#if the content and quality of a speech are good why does it matter if the speaker moves a little bit??

[mainlysarcastic]

I still hate that in 9th grade English I got points taken off a speech because I was rocking back and forth/ shifting from leg to leg during the speech

Like.. I have chronic Lyme causing chronic joint pain

I physically cannot just stand still without being in extra pain

Why the fuck is standing perfectly still necessary for giving a speech???

[amplifyme]

Finished Bright Spirit Descending~.

(This is going to be quick and unedited as I've got to keep going irl.)

Nan is brilliant, as always.

I'd love to hear all about bts content-- did Nan write this after her fics? When and why did she get contacted to write? Are there any interviews I can read up on? Any and all information will be greedily swallowed whole.

Loved how this filled-in the episodes-- tv or movie novelizations are a beloved niche of mine.

Nan definitely understood Cathy better than I did (and do); and I think her point (through Vincent's POV) is too true-- that Cathy is drawn to and feels alive in the danger without realizing, like she had been drawn to her abusive ex without first sorting her fearfully contradictory emotions. It's unhealthy, it's a feedback loop for Vincent, and both of their situations are probably going to get worse before it gets better. And, like you say, Cathy is naive and doesn't intend to harm; but there's also that willfully naive or obstinately "I can do this" quality to her that does not bend to circumstance. There is only one route to be done, always. Now that I think about it, she's very like Father: neither like to change their views on matters, both have "set in their ways" habits, and both collapse rather quickly when their viewpoint of the world is shattered or challenged. Or, if they rise to the challenge, it is because they have another viewpoint as a backup (i.e. Cathy's "you always told me to face my fears!" on the tail end of a failure.) I don't have a moment where I heavily dislike or am irritated by her other than the moments where the emotions that she prizes so strongly get in the way of common sense or logic. She's come a long way, and will go longer I'm sure. (S1 finale made me really respect her and look forward to those possibilities. However, I always remind myself that all roads lead to Rome.)

Jacob and John, Paracelsus and Father. Seamless, gorgeous, beautifully constructed. Anna and Grace and Devin and little Vincent... all of their characters were exceptional. The community's construction, expanding borders, rules, governances, operations, interpersonal dynamics: all exquisite. John's descent and Anna's end and Vincent's torture and Devin's love and speech (I had a kid in my life give a Devin speech once-- excellently written, Nan) and Father saving and learning to love his new son and the community closing ranks around Vincent for more complex and complicated reasons and why John stayed and why he finally left....

I'm almost speechless at the quality of this book. I could not put it down and read it all the way through (good thing I trusted Nan's excellence and planned for that to happen going in.)

It did clarify my confusion in Nan's other fic: Vincent thinks the same "I must separate from" thoughts; but, aside from the Pilot and the finale episode, I can't recall if that is an established pattern of behavior in S1. He's had many conversations of how much Catherine struggles (and himself); but never about permanently severing their tie or communication. I don't think, anyway. (Correct me if I'm wrong!) I do agree it is Vincent's nature. My only wonder is if it is to this degree. And if I am wrong, then that tells me I either missed something HUGE in S1 or there's a monster of character writing to face in S2 and S3; and I can't wait to turn the corner and find it.

Also: Nan filtering Vincent's mind through Paracelsus's drug and Catherine's woozy daydreams of Dris and Eurydice and all of the mythologies put together was so brilliantly done that I'm of two minds: that that was the original intention to be drawn, or that it was a slight intention that Nan magnified. Either way, what excellent, excellent writing.

I am so satisfied and pleased and content and abuzz with this story and this show these characters that I might fill in some S1 gaps (if you think I've missed any, point them out!), go over some passages of Nan's work, and watch it all jenga higher and higher as it builds towards S3 and "S4".

Thank you again and again for putting pieces up of Nan's writing and of this series (and so much more~.)

Book discussion below...

I'd love to hear all about bts content-- did Nan write this after her fics? When and why did she get contacted to write? Are there any interviews I can read up on? Any and all information will be greedily swallowed whole.

A little background: Nan wrote and published the AWTN series between 1991-1992 and it was, I believe, the first BATB fanfic she'd written. Then at some point in 1991 she was commissioned by Cinemaker Press, who had the license to publish BATB fiction, with the approval of Republic Pictures (which owned the rights to the show), to write a novelization of the S2 ending trilogy, which she titled Beyond Words, Beyond Silence. A year after that was published, she was approached to write a second novelization and chose to tackle The Alchemist and To Reign in Hell and create the backstory of the tunnel community.

I never asked Nan specifically why she was approached, but I have to assume that someone at Cinemaker read at least some of AWTN. And Nan was already a fairly well known sci-fi/fantasy writer with several professionally published works under her belt. So who better to commission, right?

Sadly, Cinemaker Press lost their publishing license and folded while in the midst of prepping Bright Spirit Descending for publication. So Nan eventually published it herself as a fanzine. There are still copies of Beyond Words, Beyond Silence floating around (I have one myself) but any for sale are stupidly expensive. Last I looked, the price was $159. Oops, just looked on Amazon and now it's closer to $180. Luckily for fans of Nan, she continued to make both novels available for download and at no cost up until her death, and still to this day.

As far as interviews, there's little to nothing on the web. Nan had very little desire for self-promotion. She was much more interested in mentoring and promoting other writers and artists in the fandom and doing her part to keep the dream alive after the show was canceled. Her website for the two authorized novels is still accessible here: http://nan_dibble.tripod.com/

You can also access more information about her on Fanlore. If you do a deep dive on the links to her BATB fanfic there, you'll discover that her AWTN series was considered one of the most controversial zines in the fandom and not very well received by Classic fans (those who deny anything that happened after the S2 finale and insist Cathy didn't die). I'm afraid that by introducing you to Nan's work and the show with AWTN, I've brought you into a very small subset of the fandom that loved all three seasons and the idea of Diana as the perfect romantic partner for Vincent post S3. It's really quite amazing, if you venture into reading other 4th Season writers, that we seemed to have acquired a hive mind when it came to how we saw Diana and what would likely be Vincent's fascination with her.

On to other things...

Cathy is drawn to and feels alive in the danger without realizing, like she had been drawn to her abusive ex without first sorting her fearfully contradictory emotions. It's unhealthy, it's a feedback loop for Vincent, and both of their situations are probably going to get worse before it gets better.

Your last line here is an understatement. S2 is a rollercoaster ride, S3 even more so. But before I scare you, both seasons are filled with lovely stories and individual moments as well.

Now that I think about it, she's very like Father: neither like to change their views on matters, both have "set in their ways" habits, and both collapse rather quickly when their viewpoint of the world is shattered or challenged.

Yes! You can't see it, but I'm standing up and applauding. I love how easily you're picking up all these little nuances that even some longtime fans have never noticed or given much thought to. I love that. ☺️

It did clarify my confusion in Nan's other fic: Vincent thinks the same "I must separate from" thoughts; but, aside from the Pilot and the finale episode, I can't recall if that is an established pattern of behavior in S1.

It's there, but not obvious. I think any fan who gets to know Vincent (through repeated watches) in all his aspects and personality quirks, gets to the point where they just know that his thinking is when it came to Cathy, specifically, and the tunnel community at large. He is always aware of his otherness, his aloneness, and the danger he poses to the people he loves because of that. There are more hints and confirmations of this mindset in S2.

Wasn't the backstory of the tunnel community wonderful? It was my favorite part of the book, and Nan handled it masterfully. ❤️

[umutisiktagiyev]

Book Notes | Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu | 01.11.2023

It is a rather dull work. I read all of it in one day in a math class today. The introduction and later explanation pages are longer than the book itself.

The book is more about political rule than anything, dedicated to teaching the rulers of the time how to conduct their behavior. 

It feels as if the work is kept knowingly cryptic, as the text is meant to rhyme and be remembered, while the explanation would be given orally to the scholars of the time.

The book mentions essential stuff, like how things that can be named are not constants but creations. It also has some base-level creation myths.

The main message is about the way, Tao, which is very close to BEING (the power of now). One does not resist, one does not do act; one goes with the flow and is yielding towards life.

Polarities are absurd and a product of the human mind. There are no opposites within the way.

Desire is the greatest sin. You should act so naturally and do so little that the people you rule over don’t even know your existence. It’s about being like water, how it corrodes the hardest of materials, how women win over men.

Accepting the opposites as a way of yielding is positive; for example, the sage does not put himself first but does come first.

“In the home, it is the site that matters; in quality of mind, it is the depth that matters; in an ally, it is benevolence that matters; in speech, it is good faith that matters; in government, it is order that matters; in affairs, it is the ability that matters, in action it is timeliness that matters.”

“When his task is accomplished and his work done, the people all say ‘it happened to us naturally.”

“A man of the way conforms to the way, and a man of virtue conforms to virtue; a man of loss conforms to loss. He who conforms is gladly accepted, by the way.”

“He who tiptoes cannot stand; he who strides cannot walk.”

“Heaven and earth will unite and sweet dew will fall, and the people will be equitable, though no one so decrees. Only when it is cut are there names. As soon as there are names, one ought to know that it is time to stop. Knowing when to stop, one can be free from danger.”

It is said that the more you seek, the less you understand.

“He who knows others is clever; He who knows himself has discernment. He who overcomes others has force; He who overcomes himself is strong. He who knows contentment is rich He who preserves is a man of purpose He who does not lose his station will endure He who lives out his days has had a long life.”

“If you would have a thing shrink, you must first stretch it.”

“A man of the highest virtue does not keep to virtue, and that is why he has virtue.”

“The myriad creatures carry on their backs the yin and embrace in their arms the yang and are the blending of the generative forces of the two.”

“One who excels as a warrior does not appear formidable. One who excels in fighting is never roused in anger. “

“Hence the sage knows himself but does not display himself, loves himself but does not exalt himself. He who is fearless in being bold will meet with his death. He who is fearless in being timid will stay alive.”

“Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive.”

There is a lesson to be learned from every medium. Our understanding has to be holistic; everything is connected to each other. There are essential truths reached by sages centuries apart.

This book made me think about my ideas about God. I lost my faith when I was around ten years old when I moved up to my head and studied physics nonstop—a pure materialist through and through.

I don’t defend or propose that Christianity or any other institutional religion is correct, but they might point to a similar truth. That BEING, call it God, the way, or the emptiness, might even be the universe; it can or might have greater intelligence. It is alive; the entire universe might be one giant body. Can we even call it dead? 

There is an intelligence inherent to life. Am I controlling my breathing? The division of my cells? My organs?

Your body is just as smart as you are, if not more. Ignoring its intelligence is senseless and counterproductive. Ignoring the intelligence of the universe might be the same thing.

The closest thing to a god I can imagine is the Jungian idea of the collective unconscious. And that God, or the universe, is feminine.

4.2/10

[ipcsglobal123]

Artificial Intelligence and Human Intellect

What is AI?

Artificial intelligence is the simulation of human intelligence processes by machines, especially computer systems. A few particular applications of AI are in machine learning, speech recognition, natural language processing, expert systems, and vision.

The term artificial intelligence (AI) refers to a group of technologies that enable computers to do a variety of complex activities, including speech and text comprehension, data analysis, recommendation making, and vision.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is the cornerstone of modern computing innovation, benefiting individuals and businesses alike. Optical character recognition (OCR) is one application of AI that transforms unstructured content into structured data that is ready for business use and provides insightful information by extracting text and data from photos and documents.  

How does it work?

With the increasing hype surrounding AI, companies are rushing to highlight the ways in which their goods and services leverage this technology. Frequently, what is called artificial intelligence is just a feature of the technology, like machine learning. Machine learning algorithms must be written and trained on specialised hardware and software, which is a prerequisite for AI. There isn't just one programming language that works with AI, however AI developers tend to like Python, R, Java, C++, and Julia due to their features.

Large-scale tagged training data is frequently ingested by artificial intelligence (AI) systems, which then use the data's correlations and patterns to predict future states.In this way, an image recognition programme can learn to recognise and characterise items in photographs by going through millions of examples, or a chatbot fed text examples can learn to create realistic conversations with people.Realistic writing, pictures, music, and other media can be produced using generative AI algorithms, which are growing swiftly.

AI programming focuses on cognitive functions like these:

Learning: This branch of AI programming focuses on acquiring data and creating the rules required to convert it into useful knowledge. The rules, also known as algorithms, provide specific instructions to computing systems on how to perform specific tasks.

Reasoning: Selecting the appropriate algorithm to get the intended result is the main goal of this area of AI programming.

Self-correction: The goal of this AI programming feature is to continuously improve algorithms so they can deliver the most accurate results.

Creativity: This branch of AI creates new text, images, music, and ideas through the use of neural networks, rules-based systems, statistical techniques, and other AI tools.

Why does artificial intelligence matter?

AI is significant because it has the ability to alter our way of living, working, and playing. It has been successfully applied in business to automate human labor-intensive processes like fraud detection, lead generating, quality control, and customer support. AI is far more efficient than humans at a lot of tasks. AI technologies frequently do projects fast and with very few errors, especially when it comes to repetitive, detail-oriented activities like analysing a huge number of legal papers to verify important fields are filled in appropriately. AI can provide businesses with previously unknown insights into their operations due to the vast amounts of data it can handle. The fast growing number of generative AI tools will be crucial for a variety of industries, including marketing, education, and product creation.

In fact, the advancement of AI techniques has opened up entirely new markets for certain larger companies in addition to helping to boost efficiency. Before the current wave of AI, it would have been hard to imagine using computer software to connect people to taxis, but Uber has gained Fortune 500 status by doing just that.

Many of the biggest and most prosperous businesses in existence today, like Apple, Microsoft, Alphabet, and Meta, rely heavily on artificial intelligence (AI) to outperform rivals and streamline operations. For instance, Google, an Alphabet company, uses AI extensively in its search engine, Waymo's autonomous vehicles, and Google Brain, which created the transformer neural network design that serves as the foundation for the most recent advancements in natural language processing.

What are some applications for artificial intelligence technology today?

Automation: Automation tools have the potential to increase the quantity and variety of jobs completed when combined with AI technologies. One example is the kind of software known as robotic process automation (RPA), which replaces humans in repetitive, rule-based data processing tasks. RPA's tactical bots may relay AI intelligence and react to process modifications by automating more portions of corporate jobs when paired with machine learning and new AI tools.

Machine Learning: Automation tools have the potential to increase the quantity and variety of jobs completed when combined with AI technologies. One example is the kind of software known as robotic process automation (RPA), which replaces humans in repetitive, rule-based data processing tasks. RPA's tactical bots may relay AI intelligence and react to process modifications by automating more portions of corporate jobs when paired with machine learning and new AI tools.

Robotics: The design and production of robots is the main emphasis of this branch of engineering. Robots are frequently utilised to carry out jobs that are hard for people to regularly complete or accomplish. For instance, NASA uses robots to move big items in space, while auto manufacturers utilise them on assembly lines. Additionally, machine learning is being used by researchers to create socially interactive robots.

Natural Language processing (NLP): This is how a computer programme interprets human language. The most well-known and traditional use of natural language processing (NLP) is in spam detection, which determines whether an email is spam by analysing its content and subject line. The methods used in NLP today are based on machine learning. Text translation, sentiment analysis, and speech recognition are examples of NLP tasks.

Applications of AI

AI in business: In order to get insights into how to provide better customer service, machine learning algorithms are being included into analytics and CRM systems. Websites now have chatbots integrated into them to offer clients instant assistance. It is anticipated that the swift development of generative AI technologies, like ChatGPT, would have far-reaching effects, including the abolition of jobs, a revolution in product design, and a disruption of business paradigms.

AI in finance: Financial institutions are being disrupted by artificial intelligence in personal finance software like TurboTax and Intuit Mint. These kinds of apps gather personal information and offer financial guidance. The home-buying process has been integrated with other programmes, like IBM Watson. Nowadays, a large portion of Wall Street trading is carried out by artificial intelligence software.

AI in banking: Chatbots are being used by banks with success to conduct transactions that don't need for human participation and to inform clients about services and opportunities. Artificial Intelligence (AI) virtual assistants are utilised to reduce and enhance banking regulatory compliance expenses. AI is used by banking institutions to enhance loan decision-making, establish credit limits, and find investment opportunities.

Conclusion

Gaining a deeper comprehension of the distinctions between artificial intelligence (AI) and human intellect is imperative in order to better equip ourselves for the society of the future, when AI will significantly impact our daily lives. It is impossible to divorce biological and human intelligence from the process of self-replication. Thus, until AI gains artificial life, a fundamental divide between human intelligence and AI persists. The most obvious ways that human intelligence differs from animal intelligence are through social and metacognitive abilities. Even if developments will probably make AI work better, it will still be dependent on human effort. But if AI is able to replicate itself and turn into a fully artificial life form, things might go wrong.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

RE8 Ladies + Love Languages

While this isn't terribly long per character, I am putting it under a read-more for the combined length. Some characters have more details than others, partially due to how much I've written for them (and therefore had time to think about how they show their affections). For once the contents are not in alphabetical order. Crazy, right? PS there's a very, very brief implication of NSFW in Daniela's section.

Features the entire Dimitrescu family, Mother Miranda, Donna Beneviento, and as a lil bonus Ava.

Cassandra Dimitrescu:

Primary Love Language: Physical touch

Secondary Love Language: Acts of Service

Examples: Constantly wants to be touching some part of her lover, even if she sometimes pretends otherwise, from hand holding to making them sit in her lap. So goddamn touch starved. Preferably sleeps with her lover sprawled out on top of her, weighing her down, soothed by the constant pressure. Seriously, this woman needs someone to hold her as close as possible, running their fingers through her hair, pressing soft little kisses along her neck + shoulder. And then repeat. Every single day. For life.

Treating her lover’s wounds, or bringing them tea to soothe their nightmares, or monitoring their health when they're sick (see: Bound Blood + We Don’t Talk About That). Cassandra hates feeling like she owes someone, and isn’t fond of others owing her (because when they pay her back, she might end up owing them “the difference”). When it comes to love, however, all debts feel paid as soon as they are incurred. She does things for her beloved because she cares for them, expecting nothing in return. Sure, she’ll complain about the effort, but it doesn’t really bother her, and she truly hopes her lover knows that.

Mother Miranda:

Primary Love Language: Acts of Service

Secondary Love Language: Gift Giving

Examples: Despite the decades she has spent as a Goddess, commanding the willing masses, Miranda doesn’t put much emphasis on words. Instead, she values actions above all else. She doesn't care if someone says that they are devoted to her, she wants to see the effects of that devotion. In turn, she much prefers to show her affection rather than voice it, even if it leaves her lover less sure of her feelings. One must keep in mind that she is the leader of an entire region, and the fact that she chooses to personally take care of something for you means a hell of a lot. Even if it’s just making you a cup of tea whenever she brews some for herself, or something as big as setting up a studio for you and your personal projects, or simply ensuring that your favorite meals are added to the rotation.

