#if not tell me nd i will delete
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just
it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)
#text post#god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again#in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps#makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now#gonna sleep eventually#i think lmao#im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better#that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something#no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that#my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it#he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year#i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND#and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live#that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me#he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off#where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself#if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao#i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine#gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings#find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try#forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others
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Imma try to get to some of my inbox/dms today if I can... it's so clogged ahsjdn. I mean is there anyway to mass delete old asks cos...
#ceci speaks#nonsims#text#delete later#theres some from a whole ass year ago#im gonna answer a bunch of recent ones but so many are just like#old shit ya know#im never gonna get to them all even if theyre still relevant which most aint#if u asked me a wcif tho or sent me a request im sorry lmfao#ill try to save it#that aint even counting my 100+ drafts which are mostly asks i started to answer and forgot about#can i mass delete those too#THIS DONT INCLUDE MY DMS EITHER#sorry im nd idk what to tell u
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life can be a literal nightmare sometimes even when ur trying ur best to have fun and do well </3
#i love saying something without thinking abt it and completely missing something an ND person would get#and everyone has a reaction and ur sitting here trying to backtrack and feeling like every time you open your mouth it's a deeper grave#knowing that your friend is going to literally go talk to some other friend abt ur situation and ur gonna be helpless abt it#the thought makes me sick#i know my narrative is going to be taken away from me again#the whole thing has been. a nightmare#it feels so unfair when she said that she felt that way because what do you mean. what do you mean. the whole time i#i have been trying to make sure you're comfortable. i ask what you want. i ask if things are okay. i worried so much about you not knowing#it's not for my lack of asking and trying. i involved you in every decision making process. i tried to know what you wanted how you felt#but when you decided to pull the rug you didn't think how it would implicate me. there was no communication no trying#i had no say no context nothing just guilt and blame from other people for making you upset and not knowing why and i was expected to just#sit there Shut up and take it#and i did. i did. i did what you asked i did what you wanted#i made myself so small to the point it started to kill me#god. I've left you fucking alone. and still i have people telling me to avoid things and places bc of you.#how much smaller do i have to make myself?#i just know that by the end of the talk my friends have between Each other. the space I'm allowed to exist in will get smaller.#I'm going to have to behave in a more palatable way. be more quiet. live more quietly. die in a corner quietly.#I'm expected to ask for help from them but i can't have a breakdown in front of them because they can't take it.#I'm expected to rely on others but i can't ask them about this topic. i can't even talk about it.#it's good that i have. other things to keep me occupied. because or else this is suffocating. i don't want to be living like this#delete later
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i love posting cringe but im too shy to post cringe (my irls are watching) so i shld make a new acc jst for cringe
#this is ab tiktok btw#or i shld jst delete this acc tbh#imma b sheistygasm#nd ill b permanently masked up so u cnt tell it’s me
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there's "red flags" that I find soooooooo attractive in women but if a man does that to me we are throwing hands, I'm talking about REAL red flags like, toxic shit....... like over jealous, aggressive, mean, crazy girls. I'd be like noooo... baby stop hahaha don't.... 🤭
#had a crazy ex gf that would take my phone and delete contacts or telling people to stop talking 2 me nd shit......#ngl I loved that
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my brain: ok it's 11:02 we should go to bed
me: but tumblr
my brain: we wake up at 6 to go to school. time for bed.
me: but ao3. on the school computer
my brain: fair point. continue as you were.
