#if they wanted us to believe it was because of Remy they did a pretty piss-poor job of showing anything resembling such closeness

[aceredshirt13]

So my buddy @oshawolt and I have watched the first two episodes of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, and by far the funniest part about the show is that its complete inability to give teenaged Indy anything like a concrete logical reason to enlist in WWI results in it reading like Indy is willing to go against his friends, his family, his loved ones, all logic, and a significant number of his moral codes, solely because his bestie T. E. Lawrence signed up for the war, and he apparently values that above literally all other aspects of his life.

Like. Listen. In the first episode, Indy joins Pancho Villa and the Mexican Revolution because he wants to help people, but when a poor villager tells him how even the most just of wars inflict untold suffering on the innocents the soldiers claim to be fighting for, Indy becomes disillusioned with the war effort... only to read a letter + photograph he keeps with him from Lawrence, who says he's joining the war effort in Arabia because he believes it is a cause worth fighting for. And Indy proceeds to immediately forget literally everything he just heard that Mexican villager say and go "fuck it, we ball. and by ball I mean go to the trenches." Indy has decided that the Mexican Revolution "isn't his war", but he's American - WWI in 1916 isn't his war any more than the Mexican Revolution is. So that obviously can't be his justification??

Now, ostensibly he goes because his friend Remy, a Belgian guy he met in Mexico who was fighting for the revolution after his family was killed, decides to go back to Belgium and fight in his own homeland's war instead of the Mexican one. In fact, in the upcoming episodes, he and Remy are together quite a lot. But during the first episode set in Mexico, we are never given to believe that he and Indy are particularly close - they seem like acquaintances at best. Not much time is shown of them together, and we hoped that in the second episode, when the two of them disembark in London and enlist in the Belgian Army, we'd get some of that good old intergenerational friendship energy and really see why Indy, despite not necessarily believing in this war, might want to go to support his friend in Belgium, and his more distant friend in the Middle East.

Nah. Remy ditches Indy for a hot widow almost immediately, and for the entire rest of the episode his ass is GONE. He literally doesn't show up again except to give Indy the papers saying it's time to go to the army, and to be like "oh by the way I'm married now!" at the train station. Bro apparently does not hang out with Indy or tell him anything. Which would be understandable if they were acquaintances, but like??? Aren't they meant to be so close as friends that Indy would up and fight a war with this guy???

Meanwhile, Indy follows a cute girl to a suffragette meeting, they become best friends on the virtue of "speaking an unbelievably unrealistic number of languages" and "having literally identical backstories" (to the point where we found ourselves wishing she'd been Indiana Jones in this show instead, given that she's apparently just his cooler genderbent version played by someone who can act better), meet and get along with his tutor since childhood (who apparently is close enough with Indy now not to want him to enlist in the Army and endanger himself, despite the fact that she disliked Indy so much as a child and allowed him in so many absurdly dangerous situations that we became convinced she was deliberately trying to get him killed in a way that looked like an accident), and eventually fall in love. All through this, Indy helps with the women's suffrage movement, lends money to a poor woman and her children, watches his friend/girlfriend throw a dessert at Winston Churchill (who is in this episode for five minutes because Why The Hell Not I Guess), meets multiple people whose loved ones have been killed in the war, and is told by an older suffragette that one day of the good work he's put in today is worth one year of time in the trenches. At one point, while visiting the girl's family, he is asked why he joined the war effort, and gives an unbelievably vague and evasive answer that all but proves he doesn't even know why. And in the end, he wants to ask the girl to marry him, but she says no - partially because of the implication that she doesn't know him quite well enough to be willing to sign her rights away, and partially because she doesn't know if after the war they'll be two different people.

So let's look at the facts. Here in London, he has friends, family, someone he loves who he could spend a life with and eventually marry after they've established themselves, and a purpose he enjoys with clear, positive results. Sure, he's already signed up for the Belgian Army, but he enlisted under a half-assed fake name that couldn't possibly be traced. He scarcely ever sees Remy - he seems to owe him nothing, and owe his country no allegiance. Why not just... not go when his number is up? What reason on Earth could he have to do anything but stay?

So naturally, he just. He just fucking goes! For no conceivable reason - no conceivable reason other than that Lawrence is also in the war!

Indy's been friends with Lawrence since they met when Lawrence was 20 and Indy was a nine-year-old kid who couldn't act very well - Lawrence asked him to call him "Ned", and he still does (which, for the record, Indy's tutor, who has literally known Lawrence longer than Indy has and is on good terms with him, does not. Apparently she didn't get the nicknaming permission. Rip). Still does, because the only time Indy is able to give a concrete answer about anything in the war is when said tutor angrily asks him why he's enlisted, and he says that "Ned" is in the war! He knows this because apparently Lawrence actually kept his promise to write to him, and they've been writing letters and sending stuff to each other since Indy was a child! And - judging by every other thing in his life suggesting otherwise - Indy values the actions of his pen pal more than anyone else's opinions, his friends and love life, and his own safety and happiness! That doesn't seem like a normal way to react to the actions of a guy you only knew in-person for a few days as a child!

Unless...

...

...In conclusion, world-famous fictional film character Indiana Jones would not have become the person he is if it hadn't been for his gay little crush on real human man T. E. Lawrence.

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

Any time Anakin's "obsession" with Obi-Wan shows up in the story, it's very clearly a bad thing, because Anakin's "obsession" is a bad thing, full stop, regardless of who he's aiming it at. To use Star Wars parlance, this is the attachment, this is why the Jedi forbid it and why attachments are considered bad on their own and why they're not considered the same as "love" or "relationships." So Anakin being attached to Obi-Wan INSTEAD of Padme (which doesn't have to mean they're in a romantic relationship, obviously) doesn't make that attachment suddenly a good thing simply because it isn't romantic. It would still be dangerous and it would still likely push Anakin to do bad things in the name of the attachment.

That being said, Anakin shows the MOST restraint in his relationship with Obi-Wan, despite the clear attachment he does have to him. I'm willing to believe that Palpatine likely did ENCOURAGE an attachment to Obi-Wan while at the same time also planting the seeds for doubt in the relationship, balancing those things very carefully so that he could use Obi-Wan to pull Anakin into darkness. But the very VERY few times we see Anakin successfully manage to actually hold off from making rash and reckless choices is with his relationship to Obi-Wan.

I've mentioned most of these examples before, but I'll go over them quickly again.

Chronologically, we start with Attack of the Clones where Anakin is initially inclined NOT to go to Geonosis to save Obi-Wan until Padme convinces him into it (while you could argue that this shows a lack of CARE for Obi-Wan, this isn't really supported by the dialogue and it's contrasted pretty explicitly with Anakin planning to abandon Padme earlier in order to chase after his mother).

The next one we see is in Landing at Point Rain during TCW when Obi-Wan's ship crashes and it's unclear what Obi-Wan's status is and Anakin has to make the choice to stay with his men and leave Obi-Wan to his chances rather than run ahead and abandon his men just for the CHANCE to help Obi-Wan (especially when Obi-Wan could easily be already dead, or could die/receive help from someone else before Anakin can get there, while his men will almost certainly die without him before they can reach the landing zone and that would be pretty disastrous for the mission).

The third one is, ironically enough, in the Deception arc. When Anakin and Ahsoka are first sent after "Rako Hardeen" to arrest him and they find him drunk, Anakin explicitly tells "Hardeen" that he'd kill him if it wouldn't disrespect Obi-Wan's memory to do so. You can make the argument that he's able to hold back in part because Ahsoka's standing there watching him, so he couldn't really get away with killing a drunk man who won't fight back, but he doesn't seem to be paying much attention to her and his claim out loud is that he's doing it because it's what Obi-Wan would want him to do. He does start to struggle more and more as the arc goes on and loses some of that fight with his anger, but this initial moment does show us that Anakin CAN hold back when he wants to and that Obi-Wan's influence on him is, generally, a positive one.

The reason I point these out is because we don't often see this kind of restraint with any of his other relationships. Shmi, Padme, and Ahsoka in particular have a tendency to bring out the WORST in him (note that Obi-Wan's influence will stop being as strong when it's pitted against, say, Padme or Ahsoka's lives at stake).

So I DO think that Palpatine likely was originally intending for Obi-Wan to BE the primary "obsession" for Anakin until the opportunity to throw Padme back into his life came into play. We see elements of it in the way Anakin talks about Obi-Wan through AOTC, telling Padme that Obi-Wan is as wise as Yoda and as powerful as Mace, and telling Obi-Wan himself that he's the closest thing he's ever had to a father. But even with that, Obi-Wan's influence is very GROUNDING for Anakin, it reminds Anakin of who he should be and who he CAN be in a way no other relationship he has ever truly does. Obi-Wan's influence in Anakin's life actually INSPIRES Anakin to be better because Obi-Wan has managed to connect with Anakin in a way that goes deeper than some of his other relationships (I think that his relationships with Padme and Ahsoka are both INCREDIBLY skin deep and that Anakin mostly sees them as extensions of himself or primarily for what they can do for him rather than caring about them for who they are).

Which means that, while Anakin's attachment to Obi-Wan is always going to be a bad thing that could feasibly push Anakin to do terrible things, there's arguably evidence in canon to support the idea that if Palpatine had CONTINUED with this particular plan, that it wouldn't have worked quite as well as it did with Padme. I think that Anakin's attachment to Obi-Wan, such as it is, has to come up against Anakin's desire for Obi-Wan's APPROVAL which is only gained when Anakin acts MORE LIKE A JEDI. He WANTS to live up to Obi-Wan's faith in him, he wants to Obi-Wan to be proud of him and feel like the time and effort he spent training him was worth it. It's also worth noting that their dynamic as Master and Padawan makes the whole overprotective thing less likely to come up than it would with people like Padme and Ahsoka. Obi-Wan was MORE powerful than Anakin for a while, MORE capable of protecting himself than Anakin was, and was actually ANAKIN'S protector. So while he does CARE whether Obi-Wan lives or dies, he's also much more inclined to believe Obi-Wan can generally take care of himself, too.

So I can honestly see it sort-of going either way. Obi-Wan's relationship with Anakin is one of the few (if not the ONLY) real grounding influences in Anakin's life and could have possibly broken through the attachment enough to keep Anakin from going full tilt Sith, but it's equally as likely that Palpatine would've found a way around that anyway. Obviously, Palpatine could've just... killed Obi-Wan to get that influence out of the way and pushed Anakin over the edge out of a desire for vengeance as opposed to a desire to keep Obi-Wan from dying in the first place. The attachment is still dangerous, and as long as Palpatine's alive, he'll find a way to use it to get Anakin where he wants him, but if Obi-Wan is ALSO alive, he has the ability to balance out Palpatine's influence to some degree.

[spaceorphan18]

The Rogue and Gambit Project: Previously On X-Men... Gambit

It's time to talk about Gambit! The nice thing about Gambit is that he was, at the time, a relatively new character, having only been around in the comics for about a year. Which means there is way less to cover! Boy, are we going to have to deal with some questionable art, though.

The Basics:

Name: Remy Etienne* LeBeau

*Okay, so, this is the funny thing about the name Etienne. Apparently, it started out as fanlore, and - as so many things that happen in fandom - gained popularity as fanon from a particularly well known piece of fanfiction from way back when. I believe it's actually been used in canon at this point. It is on Marvel.com - which is the official site. I'll keep a look out for it to show up.

Also, in case you didn't know (and I'm sure you did), Le Beau is French for The Beautiful.

Backstory: Just like Rogue, Gambit's backstory is shrouded in mystery. He's a thief. He's from New Orleans. He's Cajun. That's all your getting for now. Don't worry, we'll peel back the layers. ;)

Power Set (via uncannyxmen.net):  interkinetic power allows him to produce bio-kinetic energy within his body and use it to convert any inorganic object's potential energy into kinetic energy on contact, making the object highly volatile and explosive on contact, internal energy also grants him heightened agility and creates static interference that shields his mind from detection

I should also give the obligatory comment of - these powers are toned down from his full abilities because of /reasons/ which we'll get to eventually. He had Mr. Sinister give him a lobotomy and, we've all been suffering the consequences sense.

Alright, let's dig into Gambit's pre-Rogue run...

Uncanny X-Men 266-267

Uncanny X-Men #266

I have to start by appreciating the fact that Gambit is a thief who wears bright pink and metal boots. It's a bold look.

Anyway, the funny thing about Gambit is that the character he turned out to be ended up being a lot different from creator Chris Claremont's initial ideas. Apparently, he was supposed to be, ultimately, a villain and, while he was supposed to be a love interest for one of our characters, it wasn't Rogue, it was... Kitty Pryde. He was also supposed to be a Mr. Sinister creation and a third summers brother. Yeah, I'm kind of glad Claremont left before any of this stuff really came to fruition.

Also, I once read that Claremont claim that original artist Mike Collins made Gambit too pretty. Which is funny, because ngl, I really am not a fan of the look in his debut, and it will be a while before he really earns his name.

Uncanny X-Men #266

I also want to note that Gambit's powers were a little different back then. He didn't have playing cards yet, and instead used metal spikes as throwing devices. The powers were designated in green. And were charged from his eyes. Also, interesting to note - his eyes aren't red on black yet, either.

There's also 'hypnotic charm' thing that was kinda used in the early appearances. He does use it in his first appearance to tame some of the Shadow King's Hounds.