Similar, in some aspects, to her preference to showcase her love rather than announce it, Miranda takes pride in her ability to select gifts. She remembers just about everything you ever tell her, easily memorizing things you express interest in. Though she won’t make a big deal out of it, you’ll often find little gifts from her lying around, casual reminders of how much of her attention is devoted to you.

Daniela Dimitrescu:

Primary Love Language: Words of Affirmation

Secondary Love Language: Physical Touch

Examples: What can she say, she loves to be worshipped. Having someone look at her with eyes full of adoration, one hand cupping her cheek, as they list a thousand reasons why they love her? That’s all she wants. Or sitting with her lover’s head in her lap, listening to them recite poetry that reminds them of her, while she runs her fingers through their hair. Ooh, or hearing them cry out her name like something holy as she all but buries her head between their legs. But don’t worry, she’s just as eager to return the favor, singing soft praises dedicated to her beloved. Admittedly, her compliments are sometimes a tad roundabout (so to speak).

“Mmm,” she’ll hum, “I’m the luckiest woman in the world. Living in a castle, my every need catered to, endless life, and, of course, the most darling little pet I could ever ask for. What more could I want?” Then she’ll pull her lover close, a kiss against their pulse point to claim them as her own. It’s impossible for her to determine her favorite place to touch her lover. There are little spots that elicit sweet sounds from them, then there are places where their warmth is a tad fiercer than normal, pure bliss against her own freezing skin. Wherever she touches them, it’s a silent declaration of her love.

Bela Dimitrescu:

Primary Love Language: Quality Time

Secondary Love Language: Words of Affirmation

Examples: It doesn’t matter what she does with her lover, as long as they are together, in the same room if not actively pressed against each other. Any hobby of theirs is one that she’ll instantly take interest in. An academic at heart, she loves to learn, regardless of the subject, and takes endless delight in learning from those close to her. There’s something incredible about the feeling she gets when she gets a chance to show her lover how much she remembers, and she sees that spark of joy in their eyes.

Considering her fondness for classical literature, it’s no surprise that she adores using language to convey the depths of her affection. Whether she’s quoting Sappho or Shakespeare, she often relies on dead poets to express herself. In turn, she cannot even begin to describe the feeling she gets when her lover returns the gesture, especially if they go so far as to write something original for her. More than once she’s tried to craft her own poetry, but has found herself lacking (at least to her own standards). One thing she enjoys is memorizing poetry written by someone from her lover’s home country, assuming that they’re not from Romania.

Alcina Dimitrescu:

Primary Love Language: Gift Giving/Physical Touch

Secondary Love Language: Quality Time

Examples: Considering the era in which she was born, it’s not terribly surprising that Alcina’s affection often manifests in less obvious ways. A hand on her lover’s back, guiding them along, or letting her knee touch theirs when they sit next to each other, or gently reaching out to give one of their hands a soft pat during quiet conversations. On top of that, she gives out gifts almost constantly. Oh, her lover very briefly mentioned enjoying a local artist? Well, Alcina will be certain to purchase several (or most) of their recent work. Did her beloved muse out loud about not having much jewelry? That won’t do! She’ll get them a large assortment, including plenty that bear the crest of House Dimitrescu. Everyone will know who her lover is, if only for the way that they are adorned with her loveliest finery.

Much like her eldest daughter (who likely takes after her mother), Alcina also enjoys the barest of interactions with her darling. With the endless stretch that is her potential lifespan, she knows that she has all the time in the world to learn new skills, or experience all that the village has to offer. Nothing warms her heart quite like the idea of getting to enjoy those things with the people that matter most to her- namely her partner and her children.

Donna Beneviento:

Primary Love Language: Quality Time

Secondary Love Language: Gift Giving

Examples: An odd mix of shy and calculating, Donna Beneviento is not one to rely on words, nor does she often take grand actions where others may observe. Instead, she works (and weaves) within the shadows. When it comes to love, she prefers to let her priorities reveal her feelings. Day after day, she chooses to spend time with her partner, regardless of the activity. If they ask for her company, she gives it without hesitation. She invites them to join her in the garden, or give input on her latest creations, and ensures that they are readily involved in just about every aspect of her life.

Being as talented as she is with crafting (both the overall art of doll-making and the somewhat related ability to sew all sorts of clothing), ‘tis not surprising that she also turns to gifts to express herself. From knitting hats in winter to soft blankets when her partner is sick, she provides for them in the easiest way she knows how.

Avaskian Caldwell:

Primary Love Language: Physical Touch/Words of Affirmation

Secondary Love Language: Quality Time

Examples: Arguably the most touch-starved person ever to exist, xer only possible rival being Cassandra. Struggles to strike a balance between hating being touched unexpectedly and wanting constant physical attention. Will give affectionate shoulder/back pats, loves forehead kisses/bumps, literally cannot sleep without cuddling someone/something (such as a stuffed animal). At the same time, a lifetime of severe anxiety has made it so that xe often relies on verbal encouragement from others to feel good/motivate xerself. Xe craves compliments, and defaults to poetry as a way of expressing love for others. One might think that being selectively mute might put a damper on this. However, if anything, it just furthers the value of xer speech. You know that xe cares about you if xe not only writes you poetry, but reads it aloud for you.

In true introvert/anxiety-riddled-bean fashion, Ava is also more than content to just chill with loved ones. Xe grew up in an admittedly fucked up family, but some of xer happiest childhood memories are of xerself sitting with xer brother, watching while he played through videogame after videogame, or sitting together on the big couch and reading. Years later, xe has a strong instinct to want to recreate those moments with xer new (slightly less fucked up) family.

[gffa]

Do you think one could follow the Jedi Code/Lifestyle in real life as a positive manner of living or do you think it only works in Star Wars? I asked this on r/Mawinstallation and the answers I got were either:

''The Jedi code is oppressive so no'' ( this was the most upvoted answer )

''The Jedi code works but only for the Jedi''

''The Jedi code requires the force to work and since the force doesn't exist in the real world, the code cannot work''

And finally, I got only a single reply that said

''Yes, the Jedi code does work in real life, that's the entire point of Star Wars''.

What is your take on this?

This is going to be sort of a long, roundabout answer, but the short version is: In the finer details, we're not space psychics, but as a general idea? Yes. First of all, what even IS the Jedi Code?  Are we talking about the whole “there is no emotion, there is peace”/”emotion, yet peace” meditation mantra, which we should point out is nowhere in the movies or TV shows, but is entirely in the novels and comics supplementary material?  Are we talking about a more generalized idea of Jedi philosophy?  And what, precisely, does that mean?  I mean, what’s oppressive about it and what scene evidences that that’s what the Jedi taught? Second, there are two talks that George Lucas gave that I think really illustrate this view of emotional navigation and how that impacts Star Wars and the Force: There’s the writers meeting of The Clone Wars where he talks about the light side and the dark side and there’s an Academy of Achievement Speech from 2013 where he talks about joy vs pleasure:     “Happiness is pleasure and happiness is joy. It can be either one, you add them up and it can be the uber category of happiness.     “Pleasure is short lived. It lasts an hour, it lasts a minute, it lasts a month. It peaks and then it goes down–it peaks very high, but the next time you want to get that same peak you have to do it twice as much. It’s like drugs, you have to keep doing it because it insulates itself. No matter what it is, whether you’re shopping or you’re engaged in any other kind of pleasure. It all has the same quality about it.     “On the other hand is joy and joy is the thing that doesn’t go as high as pleasure, in terms of your emotional reaction. But it stays with you. Joy is something you can recall, pleasure you can’t.  So the secret is that, even though it’s not as intense as pleasure, the joy will last you a lot longer.     “People who get the pleasure they keep saying, ‘Well, if I can just get richer and get more cars–!’ You’ll never relive the moment you got your first car, that’s it, that’s the highest peak. Yes, you could get three Ferraris and a new gulf stream jet and maybe you’ll get close. But you have to keep going and eventually you’ll run out.  You just can’t do it, it doesn’t work.     “If you’re trying to sustain that level of peak pleasure, you’re doomed. It’s a very American idea, but it just can’t happen. You just let it go. Peak.  Break. Pleasure is fun it’s great, but you can’t keep it going forever.     “Just accept the fact that it’s here and it’s gone, and maybe again it’ll come back and you’ll get to do it again. Joy lasts forever. Pleasure is purely self-centered. It’s all about your pleasure, it’s about you. It’s a selfish self-centered emotion, that’s created by self-centered motive of greed.     “Joy is compassion, joy is giving yourself to somebody else or something else. And it’s the kind of thing that is in it’s subtlty and lowness more powerful than pleasure.  If you get hung up on pleasure you’re doomed. If you pursue joy you will find everlasting happiness.”  –George Lucas And how I like to compare that to The Hijacking of the American Mind by Robert Lustig, MD, MSL, which is a book about how corporations have hijacked our pleasure centers to make us focused on reward over pleasure.  It talks about the exact same concepts, with only slight word adjustments, but otherwise might as well be verbatim: “At this point it’s essential to define and clarify what I mean by these two words—pleasure and happiness—which can mean different things to different people.     “Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines “pleasure” as “enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one’s liking”; or “gratification”; or “reward.” While “pleasure” has a multitude of synonyms, it is this phenomenon of reward that we will explore, as scientists have elaborated a specific “reward pathway” in the brain, and we now understand the neuroscience of its regulation. Conversely, “happiness” is defined as “the quality or state of being happy”; or “joy”; or “contentment.” While there are many synonyms for “happiness,” it is the phenomenon that Aristotle originally referred to as eudemonia, or the internal experience of contentment, that we will parse in this book. Contentment is the lowest baseline level of happiness, the state in which it’s not necessary to seek more. In the movie Lovers and Other Strangers (1970), middle-aged married couple Beatrice Arthur and Richard Castellano were asked the question “Are you happy?”—to which they responded, “Happy? Who’s happy? We’re content.” Scientists now understand that there is a specific “contentment pathway” that is completely separate from the pleasure or reward pathway in the brain and under completely different regulation. Pleasure (reward) is the emotional state where your brain says, This feels good—I want more, while happiness (contentment) is the emotional state where your brain says, This feels good—I don’t want or need any more.     “Reward and contentment are both positive emotions, highly valued by humans, and both reasons for initiative and personal betterment. It’s hard to be happy if you derive no pleasure for your efforts—but this is exactly what is seen in the various forms of addiction. Conversely, if you are perennially discontent, as is so often seen in patients with clinical depression, you may lose the impetus to better your social position in life, and it’s virtually impossible to derive reward for your efforts. Reward and contentment rely on the presence of the other. Nonetheless, they are decidedly different phenomena. Yet both have been slowly and mysteriously vanishing from our global ethos as the prevalence of addiction and depression continues to climb.     “Drumroll … without further ado, behold the seven differences between reward and contentment: Reward is short-lived (about an hour, like a good meal). Get it, experience it, and get over it. Why do you think you can’t remember what you ate for dinner yesterday? Conversely, contentment lasts much longer (weeks to months to years). It’s what happens when you have a working marriage or watch your teenager graduate from high school. And if you experience contentment from a sense of achievement or purpose, the chances are that you will feel it for a long time to come, perhaps even the rest of your life.Reward is visceral in terms of excitement (e.g., a casino, a football game, or a strip club). It activates the body’s fight-or-flight system, which causes blood pressure and heart rate to go up. Conversely, contentment is ethereal and calming (e.g., listening to soothing music or watching the waves of the ocean). It makes your heart rate slow and your blood pressure decline.       - “ Reward can be achieved with different substances (e.g., heroin, nicotine, cocaine, caffeine, alcohol, and of course sugar). Each stimulates the reward center of the brain. Some are legal, some are not. Conversely, contentment is not achievable with substance use. Rather, contentment is usually achieved with deeds (like graduating from college or having a child who can navigate his or her own path in life).       - “Reward occurs with the process of taking (like from a casino). Gambling is definitely a high: when you win, it is fundamentally rewarding, both viscerally and economically. But go back to the same table the next day. Maybe you’ll feel a jolt of excitement to try again. But there’s no glow, no lasting feeling from the night before. Or go buy a nice dress at Macy’s. Then try it on again a month later. Does it generate the same enthusiasm? Conversely, contentment is often generated through giving (like giving money to a charity, or giving your time to your child, or devoting time and energy to a worthwhile project).       - Reward is yours and yours alone. Your sense of reward does not immediately impact anyone else. Conversely, your contentment, or lack of it, often impacts other people directly and can impact society at large. Those who are extremely unhappy (the Columbine shooters) can take their unhappiness out on others. It should be said at this point that pleasure and happiness are by no means mutually exclusive. A dinner at the Bay Area Michelin three-star restaurant the French Laundry can likely generate simultaneous pleasure for you from the stellar food and wine but can also generate contentment from the shared experience with spouse, family, or friends, and then possibly a bit of unhappiness when the bill arrives.       - Reward when unchecked can lead us into misery, like addiction. Too much substance use (food, drugs, nicotine, alcohol) or compulsive behaviors (gambling, shopping, surfing the internet, sex) will overload the reward pathway and lead not just to dejection, destitution, and disease but not uncommonly death as well. Conversely, walking in the woods or playing with your grandchildren or pets (as long as you don’t have to clean up after them) could bring contentment and keep you from being miserable in the first place.       - Last and most important, reward is driven by dopamine, and contentment by serotonin. Each is a neurotransmitter—a biochemical manufactured in the brain that drives feelings and emotions—but the two couldn’t be more different. Although dopamine and serotonin drive separate brain processes, it is where they overlap and how they influence each other that generates the action in this story. Two separate chemicals, two separate brain pathways, two separate regulatory schemes, and two separate physiological and psychological outcomes. How and where these two chemicals work, and how they work either in concert or in opposition to each other, is the holy grail in the ultimate quest for both pleasure and happiness.”                                – Robert Lustig, MD, MSL And then lets add in what Dave Filoni has said about the Force and the core themes of Star Wars:     "In the end, it’s about fundamentally becoming selfless moreso than selfish.  It seems so simple, but it’s so hard to do.  And when you’re tempted by the dark side, you don’t overcome it once in life and then you’re good.  It’s a constant.  And that’s what, really, Star Wars is about and what I think George wanted people to know.  That to be a good person and to really feel better about your life and experience life fully you have to let go of everything you fear to lose. Because then you can’t be controlled.        “But when you fear, fear is the path to the dark side, it’s also the shadow of greed, because greed makes you covet things, greed makes you surround yourself with all these things that make you feel comfortable in the moment, but they don’t really make you happy.  And then, when you’re afraid of something, it makes you angry, when you get angry, you start to hate something, sometimes you don’t even know why.  When you hate, do you often know why you hate?  No, you direct it at things and then you hate it.  And it’s hard because anger can be a strength at times, but you can’t use it in such a selfish way, it can be a destroyer then.        “These are the core things of Star Wars.“  –Dave Filoni So, the core things of Star Wars and the Jedi teachings (because Jedi teachings are basically almost word for word how GL described how the Force works) can very much be a reflection of real world teachings and ways to live by, because all of the above are about how GL viewed the world and what he wanted to put into his movies. Further, Jedi teachings are basically just reworded Buddhism + Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.  And both of those are very livable by our real world standards, if you so choose.  GL was very much about how SW had themes that were meant to be picked up on by the audience and even DF has said this:  “ Jedi have the ability to turn the tide, to make a significant moment, to give hope where there’s none.  That’s their ultimate role to play, to be this example of selflessness.  And that’s what makes them a hero, when no one else can match that heroic thing.  And then our job is to emulate that, to use that example, and further our own lives.” --Dave Filoni Ultimately, the Jedi are specifically focused on disciplining themselves (which GL has said is the only way to overcome the dark side, in that TCW writers’ meeting), probably to a degree most of us wouldn’t have the room to devote to, but that doesn’t mean that the broader strokes aren’t meant to be applicable to our lives or don’t echo real world teachings.

[phantaloon-books]

Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:

Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much

Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october

Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)

nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy

solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.

will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is

WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.

also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.

meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.

dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get

nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus

rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic

meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me

also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too

again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn

but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.

rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help

apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection

the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband

sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life

none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"

(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)

the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow

nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy

y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.

the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.

poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore

athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr

lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything

Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"

"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.

(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)

kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body

the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun

really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing

apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal

also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win

getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last

kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional

the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.

I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember

[ramblingguy54]

Sonic & Tails R: A Love Letter To Miles Tails Prower’s Characterization

     Warning: This will contain massive spoilers for the short radio play series of Sonic & Tails R. If you haven’t listened to the radio play yet on Youtube, I’d highly recommend any hardcore Sonic fan who hasn’t seen it check it out. It’s one Hell of a treat.

     For as far back as I can remember in my childhood, Tails’ story of trying to step outta Sonic’s shadow has been such a resonating one for myself. Even when I was a much younger kid playing my Dreamcast, during entries like Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, there was some idea lingering about why Tails just stood out more emotionally in his journey to grow beyond depending on Sonic all the time for help. Now here I am a young adult in my late twenties having such a deeper appreciation of this little two tailed genius kiddo because he’s got an important element that’s made him so beloved for good reason.

     In spite of his genius being a rival to that of Eggman’s high IQ and of course proving to surpass it plenty of times when scenarios boil down to being a high stakes battle, Miles Tails Prower beneath it all is still just like any one of us. We’re all trying to find our place in this world about what defines us for who we are as unique people. He wants to be more than just seen as someone who’s alongside Sonic The Hedgehog’s never say die attitude, but prove he’s plenty capable of standing on his own two feet to protect everything the kid holds dear to himself. Underdog stories, when they’re naturally executed very well, can reel me in so easily. They are very much my bread & butter trope I adore seeing.

     To no one’s surprise, the two Sonic Adventure’s iterations portrayal of Tails’ characterization are hands down some of my favorite writing for the two tailed fox, regarding what the 3D era has done toward him, development wise. It gave him more of an existential struggle to endure like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t around to help stop Eggman? What if I’m not strong enough to accomplish what he can?”, making Tails plight to be seen as an equal all the more endearing when stopping Eggman in his climatic battle against the Egg Walker in Station Square. This here is a great use of a timeless lesson you can apply in life that if you set you heart and mind on anything, there isn’t a thing you can’t accomplish on your own, which is why many fell in love with Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s writing for Miles Tails Prower’s journey of independence.

