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alwaysxlarrie · 2 years

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my fav fics masterlist part 1 (A-M)

i’m currently procrastinating learning autocad & editing youtube videos, so here i am. this post is long bc of the format of the summaries - sorry about that, wanted to keep them formatted how the authors had them! anyway, this is all my fav fics, alphabetically. this is part 1. part 2 will be coming...at some point. grab a snack, grab a beverage & settle in friends. :)

as small as possible by mickey_d

“Harry is a rather shy omega who's quite convinced everyone (except his best friends) laughs at him behind his back and sometimes to his face.

Louis is a confident alpha who is taken with his best artist's friend.”

a million roses (bathed in rock n’ roll) by deLILAh

“au. harry sings in smoky dive bars; louis misses his flight home. they go to coney island in the morning.

(aka - harry is lana del rey, and louis makes him a star.)”

adore you by @isthatyoularry

““We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer.

Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.

Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.”

are you taking clients? by @jaerie

“Escaping had been the hardest thing Harry had ever done. They'd stolen his child and nearly stolen his life. Being homeless and pregnant gave Harry few options. It's a last resort to let men fetishize his body, but the luxury of choice is something Harry doesn't have.”

and the truth shall set you free... by @jaerie

“Betism: A religion based on the belief that the beta gender has been chosen by God to protect and defend the purity and dignity of the human race by resisting and condemning the lustful ways and flawed biology of the alpha and omega”

ain’t that a kick in the head! by @karasunonolibero and keysmashlesbian

““Well.” Niall unlocks his phone. “It wasn’t getting the traction I wanted on Snapchat. So…I tweeted it.”

What.

“You tweeted it,” Harry states, nearing a state of brain dead. “To your ten thousand followers.”

Niall nods, handing Harry the phone. “You’re a meme, Harry.”

“I’m a what?”

“A meme. It’s like an internet—”

“I know what a fucking meme is, Niall! Why did you make me into one?”

Niall has the fucking balls to cackle at that while Harry looks at the mess his former friend created. Videos of him screaming at Tomlinson about Tide Pods and his ass are being quoted and combined with memes to a create a level of memeception Harry has never seen before. That isn’t even including the thousands of tweets of him falling up the stairs remixed with random Top 40 songs.

In which Harry’s a disaster gay who doesn’t know shit about soccer, Liam drinks too many blue raspberry Coolattas, Niall knows everyone, Zayn looks dead, and Louis is Not Happy about sharing his breakout moment with “Drunk Hawaiian Guy.””

atlas at last by louisandthealien

“He doesn’t know what he had been expecting out of the road trip itself besides burping contests and too much shitty gas station food with Oli and Stan, but in the brief moment before Harry ambles up his driveway, Louis idly wonders if this is about to become some sort of Gay Coming of Age story.

Maine to California in ten days. In which Zayn’s an open-shirt hippie they meet somewhere in Ohio, Liam’s the pastor’s son running away from home, and Niall’s the number they call on the bathroom wall.

It’s 1978. Harry and Louis are just trying to get to San Fran in time for the Queen concert.”

all i want is to fall with you by @2tiedships2

“The pair looked at each other for a few moments before Harry moved forward and gathered Louis in an unexpected hug.

It was nice, but why the fuck was an unknown alpha hugging him? Maybe an even better question would be why did Louis feel so secure in this stranger's arms?

Harry quickly let go and Louis felt something pull at him.

"Sorry," Harry said, holding his hands up in surrender. "Shit, um, that just seemed a natural response for some reason. I’m so sorry."

Louis smiled up at the alpha. "It's okay. Thanks again, Harry."

"You're welcome. I know it's horrible weather, and less than optimal circumstances, but this was a brilliant meet-cute."

What the fuck was a meet-cute?

Or the weekend ski trip where omega Louis discovers that he can’t change a tire and his skiing skills are debatable but still manages to find the alpha who will change his life.”

ask and i’ll obey by orphan account

““So, tell me what you want?” The younger boy demanded, and Louis’ mind filled with inappropriate images of Harry. Everything to do with Harry.

“I…” He couldn’t think. Could barely breathe, and his dick was so fucking hard in his track pants he didn’t know why Harry wasn’t pointing it out.

“You…have to do whatever I say for a whole day.” Louis blurted out.

“Deal.” Harry said without missing a beat, his green eyes shining like the light in The Great Gatsby. His easy agreement had Louis groaning, because Harry already did whatever Louis told him to do.

Or, the one where Harry and Louis challenge each other not to get off to see who will break first.”

and that’s the tea by @2tiedships2

“I’d like an Earl Grey with milk and sugar, please.

Louis had the phrase memorized, even though it had disappeared off its place on his upper arm over thirteen years ago now.

At fourteen he didn’t understand. Soulmarks don’t just disappear. Not unless…

Unless one of them dies.

Or, the one where Louis loses his soulmate before even getting the chance to meet them, and he is in no way prepared for the kind of distraction his new friend Harry proves to be.”

a cauldron of love by @zimriya

““Oh for Merlin’s sake, yes,” Niall interrupts finally. “Harry’s been in love with Louis Tomlinson since that time in second year when he went and accidentally peed on him.”

Harry turns to face him, horrified. “Niall!” he squeaks out. “You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone about that!”

Niall just shrugs and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Aw, come off it, Hazza, was it really a secret?” When Harry doesn’t say anything, he pauses and looks up. “It was?” he says. “Ah, bollocks.””

a fully armed battalion (to remind you of my love) by @mediawhorefics

““He was flirting with you by the way,” Niall says casually once he’s finished saying goodbye to Louis and he’s joined Harry outside.

“No he wasn’t,” Harry replies automatically, feeling his heart clench at the thought. Was he?

Niall simply raises a mocking eyebrow in response before wrapping his scarf twice around his neck.

“Not that it matters!” Harry says quickly, eyes widening. “I wouldn’t care even if he did because he’s awful and the worst.”

Everyone at Hogwarts knows that Professor Styles and Professor Tomlinson absolutely despise each other. It's too bad that they're in love.”

all your mates are here by @londonfoginacup

“"The pack is... It's folding, Harry."

Like every werewolf does when they get to a new town, Harry joined one of the many local packs when he started university. Now, three years into his program, he's hit with the news that his pack is giving up, going their separate ways. In the wake of the holidays, the three single wolves from the Majestic pack are pointed in the direction of a new pack to join; one that's got struggles of its own.

A new pack, a new house, and two new roommates with personal space issues... Plus exams, of course.

Happy Christmas, here's to many more.”

a cage for every ugly spirit by @povverbottoms

“First-year uni student Harry gives up orgasms for Lent, featuring a cock cage and weekly prostate milkings on Sundays. Warning for religion kink. Written for the 1D Novena Ficathon.”

at last, at last by @suspendrs

““Come with us,” Tommo says, stopping at the other end of the gymnasium, near the doors. “Don’t let them make you suffer any longer. Come with us, and be human.”

Before Harry has even finished thinking it through, he’s on his feet, gaining the attention of every single person in the gymnasium. What has he got to lose, anyway?

Or, Harry is born into a cult in a post-apocalyptic world, and Louis is the leader of the rebel group tasked with the mission of shutting them down. Together, they make a rather effective team.”

all we have by colourexplosion

“He looks at the person who’s asked him a question and then immediately wishes he hadn’t. He’s beautiful, is the thing, and Harry’s met him before.

“No, sorry,” he says, shaking his head, averting his eyes. It’s an old habit, one he’s gotten better about resisting, but he supposes seeing Louis Tomlinson out in the wild transports him right back to youth club.

“Ah, s’fine really,” Louis says, instead of just walking away like a normal person, “Pretty boy like you shouldn’t be smoking anyway, yeah?”

Harry’s cheeks flood with heat before he can stop it, and he squeezes his eyes shut. Of course. Of course Louis Tomlinson — the boy who basically made Harry realize he’s gay — thinks he’s cute now. Ten years after the fact, and much too late for it to do any good at all. Or, a 'Grown' au”

a million one, a million two (a million more will never do) by @littlelostpieces

“While Harry doesn’t want to spend his final year at Wilshire Academy sharing his space with yet another idiot roommate, he figures he could have ended up with a lot worse than Niall. As the school’s newest scholarship student, Niall provides a fresh perspective on Harry’s privileged life, as well as a grounding presence when Harry’s other friends, Liam and Zayn, are acting like lunatics. Most importantly, though, Niall introduces him to Louis, a cynical townie with zero interest in spending his time around entitled boarding school kids. Convincing Louis that he’s more than a trust fund and a charming smile won’t be easy, but Harry’s never been one to back down from a challenge.

An AU loosely inspired by the short-lived WB drama, Young Americans, and the Gotta Be You music video.”

a life that we share (i owe it all to you) by @all-these-larrythings

“When Harry's son came home from school crying he didn't think things could get any worse. Lucky for them, things were just about to change for the best.

Harry's son get bullied until Louis' son shows up :)”

all the right moves by @cherrystreet

“This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.”

boys fall like dominoes by orphan account

“Harry slips into an early heat while riding the tube. Naturally, that's when he meets Louis.”

baby we could be enough (i’ll make this feel like home) by orphan account

““Did you clean the table?” Harry asks Louis once Rose is done speaking, now occupied with trying to see if she can reach over and touch Harry’s hair from where she’s sat. At Louis’ nod, Harry frowns. “You didn’t have to do that. You’re my guests here, I could’ve dealt with it later.”

Louis just smiles easily, though, adjusting Rose on his lap so that she’s facing Harry better. She manages to tug on a loose wave of hair, and she makes a noise of triumph that both Louis and Harry smile at.

“I don’t mind,” Louis murmurs to Harry, even though he’s looking at Rose. “This one here seemed very excited to talk to you.”

And, okay. Harry can’t help but think of how domestic this feels, all of a sudden.

[harry is a photographer who's trying to find his place. louis is a single father with a smile that feels like home.]”

but if you close your eyes does it almost feel like by pukeandcry

“Marcel’s not sure what the draw is for Louis, but he finds himself looking forward to it, glancing out into the hall several times an hour to see if Louis might be walking by. Louis is just -- he’s magnetic, like he’s got his own gravitational field around him, and it makes Marcel’s stomach jump around nervously just being around him, but it only takes him a few days to realize how much he likes that feeling, the hitch in his chest he gets when he spots Louis across the office and smiles at him.”

burn this flame by @rainbowninja

““You’ve played keeper before?” Tomlinson asks suspiciously, hands on his waist.“

Er, yeah,” Harry coughs. “Loads of times.”

“Alright Popstar, if you’re sure,” Tomlinson tells him with a shrug, his professional expression already curling into laughter. Harry tries not to read too much into it. After all, how hard can goalkeeping really be?

When Harry gets invited to play in a celebrity charity match with Louis Tomlinson, Manchester United's star player, he's determined to impress him with brilliant football skills. The only flaw in Harry's otherwise foolproof plan? He has absolutely no football skills, brilliant or otherwise.”

but why wonder, why wonder? by @100percentsassy

“The one where Marcel Styles has improbably landed a job in the fashion industry, and Louis Tomlinson is the actor-turned-lingerie-designer he’s been infatuated with for years.”

babydoll blues by @thedevilinmybrain

“Louis is a high profile, filthy rich label executive who has the world at his feet - a music god.. Harry is the sugar baby trying to make a name for himself singing in shady bars and hanging off the arm of Louis' biggest rival. What Louis wants, Louis gets. But what if the game gets too hot and hits a little too close to the heart?”

back to seventeen by @ireallysawanangel

“As a first grade teacher in a small town in Illinois, Harry’s life is pretty simple. He loves his job, is close with his family, and has a best friend he would go to the ends of the earth for. When a new soccer coach starts at the local high school, things start to get a bit more exciting for Harry. Because that coach just happens to be Louis Tomlinson; the guy Harry was unrequitedly in love with in high school.

Or the one where Louis moves back to his hometown and Harry realizes he’s still not over his high school crush.”

business or pleasure by therogueskimo

“Boss: Know why I called you in here? Employee: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Boss: (stops pouring 2 glasses of wine) Accidentally?

or the one where Harry sends a snapchat to the wrong person, who just so happens to be Louis Tomlinson, aka his boss.”

baby shut your mouth and turn me inside out by ballsdeepinjesus

“And it’s good. It’s really, really good. Except they haven’t really talked about any of this and Harry can’t muster the courage to bring it up. Niall’s words at the bar run through his mind nearly every day. Fresh meat. Is this a thing Louis does, then? Find a toy to play with for awhile until he gets bored?

He knows Louis, though. He’s been friends with him for months now and he knows that he’s not just some heartless asshole. But he doesn’t know if this is just a nice convenient hook-up to him or something more, like how Harry feels. And he knows he should ask, but he’s not brave enough. Not brave enough to possibly ruin everything when Harry can take what he’s being offered without complaints.

[harry and louis meet in a mcdonalds. louis is everything harry needs.]”

be my little good luck charm by @100percentsassy

“In which Harry is a promising amateur golfer making his debut at the PGA Championship, and Louis is a Sky Sports anchor who would really rather be commentating on footie.

The other boys are around too: caddy!Niall provides victory pints, Liam is Louis's Very Serious co-anchor, and poor Zayn just gets his face drawn on.”

baby thinking of you keeps me up all night by ballsdeepinjesus

“Louis sputters in response, shaking his head wildly. Harry moves closer, placing his hand on Louis’ chest and trailing it up towards his neck to curve around. “I am younger than you. Bet you like that. Think you can push me around.”

Louis fishmouths, glaring at Harry who reminds him suspiciously of a shark at the moment. He smells blood in the water.

“Is that what this is about, Louis?” Harry asks. He leans in and fits his mouth against Louis’ earlobe, huffing hot breaths into his ear. “You want to fuck me, don’t you?”

[harry is a 19 y/o singer and louis is a 29 y/o actor with no love for teenage popstars.]”

but when we kiss... by @indiaalphawhiskey

“Louis only nodded, still smiling. “Right, okay. As much fun as this has been, I really doubt the lovely heated seating of my car will dull our banter. Or...” he dragged out the ‘r’, eyes mischievous. “Are you really going to let a…” he assessed Harry. “Twenty? Twenty year gap,” he confirmed. “Be the reason you get hypothermia? Is that really the hill you want to freeze on, Mr. Principled?”

–– Or, while Harry and Louis adore the chase, they find they adore each other much, much more.”

boom, boom, don’t you wanna go by anonymous

“It doesn't take much to convince Harry to participate in Lambda Sig's annual ceremony for graduating seniors. She's hooked up with a few of the brothers already anyway, as lackluster as they were. She has to have her legs and bare bottom half on display for the rest of the brothers in the senior class to see, but she's always kind of liked being played with and definitely likes being on display. She's graduating in a few weeks anyway. What's the worst that can happen?

She doesn't expect contestant number fifteen to blow her mind in the first round. He doesn't let up.”

caught in your gravity by @lululawrence

“It felt like the blood froze in Harry’s veins even as he got a bit lightheaded. He hadn’t even made it two practices, only one of which he was remotely in charge of, without giving it all away and now he and Liam were both absolutely fucked.

“Shit,” Harry breathed out. “Who all have you told? Does everyone know? I thought I covered it better than that…”

“No, no,” Louis said quickly. "They’ll figure it out soon enough, though, because they’ll get used to you changing things up, but you’re only going to trip over your so called Americanisms for so long before they realize it’s because you don’t actually know fuck all about football.”

Harry sighed. “Yeah. I figured. I just need to bullshit for long enough to allow Liam to get the situation figured out from his end.”

“Right, which brings me to my entire point. I think we can find a mutually beneficial arrangement with all of this.” Louis leaned forward. “You need to learn the ins and outs of the sport incredibly fast. I can help you with that.”

“What do you want in exchange?”

Or, an AU inspired by a 30 second trailer of Ted Lasso that doesn't actually have much in common with the show at all.”

counting the steps between us by zarah5

“AU. So, yeah. That year abroad helped Harry establish that he is in love with his best friend. Now, if Louis would stop treating him like a little brother, that would be awesome. (Additional ingredients: a collapsing tree house, a lot of pining, the other three boys as Louis' new best mates from university, and a camping trip. Serve hot.)”

come in and change my life by @lightwoodsmagic

“He’d had the same neighbours since he’d moved into the building, a lovely, wealthy couple in their late sixties who had always invited him around for tea on Sundays. Martha had dropped off homemade biscuits the day he’d moved in, so Harry figured he may as well repeat the sentiment. He could hear someone getting closer to the door just as a flush ran through his body; oh fuck. His heat was close, too close to be knocking on a potentially unknown alpha’s door, but it was too late. The door swung open, and Harry’s mouth dropped. He’d never been overly interested in football, couldn’t find the fascination in watching men run around after a ball for hours aside from their uniforms, but he knew who this was. Louis Tomlinson, alpha, captain of Manchester United, star in a number of Harry’s heat addled fantasies, was his new next-door neighbour.

Or, Harry and Louis become friends when Harry looks after Louis' cat during away games, until one night at a party changes everything between them. It's just a shame Louis' going to be away for the FIFA World Cup for three months.”

cookie jar by fanshae

“Louis catches Harry with his hand in the metaphorical cookie jar and stays to watch.”

counterculture by @sadaveniren

“It all culminated to this: Harry in the middle of a crowded basement, music blasting from the live show on the far side, shirtless amongst alphas and omegas who all weren’t covering their scents. He took a deep breath of the heavy air and he felt alive.”

convalescent boy (with a heart of gold) by @londonfoginacup

“Just as the professor beginning to mess with his powerpoint, the door at the back of the balcony creaks open and Marcel looks back to notice Louis Tomlinson, The Louis Tomlinson, slip in and take a seat in the very back.

Marcel is starting to feel like his life is a comedy. Only yesterday was Louis Tomlinson on his floor at the library. Now he’s in his seminar. What is happening?

“Hey Mars,” Nick says, not particularly quietly as he leans over. “Isn’t that your crush?”

Marcel smacks him.

Or, the one where Marcel is a nerd who loves to learn but loves to go to theatre productions even more, and may or may not have a long time crush on the lead in most of the plays, Louis Tomlinson. The same Louis Tomlinson who seems to be appearing wherever Marcel is. Funny, that.”

drape me in your warmth by @husbandau

“TMH era fic where Harry is an omega whose heat comes a little earlier than expected and really, who is Louis to deny him his knot?”

deep in my heart i know there’s only you by ballsdeepinjesus

“"Will you do it?” Harry whispers. Louis has to lean closer just to hear him. He furrows his brows and shakes his head, not knowing what Harry means. “Would you donate for me?”

Louis is dumbfounded. “I’m sorry, I thought you just asked if I’d donate my sperm. Can you repeat yourself?”

[harry and louis are best friends who engage in some platonic baby-making. very platonic.]”

don’t move in (don’t move out) by @2tiedships2

“Only one more week and Harry would be living under the same roof. Gone would be Liam’s alpha scent, quickly replaced with Harry’s. All Harry. Louis was going to fucking die. You’d think Louis would be used to it by now, that Harry’s scent would simply fade into the background like Liam’s did. But Louis had a feeling he would simultaneously be living in Heaven and Hell once Harry moved in.

Louis was pulled out of his thoughts when Niall smacked him on the back of his head.

"The fuck was that for?" Louis asked, rubbing his head and looking at the bloody Irishman he called his other best friend.

"You were basically drooling, mate,” Niall said. “That was a courtesy smack to keep your daydreaming from seeping into your pheromones."”

do you like my sweater? by @icanhazzalou

““Look, for a Sadie Hawkins dance the omegas are supposed to invite the alphas instead of the other way around.”

Niall and Liam shared a look. “That… sounds like the sort of thing you would usually be all over, Lou,” Liam said, face pinched in confusion. Niall nodded his agreement.

“Yeah, if omegas were hosting it,” Louis replied sourly. “It’s one thing if we decide that we’re going to ask the alphas for a change. It’s insulting that they think we need their permission.”

