#if this doesn’t make you see why a 12 and 14 year old dating is weird

[zutarawasrobbed]

People defending k@taang’s relationship in the live-action are fucking wild. Gordon Cormier (Aang’s actor) lost a baby tooth on set. Dude still has baby teeth, and y’all are convinced this child is ready to be in a serious relationship?!?!

[gunsandspaceships]

Tony’s Childhood. Part 1: Identifying facts

In the MCU, Tony sometimes acts like a kid. There is a reason behind every behavior, so I wondered what it was like for him when he was a real kid.

So, the questions of the day: what do we know about Tony's childhood? Did he have one? And, most importantly, how did it affect him?

Let’s first list what we know from the movies:

At age 4 Tony built his first circuit board (IM1)

At age 6 built his first engine (IM1)

Was sent to a boarding school by Howard (IM2)

Cracked the Pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare (AoU)

Had a nanny until the age of 14 (IM3)

Went to college at 14 (IM1)

Built Dum-E and U when he was there (IM1)

At 17 graduated summa cum laude from MIT (IM1)

Continued his education until his parents’ death (CW)

Tony’s genius gave him two things: the brain and the pain. And by the pain, I mean that instead of interacting and bonding with his parents, enjoying life, playing, having fun, making friends, taking care of pets, and all the other things children do to gradually prepare for adulthood and grow up "healthy", he got this list of achievements. That doesn’t make a person normal.

Parents

We know his relationship with Howard was complicated. Howard loved him in his own way. He had too many things to do to be a good father: SI, S.H.I.E.L.D., scientific projects, trying to build a better future with clean energy, etc. All good, except when you want your child to love you back. Especially if in the tiny amount of time you spend with him, you don’t show him any signs of affection.

What do we know about Maria? Her name, what she looked like, that she played the piano, and died at Winter Soldier’s hand on Dec 16, 1991. That’s it. She didn’t spend much time with Tony either. Remember, he even had a nanny, instead of a mother. Tony's words about her showed that he loved her, but he didn't talk much about her. Because she wasn’t present in his life enough. Why? Because…

School

Howard sent Tony to a boarding school.

Here’s in the S.H.I.E.L.D.s file we have this information about the school:

“Phillips Academy, Andover, MA 1977-1984”

This means he was there from age 7 to 14. Howard sent him to a boarding school when he was SEVEN.

Phillips Academy Andover serves grades 9-12 only (it is a college preparatory school). Thus, either this is a mistake by the creators of the film/file, or Tony, due to his genius, became an exception. Since the early age he was already at school was also mentioned in IM2 tie-in comics, and in Earth-616 that was also 7, we can mark 1977-1984 as valid.

Think about it again: Tony was sent to boarding school in another state when he was 7 years old. He spent another 7 years there, alone, among high school-aged teenagers. No parents around, no peers.

For example, even Hogwarts accepts 11-year-old children, and they live with their peers. Now imagine Harry Potter, at the age of 7, is thrown into a dorm with 7th-year students and locked there. Doesn’t make a person normal either, does it?

Nannies and Jarvis

Since Tony was at the boarding school, there are two options for how he could have a nanny (mentioned in IM3) and spend time with Edwin Jarvis:

1) He was at the boarding school with a nanny. There is almost no possibility that the nanny was Edwin Jarvis because Jarvis was Howard’s butler and had other responsibilities.

2) He had a nanny at home in the summer and during short school breaks. In this case, his parents couldn’t even give him this little of their precious time.

In any case, he could only see Jarvis at home, a few months a year at most.

Note: There is a date error in IM3, stating Tony was 14 in 1983. This is clearly an error and we can omit this detail.

Bullying

Remember this dialog between Tony and Harley in IM3?

0:45:15 – Harley asks him how he knew he was being bullied at school. Tony doesn't answer. He gives him a non-lethal flash thing to "discourage bullying."

We see that Tony knew exactly what was going on with Harley at school. Because that’s exactly what happened to him there. Harley reminded him of himself. Brilliant kid with no friends and practically no parents. He was bullied by 9th-12th graders.

If he had a nanny with him at the school, that probably made things even worse. He would be bullied because he has a nanny, and despite he has one to look after him.

In Part 2 we will discuss how all this affected him. Stay tuned.

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 23

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : MDNI, angst, tension, anxiety, mentions of car accident/reader in accident, aftermath of accident, trauma as a result of accident, memory loss, mentions of cheating, extreme guilt

It’s been a week since I got out of the hospital, and I wish I could say things were starting to make sense again, but they’re not. Physically, I got lucky. The only real injuries were a sprained wrist and some bruises, but mentally not so much. The memory loss feels like a black hole in my mind. It’s like I’ve been dropped into a version of my life that I don’t fully recognize, surrounded by people who feel more like strangers than anything else.

Alex has been around, sort of. He’s here in the way someone fulfills a duty they didn’t really sign up for. It's like he’s just going through the motions, and I feel it, how distant he is, how different everything feels between us. It’s weird because I don’t know why they’re like this, I don't remember if or when things changed. In my mind, everything was fine, but now.. everything about him feels off.

The first thing that confused me when I got home was why none of his things were in our apartment. I remember our place having his stuff scattered all over - his gym bag by the door, textbooks on the table, his clothes always draped over the back of the couch. But when I came back, it was almost like he didn’t live here. The absence was unsettling, like I was in someone else’s apartment instead of my own.

The memory loss is like living in a fog, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t break through it. Alex has been no help with trying to remember anything. He’s distant, dismissive, like being around me is more of an obligation than anything else. Hell he’s been no help with anything at all, trying to do things for myself, cooking, cleaning, even doing my hair is so hard, and I can’t help but feel that if the roles were reversed I’d be doing everything in my power to help him.

I feel lost in my own life, so I figure maybe it’s time to find some comfort elsewhere, someone who might actually have some answers.

I sit on the couch, my phone in hand, staring at the screen for what feels like forever. Who do I even reach out to when nothing feels familiar? After a while, one name keeps coming back to me. Nick. Our interaction at the hospital made me feel seen. I felt safe around him. I need someone who might actually care, someone who can help me piece together this fractured reality I’m living in.

I open up my messages and search for his name: Nick. There it is, our chat history. I can see the old texts, dozens of them, conversations that clearly meant something once. I can’t bring myself to read through them, though. The thought of diving into a version of me I can’t remember feels too overwhelming. What if I don’t like who I used to be? What if these texts reveal things I’m not ready to confront yet? My stomach twists with unease, but I shake it off.

Instead, I type out a quick message, simple and noncommittal.

"Hey Nick. Sorry for the text, but I was wondering if you’d want to hang out sometime? I’m trying to figure some stuff out, and maybe you could help me fill in some gaps."

I hit send before I can overthink it. Immediately, a wave of nerves crashes over me. What if he doesn’t reply? Or worse, what if he does, and it just makes everything even more confusing? But I need to do this. I need to try and get back some sense of who I was, even if it freaks me out a little.

I toss my phone onto the couch, not wanting to stare at it while I wait for a response. Maybe this will help. Maybe reconnecting with Nick can help me piece together parts of my life that feel like they’ve been erased.

Matt’s POV

The past week had been a blur of darkness. This is what I imagine hell to feel like. I hadn't left my bed, except to scavenge for food in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep. I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone seeing me like this, so I made sure to avoid everyone. When they knocked on my door, tried to offer comfort or check in on me, I told them to leave. I couldn’t handle it. It felt like I was grieving someone who was still alive, someone who didn’t even remember me.

I lay there, staring at the ceiling, replaying every moment of that night in my head. The headlights. The screeching tires. Her scream. The words I should’ve said but didn’t. They haunted me like a broken record, stuck on repeat, taunting me with the things I can never take back.

Then, there was a knock on the door.

“Go away” I muttered, barely above a whisper. I couldn’t handle another conversation, not now.

But the door opened anyway.

Nick stepped inside, his expression a mix of concern and frustration. "Matt, I’m coming in whether you like it or not."

I didn’t have the energy to fight him. I just stayed where I was, buried under the covers, as if they could shield me from everything I was feeling. Nick sat down at the edge of the bed, not saying anything at first, just looking at me like he didn’t know where to start.

After a minute, he broke the silence. “Y/n texted me.”

My heart clenched at the sound of her name. “What?”

“She asked me if I  wanted to hang out, maybe try to piece together some of her past. It’s so sad seeing her like this, like she doesn’t know anything. It’s like she’s starting over completely." Nick paused, running a hand through his hair. "And you know what's even weirder? Knowing that asshole Alex is still lurking around. I don’t get it, Matt. Why haven’t you reached out to her? She could use someone who actually cares about her."

I let out a bitter laugh. “I can’t, Nick. I’ll only hurt her. I’m the reason she’s like this in the first place.”

Nick’s brow furrowed, confused. “Why do you keep saying that? How the hell is this your fault? It was an accident Matt.”

I sat up slightly, leaning against the headboard, knowing I couldn’t avoid this conversation any longer. Nick deserved to know the truth. The weight of it all had been suffocating me, and maybe telling him would give me some kind of release, even if it didn’t take away the guilt.

“You don’t get it, Nick. You think I just liked Y/n, that it was some crush, but it went further than that. Way further. I loved her, I love her.” I took a deep breath, trying to steady my voice. “Since the night I met her we really clicked. We had this instant connection, like we just got each other. I started remembering the little things about her, like how she hated fish, or how she could be so quiet and then burst into laughter that filled a room. There was this one night, Emily asked me to get her purse from Y/n’s place, the night Alex got into the fight. I got there and when she opened the door, it was obvious she’d been crying, it killed me to see her like that, I thought about her the whole drive home so once I left Emily to the club I had to go back to her. So I brought her back here, we all ended up playing Mario Kart together, remember?"

Nick nodded but stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I can’t explain to you how much comfort I found around her. The feeling she’d give me inside. I would've kissed her that night, man. I would have. But then you came in, telling us about that fight Alex had. The moment was gone. Then Emily gave out to me for being around her so I had to cut her off, but the feelings for her always stayed. The night we were all on the beach after Topgolf, it was just the two of us walking, I loved just being by her side, it felt so freeing to just be in her presence again.I wanted to kiss her so badly that night too but then it was Chris and that stupid fucking jelly fish. I couldn’t get enough of her, she opened up to me that night about Alex, told me she’d given up skating to provide for Alex. Have you ever seen that girl on the ice? I mean she was training for the fucking Olympics of all things. I just wanted to see her happy. So the next night, I rented out the LA King’s Valley ice skating rink just for her.. God if you could’ve seen the way she lit up that night, to give her something that was hers. I kissed her that night. Hell, I’d spare you the rest of the details, but… yeah, it wasn’t just a crush. I cared about her more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. I wanted to protect her, to be there for her, but I couldn’t even do that right.”

I swallowed hard, the guilt rising like bile in my throat. "The night of Tara’s party she told me that Alex and Emily were cheating on us. I thought it was my way out, Nick. I thought I could finally leave Emily and be with Y/n, and I knew she’d leave Alex. But then.. one of Y/n’s earrings must’ve fallen out in my bed when she passed out in there. Emily found it before I could even confront her about Alex. She blackmailed me, man. Said if I left her, she'd ruin Y/n’s life. She'd tell Alex everything, make her life a living hell."

