#if loop ever finds out they’ll be. so normal. trust.

[sifs-right-eye]

Been rotating a self insert esque isekai story where the universe pulls someone from our world into isat to be the “help” that loop asked for post-game after complicated circumstances surrounding that persons death. Except they have no idea what’s going on bc that mf never communicates and are just fumbling around the entire time. Emotional support universe assigned random weirdo stranger who keeps talking about Netflix and TV’s.

[heyitssmiller]

Clandestine: Chapter Nine

Another cliffhanger? Me? Nah. 

All characters belong to @lumosinlove

@donttouchmycarrots is the best and I love her so much. She also inspired a lot of this chapter’s angst, so it’s not all my fault this time! <3

CW: violence, blood/injuries, guns/gun violence

Clandestine Masterlist

.

Sirius woke up alone. This in and of itself wasn’t unusual, until he remembered the events of the night before. Wandering hands, soft, needy sighs, and warm lips that kissed him and kissed him and kissed him. He rolled onto his stomach and smothered himself with his pillow to hide the smile that took over his entire face, heart beating giddily in his chest. That happened.

Holy shit.

But that begged the question: where was he?

Sirius stayed in bed for a few moments, thinking that maybe Remus was coming back, but then he got too impatient and crawled out of bed to go searching. If he was camped out in front of that laptop again this early… but no. He was standing in front of the stove, prodding at the contents of a frying pan. The smell of coffee reached Sirius and he smiled again as he entered the kitchen, making sure his footsteps were loud enough for Remus to hear - that way it wasn’t a surprise when he came to stand behind Remus and wrapped his arms around his waist, hooking his chin on his shoulder to watch what was happening on the stove. 

A general rule of dating a spy - don’t sneak up on them. It tends to end badly.

“Morning.” Sirius mumbled, turning his head to press a lingering kiss to a tendon in Remus’ neck and smiling against warm skin. Remus hummed, leaning back into Sirius’ chest and angling his neck to give him better access. That simple, innocuous motion stole Sirius’ breath. Remus didn’t trust easily - Sirius could understand why, given everything he’d been through. But there he was, relaxed against Sirius, eyes closed, completely trusting. Sirius wasn’t exactly sure what to do with something so precious, but damn he really didn’t want to screw this up. So he continued to place kiss after kiss to Remus’s skin, finding a ticklish spot right below his ear that made him laugh and squirm in Sirius’ arms before he shoved him away, a wide, happy smile on his face.

Had Sirius ever been this happy before? He doubted it.

“So what’s for breakfast, chef?” He asked, peering at the frying pan. Remus turned the stove off and grabbed plates from the cabinet by the fridge while Sirius grabbed silverware and napkins. It was incredibly domestic. Sirius couldn’t get enough of it.

“Scrambled eggs, toast, and coffee. Nothing gourmet, but it’s the best I can do.” He answered as he scooped eggs out of the frying pan and grabbed toast from the toaster, then handed the plate to Sirius. They took their plates to the tiny kitchen table, along with the coffee and creamer and jams before sitting down to eat.

It was… nice. Their relationship had changed a lot the night before, but it was easy - a seamless transition from friends to more. He’d always assumed there would be some awkwardness with a big change like that, but it felt normal. Remus still teased him for how he took his coffee, Sirius still kicked him for it. They went over their plans for the day and what they wanted to get done. The ease of it all made Sirius wonder just how long they’d been teetering over that precipice.

It also made him feel guilty, how happy he was when his brother was still trapped with the Snakes and Finn still missing. Remus seemed to recognize his shift in emotion and smiled sadly, reaching across the table to tangle their hands together.

“We’re going to figure something out.” He said quietly before taking a sip of coffee, not once letting go of Sirius’ hand but playing with his fingers absentmindedly. It made it a bit tricky to eat, but Sirius couldn’t say he minded one bit.

He hoped Remus was right.

***

“Update?” Talker asked as soon as Remus and Sirius entered the office, looking tired. He kept pace with them as they walked, eager for a response. He and Finn were pretty close, constantly cracking jokes and trading jabs and playing pranks. But then again, Finn was a very outgoing guy - he was pretty close with a lot of people.

Sure enough, as they rounded the corner they found a gathering of people outside Remus’ office, all friends. All worried.

And a stranger standing next to Kasey, watching them as they approached. Red hair, brown eyes, faint freckles.

Remus didn’t have to ask who he was.

He stuck his hand out for the agent to shake. “O’Hara.”

Alex shook his hand briefly, soulful eyes a myriad of warring emotions. “Please tell me what the hell is going on.”

Remus looked at him, then the rest of the people around his office. They all needed to know what was going on, but he felt like Alex deserved the chance to hear this on his own, without the prying eyes of a bunch of strangers.

Sirius seemed to know exactly what he needed. It was like a sixth sense. “Lions, to the conference room! I’ll tell you what we know.” He gave Remus a warm smile, one that he was helpless to return. Last night was… blinding, as strange as it sounded. Sirius was all he could see now - the bright, expressive eyes, full, addictive lips, and wow he needed to get off this train of thought quickly. He had important things to do today.

Sirius seemed to know exactly what was on his mind. His smile turned secretive and sly before he shot Remus a wink and led the way to the conference room, leaving only Alex. Remus looked at him, then jerked his head towards his office. Alex followed after him and instantly sat down in one of the extra chairs, eyes never leaving Remus. He looked tired, worried, desperate for answers.

Remus sighed, an ache in his chest. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like for him, dealing with his younger brother being kidnapped. If it was Jules, Remus would lose his mind. “Let’s just start at the beginning, ok?” And so he did. He went over the general premise of the mission, what they’d done so far, and what went wrong. Alex listened quietly, taking it in.

When they were finally caught up Alex leaned back in his chair, raking a hand through his hair - a motion that was so Finn that Remus had to hold his breath for a second before releasing it. “So do we have any leads? What’s the plan?”

“We’ve got three possible locations. We’re going to try to narrow it down and then send in the two operatives we’ve already got in Slytherin.”

“Finn’s partners.”

There was something about the way Alex said that. The wrinkle in his brow, eyes hard and unflinching. Unforgiving. Remus gave him a look, keeping his voice neutral. “It was a freak accident, O’Hara. Not their fault.”

He wasn’t brave enough to tell the agent how much of that fault rested on his own shoulders. He was basically in charge of this mission. He’d been the one in charge of planning, giving them the go-ahead, looking out for signs of danger. There were signs of the op going bad - he could see that now, in hindsight. But hindsight was always 20/20, wasn’t it?

And now he was sitting here, explaining to the brother of the agent he let get kidnapped that they didn’t really have a solid plan. They were still scattered and struggling to recollect themselves after that disaster of a mission. What exactly was he supposed to say?

Alex ignored his earlier attempt at placation. “You’re telling me that your plan is to send one agent and a rookie safe-cracker into Snakes headquarters and break my brother out? That’s all you’ve got?”

“The rest of us are already on their radar. If we sent in other agents-”

“Bullshit.” Alex growled, leaning forward dangerously. And really, Remus couldn’t fault him for any of this. Their bond ran deep, apparently. “You’re taking down the Snakes anyways, what’s wrong with pushing up the timeline a little? We don’t need to be covert anymore, we need to be dominant and aggressive.”

“That makes your brother collateral damage,” Remus reasoned. “We go in guns-blazing, the first thing they’ll do is make it a hostage situation.”

Alex sighed, his shoulders slumping and all the fight leaving him in a split-second, frustration rolling off him in waves. “Fuck.”

“We’ve got an ex-Snake on the team and a guy on the inside. Potentially,” he felt like he had to add, because he still wasn’t sure what to think of the younger Black brother. Sirius trusted him, sure, but was that enough?

One wrong move and they could lose three agents. This required precision and cunning, not hot-headed recklessness.

“We’re going to do our best to get him out of there.” Remus finally finished, trying to instill confidence with just the words. Alex just smiled sadly.

“Good media answer, right there.”

Remus’ phone buzzed twice in his pocket, signaling an incoming message. He fumbled with it for a second, then looked down at the screen. “Well, I might have a better answer in a few minutes. One of his partners says they’ve got news.”

Remus just hoped it was finally some good news.

***

Logan was still pacing - back and forth, back and forth. It wasn’t a stressed pace this time, exactly. His stride was longer, full of pent-up energy and restlessness. Leo was switching between watching him and reading the messages Regulus sent the night before to Loops and Sirius, who were both listening intently.

“So let me get this straight.” Remus said through the computer speakers. “Regulus said he’d turn off one of the cameras that overlooks a side door, sneak you two in, and then help you get both him and Finn out?” He and Sirius were sitting close together at the conference table, sneaking glances at each other when they thought no one was looking.

Leo smiled knowingly. Good for them.

“Yeah.” Logan said as he continued to pace. “Get in, get them, get out. Simple.”

“Well,” Leo said, stretching out the word and watching Logan’s eyes snap to him. Yeah, he wasn’t going to like this. “According to Reg, one of Riddle’s flash drives is there too - in a safe in his office. Logan can get Finn, and I can-”

“No.”

“Logan,” Leo sighed, giving him a look. “After we get Finn out, they’ll put that place on lockdown. We won’t get another shot at getting this drive and you know it. Plus Riddle’s not even there right now. It’s the perfect opportunity.”

“When did he even tell you that?” Logan asked, staring at him incredulously. “I don’t remember this at all.”

“That would be because I’ve been texting him this morning because I knew you’d react like this.” Leo rushed to finish his sentence and be heard over Logan’s loud dissent.

“React how? Logically?”

“Over-protectively.” Leo corrected, watching the aggravation return to his pacing again as he grumbled something under his breath. “If we get this drive, that only leaves the ones Lestrange and Riddle have on them. Reg said he could probably grab the one Bellatrix has - he can replace it with the fake I slipped into his pocket at the gala-”

“Nut, you can’t be serious.”

Leo glared at him. “It’s a perfectly solid plan.”

“And it’s dangerous!”

“Are you forgetting what our jobs are?” Leo asked with an incredulous laugh. “Everything we do is dangerous.”

“Leo.”

The blond looked to the laptop, where Sirius and Loops were looking back at him. “Back me up here.”

Remus glanced over at Sirius, then back to Leo. “It’s risky, but if you feel like you can do it-”

“I can.” Leo said, no room for argument. The kid who was nervously drumming his fingers against his thigh and staring off into space before his first mission was long gone, replaced by a calm, confident agent - who still drummed his fingers on a regular basis, but who was self-assured and comfortable with his role. Logan wasn’t exactly sure when that had happened, but he was proud nonetheless - even if he was still terrified.

“When’s Reg going for Lestrange’s drive?” Sirius asked, in a similar state as Logan. Worried, but knowing he was fighting a losing battle. This was happening whether they liked it or not.

“She puts it in the same spot every night before she goes to bed, so he’ll grab it right before we get there when she’s already asleep. If we go really early in the morning - like really early - everyone should be asleep, save for a few.”

“They’re cocky like that,” Sirius added, “No one’s ever been dumb enough to try to break in, so they won’t be as prepared for it.”

Leo frowned, not sure whether to take offense or not. “Thanks?”

“So how long do you think getting into the safe will take?” Remus asked, keeping all of them on track, as usual. The steadiness and predictability calmed Logan down, just a little.

Leo shrugged. “Don’t know, depends on what kind of safe it is. Reg doesn’t know.”

“So you’re going in blind.” Logan finished, anxiety churning in his gut. That calmness had lasted all of three seconds. He didn’t like this. There was so much that could go wrong; it was risky enough sneaking in to get Finn out of there, but adding this on top of it? What if one of them got caught? What if all of them got caught? What if Regulus wasn’t as trustworthy as Sirius claimed? What if they were just walking into another trap?

What if, what if, what if. There were too many variables to this, too much at risk.

He’d never really hated his job before. In the past he’d loved the suspense, the intrigue, the unpredictability. He’d grown up wanting a career that had action and adventure, just like the movies he and his sisters used to watch. Now all the things he used to love were the things that were stressing him out the most. But then, he’d never had partners before - definitely not partners he was halfway in love with.

He was starting to hate this job now.

Leo’s voice brought him back to the conversation. “Not really. It’s either going to be a digital safe or manual. I’d crack a digital safe the same way I cracked the ones at the banks, and manual safes are kind of like giant locks. I just feel for the sticking points and do the math.”

“There’s math?” Sirius asked, looking disgusted. Logan thought back to Finn saying the exact same words, all three of them squished together on the bed with a nature documentary playing in the background, warm and content and relaxed. No stress, no sense of impending disaster, no one missing.

He wanted that again, more than anything.

He felt like this wasn’t the way to do it, though. Which was ironic, seeing that he was the one who usually wanted to be reckless. That was his M.O. - the rough, hotheaded agent who wasn’t afraid to take some risks. He completely changed his tune when those risks endangered his partners.

He couldn’t lose them - either of them. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if...

But arguing against this rescue mission was like leading a horse to water - pointless. The only thing left to do was to prepare. So Logan tuned the conversation out and started planning for every possible outcome he could think of. He wasn’t going to be left just reacting, not this time. He was going into this with every last detail mapped out, every potential misstep accounted for, every contingency plan organized in his head.

He wasn’t going to let anything go wrong. He couldn’t.

***

The alarm Leo and Logan had set was essentially useless, seeing that it found the two of them already awake, going over the plan in their heads. Logan stretched his arm out to shut it off, then rolled over to look at Leo. Blue eyes were already staring back, alight with optimism- a stark contrast to how Logan was feeling. He just hoped tonight wasn’t the night he would be disappointed.

“We’re going to get him back.” The blond said, no sleepiness to his voice as he softly leaned in to kiss Logan sweetly, then more enthusiastically. Logan let himself get lost in it for a while, a heart-wrenching distraction, accepting kiss after excited kiss with a sigh against soft lips. He took the lead a second later, pushing Leo back into the mattress and pressing their chests together, getting as close as he could manage and relaxing into the warmth.

“And then we’ll all be together again.” He added after a while, trying to reassure both Leo and himself as he kissed a dimple and earned a smile, bright in the early-morning darkness. “And we can finally have that talk.”

Leo hummed happily and pulled him down for one last lingering kiss before shimmying his way out from under Logan and getting to his feet, hair an absolute mess from a night of tossing and turning and Logan’s hands. Logan felt strangely proud of himself for that.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.” Leo chanted, dashing to his suitcase to grab clothes. His enthusiasm visibly shown in every action - brushing his teeth, pulling on his shoes, grabbing his tools. Logan soon found himself dressed and ready to go, turning his earpiece on and testing his mic. His gun was loaded and ready, a comforting weight at his hip. Leo’s voice echoed in his ear as he tested his mic, loud and clear. His tools were all packed up and smuggled away in his pockets, determination written across his face.

They were going to get him back.

Logan pulled up the directions to the address Regulus had sent them and they hurried to their car, blasting the heat as high as it would go to try and defrost the windows. The clock read 4:13 am as they pulled out of the hotel parking lot and headed down the street.

The drive was tense with anticipation and nerves and adrenaline. Leo’s leg never stopped bouncing from the passenger’s seat as he stared out the window, clearly lost in thought because it was still pitch black outside - he definitely wasn’t looking at anything. Logan kept his eyes on the road ahead and his thoughts on their mission, going over the details one last time as the navigation app instructed him to turn right.

The building they were infiltrating was on the very outskirts of Slytherin, somewhat secluded and run-of-the-mill. If Logan wasn’t sure this was the right place, he would never have guessed this to be a Snakes’ building. Which was probably exactly what they were going for.

Logan drove straight past the building, continuing down the road for a while until he figured they wouldn’t raise suspicion. He put the car in park, switched the headlights off, then turned to face his partner.

“You ready?”

The resulting grin was luminous. “You know it.”

Logan nodded, nerves gnawing away at his stomach, and got out of the car. He and Leo snuck around to the southeast side of the building where they found a door, the light above it flickering occasionally. Leo sent Logan a look, then rapped on the door with his knuckles twice.

A few seconds passed by, then the door opened silently. Regulus Black stared back at them, face as impassive as always. The two agents stepped inside without another word, watching as Regulus closed the door behind them and locked it before turning to face them again.

“I’ve got Bellatrix’s drive,” he said, so quietly that Leo and Logan had to lean in a little to hear him. “Snagged it about twenty minutes ago and replaced it with the fake. She’ll never know the difference.”

“Perfect.” Leo grabbed Logan’s forearm, eyes bright and intense. “You go get Finn, I’ll grab the drive. Meet you back at the rendezvous.”

Logan still didn’t like the idea. He didn’t like the thought of being separated. “Leo-”

“No one’s out this early, it’ll be the easiest grab of my life. I’ll be careful - I’ll be so careful, Tremz. You gotta trust me.” He pressed their foreheads together briefly and Logan allowed himself that one moment to close his eyes and press back, inhaling deeply. He still smelled like the hotel’s shampoo, clean and citrusy. After all this, Logan didn’t think he’d ever be able to forget the smell - or the memories that came with it. He couldn’t quite figure out if that was a bad thing or not. Because on the one hand, there was stress and kidnappings and hurt. But on the other hand, there was exciting, brand new kisses and falling asleep in his arms and the comfort of just being with him.

“Make it quick, ok?” he said finally, reluctantly leaning away and meeting blue eyes. Leo nodded, giving his hand a squeeze, and turned to set off down the hallway. Logan only allowed himself half a second to look after him - if he watched any longer, he just knew he’d start chasing after him, blindly following an angel and not caring where he was going. He’d probably follow him anywhere, if he could. He faced Regulus again instead, who was looking decidedly awkward. Logan just raised an eyebrow at him and motioned for him to lead the way.

His heart hammered louder and louder the more they walked, excitement and worry and adrenaline snowballing together and making his head spin. He could hear Leo’s quiet breathing through the coms, measured and steady and constant like the tide pushing and pulling against the shore. That, more than anything he tried to tell himself, calmed him down.

They reached a nondescript door and stopped in front of it. Logan glanced at Regulus, then back at the door. This was it. Finn was on the other side of that door. He was a paradoxical combination of excited and terrified of what he’d find on the other side of that door.

“I’m just going to wait out here,” Regulus said, moving so that his back was against the wall. “I’ve already witnessed you all soft and mushy tonight - I don’t think I can handle seeing it again. I’ll keep an eye out from here.”

Logan sent him a grin, incredibly pleased with himself and completely unashamed.

He took one last, deep breath and opened the door.

The sound of the door must have woken Finn, because the first thing Logan saw was the shifting of shoulder and back muscles as the redhead sat up with an annoyed grumble. “What the fuck is so important that you feel the need to wake me up this early?” He demanded, reaching up to further tousle his hair as he swiveled around to face the door. Their eyes locked and Finn froze, staring at him with his mouth agape and wide, wide brown eyes, one of which was blackened and swollen. There was blood at the corner of his mouth, dark and distracting. Logan’s breath left him in a rush, like he’d been the one punched in the face.

“Lo,” Finn whispered, that one syllable barely loud enough to reach Logan’s ears. He sat up straighter in an instant and continued to stare, as if he couldn’t quite believe his eyes. “Logan?”

That was all it took to spur Logan into action. He crossed the room in five quick paces and then he was on his knees in front of Finn, reaching for him hesitantly. Finn practically launched himself at him, arms around his neck and holding tight - almost bruisingly. Logan didn’t care. He’d gladly take the bruises if it meant having his partner in his arms again. It hadn’t even been that long since Logan had seen him, but it felt like an entire lifetime. He hugged Finn closer, probably holding him too tight, before leaning back and looking him over. Frantic hands passed over skin and clothing, feeling for injuries.

“You ok?” He asked, reaching up to tilt Finn’s face so that he could examine the black eye and split lip. Calloused fingers traced gingerly over constellations of freckles, marred by purples and greens and yellows. “God, Finn-”

Finn laughed a little, reaching up to still Logan’s hand and pressing it to his stubbled cheek instead. Logan could feel his smile against his palm and melted. “I’m ok. It looks worse than it actually is, I’m sure.”

You’re still gorgeous, Logan thought as he swiped a thumb across his cheek. He wanted to drown in the sight in front of him. Finn wasn’t great but he was ok and considering the circumstances, that was all Logan could really ask for. He was still livid, of course. And the ones who’d hurt Finn would get what was coming for them. That much he could guarantee.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Finn murmured, still leaning into Logan’s touch. Logan just shook his head firmly, eyes serious. How did Finn expect him to leave him behind? He clearly had no idea just how little they could function without him, the gaping hole he’d left in his absence.

Finn looked over Logan’s shoulder, then back to Logan with worried eyes. “Leo?” He asked and let Logan help him to his feet, favoring his left leg. Logan tightened his grip on his biceps and steadied him before answering.

“Currently? In Riddle’s office cracking a safe.”

Leo’s voice, calm and even, came through the coms. “Tell Finn I said hey.” Logan grinned.

“He says hey.”

Finn looked offended. He leaned closer to the mic Logan was wearing at the collar of his shirt, making the brunet still. The expression on his face - a comical combination of panic and turned-on - made Finn smile as he spoke. “You’re breaking me out of here after I was kidnapped and the only thing you can think of to say is hey?”

“Well, I was planning on saving the sentimental shit for when I actually see you.” Leo said distractedly from his spot on the floor in front of a truly ancient safe, rotating the dial slowly and feeling for the last remaining sticking point. “It’s good to hear your voice, though.”

He heard Logan relay the message to Finn, and then Finn’s resulting coo. Leo laughed under his breath at the sound right as the safe opened with a loud click, opening to reveal nothing inside but a blue and gray flash drive.

“I can’t believe this is the only thing he keeps in a safe like this.” Leo grumbled, reaching forward to make the switch-

Right as the office door opened.

Leo whirled around, slipping the real flash drive into his pocket as he faced whoever had walked in on him.

Unnatural yellow eyes stared back.

And a gun was pointed at his chest.

He could tell Riddle recognized him from the party by the curl of his lips that formed the beginnings of a smile. Cold dread washed over Leo at the bizarre sight. He wasn’t sure anyone had seen the leader of the Snakes smile before. If they did, they hadn’t lived to tell the tale. Leo’s heart raced as all he could do was stand there and stare. His gun sat heavily at his hip, but he knew reaching for it would only speed up the inevitable. He stayed still.

Leo’s partners were still talking over the coms, happy and ignorant of the situation going on right down the hall from them. As Leo stared down the barrel of a gun, he thought maybe it was for the best. Riddle wouldn’t react well to breaking Finn out of here, he knew that much. At least this would be a good distraction - if Riddle was focused on him, he wouldn’t be focused on his partners. Maybe they’d be able to get out of here before Riddle even realized the real reason Leo was in the building.

He’d rather die than give either of them up. He was a little scared at the honesty behind that statement… and the likelihood of it happening much sooner than he’d hoped.

Riddle adjusted his sights without saying a single word, finger against the trigger. Leo sucked in a harsh breath and braced himself.

Bang.

[itskatastrophe-x]

Far Off Places (CH 4)

Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5

Word Count : 3,919

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^

When you walk back into the den, Ranboo is writing viscously. You want to ask what he’s writing about or if you could read anything, but decide against it and instead head to the kitchen to make something to eat. The analog clock on your wall reads 12:48. Too late for breakfast, so you pull out some fish, carrots, and broth to make some soup. You hoped that Ranboo would be ok with whatever you made so that maybe he might join you for lunch. You started preparing the fish first and then brought the broth to simmer. Just as you were going to check on Ranboo, he came through the door and he let off a soft grunt as you bumped into him. You gasp in shock and look up at him and laugh. He looks around at the half prepared meal and smiles. “Do you need any help?” He looks back down at you and you shrug. “It’s honestly almost done. All that needs to happen is to dice the carrots and put everything in the broth to boil.” He nods and makes his way to the counter where the carrots are drying and begins to cut them up. You thank him quietly as you dump the fish into the bubbling pot and he hums a happy response back. 

You both sit down to eat and chat idly through mouthfuls of warm stew. He talks more about his life living with Phil and Techno, as well as his platonic husband and adopted child. He talks more about the latter, smiling all the while, and you could feel the love and enthusiasm practically radiating off of him with every word he spoke. He told you stories of his kids first moments that he could recall, the journey to the house, and even flipped to a page in a journal where he had hastily drawn a doodle of him in the margin. Michael and Tubbo. The three of them sounded the most trustworthy out of any of them here, and you came to find out that they were some of the youngest people living here. 

After lunch was finished, you took to the kitchen to clean and offered to let Ranboo stay for as long as he liked, which he respectfully declined, saying he had things to take care of in Snowchester. You said goodbye from your place at the sink and he turned and left your house, only to come back minutes later to knock on your door and let himself in again. “Did you want to go with me?” You looked at him with a puzzled expression as you set the last dry dish in the cupboard. “What, to Snowchester?” He nodded, an air of caution surrounding him. “If you trust me enough to, I would love to. I haven’t seen anything outside of this house and the surrounding land. It would be good to get out.” He nodded happily and patiently waited as you went to your room to pack a light bag and attach your weapons and fresh armor. When you came back downstairs he was idly messing with the strap of his own bag, completely spaced out. 

