#if tumblr is soooo progressive then why i --

[djevelbl]

Hehehehe ghost cuppy

[neroushalvaus]

Te olitte niin iloisia kun mun ja mun kavereiden yölliset valvomiset synnytti Glitter-Riitiksen, mutta nyt, kun ne synnytti Hessu Hopon ja Mato Matalan rakkaussuhteen,

[alphabettcity]

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[deviljho]

i know other ppl have made this post before but it is actually soooo wild how comfortable ppl online have gotten about using the r slur, like genuinely if i’m scrolling and i see it i get so shocked cause like whoa ppl are just casually using that word like it’s funny and not incredibly offensive??? and it’s quite shocking too bc you see it a lot specifically on tumblr from ppl who are otherwise pretty militant and progressive, which is just baffling to me. like what is the thought process…and it’s not the same as reclaiming dyke or fag etc (cause like why would you want to reclaim this specific word???) anyways i have a pretty high tolerance for dumb stuff but if i see ppl using it, it’s an instablock for me LOL

[edo-vivendum]

I'm not really on tumblr as much as I used to be, but that's because my life has grown to encompass so so so much more.

I'm no longer obsessing daily about my body and my progress towards a goal (whether that be a healthy goal or not).

Recovery is so so so important, but your life won't always be this hard. You can get through this to the other side. I struggled for yeeeeaaars and thought it'd never be over. And it was bad... I'm not going to quantify my struggle, but it was very real. (I realize some success stories are difficult to be motivated by if the ED doesn't seem "as bad"... I dont believe body numbers are relevant, but it did take me years of various levels of treatment to get to a good place).

I still struggle with food sensitives (ARFID) but my life is nolonger controlled by anorexia (or arfid for that matter). I'm confident in my body. I have a career that I love. I'm healthy. I have a loving relationship. I can take care of myself as an adult. I'm happy.

I can't tell you exactly what did the trick for me. Various medications. Careful mechanical eating for a long time. Controlled challenges. Mindfulness exercises. The biggest thing for me was trauma work. Trauma was why I kept going back to my ED, so it just kept coming back until I dealt with my trauma. And that was hard. So hard. But soooo worth it. I gained more weight than I wanted to. More than what is strictly BMI healthy. And that was so scary. But at a higher bmi, I actually found myself more comfortable. Way more confident.

There's not a magic cure, and it's hard as shit. Many of us won't get to the other side.... But you might, and if you do, it's so worth it. Why settle for misery when there's a potential for something better?

[wave2tyun]

sooo, hello!!🥹💞 or welcome back!!!!

i don’t really know how to start this, at first i prepared a pretty long text because i wanted to explain why exactly i deactivated and what has been happening, but in the end i chose to scrap that and not get into in detail because it’s all related to my personal life and it's probably better to just keep that private, plus it’s some pretty heavy stuff as well, and i don't want to load that onto you. so this has kind of turned into a ramble instead amdbjdn

truth is that i have been struggling, a lot. october was one of the worst months mentally for me, which is when i chose to deactivate. at some point i did start slowly feeling better and i wanted to come back on here earlier than this but then things got worse🙂 like so much fucking worse😭😭 it’s still hard to believe and it still hurts and i almost can’t stop thinking about it, but looking back, i’m at least glad about getting through things the way i did- because i feel like the me one year ago would have acted and handled those situations so differently, or maybe i would have barely been able to handle them at all.

in the midst of it all, i started to lose my passion for writing. writing stopped being a form of escapism or a way for me to use my creativity. it just felt like a burden. whenever i wanted to write and opened up a doc i just felt paralyzed only by looking at it. i couldn’t get anything out, nothing for days on end. i felt like i was losing myself, in multiple aspects, not just writing, and the disappointment that overcame me only added more and more to my stress.

and i’m not going to lie, i’m still struggling a lot to write again :’) but i do want to give it another try. maybe it’s the fact that i first started out last year in december that is kinda making my heart tingle for it again andbjsns this period of time feels nostalgic:(

however, due to personal reasons (not regarding anyone on here, just to make that clear) i’d feel much safer and much more at ease to continue with a different username, i hope you guys can understand. i do feel very attached to my previous one but i really want to be able to post comfortably.

i do kind of regret deleting my other blog because of all the memories i’ve lost, but at the same time i’m also happy i did it because in a way it allowed me to fully choose to work things out and focus on myself without feeling burdened or rushed.

i don’t know how long it’s gonna take for me to post something new. i’ve been working on multiple things at once but the progress has been quite slow ambdkdn but at least it’s something!!!! so it might take a long time, it might also not. i don’t know, i’m just gonna let things be and let them happen whenever they happen. maybe you guys can also tell me some of the fics i should repost?? i won’t do them all at once cause they were quite a lot and that would clog up the tags anbdjdnd + i also need to proofread them again cause most of the time i’d do that directly on tumblr before posting🥲

soooo yeah. if you’ve read through this whole post, i really appreciate it!! :(<33 i’m happy to return on here while being in a better state, and if there’s anybody who would like to talk, do feel free to send me a message or an ask!! i’m still at home on winter break, but i will go on a trip pretty soon😔✊🏻 just so you know in case i might be slow with posting/replying!!

i hope 2024 will treat both me and you well. i hope it can be a year of growth and love, a year where we can freely let go and start anew. in a world where you constantly get beat down for everything i still want to choose to be gentle, sensitive, and soft. i love you guys!!!! :(💞💓💖💘💞💓💞