Nick’s face twisted with anger. “And you believed her?”

“I did. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m a coward, Nick. I should’ve walked away right then and there, but I didn’t. I went to that party with Emily, and I told Y/n that what we had was a mistake and that it was over.” My voice cracked. “She was devastated. I could see it in her eyes. I shattered her heart right there and then in that bathroom. And then.. she ran.  She ran into the street. I tried to get her off the road but I was too late. One of the last things I heard her say was that she loved me. I know she was about to say she thought I loved her too, but I cut her off. I told her to get off the road. And then…”

I couldn’t finish the sentence. My throat tightened, and I pressed my hands to my face, trying to block out the memory.

Nick sat there, stunned. “Matt..”

“It’s my fault” I whispered. “All of it. She was only on that road because I made her believe what we had wasn’t real. But it was, Nick. She’s the realest thing I’ve ever had.”

Nick was quiet for a long moment, and then he shifted closer, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Matt, I get why you’re blaming yourself, but you didn’t make that car hit her. You didn’t cause the accident. And as for Emily? Screw her. Y/n would want you to fight for her, not to hide away."

I shook my head. "I can't, Nick. She doesn't even remember me. She doesn’t remember any of it. I’ve lost her."

Nick’s grip tightened, his voice soft but firm. “Then remind her. Show her who you are. Don’t let Emily, or Alex, or anyone else take that away from you. You love her. That’s all that matters.”

I wanted to believe him, but the guilt was too heavy, too consuming.

a/n: i'm literally only capable of posting this rn bc i watched the 2023 tea party and it made me laugh

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel l @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy @witchofthehour @stvrnlover @alizestvrnss @beachbabe000 @pinkdyit

[withahappyrefrain]

⭐ 60 Fun Meet Cutes ⭐

1) A and B’s coffee orders are identical. Confusion (and promised calls) occur.

2) A always steals B’s parking spot and normally they wouldn't say anything but not today asshole!

3) A and B are seated next to each other at the singles table for a wedding.

4) B owns a bookshop and A really needs this book because their book club meeting is in two days.

5) A is a doctor/nurse treating B for an injury, but B won't stop flirting.

6) A pretends to be B’s significant other because they can tell that creep is bothering B.

7) They meet at the dog park and their dogs won't stop playing with one another.

8) They meet at the dog park and B’s dog won't stop following A’s!

9) They're both at a party and notice the other is sitting alone on the couch so we join.

10) They get volun-told to do a karaoke duet by their respective friend groups.

12) A and B’s families have been trying to set them up for years. They meet by accident.

13) A runs a stand at the local farmers market that B loves (the owner being cute and sweet is a major plus too).

14) They grab the same book at the library.

15) “You have the wrong number, but stay on!”

16) A and B have been set up on a blind date together. Neither one of them expect it to go well, given their mutual friend's track record.

17) A and B both want the last pack of cigarettes. It's not even for themselves, but they'll certainly argue about it.

18) "Hi, I'm pretty sure I saw you on a dating app and while I swiped right, you did not and wow you're beautiful in person."

19) A’s a tour guide for B, who is currently supervising a field trip of twenty seven year olds.

20) A is B’s least favorite author but they don't realize until halfway through their rant.

21) "Hey, my friend is into your friend. But they're too scared to make a move, can you help me get them together?"

22) They're at the grocery store and A can't reach the item on the top shelf, so B helps them.

23) “Hey, so I helped your grandparent cross the street and they insisted that I meet you, their grandchild.”

24) It's our high school reunion and I'm like eighty percent sure we were lab partners and you have no idea what I'm talking about.

25) A’s friends insisted on going to a strip club for a bachelor/bachelorette party and A is really enjoying their time talking to B, the hostess.

26) An unexpected torrential downpour happens and they end up taking shelter at the same place.

27) “I'm your neighbor and I swear to God, if you don't turn that music down-

28) They’re both PhD students and their dissertations contradict each other's and boy, are they going to have some intense eye contact about it.

29) B is A’s child's new teacher and their kid won't stop mentioning that their parent is single.

30 “I'm so sorry, but my friends won't stop bothering me until I get someone's number tonight, it doesn't have to be your real one, I'm just so tired of their shenanigans.”

31) A is the hot firefighter who visits B’s classroom to talk about safety.

32) A and B are paired up for a roller coaster and one of them needs to hold the other's hand to get through the ride.

33) “Look, your date may not want to dance with you, but I certainly will!”

34) They're both celebrities and their fans ship them so A and B do an interview together for our respective press tours.

35) They're both on the bus and A is reading the book B’s been wanting so badly and they gotta know if it's good or not because the waitlist at the library is ridiculous.

36) They're at an art museum and have wildly different interpretations of the same portrait.

37) It's been arranged by their families for A and B to marry as a peace treaty. When they meet for the first time, they see why their families fought so much!

38) "Do you mind if I sit here? There are no other seats available."

39) A doesn’t know why their friend's girlfriend invited me to their coworker's nephew's bar mitzvah but they have a stain from the chocolate fountain and B is an angel with their Tide to go stick.

40) “If you don't fix your collar/tie/hat, I will do it myself!”

41) “The food in your grocery store cart looks so good, what are you making?x

42) A sees B at the Renaissance Fair and is determined to give B a rose.

43) They're both at the eye doctor and can't figure out which glasses to buy.

44) They end up sitting next to each other in a movie theater during a horror movie, and cling to each other for moral support

45) A owns a flower shop andBl B just needs the courage to go inside and say hello.

46) B’s dog somehow got out and A find it. Yes, it's late at night but from B’s voice over the phone, A knows they need to return this dog STAT.

47) A has always signed up to bring the dessert for their work's potluck. Who does B think they are taking their slot?

48) A’s friends signed them up for a dating app and set them up on a date with B without A’s knowledge.

49) B’s running an adoption event and A doesn’t even like animals but my God, is B so damn cute with them.

50) They're spies who have to pretend to be a couple for an assignment.

51) They’re professors who teach the same course but disagree over teaching methods.

52) A is B’s friend's asshole boss and B is just trying to drop off C’s lunch without strangling A.

53) A’s a witch who run a shop. B barges in, asking about the best curse to give someone (without killing them of course).

54) A is a hairdresser at a fancy salon and B shouldn't be spending $150 on a haircut but they need to talk to A.

55) A is a personal trainer and B is their my client and A knows they need to keep it professional but it's really hard!

56) A is the photographer and B’s the caterer for the worst wedding ever.

57) It's the county Fair and A has lost their niece/nephew, so they ask B for help.

58) A is having a horrendous case of writer’s block, B works at the cafe A has been staying at for the past few days and is very concerned.

59) Hades and Persephone AU bc why not

60) A is a tattoo artist and it's B's first time getting a tattoo.

[im-out-of-it]

making a complete list of my thoughts of the show vs books since I finished it and will probably leave some stuff out since I’m super forgetful, sorry 💀

1. once again love that they upped the ages. glad we didn’t have centuries year old Magnus chasing teenager Alec or all the other inappropriate relationships in the books

2. Malec is fucking perfect on the show and it really showed that if any actually cares about them, they can make the characters much better and give the characters a better shot than the author ever did. I seriously love all the details Matt, Harry, and whoever wrote their episodes did. only one I cannot stand is when Alec doesn’t realize right away that Magnus and valentine switched bodies. but alec handled the immortality thing wayyyyyy better than book Alec ever could. book Alec (and pretty much TMI content and etc) barely exists let’s be real

3. Izzy and Simon are way too rushed in the series but at least they have more do a friendship and there’s no cheating storyline. but I kinda like Maia and Simon together. I feel that Maia understood Simon.

adding: I don’t mind Simon and clary in the show dating and the way they end things is not as harsh as it is in the books. maybe clary (I’m being kind lmao) actually cares about Simon in the show but still kinda uses him at times

4. might be the only thing I’ll say about the books that’s nice but it would’ve been cute to see the vacation storyline (eldest curses) in the show. would’ve been cute to see a Malec holiday and moving towards them having children 🥹

5. Maia doesn’t get enough credit. she’s one of the few sensible people on the show and gets more attention than book Maia ever did

6. speaking of Maia, I’m glad they didn’t go too extreme with the Jordan plot. in the books, I think she was made to feel to get over how Jordan treated her. but man, why does the actor have to be attractive 😭

7. I really like Maryse and Luke together. they fit each other quite well. Maryse has some of the best development in the show and I loved seeing her grow

8. glad Jocelyn was killed off. she was more insufferable in the books so glad the show decided they didn’t need that energy

9. Jace and clary are both clearly insufferable but it’s worse in the books. I feel like in the show they’re still pretty bad but it’s a little tamed

10. Alec deserved better than jace. dude had the audacity to act as though Alec is a fling, expected Alec at his beck and call to do whatever he wanted while not understanding or caring about Alec’s feelings and his needs, practically invites himself at Magnus’s place while being the worst roommate, and then taking for granted all the people who sacrificed (MAGNUS AND HIS MAGIC LITERALLY THIS LOVELY MAN LOSES HIS MAGIC AND HIS HOME AND HIS MIND) once again to help his worthless ass

11. wish they wouldn’t have killed ragnor off. we got to see a lot of vampires and wolves but not a lot of warlocks. would’ve been great to see more of Magnus’s friends. you could seriously make a whole show based off on Magnus and his life

12. kinda wish they kept camille around. I know she was drama for malec in the beginning but she’s still a very fascinating character

13. I’m 100% thankful for the show not following the books and creating their own world

14. I would’ve loved to see more of the alternate universe episodes. one of the best episodes

15. ALL THE MALEC PARALLELS. these two beautiful and desperately, devoted, in love with one another men are seriously the best part of the show 😭 the fact that there are no cheating stories (when Alec is all drunk, underhill is flirting and all Alec can talk about is Magnus. Magnus defies bisexual stereotypes when dot tries to kiss him.), no taking away immortality or throwing fits or bierasure, or any toxic storylines is one of my fav things about Malec. they’re just two beings who are so in love with one another, who communicate, and are just completely devoted to each other. and it’s one of the reasons why everyone was so hooked on Malec. they’re healthy but you’re also excitedly rooting for them 🫶🏼

16. Clary deserved to lose her ability with runes. the angels message was to not use her rune ability for whatever she pleased but she took advantage of it. but I will say, some helped but I feel that the rest she just used because she didn’t care

17. season three breakup wrecked me and I’ll not emotionally recover from that. it breaks my heart seeing Alec break his own heart and Magnus’s all so Magnus can have his magic and be whole again. I’m so glad they got married in the end 💓

18. I’m glad the twinning rune went to clary instead of jace because how many times does this worthless fucker need saved????? SERIOUSLY HOW MANY

19. I think Magnus recognizing what Alec needs at the beginning when they meet is beautiful. I don’t think it’s creepy (as some book fans state.) and it shows that Magnus understands that Alec is not ready to be out. I’m glad Magnus doesn’t get shitty with Alec on not being out like he does in the books

20. also book vs show thing. I actually like the whole marrying Lydia plot. I get the whole grand gesture of kissing in wherever they were- sanctuary???? (y’all cannot pay me enough to read TMI again, I will not go through that torture again) but I really hate that it’s not even in Alec or Magnus’s pov. CC makes a point of giving characters she chooses to have unnecessary pov

21. I probably forgot something but I mainly skipped all the clace content that didn’t involve Alec or Magnus but otherwise, messy show but so amazing for the Malec content. Izzy, Maia, Raphael, and Simon are a bonus as well. I’m just saying that the show could’ve been a whole lot worse lmao

[theapangea]

Night Out

Chapter: Boys Night Out Pt.1

Pairing/Characters: Steve Harrington x Reader, Dustin, Mike, Lucas

Summary: You and Steve have been dancing around each other for sometime now, neither of you wanting to make the first move. All your friends decide it is finally time for you both to confess your feelings.

