#if some watery tart-

[fastofthekillones]

21

I'm just going to pin this post and use it to find weird tags that I have inexplicably written on something, mostly for my own gratification, but if any of you wonderful weirdos wanna look, feel free

[tojigasm]

Thinking very hard about Logan talking you through it

He knows you're close ultimately before you do. Seasoned by his many years of life, your tells are specific but not impossible to discern.

It's different each time he's come to realize. A different scent to you based on the mood you're in, how quickly he brings you there, your vulnerability, and how he speaks to you.

Logan's a greedy man. He knows that. And he knew as soon as the first time it'd happened that he shamelessly selfish in getting what he wanted.

You smell like cinnamon and vanilla and fuck if it wasn't better than all the drugs he'd ever tried combined.

A part of him still thinks he might be chasing your high.

He learned quickly how to manipulate you to get different responses. Testing out what you react to and which scent meant what.

When it's a euphoric intimacy, the smell of cinnamon and vanilla isn't so strong. It's diluted some, like a soft cloudy mist.

More emotionally frustrated intimacy smells far more tart, almost coppery. It often reminds him of blood in his mouth, soaking into his lungs and taste buds like tar.

When you're in a far more glum mood, you smell like rain on cement. He's starved for it.

You're so pretty beneath him. Eyes lidded and swollen lips parted loosely as he scissors his middle and forefinger against your velvet walls.

Logan bumps his palm against your clit and you let you a gasp – your hand jumping from the bedsheets to grip his forearm.

"Right there, huh?"

You can hear the smirk in his voice and you give him a nod at that, tucking your chin to your chest as he moves his other hand to press one of your thighs upwards to where your knee almost hits your breast.

He slips his hand from your cunt, moving to pull your other hand to hold your own thighs to your chest.

Wordlessly, he kneels and pulls you by your hips to the edge of the bed before hooking his arms around your waist.

Without warning, he runs the flat of his tongue up the length of your cunt to your clit with a deep hum.

You know he can feel you shiver beneath him by the way he smiles against the sopping folds of your cunt.

"Feel good?" He chuckles softly, looking up at you from between your thighs.

You're reduced to broken whines and choked gasps, but you manage a hum in response, readjusting your grip on the backs of your thighs as Logan slips his tongue past your folds.

You smell of faint cinnamon.

"Lo," you sigh, throwing your arm over your eyes with a chipped whine.

Logan hums into your cunt, the sharp of his nose rocking back and forth against your clit.

He unwraps his arm from around your waist, reaching upwards to weave your hands together with a soft squeeze.

"Haa... ahh." Your voice grows watery as Logan brings you closer to the edge.

"M'close, Lo," you breathe, readjusting your hand on your thigh to keep it close to your chest.

"I know, sweetie." He circles his tongue around your bundle of nerves before blowing a stream of air onto your clit, "m'gonna get you there."

When he sucks on your clit again, you're cumming almost immediately with a shiver that simmers itself down your spine to your toes.

"There we go. It's a big one, huh."

A wave of vanilla woven with cinnamon washes over him and he nearly cums in his jeans.

You hear Logan before you've noticed he's moved from between your legs to stand above you, thumb circling your clit softly.

Whining, you turn your head into his forearm beside you.

"Doin' so good, sweetie," He coos, stroking his hand, still held by your own, down the side of your face before placing a kiss on your temple.

Your smell is much more prominent there, as though it travels through the roots of your hair and tickles itself through your soft skin.

Another shiver runs down your spine, causing the air on your arms and the nape of your neck to stand.

"Need you." You sob, voice muffled by the skin of his arm.

He settles down beside you on the bed, chin propped up on the flat of his right palm, squeezing your hand with his.

"You're okay."

The vanilla sinners throughout the room, and he swears he can see it in the dust that floats past the Amber hues of his room.

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! Welcome to chapter 2! We're going to be attempting a nice lil fruit-focused quiche/frittata/pie thing. And yes, tomatoes are fruits.

Who says you cant eat totally normal things in a dungeon with definitely no monsters in them? 

You know what that means; Man-Eating Plant Tart!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Man-Eating Plant Tart?” YOU MIGHT ASKThe way its prepared in the show is akin to a frittata, but the crust is borrowed from quiche world.

Eggs

Whole milk

Bell peppers

Persimmons

Cherry tomatoes

Pitted green olives

Thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos

Salt

Pepper

In the show they use leftover hotpot stock, slime, and mashed up fruit as the batter ingredients. Fruit mush is easy to work with but I couldn't find any stand-in for slime that would cook correctly into what they made in the show, and the hotpot stock is just not thick enough to carry the base. It is too many watery ingredients at once. Needing a thickening agent, both gelatin and agar agar were tried. It was edible but the texture was… gelatinous. Regular egg and milk will serve for our purposes.

The next complication was the crust- so in the show its made with the skins of fruit, straightforward yeah? Well. You see it also has to be 1. Thick enough to bake without burning 2. Harden through cooking to be sliced and held and 3. Inedible. Lotus leaves? Plantain leaves? Really thin gourds? I couldnt find any historical basis for a savory food cooked in this method, or similar method, with an intentionally inedible crust. I could find a few dishes which used leaves as their crust, but none that hardened during cooking and even less that used fruit skin. I chose sweet potato skin for its visual match and texture. It is edible, and it is not a fruit.

I hope youll forgive me for these 2 major deviations as i wanted to keep it looking how it does in the show while also ensuring it tastes good.

AND, “what does a Man-Eating Plant Tart taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKFluffy, airy, savory, salty.

The density of the eggs is offset by the crisp fruits

And the saltiness doesnt overpower the remnant fruit-sweetness

(If you eat the crust) the sweet potato brings this nice muted, smokey, flavor

Spongecake-esque in consistency

Would pair well with cranberry or strawberry juice

Would also pair well with a mellow hot sauce?

. You can use heavy cream instead of milk for a creamier batter . Roast the fruit longer to remove more liquid if too wet (and vice versa if too dry) . Smoked paprika, pepper flakes, cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder would taste good in the mixture

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"A mixture of mashed up and cut up Man-Eating Plant fruit, slime and scorpion soup is poured into a pan lined with the flattened peel of the fruit and cooked before garnishing with some more fruit. Described as salty by the group."

From start to finish this recipe took 3-ish hours? Shredding the potatoes took the longest, so if you get them bagged itd be cut down. A very filling recipe and a good way to sneak veggies/fruits in if you have a hard time getting enough of those essential nutrients. The best advice i can give is to add salt/seasonings at every stage of the process, to build up layers. It makes a difference flavor-wise (even if its just salt). I advise against reheating if possible. The filling will make the crust soggy over time.

