#wish it was more than 4.5% but we take what we can get

[feartheoldblog]

tried a white claw for the first time and i now know what a suggestion of a flavour is in a drink

[fanfic-obsessed]

Not quite a fall

Here is an idea that takes the horrifying absurdity of the Clone Wars and magnifies it.  Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times…unless you wish to become part of the ride itself. Then grab onto these characters and you too can try to wrangle them. 

I do want to make it clear from the start that the Jedi Council and Dooku are making the best of some fairly shitty options, at this point and in the future. The Jedi do not know/cannot prove Palpatine is Sidious and the reality is that without absolute proof they risk being wrong and if they are then the real Sith master will go to ground and they will be left with nothing.  In addition Palpatine has contingencies for every aspect of his plan (and likely did in canon as well, if he had a contingency clones for himself), including if clones were found early, the chips did not work as intended, and the Jedi found out too early. It may not be obvious, or seem counterintuitive for the Jedi to keep walking forward, even knowing of the trap, knowing that so many would likely die in this fabricated war. But this is not meant to be criticizing the Jedi for the shitty options they had. 

Now we start with Yan Dooku, prior to his Fall. This is also before the Naboo crisis , in fact this is in the beginning when Palpatine is still manipulating him. 

*-As a side note, have you ever tried to look into the timeline for the clones and try to fit it into the greater timeline. That shit is wild. Jango Fett is recruited for Operation Knightfall-Order 66 and the clone project- in 32 BBY. This is the same year of the Naboo crisis and, according to Wookiepeidia, it is also the year that Cody was born. Based on what we know of the Kaminoan numbering system for the clones, there were at least 2 batches before Cody’s-The Nulls and the Alphas. Jango Fett was recruited by Dooku after his Fall, and he is said to have fallen after Qui Gonn’s death. I get that Palpatine had already been building towards this but man for this timeline to work Dooku had a quicker Fall time than Anakin-who went from ‘stop him’ to ‘time to murder children’ in a distressingly short period of time-  All this adds up to 32 BBY being, like, 2020 COVID  levels of crazy. Because we had Qui Gon’s death, Dooku’s fall, the recruitment of Jango Fett-I understand there was a bounty hunt as an audition-, and all of this happened in enough time for at least 3 batches of clones- possibly more- to be born in 32BBY. How long is the gestation period for the clones? How is gestation and decanting set up so this timeline works. The Galactic Standard year is a 12 month/368 day model. Even if we presume that the double aging is also present in gestation, thus instead of 9 months it takes 4.5 months, that is still 13.5 months for 3 batches. Even with a staggered start cycles-batch 1 is the start point, batch 2 starts a week later, batch 3 starts a week after that and we can get everything down to a minimum 5 months, there still so much shit that has to happen in 7 months-*

In this Dooku, as a Jedi Master, does recognize that he is being manipulated and goes to the Jedi Council. He has just enough proof to prove that the Sith were back but does now know who (He knows that Palptine is involved but does not know if he is a Sith, a willing collaborator, or a patsy). The council decides that Dooku would go undercover as it were, to pretend that he is falling for Palpatine’s manipulation and to let it go to its natural conclusion, which they all presume will end with Dooku pretending to fall.  Outside of the Council, there are only three other Jedi that are told of this assignment. Shadows Tholme and Quinlan Vos (though a senior Padawan at the time) were his contacts. The only other person told was Senior Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi, at the insistence of Mace Windu (Now this was not through some belief in Obi Wan as a person, or his value to such a mission. It was purely so that he could keep Qui Gon Jinn from flipping his lid when and if Dooku needed to pretend to be a Sith. Jinn was not told because no one thought that he could keep from endangering everyone through some ‘Will of the Force’ reasoning or trying to be ‘helpful’).  Neither Obi Wan or the Shadows are told who else knows (though Vos and Thome do know the other is aware), and Obi Wan still has no contact with Dooku, so this knowledge does not change much at first. To be exceedingly clear, Obi Wan is only told that Master Yan Dooku is taking a long term mission where he might have to appear to Fall, in which case Obi Wan is going to need to keep Qui Gon from interfering; he is given no other information about to mission or what is being found.  As it turns out Qui Gon dies just before Dooku ‘falls’. 

The clones are still commissioned, but they are not chipped; save for a single clone whose name later becomes Chip, this is the clone that Dooku shows to Palpatine as proof the plan was going as it should. This Dooku is more involved with the Clones. Though the trainers do not know it (having entirely bought into project Knightfall), Dooku carefully teaches the clones th truth of their existence (that the war they are being commissioned for is BS, purely a trap for the Jedi and that they would have been designed to both love and be forced kill the Jedi). In essence he trains them to be spies in the guise of soldiers.  He has reported the existence of the clones to the council, but like Dooku they are stuck by what they can visibly do with the information. There is some limited secret contact between the leaders of the clones (The Alpha’s as the Nulls had been adopted by Kal Skirata) and the Jedi Council, in which the Jedi Council apologizes for what is being asked of the clones and plans are made to help those that need an escape wherever they are able (Dooku ‘claims’ as many clones that were due to be decommissioned for his own ‘experiments’ as he is able, most of the time that meant that clones who were to be decommissioned were sent to live on a small, unpopulated moon in Serrano’s system-the exceptions to this were clones born with fatal, untreatable congenital defects, for example being without enough of their major organs that there would be no way to grow more before the child died in agony-those few who were truly not viable were given a painless death. It becomes a practice amongst the clones that anyone who truly did not want to fight would drop their scores into Decommission range). 

To this end the Coruscant Guard were specifically chosen because they were the best at that kind of subterfuge, the clone equivalent of the Jedi Shadows and the ones who could keep themselves hidden/shielded against mind control 24/7. Fox is the only non Force sensitive, near human in the galaxy who is entirely impervious to Jedi mind tricks and Sith Mind control, the reason he was given the command that would have given him the most contact with Palpatine. They find out, much later, that some strange mutation makes him entirely impervious to any Force based power that will cause him harm.

When the time comes to enact the plans to start the war, Dooku still sends Jango Fett to lure Obi Wan to Geonosis.  But Obi Wan goes to Kamino knowing that he was going to find the Clones (having been briefed by the Council, who had been informed by Dooku). Anakin is not aware of the second layer to their mission to protect Padme, having never been brought into the loop regarding Dooku.  Obi Wan and Dooku have a pleasant conversation about both Qui Gon (and how he was likely watching from the Force), and there is a plan in place for Obi Wan to escape before the gladiatorial arena in a way that still would spark the war, but not cost lives.  That plan had to be abruptly scrapped when Anakin and Padem showed up on Geonosis to ‘rescue’ Obi Wan, after they sent a message to the council.  One of the major changes to Geonosis is how Anakin lost his hand; it was not chopped off by Dooku but lost in an explosion caused by the droids. 

Here is where we start to get into the horror and the humor. Because this war is fabricated, a thing of smoke and mirrors whose sole purpose is to collect power for a few individuals. More importantly this is a Bullshit created war for the purpose of trapping the Jedi. The upper command on both sides (Jedi High council, Dooku and later Ventress, Palpatine, Grievous) know that the entire war is bullshit, though Palpatine does not know that the JHC are aware. The troopers, from the youngest to the oldest clones, are all utterly aware that the war is bullshit. They grew knowing they would be fighting in a war that was utter bullshit.  The reason that the Droids could not be programmed for critical thinking was that it took them a maximum one battle to realize the war was bullshit, and they were not pleased about being cannon fodder. 

In fact there were only two groups who were actually affected by the war that were not aware that the entire thing was contrived bullshit. 

Every office not part of the high command (non clone officers, Jedi Generals, the entire command structure between fielded droids and CIS Generals on Grievous's level-I have no idea how the command structure of the CIS army works and barely any more about the GAR structure but work with me here), which I tend to think of as the middle management is the first group. 

The other is the innocents being attacked by CIS forces.  To them the war is very real.

Until they know for sure who the Sith Master is Dooku, the Jedi High Command(now including a fully read-in Obi Wan), or the Clones cannot let on that they know the war is ultimately bullshit. And there are too many innocents at stake to completely blow off or fake fighting. Yes when Dooku, and Ventress after she is brought into the fold, are in command they tend to try and take worlds with resources but little to no populations and they disengage as soon as they possibly can,  but there are too many who buy into ‘The War’ or the power that they are getting to fake battles and in battles someone is bound to die. 

Imagine being one of the Jedi Councilors and high generals, knowing (instead of just suspecting) that every battle they go into is unnecessary bullshit to trap the Jedi. Knowing that their troopers know that they are being sent into battle for unnecessary bullshit, but everyone having to pretend that they buy into the bullshit, that they have to pretend ignorance of things so gallingly obvious.

-In this world the Jedi council has created a secret process for allowing the defection of troopers that do not want to fight. Pong Krell (who never got to the point of Falling, as he never got used to thinking the clones were non sentient) and a handful of other Jedi spread throughout the system's armies, maintained a deliberately high ‘casualty’ rate to go with their high success rate. Clones that wanted to defect were transferred to these specific battalions where they were ‘killed in action’ and transported to a way point that relays them to the planet the decommissioned clones went to. None of these Jedi know that Dooku is actually on their side, or that the whole war is bullshit, but they are able to hang onto their sanity a bit better for this process. -

Picture Dooku, and later Ventress, staring across the battlefield as horrified at the lives being taken as the Jedi. Still having to pretend to buy in, saying all the right things (Ventress does still take Wolffe’s eye, but it is Wolffe’s idea to help sell that Ventress is not ‘too soft’ on the clones she is fighting). Imagine having to calculate the exact point they can withdraw, when they have to press their victory for appearances. Knowing that they (as Ventress was completing her Jedi training under Dooku, who does not want her to be lost to the darkside) have to reconcile killing for the sake of appearances.  Having to bury their own horror when they work with other CIS high command, who very much know that the entire war is bullshit but don’t care, or are actively enjoying, the lives lost. 

It changes some details, both major and minor, on who dies when, but in the grand scheme of things this knowledge does not change the overall trajectory of the war (though Dooku is not killed). It is still three years in that Palpatine tells Anakin (who, at no point, is brought into the loop about Dooku, the defection of clones, or any of it-mostly because no one not in a very strict ‘need to know’ was told and partly because the Jedi Council allowed the clones themselves to decide who would know about the defection battalions; they could not quite convince themselves that he would not share that information where he should not) that he is the Sith Master. Anakin runs to tell Windu. 

But in this, instead of gathering the council to fight Sidious, Windu’s first action is to comm Fox. All he says to the head of the CG is, ‘Palpatine has just confirmed that he is the Sith Master’. 

Fox responds with, ‘I will comm you when it is done’.

Anakin is standing there, breathing heavily from running all the way from the Senate, very unsure what was going on but certain the announcement that Palpatine was a Sith should be taken with some more urgency than Windu was showing. 

Ponds enters and when he is told who the Sith is he sighs, deeply. “I was so sure it was that odious aide of Palpatine’s” (Whom Pond refers to only by the name of Bastard, if at all).

Just as Anakin is starting to become antsy (very much in the mindset of ‘shouldn’t we do something about the professed Sith in the same building as my secret wife?) Fox comms back. His hair is sticking straight away from his head (he found out that Palpatine’s Lighting did not hurt him the old fashioned way) and reports that Palpatine is very dead (each Guard wanted to make sure…and shooting is a good way to make sure), the Senate is in lockdown, to tell Skywalker that his wife is on a medical transport for the Temple’s Healing Halls (using those exact words),and that Fox will be filing a formal complaint against the Naboo education system for poor sex ed.  

After the call is done, the next call Windu puts in is to Dooku. Windu tells Dooku that it is time to come home.  Anakin watches horrified fascination as Dooku visibly sags with relief, saying that he and Ventress just need to tie up some loose ends here and to have a therapist ready. 

[readingtostaysane]

Her first palestinian by Saeed Teebi - Review

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4.5)

Her first palestinian is a short story collection about Palestinian emigrants who had to leave their motherland and are now living in Canada. 

The stories include a variety of characters, some left Palestine due to the genocide, others are children that were born in Canada and only visited Palestine during a short period of time, others only heard stories about the country. 

All of the short stories are well constructed and although there were some I didn’t enjoy as much they are there to humanize palestinians. Very few stories are about the conflict itself, but how palestinians live their daily life in a different country than their own. Consequently it shows how the genocide affects their personal lives, even if they are so far away. 

I cloaked my origins as well as I could. If pressed, I offered a summary statement: my parents are from the Middle East, or something equally bland and untraceable.

A big theme throughout the book is identity, some characters hide the fact that they’re palestinians, others say it proudly only to be encountered with oposition, rejection and anti-semitism claims.

The writing is accessible, it is clear that Teebi wanted this book to reach a wild audience, not only those who were familiar with arab traditions, but people from all around the world. It is simple, but direct, however it doesn’t take away from the stories, if anything it adds to it, these are just normal people narrating their lives. 

Most of all, I thought of the mountains that hugged our tiny village, that circumscribed our world. I missed those mountains, even if I always longed to escape their embrace.

I enjoyed how each short story had a different voice and that the reader can distinguish them. We don’t get confused about which story are we reading now, the difference is clear.

“My understanding is that the family would like to get the body to their home country so they can perform the funeral rites themselves, in their traditional way,” he said. “It’s an admirable purpose, isn’t it? You would understand that more than anybody.”

This collection dives deeply into the microagressions arabs suffer, especially in the West. Always being asked where they are from or in cases like the excert above, that the traditions in all arab countries are the same. Watching these microagressions happen through the eyes of the characters that we were following, it felt as if they had been directed at you. You could understand them right away as you were inside their head. However, most of the times they were never addressed, because the character was so used to them. Knowing this happens regularly in the real world just seems dystopian, but it was a point Teebi adressed extremelly well.