     As someone who comes from a large family tree of relatives, I feel the weight of my existence on my shoulders at a number of points more than I’d care to count, admittedly. Seeing Tails struggle with his sense of purpose, in contrast to observing how much Sonic has accomplished with his carefree, yet deeply compassionate attitude, means the world to me in watching another trying to comprehend their value as a whole on how much they matter, overall. This is a big part of why my fondness for SA1 & 2′s quality has never wavered over these years, besides still obviously enjoying most of their game play mechanics. People can try to debate to their heart’s content on whether the Adventure games still hold up in their own eyes, but I’ll always respect them for how they tried to develop certain characters, such as Tails, Gamma, and Shadow The Hedgehog notably, to attempt expanding upon their characters, as well as world building.

     I won’t bother going into a rant about how Sonic’s recent 3D games have butchered Tails’ personality & relatable nature, due to the current writers in charge of handling the cast of characters. More or less, I greatly empathize toward the notion many have already stated about Tails being so cowardly and God forbid, looking at Lost World, downright severely mean spirited. Rather, I’m obviously writing this lengthy post to breakdown why Sonic & Tails R succeeds, where these certain 3D games have greatly faltered in exploring Tails’ emotional dilemmas as an insecure, yet still having the courage to prove himself, talented boy full of hidden potential he doesn’t quite realize, until his back is against the wall in life threatening situations.

“That day, I realized I couldn’t depend on you forever. Not that I can’t depend on you, but like, “What happens when Sonic isn’t here?”, you know?”

     Sonic & Tails R further delves into this fundamental rule of what has defined Tails in Sonic Adventure 1 & 2′s stories of events where Sonic wasn’t there to aid his best bud in taking down Eggman’s evil efforts for global domination, most importantly his fear of defending the Earth without his role model. Besides what I already stated in SA1′s events in Station where he stopped the Egg Walker, as well as the missile Eggman launched from detonating before their climatic battle, Tails watched Sonic blow up in ARK’s capsule presuming him to be dead after Sonic imparted how much faith he has in the kid’s abilities to be truly strong in the face of any foe. Sonic & Tails R manages to use fan service in a way that doesn’t feel like “pandering” for the sake of it, using this past canon material to do more of an in-depth study about Miles’ anxieties of existing without Sonic.

     Wouldn’t put it past them if EmuEmi & crew were using SA2′s Sonic death fake out scene in that space capsule to further add trauma to Tails’ psychological attachment to Sonic, as well as his insecurities of depending on him too much, to boot. While it’s never obviously outright stated in their radio play, I definitely believe they were factoring this element into adding dramatic exploration for why Tails is so self-conscious about the worst case scenario of permanently losing Sonic. Watching Sonic supposedly die put Tails into a deeper state of self-reflection, so I very much enjoyed how they went using these past events to create a thorough exploration about him learning just as it’s important to realize you need to stand up for yourself without using someone else as a crutch all the time, it’s doubly important to remember there’s nothing wrong about asking someone for help when you’re about to be down and out with little options left.

     Sonic & Tails R beautifully builds upon the foundation these two games’ stories left behind years ago, creating new damn great material to explore with the most iconic characters of this cast, Sonic & Tails brotherly dynamic. I’ve been praising Sonic & Tails R out the wazoo for how well it captured Tails underdog story of overcoming death defying odds, but it managed to remind me how simply adorable and outright wonderfully endearing their brotherly chemistry is as a whole. This is a big friendly reminder Sonic isn’t all about being cocky wise cracking character making meta jokes left and right, but he can be plenty capable of showing serious compassion to anyone he values as an ally and friend. This is no greater evident, than with him verbally lifting Tails up in his time of need when he’s self-depreciating his own significance. It can be seen in Episodes 2, 4, and 7 giving Tails motivational pieces of advice.

    Episode 2 In Adabat’s Cavern

-Sonic: Wasn’t it your radar that helped us find these Emerald shards in the first place? How could you be slowing us down when you’ve gotten us this far?

-Tails: But, I...

-Sonic: I could never make something like that. You’re the smartest person I know, Tails. One way or another, we’ll figure this out, count on it.

         Episode 4 In Holoska After Helping Silver Save The Chao

-Sonic: So, what was that back there? At the cave, in Adabat? -Tails: What do you mean? -Sonic: Frozen stiff. Confidence shot. It’s not like you. It was more than feeling like you were “slowing us down”, right?

        Episode 7 Inside The Egg Carrier 3

-Sonic: Let’s split up! I’ll distract them and you can go after the energy source. -Tails: You’re gonna take them on all by yourself!? Let me help, Sonic! -Sonic: No time for this, Tails. Stop overthinking and just go! If I can get their attention, I’ll take the heat off of you and that room you’re going to probably won’t have any security. Take this emerald and I’ll take the other one we have. It’ll lead me right to you after I beat these guys. -Tails: O-Okay... -Sonic: Hold on, Tails! Listen to me. Don’t stop moving and be careful. I’ll be fine and so will you!

     Sonic & Tails R remembers the most crucial detail of their important relationship. One isn’t better than the other and needing to always rely upon that notion for helping one outta a jam, but instead showcases how they’re equals as a team/bros. Sonic may be super fast and strong, however Tails has his intelligence to analyze situations in a different angle Sonic wouldn’t necessarily consider, per say. Which isn’t to say Tails couldn’t put up a fight either, as we’ve seen in SA1 & SA2′s stories where he faced Eggman one on one with no outside help to best him at his own game of wits & strength.

     We get see the apex of this idea through Tails facing Eggman in his super improved mecha walker. Although Tails may get thrown for a loop here at first by Eggman, it’s his villainous speech about winners and losers in their world that ironically does the exact opposite of what he intended. Eggman wanted to crush Tails’ sense of self worth before finishing him off, but all it did was reignite the very lesson Sonic told him earlier before running to distract Eggman’s robotic minions. That said lesson of he’s more than capable of facing dangerous threats

-Eggman: Poor boy. We all have to learn this lesson, sooner or later. In every game there’s no one you can depend on. You’re all alone and you’re either a winner, or a loser. And as you know, loser’s lose all of their lives. Say goodbye, fox!

-Tails: You’re wrong! I can depend Sonic! I won’t let him down! I can’t because...Because he’s depending on me! And because of that I won’t lose to you!

     This radio play strikes a good balance in utilizing the grey moral area about depending on someone vs it being an unhealthy display of attachment derived from serious insecurity. Word’s can’t begin to describe how much I loved this moment to pieces because it’s oh so important for writing Tails’ characterization. If you’re going to tackle him being super self conscious about his reliance on Sonic, then you gotta remember why they are so close to one another to begin with. Sonic & Tails have an unbreakable connection, considering they’ve brought out their best qualities in themselves from being together as individuals. For Sonic, it’s his older brother compassion to Tails to bring him outta feeling melancholy. For Tails, the kid finally understands there isn’t anything wrong with depending on Sonic when he needs it most.

     After all, that’s what a real healthy friendship is all about. Whether you’re giving someone a dose of tough love, or simply a piece of motivational advice, it defines how much you truly care about someone, period. Sonic & Tails have this very same power from their bond, which is why new emeralds form from their compassionate friendship that hasn’t been shaken after all the years they’ve been together. Another detail worth noting is it adds to the lore in an impactful manner when Tikal expresses in Episode 8 about positive connections and thoughts from users of the Chaos Emeralds having a strong will & heart. Using the ideas they had for encapsulating Sonic & Tails’ dynamic to create new emeralds from their love for each other as brothers adds an emotional weight.

“So, Sonic’s not the only one who harness the power of the Chaos Emeralds? I can too!?”

“Yes, you have a strong heart! There is a power waiting to be unlocked within you, as well.”

          I’d always daydreamed about in my childhood seeing Super Sonic & Tails take down a threatening villain, whether it was Eggman or different powerful creature such as Chaos or the Biolizard. You can imagine how fucking giddy I was beyond belief to see this artwork of Episode 9′s cover for the radio play. Tails not only got to have another one on one with Eggman, but a team up with Super Sonic in his own respective Super form? Sign me the Hell up! Talk about an all you eat buffet of good writing for Tails’ journey reaching its climax. Getting to hear this play out, alongside the amazing song of Fly With Me, made it authentically feel like something straight outta if there were an installment of Sonic Adventure 3 being brought into reality, which certainly feels like it now.

     Episode 9 has so much awesome stuff with Sonic & Tails working together in their super forms. Particularly, my favorite scene is at the beginning when Sonic teaches Tails how to navigate his newly acquired speed in his respective Super form. My heart melted hearing Sonic help Tails through it all, while he was overjoyed about how fun this new form is for himself. Wholesome Sonic & Tails content is the perfect daily serotonin for me, easily. It’s an awesome fun fact to know they used a scrapped boss from Tails Tornado segment in SA1 for Eggman’s flying dragon three headed robot in their big final battle, once again using old canon material in a very effective manner to boost the quality of their fan made story.

     It’s been a real thrill to hear Mike Pollock play a straight forward serious Eggman making my day in more ways than one, considering that’s another thing I’ve been yearning for desperately besides Tails being a competent character again. His performance in Episode 9 when Eggman gave that speech about how long he’s been at odds with Sonic & Tails stubborn will power was simply excellent. The moment he told his mechanical dragon to crush them I got serious chills. That’s the Eggman I remember and grew up with. He could be a hammy villain sure, but Eggman wasn’t a doormat that could be swiftly beaten. Robotnik can be considered a serious threat in his own right and this radio play nailed it down to the very letter with how much he predicted their actions.

“Sonic, all I ever wanted to do was be like you. You’re not scared of anyone or anything. I could never be like that. At least, so I thought. I grew from that, but then I got so caught up in trying to prove it that thought it wasn’t okay to depend upon anyone, especially you. I just didn’t want to be that scared little kid in Station Square anymore, but now I understand. It’s okay to depend on your friends. It all means is that we’re stronger together, so the next time Eggman comes back and wants to start any trouble with you, or any of my friends. Emeralds or no emeralds, he’s gonna have to get past me and he won’t!”

Sonic By Episode 1′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here we come!

Tails By Episode 10′s End: Aww, yeah! Adventure, here I come!

Turn your thoughts into power. Be all that you can be.

     The ending legit got me choked up because what of they decided to do for wrapping up Tails journey in a poetic fashion. Having Tails go off on his own separate journey to grow more independence pulled on my heart strings perfectly. Very much so, as I’m transitioning slowly, but surely, into gaining more freedom to go out into the outside world in my own life. Concluding the story, by Sonic & Tails holding onto the two Emeralds their bond had formed from positive energy, due to their powerful friendship, was so heartwarming. This is how you write an overview of what makes Sonic & Tails chemistry work so well as it does.

     Sonic & Tails R’s ending represents while some things never change, like Sonic and Tails bond for each other, it also shows there’s very much a necessity for people to grow, hence Tails’ whole solo journey in the epilogue. People can’t stay in the same place forever and will need go about finding their own path, even if it means saying “goodbye” periodically for a notable amount of time.

     It’s for these reasons I’ve listed in great explanation above throughout this detailed post cement Sonic & Tails R high on my list of favorite Sonic fan projects. They captured the magic of what made the Adventure games so beloved. Gonna be looking back on this passion project for many years to come. Everyone involved in this year long effort of a project dating all the way back Summer of 2020 ought to be immensely proud for how much their hard efforts paid off in the long run.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts here! 

Hope you enjoyed. 

[ofgentleresolve-a]

@jeoseungsaja​ sent in:

He's busy rearranging his brushes, taking note of which ones need some cleaning and which ones can be saved in the case right away. Hyuk only lets his gaze break away from items when he hears his dear friend coming into the small corner of his art space, eyes lifting to watch Patrick add some last details to his outfit. He's supposed to go to some sort of academic event, isn't he? Hyuk remembers Patrick told him something about it.

These last details are nothing out of the ordinary, really. Just Patrick buttoning the cuffs of his button down. Nothing out of the ordinary...and yet, Hyuk's heart skips a beat; enough for his movements to freeze and for the brush between fingertips to fall on the floor.

He blinks, gulping and coming to his senses; leaning down to pick up the brush in a hurry --- wrong move, because when he tries to lift his head, he hits it against the table.

"Yah-aish---" A low hiss before fully standing up, waving his hand in dismissal and placing the brush atop wooden surface. "I'm alright, it didn't hurt---" It does hurt a little, but he's willing to swallow the ache than getting all embarrassed about it.

It's when he fully adjusts that he notices something's off. "Ah, wait, your--"

The detective gets closer to Patrick, takes note of shirt's collar. It's crooked; part of it still oddly tucked under his sweater vest. Instead of verbally telling him about it, Hyuk takes matters into his own hands; fingers reaching out and carefully rearranging the professor's shirt. He even leans in a little, focused on the task; unfolding and pressing collar where it should be.

"There, you had---" Looking up, he notices how dangerously close he is. He can see everything better from here. Patrick's pleasant eyes, the details of his nose, the prepossessing and inviting shape of his lips --- why did his gaze stop right there? Why is his heart doing somersaults? Why is his mind wondering things that perhaps it shouldn't?

Hyuk clears his throat and looks away, temperature climbing up his neck as both of his hands get pressed against Patrick's shoulders; patting them both and unconsciously letting his palms affectionately slide down his dear friend's chest before completely letting go. He hopes Patrick didn't take note of him staring.

"Your collar was crooked. Uh...what time are you going to that thing again?"

(Now here's Hyuk, getting flustered over Patrick's attractiveness---IUWHEDIUWEHUEHD I HOPE THIS IS OKAY, feel free to skip this oR ANY ASK if it's uncomfortable or anything of the sort!! Please have a wonderful day, Ferre!! :D) || they keep toeing the line 👀 ( ft. unprompted )

This is technically the reason he’s in Seoul right now, isn’t it? A conference that his university’s sister school is hosting and therefore, as a representative of the Literature Department, he’s supposed to be giving a speech. Perhaps this is why he initially let Dr. Towell volunteer first, despite the desire that welled up to see his dear friend at that moment. Of course, the research component of his work is important and the main reason he became a professor in the first place, but between interacting with his colleagues and his students, Patrick has found the latter to be much more…pleasant in these recent years.

Never mind the prestige that might come with being nominated faculty member of the year or even head of the department, Patrick is more than CONTENT with his place in the pecking order. It’s not like any of these awards change the quality of his research or even how he teaches anyways. The title is really just a formal means of assigning extra if not superfluous duties.

Such as public speaking. Oh, put the good professor in a classroom and he’s golden- his students are more often than not sharper than given credit for. If they say they learn so much from Professor Grace, then Patrick may say the same about them. But put him in front of a crowd and well-

“You really don’t have to go, Hyuk.” He reminds his dear friend as he wanders into Hyuk’s art space. Perhaps he is being BIASED, but this little corner of his dear friend’s apartment happens to be Patrick’s favorite spot. For one thing, there’s a tad more sunlight that makes its way into the room, more sunlight to douse Hyuk in while he paints.

( And in Patrick’s opinion, his dear friend looks the most beautiful best in the sunlight. Why else would Hyuk be a SUNSET then? )

“I won’t be saying anything special- I’ll just be reading off of notecards.” Which should be easy enough. Not to mention he already translated Dr. Towell’s speech. Save for a few pointers of his own, most of these words are not his own. Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop the dread that gnaws on his nerves. He’s never been one for public speaking, truly. He might be good at it, according to his colleagues, but that doesn’t mean Patrick necessarily enjoys it, especially not the preceding moments.

Perhaps this is why he’ll never rise higher than a tenured professor.

But then again, he also rather dislikes formal events, such as the one he’s attending. He’s just lucky academic events usually don’t mandate black-tie formal attire. “I’ll have to be there for the lectures, but I should be able to duck out once we get to the reception.” Hyuk would understand, right? The formal functions he gets invited to probably aren’t much better��no actually, they might be worse considering that those are almost always black-tie formal. Hyuk can’t get away with not wearing a tie.

But then again, Hyuk’s never been one to go to such events out of OBLIGATION, is he?

Sleeves folded at the elbows, Patrick sets about unfurling them to button them at the cuffs. He peers up at his dear friend, who is currently reorganizing his paintbrushes, in between buttoning.

It’s such an ordinary act, really, and yet Patrick can’t help but smile softly, pieces of warmth blooming out of nowhere. That’s strange- it’s not like he hasn’t seen Hyuk do it before, but then again, anything Hyuk does these days ( outside of getting injured of course- Patrick would prefer not to have a repeat of two days ago ), Patrick can’t help but look on in fondness. He’s been doing a lot of that this week it seems- watching Hyuk when he thinks his dear friend isn’t looking. A guilty pleasure, perhaps, considering that it’s not something he can do all that often, but it makes him feel warm in all the right spots.

( Perhaps Patrick should ask himself why this has been the case. Or maybe he should look a little harder to notice his dear friend has been guilty of the same exact activity. )

With one of the sleeves down, he lets out a puff of annoyance when his fingers fumble with the buttons there. This is why he prefers folding the sleeves once or even twice. “Perhaps we could get bungeoppang from Mrs. Nam on the way back? Didn’t you also mention wanting to drop by their studio- we could get food for them too-“

He’s just about to button the cuffs on his other sleeve when he hears something clatter on the floor. And then something heavier bang against the desk. Patrick looks up in alarm to find his dear friend, crouching and clutching his head with one hand. He must have hit his head against the desk.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to get you an ice pack?”

And of course, Hyuk brushes his concerns aside, but that isn’t going to stop Patrick from gingerly running his fingers over the spot Hyuk hit his head. Despite the loudness of the crash, it doesn’t seem like Hyuk hit his head too hard- at the very least there doesn’t seem to be any bruising or bleeding of any sort. Without thinking too hard about it, Patrick lets his fingers comb through his dear friend’s hair. It’s slightly damp, probably from the shower his dear friend took the hour before, but SMOOTH. Very smooth-

And then the next thing he realizes, his dear friend is leaning into him and Patrick freezes, hand hovering where Hyuk’s head used to be. It only drops when he realizes Hyuk’s hands are pressing delicately against his shirt.

Patrick swallows, heartbeat speeding up. Oh, that’s NEW ( but wait, is it though? For some reason he feels a sense of déjà vu…of more than a few moments in these past few months- ). It’s not like they haven’t been this close in proximity before, but then why is he only noticing the closeness now? Why is he only noticing how gentle his dear friend’s hands are, handling his shirt? Those hands that have weathered more than their fair share of ( unfair ) violence, those hands that strike a delicate balance between justice and mercy, those hands that are almost always closed off to everyone else, choose to be TENDER with Patrick of all people-

And then Hyuk pulls back, face still close to Patrick’s, and Patrick still feels his feet planted in the same spot as he watches his dear friend’s face. His cheeks feel warm suddenly but Patrick can’t bring himself to look away, even if that means following the path of Hyuk’s eyes to- no. No, it can’t be-

Patrick’s breath hitches as his fingers twitch. He’s been OVERTHINKING this, hasn’t he, assuming he was the only one, the only one thinking and wondering if they really are only friends, if there’s been something else on top of twenty years’ worth of friendship.