Uncanny X-Men #266

He's gonna be calling her 'Stormy' for years. She's gonna love it. ;) (Btw - he calls her Stormy 4 times in this issue alone.)

Okay, so... Gambit shows up, crossing paths with Storm at a mansion of some rich person. Storm is de-aged (for... reasons) and is running from the Shadow King and his minions. He's busy stealing art from the rich dude (who apparently is not home and has no security, lol).

And thus, one of my favorite comic book friendships is born. And really, this first appearance is a lot of fun as Gambit and Storm play off each other's strengths to get away from the Shadow King.

Uncanny X-Men 267

Jim Lee is going to add some of Gambit's more iconic features -- such as throwing playing cards (Gambit's Ace of Spades shows up in this next issue) and using some kind of staff (hilariously, it's a broom in this issue).

Storm and Gambit's adventures continue. He takes her to New Orleans for a while so she can recover from the Shadow King. They go thieving -- playing Robin Hood -- stealing from rich people because they can. And then the Orphan Maker comes along, who makes Storm a teenager? (Idk - the whole thing is weird - she'll become her real age again in the next story arc.)

Uncanny X-Men #267

And then Storm is like, hey, I have a crazy idea....

Uncanny X-Men Annual #14

Fun fact: Because of release dates and such, Uncanny X-Men #266 wasn't the first comic released to have Gambit in it. The Annual technically came out first, though it clearly takes place after Uncanny 266-267. But this is the first time we see Gambit among the X-Men team. Not that he does anything remotely interesting during this whole thing. He doesn't even speak, kind of hides awkwardly in the background.

X-Tinction Agenda (Uncanny X-Men #270-272; X-Factor & New Mutants)

Uncanny X-Men #270

Welcome to the X-Men, Gambit! Hope you survive the experience!

He's in the credit roll now, must be official. ;)

Gambit joins the team just as the mega X-tinction Agenda crossover starts. (Uncanny X-Men joins New Mutants and X-Factor for this one) And, I'll be honest, this isn't one of my favorite crossovers. The whole thing revolves around the nation of Genosha, how they're using mutants for slaves, and how all the teams come together to change the status quo. And of course, mutants get capture and tortured and a few killed. Fwiw X-Men: The Animated Series did do this storyline.

Uncanny X-Men #270

Gambit and Cable don't (won't) get to cross paths very often, so I found this an interesting panel. Anyway... Gambit really has very little to do during this crossover. When Storm gets captured, he is really concerned for her (as he considers her his partner at the moment) but he's not really vibe-ing the whole team dynamic yet.

Uncanny X-Men #272

This is arguably the coolest thing Gambit's done as of yet. Dude pulls a spike out of his leg to use as a lockpick and gets himself rescued. I'm glad they give him this, because, again, for the most part he's just kinda hanging around in the background not doing much.

I will say - he and Jubilee get to cross paths, which is going to be a source of fun in the next arc.

Space Shenanigans (Uncanny X-Men 273-277)

Uncanny X-Men 273

Some of my favorite issues are when the team is regrouping. Post- X-Tinction Agenda, it's clear that things in the X-Office were changing. Claremont is at this point sort of being pushed out, while Jim Lee and Co are becoming more the driving force behind the books. On panel, the teams are kind of merging. X-Factor's first era is drawing to a close, and the X-Men are resolidifying after being in flux for so long.

We're about to get a Space Soap Opera, as Claremont so dearly loves, but this issue is a bit of a breather between the arcs. And we get this bit of tension between Storm and Gambit - where Gambit is ready to move on, but Storm is back on solid footing again. They don't explicitly state why Gambit sticks around, but he definitely does...

Uncanny X-Men 273

I swear, this is Chris Claremont's favorite joke. He's used it before this moment, and he'll do it again. It's impactful the first time, but it does get old the more Claremont does it. However, we get the first highlight of the dynamic between Gambit and Wolverine -- which will be antagonistic for a while, but is fascinating.

Uncanny X-Men #274

Doesn't Gambit look sexy in his yellow team uniform?? ;)

Btw - as I mentioned earlier, this is the first issue Gambit and Rogue appear in together. Though they be miles and miles and miles apart.

Uncanny X-Men #275

The whole crux of this arc, that I've been kind of ignoring, involves Xavier being brainwashed in space (or something) and of course the X-Men get involved in space politics (again). Honestly, space stories are Claremont's favorite trope, so it doesn't surprise me that the end of his run are filled with a couple of them.

Anyway -- if there's one person impervious to Gambit's charms - it's Jubilee. They get to hang out a lot during this arc, and it's really delightful since they team up to kind of figure out what is going on with Xavier acting weird and all the odd space kool-aide people are drinking.

Uncanny X-Men #277

I actually really like this cover. Gambit's got a sword and a spear! Plus, he looks like his 90s cool self now. The blue and yellow uniform doesn't suit him AT. ALL. But we don't have to deal with it too much longer...

Uncanny X-Men #277

See... I told you Claremont was gonna do this again, lol.

Uncanny X-Men #277

The nice thing about this whole space arc is that Gambit really gets to come into his own. He now looks cool (note the red eyes are here!). He's doing fun stuff. He's taking on Wolverine and holding his own. He's being smart and tactical and an asset. They've paired him with some great X-Men to start off with, and it's paying off.

Meanwhile, we don't really know much about him. As many of the other characters state, his background is shrouded in mystery... (whether you like what it actually is can be debated as we get to it). But for now, he's intriguing as a new comer.

And this is where we're at as two story lines come crashing together and our two romantic leads get to meet for the first time.... off panel.

But I'll get more into that next time when I discuss... The Muir Island Saga!

[bullet-prooflove]

No. 24 She's mean and she's mine for Fbi most wanted Remy. TIA

Companion piece to Sober (NSFW) - Remy realises you have issues with soberiety.

You don’t hide your addiction from Remy. You talk about it openly with him. He knows that you got hooked undercover, that you used coke and booze to cope. You’d been in a spiral for a couple of years before Jubal had forced you to confront the problem. By the time you’d met him you’d been sober for three years.

“I was a mean drunk Remy.” You’d told him as you made tea in his kitchen. “I burned through all my friends, my family. It took me a long time to make amends.”

He knows how isolated you’d become, how you’d pushed people away in the throes of your addiction. It made it easier to reconcile the drinking. He had kissed away the shame that crept up your cheeks, whispered the sweetest reassurances against your skin as he held you close.

“You’re bigger than your addiction.” He had reminded you. “You aren’t the same person you were back then.”

It’s true, Remy believes that with every single fibre of his being. The job you do, it may be high pressure but you know your triggers, you manage it well. Which is why he’s surprised when your brother sends him a 911 text to discuss his concerns about you.

“She’s drinking again.” Henry informs him as he sits across from Remy at the coffeeshop a few doors down from 26 Fed. “I saw her in a club a couple of days ago, she had a glass in her hand and she was with another guy. I’m sorry Remy but this is what it was like last time…”

Remy holds his hand up to silence the other man as he struggles to process the information. He admits he’s been busy over the past few weeks, Wyoming, Richmond, Bethesda but when he has been home he’s been attentive. He would know if something was going on with you. As for another man being on the scene, he doesn’t understand when you would even have the time, let alone the inclination. Remy’s pretty confident in his ability to keep you satisfied.

“What did he look like?” He asks Henry and the other man withdraws his phone from his jacket pocket.

“I took a picture.” He says before pushing the device towards Remy. “In case you needed proof.”

It’s a image of you and a man he knows well. You’re standing alongside each other at a bar. His hand is on your lower back, almost protectively. There’s a glass in your hand, a cocktail with a cherry sticking out of it. You’re wearing a cobalt blue dress, one that clings to your form. It’s that dress that makes everything click into place for Remy, that makes him take another at the glass in your hand.

“She’s not drinking again.” He says quietly before he zooms in on the glass and tilts the phone back towards Henry. “It’s a Shirley Temple, a non-alcoholic cocktail, it’s grenadine and ginger ale. It’s what she drinks when she’s on UC ops so that she blends in and that guy she’s with? His name is Omar Zidan, he’s her partner.”

Remy remembers that night well because he’d barely been able to keep his hands off you when you’d stepped out of the bedroom wearing dress. You’d been interrupted by OA’s arrival, the younger man had joked about having Cinderella back by midnight. When you’d slinked in at one am, you’d been sober as a judge and ready for a little play. He’d made love with you in the bed you shared until the sun came up.

“You don’t have to worry about her.” He reassures Henry. “Your sister, she’s solid.”

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[angelfirstclass]

Rogue above all else.

This is fan post declaring my love for Rogue and that I love her more than I am attached to a particular ship. For all I know, Rogue can be with whoever she wants to be with and I'm sticking by her. I am an equal opportunity Rogue shipper and have liked and enjoyed Rogueneto and Romy fanfics and art and etc. I don't believe in ship wars and just want to promote my girl.

I love Rogue. I think she is the most beautiful animated character and she is such a complex, interesting character from the comics to cartoons to the movies. Her powers are super interesting with or without Carole Danvers' superpowers and make her an empathetic person.

Firstly, I love that Rogue is the daughter of Mystique and Destiny. What a crazy upbringing that must have been and so unique. I love that she was born and raised in Mississippi and still keeps her roots, but then became the adopted daughter of two smart, ambitious, and strong lesbian women. The backstory of them raising her is super interesting because there is such a conflict of interests for Destiny and Mystique from knowing Rogue was going to be a powerful mutant, using and training her to be part of the Brotherhood, introducing her to people like Magneto, and also loving her like a daughter.

Mystique is such a unique character and such a powerful woman that it makes sense why Rogue is as powerful and strong willed as she is. In my headcanon X-men First Class stuff still applies so Raven is still Charles' adopted little sister and so Rogue is like Charles Xavier's distant niece which makes things interesting. Raven and Destiny hid Anna Marie away while she was growing up, but came to Xavier to help her after her run in with Carole Danvers. They had to reluctantly give Rogue up to the X-men in order to save her, but it was a bittersweet moment that Irene and Raven both regret.

Secondly, I love Rogue's vulnerability and empathy. Her absorbing powers are so unique and bring up a lot of questions about what makes a person. She can absorb powers, memories, and feelings and can even hold on too long and absorb entire psyches and life forces. In the beginning of her story way back in Avengers Annual 10, she is bad and unafraid to use her powers. She not only uses her powers indiscriminately, but she also isn't afraid to kiss people to absorb them.

The Rogue we see in X-men 97 is far more tempered and though has a past, has learned to use her powers sparingly and not want to hurt people. She uses her super strength and flying powers, but rarely uses her absorption power because it is a double edged sword. She may gain powers and drain energy from people, but gets their memories, traumas, fears, etc. which may not be a pleasant experience.

Thirdly, I like pretty much all forms of Rogue. I love X-men Evo Rogue for her gothic personality. I think a teen Rogue would be introverted and different to most girls her age. I like Wolverine and the X-men Rogue for being independent and Wolverine's best friend. I like their dynamic and I like when she is Wolverine's partner and team mate and platonically just gets him because she has absorbed him and they're so much alike. The most vulnerable of all Rogues is Movie Rogue which is a controversial portrayal of Rogue. I personally think Anna Paquin is gorgeous and good actor who portrayed the sweet, vulnerable Rogue to a tee.

This Rogue wasn't raised by Mystique and she didn't absorb Carole Danvers' powers yet. She was a scared teen girl who couldn't touch people and whose storyline revolved around her feelings about her powers and wanting to have physical intimacy. It's not my favorite version of her, but it did beautifully show Rogue's inner angst.

My favorite version of her is X-men TAS or 97 Rogue who I think is Rogue Prime. She is the daughter of Destiny and Mystique, has absorbed Carole Danvers' powers, is the ex of Erik Lensherr, in an on off relationship with Remy Le Beau, sister of Kurt Wagner, great friend and dedicated X-man, and all around bad ass chick.

She has the Brotherhood/Magneto's ex/Mystique's daughter thing as her background which makes her a complicated character with a dark past which makes for juicy storylines, but she is mature enough to be fully reformed and a good person. Her duality and grey toned sense of the world makes her so well suited to complex men like Erik Lensherr and Remy LeBeau who are not traditional good guys with squeaky clean pasts and morals.

I love X-men 97 Rogue. I love Lenore Zann. I love the sass, the Southern charm and cute accent, I love her no bs attitude, her compassionate heart, and her empathy. Rogue is my Queen and I stan.

[erigold13261]

>>:3 enjoy my happy headcanons

1. Mystery man's real name is Martin but Tatiana calls him Marty McFly when the two are alone

2. Sayu crew owns an DDR mashine and Sofa has the highest score out of everyone

3. EX-Jay play D&D together and recently BJ2 joined in

4. You better believe Neon is little spoon! I mean look at his partners prime cuddle material

5. Mayday used a preppy, cheerleader type girl Mama went through a gothic lolita phase and J loved dressing like a Victorian gentleman... Let's just say they don't talk about it a lot today, except J because of course he would

6. West and Eve meet up for Just Dance and chill, it gets intense sometimes with how dedicated these two are

7. Yiruk, Kayne and Dew got into trouble for a prank involving duck tape, mentos and Soda but not in the you think it would

8. Dodo loves Ena! he even did a cosplay once maybe even commission Remi for some of his OC's

9. Yinu watches Samurai jack with Orange! They think it's fun! ( J not so much because of the amount of robot brutally destroyed in the show)

10. Zuke dreamed of having a late night talk show when he was younger, think something similar to Eric Andre

1). I feel like this is a reference that is going over my head. But cool headcanon! Not what I imagine Mystery Man's name to be, but a good one to have! Tatiana being silly my beloved

2). Sofa and Dodo just having dance-offs where Dodo puts too much effort in and ends up just dancing a random dance and not even hitting the right buttons while Sofa is expertly dancing and hitting every button perfectly every time.