“So,” you started quietly, snapping him back to reality. “What will I say to anyone we see along the way? No one knows who I am and I doubt they’ll accept a stranger so willingly.” He smiles at you and looks at the clock, as well as flips to a page in his book. “Well, most people will be out doing their own things today at this time. The trip should only take us a little while and not many people live in Snowchester. Foolish has been working on our mansion there but he’s really sweet and accepting. Other than that, we just have to avoid Bad and Ant. They’re with The Egg and we don’t need any of that kind of interaction.” You nod and fasten a buckle on your boots and follow him out the door, turning to lock it, then back to catch up to Ranboo. Curse his long legs. 

You both didn’t say much on the journey there. You were mainly amazed by all the sights and buildings. You had to travel through the nether at one point, which he gave you a gold helmet so as not to be attacked. He fought off any of the mobs that neared you so you didn’t make them angry, and also since he had the best armor and weapons. The cobble highway was a sight to behold, you thought. They told you about it the previous day, but you were not expecting this much cobble and obsidian. From the portal you came out of, it looked like a maze with paths leading in all directions. Off in the distance you could see a large structure, to which Ranboo said was the main portal that led directly to DreamSMP. You weren’t sure what kind of name that was for the land but he said it had been that way since before he even arrived. When you went through the portal, you were in shock by your surroundings as they blurred in and out. The teleportation affects made you dizzy and nauseous, something you were sure you would never get used to. 

Ranboo took you past what he called the community house. He said it was one of the first buildings to ever exist on this land. He quickly gave you a summary of George and who he was, but said it would be rare to ever see him, seeing as he was almost always sleeping. You travelled on, only passing one person on the way. They didn’t say anything, but waved from their spot under a small dirt covering. You smiled and waved back and turned to Ranboo. “Who is that?” Ranboo hummed and turned to where you mentioned but gave you a confused look. You turned back to where someone had previously been just seconds before, only to find the small space completely empty. “I swear someone was just there,” you muttered. Ranboo only shrugged and turned on his heels to continue on, you following closely behind.

You both neared a long tunnel full of water, gates holding it back from spilling out. Ranboo stopped a few feet away, rolled up his sleeve, and tapped a small gem on his arm that would have gone completely unnoticed if he hadn’t brought attention to it, seeing as it was so small. A virtual screen popped up and you gasped in shock. He looked at you as you stared at the screen and tried to tap it, your hand phasing through it completely. “What is it?” He dropped his arm and the screen disappeared. “Don’t you have one?” You stood there in shock and looked down at your own arm, nervous to pull back your sleeve. Eventually you did, but saw nothing. Ranboo extended his hands, asking permission to touch your arm, and you held it out for him as he inspected it closely. He asked to see your other arm, so you rolled back the sleeve and he looked at that one as well. He smiled up at you and took your other hand, extending your pointer finger, and tapped a spot on your wrist just under your thumb. You felt a small bump there and rubbed gently as Ranboo took back his hands. A screen popped from where the bump was and you put your free hand to your mouth. 

“What is it,” you ask again, staring at the translucent, light grey panels in front of you. “How did I never notice this before?” He chuckles at you and brings his back up. You put yours next to his, noticing that his boxes were full of little icons. “We call it the inventory. We don’t really know how it works, but it stores extra items you can’t carry in a normal bag.” He taps one of his icons and the screen fades away as a box fizzles into reality and drops into his open hands. He sets it down in front of him, purple sparkles dancing around it in a flurry. He opens it and scans another screen until he finds what he wants, clicks it, and a trident appears in front of him. He grabs it and hands it to you, clicks on another one to make it appear, then grabs the box and opens his inventory to put it away. It blurs out of vision and you watch as the little icon reappears on the box it was previously on. “These tridents have what’s called ‘riptide’. We’re going to go into this water and activate them to cross to the other side as fast as possible.” You looked down at the heavy weapon in your hand and stood it up next to you. It was tall and cold and gave off an iridescent glow, signifying that it was in fact enchanted. 

Ranboo opened the gates, took a big breath, and stepped into the water. The trident in his hands caused the water to pulsate around it, casting a dim glow on the liquid around him. He motioned for you to get in as well, and you did. You shut the gate and watched as he activated the enchantment. He looked at you and motioned with his free hand to follow him, and just like that, he was gone. The jolt caused the water to rush around you violently and you had to put your hand against the glass to steady yourself. You looked at the trident and imagined what he had just done, and the trident reacted, lighting up the water and causing your hand to tingle. You positioned it in front of you the way Ranboo had done himself, and it flung you forward at an alarming speed. You used your opposite arm to shield your eyes, and when you slowed down and uncovered them, you were at the end of the tunnel. You swam the short distance to the exit and let out your breath, gasping in oxygen and hunching over. Ranboo closed the gates behind you as you shook out your hair and leaned your weight against the trident that acted as a staff. 

When you finally caught your breath you looked up to see Ranboo covering his mouth, trying to hold back his laughter. “What?” That sent him, and he burst into full laughter. It was contagious and you couldn’t help but also laugh, though you were still unsure what had caused the fit in the first place. Ranboo calmed himself and smiled at you. “The look on your face was priceless,” he said in between gasps. “It’s always funny to watch people’s reactions the first time they use the loop. Just wait until we go back. It’s even faster that way!” You stare at him in shock, and he giggles more. “Come on,” he says as he turns and waves at you, his tail swishing side to side as he walks with a pep in his step. 

You walk the rest of the short distance in comfortable silence until you hear a small rumbling and the sound of wood being put in place. It didn’t take very long until your eyes landed on possibly the biggest mansion you had ever seen. The largest building you had seen was your castle and this mansion in front of you had to easily be almost as big as it. Ranboo called out to someone out of sight and you followed him forward and into the mansion. There was a glass chandelier high above your heads and a grand staircase in front of you, the railing carved with excruciating detail. “How long has this been going on?” Ranboo ran his hand along the railing and smiled. “Three weeks almost. I think he might take a break here soon, though.” Ranboo called out again and finally got a response. An excited sounding voice called back to him from somewhere farther back. You followed Ranboo through the main hall behind the staircase to a door in the back, a strange statue displayed through the open doorway. You saw a shimmer of gold that looked like it was almost moving, and as you got closer you noticed that it was in fact moving. You came through the door and squinted, your hand coming up to protect your eyes from the harsh midday sun. Your jaw dropped and you stood there in awe.

There, standing next to a very tall, poorly depicted Ranboo, was a man. A man dressed in gold robes and chains, rubies glinting in the sun from a large necklace, and what looked to be a shark helmet over his head. He looked down at you both and you couldn’t help but gasp at his shining emerald eyes. “Ranboo,” he boomed, a large smile spreading across his face. He turned to face you fully now, his jewelry and chains jingling as he took a step and squatted in front of you both. “Ranboo you didn’t tell me we would be having guests! I would’ve gotten out the fancy silverware!” He laughs at his own joke and you can’t help but to giggle. 

Right before your eyes, you watch as he shrinks in size slowly, until he’s roughly the same height as Ranboo. He looks very much more human now than he did before and he extends his hand out to you. He beams at you as you place your hand in his and he tugs and pulls you into a short hug, then releases you again. “My name is Foolish! Well, it isn’t really, but that’s what everyone calls me! Sorry if I gave you any kind of spook. I’m part demi-god. Part totem of undying, part shark god. So I guess I would just be a regular god. Anyway,” he cuts himself off with a wave of his hand and walks past you. You turn on your heel and jog to catch up to his fast pace. He hums a happy tune as he leads you through some empty halls then up the stairs all the way to the top floor balcony that overlooked Snowchester. He smiles at the sight before the three of you, then turns to look at you. 

“What do you think of it? Pretty neat, huh? I think this is the biggest build I’ve done for anyone other than myself.” You leaned over the railing slightly to look down at the walls of the structure then looked back at him, eagerly waiting and bouncing on the balls of his feet. “It’s really impressive! I’ve never seen anything like it. Ranboo told me how long you’ve been working on it and that in itself is just amazing.” He was visibly pleased with your response and let out a yell in excitement, bouncing around in circles. He stopped mid circle and pointed a finger to the sky. “I think it’s celebration time. Would you two like to accompany me in some arson?” Ranboo laughed heartily and you looked at him in confusion. “Arson? Will you be burning the mansion down?” Foolish chuckled as he lead you back through the halls and out the back door to the statue. “No, this! I make a ‘muppet’ statue of people and then on big events I do a sort of ritual to burn it down!” He got out his flint and steel and opened his inventory, bringing out a jukebox and a disc. “I made this disc special for these moments,” he said, looking back at you before placing the disc in. 

Low drums sounded from the box and he began the ritual. To what and for who he was doing this for? No clue. But he seemed to be having fun dancing around the statue to the music. He lit one of the feet on fire, then another, then reached up to about mid level to get the front and the back. The smell of burning wood and wool hit your nose and it made you anxious. Thoughts of your kingdom came back to you and you had to turn and leave. Ranboo took notice and followed you away, catching up to you in a few swift steps. He put a hand on your shoulder to turn you and past him you could see the smoke. He spoke in a careful tone as he asked you if you were ok. “Honestly, I don’t know,” you replied quietly. 

You watched over his shoulder as the statue of him was falling apart, raining fire down as Foolish stood in front of it, looking up in awe. “Could… Could Foolish have…” You cut yourself off, hoping Ranboo would catch on. Ranboo looked back at Foolish and was quiet for a minute. “I’m not sure why he would. We’re nowhere near you, according to your details of your trip. He does love arson, but he’s a pacifist. He’s never even killed.” He looks at you in a soft way and you relax slightly, almost comforted by his reassurance. You were still wary, but for now you trusted what Ranboo had to say. 

Foolish looked back at you and waved happily, the fire dying down behind him as he jogged his way inside. “Wasn’t that fun,” he sighed happily. “Why’d you come back inside?” You looked away and Ranboo cleared his throat. “They were just a little tired is all. They had a long day and wanted to just relax for a minute.” You internally thanked him for not telling the truth, but you knew one day he would have to know. They both talked for a while about the mansion and the layout, so you sat on the stairs, lost in thought as their voices echoed through the halls. They walked up the stairs and down some halls and soon their voices were barely a whisper to you. You leaned against the pole for the railing and shut your eyes, not focusing on any thought in particular, but letting things pop out. Soon enough, you were drifting to sleep without even meaning to. Your body slumped farther and eventually you shifted to lay on the stairs next to you instead of the pole. 

The sun was blaring hot. Your legs kept giving out on you and your vision was black. It took you a minute to squint in the sun to get a good look at where you were. There were trees everywhere, not a building in sight. Just you in the woods, completely alone. You looked down at yourself and took note of your clothes. Tattered and torn. Your bow and arrows were missing but your axe was next to you leaning against a tree. The smell of flowers and citrus filled your nose as you grabbed your weapon and began walking. Honeysuckle was growing nearby so you grabbed a couple flowers to suck some of the nectar out to try to hydrate yourself slightly. Your arms were sore and your head was pounding. Your vision blurred at the corners and you had to catch yourself from falling over, using your axe as a crutch. 

Then you saw it. The same green as before. Adrenaline kicked in and your senses came back to you as you yelled out. The person stopped, back facing you, then started to sprint. You readied yourself and held onto your axe tightly as you took off after the person. They were fast, but you knew how to use your terrain to your advantage. The person turned quickly and shot an arrow at you and you dodged it by a hair, hearing it whistle past your ear. You dipped behind a tree and caught your breath momentarily and listened to the person's footsteps as they slowed, then came to a stop. You took this time to attach your axe to your hip and reach up to a branch, bringing yourself quietly up into the trees. You peeked out and watched as the person cautiously made their way closer. Their hood was pulled up and the angle from where you were perched made it impossible to see their face. 

When they were almost under the branch you were on, you silently brought out your axe and prepared to jump. The fall wasn’t far but the wind from it felt nice on your heated skin. You landed directly in front of them, the shock causing them to stop and stagger backwards. You used this opening to grab the handle of your axe with both hands and shove it against the person’s torso and push them to the ground. Their hands came up next to yours as you both fell. Your left knee landed next to them, your right foot on the opposite side, and the bar of your axe pushed against their throat. The only thing from keeping this stranger from choking was their own two hands pushing back. 

“Who are you,” you practically yelled. You looked down at them as they chuckled roughly through gasps of air. They wore a mask with a simple smile etched into it, a crack going down the right side. “Who’s asking.” By their voice, you now identified them as male. “I am,” you state. “You aren’t supposed to be able to interact with me. Now answer me. Who. Are. You.” You pushed harder and he squirmed, trying to get a better grasp on your weapon. He coughed and took in a breath before speaking again. “I go by Dream,” he says quietly. “And why should I trust you, Dream? I was told you were put into prison for murder, arson, and a whole list of other things.” He let out a laugh. “So you met them. That’s what they told you? And you believed them without a second though?” He brought a knee up and pushed against you as hard as he could. The sweat from your palms loosened your grip and he broke free, taking your axe with him as he stood and backed up, readying said weapon in front of him. “You know, I saw your kingdom,” he started. “You should know then that you should always listen to the other side before coming to a decision. You listened to those people and took their word for everything without even hearing what I had to say.” You breathed heavily from your spot on the ground. 

Dream lowered the axe and threw it behind him as he extended a hand towards you to help you up. You stared at him for a moment while you calmed your nerves and decided to take his hand. Pulling you up seemed effortless and you wondered if he had held back at all and allowed himself to get captured. “You wanted to tell me your side, and yet both times I ran after you, you ignored me. Why?” He shrugged and laughed a breathy laugh. “I’m bored,” he said nonchalantly. “I’ve been stuck in a prison cell for months with only a couple visitors. I reached out to see if I could do anything else and found that I could hop into dreams. But only yours. So I thought maybe you would be the one that would be able to help me.” You stared at him, partially confused. Your body shook and you fell to your knees. “God damn it,” you whispered. “I guess I’ll see you in another dream,” he said as he turned and ran off. 

[delimeful]

you will see a better day

donation drive commission for @starrykid with the prompt: Remus dealing with intrusive thoughts and the others helping him through it.

warnings: canon setting, intrusive thoughts (a fair amount), gore mentions, implications of thoughts of self harm, Remus Going Thru It

-

Before, whenever he had a Bad Day, it was just more fuel on the trash fire that was his brain. 

It was routine: Remus would wake up with a litany of grotesque images on the back of his eyelids, present every time he blinked or squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. These thoughts weren’t the fun kind of gross, the type that was fascinating or funny. They weren’t fun because he didn’t choose them, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get rid of them if he didn’t like them. 

Guess that was how everyone else felt about you. Remus mashed a pillow over his own face as though it would muffle his own mind. What a stupid thought. He was a luxury few could afford, thank-you-very-much!

Back then, as soon as possible, he would find someone else in the Mindscape to bother, because if he had to deal with the awful thoughts carving and chipping away at the inside of his skull, it was only fair to share. 

That was before, when things had been black and white and he could be a monster all he pleased because it wasn’t like anyone else thought differently. It wasn’t like Thomas thought differently. 

Until he did.

And now they were all in one muddled up Mindscape and the others were trying, making an effort to clot their own bad habits and setting a place for him at the table. It was slow-going, like shoving a square peg into a circular hole, but it was also the most he’d ever had. Until something splintered, he was going to soak in every minute of it. 

Or at least, that was his plan, up until he hit another Bad Day like a semi truck hit thrice-dead roadkill. 

Same thoughts, same pounding (heh) headache. The difference was, now he couldn’t go word-vomit all over the nearest Side until he felt a little less like he was drowning. He was working to keep the delicate peace in his own way, and that meant not bothering the others with his… himself-ness on days like these. 

He couldn’t stay in his room all day, though. For one it was boring, and for two, ever since they’d all agreed to try and cohabitate, Patton and Janus in particular were insistent on checking in if anyone acted strange. Cooping up in his room and not being his usual fantastically sickening and outrageous self would definitely pop up on their radar. If that happened, there was no way he could fool Janus outright. He preferred his own brand of frank honesty anyways, so clearly the only solution was to behave normally enough that nobody looked twice. 

His version of normal, anyhow. 

He groaned loudly and then dragged in a breath, manifesting a pair of slippers that looked uncannily like dead fish onto his feet. He would just have to put his excellent acting skills to use. 

—- 

Remus’s willpower was put to the test as soon as he reached the kitchen. A new record of his ability to destroy plans, this must be why Janus never told him anything. 

Patton was spinning himself in circles on one of the round stools by the bar counter, humming a cartoon theme brightly to himself. At the stovetop, Virgil was sedately flipping pancakes, an easy set to his shoulders that meant he had probably recently taken a long-overdue nap in Logan’s room.

Normally, Remus would already be halfway into teasing the hell out of him, but now his brain felt scrambled with panic. Virgil was particularly susceptible to getting dragged into the cycle of intrusive thoughts on days like these, which meant the anxious Side was the last one he wanted to run into at the moment. 

Two birds with one brick, his stupid hell brain suggested slyly. Send Virgil into a spiral and then it’ll be him who gets nagged, his fault for ruining the friendly atmosphere. 

Stop it. Remus’s face twitched into a self-directed snarl for a moment, and he forced the thought away as Patton finally slowed his rotation to smile dizzily at him. 

“Remus! Good morning!” 

Virgil glanced over his shoulder, sending Remus’s heart rate briefly into the triple digits. Be normal be normal be normal. “Hey, Re. Morning.”

He didn’t even notice. So much for being your friend. If you’re subtle enough, you could sidle up behind him and smash his face into the hot burner—

“WHAT’S UP, FUCKERS!” Remus shouted, teeth spread in a too-wide grin. He bounced into the kitchen, depositing an assorted handful of teeth (his preferred currency) into the swear jar before Patton could say anything, and planted himself on the middle bar stool. 

Patton scooted one stool closer to be next to him, because of course he did. Remus resisted the urge to start prying out handfuls of hair, his own or— no. Toned down, he was keeping it toned down. Buttcheek on a stick, this was difficult.

“Want to spin with me?” Patton asked, shifting antsily from side to side with barely contained energy. 

“Whoever pukes first wins?” Remus replied automatically, and felt a bright burst of giddy joy when Patton giggle-snorted instead of recoiling. 

“I think upchuck is actually supposed to mean you lose your lunch and the spinning contest, kiddo.” 

Of course it did. You were designed to be the loser, even if you try to change the rules. 

Remus knew that this time Patton had spotted the way his lips twitched down into a grimace, but before the fatherly side could say anything, there was the clink of ceramic plates on the counter in front of them. 

“No spinning and/or vomiting if you want to eat my pancakes,” Virgil demanded, wielding a spatula threateningly at them as he clicked the stovetop off. “We’ll never hear the end of it from Princey if he has to reconjure all the furniture.” 

Irrational, heated anger burned through him. Like Virgil could do anything to stop you. Social interaction was enough to give the guy a panic attack, he couldn’t tell Remus to do or not do anything— 

“You good, Re?” Virgil asked, and he jerked, avoiding the other Side’s gaze as though eye contact would expose his thoughts. After a beat too long, his mind finally caught up with the plate in front of him. 

His pancake was covered in a truly disgusting amount of cheese and ketchup, the way he always requested it back when they’d all been Dark Sides. Despite the fact that he always made a face back then, Virgil had made a point to remember, had done it without asking. 

Like ravenous wolves, his thoughts instantly turned against him. 

Pathetic. How could you think things like that about people who trust you? You shouldn’t even be here, pretending to be a person. You deserve everything coming to you. 

His hand made it halfway to the fork sitting innocently next to his plate before he remembered himself. Virgil was still looking at him, clearly having caught the motion, and Remus lowered his hand, white-knuckled. 

“Me, good? That’s a funny one, V-mo!” he tried to joke, but the odd edge to his voice made it fall flat. Virgil was outright frowning now, and out of the corner of his vision Patton’s eyebrows were drawing together.

“What’s wrong?” Virgil asked, his frame tight with tension and his gaze drilling into Remus. “Are you hurt?” 

“I could be!” Remus blurted, trying to keep his tone saucy but ending up with something closer to desperate. “You ever think maybe bashing my skull in would be better than having to deal with its contents?”

The two of them winced, and he knew he’d given himself away completely. Shit.

Virgil reached out, and then stopped himself before he could make contact. Can you blame him? Jumping into an electrified tank of leeches would be more comfortable than willingly exposing himself to you. 

Something of his internal diatribe must have shown on Remus’s face, because Virgil’s hesitant expression flickered into regret.

“Shit,” he swore, and this time Patton didn’t chide him. “I can’t-- I don’t want to send you into a spiral, Re. If I touch you, we’re just going to be stuck in a feedback loop of bad thoughts.” 

“Like how you’re perpetually stuck in 2009?” Remus offered, instead of listing all the ways he could feasibly remove Virgil’s eyes from their sockets. It would almost be fun, if it wasn’t his friend’s eyes he was contemplating prying out with a spoon handle. 

Virgil’s lips pulled up slightly. “Yeah, just like that. I’m gonna go get the others. They’ll be able to help you for real.” 

He sunk out, and Remus’s head started to ache more severely as terrible and often gory predictions for the future began to crowd his mind. He shoved his hands into the roots of his hair and tugged ferociously. 

“Hey, buddy, you shouldn’t pull on your hair like that,” a concerned voice chimed in. Remus had almost forgotten Patton was still there, sitting only a seat away. 

He pulled harder on his hair, both out of spite and to distract himself from the urge to summon a weapon and see if Patton would still look at you with so much pity if you shanked his ass and tied his intestines into little bows. 

“Hey, what do you call a seasick croc?” Patton asked, abruptly enough that Remus managed to shake his train of thought. He glanced up to look at the Heart, who offered him a tremulous mischievous smile. “A crocobile.” 

Remus snorted, and Patton’s smile seemed to firm up. 

“How about, why do ducks have tail feathers?” the moral Side asked in that same leading tone. 

Remus thought for a minute. “‘Cause otherwise they’d lose their balance in flight and go splat against the nearest window?” 

“I mean, maybe, but also!” Patton held up a finger for emphasis. “They have tail feathers to cover their… butt-quacks.”

There was a beat of anticipation where they both stared at each other, and then Remus threw his head back and outright cackled. Patton fist pumped in delight. 

“I thought you might like that one, kiddo,” he said, beaming. Before Remus could reply, possibly with an atrocious pun of his own, Roman strode into the room. 

There was a brief, awkward pause as the two of them made eye contact. Patton looked rapidly between them with concern, and Remus couldn’t blame him. Even now, their one-on-one interactions tended to end with vicious spats. They were too good, too practiced at pressing each other's buttons to settle into the newfound peace easily. 

“... Bad one?” he finally asked, as though he could spot the wrong-evil-awful all over Remus from a mile away. Remus felt his expression drop into an irritable glower worthy of Anxiety, but before he could retort, Roman was seating himself primly on the communal couch.   

He ran his hand through the hair at the nape of his neck in a nervous habit Remus constantly teased him about, and then straightened his shoulders and patted the cushion next to him. “I’ll… like when we were kids. If you want.” 

Despite Patton’s confused head tilt, Remus got it immediately, and ignored the screaming violence in his head in favor of bodily throwing himself over the couch, jostling the hell out of his brother and eliciting a Grade-A Bitchface from him in the process. Remus grinned maliciously in return.

“Do the one that looks like a snake,” he demanded, running a hand through his hair and lengthening it. Of course, in addition, thick clumps of hair ended up falling out entirely, leaving weird-feeling bald patches that might have been interesting if he’d actually intended to create them. 

“On purpose or don’t want it?” Roman asked, echoing a familiar question from their childhood. It had been a royal decree, before they grew so divided, that one had to ask before ‘fixing’ anything the other did, just in case it was on purpose. 

“How are you supposed to braid what isn’t there?” Remus grumbled, gnawing on the inside of his cheek as he unwillingly imagined restapling his hair to his skull. “Don’t want it.” 

Roman dragged his fingers through Remus’s hair, lengthening it until it was long enough to do all sorts of stupid-complicated braids. He also made the new hair unforgivably glossy and apple-scented, but Remus could get him back for that later, when he was sure it wouldn’t be (nails through nasal cavities, a cloud of suffocating darkness, decaying hands pulling you down into freshly turned soil and burying you alive) disproportionate retribution. 

Two braids later, Logan appeared, rising up in the mindscape with his tie perfectly aligned but lab goggle imprints around his eyes. He only took a moment to absorb the scene, as though it was normal that everyone was crowding around Remus attentively. “Virgil informed me that you could use some assistance?” 

Remus snorted. “Maybe you can perform some impromptu brain surgery to stop me thinking? Hey, if you don’t use anesthetic, I promise not to squirm too much, doc.”

“I don’t believe that man’s ever been to medical school,” Roman quoted absently, still caught up in combining three braids together into one. 

Logan rolled his eyes. “Regardless of my unfortunately lacking PhD status, I believe brain surgery to ‘stop one thinking’ is also colloquially referred to as an induced coma.” 

“Perfect!” Remus cheered, and then yelped when Roman tugged on his hair harshly in retribution. Patton was making that half-pitiful, half-furious face that he always made whenever the emo talked bad about himself, strangely enough.

“There are plenty of adjectives I could use to describe such a solution, but none of them would be ‘perfect’, Remus,” Logan continued. “A more effective and patient-friendly answer would be addressing your irritating or harmful thoughts through the use of various mental health tactics.” 

Easy for him to say. “That might work for Tommy-boy, but I am the harmful or irritating thoughts, remember?” 

