#if y'all had any doubt on if I'm an idiot or not here is the proof

[karniss-bg3]

A BG3 Christmas Carol

🎶On the twelfth day of Christmas my True Soul gave to me:

Twelve Karlachs Swinging

Eleven Shovels Swearing

Ten Tadpoles Squirming

Nine Volos Screaming

Eight Scratchs Fetching

Seven Gales a’casting

Six Wylls a'dancing

Five Owlbear Cuuuubs

Four Vamp Bites

Three Netherstones

Two Bhaal Spawns

And a Kar’niss preaching at meeeee! 🎶

[allthelovenina]

can u write smth about levi and seven minutes in heaven?🤭🤭

Hi bestie! Here's your request. I hope y'all enjoy it.

Modern AU! College! Levi x reader

Slightly not sfw I guess?

Excuse my broken English in advance :")

Levi had been done with college parties after the freshman year, yet he found himself in Hange's stupid party.

Hange was a close friend of Levi, the party was supposed to be a "small birthday party" which he assumed there would only be the sophomores. The thing is, Hange already knew Levi had a crush on you for a year and half now and of course, Levi never confessed this but he didn't have to do so for someone as sharp as Hange to understand. Plus, teasing Levi has always been Hange's favorite hobby, so they invited you and your group of friends as well.

There sat on the floor Levi, Hange, Mike, Erwin, Nanaba and Moblit, the Juniors and You, Jean, Mikasa (Levi's gloomy cousin), Eren, Sasha and Connie, the sophomores, playing seven minutes in heaven.

If Levi was doubtful that Hange had it all planned out, the fact that they made him sit infront of y/n during playing game left no place for any doubt. Before he knew it, he was in a dark room with you. Levi was a simple man, he was left in a room alone with you his heartbeat would fasten. Of course, you had no idea how nervous he was so you broke the silence by a question that had always been stuck to your mind.

"Do you hate me, Levi?" You asked.

Levi felt his heart dropped by your question "Huh? Why are you asking such a dumb question?"

You let out a sign "You always look away when I look at you. I remember you would talk to me a lot more at the beggining of my freshman year, but after a while you...cut me off. What happened?"

'Idiot piece of shit, look what you've done'

Levi cursed himself in his mind. In reality he never meant to ghost you or ignore you, he was just scared of his feelings. Afraid that his non platonic, totally romantic affection for you would ruin your friendship. So he ignored his feelings at first and still talked to you for a week after his realisation but then, he saw some dude trying to hit on you which you had no idea of this guy's intentions but that was when Levi decided to go out of touch with you. You clearly had no feelings for him and it hurt him more to see you with another guy when he was just a friend. So he left, he didn't think it would be this long though. He assumed it would take him a few weeks to move on and then he could come back to you again with no romance involved as a friend.

But his anticipation was far from reality. The distance only lead him to crave you more and fall deeper, so he never came back.

But...you sounded so hurt and he hated it. He never thought his avoidance would hurt you.

"That's completely the opposite."

'Quit being a coward, Ackerman.'

"Huh?" You asked in confusion.

"The reason why I cut you off was that I was trying to process my feelings for you and...shut them down I guess."

The little light that entered the room through the small space beneath the door was enough for Levi to see your eyes, wide shut in surprise.

"Are...you saying that you ignored me cause you had a crush on me?"

Thank heavens the room was dark enough for you to see Levi blushing, playing in favor of Levi with the little light exposing your expression to him while as the same time the darkness prevented you from seeing his. "Yeah...I'm sorry never meant to hurt your feelings"

'This idiot.' echoed in your mind.

You grabbed his collar and pulled him close, giving him a kiss on his lips. Oh no one knows how badly you wanted to taste them all this time.

Levi was shocked, but after a second or two, he just let the flow take him wherever. He kissed you back, closed his eyes as his hands found their way to your waist, pulling you even closer. He felt his cheeks burning, the heat was taking his body. It felt like he was a teenager once again. He placed one of his hands on your nape, he ran his hands all over it. Gently massaging your nape.

You pulled back to catch breath. "W...what was...that?" Levi asked.

"You're a fucking idiot...you know that?" You replied as you were still panting.

"I had a crush on you too."

This time, Levi's eyes were wide shut. There were so much he wanted to say right now. He just couldn't find the words. He wanted to tell you more about his feelings, like how he was slightly sad all the time ever since he had cut you off and how badly he wanted to punch anyone who talked shit about you, how many nights he got drunk alone only to find himself starring at your pictures on social media or your contact number, debating whether to call you or not

He didn't say a word, instead pulled you back in his arms and leaned his head to your neck, kissing it passionatly like a thirsty man who just found water. You placed one hand on his shoulder and another through his undercut, then through his sculp, tugging his hair playfully as he found the sensitive spot on your neck which made you moan quietly. "Levi..."

Maybe it was the alchohol in his system or maybe the dopamine in his body that made him so brave and courageous. "You still like me don't you?"

You rolled your eyes as you were trying calm down from his earlier touch. "No shit Scherlock."

"Be mine then, I'll make you happy, I promise."

So blunt, no poetic line. Typical Levi, you didn't expect him to be anything different anyways. What you didn't expect was what he'd just said.

You remained silent, trying to process the whole thing. Never thought the night would turn out like this, in fact you did dream this situation a few times in sleep.

Before you could say anything, the door was opened, the sudden exposure of light hurt your eyes that had already got used to the darkness. Hange let out a loud laughter as they found you two clinging to eachother.

"My, my! Look at you guys!"

You blushed, felt embarrassed as you were cought in 4k. Levi let out an annoyed groan and frowned. "Shut up four eyes!"

#

[omegansamurai]

I hate that these YouTube videos complain and moan about how the Netflix live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender was a 'failure'...I mean, if that was the case, then why had it been renewed for not one, but TWO seasons, huh?

And like...I doubt the Avatar Studios stuff is gonna be anything groundbreaking. I don't even think Avatar Studios' content will be any good. Really, it's like, why is this even a thing? Just leave the franchise alone, Bryke, and just let people who can write and make your story a lot more enjoyable (Netflix's Avatar).

It just reeks of desperation and Bryke trying to be relevant. Avatar is not the next Star Wars, I'm sorry. It's a Nick cartoon that should've been an epic four-season (maybe five seasons, who knows?) show, but it shrunk to three, to make a failed shitty trilogy movie that the first movie bombed at the box office, thanks to the creators 'SUPER WISE' decision of canceling the fourth season because they want that trilogy movie series, and honestly? That itself was a bad idea. Bryke tries too hard to make their product the next Star Wars(which I think they're fans of, which says a lot), and it painfully shows. They try too hard. REALLY hard.

Like with Legend of Korra, they try to be super edgy with their 'story' and 'characters', but they just miss the mark on what made ATLA great. I mean, they don't even care about how the bending looks anymore in Korra. Really, there's a reason why they put the final season online, and it was just a bad show. Don't deny it, everyone. I'm certain it would've been good...but it was executed poorly and made not only a mockery of the characters in that show but the OG characters of ATLA(especially Katara). Well, maybe Zuko is the only one who's doing alright...but that just reeks of sexism doesn't it? Toph is all alone in the Swamp, and Katara is...not who she is...always sad about Aang's death...like get it together girl, you're mother-effin KATARA. Get with it!

And another thing, what more is there to tell? What is the next series even going to be? The Avatars are cut off after Korra, right? So...what now? And if you put the setting in some lame-ass futuristic steampunk or cyberpunk world and have bending in it, then...well, that's not really Avatar, is it? It's just its own thing at this point. And really, I don't want any new characters...I never wanted Korra's characters either if the writing they have for them was that bad.

I just think this whole Avatar Studios is just...again, desperation. Like why not reboot it or just...tell the same story, but with a different setting?

Sorry, lost track.

What I'm trying to say is, is that people act like the Netflix live-action of Avatar: The Last Airbender supposedly 'failed', which isn't the case. Y'all are just butthurt about how your 'perfect show' got 'tainted' by big corporations, and honestly, that's far from it. The people behind this live-action were very committed, and the actors were very respectful of their roles. The BTS looked like everyone was having a good time. And here you have idiots going on about how the live-action sucks because...what, Aang talks too much? No sexism from Sokka? Katara didn't act all rage-filled or whatever? I can get the criticisms, but still, I enjoyed it. I liked it. I want to see more.

It's just that this stupid fandom likes to put down the live-action because the cartoon is supposed to be this or that and it doesn't have this...when honestly, it's its own thing, but it's still Avatar! Let it be its own thing! You got the cartoon, now look at this NEW Avatar: The Last Airbender by Netflix! Look at the way they portray the characters, look at the direction they're going, look how they world-build, just look at it! It's almost like fanfiction, and really, isn't that what Avatar is? Fanfiction? It may be a cartoon show, but it's still fiction. They're not real people. We can do whatever we want with them. We're just borrowing their characters, story, and world.

This whole thing is an adaptation. So it's not your cartoon...but it's still Avatar.

I know I'm just rambling at this point, but I'm just kind of tired of seeing thumbnails on YouTube of people bringing down the live-action Avatar. I genuinely enjoyed it, and yes, while it may have some things to work on, the people behind the show will listen to their criticisms and work on that. But again, I still liked it.

Just know one thing...Bryke would've made the live-action of Avatar a whole lot worse if they were in control. I really do believe that. And as for Avatar Studios...I give it a year before it goes bankrupt. I know that's a little harsh, but I just know that the animated Avatar movie is going to be disappointing. ^^;

[strawberryfairi]

Synopsis✨: The story of how you catch heavy feelings for the hot photography student, Shuji Hanma…even though you already have the perfect (fake) boyfriend.

Pairings: Photography Student! Shuji Hanma X Dance Major! Black Fem 🤎 Reader (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️) Content: Drama, lots of denial, angst, sneaky link, lots of cheating, mutual pining, unserious Shuji, controlling parents, forced relationships, romance, fighting, porn with a good plot vibes, intense sexual tension, etc (just find out the rest lol)

w.c: 5k💠 Released: April 1, 2024

Previous | Next... | Chapters Masterlist

NOTE: Honestly, idk bout this chapter fr, I like it but don't at the same time lol. I was kinda struggling with this chapter buuuuut the tea 🫖 is for sure hot with this one! Hope y'all enjooooy❤︎

C.W: SMUT and HOT TEA! P in V, oral: fem receiving (I think that's it really)

7; Fake Date 约会

Flashback Saturday

A soft knock comes from Ken's dorm suite door, ripping him out of his wild-running thoughts.

"Comin'!" He hollers lazily, setting his alcohol bottle down and making his way out to the front door.

"Emma?" His brow raises confusedly.

"H-hi Ken. Could I come in?" She asks sheepishly, clutching the strap of her tote bag.

💎

"So, you know I'd never go out of my way to start any drama, and I care about you both. You two are my friends." Emma says in a cautious, sincere tone, looking at her hands clasped together nervously in her lap.

The two of them were sat on the edge of Ken's bed, the room slightly messy which was unusual for the guy. "Yeah...?" He raises a brow, starting to become skeptical.

"So...the other day I-....I saw Y/N get into someone's car. A guy's car. And I know that might not sound like anything bad but, I don't know, it just gave me an odd feeling. She had her duffel bag with her and-

"You think she's cheating on me?" Ken cuts in, his tone coming across a bit sharper than he intended.

"No! No I-...I just wanted to maybe warn you...of the possibility?" Her brows furrow, not really sure what exactly she was even trying to say. Emma starts to doubt herself, doubt her reasoning for coming here. So what if she got into another guy's car? Was it really that deep to come and "warn" Ken about?

"The possibility?" He raises a brow.

Emma shakes her head, getting up from the bed and grabbing her tote bag. "I know, I know! Why would I say that? I'm sorry-I'm such an idiot. I shouldn't have come-

"No, it's fine Emma." Ken starts, grabbing her wrist and stopping her in her place. "To be honest I've been suspicious of her for a little while now." He sighs exasperatedly.

"Wait what?!" Emma's brows furrow in a mix of shock and confusion.

"It's not the first time I was told she got in a car with some other guy, and if it were her friend Baji neither of you would'a come to me about it."

"But-...but we don't know for sure if that means-

"You said you had an 'odd feeling', right? Well so do I." He says bitterly.

"That doesn't mean we're right, Ken." Emma assures, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Ken's jaw clenches as he looks to the side in thought.

"Emma...she's not in love with me. I know she's not, and it's becoming more and more clear every single day." He mutters wearily, feeling that harsh tug on his heart that he's been trying to run away from for the past few weeks.

"What?!" She outbursts, brows furrowed in bewilderment. "How could you say that?! You've been together for so long, how could you think-

"It's fake." Ken says plainly, rolling his eyes. Emma pauses, her mind malfunctioning as she tries to process his words. "W-what?" She murmurs, barely above a whisper.

"Our relationship, Emma, it's fake. Our parents are making us be together, and-...she just doesn't love me." He huffs exasperatedly.

Emma's brows furrow in disbelief, shaking her head. "I really don't understand. All this time, it's-..it's never been real? But I've seen you two though, the way you look at her, I know you're in love-

"Yeah, I am. She's the one that's not in love with me." He rolls his eyes. Emma looks up at him with an apologetic, and admittedly still baffled, expression.

"Don't look at me like that. I don't need pity, ok?" Ken grumbles, his tone much lower than before.

"I'm not pitying you, Ken. I'm sympathizing." Emma frowned, placing a hand on his cautiously.

"Lately I just-...I can feel her drifting away. She's slipping from me; right out of my hands, Emma."

"Is that why you've been..doing this more often?" She asks softly, gesturing towards the empty alcohol bottles on his once tidy desk.

Ken sighs, resting his elbows on his knees as he places his head in his hands. "Yeah."

"Ken I-..you know, it may not be my place to say, but this isn't a good outlet. You're an athlete, this'll only cause problems for you in the future. I understand how you're feeling, but don't take it out on your body."

"Nothing else works." He mumbles.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the girl I slowly started to fall in love with doesn't feel the same, Emma! I've tried everything to get my mind off it, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm not good enough for her!" Ken outbursts, looking up at Emma with teary eyes.

"Ken..." Emma trails off, not even sure of what to really say anymore.

"I've been takin' it out on her too, the girl I'm supposed to be in love with, getting pissed at her 'cause she doesn't feel the same. Then to make it worse, I think I might've said something bad to her one time; while I was high. She hasn't looked at me the same ever since. At this point, any chance I had to get her to love me back just went out the window." He shakes his head, tone filled with disappointment.

"I don't know, I just-..I just wanna feel something else. Even for a second." He admits wearily.

The two pause, looking one another in the eyes as the they both inwardly debate the exact same thing.

Emma knows she's always had feelings for Ken, ever since they first met during the universities' one week summer program. But she also knows where she stands with him, where her lane has always been. But in this small moment, all she can think of are his words, ringing all throughout her mind.

I just wanna feel something else....

She understands exactly how Ken feels, as she too is in the same boat. The one she loves is sitting directly in front of her yet feels just out of her reach, too busy sulking over a girl that's never even cared for him the way she does to notice her.

Ken sucks in a breath, suddenly feeling a heavy weight on his shoulders even heavier than what he's already been dealing with. How could he be mad over the thought of his girl possibly cheating when he's debating doing the exact same thing in this very moment. Before Ken can even decide for himself, Emma abruptly leans in, placing her lips desperately onto his. The kiss was only a few seconds long, yet it seemed to drag and linger all at the same time.

Emma pulls away as fast as she leaned in, hovering her hands over her mouth as her eyes widen in horror. "I-oh my god, I'm so sorr-

Ken cuts her off, taking her by the cheek and pulling her into another kiss, deciding that if drinking and using those drugs Cho's friend has been getting him wasn't working, then Emma will do just fine instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Present Tuesday Night Shuji's Place

"Hmmmm." You moan blissfully. Shuji's shower is everything, a whole different type of experience from your little dorm suite shower. First of all it's pretty big since he's so tall, which you were actually expecting, and the water pressure is so much better than yours. Second of all, his soaps smell soooo good.

Once you were done your shower and moisturizing with his lotion you found, you wrapped yourself back up in the black towel and headed out of his room.

Since you came straight to his place from your rehearsal you never got the chance to bring anything to change into, so you'd need something of his.

