#if this was done in good faith and both were being discussed then I wouldn't have an issue

[fromtheseventhhell]

They way people always want to claim that Ned treated Arya better to make it seem like Sansa was mistreated but don't ever want to discuss the difference in how Catelyn treated Sansa and Arya is so transparent.

We get it you think that Ned "indulging" Arya (which even that was to a certain extent because he still had expectations of her) was a bad thing because you view her behavior as inappropriate and think that Catelyn reprimanding her and unfairly comparing her to Sansa to the point that she has lasting self-esteem issues was deserved.

[the-artist-grimm]

What doctrines did the lamb choose and have they ever sacrifice someone?

Crimson Angel AU - Doctrines, Governing, Rites, and More

This is gonna be a long one! Gonna be going over Doctrines, the way the Cult is governed, and how the Sin Rites work within the lamb, Anthea's, cult!

(since world-building is fun and I got a lot of ideas-though I apologize in advance for how much this diverts a bit from in-game/how longgggg this is lol)

Also the pretty boarders are by @/lambouillet

Doctrines

Sustenance

Ritual Feast

Grass Eater (Only relied on in emergencies once farms are set up)

Ritual of Harvest

Belief in Prohibition

Afterlife

Belief in Afterlife

Ritual of Resurrection/Funeral (Anthea has both-followers can pick what they'd prefer prior)

Respect Your Elders (especially since the elder, Nona, rules the kitchen) 

Grieve the Fallen

Work and Worship

Faithful Trait

Inspire

The Glory of Construction

Holy Day

Law and Order

Ascend Follower Ritual

Wedding

Belief in Absolution

Loyalty Enforcer (Really just Anthea having someone trustworthy in charge when out crusading-if there's any issues, fights, ect. its that person's job to settle it or at least get it under control till the lamb returns. If gone for more than 3 days Anthea also has Ratau come by to assist the enforcer, though later on Narinder takes on that role) 

Possessions

Extort Tithes (Funds typically are used to obtain rare goods from the market in Pilgram's Passage, such as specialty herbs for the medical tent or kitchens, metals for the smith, specialty tools, weapons to give missionaries, that sort of thing)

Belief in Materialism (Anthea has a major focus early-on on setting up more permanent settlements) 

Ritual of Enrichment

Devotee Trait

Sacrifice

Sacrifice is something Anthea has only done once (technically twice as it was two people in one), but it was only as a last resort. When they and Narinder managed to figure out how to revive the twins, and realized that it was via properly breaking the spell which chained him as intended through the sacrifice of a devote heart, the lamb didn't want to go through with it as it went against their promise to protect those in their care.

Yet, unbeknownst to the two, the followers had been realizing something was amiss throughout the week the two were figuring it out. A pair of terroir twins, Poppy and Tristen, had been tasked by the others with spying on the two to find out what, then reported back to everyone what they overheard. From there they all debated on how to proceed, knowing the Lamb wouldn't pick a sacrifice on their own. Everything from finding heretics to trick into being devote to drawing straws was discussed, until two volunteers came forward.

The next day during sermon, an older couple stood and offered themselves as sacrifice, citing that as they never were able to bear children of their own, giving themselves so Aym and Baal could live would be the symbolic next best thing. And though Anthea repeatedly asked if they were certain, a week later the sacrifice went through. But ever since the lamb has had no interest in ever doing such a thing again.

Within the graveyard plot the Lamb set their own family's empty graves they placed two more for the couple, as their bodies were completely turned to ash and lost to the ritual.

Day to Day

Within the Cult it's run more-so akin to a village rather than a proper 'Cult'. Everyone has a job to help the community as a whole, from farming, to carpentry, mining, med-bay, kitchen, tailor, and so on. There is a statue for prayer in the town center, but it's typically just people stopping by to say a quick prayer before moving on with their day, rather than sitting before it for hours praying.

Anthea has little interest in actually running the cult as a proper cult, and instead prefers to have everyone work towards building a proper community and settlement instead (hence why they don't like the idea of making people sit around praying-there's far more productive uses of their skills/time). Everyone there has lost it all-their homes, their families, their old lives-they have nowhere to go, and the lamb remembers how they felt when their own village was destroyed. They want the cult to be a safe harbor for people who need a new home.

That leading to greater faith wasn't entirely Anthea's intention, but it proved to be an excellent means of naturally raising faith/loyalty to them. People are less likely to dissent if they actually feel cared for, and to live in a cult that felt like a breath of fresh air? Where a new life could be found, a new family, a new home? Followers follow the lamb because they know Anthea's someone who genuinely wants to help them, and they are a lot more understanding and cooperative during hardships because of that as well. Where the Bishops lead by fear which can break loyaltys the second someone stronger appears, Anthea leads with their heart, which creates a following willing to stand beside them.

Sermons are held in the morning just after breakfast and are rather peaceful, and while outside of Sunday none are mandatory, most still attend daily regardless. Anthea's sermon scripts draw inspiration from their collection of Death tomes that predated Narinder's imprisonment (which depicted him as a gentle god of death and sleep), their own faith in Narinder that'd been built over years of praying to him prior to becoming a vessel, and some of their own memories of loss without letting on just how much they still grieve. (like everyone knows the Lamb is the last of their kind. But they just don't really realize how much that fact still haunts them. It's just assumed 'oh they lost everything but they're ok now! Look, they're trying to make things right!' which...isn't great but the followers do realize Anthea's carrying more grief than they let on eventually).

Sermon is still attended daily by choice as it is this time where followers can sit and reflect on those they've lost, but then be comforted by the thought that someone kind was there to greet their loved ones in the end. Death is framed as less of something to fear, and more of a final rest-which when every day is uncertain with the Bishops still in control, is reassuring. Anthea's voice is also just nice to listen to, during sermons their voice softens into this gentle tone followers can find comfort in.

During Sunday post-sermon Townhall (which townhall is why it's mandatory), followers are invited to stand and report issues, request materials, give errands for the Lamb to run in the other areas of the Old Faith, and the Lamb in turn makes sure everyone's updated on the situation outside the cult. Very few are allowed to leave the grounds unless accompanied by the Lamb or deemed capable (such as former Bishop Disciples who can fight/Missionary Talisman Holders that are magically protected) due to the danger that lies beyond the holy grounds from heretics and monsters, and thus Anthea likes to try and keep everyone from wondering too much about what's going on. Ignorance doesn't equal bliss, and thus the lamb prefers keeping them in the know as opposed to letting what-ifs fester.

And so Anthea keeps track of things they come across while crusading, such as currently standing villages being reported back alongside destroyed ones, the status of the various areas (such as Darkwood's difficulty rising post-Leshy's fall) being given, new locations reported (such as the path to Smuggler's Sanctuary opening where a hidden night market offers rarer goods like books, various alcohols, and other less easily acquired goods) and letters are also passed out or given to the Lamb for delivery. Though couriers cannot easily travel due to the dangers out there, Pilgrim's Passage does hold a sort of mail house within its village, where people can drop off letters and pick up their own, allowing people keep in touch with or even invite relatives to join the cult.

(I like to image that there's more settlements than just the Lamb's Cult, the Bishops Cults, and the in-game map locations. At some point I wanna put together a post expanding each area's extra elements/new ones)

Sin Rites Alterations

After the crown informs the Lamb on the Sin Rites, Anthea is somewhat uncomfortable with much of their practices due to both its descriptions, and the various former Bishop Disciples reporting similar Rites as causing anything from violence, to havoc, to unrest, to just straight up chaos within their own cults when held. Sin Rites often cause followers to act in ways they typically would not by heightening, anger, lust, desire, or other things, and it doesn't really sit right with them to force that.

As such since Anthea prefers to maintain an order to their cult since that reinforces the follower's ease of mind/trust that they'll be safe, the rites are altered and broken down into their base sin elements so that the crown can still obtain sin, but without causing disorder/discomfort among the cultists.

(it also very much goes against Anthea's nature to do most of the rites, and would be out of character for them to even consider using them as-is, hence why I've modified them for Crimson Angel.)

🌸Spring Festival - Draws from Rite of Lust🌸

Sins: Pride, Lust

As a celebration of the coming of spring, the Spring Festival traditionally was seen as an event where people spent the day outside enjoying picnics in the nicer weather while watching the flowers blooming on trees.  Now, while it still is a day for that, drawing from the fertile elements of the Rite of Lust, garlands of flowers decorate the grounds and flower crowns are woven and worn by all cultists, with it becoming a bit of a trend to try and gift your crown to someone special by the end of the night as there now includes a festival dance after sunset. People dress in flowy embroidered robes to look their best as well. Throughout the night many who are of age try to confess to the person(s) they are interested in, and as the festival does line up with a lot of cultists mating seasons, it isn’t unheard of for followers to sneak off somewhere private. Anthea does however set a hard rule on that everyone is to remain decent while in public, and that anyone caught getting handsy where they shouldn't will be punished via assisting Nona in the kitchen for a week, which the threat of having to help the old lady in the kitchen scares most into behaving.

🌞Summer Solstice - Draws from Rite of Wrath🌞

Sins: Wrath, Envy, Pride

Originally only viewed as a celebration of the longest day of the year and marked via a bonfire celebration, the Summer Solstice now includes a series of games and competitions, ranging from foot-races, to archery matches, to knucklebones, to swordsmanship, and so on with other activities. Events are at first just single, but as time goes on are later divided into Kids, Teens, and Adults sections to ensure fairness. To those who win, ribbons are presented as prizes. (so think akin to school field day or the Olympics) The elements of Wrath are transformed into a more constructive competitiveness through the events, with hints of envy naturally occurring from those who lose a match. It is, however, all just for fun at the end of the day, with the ribbons simply being little pretty things to keep as opposed to anything too special. An unintentional side-effect also means that more cultists learn how to protect themselves in preparing for competing, permitting more the ability to take on errands outside the cult over time. (which, in-turn, eases Anthea's burden of being the primary person gathering supplies)

🍂Fall Festival - Draws from Gluttony of Cannibals🍂

Sins - Gluttony 

Traditionally marking the ending of the harvest season, it has few alterations. During the day everyone works to can, dry, prep, and store the harvest gathered, with the best of each crop prepared for a huge feast held in the evening to celebrate everyone’s hard work. The only addition is teams of hunters are also sent out to hunt critters (which are considered separate from the typical sentient animals) and to catch fish to bring back for the carnivores and omnivores' winter stores, which as the years go on turn from just going out on the day of, to heading out a week beforehand to return with a larger haul to dry, salt, smoke, and store. Cannibalism, is however, EXTREAMLY PROHIBITED considering how they have a perfectly good harvest.

❄️Winter Solstice - Sinners' Pride❄️

Sins - Gluttony, Greed, Sloth

Traditionally marking the shortest day of the year, it is the only festival without any alterations due to the nature of the existing traditions lining up right. All cultists are given the day off from work, allowing everyone to trade gifts and spend the day with their families, to go out into the snow, and to see the stars and northern lights as a bonfire burns in the cult’s center, which for three days after there is still no work to allow everyone rest, as it’s also one of the coldest times of year.  Trees are often decorated with candles, ornaments, and other pretty things, wreaths are hung, mistletoe hidden in the worst places just to catch others off guard, people make baked goods, ect-so think Christmas but leaning more into its Pagan origins.

🎃Bonus! Blood Moon Festival🎃

Works like in-game and occurs during a Blood Moon. Spirits appear around the cult-grounds that need to be taken care of by disciples and the Lamb, with costumes bring worn by all to help in scaring the ghosts off. As children start to be born into the Cult, they also begin a tradition of going door to door for candy to keep the kiddos busy and away from the darker areas ghosts tend to lurk in, and there's a festival with various games like pumpkin carving, apple bobbing, darts, a bonfire, and spooky story-time with Mx. Shamura in the town square. So basically Halloween.