#em rambles#if you couldn't tell i'm trying to go to bed but inside of me there are two wolves#one wants to stay up and read nd stevenson's catradora deleted scene fic#the other wants to sleep because it knows damn well that i'll be tired tomorrow#so uh yeah goodnight tumblr#goodnight my followers (most of whom i am mutuals with)
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˗ˏˋ ❜ Nah, don’t plan on it Bestie. You should like… totally come figure out how to make some like a little get together with me and some buddies. ❛ ´ˎ˗
#|📸| ~ 𝑨𝑫𝑨𝑴𝑺 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.#❪ if it isn't cool for me to just reply like this tell me nd ill delete this. ❫#<- ooc: IDM!!! GO CRAZY!!! I like to talk and rp w people all the time dwdw <3
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toji x dom! amab! reader
this is all i could conjure up..
cw ; hate sex? (idk theres no sex) , hair pulling , cock stepping , slapping , s & m themes , degradation , extremely rushed, just a long imagine thing..
imagine you nd toji never getting along- toji is hotheaded, stubborn, defiant, and crude. the kind of person you hate the most. the kind of person you want to break the most.
its v rare that the two of you have to work together, but when you do you have to try your best to keep your cool - because toji loses it rather quickly. you ask him to do one simple thing and he smirks at you with his chin tilted upwards, claiming he’d rather stick his dick in a bag of nails than have to listen to you. of course. this is the kind of person you hate the most.
he keeps the big boy act up, pretending like he’s better than you, ignoring you, casting you aside, and overall just pissing you off, and so, you lose your cool. of course you decide to confront him in an alleyway, pushing him against the wall with your forearm pressed harshly against his chest, the nails of your other hand digging into his waist.
“you gonna listen now?” you sneer, pressing your body weight against his. “or are you gonna keep being a fuckin prick?”
“the latter.” he states with a raise of his eyebrow. you sigh in annoyance and disgust, dropping your hands from him. “i thought so,” you begin, and the smirk that crawls across his face pisses you off to no end. “i’ll just have to make you.”
and your words catch him off guard, he also thinks you’re stupid, and he wants to laugh, but before he can even release a chuckle, your hand is shooting around his neck and gripping like a vice. he emits a shocked gasp as his head hits the wall behind him harshly and you can only grin in pride as you realize you’ve finally shut him up, but oh? whats this?
the tenting of his pants catches you slightly off guard, but the wet spot growing by the second completely throws you through a loop and its not long until your laughing in his face, a malicious grin covering your own.
“really? you, a masochistic bitch who gets off on being choked?” you snicker loudly, pressing your knee harshly against his cock and tightening your fingers against his throat, feeling the veins pop out against your palm. no sound can escape his mouth and you’re positive he can barely breathe- if at all, but you couldn’t care less.
you swipe at his trembling legs, causing him to drop to his knees, letting go of his throat in favor of grabbing his hair, lifting him by it so he’s kneeling straight- and you’re not surprised by the slutty moan that escapes his mouth in between all of his sputtering and gasps for air.
“what a pathetic man.. wants to act all big and strong but in reality you’re just a little whore that wants to be tossed around, hm?” you ask, stepping on his stomach and pulling his hair tight.
“maybe i’ll make good use of you..” you mumble, moving your foot to his crotch and sliding your hand from his hair to grip his face, moving his head from side to side as if you were inspecting him.
toji whines loudly, his hips canting against your shoe as he grits his teeth.
“you’d like that, huh? want me to slap you around, maybe fuck you ‘nd leave you here, red and blue?”
toji’s eyes roll back at the thought and you’re slapping him across the face before he can even react.
“c’mon, tell me what you want me to do.”
“y-i want that- fuck!” he gasps, gripping onto your pant leg as you push his head into your crotch, your pants button and zipper scratching his face.
“suck it and ride my shoe, then i’ll think about it.”
who knew dragging toji down to a lowly whore was so easy.
enjoy?? this is no where near what i wanted to write originally but i might make an actual fic on this, idk i lost my motivation after accidentally deleting my in progress one </3
#☆ shuowrites#sub toji#sub jjk#top amab reader#top reader#dom reader#sub toji fushiguro#top gn reader#top male reader#sub character#toji x top reader#idk idk idk idk
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Hi! I just wanted to say how much I love your blog and tell you that it's magical.
