#if this isn’t coherent it’s late and i’m upset

[space-fam-has-my-heart]

it’s fucking succession…no one offically called it except fox and wisconsin being one of the two key states to calling it…

[piedpiperart]

You Could Know Me pt 2

Chapter One

Jason was regretting going to the manor this morning. For one, the whole family was dealing with the League of Assassins again. Unbeknownst to most of them, Ra’s apparently had a pretty big grudge against Tim. Jason was impressed to hear about the whole blowing up all of the league bases, but that isn’t the most important thing here. 

No, the most important thing about this whole thing is that Ra’s was trying to get back at Tim, and Jason had been left with a choice to make. It was Tim, Duke and Jason facing off against an army of highly trained ninjas. Tim was injured, barely able to stand, and the rest of the bats were held up in some sort of trap downtown. Jason never did get the details on that situation. 

No, Jason was too busy trying to keep Tim out of Ra’s hands. Duke, Jason’s new favorite brother, took his advice to get Tim and get out while Jason stayed to take on the ninja horde. At that point, Tim was barely conscious, but Duke was able to use the shadows to sneak away, who wouldn’t have if Tim had been able to make a coherent sentence. Jason hoped they’d gotten to the medbay and were able to figure out a way to save the others before it was too late.

As for Jason, well. He was just now waking up in one of Ra’s’ bases, who knows where, broken ribs on one side and nasty cuts all over. Possibly a concussion too, Jason amended. He took stock of himself, disappointed but not surprised to find most of his equipment gone. No body armor, lockpicks, guns or knives anywhere, much to his discomfort. At least Ra’s couldn’t take away the All Blades, Jason thought wryly. 

Not long after he woke up in the cell, the doors opened. Two assassins stepped into his cell, ordering him to follow. Jason did so, grumbling in displeasure. He knew he wouldn’t be able to make it out of there without his weapons. No, for now he needed to play along, gain some information. He needs to know what Ra’s plans are for Tim, and if he’d managed to capture anyone else during his adventure in Gotham. 

“If it isn’t the Red Hood,”Ra’s drawled when Jason came into view. He’d been led to an absolutely massive room, and much to Jason’s terror he caught sight of a green glowing pool not too far away. “I apologize, I was not quite prepared for you.”

Jason grinned,”Upset about Red Robin foiling your plans again?”

Ra’s didn’t take the bait, instead continued. “It is of no matter. Plans can always be changed.”

Jason’s eyes narrowed. He wasn’t sure what Ra’s was playing at, but knew he wouldn’t like it one bit. Looking around, he noticed a few guards around the Lazarus Pits, but looked away to avoid the green glow in his vision. 

“You see, I had wanted Timothy to meet a special someone, and yet, I find myself thinking that you might be a better fit for my plans,”Ra’s said chillingly, tilting his head towards the Pits. 

Meet someone? Jason thought wildly, mind running through all the people closest to Ra’s. “I doubt Tim would be more willing to play your games than me,”Jason scowled. 

“And yet, he is the smarter of the bunch,”Ra’s sighed wistfully in a way that made Jason want to gag,”You see, years ago, around when Timothy was born, there was another child born that caught my attention,”Before Jason could ask where the fuck this story was going, the creepy bastard continued,”I had been surveilling the Bat, as I’m sure you’re aware, when I came across information of a woman leaving a certain Gala. I thought nothing of it at the time, but nine months later she’d given birth to a small child.”

Jason’s mind raced with the possibility of another of Bruce’s bio kids, Ra’s next words made him freeze up,”Imagine my surprise when the child was not of the Bats, but of the birds.” Ra’s dropped, and Jason could barely breathe. 

“You see, Miss Mary Parker had attended the gala and had a bit of a fling with the young Grayson. You know, young love is so fleeting, it was no wonder that the two were horribly intoxicated when they conceived the child. And yet, when her parents found out they had planned to use the child to blackmail billionaire Brucie Wayne.”

��For money?” Jason whispered, in complete shock that Dick had had a whole child as a teen, and the poor girl who was caught between such shitty options. And if the kid was already Tims age that meant Dick was only 16 at most when it happened. Jason felt sick. 

“Naturally, I couldn’t let the Bat become distracted with this matter, at least not yet,”Ra’s smirked, catching Jason’s eye. Jason didn’t even care if he was showing his emotions on his face, this shit was horrible. He hadn’t known Dick had… Jason shook his head. He had to figure out what Ra’s game was. Freak out could come later. “So I had her and her parents killed.”

“The baby went to Miss Parker’s brother and his wife for the time being. The boy was to grow up with his aunt and uncle until I had a use for him,”Ra’s said, beginning to let out a more sadistic grin. “All the more reason for you to be here, I suppose.”

“What do you mean?” Jason drawled carefully. None of this made sense to him, especially when he was still reeling from the shock of the whole thing. 

Ra’s tsked. “You had been changed by the pits, angry, destructive,”The assassin listed. “Imagine your family’s surprise when yet another family member has the same affliction.”

Jason blanched, watching as Ra’s made some sort of signal to a guard, who left the room. “You want to put the kid in the pits? And what, send him to kill his own dad?” 

Ra’s looked at him with a glint in his eye. “I assure you, I have much bigger plans for the boy. For starters, I can’t allow you to leave now that you know about the boy. I can’t imagine they’d cope well with the boy’s backstory, not to mention his current situation. I bet you’d understand quite well how badly that can go, hm?”

Jason gritted his teeth. “And what? You put the kid in the pits and hope he doesn’t go insane?  What’s your plan here, and why would you need me at all?”

Ra’s seemed in the mood to indulge him, and merely answered,”You’re merely here to witness the rebirth of Red Hood’s origin,”He grinned sickly, and Jason lunged for the man, only to be stopped by a total of four assassins holding him back. 

At the same time, the doors at the far wall opened to reveal a small form being dragged between other assassins. Jason watched with horror as he recognized it as a kid, no older than 15 and dressed in torn and bloody civilian clothes and familiar curls on dark brown hair in between the assassins. The kid didn’t move or react at all to being dragged towards the pits, and Jason wanted to rage and run and pull the kid to safety all at once. 

“Young Peter Parker was raised by his aunt and uncle, until his Uncle died by gunshot right in front of him. Quite the coincidence, no? That the Bat’s own parents succumbed to the same fate. Of course, when we retrieved him, his aunt was still protective of the boy, so she had to go as well,”Ra’s stated calmly, like he was talking about the weather. It only made Jason more angry. 

Jason tuned out everything else Ra’s was saying as he struggled, gritting his teeth and watching this poor teenager get stabbed through the chest with a sword and unceremoniously tossed into the pit of glowing green water. Jason couldn’t breathe as he stared at the pools of green, surface still moving from the splash the kid made. Ra’s was going to pay for this, Jason promised himself, over and over for what seemed like hours until a scrawny pale hand breached the surface frantically. 

Letting out a breath of relief and trepidation, Jason shouted at Ra’s as the small boy dragged himself out of the pool of green, coughing and sputtering. His arms were shaking from the strain of holding himself up as he retched onto the ground. Moments later, assassins grabbed hold of him again and he saw the boy go limp in their arms. Jason continued to shout at Ra’s until he was hoarse, not even comprehending what he was saying. 

The rest passed in a daze of anger and fear and past memories as Jason was tossed back in the room disguised as a cell. He paced, yelling and banging on his door. He just wanted to see the kid. Peter. Dick’s son. He needed to make sure the kid was alright, to tell him none of it was his fault, to make sure he wasn’t alone when he woke up. 

Jason sat against the wall with his head between his knees, trying to calm his breathing. He needed to think. If he could get out and get to Peter… He cursed, mind racing with all the stupid shit his family’s been put through and what they’d ended up putting this kid through. 

Jason just hoped the kid would be okay. If he knew his family, they’d make sure of it, one way or another. 

Chapter 3

[darlingmissmoth]

Hi, my name is Moth and, uh, with “encouragement” from @babacontainsmultitudes (aka: “you should do it” and I went “yeah okay”) I have decided to do… A little (not a little) rambling about the kiddads (mostly Twin Focused, but still) cause I have many thoughts and feelings, most of which I tend to keep hidden but I have a blog and I’m making that everyone’s issue.

This probably won’t be totally coherent because my thoughts like to jump from point to point erratically so I’ll try to organize to the best of my ability? But there’s a good chance I’ll be all over the place! And it’s probably going to be… Very Fucking Long as a warning lmao

Anyway, uh, stuff under the read more :)

I’ve seen a lot of wild takes about the kiddads and their actions, and the general view on Sparrow is… Very Negative, from what I’ve gathered. I’ve seen a lot more positive as of late, but I still see a lot of hate. Which I get! If you do a skim of all he’s done, it isn’t a great picture. Telling your kid you aren’t proud of them, training your kids from a young age to kill things, his anger and upset, it isn’t good.

Then, of course, there’s Lark who tends to excuse Sparrow’s actions or try to smooth them over, it appears he’s the main one who did Hero’s training, and his anger is rough as well.

Then we have Grant and Nicky, one of whom is Overbearing, the other Distant.

All in all, the kiddads are, well… Not Great Parents to put it lightly.

But I think a lot of people tend to view all their actions through the lives of their own lives or what is “rational”, totally forgetting that the circumstances around the teen’s raising, around the kiddad’s lives, are not rational.

At the age of 11, all of them got kidnapped by their grandparents! And sold into slavery! They weren’t sure if they’d see their parents again! And while most of them took it in pretty good stride, they were 11 and most likely didn’t see the inherent danger of the situations they were in until they all got spirited away to Castle Ravenloft, where they had to deal with their grandparents and, no doubt, the abuse they dealt.

Both Nicky and Lark went through Real Life Or Death Experiences (not to say the other kids didn’t, but they were the only ones we see in S1 who got anywhere near actually dying) - and of them, Lark was the only one who felt death. It may have been a fake body, but that doesn’t change the fact that he actually felt himself die.

Grant had to kill something in such a horrible and gruesome way that we actively saw the way it changed his life. He got fucked up from it! Really badly. Mans is numb and struggling to feel anything which, of course, leads to a lot of self hate and self destructive habits.

And then, after all of this, Lark was manipulated by one of their abusers to stab his father and release The Doodler, which he didn’t fully understand the consequences of because, again, he’s 11. He was A CHILD.

Now he’s saddled with the knowledge he ended the world. He doomed his family, his friends, all because of an impulsive decision that he was manipulated into doing, yet he isn’t aware it was manipulation. He thinks it was just… Him. He chose to do it.

And now he, and all his friends, are wandering around trying to figure out how to stop this World Ending Creature that used to live in his family’s blood and it all seems terribly hopeless. But they keep trying. Because what else can you do? What is your other option? And he’s given a prophecy that says that his (or his twin’s) first born is the Only Thing that can stop said World Ending Creature. At the age of, like, 15.

Sparrow, who feels just as guilty for it, takes this onto his shoulders because he probably doesn’t want that tacked onto his brother’s conscious as well. Raising a kid just to be a tool because it’s either that or they continue to let this creature that he and his twin unleashed.

What were their other options? What other choices did they have? Let the world - the worlds - continue to die? They had to do something, and the only thing that would have worked - apparently - is to have this kid.

Meanwhile, Grant gets a kid and they’re in the fucking apocalypse, so of course he’s going to shelter his kid. He remembers what happened to him when he was put under extreme stress and in a life or death situation and he doesn’t want that for his baby. He loves Lincoln so much, loves his husband so much. Was it right to totally isolate him? No! Probably not! But he was terrified of the world, and he had every right to be.

A lot of people judge the kiddads under the lenses of our current world, but they need to remember that isn’t the setting. That isn’t their world. Maybe when they were children, but not now. Not when we see the teens.

Their world is a dying one, it’s scary, it’s dangerous. They did the best with the trauma they were saddled with, in a world that they were the cause of and could die in every single day. Do you think you could do better? Truly?

They did the best in the situations they were in, and for Grant, maybe he shouldn’t have had a kid. But he did! His husband wanted one and they were given one and they were small and innocent and sweet and Grant was smitten instantly. And people seem to forget he was a good dad! Lincoln turned out good! He’s smart and kind and gentle. He loved his dads so fucking much and didn’t realize anything was wrong until he was shoved into a position he shouldn’t have been in.

Grant raised him well. He raised him with love and adoration and did his best.

Sparrow and Lark did, too. They love their kids! No one can deny that! Sparrow and Lark love their kids. But it’s a dangerous world, and they knew at least one of their kids is the only hope humanity has. They had to make sure she could defend herself, she could take it down when the time came.

People also point at the homecoming scene for Sparrow and Lark and I agree that it wasn’t good. They fucked up. But it’s also made so, so clear that Sparrow loves Normal deeply. He adores his son. But it’s also canon that Normal reminds Sparrow of his younger self, who Sparrow is not proud of, and he desperately wanted better for his son. And Normal, had Sparrow and Lark not manifested, would have never known his dad wasn’t proud of him.

Which means Sparrow never let that show! Sometimes parents aren’t proud of their kid’s decisions, that’s just the long and short of it. And that should be okay. It should be okay to not agree with something your child does. But the important thing is that you don’t show it. And Sparrow NEVER DID. He NEVER ONCE showed Normal that he wasn’t proud. He showed love first and foremost always.

Which is why it came as a shock when he revealed otherwise. So he was doing good! He was a good parent!

Did they fumble? Yes. I’m not saying that any of them are totally blameless. They messed up a lot. They should have made better decisions. But they were also horribly traumatized, lost their innocence of childhood at the age of 11, and had to grow up in a doomed world with guilt on their shoulders and the fate of the world in their hands.

All of this to say that they are complex. They are human. At the core of this sillyfunny podcast, that is something that remains consistent. These aren’t characters on a traditional Hero’s Journey. They are regular people thrust into impossible situations that have to figure out how to cope with it on their feet. They’re flawed, they make bad decisions, and that is the point. They aren’t meant to be perfect or always know what to do. All of them are shades of gray. None of them are truly evil or truly good because no person is.

They’ll fuck up. They’ll make bad decisions spurred on by guilty consciouses or emotions. Some decisions won’t be rational because humans aren’t. We are made up of emotion and memory and personal values, and we make our decisions based around those things.

They aren’t perfect. They aren’t meant to be. They are complex and they are beautiful for that.

I’m sure there’s more I could say, but this is long enough as is, uh. If you want to hear more I guess either dm me or shoot me an ask about specific characters idk

Thanks for reading

[chayannecraft]

hey the last drawing will probably be uploaded tomorrow!! i know you'll understand but i've been very busy today :)

anyway i'm curious about if the other eggs have any sort of role in your au??

OH and if you want to talk abt what chayanne and phil's relationship is like, i've been very curious about that lol bc it seems like phil's both very protective of him and doesn't care about him that much. not saying you haven't thought it out i'm just eager to look more into his character!

Hello!! Yeah no I understand I’ve been super busy too. Finals season and everythang. It’s a curse. Oh my god. (Which is why im so late answering this ask hello omg!!!) But anyways yes hello oh my god questions!!!! 💖💖💖!!!!! YES!!! I WILL ANSWER

The other eggs have very loose roles but they do exist!! They sort of take up the space of the descendants-of-the-champions roles that Sidon and the others fill (although I’m not sure who is who at the moment, would have to think about that a little more!!) (I have no idea what role Tallulah plays, but I think she might be traveling around with Wilbur, more info on that later) but sometimes they’re also just like, normal random kids. They are all friends I promise. I don’t have a lot on them though so this is not that coherent.

CHAYANNE AND PHIL. WOUGH BOY. THIS IS A LONG ONE

You were right in that Phil is very protective of Chayanne!! I think a part of him knew Chayanne was The Chosen Hero, but when faced with the decision to send him off to what very well could have been his sons death, if not horrific trauma he was like um. No lol. Not doing that.

A consequence of the storyline in general is Phil isn’t very mentioned a lot, so it gives off the idea that he’s uncaring towards Chayanne, but I promise you that’s not the case!! (Not to make fun of you or call you out of course). Phil is actually very loving towards his son, and was devastated when he ran away with the Master Sword.