But he can’t focus on that right now. Not when there’s also suddenly an urge to cup his dear friend’s cheeks and lean in and press his lips against Hyuk’s enticing pair- but wait, would that be too forward-

And then the moment ends and Patrick lets out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding when Hyuk clears his throat. A crooked collar, he said- but then Patrick drops that line of thought for the same warm, tender pair of hands that slide down his chest, and god Patrick really doesn’t want those hands to leave again-

Before Hyuk can let his hands drop to his side, Patrick catches one with his own. His fingers cradle around Hyuk’s own before Patrick freezes. Wait, what is he doing-

He doesn’t let go. Patrick swallows instead forcing himself for once to keep eye contact. Even if he feels like he’s been set on fire.

“I-In an hour or so.” He answers. He notices the cuff of his sleeve is still unbuttoned.  “Um…Could you help me with the other cuff?” He squeezes Hyuk’s fingers. They’re WARM; how Patrick wants to press his cheek against them, perhaps something like the other day when Hyuk kissed him on the cheek. “I’m...I’m having trouble with getting the BUTTONS in…”

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers BLOODY BOUQUET Vol.8 Mukami Yuma [Track 1]

Original title: 代わりの印

Source: Diabolik Lovers Bloody Bouquet Vol. 8 Mukami Yuma [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: Make sure to listen to this when you’re almost because things get pretty HOT AND STEAMY over here phew~ I swear Yuma’s voice does things to me. > // < I struggled a lot to translate his speech at first but now that I’m used to it, he’s honestly one of my favorite boys to translate content of because I feel like I can be a little more playful with his dialogue.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1: An Alternative Mark

The two of you return home.

*Thud*

“...Aahー The place was crawlin’ with people, I’m hella beat. There we go...”

He puts down the bags.

*Rustle*

“Oi. Which ones need to be put in the fridge?”

He starts looking through bags as you point out the items.

*Rustle rustle*

“Hm...? Chocolate, jelly...The fuck? It’s just a bunch of sweets! Didn’t I tell ya to put these back? Guess we’ll be good in terms of candy until next month. ...Wait, oi! Are ya even listenin’!?”

You turn your head. 

“Haah...You’re still upset? What so bad ‘bout kissin’ in public? For one, I apologized so fix yer damn mood already.”

You protest.

“Ya really gonna get all flustered when our lips barely even touched? ...It’s not like I went for the lips either. ...Or are you beggin’ for it, perhaps? Guess ya leave me with no other choice. Nn...”

*Smooch*

“Hehehe...Oh come on, stop gettin’ yer panties in a knot. I felt like it so can ya really blame me? ...Besides, aren’t ya actually happy? To have me do with ya as I please? Come on, tell me where ya want it. You want them, don’t ya? My fangs. Right here. ...Or would ya rather go to the bed?”

You start fighting back.

*Rustle rustle*

“...Uwah! Don’t throw a fuss, geez! ...I know! Guess I’ll put away the groceries first then...Come on. Ya better help out as well.”

*Rustle rustle*

*Thud*

“...Aah? The fuck’s this? It’s just a bunch of seasonings. Also, chicken and...eggs? Ah! Ya even managed to sneak in a pot behind my back! No wonder this bag was so heavy!”

You explain.

“Aah...!? It broke? Really? Ahー! So that’s why ya haven’t been makin’ any one pot dishes as of late! In that case, let’s make a stew tonight! I’ll get the ingredients we need from my garden. Hehe...Why don’t you go ahead and take a bath? I bet you’re tired from walkin’ ‘round all day? Then, we can continue where we left off after dinner. Ya better don’t run, ‘kay?”

Yuma walks away.

*TIMESKIP*

*Pssshhhhhhhh*

You turn off the water and get out of the bath as Yuma enters the room.

“...Phew. Hm? Oh. You’re out of the bath?”

You shriek and quickly try to cover up.

*Rustle*

“The fuck’s that reaction? There’s really nothin’ to still be embarrassed ‘bout by this point.”

You ask why he’s here.

“Ah? I just came to wash my hands, that’s all. ...Anyway, why don’t ya start puttin’ on yer clothes instead of just standin’ there nailed to the floor? ...Also, it kind of bothers me how you’re just starin’ at me.”

You explain.

“Haah...? Why does it matter whether I’m here or not. Hurry up and get changed. Or maybe...”

*Rustle*

“Ya want me to do it? ...If that is what ya were hopin’ for, I don’t mind grantin’ said wish?”

Your cheeks flush bright red.

“Come on, move yer hands. I can’t remove the towel when you’re holdin’ onto it that strongly, right?”

You tell him to stop. 

“Too late. I’m not stoppin’ now.”

*Rustle*

“That bein’ said...Your skin really looks delicious per usual. On top of that, it’s covered in my bite marks. ...It really gets me goin’.”

Yuma takes in your scent.

“Ahー Come to think of it. Ya really were the centre of attention at the supermarket earlier.”

You frown, tilting your head to the side. 

“They were all lookin’ at these marks, no? ...Didn’t you notice?”

You blame Yuma.

“Aah? Not my fault. I just couldn’t stop myself yesterday. Besides, ya were havin’ a hell of a good time as well, weren’t ya? Screamin’ on top of yer lungs and all...Nn...”

*Smooch*

“...Heh. Don’t be reactin’ already. Hehehe...Do ya want me? Huh?”

You shake your head.

“...Ya really aren’t honest with yerself. ‘Kay then. I won’t bite ya today. ...But instead...Nn...”

*Smooch*

“Don’t chicken out. I can’t kiss ya like this. Come on, part yer lips a little more. Or do ya want me to pry them open instead, ah?”

You slowly part your lips. 

“Hehe...Great job. Mm...Ya really are my very own exclusive Sow...”

*Smooch*

“Haah...I won’t be able to stop at this rate. ...Imma mark you in a different way than with my fangs. Mmh...”

Yuma leaves a hickey on you.

*Smooch*

“...Phew~ It left a bright red mark. ...This side’s up next then. Nn...”

You protest.

“...Nnhー! Don’t move! I can’t mark ya like this...Nn...”

*Smooch*

“...Actually, this is kinda rough. There’s this high quality blood right in front of me, but I have to abstain.”

Yuma takes a deep breath.

“Haah...It’s the scent of delicious blood.”

You flinch.

“Hm? Just feelin’ my breath on yer skin’s enough to get a reaction out of ya? You’re way too sensitive.”

You protest.

“What? Why do ya look dissatisfied? I’m over here tryin’ my best to hold back ‘cause ya said ya didn’ want to get bitten, remember? If that’s makin’ ya unhappy...Hehe, I guess ya really do want to be pleasured by my fangs.”

You deny it.

“No point in tryin’ to cover it up. Don’t ya think it’s ‘bout time ya realize that yer body speaks louder than a thousand words? Haah...When ya make that kinda expression, I seriously end up cravin’ yer blood. I start yearnin’ for ya. ...From this arm, for example.”

Yuma suddenly bites you. 

“Nnhーー!!”

*Sluuuuurp*

“...Haah! Haah...I can’t get enough...It really tastes extra special after endurin’ it for a bit...Relax. Otherwise it’ll hurt, right?”

*Rustle rustle*

“...You’re shaky in yer step. Ya must really like my fangs. Hehe. If ya want more, then stand properly on yer legs.”

You get back up.

“...What do ya want me to do, huh?”

You beg for his fangs. 

“Hehe...You’ve just been dyin’ for this, haven’t ya? ...Yer honest side honestly drives me crazy.”

*Rustle*

“I’ll suck from yer lower back next as well. Nn...Lemme hear more of those sweet cries, ‘kay?”

Yuma bites you again.

*Ding・dong*

“...!? The fuck!? We’re just at the good part too!”

You try and walk towards the door but he stops you.

*Rustle*

“...Hey, wait. Ya don’t need to go.”

You insist.

“Che...Didn’t ya hear me when I said ya don’t need to go just now? Imma hurt yーー”

*Ding・dongー Ding・dong*

“(mutters) ...Can this person read the mood, for fuck’s sake...”

You tell him it might be urgent. 

“Shut up! Just stay here. ...Heh. Actually, were ya gonna answer the door lookin’ like that?”

You look down at yourself and grow embarrassed. 

“Hehe...You’re covered in both hickeys and bite marks, ya know? Well, if ya wanna go that badly, be my guest then. I’m not stoppin’ ya. That’s a fittin’ look for a Sow after all.”

You shake your head.

“Hehehe. Figured so~ ...In that case, ya can’t show yerself in public.”

Yuma pulls you close.

*Rustle*

“ー With that bein’ said, let’s continue. I’m not lettin’ ya off the hook just yet. Hehe~ Let’s see...I’ll bite ya here next.”

He bites you again.

*Sluuuurp*

“I figured it was ‘bout time I marked this disobedient Sow again to remind her of who she belongs to. Haha...Puttin’ these where ya can see them really is the way to go. Gotta show everyone that you’re mine, no? Haahn...”

*Sluuuurp*

“...Hah! Haah...Look at that dreamy look in yer eyes...Ya really like this spot best, don’t ya? ...Fine by me. I’ll do it more then. I’ll thrust them in nice and deep...”

*Rustle*

“So cry out for me sweetly, ‘kay? Also...Show me all of your shameful expressions. Entice me more.”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[fire-flakes]

thinking about the fire teens + ideology again. the thing is that, in terms of content, we don’t know what exactly the fire nation’s official ideology is. we aren’t given their precise justifications for conquest and violence, we don’t know the basis for their perceived superiority, and we don’t even really know why the war started. there are some hints at it in the series (the oath the students recite in “the headband,” azula’s divine right of kings speech), but we never get an in-depth look. and I would argue that we don’t need to, because while the fire nation’s ideological content isn’t clear, its ideological structure is.

the fire nation has been engaged in a continuous war of conquest for almost a century. no one currently alive remembers a time when the country wasn’t at war. it’s an absolute monarchy with a rigidly centralized, authoritarian power structure, and the logic of this structure is refracted throughout the entire society. the fire nation’s state ideology has several characteristics of umberto eco’s ur-fascism (notably 5, 7, and 9-11). it values discipline, obedience, martial talent, the submission of the individual to the national cause, and above all, power. power is self-justifying and also a demonstration of moral value: the fire nation is good because it is powerful, and powerful because it is good. these qualities are innate within societies and people; they cannot be fundamentally changed, and this means that there is a fixed hierarchy of value for both individuals and groups. some societies deserve to dominate, and some deserve to be dominated by other societies. some people are born lucky, and some people are lucky to be born.

and, in terms of zuko and azula especially, you have to consider that they are born into the royal family of this absolute monarchy. this means that a) they’re positioned at the top of the fire nation’s symbolic hierarchy, as people who are meant to rule, dominate, and be obeyed, and b) the center of this system, its highest authority, is their father. there’s a conflation of self-worth with duty and honor, of duty with the subjugation of others, and of familial with political loyalty.

so you have zuko, who understands himself as someone born to rule with all the power and responsibility that entails, but who’s plagued by a sense of inadequacy because he’s never been good enough in the eyes of the only person who matters according to this system. when we meet him, he’s been in exile outside the fire nation for years, but he still adheres rigidly to the logic that led to his banishment. he’s determined to redeem himself, to prove himself worthy on the terms set out for him, at any cost. but that rigidity is underscored by fragility, and zuko’s arc over the course of the series is largely about unraveling this system of values, which culminates when he gets everything he’s supposed to want and rejects it anyway. this is a difficult, complicated process, and not an uninterrupted one. for this development to have real emotional weight, you have to understand zuko as someone who starts out actually wanting those things (status, power, his father’s approval). zuko isn’t a morally pure soft boi: his worldview is fundamentally informed by a violent authoritarian ideology. it takes a long time for him escape from it, and it's going to influence him in underlying ways even after he officially rejects it.

and then you have azula. zuko, according to this system, is defined by failure, but azula is defined even more narrowly by success. azula, when we meet her, is exactly the kind of person authoritarian societies want to produce: strong, brave, strategically brilliant, attuned to her role in society, and completely loyal to the nation and the national cause. and I don’t think any of this is incidental to the question of why azula’s arc ends the way it does. because one of the major themes of a:tla as a show and the fire nation arcs in particular is the fundamental moral and strategic weakness of imperialism. and azula–who is both blameless and not, who was raised with this ideology and (unlike zuko) never had either a reason or much of an opportunity to question it, but who also perpetuated this imperialist system and hurt others in its name–goes down with it. her strengths become weaknesses. she loses her friends because she can’t understand or predict their defiance of the authoritarian framework. and, when her father’s rejection destroys both the illusion of his respect and her idea of herself as someone who wins while other people lose, she has nothing to fall back on. a lot of azula discussion revolves around assigning her individual moral value (good v bad, redeemable v irredeemable), when I think the most interesting way to look at her is as someone shaped by a bad system, whose good qualities are put to bad ends through interaction with that system. azula is a profoundly tragic character, because she never fails the ideal set out for her. instead, the ideal fails her. 

(@autistic-anarchist I started writing this before I saw your reply to my other post but I hope this is interesting to you!)

[hello-nichya-here]

Ok, so what in your opinion is the WORST mistake that the showrunners for Game of Thrones made in terms of content, either it's addition or redaction?

WARNING: Looooooong post ahead

Themes are for eighth-grade book reports

This absurd quote by one of the showrunners explains why exactly the show fell appart. They wanted to make a story... without themes. Anyone with a minimally functioning brain will tell that this is impossible because every story, even the simplest and least complicated story there ever, has a theme. Even a nihilistic story has a theme "Nothing matters". Every. Story. Has. A. Theme.

But Game Of Thrones didn't, at least not after the writers ran out of books to adapt and did their own thing. Everything every character did was no longer to build a narrative, but to essentially act as click-bait. The focus was to make people keep watching, not on making any content that was worth watching.

The first four seasons had it's problems, just like the books had it's problems, but Martin's writting was so brilliant that it managed to stay good even while being handled by absolute clowns. The moment season four ended was the moment the show stopped being an adaptation and became it's own thing - and like I explained before, said thing wasn't a story.

Shock

Both the show and the books had MANY shocking, heart-breaking and downright horrifying scenes: Daenerys being raped by Drogo; Bran being pushed out the window after accidentally seeing the queen fucking her brother; the whole deal with Craster and his daughters; the Dotrakhi destroying Mirri's village and her revenge against them and Daenerys; Ned's death; Melisandre giving birth to a shadow baby that killed Renly; The Red Wedding; Jeoffrey's death; Tyrion killing his father; Theon being tortured by Ramsay...

The difference is there were REASONS behind the shocking scenes Martin created. Even when you look at things like rape and torture scenes and threats of rape/torture - Martin used those scenes to remind us that the world he created is an EXTREMELY dangerous and downright vile place, and that the characters are never truly safe, and that there are WAY worse things than just being killed.

Dumb & Dumber on the other hand, gaves us scenes like an evil, former man of the night's watch evily making an evil speech to his fellow evil men, evily drinking whine from a human skull while nameless women were being raped in the background - but little does he know that Jon Snow, the hero, is about to wreck his shit. It takes something that could realistically happen (and that did happen in the books) and takes it up to eleven because the writers think shock is the same as quality and that the audience is SO STUPID that they need to practically make the actor jump out of the TV, grab us by the shoulders and scream "I'M EVIL! I'M THE BIG BAD! ROOT FOR THE HERO TO KILL ME!"

Pretty much every bad guy became a parody of Jeoffrey, ironically enough because the writers took Jeoffrey too seriously. He was a cruel, sadistic character, who had WAY too much power - but he was also a spoiled baby whose reply to Tyrion bitch-slapping him wasn't a threat, but "I'M TELLING MOM!" Jeoffrey worked because he was only allowed to do his thing whenever smarter, more competent characters like Tyrion and Tywin where not around, meaning his actions, while inhumane, never reached the point of no longer being believable.

The horrible things that happened to the characters no longer felt "right". For instance, Sansa had just been taken to the Eerie by Little Finger, who has a weird complex in which he sees her both as the daughter he never had with Catelyn AND as a replacement for Catelyn, and she was starting to truly be a player instead of a pawn... and then the writers realized "Oh shit, we should have not cut the Jeyne Pool/Fake Arya' plot, that was important" and forced it on Sansa, making Little Finger hand her on a silver plater to Ramsay and turning her into a victim AGAIN, this time to a man that dramatically fights his enemies without a shirt own, practically saying "come at me bro"

Compare this to Ned's beheading, or Catelyn and Rob being betrayed and killed by the Freys. These moments were shocking and downright depressing - but they were earned. The writting was on the wall for anyone to see: Ned was at the mercy of Jeoffrey, and the Starks had given the Freys, who are notoriously disloyal, a reason to resent them. These twists felt completely natural, were the only logical way for the situation the characters were in to play out, AND they had consequences to plot instead of just making the audience gasp and then being forgotten about.

Plot armor

It's kind of ironic and almost tragic that the show that became famous for killing characters later became the worst type of high-stakes series, putting the characters in situations they could NOT survive, not even if a goddamn miracle happened, and having them live anyway. What's even worse is that it happened repeatedly. If I had to see Jon Snow almost die and then survive anyway one more fucking time I was going to lose my mind.

There's no bigger proof that there were just no consequences for the "main" characters anymore than watching the second, third, and fourth episodes of season either. The first sets up that this battle against the night king and his army of undead is likely going to kill the majority of them, if they're lucky... and then in the third we see the plot armor in all of it's "glory", and then in the forth we find out that the Dotrakhi, who had ALL been killed, actually still have half the numbers they had the night before, somehow. Even red-shirts weren't dying anymore.

DORNE

This disaster needed it's own session because HOLY SHIT, it's a miracle/tragedy that everyone didn't go "Fuck it, I'm never watching another episode of this stupid show."

The Dorne plot in the books isn't perfect, but what the show did to it was so fucking bad that I'm pretty sure the writers didn't even read the Dorne chapters in the books, they just looked at a wiki, wrote down the names of a few characters and then did their own shitty thing.

In the books, Doran Martel is a clever, dangerous man, who pretends to be harmless so people will understimate him and step right into his trap. In the show, Doran Martel... died. That's it. I can't remember anything else that happened to him. Add him to the list of "Brilliant characters that became stupid due to shitty writing", I'm sure Tyrion, Varys and Little Finger will love making him company.