When Harry's alpha fraternity decides to host a Sadie Hawkins dance, outspoken omega Louis has a thing or two to say about it.”

don’t have to go to the pool by @kingsoftheimpossible

“Louis is the captain of the swim team, Harry is in love with him a bit, and there's this ritual before Big Meets. Everything goes fine. alternative summary: a suspicious lack of swimming for a story involving a swim team.”

dom louis by @comebackassholes (summary is from first work in the series)

“Dear Mr. Louis, Hello. I’m Harry. I got your contact from a good friend of mine and was wondering if I can get your services. My 30th birthday is coming up and all I’ve ever wanted is to get spanked, maybe more? If you’re interested, please contact me. I’d love to hear from you. Sincerely, Harry Marcel reads over the words. He guesses there isn’t a much better way to ask for what he needs. He almost changes the name again but decides Harry is fine. It’s generic and nothing that can be traced to him. At least he doesn’t think so. Okay, he’s overthinking again so he clicks the send button before he can talk himself out of it. His heart races as soon as he does. He almost wants to take it back, figure out a way to undo it, but he takes a big gulp of his wine to calm down. It’s fine. This is fine. He can do this.”

do not falter (there’s a star ahead) by @londonfoginacup

“It's Christmas Eve, and every single one of Louis' family members are crowded inside his little flat. Really, what more could he ask for on his birthday?

The present he never knew he wanted - in the form of an omega from his past - might just make this his most memorable Christmas.”

enjoy the ride by @2tiedships2

““Stop sulking and get up. I have a proposition to make.”

“Niall?” Louis questioned. “Do you think I should put glow in the dark stars on my ceiling?”

He looked over and found Niall giving him an unimpressed look.

“So, no?” Louis asked. “No stars?”

“We’re going on a road trip,” Niall stated.

Louis looked back at his starless ceiling and waved farewell to Niall. “Cool. Have fun!”

“No, you idiot.” Niall let out a frustrated sigh. “You, me, Liam, and Harry.”

Louis glanced over to Niall and back to the ceiling. “Who’s Harry?”

Or the one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.”

even as young as you are by ologist

“Harry’s sister has a baby. When he goes to meet her, he finds more than one new love of his life at the hospital.”

everywhere and nowhere by @2tiedships2

“Niall took a seat and said, "Apparently Louis' downstairs neighbor is a fan of giving Louis creepy gifts. Maybe I should go introduce myself and tell him that Louis actually prefers food."

"What has he given you?" Liam asked.

Louis shrugged as it were no big deal. "There was a rabbit's foot keychain on the door a little after he left from introducing himself and there was a small teddy bear sitting by my door tonight. Obviously I can't prove it's from him, but they seem to have his scent. I could be wrong though."

"Wow," Liam said, looking deep in thought. "That's old school."

"What's old school?" Niall asked. "Giving creepy gifts?"

"I've never known an alpha to do it, to be honest, but he's courting you."

Louis couldn't contain his look of disbelief directed at Liam. "He's courting me. Like some sort of romantic shit they'd do in the 1800s or something?"”

from eight until late, i think about you by supernope

“After finding out that his University of Brighton roommate has a YouTube channel, Harry starts up his own channel, on which he posts videos of himself doing weekly challenges. He strikes up a friendship with Louis, a popular youtuber in London, that starts in the comments on their videos and progresses to texting, skyping, and talking about each other in their own videos far too often. They fall for each other long-distance, but put off meeting face-to-face as long as possible, too nervous that they'll screw it all up.

Involves a bunch of YouTube challenges (AKA excuses for Harry to get naked), some awkward snapchat mishaps, and a whole lot of pining.”

face your fears by @sadaveniren

“Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.”

foolishly, completely falling by dea_liberty

“"Now that he’s actually gone and done it, there seems to be no way of going back - no rinse and repeat, no ctrl+alt+del, no abort button, no help to be had. He’s fallen into a black hole and he cannot seem to find a way out. The black hole is also known as Tumblr. More specifically, it’s known as Tumblr’s Larry Stylinson tag."

OR: The one where Louis becomes a Larry shipper by accident.”

faking it by @donotdialnine

“A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?

Aka Harry pretends to date his best friend to escape unwanted attention from a too insistent classmate and hopes it won’t blow up in his face. Featuring embarrassing dildo accidents, awkward boners, longing, first times, late night conversations, emotional discoveries and Niall as the exasperated friend with bad advice.”

feel so foolish by @juliusschmidt

“Louis and his friends keep laughing at Harry; he's sure of it. But he's not sure why.”

fever started long ago by @mediaville

“"Stay." His brain is skipping backwards but his mouth is skipping forward. "Like, in this bed? With me."

The words hang in the air, somewhere in between their naked chests. Louis licks his lips, and a tiny crinkle appears between his eyebrows. "Why?"

Does there have to be a reason for everything? Does everything have to be a debate? Why does Louis ask 'why?' and not 'why not?' Harry's already annoyed that he wants him to stay. "I'm ill," he says, sniffling for good measure. "I need supervision."

Louis hesitates, looking uncertain, and Harry doesn't like that look on him. "It's late," he says eventually. "You need your rest."

"We'll sleep," Harry promises, and as if on cue, he yawns. He is rather sleepy. "It will be restful."

SPOILER: Styles gets his way. It's not restful.”

fiction romance by orphan account

“Harry has a type.

He likes older, sophisticated, mature men. Well-educated men. Men with life experience and passion for arts and social causes. Men who are established in their careers, who've sorted their lives out.

Niall knows this.

And so Harry can't understand why he's sat here opposite Louis Tomlinson.

A punk Louis/uni Harry blind date AU.”

freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this by @rosesau

“Harry (not so) secretly crushes on the cute footie player and fills pages with sketches of him.”

follow me down this time by supernope

“Harry first noticed Louis in his second term at Hogwarts, and despite three years of inventing ways to stumble across Louis, he's never managed to actually work up the courage to speak to him. Also known as, self-indulgent Hogwarts AU, because every fandom needs Hogwarts AUs.”

faith, trust, and a little pixie dust by orphan account

“Louis loves Halloween. Harry hates everything about it, but he loves Louis. And Niall loves vodka and glitter so there's that.

Or the one where Harry has been pining for his best friend and roommate for years. It takes a costume party, an Irish fairy and a sprinkle of pixie dust to give this fairytale prince his happy ending.”

foolishly laying our hearts on the table by @runaway-train-works

““You think Harry wants that?”

“Dunno. Maybe. Wanna make him happy.” Harry takes advantage of the red light he’s pulled up to turn and look properly at Louis’ face. He’s not even looking in Harry’s direction though, focused instead on something out of his side window, head drooped, mindlessly playing with the string of his hoodie between his fingers, lost in his own world somewhere. For some reason, it makes Harry’s spine straighten.

“Because he’s your best mate?” Harry questions carefully.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

He couldn’t have heard him right. “What?”

Louis releases a deep breath, still not turning around. Harry wonders who he thinks he’s talking to right now. “He’s so pretty. Want to kiss him all day long. And buy him a big house and give him presents and marry him.”

The one where Harry is in love with his best friend Louis but doesn't think he stands a chance until some wisdom teeth and a rather unusual confession might just change his mind.”

give you my fever by beautlouis

“And he’s wanted it even more since he met Louis, it's driven him insane, he spends 90% of his life turned on because of Louis and he’s had no relief at all. He’ll wake up at night too hot and itchy, with Louis warm and sweet smelling next to him, and unable to do anything but wank unsuccessfully, with no release. “I can try,” Louis says, close enough that Harry’s eyes cross a little trying to look at him. “I want to, I’ve never been with anybody, like, I’ve snogged people, lots of people, but I’ve never—touched anyone.” He clears his throat. “I’d touch you, Hazza.”

Harry’s breathing picks up. “Yes.” He doesn’t think there was a question but he’s a little overwhelmed. “Yes,” he repeats, dizzy.

*x-factor era. harry's never had an orgasm before, louis gives him his first”

gathered on wings by @twopoppies

“As Harry lay by Louis’ side, covered in sweat and come, he knew he should feel ugly, messy, ruined, like the life he’d left behind. But something about the way Louis looked at him, the way he stared at him with want and awe, made Harry wonder if he’d ever feel this beautiful again.

Harry rolled his eyes at himself for his momentary romantic dreaminess. As good as this was, he knew it was nothing more than sex. He literally couldn’t afford to fall for just anyone, no matter how fit they were.

-----

What Harry Styles wanted was to be taken seriously as an artist. What he needed was a new sugar daddy to pave the way. Louis Tomlinson is an artist who isn’t what Harry is looking for. Somehow he still manages to turn Harry's world upside down. “

gorgeous (it makes me so mad) by @artxghoul

“Harry’s a coffee barista with nothing really going on for him except for the occasional flirting with, some, particularly hot male customers. But when a new guy starts coming in, he suddenly doesn’t know what to make out of any single situation anymore.

or: Harry is a hot mess. Liam is a brilliant roommate. Niall is a wise lesbian co-worker. Clifford is a good boy. Louis is a bad boy. Circumstances are bizarre.”

got my eyes on you by @eleadore

“Harry’s not supposed to take off his clothes, but it’s one of those unspoken rules, much like don’t have a wank with your best mate and definitely don’t make that a regular thing, fuck, what the fuck.”

give a little sing to the singles by @londonfoginacup

“Harry Styles is an adult now, with a real adult job (and benefits! Whatever those are!). He spends his days at the copier. Copying things.

That being said, no one told Harry that being an adult came with a confusingly chaotic boss, a copier machine that would be hell-bent on ruining his life, and a coworker so good looking that Harry might just have to quit. After all, Christmas is coming and if their office doesn’t win the decorating contest, Louis has threatened to break several laws and kneecaps in retaliation.

Happy Christmas, here’s to many more.”

haven by orphan account

“"I take it you’re not a new student?” “What?” Harry mumbles, caught up in the way his eyes are quite literally sparkling in the light. “Oh—No. Not a student.” “Are you a sub?” Louis asks. Harry clenches his hands into fists, holding them behind his back as he stumbles a bit. “I don’t, uh—I mean. I’ve never really gotten a chance to be a true sub, you know? My ex-partners were always scared they’d hurt me. But, like—If I trusted someone a lot, and if we used a, a safeword. And talked about, you know, boundaries, then—Yes, yeah, I-I’m a sub.” Louis’ eyes are so wide, his cheeks puffing out in the effort to not burst into laughter. “Oh shit, oh my god,” Harry whispers. “You meant—Oh god."”

horizontal like a quarter to three by orphan account

“The worst part is that Louis just wants to get really rough with him. He's wanted it right from the start, and it doesn't make sense, because Harry's always been so gentle and understanding and sweet, and yet all Louis wants to do is fuck him up.”

homegrown by casuallyhl

““It wasn’t an easy decision, if I’m honest,” Harry admits, shoulders sagging in on himself. “Moving is really difficult. My whole life was in Manchester. But Manchester didn’t want me. Leeds did.”

“Well, Leeds is happy to have you,” Louis says, giving Harry a kind smile.

Harry brightens a bit at that, undeniably pleased. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis replies, expression soft and lips curved.

Or, a gardening AU where Harry is new to town and the newest volunteer at the local gardening club, Louis is the attractive grandson of one of the members, and the nosy volunteers hatch a plan to get them together.”

hike up your skirt (and show your world to me) by anonymous

“Louis has a very hands on approach to training his new secretary. How else can he make sure Harry realizes his full potential?”

have a nice trip by @kingsofeverything

“While Harry and his roommate Louis are stuck at home practicing social distancing, they decide to take a little trip to pass the time.”

holiday greetings (and gay happy meetings) by @2tiedships2

“"Onwards to drop me off at Robert's before you go to Harry's!" Louis proclaimed when they were safely in the car. Or at least Louis was safely in. Niall was still brushing the snow out of his hair that Louis had accidentally dropped on him.

"We're picking up biscuits first," Niall grumbled as the snow melted into his hair. "You can wait in the car."

After three times of the car sounding like it was dying a slow and tragic death, it finally decided to start.

"This is what happens when you try to change the name of your car after five years," Louis said as a reminder of Niall's stupidity. "You'd be upset too if you were a car named Greased Lightning with a passenger trying to get it renamed to Dusty."

"To be fair," Niall explained, "the name Dusty does seem a bit more accurate."

"Make sure to leave the car running while you're getting whatever you're getting from Harry," Louis said in disgust. "This car is going to choke for good after that comment and I don't want to be stuck at Harry's place when that happens."

Or the one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?”

hard for me to know i might see you around by @coffeelouis

“The next profile shows a guy and his horse both crashing into the ground, the bio below reading:

"Hi, I'm Louis, I suck at riding horses so I ride dick."

Harry rolls his eyes and swipes left, but before he can consider the next profile in his feed, there’s a quiet “Oof” from right behind him.

[or, a TINDER AU where Harry swipes left on Louis' joke of a profile, then ends up stuck next to him on a trans-Atlantic flight.]”

in all its imperfections by @briannamarguerite

“From: Louis Tomlinson To: Undisclosed Recipients

Hello!

I’ve asked the front desk and you lovely folks are the ones who are on the same level as me in the car park. I found a to-do list today that looked somewhat important because it has lines of poetry scribbled at the bottom that seemed like they might be for a card project. The stationary has a moose in a canoe at the top of it (and he is quite adorable). Let me know if it’s yours!

Cheers!

“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Harry whispered, his eyes darting over the sentences again willing them not to make sense. They did, they did make sense. “Oh. My. Bloody. Fucking. God.”

The next thing he knew he was on the floor, staring at the ceiling, with a very concerned Liam hovering over his head.

"What happened, mate?" Liam asked.

Harry just pointed to his computer.

Liam bent over Harry’s desk to read the email. “What? This isn’t bad. Is that your to-do list? Did you finally come up with the inside text for those cards?”

“Leeyum" he groaned. “It’s what’s on the list.”

“Oh,” Liam paused for a beat. “Is it dirty stuff?”

Harry nodded.

There was more silence. And then, “Dirty stuff with Louis?””

i wanna get dirty with you by awriterwrites

““You good?”

The man’s voice rang out like clear bells from a church tower, light and airy with a gentle rasp like a knife on toast.

It took Harry a moment to realize he was talking to him.

“Me?” Harry squeaked out, his voice a bit wobbly around the edges.

“Just waiting for you to get settled, sweetheart.”

This guy was a naturalist? The headmaster of an outdoor preschool? Harry felt a little woozy. Like he might collapse or propose. He wasn’t quite sure.

**** Harry is a kindergarten teacher. Louis is revolutionizing education--one child at a time. A conference may be an unlikely place to meet someone, but somehow Harry finds Louis and Louis helps Harry find himself.”

i don’t wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your neck by crybaby

“Harry has been in love with Louis Tomlinson for four years, five months, and thirteen days.

Harry had fallen in love with Louis Tomlinson like how he’d seen in movies, and how he’d read in all the books he’d stolen from Gemma, headfirst and shameless.

The only problem was, that in films and books, love was always either returned instantly, or else it took time for unrequited love to lose the first two letters, and since the first option was obviously not true, Harry decided he would wait for the second to become reality. And so Harry waited, three years, eight months, and four days, before his heart had been broken by a gentle rejection and a misplaced blowjob, before Louis and Gemma had packed up and gone to Manchester for university.

(Harry is a hopelessly romantic omega and Louis is his sister's best friend)”

i want your high love and emotion, endlessly by deLILAh

“au. louis is sick of vajazzling, harry is saving up for a tandem bike, and they master their own destinies.

[or, camboy harry goes in for some intimate detailing, and something big happens.]”

if tomorrow never comes (we had last night) by @fallinglikethis and @all-these-larrythings

“Louis accepts the call without bothering to look at the caller ID. Only Zayn would be a big enough asshole to call him at two in the morning. This fucking better be important. “This fucking better be important,” Louis greets.

On the other end of the line comes a soft giggle. “Li, you don’t usually curse. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I like it.”

Yeah, that’s not Zayn. Louis sighs, his anger melting into resignation when he realizes that it’s some poor bastard probably drunk dialing his ex or something. “Sorry, mate. Think you’ve got the wrong number.” Based on this Tumblr prompt: "Accidentally called your number while drunk asking for a ride and you actually came au"”

i’ll crash until you notice me by @aliensingucci

“Louis sets off to Barbados to oversee the massive resort his family owns known as Sandy Hill. For years, he's been looking for a change in the monotony of his life, seeking adventure and perhaps love too. What he doesn't expect is the bright eyed boy who spills a milkshake on his shoes.

Cue the summer loving.”

into another (another) serotonin overflow by mercutionotromeo

“Harry wants this year to be different - wants it to be the year that he finally gets over this stupid crush. He’s going to uni, he needs to decide what he wants to do with his life.

Instead, he’s deciding what he wants to do to Louis Tomlinson.

Or: Sweet first time sex wherein Harry's adorably awkward, Louis is achingly cool, and Harry rides Louis wearing his jersey.”

i’ve been thinking ‘bout it all day lsforever

“When he heard about the job opening, from his nosy Aunt of course, Harry was ecstatic to go down there and talk to the shop owner. Her name is Perrie, and she and her best friend Louis opened the shop together not too long ago. Harry remembers the pair well from when he was in school.

or, Harry gets a job in Perrie and Louis' potion shop. He wasn't planning on the huge crush he develops on his boss.”

i’m not that other guy by @jaerie

“Harry has just come back from maternity leave when he unexpectedly goes into heat. He runs into a coworker on his way out.”

introduction to dynamics by @juliusschmidt

“Louis Tomlinson is the outspoken omega in the 'Introduction to Dynamics' course Harry wishes he didn't have to take. He's nearly certain to present as a beta, after all. Things will be simple for him.”

it’s not what it looks like by @kingsofeverything

“Quarantine allows Harry the time to improve his sewing skills, thanks to the face masks he makes for friends and family. Proud of his work, he posts a picture on Instagram, but it's not what it looks like.”

i’d burn this city down to show you the light by @nobodymoves

“Harry's a sheltered rich kid and Louis's a punk with a heart of gold. They meet when Louis breaks into Harry's house, Harry obtains an instant and all-encompassing crush, and they spend the summer falling into a whirlwind romance.”

i made a map of your stars by @brightbluelou

“Harry does not have a crush on Louis Tomlinson. Yes, Louis is very pretty and funny, and Harry may have had more than a few inappropriate thoughts about him, but he certainly doesn’t like him. (Except for the fact that he totally does.) or, Harry is the shy boy in the back of the class that no one really notices. Louis is the loud, outgoing football player that everybody likes.”

in dreams by @haydolce

“AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.”

i do not feel the fear of falling (thought i could fly) by turismoemocional

“"After months of being showered with attention from the gorgeous boy, Louis feels like he’s experiencing a drought, and he yearns for even a single look in his general direction. He's pining and he knows it, feels like he's wilting. He can’t decide if being fired and arrested and disowned by his mum would have been the better outcome at this point."

Or - Harry is 19, Louis is 25. Student/Teacher relationships should remain strictly professional at all times... That's not to say they always do. Things get messy quickly.”

it’s halftime. are you ready to go? by @gaycousinlarry

“Reason #12 - Because it's halftime.

Harry would like to think that he doesn’t know how he got himself into this. Only… he’d be lying. Because he knows exactly how he got himself into this. Oh man, does he know, and it’s all because of a certain Louis Tomlinson. Alternatively - football is gay and Harry is trying to cope.”

it’s like i breathe you by orphan account

“Louis shrugs, grabbing the smoothie and taking a sip of it. He’s not really bragging. But. “I’ve kind of always had everything I wanted.”

“Everything?” Harry asks, genuinely interested, his green eyes wide.

Louis looks at Harry, smiling at him across the table and twirling a curl around his finger. Not everything.

or the one where louis volunteers to teach high school students about the ropes of business and running a company of your own, but he certainly does not plan on running into harry styles.”

i know how to whisk (but teach me anyway) by @2tiedships2

“Louis scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t understand. Unmated alphas don’t just go into a rut out of nowhere. Unless…”

Louis grabbed onto Niall’s arm in desperation. “Am I a homewrecker? Does Harry have a mate? Oh my God, was he not flirting? Did the change in his scent not have anything to do with my smell yesterday? Did I just make that up!?”