If you want to be closer to the cooking of the show, you could double the fruit amounts and mash them together while halving the amount of egg and milk. I hadnt tried due to budget reasons, but it should work with some finangling. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys with how todays recipe turned out <333

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do better, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

3 Eggs

13oz whole milk

2 bell peppers

2 small persimmons

140oz cherry tomatoes

12oz pitted green olives

34oz thinly sliced OR shredded sweet potatos

Salt

Pepper

Method:

Heat oven to 420f and grease a 9-inch pie pan.

Thinly slice (or shred) your sweet potatoes and squeeze out any excess moisture. Coat in olive oil, salt and pepper.

Press sweet potato mixture evenly into and up the sides of the pie pan.

Blind bake for roughly 25 minutes or until lightly golden-brown. No worries if the edges get crisp.

Remove pie pan from oven and set aside.

Core and chop up your bell peppers and persimmons. Coat with olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Line out on a baking sheet, evenly spaced, and roast for roughly 20 minutes or until softened. (you can do this at the same time on a separate rack from the pie crust if you have room)

Remove the stems from your cherry tomatoes, and drain/dry your green olives if canned.

Bring a frying pan to medium heat with olive oil. Add the green olives and sautee until their skin texture starts dimpling. Add the cherry tomatoes and continue sauteeing for about 5 minutes or until lightly browned.

Once the bell peppers, persimmons, cherry tomatoes, and green olives are all done, set aside to cool until just above room temp.

Lower the oven temperature to 350f.

In a mixing bowl combine your eggs and milk, add salt to taste. If you want other seasonings nows a good time!

Once uniform in color and texture, add your cooked fruit. Stir until evenly distributed.

Pour mixture into the potato pie crust.

Bake for roughly 40 minutes. The filling should be mostly firm, but wiggle *slightly* when you shake the pan.

Remove from oven and let rest for roughly 15 minutes before serving.

[tehkusogaki]

I turned 38 this year and can no longer say this, so I'm passing down the torch:

Me, remembering I'm 37 in two weeks. And I'm still on tumblr 🤣

[ms-demeanor]

I don't even know what to call this but oh my god.

I had leftover pie crust but not enough for a pie and three apples, which is not enough for a pie, and some honey I accidentally got water in and this isn't a pie and it's weird and it's so good.

It's kind of a take on my caramel apple pie in that the base components are apples, butter, and brown sugar but I also added two teaspoons of cinnamon and a few tablespoons of watery honey and half a teaspoon of almond extract. It was about half a cup of brown sugar and maybe a third of a cup of melted (salted!) butter and 3 tablespoons of potato starch.

Baked at 400 for 45 min.

The edges are covered in this foamy bubbly caramel stuff that like, hardens into candy as you chew it. I used envy apples so it's very sweet and just a tiny bit tart. The water from the apples and honey and the butter soaked into the very thin layer of crust so it's crispy rather than flaky in a very nice way.

It's not a pie, it's kind of a tart? But not. It's just really really good and it's frustrating when something I randomly mixed together to use up ingredients comes out well enough that I want to duplicate the recipe but the recipe includes stuff like "honey I accidentally got some water in when I was trying to decrystallize it."

[demonsword586]

Tartaros pp headcanons! (Just the nobles)

Bimet

- I imagine he is one of the few normal sized pp owners amongst devils. (Still,they are naturally larger than humans,so normal for a devil is still pretty impressive for a human.)

-Anyway I belive he is around 15 cm in lenght .

-You see the charm about this man's shlong is not in size like most people think but in it's shape.

- You see his tip is sharp. This man is a whore. With enough money,you could probably buy a night with him. And as a proper gold digger....he needs a sharp tool for the job.

-You ever saw the part of a flute in which you blow? Yea that's his tip

-Not only is his tip pointy but somewhere in the middle of his shaft he has tiny bumps. They're small and there's not a lot of them...but just enough for you to feel it when he ravages your insides.

-He thought about dipping his pp in gold like he does to his feet but immediatelly stopped after the first try. Mostly because the gold was dropping down way too quickly because of the higher temperature.

-He settled on just wearing a few thin golden cock rings. Also has a simple prince albert piercing

-From all the gold in the air,I woudn't be suprised if he eats it too. After a few years of chewing on metal,his cum got a certain yellowish color to it.

-I do think he cums a lot tho and it's watery...very watery.

-He keeps himself groomed most of the time. If you're serving the richest man in hell as his right hand,you gotta keep a certain level of proper hygene and looks to match.

- Also yes his pp does smell like pennies.

Valefor

- I think he's pretty similar to Mammon. He already works hard to have a body like his. I woudn't be suprised if that applies to his dick as well.

-As you can imagine....big. Not as big as Mammon's meat srick but very similar. Thick,long and hard as a brick. He should register is as a lethal weapon. In and put of the bedroom.

-At least he is aware of his own size,comparred to some other careless nobles. He knows he could actually hurt you and does everything in his might to prevent that,even if it means sacrificing his own pleasure for yours.

-Speaking of pleasure and cumming,he's another one of those breeding bulls. His cum is a bit thick but actually tastes pretty good. The most similar thing to it is a lemon tart.

-Back to his cock. It's a bit more normal whrn it comes to the shape. It's the kind of a penis that is pretty to look at but also scares you with just how big it is. In other words,a teddy bear kind of pp.

-He keeps his pubic hair growing. Of course,he does shave it off every once in awhile. But only when it gets so unruly it iches. But every other time? He just let's it grow. He just doesn't pay too much attention to his hair when he has to put so much work into growing out his muscles.

-But somehow has one of the healthiest hygene routines? Has like 12 diffrent products,all for a specific thing on his body. He's a good boy who takes care of himself properly.

-He does work out a lot tho,so he can't always be smelling like sunshines and manly chemicals. Even after many showers,there is still a small sprinkle of the sweaty smell on him. He is trying to get rid of it since he knows humans are a bit more sensitive about bad smells compared to devils

Eligos

- Small...the smallest penis owner in Tartaros nobility and he is damn proud of it!!!

-He's actually really happy with his size since smaller pps are way cuter than those muscular-looking dicks. It gives him a very cute bulge too!

- It's size is 11 cm.

- Some of his coworkers suggested he starts wearing some more gold but he refuses. After all,ribbons are way cuter than gold and very flexible in their usage too! He can wrap them everywhere even on his dick.

-Has a collection of diffrent types of ribbon fabric,each for a specific part on his body. There is so many pretty fabrics after all but not every one fits more intimate areas. For down there he uses a very soft,silk ribbon.

- Has a very good hygene too. Probably owns a whole cabinet of showering items. My man knows his stuff. He follows Orias's social media and they even give each other beauty tips in DMs. Paimon joins in on some conversations as well.

- Anyway back to his pp! We already got out of the way that it's small. Well it's also really sensitive! Especially on the underside of his shaft and the point where his tip is the sharpest. If you rub or touch him there,he becomes quite vocal. I don't mean those little whimpers but full on moans. When Mammon first heard him,he had to ask later if he was okay and if he needed a headpat. Poor man probably thought Eligos hit his balls or something.

