#if u don’t vote for her and encourage not to

[mickeym4ndy]

watchng a US election from outside of the states is so insane bc HOW is it this close

[xoxovalerie-c]

Blog Post Week 4: Due 9/19

How have names contributed to racial bias in both technology and society, and what are the consequences?

I truly believe that names, including nicknames, are strongly tied to people’s identities. For example, I get upset when my boyfriend calls me by my full name because it feels rude I prefer being called Val. So, yes, names matter they’re more than just labels. They reflect culture, status, etc. Think about how Kylie Jenner was criticized for naming her baby Stormi, but now many moms love that name. An uncommon name but Kylie’s social status changed that. So, how has technology contributed to making names a source of racism? It does. Studies have shown that they found that algorithms associated White- sounding names with “pleasant” words and Black-sounding names with “unpleasant” ones (Benjamin, 2019). This shapes how society perceives names. For instance, law enforcement is developing as their use of technology increases. This can cause where an unfamiliar name might lead to someone being unfairly judged as a “criminal.” The fact that technology uses names as a data point is a red flag. It’s not technology itself that’s racist-it’s the people who designed it, embedding their own social biases into these systems.

Why is technology being compared to Jim Crow law? 

Jim Crow laws were designed to continue the separation of black and white people in everyday life, without explicitly saying it but enforcing segregation through legal means. These laws affected everything from where people could eat to where they could vote. Similarly, technology today has created a digital divide between those who have access to technology and the internet and who don’t. But truly it just isn’t a gap between socioeconomic but rather identities. The problem is, some argue that addressing this issue might violate freedom of speech. But why are we accepting racism online as something that’s okay? Just like Jim Crow laws, technology has created barriers that deepen inequality. 

How does intersectionality shape individuals experiences in a digital space?

As Crenshaw explained, intersectionality is a way to understand inequality by looking at how different parts of a person's identity comes together. It's a prism for understanding many more social problems. Encourages people to think about advantages and disadvantages (Crenshaw, 2018). This idea helps us understand how various aspects of identity, like race and gender, combine to affect experiences with discrimination. For example, algorithms and online platforms can create unique challenges for people depending on their race, gender, and socioeconomic status. When creating fairer digital policies and technologies, it’s important to consider these overlapping identities. Identity is about the relationships between people in different communities and understanding each person’s unique background, both in the physical world and online.

Why is there a lack of awareness of these biases being present in major social platforms?

Noble discusses a case where Google was showing explicit content when searching for the term “Black women.” Google claimed this was due to a glitch in the system. However, Noble pointed out that it’s hard to believe such significant glitches could occur without the creators of these programs being aware of them. This issue isn’t highlighted because these are considered legitimate and trusted programs, yet they still fail to address these problems. As society, unawareness comes from normalizing bias. What we need to do is hold more accountability of the issue that is being put into our faces. 

Benjamin, R. (2019). Race After Technology.

Noble, S. U. (2018). Algorithms of oppression. https://doi.org/10.2307/j.ctt1pwt9w5

National Association of Independent Schools (2018, June 22). Kimberlé Crenshaw: What is Intersectionality? [Video]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViDtnfQ9FHc

[brainscrems]

And like. Yk. I think still contacting harris is good. I think I can do more good w my time on other areas, but by all means continue doing so. U should simply do that AND vote for her AND encourage others to. What u say to the campaign to put pressure on them need not be what u say in ur personal life.

Also, quick note. U do recognize, I assume, vastly more people will be harmed by trump and that trump will save none of the people being harmed now. No one new dies under harris, only lives saved. This means, in essence, that the only people concrete harm by you voting for harris is, well, the harm to yourself and how you feel about yourself. If your moral system is prioritizing how you feel about yourself over the lives of millions. If your moral system allows that result, I don’t think it should be a moral system you subscribe to. Again, my broader point is how your own moral system doesn’t really add up when applied to reality and leads to conclusions that would be entirely impractical if you still hold to it. However, on a secondary level, I would recommend taking a hard look at a moral system that lets you make that conclusion and see if that’s something acceptable to you.

I want to vote for Harris. I really, really want to vote for Harris. I don’t want Trump to win the election. I don’t want to have to live with four more years of ‘what’s this sick fuck going to do to us next?’

But I can’t vote for the continued genocide of the Palestinian people.

I’m going to be contacting the Harris campaign regularly. I’m going to try and plead for them to see sense. But if they won’t, then come November, I’m going to have to vote for someone who has the basic humanity not to support a genocide because it’s politically expedient.

If you want to pick a fight with me, maybe you ought to use that effort on the Harris campaign instead.

[caroldantops]

i’ll be your 1-up girl

ship: kate bishop/fem!reader

summary/request: kate is really close to hitting 1000 subscribers on twitch, and you're somehow the star of the show. (au where twitch’s terms of service just lets u straight up have sex on camera)

word count: 865

warnings: smut (18+), pillow humping, edging, exhibitionism, sex acts on camera, mentions of other things (bondage, anal, pet play kind of not really?), stupid nerd jokes

masterlist | ao3 link

The pillow between your legs feels damp against your bare thighs as you settle in a more comfortable position on it, juices from your core feeling cool against you. You sigh, hoping that Kate is too immersed in her game to notice that you’ve paused your movements and are simply sitting on her pillow as you gaze over at her from your spot on the bed.

“You know, I can see you in the facecam. That’s like, the whole point,” Kate regards without turning from her monitors.

You mumble a complaint against the gag in your mouth and sit up again, rolling your hips against the pillow, whining as it rubs against your already overstimulated pussy.

“There we go. Don’t worry, baby, we’ve only got…fifty more subs before you can cum!”

You can barely see Kate’s profile around the back of her chair, but you know for a fact her lips are curled into a small smirk as she goes back to ignoring you. Despite the fact that she’s busy playing Super Mario Odyssey for her stream today, most of her chat seems to be focused on you. Probably because you’re humping a pillow in the background.

Kate always loved showing you off on stream, whether it was sitting on her strap while she chatted with Yelena and played Overwatch, or for her more relaxed streams, you would sit under her desk and eat her out while she played Animal Crossing. All of her fans enjoy it so much, that Kate started asking them to send in ideas for what she could make you do on camera, and she’d make them rewards for reaching her subscription goal.

They hadn’t been very bad so far. Humiliating? Sure. But difficult? Not really.

HawkeyeFan05 gave Kate the idea to tie you up all pretty and have Kate tease you between rounds when Kate reached 700 subscribers.

For 800 subscribers, BoneyKomaeda convinced everyone to vote for Kate having you wear a thick buttplug while you warmed her strap.

And then at 900, MommyMiltanks convinced everyone to donate money so that Kate could buy you a barely-there cow-print bikini - complete with a little bell collar. Kate played with your tits the whole stream, of course, and by the end of if everyone could see you dripping through your new outfit.

Kate was determined to do something special for 1,000 subscribers, but nobody’s suggestions seemed feasible considering she couldn’t stream and fuck you.

And then, Yelena of all people proposed an idea.

“What if instead of waiting until you reach your goal, you edge her? And don’t let her cum until you hit 1,000. That would encourage people. Or not, depending on how much they want to torture your girl.”

So, here you are. Kate decided to do an extra-long stream this session since, at the start, she was at 930.

To your dismay, however, the end of the stream was nearing. You’re desperately trying to keep yourself on the edge while simultaneously not getting too close, for fear of losing control before you’re permitted to cum.

“‘What happens if you don’t reach the sub-goal by the end of stream?’” Kate reads from the chat. She pauses, turns around for the first time since she took a break, and takes in your shivering form. The drool from around your gag has dripped down your chin, spilling onto your chest. Your thighs are equally soaked, the continuous moving of your hips smearing your juices along your skin. Kate gives you a soft smile, which you try to return, before turning back around. “If we don’t reach the goal, she doesn’t get to cum until the next stream.”

Your eyes widen in horror, and you try to complain, but all Kate can hear is your muffled whines.

“Don’t worry, baby,” Kate says, unpausing her game. “That’s only a few days without coming. You can handle that, can’t you?”

“Mmff.”

“I thought that’s what you’d say! Good girl. Now keep humping.”

With only twenty minutes left, you’ve basically given up on the idea that you’ll be allowed to cum tonight. Kate keeps eyeing you on the webcam, giving you a look that tells you she feels sorry for you. Enough to not berate you for going slower, but not enough to ease up on her promise.

You can barely sit up properly anymore, leaning forward on your elbows for leverage as you grind your cunt against the pillow. So engulfed in focusing on the pleasure that you’re fending away, you almost don’t hear Kate gasp and then quickly open Discord to call someone.

“Oh my god, Yelena, did you really gift fifty subs?” If you could listen in on the conversation, you’d hear Yelena laugh and say she felt bad for you. Kate rolls her eyes and gets up from her seat, discarding her headphones and controller on her cluttered desk. She pulls you up, hand diving between your thighs as she kisses your sweaty forehead. “Hear that baby? We hit our goal! You can cum for me now.”

The last thing you remember before passing out from the pleasure of Kate’s fingers is her kissing you gently over your gag.

[feudalconnection]

The Nomination Period for the 2nd Quarter 2022 Inuyasha Fandom Awards is now CLOSED!!

Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay!

Below the cut you will find a complete list of all the nominations received for this quarter!

If you do not see your nomination, please reach out to us as soon as possible!

We strongly encourage that when you view a work of art or read a fanfiction, please reblog or leave a review to let the creators know how much their work and talent is appreciated!

The voting period will begin April 29th and end May 12th.

In order to be able to vote, you will need to login. We will be posting the link to the voting form on the first day of the voting session.

Got a question? Check out our FAQ or send us an ask.

Message one of the mods directly: @sassybratt9791 @ruddcatha @umacaking @sssuperbartola​

Thank you to everyone who nominated for making this 2nd Quarter absolutely wonderful, and happy voting!

FANFICTION NOMINATIONS

Best Action

“To Boldly Go” by @witchygirl99 “The Ghost of Higurashi Shrine” by @elkonigin “The Captain and the Hanyo” by @goshinote “Koi no Yokan” by @keichanz “Inferno” by @mynightshining “Blood of the Past” by Nukawin (Ao3)

Best AU/AR

“Jar of Hearts” by @mamabearcat & @mickisketch “Daiyokai only wear Couture” by @neutronstarchild & @kalcia “Bloody Valentine” by @inussunflower “Reawakened” by @livinginthefifthdimension “Remnants of Unity” by @writemydaydreams “Appointed Mate for the Hanyou” by BlueMoon_Goddess7290 (AO3) “The Legend of the Dark Forest” by BlueZeldana (Ao3) “In Too Deep” by @sagemcmae “By the Book” by @mrfeenysmustache/Ashmish111

Best Canon

“All the Warmth I Need” by @ruddcatha “Home” by @witchygirl99 “A Busted Knee” by @wakingpriestess “Only Her” by @fandomobsessions016 “Small Hands” by @xoxopandapanda

Best Canon Divergence

“Kagome’s Fateful Choice” by @neutronstarchild “Dog Guardian” by @alannada “You Go Wherever You Go” by @shadewithoutcolour “I Can Be Your Reckless” by Lutelyre (AO3) “If We Fall Anyway” by @soliska / Evillusions (AO3) “Tales from the West” By @moon-ion/thetroll (AO3) “Your Kiss Well Dreamt” by @dawnrider “Heat” by vegetasprincess (AO3)

Best Angst

“Death Becomes Us” by @kstewdeux “In My Pulse, There is Only You” by @cannibalsforbreakfast / Laeoukka & @kirrtash “Remnants of Unity” by @writemydaydreams “The Legend of the Dark Forest” by BlueZeldana (Ao3)

Best Dark

“Destroying Trust” by @ruddcatha “I Can Be Your Reckless” by @lutelyre “Bloody Valentine” by @inussunflower “Japanese Doll” by @shinidamachu

Best Drama

“Million Dollar Man” by @inussunflower “Canine Curse Crisis” by @alannada “The Island” by @roseheartwhitefox “To Serve and Protect” by @sereia1313 “Work Function” by @mrfeenysmustache/Ashmish111 (AO3) “Halfway to the Well” by @queerkagome/cryoverbooks (AO3) “Now You’re Mine” by @justafewsmallsteps

Best Humor/Parody

“Cycle of Change” by @fawn-eyed-girl “Who’s Your Daddy” by thetroll (AO3) “A Secret Santa” by @roseheartwhitefox “May(be) Mine” by @fandomobsessions016 “503-B” by @clearwillow “My Master and Me” by Ixaix (Ao3) “Nice to Meet You Again” by @sagemcmae “Dialogue Only Challenge” by @coquinespike

Best NSFW

“Underneath It All” by @superpixie42 “Work Function” by @mrfeenysmustache / AshMish111 “May(be) Mine” by @fandomobsessions016 “Members Only” by @anisaanisa “Heavy Petting” by @intoevernightfanfic “Heat” by vegetasprincess (AO3)

Best One-Shot

“By the Book” by @mrfeenysmustache / AshMish111 “I Don’t Need Perfection” by @cannibalsforbreakfast / Laeoukka “It was Enough” by @livinginthefifthdimension “Only Her” by @fandomobsessions016 “Nice to Meet You Again” by @sagemcmae “So… what’s your favorite?” by @moongoddesslee/moongoddesslee92 (AO3) “Y-O-U Hot” by @kawaiichan67 “What is This” by @shade-without-color/streamsofstoriesandcolour (AO3)

Best Character Portrayal

“I Choose You” (Sango) by @sapphirestarxx “The Legend of the Illethai Mobre: The Barrier Between This World and the Next” (Kouga) by @nikkxb/Monophobian (Ao3) “Ghost of You” (Kouga) by vegetasprincess (Ao3) “Ayumi Plays the Biwa” (Ayumi) by WolfishMoon (Ao3) “My Master and Me” (Jaken) by @ixaix “You’re Okay” by (Inuyasha) @keichanz

Best InuKag Romance

“Holding Out For a Hero” by @lavendertwilight89 “Till Death Do Us Part” by @elkonigin “Million Dollar Man” by @inussunflower “Members Only” by @anisaanisa “Dog Tags” by @lemonlushff “The Shikon Princess” by StormCloud17 (Ao3) “Sweet On You” by 00KuroiOokami (Ao3)

Best Non-InuKag (Canon) Romance

“Into Fire and Into Ice” by @loveyou-x3000 “My Ex’s Best Friend” by @violetasteria “By Rights“  by @dawnrider ”Dream of a Better Tomorrow“ by @doginabirdcage/Heartrush (AO3) ”A Stolen Kiss“ by @sapphirestarxx “Clandestine” by @skyelara and @violetasteria