Mohsen had managed to emigrate as a young man long ago, establishing himself and starting a family. He returned to Gaza every few years — the ajnabi cousin, the foreigner — with his well-tended teeth and sunscreen-preserved skin (…) “How lucky you are,” he would say, taking languorous looks around, “to still have our homeland’s air cool the pupils of your eyes every day.” But everyone in Mohsen’s company would have traded places with him any day

The stories about emigration where without a doubt my favourites. It explores both sides, those who move to another country and those who stay behind and face the consequences. The ressentment of watching your family leave but knowing you'd do the same if the opportunity was granted. The way emigration takes away your identity and that you’d wish to say in your motherland, but knowing it isn’t safe. These were all adressed with care and it gave a new perspective.

What I want most is silence. Since the tumult started, since children began to be unearthed from the rubble of downed buildings, I ache for silence

Palestinians are constantly bombarded with the awful news that their homeland is suffering. Sometimes it gets too much and these short stories address it in the most heartbreak way possible. What is it like for normal people, who are not activist, to deal with the fact that their home is disapearing?

I could put all the quotes I underlined here, but then i'd be spoiling the book.

I urge everyone to read this collection, it gives us great insight into normal daily lives of emigrants and there are interesting concepts to be debated here.

My rating of the stories:

⇒ Her first palestinian: 3 stars ⇒ Do not write about the king: 5 stars ⇒ Cynthia: 4 stars ⇒ Body: 5 stars. ⇒ Ushanka: 5 stars. ⇒ At the benefit: 4.5 stars ⇒ Woodland: 4.5 stars ⇒ The reflected sky: 3 stars ⇒ Enjoy your life, capo: 5 stars 

[readingrobin]

The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories by Angela Carter

Angela Carter was a storytelling sorceress, the literary godmother of Neil Gaiman, David Mitchell, Audrey Niffenegger, Kelly Link, and other contemporary masters of supernatural fiction. In her masterpiece, The Bloody Chamber--which includes the story that is the basis of Neil Jordan's 1984 movie The Company of Wolves--she spins subversively dark and sensual versions of familiar fairy tales and legends like "Little Red Riding Hood," "Bluebeard," "Puss in Boots," and "Beauty and the Beast," giving them exhilarating new life in a style steeped in the romantic trappings of the gothic tradition. -Storygraph

Angela Carter is somehow on another plane when it comes to storytelling. She weaves her words so elegantly, and yet there is some kind of beautiful danger to them. With all of her talks of wolves and beasts, her stories also have the edge of a predator to them, alluring and graceful, yet will also devour you whole if you're not too careful. This was my first time reading any of Carter's work, knowing that many of my favorite authors drew inspiration from her and, upon finishing the book, it's so clear how her influence survives in the horror written today. I know Neil Gaiman has listed her as one of his influences, which makes sense given the way both tend to incorporate some sort of vagueness into their works.

This collection of stories has so much depth within it that you almost need to take notes to get the full experience. That's not a bad thing for me personally, as I'm one to dissect stories that interest me, and Carter makes her writing rich with allegories and symbolism hidden within retellings of fairy tales we all know so well. Even as I'm writing a review, I'm still trying to figure out what some of them mean. It's not a collection meant for a bit of light reading, as Carter goes to great lengths to rework the familiar into something disturbing, yet truthful.

"The Snow Child" in particular was a short, yet provocative story, showing that Carter is more than willing to include a taboo or two to get a message across. Here, we see a rich man of status riding with his wife, wishing for a beautiful girl. This story, through its dreamlike atmosphere and imagery, deals with the discarding nature of the upper class, of how a man of rank can seek mistresses, young girls, when it pleases him, only to cast them aside when they have outlived their use and before they cast too much attention away from their wives.

Several of Carter's stories take on a feminist slant, dealing with themes of agency, maturity, sexual exploration, and the damaging effect of the patriarchy. The latter is an interesting one, especially as it's framed in "The Erl-King." We see a woman fall in love with a man of the woods, only to feel herself ensnared and trapped by him. She feels excited yet also terrified by his presence, which can be both intimidating and sensual. He keeps a flock of birds in cages within his hut, and the woman fears that she will become much the same. Yet, though the man treats his birds well and cares for them, they are still trapped within gilded cages. The story deals mainly in gender roles, how both men and women suffer from the patriarchy and what is typically expected of each of them.

I could go on and on about what each story means, how "The Courtship of Mr. Lyon" gives the Beauty of this Beauty and the Beast retelling a great deal of agency, predating the Disney version by a good decade, or how "Wolf-Alice" reflects the process of self-actualization and the effect of isolation in that process. I'm sure it's been the work of several dissertations in the past. But for now, I'm comfortable saying that if you're in the mood for something darker, a little more subversive, this is a collection you don't want to miss.

(4.5/5)

[arpov-blog-blog]

..."...inflation is at/near Fed target rates, some prices are falling, rents/mortgage rates/gas prices are down, the soft landing appears to be happening; crime and murder rates have come down substantially over the past year, and remain a fraction of what they were 30 years ago; we have the lowest uninsured rate ever recorded, and ACA signups this year have set records; we’ve seen record domestic oil and renewable production, making America more energy independent then we’ve been in many decades; the President has forgiven over $130b in student debt, by some measures Gen Z home ownership rates are outpacing Millennials and Gen X, years of minimum wage increases across the county has created a much higher entry level wage for young and new workers; consumer sentiment is rising, and measures of life/job/income satisfaction are at elevated levels right now; the historic investments the President has made will create opportunities for American workers for decades to come, leave America far stronger and by dramatically accelerating the energy transition from fossil fuels make it far more likely we prevent the planet from warming; polling out this week has the President with sturdy leads in MI, NH and PA, and gaining 3 points and leading now in one important national tracking poll; after a great 2022 election, Democrats just saw a blue wave in 2023, as we won elections of all kinds across the country and outperformed our 2020 results - an election we won by 4.5 pts - by an average of 5 points in almost 40 state legislative special elections.

My summary of where we are now:

Joe Biden is a good President. The country is better off. We have a very compelling case for re-election. The Democratic Party is strong, winning elections across the US and our “bench” is the most talented it’s been in many decades.

Republicans, on the other hand, are making an enormous mistake in sticking with Trump, who is far more degraded, extreme and dangerous - and further away from the electorate - than he was in 2020 when he lost by 4 and a half points. His performance on the stump is far more erratic, and he keeps making hugely consequential political mistakes (calling for a repeal of the ACA, saying he wants the economy to crash - WTF?). Donald Trump 2024 is an historically awful and terrible candidate.

Can we get to 55 and make the 2024 elections a clear repudiation of MAGA, sending a loud and important signal that America has rejected this horrible politics, and has chosen democracy and freedom over illiberalism extremism? Yes, I think making 2024 a big election, a big win, high single digits even, is something that is possible for us, and something we must be working towards every single day. For by doing so it far far more likely we can send MAGA back into the dustbin of history where it so clearly belongs."

The Republican Party has metastasized into something truly dangerous to America and the world. Bibi needs to go. Gun violence remains an outrageous imposition on our liberties. The viciousness of the assault on women’s reproductive freedom, I will admit, overwhelms me sometimes, and I wish I felt we were making more and faster progress here. Declining life expectancy here in the US is a warning about our collective health we must heed. The degradation and poisoning of our daily discourse is a far greater problem than many of us understand or will admit. I could go on.

But that’s not what we do here at Hopium. We do more, worry less. We channel our anxiety, our fear into concrete action. We postcard, canvass, call, text, donate and spread the good news about Joe Biden and the Democrats through our networks. We win elections, kick their ass, take things like the six week abortion ban in Ohio, Jacksonville, the Virginia Assembly, A Wisconsin Supreme Court seat and years of rancid gerrymandering away from them. We are proud patriots, who love our country, and are doing everything we can to make sure the remarkable world of “possibilities” that was available to us is there for our kids and grandkids. When they talk down America, we talk it up. We are Democrats."

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Fiction, Young Adult, Contemporary, Mystery

Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Content Warning: Kidnapping, Racism, Cultural appropriation, Murder, Rape, Violence, Sexual assault, Police brutality

Summary:

Perry Firekeeper-Birch was ready for her Summer of Slack but instead, after a fender bender that was entirely not her fault, she’s stuck working to pay back her Auntie Daunis for repairs to the Jeep.

Thankfully she has the other outcasts of the summer program, Team Misfit Toys, and even her twin sister Pauline. Together they ace obstacle courses, plan vigils for missing women in the community, and make sure summer doesn’t feel so lost after all.

But when she attends a meeting at a local university, Perry learns about the “Warrior Girl”, an ancestor whose bones and knife are stored in the museum archives, and everything changes. Perry has to return Warrior Girl to her tribe. Determined to help, she learns all she can about NAGPRA, the federal law that allows tribes to request the return of ancestral remains and sacred items. The university has been using legal loopholes to hold onto Warrior Girl and twelve other Anishinaabe ancestors’ remains, and Perry and the Misfits won’t let it go on any longer.

Using all of their skills and resources, the Misfits realize a heist is the only way to bring back the stolen artifacts and remains for good. But there is more to this repatriation than meets the eye as more women disappear and Pauline’s perfectionism takes a turn for the worse. As secrets and mysteries unfurl, Perry and the Misfits must fight to find a way to make things right – for the ancestors and for their community.

*Opinions*

Angeline Boulley’s first novel, Firekeeper’s Daughter, is one of my favorite novels and so this was one of my most anticipated novels of this year. I got even more excited when I found out that we were returning to Sugar Island and following Perry, one of the young twins that were such a force of good for Danius in Firekeeper’s Daughter. There is something about Boulley’s writing style that makes her characters seem alive and you root for them, even when they are making silly decisions. There is just so much love poured into Boulley’s novels that you can’t help but love them as well. 

Perry is such a lovable and believable character. While she is so smart in some ways, she also made decisions that made me scream at times, which feels really true for teenagers. While Pauline is seen as the “smart twin”, I think that Boulley does a great job of showing that intelligence doesn’t always mean book smarts and what individuals outside of the tribe believe is productive. Perry knows more about Sugar Island than a lot of the other residents and obviously cares about it, the people, the ancestors, and the skills learned from her tribe to be able to adapt and survive. Yet, she is also impulsive and hot-headed, which makes her real and frustrating at times. The one that made me so frustrated is all the times that Perry and Pauline leave the cellphones so they can’t be tracked, even though there are more and more indigenous women going missing. It makes sense for a teenage character, because what teenager doesn’t feel invincible, but as a reader I keep begging them to change their mind. 

I enjoyed Perry as a character, but I wish that the side characters were in the story a little bit more, especially Pauline. We are told a lot about her from Perry’s point of view but don’t get to see her in action all that much. It is clear that Pauline and Perry are not alike in many ways and while neither is perfect, I wish they would have interacted more. I enjoyed seeing Danius and the other characters from Firekeeper’s Daughter again, it just made me more curious about her than what was going on in this story. I wanted to know who her son’s father is if it is who we met in the first novel, and see more of her life outside of being a fierce protector all the time. It didn’t make sense as this is Perry’s story, but because there were so many call backs, I was expecting more about her. I was also surprised about how story goes in this novel. 

Warrior Girl Unearthed is also a really good dip of the toes into the fight for the repatriation of ancestors and items back to their tribes for proper burial. I knew vaguely about this issue, it comes up when stories are about other countries attempting to get their items back from museums, but had no idea how difficult it was for the tribes. As I am not part of the culture, I also didn’t understand the emotional toll and pain that not having their ancestors properly handled can be for members of the tribe. Due to the religious culture that I was raised in, bodies are not held in high regard after their death and the souls leave them, but that is obviously not the case with numerous other religions. While it is not the job of those in other cultures to teach others, I do appreciate the way that Boulley weaves so much information and heart into the tales that she shares with the world. 

While I enjoy this story and the characters, I still enjoy Firekeeper’s Daughter more. I think that plot was a little more cohesive and had a romantic subplot that was a little more prominent, even though it broke my heart. While that fit the two main characters well, Danius was focused on her goal as a secret squirrel and protecting her people and finding the truth, Perry was a little more chaotic and knew what she wanted, but now how to do it. Still, I feel as if there were maybe one too many plot points in this novel that didn’t make it bad but didn’t have the emotional hit that Firekeeper’s Daughter had for me. I can’t get into the biggest plot point I didn’t like in this novel as it is a huge spoiler, but I still don’t see why it and the subsequent arrest and acquittal was necessary, other than showing the strength of the women in this community. 

This is such a good and emotional story, but there were some stumbling blocks that kept it from being a five-star. That being said, it is a four and a half that I am rounding up to a five and I think that everyone should read it.

[cr0bat]

It's kind of silly, but I'd like to retreat back to tumblr.

I have been doing the full-time school, full-time job, full-time pregnant lady with two kids already thing for over a month now, and so I have been kind of stuck with my thoughts for a while.

This isn't to say I have any regrets. I know that a year from now, I will be thankful for the current grueling nature of what I'm going through presently.

A year from now, I'll only have a half year of school left. I'll have a 9 month old,(it gets much easier at 9 months.) a 2.5 year old and a 4.5 year old. I'll be almost 30. And hopefully, I'll have a few of my other short-term goals realized: a bigger garden, and the tenacity to have kept up with it all and be used to juggling it all.

That being said, there are things I think I need to change to get there. The current dialogue about "reasons why teachers are quitting and students are failing" is emphasizing the lacking in current parenting. People are pointing out that children are not being spoken to, that parents are too distracted as a result of the increased demand since the cost of living is a bit too much. As I think about this, I find myself not disagreeing with anything being pointed out.

In addition - I also watched a TikTok today about a mom reflecting upon her "annoyed" tone with her 4 year old in comparison to her 2 year old... and I can guiltily relate.

That being said, here are some changes I'd like to implement in between now and that not-so-distant future:

Less screen time. Exhaustion is not an excuse. This is mainly for me, but for kids, too. We already do a good job of not letting our kids on screens outside of downtime at home after school. And I already read books before bed, but I'd like to do more hands-on activities in our downtime nonetheless.