You spot Shuji over at the kitchen shirtless, his back turned to you as he focuses on whatever dish he's making. It actually smells amazing, much to your genuine surprise. A devious smirk makes its way on your lips, an idea popping into your head. Sneaking over as quietly as possible, you make your way behind him, hoping he wouldn't turn around and ruin your plan. Your grin widens as you finally get right behind him, your hands reaching out for his sides.

"AAH!" You holler, your fingers nipping at his sides as you attempt to scare him.

"Ohhhhh noooo!" He says in a fake terrified tone, turning the fire of the stove off then looking down at you as he chuckles at your disappointed expression. "That was cute." He adds, poking your nose, and only furthering your disappointment in the turn out.

"Bruh..." You deadpan, pouting your bottom lip. He's not one of those jumpy people. "I need some clothes. I don't got nothin'." You state plainly, changing the subject.

"For what? I think you're good just like that, angel." He says seductively, snaking his right arm around your waist and pulling you close. Your heart flutters in your chest, the way his light golden brown eyes look into yours so lustfully makes you feel trapped.

"Hey wait, don't start." You warn.

"Don't start what?" He asks innocently, setting the big spoon he had down and walking you backwards till you were up against the little island area.

"What you're starting right now", You chuckle, placing your hands on his arms, "We're supposed to have dinner first."

"Fuck it, I wanna go straight to dessert." His hands reach under your towel, gripping onto your ass firmly. "Gosh." You look down and to the side completely flustered. "You always make me feel so nervous..." You admit with a shy chuckle, still unable to look at him. He hums in satisfaction, his large hands slowly squeeze and massage your soft cheeks.

"I know, I love it; it turns me on. Now shut your sexy ass up and gimme a kiss." He demands playfully, brushing his lips along your jawline. You let out a small laugh, turning your head and placing your lips onto his. His left hand continues massaging your cheek, while the right slowly drags its way up to wrap around your neck, locking you in place. You gasp against his lips, feeling overwhelmed by the way he forces his tongue into your mouth all while firmly squeezing your throat.

He makes the kiss sloppy and slow, the sound of his tongue ravaging yours filling the space. Shuji pulls away, a thin string of saliva forming between both of your lips. His sensual eyes gaze into yours so intensely your legs involuntarily squeeze shut, trying to create a bit of friction for your needy core, aching for him like he was your source of oxygen. "You don't understand how much that little thing you do turns me on." He rasps sensually.

"What? What'd I do?" You mutter bashfully.

"You know. When you close your legs like that..." He looks down at your thighs then back up, letting out a deep sigh like he was trying to compose himself. "It makes me wanna do every nasty, wild thing I can think of to you." He says lowly, practically moaning as he spoke. You blink a few times completely shook at his words, only able to watch as the hand once around your neck takes the towel off your body, throwing it somewhere random. Then he cups your breasts, gently running his thumbs over your already hardened nipples.

"So here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna make you cum on my tongue, and my fingers...then you're gonna bend over on this counter and cum all over my dick like a good girl, you got me angel?" He states simply, his pretty eyes trapping you in place.

Damn...

You swallow, feeling almost intimidated at how incredibly horny, and dead serious, he is. "Yes." You answer breathlessly, slowly nodding your head. He gives you a satisfied grin, then captures yours lips in another intense kiss.

You've lost track of time, and honestly, your mind has completely fogged up by now. It's not like you haven't gotten head before, but it's never been anything like this, or for such a long time.

Your fingers were laced through Shuji's pretty dark hair, gripping onto the strands and pulling. Heavy, labored breaths mixed with loud, sob-like moans fill the apartment, along with the utterly lewd noises coming from the sloppy and noisy way he eats you out. He's some kind of water deprived, feral man right now, licking and slurping away at your innocent pussy like he's been through the longest drought and you were an oasis of fresh water.

And then, he wraps his moist lips around your throbbing clit, sucking then flicking his tongue over and over. His finger plays with your tight entrance, circling and prodding before easing its way in to his knuckle, knocking the breath from your lungs. "Ooohh!" You cry out loudly, brows furrowing as he instantly adds another, setting the perfect medium pace back and forth. His long fingers, curl deep inside, hitting that perfect spot that nearly knocks the wind out of you. "Aaah, daddy!", You cry out shakily, "Right there!"

He moans lowly in satisfaction, the deep hum reverberating against your clit.

"I'm gonna cum again! Please, please don't stop!" You whine loudly. It was such a contrast of reactions, as you beg for more yet your hands and pads of your feet push against him. His fingers speed up their pace, just enough to make you cum on the spot. Your legs tremble as he works you through your heavy orgasm, slowing down to a stop.

Your body relaxes, puffing out soft, little pants.

"I ever tell you y'look so pretty when you cum?" Shuji asks flirtatiously, running his hands up your thighs and grabbing your hips gently. "Stop." You chuckle shyly, turning your head to the side. He laughs along with you, leaning over you and giving you a surprisingly soft peck on the lips.

"I'm serious, Doll, you make the best faces. It makes me wanna fuck you like this instead..." He murmurs softly, bringing your hips to the edge of the counter and lining himself up with your leaky entrance, sliding inside you easily. The two of you gasp in perfect sync, his large hands gripping your hips tightly as he thrusts to the base, moaning lowly at the feeling of him stretching you out once again.

Instantly he sets a pace, giving you hard and heavy thrusts that make your legs tremble and your eyes roll back in pleasure. "Ughhh, fuck! Oh my god!" You moan loudly, the sound of your creamy, wet pussy reaching up to your ears.

"Right there, baby?" He murmured, hitting your sweet spot again and again.

"Yeeess!" You cry, throwing your head back as you felt yourself speeding towards another intense orgasm. He thrusted into you harder, making your body slightly jerk against the now warm countertop with every movement. Your moans shot up louder and louder, your whole body shaking and squirming under him.

"I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" You whimper shakily over and over, reaching down and gripping his arms tightly.

"Mhm, cum for me." He moans, keeping his fast strokes steady. You arch your back, breasts bouncing violently as you released all over him. He keeps going, not even bothering to slow down as you climax. You're absolutely reeling. "You're so damn wet." He coos, looking down at you with his pretty golden colored eyes. Abruptly, Shuji slows his pace down, slower and deeper, making you feel every single inch. You let out a long, drawn out moan, rocking your hips with his thrusts.

"Fuuuuck, it's so deeeep!" You whine breathlessly as he grinds into you harder with every stroke. You were about to cum all over again that fast. Then he leans over you, his captivating face just inches from yours, and says "Your man can't handle all this, pretty angel. You're too much for him."

Your breath hitches in your throat between moans, your brows creasing into a slight wince. Guilt suddenly washed over you, but not guilt that you were cheating, guilt that with every fiber of your being you felt that Shuji was right. All you could do was moan loudly in agreement, basking at the way his soft lips leave wet kisses against your neck.

"He can't fuck you like this, can he?" He questions, picking up the pace. His hands slide their way up your body, cupping and squeezing your breasts then running his thumbs over your hard nipples. "Uh uhh!" You shake your head weakly, looking up at him with glossy eyes. Those words and his hands squeezing your breasts  were all it took for you to reach that beautiful climax again, the corners of your eyes watering with pleasure-filled tears.

Shuji slows to a stop, letting you ride it out this time, then helps you into a new position, bent over the counter with your hands splayed by either side of your head. He pulls your hips back against him, thrusting inside you, making you cry out "Ahhh!" loudly in pleasure. Your skin colliding with his and the beautiful pants and moans from both of you fill your ears, making you feel almost drunk.

"You feel so good daddyyy." You moan, throwing your ass back to meet with his hard thrusts. Shuji makes what you think might be the sexiest sound you've ever heard, a deep, drawn out moan that echoes in your mind. You had to hear it again, so you keep going, using your hands on the counter to help you. "Fuuuck baby." He groans sensually, loosening his grip around your hips.

"Keep going till you make yourself cum." Shuji instructs, running his hands up your back then down and over your ass, giving your right cheek a little smack. You whimper in response, loving the sting his hand left.

You didn't last very long, and quickly you were reaching another orgasm. It was becoming harder to stay steady, every movement becoming labored and weak. Your body is shaking too much, you couldn't help but slow down. "I-I can't!" You stammer, voice quivering.

"Don't stop." He commands, gripping your hips and setting you back at your original, faster pace. "I caaan't!" You whine, unable to keep up with this pace. You were starting to feel like before, when he made you squirt the first time. It was too overwhelming to control yourself. "'S it too much, angel?" He teases, giving you hard thrusts that made your walls flutter. Loud ah's were all you could respond with, squeezing your eyes closed as your legs flail around.

Then, the tightness in your cord breaks like a dam, squirting all over him as you scream. "So fuckin' sexy." He moans lowly. That was just enough for him to reach his own high, cumming soon after you.

You both pant heavily, slowly coming down from the intensity of climaxing. "We made a mess." Shuji chuckles, leaning over you and kissing the space between your neck and shoulder. You hum weakly in response, still not yet ready to move or stand upright.

40 Mins Later

You were beyond surprised that the two of you weren't knocked out immediately after everything that went down, too tired to really eat, but no. There seemed to be almost a short boost of energy from the both of you. Or at least enough of a boost of energy to want to eat before going to sleep.

He'd given you a red shirt to wear, though really it's a mid thigh length dress on you, but that just made it feel cozier. Tonight he'd made you both chicken curry, using Jasmine rice. It was a surprising meal choice in your opinion. You definitely did not really think of Shuji as the cooking type. Your both sat at the table near the kitchen, one across from the other.

"I can't even lie..." You begin, chuckling a little bit.

"Why do I already know what you're gonna say..?" He narrows his eyes halfheartedly at you.

"I'm surprised you cooked something this nice and like...didn't immediately burn the whole apartment building down. I'm actually impressed!" You full out laugh, his salty expression amusing you.

"I can cook a few things. I'm not livin' off cup noodles every single day." He pouts.

"I'm kinda jealous. My tiny little spot they call a kitchen space doesn't really let me make too many nice meals like I would at home. I wish I had an apartment." You huff, pouting before taking another bite of food.

"The dorms have a kitchen space?!"

"Yeah! They're like literal suites. There's a little living room, kitchen, and my dorm has a bathroom right across from my bedroom."

"You do have an apartment then. It's just a small ass one." He chuckles.

"Yeah, but it's not like-..WAIT SIDEBAR CONVERSATION!" You outburst abruptly.

"I don't even know why this just popped in my head, but bruh, story time. So I'm getting ready for rehearsal tonight, right? I'm at the water fountain fillin' up my bottle and all of a sudden this random ass, quiet ass guy just appeared. He's like stuttering his ass off talkin' bout "h-h-hey there" all weird-..."

You tell him the whole story, trying but failing to remember what that guys name was.

"He asked you on a date?" Shuji raises a brow, letting out a scoff-like laugh.

"He sure did! He was acting like he's seen me before too, which I don't know maybe he has, but I've never seen the dude! It was just the weirdest thing ever, and the way he wasn't trynna let go of my hand...I was like naaah I gotta bounce." You shake your head, laughing a bit along with him. Talking about it like this with Shuji made you feel less uncomfortable about the whole situation.

"What'd he look like?" He asks curiously.

"Not gonna lie, weird. But he had like kinda longish hair, dark eyes; plaid outfit. Really plain." You shrug. "I mean, I just told him I have a boyfriend, which..is true..." You trail off, feeling a little awkward saying that since you were currently living it up with another guy.

There goes the guilt again...

"What's up with you and him anyways?" He asks, his brow slightly raised in curiosity.

"Who? Ken?" You furrow your brows, completely caught off guard by the sudden switch of topics.

"Yeah. You two havin' trouble in paradise or somethin'?"

You go silent, pursing your lips a bit into a frown. "Uuhhh, it's not-..no, we're fine, really. We just argue a lot these days, but that's normal-

"Is it?" He cuts in, raising a brow.

"Well what do you know? You ever have a girlfriend?" You sass.

"No. But I know I wouldn't let my girl slip away over somethin' as dumb as a few arguments. Especially not one like you." His tone is shockingly sincere, looking you dead in the eyes. That last part was so unnecessary, and it bothered you the way it made your heart flutter like a lovestruck middle school girl. You huffed exasperatedly, debating with yourself if it seemed like a good idea to vent your relationship frustrations to the guy you're currently cheating on your "boyfriend" with.

"I'm not slipping away from him. We're fine." You mutter tight lipped, rolling your eyes a bit. "Sooo, what's your definition of slippin' away then doll, 'cause to everyone else that's exactly what you're doin'." He quips with a breathy chuckle. You narrow your eyes at him, getting annoyed at how he keeps backing you into a corner with every response you give him. "Ok..sure, maybe it is. Doesn't mean I don't still care." You throw your hands up.

"How do you care and slip away at the same time?" He asks with a raised brow. "Well-..." You go silent, not really able to think of a good comeback in time, so he takes the chance to go and throw another question your way. "If you don't wanna be with him, why bother to stay?"

You clench your jaw, barefoot tapping against the wooden floor rapidly. Ok, now he's treading into real deep, uncharted waters. What's he even care about any of this for? He doesn't really seem like the deep, emotional conversations type, but clearly that must be wrong.

"I bother to stay because that's what you do when you care for someone-

"No, that's what you do when you feel like you don't have any other options." He cuts in, his tone all matter of fact like he knows better than you or something.

"Ok then, you're right, I don't have any other options! Are you happy now, detective Hanma?! I stay because I have to." You argue, heart pumping a mixture of anxiousness and annoyance. The only people who know about your situation with Ken are your teacher Janette and recently Baji, that's it. It was already risking a lot telling those two but you actually trust them. Hanma though...he's too new. You weren't one hundred percent sure he wouldn't tell, yet at the same time, he hasn't spilled anything about you cheating all this time.

His lips part once again, getting ready to hit you with another personal question. "What's making you feel like-

"Our relationship is fake! It's fake, Shuji! It's why I seem like I never care, and why I seem to never feel all that bad about "cheating" on him. You can't really cheat on someone you're not even actually dating." You rant exasperatedly, resting your chin on your hand with your elbow propped up on the table.

He blinks a few times, looking at you like you just told him the earth is actually in the shape of a cube and not a sphere.

"Our parents...they're the ones making us be together. His dad and my mom to be exact. They want us together because I guess it looks good or something; I really don't even know anymore why they're making us do this. Their reasoning kind of changes the longer this goes on. First it was to keep a good appearance in front of sponsors and the administration, then it was to keep us from getting "distracted" from our goals or whatever. Basically if I break up with Ken, she'll pull me out of the school. I won't be able to dance, and I kinda care more about dancing than I do trynna fight about not wanting to be with Ken." You clarify softly, tone exhausted and slightly ashamed.

"I...wasn't expecting that." He says in shock, his eyes slightly wide as he takes in this new information.

"Yeah. Who would?" You murmur dryly.

"So...would you rather spend time with me or your fake boyfriend?" He raises a brow, a completely inappropriate for the situation type of grin on his face. "Wow." You shake your head, not even a little bit shocked that he'd ask something like that in this exact moment. Not a single "sheesh, that's really tough" or "I'm so sorry you're going through that", nope, his mind went straight for a would you rather question to boost his own head up. Such a guyish response.

"Neither." You respond nonchalantly, leaning back in the dining chair, matching the same smug grin on his face. He pouts, admittedly in a very cute way, placing a hand on his chest.

"Whaaaat?! I'm hurt, angel. I just made you cum like five times;...and made you a nice dinner just as you said." He says.

"Ok, first of all, no you did not actually keep count. Second, sure, for some reason I guess I would rather spend time with you over Ken. But don't get too hype, this could very well be just a little phase." You chuckle, pointing a warning finger at him. "Oh just a little phase? Come sit on my lap and say that again." He challenges with a flirtatious tone. A mischievous grin makes its way across the length of your lips, scooting your chair back from the table a bit.

"Nah I'm good. Why don't you come over here and make me say it again?" Your eyes sparkle with a little excitement as you stand your ground.

The both of you go dead silent, eyes watching each other, waiting for who would break first.

"I'm waiting..." You tilt your head to the side, sassiness dripping off your tongue.