Louis let go of Niall and dropped his face in his hands. “I knew it was too good to be true.”

“You’re an idiot,” Niall stated. Louis looked up to find Niall rolling his eyes. He snapped his laptop closed and moved to stand up. “I need to get some work done. Why don’t you stay here and think back to ABO dynamics 101.”

With that Niall hopped off the couch and headed to his room. He stopped and turned to Louis before he made it to the hall and said, “Oh, and Lou. You may want to reconsider your outlook on soulmates.”

Louis yelled after him. “Soulmates aren’t a thing, Niall!”

Or the one in which banana bread just might make Louis change his mind about soulmates.”

it’s in the contract by anonymous

““I can’t make rent this month,” Harry says.

“Awesome,” says Mitch. Mitch is the house leader. He’s the one leading the house meeting. “Free your schedule on Friday, Phi Sigma Kappa are coming over for game night anyway.

Harry swallows, nodding. “Alright,” he says.

Harris puts a hand on his thigh. “Hey,” he whispers into Harry’s ear. “I’d pay at least thirty for you.”

Harry snorts. “Thanks,” he says. “Good to know I’m an expensive bitch.””

just jump by @jaerie

“Finally, after years of suffering alone, the insurance plan at Harry's new job covered omega heat services. As a grown omega adult, it finally felt like the right time to try it out. And, since taking an entire week of heat leave would really put him behind at work, using a service to shorten it seemed like a responsible decision. At least that’s how he rationalized it. He was nervous about his decision but it was too late. The doorbell rang.

“Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.””

just for me by @canonlarry

“Harry is a supermodel with a fake boyfriend. Louis is the captain and star forward of Manchester United with a fake girlfriend. They should have no problem having a completely platonic lunch between friends.

(They do.)”

just one look (and i fell so hard) by @disgruntledkittenface

“Louis takes a small step back, breaking the moment first. “Well, I should–”

“Do you want to come up?”

The words are out of Harry’s mouth before he’d even planned them, and he bites his lip.

“Oh, thank god,” Louis laughs, stepping back into Harry’s space. “I wasn’t, um…” “Wasn’t ready to let go of you yet,” Harry finishes quietly, glancing up at Louis. “Yeah,” Louis nods, reaching up and twirling one of Harry’s curls in his fingers. “Yeah, exactly.”

Harry has wanted to go to the Shubert Theatre ever since he moved to New York and lucked into a rent-controlled apartment just outside of the Theatre District. When he finally gets his chance, he hopes the night can meet his sky-high expectations. But the last thing he could have expected was the man seated next to him.”

know you better. by @wabadabadaba

“It didn't help that oftentimes Niall and Zayn's other friend, Louis joined them and from all the stories Marcel has heard about Louis, he was positive they wouldn't get along. From their description, Louis was loud, annoying, and competitive. He liked to tease Niall and Zayn mercilessly and he was creative. Being a tattoo artist, Louis knew things about art that Marcel would simply never understand due to his analytical mindset. He was the complete opposite of Marcel and Marcel didn't think he would ever last in a social setting where he had to be with Louis.

or the one where Marcel and Louis fall in love.”

kiss me on the mouth and set me free by @maggieisalarrie

“Louis has his head thrown back in a laugh, his wet fringe hanging in front of his eyes, and a beautiful flush to his cheeks. From this angle, the sun hits his face just right to where the beams of light are shining in between the spaces of each individual clump of watered down eyelashes. His chest is showing through the soaked material of his white jersey and it seems that his biceps are attempting to break free from the sleeves that are clinging to his skin.

And Harry can do nothing except take it all in. He doesn’t even think he’s breathing at this point. He is literally stuck in place, admiring the true beauty of Louis Tomlinson, while being surrounded by fit footballers and generally attractive people. He doesn’t think he’s ever been in love before, but if Louis let him, he’s pretty damn sure he could change that in the matter of a few nanoseconds.”

kiss from a rose by @chloehl10

“Harry is the quiet one in the office no one ever notices. Until Louis does, that is. When notes start appearing on Harry’s desk, he ponders who is behind the kind words, oblivious to Louis’ attempts to get his attention...”

knock knock, i love you by beautlouis

““Well,” Louis says, searching for something to relieve this tension. “I think if a bloke gets kicked out of his stats exam for a knock knock joke, he deserves to hear the punchline, yeah?”

“Oh!” Harry says, beaming. “I forgot where we left off, what was it again?” He looks overjoyed to be exchanging a shit joke.

“Ah, you said knock knock, then I said who’s there, and then you said Noah,” Louis supplies helpfully. He hates that he's actually curious about the rest of the joke. “So, Noah who?”

“Oh,” says Harry, in a much different tone, dragging out the syllable. He looks bashful now. Louis cannot keep up with this boy, it's going to kill him. “Right, well.” He shuffles his feet. Fuck, what kind of knock knock joke gets a boy nervous? “Noah a good place we could get something to eat?”

[Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.]”

love is divine by @aliensingucci

“Being a witch doesn't help when it comes to unrequited love.”

let me outshine the moon by sarcasticfluentry

““Fuck,” echoes Liam, shaking his head at them with a small smile on his face. “Just don’t get yourselves killed.”

“You can come too, if you want,” says Niall, standing up.

“I wouldn’t be caught dead at a vampire bar,” Liam scoffs, standing up as well. “Wait. Fuck.”

...or, boarding school students Niall and Harry chance a trip to the local vampire bar.”

let’s talk about making love by istajmaal

““That’s my name, baby, I’m Louis.” The voice on the phone inhales sharply, then says, “Gonna take my cock now, princess?”

Harry lets out a high-pitched mhmm and shudders as he pulls his fingers out of his hole, groping for the vibrator. “Nice to meet you,” he says, feeling a bit dizzy with how hard his untouched cock is.

Louis is just a simple phone sex line operator, but to Harry, he's Daddy.“”

loving you is free by @littlelouishiccups

“Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn't been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.”

laundry room by beautlouis

“The third Wednesday of the new year, Louis finds himself in the laundry room, just as he was the last Wednesday and the one before that. He’s doing pretty well with his New Year’s resolution. The only problem so far is the company he finds in the laundry room. It seems that it’s just him and one other boy who’ve chosen late Wednesday nights as prime laundry-doing time. That wouldn’t be a problem except for who the other boy is.

He’s seen this boy around; it’s hard to miss the long-legged, long-haired dream that lives in Louis’ complex. He likes to wear very sheer shirts and very high boots; he is incredibly fucking gorgeous and yeah, Louis’ noticed him but he’s never spoken to him. Until tonight, apparently.

[Louis and Harry are both students living in the same apartment complex. They end up having the same laundry night and time. Louis can't stop staring at Harry and he can't figure out why Harry consistently points out Louis’ inside-out shirts, and his untied shoes, and messy hair. Enter slow burn-ish flirting, banter, awkwardness, and a lot of laundry.]”

lead me out on the moonlit floor by @scrunchyharry and @beauxbatonslouis

“In all honesty, Harry was long forgotten, cast aside by a dimpled stranger and too much champagne. He was almost glad, now, that Harry hadn’t come, because he wouldn’t have met this stranger, this tall man who could make his heart flutter with a single glance.

Victorian!AU where Louis is a wealthy lord throwing a masquerade ball for his birthday and Harry is a toymaker who's only confident when he's wearing a mask.”

let our hearts collide by @crinkle-eyed-boo

““Liam is in a coma.” “Yeah, we can see that,” the father says, throwing his hands in the air. “God, this is the most depressing Christmas ever,” the blonde sister mutters. “His vital signs are strong,” Dr. Higgins assures them. “Brain waves are good–” “Brain waves?” the mother wails, taking Liam’s hand in hers. “Oh my God!” “How did this happen?” the father demands. “Um, he was pushed from the platform at the subway station,” Harry pipes up. The entire family turns to look at him, confused. Harry shrinks back, wishing he could have just kept his big mouth shut. “Who’s this?” the father asks, pointing at him. “Um, I’m Harry–” he starts. “He’s Liam’s fiancé!” Jade adds helpfully from where she stands by the door. Every jaw in the room drops, including Harry’s. Oh, shit. Shit shit shit. What?

When Harry, a lonely transit worker, saves the life of the handsome commuter he's been secretly pining for, an innocent mistake results in Liam Payne's family believing that Harry is engaged to their son. In the Paynes, Harry finds the big family he's always longed for...and a love he never saw coming.

A While You Were Sleeping AU”

lemon eyes by @turnyourankle

“It's not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn't give a damn what's proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he's concerned, the right alpha won't care, and he'll have some fun on the way.

And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?”

like how your hands feel me up and down by ballsdeepinjesus

““How do I look?” Harry asks lowly. He turns around and gestures towards the unzipped back of his skirt for him to help. Louis stumbles forward and places a cold hand on the exposed side of Harry’s stomach, steadying him while he pulls the zipper up the rest of the way. He pushes Harry back into the dressing room and stands behind him in front of the mirror. “It’s -- you’re tight,” Louis chokes. “It’s tight, I mean. It’s. Yes.” His hand is curved around his hip now, squeezing lightly.

“Tight’s good, right?” Harry murmurs, batting his eyelashes. He almost can’t believe himself.

“Very good,” Louis grunts.

[louis works in a halloween shop and harry needs a costume]”

my pleasure (to make you mine) by @zanniscaramouche

““Think about it.” Niall raises an eyebrow at him before amiably leading the interrupting customer to the other side of the store.

And the thing is, even a day later, Harry's done nothing but think about piercing his nipples.

Harry decides to get his nipples pierced. Louis is the piercing artist with a smile that breaks every rule of the universe.”

my service, your pleasure by @hershelsue

“Harry moves in with Louis, his childhood best friend. He had always enjoyed doing things for him, never putting much thought into it. What happens when they're in the same space all the time and Harry can't keep his hands to himself? Surely, his adoration bursts at the seams and a very suspicious Louis tries his best to keep up.”

milk kinship by @jaerie

“Harry had aspired to become a wet nurse since first learning about the honored and respected tradition when he was a teenager. The first documentary he’d seen had been detailed and brutally honest and Harry had still fallen in love with the idea. It’s origins were rooted in highly regarded positions of the royal staff and were credited in playing a role in the lives of some of the most famous children in history. There were medically trained wet nurses and other milk services for mothers unable to feed their babies, but true wet nurse nannies could only be afforded by the rich and famous. The glamorous life appealed to Harry even if his understanding of his role changed to a more realistic view over time. As a starry eyed kid, that was where he wanted to be.

Or Harry is a wet nurse and isn't allowed to have an alpha. He may or may not break his vows.”

make tea, not war by @whateverdelusional and @popsongnation

“"Is he the messiest?"

"Yes."

"Does he do the washing up?"

"Never."

"Does he make his bed?"

"Never."

"Hopeless, hopeless flatmate. Would you rather be with one of these guys?"

"Nope!"

Or: Louis attempts to become a better flatmate, much to Harry's dismay.”

masterpiece by @rainbowsandlovehl

“Harry stared at his phone for five minutes, waiting for a response before giving up. He scrolled through instagram for a while but nothing caught his fancy. He sighed deeply, glancing up for a second before looking at his phone again then blinked. Wait a second... Harry’s head snapped up quickly and he did a double take because this guy surely hadn’t been there the last time Harry had checked the place. No, this person was new and beautiful and different and Harry was pretty sure he was openly gaping at him.

Harry is unwillingly dragged to an art gallery by Niall and his evening turns out better than he expected when he meets Louis. Featuring bad pickup lines and ample flirting.”

meow or never by velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses)

“Harry is having a terrible, no good, very bad day.

He’s holed himself up in the back of the university library, stealing an entire sofa for himself. The fact that no one has said anything to him about it just goes to show how much his feelings must be on display. That’s nothing new; Harry’s always worn his heart on his sleeve. And cried easily. Not that he’s crying yet, but he’s close. It’s been a right shit day, and Harry just wants to go back to his room and bury his face in Evie’s soft fur. Unfortunately, he no longer has that luxury.

When Harry is forced to choose between getting kicked out of student housing or giving up his cat, a moment of self-pity leads to the discovery of a third, and much more appealing, option”

my things aren’t the only thing you’ve stolen by beautyhaz

“Harry thinks he's gone insane when things begin to go missing at school and only one boy knows where they are. It turns into more than he expects.”

midnight memories by grand buzz

“Louis Tomlinson is the successful author of several children's books. Those books happen to be the favourites of Eve Styles, Harry’s six year old daughter. Never one to deny her anything, he takes her to a book signing where Louis will also be reading an excerpt from his new book

Of course, Harry doesn't expect to fall in love with the author whose books he reads every night--but that's exactly what happens.“

make him want to sin by @becomeawendybird

“The stranger’s sharp gaze landed on him immediately, the eye contact shattering through Harry’s defenses. For the first time in his life, Harry had an instantaneous reaction to someone. The man stared down at him with interest, like he wanted to take Harry apart and put him back together again, piece by piece. Harry wanted that more than anything, and he wanted it right now. It took every ounce of strength he had ever possessed to not drop down to his knees instinctively.

All from one glance.

Harry is a curatorial assistant at the London Museum of Natural History, on the day of the big annual gala he catches a glimpse of someone unexpected.”

thank you to all the authors for creating wonderful fics! you’re all so talented and valued. :)

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sylvielauffeydottir · 3 years

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Hello, it is I, your friendly neighborhood historian. I am ready to lose followers for this post, but I have two masters degrees in history and one of my focuses has been middle eastern area studies. Furthermore, I’ve been tired of watching the world be reduced to pithy little infographics, and I believe there is no point to my education if I don’t put it to good use. Finally, I am ethnically Asheknazi Jewish. This does not color my opinion in this post — I am in support of either a one or two state solution for Israel and Palestine, depending on the factors determined by the Palestinian Authority, and the Israeli Government does not speak for me. I hate Netanyahu. A lot. With that said, my family was slaughtered at Auschwitz-Birkenau. I have stood in front of that memorial wall at the Holocaust memorial in DC for my great uncle Simon and my great uncle Louis and cried as I lit a candle. Louis was a rabbi, and he preached mitzvot and tolerance. He died anyway.

There’s a great many things I want to say about what is happening in the Middle East right now, but let’s start with some facts.

In early May, there were talks of a coalition government that might have put together (among other parties, the Knesset is absolutely gigantic and usually has about 11-13 political parties at once) the Yesh Atid, a center-left party, and the United Arab List, a Palestinian party. For the first time, Palestinians would have been members of the Israeli government in their own right. And what happened, all of the sudden? A war broke out. A war that, amazingly, seemed to shield Benjamin Netanyahu from criminal prosecution, despite the fact that he has been under investigation for corruption for some time now and the only thing that is stopping a real investigation is the fact that he is Prime Minister.

Funny how that happened.

There’s a second thing people ought to know, and it is about Hamas. I’ve found it really disturbing to see people defending Hamas on a world stage because, whether or not people want to believe it, Hamas is a terrorist organization. I’m sorry, but it is. Those are the facts. I’m not being a right wing extremist or even a Republican or whatever else or want to lob at me here. I’m a liberal historian with some facts. They are a terrorist organization, and they don’t care if their people die.

Here’s what you need to know:

There are two governments for the occupied Palestinian territories in the West Bank and Gaza. In April 2021, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas postponed planned elections. He said it was because of a dispute amid Israeli-annexed East Jerusalum. He is 85 years old, and his Fatah Party is losing power to Hamas. Everyone knows that. Palestinians know that.

Here’s the thing about Hamas: they might be terrorists, but aren’t idiots. They understand that they have a frustrated population filled with people who have been brutalized by their neighbors. And they also understand that Israel has something called the iron dome defense system, which means that if you throw a rocket at it, it probably won’t kill anyone (though there have been people in Israel who died, including Holocaust survivors). Israel will, however, retaliate, and when they do, they will kill Palestinian civilians. On a world stage, this looks horrible. The death toll, because Palestinians don’t have the same defense system, is always skewed. Should the Israeli government do that? No. It’s morally repugnant. It’s wrong. It’s unfair. It’s hurting people without the capability to defend themselves. But is Hamas counting on them to for the propaganda? Yeah. Absolutely. They’re literally willing to kill their other people for it.

You know why this works for Hamas? They know that Israel will respond anyway, despite the moral concerns. And if you’re curious why, you can read some books on the matter (Six Days of War by Michael Oren; The Yom Kippur War by Abraham Rabinovich; Rise and Kill First by Ronen Bergmen; Antisemitism by Deborah Lipstadt; and Israel: A Concise History of a Nation Reborn by Daniel Gordis). The TL;DR, if you aren’t interested in homework, is that Israel believes they have no choice but to defend themselves against what they consider ‘hostile powers.’ And it’s almost entirely to do with the Holocaust. It’s a little David v Goliath. It is, dare I say, complicated.

I’m barely scratching the surface here.

(We won’t get into this in this post, though if you want to DM me for details, it might be worth knowing that Iran funds Hamas and basically supplies them with all of their weapons, and part of the reason the United States has been so reluctant to engage with this conflict is that Iran is currently in Vienna trying to restore its nuclear deal with western powers. The USA cannot afford to piss off Iran right now, and therefore cannot afford to aggravative Hamas and also needs to rely on Israel to destroy Irani nuclear facilities if the deal goes south. So, you know, there is that).

There are some people who will tell you that criticism of the Israel government is antisemitic. They are almost entirely members of the right wing, evangelical community, and they don’t speak for the Jewish community. The majority of Jewish people and Jewish Americans in particular are criticizing the Israeli government right now. The majority of Jewish people in the diaspora and in Israel support Palestinian rights and are speaking out about it. And actually, when they talk about it, they are putting themselves in great danger to do so. Because it really isn’t safe to be visibly Jewish right now. People may not want to listen to Jews when they speak about antisemitism or may want to believe that antisemitism ‘isn’t real’ because ‘the Holocaust is over’ but that is absolutely untrue. In 2019, antisemitic hate crimes in the United States reached a high we have never seen before. I remember that, because I was living in London, and I was super scared for my family at the time. Since then, that number has increased by nearly 400% in the last ten days. If you don’t believe me, have some articles about it (one, two, three, four, and five, to name a few).

I live in New York City, where a man was beaten in Time Square while attending a Free Palestine rally and wearing a kippah. I’m sorry, but being visibly Jewish near a pro-Palestine rally? That was enough to have a bunch of people just start beating on him? I made a previous post detailing how there are Jews being attacked all over the world, and there is a very good timeline of recent hate crimes against Jews that you can find right here. These are Jews, by the way, who have nothing to do with Israel or Palestine. They are Americans or Europeans or Canadians who are living their lives. In some cases, they are at pro-Palestine rallies and they are trying to help, but they just look visibly Jewish. God Forbid we are the wrong ethnicity for your rally, even if we agree.

This is really serious. There are people calling for the death of all Jews. There are people calling for another Holocaust.

There are 14 million Jews in the world. 14 million. Of 7.6 billion. And you think it isn’t a problem the way people treat us?

Anyway (aside from, you know, compassion), why does this matter? This matters because stuff like this deters Jews who want to be part of the pro-Palestine movement because they are literally scared for their safety. I said this before, and I will say it again: Zionism was, historically speaking, a very unpopular opinion. It was only widespread antisemitic violence (you know, the Holocaust) that made Jews believe there was a necessity for a Jewish state. Honestly, it wasn’t until the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting that I supported it the abstract idea too.

I grew up in New York City, I am a liberal Jew, and I believe in the rights of marginalized and oppressed people to self-determine worldwide. Growing up, I also fit the profile of what many scholars describe as the self hating Jew, because I believed that, in order to justify myself in American liberal society, I had to hate Israel, and I had to be anti-Zionist by default, even if I didn’t always understand what ‘Zionism’ meant in abstract. Well, I am 27 years old now with two masters degrees in history, and here is what Zionism means to me: I hate the Israeli government. They do not speak for me. But I am not anti-Zionist. I believe in the necessity for a Jewish state — a state where all Jews are welcome, regardless of their background, regardless of their nationality.

