#if reiner dies and someone laughs at it or makes jokes or tries to say its the best thing that happened to snk I am blocking them

[quiveringdeer]

Porco wouldn't have known any better, just basing it on Ymir's fragmented memories. But I agree with you. I did hate that too, as if to imply that Reiner didn't have his own personality and was clinging onto Marcel even after he died. While there were implications that that may have been the case in the beginning, I do believe he fleshes it out himself. Reiner's a nice guy. A nice kid, always have been. Just really focused on his goals. But I think he's friendly enough; having Marcel as an inspiration to be more assertive is the push he needed to come out of his shell and start being more than what he was in Marley, given that now he has the chance to be better; be there for people who actually look up, need, and respect him.

That being said. I do like what you mentioned about you being his friend and be the first one to ask him out. You're the instigator, the one who makes the first move. Specially in that setting you mentioned where his common relationships are hookups. You'd have been expressing intent, but he's so dense, but also because you're his buddy, he misses that intent while being focused on someone else.

Like, imagine. AUverse coz I can't think of a canonverse yet. You've been friends with him for so long. The type of friends that can diss each other or be each other's wingman. You know his little crushes but at the same time he's too shy to act upon them, so you help them out. But to no avail. So, he ends up hooking up with random people at parties. The wrong kind, the wrong crowd. And at the start you warn him, telling him to watch himself. Only for him to fall deeper into the routine because, as you mentioned, he gets that fix of having someone to hold and someone holding him back. But then you notice little changes in him brought about by those odious influences and you just snap. Pull him aside one time and just chew him out.

Y/N: Do you even see what's happening to you? You've been missing your classes AND failing them, you've missed club practices, the tryouts for this season. Who the hell are you even any more, Reiner?

Reiner: C'mon, Y/N. It's not like it's a big deal. C'mon. Don't sweat the small stuff, yeah?

And he tries to swing his arm around your neck, being all buddy-buddy. But you punch him on the shoulder, like you mean it.

Reiner: Hey, the hell's wrong with you?

Y/N: The hell's wrong with me? The hell's wrong with you!? Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth? Look at you, you're ruining yourse--

Reiner: SHUT UP. Not another word from you. Don't you think I know that?! You think I enjoy this shit? Are you expecting an apology from me? You think that'd make this-- make me better?! Like hell it would, but what's it to you anyway, huh? Acting like you care. What, you want me or something? It's not like you're offering to be with me, right?

Oh, and maybe he was a bit frustrated too because he doesn't get into this kind of arguments with you, that something that shouldn't have slipped his tongue, well, slipped. So, he looks at you. And you're just a stunned, flustered (out of embarrassment and anger) mess.

Y/N: Rich coming from someone who dismissed my feelings as some kind of "one-of-the-boys" joke. You're such a stupid, insensitive prick, Braun.

And you turn away, run as fast as you can because you can't with him right now. And he's just there, frozen because he hasn't really seen you like that. Never really seen you cry either. And somehow it hurts. And then he remembers a few things. How whenever he tries to pursue Christa and fail, when his nerves fall short, you were there to cheer him up. Suddenly remembered how you once said, 'How about me? Wanna try going out with me instead?' You had such a goofy look on your face too. He remembered dismissing it as a joke. And you both laughed the night away. In the morning when he saw you again at school, he remembered how red your eyes were, with you only saying that it got irritated by dust. Looking back. Looking back.

Reiner: Y/N... was being serious back then?

Damnit. Why was he such a fucking piece of shit?

So after that encounter. You avoid him, which has him almost stalking for you. He can't find you in places where you usually hang out. Purposefully avoiding them because Reiner knows. At parties, when someone tries to hook up with him, or when he gets booty calls, he almost agrees but declines, remembering what you said. He's trying to get his act together. Going back to classes, getting his grades up, distracting himself with his sports, even making the starting lineup for this season's game because he remembered how excited you both were when you both saw who the opposing team would be. But you avoid him still, and when he can't take it anymore. He does know where you live, he's just being considerate, but now he can't keep it up, so he just marches over to your house to demand something. A glare for all he cares. A few words. Your time. An explanation. Hell, even a closure that he knows he doesn't deserve, just not like this. Not with nothing for him to wrap his mind about other than you possibly hating his guts because he's been such a dick.

can't keep this gem to myself but imma have thoughts!™️ later

@lemmetreatya the culprit was none other than @erudianokabe they fessed up and I shall see them dealt with accordingly 😤😤😤 (by heaping all my love and affection onto their brilliant lil brain and shoulders)

[armourheld]

sb: hahah I'm so GLAD eren came back to fuck reiners life up!! me: ...fuck you, steven.

[beewritings]

our final night alive

Eren Jaeger x Reader one shot.

Afab reader, gender neutral pronouns used!

Content Warning: angst & nsfw. Slight violence, first time blowjobs, first time vaginal sex. Not spoiler free, manga is preferred to have been read.

Posted on my ao3.

Summary: You and Eren become lovers, but he disappears years later and it causes conflict on your relationship. I’m bad at summaries I’m so sorry

5.9k words. This is posted on my phone I’m so sorry if the layout is ugly lol. First story posted on here!! :) Feedback is welcomed!

you and eren got together not long after annie was caught being the female titan. you, eren, armin and mikasa became close friends during your cadet days.

you shared a bunk with mikasa, and seeing as she was always focused on eren and armin, you were scared to become her friend because you were unsure if she even wanted friends. you and her became sparring partners during training one day and she, obviously, kept beating you. at some point, eren walks over and tells her to give you a break and so she apologizes to you. from that point on, you always saw eren as a life saver. yes, she kept dropping you to the ground so much to the point where you were in pain so eren saved you. you accepted her apology, of course, and you even got to ask her if you could be friends. mikasa shrugged, but eren answered for her: he said he’d like that. he introduced himself and he called for armin and you introduced yourselves. the four of you never thought you’d actually join their friend group. these were the first friends you made and you never felt happier in your life.

“y/n, what made you want to join the cadet corps? you never told us,” you remember armin asking you one day.

“oh… um… it’s a stupid reason. it’s not worth mentioning… it’ll make it seem like i’m a joke..”

“no reason is stupid. except for that horse face’s reason, that bastard is a coward!” eren said, screeching.

“um.. well as a kid, i was neglected by both my parents. they were so focused on my older brother joining the military police and so happy for him that they basically forgot about me a lot. they always called me a disappointment and such and it always made me feel like shit..”

“so you joined to prove to them you’re worthy?” 

“what? hell no, i joined so i could get away from them. i was tired of being treated like i was a mistake child so my choices were either join the military to slowly kill myself or join the military to get away from my terrible parents. i honestly haven’t felt happy probably my whole life. but then i met you guys and now i feel like i have a purpose to be here? i want to protect you guys. all three of you…”

eren gives a slight smile and then it turns into a bright one. he leans to his left and wraps an arm around your shoulder and his other arm around armin and pulls them in. you and armin wrap one arm around mikasa and you all hug each other. you knew you were there to protect them all. even though mikasa is always there to try and protect eren, you know she needed someone to protect her, and you know for a fact someone had to be there for armin.

 

when discussing what branch of the military you guys were going to join, you four chose to join the scout regiment. then so much happened between when you talked about what you were going to join and graduating as cadets. there were days where you and eren would work together practicing and even though you were her friend, mikasa would keep watching you to make sure you wouldn’t get too close to him. she never told you that she would watch, but she was. when you and eren would spar, there’d be times where he’d pin you on the ground and straddle you with the wooden knife pointing to your neck. you started gaining a crush on eren, not knowing he was too, and you’d blush instead of defending yourself. at some point, you did push him right off of you and pin him instead, which resulted in him with a red face instead. 

when switching partners, you sparred with armin next while eren went to reiner. instead of sparring armin, you tried teaching him moves since you knew he was fragile and it wouldn’t have been a fair fight. armin brought up the topic of you and eren.

“so, you and eren? i saw you guys being flustered while sparring.”

“w-w-what??? nooooo, i wasn't flustered???? no one was flustered, armin. haha..” way to be obvious, y/n.

armin giggles and immediately drops the conversation.

eventually, time passes and the colossal titan decides to return, bringing titans with it. cadets are to help kill titans. you ended up on another squad, but you remind yourself to keep in contact with eren and armin. you couldn't keep sight of mikasa being she was with the higher ups, but you tried. you remember crashing into armin with ymir and connie. that's when you find out that… eren got eaten by a titan. it broke your heart, you felt the pieces inside of you tearing apart. you tried being strong but.. tears started to fall. mikasa made her way and she found out too, armin screaming in tears of all the members in his squad who'd died. mikasa was silently angry, calling everyone cowards. she soars off with little gas, and you immediately chase after her. she flew away so quickly, you couldn’t catch up with her. you had to protect her, you promised to protect your friends. one is already gone, you couldn’t have another one disappear. if she disappears, how can you trust yourself to protect armin? after you all made it to the building, killed the titans inside and got to refilling your gases, you find out that the titan who was killing other titans was none other than eren, the kid you started to gain feelings for.

time skip to capturing annie, the female titan, you and eren had finally gotten alone time. a time to talk your feelings out as eren heals from his fight with her. you went to visit him when you know everyone already has, but when you know he was still awake. it’s been a few years since you’ve met and started gaining feelings, being as you met when you were 12 and are now 15.

“hey, eren. how’re you feelin’, titan boy?”

“ugh, don’t call me that, y/n. that’s the least thing i wanna hear from you.”

“sorry…”

“.... y/n?”

“eren?” you both say at the same time.

“oh, you can-”

“no no, you go.”

you both give off small laughs.

“you go first, y/n.”

“um. well, i’m pretty sure this is the wrong time to bring this up considering you’re tired from fighting that female titan. plus this war isn’t near over and i shouldn’t be focused on feelings because we are soldiers but, uh. i have-”

“me too,” eren cuts in.

“feelings, i- what? i didn’t even finish-”

“it’s been obvious. well, not really. i didn’t think it was obvious, but i figured by the way we’ve been acting towards each other. we always get flustered when we’re close to each other. y/n, did you even realize that you’re holding my hand?”

you both look down and see that you’re holding his hand. you snatch it back with a flushed face and start stuttering.

“i-i-i always h-hold my friends' hands!!! i k-know you’ve seen me hold armin’s!! please, y-you’re not special, eren jaeger!”

eren giggles and blushes as well, leaning to grab your hand once more, this time interlocking the fingers.

“i agree. this isn’t the time for romance considering we are soldiers in the middle of a battle. but that doesn’t make me not want to further this relationship between us.. i-if you want that, that is…”

you bite your lip, looking away from him. you squeeze his hand and he caresses your skin with his thumb. you both kind of just ended the conversation there, but everything was mutual between the two of you. you knew what you wanted. a relationship, but never really having the title due to the war you all were going through. time flies and the battle with reiner and bertholdt to capture eren back from them happens. all you could feel about this battle was anger; you were going to get eren back. and you did. during the time where everyone was healing from it, that’s when you and eren both told both mikasa and armin about the little thing you guys had.

armin was supportive, he was easy. but mikasa took it a little hard, not showing it though. you pulled mikasa away and had a long talk with her about it, tell her you didn’t mean to catch feelings for the man she’d grown to protect with her life, it kind of just happened. but she couldn’t stay upset forever. she wishes for eren to be happy, and as she can see: you made him happy. the happiest he’s been. and she wants you, one of her best friends to be happy too, and clearly it was with eren. since then, you and eren have been open with your relationship. everyone knew, and no one tried to end it. when you guys told the crew, most of them basically said “we figured”. jean actually laughed and didn’t believe it at first, “really? in a relationship with that suicidal blockhead? yeah, alright .” so you did what any couple would do to prove their relationship, you kissed eren in front of them all, in plain sight. that was your first kiss. his, also. jean’s face turned red in embarrassment and he turned away. “alright, whatever. you’re both crazy.”

 

.

 

you miss him.

 

you miss eren. you all found out about what was truly outside the walls, and you helped eren cope the most. you know he really wanted to kill the enemy, they caused so much pain to his home inside the walls. he wanted revenge. you understood and supported his anger, you were there with him through every moment. his rants, his tears, his fears. you backed him up; you were on his side. so why did he still leave you alone? why did he disappear from you and your friends? why were you all in marley, watching his attack titan destroy it from above? you weren’t completely mad, you all were gonna infiltrate marley eventually, you just did it quicker and earlier than planned. when you saw him with your own eyes, his titan, your heart sunk. he looked so different.. has it really been that long? no way. and… he grew such long hair.. god. it was actually kind of hot, but you were too angry to admit it.

you sigh. you stood in the blimp, you didn’t do any fighting. you explicitly told commander hange and captain levi that when you arrive at marley, you refuse to fight. you were in gear, in case you had to, but you mainly stood in the ship with them. when everyone retreated after mikasa recaptured eren, captain levi kicked him to the wall. mikasa tries to run to them, but armin’ stops her. you were in a distance, out of eren’s eyesight but you could see him. you really hated his damn face right now.

two soldiers with guns run to him, pointing towards him. levi starts to speak to him once more.

“this brings back memories, eren. you have such a kickable face.” that earns a small chuckle from you. “after you’re tied up, let’s have a chat.”

“that’s fine, i explained everything in the letters though. did you not understand it?”

“tch. that face reminds me of the rotten shits who lived underground. never thought i would see it on you. but cheer up, everything happened like you wanted it to, right?”

eren just stares off into space, but then looks levi straight in the eyes and he mumbles out, “... where are they?”

“who?”

“you know who… where is y/n.”

“tch. oi, l/n. talk to your shithead boyfriend before anything else happens. i’m tired of looking at his disgusting face.”

levi walks away, tells the soldiers to chain him up and they walk away, leaving you finally in his eyesight. internally, his heart sinks. the look on your face was pure disgust, and anger. you walk towards him, and he looks up at you with his dead souled eyes. you clench your fists.

“y/n…”

you let out a huge breath. “eren.”

“... y/n, i’ve mis-”

you already know what he was going to say, and it just pisses you off. you growl and punch the wall behind his head. you lean your leg back and kick it right into his stomach. you grab a fistful of his hair, gripping it and bringing his face to yours. mikasa tries to push through armin, but armin manages to hold her back still.

“y/n, stop !” mikasa screams.

“do you have any FUCKING clue how worried i’ve been, eren?! HUH?! DO YOU??” you ignore mikasa, “besides mikasa, i probably was even more worried than her! YOU LEFT ME, EREN. are you stupid, eh? HUH? are you fucking stupid? you like knowing your partner is just worried sick about you? fuck the plan, if i wanted to i would throw you off this air ship myself. i don’t even like looking at how disgusting you look, you’re hideous. that dead look in your eyes. you’re not even eren! you’re some man who’s a fucking joke, you don’t care about us do you?! that time on the train? when you said we were all important to you? was that a lie? do you even think we are?” you bang his head into the wall and knee him in the face, bruising his nose and bleeding from it. tears start to well up in your eyes, “i missed you, eren… why’d you just leave us like that? i’m your partner… whatever, you’re not worth my time right now. i’m going to check on the others.”

you let go of eren’s hair, look at him a second more and make a disgusted face once more. “you’re not worth my tears.” you start to walk towards the back of the airship.

“you never left my mind the whole time i was there, y/n. i promise you. ”

you clench your fists and ignore him, continuing to walk to the others to see who made it on the airship.

 

.

 

“eren.”

“... y/n?”

you went to visit the prison before commander hange did. you needed to talk to him.

“we need to talk.”

“i’m all ears, my love.”

you hate that he’s seriously using pet names on you right now. it’s always been a weakness. my love, baby, lovebird. you loved them all.

“cute, we using pet names after i beat this shit out of you? okay, sweetie. i’ll call you titan man, yeah?”

“come on, don’t start that again. what are you here for, hm?”

“to talk.”

“okay.. so talk. come on, you know you want to start with how i look.”

“how you look? haha, okay. you want me to say that you look hot? that i want you to ravage me? bend me over and do nasty things to me?”

eren smirks, “actually, yeah. if that’s how you feel, i’d love to hear you say that.”

you chuckle, hating that he isn’t wrong. you do feel that way about him right now. him being really attractive right now, a man bun AND he’s shirtless? this is so unfair.

“well, too bad then. you won’t hear me say those words with confidence. but it would be nice…” you grin and lick your lips.

“oh? unlock these prison bars, and i’ll show you a good time then, baby.”

“no. let’s be serious now-”

“i am serious.”

“no, eren. we need to seriously have a talk,” you give out an exhale, “why’d you do it? do you have a plan in mind?” eren sighs, about to cut you off but you continue, “i’m being serious, eren. i’m not planning on telling the others. this is between us… why’d you leave me?” you start to tear up, “why, eren… you have a good reason for this, right?”

eren looks away from you, not wanting to make eye contact. “i have a plan, y/n. it’s going to work, i know it is.”

“what is it, baby? please, just between us two… i need to know why you left me for so long. i’ve been hurting so much. i love you eren, so fucking much. i literally can’t see myself without you, i see a future with you. please, eren. i want to be with you through it all, thick and thin. we are going to defeat marley together, right?”

“y/n. you are the light in my life, the reason i’m doing everything i am. i want you to live such a perfect life, whether it’s with me or not. i know what i’m doing. i’m doing it for you.”

“no.. no no no! you’re supposed to be doing it WITH me, not FOR me! we’re a pair, we do it together!” you bang on the prison bars, “please eren… i can help you.. yes, i’m upset with you, and i love armin and mikasa, even jean and connie! hell, i love sasha too, god rest her soul. i’m here to protect them all, just as i was in the cadets to protect you, armin and mika. but i love you the most, and if i had to choose… it’s always going to be you. i’d betray my comrades for you, eren-”

“no. no you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t let you. i love you, y/n. with my life, my heart, my soul. i’m willing to die for you if i could, but i will not let you betray the others. they need you more than you need me.”

“eren…” you’re full blown crying now, tears running down your face and overall a crying mess. you reach your hands between the bars holding his face in them and he places his arms through the bars to your waist, “please, eren. let me be by your side. i know floch released information about you, us imprisoning you. it was a tough decision, but someone leaked information to me about how you’re going to escape and meet some of your, uh, followers? they didn’t know if they were supposed to tell me considering the fact i was so angry with you on the airship, but someone slipped up. i know that’s not your real plan, you have something else planned for this… there’s no way you want to be on zeke’s side.. right?”

eren laughs, “hell no. i fucking hate that guy.”

“then what are your true intentions, eren…” you run your thumb across his lips, glancing back and forth between his eyes and lips.

“... i can’t tell you. to protect you, armin, mikasa… the others. i can’t tell you. you’re not joining floch and my followers. you’re staying with the scouts.”

“eren, i’m not-”

“l/n? are you down there?”

you and eren pull away from your intimate hold, and put some distance between yourselves. you cough.

“yes, captain. sorry. i had to give eren another beating and more yelling.”

“well, get out. you’re not allowed to be alone with eren.”

“yessir!”

eren looks at you and looks away. you lean back in the prison bars, grab his shoulders and bring it between the bars. you give him a kiss, a light yet deep kiss. one that just screams, please eren. he kisses you back, putting one hand on your waist. you pull away from his lips.

“.... i love you, eren. please, reconsider,” you whisper.

 

“i love you, y/n. more than you ever will know, i promise to spend my last 4 years with you,” his words make you tilt your head in confusion, “you’ll understand later. i promise you .”

you start to walk back, but then you hear eren’s last words to you, “you gonna let me ravage you soon, right? don’t act like i know you don’t think i’m so hot now.”

you giggle and walk backwards to look back at him, “i’ll think about. maybe if you’re a good boy, you can bend me over and do nasty things to me. maybe more, yeah?”

“oh? is this a promise or are you a tease?’

“take your pick.”

you walk up the stairs, leaving the man of your dreams locked in the prison.

 

.

 

eren escaped the prison. he met with his followers, the jaegerists, just as you had known was going to happen. you and the squad went to a restaurant to talk with niccolo. you didn’t expect what happened to happen. sasha’s family were there to eat, niccolo found out that the girl who killed sasha, gabi, was upon them and he threatened to kill both her and falco, the young eldian boy with her. after a dramatic episode with sasha’s adopted little sister, the little girl she saved from a titan, you, armin and mikasa take gabi to a separate room. you have a small talk, only to see your beloved walk in, with a threat. but to see eren again made your stomach flutter with butterflies. god you can’t get over how hot he looks.

he tells you to leave, he needs to talk to armin and mikasa by themselves. as he sends you out, there's a soldier who leads you into another room. you assume eren told him to lead you into another room. you take off your green military jacket, leaving you in your normal day outfit. after a bit, eren walks in. you blush, because god damn he’s so hot.

“....”

“....”

“... why are you so quiet?” eren asks.

“i-i don’t.. i don’t know. everything that’s happening, it’s just. so confusing…”

“thought you wanted me to bend you over? is that not what you said?”

you look up immediately in shock, “eh?”

eren smirks, “ eh? ” he mocks you, “i said, i thought you wanted me to-”

“i heard you the first time.. seriously, eren? right now? i don’t think this is the right time to-”

“baby, i’m joking. well, not really. i kind of was hoping we would do something here, but you obviously don’t and i am not going to force you,” he sighs, “can we just… hold hands and sit in silence? everything is stressing me out and i don’t know what to do with you.”

“what to do with me..?”

“shh, just hold my hands and shut up.”

…

“eren jaeger, i know you did not just tell me to-”

“y/n l/n.” 

you immediately shut up, knowing you hate when he uses your first and last name. you look away and he reaches forward and places his hands out in front of him, on the table.

“hands.”

you hold his hands, fingers interlocked, and look into his eyes. those teal eyes… you could stare into them forever. you sit in silence for about five minutes.

“y/n.”

you hum in response.

“do you love me?”

“more than life itself.”

“... okay.”

they sit in silence once again.

“eren…”

“yes, my love?”

“.... can we… um…”

“hm? use your words, baby.”

ugh, you hate it when his pet names make you melt. and the way he uses them? UGH he just makes you want to just sit there and obey him forever if it meant him calling you baby. you started to blush and squirm in the chair. eren smirks and chuckles.

“is something wrong, baby? do you… need some release? you look like a pathetic whore in heat.”

you look at him with widened eyes. you’ve never heard eren speak like this to you before, but you.. kinda like it. like, you and eren haven’t even done sexual things so for you both to say dirty things, let alone imply sexual activities towards each other, was new. and well, it seems like that's going to change. eren leans forward with his body, taking back his hands and putting one on the table and one to grip your chin towards him.

“ are you going to fucking answer me? ”

“i-i.. i, um-”

“god, you can’t even speak. you’re so awestruck by the way i’m treating you? it was bound to happen sometime, all you do is cry about how much you love me. it’s annoying. i’m surprised you aren’t a jaegerist, on your knees kissing my shoes. begging for me to fuck the shit out of you. huh? is that what you want? for me to fuck the shit out of you? HUH? answer me, you fucking whore! ” eren slaps your face with the hand that gripped your chin, and he grips it again. he force opens your mouth and he spits in it, “ swallow it. ”

“y-yes sir,” are the only words that could come out, and it boosted his ego and the tent in his pants you didn’t notice until now started to show more. you swallowed the liquid he spit into your mouth and stared into his beautiful teal eyes. you know this is just foreplay, he’s not genuinely angry with you. because his eyes never changed. this is the love of your life… he wouldn’t hurt you. you know he wouldn’t hurt you. you open your mouth to show him you swallowed it and he chuckles.

“ good. ” he lets go of your jaw and pats your head. he looks you in the eye and smiles. a genuine loving smile. he speaks again, “are you okay with this? with what i'm doing?”

you nod, giving a smile back. “i feel amazing, eren. are we… are we gonna, y’know…”

“hm? what did i say about using your words?”

you groan and look away from his eyes. “are we, no, are you actually going to bend me over and do nasty things to me?”

“do you want me to?”

“…yes.”

eren smirks and chuckles. “your wish will be my command.”

on an instant, eren grabs your arm and yanks you over the table. he walks to where you were just standing, and then he drags you by your hair to get off the table. he forces you on the floor, on your two knees to face towards him and his bulge that was being held in his dark pants, screaming to come out. he leans against the table.

“well? what are you waiting for? i’m not helping you. you’re on your own.”

you roll your eyes and you feel like you just know what you’re supposed to do. your hands make way to his pants, unbuttoning it immediately. you pull his pants down to his ankles, and start to rub his bulge. eren sucks in a breath, leaning his head back. he’s getting impatient, he actually can’t wait. he pulls his underwear down, his girthy member slapping against his stomach. he backs up to sit on a chair and spreads his legs apart for you. you stare at him with a flushed face and widened eyes. because it’s your guy’s first time doing anything like this, he smirks and starts pumping his member. pre-cum leaking out. he bites his lip, tilts his head back and lets out a low moan.

“y/n. start. i’m not doing everything for you from here on. suck it.”

you stare at his member, not in fear because your beloved’s cock is big, but in shock. will i… will i be able to fit this in my mouth? let alone.. inSIDE of me?? you lean forward, trying not to let him wait any longer. you lick a long stripe from his balls to his tip, earning a strangled moan from eren. he doesn’t want to pull your hair yet, so he just keeps caressing his thighs. you lick it some more, and then you finally stick him inside your mouth, and he instantly thrusts into your mouth. you let out a choke and pull off to cough. he opens his eyes and puts his hand on your cheek, stroking it.

“i’m sorry baby, i-it was an instant reaction. i’ll try not to do that until you’re ready. j-just.. keep going…”

you nod your head after coughing, letting your mouth right back onto his cock. you slowly start to bob your head, letting your tongue glide against the veins. trying not to bite, you start to bob your head quicker. you use your hand for whatever you can't reach and you just do this for a few minutes. eren’s legs start to shake. you lick his tip a few times, and eren’s hands go to your hair, pushing your head down a little further. he’s close. you can’t tell, but he knows he is. he thrusts up into your mouth, making you gag but you also moan, because fuck it feels so good. the vibrations from your noises trigger him, and he thrusts up more.

“f-fuck, y/n… i’m… i-i’m coming-!”

he pushes your head down all the way, your nose touching his skin. you’re gagging as thick liquid spurts up into your throat, making you gag just a bit more. your eyes tear up from the pain in your mouth, but your body feels tingly, on the verge of an orgasm. eren pulls out of your mouth while breathing heavy. you pull back with lust-filled eyes and you know you’re dying to have him inside you now. you open your mouth to show him his cum on your tongue, then you swallow that and show him your tongue once more. he blushes and giggles, looking away from your face. if he looks again, he might cum again, he doesn’t want to. not yet.

“e-eren… i need you… please, eren.”

eren looks at you and chuckles, “fuck… get on the table. i can’t hold back any longer.”

eren helps you up and sets you on the table in front of you both. he pulls off every piece of clothing you had on, your shirt your undershirt, your pants and your underwear, all at once. he refuses to wait. he needs to be in you now. he looks at your wet folds, he knows you were on the verge of cumming. he gives one long lick against you, and you bite your lip, twitching your legs and holding in your moans. he gets up and puts both arms on either side of your head. his member sliding against your folds.

“oh no no no, you are not going to hold back. i want everyone to know who is getting fucked and by who. i want everyone to know my partner of four years is a whore, a slut for my dick. that they’d do anything just to have eren jaeger’s cock in their mouth, in their beautiful pussy. yeah? are you my little cockwhore?”

“yes sir! i’m your little cockwhore, your little slut. please ‘ren, i want you.. no, i need you!!”

“god, baby. say it again, one more time baby..”

“EREN.”

“oh my god, babe. JUST DO IT!”

you both giggle as if there aren’t soldiers threatening your friends and comrades outside that door. eren looks at you with a genuine smile, and he mumbles “please, baby.”

“... i’m your little cockwhore, ‘ren. your little slutty cockwhore.”

“yeah? who’s pussy is this? huh? who’s pussy am i about to fuck?”

“... mine?”

eren lifts an arm and smacks your face, gripping your chin tightly. “try again.”

“y-yours…”

“what was that?”

“it’s yours…”

“what’s mine? didn’t your mother teach you how to speak? what. is. mine?” he uses that hand that gripped your chin to slap his cock against your throbbing area, sliding his cock between your folds.