Best Non-Canon Romance

“Final Conquest” by LadyAgnimitra (AO3) “Life Is Not a Romance Novel” by @fawn-eyed-girl “Tales from the West” by thetroll (AO3) “Ghost of You” by vegetasprincess (AO3) “Reawakened” by @livinginthefifthdimension “It Was Enough” by @livinginthefifthdimension “In the Family of Things” by annperkinsface (Ao3) “In Too Deep” by @sagemcmae

Best Serial

“Puppy Kisses” by @superpixie42 “Tales of Halloween” by @lavendertwilight89 “One Word” by @anisaanisa ”Moonlit Lullaby“ by EchoHuntress (AO3) ”Hanging by a Moment“ by @splendentgoddess ”A Surplus of Stories“ by @artistefish

Best Ficlet

“Untitled” by @loveyou-x3000 “Calm and Steady” by @yukinon-writes “Courage and Strength” by @serial-doubters-club ”Butterfly Blessings“ by @mynightshining “Dialogue Only Challenge” by @coquinespike ”InuKag Meeting for the first time on a cruise“ by @justafewsmallsteps ”Make a Wish“ by @cstorm86/C_Storm (AO3) ”InuKag, they’re riding a dragon“ by @mustardyellowsunshine

Best Collaboration

“Daiyokai Only Dress in Couture” by @neutronstarchild & @kalcia “Clandestine” by @skyelara and @violetasteria “In My Pulse, There is Only You” by @cannibalsforbreakfast / Laeoukka & @kirrtash “Jar of Hearts” by @mamabearcat & @mickisketch

Best Completed

“Ukiyo: The Baker’s Tale” by @goshinote “Friends with Financial Benefits” by @pointyobjects ”Blood of the Past“ by Nukawin (AO3) ”503-B“ by @clearwillow/Brigidthefae (AO3)

FANART NOMINATIONS

Best Action

“Kagura” by @wanfnag2017 “Untitled” by @amlli “受け継ぎし” by Mocamilkmoca (Twitter) “BAMF Kagome” by @boflicker

Best AU/AR

“Lord Sesshomaru and his Bride” by @nhamm “Indiana Jones AU” by @nikelaos87 “Untitled” by @lavendermoonflower “Untitled” by Skittlesdoodles “Uh Oh” by @sayuri-watanabe “Inuyasha but Inukag were childhood best friends” by Mijasrose (Twitter) “西装团 (Suit Group)” by Milk23148885 (Twitter)

Best Canon

“Ramen” by @nicoledraws “The Family” by @lenbarboza “Put Your Empty Hands in Mine and Scars” by @thunderpot “Untitled” by @bdahae “Untitled” by Shadowpuppetteer “Kagome in her boyfriend shirt” by Hullo Yokai (instagram) “Untitled” by @amlli

Best Angst

“Pride and Humility” by @heavenin--hell “So this is my Future” by @otaku-108 “Drag Me Down” by @momorhea “There was no place for me…” By @bigswigofmilk “The Tower” by @aycief

Best Dark

“Untitled” by @moony-cartoons “Untitled” by @kristicles “☀️Day (second pic)” by @pachworldx-1

Best Humor/Parody

“Moroha’s first words” by @jess-oui “Car Ride” by @stillunderyourbed “Technically Probably Canon” by @jess-oui “Real Shit” by @maggins “Has This Been Done Yet” by @briizer

Best Kiss

“Untitled” by @len-barboza “Technically Probably Canon” by @jess-oui “Inuparents in a Garden Glow” by @nartistadigital “A Soft Love in a Cruel World” by fanasY (DA) “Untitled” by Neita (Twitter)

Best Character

“Sesshomaru” by @erynsmash “Film Noir Kagura” by @thornedraven “Sesshōmaru - Inuyasha Tarot Project” by NimRod “Death Happens” by @snow-body “Thought Sesshomaru would be my Favorite” by @yamadeus “Strength and Courage” by @yumanichan “Moroha BENIYASHA Higurashi” by @kibaliciious “Inuyasha” by No_95c (Twitter)

Best Duo/Pairing

“Uh Oh” by @sayuri-watanabe “It’s Time to Go” by @eliza-faust-diary “Untitled” by @sloanecone “Lipgloss” by @mama-ino “Thinking about how often Moroha must have pulled Inuyasha’s hair as a baby” by @tmetta “First Meeting” by @kue-landak “SessKag Quick Color” by @rin-afananditshows/ Henshaw Girl

Best NSFW

“Into the Well” by @alforall “Naughty Gifts” by @hopidoodle “Untitled” by @moony-cartoons “More Mirsan Content” by @herbiwh0re “Fancy a Swim? AKA Sea Butt” by @lemonlushff “I promise you you will not always be this war” by @herbiwh0re

Best Romance

“Thursday Special” by @clementinesgulag “Cookies for our Favorite Puppy” by @dreaming-of-soup “Untitled” by @mamabearcat “Untitled” by @audrieberrie “Untitled” by @redundantz “Perception” by @yumanichan “Soulmates” by @mikoriin

Best LGBTQ+

“June, the month of love” by @kalcia “Best Friends” by @valuvi “We Should Kiss” by @hopidoodle “Fairy Tale AU” by @inukouga “InuMir in Call Me By Your Name” by @boflicker “Untitled” by @nicosart “SessBya Art” by @actually1000percentdone

Best Group Depiction

“InuKag Family” by @ashleys-canvas “InuKagMor Playing” by @thornedraven “Their Friendship is Magic” by @sollee-art “Happy InuKag Halloween (first picture)” by Chandllucky (Twitter) “I think the Home of Kagome and Inuyasha is with Each Other and their Friends” by @ruikamo “Hoje com esse desenho do anime Inuyasha” by Naiara_fuyuki (IG)

Best Doujinshi

“What does Moroha see?” by @tharaax “Untitled” by @briizer “Untitled” by @clearwillow “Petty Inuyasha” by @justshipsandstuff “Inuyasha Sequel” by Keks-Creations (DA) “Inu-Papa Holding his Baby Girl” by Lelolanda19 (TW) “One More Upload” by DandelionLambs (TW)

Best Non-Canon Pairing

“The Onsen” by @sayuri-watanabe “The Way to Her Heart” by @otaku-108 “Untitled” by @heavenin--hell “He has dog breath” by @tmetta “V-Day” by @vixeria “SessKagu” by @san92994 “Animated WIP” by @vixeria

Best Redraw

“Untitled” by @dessins-claudine “The Water is Hot!” by @nartistadigital “Redraw from the Manga” by @stillunderyourbed “Aome and Inuyasha💙” by Rigelwave (IG) “Redraw of my Redraw” by @genieyea “Redraw of this in my style” by @raetheartist1 “Speedpainting on the stream” by FanasyY (Twitter)

Best Traditional

“Kagura” by @eliza-faust-diary “Untitled” by @kirrtash “Inuyasha for Inktober” by @anabimelo “Inktober Day 4” by @danikatze “Untitled” by @manichan18 “Moroha ❤️❤️❤️” by @vestal-spirit “Untitled (First one)” by @bebe-tachibana “Un Disegno a penna bic” by peocle (IG) “Inuyasha Doodle Pile” by @notadventuring

Best Overall

“RawrXD” by @nissiz “Untitled” by @bdahae “Down the Rabbit Hole” by @nicosart “Happy spring from this happy family” by @rubbesart “The Onsen” by @sayuri-watanabe “Kikyo and Sesshomaru” by @cati-art “The Day After Tomorrow” by @lady2nope “이누야샤 “Inuyasha” by MGMG_1012 (Twitter)

[etherealino]

fake dating, skz.

ot8 scenario.

content/warning(s): fake dating au, just small scenarios. some are idolverse, some aren’t. swearing, hating on jype, nagging mother. tell me if i missed something!

note: i might do full length fics for each babies. what do u guys think?

chan. —

the one where he’s being pestered by his best friend to bring a plus one to his best friend’s wedding and it can’t be a random person but someone he’s actually dating.

minho looks at chan who just whines. “please?” minho says which is unusually gentle than his nagging teasing tone. “it’s been years and i think it’s time for you to finally go back to dating.”

“i will bring someone, i promise.” chan says, smiling lightly. minho could be annoying about this whole dating thing but he knows minho just wants him to be as happy as he was before.

“not just anyone?” minho says and chan nods. “someone you’re dating.”

chan looks up, eyes widening and minho frowns. what the hell does he do? chan knows how determined minho is, he won’t stop. “hyung, jeongin’s on the verge of asking his girlfriend of marrying him and—”

“y/n.” chan cuts him off with the first name that pops in his mind causing minho to raises his eyebrow. “i’m bringing y/n.”

“i said someone you’re—” minho cuts himself off, looking at chan with his eyes widening. he looks behind, seeing you having a conversation with his fiancé probably helping her with something on the wedding as she is showing you a sample from the magazine. minho looks back to chan who looks at him nervously. “hyung?”

“two weeks.” chan lies.

“why didn’t you tell me before?” minho asks and chan shrugs.

“i.. wanted to be sure.” chan says, seeing minho’s shock expression not going away and is probably not going away anytime so soon. “but now, i’m sure.”

“then, i’ll tell my girl that y/n will sit with you.” minho says and chan nods, mumbling a thanks. when minho’s fiancé pulls away from you to go to minho, chan immediately goes to you to explain the mess he has dragged you into.

oh, how frustrated you are going to be. chan could already see it.

minho. —

the one where you two are roommates and he can’t help but overhear how your mother would always bug you about not having a boyfriend among other things, so he decides to just save your ass because deep down you’re one of the few people in his list who he would do everything for.

throughout dinner, all minho has ever heard how your mom would pick on the littlest things that you would do and not do. minho was starting to get irritated because clearly, your mother doesn’t know how much of an amazing person you are (but of course, he’d rather go to jail than let you know that). 

as minho cleans on the table, you are still by the door with your mom.

“i didn’t want to bring this up earlier right in front of your roommate because it would be humiliating,” your mother says and minho rolls his eyes. as if she hasn’t humiliated you the whole night. “but do you ever plan on having a boyfriend?”

“mom, i just graduated college. i have a lot of things to focus on, i don’t have the time—”

“well, do it faster. no one is available forever.” 

that was it. minho couldn’t hold it any longer. he just wants your mom to stop and let her know how unbelievably amazing you are. as he puts the table rug down, he loudly says, “my love, can you help me?”

you turn your head to him, looking at him and minho doesn’t do anything but shrug. “y/n, love,” he calls again, walking to you and acting as if he was surprised to see your mother is still there on the doorway. “mrs. y/l/n, i’m sorry. i thought you went off already.”

“are you two together?” your mom slowly asks and your jaw drops, minho placing his hands on your shoulders. “why didn’t you tell me?” she asks and you look at minho.

“we decided to keep it between the two of us for now.” minho says and you let out a noise, eyes widening at minho as you pull away from his hold.

“you could have just told me, you silly girl.” your mom says and you look at her. “alright, i’ll be going. you help your boyfriend with the cleaning. remember the things i told you and bring minho by the house when there’s a gathering if he’s allowed to.”

you blink. “o-okay.” you stutter, leaning forward to kiss your mom on the cheek. minho does the same and your mom smiles. “take care, ma.”

“stay safe, mrs. y/l/n.” minho says and she nods, thanking the two of you as she walks to the elevator. you shut the door, glaring at minho. damn, this is going to be a long night of scolding.

changbin. —

the one where people think he’s dating an idol and keep insisting that that person is the inspiration behind his songs but in order to not drag that other idol into the mess, he drops the name of his non-idol best friend that nobody’s ever heard of.

changbin jumps when he hears the door of his room barge open and he sees you glaring down at him. “what. the. hell?” you grit your teeth, fuming at your best friend as you glare at him. changbin whines, knowing how fucked up did he do about the whole situation.

sure, he was thinking about the other idol who he never has exchanged at least one word with but he never though about his best friend. he was.. caught up in the moment.

“y/n, i’m really sorry. i didn’t think this would bring so much chaos.”

“you think?!” 

changbin whines. he may be all buff and strong and one of the most feared in stray kids but when it comes to you, he’ll fold even before you come at him. “y/n, i’m so sorry. i wasn’t thinking. plus, you’re profession is different from us they wouldn’t just..” changbin trails off when he sees you tapping your foot impatiently. right, dispatch could be a big bitch.

“y/n,” changbin calls, standing up from his bed and walking forward to place his hands on your shoulders. “just please, go along with it? just for a few months, i promise. i wil protect you from the reporters, i swear. just.. do this favor for me, please.”

you sigh, brushing your fingers through your hair. you wrap your arms around his torso, pulling him in and changbin returns the hug. “fine.” you say and changbin sigh in relief. “also, go take a bath. you stink.”

changbin laughs, kissing your temple.

hyunjin. —

the one where the company is being a huge pain in the ass by telling the two of you to pull a public stunt which is fake dating one another.

“what?” you and hyunjin said in unison. you looked at your manager in disbelief who just shrugs, shaking her head in disagreement as she turns away with a sigh.

“just for a couple of months.” the staff says in a gentle, manipulative tone. “just to get the heat off of the company.”

hyunnjin brushes his hand through his long locks, hiding his frustration even though he knows you feel the same just as he does. you sigh, putting your forehead on your palm as you close your eyes.

“it will help you with your upcoming comeback.” the staff says to you and you visibly scoff, causing your manager to lightly nudge you behind. you groan, looking away. “it will also help you with the votings and streamings.” the staff tells hyunjin and he only looks down, playing with his fingers.

silence takes over, everyone feeling your and hyunjin’s anger to the staff. but after a few minutes, hyunjin speaks up. “how many months?”

silence takes over again and you look at the woman in front of you who sighs. “12 months.” she sheepishly smiles.

“that’s a whole ass year.” you say and she smiles.

“we’ll send dispatch something tomorrow. so just be ready.” she says. “you’re dismissed.” the moment those two words left her lips, you and hyunjin immediately rose up to exit the office. when your manager closes the door, you went straight to the wall, covering your face with your hands as you lean against the wall with a groan leaving your lips.

you feel a hand on your shoulder and you look up to see the tall long haired boy. “hey.” you greet and hyunjin chuckles.

“we’ll get through this.” hyunjin encourages and you smile, holding your fist out.

“yeah, we will.” you said and hyunjin looked at your fist, blinking then back to your eyes.

“i’m going to be your boyfriend tomorrow and you’re giving me a fist bump?” hyunjin deadpans and you laugh, lightly pushing him as he laughs loudly.

jisung. —

the one where he’s your best friend and someone takes a liking on you but you’re too soft to reject someone so you randomly ask jisung to be your fake boyfriend.