Then (for reasons I haven’t thought up yet) he’s pretty distracted but desperately trying to get his kid back. Until the calamity happens and they fail. Then he’s under the impression his son is just dead and he’s in mourning for the next 100 years (Why is he still alive in 100 years, you ask! Well! I took everything from these kids and I think taking their parents is a little bit too cruel so everybody is blessed by some sort of god that expands their lifespan a couple hundred ok :D!!!)

And then a little bit after botw someone goes to Philza and is like hey. The hero is back. He’s hanging out with Princess Pomme. He looks a lot like the missing hero from 100 years ago. Your son. Might be your son Phil. And Phil basically takes 3 seconds to process this before clawing himself up from his depression and being like OK. WE’RE GONNA GO GET HIM!!! AND IF ANYBODY TRIES TO STOP ME IM MAULING THEM. Of course he gets to hyrule RIGHT as totk plot starts and Chayanne goes missing so kind of an L BUT THEY DO REUNITE!!!

They get their moments. They also get a really tearful reunion where Chayanne is like dad im so sorry for running off oh my god :( I forgot you for a hundred years you must be so upset with me. And Philza is hugging him like oh my god my kid is ok. Oh my god. YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WHAT THE FUCK. And then just caries him around. And probably has some sort of beef with Missa because that’s Chayanne’s Hyrule-Dad. Meanwhile Pomme stands in the back ready to kill him if he makes one wrong move.

There’s a side story kind of sequel relating to that where Pomme and Chayanne have to grapple with the fact that Chay is also a prince and his dad misses him dearly and wants him to come home but they don’t want to be separated ever for the rest of their lives. Maybe even some parent bonding. Like a little family-person drama to contrast the cursed-destiny-supernatural-calamity drama and probably some Death Family Bonding.

[solrika]

Vent post.

Id put it behind a cut but I’m on mobile :/ also this is very ramble and not at all coherent but oh well.

I always have a bit of an issue with posts like this that are like “your trauma and how you react to it doesn’t make you a bad person” because. Uh. Cycles of abuse are a thing, you can absolutely do bad things out of trauma responses. You can absolutely be a shitty, hurtful person from a place of pain. (Staring at the entire state of Israel and its treatment of Palestine). Especially in the context of that post, which specifically mentions anger issues and addiction.

I’m not replying or reblogging said post because I truly don’t think that’s what op was going for, the greater point was “autism isn’t just sunshine and roses but can create real issues for people,” it’s just… an accidental unfortunate implication. But it’s late and I’m dealing with my own neuroatyoical issues flaring up atm so. Yelling about implications and the need for nuance and space for caretaker burnout on my own blog. Probably dealing with some buried trauma of my own.

(Also the USA healthcare system sucks for people who can’t easily take care of themselves, I dunno what it’s like outside the country but in here you need SO Much Money just to get barely adequate care for TBIs or Alzheimer’s or shit. )

There’s a little byplay in the notes that I think is important—someone says “I don’t have autism but I got secondhand trauma because my sibling does,” someone else responds “fuck you, of course allistic is making it all about them self” and a third person goes “hey it’s very common for the siblings of disabled people to be neglected in favor of the ‘squeaky wheel,’ I know it hurts to hear but disability hurts more than just the disabled person.” That plus some of the notes describing damage that autistic people have done (and largely regretted) to others… Disabled people can cause harm. That’s a thing!!! Being disabled does not make you blameless! Cool motive still murder!

And your disability can absolutely cause secondhand harm even if you don’t mean it to! My little sister no longer feels like the smaller sibling because my parents spend more emotional energy on me—and that’s a mild case, my disability only really began being an issue when we were both in college. It’s nothing compared to her friend, whose adult brother suffered a TBI and can’t live at home because it’s not safe to have a huge man around who can’t regulate his strength when he’s upset. It’s not at all his fault that he’s like this, but it’s a horrible situation and ALL involved should be able to say that it’s horrible.

I have done shitty things because of trauma responses, and I have worked really hard to create strategies to keep those shitty behaviors from happening again. I give myself—and others—a bit of a pass when a situation is truly uncontrollable. Or when someone is actively trying to ignore boundaries I’ve set to protect myself, but… that’s not the same as going “I have anger issues. Huh. Oh well! I will continue having destructive trauma responses and do nothing to mitigate it!”

I dunno. I’m sure some of this strong reaction of mine comes from being lashed out at by people in the midst of their own meltdowns, even though those have been more TBI related than autism related. Still. The meltdown was unavoidable but the ways they acted during were… hm. Not great.

At least stay away from vulnerable entities when you’re like this. My partner removes himself from the dog when he’s having a meltdown because the dog can provoke him into physically lashing out. (The dog has no idea, of course. The dog is very stupid and only barely understands what me crying means. ) He can’t control the meltdown happening but he can step away from things he could hurt. I really wish the people who hurt me had stepped away from the child I was.

I wish I’d gotten an apology, too. Like at least apologize for your shitty behavior, please!

(This whole “writing my own separate post and not tagging op” is one of those “hm. Am having Emotion. How to express it without causing pain to others” things I’ve tried to cultivate.)

If you don’t fucking MANAGE damage to others, others won’t want to be around you. If you hurt someone they are absolutely within their rights to set boundaries to protect themselves.

I dunno. I started at point A and I’m not sure where I went from there. Don’t be a dick I guess.

[semi-mortal-crayons]

Ok, so I finished the Fallout show! For the most part, it’s actually really good. If you ignore some of the timeline inconsistencies, it can be enjoyed in its own right as a piece of media. I really liked the Vault Mystery especially, and I think this is the one time where the justified villain trope wasn’t done in a way that made me super upset! Moldaver works because she hasn’t really done anything all that evil besides killing those vault dwellers in the first episode (which like, if you’ve played the games, you’ve done worse as a player character). The twist recontextualizes the series in a way that makes our main character seem like a bad guy, and Moldaver another protagonist! Also I was pretty worried about the Brotherhood, but nope. They’re pretty firmly evil in this show. I’m praying on their downfall.

Can I say I liked the show though?

I would if the final scene didn’t exist

They did so great but then they had to stumble and fall at the finish line. What do you MEAN they fucking destroyed New Vegas????

It’s like they saw people who liked New Vegas and, not understanding why, decided to add it to the show as a destroyed wreck! Who the fuck wanted to see that!

I don’t think a single person who played New Vegas was like “You know what would make Vegas better? If it fell and went back to dust!” So why in the WORLD was that added to the show??? Did they see the popularity of the Dust mod and think “well that’s what the people want to see!” NO! THAT’S NOT WHY PEOPLE PLAY DUST!

You know what, it’s too late to be coherent about it. Generally I liked the show but like. That final scene is just a slap in the face to everything the west coast games stood for. Maybe I’ll be better about it in the morning?

I don’t want to shit on anyone who liked the show. The show has a lot of good in it, and I would generally consider it to be good! I just have issues with that ending. Hopefully they see the feedback and backpedal, giving us the New Vegas we actually want to see (one that isn’t destroyed and devoid of life). Like shit I’d take the Legion ending over that. At least that has the potential to have an interesting plot

Obviously I still love fallout and by god I am watching season two bc there’s NO WAY THEY ACTUALLY THIS RIGHT?? I am in denial. However this does inspire me to really start up that TTW playthrough I’ve been procrastinating on!

Ok um disclaimer piss on the poor etc none of this is personal and these are my sleep deprived ramblings. It is not about you. Yes you, reading this post. You are valid in liking the show

Alright I’m gonna end this here. Um sorry

[aideneverybody]

Also I’d like to say

He’s trying to keep the one constant of the family together.

I mean. Okay. Logan’s been distancing himself from the Light Sides, from the famILY, and becoming more argumentative overall recently, that’s one down. Virgil isn’t who Patton thought he was (or maybe just wanted him to be-), he doesn’t even like the way Patton treats him sometimes, and he’s not perfect. . That’s two down, at least it must be to him. Janus and Remus are a whole other case, making Thomas question his morals, and therefore, Patton himself. Three and four, maybe five and six if you count Janus and Remus, down.

But then you’ve got Roman, who’s always been firm in what he believes in. “Right and wrong, black and white, good and bad”, to put it simply (I have a quote for this in one of the episodes, pretty sure he’s even addressing Patton, I’m gonna find it at some point). He’s also never really been upset in front of the others on more than a light layer, at least that might be how Patton views it. But now he’s acting “out of line” suddenly, along with the others, who Patton might see as already going astray. He wanted a callback over the friends’ wedding, and if it’s not good, it must be bad! But he also knows how Roman feels about bad. So he might be trying to stop Roman before he gets knocked off the path of good he wants, for lack of a better term for how I think Patton interprets it.

And we already know the heart gets confused when friends/family change, or just changes in general. I mean, there’s a whole dang episode on it (Making Some Changes). So to have the people you rely on (in this case quite literally to function) start acting all funny, if you see a chance to keep some of it right you might go and try to use it. In this case, remind Roman what he’s fighting for.

As per my last post, it’s late. If it’s not coherent, forgive me.

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT MY BOY NEEDS SOME PROPS

I’m about 90% I’m outnumbered oh this but I thought of something. Please remember it’s my personal opinion if you read it!

CW: Patton defense

Patton manipulating Roman, and possibly Virgil, right? Yeah? We loathe, we hate. I’m not saying it’s okay, and he sure as hell needs to get past it and clean up his act. Don’t take this the wrong way.

BUT.

Usually when it comes to his manipulation, it’s him being Roman’s #1 cheerleader, and then not. Just kinda shaming him.

Two things.

One: Janus says in SvS Redux that Patton probably didn’t mislead Thomas on purpose, and that he probably can’t. He doesn’t know how. I’m willing to bet it goes against his own moral code. So I don’t think he’d knowingly do it to one of the Sides (in this case/most frequently, Roman).

Two:

HE’S STILL LEARNING.

When he’s manipulating Roman, it’s usually through the disappointment he has. But he’s still learning how to express that. His arc / one of his arcs was literally about him suppressing his “less than awesome feelings” (Incomplete: The Puzzle Song). He might not get that expressing it in this way, when it really matters to how the others/Roman act, isn’t okay or that it’s manipulation. Yet. He’s just happy when he’s happy and disappointed when he’s disappointed.

He’s shown that he’s working on it though, and I think that might be the most overlooked part of Patton’s manipulation. I’m very sure they’ll make him realize and/or stop in the show. But just like the others have made mistakes, this is gonna be one of his biggest fuck-ups.

And again, the manipulation isn’t okay. It’s not. But I’m just saying, there could be reasons other than “Patton’s just a manipulative bastard” (looking at you, Patton haters/nsrs).

Okay, thank you for reading!

— Aiden

[bluebugsworld]

Do You Read Me?

It was late at night, the windows were open because we’re two broke adults who can’t afford a place with working air conditioning. After a moment of silence, our mouths began moving, speaking about a reality tv show that we’d been binge watching earlier in the day,

“This is not a good season for Nene, she’s been doing the most.”

“Yeah, well you have to remember she’s going through a divorce.” That was my response, with a soft smile on my face, I’m always ready to start an argument over this show. I could hear their eyes roll at my comment and the laughter began to force itself out of my throat.

“There’s no need for the attitude, you know I’m right.” There’s a bright laugh in return, it lights up the darkness of the room. I don’t think they know this but I’ve never been as comfortable as I am now. A space, where there are no expectations, just mundane conversations and heated reality tv debates.

“Ray, you know I love you.” I almost scoffed, of course I know, it’s one of the only things I don’t doubt. The sky is blue, grass is green, and you love me. I don’t respond, I just shuffle closer and rest my head on their chest. I could never understand how people could hate this. Hate a love so powerful that it could shut down the world. I would burn down every city, if they took this away from me. I take a deep breath, my nostrils fill with this brown sugar candle. I have the matching lotion, we’re always connected one way or another.

“I’m gonna miss you when I’m back at school.” My words push through the warm air, barely heard over the ceiling fan.

“I told you not to bring that up!” But I need to. I need to let you know that distance will never stop me from loving you. All my words feel like they are unspoken, they don’t feel coherent enough to open them up to the space. To allow you to know me for who I am, is this terrifying concept that I’m still working through. In the dark, with my head on your chest I have never been happier to experience something so many people want me to hate. To have a fire burned so deep in me that I would speak about it to even the most conservative and vile people on this Earth. Because to indulge in something so profound is exhilarating and for that I cannot thank you enough.

You lean over to click on the lamp, it douses our bodies in a warm orange glow. I can see all your movements clearly, the way your hands twist together, winding and unwinding like branches of a tree. You start to open your mouth and then pause, eyebrows furrowed. It’s clear that my “cat got your tongue” joke would not melt the tension in your body. With my head cocked to the side, I wait for you to say something.

“Are you sure this is something that you want?” Your eyes close, like it’s almost too much for you to hear my response.

“I just don’t want to feel like I’m holding you back or that I’m being too clingy. It’s very hard to read you sometimes.” The glow of the room feels suffocating, it feels like the walls are moving in. My heart wants you to read me, flip through the pages, and be enthralled by how proficient my words are.

“Uh, I’m not really sure what you mean?” In my body, my first response is annoyance. I don’t like to be uncomfortable. You sigh gently, a slow inhale that’s met with a hard exhale.

“It’s hard to be there for you, when you don’t show any emotions or tell me how you feel!” There’s a rush to your words, like you’re trying to stick them in my skin and make them permanent. I pull my head back to stare at you, almost appalled at how this conversation came to be. Maybe, I don’t need what you think I need. Maybe, I am content with how we are now.

“Look, this is something I want and I don’t think you’re being too clingy.” I silently pray to whoever is listening that my frustration isn’t noticeable, I’m not even sure why I’m upset by this. Your lips are formed in a pout, like you have more to say, more words to push over an already narrow cliff. I can see the moment where you decide not to keep the conversation going. With the excuse of tiredness, you lean forward and give me a kiss. A light peck, something neutral. It doesn’t wipe the confusion nor shame from my body. But as you twist to turn the lamp off, engulfing us in the darkness that we are so used to. Maybe I am wrong to find comfort in the night, maybe you need me in the daytime too.

Our alarm clock is the heavy sounds of the trains, shaking the city and forcing us to rise. The sun’s light casts this shine on both our skin, glowing and interconnected. You smile, big and bright, pushing my bonnet out of my eyes. When it is just us and the city awake, I have this urge to spill my most vulnerable thoughts. I whisper prayers for you in the morning, the clouds and the sky drink my words like it is gospel. They too agree, that even though you snore, you are the best part of the sun rising. When you stir and poke one eye open, a smile is the first thing that graces your face. With the sun in my eyes, and a warmth in my heart I am ready to start the day.

————————————————-

there was no happy ending to this story, i don’t think we knew how to read. the summer turned into fall, fall turned into winter and i wasn’t there anymore. there was no more waking up to u every day, a summer love that has been eternalized in my heart.

[ladyelissarose]

‘A Heart With Wings’

Warnings: mentions of angst, slight arguing, Hangman being a mean bully, one s*xist comment, that’s pretty much it.. enjoy !

Chapter 5

 The night of October 5

Roosters POV

 Rooster drove in his Bronco behind Hangman as he followed him to base, he called Maverick telling him simply that things had gone a little sideways but he was going to take care of it, 

  “So Hangman was in a disastrous situation?”

  “Clearly Mav.. he doesn’t look good. And he even involved Oceans, but I told him clearly that she had nothing to do with it.. But I’ll take care of him. Make sure Oceans is ok, I kinda raised my voice at her, which was only because she wanted to help me fix things, but Hangs was too pissed off to listen to her. So please?”

  “Of course Rooster, get back safely, I’ll see you both in the morning for debriefs.”

  “Yes sir, Goodnight Mav.”

  “Goodnight Rooster.”

 Rooster hung up and turned into the road that led them to base, up Agra’s was check point to be led in, but that’s when he got a call from Phoenix,

 ‘Phoenix? What’s up with my girl?’

  “Nix?”

 “Rooster! Listen I’ve been looking for Oceans for a while now and she isn’t here. Mav said you’re out with Hangman?”

  Roosters heart dropped at hearing that Oceans disappeared, but he answered Phoenix coherently either way,

  “Yeah, that’s a story I’ll tell you tomorrow hon, you sure Oceans isn’t there?”

 Phoenix sighed worriedly as she said,

  “I’m sure Roos, I looked everywhere- wait wait, what’d you say Fanboy? Oh!”