I have ADHD and autism, aka the "I Have to Explain Everything in Excrutiating Detail to Make Sure I’m Never Misunderstood™" disease.
So I've written multiple asks to you, but I've sent none of them. Because as I try to explain my problem and exactly what's going on in my story, I write like 20 paragraphs, and then I go "Well, maybe I should give them options for how to solve my problem, and then they can help pick which one might work?"
And then, since I've been writing for so long, I have to take a break to go to the bathroom or let my dogs out or something and then I come back, look at what I wrote, and then realize:
The "problem" was not actually a problem and I was overthinking everything and being silly.
By explaining Every Single Problem Ever in depth, I realize that now that I've written exactly what the problem is, it's so much easier to find an answer.
So thank you, you're answering my questions without me having to even send them in lmao
I feel this so much! ♥ LITERALLY me.
And, you've stumbled onto one of my favorite tricks, too, which is talking things out, even if just with myself or my pet or a stuffed animal. As I think I shared in a previous ask, I've even been known to pretend I'm being interviewed on a podcast. Today, I had a conversation with air on my cellphone in the car (hands free) to talk out a frustration I had at a store but didn't want to complain about, and just talking about it out loud got it sorted out in my head and let me move on from it. And this works for writing, too.
IDK... is it an ND thing? Maybe, but I'd imagine NT people can benefit from this, too.
So, YAY!!! I'm so glad the phantom of my looming potential advice was able to help you answer your own question!!! :D ♥
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here
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☆,
mmm, a kaneki that knows you’re his..? like you guys can fall out, stop talking, take breaks, fuck with other people openly; but even if you did.. he just knows that it takes one call for you to be right back at his place.
even if kaneki is fucking another girl, he literally has your fucken lips tatted on his lower abdomen, with your name above it. every other girl has to see it, whether they like it or not.
don’t think ken is nice nd sweet to them either. he gives no kisses, no gentle touches, kind words, or even aftercare. why would he..? he’s not obligated to. there’s been times that you’ve literally texted him midfuck, & he wasted no time in leaving.
“fuck- i gotta go..”
“i- what..? go where??”
“mind your business”
“kaneki.. you’re gonna go see y/n huh? cmon now. just stay with me”
“are you fucking stupid?” & then he’s sliding on his clothes & putting his shoes on before he’s literally going 100 in a 50 to see what his sweet girl wants.
sometimes you like your guys’ dynamic. especially when he gets extra jealous or overprotective. there was a time he caught you with a hickey that he hadn’t given you. you seriously fucked up posting a selfie a day after having seen urie.
kaneki was quick to call you.
“stop letting ugly ass little boys ruin how pretty you are, okay? cover that up & delete the story, now y/n. i love you” & the line would end.
you'd be rolling around your floor GIGGLINGGG. it was just something about the way he said everything so calmly too.
ken's lowkey like a crazy ex that you can't get rid of. trust, there's been times where you wanted to be done, where you were tired of the toxicity, tired of the arguments & the constant disagreements. you just blocked him completely & stayed away from home for a week or so.
.. only to be met with him sleeping in your bed when you finally arrived back home. he had even brought a duffle bag of clothes!! i mean.. the audacity this fucking man has.
he said he wasn't gonna leave until you guys talked & resolved all your issues. it was easy for him to sweet talk you. though, if he felt himself failing, he'd talk to your parents & say you were acting out.
this would lead to your mother calling you, "are you okay? has kaneki done something to make you upset? why're you shutting him out?"
he's doing anything to make sure your mom thinks of him as nothing but a complete sweetheart, because at the end of the day.. all he really wants to do is love you.
best believe the make up sex is amazing too, boy will have you running from the dick, practically sobbing over it. sometimes it's mean.
you'll be ready for a break, ready to just lie down & sleep.. you think he's done more than enough. yet he fully believes otherwise.