“this pussy is yours, eren! this virgin pussy is all yours, eren, now can you PLEASE - o-oh!”

eren laughs as he just slides his member inside of you, slowly. it’s both of your first times, but it feels like it’s not. your cunt is so tight, but it feels as though it’s been used so many times. he gets in all the way, and you reach over to grip his man bun. you pull it out of its hair tie because you didn’t want to bother working with it later. he stays in, waiting for you to give him the go. you clench yourself around him, and considering the fact you were on the brink of orgasm when you were sucking him off, you actually orgasm right then and there. you clench around him tightly, moaning and gripping his long hair. he puts his hand back down next to your head.

“y-y/n?!”

“eren! o-oh fuck… -i-i’m sorry… i was on t-the brink of coming, i’m sorry-! EREN!”

he starts to thrust in, using your juices as lubricant and he just goes for it. fuck waiting, you already came. and he was going to make sure you get another orgasm. he wants his baby to be spoiled with his cum. he thrusts in and out, seeing his cock become visible and invisible. you moan, scream, every verb in the dictionary. you move your hands from his hair to his back and chest, leaving marks all over. eren grunts, feelings so good from your nails scratching him. oh god, his baby is making him feel so good. and he know he’s making his baby feel so good too, it’s very well shown on your face. he keep thrusting until he hits the spot to make you wild.

“EREN! oh my god, please eren, i’m so close, please please! please treat me like your little whore! you’re hitting the spot i never knew existed, please don’t stop!”

“you want it? you want me to fuck a baby into you? hm? want your sadistic boyfriend to breed you?”

god, you were losing it. eren grabs your body, he keeps his dick inside and he pulls you down to the chair with him. he wants you to ride him. and god, it’s a new sensation. you feel like you’re seeing god when you ride him. you hop on his lap, and he holds on to your waist while fucking up into you. you stare into his beautiful blueish green eyes. you wrap one arm around his neck and the other to his cheek and you kiss him. he, of course, kisses back. he helps you hop on him while holding your waist. everything feels so good.

“eren… i’m close again..” you mumble to the boy.

“i know , baby, i am too. i am too.”

he leaves marks all over your chest, just as you left nail marks on his back. you guys just sit like this, you keep riding him until you both are on the verge of another orgasm. he holds you against him, fucking into you so quick and fast and it just keeps hitting your walls. you’re both about to orgasm.

“eren! i’m gonna come, i-i’m-”

“let it out baby, i wanna hear you. i want everyone to hear you! please baby, i love you!”

“eren! i’m- f-fuck.. i love you, eren!”

after you both orgasm for a second time, you both sit there. enjoying each other's hot air, finishing off the post orgasm and intimate moment together. you both stare into each other's eyes, sharing the bonding moment. you both smile at each other, and you nuzzle into his neck. you love eren, you loved him so much. you can’t picture your future without him. he helps you up and he sets you back on the table. he looks around the entire room searching for wipes or paper towels. fortunately, he finds paper towels and cleans your private areas off. he’s beyond happy to have shared such a moment with you, finally. he gives you a deep kiss. he loves you so much. he would love to picture himself in your future.

but,

he wasn’t in it.

.

2 years have passed since the rumbling.

 

you miss him.

 

you miss eren so much.

[migila]

JeanPiku Week, Day 1!

Theme of the day: Free space

Note: I assumed that “free space” meant that we get to pick the subject, but if it didn’t... ah well,  oops.

Day 1: Free Space

“There’ll be a hole on the floor if you don’t stop pacing around soon, Jean” Armin says to the man who just keeps walking back and forth in front of him “Sit down and calm down.”

“I’m as calm as I can right now” Jean says, wiggling his hands behind his back.

“Just let him be” Connie says “If we did get him to sit down, he’d start ranting to calm his nerves instead. I’d rather listen to his footsteps than his whining.”

Jean stops, glaring at Connie over his shoulder.

“You- “

Whatever he had to say, it dies down on his tongue as the door opens and Annie steps in. The men turn to look at her, expectant.

“It’s over” she says. As the three continue staring at her, she makes room to let someone else pass from the doorway. When no one moves, she adds: “Pieck’s fine, and so’s the baby.”

That’s all it takes for Jean to rush past her, vaguely registering Armin scolding Annie about the way she’d started it, saying that it was too misleading, but that’s all he managed to hear before getting upstairs. Wasting no time, he headed for the room he knew Pieck to be in. Meeting the midwife at the door, he quickly gave his thanks before entering.

Pieck laid in the bed, holding her baby in her arms. Their baby.

“Hey” he says.

“Hey” she says back “You can come closer you know; neither of us bites.”

Smirking, Jean says: “I happen to know that that’s a lie on your part.”

Pieck snorts.

“Really? I just gave birth and you’re already telling dirty jokes?” she asks “At least let me rest a day or two.”

“Sorry sorry” Jean laughs as he comes over, looking at their sleeping, black haired baby. One that looked more like its mother, thankfully. The child wouldn’t have horse jokes directed at it… probably “A boy or a girl?”

“Throw a guess”

Jean was pretty sure it was a boy, but he didn’t want to embarrass himself by getting it wrong. But after his wife had said that, not saying anything would make her realize exactly what he was thinking, and that would be an even bigger embarrassment.

“A boy”

“Correct” Pieck answers, holding the baby out for Jean to take “Here, hold him.”

He takes his son in to his arms, seeing the baby stir a little as he is moved, but in the end, he doesn’t wake up. He just continues to slumber, only now in his father’s arms instead of his mother’s.

This was a surreal moment for Jean. So many times, he had thought he’d die in battle, his first time being at Trost, his own home town, at the age of 15. After he had joined the scouts, he sometimes dreamed that, if he was lucky, he’d be permanently crippled one day while on duty, and thus could safely retire with pride before he got himself killed. He had considered surviving the fights with the titans, and later the war, very unlikely. And yet here he was, during a time of peace, with his wife and their newborn son.

“Wife that tried to kill me and who I tried to kill when we met” he thinks, snorting “But well, that’s kind of a thing around here, at least if we ask the Arlerts.”

“What?” Pieck asks, having noticed his laughing.

“Nothing, just thinking” he says “If someone had told me of this situation six years ago, I would’ve laughed to their faces or have them sent in to a mental hospital.”

Pieck laughs, knowing exactly what he meant.

“Had someone told me about this situation six years ago, I would’ve bitten their head off” she says “Literally.”

“Ouch” Jean says “In more ways than one. Surely the idea of you and me together couldn’t have looked that bad to you, could it?”

Pieck shrugs.

“After our fight with Eren, no” she says “But before forming the alliance? We were enemies, Jean.”

“…Point taken” the man says. Wanting to speak of something else, he asks: “Have you thought of a name?”

“I have some ideas” Pieck answers “You?”

“Well, yeah” actually, for a few years now Jean had had an idea of what he’d want to name his son if he ever had one, but he knew that the child’s mother would have to approve of it as well “What would you think of- “

“Knock knock, anyone home?” Connie called out, slamming the door open as he did, waking up the baby while he was at it. Needless to say, the startled bundle started to cry. Connie got a glare from both of the fresh parents, causing him to smile sheepishly.

“Oops…” he muttered “Sorry.”

“You’re lucky that I’m tired” Pieck tells him.

“But I’m not” Jean says, handing the baby back to her before turning to Connie. The shorter man raises an eyebrow, saying: “Fine. I’d rather take you on any time than her.”

But Jean can barely reach Connie before Annie kicks their legs out from under them, saying as they hit the floor: “If you’re going to fight, do it outside.”

“Annie! You can’t just barge in like that!” Armin called out as he too came in “Sorry, Pieck”

Pieck just smiles, trying to soothe her crying baby as she does.

“No harm done”

“Your husband getting thrown on the floor is not harm?” Jean asks, still laying where he’d fallen.

“You’re alive, aren’t you?” Pieck asks.

“Aren’t you two just lovely?” Connie asks as he gets up, and no one misses the sarcasm “So, a boy or a girl?”

“A boy” Jean answers as Armin helps him up.

“Cool” Connie grins “You did once say that if you ever had a son, you’d name him after- “

“Shut it, Connie” Jean hisses “We haven’t decided on the name yet!”

“You already had such a strong opinion on this? You should’ve said so” Pieck scolds, but then processes Connie’s words “But if you say you want to name him after Eren- “

“As if”

“Good” Pieck chuckles “Just making sure. Then, after who?”

Jean hesitates.

“It’s not like we have to pick that one” he says “You had ideas too, didn’t you?”

“So? I should at least hear yours” she says, smirking “And we can always use my ideas for the next ones.”

Jean blushes a little and the others laugh.

“Well,” he says, clearing his throat “I was thinking of the name Marco.”

The name was vaguely familiar for Pieck. She remembered Jean asking about someone with that name from Annie and Reiner before they had left for the continent during the war, and remembered that the man had been indirectly fed to a pure titan by the said blonds. And judging from Jean’s reaction from that night, he’d been really close with the guy.

“Sure” she says, and Jean stares at her in disbelief “Seriously?”

Pieck shrugs.

“Why not?” she asks “Marco Kirstein sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“Sure does” Connie puts in before Jean can tell his opinion “Right guys?”

“It does” Armin confirmed “Right Annie?”

The woman just nods.

“This isn’t a majority vote you guys” Jean snaps, but then smiles “You’re right, though.”

Pieck smiles down at their baby.

“Marco Kirstein it is, then.”

[delu-jean]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

(Jean x fem!/reader) -> (supposed to be angst but...major fluff) -> 4.9k 

Notes: This chapter is a little longer, there’s an extra cut at the end, and loads of fluff! Hope you enjoy and chapter five is yet to come!! ^^

Ⅲ > Ⅴ 

Jean stood there shocked at the corpse that lay in front of him. How did this even happen? Marco wasn’t that far the last time he checked.

“Is that...Marco?...”

He stood there petrified as his hand clenched. How could this have happened in such a short time?...a lady then asked for his name. Jean was very deep into thought, but eventually gave in.

“Marco...Marco Boddt.”

“Thank you young man.”

---

You left the place where you were last standing. You were still upset because of what happened, but decided to let that go as you watched Jean. He seemed so...helpless. You didn’t need to know much to understand that someone probably died...and Marco if anything (since he wanted to go and check on him).

Instead of forcing him to tell you anything, you put your hand on his shoulder. It showed comfort from a distance which gave enough space. He seemed grateful for your gesture, and looked back at you. Teary eyed, he placed his calloused hand onto yours. The Bonfire was now taking place, and you brought him to an area where you both could sit.

Jean hugged his two knees together, and yet still managed to hold your hand. You didn’t move it though, knowing it was helping him cope.

Sasha and Connie joined not much later, and you all huddled together. You felt the sorrow they expressed and well...you felt such sadness as well. You may have not known everyone, but Marco was still a dear friend to you, heck most of the people in your squad (being Eren, Mikasa, Ymir, etc) were somewhat dear to you. You just, never let them get too close was all. You wished you had let Marco at least. He had always reminded you of Bertholdt...except...he was more optimistic and confident. You truly did enjoy his company, and were sad that it was now gone.

As you all sat, you then saw Bertholdt who stood alone. You sighed as you got up, slipping out of Jean’s grip, on your way to Bertholdt. Yes you were still very angry at him (along with the other two), but you’ve always had a soft spot for Bertholdt. Since he was like an older brother, you could never not forgive him. As soon as you reached him, you gave him a hug. He returned the favour as you whispered:

“Thank you...for warning me in advance. Honestly, I’m still pissed off that you guys didn’t say anything, and did things without my input. But at the same time, your advice did save my behind...somehow,” you chuckled as he nodded.

“I’m sorry Y/n...in truth, I should’ve stayed quiet...but I knew I needed to do something.”

“Yeah...just...no more secrets. Okay?...” he stood there as you sighed yet again.

“Let’s go,” on your way back, you hear as the two teased Jean.

Halfway through, Bertholdt stopped and told you he needed to meet with Reiner, whereas Jean had noticed your presence and tried pushing the two away.

“Ahhh, so that’s your competition. Although, I don’t think incest is a good idea-”

“He’s not her actual brother...idiot,” Sasha scolded which caused the two to argue.

“Guys, shut up. Y/n is coming,” they both quiet down as you approached, smirking at each other in “secrecy.”

You sat beside Jean still concerned. He seemed to relax a little now that you were beside him. That being the case, you finally asked:

“So, how are you feeling?” he looked at you, and then your hands.

“Ah yeah...I’m feeling better,” he cleared his voice. He looked shy for some reason...maybe it wasn’t that, but him being vulnerable?

“What about you?...I know Marco was also a good friend of yours.”

“Hmm...honestly, I miss him a lot. If he were here, he would say something motivating, inspirational even. I wish I got to know him a lot better seeing how nice he was. Well...regardless...I’ll make sure that lives like his don’t go in vain.”

“Mhm,” you scooched in closer.

“Are you still going to join the military police?” you asked as he looked troubled. Maybe he wanted to join the Garrison? You stretched your arms as he stared you down.

“If it helps, I’m joining the Survey Corps.”

“What, why?” a tone of concern splashed over as you eyed him.

“Well...I think everyone...deserves a fair chance...a fair chance at life. And if titans are the obstacles weighing down that opportunity, then I'll try doing anything that will help you guys get one step closer...I really will.”

If only you could do this back at home, in Marely. But killing off titans would never be the answer, not there at least. The heavy boulders they placed on each, and everyone of your shoulders, would never allow the chance of a fair life. One that you have always wanted. So if you couldn’t live out that dream (for yourself at least), you would try to help those here.

At first, you would never have thought to do such a thing, but as time passed, you accepted this place as one with just as many problems as your own. They weren’t that different, except Paradis had a better chance at a newer start. You then looked up to see the stars glisten so freely. One day, you hoped you would be able to as your hand reached for the sky.

“I think...I think I know what I want to do, thanks for that,” honestly, you had hoped he would pick the Mountain Police. It was a lot safer compared to the corpse, and well...it was something he had always gravitated towards. You didn’t want him to die out there...you couldn’t imagine him doing so.

Something you found a little funny was the difference between Jean and Bertholdt. Bertholdt and you were very close, and you would never want him to die. But if he ever did, you were prepared for such an event. But imagining Jean going through death was something that you couldn’t even bring up. You knew Jean was somewhat special to you, but in what way exactly? Maybe in a...no. You couldn’t. You couldn’t think such thoughts.

“Here, we should get going,” he offers his hand and helps you up.

You both walked to your quarters. While doing so, you could see that Jean seemed on edge. You weren’t sure as to why, but by the time you reached the door, all you could do was stare. It seemed as if both of you needed something...but the real question was “what?” What did you both need.

He then put his hand in his pockets, looking downwards as he mumbled the words:

“Well...goodnight.”

“Night.”

He started to make his way, and so did you. Before you could close the door, he caught it mid-way exclaiming:

“Y/n, wait!”

He gives you a small violet. It was a little roughed up (due to his pockets) but you admired it anyway. The way the petals clung, and they way he looked so disappointed in himself (for roughing it up) made you smile. You then put it on top of your right ear, adjusting it the best you could without a mirror, to then asked:

“Does it look good?” he moved it once more and swept a strand of your hair.

“Yeah, much better,” he then drew back quickly as you felt your heartbeat.

“Sleep well, okay? Jean?”

“Yeah, you too.”

---

It was finally the day where everyone had chosen their regiment. Annie ended up joining the mountain police. Based on what they told you, she would be a spy from a different (and more “important”) standpoint. Jean however, decided on the scout regiment, along with the rest of your friends.

“Jean, are you sure? The interior is a lot safer if anything, you should go before it’s too late-”

“You can’t convince me otherwise,” he winked as you shook your head.

“Plus, I can’t let you guys have all of the fun, killing titans? Yeah right, also, I won’t let Eren beat me.”

‘Oh...he must mean Mikasa,’ you thought.

At this point in time, you decided to accept that you had feelings for Jean. Though it was hard at first (because of your boundaries), you eventually gave in with each moment you spent. You were smitten with his charms, laugh, and smile. They kept drawing you in and never disappoint.

You weren’t going to lie, you were scared. Not only were your walls down to such an extent, but you were getting so attached to Paradis. Him just being one of the sources of that connection. It terrified you alright, but that warmth Jean gave, comforted you instead.

The way he would always tease you, make your day brighter, and just grab your attention in general, made you happy. But what kept you anchored was both your fears, and reality. Hearing that he wanted to beat Eren, reminded yet again as to who he liked. Mikasa. Even though you knew she loved the hot head, Jean liked her, and if you could support him, that’s all that mattered.

You crossed your arms in disappointment.

“If you want to beat him, there are so many other ways.”

“Like?”

“Your looks?” you both stood there in an awkward silence. He then tried to laugh things off.

“Okay okay, I’ll be truthful, I can’t let you go out there alone-”

“I have Reiner and Bertholdt-”

“Nonsense, you may have those two, but you’ll need a Jean as well.” You laughed at his remark and so did he.

“No but...being a part of the interior would be a safer option, plus...isn’t that what you’ve always gone for?”

He looked back at the others and said: “Yeah but, now this is what I’m going for,” you smiled a little worried, but knowing Jean, you guys could pull through together (hopefully).

Erwin said the last of his congratulatory speech, and you all headed for the stables. You were getting ready for the expedition that was yet to come. You watched as Eren, Mikasa, and Armin grouped together. You and Jean had just started walking, so the others (along with the trio) were in front of you.

“So, you’re telling me that you’ve all decided to join the corps?”

“Of course, why else would we be here?”

“Then Jean, Marco, and Annie joined the interior?-”

Jean then appeared in front of them along with you.

“Marco’s dead.” he said bluntly. Eren looked very shocked.

“Marco’s not, you must be joking-”

“Yes...he is…” you ensure as your arms crossed.  

“I wish I could say I wasn’t, but he is.”

Your cloaks were then given out. “The wings of freedom…” Hopefully, one day, you could grasp onto that feeling along with the people who stood beside you.

---

“Listen Mikasa, unlike you we’re not willing to just throw our lives away for Eren.”

“We need a reason so we don’t hesitate when the time comes.”

“Show us your worth.”

You felt guilty while listening to this. Yes, you would “try” to sacrifice yourself for any comerdae, but when it came to Eren, it would probably be best if another titan ate him (you cherished him as you friend, but also acknowledged him as your enemy).

Yes, it may sound cruel, but your mission would be back in operation if he did so...but then again, did you really want to succeed in such a cause? The look on Reiner’s face reminded you of what your purpose was, and you sat there composed as Jean went on.

You admired his character. He really had grown up a lot during the time he’s spent here. Everyone agreed with his statements whereas Eren took it as a hard pill to swallow. You then all went to your horses (needed for the expedition) and started preparing for the fight ahead.

He was saddling up and looked over at your side, you caught him in the act and made a face. He made things so obvious which amused you. He shot up immediately as you proceeded to tease him.

Show us your worth,” you playfully said while giving him a dramatic stare.

“H-Hey! I did my best, quit yapping,” you both laughed as he came up and pulled you in by your belt. You were baffled (and flustered) to then see him tighten your buckle.

“Just in case...I can’t lose you to another incident...like I almost did last time.”

He probably said that due to the fact Marco was now gone...you nodded and grabbed his hand before it left you, shaking it. He was a little confused, but then heard the words:

“You can trust me, so don’t you dare wipe my trust away,” he chuckled at what you said and tightened his grip.  

“I won’t. So stay safe out there, okay?”

“I will, and you better as well-”

“OhOho, am I intruding on this lover’s quarrel? I sincerely apologize with my utmost apology,” Connie teased as Sasha joined in:

“Jean, how dare you. Stealing my girl away? You can’t! She makes the best pancakes there are! Don’t do this to me!” Sasha sobbed as Jean turned red

“OH SHUT UP!”

To your surprise, Reiner jumped in.

“They have a point, if you’re going to take our Y/n away, you better have our approval if anything. Remember, no sneaking out past 9-”

“Says you,” you scowled as he laughed. You have to admit, when Reiner was in his warrior mode, you hated it. He was such a jerk and you needed that personality to disappear, and be on its way. But when he was himself, he was genuinely kind. Yet every kind smile had it’s fair share of frowns. You still wanted to know more about him, and hey, if this Island deserved a chance, so did he.

“I, ugh. Let’s get going, I don’t need a lecture from Captain Levi.”

You laughed and followed along with everyone else.

Jean POV

I liked Y/n...if you couldn’t tell by now. I knew I could make things obvious, but was pretty sure I could cover up my tracks. I’d say I’m pretty good at that...yeah…. Well, regardless, I’ve known for a little while, but wouldn’t say it’s been a very long time.

Even though I had confronted my own feelings, I never tried doing the opposite. It’s not that I didn’t want to confess, rather, some things held me back. One: there’s never been a good time to say anything. As of recently, things have been so hectic and well, Y/n and I have barely gotten any alone time. Two: I was a little insecure when I started liking her. There were just so many other guys who seemed more beneficial than me...even EREN if I had to admit...no...I take that last part back. Lastly, three: I didn’t want my feelings to ruin our friendship.

I really did like her though. Also, I’m not going to deny that I did have a thing for Mikasa (way back when), but after getting to know Y/n better (and myself in general), that feeling of pure attraction faded away. She’s a nice girl, but not my type of woman (whereas Y/n was).

I heard the war cries of those beside, behind, and in front of me. Each filled with ambition along with mine. Not knowing if this would be their last day, or if there would be a tomorrow, made their yells and screams even louder.

I watched as everyone around me poured their hearts into their calls, while Y/n simply sat there, prepping for the battle ahead. From an outsider’s perspective, she might have looked scared, but knowing her, she was just focused. Trying to get a piece of mind before another war commenced.

I rode off with my squad, things were going according to plan until titans started showing up one, after another. Luckily I was able to escape in the midst of it all. Though terrified, I tried my best to keep myself level headed. Even so, I almost died in the process. A titan was on its way to crush both my horse and I, but one of my cremates killed it. Unfortunately, the next titan to come took him out as I ran.

` I was then riding on my own, hoping I could scope out Y/n if the chance was given. I searched everywhere while riding faster, and faster. Although no traces were found, I did bump into Reiner, Armin, and a large titan.

“Why is she running infront of us?”

Armin then explained his theory, about someone else hosting the controls of that titan. Although I wanted to think of something else, I couldn’t just disregard his statement. This being the case, next thing you knew, I was a diversion trying to get the best of the female titan. I swung from her backside trying to get to her nape, but she protected it as I flew.

To my failure, Reiner decided to be a suicidal maniac (yet again) and plunged straight towards her.

“You maniac-” only seconds later, did he escape and we were on our way to find a safe zone.

We ended up going to a remote place with no titans, a couple of trees, and well...ourselves (along with the horses). We sat there hopeless wondering about what our next move would be.

‘I wonder where Y/n is…no...we need to find a way to get out of here first, then I can think about her…’

“Only two horses eh...I guess one-”

“Jean, I found your horse while riding. It seemed terrified.”

“My horse, Buchwald!” I calmed him down by brushing on his mane.

“I’m surprised you came," Reiner said to Christa.

“Well, I wasn’t too far and had Jean’s horse as well. I simply followed it, and it led me to you guys.”

“Wait, Christa, did you happen to see Y/n by any chance?” I asked worried and she thought to herself.

“Hmmm, last time I recalled, she went west from my squad. I haven’t seen her since but, if she’s with Ymir, she should be fine!! Don’t worry too much.”

Even though I felt uneasy, Christa’s gratefulness (towards us being alive) took my mind off of things. We then started to ride around the field, looking for any squad nearby. Luckily, we spot one in the nick of time, and join them.

---

“Yeah, I’m sure the commander is looking for shade, that way, he can set up a picnic for his scouts.”

“That’s very...unlikely,” Armin replied.

‘Great, we have to sit in these trees for gosh knows how long. This is going to be a pain,’ I swung along with the others.

Titans sprawled all around us and we all sat waiting for other orders. Not only wasI agitated at that, but also at the fact I haven’t seen Y/n even once. Where could she have gone? Last time I saw, she didn’t venture too far from me...well...that was at the entrance, so who am I kidding.

I looked around the trees to see many cadets, but not Y/n. Armin caught me doing so, and sighed as I then looked back at him.

“What?”

“You’re worried about Y/n-”

“Maybe I should use my ODM gear to look for her-”

“Jean,” Armin interrupted.

“I’m sure she’s fine, she’s with her comrades. Plus, have a little faith in her. She’s a fighter you know?” he smiled as I sighed.

“Yeah...she is...really is,” I then grinned hoping that...she still was one...literally.

“It’s not that though...I just...don’t trust her surroundings,” I peered down and saw almost a dozen titans. Armin nodded and then said:

“Yeah, and we shouldn’t either.”

I started to think to myself. I knew he meant that in a more “literal” way, but looking at it in a “metaphorical” stance, got me thinking differently. I know I’ve gotten to “know” Y/n during the time given, but have I really gotten to “know” her?

I think I did?...but then again, Y/n has always had a side I’ve never been able to reach. You know, she’s always talked about finding freedom for others, giving them the chances they deserved...but never talked about what she wanted. I hoped...truly hoped that maybe I could help her reach that feeling as well.

---

We all retreat in failure. The female titan had gotten away, and now here we were. So many lives lost for such a useless operation.

‘No Jean...let’s not think like that...I wonder where Y/n is,” I started riding faster to the front of the brigade, hoping I could find her.

I passed horse by horse, person by person, yet to my dismay...nothing. I broke a sweat while riding to see Ymir. Reminding myself as to what Christa had said, I approached and asked:

“Where’s Y/n?”

“Ah, she’s in the cart over there. Don’t cry too much,” she smirked as my eyes widened.

‘Why the hell was she laughing?...the hell is wrong with her?...’

I rode towards the cart Ymir pointed to. I didn’t think to look through any, because I had assumed she would be alive. I gave myself a moment to prepare myself for the worst. Even though I did so, I knew nothing would be able to prepare myself for her death...never…. I could feel my eyes water, still shut, ready to open until I heard a voice.

“Jean?”

“Y/N!? YOU’RE ALIVE!?” my eyes widened almost immediately.

“Yeah...I lost my horse and hurt my ankle during the process. Ymir basically carried me the entire time, but once we had decided to retreat, I told her to drop me off here.”

‘That wench-damn, she really got me thinking differently,’ I sighed and nodded my head.

“Are you okay though?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing to, ouch-” she winced and my reaction was to swoop in, but I pulled back as she adjusted the cloth given.

“Okay then...I’ll ride beside you until we get back,” the person riding the horse then winked at me and I panicked.

Hoping Y/n didn’t see, she grinned saying: “Alright, don’t miss me too much though.”

“Haha, I won’t.”

‘Because I already have...so much…’

Original POV

When you had gotten in the walls, you weren’t welcomed with the best greeting. Jean had made it his priority to shield you, and you were grateful for that. As soon as you made it back to the stables, before the medical team could take you, Jean insisted he would instead.

You weren’t exactly sure as to why, but you didn’t oppose it. He carried you by resting his right hand under you, and his left behind you, making sure he didn’t crush your legs in the process.

“Could you...um...cling onto me?” you quickly draped your arms around his neck as he started walking. It only felt like seconds before you both appeared at a field. Tall grass roamed everywhere, along with an assortment of both insects, and flowers (more grass if anything though).

He analyzed the area to then shake his head.

“Ah, I’m really bad at this,” he muttered.

“Sorry…” he placed you on the ground (gently) and then took off his cape. After doing so, he then placed you on top of his cloak, and you giggled.

You wouldn’t deny that it was cute. Even though your clothes were splattered in blood, he still put in the effort so you wouldn't dirty yourself even more. He seemed very stiff, it looked as if he was nervous. You weren’t sure as to why exactly, but regardless, you gave him the time he needed to adjust. You teasingly patted to your left, and he quickly moved over to sit. You let out a small laugh at his attempt, which put him at ease.

“It’s very pretty.”

“Not as pretty as you are.”

“I’m sorry, what?-”

“I-I mean, well...UGH DAMN IT!”