More outside time. I have felt so much joy from the little garden I grew this year. Getting a fence around the yard was also an upgrade that helped playtime become much safer and easier since we live on such a busy road. Not to mention, I'd like to be able to let the dog get fresh air more often.

Journaling. For real. I love it. Even the little madness I type here. It's something. It makes me feel less inclined to talk someone's ear off. Even if I only type it, and don't necessarily use my pen - though I do love using my pen - it would help me mentally.

Eating more greens and drink more water. I am craving veggies so bad. And I don't think it's the pregnancy, I think it's just me. This goes hand in hand with having a garden. The water one is self-explanatory.

Going through what I have instead of acquiring more. Sorting pictures, actually using art supplies, cleaning my areas and putting decorations on the walls. Reading books instead of buying them. Photo albums are a must now that I'm taking pictures of my kids faster than I can manage.

Investing in meaningful friendships. This is the topic that has made my brain whir the most recently. I'm realizing that I'm allowing people in my life to take up very complacent roles as friends when I have so many people who reach out and I don't give them the chance to be in my life. No more people who don't value what I do. My family and job are important. I am constantly pursuing growth. People who can't relate... I have a hard time with them, and I shouldn't try to get them to see the world the way I do. I should let them remain stagnant in their own. And not lose sleep over it. People who allow for me to be inconvenienced and put down, people who benefit at my expense... I don't really wish to be around that anymore. And I need to play an active role in removing those influences from my life.

Anyway, all this to say, I am hoping to have a productive Saturn Return. It started with me dying my hair red and returning to school, becoming pregnant and having a realization about the relationships in my life that do not serve me and my family. I hope we can continue to grow and I can become a better parent, a better person to those around me and better human overall.

I hope I can convince myself I have more to offer the world than just my time and effort, and I hope I can someday feel that I am deserving of the blessings I have gained along the way, that I have earned such a wholesome and loving partner and that the air I breathe is not wasted.

Hello again, tumblr.

[tutoroot]

What is the most effective online personalised tuition for NEET aspirants?

The Armed Forces Medical College (AFMC) is a premier training institution operated by the Indian Armed Forces and is located in Pune. It is one of the leading medical schools that is held in high regard for its high standards, imparting training to undergraduate, postgraduate, dental, nursing and paramedical categories. The specialists and super specialists hailing from AFMC serve Indian Armed Forces.

Being prestigious, with a marquee history and a distinct legacy of association with the defence forces of the country, AFMC has always been among the most sought-after medical schools for aspirants to get admission. In this regard, let us throw light on various admission, eligibility, qualification, and preparation-related aspects of the AFMC MBBS Entrance Examination.

The admission and eligibility components for AFMC are exclusive and singular and go beyond conventional eligibility through marks in the NEET examination. So why is AFMC so important in terms of qualification?

Because admission into AFMC requires aspirants to score appreciably in NEET, with the cutoff being 551 marks. The competition is so tough that one often witnesses batchmates scoring 590 as an average minimum.

Besides scoring, the wellness of aspirants forms a vital factor for admission. Often, candidates are rejected on health grounds. This is obvious considering that most of those admitted to AFMC serve armed forces in stringent conditions.

Behold your vision! Yes, healthy eyesight is important. The weaker the vision, the slimmer the chances of qualification.

The AFMC interview is an acid test in itself, and being attentive, sincere, and sharp make huge difference.

AFMC MBBS course details

AFMC MBBS is a 4.5 years programme where medical cadets are mandated to undergo rigorous internships in selected hospitals recognized by National Medical Commission (NMC)

What are the general criteria for admission into AFMC MBBS Course?

At the outset, you should be an Indian citizen. Foreign nationals can also apply based on their receiving of Indian citizenship.

Unmarried candidates are only eligible for admission. Matrimonial status cannot be allowed during the programme.

Medical fitness is important for qualification.

What is the age criterion?

A minimum of 17 years and a maximum of 24 years as per the notification. Please check the notification and admission dates to ascertain the exact eligibility

Academic eligibility for AFMC qualification

First-attempt passing of the qualifying exam, as a regular candidate where English, Physics, Chemistry, and Biology are the subjects

Should have secured at least 60% aggregate in three science subjects, and must have scored not less than 50% marks in English and 50% marks in every science subject. Additionally, should qualify Class X Mathematics examination.

AFMC Selection

Selection is predominantly based on the merit list that is based on the candidates’ performance in NEET UG, ToELR Written Test, and interview

AFMC number of seats

A total of 150 that includes 115 men, 30 women, and five foreign nationals

Authorities who manage admissions to AFMC

AFMC is the sole institution that releases the NEET cutoff

The Director General of Health Services (DGHS) releases the merit list and organizes the counselling procedure

At Tutoroot, we are known for offering impacting training for NEET aspirants through online mode and with the convenience of taking the programme at your own pace and place. Tutoroot prepares the candidates in a holistic fashion, with a focus on not just the subject matter, but the crucial aspect of how to attempt the exam, how to prepare effectively, techniques for giving the best shot, and more.

With mock exams and model question papers, special sessions on trends and changing dynamics of the NEET exam, our expert faculty offers the most ideal one-to-one tutoring for NEET aspirants. So, if you wish to crack AFMC and serve the Indian armed forces with pride and content, enroll in Tutoroot NEET online tuitions, today.

[echoesofbooks]

Brooke -- Ronie Kendig

Releasing February 6th, 2023! It can be purchased here

Prioritizing career over family cost Brooke Metcalfe Mulroney everything—her relationship with her siblings, her marriage, her children. Written off by her family, she delves deeper into her work. Until a life-altering moment offers a chance at something she didn’t know she wanted—redemption. But her self-centered ways nip at her heels as she goes on the lam to do what she knows is right.

Former Special Forces operator and founder of MiLE, Cord Taggart wages war on human trafficking by taking the violence to the wicked, determined to never again let an innocent die because he did nothing. But maybe he’s bitten off more than he can chew this time as he works to track down New York City high-powered attorney Brooke Metcalfe, who is MIA. Then there’s her brothers who have threatened to chase him into the afterlife should he fail.

Tricky are the hours as Cord negotiates many battles: freeing the captives, demolishing the Trench that has made millions off the skin-trade industry, and his growing, deep-rooted feelings for the bombshell in her highfalutin tower. Brooke must put her life—and heart—in the hands of the thick-skulled operator.

4.5 Stars!!

Holy crap!! Okay, so prefacing this with 2 things: a)If you haven't read the previous Metcalfe books ( Stone , Willow and Range ), it's probably best that you do that first. Or just be aware that there's parts you might miss. And b)This book is hard. It's tough. It shows the dirty world of trafficking and doesn't pull a single punch. But don't let that get you down. This book does show that there are people who are looking for those victims. It shows that there is hope.

Now that we've got that little disclaimer out of the way...

Brooke has been present in the previous books but she's been very cagey and clearly hiding something as she runs away from Cord, but you never quite got the full picture of who she was/what she was doing (I mean, it makes sense since this was her book and everything but she definitely peaked my interest in the last books). I will admit to rolling my eyes just a bit when she admitted to herself that she was probably in over her head and needed help yet still refused to reach out to Cord. I could have maybe understood not reaching out to her brother's because the situation was the slightest bit complicated. But she ended up reaching out to him anyway (even if she actively tried to stop it at first) and he did come after her, so it kind of worked out. I did wish there'd been a little more on her past/the broken relationship with her ex and her kids. Like, she told Cord how things happened/why she ended up divorced but towards the end, it seemed like she was wanting to reach out but we never got to see whether she did or not. Little thing, but I feel like I could have used a little bit of a wrap-up/closure on that aspect of things.

I've kind of loved Cord from the beginning. He was able to give as good as he got when it came to all the snark and sass that came his way and it was clear that he cared about Brooke, even if he was trying to ignore (not that he tried all that hard) his interest in her. I did want someone to throttle him for his assumptions when it was revealed that Mazin and the kids were living with her. Yeah, things were half setup to point that direction but all he had to go on were pictures on a fridge and Ishwin's comments. Yet everyone jumped to "I can't believe they're sleeping together" without bothering to consider what else could be going on. Again acknowledging that there was a ton of evidence that pointed one way, I just...I feel like even before they saw all of the evidence, everyone was half condemning Brooke.

I did wish there'd been a little bit on the reunions of people. Like, we didn't need to see all the kids getting reunited, but it would have been nice to see Willow and Chiji reunited with Ginika and Adesina. Or Mazin meeting back up with Jehan and Caliyah. It kind of felt like that part got shoved to the back in order to get to Brooke and Cord's HEA. Little thing, but I did wish we'd gotten to see it.

[fingfamily-blog-blog]

Family Vacation on Flores

In the first semester, I averaged just under 2 blog posts per week. Then I took a month-long vacation through Java and Flores islands, and only posted once. And this is set to be my first post for the second semester. But am I running out of interest, of things to discuss? I took this up because everything was new and might be provocative for a writer. But, as I begin the (longer) second half of this professionally unsatisfying experience, I wonder what more I can convey, other than sitting around my house, wondering how much booze I should consume. But, first, the month-long journey was fabulous. It was so nice to be with my wife again after 4.5 months apart. In 30+ years together, 3 weeks was the longest we'd been apart, on a couple of occasions. WhatsApp technology has allowed us to see each other and talk regularly, but still, it's quite a honeymoon to reunite after 4.5 months apart. I had wondered if we might take up some of the negative themes of our "normal" life, when we spend 20+ hours of every single day together. But it didn't happen. I think whatever agitation we might have felt (which everyone does in weeks of travel) was dissipated by the previous months of missing each other. Nary a negative thought, let alone snarky words or attitudes. We also had our son with us, and he was the conduit for whatever snark we ended up dealing with. He's a seasoned traveller, but jet-lag was an issue at first, and generally we had to wake him up earlier than he wanted, so it was occasionally rough getting him to civility. But, again, understanding that touring like that is hard, I think we all gave each other space to be cranky. And we enjoy travel and new food, new things... That being said, Java was a disappointment for all of us. We spent more time in Jakarta than we needed to (expecting jet-lag to be an issue). Yogyakarta was nicer (more culture), but even that was noisy and crowded and dirty. We spent two nights in Solo, and, except for a visit to a fantastic batik museum and store, we wished we'd never gone there at all. On the eastern side of Java, Batu was a fine stop. Batu is higher altitude and more comfortable air, more natural things, waterfalls, vistas. And our son is a farmer, so the agriculture there was of interest. We only spent two nights at my home in Malang. We should have done more than that, but we didn't know how grungy and dull Java would be. I know now! We went to Mt. Bromo, and the excruciating journey was made unbearable because of fog. We saw nothing, a great let-down. Still, compared to all the other places we visited in Java, Malang looks almost charming. So, I have a new-found appreciation for the town I was more-or-less randomly placed in. I could have been in much worse circumstances. The second half of our trip was spent in a much happier, more relaxed place, Flores island. Our tour started in the east and we moved west through some quite remote places, seeing waterfalls, crater lakes, beaches, mountains, volcanos, tropical islands... We went snorkeling, saw wild animals, ate and slept more locally. We were just more comfortable and pleased with our surroundings and experiences. Flores has vanilla, cashews, cacao, coffee, all kinds of fruits. For our farmer, it was so much more compelling. And his happiness made us happier. On Java, to our surprise, our foreignness drew unwanted attention, with people approaching us just to take pictures, or to practice their English. Sometimes this was fine, but other times it was a challenge not to be rude. On Flores, this was less of a problem. And we finished our time there, with 5 nights in Labuan Bajo, one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. Oh, it's still pretty grungy and unequally developed, with trash everywhere, but the sea, the breezes, the islands, the coral reefs, the hillsides, and the sunsets, my heart was stolen. It appears as if the Indonesian government is investing heavily in developing tourism there, so soon there are likely to be too many tourists, too much traffic, and all kinds of soulless touts roaming the streets. But for our short week, it was a wonderful way to end 4 weeks of wandering. We did two more nights in Surabaya, the second-city of Java, before we said goodbye to each other. It was an unwelcome return to the grossness of Java, but there are charms in the Old Town, the Chinatown and the Arab Quarter. It was not pleasant to say goodbye. It made me feel like I was going back into custody. But I have fond memories and many pics to remind me that it did happen and was a refreshing interlude during an otherwise difficult slog. My second semester has started with one class all my own, and nothing of any other consequence in my schedule. That means, three hours of class per week, plus prep and grading. I will have even more free-time than the first semester, when I tried to ingratiate myself and make things work. Now, I know that I am truly not wanted or needed and I have no trouble accepting that. The trouble is finding ways to spend my time. I'm making plans with my brother and a friend to come in March for a few weeks. And I'm also planning time in June/July with our elder son. And planning is fun! There is so much more to Indonesia than my little experience here in Malang. I will take long weekend trips, both locally and further afield. Next week, I go to Bangkok for my program's mid-year meetings. So the time will pass, and then I'll be back in the States, wondering whether I want to go back into the Academic Writing classroom to compete with AI Chatbots. Welcome to 2023!