"alright baby, just lay down.. you don't have to do anything" & then he's pulling your legs apart & settling his head between them with his arms hooking your thighs to make sure you're not gonna run.
trust in the after care being the sweetest ever, though. he's telling you how good you did & how proud of you he is. then he gets you all cleaned up & pulls the covers over you bc he knows you're gonna be knocked in just a couple more minutes or even seconds.
you're with him for life! whether you like it or not.
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if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out
i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)
i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it
iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly
evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.
having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:
baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game
middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.
high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]
college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now
joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.
as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.
i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.
so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.
#ask#pariskim#charlie kelly#joyce kelly#ramblings#i hav lots of thoughts nd feelings nd smday ill draw out charlie's whole timeline th way iv ben meaning to#th same way charlie holds th gang togethr charlie holds my whole viewpoint of iasip togethr#i gave myself a headache writing this post i spent more time xplaining my years of tboy charlie thinking than joyce im sry lmao#but i do lov her
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Void , Law Of assumption , Non Dualism
🇨🇴🇦🇨🇭🇮🇳🇬
Hello loviess! 💗 I hope u all are doing well <3
As I mentioned that I've switched to Non Dualism but if I'll find anything helpful realated to the void then I'll definitely post it , so here u go
A lot of u have been requesting me to give void coaching but as y'all know I'm not into it but here is this girl named soya on instagram who gives coaching for void , loa and non dualism . Back in 2022 she used to give coaching to people but then she deleted her acc and took a long longg break... but she's back again :) I know all this because I myself took coaching from her and she's so damn intelligent . She helped me to manifest a lot of things before I entered void .. she's the one who made Loa click for me 💗 So I can say for sure that she's a brilliant coach fr , we became friends too 😭!! That's why I wanted to introduce her to all of you btw she writes book on loa also
She had a lot of success stories from her coaching and she posted them too but as I mentioned before going on a hiatus she deleted her account ( she had a YouTube channel with 14k + subs too but she deleted that also ) but but but .... I'm so clever 😸 Actually I took screenshots of some of her clients success story
I've few more screen shots , if u wanna see for reassurance then u can dm me :)
she's is amazinggg fr , if u are willing to take coaching from her then lemme tell you there are 99% chances that u are gonna come with a success story but that 1% entirely depends on you if u are really willing to change your life and put some effort or not !! And one more thing u guys absolutely don't have to worry about whether she's fake or real , I can assure you that she's 101% Real so just chill , if u believe me then u can believe her <3
Simplified :
How can I take coaching ?
1. Dm soya on her Insta acc - spritual_soya
2. You will have to pay $23.98
3. Congrats! Done , now u can get coaching from her and you better be ready for your dream life <3
She gives every kind of coaching like void, loa, nd, shifting, money, sp, sc, vc etc...
I did my work , I shared this info so u guys can finally get your desires now it's up to you !
This can be your last push <3🌷
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–18+ LIFE RANT WRITER THOUGHTS & GIRL TALK
listen yall we are about to get REALL personal im not sober from a houseparty i had last night playing Drinkopoly and if we gonna be writer besties LISTEN UP
so i have a fling. or an attempted flingy..situation rn. i havent seen him in nearly 2months now bc first month he had a situation and i went to uni!
but my GOD...THE PINING BETWEEN US? I NEED TO DIEE GUYS. i initiated the fling first (i sweet talked the hell out of him i love making men intimidated) and then never got to kiss him or see him or ANYTHING bc he had a srs situation going on. so now its just huge horny pining between us and texting bc his car is in another state rn and im at university AND THE FLING WAS SUPPOSED TO STOP WHEN I GOT TO UNI BUT I CONTINUED IT BC IDK KFNDJFBD ANYWAYS GUYS WHEN I TELL YOU OVULATION WAS KILLING ME AND THE URGES CARRIED INTO MY CYCLE AND I JUST CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM HE'S SO CUTE AND DORKY AND MAKES ME FLUSTERED SO BAD URRGHGKGKFKFG
his hands ..his arms..i love arms on a man so much i want them around me after a brief round of play fighting and he's jus holding me securely so i dont run.. they arent too veiny and his hands r soft and well kept and he has tattooes on his forearms of an artist we both love and i jus want to JUMP HIS BONES.