A/N: This is just fluff stuff so a little different from what I've been posting for you little pervs lately... you know who I'm talking too lol. Ok so this series is based on those tv episodes that like everything is happening all at the same time but split into two episodes. I just love Steve in this and everyone pushing you two to be together!! Let me know what you think!!

*Also posted on AO3: Theapangea*

Part 2 | Part 3

“What about Y/N?” Dustin says out of the blue. The question was not posed to or at anyone, but definitely directed at the only boy old enough to date you.

“What about Y/N?” Steve is the first to answer, the words hanging from his lips. The room is instantly silent again as the three younger boys look between each other, quietly discussing who will speak first. Steve clearly still dumbfounded watching their interaction. 

Dustin begins to explain, this time in a more hush tone than before, not sure how Steve would take the answer, “You know…to get you out of this slump?” 

“What slump?” Steve refutes, deflecting the answer he already knows. He has been in a girl slump for sometime, no luck with Nancy or Robin or any other girl that would look his way. The only girl he hasn't tried to hit on in Hawkins is you. He wasn’t sure why. You were pretty and funny and smart but for some reason Steve couldn’t get the courage to actually ask you out. Plus you were best friends with his ex-girlfriend which didn’t help his situation. 

“We all see it, dude.” Mike added before tossing a cheese ball into the air to catch with his mouth. He misses by a mile, quickly grabbing another one to try again. Another miss.

“I don’t even know what you are talking about.” Steve leans back, propping his feet onto the coffee table. 

“We all see that you like her.” Lucas chimes in nonchalantly while flipping through the pages of a comic book.

“I do not .” Steve quickly protests. Crossing his arms, trying to deflect any proposed suspicion

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Dustin whispers as he throws a cheese ball at Steve’s head. Steve tries to swat it away but it hits his cheek leaving a small mark of cheese crumble. 

“You seriously just need to ask her out already.” Lucas urged Steve. Their eyes meeting for a brief moment before Steve adverts to look at the ceiling. 

“Steve, let me give you some advice from one man to another.” Dustin begins, moving forward on the couch, “Women want a man who is going to make the first move.”

“I can’t believe you just said that to me right now,” Steve confesses, a hand wiping the embarrassment from his face. 

“He’s right,” Mike agrees, still trying to catch the ball of cheese in his mouth. Another miss.

“Have any of you actually hit puberty yet?” Steve looks at the oblivious bunch. “I can’t believe I’m hanging out with a bunch of 12-year-olds.” He huffs, slumping lower into the seat.

“We’re 14 actually.” Dustin points out.

Steve lets out another huff, “Doesn’t make it any better, Henderson.” 

“We’re right though. You need to just ask her.” Lucas repeats, this time a little more demanding. 

Steve hesitates, “Okay, say that I did like someone…but she’s friends with your ex. It’s not necessarily the best situation.” 

“Who cares?” Mike declares with the other two boys in agreement. 

“ Women . Women care.” Steve retaliates, “Women care about that kind of stuff.”

“Look, the worst thing that she is going to say no.” Mike adds, finally catching the cheese ball in his mouth, his hands shooting up in triumph.

“Yeah, you’ve gone through enough rejection that it shouldn't hurt.” Dustin teases, the cocky smile plastered on his face.

“Thank you, Dustin.” Steve tries to shake off the comment.

Dustin’s eyes widened as he gets the bright idea, “You should call her now .” 

“Yeah, go call her.” Lucas agrees, putting the comic book down on the table, gesturing towards the phone. 

“I don’t know.” Steve leans forward in the old chair, the creaking shooting through the basement.

The uproar of encouragement quickly fills the room. All three boys are trying to convince Steve that he needs to confess his feelings for you. It was overwhelming to say the least. Steve really didn’t know what to do. Does he listen to them or does he just not do anything? Maybe it was time for Steve to tell you how he feels even if it does make things awkward between you and Nancy.

He must have been in his thoughts for too long as he sees Dustin crossing the room, picking up the phone, and dialing the number. Steve frantically getting up to grab the phone before someone answers. 

“Yeah. Hi I was wondering if Y/N was home?...ok…ok…yeah I will call them then…thank you…goodnight.” The conversation ends as soon as it begins. 

“She’s not home.” He lightly bangs his head against the wall. Dustin gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, not sure what to say. 

Was this a loss? What would he even say to you if you actually picked up? He never got the feeling that you liked him. You were normally cold towards him, rarely laughing at his hilarious jokes and always the first to put him on babysitting duty. He hated that you got under his skin, he hated that he didn’t know who you actually were. Hated that he never tried to know. Silently cursing to himself how much of an idiot he has been all these years.

“Damn.” Mike trails off, wiping the snack crumbs from his face, “We should go find her.”

“We are not going to go find her,” Steve injects before anyone else, clearly unamused by Mike's idea. 

“Why not?” Dustin pleads, tugging lightly on Steve's sleeve. 

“It’s stupid." He turns toward the young boy at his side, "This isn’t some movie. What if she doesn’t even like me?” Steve tries to explain the situation at hand as simply as possible. His feelings for you were complicated, never understanding how he felt towards you and never taking the time to realize that he actually really did like you in more ways that a friend would.

“Max says that she likes you.” Steve’s ears perk up at Lucas’ comment as he shoves a handful of cheese balls into his mouth.

Rushing over quickly to Lucas side, kneeling down beside the couch, “How does Max know that?”

“Well Max said that Robin said that she and Nancy talk about you and it seems that she likes you.” Lucas explains between chewing, every other word slightly muffled by the food.

“Dude you’re in.” Dustin beams, the look of joy washes over his face. 

Maybe you do really like Steve. Maybe Dustin, Mike, and Lucas were right and he just needed to finally ask you out. But when? He had the confidence to do it now but you were nowhere to be found. What if by tomorrow he is not able to gather the courage? What if you find someone else by then? 

Steve pushes himself onto the sofa, head in his hands, trying to make sense of this situation. "We don’t even know where she is.” 

“Well, Hawkins is pretty small. There isn’t much ground to cover.” Dustin explains, reaching for his jacket. The other boys following suit, standing, wait for Steve to make the final decision. Dustin dangling his car keys out in front of Steve's face.