-Speaking of balls,his are pretty small and round. His ballsack is a bit tight which makes his balls appear very adorable,like little marbles. They fit perfectlly in your palm too! Ah,but don't squeeze them,he'll push you away and cover them for a few weeks if he sees you.

-Man waxes. You see those shiny thighs? Yea he wants all of his assets to be like that. Smooth like an infant. He actually does the whole process by himself. Unless there is a place he cannot reach *cough* his ass *cough*

-Overall,a very cute little thing and slightly squishy. The color of it is just as his skin with his tip being a paler pink.

[qvrcll]

mention of injury, unstated relationship but you love each other dearly, mention of mizu’s past

i haven’t finished the series but wanted to write for her SO BADLY, she might be slightly occ im not sure (breaking into hives because of this) but here you go mizu nation, may u be fed FOREVER ^_^

mizu’s on a formidable path for revenge, and what better pill to choke on than leaving you, her best friend and keeper of her love and devotion, behind?

Mizu, who has known you since the two of you were but little nippers. Kids with enough knowledge of the world to know that it was dense and dark, places lit stem-winding, where she was uninvited and tables filled where she was not welcome. Still, you’d asked her for her name when she’d sat caked in mud on some clammy, piddling day. Still, you’d wrapped your arms around her shivering form during the deluge, taken up on her silent promise to “Be there when you wake up. Promise,” when the Smith’s fire bayed up behind her form, lighting the room in tinges and spills, red and then genially orange.

Still, you gather your things when she leaves in a single swear for revenge, catch her up in the snow and demand an answer, or refusal or something, other than that cold look she gets in her eye more than usual now. Your hands feel cramped, threading desperately within the skin to find warmth (which was once, too, her) but you hold yourself back, enforce bite behind your words. Flit back the tears that threaten to line the edge of your eyes — threaten yourself to bide your time and let her deal her blow with you. Leave you for good.

But it’s unexpected. Cruel. Sweet and smelling of tart, when she softens under your words. Her brows twitch when some breath hitches in your throat, bogged down and she knows it’s her fault. She’s leaving, keeping a place for you in that old, warm house, with its old and warm silence and her old and warm absence. Leaving you in the snow, whilst she leaves for blood, gore and teeth.

There’s no words out of her, just a simple, longer silence than her cruelness. Her kindness knows no curbs with you — so her crumbling hands, bearing your cheeks with patience and shivered judgement — come to surprise you, just as her kiss does. It’s cold, and when you catch her lip slowly, the two of you break into a frisson. She grips you tightly in time, hands that burn against your hips as her kiss comes to tear you at the throat, rips a dirge out of it with full force, so that when she parts from you for the air she needs, she quietens you slowly. In a way you have always done with her when her lips bled or her worth shrunk past her feet.

“Just take me with you,” you snivel against her, a child again, but holding the fraying edges of her apparel like she’d hold the fort here for longer, but Mizu lets you crumple the blue fabric beneath digits of bitter flesh. Looks at you with resignation and a little bit of that old warmth, too.

“It’s dangerous.”

“I know—I know,” a pathetic moan, “But you won’t be here.”

“I can’t.”

“Take me with you,” with a voice so hoarse, you repeat. Your fingers bind with the strings and Mizu grows airy beneath you, this affinity that she’s brewed for you (long when you were kids) coming crumbling down beneath her. She imagines a world on fire, flowers that eat at their own roots. A sky full of a burst of water, your watery eyes, the brutal flesh of her wound festering past her hip, her neck.

“I don’t want to lose you — you, out of all people. Please,” she grips your neck, kissing the skin and gooseflesh that simmers with softness, “I love you. Fuck, I really do.”

You fight with a sob then, because, of course you love her. And she loves you. And she will leave you here, with the snow as a tactile reminder of her departure and the cruel winter nights to wonder if she’s fed, if she’s alive, if she’s cold like the rest of the Earth.

“I love you—too,” a choke, “Mizu—“

And perhaps it’s the way you roll it off your tongue, the way the tenderness messes with her like a faint pair of hands, kills any sense of resolve.

Maybe she remembers your face in the dark, years prior, when you’d let her latch onto you, despite the mud and grime flicking into her own clothes. Your kindness, a friendship and the love she’d borrowed from you and made it her own, with sickly hands. With healthy hands. With growing hands.

And perhaps the blood strips off her own hands, clouds your eyes red where she remembered it not being. And perhaps, she grows a little afraid of being away from you, too.

Because she’s gripping you tight, tighter than life. The cold air no longer bothers the two of you, for there’s a newer, tender heat beneath the limbs that hold onto each other like a promise. One that she spoke of — a quiet utterance of “I’ll be there” — before you depart with her, holding the two of you together as one and the snow beneath your footwear.

© 2023 qvrcll ! do not repost any of my works on any platform.

[overkill-max]

Kinda funny how the Wyrm has to pick a new Harbinger every five minutes after he loses the last one, or they fail spectacularly or die grisly deaths. Like literally, Bavmorda is the Harbinger, then wait no it’s the Crone, nope no definitely Airk, ah shit lost him, uh . . . new guy, you, you can be the Harbinger

[natashaslesbian]

We Saved Each Other (Part Seven)

Summary: Your mom starts to notice some differences in your behaviour and she’s not the only one. With the help of Maria and Clint they figure out the next steps

Word Count: 1.9k

Parings: (Natasha x Daughter!Reader) (Natasha x Clint) (Natasha x Maria)

Warnings: Crying, panic attacks, talks of autism symptoms/diagnosis (written from personal experience with my own autism)

————

A week ago, you and Natasha moved into Clint’s barn. It had been recently refurbished so it was the perfect place for you and your mom to take residency in. There was a cozy fireplace in the living room and the windows held a beautiful view of the wide fields. Although you were excited to have your new mommy and be living next door to your uncle, auntie and cousins, you were having a hard time settling in. Natasha was starting to notice some differences in your behaviour, the way you reacted to light and sounds and the subtle ways you were a little different to Lila. The young Barton was the only example Nat had of a normal upbringing for a child and in the months you’ve been with her it was obvious you weren’t developing in the same way. Natasha just thought it was your red room upbringing, they didn’t exactly care about the well being of their widows.

The interruption to your routine once again had Natasha’s suspicions on high alert. You were seeming to thrive at the tower but this big change was taking its toll on you. It was yet another restless night for you both, you were again taking residence in your mamas bedroom. “Come on sweetheart, just close those pretty eyes and I’m sure you’ll be asleep before you know it” Natasha whispered “I don’t like the sheets mommy” you whined. Your mom had brought seven different sets of bedsheets by now, both for your bed and her own, but you seemed to hate them all. “I know baby, I promise I’ll go and get our old ones in the morning” Natasha said as she gently stroked your head. You were desperate for your old bedsheets, they were so soft and comfy, they felt like heaven. You continued to fidget a little longer until the exhaustion finally caught up with you and you finally fell asleep.