“Falsehood.” Logan declared, proving that no matter what aspect of Thomas they were, the Sides were all dramatic theater kid bastards at heart. “It has become increasingly clear that while we all formed to handle certain tasks or aspects, we are all increasingly complex at heart. None of us can be diminished to simply one trait. In the same way that Virgil is much more than the experience of anxiety, there is no logical reason to reduce yourself to the thoughts that you struggle with.” 

Remus shook his head, though he wasn’t sure what part of the assertion he was resisting. Logan folded himself into a sitting position and reached over for Remus’s hand, his touch grounding. 

“You’ve gotten through days like this before. You’ll continue to do so after,” Logan told him. 

“I got through Bad Days by making everyone’s day bad,” Remus retorted. “I’m not you, but I’m not stupid. Nobody wants me making it into a communal event.” 

“That’s what family’s for though,” Patton said, shifting closer from his own spot on the rug. “Listening. Helping. Having each other’s backs when things get tough!” 

Logan’s grip didn’t falter. Roman’s presence was solid at his back. Remus was beginning to wonder if he’d snorted something hallucinogenic recently.

“The sentiment is admirable, if a bit hypocritical,” a familiar voice chimed in, and Remus looked up to see Janus leaning elegantly against the kitchen archway. Virgil elbowed his way past, ruining the dramatic pose and flopping down on the couch next to Remus. He bumped his shoe against Remus’s leg in quiet camaraderie.

“Hypocritical?” Logan echoed, raising an eyebrow. 

“Unless you’d like to tell me that everyone here has no problems whatsoever asking for help or expressing vulnerability on their bad days,” Janus proposed, smugly. 

Logan inclined his head slightly. “Point.” 

“Regardless, that doesn’t make Logic or Morality incorrect.” Janus looked at Remus intently. “None of us are allowed to simply suffer in silence, anymore.”

“I didn’t exactly suffer in silence before,” he pointed out, sounding uncannily sensible. Probably from the nerd’s proximity. 

“Then you shouldn’t have a problem now, hmm?” Janus replied. 

Logan sighed at them all, collectively, in general. “Look at it from this angle, Remus. Your previous coping mechanism was generally detrimental due to your lack of options and isolation. Now, you have neither of those holding you back. With knowledge and assistance, you can only improve from here on out.” 

Now, that was doubtful. “And what if I don’t, huh? What if I just get worse?” 

“Then we’ll still be here.” Logan squeezed his hand, and Janus confirmed his words with a nod, and even though his mind was cluttered and overwhelming, they were all still there at his side without complaint. 

Maybe it wasn’t too much to ask, after all.

“Well, what are we trying first?”

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

In honor of Stone Ocean being announced (!!!), I have arisen from the dead to bring you a diatribe on this beautiful, weird they/them.

So, Narciso Anasui. They don’t make no fucking sense. 

Anasui wants to marry Jolyne BEFORE they meet her, unless you count the piano encounter where they did not exchange words. Anasui walks into the part trying to marry Jolyne which is... fucking insane.

Because normal people want to get married because they’re in love with someone. Anasui has never met Jolyne but is DETERMINED to marry her. It’s possible they imprinted when they saw her, more on that later, but normal people, if they're in love or even think they're in love, try multiple levels of courtship: go on a date, have sex, do sweet things together... But Anasui is Belligerent about marrying Jolyne and nothing else. Like the idea of dating or just fucking hasn't even occurred to them. Just insta-marriage.

And that's... really weird, right? That's a fixation, it means that marriage must mean something specific to them. And, even weirder, as possessive and jealous as Anasui is, it's not a weird sex thing. They’re never sexually harassing Jolyne or believe that by marrying Jolyne they'll own her in some way. Like, those are all shitty reasons to want marriage, but we've seen those before, we know what those are. But no, Anasui treats marriage as an end goal in and of itself. Like the marriage, by its existence, will... DO something. 

I think Anasui knows or believes they’re in a story and believes that marriage, and specifically marrying Jolyne, the protagonist, will fix their life. Marriage is the way you trigger the Happy Ending, right? We all know from every fairy tale that that’s how it ends, the hero saves the day, marries the maiden, and they both live happily ever after. But critically, the story only ends this way for a few particular characters. The townspeople don’t get a happy ending and the villain certainly doesn’t get a happy ending, only the protags do. And Anasui is trying to be a very particular kind of protag, they’re trying to be a white knight. 

I think, when they saw Jolyne, Anasui realized what kind of story this was, or saw what kind of story this could be, and decided who they wanted to be in this story to achieve the desired outcome. Like, I think this could even explain their off-screen gender transformation. They assumed, wrongly, that Jolyne wouldn't be interested in a woman and that they couldn't be a white knight as a woman, so they made themself into a man to better suit the part. All in the name of ensuring that Happy Ending.

But what’s funny about all of this, is Anasui has picked a REALLY BAD part for themself. Like, it's not native to them at all. Anasui is a relatively harmless person, but they’re an asshole. They AREN’T generous and brave and kind. They AREN’T bold and true and patient. They’re a cagey, cunning, selfish, shallow prick. So they don’t REALLY know how to do the thing they’re trying to do; they’re guessing based on vague archetype ideas. But Anasui wants SO BADLY to make this work because they’re really trying for that Happy Ending. 

When we meet Anasui, they’re stuck in Emporio's room because they’re on fire, that's the On Fire room, ironically enough. Anasui doesn’t know who they are or what their part is in the story and they spend most of the part trying to figure that out and find an identity, to even find a motivation. Weather and Anasui are both stuck in there because they're waiting for their part in the story to happen, literally and metaphorically. They both WANT to be in the story and interact, but don't know how to yet. And Weather has personal reasons for interacting with the story, but Anasui doesn't. So you really gotta wonder why they’re here at all. Anasui certainly does.

But Anasui thinks that they can get something out of this story, they can get a Happy Ending. So Anasui narrates themself into the story, makes themself a part that is all but assured a happy ending if they can just execute it right. And they pick a part that is not remotely intuitive to them, but Anasui thinks that by saying it over and over again and following the pattern doggedly, they can get through this and come out the other side. What would have made more sense and would have been actually easier is starting their own arc. But, here again, Anasui shows some low-key awareness of being in a story: you can’t have your own arc if you’re not the protag. And Anasui seems genuinely aware that Jolyne is the protag, this is her story, and so fits themself into her story rather than trying to make their own story and thus a competing narrative.

But this is a hard row to hoe for Anasui and you watch them struggle over the course of Part 6 to be this thing they don’t really know how to be and how to keep their real self at bay. And it’s possible, even probable, that they may genuinely want to be better, that they find things admirable in white knights and that if they could just do that, they’d be a better, happier person. But they just... don't know how to. 

Looking at it this way, Anasui's arc should have been realizing that trying to be something you're not will always fail and that you have to accept the person you are and the arc you're in, even if it's not what you wanted. In many ways this parallels closely with Weather Report, who incidentally is just about the only person who knows the real Anasui. They are both character who, for very different reasons, spend a long time as not themselves but, regrettably, know and maybe even like the real version of each other. It speaks volumes that Anasui seems to be the only person Weather doesn’t hate on sight and trusts to help him achieve his revenge. And the Anasui you see in those moments is the most competent and focused Anasui of the entire part. At that moment, Anasui isn’t trying to marry Jolyne, and thus ascend into being a different person, Anasui is just doing what they can to help, focused only on the here and now. It’s a rare, real moment. And after this moment, Anasui doesn’t seem as obsessively focused on marrying Jolyne, even when it’s closer than ever. Anasui seems to have reached some understanding that they can still have a good ending, if not a happy ending, and that participating in the story you have may be more important than forcing a story that isn’t yours.

But then the universe resets and implies that Jolyne IS with Anasui this time which is just... well, bizarre. But it really makes a fine point that Anasui is a character stuck in a loop of trying to force their life to be a certain way. That this was intentional on Araki's part to have this incoherent character who is trying to fit some idea of themself because they cannot locate a motivation of their own. Ideally, this Anasui too would realize and learn that marrying Jolyne isn't the answer to all their problems. It won't magically make them different, no matter how hard they’ve tried to pin everything on that. And that fulfillment comes from within, not without. 

[since0202]

Chapter 36: Choice

“Times up.” Sam said one afternoon after Grace had ducked out of the Cullen house early for a pack meeting. 

“What do you mean ‘times up’? You’re just going to go in there and kill her?” Grace said skeptical, almost laughing at him as she grabbed some food from the kitchen table. 

“We have no new information and we need a plan of action for when this thing comes out.” 

“What do you want me to do?” Grace said annoyed. Jacob was standing behind her with his arms crossed looking at Sam with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t want you to do anything. You’re our line in. They trust you and I think the only other person that they would trust is Jacob.” 

“Okay,” Jake said also skeptical and reaching around Grace to grab a muffin from the table. “Then what do you want me to do?” 

“Same thing as Grace. I want you to get a line in, start spending time with Bella, keep an eye on the situation. And then as the time gets closer if she progresses we’ll have two of ours on the inside, which will definitely buy us more time if we need it in the end.” 

“I think you’re jumping the gun on this one Sam.” 

“Well, I don’t. And I’m alpha so you’ll do as I say,” he said confidently before leaving the room. Jake and Grace were left alone in the kitchen and she dropped into a kitchen chair laying her head on her arms. 

“We’re not fucking secret agents. Bella knows that the pack is not thrilled about the pregnancy. They’ll be prepared for an attack.” Grace said into her arms. Jacob dropped in the chair across from her and put his hands behind his head. 

“Edward already texted me like a month ago.” Jake said casually. Grace shot up in her seat. 

“What?! He texted you? About what?!” Grace said surprised. 

“To have me come and talk to Bella and try to convince her she should terminate.” He said looking toward the door. 

“Did you...did you text him back?” Grace said. She couldn’t believe Edward had never mentioned it to her.

“I went and saw him. We met in the woods. I mostly wanted to rub it in his face that I was right. That I knew he was going to kill her one way or another. But…” Jacob looked at his hands and Grace rested her chin on her crossed arms. “It didn’t feel like I thought it would. He was...different. Broken.” 

Grace listened quietly and when Jacob looked into her eyes she concentrated. She could see the image in his head now, fuzzy and flickering but there. They had been practicing this every once in a while when they were near each other when Jake wasn’t phased. She only ever caught glimmers and echos, never anything as concrete when he was in his wolf form but it was something. She squinted her eyes trying to see it more clearly in her mind’s eye but it wasn’t working. 

“You get the idea,” he said, cutting off his gaze and moving it back down to his hands. 

“What are we going to do? Sam is definitely going to kill this thing but what if...what if it turns out to just be a baby? What do we do?” 

“There’s no way it’s just a baby, but I get your meaning….” he was at a loss and couldn’t offer her a way forward anymore than she could other than to say, “We buy as much time as we can so we can be sure.” 

“Right,” Grace breathed. 

January 

Grace walked into the study where Bella was getting another ultrasound, coming to the middle of her second trimester. Carlisle was diligently moving the wand across her belly trying to see if he could ascertain anything new. 

Grace put her hands in the backpocket of her jeans and smiled. 

“How are we doin’?” She asked nonchalantly. 

“Good, just seeing if I can hear anything new…” Carlisle said his eyes trained on the monitor. Bella smiled but her face was starting to look sallow, Grace noticed. Her color was off too. In her first two months, she was pink and flush with a pregnancy glow, but now she was turning a tinge of yellowish green. 

“I brought a present. Hope that’s okay. It was kind of big so I left it downstairs,” Grace said nodding over her shoulder. Bella smiled and Carlisle clicked off his machine saying “Nothing new,” with a tight smile to Bella. 

“Come on preggo,” Grace said, helping her up. She was definitely starting to show much more than a woman who was normally 4-5 months pregnant would show. She helped Bella slowly descend the stairs, noticing how thin her arms were becoming. 

“You feeling okay?” she asked quietly. 

“Yeah of course, just had a headache this morning I can’t shake. Where’s this monster present?” Bella asked jokingly as they rounded the corner to the living room. 

“It’s a good monster, I promise,” Grace said.

Jake stood in the center of the living room wearing his black leather jacket, tan shirt and jeans. 

Bella broke into a wide smile and shuffled quickly toward Jake to wrap him in a hug. He obliged and carefully closed his arms around with a smile Grace hadn't seen in a while as he said, “Hey Bells.” 

“It’s so good to see you,” Bella said as tears sprang to her eyes. Grace patted Bella’s back and looked up at Jacob’s face before saying, 

“I’m going to run some errands while you’re here with her. You good?” Jacob nodded without opening his eyes and Grace headed toward the front door. As she left she heard Bella say, 

“Your hair’s long again.” To which Jake laughed softly. Grace cherished that sound for a second before she moved to the treeline, focused herself carefully and recast the 56 miles to Port Angeles. When she reappeared, she leaned up against a nearby building and tried to catch her breath. 

After a couple of minutes, she relaxed and pulled her hood up against the January sleet and headed down the busy street. Edward and Carlisle had been hard at work trying to find information from anyone who could tell them more about what was happening to Bella. Alice and Jasper had disappeared for a full month before coming back empty handed. They left in shifts, not wanting to leave Bella unguarded for too long, but this time, their trips had overlapped with when they usually went to feed, so Grace had offered to meet up with a lead Carlisle had found who seemed promising. 

Grace had conveniently left this information out of the collective pack mind however, knowing that Sam would be furious if she was meeting up with a rogue vampire informant. So what Sam doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Not to mention that the alpha fatigue was starting to wear on her. 

Now that Jacob was back, the old tension between Sam and Grace resumed. He understood that the connection between Jacob and Grace might be more akin to the true alpha-Spirit Bird link but since Jake wasn’t interested in becoming alpha, he was trying to dictate the parameters of their connection as the true alpha. 

It was exhausting. Grace was usually given so much whiplash by Sam’s commands that she opted to just tune out as much as possible which caused clear divides amongst pack members. In their histories, the alpha and Spirit Bird were meant to work in perfect harmony, a balance, give and take. But with Sam and Grace it had been anything but. She found herself wanting to resist his alpha commands more and more, make decisions without consulting him, keeping him out of the loop when it came to what was happening in the Cullen house, anything to get some peace. She knew Sam was just trying to keep the pack in order, do his job, and keep everyone safe, but Grace felt like it was more of a father-child relationship between them than a mutual agreement to manage the pack. 

She and Jacob had mulled it over a couple of times in their collective mind, but stopped when Jacob was getting hounded by Sam for sowing discord. Grace was able to shield her own mind from the collective packs if she wanted because it was a choice to dip into their shared consciousness, but Jacob could not. 

Grace pulled herself out of her reverie as she turned down another alleyway, her footfalls splashing in the gathering puddles. She paused a door to her left, rechecking her phone for the address before she heard a light hiss above her. Grace tentatively looked up and saw the crouched figure of a man in a long coat on a fire escape. He quickly jumped from the immense height and landed across from Grace. She kept her face cool, hands in her pockets and spoke with purpose. 

“Alastor? I’m here on behalf of Carlisle,” the sleet slowed offering them a brief reprieve that neither of them really noticed. The vampire looked at her curiously, his eyes darting across Grace’s body, taking her in and relishing in the scent. Grace made a mental note, Black eyes, this might be a problem. 

Another low hiss came from the back of the vampires throat without him meaning it, like a reflex. “And you're the little mortal he sent to do his bidding?” he let out a soft, pleasing laugh. Grace didn’t respond right away, just shifted her weight a little and kept her eyes trained on the creature. 

“You have information Carlisle asked for?” Grace leveled him with a solid stare. Surprisingly she wasn’t afraid, but as the time ticked on she felt like she was on a fool’s errand. Alastor looked like he hadn’t had a shower in decades. His blonde hair hung in oily strands around his round face. Patches of dirt adorned his perfectly marble like skin. He was dressed in a dingy, worn overcoat and gloves that left his thin fingers exposed. Grace grimaced a little. He gave her an unsettling smile and pulled his lips back a little too far over his teeth. 

“Right. This way,” he said as he walked off down the alleyway. Grace rolled her eyes and followed him internally thinking Shields up. He took her through dark street after dark street until the sun started to get low and he veered off to his left, pulling open two cellar doors that were sunken into the alleyway. He descended down the stone steps into the darkness and Grace groaned. She was walking into a vampire den, clear as day, and if Sam or Paul or any of the pack members found out, she’d be crucified. She followed after Alastor into the dark, damp cellar until she found herself in a worn and disheveled den. Literally. She had to almost stop herself from laughing at the irony. 

It was scattered with remnants of paper, old CDs, actual trash, and tattered linens with questionable stains. Alastor was rummaging through some dresser drawers on the far wall. 

“When Carlisle had told me of his little predicament, it had reminded me of this book I had come across centuries ago in a deserted library. It detailed the legends of bloodsuckers, the immortal way, and the children born from them.” Grace raised an eyebrow still taking in the dank surroundings as the bare bulb in the center of the room cast eerie shadows. “He was very interested in such a book, and lucky for him I nicked it some 300 years ago. Ah!” he cried pulling a slender, small book out from his drawer. He looked upon it lovingly, “It’s given me solace, to understand the monster that I am, how I’m perceived, and how legends tell us more truth about ourselves than anything else.” 

Grace didn’t respond. His eyes, black as ink, drew her in momentarily. She felt an odd tickling at the back of her neck. A warning? 

“But for all his goodness, Carlisle is nothing if not gullible to the real fault of humans,” he was on her now, terribly close and she careened back, her back slamming into the wall behind her. Her head hit the stone with a thud and she felt warmth trickle there. When she felt the back of her head, she pulled back a small amount of blood, but it was enough. Alastor’s hand was suddenly outstretched, closed around her throat and slowly crushing her windpipe. Grace, taken off guard, gasped for breath, gripping Alastor’s wrist with one hand as her other fought for purchase on the wall behind her to give her leverage. She was turning blue. 

Alastor’s eyes were gleaming, his mouth wide open in hunger and just as quickly, “Just a taste,” he teased cruelly. 

Grace squeaked out a suffocated, “I wouldn’t,” before bringing her free hand up, pulling her energy hard and fast, slicing down like a knife in front of her and severing Alastor’s outstretched arm at the elbow. She frantically pulled at the hand that still loosely gripped her neck and cast it aside with a clatter. Alastor let out a howl of pain and was momentarily thrown off balance. Grace leaned down to scoop up the small book and sprinted for the staircase. Once out in the cool, dark air, she wasted no time recasting back to Forks. 

Falling forward on her knees in the forest, Grace coughed and tried to regain her breath. She drew in ragged breaths, but the pain was excruciatingly sharp. It felt like someone had dragged glass shards down her throat. Grace checked to make sure she had the book pocketed in her jacket before pulling herself up with a groan and stumbling toward the Cullen’s. That was the last time she volunteered to meet up with one of Carlisle’s sketchy ass friends. 

As she broke out of the treeline and onto the Cullen’s driveway, she was starting to  wheeze. Coming down from the front steps was Jacob. Panicked, Grace tried to gain her composure. His face looked furious, dark, and he was lost in thought until he looked up and saw Grace coming toward him. 

“Hey,” he said quietly. Grace nodded thinking she was in the clear but as she got closer to brush past him his eyes went wide:

“Grace what the HELL!” He stepped in front of her and his hands went to roughly touch her neck. Grace flinched painfully and wheezed out: “Jake, take it easy.” Her voice was raspy and cut in and out like changing channels on a tv. 

“Sorry,” he breathed, his hands soft on her neck now inspecting the clear red welts of hand print there. “What the fuck happened?!” Suddenly he was taking a deep breath, the coppery scent clear now, and his eyes shot up to her head, “Are you bleeding?!” his eyes were roving up and down her body, desperately searching for where the smell of blood was coming from. 

“Jacob,” she whispered, trying to even her wheezing. “I’m fine, let me just—” she tried to move past him, but his hand was firm on her upper arm holding her in place. His other hand reached and softly touched the back of her head, pulling back wet blood. His eyes were wide with anger now, furious, and filled with absolute disgust. 

“Who did this?” he growled. His whole body was shaking and his eyes were alight with something she hadn’t seen in months. 

“Can I go inside please?” she asked, tired. She wasn’t losing a lot of blood, but the smell was starting to make her just a little bit dizzy. He nodded snapping out of it and wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he led her up the steps and into the Cullen house. 

Carlisle was there instantly trying to assess her, but Jacov’s reflexive growl told him to keep his distance.

“Jacob may I?” he asked politely. Jake wasn’t letting go and Grace had to gently peel his fingers off her shoulder to be released. His anger only ticked up as Grace sat down wincing as Carlisle gently parted her hair where the wound was. “Esme, please get my kit,” he said, lifting Grace’s chin up and looking closely at her throat. She was gone and back in an instant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think Alastor would be in bad shape.” 

“This was for you?!” Jacob said, rage racketing up in him now. Grace gave Carlisle a warning look, upset that he had said anything. 

“Jake, I’m fine, really. Look,” she whispered, her voice raspy and weak. She held up her finger and followed her eyes as she moved her finger back and forth across her face. Jacob was not placated. He seethed, watching her with clenched fists as his chest rose and fell quickly with every passing breath. 

She reached in her pocket to hand Carlisle the book. “Thank you,” he said quietly as he took it from her and then deftly grabbed some tools to start working on cleaning, disinfecting, and stitching up Grace’s head. “Should just need a couple of stitches. Can you breathe alright?” he asked as he listened to her wheezing. She nodded even though it caused severe discomfort. As he finished the stitches and moved to look at her neck again, he gently pressed on the sides of her throat. Grace let out a soft, involuntary, whimper. Her eyes shot up to meet with Jacob’s and his face had changed. It was desperate, intermixed with anger—he couldn’t handle it, seeing her like that. Carlisle met her eyes and said “You’ve definitely got some swelling and bruising around the windpipe, but the muscle feels intact.” 

At this, there was a huge crash that caused Grace to jump. Rosalie was in the room now, having heard the noise, looking around quickly for the threat. One of the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the forest in the living room was completely shattered. Jacob had thrown his wolf body through it and darted off into the forest. Grace braced against the chill that crept in. 

“Sorry about that,” Grace wheezed. Carlisle gave her a reassuring smile. 

“I’m sorry about this. I shouldn’t have asked you to go. I thought...It doesn’t matter,” he said. He dashed and was back with a warm compress from his study that he gingerly fixed around Grace’s neck. “This should help with the swelling at least until your healing kicks in. Let’s get you up to the guest room,” he said softly. 

“Can someone actually give me a ride home?” her mouth was dry and the pain in her head was slowly subsiding but she was worried about the pack, about Jake. 

“Of course, we’ll take you home right away.” 

Grace carefully climbed the steps to her front door and gave Carlisle a wave as she went inside, shutting the door behind her. She let out a sigh of relief and pulled the compress off her neck as she climbed the stairs to her room. She clumsily pulled off her jeans and grabbed at a loose shirt that was hanging from her closet door. After pulling off her sweatshirt, t-shirt, and bra, she pulled on the oversized t-shirt and revelled in it’s warm cedar-like smell before collapsing on her bed and passing out, her phone buzzing wildly in the back pocket of her discarded jeans. 

Early muted sun came in through her porthole window above the bed. Distant thunder roiled somewhere outside. Grace groaned and rolled onto her side, slowly opening her eyes. She let out a quick gasp as her eyes put together the figure of Jacob, sitting low in the chair next to the bed that was usually piled with laundry.

“Fuck, Jacob,” she said softly. Her voice was rough, but the rasp was gone and she pulled in cool, clean breaths with ease. She tentatively brought a hand up to her neck and gingerly pressed it. The pain was gone and only a dull ache like a bruise remained. She felt better, but didn’t try to get up, resettling her head on the pillow to get a better look at Jake. His face was dark, brooding. His eyes were alight with fresh upset but it didn’t feel solely directed at her. 

“What were you thinking?” he said, his voice filled with disdain. Grace let her eyes rove over him carefully taking in his shape. She hadn’t been alone with him in her room since before she broke them. The feeling was strangely intimate and Grace didn’t let herself settle in it too long. 

“We’re trying to figure this thing out and I want some answers. For Bella,” she said simply her eyes glued to his face now. He had a hand resting lightly over his mouth and Grace silently wished that he would drop it so she could stare at his lips and remember every shape they took. 

“Do you have a death wish? Sam is…” Jacob stalled, his eyes locking more concretely with Grace’s now as he silently tried to communicate with her. She got simple flashes, Sam on his hind legs, rocketing back, snarling and snapping, the rising of howls moving around the forest, a volley of commands that she couldn’t quite make out.

“Yeah well..” Grace sighed sitting up now. Jacob’s eyes moved down the length of her body not covered by the sheet. “What?” she said quietly. 

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he said with relief. As if the realization gave him something special, clarity that he wasn’t expecting. She was confused by his tone and looked down to pluck at the shirt with her fingertips. 

“Oh. I was out of it when I got back.” She rubbed her hands over her eyes and gave a low yawn. 

“Grace you don’t get it, he—” Jacob was cut off by a crescendo of howls coming through the forest, his eyes snapped up and Grace looked out her window alarmed. 

Get down here. NOW. 

Grace heard the clear command in Sam’s voice and quickly jumped out of bed, alarm bells ringing her head. Something was wrong. The howls were clearly pained, as if they pulled against the voice that dragged them forward. 

Jake had already phased and had dashed into the forest. Grace quickly dressed and recast to his location, realizing too late that she was barefoot. The cool earth pricked at the warm soles of her feet as she stood in front of the towering black wolf. 