[jamesfalt]

the kabru post and then also that farcille post has me thinking about how people do take these gay ships and just completely mischaracterize them for the sake of having ship content. and i could make a whole long ass post or even video essay on this all but i'm gonna try and keep it short here

i feel like ship culture has gotten like....extremely tropey lately? like you have your ships and they HAVE to behave in certain ways or else you can't enjoy content of them. this is like super vague but i've noticed this in like ao3 fics of a lot of ships i'm into where they'll take the ship and just completely mischaracterize one or both of the characters for the sake of the ship

and in some cases i'm like it's bc the fandom is a bit younger, for example naegami is a ship i can't really read fics for bc all the fics are out of character and tropey. they erase how each character actually feels without giving any explanation as to why they would be like that. but i know that the fandom is by default young teenagers bc i was a young teenager when i was really into it.

and a common thread that i see in these types of ships characterizations is taking characters who aren't "soft" characters and making them soft. with naegami it's taking togami, a cynical bougie asshole who although does soften a bit by the end of the first game and is clearly friends and cares for his friends by dr3, and turning him into a guy who's only care in the world is naegi and he loves naegi soooo much and it makes him weak when we know how he interacts with naegi and it's not that.

kabru gets this exact treatment. where the haphazard feelings he has towards laios throughout THE WHOLE series get quickly thrown away to be the guy who is totally on laios's side all the time bc he loves him sooo much

laios isn't much different in this regard in the handful of fics i've read either where a lot of his tenacity and straightforwardness have been whittled down bc "oh he doesn't understand social cues he doesn't know what to do :(" which is so baffling i literally will close the fic the minute i see him portrayed like this.

i'm gonna go through the farcille ao3 tag next it's just taking me a bit to get through the labru one but from what i've seen on just tumblr and twitter alone it's clear to me that they're taking marcille and making her super soft and one track minded when she has other traits that kind of overwrite that? they forget that she joined laios not just bc she wanted to save falin, but bc she knew he wouldn't make it far without someone who could heal him. she's sharp and quick to jump to conclusions

where was i going with this. it's been a hot minute since i interacted with a fandom that's not gacha based (last time was beastars but that fandom wasn't too bad honestly) and so i just see the way a lot of people take characters and i'm just so baffled bc i'm like we have all the content we need why are you insisting they're not that, this isn't a gacha game where we're waiting several months for their story to progress to get a little more info on how they act. we KNOW how they act. you don't need to make up personality traits for these characters if you just read them.

[spaceyaceface]

HAPPY BDAY TO THE REASON WHY I GO ON TUMBLR EVER SO OFTEN!!!<333 Seriously every time u update my day brightens it's insane. Just remembered you were taking asks, soooo I wanted to know if you could do a small drabble of Ominis? I was thinking that MC could be an immigrant from another country, (preferably Spain. *cough cough* I have Spanish ancestors *cough cough*) and struggles with speaking/learning English. They've known each other for a few weeks, Ominis teaching her a few phrases of English. Until one day, like, after a small duel against someone (and unfortunately losing) MC starts ranting in FULL PERFECT ENGLISH about how 'unfair' the situation was for them while the poor boy just looks so confused and gobsmacked. That's all!! Stay safe and have a wonderful day >.<

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU ILYSM!!!! Glad I can keep you addicted to the internet I guess?? Haha! I love this request!

Warnings: None

He knew that they often got frustrated with their English. Ominis couldn't blame them---learning a language was hard enough, but doing it alongside the task of learning magic? He couldn't imagine how difficult it was.

He'd grown used to their rapid rants in Spanish when they got frustrated. Since they met a few weeks ago, he'd began working with them to try to help them learn the language. He was proud of the progress they'd made in such a short amount of time.

Ominis supposed he felt a strange sort of kinship with them. He himself had come to school with a difficult disadvantage--one he mostly had to overcome on his own. So, when he met them, he decided to make sure they wouldn't have to flounder before finding their footing like he did.

It was obvious to everyone that, despite the language barrier, they were absolutley brilliant with a wand. Which was how they wound up invited to Crossed Wands, wand gripped hard in their hand as they prepared for a fight.

"You're going to do great," Ominis said. "Good luck."

They sighed, and Ominis heard their feet shift nervously. "Thank you," they said in their accented voice.

It wasn't long until the duel began, and Ominis listened with bated breath. They did a wonderful job, blocking and casting spells at lightning speed. Then someone yelled something in the crowd--Ominis didn't quite catch it, was it a jeer?--but whatever it was, they faltered, trying to make out the words. It was just what they opponent needed.

The spell blasted them back, and Lucan declared it a loss immediately. Ominis rushed forward, making sure they were alright. They were sitting up with a groan, their typical rant in Spanish beginning.

Except after a few moments, Ominis realized it wasn't Spanish. It was perfect English.

"---stupid of me, so stupid. Letting my guard down like that. I know better. I could have blocked. I shouldn't have---what, Ominis?"

They were standing in front of him now, and he was sure he looked absolutely gobsmacked. "You... you're speaking English."

Silence feel between them. "I... I am?" A slight laugh. "I am!"

Ominis grinned as they began to jump up in joy. He was caught off guard by a pair of arms wrapping tightly around him. "Thank you," they said. "Thank you!"

After a moment, he returned to embrace. "I knew you'd get it eventually."

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Look! Art! And 1,000+ Pages of Context! If you want it!

It's got artifacts because Glaze. I'm sorry.

Glaze is working less-than-perfectly. It might be the style, something about those flat colours and the detailed gold edging/overlay. I haven't done what I need to get it to run on GPU, but that's just supposed to make it faster. I'm willing to put up with the artifacts for Tumblr and the site - I guess - but it's demotivating to have to make my art crappier so it won't be used for evil. I wanted to give all this stuff away to human beings, ya know?

Anyways, this took me forever, and I drew part of it on a boat! Mixter Poor-Fine-Motor-Skills draws just as well while rolling with the waves! Oh, I wanna live on a boat soooo bad right now. Of the housing options we can afford, that seems the most awesome. I will be back to tell you about my two nights on Fort Autism when I have more spoons for it.