“what do you want?” jisung says and you pout lightly, looking into his eyes.

“ji..” you softly call and jisung crosses his arms over his chest. “i think.. changbin’s going to confess tomorrow.”

“and?”

“i need you to swoop in and tell him we’re dating.” you say as you play on chips of his door. jisung’s eyes widen, laughing lightly as he blinks.

“come again?” jisung says and you whine, looking at him. “no!”

“why not?” you ask.

“just say you like me instead of pulling this stunt!” jisung says.

“hey, i don’t!” you say, scrunching your nose as you look down. “i just really don’t want to confront changbin about it and you know me. i’d just end up saying yes and—”

“it’s okay to say no.” jisung says but you only pout looking at him. jisung pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing. “y/n, i swear to god—”

“free cheesecakes as long as this goes on.”

“—you’re the bestest friend ever.”

felix. —

the one where you’ve been wanting to experience what’s it like to have a boyfriend so felix being the best friend, he lets you have the experience you deserve once you have an actual boyfriend. (got it from here.)

“lix,” you called and felix turns to you with a smile on his face. “i’m kind, right?”

“yeah,” felix answered. you truly are. whenever felix is in need of your help, you would always be there. and by always, i mean even if you’re about to do something for yourself, you’d put felix first.

“i’m not that dumb, right?” you ask.

“you’re actually really smart, y/n.” felix answers. you are. felix would always ask for your help when he’s having trouble with some subjects. and everytime you two would get into talking and there’s a test that’s to be taken by that day, felix knows you didn’t study. you never study. but how the hell do you still get high scores?

“i’m not that ugly, right?” you asked.

felix looks at you weirdly, eyebrows scrunched together as he shakes his head ‘no’. “everyone finds you extremely attractive, y/n. your beauty is simple, unlike the others.” felix says and you blush lightly, but still you want to continue with your drama.

“then why don’t i have a boyfriend?” you asked and felix just chuckles at you, continuing on doing his work. “hey,” you said with a pout. “i’m serious.”

felix softly smiles at you and places the slate and marker on his chair. “i’ll be your boyfriend,” felix answers and leans in to place a kiss on your forehead. your eyes widens, but felix continues to move as if nothing happened.

still with the soft smile on his face, felix grabs the slate and goes outside to seungmin.

seungmin. —

the one where you both decide to fake date for the sake of the annual movie fest happening in your university and the genre assigned to you is romance but seungmin, the director and you, the scriptwriter have no experience in that area which makes it hard for the two of you to bring it to life.

you softly sigh, rereading jisung’s text over and over again. seungmin gazes at you, noticing the expression that he was unable to decipher. “what did jisung say this time?” he asks and you look at him, turning the phone screen to him. seungmin reads the test and he leans on his seat, not removing his eyes on the text.

well, it’s not bad actually.

“what do you think?” seungmin asks and you shrug, softly sighing.

“it’s not a bad idea.” you softly say. “are you alright with it?”

“well, it is a good idea and we could work on it together.” seungmin says and you nod. “so, we’re doing this?”

“i guess?” you say, a bit unsure of it. you look at your wrist watch, seeing the time making you fix your things. “i have class in a few minutes, seung.”

seungmin nods, standing up as he helps you. when you sling your bag on your shoulder, he takes your laptop bag putting it on his shoulder and grabs your books as well. “what are you doing?” you ask.

“what kind of boyfriend lets his girlfriend go to class alone and on top of it, with so much bag as if she’s going to run away from home?” seungmin deadpans and you look at him.

“oh, we start now?” you mumble.

“we only have four weeks to pass the script.” seungmin says and you chuckle, nodding with a sigh.

“gosh, you need to be my boyfriend to help me with carrying my stuff.” you mumble and seungmin looks at you, pulling his tongue out.

jisung: this maybe stupid but also makes sense

jisung: date each other even just until you passed the script

jisung: just so you know what to do and stuff

jisung: just don’t fall in love

jisung: but if you do, please mention me in your wedding vows and speeches

jeongin. —

the one where he thought it would be a good idea to get his fangirls off his back by telling them he’s dating you in secret.

jeongin knocks into your apartment, giving you his charming cute smile. you raise your eyebrow, lightly chucking. “what’s up, yang?” you say, looking at him. jeongin gestures with his hands to go inside your apartment and you open your door wide to let him in.

“you know how were the bestest of friends?” jeongin asks, looking at you with his smile that not even a second did it fade.

you look at him. “no, not really.” you deadpan and jeongin sighs, frowning as he looks at you. “what do you need?”

“remember when you mentioned about the girls in uni going crazy about me?” jeongin says and you nod. “i kind of told them that i was dating someone in secret.” jeongin told you and you nod.

“you are?” you ask and jeongin shakes his head. “so you lied just to get them off your back?” you asked and jeongin nodded. “okay, so?”

“they wouldn’t let me go until i tell them who it is.” jeongin said and you nodded. jeongin just stares at you and you raise your eyebrow, not getting where the conversation is going. jeongin slowly tilts his head, staring at you and your eyes widen, hitting his arm. 

“you told them it was me?!” you exclaimed.

jeongin blinks at you. “ow?” he says and you groan.

“jeongin!”

“i know it wasn’t the smartest decision—”

“the smartest?” you repeat with emphasis because it wasn’t even smarter, it wasn’t smart. it was the dumbest. ever. “jeongin, those girls are oing to—”

“i’ll give you hyunjin hyung’s number after all of this is over.” jeongin cuts you off and you look at him. “it was obvious. he’s just... dense as fuck.”

you sigh, “you pick me up tomorrow at 7.”

“thank you, y/n!” he exclaims, hugging you as he presses your body against his. “thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“alright, go home.” you say and jeongin laughs, pulling away from you. jeongin giggles, kissing your cheek as he exits your apartment to go home.

make me do it a full length au thanks. lmAO SDHBJHS,, im going to !! tell me if u want to be tagged <3

[freeoptions306]

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[bisluthq]

i think Taylor parents are republicans and she prob was too in her teens . And as she matured and saw other things she changed her stance . Some people since their in middle school know firmly what they believe and they stick with it but honestly some people it might take them 30-40 years to understand . Like she said that she never thought there was sexism in the industry until she faced it . When she said the things that happen to you shape your political view is right .Now I AM SUREEEEE that she tried to be lil Lena Dunham in her views for a while there . And fr the whole u need to calm down is a fiasco totally out of touch. And I do think she’s grown a bit since . She is not a political queen and I think she understand it now . She Speaks when it’s important . The whole lover thing with politic was like bad idea wrong execution but good heart ? And can we stop saying Joe is her savior or eye opener and putting him on a pedestal ? (Even if it’s a bit of her own doing)smh. She’s an independent women and intelligent she can thinks for herself . Anyways love y’all

Taylor has voted Dem her whole life like she voted Obama but I think she liked the vibe more than like specific policy. I don’t think she was ever a Republican and her parents aren’t hardcore ones they’re just conservative so I think she just… was entirely apolitical for a long ass time and voted on what felt nice rather than what the educated stance was. She’s kinda said that like she didn’t want to speak about it because she didn’t know jackshit.

No one is putting Joe on a pedestal by saying he encouraged her to speak out. We’re laughing at them both for that because it’s like DEEPLY embarrassing to need your English boyfriend who isn’t riding the coattails of privilege or whatever other dumb shit he’s said to explain to you why Trump is bad and how maybe you should probably say something about the hoards of neo-Nazis worshipping you instead of suing the people horrified at those neo-Nazis.

I don’t think Taylor has grown much since Lover era on politics whatever makes you think that? Miss Americana came out in 2020 when she was 30 years old lmfao she wasn’t a 15 year old who did some more reading that’s her vibe. She’s an adult woman dude not a little girl.

She’s still largely apolitical and thinks it would be better if people were nice 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ which like fair enough.

I’d say instead of complaining about Joe being on a pedestal stop putting her on one for this. She’s a singer and entertainer and she’s not here to solve the world’s problems and it’s fucked she implied she’d try because like 😭😭 how?

[samanthadalton]

Personality traits for Chloe st James (ABCs)

this is a (late) birthday present for @alleycat97 bc i know how much she loves Chloe. It was definitely fun writing for her character and coming up with traits for her 

taglist: @alleycat97 @cloud9in @fundamentalromantic (sometimes my tags don’t work on my laptop, im not sure why) 

NSFW on some parts but I marked the parts 

A- Attentive 

Being around someone like Poppy means that Chloe is extremely attentive to the small details. She’s always picking up on the little signals and constantly makes sure you’re okay. She’ll literally show up to your dorm at 3am if your texts seem “off” to her and she’s worried you’re sad. 

NSFW- Chloe is very attentive to your pleasure during sex and loves kissing/biting your neck or chest to heighten your pleasure. 

B- Bottom

NSFW- Chloe is definitely a bottom but she’s not a pillow princess. She once got super offended that you called her one and wanted to show you she’s not the type to lie down and take it. Even though she lets you take the reins, she’s super bratty and loves verbally teasing you to turn you on more. 

C- Candidness 

You can always count on Chloe to tell the truth because she has no filter and will say whatever is on her mind. You find it both endearing but annoying sometimes because her lack of filter means she does say a lot of things that may seem rude but you know she means well. 

D- Daredevil 

NFSW- Chloe is definitely too kinky for her own good and is always down to try something new during sex, even though she always lets you take the lead. She’ll gingerly ask you if you want to do whatever new thing she’s found online and show you a bunch of videos on how to do it. 

E- Experience

NSFW- This surprised you but Chloe doesn’t have a lot of experience in the bedroom. When it comes to sex, she feels more comfortable around people she can trust, but her past partners never gave her any security so she never really knew how much of it worked until you. But now she’s breaking out of her shell more and becoming more forward with her likes and dislikes. 

F- Favourite position

NSFW- Chloe’s favourite position is seeing you between her legs, as you pleasure her. She loves eye contact and practically falls apart when your eyes meet as you eat her out. She also loves laying down on the couch with you on top of her, kissing and cuddling her because she feels the safest in your arms. 

G- Goofiness

The more you get to know Chloe, the more goofy you realise she is. She loves acting silly and stupid on purpose just to make you laugh and isn’t afraid to scream to the top of her lungs in public which evokes weird stares from random passerbys but always seems to make you laugh. 

H- Horniness

NSFW- Chloe is the epitome of horniness and loves teasing you which ends up with you dragging her to your bedroom or just doing it right on the sofa. She loves wearing outfits which are purposely revealing, and will try and seduce you by ‘accidentally’ dropping a pen and then bending over to pick it up, showing off her ass in the process. 

I- Impulsive

Chloe tends to be pretty impulsive, acting on her own whim because she either forgets she has anything planned and does something else or she’s sick of living in a controlled environment and just likes to be spontaneous. Her impulsive decisions once led you to a three day weekend in Vegas because she just wanted to play poker (even though she doesn’t know how to play). 

J- Jealousy

Chloe gets jealous really easily, which is something she isn’t proud of but you know it’s only because she loves you so much. Whenever girls get too friendly with you, she’ll loop your arm with hers, pulling you close to your side, before giving a massive show of PDA. Usually nights where Chloe gets jealous ends in quickies in the bathroom, or just leaving the event early just so you can hook up and you can remember that you are hers, 

K- Kinks

NSFW- One of Chloe’s biggest kinks is feet. There’s something unexplainable about it but her biggest turn on is feet. She loves kissing your feet or sucking on your toes because it gets her in the mood. The first time she tried it with you, she was nervous because she wasn’t sure how you would react, but she was glad when you were receptive and enjoyed it. 

L- Lazy 

Chloe loves her lazy days where she can do nothing whatsoever. Because she’s so used to everything being done for her, she usually acts like a queen and will expect you to treat her one, which includes cooking and cleaning.

M- Masturbation

NSFW- Chloe wasn’t too comfortable with the idea of masturbation at first as a result of her inexperience but after investing in a vibrator, she definitely feels better about masturbating as a whole, though she prefers sex. 

N- Narcissism

Chloe is hugely confident about herself, which can be seen as borderline narcissistic but that’s only because she knows she looks good. Back in high school, she was the prom queen and was voted most likely to stay hot (which she was extremely happy about). Chloe does care about looks a lot but that’s only because she was insecure as a child and had to overcome a lot of those insecurities. She’s working on becoming less vain which is working because she complimented Taylor the other day and said she looked good. 

O- Opinionated 

Chloe has a lot of opinions about everything and will let them be known, even if she doesn’t have all the facts. She has a guilty pleasure of reality tv shows and will always explain to you what is going on and who is the worst and who she loves. 

P- Picky

Chloe is a very picky eater and is the type to order chicken tenders and fries or salad from a restaurant when the menu isn’t appealing to her. You’ve been working on expanding her appetite. She definitely has expensive tastes and likes the most bizarre food which makes you wonder why she’s such a picky eater. For example she loves caviar but refuses to eat scallops. 

Q- Quickies

NSFW- Though she prefers sex being sensual and passionate, she does love a good quickie and will be down for one. During parties she’ll drag you to an empty bedroom rather than a bathroom because she’s unsure of what she’ll catch. 

R- Reliable

Chloe is extremely reliant and you can depend on her whenever you need something. Because she’s number 2 at Belvoire she knows how to get things done (even if she has to use other people for it). She’s really good at delegating and is someone you can trust with your secrets. 

S- Scared

Chloe gets scared really easily and hates watching horror movies unless you’re there to cuddle with her. Once when you took her to one of those haunted houses, she fainted because a monster crept up on her and she screamed so much, she ended up knocking herself out. 

T- Toys

NSFW- Chloe doesn’t have any toys but she does have a pair of handcuffs and loves using vibrators during sex. Usually during sex, you’ll put her underwear in her mouth to quieten her or use of her expensive scarfs to tie her hands up. 

U- Useless

Chloe has a lot of insecurities and one includes her not feeling worthy or useful. You often have to reassure her that she is an amazing human being and show her how incredible she is. She’s always so appreciative of your efforts to make her feel better and with you around, she feels like she’s done something right. You’ve been encouraging her to pursue a career in dance, because she absolutely lights up when she’s choreographing a new dance routine for the Zeta’s and you know she’ll do an amazing job. 

V- Volume 

NSFW- Chloe is very loud during sex and will let every sound out. Zoey has complained once or twice (or a lot of times) about the noise but Chloe can’t help it and the moans she makes are like music to your ears. 