The sand-snakes, one of the main driving force of that plot, were all distinct characters in the books, with their personalities, goals, methods and motivations - basically they were created by a writer who knew what he is was doing. In the show they were all the same "character" who could be perfectly described by that horrible, cringy, PAINFUL line one of them (I can't even remember which) said to Bron "You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy" (Seriously, if that actress ever kills the show-runners as revenge for having to say that, she'll be 100% justifyed in doing so)

And we cannot forget the driving force behind that unwatchable shit show: Ellaria Sand. In the books, the death of Oberyn made her believe that revenge only leads to more blood-shed. In the show, his death enraged to the point of wanting to avenge him and his family, and she did this... by killing his family. If that doesn't explain how insane and stupid this plot-line was, I don't know what will.

Hype = Character assassination

Many shows are based around the conflict between the bad guys and the good guys. Game Of Thrones is not one of these shows. Or at least it wasn't. As they ran out of ideas, the writers started mutilating every single character until they could be label as "Good" or "Bad", regardless of what felt right to the story and to the point that there was nothing left of said characters. Stannis's actor, Stephen Dillane, straight up said that the only thing he got from being on the show was money and that his character's motivations and decisions were nonsense - ironically enough, that kind of brutal honesty means that the writers had THE perfect actor play Stannis, and wasted his fucking time.

Here's a list of the characters that fell victims to this horrible fate: Catelyn Stark, Tyrion Lannister, Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Jon Snow, Melisandre, Stannis, Jorah, Daenerys (bonus points for being mutilated into being both a generic, shitty "hero" and a generic, shitty "villain") Greyworm, Rhaegar Targaryen, Lyanna Stark...

Pretty much the only character who became more complex in the show than she was in the books was Cersei. While her book self was never just a "Generic Evil Queen", the show version of her was far more sympathetic, which made the stories she was part of interesting. Too bad the writers ran out of ideas of what to do with her after season six and just left her by the window drinking whine until Dany showed up to kill her. Which brings us to...

Why is this happening?

Cersei was seen as a threat in the last two seasons based on nothing but the things she HAD done. Her story just ended the very second season six did, but since she was still alive despite being one of the bad guys she had to die... I guess. She (and by extention Jaime) joined the list of characters that had nothing to do, but were still around: Davos, Theon, Yara, Melisandre, Bron, Sam, Gendry, Bran (the last one being SO unnecessary that he was cut from season five and no one noticed)

To combat that issue, the writers gave characters "motivations" that made no sense. For exemple: Sandor Clegane. His only reason to be in the show was so he could kill his brother. The problem was that Gregor was already dead. He was a walking corpse. There was nothing left of the abusive brother Sandor once knew, meaning he had no reason to fight him, and that, to keep Sandor around, the writers should have come up something new (like the redemption that book fans have been waiting for, and that has a lot of backing evidence). You might as well have had HIM be the one to randomly fly out of nowhere and kill the night king despite having no connection to him.

And since we're talking about the night king... Arya was the one to kill him. Why? Because the writers ruined Jaime's redemption arc, meaning that the only fitting ending for him was to die with Cersei, and so Arya could not kill Cersei despite wanting to, having the ability to do, AND having heard a prophecy that said she'd "Shutting brown eyes, blue eyes, and green eyes forever", the last one being the only one she had not done AND applying to Cersei. But Dumb & Dumber admitted they had no plan for this, so now that they were at the last season, they needed to do something with it, and they retconned it to mean Arya would kill the night king...

But Arya killing him meant Jon had nothing to do, so Dany had to go mad so he could kill her. To "hint" at that, they ignored all the not at all subtle foreshadowing the previous season had of Dany and Jon having a kid, and they even showed her getting jealous that he was technically the true heir... even though that made no sense since they were going to rule together anyway, and even after Dany went full "Mad Queen" she ASKED HIM TO RULE WITH HER. But anyways, he kills her and becomes king...

Except he doesn't actually become king and him being a secret Targaryen has no effect in the plot, because Bran needed to become king so there'd be a reason for him to be alive, because his magical powers turned into a plot-device. A plot-device that wasn't used at any goddamn point. Seriously, the only thing as bad as Bran becoming king was Euron's existence - dude was THE most useless villain ever AND the worst Jeoffrey parody.

A darker story (literally)

I could not end this rant without bitching about this. What is the point of spending an ungodly amount of money on sets, costumes, make-up, special effects... and then using such poor lighting that no one can see what the fucking is going on?

Anyway, this disaster of a series was so absurd it should be used as an exemple of what NOT to do.

[funkin-news]

ninjamuffin ama summary - 9/28/2021

you know the drill, purple text is me paraphrasing, everything else is direct (or almost direct) quote, FNF-related stuff only

Q: What is one common misconception about FNF or its development that you wanna clear up?

A: im not the sole creator, im not some sole director. Each of the boys have very important roles with the game. This isn't just 1 dude having tunnel vision about a game, its generally all us coming to similar conclusions on where we want to take the game and what we wanna do wit it

Q: why

A: because I love video games and I love newgrounds

Q: Do you or the team plan to go back and make the older weeks higher quality?

A: that will definitely happen. both for general polish, and things leading up into future weeks / story or whatever

Q: Why did everyone think Week 8 was gonna come out on the 22nd?

A: accidental "teases" (Dave's MC-related doodle), madness day, general anxiousness bc the devs haven't been sharing much

Q: What kind of QOL changes are being added in the future?

A: charting editor improvements is one

Q: What is the most insane, most likely impossible to happen person you would like to collaborate with, could be Funkin related, could be just a personal project

A: the girl reading this

Q: Is Cassette Girl week 8?

A: no

Q: Is there concept art for the characters, or did they look the same during development?

A: GF looks exactly the same as the first ever drawing PhantomArcade did. There's a few small lil variations for a good chunk the other MAIN characters, one day u will see all them

R: can you explain the old bf icon? or is it just a dumb placeholder?

A: just a cool ass lil icon evilsk8r did during the game jam weekend

Q: Are you letting yourself getting inspired by more different genres of music for future weeks?

A: i think that more a Q for kawaisprite, but that man loves music, and can and does get inspired by anything he listens to in regards to music

Q: Why has the team been so silent about update progress?

A: They do better working in silence than hyping things up; when Week 6 was teased working on it became really stressful for them. Also, element of surprise

R: but youve been silent abt week7 on desktop for months, half a year. & week 8 is like….. nonexistant

A: week 8 isnt nonexistant, we just absolutely do not want to talk about it whatsoever. i said all the week 7 stuff will come with week 8 update

Q: what do you genuinely think about the people thinking you guys scammed people out of $2 million? just curious is all, i’ve seen lots of people talking about it rn

A: i think people are a bit wary about kickstarter, and makes sense when people's coin is on the line. if u want a breakdown of what we used KS coin so far, we spent maybe 2K of it on some development stuff we needed, most other expenses been paid from our savings / donations, etc.

Q: When does the OST come to the backers?

A: Kickstarter vinyl OSTs still need to be manufactured, which would take at least 6 months because of a global PVC shortage, completely out of our control. what is in our control is that we also still need to finish up and finalize artwork for it, the boys wanna make it all perfect. Same goes for CDs, but those should be done way sooner

Q: You got a date range of when Tshirt / Poster / or Pin surveys will be out by any chance? 👀

A: kickstarter tshirts / poster / pin stuff have been coming along nicely and hopefully those surveys should be coming soon, prob next few weeks

Q: Do you guys think you'll experiment with other artstyles in future weeks?

A: yes, cuz we've already done that (week 6) theres a lot more where that came from

Q: if you could isolate one part of the game and say it’s your favorite what would it be

A: the fact that FNF is our pure creative vision, with absolutely nothing getting in the way of that. Open source free Newgrounds rhythm game with crazy zany kawaisprite music, and stylish and charismatic animation and art style. and game been successful because of all of that.

Q: what do you think about people compiling the full ass game and playing it without paying anything

A: that makes me happy

Q: what do you think of all the mods and stuff people has made about your game

A: mods make me happy

Q: any inspiration from doki doki literature club for the weird stuff in week 6?

A: no, but some of the cool lil programming things DDLC did do interest me

Q: How do we know you're working on the game

A: you don't, and really it doesnt matter all too much. we being productive and things are moving forward, and people not believing that doesnt change that

And now, a speech:

i think trying to focus on keeping hype and keeping game popular can very easily be hollow. We have no worry about trying to keep hype or relevancy or anything like that. If FNF popularity shrunk to 0.1% of it's size, we'd be content, cuz that's still like 1000% more than before

"before" referring to anything we did before FNF.

you can lose success just as easily as you got it, and for FNF, it got successful INCREDIBLEY fast. With that in mind, it's just the nature of things if it all loses relevancy.

So far FNF doing good through the year, but if it wasn't, it's no real sweat off our back.

Although it's uhhh easy to look at it that way from our perspective. Get back to me and see if my thoughts on this has changed if FNF is forgotten from all memory.

Q: will there be a sequel to the full ass game? Like 'the full a2s game' or something clever like fast & furious movies do

A: friday night funkin: tokyo drift

[youwontlikethisblog]

Thank You For Dropping Me Off, Sir

Now I've talked a lot about Armando's denial and given the facts to prove it. What I don't want getting lost in translation though is that though Armando does care about Betty, you cannot deny that he is also concerned over the company, however it(his feelings towards Betty) is the the real reason he continues with the plan.

@el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle (They're the poster about Aura Maria and Mario their post is Episode 64, go read it if you haven't had the chance!) mentioned something that I hadn't thought about all that well, that due to Armando's tendency of people pleasing he often does things out of a deep responsibility for their happiness and his guilt.

When Mario manipulates him this day(the day after he first kissed Betty) he really switches language as he tells him "I don't like this." "I'm worried." He's after our(my) money." which moves Armando to continue with the plan, for the sake of Mario and the company and everyone else in the company but now he has another reason, he somewhat wants to understand what he feels.

Now let's jump into the scene I'll be breaking down.

Betty is being dropped off by Armando. She is still keeping this very PG, trying to justify his actions to them being work related. Again this is very true of a person who has experienced real heartbreak of the romantic kind. Like I mentioned in the previous post I was in toxic friendship, when that friendship was over I spent years guarding myself around anyone and making no efforts to from friendships of any real substance and when I did I worked really hard to keep them at arm's length. This was my defense mechanism and I appreciate the fact that they show this with Betty.

In most instances they don't portray characters with emotional damage all too well or one could assume that Betty does this because she's insecure and though to some degree that's true, Betty also does this to protect herself from having to once again experience heartbreak and this time from someone who she actually cares about, not someone who in some way forced himself to be her interest.

Miguel wasn't just a guy who used her and got money out of it. That wasn't the only thing that broke Betty.

Miguel presented himself as a love interested to Betty, who didn't like him at first but was flattered by his attention, as she later tells Armando that she up to that point thought no man would ever pay attention to her as a woman. Betty was somewhat guarded but once she let her guard down she fell in love.

She says she gave all of herself and all her love to him. He was her first love but Miguel didn't care. To Betty what Miguel did translated to him finding her so repulsive, so heinous, and disgusting that even her love wasn't enough to change his heart and he shared her naked spirit to his friends all for money and to make fun of her. It wasn't a question of ego but rather of worth.

This with every right left Betty traumatized. So when she speaks over him, interrupts Armando and justify it as him being drunk, not knowing what he was doing, depressed, stressed, anguished for the company and exceeding himself with beautifiers, she is trying not to feed her hope. She is trying to remain grounded and safe because unlike with Miguel Betty on her own has discovered who Armando is and decided to fall in love with him. What she feels for his is true and genuine feelings that weren't "forced" or pushed onto her like with Miguel. If she allows herself to believe what he is saying she is allowing herself to fall victim to loves cruelty again.

Armando soberly repeats the same things he had drunkenly told Betty the previous night. That he can't live without her.

"But you haven't lived without me, Sir. I work by your side more than eighteen hours (Girl I would've done killted myself if I had to work beside a man as neurotic as Armando for 18+ hours a day!No matter how good the view is!) a day."

"Yes but now it's different, Beatriz, because I feel these desires[I can't really hear what he said] to caress you, to kiss you." He says leaning forward after touching the side of her face with the back of his fingers, but Betty pulls back and says "No".

As he pulls away Armando studies Betty's face and looks embarrassed as well as confused at Betty's rejection all the while trying to remain composed.

This is when Betty names the list of reasons not to believe Armando is interested in her and Armando gets mad at her.

He openly yells "No,no,no, I'm not confused Beatriz!" he says between clenched teeth and turns to look at her. "I am not. I feel perfectly sure that what I'm saying is the truth."

"Sir, the thing is that it's not possible for you to have taken notice of me."

Angirly now Armando screams at her "But why!"

Why does he react so angrily at Betty for this? For one because he doesn't like for Betty to invalidate his feelings(again this shows he feels comfortable being himself around her) and that she wouldn't believe that he likes her.

I mentioned already that Armando's tone gives us a true understanding of what he's saying and with what intention even when his body language is different. Here he is upset that Betty doesn't believe him and mostly that she doesn't see why he'd be interested in her.

"But why?" he asks more calmly at seeing Betty's reaction.

She nervously begins to explain "Because I know your type really well. You are of fine palate. You like women who are ninety, sixty, ninety, tall, pretty, with class, and-and I don't correlate with any of those characteristics, sir."

"Yes that's true." They both laugh nervously, "Betty, Betty, Betty." He is now trying to find the words to speak. "I love,love, your-your, strength hmm" He nods and here we see him slowly become more honest as he finds the qualities of Betty's that he loves/likes. "I love that energy that I feel when we're together, I love it. I love the way you do things like so sure of it." He smiles and turns to look at her and then tells her. "I also love your softness(tenderness/gentle nature)." he says looking away from her now being shy and then looks back at her and tells her "I love that gift you've got, of managing people. I really love that."(y'all this is why she works 18+ hours with him, I get it).

Again he starts to struggle to find the words but he finds them and unlike the first reason he listed (her strength) he is actually being honest even though he is doing the same gesture(from what I've read often times when you are reading body language you don't just focus on the gesture but overall the entire context; like tone of voice, subject of conversation, speech patterns, ect. We can conclude that Armando is being honest here as it shows a very natural pattern of behavior of his here instead of seeming tense, now he is actively wanting to find the words to speak) "I love your sensibility, man, you've got a very special sensibility." Betty now looks away from him with a slight smile and he seems Contentment with her reaction(Even in the past, before all of this, Armando has always had a face of contentment/joy when he sees Betty smile, especially when he is the one that makes her smile and because of that he kept trying to actively treat her better so that he could be the cause of it; it's a sense of reward really. He did something nice for her and she'd be happy and that would make him happy. A clear demonstration of this is when Armando talks to Betty about her new raise) and he tells her "Betty it's because you're like a little angle to me. Plus I love your personality, what a (the word he uses literally translates to hot or scorching but we'll use another one) welcoming personality and and I love you intelligence. The way you so efficiently do things. It's because I think that any man would find all of that attractive now, don't you think?"

Armando started struggling to consciously find what he likes about her but all of a sudden he can't stop naming them or talking about the things he finds attractive of Betty's. Like a vail has been dropped in his brain all of a sudden>

"Mmm, no." Betty shakes her head in response to his question. "Definitely not, Sir."

"No?" He chuckles nervously "then I don't know what's going on with me then so then I'm going crazy...crazy for you. See I want you to know that since I found out about Nicolas I felt a lot a lot of fear. I felt a lot of anguish and believe me, I felt a lot of anguish but also this desire to caress you and kiss you. " In this sentence we get a shift of tone of voice showing that he shifts from being honest to being manipulative.

"No, no, Sir. What I was only going to tell you is that I don't understand why you feel that about me. I can't find any motive why[you would]."

Armando's tone has now shifted to manipulation, no longer being light hearted and natural.

"This goes to prove that what one feels goes beyond physical appearance, the stereotypical, you understand me?" then again shifts to his natural voice "Betty I know that you've probably thought that the woman of my life has to be a ninety, sixty, ninety, with these marvelous curves, with generous breast, blue eyes, very tall," he says very clearly showing that he likes that and Betty seems down about it until he turns to look at her "like the models, right? But look none of those models have made me happy. I haven't felt for anyone, what I feel for you Beatriz Pinzon Solano." The final sentence he says with conviction. You can't overlook or ignore that as confusion, this shows us that Armando to some degree knows that what he feels for Betty goes beyond anything he's ever felt for anyone.

Now next he closes his eyes to go onto this monologue that beauty isn't what media feeds us but rather something that is deeper than skin. That is it based on the substance of a person, speaking Betty's love ideal here. Why does he have his eyes closed?

He can openly talk about Betty and the wonderful qualities that he finds attractive but he can't openly talk about Betty's physical appearance because up to this point he hasn't accepted or had to face that reality yet.

Betty the whole time is paying attention to what he's saying, his body language. This is why Betty lives sure and convinced of what he is telling her because she's learned to read him like her favorite book and that's the thing.

Betty is very aware of Armando's feelings, boundaries, and flaws. Just like Mario is and we see that in the office when they see each other for the first time after the kiss. Betty inspects his behavior and then decides to act like nothing happened, not only to protect herself but to not make him uncomfortable. The difference however is that while Mario uses his knowledge on Armando to manipulate and force him to do things, Betty doesn't. Betty uses this knowledge to help him and to encourage him in his growth by celebrating his victories and standing beside him when he fails. She doesn't demand for him to change or stop doing what he is, instead she allows him to behave how he does but she isn't shy to show how she feels about it. While Armando isn't so much intune or aware of Betty's feelings because he's so focused on what Betty does for him, however this doesn't dismiss that because of the way Betty loves him, it also inspires him to change and that's really the biggest lesson we get with these two and we're only getting started.

"Are you sure you haven't had anything to drink, sir?"

"I'm sober, Betty, but I'm hallucinating, and that's real." he looks away from her and then back "I'm hallucinating but for you. Of you, Betty." he leans forward. Now the music here gives us the understanding that it is meant to be intriguing(I love the soundtrack so I looked it up and that's legit the title track for this theme) .

Music is a huge part of cinema as it is proven to affect the audience and convey feelings otherwise dismissed. The music creates an air of mystery now because we don't know if what Armando is saying and doing is honest now while in the past we could pick up on it now it's a lot harder to do so.

However one can imagine that while he had his eyes closed he was pictureing Adriana Arboleda sitting in front of him(why else would they show us Mario giving him the picture and telling him to just picture her instead) instead of Betty.

Betty turns to look at the moon after he points it and she smiles.

"Yes the moon is very beautiful. How curious." she speaks as Armando now looks at a picture of AA. "It's the same moon that's inspired so many poets throughout a lot of human history." Here Armando takes in a deep breath is seems to be pumping himself up, he takes off his glasses. Betty is still looking up at the moon and says "There's nothing that inspires more than the moon." Armando sleeks his brows(he wanted to look presentable IG) and agrees with her, now his hand under her chin her turns her around towards him.

"And that's our moon, Beatriz and this is our night." He now leans closer.