Phew that was a lot of lore lol, but I wanted to also take the chance to explain how the Cult runs! A lot different from in-game, but again it just feels more in character for Anthea to run the cult as less than well, a cult, and more of a village.

Back when their own village was still around their family did play a huge role in it-their father Aries was the supply runner, with Anthea taking over his role once he died. That meant the lamb got used to speaking to the village leader and other elders in higher roles, so that's kinda what they're working off of. Had their village persisted, Anthea might've even joined the ranks of leadership in the village, at least in possibly training more supply runners and leading them on trips.

A thousand years plus of the Bishops rule which especially worsened post-Narinder's imprisonment also had a great deal of followers done with the traditional 'cult' life. The closest thing to typical 'cult' traditions is donning specific robes for rituals or everyone having something red on their person whether it be their main garment or an accessory, but even then the robes are because it's tradition (think wearing your Sunday best) and the red is more of a personal preference cultists have out of a desire to match their leader's cloak.

[yuseirra]

vagueposting about onk 163~~~~ no real spoilers about the content!!! but I'll keep it under a read more still

good news is, I will still be able to draw hikaai till next week, I survived yet another week again~

If the rest of the remaining chapters are like this, they will never be able to handle the themes this work handles in good depth. There simply isn't enough space left, 4 chapters were the boundary/margin for me to imagine things could be wrapped up in a somewhat sufficient manner, this work tackles things that are quite serious and big and deserve good room for discussion-

It can't do that this way. Moreover, the direction of the writing feels so off to me. I don't agree with what it's trying to make of or convince me of... I'm too distracted of what's been happening in the other parts of the plot to resonate with it. I didn't come here to see Aqua trying to strangle his dad and...feel nothing much over it. It doesn't click to me as what's right, but maybe I read the work wrong, then it's on me... but I really didn't like seeing that scene!! It was terrifying and cruel!! and ugly!!! I don't like seeing people trying to kill each other and weren't they BOTH the victims in that case? Didn't they both care deeply for Ai and got traumatized because of it? Why did they end up trying to hurt each other like that? I felt there's some greater evil behind it all never being tackled at, blaming and killing one individual over it(and he REALLY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING YET!!!) is such a convenient and easy way out as well as it being...unable to resolve anything, wasn't Kamiki really right about that? Killing someone as helpless as he is wouldn't solve anything? He didn't say anything so wrong!!! I actually agree with him on that one.

I think it'd be better/best if they devote everything that's left to Ruby and Aqua in this case and just leave AI and her bf be and don't touch them at all if they're going to handle things like this...it's not going to work out.

I'd rather they do a deliberate, amazing job with two characters with depths than do mediocre-janky with many... I would have had my faith if there were like 8 remaining chapters but with only 3 now, no, it's impossible, the writers are such capable people and they can make wonders, I appreciate what they do and have done but I don't see it happening. In that case, I rather they just leave things be, then at least there'd be some room for me to try and make sense out of what's there than having something half-baked and unfulfilling as a resolution. They can still make Aqua and Ruby work, but with more characters being thrown into the picture? Oh..; If they were ever going to bring Ai and Hikaru in depth they need at least two at a minimum, but there is no way they'd have enough chapter space left to give them a proper chance

Ah, I can live another week to draw more hikaai UGH, UGHH.. I guess I am relieved to an extent since yet again, nothing important has been brought forth, nothing is explained, there wasn't ANYTHING new, if they're going to make the rest of the chapters like this one too, then I never thought I could say this but I feel I can write that ship better. They gave us a really good ingredient to cook with, so I can cook out a good meal, now what I want is for the ingredients to.. remain fresh or at least at a status quo. These characters deserve to be given a more.. proper discussion and space dedicated to them, I just don't see why the writers wouldn't choose to do it because it'd be wonderful if they did...

If things stay the way they are, I can still manage, I can still draw lots of fanarts! If it gets worse than this, then I'd have a hard time, if somehow, like a miracle, something really great can happen about them(I'm still not letting this hope go entirely because Ai is such an iconic character) it'd be great!

Not..a bad chapter but to have this be the one that takes up an entire chapter when there are only like 4 left...I felt so unimpressed... could have been okay as a standalone but even still, I don't agree with the sentiment it's trying to convince me of. Yes Aqua, you are a fool. A big dummy. Now go back to Ruby and live. This manga will definitely flunk if you die. I'm not worried about your life's sake at all because you're the main character and you won't die. You go and live a happy life pal, you can do it, go confess to Kana too because god you've been holding out so long with that and it's going to get stale

Your dad doesn't have the luxury to have even his story discussed adequately and I'm concerned about him, I would never make that choice as a writer, so I want to believe the two really good creators responsible for this to do it but there seriously isn't any space left for that to be a reality, if they're going to not handle it with care, then I rather they just leave it be as it is. I just don't see it being left as it is either but... that might be better for his sake, oh, they're not giving him and Ai justice rn. They should, but there's just too little space left. In that case, they should prioritize wrapping Ruby and Aqua's story at least.

[skenosbisworld]

My discussion with @faintingheroine in the comment section of her poll on the opinions surrounding the subplot of the affair between Ibrahim Pasha and Nigar Kalfa in Magnificent Century have left me with some interesting ideas about how the plot and characters could have been better handled.

I'm pretty new to Tumblr, and I've never made a post before, but I didn't want to bog down her post with an essay worth of comments. So I'm making this post so I can add my entire two cents on this debate.

First off, I have some pretty big problems with this plot for three main reasons.

1. I cannot stand the use of affairs as a cheat code to adding drama. The trope is so overused, and rarely well done, especially in this show. I think I wouldn't mind the use of an affair for Ibrahim, especially because I do think it makes sense for his character, if the trope wasn't already overdone with Suleyman. Historical fiction shows often use this trope because of the modern view that historical men were never faithful, which is absolutely not true. There are many historical examples of men being loving and faithful husbands even in arranged marriages. One of these examples actually being Suleyman and Hurrem.

There are many reasons why a once happy marriage might deteriorate, and I just wish screenwriters would be more creative.

2. This plot, despite it being made into a big deal in season 2, ended up having little to no consequences in season 3 except for Nigar Kalfa, which will be discussed in the last point. Hatice ends up forgiving Ibrahim and Suleyman's decision to kill Ibrahim was not shown to be at all affected by his betrayal of his sister. The only lasting consequence was Hatice's developed hatred of Hurrem, which was both completely irrational and unnecessary as her hatred already could have been explained by her discovering Hurrem's role in Ibrahim's later execution.

3. The plot completely assassinated Nigar's character. I absolutely adored Nigar's character in season 1. She was the voice of reason among a sea of hysteria. She was smart and kind, but not completely loyal. She was ambitious, but she was still caring and dutiful. The affair with Ibrahim left her as a shell of her previous character that just made her look pathetic. Her friendship with Hurrem was already an interesting dynamic, and her place as an influential member of the harem already gave her a good starting point for her own personal arc.

However, I think this subplot could have had potential to be both interesting and rational.

My main key to improving the plot would be to remove Nigar Kalfa entirely out of it.

I think that Nigar's main arc should have been her rise as the new Daye Hatun of the harem.

This was already perfectly set up in season 1 with her already established position as an important member of the harem as well as her friendship with the future haseki sultan. Now I do think that alot could have still been done with Nigar even in this framework. I have two suggestions for what should have been done with her character.

1. I would have Nigar remain friends with Hurrem, but I would have made it a more complex dynamic. Leo's death was a perfect turning point for the two as it made Hurrem lose her unconditional trust in Nigar. This should storyline should have continued through s2 with Hurrem recognizing that even though Nigar is not completely loyal that the kalfa is still an intelligent and valuable ally to have. This would have them maintain an unstable alliance throughout s2 & s4 with them developing a more pure friendship in s4 with Hurrem recognizing that Nigar is the only one who could relate & remember all of her struggles. This would have made for some wonderful bittersweet moments especially around the time of Hurrem's or Nigar's death.

2. Something that could have been done to give Nigar a more personal subplot could have been a romance plot, but one done very differently from all the others. Nigar could have fallen for a man, someone like Nasuh Effendi, and they had a secret relationship for a while until later discovered. When discovered, Hurrem or the Valide Sultan could have offered Nigar a chance of marriage. A chance which Nigar declines in favor of keeping her position in the harem. This would have created a sharp contrast between Nigar and the other female characters as well as perfectly highlight Nigar's ambitions. Most of the women in the show are portrayed as a complete romantics who would do anything for the men they loved, but I don't think this common portrayal should carry over to Nigar. In s1, Nigar is shown as very level headed and rational. She criticizes Hurrem's extreme devotions to Suleiman, and does so without much sympathy unlike Hatice Sultan. This characterization should have remained consistent with Nigar not believing that love should not come at the cost of her own success.

Back to my proposed improvements on Ibrahim's affair subplot, I think this could have been done in two ways.

1. The affair could have been done with Gulnihal, and be a plot by Hurrem to destroy Ibrahim. This would have improved the subplot because it would have given a previously underused character a much more important role, and it would have justified Hatice's anger and hatred of Hurrem. This plot could have happened with Hurrem initially sending Gulnihal as a maid to Hatice in order to spy on Ibrahim. After realizing Ibrahim's interest in her, Hurrem would have ordered her friend to begin and continue an affair with the Pasha. This would have still left Ibrahim completely responsible for the affair, but it may also cast Hurrem into too much of a villain role. It's not a perfect rewrite, but I do think it would be an improvement.

My other suggestion is a much more radical rewrite.

2. The other option could have been that Ibrahim has an affair with some new character, which would not be Nigar or Gulnihal. The affair would have been done without any involvement from Hurrem. The point of conflict would be that Mahidevran finds out about the affair, and she would have helped cover it up out of fear that Hatice would divorce Ibrahim, who would lose his position, and Mahidevran would be left without her main ally. When Hatice inevitably finds out about it, her anger would instead be completely directed at Mahidevran and it would be their friendship that would deteriorate. This could also lead to a stronger friendship between Hurrem and Hatice. Hatice could have divorced Ibrahim, and she could have also been the one who suggested the removal of Mahidevran as head of the harem. This likely would have made Ibrahim's death come much swifter after he returns from the campaign, but I do think this would make for a very interesting shift in dynamics.

Anyway, those are all my thoughts. I may make another post about how I would have changed the relationship between Hurrem with Suleyman and Hurrem with the Valide Sultan. To me, Magnificent Century serves as the perfect playground for rewriting ideas, as both the show and the real history propose so many interesting plotlines, but I feel like the show rarely ever fufilly delivers on it.

If anyone has any disagreements or other opinions on this, I would love to hear. Thx:)

[jo-harrington]

Me seeing AASB Hymns of Heaven requests open back up:

It would be great to see either the Thunderbird or Great Horned Serpent for some indigenous representation!

xoxo 💜 Cee

Cee, light of my life, bestie. Thank you for requesting this, trusting me with it, and thank you for chatting with me and answering my questions to do this blurb and these creatures justice. Just like we discussed, there’s so many interpretations of these creatures and the meanings vary so much. Faith is an incredibly personal thing so thank you for sharing these stories, your beliefs, and your studies with me.

This blurb is in collaboration with @whatis-much (writing account @rosewaterandivy) and you can find her amazing collection of writing here.

In addition to my monthly food bank donation I have also made a donation to the Association on American Indian Affairs.

Warnings and Themes: Death, Grief, Mourning, Discussion of the Afterlife, Discussion of Religion

Find other Hymns of Heaven here.

September 1984

It never got easier.

It would never get easier.

Eddie spent the past 8 years without his mother, and he would spend the rest of his life without her too. Every day the memories got hazier and hazier, but never any less cherished.

He couldn’t remember what she wore when she dropped him off at school the morning before the accident, but he could remember her smile when she kissed his forehead and waved goodbye to him.