You sat there stunned. Did he really meant what he said? You looked at him shyly as he started to mumble to himself. What if he did really mean it?...But Mikasa?...you were so confused. Very actually. He exhaled and looked back at you.

“Is your ankle feeling better?”

“Yeah...I guess so,” you both sat in silence, until he said:

“Y/n...you’re a good friend,” all optimism had gone down the roof as you sat there confirming your thoughts about him, and Mikasa. He could tell the mood had instantly changed, and tried fixing it.  

“No, wait, that’s not what I mean damn it. Here goes nothing...Y/n...I like you...like you a lot to the point it drives me crazy. I couldn’t stop thinking about you throughout the entire expedition. Wondering if you were safe or not...if I would make it out alive in time...”

“You know, originally, I had thought that I would need the right time to tell you how I felt, but I soon realized that time wasn’t going to wait for me. It may sound a little cheesy, but we could die today or tomorrow. That being the case, I needed to tell you as soon as I could.”

You looked at him as his expression had softened. Although he was looking at the sun setting in front of you, you could tell his heart was seeking elsewhere. That place being you. This feeling... the warmth...it felt so familiar, but instead of feeling foreign, it felt natural. You gazed as fingers played with the grass that lay beside you.

You felt as ease knowing that he liked you back, and that the Mikasa ordeal was over with...hopefully...since that doubt still ran through your mind, you asked:

“Wait, you do?-”

“Before you say anything, I need to prepare myself.”

“For?”

“Rejection.”

“What?” you laughed as he closed his eyes.

“Of course, only a girl such as yourself would give up on this beautiful masterpiece. That’s how special you are.” he winked as you rolled your eyes.

“No but...I am being serious. Although I confronted that way I felt not too long ago, I’ve always had this lingering feeling in my gut...for you…” he blushed and you followed. But just to make sure:

“What about Mikasa? Didn’t you want to beat Eren?...what happened to that.” a little scared for his response, he said:

“Oh, I meant in general. I gotta try and surpass him at least. He may be a titan but well...I’m Jean,” you both laughed.  

“So...what about you?”

“I...can’t...I like someone else…”

He paused, shocked. Sure rejection was one thing, but thinking you liked someone else made his heart sink.

“It’s Bertholdt I’m assuming?..”

You shook your head.

“AHH DON’T TELL ME IT’S EREN!!” you laughed and kissed his cheek. You could feel his face burn up after you doing so.

“No, I’m just kidding. I like you too, a lot...a lot more than you know.”

He held his cheek for a moment, it almost seemed as if...he wasn’t functioning (A/N: ExE JEaN hAS StopPEd WorkiNg). He then looked at you shocked, and beamed brightly (to the point it was blinding, but in a good way).

“You mean it!?”

“Of course-WOAH!”

He lifted you up out of joy, you winced a bit (bc of your ankle) and he immediately stopped. He’s a tad worried (but more excited) and immediately asked: “sorry, you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” the cape that was draped around you, was now wrapped around your figure since he adjusted it. He then puts his head in the crook of your neck and said: “thank you Y/n…”

“For what exactly?...”

“For not rejecting me,” you laughed and you could feel him smile on you.  

“No but in all honesty, for being there. You’ve always had my back in times where I never knew I needed it. Humbled me when I should’ve done so myself, and cared for me when I was reckless. And now...you’ve given me the best gift I could ever have.”

“That being?”

“You of course.”

Your smile softened as you kissed his cheek yet again, making his head raise, meeting eye to eye.

“You’re one of, if not the best thing that’s ever happened to me...Jean”

ExtRA (in dot jots/hc’ish):

Warning: slangish grammar

EVERYONE WAS SPYING

Y'ALL COME BACK TO SEE CONNIE'S BALD HEAD WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW

JEan yELlEd aT thE PooR Boy

He (being Connie) then rats everyone out and they come forth (with such spying eyes)

Eren then yells: “SO ARE YOU GUYS DATING NOW, OR WHAT!? WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER!”

“WHAT!?” you both exclaim

Sasha *visibly crying for a dramatic effect*

Christa looking like a saint blessing a marriage between two doves

Ymir: “y’all ain't slick, that’s all imma say.”

Bertholdt be giving older brother vibes, and don’t say anything. Reiner on the other hand, makes a face (teasing of course) and walks away with Berty (it’s like, giving his baby away...which is illegal)

(Jean feeling like he’s committed a crime after Bertholdt’s reaction-) 

Mikasa smiles for once, and is awaiting for your answer

“Well-”

“Yes, yes we are...if he’s okay with it-”

“O-of course I am,” you both blush as Eren rolls his eyes (teasingly)

“You guys are like a bunch of kids. Alright, we should head to bed now. Y’all have all the time in the world to be lovey dovey, but for now, let’s hit the hay.”

For once, Jean agrees with eren who gives you both a playful grin

“Especially you horse boy, you gon need it-”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY!?” -a very angry JeAn

Armin taps your shoulder and whispers “congrats,” as he catches up with the other two

Jean is visually embarrassed, but then looks at you and feels nothing but happiness, along with yourself. One you hoped would never disappear.

Ⅲ > Ⅴ

[kojinnie]

tis is ranon! i wanna try the twisted match-up eventho it'll probably hurts. my worst traits would be

1. Not knowing myself well enough, having to ask others how i actually am from their eyes instead of looking through my own lense because I care of other's judgement better than mine.

2. I suck at handling compliment. Everytime anybody says anything good about me, I always get defensive by saying no, change the topic of the conversation, or saying "thank you, but [insert why i don't deserve compliment]"

3. Similar to the 2nd one, I have horrible horrible self esteem. I never really look at myself in a good light, I think I am horrible. Sometimes I feel like "im the worst" yet some of the times I feel like "woah I'm a queen". Even worse, sometimes I don't have the motivation to better myself in order to raise my self esteem.

My favourite(s) would be reiner and jean, you can choose the one with the worst(or whoever you prefer) compatibility with my traits. tears up already as I slip 1 dollar to your hand, whispering happy ending please..

Pairing: Jean x Reader

Summary: You accidentally meet Jean, your high school sweetheart, thirteen years later. While he has turned into a successful man whose face you'd see on TV a lot, you think of your life and what could have been with him, if only...

Tags: Angst/Fluff, coming of age, slice of life

Word Count: 3.6K

A/N: Oh Ranon my sweet child, hereby I present to thee... hopefully an antidote to the despair Yams had given us with 138. Hope you like it love!

Song mentioned: Linger by The Cranberries

"It's nice to see a familiar face 'round here."

There was no word that could describe the feelings you had upon hearing that voice. A voice that was once the first sound you hear in the morning and the one you say goodbye to before falling asleep. A voice that you had not heard for what felt like forever.

You didn't have to turn around to tell who it was, "Jean?"

The two of you erupted in laughter, both surprised by the mere coincidence of meeting each other at this old and ran-down department store, on the outskirt of the town you both grew up in.

Jean was quick to pull you into a big embrace that you gladly came into. A familiar piece of warmth was his hug, and yet it had struck you as odd that it did not feel foreign at the closest, although it had been years since the last time you met him.

Jean had grown very tall. There was no longer his signature undercut as he had let his hairs to grow past his ear. His chiseled jaw hid beneath dark brown beard he now had. You pretended to check him out and be shocked with the view, "You really grew! Like grew, GREW!" as if you hadn't seen him on the news station or the daily mail. As if you didn't follow his Instagram with your second account. As if you never thought of him at all.

He held your shoulder and pulled away to look at you, "Thirteen years and you don't look any different."

Your face grew hot and the compliment sent an uncanny discomfort to your guts, "Ah the lighting sucks here - to my advantage, fortunately."

There was a disapproving look in Jean's eyes for a passing moment before he carried on with the conversation. He didn't expect to see you at the old department store the two of you used to roam in after school, he said. Neither did you to ever meet him again, especially here. A place so awfully ordinary for someone who had grown to be the best version of himself. Jean had finally achieved his dream to be a household name in the country as one of the rising young attorneys.

The celebrity status he had achieved, all the actresses and models he had dated - it all inflicted you with some kind of inexplicable pain. One that made you feel worthless, to say the least. Someone who used to be so close to your heart, had grown so magnificently, leaving you with the painful fate of being ordinary. Yet, still your face lit up in distant pride each time a mention of Jean’s name surfaced, be it from the passing conversation your friend had, or to see it announced by the news anchor for some big public case he was working on.

Jean said that he returned home for a funeral. His uncle died, and he needed a spare sandal. He didn't know any other store, as the area both of you grew up in had changed a lot. Leaving this old department store the only place he could remember.

You passed your condolence but he was more curious with what you were up to. You chuckled because he seemed so serious when he asked, "Didn't you move out to the city? Why the hell are you coming back?" as if the misplacement of seeing someone so glitzy in this boring, dilapidated town didn't apply to him.

So you answered, and Jean turned silent for a moment. He tilted his head downward, and you noticed that he was the same person with the same mannerism. Although he was no longer the 17-year-old boy who used to get all ruffed up in school fight, trying to defend you from some stupid jocks; nor was he still the tall, lanky kid from your Home Economics class that you gave your first kiss to.

Your mind couldn’t help but to race to all the what-ifs, and the presence of Jean before your eyes right now only made the wonderings more palpable.

Jean smiled faintly to your answer, “Congratulations,” he still made his way to pat the side of your head, something he used to do every time, “big step, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s scary.”

“So, who’s the lucky guy? Anyone I know from school?” Jean said, faking the enthusiasm in his tone, but you didn’t notice. Because in your mind, it would be an absurd idea to think that you would still have the tiniest bit of effect on Jean, for he had outgrown all the memories he ever had with you.

“No, no,” you tried to mask the bitterness that suddenly emerged on the back of your tongue, “we met at work. He’s a great guy.”

Indeed, he was. The reason why you returned home was because you were getting married, and your fiancée wanted to be close with your family, for he didn’t have one growing up. He was an exceptional man, he had this magnetism in him, with the way he perceived things, to the abiding tenacity he had in him.

Your fiancée was a man you knew you could lean on in the eye of adversity. That’s why you agreed to marry him. But then again, there was always a void inside your heart that had no resolve to it for so many years. Your fiancée was your foundation, and yet, perhaps selfishly, you still yearned for the childish laughter and the irreplaceable feeling of freedom you once had with the man standing tall before you. Whose glance never failed to make you feel the most at ease with.

“He must be a pretty great guy to get you,” Jean’s faint smile grew into a grin, he was trying to down play the commotion he started to feel within his chest, “what’s his name? So, I can picture him.”

You laughed, because it was only natural for you to do so in the presence of the first guy you had fallen for, the first guy to ever told you how pretty you were and how all your imperfections never mattered to him, the first one to bring your teary face into his embrace after a gruesome day, before saying, ‘I never thought it’s possible. But, crazy, seeing you cry hurts me too.’

However, you knew, that all those memories had passed by and you were happy with where you were now. “Reiner,” you smiled at the mention of his name, “my fiancée’s name is Reiner Braun. He’s… amazing.”

“Wow. Tough name. Probably someone I’d stay clear from in high school.”

Both of you laughed, and the two of you continued to talk, as you walked him through the desolated alleys to find the sandal that he wanted to buy, and Jean walking you to the towel aisle that you had meant to buy one for Reiner, only to find out that they had stopped selling towels since long time ago. The laughter and reminiscing persisted until the cashier row when Jean heard your stomach grumble. Both of you exchanged glances and broke into yet another laughter.

“Salerno’s?” Jean said, suggesting the pizza place off the highway, where you had spent so many dates with him back then.

“How could I ever say no to that?”

“Settled, then. Did you drive here?” Jean’s eyes gazed afar to the parking lot, strangely looking for the old car you used to drive back in school, before realizing that thirteen years had passed and there was no chance that sickly car could ever survive the time.

“No, actually Reiner dropped me and—” As if staged by the universe, your phone rung and Reiner was calling, “—right in time, it’s him!”

You walked away from Jean for a moment as he looked for his car key inside jacket. Across the line, Reiner was gruntling, his voice was hazy, “Babe—”

“Reiner, I bumped into an old friend!” there was a sing-songy tone in your words. Through the phone, Reiner chuckled, picking up the excitement in your voice, even though it was getting more apparent that Reiner was drowsy, “Anyway babe, can you get an Uber? I took the cough syrup your mum gave me, and now I’m sleepy as fuck. ‘Fraid I won’t be able to drive.”

You turned to Jean and saw him jingling his car key at you, before returning back to Reiner on the phone, “Rei, I think my friend can drive me home. I’ll be stopping at Salerno’s, do you want anything? The calzone maybe?”

Reiner yawned, “That sounds nice but—” yet another yawn, “I’m gonna pass out. Come home soon, okay? Tuck me in.”

You cackled at the buff man whining before you said goodbye and followed Jean into his car.

The trip to Salerno’s was nourishing with memories. The poplar trees along the avenue had been replaced by lines of billboards – from advertisement of real estate agent to divorce attorney, they all reminded you of how much the town had changed. Yet the sense of comfort you shared with Jean as you joked about all of the absurd things you saw along the way, had not changed at all.

If for one second you forgot that you were driving in Jean’s expensive car, and that you imagined he was wearing a shabby soccer jersey instead of a tailored-fit shirt – if you closed your eyes and thought that thirteen years hadn’t gone by between the two of you, it almost felt like you rode a time machine to a time when Jean was yours and you were his. And something about the thought of it just broke your heart.

When Jean pulled over at Salerno’s and found out that it’s past the time for dine-in, the two of you decided to eat at his car instead. Jean didn’t even ask what you want and he returned with exactly what you had in mind, the classic calzone, something you always used to have. He remembered.

The two of you laughed, bantered and joked at each other. It felt almost as if no distance had ever been laid out between the two of you, like you hadn’t lived an entirely different life, like he was the same person after all. He hadn’t once made you self-conscious like you thought you would, considering the amount of success he had attained for himself. You felt bad for accusing Jean of the worst, when all it was just a projection of your own insecurity.

“So, you’re getting married on the 15th, and your annoying aunt is not invited?”

“Yeah, thank God for the pandemic somehow. Legit excuse, when all I wanted was not to have her talk shit about Reiner on my wedding day,” you munched through your calzone, talking mindlessly, “as for you, sir, you’re invited. That’s a no-brainer. Hereby I invite thee to my humble dwelling. Bring your model girlfriend, please, so I can brag to my cousins.”

His grin subsided into a weak smile and then into nothing at all, as he sipped on his coke. Suddenly awkward silence loomed within the small space of his car.

“Jean,” you shifted in your seat as the guilt grew on you, realizing the error in your judgment, “sorry I was being presumptuous.”

“No worries, it wasn’t serious. None of it ever was.”

You nodded, engulfed in your own guilt for bringing a bad topic up. The silence let the radio’s murmur to become noticeable, and an old song had just been played through the local radio, a tune that you used to listen with him on the back of your old creaking car after a make-out session filled with enraging teenage hormones.

And I’m in so deep~

You know I’m such a fool for you~

You got me wrapped around your finger I—

Do you have to let it linger?

You sighed and finally looked at Jean with his head hanging low, “Do you want to settle down someday?”

“Eventually.” Jean answered nonchalantly, “Not even sure about the whole relationship thingy.”

“Oh.” An acknowledgment you voiced, before succumbing to yet another silence.

Jean called your name softly and when you turned to face him, he was looking at you. Even in the darkness of the parking lot, you could see his honey eyes gleamed in a look that was so familiar to you—a look of disappointment, “Tell me, how could you never end up working where you’ve always wanted to be?”

You were pulled even deeper into your silence as you looked away. Suddenly a hot rash of sadness started to swallow you whole, “I—”

You tried to voice out a tangible reason, but you had realized that all of it was your own doing. Your insecurity, your self-consciousness, the thought that you were never good enough for the thing you once wanted so bad; all of it led to a life unlived, and to have someone finally putting you in your place was embarrassing, if not painful, “—wasn’t sure if I really wanted it and—”

“—wasn’t sure if I was good enough to pass the test.”

“So, after college, you never ended up applying there? Not even a try?”

You shook your head embarrassed, looking down at your shoes.

Jean sighed and laid his food on the dashboard, before reaching for your right hand and held it warmly into his grasp. He called your name which propelled you to look back at him, “Weren’t you the one who talked me into getting into law school? Even when I thought it was impossible? Weren’t you the one who wrote on my yearbook to-my-future-attorney when everyone was convinced that I’d end up working a mediocre office job? Or a mechanic in my Dad’s shop?”

Jean carried on, “I just… I just don’t understand. How could you have so much conviction for other people but—but yourself?”

You passed a grim smile, as vulnerability started to catch up with you, “Nevermind Jean, it’s passed. I am where I am now.”

“But, wasn’t it your dream?” Jean grew antsy on his seat, it was obvious that he truly didn’t understand, “The pages and pages and pages of diary you wrote about wanting to work there? What happened?”

You sighed, running out of words to say, until you caved in, “Maybe I never knew what I truly wanted.”

“Is that why?” Jean shot another look at you, there was an intensity in his eyes that you had never seen before. There you wondered what had happened to Jean’s life in all those years passed at your absence, had he led a difficult life before getting the success he was enjoying now? “Is that why you left me—because you didn’t know what you truly want?”

Jean understood the consequence of his action, he was a well-accomplished attorney after all. He also understood the vivid pain painted all over your face, but he was taking his shot. Years of wondering where had you gone, what kind of live had you lived – you never ceased to haunt him, all the what-ifs with you he always thought about whenever he broke off yet another meaningless relationship with yet another woman he’d never cared for in his life. Over the years, he’d taken a close look at you. He’d find you on the internet, he’d asked about you to friends of a friend that was still in touch with you, he’d ‘accidentally’ found your legal documents just to see that you had gotten your college degree one year earlier than him. He didn’t know why the thought of you lingered, you just did. Arriving into his dreams where he was seventeen again and unassuming, only for him to wake up disappointed at seeing a woman that wasn’t you in his bed.

For the longest time, Jean had fended for himself to be where he’s now. When survival had finally bore fruits, what else could there be for him? Still, he felt lonely in the embrace of another woman, still he felt the void persisted even if he spent his money on things he didn’t need. Jean never thought, that after years of dreaming to be the person he’s now, all he yearned for was to have a piece of simple, ordinary and innocent happiness he once had with you.

You were, after all, the only thing that could remind him of the innocence Jean had lost after years of grueling work as an attorney—seeing how corrupt and insidious men can be. So, when his wearied eyes landed on the sight of you this evening, in the alley of that long-forgotten Department Store, Jean had no choice but to finally face his haunting.

“Jean, it’s a long time ago,” you smile, cupping his hand with your free hand, “besides, I’m no longer your type, right?” A grin, a playful grin, painfully fabricated and Jean saw right through it.

You could feel the air had gotten thick in his car, and you shifted closer to the door. Jean let go of your hand as he moved closer to you, running his long fingers through your hair. His voice had gotten deep and you could sense a hint of pain in his words, “Maybe I never had a type.”

He dragged his gaze all over your face; your eyes, your nose, your lips – the way he used to reassure that you were so beautiful in his eyes despite the self-hate you inflicted upon yourself, “Maybe all I ever wanted was you and all I ever did with those girls was to try finding you in them,” he forced a smile, so stale, so painful, “to no avail.”

You could feel the air into your lung was compromised as you battled the tears, “Jean…”

“Out of so many things that I have been brave for, I was never brave enough for one thing that I needed the most: to tell you that it’s always been you,” Jean slithered his hands through your waist and pulled you into his embrace. He laid his head, heavy with loneliness and exhaustion on to the nook of your shoulder. For lack of better term, Jean was finally back home, as he muttered, letting go of all his inhibitions, “Baby, it’s always been you. It’s always been you.”

Your whole body was weak with emotions. The thoughts, the persistent ones – the what-ifs you could have had with Jean, the life you could have lived and the dream that could have been fulfilled. Without your permission, the tears fell to your dismay as you thought of one last thing remaining in your heart: Reiner. The way he smiled and listened all through your nightly despairs, caressing you close until you fell asleep, exhausted with tears dried up all over your face. The way Reiner whispered on to your ear, amidst your drowsiness, that he loved you and that he promised to make you whole, to fill the void you had always feared for. All the little things he had done without you asking, or the way he loved your family as if they were his own.

You cursed yourself for being surprised at how much you realized that you truly loved Reiner, even when you were in the embrace of someone you wondered about often. You realized, the best way to prove to someone that you love them was to stick around. And Reiner had stuck around, as much as you stuck around for him.

You left Jean long time ago for reasons you only vaguely remembered now, but life went on and sooner or later you should make it in your heart to accept it. You smiled and thought of your life. Sure, there was a lot of thing you need to patch up, but what is life if not persevering?

You pulled away from Jean, surprised to see a beaten look on his face. Far away from the dandy and sharp young attorney you would see on the news. Once, you loved this man, but years had passed and the one he wanted was no longer there. You were no longer the person you were thirteen years ago. You were no longer the girl Jean longed for, all he wished for was a passing ghost that you have left behind in your adolescence.

You caressed his cheek for the last time and landed a kiss to his forehead, “Jean, I’m so proud of you. How far you have gone. I’m sorry I wouldn’t be the one you’d share your future achievement with, but for all the things you have done to me, for seeing the good in me when I could hardly see it… I want to say thank you,” you smiled although pain was searing within your chest, “there’s a world out there where this would work out. But not this world.”

The unexpected rendezvous you had with the man whom you had given your first love to ended with both of you crying at each other’s embrace, until Salerno’s closed and turned off their lights.

When Jean finally dropped you at your childhood home, the place he used to spend all the times in, Jean smiled and pointed at your room with the lights still lit, “He’s waiting?”

“I think he’s asleep. He’s a deep sleeper, he forgets to turn off the lights every time.”

“Does he even fit in your tiny bed?”

“Well, you did fit.”

“For a time.”

“Yeah, for a time.”

“So, you’ll be Mrs. Braun?”

“Yep, Mrs. Braun I will be.”

Jean scoffed, pretending to be annoyed, but smiling nonetheless, “Lucky bastard, that Mr. Braun.”

[lilyofthestyx]

Fighting for Tomorrow:  Chapter Five

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I haven’t bought AOT or a few characters would still be alive/not in mental anguish

Reiner x Fem!Reader, eventual Captain Levi x Fem!Reader, Sasha x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 8.8k

TW: gore/blood/violence/death, adult language/swearing, slight PTSD, reader woke up and chose violence

You can read parts one, two, three, and four just by tapping the lovely numbers!

   Stumbling down the street towards the alley, I grip my thigh. As I round the corner into an alley, I slam my back up against the brick and risk a peek. The Abnormal stomps away- not even looking over at me. 

   What the Hell just happened?

   A hiss leaves my mouth as the wound opens up more and weeps blood onto my palm.

   Whatever happened doesn’t matter- if I don’t get some medical equipment soon I’ll pass out on the street. My eyes dart to the roof just above me. If I can get up there, I’ll be easier to spot and can get help faster. But it puts me more at risk at getting snatched… again.

   But if I stay down here and wait for help, I can bleed out.

   Taking a deep breath, I look to the clouds in the sky. If I get out of here, I’m going to watch those clouds with Reiner and the others.

   I can hear his voice. 

   ‘When,’ he says gently, firmly. ‘When you get out of here’.

   ‘What a big lug,’ I tell him mentally, getting to my feet again. ‘Always the motivator, though.’

   I can see his head fall back with laughter- the sound of it reverberating around me and wrapping me in its embrace. Strong and something that shakes his whole body from the stomach out. Each laugh like he’s never laughed a day in his life. 

   ‘Just get on the roof already, darling,’ he says. I can feel his always-warm hand wrapped around mine, his fingers aligning with mine on the triggers. 

   My body shoots up and I release the triggers- allowing myself to fall back to the earth. The collision forces my feet from under me and I fall forward, breathless. Coughing, I roll onto my back. ‘That sucked,’ I tell him. 

   ‘Didn’t look fun,’ I can hear him say as I stare up at the clouds. ‘But when you’re back, I’ll give you a massage.’

   I scoff and roll back onto my stomach, tucking my foot under me and pushing me to my feet. ‘I just want to get back.’

   ‘You will.’

   I’m panting now as I hold my thigh. The streets are emptied completely, only debris and bodies scattered on the cobblestone. Titan heads bob over houses- too far away to notice me. My eyes strain even more to hopefully catch a glimpse of any of my comrades.

   “Oiii!” Someone yells, much too light-heartedly.

   I turn to the voice as two people land on the roof behind me. They’re both tall- one only slightly taller than the other. The man has perfectly-styled hair and presses his mouth into a thin line. The other has long brown hair hastily thrown up into a bun and glasses strapped to their face.

   “What’re ya doing down here?” The shorter one of the two squawks before a long drawn-out gasp comes from their mouth. “Did you just fight that Abnormal?!” they ask, hands holding either side of their blushing face. 

   Blinking slowly, I consider my options. I can’t be honest with them. I’d be locked in a mental institution for the rest of my life if I did. “...kinda,” I wince, gesturing to my leg. “I didn’t fight it as much as it tried to rip me apart.”

   The man hurries to me and examines my leg. “...did you make this yourself?” He asks, looking up at me as he gestures to the contraption wrapped around my leg.

   I nod. “Just outta some stuff from that store over there,” I mumble, using my blade to gesture to the crumbling building.

   Shocks of pain shoot up from my leg as the man prods at my thigh. “Sorry!” He blurts, jerking his hand away from the wound. 

   The other person hums, eyes flicking behind their glasses as they examine my wound. “Bit of a nasty one there… You’ll bleed out soon… And we can’t have our best piece of evidence go to waste!” They grab my arm and pull me to their side, tucking an arm around my waist. “Hold on tight- we’ll get ya back to the wall and stitch you back up- and then you can tell me all about that Titan!”

    Did this nutcase just call me ‘evidence’?

   “I’ve heard you’re a bit of a reckless one,” the medic mutters as he wraps my leg with bandages. 

   I chuckle and hide my blushing face in my shoulder. “How’d ya guess?”

   The medic gestures over his shoulder to the town below us. “My boyfriend was one of the ones in that lift in HQ. Told me about you jumping off the lift and charging a Titan head-on without gear.”

   “...ah…” I laugh again, feeling my face heat up even more. 

   “Don’t worry,” the medic chuckles as he puts his tools into a medkit. “He told me how you and some other basically saved their asses, too.”

   “At least I’m a reckless nutjob instead of a reckless brat.”

   The medic laughs and gets to his feet. “Don’t expect to use that leg any time soon, alright?”

   I nod and the medic walks away from me. Sighing, I look up to the clouds.

   Gods, I hope they all made it okay. I hope Eren plugged- or plugs- the wall. I hope this all can just… be over. I want it to be over with. One day. Just one day of rest. That’s all I want. I don’t even want to rest. If I can have one day to breathe- I’ll shut my mouth and do whatever’s asked of me for the rest of my short life.

   But I guess this will have to do for the time being.

   Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath in.

   “__________!”

   My eyes shoot back open and my head lolls to the side. Connie, Marco, Jean, and Annie run to me. A smile crosses my face as I wave them over. “Glad t’see you’re alright,” I laugh as they slide to the floor beside me. “Surprised Freckles here hasn’t chided your ears off.” I tease, looking up at one pink-faced Marco. 

   “Not for lack of trying, eh, Annie?” Connie laughs, elbowing Annie’s arm.

   Her lips turn softly into a smile behind her gold curtain of hair. Jean nudges Marco as Marco’s face continues to grow in redness. “She’s not wrong.”

   Marco rolls his eyes and gestures down to my leg. “I’m just surprised you haven’t gotten yourself killed.”

   The group turns to face him- shock very plainly on our faces. Marco’s ears suddenly grow even more red as he tries to backtrack over his words. “...would ya look at that!” I laugh, “Kid’s got jokes!”

   The group chuckles. “So…” Connie says, poking the bandage wrapped around my thigh. “How’d ya get this one?”

   “And how are you explaining it to Reiner?” Annie adds, a small smile on her lips. 

   I groan. “...I’d rather take my chances with another Abnormal.”