There needs to be a place where Jews, an ethnic minority who are unwelcome in nearly every state in the world, have a place where they are free from persecution — a place where they feel protected. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that place being the place where Jews are ethnically indigenous to. Because believe it or not, whether it is inconvenient, Jews are indigenous to the land of Israel. I’ve addressed this in this post.

With that said, that doesn’t mean you can kick the Palestinian people out. They are also indigenous to that land, which is addressed in the same post, if you don’t trust me.

What is incredible to me is that Zionism is defined, by the Oxford English Dixtionary, as “A movement [that called originally for] the reestablishment of a Jewish nationhood in Palestine, and [since 1948] the development of the State of Israel.” Whether we agree with this or not, there were early disagreements about the location of a ‘Jewish state,’ and some, like Maurice de Hirsch, believed it ought to be located in South America, for example. Others believed it should be located in Africa. The point is that the original plans for the Jewish state were about safety. The plan changed because Jews wanted to return to their homeland, the largest project of decolonization and indigenous reclamation ever to be undertaken by an indigenous group. Whether you want to hear that or not, it is true. Read a book or two. Then you might know what I mean.

When people say this is a complicated issue, they aren’t being facetious. They aren’t trying to obfuscate the point. They often aren’t even trying to defend the Israeli government, because I certainly am not — I think they are abhorrent. But there is no future in the Middle East if the Israelis and Palestinians don’t form a state that has an equal right of return and recognizes both of their indigenousness, and that will never happen if people can’t stop throwing vitriolic rhetoric around. Is the Israeli Government bad? Yes. Are Israeli citizens bad? Largely, no. They want to defend their families, and they want to defend their people. This is basically the same as the fact that Palestinian people aren’t bad, though Hamas often is. And for the love of god, stop defending terrorist organizations. Just stop. They kill their own people for their own power and for their own benefit.

And yes, one more time, the Israeli government is so, so, so wrong. But god, think about your words, and think about how you are enabling Nazis. The rhetoric the left is using is hurting Jews. I am afraid to leave my house. I’m afraid to identify as Jewish on tumblr. I’m afraid for my family, afraid for my friends. People I know are afraid for me.

It’s 2021. I am not my great uncle. I cried for him, but I shouldn’t have to die like him.

Words have consequences. Language has consequences. And genuinely, I do not think everyone is a bad person, so think about what you are putting into the world, because you’d be surprised how often you are doing a Nazi a favor or two.

Is that really what you want? To do a Nazi a favor or two? I don’t think that you do. I hope you don’t, at least.

That’s all. You know, five thousand words later. But uh, think a little. Please.

#jumblr #free palestine #zionism #gaza #signal boost #antisemitism #jew tag

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laynefaire · 2 years

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I was tagged by @allwaswell16 to post five fics of mine I really like (despite her knowing how very much I struggle with self-promotion). I’m going to tag @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed, @evilovesyou, @a-brighter-yellow, @haztobegood,and @crinkle-eyed-boo because sharing is caring . . . .

Live a Thousand Lifetimes (57K)

It’s 2025.

After secretly writing and producing their first album in ten years, One Direction is weeks away from releasing their first new single and announcing a world tour.

With the whirlwind about to begin again, Liam re-evaluates the last ten years - the fame, the money, the people who changed his life forever - and the person who walked away.

I don’t even know where to begin talking about this fic. It started out as something that wasn’t supposed to be more than 4-5K words, and somewhere along the way this is where I ended up. I anguished over each sentence, researched way more than I probably needed to, and cried buckets of tears when I finished. This was also the story that reminded me that I am still a writer, even if the stories only matter to me.

Let Me Be Your Everlasting Light (12K)

Harry Styles and his partner Louis Tomlinson have been dating for four years. Over those years, he has always known that Louis' biggest dream has been to see the Northern Lights in person. Harry arranges a trip to Norway as a gift for Louis, but little does Louis know Harry is also hoping to make his own dream come true, too.

While I much prefer to write Ziam, there are a few rare occasions where a Larry fic makes it’s way out of my brain. This story was intended for @kingsofeverything’s 28 Proposals fest in the winter of 2019. Unfortunately, between a hospital stay, a trip to England, and Live a Thousand Lifetimes demanding my undivided attention, I didn’t finish it in time. However, finish it I did, the following spring, and dedicated it to Lauren for her friendship and patience when dealing with my unreliable arse. This is another story that I did an absolute tonne of research for because I wanted the details to be as perfect as possible.

Untamed Hearts (68K)

It could have been the heat of the summer sun; it might have been the silvered sheen of an early harvest moon. If he dug deep enough, Liam could find every reason ever needed to explain away what happened. In the end, though, it all came down to two meddling friends, a touch of Prince, a bit of Keats, and the moon over the ocean. Its a recipe for disaster. Or love. Probably love.

I started writing Untamed Hearts in late 2013, after two of my fandom writing friends challenged me to do it. They both left the fandom not too long after, but whenever I see the posts for this story, I remember them and all the fun we had together. They encouraged me to try my hand at writing in this fandom, and if I were to dedicate Untamed Hearts to anyone, it would be them. Thank you Sam and Jesse, for always believing in me.

For Evermore (17K)

A Beauty and the Beast AU in which Liam is the Beast, trapped in a world suspended in time, and Zayn is the only one willing to look past the facade of enchantment to find the humanity of the man hidden within.

Beauty and The Beast is my favorite fairytale and my favorite Disney movie. When the mods for Disney Direction were looking for pinch hitters, and this story was still available, I jumped at the chance. Being able to recreate it with my OTP was was like a dream come true, and having it received well by those who have read it has been amazing.

Shadow Dancing (169K+)

As a small child, Liam Payne dreamed of being a firefighter. He took up boxing to defend himself from school bullies, but never lost sight of his dream. 15 years later, Liam is set to be the youngest brigade watch commander in his district, and his recent boxing win puts him in line for the British national title - if he can learn to get out of his own way.

Zayn took his first dance lesson at 5, after watching his sister's tap class. At 18, when an injury derails Zayn's dream of dancing professionally, he sets it aside to attend university, but the lure of dancing proves too great to ignore. He becomes an instructor, and eventually, the owner of a small dance studio, where he encourages other dancers to chase their dreams.

When their worlds collide in a cacophony of misunderstandings, Zayn, confronted with his own biases, realizes there’s more to Liam than meets the eye, and offers to help him prepare for his upcoming fight.

While Liam learns to dance, Zayn learns the art of compromise, and along the way, they find each other.

And when tragedy strikes, Liam finds that Zayn’s love will help him face the shadows of his past, and give him the courage to believe in himself and his dreams for the future.

Shhhhhh! Yes, I know it’s not done. Yes, I know it’s been a while since I updated. It doesn’t make me any less proud of this story - what is already posted, and where it is going. Once again, a story I have done a literal shit tonne of research for - there are over 100 links in my research folder. And while yes, they do fall in love, this story is more a journey of self-acceptance, and as I have explored the dynamics in my characters’ lives, I’ve also done a good deal of introspection on the ones in my life, as well.

#5 fics tag meme #self rec #fic rec #Live a Thousand Lifetimes #Let Me Be Your Everlasting Light #For Evermore #Untamed Hearts #Shadow Dancing

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alltheselights · 2 years

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heyy :) i don't know if you already said something about this or don't even want to in which case you can just ignore this but i still feel so deeply disturbed by harry's cocaine references in the new album and the way he also references them ("im singing this in front of my mom haha awkward" or doing the motions etc or the way most people are finding it funny or defending him especially on twitter like it's normal for him to do because he's "nearly 30" or yknow "a popstar"). it's just. there were always times where you don't necessarily agree with someone you're a fan of but it's been never something for me that i truly can't accept and i hate that. i am grown up, i know how the world works and yeah, some people do cocaine (especially if you're rich and famous and in that industry) but I'd rather stay naive, also because it's not some celebrity you hear this of but because it's someone you liked and cared about for over ten years. i see something of him now and my mind goes there because i find it so unsettling. and it's not even the fact that he has those references in his songs, i honestly wouldn't mind that much then, it's the way they are referenced and talked about as if it's something so causal and cool. it's glorifying and it's fucked up. i never would have expected that from him. and i still feel like i overreact but it's a fucking hard drug and people who are actually addicted need help and guidance and not some jokes and cool references.

I think you’re valid for your feelings about that and you’re not alone in them because I’ve seen others talk about being upset by it, especially those who have dealt with addiction themselves or in people close to them.

I do think Harry romanticizes drug use in his songs and it’s been there since HS1, but it’s just gotten progressively worse with each album. With HS1, there was just a vague reference in Kiwi, with HS2, there was a lot of casual drug talk during promo, and then with this album, there are multiple casual references to cocaine like it’s a sexy, everyday part of life for him. Some of us (myself included) are not surprised by this if you’ve paid very close attention to Harry for a long time, but he presented a clean cut image on the drug topic for a long time. I think One Direction and Harry’s team fed this as well with those articles about Harry disapproving of Zayn and Louis smoking weed, which is ironic since weed is a lower level of drug than cocaine or even shrooms.

Now that he’s decided to embrace an image as a drug user, I think Harry’s privilege probably blinds him to how much he’s romanticizing a subject that really shouldn’t be. I also think he believes that his drug use makes him look and sound cool, which is why he throws in these references and does the motions on stage and has made his drug use a major headline during album promo. I think that’s part of his privilege too because he likely uses these drugs casually and isn’t suffering from addiction, but when you’re putting that message out to the world, there are people hearing it who do suffer from addiction or who might if they ever tried these drugs.

Obviously, other peoples’ choices in life and their addiction issues are not Harry’s fault, but he does have a young audience and could be more responsible on this subject when he knows what a massive influence he has. I think that’s a reasonable criticism and I don’t disagree with your feelings.

#asks #cocaine tw #drug abuse tw #drug tw #addiction tw

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mythandmagicmuses · 2 years

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Raphael Santiago

Name: Raphael Santiago Species: Vampire Age, Actual: 85 Age, Appears: Late teens, perhaps 19 Title: Leader of the New York Vampires Canon: Shadowhunters (TV not books) Sexuality: Asexual, biromantic FC: David Castro

Backstory: (Trigger warning for child death, death in general, suicide attempt mention) Born in Mexico in 1937, Raphael left at the age of ten with his mother and siblings moving to New York . As the eldest child of a single mother, Raphael strived to be the man of the house protecting and raising his siblings. A natural leader, he often mixed with older children and when needed to was the one to take charge and speak up. His dry sense of humour and low tolerance for suffering fools didn't always make him popular but Raphael cared little. Slow to open up but quick to offer his opinions on all that was wrong, few saw the sweeter side to Raphael outside of his family. The boy who doted on the children, who loved to cook and provide for his loved ones and who adored his mother.

Raphael largely had an image of a good church going boy. A boy the Mexican mothers all agreed would be a suitable match for their daughters. He was also one of the only boys, it seemed to him, who was not obsessed with chasing skirt. And then the murders began. Young children disappearing and later found dead on the street. But it was only the poor and immigrant children so nobody seemed to care. Rumours swirled about drained blood and fang marks, a vampire was preying on the children. When the men gathered to defend the children and hunt down the murder, be they man or supernatural, Raphael was the youngest of them. No one of the group returned. As it turned out, the murderer was indeed a vampire and he had killed many of the men and turned Raphael into a monster like him. Raphael's first action as a vampire was to murder his maker. This feat showed a level of mental and physical control and strength that few newborn vampires are able to show. Most were wild and driven only to feed but Raphael overrode all of that to exact revenge on his murderer. And then the frenzied feeding began. The men who were not slaughtered by Louis, where fed on by Raphael. After this he tried to kill himself from loathing and shame by hurling himself into the sunlight. He was only stopped by the warlock Magnus Bane, sent by Raphel's mother to find him. Bane took Raphael in, teaching him how to live and survive in his new life. How to not despise who and what he was now. Now, Raphael is leader of the vampires of New York. He has seen his siblings grow older from the shadows whilst committing himself to the protection and future well being of his people. Raphael is the first to admit that Magnus saved his life and is the only father figure he has ever had. Just as in his human life, he is incredibly protective of his people and will always prioritise their safety over all others. To him 'his people' are his vampires and those he holds dearest. Supernatural skills: Encanto- a kind of hypnosis. Heightened senses, increased speed and strength. Vampire fangs secrete a substances that induces relaxation and sometimes euphoric feelings. It is used to make a drug called yin fen and is a reason why some humans voluntarily 'donate' blood to get a high. Open for: Generally any kind of plot except smut because he is ace. I strongly dislike Raphael/Izzy but any other ship I'm very open to explore with almost any muse. I confess I love saphael but I do multi ship all my characters. He's naturally a supernatural muse but can be adapted for almost any au, so please feel free to send me an ask.

edit note: I have been informed in the books he is aromantic, I didn't know that and I am playing the TV version who has been show to be interested in potential romance whilst also being asexual. I'm not erasing his book identity, I'm just playing the TV version.

#Raphael #muse #multi muse rp #indie rp #muse profile #tw child death #tw murder #tw suicide attempt

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joachimnapoleon · 3 years

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Doomed to Be Our Bane - Excerpt [Napoleon's POV]

(NaNoWriMo 2021 - Day 25)

(Picking up right where we left off with the previous excerpt--Napoleon is about to employ his tried-and-true vexation and sentiment strategy with Murat.)

***

"Everything is well underway, Sire."

"I am pleased to hear it." But no, it was too soon for the conversation to take too positive of a turn. First, the vexation; then the sentiment. He began to steer it accordingly.

"I trust that there was no trouble over Caroline's regency?"

"No, Sire."

"Good. I'm certain she will do well. She will act in accordance with my will--my Code, my Continental System, and so forth. I do not imagine she will seek to defy me as you have for much of the past three years."

Murat paled, clearly caught off guard. "Your Majesty, I--"

"I still don't know what got into your head last year, with that nonsensical naturalization decree. I've been trying to fathom your reasoning on that one for the past ten months, and still haven't been able to manage it. It seemed almost as if you were trying to... I don't know, get your French soldiers to swear their loyalty to you personally, instead of to me and to the Empire. But I cannot resign myself to believing you would embark on such a flagrantly disloyal course."

"It was never my intention to give Your Majesty cause to question my loyalty," Murat bristled.

"Which only proves that, as usual, you entered into a rash undertaking without bothering to think through its potential consequences. I had thought that what happened to Louis in 1810 might cause you to become a little more circumspect going forward, but apparently I was giving you too much credit. Nevertheless, it is a skill you should consider attempting to cultivate, or your reign will continue to be plagued with many unnecessary difficulties."

By now the diatribe was having the effect Napoleon intended. Murat was visibly flustered and, Napoleon knew from past experience, on the brink of tears.

"I had hoped," Murat said, his voice growing thick, "that Your Majesty had not brought me here just to berate and degrade me once more."

"Don't be ridiculous," Napoleon snapped. "Of course that isn't why I recalled you to me, but you can't expect me to simply pretend that the events of last year never occurred, and that all is perfectly well between us."

Murat opened his mouth as if to respond, but promptly closed it without saying anything. He blinked several times, and even from the distance between them Napoleon could see the growing wetness in his eyes. Just a bit further...

"You should be very grateful to your wife," the Emperor continued. "For the past several months, she has bent over backwards to defend you to me, even in spite of the fact that she arrived in Paris with her health utterly broken down as a result of your unfair treatment and unwarranted distrust of her. Without her efforts--and her devotion to you--you might well be off in exile with Louis by now."

Murat sank to his knees, covering his face with his hands.

There it is.

He felt no satisfaction, only a blend of weariness and relief; the hard part, the vexation, was over.

And now, the sentiment.

He rose and walked towards Murat. Reaching down, he took his brother-in-law gently by the arm, and pulled him to his feet. He handed Murat a spare handkerchief.

"Listen to me, Joachim," and his tone was much softer now. "Despite what you might think after all of the unhappiness between us for these past couple years, my affection for you remains unchanged. And Caroline tells me your attachment for me has not wavered either, and I believe it; the fact that my words can still have this strong of an effect on you is all the proof I need of your continued attachment. That being said, I know that in the coming campaign you will provide me with plenty of new proofs, and give me even more reasons to love you."

Murat sniffled, hastily wiping away another tear that had begun coursing down his cheek.

"I will not disappoint you, Sire. Or give you any further reason to doubt my attachment--either to Your Majesty, or to France."

"I know you won't. Now, go get some rest. We'll speak again tomorrow, to discuss your cavalry, and my expectations for it."

Murat nodded. "Yes, Sire. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Joachim."

Murat bowed--a bit shakily, this time--and took his leave.

Napoleon watched him go. He sat back down with a long sigh. He looked up when he noticed Duroc watching him sympathetically.

"Oh, Duroc," Napoleon said. "If only he'd just learn how to behave himself. You have no idea how much I despise having to talk to him like that."

"I know, Sire."

"He probably thinks I enjoy it."

"I... don't believe so, Sire. At least, I've told him otherwise."

"You have?"

"Last year, after one of your quarrels with him. He was very distraught afterwards, and I just... wanted to reassure him."

Napoleon smiled. He knew it wasn't the only time Duroc had ever hurried to give comforting words to someone Napoleon had just upset.

"Carry on, Duroc," he said approvingly. "We make an excellent team."

"I quite agree, Sire."

#NaNoWriMo 2021 #excerpt #writing

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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I don’t get you, CJ. Why are you so quick to throw around the term “bad writing” when you don’t agree with something? Why not simply chalk it up to having different likes or dislikes than other people and move on?

Instead of deconstructing characters you don’t like, why not use your platform to empower other voices and highlight others with different tastes or opinions than you? Different people notice different things about the games. That’s one of the nice things about fandom.

You clearly love writing and analysis, but when you post answers to asks that hold different opinions than you’re own, you often go “you’re valid, but…” and launch into paragraphs upon paragraphs of your opposite opinion rather than truly exploring theirs.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I think your blog and analyses would be stronger if rather than dismissing plot points or characters as “bad writing” you step outside yourself and ask others what they see in that writing since it’s not connecting with you.

To be fair, anon, I don't get me either.

But I hear you, so if you'll allow me to do the thing where I launch into paragraphs upon paragraphs, let's talk about this.

I assume this might've come about because of the recent Violet talk here? Or maybe it's from older posts, I dunno, you didn't specify so I can only speculate and use the Violet posts as the main example here.

So here's the thing... deconstructing characters and storylines is something I enjoy doing. Hell, it's one of my favorite things to do. It doesn't matter if I like or dislike the character, or if I agree with plot directions, or if I think it's "good" or "bad" writing. That's how I work things out for myself, how I try to understand why I'm feeling the way I am about certain characters and story elements. I break apart the different aspects of these things and analyze them so that I can improve the content I create and try to avoid the same mistakes I've come across that I wanted to be better.

When it comes to me tossing around "bad writing", or just implying it, I'm not trying to say that "bad writing = trash, garbage, unenjoyable, anyone who likes this is a dingus, how could you?" it's more "I see flaws here and I want it to be better, I know it can be better and it frustrates me that I can't fix it," y'know?

And I'm fully aware that other people might not see it that way. With that basketball Violet post, I know that a lot of the Violet crowd are gonna read that and be like "no, I love the bell tower scene! It fits well with her character! What are you talking about?" and that's fine, I expect that. That post was me writing something that's been on my mind that I wanted to share, it wasn't me trying to scold anyone for liking it or trying to dismiss their feelings about it.

When it comes to differing opinions, especially on Violet, I've come to the conclusion that we just gotta agree to disagree. I've tried for years at this point to understand the appeal of Violet and gone looking for answers about her in hopes of being enlightened, and I have asked around.

In the past, I have made posts inquiring about what people see in Violet [Minerva, too] and why they prefer Violentine, and I got little to nothing in response. So I totally get where you're coming from when you say I should ask others what they see in the writing that I don't, but there's only so much I can do when no one is willing to answer me. So, I have to look around myself.