Couldn’t remember her favorite flavor of ice cream but could remember the way her eyes crinkled and the face she made when she got that first bite. Especially that first time Rick took them both out for a special “family date.”

Couldn’t remember the things his father said to her in hatred and anger, but could remember the tears of relief and the tightness of her arms around him the day his father got sent away for good.

And they were all things he wished he had now as he sat beside her grave and traced the letters carved into her headstone with reverent fingers and tear-filled eyes.

The dry grass crunched behind Eddie and he sniffed and rubbed at his eyes really quick before he turned to find you. You and the gentleness in your gaze, a bouquet of flowers—carnations, his mom’s favorite; how had you known—from Bradley’s in hand, and a small knapsack that he was sure was filled with lunch and snacks slung over your shoulder.

Leave it to you to remember to keep him full on a day he felt so…hollow.

He had been hesitant to share this with you.

In those early years, Wayne and Rick would plan something special with him so he wouldn’t be alone. So they wouldn't be alone either. But lately he had preferred the day to just be him and his mom.

When he invited you to join him, you insisted that you didn't need to. Could sense the conflict in him. You told him that you could meet his mom when he was ready to share her, if he was ever ready. Despite his nerves though, something inside of him compelled him to tell you, to share this with you.

Even if it was just once.

You sat down next to him and said hello to his mom in a soft and caring voice; you told her how nice it was to meet her, and how much her son meant to you.

You set the bouquet along the top of the headstone and dug through your bag for something. You handed him a wrapped sandwich from the deli, one for yourself, and then one for his mom, which you put on a plate on the ground in front of you. Then you pulled out a few candles in tall glass containers and a few that were smaller and shorter made of colored wax.

"She liked being fussed over," he laughed as you arranged them and questioned whether or not you could light them. "Don't know if she liked candles or not. This is probably nicer than anything we'd ever done for her on her birthdays when I was growing up."

"I just don't wanna be disrespectful," you explained. "Prayer candles like this...they're a very catholic thing."

"No, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. Appreciate getting to learn something about you too."

You nodded and began to light them one by one. You hesitated at the candle that featured an angel blowing into a trumpet, but lit it nonetheless.

"You know," Eddie began, his stomach turning slightly, but he still powered through. "I don't really...I don't really know what she believed in. She never prayed. Didn't really have time for it...for church or anything. She worked every single Sunday at Benny's and then she'd grumble that if people were really devout that they'd be nicer or leave better tips. Sometimes she would say 'please God' if her car didn't start on really cold days in the winter.

"I don't remember her funeral either...but I don't think Pastor Charles was there. Rick asked me if there was anything special for her and I just asked...if we could have ambrosia with lunch. Because she always made it on special occasions. God, I was such an idiot kid."

He put his face in his hands for a minute as his eyes burned with tears again.

He didn't remember the color of the casket or the flowers, didn't remember what it was she wore.

"You weren't an idiot kid." You placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Just a kid who lost his mom. It's ok if you don't remember. It's traumatic."

"My whole life's traumatic," he let out a watery laugh. "I should remember this. Should remember her. All I know is how...good she was. She was just so good. A good mom, a good neighbor. She deserves to be...I don't know...deserves to be someplace nice. She deserves some...heaven, some paradise...

"This asshole kid at school...Brady...he used to bully me, and after she died. Wayne made me get these buzz cuts, it was just easier. Mom always cut my hair herself before...anyway, you could see my ears, right? This kid Brady kept saying they were a little pointy and that must mean I was...some demon spawn. My dad was in prison, maybe he was the devil, and my mom and I were like...Rosemary's baby.

"That's why I started...reading about demons and stuff, because he said it was good that she was dead; she was in hell where she belonged. I always liked the fantasy books in the library but...the really hardcore stuff...that came later..."

"Mom always used to say...fear stems from ignorance," Eddie muttered with finality, tears fully streaming down his cheeks now as his body shook. "So I needed to know everything I could about hell and about demons...so I wouldn't be...be afraid that she might be there."

You muttered his name softly and rubbed his back as he took the time he needed to cry.

There was a breeze. The leaves of nearby trees rustled, the grass. The flames of the candles shook but never went out. Birds chirped and cicadas buzzed in the distance.

You took a breath.

"You know you said to me a while back...something about religion being organized...and I told you everyone can pick their own beliefs..."

You hummed contemplatively for a minute before continuing.

"Do you know...before people believed was a Hell there was just an afterlife. An underworld. Just a place for dead people to go. No punishment, no fire. Death itself the punishment, and then your soul lived on.

"And then you have...different indigenous beliefs about life and Death. The Algonquin people believed in an Underworld and an Overworld and creatures that guarded them. A Thunderbird and a Horned Serpent. Heralds...Stewards of the living and the dead respectively.

"And in Navajo culture, the Underworld isn't even where the dead go. It's where people came from...before they came to be...a dark and primordial place...and the Horned Serpent guided them to the Earth. To life.

"When their time on earth was done," you concluded reverently. "Their spirits would live on forever."

You pushed Eddie's hands away from his eyes and softly caressed his face, made him look at you. You doted on him and he felt all the love and care you put into every touch.

Over his cheeks, his eyebrows, through his bangs so straighten what he messed up. You kissed the tip of his nose and then over each of his eyes, and the ache he felt behind them began to dissipate.

You poured hope and courage and peace into him, and he received it all with an open heart.

"So where is she then?" Eddie whispered.

"Heaven...Hell...Gods...devils...it's all relative...all personal," you answered. "There's no one answer. If your mom believed that God was only there to help start her car on a cold day, then that's what God is. And if she believed that He was only there to give people who wanted absolution for some sins only to be disgusting people anyway, then that's what He is.

"Maybe you don't know what she really believed, but Eddie...what you believe is at play here too." You smiled and your eyes darted between his. "If you want to believe her soul is out there...living forever, then she is. If you want to believe she's in the Undying Lands, then she is. And if you think she was good...then she's worthy of being in Heaven."

Eddie took a moment and closed his eyes. And he imagined his mom again. Her smile and her laugh and her love. He imagined a place that was perfect for her, with music and ice cream and ambrosia and all the comforts that she never got the opportunity to have when she was alive. He imagined that she felt all of the love the world had to give, all the love he had for her.

There was no real name for it.

But that was exactly where she was.

[korrasera]

Toxicity

A few days ago I finished an exchange with someone who started by messaging me to ask about my thought process and ended by calling me a dangerous abuser. They saw that I'd asked people to hold themselves accountable for spreading misinformation and thought that was extremely insulting.

As such, I'm going to take a minute to talk about it. It really sucked, but I hope it can serve as a good warning to take care when engaging with people on social media.

-

This person messaged me because they were upset by some of my posts. In one, I had asked people that were spreading misinformation to hold themselves accountable and admit their error. In another, I'd told someone that their understanding of politics was immature because they didn't know that the branches of the US government have different responsibilities.

I asked them their intentions, explaining that I was wary that they might be trying to wind me up, to harass me in other words. They claimed that they weren't and that they'd gain nothing by doing so. I took them at their word and we started to talk about my posts.

Since I'm writing about this, you won't be surprised when I say that it turned out they didn't have good intentions. It turns out they weren't asking anything, they were trying to punish me.

They started by telling me I was a childish hypocrite, before calling me an authoritarian and a bully. When I disagreed, they started to call me an abuser, claiming that I was engaging in DARVO by disagreeing with them. I was being told in very clear terms that I was a bad person and that I needed to repent for what I'd done. I asked them to stop messaging me, but they did not, continuing to prosecute their case.

If you're familiar with the kind of manipulation you see from small groups trying to pressure an individual to conform, usually to manipulate or exploit the individual, that's what this felt like. Break down someone's self-esteem and replace it with adherence to the group identity. I was talking to someone who was trying to harass and emotionally manipulate me.

Their last message to me called me a 'dangerous, abusive, and untrustworthy authoritarian' just before I blocked them. I should have ended the conversation earlier, but for some reason I kept treating it as a problem I could solve with discussion and you just can't discuss anything with someone who only wants to hurt you.

For some reason, because I'm overly verbose, I always feel like explaining myself in enough detail should be a defense against such behavior, but it rarely is. They don't care about conversation, they care about punishment and obedience.

I would ask them to apologize, but we both blocked each other so there's no chance they'll ever listen to me again. There's almost no chance they'd apologize anyway. When someone winds themselves up to the point where they're calling someone abusive for asking people to hold themselves accountable, they probably don't have the self-awareness necessary to consider that they might be wrong.

So that's what I had to deal with. I had an encounter with someone who claimed to be messaging me in good faith, but was just trying to hurt me. It's taken a few days to process because it's deeply painful to get attacked like this.

For my sake, I'm talking about this to get it out of my system, but I'm hoping this can serve as some good advice as well.

If you're the kind of person that thinks it's appropriate to harass people and call them abusers because you don't like being held accountable for spreading misinformation, you need to sit with yourself and understand how deeply unethical that is. You probably won't even listen to this message, but at least I'll have said it and maybe one of you will have seen it.

If you are the kind of person that wouldn't do that, remember that social media comes with its own dangers. Try to be careful before you engage with a topic in public. Curate your feed and don't go swimming in the cesspools. And above all, protect your privacy. You need to keep yourself safe before anything else, because social media isn't worth the cost of your own health and well-being. You deserve better than that.

[rhineposting]

What do you think of Lilith? Do you think she got redeemed too fast, or do you think her development was fine?

I was really looking forward to seeing someone ask about her again, so I'm more than happy to answer!

Per usual, more below the cut.

From the beginning I rather enjoyed Lilith as a character, both design, personality and writing wise as she proved to be a fun mix of both a very powerful and intelligent sorceress and a nerdy older sister.

As opposed to some people, I consider her arc to be rather well written, when you look at in retrospect. Her story is of that coming to terms with her individuality, self worth and even at some point, her faith.

(NOTE : Since I already discussed most of her trauma related to her being a former cult member in my first post about her, as well as parts of her family related trauma in another post, I will focus on other aspects of her character in this one.)

From when we first see her in Covention, we see that she's ridden with guilt upon seeing her sister in a fragile state - believing it was her fault. Which technically was, it was just that at this very moment Eda was playing dumb. In that guilt, to every opportunity of getting Eda to join her cause and in turn cured, she immediately broke her Covenhead persona - the one she built up for years and practically wears as her face. If that makes sense.

Right then and there, I had a feeling that she would join the main cast later on. So I wouldn't say it was done too quickly? It was hinted for a good while, in my opinion.

As for the other things...

The crew did incredible when portraying her. Their use of combined tropes in her character were executed delightfully! Instead of appearing obnoxious, like with Odalia and Boscha, they blended together into a very cohesive charaterization of a nerdy, older sibling character - without making her look like a complete joke. Even though throughout the show her excitement in history and alike is often a base for jokes, it's never actually made fun of.

She is almost never shamed for her interests nor how she approaches them. However, when it does happen it's either her sister, or another character who is clearly depicted as being in the wrong. It's a small thing, but to people who grew up being ridiculed for their hobbies, it probably means the world.

Most importantly, her being the scholarly type is never her whole character - it's just a puzzle piece that makes the picture of who she is. She's also very perceptive, determined person who learns very quickly and is ready to put herself before her family.

Personally, I also liked how the show portrayed her struggles at the very beginning of season 2.

On top of still feeling guilty over essentially rendering her sister disabled for the rest of her life, she had to also deal with the baggage that came with being a cult survivor that for years was deprived of her true identity, stripped of her self worth as an individual and led to believe her self worth was determined by whether or not she was devoting herself to serving a higher power or goal.

All of that combined eventually lead to her initially seeking full independence and refusing any help, which is actually quite realistic, as finding balance is probably the hardest part in recovering and healing. Been there myself.

Though, even almost at the very end of seaon 2, we still see her struggle. This time, with faith. After being used to having a figure of absolute authority all her life, she immediately latches onto the idea of King being a god, once again indirectly trying to reduce herself to a faithful servant.