[ladyinrainbowglasses]

Rambling my political philosophy in downtime

Well, even though no one follows yet, I need to do something to keep my brain from exploding.  In practical terms, the reason almost all revolutions fail is because they had no precise guiding plans for if the revolution succeeds. Human nature is “Let’s get the big step done first!”. Except, a functional system of government is WAY harder to plan than the toppling of a country. Heaven knows we have plenty of ways of toppling governments and many of them actually work pretty quickly. But then what? Well, having little political power, but lots of downtime to reflect on civic problems, here are some of my platform planks for in-current-system revolution: 1. A 90% marginal tax rate for double incomes of over $4.5 million per annum, or single incomes of over $2.25 million per annum. This would be, roughly, the same tax policy as Eisenhower. Taxes are the subscription fees to a society, and like any service, the more you want, the higher the price. Those who earn below the median salary, or $50,000 singly per annum, will have a capped 5% per annum flat tax, with those making less than $25,000 a year paying nothing. Deductions will be limited to Business Expense, Provision of Care (child, elderly, disabled, etc.), Charitable Donations of Under $100,000 (to try to avoid the “foundation” loophole), Education or Training, and other Tax Burdens. The foremost goal should be the simplification of the taxation system, with the average citizen being sent their estimate from the IRS each year, then choosing if they wish to quibble with the number by checking if they are eligible for any deductions that were missed.  2. Nationalized healthcare, to supplant the current government healthcare provisions in waves:     A) Wave One, the rollout of national healthcare will begin with those who are already reliant on government healthcare and those who make below $25,000 per annum. The cost of job replacement for all of the adjustors who are currently hard at work denying sick people help will be helped in part by the new taxes.     B) Wave Two, as the adjustors are re-settled, then the rollout will continue to cover all households with at least one occupant under the age of 18, or a pregnant occupant, to radically reduce both the child, infant, and maternal mortality rates in America, as well as coverage of all households that pay the 5% tax.     C) Wave three, continue to expand coverage to each household, regardless of income level. This is based in the understanding that now 40% of American deaths are preventable with care. 3. The budget will not balance itself out of kindness, nor will it balance from being penny wise and pound foolish. All elected officials being paid from taxes will immediately take a pay cut to match the minimum wage in their state. A housing stipend will be made available to those who must travel - perhaps an older hotel in Washington D.C. can be purchased and turned into Congressional barracks. Elected officials may earn bonuses by authoring and signing legislation that benefits either their constituents, the country, the planet, or humanity, as determined by a panel of experts. “Give me $300,000,000 to build outdated weapons of war at the factory in my state” is not a benefit and is ineligible for a bonus. 4. A Constitutional Amendment requiring that all elected officials must be able to pass a Civics and American history test, written at the 5th grade level. To ensure lack of bias, the test will focus on Yes/No, True/False answers. The questions to these tests shall be sourced from every public education institute which provides a 5th grade education, then collated into civil service exams by the Department of Education in cooperation with the National Archives. These tests will be administered under accessibility guidelines - they may be presented in the speaker’s first language, read aloud to them, signed to them, taken in Braille, taken verbally, or taken under any circumstance that would fall under the reasonable purview of “accessible”. If you fail, you may retake the test, up to three times in a given election cycle, with the understanding that no two copies of the test are alike. Those who are unable to pass a 5th grade level Civics test within three tries in one election cycle are barred from running until the next election cycle. This may not be applied to voters under any circumstances, ONLY TO PRIVATE CITIZENS SEEKING ELECTION OR ELECTED OFFICIALS WHO HAVE NOT PREVIOUSLY PASSED A CIVICS TEST.  The eventual goal of this, of course, is to create a bureaucracy staffed exclusively by people who know what they are doing, with the standard difficulty of the tests hopefully being raised as the program progresses, as well as tests that focus less on basic civics, and more on finding civil servants to install in positions they already have familiarity with. 5. Universal Basic Income. This is a longer term goal, with the understanding that the basic human urge is to be productive and sociable. When given the offer of money to stay home, the majority of abled people and a significant portion of disabled people will not stop being productive. Studies indicate that they will be more productive, as well as dropping medical costs, lowering the mortality rate, and saving huge amounts of money in welfare and welfare infrastructure costs. 6. All American citizens deserve to be on the second level of Maslow’s hierarchy at the bare minimum. This is non-negotiable. They deserve it because they are human beings. If America wishes to be the “shining city on a hill”, then that must be achieved by becoming a beacon of human rights and human potential. While understanding that “American exceptionalism” is propaganda, the American urge towards exceptionalism must be guided into productive outlets. This includes universal housing, basic food and water security, a guarantee of a minimum of 30 days paid time off for rest, and a guarantee of paid sick days. 7. All treaties made with First Nations tribes shall be re-opened and re-examined. Whatever conditions may be fulfilled must be fulfilled as quickly as possible. Every tribe is entitled to a Congressional delegation.  8. With all due respect to every religious faith in the United States, the legislating of personal morality is personal. No act may be criminalized due solely to it being in contrast with a particular person’s religious convictions - eminent harm must be presented to legal experts before an act may be criminalized. Acts which cause no eminent harm to any person besides the person taking the action are immediately decriminalized and all people convicted of non-violent offenses shall have their records immediately opened and evaluated. For all damage of property below $500,000, the defendant may either pay or may be sentenced to community service, preferably community service in cleaning. All fines beyond direct reimbursement of property loss shall be scaled to a person’s income, lest laws become mere suggestions for the rich. 9. All ambassadors are legally culpable for crimes committed on US territory. Diplomatic immunity should not cover parking fines and traffic stops, nor should it cover crimes of assault. All UN countries with outstanding fees to the City of New York or to the District of Columbia will pay these fees, with the money being directed towards better public transit.  10. With the understanding that the United States is an unusually large and unusually inhabited country (as most countries of similar size have more clustered habitation zones), public transit and infrastructure are among the top priorities. The rail system must be updated. Each city with a minimum population of 2,500 humans must operate at least one free-at-point-of-service public transit system, which must cover, at minimum, grocery store access, public library access, local school access, and post office access. Perhaps we can train all those unemployed insurance adjustors as bus or streetcar drivers. If a town feels they are too small to support a public transit service, they may hold a vote to be submitted to the Department of Transportation, asking that their federal funding for building a public transit system instead be invested in other transportation infrastructure, such as the building of new sidewalks or bike lanes.  11. Understanding both the seriousness of the climate emergency and the mental health crises caused by lack of access to green space, the National Parks Department will receive extra funding with the goal of increasing park and garden space within urban and suburban areas. We hope to create a partnership between the Parks and Education Departments, so that all public schools may have an on-site garden. All school children must have a legally required break of one hour, the same as any 8-hour employee. All children must have a minimum of 30 minutes of eating time and 30 minutes of time for play, preferably outdoor play. School children will not be legally required to work in school gardens, but just as we encouraged our children of the 40′s to grow Victory Gardens that poured fresh produce into their lunchrooms, modern children are understood as likely to be just as enthusiastic. A gardener in the employ of the Parks Department should become a fixture of public schools.  12. Understanding that a nation does not exist without its children, the welfare of children and youths is to be understood as a moral and financial imperative. If we do not have the money to make sure that every child in America is fed, watered, sheltered, rested, and properly educated, we have failed as a country. Money may be redirected from programs meant to wage war or manufacture weapons. Who would realistically want to attack a nation where everyone is learning and not pestering anyone? 

[greaterbalrogcat]

aye that's GREAT to hear let me tell you about why dasli (dark kasli/kasli the bane/kasli daughter of chaos) is better

so dasli's the best uber in the game. we know this. let's talk about why

first off: the obvious. the only thing people thought dasli really had on release cuz they were blind and could not see dps with surge. her curse.

it's 100% curse for 4.5 seconds vs all traits (including traitless). this, of course, was the first epicfest uber to not target traitless exclusively, and paved the way for dphono's bullshit which we can talk about later if you wish. without getting too deep into surge anatomy (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qhYUwA5SoFtMAcMgpyvmvZxtCnWqlsjsYcj2kuS5L8k/edit if you DO want to get too deep into surge anatomy), surges hit 125 in front of the spawnpoint and 250 behind. dasli surge spawnpoint is anywhere between 400 and 700. therefore, she will guaranteed permacurse between 450 range and 525 range, which is approximately in the middle of her LD (long distance). she has a solid chance of hitting 275-400, 400-450, and 525-675, all of which are within her LD but aren't guaranteed damage (which is kinda weird because her standing range is 400, her surge is only guaranteed to hit 50-125 range in front of her standing range lmao), and she can also sometimes hit 150-275 and 675-825 with surge, although she can't hit those areas with her initial LD hit. this isn't just important for her curse, this is basically the entire point of the unit. we'll talk about how this affects DPS later.

so yeah, she's gonna consistently permacurse pretty much everything she can either: 1. outrange (400 standing range is pretty high) or 2. use a stepping stone on (use a peon for that 275 piercing range to hit a backliner) most SoL stages are gonna have consistent enough peons for you to permacurse backliners. a lot of earlier UL stages are also gonna work for that purpose. later UL and ZL feature more fucked up enemy combinations and enemies with crazy stats than backliners who are gonna CC your units. can dasli deal with those stats?

spoiler alert: yeah lmao

i will show both level 30 and level 60 stats to show how insane this unit is even without boost. at level 30, dasli has 78200 health with five knockbacks. this is 15640 endurance per knockback, which is almost the same as a level 20 manic eraser (15720). at level 60, dasli has 147200 health, which is 29440 endurance. this is more endurance than a level 50 manic eraser (25545). for comparison, this is 10k more health than daliasan at level 30 (20k more when both are at level 60), 30k more health than phono at level 30 (60k more at 60), 20k more health than dphono at level 30 (40k more at 60), and more health than anyone really needs. at level 60, she could tank an unstrengthened balrog hit.

DPS TIME WOOOOOO

this is what her dps looks like if you want to be technical about it. this is from the surge anatomy document if you want to go finish that cuz i know you got bored.

without any technicalities, her level 30 dps when taking surge into account is eleven thousand. seven hundred. and twenty-four. (point twelve)

for context, if you put 25 uber catseyes and 15 dark catseyes on divine kuu, then spend 400 NP on her attack up and attack frequency up talents, she would have 20905.02 DPS when not against red or black enemies. that's an insane investment to not even DOUBLE dasli's level 30 DPS.

what about level 60?

22069 DPS. better generalist DPS than an uber you have to dump weeks if not months of work into, and she has good LD pierce and surge and you need to spend another 175 NP to get kuu's health to be better than hers.

dasli is so broken that PONOS introduced behemoths to counter her, then that didn't work and she was still broken, so they introduced counter-surge to literally counter her, and then that STILL didn't work and building your lineup around full surge immunity so you can use dasli on counter-surge stages is unironically a viable strat, and then they made an epicfest version of easily the best uberfest exclusive in the game, and it was still worse than dasli. they made curse and surge to counter mitama, and those two things had to become so incredibly pervasive in the meta to take mitama down a notch that they gave dasli her use. for dasli to lose her crown, there would have to be an uber so bullshit that it would ruin the balance of the game even more, which is what they said about mitama, and mitama is still a top 10 uber.

tl;dr: dasli is the best uber in the game, and it's not even close.

balrog level 60 base damage per hit is 144000, and damage per second is 63529.41

balrog has attack up talents for +20% damage and strengthen by 200% at 33% health (last knockback)

this is 518400 damage per hit and 228705.876 damage per second on last knockback at level 60 with full talents

this unit can be deployed every 28.2 seconds and costs 2250 (3000 without cost down talent)

for context, a single level 60 full talents balrog strengthened hit is a fifth of a level 60 lasvoss strengthened savage blow vs a colossus enemy

it can kill zero luza in 10 hits

even if it can't tank a zero luza hit with its 149760 health, you can add a defense up sm and it will indeed tank a hit (on one star when luza isn't strengthened), or it can get procced from the peons

balrog's fucking broken (dasli better tho)

[wolferine]

Our Secret

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Part 5 of “Jeff the Land Shark”

Summary: Natasha and Jeff finally find something to bond over.

Word Count: 1611

Request from anon: why do i feel like after the interview, jeff will felt like he was able to break natasha’s walls down on him and he follows her around the next few days (y’know like how baby ducks following their mother) and then reader teases nat about it and idk anymore HAHAHA i just want more jeff and nat moments 

(i mean if it’s cool with u, can we see this kind of situation in ur future jeff fics 👉🏻👈🏻) 

Part 4.5

AN: Semi-requested because I already had this idea brewing and decided to throw anon’s request in there at the same time. 

This has been sitting in my inbox since last year, lol. Better late than never!

(Picture from “It’s Jeff!” #2, by Thompson, Gurihiru)

You and Natasha barge back into your bedroom, greeted by a happy Jeff the land shark. He wags his tail and “mrrrs” in delight at your return, having been left to his own devices all day while you two were out on a mission. But sadly for him, both of you are too exhausted and don’t give him the attention he wants while you prepare for bed.

Usually after a mission, you sit with Jeff for an hour and give him a play-by-play of everything that happened, but tonight, as you’re waiting for your turn in the shower, you’re ready to fall asleep. Jeff butts your leg with his head in frustration, eager for story time, but soon gives up when he sees you’re more interested in sleeping than talking to him.

He runs back to his bed in the corner of the room, burrowing under his blanket and glaring at you grumpily. Ever since you and Natasha had left him early that the morning, he had sulked around the Tower waiting impatiently for you two to return.

Thor had volunteered to watch Jeff, but there were only so many rounds of hide and seek using Mjölnir the god of thunder could handle before he went to hide in his room and leave the land shark to entertain himself. Jeff then sought out Clint’s company, who kept him occupied by letting him FaceTime with his children, but the children couldn’t quite understand him the way you did.

Nothing compared to you and Natasha, and Jeff is heartbroken that you’re ignoring him—even with a good reason.

You and Natasha swap places in the bathroom, and she pats Jeff on the head before going to lie in bed. He smiles widely at the simple show of affection, his tail thumping against the wall, especially because Natasha was never as close to him as you are.

Finally, you finish in the bathroom and come out in your pajamas, stopping by Jeff’s bed to pet him and whisper a goodnight, for which he immediately forgives you for skipping his bedtime story.

You join Natasha in bed, covering both of you with the blanket. The second your head hits the pillow, you fall asleep. Natasha pushes away from you jealously, staring at the ceiling and wishing she could turn off her mind.

The mission had involved rescuing victims of human trafficking, reminding her of her own time in the Red Room. The flashbacks attacked her in waves as she tosses and turns in bed, struggling to find a moment of peace.

Meanwhile, Jeff stirs awake when he hears the rustling of the blankets. He blinks sleepily and sees Natasha sitting on the edge of the bed, sighing and holding her head in her hands. Immediately concerned, he wobbles to his feet, stumbling over and rubbing his head against her leg.

Natasha startles to see the land shark suddenly sitting next to her. “Why are you awake?” she hisses.

“Mrr,” Jeff says.