That's clearly David Valentine in the purple coat, and that mysterious figure with the green hands is Erik with David on board - and a blond wig and a crap-ton of concealer so he can pass. Honestly, I think half of why it took me so long is how wrong Erik looks. He should look wrong - David doesn't belong there and he needs to GTFO - but it's freakin me out, man.

My ambition is to give every Invisible their own little halo, so you can tell them apart no matter who they're wearing. I'm so bad at keeping up with the illustrations and I get so easily frustrated that I don't know if I'll manage. (I have another eye appointment at the end of April. We'll see if I get help with how hard and painful it is for me to focus, or more "You're doing fine! Just keep doing what you're doing!")

Random Tumblrite, if you should stray across this, David and Erik hail from Tin Soldier and Soldier On, a web serial I write. It's in desperate need of readers and supporters. Tin Soldier is the first part, and it's pretty much complete, but lacking soooo many illustrations. Soldier On is in progress - slow, halting progress as my various issues allow. You'll find them here:

And there's a new instalment today!

But the above is an illustration for The Taming of the Twit. And I'm not doin these in order. There are A LOT of missing illustrations. I wish someone could do 'em for me, but I don't have the money for that many commissions. If you wanna partner up with me on spec (I guess I get about $15 CAD a month and you can have some of that??) for god's sake let me know!

I'll probably reblog this tomorrow, this is a bit of an odd time for me to blog things and it might get missed.

[nottyourlover]

can't wait for pat 2 of broken bonds! soooo good my heart hurts lol in my head the reader leaves velaris while azriel is gone maybe bc she hears rumors that the queen has taken an illyrian as a lover or something and when azriel is back he's like wtf why did no one tell me my nate is gone and he's kinda spiraling and searches for her for months and finally he finds he in helions court but when he sees her he sees helion coming towards her with a baby wrapped up in his arms and he assumes reader had a baby with helion and just like angssst 👀👀👀

HHAHAHA this is like my fancfic of a fanfic lol anyways cant wait for part two !

ahh thank you anon 🥰🥰!! tysm to everyone who read broken bonds 🩷🩷 ik i said im on hiatus but to celebrate 110 followers (crazy !!!!) pt 2 is officially in progress + its looking like a 3 part series rn

still will be putting tumblr on the backburner for study though 😘😘

[corpupine]

A Long-Awaited Update

I’ve been putting off writing this update for a while now. Not because I’m suffering or struggling at all—life is actually really good! It’s had some truly awful, crappy stuff mixed in, but for the most part my life is very happy. The reason I’ve been putting this off is that I really don’t know where to start. Most of you will have noticed that I stopped posting updates of NemaTale on here sometime last year. There are a couple of reasons for that that I want to explain, then I want to move on to life updates and what’s coming next for NemaTale.

First: Why did I stop posting on Deviantart?

There’s no special reason or controversy here. I post on three sites: Deviantart, Tumblr, and Tapas. Both Tumblr and Tapas offer a scheduling system so that posts can be queued in advance. I was able to schedule posts on those two sites, but Deviantart doesn’t have that function, so each time there was an update I had to go in and manually enter all the information. As my life got more and more hectic (which will be explained a little bit more in the life updates section), I found that I was forgetting to update on Deviantart. I kept on putting it off, figuring I’d get around to it eventually. But uh, whoops—the end of Chapter 4 has been posted everywhere but on Deviantart! I’ll get those last pages up and running soon, but I wanted to offer some sort of explanation before I did so.

(As a side note: I haven't been keeping up with updating the links between pages on Tumblr, for a similar reason. I'll hopefully get those up and going soon so you guys can read the comic more easily on here.)

Second: What’s going on with Corpupine?

So much, you guys. Soooo much, and most of it is—like I said—truly wonderful. I haven’t been posting updates about my life hardly at all, and I want to maintain privacy, but here’s a few fun things I wanted to tell you about:

-Got a big girl job working for a local publishing company (I’m an editor by day and I love it, but it’s very time and energy consuming)

-Helped my wonderful husband self publish a book (that I edited, naturally)

-Moved to a different city

-Finally, finally finished a draft for a novel I’ve been tinkering with for 9 years

Oh, and also, this:

Yes, in what may be the best (accidentally) kept secret ever, I’m a few months away from giving birth to a baby girl. That has been the main reason for my absence online as my husband and I have been preparing for her arrival. This baby has been very much something we have hoped for, and it took longer than we expected to get this far, so we are very happy. We are over the moon excited, a little freaked out, and ready to snuggle her sooo good.

So with that bombshell dropped, let’s talk a little bit more about the stuff you’re all really here for.

What’s next for NemaTale?

Months before I got pregnant, I had already finished Chapter 5. The script for chapter 6 is about 50% written—the broad strokes are there, I just need to nail down the dialogue. Then I started my big-girl job, and life started to get a little out of control. I was incredibly busy all the time with my job, and helping my husband with his book, and I really wanted to start using any free time just to rest and recuperate. I think that was the best choice for me; too much on my plate would have probably led me to have a nervous breakdown, haha. As it is, I’m doing well emotionally, but . . . I haven’t drawn anything since about June of last year. So we’ve got Chapter 5, totally finished and just waiting to be queued up; chapter 6, partially written; aaaaand then a big black void in front of me. (Why does that word feel so . . . familiar?) That should be scary to me, but it’s not. I’ve accomplished a lot, even if I haven’t progressed on the comic. I’m proud of myself and how far I’ve come. But what does that mean for you guys?

Here's the lowdown: I’m giving birth soon. I’m not going to be able to commit to any sort of comic goals in the near future. I’m not even sure what the future of NemaTale looks like, but I do know this: I still love this story. I don’t want to stop creating it, but now’s not the right time for me to be focusing on that. Sometimes life just gets too full to do everything on the list. I just can’t keep this at the top of my list for now.

