#if this doesnt describe my life...
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she’s like if the virgin mary smoked a pack of pall malls every day 🚬
#sims 4#the sims community#simblr#ts4#sims 4 edit#mysims#drawing/editing these tears took actual years off my life#editing this in general did but the tears were my hell#her name is norma jean named after her grandmother but she goes by either jeanie or jj#she works at the local convenience store and bartends at night when shes able to pick up shifts#shes the worst bartender in existence and refuses to lift anything over 2 pounds#she once convinced a customer to buy her a sweater because she looked a little cold while working#she lied and said her manager never lets them turn on the heat and casually mentioned pennys was selling her favorite sweater#and then described in detail exactly where the sweater was in the store#all she had to do was blink her big brown eyes and call them baby a few times and they immediately folded#she goes to church 7 days a week even though she hates it because that's what she did when her mom was still alive#and its one of the few things that helps her feel close to her mom#her mom died after she had to drop out of highschool to take care of her#she holds a lot of resentment for having to give up such a big part of her life#but at the same time blames herself for not being able to make her mom better#she doesnt believe in banks and hides money around her house to store it but she's also super forgetful#she'll randomly find money around the house and then treat herself like it was present she meant to leave for her future self#she loves crosswords but treats it like a fun game and refuses to check if her answers are ever right#there's ur fun little facts about jeanie 🫵🏼
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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i locked in too hard and fought tooth and nail with ibis paint to make this but by god i did it 🛌 THE FILE GOT CORRUPTED LIKE 5 TIMES. i think turbo is real and he is out to get me.
these are a collection of experiments i did to figure out how i want to draw The Freak! i certainly learned a lot. i love drawing characters in 50 different ways with no consistency its so fun moohahaha. expect more turbo art in the future (but probably less artistically chaotic as this turned out 👶 oopsays)
There's alternate versions under the cut + have a bonus doodle :-]<
good grief
#OBLIGATORY I DON'T SUPPORT DISNEY ⚠️#I really really dont like him#And i also didnt make a self insert oc to interact with him in various ways#Because im just not that kind of guy#Turbotastic more like Ummm Turdoplastic (STUPID!!!!!) i turnt him into this 👉🟤#He should die. I will make it my lifes mission to end his life#IM GRINDING HIM INTO A POWDER TO MIX INTO LIQUID TO FEED MY HATCHLINGS#im still not sure how i feel about the bloody nose turbo but like i said these r all experimental 🌞peace and love🕊️#it just doesnt LOOK like him to me idk how to describe it#and the pose is lowkey fart#BUT OH WELL ❤️🩹#turbo wir#turbo wreck it ralph#TURBOTASTIC#how do tumblr tags work i dont know#Im not crazy#turbo#wreck it ralph
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forgive me if you've been asked this before or if its annoying, but how did you learn to use colored pencils like that? your art is so special to me.
ty :) I took an art class for a few years where our teacher had us buy prismacolor pencils as one of the art supplies and had us use them kinda like paints, pressing down hard right away and blending the colors together. its not how youre supposed to use them she was just trying to teach us to use color and ig this was more to the point. I picked them up again years after i stopped going to that class just bc they were there and i wanted to play around w them a bit and ended up actually enjoying it when doing it on my own terms lol
#it was a weird class#it was just this russian lady doing private lessons in her house that my mom learned about somehow#I did NOT like those classes all we did was still life and they were hours long which is esp rough when im in high school and busy#and she wanted us to stand while working the whole time bc tradition i guess?#she did allow me to work sitting but thought i was lazy for it. idk dude i dont want to exhaust myself fast for no reason#standing is a lot more tiring than walking#i def did still benefit from those classes just from learning to accurately draw from life#did not like the teacher tho#on one hand shed paid for the art supplies for kids whos families were too poor to (and these are nice expensive supplies)#which is very nice#but on the other she was very homophobic and open about it#like when they legalized gay marriage she went on a rant about how horrible it is that they can adopt kids now#and also kind of racist#she was telling me how she got blocked from a facebook group bc she made a post asking if she could speak to a white person#and she didnt realize she was posting that publicly she thought it was a private message to the group owner#im honestly still not sure i heard/understood her correctly bc it was so bizzare and the only time i ever remember her being racist#she talked abt it like she genuienly was unaware it was racist#she described it as a misunderstanding bc she accidentally posted it publicly instead of privately#like it wouldnt have been racist to ask that at all#also one time she talked about how she saw demons in her home once#also she doesnt vaccinate her kids bc of microchips#she was like a walking russian stereotype lol#anyway heres some ink the artist lore