  “‘Another’?” Marco asks, eyebrows furrowing. “You fought an Abnormal?”

   Flashes of that grocery store play in my eyes. The arm reaching in, grabbing my leg and dragging me out into the street. The mouth- the eyes. Red. I can see it clearly now. Red. And glowing.

   “Well?” Jean presses, arms crossed over his chest and an eyebrow raised. “Did you?”

   It put me down. It listened to me and put me down- and then it walked away.

   “I just…,” I stop and shrug. “I got my ass beat by one. Does that count?”

   “I can see that,” Connie mutters as he stares at the various wrappings around my body. “What’d it do to you-”

   “Nothing I can’t handle,” I interrupt, flicking the back of Connie’s head. “Now, don’t you kids have some orders to fulfill?”

   “Yeah,” Marco says, tapping a finger on his gas canister. “We had to fill up. Now that we’re done, we should get back and help with… everything.”

   “So nonchalantly stopping to talk to me while everyone’s down there dying was just…” I shrug, “Like passing an old friend in the market?”

   They all pale in color in front of me. 

   “That’s what I thought,” I snap, gesturing towards the town just past the soles of my shoes. “Now get your asses down there.”

   “Cadet Braus!”

   My whole body jerks as I shoot up, clutching my shirt. Colors and shapes merge together as I frantically try to find the voice. 

   When did I fall asleep? How long was I even asleep?

   “Aye, sir!” I yell, sleep still clouding my vision. Where did the voice come from…? My eyes lazily slide around for the voice as my fist is planted against my chest. No sign of Connie, Marco, Annie, or Jean. Did I dream that? Are they still… Are they still down there?

   A soldier- clothed in a Military Police uniform- stands in front of me with a folded piece of paper in his hand. “A message,” he states, handing it to me. “From Squad Leader Hange Zoë.”

   The soldier leaves without so much as another word. I look down at the paper, running my fingers over the edges of the folds. Hange Zoë? The scientist? 

   Slowly, I unwrap the paper. Memories of that day in ODM training flash in my vision. The pair of strangers in the back of the crowd observing us- the taller one, wasn’t that Hange? 

   Scrambled handwriting is hurried along across the page, like the hand was too eager to get the words out the poor pen couldn’t keep up. Every letter is connected in unsteady lines. 

Cadet Braus, 

Upon your recovery- partial or otherwise- you are to be interviewed by me on the topic of your engagement with an Abnormal.

-Hange Zoë

PS: we’ll be accompanied by Captain Levi- don’t let him intimidate you :)

   The Captain Levi? 

   Gods, as if my day couldn’t get any worse.

   Folding the paper back up, I tuck it into my bra. I’m now to be put through two wonderful events. Go see Reiner first and get a new asshole and then go see Hange Zoë and try to explain to them how I had my entire body slammed against a roof multiple times. 

   I’m too tired for this. With the amount of blood I’ve lost in the past few hours, I should be chained to a hospital bed for days- which I can only hope to be the case. A pit begins to eat away in my stomach as I stare out at Trost just below me. 

   I should’ve died.

   My fingers brush against the familiar fabric of bandages around my torso. 

   This… This wound alone should have killed me.

   Why… why didn’t it?

   And then the roof? My skull should’ve split- my body shouldn’t have been able to move at all, much less end up here. Why did I…?

   And then the Titan. Abnormal or not- it should have killed me. I should not be alive. Why did it put me down? Why did it walk away? It was going to eat me and I wouldn’t have been able to do a damn thing about it. 

   So why didn’t it? Why am I still here?

   Why did I get lucky so many times when my comrades are dying for much more insignificant reasons?

   I turn my gaze from the hellfire below me to the cloudy heavens above me.

   I need to talk to Reiner about this. He’ll understand- he can help.

   I hope.

   “You need t’get some sleep,” I say quietly, my hand resting against Rei’s face. “You look exhausted.”

   “...I am,” he chuckles coldly. The movement causes the prickle of stubble to graze against my palm. 

   “You also need t’shave,” I tease, “Or are you finally gonna try out that rugged stubble look that I’ve been begging you to try?”

   Reiner rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Never.” His hand comes up from his lap and rubs against his jaw in thought. “...I’ll shave later.”

   My lips turn downwards into a pout. “Boo… Maybe one day?”

   “...nope.”

   The room goes quiet. I can see him clutching his thigh and the way his eyes keep drifting to the various instruments surrounding me- the blood bag oozing blood down into my arm, the bag of saline beside it. His hands twitch in his lap again. The soft-green room smells too much like metal. And it’s freezing. Reiner’s eyes finally settle on me. His golden gaze is just that; glimmering and seemingly hard but soft in all reality. 

   “How is it out there?”

   “...it smells like death everywhere you go,” he says quietly, his face sinking deeper into my palm. “There’s so many… so many dead.”

   “Have you found him yet?” I ask gently, praying he says… I don’t know. I don’t want him to say yes. I don’t want him to say no. I just… I need to know where he is.

   “Marco’s still missing.”

   My lip trembles as he speaks. Taking a sharp inhale in, I look to the ceiling and close my eyes. There’s still hope. It’s only been a day- there’s still hope. I can still see him. He’s going to be okay.

   Slowly, I nod. “...okay. Okay. Just… keep me updated, please?”

   “As soon as we find him, you’ll know.”

   I sigh. “I’m glad everyone else is okay,” I mumble, “I’m glad you’re okay.” Reiner’s eyes dart to my body again. Taking his face into both of my hands, I duck into his gaze. “Don’t do that. Don’t you dare.”

   “__________, if I had been there-”

   “If you had been there…” I trail off, remembering the shape I was in. “...I don’t know what would’ve happened- but it wouldn’t have been much better.”

   “You could’ve died.”

   “I know. I know but… listen to me- I’m… I’m not dead. I’m here. I’m alive. I… I don’t know how but I am, okay?,”

   “So you can stop gripping your knees to stop yourself from touching me- I’m not glass.”

   Reiner’s hands come up and wrap around my wrists gently. “__________… I need to tell you something… if anything were to happen to you and you didn’t know- I don’t know…”

   Softly, I press my lips to his and rest my forehead against his. “You can tell me anything... and when you’re done… I have something to tell you, too.” I chuckle lightly, “And I need you to keep an open mind about it, alright?”

   Reiner’s eyebrows furrow, “...okay… but only if you do the same for me.”

   A smile crosses my lips as I pull away, letting my hands trail down his face, his neck, his chest before resting on the bed. His hand follows after mine, wrapping it over mine. “I can do that,” I mumble. My eyes flick up to his, “As long as you aren’t gonna confess something like ‘I’m your classmate that stalked you for years and then blackmailed you into marriage’.”

   “Damn,” Reiner mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. “Took the words right outta my mouth.”

   I scoff and punch his shoulder, “Shuddup ‘nd tell me.”

   Reiner’s smile quickly fades- breaking down into something crooked and broken before disappearing completely. Something in the depths of my gut tells me whatever it is isn’t good. I brace myself as Reiner opens his mouth to speak.

   “Cadet Braus?”

   My eyes tear away from Reiner’s face to the group that walks into my hospital room. The two Scouts from the rooftop are in the doorway- accompanied with a sharply-dressed, shorter man with no expression. The way he carries himself, the way he looks up and down the walls in disdain- his arms crossed and hands tucked under his biceps- without a doubt, he’s Captain Levi.

   And he’s… surprisingly underwhelming. Even in memories, he was always tall. Tall and broad-shouldered and with a commanding aura. Maybe I’m thinking of Commander Erwin. Or Reiner when he’s tired of mine and the others’ shit.

   “Yes, sir.” I state, placing my fist over my heart. 

   Reiner gets off his seat and goes into a salute, only to be eyed up and down by Captain Levi. 

   “Who’s the extra brat?” He mutters, arching an eyebrow.

   Something flares up in my stomach as Captain Levi continues eyeing Reiner like he was something he stepped in. Fists clutching my blanket, I breathe in slowly. It’s just intimidation. It’s always just intimidation. It’s fine. 

   “Cadet Reiner Braun, sir,” Reiner says firmly, his chest slightly puffed and shoulders taut. He’s nervous. He always goes rigid when he’s nervous. 

   “Relation?” Captain Levi asks, eyes drifting between the two of us.

   “We’re uh…” Reiner trails off, looking back over his shoulder at me. “Romantically… involved.”

   Hange laughs, grabbing my attention from the encounter between Captain Levi and Reiner. They tug a chair that leaned against the wall. They sit down on it and scoot it closer to my bed, looking at me with unadulterated glee. 

   ...I can see where the ‘Mad Scientist’ jokes came from.

   “...are you going to stay?” The man from the roof asks Reiner.

   Reiner looks back at me, worry very obviously etched into his face. His jaw clenches before his mouth opens. I cut him off. “You’ve been here with me for way too long… Go get something to eat. Maybe go take a nap. I’ll be okay.”

   Reiner’s mouth opens again. I beat him to the punch again. “That’s an order, Cadet Braun.” He caves without another word. Slipping past the man in the doorway, Reiner offers one last smile- before disappearing down the hallway. 

   My attention is quickly grabbed by Squad Leader Hange. They squeal, grasping my arm and running their fingers along the length of the plastic tube pumping blood into me. “How fascinating!” They hum with a smile on their face. “Moblit- gimme my notepad.”

   The man from the doorway dashes forward into action, pulling a beaten notepad from thin air. Captain Levi silently sits in a chair in the corner of the room. I notice he doesn’t lean up against the wall- he doesn’t even touch the wall, actually. He sits just far enough away from the wall that he doesn’t touch it but not far away enough that he’s in the center of the room. 

   What a strange man.

   “Eh?” Hange looks up at me, pushing their glasses further up their face. Their eyes flick between me and Captain Levi before a laugh passes their lips. “Oh, don’t mind Shortie over there. He’s only here to make sure I don’t… overwhelm you.” Their eyes turn back down to their notepad as they hurriedly scribble something down. “I’ve been known to… get carried away…,”

   “Moblit!” They suddenly squawk- sending the already-frazzled man into a hurried pace to the Squad Leader’s side. “Hand me Cadet Braus’ file.” Moblit nods once and lifts his coat to reveal a… rather thick file with various papers jutting out. 

   Is that… is that really only about me? I haven’t gotten into that much trouble, have I?

   Hange hums to themself as they open the file and scan through the pages before flipping to another page. Their eyes meet mine as I stare worriedly down at the file. “Oh, don’t worry!” They laugh, “I take the liberty of delving into my subjects- interviewees! Interviewees. My... interviewees’ backgrounds.”

   Slowly, I nod. This person is obviously a tiny bit unhinged. But there’s something about them that sparks some morbid interest in me. Besides- aren’t all Scouts a bit unhinged?

   Hange sighs happily and plucks a paper out from the file. “I’ve another interview so I’m a tad pressed for time- with your boss’ son, actually! So we’ll just get into it, yeah?” They ask with a smile.

   “You’re seeing Eren?” I ask, excitement bubbling in my throat. “He’s alive? He’s okay?”   Hange goes silent, their mouth pressing into a thin line. “He stands trial today,” Captain Levi answers from his corner- all flat and emotionless. “To see what’s going to be done about him.”

   ‘What’s going to be done about him’...?

   They wouldn’t… kill Eren, would they? 

   He sealed the wall- he saved Trost, why would they?

   “Shall we begin?” Hange asks, peering at me over their glasses. I nod silently and Hange hums. Adjusting their glasses, they scan the paper. “You’re __________ Braus of the 104th Cadet Corps… age twenty-one years… Sister, Sasha Braus...,” Hange stops and looks up at me. “You were living in Shiganshina when it fell?”

   “Yes.”

   “...but you previously lived in Wall Rose? Until you were…,” Hange stops, flipping through the papers before settling on one. “Fifteen?”

   “Yes.”

   Hange nods and marks something down on their notebook. “...and you’re romantically involved with Cadet Reiner Braun,” they ask, not taking their eyes off the paper.

   “Yes.”

   “...Squad Leader of Squad Thirty-Two with members… Floch Forster, Franz Kefka, Hanna Diamant, and Gordon Bov.”

   “...just Floch and Gordon now.” I answer quietly.

   Hange’s eyes flick up over the top of the file. Their voice is softer now, “Oh… I’ll… I’ll be sure to note that.” They start to write something down- much less hurried and with more care. I take a slow breath in, forcing the memories of Hanna and Franz back down into my gut instead of at the back of my throat.

   “Um… what was I…? Ah, yes,” Hange clears their throat and leans forward. “The good part,” they whisper, raising their eyebrows with a small smile. “What happened that caused you to be separated from your squad? Your commanding officers had told me that you were reassigned to a new squad with new members- your sister being one of them.”

   “We had just led a ten-meter towards the wall,” I start, remembering the scene. “We were heading back out towards the middle of town- someone in our squad had seen a Titan roaming around near the shopping district.”

   I sigh and shake my head, “Nobody knew it was an Abnormal… We all just thought it was a fifteen-meter.” My eyes widen as I see it pounce forward- its jaws snapping shut and crushing our Squad Leader. “...I remember seeing it jump and decapitate our Squad Leader… his head… his head landed at my feet,”

   “...I gave the order to retreat to the wall almost immediately. It was just us five Cadets- we couldn’t have taken an Abnormal on by ourselves. As we were making our way to the wall, the Abnormal- it waited until I shot my ODM wires out and grabbed them… and it didn’t even pull me into its mouth,” I mumble, eyebrows furrowing. “It just… It just grabbed my wires and used them to slam against a rooftop. Over. And over. And over again.” My fingers subconsciously rub the bandages around my thigh as my eyes turn from Hange. I focus on the bedsheets covering my wounds, remembering each detail.

   “When it finally let me go, I rolled off the roof, shot myself into a window and took cover in a store… I made that brace and wrapped myself with whatever I could when…” I can hear the crackling of wood and shattering of stone and glass as the hand reaches towards me. 

   “When what?” Hange asks, excitement plainly in their voice. The grip on their pen makes it tremble in their fist. 

   “...it came back,” I mumble, “It dragged me out into the street and then it-” My eyebrows unfurrow, face dropping as I remember. It lifted me up, opened its mouth and when I screamed at it- it just… put me down. Walked away. And its eyes. Its eyes were glowing. 

   “It… it put me down.”

   Hange’s head snaps up from their notepad. “It what?”

   “It… put me down?” I laugh breathlessly, running a hand through my hair. “I dunno either; I just remember it was opening its mouth and then it just… put me down and left.”

   Hange can barely hold still as they hurriedly scribble down my words onto their paper. “And what then? Did it even look at you after? Or did you immediately go to the rooftop where you were found? Oh, what am I saying- of course you went to the rooftop. Did you get a look into its mouth? Or! Did you see its eyes? Any of its facial features? Anything at all worth noting?!”

   “Oi, oi, oi, oi,” Captain Levi speaks up from the corner of the room. “Four-eyes, calm down. You’ll scare the shit outta this brat if you keep it up.”

   Hange takes a deep breath in and steadies their hands. “Shortie’s right,” they mutter, adjusting their glasses. “I got carried away… can you tell me anything about the Abnormal?”

   Red eyes- they glowed only after I started yelling at it. They glowed and it put me down. It. Put. Me. Down.

   No, no. I just imagined it.

   “Just that its eyes were brown.”

   I was picked up and put back down but its eyes were normal.

   “And that its breath smelled like shit.”

   Nothing else happened.

   “I was pretty out of it.”

   Nothing.

   “I had lost a lot of blood when you found me.”

   Else.

   “I’m just glad you did.”

   Happened.

   “__________, please,” Sasha pleads as I stumble down the hallway.

   Tugging my new Cadets jacket tighter over my shoulders, I keep moving forward. “I’m not taking up a hospital room when others need it more,” I mutter, scanning each doorway plaque as we walk down the hall. “Besides, if I was going to stay in that sterile nightmare any longer, I was gonna attack someone.”

   “You’re still healing, the doctor hasn’t-!”   “I’m perfectly capable of diagnosing myself,” I laugh quietly, “Doctor Yaeger taught me well.” Sasha groans behind me. “Oh- quit your whining. You act like you’ve never acted like this.”

   “I haven’t!”

   “Lies- the winter before you turned six, you got sick with a cold. Had to have Mom basically drug you so Dad and I could go hunting.”

   “I wasn’t even six!”

   My eyes catch the plaque I had been looking for. “Shuddup, we’re here,” I mutter, grabbing the handle of the door and pushing it open slightly. “You comin’ with?”

   Sasha sighs and shakes her head. “I’ve got… I’ve got body duty.”

   I let go of the door handle and take her into my arms, squeezing her slightly. She returns the hug with a shuddering sigh. “...we can talk about it after you get back, okay?” I suggest softly, running my fingers up her back. “And when we’re all free, we can go sneak down to our lake and go for a swim- alright?”

   Sasha pulls away and nods. “I’ll see you tonight.”

   “Bye, love.”

   Sasha heads back down the hall before calling over her shoulder, “Don’t pop anymore stitches!” and disappearing out the door. 

   What a brat.

   I turn back to the door and knock gently. “It’s __________, Eren,” I call softly. “Can I come in?”

   “Yeah.”

   Pushing the door open, I step in and immediately gasp. Eren’s bloodied and bruised- covered in gashes and cuts. “What the Hell did they-” I stop, noticing the other presences in the room. Captain Levi stands against the wall opposite Eren, arms crossed over his chest. He eyes me up and down coolly before returning his gaze to Eren.

   I immediately go into a salute, slamming my fist against my chest. “I- I’m sorry, Captain- I didn’t-”

   He waves me off without a word. His eyes are trained on Eren- the steel grey hard and immovable from Eren’s form across the room. There is something… ancient in the Captain’s eyes. Like a primordial guardian. Something that has seen ages past- and awaits for the next twist.

   Something twitches deep in my stomach.

   Why am I staring so intensely at this man- why am I so intrigued with this man?

   I tear my eyes away from the deceptively youthful face before me. They instead settle on Eren, who huddles against the wall with his legs pressed to his chest. Blood is pouring from his nose- which sits jaggedly on his face. There’s various bruises and cuts that slice through his skin. Purple and blue, this poor kid...

   Rushing over, I start to poke and prod his face. “What the hell happened to you?” I hiss, forcing one of his eyes to open as I examine the damage to his actual eye. Eren is silent, only mildly twitching in pain away from my fingers. 

   I growl. I didn’t bring my medical bag. Why would I have?! It was a hearing- not a goddamn boxing match.

   “Who did this to you?” I ask firmly, staring deep into Eren’s eyes. Eren shakes his head. Sighing, my eyebrows furrow as I look at his broken nose. “I bet it was those Military Police jackasses, wasn’t it?”

   “__________…”

   I scoff, “It was, wasn’t it? Those sick assholes- thinking they can shit on us because they deemed us ‘less worthy’... makes me sick-”

   “__________-” Eren hisses.

   I shake my head, allowing the spew of words to slice past my lips. “Which one’a them was it? You point them out next time and I’ll swing, I swear. Cut for cut, hit for hit- they’ll get it back-”

   “__________!” Eren snaps, eyes locked onto me. 

   “What?” I snap back, eyebrows furrowing even more as I stare up at him. Eren’s eyes widen and then narrow back to their original shape before he glances across the room. I squint in thought before turning around. 

   Captain Levi is still reclined against the wall- portraying a false sense of relaxation. His eyes are still fixated on Eren but… from this angle I can see the way the hardness in his eyes blends with determined ferocity. And an absolute lack of remorse. 

   I turn back to Eren, fists clutching the leather straps around my thighs. “...did he do this to you…?” I ask quietly- not even a whisper.

   “It was for my own good-”

   With that, I’m standing back up and whirling around to face Captain Levi. He’s impassively staring up at me as I lunge forward- fist tightened and cocked back. Eren’s off his seat and grabbing at my arm, “__________! Calm down, would ya?!”

   A growl bubbles up from my throat as I let my fist fly forward. Eren yells my name again, grabbing my forearm and pulling it back. I struggle against him for a moment- chest heaving with breath as I stare unblinkingly at Captain Levi. Strands of hair fall onto my face, now free from the messy updo I had it in as I walked out of the hospital. 

   The door swings open.

   The three of us turn towards the noise. Hange is standing in the doorway, medical supplies in their hands. Their eyes dart from each person in the room before an awkward smile crosses their face. They hold the medical supplies up, “...I’m back?”

   Commander Erwin stands back up, walking to my side. I bristle as he nears me- having allowed one of his highest-ranking officers to beat the living shit outta my kid doesn’t exactly sit right with me. My eyes are locked on said officer as he pushes himself off the wall and plops down beside Eren. Something churns in my stomach as I watch Eren’s eyes light up. 

   He had worshipped Commander Erwin and Captain Levi. Would go on and on about them- even as a kid living in Shiganshina. Even I had come to appreciate their efforts for the advancement of humanity. But now-

   “I take it you’re Cadet Braus,” Commander Erwin comments from beside me. 

   “Yes sir,” I say curtly, not taking my eyes off of Captain Levi and Eren as the two talk quietly. 

   Commander Erwin chuckles, “Hange mentioned your past with him.” He gestures to Eren with his hand. I note the various patches and slices of lighter, tougher skin on the back of his hand.

   Even the Commander himself has not gone unscathed when it comes to Titans. 

   “I worked under his father- his mother was like one to me in a time where I needed a mother to guide me,” I explain quietly, “...I spent years looking after him. Him and a few others.”

   Commander Erwin nods solemnly beside me. “...I admire your ferocity.”

   My eyebrows furrow and I finally tear my eyes off Captain Levi. Almost attacking a senior officer isn’t something I would think gets rewarded in the Scouts. “Sir?”

   “Not everyone would be so willing to charge Humanity’s Strongest Soldier,” he explains, blue eyes staring down at me with slight amusement. “It speaks for your character, Cadet.”

   A sudden blush rises in my cheeks at his words. Admiration? By Commander Erwin himself? I swallow quickly and slam my fist over my heart. “Thank you, sir.”

   Hange walks up to us, smiling widely. “I just ran out of supplies for Eren and thought I’d take you along to help me carry some things,” they suggest, grabbing my arm and tugging me out of my salute. “You don’t mind, do you Erwin?”   Erwin shakes his head, “Cadet Braus and I had just finished talking.” Hange lets out an ecstatic squeal and tugs me outside. I turn back to look at Eren, only to note the Commander’s eyes still locked on me as Hange pulls me out of the doorway. 

   The door clicks shut behind us. Hange lets out a long sigh and runs a hand down their face. “Whew!” They exclaim as they lead us down the hallway. “Heard ya almost attacked Shortie,” they giggle and sigh. “I’d love to see that fight.”

   I scoff a bit, “I’d end up dead- that’s for sure.”

   Hange’s head snaps towards me. My eyes widen as I realise I spoke out of turn. Feeling the heat in my face, I open my mouth to speak- but instead get cut off by their raucous laughter. They clutch their sides and wipe a tear that streams down their soft skin. “Finally!,” they yell triumphantly, “A Cadet with a sense of humor.” They sigh happily and continue leading us down the hallway. “It’s so much like talking to scared cats sometimes... Boring answers from boring Cadets.”

   A warm feeling starts to seep under my skin. Pride. Pride and joy. I was becoming close to a Scout- a veteran. Smiling, I puff out my chest slightly. “I’m glad to be of service.”

   We round the corner. Hange continues their rambling- somehow enrapturing me with their tales of Titan experiments and expeditions outside the walls. My eyes remain focused on them as we continue down the hallway. They’re so animated, so passionate. It’s truly a breath of fresh air. I was honestly so, so, so goddamned tired of being surrounded by straight-laced soldiers.

   Minus Jean, Marco, Connie, and Sasha. Soldiers, yes. Straight-laced, no. 

   My lips quirk upwards as I remember their collective habit of running around in the woods at night, giggling like little kids. Marco even would go- as serious he is at times. He’d be more hesitant, more quiet but eventually he’d warm up to the idea. ‘I’m already out here,’ he would say, ‘Might as well make it so the punishment’s worth it.’

   I miss that kid.

   “Oh?” Hange asks, turning to face me. “Did I bore you?”

   I shake my head and laugh, “I don’t think that’s possible, Squad Leader.”

   Hange’s oak-colored eyes narrow as they scan me. Not in suspicion. Concern. Finally, they nod to themself and continue discussing the possibility of experimenting on two new Titans their squad had found on their last expedition. I’m clinging to their words, their plans. As they glance over at me from time to time, it becomes obvious they’re making sure they haven’t lost me to boredom or indifference. 

   It’s plainly obvious there’s not many interested (or willing) listeners in their acquaintance. 

   “Hange!” Someone behind us yells, boot-heavy footsteps clunking down the hallway. “Squad Leader Hange!”

   Hange stops their rambling and turns, pushing their glasses up their nose. “Eh? What is it, Eld?”

   Eld?

   I spin around, smile widening at the sight. Eld stops just in front of us. “Hange, Captain Levi asked me to find you.”

   “What is it Shortie wants?”

   “Eren’s…” Eld trails off, his eyes flicking over to me. His face visibly turns pink as Hange’s eyes narrow- shifting between Eld and I. “Eren’s Titan… T-Titan powers… They’re… uhm…” 

   I arch an eyebrow, smile turning into an amused smirk as I watch him keep himself together. How he managed to become some big-shot Titan slayer handpicked by Captain Jackass is beyond me. He’s always been some skittish pup with his tail tucked between his legs. To see him in any other light is… Unnatural. 

   Eld notices my smirk and turns even more pink. “They’re healing him!” Eld finally blurts, shoulders and back rigid.

   “Oh?” Hange taps their chin with their finger in thought. They mutter to themselves under their breath before turning back to us. “Take us back, then! If you can find your way, of course.” They smirk mischievously, eliciting a stifled laugh from myself.

   Eld nods once, turning on his heel to lead us back down the hallway. I can still see the blush reaching his ears. As we walk through the winding hallways, Hange leans down and whispers in my ear. “I had no idea where the medical supplies were,” they admit with a small giggle, “It was simply an excuse to get you out of that room.”

   “I appreciate it,” I sigh, remembering I’ll have to be in the same room as Captain Jackass again. 

   “So…,” they hum, arching an eyebrow, “What’s the deal between you and Ponytail?”

   ‘Ponytail’. I’ll have to remember that one. “...he helped me out a couple years after Shiganshina fell,” I mumble with a small smile, “It had been a rough time and he… Eld gave me a place to sleep, helped me get into the Cadets program.”

   I had prayed he would be alive.

   I can only hope my prayers are enough for Marco.

   “Has he always been this…?” Hange trails off, gesturing vaguely to the man just a few steps ahead of us. 

   I nod, “He’s always been flustered.” Hange’s eyebrows furrow as they ‘hmph’ in thought. I turn to look at them. “...is he not…?”   Hange shakes their head. “Not normally…”

   …?

   We come back to the room and I take a deep breath. Hopefully, Captain Jackass has left. As I take a step into the room, something at the pit of my stomach tells me otherwise. Commander Erwin is standing beside a wall, arms crossed over his chest. His eyes are on Eren- and Captain Levi, who sits beside Eren. Arm slung over the back of the chair, Captain Levi looks over his shoulder at us.

   “About time.”

   My fists tighten as I will myself to not attack Humanity’s Favorite Jackass. A deep breath is taken once more as I walk to stand at the window. I cross my arms over my chest and stare daggers at the group as Hange excitedly pulls something from their pocket. Eld stands beside me, still blushing.

   Something strange creeps under my skin.

   Is he really only like this around me?

   How could I not have noticed?

   We watch as Eren opens his mouth, allowing Hange to peek inside. Hange’s eyebrows furrow as they look. They reach out and grab Eren’s chin and turn it downwards to get a better look. In buzzing excitement, they tug a notebook out of their coat and frantically scribble down something. My eyes drift from their work to Captain Levi- who’s already glaring at me.

   My eyes narrow in response. Only slightly, not enough to be classified as insubordination. But enough. He turns away, back towards Hange. 

   Gods, if I didn’t have to worry about insubordination, I’d have already swung.