Chapter 5 is, as I’ve said, completely ready to go (except for the chapter cover, which I haven’t made yet.) So I’m going to put this choice out to you guys. What do you want? Do you want me to go ahead and post chapter 5 over the next few months and then I’ll just see you all when I see you, somewhere down the line? Or do you want me to wait to post chapter 5 until there is also a chapter 6 officially on the way? That could take many, many months, so be aware of that.

I love the interactions I have with all of you. I’d love to keep having them, even if I won’t be able to post new stuff beyond chapter 5 for a while. But I really am okay doing whatever you guys think is best with regards to posting chapter 5. Just let me know in the comments below.

All right, I think that’s everything. I appreciate your patience with me in all this. In the past year, so much has happened. My husband and I have gone on adventures. I turned twenty-five and I’m finally starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I tragically lost one dear relative and for a while we thought we were going to lose another one—which, miraculously, we haven’t. Spring is here, and there’s a little girl kicking me in the ribs as I write this. Life is good.

[mochidreambubble]

From Golden Grove, Love Sunset Bird

[ongoing fic]

Ao3 link

Chapters on Tumblr ~ 1 2 3 (you're here!) 4

previous - next

{Cove was your new best friend, but your fairy pen pal was also basically your best friend. It makes sense but not to Cove, but... But why is it he thinks you could only have one best friend anyways?}

[some notes from me before I continue, or you can just scroll down to the new chapter after the linebreak.

Comes back in here with a wedding pretzel and b/w ice cream sandwich like I didn’t leave this fic for months-

Few things of note going forward:

Due to OLNF clearly still being in progress, I’ve decided to do more of the first game for now. Though, for every B&A chapter out, in future, there will be the same number of NF POVs/Centric chapters.

It’s a little sad cause I wanted to do alternative POV chapters but that would just put this whole fic on hold instead (I do have one more OLNF chapter after this, but next time it will be unlikely)

I’ve also decided not to do a linear timeline, which I think is fine cause I’ll be labelling each chapter title with the step anyways? So maybe don't expect the next chapter for the respective MCs to be in the same or the next step cause I’ll likely just go back and forth on what I feel like writing to make it easier. Unless it’s a narrative thing I wanna follow up on.

(Also due to recent developments…. Maaaaaybe I won’t be sticking to Cove/MC, at least not straightforwardly)

And done, onward to the new chapter]

Three: Beginnings & Always Step 1 ~ “Nobody said I only could have 1 best friend”

You’d like to think you don’t get into fights that often. Maybe with Lizzie sometimes , which Mom and Ma always sat both of you down for cause siblings only had each other and you should talk things out. 

But this was different. Cove was crying, which made you cry. You cried harder when he yelled that you weren’t friends anymore. What did you even do ? 

You thought Cove and you got on pretty well over this summer. It was super great to have a kid your age for once, and one who didn’t move away once summer break was over. In fact, thanks to Cove, a lot had happened in just these few months alone. You barely had the time to write to your pen pal. 

It made you feel kind of bad especially since, across the summer, you had at least 10 different postcards from them. Mom had left them in a neat pile and a colourful ribbon to make sure not a single postcard could go flying off. Which was silly because you’re sure postcards can’t fly. 

You were waiting for Cove to come over. Ma promised to let both of you decorate the cupcakes she was baking, but only after you’ve both finished your weekend homework. It was criminal (were you using that phrase right?) that teachers gave soooo much homework. It was only the third week of the new school term too. It may have been cooler but you could still smell the summer spirit in the air.

Mr Holden said Cove would be there by 3pm on the dot. You think that means that Cove will be there on time? 

You had your eyes glued to the clock in your room. But you got a little bored just looking at it, so you ended up reading the postcards your fairy friend sent instead. Their summer adventures back home were made up of carnivals (right in the middle of the city! Where did they have the space for that?) and two visits to the zoo. If not, they were spending time with their mother, on short trips to the nearest beach. There were a bunch of stickers. In fact, two postcards were mostly just stickers and a cute drawing smushed in there. Maybe they were wondering when you’d write something back…

There was one postcard scrawled with crayons that caught your eye. It was sent to you not long after the one you sent earlier in summer break. 

Is your green friend smiling now? Cove? I wanted to send you candy to give to your new friend. Candy makes me happy.

Mama laughed when she read your letter. Mama says Cove’s papa is funny. Mama also said sometimes Mamas and Papas do funny things for us. Because we are their babies. But we are not babies anymore, I dunno why she says silly things like this. 

You guess this maybe was the postcard that came with a small box of hard candies. Mom took one look at the postcard and gift and told you it was likely because these were harder to melt. It was a little sticky because of how hot it still was, you bet. But not a goopy mess.

With a quick glance at the clock, you decided you still had time. It was almost 3pm. There was totally time.

You took a piece of paper from your special drawer. It had all your sparkly pens and colour pencils. Most importantly, your pretty paper. Instead of white paper with lines, it was the colour of the sea with starfish and coral at the corners. 

Hello little fairy!

Sorry I took so long to write to you. I had a lot of things to do this summer. Cove is a lot of fun, but he’s still not very smiley yet. But I think he is magic!!! Like for realsies!!! 

You decided to start by telling the story of Cove and the Amazing Alexander. Not about how Cove’s balloon popped at the end though. It was still too sad…

You were only getting started when you heard Lizzie yell super loudly from downstairs that Cove was here. You jumped off the final two steps, touching down with a smack as your two feet landed. Mom yells out to be careful when she hears the telltale sound of what you just did.

“I’m okay!” You tell back, but you hear mom sigh. She worries about the silliest things for sure.