“Fine.” Steve rises while chuckling at their enthusiasm, snatching the keys before leading the group out of the basement into the night. 

~~~

I'll be posting Part 2 tomorrow probably (don't hold me to this deadline)

Tell me what you think as I NEED validation!! love you!

[cheesecakeislazy]

Hey, I hope you have a nice day. I also hope you enjoy MORE FUCKIN HEADCANONS WOOOOOOO

Sally Headcanons

1. While yes, Sally loves the color pink, it isn’t actually her favorite color. She doesn’t have one. She loves blue, green, purple, all colors.

2. The only color Sally dislikes is orange, due to this, she hates oranges and tangerines

3. Sally has the body of a 7-10 year old, yet she is mentally older.

4. Despite the fact Sally is mentally 16, she still has childlike characteristics within her mindscape

5. Sally has a hard time trusting adult men; females and younger males are more trustworthy to Sally

6. Mr. D (Sally’s teddy bear) is a normal teddy bear

7. Every single person inside the mansion has seen Mr. D move on his own; nobody knows how or why as Slender has confirmed it has no supernatural tendencies within it

8. Sally likes to watch Bluey

9. Sally likes to hang out with BeN, Jeff, and Toby; viewing all three of them as older brothers

10. Jeff and Sally hang out the most

11. Sally used to have a little kid crush on Ben; Sally no longer views BeN that way because she thinks that dating is gross

12. Sally is AroAce in my AU, because despite physically being 7, she’s mentally around 16

13. Sally constantly asks Slender for a puppy

14. Sally hates wearing socks

15. Sally also hates wearing shoes of any kind

16. Sally doesn’t leave footprints anywhere, not in snow, mud, anything.

17. When Sally has tantrums Jeff calls them her “poltergeist attacks”

18. When upset, Sally can make objects levitate.

19. Sally usually throws the objects she levitates, due to the fact the objects are usually plates, vases, cups, and Toby- Damage is always present after a Sally tantrum

20. Sally cannot levitate objects on command.

21. Sally calls Slender “Mr. Slenderman”

22. Sally gave Slender a white mug that had “#1 Mr.Slenderdad” written with black sharpie on it

23. Sally isn’t an innocent little girl, she also loves to commit war crimes

24. Sally usually kills creeps, molesters, perverts, etc.

25. Sally has constant bruises and cuts on her from her death

26. The wound on Sally’s head eternally bleeds forever, it’s annoying but she’s gotten used to it

27. Slender puts bandages around her head to somewhat stop the bleeding

28. Sally and Jane argue a lot

29. Jeff managed to convince Sally that Jane is a bitch

30. Sally is a Princess Peach main in MarioKart

31. Sally is one of the few people that Ben likes to play board games with because she doesn’t destroy the game board/pieces

32. Sally likes to play house and dress up

33. Sally serves real tea and desserts at her tea parties

34. Sally doesn’t really know how to defend herself, so she can’t go on intense missions or go on missions alone

35. Sally is 4’5

36. Sally needs to be babysat whenever a majority of the mansion is on an expedition

37. Babysitting duty is rotated around the mansion

38. Jane hates babysitting duty because Sally never listens to her

39. Jeff is rarely on it but when he is, he loves it

40. Most of the proxies see Sally extremely often but don’t really know her

41. If given the chance, Sally will cling onto Slenderman all day

42. Sally loves Ben’s brownies (the not weed ones)

43. Sally loves chocolate chip cookies

44. Sally and Lulu are decent friends

45. Sally and Lazari have play dates together

46. Sally and Lazari share a room in the mansion

47. Sally and Smile dog have a complicated relationship

48. Sally loves Smile Dog because he’s a dog and constantly tries to play with him

49. Smile dog.. is an intelligent dog that usually wants to be left alone; he doesn’t hate Sally he just finds her a lot to deal with

50. Sally used to be really bad at painting nails, now she’s actually quite good at it due to BEN teaching her

51. Sally likes to draw and finger paint

52. Sally’s art skills are the same of a preschooler (aka fucking awesome)

53. Sally has a bad habit of randomly falling asleep; Slenders arms, Slenders tentacles, tea parties, while standing up, taking a bath, etc.

54. Sally likes fruit punch and grape juice

55. Sally likes to say Fuck (Jeff taught her)

[mr-laveau]

Hello Laveau! I figured instead of sending a bunch of separate asks like I did before, I’ll just ask a bunch in one big ask :]

1. How did Alonzo react to the fact Uriah and Sherlock were married?

2. What is everyone’s kill count?

3. How long have Uriah and Sherlock known each other?

4. Why did Uriah turn them? (What situation were they in that Uriah felt like they needed to turn Sherlock? What happened with Sherlock?)

5. Why doesn’t Sherlock want Uriah to call them Sherlock?

6. Why is the art so scrumptious?

7. How do you pick the color palettes?

8. HOW ARE YOU SO UNDERRATED????

9. Are we gonna see more of Zachary?

10. Is Zachary Hispanic?

11. How years old is Zachary?

12. Since Uriahs tag is A4A, does that mean she uses any pronouns? Apologies if that is not the case

13. Are/Can D(a)emons be abnormally tall? Like 7ft or taller? Or just normal tall and short people hight?

14. Why are they so pretty? (No one in particular, just your characters as a group)

15. So Seaweed Brains and Percy aren’t dating/together? Not even a little bit?

16. Have they ever been together?

17. So Seaweed brains has a boyfriend named Amun, (I have no idea if that’s really his name or how you spell it)right?

18. Does Amun know about Percy?

19. Can Percy go on land and magically have legs or would he would have to pull an Ariel?

20. If Percy can’t go on land how did Seaweed Brains meet him?

21. How did Khaleed go blind? Or was he born blind?

22. How does he navigate?

23. Does the glam thing work like an illusion? (I’m guessing it is an illusion since he was an illusionist)

24. How did Khaleed, Joseph and Rascal meet? Did two of them meet separately and then meet the other? Or all three of them meet each other at the same time? I know Joesph talks about how he met Rascal briefly but I wanna know more!!

25. In the “listening to an Energetic Radio-Host” video, Imari mentioned a Popstar (Darius?) and his rival. Are they potentially gonna be new characters?

26. Are we ever gonna meet Zee’s partner? (If we are, are they gonna be a speaker or listener?)

27. Who’s your favorite to voice?

28. Who’s your favorite to make lore about? (Character or/and listener)

29. Who you’re favorite in general? (Character and/or listener)

30. Is Aidan’s daughter ever gonna make an appearance in a video?

31. Are we ever gonna get the full story of how Sherlock asked out Alonzo at a crime scene?

32. Are we gonna get a video of Uriahs cookout thing?

Jeez. That was longer than I expected, my bad. Idk if this it better or worse than sending a bunch of different ask. Umm, yeah… have a good rest of you day/night!!! :D

-🐀

Heyo! this was a good bit of questions and I was not feeling to type them all out so I did the more fun option and I've decided to read and answer them. This wouldn't be as clean as my usual audios but hope you enjoy! I loved answering all these but in the future tho, it'd probably be best to send asks with a handful of questions. Regardless, have fun!

[aemiron-main]

I dont mean to be rude, but why are you so against Henry being George? in the audition tapes "Betty" that you admit is probably patty, is seen interacting with George the whole time, in his tape, he only interacts with her too, and in the promo shots Louis is always with Ella, so what would be your explanation for that? I know we will know everything in exactly one month but I always see you saying that and it's been bothering me, im just really curious, could you explain?

Hey there, anon! No worries about being rude at all, I’m more than happy to explain and clarify! <3

So, it’s not really a matter of me being “against” Henry being George- it’s simply a matter of me thinking that the evidence doesn’t fully support him being George. It’s like. I’m not *against* the idea that dragons exist and are secretly living underground in cool dragon cities- hell, I’d love that! But I don’t see the evidence to support said underground dragons, and the same applies for George being Henry.

So, I’ve talked in a bunch of posts about why I don’t think that George is Henry, but I’m going to summarize the main reasons right here for you:

1.) The Ages

This collider article talked about TFS leaks & the fact that Patty had romantic feelings for George:

And that article describes both Patty and George as being at least 14 years old.

And when we look at the audition tapes, we can see that Patty is at least 15 years old, because she mentions that the confession booth has been her hiding place for the past 15 years:

However, Henry Creel is canonically 12 years old:

And even if you don’t think that the newspapers are reliable/somehow think that’s a production error, THIS is not a 15 year old boy- even his actor was 12 at the time:

So, this means that in order for Henry to be George, they’re either a.) going to do a romance between a 15+ year old girl and a 12 year old boy, which would be like S1 Nancy dating S1 Dustin for context & I think that’s extremely unlikely or b.) they’re retconning Henry’s canon age in the play/ignoring canon, which makes absolutely no sense and is extremely unlikely because the play has been confirmed repeatedly to be canon:

So, unless they REALLY pull some timeline weirdness with Henry’s age, there’s not really any possible way for him to be George AND for the play to be canon- unless they have a 15+ year old dating a 12 year old, which I really don’t think they’ll do.

2.) The Personality

George is absolutely nothing like Henry personality- wise. Based on what we see in the audition tapes, George is snarky and opinionated, whereas Henry, as a child, is shy and silent.

George is a loner, much like Henry, but that also fits with Allen Munson (who we’ll come back to later), and being a loner also applies to characters like Hopper, and even Bob- being a loner isn’t something unique to Henry. Hell, even being a “pale, moody, new kid loner,” like the description from that Collider article isn’t unique to Henry. That could apply to both Allen and Lonnie.

George snarks about Betty being “prom queen,” and dramatically tells her “that’s your cue”- you have to watch the audition tapes to see/hear what I mean, but the way he speaks and the way his lines are written is such a far cry from Henry- hell, Henry doesn’t even talk that way/his dialogue isnt written that way when he’s giving a dramatic monologue in the show in 1979- and Henry as a child is silent every time we see him and doesn’t have any of the same mannerisms as George.

3.) The “Powers”

Something that people love to cite as evidence that George is Henry is the idea that George has powers based on some of his scenes in the auditions. However, those scenes are actually great evidence that George isn’t Henry, because when you watch those scenes, the way George describes what’s going on is polar opposite to the way Henry describes his powers & the way we see Henry’s powers working.

George, for example, talks about hearing voices in his head telling him to do bad things/hurt people- something that Henry never mentions, not even during his 1979 monologue. George also seems to be afraid of his supposed powers, whereas Henry seems to see them as something natural/as a tool/as part of him realizing that it was other people who were broken, not him.

I actually think that the voices that George is hearing are the result of that weird radio broadcast that’s supposedly killing people that’s mentioned in TFS. And I think that his experience with Patty/seemingly seeing eachother in the void/teleporting/whatever that was is far more likely to be tied to Patty having powers, especially with all of Patty’s El parallels (the scenes where Patty talks about her mother), and with how frequently articles about TFS talk about how important Patty is going to be to the plot:

So, again, it’s not a matter of “oh I really HATE the idea of Henry being George, so I’m going to pretend it’s not true even though it is,” it’s instead a matter of “if Henry is George, I’m fine with it, I’m just really not convinced that he Is George & am somewhat frustrated by people acting like it’s confirmed that he’s George when it’s not confirmed at all and when there’s multiple aspects of George that don’t align with Henry & contradict Henry’s canon lore such as the age stuff”

Also, I’ve never denied that Patty and Henry are going to have scenes together- I figured they’d have scenes together even before the audition tapes, because they have that parallel at the Crele house window vs the church window in the TFS animated teaser trailer! And Louis and Ella being together isn’t really something that I need to explain, because I’ve literally never denied that Henry and Patty are going to have scenes together & all of my analysis re: Henry and George and Patty has been done with the assumption that Henry and Patty are going to interact frequently regardless of who George is. Now, like I talked about in this post, regardless of whether Henry is George or not, I don’t think that Henry and Patty are going to be a romantic couple. My thing is that I simply don’t agree that it’s firm/clear-cut that Henry is George. Me not agreeing that Henry is George doesn’t mean that I think that Henry and Patty won’t interact- it simply means that I don’t think that the George that we saw in the leaked audition takes is Henry/I don’t think that George was the code name for Henry.

And to more specifically answer your question about the connection between George and Patty’s interacting mostly with eachother in the audition tapes vs Henry and Patty being put together in promo stuff:

First of all, the reason why Patty and George seem to “only” interact with eachother in the audition is because the scenes chosen for the audition happen to be with eachother- both of their auditions read the same two scenes, just different sides of it.