I've searched through several threads on reddit and none of them have been insightful, unsurprisingly.

That's what sparked my mini-rant about Louis before. On reddit, a lot of the answers on why people like Violet are either "she sided with Clementine, she's just really sweet deep down, she has more trauma, and lesbian," or "I like Violet more because Louis is a traitor," and what the hell am I supposed to get out of that, y'know? They're not really telling me anything, they're just looking to argue among themselves and I've had to throw in the towel on that one.

I've had better luck here, having read some truly insightful posts about Violet, her arc, and her relationship with Clementine. The conclusion I've reached it that the things people find appealing about her are things that I don't.

If you need an example, we'll use the aftermath of Marlon's murder when Violet turns on the group to defend AJ. Every post from the Violet crowd I've read that talks about that scene praises her for turning against her friends/family to defend AJ when they were gonna attack him, it shows what she's willing to do for them, that's something that drew them to her. Then there's me, who sees that as adding unnecessary aggression to the situation when none of them were going to attack AJ, they weren't looking at AJ, and none of this is helping. Neither of these interpretations are wrong.

Guess what I'm trying to get at is I'm one person, and having discussions takes more than one willing person.

Moving on, "when you post answers to asks that hold different opinions than you’re own, you often go “you’re valid, but…” and launch into paragraphs upon paragraphs of your opposite opinion rather than truly exploring theirs."

I've thought about this for a while, and maybe I do actually do this but don't realize it. I like to think that I'm engaging with the ideas that people send me, but I dunno, maybe I can be dismissive of things because I have a hard time being objective. That's something I've always struggled with, and I'm sorry if I ever came across as dismissive or didn't fully explore ideas, that's something I can definitely get better at.

As for "why not use your platform to empower other voices and highlight others with different tastes or opinions than you? Different people notice different things about the games. That’s one of the nice things about fandom."

I've done character nights, ship nights, season nights, etc. for about two years, give or take. That's what those nights were about. Usually, I'd put up a poll and we'd all vote on what we wanted to discuss, and then the floor was open for anyone to give their input, and we'd discuss.

I stopped doing them a little while ago because I was burnt out on themed nights. Remembering to make new polls, setting aside part of my weekends to spend hours answering asks the best I could, usually dealing with other projects on top of it all.... it may not seem like it, but god, those nights took a lot out of me. I loved doing it! Having those discussions were some of the best parts of running this blog, but now my new job has me working 40+ hours a week, four days with ten hour shifts and occasionally some overtime on the weekends, I just don't have it in me anymore to do it every single weekend. Not with how tired I am and with all the other projects I'm working on.

That's why I've started testing the waters with these shorter posts of me throwing out ideas or going on mini-rants. They're something simple I can do with no pressure, just me with an empty document getting whatever's on my mind out... and it helps that it feels like my last fuck has just flown away to the heavens to weave itself into the boat god's beard like as he sails among the clouds and stars..... so now I'm gonna talk about whatever I want and the fact that it's my opinion is implied.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a little defensive with this part, I tend to get that way whenever people tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my blog, even if they're just trying to be helpful and I don't believe you have any ill intent with your message. I've had this blog for three years now, and I've always had people telling me I shouldn't do character analyses, I should stay in my lane, just write fanfics and do character nights. I should answer more asks otherwise people will think I don't care. I shouldn't write headcanon posts, that's what other blogs do and I'll be taking content away from them. I shouldn't write that one au I've always wanted to because I should be working on [with you]. I shouldn't write anything but [with you.] I shouldn't talk about Violet because I'm a Louis blog.

And that's dumb. All of that is dumb! No one owns the concept of headcanon posts or character analyses! Just like how I don't own the concept of character nights!

Again, my last fuck is lost in Kenny's beard, I don't have it anymore. I'm going to write and analyze whatever I want, when I want, and the best I can do is promise to be better. My inbox is open, I'll try to answer and engage with you guys when I can, I'll keep doing these posts where I ramble about whatever topic is on my mind, and I shouldn't have to put a disclaimer of "This is all my opinion and it's okay if you disagree, I'm not trying to invalidate you" because that's implied.

Before I close out this long response, I do wanna add a thank you for the ask, I do appreciate the constructive criticism. Usually anons that have any problem with me after I talk about Violet will just call me a piece of shit and tell me to delete my blog. Maybe this helped you, maybe it didn't, either way thanks :)

#asks #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet

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houseof-harry · 4 years

Text

Love You Too | G.D.

Part 4 of Hate You Too!

A/N - Surprise!!!!! I know I haven’t been active at all, and I’m sorry for that but here’s the final part of hyt!!!!! She’s here, she’s ready (if you missed pt 3 click here), and I hope you enjoy! Lmk thoughts!

Word Count - 10k (jinkers)

Warnings - a good ole pull at the heart strings, that’s it!

You couldn’t remember the last time you were this nervous. Sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach kind of nervous. You did your best to relax your face and smile in the mirror while you put the finishing touches of your makeup on, but it didn’t take long for the crease between your eyebrows to return with a matching pout.

“You gotta chill out, girl,” Kacey reminds you from her spot on your bed, where she sits watching you get ready.

“I know,” you sigh.

You lean back in your chair to examine your final look. If you were being honest, you actually looked really good. You kept your hair down, your face framed by the pieces closest to your hairline. Your makeup looked pretty as well, and you’re shocked you were able to steady your hand enough to not get your mascara on your eyelids, but you somehow pulled it off. You were even a fan of your outfit. The white flare jeans accentuated your body, the sheer pink long sleeve shirt on your top popping more from your glowing skin.

You stood and turned to Kacey, raising your brow and holding your hands out as if you were presenting yourself. “How do I look?”

She looks up from her phone, her mouth falling open as she finally sees the completed look.

“Y/N…”

You watch her eyes go from your face all the way down, slowly coming back up to meet your gaze again. You give her a sheepish smile.

“I’m sad I’m not the one going on a date with you.”

You laugh, shaking your head as you loosen up a bit. “Yeah, whatever.”

“No, I’m serious,” she defends herself, standing up to follow you out of your room and into the living room once you grab your shoes. “You literally look stunning. He’s gonna cum on sight.”

Your jaw drops as a breathy chuckle leaves your body. You turn to face her, walking backwards until you’re almost up against the front door. “He better not, I’m fucking hungry.”

Before Kacey can respond, your phone is buzzing. You both give each other a look, before you lift it to see a text from Grayson waiting for you.

here

You swallow thickly, turning your phone off and putting the shoes down beside your feet. “It’s go time.”

Kacey nods, kneeling down to help secure your heels on your feet. “You’re gonna have a great time. It’s Grayson Dolan bringing you to eat yummy ass food. There’s literally nothing that could go wrong, not with everything you’ve already been through together. You guys both deserve this, it’s gonna be a night to remember. This might even be classified as the best first date in history.” She stands when she finishes her pep talk, brushing her thighs off before clapping her hands with a wide smile. “Ready?”

“No,” you whine, getting your bag and double checking you have everything. “My heart won’t fucking calm down.”

She grabs your arms so that you’re forced to look at her. “You have everything you need. There’s nothing else you have to do right now besides walk out that door and enjoy a fabulous evening with your mans. Three deep breaths,” she prompts, and you follow her lead. She takes in three big deep breaths, and you let the air fill up your lungs as you watch her chest rise. You release each breath along with her, some of the tension finally leaving your body. It helps a bit, and you can feel the blood stop pumping through your ears so loudly.

You give her a small smile. “You’re right. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

She nods. “E and I are gonna have a beach day, I’ll text you when we head out for you guys to join if you want.”

You bite your lip, the thought of you and Grayson going to hang out with them stirring up even more nerves inside of you. Hell, this was the first time you guys would be out in public together. Alone. On an actual date, as two people who like each other. Doing normal couple things with other couples? Would he want that?

“Oh my god, shut your brain off for, like, three seconds and just fucking go down there before he thinks you’re not going at all.” She reaches around you, opening the door while giving you a gentle shove so that you’re out in the hallway.

You pout, slowly starting to walk away. “Am I gonna be okay?”

“You’re gonna be way more than okay,” she reassures before waving and stepping back into the apartment.

You sigh, realizing she’s right. You’d survive the night no matter what it brought. You always survived.

When you walked outside, your eyes immediately found the bright blue porsche. He was standing by the hood, arms crossed over his chest as his neck strained back to look up at the sky. You could see his adams apple bob when he swallowed.

His arms were bulging out of the tight black t shirt on his upper body, his silver chain hanging against his defined chest. A Louis Vuitton belt hugged his hips, holding the green pants to his lower half. They were cropped, allowing for you to see the tattoos that littered his ankle and lower calf, his air force ones kicking the pavement below his feet.

He snaps out of his daze when he hears you walking towards him, and when he finally lands his eyes on you it feels like his breath has been snatched away from him. He takes in every inch of you, trying to memorize everything he’s seeing just in case you disappear.

“Hey,” you practically whisper, lifting a hand to wave at him as you get a bit closer.

The sound of your voice pulls his gaze back to your face, and he finally can get a quick breath in as his huge smile spreads across his face. “Hey.”

He relaxes a bit in your presence, his arms first falling to his sides as you stand in front of him now, one hand gripping the handle of your bag while the other clenches and releases in a fist as you try and keep it together.

“Hey,” he says again, this time a bit louder and more present. He stands up straight, his hands now reaching out to hold your elbows. “Hey.”

You giggle, taking a step closer so that there’s only about an inch of space between your bodies. You tilt your head to look up at him, and his bright smile is quickly able to make your own lips turn up wider.

“That all you’ve gotta say to me?”

He just continues to smile at you, shaking his head a bit as he pulls you against his chest. You easily give in, wrapping your arms around his middle and letting his warmth envelope you despite the already relatively high temperature. You didn’t mind, though.

“Until I can form a fucking sentence to tell you how amazing you look, yeah.”

You giggle against his chest as your cheeks blush from the compliment. You go to release him, but he keeps you tight in his grasp without any room for you to move.

“Gray,” you mumble, grabbing his sides to try and get him to move away from you.

“Just a few more seconds.”

You sigh dramatically, but the butterflies go crazy in your stomach at the thought of him not wanting to let go so soon. It made you wonder if he thought about being close to you when you weren’t together as much as you did.

After a few more moments you feel his grip loosen on you, one of his hands coming to grab your own so he can guide you to the passenger side of the car.

“So are you gonna finally tell me where we’re going?”

He opens the door for you, guiding you around so you can start to get in. The smile on his face widens at your question.

“Nope.”

You roll your eyes, settling into the seat as you buckle. He closes the door and quickly makes his way to the driver’s side. He slides in rather smoothly for such a big guy getting into a small car.

“Are you at least going to tell me what type of food it is? Or if I’m underdressed?”

He chuckles, shaking his head as he starts the car. “It’s good food, and you’re dressed just fine. Perfectly, even. Stunning. Really fucking pretty if I’m being honest.”

“Oh god,” you huff, resting your chin in your hand while your elbow finds leverage on the center console as Grayson starts driving. You do your best to keep your smile at bay, but you can’t completely wipe it from your face.

“What?” He asks, looking over at you for a second before he puts his eyes back on the road.

“You’re gonna being cheesy as fuck tonight, aren’t you?”

A pout forms on his lips as he reaches his arm out to grab your knee. His fingers press into the material of your pants as he rubs his thumb side to side. You can’t help but look down at his movements, the warmth of his palm spreading through you like wildfire.

“Course I’m gonna be cheesy tonight. It’s the first time I get to take you out. Plus, no matter how much of an act you put on, I know you love it too.”

You take in a big breath as your cheeks flush again, your eyes still stuck on his fingers. You know he’s right, and you don’t feel like fighting it, either. You deserved a night together just to enjoy being with one another.

You only look up again when you hear Grayson groan in frustration. You’re met with a bunch of brake lights and soon you feel the car come to a complete stop in the middle of the highway.

“Fuck,” he mumbles as he grips your leg a bit harder.

“Let me check how bad it is,” you offer as you pick your phone up from your lap. You open up maps only to find a red line stretching for miles on the current stretch of highway you and Grayson were stuck on. “How far are we going on here?”

“I don’t know. Ten miles?”

You nod, biting your lip. The red line definitely stretches beyond the ten miles you need to go.

“How far does it say it’ll be?”

“I can’t be sure, but it looks like it’s pretty backed up for a while.”

“Like past ten miles?”

You nod, reaching over to show him your phone. He looks at the map and his face falls when he sees how bad it is.

“Fucking LA man. Shit.”

You turn your phone off, putting it back in your lap as you sigh. “It’s okay, we’ve still got, like forty minutes until our-”

Before you can finish your sentence, your back is being pressed into the leather seat as Grayson floors it off the exit ramp.

“Grayson!” You grip his wrist, his hand still holding on tight to you as he maneuvers off the highway.

“We’re taking back roads.”

“Do you even know where we are?”

“I’ve lived in LA since I was fucking 15, Y/N. I learned to drive here. I know where the fuck I am and where to go.”

You nod, not letting going of his wrist as you watch him continue to drive through the streets now. He was tense, you could tell. His shoulders were raised, his jaw tight and you swear could see the vein on the side of his neck pulse every few seconds.

You decide to turn the volume of his music up after you resituate in the seat, more comfortable with the speed he’s driving even if he’s still a bit reactive. You force your fingers in between your thigh and his palm so that you can hold his hand. He responds quickly, his hand gripping yours tightly. You can feel the clamminess of his palm against yours, and you give him a reassuring squeeze.

The corners of his lips turn up at the feeling, and you watch his body physically relax a bit. He takes a breath in, leaning back as he gets more comfortable again.

Watching the world pass by you while you and Grayson sit in your own little bubble, music playing as you enjoy each other’s presence without any worries is a feeling you could get used to. You feel so calm, like you couldn’t want or need to be anywhere else other than in his passenger seat as he drives along, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand whenever you guys were at a stop light. You somehow simultaneously also feel electricity from where you’re touching, that feeling of new romance taking over what seems like the whole car. You hope he felt it too, the butterflies, because this was a feeling you never wanted to give up.

That doesn’t stop the anxiety that slowly creeps up inside of you the longer Grayson drives around. You’ve been in the car for an hour and a half, and as far as you could tell there were no nice restaurants in sight; hell, there were no restaurants at all.

“Gray?”

He grunts, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Are we close?”

At this point you could hear your stomach growling, even over the music. You didn’t care if you sounded like a kid, you would even settle for water. You just needed something in your stomach.

He bites his lips, taking in your surroundings as he continues to coast along the road. After about a minute of watching him do that, you break.

“You have no fucking clue where we are right now.”

“Yes I do.”

“Then how much longer?”

He taps his fingers against the wheel as he reads the road sign, finally letting out a defeated sigh.

“Yeah I have no idea where we are.”

You clench your jaw in temporary frustration, reminding yourself that it’s the hunger that wants to be mad, not you. “Can you tell me what the restaurant’s called so I can look up directions?”

He reluctantly gives you the name, pulling over on the side of the road to wait for your instruction.

You suck in a breath when you see how far you are from the restaurant.

“Two hours.”

“We’re two fucking hours away?” You can hear the genuine frustration in his voice as he lets go of your hand to throw his arms up in anger before letting his face hide in his palms. He lets out a muffled, “shit,” while he shakes his head slowly.

Your hand feels cold without his to hold onto. Between that and watching him slowly devolve, you feel your heart sadden for the first time since he walked into the bathroom a few days ago. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, his face still in his hands.

“Hey.” You reach over to rub his back. “It’s okay. We can just go somewhere else.”

He groans as he finally lifts his head to look at you, his shoulders still slumped forwards. “No we can’t. It was supposed to be special, that restaurant is special. You deserve something special.”

Hearing the thought and effort he wanted to put into tonight for you made your heart swell. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips despite his somber face.

“What?” He asks.

You shake your head, bringing your hand to his cheek so you can stroke the soft skin there. “You’re just really sweet.” His frown turns more neutral at that, but you can still see the disappointed clouding his eyes. “Plus, anything we do together is special. You could take me to a fucking dump and it would be special.”

This gets a small chuckle out of him, which prompts you to relax a bit. You were glad you could still get some type of positive reaction from him.

“Thought you didn’t want cheesy tonight.”

“Shut up,” you giggle, pushing his shoulder lightly.

His next movements are quick, and you have little time to react. He leans over and grabs your chin, pulling you closer to his face as his lips meet yours. The kiss is slow, and to your benefit, so that you can move your lips harmoniously with his as the hum of the engine and the melody of the music fade farther away as you get more and more into everything the kiss is making you feel.

All too soon, though, he’s pulling away, his face still staying close enough to yours that you feel his warm breath on your face as you slowly open your eyes. The frustration is gone from his gaze, replaced with something you’d never seen before. You weren’t sure what it was, but by the way he’s smiling you assume it’s a good thing.

“What was that for?” You whisper. You’re scared if you talk too loud that you’ll ruin the little universe Grayson has seemed to put you in.

He shakes his head bashfully as his thumb rubs against your jawline. “Just wanted a kiss.”

Your smile grows impossibly wider at the idea of you being able to kiss Grayson whenever you wanted. You didn’t just have to dream about it late at night, or act like you hated it every time. There didn’t have to be a reason why. And he’d want to do the same to you.

“Look up restaurants nearby.”

You hadn’t even noticed he had situated himself back into the driver's seat as you had zoned out. He still had a slight smirk on his lips while he got the car back on the road.

You lean back against your own seat, taking your phone out and searching on google for literally anything close to you guys that served food.

“There’s a place called BJ’s five minutes away. Looks a little sketch in terms of vegan food, though.”

He laughs, looking over at you. “Give me directions.”

He manages to pull up in front of the small building labeled BJ’s Diner not long after that. The ‘r’ on the sign is out, the outside looking a little run down. It looks like it was in its prime 50 years ago.

“Ready to eat at BJ’s?” He asks.

You laugh, unbuckling your seatbelt. “Guess so.”

As you both get out of the car, you let your short moment of silence be a little prayer that the night isn’t totally ruined.

And when you see Grayson waiting for you, hand held out to take yours in order to walk inside together, you think your prayer has been heard.

Your hope for the night drops the second you walk through the door, though. It smells like old wood and grease, the yellowed tiles are chipped at various points on the floor, the musicians pictured on the wall all died before the 80’s, and there’s a beaten jukebox in the corner. A part of you feels like you literally walked through a time machine, but the other can’t stop seeing how much everything has aged. The servers all seemed to be older as well, all having gray hair and wrinkles adorning their skin.

“You guys can pick any spot you want,” one of the cute old ladies interrupts your spiraling fears as Grayson turns to look at you with a raised brow.

You start walking to the booth in the corner farthest from the three other people sitting around the place in hopes of some type of privacy. They were all there alone, sitting at their respect tables without a word to anyone else. The only sounds ringing through the place are the music playing and the sounds of food being cooked in the back behind the little window you could see through behind the bar.

You’re not sure you’ve ever actually been to a diner that’s been so old, just ones that try and recreate the vintage vibes. But as the laminate of the booth cracks beneath you while you slide in, you conclude these booths have been sat in for longer than you’d been alive.

“I feel a bit overdressed,” you mumble as you pick up a menu.

Grayson chuckles as he takes a look at his own menu. “That’s okay. You said we were gonna have a special night no matter what. And this is, uh...” he looks up and around inspecting your surroundings again.

“Let’s just stick with special. Sounds nicer.”

He nods in agreement as he begins to search the menu. As you look over your own, you realize there’s much he can eat here. You’re not surprised with how old the place seems, but that doesn’t stop the slight frown that makes its way onto your lips.

“What?”

You hum, barely acknowledging his question as you continue to search for literally anything vegan on the menu besides french fries.

His fingers are soon blocking your view of the worn words on the menu as he pushes it down to see your face. Only then do you make eye contact with him. His brows are furrowed in confusion, which brings your own look of misunderstanding to your own face.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve got a pout on. There’s no pouting tonight. So what’s wrong?” His tone is light, almost as if he’s joking but you know he’s just trying to feel you out, understand what’s going on inside your head.