“I don’t know what that means.” Natasha resents that she can’t understand Jeff the same way you can.

“Mrr,” Jeff repeats, tugging at the hem of her pajamas and trotting over to the door, clawing at it noisily.

“Don’t wake Y/N!” she whispers.

But Jeff scratches harder and whimpers.

“Okay, okay!” Natasha gets up, crossing the room to open the door and pushing the little land shark into the hall with her foot. Jeff takes a few steps forward, turning to look at her over his shoulder and barking.

“Now what?” Natasha growls 

“Mrr!” Jeff tosses his head in a motion that would suggest she follow him. Since she can’t sleep anyway, Natasha decides to go after him. Jeff leads her out into the living room and hops onto the couch, thumping his tail impatiently on the cushion.

“What are you doing?” Natasha huffs, throwing herself down next to him. Jeff places a paw on her knee and stares at her expectantly. “What? What do you want now?”

“Mrr,” is all he says.

“You know, every time you say something to me, it always sounds exactly the same,” Natasha dismisses, cranky from the lack of sleep and Jeff’s antics. “I don’t even know why I came out here with you. I just got back from the worst mission ever and—” 

“Mrrrr!” Jeff interrupts.

Natasha squints at him. “The worst mission ever,” she repeats, and Jeff nods frantically. “The mission? What about the mission?”

Then it dawns on her.

“Did you…Did you want to hear about the mission?” Natasha asks, and Jeff’s mouth widens in his trademark goofy smile. “Oh. Y/N didn’t tell you about it?” Jeff shakes his head.

It feels wrong and strange, sitting here at almost three in the morning and having a full conversation with a land shark, but Natasha is too tired to care.

“Hmm, well I guess I can give it a shot. Try not to fall asleep on me, all right?”

Jeff sits up straighter, watching her with rapt attention.

“So, the actual mission itself went fine. We got everyone out and safe, but it just reminded me of…” As Natasha talks, she finds herself unexpectedly comfortable airing out her troubles to Jeff. He stares at her with dark, curious eyes, and she senses no judgment from him. Eventually, she lets him climb into her lap and pets his head softly as she finishes her story.

Jeff doesn’t fall asleep himself until Natasha’s hand stills on his head.

***********************************************************************

A few hours later, Natasha is woken by the stirring in her lap. She opens her eyes, finding Jeff propped up against her chest. 

“Huh?” she says, checking her watch. It’s almost 5:00 a.m.

Jeff jumps off her lap and heads back to the bedroom. Even in her sleepy state, Natasha realizes that Steve will be up soon, always priding himself on being the first Avenger to wake, and Jeff doesn’t want them to be seen. She gratefully gets up and goes after the land shark.

Jeff returns to his little bed in the corner, while Natasha crawls under the covers with you. You snore sleepily when you feel the mattress shift, but don’t fully wake up.

***********************************************************************

For the next few nights, Natasha and Jeff wait for you to fall asleep before going out to the living room for bonding. Sometimes, Natasha will just talk about her day, sometimes she’ll whip a snack for the two of them (luckily, Jeff has an iron stomach and will eat anything), or sometimes they’ll just sit together and watch Netflix. Jeff is over the moon that Natasha is willing to spend more time with him, having felt that she never really liked him as much as you did.  

Naturally, you have no idea what’s going between the two, although you do notice Natasha acting much kinder to Jeff. You see her sneak him scraps of her meals and hear her talking to him through the walls. When you’re training in the gym one day, Natasha comes in, Jeff trailing behind her like a baby duckling following its mother. You’re not jealous at all, only happy that the two finally seem to be getting along.

One night, you’re violently woken up by something heavy bouncing on you. You startle awake, finding the little land shark prodding at your legs. Even in the dark, you can see his wide, fear-filled eyes.

“Mrrrrr!” Jeff cries, nudging you harder.

“Jeff! What’s wrong?” you ask, sitting up and opening your arms so you can hold him. But Jeff ignores you, going over to Natasha and nudging her in the same manner. She is cocooned tightly in the blankets, muttering incomprehensibly, her forehead shiny with sweat.

“Nat? Nat!” you say, shaking her shoulder.

“Please—Please, no—!” she cries, twisting away from your touch.

“It’s just me! It’s me and Jeff!” 

Natasha sits up so suddenly, Jeff goes flying off the bed. She’s panting like she’s just run a marathon and pushes away from you.

“Hey, hey, it’s just me,” you say, moving to give her space.

“Where…Where am I?”

“We’re at the Tower. You’re safe. It’s okay.”

“Oh, God,” Natasha mutters, hiding her face in her hands, her whole body racking with sobs. “I thought I was…back in the Red Room…”

“You’re not. It’s okay. It’s okay.” You want to hold her in a hug, but know that she needs some space first. Instead, you find her hand and squeeze it in yours tightly.

Jeff, unruffled from his unexpected flight, comes back to the bed. He climbs up and you don’t stop him as he wiggles his way between you and Natasha, plopping down on her lap. Natasha immediately starts to pet him, which seems to calm her quicker than you ever could.

“He knew you were having a nightmare,” you say. “He just wants to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay, Jeff,” Natasha says. “Thank you.”

“Mrrrr!”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been getting up at night when I can’t sleep, and Jeff joins me,” she explains. “Sometimes I’ll just talk to him about missions and stuff, or we’ll eat or watch TV.”

You’re unbothered in the least that she was keeping this from you.

“Thank you for taking care of Nat when I couldn’t,” you whisper to Jeff, and he tilts his head back to smile at you.

“He’s a wonderful little guy,” Natasha says.

“Mrr!” Jeff interjects.

Both of you laugh.

“Oh, he knows,” you say.

As you and Natasha lie back down, she makes no effort to move Jeff out of the bed. He seems to know tonight is special and curls up between you two, falling asleep with his parents.

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AN: Jeff deserves the world. 🥺 Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

Thanks for reading, and until next time...

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Let Me Love You (Jeong Yunho and Song Mingi)

Pairing: Jeong Yunho × Plus sized! Reader (Female) × Song Mingi

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Summary: After finding out their girlfriend has been feeling insecure about her body, Mingi and Yunho take matters into their own hands to remind her that she is beautiful.

Word Count: 4.5+K

Warnings: Body insecurities (remember you are beautiful just the way you are), poly relationship, oral (female receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms (female receiving), unprotected sex (always use protection). (This was utter trash)

Taglist: @little-precious-baby @multidreams-and-desires @galaxteez @yunhofingers @yunhoiseyecandy @brie02 @deja-vux @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @a-soft-hornytiny @nanamarkie @minhyukmyluv @yunsangoveryonder

Special requested by @monbaebes

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Watching her favorite boys play around on the seashore, Y/N chuckled softly as she returned her gaze on the fruit in front of her. Picking up a small knife, she carefully began peeling some of the mangoes, apples and other of the juicy produce they had brought with them. Meanwhile she focused on making sure they had something to replenish their energy with, one of her lovers was concentrated on building a rather complicated architecture with the sand under his feet. Slowly but surely, the castle was beginning to take form and the man couldn't be much happier or pleased than seeing his masterpiece come to life.

"Mingi, think fast!" The other tall male shouted as he tossed the beach ball he was holding in the other's direction.

Mingi's naturally small eyes widened significantly as he witnessed his creation crumble down due to the impact of the beach ball colliding on top of it.

"Oops! Sorry bud!" The culprit grimaced as he saw the result of his little trick.

Immediately standing up, Mingi began chasing after his friend.

"I'm going to kill you Yunho!" He threatened, Yunho running and taking cover behind the oblivious girl who saw nothing that took place.

"What in the world?" She looked back and forth between the two guys.

Pointing an accusatory finger at him, Mingi let out a huff.

"He destroyed my sand castle that I was working so hard on!" He exclaimed.

"I didn't mean to." Yunho defended himself.

Not wanting them to get into a silly fight during their vacation, Y/N began to calm them both down.

"Come on you guys, you're making a scene over things kids would argue over. Seriously, this is why we hardly go out."

Hearing her displeased tone, the boys quickly straightened up their act and decided to just let it go. Seeing the delicious fruit in front of them, the young men sat at opposite sides of Y/N and dug into the food. She was grateful she opted for packing plenty of fruit given how much her boyfriends ate. She sometimes wondered if it was because they were so tall or because their stomachs were a bottomless pit. She decided a long time ago that it was probably a combination of the two.

As they enjoyed their snacks while enjoying the view in front of them, Y/N's wandering eyes soon locked themselves on the two women sitting not far from them. Although she wanted to look away before any negative thoughts clouded her mind, she couldn't help but admire their long, slim legs, their small waists and flat tummies. She envied their shape that they confidently showed off in their revealing and sensual bikinis, making more than a few heads turn in their direction to rake their eyes on their glamorous bodies. And there she was, feeling too big in her cami top and shorts.

Looking away with eyes falling on the strawberry she was holding, Y/N suddenly felt an uneasy feeling in her stomach. Losing her appetite, she tossed the fruit back in the container and just sat back, unable to hide her uncomfortable face which Yunho noticed right away.

"Honey, is something wrong? Do you not feel well?" He asked which immediately sparked the attention of the other male.

Although she didn't feel well indeed, Y/N didn't want to cause any alarm or have them fret over her behavior and decided to make up an excuse.

"I guess maybe I'm just exhausted after spending so much time out in the sun. I think I'm just going to go back to the hotel room. You guys stay here if you want."

Plastering on a reassuring smile, she gave them no chance to argue or say anything else as she quickly got off the beach towel and started heading back towards the hotel that was just in front of the beach. Her arms were crossed protectively in front of her chest, head lowered to avoid eye contact with the young men who were heading in the opposite direction. She shut her eyes when she heard them snicker behind her, no doubt making fun of her figure. She just wanted to lock herself in the room and crawl under the covers of the bed, just her alone with nobody else.

But the sudden calls for her from behind let her know that it wasn't going to be the case.

"Geez, couldn't you at least wait for us baby?" Mingi pouted as he linked an arm around her.

"Sorry, didn't want to cut your playtime at the beach short." She felt even more bad knowing they decided to follow her back.

"It's fine darling. It was getting too hot anyways. Besides we can have just as much fun in the hotel room as we do in the beach." Yunho added, leaning his face so he could whisper in her ear.

"Or maybe even more fun." He snickered suggestively, which made her blush and cling closer to the male on her right, who simply let out a small snort.

"Don't tease her Yunho. You know how shy she gets with these things." Unable to hold back from making her even more flustered, Mingi's hand that was on her waist dropping to slightly pinch her butt cheek.

"And it makes me want to eat her up even more."

With a soft huff, she shoved his hand away from him and simply walked faster to hide from their vulgar teasing that had her cheeks burning bright red.

"She's so adorable." Yunho chuckled, to which Mingi agreed with. Taking advantage of the fact she couldn't hear them, both of them started whispering a few things amongst themselves, huge grins plastering on their faces as they planned out how they were going to spend their night with their lovely girlfriend.

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Staring at her reflection in the long body mirror, Y/N cringed at the sight. She knew the guys were waiting outside in the hot tub for her, no doubt aching to see her in the dark blue bikini they had picked out for her, a color Mingi aggressively shoved into Yunho who wanted to go instead for a more baby pink choice, but eventually caved into the other's choice. She didn't feel up to going out in it though, she felt it unflattering and unsuitable for someone her size. Stripping out of it, she tossed on a tank top and shorts once more, wanting to be as covered up as much as possible. Feeling satisfied with that, she quickly came out of the bathroom, not wanting to make the boys wait any longer.

Hearing the glass door of the room slide open, the young men excitedly looked over hoping to see their gorgeous girlfriend in a swimsuit they bought her, but their faces fell flat when they saw her clothing choice.

"What happened to the bikini we bought you? Oh god! Please don't tell me we got the wrong size." Mingi groaned, already beating himself up for an imaginary mistake.

"No it fit fine, I just.... I just prefer being like this." She replied as she slipped her body inside the hot water, setting herself in between both of the men, who wasted no time in drawing their bodies closer to her, effectively trapping her.

Looking up from one and then to the other, Y/N knew by the smiles on their face that they were up to something else and it wasn't particularly pure. Taking the lead as he usually did, Yunho brought a hand up to trace the outline of her jaw.

"So pretty..." He muttered as he bent his face down to hers.

Starting off with small pecks, Yunho eventually pressed his lips deeper into hers, hand still cupping her jaw so his thumb could draw circles around her cheek. Y/N moaned when she felt his tongue dart forward and infiltrate her mouth. She gave in and allowed him absolute control, moaning louder when he pulled her tongue inside his own mouth and briefly sucking on it. For a few minutes they were lost in their little world until the third person in the relationship reminded them of his presence.

"Ok you got your turn, now let me make out with my baby."

As soon as Yunho's mouth was detached from her lips, it was quickly replaced by Mingi's, who unlike the other male, was more fervent and rougher with his kisses. Whereas Yunho preferred a lot more tongue action, Mingi enjoyed nipping at his lover's lips. Indeed he made sure to get her lips as swollen and red as possible. His teeth endlessly tugged at her bottom lip, a smirk appearing on his features each time he drew out a gasp or whine from the girl in front of him. Her sounds intensified when she felt Yunho's lips occupying themselves on her shoulder and neck, leaving small love bites on the visible patches of skin. His large hand dove underwater to clasp at the end of her top, rising it up slowly so he could take it off her.

Feeling her insecurities rise up once more, Y/N quickly withdrew his hand off her body, ending the makeout session with her other boyfriend in the process.

"Baby did we do something wrong? Did we push it too far?" Yunho immediately worried that they hurt her in any way. Mingi was also mirroring the same feeling his friend was bearing.

"No, it's not you guys...it's me."

Both of the men looked at each other in confusion.

"Are you sick? Is that it? Why didn't you say something before." Mingi brought a palm over her forehead, attempting to figure out if she had a fever or not.

Shaking her head, Y/N took a deep breath before she went any further.