Cove was waiting for you, by himself, cause Lizzie had already joined Mom in the kitchen. You don’t think he waited all that long but you still felt kind of bad…

With a skip in your step, you went up to him just as he stood up, a smile on his face.

“Hi,” he greets you softly, fidgeting with his glasses. 

It wasn’t all that cold yet, but he was already sporting a long-sleeved shirt. Maybe it was just cause it had been a while since he could, since he got his cast off recently. 

“Heya Cove!” Part of you wanted to hug him, but Ma and Mom told you to still be extra careful even though he could finally get his cast off, so you made sure you smiled extra sparkly for him. “Thanks for coming over to help with the decorating!”

“Yeah, it sounded… Fun.”

You grab both his hands to give them an excited shake, but before you can lead him to the kitchen, your mom calls out from the island counter, cleaning up with Lizzie and helping dry some dishes.

“Not just yet kiddos, I’ve just put them in the oven, so it’ll be a while. How about you bring Cove up to your room, hm? I’ll call you two back down when they’re ready.”

“Yeah, I’m just helping mom cause she said I could lick the spoon for icing,” Lizzie says in her sing-song voice.

Mom makes a big show of clutching her chest. “Defeated by icing, oh Lizzie, you’re leaving your mom out to frost-”

Lizzie gives out a huff as she rolls her eyes and you giggle. “Sure thing, mom! C’mon Cove.”

He probably knows the way to your room by now, but you like holding his hand. Cove still takes the time to look around even though your room hasn’t changed since the last time he was here.

Well. Not exactly because he spots the difference right away.

“Postcards?”

Oh. Right. You spent all that time with Cove this summer, but you never really did tell him about your fairy pen pal, huh?

You pat a spot in your room for him to sit as you gather them up. “Mmhm, it’s from my friend in Chicago!”

Cove’s mouth forms an ‘O’ shape as you hand over the postcards. “How do you become friends with someone who lives far away?”

“We’re pen pals!” You say like it answers everything. Cove’s face tells you all you need to now - he was confused and your answer didn’t tell him anything, which meant he thought it was bad and unhelpful. So you grab another pile of postcards and short letters, plop down next to him and begin to explain.

Like how and why you started writing to them, who they were and details like they’re kind of like Shiloh in that they only lived with their mom, they were two years younger, they lived in the city and their home was kind of tiny, they liked doodling and collecting stickers…

Cove was already on the latest set of postcards as you add on, “And they’re my best friend!” 

It was like a magic spell was cast and turned Cove to stone because he freezes entirely. 

“...Cove?” You turn to look at them, small bubbles of panic rising.

“Your best friend?” He was whispering so softly, which didn’t help that he sounded like something was stuck in his throat. His eyebrows were slowly forming a frown.

“Y-yeah, but…. Cove, what’s wrong?” 

“B-But you said we were best friends!” He stands up with a shout, causing you to jump up too with a shock.

You did kind of say that, when Cove asked if you were friends during the sleepover but…

He was already starting to cry which made your heart fast and loud.

“Of course you are Cove!”

“But you just said I wasn’t!”

“I didn’t say that!” 

He tosses the postcard all over and stomps his foot. “Yes you did! You said your pen pal was your best friend!”

You looked at him confused and unsure, but find yourself yelling back. “Yeah! Both of you are my best friends!”

“No!” He shouts again, crossing his arms. “You can only have one best friend!”

And the two of you became stuck in a circle of yes, no and crying because all of it made you confused and upset. Why was he so mad about this?

It became so loud that Mom came up to see what was wrong. You ran over to hug and tried to explain. You’re not sure she understood you fully but she was nodding, at least. She must have called Mr Holden or something because by the time she brought both of you back downstairs still hiccuping the tears back, he had dropped in a little while later. 

He looked between you and Cove, sat on opposite sides of the sofa. You didn’t even have the energy to greet him like usual, even when he smiled at you. Mom had pulled him aside and started to whisper to him. Mom handed him a tupperbox of cupcakes - Lizzie still decorated them as she watched you from the stool she was using to reach the high counter, glancing from Mom to you and Cove. 

“C’mon Cove,” He came back over and ruffled his hair. He looked away when he realised you were watching which made you feel pain and you could feel the tears again. He gets up and follows Ciff out without any issue, and for the first time since Cove moved to Sunset Bird, he left without you saying ‘Goodbye’.

But who cares, he was being stupid. Why couldn’t he understand that you could have many precious best friends if you wanted?! Both of them were important to you after all…

And you try and explain that to Mom once Cove left, and to Ma again. If both of them could understand, why couldn’t Cove…

It had been a whole day since the fight with Cove, but you still felt upset. Not even dance practice felt fun…

Lizzie was even being nice to you, offering to play whatever game you picked once you got back. It’s things like this that make you really love her, even if Lizzie was bossy most of the time. But it still bothered you, even as you played with her, that by the time the sun was setting on a what should be a happy Sunday…

“Hey, where are you going?” Lizzie stands up just as you do, as you run back upstairs.

You were on a mission now, you decided as you grab a bunch of letters between you and your pen pal. You simply yell out as you swing the front door open that you’re going to the Holdens, your Mom yelling back Alright but you had to be back for dinner soon.

You knock with your free hand, the other squishing the small stack of paper to your body. Mr Holden opens the door with a surprise.

“Hiya Mr Holden, sorry about yesterday.”

“Oh, it’s alright. It seems like my boy made you quite upset too. But, are you here to-”

“See Cove? Yep, can I?”

You watch as Mr Holden thinks on it for a little while, then nods. “Of course, kiddo. Do you remember where Cove’s room is?”

You nod. This would be the second time you would have been there, the first was after the first day of school you had together with Cove. It was super lucky, the two of you were in the same class and your seats were side by side.