   It was late. Way late. Too late, even for me. ‘Night owl’ was a badge I wore with pride but tonight? Tonight all I wanted was sleep. Deep sleep, dreamless sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. Those nights in the hospital- plagued with nightmares of Hanna, of Franz, of the Red-Eyed Titan. Cold and cruel and filled with the pained moaning of my comrades; both in sleep and in wake. I didn’t get much sleep there.

   All I wanted was to curl up in my bed with my favorite blanket and my favorite brawny blond bastard. 

   I stumble down the hallways, passing by dimly-lit rooms and muffled snores. My eyes are lead-heavy and blinking is an ungodly chore. My footsteps are shuffled as they echo down the hall. I’m too exhausted to pick them up completely with each step.

   All I want is sleep.

   Finally, finally, finally, I come to my door. I can hear Sasha’s snoring from the other side. A warm feeling smooths itself over my skin and deep into my chest. Home. Wherever she is- it’s home. Limp, my hand lands on the doorknob and I lean into the door to open it. It squeaks open slightly and casts a ray of light onto the bunk bed across the room. Mikasa’s mouth hangs slightly open- her black hair fanned out over her pillow. 

   A small smile crosses my lips. I’m glad she didn’t wait up for me. She needs rest.

   Something clatters behind me.

   I turn around. My head swivels as the exhaustion fades away. It’s replaced with that buzz again. Adrenaline. Eyes darting down the empty hallway, they settle on a slightly open door. Voices echo down towards me- too distorted from the walls to be heard properly. Someone passes by the doorway. Blond hair and golden eyes as they shut the door again.

   Reiner. 

   I had hoped he had gone to bed, too, but…

   I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Gods,” I mutter, “I am going to rip him a new asshole.”

   With another huff, I walk down the hall and grip the handle- only for the door to crack open on its own. Bertholdt and Annie are in there, arms crossed and eyes hard. What are they all doing up? It’s nearly morning and by the bags and circles under their eyes, they haven’t slept yet. Weren’t they all out on city cleanup today? They should be-

   “You can’t tell her,” Bertholdt hisses, eyes widening in disbelief. “You want to put her in that position?”

   “I know her- she’d… she’d understand!” Reiner shoots back. He’s on the other side of the door- I can’t see him but I can hear him perfectly. “__________’s good like that.”

   “You really think she’d understand?” Annie asks, an eyebrow arched as she tucks a piece of hair back. “Are you absolutely sure?”

   Reiner sighs. I can picture him running a hand down his face- his eyes pinched closed. “...I can’t keep... lying to her.”

   Lying…?

   “You can’t just… tell her!” Bertholdt’s voice raises before his eyes dart to the door. I tuck back into the shadows in response and pray he didn’t see me. His eyes turn back to the inside of the room. “...how do you know she’ll react the way you think?”

   My brain feels like it’s being pulled fourteen different ways- up and down and backwards and forwards and upside-down and inside-out and-

   What are they talking about? What has Reiner been lying to me about? Why are they all talking about it like this? How bad is it?

   I shake my head. No, no, no, no. Reiner’s my… He’s my other half. Fight and flow- that’s what we are. He… he wouldn’t lie to me if it wasn’t necessary… Right? He’s just… keeping me safe Just like he always does. He keeps me safe…?

   “Look,” Annie says, eyes gliding to Reiner from behind her bangs. “If you do tell her, make sure you know what her response is gonna be, got it?”

   I can hear Reiner sigh again. Much heavier, much more broken. “...fine.” A long pause filled only with small yawns from Annie and Bertholdt. “I’ll wait.”

   Footsteps start heading for the door. I should stay- I should talk to him, talk to them. If there’s any time for this to be a reasonable conversation, it’s now.

   But I panic. I scurry back down the hallway and spin into our room- closing the door behind me. I press my ear against the floor, watching the shadows slink past the door. Swallowing thickly, I watch as one shadow stops in front of my door.

   It gets closer. 

   I get up and grip my clothes. I’m still in my uniform-

   The doorknob starts to turn.

   Fisting the fabric, I lift it over my head as the door swings open. 

   “Woah-” Reiner’s voice comes from behind me. “I thought you were still in the hospital?”

   I swallow my fear and turn to face him. “I… signed myself out.” Reiner’s eyebrows start to furrow- I cut him off before he can tell me off for anything. “Lucky you’re you,” I laugh quietly, “I would’a punched your lights out if you weren’t.”

   “I sure am lucky,” he chuckles, letting his eyes run up and down my body. His features relax and become more and more enraptured with me.

   I shudder.

   Not in pleasure.

   I have never shuddered like that with him before. And Reiner notices. “...is something wrong?” he asks gently, eyes softening.

   Get the words out. Just say them. Let them be said.

   “...I thought you were already asleep,” I mumble, “Why are you still up?”

   Reiner shakes his head and smiles softly. “Had a talk with Annie and Bertholdt about today.”

   “...are you okay?” I ask gently, staring up at him in the darkness. “Do you want to talk to me about it?”

   Reiner shakes his head again and wraps his arms around my back, tugging me into his chest. “Not yet.”

   As I stand there, basking in his warmth, the thoughts overflow within me. 

   Maybe it was just a bad day. 

   Maybe he’s having another one of his… days. 

   Maybe he’s lying about his mental state for my sake.

   Maybe he’s keeping me safe.

   Maybe he had to make a tough call in the field.

   Maybe he did something that got someone hurt.

   Maybe he can’t forgive himself for it.

   Maybe he’s just scared.

   “You can tell me anything,” I whisper, “Whenever you want to talk, love, I’ll be here.”

   My grip on him tightens. My anchor, my rock, my foundation. I cling to him like he’s my tether to sanity. And it’s true. Sasha, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Marco- I am their anchor. Their rock. Their foundation. 

   But who is to be mine except him?

   “I’ll always be right here.”

   “Cadet Braus!”

   Sasha and I straighten up, going into a tight salute. The officer eyes us both- his already-narrow eyes narrowing further as he takes in our appearances. “...Cadet __________ Braus?”

   “That’s me, sir.” I say, tightening up my back even more.

   He seems to smirk to himself, a huffing laugh passing his lips. “Squad Leader Hange has requested you join the experiments scheduled for later this evening.”

   “It would be my pleasure, sir.”

   The officer nods once and walks away, grumbling to himself as he stares at the clipboard in his grubby hand. Sasha and I relax and turn back down to our food. “So…” she mumbles, taking a bite of food and staring up at me through her lashes. “You tell Reiner you almost killed Captain Levi yesterday?”

   I scoff, poking the remnants of congealed porridge. “No. Why should I?” My eyes turn from the globs of oats to Reiner- who sits with Annie and Bertholdt with his head in his hands. “...he’s going through enough without me piling more shit on him.”

   Sasha sighs, pushing her bowl away. My ears perk up and I turn to face her. Whatever’s bothering her must be important. It’s not like her to just push food away. “What is it?” I ask softly. 

   “...Jean, Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt, and I have clean-up duty today.”

   “Again? You had it yesterday- why aren’t they-” I stop. I know exactly why they aren’t letting them rest. This- the hurry to do away with the bodies- it’s to prevent a pandemic. A ‘secondary disaster’ as I remember. The amount of sickness festering within the fallen bodies of our comrades- it’d wipe the remaining soldiers and civilians out faster than any Titan. And we couldn’t fight it with blades and ODM gear. 

   All our resources as a society are focused on military strength. If we can’t fight it with our cannons and blades, there’s little chance we can fight it at all.

   I sigh and grab her hand, running my thumb along her knuckles. “We can talk about it tonight,” I whisper, “I know I said that last night but… it was a long day for us all.”

   Sasha nods and a faint smile plays her lips. “...sounds good.”

   “I’ll even see if I can sneak something out from the cafeteria,” I tease, smiling. 

   Sasha’s eyes brighten and her smile widens. “Sounds great!”

   “__________!”

   I don’t even have time to completely turn around as Hange charges straight for me. “Aren’t they beautiful?!” They cry, wrapping an arm over my shoulders and spinning me to face the two Titans. They’re chained to the floor- nails and spikes driven into their hands, legs, and feet to prevent them from moving. I can, however, see Hange’s persuasion in action. The chains wrapped around their necks, while still tight, are loose enough to allow for some movement. 

   “They’re… quite something,” I mumble, uneasiness settling at the pit of my stomach. I knew they were Titans, real Titans, but it’s just… strange. Seeing them so chained up and docile. The way their glazed eyes stare up towards the sky or the way their digits twitch under the steel of the nails or even the way their wounds give off steam- it’s so underwhelmingly calm when it comes to Titans. I’m only used to fast-paced training and battle, not so much the cerebral calm that Hange seems to specialise in.

   “Here! I have to introduce you!” Hange lets out an excited squeal and tugs me closer to the blond Titan on the left. “This! Is Sawney! Say ‘hi’, Sawney!” Sawney does nothing, simply blinks slowly as it looks down at us. Tutting their tongue, Hange shrugs. “Sawney’s a bit shy. Not good at expression, ya know. But Beane!” 

   Hange tugs me to the other Titan. “Beane here is much more expressive! Say ‘hello’, Beane!” Beane- a brunet Titan with dark brown eyes- is chained lying down. Its eyes slowly glide to look at us before a long exhale passes its lips. A low groan echoes around the sectioned-off area. Hange jumps up excitedly before gripping my shoulders again. “He likes you!”

   Moblit runs up behind us, “Squad Leader! You’re too close!”

   “Tch,” Hange rolls their eyes, “__________ ‘nd I are fine! Beane even said hello to her!”

   Moblit runs a hand down his face, “Please, take a few steps back. If you’re too close-”

   “No great steps are ever made without risk,” Hange cuts in. “But fine. Seeing as Cadet Braus is with me.”

   The three of us walk away from the Titans. Peeking over my shoulder, I watch as the Titans watch us. Glazed eyes- dead eyes- but they just… watch. Emptily. Soullessly. 

   I remember red eyes. 

   “Squad Leader Hange?” I ask quietly as we turn to face the Titans again.

   “Always with the formalities,” Hange hums, the touch of a joke playing their tongue. “Just call me Hange.”

   “Hange… have you… ever encountered a Titan with… abnormal eye colors?”

   “Eh?” Hange turns to face me, “No… I don’t think I have. Why? Did you see something?!”

   I swallow and fake a smile, “No, no… I just… I noticed the Titans always have eye colors like ours. Their basic anatomy is like ours, down to the most minute detail- eye color included! I just wondered if maybe…”

   “Maybe what?”

   My eyes glide over to them. Their eyes are glistening with excitement and their whole body seems to tremble with adrenaline. “...maybe Titans have some sort of… biological connection… with humans?”

   Hange lets out a triumphant scream and takes me into a tight hug. Jumping up and down, Hange continues to yell. “I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! An intellectual! A genius! A visionary hiding among the ranks of Cadets!” They sigh happily, panting as they stop jumping. “You’re joining the Scouts, yeah? You’ll be within reach?”

   “Yes, Hange,” I smile awkwardly. “I’ve wanted to join since I was-”

   Another scream. “And a dedicated Cadet! ...the Choosing ceremony! You’ll be choosing…” They trail off, eyes pinched closed as they mumble to themself in an attempt to remember when the ceremony is.

   “I think it’s next week-”

  “Perfect! Next week, you and Eren will be within reach at all times!” Hange continues rambling to themself about all the possibilities now in store. 

   My eyes turn from them to the Titans. If someone as invested and experienced in Titans as Hange hasn’t seen a Titan with red eyes before then…

   Why did I?

[kkurainmyheart]

This was a Old Jeanpiku 104th cadets au twitter thread, so it may not make much sense.

Jean's second day in the army was the first day Jean saw Pieck Finger. The girl had gone unnoticed in the presentation of the recruits, It wasn't until Marco told him "Jean, I want to introduce you to Pieck" that he noticed her. The girl was small, with gray eyes and black hair in a ponytail. She looked friendly and calm, she came from a small town that was completely destroyed in the fall of Maria and she only had one living relative, her lovely grandmother.

Pieck, Marco and Jean shared joining the army to be MP and have a better life, so it wasn't hard for them to be friends. Jean fell in love with Mikasa and Marco, Marco began to feel things for his little friend and She seemed to reciprocate his feelings.

Marco and Pieck were two birds in love, they both sat together to eat, they both put their sleeping bags together, they both smiled shyly, but neither of them confessed their feelings. Jean began to feel jealous, displaced.

Marco was his friend first, Marco supported him and believed that Jean would be a great leader; Jean was also jealous for not being able to have that kind of relationship with Mikasa so Jean and Pieck's relationship became competitive, they became distant. So the omelettes that Jean's mother sent them were only for Marco and Jean. The apples Pieck's grandmother gave them every week were only for Pieck and Marco; and Marco tried to fix this, he really did but Pieck and Jean were stubborn and proud.

Then the day to reveal the positions came and Pieck was 5th, just above Eren, Jean and Marco and although Jean was happy, the fact that Pieck was getting over it once again bothered him because now there would be no way to separate her from Marco and he never did. Rose Wall fell and many soldiers were lost. As they collected the bodies from the streets, Jean watched Pieck paralyzed; as he approached she hugged him then he notice why, they no longer had to fight, both had lost, they both had lost Marco and it was something that both hurt deeply.

Pieck and Jean sat together to watch Marco's body burn, When Jean stood in front of Erwin Smith to join the SC, Pieck stood next to him; when Jean cried because he missed his bestfriend, Pieck also cried with him while holding his hand.

So Annie betrayed them and it was painful; then Pieck's granny died and it was painful; then Ymir, Reiner and Berthold betrayed them and it was painful. And one pain came after another and that only made Jean and Pieck become more friends than ever; and it was Jean who brought her sleeping bag closer to Pieck's; And it was Pieck who stole food with Sasha and joked with Connie; and it was Jean who told Pieck about Mikasa and it was Pieck who happened to be the object of desire of the other soldiers.

And it was Mikasa who always defended Eren and it was Pieck who always defended Jean; it was Jean who was transferred to the Levi squad; And it was Pieck who became a member of the Hange squad. but still they both stayed close. Both were there when Historia ascended the throne and both celebrated for the last time before leaving for the battle of Shiganshina. And that morning before leaving Jean stopped Pieck in the corridor, because everything was the same but at the same time everything was different, and the friendship that Jean felt had been exchanged for deeper feelings. because it was Pieck the girl that Jean drew and it was Pieck the girl with dark hair that Jean had fallen in love, and he had to say it, because in this battle he could die and he didn't want to die like Marco, he didn't want to die without telling Pieck how he felt about her. But thinking about Marco made him feel like a traitor, Marco love Pieck first. So when she looked at him with her pretty eyes and her beautiful smile the words didn't come out of Jean's mouth. He just hugged her and said: "survive". They would both return from shiganshina and Jean would confess properly. Jean came back with a heart as heavy as when he left.

Because Pieck didn't return, Pieck was burned with her entire squad just like Marco's ashes. And Jean had nothing to remember her more than the lock of hair that he kept when she asked him to help cut it. they had many casualties, the only thing that increased was the enemies, enemies like the people who lived on the other side of the sea or like the quadruped titan that arrived just in time to save Reiner and the beast titan. and Jean lived like this, with the pain of losing someone he loved.

Then the yeager brothers took control of things, and Jean became an officer like Pieck and Marco always believed it would happen, and with his first salary he put a tombstone in they honor, a symbolic tombstone in the middle of a field of lavender and daisies for his two dearest friends. Friends who flew together through the blue of the sky, friends who once again left Jean behind and that made him cry with rage. Then Jean buried those feelings how they were burned ; So he cared for Mikasa, he cared for Connie, he cared for Sasha and he cared for Armin.

And they infiltrated Marley, and that was the worst for Jean because she didn't just see Pieck in his dreams. Dreams where he asked her to marry him and leave the military life, where she became a lovable mother and waited for him to return from the battlefield. Jean also started seeing Pieck on the streets of Marley, and saw her surrounded by a squad of men, and he saw her buying vegetables from the hand of that kind old man, and he heard her laugh singing in the corners. and Jean thought he went crazy and he didn't tell anyone, but when he really went crazy it was in the assault on Liberio. Almost killed a little boy! then from the cart titan he swears he saw Pieck emerge, But it was a game of his crazy mind, Pieck was dead, it was Pieck's spirit that had appeared to tell him not to lose his humanity so Jean again didn't say anything. He didn't say anything when Sasha died, he didn't say anything when Eren betrayed them and they were locked up, he didn't say anything when the walls fell, he didn't say anything when Hange asked him to join the alliance, Jean couldn't say anything when Hange told him and Mikasa that Pieck Finger was alive and was the Cart Titan.

Then he shot 4 times, and was swallowed and spat by the same woman who swallowed his heart and spit it back; and he felt disgusted, used, even more than when Annie, Reiner, Berthold or Eren betrayed him. Jean felt disgusted because he still loved Pieck,and he was happy that she was alive, but he knew he shouldn't feel that way, he should hate her for lying to them, so Jean thought of Marco, his poor friend who died loving this woman, believing that she was a good person, and she just played with his heart.

Pieck played with Marco's feelings and as if that wasn't enough, she played on Jean's feelings, and what angered Jean the most was that he knew that if he saw Pieck again he would forgive her for everything but Pieck didn't want to get off her titan. Pieck was like a caterpillar hiding in its chrysalis, and like a butterfly she emerged in the middle of the night when she heard the truth from Reiner's mouth. the atmosphere was tense enough when Yelena spoke. She mentioned Marco and it was then that Jean learned the cruel truth. If Annie and Reiner had killed Marco , Pieck did too. Reiner said

"sorry"

but jean didn't want an apology, then Reiner said

"sorry"

again and Jean just wanted him to shut up.

And Jean wanted to say it but then he notice that Pieck was standing next to him like so many times before, and she was crying just like that day where they both saw Marco's ashes burn.

"sorry for not telling you this sooner, Pieck "

And Jean knew that Reiner's apologies weren't for him. Jean looked at Pieck for the first time in many years before hitting Reiner. All the hate and words accumulated in years coming out of his fists. Then he just sank into the woods, he needed some mental peace. He stopped under the tree that let the dew of the night fall through its leaves. The night still had stars shining in the sky, before he liked to think that the three brightest were Marco, Sasha and Pieck. Now Pieck didn't have a star She couldn't have a star because she had sat next to him and was looking at him seriously.

"I don't want to hear your apologies " he told her.

"I didn't come to apologize, it would be to regret what I did and I don't, I just want you to hear a story"

Then Jean listened, looking ahead and his knees on his chest. He listened to everything she had to say.

He hear how she started her training to save her father; how She inherited her titan and lost Marcel before reaching the walls. Marcel who was her best friend and she liked him so much. How she fought with Reiner and separated from the group to work in the cereal fields. That the kind old woman that Jean and Marco knew as Pieck's grandmother, who sent them apples and bread she had adopted Pieck because she had also lost her family in the fall of Maria. That Pieck really suffered with her death because her mother died when she was born and that granny was the only mother she knew.

Jean wanted to tell her that his mother was still mourning her loss.

"Pikku would have been an excellent wife for you Jeanbo"

but Jean only pursed his lips and fists. Then Pieck told him about how he and Marco had become important to her. That the first one who fell in love was her, Marco was an angel who had left the world very soon, the fear of losing the people she loved took hold of her when she found Marco's body. Pieck didn't say it, but she knew Jean understood. Jean understood her pain and also understood that she had nothing to do with the death of her dear friend. and also Pieck knew that Jean understood why she didn't regret what she had done. Because the reason she and Jean argued in their teens days it was because they were both the same, and both understood the circumstances of the war and the sacrifices they had to make, they needed the balance that Marco caused in their lives, It was paradoxical that this balance was found with his death.

Pieck fell silent once her heart poured out her feelings, she needed a cigarette or two or three. she matched her breathing with his, it was then that she felt the big hand taking hers and then still in silence they both cried, they cried because they understood; they cried because they had been lost for so long and they had found each other again, to get lost again in a war that would only end with the extermination of humanity or their own deaths, whichever came first. And for the first time in years that night Jean brought his sleeping bag closer to Pieck's, and he slept with her little hand in his. and in the morning when they left the woods he had not spoken to her yet, but still he felt closer to her than ever.

They protected each other to get that ship back. And when they were on board that ship heading for the unknown, maybe heading to its end . Jean decided to talk. And he take Pieck's hand and drag her to the deck of the ship and the moon looked as beautiful as her eyes and her black hair was as black as the sky and maybe it was the alcohol he drank with Connie and Reiner or just his feelings on the surface. and maybe he just wanted to tuck Pieck's hair behind her beautiful ears. And maybe he should have said something and work things out but he couldn't, he couldn't even knowing that in a few hours, in a day or 2 he or she could die. but unlike that day before going to Shiganshina he didn't tell her "survive". Jean took Pieck Finger's face and kissed her.

He kissed her lips for the first time. At 19, Jean was giving his first kiss to the woman he loved and had loved, the woman he considered dead until a few days ago, Jean gave his first kiss in the middle of a war that could kill them and this first kiss could be the last then Jean kissed her again, and he kissed her again and she kissed him back. and again and again. and when he realized that kisses weren't enough to remember her until his last breath, he looked into her eyes, searching for an answer,without words they didn't need any more words because with or without words Jean Kirstein knew he loved Pieck Finger and if he died tomorrow he wanted her to be the last thing in his thought, in his mouth, in his heart. but did Pieck Finger love Jean Kirstein? Did she ever even like him?

Then she silently took his hand and brought it to her chest and he could feel her racing heartbeat and he got it. Pieck still held Jean's hand when they went down to the cabins and still held her hand as they searched for an empty one and he held her hand stronger when they were alone in the dark. and he kissed her again and held her hand all night, because his life was too short, his life could end in a few hours and he didn't want to go to the grave without loving her.

And they burned together but this time they didn't turn to ashes. And when the sun came out announcing the morning they were reborn. And Jean swore this time to protect her and live all his dreams with her once this was over. and Pieck promised herself that if this time she truly died, she would do so in the arms of the man in front of her. So they got on that plane and they fought that battle, and they protected each other but it wasn't enough.

it wasn't enough because the enemy seemed invincible and they both made decisions that no one else wanted to make. and when they were on earth after fighting in heaven, in hell unleashed, Jean watched as Pieck clung to that man who looked like her and he remembered his own mother and wondered what she was doing; but the battle was not over yet and when Jean realized that his destiny was extinguished there he didn't cry. It was strange, since he joined the SC he saw people cry and scream when dying then in that innocence of youth he thought he would do the same when his time would come; Marco had cried and screamed? but here he was, standing firm, watching the woman he loved being dragged into battle, Jean saw and heard Pieck cry but all he did was look into her eyes because this was not a goodbye,he would meet Marco first and then Pieck and then Pieck would join them and maybe Jean would have to explain many things to his freckled friend, things like: he fell in love with the woman that Marco loved too.

but he didn't care, Marco could hit him and he would still be in love and happy, the three of them would be together again, and he would also meet Sasha, and Connie who expected the same fate as him. The electricity ran through his body but in his mind his last thought was Pieck and when he woke up after that dream his concern was Pieck and maybe a little the world. Because Eren, without consulting them, had left them a mission and while they watched how Armin blamed himself by becoming a slave to politics and foreign relations his left arm hugged Connie, and his eyes were on Armin and his thoughts were on Mikasa, while his right hand and his heart were with Pieck.

Because they were his family and after Eren, Jean didn't want to lose anyone else, not even Captain Levi or Falco and Gabi and although it was difficult for him to admit it, he didn't want to lose that idiot Reiner or the unfriendly Annie, because they had all been pawns in a war that they didn't start, but they had the good fortune to finish or so they hoped and surviving locked in the walls was difficult, and surviving with what was left of humanity was also difficult, so their time as ambassadors was even more difficult but they endured it. They put up with it because they were together the same thing had happened and they understood each other; and during those three years Jean met Pieck's father, and after those three years Pieck was reunited with Jean's mother. Jean and Pieck brought flowers to Marco's grave while Pieck and Jean held hands, the sun illuminated them and the daisies were blooming more beautiful than ever and they knew that he was happy for them. And their hands never parted, They spoke and forgave each other, although there was nothing to forgive.

And the sun shone again the day Pieck and Jean were married. And the daisies bloomed beautifully the day they welcomed their first child. A beautiful boy with amber eyes and black hair, a child whose name was not discussed because they knew that Marco had returned to them and this time forever.

[alitaimagines]

characters: reiner braun, levi ackerman, porco galliard, bertholdt hoover, eren jaeger - ATTACK ON TITAN

song recommendation: breathin’ - ariana grande 

note: I wanted to do the ‘I’m breaking up with you’ prank scenario with the AoT characters. inspiration behind this came from @emsvegetables​. for obvious reasons, this is an AU. but I wanna do another thing like this for another anime so please lemme know which you would like to see!! 

REINER BRAUN: 

you decided to tell him a random day where the both were at his house, relaxing and more than likely watching TV. you bent over him and softly grabbed his hand as he turned to you. 

“Reiner, I’ve been thinking this for a while but I think we need to break up.”

this poor child. don’t do this to him. he’ll get so upset so quickly. Reiner immediately sat up straight and looked at you with his eyes already pricking tears. 

Reiner ran through a million scenarios as to what made you want to break up with him. 

did you like someone else? did you gain feelings for Porco of all people? Reiner knew that his depression got the best of him on some days but was it that?

you immediately started to panic at his reaction as he couldn’t even dare to even look at you. 

“was it something I did? was I not enough?” he simply asked. 

your eyes widened as his response. 

“because whatever it was, I am so sorry and I understand that I could be a better boyfriend but I respect your decision. I’ll be supporting you and whoever you decide to date next, no matter how much it hurts.” 

your mouth dropped before you tackled him into a hug. 

“Reiner, baby, I’m joking. I didn’t mean it.” 

you kissed his cheek as you felt him embrace you even tighter. the two of you were quiet for a few minutes before he pulled away and cradled your head with his hands. 

“don’t ever joke like that again. you have no much you actually mean to me. I felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces.” 

you nodded as you placed a soft kiss on his lips before deciding that he needed a few cuddles. 

you ended up passing out asleep but the words still stuck with him. he shifted the both of you as he wanted to cuddle you correctly and had you laid on top of him. 

he placed a kiss on the top of your head before hugging you again. thank god it was only a prank or else he probably would have been bawling his eyes out to Bertholdt. 

LEVI ACKERMAN: 

you hadn’t been with Levi in a long time. his job had him constantly at work so on his day off, all he wanted to do was spend it with you and actually relax. 

the two of you were probably reading and drinking some tea when you finally decided to make the joke. 

“Levi?” you asked, “this has been running through my head all day and I’ve finally gained the courage to tell you. I want to break up.” 

oh, he might not show it like Reiner does but this man is dis FUCKING straught. he remained staring at you but you can see it in his eyes that his heart fucking BROKE. 

the air was thick as Levi knew exactly why you probably wanted to break up. he was always at work, never pulled enough time in his day to be with you, and you probably got tired of it and found someone else. 

“I understand and I’m glad you decided not to pull the relationship any further. whoever is making you happy now, I’m glad someone is doing it again. I know I am wasn’t as present as I should have been in this relationship however like I’ve said, I appreciate that you were so straight forward about it.” 

you gave him another look as you could tell Levi was holding back tears. you knew it took a lot in him to even open up to the idea of you dating him and now you were leaving him for someone else. 

“Levi, sweetheart, I’m joking. I don’t actually want to break up with you. It was a prank.” 

Levi stayed silent before giving a silent chuckle. you watched as a single stray tear fell down his face and that was enough for you. you immediately went to him and wiped it off before moving his hair out of his face. 

“I promise, from now on, I’ll try to be more present in the relationship. I know my job has me pulled in seventeen different directions at the same time but hearing you say that put it into perspective that I never want to lose you.” 

you nodded as you grabbed his hand and gave the back of it a kiss. you had your legs wrapped around his waist as your face was snuggled into his neck. you placed a small kiss on his neck making him chuckle. 

“I love you, don’t ever forget that.”

you nodded but didn’t respond. you weren’t expecting suck a strong reaction from the man whose only other emotion aside from being stoic was anger. 