3). Pft, what a bunch of losers /j. I can see Noa being a DM and he regrets it almost immediately as he now has like 3 murder hobos in his campaign.

4). I like the idea that Neon switches but is big spoon most often. Or at least he wants to be, it can't be comfortable to sleep on a metal arm wrapped around you. But same thing with being little spoon, it would be difficult with his head and body. Not to mention DJ is probably not the most touchy person, and even though Mama likes spooning, it is difficult with Neon's metal body.

They try to use blankets or something to soften the metal, but it just leads to Neon getting overheated and very paranoid/feeling trapped. Which is another thing that probably stops him from being little spoon a lot.

Like I LOVE the idea, but unfortunately it has to be a conscious and awake cuddle session for spooning to work, otherwise if any of them try to sleep/nap, it will just end up bad for someone. But Neon switching a lot and being little spoon every so often is a very nice thought that I love1

5). Hmmmm, not how I see them. I like Mama as a flowey, pastel colored skirts and dresses kind of girl. And Mayday I could see going through a goth phase more than a preppy girl phase.

HOWEVER. Mayday trying to fit in and make friends so she pretends to be a preppy cheerleader kind of girl is something I see happening. It didn't make her happy but it got her some friends (who were fake but at least she wasn't alone).

For Mama, I can see her always wanting to try gothic lolita fashion (and for those who don't know lolita is a legit fashion and is different from lolis or lolicons) as it is super pretty and cute, but never having enough money for it growing up and then feeling too old to ever try it once she was an adult. I can see her finally getting to live her dream one day for a Halloween party where she dresses up in lolita fashion (and then does so more regularly every so often for fun).

As for Neon, yeah. I can see him going through a phase like that for fun. Especially if he and Martha were dressing up together. He hasn't dressed up like that for a while until Carna wanted to be a kind of Victorian noble person for Halloween one year which sparked Neon to try and wear more outfits like that at times. Especially if Carna was also dressing up to go out so fea wasn't alone in looking dapper.

6). I'm so sorry but "just dance and chill" made me think of netflix and chill lol! Those two would not be doing THAT hahah. But no, I can see them dancing together for exercise and to just bond.

7). Okay, at first I'm thinking they made a makeshift bomb (by accident, they were not thinking), but you said it's not what I think so hmm..... I can't think of anything other than taping a bunch of mentos into a duct tape ball.

8). Don't know much about ENA, but sure, I can see Dodo liking that media. Maybe even showing Eve since they both have split color designs or something like that.

9). Don't know if Maragold would like Samurai Jack all that much. Not because it was bad, but because Maragold wouldn't really be interested all that much. They would watch it with Yinu to be nice at least, and honestly I actually don't think Maragold would like the robot violence that much too. Carna would love the violence in the show but think some scenes are too slow and get bored with it too (I have seen very little Samurai Jack and it's been years so yeah, memory might be bad).

10). Also don't know anything about Eric Andre, so uh, yeah. I can see Zuke wanting to be a show host one day though! That seems like something Zuke would want to do at some point, but ended up growing out of that dream later down the line.

[reasoningdaily]

Nostradamus was born Michel de Notredame in 1503 in Saint-Remy-de-Provence, France. It's fair to say Nostradamus didn't have a boring life. He originally worked as an apothecary, then attended the University of Montpelier to pursue a medical degree. Along the way, he was expelled for practicing a "manual trade" (the use of herbal remedies), which was considered "too low" for a doctor (via Biography).

The jury is out as to whether he eventually went back to school and received a medical license, but Biography points out he did work as a physician during the plague outbreak in Italy and France. In fact, he became a bit of a "celebrity" plague doctor for his progressive methods (for the time) in treating the plague, which included herbal mixes, hygiene, and removing corpses from cities to slow down the spread of the disease.

He eventually focused on writing almanacs and became an astrologer. His work was so popular that powerful figures of the time hired him to "read the stars" for them. One example was the Italian noblewoman Catherine de' Medici, who wanted to have horoscopes written for her children. Eventually she made him Counselor and Physician-in-Ordinary to her husband, King Henri II of France

Above all, however, Nostradamus is best known for his 942 poetic quatrains (four-line poems), which are supposed to predict a number of future events — some of them well into the future, according to Biography.

Some of Nostradamus' prophecies have come true ... maybe

Fototeca Storica Nazionale./Getty Images

Because Nostradamus' prophecies are written in poem form, they can be very vague. In fact, you could use the same exact poem to "predict" several incidents throughout history, some of them centuries apart. There have been instances, however, where some of his predictions seem very specific. For example:

"The young lion will overcome the older one / On the field of combat in a single battle / He will pierce his eyes through a golden cage / Two wounds made one, then he dies a cruel death" has been interpreted as a prediction of the death of King Henry II of France, who died in a jousting tournament when a younger opponent hit his face and caused a massive wound. The king died after 11 days of extreme pain (per Insider).

Another famous prophecy that appeared to come true referred to the devastating London fire of 1666: "The blood of the just will be demanded of London / Burnt by fire in the year '66 / The ancient Lady will fall from her high place / And many of the same sect will be killed." However, the poem seems to indicate the fire was caused by lightning, when in reality it started inside a bakery (via Insider).

Some of his prophecies were definitely wrong, though. For example, he predicted that in "The year one thousand nine ninety-nine seven month /  From the sky shall come a great King of terror." But nothing particularly terrible happened in September 1999 (per Biography).

The present year doesn't look good for humanity

Shutterstock

Nostradamus had a lot of terrible things to say about 2021. For this year alone, he predicted zombies, asteroids, and a plague, all with grim results. The predictions start pretty dark: "After great trouble for humanity, a greater one is prepared, / The Great Mover renews the ages: / Rain, blood, milk, famine, steel, and plague, / Is the heavens fire seen, a long spark running" (via 7News).

Experts believe the "great trouble" could refer to the COVID pandemic that started in 2020, with "a greater one" meaning the continuation of the virus into 2021. As for the "heaven's fire," turns out the massive Asteroid 2021 KT1 flew by Earth at 40,000 mph in early June, according to NASA's Center for Near Earth Object Studies (via USA Today). But since it missed and Earth is still intact, we can safely say at least this part of the prediction has failed so far.

For 2021, Nostradamus also warns us of "Few young people: half-dead to give a start," which seems to allude to some sort of zombie apocalypse (the half-dead) taking over the world. While we don't have (so far) any information of zombies taking over the planet, the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) is helping us get ready for it with their Zombie Preparedness Guide, just in case.

If we survive 2021, we'll be okay for a while

Shutterstock

Despite the grim predictions for 2021, Nostradamus' prophecies continue until the year 3797. So if we make it through potential asteroid crashes, famines, the plague, and a zombie apocalypse, humanity might survive an extra 1,500 years or so. Still, between 2021 and the end of times, Nostradamus predicted a lot of terrible things: wars, the coming of three Antichrists, and many plagues and pestilences, as related by The Sunday Post of Glasgow.

Many of these will leave the world in worse shape than it was before them, but not necessarily end it. At some point, Nostradamus predicted the third Antichrist will "rise over all the kings of the east" and trigger World War III. This won't be pretty and will last up to three decades, resulting in a lot of death and destruction. However, this won't be the end, either. 

According to The Sun, the true end is what Nostradamus called the "final conflagration," a series of extinction level events that might include super volcanoes, "fire from the sky," and what some believe could refer to a massive solar flare. While he doesn't give a date for the end of the world, the fact that his predictions end at a specific time (the year 3797) could be a sign that he believes this is when the end will come.

[tianarpowell]

Tiana told Remy, “The soup is pretty basic, if I’m being honest about it. Avocados, leeks, and just a little tomato… So we have to make sure we’re making it with the right proportions. On the show, it was this massive hit—Aarón Sánchez kept saying it reminded him of his favorite soups from childhood, and Gordon wanted to know what this really young chef had done aside from the bread bowl to ‘spice up the offering’. And the young chef kept telling them, I did this because I like easy-to-make recipes that you can cook when you’re feeling down, or not at one hundred percent. That really struck me. That’s why I wrote it down. I think we’re both feeling good today, but I want to taste that soup so I know just what that young chef was trying to present to Gordon and Aaron and Joe. It’s a passion of mine, making food that lifts the spirits. Maybe there’s something in this that can lift the spirits of the eater as well as the chef. Those are my thoughts.”

Tiana glanced over at Remy when, after a little bit more cooking, he asked her about her experience as a chef. “Third Street’s actually a very old job for me. I got out of culinary school when I was twenty-one. So it’s been four years, almost, that I was making those side dishes every night. My culinary school placed me at that restaurant because they thought it’d suit me better than other places in Redwood Hollow. And before Third Street, before culinary school, I cleaned dishes and cleaned kitchens nonstop. That was back in high school, when I had to do homework on top of all that cleaning. My friend Lottie used to tell me that I deserved more than that life. And she was right, I do. But everyone finds their feet somewhere. Everyone figures themself out someplace. And restaurants like Benbow Diner, where I bussed tables, were where I slowly turned into a chef. A chef, you might say?! Hard to believe! But anyone who’s cleaned for a long time can tell you that when you’re working on mindless things like that, you’re thinking, too. And I was thinking about the food at the diner. Planning out my future restaurant…”

Tiana continued, “Have I told you about my dream restaurant, Remy? It’s—well, I’ve been wanting to call it ‘Tiana’s Palace’ after a little banter my dad and I used to have when I was a child. It’ll be half Cajun food, New Orleans style, and half classical French. So we’ll be doing gumbo and crawdads and all that, on top of all the foods you’d want from a full French restaurant, like chicken cordon bleu or coq au vin.” She paused. “I want it to be after all my heroes when I was learning about Black culture in high school. People like George Washington Carver, who made up ways to use plain peanuts. And Rosa Parks, who was the bravest woman I could imagine, defying people’s rules the way she sat where she wanted to sit on that bus. Or MLK, of course! These people were legends in my teenaged eyes. But this restaurant, Remy, it’s gotta be the real deal. Or else I won’t be doing any of these things justice. I need to have the best Cajun-style dishes, the best French dishes…and that’s where the whole thing falls apart, because I know myself and I know that I’m not one of those perfect, highly-talented French chefs. I do a lot of things very well, but the classic French cuisine I know I want at this restaurant cannot be made by my hands.” She took a deep breath, like Remy had wanted them both to do every now and then while they were cooking. “It’s tough. Having a dream like that, knowing parts of it can’t happen right now. And I don’t have the funds. But I’ll be doing this the most honest way possible or not at all, and that means using my own hard work to sow the seeds for my restaurant’s existence. Clocking in every day with a smile; perfecting the cooking skills that are really mine, not just skills that I think I need to have to be ‘perfect’. Having fun every now and then, like this…so I remember why I dream about this restaurant literally at all. Do you have a goal like that, Remy? Something distant, but real enough to give you strength each day? For me, it’s a restaurant I can really share with the people I love. Food and fun. That’s me at my deepest, and it’s what I dream about, day and night.” Tiana smiled wistfully. The restaurant seemed realer in her daydreams somehow, more colorful and musical now that people were giving her encouragement every day. She knew her friend and confidant Remy was largely to thank.

“So,” Tiana said in response to Remy’s once-again brilliant cooking suggestions. “Sumac and lemon for a touch of sour, plus dill and fresh cream. I’ve got some dill—I’ll check if it’s still good.” As she opened up her fridge to examine that dill, she nodded excitedly at Remy’s idea to do a dessert. “Yes, yes! A dessert would be the perfect addition!” She sniffed the dill in her fridge—still great! “And let’s absolutely go with a genius idea of yours, Remy—I think we’ve given MasterChef the ego boost it needs for the day.” She laughed hard.

.

"C'mon, that was all you. If I did anything, it was just giving you a little push," he said with a jerk of his shoulder. Still, it was nice to know that Tiana appreciated him enough to credit his (and others) help as a main reason why she got this promotion she was so happy about.

"That's good reasoning," Remy nodded. "Well, I haven't done an avocado soup before, so... I'll trust the process." What he really wanted was for her to go over that recipe with him, so he could know what she was about to do, and, in his position as professional baker, give her a few notes if necessary. But part of experimenting was also trusting the other to do what they thought was right. And, if Tiana had faith in this particular flour, Remy would have faith in it too.

And, of course, Remy grinned wide at her compliments. One thing was his family moaning and nodding happily when they tried his food, wolfing it down as quickly as they could; one thing was his brother distractedly nodding all the time, looking at Remy as if he were focused when in reality, they both knew he had no idea was Remy was talking about; another thing was Tiana, experienced cook, now head chef, lauding his choices.