It's actually one of my favourite aspects of her arc. Progress and healing is not linear, and so there will be moments of returning to old ways of thinking and acting - which is what happened to Lilith, and there is nothing wrong about it. No one tried to shame her for it, or viewed her as crazy.

In fact, precisely the opposite happens! In that same episode, we see a character portrayed as being at peace with himself admit that he had gone through something similar and offered advice based on his own experience! And King simply told her that he's seeing a "pattern" in her behaviour, reminding her that what she was doing was unhealthy to her, first and foremost - not that she was weird or wrong for it. Just misguided.

In the end, all of that built up for a very satisfying conclusion - she made a best friend, came to terms with her disability and made peace with it, reconnected with her family after being separated from them for years, started working in her actual desired field of interests and actually grew into the person she wanted to be, surrounded by people who respect and love her for who she is.

Just how am I not supposed to love her as well? It's literally impossible. Per my best friend and soulmate's words, who said it best :

10/10

Hilarious. Magnificent. Incredible. She's the dream.

[justanothersyscourse]

hi ok so !! about your post on singlets in syscourse i just want to say i agree with you! i'm a singlet and my ex is a DID system, and during all the time i knew they were a system (2 years+) and the time we dated (almost a year) i've never really been able to partake (in good faith) in syscourse because i'm a singlet. i've spent over 2 years learning as much as i can about DID and OSDD and sometimes i'd like to partake in some syscourse and each time i try (in good faith! i cant emphasize that enough) both sides treat me like shit. like you said, singlets dont have a place in ALL discussions (i certainly wouldnt and dont want to stick my nose everywhere) but yeah there's a time and a place and like you said, to engage in constructive and positive conversations, which is exactly what i'd like to do. but even in those times and places both sides shut down whatever a singlet says, even if they do actually have some kind of standing in the discussion (like the examples you gave), say things in good faith and have knowledge of what they're talking about (like you also said). i've never really seen anyone display this opinion so kudos to you for voicing that!

My partner has been with us for ten years, and they've known about us for six of those years.

When he first found out, he went looking for resources, and one of the first ones he found was called The Significant Other's Guide to Dissociative Identity Disorder. It's a funny, honest guide written by another singlet partner. It talks about the good and the bad, insurance, therapy, hospitals, etc. Most importantly, it talks about what to expect from your system partner.

It wasn't until a few years later that he showed us this guide, and he explained that the brutally honest take on system behavior helped him become a better spouse for us. It talks bluntly about how systems are selfish by nature. Not in a negative way, just as a matter of fact. We have so much going on in our heads that sometimes it's really hard for us to keep our partners in mind, as well, and it comes across as selfishly absorbed, at times. It talks about how to handle that kind of behaviour, and the rewarding love you get in return.

But that REALLY struck me. It was true, and so was a lot of other, negative stuff (stereotypes?). It kind of put my partner in a new light for us-- we gained a huge amount of respect for him and appreciation for the things he put up with and tried to work with us on. Of how much work he put in and how much patience he had.

Singlets have an incredibly unique view on certain aspects of the disorder and of system life that is SO important to the conversation. I wish he had shown it to me earlier, but he said he didn't think I was in a place to hear it back then, and he was probably right. I wouldn't have taken it as positively and it wouldn't have had such a profound impact on us. Now we do our best to stay mindful of things-- so that we can be better, too.

Singlets tend be an unbiased, outside view. It's why anyone with half a brain encourages questioning systems to see a therapist. Traumatized, mentally ill individuals tend NOT to be good judges of... Much of anything, really. Themselves, situations, other people. I can't tell you how many times I was TEN THOUSAND PERCENT SURE I was a making a safe, smart decision, and he was behind me, rolling his eyes, waiting patiently for me to come to my senses, and then I'd run crying back to him when it all went to shit, because holy crap, that was dumb of me.

He also is VERY aware of the nuances of syscourse, he hears me talk about it daily. He engages with it through me. He's done enough of his own research to form his own opinions and thoughts so he can support me, and/or tell me when I'm being a proper little shit.

I talked recently about the unique perspectives of people who dipped their toes into plurality and DID/OSDD, and realized/admitted they weren't systems, and those who realized it was something else. Those perspectives are just as unique and useful in helping other systems figure their stuff out. They do understand syscourse. They've likely engaged in it before. They're allowed to, still.

Singlets who have never met a system in their life, but have a peer reviewed paper in have are goddamn allowed in syscourse to share it and talk about it.

They sure as fuck might be wrong, but they have every right to get involved, when and where they're welcome.

���� Singlets 👏 have 👏 a 👏 place 👏 in 👏 syscourse 👏

Anon, you are welcome in my community <3

[monkey-network]

My Issues/Problems/Disgusts Resolved(?)

When you have issues, troubles, or disgusts with anything, the hardest but relieving thing to do coming to terms with them. A couple of years ago, I made a trilogy of posts exploring three people I found ranging from repugnant to devious. It came at a time when frustrations might as well have come out and frankly they were just about people everyone was more than aware of online. Enough time has passed and while this isn't just gonna be me apologizing or being remorseful for what I said, I want to I guess truly bury the hatchet and resolve these stuck-around feelings as somebody that has... been humbled a lot over these years (make of that what you will). This is coming from somebody that knows a lot about staying in your own head. So yeah, let's talk.

Lily Orchard [OP Link]

Gotta say that... nothing's really changed only in that it's all less with anger now. Put this first because it'll be short. To be as sincere as I can, she's just an unlikable person. Regardless of her out there opinions and ideas of media literacy, or her choices in fictional tastes, I won't be the guy that will throw every evil label and the kitchen sink onto her. Calling the spade a spade, even as a former fan I saw that within reason it was seeing a very insatiable and arrogant media "critic" with negative social skills. Hell, the mentions you see of her on Tumblr or Twitter especially are just the open secret that most people don't like her. For me, that resentment has become passive chagrin.

I won't convince anybody of who she can really be, how bad she can be at being both original and derivative, or what she is potentially. I wouldn't say a lost cause, but there's nothing complicated about this anymore. She's just a massive asshole. Not because of any human characteristic of hers, her opinions, or what was known about her in the past. Take away any personal semantics or bias, I remain only puzzled about how her circle is able to tolerate her presence because she's just an unlikable person and that's all on her.

Butch Hartman {OP Link}

2020 basically was the year where a man responsible for one of the most popular cartoons on Nickelodeon finished swan-diving his reputation just as fast as the likes of John K and Justin Roiland. From scheming a streaming service that still isn't out of early access yet to making a Christian flash cartoon that looks 20 years too late. It's a classic story of pride coming before the fall, culminating in his Youtube channel being a wasteland aside from sketch tiktoks that barely make the thousands in views despite his huge follower count. As much as LSMark looked to make good-faith conversation with him recently, Butch basically became a ghost now after all the controversies died down.

Now despite what I said initially, Butch's fall in reputation is definitely not comparable to Kricfalusi or Roiland's; we've heard nothing of him physically taking advantage of anybody in or out the industry. The worse he's done is take advantage of his legacy for either financial or supportive gains. This is not as bad as domestic or sexual assault of course, but it spoke wonders of how the ego of big time creators can kill any goodwill and faith when they're not actually considerate of the following that respect them. A quick search of his name on Youtube is more about the people discussing his controversies than anything he worked on. People still discuss Danny Phantom and Fairly Oddparents, hell the Cosmo mpreg episode is a meme to this day, but with the detachment towards Butch as the creator.

I'm fine with this predicament, but it's sad to believe this was all on him. It wasn't just about Oaxis being a scam or him saying "he created your childhood" or heaven forbid his attempts of promoting religious healing, it was about seeing a creator of some things you liked reveal himself as someone in a bubble that you lose any idea in looking up to. It's not exactly "Don't Meet Your Heroes," more "Don't glue on rose-tinted glasses". I won't force or insult what remains of Butch's "fanbase" for sticking with him, but this definitely woke me up in terms of how I view the creators I love. Humility is the special word in all this, where some creators can have some disapproving moments but you can still have respect for their craft. With Butch, it wasn't even him entirely that made his shows look great. As of now, he's making poorly illustrated kid's bible stories with Fairly Oddparents getting a live-action show that Nickelodeon regretted making immediately after releasing to the point of erasing it all not even a full year after it was first announced. Even when things are probably fine now, the guy fell off as hard as I expected originally. I can seriously put this behind knowing I was factually right on the money the first time and that does put a smile on my face.

Also... Butt Shartman. That's all, let's move on.

Mysterious Mr. Enter (OP Link)

I'll say this was the reason why I made this post. Lily and Hartman I say speak of an absence of change and reflecting on that absence. Mr. Enter is different and, cut to the chase, it has to do with this recent video.

I've talked my fair share of shit toward Mr. Enter these past few years, reasonably so. At the same time, my vitriol toward him came from some semblance of respect. Many have to this day brought up Mr. Enter calling out the writers of Spongebob for a particular episode they did, but John is right in that that was around the time he barely had a following and just started out with media reviews. Mr. Enter has made bad opinions, I will never deny that and this isn't me defending him, but I see that he can recognize they're bad. He's better than Lily Orchard in that... he can admit being wrong and grow from it. We meme and shit on this dude, but for me, there was still that modicum of respect I had for him being this dedicated. In spite of the harassment or the justified backlash, he's still putting in the effort.

Over the years, I've come to understand that media critics can have different understandings of media. That doesn't mean every critic is always right in their own way, grifters exist for a reason, but I don't see Mr. Enter as a grifter-type critic compared to people who to this day complain about The Last Jedi. He can have some off takes on the types of humor or tropes in a cartoon, but more often than not he's being sincere. That's why I say he still has some respect from me for as long as I've known him. Every bad take aside, I don't take him as somebody who is "ruining media criticism".

I don't agree with everything he says or believes, but John's doing better than I can say for Butch Hartman or Lily Orchard especially. He's doing Admirable Animations again, something I brought up originally, and am intrigued to see that he indirectly took my advice. He can work well with more positive videos. I never felt he was an actively terrible critic, Turning Red meme aside, and I didn't want to just treat him as the bane of online media criticism or the worst thing to ever happen. The dude has his faults but can acknowledge them better than most online personalities I've seen who feel it's weak to admit anything. He's no different from the Nostalgia Critic where the tumultuous attitudes toward them in the past have subsided where yeah, I'm not gonna side with every bad opinion or choice they make but they aren't actively killing any goodwill I would have for them. It's not pity, but making your empathy less black and white compared to people more deserving of scrutiny. Overall I still have hopes Mr. Enter will do better, imperfect as things can get.

Conclusion

I wanna say this post and the former three I made reflected the increased awareness and discourse of the parasocial relationships we can have, especially online. There have been plenty of people that certainly abused their status and paid for it, these three stayed in the mind for how consistently they tracked in soiling their reputation. At the same time, how wary we are about things or the people we followed isn't always cut and dry. That's why the title has the question mark in parentheses, nothing ever ends so I'm not saying these current feelings will just be buried away and forgotten forever. I just know that for this current future, it's better to seriously lay things to rest while subconsciously keeping in mind what can be done differently from now on. To conclude, this is all better than having to care about people like Andrew Tate or Elon Musk living another day.

[drowninginredink]

I find this discussion really interesting, especially because it is always nice to see people being critical of the media they enjoy. Already wrote some of my feelings in your comments, but I am entering the soap box now to throw out my 2 cents.

Firstly, before I start, I have to mention that I am a big believer that anyone can joke about any subject. I think we should only look at the message of jokes, their meanings, what they transport outside, etc. That's how I judge these things. So yk what I am talking about.

I do think sometimes with the characters, it lands it territory that I disagree with morally. But I also think overcautiousness with jokes, even at the expense at (minority) groups, can be harmful in itself. Because it leads to the othering of those groups in a sense. That may sound counterintuitive because jokes against groups of people - coming from a place of hate and disgust especially - is one of THE tools to other a group. I do think it works the other way around as well.