So, Patty could have 500 scenes with other characters and those two scenes could be the ONLY scenes she has with George in the whole play (I’m not saying that’s the truth, but just as a hyperbolic example), and we would have no idea because we’re only seeing the tiny tiny snippet scenes that were used for auditions.

Second of all, like I said earlier, Patty and Henry interacting frequently in the play is not news to me.

Like, I just don’t really see the firm link between the auditions and the promo stuff/I don’t see how that points to Henry being George. Patty and George interacting frequently and Patty and Henry interacting frequently doesn’t mean that Henry is George. It just means that Patty (as we know) is a core character who’s going to be interacting frequently with multiple characters.

Third of all, regardless of how often they put Patty and Henry together in promo stuff, and regardless of how often George and Patty interact in the audition tapes, that still doesn’t change all of the issues that don’t align with George being Henry (all of the stuff that I mentioned earlier), especially since the play has repeatedly been confirmed to be canon material & the Duffers have even been talking with the TFS team while writing S5 & making the TFS team change things so that everything aligns lore-wise:

So, all of the evidence that points to Henry not being George isn’t something that can just be overlooked because it’s a separate play/they aren’t just taking creative liberties with ages etc because it’s all canon & they’re working hard to make sure that it all lines up lore-wise with the show. And lore-wise, Henry is 12, which doesn’t line up with Patty’s age (based on her comments in the audition about how long she’s been hiding in the confession booth throughout her life), and also doesn’t align with George talking about prom and prom queen etc.

Hopefully this answers your questions, anon! :DD

It’s not a matter of me not wanting Henry to be George- it’s simply a matter of me not believing that he is George. I’m far more inclined to believe that Allen Munson is George, especially since the auditions didn’t use codenames for characters who aren’t brand-new characters (such as Hopper, his audition didn’t have a codename), so it wouldn’t make sense for them to use a code name for Henry. But it WOULD make sense for them to use a code name for Allen Munson, because he’s technically a new character, just like Patty.

If I seem particularly annoyed about the whole thing/about Henry supposedly being George, it’s not actually because I despise the idea- I’m annoyed a.) because the evidence doesnt support it and b.) because people are acting like it’s confirmed canon that Henry is George & trying to dunk on me for being wrong about him not being George when the reality is that it’s not confirmed whatsoever. The casting announcements didn’t give us ANY new information about who George was- all the casting did was tell us that Henry was going to be in the play- something we already knew! None of the code names have been revealed. There’s nothing in the casting that proves that George is Henry, and yet, for some reason, people are acting like it’s confirmed, which is where i get frustrated. I’m not even frustrated that people disagree with me, just frustrated that they’re acting like it’s concrete confirmed canon when it’s absolutely not.

Anyway, thank you again, anon! :DD If I seemed annoyed with you at all, I’m not, that’s just how i talk/I’m slightly frustrated with Other People acting like it’s 100000% confirmed that Henry is George.

[dari-ede]

In the Middle of the Night: Chapter 25

Chapter 25: "어둠 내린 바다의 등대가"

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

AN: And it’s back! Thank you everyone for your patience. It’s been quite the 2 months. Hopefully, I’ll be able to come back to a regular weekly, or at least Bi-weekly, posting. Happy reading! 🥰

Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.

Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut

Rating: M (mention of sexual assault, explicit language, sexual scenes in prior chapters)

Status: COMPLETE

Warnings/spoilers: Therapy

*******

“Sorry,” I said, wiping the tears that were coming down.

Walking through Dr. Rob’s door, I had the greatest confidence, but once I had sat down that confidence wavered. And when he had asked a total of one question and then my eyes turned into floodgates.

“How are you doing?” That had been the question. Such a simple one, but the answer wasn't. I was a mess.

I knew that I was going to end up crying sometime during our session, but I didn’t think it would be this early on.

Dr. Rob was quiet for a moment, allowing me to get through my emotions.

I apologized again once I settled.

“You slipped back,” he said, his eyes bore on me.

I stared back, feeling like he could see right into my pain. Dr. Rob had always been intuitive and read me well.

“I thought we kicked the habit of you apologizing for your emotions two years ago,” he said with observant eyes. “Took a lot of hard work.”

He was right. It was something I had worked hard on. I didn’t cry often, much less around other people. It was an automatic response: apologizing for my emotions. During my very first session with Dr. Rob years ago, I shed a few tears and I said those words to him. It became our first lesson: not apologizing for emotions. I was entitled to feel what I felt without judgment and apologies.

 “I shouldn’t have stopped seeing you, huh?” I asked, voicing the disappointment I had in myself.

“You’re here now, that’s what’s important,” he pointed out, his voice softer. “I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty.”

I felt embarrassed about my tears and wiped them off. But right as I did it, I saw how silly it was to feel embarrassed. I had cried enough times in front of Dr. Rob; there was no reason why I should feel embarrassed by it. “You’re right, though. Old shit is coming up again. And affecting me in new ways. I don't know what's happening.”

He nodded, not saying a word. He was letting me lead the conversation however I wanted. At least for the time being.

I was quiet for a moment, thinking what the best way to beat around the bush was. “I started dating my best friend.”

Dr. Rob showed no reaction, his eyes focused fully on me.

I continued to give a quick summary of Namjoon and me getting together some months back. Said how we both agreed in taking things slow, but in the last month or so things had been picking up quickly. I talked about the night of our breakup: us having sex, me getting a late call from my mother that lead to a fight, which then lead to Namjoon and my breakup.

“He said he needs someone who’s more open. And someone who doesn’t give it up so easily. Those were his words. He needs someone he can respect.” I did my best to keep my voice steady. It was difficult to as his voice saying those words echoed in my head.

Dr. Rob frowned and leaned forward. “Do you think he meant he doesn’t respect you?”

I gave a slight shrug. “That’s what it sounded like.”

“What did he say exactly? What were the words he used?”

“He said he couldn’t be in a relationship where it was just about sex. He wants more. And that he couldn’t go back to being friends. He respects himself too much.” I was amazed at how I was able to let out the words without my voice shaking. It was stable and tears were coming down, but my voice stayed stable.

Dr. Rob looked at me quietly for a long moment, thinking. It took a good while before he spoke up. “Do you agree with him that it was just about sex?”

I paused for a moment and thought, as Dr. Rob had taught me to do a long time ago. I tended to speak before thinking. It was something I worked on during our past sessions. I thought back to the three months Namjoon and I had been together. We spent so much time with each other. Much of it was laughing and hanging out in different settings—dinner, museums, hiking. There had been some deep, meaningful conversations in between, but maybe not as many as we had when we were exclusively friends. In the last month of our relationship, sex did seem to be what we did often. “I can see how he saw it that way. In the last couple of weeks, we hardly left his room or mine. But it wasn’t always like that. We did more than just sex.”

“Why does it hurt so much when he said to you that you ‘gave it up easily’?” Dr. Rob asked.

I thought back to the many emotions that had been running through me. About the words and how they affected me. “I didn't think my sexual appetite was a problem. It’s not like I’ve had many sexual partners. I’m in my 30s and I can count on two hands how many guys I’ve slept with. But, with his words…I don’t know. Maybe I have been with too many guys? Maybe I am too sexual? Maybe I need to change my mindset on sex? Maybe…maybe I’m not over the assault and I’m using sex as a weapon? I don’t know.” I let out some of the many thoughts that had gone through my brain the last few nights.

Dr. Rob seemed to be in deep thought. It was almost like he had dozens of questions he had, but trying to decide which was the best one to ask first. “Being with him, did you ever think about the man who assaulted you?”

“Not while we were having sex. He would come up in my head at random times, especially since I've come back to LA.”

“Why do you think you’re thinking more of him since you came back?” he asked curiously.

My mother immediately came to mind. I told Dr. Rob about Thanksgiving and about my outburst confession regarding my assault. Then I explained in more detail what the fight between my mother and me over the phone was about.

“Do you think I’m not over my assault and it's somehow blocking me from Namjoon?” I asked straight up.

“Well, I don’t think you’ll ever be over your assault. That’s a journey that’ll always stay with you. You will hopefully move on from it. And then it might rise later in life and manifest into something else. Only time and life will tell. Do you think you’re over it? That it’s blocking you from Namjoon?”

I thought for a moment, remembering the year before Namjoon and I had gotten together. I had a brief sexual relationship with a guy in Seoul. It was nothing too serious—I never came to love him, but I was with him for several months. “I think it helped that I had another sexual partner before Namjoon. The assault definitely caused me to be physically closed off. Being with that other guy helped me regain my comfort in my own skin. Getting to the point of being ok with a guy touching me took a while.”

I remembered how broken I had been when I first visited Dr. Rob. I felt like my skin wasn’t mine. Jerry and I had only had sex a few times due to my inability to be ok with his touch. I had never told Jerry about the assault either, yet I don’t believe that it contributed to our breakup. It did, however, contribute to my lack of sexual appetite and self-esteem.

“I imagine if Namjoon had been my first partner after the fucker, things wouldn’t have gone so smoothly between us as far as sex goes,” I admitted after mulling it over. 

“Before the night of the breakup, how were things in the bedroom between the two of you?”

“Great. We were quick to get in tune with one another. I thought it was going to take longer or things would get a bit awkward, but they never really did.”

“You always felt comfortable telling him your sexual needs? Did you ask him openly about his limits and wants?”

I nodded. “He always asks for my consent in everything we do—whether it's verbally or stopping and waiting until I give him a clear nod or clear vocal confirmation. There were a handful of times when we would be eating and I would ask him his preferences and where his line was. I asked when we were alone and sex was not about to take place. We made sure to have these talks when we were clear of mind.”

Dr. Rob nodded. “So, you had discussed anal sex ahead of time?”

I nodded. It felt much easier to talk about sex with someone other than my Tia Jia. “Namjoon doesn’t believe in safe words—to him a ‘no’ or ‘stop’ is more than enough.”

“Did you ever use the safe words—or rather, say ‘no’ or ‘stop’?”

It took a moment to think back. I wanted to be fully honest. “I don’t believe so.”

“Nothing with him felt like it was going over the line?”

I shook my head.

“What about him? Did he ever stop himself or you during an act?”

“Only when he thought I felt uncomfortable or wanted confirmation before he continued. Namjoon tends to be more hesitant, so I usually had him lead. I personally wouldn’t mind pushing the line a little more.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“We’re still so new. I have a few kinks and didn’t want to scare him off so quickly,” I said with a slight, nervous chuckle.

However, Dr. Rob didn’t find this to be a joke. “Do you fear your sexual preferences will scare him off?”

I shook my head instantly. “No! I was joking. My kinks aren’t that extreme. What I meant was that I wanted to ease into it and pace our relationship. Isn’t that how a relationship works? You slowly get to know each other and ease into one another’s lives?”

Dr. Rob simply looked at me, a slight frown deepening. He looked away and seemed to think about something.

I was confused by this look. “What?” I asked.

"You've been friends for so long. You considered him your best friend for close to two years when you got together. Don't you think that the pacing between the two of you wouldn't fall under 'normal' pacing?"

"Being a couple and being friends are two very different things," I countered. "How you are with your boyfriend isn't how you would be with your best friend. They're vastly different."

Dr. Rob was quiet for a while, pondering and thinking. I didn't want to push him, knowing how he worked. He usually asked a lot of questions first to get a feel of things and then he hit me with the jugular. After a long moment, he asked another question. “How do you guys get along? What’s the mood like when you guys hang out together?”