PORCO GALLIARD: 

you and porco had just finished having sex so it wasn’t unusual for the two of you to poke fun at each other after it. Porco was sipping on a warm beer as you were just laying in bed. 

Porco had felt your eyes on him and gave you look indicating why were you staring at him that way. 

“Porco, what I’m about to tell you is not going to be good but please promise me that you won’t be upset. I want to break up.” 

his eyes immediately flashed to anger. I imagine that Porco might be one of the two who’ll get angry before getting sad or upset. he slammed the beer he was drinking onto the bedside table before looking at you. 

“are you serious? why? who the hell put you up to this? was it bitch ass Reiner? did he convince you that I’m some kind of demon? I have to kick his ass.” 

you wondered why Porco’s first reaction to that was Reiner of all people. you weren’t even that close to the blond but you knew the two of them had some bad history together, however, you never talked to him unless you absolutely had too. 

“well? who am I paying a visit too? huh? was it because I wasn’t enough? was it my anger issues? I can promise to work on them. don’t leave me!” 

you wouldn’t have guessed that Porco of all people would have a reaction this strong but he did. his pale face went red as he pulled his boxers on before trying to find his shoes. you immediately grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. 

“Porco, baby, I’m kidding. I was joking! I don’t want to break up. relax!” 

his gave you another look before trying to see if you were serious or if you were trying to make this break up into an even bigger joke. once he realized that you weren’t actually being serious, he still had anger bubbled up inside of him. 

“why would you joke that way? do you realize how much you mean to me, dumbass? I thought you actually wanted to break up.” 

you pulled him on top of you before shaking your head. 

“I thought it would be funny but I don’t actually want too. I love you, you fucking idiot! but my question is, why would you even think that Reiner was the reason behind me wanting to break up with you?” 

he didn’t respond as he pinned you against the bed. 

“don’t even mention that bastards name. I thought he plotted it against me as some form of revenge.” 

you laughed as you pulled him into a kiss and told him to forget about Reiner. he nodded as he delved into another passionate kiss knowing where this could lead too.

BERTHOLDT HOOVER: 

you were at a park with Bertholdt, eating ice cream when you went in for the joke. you had looked up to your VERY tall boyfriend and went in for the kill. 

“Bertl, I want to get this off my chest already, I don’t think we should be together anymore.” 

he probably react like Reiner in some way, shape, or form. probably not as emotional but he would get visibly upset. his ice cream fell on the floor and he bent down to your height. 

within the seconds that he was staring at you without saying anything, thoughts ran through his head. 

why? was it because of how awkward he was? he swore when the two of you got together that he would work on it. he knew he wasn’t the most romantic or the most visible with his vulnerable side but he loved you and wanted to marry you if he got the chance. 

“I guess you taking the Hoover last name won’t happen anymore, will it? but whatever makes you happy, baby. just tell me one last time that you love me?”

you immediately shook your head no as you tried to retract your joke right away. you pulled him into a secluded part of the park right away before shaking your head again. 

“Bertl, I was kidding. I don’t actually want to break up. I swear, it was joke.”

you watched as his face fell to relief before bending down to your height again and embracing you before giving you a kiss on the cheek. 

“thank God. I know I can work on myself in this relationship but I’m serious, I want you to have my last name one day. you’re the only one I can picture myself with.” 

you felt like crying at his confession. you never realized how much Bertl wanted to be with you, let alone wanted to marry you. the two of you had joked about getting married before but hearing that that was the first thing he thought of made your heart shatter yet flutter at the same time.

“and I promise Bertl, I will, one day. or maybe you can even take my last name.” 

he chuckled before giving you a kiss and quickly hauling you over him to give you a piggyback ride back to the car. 

Eren Jaeger: 

the two of you were trapped inside of the house due to the snow storm that was ravaging outside your door. you were cuddled up against Eren as you held him for warmth when you decided to make your joke. 

“Eren? what if I told you I didn’t want to be with you anymore?” 

Eren would be the other one to be angry before being upset or sad. also another person who pictured you to marry him. Eren, unlike Bertl, actually had your first name written with his last name attached on random notebooks, scraps of paper, and even did it on tree bark once. 

“what happened to ( your name ) jaeger, huh? we were supposed to get married! I’m not going to stop you from breaking up with me but we were supposed to make it through until the end!” 

you kind of figured that anger would be his first reaction but you didn’t expect him to be THIS angry. his hands were clenched together and he was ready to hit a wall if he was honest but he had worked on his anger in anger management and knew there was consequences to doing such an action.

“who is it? huh? was it horse face? I know he has eyes on you. did he finally get you to himself? I’m gonna fucking kill him.” 

you immediately grabbed his hand but made sure to touch it as gently as possible. 

“Eren, babe, I kidding! I was just fucking around! I don’t actually want to break up with you.” 

his anger immediately went away as he watched you crawl up against him to give him a kiss. he still had a salty feeling inside of him but nevertheless let you kiss him. 

“you’re mine. remember that (WHY DID THIS TURN SO YANDERE ALL OF A SUDDEN???).”

“always. I’ll let you have me for as long as you want.” 

Eren in hummed in response before resuming the position the two of you were in before you went and told your very unfunny joke. 

ALITA 

[snk-oc-guide]

ehhh hi i hope you do not mind reviewing my snk oc! I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes or something, English is not my first language.. thank you in advance~

Basics Name: Ida Hoffmann Age: 16 Years Birthday: May 8th, 834 Birthplace: Wall Maria; Shiganshina District Species: Human Gender: Female

Affiliation: Scouting Legion Grad. Rank: 18 Kill Count: 3 [ 2 Solo, 1 assisted]

Appearance Ida is a short girl standing at 151cm and weighing 50kg. She has short, brown hair which she always wears in a high ponytail. She has dark green eyes and slightly tanned skin.

rowan: okay, she has short hair but wears it in a high ponytail. i know some short hair can be pulled back (like ymir's) but i don't think a high pony tail would work, unless it's at least medium-length.

a small critique, but it would bother me if i didn't point it out lol

Personality Ida is a compassionate person and cares for other people much, up to that point that she tends to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong so she can keep a close eye on others. She also always tries to cheer up those who might be upset about something and does everything in her possibilities to make them bright up. She treats everyone as nice as she can and always wears a smile on her face. Ida is overconfident with her actions, thinks she can do a certain something but actually can’t in the end. If someone asks Ida for an opinion, she clearly shows how indecisive she is, which is her biggest problem. The reason for that is what happened in Shiganshina, the happenings put her in a state where she’s very unsure about her decisions, which also shows that she isn’t a good leader person. She is also not stubborn and easily gives in if other people want something from her. Her actions are unpredictable, she often surprises others with the things she says or does, and a quite annoying habit of hers is to make (stupid) jokes.

She is superficial and shortsighted, and doesn't pay enough attention to the details of something, which in the end makes her judge situations too quickly. That is why she notices too late if, for example, her comrades need her help. But since she cares deeply about her comrades she'd always attempt to save them. Having made terrible decisions during the battles of Trost, which almost got her comrades killed, this slowly starts to take a toll on her emotional health, that's why she always keeps a smile on her face, to hide how guilty she feels.

Likes: Drawing, she did that ever since she was a little child, her brother brought her to it. Sleeping in. Since her constant training doesn't give her quite many chances to sleep, and she really loves to sleep, she takes every chance she has to sleep, even going to sleep sooner than all the other cadets. She likes to gossip, a lot. She can't stay quiet and always is blabbering about something (even though it might not make much sense).

rowan: i find it peculiar she enjoys "gossiping" since that involves talking about other people and their personal affairs behind their back. since she is a kind and caring person, i can't see her enjoying something like that tbh

Dislikes: Making decisions. She takes too long to decide and most of the times the decisions she makes are not even good. Rain, snow, winter as it's too cold for her, she dislikes cold weather as she's cold easily. Snootiness, especially regarding the military police, she thinks the people in there are "smug assholes".

Abilities/Statistics Ida is not an outstanding soldier, but she always tries to improve herself and get better day by day. The only thing that is indeed mentionable is how well she can handle the 3DMG.

3DMG: 10/10 Hand-on-Hand Combat: 2/10 Battle Skill: 6/10 Initiative: 3/10 Wits: 3/10 Strategy: 2/10 Teamwork: 2/10 Spontaneity: 10/10

She always manages to figure out something rather creative and probably very risky in heat moments. In hand-on-hand combat especially, doing things that confuse the opponent so she gets to have her chance. E.g. she yells out suddenly something to irritate her opponent [ aka "Holy hell, look, there, in the sky!" ] and then tries to take him down.

rowan: if she is good at quick/random thinking like that, i would increase her wits a little bit and make it a 5. same with hand-to-hand combat. with the skill that low, it means she is such a lousy fighter than anybody good beat her, even if she uses sneaky tactics like trying to distract them. she could take a swing, and they wouldn't even budge lol

so i would make her combat skill a 4 at the least.

i feel like since she cares so much for her teammates, her teamwork skill should be higher since she would have no problem working with them. with it being low, it sounds like she isn't a team player at all. i would make it an 8. so her new stats would look something like this:

3DMG: 10/10 Combat: 4/10 Battle Skill: 6/10 Initiative: 3/10 Wits: 5/10 Strategy: 2/10 Teamwork: 8/10 Spontaneity: 10/10

Background She grew up rather normally in the Shiganshina district, having a loving mother caring about her as her father passed away before she was born. Ida was known in Shiganshina as the girl pestering people daily with her good mood and many many questions. Ida had a brother, Martin, who head off to the military, and graduated to later join the Stationary Guard, who was also a victim of Ida's curiousity about literally everything. Ida loved her brother really much, and saw him as a rolemodel and always told everyone how "cool and awesome" he was. Since Ida was a open-minded girl and friendly, she had many friends she'd hang out with outside daily.

Everything was quite fine until the day when wall maria got breached. Ida managed to survive that day, but had to watch how her own brother got eaten right before her eyes just because he wanted to save her from getting eaten. She managed to get to the saving gate eventually and as Ida glanced back at the district sitting in the refugee boat, and caught sight of the armored titan, she realized she would join the military just like her brother, to learn how to defeat titans and not just stand there doing nothing like that day. She wanted to revenge her brother and fulfill his wish he had told her right before he got eaten - survive.

rowan: you mention she had a caring mother, but make no other mention of her. did she die during the fall of wall maria?

Ida joined the 104th Trainees Squad in Trost two years later. She had her problems in the beginning, more than once standing on the edge of failing the training, yet she managed to stay strong and always would find a way to get through it, no matter how hard it was. She grew close to her comrades since she's really compassionate and always tried to help everyone with their problems.

As she was having to decide whether to join the Scouting Legion or the Stationary Guard, she was about to choose the Stationary Guard because she wanted to chose the same path as her brother, but then the wall got breached again. During the battles of Trost, Ida managed to kill one titan and she realized what she really wanted. She wanted to be finally free, and she knew the only possibility to become free was to join the Scouting Legion and try to find a way to erase these titans outside the walls. Surviving, she joined the Survey Corps in the end along the 21 of the 104th Trainees squad who chose to do so.

She had a strong change of heart. Martin's wish of course stuck in her head, and now she feels guilty because she basically broke that promise as the chance to die is rather high in the Survey Corps. In the end the prospect of helping humanity with joining the Survey Corps convinced her. She thinks if she's able to kill titans until her death, she'd really revenge her brother after all.

Relationships Close Friends: Sasha, Marco, Jean Friends: Armin, Reiner, Connie

Annemarie Hoffmann: Ida gets along well with her mother. When Ida was younger and used to have stupid ideas a lot her mother would often get mad at her but that never lasted very long. Since Ida's father died early, it was her mothers job alone to raise Ida and her brother, so they grew really close. Ida is glad to know her mother is save, though her mother isn't really fond of the idea that Ida chose to join the Survey Corps, which would cause an argument whenever they see each other. Despite that, Ida loves her mother deeply.

Martin Hoffmann: Ida used to call him the 'world's best brother'. Martin always cheered Ida up when she was upset and often protected her from her mothers' chastize. He is also the reason Ida never cried again just because he told her once to never do it again after she once had started crying when her mother was mad at her. They had a very loving and caring relationship, even though he used to tease her rather often.

Sasha Braus: It was clear on day one the two of them would get along well. Ida was immediately on a wavelength with her and Sasha was the one who'd always manage to make Ida genuinely laugh. Ida thinks it's cute how much Sasha loves food, and she'd usually spend her time around her. With time they build such a strong friendship that they could understand each other without words - You can just look at them and immediately say the two of them are best friends.

Marco Bott: Whenever Ida talked to Marco, he reminded her of her deceased brother. He was as equally nice, caring, and so refreshing to be around that she liked him immediately and cared for him and he ended up being Ida's best friend, though their friendship wasn't as close as his and Jean's. Ida was very shocked when she found out he was dead, which also brought her close to the edge of crying, but since she wanted to fulfill her brother's wish, to never cry, she didn't. She does get sad whenever someone mentions him.

Jean Kirstein: Since Ida used to hang around with Marco, it wasn't preventable to also stumble upon Jean. His attitude immediately interested her and soon she found herself developing a crush on him. She never told him though, as she didn't wanted to destroy their friendship. Still, both of them have a close friendship which built with time (And patience, the two of them argued so often [about mostly stupid things] they lost count). She envies him greatly for his leader capability and does see him in a leading position some time in the future. She's almost always blushing when she talks to him though. After Marco's death, the two of them got even closer. They build each other up, often teasingly and rely on each other, though he does get angry with her often because her traits remind him of the ones he used to have.

rowan: thank you for submitting your oc to us! ida seems like a pretty simple and well-rounded oc. with all her qualities, comes her flaws so i can see she is pretty realistic and balanced.

there were a few things i thought didn't add up, so you are welcome to take my advice or not!

[summii]

looking back

pairing: everyone/reader. eren/reader

warnings: MANGA SPOILERS. MAJOR MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS. CHAPTER 139 , DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE MANGA/ DONT WANT SPOILERS. Death mention, Sadness- VERY SAD. Alcohol consumption, Nightmares, brief description but not really. Season three spoilers.

A/N: yeah, i totally didn’t cry while writing this 😫 sunny told me it would be sad ofc- but did i listen? no 🥰

_________________

the trip was long. the journey itself to get there was exhausting, the emotional side of it was taking a toll on you. you didn’t know if you would even want to come in the first place, but then again, it was what everyone had wanted. they wanted to see him. well...at least, in a sense...in the only way they could. 

the trek to the hill was silent, as if there were a tension hanging above everyone’s heads. the thoughts of everyone- everything you all had lost in the past years. it had been three long years since you had been on your home land. three years since you had talked to him. three years since he had died. 

staring at the state of the stone slab at the foot of the tree was a feat that brought the memories back to the forefront of your mind as if they were lightening. all of those moments spent in the rain, heat, cold, all of it. even the ones you distinctively remember where you didn’t know if you both would make it back then- if you’d see him again. 

it was an unbreakable silence- nobody wanted to bring anything up first. not even as you all gathered around and sat in front of his grave, gazing down at the words engraved in the stone slab. 

it seemed like a long time since you had gotten there that someone had finally broke the silence, “jean...why does your hair look like that?” armin managed to murmur out after breaking his gaze from the stone. 

it was all the group needed to loosen up, many of them letting out chuckles and soon enough you were smiling along with them. 

“yeah....eren would have made fun of you for it for sure,” you piped up, finally reaching over to open the wine you had brought. jean made a face in response and snatched the bottle from your hands, causing you to huff in annoyance. 

“oh yeah- sure- bag on the guy who tried to look his damn nicest. whatever- that bastard can eat his words if he even tried to comment on my hair,” jean ranted as he uncorked the wine, soon slamming the bottle onto the ground after taking a drink from it straight. 

“you horse- use the cups we brought,” annie cut in suddenly, thrusting one forwards with an annoyed glare. jean merely rolled his eyes and took the cup from her, pouring a hefty amount into his cup almost instantly. “yeah yeah- shut it,” he grunted out. 

everyone took turns pouring the wine into their cups, taking sips. soon enough the silence turned into a bustling conversation, joking around light heartedly; they were light conversations. 

“you know- remember when eren’s odm gear totally went awal and caused him to slam his head into the ground?” reiner cut into the conversation, finally bringing up the man who’s grave the group had come to visit. instead of pausing in a depressive silence like before, everyone let laughs tumble out of their mouths, your own expression lighting up into a bright smile. 

“yeah! i remember mikasa and armin had to patch him up so many times!” you cried out through your laughter, bringing your cup up to your lips. you caught the eye of the female from across the circle, her soft smile only making your own grow.

it was like a fever-dream. the nights you would spend with him, the days spent alongside him fighting, talking, joking...it almost felt like he was still there with everyone, getting overly embarrassed by their taunts and laughter- he would definitely become red in the face and shout out insults or threats to them all. either that, or he’d try to embarrass you all as well. you could picture him sitting next to armin, joining in on the drunk banter and festivities. you could picture him here, with everyone. with you. 

“you know…you’ll get wrinkles at a young age if you keep scowling…”

the boy stared up at you from where you were on his hip bones, having just pinned him down. light sparring- well, at least that’s what it was supposed to be. until your sparring partner got frustrated.

you didn’t know him- vaguely remembered his name, and vaguely of who he surrounded himself with. but besides that, all you really knew of him was his drive to kill titans.

“shut up! you’re so annoying!”

he sprung up suddenly and his head smashed into your own, causing you to reel back with a heavy screech, quick to shove your hand into his face to move him back.

“you crazy ass suicidal bastard!” was your response, and soon the two of you were rolling around in a feat of what seemed to be a power struggle wrestling match. it continued on until you two were pulled away soon after.

but even as the group went on about their memories with him, he wasn’t. all you could do was remember the times he was there with everyone, smiling alongside them. you joined in to distract yourself from thinking too much about it. 

“or the time he tried to compete with sasha in a shooting range and lost,” 

“let’s not forget the time he talked about captain levi’s height and captain levi was standing behind him!”

“or when annie flipped him”

“didn’t he flip you because of that, jean?”

“n-no! shut up! we’re not talking about me!”

“you know- i remember him being so worried about your mom- he thought she was being treated so badly!”

“...eren always did regret never telling his mom he loved her....” mikasa suddenly cut in to the conversation. 

the group went on reminiscing for a long while, laughter being shared between everyone. your stomach almost hurt from thinking back to the many times eren had embarrassed himself. of course, there were light hearted memories, the funny ones seemed to outshine them in the conversation just in the slightest. though, even with the happiness seeming to run through you all, it wasn’t long before the group had become silent once more, staring longingly down at their cups or to the side. 

it was another night of no sleep for you, it seemed. it was annoying- how many times you woke up in a cold sweat due to nightmares that just wouldn’t go away. it was different tonight though. for some reason…you just felt so…powerless. and claustrophobic.

it wasn’t much of a waiting game for you like this, listening to the noises in the tents to the others moving around in their makeshift beds. eventually you had to get up- clear your head. you couldn’t take it anymore. it was like a suffocating whirlwind of thoughts, you hadn’t realized you had been dozing out throughout getting your shoes on. before you knew it, there were leaves crunching underneath your feet from along the path.

the forest was so eerie at night, the sun shining down on everything and the path seemed to dark in some paths. even so, you just wanted some time away from the stuffiness. even if it would end up with you lost- though you doubted that would happen.

it seemed to be a long ten minutes before you decided you’d finally sit near the trunk of one of the trees. you brought your knees up under your chin, soon averting your eyes towards the sky. it was calm, for once.

that is, until you heard the same crunching to your right.

you sat up quickly, your pointed gaze hurriedly looking over, suddenly guarded, “hello? who’s there?!” you called out.

the crunching stopped, and soon your eyes adjusted to the brief light. of course you’d recognize those eyes anywhere. the passion in them was recognizable anywhere.

“…fancy seeing you out here…” your voice was soft, yet it didn’t fail to have that sarcastic tone that was so easy to use with him. eren merely scoffed.

“yeah, yeah. i heard you leave so i came lookin’ for you. i didn’t want you getting lost,” he huffed out, soon moving to take a seat next to you.

“aww, was brave wittle jaeger worried about me?~” you teased.

he was glad for the pale moonlight being the only source of light on you both, for it was easy for you to miss the way his face lit up into a light red. the annoyed grunt that left him left you both in a silence, and soon you were moving your gaze back up towards the sky. it was nice. you always felt most comfortable alongside him.

“…did you have a nightmare?” his voice cut out suddenly, almost enough to make you jump. however, the soft tamber of it relaxed you, and soon you were turning your gaze back; only to be surprised when your eyes met his immediately. he had already been staring at you- yet you couldn’t guess for how long.

“it’s so weird how you can guess things about me in a second with just one look. are you telepathic or something?”

“don’t avoid the question, (y/n).”

a hefty sigh left you, and soon you were turning away from him. you were afraid to see his expression-but you knew he wouldn’t leave it without getting an answer.

“…i just- yeah. i guess you could say that. i just- it’s just…do you think we’ll be alright after this? how much it will…how hard it’ll be to retake shinganshina? it must be so hard on you and mikasa and armin- i can’t even begin to fathom the pain…i wanna help in some way- b-but i just feel..powerless? like…reiner and bertholdt’s - hell, even annie- all three of them betraying us…i don’t know…affected all of us…and yet you’re still so…strong” you huffed, picking at the grass near your feet as you avoided his gaze. you missed the way his gaze softened- one of the many things you were oblivious to.

“honestly,” he started with a grunt, bringing his hand up to your own and tugging it over to his lap. it almost made you fall to the side. “i think you might be overreacting,” he bluntly put out.

it had you blushing feverishly, and you were quick to stare up at him with surprise- but he cut you off before you could curse at him- “you just…worrying about me…reminds me that i’m not alone…which is enough…” he sighed.

your expression faltered, and you let out a helpless grunt before looking down once more. you didn’t say anything afterwards, and neither did he.

connie was the one to break the silence this time. 

“i miss him,” he said, voice suddenly shaky as his eyes glossed over, his gaze moving up to meet that of the groups, yours included. 

you hadn’t even realized tears of your own had swelled over your lash line and fell over on the apples of your cheeks. not until your eyes moved down to his grave, eren jaeger.

“he was...so bright and hopeful. i remember when- when he would go on rants in the mess hall about killing all of the titans...” you almost stuttered over yourself. 

“I’ll kill them all, every last one of them!”

“yeah...he sounded so stupid,” jean chuckled, shaking his head and smiling against his wine cup. 

“he would announce it to everyone...at the stupidest of times...not to mention his stupidly annoying undying passion,” connie huffed and downed the rest of his wine, trying to hide the tears that had filled his eyes. 

“i wonder...what he would say about us crying over him if he saw us,” reiner sighed. 

“he’d probably make fun of jean for crying, and connie for starting it,” you chimed in shakily. 

“hey! you’re not too far off!” 

everyone was crying, yet at the same time...you all were smiling. 

“hey…when this is all over…do you think…we can live happily…together?” he asked one night.

your head moved up almost immediately, staring up at him from across the table, and soon your head was tilting to the side, “are we not happy right now?”

he almost looked conflicted for a moment- but soon enough that dull look was replaced after a small sigh, and soon he smiled at you. “you’re right. i’m completely unhappy with you,” he teased.

and when you turned your back to take the dishes away- his expression faded, dreading of what was to come. and how you would come to hate him.

once they had all gotten it out, armin stood suddenly, holding his cup over eren’s grave and beckoning everyone to follow. they poured their wine over the grave. it bled into the ground and soon disappeared, leaving a wet patch in the soil.

“we miss you...you suicidal maniac...”

[yodawgiherd]

You Were Never Truly Gone ch.5

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Back to plotting.... The pacing is much faster than the previous chapters, but I meant it when I said that this will not be a long work. Just a few more.

Just like the year before the Paradis shore was slowly but surely appearing from behind the horizon. Armin was watching, again, albeit this time he had a cigarette in his hand, not a feather. Taking a drag from it, he felt the smoke filling his lungs. A dreadful habit picked up from Pieck, but the life of a diplomat was a stressful one, and smoking helped.

Especially stressful when the leaders hated each other and the man who flattened eighty percent of the world was secretly alive. Armin couldn’t even count how many times Eren’s name was brought up during the discussions. He was no longer a person, he was an entity - the devil, blamed for each and every bad occasion that happened.

Did the crops die? Damn Eren Yeager.

Are there floods? Damn Eren Yeager.

Then again, if there was one thing that Eren could legitimately be blamed for, it was the Yeagerists. Those were the worst to deal with because their aggressive expansion politics couldn’t be reasoned with. From the letters Armin exchanged with Historia, he knew that the queen was growing more oppressed every single day, the soldiers from Hizuru that used to keep the balance disappearing back into their home country. Kiyomi’s chokehold on Paradis’ stability was an eternal thorn in Armin’s side because he couldn’t see a solution. The old woman would not haggle, didn’t care, all she wanted was Mikasa.

Which was quite a problem, because as far as Armin knew the former soldier had no reason to leave her cabin. She had a home, the love of her life back, and overall was the happiest she ever was, judging from her letters.

Cursing his bad luck and stubbornness of others, Armin threw the burning cigarette into the ocean.

“That was a waste.”, Pieck appeared next to him, her mouth also occupied by one.

“I guess…”

“Tsk.”, she held out her pack, offering the blond a new smoke, “you’re lucky I stashed enough for us both.”

“Why?”

“Jean started smoking too.”

With a chuckle Armin took one, letting Pieck light it up for him, and then they were standing together on the deck and puffed against the wind.

“Are you sure that you want to come with us?”, he asked, knowing that she was far from happy about Eren’s resurrection, “You could stay in the city with Historia.”

“Right, because the sudden change of my routine after four years won’t be suspicious at all.”

“I don’t think people would know that Eren came back from you not visiting Mikasa once…”

“It’s a risk I’m not willing to take, and neither is Reiner.”, she snickered, “Despite how terrified he is of the Ackerman girl.”

“Well, it wasn’t exactly smart, threatening Mikasa’s happiness the second it came back to her.”

“Still, he had a point.”, Pieck let out a long grey strip, “I know that, you know that, everyone knows that.”

“We can find a solution.”

“I have one.”

“Yours is killing Eren, right?”

“Exactly!”, Pieck’s fist hit the railing, “Kill him properly this time, bury the body under that damn tree and be done with it. With him gone, Ackerman is free to go to Hizuru, and Kiyomi will renew her support of Historia. Then she can put Yeagerists on a leash and we can work from there!”

It was hard to not see Pieck as a villain after this speech, yet Armin knew that she is only pragmatic. Her solution was the logical one, easiest to execute, but it required him to do something he would never stain his hands with.

“You would hurt Mikasa like this? After what she’s done for us all?”

The next words that left Pieck’s lips were soft yet determined.

“The happiness of a one woman is nothing compared to the happiness of the world.”

Taking the last drag, Armin threw the butt into the ocean, turning to face Pieck head-on.

“That’s where you are wrong. It’s everything.”

She sighed and Armin left, leaving her alone at the railing. The shores of Paradis grew ever so closer…

One of the many things that Mikasa enjoyed in their intimacy was this – taking a bath together. Admittedly the bathtub was a bit cramped, now that Eren was sitting behind her, but she would never trade the heat of his body for the additional space. He was working on her too, currently washing her hair, fingers gently threading through the long raven strands.

Eren had a thing for her long hair, it would seem, the way it flowed behind her anytime Mikasa undid her ponytail fascinated him. The sun could cast such beautiful shine into the midnight cascade, it made his eyes go wide in wonder. Even now he was moving slow, clearly not rushing anywhere, enjoying the activity almost as much as Mikasa.

“Armin will be here in a few hours.”, she reminded him, but didn’t open her eyes, “We should get a move on.”

“Hmmm.”, a kiss on her bare shoulder, followed by a whisper, “I don’t think I can do that.”

But Mikasa should be the strict one, so she turned in the tub, water splashing and Eren making an “Ouch” sound when her wet hair whipped his face.

“We really have to get out.”, to sweeten the deal, she kissed his nose, “Can fool around after…”

With that promise, Eren was willing to leave the bath and soon after they were sitting together at the outside table, waiting for the familiar faces. Those appeared quick, even faster than expected.