W- Wild

Chloe does have a crazy side and after a few drinks, all of her morals, self preservation, self control are almost gone and she’ll let loose. She once flashed a bouncer to let her into the VIP section of the club (which worked) and if you dare her to do almost anything while drunk, she’ll do it without a second thought. 

X- X-ray 

NSFW- Chloe doesn’t have the biggest boobs but they definitely are very perky. She’s slim because dancing helps her to keep fit and can do a split (which drives you a little crazy) and both front and back flips. She’s about 5’9 and she definitely prefers having medium sized hair compared to long. 

Y- Yearning

Wherever you go back home for the holidays, Chloe is always missing you because she’s accustomed to having you by her side. She’ll constantly text/facetime with you to make sure you’re okay but also because she’s missing you like crazy. 

Z- Zodiac

Chloe is super into astrology and you guys play a little game where you’ll watch random strangers and try and guess their signs. She’s always sending you daily horoscopes in regards to your sign and always sends you compatibility posts about your signs. 

[tinkonka]

if kugie lived meta (pt 1?)

(semi-inspired by https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965800) 

- i’m kinda torn on kanna living or not, but you know it’s gotta be one or the other. instead of giving kanna the key, she took it from kanna and wasted her time on the number thing and inevitably got her killed.

- instead of being panicked and silent, kugie was just fully in denial. she walked into the first floor room, convinced she was just dreaming. kinda like how nao realized the professor was dead - upon asking if she had anyone come with her, she said that her sister came... and then came to the realization that kanna was in fact, dead. im not sure if she’d faint though? maybe she’d just break down and have the others console her until she fell asleep, or v#mit.

- upon calming down, she’d come to the realization that she could in fact have saved kanna (upon hearing about joe and sara sharing a trial) and snap. go into a rage, shouting at everyone, and i imagine reko would have to calm her down with shouts of her own. i can totally imagine a scene where reko’s just screaming at kugie to get ahold of herself and then kugie just sobbing into rekos chest... :(

- once she calmed down again i think she might just.. sit in the spa room or somewhere. really dazed, really tired - reko would find her and lead her to the group to meet alice

- similar to nao (again) i imagine kugie would just be really disoriented and easy to manipulate. so i imagine sou would take advantage of that (lil bitch). tell her to say she was the sage and they’d both live.

- like kanna, in the main game, she believes her life is not worth living. she gets voted for because her head is not clear - she can’t make up any sort of reason for her to live. she would shout at reko to not defend her and at kai for accusing her of putting up an act 

- i wonder how she’d react to sou snapping? would she stay quiet, or would she come to her senses? i’m really considering the latter. 

- maybe instead of saying she was the sage, she’d claim to be the sacrifice to not get voted for. she doesn’t want to die now, but she also doesn’t want to prove that sou is the keymaster. i imagine she’d also side with kai on the subject of ‘sou will disrupt our teamwork’. dunno if she’d say that out loud though

- when joe and kai die, i imagine she’d argue with sou. like kanna did, but harsher.

- i would really like to see kugie comforting sara instead of keiji! like her running into the room and shaking her awake. maybe sara would be adamant about receiving help at first, but then calm down a bit later when she sees kugie is visibly upset as well. “so you’re having nightmares too, huh...” (yes im soft for kusara. sara falling asleep on kugies shoulder n kugie falling asleep on sara’s head...)

- oh you better believe this girl almost got herself killed by launching for ranger upon seeing him wearing kanna’s skirt. one of the older men held her back so she couldn’t do anything but oh gosh she wanted to give him hell

- i imagine reko totally taking kugie under her wing, but like kugie would be a bit stubborn. the two of them would probably tease nao a lot LOL. kugie admires reko’s braveness and how cool she is, and reko thinks that kugie’s also pretty cool herself. the two of them have a lighthearted rivalry. on this note kugie  probably tried bragging about being tough in the arm wrestling attraction and failed epically. (ALSO WLW BUDDIES!!!)

- she is not falling for any more of sou’s bullshit. reko has told her that sou is a manipulative asshole and she has taken her word for it. honestly she’d have to use a lot of willpower to not kick him in the shin (ha) upon seeing him

- in the negotiations you can do, i think she’d check up on sara. ‘we’re not that different in age, you don’t need to be taking the lead all the time...’ (maybe she’d be a bit envious). somehow, the conversation would end up talking about kanna and how kugie first met her :( oh

- can totally see her not getting enough tokens and being on the top  in the arbitration room with reko, sara and nao. putting up a tough front but then practically begging sara not to push reko. if sara does, she checks immediately and then tells sara her will is strong (in tears lol). in the route that sara doesnt, she’d be so grateful. ohh the look on her face when the decision got reko killed....

- i feel like her personality would take two different paths on whether you choose to kill reko or alice! if alice dies, she’d be a hypewoman for reko and encourage her to get better all the while giving her all the comfort she needs... if reko dies, i feel like she’d totally fall back into the unresponsive state. nao would then comfort her a lot.

gonan stop here i feel like i’ve written too much but if u want more then im happy to give :D

[xxisxxisxxis]

Deleted Scene: Gateway Drug

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"Fool Me Once" -- [1987] 

I run a hand through my done-up hair, snagging it on hairsprayed strands, wincing. 

"Thank you for coming today, I know you're busy as busy can be but you made time for this, so, we appreciate it." Danielle tells me me as I sit down and she readies her notepad and pen, switching her recorder on to tape audio.

"No problem." I reply, glancing at Duff in the corner by the door. 

"I know this might be a little strange but I always like to start my interviews off with a icebreaker, if that's okay?" She offers. 

"No, that's fine." I tell her, getting more comfortable in my chair. 

"This philosophy we've been trying to pan out in some of our shoots is the difference between beautiful and sexy, and explore that notion and gauge if people even think there is a difference, so my question for you is: do you think there is a difference between 'sexy' and 'beautiful' and which would you rather be?" 

"Oh, my God, okay." I breathe out, laughing, and she joins me. 

"You said 'okay' so I asked." She reminds me and I nod. 

"Beautiful implies to more than just outward appearance, it applies to someone's soul and their spirit, their attitude, how they carry themselves, how they treat others, whereas 'sexy' literally means sexually exciting which is usually based on looks mostly." I point out. 

"Okay, and I also asked which you'd rather be--or which one you think you are." She rewords it. 

"You sure did, um…" I already know my answer, but don't want to make it seem like I want someone to tell me I'm pretty. "...I don't…" I sigh and she looks like she's dying to hear my answer, and so is Duff. "I'm pretty." I reply and she furrows her brows. "I mean, I think I'm decently pretty. I've been called beautiful before but I still have a lot to work on within myself before I feel comfortable with that. But I appreciate it when I'm called that." 

"And what about 'sexy'?" 

"Oh, no. I'm not." I say it matter of fact, and she looks stumped. 

"What?" 

"I mean, if I try I probably can be but just everyday I don't see myself as 'sexy'." 

Duff's laughter quickly erupts, and I look at him to see his hand on his mouth to stifle it before he clears his throat. 

"Sorry." He mumbles to Danielle when she looks back at him before turning back to me. 

"I assure you, Vivian, you are a very sexy, very beautiful woman." She promises. 

"Thank you." I smile shyly at her.

"Okay, I was wanting to talk about you a little bit because I feel like people know who you are but not much about you other than what's, I guess, painted on you in a certain way, so if you would tell me who Vivian Sixx is." She crosses her legs, brushing a hair from her eyes as she patiently awaits my answer. 

"Oh, gosh, nobody's asked me that, yet." I blurt, thinking for a moment as she brushes my comment off with a small giggle. "Um," Nikki Sixx's wife, maybe?, "to be honest I'm not sure." I chuckle out, rubbing my lips together. And she looks at me like she fucking pitties me. I force myself to save this close-call shitshow, giving Duff another look and he gives me an encouraging thumbs up as he mouths, "you got this." 

"I dance." I let out, and she raises her brows. "Ballet, not stripping." I clarify. "I have since I could walk." 

"You've never considered a professional career in it?" She asks me next. 

"I was going to but then plans changed and I put off school. But I do plan on going back and finishing at some point." I explain. 

"Did those plans involve your marriage?" She questions and I chuckle a little. 

"I got pregnant--or I thought I got pregnant. It wasn't until after we got married that I found out it was a false positive." I admit. "And I'm sure people are going to say that I was never pregnant, that I was just trying to trap Nikki in a marriage but that's bullcrap because nobody can 'trap' Nikki or make him do something he doesn't want to do, so..." 

"I can’t see him doing anything he doesn’t already want to do.” She agrees with a smile, glancing down at her notes before clearing her throat. “On the lines of Playboy, being that some of our executives saw you in the music video for ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’, you were voted ‘easiest on the eyes’ in this past weeks poll out of eighty-two other women.” She informs me and I raise my brows. “Does stuff like that flatter you or do you see it as misogynistic?”

“Well, um, firstly, I’m sure glad you said ‘on the eyes’ because I was about to ask you who started the survey and where do they live?” I reply and she laughs. “So, I’m glad it wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, but, um…” I lick my lips, letting out a breath. “...I don’t think it’s necessarily misogynistic so I don’t mind it, but I don’t really like the fact that there’s eighty-two other women at risk of feeling less-than now.” I admit. “I appreciate it, though. I’ll take it.”

“You don’t like competition?”

“I do but I’m pitted against women constantly in my personal life or the media tries to, at least, and it’s just stale at this point, you know? It’s stupid.” I rub my forehead.

“Are you referring to what’s recently happened with Vanity?” She blurts and I force myself not to be phased. “Do you have any comment on that particular situation?”

I look at Duff once again, screaming internally while faking a smile.

“It was honestly a misunderstanding.” I lie. “I know we’ve already said it was misunderstanding before but it truly was.”

“Have you spoken to Vanity since?”

“Yes.”

“So, you two are still on good terms, even though she told the world she was engaged to your husband?” She presses more and I brush red hair from my face, trying to keep my tears from growing in my eyes as I see Duff from the corner of my eye, looking at me sympathetically.

“I love her to death.” I say, honestly--even though I shouldn’t love her, I do. Even if she’s a part of the reason my heart broke, I still love her. Even if I’m not acknowledging her existence, I love her. “And I wish and pray nothing but the best for her.” I finish and she grins slightly, knowing she’s getting a good story.

"Is she a woman you've felt like you've needed to compete with?" She asks next, her words hitting me in the gut. 

"Subconsciously, maybe, but I've never gone out of my way to compete with her. I've never had to." 

"What about groupies?" She raises a brow. "Or do you care because you two have been married for a while?" 

"I'm sure a lot of women think, 'oh, I'm married to him so I've won', but I've seen guys take off their wedding rings before walking into a strip club or a bar and leave with three girls under each arm--a marriage doesn't solidify anything we think it does, it should but it doesn't so of course there's been moments where I've been pissed off about women doing everything they can to cross a line but, again, I don't wake up every morning and say, 'what do they have that I don't?' in comparison to groupies. They're termites: they swallow wood, ruin homes, and then it's on to the next." I say and she swallows uncomfortably. 

"Does that not contribute to society's stigmatic view on promiscuous women being 'sluts'?" She asks me. 

"Having sex with people doesn't make a woman, or a man, a slut. Pursuing a taken man or woman, knowing they are taken, makes a slut. Cheating on a significant other makes a slut." I state. 

"What about posing for Playboy while being in a relationship?" She counters. 

"Posing naked doesn't make someone a slut." I defend what I said earlier. 

"Just wanted your view on that since you come from a strict upbringing in the Christian faith, is all." She tells me. "Especially since your mother is bound to hear of all this and probably have plenty to say." 

"I haven't talked to my mother in years so if she has something to say but can't say it directly to my face, it's not worth hearing." I tell her. "My dad is the one I'm antsy about all this happening because of." I feel my skin prickle with nervousness because I never gave much of a thought to my dad seeing me on Playboy. 

"Do you have a good relationship with him?" She asks me, intrigued, and I nod. 

"Yes." I say. "I always will, he's the most important person in my life for sure."

"I think we all thought that'd be Nikki from the way we see you look at him in pictures and in passing." 

"Oh," I say it a little flat, a small inkling of a look coming to her face and before I plant any doubt in her mind, I add, "I'm still completely head-over-heels for him but my dad's always gonna be my number one." 

"Does he and your father get along or does your dad keep his distance, too?"

"No, no, he and my dad get along fine." I assure her. "He really keeps his distance out of respect for my mom, but lately he's been more involved, so...but, no, he doesn't have any problem with Nikki. He really appreciates him and all he's done for me, um, yeah, it's really a blessing they get along." 

At least he did. Before he found out Nikki had an entire mistress...on national television…along with the rest of the country. 

"That is very nice." She agrees. "And what about the other boys, do you get along with them as well?" She refers to Vince, Tommy and Mick. 

"Oh, yeah, absolutely." I rub my lips together.

"Is it true you and Tommy and Vince and our very own Tansy Lyn grew up together?" 

"Yes. I met Tommy in elementary school, and Vince and Tansy in middle school and we've been friends ever since." 

"What are they really like? Outrageous news reports, complaints from parents and the church, girls, parties, drugs and booze aside, what are they authentically like and how do you coincide with them and how has being alongside them from the start of their journey, to now, shaped you?" 

"They seem larger than life and it's hard to see them as anything but that, but I've seen them all be so overwhelmed indescribably with joy, and I've seen them all be completely broken and not know what to do, and I've seen them be piss poor and then have more money than God it seems, but they aren't these huge rockstars behind the scenes. They have diva moments, of course, but Tommy and Vince still act just like the boys they were when I first met them, and the same goes for Nikki and Mick. They act out for publicity, and everything in the press is obviously exaggerated but they're normal guys. They're honestly just regular, gross, messy, disgusting, perverted, immature stinking boys--talented, but still normal." I admit. "And I think the effect it's had on my life is just that I've had to mature faster than maybe I would have because it's like I have children. Like I'm constantly going and someone's going through a crisis whether it's Tommy one day or Vince the next, or whatever so keeping them out of trouble the best I can and then trying to be there and as present as I can be when they need me is stressful but it's rewarding. I like helping out where I can and they need all the help they can get so, it's really helped mature me a little more, I guess, is what I'm trying to say."

"I mentioned earlier their reputation within churches and religious groups and I'm curious as to know how you, as a Christian yourself, feel about songs like 'Shout at the Devil' which really got a rise out of politicians and church-goers everywhere, and most recently 'Wild Side'--which is a song that you are an accredited writer on--that's off of their 'Girls, Girls, Girls' album and is a mockery of the Lord's Prayer?" 