Breakfast was the next mountain to climb, there had been no time to grocery shop so the cupboards were filled with little to nothing from the Barton’s pantry. Every morning you had coco pops, but since moving in all there had been were cornflakes and you hated them. They went soggy in the milk and got stuck all around your teeth. Natasha has tried to offer you other alternates including pop tarts but all you wanted were your coco pops. “You won’t grow big and strong if you don’t eat your breakfast y/n” Natasha cooed in the hopes today would be the day you would actually eat the cornflakes (or anything else for that matter). “I don’t like it” you mumbled as your eyes became watery “oh sweetheart don’t cry” Natasha said as she came to your side “how about mommy takes a trip to the store after I pick up our sheets okay?” She suggested “yes please” you said.

You begged Natasha to take you with her to the tower, you couldn’t bare to leave her side. Your mom explained that there was work being done and it would most likely be very busy but still, you refused to let go of her as she tried to pass you into Clint’s waiting arms. “I think I’m just gonna have to take her with me” Nat sighed as she adjusted you on her hip. “You need a ride?” Clint asked “yeah that’d be great actually” Natasha smiled, grateful for the extra pair of hands. You fell asleep during the journey, giving your mom a few minuets to finally get a little rest of her own. “Somethings wrong Clint I can feel it” the redhead muttered as she looked down at your sleeping form. “Is she sick?” Clint politely asked, “no, no something else is wrong” Nat sighed “it’s something else, I just don’t know what”

As soon as Natasha stepped foot in the tower you bolted awake as the sound of drills invaded your head. You cried loudly into your mamas neck and wrapped your hands tightly around your ears. “Shhh sweetheart it’s okay it’s just some construction work remember” Nat cooed in an attempt to calm you down. “Let’s get up to your room” Clint suggested, leading you both quickly to the elevator. You calmed slightly when the doors finally shut, opening your eyes to blink up at your mama. “See you’re okay baby” she whispered. When the three of you arrived at your desired floor, it was apparent that the work being done wasn’t just confined to the lobby. You shrieked at the sudden appearance of hundreds of workers, all of them men and racing past you in every direction.

You squirmed out of Natasha’s hold and crashed to the floor in a panic. “It’s alright y/n, come on let’s go get our things” Nat said as she crouched down to lift you back up. “No!” You yelled as hands attempted to pick you up off the floor. You found your feet and they took you running through the forest of tall legs around you. “Y/n!” Natasha called after you, the fear of loosing you setting in quickly. She began to run after you, swiftly followed by Clint. The two bumped into every worker as they tried to keep their eyes on you but soon enough you were out of eyes reach. “Y/n!” Natasha called again, throwing a builder to the floor as he crossed her path. She came to an abrupt stop as the crowd around her dispersed and she was met with the many hallways leading to different parts of the tower.

Clint came crashing into Nats side and managed to stop them both from hitting the floor. “Natasha take a deep breath” he said as she met the widows eyes “she can’t have gone far we’ll find her” he assured. “Clin- Clint” Natasha stammered “I can’t- breath- Clint” she mumbled as she tried to take a breath. “Natasha, hey, look at me, you need to breath for me, like this ok” Clint said as he began to take deep breaths encouraging Nat to do the same. The red head didn’t know what was happening to her, sure she’d had many panic attacks and breakdowns before but they had never been this bad. By now, Clint had learned how to best help his friend when these moments arose, he led Natasha a few feet down one of the several hallways where it was slightly quieter.

Nat pressed her back against the wall and gently slid down to the floor. “Natasha” Clint said as he crouched done next to the redhead “deep breaths okay, in and out, you’ve done it before you can do it again” he calmly spoke. Natasha was just starting to regain control of her breath when Maria came running down the hall “Romanoff” she called, the widow immediately turning off her emotions when the agent appeared “it’s y/n she’s in your guys room” Maria said, out of breath from her small jog. Natasha didn’t waste a second as she stood to her feet and sprinted wildly down the corridor. She almost crashed into the door but managed to stop herself before she could burst in and scare you even more. “I’ll be here” Clint said from a few doors down, giving Natasha the space to comfort you.

“Y/n baby” Natasha quietly called as she slowly pushed open the door “are you in here?” You peaked your head out from under the covers when you heard your mothers voice. Her eyes landed on yours and she softly walked over to the bed “what happened sweetheart, did you get scared?” Natasha asked, you nodded your little head as you reached out to your mom “too loud mommy” you whimpered. Natasha didn’t hesitate for a moment as she came to scoop you up into her arms “oh baby I’m sorry, I should’ve known it might upset you.” She cooed as she wrapped you up in her embrace. You let our soft whimpers as your mama gently rocked you, the motion slowly lulling you to sleep. “You have a nap baby girl, I’ll get us home okay” Natasha whispered.

A soft knock on the door brought Nat back to reality “come in” she quietly said. “How is she?” Clint asked as he peered around the door “asleep, the noise scared her I think” Natasha said. “Can I talk to you? Can we talk to you?” Clint said, pushing the door wider to reveal Maria stood beside him. “What’s wrong?” Natasha said in a fearful tone “nothings wrong I promise, it’s just, well we wanted to talk to you about y/n. About maybe getting her tested for a learning disability” Clint said. “What” Natasha said, gritting her teeth. She gently placed you down between the sheets and ushered the two agents outside. “What the hell are you talking about?” She said frustratedly. “Well” Clint began “this morning in the car when you were saying that you thought something was wrong with her” he said “I didn’t say something was wrong with her” Natasha cut him off “she’s not stupid” she bit at the pair. “No ones saying she is” Maria said “she might just have some different needs” she finished.

“Are you calling my daughter special needs Hill?” Natasha questioned angrily. “Natasha calm down we’re just trying to help, we’re concerned and I know you are too” Clint said. “I guess she is different I just- figured it was because of the red room” Natasha said sadly “but it’s not is it” she sighed. There was a moments pause before Maria spoke up again. “I noticed a few things when we were at the store a few weeks ago, when she got lost. And Clint said he’s noticed some stuff to” she said. Clint cleared his throat “she obviously doesn’t like loud noises and crowds are defiantly an issue for her” he said “there’s other things as well like her delayed speech and her reaction to light. I’m worried it might be autism” he finished. “Autism” Natasha questioned. She had heard of it before but remained unsure of what it actually looked like, if any girls at the red room where found to have any kind of disability they were executed.

“So what do we do?” Nat asked, all she wanted to do was keep you safe so although the circumstances made her nervous she knew she would do whatever it takes to help you. “We can get a shield professional to asses her” Maria said “they’ll look at her behaviour over a period of time and then make a diagnosis” Natasha let out a nervous sigh “okay” she whispered. “Whatever happens we’ll be here for her, and you” Clint said. “Will they take her away from me?” Natasha asked, keeping her tears at bay. “No of course not” Maria said “Natasha it’s not your fault” she continued when she realised the root of Nat’s worry. “Hey look at me” Clint said “nothing will ever change the fact that she’s your daughter. This will just allow us to help her.” He said. “Okay” the redhead sighed “I’ll set everything up” Maria smiled, excusing herself to get back to work. “Why don’t I take you both home” Clint said.