For example, if you were in a friend group that constantly roasts each other, but for some reason, people are really scared to roast you, excluding you entirely from that dynamic. I think that's how I could explain it best.

So I do think a good handful of smosh characters make fun of ND people, but not all of that is actually bad, in my opinion. Especially when the comedy comes from a place to make fun one oneself/past self, etc.

A good example for jokes at the expenses at groups usually comes from inside said group. Which makes sense. Most of the time the basic respect needed is there, and it comes from a good place. Once someone from the outside does it, the track record becomes worse, but I also don't think we can/should make this a blanket rule. Especially because the inverse can also be true. For example most of the jokes trans people do about trans people on 4chan. They come from the inside and are mostly absolutely vile.

This all is my opinion ofc. People can find more unmoral/ be more uncomfortable with certain jokes. But we do be living in postmodernism, so anything is subjective and an opinion. So I do stand by my opinion. Lol this end paragraph is a mess, I just want people to take my words in good faith that's all :3

Ugh I wrote half a response to this and then it all deleted. Take 2!

I am a terrible judge of what's "acceptable" because as a psychotic person you just have to give up. It is so exhausting to call people out on ableist things and then have them ignore you. Which, I will say both times I've done that in this fandom people were fantastic about it (I even got a post edited, which was very nice and appreciated), but that's so not my prior experience. And even when people listen... I still just got to see how little people even consider the existence of psychotic people for certain jokes to seem okay in the first place. They wouldn't say those things if they thought about the actual humans who experience these things.

Like, there's this one podcast that's my comfort podcast. And the guy does occasionally fall into the kind of humor that can be summarized as "haha this guy is cr*zy" (granted he's grown out of it a bit, but you can still see the remnants of those sensibilities in his work) and like, I've called him out for misusing psychotic on twitter and he was just straight up like "yeah no, not unless *you* have a better word in mind, but I think it's very accurate." And like... Being psychotic is hard enough without giving up things you like. You can't give up stuff from anyone who's ever seen people like you as less than human because that's everyone.

Anyway. That's not about The Chosen. The Chosen very much is fine and just has some implications and subtext I don't love. That's more just me venting. But I feel like personally i don't have the luxury to care about where the lines are and what's acceptable. I wouldn't be able to watch anything and I'd be writing call out posts all day. So I respect your attitude, and I respect people with harsher standards than you as well, and I'm just kinda... Here

[unchataparis]

A Review of Illusion

This endcard highlights Lila and Marinette’s rivalry, look at the contrast of their body language! Marinette is furious, glaring, watching her back, clearly not trusting Lila to not stick a dagger into it; while Lila appears to be filming a perfume commercial. Lila looks peacefully radiant here, and that’s exactly the image she wants others to hold of her. Despite the commotion over Lila’s actions in Season 3 and the hype for her in Season 4, she didn’t appear that much. I hope this wouldn't still be the case in Season 5. Lila is a fantastic character with a lot of villainous potential. If written properly, she could really shine, even more so than she does already.

I like this segment of a newscast interviewing a variety of people on their options of Ladybug’s capabilities (again, Chat Noir has evaporated). Having all the Miraculous stolen from her strikes a huge blow upon Ladybug’s reputation; most Parisians support her, but I bet there are quite a few who’ve lost sufficient faith in her.

Really appreciating the newscast followed by the debate followed by the Alliance ad. Feels very real.

Adrien doesn’t like the Alliance rings because it’s literally his identity stolen from him and commercialised, but Plagg embraces any kind of lazy luxuries like a moth to flame.

"Thanks to the Alliance ring, anyone can make you say anything." What an extraordinarily horrifying concept.

Gabriel, you are screwing up so badly, I can’t even emphasis how badly.

And the famous Agreste kitchen is finally revealed. It looks quite nice.

Hopefully, they can have all the intimate conversations a family can have once night has fallen and the kitchen light is low here.

French toast, the American dub says, over the very obvious animation of a pancake being flipped.

This man smiling is the most disturbing thing I’ve seen today.

Gabriel is almost completely leeched of colour. remember when he used to be blonde? And deeper blue-eyed? It’s like his life is draining out of him.

Gabriel knows he’s dying. He’s making amends.

"I’m not comfortable with my face on these things." "We can spend more time together…but if you want things to go back to the way they were, just say the word." I see that Gabriel has not lost his flair for manipulation. Good on Adrien for bringing up his concerns, but it’s understandable why he won’t push it.

This is such a cool perspective, I don’t think Miraculous has ever done split-screen before. And Alya is wearing the little hip-bag Marinette made for her, even though Trixx isn’t residing in it anymore.

I was watching both screens and the videos playing on their respective Alliance ring/phone. This was cool, the background and facial expression correlates with what they were expressing, it must’ve been difficult to animate.

"La Resistance." "There’s a resistance?" "Not yet, but you can be the first new member if you sign up."The comedy of this exchange in flawless. Good on Nino for not being too burdened by his lack of Miraculous. He was never a permanent Holder like Alya, but he grown Wayzz’s absence quickly.

"You don’t feel weird talking to these things?" "Well, it’s only my image, and it’s allowing me to spend more time with people I care about, like my father, my friends. You." Adrien successfully gaslighted.

This episode is full of great cinematography. The switching shots between Adrien, Alya, and Nino at the lunch table as they discuss the Resistance is quite personable, and really highlights the silliness of the shenanigan they’re involved in. 

"We can tell Marinette and Adrien that we were superheroes, it’s not like we have any Miraculous that Monarque could steal from us." Nino, you are so fired.

Adrien being approached by both Chloé and Lila. Chick magnet.

Lila has an Alliance ring. And her avatar is Adrien. Of course it is.

And now all of Adrien’s fans know where his school is.

Lila alerted Adrien’s fans to his location so that she would be able to spy on the Resistance meeting? She wanted to disrupt the gathering, I guess, get Marinette away from Adrien. And when that didn’t work, when they split off together instead of scattering, her next best bet is to eavesdrop on their conversation.

The way Lila is sitting is so pretty.

Realising from this image that most of the class’ parents have already been revealed. RIP Nathaniel, Nino, Ivan, Rose, and Kim.

This is the most inane plan in Miraculous yet. Inane and hilarious.

Animation error, Gabriel's suit was clean before Adrien dunks on it a second time.

Lila did help Gabriel exponentially. If Gabriel wasn’t Monarque and he wasn’t aware of the plan, he would’ve flown into a rage that’ll make him a prime target for Akumatisation.

They spilled entrée, main, and dessert on Gabriel. Nino should’ve come into the classroom with some beverage. Could’ve completed the course.

"You see, Alya? I’m a curse for Adrien. All this proves is that I’d better stay away from him." Girl, enough with the self-hatred, you didn’t do anything.

Alya being the voice of reason, she proposes that everyone needs to apologise to Gabriel.

Enough with the dramatics.

I have to admire Nino for his rigid, unwavering dedication. If the  situation is already screwed, peel whatever benefits you can from it.

This is a pretty risk plan on Monarque’s behalf. Just one touch and the Mirage would be dispersed. Of course, chances are Ladybug and Chat Noir would just assume the Collector also has the power of illusion but surely the suspicions would start building up. The Collector would have to aim to miss Ladybug and Chat Noir on purpose. The Collector’s teleporting power reminds me of the Spot from Spiderverse.

This man is going to die. The amount of Kwami he’s using is slowly draining him of his sanity and vitality.

Huh, that’s a good plan from Monarque. Joining the battle like this, Chat Noir and Ladybug are going to have some trouble dodging all these tiny butterflies, especially if they don’t even know he’s there.

But the man looks ridiculous. He looks like an army of toy soldiers.

Ladybug realised something is wrong the moment Chat Noir froze. Didn’t waste a second to flounder. Great battle instincts.

Hiding in the sewers wasn’t a good idea after all. Even if the water puddles didn’t give the Monarques’ footsteps away, the echoing would’ve alerted Ladybug to the fact that there were many more people than visible. Being in the streets, aboveground, with the clamour of pedestrians, shine of the Sun, and continuous metropolitan noises would’ve hidden Monarque much better.

Magical bolt of lightning. Huh. Well, sending lightning bolts is a pretty cool power.

The spaghetti got cleaned off.

"In order to do good, anything goes." Thank you, Gabriel. Very wise.

This man could win gaslighting championships – he is really laying it thick this season. It doesn’t even seem cartoonishly exaggerated anymore, I could see actual manipulative parents doing what he does. I don’t think he ever planned to take Adrien out of school in the first place, he just played at enacting that final command, and, of course, overturning this decision and apologising to Adrien about it would grant the illusion that he is a changed and renewed man, when in reality, he’s the same Machiavellian bastard he always has been.

"Père, I don’t want to wear the Alliance anymore, do you mind?" "Of course not." Because the one person Gabriel will never suspect to be Ladybug or Chat Noir is the son that’s 24/7 under his nose.

Starting to wonder what affliction each sauce has with the personality of the named Resistance member. For Lila, Comrade Sweet and Sour is obviously a play on her two-faced personality, but for everyone else? Is Adrien mayo because he's basic? And Marinette is a foundational sort of person that could be built upon?

After analysing Alya and Adrien’s nails, it’s really noticeable how long Lila’s nails are, and they even have French tips! Very stylish, just like her.

This episode establishes the the ordinary folk of Paris, especially the ex-Heroes, aren’t giving up just because they don’t have any more Miraculous, they’ll fight however they can. It’s curious that Nino calls his secret brigade the Resistance, instead of the Patrol, the Anti-Monarque Squad, or the Neighbourhood Watch. The Resistance implies that Monarque has already won, and they’re only struggling against him, trying to prevent him from gaining further ground.

This episode also marks a revolution in Adrien and Gabriel’s relationship. Finally, after seven years of being ignored and belittled, Gabriel has not only reached out to his son but tried to form a genuine connection with him, granting him amenities such as an relief from modelling and small privileges like being able to stay at school for lunch. Gabriel is definitely trying to make amends with Adrien before it’s too late. Unfortunately for Adrien, this miraculous (ha) turn of heart is neither permanent nor truly sincere.

Lila comes onto the playground again, worming her way not only into Marinette’s tight-knit friend group but the very same group of ex-Heroes who are making a stand against Monarque. I’m predicting that, sooner or later, the members of La Resistance are going to realise they’re among fellow heroes, and Lila is going to have some interesting leverage with this information. Whatever movement the Resistance can enact will be nullified by the fact that they have Monarque's double agent in their midst.

[a-dragons-journal]

Hello! Hopefully you haven't gotten an ask like this before (and forgive me if you have) but for quite some time I've been kinsidering a kitsune? I may not be a kitsune, I just feel like I may be some kind of animal diety/spirit creature and so far kitsunes resonate with me the most.

However, im not sure if being kitsune kin is cultural appropriation as im black, not Japanese. I absolutely wouldn't want to do anything disrespectful like that and if that were the case I wouldn't even bother researching/kinsidering it further and confirming a possible new kin type. (assuming I am one!)

Anyway, I really like your blog, you always seem so sweet and welcoming in the community. thank you for your time if you answer this, have a nice day. ♡

obligatory "I am white as hell, these are opinions I've formed from listening to POC talk about this and talking about it with them, I am open to discussing them further" disclaimer.

Short version: as far as I know, the culture kitsunes are from is not a closed one; therefore faithful information on it is available to the public, therefore you have the resources necessary to be accurate in calling yourself a kitsune or not, therefore you're fine. The reason kintypes from closed cultures are a problem is not because anyone's claiming you can't have the experiences you're having, it's that chances are extremely good that the version of the creature you're basing your label off of is an appropriative, bastardized one, therefore calling yourself that is reinforcing that appropriation.