"First of all, to clear this up, I didn't write anything in 'Wild Side', Nikki asked what the Lord's Prayer was and I told him and his brilliant mind gave me a writing credit which will plague me the rest of my life, I suppose, but to answer your question...it's 'Shout at the Devil', not 'Shout with the Devil', therefor it doesn't bother me. Now, 'Wild Side' bothers me. A lot. But that's a way Nikki felt when writing it, and I'm not going to tell him those feelings aren't valid just because I don't feel the same way. That's not fair to him, and I'm certainly not ever going to tell him not to express himself and channel how he feels into his work because that's what makes music and art individual and unique. So, it doesn't matter how I feel. If it makes him happy and he's proud of it then that's that and if I don't like it or don't agree with it or find it insulting to my beliefs then I just, 'forgive him, God, he knows not what he does' and just get over it." 

"Do you think there will be a new 'Filthy Fifteen'?" 

"I would say Tipper Gore and her group of desperate, dry, housewives can go get screwed by other men because their husband's are clearly inadequate but then I suppose they can't find bigger pricks than who they're married to, so..." I blurt and she widens her eyes, a little smirk on her lips as she laughs. 

"I take it you weren't a fan of the censorship?" 

"The only plus side to censorship and stickering everything is that kids know what to play in front of their parents and what to save for themselves." I finish and she chuckles some more. 

I talked some more about marrying so young, what it was like being married to one of the biggest names in rock music at that time and so on, all while hiding the fact that once I left there, I was going to go back to the tour, sleep in a separate room than my husband, not talk to the friends I grew up with who were supposed to have my back, and be so completely miserable.

The moment Duff and I leave the room once I've said goodbye and thanked everyone who was apart of the process for my shoot, I feel lightheaded. 

"Viv?" Duff asks me, concerned, and I take deep breaths, bracing against the wall. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I lie, nodding a little. "Just tired, I think." 

My voice cracks painfully and my tears are already beading at my lashline. 

"Viv, if you need a second--"

"--No, I'm fine. We gotta go." I deny, making myself walk again before he stops me. "Duff…" before I can argue, he's putting his bass down and pulling me to him, hugging me tightly. 

I give up, knowing that he knows me too damn well to buy my shit. 

I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his chest, feeling my tears, hot against my cheek, soak into the fabric of his t-shirt as the warmth of his lips press comfortingly to my hair. 

[nat-20s]

PROMPT! the first time the s1 archive gang hangs out outside of work (any variation of the group, doesn’t have to be All of them)

This is only the Archive Assistant sqaud, bc I’m sorry Jon, but no bosses allowed. Also it’s VERY silly and soft bc sometimes u just wanna write nice things u know

(also also fuck I lovecompletely missed that this said “first time” they hang out but uhh. I hope u like it anyway.)

Tim Stoker like to think that, sometimes, not to toot his own horn, but he can be something of a genius. When a cousin’s cousin had offered to let him use their cozy little cabin for a night or two in exchange for help with moving, he had been struck with what could only be humbly described as “inspiration of the most divine nature”. For, as nice as a Friday evening away from it all by himself sounds, it’s so much nicer for a Friday evening away from it all to serve as Archival Assistants Bonding Time™. Or well, more like Tim and Sasha, Who Are Already Best Friends Forever, Figure Out What Martin’s Deal Is, Because For A Guy So Chatty, He Sure Is Mysterious Time™, but that’s not nearly as catchy. Truly, his plan was brilliant, bringing two compatriots and an excessive amount of food and drink to a spot away from the prying eyes of the world and bosses, and feast in the openness and silliness that comes from having a great fucking time.

His plan, and his genius, were tragically derailed. While he knew on their drive up that the air was rapidly getting cooler, Tim couldn’t have even pretended to predict that an hour into their stay would bring a freak blizzard that means they’re snowed in for the next three days, which was 3 times longer than he had accounted on spending with his coworkers/friends. There was more than enough food to last them, and almost enough alcohol, but as Sasha so kindly put it:

“First you make us reenact the first scene of every bad teen slasher movie, now there’s a fucking white out. If we lose power, I’m telling you, there is absolutely going to be a murder.”

“Pfft, no way. The guy who owns this place is one of those weird ass prepper types, there’s a back up generator for the back up generator. And even if we did lose power, we’re all much more the “huddle for warmth under a shared blanket in front of the roaring fire” types than the “get panicked and stab someone in darkness” types, right? Back me up here, Marto.”

Martin, who at three shots in is both hilarious and mean, directs his response to Sasha. “in the event of a black-out I vote we kill Tim. I can take him down and you can finish the job.”

Sasha tips her cup at him, saying, “I like the way you think,” at the same time that Tim yells out, “Hey! Why am I the one dying?!”

Sasha tells him, “Duh. This whole thing was your idea, which makes you the Dr. Black* of this situation. Any good mansion murder mystery dictates the the host dies first. Then, in a moment of entirely unplanned synchronization, her and Martin start chanting, “Host dies first! Host dies first!”

“Okay, you know what? Fuck both of y’all, it’s not my fault that you’re both thoroughbred city slickers that can’t handle being in a cabin with plumbing and running water and electricity. Didn’t either of you go camping as kids?”

Sasha replies “No I’m far too pretty for that,” while Martin bursts out laughing. It takes about 20 seconds for him to settle down. Wiping away a tear, he elaborates, “Sorry, sorry, just. Can not imagine my mother on a camping trip.  I mean, sure, she probably hoped at one point or another that I’d be lost in the woods as a child, or maybe even now, but I think that’s a bit different.”

Tim leans over the kitchen counter, placing his chin in his hands as he says, “Oh shit, Martin lore. Spill the deets.”

Sasha, who’s loyalties tend to sway towards whatever’s most interesting in the moment, piles on with, “You called her your mother, not your mum. That’s means she’s pretty much a right bastard, or a member of the aristocracy, which is just another term for right bastard but you got to grow up as a rich kid. Am I right?”

It’s clear the the two of them have made a grave mistake. All joviality flees Martin’s expression, and he shrinks down both his physical presence and his voice to something that could easily be overlooked if someone wasn’t paying attention. “Oh, um, well, I definitely didn’t grow up as a rich kid. And, it terms of the ‘right bastard’ thing, she’s not- er. That’s to say, she’s- she’s sick and. She’s doing the best she can, given, given everything.”

Martin pointedly looks at his hands while Tim and Sasha panickedly look at each other. They go to either side of him, and when he doesn’t flinch away, they each place a comforting hand on his shoulder. Tim immediately feels the itch to fill the heavy quiet, and he happens to know he has quite the talent for blazing on ahead after these kinds of moments. It’s how he’s survived basically party for the past decade. “Ooookay, I’m gonna go ahead and say that all depressing familial reveals shall be held off until at least the second night of being trapped. While Sasha may have irritatingly few skeletons in her closet in that regard-”

“I have Tory grandparents?”

“We all have Tory grandparents Sash, that’s absolutely nothing. As I was saying, while Sash’s family is boring and semi functional, you and me are gonna do some fuckin’ commiserating on our journey from work friends to friend friends. However, I’m going to have to be 40% drunker, go through a decently strong hangover, and then once again get hair of the dog drunk before I can even start to consider heading down that path. And in that spirit, I think it’s time to start up the drinking games. Truth or dare might end up a bit too heavy for our needs, but Never Have I Ever should suit us just fine. I know I’m gonna regret saying this considering Sasha is 100% going to target my ass, but I think we should establish that whoever puts all ten fingers down first has to chug the rest of the box wine.”

Sasha pipes up with, “Ugh, no, not drinking games, that’s such twenty-something bullshit. I expected better from you.”

“Hey, Martin is a twenty-something, so that still works fine actually-”

“Tim!”

“What?”

Martin’s directing wide, bordering on frantic, eyes at him, and Tim is almost certainly missing something, though he can’t for the life of him figure it out. Sasha’s head is bobbing slightly between the two of them, and shes apparently able to parse what Tim has not. “Oh! Martin, uh, I already know that you’re 2, and it’s cool.”

“Did..did Tim tell you or?”

Tim scoffs out an “I wouldn’t!” even though there’s a distinct possibility that, entirely on accident, he would, and Sasha makes a reassuring coo. “No, no, babe, nothing like that. It’s just that, uh, the Magnus Institute is kind of notorious for not doing any background checks pretty much ever, so when I get a new coworker, I..do it myself.”

Martin’s face blanches, and his eyes somehow get even wider. “Oh god, please don’t tell Jon or Elias, I know I don’t have the credentials, but I really need-”

“Woah, woah, I’m not gonna do that. First of all, archival assistant squad, we ride together we die together in a snowed in god forsaken log cabin, secondly, it’d be hypocritical as fuck if I got up your ass about qualifications. Not a single one of us is qualified for our jobs, not even Jon. Maybe especially not Jon. It’s like, raise your hand if you have a degree in library sciences. No one? Okay, cool, that’s not weird at all for an archive. Actually, maybe bring that up next time he gives you shit. He’ll be all like ‘bluh bluh, you didn’t document this spooky bullshit well enough, it’s not up to the High Standards here at Spooky Bullshit Emporium’ and you can be like ‘whatever buddy, you’re an English major, what do you fuckin’ know?’. It’ll be devastating. He’ll be devastated.”

Martin laughs in the manner of someone who knows that they shouldn’t be, and his shoulders relax into  a lower position. “Why would you want me to devastate him? I thought you guys were friends?”

“We are, which is why we all collectively need to get back at Jon for acting like such a prick. He’s always been a bit temperamental, but I honestly don’t get what his deal is, especially with you. I mean, c’mon, you’re great, being mean to you is like kicking a puppy.”

“Thanks? I think?”

Tim pipes up with, “Oooo, since drinking games are apparently too childish for Sasha, what if instead we play ‘What’s Jon’s Deal Anyway, Featuring, Seriously, Why Target Martin, The Baby of The Archives’-”

“-That feels a bit reductive of who I am and I also I think I’m technically older than Jon?-”

“-Whoever comes up with the best explanation, and by best obviously I mean most entertaining, gets an all expense paid trip from the other two to one of the charity shops I know we all frequent.”

Sasha snorts, “Wow, a whole twenty quid, who could resist such temptation. But also, I’m in, I think I have a winner and I have a violent need to out-cardigan Jon.”

Martin’s relaxation is gone again, which Tim thinks need to be fixed through aggressively passing a glass of wine towards him. He takes it without protest, takes a long drink, and says, “This seems more like 3 am conversation than a 9 pm one.”

Sasha gives an encouraging nudge, prompting another drink, and replies, “Yeah, well, I am not gonna make it to 3 am. I’ve got about an hour until the Alcohol Sleepiness sets in, and I know Tim will be right behind me.”

“Sashaaaaaa, you’re ruining my reputation as a young-at-heart, party-all-night kind of guy.”

“Babe, you’ve complained about your bones aching often enough that you’ve never had that reputation.”

“Surrounded by mean drunks, that’s what I am. I should be pitied.”

Martin shoots a glance towards Sasha, then replies, “You’d be more pitiable if this entire thing wasn’t, you know, entirely your own fault.”

Sasha nods sagely, “It’s true. If you were pitiable then maybe you wouldn’t have to die first.”

“You know what? I am uncomfortable with the energy that’s been created in this room, how about we divert some of that towards complaining about our bosses, as coworkers who are hanging out and having a good time and not bullying me are supposed to do.”

Sasha giggles slightly as she leans down and presses a kiss to Tim’s cheek. “Aw, sorry, Tim. I promise to double cross Martin when if becomes killing time.”

Tim melts a little, even as he’s replying, “Wait, when?” Martin takes another sip and says, “Whatever. I could take you both.”

How the hell are you supposed to resist a set up like that? With an over the top wink and cheesy grin, Tim says, “I bet you could, big guy.”

He’s expecting a slightly flustered reaction, maybe a higher pitched voice and a blush, if he’s lucky. He gets all of those things, but it’s Sasha saying, “Oh my god.” Martin only gives him a raised eyebrow and level stare, and Tim makes a mental note to reevaluate his dedication to only considering Martin in a strictly platonic fashion. Sasha continues talking, cutting through the..tension? with, “Okay, now I am uncomfortable with the energy that’s been created in this room. Tim, tell the studio audience what you think is up with Jon.”

Tim blinks, hard, gives a shake of his head, and says, “Oh, obviously the Jon we know is dead. His ‘promotion’ to Head Archivist was actually Elias killing him off and replacing him with a robot that has the command If: see Martin Then: be dick. Don’t worry Marto, now that Sasha is aware of the issue, she’ll surely be able to reprogram him.”

Sasha hums a bit, then says, “I buy it. I think my explanation’s better, but Elias does seem the “kill a dude and replace him” type. Like if I was gonna suspect any particular person of murder he’s in the top five.”

“Seriously? Elias? Somehow has middle manager vibes even though he’s the head honcho Elias? Mr. ‘I probably wore boat shoes and khaki shorts for the entirety of university’ Bouchard? Voted most likely to put a thin layer of mayo in between two pieces of white bread and claim it’s a sandwich Elias? The area man that’s almost certainly gone on record as saying that golf and networking are his favorite hobbies Elias? He’s far too boring to have committed a murder.”

Tim’s looking at Martin with shock and delight, and he knows Sasha is wearing the exact same expression. “More of this. Please describe more of the things that Elias is.”

“I mean, sure? Uhh, guy that would pay $80 for a dime bag because you told him it’s a premium strain. Person that ironically says things like “kids these days” and “the youths” and you know he’s talking about people well into their 30s. Genuinely believes that if you can afford a cell phone then you shouldn’t be complaining about being  poor, because apparently a one time purchase of around a hundred bucks is the same as trying to pay monthly rent. Tells people to haul themselves up by their bootstraps. Thinks he got to where he was ‘without anybody’s handouts’ even though he’s had a trust fund since he was 15. Writes weekly editorials to the local newspaper complaining about the liberalization of media, and they’re like ‘sir, please stop submitting to us, we’re just trying to talk about Lisa’s gardening club’ because they can’t professionally tell him to fuck off. Thinks salt and pepper are the only spices one could ever possibly need, everything else is simply excessive. Somehow gay and homophobic. Like, yes, he’s taken a male lover, but he’s also seconds away from calling you a slur at any one time. Actually, no, that’s too interesting, and I refuse to believe he’s had a lover. Legally, he cannot have a lover, I’ve decided, so just gay and homophobic, both in theory alone. Has said that Boris Johnson is “a bit much, but really not so bad, and much better than any of the alternatives, really.” All of the cousins in his family banded together and officially got him banned from any sort of major holiday dinners. Basically every shitty boss you’ve ever had, especially if you’ve worked retail, rolled into one.”