He narrows his eyes halfheartedly, raising from the chair and making his way over to you. You watch in excitement as he rests his hands on either side of your seat, caging you in. Your eyes meet, and a sensual chill goes down your spine. Shuji's lips press onto yours in a dominating kiss, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth. A soft, blissful moan slips passed your lips, your hands cupping his face. Slowly he pulls away, lingering his lips against yours.

"You think you're so cute, huh? Tellin' me what to do." He rasps with a halfhearted glare.

"No, I know I'm cute tellin' you what to do", You chuckle softly, tapping your nose against his, "You like it always."

"Yeah; not really sure why." He grumbles.

Your lips shift into a smug grin. "It's that particular effect I have, you know? I just give off-

"Alright, not too much..." He waves you off, going and taking both of your plates to the sink. You giggle at his reaction, watching him briefly get to washing the dishes.

"Hey so...when are you gonna put those dance courses to use and dance for me?" He asks playfully, yet also fully serious. "Oop?" You laugh, brows furrowed in confusion and amusement at the random and abrupt topic change. "Uhhh, I gotchu after you dance for me. How 'bout that?" You chuckle softly. "Ok...I got a lil somethin'." He grins back at you, doing a very...interesting movement with his shoulders.

"Stop. Immediately stop." You cringe between laughs. He sets the plates on the little dryer rack, dries his hands off, then makes his way back over to you. "Dance with me." He says playfully, taking your hands and pulling you to your feet.

"How do you have all this energy? I thought we were gonna go to sleep now." You whine halfheartedly, nodding towards his bedroom behind you.

"You don't wanna dance with me?" He pouts cutely, pulling you close to him.

"I mean...do you even know how to dance like this?" You raise a knowing brow.

"Well you're the dancer. Teach me." He shrugs.

"Teach?! Uh uh, it's time to go to sleep. How do you all of a sudden wanna do a whole dance lesson?! Like, I know for a fact as soon as your head hits that pillow you're gonna be gone." You shake your head, taking his hand and attempting to lead him to the bedroom. He doesn't budge at all, just standing there still pouting like a baby.

"Ughhhh, ok, you know what? I promise I'll dance with you, but not tonight." You assure softly, giving him the most sincerest expression.

He instantly smiles at your promise, taking you and picking you up in his arms. "You better not forget."

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: Ok but....not Ken and Emma tho. It's giving very much hypocrite with Ken. 🎶I'm not feelin' it, I'm not feelin' it!🎶! (Y'all know that Beyonce song? No? Ok...)

[deadprompts]

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳 𝚂𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙾𝙽 𝟸 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂.

content warning applies. change any pronouns / wording if necessary.

we're not broken.

it's all about slim chances now.

he was trying so hard to be reasonable, but that pushed my buttons even more.

i wish i had something better to say, something more profound.

you chose suicide!

your dad saved my life today.

if i hadn't done what i did, you'd be dead now.

i don't deserve your mercy.

you're a joke is what you are.

that's why i need you.

you think that's the kind of man i am?

this new world is ugly. it's harsh. it's survival of the fittest.

i'm keeping this group together.

you don't know what we've had to go through out there.

i'm down to my last.

i'll control my people, you control yours.

you're nothing but a freak to them.

it's a waste of time all this hoping and praying.

he was a loveless, violent drunk and no good to anybody.

we need to start treating him like an adult.

i can't go back.

why are we running? what are we doing?

if you believe anything, believe that.

are you putting them away?

isn't there anybody else who's gonna stand with me?

this isn't a democracy anymore.

i don't think you can keep them safe.

they're gonna kill all of us.

when i've had a chance to think about it.

he knew things about us, the truth, who we really are.

we're gonna prove him wrong.

i need a night to think it through.

if i'm the kind of man that would gun down his own best friend, what'd you think i do to some guy i don't even like when he starts throwing accusations my way.

dumbass didn't know enough to shoot himself in the head.

you're putting me on the spot.

i couldn't always read him, but he could read us.

i wasn't hurting anyone else.

heaven is just another lie, and if you believe it, you're an idiot.

is that what you want?

you're pretty much dead already.

stop acting like you know the way ahead, like you know the rules.

you got a hell of an infection there.

we've all seen it one time or another.

that's great. now they've got you doubting yourself, huh?

i don't think you can do it.

waste of an arrow.

i killed him.

the right choice is the one that keeps us alive.

i thought we were changing the subject.

no one is going anywhere.

her being out here is my fault.

please. let's just do what's right.

everyone either avoids me or they treat me like i'm crazy.

i would have done that too.

call that payback for laughing about my itchy ass.

i don't believe it.

maybe you people are better off without me.

my hands are clean.

i guess i'm losing hope that you can hear me.

you're just gonna kill him?

a lot of them just disappeared.

if y'all wanna live, if y'all wanna survive, you gotta fight for it!

she's in a better place.

could a living, breathing person, could they walk away from this?

i knew what he was doing, what he was up to.

i know exactly where i am.

you want him? go fetch him yourself.

oh, don't start that shit.

let her be safe, alive and safe.

i'm gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself.

she's so young in her way.

i wasn't there.

maybe this isn't a world for children anymore.

nah, i can shoot. just don't like to.

that life won't be worth a damn.

you missed all that gun training.

i wish you could have the childhood i had, but that's not gonna happen.

i can't profess to understand god's plan.

he pushed me, and i let him.

there are no rules, man. we're lost.

that's a world i don't wanna live in.

don't be too hard on yourself.

is there something wrong with me?

you don't have anything to prove.

it's always the same with you.

not now. just not now!

you see 11 condoms, i see 11 minutes of my life i'm not getting back.

people are gonna die.

i prayed you'd put a stop to it.

my father didn't bother with comforting lies, he used his fist.

the pain doesn't go away, you just make room for it.

i'm not your wife.

maybe i'm fooling myself again.

the world we know is gone.

you knew this whole time?

i didn't lose my mind!

you killed a person.

it could've come in handy now.

your veins are very discolored.

they're laughing at you behind your back.

i was just trying to keep everybody safe.

this guy's tail lights zig zagging all over the road.

you got no idea what i can live with!

shoot me again? you best pray i'm dead.

you could die from blood poisoning.

i guess i haven't quite got that last part down.

let's see how far you get.

if you saw how it is out there, you wouldn't ask.

it ain't like it was before!

please, don't let this be my punishment.

you think god exists?

people in hell want slurpees.

some men do not earn the love of their sons.

why is it still coming?!

what's going on with you?

if i had known the world was ending, i would have brought better books.

it's my call, man.

the other geeks came and ate all the flesh off his legs.

he said this group was broken.

my father was good like that.

i try not to mix it up with the almighty anymore.

the world that we knew is dead.

i didn't ask for this!

would it have made a difference?

we're going back.

how could i have known for sure?

well maybe we oughta just think that through.

i'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through.

i do the christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!

no more kid stuff.

he saw people for who they were.

why don't you go out and find out yourself.

it ain't hard, man.

i wanted him dead.

i want a gun.

that kind of honesty is rare and brave.

i'll have sex with you.

you can't just be the good guy and expect to live.

i ain't nobody's bitch.

i don't know what to say.

this isn't about what we believe anymore.

there's always that chance isn't there?

i think you oughta show some gratitude.

you want to kill me, you're going to have to do better than that wrench.

are you trying to buy my silence with fruit?

i know what kind of man you are.

i'm sorry.

you need to reconsider.

i bet you've had to do some of those same things yourself.

keeping our humanity? that's a choice.

i was not at his deathbed.

he gave me no choice!

she hasn't had a chance.

and you never said anything?

i'm not the good guy anymore.

what you know about what i can live with?

christ promised a resurrection of the dead, i just assumed he had something a little different in mind.

i say there's a place for us, but maybe it's just another pipe dream.

there is nothing easy about taking a man's life no matter how little value it may have.

don't let him kill me.

you act like you don't care.

i just wanted it over.

these things ain't sick!

you don't know shit anymore.

best we can do now is avoid it as long we can, keep one step ahead.

let me ask you something.

i lost my daughter.

you took my choice away, and you expect gratitude?

he was my friend, but he came after me.

that is not your call.

from now on, we're gonna do it his way.

there is no cure.

there is no hope for any of us.

feels like there's a lot of that going around.

we tried to kill each other, man.

we need to move, now.

ain't nobody ever gonna care about you except me.

send me a postcard!

i've been doing that all along, no matter what.

you did this to us!

you saw how he was like.

oh, man. wouldn't that be the way?

go on, there's the door.

your bitch went window shopping.

you're completely in over your head aren't you?

you're gonna kill me in cold blood?

whatever it is, we all carry it.

punish me however you want, but show mercy on her.

get up on your feet, before i'm gonna have to kick your teeth in.

i am sure as hell not your problem.

you've been vague about that night, about what happened.

i'm not your little girl.

i know you. you won't be able to live with this.

there's no way you can ever be ready for it.

what are you, 70?

look at him. hanging up there like a big piñata.

it's a wonder you people have survived this long.

you're a man of god, have some faith.

we're all infected.

you got a girlfriend i don't know about?

they're not people! they're dead!

you people are like a plague!

[plantwithoutplot]

Oh oh for the ask game i’d love to hear you answer 11, 14, and 16!!

Ooooh thank you for the ask!! You've picked interesting ones for sure ゞ(’ꇴ’*)ノ ヾ(*’ꇴ’)ノ” Sorry it took me a while to answer but I really really had to connect those damn 2 braincells I have left 🤣 that and being a working adult sucks

11. Which non-Straw Hat character would you love to see join the crew?

AAAAH THIS 🥲🥲....

My Top 3 would be:

1. Vivi. BECAUSE CMON SHE IS A STRAWHAT AND ALWAYS WILL BE 🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶🩷

2. Yamato!! 🩵🤍🩷 My boy dederves to go on an adventure and he would fit so well with the crew (*´▽`*)❀ He's got just the right amount of Crazy/Braincells to belong with them! Plus, he always wanted to be free, to be able to finally go out and explore the world and discover all of its wonders 😭💙

3. Bonclay 🦢 Honestly he was an icon and we loved him and the crew loved him (the idiotic ones at least) and he would have been a great nakama 😭😭😭

14. If you were to have one of the devil fruits in the series, which one would you have?

Some of yall may not like this answer buuuuut... The Yami Yami No Mi 🤔

We only know the basics of the fruit and yet it already gives its user SO MANY powers, literally and metaphorically speaking? Not only can you copy (steal) another Devil Fruit power, but darkness in itself brings so many possibilities!!

Like, we have seen Blackbeard use it similarly to a black hole (absorbing light/drawing anything close, thus affecting gravity), but what if there is more?

Can you use it to shadow travel? Could you use it like a warp gate/wormhole? Can you still steal another Devil Fruit's power even if it is the opposite of the Yami Yami no Mi? What is the limit of Devil Fruit powers you can steal? Can you use them simultenaously and how much does it tires you out? What would the drawback be? What would be the best combination to come up with????

Sorry for the ramble lmao this fruit just rubs my brain the right way, yknow 🤧🤧

16. If you were to make fake devil fruit, what would you call it and how would it work? And what would happen if it awakened?

OOF THIS IS A TOUGH, TOUGH ONE Σ(　 Д )ﻌﻌﻌﻌ⊙ ⊙

Y'all know I'm a sucker for time travels/loops....... So........ Quite obviously, this is gonna be the theme.

It would be a man-made fruit, like the SMILEs. However, because of its nature and creation process, I doubt it would be a manufactured one. What I mean by that is, while created by people, it couldn't be on as big a scale as Cesar/Doflamingo/Kaidou managed for the SMILEs. Why? Because the processus wouldn't involve any SAD, nor experiements ― but I'll come back to that!

What's the Fake Devil Fruit's power? It will be that of a paramecia! It will however be limited to giving you the power of a Devil Fruit that doesn't already have a power.

What's the take? While you do get a chance at having a Paramecia power (and awaken it like you would any other paramecia)... That shall only be so upon your death. So not only do you have to experience death to get that power (you are brought back to the moment/state you were in as you died), but you only have 1 chance out of 200 for it to work. You cannot know whether or not you've won the Fake Devil Fruit Lottery up until your last breath. For comparison, SMILEs give you 1 chance out of 100 to get a Zoan's power. Plus, since this wouldn't be a manufactured product, it means that there would only be a scarce amount available on a yearly basis.

How is it created? Thanks to the combined powers of two Devil Fruits! Which I have made up but according to Egghead Island that ain't too far-fetched lol By combining the powers of the Reset Reset no Mi (Sorry for the japenglish but I ain't gonna try and translate this), which allows you to reset time back (for a few minutes only, but up to 6 hours if you have awakened it), and the power of the Odd Odd no Mi, which allows you to slightly manipulate the odds of an event (here, the successful creation of a fake Devil Fruit that use the Reset Reset no Mi to give its user a second chance).

How would it be named? Well........ Y'all know me........ I'm a sucker for terrible, terrible puns............

All Hail the Loopsie-Daisy 🍉🍎🍍

[powerofmettatonneo]

Happy Birthday Jason!/An Announcement + Bonus Content

After half a month of no updates on What Measure is a Non-Human, I finally have one! And, since y'all have been dedicated enough to follow my Tumblr, y'all get to be the first ones to know (all one of you currently; hi IYP! Thanks for all the support!).

I've been hard at work writing the story, but not spending as much time editing it as I would like, so I'm currently sitting on two-three chapters. This is because the mental downtime I have at my job gives me a lot of time to think of ideas that I want to immediately write down before I forget them, but the physical time I spend there takes away from the time I can spend editing it. I could hypothetically release them with less editing done on them, but I want to hold myself to a higher standard of what I release into the world and do genuinely enjoy the editing process. However, with that all being said, I have three days off in a row, and I'm going to use this chance to buckle down and try and get them ready for publication by Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, I can't promise anything, but I do have other news that I can make assurances on.

I've decided that Valentine's Day is Jason's birthday. I wanted to give most of the major characters birth months, at least, just for chronological cohesion; I chose this day in particular for Jason because I have personal history with the day that, when combined with the fact that he's the mc of a romance story, made it the perfect day for him. In celebration of his birthday, I have written out a 7k word prequel one-shot all about the confession/first kiss that I will be posting on Valentine's Day, come hell or high water.

I actually wrote a first draft of the first kiss portion all the way back in December, right after the second chapter, and as a bonus for those of you who take the time to find this post, whether now or in the future, I'm going to share it with you. Most of it will be repetitive to the last bit of the finished story, so beware of spoilers I guess (but this is a prequel anyways so like do they even matter), but I have added enough to the final product to make it stand out and above. Really, this is largely just to archive it as I think it's interesting to see how any story evolves over time, much less my own, and I hope y'all feel the same way. See y'all on Valentine's Day, and without further ado, here goes the original first kiss scene (also fair warning, there's still no smut, but it does get more explicit than I've previously allowed it to):

…Hazel reached up and kissed him. Jason entered a state of shock, freezing in place. At first, his mind went completely and totally blank, but that quickly changed into a series of scattered thoughts as his mind tried to reconfigure itself. I'm being kissed. By Hazel. Who is a Pokemon. Oh Arceus, I’m being kissed by a Pokemon—and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever felt. As soon as he returned to coherent thought, however, the kiss ended. Hazel pulled away, and Jason could see that she looked… scared. The look in her eyes was the same that he had when he confessed his feelings to her. It hit him then; the kiss was her idea of a response, and he had just frozen in place like an idiot. He could imagine the doubts and fears rushing through her at his complete lack of a reaction. He also knew exactly how to alleviate them.

Jason narrowed the gap between them and restarted the kiss. He could clearly feel the surprise in his partner and just as clearly feel it melt away as she returned it. Her lips felt velvety against his as they both pushed against each other with all their might. All of the nerves, the adrenaline, the raw energy they were feeling was channeled into the kiss. They fell back onto the bed, Hazel on top, and didn't stop for a second. It felt like they were melting together, becoming one.

Hazel broke from the kiss, and before Jason had a chance to react, she dragged her tongue across his lips. She moved it down, trailing along his chin and neck, resulting in a small moan escaping his mouth. When she arrived at his shirt, she grabbed it with her teeth and began tugging at it.

“S-stop,” Jason gasped, lightly pushing his partner back. Hazel let go of his shirt and stared at him, a look of disappointment in her eyes. It hurt him to see it, but he had read enough ‘romance’ stories to know where this was going.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t do this right now,” he said, trying to let her down gently.