Jake was mingled in with the pack, nipping at Seth and Quil to stay back. Grace steadied herself as she looked up at Sam and felt the heat of his anger rolling off his body. 

Time and time again, you put this pack on the brink. You put each of us in danger with your recklessness. Going out there alone and putting your life at risk on an errand for a bloodsucker?! The disregard for your own life means I can’t trust you to help protect this pack.

Grace’s heart rate ticked up. Thunder crashed just offshore and the hair on the back of her neck rose. Whimpering sounds from the pack echoed behind Sam. 

“I’m trying to keep Bella alive and keep a war from starting.” Grace said simply. Her hands felt that familiar pain and she clenched and unclenched them into fists. 

You can no longer be trusted to have good judgement when it comes to the Cullens or Bella. And the Cullen’s clearly have you compromised if you’re out there doing their bidding. I won’t let it continue and have one of ours end up dead because of your clouded judgement. 

Grace’s eyes darted around to the pack now, unsure of what to do.  But Sam wasn’t backing down. He padded toward her, his muzzle open in a clear snarl, all teeth. 

You will either come under heel and submit to Alpha orders like everyone else here. Or you will be cast out and we will come after you if you interfere with us taking care of the threat. 

Grace swallowed hard. “So you’re going to kill Bella then, that’s your plan?” 

I tell you that you have two choices to maintain your connection to this pack—YOUR DESTINY—and instead you ask about if we’re going to kill Bella. It makes me sick!

At this, Sam lunged at her, his mouth open in a clear attack. Grace pushed her body back as she pulled energy up in front her, eyes wide. She went crashing back into the woods and came to halt once she slammed against a tree. 

“ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Grace shouted as she scrambled to her feet and rushed back into the clearing. There was a squabble of fighting amongst the wolves behind Sam. Their dissent was quickly quieted with a swift command from him. 

Choose. I won’t ask again. Sam was livid. This was beyond insane. The weight of this alpha command was stronger than any she had felt before and her body begged her to obey, desperate for relief. She felt the strain of it in the back of her head, the muscles surrounding her skull tightening dangerously, willing her to submit. But she pulled against it. There was no way she was going to let her pack murder her sister and her unborn baby. They meant too much and the pack meant too much. She’d never let them become those kinds of monsters. She gritted her teeth and leveled Sam’s gaze. 

“No.” she said between clenched teeth. There was another round of howls, whimpers, snaps, and snarls at her defiance. Sam recoiled, his ears back in clear anger. 

Enough. Fan out toward the Cullen’s. Don’t stop. Sam said.

We’re going to kill her?! 

Sam, wait please. 

Grace don’t do this.

There’s no other way, we have to kill this thing. Bella’s made her choice. 

Jacob do something! Seth’s voice was loud and clear as Sam charged toward Grace. The pack was held back by their alpha orders. Grace pulled up her energy as a shield again, teeth still gritted, digging her feet in and taking Sam’s blows as he battered against her again and again, pushing her back shouting: 

YOU. WILL. LISTEN. TO. ME. 

Jacob felt a sharp ripple move through him as he watched Sam advance on Grace again and again. She wouldn’t push Sam back, she wouldn’t hurt him—Jacob didn’t know if she was capable of hurting them in their wolf form or if something in her held her back. Still, she wouldn’t return the attack. Jake could see that she would lose. There was no way she could keep this up for long. Not after multiple alpha commands dragging her down while trying to keep herself standing against his barrage of attacks.

A ripping growl grew in the back of his throat as he watched, the chaos around him was shredding his sanity into pieces. Sam wouldn’t stop, Jacob knew that. 

Sam thought that Grace was putting them in danger and that he needed to protect them. But Jacob knew killing Bella wasn’t the answer either, and bringing Grace under Sam’s heel would backfire, it’s not how Grace felt the bond worked. 

Every time he hit her shield of energy, the sound crunched louder and louder, intermixed with his snarls and snaps. The crescendo of wolf thoughts wouldn’t cease either as they all escalated into panic. Jake was boiling over and he just wanted it to stop. 

Sam crashed into Grace in one final blow and her shield fell. She was pushed back up against a tree and slowly slipped down the trunk. Sam raised himself up on his hind legs to bring himself down upon her again, a paw raised with claws extended. An echo screamed through Jacob’s head, long forgotten and buried deep in his psyche. He felt pushed forward by unseen hands as his body sprinted toward Grace. 

Once he had rocketed toward her, the cries and shouts of his brothers went quiet as he launched himself at Sam’s broad back. 

His jaws grabbed around Sam’s shoulder. H was caught unaware and in his panic, Sam threw his head back snapping wildly to try and toss him off. But Jacob was strong, stronger than he thought, and he pulled him backwards onto the ground. Sam twisted out his grip and Jake moved his body in front of Grace as she pulled herself up, her breath quick and sharp. 

“Jake, don’t.” Grace said softly. He growled and widened his stance, blocking Grace from Sam’s view.

Get out of the way. Sam growled.

No. Jake shouted back. Sam’s ears went back and suddenly at his tone. Startled, Jacob realized he couldn’t hear anything, just his own quick breath as Sam narrowed his eyes on him again. 

What did you do?! Sam screamed.

You gave me no choice. This is not who we are, Sam. This is not who you are. 

What did you DO?! He lunged for Jacob and as Grace cried out. Jacob shook Sam’s muzzle off of his neck and beared down on him, crushing his ribs under his paws. Sam yelped as Jacob dug in and chomped harder, the other wolves pacing frantically behind him. 

I won’t let you hurt her. She’s under my protection now. SAY YOU UNDERSTAND! The command was clear and Sam yelped again, struggling harder against his tightening grip. 

I understand! Sam finally yelled out. Jacob released him immediately and Sam retreated to his pack. 

You’ve made a mistake, Jacob. You’ve destroyed this pack. We can’t come back from this. 

Jacob had had enough. He turned to give Grace a look that she acknowledged and she recast away deeper into the forest. Jacob would find her soon enough. 

The other pack members whined, confusion clear in their eyes. Jacob took one last look at them and took off as desperate howls rang out.

He ran in the direction that Grace went, knowing she’d be waiting for him. He saw her ahead in the clearing and quickly phased, pulling on his jean shorts before walking into the clearing. He let his eyes fall to the ground, realization sinking into him. His pack, his brothers, Leah, they were lost to him. Grace spun around, her eyes wild in shock:

“Did you just become alpha?!” Her voice was strained, shattered. He raised his eyes to her and in that moment everything stopped. A hush fell over the forest, unnaturally void of the chirps and rustling of the in its floor. The light seemed to glitter around them and the air grew thick and heavy despite the January cold. The thunder that had sounded off shore, clattered around them, lacing the air with electricity that splintered out and set their nerves on fire. 

Grace pulled in a sharp breath. The dangling thread that had snapped in her when Jake had left suddenly reacted, shooting down through her body like a steel cable and snapping to the forest floor. She felt grounded, tethered to the earth, but more than that, she felt tethered to him. The rushing noise was already washing through her, the immense pressure building and finally exhaling around her. The pull in her stomach rejoiced in an exalted sigh of pleasure as it said, Yes, it’s you. Finally. 

Jacob was stone in front of her, his eyes wide with understanding. It was her. The soul that had been calling out to him all this time had been hers and deep down he thought he always knew. It was like finally turning over a stone and revealing the glittering life beneath. Like pulling a relief of air into a stifling room, the cool rush of understanding washing over his too hot body. His mind buzzed with recognition: Grace, his imprint. 

Like a magnet, her pull begged her to move closer, but all Grace could get out was a soft, “Oh.” as they stared at each other. The sound suddenly returned to the forest, teeming with life and becoming all too loud. Tears welled around the bottom of her eyes as she became overcome with joy. The ancestor’s hadn’t forgotten about her. 

She held herself in place, waiting for his cue. His mouth opened and closed before he finally said, “Grace.” Calling her to him.

Grace sprinted forward. 

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

Azula the good sister AU (AKA the Fire siblings have a healthy relationship AU)

I’ve just finished binge watching Avatar the Last Airbender and I already have an AU ready in my head. Please enjoy my ridiculous rambling!

Azula is still really tough and intense but she isn’t a fucking psychopath like in the series

She’s still a bending prodigy and “daddy’s favorite” but the latter isn’t something she wanted or strived for

She shows affection by teasing people, but she is also fiercely loyal and protective over the people she cares about. Like she’s nice but she’ll still cut a bitch if they hurt her friends and brother.

As most siblings do Azula and Zuko like to playfully argue and insult each other:

Zuko: *having just woken up*

Azula: wow you look like shit

Zuko: big talk coming from a midget with rat nest hair

Azula: at least I only look like this in the morning, you willingly keep that rat tail on top of your head. No wonder you have no friends!

Zuko: oh yeah what’s your excuse then?

They’re the type of siblings that in a modern-day setting would send each other a picture of a toaster saying “I found you a new bath bomb”

She absolutely adores her older brother and Zuko took his role as older sibling in stride even if Azula could practically take care of herself

They’re great training partners

Their favorite memory as children was feeding turtle ducks with their mother, they still do so even now after she’s gone

When she overheard her grandfather ordering her father to kill Zuko she left to tell her mother immediately afterwards she snuck into Zuko’s room to cuddle with him in bed claiming that she’d had a nightmare.

Their mother came in to kiss them goodbye goodnight before disappearing into the night. Zuko had been half asleep so he had no idea what was going on but Azula did and she knew what her mother was about to do. She didn’t know what the outcome would be but she knew that it would be the last time she’d ever see her mother.

Azula never told Zuko what happened only that it was all their father’s fault

It was then they began mutually hating on their father

Of course, they had no choice but to respect him as he was still the Fire Lord and could possibly kill them. But as soon as he was out of ear shot the siblings were like:

Azula: Why the fuck did he think growing out his beard was a good idea???

Zuko: He looks like a goat-pig

Uncle Iroh treats them both as his own children and helps them perfect their fire bending as well as teach them the art of tea brewing. Zuko still thinks it’s stupid but Azula becomes just as much of a tea fanatic as her uncle

Azula has had a giant crush on Ty Lee ever since they were children and everyone, but Ty Lee knows about it. On the flip side Ty Lee also has a giant crush on Azula ever since childhood and everyone but Azula knows about it.

Azula: That's a sharp outfit, Ty Lee. Careful. You could puncture the hull of an empire-class Fire Nation battleship, leaving thousands to drown at sea, because it's so sharp.

Ty Le: *confused but happy that her crush complemented her* Gee thanks Zula.

Azula: *later, screaming into her pillow* I’m such an idiot!

Zuko: *sitting beside her, sipping tea* Yeah, you really are.

The day Zuko was challenged to Agni Kai Azula told him that he was an idiot and that he better kick that loser general’s ass or it would be an embarrassment to both their training. It was her own way of telling him to be careful and that she was rooting for him.

When she found out that it was her father challenging Zuko to Agni Kai she had to be held back by Iroh to keep her from jumping into the arena to help her brother

Azula was determined to join her brother in his banishment but Zuko wouldn’t allow her, saying how it was his fault for speaking out of term and that his sister shouldn’t have to suffer from his mistakes.

They had a big fight after that because the siblings were nothing if not hotheaded and stubborn. Zuko didn’t want his sister to leave all she knew behind just because of him and Azula didn’t want to be stuck doing nothing while her brother suffers alone.

They parted there days later, regretful, angry, and sad. They didn’t necessarily apologies (let’s be honest what kind of siblings apologies to each other) but they did start writing letters to each other, which was their way of saying that they were cool now.

Zuko wrote to her about his journey to find the Avatar as well as Uncle Iroh’s ridiculous jokes and tea ramblings while Azula wrote to him about how things are back home as well as potential places where the Avatar could be located.

Both aren’t sure if the Avatar even exists anymore, but they keep hoping as it means that they will one day be reunited with each other.

The day Zuko found the Avatar he entrusted only his sister with the information as he knew that once word got out that the Avatar was still alive it would be an all-out man hunt.

Everything works out relatively the same as in the series except with Azula helping out her brother in the background. She’d secretly send her brother information about general Zhao’s whereabouts so as to avoid him as well as any resources he needed for his journey.

When Ozai ordered Azula to go retrieve her brother and uncle she was both delighted and terrified; she was happy to see her brother again, but she didn’t want to take him as her prisoner. So of course, she came up with a plan.

The first thing Azula said to her brother after two and a half years apart was: “Wow, you look like shit.”

He replied without missing a beat: “Big talk coming from a midget with rat nest hair.”

They hug for the longest time and in that moment, she quietly resights her plan to him: They had to pretend to escape from her and go into hiding. She’ll pretend to hunt him down and he’ll somehow manage to escape from her clutches every time. All the while they’ll work together in trying to capture the Avatar.

She enlists the help of Mai and Ty Lee telling them the minimal amount of information just in case things go south they can plead manipulation. Of course, Mai and Ty Lee are ready to go down with their captain/friend no matter what, but they don’t mind being out of the loop for the time being. They trust Azula and know that everything she does is to help her brother and uncle.

The events leading up to the battle of Ba Sing Se are pretty similar up until the part where Zuko makes a choice between helping the Avatar or his kingdom. He’s realized the pain and terror his ancestors have installed in the world; tearing away hope for a better future.

Just as Azula was about to strike Aang with a finishing blow Zuko stops her, telling her what they’ve been doing is wrong and if they want the world to prosper, they need to help the Avatar.

Azula was a bit annoyed seeing as she went through the trouble of sneaking into Ba Sing Se and taking over the earth kingdom from the inside out. But then again, her brother was right as she already knew of her father’s end game plan.

Azula: Zuzu, I love you, but couldn’t you have told me we were going to rebel against father sooner so I could have planned accordingly.

Just as there are loyalist to the Fire Lord there are also loyalist to the Princess as they see her as a more fit leader than the current ruler. And thus, that is how team Avatar was able to get a good portion of the fire nation army on their side.

Ba Sing Se has now been established as their main base with the entire city now having chosen the side of the Avatar.

At this point Azula still had Suki and the Kyoshi warriors held prisoner close by so she was able to bring them back without much fuss.

Azula: Er, sorry for imprisoning you and stuff. I just needed to save my stupid brother but we’re on your side now. Cool?

Suki: Only if I get to punch you in the face as hard as I can.

Azula: That seems fair.

Katara does NOT trust Azula and Zuko which is fine because Azula doesn’t trust her either but she knows they need to work together if they want to even have a slim chance of beating her father.

Katara: You might have everyone else here buying your ‘transformation,’ but you and I both know you’ve struggled with doing the right thing in the past. So, let me tell you something right now. You make one step backward, one slipup, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, and you won’t have to worry about your destiny anymore. Because I’ll make sure your destiny ends right then and there. Permanently!

Azula: Right back attcha bitch!

Toph and Azula get along swimmingly which both amuses and terrifies Zuko because one: he’s glad that his sister is finally making somewhat normal friends but two: those two together is just chaos incarnate

Ty Lee also really bonds with the Kyoshi warriors who teach her some of their fighting techniques in exchanged for her teaching them some chi blocking moves.

Suki and Mai start getting cozy with each other with Suki liking Mai’s skills and straightforward attitude and Mai admiring Suki’s confidence and bravery. It’s easy to talk with each other.

Sokka, at one point: Why the hell don’t we just send the girls out to defeat the Fire Nation? We’re all completely useless compared to them.

Also after a few month working together Zuko can now join his sister in her gay screaming

Azula: Did you seriously fall for that Water Tribe boy?

Zuko: You’re one to talk!

Azula: Hey! Ty Lee is an angel and we’re all lucky to have her!

Zuko: She once ate a whole bowl of fire flakes by herself and had to get her stomach pumped.

Azula: Look, what Fire Nation teen hasn’t done that at least once

Zuko: She did it THREE times!

Once the siblings and Co finally bond well enough with team Avatar tension lessens and their attitude go from: “uhg, I guess we have to work together or whatever” to “you are my friend now and I would die for you! I would literally commit murder if you asked me to, no questions asked”

Aang is baby and the Fire squad has now joined in the “Aang protection army” and in a similar fashion team Avatar have also learned that Ty Lee is baby and have now joined the “Ty Lee protection squad”. Even though Aang and Ty Lee are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves one cannot help but want to protect and care for the literal ray of sun shines.

Zuko and Sokka still have their epic rescue adventure to the boiling rock, with the extra help of their team. They sneak into the facility with disguises, Azula and her crew walk in like they own the place (news of her betrayal to the Fire Lord has yet to reach certain places), while the rest of team Avatar keep watch from afar just in case things start going south.

You know that scene where Zuko gets put in the freezer and when Sokka goes to let him out Zuko breathes out a breath of fire with a smirk? It was then and there that Sokka realized that his teeny tiny crush on Zuko might actually be a giant massive crush.

In this AU it is actually Azula that helps Katara track down the man that killed her mother because let’s face it, no matter what universe she’s in Azula will always be down to beat a bitch is ass.

This is the first time Azula has ever witness somebody blood bending and unlike most people that would usually freak out she was actually really impress and kind of turned on.

Azula: You know if I weren’t already madly in love with Ty Lee, I’d ask you to marry me in a heartbeat.

Katara: And I would accept that offer if only for the pleasure of rubbing it in your dad’s face

Azula: Why didn’t we become friends sooner?!?!

It is then the Little Sister alliance was formed in which they teamed up to poke fun at their bumbling brothers who keep awkwardly dancing around each other.

Their friendship can be summed up to: “I will kill you where you stand but also I respect you”

Okay, Imma just say this right now: Sokka is a fucking badass and even after getting taught how to fight by the Kyoshi warriors and the Fire sibling + Co. he reached a whole new level of badassery once he learned the ways of the sword by Master Piandao. Zuko’s little gay heart could only take so much and Sokka being all cool and collected while wielding a sword made the former Fire Prince short-circuit.

Zuko, in his tent, face down screaming into his pillow: Uhg, I can’t with this boy anymore!

Suki, rolling her eyes at her best friend’s melodramatics: Pull yourself together man.

Ty Lee, patting his head reassuringly: Don’t worry, you’ll get through this.

Azula, sipping tea beside him: This wouldn’t be happening if you just asked him out already.

Zuko: Don’t you fucking start with me hypocritical bitch!

Azula: *nervous gay drinking*

The day of the final battle Azula and Katara lead Hakoda’s army plus the Kyoshi Warriors to reclaim the fire nation capital while Aang, Zuko, Sokka, and Toph chased after the Fire Lord and his war ships.

The battle to take back the capital was brutal as there was still an entire army keeping guard with one of the Fire Lord’s generals acting as temporary leader. Unfortunately for them Azula still had a reputation of fear amongst the Fire Nation army and a lot of soldiers surrendered once they realized it was her leading the invasion and not the Avatar. Those that didn’t surrendered were defeated in battle because let’s be honest with a team this fierce there is no way in hell they couldn’t not win.

There’s also a scene where Azula is fighting off the general and a bunch of soldiers and it seems like she’s not gunna make it but she does, bloody and bruised but victorious. I imagen in that moment Ty Lee goes running up to Azula, jumps into her arms, and kisses her right then and there, while they’re still in the middle of battle. It’s super cool and romantic and it seemed to give Azula more energy than Sozin’s comet ever could as she seemed now ready to defeat god.

Azula: Y’all bitches be fucked now! I ain’t afraid to die but now that I gotta girlfriend I’m not going nowhere fuckers!

With Aang and his team it goes about the same as it did in the show; take down the ships, battle the Fire Lord, almost die, etc. That scene where Sokka thinks that Suki died on the aircraft is now replaced with Zuko almost dying then coming back to save their asses at the late minute. They too also kiss once they see that the other is unharmed while Toph rolls her eyes and gags at the sight.

Again, Aang does not kill the Fire Lord and instead takes away his fire bending powers before locking him in prison to rot. The fire siblings come by sometimes to annoy the shit out of him by flicking fire flakes at his head for target practice or psychologically torture him with excruciating detail of how they’ve been thoroughly fucked by their significate others in is bed and on his thrown.

Zuko: How’s it feel knowing that not only are both your kids gay but they’re also bottoms?

Ozai: *screams*

Azula: Ty Lee also fucked me atop your war room table :)

Ozai: *screams intensify*

In the end Zuko really doesn’t want to be Fire Lord so he happily passes that torch on to Azula who only agrees to take the job so long as Zuko becomes her second in command. Everyone is happy and with a lot of hard work throughout the years there is finally peace amongst the four nations.

[sprnklersplashes]

work-love balance (rejanis one shot)

There are a number of reasons Regina wishes she didn’t have this job.

For one, the uniform is gross. And yeah the uniform is just an apron but it’s a gross apron. It’s navy, that’s all that needs to be said about it. Second, she’s realised she hates dealing with people. Not all people, there are a few that are okay, but some people are just so, so hard. And since she’s already on her second warning from her manager, she can’t tell someone to shove it whenever they snap their fingers at her, or don’t say thank you, or refuse to tip. She just has to swallow her pride, paint a smile on her face and complain when it’s quiet. Thirdly, it’s coming up to Christmas now which means she has to deal with Mariah Carey being played on a constant loop or six hours straight and not even Jolly St Nick himself could put up with that.

And fourth and most important; it eats into her Janis time.

Senior year is hard for both of them, especially now with finals coming up and work starting on their college applications. Janis is swamped with artwork, her hands constantly covered in paint, and Regina can barely breathe with all the assignments she has to get done. Where weekends were once for movie nights and coffee dates are now booked through with studying and projects and their conversations happening almost completely through the phone. They kept themselves busy enough earlier, with Regina’s lacrosse and Janis’ various extracurriculars, but now it seems that neither one can fit the other into their schedule. And believe it when they say they’re trying.

“Okay,” Janis sighs. They sit at an empty cafeteria table, a soft silence about the room at this early hour. Since the only time they see each other is in school, they agreed to come in early to try to work some sort of plan out. Regina was fine with it because she’d have been up anyway, Janis on the other hand was a little harder to persuade. A little begging, a lot of pleading, and a promise of a coffee on her swung it in the end. “Okay, so Monday is out, you have lacrosse training. Tuesday I have to study for my biology final. What about Wednesday?”

“I can’t,” she sighs. “Group project to work on. And then job-work after that. Thursday?”

“The talent show has their tech rehearsal. And they need the whole team down there.” Janis takes a long drink of her coffee, a scowl etched onto her face. Regina knows Janis loves doing the techy stuff for the school shows, and she outdoes herself every year, but she simply wishes that this year she’d have skipped it. Regardless of how good it looks on the college application. “Friday night?”

“More lacrosse practice,” Regina grumbles. “And I’m working.”

“Saturday and Sunday?”

“Work, work, work. Both in the school and the job.” Her head falls onto her arms, a low groan emitting from her and shaking the table. She feels Janis’ hand on her back making soft, reassuring pats and it makes her feel a little better, especially with her girlfriend mutters “there, there” in a half-joking, half-serious way that only Janis could pull off. A smile curls on her mouth, even if it’s muted by the rest of her frustrations.

“I just miss you,” she says, her head back up. “I miss how things used to be with us. You know…” She grins slyly, her finger tracing across the table until it reaches Janis’. “You and me. My room. Laptop between us.” Her fingers slowly interlink with Janis’ and she watches as the faintest hint of a blush creeps across her girlfriend’s cheeks. “Your head on my shoulder… us sharing the same blanket.”

“Stop,” she says softly, her voice so close to a plea. “You’re making me nostalgic.” She lets out a wistful sigh then, her thumb rubbing the back of Regina’s hand and sending goosebumps up her arms. “I miss you too. I mean who else is going to stop me from going crazy?”

“Thought that was Damian’s job.”

“Damian’s job is to keep me crazy.” She winks then and now it’s Regina’s turn to blush. “Your job is to keep me crazy.”

“My mistake,” she chuckles. Janis lifts her hand and presses a kiss to her fingers, her eyes never leaving hers, telling her she’s forgiven.

There’s a sort of breathless excitement she’s started feeling since dating Janis, and it comes in the small moments like this. Those moments have been so few and far between recently that Regina’s almost forgotten what that felt like, but here it is. The way her heart picks up just slightly, the way her veins seem to hum beneath her skin, the little soft feeling that unfurls in her stomach, all making her feel good-really, truly good-for the first time in a long, long time.

It doesn’t last long though, the bell ringing rudely and cutting into their alone time, and so they head off together, pinkie fingers linked, both hoping that somehow, they’ll find more time this week. She knows that it’s not likely, but if her relationship with Janis has taught Regina anything, it’s that miracles can happen. Sometimes they just need a little push.

Regina spies her opportunity for a ‘little push’ on Friday night. As per usual, the mall is absolutely packed with Christmas shoppers-parents buying for kids, teens getting Secret Santas and young men trying desperately to find a good gift for a girl who probably expects a ring. The mall is utterly flooded with people everywhere you look and that means that the line for Regina’s little milkshake shop is at least a mile long. She’s not been here an hour and both she and her colleague, a little wisp of a thing named Clara, both have headaches from the amount of screaming children and her cheeks sting from the smile plastered on her face. She’s been keeping score since she got here and so far there’s been three assholes telling them to hurry up and two Karens chastising her for her lack of customer service skills.