“There’s nothing vegan here,” you sigh as you pick the menu back up. “You can’t eat french fries for dinner.”

A warm smile spreads across Grayson’s face at your explanation as he watches you continue to look for something else he can have.

“Hey,” he interrupts you again, grabbing your menu and placing it alongside his at the end of the table. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll eat french fries for dinner if it means I still get to be out with you. It’ll make things more special.”

You giggle, nodding your head. “Special is definitely the word of the night.”

And that rang true the rest of your time in BJ’s. Between the busboy spilling water all over your pants making them semi see through, Grayson’s fries being cold (along with your burger), and being overcharged, it seemed like everything was going wrong.

But that didn’t stop you guys from laughing together the whole night. It almost made it impossible to believe you two were constantly at each other's throats for so long, never realizing that maybe your animosity had secretly come from the fear of falling for each other. You were grateful that fear was out in the open now, though, so that you could explore it together. Because now that you’ve had your taste of Grayson Dolan, you weren’t sure if you could ever give it up.

You guys made up for the shitshow of a dinner with your ride home. You blasted music, singing at the top of your lungs, not caring how bad you sounded. Your cheeks hurt from smiling all night, and you couldn’t help watching Grayson sing while he drove. He looked like he was glowing, you’d never seen him seem so genuinely happy and at peace.

When he finally pulled into a guest spot at your apartment he turned the music off while turning to look at you. You were both out of breath from the last song, and you could see a bit of sweat on his forehead from his intense singing.

“I never sing in front of people,” he admits.

“Me either.” You rest your elbow on the center console much like before, putting your chin in your hand as you smile at him.

“Think we could be a famous duet if we tried.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “I think people would pay to make us stop singing, actually.”

He laughs with you, letting go of the steering wheel as he turns to face you. You meet his eyes and find yourself trapped there in his gaze, both of you unable to look away from the other. There was just something so captivating about the way he would give you all his attention, his pupils almost completely blown out whenever they met yours. You could zone out looking into them for days, you’re sure.

“Gonna let me kiss you goodnight?” His soft voice carries through the car and pulls you from your thoughts.

You shrug. “I guess I should.”

He chuckles while leaning closer to you, his lips softly meeting yours. It’s sweet, much less intense than any other kiss you’ve shared and you think you can get used to the way his lips smoothly move against yours.

But before you let yourself fully indulge, his words actually hit you.

You pull back from him suddenly, and when you open your eyes you can see he’s a second behind you. When his finally open, he’s giving you a questioning look.

“You good?”

“Are you leaving?”

His brows only pull closer together at your question. “What?”

“You said a goodnight kiss. Are you not gonna come up?” You can feel the anxiety pooling in your stomach as you wonder if he doesn’t want to spend the night after being with you for so long.

“You never really struck me as someone who wants to fuck on a first date,” he chuckles, but soon stops when he notices you’re not so amused.

“Not with people I haven’t already fucked, no. I mean if you don’t want to that’s fine, I’ll just-” You grab your bag, opening the car door.

“Wait!”

You ignore his plea, stepping out of the car and shutting the door before you had a chance to look back at him.

“Y/N,” he calls out as he climbs out of his seat to follow you along the sidewalk. “Hey!”

His hand on your arm stops you, and you decide that you don’t have it in you to fight him. So you turn around while doing your best to keep your face neutral.

“I didn’t wanna push any boundaries you might have. I’m not gonna pressure you into having sex after a date just because we’ve fucked before. I’ve never felt anything for anyone like I do for you, and I don’t know what the rules are. I don’t wanna mess this up, even just tonight I’ve had such a good time and I-”

“So you weren’t sick of spending time with me?”

He looks almost offended by your question as soon as it leaves your lips. “What?”

You shrug. “I don’t know, we’ve never really spent that time with each other without fighting or fucking. I guess I thought you wanted a break or something.”

He shakes his head in disbelief. “No. I spent almost six months acting like I couldn’t be in the same room as you and I fucking beat myself up for that shit. I just assumed you wouldn’t wanna do that shit so soon.”

“And I just assumed you’d get annoyed with me after a while.”

“So then let’s stop assuming and get the fuck upstairs.”

You laugh at his sudden eagerness, relief starting to wash over you. You turn to start walking towards the entrance as you talk over your shoulder. “Gonna show me how special I really am?”

You hear the signature lock of the porsche followed by his loud footsteps as he does his best to catch up.

“Where’s Kacey?”

“Told her to spend the night at yours with Ethan.”

“Fuck.”

You giggle as you turn to walk backwards after opening the door, your hips swaying as you watch him take the entirety of you in.

“Special doesn’t even begin to do justice to what I’m about to do to you.”

You laugh as he charges towards you, squealing when he picks you up off the floor.

“Grayson! I can walk myself upstairs.” Your grip is tight on his shoulders as he keeps one hand under your thighs while the other presses the elevator button repeatedly.

“See how long that lasts.”

Your giggles fade as the implications of his words settle at the pit of your stomach. That’s when you knew he was really gonna make you feel special.

***

A month.

You and Grayson made it a month running around together, only seeing each other (and poor Ethan and Kacey). You were having the time of your life, honestly. You and Grayson got along really well now that you had your guards down more. You tried your best to appreciate that without the overwhelming guilt that took over when you reminded yourself of how you treated him before.

But things were getting complicated. When you hung out with your friends, they asked why you were suddenly so busy. You were able to pass it off as work at first, but after the first week they wondered what project could be so time consuming. It was getting much harder to lie.

You and Grayson also avoided going to any of the same things. You knew you wouldn’t be able to hold up the facade like before if you were in a room with him, and it would totally blow your cover.

That was getting difficult too, though. At this point you shared the same close friends, and you were both sad you were missing out on things.

So Grayson finally prompted you to come to something they were hosting at their house with your friends. It was a casual hang out with your typical dinner and night swim. Nothing intense, super normal.

That didn’t stop the nerves running through you as you walked into their backyard with Kacey, though.

“Everything’s gonna be fine,” she mumbles, giving your arm a squeeze before leading you to your group of friends. “Y/n!” Jas exclaims when she finally spots you. Kacey had quickly run off to Ethan, leaving you standing alone in the middle of the deck.

You give her a tight smile as you put your bag down, walking over to the edge of the pool she was hanging on to.

“Hey.”

She pouts, watching you get comfortable as you sit down beside her hands. “You okay?”

You nod, letting out the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding onto. “Yeah. Just work stress. You get it.”

She rolls her eyes, resting her head on her folded arms. “Sure. If work means boy, then I 100% get it.”

You scoff, shaking your head. “Why does everything have to be about boys all the time? Why can’t it be possible for an independent ass woman to have issues unrelated to men?”

“Oh it totally is,” she admits. “But I know your work stress. This is not work stress. You haven’t looked so troubled since you broke up with Ben.”

The bringing up of your last ex makes your face immediately scrunch up, like you have a bad taste in your mouth.

“Fuck that kid.”

“Now listen, you don’t have to tell me who’s causing you shit and taking up all your time. But you’re gonna have to break at some point if you keep him around. I mean, everyone’s getting boo’d up. Even Mila’s been shooting her shot,” she chuckles, her eyes going from your face to behind you.

You turn to see Mila standing next to a shirtless Grayson. He looks like he’s explaining the workout equipment to her. He’s clearly super into the conversation, and it’s even more clear Mila is into the way his face looks.

You’re not sure how you feel. You do your best to quell the immediate anger bubbling up inside of you because Mila has no idea you guys are together. But shouldn’t Gray be doing a better job at trying to stop her heart eyes?

“How long has that been a thing?” You ask as you keep your eyes on them.

“Only a few weeks. She was convinced Grayson was into you for literally, like,” she lifts her head to count on her fingers while she thinks. “Like three months or something. But the past few weeks you and him have just been radio silent so she’s taking her chance. Was that even a thing after Malibu or is he more of a hit it and quit it kinda guy?”

“I have to pee,” you mutter under your breath as you stand back up. You don’t even look back at Jas when she calls for you, keeping your eyes on the door. At this point Mila’s got her hand on Grayson’s bicep as he continues to ramble about who knows what, totally oblivious to her true intentions. Or, he’s into it and that’s why he hasn’t told her to stop.

Either way, you needed to get out. You knew being here would be hard, but you didn’t expect it to be like this. Maybe to have to throw some fake jabs, flip him off and figure out a way to stay after everyone left without people noticing, sure. But Mila trying to get with Grayson? That was not something you anticipated as one of your first hurdles.

Also the fact that this has been going on for weeks and Grayson’s said nothing? There’s no way he’s that stupid that he has no idea what she’s doing. Why wouldn’t he say anything?

Before you can reach the bathroom, you hear two voices behind you from the kitchen.

“Hey Y/N!” Mila’s now seemingly annoying voice rings through the house, causing you to turn around and face her and Grayson. He’s busying himself with getting some glasses of water as Mila motions for you to come closer. “I haven't seen you in, like, ten years!”

“Been busy.” You take a few hesitant steps closer to the pair. You watch Grayson’s eyes move to look at you a moment before he’s focused again on his task, totally silent.

“With what?” You can’t tell if it’s your anger that’s making everything about Mila almost unbearable, but her stupid smile isn’t sitting right with you.

“My boyfriend.”

Mila’s face turns from a smile to a look of confusion as Grayson pauses at the fridge.

“You have a boyfriend?”

“Mhm.” You nod, a bit more confident now. You make your way closer to the kitchen, closing the gap between the two of you. “Been busy fucking my new boyfriend.”

“I love that for you! What’s he like?”

At this point you’re not even looking at her. Grayson had turned around to watch the whole interaction happen with a raised brow. You watch him over her shoulder as you open your mouth to talk again.

“He’s tall, hot as shit, a bunch of tattoos, wears a chain, you know the type. A fucking dick when he wants to be but he’s nice to me most of the time,” you describe. By now Grayson’s smirking, his arms crossed as he realizes why you’re being the way you are: jealousy.

“That’s so good! You deserve it.” She pats your arm before turning to Grayson. He’s quick to go back to tending to the two cups he was grabbing before. “When do we get to meet him? Bet Grayson’s just dying to meet the guy who finally stole Y/N Y/L/N’s heart.” She sounds a bit bitter when she says it, but you can’t be bothered to care. She doesn’t know half of how Grayson feels about you.

He pauses again, slowly turning back to face the both of you. He looks between you and Mila, unsure of what to do.

You’d been the one who wanted to keep everything under wraps. It took you so long to finally admit how you felt about each other, and you wanted to appreciate the time you had alone before bringing everyone else into it. You loved your friends, but fuck were they all overly involved in everyone’s life.

“Bet he would.”

With that you leave, going back outside. Maybe a swim in the pool would help you cool off a bit.

The rest of the night goes relatively smoothly, everyone just enjoying each other seeing as it had been difficult to get everyone in the same place lately.

But holy shit were you ready to drop kick Mila.

She couldn’t be away from Grayson for more than five minutes. Of course your plan had been to not really talk to him to avoid any suspicion so it wasn’t like she was taking time away from you or anything, but she wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Has it been this bad for a while?” you whisper to Kacey. You were all sat in a circle, just talking after eating. Everyone was kind of having separate conversations meaning you would finally be able to get some fucking answers, even if it wasn’t from Grayson.

“She’s actually being pretty good tonight. When she’s drunk she literally is on top of the poor guy.”

You can’t help but look over at them now. She sat closely to him (she didn’t have much of a choice due to the fact that she weasled her way between him and Jas), just staring and listening as he spoke to Austin. He was leaning away from her, but every time he moved, she moved with him.

You could feel your anger bubbling up again, but you looked back at Kacey to calm yourself down a bit.

“Why didn’t anyone fucking tell me?” You do your best to keep your volume down. Ethan was on the other side of Kacey, so you didn't care if he heard but you had no interest in anyone else knowing what you guys were talking about. You weren’t the jealous type typically, but when you’re powerless it somehow has made the whole situation escalate quickly.

“I mean he’s so obviously not into it, we didn’t think it mattered?”

You scoff. “You and Gray have talked about it?”

The name of his brother makes Ethan turn his head as he tunes into the conversation.

“What?”

You cross your arms as you lean back in your chair, looking straight ahead now. You couldn’t look to your right because you didn't want to watch Mila drool over Grayson, but looking at Kacey would make you mad too.

“She’s mad we didn't tell her about the whole-” she looks around to see if anyone else is listening, lowering her voice significantly before she speaks again. “Mila thing.”

“Why?”

You raise your brow at him. “You fucking knew too?”

“Y/N, literally everyone knows.”

“Not me!”

At this point you’ve caught almost everyone's attention. You and Kacey never fought, especially not in front of everyone. You were two peas in a pod. And not to say this was a fight, you were literally the only one who wasn’t speaking at a whisper. But you couldn’t help but feel betrayed by the both of them for not telling you. The three of them had decided what was best without even considering if you’d want a say.

You look around the table at all the eyes on you and bite your lip, sinking back into your chair and closing your cardigan on your body tighter.

“So tell us more about this boyfriend, Y/N,” Mila prompts as she laughs awkwardly to try and break the tension. Little did she know her bumping her shoulder against Grayson was only causing more tension.

Kacey gives you an eye, confused as to what Mila was talking about. She fit in with everyone else, though, because they all seemed a bit lost, too.

“A boy?” Jas asks, a smirk on her face.

“It’s not important,” you mutter. When you look at Grayson, you see a bit of hurt in his eyes.

“Why not?” Mila pushes.

“Come on Kace, you definitely know him. Is he hot?”

Kacey sputters, not really sure what to say.

“Oh my god he’s ugly!”

“That’s why you won’t tell us, you don’t want to have to show us pictures!”

“You’re, like, a totally ten Y/N. Definitely don’t need to be with an ugly dude.”

“He’s not fucking ugly!” You sit up, the frustration clear in your voice.

“So then why did Kacey-”

“She can’t call her boyfriend’s brother hot.”

Complete silence takes over the entire group as they look at you, and then Grayson. His eyes are a bit wide and totally locked on you.

You stand abruptly, the sound of the chair scraping against the concrete the only noise that echoes through the backyard. Mila’s stare is burning through you, but you don’t look anywhere but the door as you make your way towards it.

“What the fuck, guys?” Grayson asks as he stands up.

“Are you really her fucking boyfriend?” Mila scoffs, looking up at him.

“Holy shit, yes.”

He leaves as everyone watches him follow you. He doesn’t care that Ethan and Kacey are going to have to deal with the aftermath of that, he just needed to know if you were okay.

He goes through the house, going to his closed bathroom door and knocking.

“Holy shit, can I be left alone for three fucking seconds? What if I actually need to pee or-”

“It’s me.”

You pause as you feel the anxiety fall from your body quickly. You rush to open the door, the tears in your eyes threatening to fall.

“I’m so sorry.”

He gives you a confused look as he enters the bathroom, moving you back so that he has room to shut the door behind him. “Sorry?”

You nod. “I know we weren’t gonna tell people but then I saw Mila all over you and when I found out that’s been happening a while I don’t know what took over and then when everyone was trying to force Kacey to talk I didn’t know what to do so I just fucking told them even though we weren’t gonna tell them and we didn’t talk about that and we didn’t even ever talk about if I’m your girlfriend and you’re my boyfriend but now I said to everyone that you’re my boyfriend and I just-” You take in a big breath as you rub your eyes.

“Hey,” he mumbles, rubbing your arms. You let your hands fall and you’re happy to see he’s much less distraught than you. “Let’s just breathe for a second.”

You nod, following the slow breaths he takes in and out, letting the feeling of his hands on you ground you a bit. Once your breathing has evened out he grabs your hands.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble out again.

He shakes his head, a quiet chuckle leaving his mouth..

“Y/N, baby. Stop with the apologizing. The only reason we weren’t telling people is because we didn’t want them in our relationship. Not because I don’t want people knowing we’re together. We’ll deal with them, even if they’re annoying as shit,” he chuckles and you crack a small smile. “And in terms of you calling me your boyfriend, I told my mom I have a girlfriend. I thought we kinda just were that, and we didn’t have to talk about it.”

“Lisa knows I exist?”

“Yeah,” he nods.

You take in one more deep breath before pulling him into a hug. He wraps his arms tightly around your torso, keeping you close to his chest.

“Mila’s gonna be devastated,” you mutter against his chest.

The vibrations of his laughter ring through your ear as he drags his hands up and down your back.

“She already is.”

You lift your head to look at him. “When were you planning on telling me about that, by the way?”

You feel him tense against you, which causes you to pull away in order to look up at him.

“I, uh, I don’t know.”

You nod, letting going of him completely in order to turn and fix your face in the mirror mindlessly. “Why weren’t you going to tell me?”

“I never said I wasn’t.”

“But there was no plan to.”

“I guess not,” he sighs.

“Why not?” You turn back to him again, doing your best to keep your face serious. You weren’t sure how much you were willing to let him see of you being an absolute emotional mess tonight.

“Because,” he shrugs, folding his arms and rubbing his hands against his biceps. “We’ve been so good, Y/N. So fucking good. I thought that shit would somehow make things worse.”

“Not telling me at all definitely made it worse.” You can visibly see him swallow as his now panicked eyes search your face for any tell of how mad you are. “You’re not into her, right?”

He scoffs. “Dude, no. Even if we weren’t together, she’s annoying as fuck. But especially now that I have you?” He chuckles, grabbing your arms to pull you flush against him again. “There’s absolutely no way in hell I’d entertain that shit. Or anyone else. If someone tries to pull that shit again I’ll tell them my hot ass girlfriend will beat the shit out of them.”

“Oh jesus christ.” You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the small smile that works its way onto your lips. “I don’t hurt people.”

“They don’t have to know that.”

“You’re gonna give me a bad rep, Grayson Dolan,” you mumble, going up on your tippy toes to move your face closer to his as your hands grip his sides to keep your balance.

“I’m worth it, though,” he mutters through a smile before finally letting his lips meet yours.

***

“God, you’re like a lovesick puppy.”

You look up from your phone for the first time in an hour, the comment from Kacey coming from where she sits across your living room.

“How do you think you were when you and Ethan started dating?”

“No, this is different. You guys are going through the initial infatuation phase while already being in love. That’s, like, double trouble.” You turn your phone off completely at her assumption and sit up to look at her better.

“In love?”

She raises an expectant eyebrow as she watches you. “Do you not know you’re in love?”

You chuckle. “I think I’d know if I’m in love.”

“Oh my god,” she laughs, gripping the blanket across her lap as she folds over. “Oh- I can’t - you - Y/N, come on,” she huffs out, continuing to laugh as she shakes her head. “You guys are both so fucking in love with each other. You were more in love with Grayson before you even started dating than you ever loved Ben.”

“Did I ever truly love Ben or did I just like the attention?”

“Come on, Y/N. This is not the time to try and reflect on how healthy your feelings were. I’m telling you you’re fucking in love.”

You scoff, throwing your hands up. “How do you know I’m in love if I don’t even know it.”

She rolls her eyes. “You know it, just like you always knew deep down the only reason you acted like you hated Grayson was because of how much you liked him. It’s your defense mechanism to not let people in.” You bite your lip as you consider her words.

Kacey called it your sixth sense. Whatever you wanna call it, your gut was reliable. From the second you met someone you could tell what type of role they would play in your life. You just liked to say you were good at reading people.

But you pushed that down most of the time. Because no matter how bad the person was, they always stuck around to teach you some overarching life lesson. So you would let life happen naturally, doing your best to ignore your intuitions.

And maybe when Kacey had first told you about her and Ethan you could tell he was gonna be around a long time. That was a good sign, a much better sign than any bad feelings. It was only when she would tell the occasional story about Grayson that your gut went whack.

So you avoided them like the plague because no one had made you have any type of intuition just from secondhand stories before. You’d never even met the guy in person before. But you couldn’t control the feeling you got when you talked about him or saw pictures of him or Kacey made you watch their videos.

Maybe your hatred for them was your way of trying to control a situation you really had no control over.