You thank Mr Holden and he heads back to the kitchen counter after he makes sure you were fully inside. You walk to Cove room door, taking a deep breath. The door opens before you even land a knock, Cove staring at you in surprise when he realised you were there.

You expected him to slam the door in your face. Lizzie does that to everyone when she’s mad…

But he just… Stands there, not even looking at you, his eyes staring right at the floor.

“Hey Cove,” you manage to say, but it was so soft that you weren’t sure about your plan anymore.

“Hi.”

Oh, at least he greeted you back, right?

“Um… So uh, I was wondering if I could come in for a bit.”

He doesn’t look up, instead shuffling back in. He left his room door open, so you walk in and close it after. You liked Cove’s room, even if it felt kind of empty at the moment. You were helping him add more to his shell collection.

Once you were both in there, standing a space apart, the silence came back. You take in another deep breath.

“Sorry!”

“ ‘m sorry.”

Huh?

Cove finally looks up at you, eyes filled with tears again. “Oh Cove, please don’t cry I’m-”

“I’m sorry,” he’s already crying but he repeats his apology again. “I still want us to be- Be friends!”

“Of course we’re still friends! Best friends even!”

“B-But-”

You take out some of the postcards from your other bestie and start to talk. “A-And you can be their best friend too! I sent them a letter at the start of summer and they sent me so many postcards and some of them were asking about you!”

He looks surprised and rubs at his eyes to stop the tears. “You told them about me?”

“Mmhm! I promise you, they’ll like you too! And we can all be best friends together so… So uh…”

You start to fumble and ramble, about how it should be fine to have more than one best friend anyways cause you should be allowed to make your own rules. And that whoever made that old rule was stupid because Cove and you could do anything you wanted to anyways!

“And you can help me write the next one too! I was gonna write about what I did this summer and you were there for almost all of it so…!!”

He nods at last, and the postcards and short letters go flying as you rush to hug him.

Mom looks at the rather thick envelope with a smile.

“You sure you got everything packed up in here, kids?”

You look to Cove and he gives a firm nod. “Yes… Uh, we made sure to read everything three times so we got everything.”

“The whooooole summer adventure,” you nod seriously, your hands together motion in a wide circle as you tell mom.

Mom laughs and ruffles both your heads, Cove ducking a little. Your mom promises to get it delivered and you grab onto Cove excitedly. You already can’t wait to hear back!

[last note from me this chapter: my friend 'weebnt_b' read through the new chapter but they're kind of not feeling too good, so if you see any mistakes, please let me know!

[littleapocalypsekitten]

Turning on the news lately... I'm just feeling really gaslit by the news and the culture lately. I watch CNN a lot, for instance. They cut from coverage to BOMBED OUT HOSPITALS that were, for all we know, deliberately targeted because there were, supposedly, Hama tunnels beneath them to one congresscritter or another talking about it being "justified" and "the only way to get rid of Hamas" because they use human shields and that they'll just continue on with the perpetual terrorism if they aren't rooted out - but we're soooo sad for the civilian casualties. A senator gets censured for being pissed off that her people are being killed with impunity, meanwhile, no one says a damn thing about the guy calling for Gaza to be made into a parking lot. If you don't "support Israel" (the nation / government and all they do) you get accused of being anti-Semitic. In addition, in America, there is the whole, weird Evangelical-take on it that seems to have leaked into the general culture without most people even realizing it. A Jewish friend of mine (American) is scared to death right now because she's afraid of being attacked for being who she is, conversely for not being for the Israeli government doing war crimes. She said on Facebook that she's going offline for a while to deal with her stress, which is affecting her ability to live her day to day life. I'm an American white idiot. I do not know the nitty gritty of the politics of the region. I have no solutions. I'm just someone who thinks that war crimes should not be answered with war crimes, I feel like I am watching a very obvious ethnic cleansing in real time that is getting passed off as "fighting terrorism" and "unfortunate collateral damage" in a play-pretend. I feel like the American government lets things slide and aids and abets because of certain political stakes they've had from the beginning with a sidecar of Christian-superstition-brain-leaking into the culture. Maybe also a sidecar of "BUT 9/11! Fear the Muslims!" (forget the Palestinian Christian population, I guess, plus people with a variety of beliefs that surely live there). (For the record, I am actually a Christian, albeit a Progressive one these days, no longer Evangelical, a universalist and agnostic enough to have at least a little sense. So, this isn't me being "anti-Christian." But being formerly in the Evangelical / Baptist camp, I actually know a bit about certain "End-Times" superstitions). It's weird. It gets weird. If you haven't ridden that horse, you don't know the half of it, really. So, okay, this is the only time I've addressed this in depth on my tumblr, because I wanted to stay out of it. Why am I bothering now? I want to know if there are any guides or guidelines to writing my congresscritters about it. Sending a nice letter to my Senator (potentially reachable, he's the guy who looks like Mr. Clean and loves to troll Republicans), and to my Representative (Republican, but runs on bipartisanship). Is "Ceasefire" the only thing to call for, or should I demand more? How do I make myself out to make sure they know that I'm not "supporting terrorism" or lacking care for Jewish people / Israeli citizens? (How do I break some of the old indoctrination bothering my brain telling me that calling for peace is incurring a curse from God on me? Seriously, American Evangelicism is Messed! Up! Not like I haven't already done plenty of things to do that already...) How do I make it sound right? The last time I wrote a congressman, I got a dismissive form-letter back (It was over Supreme Court selection when RGB died, the Senator I wrote to was Republican and so I shouldn't have expected anything less). I expect to be dismissed, but I still want to say the right things. I feel the interdimensional ghost of my favorite anime character (Vash the Stampede) breathing over my shoulder and telling me that I ought to do SOMETHING to TRY to foster some love and peace in this world. I can't steal everybody's bullets and hide under a bar table like he can...