They spent a few minutes focused on their tasks, Remy with his whole concentration on the meatballs he was working on, Tiana with the sauce. He pushed the chopped onions, garlic and the cloves in a bowl with his knife, emptied the ground pork package, added an egg and the spices he had set apart, and got to mixing everything. Once he was finished, there was only making the meat into the eponymous balls and putting them in the sauce. Instead of doing that, he found himself watching Tiana's hands as she worked, in a professional, steady rhythm. "Have you ever worked in a restaurant besides Third Street?" Remy asked her out of a sudden. He was now getting a good idea of how Tiana was like in the kitchen, but he had started to get curious about her. "Have you been working for long there?"

Her next words took him by surprise. "What? You can't possibly be bad at cooking with other people," Remy frowned. "Look at us! Also, look at you! You got that promotion! They wouldn't have given it to you if you didn't work well in a team." Though he did have an idea of what she was talking about. A very general idea: Remy hadn't ever worked in a kitchen with other people. It had always been him alone, working three pans at the same time, organizing himself on the kitchen counter so as to manage the cooking times, groaning to himself when something didn't go according to plan. "Look, you'll learn how to guide others. I guess it's just something you get as you earn more experience, y'know?" He was rather proud of himself, at least, for being pretty good at this cooking-with-others business so far. And, so far, Tiana was a pretty good kitchen partner, too.

Remy scoffed and looked down at the meatballs he was finally rolling in his hands, now that the sauce was simmering. This was the first time someone had ever told him they were relaxed around him. It almost sounded like a joke. "Good to know, chef. Unconventional," Remy repeated, and smiled back. "I'd say some potatoes can round it off well, something softer, maybe with a little of turmeric and some more paprika too, to spice it up a bit. But..." He sighed and leaned back against the wall, deep in thought. "That'd be the conventional choice. I love me some good potatoes, just lie anyone, but that's the easy way out." Remy wouldn't say it, but as much as he loved his Nana, he knew that's the way she would have gone. "I'd say... Something sour. Just a little bit, to complement the beets. Yeah, we can use the sumac, and..." He glanced at the glass of lemonade. "... Some lemon juice with garlic and olive oil, yeah, that should do the trick. And some dill to garnish would be nice, if you got any, and maybe a dollop of fresh cream, to soften the edges just a bit, so we avoid ourselves overcrowding the dish with potatoes." Remy chuckled. "It's looking a lot like borscht here. I'm not complaining, though."

He quickly washed his hands, had a sip of his lemonade, and turned to face Tiana. "Something for dessert, to finish our full-course meal? I got a couple ideas."

[beardedmrbean]

Okay mostly know Indy from clips(Disney hurry up and put the films on plus) but didn’t Indy try to save artifacts so that the NAZIS and Soviets wouldn’t have them?

While we don’t have to take stuff like the British museum, but after all these church burnings, statues being destroyed, and other shit (especially in the Middle East) I would prefer artifacts to stay in a secure place rather than being at the mercy of emotionally immature people.

Sorry this took so long, keep getting distracted by things and people. Mostly people.

Ya the British Museum bit is a quality observation since there's a post on here that goes over that situation perfectly, guy from I believe Iraq visiting the museum and crying in front of an exhibit of stuff from "home" cue the ignoramuses with no capacity think of any possibility beyond 'white people bad' displaying a stunning lack of critical thinking skills and outright ignorance, until someone points out that if someone had bothered to read the article they would have seen they were tears of joy.

For Indy, the first movie 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' he finds the Jewish artifact generally referred to as the "Ark of the Covenant" got the broken OG 10 commandments tablets, some manna, and Aaron's staff in it, manages to get that away from the Nazis because just because they hate Jews it doesn't mean they won't try and take advantage of their sacred artifacts.

Winds up in storage in a warehouse in the US that holds all kinds of things that are on the do not touch list.

In regards to the movies it's the only thing he did not get back to it's rightful owners.

Temple of Doom, the whole thing was with stones that were somehow magical and provided prosperity to the village where one of them was, their sacred object gets all three but loses two when they start getting charged up off of Indy's grumpiness but he saves the one that belongs to the village and gets it back to them.

Last Crusade at the opening (RIP River Phoenix) there's a cross he's trying to retrieve from a guy that will pretty much just sell it on the black market, not an object with any specific owner other than maybe the Vatican and he says it belongs in a museum.

Which I can agree with given the type of object it is, to a point, maybe ask the Pope if it's ok.

Then it's looking for the literal Holy Grail, which can't leave the spot in well they used Petra for the outside shots so let's go with that, so it's still where it was when he started just underground a bit maybe.

Crystal Skull, took it back to where it belonged and the aliens took off in their space ship since they needed the last one's head before they could do that.

Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, I can't think of any artifacts that he specifically recovered and took away once he was old enough to know the score, went in to a mummy's tomb as a child with TE Lawrence and a few other folks who did stuff but he was like 8 what could he do. Same with meeting up with Teddy Roosevelt on a safari in Africa with several other big names if you know names from that time.

Tolstoy's Bible might count, but he traded Tolstoy his baseball cards for that so fair deal (wild thing to say) got to hang out with the last round of Hapsburg's in Austria too, really top quality show.

Kinda jumps from childhood to him late teens, riding with Pancho Villa meeting Remy (RIP Ronny Coutteure) who wants to go back to Belgium since well that whole first big tussle with Germany and Austria Hungary known as WW1 is going on and he wants to defend his home, so lot of WW1 stuff there not much archeology, do get a episode with Tim McInnerny playing Kafka that's a lot of laughs but that's an espionage thing, whole episode played out like Kafka wrote it fun stuff.

After all that he goes back to the US, and there's no archeology at all, rocket building with Goddard, college dorm mate with Elliot Ness, learns Jazz from some of the masters in a episode featuring Harrison Ford (finally) Civil rights stuff here and there.

But ya, all of the stuff he finds winds up in the hands of it's rightful owner.

As unproblematic archeologists go he's up at the top I'd say.

Think Spielberg did that all on purpose, ark thing works for him since he's Jewish so he can decide what he wants there.

_______________________

This was long, sorry. Hope it's a bit interesting at least.

[sweatforged]

"didn't  know  shit  when  i  got  here  either."  silas  hummed  along  a  little  nod,  "after  feelin'  pretty  damn  useless  out  there,  i  did  some  readin'.  turns  out  a  lotta  shit  the  internet  says  about  greek  gods  is  true."  he'd  been  one  of  those  who  refused  to  believe  any  god  existed  anywhere,  because  if  they  did...  he'd  ask  himself  why  the  fuck  they  hated  his  guts.  "nemesis  is  uhh,  all  about  revenge  an'  justice...  i  think.  been  a  bit  since  i  read  up  on  that  stuff.  from  what  i've  seen...  that's  gonna  become  part  o'ya  in  some  way."  like  atticus  saw  so  much  more  than  the  others &  couldn't  shut  his  brain  off.  remy  had  wings,  alejandro  had  the  rage.  they  all  carried  something  of  their  parents  they  couldn't  hide.  "good.  demigod  seems  to  be  the  specialty  on  everybody's  menu  once  you're  outta  camp."  it  was  crazy,  really.  "the  ambrosia  was  rough,  yeah."  he  remembered  his  fight  after,  though  he  didn't  really  want  to.

  "they  sent  us  there  to  relax,  ended  up  in  fuckin'  final  destination.  they  made  it  sound  like  an  accident,  but  it  happend  to  all  of  us  in  different  places.  pretty  sure  someone  there  had  it  out  for  us."  for  a  moment  there,  he  really  thought  he'd  die  at  fucking  disneyland.

"Nemesis." Ezra offered up easily. Mostly because he didn't really know what that meant other than his mother had an edgy-ass name. "Knew the word but never knew it was a name 'til now. But I didn't know jack about gods before I got here, anyway."

He let out a small laugh as he put down the other weapon he had. "Pretty sure I almost died when I drank that weird shit they handed me in the fancy cup. Was on high alert before that. If there's somethin' higher than 'high alert,' that's what I've been on ever since." Too many questions, too few people with answers, and even less were the amount willing to give them.

But then those words actually sunk in. "You almost died at Disney?"

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[runsonlovepower]

if I do redo it I may have to kill some darlings but these two darlings from a chapter 5 that will inevitably be scraped for parts can’t be killed… they are plot-irrelevant character fun that I need to keep. Somewhere. have these no context bits from 5 chapters into a highly au story

>>

“We,” Sora announces with a flourish, “are out of toilet paper.”

“You’re kidding,” Roxas says.

Sora shrugs. Alas, just as humans need to keep going to the grocery store and washing the dishes, they tend to have a finite set of resources, which is perfect in the sense that both Sora and the narrative need the crew back on Traverse. It’s less perfect in the sense that there’s no toilet paper, but interspace travel comes with its risks.

“Also I’m getting cabin fever and I want Remy’s,” Sora amends. “How’s the physical therapy going?”

“Remy’s? I can’t believe you’re going to blow that 10k so soon.”

“Bad,” Vanitas wheezes. He’s on the floor next to Roxas, his back propped up with a foam roller and his right arm held about as far over his head as he can comfortably get it, which is not very far. Xion is in the corner with her laptop, typing something, and Ventus is a few feet away sitting against his bed, watching Sora curiously. His mouth ticks when Vanitas comments.

“Rest in peace,” Sora says, and moves on. “We can call to get a safe place to land at Port 14. So anytime we start moving, we just gotta let them know beforehand and they’ll have a space for us. After that we can go park downtown somewhere.”

“Port 14 and ‘safe’ aren’t usually in the same sentence,” Ven remarks quietly. His voice has been getting a lot stronger recently, it’s just that he tends to be quiet on purpose. “Do you… know someone?”

Sora gestures nonspecifically. “Yeah! Don’t worry about it. We know an air traffic captain, so we always have a space to land. And sometimes a blind eye to smuggle things, which right now means you.”

Ventus nods, seemingly satisfied with that answer. Vanitas, very occupied, does not respond to that at all, though if he were not very occupied he would have said something like “Why do I feel like that ‘sometimes’ is more of a risk than you’re making it sound”. But he doesn’t, because his tension cords have locked so tight around his pectorals that stretching them back out is taking all of his concentration.

“Alright, times up.”

Roxas reaches up to tap at Vanitas’ arm, and he jerks away and puts his hand down, huffing a breath. “Don’t touch me,” he groans. “Gods that’s hard, I’m going back to bed.”

“Did it hurt?”

“No,” Vanitas grumbles.

“Good. Then stop complaining, you have one more. We’re only going until it’s uncomfortable, not until it hurts. If you push through pain, you’ll make it worse, and it’ll take longer to heal. But if you don’t stretch it, it’ll get stuck like this,” Roxas says. He’s recited this at least twice already to try and get it through Vanitas’ head, but Vanitas is very obviously posturing and prickly and does not want to be cooperative. In theory, at least -- he hasn’t outright refused to do anything Roxas has asked him so far. Ventus, however, says ok to pretty much everything, but finds it difficult to do most of them. Roxas is trying to put together something simpler, after he’s done here. If there were two of him-- oh wait now hold on a second.

“Sora,” Roxas says, fishing a small tablet out of his pocket and propping it up on the floor, “be useful, help Ventus with this.”

“Yes chef,” Sora says.

The tablet’s just playing a gif in the middle of an article, someone in yoga pants and a neon pink shirt demonstrating a simple movement with their back on the floor and their knees in different stretches. Ven blinks at it curiously, and slowly maneuvers himself into what he hopes is the right pose.

Sora seems to approve, anyways, so he copies the movement and immediately understands why it’s a stretch, not a pose. The action of pulling his heel back strains a set of muscles in his core, especially if his back comes up off the ground. He sighs, and scrunches his face to get the exercise right. It’s not painful — thank goodness. He has the cool gel under his bandages to thank for that, those patches are coming off soon — but it is uncomfortable. And awkward to get right. Sora gently adjusts his position, and Ventus moves just a little incorrectly, and--

feels that like dying coals with electrified edges, the metal pinning him to the tile shuddering and sending streaks of pain up to his teeth, even as he drifts slowly underwater to

his back pressed into something soft and air-conditioning-cold, heart fluttering and catching in his chest as a flustered laugh bubbles up from inside him, his shoes aren’t even

against the floor curled in a familiar lap with tear tracks sticky and dry on his face, one hand on his stomach and one against his neck to pull Its tendrils out from

“Ventus?”

— chokes.

“You okay?”

Ven stares. Sora’s image shifts imperceptibly, as if he’s watching a screen too close, probably the present but possibly anywhere in his melted memories. “…Yeah.”

“You’re sure? You can stop.”

Has he been doing the exercise? He stops. “No, yeah, I’m fine. It just—“ Ventus huffs out a breath, willing the lights to stop drifting — digs his nails into his palm, but nothing changes. “…Feels weird. R-reminds me of,” gestures. Shrugs.

“Oh!” Sora’s hand leaves his stomach. The LEDs slide back into focus. “Sorry. Maybe we should do something else?”

“That one doesn’t work either?” Roxas asks. He sounds disappointed. Ven shrinks a bit.

“It works,” he says, hurriedly. “I was just -- it was awkward to get it right. I wasn’t in the right position, I haven’t tried it yet.”

Roxas gives him a look. “That was four separate excuses. But alright, try again, let me know if it doesn’t feel good.”