 Rooster could hear Phoenix talk with who was Fanboy, sounding like she was getting information from him, she then called out to him,

  “Bradshaw?”

 “I’m still here Phoenix, what’s wrong?”

 “Oceans left a note under her beer, saying she was going to run a errand? At this time-“

  “No she’s not, don’t worry about her, I got it. Head back to base already hon, it’s late, let Bob drive you guys back, he’s the most sober one.”

 Phoenix replied soundly,

  “Alright, please let me know when you guys are there, We’re heading there already.”

  “I just arrived at the check-point.”

 “Perfect, please get Oceans on base.”

  “I will, see you soon Nix.”

  “Likewise Roos.”

 Hanging up with Phoenix, Rooster didn’t wasted time to dial Oceans number,

  ‘Please don’t be with Jeffries, please don’t be with Jeffries... pick up pick up-‘

 Oceans POV

Oceans was close to where she knew Jeffries lived, and was planning to show up and settle things with her and find out what she had done with Hangman, but while she was only 5 minutes away, her phone began to ring and Roosters name flashed on the screen,

  ‘No no no Rooster not now.. ugh.. I can’t lie to him though he’s my best friend.. and he trusts me.. fine. Please don’t be mad.’

  “Bradley?”

 Hearing Oceans voice made Rooster relieved immediately but was still upset that she left,

 “Constantine, where are you?”

 Rooster only called Oceans by her first name when he was upset or serious with her, so Oceans chose to be honest and blunt, instead of covering up her plan,

  “Listen Bradley, I have nothing to do with Jeffries-“

  “Then why are you on your way to her place?”

 Oceans stayed quiet and cursed herself for being so vengeful and stupid, she was also surprised to know that Rooster knew where she was going, but if she wanted justice for her mistreatment she should fight for it the right way, and listening to Rooster was the right choice. Rooster’s voice came through the phone again in a calmer but still stern tone as he said,

  “I just past the check-point on base Oceans.. I want to see you here in 15 minutes, meaning that you turn back around right now and come back, understood?”

 Oceans nodded her head though he couldn’t see her, but she cooperated,

  “Ok, I’m turning around now, I’m sorry Rooster-“

  “There’s no need to be sorry, you haven’t done anything yet.”

  Ocean sighed,

  “Well thank you for not letting me get there.”

She could hear the calm to his voice filled with appreciation as he replied,

  “That’s what I’m here for, we’re all here for you and you know, make things better, I know how you feel, like loss.”

  Oceans throat went dry as she answered,

  “I know I’m sorry for your loss.. Goose was a good man, I mean, look what he brought out of you... including Maverick..”

  Rooster heard her take a pause, but didn’t say anything because he knew she’d add more,

  “my brother.. he was a good person, had the craziest humor.. but the sweetest heart, when my dad died he technically took his place and became the male role model I needed, and well, because of him I made it through college and the Navy.. he fought all my battles and stood by me through everything.. and now, I got to do it myself-“

  “No, Oceans you don’t.. I’m here for you, I’ll never fill that space or place you had for your brother, but I’ll do my best to meet your expectations. Fighting Jeffries over a misunderstanding or rumor she has laid out, is not for you to fight on your own, Maverick and everyone else in our squad has got your back, hence why you were transferred. We’re not going to let anyone unnecessarily hurt you again, we can’t protect you from everything, but we can try, I will try.”

  Oceans was comforted at Roosters words, he was genuinely a great person, and friend. And she only wanted to see the same with Hangman, though now that would take time.

  “Hey Roos.. do you think Hangman is going to be ok?”

  Rooster could feel and hear her concern, so he replied honestly,

  “I sure he will, he’s never one to stay down when knocked down, he actually gets up more stronger mentally and physically.. and as far as things between you and him, you’ll will be ok, you’ll just have to prove that you’re not the person Jeffries says you were. Which I’m sure you will, you’re not a bad kid Oceans.”

  Oceans had reached the check-point on base by the time Rooster said his last word, she wiped her eyes clean from shedding tears at his sincere and honest words, before she presented her card to the security that let her pass after scanning her card. Oceans let in a deep breath of fresh air and let it out slowly,

  “Thank you Rooster.. for everything, I don’t know what I could’ve done without you guys, I’m on base now.”

  “Thank you.. I’ll be in the bunkers with the guys, go deck with the ladies, Phoenix is here, I just saw her arrive.”

  “Ok, goodnight Roos, I’ll see you tomorrow, though I’ll be in a different debriefing room. But in the lobby I’ll see you.”

  “Alright, get some sleep, tomorrow is going to be a safe, fresh start for you.”

  “Indeed it is.. Dueces.”

  “Deuces kiddo.”

 Hangman’s POV

  When Hangman had arrived in his truck on base and got off, Maverick and his team was there to greet him and comfort him. Before Hangman wasn’t one to receive affection or even make an appearance of being weak or hurt, but this time he let his ego and pride down, and returned every good embrace he got from his fellow aviators, they welcomed him back with open arms filled with understanding and compassion. They all knew Hangman and could tell he was wrecked, so they kept it simple and let out a couple of, ‘we got your backs.’ and ‘We missed yous.’ He only let out a small smile to his lips showing he appreciated them, and soon Rooster guided Hangman back to the decks with Bob, Coyote, Payback, and Fanboy. Hangman finally was in his bunk after showering off the day and eating a good peanut butter sandwich that Fanboy and Bob put together for him.  

  Now while laying there on his back he could only remember the smile that was on Oceans face, it was real. He saw how she was friendly with the people around her, and noticed how she even reached out to who she thought was a total stranger until which was Hangman, and still was the same person when she saw his face. Making him think that maybe she wasn’t the bad guy after all, but who was to say, a lot of people had a lot of bad stuff to say about her, but at the end of the day, those people were Jeffries friends.

  ‘I wonder if she’s the total opposite of what was said about her.. I wonder who she really is.. why can’t I stop thinking about Constantine anyways? Was it cause she actually treated me like a normal person? Or just trying to play nice then be an asshole when it was the right time? Ughh.. I wish I knew.. at least I won’t be seeing her any time soon.. she’s shipping off with Jeffries anyways..’

  And those were the last thoughts of the day when Hangman was finally lulled to sleep by Roosters soft snores that weren’t loud and ridiculous like Coyotes. It felt good to be back where he knew he belonged and could be himself freely, it felt like home. But he just only hoped he could move on and forget, but a piece of the chaos that had happened was now on the same base as him, and in 4 months she was going to be on the same ship as him too.

 October 6

 Oceans POV

   Last night Oceans had a peaceful sleep, knowing that no one was going to jump her in her sleep was enough to sleep calmly. Phoenix slept under her on the bunk they shared, and Phoenix made sure Oceans was ok and asleep first before she went to sleep. Both woke up fresh in the morning and got dressed into their required uniform. Phoenix was in her green flight suit, and Oceans got in her uniform which was her Mechanical jumpsuit, which was a Navy Blue. It was 8am when all sailors were called to the cafeteria, upon walking in Oceans could see all the happy sailors that wore their uniforms and badges proudly. The room was filled with chatter and and a few shouts of laughter here and there. It was cool inside the building, as the heat outside was still a little high. Oceans could smell the fresh eggs that were cooked along with the bacon and sausage as she stood in line to grab her tray.

  ‘Damn I forgot how good their food smell and tasted.. oh look! there’s the guys! I should tell Phoenix- whoa girl.. are you eye fucking Rooster?!’

  “Hey Nixy, we should go sit with them.”

 Oceans nudged Phoenix on the ribs playfully as she distracted her from eyeballing Rooster in his flightsuit. Phoenix’s cheeks went to a slight pink as she was caught,

  “Hey you can’t deny he looks hot, it complements his eyes and toned body-“

  “Ok ok, I get it.. don’t need the details.”

 Phoenix snickered and poked Oceans side almost making her tip her tray, which earned Phoenix a playful scowl. But soon their trays were safely placed on the table as they joined Bob and Rooster on the four seated table. But as she sat down Oceans realized she had forgotten to get her utensils, 

  “Hey I’ll be right back, I need my utensils-“

  “Do you think you can get me a spoon for my yogurt, please?”

  Bobs pleading eyes were enough for Oceans to say yes, plus he was always so polite. Oceans got up quickly with a cheerful response,

  “Consider it done, Bob, just a spoon?”

 “Yes!”

 “Great!- Oh my God!”

 When she turned around to leave, Oceans was a little too quick, and with the momentum she had to walk off quickly and with the pace Hangman had when he was going to sit down, they both crashed harshly into each other, sending Hangman’s tray into Oceans chest. 

  Hangman’s POV

  Along with everything he had on his tray, Hangman’s hot coffee spilled onto her which made her jump and gasp at the burn. But Hangman overlooked that as he thought it was careless of her to not watch where she was going. Hangman didn’t know it was Oceans yet, because she was too busy looking down at her uniform, but he did recognize the orange-reddish hair,

  ‘You’ve got to be kidding me? What’s with all the red heads? The all seem to have issues.. You didn’t see this wall of muscle coming towards you? At least it got on your uniform and not mine. If not I��d be more pissed kid.’

  In the midst of it he scolded her,

  “Could you watch where you’re going? You blind or something?”

  Oceans didn’t lift her head as Rooster gave her some napkins to clean her hands off as Phoenix took care of Oceans boots, and Bob handed her his cold yogurt to cool her hands, and Hangman never moved to help her, he wanted an explanation. Oceans finally raised her face to look him in the eye and that’s when Hangman’s jaw dropped, 

  ‘Constantine Oceans! For fuckin Texas’ sake.’

  “Wha- What the.. no way. Why are you here? Thought you were going with Jeffries?”

 Rooster could see Oceans fists clench in growing anger, and also caught Hangman’s green orbs darken quickly, so he replied for Oceans as he said slowly,

  “Maverick transferred her here Hangs.. don’t worry about that, and it wasn’t her fault man she didn’t see you-“

 With a huff of hidden laughter and annoyance Hangman raised his brow at Rooster,

  “Are you defending her carelessness?-“

 Hangman had interrupted Rooster but so did Oceans when she said sternly,

  “Hey! You bumped into me the day we met at the bar, and it was because you weren’t watching when’re you were going. And I didn’t even make such a deal out of it-“

  “Oceans please.”

 Rooster cut Oceans off with a stern plead for her not to exceed the argument, but Hangman scoffed as he tried to look her down, but unfortunately she almost stood to his height, making them come close eye to eye, 

  “That you remember? And what else is there huh, Oceans? What else do you remember or know about me?”

  Hangman up until this point still believed Oceans was one of Jeffries mean buddies, and thought she was going to spew some venom about that night he left Jeffries, but he was shocked when he heard her true thoughts on him, when she replied with sincerity in her voice, and her fists still clenched tightly,

  “Well, I’ve heard you’re a good guy.. have cheesy pickup lines but cool.. why don’t you let me go get you another tray, please.”

  Roosters POV

 ‘Damn Oceans.. thank you for being civil about this.’

  Rooster was grateful Oceans didn’t pursue Hangman’s thrive to argue, and even more happy when, (even though done in a way that was very cocky and arrogant) Hangman responded with a deep sigh leaving his nose,

  “Sure, but listen, I hope you remembered everything I had on my tray, Oceans. If not I’ll send you back until you get it right. Do you understand?”

 Oceans nodded her head,

  “Yes-“

 “Lieutenant.”

 “Yes, Lieutenant.”

 Hangman stepped out of Oceans way as he tilted his chin towards the cafeteria bar,

  “Go.”

 Hangman looked at Oceans leave and scoffed with an annoyed look as he turned to look at his Wingman and sat on Oceans seat next to Phoenix’s. He then questioned,

  “When did she transfer?”

 Bob sat up as he opened his now warm yogurt and replied,

  “Maverick did, yesterday. He got permission from her Admiral and requested to have her here-“

  “Yeah but why?”

 Phoenix scooted closer to Hangman and replied in a tone that was barely audible because she didn’t want anyone to hear her but those at their table,

  “It’s not my place to give details, but do you remember how you saw her at Hard Deck the first time?”

  Hangman looked at his hands pretending to think hard about it, but he responded simply,

  “Yeah, she looked like a beat rag doll.”

 Phoenix turned around to see where Oceans was at, and saw her staring at the fruit bar, then picking out grapes from the fruit salad and putting them into a small bowl. She still had some time to share,

 “Well, that’s what her last team did to her, and worse before.”

  With a deep chuckle of no compassion, Hangman concluded,

  “She maybe deserved it.”

  ‘No she didn’t Hangs... she didn’t...’

 Rooster scowled at his Wingman, but to a certain extent understood Hangman’s thoughts on Oceans, because of Jeffries toxicity, but he just wished it wasn’t like this.

  Oceans POV

Oceans could see them talking in the distance as she tried to get Hangman’s coffee right, 

  ‘I wonder what they’re on about? But damn I’d hate to admit it, but Hangman is pretty.. I like his eyes- Oceans What the fuck?! What is up with me- no, no.. we do not get to complement Hangman. No-‘

  “Officer Oceans, it’s good to have you here with us. Though I see you’ve gotten yourself comfortable with the cafeteria.”

  Being caught off-guard almost made her have another coffee spill, Oceans internally scolded herself for being up in her head and not paying attention to those approaching her, but turning her head to the unfamiliar deep voice, she was met with shiny, dark eyes looking down at her, it was Warlock. She glanced at her stained suit but ignored it as she replied to him,

  “Sir-“

  “Call me Warlock, please. I heard Maverick requested you. You must be good at your job.”

  With a small appreciative smile Oceans nodded, she was glad he decided to ignore her suit too, he must’ve seen how it happened. While helping him serve his coffee and passing it to him, he gave a silent ‘thank you’ as Oceans then added,

  “Yes, Warlock, he did. He figured I’d do better here. I can work on anything you have here. Fix it, and build too.”

  Warlock sent her a nod of impressment,

  “Not bad. I think your last name also fits for the Navy, Oceans.”

  Letting out a small chuckle Oceans agreed,

  “It certainly does, Warlock.. is Warlock your callsign?”

  “Yes ma’am. Later I’ll tell you how I got it, so go finish your breakfast, your debriefing is soon. I’ll be giving that by the way. And please, go change your uniform before you enter, please.”

  “Yes sir, I will.”

 He gave her his hand and they both shook firmly,

 “I’m expecting the best from you Oceans.”

  “And that you’ll get Warlock, pleasure.”

  “Pleasure.”

 He then took his coffee and walked away, Oceans poured the creamer into Hangman’s coffee and walked back to the table thinking.

  ‘Well at least he’s nice.. where’s Maverick by the way? I wonder where he is?’

 Hangman’s POV

  Bob and Phoenix got quiet as Oceans returned to the table and stood next to Hangman, he looked at the tray she held and was surprised to see she had gotten it all right, seeing she only had a few seconds of seeing it before it rammed into her chest. He took it carefully to avoid spilling it, and said simply 

  “Now, there’s a seat over there next to Fanboy, Coyote, and Payback.. here’s your tray, and utensils.”

  Oceans took it with a small frown, she had hoped he’d at least say ‘thank you’, but she walked to the other table without another word, and her smile lifted warmly when the other aviators welcomed her happily, already cracking jokes and teasing her about being the only ‘Cookie’ on board, (they called her cookie because she was freckled.) Hangman looked back at the aviators at his table and saw that they were looking at Oceans, 

  ‘Ugh come on guys she’s not the victim here.. she’s a grown woman.’

  So he then broke the ice,

  “Guys, she’ll be fine... the guys happen to like her company either way.”

  Rooster agreed but none the less said,

  “I know, but you’ll at some point got to accept her-“

  “I don’t Rooster, all that is required of me is to treat her like a co-worker and that’s it. She doesn’t need more or less. Plus, she’s just a mechanic, she’s not even one of us.”

  Phoenix’s eyes went wide at his comment but composed herself quickly when Bob tapped her leg for reassurance that it was ok. Rooster though didn’t let it escape,

  “She is Hangman, she’s Navy just like us, we literally serve in the same branch for the same country. But, I get you.”

  Sending smirk Rooster way Hangman nodded,

  “Of course you do Roos, now lets finish this up, I have a feeling we have a big day ahead of us.”

