#if me saying I was autistic was a bad thing

[flyflutterby]

The leaks leave me so confused tbh

Ochako isn’t raising her pinkie to avoid floating Deku during that leaked reconnection moment and she wasn’t wearing the gloves that would make that unnecessary. (Also, people are saying it’s the last panel of the epilouge, yet it doesn’t have the usual ending box.)

Jirou has both her ear-jacks in some of the leaks and some characters are missing scarring. There’s one panel where Bakugou’s hand is drawn from an odd angle that lowkey does not look good posing wise (Horikoshi is usually a GOD of drawing and posing hands, so I legit thought that was a fan drawing, until someone said it was apparently a leak?) Also, Todoroki’s face looks like it changes in structure between some of the leaks, but maybe I’m just imagining that?

Then there’s Deku rejecting Bakugou’s offer to join his hero agency so he can keep teaching. It feels like yet again he’s copying All Might to his own detriment, because even if he likes teaching, his arc, focus and drive has always been heroism. All Might becoming a teacher was because his whole thematic purpose was to pass the torch on that would lead everyone into a brighter future. Deku’s motivation has always been to save people as a hero. Furthermore, even if you don’t ship BakuDeku, they have always been thematically tied as heroes.

“Win to save and save to win.”

Wasn’t the whole point of Deku’s narrative was that he was going to destroy himself if he kept going it alone? Yet, he’s pushing Bakugou away after everything is done (Kirishima apparently even jokes that Bakugou got rejected/dumped? Probably not an accurate translation but STILL-!) Izuku feels flanderised, borderline OOC. Bakugou looks so fucking sad and resigned too. I want better for him as a character I watched grow over the years as I read the manga.

To clear things up, I ship BakuDeku, but I wasn’t expecting canonicity.

My problem is that I love platonic IzuOcha. Maybe a part of my reason for liking them was projection, but that’s what media is about. Enjoyment, interpretation and discourse. I can only speak to personal experience.

I lost a friendship with a guy as a young gay girl because people kept joking/insisting I liked him romantically. I pulled away like Ochako did, doubted my sexuality and tried to convince myself the awkwardness was butterflies, before finally coming back to sense. I did not get my friend back after things broke down. I yearned so bad for subversion, for a platonic IzuOcha that overcame the silliness (implanted by a girl who shipped All Might and Midnight because they stood next to each other during the Sports Festival and All for One’s literal spy at the time) to become best goddamned friends and great heroes. It just felt like Ochako didn’t think of Deku like that until someone else said it to her (very much teenaged behaviour).

I initially loved the reconnection scene as their friendship being cemented, as them drunkenly coming together to realise they missed each other. I thought it was so sweet and I was so HAPPY. I read it as drunk but platonic.

Then people kept saying this confirmed IzuOcha canon romantically. I fell down a rabbit hole. I ran through a gambit of all sorts to shitty emotions before I regulated myself to write this.

I’m tired and confused, my dudes. I’m going to stick to my little corner once I got this out. I got exams to prepare for, life to live and a loving girlfriend to hug. Still kinda upset, but my weird, autistic, gay ass can heal.

Stay hydrated and healthy x

[drdemonprince]

So I met a guy on a dating app. He’s also Autistic and we have a lot in common. Really hit it off and after some conversation he’s like To be honest I’m not looking for a relationship and I have someone else I really like but she’s not wanting a full on relationship either so we’re looking at ENM or maybe Poly but if that’s not your thing I understand. So I’m a bit disappointed but he’s sweet so I’m like ok let’s be friends.

Then it almost immediately gets sexual and we talk a lot about kink and fetish stuff that we seem pretty aligned with. Which is rare. We sexted a bit and it was great.

But today he told me he’s going on a date with someone. It’s actually a chick I also met off the the same app (I’m bi) but that didn’t bother me. What did bother me was that I got this instant reaction like upset that he was going on a date. It triggered something in me.

Not mad at all with him as he’s been super honest. But didn’t anticipate my own reactions.

So now I have to decide if I stop talking to him and let this go or if I try to move past it and enjoy the positive sides of our friendship.