"I'm not sick I just hate my body ok? I hate being chubby, it makes all the clothes I wear look ugly on me. I wish I was skinnier like some of the female idols you guys see almost on the daily. Maybe then I'd be more attractive for you guys.."

Her confession broke them to pieces. They couldn't believe she felt that way and they cursed themselves for not noticing earlier on about their girlfriend's insecurities.

"But darling, you are very attractive just the way you are." Mingi spoke up, though they could tell his words didn't have much of an effect on her.

Joining in to make sure she felt loved, Yunho tilted Y/N's face so she could clearly see his sincerity at his next words.

"Listen to me, your body is very gorgeous just the way it is. You may not believe it, but trust me when I say Mingi and I are absolutely crazy about your body. It makes you more irresistible and we wouldn't have you any other way."

His words lightened her mood just a bit, a hint of a smile starting to form on the corners of her lips.

"And we're not the only ones who think so. There were some assholes who were shamelessly checking you out while we were trying to catch up with you back on the beach." Mingi added, face frowning as he recalled the way they heard the group of men talking about their girlfriend in such a lewd manner.

"What? N-no, I'm sure you got it wrong. They were probably making fun of me." Her theory however was quickly shut down by Yunho.

"No baby, we heard them clearly as they went on and on about how hot you look....among other things that weren't exactly family friendly." Although he tried to hide it, Yunho couldn't keep his teeth from gritting against each other in a jealous manner.

"And we saw how their faces kept turning to stare at your ass." Mingi recalled rather unhappily.

Y/N felt even more embarrassed now, her hands coming up to hide her reddened face, which continued to stay hidden even when she felt both males press themselves into her.

"But if that still doesn't convince you, how about you let us demonstrate how much we adore your figure?"

Peeking out and uncovering her face, Y/N took in their hungry gazes that were awaiting for permission to devour her. Although she nodded slightly, it wasn't enough for them.

"Darling use your words please. We'd much rather hear you say how much you want us as well." Mingi deepened his voice enough to cause an effect on her.

Biting down on her lip, Y/N's voice shyly spoke out.

"Please.... touch me." She gulped before uttering her next words.

"Make love to me."

Finally hearing the magic words, both men stood up, their bodies drenched and pouring water. Taking hold of Y/N, Mingi brought her out of the hot tub as well and sat her in front of him on the wood extension of the hot tub. Reaching for her shirt, he quickly peeled it off her body and moved it somewhere else while Yunho took care of her lower half, removing her shorts and equally discarding them somewhere else.

"Fuck, she looks so damn pretty." Yunho marveled at the sight of her bare, soaked body right in front of him.

Snaking his hands down her torso, Mingi gripped the top of her thighs so he could pry them open, letting Yunho gaze into her exposed heat. He let out a chuckle at his friend's star struck expression.

"Well? Don't just stand there like an idiot. Put those long ass fingers of yours to work." Mingi told him.

Instructing Y/N to keep her legs wide open, Mingi brought his hands back up her body so they could cup her breasts. He squeezed them in between his fingers, astonished at feeling how soft and tender they were. While she was still getting adjusted to the feeling of Mingi's hands around her boobs, Yunho came up in front of her and began kissing along her collarbone, making her tilt her head back.

"God your boobs are so squishy." Mingi groaned as he pressed them against each other, thumbs tweaking at her nipples.

While Mingi's hands continued playing around with her chest, Yunho took advantage of her dazed state to brush his fingers along one of her thighs. Creeping it closer in between her legs, his thumb started slow and gentle motions on her clit. He smiled against her neck when he felt her shudder as he pressed down on her button.

"Mingi be sure to hold her steady while I finger her pretty pussy. You know how she tends to get."

Removing his hands off her breasts, Mingi proceeded to move them to her hips, knowing fully well they'd be wanting to buck into Yunho's hand. Y/N looked down and watched intently as one of Yunho's fingers slowly slipped inside her hole. She gaped with amazement as he effortlessly slid his finger out of her body and then back inside. It always amazed her how such a little action could make her so weak and pliant towards her lovers. Yunho of course knew this and loved to use it against her. Smiling ever so smugly, he inserted a second finger into her hole, his pace starting to pick up. Her breath hitched as she craned her neck back to rest her head on Mingi's shoulder, the latter taking the opportunity to plaster kisses on the side of her cheek.

"Do you like having Yunho's fingers inside of you babygirl?" He asked, lips brushing against her earlobe.

"Y-yes." She responded.

When her thighs tried to close, Mingi was quick to pry them back apart, his grip tight enough that they could leave prints on her skin.

"No babygirl, keep those pretty legs of yours open for Yunho."

Knowing exactly what to do to tip her over the edge, Yunho angled his fingers upward so they could rub at her sweet spot as he continued to wiggle his fingers inside of her. A third finger was added to the combination, which had the recipient crying out from the stretch.

"How on earth are you always so tight babygirl? It's like we don't fuck you enough." Yunho expressed, thumb circling on her nub with more detailed and faster motions.

The wet and sloppy sounds emanating from between her legs were like music to both men's ears. They enjoyed hearing how wet they could make her become, Mingi especially licked his lips as he saw how her folds started to glisten from all the arousal seeping out of her.

"Shit, her pussy looks so good. I can't wait to eat her out."

Shooting a smirk to his friend, Yunho worked his fingers deeper into his girlfriend's core, thrusting them sporadically in an effort to bring her closer to her high.

"Well just let me get her cum with my fingers and then I'll leave her in your hands..... or should I say mouth?"

Hearing them say what they were going to do to her made Y/N shudder. With eyes shut, her voice slightly broke into half cries half whimpers as she came on Yunho's fingers. Mingi's hold on her thighs prevented her from shutting her legs and thus making her orgasm feel more intense as it washed all throughout her body. Making sure to keep his fingers lodged inside until she came down from her high, Yunho gently leaned in to press a kiss on the corner of Y/N's mouth.

"Look babygirl."

Opening her eyes, she was met with the sight of Yunho's fingers pulling out of her heat. They were covered completely in her cum, leaving her surprised that she could produce that much from just his fingers. Keeping eye contact with her, he brought his fingers up to his lips and licked them clean.

"Oh Mingi, you're going to definitely enjoy eating her out." Yunho locked eyes with the other male, sending him a knowing wink.

"Then I guess I better not let her juices go to waste."

Moving her body so she could face him, Mingi layed down on his back and motioned for Y/N to move herself on top of his face, which she hesitated to do. Sensing what she was worried about, Mingi smiled at her.

"Baby, it's ok. I want to feel those thick thighs of yours on me. Now come over here and smother my face with your sweet pussy."

Getting help from Yunho who took hold of her arms, he placed her right on top of Mingi's face. Spreading her lips apart, Mingi's tongue came up to lick up the leftover arousal from Yunho's previous fingering session. Y/N couldn't help but gasp not just from the over sensitivity of her pussy, but from Mingi's warm mouth consuming her taste. Closing his eyes, Mingi lost himself in the sweetness her body had to offer. Flicking his tongue out, he made sure to pay close attention to her clit, circling the tip of his wet muscle around it. As if they had a mind of their own, Y/N's hips began to slowly grind down against Mingi's tongue movements. When she noticed what she was doing, she made an attempt to stop her motions.

"No babygirl. Show Mingi how much you enjoy having him eat you out. He told you to smother his face and that's what you're going to give him. After all, that is what he wants. Don't you Mingi?" Yunho piped up.

The man underneath Y/N responded with a muffled moan against her wetness. His hands clasped themselves on her ass, harshly slamming her down until her heat was covering the entirety of his face. Guiding her hips, he made her drag her core along his tongue over and over, slurping up every inch of tender flesh without leaving any patch dry. Y/N began panting, each stroke of Mingi's tongue making her fall deeper in that hazy state she had been in just moments ago while Yunho had his fingers knuckles deep in her. And both men knew it, they had learned and memorized each pitch of her sounds and every tick of her body to know what she liked and when she'd come crumbling down from the pleasure they gave her.

Knowing she needed a little encouragement, Yunho began peppering open mouth kisses along her neck as his fingers brushed along the sides of her waist.

"Go ahead love. Cum all over Mingi's face. Make a mess of his pretty face." He softly instructed her. A pleased grin framed Yunho's face as merely seconds later, Y/N fulfilled his command. Mingi groaned wildly as his face was smothered by her mound, her thighs trembling and clenching around his skull as another flood of her juices poured out onto his face. Making sure to lick up as much as possible, Mingi detached his mouth from her reddened folds with an audible pop, a proud smirk on his face that he was not wiping off at any moment.

Knowing she was still too worked up from her orgasm, Yunho carefully lifted her up into his arms. Gesturing for Mingi to follow, he carried her bridal style back inside their room, where he layed her down on the soft king sized bed. Stripping themselves out of their swimming trunks, the men whispered a few words amongst each other before reaching the decision of who got to have her first. The beaming look on Mingi's features answered her thoughts on who it was.

Setting himself right next to her, Mingi began stroking his already hard length.

"Come here baby. Hop your pretty self on top and ride me." He motioned for her to sit on top of him.

With hands pressed to his chest, Y/N slowly sunk herself down until his entire cock was safely nestled inside her. Hissing at the excruciatingly tight grip her tender flesh had on him, Mingi looked over to Yunho, who already had one hand wrapped tightly on his dick.

"We really should fuck her more often, she's unbelievably tight." His voice rasped out.

"Well why don't you do something about it? You're literally inside her idiot." Yunho reminded him rather agitated, anxious to get his own turn with his beloved girl.

With sharp cries, Y/N held onto the headboard in front of her as the man underneath her started pounding his hips up into her. Their moans were filling up the room, along with the slick sounds protruding from between their thighs, where they were connected. Yunho eagerly watched them, his hand working to stroke his twitching cock, making sure not to speed up in case he accidentally made himself cum. He knew he'd get his turn soon, but for the moment, he reveled at seeing the two individuals he cared about the most be so intimate with each other. He watched as their facial muscles started contorting and scrunching up with pleasure, their bodies starting to layer a thin sheen of sweat from the intensity of their love making.

Already vulnerable from the previous 2 orgasms, Y/N started to feel that familiar heat pooling in her lower abdomen, spreading under her skin and making her dizzy with lust. Mingi's pace turned slightly more rough. He loved watching as he made his girlfriend ride his cock, especially when he was blessed with the sight of her breasts bouncing right in front of him. He thought it was one of the most amazing sights to behold. Sensing that she was close given how worked out they had gotten her before and by the way her sounds grew more frantic, Mingi gripped at her sides to hold her down as he bucked his cock deep enough to have her crying out.

"That's it babygirl. Let yourself go. Cum all over me." He grunted at her, feeling himself reach his own brink from the frenetic pace he set for themselves.

With aching thighs, Y/N violently shook on top of him, vision darkening as her mind only payed attention to the sensation of her walls clamping around her lover's cock. Feeling overly constricted to the point of hurting in a most delicious grip, Mingi quickly pulled himself out of her core before any of his cum could start spilling inside her. With the help of his hand, he finished himself off by spurting drops of cum onto her thighs and stomach, some of them dripping off to land on the sheets underneath them.

"Oh my God." Mingi threw his head back onto the pillow behind him as he tried to steady his racing heart.

Finally seeing his cue to come in, Yunho fitted himself on the large king sized bed and carefully pulled Y/N off Mingi's lap to sat her on top of his own. Whereas Mingi preferred having her face him, Yunho opted to keep her facing away, pressing his chest onto her back. His voice gently shushed her whimpers as he sunk her down onto his overly endowed length. Fitting himself in her always took a little longer due to his size.

"You're doing so well baby." He cooed in her ear as he waited for her to adjust to him. Mingi was definitely right in exclaiming how tight she was, he himself was gritting his teeth at how hard her walls were squeezing at his shaft.

Knowing she was overly sensitive, clit swollen and folds puffed up, Yunho decided to go for a more slow and sensual pace. His hands gently rolled her hips to move on top of him, soft and blissful sighs being breathed out of their mouths. He made sure not to overwhelm her, and he himself wanted to enjoy the moment for as long as possible. When he heard her agitated moan, he let her relax on top of him as his hips took over. He was careful not to snap his hips too aggressively, still being gentle and precise with each thrust he shot up at her. With one hand sliding in between her legs, his fingers brushed against her pinkied clit before carefully circling around it.

"You're so beautiful my dear. Absolutely perfect." He murmured against her neck whilst his lips pressed tiny kisses on her warm skin.

Y/N gasped when she felt his pace slightly speed up, causing her body to jolt forward, which was stopped from falling when Yunho's arms held her in a tight embrace to keep her close to him. She knew she was definitely waking up sore the next morning, her thighs were already burning from cumming so much and from being bounced on top of two monster cocks that belonged to her tall boyfriends. Her 4th orgasm of the night slowly and silently crept up on her, rendering her almost numb to everything except the dull sting of her juices pouring out once more onto Yunho's cock. Even after she felt him pull out and coat her backside with his hot seed, she was still in hazy state, worn out after all the attention the two men bestowed upon them. The last thing she saw before passing out on the bed was Yunho's voice purring in her ear:

"Remember Mingi and I love you just the way you are..."

[writethelifeyouwant]

Aversion Therapy

Summary: Y/N has been institutionalised for sex addiction at an experimental facility, run by Dr. Sam Winchester.

Pairing: Doctor!Sam x Reader Rating: 18+ Warnings: Sex addiction, addiction therapies, abuse of therapist/patient relationship, noncon roleplay Tags: hair pulling, crotchless panties, degradation (like, a lot), blow job, spitting, pussy spanking, sex on a desk, body writing, p in v, pulling out Word Count: 4.5 k Created for: @samwinchesterbingo - Doctor!Sam | @spnkinkbingo - Crotchless Panties | @anyfandomgoesbingo - Hair Pulling | @j3bingo - Diary

A/N: So I this may or may not be one of the dirtiest things I've ever written. It's definitely up there in the list 😅I hope you enjoy, fellow sinners!