Six. It’s not that doing any of this is physically hard. It’s just -- that, happens, a lot. Still. Frustratingly, still happens whenever Ventus has a couple seconds of not thinking, or moving weirdly, or something reminds him that he’s got a couple missing pieces. Which feels backwards, it feels like he should be getting flung into the past if he forgets about that stuff, but he doesn’t really have the desire to argue with the gas leaks in his head, he would rather them just stop. He’d been successfully repressing half of them for long enough that it feels like the extra violence just broke the dam. After Sora moves his hand from his stomach to his shoulder, he can do the dumb little heel shifts just fine.

He has a little flickering moment of wondering if this kind of thing is happening to Vanitas. It’s pretty quickly smothered by distaste as no, he hasn’t had any trouble with walking or talking or anything, of course it isn’t. Vanitas has made it pretty clear he means to get up and go home, he’s not having a mental breakdown, he’s built different and doesn’t need anyone anymore. Or maybe he’s being normal, and Ven’s just been falling apart for a while, and that was mean.

Roxas releases Vanitas from the arm stretch, and Vanitas immediately rolls off of the foam cylinder.

“Good job,” Roxas says. Vanitas sits up slowly and looks away, grumbling. He looks away directly into Sora’s line of sight, so Sora gives him a grin and a thumbs up, and Vanitas startles and vehemently looks in a Different Unoccupied Direction.

“Now just stay semi active today. Nothing wrong with taking a nap, just try not to lay in bed for hours.”

“Ooh! Pick me, I got it!” Sora bounces back up, raising his hand. “Vanitas can come help me do inventory before we leave! We need toilet paper and rice, and we can grab a couple fetch requests before we go home so we have something to do when we get there. He can also help us figure out what he needs for him to get back to work?”

That last part was a hopeful question, and Vanitas’ ears prick. So they do plan on releasing him. Or at least, with revisions. Vanitas would rather know what they are. “Fine,” he says.

Ven breaks out of his stretch to scroll down on the tablet to the next one, scrutinizing it before laying back down and letting his knees fall to one side. “I’m sure he already knows what he needs,” he mutters in response.

“Yes,” Vanitas replies, testily. “I do like to keep track of my employment.”

“Mm. He’s done a great job of teaching you to prioritize Him.”

Vanitas bristles. Sora, blissfully, interrupts. “How ‘bout you, Ventus? Where’s home for you?”

“O-oh, um.” Immediately, all of the provocative liquid-sarcasm disappears from Ven’s face and voice and entire mannerisms. He blinks, wide-eyed. “I don’t… know?”

Sora cocks his head like a puppy. Ven stutters. “I mean, I lived mostly on the East side before this, so, but I don’t anymore. I guess. I don’t really have… a place. In mind.”

Vanitas scoffs. “Come on, just click the keys for your passenger class carrier ship a few times and you’ll find it.”

“I… don’t have it,” Ven cages.

“What?”

“I sold it.”

“You sold the Wayfinder?!”

“I didn’t think I’d need it, Vanitas!”

“What did I say about yelling,” Roxas does not yell, but he raises his voice just below it. Ven and Vanitas shut up, and Ven is left tapping at the tile flooring awkwardly, regretting speaking up quite a lot for reasons that can probably just boil down to feeling obnoxious. Vanitas does not regret yelling, because he’s pretty sure he left a good pair of jeans in the Wayfinder.

Serenely, Sora continues where he left off. “If you don’t have a place you want to go, would it help to have a thing you want to do?”

“What?”

“Like, a job, or a hobby. Traverse is really big, we’re not just gonna drop you off downtown. We can decide where you want to go in however long it takes you to figure out what you’re doing. What do you want to do?”

Ven feels a weird emotion about that, and that’s about as far as he wants to introspect. This is a lot of thinking to do all at once, for someone who still can’t conceptualize the next week much less finding a job, to be honest. Sora makes him feel lost, a lot, but none of it seems to be on purpose, it’s all just… too much for him to really handle. “I don’t know,” he says, truthfully.

“That’s ok, we can figure it out.”

“We’ll mess around with it while you two are doing inventory,” Roxas says. “Swap me, you go. Just let me know when you figure out when we’re going to leave.”

Sora folds out of his crossed legs and steps over to Vanitas, while Roxas scoots to help Ventus. “You wanna go now, or rest any?” Sora asks.

“I don’t care.”

“You do too care. Bored or tired?”

Vanitas grimaces. “Bored. Sure.”

“Alright! Up we go. You two, I swear,” Sora says, rolling his eyes as one would do to a rebellious teenager. Xion, in the corner, does the thing where she exhales through her nose instead of laughing, and Vanitas tries not to feel a little made fun of. He’s been trying to act unaffected and distant and cool, not -- like, laughably emo. Highwind might be a little too… smart for that? No. Breezy for it? Maybe.

Whatever. Vanitas -- he hates this soooooo so much -- grips Sora’s shoulder with his good arm, and tries to put even weight on his bad arm and good leg to stand upright. His right arm still won’t handle his body weight, despite his tension cords acting like it will, and his left ankle is a useless floppy thing that Roxas insists he has to be very careful with but should not boot in order for it to get better, and his chest and stuttered breathing still won’t support either of them. So he practically melts into Sora in order to not fall over for the fifth time, again, and wonders for a second time why they don’t think he’s cool and unaffected.

Sora helps him up by the middle. His hands leave uncomfortable prickling spots where they touch him. Vanitas would love to be able to walk normally.

“Stick,” Roxas says, grabbing Vanitas’ PVC pipe cane by the end and flipping it in his hand to hold out. Vanitas takes it, and Sora frowns at it for a second. His expression clears a second later, though, and he eases off of Vanitas to lead him to wherever they keep the inventory.

———————

———————

“Are you that desperate to get rid of us?” Vanitas says flatly -- well, it was going to be jokingly, to be honest, but everything he says sounds like sarcasm.

“No, I wanna get out of Bastion. This place is depressing,” Sora counters.

Oh. He’s not wrong, it is. Vanitas changes the subject back. “Well, we have no toilet paper. Are we done here?”

That grin means he’s in on a joke now. Sora looks pleased with himself. “Not yet! I want to find something, and I know it’s down here.” He brings down a whole nother box. “We’re done doing inventory, though. You checked all the items?”

“Yes.”

“Then stick around for a few more minutes, I’ll find it.” He skitters back up the ladder.

A couple things just get tossed to the ground as he searches. Vanitas grabs most of them as they fall, putting them in one spot on the table. He’s supposed to be helping organize, anyways.

It doesn’t take much longer to get to the thing he came for. “Hahaaaa!” Sora crows, triumphantly. “I found it!”

He jumps down from the boxes and hides something behind his back before presenting it to Vanitas in a flourish.

“Ta-da! I figure we’re about the same height, it’s not specifically right or left handed. And it’s not a piece of PVC pipe!”

Vanitas blinks at it. It is not, luckily, a piece of PVC pipe — however, when Sora mentioned he had a cane before, Vanitas had sort of expected… well, he doesn’t know, either something super plain and clinical or something fancy, like those canes older rich folks will get customized out of imported wood. It is a hard plastic rod with a rubber end and a wooden handle, which has been rather badly carved into what looks like a baseball hat with googly eyes. The rod is decorated with fading stickers that say “#1!” or “block this overhead” or other sayings and designs that Sora probably picked up at random and stuck on there immediately. There is scuffed yellow paint stained on the carved pieces. It is… severely uncool.

Sora scratches the back of his head, sheepishly. “I tried to carve the handle into a duck. Here, try standing with it.”

Obligingly, Vanitas tests it gingerly on the left, then the right — he’s not sure which arm to use. His right hand doesn’t have… the most reliable grip. At least until his right stops being sensitive, he swaps back to the left. It is a good height, and the duck handle has been worn smooth with use. The rubber base doesn’t slide around. He’s not in a balancing act while standing. An improvement.

“You looked really uncomfortable with us helping you walk. So I hope this makes it easier to do it yourself?” Sora says, tentatively.

Vanitas startles. Maybe Sora is more observant than he thought. “…Yeah,” he says, for lack of a better response.

“Nice. Now let’s go tell the others we’re tragically out of toilet paper, and we need to go home.”

an odd sensation descends upon me (would like to work on sprawl au because I really want to get to chapters 6-7 and 13 but has dedicated a lot of time already to an outline and it would involve redoing a chapter or two and sections in between to get it to go) (but the current obsession is not that) (also I need to work on game jam writing it is 6 days until the end of November)

[blue-writes-things]

Like the Back of My Hand

Remus Lupin x Reader | Fluff (and angst if you squint)

“Why were you out in the forest? You’re not trying to prank me are you?” “What? Never! We’ve given up trying to prank you, you always see them coming!”

| Masterlist |

Words: 2256 A/N: Bold is other people's thoughts (will make sense in the fic), also I’m not used to this weird post formatte thing [tumblr] has going on so I’m sorry about the strange paragraphing 

Warning: Some swearing, very mild spice at the end, just kissing tho and angst some if you squint

Feedback is always appreciated! - Blue

Sometimes it was hard to walk around Hogwarts, with the mix of the verble talk, and the internal thoughts you could hear. When you're tired it’s even worse, like how you can’t concentrate on anything right now. You were a mix of hyper aware and completely unaware of everything around you.

Like how you have no clue what Remus is saying as he walks right next to you, but you know what that first year is hoping you’re having for dinner, and how she hates the girl she’s talking to.

You snap back to reality when Remus touches your shoulder, making you jump slightly, “You ok y/n? You’ve been really spacey all day” His eyebrows are frowned with a tight line of a concerned smile on his lips

“Oh yeah, I’m all good, just sleepy” You smile reassuring him, he didn’t believe you one bit but thought better to push it right now.

“I’m good, I promise!” Saying you were ‘fine’ or ‘ok’ told Remus you weren't ‘fine’ or ‘ok’ and in honesty, you were good, and you were sleepy, but you were also anxious, and overwhelmed. But he didn’t need to know that.

You looped your arm with his and continued to walk to the library together, the full moon was this Sunday, and you knew he liked to be with you when it was close, something about how calming you are, and how you always seem to know what to say to make him feel better around a moon.

He didn’t know how you knew what to do to help him leading up to and after a full, you treated him slightly different, never pushed him too much, but still made him rest more and remember to take care of himself. He had a tendency to forget about his general health and wellbeing around moons.

It seemed like Moony was also calmer around you. The day of the moon when the wolf was right under his skin, iching to get out. When his patience was running thin and he was snappy at people. When the wolf would cloud his mind during the day more. When he would almost growl at people (or the time he almost bit Peter for being so annoying)

You knew just what to say to get him to settle, often whispering things like “Just a little longer, wait a little longer for me” in his ear almost like you were talking to the wolf directly, he would give an almost unnoticeable nod and would settle.

It was only after a bit when Remus registered what you had said he would ask you about it; “What was it that you said earlier? About waiting a little longer?” “I don’t know what your talking about Rem”

He was a tad worried you knew about him being a werewolf, he hasn’t told you as he’s scared you will reject him and be scared of him.

Yet that was the last thing you would do, he meant way too much to you to let something like that push you apart. Plus, how can you judge someone for being ‘different’ when you were yourself?

The other marauders had been helping Remus think of some way to tell you about the wolf, Remus had been crushing on you for a while now, as long as you’d been crushing on him, so before anything could happen he wanted to tell you ‘So you could run if you wanted to’

You knew they’d made a plan but you didn’t know what it was. It was strangely refreshing to not be aware of everything going on.

“So uh, if you’re up to it, er me and the guys found this place in the forest awhile ago” During a moon “and I was wondering if you’d like to see it? It’s just really pretty and I think you’d like it...No pressure though! If you don’t want to it’s fine”

“I’d love to Remi” You smile as you two reached the library.

“Does tomorrow work for you?” “Perfect”

You originally went to the library to study, which you did, just not a lot. You ended up lying on the floor near one of the windows up the back, in the orange warmth of the sunset.

Remus’ head was in your lap, he had grabbed his favorite book from his bag, one you had given him for christmas in third year.

“Haven't you read that like a hundred times now?” You laugh and Remus smiled god I love her laugh. You didn’t try too hard to hide your blush. “It’s my favourite”

“Why’s that?” “Cause the main character reminds me of my favourite person” Cause the main character reminds me of you

“You’re so cute Remus Lupin” you say with a soft smile, scratching your fingers into a particular spot in his hair making him let out a happily content sigh.

***

That night you slept better than you thought you would.

You normally don’t sleep well, as you can hear your roommates (and sometimes the people sharing your wall) dreams which was very distracting when you're trying to shut off to sleep, but you were also very excited for the next day.

Having something be a mystery to you was new and for some reason made you giddy, see when you can read minds (even though you can’t control it and hate it) nothing is new to you, nothing is surprising.

Probably the worst is that you know what people think of you, you know when people are talking about you, how they think you're weird cause you’re always staring off into space, always seem bored, when you do tests you have to go to another room. Only a few staff members know about your little ability and don’t want you to cheat, even though you can’t help it.

***

You and Remus met up after breakfast, glad it was saturday so you could spend a lot of time together. As you walked together to the forest to the supposedly beautiful place, you joked and talked, being in the forest meant that you could only hear Remus, not first years talking shit about other people, just the sweet sounds of the forest and Remus’ voice.