Tim lets out a low whistle. “Damn, all right. Get fucked Elias.”

Sasha emphatically agrees, “Get fucked Elias.”

They all clink their glasses together, and then there’s a beat of silence before Martin says, “I’m pretty sure robots can’t get eye bags.”

Tim and Sasha let out a “huh” and “hmm?” respectively, so Martin elaborates. “You posited that Jon had been replaced with a robot. Pretty sure robots aren’t able to look that tired.”

Tim snaps. “Drat, you’ve pointed out the one flaw in my impeccable logic. So what d’you think is up with him? I know you don’t have the Before The Archives comparison, but I think you could provide a fresh perspective.”

“Oh, fuck, I don’t know. Two months ago, I might have had some choice words, but first off, you all genuinely got on, so it didn’t really make sense for him to be awful all the time, and secondly ever since the, um, worm thing, he’s actually been pretty nice? I haven’t heard any snide comments, and whenever I mess something up he’s a lot more, um, gentle about explaining what wrong. He actually complimented my work the other day so. I guess I think Jon’s deal was that he was stressed out and I was very nervous and not very good at my job and he picked up on that?”

“So you think he’s like a horse.”

“Explain.”

“He sensed your fear and he became skittish and irritable in kind.”

“Horses can sense fear?”

“Horses can sense everything.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Right?”

“Guys, we’ve gone on like four different tangents in one conversation. Martin, I’m very glad to hear that Jon’s changed his behavior towards, because it means I don’t have to yell at him on your behalf, you’re getting to see the person that me and Tim both know who is actually pretty cool, and also mostly because it feeds perfectly into my winning theory.”

“What, you’ve got something better than Martin’s ‘accurate but boring’ reasoning or my ‘super cool but now that I think about it for .5 seconds actually kind of a bummer robot’ knowledge?”

Sasha’s incredibly self-assured when she says, “I sure fuckin’ do. Jon’s secretly been in love with Martin the whole time, and he’s been previously overcompensating by acting like he hates him.” which makes Tim choke on air and Martin emphatically reply, “Fuck off, he is not.”

“No, no, hear me out, I have, I have receipts, as the kids say. First point of evidence: Martin’s stupid hot, and there’s no way that Jon is straight, so obviously he’s not gonna be impervious to that.”

“What?”

“Oh come off it Martin, it’s just a fact. Like, me personally? I don’t even do the whole romance thing, but the first time I ever saw you I blacked out slightly and thought ‘Now there’s a man I could raise some ferrets with.’.”

“I, um, I, well. Is that...supposed to be a euphemism for something?”

“What? No, I’ve just always wanted ferrets, and asking someone to raise pets with you is like the height of romance, I’m pretty sure. Back me up here Tim.”

“On the ferret thing or the Martin hot thing?”

“Either? Both.”

“Aight. Yes, asking someone to raise ferrets with you is basically a marriage proposal if that someone is Sasha, and I hate to break it to you Martin, but you’re incredibly good-looking. We’re all incredibly good-looking, to the point where I think the only qualification for the archives staff is being a straight up hottie. OH! We should name the group chat “straight up hottie squad”. Anyway, yep, point for Sasha.”

“Not a point for Sasha, even if I believe you about about my, em, physical attractiveness,-”

“-Don’t have to put belief in a fact, Marto-”

“-that doesn’t mean anything. By that logic, he’s equally as likely to be in love with either of you, and my money would be on Sasha if it was anyone, because you’re clearly his favorite.”

“Ah, but that’s exactly why it isn’t me, but thank you for the transition into my second point which is: Jon is the kind of person that sees anything that might make him vulnerable and starts aggressively defending himself against it, and what’s more vulnerable than a crush? He’s not crushing on Tim, because Tim’s fucking great, but sometimes he’s also the walking, talking embodiment of sensory overload, and while I myself I love that, Jon clearly gets a bit overwhelmed by it at times. He’s not into me, because he knows better than that, and overall I’m pretty non-threatening to his whole thing, so of course he’s going to be the most relaxed around me. You, on the other hand, are single, hot, kind to animals and people alike, and make a great cup of tea. Incredibly crush worthy, thus incredibly threatening, thus Jon acting like That.”

“Hmm, this still seems like something that comes from watching one too many corny rom coms, and that’ s coming from someone who loves corny rom coms.”

“I also love corny rom coms, but that’s completely beside the point. Because, okay, sure, if Jon had just been a weird asshole to you, I wouldn’t be like ‘oh, yeah, that’s a classic case of covering for something’ but you’re right about him being nicer since the worm thing. So nice, in fact, I shall be bringing in Timothy as my star witness that’s going to blow this whole case wide open. Martin, you may not have heard how Jon has started to talk about you, but me and Tim sure have.”

“God, yeah. Like if we thought he wouldn’t shut up about you before-

“-which he wouldn’t-”

“it’s gotten way worse now.”

“I think the whole life threatening worm woman flipped a switch for him and now he’s all fuckin. ‘Oh, Martin should stay in the archives, let me give him the place that I sleep.”

“Oh, Martin, I don’t think he should go out on too many research trips anymore, I’d much prefer for him to be ~nice and close~”

“Oh, Martin, good lord, did you know that his tea is quite good? I’m think it might actually be the best I’ve ever had.”

“Oh, Martin, his work’s rather improved, don’t you think? It’s really quite impressive, especially considering all the stress he’s had to endure.”

“Oh, Martin, I just want him to take me into his big, strong arms and whisk me away from all of this.”

“He did not fucking say that last one.”

Sasha throws her arms up in the air. “He may as well have!”

Nodding sagely, Tim replies, “This whole thing holds water. I vote Sasha gets the shopping trip. Martin?”

Martin stares at his drink as if it has any ability to give him any sort of answers, then lets out a sigh with his entire body. “You know what? It’s probably nicer than whatever the fuck is the truth, so sure, why not? Let’s get Sasha her cardigans.”

Sasha lets out a whoop. “Hell yeah! Can’t wait for spree, assuming all three of us get out of this cabin alive.”

“Okay, nope, clearly Sasha needs another distraction. Got any suggestions, Martin?”

“Uh, wasn’t a karaoke machine part of the sales pitch for this place?”

“Martey babey, yes! I wouldn’t have thought you’d spring for that sort of thing!”

“If this were a public bar or something where I’d have to listen to drunk strangers and they’d have to listen to me, then no, I’d rather have my brain pulled through my nose a la mummification. But with only you guys and fourish drinks in? I’m down to clown.”

“Sash, you with us?”

“Dunno, what songs are there?”

Tim shrugs, and heads to the storage closet that contains all the various entertainment equipment. It takes a bit of searching, and a bit more digging, but he’s able to unearth the ancient portable karaoke machine. He also grabs some of the jigsaws, mostly on the thought that sometimes a bitch just wants to hang out with their friends and do a puzzle. Also because in light of the fact that they’re stuck inside with no sort of access to the outside world for two days longer than planned, there’s pretty much no way that they’re not going to reach a point where they all say fuck it let’s do a puzzle.

Plugging in the machine, it takes a solid several minutes to boot up, which is the perfect length of time to take it upon himself to take one for the team and chug the box wine himself, with Sasha and Martin chanting in the background. When he finishes, they cheer, and then Martin immediately shoves a glass of water for him to down as well, muttering something about how he wants him to be alive in the morning. Tim can tell he’s well inebriated by now, because the simple thoughtful gesture is enough to make him a little bit misty-eyed, and Sasha can attest to alcohol turning him into the world’s biggest sap. In order to avoid prevent himself from becoming the kind of person who says “I love you” in a gradually more sloppy repeat, he starts flipping through the discography of the now running machine. “Alright y’all, it looks like we got 80s songs or...80s songs. Ooo, they have the Grease 2 soundtrack.”

That gets him a well deserved “No!” from both parties, with Sasha adding on, “Not even if it was Grease 1. I’m putting an embargo on musical theater in general.”

“Oh come on, some musicals are better than other. Right, Marto?”

“I’m with Sasha on this one.”

“Boo. But fine, what do you want?”

Martin and Sasha glance at each other, and Tim’s amazed at how well the bonding night-turned-long-weekend has gone so far, considering they seem to have already mastered the art of silent communication. Martin speaks first, with, “They got Dolly Parton?”

The process of scrolling through individual letters to type is achingly slow, but luckily all he needs to get through is “DO” before she shows up. “They do.”

Sasha says, “Do they got 9 to 5, by Dolly Parton?”

Tim’s eyes light up with realization as he says, “They do,” and in a moment of spontaneous understanding, all three of them know that they’re not simply going to sing 9 to 5. No, they’re going to do a  full blown music video for the benefit for nobody but themselves, because why the fuck not.

The next hour is spent in a very silly fashion. They figure out how to use the cabin’s layout to their advantage, assign various parts of the song to each person, and practice their inexpert choreography a few times with the song tinnily blasting from Sasha’s phone. The final result is hardly of professional quality, but it is of making them all giggle quality. It starts off in a relay like manner, each of them in a different area to coordinate with “Tumble of out bed and stumble to the kitchen” (Sasha on the couch), “Pour myself a cup of ambition”, (Tim at the coffemaker), and “Yawn and stretch and try to come to life” (Martin at the fridge), with them finally crowding around the karaoke machine together to scream sing the chorus. Despite their practice, they quickly go off key, and while they might end up with low points for accuracy, they get full marks on enthusiasm.

When the song ends, it takes them a few minutes to settle down into something less giddy. As they do, Sasha, out of breath, says, “Fuck me, I’m sleepy now. What the hell?”

Tim hums in affirmation. “Goddammit, I’m tired too. Let me guess, Martin, you’re young enough that you could go all night?”

“No? I’ve never pulled an all-nighter in my life. Actually, I know that it was supposed to be in case the power went out, but huddling together under a blanket in front of a fire sounds really nice? I mean, um, if you guys were down.”

Sasha leans her head against Martin’s shoulder and takes on the expression of a deeply content cat. “Mmm, I call Martin, he’s warm.”

“Absolutely not, I also want to leech Martin’s warmth. You good with being in the middle?”

Martin’s practically beaming, but his voice manages to almost fake being put upon. “I suppose it’s a sacrifice I could make.”

With Sasha already half asleep, Martin brings her over to the couch, while Tim gets them all set up. He manages to find the kind of big, fluffy blanket that all cabins should contain and wraps it around their shoulders. Luckily for them, the fireplace is gas lit and can be put on a timer. He sets it for 30 minutes, even though all three of them are going to be long passed out before them. Sasha is already softly snoring away, and Martin’s head keeps drifting down and snapping back up. Tim curls up against Martin’s other side, and even though all three of them are going to wake up with aching backs and worse heads, he thinks he really just might be a genius after all.

*Why is Mr. Boddy’s name Dr. Black in the UK. I hate that. Why would you not have the dumb joke of  naming the victim “boddy”. Hey brits explain your crimes.

[whatiwillsay]

Hey, i am kinda a believer that josh and karlie it's real but what i could never understand is the fact that josh is a kushner, like karlie's sister in law is a trump, and while karlie is not my fave person she doesn't seem like someone that would stand for that u know. Personally talking from experience i cannot date someone who votes the opposite from me (im not american but my country is also divided), do you think josh is not a fan of trump? Im curious to know your thoughts. Hope you arewell

i’m doing great anon thanks for the kind wishes.

i don’t really know...i don’t follow karlie too closely precisely due to her association with the kushners. it does appear that josh has always presented himself as the “good liberal kushner”...they make the right moves publicly at least. supporting the blm movement, showing up at pride events, encouraging mask wearing, voting...however i don’t think you can show up to family events where ivanka trump is present and still in good faith present yourself as some woke liberal. i wanna like karlie i really do...and you know to some level i DO like her! she’s cute and funny! kaylor was an epic ship. she supports lots of good causes.

sigh idk. when there’s this much money involved i don’t think you should trust anyone. they may say they’re liberal but their bank accounts say gazillionaires and that makes me say eat the rich!

on the other hand you can’t change the family you’re born into.

those of you that think joshlie is 100% fake please explain still stanning karlie or wanting kaylor to be a thing because she could literally beard with ANYONE and not be tied to this toxic dumpster fire of a family...if they’re somewhat real then at least she chose him for love.

i have heard things behind the scenes that make me believe joshlie is real just messy but you know take that with a grain of salt and form your own opinions.

[the-wintershade]

— things ain’t what they used to be

pairing: sam wilson x f!reader x bucky barnes summary: bucky’s words get into your head and your dancing skills falter, threatening the partnership you and sam have built, but he is always there to listen and to encourage. In the process, you get closer than you thought. wc: 4.9k+  genre: angsty, flirting, deeper talks, secrets coming out

Blue Shade: series — masterlist | 03

You couldn’t let yourself be as carefree as you once were. No matter how you tried to force out Bucky’s words, they were in there, ingrained in a part of your brain that you couldn’t access or change.

It became noticeable when you showed up for class the next week.

You were stiffer, heavier on your feet, and avoided Sam’s glancing eyes more intentionally. 

You felt awful, horrible that words that should have fallen on shut ears wormed their way into your head. Like you were a pawn, a slave to his bidding. You didn’t want the words there, you wanted nothing to do with his fowl corrupting phrases of false assurance. It was like a gambit, a lure of something genuine with the price of your soul attached to it.

You didn’t want to trade anything. You didn’t want the deal, but your mind already decided for you.

And Sam was suffering for it.

The instructor seems to notice as well as she stops and frowns more than once in your direction. Steve and Peggy are dancing fabulously, but have a diminished energy, as if your change has affected them too. Natasha mouths are you okay? over her shoulder as she twists around Clint.

You try to nod and put on your best smile, but it feels plastic, robotic. It’s more done out of habit than a truthful response. 

It was always like this being with Bucky, but if that’s what it took, you would pay the price. You could go back. It could be like it used to be.

You trip over Sam’s foot for the fourth time since the class began fifteen minutes ago and a heavy sigh spreads through you, your grip loosening on Sam’s hand. He holds your hand firmer when you falter, but doesn’t move any closer. 

“You alright?” His face twists with worry and you kick yourself mentally for letting Bucky throw you off this much. “Do you need to take a break?”

Irritation bubbles in your chest at the suggestion. It’s not his fault that you’re so off your game, but you didn’t want to quit. That meant that Bucky won. That somehow he’d made you a toy to play with that remained completely obedient to his beck and call. 

“No.” You breathe, knowing that your frustration was on display despite that you’d tried to shove it down. “No, I just….” You pulled your hand off his shoulder and ran it through your hair, collecting your thoughts. Glancing down, you practiced moving in a box like you’d done before, perfectly. 