And you’re totally aware, deep deep down that Kacey is totally right on all accounts. You just weren’t ready to confront those feelings today.

“Earth to Y/N?” A piece of popcorn hits you in the face and brings you back to reality.

“What if I’m just infatuated with him and only love the idea of being with a guy I feel like is unattainable?”

Kacey deadpans.

“Okay fine maybe I love him a tiny bit.”

“Oh honey, it’s a lot a bit. But that means we get to be sister-in-laws one day!” She gets up and squeals as she dances around.

“Dude chill, I’m not gonna tell him. We’ve been together for literally three months! And-”

“You’ve been in love for literally so much longer but keep going.”

You roll your eyes but continue your original thought. “First, he would have to love me back, and-”

“He’s been in love with you since before you even met but continue.”

You give her a serious look and she sighs, calming down a bit as she moves to sit with you on the couch.

“We are literally so early on in this relationship. And in life! Who says I even want to get married, or if he does-”

“He totally does.”

“Kacey I will literally strangle you.”

“I’m sorry!” She pouts as she grabs your hands. “I’m just happy for you. You deserve it, the happiness and all of that. I promise I won’t joke about marriage for a while, but let yourself be happy that you’re in love with someone who also loves and cherishes you. He literally is head over heels for you. Like, doesn’t shut up about you ever kinda love.”

That news should make you feel good. Secure, even.

But instead it makes you even more anxious. Because the further you become invested in each other, the more you have to lose. And you’re not sure if you have it in you to lose him.

“You’re spiraling. Oh god why are you spiraling?”

You turn and lean over so that you’re practically laying on top of Kacey at this point. She wraps her arms around you as you try to quell the rising panic.

“It’s gonna hurt so bad when it ends.”

You can feel her tense up for a moment before she starts rubbing your back.

“What makes you say it’s gonna end?” “All good things end, K. At least in my world.”

“Well, Grayson’s better than good. He’s amazing. What’s your gut say?”

You shrug. “For the first time, I actually can’t tell.”

***

It seemed that the harder you pushed your love for Grayson down, the more prominent it became. It was harder to breathe the minute you would see him, but as soon as he was touching you in any way, all of your anxieties flew out the window. No one had simultaneously made you feel so alive and electric, yet so relaxed and calm at the same time. Loving Grayson was fun and easy.

And that made you terrified.

You know Grayson knows something is up, your poker face is shit. But you can’t help but get in your head every time you’re around him. You hear Kacey’s voice telling you to just be honest with how you feel, but your fear of fucking everything up shut that idea down fast.

That didn’t change the distance growing between the two of you, though. Going from seeing each other everyday to a few times a week, picking up your phone every time there was a lull in the conversation rather than asking about something else or just staring at each other until you started laughing. Things were changing quickly.

“Can we talk?”

Another change.

You’d never heard Grayson so serious before, or so quiet and timid. He almost sounded like a wounded animal, calling out its last cry for help.

You nod as you sit up on the couch to make room for him. He walks over to you, sitting sideways on the cushions so that he was facing you directly. His arm rests on the back of the cushion, his fingers against your shoulder prompting you to turn and face him as well. You oblige, sitting criss cross and tucking your feet underneath you as you played with the fringe of the pillow in your lap.

“I, uh, I don’t really...I just - fuck,” he covers his face with his palms, already frustrated with the way he can’t seem to verbalize his thoughts.

His anxiety makes your own anxiety creep up from within you as your chest tightens and your ears start to ring.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

You didn’t intend to sound so fragile, but at this point you had little control over anything. You were gripping the pillow to your chest so hard you felt like you could rip it in half.

His head whips up so that his eyes can meet your sad ones. “No. Shit - ” he shakes his head as he squeezes his eyes shut. “I feel like you’re gonna break up with me.”

“What?” You can’t help the laughter that starts to bubble up and out of your mouth as you lean forward a bit. “Are you serious?”

“I don’t know! You’ve been - how do I… different. Distant.”

You take in a breath, your lips pulling together as you watch the way his eyes almost turn down.

“I’m sorry.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I don’t wanna talk about it to make you feel like you have to apologize for something. I just need to know what’s going on, why you’re less...interested.”

It feels like a knife is being pushed into your chest the minute he finishes his thought. Sure, you’d been a bit distant because of your internal battle that seemed never ending, but you’d never intended to make him feel like you were less into him. Hell, the whole issue is that you’re too into him.

“Gray,” you shake your head, loosening your grip on the pillow and moving to grab one of his hands. He lets you hold it, but doesn’t give you the reassuring pressure of squeezing you back that he always does. “Grayson,” you say more seriously so that his eyes focus on yours. “That’s not what’s happening. I…”

He raises a brow at you expectantly, but you just sigh and let your head fall back on your shoulders. You think if you look up that maybe the tears gathering along your waterline won’t fall down your cheeks.

“Y/N.”

“Hm?” You hum, now closing your eyes to try and trap the tears there.

“What is happening?”

You bite your lip as you shake your head, slowly lowering it again and opening your eyes. As soon as you do so the tears you tried so hard to prevent cloud your vision and slowly stream down your cheeks.

It breaks Grayson’s heart to see you so conflicted and emotional, even if he doesn’t know why. He gives your hand the squeeze you’d been waiting for.

That action is what pushes you over the edge, and you begin to cry. You fold forward over the pillow as your free hand comes to cover your eyes. You let it all out, the stress, the anxiety, the fear, through every shaking sob that leaves your body. Grayson sits there watching, never letting go of your hand.

You guys stay like that until you’re finally able to take in a full breath. His thumb rubs gently over the skin of the back of your hand as you wipe your eyes with your free palm.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffle.

“No,” he mumbles out quietly, his voice a bit hoarse. When you lift your head, you see the tears lining his eyes. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“I do though.” You take in one more big breath before squaring off your shoulders as you prepare to tell him the truth. “It’s my fault you’re sad, and you’ve literally done nothing wrong. You’ve been doing everything right, actually,” you admit. “I’ve been acting all weird and shit because I…” He raises his brows as he waits for you to finish your sentence. You sigh, preparing to say the words that ran through your mind every time you looked at him.

“I love you.”

For some reason, despite your voice being muffled from the hoarseness of your throat, those words seem to echo through the whole room, the universe, even. It’s the only thing you can hear reverberating off the walls because Grayson stopped breathing the minute they left your mouth. And the quieter the echoes get, the more room there is for anxiety to grow inside of you.

Thankfully he doesn’t leave you hanging too long, and as he opens his mouth you can’t decide if you’re grateful he’s able to collect his thoughts so fast or terrified of the rejection you’ve been anticipating since your conversation with Kacey.

“Holy shit.”

Holy shit?

“Holy fucking shit.” He starts laughing loudly, the words repeatedly falling from his mouth through each borderline scream that now replaces the silence in the room. His free hand comes to his chest as he tries to catch his breath, and you watch him in a mix of amusement and horror, completely unsure of what to do.

“Grayson?”

That seems to get his attention, and he’s able to quiet himself a bit. But instead of trying to talk like you expect, he lets go of your hand to bring both of his palms to your cheeks. Before you can comprehend what he’s doing your noses are bumping against one another as he brings his lips to yours. You can barely even call it a kiss because you can feel the way his lips are still turned into a smile as he continues to chuckle into your mouth. He does his best, though, giving you a few quick kisses before he pulls away again with his stupid grin still spread across his face.

“That’s the best god damn thing to ever come out of your mouth.”

You let out a breathy chuckle of relief, still not totally sure what’s happening but just happy he’s not running for the hills.

“We’re getting fucking BJ’s tonight,” he declares while standing, rushing around to find his keys. You sit there still in shock, not sure what the fuck happened and still trying to process his reaction. While he slips his shoes on, he pauses when he notices you still completely unmoved on the couch. “Are you not hungry? It’s our spot, you always want BJ’s.”

“No, I just…” you shake your head, standing from the couch much slower than he did. “Is this a good thing?”

He looks at you confused. “Is what a good thing?”

“That I love you.”

“Baby.” He practically jogs over to you. “It’s the best thing. Can’t top it, honestly. Well, unless you tell me you’re pregnant, then-”

“Hold up.” You bring your hand up to stop him in his tracks. “No to me being pregnant anytime soon you psycho.” He rolls his eyes but he lets you continue as he rests his hands on your hips. “But does that mean…”

As soon as he connects the dots of your unspoken question, he almost appears to physically melt in front of you.

“Of course.” He leans in, leaving kisses along your cheeks, going up to your forehead and ending at the tip of your nose before brushing his lips over yours. “With my whole heart, I love you too.”

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bemybstar · 4 years

Note

Saw you write nsfw including daddy/sir & humilliation kinks so if you're still up for requests...May I request smut where Louis and a carnivore!reader have that kind of relationship (with him being the dominant one ofc)? I've always thought it fit with his herbivore complex and that carnivore fetish of his 👀 can be hcs or a one shot, whatever you prefer! I ADORE your work...Thank you so much for sharing it 😭❤

A/N: Yes I am still taking requests since they are still open! Thanks so much for commenting on my writing I really appreciate it!

Pairing: Louis x fem!carnivore!reader (reader can pick the animal they want)

Warnings: Jealous Louis, dom/sub relationship, mentions of daddy kink, reader gets punished, it’s honestly just filth at this point lol.

“Louis? Do you mind helping me with this next part?” You ask politely and await his response. He was busy finalizing scripts for the drama clubs last play rehearsal, since he’s the leader it’s part of his job. “Sorry but I’m busy right now. We can practice in private later.” He says bluntly not even bothering to look you straight in the eye.

You were a member of the dance team and wanted to go over some last minute critiques for the festivals performance. You’d figured your boyfriend would be up to the task of helping you with some new dance moves but you were clearly mistaken. “But I need your advice now or else I’ll forget the entire choreography later,” you whine.

“I already told you I’m busy. Now go be a good girl and ask someone else to help you until I’m done.” He snarls finally locking eyes with you instead of his paper. “Fine!” You huff as you storm out of his office, “I will...”

You scope around the room for a potential partner, all the girls were already in groups or busy stretching after wrapping up. You sigh in defeat, there goes your chances at getting someone’s input. That was until Bill spotted you and headed your way.

“Hey, Y/N. What’s up?” The bengal tiger asked you sounding a bit too excited. “I overheard you talking to Louis. That guy can be such an asshole, am I right?” Technically you’d be willing to defend your boyfriend and put Bill in his place, but no one knew you two were dating. So you had to play it cool and act approachable in case others got suspicious.

“Haha, yeah I guess so,” you comment wondering how much did he actually hear of the conversation, but you push it aside as an idea pops into your head.

“Bill! Do you mind giving me your opinion on my dance number? You know, since Louis is too busy for me and all,” you pleaded with a smile. “Sure! I’d love to help you out. Where should we start?”

“Hmmm,” you think and look around until you found the perfect spot. “How about there?!” You exclaim as he follows your pointed gaze to the corner of the room. He agrees, taking your word for it as you grab him by the hand and walk over together. You place the stereo on top of the shelf and press play before taking a deep breathe.

“And one, two, three. One, two, three,” Bill’s voice echos through you as you take each step with such ease and grace, moving in sync to the rhythm. “Would you mind practicing with me for a little bit?” You ask him before stopping in place as he agrees to your offer.

His hand touches your arm as he stands behind you, raising your wrist a bit higher for dramatic effect. Your figures project on the mirror in front of you, proving just how close you two really are. His muzzle is just above your head as he instructs you on what to do next. You tilt your head to the side and lock eyes with Louis, who has been watching your every move as you intended. The whole purpose of practicing in the corner was because he had left his door wide open, he pretty much had a front row seat to this little game of yours. And he didn’t seem to like it one bit judging from his envious expression.

Bill had taken something that belonged to him and he’d be damned to let it continue any further. You let go of Bill’s hand and thank him for his partnership once the bell rang. “Bye Bill,” you wave off. “Thanks for all your help again.”

“Anytime, Y/N. Anytime,” he says waving back with a sly grin plastered on his face. You hum quietly to yourself and make your way over to Louis’s office, awaiting for what’s in store. He’s sitting across from you, pupils flaring as his eyebrows drew together in vexation. But before you ask him about his well being, he had the upper hand in stirring the conversation.

“What was all that about?” He asked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Don’t play smart with me. You knew exactly what you were doing,” he scolds. “I don’t know what’s worse. Your desperate need for my attention or your attempt at toying with Bill’s feelings in order to get what you want...”

You gasp upsettingly and walk straight towards him. “They can’t be all that bad if they managed to get the job done. Just face the facts... you were jealous.”

“Excuse me?” He snaps before getting up from his seat. “You told me I had to find someone else to help me and I did just that. Maybe if you would have listened to me from the beginning, I wouldn’t have resorted to Bill in the first place!”

“And maybe if you acted like a good girl from the start, I wouldn’t have to punish you for it now!” He grimaced through gritted teeth.

“You know what happens when you disobey me, right?” He comes into contact with you, filling the space between you and him. He wraps his hand behind your hip and pulls you in close, bracing your palms against his chest from the forceful impact. Your lips are just inches away from his as he stares longingly at them, eager to give you what you crave once you answer his question.

“Y-Yes Louis,” you whisper lowly. His hand quickly races down your hip and goes straight to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. A warning. A mistake on your end, it wasn’t the answer he had grown to expect from you. “Yes. What?”

“Yes, sir,” you whimper correcting yourself. “Mmm, that’s more like it,” he drags and mashes his lips against yours. This kiss isn’t sweet, but fueled with fire and pent-up anger. He’s fast enough to show you that he really wants you but at the same time stands his ground, proving to you that’s he’s in control. He leaves your lips and moves to your neck.

“This doesn’t... this doesn’t change the fact that I’m still mad at you for ignoring me,” you breathe raggedly, screwing your eyes shut at his mouth works wonders on your neck. He had a knack for knowing your weak spots. He then removes your shirt as you place your hands up and toss it to the side. Your bra comes off next as he unhooks it from the back and let’s it drop to the floor. You pull down your red shorts next as to get it over quicker for both of you.

“Stay still...” he orders to the sofa chair in front of you, propping your hands down on the arm rest to gain balance. He strips off his suspenders, loosens his tie, and pulls up his shirt placing it with the rest of the pile on the wooden floor. You spread your legs wide enough so he can get a better look at you, your fully exposed to him in this moment, it’s moments like this he enjoys most. The intimacy was unlike anything either of you had experienced in the past. It’s as if the roles were reversed, you were his prey and he your predator when it came to your sex life. Neither of you felt weak or overpowered because in those moments you were one in the same. Two animals in love, with the same hopes and desires of sharing that love.

“If it’s too much for you let me know,” he’s referring to your punishment as you give him a quick nod indicating you understood. “Good, now count.” He smooths over your fur before giving it a smack, automatically making you count up to your limit. “T-Ten...” you wince from the last one sinking your claws into the fabric as a reflex. By the time Louis was finished, your ass was red and stinging from soreness. “You take your punishment so well for me, baby. But I’m still not done with you yet...”

You hear the sound of a zipper coming undone and the thud of a belt dropping soon after. He takes out his cock and strokes it softly before grinding himself against your fold with his tip. He’s such a tease... you say to yourself. “If you think you really deserve this, then beg.”

“Please!” You shout a little too loudly mainly out of desperation. Your body can barley take it anymore at this point. “I want your cock buried deep inside my pussy. I want you to fuck me senseless until I’m dripping with cum. I—“

Before you can finish Louis slams himself into you, filling you up just the way you needed, the way you’ve been craving. He holds you steady from behind as a way to guide his erotic movements. Rocking into you with his hips little by little, setting up a steady pace before picking it up faster than before. You move up and down his length, getting wetter as each second passes. “F-Fuck Y/N,” he hisses as he continues to savagely thrust into you.

“D-Don’t stop...” you mewl out breathlessly. Your eyes roll back barley able to see straight, as he rams into you harder than before as each time passes. “I-I’m gonna cum, please can I cum?”

Louis grunts before giving you permission to do so. His thrusts become sloppy and messy meaning he’s on the verge of climaxing right along with you. After a couple seconds, you release with a scream of his name as he follows shortly after. His warm cum spurts inside you, filling you up to your core as his liquid pours down your thighs. You gasped as you try to catch your breathe, your eyes fluttering shut as pure exhaustion took over your body. You plop face down on the sofa cushion to regain your strength as you were too exhausted and overwhelmed to move.

Louis puts his clothes back on and excuses himself, giving you a chance to relax. He returns shortly after from the males locker room with a warm towel in hand. You moaned as he ran the smooth material along your body, slipping it between your legs to clean up the cum and sweat dripping out of you. You thank him with a kiss and begin to dress yourself back to your usual state as he waits by the doorframe.

“Now, come on. I believe I owe you a dance lesson...”

———

Tag list - (just ask to be added)

@starr60

#beastars #beastars louis #louis the red deer #louis x reader #louis imagines #louis imagine #beastars x reader #beastars imagines #beastars smut #bemybstar

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soldouthaz · 4 years

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hey all! it’s nearly the end of the year now and it’s time to finish the list of my favorite 2020 fics! (you can find part i of this rec here !) I can’t thank these authors and anyone else who published things this year enough. it’s been many long months where a distraction was much needed, and we got such amazing content for FREE. being able to escape into another world for even just a few minutes right now is priceless.

to everyone who wrote something, read something, or simply made it through this year, kudos to you! wishing everyone a much more relaxing 2021 with even more amazing fics to come. :) thank you guys for everything – happy holidays & new year, and happy reading!

there were so many good ones out this year and there’s no way I can include all of them, but I enjoyed so many more than just the ones on this list! the ones I picked just stood out to me for some reason based on how I was feeling or what I was going through at the time, and they all helped me in some way or another. :) not to mention, I am sooo behind on recent fics and most of the blff, so I will be making more recs slowly into the new year as well!

quick disclaimer! as with every time I put these together, this list is based on my own opinions and features a variety of different kinds of fics and tropes. I include the info next to them for a reason! please stick to your own preferences and leave any hate out of your choices. that being said, if you enjoy any of these, please leave the author a kudos, comment, or send them a message to let them know you liked it!

okay, in no particular order!:

a place with skeletons by @crazyupsetter / whoknows   E | 50k | b!L | veela!Louis

“I would choose anyone other than you,” Louis says, picking up his train of thought again. He feels a lot more cornered and defensive when they’re in Harry’s house, for some reason.

It doesn’t really make sense, considering that this time, Louis was the one who couldn’t hack it any longer. He broke first. There’s something about being in Harry’s space, though, the green and earthy feeling of it. It should feel like open space with all the plants, but Louis has never felt more claustrophobic than he does when he’s here. Harry’s chest moves against his back, a sharp intake of air.

Before he can open his mouth to defend himself, Louis keeps going, “If I had a choice in any of this, I would have been saved by that elderly security guard over you. I wouldn’t mind having to have the occasional cuddle with her.”

even the best laid plans by @falsegoodnight  E | 25k | b!L | uni au

Louis wants to have sex with someone and decides Harry is the perfect alpha for the job.

runaway darling by @solvetheminourdreams  E | 26k | no smut | wedding au

An AU where Louis hates weddings, Harry loves them, and together they help a bride skip hers.

three days in february by @mercurial-madhouse / writing_practice   E | 187k | b!L | magical realism

Louis is cursed after a night out with the lads and the five have just three days to figure out what happened and how to break it before Harry and Louis both lose their sanity and maybe something more. Louis can hear everything Harry thinks and Harry isn’t sure he can keep his feelings for Louis a secret from his own mind.

a springtime’s wilt, an autumn’s bloom by snowcaplou E | 20k | b!L | abo

Harry is Louis' personal chauffeur, and although he hides his feelings for his boss behind a wall of rigid professionalism, Louis still manages to squeeze through the cracks.

just a flicker in the dark by @falsegoodnight   E | 57k | b!L | witch!Louis

Louis is a struggling witch desperate to prove himself after yet another magic disaster and finds a calling in the haunted house of client Niall Horan. Things get more complicated when he’s assigned a case partner: acclaimed medium and ex-boyfriend, Harry Styles.

terror of surrender by @loubellies  E | 31k | b!L | yoga instructor!H

Louis is a recent divorcee with a new favorite yoga teacher, Harry.

loving you’s a bloodsport by @rosesau  M | 106k | no graphic smut | royalty au

harry is a bratty prince, louis is a guard who works in his palace, and niall is the only one who’s got his life in control.

spoonful of sugar by @zanniscaramouche (check out this part too!)  E | 43k | b!L | mob boss!Harry

Louis Tomlinson cares for his family above all else, a fact that’s led him on a twisted path peddling drugs to support them. Just as he’s made the decision to jump ship, Louis gets snared between the two largest crime syndicates in the city. To keep his family safe he’s forced to trust the man that failed to keep his promise two years ago, the resident drug lord he’s unknowingly been working for, Harry Styles.

quiet people have the loudest minds by @2tiedships2  M | 38k | referenced b!L | abo

The one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

works like a charm by @falsegoodnight  E | 18k | b!L | Hogwarts au

Ever since Louis joined the team in fifth year, a few facts have become set in stone.