We had tentative plans to meet in a few weeks time (we don’t live super close to each other). As a date but not a date.

Now I’m super confused about what to do. Especially as I really don’t meet many people that I vibe with and share similar “interests” with etc.

Just not entirely sure I’m built for the whole sharing thing…

Respectfully, it sounds like this dude fucking sucks ass at polyamory and doesn't know what the hell he's doing, and you're gonna get hurt.

First of all, he told you that he was poly because he is down bad for someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with him? And so what, he's using his other dating partners as some kind of emotional or sexual stopgap?

That's objectifying and downgrading his potential future partners, including you, from the very start -- and it's setting you up to always be in the position of offering him temporary succor from the unrequited desires he has for this other person, only to be sidelined when she IS giving him a lot of attention. Sure, it's great he's being honest or whatever -- but the situation he's inviting you into is honestly disrespectful. You were disappointed to learn about this situation from the start. That feeling is an important signal! He's made it clear that he's not actually emotionally available and will NOT be consistent with you, and believes he has no reason to be.

It's also quite telling that after he established the nature of his relationship with this other person, he pivoted to getting very overtly sexual with you. This makes me wonder a lot about the woman he is pining away for, and what the terms of their relationship is according to her. (because if they're agreeing to get ENM or poly together, that's a relationship! Even if she says it's not a relationship).

Did she tell him that she cares about him but that she doesn't want to fuck him? Is she just less available than he'd like her to be, in terms of time and number of dates? What the hell is this arrangement between the two of them, how much of it was her proposal versus his idea, and where the hell do you fit in in all that?

If two people aren't fully sexually compatible and both parties want to explore sex and kink outside of their relationship to one another, that's fine; I'm living in that situation and it works great. But you have to approach prospective sexual partners with equal respect as you would your pre-existing partner (or whatever the hell she is to him, since they say they're not in a relationship?), and be clear about what you are and are not available for. It seems to me he asked you to be some kind of non-monogoamous, not-exactly-romantic-but-intimate "friends" with one another, and then tried to transition you into being a kinky sex partner once you expressed you could work with that.

I don't mean to remove your agency from this or act as if this is all something he is doing "to" you, because you expressed some interest in him and said the sexual connection is there. But... how much of this arrangement or how any of this is going has had anything to do with you or your stated preferences? Are you just going along with the flow because he seems nice and you want to see some possibilities there and for each new curveball he's throwing you, you're having to find some new way to justify it and make sense of it? What about what you want? What about your feelings? Why do you not get to determine what the relationship even is or where it is going, and he does? Because he's not getting what he wants elsewhere? That's not a good reason. That has nothing to do with you.

It makes sense to me, in light of what a mess his handling of this has been, that when you found out he was also pursuing other casual sexual partners that you felt jealous. Perhaps seeing him seeking out other non-committal, kind of formless sexual encounters with other people made you worry that you were being seen and treated by him in the same way, or that you were basically just a cog he was trying to slot into place for the time being. Or maybe you already felt on some level that you weren't given primacy in your relationship -- because this is a relationship of a kind! -- and now you have to worry about a whole other person who he has his own feelings for and agendas about altering how he relates to you.

You're not in the driver's seat in this relationship, hell you're not even really being consulted -- he's just making decisions about the various women in his life that he's trying to have meet needs for him and plugging them in and out of those roles as it suits him. The actual arrangement you all have entered into could be completely fine if all parties actively wanted it and had clarity and control over their own positions -- I'm a non-monogamous but *not* polyamorous person who dates people casually, and so i explicitly seek out others who are looking only for casual sex, that kind of stuff is fine -- but instead, this guy seems to be just making his choices up on the fly based on when he's horny, or lonely, or who is around and easy to get to.

I think you're giving a lot more latitude to him than he deserves, here. I'm not saying you need to dump him if you don't want to, if the sex seems like it could be fun you should go for it -- but on your terms. What do YOU want out of this connection? How do you see it? How much quality time, consistency, and commitment do you need? How comfortable are you with being non-monogamous and what kind of non-monogamy do you actively *want*? Do you see this guy as a friend? A casual partner (but a partner nonetheless)? A fuckbuddy?