“Umbre,” she whimpered, looking down at her feet. She felt ashamed at herself for pushing so hard so fast and afraid of what her best friend would think of her for it. Or, she did, until the implication of those last two words hit her. She jolted her head back back up and was met with a worried smile on Jason’s face.

“I’m not saying never,” he started, “but I don’t think I’m ready for something like that yet, and I’m pretty sure mom would just straight up kill us if she found out.” Hazel just sighed at that, but even the vague hope of “not never” sent a small shiver up her spine. She laid down on top of him, enjoying his warmth. They sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, simply enjoying each other’s touch in the wake of the roller coaster of emotions they had both just experienced, and soon drifted off to sleep, not caring what tomorrow might bring so long as they had each other.

[Also, one final super extra bonus note: my beta only left one comment on this original draft when I showed it to her, and it was too funny not to mention: on the line "Her lips felt velvety against his", she simply wrote "I refuse to consider the mechanics of this", to which I simply responded "coward".]

[sardonic-sprite]

I'm Back!

Wow, so Lent is over now, so my tumblr fast is also over and I'm still a little in shock, lol. I had hoped the past six weeks? I don't know, Time is weird, would be more productive but at least I got SOME stuff written/posted. Anyway, I have one more month of school and then fucking FINALS so expect sporadic updates at idiot-o-clock hours of the night, and maybe yell at me to sleep, eat, study, or drink water whenever i do post 😅

I am up to SO EFFING MANY wips rn on so many different fronts you guys have no freaking idea 😭 so here's a status report for EVERYTHING on or going on sardonic_sprite. (Its gonna be a monster post, y'all, bear with me)

in absolutely no particular order:

Wayne4Ham: We have a LONG way to go with this one, so just be patient and I'll slowly but steadily plug on through. Aaron Burr, Sir, should theoretically take me no longer than end of april

Wayne-Crazy: there's like 4 specific requests on it, plus a few 'series' i started, but after those, say 6-7, i'll probably mark as complete and only re-open if someone offers me an idea

Batman Beginners: i'll tell y'all up front, this one will take me forever. i don't even know what all I intend to cover, but know that i'm halfway done with the DITF arc, and it'll probably come out in the next two months

Just A Kid: this was my shits-and-giggles fic that got like 3000 notes in a weekend lmao. it's something i do intend to continue bc its so fun and i enjoy the concepts in it, but i don't have plans to actively write more of it in the immediate future.

Rev Wayne: just gave y'all Jason's fic, so the next probably won't come until late in summer, extrapolating from my few data points. if anyone has ideas for timmy's intro, let me know, i'd love some inspiration

Celeb Batwaynes: reported separate from wayne-crazy for reasons. i think theres like 12 specific requests plus 2 ideas of my own. i may put out a poll for the next one to write, but not until after school's out, because these fics are HUGE time-eaters for me. speaking of, are non-tumblr-users able to vote on polls?

Welcome to Gotham U: this was again, me doing shit bc why not. will probably add more in the style that i first posted, but i doubt i will write any prose for it. if you would like to give it a try, please reach out, i'd love to see what you write!

One Diamond: every time i touch this i make the cliffhanger worse lmao. i finally do have a direction, but execution is gonna have to wait a while.

The Young, Innocent, and Righteous: this is mostly just for me anyway, but i'm just gonna say that i'm waiting until i finish watching miraculous season 5 before i go any further

AS you wish: i have 5 more requests to do and i am so sorry to everyone waiting you do not deserve this lmao. i promise im trying, i love your ideas, it just takes me a really long time to fill in the rest and then actually write it. the next one on my list is particularly hard to pin down and so it's halting the ones behind it to. if not before, then after finals i will sit and bang my head on the keyboard until something good comes out

Light Isn't Fadin': soooooo many people have asked me about this one oof. SOMEDAY, i swear. right now its a huge, nebulous, hulking monster and im sorry it's just not happening yet.

A christmas carol: wait until december. please

Father's Day: june.

A Little Problem: over the summer, i will watch marvel movies until they once again hijack my brain and fuel this to completion. maybe.

easter eggs: how the fuck did i forget this lmao. i'm doing as much as i can in april, but when the month is done, i'm sorry, we'll all be waiting until next lenten season. hopefully it won't come to that.

aaaaand i THINK that's finally it. there's also a bunch of random paragraphs in word and google docs that may appear, not to mention ideas that kidnap me in dark alleys. but i also have like a good half dozen other wips for other places that im trying to attend to, so please be forgiving if it seems like its taking a while to post something as sprite.

as always, i love questions, comments, concerns, even some complaints, so feel free to interact.

See ya when I see ya!

sprite

[wasted-wallflower-blog]

Reprieve

I'm still finishing up Chapter Nine for TWtIWY, but I figured I would work on some Omegaverse Stancest trash and see if y'all want some more. I'm back on my bullshit besties.

Stanley looks awful. Dreadful. Terrible. 

Multiple synonyms arise in Ford’s mind, but it doesn’t change the fact that his twin is currently lying in a hospital bed, beaten within an inch of his life, covered in mottled bruises, and far too thin. 

“Stan, you idiot,” Ford breathes. It’s been years - ten long, tortuous years to be precise - and Stan’s living situation must have been far worse than his own. Briefly, he had wondered what Stanley was up to, before pushing that thought down into the depths of his subconscious. God. This is his fault. If only he had listened, if only he hadn’t been so convinced of his superiority that Stan deserved a good punch to the face. If Ford wasn’t such a fucking imbecile, Stan wouldn’t be here. 

He tastes salt. When did he start crying? Ford wipes his face hastily. The beep of the heart monitor goes on, droning in and out along with the sound of Stan’s breathing. 

Stan appears to open his mouth, attempting to get more air into his undoubtedly crushed rib cage. And then, a weak “Stanford?” reaches his ears. 

“I’m here. I’m - Stanley, I’m so sorry -” 

“You came.” Stan’s eyes flutter open, bloodshot sclera doing nothing to hide the deep, rich, awe-filled brown of his irises. 

“Of course I did.” 

““Didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” Stan slurs, the words stumbling over one another. “You’ve grown up.” 

Ford lets out a shaky, almost timid laugh. “It’s been a while. You have as well.” 

“No, I mean,” Stan squints, attempting to move his arm - the one not in the cast -  and says, “you’ve gotten, y’know.” 

“I don’t know, actually.” 

“Pretty.” The word leaves Stan’s lips carelessly. “Prettiest O I’ve ever seen.” 

Ford blinks, stares, and blinks again. What? “Stanley, I think you’re -” 

“Stanford Pines?” 

He turns, facing the doctor that called earlier. Dr. Maheswaran, according to her badge: tall, thin and beta. Utterly professional. “It may be best to discuss your brother’s condition outside.”  

Stan makes a discontented sound, nearly a growl, and the hair on the back of Ford’s neck stands up. This is … not good. Not good at all. 

"I'll be back."

The hallway of the hospital, small and sterile, has a tile on the floor out of place. Ford stares at it, feeling suddenly tired, his earlier manic, desperate energy fading. It powered him through the drive from Gravity Falls to Sacramento, but every energy reserve has to run out sometime.

“He’s stable, much more so than when he first came in. His injuries will take a while to heal, but there’s no internal hemorrhaging or organ failure, and he’s not concussed. However,” Dr. Maheswaran's tone grows serious, “he’s been skipping suppressants. I assume it has to do with lack of coverage by insurance, but he should be taking ten milligrams of AR daily -” 

“AR?” 

“It’s the brand name, but any suppressant will do. Given your twin’s decreased medical access, it’s imperative that he take a form of suppressant, ideally with scent blockers or synthetic hormonal contraceptives.” 

“I don’t understand,” Ford says, helplessly. “I haven’t seen Stanley in ten years. We were estranged. The last time we talked, he hadn’t even presented, and even then, his test results indicated he would be beta.” 

“Stanley is an Alpha. It’s not too uncommon for Alpha presentations to occur later than those of beta and Omegas. You’re an Omega, unbonded and unmated. Stanley has indicated his preference to stay with you during his recovery. Given his age and presumably close proximity to you, pre-Rut symptoms will most likely occur within the next few weeks.”

Ford swallows. It all makes sense. Stan’s sudden displeasure when he left, his immediate detection of Ford’s own status (no doubt due to increased olfactory senses), how, despite his current condition, he’s broad and retained some muscle in his arms. Alpha.

He’s in over his head. 

Dr. Maheswaran regards him, her gaze softening. “This is a lot to take in at once. I … heard the comment he made towards you. If you would prefer to have him stay elsewhere -” 

“No, it’s just,” he feels his cheeks heat, “it’s probably the painkillers. He didn’t mean that.” 

“If you’re certain.” 

“I am. No one would mean that, not with my hands.” Omega and unable to be courted, what an ironic twist of fate, Ford thinks, bitterly. He doesn’t want Stan to say sweet nothings. Not if he’s the only, or rather, only convenient Omega around. 

That settles it. 

“Stanley can stay with me. I assure you, nothing will happen.”

[olokosomolo]

Look I'm going to explain exactly what is the method of gambling. To whom it may concern: gambling as addiction fall way behind the control substance addiction and even way behind pain killers pills (oxycodone 30mg 10 each day) so why do I bothered to tell you that? Its important that at the time I went gambling was ( I'll do it from the last to the beginning) to try to make money to be able to overcome the tight surveillance and monitoring by the gangs people it's not a joke and if rotten carrot will tell you that I'm delusional. Tell the idiot :

•did they guards you rotten carrot?

He will tell you no.

• Do you believe they surveillance Tovi 24/7

As he claimed?

He immediately will say I don't know I wasn't there and I didn't send anyone.

• Nice we are walking so if you would have 24/7 5 years surveillance on you Ricky, do you think you will notice that?

I guess so Ricky will reply.

• So the equation say, if you dare to say to him you delusional, each time he mentions to you, there is no doubt you are deeply involved in that.

Ricky: no I'm not

Ok: STFU.

So after you understand Ricky strategic, you also understand that for the last three years I suffered, and continued suffer from the gangs that took away my privacy, thing that so obvious among Y'all, but not me. Every place I went there was someone to tell inform them about everything. Relationship 😂 I had four relationships in the first year and a half. (End of) 2020-2022 (beginning ) I'm a person that prefers long relationship, and even spending my life with any of those four. Unfortunately they quickly vanished as them the gangs surveillance and monitored me with a girl, they immediately mark her, and when she was by her self, they approach her gave her a business card or number to call and one of the mfs cousins spoken to her and hell know what they told them. Bottom line they vanish too. So I ceased with that too. ( its been over 18 months without any relationship. Its ok I must disabled them before I'll think to have any. So I'll return to the gambling. After you understand that I have no privacy in my life I consider my self to the time been as nothing less then a limbo it's the truth and no matter to the money that he sent me each week ( not a lot, very limited) so regardless of the pennies if i would have kept it without to gamble it was barley would last to three days motel and food. It means that the rest of the weekdays I'll be roaming with out roof and food. So at last the casinos was substitute to the roof and if I lost all my pennies he sent me then I'll manage by taking food that people left next to the machine ( sometimes they forgot the food there sometimes they left it in purpose.bso the casinos was my roof and my way to survive the non stop surveillance. Unfortunately even there the gang managed to kick me from live casino, and Hard Rock casino AC so let's us go further coz here I'm telling after I knew that the game was to scared me only!!! But my dear until I learned it's only acting and all my fear in the first year and a half was only to distract me create my dream business in all cost. So yes even recently mom said to me that few months before coming back to the USA, my oldest son visited and told my father ( NOT TO ME) to tell me that if I'll dare to be back I'll loose all my money. My son is not a fortun teller, but he new the plan and it's shows that he knew. So please when you mention gambling remember that I was addicted to pain killers 30mg pill 10 each day and 2017 was the last time I have ever touched them it's forever. So gambling is a fetus game compared to oxycodone but I'll end it ONLY AFTER THEY CEASED SURVEILLANCE MONITORING ME AND PAY THE PRICE OF WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO ME INCLUDING THIS LAST 3 YEARS I'M DETERMINED MIRE AND Much MORE

While writing this I'm inside my tent 9:13 pm and i see someone passed in the durk, few moments after i feels someone touched the tent rubric. until I zip down and open he was on the other side of the park running low bent ack try hiding. That's a routine daily for so long. I wish no one a day which yours privacy is compromised 😔

buying groceries: hmmm this food and supplies I need for living is 3 dollars… that’s kinda steep. Don’t really wanna do that…

gambling: oooh who’s a hungry slot machine ooh you want another twenty dont you nomnomnomnom

[drewexe]

Fairy Lights

Pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader

Genre: smut, enemies to lovers (if you squint)

Word count: a bit over 7k

Includes: not much of an actual plot, hyunjin and mc trying hard to annoy each other and lowkey simping for each other instead, mc actually kind of being stuck up at times (maybe?), drinking, smoking, a tiny bit of public teasing, mirror kink (kind of?), a tiny bit of degradation and a tiny bit of praise kink, choking, unprotected sex (y'all please do be careful)

Summary: you didn't like hyunjin. you didn't really know hyunjin but he was popular and that annoyed you. in that light, maybe going to his party wasn't your brightest idea; now continues in a pt.2!

Author's note: hello and, if you decided to stop by, thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy your time here ♡

They had told you that the party would be a small one. You had been to a few parties while you were in high school, and even a couple ones in the first few months of your college life. Yet the "small party" that you were attending right now was about three times bigger than any of them had been. But, well, you guessed it was probably smaller than what the people who organized it usually did. And the host was no other than Hwang fucking Hyunjin.

When it came to college heartthrobs, it couldn't get more basic than him. He was popular, he was extremely good-looking, he was interesting to be around. Almost everyone wanted to be in his group or his bed, or both. Obviously, you didn't. You simply didn't understand why everyone would be so obsessed with one specific boy that much - he was a person like any other and it's not even like there weren't other good-looking boys, or girls for that matter, in your college. Yet for some reason, everyone worshipped the ground he stepped on.

Now, the reason you were at this specific party was one of your friends, who had decided that you needed a bit of distraction from your studying (correct) and insisted that this party would be perfect (incorrect). There were too many people for your humble tastes and none of them you knew. Your friend had disappeared into the crowd shortly after you had arrived and you didn't have the energy to look for the traitor.

Third drink for the night in your hand, you could admit the party wasn't that bad. Hyunjin's house was pretty nice - large, with three floors available to the guests and a lot of open space, meaning even though there were a lot of people it wasn't cramped. And what was the best part, the makeshift dancing wasn't even in the house itself. The first floor was about twice as large as the rest of the building so there was a very big open terrasse that served as a dance floor. You had taken a seat at the second-floor balcony, observing the dancing folly below you and sipping on your drink.

"Are you usually the loner type or are you just not enjoying the party?" a voice asked next to you and you turned to look at, of course, none other than Hwang Hyunjin himself, in all of his glory in black pants and a very loose-fitting and very unbuttoned white shirt, hair tied back in a ponytail with a ribbon. You couldn't help the groan that escapes your lips and the roll of your eyes.

"All the people in here that you could bother and you chose me," you said and you could see the friendly smile on his face drop. Good, you thought. You hadn't come to boost his ego.

"I'm sorry but have I done anything to deserve such a response from you?" he asked, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows. "You're not a familiar face so I doubt that I have hooked up with you before."

That statement made you laugh. Not in an amused way, though. In a "how could this idiot be so full of himself" way.

"Luckily for both of us, no you haven't," you said. "Sorry to burst your bubble but not every person in this town is in love with you"

"Perhaps you're gay and I slept with your crush then?" he asked as you raised your glass to your lips and the sheer genuine idiocy of his question made you spit your drink back.

"Are you really that self-absorbed?" you asked in disbelief.

"Are you really dumb enough to be talking this way to the person whose alcohol you're drinking for free?" he retorted and you rolled your eyes.

"My original intention was to never talk to you but look at us now" you almost hissed out. "Now, if you would be so kind, please remove yourself from my sight and go party somewhere with someone who wants you around"

Your words seemed to have the opposite effect, though, as he took the empty seat next to you, leaning back and spreading his legs in the most infuriating way you had ever seen. It was double infuriating because, for some reason, he managed to make it look hot. You chose to ignore that.