[gwydionmisha]

how do you keep up with all these articles and websites? With twitter being down the shitter, and tumblr recycling month old posts, i havent been able to find a good central news source. I figured I could use RSS feeds, but these sites post SOOOO frequently that I find it overwhelming. any advice?

it's an eclectic process. I watch some TV news which gives me a heads up on things happening. So does dreamwidth and tumblr and friends with different areas of interests that will let me know about things happening in the areas they watch or in their countries. I also watch a couple of other progressive aggregators with sort of Venn diagram interest areas with mine. So some stuff over laps with things I already read, but there are more things I wouldn't have spotted on my own that are important and/or interesting. I also have a bunch of searches I do for longer running things, and things I'll do a random periodic search on to check in with ongoing situations that mostly fell out of the English language news cycle.

I started out doing history articles and archeology news, that sort of thing. Then there was a little commentary. Then Us politics went completely berserk and I ran out of time to properly read and post breaking news, let alone the things i still care about but are so much less world on fire. I try to squeeze some in at the edges never theless.

It helps that I read stupid fast with a high comprehension rate. also, I'm disabled and don't work, so I have time other people don't have, even working at whatever pace my body is up for that day. I can just go lie down if need to. I don't have to force myself to type much if my arm is completely fucked that day. Most people have a whole lot of time sucked into working and commuting. Most aggregators are working to some sort of schedule if only self imposed.

A lot of why my out put rate is so uneven from day to day is some days I am too busy or ill. Some days I do a ton of reading and prepping, but am too ill or tired or in pain and can't post much of it. The massive output Sunday evening was an example of the opposite thing, where I hadn't time to read, but I had a ton of links read and preorganized, so I could toss them onto the dreamwith scaffold and post them very fast at the same time on Tumblr, so I gnawed through some of my backlog pile.

(I post a sorted aggregate on dreamwidth once or twice a week at https://gwydion.dreamwidth.org/. Tumblr they mostly go up in batches).

I am doing this on the most basic level out of love. I love learning stuff, hence my origins over on livejournal before the Russians got it, sharing links to articles about cool things people dug up. I grew up in a political family. I've been watching politics since the Ford/Carter debates. I do care about the world. I want things to be better. I can't march. I can signal boost, and write, and share links, and call politicians to complain about stuff. It means a lot to me when people I don't know look at what I do and it helps them in some way.

I would be reading news regardless. I learned at the age of eight that when confronted with horrors, that for me personally, I do best if I study the enemy. This allowed me to work out how best to resist and survive. all these decades later, my survival strategy dishes up news links organized in anxiety friendly ways on dreamwidth, and in the more chaotic but blacklistable form here on tumblr. I'm anal retentive about news tagging to help the people who aren't here for that or who aren't up to staring directly into the void with me and drinking from the news fire hose. I never even expect my closest friends to read all my output, because my volume is rather excessive.

Don't feel bad if you aren't up to it, some days or weeks or months. My adaptation is wildly atypical and for most people this would be unhealthy.

If the news is too much, it's okay to take a mental health break. I do ask that you vote, because we need everyone, regardless of country to save the world. The news will still be there when you are up to it

Any aggregate has a bias, both selection, and the other kind. there are things i don't cover because I don't know they are happening or because there isn't time. There are a whole lot of other things that I don't or barely cover because they aren't good for me. it is so much harder to see absence than presence.

My best advice to you, is to find someone like me who gets a lot of the things you are interested in so you can at least skim headlines. More than one is better, but if you get stressed out by the output keep it simple. Find some news sites you trust or if you have a good local paper get a subscription. (I used to read the paper everyday, but my local paper is extra bad, so I'm all online now). Read articles on things that interest you. If you are up to it do some searches on topics important to you.

Whatever you do, never read or watch one news source exclusively. Every source has biases. If all that history training has taught me anything, it's that.

Remember that no one can read everything and that's okay.

I have no idea if this helps. I just stopped to read your note before bed, so I'm a bit rambly.

[aley-nag]

First fanfic bound

After my little introduction into bookbinding I bound my first fanfiction. To edit the text I heavily relied on @armoredsuperheavy and their incredibly detailed "How To Make A Book". Word still kicked my ass... I think I cried a little while trying to implement the pagenumbers but mostly because I didn't read the instructions right. I abandoned the project for a while and started over after a few months and suddenly it worked 🤷‍♀️.

I chose "The Soldier and the Parade" by Stele3 (I don't know if they have a tumblr...). It's an incredibly captivating story about Bucky deprogramming himself after Hydra and working to find his place and live his life. He also has to solve that problem called Steve Rogers. Go read it! It's soooo good. I'm also a really big fan of MCR so double plus.

After I beat Word into submission and sourced the material the actual bookbinding wasn't so hard. I build some tools after noticing how hard some steps are without, but that's something for another post. Here's the result (It took me over a year from August 21 to November 22):

After I finally wrangled the formatting I printed it... at home... It kept eating and crinkling the paper and because of the signatures I couldn't do it in parts and had to start over and over again. Then the ink was empty and I had to get more. Then the toner-dust-container had to be exchanged. Then it refused to print this particular document. It worked with another laptop though, don't ask me why. In the end I had to sit besides it and take every page out. Then I had to press them down because they kept bending upwards and jamming the printer. After three days I could print the other side. Needless to say I know use a local copy shop because I'm not going through that again...

I made two copies. One is just glued (Lumbecker) and one is sewn. At that point I had no Cricut so I printed the Title, cut it out with my nail scissors and stenciled it on the cover. Sadly, it bled into the linen quite a lot. The one one the right I reworked some time ago.

Here you can see the spine, where I noticed that I have to have a minimum thickness to have enough space for lettering.

Aaaand the slightly unclean binding with industrially produced endbands. I didn't yet know how to do them by hand...