Long version, copy-pasted and edited from an older post:

So, there’s exceptions to the “being otherkin is not cultural appropriation” thing, but the rule that makes sense to me and that I’ve been working under is this: the only time a kintype can be “appropriated” is if it’s from a closed culture that doesn’t share stories about that kintype with outsiders, and thus whatever ideas the person has about that kintype that’s led them to label their identity as that creature are wrong, and that’s the appropriation - the fact that they’re (likely inadvertently, but still) using and spreading a bastardized, appropriative understanding of the creature, when the actual mythos of that creature doesn’t actually match their experiences and is thus a mislabel.

The most infamous example: “w*ndigokin” frequently being skulldeer cryptids, which is not what that creature actually is, because it’s from a closed culture that doesn’t share stories about it with outsiders and thus the public idea of what it is is wrong and appropriative.

To my knowledge, and please somebody correct me if I am wrong about this, this is not true for kitsunes, or other creatures from Japanese mythos. The information about what a kitsune is and the stories around them are, as far as I know, freely available to anyone who goes looking (I’m sure there’s weird misinformation out there, because It’s The Internet, but the correct information is out there, which isn’t true of, say, w*ndigos). Therefore, more than likely if someone has done the research and is calling themself kitsunekin, they actually do match what a kitsune is mythologically speaking at least to some degree.

And, assuming that is the case (that is, that they do match faithfully and it’s not a mislabel)… as far as I can see, you can’t really call someone having an experience that’s generally not something they chose to experience “appropriation.” Appropriation is an action you take - being otherkin is, generally speaking, not. You can call it “inappropriate” as much as you want, but it is not going to change the fact that someone is experiencing shifts, instincts, memories/noemata, dysphoria and euphoria, etc. that match with a kitsune’s description. It seems both strange and pointless to me to try to argue that someone isn’t allowed to label themself with the label that clearly is accurate because they were unlucky enough to be born in a different culture.

I do agree with the statement that someone’s experience of otherkinity is influenced by their culture and life experiences - but that doesn’t mean that other influences can’t also be present, or that their species can only come from those life experiences. How many of us had the experiences of nonhumanity we do before we ever encountered records of our species? How many fictionkin are there out there who had their experiences of fictionality before their source media was even published, much less before they had the chance to encounter it? To claim that it’s not possible to have a kintype that isn’t part of your personal culture and life experiences is to not only flatly ignore the fact that people do in fact sometimes match up with kintypes from other cultures, but also to imply ignoring those experiences. That it’s not as likely? Sure, it probably isn’t. That it requires more careful research to ensure you’re not getting a misrepresented idea of what the creature is? Absolutely. That it’s not possible, or that it’s somehow appropriative despite being a typically-involuntary experience? That doesn’t follow through.

(…Now, there’s more room to argue about whether it’s appropriative to choose to form/reinforce an identity as a kitsune (or whatever else), but a) I frankly don’t feel qualified to have that discussion and b) it would be kind of derailing from the point of this post, so let’s perhaps save that for another conversation.)

More conversations on this in this tag, for your perusal.

[lavellenchanted]

The way that fandom either willfully or unintentionally misunderstands the zack/cloud situation is so frustrating to me. This idea that he "is" Zack until post LS sequence is... just so lacking in understanding. Even if you are confused by what is going on, they have two totally different personalities (both in terms of Cloud's soldier facade and his "real" personality, which I also agree is talked about weirdly) so that interpretation of the situation doesn't even fit. But you're right, nuance is generally lacking in discussions in this fandom haha. I know the iffy english translation of the OG game is partly to blame but... at this point it should be pretty clear.

I can see how CC was an interesting idea with a perhaps questionable execution, although I will refrain from too strong of an opinion having not played it myself (also how I feel about advent children and DoC). To me it just... exists, but now I have to pay some attention to it because of retrilogy and I can definitely tell that it wasn't fully thought through when it was being made, but I suppose this is their chance to create some sort of definitive version of events, although personally I prefer to view retrilogy as its own entity/narrative I agree about the LS sequence! I was thinking about how we already saw big parts of it with Tifa in Gongaga. I feel like they kept dancing around the "not really friends" reveal in rebirth (the Gongaga scene, a brief convo after Tifa's cat sidequest in Nibelheim) so I'm hoping they plan to fully get into that with the LS sequence in game 3, I feel like it's important. I was thinking they were going to really dig into that and maybe spend even more time on Nibelheim but adding in the reality of the FC scene/Aerith's fate would also be a good addition. I can't decide if I think Aerith dropped Zack back in terrier or if he's in Beagle... Terrier feels too important to just move on from like this so we are probably not done with it and thus he is likely there but I know a lot of people think he is in Beagle now. Also need to see how the Cloud saving Aerith during the FC scene reality plays into things... And thank you, I will watch that 👀

Oh god, yeah, the ZaCloud argument is one of the most awful and annoying ones in the fandom and I hate that is has so much traction. I'm willing to allow for the benefit of the doubt and believe that there is a number of people who don't fully understand exactly how the Jenova cells work or what Cloud's persona is because the English localisation is iffy in places, and the more detailed explanation is the Ultimania which a lot of people won't have read. But I do think there are also a number of fans arguing that "Cloud is Zack" in very bad faith because it gives them a convenient reason to dismiss anything Cloud says or does that they don't like. Even though, as you say, it could not be more obvious how different they are.

I wouldn't worry too much about CC - I can't find the interview now but I definitely saw one with one of the devs (Nojima, I think), talking about how if they'd had Retrilogy in mind they would have planned CC better. I think they're incorporating some elements but not others, so how much of it is really canon to Retrilogy is up in the air.

Oh they are definitely dancing around the not-really-childhood-friends reveal. There are some lines in Tale of Two Pasts that hint at it as well as the in-game quests. And even Tifa's GS date has her saying she "can't remember a time when we were this close". I think they'll also show the true version of the false memory from Remake to hammer it home. I think it's such an important reveal for understanding both Cloud and Tifa's characters and the dysfunction in their relationship, they have to dive into it - but I think definitely think they want to do more with the LS sequence this time, hence Gongaga.

My current prediction is: in the Northern Crater Sephiroth will break Cloud by revealing that Aerith is dead, with some sort of vibe of "of course you couldn't save her, you're just a copy/clone". Cloud will look to Tifa to reassure him that Aerith is alive, and she won't be able to do so. Then when we get to the LS, they'll start with the childhood reveal and SOLDIER, then pivot to the FC at which point Tifa will remember the flash of both worlds she saw at the end of Rebirth and realise Cloud did save Aerith - or a version of her, as I think Zack may also come into it at that point as proof of multiple worlds.

I go back and forth on what world Zack's in. I think it also depends what world Cloud's in - I definitely believe he's in a different world at the end of Rebirth, so possibly Zack's now in the world Cloud just left. But we've absolutely not seen the end of Terrier, I fully believe the endgame of P3 will involve Terrier Aerith and Cloud finally waking up.

[prove-it-or-lose-it]

Thanks for adding to the conversation! I was just saying to your friend that these are the kind of interactions that I'd like to have and a big reason why I started my blog. This kind of good-faith honest conversation is sorely lacking in the world, in my opinion.

But on to your points. You bring up some good stuff, but there's a number of things I'm going to push back on and I welcome any follow-up you might have if you're willing to continue the discussion.

First of all, I have indeed broken my fair share of the ten commandments and in my understanding one would be hard pressed to find a single person who hasn't gone against at least one of these mandates. Where I think we'll disagree though, is whether we should adopt these rules on the basis that they come from a supreme being that makes them so. In order to accept that these commandments are worthy of adhering to, I'd have to first accept that there is a god and that this is how it wants me to behave. In the absence of sufficient evidence for any god, my morality comes from elsewhere and allows for nuance and can change when and if I receive new information that would affect it.

That actually brings me to your next point; god is just. My morality has determined that a lot of things either commanded by or directly done by the god described in the Bible are the opposite of just. I think we'd both agree that slavery, for example, is immoral and repugnant, but there are multiple passages in the Bible that condone it as a direct commandment from god. I can't reconcile things like that with a picture of a deity that is loving and just. And in the case of punishment for transgressions, I think those described by the Bible are disproportionate and cruel to the point where you're no longer talking about justice but rather vengeance.

We could talk all day about morality and never even scratch the surface of how complex the topic really is, but what it all hinges on is that I cannot accept the authority of a being I have no evidence for. Couple that with the fact that there are many proposed gods who all have their own particular demands of us, that I don't have any way of knowing which of them (if any) could possibly be correct. I have no choice but to draw my morality from a different, more evidence-based standpoint.

As for Jesus and his sacrifice, I again have to say that I don't have evidence that this was the true reason for his death, or that it resulted in my potential salvation. Where I transgress upon the autonomy of another person with my actions, I do my best to make amends with that person and I lack any good reason to believe that it's necessary to square that away with an unseen observer who judges me based on what I do on earth, given that there's no demonstration that there's any observer there.

One thing I really have trouble understanding is why there needed to be a sacrifice to begin with. From my point of view, the whole story goes that god made a universe that he could have made any way he wanted to, but he built all kinds of flaws into us that he knew were there. He also knew that he was going to punish us for those flaws, knew that many of us wouldn't find the available evidence for him sufficient to warrant belief. Then he sent Christ who is effectively god incarnate, made flesh (I hope I'm not mistaken in thinking that you view him more like I did when I was in the church, feel free to correct me) so that he could sacrifice himself to himself to create a loophole in the rules that he himself made and thus we can be saved. This is not consistent with a creator that is claimed to be all powerful, all knowing, all loving or otherwise perfect. I don't even think it makes sense that a perfect being could create something that is obviously flawed, yet I'm sure we'd both agree that the picture of the world we see has many flaws.

I'll touch briefly on your note about the resurrection, but honestly I'm still going to have the same troubles with that as I've stated before and I don't really want to keep making the same point. I still don't see that a resurrection is evidenced by what the disciples did afterwards. Neither of us believe in scientology, I'm sure, but Hubbard was able to spawn a gigantic movement built on ideas that neither of us would credit as true. Do you see how I'm failing to track that the growth of a movement necessitates that its tenets are true, given that example? What you're describing there with the Messiah prophecy and how events unfolded is entirely consistent with what we've seen in many instances of modern failed prophecies, which amounts to post hoc rationalizations when events don't go as expected. If I look at what people in the Jewish faith proclaim about the prophecy not being fulfilled, and then at the Christian claim that the prophecy has been fulfilled, who am I to trust given that they are on equally weak evidentiary foundations? I don't have enough evidence to draw any conclusion here, so I can't say that I'm convinced of either one. This is further complicated when I start to consider the claims made by Islam. They're all starting at similar points but then branch out into wildly different stories, each with their own demands on my behavior with little evidence supporting them.

I'm afraid I've rambled on at length, and I could go on longer. It's a complicated topic, and we're not likely to convince one another to change our minds, but I do appreciate this discussion. Thanks for engaging honestly and being willing to share your views with me! Even though we don't agree I'm glad for the chance to bounce these ideas back and forth.

"you are enough" no. no we are not. none of us are enough. we are only enough by God's grace. Christ died for us, and considered us worth it, though. while we were yet sinners he died for us! he didn't wait until we were perfect to die for us. he made us perfect by dying for us. we're not enough, he makes us enough.

[nintensonyreviewguy]

Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl Review

Pokemon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl remain a great topic of discussion and division as well as tension among fans to this day. The games were both announced and released back in late 2021.

Two pre-release screenshots showing off the graphics for the game.