  Rooster scratched his mustache then hair,

  “Yup, Maverick is not even here, meaning he must have a big assignment he’s been preparing for us.”

 Phoenix finished up her eggs and said after she swallowed,

  “Probably another mission, they’ve been preparing the Abraham Lincoln for us.”

 RIIIING RIIING RIIIING... ‘Attention Sailors, you have 5 minutes to pick up and be in your designated places. Last call.’

  All Sailors began to rise in sync and cleaned up after themselves, Hangman waited for Oceans to pass by him as the door was right where he was, he was intending to poke at her about her flight suit, not ever giving up the habit of being a cocky asshole sometimes, but Oceans beat him to his play when she saluted him respectfully,

  “Safe flights , Lieutenant.”

He stuttered out what ended to be nothing, looking at her hips sway as she walked away confidently to the left side of the building. The sun that beamed through the windows fell on her form making her look like main character, with a stained uniform, but it was like she didn’t care, it seemed like she was more focused to getting her job done more than anything, which irritated Hangman, he wanted to argue with her, but her strong self control never let him go that far with her, and what didn’t help, was that his Wingman helped her control that anger too, it was like Rooster held a certain authority over her, but a respected one. And she knew how far to push until he stopped her, maybe he stopped her because he knew Oceans could go deeper than necessary. 

  Oceans POV

  Later that evening, Oceans got off her shift more tired than ever, for being her first day, she was given a long list of machines and motors to fix. Plus, she carried half the equipment back and forth as she did one then the other, and they were nothing but heavy of course. But, she was more than happy to have gone it all done that day, because she was given orders and the liberty to fly them the next. Some of the sailors had left off base to see their families that happened to be near by, while others went out to Hard Deck or other fast food places. They all had a curfew though, they all had to be back on base by 10:00pm no later.  But Oceans decided to stay on base and go look at the jets she was assigned to fly, so she walked out of the building and felt a rush of refreshment she felt the cool breeze hit against her hot face and cooled the sweat that was covering her hairline. Oceans first checked out the F-18s that weren’t hers, they were for the TopGun crew, they had their names printed neatly and perfectly on the right side of the jet. She stopped in front of Mavericks, admiring how far he had come regardless of the life it led for him, he was more courageous than ever and had a heart for leading, serving, and giving high expectations no matter what others said. 

  ‘He’s definitely a role model... so brave and.. damn I wish I could be like him.. he went back to the skies even after his wingman died. Must’ve been hard, but he persisted.. why was it so easy for him, why can’t I do that..-‘

  “Can you even fly these?”

 Jump scared as always, Oceans swallowed the yelp that tried to escape her mouth, she turned her head and held a hand over her heart symboling that someone had particularly almost scared the life out of her, to only see that it was the one and only Hangman, her somewhat enemy at the moment. He too looked surprised to see that he had called out to the last person he liked, Oceans, his smug smile had even dropped and it became a frown. But Oceans ignored his facial expression that internally hurt her heart, though she covered it with a small smile that was almost not visble as she replied simply and honestly,

  “Yes, I have a license to test the jets I have worked on, or any aircraft that needs test flying.”

  Hangman looked at her with the same face, not impressed at all, and continued to interrogate her with questions,

  “How many Gs have you pulled?”

 Oceans raised a brow of confusion at his question,

 ‘Maybe he wants to know more about me? Ok.. let’s do this.’

  Squaring her shoulders Oceans slightly leaned on jet while holding eye contact, not knowing that that shook Hangman a little, no woman in his life beside his mother could hold long term eye contact with him, they’d blush and look away, but Oceans never did.

  “I’ve pulled up to 10 Gs before.”

 “Why?”

 “My job is to see if the jet is capable of pulling such, I test it to its limits.”

  “How many different aircrafts have you flown?”

  “Up to 11, I want to hit 12 though.”

 “Is it true that Maverick transferred you?”

 “Yes, he put in orders for my transfer.”

  “Why?”

Now that question, Oceans wasn’t ready to answer honestly, first because it was personal and not her favorite topic, so she skipped it,

  “Not going to answer that one yet-“

  Hangman crossed his arms as he bullied without a care,

  “Why not? Bet your got here on your knees than by your feet-“

  Oceans felt a jab to her heart and respected ego, all her life she kept her life clean and her positions well earned, not in the way Hangman thought she did. Which it did hurt her to be considered that way,

  ‘Was that a sexist comment?.. that’s not cool at all you demeaning son of a bitch.’

Hangman’s POV

 Hangman watched how Oceans eyes gave an expression of pure hurt and shame, he basically insulted her, which wasn’t cool at all, but he couldn’t help himself when he was not happy about a particular person and on a roll for pushing peoples buttons, and what confirmed the hurt look on Oceans face, was when he heard her say,

  “That was a low blow Lieutenant.. God knows how many times I had to run on my feet to not be on my knees.”

  Hangman looked down at his feet for a second as he thought,

  ‘Ok that was a low blow on my part, my mom would’ve smacked my head had she heard me... but I don’t need to apologize.. let her take a hit. Like I did.’

  Hangman sent her a shrug as he replied,

  “Fine... change of subject- What’s the highest Mach you’ve reached?”

  He was a little calm when he saw her face lit up slightly, as she now answered with pride in her tone,

  “Up to Mach 9.”

  ‘Mach 9? That’s pretty fast... I’ve only hit 8..-‘

  “What’s your highest Hangman-“

 Oceans calling Hangman his callsign made him suck in a harsh breath of sudden fury, he didn’t think she deserved the liberty to call him by his callsign, people that were his friends and close most trusted acquaintances got to do that, she was no where near that, so he sternly told her what he thought before she could proceed in her question,

  “You don’t get to call me Hangman, it’s Lieutenant Seresin for you. You’re not a Naval Pilot, or in TopGun, or not my wingman. And besides that, you’re not my friend. Remember your place, you’re an Officer and a mechanic, you and I don’t measure out to be the same.”

 Hangman snapping at Oceans without hesitation, made Oceans gulp with guilt and regret for even talking to him in the first place. Oceans apologized formally but somewhat sarcastically,

  “My apologies Lieutenant Seresin, all though no matter our positions, we do serve the same Country in the same branch, so to a certain extent, we do measure equally, just fine.”

  Hangman scoffed,

 ‘Really? Huh.’

 “You think so?”

 “Yes, Lieutenant. I indeed think so, both our jobs require a different kind of sacrifice, but it’s for the same purpose.”

  Hangman’s face went from a stern frown to a slight shocked face as the wrinkles in his forehead softened,

  ‘I mean.. she has a point.. damn you Oceans.’

  Hangman looked at Oceans and couldn’t see any doubt in her speech, she was confident and stood by her word, and it made him uneasy and not happy, usually any other girl or someone in command surrendered to him and agreed. But he could also see that she wanted to say something more, she had a yearning in her hazel eyes, that held a hint of innocence, but before Hangman could try and read more off of her, Oceans bid him goodbye,

  “Have a great night, Lieutenant.”

 Oceans walked passed by him to walk away, and he turned around to watched her go, but he saw how she suddenly stopped when she was at least 10 feet away from him, and she said in a loud tone so he could hear her,

 “And I’m sorry for any misunderstanding we have between one another, but I promise you I have nothing to do with it. None of it. I’d never do that.”

  Hangman’s thoughts raced at her sudden words,

  ‘Where did that come from?’

  “Never do what, Officer?”

 He wanted for her to turn around and answer him, but she began to walk away,

 making him call out to her in a louder tone that she had used at first,

  “Officer Oceans! I asked you a question!”

 Oceans turned around and huffed loudly as she stomped towards him frustratingly, and began to put forth,

  “I would never hurt and humiliate someone I don’t know or just not anyone, I have more dignity and compassion than that. You may not like me because of rumors or lies you heard about me. But just know, that for the rest of my life I’ll prove to you that I’m not who you think I am. I’m not your enemy Lieutenant Seresin.”

  By this point she was now only 2 feet away from him, with hurt painted in her eyes, Hangman could read them and see how honest she was, but he still held a small doubt, because he really didn’t know her, and she was right, she was going to have to prove herself to him, and prove Jeffries lies wrong. Hangman sighed while pinching his nose, he looked back at her and said calmly,

  “I guess you’ll have to... prove yourself to me. But until then, you stay away from me. I’ll see if your worthy of my trust. Understood, Officer Oceans?”

  Oceans nodded with a tight lip,

 “Yes, Lieutenant.”

  Hangman then dismissed her and watched her walk away completely this time, he couldn’t help but stare at her form walk away, she walked like if she was gliding or floating, her perfect movements almost made Hangman want to hate her more, but it was the fact that he couldn’t stand how good she was. 

   ‘What is it about you that I can’t stand Oceans... why can’t I see you like they do?’

Chapter 6

[merakiui]

Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao, and Childe Finding out That You’re Being Abused HCs

cw: mentions/descriptions of (physical and emotional) abuse, injuries, depressive mood/thoughts, implied violence **please proceed with caution and do not read if this is triggering! note - submissions are confusing for me, so I wrote it in this format. I hope that was okay! 

@tuestika said: Hi! Sorry that I send my request through submission, tumblr has sometimes eaten my asks either wholly or have omnomned whole ask xD Usually my requests sent through submissions arrive intact so…. I saw that you had done Scaramouche reacting finding out their s/o is being abused headcanons, may I request headcanons for Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao and Childe finding out their their s/o is being abused? Keep up good job! <3

🔥 Diluc 🔥

Diluc might not be the most vocal person in the world, but he’s definitely observant. He’s gotten rather skilled at picking apart your social cues because he’s spent a lot of time with you. 

So when you barge into his tavern one evening, looking absolutely disheveled and asking for one of the Knights, he’s feeling two emotions: confusion and irritation. 

For one, you shouldn’t even entrust your issue to those inadequate Knights. Nevertheless, you are his friend and he isn’t going to kick you out just because you mentioned them. 

He waves you over to the bar and is thoroughly shocked when you beg him to let you hide behind it. Then he notices your split lip and the fresh injuries on your face and forearms, and he wastes no time in getting to the point.

“Why were you out so late fighting hilichurls? I hope you haven’t led any here. We don’t need that sort of trouble right now.”

“Sorry. No, that’s not it. I just—you’re the only one...” You’re struggling to piece a coherent statement together, too busy looking over your shoulder to keep track of your thoughts. “I didn’t know where I could go. I mean, I thought of you and—“

“Please slow down. Start at the beginning.”

More concerned over your safety than professionalism, Diluc allows you to slip behind the bar counter, where you cower on the ground to avoid being seen. 

You gesture for him to come down to your height and he sighs, silently complying when he finds there aren’t any new customers to serve. Bending down to your level, he holds onto the countertop to keep his balance and then he locks eyes with you. 

“What exactly happened?”

You inhale a shuddering breath, wrapping your sore arms around yourself for comfort. Tears are gathering in your eyes as you recall the event. Your abuser had found you after you’d left to get some fresh air, they’d cornered you in a secluded alley, and—you can’t finish the rest of the story.

Diluc doesn’t expect you to continue. He nods as he lets the information sink in, already harboring a deep resentment for this despicable individual. 

“Wait here. I’ll close the tavern early. In the meantime, we should see to your injuries and then we’ll look for that person.”

“I really think we should tell the Knights...” you mumble, knowing he’ll disapprove. “They’re more suited to these types of cases.”

“The Knights are incompetent. The investigation will take days, if not weeks. What happens if your abuser knows they’ll be coming for them? They’ll try to escape and then there’ll be no telling where they’ve gone.”

“I know, but it wouldn’t hurt to—“

“I’ll take care of it.”

You try to object because it’s dangerous and you don’t want him to get injured on your behalf. But he’s insistent in his decision, claiming that if the Knights can’t help you no one can. And you really wouldn’t feel safe if your abuser was still roaming free, so you have no other choice but to allow him to carry out the investigation himself.

And Diluc can be quite clever at times. It won’t be hard to traverse the interior of Mondstadt at night, where his identity melts away into that of the sneaky Darknight Hero. 

He’s going to protect you no matter what. Your abuser won’t receive an ounce of sympathy from Diluc. All he feels is cold hatred when he catches them. Someone as precious as you does not deserve to be put through such torment, and he’ll see to it that your abuser pays a hefty price to make up for all of the damage they’ve caused.

🧊 Kaeya 🧊

Kaeya can’t understand why you’ve started isolating yourself from everyone. In the past, you were always such great friends with the Knights, always catching up to talk to one of them.

He’d spent a lot of time with you and has since gotten to know you through lighthearted conversations and gossip from the people of Mondstadt. 

For someone so appreciated and well-known, he can’t wrap his head around why you might want to suddenly disappear, hiding yourself away as if you didn’t exist. 

And then he happens to catch you in town one day while you’re out running some errands. It’s so like him to pop in with a few flirty lines, but the words stick in his throat when he notices the bandages stuck to your arms and legs. 

“That can’t be good,” he says as he approaches you, leaning ever so gracefully against a wooden support beam. “Why don’t we find Barbara? I’m sure she’ll have you patched up in no time, my dear friend.”

You don’t think you’re worth it so you shake your head, nervously hoping he’ll take the hint and go away. 

“I hope you’re not accepting those dangerous commissions again,” he adds, half teasing and half serious. You can’t tell whether he’s trying to sound chiding or not. 

“Please just...leave me be. I’m a little busy right now.” You try to leave the stall you’re at, walking stiffly to avoid limping in front of him. “I’m not feeling well, so if you’ll excuse me—“

Kaeya pushes off from the beam, standing in front of you with a posture that appears immovable. “By order of the Calvary Captain,” he’s saying, a playful glint in his eyes, “you aren’t allowed to move from that spot until you tell me what’s bothering you and why you’re covered head to toe in bandages.”

You can easily object to such an order, but you figure it’s better to answer instead of arguing over your physical condition. So you explain a modified version of the story, telling him that you simply got into a disagreement and it ended in bruises on both sides. 

Kaeya hears the tremble in your voice when you say it; you’re lying. His expression softens at once and he steps away, indicating that you’re free to leave. But you don’t; you’re looking at him with such a helpless, pleading look. It breaks his heart.

You break before him, lips quivering as you beg for his help. You’re so scared and alone, and you’re not sure how long you can suffer through this before it seriously hurts you. 

“This is the first time I’ve gotten out in weeks.” So that explains your sudden isolation. “Please... I don’t want to go back home anymore. I’ll do anything. Just don’t let them hurt me again.”

Kaeya’s absolutely stunned to hear the silent revelation in your words. You’re awkwardly reaching to undo one of the bandage wrappings to prove your point, but he stops you short. That’s all the proof he needs.

You’ll be brought back to the Knights of Favonius’ Headquarters to be tended to while he gathers a team to search for your abuser. Since you gave him a solid description, it shouldn’t be too hard to find them. 

And once they’re apprehended, Kaeya will subject them to a grueling interrogation. There will be no gentle punishment; it’s going to be as unforgiving as the abuse you had to suffer through. 

☁️ Xiao ☁️

You’ve never really been keen on physical touch and Xiao understands that completely. He usually avoids any sort of interaction to begin with, unless it’s absolutely necessary, so it’s not a surprise whenever you shy away from large crowds.

He has grown rather fond of you, which has lead to the two of you meeting at Wangshu Inn for some Almond Tofu and relaxed chit-chat.

During one of your many conversations, you bring up a few alarming statements. They’re just personal points you’d like to change, such as your weak fighting spirit or the way your joints brokenly click when you stretch. 

Xiao wonders why you’d want to change yourself. You’re not usually this doubtful of yourself. In the past, you would always play the role of his smiling friend, putting on a positive face even when he was in a disagreeable mood. 

Xiao is examining your movements as you awkwardly explain yourself and when your arms move he catches the sight of a rope burn etched into your wrist. 

“What happened?” He gestures to your sleeve, to which you react in a nervous manner, shyly pulling your sleeve down to hide it. Xiao frowns a bit. “Did you get into an accident?”

“No, of course not! I’m fine. It’s just a result of my clumsiness.”

It really doesn’t look like that to Xiao and when he truly looks at you again he finds that you appear abnormally tired and exhausted. He isn’t going to sugarcoat anything and he could be making a giant assumption, but he still asks.

“Is someone hurting you?”