Now I see many people point out that Armando's eyes are open when he kisses Betty but this is something he does with Marcela as well which indicates that it isn't based on disgust but mostly guilt.

As they kiss at first his eyes are wide open and then tightly shut(if I'm being honest, as a person who hates romance(ironic huh) I hate with a passion, kissing scenes so this is hard for me to watch lol like I've seen from the nose up, nothing below that so I know how Armando reacts as wella s Betty but the mouth part is the one that grosses me out the most) . Betty takes ina sharp breath and pulls away and now Armando opens his eyes surprised and does the same.

"No, Sir.." Betty is now the one struggling to find words.

"You didn't like it?" He asks but states at the same time.

Betty nods gently, however her eyes are wide. Betty is terrified here and it isn't because Armando is taking advantage here(he's not) it's because she is terrified of all the implications it means. For one she is allowing herself to have hope for a relationship with Armando, for her to show her love to him and for him to love her for it, despite the fact she's "ugly". It means that she is setting herself up for a potential heartbreak that could be the end of her.

"Lets move from here, it's cause my dad peeps out through the windows and he can come and see what's going on and I don't want that."

"Yeah me either."

They move from location and Betty proceeds to speak.

"Sir this isn't correct. I don't know what's going on with you. I'm starting to get worried, Sir. "

"What is it Betty? Is that you suddenly don't feel anything for me?" He tries to stay composed but his micro expression shows worry.

"Of course I do." He looks somewhat relieved while maintaining a poker face. "I admire you a lot. You're a man that's so-so interesting." he smirks and raises an eyebrow showing approval of what she said as well as confident in himself 'Of course you do'.

"I started to feel that you were special for me when you started to defend my work. To value me as a professional." He still seems pleased but not as much. As Betty relays all of this in the professional element(While Armando focused on the person). We know why it was so important to her that Armando did this and why he became special to her for it, however Armando doesn't. "and I realized how important I am for your life.(osea, how important of a role she plays in his life)" Armando now has eyebrows raised and is blinking rapidly. He is really paying attention to what she is saying. and trying to comprehend as well "All of these things attract me from you." she says timidly.

He now has to face this new reality, that though he confessed true attraction based on her person, Betty has only relaid professional or work related qualities that attract her, not him as an individual and why it bothers him.

"That-that's wonderful, Betty."

"But this is crazy, Sir. You have a girlfriend, you're going to get married." He turns from he and opens his mouth slightly in shock and then turns back to look at her. "You can't leave Marcela to start a relationship with me."

He now looks at her with a frustrated expression.

"It would be terrible, your family would not allow it... and what would happen with me? You have to really think this through."

"No, Betty, but of course. It can be crazy, of course. What's happening is that I already... I already experienced something. Yes and I already confirmed that I want to keep living it. Now you're right I can't breakup with Marcela, just like that. The situation with Eco Moda is too difficult to end things with her right this moment, plus my relationship with my family is in crises, I think they wouldn't take the sandal and neither would I but you better than anyone know I don't love Marcela. See if that's the case, what's the fear? Let's continue ahead, Betty. Besides it's about feelings. I have to feel for you, you have to feel for me. We'll see til where we go. Don't you think?" The music theme is titled "secrecy".

"I'm just so afraid, Sir."

"Or is it because you feel more for that sir, Nicolas?" he says with a tinge of jealousy.

"Ay, sir, lets take Nicolas out of this conversation, you want to?"

"Yes clearly, that's what I want. So what then? What's the fear? Huh? You've risked everything for me, see, together we've done a lot crazy things. We've been accomplices in a lot things and now you're going to tell me that you don't have the bravery to live this next to me? Or you don't want to live it, Betty?

"Of course I do, Sir."

"Yes?" He now shifts to kiss her.

After their kiss, after Armando does that disgusted face again, Betty agrees to be his other woman.

His phone starts to ring and Marcela is a very possessive manner tells Armando that she's waiting for him and just wanted to make sure he was going to go over, that she a very delicious dinner for him.

After he hangs up and he agrees to drop her off he tells Betty "You look very precious." And she scoffs in a lighthearted way, finding it funny that he'd say that.

Marcela legit made fun of her and said that she looked worse than she had the day before so it amuses her that Armando would say that.

"One last question, will Mr. Mario Calderon know of this?" she asks as they arrive at the front of her house. "It's just that you both are so trusting of each other, you tell each other everything. I wouldn't want for him nor anyone to know of this, Sir. In some way you have a relationship with Ms. Marcela and by accepting this affair I take on the role of you lover."

"No don't say that." Again this entire things highlights Armando's true nature of his obsessiveness with physical perfection and how it's the only way he can ever be attracted to a woman so he feels grossed out by the idea of having to do anything more than kissing, and lover implies that they do more than kissing. He'd know, he's an expert in the subject.

This is when Armando promises to Betty not to tell Mario about this.

This is his second mistake with Betty.

The first being that he starts his relationship in the bases of lies.

The drop off:

Now as the nights go on there's a change of pace to the drop offs in front of Betty's house.

This first time Betty waves good-bye to him and he repeats to himself he's a piece of ish over and over again, angirly. Duh, he feels guilty.

Betty's dad then opens the door and Armando urgently drives off. Later we see that he does this frequently but slowly he begins to take a while longer before driving off, which demonstrates his longing for Betty.

[gffa]

OKAY, IF I’M GONNA DO THIS, I’M GONNA DO IT PROPERLY.  WHICH MEANS YEAH IT’S GONNA GET REALLY LONG. A couple of things to say ahead of time:  Lucasfilm’s Story Group has always said CANON > WORD OF GOD when it comes to these matters, so when I quote canon examples from supplementary materials that contradict what he says, that’s LF’s official position, but that doesn’t mean that an influential person like Dave’s views couldn’t affect how things will be shaped in the future, like Deborah Chow listening to this may be influenced by it on the Obi-Wan show, despite that Master & Apprentice contradicts him.  It’s an incredibly murky area!  Mileages are going to vary.   Another thing to keep in mind is that Dave Filoni never worked on The Phantom Menace, that was long, long before his time at Lucasfilm (which I think he joined sometime around 2007? and TPM was released in 1999), that he has worked with George more than probably anyone else, but we cannot and should not treat him as infallible or the True Authority on things, because even Dave himself has said things like: “I mean, I know why I did that and what it means, but I don't like to explain too much. I love for the viewers to watch stuff and come up with their own theories -- and they frankly come up with better things that I intended.”  --Dave Filoni, Entertainment Tonight 2020 interview Or, in the same episode as the above Qui-Gon interpretation:

So, when I dig into this, I’m not doing this out of a sense of malice or even that I suddenly hate Dave or don’t appreciate all the incredible things he’s brought to SW, but in that I disagree with his take, Dave understands that he doesn’t always get it right, that he enjoys that fans come up with different things than he does and sometimes he likes those even more.  There’s room for both of us and, for all that Dave mentions George a lot (and, hey, fair enough, the guy worked with George and I’m just quoting what George Lucas has said) doesn’t mean that this is straight from George, especially because I have never seen George Lucas utter so much as a peep about how the Jedi were responsible for Anakin’s fall.  He has explicitly and frequently talked about how Anakin’s fall was his own choice, as well as I’ve never seen him say anything Jedi-critical beyond “they were kind of arrogant about themselves”.  I have read and watched every George Lucas interview I could get my hands on and maybe I’m still missing something, but that’s literally the extent of him criticizing the Jedi I have EVER seen. (It’s from the commentary on AOTC where he put in the scene with Jocasta to show they were full of themselves, but I also think it’s fair to point out that Obi-Wan immediately contradicts this by going to Dex for help, showing that it’s not necessarily a Jedi-wide thing.) Before I go further, I want to say:  this is not a post meant to tear down Qui-Gon, he is a character I actually really do love, but the focus is on showing why the above interpretation of him is wrong, which means focusing on Qui-Gon’s flaws. He has many wonderful qualities, he is someone who cared deeply and was a good person, I think things would have been better had he lived!  But Anakin’s choices did not hinge on him, because Anakin’s choices were Anakin’s, that has always been the consistent theme of how George talks about him, the way he talks about the story is always in terms of “Anakin did this” or “Anakin chose that”, and the Jedi are very consistently shown as caring, they believed very much in love and Dave’s own show (well, I say “his own show”, but honestly TCW was George’s baby primarily and he had a lot of direct, hands-on say in crafting it, through at least the first five seasons) is plenty of evidence of that. I’m not going to quote the full thing because this is already a monster post, I’m just going to focus on the Jedi stuff, because I like the other points a lot, but if you want the full text, it’s here.  The relevant part is: “In Phantom Menace, you’re watching these two Jedi in their prime fight this evil villain. Maul couldn’t be more obviously the villain. He’s designed to look evil, and he is evil, and he just expresses that from his face all the way out to the type of lightsaber he fights with. What’s at stake is really how Anakin is going to turn out. Because Qui-Gon is different than the rest of the Jedi and you get that in the movie; and Qui-Gon is fighting because he knows he’s the father that Anakin needs. Because Qui-Gon hasn’t given up on the fact that the Jedi are supposed to actually care and love and that’s not a bad thing. The rest of the Jedi are so detached and they become so political that they’ve really lost their way and Yoda starts to see that in the second film. But Qui-Gon is ahead of them all and that’s why he’s not part of the council. So he’s fighting for Anakin and that’s why it’s the ‘Duel of the Fates’ – it’s the fate of this child. And depending on how this fight goes, Anakin, his life is going to be dramatically different. “So Qui-Gon loses, of course. So the father figure, he knew what it meant to take this kid away from his mother when he had an attachment, and he’s left with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan trains Anakin at first out of a promise he makes to Qui-Gon, not because he cares about him. When they get Anakin, they find him on Tatooine, he says “Why do I feel like we’ve found another useless lifeform?” He’s comparing Anakin to Jar Jar and he’s saying “this is a waste of our time, why are we doing this, why do you see importance in these creatures like Jar Jar Binks and this ten-year-old boy? This is useless.” “So, he’s a brother to Anakin eventually but he’s not a father figure. That’s a failing for Anakin. He doesn’t have the family that he needs. He loses his mother in the next film. He fails on this promise that he made, “mother, I’m going to come back and save you”. So he’s left completely vulnerable and Star Wars is ultimately about family. So that moment in that movie which a lot of people I think diminish, “oh there’s a cool lightsaber fight”, but it’s everything that the entire three films of the prequels hangs on, is that one particular fight. And Maul serves his purpose and at that point died before George made me bring him back, but he died.“  --Dave Filoni  I’m going to take this a piece at a time to show why I really disagree with the content of both the movies and The Clone Wars supporting what Dave says and, instead, contradicts it a lot. The rest of the Jedi are so detached and they become so political that they’ve really lost their way and Yoda starts to see that in the second film. He doesn’t explain what this means, but I’m pretty sure that he’s referring to this conversation: OBI-WAN: “I am concerned for my Padawan. He is not ready to be given this assignment on his own yet.” YODA: “The Council is confident in its decision, Obi-Wan.” MACE WINDU: “The boy has exceptional skills.” OBI-WAN: “But he still has much to learn, Master. His abilities have made him... well.... arrogant.” YODA: “Yes, yes. A flaw more and more common among Jedi. Hmm... too sure of themselves they are. Even the older, more experienced ones.” MACE WINDU: “Remember, Obi-Wan, if the prophecy is true, your apprentice is the only one who can bring the Force back into balance.” OBI-WAN: "If he follows the right path.” None of that has anything to do with being “detached” and, further, I think this is something that’s come up with Dave’s view of Luminara a lot, because he’s described her (re: the Geonosis arc):  “We were trying to illustrate the difference between the way Anakin is raising his Padawan, and how much he cares about her, and the way Luminara raises her Padawan. Not that Luminara is indifferent, but that Luminara is detached. It’s not that she doesn’t care, but she’s not attached to her emotionally.” Here, he says that the Jedi care, in the above, he says that the Jedi don’t care, which makes me think there’s a lot of characterization drift as time goes on, especially when fandom bombards everyone with the idea that the Jedi were cold, emotionless, and didn’t care.  However, look at Luminara’s face in that arc, when she’s talking with Anakin:

That is not the face of someone who doesn’t care.  She even smiles brightly in relief when Barriss is shown to be okay, that this really doesn’t convey “detached” in an unloving or uncaring way.  (We’ll get to attachment later, that’s definitely coming.) (I’m also mostly skipping the political thing, because I think that’s just a fundamental disagreement of whether Jedi should or should not lean into politics.  My view basically boils down to that I think ALL OF US should be leaning more into politics because we are citizens who live in the world and are responsible for it, and the Jedi are no different.  This is evidenced by:  - M&A’s storyline has Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan saving the day specifically because they play politics, that’s how they manage to free the slaves, through playing politics and being part of the Republic/having Senate backing. - The Clone Wars has shown that the Jedi believe “lasting change can only come from within” and “it’s every citizen’s duty to hold their leaders accountable” when Ahsoka teaches the cadets on Mandalore, as well as that politics are not inherently bad, given that Padme and Bail are working to make the system better or “create lasting change from within [the system]” - "Trying to serve the greater good does not always make you popular” says Padme Amidala in a very caring speech - Star Wars Propaganda makes the case that the Jedi might have won the war had they leaned more into politics. - Sometimes the Jedi get unfairly accused of playing politics when there’s just no good choice and they still have to choose one or the other.) But Qui-Gon is ahead of them [re: caring and loving] all and that’s why he’s not part of the council. This is flat-out wrong in regards to canon.  Mileages are going to vary, of course, on how much one takes a novel into consideration, but Dave Filoni is not a fan with the luxury of deciding what is or isn’t canon, he works on Star Wars where canon is canon.  Now, does that mean canon will never contradict itself, especially if Dave gets to write something for Qui-Gon?  Of course not, SW isn’t immune to continuity errors and they themselves have never said otherwise, even when fans want to hold them to that standard. However, this is still pretty much a big “that’s not what happened” instance.  In Master & Apprentice, the Jedi Council offer a seat to Qui-Gon on the Council, specifically BECAUSE he has different opinions from them and they welcome that.  (Excerpt here.)      “We hope it will also be our gain,” Mace replied. “Qui-Gon Jinn, we hereby offer you a seat on the Jedi Council.”      Had he misheard? No, he hadn’t. Qui-Gon slowly gazed around the circle, taking in the expressions of each Council member in turn. Some of them looked amused, others pleased. A few of them, Yoda included, appeared more rueful than not. But they were serious.      “I admit—you’ve surprised me,” Qui-Gon finally said.“I imagine so,” Mace said drily. “A few years ago, we would’ve been astonished to learn we would ever consider this. But in the time since, we’ve all changed. We’ve grown. Which means the possibilities have changed as well.”      Qui-Gon took a moment to collect himself. Without any warning, one of the turning points of his life had arrived. Everything he said and did in the next days would be of great consequence. “You’ve argued with my methods often as not, or perhaps you’d say I’ve argued with yours.”      “Truth, this is,” Yoda said.      Depa Billaba gave Yoda a look Qui-Gon couldn’t interpret. “It’s also true that the Jedi Council needs more perspectives.” Ultimately, Qui-Gon is the who turns them down and gives up a chance to shape the Jedi Council because he doesn’t like the shape they’re taking.  That he does become less political, but this is after he’s argued that the Jedi should be working to push the Senate harder, so when he has a chance to help with that, he turns it down.  It has nothing to do with caring and loving, it’s about Qui-Gon’s desire to not have to deal with the work himself, when he wants to be more of a hippie Jedi.  (I’ve written a lot about Qui-Gon in M&A, why I actually think it’s really spot-on to someone who can be both really kind and really kind of a dick, but it’s not the most flattering portrayal, even if narrative intention likely didn’t mean what came across to me.  I think this post and this post are probably the most salient ones, but if you want something of an index of the web that’s being woven with all the various media, this one is good, too.) So he’s fighting for Anakin and that’s why it’s the ‘Duel of the Fates’ – it’s the fate of this child. And depending on how this fight goes, Anakin, his life is going to be dramatically different. I have only ever seen George Lucas talk about Anakin’s fate in one instance and it’s this:  “It’s fear of losing somebody he loves, which is the flipside of greed. Greed, in terms of the Emperor, it’s the greed for power, absolute power, over everything. With Anakin, really it’s the power to save the one he loves, but it’s basically going against the Fates and what is natural.“ –George Lucas, Revenge of the Sith commentary I’ve made my case about why I think Anakin’s fate is about that moment in Palpatine’s office, and so I’m not fundamentally opposed that “Duel of the Fates” is about Anakin’s fate, but here’s what George has provably said about the “Duel of the Fates” part of the story: - In the commentary for The Phantom Menace during “Duel of the Fates” and none of Dave’s speculation is even hinted at, there’s more focus on the technical side of things and the most George talks about is that it’s Obi-Wan who parallels Luke in going over the edge during the fight, except that instead of a Sith cutting off a Jedi’s hand, it’s a Jedi cutting a Sith in half, drawing the parallels between them. - He does say of the funeral scene that this is where Obi-Wan commits to training Anakin and how everything is going to go (though, in canon we see that Obi-Wan still struggles with this a bit, but Yoda is there to support him and nudge him into committing even more to Anakin, because the Jedi are a supportive community to each other).  This is some solid evidence for that Obi-Wan is already caring about Anakin beyond just Qui-Gon. - Then here’s what he says about the “Duel of the Fates” fights and themes of them in "All Films Are Personal": George Lucas: “I wanted to come up with an apprentice for the Emperor who was striking and tough. We hadn’t seen a Sith Lord before, except for Vader, of course. I wanted to convey the idea that Jedi are all very powerful, but they’re also vulnerable — which is why I wanted to kill Qui-Gon. That is to say, “Hey, these guys aren’t Superman.” These guys are people who are vulnerable, just like every other person. “We needed to establish that, but at the same time, we wanted the ultimate sword fight, because they were all very good. It sort of predisposes the sword fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan later on. There’s real purpose to it. You have to establish the rules and then stick with them. The scene illustrates just how Jedi and Sith fight and use lightsabers.” “So Qui-Gon loses, of course. So the father figure, he knew what it meant to take this kid away from his mother when he had an attachment, and he’s left with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan trains Anakin at first out of a promise he makes to Qui-Gon, not because he cares about him.  We’ll get to the “attachment to his mother” thing in a bit--but, for now, let’s just say, George Lucas’ words on this are not that attachment to her was a good thing. Fair enough that “not because he cares about him” is up to personal interpretation, but canon has also addressed the topic of Obi-Wan’s treatment of Anakin and Obi-Wan stepped up to the plate on this.  In addition to how we see Obi-Wan REPEATEDLY being there for Anakin and being concerned and caring about him, they specifically talk about Qui-Gon and overcome this hurdle.