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id like to thank ninjago episode snake jaguar for everything but nothing all at the same time
#alek art#lego ninjago#ninjago#sensei wu#ninjago wu#zane julien#previous master of ice mention#2024#(going to do this everytime) FOR CONTEXT : dr juliens 1st death and garms banishment took place in a similar time frame#so wu wouldve been young when he met zane for the first time#also i am very aware zane is ooc here ! prior to getting his powers and them actually settling in his body and mind.. he was a bit of a#jackass in my eyes. we see bits and pieces of zane snark in the series itself BUT like. dr julien described zane as acting different post#getting his powers. and we know elemental powers can mess with how someone behaves. kai being a hot head... so yeah#really wise whimsical old man stuck in the body of a 19 year old#VERSUS#egocentric grown ass man with no friends who lives in the woods and is a robot#they become friends. zane calls wu 'kid' every sentence#i forgot that wu doesnt visit zane often in canon. uhhh basically in my version bc avg zane fan thing to change canon: wu goes to dr julien#house and sees zane. he knew ice had 'gifted' zane his powers and how that could really fuck up a person. he shows up everyday for a week o#two and him and zane talk while zane swims or cuts wood or whatever. wu says their house is in the way of his walking path as an excuse#eventually wu stops showing up and dr julien passes and life goes on as we see them in canon#does rhat make any sense at all ? probably not i have a horrific headache#uhh at the time of writing this we are on s7 (on rewatch) so if anything changes ill lyk . lolsies#ask me about them please
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#oh my godddddd this looks incredible#if youre a fan of kate and have the means to go to new york go see her#like from these clips alone it just shows off her absolute prowess as an actor#the stage really is her home man like she looks so natural there#im so sad i cant just whip up a plane ticket to ny but ill support her in spirit#kate mulgrew#i legit screeched upon watching this#like with any luck they'll do a cheeky full release of a filmed version after the show is over (unlikely but a girl can dream)#no but you guys dont understand that moment of her drawing is so interesting because she has said she misses her mother and#she has never really described herself as and artist but she absolutely is doing something there like her body language is dead on#i dont think she has the patience to be an actual artist it does require a bit of solitude and being in one place for countless hours#kate always strikes me as someone who doesnt settle down but she understands artmaking because of her mum/ family that is so epic to me omg#maybe in another life for her...she could have
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in the backs of my eyes, light does not reach. black and white, monochrome stars, inky null and blinding full. others dream, and my thoughtlessness seeks. though i cannot see, and though i cannot breathe in every moment my eyes breach free- i dream. not for grandeur, not for fillment, i dream of nothing but hope. for days where i could, for the days i would dream. sitting in the back seat. squalid radio turned to rage. looking at her shoulder’s locks, dreaming of the cage. taken to my first bar, shown my first rave not forgotten, not forsaken, the only love i will take to my grave. cigarettes and mud, alleys and grunge all i wanted was saving. gone so far, seeded so deep, until it whittled into camaraderie. when the shows over, she’d take me home and leave me in her bed. that night i would be cherished, and that morning we'd be fed. i see their faces in my dreams, as every possibility, every tangle, every thread, every filament held together. like a bastion of memory, creating false to fill the empty. to grant hope to a greyscale null. * * starlight ash, the null of the void, the hopes of a begotten child. is there anything to hear, when the screams are of fear, or choking of brittle and tears? his hopes were so mild, his rage was unbridled, how could she be any different? feel her eyes shiver, feel her soul take, feel the ties of the poverished ingrate. your help cannot find it, your thoughts cannot find it, your hands cannot feel it, your heart cannot take it, your legs cannot shake it and your teeth cannot break it. in every part of you is her no matter how hard you fight it has been the end of her not of her blight. only of her light.