“You guys are here early!”, Mikasa exclaimed, standing up to greet them.

“You know how it is, Reiner had no more letters to sniff.”, Connie joked, poking the large blond in the shoulder.

“Sod off…”, Reiner pushed him away, but Jean replaced Connie immediately.

“Don’t sulk, maybe we can ask the queen to write us a new one, so you won’t be alone at night.”

Reiner growled, eyeing Jean with disgust and Pieck had to step in, pulling her grinning boyfriend away.

After the initial catching up, Armin asked if they could go inside for a talk, one that was meant only for the three of them. Or four, since Annie tagged along, and no one questioned it.

It was just the four of them in the cabin, sitting around the table - time to truly discuss what to do with Eren, what to do with this crazy thing that happened and that blissful dream Mikasa and him were enjoying for a year.

“I thought this through,”, Armin began, “And I think that the best we can do is…”

“Wait a second,” Mikasa interrupted him, “hear me out first.”

Giving her the needed space, the blond nodded at her. And just like that, Mikasa dropped the biggest bomb he could ever imagine.

“Me and Eren, we are going to Hizuru.”

“No! You are crazy!”, Armin almost shouted, “How do you think that would even work?”

“It’s an isolated country, and the Hizurian people don’t know how Eren looks like.”, Mikasa explained, calmly for a change, “Sure, they know of the devil and the rumbling, but they have no idea what his appearance is.”

“Kiyomi does!”

“I can deal with Kiyomi, I have a plan.”

“Then, would you be so kind and share it with us?”, Annie asked, mirroring Mikasa’s calmness.

And she did. She told them what she planned to do, making Armin gape at her while Annie chuckled, nodding along. Eren wasn’t sure how to react. It sounded crazy, but also somewhat logical, and did he have a different choice? The way Armin painted it, there was no place in the world where he could live without being pursued, and unless Mikasa did something Paradis would turn into a warmongering nation, as soon as Kiyomi withdrew her support.

“I… I don’t know what to say.”, Armin confessed when the raven finished, “I have tried a hundred different scenarios but the best I could come up with was you two running away and leaving Paradis to fend for itself.”

“We don’t want that.”, Mikasa said, “We didn’t run away before, we won’t do it now.”

“The rumbling was supposed to be the last war.”, Eren agreed, “If this plan can help us achieve that dream, I will go with what Mikasa proposed.”

“Oh please.”, Annie shook her head, “As if you could say no to her.”

Eren blushed, Armin laughed, and Mikasa smiled and patted her boyfriend affectionally.

When no one took the word, Annie continued, laying their cards on the table.

“Let's go over what they can do then – Option 1, they stay here, Kiyomi goes back to Hizuru, Yeagerists take over the government and start planning their global supremacy. Realizing that a retired Ackerman is living on the island, they come knocking on Mikasa’s door, only to find their war god alive and happy. Global fun ensues. Option 2, They run somewhere far away, settle and live together. Yeagerists still take over because Kiyomi will leave, and this Island becomes a death trap. Option 3, We go with Mikasa’s plan – it’s crazy, but it's that crazy that it might just work.

Silence ruled afterward. When Annie reached out and Armin held her hand, Mikasa noticed the lack of ring on the man’s fingers.

“Wait, you guys didn’t marry yet?”

“There was no time!”, Armin explained, “All we do is work, work, and more work…”

“And when he doesn’t work,”, Annie supplemented, “He’s sketching a map and trying to find a location where Eren could disappear to.”

“Mikasa’s plan foiling your hard work?”, the resurrected devil asked.

“It’s risky. I know that it can work but…, but you have no idea if it is a long-time solution. What if someone notices you? What if….”

“Don’t steer away from the topic.”, Mikasa interjected, “A year of engagement and no marriage?”

Armin and Annie exchanged a look, both shrugging.

“Then, why don’t you do it now?”, the raven continued.

Now the engaged couple was staring at her.

“What?”, they asked in unison.

“Here, in Paradis. Have a small wedding, invite a few people you know….”

“We could use it to show Eren to the few people that we trust.”, Armin began but was quickly smacked by Annie.

“Do NOT make OUR wedding about your friend.”

“Right… sorry.”

“It is the perfect excuse though.”, Mikasa defended Armin’s point, “We can’t travel the world.”

Annie looked at Eren and seeing the silent begging in his face she sighed and surrendered. He died for them; this was the least she could do to pay him back.

“Fine, let’s use my own damn wedding to help you. Who do we invite?”

It was Armin’s turn to look surprised.

“Wait, are we seriously doing this?”

“Why not? We are engaged for a year. What better time there is but present?”

When Annie made a decision, it was quickly followed by action. Soon enough, there was a list of people who could be invited and that Eren wanted to meet, rather short but that was quite understandable. And just like that, the preparations began.

A week. That was all Annie needed. Together with Pieck, who turned out to be an incredibly efficient planning genius, they set up everything while Armin and the others hung around Paradis, unsure what was even going on.

Yet the more Armin walked around the city, the more he could feel the tension in the air. Yeagerists were truly almost everywhere, and with no Hizuru army to control them they were growing bolder too. He could see the posters on the walls, calling for the replacement of the “fake” queen, calls to arms, and notes of Paradis supremacy. Something had to change, otherwise there would be hell to pay.

Even with his own wedding coming, it managed to sour his mood.

Eren and Mikasa were back at the cabin for most of the time. Sure, she did go out a few times with Annie to help her, pick out a dress and whatnot, but most of the time it was Pieck’s show. That woman was a machine. On the morning of the wedding, there was a crate at the cabin’s door with a note, stating that Mikasa should put this on before going to the ceremony. Opening it, the former soldier saw that it was a red dress, high heeled shoes and some jewelry, overall things that Mikasa did not own.

“I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you in a dress this pretty before.”

“I didn’t have a reason to wear one.”, Mikasa agreed, fixing her hair in the mirror.

Heavy steps behind her, and suddenly Eren’s hands were at her waist, possessively circling it.

“Makes me want to tear it right off of you.”, he growled into her ear, kissing it after.

“T-That can wait…”, she stuttered, fighting her own treacherous body as she gently pushed him away, “After the ceremony.”

The touch disappeared, and the chair creaked as Eren sat down, admiring her beauty from a short distance.

“Sucks that I can’t be there to see Armin say his “Yes, I do.”

“I know, but he was right. No matter how hard we would try to mask you, people would notice, especially if you were with me for the evening.”

She walked over to him, a bit unsure in those heeled shoes, bending over to kiss him.

“Behave. Once it's over, we will bring the people here so you can meet them.”

“Don’t worry. I and Yams will survive without you somehow.”, squeezing her hands, Eren blessed her with a radiant smile, “You go have fun.”

With a last wave and a kiss, she was indeed gone, leaving Eren alone for what felt like the first time since he came back. Putting his hands in the pockets, he walked over to where Yams was, studying it. The animal looked him straight in the eye, not flinching even when he leaned closer.

“You know, sometimes I think that you are more than just a goat.”

Yams didn’t say anything, surprisingly, chewing the hay.

The wedding was short but sweet, the view of the ocean being everything Armin dreamed of. Annie was given away by her sobbing father, and Mikasa was Armin’s best “man”, stunning in the red dress Pieck got her. Yet it didn’t matter how she looked, because the blond’s eyes were solely for the woman in white. It felt like a dream when they recited their vows, and as Armin slid the ring on Annie’s finger, he considered himself the happiest man alive.

Any worry about world peace, any thought about Eren, anything and everything just flew right out of his head, because it didn’t matter. The world narrowed down to Annie’s smile, and Armin was more than okay with that.

A kiss and they were bound together forever, the cheers loud enough to scare all the birds in the vicinity. The queen handed Ymir over to her husband, clapping and jumping up and down in glee, ignoring the looks the bodyguards shot her way.

Jean also had tears in his eyes, unsure of what came over him. Connie teased him for it but Pieck simply smiled, wrapping him in a hug. It felt unreal to watch his friend and comrade marry the woman they used to fight, their sworn enemy. Yet here they were, any sort of hatred between them forgotten in favor of their love, and he thought that it was beautiful. And looking down at Pieck, Jean knew how Armin felt.

With the ceremony over, the celebration began, taking place on a few tables that were brought out. The evening progressing, Levi was the first who Mikasa approached, saying that she needs to discuss something with the old soldier. She pushed the wheelchair herself because both Gabi and Falco were enjoying the reception, heading towards her cabin. It wasn’t that far but not too close either, yet Levi was silent the whole journey, most likely thinking that whatever she wanted to talk about could wait. Yams watched them approach with his usual interested look as if she knew what was going on.

When the cabin door opened and Eren came out, Levi’s expression froze.

“Hello sir.”, the dead man said, coming to stand in front of him.

That was when Levi took a deep breath. And spoke.

“Eren, my kicking days are sadly over, but I’m now going to stand up and punch you in the face.”, his eyes were cold as he spoke, “Do you have a problem with that?”

Eren back straightened.

“No sir.”

“Good.”

With a scramble of wood against the grass, Levi pushed himself upright with the cane, taking a few steps towards him. He was old and crippled, Eren reasoned, there was no way that….

The punch threw him on the ground, the taste of blood filling his mouth.

“This is far from what you deserve, but it will do for now.”, Levi stated, shuffling back towards the wheelchair.

Mikasa was watching but didn’t intervene, knowing that despite how much she loved Eren, he deserved this. On his own, the former devil pushed himself back to his feet, studying Levi’s unchanging expression.

“I take it that you are not that happy to see me?”

“Happy? No.”, his hands clenched the wheelchair, “You’ve done terrible things Eren, and I hold no love for you. Unlike Mikasa, I think that you should have stayed dead, and if it wasn’t for how much she adores you I would put you in the ground. I don’t know how you came back and frankly, I don’t care, but you don’t deserve it. You have taken too much from the world…”

Erwin, Hange

“Too much from me.”

His eyes shifted to Mikasa.

“You believe that what you two have is special, but how many young lovers were trampled beneath the rumbling? How many lives were lost?”, icy gaze slid back to Eren, “I can’t forgive you. Maybe in time, but not now. Definitely not now.”

With that, he wheeled himself away, heading back towards the celebration, where Gabi and Falco were. The girl was describing something loudly, waving her hands while the boy looked on, a faint glint of adoration in his eyes. But after today, Levi was sick of love.

“Hey brats!”, he called them, “Get me out of here.”

They moved immediately, taking hold of his chair and pushing him back towards the city.

“What did Mikasa want captain?”, Gabi asked, energetic as ever, “Was it important?”

“No. She just… We….”, Levi clenched his teeth against the feeling, “She opened some old wounds, that’s all.”

Gods damn you Eren. If you ever make her unhappy, I will kill you myself.

Queen Reiss was a bit more difficult to separate from her guards, but when Mikasa asked if they could talk, just the two of them, she turned towards the black-suited men with a raised eyebrow.

“I believe that I will be quite safe with a legendary soldier like Mikasa, an Ackerman too. Take a small break.”

With that, she hoisted her daughter up and smiled.

“Lead the way.”

The guards obeyed, knowing better than to try and argue. So, Mikasa led the queen to her cabin, the door creaking open when Eren stepped out.

“The worst girl in the world,”, he greeted the blonde with a crooked smile, “It’s good to see you.”

Historia exploded into tears the second she saw him. She handed little Ymir to Mikasa and hugged him, sobbing into Eren’s chest in a very unqueenlike manner.

But when they tried showing the child to Eren, she hid behind Mikasa and refused to move, even crying when he reached out to her.

“I guess I’m not that good with children.”, he said with a smile, watching Ymir as she clung to the raven’s legs.

“That’s so strange,”, Historia wondered, “She usually loves meeting new people.”

But Ymir wouldn’t let Eren touch her, and because nobody wanted a crying child, Mikasa was the one to hold her while he and the queen sat down to do some much-needed catching up. Quiet gasps left her lips when Eren described his “reincarnation”, the long and perilous journey he had to endure to be reunited with his lover. When his story was done, there were tears in her eyes, and a whisper followed.

“D-do you think that… that Ymir could, you know.. ?”

It was obvious which Ymir she meant, but Eren could offer her no comfort.

“I’m sorry, but they are all gone. The paths collapsed, all the souls that were there are free now, I was the only one that stayed.”

With a slight tremble of her lips, the queen nodded, expecting such an answer. Taking a few deep breaths to stabilize herself, Historia got to the matters at hand.

“Eren, can you help me with the Yeagerists?”

“Not me, but Mikasa has a plan.”

Gently rocking the child in her arms, the Ackerman recited her plan to Historia. When she was done, the queen had a look of concentration on her face, tapping the table.

“It’s insane, but… good insane. I feel like it has a chance.”

Mikasa and Eren exchanged a look.

“That’s all we can hope for.”

After Historia left, taking Ymir with her, the pair was alone again. The celebration moved to the city but Mikasa didn’t feel like attending it, much more content here, lying on the grass with her lover. Together, they stared at the starry sky, basking in the moonlight.

“Do you think that we can ever get married?”, Mikasa wondered, still jittery from witnessing Armin’s and Annie’s wedding.

“I’m not sure. I feel like that if I ever walk into a church, the priest will try to drown me in the holy water.”

Mikasa giggled, hiding the smile in Eren’s shoulder.

“Maybe we don’t need a priest.”, he continued, ripping out a few blades of grass.

Deftly, he made a ring out of them, sliding it on Mikasa’s finger.

“Mikasa Ackerman, will you take me as your lawful husband?”

The answer bubbled out of her throat before she could make a coherent thought.

“Y-Yes.”

Following his example, Mikasa also made a ring, much better than Eren’s, putting it on his hand.

“Eren Yeager, will you take me as your lawful wife?”

“Yes, hundred, thousand times yes.”

Tangled on the ground, they stared into each other’s eyes, ignoring the rest of the world.

“I guess we can kiss now.”, Eren whispered.

Mikasa was the one who closed the distance, pushing her lips on Eren’s. It didn’t matter how many times they kissed, it made them both feel lightheaded, such joy could be found in a simple gesture. And when they broke apart, breathing heavily, Eren could say from the way Mikasa looked at him that this was only the beginning.

“Look at me.”, she said, admiring the grass ring, “Here I am, a married woman, when I thought that I will end up as a crazy bird lady.”

“Bird lady?”

“There was one that kept circling anytime when I visited your grave - it tried taking my scarf once too. You know, I thought that it might be you, living now as a bird or whatnot.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”, Eren pressed a kiss to her knuckles, “But I was never a bird, and I don’t plan on being one. As a human there are things we can do that would be… questionable if done with a bird.”

Now he was speaking Mikasa’s language.

“Do we get a wedding night?”, she drawled, her bedroom eyes and teeth biting the bottom lip making her the hottest being Eren ever saw in his existence.

The smile he gave her back was downright sexy.

“You bet.”

Eren was still sleeping when Mikasa woke up, slipping out of his hands. She stretched, feeling the burn in her muscles from last night’s activities, and looking down she could see faint bruises blooming on her porcelain skin. The dress was gone and forgotten, lost in the heat of passion, so Mikasa picked up Eren’s shirt from the floor, slipping it over her naked form.

Combing her hair, she put it over one shoulder, staring at the rising sun. The light somehow steeled her resolve and soon she was sitting down, pulling out a piece of paper. This had to work, there was no other way. For her and Eren to be together, the world had to be stable. With the pen in her hand, Mikasa thought for a moment before touching the white and beginning to write.

“Dear Kiyomi….”

[helenaklein]

Helena Klein Had Nothing To Prove

"As Aang chose to not kill Ozai so his soul would remain pure, Helena chose to not kill the Witch Queen because she didn’t want to kill anyone anymore"

maybe such an argument would make sense had helena sworn a vow of nonlethal violence as aang had, so that the final decision spoke moreso to the fulfullment of and lasting commitment to an ongoing arc despite the wishes of others, rather than a last minute change that rings hollow when up until the very final confrontation, helena had been killing generals soldiers and cultists. aang's decision was built. it was a decision he was always going to make because it aligned with his actions throughout the series. it proved that not even hatred of his greatest enemy could override his convictions.

but helena? helena, despite her distaste for war and her knowledge that she is so much more than a weapon, never once refrained from killing the people that needed to die, and the people that hurt her. lennox? jinhai? magnus? she didn't even feel completely sorry for killing everyone in her village, angels compared to the witch queen, because of how awful they were to her.

they could have led to this in a satisfactory way, absolutely. but they didn't. had she made it a point to dispose of the generals without killing them, as was done on at least one occasion in both altea and iseul's route, there would have been some precedent, some indication of a desire to avoid killing even in the most severe circumstances. but that is not what happened. that is not where this arc was ever leading.

"and she knew that death was not a punishment to Witch Queen. Honestly, what’s the point of killing her if she’s ready for death, welcoming it ?"

as others have said, it's not about a fitting punishment. the idea of ""punishment"" at all has never been brought to the table in this route. no one cared up until that final moment about punishing the witch queen. they wanted to secure a lasting peace for the realm. they wanted people to be safe from her. punishment is completely outside the realm of what they were concerned with. again, had it been brought up beforehand, perhaps i could have accepted it as an explanation. it wasn't.

"she wasn’t as strongly connected to the LI and her link to MC was barely developped in the other routes. In the end, she was just the physical manifestation of evil that the heroes needed to defeat in order to achieve peace."

blatantly and egregiously incorrect on a basic factual level. "wasn't as strongly connected to the li" literally are you joking? ALAIN? SAERYS? they were connected in different ways, absolutely, and helena had a much more personal nightmare in the witch queen than some others. but to suggest that made her an entirely different monster in helena's route? when alain endured much of the same as what helena did, and saerys was the sole surviving member of a genocide orchestrated by the witch queen? laughable. not to mention the relationship between mc and the witch queen was much more developed in almost all of the other routes than it was in helena's. we knew exactly what mc was, what she was created for, who she was in a past life, the purpose her existence served on a cosmic, in the other routes in relation to the witch queen. in helena's? not so much.

you cannot look me in the eye and tell me honestly that it made more narrative sense for reiner "mercy" wolfson and altea "managed to avoid killing the generals" bellerose to kill the witch queen than it would have for helena to completely and utterly destroy the monster whose mere distant existence clouded her every waking moment the entire series.

"Hell, Helena’s natural magic is about draining things and people around her, THAT’S the reason she believed she was a monster for so long !"

helena's so far past internal resentment of her natural magic that she relied on it for the entirety of the siege on the witch queen's castle, used it to evade her trap's, and literally used that very same magic the take the witch queen's. she knows it's not monstrous. she knows the witch queen, her mother, her village, the soldiers were all wrong. it's just power. suggesting that use of it to kill a literal actual monster would have erased that and turned her into a monster as well is foolish and regressive.

"So what do you think Helena would have felt if she killed the Witch Queen ? Happiness ? Relief ?"

partially, yes. her reaction would have been the mixture of confusing but valid emotions that she already had. next question.

"At proving her abuser right one last time ?! Seriously ?!"

helena klein. had absolutely nothing. to prove. to the witch queen.

she had NOTHING. to prove. she was ALREADY better than her. she was ALREADY more than a weapon. she knows it. she believes it, and has for seasons now. taking the witch queen's life was never EVER going to make her into the witch queen, it was never going to prove her right.

i literally cant believe in 2019 following the wide release one the most empowering scenes of all time involving the point blank statement "I have nothing to prove to you" after a villain's attempt to manipulate the hero into reining her power in and giving him a fighting chance you would come out with such bullshit lmao fuck you.

"And you wanted Helena to do what ? Give the Witch Queen one last opportunity to rub it in Helena’s face that, up until the end, she did nothing but kill ? That she doesn’t know how to do anything else ?"

that's literally what the witch queen already did. she mocks helena as she stabs herself with helena's blades. "you will not walk away from me with your hands unstained, helena klein" is what she says before killing herself. having helena actually kill her would have granted her no more of an opportunity to "rub it in her face" than what the witch queen already took.

again, and i cannot stress this enough. HELENA. KLEIN. HAD. NOTHING. TO. PROVE.

she KNOWS she can do more. everyone that cares about her already knows that. and absolutely nothing about securing safety for her world with absolute certainty could have stained or taken away from that, despite this asinine moralizing.

"Of course Helena wouldn’t kill Witch Queen, because if she did, it would break her. She would have regretted it for the rest of her life."

NO SHE WOULD NOT HAVE. ARE YOU KIDDING. helena didn't even express complete remorse for destroying her village. she's expressed NO regret killing jinhai, magnus, and lennox because of their hand in hurting mc and looking the other way or laughing as the witch queen beat her like an animal.

"She would have never had a chance to prove, to her and to others, that she can win without killing."

say it with me:

HELENA KLEIN HAD NOTHING TO PROVE

"It was her goal all along, to make Helena feel awful with herself for the rest of her life."

great! and she died believing she succeeded! so what was the point.

"Helena gets to live knowing that she is more than a killer, that she doesn’t need to kill to win a fight, that she is better than what the Witch Queen made her out to be. And that is priceless"

I don't know how many times i need to reiterate this but HELENA. ALREADY. KNOWS. an eleventh hour extension of a bloodless end was never going to change that. the confidence she has in herself and the self worth she's established over the course of her route was never going to be taken away from her. it can't be. your take is worth pocket lint and an old gum wrapper, go home.

"she didn’t have the option of making Helena feel awful about it or herself"

she literally did though like she spent her dying breath laughing and smiling thinking she'd fuck helena over one last time. for someone so confident in the strength of the writing in this decision it sure seems you don't know what actually happened.

"throwing her own dignity to the wind... not still cloaked in her dignity"

funny you should mention dignity because helena quite literally tries to offer her that. she tries to tell her it's still intact. let me say that again: they made helena try to extend that shred of kindness to the woman who beat and raped her for years.

"she ran away"

yes exactly you're almost getting it. SHE GOT TO RUN AWAY. after everything she's done. SHE. CHOSE. SHE DIED BY HER OWN HAND WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE THINKING SHE'D GOTTEN THE LAST WORD.

fuck that! it SMELLS.

"the world is going to forget her anyway"

the absolute last thing you want after overthrowing a tyrant is for the world to forget. that's how history is repeated. that's how similar, future cruelty goes unchecked and unrecognized. for helena to say she wants the world to forget the witch queen? it's so, wildly, heartbreakingly disappointing and out of character, given how much she's stressed over and over again her own personal need to remember in order to properly honor what happened before.

helena wanted freedom from the witch queen, and safety for the world she once helped tear apart. willingly forsaking the certainty of those goals that would come with the witch queen's death with the intent to deal out a more worthy punishment for is unacceptable and not helena. at all.

anyway, the witch queen's death sucked, thanks for playing!

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Castle on the Hill (Jean x reader)

A/N: Hi. I really like this song so i thought i should write something. This time, the story is in second person, and the reader is gender neutral. Basically, this is a friends to lovers story with a twist ending.

Word count: ~2,500

When I was six years old, I broke my leg. I was running from my brother and his friends.

The sidewalk was very unforgiving, as was your brother. He was playing with his big kid friends, since they all were twelve and you were only in kindergarten. Your big brother loved you a lot, more than your mother and father combined; but that didn't mean he was free from teasing you.

His friends were laughing at you again. Apparently, your hair was messy and your clothes were stained with dirt, making you look like a 'rag doll'. He wasn't laughing too much, but still, he was having fun with his buddies. Your little heart was breaking, as it did every time he teased you or made you feel like a little kid. You were six whole years old. That meant you were a big kid.

Quickly, you stood up, abandoning the mudpie building on the ground. Tears were streaming down your cheeks, but your hair covered it so they couldn't get a glimpse. How could he laugh at you like this? That's all you were thinking about in the moment.

As fast as your little legs could take you, you turned around and took off down the rocky path, heading anywhere but their direction. Your brother screamed behind you to come back, but you just kept running on short little legs. you was a good runner, and never ever fell. Yet, for some reason, you tripped on your own feet in the middle of the path.

When you went crashing down, a painful snap came from your leg, causing you to scream out. It hurt so much, worse than anything you'd ever felt before.

More tears streamed from your eyes as you continued to cry. You were such a baby.

As you struggled to stand and eventually gave up in a heap of heavy tears and painful aching, a boy walked up to your shaking form, his eyes wide with fear. He had a full head of shaggy dirty blond hair and his eyes were golden, like honey. He was about your age, but way taller. Everyone was taller than you...

"Hey! What are you doing here? My momma was scared since she heard you scream!" the boy exclaimed, kneeling beside the your scared and shaking form. You whimpered and pointed to the leg which was bent an awkward way. He cringed back, biting his lip to hold back his screams. You were shaking so bad, it would only make you feel worse.

He looked over his shoulder and then back down at you, holding out his hands. "My house is right there. Come on so my momma can call a doctor to help you," he urged, going to grab onto your hand. Hesitantly, you reached out and took his hands. Using all of his strength, he pulled you from the ground, only for you to scream more and shiver under his grasp. It hurt so badly to just move, and the pressure on your leg wasn't helping.

The boy took you under the arm and carried your hopping form to the front door of his house. "Mommy, let me in! We need help!" he shouted, waiting for a reply.

A tall woman with bright eyes and thick blond hair answered the door. Her eyes widened significantly upon seeing the sight before her. Two young children, one of her own in fact, injured and dirty. "Oh, Jean, what happened?! Get in here!" she exclaimed, taking you from her son and lifting you up over the threshold so she didn't hurt your leg more.

"Please, sit with them on the couch while I go send for a doctor."

And that's how you met Jean Kirstein. Your first and best friend.

Had my first kiss on a Friday night. I don't reckon I did it right.

You kissed Reiner in a game of truth or dare. It was late one Friday night, and everyone piled into the middle of the room, giggling and laughing their asses off, while trying to be quiet.

You remember leaning against Jean, whom everyone considered to be your surrogate brother by now. Outwardly, and even in your mind, you never really minded people calling the two of you siblings. It wasn't weird since you'd been friends ever since you were six. Yet, you found yourself cringing every time someone so lightly said it.

Were you really that close? Did everyone think of you as siblings? Did Jean think of you as a sibling? Your stomach turned awkwardly at the thought. You liked being close, but the thought of it being a family thing made you feel sick. At the time, you didn't know why either.

Suddenly, your name was called by Ymir, who was snickering like a wicked witch. That girl always gave you the major creeps, not to mention she was a total bully. Normally, she was only ever nice to her girlfriend Christa.

"How about I choose...(Y/N)," the dark-haired girl chuckled. You straightened a bit, eyes going completely wide with fear. "So, truth or dare?" No one ever picked you for these things. You always just hung out while everyone one else participated. Of course Ymir would be the one to force you to play.

You thought for a moment, but did you really have a choice? You would much rather do something embarrassing than give Ymir the power to learn any of your deepest secrets. "Dare."

"Wow, and I thought you were a coward," she laughed evilly.

Christa sighed, sending you a sympathetic look before reprimanding the tall girl beside her. "Ymir, that's rude-"

Sadly, her words were interrupted with the most terrifying request of the night. Her eyes were narrowed mischievously, so you knew that the second she spoke up, something awful could spout from her lips. "I dare you to make out with Reiner." Your heartbeat increased ten fold, and you clutched at Jean's coat anxiously.

She couldn't actually make you kiss Reiner? You really didn't want to. You were almost fifteen and hadn't had your first kiss yet. It was embarrassing and you never told anyone else but Jean. Now, you were going to be forced to waste it on something as stupid as a dare.

Part of you wanted to cry, and the other part wanted to run away. Either of those would have been better than what you actually did.

Reiner leaned over from two spots down, crawling over his best friend Bertholdt who sat between you. You cringed and looked away, trying to fight the urge to back out. "Come on. It's only a dare. I don't bite," he joked, his strong jaw fixed by the smirk on his face.

"B-but, guys...come on, isn't this a little impersonal?" You tried to ask, but Ymir only growled and pushed on your thigh with her boot.

"Don't be a prude, L/N!"

Jean just sat there the entire time, without saying a single thing or moving to help you. You were offended and hurt. Quickly, without taking a moment to think, you leaned forward and kissed Reiner as swiftly as possible. You pulled away and wiped your mouth of Reiner germs, grimacing intensely. That wasn't how you wanted your first kiss to be.