She wishes so badly she didn’t need this job, otherwise she’d flip each and every one of them off. Or, she would if she could remember their faces, but as she takes orders and turns around they all blend into one, and she doesn’t see them again until she’s shouted “small Skittles shake!” for the third time and the owner finally, finally comes forwards.

So all in all, she’s exhausted.

“Seriously,” she pants when she line dies down. “Who the heck wants milkshakes in December? Or ice cream? Why do we still sell that.”

“The kids,” Clara explains with a vague wave. “You know… kids like ice cream. And parents just want to shut them up.”

“Reminds me why I’m never having kids,” she scoffs and Clara actually laughs at that. She’s not so bad, not at all. She’s good fun and she’s nice, which is all you could want in a work buddy.

They serve the last few customers, and Regina wonders if she’ll actually be able to take a break, run down to the food court and get herself a sandwich, only to look up and find the manager appearing in front of them, carrying two cardboard boxes on his shoulder.

“You said you were running out of cones?” he asks.

“Did we?” She turns and looks and yep, their supply of cones has dwindled to almost nothing at all. Clara must have find a second, if even, to send him a text. “Oh yeah, thanks.”

“How have things been over here?”

“Well we’re alive,” Regina sighs. “Barely, but we’re alive. We made a lot of money if that’s what you’re interested in.”

“Oh, sounds good,” he says. “And Regina… you’re good to close up shop?”

“Yes I am,” she says through gritted teeth. He nods at that and gives her a brief, clipped thank you before asking her for the delivery receipts and heading on his merry way, back to his comfy office and his comfy office chair while they remain on their feet for the next few hours, serving customer after customer until they collapse. And then, with Clara leaving soon (she deserves it after all), Regina’s left to shut down all by herself…

Hang on. Lightbulb moment.

“Clara.” She grabs the other girl by the shoulder, her eyes wide and a smile tugging on the corners of her lips. “Can you hold the fort down while I go on my break?”

The girl hasn’t even finished saying ‘sure’ before Regina is gone, flying down the halls and pushing past people as fast her legs can carry her, her months of lacrosse training finally being useful. She makes a quick pitstop at the foodcourt and grabs herself some dinner before sitting down at an empty table and whipping her phone out, mistyping the number twice in her excitement.

Janis picks up on the second ring and that’s still not fast enough.

“Regina?”

“Hey,” she says through a mouthful of noodles, a small prick of anxiety in her gut. “Okay, so what are you doing tonight?”

“Um, nothing I guess,” she says. “Homework, art, watching Netflix. Why?”

“Because I have an idea,” she begins. “For us.”

“Oh do share.”

“It’s a surprise.” She can practically see Janis’ face falling. She hates surprises, and that’s what makes this fun. “I just need you to trust me on this.”

“Okay… I trust you,” she says in the least-convincing voice Regina has ever heard.

“Perfect,” she says. “Just get here late and hang around until 9 okay?”

“9? The mall closes at 9.”

“9:15 actually.” She wolfs down some more noodles. “Just be subtle when you get in here, okay? Be sneaky.”

“And then you’ll reveal to me your mysterious plan?”

“I promise.” She hears Janis laughing then and oh what that sound does to her heart.

“Okay. I better get some studying done then before I get there.”

“And I need to finish my food. Oh and Janis-” she interjects. “Bring your laptop. And your charger. Just in case, you know?”

And it’s the long, confused ‘okay’ from Janis that makes this all so worthwhile.

The mall is practically deserted when Regina switches off the sign and gets out the brush and pan. Normally the clean-up process is painfully slow, what with the dozens of things that need doing and Regina feeling utterly drained by the end of the night. But tonight she’s found a source of energy she didn’t know she had, one that has everything to do with her girlfriend, and she wipes down surfaces and brushes the floors in double quick time and throws things in the fridge with no rhyme or reason. She sprints out to the dumpster with the trash and back again in less than ten seconds, determined that nothing and no-one cuts into her time with Janis. She’s so focussed on her mental to-do list that she doesn’t even notice a person coming up behind her, not until she hears those dreaded words-

“Hi can I get a large Reese’s milkshake?”

Oh for the love of-

But her rant is stopped entirely when she turns and sees only Janis, chuckling on the opposite side of the counter, hair slightly damp and her backpack on her shoulders, a self-satisfied gleam in her eyes.

“Asshole,” she sighs. “That’s what you are. An absolute asshole.” She waves her hand. “Come on in, asshole.”

“Oh someone’s been busy,” she comments. “You know, I did get a little worried when I didn’t receive one snapchat from you about how much you hate the closing shift.”

“Oh shut up.” She checks that the coast is clear and then pulls down the shutter, with them still inside. Thankfully she had the foresight to slip the stepstool underneath it, preventing them from being shut in completely, but Janis’ eyebrows still shoot up, her mouth hanging half-open in a silent scream of oh my god my girlfriend’s finally lost it.

“Regina…” she begins. “Please look me in the eyes and tell me you are not locking me in a milkshake store with you. Please, tell me that.”

“Don’t worry,” she says. “I’m not locking us in. What I am doing is having an amazing idea for a date night.”

“Which is…” Regina gestures around them.

“Look around,” she says. “We’re alone. We have all the ice cream we can eat. We have sparkly lights. And you have your laptop, so we can whack on something cute. Or something dark if you’re into it.” She shrugs. “I thought if my job interrupts our dates, maybe we could have a date at work.”

For two seconds, maybe less, a cold fear washes over her as she waits for Janis’ reaction. Maybe this is too far, maybe she already had plans, maybe she doesn’t want to sit on a dirty floor with her.

Or maybe, she’s throwing her arms around her and the force of her body is throwing them back. Maybe she’s giggling into her shoulder and rocking the two of them gently, her smile brighter than any of the lights and sweeter than any of the candy around them.

“This is amazing,” she whispers. “You’re amazing. Maddening and possibly crazy, but amazing.”

She kisses her then and Regina wonders how she can still get butterflies in her stomach, even now.

They sit down on the floor, using their jackets as impromptu blankets, and Regina grabs some ice cream from the freezer, settling on Rocky Road after some deliberation, while Janis opens up her laptop. The heat from the computer contrasts with the coldness of the ice cream, both balanced across their legs, and it’s an odd sensation to say the least, but Regina doesn’t care.  They keep the ice cream close by and the toppings even closer; Janis has already covered her servings in chocolate sauce, and of course, rainbow sprinkles. The opening credits of To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before play onscreen, which Janis swears she only watches because Regina likes it so much, but she’s heard the muffled squeals behind her hand. She knows how she feels and one day she’ll get her to admit it.

But for now she just leans her head on Janis’ shoulder and snuggles into her. Janis presses a kiss to her head, slow and soft and so precious and Regina concludes that if they get trapped in here overnight, it won’t be so bad. Not if there’s Janis.

[heyitssmiller]

Clandestine

It’s here! The Sweater Weather/Coast to Coast Spy AU has officially begun! Thanks to everyone who’s asked questions/thought of ideas/showed excitement for this!! As always, characters belong to the lovely @lumosinlove! And thank you, @donttouchmycarrots​ for proofreading this!

Here’s the Clandestine Masterlist

Chapter One

.

Remus Lupin was being followed.

He hadn’t been out in the field for years now, but some habits would always stick with him. Surreptitiously glancing over his shoulder as he walked down the street towards his flat, listening for falling footsteps or sudden noises, and – most importantly – trusting his gut.

He could feel eyes on the back of his head and knew from experience that he wasn’t just being paranoid.

He took a few seconds to think about it, then grabbed his phone, pretending to be oblivious, and called Potter before slipping his phone back into his pocket and keeping his steps even and casual. Sure enough, his follower tried to take advantage of his supposed slip in focus and grabbed his arm. But Remus knew it was coming and caught the assailant by the forearm, using their forward momentum to pin him to a nearby wall.

“Why are you following me?” Remus demanded, breath clouding in the cool night air before he recognized his attacker. Dark curls, dove-gray eyes, high cheekbones.

Sirius Black, a prominent member of the Snakes, the Slytherin mafia. Sirius Black, who was actively being hunted down by the intelligence agency Remus worked for.

Sirius Black, who wasn’t even trying to fight back or break free. For some unknown reason, he was in Gryffindor - where an entire intelligence agency was trying to take him and the organization he was a part of down - and yet he seemed completely calm. Nonchalant, even. As if this were just a walk in the park on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Remus narrowed his eyes at Black. “What’s going on?”

Black reached into Remus’ pocket, pulled out his phone, and ended the call to Potter. “Not here. Do you have somewhere quiet we can talk?”

Remus arched an eyebrow. “Yes, but I’ll need to call that guy back. If I don’t he’ll panic and he won’t hesitate to shoot on sight if he thinks I’m in trouble.”

That wasn’t necessarily true, but Black didn’t need to know that.

After quickly calling Potter back and explaining what was going on, he hung up and led the way back to his flat. He knew that was a better option that going back to Gryffindor Intelligence. If he felt like this put him in danger, he could move pretty easily. It’s not like he had many belongings to begin with. Uprooting the agency would be next to impossible.

“If people end up breaking into my house after this, I will hunt you down.”

“Yeah,” Black scoffed, kicking a rock farther down the sidewalk, then kicking it again when he caught up with it. “You’ve done a great job of that so far.”

“And yet you’re here for some reason. That can only mean two possible things.”

Black had to abandon the rock as they took the stairs up to Remus’ flat. “Oh? Do tell.”

“One, this is a crazy scheme to slowly kill off Gryffindor Intelligence one by one and, for whatever reason, you decided to start with me.” Remus fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his door. “Or two, which is more likely, you need our help. The only question I have left is why the great Sirius Black is stooping to ask us for help.”

He closed the door behind them and watched as Black took in his surroundings. It wasn’t much: a ratty old couch, a coffee table, warm brown-toned walls, and too many dying potted plants. 

He really needed to remember to water those.

“I ran away from the Snakes and I can help you take them down once and for all.”

Remus blinked at the suddenness of that statement. This… this could change everything. They might actually be able to take the Snakes down, after years of trying and failing. He had so many questions. What changed to make him want to leave? Why now? But none of those seemed to matter at that moment. There was only one question Remus needed to know the answer to immediately.

“What’s in it for you?”

Black shifted on his feet. “My brother…” He sighed, refusing to look at Remus. “He’s still there. And he’s innocent in all this – as innocent as he can be, in a situation like that. I need you to ensure that you can get him out safely before we take them down.”

“I’m sure something can be arranged.” Remus agreed. He knew of Regulus, of course. It was his job, after all. And he didn’t seem as innocent as his older brother was trying to paint him out to be. At the end of the day, though, it didn’t really matter. Letting Regulus go free, guilty or not, would be a small price to pay for taking down one of the biggest mafias in the country. “What’s your plan?”

For the first time Remus had ever seen, Black smiled. “It’s all in the flash drives.”

Remus called Pots and Moody over; this was too much for him to deal with on his own. James he trusted with everything - it didn’t even cross his mind not to call his friend. He was probably dying of curiosity after that phone call, anyways. Remus wouldn’t have been surprised if he was already on his way to Remus’ flat before he got the call. And Moody could sniff out a liar like no one Remus had ever seen. If Black was lying - about any of this - Moody would know.

James opened the door then, making a beeline for Remus and dragging him into the kitchen to talk to him in private. “Alright, Loops?”

“I’m fine.”

Pots relaxed, but only slightly. “So he just... showed up?”

“Tried to grab my arm on the way home.”

“So you brought him back to your flat? I mean, I know you voted for him as the most attractive in Criminal Choice Awards, but come on, Loops.” He said, referencing the game they’d played with the rest of Gryffindor Intelligence over New Year’s while outrageously drunk.

“First of all, we don’t talk about that game. That was a fiasco and should be considered top secret intel. Second of all, what else was I supposed to do? He said he could help us take down the Snakes. I couldn’t just let an opportunity like that pass us by.”

“Ok, fine.” James agreed reluctantly. “We’ll hear him out, but I can’t promise we’ll do anything else.” He then turned to walk back into the living room and glared at the stranger in the room. “Black.”

“Potter.” Black said with a taunting smile. “How’s the kid?”

“Don’t you dare – ”

Moody walked into his flat with his gun already drawn and aimed at Black. Remus sighed. “Is that really necessary?”

“You can never be too vigilant.” He mumbled, not taking his eyes off Black, who just grinned and sent Moody a sarcastic wave.

“If we’re going to get this done,” Remus interrupted, still clutching James’ arm in a firm grip to hold him back. “We need to work together. So stop antagonizing each other and let’s get to work. Black, you mentioned flash drives?”

Black nodded. “Riddle keeps all the information about the Snakes on seven separate flash drives. I could tell you some of the information, but there’s too many groups and people that I don’t have memorized. If you want to catch all the members and informants and organizations under the Snakes’ control, you need those flash drives. As soon as you try to take the Snakes down, they’ll all scatter and you’ll never find them again if you don’t already know who you’re looking for. Do you have coffee? It’s quite late and this is bound to be a long conversation.”

“I don’t drink coffee.” Remus lied, although he could tell Black saw right through him. “Keep talking.”

He sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes, leaning back on the couch to get more comfortable and staring up at the ceiling as he continued in a bored tone, “He keeps the drives in different locations. One he keeps with him at all times. One’s in a safe in his office, and two are with his most-trusted men – Bellatrix and my brother.”

“And yet your brother is innocent?” Remus asked skeptically.

Black glared at him, all sense of nonchalance gone. When he spoke, his voice was deadly. “He’s done more in terms of taking the Snakes down than you have. We’ve been trying to destroy them from the inside for years, but there’s only so much two people can do.”

Remus understood now why people were so afraid of him. That piercing gray gaze was chilling.

“Ok, fine. Where are the rest of the drives?”

Like a flip had been switched, Black reverted back to casual as if nothing had happened. “There’s three in separate safes across the city – one’s in the police station, and two are in safety deposit boxes in different banks. That’s seven.”

James met Remus’ gaze. “Winter? He’s the best at cracking safes.”

Black grimaced. “And there’s our biggest roadblock. The Snakes know who you are.”

“What?”

“All of your active agents, the ones who have tried to take the Snakes down previously, they have files on.”

Moody looked like he was about to have a stroke. Black shrugged. “Their informants are no joke.”

“So what do you expect us to do, if we’ll be recognized as soon as we step foot into the city?” Remus demanded, running a list of their agents through his head and eliminating nearly all of them one by one. 

“Surely you have some agents who haven’t gone up against the Snakes yet.”

Remus blinked. “You’re joking. This is your grand plan? That eliminates about ninety-five percent of our candidates. And those five percent left? Maybe two percent are trained and ready to go out into the field. This is a huge op - we can’t just send anyone.”

“You got a better idea?”

“Hang on,” James said, and Remus groaned. He could see that glint in his eyes. The glint that meant he had an idea brewing.

Nothing good ever came from that glint. 

“We can send O’Hara.”

“See? We already have a candidate!” Black cheered, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. Remus bristled. “Who’s O’Hara?”

“We recruited him right after he graduated from Harvard last year. He’s got a near perfect memory, and he’s really good with people. He normally does stake outs or reconnaissance and the occasional honeypot.”

“He’d be good for this,” Moody gruffly added. “He can charm the pants off of just about anybody. Makes it easy to get what you want.”

“I think Tremblay would be a good fit, too.” Remus chimed in, thinking it through. They’d work well together. Finn might drive Logan insane, but they’d get the job done. Hopefully. “Bring in some extra muscle just in case things get dicey, which they always do with the Snakes.”

“He hasn’t worked a Snakes mission before?” James asked.

Remus shook his head. “He’s been back and forth between here and Beauxbatons, remember? Since he’s fluent in French.”

“Can he crack open safes?” Black asked impatiently.

“No,” James said, but he was still smiling. “But we know someone who can.”

Remus thought about it for a second, then turned to gape at James when he figured it out. “James, you can’t be serious.”

“Why not? He’s a perfect fit! And the only other person besides Winter who can consistently crack a safe.”

“He’s a kid.”

“He’s not that much younger than O’Hara or Tremblay, and you’re fine with sending them.”

“He’s never even been out in the field before!”

“Winter says he’s almost as good as himself.”

“He’s inexperienced, and he’s going to get himself or one of the others killed.”

“Ok, so then what do you suggest?” James demanded, throwing up his arms in frustration. “Do you know anyone else who could do it?”

Remus stared at him at a loss, much to his chagrin. They’d never had to worry about this before - Winter did all their missions when they needed to break into something. They’d never needed anyone else before.

Now it seemed like their biggest operation to date would be in the hands of a rookie.

After a beat of silence, Moody spoke up. “I agree with Potter. He’s our only option, if the rest of our agents are compromised. We can talk to Winter in the morning, see if he’s ready for this.”

Remus sighed, but didn’t argue.

“I’m sorry,” Black said. “But who are we talking about?”

James grinned. “Nut.”

“That’s his name?”

“Oh my god.” Remus groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

***

Leo Knut (it’s pronounced newt, thank you very much) sat at his work station with twelve different locks in front of him, along with his pick, rake, and tension wrench. He took a deep, steadying breath and started his timer before instantly getting his hands on his first lock.

Insert tension wrench. Use the pick to find the binding pin and set it. Set the rest of the pins. Turn the tension wrench and…

The lock clicked open.

Leo quickly set it down and picked the next one up, repeating the same steps and singing along quietly to the song playing on his phone.

“All I want, all I want is you, your violet disposition, my unsound intuit – aaah!” He shouted when someone suddenly sat down on the bench next to him. “Fuck, Winter.”

Kasey raised an eyebrow. “You need to pay more attention to your surroundings when you’re on the job. Also, you’re tone deaf.”

“Thanks.” Leo muttered, reaching over to stop his timer and turn his music off. “Why are you here so early? Aren’t you usually asleep right now?”

“Yeah, but I got a call from Loops.”

Leo, always one to keep his hands busy, began messing with another lock. “You got another job?”

“No,” Kasey said, drawing out the vowel. “But you might.”

Leo laughed. “You’re kidding.” After a few seconds of silence, he looked back up again. Kasey’s face was dead serious. Leo set his lock and tools down. “You’re not kidding. What the hell? What’s the job?”

“You’d be going after the Snakes.”

Normally, Leo appreciated being direct and straightforward. 

This was not one of those times.

“As in the mafia? Those Snakes?”

“Yup.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yup.”

Leo knew of the Snakes, of course. And he knew that Gryffindor had been after them for years, which meant it was a big deal. So why were they putting him on the job and not Winter? He had experience in pickpocketing tourists in the streets of New Orleans and opening locks. He’d only started cracking safes under Winter’s instructions eight months ago. Why him?

“Is Loops insane? This would be my first job!”

“It was technically Pots’ idea.”

“Oh. Well, that makes a lot more sense.”

“Nut – ”

“That’s not my name – ”

“This is big for a first job.”

Leo fiddled with another lock, listening to the soothingly repetitive sound of pins setting. It was familiar, solid ground.

This, though, would be uncharted territory.

“I know.” He said anyways, trying to settle his nerves. 

“You think you’re ready for it?”

Leo looked down, collecting his thoughts before speaking. “I’ve got to prove myself somehow, right? What better way to do that than by taking down one of the biggest gangs in the country?”

Kasey laughed. “You’re crazy.”

“I’m from Louisiana – it’s in our blood.”

“Okay, you crazy Cajun. You’ve got your first debriefing at 10:30. Please don’t be late your first day on the job.”

“Who am I working with?” Leo asked, tilting his head. “I mean, I’ve got to have partners, right?”

Kasey just smiled. “Trust me, Nut. You’re going to love them.”

***

Logan and Loops were the only ones in the briefing room so far.

And it was awkward. 

Obviously Logan knew who he was – everyone knew his story – but they weren’t talking. The briefing room with the almost-hilariously large table was completely silent besides the occasional rustling of paper or the sound of the air conditioning turning on again. Logan couldn’t remember ever talking to the handler before. Maybe briefly, at that disastrous New Year’s party.

God, that party.

Logan steadfastly refused to think of the New Year’s party.

That is, until a familiar face walked through the door.

The redhead looked up, doe-eyes widening as he recognized Logan. “It’s you!”

Fuck, he was even more attractive now that Logan was sober.

Logan forcefully pushed aside hazy memories of laughing too loud at a story the redhead was telling, cuddled up on the couch with red solo cups in their hands and an almost-kiss as the clock struck midnight that Logan had wanted more than anything. He smiled faintly instead. “It’s you!”

The agent sat down excitedly next to Logan, eager eyes peering out at him from behind tortoiseshell glasses. “How’ve you been? Guess we’re partners now, huh?”

“Guess so.” He said faintly, the word fuck rattling around in his brain on an endless loop.

“I don’t think I caught your name at the party.”

“Oh. Logan. Logan Tremblay.”

“Finn O’Hara.” He replied, holding a hand out for Logan to shake. He then looked over to Loops. “We’ve still got a few more coming, right?”

He nodded reluctantly. “Unless one of you knows how to crack a safe, by any chance.”

Logan snorted, then shook his head. He wasn’t good at small, delicate things like that. Bashing heads in and upper cuts, though... “Nope.” He said simply, leaving it at that.

“Absolutely not.” Finn agreed.

Loops sighed. “That’s what I – ”

The door slowly opened to reveal a tall, blond boy with messy hair and cornflower blue eyes. He looked at the three of them, seeming a little nervous. “Uh, hey. I’m Leo – is this the right room?” He asked in a softly-accented voice.

“Yeah, come on in.” Loops said, which made Leo smile and –

Dimples.

Logan quickly shifted his focus back to Loops as he began to talk again. “Knut, meet O’Hara and Tremblay. They’re your partners for this mission. We have one more person coming before we can get started,” He glanced down at his watch. “But apparently he’s running late.”

“Oh, Lupin, you almost sound concerned.”

Logan’s head shot up at the voice. Sirius Black strode through the door, giving Loops a flirty wink before looking at the three of them. He grinned. “So which one if you is unfortunate enough to have the last name Nut?”

Leo sighed, while the other two fought to keep their laughter at bay. “It’s pronounced newt.”

“Not anymore. You can’t expect people to pass up a nickname like that, kid.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“What? Nut or kid?”

“Both.”

Black just grinned again. “Not a chance.”

“Are you done harassing our operatives, Black?”

“Why? Are you feeling left out?”

Loops glared at him, but his cheeks turned slightly pink. “Why don’t you start debriefing them instead.” It wasn’t a suggestion.

“Buzzkill.” He muttered, but threw himself into one of the chairs. “You might want to write this down – I’m only saying it once and I don’t have any of it in files or anything.”

Logan couldn’t decide whether he should be impressed or repulsed by the lack of professionalism. He looked over at Nut, who was already waiting with a pen and notepad, clicking his pen repeatedly. Logan gritted his teeth and tried to tune out the noise. O’Hara was just sitting back in his chair, content to listen apparently. Logan settled for somewhere in the middle and grabbed one piece of paper and a pencil.

“Alright, here’s the deal. I’m sure you know who I am: Sirius Black, ex-member of the Snakes, blah blah blah. You get it. Well, I’m here to help you take the Snakes down. All the evidence we need of importing drugs, trafficking, laundering, bribery, blackmail – Christ, this list is long. You get the picture. Everything illegal they’ve done, the evidence is on seven flash drives. We need you to get all seven and get my brother out safely before we can officially take them down. Easy enough, right?”

“This is going to be a long op,” Loops cut in, making meaningful eye contact with the three of them. “I’m talking weeks to months here. We’ve got a lot of intel we still need, a lot of planning to do. And it’s not going to be easy. If you don’t feel like you’re up for the task, speak up now.”

Logan sent a surreptitious glance at his new partners. O’Hara looked excited at the prospect of a mission like this. Nut still looked nervous, but his eyes were determined, focused.

They all stayed silent.

“Perfect. Then let’s get started.”

[nearlynorth]

Found Family

This fic was written for the Renegades Content Swap hosted by @ruby-assassin and @narcissacronin ! This is for @rubys-finger-cymbals !

"Okay, I have chips, pretzels, popcorn, cookies, and soda. Is there anything else that anybody wants?" Adrain came walking into the living room of his house, his hands laden down with a wooden tray carrying all of the aforementioned items.

"Ooh, do you have the lemon-coconut cookies?" Ruby asked from where she was seated on the couch. She was nestled into Oscar's side, her feet curled underneath her. Her red-painted toenails peeked out from underneath her legs, matching her fingernails.

Adrian nodded in confirmation, setting the tray of snacks down on the brown wooden coffee table in the middle of the room. It settled with a thunk, wood clacking on metal. "I doubt they'll be as good as your mom's though."

"Nothing can ever match the baking of Ruby's mom," Oscar said, even as his hand snaked out to take a cookie. Ruby snatched it out out of his grasp, taking a bite out of it and smiling up at him. "Hey, that was my cookie!" Oscar shouted, humor tinging his voice.

"Well, it's my cookie now." Ruby dangled it in front of his face, her mouth open and showing her chewing. Oscar thought that it was slightly gross, but also cute. He thought that everything that Ruby did was cute.

"Ugh." A fake gag sound was heard from the other side of the room as Danna mimed throwing up. "Could you two be any more disgustingly in love? I'm regurgitating my lunch over here." Danna's blonde dreadlocks were pulled back out of her face, making her expression of disgust easily able to be seen by everyone in the room. A grin was set on her face even as she teased the couple, whose faces were burning red.