"You see, every other person in this building would love to have me around. You seem to be utterly distressed by my existence. So I think I will stay here," he smirked and that infuriated you even more.

So you opted for ignoring him. You returned your eyes to the dancing people and sipped your drink. For a few minutes, it was okay. You pretended he wasn't there. For a few minutes, you were calm. And then little puffs of smoke started floating your way. At first, you ignored them too. But a side glance in his direction, cigarette lit between his fingers and eyes glued on you, was enough to tell you that he was doing it on purpose.

"For fuck's sake, can you go do that somewhere else?" you hissed out as you turned in his direction, tempted to pour the alcohol in your glass over him and his cigarette.

"I already told you, I want to stay here. Plus, this is my house so you don't get to tell me where to smoke." You felt like punching him.

"Some of us are not interested in premature death due to lung cancer, thank you"

You hadn't intended to make this a joke, yet Hyunjin laughed as if what you had said was hilarious. You glared at him. That made him laugh even more.

"Loosen up a bit, maybe?" he suggested, an annoying grin curving his annoyingly pretty lips. "You're at a party and all you're doing is hiding on the balcony on your own with a drink in your hand. Have some fun, that's all I'm saying" The words were accompanied by another puff of smoke in your face.

"I was having fun before you came here and decided to ruin my evening," you scowled. True, you had been here the whole night, but you were enjoying yourself. Who was he to judge you?

"Ah, I see, so you're one of those people who have fun doing very boring things like watching paint dry while sipping on their afternoon tea?" he questioned, tilting his head to the side as if genuinely curious. Another puff in your face.

"Better than being a prick who gets off to thinking everyone loves them and annoying anyone who doesn't," you responded.

"I get it, you don't like enjoying things, makes sense why you dislike me then" Yet another puff in your face.

And you had had enough. You pulled the cigarette from between his fingers and put it in your mouth, taking a long drag. You couldn't help grimacing, yet you managed not to cough as you exhaled the smoke in his face. He was startled, but it only took a second for a shit-eating grin to spread on his face.

"Awww, so you do have the guts to do something more than just talk back," he teased. Instead of replying, you glared at him and took another drag. "What happened to the lung cancer concerns?"

"Death would feel better than hearing more of your bullshit," you rolled your eyes, finishing the cigarette and putting it out in the ashtray next to you. "How do you even get laid with this attitude," you muttered, more to yourself than to him.

"I could give you a demonstration if you'd like," he offered.

"I'd rather choke the life out of you, thank you"

"I don't see how one of those excludes the other, I could be into that" he shrugged and your eyes widened in disbelief. He chuckled at your reaction and leaned closer to you. "Would you like to find out?"

You wanted to slap him. You wanted to wipe the smirk off his pretty face and let him know that no, not everyone wants to sleep with him. But you didn't want to give him the pleasure of knowing he was getting under your skin. So instead you crossed your arms and turned away from him again. You would simply go back to ignoring him and he'd eventually leave.

Hyunjin didn't speak for a while. You weren't sure what's he's doing but you wouldn't check and as long as he wasn't trying to bother you anymore, it was all good. And then he reached over, taking your glass from your hand and downing it at once. You looked at him exasperated and he raised his eyebrows at you.

"You stole my smoke, this is only fair, don't you think?" he had the audacity to ask and you shook your head slightly.

"Maybe if you weren't sitting here annoying me when I made it clear that I don't want your company, I wouldn't have done that," you reminded him and that seemed to make something move in his brain.

"You're right," he said and for a second you had hope. "I shouldn't be sitting here annoying you". Just for a second. "Get up, I wanna annoy you on the dance floor"

You were so shocked at his statement that you couldn't even find words to explain how idiotic that suggestion was. You could only stare at him once again in disbelief. He seemed to take your silence for a sign that you agree as he reached over and grabbed your wrist.

"Are you as dumb as you seem or are you just trying very hard to look like an absolute idiot?" you screeched as you pulled your arm away violently. "Whatever made you think I would like to dance with you?!"

"Relax, will you?" he chuckled, reaching over and taking your wrist again. "Here's a deal, give me one dance and I'll leave you alone"

Logically, you knew better than to play by his rules and give in to his request. But the idea was so tempting: just a few minutes and you'd finally be at peace. So you ended up agreeing. Well, you didn't say it but you stood up and let him drag you back into the house, down the stairs, and then to the open terrasse dance floor.

It was no challenge for him to drag you both to the middle of everything and before you had time to register your surroundings well, he was already feeling the music. You hated to admit it, but he looked gorgeous. It seemed like the music and him were one, his expression changing subtly every second matching the beats, eyes closed as he immersed himself in the song. And you hated, even more, to admit that it was hot.

Then his eyes opened and he looked at you, the smirk that curved his lips telling you that your face was giving out your thoughts. Miraculously, he didn't comment on that. Instead, he pulled you closer, leaning closer to your ear so you would be able to hear him.

"The deal is for you to dance with me, not just sit and stare while I do all the work, princess," you heard his voice from way too close and a shiver ran down your spine despite yourself. Okay, you were already realizing how bad of an idea it was to agree to this.

But you weren't about to chicken out of this, especially since you were pretty sure he wouldn't let you live it down. So instead you let yourself get distracted by the music and dance. This was okay, you could do this. Until you felt his arms wrap around your waist and pull you impossibly close to him.

"Hyunjin-" you choked out, trying to pull away but his grip didn't falter. His eyes were looking down at you with a mischievous glint and you clenched your teeth, forcing yourself to go back to dancing. Feeling a bit awkward, you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers itching to play with his hair. It looked pretty. Would it be soft?

"So since we're here, would you care to enlighten me why you dislike me so much?" he asked suddenly, distracting you from your thoughts. You rolled your eyes, of course he would be stuck on that.

"After tonight, because you're a prick that just can't accept that not everyone is whipped for him and has been bothering me this whole time on purpose," you said, you were pretty sure that was obvious. "Otherwise, I just don't get the hype. Sure, you're attractive and whatever, but how many of the people that worship you actually know anything about you beyond that? All I hear people saying about you is how hot you are. No one really talks about you as a person, and yet you seem to soak it all up"

It was hard getting all that out with how loud the music was blasting yet you were pretty sure Hyunjin had heard you. He looked at you for a long moment, not saying anything. You thought for a second that you had hit a nerve. Yet that annoying grin was back on his face.

"So you think I'm attractive?" he asked teasingly and you rolled your eyes. "You act like you hate me but maybe secretly you actually want me too"

"See, you're disgustingly self-absorbed," you retorted, hitting the back of his head lightly. "I dislike you, period. No dick is good enough to change my mind"

"Bet that if you let me, I can prove you wrong," he said, that infuriating smirk on his lips once again. You still wanted to wipe it off his face. And you still wanted to remind him that not everyone wants to sleep with him.

"The deal was one dance and you leave me alone, Hyunjin," you reminded him. "I don't think fucking me is included in this one dance. And quite frankly, I think we've danced for long enough already"

"I mean, yeah, you can walk away and I won't approach you again,” he said as if making a peace offering. "But think about it. Are you confident that I can't have you screaming my name with pleasure to the point where you forget how much you hate me? If I'm wrong, you get to rub it in my face. If I am right, well you get a good fuck out of it"

You should have walked away. You should have rejected him straight up and left the dance floor and maybe the party as a whole. Yet you couldn't lie, the offer sounded so tempting. You hadn't had the chance to get laid in a while. And as much as you hated that about him, he was attractive enough to make you interested in the idea.

"You don't even know what my name is," you pointed out instead.

"So you can tell me and we can move on to the good part," he grinned and you rolled your eyes.

"Here's what, if you win this one, I'll give it to you," you said, probably the dumbest decision you had made in the past few months as a whole.

It took a second for him to realize that you had agreed and suddenly he turned you around, pressing his chest to your back as his hands took place at your hips. He leaned down, lips trailing down your neck teasingly and a shiver ran down your spine. His hot breath hit your neck and you closed your eyes, leaning your head to the side a little. You felt him smirk against your skin.

"For someone who dislikes me so much, you're already very willing to cooperate," he said against your skin and you groaned in exasperation, earning yourself a soft chuckle from him.

"Shut up, brat" you muttered, probably not nearly loud enough for him to catch it anyway. Yet he didn't say anything more, focusing on kissing all over your neck instead. You felt him bite down and suck and you could help the soft whimper that escaped your lips. Closing your eyes, you let the feeling take over you, heat spreading between your legs.

"You look gorgeous, by the way," you heard him say and you hummed in response, not trusting your voice at the moment. "This dress has been driving me insane since I first saw you. The way it rides up your thighs so easily…"

As if to prove his point, one of his hands moved from your hip to your thigh, gently sliding up and lifting your skirt, fingers teasing the sensitive skin on your inner thigh. You fought against the instinct to squeeze your legs together.

"Not to ruin the mood or something, but I sure hope you're not planning to do it here," you said, mustering up all your strength to sound annoyed and not extremely turned on.

"Don't worry, princess, I don't intend to share the experience with anyone here" he chuckled. "But I still want to have a little fun" Suddenly you felt his fingers press against your core and you bit your lip harshly to hold your moan. "My, for some who supposedly hates me, you're suspiciously wet right now"

Hyunjin started rubbing slow circles against you and whatever comeback you had in mind left you immediately, replaced with the need to have more. You were practically laying back on him at this point, his lips and fingers slowly but steadily working you up impossibily much. You were starting to think of creative ways to beg him to just take you somewhere else and fuck you without actually feeding into his infuriating confidence when he suddenly pulled away from you and you stumbled to keep your balance. You looked at him betrayed and his smirk told you that he knew. It felt like he could see right through all your attempts to hide.

"Endearing, truly endearing," he hummed to himself. Then he took your hand and finally headed inside the house. It took you three floors of stairs, multiple knowing and a few jealous looks to get to where he wanted to take you. "Welcome to my room, princess," he declared.

You took a minute to look around. It was pretty normal, you figured, not sure what you had expected anyway. Books were scattered across his desk, some clothes were thrown over a chair and the bed was unmade.

"Apologies for the mess, I wasn't expecting to be bringing anyone here tonight" he shrugged a bit awkwardly and you waved your hand dismissively, eyes on the wall over his bed.

"You have fairy lights?" you asked, a smirk tugging on your lips and you could swear you saw a soft blush spreading on his cheeks.

"They're pretty," he replied defensively. "Plus, they come in handy at times like this," he added, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as he turned off the main lamp, walking over to turn on the fairy lights instead.

A soft golden glow washed over the room, not bright enough to see every detail but perfect to remind you of what you were here for really. Hyunjin walked up to you again, eyes stuck on your face for a few seconds. You were about to ask why he's looking at you that way when he suddenly reached up, cupping your cheeks and leaning down to kiss you. You were surprised at first but you kissed back as soon as your brain caught up on what was going on.

At first, the kiss started slow and gentle but when he realized you weren't pulling back, he deepened it, a sudden sense of despair in his actions. You reached forward, grabbing onto the unbuttoned collar of his shirt and pulling him closer. His hands dropped from your face to your hips and he started leading you to his bed. Once again, you wrapped your arms around his neck, this time not shying away from pushing fingers in his hair and tugging on it accidentally as you stumbled in his lap. A quiet groan escaped him and you pulled away from his lips chuckling.

"Didn't know it would take you so little to get vocal" you teased and he rolled his eyes, squeezing your ass and pressing you against himself as he rolled his hips up.

That shut you up effectively as you had to fight back against moaning yourself. Yet it wasn't enough to get you distracted so you tugged on his hair harder and watched his face scrunch in pleasure and his eyes flutter closed for a second. Oh, you were enjoying this. And it made you think back to what he had said earlier. Maybe the thing about being into choking wasn't just a joke meant to piss you off after all? You slowly pulled your hand away from his hair and down to the back of his head, carefully moving it to his throat. But before you could try it, he grabbed your wrist and moved your hand away.

"You're getting too comfortable here, princess," he said, his voice suddenly lower and slightly raspy. That confirmed your suspicion. "As far as I remember, this was about me fucking your brains out" As if those words explained anything, he moved you to sit on the bed and instead he himself got off and dropped on his knees between your legs.

"Get comfortable," Hyunjin winked at you with a small smirk. And before you knew it, he was pushing your skirt up and pulling your panties down, discarding them somewhere to the side.

Eyes wide and heart thumping, you watched him get comfortable, fingers gently moving up inner thighs and making shivers run down your spine. His thumb quickly found your clit, running a gentle circle over it and you whimpered out, thighs twitching slightly on instinct. He looked up at you again, a half-smile curving his lips as he leaned down and took a slow lick up your slit.

"Fuck-" you heard yourself say, breath hitching. Your body seemed to be so sensitive to anything he did and it was just not fair. You didn't want to lose so easily.

On the other hand, he looked annoyingly pleased by that. It didn't take much longer for him to get into his task and it didn't take you much longer to simply not be able to hold back soft whimpers and moans. His tongue did miracles between your legs and the louder you got, the more diligent he was. Your hand reached up and tugged the ribbon away from his hair, then your fingers threaded through the now released locks, holding onto him to keep yourself steady. His eyes never left you, carefully observing your every twitch and expression. You felt yourself getting closer, your body gave that way. Until Hyunjin suddenly pulled away and you whined out.

"Do me a favor, love" he said softly, licking his lips slowly as if demonstrating how much he enjoyed the taste of you on them. You wanted to cry at the sight. "Look ahead". You did and your eyes met… your eyes met your own reflection in a mirror right across from you. Despite the dimmed lightning, you could still see the effect he had had on you. You looked back at him quickly, but he shook his head. "I want you to watch yourself as I make you cum. Can you do that for me, princess?" His tone was so soft and soothing, and somehow it just pushed you deeper into the agony of the orgasm that he was currently delaying. You felt yourself nod before your mind even had the chance to process what you're agreeing to and he smiled. "Good girl"

And with those words, he leaned down again, starting off as if he had never stopped. Moaning, you forced yourself to look up ahead, your reflection greeting you. You looked completely fucked out. Your fingers were holding tightly onto his hair and your thighs were twitching every so often. You looked like a complete wreck and, despite feeling like one, now that you could see it, it would be so much harder to pretend like you had not been affected after he was done with you.

Hyunjin's blessed (or cursed) tongue and lips were still working on you, teasing your clit, gently pushing at your hole, the sounds of him licking getting louder as if he was getting messier with it. Soft groans escaped him from time to time, sending vibrations down your core. For a second you wondered if he was enjoying this as much as you were. And then you could see in the reflection one of his hands moving. And then you felt the tips of his fingers pressing against your hole, tongue focusing solely on your clit now.

You saw the way your body shook as one of his fingers pushed inside you slowly. It was getting too much. Feeling all of this was already too much, but watching it was even worse. Your eyes watered from the pleasure and the effort you put into keeping them on the mirror. You couldn't help but close them as your high crashed over you all of a sudden. A loud moan of his name slipped past your lips and you tugged onto his hair harder than you even knew you had the strength to. Your moan slowly turned into a soft whine, then whimpering as he still was licking at your core, although softer and gentler.

You weren't sure how long it was before he pulled away and you could open your eyes again, looking down at him as you tried to catch your breath. Once again, he made a show of licking his lips, reaching up to wipe your wetness off his face with his sleeve. You pulled your hand away from his hair, fingers trembling slightly. Your other hand had been gripping the bed sheets way too tightly as well so you relaxed your hold, clenching and unclenching your fist a few times to try to get back some feeling into them.

"I am going to assume I am doing quite well so far," Hyunjin grinned and you were still too dazed to even think of denying it or talking back. He stood up and leaned down so his face would be in front of you. "Don't worry though, I'm still not done"

"Please tell me I won't have to look in the fucking mirror anymore," you wheezed out, in genuine disbelief that he had made you do that to begin with.

"No, that's fine," he laughed out, amused by your reaction. "You can only look at me from now on"

"Lucky me," you rolled your eyes at his statement, hands reaching down to adjust your skirt a little - you were starting to feel a little too open now that your high was wearing off.

You tried to look around, avoid his eyes, mainly pretend that you're getting bored when your eyes stopped on his crotch. The visible bulge in his pants made you smirk.