I wish I could go into Dr. Rob's mind and see what he was thinking. But I knew I had to wait. I hated waiting.

*****

Hours later, I was walking into my home feeling completely exhausted.

“Hi, sweetheart.” My Tia Jia greeted me and pulled me into a warm embrace.

She had informed me she was going to be coming over. Yoongi had finally decided to go out with his staff. I knew Tia Jia didn’t like the idea of leaving me alone, especially after my session with my therapist.

As she pulled away, she took my face in her hands and cradled it with love. “How was it?”

“Ok, but long.”

Tia Jia pulled away and motioned to the couch. We both went over to it and sat down. “What did you guys discuss?” she asked.

I pulled at my sleeves, tugging the material closer to my skin. “Mostly about Namjoon. That night in particular.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked carefully.

I shook my head. “Not at the moment. I feel so drained from it.”

Tia Jia reached over and rubbed my leg, comforting me. “When’s your next appointment?”

“Saturday.”

“This Saturday? Two days in one week?”

“Yeah.” I pulled my legs up, brought them to my chest, and placed my arms above my knees.

Tia Jia had nothing but concern written on her face.

“It sounds like a lot, but there was still so much to go over. We mostly talked about Namjoon and my relationship. The fucker who assaulted me was hardly brought up. I honestly just want to tackle that issue and figure out how he still has such power over me.”

Tia Jia let out a heavy sigh. “Well, just make sure to take plenty of water. It’s going to exhaust you.”

I nodded and lowered my head, pressing my mouth into the crease of my arm. The pressure eased me a little.

********

Days later, I found myself sitting in the same seat in front of Dr. Rob. This time, I didn’t cry when he asked how I was. I felt more at ease during the session.

“Would you disagree on anything?” Dr. Rob asked about my relationship with Namjoon 15 minutes into our session. The fucker who assaulted me still had not been mentioned, but it seemed as if the topic of Namjoon was going to be the main focus again.

“Doesn’t every couple?” I asked with a slight chuckle.

This time, Dr. Rob cracked a smile. “Obviously. But before the night of the breakup, what would you say your biggest disagreement was on?”

It didn’t take long to know the answer to this. “Being secretive with his team.”

“Did he want to tell his team about the two of you?”

I gave a nod.

“And you didn’t?”

I shook my head.

“Why not?”

I went on to describe to Dr. Rob how the culture was with idols in South Korea. How intrusive the media was. I was worried about the public finding out about us and it backfiring on Namjoon and the group.

“When you used this as an argument, how did Namjoon react?”

“He insisted his team would keep our secret. But I just didn’t want to run the risk.”

“But what about Namjoon? It is his life. Shouldn’t he have a say and decide whether he wants to risk his career or not?” Dr. Rob’s tone wasn’t harsh but it wasn’t gentle either.

“Of course. But what if it didn’t work out? Then he would have risked it for no reason,” I said defensively. “We were only together for three months. That’s way too soon.”

“Too soon?” he said, with a slight look of disbelief.

“Yes. Normally, people date for about six months before things get too serious. There’s progress in a relationship.”

“True, but who says it has to be six months for a couple to be considered serious?”

“No one takes a couple who's only been dating for three months seriously.”

“I know of some couples who were only together for six months when they tied the knot. And they’ve been together for more than two decades. I know another couple who moved in together after only dating a month and they’ve been together for eight years,” he countered.

“Well, they’re the exception, not the rule,” I said automatically.

Dr. Rob cracked a smile. “Are you quoting He’s Just Not That Into You?”

“Well, you did recommend the book to me years ago,” I said back.

He let out a chuckle. “I did. After you voiced to me that you were having a hard time knowing what was in a guy’s head and having trouble dating after you went to Korea.”

I nodded.

He waited a moment before asking his next question. “Do you think you’re a rule—not an exception?”

For a good while, I thought about my life. About never feeling special. Despite my musical talents and physical looks, I never felt exceptional. I had never felt treasured, other than with Tia Jia. But even with Tia Jia, I saw how she was with her two children and grandchildren and friends. She made everyone feel special. My brothers had always treated me like one of the boys growing up—normal, average. It was difficult to feel special when I had gone decades feeling so mediocre.

After I didn’t answer his question, he pressed with another. “Did Namjoon make you feel like the rule?” Dr. Rob asked, pulling me from my negative thoughts.

Memories of Namjoon’s and my first date popped into my head. The dinner he had made me. How he chanced walking next to me in Cheonggyecheon despite the crowd. Had I felt special? Yes. But then again, it was Namjoon. He knew people so well and knew how to make anyone feel special. It was his special power. “He knows how to make everyonefeel special. I don’t think I’m an exception.”

Dr. Rob thought for a good while again, deciphering my words. “So, if you think you can’t be his exception, do you want to be his rule?”

I frowned, not fully understanding.

Dr. Rob went on to clarify. “You might be considering this Rule Vs. Exception as if it's written law. When dating someone, in order for it to work, one must either be the Rule or the Exception. To you, because you have never thought of yourself as special or unique, you will never be someone’s exception. So, in order for your relationship with Namjoon to work, you have to see yourself as The Rule. And the Rule follows social rules in dating. There are progress steps: be together for six months in order to be considered serious in the eyes of society.”

I was left stunned. Was that how I was viewing myself in my relationship with Namjoon? “I never thought about it that way,” I admitted.

“One of the obstacles we didn’t get to fully tackle before was your self-worth and self-esteem when it came to your emotions. We focused mostly on your sexual assault and your prior relationships because those affected you the most during that time. I noted this during our sessions but it kept getting pushed back. I would really like to dive into it this time.”

“What do you mean by my self-worth and self-esteem with my emotions?” I asked, a bit confused.

“When it comes to your musical talents, you’re very sure of yourself. You have the biggest confidence on stage and when you’re in a board meeting about your career. The same can be said about your intellect. But for some reason, your emotions when it comes to personal relationships, they're a different story. I would really like to dig a little deeper into that.”

I thought about how I quickly apologized for crying the other day. I think I understood. My emotions were definitely not something I had full control over.

“We’ll circle to this later, but let’s go back to Namjoon and how the two of you disagreed. When you guys fought, how did you settle those fights?” Dr. Rob asked.

I thought carefully. “We never really get into huge fights—not counting the breakup. We had some disagreements, sure, but nothing too heavy.”

“You’ve never had a big fight?”

Doing my best, I searched my memories. “Well…” I said, suddenly remembering. “We had one years ago.”

“How did you resolve it?”

I thought long and hard and couldn’t remember. It happened such long ago.

Dr. Rob understood my silence. “Ok. Let’s take it from the top. What caused the fight?”

----------------

NOTES: Next chapter will all be a flashback.

MASTERLIST

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

[zalrb]

OTH 3X03 REWATCH Review

1. IIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYYY

2. “Should’ve used your stage name.” Lol, petty Nathan, I like it.

3. Also, in my high school, our lockers were supposed to be our same lockers for the whole four years but a) we moved lockers if we felt like it b) we didn’t even really use lockers, we just brought our bags to class.

4. Guys, their chemistry has DISAPPEARED

5. The whole plot line of these girls making fun of Haley for being a rockstar is just ... why? Like, I get jealousy, like I’ve heard of teen singers who got their, like, tires slashed by students and stuff because of their celebrity but this just rings so false.

6.

THE 00S WHAT A TIME!

7. Dan, shouldn’t you be focused on rebuilding your dealership?

8. Whitey is just so useless.

9. Was medical marijuana not a thing yet? Wasn’t it a thing in the 90s?

10. I know Dan thinks Lucas tried to kill him but this is your, like, 17 old son.

11. “I don’t care how many board members got their cars at cost, 40 years of coaching should count for more than that” not to side with Dan but one is more effectual than the other, Whitey, you’re a terrible coach. Which again. This is not a basketball town. In FNL, Eric loses ONE game in season 1 and the entire town freaks the fuck out and is like, we win SEASONS here, not games.

12. I like how they make it seem like adoption isn’t a lengthy process and that Ellie was just like yep this couple and that was it.

13. The funniest thing about the Haley/Nathan detention SL for me is that this ACTUALLY happened to me (minus the marriage or EVEN the dating) with my best friend and my French teacher. We weren’t talking because of the whole I realized I liked him thing and we weren’t sitting together in class anymore and I guess he would glare at me from across the room and sometimes we just ended up in huge fights in the hallway and we had French class before lunch and she told us both to stay behind then kept us in the room with her for the whole lunch hour so we could talk. She did it again after school another time.

14. “See you at lunch”, I’ve never seen you two together at lunch.

15. “Are you Kelly Clarkson?” “WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE?” WHAT is the insult here.

16. OK it IS really intrusive for Ellie to just be UP in Peyton’s room, going through her art, like I would be pissed off too but also

I need her to give it a rest, like I’m tired, Peyton.

17.

Like, I CAN’T. It also doesn’t help that Hilarie isn’t a great actress so this just comes across as whining as opposed to sheer devastation. Like, go find Jake and be giddy again please.

18. Everyone just loves calling Brooke a whore, man.

19. Oh, Peyton, looking at the stoplights. Ofc. At least she’s not driving this time I guess.

20. “Sometimes you guess right. You guessed where to find me.” Who wouldn’t know where to find you, Peyton. My god.

21. Mouth you’ve been annoying this WHOLE episode.

22.

but Lucas has NO right to be the one to tell him this. You end up painting Brooke’s red door black, sir.

23. Why is the MAYOR here? OK.

24. Lol I can hear Leyton shippers talking about how Peyton always brings up making out with Lucas as an indication that she wasn’t over him and that Leyton was always in the background but Peyton also always brings up making out or Nathan being horny for her all the time around him too and in fact in season 2 has to remember not to talk like that in front of Haley, so that’s just Peyton’s thing, she just talks about making out with guys she’s made out with before.

25. Dan is just fucking EVERYWHERE

26.

1. This is redundant, just say booty call.

2. We’ve never actually SEEN this. This just seems like conjecture.

27. I’m sorry but I found this delivery SO funny. This is not better, Nathan.

28. This always made me laugh because this is just regular pjs, it isn’t sexy, but she’s in her underwear instead of pants, so I guess

29. THE CHEMISTRY IS JUST GONE

30. Every time I see Whitey I’m like WHY

31. ALWAYS LOVE, HATE WILL GET YOU, EVERY TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME. Nostalgia.

32. Then Lucas’  fucking voiceover ruins it.

33. Because we all know that a podcast is a sufficient substitute for therapy from a licensed professional.

34. THE LETTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

35. I also realize that I like Naley when they’re together but don’t care for their buildups.

[fallingsatellive]

100 Questions for Tetri 1-100

1. What is your name? What is your human’s name?

Tetri, [redacted].

2. How did you get your name?

We’ve told this story a hundred times by now 😆

3. Do you have any nicknames? What do you like to call your human?

I don’t, and I usually call Swift his real name, not Swift.

4. What is your gender, if any?

Just male.

5. How old are you? Do you know your CIE date?

November 11, 2020. That makes me 2 years old.

6. How are you feeling right now?

Quite fine.

7. What is your favorite time of day?

Evening! Specifically the golden hour. When everything is settling in.

8. What is your favorite time of year?

Early to mid October.

9. What is your favorite activity?

Relaxing. Curling up by a fire with a book and a cup of tea.

10. What is your favorite food? Does it differ from your human’s?

Any kind of pastry, especially from a coffee shop. Yeah, Swift doesn’t like sweet stuff as much and I hate the fish he eats.

11. List five of your favorite songs, and five of your human’s favorite songs.

I Will Follow You Into the Dark, Must Be a Dream, Recycled Air, When We Drive, Atlanta; See the Day, Disappear, Dead Weight, Carnivore, CASTLE OF GLASS

12. Who was the last person you talked to, other than your human?

Lumi (one of our headmates).

13. If you could change one thing about your human, what would it be?

I'd make him go to bed earlier.

14. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I don't like disagreeing with Swift on things. I wouldn't want to change my opinions but I'd like to be better at explaining my perspective.

15. Are you affectionate?

Incredibly.

16. Are you introverted, extroverted, or in-between?

I'm kind of an introvert.

17. Do you like to meet other daemons?

Yeah! It's fun.