he has thee best, dorkiest smile and his laugh is so contagious its so silly and HES SO SILLY.
i dont care if we are the same height and he's a..not bigger guy..but like samoan-man build if YK WHAT I MEAN....samoans r big but not BIG. he jus has that masc bigger build and when he wears his work uniform and sends a video in it i pay no attention to the words spoken. errfgggngngfnffnnfnfnffnfndnhnhhnhnhn please pick me up and sit me on the counter omfggmg
AND OUR FIRST 2 HANGOUTS HE WAS HELPING ME W THINGS AND HE SPOKE SOFTLY AND IN SUCH A PRAISING WAY "there you go, you got it." "its okay youre doing good" IT TRIGGERED MY DENYING PRAISE KINK SO BAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭SO😭😭BAD😭😭😭 WE WERE DRINKING AND I SHOULDA JUS KISSED HIM THERE
he's the flirty type to tease you gently and so smoothly guys lemme show you texts (i have samsung so 🙄)
*bella is his dog i would die for her
BUT LOOK?? ISNT THST WAY OF FLIRTING?? SO HOT AND LEAVES YOU YEARNING FOR MORE??? URFGGKGGNG i need him under me moaning and whimpering and trembling RAAAAAHHH FUCK.
i keep imagining sharing beers with him again and kissin him as slowly as possible and he yearns for more but i back up nd he leans in even more trying to capture my lips till he grabs my waist with one hand and my jaw with the other forcing me to kiss him as he is getting impatient jus groaning into my mouth after waiting so long to kiss me eehehehehehehehee
or he just using me and im facing away from him and holds my hips as they meet with every thrust and reaches forward to put his hand over my mouth saying "awh i know baby... i know.." AGGGGGGHGHH
i think im done. i think. this will deleted whenever LFMAOAOA
#raven talks#archie madekwe#saltburn fanfiction#tags r for interaction sorryz#farleigh saltburn#im a yapper when you get to know me
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guys I accidentally deleted the essay I wrote in my drafts bc I’m an idiot (I’m crying) so I’m just gonna summarize in less words bc whatever I’m not typing several more paragraphs on this. Anyway I just had to say that I feel like there’s an ableism problem in the Stranger Things fandom. Either that or this fandom just doesn’t like when characters show obvious neurodivergent traits. We see this with El being either infantilized or deemed annoying by fans when she’s clearly developmentally impaired and autistic because she struggles with understanding social cues and just wants to be normal and fit in like everyone else. She was raised in a lab, obviously she’s going to be immature and not have a strong handle on her emotional responses to things, and you don’t have to like her but it kinda sucks that she’s being hated for these things when I can relate to her so much. We also see this with Mike, and I feel like the people calling him the worst character are forgetting he’s literally just a teenage boy dealing with trauma. Like it’s as if they were never a teenager before because trust me I was just like Mike at that age if not worse. I’ll admit I used to hate him too but maturing is realizing the reasons people dislike Mike can easily be explained by either internalized homophobia or neurodivergence. He’s a bad friend? It’s because he’s trying so hard to appear straight and struggles to balance his relationships in a healthy manner, and he often speaks before thinking about how what he’s saying comes across to others, which is something many autistics/ people with ADHD do, not because we mean to hurt others but we can often be blunt or brutally honest and come across as rude (or even just lash out when we feel attacked or hurt as a way to defend ourselves but it often comes out harsher than we want it to) in my experience. He’s a bad boyfriend? He’s actually not and even then it’s because he’s gay and not in love with El but just doesn’t want to lose her. Besides he doesn’t have a great model for what a loving relationship looks like because of his parents so he may not be able to differentiate between romantic and platonic love and stays in a relationship that he’s clearly not happy in because of societal pressure to appear straight and it would be suspicious (in his mind) if they broke up because a) El literally is the coolest girl on the planet, how could he not love her and b) he loses his cover and people might start to notice and question his lack of attraction to girls. But not only that, he clearly struggles with describing and expressing his emotions or recognizing those of others (aka alexythemia) which is common in autistic people. So if he didn’t notice El’s obvious discomfort at the skating rink that’s probably why, and it’s also why he couldn’t tell her he loved her (bc it was a lie but I digress).