"Oh, poor baby boy, look at how worked up you've gotten just from eating me out," you teased, reaching up to squeeze him slightly and you looked up again to meet his eyes. "Did I tug on your hair too harshly? Or was it just the right amount of pain that gets you off?"

The mockery in your voice, of course, was not genuine. You enjoyed having something to hold against him in this game of pushing all of your buttons. And truthfully, you wanted to annoy him the same way he had annoyed you on purpose earlier just to get a reaction.

Then his hand was on your throat, fingertips gently digging into your skin. Your breath hitched and your eyes widened and he tsked quietly, shaking his head.

"I didn't really expect you to be the bratty type," he said, somehow his voice was still soft and gentle as his hold tightened. As he took in your surprise, a smirk curved his lips once again and he leaned closer to your ear. "It's your mistake for assuming that I would only enjoy being on the receiving end of choking, princess"

You whimpered out and he pulled back a bit, concern flashing in his eyes for a second. You felt his grip relax and despite how lightheaded you felt right now, you realized that Hyunjin was probably worried that he might be pushing past where he's allowed. So you took a shallow breath and leaned up slightly, lips brushing his.

"Maybe you could try and see what would happen if you did that while you're fucking me," you suggested, pulling away once again and standing up.

You used the moment to unzip and take off your dress, as well as your bra, doing your best to make at least somewhat of a show out of it. Hyunjin's eyes were fixed on you as you did that and he licked his lips. He seemed to take that as his cue, as he also began undressing. You observed him as his long fingers quickly worked the buttons of his shirt and pants. In the dim light in the room, you could see the lines of his body, the outline of defined abs on his stomach, as well as a little piece of metal that sparkled a little. You raised your eyebrows, not expecting that he'd have a belly button piercing, but really at this point you should have been prepared for anything.

Soon, his pants joined the pile of unneeded clothes as well and you bit your lips at the sight of him almost fully naked in front of you. Walking up to him again, you took the initiative this time and crashed your lips against his, pushing him down on the bed and falling on top of him yourself. Straddling his lap, you rolled your hips down on him and he groaned in your mouth. Your core was still sensitive and the friction from grinding down against the fabric of his underwear made your skin burn. His hands squeezed your ass as he let you lead the kiss for a while.

When you pulled away, he looked up at you. His eyes were deep and there was a feeling in them that overwhelmed you.

"You're beautiful" he whispered, it sounded almost as if he was just thinking out loud, rather than talking to you. One of his hands cupped your cheek again.

"Hyunjin, I appreciate it, but now's maybe not the time," you forced yourself to chuckle. All of this was meant to be strictly sexual, definitely not sappy romantic. Him making your heart flutter with the way he was looking at you was definitely not part of the deal. So you did your best to keep being a brat and annoy him out of whatever soft space he was in. "I won't close my eyes and make an exception if you lose the bet because you were acting whipped for me"

You seemed to have achieved your goal, as he rolled his eyes and his hand left your face. Just for a second, you missed the feeling. But then he turned you both around, pinning you down against the bed as he hovered over you. The softness in his eyes was gone and replaced with something dark. He seemed… Angry? Or maybe upset?

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're just using me to get you off," he said in a low tone, licking his lips. You scoffed in response. "But fine, if you want me to fuck you like a whore, I will."

Before you knew it, two of his fingers were pushing into you and spreading you open. A moan left your lips and your back arched slightly. His fingers pumped in and out of you fast, making your brain malfunction from the sudden shock. Yet another thing you hadn't expected. But you weren't complaining.

"If only you could look at yourself again," he hummed above you and your eyes opened to meet his. "Spread out on my bed, soaking wet and already so fucked out, all for me. You talk back a lot, yet you're so compliant to everything I say or do"

Your toes curled as his fingers pushed deeper into you and your mind registered what he had said. You weren't sure if the heat spreading down your body was from the pleasure that he was making you feel or the embarrassment that flushed over you at his words. It was probably both.

"Hyunjin, please-" your voice came quiet and out of breath, but you couldn't even think about the huge blow your indifferent facade had just taken. You were almost scared that he'd decide to punish you for the way you spoke, yet a smile curved his lips.

"Don't worry, princess, I got you," he said sweetly, leaning down to press a soft peck on your forehead as he pulled his fingers out of you.

Was he bipolar or something, you wondered for a moment. You watched quietly as he quickly discarded the last item of clothing that was still covering his body and your eyes couldn't help but fall on his dick. You had to admit, it wasn't a disappointing sight, hard and already slightly leaking. So you looked up to meet Hyunjin's eyes again and spread your legs a little, a silent invitation for him to ruin you. Apparently, that was more than enough for him as he got back on top of you. You felt the tip of his length brush against your core and a small shiver ran down your spine.

"Are you ready, princess?" he asked gently and you hummed, nodding in confirmation.

And so he slowly started pushing into you. A low moan escapes you as your eyes closed. Above you, you heard him groaning. Once he was fully inside you, you both took a second to get used to the feeling. It overwhelmed you in an amazing way. You loved the feeling of being full. Yet at the same time, you were already craving more. So you opened your eyes again and reached up, wrapping one of your hands around his neck.

"I'm okay, you can move, Jinnie" you assured softly, too late realizing how you had called him. Luckily, he didn't comment, instead, a small smile tugged on the corners of his lips.

And so he did what you had said. At first, he was slow, focused more on long and accentuated rolls of his body, drawing quiet but long moans out of you. Then he started speeding up, his thrusts getting harder and more precise. One of his hands reached up, taking a hold of one of your breasts and squeezing it gently, thumb teasing your nipple and making you squirm under his touch.

Then the hand moved up your chest and settled on your throat. You had forgotten the conversation from earlier and a shock wave rushed through you when you realized what he was doing. He was looking down at you, smirk on his face as his hips kept pushing you down into the bed. For a second you wondered how he looked so steady at a moment like this - you knew for a fact that you were a complete mess, but aside from his heavy breathing and the sweat covering his forehead, he seemed so unbothered.

"I love the necklace," you commented, voice kind of hoarse from moaning, and you smirked back at him with as much confidence as you could at the moment. "Does it come in smaller sizes?"

"Anything for you, my love," he chuckled and you felt his hold tighten around you.

His fingers were pressing into all the right places, making you dizzy and euphoric. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. His thrusts were impossibly hard at this point, making you choke out on screams every time he hit new spots inside you, making you see stars. The skin of your thighs was burning from the harsh hits, your core was burning from the way you were spread out and filled up. Tears started pricking your eyes and you felt them run down your cheeks, accompanied by whispered moans of Hyunjin's name and curses.

Then his movements started getting messier and his hold on your throat relaxed. You looked up at him again, the calm and collected tease from before was now gone. Instead, he was frantic, biting his lips as if to hold whatever sound was caught in his throat. You wanted to hear him, you wanted to know what he sounds like when he's in pleasure. And you wanted to see what he would look like when he cums. So you did your best to push him to it, arms wrapping around his body.

"Fuck, Hyunjin," you allowed yourself to moan out as loud as you could, digging your nails in his back and throwing away all caution and attempts at pretending. "It feels so good! God, you fuck me so well, please, don't stop, I'm so close"

Your voice was strained from the pleasure, your words sounded more like a plea, a desperate cry. Yet it seemed like they were working miracles on him as a whine finally escaped him and his hips stuttered. You were feeding into his ego and you loved it. You loved the way his eyebrows scrunched in concentration, the way his lips parted, taking large gulps of breath, you loved the way he was losing control, groans and occasional moans escaping him more and more often, and the way he fucked into you even harder. You could feel yourself closer and closer to the edge with every second.

Suddenly you felt a warm liquid fill you up and his mouth dropped open as a beautiful sound left him. He looked gorgeous like this, you thought, biting your lips and whimpering. Your nails dug into his skin again as your walls clenched around his dick that was still moving inside you. He quickly brought the hand on your throat down between your legs, fingers moving over your clit with quick and harsh movements as his hips slowed down.

"Come on, princess, come for me," he whispered, leaning down to kiss your neck and somehow, that seemed to be enough to push you over as you reached your climax for the second time tonight.

It was all black for a moment, only interrupted by the fairy lights above your head. You didn't faint, but it felt like your mind was restarting and it took you a minute to get back to the here and now. Hyunjin was still buried inside you, but he had stopped moving and his hand was gently stroking your hair. When he noticed you come back to your senses, he smiled at you and carefully pulled away.

"So how did I do?" he asked, grinning at you.

Instead of replying, you rolled your eyes, tsking loudly. And gave him your name. For a little bit, he wasn't sure what you meant, then realization lightened up in his eyes and he grinned, laying down next to you.

You turned on your side to face him. Though you could feel his semen kind of run down your thigh, so you glanced down.

"Let me go clean up-" you started but he shook his head and took your hands in his, thumbs drawing small circles on your skin.

"I promise, I will personally help you wash up later, just stay with me like this for a little, okay?" he asked, sounding almost childish. Obviously, you couldn't say no.

Hyunjin's arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer, your head resting against his chest. He pressed his lips in a gentle kiss on your forehead and you hummed softly. This was nice. This was very nice.

"Is this the part where you tell me your dumb friends dared you to seduce me or something and that's why you were interested in me to begin with?" you asked once he pulled away and Hyunjin raised his eyebrows.

"You read way too much fanfiction" he retorted, a teasing smirk curving his lips. "There's no bet. Just someone who didn't look at me like I am some god gracing humanity with my existence"

"I'm pretty sure you seemed like you're very much into people doing that," you pointed out and for the first time, you saw his expression go serious.

"When I approached you at first, I simply had the intention to make sure you're okay, princess," he said, his voice soft and you couldn't help but look at him in surprise. "I didn't know who you were but you looked lonely so I wanted to check if everything is alright. Yet you were so insistent on letting me know how much you dislike me. If I had told you that I don't really enjoy having the whole campus objectify me, would you have listened?"

You had to admit that he had a point. Maybe you had judged him too quickly.

"Yeah, I am used to people acting like I'm a blessing sent from above and, well, I do sometimes make use of that. And I guess that does mean I'm a bit of an asshole-"

"Glad we're on the same page already," you hummed and he rolled his eyes, yet chuckled quietly.

"You remember what you said back then? No one really talks about me like I'm an actual person. I kept bothering you, because I liked seeing a genuine reaction, instead of someone trying to please me"

You looked at him silently for a long moment. Thinking about it, maybe it did really make sense. You had been the first one to bite anyways. You opened your mouth to apologize to him for judging him without knowing him really, but he spoke up again before you could.

"I have another bet for you if you're interested?" You hummed, waiting for him to say more. "Bet that if you go out with me, I can convince you that I'm not just the asshole you think?"

"If you lose, would you cut off your hair?" you asked, a playful smile curving your lips.

"And if I win, can I keep dating you?" he asked back, grinning, a soft genuine smile.

You knew you had already lost. But it didn't sound like a bad thing anymore. So you grinned back and stretched out your arm.

"Seems like we have a deal, pretty boy".

[softguarnere]

never really done a ship request before, so bear with me. we're branching out into the unknown here. (i'd say new year new me but it's not a new year for me, i've just elected to go hogwild.)

let's get into it i guess.

i'm Very Short. my god, it's an actual injustice, and if there's a god, when i die we are going to have Words. i think i'm even shorter than perco, which, Yikes.

i've got pretty broad shoulders and despite being Tiny i'm weirdly strong. (i was volunteering the other week and lifted So Many crates, freaking out everyone in the process. i guess i look like i have the strength and fortitude of flat stanley.)

i guess i'm conventionally attractive? i personally think i look like an idiot, but apparently i'm somewhere between a golden age hollywood actor and a small woodland creature. don't ask me how this works, because i don't understand it myself. (the woodland creature looks are definitely there though, my parents used to call me bambi as a kid because i was clumsy and had big brown eyes.)

in any case, people have allegedly flirted with me, so that's something. i say allegedly because i thought they were just being nice, and i doubt anyone would flirt with me. if they are, one: they're crazy, and two: i'm certainly not going to pick up on it.

personality wise, i think short man syndrome is stupid but i am absolutely filled with rage. or, as politely put on report cards in school, i'm very "passionate." it did not take me long to find out that by passionate they meant "mildly annoying and weirdly opinionated." *sigh*

(that being said, having passion about a subject/knowing what they're doing is by far the hottest trait in a person. i once made out with someone because they went on a ten minute rant about the psychology of a campbell's soup ad.)

despite the inner rage, i am almost always the calmest in the group. (i am large, i contain multitudes, etc. also, repression!) i'm very much a parent friend. i Always carry bandaids, cough drops, neosporin, ibuprofen, hand sanitizer, and a tiny screwdriver. it never hurts to be prepared, and someone always needs something. also, i feel like it shows that i care. i'm big on keeping snacks and extra food in case friends are over (and i keep note of who likes what)

i hate pretentious people, but i also hate ignorant people and any version of anti-intellectualism. i find it completely impossible to date anyone who isn't at least a little smart (book smart, street smart, smart in terms of creativity, it doesn't matter, i just need proof you've got a brain).

never really found that liking the same things is conducive to a good relationship. my mom's always said that having a good relationship isn't about liking the same things, but about hating the same things, and by god is she right.

hope i did this right! you're absolutely fantastic, keep up the good work :-)

Anon, your vibes are immaculate, and I honestly had a very hard time deciding who to ship you with. Every time I started to write this, I would change my mind about who I was going to pair you with, and I really really hope that this turned out okay 😅And thank you so much for the compliment 🥰

I ship you with . . .

Joe Toye!

Listen, it's gotta come down to the passion for me. Y'all probably initially hit it off during basic while complaining about something that Sobel did. He just feels angry, but he sees that you're able to articulate the things he also feels into coherent opinions and he's like "whoa, who is this?" Meanwhile you see his fire and think the same thing. You start talking and recognize something in the other that's similar to something in yourself and boom! The rest is history (Literally the embodiment of that Wuthering Heights quote that's like, "Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same" imo)

When he first takes an interest in you, he probably thinks that he's got to watch out for you because of your size. But after watching you during PT and seeing how strong you are he's like "damn, maybe I'm the one who needs someone to watch out for me" lol

Don't worry about not picking up on him flirting with you at first. He's so direct, he probably just tells you that he's into you the second he figures it out, because why wait and beat around the bush and make it all confusing like everyone else does? There's a war going on, no one's got that kind of time

He knows that you like smart people, which he assumes means book smart. That makes him kind of insecure since he didn't finish high school. But when he finds out that you like street smarts . . . oh boy. Is he ever gonna show that off for you, especially when he's had a few drinks and is a little more confident than usual

Even if you're both super passionate about the same things, he still just feels really calm around you. At some point he realizes that you sometimes repress your emotions, and he learns to set his own aside and assume the Dad Friend™️ position for a second so that you can let loose. Instead of "hold my beer" he's just like "GO WILD BABE! EXPRESS YOURSELF!!"

You always seem to have what everyone needs, but what do you need? He is an acts of service man, so Joe would make it a point of figuring out the things that you like and making sure that he has them on hand so that you can also enjoy yourself when you guys are out with friends. He wants you to know that you're also cared for, and what better way to show you that he cares than by doing it the same way that you do for other people?

If you're into physical touch, sometimes he just holds you, especially if you're feeling angry and want to calm down. Which is great, because who wouldn't want to be held by Joe Toye? Jealous of you ;)

Anon, I really hope I did ya justice. Thanks for the request, and I hope you like this 💕🕊️

[annbourbon]

I was doubting wether to post this or not cause I don't want drama 💀 but tbh I'm a bit too pissed because they're making it a thing. Like you just said, we don't care. And the whole thing just makes me realize how deeply ingrained it's this hate for everyone else. So I'm pissed, also terrified because it feels like some people try to resucitate the nazi movement and are just ready to say whatever it comes to their minds. I actually have heard unfortunate comments about it and I want to believe it's because they don't even know and just repeat what others are saying but also some of the people who criticize her for being jewish, knowingly... when we mexicans have history of taking refugees. And aiding people from all the world.

Let me start this rant:

♡ Russian famine (1921-1922)

♡ WW2 refugees

♡ SWasian immigrants

♡ COVID (we did not close docks to cruise ships infected with Corona)

♡ We also have sent help to Haiti, Cuba and many more but honestly we don't care too much about who else because if you need help, we help. That's it.