“Okay.” He nodded and moved with you. “Try taking the lead. I’ll follow you.” His gaze was gentle and patient as he waited for you to get your stance in order before moving. You took your first few steps and he mirrored you completely, easily. 

He had no problems keeping up with you and your hesitating movements. He made it look simple, like he was just breathing, and it was your turn to be in awe of him.

“What, Coffee Girl?” He smirked, the first time he’d joked around with you since class started. “Surprised that I can follow as well as I can lead?”

You closed your mouth as you looked up to him. It was that same hint of playfulness and warmth that he always showed you. It felt unfair that he was taking the brunt of your internal war and your heart squooze at your behavior. Shame flared across your features, making your skin molten. 

By the time you were ready to form an answer, you were too devastated to form words. You just kind of gave a weak chuckle and kept trying not to step on his feet.

“Alright.” He dropped your hand and created distance between you two. You struggled to adjust to the drop in temperature, feeling strangely empty and devoid of energy. Sadness threatened to envelop you at the pain you were causing. Your eyes started watering uncontrollably. 

He cleared his throat excessively loud and everyone paused. “Excuse the interruption, but I think that we all deserve a break right?” He gestured at Steve and Peggy who stopped swaying mid swing. Steve looked from Sam to you and nodded his head. He turned to the dance instructor. 

“I think a five minute break wouldn’t harm anyone.” She agreed with a slight sly undercurrent underneath that felt directed towards you in a way.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I vote for a dance break. Perhaps with a selection of more danceable music.” Sam struts over to the speaker in a way that almost broke your tight lipped frown into a smile. Almost. The jazzy funk of Marvin Gaye began spinning around the hall, changing the quiet, cautious sounds of a piano and serenading trumpet into groovy percussion and a calming guitar. 

Sam nodded his head enthusiastically while Steve laughed at his antics. His eyes glimmered with a hidden inside joke that you wouldn’t get. 

He boogies his way to Steve and Peggy who fumble around in a mess of unsynchronized tempo and jerky movements but they began to fall into this 50s inspired groove that seems to work in sync with the music. You’re surprised at their knowledge of such an older style but it’s nice to see them break out of the formality that the waltz demands.

A man who’s name you learned was Vis, short for some extensive name you weren’t really paying that much attention to, got booty bumped by a funky Sam and looked like a deer in headlights. You almost giggled then and watched as Wanda began to shake and jump around. Vis’s face turned beet red, which happened every time he was even a bit embarrassed.

After some whoops and hollers from Wanda, Vis tried to move on the beat with her, holding her hands like he needed her for balance instead of guidance. They stumble through the steps together, but at least they are having fun. Wanda’s beautiful smile warms Vis to the core; it’s easy to see.

Sam attempts to drag Natasha and Clint into the action but both hold up hands, clearly conveying that’s never gonna happen. He shoots finger guns at them and spins around to make a b-line for you. 

You shake  your head furiously in denial and begin to back up, but Sam is insistent and presses in closer until he’s toe to toe with you. He draws your hands into his as you take a deep breath involuntarily and shakes his hips a little, teasing you with his eyes as he pours it on thick. “Oh, mercy mercy me,” He hums showing you that he won’t back down until you join him.

You begin to giggle and he alights with color, the whites of his teeth show. He tries to tamper it though and twirls his hand around to spin you in a circle. You follow his subtle direction and pivot around his hand as the orchestral part of the song begins to take over.

He pulls you in, wiggling his shoulders and guiding you through a modified waltz that’s much less challenging and more relaxing. It’s more about moving to the beat and adding pizzazz to what’s already there. It’s fun and you're smiling in no time, Bucky’s words drifting out of your mind.

He booty bumps you. You both fall into a bundle of awkwardly spasming bodies and outburst of mirth.

Sam watches you with laughter, his brown cheeks becoming little balls of happiness on his face. His eyes drip in amusement and enjoyment. He’s the party and the entertainment all in one.

You hold on to his light even as the song fades, even as the class resumes and you’re back in his warm, safe arms again, flowing through the moves in perfect harmony. He feels warmer now, renewed at the quick break that’s brought back your smile. You feel like Bucky’s words were nothing but a terrible, horrible dream that’ll dissolve by standing next to your sun, next to your Sam.

…

Sam digs into his burger as you take a reasonable bit of your own, watching him just as he watches you. It’s not creepy or intimidating, but more of a familiar thing to do. You’ve been observing each other for some time now, soon after introductions were established, so this was nothing unusual. 

But Sam’s gaze held something deeper, a twinge of confusion and dissatisfaction wafted through his deeply colored eyes. You wanted to ask, but waited. It might not be something that you were quite ready to answer yet. You resolved to finish chewing your part of the burger and look outside at the rushing traffic, at the way the light bounces off buildings and makes the sidewalk brighter.

Sure enough, when you’re ready to reach for your drink, Sam’s question beats you to it. “What happened yesterday?”

It’s a question that he has a right to an answer, especially with how it conflicted with your dancing abilities, but you don’t want to lay too much on him. After all, these were your issues to deal with, dumping your problems on him were unfair. 

“Nothing,” You compromise, hoping that the words would be just enough to convince him that some was definitely wrong but you weren’t ready to really get into it. “Just a little tired and irritated, that’s all.”

He doesn’t like the way you sigh. His shoulders hunch a little and his eyebrows furrow closer together when he hears something that upsets him. The fact that you knew that, surprises you, but you brush it off as getting to know each other over these past few days.

“(Name), be honest with me,” He pauses, his voice softening with an edge of seriousness. “I deserve that much.”

You almost cringe. He’s right, but you still don’t really want to say what really happened. You don’t want to upset him or make him angry for your sake. That, he doesn’t deserve. You also don’t want him to take on anything. You’ll solve this.

“If I tell you,” You fiddle with your straw, leaning back in your chair like you have the winning hand in a game of blackjack. “You have to promise me, that you won’t get upset.”

He leans forward, his concern rising in his eyebrows and darkening expression. “I can do that.” He tries to smooth out the creases that formed in the last few seconds, but a few still strain against him, telling you that he’s already upset.

You sigh and mess with your fingers in your lap, refusing to look him in the eye, to watch him become disgruntled with what you’re about to say. You explain what happened when you got home, how Bucky’s arms held you restrainedly tight against him and how he tried to convince you that Sam was just trying to use you, to play you in some way.

By the time you looked up, Sam wasn’t all the way upset, his shoulders were hunched still but his eyes were wide and hurt. That damaged you the most.

He leaned back when you made eye contact and looked away, his fingers running across his chin absentmindedly. When he was ready, which took some time, he dared to gaze back at you before sitting forward. “Do you not trust me?”

What? That’s the farthest thing from the truth. Of course you trusted him, this wasn’t about that. “I trust you.” You answered with more determination than you thought you were capable of and stared him directly in the eyes as you said so, assuring him that there were falsities in your statement. You know he accepts your answer as his shoulders drop in relief. 

He looks down and takes a breath before continuing. “Then why were you all over the place today?”

You close your eyes in frustration. “Because he doesn’t know you. Because I know you wouldn’t do something like that.” You sigh and stare at the table. “I was angry that his words got to me like that. I didn’t believe for a second that the words were true, but the fact that he knows just how to get a rise out of me made me unbelievably frustrated.”

When you don’t look at him, he reaches across the table and brushes his fingers against your deathly tight grip on your cup. Your hand loosens on contact as you take a sharp breath, a flush moving to your cheeks, a shiver riverbrating down your spine. “Thank you for telling me.” He murmurs, his gaze warm and more sultry than you remember.

Your hand inches out to that lightning strike that buzzes between your hands, but you restrain yourself and let it fall open onto the table. “Thank you,” You minutely smile. “For believing me.”

“Am I stepping on anything, by inviting you to dance with me?” He looks genuinely concerned and it breaks your heart all over again. His warmth and light that you don’t deserve.

“No. It was my choice to agree to dance with you and Bucky just has jealousy problems that he needs to sort out himself.” Your jaw locks when you say the words, but you’re much calmer now. The heat that runs through your veins isn’t from anger.

Sam nods and returns to eating. You do the same. 

A question bubbles up through your chest, an idea you previously ignored but now brought to your attention through its neglect. “That day I met you at the party, why were you there?” Your eyes are guarded, but not closed. You’re concerned that it took you so long to ask.

Sam smirks and finishes swallowing before responding. “Ah, so now you ask.” 

You bite your cheek to keep a smirk of your own from capturing your face. “I didn’t realize you were actively trying to keep it a secret.”

“No, not a secret. I was just wondering when your curiosity would finally get through.” 

You only hum in response, leaning away from the table, gesturing for him to continue.

He chuckles. “I know Willow.” 

The words hit you like a train and the smile fell straight off your face. The girl that Bucky disappeared with, while you were still there. The girl that knew you and Bucky had something going on but refused to keep her hands off him. Not like he was any better.

He watched your face harden and sobered up a bit. “I also met her in college. She invited me to a few art shoes she was doing as an amature artist. I knew there was something else behind her innocence.” He leans forward and sighs. “But when I explained my obvious disinterest in her, she backed off and turned out to be a surprisingly good friend.”

Your blood sizzled, a twisting knot of hot anger coiling and moulding in your stomach. It wasn’t about Bucky, but Sam and just as the realization caught in your mind, your inklings of rage dissipated in a second. Why is it all about Sam this whole time?

You closed your eyes and unfurled your fist, the half-moons the only remnants of your restrained vexation. 

Sam’s eyes drilled into your head. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft and deep, full of worry and anxiety.

“Yep.” You grit the words out between your closed teeth, allowing the flames to sputter and fizzle out before opening your eyes again. “Just...fine.” You peel your eyes open slowly and see Sam’s frown. Your face smoothes itself at his concern. You don’t like making him fret over you.

He doesn’t take your answer as satisfactory. “I’m sorry. I forgot Willow was a sensitive subject.”

“It’s not about Willow.”

Sam’s eyes lock with yours, the fire flashes behind your eyes for a second before you look away, waiting for it all to subside. Sam gently reaches across the table to you, brushing your blazing hot hand with his cooler one, trying to get your focus somewhere else. Where physical violence didn’t sound like a bad option.

“(name), look at me.” You strain against his voice, tears of frustration building in your eyes. He grasps onto your fingers tighter and tugs gently. You look at him then. “I’m not going to press you about what’s going on between the two of you, that’s your business, but I don’t like seeing you upset.” A soft warmth unfurls in your chest, smothering the wall of pain threatening to rise.”I’m sorry for whatever happened, but I am here to support you, even if we haven’t known each other that long.”

You laugh, it’s sad and bitter, but it’s better than crying in front of him. You’ve cried enough tears already over this, you don’t need more to the bunch.

But it’s nice to know that he cares about your well being and that he withstood Willow. It makes you happier to know that Willow can’t draw in everyone.

It just makes you peeved that it all comes back to the art gallery for her, that she feels she needs to get men this way. It should be about her work. It should be about something she’s passionate about, not just for an excuse.

You sigh and smile at him. Squeezing his hand, you manage to get out a sentence quietly. “Thank you, Sam. It means a lot.”

“Always.” His are dark and warm, filled with pools of light and sincerity. It gives the confidence to return back to the way you were. You give his hand one last squeeze before you let go and return to eating. Sam hesitates a moment, making sure you’re actually okay before continuing with his meal.

After finishing your food in a comfortable silence, the gentle movement of paper and liquid traveling through straws creating a white noise, Sam asks you one more question. “I want to show you a place next time. Do you feel comfortable coming with me?”

You smirk. “Trying to kidnap me?”

“Only if you’re okay with that.”

He smiles when you answer. “I’m down. Lead the way, Captain.”

…

Dance class provides a higher charge than originally seen between the two of you. His smirk lingers in your mind, making you tingle and blush rise. These aren’t things that you can really remember feeling with Bucky, but it’s been so long, how would you remember?

It’s probably a bad thing that you can’t echo thoughts of good times with Bucky, but maybe it’s just that you’ve never felt this way about anyone else before. Maybe these feelings are new.

Sam seems to feel the same way as you do. He’s not nearly as flirty or as talkative as usual, he doesn’t crack any one liners with you nor does he twirl you into any crazy moves. He’s all poise and following the rules, but his hands wrap around yours a little tighter, you dance a little closer, and the air hums with the electricity between you.

He stares more openly when all you can do is look away and smile. 

Your steps are steadier and accurate. You don’t stumble around like you did the day before, and you and Sam move as one unit, gracefully weaving around each other, your feet like feathers spinning through the air.

The teacher smiles appreciatively at you and every other person in the class, every couple moves in sync. The whole class appears harmonious and balanced, more comfortable and less worried for your performance. It’s preferable to the rough nature of Bucky and the challenging environment of your job.  It’s comfortable and nice, a place of relaxation and peace for you. 

It’s a place to come and dance with Sam and forget everything, forget the world exists.

…

Sam’s jacket falls around your shoulders, a soft barrier against the cooling breeze of the sea. You walk side-by-side down the boardwalk, the planks clunk beneath your shoes and the breaking of small waves provides a murmur of background noise. It’s enough to create a pleasant space to take in the beauty of it all.

There’s nothing more delicate and beautiful than a beach at sunset. It’s no wonder you’re here with him; it’s oddly fitting.

“I used to come here a lot.” Sam quietly murmurs underneath his breath, just loud enough for you to hear but careful not to pull you out of your admiration too fast. “When I was in my head too much.”

You nod politely and keep watching the waves lap against the shore. You want him to continue on his own terms, you’d never force his story from him. 

He clears his throat after a beat and drifts a little closer to you. Your heat grows for a half-second. “I used to be in the army and when you come back...life just isn’t the same for you anymore.” He sighs and your heart squeezes hearing the pain and the hurt in his words. “It’s hard to adjust and when life is too absurdly mundane, I’d come here. The roar of the waves could dull some of the noise up here.” He taps against his temple and smiles to himself.

You force yourself not to touch him, but it takes immense effort and your hand itches, pulls, wrestles against your mind's commands to keep still. You sink your teeth into the side of your cheek and hum in response to him, trying to keep your eyes from locking with his.

“Is it bad now?” The words slip out as your concern for him reaches a crux and not knowing is eating up every bit of self-control you’ve built into place. Your question lingers between you two, fragile and shaky, and you wonder if you’ve crossed some horrible line that you weren’t supposed to. 

A feeling of dread wells up in your chest as he takes a while to answer, your face begins to drop and your steps falter, but then he shakes his head in disagreement. “No.” He chuckles to himself. “It’s been getting better these last few weeks.”