I will always remember being taken back at first by the graphic style of choice when the games were first announced in the Pokemon Presents trailer back in February 2021. The graphics stay quite true to the original games with the topdown 2D sprite perspective in the overworld but with full fledged 3D models ala Pokemon Sword and Shield on the battling screens. It is something that I can agree with many that I am not fond of. I feel like the game itself would of done a lot better if the entire graphical presentation was in the format, of you know, the primary Generation 8 games! It also would of done quite a bit nicer if some of the areas such as the Battle Zone and Stark Mountian retained their designs from Platinum too. Pokemon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl are a primary example of where staying too faithful to the original games is not always a good thing. The biggest takeaway I find is that not all, at the time of their release, 898 species in some way, shape, or form were included. At the same time, I kinda get wanting to stay faithful in that respect but it would of been very nice to at least have the other 405 to be included in the post-game if not all of them were there like Sword and Shield, where they only included 664 of the 898 at the time. I feel like the game would of done a lot better if it actually included many of the things that made Pokemon Platinum stand out and that enhanced Diamond and Pearl to the fullest. I always hate it when the developers of a Remake don't appreciate the value of the other special editions that made the original better over the years. A primary example of this is also Pokemon's other work of Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, where it didn't include the fabled Battle Frontier of Emerald, the other third version successor before Platinum. Of course, wouldn't you know it, they didn't learn their lesson the first time and failed to include the Battle Frontier from Platinum into this game as well.

Key artwork from Pokemon Platinum featuring the Distortion World.

The fact that they threw the Legendary Pokemon Giratina into a small room within a optional post-game area and called it a day is extremely upsetting, disappointing, & almost flat out unacceptable. I feel like including the many of the elements from Pokemon Platinum that made Sinnoh stand out more where the main antagonist Cyrus got a way stronger character arc and where Giratina was included at the Spear Pillar and even got it's own unique and special dungeon of the Distortion World from Platinum alongside it's other two kin Dialga and Palkia would of been amazing and would of made the two games leagues better than what they were! The other thing I have to also nitpick and take apart is the fact that they didn't bother for including some conviences such as the EXP. Candies that were introduced to 2019's Sword and Shield games. I think it would of made getting a 100% encyclopedia less of a chore. That's another thing I want to nitpick too! It would of been very nice if they included the expanded Pokemon Platinum Sinnoh Dex within the main adventure. While it is great that they bothered to include more Fire types before battling Champion Cynthia (which was one of the issues that Diamond and Pearl had), it would of been nice to have seen them have a place in the main story again as an official written Pokedex entry. While I feel there are several things wrong with Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl, I believe that there are some merits that need to be taken into account for this review. The fact that they didn't entirely go out to remove some of the beloved elements such as coveted Vs. Seeker and Poke Radar are a welcome and this in case, needed, addition that has been missed out on for many years! I also really like how the Gym Leaders and Elite Four can all be rematched at higher levels and that some of them even have their teams from Platinum after you defeat the Pokemon League for the first time. It's a really nice touch that I don't see a lot of people talking about when they review the game. The little things such as Autosave, showing Type effectiveness in battle, and adding the Rotom Catlog item for Rotom. Also being able to pull out Bibarel on the flick of a dime for the formerly annoying HM moves to do your dirty work and navigate the vast world of Sinnoh via the Hidden Moves app is amusing and very convenient! Catching Diamond and Pearl up to speed with these Remakes and modernizing some of the things to be in line with the rest of the series is a good thing they did. I just wish that it was executed more cohesively than it was and not the scrambled up mess that we got for the final product!

All in all, I feel Pokemon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl are an example of corporate greed at it's finest and using the nostalgia of an older work to as well enticing marketing to make a quick buck. I feel like these games could of done so much better on many different levels. I give them an "OK" score on my Rating System.

My Final Score: ★★★★ - "OK" 4/10

[hoodieofholland]

Prove you something // Mob!Tom Smut

Summary: you get jealous over a meeting Tom have with another woman without your knowledge, and he has to prove you something.

Pairing: mob!tom x reader

Word count: ~4.5K

Warnings: smut (18+), fingering (f.), oral (f.), language.

A/n: I’m a sucker for mob!Tom, judge me, but these last contents we’ve been receiving for the past month are the blame. here we go again, enjoy.

Masterlist

****************************************************

As a mob, Tom had to deal with a lot of different people throughout his busy day. You were used to the meetings all the time, even when it was past afternoon, hiting the midnight. Patiently, you'd wait your turn to share some good time with your boyfriend, unless he wanted you to stay for the day, besides him, in the conference room.

Today was slightly different. Tom was held for hours in the conference room, talking business, while you distracted yourself with some other work. But by the time it was around 7p.m., you were bored enough to walk up the place, wanting to know when he'd be over.

Wearing your favorite pyjamas, you walked through the silent house, and just as approaching the conference room, you heard an unusual type of voice.

"Listen, Tom, I'm not here to discuss the shitty situation..."

It got your attention, made you stop in your tracks to hear better, all because it was a female voice. Normally, Tom would always meet with men, them being the mob leaders around London. Not a woman.

You tried to sneak around and see if there were another voice in the room, but as soon as you put your ear to the door's thick wood, Harrison came up behind your figure, making you jump.

"Holy shit!" You screamed in whispers. "Jesus, Harrison, you scared the hell out of me!"

Harrison didn't make any effort to cover his laughter, making you shush him.

"Sneaking around, uh?" He teased through laughters. "You know what Tom says about listening behind closed doors. Someday it might come back to you".

Trying to contain your madness, you cross your arms around your chest and snort. "It's meant for you guys, you idiot. He's not talking about his girlfriend".

"Are you really sure?", still holding his teasing smile, he tilts his head a little. Eyeing the door again, he pouted. "Why didn't he invite you tonight, then?"

"Said it was some small business and wouldn't take that long". You shrugged, though you knew it was bullshit. Tom had already been inside that fucking room for what seemed forever. It wasn't any small business talk, for what it matters.

"I can tell you that there's not small talking inside there" he pointed his chin in the room's direction. "Melissa is right there".

A little confused, but still not wanting to give your feelings away, you stay cool with your voice. "Who is Melissa?"

Harrison’s eyes narrowed and you can tell he had no idea you didn’t know about a single thing that was going on inside there.

“Melissa. The majoriest woman in this whole fucking city. She’s, like, the only female mobster leader in England”. The emphasis in his voice made you feel the message he wanted to deliver. You felt even somewhat a little weak, as if the weight of the presence of that woman could be sensed in your lungs.

Harrison quirked a brow, waiting for your answer, but you didn’t say nothing. Why was Tom lying to you? Why he didn’t want you to know that this woman was right inside the room with him?

“Is he alone there?” You questioned Haz, who shakes his head negatively.

“No, I was there a couple of minutes ago. Just grabbing a cup of tea”. He lifted the mug on his hand. “There’s also her guard or something. The chick is a bit... ugh”

You felt the weight again. “What the fuck does ugh means?!”

Harrison was about to explain, but seeing your exasperated reaction, he just smiled teasingly again. “I think someone is jealous”.

You puffed your cheeks out in frustration, wanting to tug on your hair, or maybe on Harrison’s.

“You’re being ridiculous” you tried your best to sound neutral about the fact that your boyfriend was inside a not very large room with a woman you didn’t know nothing about, but it was getting harder as Harrison seemed like having some fun torturing you.

“Don’t worry, y/n, that’s not what I meant” he chuckled softly and gave you a apologetic smile. “It’s just business, that’s all. You know Tom is far from being suspicious”.

You knew that very well, and if you were being honest, that was not your concern. That didn’t make you less jealous, though. Tom was the most faithful man you knew, not only with you, but with his mates. He could do anything for you and he surely had already proved that you’re the only woman in his life.

Anyways, the thought of that powerful woman inside the fucking room was driving you mad.

“I wanna go inside”, you stated, already turning on your heels. Harrison was quick to grab your wrist, trying to stop you from entering the room.

“Y/n, what the fuck, he doesn’t want to-“

But you were too fast. Yanking the door open, you hear a slight gasp coming from Harrison and the entire room goes silent.

The first thing you notice is Tom, who were crudely interrupted by you. He looked tense with the conversation, eyes heavy, shoulders rigid. His elbow was supported by the large desk in front of his chair, while he seemed to gesticulate with his hand whilst talking to the woman, Melissa. His gaze was directed on you, a questioning look on his features, which didn’t softened like it always did when he talked to you.

“Sorry, I told her-“ Harrison was quick to say, but Tom interrupted him.

“What took you so long?” Ignoring your presence, without changing a single word with you, Tom averted his eyes to Harrison, who came out behind you and sat back at his chair.

“She wanted to come” he answered quietly, unsure of what to say.

Tom looked at you once more, face serious, as he seemed to calculate what say next.

“Why don’t you go wait in the living room, y/n?”

You open your mouth, just to close it again immediately. You didn’t recognize the way Tom was talking to you, almost harshly.

"What, Thomas? You don't enjoy a good woman's company? C'mon, let the girl sit with us" Melissa, who you just had the worry to look at said, putting her long polished nails over her chin. She eyed you up and down before speaking again. "What a beautiful girl you have, by the way. You didn't tell me she was all of that".

Tom closed his eyes briefly, jaw clenching, as he sighed heavily in frustration. You knew he was getting mad, and though you still didn't know why, you made up your mind.

"I'm fine, gonna wait in the room. Sorry for-"

"It's alright", he shook his head and looked back to Melissa. "It was good talking to you, but I need time to figure it out before we decide anything", Tom stood up from his chair and waited until the woman did the same. "I'm going to have a talk with my men and then I call you back".

Melissa smiled, but you could see very clearly that it was nothing but a false smile. "I'll keep in touch".

Tom just nodded once and waited for Melissa to walk out of the room, guided by Harrison, who was equally tense as he made his way to the door. Before she exited the room, Melissa had an eye on you again, a tiny smile making its presence on her face.

You shivered, too aware of the dangerous and power Harrison told you she held, clear in the way she wasn't afraid to show she was staring at you.

When the doors were closed, you couldn't lift your gaze from the floor. However, it was possible to see Tom by the corner of your eyes and the way he was supporting both of his hands on the desk, staring so intently at you that you bet he could see your goosebumps.

"Now that you have my attention", he started, voice deep. "Won't you say what was so important that you couldn't wait 'til I was over?"

You didn't say anything, neither looked at him, frozen on your spot.

"I'm talking to you".

His stern act had you conflicted. He would always use it in bed with you, but never got so mad at something that you did. Something that you didn't even know what was all about.

"You were taking too long, so I wanted to see if everything was alright", you answered, keeping your voice loud and clear enough, not wanting to give him the impression that you were intimidated by his words.

Tom snorted. "That's bullshit. I've already been out until later than this and you stayed in our room".

You roll your eyes, voice cheating you as the irritation consumes your thoughts. "Well, in these nights you weren't with a girl inside here".

Tom's face changed and a brow arched as a trace of a smirk made its way to his face. You had lost your though posture and you knew it.

"Are you jealous?" He chuckles, incredulous, "Really?"

You snort, unfolding your arms. Looking relaxed is the last thing you seem to be able to do right now, but also you didn't want to sound so immature being jealous over nothing.

"No, I am not. I'm just mad that... that you didn't tell me who you were meeting with." You corrected him, though you were too aware it was pretty much a lie. With an unwanted whine, you continue "And why you didn't let me in this time? You see, you just left a whole amount of suspicious things to my imagination."

Tom narrows his eyes, a mix of curiosity and confusion evident on his face.

"You don't actually believe it yourself, do you?" He questioned, a suspicious tone in his voice. A bit ashamed, you glanced down and nodded two times.

"I mean, Harrison just told me she's the biggest woman in London, or some shit like that" you shrugged involuntarily and felt tired, as you started to realise how silly you must be sounding.

It was pretty obvious to you that none of that should matter. Actually, it never did. Tom never turned his head to another woman but you, since you met. He never talked about any other girl than you, and you could tell he bragged about how much of a "lucky motherfucker" he was, as Harrison started complaining about Tom's random rambling just the other day.

Tom had done nothing but adored you since the first time he called you darling. And now you were overreacting because of a common meeting of his.