Your eyes widen for a split second and Xiao catches that movement like a cat drawn to a laser pointer. He won’t force you to explain unless you feel comfortable doing so. The last thing he wants is upsetting you or pressuring you into something you don’t want to talk about.

Eventually, though, the story will come to light and he’ll hear all about the horrors you’ve gone through. That rope burn was just one of many punishments you’ve had to endure, and Xiao’s just about ready to snap. How dare someone lay their filthy hands upon you in such a violent way?

Xiao will calmly tell you to stay at Wangshu Inn or anywhere else in Liyue where you’ll be safe. He’ll watch over you while you take time to recuperate and heal. He’s going to make sure you’ll never have to go through something like that ever again.

Having Xiao by your side makes the healing process all the more comforting.

And when you fall asleep in a soft, warm bed, Xiao slips out into the night to search for your abuser. It won’t be a pretty sight once he gets his hands on the human trash who dared to hurt you.

💧 Childe 💧

He’s very perceptive when it comes to your health and overall well-being. After all, he’s got brothers and sisters to care for; perception is absolutely necessary in order to keep them happy and healthy.

So it doesn’t take long for him to realize your behavior is uncharacteristic. You’re jumpier than usual, always apologizing for the littlest of things, and you’ll look over your shoulder whenever you sense something.

It’s almost as if you expect someone to suddenly come at you, which isn’t all that odd. Childe has been known to keep you on your toes when he’s looking for a fight.

But on one particular day he manages to give you a spook when he comes up beside you, grinning and showing up in your peripheral so suddenly that it nearly gives you a heart attack. 

You’re so frightened as you back away, practically folding in on yourself in an effort to protect yourself from an imaginary blow. Childe pauses, that silly grin fading when he realizes you’re shaking.

“Hey, it wasn’t that scary. Come on, comrade!” He’s approaching you warily, not entirely sure why you’re acting the way you are. He’s always been spontaneous; you should be used to this by now.

But you refuse to let him come any closer, having to distance yourself so that you can ease your racing heart and hyperventilating lungs. Once you’ve calmed down, embarrassment floods through you at the fact that Childe just witnessed all of that. 

Childe will ask if you’re okay with him stepping closer and if you nod he’ll be on you like a hawk, pulling up your sleeves before you can stop him. 

For once, you catch an expression you normally don’t find on Childe: surprise. He’s genuinely shocked at what he sees: dark bruises and shallow lacerations from something sharp. 

Either you got these in your many sparring matches or there’s another factor at play here, and Childe is almost certain it’s the latter.  

His voice is gentle as he asks you to explain what’s going on and once you do he’s already set on finding the one who did this. He seems to forget all about his Fatui work, wanting to capture your abuser and give them a piece of his mind—and subject them to more than a few pieces of his strength, too. 

He’ll have you protected in no time, offering to take you to the best healer. You’ll be treated wonderfully and he’ll even lay off on your sparring matches for a while. 

In the meantime, once he gets his hands on your abuser, everything becomes fair game. After all, someone has to handle the brunt of his anger and pent-up bloodlust from the lack of a fight. And your abuser is the perfect match to pummel into the ground. Childe shows absolutely no mercy for them. 

[hrng-soupp]

Okay… So I’m referencing the nightmare I typed in my notes app at two in the morning, so apologies if this isn’t the most coherent (aka this is NOT proofread). Please keep in mind that my knowledge on how streaming/content creating works is based on the minimal experience I have streaming on twitch, so I will be basing this on that.

Also I figured out how to add the read more thing. (There’s a lot down there lol)

I just wanna start by saying this definitely started before NRC. Like if I were to write out this whole thing from the beginning of Cater’s streamer era to Idikei actually dating, the in-story timeline would definitely be a few years.

So we all know Cater has some issues. He’s so caught up in how everyone perceives him that he ends up masking 24/7. Then one night, while doom scrolling through social media, he discovers vtubers. A way to create content and be remembered without having to mask as much. I personally headcanon that Cater played a lot of video games growing up and had a somewhat negative perception about them. Kinda how Idia views it, like, the whole “normie vs. weirdo nerd” mess. Obviously, Cater didn’t want to be viewed as a weirdo or a loser, so he kinda pushed his interests aside for the sake of more “mainstream” hobbies. Now here he is, in middle school, seeing people get millions of views from playing games, and they didn’t even show their faces. He started watching them obsessively for awhile. His hyperfixation eventually calmed down and he just stuck to a few favorites. For a long time, he definitely considered those streams/videos a guilty pleasure, as he was pretty embarrassed about his interests still.

One day, he decides he wants to try. So he saves up for a barely decent microphone and a simple pngtuber commission with just an open mouth and a closed mouth frame. It was hardly up to the standards of the streamers he usually watched, but it was a start. Cater starts streaming. (Idk what his channel’s name would be, but I feel like it would involve like.. Cay or Kei in some way).

His first ever stream is a short one, only about an hour, as Cater played a simple game he found online. There was a moment where he had two whole viewers, but that quickly went back down to zero. After that one hour he felt pretty dejected. He spent about fifteen minutes pouting afterwards before remembering that even the biggest streamers started small. He kept streaming small games he could fully beat in less than an hour and would stream whenever he could.

Eventually, he decided to play something longer. It was still a relatively short game, but it meant he stayed live a lot longer. This was still early enough in his streaming career that he wasn’t fully sure of what his “character” was supposed to be, but he was getting a lot more confortable talking into the microphone for long periods of time. There was one moment where he realized that this was genuinely something he wanted to do. Another smaller creator raided him and he hit a triple digit view count. He was ecstatic.

I feel like there was a time where his family (probably one of his sisters or something) walked in on him streaming and made fun of him for it and he got pretty discouraged. Like, so discouraged he wanted to stop streaming. However, this was something he genuinely enjoyed and he wasn’t willing to give it up. I think this is when he decided to start streaming late at night. He originally wanted to be that super up-beat energetic type streamer that he tended to see, but the discouragement from his family plus the later hours caused him to lose energy. He lost a few regular viewers because of it, but it led to him creating the character that he wanted to portray. He was kind of upset with himself at first, but he realized that the whole reason he liked the idea to begin with was BECAUSE he could unmask. It took a bit of him convincing himself, but he realized that he preferred the whole grumpy tired vibe he had going on, and he realized that his viewers preferred it, too.

By the time he gets to NRC, he already has a couple hundred thousand subs, similar to his “normie” magicam account that he also maintains. I feel like in his first year, he managed to find a space hidden away in heartslabyul where he could stream in peace (still during the middle of the night ofc, can’t have anyone see how he really is /hj). It was his second year when streaming became like a guerrilla operation. It wasn’t easy to be up in the common space super late at night because of Riddle. He couldn’t stream in his room because he still had a roomate. I’m not 100% sure on what he ended up doing but I have a few ideas:

1. He found some random closet somewhere. (most probable)

2. I think it’d be possible to have a temporary set up in the gardens or something. (very unlikely, but possible depending on how good his laptop battery is)

3. He somehow manages to sneak out of Heartslabyul and into the library or something (also very probable, but there are a lot of factors that would make it harder to do)

4. He just takes a break from streaming (lame)

Unless he does the fourth one (which I doubt with his dedication to his image), he’d still be streaming throughout his second year. I think at this point, he gets enough donations to have invested in a better mic and more detailed pngtuber. I also think this is around the time Idia would have found his channel. At this point Cater is fully unmasked when streaming, so he sounds different enough from his popular persona he puts on that Idia can’t tell that it’s him. As far as Idia is concerned, Cater is just an annoying extrovert that is to be avoided at all costs. Idia is definitely a regular viewer and donates enough that Cater recognizes his username.

I like to think that Cater, while still playing popular and trending games, tends to play stuff that is either horror or stuff he played as a kid. I don’t think he exclusively plays horror games, but it’s a personal headcanon of mine that he’s a big fan of the genre. While the trending stuff tends to do better view wise (as it tends to draw in new viewers) the horror/nostalgia content tends to be better content, in Idia’s opinion. Because even with Cater’s exhaustion and more monotone voice, you can tell he’s happy and enjoying it a lot more than the trendy games.

Eventually, Cater has a stream to celebrate hitting a million subs, and reveals a new dono goal: a brand new model. Not just the little pngs that he started with, a properly rigged model. Cater got a quote from an artist already and seems super excited at the idea. Realistically, Cater knows it’s gonna be awhile until he gets even CLOSE to the goal but he can’t help but gush to his viewers (without giving too much away ofc) about some of the details he had planned for it. While it’s still Cater’s avatar, it’s getting a revamped design too. Idia is watching this all live, of course, and can’t help but get excited. His favorite vtuber is planning on a new model! He’s hyoerfixated to the point where Ortho keeps hearing about it. Jump forward in time a bit, and Cater is getting close to his dono goal. Idia decides to splurge. A small price to pay, in his opinion.

Cater’s shocked to see the donation pop up. Gloomurai, a username he has memorized at this point, who has already contributed quite a bit towards the goal, just made a big donation, enough to meet the goal and then some. Cater is so caught off guard he pauses what he’s doing to read the message.

I would love to write out what I think it would say exactly, but I don’t have much confidence in writing dialog for Idia. TLDR it talks about how Cater is lowkey (highkey) a comfort streamer for him at this point and how much his content means to him. Obviously the message is super heartfelt but I suck at writing so that’s all you get (for now). Cater is super caught off guard and that’s his big moment. Like the moment he realizes he reached a goal he didn’t even know he had: he, in his truest self, is important to someone. The feeling that he got from watching those vtubers all those years ago is now something he is stirring in others. He has to pause his game (or whatever he was streaming) to compose himself. He takes a moment (probably with tears in his eyes) to thank Gloomurai and everyone else who has contributed for how happy he is to be able to make others happy with his content. It’s definitely a heartfelt moment that, while, yeah, there are probably people on the internet mocking him for it (it’s the internet idk what you were expecting), it definitely becomes iconic within his fanbase.

At the start of his third year at NRC, Cater is ecstatic to learn he has a room to himself this year. It’s in his third year that Cater debuts his brand new model, and it’s even better than everyone was expecting, including Cater himself. The extra money Idia contributed allowed him to get a few extra features (like little effects or expressions) that really put it over the top.

In regards to how Cater and Idia start to get close… I think it starts with Ortho, honestly. Say Cater is just hanging out in the cafeteria scrolling through like.. fanart or something and Ortho is just “oh is that [insert Cater’s vtuber name here]? My big brother is a big fan of them!” and Cater just has a moment of uh oh panic like “oh my god does he know?” but manages to stay calm on the outside (somehow). This leads to Ortho bringing it up to Idia. Ortho, of course, views this as an opportunity for his big brother to make a new friend. They are in the same class, after all. It’s a conversation starter, Ortho insists. Idia, on the other hand, thinks it’s a terrible idea as Cater is a classic extrovert and Ortho probably saw wrong because there’s no way a normie like him would watch that. Unfortunately for Idia, he can’t say no to Ortho’s puppy dog eyes (seriously who taught him that?) and agrees to talk to Cater. Cater is incredibly nervous. Idia has never talked to him that much before let alone START the conversation.

I think it would be a bit before Cater slips up. He’s so used to masking that it isn’t that hard to lie about being a vtuber. It isn’t until Idia mentions his username that his mask slips off.

“Wait, YOU’RE Gloomurai?” Cater is so shocked that he completely ignores every part of his brain telling him to retreat. Thankfully Idia misunderstands this as recognizing the massive donations that he’s made over the years and Cater couldn’t be more grateful for Idia’s social ineptitude, because it allows him to put his mask back on.

At this point, I’m not fully sure how Idia would eventually find out, but I don’t think it would be long after that.

Unfortunately, this is all I have thought out at this point but I am obsessed with this idea and actually NEED to design Cater’s vtuber lol.

If you managed to read all this, thanks ^^ and apologies again for my shitty writing lol. I hope y’all enjoyed. :3

i just had the most bangin idea for an idia x cater vtuber au and i WILL be posting more when i can get my thoughts to a point where they make sense (it's 2am)

[blackholelynn]

Bad Luck

Summary: Data has been isolating himself from Geordi, so Geordi goes to see why.