October 24th

Last night was awesome. He took me out to dinner and everything, real gentleman, even though we both knew that’s not what the night was about. It was sunset when we got up to the lookout, all romantic. I felt silly that he was making such a big deal about it. Losing your virginity shouldn’t be so much pressure. Now it’s over I don’t feel any different except that I want more. We went twice last night but that still wasn’t enough. I touched myself this morning and it was almost like I could still feel him inside of me. I think tonight I’m gonna let him do it without the condom, so he will still be inside me tomorrow morning.

“What the hell are you doing?” you shout, outraged. It wasn’t enough that your parents had locked you in this place, humiliating you, betraying you, handing you over to Doctor Judgy, but they’d handed over your diaries too. Fucking great. Dr. Winchester ignores you and keeps reading, skipping ahead a few weeks.

November 15th

Fuck I love sex. Even with guys that aren’t great at it it’s still worth it just to have a cock inside me. I wish I could stay the night somewhere without my parents freaking out. I want to fall asleep with a cock inside me the whole time, wake up to it fucking me, keeping me open. College is gonna be the best. Then I can finally do what I want, fuck who I want. Can finally order a freaking vibrator without mom asking what’s in the package. Ugh, I can’t wait.

Sam’s voice sounds unnatural reading out your words. He’s not putting the right emotion or inflection in them. It’s like he’s taunting you with them. There’s a trace of humour underlying everything he says.

“Why are you doing this?” you shout again, and Sam looks up at you from your diary, a smug smile on his lips.

“Because you’re sick, Y/N,” he states it like an obvious fact, shutting the diary with a loud clunk and waving it back and forth. “These are the words of an addict.”

“I’m not an addict,” you scoff, rolling your eyes. Sam raises his eyebrows at you and flicks open your diary again, thumbing through to a page he has marked with a turned down corner.

February 3rd

That’s it, I’m addicted to cock. I need it more than coffee or air or food. I just want to be on my knees all day and let men use me. I want them in my mouth, in my pussy, even in my ass, I don’t care. I just want them. One day I’ll figure out how to make that happen.

Sam gives you an accusatory look as he closes the diary again, and you do have the good sense to look a little sheepish. Having your thirsty words read back to you is embarrassing. Especially considering the man reading them out is extremely attractive. If you’d met him when you were out you would have been on him in a heartbeat.

You can’t help it, your eyes drop to his crotch, which is just below your eye level where he’s leaning against the front edge of his desk. Dr. Winchester notices your gaze and smirks down at you knowingly. The expression makes him even hotter – domineering and sexy.

“You really are a little slut. Get carted off to rehab and the first thing you do is eye up your therapist,” he clicks his tongue disappointedly, and you blush for a moment before you decide that you don’t want to take this shit from him.

“So what,” you shrug, leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms. Dr. Winchester raises a brow again, surprised by your boldness.

“You don’t think it’s inappropriate to think about your therapist in a sexual manner?” He pushes himself off his desk and settles his hands in his pockets, considering you carefully.

“I like cock, so what?” you say again defiantly. The doctor keeps his expression neutral, walking around his desk and sitting down, grabbing a notepad and scribbling down a few things. You watch him suspiciously, wanting to know what he was writing down. “I’m not crazy, I just really like sex.” Dr. Winchester nods and keeps writing, not looking up at you.

“Come on, are you saying you don’t like sex?” you try to rile him up, and you see a small laugh bleed through his careful exterior, but not the kind of reaction you were hoping for. “What, your manhood not measure up or something?” That gets the doctor’s attention. He shoots you a glare over his desk and puts aside his pen, folding his hands in front of him and staring you down. His eyes drag across you from top to bottom, lingering on your lips, your neck, your cleavage, your legs. You like him looking at you like this, it sends a thrill through your chest, settling in the pit of your stomach.

“I can see that your attitude is going to make traditional therapies somewhat difficult.” You roll your eyes, but let him keep talking. “Have you heard of aversion therapy?” You shake your head shortly. “Aversion therapy is a psychological treatment in which the patient,” Dr. Winchester gestures to you, “is exposed to a stimulus while simultaneously being subjected to some form of discomfort, in an attempt to discourage said behaviour.”

“Um, English, please?” you stare at the doctor blankly, not putting together how this is going to apply to you.

“Well,” Dr. Winchester leans back in his chair, and swings his legs up onto his desk and brings his hands to fold in his lap. It makes him look surprisingly casual - not at all the image you had of doctors and therapists in your mind. “In this case, the stimulus is an unwanted behaviour, your over zealous sexual cravings and actions. We need to introduce an element of discomfort or unpleasantness into your experience of that behaviour, to discourage future indulgences,” he explains.

“What are you gonna do, Doctor?” you sneer at his title. “Put me in an electroshock chair and make me watch porn? Newsflash - that sounds amazing,” you scoff. Honestly, if that’s going to be your therapy, you’ll drop the attitude and sign the fuck up right now.

Dr. Winchester shakes his head, a small smirk on his lips. He stands, removing his jacket and tossing it on the back of the chair, then proceeds to unbutton the cuffs of his sleeves and roll them back, one at a time. You watch him suspiciously. The moment his jacket came off your head went straight to one conclusion, but that couldn’t be right. You find your eyes lingering on his forearms, the veins in them pulsing visibly just below the surface of his skin. You want to lick them.

“No you’re right, you’d enjoy that far too much.” The doctor’s voice brings you back to yourself and you look up, watching him slowly approaching your chair. “We won’t be associating a physical discomfort with the addiction, what we want is to alter your mental associations towards the behaviour. We’ll use a series of mantras, and repetition and after a period of good, focused work, we can start to transition you back to a home environment.” His hand comes up to grip the back of your wooden chair, right beside your ear, and you can feel the heat radiating from his body against your skin despite the several inches still separating you.

Between your legs, you can feel how much Dr. Winchester’s proximity is beginning to affect you. For some reason the way he’s speaking to you, so formal and condescending, is really turning you on. You bet if he knew, he’d just say it was another sign of your “addiction”. You can feel your panties starting to get a little slippery when you shift in your seat to look up at him, and you don’t manage to stifle your small intake of breath when the open crotch of the underwear accidentally catches on one of your pussy lips, sending a delicious tug of pain into your core.

Dr. Winchester smirks down at you, entirely unsubtle, probably assuming that gasp was your reaction to him being so near.

Finally, after far too long staring at him, you manage to take a breath and ask- “what exactly is my therapy going to be, then?” Your voice comes out much higher than you’d anticipated, and you feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

Dr. Winchester’s hand drags along the top of the chair and lands on the back of your neck. You shiver when his skin touches yours, despite its warmth. His fingers wind themselves into your hair a second later and yank hard, pulling your head over the back of the chair so you’re forced to look straight up at him.

“Ow! What the hell?!” You reach behind you to try to break his grip but he just pulls again. The pain sends a new tendril of desire twisting down your spine to between your legs, and you feel your panties getting even wetter. You whimper, your arousal clearly evident to the doctor, who laughs.

“Yeah, I knew you’d be too into pain for that kind of thing to work,” he chuckles darkly. He bends down, face so close to yours you can feel his breath ghost against your cheek. “So here’s what we’re going to do instead. I’m gonna fuck you, but you’re going to make sure you don’t enjoy it. You’re going to cry and yell and beg me to stop.” He practically growls, nose brushing against yours, lips hovering just out of reach.

Your pussy clenches at his words, aroused beyond belief at the disdain he’s treating you with. You struggle against his grip deliberately, relishing in the renewed sting as his hand pulls your hair even tighter to keep you still.

“You really don’t get it, do you Dr. Winchester,” you try to laugh but your throat is taut and your air isn’t quite flowing easily enough to let you. “I like cock. I wanted you to fuck me the second I saw you. There’s nothing you could say or do that would make me want you to stop.”

“I think we can drop the formalities now,” he releases you, standing up and reaching for his belt. “It’s Sam, not ‘Doctor Winchester’.”

Your eyes drop to his hands immediately, watching his fingers deftly push his button through its hole and pull down his zip. He’s already hard, you can tell by the tent in his boxers, but you’re astonished to see when he pulls himself out that he’s actually only semi hard – his cock is just huge. You feel your mouth and your pussy water in equal measure.

“Fuck,” you whisper as he starts to stroke himself, eyes tracing up and down your body hungrily as he does so.

“You want this cock, Y/N?” he asks pointedly, and you nod mutely. “Use your words then.”

“Yes,” you breathe instantly, dropping to your knees on the hard, grey carpet in front of him.

“Then you don’t get it,” Sam smirked, contradictorily walking himself closer to you as he speaks, hand still pumping his cock.

“Please?” you beg, hoping that’s the game he’s trying to play. Maybe he thinks he can humiliate you enough that you won’t want to repeat the experience – he’s going to be wrong.

“Nope.” Sam pops the ‘p’ on the word teasingly. “Your mantra for today is ‘no’.”

“What?” you look up to him, confused.

“Anytime I ask you if this is what you want – if you want my cock in your mouth, in your pussy, anywhere I want to put it – anytime I ask you if you want it, you have to say ‘no’,” he smiles down at you like some kind of evil genius, and you’re getting annoyed now that you find this so fucking hot.

“You want me to pretend you’re raping me? Sounds like you need therapy.” Sam laughs, not at all offended by your jab.

“We’re trying to condition a new response, Y/N,” he explains lightly, still jacking himself off maddeningly close to your lips. It takes every ounce of self control you have not to lean forward and suck him down on the spot. “If you want my cock inside you, then you have to tell me you don’t. And hopefully, with time, you’ll start to believe what you’re saying out loud. You’ll believe that you don’t need this, don’t want this.” He taps his cock against your lips and your tongue chases him immediately, reaching for a taste of the liquid you felt pooling on his tip.

“Uh, uh, uh,” he pulls himself away, tutting. “What do you say, Y/N?”

You swallow your pride and give him what he’s asking, though begrudgingly.

“No, please, don’t.” Your voice is monotone, lifeless – like how you used to read out loud in English class when the teacher called on you.

“C’mon, you know that’s not good enough. How are you going to believe yourself if I don’t believe you?” Sam walks closer again and sets his cock against your mouth lightly. “You wanna suck my cock, baby?”

“No,” you manage to choke out, and your hesitance to say the word must sound like hesitance to give him a blow job because Sam buys it, and the next moment he’s pushing the shiny, pink head past your lips, against your tongue; not stopping until he hits the top of your throat. He pulls back again, taking himself completely out of your mouth.

“You want it?” he asks again, grinning down at you.

“No,” you whimper, while inside every fibre of your body is screaming – yes!

“Good girl,” he groans as he pushes himself back inside, and you moan along with him. This time he doesn’t stop himself, fucking all the way into your throat until your nose is pressed against the skin of his stomach. “Fuck, you really are a cockslut,” Sam grunts above you, pulling back a little and starting to fuck your mouth in earnest. “You haven’t gagged once. Not many girls manage that with me.”

You believe him. Your jaw is already aching from the stretch of your lips around his girth but you savour the hurt. You love this; being on your knees for some guy you barely know with his cock shoved as far in as he can fit it. This is what you were made for, you know it, no matter how hard Sam’s going to try to talk you out of it.

He fucks your throat for a few more minutes, lulling you into a false sense of security. You’ve relaxed into it now, and you aren’t thinking about the therapy or the role play or any of it, you’re only thinking about his cock against your tongue, heavy and velvety and perfect. You cry out when he pulls away, taking in a shocked breath at the sudden emptiness.

“You want it back baby girl?” Sam asks breathlessly, and you allow yourself a moment to feel smug at how clearly affected he is by your ministrations.

“Please,” you beg, crawling towards him, forgetting your lines. Sam pulls away, disappointment evident on his face.

“Wrong answer, Y/N.”

“No!” you shout hoarsely, trying to correct yourself. “I mean no, please, no.”

“No,” Sam sucks in a breath, reaching to pull up his trousers like he’s going to put himself away. “No, I don’t think I believe you.”

“No, Sam, please!” you beg, reaching out for him. “I can do this,” you whisper, and Sam lets you take his cock in your hand, wrapping his fingers over yours and guiding your strokes. “Ask me again?”

“Do you want my cock, Y/N?” Sam raises an eyebrow.

“No,” you say firmly. “No, don’t make me do this.”

“Good girl,” he says again, his hand tightening over yours and using you to jerk himself off. “Do you want my cock, Y/N?”

“No,” you whine, trying to play into it even though your fingers start trying to jack him off faster of their own accord, your hands slipping together over the saliva you’d left behind.

“Do you want my cock in your pussy?” Sam growls, reaching his free hand out to snag your hair and pulling hard, causing you to shout out in delicious pain.

“No!” you squeal, trying to pull out of his hold, hoping you can act your way through this convincingly enough to get what you really want.

“No, whore?” Sam spits on you harshly, the wet striking you on the cheek and dripping down your chin.

“No,” you scream again as he pulls you off of the ground by your hair, throwing you forwards over his desk. Books and pads of paper go crashing to the ground. Pens scatter around you when your elbow hits the mug that was holding dozens of them.

“No?” you hear Sam scoff as he flips up the hem of your patient-issued uniform skirt, spotting the pair of crotchless panties you’re wearing beneath. “You’re telling me a slut like you, who gets put in an insititution for sex addiction, and decides to pack crotchless fucking panties, doesn’t want my cock stuffing her cunt full?”

“No, I don’t want it,” you moan, his words positively setting you on fire. Fuck, you want everything he’s saying and more.

“I don’t fucking believe you,” Sam spits between your legs, adding to the slick that must be visibly gathered there by now.

“No!” you cry out when he delivers a stinging blow to your pussy, palm landing right over the open slit of your panties. “No,” you sob out again as he continues to spank you, each hit making a sickly wet echo and sending a jolt of heat through your clit every time his fingers happen to catch it. “No, no, no,” you’re begging, even as you spread your legs wider and push your hips back into his hand, trying to angle yourself so he hits your small bundle of nerves more frequently.