No, Obi-Wan is not Anakin’s father figure, on that we definitely agree.  Anakin never really even treats Obi-Wan like a father--he says “you’re the closest thing I have to a father” in Attack of the Clones, as well as he says Obi-Wan practically raised him in The Clone Wars “Crystal Crisis” story reels, but Anakin has never actually acted like Obi-Wan is his father--”then why don’t you listen to me?” Obi-Wan points out in AOTC--as well as Obi-Wan glides past those remarks, which I’ve always taken that he doesn’t want to reject Anakin’s feelings, knowing that Anakin can be sensitive about them, but neither does he want to confirm them. This does not mean Obi-Wan was not supportive, caring, and loving.  He says, “I loved you!” to Anakin in Revenge of the Sith, he asks after him and if he’s sleeping well in Attack of the Clones, and even George Lucas himself said that the elevator scene was set up TO SHOW OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN CARE FOR EACH OTHER:

PUTTING THE REST UNDER A READ MORE FOR A BETTER LENGTH REBLOGGABLE VERSION, IF  YOU WANT.

This is further evidenced by how the Jedi do see themselves as family, they just don’t need to put it into strict nuclear family dynamics:     - “You were my brother, Anakin!  I loved you!”  [–Obi-Wan Kenobi, Revenge of the Sith]      - “We are brothers, Master Dibs.” [–Mace Windu, Jedi of the Republic - Mace Windu]      - “Did your parents bicker?” she asked. “The adoptive ones, I mean.”         A slow smile broke across Ashla’s face, curling first one side of her mouth and then the other. Whatever she was remembering, Kaeden could tell it was good.         "All the time,“ Ashla said, almost as if she were talking to herself. [–Kaeden Larte, Ahsoka Tano, Ahsoka]      -  Vos, brought to the Temple even younger than most, felt that he had hundreds of brothers and sisters, and it seemed that whenever he went into the dining hall he ran into at least half of them. [Dark Disciple]       - “It was not his birthplace, exactly, but the Jedi Temple was where Quinlan Vos had grown up. He’d raced through its corridors, hidden behind its massive pillars, found peace in its meditation hall, ended-and started-fights in rooms intended for striking blows and some that weren’t, and sneaked naps in its library. All Jedi came here, at some point in their lives; for Quinlan, it always felt like coming home when he ran lightly up the stairs and entered the massive building as he did now.” [Dark Disciple] Brothers, sisters, and other more non-traditional kinds of family are not lesser and Obi-Wan and Anakin absolutely were family, just as the Jedi are all family to each other, so, no, there was no “failing” Anakin, except in Anakin’s mind, perhaps.  (In that, I can agree.  But not on a narratively approved level, canon too thoroughly refutes that for me.) Rebels as well pretty thoroughly shows that non-traditional families are meaningful and just as important--we may joke that Hera is “space mom”, but she’s not actually Ezra or Sabine’s mother, Kanan is not actually their father, and even if they sometimes stray into aspects of those roles (as the Jedi do as well in the movies and TCW), that they don’t need that traditional nuclear family structure.  Mentor figures--and Kanan is Ezra’s mentor--are just as meaningful and needful as a “dad”.  And I’m kind of :/ at the implication that anyone without a dad/father figure or mom/mother figure is being “failed”. When they get Anakin, they find him on Tatooine, he says “Why do I feel like we’ve found another useless lifeform?” He’s comparing Anakin to Jar Jar and he’s saying “this is a waste of our time, why are we doing this, why do you see importance in these creatures like Jar Jar Binks and this ten-year-old boy? This is useless.” Whether or not Obi-Wan is being genuinely dismissive in this movie (I think you could make a case either way), the idea that Qui-Gon is better than Obi-Wan about this, as shown through Jar Jar isn’t exactly very supported given how Qui-Gon and Jar Jar first exchange words:

QUI-GON: “You almost got us killed. Are you brainless?”   JAR JAR:  “I spake.”   QUI-GON: “The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.” Qui-Gon is just as bad as everyone else to Jar Jar, he’s not somehow elevated above them. It’s also baffling because, Dave, I have watched your show.  The Jedi are specifically shown to be kind to people and creatures, not considering them “useless”.  Henry Gilroy (who was the co-writer for The Clone Wars and frequently appeared in featurettes on the same level as Dave Filoni) explicitly draws this to The Jedi Way, that “life is everything to the Jedi“, when he said this about the Ryloth episodes:

(Caps cribbed from Pan’s blog, because I cannot make another gif, save me, please.)      Henry Gilroy in an Aggressive Negotiations Interview:  "Obi-Wan truly is a Jedi in that he’s like, ‘Okay, I’m not going to murder these creatures [in the Ryloth arc of The Clone Wars].  They’re starving to death.  They’ve basically been unleashed against these people as a weapon, but it’s not their fault. They’re just doing what they do.  They’re just animals who wanna eat.’     "So the idea was–and I think there was an early talk about how, 'Oh, yeah, he’ll go running through them and slicing and dicing them and chop them all up or whatever, and save his guys.  And I’m like, 'Yeah, but that’s not really the Jedi way.  He’s not just gonna murder these creatures.’     "And I know the threat is [there], to save one life you have to take one, but the idea of him [is]: why can’t Obi-Wan just be more clever?  He basically draws them in and then traps them.     "It says something about who the Jedi are, they don’t just waste life arbitrarily.  And someone could have gone, 'Oh, yeah, but it would have been badass if he’d just ran in there with his lightsaber spinning and stabbed them all in the head!’  And 'Yeah, you’re right, I guess he could be that, but he’s trying to teach his clones a lesson right then, about the sanctity of life.’       "That is the underlying theme of that entire episode.  Which is:  A tactical droid is using the people as living shields.  Life means nothing to the Separatists.  The droids.  But life is everything to the Jedi.  And even though he doesn’t have to say that, it’s all through the episode thematically.“ It’s also Obi-Wan who teaches Anakin about kindness to mindless creatures in the Obi-Wan & Anakin comic:

"These beasts are nearly mindless, Anakin.  I can feel it.  They are merely following their nature, they should not die simply because they crossed our path. Use the Force to send them on their way.” Now, fair enough if you want to say Obi-Wan was taught by Qui-Gon, but also Qui-Gon is dead by that point and Obi-Wan growing into being more mature is his own accomplishment, not Qui-Gon’s, especially given that we see Qui-Gon himself being pretty dismissive to Jar Jar in TPM. This isn’t unique thing either, Padme is incredibly condescending to Jar Jar in “Bombad Jedi” and expresses clear annoyance with him to C-3PO when sighing over him.  Jar Jar is a character you kind of have to warm up to, pretty much the only one we’ve seen consistently being favorable to him is Yoda (and maybe Anakin, though, Anakin doesn’t really interact with him a ton) and Mace Windu warms up to him considerably in “The Disappeared” and even specifically is shown to be teaching him and helping him, which is a huge theme of the Jedi and how much they care.

So, ultimately, the point I’m winding my way towards is--the other Jedi do show kindness and consideration to Jar Jar Binks, including characters like Mace Windu, so if you’re judging the Jedi based on that, the conclusion of Qui-Gon somehow being more compassionate and loving is really pretty thoroughly disproved by The Phantom Menace and The Clone Wars themselves. So, he’s a brother to Anakin eventually but he’s not a father figure. That’s a failing for Anakin. He doesn’t have the family that he needs. He loses his mother in the next film. He fails on this promise that he made, “mother, I’m going to come back and save you”. So he’s left completely vulnerable and Star Wars is ultimately about family.  You could be charitable and say this is just from Anakin’s point of view that it’s a “failing”, but within the context of what Dave’s saying, it’s clearly meant as a more narratively approved take, not just Anakin’s point of view, and I really, really dislike the idea that Anakin--or anyone, really--needs a traditional nuclear family, ie a “mom” and/or a “dad”, or else it’s a “failing” for them. Setting aside that the idea that Qui-Gon would need to be Anakin’s dad to be kind to hi (which is ?????) is contradicted by The Clone Wars as well.  Yes, Qui-Gon is warm with Anakin in several scenes, which is what Dave is presumably drawing on to show that Qui-Gon believed the Jedi should be caring and loving, but you know who else is warm to younglings?  OTHER JEDI COUNCIL MEMBERS.

Those two scenes have the exact same kind of warmth to them.  Ie, THE JEDI ALL BELIEVED IN BEING LOVING AND KIND, NOT JUST QUI-GON.  The things evidenced to show Qui-Gon was loving and kind are evidenced just as much in other Council members, in Dave’s own show. As a bonus--have Mace Windu, known Jedi Council member, being super kind and loving towards a young Twi’lek girl he just met in a canon comic:

But I know that this is about the way the Council treated Anakin in The Phantom Menace testing scene, but here’s the thing--when I go back and I watch that scene and the Jedi aren’t ever mean to him, they’re neutral in an official testing situation, where they are trying to determine if he’s able to adapt to the Jedi ways.  They never once say he’s bad for holding onto his fear, only that he does--which Anakin digs his heels in and gets angry about, he can’t really even admit that he’s afraid and that’s a huge deal for the Jedi. I’ve made a longer post about it here (and here), but the basic gist is: - That scene has Yoda giving the famous “Fear leads to the dark side” speech which is almost word for word how George Lucas describes how the Force works, showing the Jedi are narratively correct - “Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi” may be from the sequels, but it is thoroughly supported by the movies and TCW and Rebels and even supplementary canon material, including that the Jedi literally design their tests around both Masters and Padawans for it (Ilum, the Jedi Temple on Lothal, etc. - Anakin cannot admit to his fears in that TPM scene - We have examples of Jedi younglings do admit to their fears and the point isn’t not to have them, but to face them--the younglings in “The Gathering” are the most blatant example of this, but it’s also pretty much the entire theme of Jedi: Fallen Order, especially when Cal goes to Ilum to face his fears and get another kyber crystal. The point isn’t that Anakin--who has very good reasons to be afraid! nothing in the story or the Jedi have said he didn’t!--is wrong or bad, but that he’s not a great fit for the Jedi life because he is “unwilling to accept [Jedi philosophy] emotionally”.  And they’re right about this, because this is how George Lucas describes Anakin in commentary: “The fact that everything must change and that things come and go through his life and that he can’t hold onto things, which is a basic Jedi philosophy that he isn’t willing to accept emotionally and the reason that is because he was raised by his mother rather than the Jedi. If he’d have been taken in his first year and started to study to be a Jedi, he wouldn’t have this particular connection as strong as it is and he’d have been trained to love people but not to become attached to them.”  --George Lucas, Attack of the Clones commentary And so this brings us to A T T A C H M E N T, which, yeah, we’ve been having this discussion forever, but I’m going to state it again:  Within Star Wars, ATTACHMENT IS NARRATIVELY A BAD THING.  It is consistently tied to possessive, obsessive relationships, to greed and an unwillingness to let things go when it’s time (letting go is a huge theme in Star Wars) and equating love with attachment is fundamentally wrong according to George Lucas’ Star Wars worldbuilding: “The Jedi are trained to let go. They’re trained from birth,” he continues, “They’re not supposed to form attachments. They can love people-- in fact, they should love everybody. They should love their enemies; they should love the Sith. But they can’t form attachments. So what all these movies are about is: greed. Greed is a source of pain and suffering for everybody. And the ultimate state of greed is the desire to cheat death.” --George Lucas, The Making of Revenge of the Sith If attachment and love were the same thing, then he would be saying, “They should love their enemies, they should love the Sith.  But they can’t love.”  The way George makes the distinction shows that, no, attachment and love aren’t the same thing at all, attachment is not caring.  Further, there’s another instance of him showing there’s an important distinction between relationships and attachment and the association of attachmets with possession:  "Jedi Knights aren’t celibate - the thing that is forbidden is attachments - and possessive relationships.” --George Lucas, BBC News interview So, yes, when Anakin is attached to people, it is directly tied to obsession, possession, and greed, all things of the dark side: “He turns into Darth Vader because he gets attached to things. He can’t let go of his mother; he can’t let go of his girlfriend. He can’t let go of things. It makes you greedy. And when you’re greedy, you are on the path to the dark side, because you fear you’re going to lose things, that you’re not going to have the power you need.”  --George Lucas, Time Magazine  “But he has become attached to his mother and he will become attached to Padme and these things are, for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments, a dangerous situation. And it feeds into fear of losing things, which feeds into greed, wanting to keep things, wanting to keep his possessions and things that he should be letting go of. His fear of losing her turns to anger at losing her, which ultimately turns to revenge in wiping out the village. The scene with the Tusken Raiders is the first scene that ultimately takes him on the road to the dark side. I mean he’s been prepping for this, but that’s the one where he’s sort of doing something that is completely inappropriate.“ --George Lucas, Attack of the Clones commentary ATTACHMENT IS BAD IN STAR WARS AS THEY DEFINE IT. Finally, I’m going to circle back to: Because Qui-Gon is different than the rest of the Jedi and you get that in the movie; and Qui-Gon is fighting because he knows he’s the father that Anakin needs. Because Qui-Gon hasn’t given up on the fact that the Jedi are supposed to actually care and love and that’s not a bad thing. Here’s the thing about this:  You know who else, by this logic, Qui-Gon should have been a father to?  OBI-WAN KENOBI. This isn’t said as “Anakin specifically needs a father” (which I think would be an interesting idea to bandy about and I’m not disagreeing, though, it’s complicated because of what Anakin refuses to accept emotionally), it’s said in a bigger context, that Qui-Gon is better than the other Jedi because he understands the need for fathers (and thus this ties into Return of the Jedi) and he’s ahead of the other Jedi, who apparently think loving and caring about people are bad things, but Qui-Gon does not treat Obi-Wan like his son.  Or, if he does, he’s not exactly a stellar dad about it. Within Master & Apprentice, there’s an incredibly consistent theme of how Qui-Gon thinks supportive things about Obi-Wan, but never says them aloud.  He thinks he should talk to Obi-Wan about the upcoming decision to be on the Council and then never does.  He could have explained why he kept Obi-Wan training the basics but he never does.  There are multiple instances showing that Qui-Gon is actually really, really bad at actually handling a young apprentice who needs him to talk to them about important things.  Qui-Gon continues this in From a Certain Point of View where he still never talked to Obi-Wan about everything that happened, even after he became a Force Ghost.     Damn, damn, damn. Qui-Gon closed his eyes for one moment. It blocked nothing; the wave of shock that went through Obi-Wan was so great it could be felt through the Force. Qui-Gon hadn’t thought Kirames Kaj would mention the Jedi Council invitation. It seemed possible the soon-retiring chancellor of the Republic might not even have taken much note of information about a new Council member. --Master & Apprentice     That comment finally pierced Qui-Gon’s damnable calm. There was an edge to his voice as he said, “I suspected you would be too upset to discuss this rationally. Apparently I was correct.”     “I thought you said my reaction was understandable,” Obi-Wan shot back. “So why does it disqualify me from hearing the truth?”    Qui-Gon put his hands on his broad belt, the way he did when he was beginning to withdraw into himself. “…we should discuss this at another time. Neither of us is his best self at the present.” --Master & Apprentice     Obi-Wan walked toward the door, obviously outdone. “At the beginning of my apprenticeship, I couldn’t understand you,” he said. “Unfortunately, that’s just as true here at the end.”     Only yesterday they had worked together as never before. How did Qui-Gon manage to get closer to Obi-Wan at the same time he was moving further away?     Just before Obi-Wan would leave the room, Qui-Gon said, “Once, you asked me about the basic lightsaber cadences. Why I’d kept you there, instead of training you in more advanced forms of combat.”     Obi-Wan turned reluctantly to face him again. “I suppose you thought I wasn’t ready for more. The same way I’m not ready to believe in all this mystical—”     “That’s not why.”     After a long pause, Obi-Wan calmed to the point where he would listen. “Then why, Qui-Gon?”     “Because many Padawans—and full Jedi Knights, for that matter—forget that the most basic technique is the most important technique. The purest. The most likely to protect you in battle, and the foundation of all knowledge that is to come,” Qui-Gon said. “Most apprentices want to rush ahead to styles of fighting that are flashier or more esoteric. Most Masters let them, because we must all find our preferred form eventually. But I wanted you to be grounded in your technique. I wanted you to understand the basic cadences so well that they would become instinct, so that you would be almost untouchable. Above all, I wanted to give you the training you needed to accomplish anything you set your mind to later on.”     Obi-Wan remained quiet for so long that Qui-Gon wondered if he were too angry to really hear any of what he’d said. But finally, his Padawan nodded. “Thank you, Qui-Gon. I appreciate that. But—”     “But what?”     “You could’ve said so,” Obi-Wan replied, and then he left. --Master & Apprentice     "I owe you that. After all, I’m the one who failed you.“     "Failed me?”     They have never spoken of this, not once in all Qui-Gon’s journeys into the mortal realm to commune with him. This is primarily because Qui-Gon thought his mistakes so wretched, so obvious, that Obi-Wan had wanted to spare him any discussion of it. Yet here, too, he has failed to do his Padawan justice. --From a Certain Point of View, “Master and Apprentice” (Further, in Master & Apprentice, Qui-Gon thinks that the Jedi give Rael Averross--who is HUGELY paralleled to Anakin--too many exceptions, were too soft on him because he came to the Jedi later than most and has trouble thinking of them as his family, and he thinks they should have been stricter with him.) It’s also readily apparent within The Phantom Menace itself:

You can take some charitable views of this scene, that Qui-Gon was pushed into a corner where he had few other options (and this is the view I generally take even!), but this is after the entire movie where he’s never once indicated that Obi-Wan was ready, has instead indicated that he still has much to learn (not just of the Living Force, but in general), as well as made it clear that he’s still teaching Obi-Wan, like on the Trade Federation ship. And I do think Obi-Wan got over this because he understood, because Obi-Wan actually is a very selfless person, he clearly cares (which is furthered by how we see him warm up to Anakin very quickly), but look at their faces. This was not a good moment, and they do somewhat make up, where Qui-Gon says that Obi-Wan has been a good apprentice, that he’s wiser than Qui-Gon and he’ll be a great Jedi--but if we’re counting that as Qui-Gon being this great Jedi, then you can’t say Obi-Wan failed Anakin, given that we show him doing the exact same thing, except better.  He tells Anakin, “You are strong and wise and will become a far greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be.”, echoing Qui-Gon’s words, but also he never threw Anakin aside for someone else. This is kind of a major undercurrent throughout The Clone Wars, where Obi-Wan never takes another apprentice, where he continues to teach Anakin, to support him, even to the point of occasionally co-Mastering Ahsoka with him.  “This has been quite a journey for our Padawan.” Qui-Gon’s treatment of Obi-Wan in this scene isn’t the worst, he’s kind about it later (though, he never actually specifically apologizes for this), but we can see that this is a moment where Qui-Gon hurts Obi-Wan and knows it. And you know what George Lucas has to say about Qui-Gon?  This: “So here we’re having Qui-Gon wanting to skip the early training and jump right to taking him on as his Padawan learner, which is controversial, and ultimately, the source of much of the problems that develop later on.”  –George Lucas, The Phantom Menace commentary There’s nothing about Qui-Gon being right or better than the other Jedi, but instead that Qui-Gon’s actions here are a source of much of the problems that develop later on. So, ultimately, I liked some points Dave made in that speech, it’s a beautiful and eloquent one, but I thoroughly disagree with his interpretation of George’s intentions for Qui-Gon and I thoroughly disagree that that’s what the movies, The Clone Wars (DAVE’S OWN SHOW), and the supplementary canon show about Qui-Gon and the other Jedi.  I still stand by my appreciation of Dave’s contributions to SW as a whole, I think he does a really good job at making Star Wars, but he doesn’t always get everything right and this is one thing where I think the canon and George’s commentary show otherwise, as much as I love his desire to defend the prequels’ importance in the story.  Because, my friend, I have felt that every single day of my SW life.