The journey back felt longer than usual. You stayed soundly asleep in your mamas lap as she gazed down at you with love. Natasha was battling with the thousand thoughts racing through her head. Would people look at you different if you had a learning disability and how would you cope with another issue on top of the mountain of ones you already had. The widow pulled you closer into her chest as you began to squirm “shhhhh you’re okay, mamas here baby” she cooed. “Mommy” you whispered “bad dream” you whimpered. “I’m sorry sweetie. Mommy’s here okay. I’ll always protect you” Natasha said as she gently kissed your forehead. She meant every word, she would always and forever look out for you.

————

Finally the next part of WSEO is here! Sorry it’s been so long🩷

Taglist<3

@saraaahsstuff / @dannipotatoo / @tobiaslut t / @a-simpfortessa-lesbriean / @marvelnatasha12346 / @yelenasdiary / @mousetheorist / @ashadash0904

[drconstellation]

Once and Future Royalty

Just, stay with me on this one. I know its going to look crazy at the start, but trust me, I know where I'm going.

It all started with the 537AD scene in Wessex in the opening montage of "Hard Times," S1E3. Yeah, the one where Aziraphale is supposed to be a knight of the Round Table and Crowley is role-playing the Black Knight, and they are both so super-squeaky shiny clean - not a speck of dirt or mud on them. wtf! It looks out of place, unrealistic, and was bugging the crap out of me, like a stone in your shoe. It just didn't fit. I mean, why put a myth, a legend, into that sequence? Oh, OK, yeah, the preceding stories from the Bible, like the Garden of Eden and the Flood, aren't "myths" as well, you say? Hmm. In the context of the Good Omens AU, being a biblical based story, they belong there far more than the legend of King Arthur.

King Arthur, who supposedly united Britain under his rule during the late 5th century and early 6th century, was shown to have the divine right to rule by wielding the mighty sword Excalibur. Some stories tell of Arthur pulling Excalibur from a stone. Some tell of him receiving Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake. Either way, it was bestowed upon him by divine grace. Despite his triumph in battle, he left no heirs, as his queen, the fair Guinevere, was barren. She had a long-running love affair with the greatest knight of the court, Sir Lancelot, but despite this being an open secret in court Arthur would not put her aside. The knights of the Round Table in the court of Camelot were near-paragons of Christian virtue, and there are many tales of their search for the Holy Grail, the cup from the Last Supper of Jesus Christ.

In the end, mortally wounded in battle, Arthur was taken away for healing, and never seen again. It was said he would return when Britain was at it most direst hour to save the day once more. A "messianic" return.

The Once and Future King.

Now, I'm no Arthurian novice; I drank up all of T. H. White as a teenager, read the Dark is Rising multiple times, Marion Zimmer Bradley's interpretation and what ever else I could lay my hands on for a good couple of decades. And there is LOTS of King Arthur stuff around. You are not left wanting for anything new to read or consume. And I'll bet there are a fair few of you also out there who know a quite bit about the legend as well. Oh, and I can't tell you how many times I have watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I still walk around quoting it day-to-day, like the good little Gen-Xer I am, having grown up on that stuff. So I really should have listened to my intuition when bits of Monty Python kept popping up in my brain in response to other parts of GO I was thinking about. (Staaay, I said, stay with me here....)

I kept chewing away furiously on the Wessex problem, growling in feral frustration at it, but also kept reading and sorting out some other ideas and metas at the same time. Eventually I found the key in a tiny little post, about a small detail in the 1941 Blitz episode S2E4, of all places. I wanted to slap myself with how much was staring me in the face so obviously once the door opened. And the damn beauty of it is, that I already written about some it, out of context, without knowing the why.

OK. Where to start this journey...hmmm, back to Monty Python, because, guess what - the Wessex scene is actually riffing off one the more famous skits out the the Holy Grail. The scene is a masterpiece of political satire, from start to finish, but the relevant part here is this sequence:

In case you missed the salient points: Arthur claims he is king by divine providence, because he was given Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake. Dennis the peasant protests this waterlogged method of determination, mentioning ponds, watery tarts and a moistened... well, I hope you get the idea about where this is going.

Meanwhile, in 537AD, Wessex, as the mist swirls around them:

"It is a bit damp," complains a shiny silver Aziraphale.

Yes, Excalibur would be a bit damp after it emerged from the Lake. (vidavalor! Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm trying to have a serious discussion here! Please! And I wasn't even going to go anywhere near what the sword in the stone is really meant to be referring to...it's not even relevant to the discussion at hand, I swear! Well, there is going to be sexual relations mentioned but - oh, never mind...)

Right. Where were we. Lets leave those super-clean elite pretendy knights to swim off through the swirling mist back to their dry homes to write and file reports to head office, along with Patsy and the hired Igors, and Dennis can keep playing in his lovely muddy filth after he finishes protesting being repressed by the divinely-deluded Arthur. I've got a bit more to say about what Aziraphale and Crowley might represent here later but you need some more context first, so lets move on. I just needed to show you the first bit so you can see the Arthurian theme stretches across both S1 and S2, and will likely appear in S3 as well. More about that towards the end.

Ah, before I forget...another ref from the Holy Grail we need to cover:

This GIF, unfortunately, doesn't have the full exchange between the peasants, which is this:

P1: "Who's that then?" P2: "I don't know. Must be a king." P1: "How can you tell?" P2: "Because he doesn't have any shit on him."

Ah. Er. OH!

Have you made the connection?

Who have I been emphasizing as being unusually clean in their Arthurian setting? That's right, Aziraphale and Crowley.

What's this implying? That they are royalty. Celestial royalty. Maybe not kings, but how about princes? You know how we've been discussing whether Crowley was a once at least an Archangel, and there is even a hint that he was a fallen prince of Heaven given during the replay of Gabriel's trial? (Not the prince, but a prince - a seraphim) And that Aziraphale may have once been Raphael, and may be again in the future? Once and future royalty. To me it adds weight to the past discussion, and helps to explain the assumed authority expressed in these two scenes here: On the left, Aziraphale takes control inside the book shop as the angels and demons argue who is going to punish Gabriel and Beelzebub (finally found it after several months!) and on the right, Crowley is shouting at the assembling demons in the street that they are "out of order."

Onward, Patsy. (I hope you're still with me.)

1941, the Blitz part 2, minisode.

We've found Excalibur! On to Camelot!