It felt so wrong. Completely and utterly disgusting.

"No way! I said to make out! You barely pecked him!" she protested. You sighed and leaned away, face beet red from utter embarrassment. Everyone was huddled in this circle, even Armin and Marco, and you didn't want to embarrass yourself any further.

You leaned forward again, letting Reiner take ahold of the back of your head. Her curled his fingers in your (h/c) hair, which was also a really weird feeling. Before you had a chance to prepare yourself, his lips pressed sloppily to yours. You didn't move much, and simply let him kiss you.

It felt all wrong and the person you were staring at was all wrong and the hand curled into your hair seemed too unnatural. Why? Why couldn't you just be a kid and enjoy kissing someone as handsome as Reiner? (lmao, reiner is definitely not that great of a catch)

I was younger then. Take me back to when I found my heart and broke it here, made friends and lost them through the years.

"Jean, I don't care what you say, I'm coming in!" You shouted, leaning against the door with a hand tightly wrapped around the knob. He'd been in the boys dorm room for hours. He didn't come down for breakfast, or lunch, or even dinner. In fact, he hadn't done his chores either but you covered for him.

You opened the door and walked in, shutting the heavy door behind you. Jean laid there on the bed, covers drawn up around his shoulders and his head tucked down into his pillow. Your heart broke for him, seeing him in such a crumbling state. He always tried to remain cocky in front of Eren and the others, but he was really upset.

Everyone is upset, how can they not be? The military is rough, and when someone dies every week from being in the survey corps, everything gets worse.

You didn't say anything else. Right now, all you could do was walk over to his bed side. You sat down on the edge of the bed, taking off your boots and throwing your jacket onto the floor. Without waiting for him to say anything, you collapsed on the bed beside him, curling up with your head resting on his pillow.

"I'll always be here for you, Jean. Don't ever suffer through this alone," You told him softly, pressing your nose into his hair. "Did something happen?"

"I was thinking about Marco, and Annie and Bertholdt and Reiner-" he confessed to quietly, his voice clean of any tears he might have cried before you walked in.

Sighing, you wrapped an arm tightly around his waist and hugged him. "I know. Marco was like a brother. I miss him a lot sometimes," your voice was merely a whisper. Truthfully, your heart ached for the freckle-faced boy who died too young by the worst means possible.

"And sometimes, I think about Reiner and Annie and Bert, and I still care about them. I still think it's cute how Bert always blushes and stutters, I still admire Annie for being so strong, and hell, Reiner was my first kiss. Those guys meant a lot to me, and even now that I know what happened, I still hate to believe it."

You just wanted to make him feel better. You loved Jean, you wanted to see him smile and fight proudly.

He shifted, lying on his back while you kept your arms wrapped around his waist. You stared at his profile while he mindlessly looked to the ceiling, his face void of emotion. His voice startled you when he asked, "Do you ever think about what life would be like if we grew up normal? If we still lived in Trost together?"

You thought about it a lot. In fact, you always thought of the two of you growing old together in that boring old town with his mother and your stupid brother. You would have been a member of the family business and he would have followed up his father's business.

You both knew that's what you really wanted. Didn't everyone want to go back in time and change the past...change that day when the wall fell?

"Yeah," you muttered, "We would have been so happy. My brother would have been a kick ass survey corps squad leader and my mom would have lived to see me working in the family business. You know... my mom always said we would get married one day. You and me, growing old together. Sounds like a dream now."

"My mom always said the same thing. She was always so excited about it."

"Jean, do you think we'll ever go back to those times? Living our lives?"

"I don't really know, (Y/N)."

You laid there for a while, simply resting to the beat of your hearts. His head came to rest in the crook of your neck and you rubbed his back along his spine, feeling his warmth through his shirt and on your calloused fingertips. Your lips were chapped from breathing so hard outside in the heat so you licked them subconsciously.

"Jean?" you asked, knowing he was going to answer.

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I still remember, these old country lanes, when we did not know the answers.

His lips were cold against yours, moving so slowly you thought you might melt in his arms. Your back was pressed softly in the doorway and your head was tipped back in his hand. You held onto his neck with one hand and the other was securely on his cheek, bringing him closer.

Even if this was the fortieth time you kissed, it was always a different experience. The hall was only lit by the moonlight coming from the window in your room, lighting your profiles subtly. Your heart was beating normally, unlike before when it would beat fast just when he held your hand.

You pulled away and pressed your forehead to his, hot breath hitting your lips at an even pace. It was bittersweet, the romance. Friends since childhood turned to lovers over the span of a decade. Sometimes, it still felt so weird to you. Was this even real? Were you even alive, kissing the one person in this world that made you feel nostalgic?

Beautiful?

Loved.

"It shouldn't be like this," You mumbled against his cheek, lips leaving phantom touches on his scarred skin.

"I know." He paused for a moment before kissing your temple. "I love you just the same, maybe more."

"Jean, we're eighteen. We could have been married by now. Sasha could be the maid of honor and Armin could be the best man and we could-"

"I wish."

There was silence, other than the rapid beating in your chests and your shallow breaths. The hall felt so cold and distant, as if you could never make it out alive. In a sense, that was completely true. No one would make it out alive, defeat all the titans, discover every secret of the universe...It wasn't going to work.

And one day, you all would die. Not by old age. You would die like all our fallen comrades

With honor and wings of freedom engraved into your hearts.

I miss the way you make me feel, it's real.

Eren sat beside the boy with two-toned hair, his hands resting on the ground while his eyes stared at the sky, the orange fading to pink and then fading to purple until the darkness was settling in. Jean was crying, silently, but nevertheless, thick tears were streaming down his cheeks.

For the first time in years, Eren actually felt bad for the boy. No one deserved this kind of pain. And for Jean to opening cry in front of him only showed how destroyed he really was. "I'm sorry."

What else was he supposed to say?

Jean pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly. His chin rested on his knees, still crying. He didn't dare look at Eren beside him. His heart was too broken to even think of talking to someone else at the moment. It would take time, he knew that, but at the moment, life was over. His entire world was burned.

"(Y/n) loved you a lot, you know? They used to tell Armin about your adventures together," he tried to say lightly, only to feel worse. Why would he say that? It probably only brought up memories. "I'm just so sorry-"

Eren felt the rage boiling in his stomach until he lost it, throwing his hands into the air and glaring out into the horizon. This wasn't right, nor was it something to be sorry about. It just made him angry. "God, why did this happen? Why do titans have to ruin everything?"

And we watched the sunset over the castle on the hill.

You were gone, just like everyone else in his life. The wings in his hand, stained with the blood of his fallen soldier, only served as a reminder to him just how much he lost. He lost his best friend, his lover, his soulmate.

His bed was sweet with your scent, sunken into his pillows and spilling from his sheets each time he threw back the blanket. No matter how many times he washed it, your soul still wafted there in the air like a ghost.

Yet, life goes on.

[ourwingsofwarriors]

Just For a Moment -Final-

Characters: Hanji Zoe, Levi Ackermann, Erwin Smith, OC Genre: Romance, Action, Fantasy Pairing: LeviHan, Eruhan Rated: M for MMMMM

Chapter one Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six

Mornings came, I didn’t want to wake. Evenings came, I laid there, silent. I didn’t want to see anyone, I didn’t want to speak to anyone, I just wanted to be left alone… even just for a moment. There was always a constant knock on my door, the corps expecting me to take on the role of commander. My eye, I was in pain… I couldn’t open it. It throbbed in agonising pain when it did. Now I knew just a little of what Erwin must of felt. My heart longed just to hear his voice again, what I would've done to hear his stupid jokes when we drank tea… what I would've done to just see his eyes again… But he wasn’t coming back.

My body felt numb, even though we had sealed wall Maria, I still felt like it was a huge defeat for us, we lost so many of our comrades and there was no going back, and how many people would continue to join the ranks? With the news of what had happened… the suicide mission led by Erwin, all the new recruits… dead apart from one. How many more people would die for this? For us? Erwin put down his life for Levi to kill the beast titan yet we couldn’t even do that! We lost Reiner through my stupidity, I should've killed him when I had the chance. But I let him get away.

The shock of grief had paralyzed me. Levi had left me be, only to bring food to my door, which would remain untouched. He knew the door wasn’t locked but still, he remained on the other side of the door. I longed for his touch against my skin, but I hated the idea of him feeling pity for me, because of my eye… Erwin… Moblit. My body longed for the same feeling I felt the night me and Levi connected, the night I saw Erwin alive again, from the cart. But nothing was going to bring that back now… I was numb.. Empty. I had nothing left now.

Then I realised, in this fleeting moment of life, Erwin would be doing his duty, if it had been Levi or myself… yet here I was. Unable to move from my bed, unwilling to speak to anyone. I was weak, and I was not anything like Erwin.. How could I be the commander? I held my hand against my heart.

“Why…” I muttered to myself “Why did you leave” I felt myself welling up again, but I stopped myself, how many tears would I shed before I felt okay again? Because I felt like I had cried till the storms were dry. If just for a moment I could've stopped him, told him to stay here.. Maybe it would've been different. But in that moment would of someone else lost their life?

And in this moment the door opened very slightly. Before I saw someone peek in ever so slightly… It was Levi..

“I’m sorry Hanji… I couldn’t bare to wait any longer” his eyes were dark, his skin rough… stubble covered his chin. He had been waiting? For me? “I couldn’t let you rot away in here any longer” he sighed, he walked in and closed the door, before walking towards the bed and sitting by my knees, which I held to my chest. “Hanji… you know he wouldn’t of wanted you to be like this…” He placed his hand ever so gently on my knee. I looked up at him, then pushed my head back into the rough blood stained pillow. “Hanji… say something… please” I know what he was feeling… like this was all his fault.

Then I remembered all those moments, even when we had lost our friends and comrades, under the fire we were brave. We would share memories, hopes and dreams. Even now, there was a need for that in my life, I felt like without that motivation, knowing what we all wanted to fight for.. Erwin wanted so badly to prove his dad's theories right… and see that basement.. But now it was up to me to fulfill his wishes. I remembered those times and a slight smile touched my lips. We would just stupidly drunk and end up on the mess hall floor asleep. One by one we would wake up and have to step over everyone's bodies to get to our own room… I always managed to fly there… but I think I knew.. Who carried me, it had been Erwin. I couldn’t let the loss of Erwin kill me too… not yet. I will see him again in hell. Levi looked down at the floor and in that moment I knew … Levi was feeling this pain too.

Levi would only follow Erwin.. And trusted him with everything. How could I be so selfish when Levi was suffering too… I wanted to slap myself for being so cruel.

“Levi” I said… I took his hand. He looked to me “how are you feeling?” I asked

“I’m okay” He replied “No… don’t lie this time”

“I … hate myself…” he sighed “I could've saved him” He looked to me “I could of right?” “No… None of us could of..” I remembered the moment Levi could've saved him, but chose Armin over him. But arguing that case with Levi would be childish, he wanted Erwin to live too.

“But…” I saw a tear fall from Levis eye. “It’s time for you now…” He wiped the tear away “Hm?” “Commander..” “Don’t.. Call me that…” I sighed “I’m not ready” “But shitty….” He paused he didn’t finished calling me by my nickname… I guess he realised that was the end of it… even four eyes. I was eyeless. “Im sorry” “Stop apologizing!” I shouted “what is saying sorry going to do Levi!” “I can’t… I wasn’t even near you when Bertolt changed, you could of died and I wasn’t there to protect you”” “Moblit died saving me, do you really think I would've let you save me if I knew what would've happened?” I sighed “there is no point in arguing about this… It happened there is no going back” Levi cupped my face, leaning in to kiss my forehead “I am just… I am happy you are still here” “You too…” I muttered as I took his hand and kept it there on my cheek “But look at me” “What about you?” “My eye”

“Doesn’t change how I see you” Levi said again. He pulled me in closer, kissing me. “Erwin would of agreed” he smiled. “We can’t be sad… for his sake, we must keep living…” “I agree…” “And you know… he said… that if anyone was to be with you, that wasn’t him… I would be the only one who he would approve of..” He sighed “I thought you would like to know that”

“Now, lets just you dressed” he smiled.

A went into the washroom and I heard the sound of running water, he came back through, his shirt now off, he nearly placed it at my desk. I looked up at him “tch” he smirked “come on, you stink” He laughed slightly. I got up and followed him through to the washroom. I looked at him as he closed the door, it was steaming up in here, he pulled me close and unbuttoned my shirt, gently taking it off, his fingers felt like feathers brushing against my skin. He unbuttoned my trousers, before they fell to my ankles. Leaving me in just my underwear now. Levi himself undressed, leaving his clothes in a neat pile on the floor meanwhile mine were scattered everywhere. I slipped my bra off, followed by my pants, his boxers also made their way to the floor.

We slipped into the hot bath, the two of us looked at each other. Letting our bodies adjust to the heat of the water. Then Levi turned me around and pressed me against him. “You know last time you weren’t even aware of what I did” He hummed into my ear. He pulled up the soap and started to rub it against me “Weren’t you curious?” His arms pressed me closer to him, my head on his shoulder, my back pressed against his chest.

“Oh god…” I whined “Levi..” I tensed up as his hands cupped and pawed at my breasts. I arched my back, feeling his member pressing against my butt. “Levi..”

One of his hands moved down towards my centre. He bit at my neck, he pushed on me, twirling his finger, making me start to feel heated. His finger slipped inside of me, before pushing another finger in. He started to pick up the pace, I grasped onto the sides of the bath as he made me sweat. “Levi” I moaned out as he kept biting at me, fingering me.. Making me feel like a goddess. My heart was bursting with emotions and it was sending me into overdrive.

I thought of spending my life with this man, and it gave me hope for a future. Levi made me feel so safe in his arms and he knew how to make me feel like I was worth more than just another recruit in the Survey Corps.

I turned around as he broke free from me and I looked at him, the water was low, like Levi had planned this out. I went towards him, straddling him, taking the soap from the side and washed his firm tight abs which I could've never imagined seeing. He looked at me, deep into my eyes.

“Tch..” he smirked again and I kissed him, pulling my hips up to him, before slowly griding him, teasing him, not allowing him to be in complete control. He tried to push me down onto him, however I wouldn’t allow it, I kept teasing and I could see in Levis face he wanted more.

I took his member by the hand and started pumping his member up and down, he tensed up and smirked, he pushed up with my hand, but this wasn’t it, he wanted in, he wanted me completely but I wasn’t going to give it to him easily. “Hanji… I swear” He muttered into my ear, and as I heard his whines I pushed down, his large throbbing member entering me, he let out a gasp and pulled me closer, his mouth all over me.

Our bodies were perfect in unison, our teamwork, our passion for each other, drove our sex to be incredible, like ecstasy he made my core numb and throb. The water created waves with our movement, as I rode Levi completely, making him feel good, making him want me more, I let out a soft moan and he grabbed my breasts, his other hand wrapped around me. His lips on mine, not telling me go. “Fuck” He started to thrust up and harder with me, the water splashing over the sides. My nails dug into his back slightly as I felt myself coming to my end, his tender touch made me go crazy and I felt myself climaxing as Levi released his seed into me, I felt his hotness fill me. He pulled me closed and kissed me deeply. “We should go..” Levi said “everyone was worried…” He pulled me into his arms and I rubbed his chest,

“I guess…” I sighed “For them.. Not me”

Levi lead me in front of everyone in the mess hall, everyone stood up to look at me, 3 days had past and this was the first time I was appearing. In my black jacket, Levi next to me. “Everyone..” Levi said “We have something to say..” He pushed me forward in front of everyone, and stood behind me, he didn’t leave my side.

“Hello everyone..” I stood in front of everyone, where Erwin use to stand, it was now just me and Levi “I am sorry I wasn’t with you all through these hard days… But for once I found myself struggling to find a way to say what I want to. This battle we have just seen, the battle we won.. Wasn’t an easy one. We lost many people, our friends… our comrades. People you may not of even spoken to or known their names. We can not forget them, we can not let their deaths be in vain, not this time.” I looked to Levi “No one's deaths were in vain. We all lost something on this day. I have to thank everyone, thank everyone for their commitment, for their sacrifice. All of you will be honoured.”

I paused for a moment, I looked up and looked at everyone's faces. “And Erwin Smith, we may of lost him, but please… Follow me as your new commander. I will never replace him, I will never be Erwin… but I will try my best to guide you to victory. We have to continue fighting for our dreams, for a future beyond the wall. We will continue the battle...and I promise you I will be by your side”

“And I will be with you… until my final breath” Levi whispered in my ear.

[danmacrae]

Silly 90s Intro Blab: A Thing To Skim Through On The Toilet

Hello! I’m semi-tolerable nuisance Dan MacRae! Why am I shouting at you? Not sure! Sorry, I’ll take it down a notch.

Instead of learning how to pleasure a woman or how to unlock the mysteries of grooming, I have devoted my life to TV nonsense. Blessed YouTube presence RwDt09 has been collecting these amazing compilations of era (and sometimes season) specific TV intros and they are my everything. Imagine having a child that didn’t suck? That’s the feeling RwDt09′s videos put in my heart.

I've been obsessively rewatching this collection of mostly forgotten early '90s TV intros. The bulk of these shows died a quick death and feel like the product of whatever drugs TV execs take. (Probably something snorted from one of those awesome McDonalds coffee straws they ditched in like 2002.) Because I'm a handsome pin-up hunk of the year, I wrote some dumb blurbs about the first few shows and have some stray thoughts on the rest. This appeals to no one but me AND I APOLOGIZE TO NO ONE!

In the immortal words of John Lennon, let’s get biz-zay!

DINOSAURS: I’m at a point in my life where I can acknowledge that Dinosaurs sucked. It’s incredibly freeing. Christ, this is like that stupid-ass Norman Lear show where dogs did social commentary BUT WITH HENSON PUPPETS! I hope Baby Sinclair was stomped to death and eaten as pudding before the extinction series finale. (Yes, that happened.) The intro isn’t bad, mind you. You get the lumbering theme song and Earl gets stuck in a door CUZ LAFFS! TIMES SURE HAVEN’T CHANGED HO HO HO! God I hate these fucking dinosaurs.

Intro MVP: It’s not a stellar pack, but we get a bit of Robbie Sinclair who census data has shown led to a variety of surprising sexual awakenings for youths at the time.

SCORCH: A 1300-year-old dragon named Scorch visits the 1990s on a budget that looks not far removed from Skank on The Ben Stiller Show. The song will make you want to barricade your sex organs from a world where you can bring children into a world with THAT CAWAZZZY SCORCH! The theme song really is a special brand of irritating and Scorch looks like a malformed Deviant Art dildo with a vaguely religious bent.

Intro MVP: Probably John O’Hurley for not actually appearing in the intro. (Even with O’Hurley’s weird résumé.)

FISH POLICE: Not to be confused with the (ARF! ARF! ARF!) Dog Police, Fish Police and Family Dog are shows I know almost exclusively from being mentioned as examples of the crappy post-Simpsons primetime animation gold rush. Fish Police actually looks good animation-wise, but it’s pretty clear you’re gonna be sledgehammered with endless “COULD YOU IMAGINE FISH DOING THESE OLD TROPES? DO WE NEED TO CALL A SEARCH PARTY FOR YOUR SIDES? ARE THEY SPLITTING ALREADY?” jokes. Congrats dipshits, you made a cinema-touched precursor to Frankie & George. You dummies. Also there’s the tone of casual racism UNDER THE SEA so do with that what you will. DID YOU SEE CHINATOWN? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT?

Intro MVP: Thank goodness they specified who John Ritter voices so we could all bask in Inspector Gil as a character name. Fuck you, Fish Police.

CAPITOL CRITTERS: Christ, this looks UNWATCHABLE. Like walk into oncoming traffic as an alternative unwatchable. Capitol Critters centers around an animated mouse named Max (voiced by Neil Patrick Harris) witnesses his family being murdered in Nebraska and moves to D.C. and wait what the fuck is going on with those roaches? (Racism, mostly.) Who thought this was a good idea to invest time, money and animator joint damage in? Stephen Bochco, baby! I have a perverse curiosity to see an episode but after 90 seconds I know I'd be dying to eat a fucking gun instead of suffering through any more of Capitol Critters.

Intro MVP: Gotta be Bochco. Also, EAT SHIT BOCHCO!

And now a really tiny blab about the rest. Watch this clip package, ya goofs!

FAMILY DOG: Folks were fucking horny for Spielberg TV shit in the 90s, ditto Tim Burton too and that's how an Amazing Stories, uh, story was morphed into a shitball TV series that Brad Bird wanted no part of. Also, I have no idea how to explain things like the CBS StereoSound chyron to anyone born after Clinton left office.

THE CRITIC: Nice to see you, Jay Sherman! This is a lovely intro and you likely know that already. I've done a few rewatches of The Critic (not the web series season, though) and I say the show definitely holds up and is far from a duketastrophe. That said, some of the parody film clips that got raves at the time are kinda creaky in hindsight.

CHARLIE HOOVER: Can I say something? Fuck Sam Kinison. Hmm... That's a bit harsh. I guess I just don't get him on any level. The only thing he's done that I've ever found all that funny was when he said he wished Andrew Dice Clay die of stomach cancer from the inside out, like Bette Davis. Kinison's not my cup of tea is what I'm getting at. In Charlie Hoover (GET IT HURF HURF), Kinison is a foot high loudmouth in a long coat that's getting 40-year-old square Tim Matheson where he needs to be in life.

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN: Or... "Betty Spaghetti's Here Which Is All The Star Power You Need!"

HARDBALL: A League Of Their Own had a fun, feel good intro with all the corny touches of ol' timey baseball. Hardball tries to sell you on Joe Rogan: Baseball Fella and the vague scent of urinal troughs.

GOOD GRIEF: Howie Mandel golfs in a cemetery and it's not particularly clear if he's just fucking around on strangers graves for fun. (Alternate Theory: Those graves belong to the family from Bobby's World. All the Generics!)

THE FANELLI BOYS: If enjoy broad Italian-American stereotypes to the point of falling down laughing at the sight of a pizza box, you'll love The Fanelli Boys! Joe Pantoliano and Christopher Meloni both star.

SOMETHING WILDER: Something Wilder was the sort of show where I wished Gene Wilder well and still kept 5000 miles away from watching it. Also, Wilder's face on that house is CHILLING.

DUDLEY: Embrace the luxury hotel elevator elegance of Dudley! Does it feature Dudley Moore make a series of faces where he seems surprised by everything? You better believe it. This was also where Max Wright got work in-between taking abuse from a cat eating alien and Norm Macdonald.

CAROL & COMPANY: It's a bit Carol Takes On in the intro with Carol Burnett in assorted costumes and that's alright because everyone does the assorted costumes intro thing. Tickets to the show are blown across America and get in the hands of whatever Orphan Black Carol happens to be in the area.

THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: This is an extremely 90s sort of intro that feels like something more upscale soft rock stations did in TV ads at the time too. Richard Kind directs a bit of paper at someone midway through.

DREXELL'S CLASS: One of more storied entries in the Dabney Coleman being an asshole catalogue. The first intro features Dabney, ol' Drex himself, just hanging around in class being hot shit and occasionally mimicking a flying dinosaur. The second intro is a more traditional clip collection highlighted by a young Brittany Murphy (WHO WAS MURDERED! FACT! REMINDER!) and Coleman in a wild 8 ball jacket. Rembrandt off Sliders also makes an appearance.

TEECH: If this intro looks exactly like a sitcom where a Cool Black Music Instructor™ teaches Prep School bad boys in Bush Sr era America that's because it is exactly that sort of sitcom. Maggie Han deserves better.

THE ROYAL FAMILY: It seems extra cruel to take Redd Foxx's popcorn away considering he'd be dead before the fifth episode even aired. Della Reese is in this, die-hard Della fans.

ROC: This intro works perfectly. We get Charles S. Dutton, Ella Joyce and an easy to digest Jerry Lawson theme song. (En Vogue would do the theme later.) It’d be nice if they could get Edgar Allan Poe wagging a finger at seafood or something else in the background to push that Baltimore thing even more, but I still wish this intro from 25+ year old Fox comedy all the best in its future endeavours.

BREWSTER PLACE: Speaking of good intros, Brewster Place is a first rate brand of TV welcome. Brenda Pressley is the MVP of the intro over Oprah Winfrey which might explain why Brenda Pressley has been missing since 1992. (I know she’s on The Path. Just play along.)

SUNDAY BEST: The intro equivalent of getting someone to throw shit at a wall, we get an early 90s NBC grab bag of fuck it whatever shots of TVs and TV dinners with poor Carl Reiner trotted out partway through.

AMERICAN CHRONICLES: Mark Frost and David Lynch paired for a documentary series in the early ‘90s on Fox because Fox was like fucking UHF at the time. The industrial strength creepy opening doesn’t include any shots of narrator Richard Dreyfuss turning towards the camera and that’s a damn shame.

AMERICAN DETECTIVES: If you get horny for stressed out real-life detectives, this will send your undergarments to Mars! Lots of mustaches here. A whole Safeway bag’s worth. Some real rural gas station rock going on with that theme tune.

FBI: THE UNTOLD STORIES: The tone of this entire intro is: “Hey kid, wanna see a dead body? Or twenty?” Creepy music blasting over Jackie Kennedy on the back of JFK’s death limo and Wayne Williams heading to trial equals primetime party fun!

ENCOUNTERS: THE HIDDEN TRUTH: Suck it, Sightings! Encounters is leading a new dawn for crackpot horseshit to eat Bugles to! I appreciate the shameless X-Files knockoff intro thing Fox is doing (cuz it’s their show) that comes complete with head shop blanket alien head popping up midway through.

STEPHEN KING’S GOLDEN YEARS: Essentially Garth Marenghi's Darkplace with one hell of a music rights win tacked on.

TRIBECA: This opening reminds me an awful lot of terrible movies I was bullied into watching on VHS at a friend’s house.

WIOU: One thing I like in a TV intro is when something fun happens with the title onscreen. It’s a minor thing, but the way those WIOU letters turn into view? HOOCHIE MAMA! Eight is Enough’s Dick Van Patten does a fantastic job of conveying that being a weatherfellow is tough work.

GABRIEL’S FIRE: I will never for the life of me understand how the early ‘90s could not sustain a James Earl Jones fronted program titled Gabriel’s Fire. Those worlds are supposed to meld beautifully.

PROS & CONS: Gabriel’s Fire would morph into the more lighthearted Pros & Cons which symbolized its new form by laying it on thick with the Video Toaster touches. Instead of James Earl Jones peering at you from the darkness, this go-around it’s a lot of smiles and silly moments with Richard Crenna.

BURKE’S LAW: Hearing “it’s Burke’s Law” at the start of that intro is like when “Do you smell what The Rock’s cooking?” would play before Dwayne Johnson would wander down a ramp to kick Triple H in the stomach. In this case, it’s to get you fired up that Gene Barry’s back on television. This particular episode promises Dom DeLuise and Tawny Kitaen together at last!

MAX MONROE: LOOSE CANNON: If you only see one intro for a Shadoe Stevens vehicle that transitions from a Donut Hole shot to an extended leer at a lady’s bum, make it this one!

TEQUILA AND BONETTI: The creators of Tequila and Bonetti know that if you want folks to get on board for an L.A. dramedy about a New York cop and streetwise police partner dog, you should kick things off by trying to make you feel sorry for this asshole who “accidentally” murdered a kid. Seriously, that’s the route Tequila and Bonetti goes with this fucking insane opening that begins with newspaper headlines screaming “COP KILLS 12 YR OLD” while he cradles a black girl in her arms and then BOOM! we’re spun around to JACK SCALIA GRINNING AROUND WACKY LOS ANGELES AND ALL ITS CRAZY CHARACTERS LIKE A DOG THAT JUMPS THROUGH A FUCKING WINDOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? THIS IS LIKE IF SOMEONE STROKED OFF THE HANNITY VIEWING AND KEPT WHAT WAS SPURTED OUT ONSCREEN! It’s just a really, really, really bad intro.