“How long till we get there, my feet are dying” You jokingly pout making Remus chuckle “Not to far now, you really need to get your stamina up” 

You roll your eyes and lightly shove him, quick react! he stumbled slightly, as the full moon was tomorrow he was almost rock solid and had to pretend that it made him stumble as it would any other day.

He steers you to a left turn “Ta da!” he smiles, it really was beautiful, a crystal clear pond with flowers all around, the trees were slightly denser and closer together, making it like a little pocket out of time

“Wow, Remi, this is really beautiful!” You gush with a bright smile. Best.Surprise.Ever.

“I’m glad you like it! Me and the guys found it last month” Ok, time to tell her, you can do this Remus “Why were you out in the forest? You’re not trying to prank me are you?” You playfully glare at him

“What? Never! We’ve given up trying to prank you, you always see them coming!” he plops to the ground, his legs straight out in front of him, leaning back on his hands.

You move and sit next to him leaning your head onto his shoulder, watching a stag drink from the pond ‘Hi James’ you think to yourself

“So um, the reason we were out here was…” He tails off taking a deep breath. Come on Remus just spit it out already you just wait patiently, knowing this is hard for him, telling people your biggest secret is a terrifying thing to do. “We were out here because, I’m a werewolf and they help me on full moons, to make sure I don’t kill anyone”

He tenses next to you, not looking at you as you lift your head off his shoulder Oh merlin she thinks I’m a monster this was a mistake but you don’t run away like he thought you would, you turn slightly and wrap your arms around his neck hugging him.

His eyes went wider for a moment before pulling you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face into your shoulder and letting out slight sobs. But you just hold him rocking slightly and playing with his soft curls.

Even though Remus was literally crying, the air was so calm and still, the stag had bounded off somewhere ‘See you later, James’ he must have just been there to make sure nothing happened to Remus but now was ok giving us some space.

After a while his sobs stopped shaking his shoulders. “Thank you for telling me Remi” you say softly with a gentle smile, he pulls back from your shoulder to look into your eyes.

“Y-you’re not scared of me?” “I could never been scared of you, I couldn’t give a flying fruit flavored fuck that you’re a werewolf, cause you’re still my Remus” I’m her Remus, I’m still the same person to her

Remus gave a small yet delighted smile “Can I tell you another secret?” “I’d be offended if you didn’t tell me” you both smile

“I’ve fancied you since like third year” his cheeks started heating up, giving them a light tinge of pink

“Ok, my turn to share a secret?” He nodded, he could tell where it was going “I’ve liked you since third year too” 

You both were smiling like goofs before he tackle hugged you, making you both fall back to the floor giggling and looking into each others eyes I wanna kiss her so bad right now

“Can I share one more secret? You have to know before anything else happens” Your smile fell slightly, Remus frowned “You can tell me anything, I’d be offended if you didn’t tell me” he echos your words, Considering I just told you I was a werewolf I doubt that it’s as bad

“Ok so, I can read minds” you cringed slightly, Remus just blinked a few times “I can’t control it, it’s just I can always hear what’s going on around me, every thought and feeling”

“S-so you knew? About me being a werewolf?” Remus moved off you sitting up ‘what have I done’ you just nod looking down, too ashamed to even look at his face “Did you know that I was taking you here?”

You take a deep breath “Being here has been the most amazing thing to happen to me in a long time, cause I had no clue that you were taking me here, it was quite exciting really” You give a small sad smile

“But I guess I ruined it all haven't I? This is why I don’t tell people cause they get freaked out, but in all honesty, I hate it! I hate knowing what people think and say about me, I hate knowing when a prank is coming” You take a deep breath.

“I hate that I’ve made you hate me” a single tear falls down your cheek

“Who says I hate you? I think your mind reading might be a little off because I don’t hate you” You finally look over to him 

“You don’t?”

“No! I mean I’m not going to lie it’s a little scary to know you’ve known that I’ve had a crush on you, and the whole werewolf thing, but I actually think it’s kinda cool” He smiles, you smile back wiping your tears with the heel of your palm.

“Wait, is that why you always know what to say and do around moons!” he says with a shocked smile, you laugh a little and nod “Oh thank the founders! I thought someone had told you! Can I just say that you help so much around moons when the lil’ shit is being aggravating!” 

You laugh with him, someone being almost excited that you’ve read their mind was new and refreshing,

“Whoa, everything makes so much sense now” He smiles at you, at genuin toothy grin that you can’t help returning, you end up giving into temptation and lean forward giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, making his cheeks go red.

“You’re so cute when you blush” you tease, he scrunches up his nose a bit before tackling you again, cageing you between his arms, he looks into your eyes I wonder how she looks when she blushes.

You raise an eyebrow at him “Have you already forgotten what I just told you” he just jokingly glares at you, a slight mischievous look in his eyes before leaning down and placing kisses all over your face as you giggle “Remi, sto-o-op”

“Alright, but can I kiss you here?” he takes one hand and touches your lips, now it’s your turn to blush

“Yes, please” Moving his hand away he leans down and gives you a very quick kiss to your lips

“Again?” you pout slightly, he smirks “You’re adorable” he kisses you again, this time not pulling away.

Bonus:

Sirius and James are standing behind a tree smirking at their ‘shy’ friend being a smug tease “We’re so good” Sirius whispers high fiving James

You pull away from Remus for a moment, calling out to them “I can hear you!” the two animagi’s eyes widen while you and Remus just laugh before he kisses you again.

[fdd700]

Remus wasn’t a very romantic person. He didn’t see the appeal in the fancy dinners or candle lit nights. He just couldn’t understand why people loved them.

Virgil, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, both understood and loved the romantic nights. And, despite his attempts at hiding it, Remus quickly noticed. But Remus knew that Virgil loved him, impulses and all.

“Hey trash panda, have you talked to your brother recently?” Virgil asked as he sat on his phone on the couch across from Remus’ design computer.

“Normally, my dark and stormy night, I do my best to avoid the repulsive royal, so that would be a no.” Remus didn’t look up from his project - some horror anime/cartoon he was acting hush-hush on. Virgil knew it was because it was a trial piece and Remus didn’t want jinx himself.

“He and Jan are going to Morocco.” This caused Remus to spin around in his chair, looking at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. “Jan just texted me to let me know he couldn’t come us to that horror convention next month. Apparently Roman got a promotion so he bought the tickets as a surprise.” Remus nodded.

“Why Morocco?” Remus said, about to turn back around.

“I think he’s going to propose.” Remus froze before looking at his boyfriend who was frantically typing on his phone.

“How-”

“Jan has always wanted to get engaged on a foreign holiday. Plus, Lolo and I saw Roman talking to Cindy, you know Patton’s friend, one from the jewellery store downtown,” Virgil explained. “I’m texting him now to ask.” Remus nodded but didn’t say anything. there was silence, except for Virgil’s tapping.

“Not gonna lie,” Remus stated. “I always thought Janus would propose.” Virgil paused before gasping, followed by him chuckling.

“Bet you twenty dollars Janus is also planning to propose.” Remus laughed. 

“That’s such a rigged bet, they’re both definitely gonna propose.”

Sure enough, a month later, both boys returned home with engagement rings. The gang - Patton, Logan, Virgil, Remus, Emilie, Remy, Janus and Roman - were all in Logan and Patton’s house for Sunday dinner (a long-standing tradition). Virgil was locked into conversation with Janus, Emilie and Patton, who were both showing off their rings. Virgil was laughing with them. Remus’ eyes were glued to him.

“What's got you so distracted? Worried Virgil-”

“Dude, not funny,” Roman said, cutting Remy off. Remy took a sip from his cup but was otherwise silent. “Remus, what’s up?”

“do you think Virgil is waiting for me to propose?”

“I mean, maybe? Have you talked about marriage?” Remus was silent, thinking. 

“Yes and no. We talked about it ages ago but he hasn’t said anything since.”

“Has he dropped hints?” Remy asked. “That’s what Emilie did.”

“Virgil should know I wouldn’t pick up on them.”

“Hey, don’t stress, Rem, Virgil loves you and you love him, that's all that matters,” Roman said.

“That is correct. Maybe Virgil will propose. Patton knew I wouldn’t be able to pick up signs so he just asked me to my face.”

Remus tried to believe them, and he mostly did. Until later that night, when they were playing truth or dare. Logan and Patton were sharing the two-seater. Not quite cuddling but in each other’s personal space. Emilie had his head on Remy’s shoulder on the long couch, with Roman on Janus’ lap at the other end of the couch. Virgil was tucked into Remus’ side as the room turned their attention to him.

“So,” Janus said, wiggling his eyebrows. “Virgil truth or dare?”

“Considering you dared Remy to kiss Patton, I think I’ll go with truth,” Virgil said.

“Well, you wouldn’t tell us earlier, so... what was your dream proposal as a kid?” Virgil turned red.

“Can’t let that one go, no?” Virgil asked and Janus chuckled, shaking his head. “Uhm, pretty sure it was like a candle-lit dinner or something. Probably something cheesy and romantic.” Virgil then quickly moved on, asking Remy something but Remus tuned out again. Was Virgil disappoint with the lack of romance in their relationship? He’s never said anything directly, but why would he bring us Roman proposing on a romantic holiday if not to tell Remus that's what he wanted? Were there any other hints? Was there-

“Remus.” Remus snapped up to Janus’ gleaming eyes. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth. I think my boyfriend was in the right vein,” Remus responded. Janus simply waved dismissively as he went silent, thinking. Almost a moment later, a light bulb flipped on above his head.

“Do you plan on proposing to Virgil?”

“Janus!” Roman said, looking to his fiancé in exasperation.

“It’s a harmless question!” The two bickered slightly, nothing heated but a simply back and forth.

“You don’t have to answer,” Virgil said in a low tone. He had been trying to catch Remus’ eyes, who was just as determined to avoid Virgil’s. Eventually, the smaller man grabbed his chin so they could look into his eyes. “I’m serious. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I love you, okay?”

“I love you too.”

Despite Virgil’s reassurance, Remus was deeply fixated on the thoughts of marriage and if he was enough for Virgil. Virgil liked romance and dancing in the rain and visiting fancy restaurants. Remus liked staying inside and horror films and going to graveyards to adopt ghosts (which scared Virgil so much he learnt how to banish spirits from the house). Remus couldn’t help but feel like maybe, just maybe, Virgil was better off without him? 

He spun in his chair. He was unable to focus on the novel he was writing anymore. Virgil was at work and wouldn’t be back for ages. Despite trying to work, Remus was now fixated on rings. The truth was, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Virgil but he didn’t see why he needed to buy him a ring or spend thousands of dollars on a wedding to prove his devotion. They bought an apartment together, they had three pissy spirits that they took care of together, and the stray cat that would jump in their window. But if Virgil wanted it, well, who was Remus to say no?

Engagement ring shopping sucked. Plain and simple, it sucked. There were so many different cuts but they all looked so basic. Virgil wasn’t the type to wear flashy jewellery unless it meant something, like the dangly gold earring Remus bough him when he got his masters in psychology. Remus wanted something classy, but all something showed how much Remus knew Virgil, right down to his core. He thought about going to a jewellery shop or hiring someone but how on earth would he be able to explain that to Virgil? In the end, he chose the least expensive route; his brother.

“How do you pick an engagement ring?” Roman choked on his coffee. “What?”

“Try and maybe start a conversation with hello and maybe not something you have never mentioned before now,” Roman said. “But also, why the change in pace?” Remus didn’t say anything. “Is it Janus? he was only messing. He just doesn’t get it sometimes but I told him he need to respect your boundaries-”

“It’s not that.” Roman went quiet, letting his brother speak when comfortable. “I don’t want Virgil to regret being with me. I know that he doesn’t say it but he really likes all the romantic garbage you and Janus do.”

“Remus, Virgil may like romance but he loves you. Plain and simple. But I am your brother and I will support you, so if you need help finding a ring, I will help you,” Roman said sincerely.

“Ugh, you’re so boring and regal. Lighten up. Walk on the gory side.” Roman chuckled.

“I’ll tune it down, but just because you’re my baby brother.”

“Two MINUTES. I AM TWO MINUTES-” Roman burst into laughter, meaning anyone in the cafe who wasn’t staring due to Remus’ screeching, was now looking due to roman’s cackling. 

“Come, little wittle Remus, let’s go ring shopping.”

Remus paid for the ring in cash. He had been taking money out of the account for weeks in preparation. Well, a week. Still, he had it all planned out. He could suck it up for a night. 

He was spreading flowers on the floor when he noticed the dull ache in his chest. Tell-tale signs of a panic attack. Remus paused before moving to sit down. He closed his eyes and repeated his breathing exercises. He could do this. It’s what Virgil wanted. He stood up again, the dull ache turning into a slight pressure. He lit the candles, checked on the food and cleaned up. It was about half six when he realised, he was struggling to breath. Almost as soon as he noticed, the elephant on his chest returned. He backed up, sliding down the wall.

“no... no... not tonight...” He muttered under his breath. He tried to breath but he realised he was struggling. Why tonight. why was he getting a panic attack tonight? it was just one dinner!

“Re- REMUS!” Virgil said, coming in and sitting in front of his boyfriend. “Can I touch you?” Remus shook his head frantically. “Okay, it’s okay, breath with me okay?” Virgil took his boyfriend through his breathing exercises. “Okay, Rem, I need you to name five things you can see.”

“Chair, lights... uh... you, the table... uh, uhm-” Remus swallowed. “And tiles...”