“You’re fucking loving this aren’t you,” Sam is seething behind you. “I can feel how wet you are, you fucking whore. You want my cock now, huh? Want me to put all this slick to good use?” He dips his fingers into the crotch of your panties and comes away with his fingers drenched in your juices, which you see a moment later when he shoves them in your face, yanking you back by your hair again.

“See this slut? See how I can tell you’re lying to me? What’s all this for if it’s not to get you ready for my cock?”

“N–” you try to protest, needing him to believe you if you want to actually feel his cock inside you, but your words are cut off as he shoves his fingers into your mouth, making you lick yourself off his hand.

“That’s right, taste what a fucking embarrassment you are.” Sam lets go of your hair and from the corner of your eye you see his fingers reaching for one of the pens that you knocked onto the desk earlier. Pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he uncaps the pen and crouches down behind you, putting your pussy at eye level for him.

“I think we should let the world know just how much of a slut you really are.” You wonder what he means, feeling him draw a single line down your right buttock, then switching to your left and writing some words. “Now anyone who fucks you is gonna see my instructions, and know they have to leave a tally mark right here.” He slaps your ass hard where he had just drawn his own. “And every time you come back to me for a session with more tallies than you left with the last time I saw you, that’s just one more time you’re gonna have to go through this with me. To make sure we really break you out of this habit.”

You silently wonder how many guys there are in this hospital that you might want to fuck. He spanks you again and you clench, pussy convulsing at the threat and the thought of men keeping count of the cocks you’ve taken by literally writing it on your body. You feel a trickle of slick start to make its way down your thigh, and you know Sam must have noticed because he laughs darkly.

“You like the sound of that, don’t you? Are you already planning how to rack up your score as soon as I let you out of this office?” he sneers vehemently.

“No,” you shake your head, even though it’s entirely true. “No, I don’t want that, I promise, I don’t.”

“But you still want my cock?” Sam questions, and you feel the tip of his dick start to drag against you, up and down the slit of your panties.

“No, I don’t want it,” you insist, trying to keep yourself from pushing back onto him.

“Good girl, Y/N,” Sam pets at your lower back and braces himself as he starts to sink in. You both moan when he enters you, but to your chagrin he stops when he only has an inch or so inside. “You want me to keep going?” he pants, and you’re pleased to hear that he’s not as composed now that he’s got the head of his cock wedged between your legs.

“No,” you shake your head quickly, silently praying for him to continue.

“Very good,” he groans, and begins to thrust into you again; tiny, sharp motions to ease himself into you bit by bit.

“No, stop,” you whine without prompting, hoping to encourage him to go faster. He does. “No, no, no,” you chant until he’s sheathed himself completely inside you, his hips pressed firmly into yours, his hands squeezing around your waist possessively.

“No?” Sam asks teasingly, pulling out a little.

“No!” you cry again, and this time you do mean ‘no’ – you don’t want him to leave you. At your cry Sam pushes back in harshly, snapping his hips back against yours and moaning, the sound bubbling up deep from his chest. “No,” you try repeating the phrase, testing your theory, and you’re rewarded by Sam withdrawing and fucking back into you piercingly.

“Please stop, please,” you whimper, not able to stop yourself from rocking back into his thrusts as Sam starts a punishing pace.

“You fucking liar, you love this you little cockslut,” Sam grunts pointedly, taunting you.

“No,” you insist, still meeting him thrust for thrust. “No I don’t want this, I don’t want you!”

“You’re always going to want cock, always gonna beg for it.”

“No!”

“You want me to stuff you full everyday don’t you? Maybe more than that. I bet you’d sit under my desk all day with my cock in your mouth if I told you to,” he laughs, his harsh pace becoming even quicker. He’s not fucking you deeply now but that means that every time he pushes in the head of his cock punches hard against the sweet spot on the front of your pussy, making you clench around him.

“No,” you shudder, feeling yourself close to the brink of your release, and you wonder what he’ll do when you cum – a clear demonstration that you’re fucking loving this, despite what you’re saying out loud.

“Say it louder, bitch,” he grunts, reaching down and spanking hard against your clit.

“No, no, stop!” you shout, desperately trying to fuck yourself on his cock, your orgasm just out of reach.

“You want to cum on my cock?” Sam slaps you again but then starts to rub tiny circles just where you need them.

“N–no,” you stutter, unable to hold back your moan.

“You don’t want to cum baby, you sure?” he teases, angling his hips so he’s fucking your sweet spot with each drive into you.

“No,” you whine, voice pitching higher as you feel yourself right there.

“No?” You can hear from Sam’s voice that he’s pouting at you, mocking you. “You don’t want to cum baby? Not gonna cum on my big, fat cock fucking you so good?” You clench around him, your toes curling, straining… “Come on you little slut, fucking cum already. Thought whores like you were supposed to be easy? Huh? Want you to cum for me, Y/N.”

“No, no, no, no, no–” you lose track of what you’re saying as you cum, screaming into your arm so you don’t accidentally say something to make Sam stop fucking you. Thankfully, he doesn’t stop. He fucks you through your orgasm and your come down, hips snapping more and more erratically as you bury your face in his desk and try to catch your breath.

Suddenly, the weight of his body is gone, and then there’s a warm jolt between your legs, and you know he’s cumming – aiming his load at the top of your panties and letting it drip down through the open crotch. You moan high in your throat at the feeling of his release soaking into your underwear, mixing with your own juices, which are already leaking out of you and dripping onto his desk.

“That was a really good session, Y/N,” Sam says, and you’re surprised to hear how composed he sounds, though a little breathless. “I think this is going to be a good strategy for you.” He walks around to the other side of his desk and starts to pick up the books and papers you’d knocked down earlier.

Slowly, you peel yourself up off his desktop, your skin sticking to the surface with sweat that’s already started to dry.

“Go clean yourself up, Y/N,” Sam instructs, not looking at you as he continues to tidy his desk. You turn to go, still in your post-orgasmic daze, but you spin back around when Sam calls your name again. “Oh, and Y/N?” you look at him curiously, and a smirk curls slowly across his lips as you watch. “You better keep the tally marks, or there’ll be consequences next session.”

“Yes, Dr. Winchester,” you agree quietly and slip out of his office into the hallway, walking back to your room behind an orderly, with Sam’s cum still dripping down your thighs. You think about the tally he’d left on your body, and you look up at the orderly, who’s now stopped at the door to your room and holding it open for you.

As you pass him, you keep your eyes trained at the ground, and glance sideways to surreptitiously inspect the man next to you. The hospital scrubs do nothing to hide his endowment. You smile brightly, bringing your eyes up the rest of his body, taking in the muscles in his arms and the name tag on his chest, before landing on his face.

“Thanks, Dean.” You walk into your room, eyes flicking back to see Dean still standing there, watching you walk towards your bed. You bend over to grab something off the bottom shelf of your nightstand, not caring what you grab, just knowing that you’re now giving Dean a full display of your ass – Sam’s writing and Sam’s cum decorating your skin.

The door behind you shuts quietly.

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[dragonindigo245]

Official post for my orange side theory

AND NO IT IS NOT WRATH OR ANGER

WARNING: Spoilers for Working Through Intrusive Thoughts. I'm not gonna bother adding the spoiler tag to this post because all the spoilers are going to be under the read more.

Also this post is long so be warned.

Back in early August of 2020 I came up with an orange side theory I have stuck with for a long time. I always found the orange side theory of wrath/anger to be odd, seeing as anger is an emotion not a personality trait, and therefore made an effort to try and discover what I can see the orange side being. In light of the fandoms response to the latest asides saying that orange being wrath is "now canon", I figured it was time to bring it back, along with new points and explanations.

What is the orange side exactly? The answer is simple. He might not be this exactly, but orange is naivety, irrationality, or the inability to see logic clearly.

This started when I made the connection to the dark sides being complete opposites to one another. For example, Janus and Patton are opposite ends of the moral spectrum, Roman and Remus are opposite ends of the creative spectrum, and Logan himself is on the functionality/rationality spectrum. The opposite end would be something like naivety or irrationality.

After that post, I made another a couple of months ago with 3 main points, the first being the opposite ends point. The other two points are just as important.

Point 2: It ties into the 3 monkeys theory

The recent episode confirmed the 3 monkeys theory, further solidifying this point. In case you live under a rock or are new to the Sanders Sides theories, the 3 monkeys theory is based on the whole "See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil" thing. The dark sides all have powers relating to each of these.

Janus has the ability to mute the sides (speak no evil), Remus has the ability to muffle the sides (hear no evil), and Orange has the ability to... make... their eyes pretty? I'm sure that we will get an actual explanation on how he influenced Logan in the future lol. Regardless, orange is definitely see no evil.

Now you may be asking, Indigo, how does this tie into irrationality?

Do you know what irrationality is? The inability to SEE the world clearly or to SEE reason or logic. Irrationality blinds you to reason itself. It makes sense, seeing as emotions are illogical and orange clearly did something to push Logan to an outburst. When orange provided his influence, Logan's eyes glowed orange, indicating he lost the ability to see purely logically. While, yes, orange did this with anger as a vessel, irrationality takes many forms.

Point 3: Color symbolism

Something that is frequently overlooked when fanders make theories about the sides is that each side ties into their color scheme in some way. Roman being red ties into him functioning as Thomas' romantic side, Patton's light blue tying into his gentle nature and trustworthiness, etc.

Orange is a color that is tied to joy and youth. Being naïve to the world around you crumbling down will often make you happier. While some naivety is great and can make you happy, in large doses it is a threat to your well being.

Point 3.5: How is this connection accurate?

A great deal of the plot in this episode, especially the endcard, showcases this irrational blindness to all of the issues the sides are having with each other. Throughout the episode, Logan keeps having to sacrifice his plan to help Thomas and then once Nico calls Thomas, Thomas doesn't know how hard it hurts Logan to once again be brushed off. In the endcard, Patton and Roman tell Logan that this is more important, not realizing how rejected Logan feels.

This isn't just happening with Logan either. Patton and Virgil have had some rising tension as of late as well. This is showcased the most clearly in this video when Virgil snaps at Patton and says "Oh thank goodness. You're giving him permission." sarcastically. Patton takes this as "I didn't know you would give him permission" whereas Virgil was meaning "He doesn't need your permission to feel good about this". Furthermore, each of the light sides have argued with each other individually in different episodes except for Virgil and Patton.

With Janus recently being more accepted, Remus appearing and hurting everyone, and the tension each of the main sides have... it's all going to fall apart. Nobody but the dark sides seem to notice this tension, not even Thomas. Why? Because they are being naïve. The orange side is either keeping them blissfully unaware or the very fact they are unaware is giving the orange side power.

What is the new point you mentioned?

This video with the orange side really got my gears turning. I began making connections that otherwise I didn't have the ability to make, or never happened to think of. The fact my theory has managed to hold up in a heavy orange side lore video only solidifies my confidence in this.

Point 4: The dark sides revolve around the truth

This theory is a little more of a stretch but if I'm right, then this is all the evidence I really need to confirm that orange is irrationality.

Janus is essentially the ring leader of the dark sides. He keeps them hidden until Thomas wants to be aware of them, with the potential exception of Virgil who we don't know when he was revealed to Thomas. However, each dark side has something in common besides witty remarks. They all center around the truth.

Janus and Remus are easier to figure out, seeing as Janus is literally the embodiment of lies and Remus has multiple times where it is obvious he provides the unfortunate truth. Remus being the bringer of truth is showcased multiple times, which I will only bullet point because this post is more-so about orange than him.

His line of "I would never hide anything from you."

Janus bit in Forbidden Fruit that goes "No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you."

Logan admitting Remus can help Thomas in his own way

Virgil on the other hand is harder. Unlike the other two, Virgil represents a completely different angle of this "truth theme". Virgil represents the fear of both the truth and the unknown. Why would Janus even need to even repress the dark sides in the first place if Thomas wasn't afraid of the truth that they were apart of him? Why would Thomas had admitted he didn't want there to be more dark sides after he asks if there were more of them if it were not fear he had more unwanted parts of him and fear of not knowing what they were?

Virgil knows Thomas' fears. This would have made admitting he was a dark side such a hard feat. If he felt Thomas was chill with the dark sides, Virgil could have instantly told Thomas he was in fact one of them. In a way, this makes Virgil the perfect bridge between the light and dark sides. The dark sides provide Thomas with the truth he needs or wants, and the light sides figure out how to handle it.

Point 4.5: What does this have to do with orange?

Orange would keep Thomas from the truth. While, yes, this is the exact same thing Janus does, Orange would do it another way. Janus makes Thomas unaware of the truth he KNOWS. Unconsciously, Thomas still knows what Janus hides. This makes it entirely different from how naivety works. Naivety would keep him from ever learning the information in the first place.

Furthermore, we saw that orange is potentially connected to Janus in some way. The very last thing we see in Working Through Intrusive Thoughts is the flash from Janus' eyes, to oranges eyes. This could be a slight hint at Janus and Oranges functions not being so far apart.

Or the writers just thought it would look neat. That too.

Is Logan the orange side?

I can say with almost 100% certainty the answer is no. We saw before each sides introduction, they manifested themselves in the other sides.

Janus silenced Roman in Accepting Anxiety Part 2, Remus manifested in Roman by giving him random unwanted outbursts (like the naked Aunt Patty line that Roman said he didn't know where it came from in the Christmas episode), and therefore it follows orange is manifesting in his own way.

Furthermore, Logan is not the type of character to turn evil. He has outbursts and is being beaten down but he would never snap for good. If anything, we have seen from Putting Others First that he would only appear as needed if he felt ignored.

Logan is not one to let his emotions make irrational decisions for long, and he almost always goes to make up for his mistakes the moment they happen. He always has Thomas' best interests at heart and has witnessed Virgil realizing force is not the way to go about it.

It makes no sense for his character and there is no reason for it to happen narratively.

Please note that this post is simply a theory and I do not wish to start arguments about if I am right or not. If you are going to provide counterclaims, please do so respectfully and do not clog my notes with your own essay. Thank you!