Pairing: Geordi x Data

Warnings: Mentions of loss/death, mentions of insomnia

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Thank you @faerhardyn-the-raging-ethereal for another request!! I loved writing this, as I love the ship between Geordi and Data! Have fun reading :)

~~~

Another long day in Engineering, Geordi thought, dragging himself back to his quarters – the quarters he now shared with Data. The thought of their shared quarters perked him up, breathing more life into his posture. He still hadn’t gotten used to sharing his quarters with Data yet, seeing as they had just made the move a handful of weeks ago. It was the next step of their relationship, and it was something that Geordi had been looking forward to for a while.

When the doors slid open, Spot gracefully leaped from the couch and nuzzled Geordi’s pant leg, and he made sure to lean down to pet her. “Hey, Spot! I’m happy to see you too, but…” He trailed off as he looked around the remainder of their quarters. Data was nowhere in sight. Geordi let out a dejected sigh and continued into their shared space, stepping around Spot. “I guess Data isn’t here. Again.”

Spot cocked her head, meowed once, and then made herself comfortable again on the back of the couch.

As Geordi unpacked his bag, he began to grow worried. It was becoming clear to him that more often than not, he would return from his late Engineering shifts to find their quarters empty. He would wake up to find the bed slept in, but Data would no longer be beside him. They saw less of each other now that they were living together than they did before. He had been chalking it up to work and responsibilities, but he couldn’t help the small doubts that were rattling in the back of his head.

Had they gone too fast? Had Geordi pushed for this too much? Was Data not happy?

That’s when he decided that he’d had enough; he was going to find out for himself. He set out of their quarters on a mission to find Data. The determination on Geordi’s face must have been apparent because his fellow crewmates did not even attempt to stop and speak with him as they usually would, just letting him pass in silence. He checked the holodeck, the bridge, engineering, sickbay, and finally Ten Forward.

That’s where he found Data, contemplating a PADD at the bar, and when Guinan saw Geordi enter, she lightly tapped Data on the arm and motioned towards the doorway. The android had to do a double-take when he saw his boyfriend standing there, unsure of why Geordi had come to find him. After approximately twenty-seven days of Geordi being content to stay in their quarters while he was here, he had not expected this development. His confusion was evident by the tilt of his head.

“Data?” Geordi’s voice was hesitant, and when he approached and sat on the stool beside him, he pointed at the PADD in his hand. “You’re working?”

“Yes,” Data replied simply. When Geordi’s concern didn’t seem to lighten, Data only grew more confused. “You are…upset?”

Geordi’s lips pursed, and he shook his head. “No, I’m not upset.”

“Then are you hurt?” Data abruptly stood from the stool, his unsure expression replaced by worry. His eyes scanned Geordi for any injury, any possible source of discomfort, but he found nothing. Maybe he was sick? “If you are feeling ill, we should take you to sickbay right away.”

“Hold on, hold on!” Geordi insisted when Data began to urge him towards the door. “I’m not sick. You weren’t in our quarters when I got back from my shift, and I was worried.”

Data didn’t understand. He hadn’t been in their quarters in the evenings for a while, and he had not realized that this was a cause for concern, especially since it had become commonplace. His mind raced with possible scenarios to explain why Geordi was suddenly dissatisfied with his absence, but he struggled to form anything coherent. The worry that had begun in the pit of his stomach was not letting go despite Geordi’s reassurance of his wellbeing.

“Data?”

Geordi’s voice prompted him to respond, and he weakly supplied the best one he could. “I was attempting to work.”

“Is that what has been keeping you out so late?” Geordi knew better than anyone how vital their duties on the ship were, but a part of his heart broke that Data was working himself this hard. There was no reason for such long, late nights. “Why haven’t you been working in our quarters?”

“I did not want to worry you. I see now that I may have done so without realizing.”

“Come on,” Geordi said, gently taking the PADD from his hand. “Let’s go back to our quarters and talk there.”

Despite Data’s hesitation, he nodded and followed after Geordi through the hallways of the Enterprise. They usually weren’t ones for PDA when walking through the ship, but once they left Ten Forward, their hands found each other, their fingers intertwining. The young engineer was just so happy to have his boyfriend back at his side once again.

When the door opened, Data’s face lit up when Spot once again left her comfy position on the couch to greet them at their arrival. He gently picked up the small cat, holding her to his chest and allowing her to nuzzle his chin. Her purring sent a pleasant rumbling through his chest, and tension he hadn’t noticed before began to dissipate.

Geordi waited patiently for Data’s time with Spot to be over, not wanting to interrupt the serene moment for him, but as Data set her back down, Geordi asked, “Data, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re working until late at night, leaving early in the morning. Have you been going through your sleep cycle and your dream program at all?”

At the mention of his dream program, Data paced towards the couch in their quarters, then to their bedroom door, and back again. He didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t even want to think about it. It filled him with nervous energy.

Geordi sighed, stopping his pacing at the doorway of their room. “You should rest. You’ve worked enough.”

“Geordi, I can’t,” Data insisted. He had a look in his eyes that Geordi hadn’t seen before, one of desperation and fear. “I would prefer to work.”

“Please,” Geordi pleaded. He sat down on the side of their bed and tugged at his sleeve, frowning when he didn’t sit beside him. “Just talk to me and tell me what’s going on. That’s why I’m here.”

Finally, Data stiffly sat down as well, not able to look him in the eyes. “My dream program has been filled with…unsettling images.”

“Do you think it’s a malfunction?”

“I have run my self-diagnostics, and I have not found anything supporting that hypothesis.” He paused, seemingly not wanting to go on, but when he felt Geordi’s reassuring hand on his back, he couldn’t help but spill everything that had been racing through his mind. “When I lay down to go through my sleep cycle, my dream program has only been showing me images of Lal and Lore and Tasha. I cannot stop thinking about the people that I have lost, and I no longer wish to subject myself to it.”

Geordi continued to rub comforting circles into Data’s back, his brow furrowing in concern. “When did this start?”

“Shortly before we had moved into shared quarters. I did not wish to worry you with it, and I had assumed that with you at my side, they would subside.” Data’s eyes finally met Geordi’s, and he could see the glassy film that covered them. “I was wrong.”

“I would’ve known–” He stopped himself, not wanting to sound like he was chastising Data. That wasn’t what he needed at that moment. Instead, he asked, “Can we lay here for a while? You don’t have to sleep, but I think it might help. I’ve barely been able to see you since we’ve moved in together, let alone touch you.”

Data nodded, and the two of them crawled under the cocoon of their bed’s blanket. Neither took the effort or the time to change out of their uniforms and into their pajamas. Instead, Geordi quickly settled into the bed with Data safely in his arms, and it was everything that he felt that he had been missing since the move.

After a few moments, he felt Data’s shoulders tremble, and when he peered down to look at his face, he was startled to see streams and streams of tears release down his cheeks. “Data, is everything alright?”

“I…I am uncertain,” Data replied, clutching tightly to Geordi’s shirt like it was his only lifeline.

“It’s alright. I’m right here, and I’ll always be here.”

Data’s entire body was shaking despite Geordi’s firm embrace. “I am afraid to lose you. It seems that everyone that becomes too close to me meets an untimely end.”

“Hey, look at me,” Geordi requested, taking Data’s face in his hands. His thumbs gently wiped the tears from his cheeks, and he leaned his forehead against Data’s. “You’re not some kind of bad luck charm, okay? You’re so much more, especially to me. You’re one of a kind, and I couldn’t think of anyone else that I would want to spend my time with.” He gave him a soft peck on the lips to emphasize his point and stared into his eyes. “And I would like to spend time with you. I’ve missed you.”

“I have missed you as well.” And although the remnants of tear trails remained on his cheeks, a soft smile made his eyes crinkle. The dark pit that had formed inside of him seemed to be filled the longer he stayed in Geordi’s embrace, and he realized just how much he’d missed this. “I think that my work can wait until tomorrow.”

Geordi’s face broke into a grin, one that made Data’s heart soar, and the engineer couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled up. “Good. Then get some sleep, and I promise to be here in the morning when you wake up.”

Slowly, Data’s eyes closed, and finally, he went through his sleep cycle entirely for the first time in a long time. His dreams were no longer plagued by the faces of people he’s lost, and instead, they were filled with the face of the one person he cared for most – Geordi. When he awoke, he was infinitely more relieved to find Geordi fast asleep beside him, their limbs entangled in the sheets.

[nctsjiho]

Your Fault

warnings: strong language, consumption of alchol, mention of death without actual death, very much angst

era: July 7th 2021

❀ NCT 127's 5th anniversary isn't a day to celebrate and be happy for everyone

To Doyoung:

“Happy 5th anniversary oppa!”

“I hope you and the boys are having a great time <3”

JiHo stared at her phone intently waiting for the “sent” at the bottom of her screen to turn into “read”. She had been staring at her phone like that for nearly an hour, yet nothing changed. The girl knew that the boys were busy, but somewhere she hoped that she’d hear from them. Besides the short “wished you could be with us” message she had received the evening before from Taeyong she hadn’t heard from anyone else. Of course JiHo was aware that the boys were busy, but was it a crime to feel left out and maybe want a phone call or something more than a “wished you could be with us” from anyone?

And so JiHo continued to stare at her phone, everything on the small screen getting progressively more blurry as time went on. Her eyes were straining, one almost pressed shut, the other slowly going cross-side. Her right hand, which wasn’t holding the phone, reached out to the glass bottle on her desk. A quick shake letting her know it was empty. So she reached for the other one, opening it skilfully with one hand – like she did with the other two bottles now empty on her desk – and bringing it up to her lips. “Must be nice hm~ Being an idol or whatever…”

“I’m glad you came over.” Sihyun, JiHo’s Esteem manager that lives with her, said as she grabbed the boy’s coat off his shoulders. The piece of clothing, along with his hair, slightly damp caused by the light drizzle outside. “JiHo’s been a bit sensitive and doesn’t let me in her room. She doesn’t want to talk to me at all.” Jaemin watched the woman’s face full of worry. He gave her a small reassuring smile and then glanced at the door leading to JiHo’s room. “I’ll try to talk to her.” Thanking Jaemin, Sihyun then excused herself, telling him she had to run some late night errands.

Not knowing what was happening behind the closed door of the bedroom, Jaemin knocked a few times. “Unnie~ Just leave me- leave me alone.” JiHo hiccupped between her words, her speech sounding a bit slurred. She had been drinking? JiHo?

Without a second thought Jaemin pushed the door open. A jumbled mess of protests escaped JiHo’s lips, but she froze in her chair as soon as her eyes locked with Jaemin. “What… are you doing here?” She muttered to the best of her abilities. “Coming to check up on you.” He neared the girl and poked at the bottles and the mess on her desk. “Clearly you need it.” His tone sounded very much disappointed and for a split second JiHo felt her heart ache, but she quickly turned defensive. “I do not!”

A sigh escaped deep from Jaemin’s chest and he pulled JiHo to sit on the edge of her bed next to him. “Since when do you drink?” It was quiet for a bit. JiHo looked at the bottle of the alcoholic beverage in her hand, swirling it around by circling her wrist and then started to giggle to herself. “A new hobby?” She turned to Jaemin, a big smile on her lips – however Jaemin could see the sadness behind it easily. “It’s fun. Feeling… Nothing! I can barely feel my… my lips.” Her body swayed from side to side prompting Jaemin to grab her by her shoulders and hold her in place. “It’s fun until you wake up with a hangover tomorrow.” He scoffed. “Can’t get a hangover if I don’t sleep.” She said, before turning to her desk. She then pointed at the box of another 9 bottles of alcohol next to it on the floor. “Or if I don’t stop drinking.” She grinned.

“Yah! What’s wrong with you?” Jaemin’s patience ran dry quickly. He just felt so furious seeing how badly JiHo was treating her own body. She never drank and now she was planning to drink 12 bottles of alcohol? Drinking herself straight into the hospital, and if it weren’t for Jaemin being here, maybe straight into her own grave. “This is strong alcohol! For all I know you can’t even handle it, so what made you decide to drink now huh?” He yelled, anger only rising watching the girl just stare at him with wide, innocent eyes.

Those same eyes turned to look at her laptop, located on the desk she sat at earlier. The NCT 127 online fanmeeting being streamed, muted.

Of course Jaemin knew it was NCT 127’s 5th anniversary, he knew it must’ve affected JiHo in some way, even if she kept insisting she was going to be fine and was happy for the boys. She even said that she wasn’t “part of the group since debut, so it wouldn’t even be my 5th anniversary” and everyone just had to nod and smile.

“Is that a reason to potentially drink yourself to death?” Jaemin poked her side – maybe a bit too harsh – to gain her attention again; she seemed to be zoning out every few seconds. “What else was I supposed to do? I’m tired of keeping things in.” She sneered at him and it was almost as if she didn’t drink anything. She sounded much more coherent than just a minute earlier. “Aren’t you doing just that though? Drinking on your own. Not letting Sihyun noona in? We keep telling you to talk to us, yet all you do is keep things in. The hyungs even took you out to do stuff and get your mind off things yet you get home and do the thing you always do.”

JiHo felt every drop of alcohol leave her system as she heard the somewhat condescending tone in her friend’s voice. “What the fuck? So this is my fault-“ “Kinda, yes! You just sit here feeling sorry for yourself while everyone is worried over you! We’re your friends for a reason JiHo. There are so many people who care for you, just start fucking talking when you feel down like this.”

The blood inside of JiHo’s veins started to boil and at the same time she felt tears pricking behind her eyes. “You think it’s that easy? What am I supposed to say? That I feel upset that I can’t be with 127 now? Okay. Then what about it? Me telling you this won’t change shit!” “At least you should stop lying and stop telling everyone you’re fine when you’re not! Why do you continue keeping things a secret from everyone?” Both JiHo and Jaemin’s chest rose and fell at a rapid pace. “But I guess you’re good at that anyway.” He added in a mumble.

Once the words registered in JiHo’s mind, the bottle that started to hover towards her lips was quickly forgotten. “What do you mean by that?” Jaemin just shrugged his shoulders and turned his gaze away from JiHo. “Jaemin? What do-“ “You were supposed to debut in 2016 with NCT U?” JiHo’s eyes widened and she pushed herself to stand up. “How’d you know-“ “Then they asked you to debut in 127? Also with us… In Dream?” “How do you know?” Was the only thing JiHo could say.

“Does it matter?” Jaemin yelled, standing up as well. “Why do you continue to keep secrets from us? Do you not trust us? Is that why you sit here alone? Drinking and crying alone.” The boy watched as JiHo stood in front of him wordlessly. He could see how his words were affecting her, but he wanted to be selfish for once. He wanted to let JiHo know how frustrating things were for him and his friends. He was well aware of how JiHo had her own worries and hardships, but if she never wanted to confide in anyone, then he was allowed to be mad right?

The only sound filling the room was both of their ragged breathing and the occasional shift from one foot to the other. The silence was almost deafening, a ringing shooting up JiHo’s clouded mind making her feel like she was going to lose it any second now. Her friend sending hurtful glares her way didn’t help ease the growing pain either.

“You’re right. I could’ve debuted in 2016, what about it?” JiHo whispered, afraid that her talking too loud would send surges of pain into her brain. “Why did you hide it from us? Why didn’t you say yes back then?” Jaemin interrogated her. “There was no reason to tell you if it didn’t happen. I didn’t debut so telling you I could’ve wouldn’t change a thing. I’m not in Dream, I didn’t debut in U and clearly now, I’m not in 127 either. Jaemin… It doesn’t matter anymore…” JiHo’s voice stayed as calm as possible.

“How long have you known Jaemin?” JiHo spoke up again as Jaemin didn’t say anything. She felt the tension grow exponentially, the pressure on her body and more noticeably her head increasing and bothering her more as well. “I heard it during that last meeting you had with Yebin noona and Mister Lee Soo Man…” JiHo let out a small chuckle, shaking her head in disbelief. “I guess we’re eavesdropping and keeping secrets from me as well.”

She brought the glass bottle still in her hands to her lips, throwing her head back, to down as much of the liquid as possible. Before she could finish it all in one go, Jaemin gripped the bottle and pulled it away from her. “It’s not the same, JiHo!”

The liquid rushed from between JiHo’s lips, making a wet patch on her grey sweatpants. She could feel her throat and lungs burning as she coughed, caused by the alcohol going down her windpipe instead.

Jaemin watched her with concern painting his features, his hand slowly caressing her back hoping it would ease her violent coughs. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He whispered and JiHo gave him a small nod as her body calmed down.

The two 00 liners stayed like that for a while, with Jaemin’s eyes burning at the back of JiHo’s downturned head. Even after JiHo’s body stopped shaking violently, Jaemin’s concern continued to grow. It was only when he noticed the drops, which only could be tears, fall onto her sweatpants and create even more wet spots, that he decided to step in.

Jaemin’s hand securely gripped JiHo’s shoulder and he pulled her up to face him. A gasp left the boy’s mouth as he watched large tears spill from his friend’s eyes. “Ji…” It proved incredibly difficult to speak when he was faced with a situation he wasn’t ready to deal with. Maybe Jaemin shouldn’t have confronted her the way he did. Maybe acting like everything was fine wouldn’t have caused him to witness JiHo at possibly the worst she has felt.