Tom sighed heavily and offered you his hand. Looking at it for one second, you reach for him, and he brings you closer. "That's probably my fault".

You tilt your head, not understanding his point. Tom sits down back on his chair e mention for you to take a seat on his thigh.

"Don't get me wrong, darling. I let you come to meetings only if I'm one hundred percent sure there's no harm on that. When I'm with friends, not my enemies" he caress two slender fingers through your cheek and you almost close your eyes in please, if it wasn't for his deep stare, full of concern and comprehension. "That woman is nothing but trouble for me and my men. She doesn't like us, I don't like her, but, apparently, one of my man messed up with one of her best one, so I was trying to settle everything down before one of us start a fucking fight about it. Obviously, she hates me and every single one of my mates, and that's why I didn't want you here today. My most important job is to keep you safe, y/n. I've already dragged you too far into this mess, I can't expose you even more."

By the look in his eyes, anyone could tell how Tom meant it. He worried about you and your protection had become a topic of discussions too much for your liking.

He shifts his position, making it more comfortable for you, hand resting in your cheek. His expression earned an even more stern look, almost in pain as he looked deeper in your eyes.

"Do you really think that you should worry about Melissa?" He asks, voice low and soft.

You didn't answer right away. Instead, you tugged at his white plain shirt's collar, breathing slowly as you tried to manifest more of your composure than before.

"A little" you confess, shrugging slightly as if it wasn't that big of a deal. But for Tom, it surely was.

"Darling... why would you be jealous over that woman?" The pad of his index finger touched in the slightest move your bottom lip, tracing delicate paths over it. "Why would you ever be jealous over any woman? You know I love you". He looked up once again, a brow arching as he seemed to doubt his own conviction. "Don't you know?"

You shake your head yes and bite your lip. "Of course I do".

"Then why did you have something in your imagination?"

You sigh quietly. "Yeah, it was silly", taking his free hand and in yours, you play with his fingers, trying to hide your embarrassment. "I'm sorry-"

"It's alright, love", he gives you a small yet sweet smile. "You see, I get jealous all the time. Much more than you do. Think it's fair enough".

You giggle. "Yes, you do. I hate that and did the same. Sorry".

Tom shakes his head and brings his face closer to yours, planting a soft kiss in the corner of your mouth. "What a silly little girl you are. How would you ever think I'd ever have eyes for another girl, when I've got the prettiest with me?"

You release a breathe, your grip at Tom's shirt stronger, pulling him closer. "You'd be really dumb if you did, yeah."

Tom smiles in your mouth and you do as well. "Guess I haven't been showing my girl how much I appreciate her properly lately" he whispers, heading his lips along your jaw, to chase a soft spot on your neck. "Tell me, love, would you like to feel it?" His low and seductive words sent a shiver right through your spine, making you release a quiet moan in anticipation.

"Do you want to feel how much I adore you?" He breaths in your neck, smelling your sweet scent, as carefully grabs your thighs to get you to straddle his lap. "How much I adore your pretty little moans and whines? Those wonderful sounds you make just for me?"

You nod yes, adjusting your position on Tom's lap, rubbing against his crotch on accident and feeling he grunt with the contact.

"Use your words, my love. Need to hear you". He insists, running both his hands to your ass, grabbing each cheek firmly. When you whine a timid 'yes', he smirks against your smooth skin. "Always so eager for me", with precise movements, he guides your hips to meet his, creating a perfect friction between both of you. You could feel his hard against your pulsing center, claiming for more.

Tom lets out a struggled sigh, as if he was holding himself back when feeling your center pressing against him. "See? Only you can make me this hard".

You gulp, trying to catch your breath as your hands make its way to his trousers, but Tom is quick to deny it and stop you. "No, pretty girl. As much as I'm aching to feel you right now, I need to prove you something" he smirks playfully. His right hand releases your bum and goes to your front, making a smooth path in his way to your breast. He put your hard nipples between two fingers, pulling it softly. You moan and move your hips over his lap. Tom's jaw tenses up. "Fuck, darling". He presses his hand firmly on your hip to settle you down, as you smile apologetic.

"Need you, Tom". You whine, arching your back so you were even closer to him.

"Yeah?" He smirks, hand going back to work, sliding inside your pyjamas' short. Tom's brows arch in surprise. "No panties?"

You bite your lip. "When I came down here, I was thinking that maybe we could do something. After you were done".

He chuckled a bit, his cocky smile showing off. "So you were planning on getting fucked in my office?" You only nod once, feeling your center pulse and your cheek heat up. "You dirty, dirty girl".

Tom reaches your pulsing core, a single digit sliding through your wet folds. "God, baby, you're so wet". You moan, letting your weight loose on top of Tom, whose strong arms could handle it. "I barely touched you".

"Stop teasing me, Tom" you claim, eyes closed, as you feel he was threatening to enter two fingers inside you, but collecting them all together again.

"Darling, I think you shouldn't have a word about anything today" he says calmly. "After all, you interrupted my meeting, messed my work up. All because you couldn't wait to get fucked. Do you think you were good, y/n?"

You swallow hard, voice trembling. "N-no".

Tom smiles satisfied. "Yes. Now, though you don't deserve any of that, I'm a man of my word, and I said I was going to show you what my girl is worth of". He gesticulates briefly and you have to take a few seconds to understand he wants you to get up.

You do so, waiting until he gets up too. Confused, you stare at him, who cups your face, kissing the tip of your nose.

"I want you to sit in my chair". He murmurs and you can't help the surprise in your face.

"Why's that?" You frown and he only gestures his head to the chair again. With no other choice, you find yourself doing as you were told.

It was a strange feeling, the soft material of his chair against the bare skin of your exposed leg, where your thin shorts couldn't reach. Strange, because nobody would ever sit on Tom's chair. It wasn't exactly a rule, but everyone did better than risking taking what was his, and that being the biggest and most imposing chair in the conference room, only he could sit there. And maybe that's what entertained him that moment, the sight of you in a place that held so much power as that chair.

It took a good few seconds for you to relax there, and Tom didn't take his eyes from you the whole time. Staring, he would lick his lips, arms crossed over his chest, making his muscular arms very visible for you.

"You know, you could do this. I can picture you sitting here, making demands", he says, as if he was deep in thoughts moments ago, approaching you with hungry eyes. He puts his hands over the chairs' arm rest and lean in you, smiling.

You feel your heart race and try to correct your breathing. "Really?" You arch a brow incredulously. "Don't think I could be so tough".

"You learn this with time, darling", he reassures you, "But I think we'd have to manage who'd be in charge from time to time. I can share it with you, but not give it all. Would you like that?" You knew that by this time he wasn't talking about the mob.

With a charming smile, Tom gets down on both knees and puts his hands in yours. "Yeah, I think", you say in a whisper, too concentrated in his actions to say otherwise or anything else.

"Mmm. You're such a delicate angel", he opens your legs slowly, grabbing the back of your knee to pull you in to him. You gasp in surprise, holding the arm rest to keep yourself steady. "I imagine how you'd look like taking control. Perfect, I know".

It was a sight to see, a powerful man like Tom on his knees, a position you never thought you'd see him at. He looked like he was at your mercy, under your control, just as if he was there to please you, though he still did take the command.

"Tom, please", you whine, not giving a care about sounding desperate anymore.

"Patient, my love. Wanna take my sweet time with you", he pats your leg so you can lift your hips to help him take off your shorts. "Cause that's what I appreciate doing with you. Take every single part of you, make you mine. Slowly". He brings you closer and you pant when he kisses the inner of your thigh, eyes never leaving yours. "Take care of my girl, as she deserves".

You feel yourself growing anxious as you tried to stay still when he brought his lips up to your core. "You smell so good, love. Can't wait to taste it". His lips make no hurry to reach your folds, hot breath hitting your aching center. He looks up at you, wicked smile, as his mouth hover you, teasing.

By this time, you’re already dripping, walls clenching around nothing for the expectation. Finally, you felt Tom's lips connecting with your pussy lips, skillful tongue smoothly licking your arousal, spreading it all over your core.

He put his tongue inside of you, tasting it, adoring the way you'd roll your eyes back with pleasure. "Sweet as fucking candy". He murmurs with his mouth against you, causing vibrations all over your cunt.

You moan when he flicks his tongue over your bud, and tug at his hair. The reaction comes right away and Tom moans against you, putting one of his fingers inside you, but not deep enough, waiting for you to adjust as your walls stretched deliciously. "Can feel you swallowing my finger, baby. You want me?”

"Tom", you whine, arching your back as Tom pushes his fingers deeper inside you. "Please. Gimme more".

"You want more, sweet girl?" Tom smirks, entering you as much as he could, adding a second finger to your pulsing core. You felt the cold of his silver ring against your hot skin, causing you to have goosebumps. Feeling you clench around him, Tom started fingering you, hands precisely moving to stuff you in the most raving way. He took his pace, fast enough to the sound of your wetness fill up the room.

He laps your bud once again, repeatedly, catching it between his lips once in a while and sucking, making you release a loud moan.

You tugged harder in his curls and that's when he realized you were close. "My beautiful girl is close? Can feel you clenching, baby."

You nod once, trying to catch your breath as your hips rock against his fingers. Tom took them out and you almost pulled his hair for that, but he soon replaced it with his firm tongue. "C'mon, darling, fuck yourself on my tongue".

You did so, not caring about your messed movements or your loud noises. Tom was right there, holding you hip down with one hand to keep you steady and stimulating your clit with his thumb with another. It was the most beautiful sight you could have and you were on the verge of your edge.

"You're- fuck, so fucking hot, Tom" you cry out, head falling back. "Shit! 'M close"

Tom started to fuck his tongue inside you again. Your toes curl, your belly burns and your heart couldn't beat faster. Tom grabbed the back of your legs and abruptly brought you closer to his face, keeping his tongue firm and thumb working on your bud. He replaced it with his two wet fingers for a moment, just to speak to you and coax your orgasm. “Look at you, baby, so, so beautiful when you’re coming. Fuck, wish they all could see what a pretty and dirty girl I’ve got right here, angel”.

You moan and Tom can tell you’re about to lose it, putting his tongue back to work. "That's it, love, cum on my tongue, make a sweet mess on my face".

You couldn't hold back anymore. Your whole body felt like sparkles, as you tightened your grip on Tom's hair, chest panting, muscles rigid, voice coming out as the loudest moan of your night. It’s all about you now, what you feel. Tom is right there, holding you, controlling your body squirming with his strong hands.

Tom helps you ride out your orgasm, tongue and fingers never leaving you. His noise bumped into your clit as he seemed to enjoy licking your juices, face still lost between your legs. But when you finally saw him again, you thought you could have another orgasm just from the look on his face.

"Fuck", you pant, still trying to catch your breath. "You're- you're all covered-"

Before you could even finish, Tom got up from his knees and took your face in between his hands, capturing your lips on his. The kiss was messy, clashing tongues and teeth, but it was all pleasure. You could taste yourself, take what Tom had left on his lips. It was sweet - a mix of both of you.

"You're a fucking mess right now" you tell him, a slight giggle coming out of your dry throat, wiping some of the wetness from his chin.

"I know", he smiles back at you, pecking your lips once more. He catches the fingers you used to clean his face and leads it to him mouth, sucking on them gently. "Proudly. Who else in this fucking world can have the pleasure of being a mess with your cum, eh?"

You shove his shoulders playfully and spin the chair. "Well, I think I could truly run things here. Feel very powerful now".

Tom puts his hand on the back of the chair to stop it from moving. "That's because you had me between your legs just a few seconds ago, love", he smirks "But I think we can manage that".

You get up from the chair and put your hands on the collar of his shirt, gripping it between your fingers. "Good", you look up at him, smiling devilishly. "First thing, though, I remember you were here to prove me something".

"Oh, darling" he chuckled darkly. "We surely are not finished yet".