"You're just mad because Narcissa couldn't come," Nova said. She was sitting diagonally to Danna, Adrian seated beside her. A bag of popcorn was on her lap, and her bracelet with a  dark new stone was clasped around her wrist.

At Nova's words, Danna's smile faltered slightly. She still hadn't completely forgiven Nova for trapping her in the glass jar for all that time, and she didn't entirely trust the other girl. Months later, there was still some bad blood between them. Nova had yet to find a time where they could talk it out, which she wasn't looking forward to. Talking about feelings was not something that Nova excelled at.

"Shut up," Danna muttered. "We aren't together," she added on under her breath, her smile coming back at the thought of Narcissa. Narcissa has broken the jar that she had been trapped in, and Danna had formed an immediate liking to the girl. She had been waiting until everything settled down to peruse a relationship, but the whole team knew. They hadn't been secretive about their feelings for each other, they just chose better places than the middle of battles to confess them.

"Yet!" Ruby said in a sing-songy voice, giggling. She munched on another cookie, savoring its taste. Adrian was right, it wasn't as good as her mother's, but it was still tasty.

"Ruby, can you get me a chip?" Oscar asked with a wink. "My arms are so tired."

"From doing what?" Ruby said, friendly suspicion in her voice. They were friends first, lovers second, and their newfound relationship wasn't going to change that.

"I'll have you know that I went to the gym just this morning. This rockin' bod doesn't come from nothing," Oscar said cheekily as he gestured to himself. He flexed his arm muscles, making a stereotypical muscle man pose.

Oscar's actions caused a laugh to erupt out of Ruby's mouth, which she quickly clapped both of her hands over to stifle the sound. "I'm sorry- you're just-" she managed to gasp out around her laughter. They were a couple, which meant that she was now free to laugh as loud as she wanted at his antics. There was so much less to worry about in the world now. There were no Anarchists looming in the shadows, no constant worry. Ruby knew that they were going to have to confront the changes someday, but for now, she just wanted to enjoy a game night with her friends and boyfriend.

Nova's teeth crunched down upon a piece of popcorn that she tossed into her mouth. "Hey," she said softly to Adrian, looking at her friends gathered in the room. Ruby and Oscar were being cute together, and Danna was pretending to be disgusted by them. "This is nice."

"You like it?" Adrian asked her, a hopeful smile on his face. This was one of their first whole group activities since the "Supernova," and he wanted it to be perfect. The world was changed, but for now, they could pretend to be a normal teenage couple.

Nova nodded. "I really like it," she said, matching his smile. She reached for another piece of popcorn, and her hand touched something hard in the bag. It was Adrian's hand, and he looped his fingers around hers. Her cheeks colored slightly, a blush spreading across her face. She still wasn't used to being like this, being happy. It was a relatively new feeling, and she liked it. A lot.

"That's good," Adrian replied. He brought their hands out of the popcorn bowl and rested them under his chin. "You don't know how much convincing it took to get my dads to take Max out for the night."

"They deserve to have fun too!" Nova said. Adrian's dads made her slightly nervous. She felt like they still saw her as Nightmare, the girl who had almost gotten both of their sons killed.

"Hey, don't worry," Adrian said, bringing a hand to Nova's face. "They like you." He always seemed to know just the right thing to say to Nova to make her feel better. It was one of the things that she loved the most about him.

Nova looked at her friends and her boyfriend, and her heart filled with love. This was what a family was like, a place where you could laugh and be yourself. Nova finally had a family, and it didn't matter that it wasn't flesh and blood. Sometimes the best families are the ones that we choose for ourselves.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and dating Veronica Sawyer

(Not my gif)(requested by anonymous)

- You meet Veronica in the lunch room as she’s walking around with Heather. You’re sat at a table with your friends when the two girls come up to your table and ask you the daily poll.

- When she sees you for the first time she just can’t seem to take her eyes off of you. At first she thinks perhaps it’s because she hasn’t seen you around school before or just out of admiration for your style/features. But then you complimented her outfit and she internally lost her shit for a good minute, it was then she realized that this was not in fact a normal reaction and something was going on with her.

- Soon enough she realizes what exactly is going on and it ...slightly troubles her. Where she’s from being gay isn’t exactly normal nor really accepted.

- As much as she doesn’t particularly like/trust the Heathers she also has no one else to talk to, so with reluctance she tells them about her feelings for you. Heather C basically just says “Well you didn’t pick the worst chick to want to date. She’s not a total mutant like some of these people…could use some more blush though.”

- It’s easy to forget that the Heathers and Veronica were actually friends no matter how catty they could be with one another. They still sort of want the best for each other so when Veronica confides in them they attempt to give her any advice they can. They do do her a favor (without her knowing) and invite you to ‘Become a Heather’ which you slightly agree to meaning you and Veronica get close.

- She doesn’t really know what to do about her feelings, she wants to act on them but that doesn’t feel like an option considering where she’s from. She writes a lot of diary entries about you and her feelings just to get everything out.

- You both do that whole ‘you stare at the person and when the person looks at you, you look away then that person stares at you until you look at them’ thing.

- Her heart races every time you compliment her and vice versa (but she doesn’t know that just yet).

- She begins to write you secret admirer notes. You have no idea it’s her because she disguises her handwriting every time she writes them. It kind of makes her smile when she gets to hear all about how cute you find the little letters and seeing all the Heathers giggle along as you read them.

- You only find out its her when you catch her slipping one into your locker but at the time you assume it’s just an invitation to a party or some notes you might have missed from class. It’s only when schools over that you get to read what she dropped in and it’s another lovey dovey note.

- You call her after school to hangout and when she comes to your house you act as though everything’s normal until you hand her the note. She tenses up and freezes in her place as you wait for a response. As quickly as she can she tries to apologize and explain herself before you stop her, telling her it’s alright.

“It is?”

“It is.”

“...You’re not mad?”

“No, in fact I’m quite happy.”

“...really?”

“Yes really, I’m just waiting.”

“For what?”

“For you to ask me out.” She looks at you completely shocked before a smile spreads across her face and she asks you out.

- The two of you go to a bookstore where you both split apart and find a book you think the other will enjoy. After you meet up again you go back to her place and read together while listening to some soft music.

- Your first kiss is that day as your date ends. She stops you as you’re about to open the door to her room and puts a hand on your cheek, leaning in and kissing you. The two of you break apart smiling and you leave her house happy and excited with your new relationship.

- A lot of kissing and cuddling.

- She’s open to sex pretty early on so it depends if you want to or not, she doesn’t want you to feel pressured to do it. 

- She’s a self admitted mini genius so she’s happy to help you study and plan your calendar.

- She definitely forges notes/passes so that she can get you out of class with her. You just have to hint at needing a signature or something and she’ll do it for you.

- Horror movies are her ally. She loves having you grab her hand whenever you get a good scare.

- She’s probably a little insecure after having been friends with Heather Chandler for so long and being the talk of the school for better and for worse. 

- She tells you you’re beautiful all the time and gives you this adorable little smile when you tell her the same. 

- She sort of prefers to stay out of the spotlight especially when you’re together just in case people start to get suspicious. She’ll grab a lunch table in the far corner of the cafeteria or the two of you will eat somewhere else together.

- The Heathers usually butt their way into your lunch dates or dates in general. They’ll just show up and sit with you all while starting a conversation about something that’s just happened to them.

- The Heathers choose to ignore your relationship, it’s not that they don’t like it just that they think it’s best to be willfully ignorant. They’re still getting used to the fact that they know not one but two gay/bi/etc girls.

- She’s a raging pessimist most of the time but you brighten up her outlook on life. 

- You guys play croquet a lot. She’s happy to teach you if you dont know how to play.

- Her room is really cosy so you guys hangout in there a lot. It’s also a bonus that her parents are completely clueless as to what you two actually are. They just think you’re really good friends like her and the Heathers.

- She writes you little poems every now and again.

- Makes up overdramatic plays to entertain you starring a very overdone preformance by her.

- She wants to protect you all the time, she knows just how mean people can be.

- She usually has an arm around your shoulder or looped with your own during the school day. It’s a normal thing for ‘ friends’ especially the Heathers to be affectionate with each other so no one questions it.

- Pâté with her parents.

- You have dinner at her house at least once a week, afterwards you, her and her parents sit and watch tv together.

- She definitely has some deep rooted issues that she doesn’t talk about (in the movie you’ll see that now and again she tries to hurt herself). You try to help her anyway you can but ultimately wait until she’s ready to come to you about what wrong with her.

- Being there when she needs someone to rant to especially about Heather C.

- She can always tell when something’s wrong and makes sure to be there for you when you need it.

- Having to bite your tongue whenever someone flirts with one of you or the both of you at the same time.

- She strokes your hair absentmindedly whenever you’re sitting and watching tv together.

- Fights are usually screaming matches but they’re resolved pretty easily and quickly so it’s never really that bad.

- Doing stupid shit together.

“What if we like coughed up a phlegm glob or something?”

- Photobooth pictures of the two of you

- She loves your praise especially when it’s about something other than her looks. She’s used to people thinking she’s pretty so it’s a nice change when you compliment something about her that she’s actually proud of.

“Tell me how good this is”

“It’s great”

- Cue a cute little smile.

- Knowing each other’s locker combos and borrowing each other’s stuff.

- You probably join the yearbook committee with her and the two of you help each other with your work.

- Morbid jokes.

- Getting your designated color for when you’re with the Heathers. They subtly make sure it looks good with Veronicas blue, that’s how you know they support the two of you together.

- Taking care of her whenever she gets drunk/sick at parties. You’ve had to hold her hair as she pukes more than a few times.

- Quick comebacks that never fail to make you laugh.

- Taking naps together after school.

- Gossiping and making fun of people together for shits and giggles.

- Convincing her to hang out with Betty Finn more, she’s an absolute sweetheart to the two of you.

- Helping her accessorize since she apparently can’t do it for shit.

- She’ll say “love you” over the phone but she has a little trouble saying it in person. It makes her a little embarrassed and she ends up getting tongue tied before she can get it out.

- You offhandedly talk about the future, like she’ll make a comment like ‘we should do this next year’ or ‘god I could marry you’ or ‘next year I’m going to take you to do this’ and the ever so common ‘after highschool I’m blowing this town and taking you with me’.

[calligraphist-artemisia]

Just Another Cinderella Story (Chapter 2)

Once upon a time, there was a boy who was left in the care of his uncaring stepmother. Raised in a life of servitude and seeing his stepbrother lavished with praise and given everything he desired, the boy knew there was only one way he would ever be free. If their dreams of marrying into a life of luxury came true, then he would be left with his childhood home and he would finally be able to turn his life around.

Of course, Fate often has other plans in mind.

Also posted on AO3 under the username Kishirokitsune

- - - - -

2. Rosa canina

Pidge woke to sunlight streaming in through the window and the scent of fresh bread warming in the oven. She pushed back the linen blankets, slowly stretching as she swung her legs over the side of the bed before standing. Her borrowed nightgown fluttered around her ankles as she walked to where her riding clothes were waiting, cleaned and folded in a tidy pile. She smiled as she stripped out of the gown and began to redress.

The soft scent of honeysuckle washed over her as she pulled her blouse over her head and tucked it into her breeches. Her green bodice went on over that and laced up in the front in a crisscross pattern. The last thing she had to do was tame her hair, smoothing it down so she could weave a braid to drape over her shoulder. She tied it off with a spare strip of fabric and then headed out to find the source of the delicious smelling bread.

Curtis was in the place where she saw him most, preparing his baskets to take down to the market. All of his pies were carefully wrapped so they would survive the long journey intact.

“Did you sleep well, princess?” he asked.

“I did,” Pidge replied. “Is Shiro in the garden?”

Curtis nodded. “Could you take breakfast to him and let him know I'm leaving?” He gestured to two bowls with equal portions of bread resting on top.

Pidge agreed and wished him luck in town before gathering up the breakfast and heading out into the garden. Birdsong filled the air and a gentle breeze glided over her skin, providing a little relief under the heat of the rapidly rising sun. After a bit of searching, she found Shiro among the roses.

“Curtis sent me with food,” she said as she approached.

Shiro clipped one last bloom and placed it into his basket before setting everything down. He wiped his hands on a cloth he kept specifically for that purpose and then joined her on a stone bench near a trellis of climbing roses. He took the food with a grateful smile and then they both began to eat, letting themselves get wrapped up in comfortable quiet.

Pidge loved it in the gardens. They were so different from the ones back at the palace, which were all uniform and well-kept. Shiro's were well-tended as well but allowed to grow more freely, not quite wild but not hard edges either. It was a place where she could shrug away her duties and responsibilities to just be herself and not Princess Katie.

She slowly ate, content to spend as much time as possible among the thorny plants, but there was only so long she could keep that up before the bowl was empty. “So, I guess you know about the newest royal decree...”

“I may have heard a few whispers about a royal ball. And of the King's wish to find an appropriate suitor for his daughter,” Shiro responded. “How do you feel about all of that?”

Pidge clenched one hand into a fist. “I- I don't know. Angry? Upset? Matt was able to wait until he was eighteen before he made his choice, but I'm only sixteen! I should have two more years just like he did! I mean, I know dad's getting older and he wants to know that I'll be taken care of, you know, even though I can do it myself, but that doesn't make it less frustrating. How am I supposed to pick someone after one night?! I'll be expected to socialize with everyone there, it's not like I'll have time to actually talk to anyone long enough to know that they'll be good for me.”

She appreciated that Shiro let her rant on without interruption, letting loose all of the frustration she felt after weeks of keeping it pent up. And once she was done, Shiro had nothing to say about her lack of ladylike manners or that she should just go along with it all because it was her duty as the princess.

Shiro pulled her into a one-armed hug. “You have always been a smart and capable young woman. I have no doubt that your heart will guide you to the person who is best suited to stand by your side.”

But what about falling in love?

She didn't voice her question out loud. It was a silly desire. A wish not meant for a princess, who was so bound to her duty and her people that matters of the heart were inconsequential. The most she could hope for was a partner who was kind and genuinely wanted to rule by her side. She could wish for friendship.

“Don't suppose you have a spell for that,” Pidge muttered, leaning against him and soaking up the comfort he was offering while she could.

“I don't think you need something like that,” Shiro told her. “But maybe there's something I can do to help.” He moved his arm away as he stood up and gathered his dishes before gesturing to the cottage.

She had meant it as a passing comment; something that didn't need a response and was simply a reflection of her emotional state, but hearing that there was something that could help her was enough to spark her interest. Could he really help?

They cleaned up their dishes first and Shiro asked a round of questions, trying to figure out if she would prefer a perfume or a tea to drink, while also musing to himself which one would be more effective. Pidge listened in fascination. It was rare that she had the chance to listen to his thought process play out and she enjoyed the moment while she could, following him with some amusement to a side room she'd never been allowed in before.

Pidge jumped as a fire flickered to life in the center of the room, unaided by anyone. She watched as Shiro waved his hand toward it and it died down, leaving only the faint glow of orange embers.

“Do you need me to do anything?” she asked.

Shiro shook his head. “Stand there for a moment. I've been thinking about the best way to approach this... How will you wear your hair during the ball?”

Pidge shrugged. It was never really her choice, but she assumed it would be styled into some sort of fancy up-do, so she told him as much. Shiro nodded as though he expected that answer and retrieved a few stones from a nearby shelf before holding them out for her to take a look.

“Pick one.”

Pidge took her time looking at them and spent some time debating between one that was a smooth green and another that was a crystalline dark purple before selecting the purple.

“Excellent!” Shiro exclaimed, putting the others back. He then browsed through his collection of herbs, selecting a few of them as he went. “Caraway, carnation – ah! Celandine! What else? Perhaps fern? No, wait, hawthorn would be best in this case. I'll have to go out and harvest a branch. Ivy may work as well... Yes, celandine and ivy. Something colorful as well. Vervain to match the amethyst? Or lavender? No, something else. Rose.” He paused, eyeing his collection, and then spun to place it all across the table.

Pidge watched, a little bewildered, as Shiro wordlessly sprinted from the room. She could hear a door shut and shifted her feet, unsure if she was meant to follow him. He returned before she made up her mind, clutching a vine that had thorns and pink flowers. He set it with the others on the desk and then gestured her closer.

“This is a trickier bit of magic than I normally perform and if I've chosen everything correctly, it will hold for several years,” Shiro said. “Amethyst is a multi-purpose stone, known for promoting good energies. In this case, it's going to help increase your innate awareness of those around you. Celandine is used to escape imprisonment and in this case, it will work superbly to keep you safe from anyone wishing to use you for your crown. Ivy is protective. And lastly, the dog rose.”

Pidge tilted her head as she looked at the pink flowers, so different from the roses she was familiar with. The center was yellow and the five petals surrounding it were almost heart-shaped.

“Roses are most often attributed to love,” Shiro continued in a softer voice. “But they are also attuned to friendship and have been used for protection. Dog roses are a wild variant. Curtis gave me a seedling as a gift when we first started seeing each other and I've kept it growing ever since. Of course, they are only tools meant to boost the magic. What really matters is the intent behind the spell.”

Shiro arranged everything on the table and then asked Pidge to step back. She couldn't see exactly what he was doing, but she could hear him speaking in a language unknown to her. A soft glow lit up that side of the room, sending out a pulse that rustled her hair and clothing. She could almost feel the energy tingling over her skin.

And then it faded.

When Shiro turned to face her, he held a delicate hairpiece in his hands. Pale purple crystal, so translucent it looked white in some places, formed the vines and leaves of ivy, looping in on itself to provide the base for the rest of the piece. A slightly darker purple jutted out to form the leaves of the celandine, and an unexpected yellow-orange crystal provided bright spots of color for the small flowers. The deepest purple was reserved for the leaves of the dog rose, the thorns tipped in red, and the flowers themselves reflecting their natural coloration of pink petals with a yellow center, all wrapped to one side.

Pidge accepted the hairpiece and found herself surprised by how light it was, despite everything that went into it. “Shiro, this is incredible.”

“Wear this on the night of the ball and you'll gain an awareness of what your suitors want from you. It will be subtle, so trust your instincts,” Shiro advised her.

A tingle of thrill ran through her. It was so much more than she expected. She'd known for most of her life that she was unlikely to truly have a choice in who to marry. The ball was an unexpected surprise; she was still angry about being forced to choose earlier than expected, but it still allowed her a choice, and that was more than she ever dared to ask. With Shiro's magical influence, she could rest more easily.

She cradled the hairpiece gently in her hands, silently vowing to wear it no matter what anyone else said. It could clash in the worst way with the gown they were preparing for her and she would still insist.

“I... I don't know what to say. Shiro, thank you so much!” Pidge said.

Shiro smiled softly and patted her on the shoulder before turning to clean up the few snapped leaves and other debris from the table. Once he finished cleaning, they went back out into the main room of the cottage, where Pidge put the hairpiece with the bottles of soap Shiro gave her the night before.

It was as they sat down at the table that Pidge realized someone was missing. “Did Keith go with Curtis into town?”

“Ah, no. He left last night once you went to bed,” Shiro replied. “I'm glad the two of you got along. He could use a friend.”

A flash of disappointment rushed through her, leaving her feeling hot in its wake. She barely knew Keith. She shouldn't be so bothered that he left without saying goodbye. “He was nice,” Pidge said.

“You two spent a long time outside after dinner.”

Pidge wanted to retort that they wouldn't have if not for the fact that Shiro had all but shoved them out the door and locked it behind them, but it seemed rude to bring it up when she had such a good time talking to Keith. “We were stargazing and telling stories. I thought I knew most of them because of all the stories dad used to tell, but Keith knew some that I've never heard before.”

And one that she knew was from their neighboring empire, Daibazaal. Her dad had picked up a few when he traveled there as a prince and had told them to her and Matt as bedtime stories. Few others would know them well enough to recite them, but for some reason Keith did.

She supposed it wasn't the weirdest thing.

Besides, it was really nice to hear new star-based legends, especially from someone who, despite his clear lack of ease with talking, was really good at telling them. It could have been the fondness in his voice. Maybe the way he smiled when she saved her questions for the end, rather than interrupting.

Pidge wished he'd been there when she woke up so they could talk some more, but she was sure he had his reasons for leaving. “How did you two meet, anyway?”

Shiro's response was just as vague as Keith's answer had been when she asked how long they'd known each other. “He needed my help, so I gave it.” He paused a moment to regard her seriously. “It's not really my story to tell, princess. You'll have to ask him if you want to know all of it.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” Pidge asked. She knew nothing about Keith except his name. There was no hint about where he lived or who his family was. Sure, he knew legends from Daibazaal, but all that really told her was that he likely knew someone who was from there.

“Fate made sure your paths crossed once already. I have little doubt that they'll cross again.” Shiro's answer wasn't much of one, bringing with it new questions and even more confusion.

Pidge didn't try to convince him to tell her more, recognizing when Shiro was determined to be cryptic on purpose. She crossed her arms over the table and changed the subject, which Shiro happily went along with.

For a while they talked about how nice the weather had been and her own luck that a cool breeze had blown in for her journey from the castle, preventing her from baking under the sun. Shiro's mentioned how his gardens were equally as appreciative of lack of blistering heat and then segued into the newest additions he raised from seedlings and rooted cuttings. He was in the middle of describing the young sandalwood he planned on making the star feature to a new section of the garden when the sound of horse hooves clopping down the path caught their attention.

“Curtis shouldn't be back already,” Shiro murmured as he stood and walked to the window. A glance out of the window confirmed that it wasn't his partner returning, but a small patrol of guards decked out in royal regalia. “It appears your escort has arrived. They're a little later than usual.”

Pidge tried not to groan. She had honestly hoped it would take them a little longer after she hid half of their tackle, but she must not have done as good of a job as she thought. Either that or they had to borrow someone else's.

She stood as well, knowing there was no use in trying to hide.

Shiro helped her gathered the jars of soap and her new hairpiece, which they carried outside to where Pidge's horse, Jasmine, was getting looked over by one of the guards, all of her tackle in place. Jasmine calmly bent her head down and yanked up a patch of grass, happily munching the tender greens.

“Princess,” breathed out the Head Guard, relief in her voice. She pulled off her helmet, revealing stark white hair, and rested it against her hip so she could take a better look at Pidge as though she needed the reassurance that she was alright. “You know it's dangerous to travel without one of us.”

“I was just visiting Shiro,” Pidge said, a little petulantly. She knew Allura was only looking out for her but was it really asking too much that she have a little time to herself? The roads were safe so long as she kept her head down and traveled without any symbols signifying her royal blood.

Allura rolled her eyes skyward the way she did whenever she needed to pray to the heavens for patience without vocally expressing it. “Just get on the horse. And we will talk about this during the ride back. You will ride by me. Ina will take the lead. Veronica and Nadia will follow behind.”

The three women nodded in acknowledgment of their orders.

Pidge made sure her gifts were carefully stowed away in her saddlebags before allowing Shiro to help her up onto Jasmine. She carefully gathered up the reins, refusing to look at Allura as she took her time getting settled. She glanced down at Shiro instead. “I know you don't like crowds, but will you attend the ball? I... I could use a friendly face.”

“I will see what I can do, princess,” Shiro said with a bow. He straightened up and nodded to Allura. “Take care on your journey back.”

Allura inclined her head and then slide her helmet back on before giving the order to move out.

- - - - -

“Boy!”

Keith winced as his stepmother's voice cracked through the hall like a whip. Ever since he returned to the estate, all he'd heard was “Boy, do this!” or “Boy, do that!” as his stepmother worked herself up into a frenzy over something. He didn't think she knew about his late-night visiting Shiro, especially with the way he heard her snap at her precious Lotor once or twice, but he decided it was best to not risk another trip out to “gather herbs” in the forest.

He kept his head down and didn't speak unless he was directly asked a question, obediently following every order to the letter. Whenever she called for him, he set aside whatever he was working on and hurried to her side, bowing low and announcing his arrival if she wasn't facing him.

Honerva's golden eyes were sharp as they raked over his form and Keith felt as though she could see into his very mind, picking through his memories in search of some new weakness to use against him. He stood as still as he could, staring somewhere near the floor at her feet.

“My son has suggested that you be allowed to attend the royal ball in three days,” she said derisively.

Keith blinked in surprise, but otherwise showed no sign that he was affected by her words.

A royal ball? The only reason he could imagine Lotor wanting him to attend would be so he could watch Keith make a fool of himself. Either that or he liked the idea of having a servant all to himself. Was that even allowed? It didn't seem proper.

Honerva continued, her tone scathing and harsh. “He believes that since the decree stated that all eligible men in the kingdom are welcome to attend, they are including the serving class. It is utterly ridiculous. You are not fit to gaze upon the marbled halls of the palace, let alone be allowed within the presence of the royal family.” She paused for a moment. “However, I am loath to dismiss one of Lotor's requests. Should you continue to keep up with your chores and find suitable wear for the ball, you may attend with us.”

Keith could help but look up, knowing his shock was evident on his face. He opened his mouth to speak and quickly shut it before any word could escape, knowing that punishment would swiftly follow for speaking out of turn. He bowed instead.

“Go now,” Honerva said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I will have a chore list prepared for you.”

Another bow as he backed out of the room and hurried back to his cleaning.

His mind whirled with confusion as he tried to figure out what Lotor hoped to gain. What was the point? There was always a point when it came to the things Lotor did, especially when he tried to involve Keith. It was likely to be another cruel game where Lotor tried to get his hopes up, only to crush them beneath his heels in the harshest way he could muster.