18. Do you have any friends, excluding your human?

I don't have external friends, but I'm close with all the headmates.

19. What do you do during a conflict?

Mediate and pacify.

20. Are you happy with the amount of time you are projected currently?

If I wasn't, I'd do it more. I'm "visible" when I want to be.

21. Do you have a favorite quote? If so, what is it?

"Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined." Ocean Vuong.

22. What is your favorite word?

I don't think I have one. Maybe "amber."

23. What is your favorite memory?

Since we share memories, I get to pick from our past before my CIE -- so my favorite memory is from the last day of junior year of high school, the evening after we had just come out to our friends, and we were listening to Lose It by Oh Wonder in the car and just kind of... transcending relief. Tied with the tashlich on our first Rosh Hashanah (and the honey and apples of course).

24. What is your favorite thing about your human?

I like that he's kind. He doesn't believe me when I say it because he only sees interpersonally. But he's got such a strong sense of justice in him. Things make him angry so much because he thinks big picture and wants the best for the world. He just thinks he's irritable.

25. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

My empathy and ability to comfort people. (Swift wants me to expand on this because he thinks I have low self-esteem.) I think I have a natural calmness and I liken myself to a cat in my ability to sense when someone is upset and offer a comforting presence. That's why I first appeared as a cat.

26. Have you learned anything new about yourself?

I'm constantly learning new things about myself. We all are.

27. Where would you like to travel to?

I'd like to go to Santa Fe.

28. Is there anyone that you would like to meet or get to know better?

No. Those things will happen naturally.

29. How often do you change forms?

Never. I'm always a civet.

30. What are your favorite forms to take?

Have been a civet since 2021, but I used to take a ratsnake form that I liked.

31. Are there any forms that you dislike or refuse to take?

Before I settled, I refused to take any kind of bird form. Flying, heights and being off the ground unsettles me.

32. If you took a fictional form, what would it be?

Turtleduck from Avatar.

33. Have you ever fronted or attempted to front?

No, and I wouldn't want to.

34. Do you have any regrets?

Oh, plenty. But why get into them here?

35. Do you love your human?

Of course! What kind of question--

36. Have you ever felt a close bond to another human/daemon/headmate?

I have a close bond with all the headmates. We're like a little family.

37. What are you afraid of?

Flight. Especially on airplanes. Cursed death traps.

38. Does your human have a headspace? What does it look like?

No.

39. Which form best describes YOUR personality?

Ragdoll cat. Or a quieter kind of dog.

40. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?

Somewhere peaceful. Settled down and in a comfortable rhythm in life.

41. What is the earliest conversation you can remember having with your human?

We talked about Swift's special interest in video game history. That's how we bonded for the first time. Easier for him to get to know someone if they're talking about his favorite thing in the world, the cathode-ray tube amusement device (nerd).

42. Do you have a favorite number? What it is?

I can't think of one!

43. What is your favorite color? Does it differ from your human’s?

Brown :)

44. How would you describe your sense of humor?

Dadlike.

45. What annoys you?

Getting wet or cold.

46. What makes you happy?

Lots of things! People, cats, poetry, sailboats, tea, greenhouses and bakeries. To name a few.

47. What makes you sad?

I don't like to think about sad stuff, so pass.

48. Where are you at this moment, and in what form (if any)?

On the armrest of the couch.

49. Do you use any form of social media (besides [TUMBLR])?

I have been known to send the occasional PluralKit message.

50. What does your voice sound like?

I think it's kind of Jacob Geller-esque, but a little deeper.

51. What are your favorite smells?

Cookies baking, new book smell, old book smell, coffee, fresh-cut grass, autumn rain, and unscented candles.

52. What images, scents, and sounds do you associate with your human?

Uncanny stuff. Like liminal spaces and weird CGI. He loves it.

53.Do you care about politics?

No.

54. Are you religious?

Not particularly.

55. Are you satisfied with your life right now?

No sense in being satisfied or unsatisfied. Just live with the goal of being happy, without caring whether you already are or what you could be doing better. So, satisfied I guess.

56. Is there something that you are looking forward to?

Getting a cat.

57. What are some of your life goals?

My goals align with the system*'s. We don't have concrete plans at the moment.

58. Do you care about clothing? What is your favorite outfit that your human wears?

Nah, I've never cared. It's not my body, so.

59. Do you wear any accessories?

No.

60. What is your current eye color? Does it change depending on your form?

Always brown.

61. What type of pet would you want? Why?

Cat! Rat would also be fun.

62. Do you have any favorite TV shows?

His Dark Materials.

63. Are you a worry wart?

Oh yeah.

64. What is something that you hate?

I don't think I hate anything. That's a strong word.

65. What is your favorite type of weather?

Clear skies and warm temperatures but not humid.

66. Do you enjoy getting caught in the rain?

No! I hate it. I hate getting rained on-- oh I guess I do hate something.

67. Do you care much about your appearance?

Nah.

68. Are you talkative, or quiet?

I would say I'm pretty quiet, but Swift says I'm the most frequent converser in the brain.

69. Have you ever made a mistake?

You think I could live 2 years without making a single mistake?

70. What is your greatest personal achievement?

You know what? I'm proud of settling. It shows stability.

71. Do you have any guilty pleasures?

I don't feel guilt for pleasure, we're not Catholic.

72. What do you do when your human is unhappy?

I usually try to offer advice but all he usually needs is just someone to talk to and be around.

73. Do you like to cuddle?

Yes.

74. What’s your plan for the rest of the day?

It's 11:30 pm.

75. What is your favorite day of the week?

Saturday.

76. Do you like to sing or dance?

Yeah, I dabble in it.

77. Are you lazy?

Oh, I'd like to think not.

78. Are you stubborn?

Not at all. The opposite.

79. Have you ever felt lonely?

I'm never alone. But yes.

80. How do you feel about your human participating in romantic relationships?

For.

81. Can money buy happiness?

No.

82. Do you have any quirks or odd habits?

I love windowsills. I just hang out on the windowsill at any place we go.

83. Do you believe that life exists on other planets?

Yeah.

84. Where is “home” for you?

Home is anywhere you decide to make it.

85. Have you ever played devil’s advocate?

No, I see no reason to.

86. Describe yourself in six words.

Friendly little-guy-coded cat-shape.

87. Do you have any inside jokes?

Probably.

88. If you were corporeal for a day, what would you do?

I'd taste. I'd make a day out of tasting. Lots of sugary foods. Obviously I can taste vicariously through Swift but it's not the same y'know?

89. What was your favorite moment from today so far?

Breakfast.

90. Are you sarcastic?

No, not really. Too earnest.

91. If you were a human (or already take a human form), what would you look like?

I think it's a silly question because I don't have a human form, so I could look like literally anything.

92. Do you have any hidden talents?

No, I don't think so.

93. Have you ever named anything?

Myself.

94. Have you ever appeared in your human’s dream?

Maybe once or twice but not autonomously.

95. Has your personality changed since you first came into existence?

A little, but we attribute that to the fact that people just change sometimes over the course of years. Swift has changed a lot too. We changed each other.

96. Have you/your human ever changed your name?

No. We were right the first time.

97. Have you ever told a lie?

No, never!

98. Do you curse?

Not much.

99. Have you ever felt jealous?

No.

100. What inspires/motivates you?

Mary Oliver poems.

[thesungod]

Can i just say that the argument "this is a middle school book ofc the writing is going to be Cringe and Like That" is kinda... stupid? Like i sometimes go back and watch PJO books when i am bored. And i can read them just fine bc the writing is not bad lol. It is not that this book is targetrd toward middle school kids. It is that it is badly written. Sorry but hiding behind the "the book is for middle schoolers" mask just aint making any sense and it looks like a cheap way of blocking ppl from bringing deserved criticism abt the book.

totally agree. especially if you consider that stuff like Hunger Games and Death Note have an age range set at like, 14 and they are solid staples of pop culture with complex themes and interesting characters that my parents enjoyed with me. Something written for 12-13 year olds instead shouldn’t be that much worse.

and the book isn’t even. like. the potential was there. i occasionally thought we were going somewhere even a bit more mature than PJO and HoO but i always ended up being disappointed because of the writing and because the authors seemed so scared of writing something remotely risky in any way.

for example the “when the time comes, tell me the truth” thing. i really was excited for it. i was like oh what are we going to find out!!! and then it was… that Nico likes darkness…? and Will doesn’t know after a year of dating…?

i think rick riordan (that i still believe is a good writer and will still thank for making my childhood blablabla) simply didn’t want to write this book much lol. that’s why i still hold hope for The Chalice Of The Gods. that seems like something he actually wanted to write. we’ll see.

and Mark Oshiro was given a job and probably an almost fully defined plot when they entered the game, so i really can’t fault them, though i don’t think their writing style really matches pjo (that’s not a fault btw. it’s just how it is).

[ashitshowforalot]

so i finished speak now taylor’s version, i cried, thoughts and feelings under the cut

1. mine- bro why am i crying??? her vocals are so different bc she doesn’t have her twang 😭 she sounds so pretty though. ‘FOR THE FIRST TIME’

2. sparks fly- still makes me want to jump and dance around but her vocals are more present if that makes sense??? like it used to blend together for but now i mostly hear taylor. god her voice is so much mature now.

3. back to december- oh hello bell i didn’t realize you were there. okay i’m gonna cry again bc of this song. “I MISS YOUR TAN SKIN YOUR SWEET SMILE”

4. speak now- oh she sounds so pretty already. it’s still so dreamy in this song 😭 “ you wish it was me ☺️ don’t you😏” HER LAUGH OH MY GOD

5. dear john- bro she sounds like she’s gonna cry in the beginning of this, it’s gonna make me cry. oh god 32 year old taylor singing about what happened to 19 year old taylor. go the way i never realized she blames herself until after the bridge “i should’ve know” into “you should’ve know” because he was older HE should’ve known.

6. mean- okay banjo!!! she’s still so cute, i love you mean, forever in my heart 💜 okay tiny ity bitty twang in this song, she’s having fun and i love it.

7. the story of us- okay the guitar is leaning more pop ish than the alternative kind it was leaning towards in the original, not bad i can still bop to it but i’ll miss the guitar riffs, you can hear her little smile on “next chapter”. “LIKE ITS KILLING ME YEAH” aidhsjkshdj “the end” yes taylor

8. never grow up- oh okay, yeah i’m gonna cry. i cried too much to type anything

9. enchanted- oh she’s still enchanting lol, so dreamy oh my god. i will be screaming this in the car actually. oh it actually absolutely amazing.

10. better than revenge-oh i love her already, she did change the lyrics 😔, it slaps but i will hold a candle for the original lyrics because they are so fun to scream misogamy be damn. other than the lyric change she’s absolutely amazing, HER RIFF OH MY GOD, the mocking lyrics, i love them

11. innocent-how hard was this to re record this knowing that this person would continue to hurt her after she had forgiven them. “32 and still growing up now” brb gotta go scream.

12. haunted-YES OH MY GOD THE DRAMA OF THIS SONG, ooo the echoing is fun, the breaths ahkfsh i love all the little things about this album. genuinely one of my favorites from the original and tv holds the same place in my heart. her vocals give me life

13. last kiss- oh god that first beat still makes my heart drop. okay i am going to cry again. tiny twang again. we lost shaky breathe but the song is still so sad even without it.

14. long live-my favorite song to date actually and i might cry. it’s still so good 😭 god and to know so many people who knew her when she wrote this still know her and support her. thinking about her guitarist has been with her for so long and this song is for the people like him and for us and i just i-

15. ours- ours is such a cutesy song, i love her she deserves a kiss on the forehead. kicking my feet and giggling. her laugh again 😭

16. superman-i love you superman you are such a fun song people forget about you, got me dancing and having a fun time, ignoring that it’s probably about j**n m****r.

17. electric touch-our first vault song!!!! oh wow she’s different, she’s so speak now though, oh fallout boy is so fun on this song, taylor has now claimed the time 8:05 lol, i hear the fob influences but the song is still so taylor

18. when emma falls in love- ooo piano she’s fun, oh taylor girl what emma are we referring to babes, when emma falls in love is cute though, not my favorite vault song though, not a skip let’s be clear

19. i can see you- oh, she’s fun, she different, oh my god who are you???? oh she’s rising in ranks so fast, oh my god i love her so much “ i could you up against the wall with me” TAYLOR GIRL, i am scandalized