[Edit note: I've added a few GIFs and screen shots into the sequence of parallels above because I was thinking over a few things since I posted and felt this actually sat better. To try and explain, as they don't exactly match as I would like, in the Holy Grail movie, King Arthur and the knights he has gathered rock up at the foot of Camelot and gaze up in awe at it. "Camelot!" Arthur declares to the party. "Camelot!" Galahad echoes in excitement. And a third "Camelot!" comes from Lancelot. What do we get in GO? Aziraphale leaps out of the Bentley (Crowley's black horse) and declares "The theater! Sophocles! Shakespeare!" I swear, if you put the two side by side, they would match. It's not just a reminder of how much time Aziraphale has seen pass by, or that we are seeing a tragedy play out. But damn it, I could so just see Aziraphale attending a Sophocles performance in Athens back in the day...]

Camelot was King Arthur's castle and home of his court. In S2 of GO the Windmill Theater is established as our court of Camelot where our 1941 Blitz-era Arthurian drama is to play out, involving Furfur and the zombies.

Yes, poor old Furfur. Two's company, three's a crowd, as they say. Now we know we're in Camelot, we need to be reminded of the central tragedy of the Arthurian story, that ultimately led to the golden kingdom's fall. Lady Guinevere, Arthur's queen, famously loved Sir Lancelot, and the two were passionate lovers. It was essentially a love-triangle at the top, with Arthur being jilted, but he wouldn't/couldn't discard his queen. Where do we see this playing out in 1941?

Furfur, pleased with himself for catching an angel and a demon in the act of consorting together (with the help of the zombies,) barges into the backstage dressing room, and confronts the lovers with their crime. But who is playing who in the Arthurian love triangle? I would say Furfur is clearly caught in the role of Arthur here. Consider the following exchange:

FURFUR: Hmm, well, well, well… What have we here? AZIRAPHALE: Sorry, have we met? FURFUR: Oh, no, you never had the pleasure, but… we have, haven't we? CROWLEY: Have we? FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember? CROWLEY: I remember going into battle, I don't remember being there with you. Sorry. FURFUR: I was right next to you. We did loads together. You use to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat. Anyway, whether you do or whether you don't, it doesn't matter. I'm here to inform you, as a representative of the Higher Powers of Hell, that you, Crowley, are in breach of the Infernal Code. Consulting and collaborating with an angel, Fell the Marvelous, aka… [opens book] Azirapalala. Azirapapap. Aziphapalala. AZIRAPHALE: [annoyed] Aziraphale

Furfur claims a past intimate relationship with Crowley, which Crowley spurns offhandedly. Crowley is playing Guinevere here, jilting Furfur/Arthur, which leaves the demon-smiting Aziraphale standing in for the handsome hero Lancelot (with his French connections, no less), and doesn't he make us weak at the knees when he drops his voice an octave in dominating disgust. (Is it suddenly getting hot in here...? Phew!)

Interestingly, looking back in S1 at 537AD Wessex, though, I would say that Crowley was Lancelot as the Black Knight, a role that Lancelot sometimes played in the legends, and Aziraphale would then be the fair maiden Guinevere. It certainly plays into Crowley's long term role of playing the knight who comes to the rescue of Aziraphale's princess in distress. Excalibur was no where in sight, perhaps still beneath the waters of the lake. Nor Arthur. Perhaps it was still too early in the story then...

I had originally suggested in my very first post that Furfur was given a stag as his demon avatar because he was wearing horns for being cuckolded by Crowley. But I wasn't quite thinking about it in context with the Arthurian legend! The stag is also often associated with royalty, plus while wandering around the medieval bestiary website that someone linked to, it interestingly notes that the enemy of the snake is the stag and the stork (Shax's avatar.) Ah ha!

So how can we extrapolate this knowledge into a possible appearance of the Arthurian theme in S3?

Will we see the love triangle of Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot come back into play and cause more chaos? I'm wondering if it might have something to do with the Fall.

Or will our lovers bring down a divinely-appointed ruler via their committed behind-the-back defiance of expected propriety?

Will Excalibur appear from beneath the waters, perhaps in another form, to declare a new king?

Could it even be a combination Jesus/Arthur, King of the World, returned? And they turn out to be a very naughty boy, disappearing into the night clubs of Times Square, New York, and that's how they lose him? (Social media viral sensation, anyone?)

I wouldn't be half-surprised if Greasy Johnson's name turns out to be Arthur, actually.

And no, I haven't forgotten that Adam's dad was named Arthur as well.

Bring on S3!

**Bonus**

If you've made it this far and you're thinking:

Let me leave you with this last connection.

In the back stage change room, remember Furfur delivers these lines:

FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember?

On the first level, he is referring the Great War in the Good Omens AU.

On the second level, Furfur is paraphrasing Milton's Paradise Lost.

On a third level, I can (and will in a future meta) connect this back to the training initiative paintball fight at Tadfield Manor in S1.

And even deeper on a fourth level, if you do know the Holy Grail movie well, you'll remember there is an odd little subplot in it, that infers that the whole King Arthur and his knights thing is merely a full-on violent cosplay that is murderously rampaging across the countryside in the present day with the police in hot pursuit. It's a strange juxtaposition between reality and dream, and you aren't quite sure what it is real or not. The ending is bizarrely and abruptly surreal as the two story lines collide in the heat of battle, as the police turn up and arrest the combatants. A bit like this:

[proboblynotstriaght]

Okay so screenshots of episode 46 part 2

"You can't just become the ruler of a kingdom because some watery tart throws you a sword- (breaking character) sorry I had to"

"I think that's just public mastubation" "ALLEGEDLY MR.KREMY"

"Well if it is public mastubation you can't do it here this is a private courtyard" "Well, not if you all are watching me" Hand in hands, they are killing me

"That doesn't count we're friends" Frost, what the fuck Frost "They've seen you masturbate many times" NIKKIE, WHAT THE FUCK NIKKIE

"I have two semi-conscious kempestri in my pack" "They've never seen me masturbate that's perfect!" "This is turning into a weird power fix" every time I type masturbate something in my soul dies a little bit and then I start laughing

"Look we're not going to do any of this" "Watch, Watch with your mushroom eyes"

"Oh, I'm the Jabberwock and only a bitch couldn't behead me" I'M SOBBING GRICKO WHY

"Oh he's such a good listener I'm not gonna nag at him as soon as he get's back from the pub"

"I've never had fitness while galumphing"

"If end up missing out on the chance to look like *guy from final fantasy four* who has a big bronze sword on his back but all he ever does is punch people, I'm going to be very upset" "Gideon what the fuck are you talking about"

"EEEE NAT 20!"

"JABBERWOCK DEEZ NUTS!"

Richie is putting his hair up, he senses combat

"TORBEK TOLD YOU IT WOULD GET MESSY" "OH that actually is what galumphing means!" "Oh that's graphic"

Gideon trying to dance while being entirely unable to dance

"Natural 20" "That's outrageous"

"But is it more of less wild than a night at Blue Jaysim- (dissolves into laughter)"

"DO NOT FINISH THAT JOKE"

Richie : *does the okay thing that Gricko does*

Nikkie : RIch I swear to God that if you do that to me

"But Mr.Kremy, what does this have to do with the elderbean of virginian sails" "What the FUCK are you talking about?"