There's a significant distance between you two, you two have been talking a lot, you call him a friend, and you call your plans to get together a "date." This is a relationship, whether he likes to admit it or not, and that comes with responsibilities to treat one another well and be honest, and to respect the other person's needs. And he doesn't seem to be showing any sense of responsibility toward the people he is in relationships with, and maybe doesn't even see them as relationships at all? He might seem nice, but the way he is navigating all of this is very selfish and instrumentalizes other people -- and so I think you should listen to that feeling you have of insecurity, because it's signalling that he's put you in a very insecure place.

Tagging in my homie @pastimperfection who always enjoys yelling about people doing poly badly

[jellypawss]

I remember going for my first therapist appointment in YEARS and the lady said (keep in mind less than thirty minutes talking to me) “I don’t think you’re autistic, you don’t really fit the bill”

MAAM IM WAS ALREADY DIAGNOSED, never saw her again

it makes me laugh because it was at a high school based doctors office (I’m 26) and I was covered in sweat playing with all the fidget toys in her room talking about my favorite monkey (it’s the golden snub nosed monkey if you were curious)

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[cams-cozy-corner]

Statement I feel needs to be said, headcanoning a character as an age regressor is NOT the same as infantilizing them

[beebfreeb]

Little things about Marcille make me so so so sick. Reading a book with the first character that's anything like you at all in even a somewhat respectable way and falling in love. She doesn't know anything about the food her mother grew up eating. She is subtly different from her peers and has never been sure where she fits in. AND despite those experiences she still falls victim to prejudiced thinking. She and Kabru should be besties who verbally fight like rabid dogs.

[skrunksthatwunk]

actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.

he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.

a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).

but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.

and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.

he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.

and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal

[autismcultureis]

Autism culture is getting annoyed at your partner sometimes for really liking your special interest. Like GET AWAY, that is MY THING!!! Feeling possessive of your special interests is so tough.

!!!!

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy

[saturnniidae]

"I should've seen the signs" I feel like Stoick was basically reliving the way he lost Valka.

To him, after a lifetime of wanting nothing but to kill a dragon, Hiccup's suddenly and inexplicably changed his mind. To him, Hiccup saying he can't kill them is just like when Valka refused to and tried convincing others as well, then as a result was 'killed' by one herself.

To him, way Hiccup tossed his weapon and shield to the side then approached Hookfang while speaking about how dragons aren't what people think they are probably bares an uncomfortable resemblance to the way Valka put down her weapon and stared a dragon in the eyes and as a result was taken.

To him, attempting to do anything but preemptively defend yourself against a dragon will only end in tragedy, so he has to do anything he can to stop Hiccup before it's too late.

(And just like with Valka, he unintentionally escalated the situation by trying to protect Hiccup but only agitated the dragon, causing it to panic and react, inadvertently putting someone he loves in danger. again)

Stoick of course, wasn't acting rationally, but it makes sense when you think about how traumatizing Valka's 'death' must've been for him (and how much Hiccup reminss him of her); he watched her get taken, presumably killed, and couldn't do anything about it.

[frutavel]

Flirting (?)

[stellewriites]

really fucking grinds my gears how my dad knows just how to make me feel fucking guilty for putting up boundaries and saying no

[justablah56]

mannn being hyper fixated on dndads means that I haven't had a little high int low wis autistic nerd to project on for like . two years . that's so fucked man . you're gonna look me in my eyes and tell me you have three seasons and not one single weird little brainiac who is the biggest dumbass you've ever seen . the closest I've got here is nicholas . and I love him *so* much but he exists for like 4 episodes . maybe Terry but like . that's *all* fanon Terry . he isn't like that in canon . I've been starving out here you guys .

[carnagechicken]

Sometimes I wonder why I'm such a weird person and then I remember that my dad's a goalie

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

[natjennie]

ever since I was a little girl I knew I would be ostracized from my peers and, by accident and without knowing why, cultivate a life for myself in which I don't know how to interact with other people in any capacity without being supremely uncomfortable and self-conscious.