20. castles crumbling- hi hayley i love you, taylor girl are you okay? nothing new 1.0?, castles crumbling was not what i thought it was, i think i might cry actually, don’t worry hayley got a verse lol, anyways taylor girl are you okay??? anti hero 1.0? bro???

21. foolish one- oh okay happy beat sad lyrics, taylor said take your anti delulu pills or this song is about you, “how could i not see the signs” taylor???? babes what happened??? “he just wasn’t the one” oh okay that hurt a little a lot

22. timeless- oh good old taylor and a guitar, oh no taylor sweetheart i don’t think you would’ve been timeless, why does this hurt, oh this feels so bittersweet

anyways favorite base 16 song is long love and haunted

favorite vault song is i can see you

[ashauyel]

NCT 127 TITLE TRACK RANKING (PERSONAL OPINION AN OPINION THAT IS SUBJECTIVE AND BASED ON MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE)

16. chain

I do not care for this song. my problem with calling nct songs bad is that they’re all so good at singing it can trick you into thinking a bad song is good. that effect was not successful in this case. this is one of the only 127 songs I would genuinely call overproduced.

15. wakey-wakey

I just realized it’s about to look like I’m just hating on their Japanese titles and to that I say that the Japanese branch of SM should step their game up idk. anyways I don’t hate this song but the intro is unlistenable and the beat is so ludicrously dated for being released in 2019 and not in a fun nostalgic way either.

14. gimme gimme

I like this song but it sounds exactly like Red Velvet’s Wildside and that song is much much better than this so it ranks low just by virtue of having a pretty sister. sorry.

13. regular

I think we can all admit this song is cringe. can we say that like can we be real for a second. anyways it’s still extremely fun and the harmonies are excellent

12. kick it

well. here we are. I know this is their most popular song by far and probably their least controversial but to me that’s it’s weakness. it’s very catchy, the harmonies and bridge are untouchable, and the choreo is excellent but it’s just not… weird enough? their best titles are the ones that really stand out from the crowd and this just does not deliver on that.

11. 2 baddies

full disclosure this song came on shuffle while I was writing this and I burst out laughing, this song is just too much fun. the final chorus is so fucking good it justifies the entire songs existence. its about a threesome, Jaehyun raps about Blues Clues, it’s got old timey car horns interpolated through the melody, Taeyong makes a barely veiled comment about letting the listener fuck him, literally what is there not to like about this song.

10. superhuman

this song was lifted directly from the Shinee vault and I’m not even being hyperbolic about that o would be willing to put money down that this is a reworked Shinee track from like 2013 that didn’t make it out of the basement. and that’s why it’s good 🤷🏻‍♀️ it ranks low-ish purely because it doesn’t sound like a 127 song. to me.

9. punch

why do I feel like this could be a controversial opinion. I like this song. I like the weird ASMR bits, when this song dropped I was obsessed with asking people if they get ASMR tingles. I am a harmony enjoyer so I liked the chorus and the weird minor scales they do on the theremin, it sounds like if Mario Kart had a crossover with Final Fantasy. everyone else hated it because they wore jeans to promote it, and that’s understandable.

8. touch

I AM A GOOFY SONG LIKER. this is also a Shinee song but in a good way. it was a fun pivot from their usual and they really got to show off their vocals. an unambiguously GOOD song, thank you Taeil.

7. favorite

I’m not calling that shit vampire, please get out of my face. anyways I’m angry at this song and will be angry possibly forever. the verses are literally unlistenable. you can’t listen to them, physically. however this song has possible one of the best choruses I’ve ever heard in a pop song or maybe even ANY song. when I want to listen to this song I literally press play while my phone is on silent, fast forward to the chorus, and THEN turn the volume up. so you can see why it ranked where it did.

6. cherry bomb

I can’t separate this song from the loona cover and therefore I’m very enamored with it. honestly this song ranks this high just because of Mark’s rap verse, which is so good it justifies all other horrible inane offbeat and nonsense filled kpop rap verses. in two to five years when SM has attempted to integrate Mark into the American rap market please either remember I said this or forget it entirely out of respect for me.

5. sticker

I can’t explain my art often. I think it’s becoming obvious that their more controversial songs are my favorite and this is because I find them genuinely interesting musically. it’s great to hear vocally talented people dipping into experimental sounds and bringing pop to new places, and I think Sticker exemplifies this! the beat is fun, the vocals are amazing, even the weird nasal rap fits perfectly into this song. a hit!

4. fire truck

an oldy but a goldy! they had a lot to prove with this song and they definitely did the damn thing. I think even people who don’t like nct or anything approaching their sound can still admit this is a good song, which is a slippery slope. Haechan and Taeil facing off during the pre chorus on top of Taeyong rap parts… excellent that’s all there is to say!

3. ay-yo

sorry I couldn’t let this song marinate for a full 24 hours, as if it’s my fault. this song is the best thing 127 has released in years, and it was up against some tough competition. it’s deeply reminiscent of limitless and their early work while keeping all the strengths from their recent albums. I’m purposefully only talking about the titles and not the albums but I have to mention how perfectly this song ties together the repackage, the two new bsides compliment it so well that it wouldn’t surprise me if they were written alongside it, and it very neatly sweeps together the 2baddies album in a way that’s significantly more coherent than the original release. the only reason this isn’t in second is because the bridge should have had Haechan and Taeil in it.

2. simon says

this song is good. to me this is the most nct release to ever exist. the pitched up horse sounds. the weird disjointed bubble noises and seemly random marimba half scales. the bridge to this song should be studied in universities and maybe even churches. this is truly one of those rap parts you either get or don’t, and if you get it you REALLY get it. the production of this song is so interesting and complex that you’d think it would sound busy but the layers fit together in such a fascinating way that it’s incredibly satisfying to pick apart.

1. limitless

this is a very good song. this was so close to the beginning of their career and for them to solidify their sound so early is so fascinating to see given how they’ve only really doubled down and perfected it over the years. the guttural grinding electronic bass sounds matching Taeyong’s vocal fry over the verses, men fighting for their lives on the chorus, Mark was wearing a sweat band, the chanting during the post-chorus… this is the perfect example of how pop can borrow from other genres or successfully utilize interesting techniques to create something new. I actually think this is probably one of the best kpop songs ever made. it’s a GOOD song.

thanks for reading please comment if you have thoughts I don’t feel like reading this again so if I spelled something wrong please have mercy on me okay byeee

[eldritchsurveys]

1257.

1. Where would you like to be in 5 years? >> I would like to be alive. If I’m not, then I guess I’ll be in no position to protest anyway. 2. What was the experience that impacted you the most in your life? >> I have no way of determining that. I don't think that's a logical way to judge my life, anyway -- everything I've experienced has contributed to how I am, and trying to "rank" those things in this manner is missing the point. 3. What type of relationship did you have with your parents? >> One I'm still recovering from. 4. Would you be with someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as you? >> If I'm actually wanting to be close to someone, they definitely have similar core beliefs as me. Otherwise, I wouldn't even be feeling that way.

5. How would your best friends describe you? .

6. Do you usually follow your heart or your head? >> My emotions and my cognition are intertwined. 7. Would you put your family or your friends first if you had to choose one? .

8. What did your last relationship teach you? .

9. What do you think of online dating? >> I don’t have any thoughts about online dating. It doesn’t seem any more interesting to me than offline dating. You'll note that I just don't like dating, I think the whole concept is absurd.

10. Do you prefer dating just one person and see where it goes or dating multiple people until you make a decision? >> I prefer not dating. I don't go out seeking romantic partners like that, I'd rather just make people's acquaintance the regular way and get to know them and see what kind of bond we form over time.

11. What are the qualities you’re looking for in someone you want to grow old with? .

12. What are you most grateful for in your life? >> Well, my life. And being strange and unusual and having such a complex inner world. Also, baklava. Very grateful for baklava.

13. If you could change anything about your past, what would it be? .

14. What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself today and why? .

15. If a psychic could tell you what will happen in the future, what would you want to know? >> I'd really rather not. I do engage with astrology's divinatory properties, but only to a certain extent. I have an 8th house stellium and considering you can predict death-related matters through the 8th house, I think it's best I don't know too much about what's going on in there.

16. If you knew that you only had one year to live, what would you change in your life? >> I don’t know. I can’t comprehend what it would be like to know when I’m going to die, so I can’t imagine myself in that situation.

17. If money and career were no object, what would you really be doing? >> The thing is, money and career are not a factor in my life at all, so... here it is, here is what I'd really be doing. What I'm doing right now.

18. What do you do when you don’t get something you worked really hard for? >> Cry about it.

19. Do you hold grudges or do you forgive easily? >> I don't think I do either one.

20. What are some of your favorite quotes and why do you relate to them? >> I can never think of quotes off the top of my head. 21. Where do you go when you need some inspiration? >> I don’t have a specific place to go for this. I find inspiration in random places at random times. 22. Who is the first person you call when you’re in trouble? >> I don’t know, seeing as I’m almost never in trouble.

23. Which fictional character do you believe is the most like yourself? >> The fictional characters that are also me.

24. What is the craziest thing that you’ve done with someone? >> Hanging out with Sigma put me in some crazy situations back in the day.

25. Do you like someone you’re interested in to pursue you or do you prefer to do the chasing? >> I can play either role, I'm sure. What matters is the reciprocation, whether they do so in a shyer, receptive way or a more assertive way.

26. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given? .

27. If you could marry anyone in the world, who would it be and why? . 28. Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger? >> I think that depends on a lot of factors.

29. Did you ever judge someone for the dark secrets they told you? >> I actually think I'm the perfect person to tell dark secrets to. I am not inclined towards judgement -- or gossip. I'm even better than a priest. 30. What is your dream vacation and who would you take with you? >> I don’t dream of vacations.

31. What is one thing you’ve always wanted to cross off your bucket list, but haven’t yet? .

32. Would you ever just quit everything and start over in a new country? >> Emigrating to a different country does interest me, but I know that's just not possible for me so I don't think about it much.

33. Would you relocate for love? >> I would relocate for one corn chip. But, yeah, also love.

34. How do you feel about staying friends with exes? >> It vexes me to think that I could be so entangled with someone and then have such a rancorous parting that we couldn't be friends afterwards. That makes no sense to me. Why must that happen? I think I'd like to live and love in a way that makes it far less likely to happen.

35. What’s your love language? >> I don't participate in this shit.

36. If you could choose one superpower, what would it be and why? .

37. What is your biggest regret in life so far? .

38. Who is your role model? >> Skeletor.

39. What was your favorite romantic moment and why? >> Skygazing with the Grim Reaper in The Sims 4. I knew I could win him over. It's me, of course he'd fall in love with me. >:3 40. What is your favorite childhood memory? .

41. Are you still in touch with your childhood friends? >> I didn’t have any friends in childhood. In general, I’m not in touch with anyone I knew ("knew") in school. 42. What do you do when you’re angry? >> I don’t know. I’m so rarely angry that I don’t know what my pattern is.

43. What are your beliefs on God? >> Which one? The Christian one? I like some interpretations of him but not the more common ones. I think Christian mysticism and other smaller sects are onto something for sure. But ultimately, we're just not compatible relationship-wise.

44. Do you believe in soul mates? >> Sure, why not.

45. How long does it take you to really trust someone? >> I don't know, I still don't know what it's like to really trust someone.