But perhaps the best example and the reason I decided to make this rant post is Robin’s character in s4. I remember seeing so many people saying that once the writers decided to make her lesbian they realized they didn’t know what to do with her character, some even going as far as to say they made her ditzy and stripped her of her coolness, which basically proves my point about y’all (as in the fandom in general) not liking ND people because god forbid we unmask around you, it’s no wonder so many of us feel afraid to be our true selves in front of other people. It’s almost as if she was hiding behind a persona to seem more normal and not draw unwanted attention to herself because she’s a lesbian, and once she came out to Steve and was accepted she… didn’t have to do that anymore? She felt more comfortable and safe around him to show her true personality? I don’t know but there’s something off about the way people are acting like she’s suddenly dumb or just there for comedic effect in s4 when she’s literally been so useful like she’s the one who realized music could save victims from being possessed by vecna. She’s literally the same except now she’s out to someone and she gets nervous when it comes to girls she likes, big fucking deal. Not only is this mischaracterization ludicrous and flat out wrong but it’s quite upsetting to see as someone who can relate to Robin in season 4 and is also autistic. Yes, not everyone with autism is like that but some are and to say she’s no longer cool because of it just enforces the perception of autistics as weird and unlikeable just for simply being themselves and makes us feel like we can only be liked or taken seriously if we keep the mask on.
look at me I said I would keep it brief this time but I still ended up writing an entire wall of text on this anyway lol thanks for coming to my Ted talk ig
#byler#mike wheeler#stranger things#literally mike wheeler#actually autistic#neurodiversity#gay#lesbian#robin buckley#eleven hopper#character analysis#sorry for the rant#but it actually pisses me off#like a lot
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that blurb u posted but decided to take out of the chapter literally me giggling, kicking my feet, and rolling around in my bed omfg Kami please YOU KNOWWWWW HOW CHOSO GETS MEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
-☃️
Well if that’s the case, here’s a blurb I deleted from the Christmas chapter…
It was after sex w Choso but he was eager for more, yes things are missing but it’s just a blurb ><
Here’s 1k words of Choso thirsting for you. It’s smut btw, just not finished so you may feel edged in the end :3
“That’s what the fuck I thought,” Choso scoffs and then goes back to what he was doing, parting your legs nice and wide enough for his head to go between them.
Your cunt was already wet again from his moment of being commanding. You didn’t even realize how hot you found that until he pointed it out.
“Damn,” Choso chuckles, “Look at her,” He moves a hand and spreads your folds apart to watch the way your liquids glisten. The tip of his cock leaks at the sight, enough precum flowing out that the male almost thought he was experiencing an orgasm already.
Looking at you made his dick so hard and his mouth was watering like crazy, so much so that he was almost drooling already.
“Choso please don’t talk to my pussy like it’s a person,” You say jokingly.
He bites his lip as he stares at your sex, “I can’t help it, baby. She talks to me so I talk to her.” Choso says before slipping his thumb in between your folds. He doesn’t push it in but instead, collects some of your moisture on his skin, hearing you let out a breath of air, “She’s always so wet f’me… ‘nd soft, ‘nd warm…” He comments.