♡ Gaza vs Israel + Ukraine vs Russia (We cannot intervene because our country has a policy of Non-Interventionism. That we do actually follow. That doesn't mean we condone this behavior from any side. But whoever wants or feel the need to come here because of the situation it's and will always be welcomed.)

*Although idiots are everywhere and some might say hurtful things, generally speaking our country is very tolerant.

♡ We're also providing healthcare to whoever needs it even if they're not mexicans. And yes, that includes abortion. And any other kind of surgery.

So can y'all please~? Because if you're surprised by that in XXI century, like yeah we have a woman, who is president, and jewish then let me tell you that we also had a black president in 1823 named Vicente Guerrero.

And we sucessfully abolished slavery in 1837. Although the practice was around 1829. Way long before US. (What's that? around 34 years? 40? before Lincoln)

Also, random but we have 291 languages.. Our culture is really diverse. 👀

I love the United States. Here in Mexico we actually love you very much and we consider y'all as allies and friends. I grew up in middle of an american community here in Mexico so I was mostly raised the American Way and I don't know much about my own culture but still, and I'm saying this as kindly as possible: Not everything is about US. or Europe.

There's actually a saying here in Mexico that many people still follow today: "A nadie se le niega un vaso de agua" (No one is or should be denied from a glass of water) so in our culture you could be whatever religion, band, gang, army, country, etc., like we might not be friends. We might hate each other. But whenever you're in need, we help. That pretty much sums us as Mexicans. And maybe this is also why we most definitely don't get why you're so crazy about that. We're already mixed. We're a HUGE melting pot. And we're all family.

Thanks.

Can USAmericans be normal about Jews FOR FIVE SECONDS?

So, for those not in the know, climate scientist and Nobel laureate, Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo just won the Mexican presidency by a landslide, becoming the first woman president of Mexico (Her term doesn’t start until October, but whatever), and also apparently the first Jewish president of Mexico.

Her Jewishness is not noteworthy because Mexicans really don’t care about Jewishness unless they’re a particularly Antisemitic individual. You will not hear people talk about someone’s Jewishness as of its something that important to a person’s character the same way you’d hear people talk about Jews in the US. We literally couldn’t care less, Mexico is home to thousands of WWII Refugees from different background and thousands of SWAsian immigrants, people literally could not tell you who’s a Jew or not and probably don’t care either way. I only learned Sheinbaum was a Secular Jew via US and UK news, Mexican news did not consider it a relevant thing to report on.

So, while looking for English language news about her election to see what they think about her up north I came across swathes of antisemitic comments. I saw people using a menagerie of dog whistles, “Jews are a rich secret elite” kind of comments, comments saying things along the lines of “Hmmm… Sheinbaum definitely sounds like a traditional Mexican surnames” and comments calling her a Zionist, despite her criticism of Israel’s crimes and the fact her government will join South Africa on its genocide lawsuit against Israel.

I just ask, why?

Why can’t USAmericans be normal about Jews?

Mexicans literally do not care

Who is this benefiting?

Sorry for the rant, I’m just deeply frustrated about this and needed to put it to words.

[just-pineapple-responses]

Just curious, how many shower thought (response) blogs are there? I just dived into this side of tumblr (not gonna make any posts its fun to read though) and I'm already losing my mind

Well there is

The. Literal. Sun.

Plasma...

S p a c e

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT

The void. It shall consume ALL.

A typewriter incase anyone wants to write their will before they die

Also some ink, not related to the typewriter

Also some words, I wonder who'll use them

A hat with no maker and a maker with no hat

The pen is mightier than the sword. It just so happens that this one is evil. Luckily I can summon multiple

Anyone order some coffee?

Ooo, an author

The literal embodiment if of fanart

A fork, nom noms

B҉ r҉ o҉ k҉ e҉ n҉ 

Soap

Soap(for hair)

Toothpaste

🄵🄰🅄🄲🄴🅃

Towel

Bath mat

Washcloth

Bathtub

Bathwater

𝔹𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕓𝕠𝕞𝕓

Bubblebath!

One (1) bath boi

Some M͓̽o͓̽l͓̽d͓̽ (anybody got some strong disinfectant?)

Nvm, the mold has already caused a plague (gettit?) (although user misspelled it)

Nevermind, there's already a parasite here

Mirror

Door!!!

Some curtains

A denim jacket

Blackout

Rainbow

✨ Magic ✨

*Tree poses to assert dominance*

Coconut

(obviously me)

I think popeye dropped a tin of spinch and it became sentient?

Tost

Hummus. dip tost?

Criss Cross applesauce

Wibbly wobbly Wibbly wobbly jellyo

Mmmm océan s o u p

Some poison, a great addition for my soup

Smol bean

Potat

Shower magpie who I haven't seen in a while

Bird (brain)

Frog(×2:Electric Boogaloo)

An axolotl!

Ferret

*looks at smudged writing on hand. Squints. * a raccoon

Stinky bastard man (I just had to put the two next to each other)

Rat.

Becometh crab 🦀 (x2: Electric Boogaloo)

Nya~

Edgy Nya~

Tripod of dog

Brain

Nina i found one of your neurons (if you understand this reference, good job you)

A rotted brain, keep it away before it infects us all, I only have 2 braincells left

Did... Did someone drop their spinal cord?

The almighty binch

The titanic

Narrator

Water based introspection

Existential crisis

Dumbass

Also a pacifier (get it because they're also called dummies and their name is dummy)

A foolish thought to say a sorry sight join the shower community (as you can tell we did Shakespeare in English so many times i pretty much can recite everything lady macbeth said)

ADHD

Ominous

Anonymous

Anxious 🥺👉👈

Some edgy bastard

A person of culture I see (although obsessed with tweed for some reason)

1 Dapper boi

Sarcastic

nice

All smiles and sunshine

HAPPY! (why isn't there yellow 😔)

Affection (Derogatory) (I'm sorry I just felt like it)

~Petty~

Idiot

Disaster

Chaos and Order

Comebacks

'vanishing'

Defences

Threatened

Op is on drugs

All the F s

And F-general

Get out of the shower

Shower responses

Dry

The horny and the simp

Shower sins

Thower shoughts

I take quick showers

Shower thots

Last responder *countdown music*

You have shower thoughts?

Your shower thoughts are stupid

Wtf shower thoughts

Another shower responder

MORE

Just shower responses... responses

Response shower

NO SHOWER! only thought (×3)

Mmm, showery

Penny for your thoughts?

Hello darkness my old friend...

Llawyer

Beepbeep

Prussia

Haywire!!!

furry OwO

A Pigeon got in through the door, who left it open?

I'm feeling devious

You're looking glamorous, let's get mischievous, and polyamorous

Gay is stored in the ass

Gay

Trans

*opens door and walks through with you exaggeratedly* Fellas we got the whole LGBTQIA+ community right here

Enby

Hahaha gender go brrr

Lesbian

Lesbian-thot

Lust

Someone who thinks it funny to clown around

Joker (derogatory)

Haha straight

Dead inside

Some supervillain idk

News. Literally a shower news style responses

r

I cannot believe that I forgot Her Greatest Majesty, the Queen. All Hail Royal

Isaac newton?

M megamind?

Fiftieth

Crackhead

Some Phoenix Wright kinnie

What is a Dean Winchester and why does he have a tentacle fetish?

Well well well, if it ain't a homestuckian

Did someone kill/rob The Doctor or something, their TARDIS was left behind and its blocking my pretzels that I left in the shower

Mined crafts uwu

Well well well, if it ain't- *accidentally makes eye contact and is then killed by some unknown shadowy creature holding what seems to be some sort of cube of dirt*

GOTTA GO FAST

Mishamishamishamishamishamishamisha

Gen Z and ready to throw hands with OP

Not puki

Nom noms

Dip dap

Kensa

B͓̽u͓̽n͓̽g͓̽e͓̽r͓̽ ..........

Someone broke their space bar or something

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-dshower

The magical deity of sleepovers

DON'T FALL ASLEEP. NO MATTER WHAT THEY TELL YOU-

The muffin man genuinely left drury Lane for this

Txmblr

Moonlit nights on a winters day, stars glimmering gently

A child?

🟥

The fae. Just all of them. Every single one.

Crocus? (What on earth does that mean)

*sings* baba blacksheep have you any wool? Because if not you will be killed (this fits the tune perfectly. If not I have failed in everything)

The theatre itself is here... Somehow

Ahoy-hoy

boo

REEEE- *epic geometry dash gameplay to DanTDM's old intro music*

Yardale, not to be mistaken for riverdale and differs to lawn ale or front porch ale or even meter ale

I'll finish this list later

It's gonna be a long one folks

I'm including a ones that haven't spoken since ages ago because

Boy howdy there's new ones tell me who I'm missing now

Please stop thank you very much this is too many i keep having to add to this any new responder must kill a responder to continue the purge shall claim y'all as I will win i recently started watching Danganronpa

Seriously though everyone after mirror must have a battle royale it's too much i doubt all of you will even last longer than today also happy birthday me -dated:28th- do you even realise what sort of commitment you've made to sell pieces of your soul for entertainment and ability to make such epic retorts each and every post?! I sacrifice many souls DAILY to be throwing such bangers into this stuff y'know?

We have a tap guys we can finally wash our hands of all the blood of our enemies

Seriously though who left the door open I don't want a Pigeon pecking at me (the mishapocalypse got them lol)

So many responders so little time before the end of the world

If I'm missing someone please tell me very thank

There are not enough colours for me to assign a different one to each person 😔 also, wtf is on there twice on purpose

WorldHealthOrganisation IS MISSING (note: you may have a joke in place of name or under a category of names)

So there's lore without me?

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT *moth noises*

Okay now there's alternate timeline versions of responders for the benefit of myself they ain't going on the list bud

There is an incorrect role play blog quotes blog and I am crying. Not of laughter. Just wiuwhdhsjhshjxjabjsjdhdjsj

If any new people join I will go back to causing shower wars for the sake of killing you all I'm done I have snapped my laptop is updating 3 times in a row

I will commit crimes.

Does being a shower responder or role-playing seem encouraging to people to join this "community"? Because I'm pretty sure it's the latter

[jamespotterthefirst]

The Viper (AU: Ethan x f!MC)

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Words: 1.5 K Warning: Cursing. Mentions of s e x Summary: Detective Ramsey is a step closer to capturing a notorious criminal. If only Miss Allende, a key witness, would cooperate.

Author’s Note: I am an idiot because the beautiful @beastlyinstrument sent me this AU prompt and I didn't know I was to write a fic. Anyway, once I caught on, I got right to work on this lol. Thank you so much for the prompt! Thank you immensely to @aestheticartsx for pre-reading!

When Ethan awoke that morning, he couldn't possibly predict he'd be punching Declan Nash square in the jaw. It was a long standing fantasy of his and finally, in the crowded, smoke-filled bar, Ethan had found a good enough excuse to do it. One minute, the lecherous pig was forcing his company on the visibly distressed blonde, the next Ethan was shoving him away and punching him with such spectacular force that Nash flew back into a storm of glasses, bottles, and furniture.

Ethan also never imagined his hand, red and swollen from the satisfying impact against Nash's leering face, would be tended to in a desolate dressing room by the loveliest woman he had ever set eyes on. Then again, his mind would require an exceptional measure of talent to invent the perfect arch of her brows, the graceful slope of her nose, the lush swell of her lips. And those eyes— almond-shaped, bright, and the most captivating shade of green imaginable.

Alluring green eyes that were currently meeting his, sending his pulse into an elated flutter.

“All better,” she informed him in that caress of a voice.

Something about the spark in her eyes as she watched him put in a comfortable and flirtatious lull, so much unlike his usual self. The same warm ease had blossomed in his chest when his eyes met hers from across the bar only minutes ago.

“Are you certain you're not a doctor, Miss…”

“Allende,” she supplied, red lips curling into a coy smile. “And no doctors here, just years of experience cleaning up messes. Though if they all looked as handsome as you, I wouldn't mind patching them up.”

She punctuated the heady little pronouncement with a wink that almost made his breath hitch. Ethan's good hand twitched at his side just as she moved away to a vanity. All he could do was watch as she placed herself in front of the lighted mirror, reapplying her lipstick with skilled precision.

“So what brings you here, Detective Ramsey? Don't tell me you just stopped by to defend my honor from the likes of Declan Nash.”

“Though an honorable pursuit, that's not the reason for my visit,” he said, their eyes meeting through the mirror. “I'm here to investigate the Kenmore bank robbery from two nights ago.”

Miss Allende hummed in acknowledgement but added nothing more.

“A reliable source claimed I could come here to find all the information I needed about the Viper.”

She raised her perfectly shaped brows at him.

“You think the Viper is a regular here?”

“It's what I'm here to find out.”

There was a pause in which she realized his intent. To his surprise, she laughed.

“And you think I'm the one who's going to rat the Viper out?”

When Ethan said nothing, only held her gaze steadily, she laughed even more still. This time, Ethan could hear an edge to the sound, something akin to fear.

“I'm not that keen on making enemies, Detective.”

In the silence that followed, she carefully brushed the platinum blonde curls that cascaded down to her shoulders. Those green eyes remained fixed on her reflection, and something told him she was studiously avoiding his eye. His instinct told him she was afraid, despite how masterfully she tried to hide it under the flirtatious veil. To his astonishment, his stomach clenched unpleasantly, the urge to protect her tightening his jaw.

Before he could think of a tactful way to continue his questioning, she rose to her feet, smoothing the front of the black dress clinging to her skin. “Now, if that was everything, Detective Ramsey, I really must be getting back to the bar. I'm due on stage in less than ten minutes.”

Ethan intercepted her before he could stop himself as she moved to the door.

“Please, Miss Allende—”

“Lilac.”

“What?”

“My name. You can call me Lilac.”

“That's—”

Beautiful.

He had never heard anything like it.

“Lilac. Anything you might know about the criminal known as the Viper will be of great help.”

Lilac paused, studying his expression for any trustworthiness she could cling on to. Ethan gazed back, acutely aware of how close their faces were in the silence. Something slipped in her guarded expression, revealing a small hint of vulnerability.

At last, she sighed.

“I can't,” she said in a quiet voice. “I'm not—”

“I will protect you.”

Lilac startled at that, as though she had seldom heard the words before. She swallowed, her gaze holding his as she considered his offer, something heavy and tangible pressing into the small space that separated them.

“You offering to be my bodyguard, Detective?” she asked in a sultry voice, the words dripping from her lips like honey. She added a coquettish smile for good measure, leaving no doubt that the mask was securely back into place. “I accept, but you don't need the job title to press me against a wall with your body.”

Ethan had no hope of pushing his point as a crimson nail traced the outline of his jaw. The slow, lazy line made his breath hitch, his mind racing with thoughts of her tight little body flush against his.

Fuck the wall.

He could bend her over that vanity, forcing her to look at him through the mirror as she whimpered his name.

Lilac shifted closer to him still, lips parted as her finger descended down his neck. The intent in her gaze told him she wanted the same thing. Ethan leaned in to capture her lips but something in the mirror caught his attention and made him pause.

Lilac blinked at him, befuddled by his sudden stony expression.

“What?”

Ethan said nothing, observing the stain on the skin of her back. It was insignificant, otherwise imperceptible if not by the slight shift in the fabric of her dress.

Yet, there it was, as present as any hard evidence he might find.

“You missed a spot.”

Lilac stepped away from him, puzzled.

“What are—”

“Tar is notoriously difficult to get off the skin, isn't it, Miss Allende?” His voice grew icier with every word. “But you knew that. Hell, you knew that two nights ago when you slipped on the Kenmore rooftop during the chase.”

“Fuck!” the masked figure had hissed as they hit the black substance coating part of the roof.

She continued to back away. “I don't know what—”

“Tell me, Miss Allende, did you research Kenmore before you decided to strike?”

“You're—”

“Did you know the rooftops were under construction before you led us up there in your hasty little escape attempt?”

Lilac finally halted her steps, keeping her eyes trained on Ethan.

Something shifted in her expression, like a mask falling to the floor.

Then, she smiled wickedly at Ethan.

“Very good, Detective Ramsey. Maybe you are as good as they say you are.”