Keith wouldn't fall for it again. He would complete his chores as quickly and efficiently as he could; to do any less would result in more punishment than simply not being allowed to attend the ball. But that was all he could do.

He tried to ignore that curious part of him that tried to wonder what it would be like if he was allowed to go, but he failed miserably at keeping his thoughts in line. What was the palace like? The princess was said to be a beautiful young lady and even Keith had heard the rumors that she would one day rule as queen, while her brother was set to marry Princess Romelle of Polluxea and rule the lands to the north as king. If they were calling for all eligible men to attend the ball, it was likely they were searching for a suitor for the princess.

A servant was hardly a suitable match.

Keith forced those thoughts from his head and set to work on his chores, focusing solely on scrubbing every last mark from the floors. He was nearly finished when a pair of shoes appeared in front of him and an elaborate cane jabbed at his chin, forcing Keith to look up.

Lotor stood there with a smirk on his face, his clothing as immaculate as ever, and his hair tied back in a tidy ponytail. “You should show a little more gratitude, little brother. Was it not kind of me to tell mother you should be allowed to attend the gala at the palace? Well, under certain conditions, of course. Nothing in life is free, after all.”

Keith breathed out through his nose and fixed his gaze on  the silver buttons on Lotor's waistcoat. “Thank you, sir. I am grateful.”

“As you should be,” Lotor said, lowering his cane and striking it against the floor with a satisfying clicking sound. He stepped away and Keith half-hoped his stepbrother was leaving, but Lotor casually leaned against a nearby wall instead. “I am not such a cruel man that I would deny you the chance to find a new opportunity for work.”

Keith began to scrub the space where Lotor was just standing to cover up his confusion. A new opportunity for work? What was that about? As if his “family” would ever let him go.

“Ah, but you don't know, do you?” Lotor asked in a tone that was likely meant to convey condolence towards his poor, ignorant stepbrother. “In three days, I will be the one to win the hand of Princess Katherine. I am, after all, the obvious choice. Once we are wed, mother and I will move into the palace and we will have no further use for this... hovel.” He sneered in distaste.

Keith scrubbed a little harder.

Lotor tutted at the lack of reaction. “Of course, that leaves us with a tricky question, does it not? Whatever shall we do with you? Obviously, you are too much of an embarrassment to move to the palace with us, even as a servant. You are a blight on the family name. I had considered leaving you here, but it's hardly a property worthy of being owned by royalty, now is it? No. Mother and I have decided that the best thing we can do is tear it all down and offer it as farmland for the peasants to use. Perhaps you could find a job caring for their hogs? You do resemble them on most days.”

There was a dark spot that wouldn't go away no matter how long Keith worked on it. He wondered if anyone would notice if he gave up on it.

Lotor's chuckled darkly as he moved away from the wall. “I would take this opportunity that I have graciously given to you. It is your only chance.”

And with that, he struck out at Keith's bucket with his cane, tipping it over and spilling filthy suds across the floor and onto Keith. Lotor walked away without another word.

Keith did his best to clean up the water with what he had on hand. He tossed his rags onto the puddle, letting them soak up what they could before wringing them out over the bucket. It was a slow process, but if he left it alone to go retrieve something better suited for the task, he would undoubtedly get in trouble for leaving such a mess behind.

He thought about everything that Lotor said as he worked.

For so long, he held onto the thought that maybe they would leave behind him and the estate, allowing him to freely run it while they were away. It wouldn't be true freedom, but it would be better than the way he currently lived. But Lotor just ripped all of that away from him, the same way he planned on tearing down Keith's childhood home.

There had to be something he could do to save it. Maybe if he went to the ball, he would find someone interested in preserving the estate? Would there be such a person who would listen long enough to help him?

He thought of Pidge, who was so clearly of noble birth, and the way she listened with rapt attention to the stories he told that night under the stars. Would she listen again if she knew who he really was? Not even a peasant but a servant, trapped by his own family to work himself to the bone day in and day out.

It was worth the chance.

Keith breathed in, held it, and then slowly breathed out. He would do whatever he needed in order to attend the ball. Hopefully, Pidge would be there.

[plague-of-insomnia]

5 and 16 for an OC of your choice!

Tysm, Chrome 💕!

From this [ask list].

I’m going to answer for Jackson Santoro, the MC of my WIP OW M/M romance novel Love UnSeen.

5. What is a secret they have?

He has a kind of big one but it’s a spoiler!!! It’s revealed fairly early and then explained/developed as the story unfolds so I guess I can put it here, without any explanation 😈 (font to hide it in case people want to skip over it):

Jackson killed his father.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone has done for them?

Jackson is blind, and has been his entire life, so when he realizes the guy he’s crushing on (Dan) is a photographer, he feels like they’ll never be able to relate to one another. But Dan finds plenty of methods of proving Jackson wrong.

One of these is when he brings Jackson to the darkroom with him and asks him to help him develop some film, explaining the entire process, and giving Jackson the ability to touch. The experience is surprisingly erotic but also sends the powerful message that Dan wants Jackson to know this essential part of who he is, and is willing to do what he can to make the seemingly incomprehensible understandable despite Jackson’s limited vision.

This is actually the last full scene of the newer draft I have, and one of my favorites (condensed here for tumblr):

[[MORE]]

After letting Jackson cautiously explore the second room, Dan asked, “Have you ever held a roll of film before?”

“No.”

“Here,” Dan said as he pressed something small into Jackson’s hand. “It’s one I use for demonstration so you don’t need to worry about ruining it.”

Jackson nodded absently as he explored the object, cradling it in the palm of one hand while the fingers of the other explored. It was small, shorter than Jackson’s thumb and even narrower in width, rounded, with an lip that stuck out on one side of the cylinder and a smaller tube that jutted out on top and spun when Jackson turned it. With his nails he could feel a ridge at the top and bottom, almost like a tin can, but more prominent. It wasn’t like anything he’d felt before, and he was curious how the developing process worked.

Jackson stiffened as he suddenly felt Dan’s warmth from behind him, inhaled sharply when the larger man’s arms wrapped around him and draped over Jackson’s hand, guiding his fingers along that seam.

“You feel that? The canister has a top and bottom that you can pry off. The top is the part with the tube that juts up and the bottom is flat, but you can feel the hollow center right here.”

Dan continued, “This one’s been opened and re-closed several times for my classes, so you could probably do it with your bare hand, but normally we use a bottle opener to pry the lid off, just like you would a bottle top.” Dan pressed something else into Jackson’s other hand, again using his fingers to help guide Jackson as to where he needed to align the opener.

Once it was in place, Jackson twisted his wrist and he felt and heard the top pop and go flying, clattering on the floor nearby. “Whoops. Sorry.”

Dan was chuckling as he moved away, presumably to retrieve it. He took the opener back. “Now do you feel that? Inside? Normally, this would be looped around the spool and threaded through this part here,” Dan said, again standing behind Jackson and guiding his fingers to the appropriate areas in turn. Dan’s touch was unlike any Jackson had experienced before. He wasn’t entirely sure he could articulate how amazing he felt as Dan’s long fingers glid over Jackson’s skin, sliding along knuckles and stopping to massage the space between the blind man’s right thumb and wrist for only a moment before moving on. Erotic and yet so much more, leaving Jackson dizzy and struggling to focus.

This negative—which felt slick and plasticky and foreign and far longer than he expected—had simply been stuffed loosely into the can, but with Dan’s direction Jackson could understand the way it must normally be, wound around that spool and threaded through that strange lip. The negative was narrower on the end, perhaps to make insertion easier. Damn, he really didn’t need to be thinking of anything inserting anywhere while Dan was touching him like this, the larger man’s chest brushing against Jackson’s back with each breath. It was heavenly and serenity and security, and part of Jackson wanted to drop the roll of film in his hand and grab Dan’s arms to hold them tight around his body.

“When you load your camera, this tab here,” Dan explained indicating the narrow portion Jackson had just been wondering about, “threads into place so the negative can be pulled through frame by frame. We also use that to load it on the spool for the developer canister, which is the next step I’ll walk you through.”

Jackson clung to Dan’s wrist to keep him from moving. “Thank you. For this.”

Dan’s arms shifted so he was hugging the smaller man, just as Jackson had been imagining only moments earlier, their heads leaned against each other. “Eh. I just need the free labor. I’m developing four rolls of film today and processing negatives is a pain.” But Jackson could tell Dan was joking, happiness evident in his voice. His nose brushed along Jackson’s ear. A second later, Jackson startled when he felt Dan blow gently on his neck, though the larger man kept a firm hold to prevent Jackson from losing his balance. Before Jackson could speak, Dan kissed the side of Jackson’s throat, working his way down along the blind man’s neck toward his collarbone. “I want to mark you here,” Dan purred, his voice lower than normal, raspier, and the tone and the meaning of the words sent a jolt straight to Jackson’s cock. Especially when Dan laved the skin, a long, warm, sensual lick.

“Don’t you dare,” Jackson struggled to say, reaching back as if to push Dan away, even though truthfully that was the last thing he wanted. “Class starts for me soon. Last thing I need is a giant hickey everyone will be staring at throughout my entire lecture.”

Dan snickered, kissed the spot, nipped at it teasingly, but backed off. “If I start things, I’ll never stop, and we have work to do. I’ll teach you how to insert the extracted negatives into the developer canister and then I’ll give you a couple rolls of film to do it for real.”

“Are you sure you want me to do this? If I mess up—”

Dan kissed Jackson’s temple. “You won’t. You can see light, right? So you’ll be able to tell if the door is closed properly. Then it’s simply a matter of getting the film out like we just did and loading it into the developer. Just triple-check the lid is shut properly—you’ll be able to feel it and hear it, and I’ll show you—and then you step out. That’s it.”

“You can relax. I trust you.”

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 35

Warnings: none

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @alievans007​, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @ocfairygodmother​

“Did you consider it? Even for a split second?”

He can’t get those words out of his head; playing on a continuous loop. Eating away at him and burrowing into every inch of his already fractured and troubled mind. It’s the insinuation behind them that hurts more than anything; the fact she’d even think that he’d be capable of something like that, as if it somehow made a difference that they’d only known one another for five days.  She wasn’t a stranger; they’d been sharing a bed, exploring each other's bodies and both enjoying and pleasing one another as much as possible. They’d been each other’s confessionals as well; sharing those deep, dark and -and sometimes shameful- secrets that they’d kept buried for years and never told a single living soul. It was the first time he’d felt THAT comfortable with someone; able to easily and effortlessly let his guard down and show her the different sides to him. Not just the hardened mercenary covered in scars and tattoos; the one with a drinking problem and an addiction to pain meds, weighed down by a lifetime of baggage.  He’d found himself smiling and laughing again; genuine, not the forced smiles and laugh that he’d perfect over the past thirty-five years of his life.

By the middle of the third day he’d realize that maybe it was more than just two lonely and broken people drawn to each other through similar painful circumstances and a job they used as an escape from their shitty realities. He liked having her around. Not just in those early morning hours when he’d wake up to that soft, warm body next to him in bed. But when he’d look at her from across the room as she sat at the table by the window; both feet up on her seat and knees tucked tightly to her chest, headphones on and eyes narrowed in concentration as she worked on her laptop. Or when he’d come back to the room after grabbing food at the market and she’d greet him with that brilliant, beautiful smile that made her eyes sparkle. He just liked her being there; hearing her voice and seeing her face and breathing in the soft, sweet scent that lingered in her hair. Most importantly, he didn’t feel judged; she didn’t look at him with disgust or pity. She understood his job and the brutality and violence that came with it; she knew what he was capable of and the lives he’s taken over the years.   None of that had bothered her. She ‘got it’. In a way no one else ever had.  

It had been his side to see if there was more to it...more to THEM. Suddenly feeling as if there was actually something to forward to after Dhaka; something...someone...who could keep him going even during the most difficult and darkest of days. Sure, the sex was good. It was incredible, in fact. But to find someone that understood your life and didn’t hold it against you or judge you for your past mistakes and horrible decisions? That was even better. They’d take some of the money from the Dhaka job and travel; wherever they felt like going or wherever they just ended up. And she’d spent time in Australia; willing to travel to The Kimberley and stay in that rundown little shack. And he’d head to Colorado; looking forward to seeing the mountains and just spending time with her.  Seeing just...if anything...actually existed between them.  

Only things hadn’t gone according to plan. Everything went to shit, and their entire existences changed. The path becoming much more difficult to tread than either of them could have possibly imagined.

She’d always trusted him. Right from the start. Without question or reservation.  And she’d always told him that he made her feel safe. Protected. During both those early days and the seven years that followed. She’d confused that she’d never felt that way before; not even with the other men that had been in her life. Always relying on herself; her own wits and her own skills and her fierce independence.   She hadn’t realized how much she’d actually wanted that; the feeling of security and, being able to trust someone to that extent, going to bed at night not only knowing that someone would do anything to protect her, but that they were more than capable of doing it. That steadfast faith and confidence in him sometimes the only things that kept him going; knowing that she trusted him and loved him THAT much. Even on the days when he hated himself and wondered if she -and even his kids when they came along- would be much better off without him and his bullshit dragging them down.   She would tell him how ridiculous it was to think that way. That she couldn’t imagine her life without him. That she didn’t just want him there, she NEEDED him there. No matter how hard he made things on her, no matter how difficult he could be to love.  It was the one constant that kept him alive sometimes; knowing that -beyond a shadow of a doubt- she truly felt that way.  

So to hear her ask that -if he’d ever considered giving her up to Asif- had torn him apart inside. He can’t remember anything hurting that much; cutting straight to his core. No physical pain -not even the wounds he’d sustained in Dhaka- inflicting that much damage and agony. It killed him inside; wondering if he’d ever given her a reason to think he’d do something like that. That she doubted he would have done anything -even back then- to keep her safe. Alive. There’d never been a moment where it had seemed like a good idea, her life in exchange for his freedom. For money. And it makes him physical ill knowing she’d ever looked at him that way. That maybe she STILL does.

He forces himself to get his shit together; head down and sunglasses over his as he takes the path to the back of the kids’ school. Leaves and twigs and gravel snapping and popping beneath the soles of his flip flops. It’s not often that they pick the kids up; normally the last Friday of the month was the usual. A routine that they’d gotten into; grabbing the three oldest and driving into one of the other towns on the coast and spending time on their beaches and then going out to dinner. Returning after long after sunset and having to carry exhausted yet happy children into the house and upstairs to bed. Even in the later stages of the pregnancy with Addie they’d tried to hold onto that habit; family time away from the house and the chaos that sometimes ran amok within those four walls. Little moments and memories that their kids would hopefully hold onto it and look back on forty years down the road.  

Going home had been the smartest thing he’d ever done. Not just for himself, but for them. Things calmer and less stressful. The arguing less frequent and much less intense. Before if had been constant; lingering frustration and hostility that lingered under the surface and would build up to the point of exploding. Since leaving Colorado things have improved. Tremendously.  

Until she’d asked if he’d ever give her up a drug lord, that is.

****

The other parents are too chatty. Too nosy. The moms don’t hide the fact they’re checking him out; huddling together in little groups, nudging each other with their elbows, the sly little smiles that tug at the corners of their mouths, the whispers that follow. It’s flattering yet annoying as hell at the same time. The dads are another story; they stare and talk but try and hide it. The women will actually approach. The men will stay their distance. They don’t see the muscles and the tattoos and the scars the same way the ladies too; they see them as intimidating. Threatening, even.  A guy with six inches and sixty pounds -if not more- on them, wandering into their ‘territory’ and taking all the attention away. He’s pretty sure his ‘resting asshole face’ -as Esme calls it- doesn’t help; he doesn’t want to be bothered and he doesn’t try to hide the fact. Maybe the guys see it as arrogance; him appearing overly confident and all the women taking notice.  Suddenly they’re interested in the dad in the jeans and the ratty t-shirt and not on the ones with starchy golf shirts and the ironed pleats in their khakis. He sticks out like a sore thumb and likes it that way. He’s somewhat of a mystery to them; showing up out of the blue six months old with those haunted eyes and the stern face and all the battle wounds that bear evidence of a story to tell. One they’ll never be privy to but will always speculate about.

He plays it for all it’s worth. In his own subtle way. The longer he gives off the intimidating vibe, the longer people stay away from him. He’s not there to make friends. He has enough of those. He prefers his privacy; not allowing anyone outside of his immediate family -and a trusted few- past the walls he’s built up. It’s all way too fucking complicated; his past, what he did for a living, what he’s getting back into. And letting people in means letting them know ALL of that. And that’s something he wants to avoid. At all costs.

“Your Tyler’s dad.”

At first it doesn’t even register that someone is actually speaking to him. Lost in his own little world as she leans against the brick wall the door the kids will come out; one hand shoved in his pocket, the older holding his phone. Attention focused solely on the text messages that his wife has sent since he left the house. Apologetic. Remorseful. The regret obvious in every word she’s typed. He’s not angry; not at her. It’s hurt. Genuine hurt that sits in the pit of his stomach and makes his chest ache. Maybe Gaspar HAD been right; maybe she is his ultimate weakness.  And he sends his own text back. Telling her that he loves her and they’ll talk later. TALK. Not fight. Then turns his attention to the man now standing beside him. A few inches shorter; slim, with tousled and unruly salt and pepper hair and dark skin. Aboriginal; he can see the dark and intricate tribal tattoos that travel up both arms and stop at the sides of his neck.

Tyler grins. “Before I lay claim to him, it depends what he’s done.”

“He’s friends with my boy. Ezekiel. He’s one of the few kids that are. He’s got some issues. My boy. He’s not like everyone else. And the people around here...between you and me...they don’t like anyone that looks different. Or acts different. They’re…”

“Judgmental pricks?” Tyler finishes for him.  

The other man laughs. “I’m glad one of us has the stones to say it out loud. “

“My wife always tells me I’m imagining it. That it’s all in my head.”

“Mine says the same. Now I can go home and tell her that I’m not making it up and someone else feels the same way. Your boy, he’s a good kid. He’s got a huge heart inside of him.  I’ve heard the stories. The way other parents talk. Saying he’s a troublemaker and has behavior issues and all that shit.  He’s just a kid, you know? He’s got a lot of feelings and emotions going in there. He always sticks up for my boy. Always. Never backs down no matter how big the other kids are or how many of them come at him.”

“He’s fearless. And stubborn as hell.”

“Well, I for one appreciate it. Kids like mine...like my Zeke...they have a hard enough life without assholes making it worse. So when kids like yours come around, parents like me take notice. And we wish there were more like him and parents who would raise them like you and your wife are. World would be a better place for Zeke if kids were brought up like that. I just wanted to say thanks. For raising such a good kid.”

Tyler doesn’t know what to say. He’s never been good at accepting compliments; ‘thank you’ always seems so self-serving and fake.  And it’s better to say nothing than come across as either socially awkward or a complete prick.  So he gives an appreciative smile instead; and the other dad returns the gesture with a smile of his own and a friendly pat on the shoulder before wandering off the stand on his own. He sees the way the other parents look at the man; the color of his skin and the wild hair and the tribal tattoos. Australia has a long and sordid history of treating their aboriginals like shit, and even in this day and age the ignorance and racism continue. And he shoves his phone into his pocket and heads over, sidling up beside the other dad, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What grade is your kid in?” he asks. It sounds lame, but you have to start somewhere.

“He’s in special education. He has cerebral palsy. From a stroke at birth. He can speak, but he’s in a chair permanently. Has seizures and some other problems.”

“That’s gotta be rough.”  He doesn’t want to say ‘sorry’; that will come across as pity.  Give the impression that he thinks something is wrong and shameful with having a kid with issues. It is what it is. And every child, with disabilities or not, deserves respect. Not pity. At least in his eyes.

“Thanks for not saying ‘I’m sorry’. I hate when people say that. What’s there to be sorry for? He’s a beautiful kid. He’s happy. He loves and is loved. I wish we could all see the world through his eyes. He doesn’t judge or hate.  He just loves. You have other kids, yeah?”

“Four other ones. Two boys, two girls. Millie’s the oldest. She’s going to be six in a week and a bit. Addie’s the baby; not even a month yet. The one before her, Declan, the doctors thought maybe there was something going on with him. They saw some things when my wife was pregnant with him; at the twenty-week ultrasound. Chromosome issues.”

“Downs?”

Tyler nods. “They wanted us to let them do more testing. To find out for sure. So we could ‘discuss the options’. They actually said that. There were no other options. Not to us. We didn’t need to know. We were going to have him regardless. Didn’t matter one way or the other. It was our kid.”

“And everything came out okay?”

“Well, he’s a ginger and can be a little asshole sometimes, but yeah…” he grins. “...it turned out to be nothing. Like I said, we wouldn’t have cared. It’s our kid, right? Obviously they’re meant to be here. Regardless if there’s something going on or not.”

“Shame some people don’t think like we do. They see kids like them as a burden. Say they’re never going to be ‘contributing members of society’.”

“Yeah, well people like that can go fuck themselves.”

The other man laughs, then holds out a hand. “I’m Anatjari. Everyone just calls me Andy.”

“Tyler,” he shakes the hand that’s offered. “Anatjari. That’s from Pintupi, right?”

“Not many people know that.”

“A mate of mine, his mum comes from the tribe. He speaks a little bit of it. Enough to get by, I guess. Your wife aboriginal too?”

“As white as the driven snot.” Andy laughs. “She was an exchange teacher. From New York City. We met and she never went back. Your wife from here?”

“Colorado.”

“From the mountains and the snow to this? That’s culture shock. How’d a guy from here meet a girl from there?”

“Work. We got contracted out to the same job.”

“Zeke says your boy told him that you used to fight bad people.”

Tyler gives a small laugh. “I guess that’s kind of true. The field I was in, sometimes I HAD to do that. I’d get sent places to sort out other peoples’ messes. Private security, I guess you could call it.  

“Well you’re definitely made for that kind of shit. Doesn’t it bother you? That?” Andy nods in the direction of the group of moms huddled together, staring and whispering.

“A little. They’re harmless though. My wife would kill them if they ever tried anything. She’s small but she’s tough. Definitely puts the fear of God into me sometimes. As much as it embarrasses me to admit that.”

“Your secret is safe with me. It’s the same at my house. You know…” he scuffs the toe of his runner against the concrete. “...you didn’t have to do this. Come over and talk to me. I’m used to being the black sheep.”

“I know. And I didn’t do it because I felt I needed to.  I wanted to. I don’t make friends easily either. The wife says I give off bad vibe. That I scare people.  Something about the look on my face and my size. Makes me intimidating, apparently.

“I don’t know,” Andy shrugs. “You seem pretty harmless to me.”

Tyler chuckles. “I think that’s the first time anyone’s ever called me that.”

He’s been called many things over the years. Brutal. Violent.  Aggressive. Even merciless and savage.

But never THAT.

****

“Daddy!” Millie is the first to greet him, sandals already in her hands as she races toward him in her bare feet; ponytail swinging wildly from side to side. And he scoops her up as she throws herself at his legs, pressing a kiss to her cheek and then settling them on his hip. “I missed you!”

“I was only gone one day.”

“Doesn’t matter. I still missed you. Look…” she gives a wide smile and points to the gap in her bottom teeth. “It finally fell out! At lunch. I went to eat my apple and it just popped out!”

“Didn’t swallow it, did you? Don’t want a whole bunch of teeth growing in your tummy.”

“That’s not what would happen!” she says, and then giggles when he tickles her stomach. “I put it in my pocket. So I can put it under my pillow tonight.  I was worried you wouldn’t be there. That maybe you had to stay away longer.”

“I said I’d be here and I’m here. Have a good day? Punch anyone in the face?”

“Nope.  No one tried to dull my sparkle today.  It was an awesome day,” she enthuses, as he sets her on the ground. “Hi Zeke’s daddy,” she chirps to the man standing beside him.  

“You already know each other?” Tyler asks.

“Everyone knows Zeke’s daddy. He’s awesome. He comes sometimes and teaches us art and tells us really cool stories about his people. And Zeke is awesome too. He’s so cute and so sweet and gives the best hugs.”

Andy gives a sheepish smile. “I think he might have a bit of a crush on her.”

“He’s so cute!” Millie gushes. “He’s coming to my birthday party. He loves to swim, right Zeke’s daddy?”

“He does,” Andy confirms. “And he’s very excited. He’s never been invited to a birthday party before.”

“Other kids are such dicks,” she declares. “Mommy and daddy said that we’re all the same and we should love each other no matter what we look like or what we can or can’t do. That’s the stuff that makes us different and unique and not boring. No one wants to be boring.”

“You are definitely NOT boring,” Tyler tells her, as he fixes her hair clips and tightens her ponytail.  “No one can ever say that about you, that’s for sure.”

“That’s Zeke right there!” She excitedly announces, and points to where her brothers are coming across the school yard; one on either side of their friend as he’s being pushed in his wheelchair by a one on one aide.  

At first it makes Tyler feel sad; a hint of pity that nearly brings tears to his eyes and a lump to his throat. Pissed off at a fucked up world that would do something like that to an innocent kid. But he notices the brilliant smile and the look of pure adoration and love in his eyes as he looks at one boy, and then the other.  The way the twins hold his hands and laugh and talk to him as if he’s just like any other kid on the playground.  