#im so tired. i want anyone to talk to or be with. ever. i miss being alive. i miss dreaming. i miss hoping. i miss having things to hope for#it doesnt have to be too late. so i try. but it always ends up feeling like it is. im so alone. so scared. i just need a way in. to life.#a way into a group. something other than this isolating pain.#this is the best way i could describe my feelings. esp since begging for attention doesnt work. but it isnt enough. i have so many dreams.#so many hopes i am forgetting every second. please. god i wish i could be normal and not have to beg or bare myself fully like this.#i honestly wish i could be more private but i need to beg. and idk how else to. im so desperate for any interaction god fuck i hate it here
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that "are we friends in every universe" thing from tiktok but with all the complicated forms my platonic love manifests for people that i dont have a name for
#oh boy. how do i even tag this.#okay. starting from the top:#batman#tim drake#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#tenth doctor#donna noble#solid snake#raiden mgs#diana burnwood#agent 47#xigbar#oc: xeva#deacon fo4#sole survivor#my doodles#my aroace + autistic identities make it really difficult to describe my love for other people#like if i had to name how important my friends are to me it would fall somewhere along the lines of ''saved my life''#but even that doesnt capture the enormity of it. anyway rant OVER#doodles
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I desperately need celebrity au solangelo like imagine the potential of singer will being at the peak of his career facing his worst controversy and then there’s heart throb actor nico who’s pretty much a star from childhood, they met at an event, and boom LETS GO!! fwb, secret sort of relationship, nico helping will get through the public scrutiny, will slowly realising nico’s kinda hot, will having breakdowns about his feelings and writing 8371838 songs about pining and longing, might as well throw a bit of angsty ‘oh so you’re embarrassed to be seen with me’ accusations because im a masochist…. all i know is by the end when will is thriving again with a new album on tour nico will be fawning and dying as will points to him in the crowd singing love songs, not caring that the live camera caught that, and makes out the whole day after as twitter is in shambles because WDYM WILL SOLACE’S LATEST HEART WRENCHING SAPPY YEARNING ALBUM IS ABOUT NICO DI ANGELO FROM DISNEY CHANNEL???!!!
#flasback when you met me your buzzcut and my hair bleached#even in my worst times you could see the best of me#oh theyre OBSESSED with eo#i just know there isnt a single song where will doesnt at least use one line to describe how ethereal nico is#and nico going insane over not being able to reach out to will at events because they’re supposed to be just acquaintances#nico holding back from mentioning will’s name or even hint at a singer when interviewers ask him about his dating life#will binging every episode of BOTH 3 seasons disney sitcoms nico starred in back in the days#and then getting whiplash when he tunes in nico’s more recent filmography because WOW THE GLOWUP#pjo#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#pjo hoo toa#nico di angelo#will solace#solangelo
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there is something very sad about Peg just wanting to tell BJ about her day to day life, the mundane things in the house that need to be fixed and the funny things that happen to her, all things he would've enjoyed hearing about or would've handled with her if he'd been there, and having absolutely no idea what effect these letters actually have on him
#mash#peg hunnicutt#bj hunnicutt#hi I need to be in my feelings about the Hunnicutts#because I keep seeing posts about Peg's letters acting like she's deliberately setting him off somehow and they annoy me#she is literally just describing her day to day life she is filling pages with mundane chores and tasks and encounters#telling him every little thing that happens that made her laugh#because she loves him and misses him#and she wants him to know everything that's happening while he's away#she has absolutely no idea that BJ loses his goddamn mind over some of these#how would she know how he gets over the gutters? the kitchen flooding?#those are day to day things that just happen#all she's doing is rambling on in letters because she has to tell him every little thing every day because she loves him#she's writing these things thinking he'll just smile maybe have a laugh#because thats what he would've done when he was home with her#and thats why its so sad#she doesn't know these things dont make him smile#she doesnt know how much he's changing#she doesnt know how much he's already changed