Half Title

Front Matter and Headings

Binding Details: Text Body: Garamond, 10 Chapter Heading: Ink Free, 18 Part Heading: schriftgenerator.eu (Bleeding Cowboys) Full Title: fontmeme.com (My Chemical Romance Font) Word Count: 50.577 Pages: 200

The paper is normal copy paper that I had cut out from DIN A3 to get the grain right. That was a very difficult problem to solve

Some progress pics:

That's how I did the binding before I build my own sewing frame... Do you believe me if I said this killed my back? I did it laying in front of it on my stomach and afterwards even my ribs hurt :D not doing that again. At least that ladder finally found some use.

My work table at the moment, though I'm in the progress of renovating a room in the basement so that I'll have more space.

The covers before the final assembly.

[haejjoon]

had an absolutely bonkers day at work SO i reread the 5th chapter and immediately!! crops watered skin moisturiser anxiety gone im feeling so good now woah...........

moments i absolutely adore: goro knowingly utilizing gap moe, goro imitating ryuji and ryuji laughing with it, goro unused to being bickered over by HIS FRIENDS, the neat-o explanation for changing clothes in the metaverse, robin & ryuji, goro being a nerd and also loving the praise he gets but not allowing himself to bask in it for long, AKIRA

my bby is here again ive missed him 🥺🥺🥺 i love how nicely him appearing ties into with THE FOOL, because he sorta is one yeah? it's like a little nod to the canon p5 (where thematically akira can be said to be the fool, gaining enlightment and spirituality via his bonds as the game progresses; but also where yaldabaoth is the fool confidant AND is the one behind akira in the swap au). it's also a little 👀👀👀 with how goro unlocks the fool confidant the moment akira comes into the picture, like it's not just the ryuji-ann-morgana group who are the fool confidant for goro, akira is a necessary element there as well. also is goro suspecting something with those CLANG CLANG chains and cards? is he tying them to specific people in his mind and will he (mistakenly) tie the fool to akira?

um also i love love love what you do with the text formatting in those BREAKETH THY CHAINS sequences, it's very cool! and when you change the text in there a little bit, like turning "chains of captivity" into "captive" and then evolving it into "you are held captive" like woah...... foreshadowing!!

then the entire sequence of goro trying to understand why does he hate akira so much. lmao omg "he's so annoying and his smile is not ugly at all and also his lashes are soooo long. god what a fucking dick" goro babe please skdjeindosndj im very curious as to who will be the first to understand and acknowledge their feelings to the other. goro or akira akira or goro. goro is emotionally constipated akira is babygirl murderer place your bets

and then!!! goro immediately becoming suspicious bc of akira's slip up. it's going to bite everyone in the ass of course we know that but i can just FEEL how narratively satisfying it will be when everyone will write goro's suspicions off, like "nah goro's just got a hateboner for him" like ahhhh goro you're so correct but your actions and biases have led you here the cliff of your own doing

and then sojiro scene. the entirety of it. goro scrambling to fall back on some tried and true approach except sojiro's having none of that because HE. GENUINELY. CARES. poor monamona that whole breakdown and crying must've been so awkward for him

thank you again!!! ill keep saying it every time haha sorry this got so long im just. loving your work so much. truly a labor of love <33 hope you have a good day!!

before i say anything else, tumblr user nugylienshyd your asks are probably the very highlight of my days. i get SO giddy whenever i see your username pop up. im sorry i coudln't get to you until just now it's been such a day but (cracks knuckles)

GORO UTILIZING GAP MOE WAS SUCH A THROWAWAY LINE I WONT LIE HSKGLSD i was trying to figure out how to have him explain the difference between Pleasant Boy and Aspiring Axe Murderer and then i went wait. there's a term for this. gap moe. goro imitating ryuji also made me ugly laugh as all hell when the idea popped up into my mind because he would do that, wouldn't he.

AKIRAAAAA i'm glad you noticed the formatting ehe <3 ive said this before and i'll say it again, people need to utilize formatting more in fics!!! just because you're using words to create art doesn't mean you can't add a visual aspect to it as well!!! THE FOOL coinciding with akira's sudden appearance will forever be high point for my pride. i'm super happy with it. i'm glad you liked it too <3 (also your point about the phantom thieves somehow being incomplete and then akira appearing right when the bond formed is a neat one. i didn't mean to make it that way but damn thats an idea [writes down])

goro being a hater is another thing people need to use more often. listen its cute when he's like "akira :) responded to my date request hehe ok time to go to kichijoji" but its CUTER when he goes "look at this pathetic loser. he agreed to go on a date with me after Just One Text. this troglodyte. this buffoon" (asked him out in the first place)

and about goro immediately noticing akira's slip up!!!! of course he would. his entire thing is being Clever after all <3 iv ealso mentioned this in the past but i always found it so weird that ryuji and ann somehow picked up on pancakes so quickly? like these two are canonically the dumb blondes of the group..... and ur telling me... that they not only paid enough attention to morgana/akechi's words (ryuji SPECIFICALLY, who doesn't even like the two all that much at that point in time) to make the pancakes connection, but they ALSO remembered it enough to recall it to every new thief that joined their party??? really???????

im glad you liked the sojiro scene. it was honestly and truly such a long time coming, and they kind of... needed it? it was the only way goro could understand where sojiro was coming from, at least to me. goro's instinctive reaction to any unnatural behaviors is to lash out until the other person goes away or fights right back--both of which would be beneficial to him, at least in his perspective, because the strange threat is gone and he's back in his safe, lonely bubble. it's also why he was so taken aback when sojiro just... took it. he didn't expect him to agree. he didn't know what to do when he did.

thank you for such a well thought out ask, man <3 i did see this earlier last night, but i was in such a funk the whole day i couldn't collect my thoughts enough to respond to it properly until now. i hope your day's going well too. until next time <3