#if only there was boxes Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[feartheoldblog]

tried a white claw for the first time and i now know what a suggestion of a flavour is in a drink

[spielzeugkaiser]

Being on the nostalgia train this week really helped stretching my artistic legs again. So here, have some old things and some new! For now I'm done with this.

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

You flew the mother plane directly into the world serve center.

Hit the cuntagon!

Audio source

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[bluegiragi]

konig reminisces with horangi over his short-lived stint as an underground boxer in his teenage years...

more on patreon (plus the nsfw follow-up comic)

bonus:

[justfriendsbestthings]

Baking with Wilmon ✨

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wardrobe Woes

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[lumi-cherries]

shu and mika booba comparison plsplsplsplsplspls (<- on hands and knees)

SHUMIKA BOOBA COMPARISON!!!!!!!

[a2zillustration]

I have put Gale in so many Situations™ because I always forget I have a potion that can do the exact same thing a spell slot can, sorry bud.

| First | | Previous | | Next |

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

[shepscapades]

Saw you playing dynaball tonight :D! Super cool to see one of my fav mcyt artists out in the wild lol

WEEE no that makes me super happy :D i love general mcci shenanigans and it always makes me really happy when people pm me saying they like my art or anything else, you guys are super sweet :( <3

Feel free to come punch me if you see me :D

[thebestpartofwakingup]

@diminuel been desperately waiting these past couple weeks to finally get the free time to sketch the grumiest, brattiest, sassiest girl of any RA (and eventually, Navy) recruit's nightmares

[sarohy]

Lunch break

[spirit-lanterns]

Oh my god WALL-E Stelle has stolen my heart! I can't stop thinking about her 🥺. Do you think she'd bring you little plants that she found like how WALL-E showed EVE the plant he found (or would she bring you things she dug out of trashcans that she thought was neat)? Would she have abandonment issues? Would she overwork herself to the point of breaking down because she doesn't want to be abandonned by engineer reader even though she knows that engineer reader would never do that to her?

WALL-E Stelle my beloved❤️

Can I be 🏹 anon?

DNWKJDKWJD YES. Sometimes when Stelle is on the job looking through dumpsters, she’ll find a discarded bouquet of flowers that someone threw away (probably some poor sap that got rejected) and she’ll get the idea to give it to you instead! Sure the flowers are a little wilted with many of the petals falling already, but Android! Stelle genuinely can’t tell the difference because flowers are flowers! She wants to give the human she loves some flowers to show her love 🥺

Expect her to come home every other day with a rotting bouquet of flowers inside a soup can, or something else she finds interesting that she thinks can be useful to you! Sometimes Stelle will scrounge around for spare parts in the dumpsters, and bring them home to you because she thinks you can use them for your projects <33

She kinda does all of this out of appreciation for you taking her in after her owners abandoned her, but she also does it to secretly show how much she loves you. She’s smitten, definitely like how WALL-E acts around EVE 😅

P.S: Yes you can be 🏹 anon

[fishyartist]

[dustteller]

Honestly, the most shocking part of the plagiarism accusations is not even the plagiarism itself. I knew people plagiarized stuff, even if I didn't know who. The most shocking part is sheer lack of opinions.

I don't understand. You are interested enough by a subject that you read so much material to plagiarize, but for some reason, during this entire process, you do not form A Thought? Not a single one? I have opinions about the shit the people in front of me in the plane are talking about! I can not imagine actively consuming a significant amount of content and not having three times as many opinions!!! What is your brain! Are you a lizard??? What the heck is going on up there?? Do you lack the joy of Pondering and Considering and Creating????? I kinda just thought those were inherent human traits!

[opossumisst]

havent drawn this loser in a While