"Ah Torbek now that I have been galumphed apon I have come for your soul" "AHH IT'S THE ELDENBEAST OF VIRGINIAN SAILS"

"Can we not grow and change and become better people?" "I'm sure we could but like, why?" You'd think this banger line was important. It really isn't, the DM is not even paying attention

"Well I kinda miss the sword" "It's alright Gid we got a key now" and to think they were fighting not even 10 minuets ago

Marionette Gideon

"Well, Torbek doesn't want to alarm anybody, but there's a snake in Torbek's boot" Andy is so happy he get's to play cowboy Torbek right now

Derek going through all twelve stages of grief "Keep the snake in you pant's tobek we've talked about this"

"What the fuck am I looking at?!" "Tobek's not really sure, but Torbek is sure that the snake, run's all the way down Torbek's pant leg"

"Gricko, you become a clown, happy and filled with joy" Andy is slow clapping, this had to be the one Nikkie wanted

"Oh is he like full human size?!" "Yeah!"

"Well, Torbek once knew a guy who would call this guy, highly marketable" looks directly at Kremy

This cannot be the episode I get three parts of screenshots in I say making another post that will probably include 30 more screenshots

[quitealotofsodapop]

Hmm...if we go by fanon that the peach tree by the hut is one of the immortal peach trees SWK grew after throwing up a pit he had swallowed...

I am simply curious if Peaches of Immortality taste the same across the multiverse and I think this bunch of monkeys would also want to indugle in that idea.

Would be funny, after cutting up one into slices, they tasted differently to each, like...

"Damn, who put a factories worth of sweetener in here? I can feel cavities forming!"

"Why is it spicy?"

"Mine tastes like water...."

...etc.

Went down a small rabbit hole.

Peaches of Immortality are supposed to taste like ambrosia and nectar of the gods - and one line in Journey to the West suggests that the wine made from it makes other alcohols taste of ash.

But I hc that the taste of the peaches is affected by how the eaters see their own relationship with immortality and the Heavens as a whole. The Peaches in each of the Monkey's worlds taste is very different despite the peaches being techincally the same species.

Lego Monkie Kid: His taste *very* sweet. Addicitiively so. After a while the aftertaste reminds one of chewing gum thats had it's flavoring "chewed out". Marvellous on first bite, but the last leaves you yearning for something different. The wine tastes like the best champagne, but it leaves a terrible hangover.

HeroIsBack: Has a firm snap to the flesh that prepares you for a mild tartness within. After the inital taste it becomes sweeter. You'd find yourself satisfied with just one fruit. The wine is very heady, you get drunk very quickly.

Reborn: Very mushy and a little sour. Although one may see it initially unpleasant, the aftertaste is far more forgiving. You're tempted for one more. Wine is like a limoncello, great when mixed into an icy drink.

Netflix: Nothing. The Peach tastes like nothing. What a waste. The wine is even worse - maybe it's only meant for cooking?

NewGods: Tastes like peach-flavoured medicine. Something you have to take rather than enjoy. You'll probably just eat one half and save the other for later. The wine is a little better; tastes like an expensive rose but not extraordinary.

2000sCartoon: Tastes like a normal if-not-very-watery peach. You don't get what the big deal was. You would have been just fine with a regular peach from home. The wine tastes like sweet water.

Meihouwang: Tastes obnoxiously sweet. Like a whole bag of halloween candy. After a few bites you're done - your teeth start to ache. The kids seem to really like it though, and go through a whole bowl in one sitting. The wine is similarly sweet, like a syrupy liquer.

Smash: The shape of the fruit is familiar, but the taste is anything but. You'd swear that there was some sort of cinnamon-like spice inside of the flesh. It's addicting and you don't blame those who would eat a tree's worth in a single frenzy. The wine has a surprisingly low alcohol content, like a wine cooler.

[mazurga]

signifying by divine providence

Previous gifs of not-Excalibur:

some watery tart

Excalibur

farcical aquatic ceremony

no basis for a system of government

[corie-is-writing]

↳ ❝ [S Y N P O S I S] ¡! ❞

Y/n L/n, a simple minded reader, is one of the biggest fans of a popular web novel, Twisted wonderland. In their shock after finding out it has ended, they froze in the middle of a busy street and got hit by a truck.

Dizzy and confused, they have awoken in a coffin in the world they adore so much, and must use their knowledge to survive and stop the boys from overblotting.

↳ ❝ [M A S T E R L I S T] ¡! ❞

↳ ❝ [THE CRIMSON TYRANT] ¡! ❞

˗ˏˋ The lion’s tail ´ˎ˗

The sweet scent of pollen mixed with a foul, almost rotten scent tickled your nose as you sneezed. Eyes a bit watery as the lush and blooming sight of herbs and shrubs blends in with the trees and bushes of the woods.

“Geuh…So many flowers.” You sneeze again.

Shortly after that joke you pulled, Trey had told you and your friends that the best way to apologise to Riddle would be by baking a mont blanc tart. So you and your friends decided to pick some (or rather, too many.) chestnuts to make it.

(Unfortunately to you, you were forced to apologise as well because the joke didn’t go too well.)

So now you and the rest find yourselves in the woods behind campus, picking chestnuts.

“Whoa! There really are a ton of chestnuts ‘round here!” Grim looked around, jumping excitedly at the sight before letting out a hiss– “Myah! The chestnut spines pricked my paws!”

You picked him up, gently caressing the hurt paws as his ears flatten.

“We can’t do this with our bare hands.” Deuce speaks up. “And we need something to put them in too.”

“Maybe we can find some supplies in the botanical garden?” Ace suggests, get a nod from you and Deuce.

“Let’s take a look.” Deuce says, taking the lead as he strides to the garden.

𓆩♡𓆪

Entering the garden, you greet the greeny scenes with a sneeze.

“You okay, prefect?” Ace asks, raising a brow in concern.

You nod and smile, “Just allergies, I’ll be fine.”

“This place is rather large, we should split up and look for a groundskeeper.” Deuce suggests.

“Sure, dibs on the right side.” Ace says, heading off while Deuce takes the left. You and Grim are left to continue looking around in front.

“Hey, come look at this!” Grim calls out, sniffing a bush of various kinds of fruit that emit a strong sweet scent.

“There's a ton of fruit growing here! Smells like they're ripe, too!”

You smile at the excited beast, and turn your gaze to the ground. Walking around– you notice something long flickering against the ground.

Smiling mischievously– you raise your foot and stomp it as hard as you can.”

“KYAAHHHHH!!”

You expected a scream, but not that kind of scream.