“Okay, four things you can hear.”

“My breathing, your breathing, the neighbours... the oven?” Virgil reached behind him, switching off the oven. 

“Okay, three things you can feel.”

“The floor, my shirt... uhm... sweat?”

“Okay, two things you can taste.”

“Impending doom.” Virgil gave him a look. “Uh, tea and sugar.”

“Okay, finally, one thing you can smell.”

“The candles.” Virgil stood up, switching on the light and blowing out the candles. He finally took in the scene of the room. Remus tried to stand up but was quickly placed down in one of their dining chairs.

“Remus, do you wanna talk about it?” Remus sighed.

“I just... I wanted to plan this big romantic night and I know you like romance but it's just so icky that I must of have been panicked and-” Remus paused, meeting his boyfriend’s eyes. “Look, I know you like romance and I’m sure you’re disappointed I’m not.”

“Remus. I like romance, but I love you.” Remus blinked at him. “I knew what I was getting into when we entered this relationship. You never, ever have to change your boundaries to suit me. Remus, I love you, for you. I know you don’t like romance or pda, but I know that you love me.” Remus didn’t notice he was crying till Virgil wiped the tears from his face. He pressed their foreheads together. “I love you. So much. Romance or not.” Remus held onto his boyfriend. “But I need you to promise to never break your own boundaries for me. I respect the boundaries you put up, and I need you to do the same.”

“I promise.” Virgil smiled and Remus was hit with how overwhelmingly lucky he was to have gotten someone like Virgil to love him. “Ugh,” he groaned. Virgil chuckled.

“What’s up buttercup?”

“Roman was right. I don’t like this timeline.” Virgil just tossed his head back and laughed as Remus whined.

Remus did end up proposing that night. They were watching a horror film and Virgil was critiquing the characters decision when Remus suddenly turned to him.

“I’m just saying, choosing to go down to the creepy basement when you know there’s a serial killer on the loose-”

“Marry me.” Virgil stopped, looking over at his boyfriend. He wasn’t down on one knee but there was a ring in his hands. Virgil’s hand flew to his mouth. “marry me.” Remus sat up. 

“You’re not just doing this for me?” he asked, still in a state of shock.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and if this is the next step? then I’m going for it.” Virgil jumped up, wrapping his arms around Remus, already crying.

“Yes, yes, yes! Oh my god, yes!” He pulled back, letting Remus slip on the ring before launching himself and his boyfriend and smashing their lips together. It was here that Virgil, admiring his ring with awe filled eyes, also realised how lucky he was for getting someone like Remus to love him too.

[spectral-apparitions]

babysitting yinu hedcanons?

Mama tends to handle the political side of things, since Yinu is so young. So that leaves plenty of times when Mama is going to meetings of various sorts, and can't always bring Yinu with. And sometimes she want a little alone time with other adults (not to say she doesn't love alone time with Yinu even more). So that's when she looks for someone to watch Yinu.

Yinu is a kid, but she can be mature, too. She knows that sometimes even when an adult is able to stay with her, they're busy, and gives them space. When she visits with someone else, she packs her own games, notebooks, and snacks to keep herself busy if she needs to. But she loves if whoever she's with spends time with her. Every one of the other artists has their own way of interacting with her, and she enjoys time with each of them.

Artist interactions under the cut, it's pretty long.

Tatiana is the first of the NSR members that Mama trusts, as she spent quite a bit of time with the family and is always looking out for them. But Tatiana is also the most busy. Typically, when Tatiana watches Yinu, it's in her office. Yinu enjoys being in that office, she doesn't mind the height and never gets tired of looking out the big windows to the city below. She knows to let Tatiana work and will sit herself in another part of the office and entertain herself.

Having Yinu in her watch is also a perfect excuse for Tatiana to take a break. She's more likely to keep track of the time and to not get swept up in work when Yinu is with her. She feels more relaxed at work while and after Yinu is there. Sometimes all they do is take a trip to the vending machine on another floor, sometimes Tatiana lets herself take an extended lunch break and they pick out a nice restaurant they both enjoy, getting dessert too of course.

Yinu gets lots of questions about Tatiana's work, but she also just really enjoys hearing her perspective on everything. Yinu is always asking her about her about whatever comes to mind, be it favorite animals or exchanging stories about how people are weird sometimes. Tatiana truly enjoys chatting with Yinu, it's so refreshing when she has to talk to other adults professionally so often.

There are times when Tatiana stays with Yinu at her home, or comes to visit and chat with her and Mama. Yinu likes showing Tatiana anything interesting she owns during these times. Maybe this drawing she did last week, or this nice photo of her at a music awards festival. Tatiana always lays on how impressed she is by it.

.

Neon J is also someone Mama greatly trusts with Yinu, as he's a long-standing NSR member who's shown nothing but loyalty and responsibility, and an evident soft side with kids. Honestly, we see him serious and on edge in game, you wouldn't believe how soft he gets with Yinu.

But again, he can be very busy, overseeing business for 1010 and getting himself involved in so many projects in his district. So he isn't always available. There are times too when he's working on something that 1010 isn't involved in, so they watch her. Neon J doesn't like to bring her along on any trips, though, so when he/1010 watch her, it's at the mansion.

1010 act like older brothers to Yinu. They get so excited to see her. There's no need for her to pack anything because they won't leave her alone for a second. Yinu is just as excited to see them, she knows she's gonna get treated special and to pick what they do.

And boy there's a lot, from (age appropriate) video games, to hide and seek, to at-home karaoke. Eloni and Zimelu like to give her piggyback rides, Haym will pick her up for holding her upside-down or spinning her around. Or they draw together, or write a story together. And yes, Neon J is part of these activities too

Sometimes Neon J will take Yinu to his workshop if he’s working on something, so she can watch him work. He doesn’t let her get too involved so she doesn’t get hurt, but he lets her do little things like hand him tools and tighten screws if she wants. He’s quite a storyteller, too, but he’s careful about what he tells her. Doesn’t stop her from asking questions about his past, and wanting to know the stories behind pictures and medals. He tones it down as much as he can for her.

Yinu has found old toys and 1010 merchandise, too, and has received quite a few gifts. None of them can say no to her.

.

Eve will spoil Yinu just as much as Neon J and 1010 will, but in a different way. She’s setting aside whatever she’s doing and making this a Girls’ Day. She can get pretty wrapped up in her own head when she gets to working and get stressed, so spending time with Yinu always livens her up.

They usually spend their time in Dream Fever, but they’ll go to other parts of the city, too, just to try something new. Yinu loves the opportunity to try new things around the city, and there have been times she has encouraged Eve as well, convincing her to go to shops and restaurants she hasn’t been to herself.

Eve will take Yinu out to shops, not necessarily to buy anything, just to look. Yinu will sometimes make silly comments and jokes, and Eve will think of something funny in response, and soon it turns into them making up jokes and stories about many of the things around them, their voices breaking into giggles.I’m talking like putting on a big hat that’s on display and doing their best Single Victorian Woman voice.

In the same vein, they sometimes people watch while they eat or get dessert. It switches between actual observations and deductions vs just making stuff up and trying to be funny.

Eve has also gotten Yinu interested in different arts. Yinu thinks it’s really neat how many ways to make art there are, and she likes listening to Eve talk about them! Mama has found herself buying different types of art supplies when Yinu gets a new interest. She particularly likes trying different paints.

And too, Yinu likes hearing how Eve talks about the meaning behind her own artwork. Eve doesn’t often explain that to people, but seeing as Yinu is still quite young, she doesn’t expect the girl to pick up on the symbolism. They made up a sort of game where Yinu looks at one of Eve’s works, tells her what feeling she gets from it/what she thinks it’s saying, and maybe a title for it, then Eve tells her the actual name and what she intended.

.

Mama initially wasn’t confident in letting DJ Subatomic Supernova babysit her daughter, but Yinu came back happy the first time and she started to trust him more. He doesn’t oversee as many operations as some of the other megastars and tends to have more opportunity to watch her.

A lot of times what happens is Yinu asks questions, then draws while DJSS infodumps. She’s listening, she just busies her hands while doing so, because he talks a lot.

Usually it’s a science lesson of some kind, with one question leading to another, topic to topic. Or sometimes it’s an intense discussion on what pizza toppings are the best.

She once asked if she could hug him, gradually it became more often and now they hug anytime they’re together. She thinks he gives amazing hugs.

Yinu knows this guy has a sweet tooth, so whether it’s grabbing something from his kitchen or stopping at a shop, she can easily persuade him into buying treats.

Games! DJSS has different types of puzzles around and Yinu likes to try to solve them. If it’s something like a jigsaw puzzle, they work together. She also learned chess from her dad, and DJSS plays too, so they play together.

They also just make up their own games at times!

.

The Sayu Squad, although great, are the last group Mama has in preference for watching Yinu. They’re quite young themselves, and trying to manage their music and district, and she doesn’t want to add that responsibility. Although, she can tell they all get along great and doesn’t have hindrance when Yinu is with them.

They’ll get out Sayu to play with Yinu if they can! Sayu will let Yinu ride on her shoulders while she swims around. Or they play chase in the stream hub, Yinu getting to run around in the wide area and use the transport rails.

Tila will style Yinu’s hair. She has lots of hair accessories that she’ll put in, too!

They all like video games, so they play them with Yinu. Remi and Sofa tend to be the most competitive. It’s usually racing games or arcade fighting games that they play with her (like Mario Kart and Smash Bros).

.

Bunk Bed Junction is not allowed to babysit Yinu. Even after they corrected their wrongs, Mama still thought they would be a bad influence on Yinu, so she doesn’t let them watch her. It’s okay for them to chat, though, if someone else is there too.

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Simply Meant To Be (pt 2)

[Part 1]

You don’t need to read part 1 to read this one since that one is Roman backstory and this one is Janus backstory

Rating: teen

Word Count: 3456

Pairings: Remile, Moxiety kinda (they’re kids, but they’re soulmates so I guess it’s future moxiety), Roceit but only at the very end

Warnings: religion, religious cults, religious guilt, child abuse, internalized homophobia, childhood trauma, stalking, threats of kidnapping, throwing up, psychological warfare (?), paranoia, swearing

I think that’s everything

It’s worse than you’d expect after the first part, but not quite as bad as the warnings make it sound, but if any of the warnings make you uncomfortable then feel free to skip this part