There was a pronounced silence, steely blue eyes boring into effervescent green ones. In a blinding motion, they both moved—Ethan to restrain, Lilac to evade.

Their bodies were a flurry of limbs moving to strike or to defend. The furniture in the small dressing stood no chance against their skill, which Ethan was surprised to find Lilac possessed. She moved with admirable grace and precision for someone wearing stilettos and a confining, skin-tight dress. It didn't stop her from aiming a high kick at his head, which Ethan barely dodged.

“You're under arrest,” he grunted when he pushed her against a wall.

Lilac laughed in his face, her crimson lips only inches from his.

“You're cute when you're confident, Ramsey.”

In a swift movement, she freed her body from his hold, light and unassailable like the waters of a raging river.

More swirls of movement as they struck, blocked, and kicked, each paired with a breathless grunt or swear. At last, just as his technique descended into sloppiness, Ethan managed to press her against the wooden tiles of the floor. His hands pinned her wrists above her head, his knees digging securely against her hips.

“How did you know?” she asked between pants, still donning a devious smile despite her position. “That this is my favorite position to be in?”

Ethan stiffened as he held her, unable to look away from the rise and fall of her chest. It struck him then how fighting her was not unlike fucking her, just how they wanted only minutes ago. Before he could reign his thoughts in, she freed her legs, hitched them on his hips, and reversed their positions with trained strength and agility.

“Or maybe me on top is better?” she asked thoughtfully.

Ethan grunted, moving to free himself from her grasp, but she was surprisingly strong.

“It's a shame you're a damn good detective,” she continued. “We would've had so much fun together.”

As Ethan unsuccessfully tried to free himself, he saw Lilac's hands delve into her blonde curls until she removed what he now knew to be a wig. A downpour of glossy, dark hair fell past her shoulders, reminiscent of the dark braid he thought he saw in the darkness on the night of the chase. Even struggling and breathless as he was, his traitorous mind couldn't help but recognize how much lovelier she looked with dark hair.

“You'll never get away, Viper.”

Lilac laughed out loud at the use of the moniker, which felt so ill fitted.

“Even as talented as you are, I'm afraid you don't have all the facts yet.” She pressed a hot, languid kiss to his neck before using his own handcuffs to bind him to a nearby pipe. “But something tells me you'll get there soon enough.”

With one last charming smile, she rearranged her dark hair, hoisted herself onto the window, and vanished into the night.

_________________________

Author's Note: Y'all I don't know what this was lol. Thank you so much for reading this! It was so much fun!

A few notes:

The next chapter of my OH3 AU is almost done. Yay!

I'm almost caught up with replies and reading all the fics I missed out on the week I was gone. Double yay!

And (not to jinx myself) but I might finally sit my butt down to complete the next chapter of the Picta series (ages later oops)

Thank you everyone for being here, despite it being almost a month the OPH ended :( Love you guys!

*tags in a reblog

[x-hollywoodghoul-x]

"Please. Look at me, cowboy, I'm an old raider."

Was she trying to strike up a rapport with a bit of banter? Adorable.

The Ghoul gave her a yellowed, knowing smile that didn't meet his eyes.

Oh, kiddo, you don't know what old is.

An "old" raider was a spit in the bucket compared to him; the lifestyle killed most of the trigger-happy, caps-hungry idiots who gave it a go within three years.

And given he'd never heard of this woman or her little crew, he doubted she'd been in the raiding business that long.

"Ah, now, swee'heart, that ain't much of a boasting point - 'cause most of y'all don't last longer than a bloatfly, " he quipped back lightly, the faux-friendly tone of his voice belying the very measured way he was circling closer. The two lackeys accompanying Miss Minigun looked nervous about his approach, but they seemed to be holding their nerve so far, which was a little disappointing.

He was itching for an excuse to shoot something, and that was a nice gun the twitchy lad on the left with the bags was holding.

Go on. Give me a reason. I know you want to.

Miss Minigun was continuing her pitch, either unaware or unworried by the way The Ghoul was sizing up her people; making a note of which one was the weakest link in the three-person chain, which one would make the best meat-shield and give him the advantage he needed to quickly dispatch the others, if it came down to it.

"I'm still here because I plan and I prepare. Then I overprepare. You'd be when the 'over' bit starts. Which is what lets me be so 'nice' about it."

The Ghoul turned in a slow, thoughtful circle on the spot, peering out across the wide open field of the dark graveyard, making a show of looking for the invisible backup sniper team that must be making her so confident in her preparation skills.

If she truly thought bringing just two men and a minigun was enough to ensure her safety, well, that was actually a little insulting. Not that he was going to have any complaints about a mistake if it worked in his favour, of course.

"Here's the deal. Apparently a scientist stole from the Enclave and ran with his dog."

That got his attention.

...Enclave scientist, huh? Running away with a dog?

Oh, that scientist was definitely scurrying off with some kind of highly classified military tech that folks would pay a whole mountain of caps for. He doubted the dog was the stolen property that the Enclave was so pissy about.

"The Enclave got its panties in a twist, and offered a thousand caps to bring him back. But we both know they ain't gonna give that to ya. 'Cause you are a ghoul, and people are stupid about that."

The Ghoul's lips twitched; a small ripple of acerbic amusement.

Oh, you'd be surprised.

Sure, most folks were stupid, discriminating assholes. But most folks were also pretty quick to reevaluate their priorities, when the right leverage was applied - and his practiced brand of persuasion was pretty effective at making even the most proud and stubborn fellow suddenly experience the pressing inclination to be more accommodating.

After all, he wasn't just any ghoul.

"They'll want someone in a shiny armor to do it."

Well, there was what someone wanted, and there was what they actually got. He had a feeling the Enclave wouldn't be splitting hairs over the appearance of whoever bagged their bounty, when it came down to the urgency of getting their property back intact - and keeping it out of the hands of whoever this defecting scientist was undoubtedly angling to sell it to.

"Who'll really pay a lot is a friend of mine, if I bring the scientist to them."

...Ah. So Miss Minigun knew a higher bidder, and wanted to capitalize.

It didn't really matter who got the prize, in the end. It was probably just some new kind of fancy military-grade weapon for the wasteland gangs to squabble over and kill each other with, as if that wasn't all they'd been doing for the past 200 years anyway.

"If you are with me, it's a job worth 500 caps for you alone. You are free to go and check if anyone is offering more. But... if it's true that you are as good as they say, I'll throw in an extra 200."

The Ghoul arched a hairless, pock-marked brow at her, and gave a low whistle through his teeth - a deliberately performative display of amused surprise at the upfront offer.

"Wow." He drawled out, taking his time with the word, so that it was nicely marinated in sarcasm on delivery.

"Y'all really trekked all the way out here to dig ol' me up and offer 700 caps for some help with a bag n' delivery? My, my, someone's feeling in a real kindly mood."

He enjoyed the way Miss Minigun's face had twitched when he used that particular word, so it was pure vindictive curiosity to see what happened when he poked that little button he'd discovered again. Being called kindly had clearly touched some sort of nerve - maybe because she knew he wasn't using it as a compliment, maybe for some other reason. Either way, it was a flicker of an honest reaction, a hint of her true nature beneath this show of playing nice she was serving him right now.

I bet you're not so civilised when folks don't follow your little script.

The payday for this one must be big; if she was so willing to offer such a lump sum with a bonus tacked on top up-front, without even haggling, this so-called friend of hers must've quoted a much higher price than the Enclave's set reward.

A soft-footed scientist and his dog would be easy to track down, given they'd leave two sets of tracks, and have double the need to stop at the few places that supplied safe drinking water to travellers. Outsiders stuck out like a sore thumb from the locals at settlements, so it wouldn't take many friendly memory-jogging conversations to piece together where the target was going. Somewhere he assumed he'd be out of the Enclave's long reach, presumably, which helped narrow down the options.

It sounded like a lucrative deal. Which meant there had to be some kind of nasty catch, of course.

When something sounded too good to be true, in his experience, it always was.

"Not because I'm kind-hearted, but because that's what I call an investment. Paying skilled people the right amount instead of fucking them up... usually means they'll come back to work with me later."

Yeah, there was the flash of that metaphorical leash in the little tip of her hand. So this was supposedly about more than just one job, and she considered this an investment. A way to try and hook herself a notorious ally that was now conveniently the enemy of one of her latest enemies, and keep his services on a retainer to get a leg up on her competition.

...Did this raider really think she could convince him to drop the independent autonomy of his unaffiliated freelance status, and join her motley crew, by talking all nice-like and waving a big enough bag of money?

Well. She wasn't the first to make the assumption that he could be bought, and annoyingly The Ghoul doubted that she'd be the last, either. Even though his method of declining such offers had become increasingly emphatic over the years, there was always someone who thought they could change his mind.

"So take this as an incentive not to shoot me in the back whether you wanna do it or not, I'm worth more caps alive, 'cause they can keep coming and you never know when you may need a job."

The only original spin on this particular approach was that Miss Minigun seemed to be clued into the importance of emphasising she could take no for an answer. Her explicitly expressed preference for his answer to not be delivered with a bullet indicated that, on some level, the raider knew the fine line she was walking here. That she was ballsy enough to approach and ask for his allegiance, but not entitled enough to expect and demand.

"Pitch over. I won't lie, the fact that Dom Pedro will shit his pants knowing you're out and about? Makes me feel aaaall warm and fuzzy. It's good reason to try you first."

The bare-basic show of respect was a pitifully low bar, really, but enough folks had tripped over it that The Ghoul was, admittedly, kind of entertained by the novelty. And for a moment, it even showed on his malformed face - before he felt that all-too-familiar tightness in his chest, that burning itch in his throat.

An innocuous dip of his head obscured his expression under the broad brim of his hat; he raised a fist to his mouth and managed to turn his stifled coughing fit into a rasping, sardonic chuckle.

"Y'know... I didn’t catch your name. Or the name of this well-paying friend o' yours, come to think of it."

@savingthrcw

Cooper's eyes snapped open; in the suffocating darkness of the coffin, of course, there was nothing to see, but he stared hard up at the source of the sound nonetheless. It was quiet, muffled, but unmistakable.

Someone was digging.

How long had it been? It felt like he'd been down here in this cramped iron prison for a fucking eternity, like a broken doll stuffed back into its box and forgotten about. Was Dom Pedro back for another round?

This was his chance. All he needed was a few seconds, a clean shot for his rope. He didn't know what was waiting for him aboveground, but it was a safe bet that he'd be fighting for his life once that coffin door opened, and the rush of anger-infused adrenaline almost drowned out the pain from his twisted limbs, the horrible burn in his chest from each rattling wheeze for air that just never quite seemed to fill his lungs.

Come on, come on, oh god please hurry up and get me the fuck out of here -

THUNK.

They'd hit the coffin. Shit, this was really happening. This was it. Freedom.

Fresh fucking air.

Cooper felt his face twist into a desperate snarl as he tried to weakly wriggle his busted arm below his head towards his rope. It was no good, of course. Fuck it. He'd just have to come out as he was, and hope his regenerative abilities kicked in once he was less of a pretzel. Hope that Dom Pedro was in a chatty mood and not a prisoner-maiming one.

After what felt like a frustratingly long time, the scraping and dull thunking sounds finally stopped. He felt the coffin get hoisted up, up, up into the air, and then it was being slowly rotated to stand him upright.

Cooper closed his eyes, shoved the fear down, and smiled.

One way or another, he was gonna walk free today, and whoever just dug him up was going to regret it.

There was a heavy rattling of chains; at last, the coffin door swung open, leaving him coughing and gasping for breath like a swimmer who'd just spent too long underwater. It took some effort to pull himself free from the cold dark prison where his mangled body had been so ungraciously stuffed, but he managed to lurch his way out and double over, groaning as his body rearranged itself with a series of sickening cracks. Shit, that always hurt like a son of a bitch.

And of course, there was an audience pointing guns at him while he caught his breath and got reacquainted with existence outside of his coffin. Wonderful.

"Guns down, he's fine."

...By fine, he supposed the woman meant not a slavering feral.

Well, at least he now knew which of these strangers was the one giving orders.

Like a group of mongooses flinching back from a snake in a hole, the men who'd just opened his coffin hastily lowered their weapons and retreated, never once taking their eyes off him.

Guess it was showtime, then.

Slowly, with the unhurried self-assurance of a yao guai finally choosing to emerge from hibernation, The Ghoul straightened up to his full height. One boot stepped away from the open grave and onto the grass, followed by the other. A gnarled hand flexed, as narrowed sunken blue eyes swept the graveyard. Counting the heads, calculating the trajectories, appraising the threats.

...Just three, huh?

He could take three. No problem.

"Hey. I'm not with Dom Pedro."

At the woman's words, The Ghoul slowly tilted his head to one side, silent and evaluating.

Oh, you talkin' to little old me now?

Yeah, no shit she wasn't one of Dom Pedro's.

Pedro would've known better than to dig him up without at least triple the men to point guns at him.

"I'm gonna get straight to the point. I'm getting you out of there for two reasons: one, I hate that fucker and I want him to suffer. Two, coffins are for the dead."

Taking the good-cop approach right out of the gate, huh? Well, that sure was a choice. Not the default one, though, going by the minigun over her shoulder and the big pistol holstered on her hip.

...Was she trying to imply she could put him back to rest in that coffin in the proper way, if he wasn't feeling grateful enough for the unsolicited rescue?

The Ghoul's head took a tilt to the other side; a swaying cobra, sizing up his target, contemplating whether or not to strike.

His realigned joints ached something fucking fierce. The throbbing in his temples, the gnawing emptiness in his stomach and the dry burn in his throat was almost maddening. All he wanted was a long drink, a massive Brahmin steak and a comfy surface to pass out on after he took a shitload of chems.

He'd settle for just shooting some heads open and taking whatever shit these idiots had in their pockets, though. Whatever they'd come here looking for, they weren't gonna be getting it from him. He was in no mood to go from one man's kennel to this woman's leash.

"That said, I've been told you are the best tracker we can find on this side of the Wasteland, so if you are interested I've got a job worth a lot of caps."

The Ghoul's lips started to curl into a knowing little scoff. Yep, there it was. The only surprise was that she was bothering to frame it like an offer and not an order.

Maybe she just knew she didn't have the firepower right now to play the bad-cop angle. That minigun would take a good few seconds to spin up, after all, and he was pretty confident he was a faster draw than her.

"If you are not interested, good-fucking-bye, good luck and I hope you kill that son of a bitch."

There was a flicker of something across The Ghoul's marred face; a blend of faintly perplexed surprise, amusement, and appraisal. The expression disappeared almost as swiftly as it appeared, like a stone sinking into the deep.

"...Well, now, ain't that a pretty little pitch."

The Ghoul's voice was a low rasping drawl edged with a lightly sardonic nonchalance, that belied the flatly evaluating way he was looking at the head honcho stranger now. Not a fan of Dom Pedro's, huh? Was she hoping he'd go kill the bastard for her? Well, he was admittedly feeling pretty murderously inclined towards the man right now.

But it sounded like there was more to it than that.

"Y'all must be some real kindly folks, diggin' up an old wrinkly like me just to right another man's wrong."

Slow, prowling steps forwards and angling to the side. If things went south, he sure as fuck wouldn't be the one ending up in that coffin.

" I'm sure it had nothin' to do with y'all having a sudden pressin' need for a new tracker. I'll give you this much though, sweetheart," he tacked on casually, as he shifted step by innocuous step into a more tactical position, "You at least know how to pretend to ask nicely."

He didn't know these people, they sure seemed to know about him. No one went to all the effort of traipsing onto Dom Pedro's turf and digging up the biggest baddest motherfucker they could think of unless they were desperate for a win. By the men's caginess and their minigun-toting leader's calm reasonable act, they weren't exactly used to pitching job offers to someone like him either.

"Can't exactly say if I'm interested in this lucrative job o' yours or not if I ain't got a clue what the job is, though, can I?"

If it sounded solid, there was no reason he couldn't just kill them and go after the bounty himself. Easier than dealing with having to travel with other people, and he wouldn't have to split the payload - or go through the whole inconvenience of them trying to double-cross him and make off with all the caps.

If it sounded like a bust or just plain not worth his time, well, he'd get to test out how serious she was about letting him exercise his right to say no.

@savingthrcw