It became a full minute of Jaemin staring into JiHo’s pain- and tear-filled eyes, feeling like he could drown in them himself, before a loud pained sob brought him to reality. The sudden jolt of JiHo’s body forward made Jaemin act quickly and pulled the girl into his chest. His hand, just as quickly, found its way into JiHo’s slightly tangled hair.

“I’m… sor- so sorry.” JiHo sobbed into his chest, tears soaking through even the thicker material of the boy’s jumper. Jaemin could feel his sweater start to stick against his chest, yet what felt more uncomfortable than the damp piece of clothing was the feeling of JiHo’s body shaking in his hold.

As best as he could, Jaemin tried to soothe JiHo. Almost like taking care of a crying toddler, he swayed the girl from side to side. His lips were pressed against the shell of JiHo’s ear as Jaemin whispered affirmations into her skin. “Don’t apologise... Stop apologising.”

“I’m only bringing the team down-” “Shh JiHo. Stop that.” He told her, as his fingers continued to comb through her hair, slowly and carefully detangling it along the way. JiHo pressed her eyes tighter as even more tears spilled from her cheeks and pushed herself closer into Jaemin’s grasp.

Mouth agape, a sob that was building up in his own chest was threatening to fall from Jaemin’s own lips. “You don’t deserve any of this JiHo, you only deserve the best.” JiHo only shook her head, but didn’t dare to speak again. “You do... You really do.”

The night in the capital of South-Korea was never really that dark. Lights always seemed to find their way past the pulled back blinds of any building that wasn’t directly blocked by another one due to bad city planning. So even during the darkest time of day, even when all the lights inside have been dimmed, somehow, it was still light enough to see inside.

So when Jaemin pulled back to look at JiHo’s face, her eyes still tightly pressed shut - which pained him immensely - Jaemin could see the light reflecting off of her wet cheeks.

Feeling two hands being placed on her burning cheeks, JiHo finally decided to open her eyes again. A few more tears rolled over her cheeks onto Jaemin’s thumbs, but luckily no new ones seemed to form. “I’m sorry for everything, all this drama. It’s my fault.” Jaemin shook his head and pulled the girl back, this time to hide his own tears that were starting to form. “Please stop apologising, it’s not your fault.”

“But-” JiHo sighed, her arms found their way around Jaemin’s small waist. “I hate that it’s always about me. I don’t want to be this cliche ‘emotional girl with so many problems and everyone has to pay attention to her problems’. I don’t want that. I don’t want to burden you guys with that, but I also don’t want that kind of attention. I know people already hate me for being in a boy’s group. I don’t want my stupid problems to be the only thing that people assiociate me with NCT.”

“Your problems are not stupid JiHo. And though I understand what you’re saying, I think it’s worse to keep it in. If anything, keeping it in just makes us worry about you more and may get you more attention. JiHo I know things suck right now, and I can’t imagine how you’re feeling with everything going on right now, but… Please just talk to us when things are bothering you. We all love you.”

At those last words JiHo loudly sniffled back some stray tears. She pressed herself into Jaemin’s warm embrace and softly nodded her head. “From now on I will. I promise. And…” JiHo looked up at Jaemin, sending him a small smile that he gratefully reciprocated. “I love you guys too. You’re all I have here and that’s enough to make me stay.”

Jaemin’s hand resumed with his previous ministrations. A deep sigh left his lips as he rested his head atop of JiHo’s. “Everything will be just fine.” Jaemin pressed a kiss against JiHo’s hair. “As long as we stay together everything will be just fine.”

[bloody-bee-tea]

Lashing out

What better way to celebrate my 50th Mingcheng fic than with ace!JC and some misunderstandings regarding what non-sexual touches are okay in a relationship. Because JC's and NMJ's opinion on that couldn't be more different.

Jiang Cheng thought that telling Nie Mingjue that he is asexual and will never sleep with him would be the hard part and he wasn’t completely wrong about that.

It was hard, and he hated doing it, because the fear that Nie Mingjue would walk away from him, would call an end to this, was very real and something Jiang Cheng almost dreaded more than having to sleep with Nie Mingjue.

But Jiang Cheng did it, he told Nie Mingjue about it, and Nie Mingjue took it better than Jiang Cheng could have ever imagined. Nie Mingjue promised him that it wouldn’t be a problem, that this wasn’t the only reason he was with Jiang Cheng after all, and that they would make it work.

And Jiang Cheng believes him.

But what Jiang Cheng forgot about is that now he has to be careful. Careful about what he says, what he does, how he touches Nie Mingjue because otherwise Nie Mingjue will get a wrong impression and think that Jiang Cheng does actually want more.

Which he doesn’t. It’s just—it would be nice to cuddle up to Nie Mingjue, is all.

Jiang Cheng has never thought of himself as touch-starved; at least not until Nie Huaisang has mentioned it and then suddenly Jiang Cheng could think of nothing else.

And it is fine with his friends; there are no expectations there so he can cuddle up to his siblings or Nie Huaisang as much as he wants to but with his partners, it’s different.

Jiang Cheng already made that mistake once and he’s not about to make it again.

So he keeps to himself; he makes sure to never touch Nie Mingjue more than is necessary, and he tries to pretend that it doesn’t matter to him.

It even almost works.

~*~*~

When Jiang Cheng lets himself into Nie Mingjue’s apartment, he finds him sprawled out on the couch, hand dangling off the side and clearly fast asleep.

Jiang Cheng can’t help the fond smile that steals over his face at seeing Nie Mingjue this relaxed and adorable and he quickly whips out his phone to take at least one photo. He’s due for a new background pic anyway.

Once that is done, Jiang Cheng quietly steps closer and crouches down next to the couch. It’s not quite what he wants to do; his first instinct was to simply climb on top of Nie Mingjue and sprawl out on top of him, but Jiang Cheng is very aware that he shouldn’t do that.

It could make Nie Mingjue expect certain things when he wakes up to Jiang Cheng laid out on top of him and Jiang Cheng is not about to do that to either of them. So crouching down is the next best thing and Jiang Cheng takes his time to watch a peacefully sleeping Nie Mingjue for long moments.

It takes him almost ten minutes to remember that Nie Mingjue will be grumpy as hell when he can’t sleep that evening and since Jiang Cheng doesn’t know just how long Nie Mingjue has already been asleep for, he decides to wake him up.

Jiang Cheng ghosts a finger over the side of Nie Mingjue’s face and he chuckles when Nie Mingjue frowns slightly in his sleep.

“My soul,” Jiang Cheng whispers and tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear. “You have to wake up.”

Nie Mingjue makes an unintelligent noise and tries to move out of Jiang Cheng’s reach, which of course doesn’t work. Instead Jiang Cheng moves his finger over Nie Mingjue’s nose, clearly tickling him into a more coherent state.

“What?” Nie Mingjue grumbles and blinks sluggishly up at Jiang Cheng.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Jiang Cheng teasingly says and he realizes the dangerous twinkling in Nie Mingjue’s eyes too late.

Jiang Cheng isn’t entirely sure just how Nie Mingjue does it, but one moment he’s still sleepily blinking and the next he has turned around on the couch and pulled Jiang Cheng on top of him.

“Uff,” Jiang Cheng says when he comes to rest on Nie Mingjue’s chest and he tenses when Nie Mingjue’s arms come up around him, pressing him closer to his body.

“Good morning,” Nie Mingjue mutters, laughter still in his voice and Jiang Cheng makes a conscious effort to relax himself. “Why did you wake me, I was having a nice dream.”

“Nicer than this?” Jiang Cheng gives back and then mentally chides himself because their situation could be suggestive and he doesn’t want to raise any expectations.

“Mh, no,” Nie Mingjue hums. “Good point, my heart,” Nie Mingjue gives back and then seems content to simply drift off again.

“You shouldn’t sleep in the middle of the day,” Jiang Cheng lowly says when Nie Mingjue’s breathing gets deeper by the second and Nie Mingjue startles.

“But it’s such a good time to sleep,” he grumbles and Jiang Cheng huffs.

“I’ll remind you of that in the evening then, when you’re bitching at me that you can’t sleep,” he tells him and Nie Mingjue heaves out a sigh.

“Ugh, why do you always have to be right?” he wants to know but he turns them around again, so they are laying on their sides.

Jiang Cheng is sure he would slide right off the couch, if Nie Mingjue wouldn’t keep such a tight grip on him.

“You love me for it, don’t even pretend,” Jiang Cheng gives back, and even though he knows Nie Mingjue does, even though Nie Mingjue tells him regularly, there’s still that split second of fear where he thinks this will be the time that Nie Mingjue doesn’t say it back.

“You’re right with that as well,” Nie Mingjue gives back immediately, peppering Jiang Cheng’s face with kisses. “But this is comfortable. We can stay like this for a while, right?” he then tries, his voice hopeful, but Jiang Cheng shakes his head as best as he can in this position.

He’s still pressed up to Nie Mingjue’s front, Nie Mingjue’s hand low on his back and Jiang Cheng fears where this will go if he lets this go on. And besides. Nie Mingjue is liable to drift off again the moment they stop talking.

“No,” Jiang Cheng decisively says and pushes away from Nie Mingjue, who fights him on this a moment longer, but in the end he lets go.

“Rude,” Nie Mingjue grumbles as he sits up on the couch and stares up at Jiang Cheng, his displeasure clear on his face. “Why do you have to be so rude. I was comfortable.”

“Yeah, well, I’m hungry,” Jiang Cheng gives back and averts his eyes.

Nie Mingjue might have been comfortable in that moment, but if Jiang Cheng indulges him with that too long, he’ll think Jiang Cheng is open for more, which he very much is not, and Jiang Cheng is not ready for a fight with Nie Mingjue.

All he ever did with his last partner was fight over things like that, always lashing out at the other, and he doesn’t want to do the same with Nie Mingjue.

“Alright, alright,” Nie Mingjue mutters and gets up from the couch, though he does take a moment to step close and steal a kiss from Jiang Cheng.

“Hi, my heart,” Nie Mingjue breathes out and Jiang Cheng can’t help the sappy smile on his face.

“Hi,” he gives back just as lowly and he thinks that this might be okay.

They can do this.

~*~*~

Nie Mingjue announces his arrival with a booming “I’m home!” before he comes into the living-room.

Jiang Cheng looks up from the couch, pausing the movie he was watching and he startles badly when Nie Mingjue simply flops himself down on the couch, resting his head in Jiang Cheng’s lap.

Jiang Cheng awkwardly hovers his hands over Nie Mingjue’s head for a few moments, before he rests one on the top of it and one on his shoulder and his heart beats just a little bit faster when Nie Mingjue slightly turns to smile up at him.

“Hey there,” he says and Jiang Cheng returns the smile.

“Comfortable, are you?” he wants to know and goes warm all over when Nie Mingjue laughs happily.

“So very much,” he replies and then turns around completely so he can hide his face in Jiang Cheng’s stomach.

It’s innocent enough, for now, but Jiang Cheng fears where this might lead, so he pushes Nie Mingjue away, even though he does want nothing more than to hug him tight to himself and never let him go again.

“Quit this,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and catches the slight frown on Nie Mingjue’s face before he makes an effort to smooth it back out.

“Are you okay?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng awkwardly shrugs.

“Sure. How was your day?” he tries to distract Nie Mingjue, who clearly seems to know what he’s up to, but who indulges him anyway.

“Stupid. What are we watching?” Nie Mingjue asks, sounding a little bit upset but he sits down next to Jiang Cheng, keeping a little bit of distance between them.

It does something to Jiang Cheng’s heart that hurts, but he reminds himself that he was the one to push Nie Mingjue away just now, so he should be grateful that he accepts his boundaries. Still, Jiang Cheng can’t help but to scoot a little bit closer, just enough to brush their shoulders together.

Nie Mingjue tenses briefly but then he leans more heavily against Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng nods to himself.

This is fine and all he really needs.

No matter that he wants to climb into Nie Mingjue’s lap, or wants to pull him back into his, wants to cuddle throughout the whole movie.

This will have to do. He can’t ask for more, especially not when he can’t even give Nie Mingjue more than this.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng is in the kitchen, making dinner for them, when Nie Mingjue comes up behind him. He slings his arms around Jiang Cheng’s middle and presses a kiss to his temple before he rests his chin on his shoulder.

It’s nice, it’s comfortable and Jiang Cheng feels like his heart is going to flow over with love, but then Nie Mingjue moves slightly, which presses him much more firmly against Jiang Cheng’s back and Jiang Cheng tenses.

And Nie Mingjue steps away.

“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng starts, unsure what just happened, but then Nie Mingjue is reaching past him, turning off the stove and moving pots away and Jiang Cheng’s heart sinks.

“I think we have to talk, Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue says and just like that Jiang Cheng sees it all shattered around him.

He thought they were good; he thought he managed to not make Nie Mingjue expect anything, not with his touches or otherwise, but of course he had fucked up somewhere.

Jiang Cheng reminds himself that they agreed upon this when he told Nie Mingjue that he’s asexual, that Nie Mingjue could always tell him when not having sex with Jiang Cheng would be too much, but he didn’t expect it to happen so late after their talk.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng gives back, hating himself for how his voice shakes, but he follows Nie Mingjue when he walks into the living-room.

Maybe he did raise some expectations, Jiang Cheng thinks, remembering all the touches he allowed between them. Maybe he needs to be more careful in the future.

“What do you want to talk about?” Jiang Cheng asks unsurely, watching how Nie Mingjue paces in the living-room, and he just wants to get this over with.

“I’m a tactile person,” Nie Mingjue finally says when he comes to a stop. “You know that.”

“I do,” Jiang Cheng gives back, because it’s hard to miss how often Nie Mingjue reaches out for him, or how he behaves with Nie Huaisang.

“Okay,” Nie Mingjue says and nods to himself before he straightens up and looks Jiang Cheng in the eye. “If you can’t allow a simple touch, I can’t do this anymore,” he then says and Jiang Cheng’s heart stops in his chest.

“You said you are okay with it,” he breathes out, even though he knows it’s unfair, even though they agreed on something different, but he can’t help himself.

Nie Mingjue said he’s okay with the fact that Jiang Cheng is ace.

“I am fine with not having sex with you,” Nie Mingjue says. “That’s not a problem. But the fact that I can’t even touch you, can’t hug you close or cuddle you? That’s a problem. And if that is part of you being ace, then I’m sorry that it’s a problem to me, but I can’t be in a relationship where I have to think twice about reaching out for my partner.”

“What?” Jiang Cheng asks because it doesn’t make sense what Nie Mingjue just said. “It has nothing to do with me being ace.”

“Then what?” Nie Mingjue wants to know and Jiang Cheng is surprised to see how desperate he is. “Then why can’t you allow me to touch you? Why am I not allowed to cuddle you, or hug you, or fall asleep with you in my arms?”

Jiang Cheng has to blink back some tears, because he wants those same things, but he can’t allow this; he can’t raise expectations he can’t meet and he doesn’t understand sexual attraction enough to know when he crosses a line.

“I don’t want to get your hopes up,” is what he finally gets out, crossing his arms in front of his chest to hide how much his hands shake.

He yearns for Nie Mingjue’s arms, would do almost anything to have him hug Jiang Cheng as close as he just did in the kitchen, but he dreads what comes after.

“What hopes?” Nie Mingjue asks him and he seems honestly confused.

“I’m not going to sleep with you,” Jiang Cheng says, again, but it does nothing to clear the confusion from Nie Mingjue’s face.

“Yes, I know, we’ve been over that.”

“No, you don’t—listen, I—I don’t know when I cross a line, okay?” Jiang Cheng gets out, much louder than he wanted to, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t seem to understand and he’s going to walk away from Jiang Cheng, he just knows it and his heart is already cracking in his chest. “I don’t know, and I don’t want there to be misunderstandings or to give you false hope or anything like that. I learned my lesson,” Jiang Cheng bitterly finishes and sees how Nie Mingjue goes still.

“You learned your lesson,” he repeats and Jiang Cheng nods. “Did your—previous partner do something?”

“He didn’t—I just—we were cuddling and he clearly thought it would lead to more. I try not to do that anymore,” Jiang Cheng explains, not quite able to meet Nie Mingjue’s eyes. “I don’t want to disappoint you or have a fight about this.”

The irony of his words is not lost on Jiang Cheng, because they are having a fight about this anyway, but what he wasn’t prepared for is for Nie Mingjue to walk up to him and pull him into his arms.

Jiang Cheng wasn’t quick enough to untangle his arms, so now they are trapped between them, and his face is uncomfortable smashed into Nie Mingjue’s shoulder, but it’s still the best place to be in.

“You said no sex, ever,” Nie Mingjue whispers into his hair. “So until you tell me that you changed your mind or that you want to try something, it’s a no. No matter what you do. It will always be a no, and I know that. I respect that. Us cuddling or you sleeping on me, or my head in your lap is not going to change that. It will always be a no until you explicitly tell me otherwise.”

Jiang Cheng has to blink fast to keep the sudden tears at bay, but he can’t quite hide the fact that he’s shaking all over.

“It’s just—my heart, I’m tactile, and that is something I can’t do without. If you’re touch-averse then—” Nie Mingjue trails off but Jiang Cheng can tell what he wants to say anyway, and it’s enough to make him untangle his arms enough to sling them around Nie Mingjue’s middle.

“I’m not, I’m not,” he rushes to reassure Nie Mingjue. “Huaisang would say I’m quite the opposite, really,” he says with a weak laugh. “I want you to hug me and cuddle me and sleep with your head in my lap, I do,” he promises. “I just always thought I had to make sure that I don’t lead you on by allowing that.”

“You’re not leading me on,” Nie Mingjue says and pushes Jiang Cheng away from him. “You said no, it doesn’t get much clearer than that. And I would never assume anything until you verbally tell me, okay? So you can’t lead me on, because the only thing I’m really expecting when I cuddle you is that I get to cuddle you, if that makes sense,” Nie Mingjue awkwardly says and Jiang Cheng immediately nods.

“It does, it does make sense,” he says, his voice trembling with his tears and he hides back in Nie Mingjue’s arms. “And I want that, too.”

“Thank the gods,” Nie Mingjue breathes out and Jiang Cheng realizes with a start, that Nie Mingjue doesn’t want to walk away from this any more than Jiang Cheng wants that.