I started with some religious stuff right off the bat, so I put the entire fic below the cut

~~~START~~~

When Janus was growing up, he was taught that the colorblindness that everyone was born with was a test from God. God created a beautiful world full of wonderful colors, then gave man the ability to view only a fraction of this beauty. The wicked ones searched selfishly for ways to see even more, but the humble ones were grateful for what little beauty they were given. 

Soulmates were frowned upon in the Community. Janus was taught from a young age that soulmates were a trick, sent by Satan to lead people away from God. Even those who met their soulmates by accident were expelled from the Community. 

As such, Janus never expected to see color — for a while he’d even dreaded the mere thought of it — so he taught himself to discern between shades of gray. He was very good at it, almost to the point that someone who could see color would be fooled into thinking Janus could too. 

The Elders were not very pleased with this skill, and the Community as a whole was torn as to whether it was a sin or not. They said it was a reflection of his desire to see colors, of his desire to stray from God. 

So Janus repented. He begged forgiveness and promised to abandon his skill. He was devoted to God and only God. 

That was a lie of course, Janus prided himself on his ability to discern shades of gray, but he didn’t see why that had to be mutually exclusive to being devoted to God. 

Pride was a sin, and so was lying, but they were lesser sins to the Community than soulmates and colors. God would forgive him. 

He lived in the Community for twenty years, rarely leaving the town and when he did it was only for a few hours. 

He carries a lot of baggage from those twenty years, but he’s doing his best to shoulder it, to not let it affect his relationships with those around him, to not let any of the Community’s teachings hurt his son. 

Sometimes the little voice in the back of his head told him he was being selfish. Janus always silenced this voice with one thought: there’s nothing wrong with a little selfishness. 

Janus started going to gay bars on Saturday nights to feed his selfishness. He was never looking for anything, he had a young son at home after all, but one time, he kissed a man — he threw up in the bathroom afterwards, but he still counted it as a victory. 

There was a teenager that lived in the apartment next to Janus and Virgil’s first home outside the Community, and they were always willing to watch Virgil for a few hours, even if Janus couldn’t afford to pay them much. Elliot was Janus’ first friend outside of the Community, probably his first real friend ever. 

Janus hit Virgil once. Virgil was about two and a half at the time, and he’d proudly told Janus that his favorite color was magenta — after the dog on Blue’s Clues — and Janus hadn’t even thought, he’d just slapped his own son across the face. In the Community, a slap on the face would be the least of a child’s concerns after saying such a thing, but this wasn’t the Community, and Janus was trying to be better than them. He’d been completely consumed by guilt before the tears even began forming in Virgil’s eyes. 

“I’m so sorry baby!” Janus apologized, pulling Virgil in for a tight hug and rocking back and forth in a soothing motion. Virgil easily accepted the hug, and that only made Janus feel worse. Virgil trusted him completely, and he’d betrayed that trust. Janus was going to be better; he was going to do better. He was never going to hurt Virgil again. “I’m so sorry darling. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all my fault; I shouldn’t have done that. I did a very bad thing, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay daddy. I forgive you.” Janus’ heart broke even more; he didn’t deserve forgiveness. He didn’t deserve this child. 

After Virgil went to bed that night, Janus searched the internet for therapists. Doctor Emile Picani came highly recommended, and after a brief email exchange, they agreed to help Janus, even though he couldn’t afford their usual rate. 

Picani was an… interesting character. They made several strange statements then told him that they were references to cartoons that Janus had never even heard of. TVs in the Community weren’t for children to use, and Virgil was only two, he mostly just watched Blue’s Clues, Dora the Explorer, and Sesame Street. After telling Picani that, they changed their references accordingly, telling Janus that they had their own two-year-old at home, and they were more than familiar with the kind of shows Virgil was watching. 

Picani didn’t think Janus was a bad person, which was a foreign thought for Janus, who was certain that he was going straight to Hell. They were good at finding ways to make the little voice in Janus’ head shut up. It took Janus a while to believe him, but it got a little easier every week. 

Over the years, Emile became his friend, and Janus was grateful to have them every day. 

Emile was the one who insisted that Janus let them throw a birthday party for Virgil’s 5th birthday. Birthday parties hadn’t been a thing in the Community, and even after he left, Janus mostly just celebrated Virgil’s birthday by getting him new clothes, a whole party was a completely foreign idea. 

But Janus had said yes and agreed to bring Virgil over to Emile’s place the following Saturday. The party, he’d been told, would just be Emile, Emile’s husband Remy, and their son Patton. That was good, neither Janus nor Virgil were very good in crowds. 

Of course, whether there was a crowd or not hardly mattered when Virgil had met Patton and informed Janus that “everything is prettier now!”, Janus had a panic attack either way. 

Virgil can see colors! That isn’t allowed, they’ll take him away! He’s only five he needs me! They won’t let me keep him! This is all wrong!

“-five, six, seven. Out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Good. Are you with me, Jan?”

“Yes,” Janus croaked. He was in a different room now, with only Emile. Virgil was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Virgil!?”

“Breath, Janus. Virgil is in the living room with Remy and Patton. Remy is teaching them all the different colors.”

“They’re going to take him away!”

“No one’s going to take him away. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him meeting his soulmate. Everything is going to be okay.”

“I don’t want to lose him.”

“You’re not going to lose him. You’re not in the Community, there’s no reason anyone will take him away.”

“I’m sorry,” Janus apologized, wiping at his tears. “I probably scared the kids.”

“Would you like a hug?” Janus nodded. That was one of the nice things about being friends with Emile, they gave great hugs and gave them freely. “Virgil was a little concerned about you, but Patton didn’t notice. Remy’s with them now, they’re okay. Do you want to go join them?”

“Not yet.”

“Alright.” Emile allowed them to sit in silence for a while before speaking up again. “I’m proud of you.”

“Why?” Janus asked miserably. 

“Your son met his soulmate and you didn’t respond with anger, you didn’t repeat any of the Community’s teachings, it’s a big step for you.”

“It doesn't feel like a big step.”

“Well it is.” And that was that. 

Ten minutes later Janus was feeling up to joining the others. Virgil climbed into Janus’s lap as soon as he sat down, and having his son in his arms did wonders as far as calming himself down went. 

“This is my source material!” Virgil informed Patton and Remy happily. Patton accepted that information easily, but Remy shot Janus a bemused look. 

Janus shrugged in return. As soon as Virgil had started getting anywhere near being able to speak, Elliot started teaching him weird phrases in the hope that Virgil’s first word would be strange, some of them stuck. 

Virgil started babbling after that, telling Janus about how ‘Mr. Remy’ was teaching him about colors and soulmates. Internally, Janus was grateful that someone else had given Virgil the soulmate talk, someone who hadn’t grown up with a cynical and toxic view of soulmates. 

Other than the hiccup at the beginning, Virgil’s birthday party went pretty well. Patton was a very nice boy — though he’d have to be considering he was Emile’s kid — and Janus truly couldn’t have picked a better soulmate for Virgil if he tried. Patton seemed to have an absurd amount of emotional intelligence for a not-yet five-year-old, and when Virgil starts fatiguing towards the end of the night, Patton’s energy level changes appropriately. 

Janus headed home that night with a sleeping child, two new stuffed animals — one of Blue and one of Magenta — a box of Playdough, a Sesame Street coloring book with crayons — a last minute addition thrown in because of Virgil’s newfound colors — and newfound sense of peace. His son met his soulmate and nothing bad had happened. 

Play dates became a regular thing, and Janus was glad his son would already have one friend going into kindergarten in the fall. One of the kids’ favorite things to do during play dates was painting, and as a result, Janus found himself using his skill to baffle Remy with his ability to paint everything the correct color, even when Remy tried to trick him. Painting, however, was not particularly fun to Janus in and of itself, and wasn’t something he partook in when he and Virgil were at home. 

Remy was actually the one to suggest a different medium for Janus: makeup. Remy even allowed Janus to use him as a canvas, and Janus’ skills on a living canvas soon flourished. Often he would sit down to practice on Remy, and Virgil and Patton would do the same with Emile. Janus’ work would of course look a lot better in the end, but Emile vehemently claimed to love both looks equally. 

Eventually Janus started a YouTube channel dedicated to makeup tutorials. He always used Remy or Emile as models, appearing himself with contacts and half his face painted to look like a snake, hoping that was enough to obscure his identity in case anyone in the Community ever came across his channel. 

His channel became fairly popular, not enough for Janus to make a living from that alone, but he did make enough from the channel for it to pay for itself. He could afford better makeup brands, which meant he could make cooler designs, which made his channel more popular. It was going well. 

Until his mother showed up on his doorstep one day, nearly a decade since he’d last seen her. 

“Janus.”

“Mother.” He didn’t have anything to say to her. Not a thing. Ten years and he hadn’t once felt the need to reach out to her. 

“When are you going to stop this silly game and come home, Janus? We miss you, and this is no environment to raise Virgil in.” She gestured to Janus’ apartment, and Janus’ blood began to boil. 

“Well excuse me for not meeting your standards, mother, but as I recall, it wasn’t my choice to leave in the first place!”

“If this is about Emmaline-”

“It’s not just about Emmaline! Virgil and I are perfectly happy where we are, and I’m not about to go exposing him to your toxic-”

“TOXIC!? Janus Lysander Hadley you take that back this instant! I will not have you speaking about our faith that way!”

“It’s not my faith, mother, it’s yours, and it has no place in my home!”

He should have been expecting the slap, it was a common way for his mother to respond to anyone disagreeing with her, but it had been so long, the sharp sting on his cheek came as a complete surprise. 

“Step aside, Janus, I’m taking Virgil home whether you’re coming or not. You’re clearly not fit to raise a child.”

Her trying to push past Janus and into his apartment shook Janus out of his shocked stupor and he blocked her advance. 

“You’ve never been fit to raise a child in your life!” He hissed, pushing her away from the door. “Now kindly fuck off, mother, you aren’t welcome here!”

He slammed the door on her shocked face, and quickly locked the door, locked the deadbolt, and slid the door chain in place. As soon as the door was thoroughly locked, his mother started pounding on the door, the gravity of the situation sunk in, and his panic started mounting. 

His mother found him. She knew where he lived. She wanted to take Virgil from him. He yelled at his mother. She knew where he lived. He made her angry. She wanted to take Virgil from him. She knew where he lived!

“Sperm donor?”

His son’s voice snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts. Virgil was peeking out from behind the partition for the living room, where he wouldn’t have been visible from the door. He was clearly scared, because of course he was, his father had just had a screaming match with a woman he probably didn’t recognize outside their apartment, and said woman was proceeding to yelling abuse through the apartment door. It had to have more than a little unsettling for the ten-year-old. 

“It’s okay, mini me, everything’s going to be fine.” Janus crossed the room to pull his son into a hug. Virgil latched on to him immediately, shaking from stress. 

“I don’t want to go with her,” Virgil mumbled into Janus’s sweater. “She’s mean.”

“You don’t have to.” Janus tightened his arms around his son protectively. “You’re staying with me.”

Janus’ mother stopped pounding on the door eventually — presumably because one of the neighbors either threatened to call the police, or actually called the police — but Janus and Virgil’s nerves were both shot for the rest of the day, and they both ended up spending the night at the Picanis’. 

Janus didn’t see hide nor hair of his mother for weeks after the incident, but his paranoia levels were through the roof. He wouldn’t let Virgil be home alone anymore, instead having him go home with Patton after school, staying at the Picanis’ until Janus could pick him up. Every day when he got home he would search their apartment for anything out of place that would suggest that someone broke in, he even went as far as constructing minor booby traps for anyone who tried to root around through their things. 

“Janus — I’m saying this as your friend, and as a mental health professional — I’m concerned about you,” Emile told him one day when he came to pick up Virgil from their house. “You’ve been on edge for weeks, it’s not healthy, for you or for Virgil. He told me he’s been having nightmares, you know.”

“I know, I know! But I don’t know what to do!” Janus stressed, he was dangerously close to his breaking point, but he didn’t know how to stop it. 

“Have you considered moving?” Emile asked gently. “It’s clear you don’t feel safe here, maybe putting some more distance between you and your parents will ease your distress.”

“I can’t move; you guys live here. I can’t just take Virgil away from Patton, he’d be devastated.”

“I’m not saying move to Antarctica and become a hermit, we can visit, and Patton and Virgil can Skype. Yeah, it’ll be hard and both of them, but this is hard on them too. Janus, I think it’s important for you to feel safe in your own home, and you obviously don’t.”

“I don’t know…”

But a week later, Janus would be pushed over the edge. 

He came home from work — thankfully before picking Virgil up — to find his apartment door wide open. Cautiously, he searched the apartment for any intruders, but after twenty minutes he was confident that no one was around. 

There were a few things missing, mostly all of Virgil’s crayons and colored pencils, as well as his coloring books and some of the drawings he’d made that Janus had put on the fridge. There were also a few photos of Janus and Virgil missing from their frames, and a tile with Virgil’s baby handprint missing from the kitchen. And three of Janus’ booby traps had been sprung telling him that whomever broke into his apartment — presumably his mother — had opened the hall closet, the cabinet next to the fridge, and the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. 

As if that was bad enough, there, in plain sight on the dining room table was a copy of the Community’s version of the Bible. 

“We have to move.” Janus wasn’t sure how he ended up at the Picanis’; everything after finding the bible had been a panicked blur. All he knew was that he couldn’t stay at that apartment anymore. 

Moving was hard. Virgil didn’t like it, but he was afraid of their apartment too, and if Janus and Virgil just moved in with the Picanis — which Remy had suggested — then Janus’ parents would just start terrorizing them too, and Janus couldn’t have that. No, it was better that he and Virgil move away, not just to a new apartment, but to a new city, a new state even! Somewhere his parents wouldn’t find him or Virgil. 

They ended up moving to Florida, halfway across the country. Remy had a cousin in Florida, one that he swore up and down that Janus would love, and moving somewhere where he sort of knew someone was better than starting over from scratch a second time. 

Remy and Patton came with them to help them move and to allow Patton and Virgil to spend as much time together as they could. Emile stayed behind since they couldn’t reschedule all their appointments on such short notice. Emile did suggest a new therapist near Janus’ new home, and included a suggestion for Virgil too. 

Having Remy around for the moving process was good because he was able to parcel things out in ways that didn’t make Janus feel overwhelmed with the amount of work that went into moving. Having Patton around for the moving process was good because when all Virgil could see were negatives, Patton pointed out the positives and had a way of making Virgil begrudgingly agree to them. 

Part of the moving process was for Janus to change his and Virgil’s name in the hopes of throwing his parents off their scent. Since Virgil was taking the move so hard, Janus let him pick their new last name to make him feel better. Of course Virgil was beginning to enter his emo-pre-teen-angst phase, so he picked a name that was edgy and extra: Storm. 

Janus Storm. 

He sounded like a supervillain, but it made Virgil happy, and he could never resist anything that made Virgil happy. 

Before Remy and Patton went home, Remy introduced Janus and Virgil to his cousin: Thomas Sanders. Thomas owned a theater in town, and offered to let Janus use him as a model for his YouTube videos. He was alright; Virgil seemed to like him well enough, and Janus trusted Virgil’s instincts on these kinds of things. 

It was a teary goodbye when Remy and Patton went home, and Virgil refused to speak for the rest of the day, but once their plane touched down, Patton called on Remy’s phone, so maybe the distance wouldn’t be too bad. 

The Picanis came to visit for Virgil’s eleventh birthday since it occurred during Patton’s winter break. They ended up staying for almost a week.

Almost a year after Janus and Virgil moved to Florida, Thomas called Janus to tell him that the makeup artist at his theater quit, and that the job was Janus’ if he wanted it. 

Taking that job turned out to be the best decision of his life. 

“I’m Roman.”

The moment Janus had been dreading since he was a child was finally happening. The moment Janus had learned to be cautiously optimistic about was finally happening. 

Slowly, as though someone were carefully turning up the volume on a speaker, the monochrome world around Janus began to change, and he finally understood what Virgil meant by ‘everything is prettier’, because it was. It was wonderful and terrifying all at once. 

“Janus.”

~~~END~~~

Janus’ backstory wasn’t supposed to be quite this angsty but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ here we are. It’s probably never going to get this heavy again

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