You release a subtle whine, “S-Stop talking…”
Choso’s thumb slides up to your clit and he applies a little bit of pressure, “Why? She likes it when I talk to her,” He continues.
You bite back any sounds that threaten to come out.
“Look at her,” He murmurs, tipping his head to the side, “You’ miss me, princess?” The way he’s talking makes your body twitch in both embarrassment and arousal, the movement not going unnoticed by Choso, “See? I told you she talks to me.”
“Choso-“ Your voice drowns out when the man moves both of his thumbs to your folds and spreads you apart, quickly pressing his tongue to your wetness. “Mmh… w-wait-“
His tongue swipes up and he presses the muscle down as if to really allow your liquids to simmer on his tongue. Then, he pulls away and sighs, “Y’know, I’m surprised you haven’t said anything yet…”
“A-About what?” You whisper, your eyes up on the ceiling as you wonder how you went from thinking about taking a break to here.
Choso takes his hands off you and moves to get off the couch for a minute. “You haven’t noticed something’s missing?” He asked, “Babe, we made out several times already…”
Babe? That’s… new? You ignore it, “Okay…?”
“My feelings are starting to get hurt, y’know…” Choso says with a purposeful pout as he makes his way over to a bag of his. You see him reach into it and then pull out another item, unable to tell exactly what he’s doing due to the lighting.
“I’m confused, what’s missing?” You ask as you start to sit up.
“Don’t move,” Choso voices out. His back is to you so you have no idea how the hell he knew you were repositioning yourself but you freeze and then lay back down, “And now I’m disappointed…”
Your brows furrow, “Cho, just tell me what’s missing?”
You could see his arms moving but you really didn’t know what he was doing. Then, he puts something back into his bag and turns around to you. Choso walks right back over to you and he waits a moment before getting on the couch, simply looking down at you.
You stare up for a moment, glance down at his erection for a moment, a moment longer than intended because his dick is huge, and looking at it distracts you, and then before you even think about looking up, he’s talking.
“Eyes up here, pretty girl,” Choso says.
You glance up and the man then sticks his tongue out. That was when you remembered that cursed piercing of his. The same piercing that’s had you weak all over for quite some time. How could you forget such a thing?
The male closes his mouth and then moves to get on top of you, “Y’know I took it out not too long after I left,” He informs you, “Haven’t put it back in since.” He says, settling in between your legs again.
Your brows furrow, “Why would you-“
His lips press into your cunt abruptly and you let out a breathy sigh. Then, Choso smirks, “Keep talkin’ princess, don’t mind me.”
“I c-can’t talk when you-,” He does it again. This time, his lips part over you and his tongue is slipping in between your folds within seconds, “Fuck…”
There it is, there’s that damn piercing of his tickling you. And it’s fucking cold, contrasting your warmth and making you shudder. Choso licks at your sex a few times before his hands move again. He uses both of his thumbs to spread your folds for a second time and then dives right in.
His tongue smears against your pussy and you can’t help the quiet moan that leaves you. “C-Choso… hah…”
He curls his tongue up as he licks you, forcing your taste into his mouth right before he pulls away to speak, “What? Jus’ give me five minutes…” He grumbles, not even looking up at you as the little taste he got was enough to have him hungry for you, “I missed eating you out so fucking much.” Choso breathes.
You don’t get the chance to respond as his mouth latches onto your cunt again. This time he sucks and slurps your taste into his mouth, gulping loudly and shamelessly as he drinks in your moisture. A groan leaves his throat at the way your taste flows into his mouth and you release a whine.
“Baby…” Choso grunts, “Let me do this til’ you fall asleep.” He requests.
“You said five minutes…”
“I wanna’ eat til’ my jaw locks again.”
Yes, yes he said again. He’s done it before. Three times actually.
“Choso what is up with you? Shouldn’t you be tired?”
He stops for a moment and finally looks up to your eyes, “Baby, let me make you feel good.”
Sorry not sorry for edging y’all w this💀
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