look at him and I see sincerity in his eyes.

And before I lose the courage, I’m closing the space between us, our lips moving perfectly in sync as we get to explore each other. His hands are traveling up and down my body and I tug on his hair. Please don’t let this be a dream.

He walks us back to the bed, only stopping his kisses to remove his shirt and I take the opportunity to gaze at the man in front of me. But I don’t get to do it for long because his mouth is back on mine and he’s placing me on the bed, carefully climbing on top of me.

“Are you sure about this?” He asks, pulling away and I feel like my heart might explode. “Yes,” I reply breathlessly, reaching for the bottom of my shirt and pulling it off and his mouth is on my neck before my bra reaches the floor.

We slowly strip each other, Scott traces every piece of my bare skin with his hands as the clothes come off and I shake in anticipation. He grunts when I tug at his hair as he kisses my neck.

I run my hands down his abs and it’s way better than any of my fantasies. I palm him through his boxers and he groans in my ear as I slide my hand under the waistband and pull his cock out, and he slides the boxers all the way off.

Slowly I run my hand up and down his length and take pleasure in the way his breath hitches and he closes his eyes. “I need to be inside you, honey” he grunts, stilling my hand and I nod, not trusting my words.

He looks down between us and guides himself to my entrance, slowly pushing in while still giving me time to adjust and I am grateful because he’s way bigger than anyone I’ve ever been with. “Y’okay, sweetheart?” he asks, and I pull his face down, kissing him in response as he bottoms out in me.

The slow pace Scott choses is almost criminal so I still him and immediately he looks at me with worry. “I want to ride you,” I say quietly and his smile lets me know I made the right choice. He tortures me by pulling out slowly but I’m quick to climb on top as soon as he is laying on his back.

His hands rest on my hips as he guides me down his length and I moan in pleasure. I hold on to his muscular shoulders and start to set a pace with him meeting me with rhythmic thrusts in response and it’s not long before I feel myself getting close to falling apart.

The room is filled with our moans and sweet nothings and I can’t help but smile as he pulls me closer to his chest and takes my nipple into his mouth while he pinches the other.

“F-fuck,” I moan and he lets go of my nipple, finding purchase on my neck and I almost lose it as he speeds up his thrusts.

“You feel so good baby,” he groans in my ear and I whine in response as I fall apart and he fucks me through my orgasm. My mind is blank with pleasure and I dig my nails onto his shoulders as I feel his thrusts get sloppier.

And then he comes, and my name has never sounded so beautiful until that moment when he’s uttering it over and over as he kisses everywhere on my face.

-

The warm water is exquisite as Scott scrubs my sore body slowly, trailing small kisses as he goes and I smile leaning onto him. His hands come to rest around my waist and he kisses my neck and my legs feel like jelly. “Take me to bed or lose me forever, Scotty.” I whisper, turning around to face him and he smiles before turning off the water and reaching for a towel. This is going to be a long long night.