One: Louis is the best chaser in Hogwarts.

Two: Harry is the best beater in Hogwarts.

Three: They do not get along.

So it’s really unfair of Liam to think that forcing them to spend time together as Louis recovers from his injury will make them the best of friends. The last thing Louis would do is get along with that git.

show you the stars in the daylight by @yvesaintlourent / bruisedhoney  E | 13k | b!L | friends to lovers

The one where Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it’s definitely not his best friend’s little brother Harry…ten years later, he changes his mind.

in a sea of mist by @tomlinvelvetfics  E | 126k | b!L | mythology au

A Greek Mythology/Camp Half-Blood AU where Harry is lost, the road to peace is a wretched one, and somehow, through a mist of confusion and regrets, Louis seems to be the only thing that makes sense and everything Harry needs.

confessions of a fabricated alpha by @jaerie  E | 18k | b!H/b!L mention | abo

famous alpha Harry Styles has a secret and paying an alpha to roleplay a relationship with him over the phone is the only way he can be himself.

take my whole life too by @goodmorninglou  E | 24k | b!L | d/s elements | WIP

Louis knows three things, at the base of it all.

He likes when Harry hurts him. He doesn’t know why, not really, but he knows that he likes it. Likes giving up control, likes feeling small and taken care of, likes being praised for taking whatever Harry gives him for as long as he gives it. He and Harry are meant to be. No matter what time they finally fall together, what day, what age, what place, the moment that they do, that’ll be it. It’s going to be them against everyone else, hand in hand for the rest of their lives. That’s been a given since they met. The half of Louis’ soul that’s missing is Harry’s.

And, sans those two things, he doesn’t really know much of anything at all.

sweet like honey by @falsegoodnight  E | 33k | b!L | amateur porn au

Harry and Louis need money and they find an unconventional solution in the form of PornHub. It’s not supposed to be a big deal.

a few rereads posted from before this year that I enjoyed again!

the case of the (definitely not haunted) styles mansion by briamaria  E | 40k | b!H | nancy drew au

the Nancy Drew AU where Marcel is a man of logic, Louis is a private detective who believes in ghosts, and the Styles Mansion is definitely, absolutely, positively *not* haunted.

canyon moon by @eeveelou  E | 40k | b!L | abo

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry. Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

lemon eyes by @turnyourankle  E | 50k | b!H | abo

It’s not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn’t give a damn what’s proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he’s concerned, the right alpha won’t care, and he’ll have some fun on the way. And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?

all this delusion in our heads by snowcaplou   E | 15k | b!L | exes to lovers

After Harry and Louis break up, they cope with it in very different ways. What will happen when Harry keeps calling his ex over when things go wrong in his life, but Louis just can’t take it anymore?

the way the storms blow by @rbbsbb  E | 21k | b!L | roommates au

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes.

Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way. Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

and a few more recs from some other fandoms for anyone who might be interested! (feel free to rec me some more if you know of any!)

burning the ground by lq_traintracks (drarry)  E | 10k | b!draco | abo

“Strap him down,” someone said, and Harry felt the rage thicken inside him – the viscous fear. Magical bindings pulled taut around his wrists … He felt a wand touch his arm and then a sharp bite as something punctured the skin, and a sweet, cool tonic rushed his veins. His breathing slowed. His eyelids drooped. The ceiling went grey and dark. And then he heard a woman’s voice sigh, “Someone, get Healer Malfoy.”

every step you take by nokomis (sterek)   E | 50k | light b!Stiles | abo

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.

alright, I think that’s it for this rec! as always, please let me know if i’ve tagged anything incorrectly or if you’d like to be untagged from something!

and like I said before, I am wayyy behind on reading for these last few months and I need to catch up. when I do, I’ll definitely make some more recs into the new year!

I just want to say another thank you to anyone who wrote or read or created or just existed this year. it’s been hard on us all but having this outlet definitely made it easier. I can’t wait to see what else is published next year! happy reading everyone, and happy new year! :)

#okay trying to post this for the second time around!#fingers crossed!#y'all let me know if anything is messed up please!#fic recs #my fic recs #about me #2020

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im-the-punk-who · 4 years

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Can you explain how a slave revolt in the Bahamas could have changed the history of America?

HELLO ANON FROM LIKE FOUR MONTHS AGO! I kept meaning to go back to this and then uhhh forgetting to do that. (Also thank you for indulging me and sending this sort-of-directly-asked-for-question lmao)

So. Here’s a brief overview of how a successful slave revolt like in Black Sails could have changed the history of not just America, but the entire world. And quite, well - easily - had the circumstances in Black Sails presented themselves.

First off, standard disclaimer that this is all conjecture based on my own research and knowledge of both history and Black Sails. It isn’t meant as a takedown of anyone else’s views, or the character’s actions. The strongest I would call this is a wishful critique of the choices the writers made to include the things they did in the way they were included, and the way those same writers chose to end the story they chose to tell. And maybe, a little bit, a frustration of how the inevitability of american history is used as a given in fandom to defend certain character’s actions - but it is not meant to invalidate the reasons behind those actions. Just to point out that those reasons were more emotionally than factually driven (Which is cool! And very real to the kinds of tragedies that play out in real life revolutions! Vive le realismé!)

Also quite obviously I’m not a professional in any way. I was eating soup from a can as I wrote this. I am now eating cookies for dinner. I am writing this because it’s fun for me. It’s fun!! If deep thought-experiment type analysis of media isn’t your cuppa, that’s fine - you can keep scrolling.

I’ve included major historical events from 1700-1740 since that is the general time period that Black Sails draws its history from. In particular, most of the later seasons’ historical references come from the 1730s. While I’ve tried to be as thorough as possible...there are so many ways history could have been changed by a tiny action that it would be impossible to cover them all. For brevity, I’m focusing on the history of the Bahamas, the Caribbean, and Colonial America. I’ll touch on other places as is relevant but like......it’s world history for a reason.

Okay, here goes.

So first and foremost, to understand how it’s destruction could have changed America, you really need to understand just how much economic power chattel slavery gave colonial empires and England in particular.

Slavery was the most important economic force in Colonial England, and not just in what the slaves produced. The slave trade itself was the most lucrative business in existence at the time. If you want to learn more about that, I highly recommend listening to this podcast, which does an excellent job of explaining how the economic buying and selling and bonding of slaves was of such value to colonial empires. This is important because the most powerful contemporary argument for the continuation of slavery was that it “could not be ended in the Americas until there was certainty that it wouldn’t create social or economic irritation.” (Thomas Jefferson, 1783.)

(Slavery in itself is not something that was unique to the british empire or even the Imperialist governments that created it. Most cultures have had some form of slavery. However, this was not the type of generational slavery that colonial empires employed. In most cases before the 1400s, slaves were not kept slaves solely based on the color of their skin - they were war prisoners, criminals, or debtors. In most cases, slaves could work to buy their freedom, and most importantly, slavery was not an inherited state that passed from parent to child.

What we think of in terms of colonial slavery is chattel slavery - which is the kind of slavery Europeans imposed on Africans starting in the fifteenth century. These slaves could not buy their freedom. They were viewed as property instead of human beings based on their race and their children were automatically enslaved in the same way they were. They were mistreated, and viewed as subhuman, without any chance of escaping the bonds which had been forced upon them.

Because of this new type of slavery that started in the colonial era, Europeans needed to justify why they were entitled to own other people as slaves. They needed to convince themselves and other people that there was some moral justification for chattel slavery. This is what led to all the myths of ‘happy’ servitude, racial inferiority, and any ‘benefits’ slavery imparted to slaves. These were all lies created by philosophical thinkers and plantation owners and politicians that let settlers convince themselves they were not committing crimes of immense magnitude against other human beings. For much of the colonial era, these were the norm in thinking and their vestiges still linger today. But these were used to justify slavery because of how important it was economically.

And of course there were always dissenters. Since slavery was first introduced to the colonies there were people who knew that this sort of treatment was just not very gucci. These people argued that slavery went against the very nature of a ‘just’ society. That benefitting off the mistreatment of other human beings was akin to spiritual robbery, and that “European colonies should be destroyed rather than create so many unfortunates!” (Louis Jaucourt, 1754). With your goddamn motherfucking chest Jaucourt. The Quakers of Pennsylvania were strong proponents of abolition since the 1670’s! James Oglethorpe(yes, that Oglethorpe) himself was a staunch abolitionist who went as far as to make slavery illegal in Georgia when he formed the colony in 1733.

The economic power of slavery was used as a justification to keep it intact for hundreds of years and many colonists were happy with this, but it’s important to remember that not everyone was. England and the colonists were far from unanimously in support of the practice. This becomes important later! Like, this is the basis for the whole argument of how a drawn out war in the Bahamas could have ended slavery and changed colonial imperialism.)

OKAY NOW THAT WE’VE GOT THAT COVERED.

Now let’s go to the people it affected. Enslaved black people have been fighting against their enslavement since they were taken from their homes and brought across the Atlantic in the 15th century. Starting in the 1700s, slave revolts started to see more and more success in these efforts, until in the late 1700s and early 1800s public opinion of slavery finally dropped enough that it was outlawed in the colonial empires of England and France. In the years of 1700-1740, there were several rebellions in the North American area including:

1712 New York Slave Revolt (British Province of New York)

1730 Chesapeake rebellion (British Chesapeake Colonies)

1733 St. John Slave Revolt (Danish Saint John)

1739 Stono Rebellion ((British Province of South Carolina)

1741 New York Conspiracy (British Province of New York)

And of course,

1728-1739 First Maroon War (British Jamaica)

This is the war which the war in Black Sails is based on. The treaty that was offered by Woodes Rogers in Black Sails is almost word for word(minus the pirates bit) the treaty offered to the Leeward Maroons in this war. There are references to the factions in this war and even some of the historical people involved in it. The major difference? The Maroon war was successful. The Maroons were so good at warfare on their turf that the British were unable to sustain any major victories against them. After ten years they offered the Maroons a treaty granting them governmental agency(although not independence). In return, the Maroons agreed to return any escaped slaves back to the British, and to help the British fight off “invaders”. The Leeward maroons led by Cudjoe(Julius, in Black Sails) took this offer to avoid more fighting because he believed in an honorable peace with the enemy. Queen Nanny and her Windward Maroons(The Maroon Queen and Madi in Black Sails) refused because like....bruh those terms suck. After a year she was pressured into relenting by Cudjoe, but within thirty years the Maroons had started another war, dissatisfied with how the treaty was being carried out.

(This is Queen Nanny. And yes, she is better than you.)

I also need to mention that Africans were not the only ones in North America hurt by British Colonialism, nor the only ones for whom abolition and an end to colonial empire was attractive. The Native Americans were also a constant frustration to the colonies, and, because it’s relevant to later things, I want to mention one incident in particular:

The Yamasee War (1715-1717)

The Yamasee were a Lower Creek tribe that lived in what is today Georgia/Florida. The war was fought over a bunch of different things, including trading systems and colonists depleting the game in the area, but also because of the colonists’ nasty habit of trying to enslave Native American people. Bummer. So a bunch of tribes(and I mean a bunch - there were Shawnee and Cherokee factions, as well as about half a dozen other distinct nations that joined in the fight in sort of that loose ‘hey you hate these guys? we hate these guys!’ way.)

Long story short, this war was a pretty significant factor in the colonists in the South not enslaving(outright) Native Americans anymore, and instead increasing the import of African slaves to the south. After this war the Yamasee split into two factions, one anti-colonist and one pro-colonist. The pro-colonist people called themselves the Yamacraw, and it was these people who granted Oglethorpe(yes, that Oglethorpe) the land which he used to found Georgia. Moral of the story, alliances between abolitionists and indigenous tribes were already in place in the colonies. Just waiting for a chance to be used.

(Tomochichi, the leader of the Yamacraw and very cool accessorizor)

(Yet ANOTHER thing to keep in mind is that before the end of the 18th century, both Haiti and Grenada would see major revolutions against their colonial empires. Slaves in all provinces and colonies were continually fighting for their freedom. What they lacked was a unifying force that supplied them enough power and cohesion to fight the empire man-to-man, so to speak.)

SO. INTO THIS SCENE, ENTER JAMES FLINT - ANGRIEST OF MLM SCALLYWAGS AND TACTICIAN EXTRAORDINAIRE.

(So cute.)

Anyway, the Golden Age of Piracy was largely over by the early 1720 - most of the pirates of Nassau took Rogers’ pardon and reintegrated as citizens of society. That or they like....died. A lot of them died. Gruesomely. Nasty business, piratry. So, if we assume that in Black Sails’ history that Flint and Silver managed to convince the Maroons to rebel ten years earlier, join with the pirates who did not want to assimilate, and start a revolution; now instead of two separate wars Britain is now fighting one much bigger, nastier, more expensive one.

Backed by people with a good deal of money at their disposal. Cha-ching.

Keep in mind that Britain had already been at war for almost thirty years with first the Glorious Revolution and the Jacobite risings(1688-forever) and the War of Spanish Succession(1701-1714). Their resources had already been depleted. And this was why the American colonies(and India) had become so important to them. Remember what I said about the economic importance of slavery? It’s because Brtitain was using the slave trade to refill its coffers after an extensive and costly military campaign.

So now, this new war is not only putting an additional drain on the empire’s resources before Britain has had a chance to replenish itself but it is also taking away the very source of income needed to replenish itself. (Since the war would target places heavy with slave trading.) In addition, the pirates handed a significant defeat to the British Navy that ended with the Navy retreating - turning tail and running from the island. This was actually a huge victory and one that was sort of downplayed in the show but would be incredibly significant in the event of a long campaign.

Rogers is not taking Nassau with the full support of Britain. He is only fighting with the traitors who did not return when the Navy withdrew. That is why he has to go to Spain in the first place.

The show has also told us that this rebellion is already starting to be widely known - pirates and slaves from Barbados, the Bahamas, as far as Massachusetts are coming to aid the rebellion in the hopes of freedom. This is not a small thing.

Even with the loss of the Walrus and most of the Walrus crew, there are still thousands of fighters on the Maroon Island. Slaves, mainland pirates - the defeat of the Walrus was a personal defeat but in the grand scheme of a larger war it was a small loss in what was ultimately a huge victory.

Rogers has been squarely defeated. Because of that, they now have Nassau as a base. The war now has two strongholds - one protected by the forest and one protected by a fort - into which they can store supplies, retreat, and organize attacks from. If they can free the rest of the slaves on the island of Nassau and either oust or convert the puritans, all the better.

The war at the point Rogers is defeated was far from a never-ending thing. In fact I would say that Flint is absolutely right - they are incredibly close to a decisive victory. England cannot afford to muster a large enough force to defeat two entrenched enemies working together - especially ones as well financed as we’re led to believe the chest would make the Maroons and Pirates. Even if Britain could somehow convince Spain and/or France to join them, both of those nations have also been severely depleted by wars of their own. And again, the more nations that Britain brings in, the more potentially disaffected people could be brought in to join the pirates(see, Haiti and Grenada specifically, both of which were French colonies at the time, and the Spanish colonies of Cuba, Puerto Rico, etc).

So from here, the smartest thing for the rebellion to do would be to hit large plantations: to both free the slaves and cripple Britain’s economy. Make slavery more costly to enforce than it is profitable to sustain, and build their numbers for the war as well, as well as like, you know, freeing slaves. Make it so that Britain could not sustain the cost of trying to fight it - as James said all the way back in 1705. Force a surrender on economic grounds.

So now, the power behind the empire has been broken. Even assuming a modest victory, the course of the entire world - not just the Americas - has changed. In victory, let’s say the Bahama/Caribbean islands are freed from British rule. Slavery in the americas will also never be able to get the foothold it does, historically.

With a free nation actively willing to target slave plantations and ships sitting between it and Africa, the colonial slave trade is finished. Now sure, they could use the existing slaves, but it would be oh-so-easy for the Pirates and Maroons, alongside their hopeful new Native and abolitionist allies, to target large plantations and cripple them.

If slavery never gets a foothold in the south, northern colonies never build the banks and mills and economic powerhouses that profit from the cheap produce, and most find another way to survive. Perhaps, if we’re going really all out, they start working with the native americans - learning ways to cultivate and grow crops with the land and in balance, rather than clearing thousands of acres for damaging cash crops.

I want to be really, really clear about this because it is incredibly important. Without slavery, the British empire would not have bee able to sustain itself. It would not have the power. And the more it tried to tax the colonists to recoup its losses, the angrier those people were likely to get, and perhaps join the Maroons and Pirates, or perhaps evens start the american revolution early - maybe even with the help of the newly independent Jamaican/Bahaman island nations.

This break in the power of colonial empires would shift world history into something unrecognizable as we know it. The empires would still exist, of course, but they would be set on their heels - France and Spain would see what happened to Britain and be less inclined to keep slavery legal in their own colonies. Power is split more evenly among the world, and indigenous and black/African nations are not wiped out in genocidal bids for power.

Which brings me to India. If the Indian rebellions learned of what happened in America and the Bahamas, or if america had drained enough of britain’s resources that the British East India Trading Company was not able to be as controlling of the area, this could have meant independence centuries earlier, as well as a much easier path to independence. Think about what could have been if the Indian people had been able to oust a struggling empire from its shores an entire century before it historically did.

(This bad boy is Mangal Pandey, who led the first major Indian revolution in the mid 1800s. In the movie adaptation his boyfriend best friend is played by Toby Stephens so I’m connecting the dots.)

Once the colonies of America and India are gone, Britain loses almost the entirety of its colonial power. (And this isn’t even including all the smaller colonies which could cloak their own independence in these big revolutions and the lack of (as much) of an indigenous genocide in many of these places. The economic disparity that defines Black experience in places that the British colonial system touched never gets a hold, and they are able to build their own economies in ways that benefit them and the places they live.

Think about the wealth of culture in ALL nations that would not have been destroyed, had Britain not been allowed to swallow whole swaths of land whole.

And, look. I know this is fiction. I know that of course, none of this happened, and that Black Sails is a fictional landscape. I know that so many things could go differently than I imagine them. I know that to extrapolate like this relies heavily on actually caring about a world that is completely different from ours and envisioning how that could come about.

I also know, that it is just as important to tell these sorts of stories as telling stories about how small acts could have changed things immensely, as it is to tell them about how society must stay the same. It is just as important to tell stories about ‘what if colonialism were able to be stopped’ as it is to tell dystopian stories about the end of the world. It may not be as much fun, but it is important to remember that our power doesn’t lie an indiscernible amount of time in the future, after the world has already gone to shit. It lies with us, right now. And that even if it is hard to see, our actions have the power to shape history.

#annyway have a BUNCH OF FEELINGS AND HISTORICAL FACTS BUNDLED TOGETHER AS FANDOM META #black sails #milos black sails meta #black sails and colonialism #james mcgraw #madi scott #uhhhhhhhh #historical meta #IDK MAN WHAT TO TAG THIS JUST INDULGE ME AND READ IT LMAO #long post #god i hope the readmore works lmao #Anonymous #black sails meta

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