“I love you. And I want to be tactile with you, too, without having to second guess everything,” Jiang Cheng admits and Nie Mingjue almost crushes him, he’s hugging him so hard.

“You can, my heart, you can. I love you,” Nie Mingjue gives back and Jiang Cheng dares to believe him.

It’s hard to do anything else with how relieved and sincere Nie Mingjue sounds.

~*~*~

When Jiang Cheng comes across a sleeping Nie Mingjue on the couch again, he doesn’t hesitate. He simply climbs on the couch as well and lays down all over Nie Mingjue’s back, just like he wanted to do that very first time.

“You’re heavy,” Nie Mingjue grumbles into the couch, clearly unpleasantly woken up, but Jiang Cheng can’t find it in himself to care about that.

He gets to lay on Nie Mingjue without having to worry about a single thing, so Nie Mingjue can be grumpy all the wants.

“And you’re rude,” Jiang Cheng gives back, just a moment before Nie Mingjue moves under him.

Also much like the first time Jiang Cheng doesn’t quite understand how Nie Mingjue manages it, but when they come to a rest again, it’s Jiang Cheng who is being pressed into the couch by Nie Mingjue’s weight.

“You’re heavy,” Jiang Cheng gives back, mostly because he feels it’s only fair.

“Shut up,” Nie Mingjue mutters, hiding his face in Jiang Cheng’s neck, clearly content to fall asleep again right there.

“You shouldn’t sleep here, my soul,” Jiang Cheng mumbles as he cards his fingers through Nie Mingjue’s hair, lightly scratching at his scalp as he does it.

“Then you shouldn’t be this comfortable or do that,” is the slurred answer he gets and Jiang Cheng huffs out a laugh.

“Fine, you get half an hour,” he decides and goes boneless under Nie Mingjue.

He is quite heavy, but Jiang Cheng loves that weight on him, the reassurance and the steady presence and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

In hindsight it seems so incredibly stupid that he deprived both of them of this for so long, but Jiang Cheng decides that he’d rather enjoy the moment right now than dwell on the past.

And so he slings his free arm around Nie Mingjue’s middle, hugging him tighter, while the other keeps up with his ministrations.

It’s not long before he drifts off as well, Nie Mingjue already slightly snoring away on top off him, and it’s much more than half an hour before Nie Mingjue wakes him by peppering kisses all over his face.

It’s a very good way to wake up, Jiang Cheng decides.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[theduvetpirate]

Finished the Raven cycle and I had a lot of thoughts but I actually can’t remember anything that happened apart from very specific scenes???? Also I am very heavily in favour of Gansey as he is definitely my absolute favourite but the other two are quite horrible to him for a lot of the book considering 9/10 times he’s genuinely trying to help and they are aware he’s trying to help and doesn’t mean to flash the cash and I just ???? Don’t get it?? Maybe cos I am a fully developed woman in her late 20s and I would just not let someone I care about speak to me like they do sometimes no matter how upset you are, especially if I’m trying to help you and the issue isn’t my fault to start with 😂 or maybe because I relate a lot to Gansey with feeling like my friends don’t need me like I need them so maybe I’m just projecting hahahaha

Adam especially is horrible to Gansey quite a few times where I just thought he was way out of line, even including when eventually Gansey had enough and snapped at him and was horrible back and Adam was all FUCK YOU and left the car and I feel awful for thinking it but the entire time I was like ?? So you don’t like being treated this way but you treat Gansey like this a LOT especially at the start ?? Hmm. I realise this is part of adams development, and he grew on me a lot as the series progressed but in the first two books especially I couldn’t stand him 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also so much stuff got confusing and was so fast and unexplained or like just resolved so quickly that the pacing felt a bit wild, idk how to articulate this brain dump I’m having hahahahah

On the flip side though I genuinely loved this pure portrayal of platonic love between the gangsey, especially the three main boys and their love for each other and willingness to do anything and follow each other anywhere, because I LOVE found family stories and this one satisfied that for me!!! They’re all in love!!! Yes!!!!! The scene when Gansey and ronan went to the trial made me want to shriek I was so happy, wish it hadn’t ended so abruptly I’d have loved to have read more of that,

Bluesey was well developed too imo, the secret calls, that ONE SCENE WHERE HE HOLDS HER HAND BRIEFLY IN THE SIDE of THE PIG omg!!!!!!!! The toga party!!! Just ahh I love them, ronan and Adam were developed well too, genuinely enjoyed both couple arcs neither felt forced or ingenuine or too plot devicey (although ofc bluesey is a huge main plot point)

Henry was,,,,a total babe but like didn’t feel necessary to the plot at all ngl idk if anyone else feels that way, love him to pieces but??? He felt inserted for no reason really

Sad about Noah’s ending but enjoyed his friendship with ronan the most I think

Also idk how I feel about ronan being literally so OP that everything in the book ends up being what he created idk, when I started I kinda hoping it was the actual plot was this quest for glendower but I did feel it seems to get sidetracked WAYYYY more into the dream stuff, tho ig it did come back around to the king eventually… haha oh well

Anyway omg I’ve been rambling about nothing for ages lmaoooooo

I think in essence it’s like,, could this have been written more coherently and consistently plot wise, yes probably, would I die for the gangsey and reread this series till I die, also yes 😭😂😂😂😂😂😂 am I biased to Gansey and blind to any of his flaws, also yes probably hahahahahahahaha

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝐃𝐚𝐝! 𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲'𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬

❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

"What even are you doing Mingi?"

Hongjoong questioned when the taller boy randomly picked up his son from the carrier and proceeded to take him inside the recording booth.

"I'm bored and we got writer's block. So I'm trying to have a little fun."

Lifting the boy up so his tiny mouth could reach the microphone, Mingi looked back at Hongjoong.

"Try recording his little babbles and let's make it into your alarm ringtone since obviously his cries are the only way to get you to wake up." He teased the leader.

Hongjoong was about to retaliate, but ultimately opted not to. Obliging instead to the request, he put on his headphones and pressed the live button. Mingi gently bounced the baby in his arms, making him emit tiny giggles and squeals.

"Ok that is pretty adorable." Hongjoong smiled fondly.

Mingi began making faces at the boy and raised his voice in a higher pitch.

"Can you say a few words? Like Uncle Mingi is the best? Or I love Uncle Mingi more than his Dada?"

The boy looked at Mingi in puzzlement.

"Yeah. You love me more than Dada." He repeated, puffing his cheeks out and pointing to Hongjoong who was just rolling his eyes by now.

The baby looked over at Hongjoong before blurting out the softest "Da..Da."

Hongjoong fell out of his chair and scrambled to get up to run inside the booth. Taking the baby away from Mingi, he held his face close.

"Can you say that again? Just one more time. I need to get that recorded right now."

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

Seonghwa let out a series of noises as he carefully fed his daughter in front of him.

"Babe, you're doing that again." You told him as you continued whisking the pancake mix.

"Doing what?" He hardly payed attention to your question though as he continued to play around with the spoon in his hand, making it swirl around in the air while mimicking airplane sounds.

"Acting more like a baby than our actual baby." You snorted.

"No one's more babier than our little baby. She just likes playing around during eating time."

Seonghwa held the spoon close to her mouth, allowing her to take it into her mouth, some of it spilling on her chin as she munched it down at an alarmingly fast pace.

"Ok hold on there. Eat a little more slowly babygirl. Geez for a tiny thing, you sure have a big appetite."

When he pulled away the spoon, she started whining, upset at having her meal taken away from her. Her tiny eyebrows furrowed and her puree covered lips pouted in discontent.

"Oh look. She turned into an angry bird." You chuckled at her frowning face.

"It's not her fault she loves food."

When he held up the spoon again, her eyes widened and she began squirming around.

"You want more? Want more Num Num?" Seonghwa used the term that always seemed to get a reaction from her.

"Num num!" She squealed out of nowhere.

Seonghwa dropped the puree filled spoon on the table, not caring that he made a mess as he began freaking out over her first words.

"OH MY GOD Y/N! DID YOU HEAR HER?! SHE SAID HER FIRST WORDS! NUM NUM!"

Right away, she repeated after him when she heard the word again, making him lose it even more.

"Seonghwa.......num num isn't an actual word though....it's more like an onomatopoeia.."

But he was not listening to you.

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

You held your daughter on your lap as the boys in front of you continued to practice their choreography ardently, her tiny figure loving it whenever you began bouncing her on your knee.

"Mingi!" Wooyoung screeched for the thousandth time.

"What?!" Mingi exclaimed, tired of being called out every 16 seconds.

"You're doing it wrong...again!" San joined in.

The other guys began groaning, some of them just dropping to the floor as they knew it would turn into another argument on who's right and who's wrong. Yunho looked over at you, shooting you an apologetic look as he had promised just one more run through and then you could both leave, but clearly that wasn't happening. You just smiled and grabbing your daughter's tiny hands, you waved them around, mimicking a show of support.

"Ok ok guys stop. Fighting will get us nowhere, so let's just go through it one more time so we can go home. Deal?" Hongjoong stepped in to put everyone in their place.

"Don't mess this up anymore Mingi. I got a scheduled cuddle session with Shiber that I can't be late for." San glared at him.

"I won't! Geez!" Mingi scoffed dramatically.

"Guys? Should we huddle up and shout 'hwaiting'?" Jongho suggested.

All of them immediately got together and placed one hand in the center.

"8 makes 1 team! Hwaiting!" They all shouted loudly.

Before they could press play on the music again, a tiny and excited 'hwaiting' made them all turn their heads towards you and the baby.

"Y/N......was that you or..?" Yunho looked at you with hopeful eyes.

You immediately shook your head and pointed at the tiny baby in your hands, who repeated what she said, a little jumbled, but still coherent.

Not just Yunho, but all of them started hollering and going insane over the baby's first words. Yunho rushed over and tried to get her to say more things.

"Ok now can you try and say daddy for me?"

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

Yeosang poked a piece of chicken off the drumstick. Looking over at his son, he began to hold it towards his face, luckily you got there just in time to stop him.

"Yeosang!" You scolded him.

At your sharp tone, his fork slipped off his grip.

"I did nothing!" He held his hands up.

"Were you seriously about to feed our 1 year old chicken?" You exclaimed in disbelief.

"But honey! Look at him! He's hungry. What kind of father lets his child starve?" He pouted at you.

"Well here's an idea: why not get up and make him a bottle?" You suggested.

Yeosang looked at the baby and then back at you.

"Why not just pull your nipple out of your shirt and give him your milk?"

Seeing your widening eyes and wandering hands that were reaching for the nearest thing to throw at him, Yeosang immediately got up and went to the cabinets to start making a bottle.

"Geez! It was only a joke. No need to take it seriously. Besides...."

He snorted to himself before glancing back at you.

"It was pretty funny. Hehet."

You were going to say something back to him, but when your son repeated his father's 'hehet', you both stopped and stared at him before staring back at each other, silently asking each other if they heard right.

"Hehet." The boy answered your question when he said it again.

Yeosang came over, a smug smile on his face as he shook the baby bottle before lifting his son up in his arms. He kissed the top of his head and chuckled.

"Hehet. I knew you'd inherit my sense of humor."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

San waved the plushie in front of the boy's face.

"Shiiiiberrr." He spoke out once again, but the boy stayed unfazed.

"Ok ok, I get it. I'll go slower this time."

Clearing his throat, he shook the plush rather violently.

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiibbbbbbbbbeerrrr."

You cringed at San, inwardly regretting telling him about the fact that supposedly your son should have started talking by now, or at least babbling some words.

"San just give up. Maybe he's not ready yet."

But he wasn't going to be persuaded.

"No! I will get him to talk. Trust me on this, our son will soon say mommy or daddy or Shiber. Whichever comes first."

As San continued his attempts to get his son to mutter even a single word, your furry feline friend decided it would be a good idea to watch and proceeded to perch herself on the dresser right in front of your baby and San. Your son caught glimpse of his favorite bedtime buddy and began squealing, arms outstretched wanting to cuddle her.

"I'll give you the plushie once you say his name. Shiber." San offered.

You rolled your eyes.

"He doesn't want Shiber, he wants Byeol." You pointed out.

Having had his back turned, San whipped his head and saw Byeol staring him down.

"What? Byeol! Out I say! I'm still mad at you for getting your litter all over my clothes. Stop distracting my baby and get out!"

When the cat hissed at him when he tried to pick her up, San retreated.

"Byeol!" He warned her.

"B.....Bo....Byeol!" Your son finally spoke up.

You were so overjoyed at his words you immediately crouched in front of him, making sure to bring the cat with you.

"Yes! Yes! This is Byeol! Can you say her name again?"

The cat purred softly as the baby petted her ears before repeating her name, this time more clearly. San stood there looking shocked. Huffing softly, he crossed his arms.

"This doesn't mean you're off the hook Byeol."

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲��𝓰𝓲

Shifting the camera around, Mingi held it up towards you as you were currently playing around with your daughter who was in her little bouncer.

"And here we have the most beautiful creature to bless this earth."

You were about to let out an 'aww' at Mingi's words until he spoke up again.

"Honey could you please move aside so we can see the baby more clearly?"

Glaring at your husband, you picked up one of the tiny plushies surrounding your daughter and threw it at him, causing the baby to start laughing at her dad.

"Agression caught on camera!" He exclaimed as he faked being severely hurt by your actions.

You ignored him and turned your attention back to your daughter.

"Don't pay any attention to daddy. He's mean and bad." You cooed softly at her.

Mingi gasped dramatically, holding a hand over his mouth.

"Me? Bad?" He asked.

You nodded your head, not even bothering to look at him as you repeated yourself.

"Yes. Very very bad daddy." You tickled your daughter's feet.

"Bewy bad."

Both of you were surprised that your daughter said not 1, but 2 words, and it was even more surprising because it wasn't even time for her to start babbling just yet. Mingi sat down next to you, focusing the camera on her tiny face.

"Did you guys hear that?! She actually said 'bewy bad!" Mingi began squealing from excitement.

Not taking her eyes off Mingi, the baby began repeating herself.

"Bad.......bad...bad."

Mingi chuckled.

"Ok sweetheart, I get it. You can say bad, but maybe now try saying 'Dada'. Similar right?" He urged her to continue.

The baby simply picked up another toy and threw it at the camera.

"Bad!" She piped out.

Mingi now turned the camera to you.

"Look what you've done! Now she'll forever refer to me as 'bad'!" He huffed out.

"Ok but where's the lie though?" You teased him.

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

After the initial shock died down of hearing your daughter's first words, Wooyoung and you began screaming.

"She said her first words!" You cheered.

"I know! Wait! Was it a one time thing or...?"

Pressing his face in her view, Wooyoung intently stared at his baby.

"Repeat what you said. Mama." He told her.

Although it took her a while the second time, ultimately she said the word again, making you both applaud at her efforts. You were on the verge of crying at hearing your daughter call out for you for the very first time.

"Ok ok. Now.....say 'dada.' You know? As in your favorite parent? Dada." Wooyoung giggled at her.

"Mama." The girl said again.

"Yes yes, we get it. You can say mama, but now I want you to say dada ok?"

Wooyoung kept repeating the word over and over again, but each time the baby would instead say the one word she had learned so far. It was honestly hilarious watching Wooyoung get frustrated as his daughter refused to budge and instead continued to annoy him by saying mama instead of dada.

"Ok.....one last time. Da...da." Wooyoung went slower this time.

The baby took a tiny breath and Wooyoung actually got his hopes up but ultimately being let down.

"Mama." The baby squeaked.

Wooyoung began yelling in anger.

"Ya! The whole reason I wanted a girl was so that you could be daddy's little princess, not mommy's little pet! You're supposed to love me more! I'm the fun parent, your mom is supposed to be the one grounding you and forbidden you from doing fun things, how could you betray me like this?!"

Wooyoung wheezed violently after he got his rant out. The 10 month old just blinked at him, not understanding what caused him to be so agitated, but responded the only way she could.

"Mama."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

Jongho looked over at you every once in a while, chuckling at your seemingly futile attempts to get your son to say his first words, particularly, you wanted him to say "mommy" or "mama."

"Mommy." You repeated once again.

But the baby seemed more interested in his dad, watching him peel some apples and put them in a bowl. Normally he'd be splitting them in half, but since you were going to be baking an apple pie, you just needed them peeled at the moment.

"Baby. Please pay attention." You waved the rattle in his face to get him to look at you.

"Honey don't force him. There's still time. Besides you can't really trust everything google tells you." Jongho tried to comfort you.

But you weren't about to give up. You were hell bent on getting your son to call for you.

"Mama. Mama."

You pouted when the boy adamantly ignored you and just continued cooing softly at his father's movements.

"What? Do you prefer daddy over me?" You asked him, not really expecting him to answer.

"Da........deeee."

Jongho dropped the apple he was holding, eyes shooting up as he heard the baby's babble.

"Did....did he just say daddy?" He looked at you, but your son confirmed it once again for him.

"Daddeeee."

Jongho got up and went over to stand in front of your son, smiling proudly at him.

"Yes my little buddy. I'm your daddy and you just made me so happy."

He picked him up and kissed his cheek before stealing him away from you to spend more time with him.

"Ummm....we were having mother- son bonding time?" You told him.

"Well it's obvious he prefers my company."

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.