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Cannot imagine whatever is going on through Mr Leonard Echowatcher's head. You spend your life yearning for a world where you lived differently, where the day wasnt soaked in war, blood, and battle. Where you could envision a future where you have a partner and a family with friends to live gracefully with. But then you are given such opportunities only to find you were never taught to be gentle, you have a gentle, empathetic nature and yet the physicality of it is a stranger to you. You are expected to raise a child with gentle hands so that she saves the world, What does that even mean? How can you accept your growing love for your friend when you were never taught how to love, that intimate love is a luxury best left forgotten, there are no need for such things in war. He has to learn to become the things he wanted bc he grew too old to develop it naturally. He becomes a father to taimi fumbling his way into learning how to care and parent, he is defensive of Aurene bc he is from a culture where they arent expected to raise their own young and yet has to do so with a dragon. It feels like a test, He has to prove both to others and to himself he is capable of being a father, of nuturing, that calloused, stained hands can still be gentle. He has to accept that love is a terrifying leap of faith in vulnerability in order to gain a partnership that is considered a rarity. I love the idea that he spent 30 years yearning for things he thought he would never have and when he is actually given those opportunities (albeit admittedly through unusual circumstances) he has to learn how to actually live in them, becuase they were always just Concepts until now. Ohhhh my god Mr. Leo you are my everything
#rambling about my guy at 3am#its so so sos so important to leo's lore that he wishes he had freedom from the legions while still being inherently loyal to them bc he#cannot break the loyalty that is so fervent in his culture's belief so he doesnt leave and instead tries to be the change he wants to see#in savoring life and preventing reckless deaths and maybe one day allowing for more connections between the charr re their relationships#while also battling with the fact now that he has these chances hes not actually prepared for him#hes defensive about Aurene and he takes a while to admit his feelings for rytlock because of these#does this makes sense me shaking the camera do you see my vision he makes me insane#hes so tired hes sooooo tired but theres this constant weight on him at all times its just not a world ending one but a personal one#javi gw2#leonard echowatcher#this isnt even ABOUT being diallusioned with how the legions disregard lige and treat their soldiers as a numbers game bc thats an entire#different problem this is just abt his more personal struggles.#god i remember describing all his interactions with rytlock (intimacy wise) were all very passionate bc he didnt know how to allow himself#to be vulnerable and gentle#or rather hes scared to be bc its not natural to him#so when they see each other again and leo IS more gentle with him in private that is a huuuge deal#also im definitely not conflating romantic and platonic relationships bc those can be just as important#so im directly speaking about more intimate relationships or regarding whatever leo viewed himself wanting#which was like a partner and a family#sound the alarm this hardened soldier secretly dreams of a domestic fantasy he will never have#is esentially what it is#leo was made to be bbq dad who cleans gravestones and plants flowers for the feceased and is forced into [the entire plot of gw2]#sorry im rambling okay bye
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silly idea time
idk how this idea even started but the outfit i had in mind was way back from a doodle in 2021 or 2022, basically my 'what if' for temperance ending only instead of being wildly ooc and wearing a collared button up johnny becomes a cowboy. and because i was listening to vagrant song from wtwtlw (that whole ost really, and hardspace shipbreaker) i had the bright idea that johnny would finally become what his class in the ttrpg was an homage to and wander around collecting stories n telling them n kind of being a dead man walking/ghost story/witness/helper-bard r smthn but having been extremely tempered by the experience of v choosing to die for him, being shocked enough into actually thinking about his beleifs n what have you, humbled enough now to want to listen to others hed choose this path of wandering the continent of na, maybe for the first time in a long time actually taking in life around him yadda yadda. in my little scenario i also had it that even if/when the next corpo war broke out or the nusa annexed more free states, he wouldnt get involved like he used to, cause i think its interesting to muse on how a profound experience would greatly change someone so stuck in their ways like johnny. i think hed still be motivated by guilt and avoidance at first, but it would evolve into something more like a calling/altruism as he takes more seriously and uses more intentionally the time he was given as a dead man walking
also i realize how much of this 'outfit' is just putting v in a hat and calling them johnny like its some perry the platypus thing (also idk how to draw hats)