[ibijau]

Worst engagement AU // on AO3

Lan Xichen has a chance encounter with Nie Huaisang and, for once, it goes well.

warning for mentions of canon-typical corporal punishment on a character

The punishment for a lower case of assault is thirty strikes of the discipline rulers on the back. The punishment for not coming forward with a fault with due diligence is also thirty strikes. So is taking advantage of one’s position to commit a crime. Then, because Lan Xichen’s status is special, the total ends up rounded as one hundred strikes, since as future sect leader, the elders feel he ought to behave better than he did and be an example to other juniors.

Although it is not a light punishment to go through, Lan Xichen counts himself lucky. When he explained to his uncle some of what happened with Nie Huaisang, omitting any unnecessary details such as who exactly he kissed by force, he was sure his behaviour would have earned him not just the disciple rulers, but one strike from the disciple whips. He had also been terrified that his punishment would be public, but due to his position and the current political situation, Lan Qiren and the elders had the kindness of dealing with this privately.

When it is over, one of the elders severely orders Lan Xichen not to repeat such shameful behaviour. He is then released from the ancestral hall, and advised to take the rest of the afternoon to reflect on his conduct. So as Lan Xichen walks away, very slowly, his only question is whether he ought to meditate in his room where he is sure not to be disturbed, or in the cold ponds which promises some relief for his pain. 

The first one is probably what is expected of him, but the second is immensely tempting and Lan Xichen’s steps start turning in that direction when his path crosses that of Nie Huaisang.

It’s unusual, these days, to find him alone. It is even stranger for him to spot Lan Xichen and not turn around or pretend he didn’t see him. Instead Nie Huaisang, after only some hesitation, walks closer and grins.

“Told you we’d talk before our next meeting,” Nie Huaisang greets him.

“You did. Are you going somewhere, Nie gongzi? I don’t think I’ve often seen you in this part of the Cloud Recesses.”

“I was looking for you, actually. Everyone else has started studying for the finals, so I’m left on my own. I thought we could… chat?”

Lan Xichen pinches his lips. Meeting Nie Huaisang at such a time is really less than ideal when he  just wants to rest and meditate, but refusing this offer would be deeply unwise. It's the first time Nie Huaisang has ever sought out his company and Lan Xichen doesn't know how his fiancé would react to being turned down. Badly, if past interactions are to go by. 

"I would love to," Lan Xichen replies. "Do you want us to walk together, or may we go somewhere to sit?" 

"Well, actually…" Nie Huaisang hesitates, his usual assurance failing him. "Since you've said before… I thought we could go to my cabin and I could show you my paintings?" 

There's fear and uncertainty in the younger boy's eyes as he makes his offer. Lan Xichen doesn't notice it, too overwhelmed at being finally offered what he has wanted for months. Suddenly the intense pain in his back isn't such an issue anymore. 

“I would love that,” Lan Xichen says.

“I won’t be able to offer you tea,” Nie Huaisang mutters. “We’re not allowed to make it in the cabin anymore since I almost burned it down.”

“You what?”

His confidence slowly returning, Nie Huaisang cackles and, apparently on an impulse, he grabs Lan Xichen by the arm and starts pulling him along. The pace is a little faster than Lan Xichen would really prefer with the current state of his back, but he easily allows it when Nie Huaisang starts babbling about the incident which cost him the right to make tea in his cabin. It’s a convoluted tale, and one that involves the breaking of a number of rules, but it’s still a funny enough story. Nie Huaisang is a little shy at first, but after Lan Xichen chuckles a few times, he gets more exuberant until Lan Xichen is struggling not to laugh when they finally reach the cabin.

“Nie gongzi, I think you’re a menace,” he says as they go in. 

“I think so too, thanks!” Nie Huaisang proudly replies. “Well, just… go sit on the sofa, I’ll get my paintings. I mean, if you still want to see them?”

This time Lan Xichen does notice the other boy's uncertainty, which puzzles him. After how many times he's asked, it should be clear that he is very interested in Nie Huaisang’s work. 

"I haven't changed my mind," Lan Xichen insists with a smile. "Are we to expect your comrades to join us?" 

"No, Jiang xiong is conducting a group study and a lot of people joined since they noticed him and his disciples always get good grades. I think he kind of likes teaching, even if he always grumbles about it." 

With great care and a little difficulty, Lan Xichen sits on the sofa and tries to find a position that won't put too much strain on his back. He ends up sitting very stiffly and having to avoid resting against the sofa’s back. When Nie Huaisang joins him on the sofa with a stack of papers in his arms, he immediately notices. 

"It's fine, you can get comfortable," Nie Huaisang says with a half grin. "I told you, there won't be anyone to see you, so just relax. You said there's expectations about you but it's just me here, and I already know you're not perfect." 

It is not an attack. At least, Lan Xichen thinks it is not intended as such, but it feels like one all the same. 

"My back hurts today," he explains. "This is as comfortable as I can get right now." 

"Then why agree to come with me if you're in pain?" 

"I wanted to see your paintings, of course." 

Nie Huaisang is baffled by that declaration, his cheeks colouring a little as he looks away, preferring to focus on the papers he brought. 

"Lan gongzi, you're so weird," he mutters. "It's fine, we could do this another day… I'm not so cruel that I'd wish for you to be in pain." 

"I'll be in pain whether I'm here or somewhere else," Lan Xichen points out. "At least here, the company is good." 

The colour on Nie Huaisang’s face gets more pronounced. To distract from it, he all but shoves his paintings onto Lan Xichen’s lap. 

"There, enjoy I guess," he grumbles. "They're not as good as yours for sure, but these are my best ones, I think. Well, the least awful ones, anyway." 

Perhaps Lan Xichen should object to such depreciative language. If this happens again, he surely will. Right now though, he is far too excited by finally getting to see his fiancé’s works instead of contenting himself with stolen glances or forgotten studies. It was well worth the long wait. Nie Huaisang has progressed immensely since the rabbits that still hang in Lan Wangji’s bedroom. He may not have gotten good grades in class this year either, but Nie Huaisang’s time in Gusu was put to good use. 

When he paints animals, they look ready to leap off the page and go on with their own business. When he paints landscapes, Lan Xichen can almost hear the wind in the trees, the song of the river. Even his portraits, which Lan Xichen would admit are not Nie Huaisang’s strength, are still rather good and capture the personality of the model if not their exact likeness.

Painting after painting, Lan Xichen makes sure to comment on the quality of each work. It’s hardly a conscious decision, he simply cannot look at them and not point out how good each one is. Here and there, a very flustered Nie Huaisang tries to object that this particular work is a little weak, or that another one fails to follow the rules of what makes a good painting even if he personally likes it anyway. Sometimes, Lan Xichen agrees with the criticism, and offers his own opinion on what could be improved. At other times, he has to defend the creation against its creator. Rules are one thing, but beauty can transcend them.

“Lan gongzi, you don’t have to try so hard to get my good opinion,” Nie Huaisang mutters after such a speech. “I’m decent but not great, I know it, so there’s no need…”

“I haven’t said a word I did not mean,” Lan Xichen protests, more amused by his fiancé’s heavy blush than he’d care to admit. Nie Huaisang has been acting so confident and indifferent around him all this year, it’s nice to see him affected by something. “You asked me to be open and honest, and that’s what I’m trying to do.”

Nie Huaisang huffs, and grabs back the painting that sparked this.

“I guess Lan gongzi’s tastes must have changed a lot since last year,” he bitterly remarks. “For you to turn this encouraging…”

“From the first moment I saw one, I’ve thought the world of your paintings,” Lan Xichen objects, glad that nobody except his brother was there the first time he saw one of Nie Huaisang’s works. He’s more than a little ashamed of the way he retracted his good opinion after learning who, exactly, had painted these rabbits, but at least Nie Huaisang wasn’t there for that and it’s a relief.

Nie Huaisang huffs again, his blush calming down at last.

“You discouraged me from pursuing art last year,” he reminds Lan Xichen, “so clearly you didn’t think I was very good at it.”

“Oh. No, that was a different matter,” Lan Xichen says, feeling uncomfortable from more than just the pain in his back. “That was never about your skill. Back then, didn’t I already say the painting you gave Wangji was good?”

“Did you?” Nie Huaisang sneers. “I just remember you telling me that I should drop painting and focus on cultivation. That’s how bad I must have seemed to you, if you thought it was that much of a waste of time.”

Guilt shoots through Lan Xichen’s chest, radiating painfully in his body and making him tense, which in turns pulls on his bruised back. He doesn’t remember his exact words, but he’s sure that he never intended to imply Nie Huaisang was bad at art.

“It wasn’t like that at all,” Lan Xichen sighs. “I really did think you were very good, but I thought… I thought it would be selfish to encourage you.”

Nie Huaisang frowns and wrinkles his nose in disbelief, but he looks a little less angry already.

“Makes no sense. How is it selfish to tell me to do something I like?”

“I thought if I encouraged you, it would be because I would eventually benefit from it since it would ensure we had something in common,” Lan Xichen explains, looking down at the paintings on his lap. “While if I told you to study… everyone around us was talking about your cultivation and how it needed to improve. Frankly, it doesn’t impact me whether you have a high cultivation or not, while it certainly does change things if we have a passion to share. I thought this would be the right thing to say.”

“You discouraged me from art because you thought whatever made both of us miserable would have to be the better path?” Nie Huaisang gasps, definitely more baffled than angry now. “Lan gongzi, your mind is really twisted sometimes. And here I told myself you just thought I was too awful at it to pursue painting anymore...”

“You are excellent at it!” Lan Xichen protests, eyes snapping up toward Nie Huaisang. “Even back then, when I did not want to think well of you, I couldn’t deny that. In fact, it is your skill in painting that first forced me to reconsider what I believed about you. I’m very sorry if I made you doubt your capacity. You are a painter of rare talent.”

Nie Huaisang’s eyes open wide at this renewed praise, while his blush returns, more intense than before. He is very cute this way, and Lan Xichen finds that he likes the other boy when he’s flustered, just as much as he likes him when he’s confident and cocky. He wonders if there’s any aspect of Nie Huaisang he wouldn’t like. Aside from his occasional bouts of cruelty… and even those have never been unprovoked, so Lan Xichen can’t fully blame the other boy for that.

“Lan gongzi, you’re really too much!” Nie Huaisang grumbles, slapping his shoulder and shoving him slightly, the way Lan Xichen has seen him do with Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan. 

He would be happy to be treated with this sort of easy casualness, but the movement ripples through his back and he can’t help hissing in pain. Nie Huaisang notices and frowns.

“Does your back bother you that much?” he asks. “If you want, I probably have something for the pain, but you should get that checked.”

“I’m quite fine,” Lan Xichen assures him, only for Nie Huaisang to roll his eyes and jump on his feet, dropping the painting back on his lap before striding toward his bed. “Really, there’s no need… why would you even have medication here? All guest disciples are encouraged to seek out…”

“I’m a Nie,” his fiancé grumbles, dropping on his knees and wriggling under his bed to grab something there. Lan Xichen forces himself to look away. “My brother would never let me travel without the adequate necessities. I’ve got money saved aside, talismans, warning flares, and basic medical supplies. I’m sure it’s fine if I give you a few pills though. Ah, right there!” Nie Huaisang triumphantly exclaims, pulling a small, dust covered box from its hiding place. “It should at least make you feel better until you see a healer. But really, Lan gongzi, you’re unreasonable! You should have told me you were this unwell.”

“I’m not feeling so bad,” Lan Xichen replies, wishing he could rise up and go kneel next to Nie Huaisang to make him stop rummaging through his box of medication. A quick attempt at getting up makes it clear that it will take some effort, though, and he prefers to remain sitting for now to avoid giving the other boy any reason to worry. “I was happy you’d want to spend time with me. That’s worth a little discomfort.”

Nie Huaisang looks up from his box, clearly unconvinced.

“You swear you’re fine?”

“Maybe not fine as such,” Lan Xichen concedes with a grimace, “but not so unwell that you need to be fussing over me.”

Shrugging, Nie Huaisang carelessly shoves his box back under the bed and stands once more, dusting his knees.

“It’s your back,” he says in a tone that he implies he would never put up with pain if offered another option. “Hm… it’s almost time for dinner. Do you want to start going now, since you might need to walk slowly, what with your back that really doesn’t hurt at all?”

Nie Huaisang smirks, which Lan Xichen can’t help answering with a smile. It’s not the first time Nie Huaisang teases him, far from it, but it feels like there’s less of a bite to it at the moment. Maybe someday they’ll be able to joke together, or even to laugh. Just thinking of it, Lan Xichen’s heart beats a little faster.

“I don’t mind if we stay here a while longer,” he replies, hoping it isn’t too obvious how eager he is for more time alone with Nie Huaisang. “I really enjoy looking at your paintings.”

Nie Huaisang grimaces playfully, but still saunters closer.

“Lan gongzi, I’ll be honest,” he chuckles. “It’s a little embarrassing for me to sit here while you say all those nice things. If you want, I can bring the ones you’ve not yet seen to our next meeting, and then I can look at yours. It would be a nice way to pass the time, I guess.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Lan Xichen replies, ready to agree to anything if he can continue looking at Nie Huaisang’s paintings. “Or perhaps… if you’re still willing, what about another lesson? I’ve tried again to copy your style, but I’m still rather dreadful at it.”

Nie Huaisang’s eyebrows rise high on his face. “You’d still want to? It ended so badly last time… though I suppose that’s my fault. Knowing your brother, I should have expected you were like that about being touched.”

Lan Xichen shakes his head, slowly to avoid putting too much strain on his back.

“That time, I was just surprised. I wasn’t expecting you to help me that way, considering you didn’t like me too much then.”

“Oh, I still don’t,” Nie Huaisang retorts, his good humour dropping like a mask. “Though I dislike you a little less than I used to.”

Hearing that hurts, especially when seeing Nie Huaisang change his countenance from cheerful to disdainful so quickly once more. But since his voice doesn’t appear as venomous as it was all these other times, Lan Xichen decides to remain hopeful. It’s too soon for them to be friends, but he’ll take being hated less.

“I’ll take that as progress, and be content with it. As I said last time, that you’re willing to consider this at all is already more than I expected. And this isn’t me trying too hard!” Lan Xichen adds, recognising the expression on his fiancé’s face. “I mean that.”

“Lan gongzi, you’re just too much,” Nie Huaisang grumbles, grabbing the paintings on his lap and turning his back on Lan Xichen while pretending to put them in order. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Let’s start walking toward the dining halls, I’m starving and you’re going to be slow, I can just tell. Do you need help getting up?”

Lan Xichen carefully shakes his head, but hisses when he tries to leave the sofa. Sitting stiffly for so long did his back no favours. He is still wondering how to maybe ask for Nie Huiasang’s help when the other boy, having unceremoniously dropped his paintings on his bed, returns to his side and casually grabs him by the elbow to pull him on his feet.

“You’re just as stubborn as Da-ge!” he scolds. “He’s the same when he’s hurt, too proud to let anyone give a hand. I’m going to ask again, are you sure you shouldn’t go see someone for that?”

Even through several layers of fabric, Lan Xichen feels as though Nie Huaisang’s hand is burning him. It takes him a few seconds to realise a question was asked, and a few more to decide what to do. His back is killing him, if he’s honest, but the infirmary is much closer to the guest disciples' cabins than the dining halls, and that informs his decision.

“I can bear with it for now, don’t worry. I’ll go to the cold spring after dinner and I should be perfectly well again tomorrow or the day after.”

“So stubborn,” Nie Huaisang grumbles, but he doesn’t release Lan Xichen’s elbow. “Fine, it really is your choice, in the end. But let’s get going. I wonder what they’ll serve tonight? I’m a growing man you know, and all that rabbit food is stunting me. It’s your sect’s fault if I’m still so short, Lan gongzi.”

Lan Xichen chuckles, and doesn’t bother pointing out that it’s a very flimsy way to excuse his height when all Lan cultivators his age, and quite a few younger ones, are taller than Nie Huaisang in spite of never eating anything but ‘rabbit food’.

“There’s nothing wrong with your size,” he says instead as they leave the cabin, Nie Huaisang still holding his arm as if he were an invalid.

“Hush, I’m complaining, don’t start being sensible, I shan’t bear with it,” Nie Huaisang retorts, sticking his tongue at him. “Horrible rabbit food, I say! I shall perish of hunger. Already, I am wasting away.”

They walk slowly towards the dining halls, and reach them just as the bell for dinner rings. Now that there are more people around them, Lan Xichen feels somewhat self conscious about the way Nie Huaisang holds on to his elbow, but since his fiancé (now complaining about the weather in Gusu) finds no issues with being seen this way, Lan Xichen does his best to act unaffected as well. It does get difficult to keep a straight face when his eyes meet those of his stunned uncle, but thankfully the malaise doesn’t last since at the same time, Nie Huaisang spots his friends.

“Jin-xiong, you went to study with Jiang-xiong as well?” Nie Huaisang exclaims, dropping Lan Xichen’s arm and rushing toward his friends. “Betrayal! Since when can the two of you even be in the same room without having an argument? If I had known, I’d have come as well!”

“And that’s why we didn’t tell you,” Jin Zixuan retorts. “It’s impossible to study when you’re around, and some of us would like to pass, thanks.”

The two start getting into a playful argument until Jiang Cheng, never the most patient person around, gets tired and drags them both to sit down so they can eat. Lan Xichen watches them, and is amused enough that he doesn’t even mind having been abandoned so quickly. He did get to have Nie Huaisang to himself for a long while after all, longer than they’ve ever been together so far, and it is no small feat that they didn’t even have a single argument that whole time.

Lan Xichen takes the victories he can get.