His smile holds a secret that is intended for you to understand, but you try not to pay it too much attention. 

“You know, if you need anything, I’m here.” You fiddle with the sleeves of his jacket as you respond. “If you can be here for me through this Bucky mess, then I can be here for your bad dreams too.”

Sam watches you unabashedly and then smiles gently. “Thank you.”

You walk together to the end of the pier and sit on the edge, your feet reaching towards the waves. The wind here is colder, more cutting and you wrap his jacket further around your shoulders. 

Neither of you speak for a few minutes, just letting the wind and the sea make a music of its own. It was this comfortability in the silence that you wish you could share with Bucky. You wish you could be beside him and feel the way you do now, safe and comfortable. You don’t have to fight against him or his antics, his cheating behavior and aggressive personality. 

You could just be. 

You could just exist in the same time and space and that would be enough for you.

And the conversation wouldn’t always drift to your mistakes and failures. It wouldn’t be made into a spectacle of hate about you living your life and trying new things.

But Sam doesn’t make you feel stupid or dumb. He doesn’t make you feel like you’re doing anything wrong.

Sam must have seen your scrunched eyebrows and critical eyes. “What are you thinking about?” 

You sigh and fiddle with the palms sprawled in your lap. “My ‘boyfriend’ as you so affectionately call him.”

“Oh.” He looks back to the waves, steadily crashing but growing in intensity. The tide must be coming in. “And how are things?”

The mood changes. He grows more reserved, analytical and objective, like he usually does whenever Bucky’s name is mentioned. Your stomach twists. You don’t want him to close off or make him feel like he’s stepped on something delicate. You don’t want to hurt him with stories about him.

But you know that if you try to shield the truth, he’ll be just as hurt. He said he’d be there. You trust him.

“Tense at best.” You conceded, face sinking in despite the gorgeous scenery.

“Hmm.” He takes a breath and looks at your hands, balled together. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

He nods.

“I just feel guilty around him, like I’m doing something wrong.” It wasn’t because of Sam; it was because you knew your feelings were changing and they weren’t in favor of Bucky.

“Does the dancing thing...make you feel uncomfortable?” He spares a fleeting glance at your face and you watch his calm but worried eyes move over yours gently, just testing your reaction before he reveals the depth of his.

A similar alarm echoes off in your mind that this will have to come to an end soon, that this beautiful dream will dissolve from your mind. You don’t want this to end. You don’t like the thought of not seeing him again. 

“No! That isn’t the issue. I’ve been more myself dancing with you than I have been around him.” You fiddle with your hands, a spike of anxiety rising at your confession, but you spare a glance in your direction to see him staring at you directly. A jolt flares in your core.

“That’s...reassuring.” You bump his shoulder, reminding you of how close you are. If you placed your hands on either side of your body, you’d nearly be touching. He smiles at your teasing. “But,” His tone dips to a lower pitch, a lingering sigh hinting at the transition from euphoria to reality. “As nice as that sounds, it doesn’t sound like you’re in a good spot.”

“We’re not.” Your face droops in frustration. “And I’m not sure what to do.”

He watches you for a second before he responds. “Sounds like you need to talk to him.”

When you turn to look at him again, the sun is splayed so beautifully on his features that he looks like an angel, swathed in gold and sunlight. You can’t stop staring. And even if he was embarrassed by your pointed gaze, he doesn’t seem concerned. He’s too busy gazing back at you.

You’re surprised when you start to lean in, but the thought only registers in some part of your mind that’s far away from the decision making part of your brain. What brings a present shock is the fact that he begins to lean in too.

Your temperature increases and you can feel your breath quickening, but you keep going anyway, ignoring the nagging feeling of guilt that’s increasing by the moment. Sam’s nose brushes against your own and your eyes begin to fall, but it’s as if your vision clears when your eyes shut.

You stop and he immediately follows suit.

But you take a moment to savor the feeling, being so close to him, being close enough to touch and hold. These are treasonous thoughts that carry a weight that you don’t fully understand, but it feels good. You haven’t felt this good being around someone in years, despite being with someone else all this time.

It’s horrible that you’re just starting to figure all of this out now. “Sorry.” Your whisper is jagged and breathy, but it’s all you can manage. You don’t think you have full control of your mental functions to do or explain more than that. 

Sam seems equally as lost because all he can do is hum in response. You know his eyes are open, watching you, waiting for you to look at him, but you can’t. Because if you do, you’ll lose all over again.

“We should get back.” He stands and only when he isn’t in your sights that you open your eyes. You notice how the ocean quieted down, the roaring in your ears in your ears isn’t as loud, how the wind has died. 

When you turn, his hand drifts in front of your face and you hesitantly reach out to take it, knowing the jolt that’s going to spike through your arm at the contact of your skin with his. It’s stronger than it’s been before, but he supports you as you stand like he didn’t feel it. 

You straighten on slightly wobbling legs, still buzzed from a second ago. Only when he’s sure that you’ll be able to walk on your own does he let go, holding on for much longer than necessary. You miss his heat right when you let go.

He treds next to you faithfully until you reach your car. You unwrap his jacket from your shoulders and gently give it back to him, thanking him for lending it to you. You prod over to him and press a feather-soft kiss to his cheek, making sure to keep it to the appropriate amount of time, but wishing you’d just let it linger a bit longer. When you look back at him, a low warm heat spreads through your stomach at the way his eyes look like pools of fresh, heated chocolate, moving in elegant swirls.

You force yourself to turn away and get into your car. You give him a small wave as you pull away and then immediately crank the AC despite it’s only 50 degrees outside. 

You can’t stop smiling, even when you make it back to your apartment.

[exemplarybehaviour]

as usual, @hvadfucken decides she wants to see if she can get me anon hate and all i can do is stare at my drunk hands

controversial opinion: burning sandals is the trump of the left

i’m drunk enough i spent, like, 20 second trying to figure out why anyone would burn sandals and what it had to do with tr um p. BUT I CRACKED THE CODE (content warning for US politics) and i mostly disagree. i don’t really lik e burning sandals’ fanboys but mostly my problems with him as a potential president are that 1) i don’t think he’d be good at swaying anyone even an inch to the right of him or ever be open to compromise (fine in small-scale leadership, potentially disastrous for a US president), and 2) he’d also play by the rules as set out by (checks notes) the US constitution. point #2 isn’t a criticism bit DOES exclude him from being lefty trump. his massive and at times cult-like following of weirdos is sort of tr um p-like, but also i’ve known die-hard ron paul followers, so i’m not impressed. overall,. trump is more like the inevitable candidate of extremist americans on the right and mr sandals is more like......... the candidate of white dudes** wanting to demonstrate their wokeness*

i don;t give a shit what he does as a rep of vermont. all i know about vermont is that they’re tiny and don;t have target, and for that i’m simultaneously mildly intrigued and uninterested in visiting. 

*of the BS supporters i know irl, they’re MOSTLY white dudes who refuse to vote in 2016 and/or 2020 for “moral reasons.” the ones that weren’t white dudes were disappointed but voted and encouraged others to vote against trump. 

**ooooh but wait......... is attracting mostly white, and mostly dudes, the t r y ump yhing??? like listen. LISTEN. in 2016 i was in spain and the only IRL americans i talked to that were fir BS were white dudes (american women/POC i know might have voted fpr him in the primary, but CERTAINLY it was only white dudes from liberal coastal places who openly advertised they weren’t voting for anyone else). this is sort of a “grump of the left” move to me, but also for all his flaws, i cannot see BS killing his own followers via pandemic*** like the Cheeto did

***send me an ask to answer when sober if u want source. pretty sure it was out of stanford

controversial opinion: avocados are just okay, they're really not that good

gut reaction: burn her at the stake for witchcraft 

more thought out (but drunk??) reaction: sometimes avocados suck. sometimes you get a bad one, and it just tastes like gross hard water. sometimes you order avocado toast from a restaurant and it’s weird gross green water mixed with sour cream and why did it cost $14 before tax?? 

but then you get a good one and you know. you KNOW sarah aka hvad F U CK en is just full of shit. fuck you. ypu’re wrong. 

now I want your drunk opinion on which of those you find more controversial. go

okay despite the BS one getting a MUCH longer response with MUCH mor thought ........ the avocado one is clearly the more controversal. what the FUCKEN is wrong with you

[shcnley]

╰ ✧ ZOEY DEUTCH. MUSE SEVEN. BISEXUAL. ❞ say hello to the s club’s very own SHANLEY EVANS! a TWENTY-THREE year old CISFEMALE that goes by SHE/HER pronouns. i heard they were voted MOST TALKATIVE in high school, which says a lot about them because they’re very VIVACIOUS and DEPENDABLE, but watch out for their IMPULSIVE and STUBBORN side as well. i hope they’re ready to take a break from being a TEACHER and finally get this summer started! 

hiiii friendssss, i’m gigi!!! and here’s my lil french fry lovin’ bb, shanley. sooo excited to plot w/ you allllll <333 

B A S I C S

full name: shanley nicole evans gender: cisfemale pronouns: she/her sexuality: bisexual age: 23 years old birthday: january 27th 1997 birthplace: NYC currently living: chicago, il relationship status: single zodiac: aquarius sun, virgo moon, leo rising occupation: teacher ( 1st grade )

I N S P O

characters: jessica day ( new girl ), lorelai gilmore ( gilmore girls ), harper ( set it up ), summer roberts ( the o.c. ), alexis rose ( schitt’s creek ), & amy march ( little women ). music: click this sentence for playlist !!  pinterest: click this sentence for pinterest !! 

B A C K G R O U N D

kso, i’m going to be honest. shanley had an extremely normal and happy childhood. her parents met in high school, fell in love and were married after graduating college. her father ( theodore evans / think sandy cohen from the oc ) is an executive vice president of an insurance company while her mother ( clara evans / think kristina braverman from parenthood ) is a stay-at-home mom. born and raised in new york city. she has an older sister ( haddie evans / think prue halliwell from charmed ) who is three years older, she has an extremely close relationship with her. shanley is obsessed with family, tbh. she tells them just about everything. they had dinner together every night and talk about their days, have inside jokes, go on family vacations every summer ( before sclub summers ). overall, her parents are very loving and supportive, wanting only the best for their daughters. in high school, shanley was convinced she wasn’t like other girls *pUkeS*. she was very outgoing. like she literally made friends with anyone and everyone. a friendly face; probably the student who showed the new students around. it was rare to see shanley upset or rude to anyone unless she was defending someone. she had good grades (our shanny was v advanced), kind of a teacher’s pet but like still got her seat moved or sent to the hallway because she wouldn’t stop talking. i almost made her superlative most likely to say something stupid because like that’s her too. she was on the yearbook committee, played volleyball, and was a part of the student government. if she wasn’t at school or home, you would most likely find her with arlo, which whew. a story there. when it came to the sclub, she spent whatever free time she had left with them. encouraging all the trouble; shanley will do ANYTHING you tell her to and probably doesn’t think about it. don’t give her dumbass a dare because she will do it. sorry , i forgot what i was going to say; let’s change topics. NO i remembered, lets carry on. she’s always up for a good time. don’t hesitate to invite shan...even if you don invite her...she’ll invite herself SO. fast forward to college, shanley was accepted to loyola university and moved to chicago. how excite!!!!  kso she always knew she wanted to go away for school yanno be miss independent thats why they love her BUT college life wasn’t easy, not in the beginning at least. she was going through a breakup and lost herself for a while. became cold and detached; honestly after the break up her routine was to go to class then back to her dorm, study, cry and repeat. she was only friends with her roommates till finally they forced her to go out and deal with her heartbreak the “””normal””” college way aka getting stupid drunk. *tiktok vc* it izz what it izz. joined a sorority then dropped it because it was too culty for her. she got a part time job at insomnia cookies. slowly became high school shanley again. her spirits were especially lifted when she began student teaching. the kids made her so happy. they also proved to her that teaching was what she was meant to do. next thing ya know, four years are up and our girl has a degree in elementary education.  no one probably asked but her love life !!! like mentioned earlier shanley is single. she was convinced she was going to end up marrying arlo, maybe not right after high school like people assumed but eventually. they just connected on another level so when he ended things after their first year of college, shan was crushed. but if you’re curious, she's still got the hots for arlo. are we surprised tho? no? exactly. thanks for reading, pals. dsjkn okay i’ll add more. fine. so she hooks up with people and goes on dates but no one sticks. she doesn’t want them to stick either. she knows she had that like one great love and doubts she’ll ever feel it again so she just prefers to be on her own. she don’t need no man !!!!!!!! except for one...but mind ur business. so like what is shanley nicole evans up to now? well, her original plan was to move back home once she had graduated. but she was offered a teaching position in chicago and gladly accepted it. she figured since she loved living in chicago so much and it was at the school where she completed her student teaching; it all felt right for her to stay there. this was a fresh start for her. and she got it!! ya girl moved into a beautiful ( expensive ) apt near lake shore drive, started her own tiktok account where she randomly went viral and fell in love with all her students who she calls her kiddy beans!!

E X T R A !!

has 4 tattoos:       portrait of her dog, on her left calf // why? again obsessed w/ her dog       aquarius symbol,  on her right outer elbow side // zodiac hoe. Is v proud       coffee mug, on her right wrist side // her first tattoo. couldnt think of anything else.       honey bee, back of her arm above elbow // got really drunk, heard a song, thought of arlo, ended up at a shop with friends as a joke and woke up the next morning with it. 8 piercings: 3 each lobe. Industrial ( left ). tragus ( right ). sings when she talks sometimes most of the time speaks in really bad accents; new jersey being her fav is always in a dress...look at her pinterest...all she has is dresses. she likes to show off her legs ok. obsessed with animals ( if she’s not paying attention, its bc she’s thinking about her dog and/or bunnies ), coffee, and junk food. a jonas brothers stan, nick is her favorite brother. shelf is her favorite song. cries whenever she hears when you look me in the eyes ( she sang it to arlo when he took her to their concert ). has a big following on tiktok. on the teacher side. she posts her ootd and weird shit her students have said. sometimes even reenacts scenes from new girl. a reality tv show about birds she sees. its quite entertaining.  potatoes and pasta are her favorite foods. grew up making fairy gardens has a concentration face  dances for no and every reason.especially if she’s excited or beat someone in something. rambles way too much, forgets what she’s talking about mid sentence, attention span of a fruit fly. she has a hammock named bartholomew and she chills on it when she’s sad...so most of this trip. :-)))

welcome 2 the end; gimme all ur plots. i wanna plot with you all. i am down for everything and anything.