#plus i think itd be cool to see how johnny comes to the realization he can make small changes and that those matter#and that he was a little erroneously trying to move too many mountains at once in his first life#and that he was a little too much there just for the destructive violence and maybe not for better reasons#cyberpunk 2077#my v#johnny silverhand#yeah and morality pet steve guy would not be a thing its far too cliche im sorry johnny would not fucking do all that#my doodles#plus i think he was a bit disconnected as a rockstar/edgerunner from like... the toils#even tho he liked to talk about the grander toils and lived some specific toils but like getting more connected with the peoples toils#in a psuedo americana esque wasteland that is the middle of the former nusa#ghost story in the sense he doesnt leave much anything behind that ppl could follow or really describe n such things#besides like stories or conversations or helping out where its needed#also think itd be interesting for him to completely reevaluate what justice means in a world like this#fun stuff! i should draw out that sketch of him sitting with a coyote sometime...#nomad but like not in the clan way
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i feel actually so at home at my new place now it's crazy how good it feels. i have almost never felt this comfortable and calm and free at home
#its hard to describe but it hit me today how nice it felt to go back home after work#like for majority of my life home was something i didn't feel welcome in and a place to kinda run from#and never a place to invite anyone either#its just so fucking nice#and also its so exciting to buy new things for this place#everything here is a relief so far its so like. relaxing and peaceful#my dog likes it here as well she sleeps so well here she sometimes doesnt hear im back in the evening dhsjsjsj#i have to wake her up to take her for a walk
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working in an art gallery and talking to a lot of full time artists has given me CRAZY imposter syndrome btw lmao
#i went to a local gallery today (not the one i work in)#and i was looking at this one artists work#and she used a lot of patterns but didnt go up to her#she came up to me as i was looking at her work like ' hi i see youre looking at my work which one do u like most' like okay#i had my headphones on at the time so it did scare me#anyway im really stuck thinking about her work#like shes got this lovely cluttered and messy and chaotic style with still life in one dimension#and she uses pattern and quilt-like grids and so much colour#and the chaos of her work is by far the best part#how nothing stays in their boxes andeverythings falling#its homely and DRAMATIC. which is a mix that doesnt always go together but is held together by the chaos of her work#AND THEN SHE PUTS COLLAGE QUOTES ON IT 'fly high in the sky like a butterfly'#AUUUGGGHHH it pisses me off so much. REALLY? THATS THE BEST QUOTE? no song lyrics no deepp meaning nothing to express the narrative? bitch#love her style but its KITCH shes KITCH her quotes are KITCH her subjects are KITCH <- lives in kitch central of the uk but WHATEVER#by the way im not exagerrating with fly high like a butterfly she really thought that was the quote to describe this chaotic scene like she#eight years old like what the hell. there ere others too the pissed me off#and then i talked to her and she was like. WEIRDLY insistant tht even though she used stencils and that her dughter and husbnd drew anythin#mildly complicated that she had still done a lot of work I HADNT SAID ANYTHING#but she was just BRUSHING OVER whenever i mentioned her patterns and stencils like she was ASHAMED#like what the hell im all for having fun with what you draw but youre three times my age and i can draw a bird better than our adult daught#also i spoke to her turns out she knows my stepdad so that was an odd link but whatever#anyway artists that give me imostersyndrome are my boss who does realism in WATERCOLOUR#oh the woman in the gallery also gave me a printed card whcih was cool since i was going to buy one just to be mad at
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Curly haired shou (in a strawberry jacket because he deserves it <3)
[ID: fully colored and cell shaded art of shou from Mob Psycho 100. The background is a simple pastel yellow, and the colors are warm. He is light skinned, with light freckles and blue eyes, and his usually spiky orange hair is styled curly instead. In addition, he is wearing a white jacket adorned with pastel strawberries and accents of green, a yellow and orange striped shirt, brown pants, and yellow, pink and green boots. As he stands, hands in his jackets' pockets, he is smirking. End ID.]
#mob psycho 100#mp100 fanbook#suzuki shou#art#mp100#my own art#image described#my own post#i like to think that maybe he lets his hair grow out after the series and keeps it curly this time...#sort of like. a signifier of a new stage of his life. when he doesnt feel tied down to his father anymore and now can be freer and softer#its a nice thought i think :)#also what hair gel do you use shou.. how do u get it to stick up like that jdhhd#tell me ur secrets /j
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...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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