Clearing his throat, the victim of your actions scurries back as he sits up straight. Sending a glare that feels like a predator circling a helpless bunny to your direction with his fangs bared.

“Hey! You got some nerve steppin' on my tail like that.”

You smile, feeling your heart bang against your chest as you suddenly somewhat regret your decision.

But oh well, you never really liked him in the early chapters anyway so why hide it?

“Why, I’m so sorry sir!” You bow, your voice insincere and sarcastic. “I thought your tail was a grotesque snake, I never thought it was a part of someone.”

Your innocent seeming eyes land on his face as he gets up, he snarls at you and your act– his tail twitching as he huffs.

“Are you the groundskeeper?” Grim pipes in, eyeing the lion up and down. “Don’t think you should be talking to students that way, bud.”

“There isn’t anything worse than being in a good nap and havin’ somebody step on your tail.” The man huffs, you and Grim just think– ‘Why sleep here in the first place..’

Leona blinks, taking a good look at you one last time as realization sets in on his face. “You..I know you..”

‘Oh boy, here comes the daily “you’re magicless” reminder.’ You sigh, staring blankly.

“The one punch kid?”

“What.”

You feel your brain go blank as you stare, dumbfounded. “One what.”

Leona ignores you as he gets all up in your personal space, taking a whiff of your scent.

“What the fuck are you doing.” He takes a step back at that, his nose scrunching up.

“When was the last time you showered?”

“When was the last time anybody loved you?”

Leona blinks, his brows furrowing at your words. Annoyance washing over him as he lets out an exasperated sigh.

“I guess it’s true..you really don’t smell of magic at all.” He softly says, what does magic even smell like? “Yet you still managed to send those kids flying..”

You’re really starting to regret ever drinking anything, but at least the potion will hopefully be useful in the near future.

“Well, it doesn’t matter how strong you are.” The air turns cold as Leona digs his heels to the ground– his hip slightly turned. Guess the apology didn’t work. “You’re not getting away with stomping on my tail like that, that’s costing you a tooth.”

“What kind do you want?”

“What.”

The question catches both Leona and Grim off guard, slowly blinking at you.

“What kind? Human ones?” You repeat, a blank expression on your face as if it’s the most normal response in the world.

“Want them shiny white, gold, yellow, maybe a lil’ sharp?” Leona backs up.

“I don’t stop at just teeth too, I’ll give you a tongue if you want.” You suggest, “Or a nail, maybe a heart if the laws here are different.”

“What the fuck-“

“Leona! There you are!”

The three heads turn to the new guy calling out to Leona, walking towards him and sparing a quick glance at you and Grim.

“I knew I'd find you here! We got after-school classes today, reme-“

Before he could even finish, Leona immediately grabs his shoulder and drags him away.

“Wha- HEY?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING??”

“Shut it, I don’t want to continue staying even a second here any longer.”

You watch as the two leave, pouting childishly. “Ah, poo~ I scared him away.”

Grim looks at you with a concerned expression, your face suddenly flicking to a more cheery and carefree expression.

“Oh well~! Let’s get the chestnuts already.”

[rjalker]

Reposting because the OP is deactivated and can't add the ID to the original post. These are slower because I had to recreate all the GIFs because tumblr doesn't let you download them and I don't feel like having to manually edit them to be faster again.

[ID: gifs from the movie Monty Python and th Holy Grail (1975).

The first gif shows two peasants digging in the grass, one looking up towards the camera and speaking to someone offscreen, saying, "Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."

The second gif shows the peasant's face from closer as they continue, "Suprememe executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcial aquatic ceremony." Someone off screen commands, "Be quiet!"

The third gif the peasant continues, "You can't expect to wield suprememe executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!" The voice from offscreen shouts again, "Shut up!"

The fourth gif has the peasant now sitting up straight and saying, "I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"

The fifth gif shows the peasant now standing, being attacked by someone in a crown and white robes, who is shouting, "Shut up! Will you shut up?" The peasant just shouts in reply, "Now we see the violence inherent in the system!" The other peasant walks away.

The last gif shows the peasant struggling in the grip of the nobleman, who shouts again, "Shut up!" but the peasant just shouts, "Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

End ID.]

From Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), dir. Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones

[mrscakeishere]

new tag game fuck it

For my writing pals, mostly. But Who's Counting. It's cocky hours but make it communal.

For as many as you want of your published works, pick your favorite line/paragraph and post it up here. Let yourself feel proud of your creations.

I was tagged by @thescholarlystrumpet and @polychromicron-persei-8.

Ok, here are my solo faves:

Wellington's Second Coming (Mature)

Sergeant Maaka placed his elbows on his desk and began searching through his encyclopedic knowledge of the paranormal to find something that could match two arguing middle-aged English men having a row over a younger man while taking a moment to disparage his country before vanishing into thin air.

Angels are from Heaven, Demons are from Hell (Mature)

Uninspiring blowjobs are ones you give to someone you have loved for a very long time, but you currently would rather be doing almost anything else.

The Layover Before Home (Mature)

Either way, as far as Aziraphale was concerned, this all meant that the Bajorans were the spiritual equivalent of being the smallest matryoshka in a set of Russian Nesting Dolls.

Pass The Remote, Angel (Mature)

“He said to tell you that he hopes you enjoy Agent Doggett,” Muriel chirped.

Aziraphale studied Muriel’s face to see if there was anything in their expression that would provide a clue as to Crowley’s meaning, but Muriel only returned his gaze with their usual glowing, innocent smile.

“Did he say anything else?”

“He said he’s not returning the blanket.”

A Demon Gets His Due (Mature)

“Did you know there's a tag called ‘Crowley Needs A Hug?’”

“I did not.”

“I don't know why anyone thinks I need a hug.”

The angel snorted.

And of course the collabs with @polychromicron-persei-8 (so I'm choosing her lines):

An Ode to Eclairs (Explicit)

He tried to mentally flick back a page to confirm, but the fantasy had rapidly deteriorated into a classic case of too many cocks.

The Long Road to Meatballs (Explicit)

“I don’t want to feel like you don’t have a choice but to be here. I want you to choose me.”

He met Aziraphale’s watery gaze, waiting.

“Mmm-hmm-m-mm!”

“Oh! Right, sorry.” He undid the clasp.

Sensors and Sensibility (Explicit)

“I’m not fellate—” he looked around, leaned in, lowered his voice. “I’m not fellating it. I’ll have you know that confit courgettes are extremely delicate, and this is my patented method of drawing them into my mouth so as to appreciate their tender texture as well as their buttery release.”

A Not So Secret Santa (Teen)

Aziraphale pointedly didn’t mention the stash of fondant fancies he’d left out on the kitchen counter just a few hours earlier, even now picturing them half guzzled by vermin and covered in little brown hundreds and thousands.

Ok picking out lines is hard! Now, on to the tagging! And trying to pick some new folks: @lemon-tart-221, @mellow-cello-charm, @ineffable-obsession