“Daddy!” Tanner breaks away first, tossing himself into his father’s waiting arms. “You’re here! I know you’d be here. I missed you!”

“I missed you too, mate.” He lays a hand on the side of Tanner’s head and presses a kiss to his temple. “I said I’d be here. I wasn’t going to let you guys down. I’ll never do that. Not anymore.”

“Hi daddy!” TJ greets. “This is Zeke. He’s my best friend. Other than Tanner. Zeke, this is my dad. Remember how I told you that used to beat up bad guys? He’s crazy big and crazy strong but I promise he’s not mean. Not unless you’re a bad guy. And you are definitely not a bad guy.”

Tyler gives an uncomfortable laugh. “Okay, no one needs to hear that. About me beating up bad guys. You ready to go? We gotta go and get something for mommy. A surprise.”

Millie frowns. “Did you do something wrong?”

“I can’t buy your mom something just because? Maybe I just love and want to buy her things. Ever thought of that?”

His daughter scoffs. “That’s not how you work.”

“Well maybe I’m changing how I work. Don’t be such a smart ass.”

“You helped make me. I’m half you. Where do you think I get it from? Blame yourself.”

Tyler smirks, then turns to Andy. “Almost six going on sixteen. I’m dreading actual teenage years with this one. You guys wanna come with? We’re just going into town. Grab some ice cream. You’re more than welcome to tag along.”

“Yes! Please?! Millie grabs a hold of the other man’s arm. “Please Zeke’s daddy? It’ll be fun. And Zeke will love hanging out with us outside of school.”

“I warn you,” Tyler says, as he slings their three backpacks over his shoulders. “They’re a little feral. I blame my wife. Just don’t tell her I said that. She has a different take on who made them that way.”

“Ice cream sounds good,” he enthuses. “Be nice to have another dad to talk to. One that isn’t...I don't know…”

“A total prick?”

“That’s pretty much what I had in mind.”

“Wait until you get to know me, mate. I’m not as harmless as I seem.”

****

“Daddy made a friend!”  Millie announces two hours later, as she bursts onto the back patio, already clad in one of her many bathing suits and a Strawberry Shortcake towel hanging off her head.   And she stands beside the chair her mother sides on as she nurses the baby, pressing a kiss to Esme’s lips in greeting.

“A friend, huh?” She gives Tyler a wink as he lingers in the doorway, waiting for the twins to rush past him before stepping outside. And they each give her a kiss before rushing off with their sister; racing towards where Ovi sits with Declan in the surf.  “An imaginary one or…?”

He smirks. “Now I know where your daughter gets being a smart ass from.”

“It’s definitely not from me,” she says, and he stands behind her chair, giving the nape of her neck a gentle squeeze before dropping a kiss on the top of her head. “So real? Fake? Who’s this friend?”

“A real one. And he’s not a friend. Just some guy that started talking to me while I was waiting for the kids.”

“You know it’s okay to have friends, right? Not everyone is out to get you, Tyler. Don’t you think it would be nice to have someone to talk to you?”

“I have you talk to you.”

“Who do you talk to when you’re pissed off and you need to vent about me?”

“Myself mainly,” he says, grimacing as he lowers himself into the chair across from her.

“Because THAT’S totally healthy.”

“You don’t piss me off enough to make me bitch to other people about you.”

She arches a brow. “Not even today?”

“We’re not going to talk about this right now, are we? I really do not want to talk about this.”

“When is there a better time?”

“I dunno. When the kids go to bed.  When we actually can pay attention to what the other one is saying. And I don’t want to fight. I’m just putting that out there now. We’re supposed to be working on getting past shit like that; fighting all the time. And I thought we were doing pretty good.”

“We have been.  Things have a lot better since we moved here. In New Zealand, for that matter. We’re more relaxed and less stressed and we don’t have people sticking their noses in our business all the time. One fight is not the end of the world. We used to fight about everything. Even stupid, small shit.”

“Yeah…” he stretches his right leg out, attempting to ignore the pain in the knees as he places his foot in her lap. “...I don’t miss those days.”

“I don’t know. The making up was always fun,” she teases, and he grins.   “I think Declan’s here because of a fight, actually. Millie might be too, but we can’t say for sure which of the five days it happened on.   If it was the first day…”

“That wasn’t a fight.”

“Bullshit it wasn’t.”

“That was you not listening to a goddamn word I say and doing what you want.”

“Okay for the record, I didn’t listen because I thought your rules your stupid and no man was going to tell me what to do no matter how hot he was. Second, that was a fight. You were doing all the yelling, but that was definitely a fight.”

“You and I remember that day very differently.”

“I think you have selective memory. Because you were pissed, and you were losing your shit. Which makes it a fight.”

“Isn’t a fight two sided?”  

“You grabbed me by the throat.”

“You liked it.”

She smirks. “Okay, I’ll give you that. But that was definitely a fight and it’s very likely that that’s when Millie was conceived. And if it was, then your swimmers are very lucky and very determined. That’s all I’m going to say.”

“I am telling you. Super sperm. I know you don’t believe me, but I think that’s proof right there. First day, first time. Boom. Got shit done.”

“You are so romantic,” she chides.

“There was nothing romantic about those five days.”

“No,” she laughs. “There wasn’t. But it was hot though. Crazy hot.”

He nods in agreement, then leans his head back against his chair; eyes closed, hands clasped and resting on his stomach.

“I didn’t mean it,” she says, as moves Addie up onto her chest, one hand on the back of her head, the other rubbing her back. “I especially I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I wasn’t trying to make it sound like you would do something like that. I...”

“Stop, okay? Not right now. Later.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just...”  

“Baby...” he cracks his eyes open and gives her a tight-lipped smile. “...not now, okay? Please.”

“Okay,” she agrees with a sigh, and then looks out towards the water; watching as the three oldest kids take turns on who gets to be the one Ovi hurls into the water.  “Chloe left,” she announces.

“What? When?”

“This morning. I guess they got into a big fight last night. About the job. She’s mad that he cut ties with Nik. I guess she was getting really tight with her.”

“Oh, for fuck sakes. That’s what pissed her off? How old is she again?”

“I told her that Nik is not the person you want to get close to. That she’ll fuck you over the first chance she gets. She spent seven years trying to do it to me. Ovi tried explaining how things are better this way; you running the business and him working for you. I don’t think she realizes just what that world is like. She’s got some romanticized view of it. Like it’s some exciting, amazing life where the good guys always win and survive. I told her that I’ve seen a lot of good people die. G, Saju. Just for starters.”

Tyler nods in agreement.

“And you. Well, almost you.”

“I wasn’t a good person. Not then. I don’t even know if I am now.”

She frowns. “Don’t do that, okay? You’re not the horrible person you think you are. You made some shitty decision and you had to do some bad things. To BAD people. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t deserve to be.”

“I’m here because YOU thought I deserved to be”

“I didn’t think it. I knew it.  You didn’t die that day because you weren’t meant to die.  If you were supposed to be dead, you would be. And you can’t convince me otherwise.”

“Well for what it’s worth, I’m glad you did what you had to do to save me. Even though I know it fucked you up.”

“Seeing you like that is what fucked me up. Not doing what I did. And can we not talk about this?” Tears well in her eyes. “I hate talking about this. About Dhaka. Because it brings it all back and I just can’t deal with that. I thought by now I’d be over it and I could talk about it and think about it. But I can’t. I just can’t.”

Pushing his chair away from the table, he stands; limping as he walks around to where she sits, slightly wincing as he crouches down alongside of her. “Look at me...” he gently orders, one hand on her knees, the other reaching up and settling on the back of her neck. “...look at me.”

She obliges.

“I am right here.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Because sometimes I’m not so sure. It’s like we’re right back there. Going through everything all over again. Like we never left.”

“I’m just having a hard time,” she admits. “Things are happening so fast and with the business. I didn’t expect things to happen THIS quickly. I thought we had some time to breathe before you actually got back into it. At least a couples. A month, even. It’s been two days.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m not even starting anything until after Millie’s birthday. We talked about this. You were okay with it.”

“I AM okay with it. I’m the one who told you to go back. I just didn’t think it would happen so fast. I mean Addie’s not even a month old. She’s still tiny. She’s still new. And now I’ve got crates and bags of weapons and ammo and all kinds of other shit in my garage. And there’s people calling all the time wanting you help them right away.”

“Baby...calm down...I’m not going anywhere for at least a couple of weeks. I told you that.”

“I’m just worried. And I’m scared. I’ve got a new baby and four other kids, and I don’t want to do this alone. I CAN’T do this alone.”

“Esme, everything’s going to be okay. This isn't like all the other times when I went back. Everything’s different now. You don’t need to worry so much. It’s all different. I’m different.”

“I just want you to be careful. I just want you to be safe and come home and...”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he stresses.  “Not for a while. Maybe not ever.” He pushes his fingers through her hair and places his lips against her forehead. “It’s going be okay. There’s nothing for you to worry about, I promise. Alright? Just calm down. Just calm down and trust me.”

“I do. You know I do. It’s other people I don’t trust.”

“I’ve got a lot of good people coming on board. Believe me when I say you can trust them. And you know, something really good happened today. At the school.”

“With your new friend?”

“If that’s what you want to call him.  He was talking to me about our kid. TJ. How he always sticks up for his boy. His little guy’s in a wheelchair and has some issues and...”

“You met Andy. Zeke’s dad.”

“How do you know...”

“Him and his wife used to volunteer at the school on the days I did. That guy is crazy talented. You should see his art. He’s known all over the world, apparently. All aboriginal stuff. Did you meet Zeke too?”

Tyler nods.

“He’s the cutest little guy. And he gives the best hugs.”

“Your daughter said the same thing. Kid must be a player. What’s up with him hugging all the women in my life?”

“It makes me realize how lucky we are,” she says. “We have five beautiful, amazing, healthy kids. And I know it wouldn’t have a difference if there’d been something wrong with Declan. It didn’t matter to you. And I wouldn’t have wanted to go through that with anyone else. But we’re lucky. So lucky.”

“Yeah, we are. And we must be something right if TJ is like that. It means we haven’t fucked them up as bad I thought. At least not yet.”

“You do a pretty good job. I’ll give you that.”

“We do a good job,” he corrects. “I didn’t make those kids alone. And last time I checked, I didn’t give birth to them, so...”

“Makes the thought of a sixth one not seem so daunting after all.”

He grins. “I thought we weren’t going to talk about that so soon.”

“I’m just putting it out there. We’ll see how we feel six months from now.”

“I was going to give it a year, but okay...”

She leans forward and presses a kiss to his lips. “I love you and I’m sorry for what I said. I know you said not to talk about it right now, but I can’t help it. I never meant it that way and I don’t even know why I asked you that in the first place.  I just...”

“It’s okay,” he assures her, kissing her temple before drawing her head down to his shoulder.  

“It’s not okay. That was shitty thing to ask you. I don’t know why I did. Because I don’t think that way about you. I never have. I was just shocked, I guess. I wasn’t expecting you tell me that. I mean, I’m glad you did because you shouldn’t have held onto that for so long and...”

“Baby...” he rubs her back comfortingly. “...you’re rambling. Take it easy.”

“I’m just so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that.”

“I know.”

“I’m sure I’m the crappiest wife on the planet.”

“You’re far from it. Trust me.”

She pulls away to look at him, smiling through the tears. “You’re so biased.”

“Maybe a bit. But that doesn’t make it less true. And I didn’t tell you because I wanted to protect you. I didn’t think you need to know about it. What good is going to do? Now that you heard all that. Now that you know what Asif wanted and what he was going to do. Nothing good is going to come of it.”

“I just deal with it, I guess. Same way I’ve been dealing Dhaka shit for seven years.”

“Not very well?”

She frowns.

“I’m just saying.”

“Tell me this is going to go away. That one day I’m going to think about it and talk about it without feeling like I’m going crazy. That one day I’m going to wake up and it won’t bother me anymore.”

“You will. One day.”

“I hope so. Because I don’t know how much more of it I can take.  How much longer I  can go with it bothering me like this.”

“It’s going to be alright,” Tyler promises, then presses a kiss to her forehead and once more draws her head down against him. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

It sounds good. Even to his own ears. But he can’t stop that feeling of dread that forms in the pit of his stomach. There are so many unknowns; answers he needs but can’t seem to find. No matter how hard he tries.

[sonicringbond]

Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey - Scene 24

And it’s finally Saturday! That means we have a new update for the story. A little more action in this scene than some of the prior ones, and also a bit more story seeding. Somewhere buried deep in the background I do have an actual plot and this scene will hint at it yet a little bit more. But instead of me talk about it, enjoy for yourself...

    ~I was right about the mountains being perfect for running. Hidden crags and land bridges where Rings gathered and waited to be collected were everywhere. Places where I could run loop-de-loops if I so desired and winding caves both small and massive. Of course, with Draw on my back I couldn’t enjoy it at all. It’s almost been that way the whole time out here.

    ~But I can’t complain.

    ~Like me, someone else out here is having it hard so I just need to get to them as fast as I can. Ooh~! It’d be so much easier if I was running on my own, or not. Having Draw hold a Ring in front of me so I can dowse their location is a big help while running at these speeds.~

    “I-I-I don-don’t see, h-how th-this i-is h-helping!” Draw fought to say as Rosy’s incredible speeds left him bobbing and desperately trying not to be scratched up by Rosy’s spines. Holding the Ring he could not even hold on tightly for dear life. As he had no real perspective of how fast Rosy could get, it would have shocked him that she was not even running at half of the top speed she could manage without having to fight her clumsiness.

    “Well, I got the call for help after giving my cards a Ring so it makes sense to use a Ring to find them,” Rosy tried to explain, but she was skipping across falling stalactites in one particular cave before bursting back out on the mountain side meadows and could not dedicate more time to Draw than that.

    How far they ran was difficult to tell as Rosy’s path was anything but straight, and several clouds had obscured their surroundings on more than one occasion. One far larger cloudbank became as a fog, crackling with electricity and Draw could feel his hair stand on end. The phenomenon would have simply excited Rosy instead if she were not in such a hurry, but traveling well below the speed of sound her ears picked up another reason to be wary.

    “Now what?” Draw asked as Rosy came to a stop and let him off her back. Unsteadily trying to find his footing he offered Rosy no resistance as she took the Ring he held in both of her hands.

    “Quiet please Draw,” Rosy asked as she closed her eyes and focused on the Ring and her surroundings.

    Doing as she said, Draw also imitated her twitching ears and turned his to his fog hidden surroundings. Beyond the crackling of electricity tearing through the air, he could hear machinery somewhere not far off.

    “I wonder what type of machines those are?” Draw queried as he turned in the direction he believed they were coming from. “They don’t sound very large…”

    “Let’s go find out,” Rosy suggested with a smile as she let the Ring vanish into her body. “Whoever needs our help should be over that way too. Maybe they just got stuck and need a hand.”

    “Or worse since they’re about to meet you,” Draw joked and earned a pout from Rosy.

    “Ooh~! You really are so mean sometimes Draw!”

    ~I know he didn’t mean any harm by it. He was just having a little fun. But still.

    ~Regardless we did not linger in the fog and with Draw on my back again we hurried ahead to see what awaited us. It was not what I was expecting, but it wasn’t far off either. Machines the size of what we were hearing, I had too many encounters with mean ones before.~

    Bursting out of a cloud bank Rosy and Draw were afforded view of another beautiful mountain meadow on the side of a mountain. But the bleating of frightened sheep and the clanging of steam powered machinery made for a cacophonic discrepancy to the scene’s beauty.

    “What are those!”

    Pointing as best he could, Draw attempted to bring Rosy’s eyes to the source of the mechanical ruckus and fear of the sheep. Seeing a plethora of two-legged and four-legged brass machines that resembled clockwork imitations of the stone golems throughout the land, Rosy whined out her response.

    “Robots! Why are there robots here!”

    “Robots? Draw asked and looked at Rosy curiously. “You mean like automata?”

    “But they look like golems too~! So maybe they’re robo-golems!”

    “I think autogolem makes more sense,” Draw countered. “Either way, they’re golems so put me down so I can get to work.”

    “Wha–?” Rosy looked back confused.

    Draw was already attempting to break free and Rosy scrambled to an awkward stop and slid on her face through the grass. Whining as she sat up on her knees, she saw Draw was already drawing back a notched arrow.

    “Draw, wait! Do you even know where to shoot?”

    “It should be fine,” Draw assured Rosy and eyed the forehead of an autogolem on the far side of the grouping. “If they’re golems it shouldn’t matter.”

    *Thwip*

    Draw’s arrow flew nearly true, a rising wind taking it off course and past the framework of one autogolem into its inner gears and cogs. The automaton locked up for a moment and jerked about violently before the wood shaft was crushed by the gears and the stone head fell away. Looking down at the arrow for a moment, the autogolem soon lifted its head up to see where it came from.

    Spotting Rosy and Draw, its glowing green eyes flared red for a long moment and soon all the autogolems stopped what they were doing to turn and look at the two travelers.

    “I think you made it angry,” Rosy nervously laughed while poking at her mouth.

    “It would have been fine if the wind didn’t pick up just then,” Draw dismissed the growing threat that was starting to approach them. In fact, he began to walk towards them. “I just need to get closer. Or use an explosive arrow. That old tower had the supplies to make some more.”

    “Eh?” Rosy gasped in questioning panic. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Draw! If you fire one of those–”

    “Don’t worry,” Draw smiled confidently at Rosy, “you can outrun my arrows, can’t you?”

    “What~!” Rosy exclaimed loudly but didn’t trust Draw’s smile and bolted for the golems

    Building speed, she leapt up into the air and curled into a tight ball. Compared to when Draw’s arrow struck them, Rosy was a force of wanton destruction and bits of shredded metal and clockwork flew every as she collided with the autogolems.

    Uncurling and skidding to a stop, Rosy looked around desperately for signs of anyone who had been trapped by the machines. She did not see anyone, and the sudden explosion from Draw’s next arrow made it even more difficult.

    “Draw~!”

    Whining out in frustration was not going to help, and Rosy forced herself to quickly bash and pull apart as many autogolems as she could to slow Draw’s next shot. As she scrambled about trying to do what Sonic made look so easy, she also kept her eyes open for signs of the errant victim who had called for help. Even with the autogolems falling quickly, Rosy could not see any sign of someone in danger. ‘Yet these mean old robots looked like they were picking on someone.’

    Soon, the last autogolem fell and Rosy was joined by Draw in the devastation they left. Draw wore a satisfied expression but Rosy had puffed up her cheeks to the point that her face was red and her eyes were watering.

    “What’s wrong now you weirdo girl?”

    “Stop calling me names!” Rosy snapped. “That was really dangerous and we both could have gotten hurt!”

    “I thought Rings kept you safe?”

    “They do,” Rosy confirmed, and would have offered a counterpoint but trailed off wordless as her anger subsided. There was no sign of anyone in need of rescuing and Rosy knew Draw would argue if she mentioned that the victim could have gotten hurt. “Oh phooey!”

    Kicking a dismantled autogolem body away, Rosy huffed about looking for any signs of a person being present. She already knew there was no one, and her curiosity was defusing her bad mood faster than her feet carried her. Eventually she just had to ask. “I wonder what was powering them. I didn’t see any gems like the normal golems. Maybe it was Rings?”

    “That would mean we just broke a bunch of stuff of the Engineers,” Draw mused teasingly. “First we ran off and now we wrecked their stuff. I guess that makes us enemies now.”

    “What! No! I’m sure they’ll understand if I explain everything.”

    “But will they believe you? Fortune tellers aren’t known for being reliable.”

    “My cards never lie to me! Someone needed help! And I’m sure… I’m sure we helped them.”

    Confident as Rosy tried to be, she slumped down to her knees. She knew someone was calling for help. She knew her dowsing was not wrong either. This was where she was supposed to be.

    “Maybe I should consult–?”

    Pausing as she reached for her shoulder puff, Rosy noticed an odd brass sphere on the ground amid the wreckage. Reaching down she picked it up and studied it for a moment. It was nothing particularly special, but there were odd patterns engraved into. It made Rosy think of, “…a seal?”

    With a twist of her wrists Rosy popped open the sphere at its center and light like the color of Rings emerged from within.

    ~But it wasn’t Rings that powered the robot golems. I wasn’t really sure what it was. It had a teardrop shaped head with a ball of some kind floating above the tip. Really, all it was was a head that was small enough to look lonely in my palm with pretty gossamer wings that didn’t seem connected to it either. Yet it flew and looked at me with large eyes, glowing a color that matched its body and Rings. I hadn’t known it at the time, but that was my first ever encounter with a fairy.~

Scene 24 · CLEARED A Tiny Voice, End

-----

And there we go, another scene and week wrapped up. And yup, that is a Sonic and the Black Knight fairy. I had debated for a while if I was going to use them or not, but things have gone in a direction that allows for it so I’ve added one to the story. The next scene will be focusing more on how it ties into our little traveling party and being more character focused than anything.

I hope you enjoyed and are looking forward to the next scene! Thank you everyone!

-----

Special Thanks to Cutegirlmayra Story by @JoshTarwater/SonicFanJ Inspiring Song – What Makes the Sky Blue – Tsutomu Narita – Granblu Fantasy Original Soundtrack: Promise

Fair Use Disclaimer

Sonic the Hedgehog and all affiliated characters and logos are the express property and Copyright© of SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS used without permission under Title 17 U.S.C Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976 in which allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. “Fair use” is use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be considered copyright infringement. The Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey alternate universe (AU) consumer written work of fiction is a non-profit transformative work primarily for personal use and can and will be taken down without warning or prior notice at the request of the copyright holder(s) should it not be recognized under “fair use”.

*Sonic Ring Bond logo created by DEE Art – twitter.com/daryliscute.

Sonic Ring Bond AU and Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey are the creation of Joshua David Tarwater/ynymbus/sonicfanj/@Joshtarwater and is to be, including all contents herein considered for all legal purposes the property of the Sonic the Hedgehog intellectual property (IP) and copyright owners, SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS. All story contributors via prompt, suggestion, written scene, art, and all and every other contribution acknowledge that all contributed material is forfeit for legal purposes to SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS upon official request from SEGA SAMMY HOLDINGS.

[littlemisssquiggles]

Pinehead Headcanons: Oscar's Longest Memory

I’ve been meaning to share this headcanon ever since I discussed it with @miki-13​ a couple weeks back. So in light of the highly anticipated Schnee Dinner Party episode tomorrow, I figured now is a good time as any to share this new theory of mine for my favourite freckled farm boy turned little barn prince.

One thing I've been curious about for this season (or the Atlas Arc in general) is how exactly the PLOT is going to reintroduce Ozpin returning from his isolation. Speaking for myself, I don’t wish for Oz’s return to be just be him randomly coming to Oscar’s aid again when he’s in danger. Nor do I wish for Oz to just magically pop back into the story and instead of having everyone taking responsibility for the negative consequences their past and recent actions have done while using that to make amends with each other and start anew---it’s just Oz alone apologizing for what he’s done while the heroes get away with not even a slap on the wrist.

I don’t think it would be fair if Oz is the only one to apologize. While I understand that Oz made mistakes in his past, our heroes aren’t exactly innocent themselves. On the contrary, this season alone proves that the heroes are no different than Oz in their current predicament with Ironwood. Thus I’m still banking on this leading into the heroes realizing that they too were in the wrong for how they chose to treat Oz following the revelation of the whole truth. I’m still hoping that this experience with Ironwood is enough to finally help everyone understand why Oz chose to handle things the way he did after spending some time in his shoes. That way, once everyone reunites, they’ll be on the same page with one another and as I said, be able to start fresh and rebuild their previous trust in one another based on what they all learnt from this experience.

That being said, in regards to Oscar---one thing that I’ve been saying is that I believe Oscar is the key to repairing the severed bonds between Ozpin and his team. Right now, Oscar is caught in the middle of all this conflict. He seems to be the lone mutual party who isn’t biased towards one side. Meaning that in spite of his growing good rapport with the rest of his team, that doesn’t mean he isn’t willing to trust Oz again. His remark of “Oz looking out for everyone in his isolation”  back in V6 sparked my certainty in this regard.

My theory has always been for Oscar to reconcile with Ozpin first within his mind. From there, Oscar would bring Ozpin out of his isolation and be prepared to speak on his behalf to help convince the others towards all of them making peace.

I still believe in this hunch. However for most of V7, there hasn’t really been much indication of Oscar attempting to reach out to Oz within his mind. So again I’m left pondering on what could be an interesting way to do this given the current plot development we have so far for season.

This brings me to my discussion with Miki. We both shared the same idea of perhaps…Oscar will have an unfortunate run-in with Tyrian Callows. Tyrian will sting Oscar and fall into a comatose state which will then lead to Oscar going on a journey to find Oz within his mind.

Since I’ve been quoting plot threads from the Little Prince tale in reference to Oscar’s story for RWBY, there is a part in the story where the Prince was stung by a snake before he could reunite with his beloved rose on his home planet. The presumption is that the Prince was killed by the snake; though according to my research, the story more alludes to the Prince’s death rather than directly saying it.

So all that in mind, here’s my idea for the next episode and the episode afterwards:

I think something detrimental needs to happen to Oscar again in order for to heroes to realize how wrong they've been about Ozpin.  

The last time we had a CH8 episode as the last episode of the year, it concluded on Oscar disappearing as a result of Jaune’s outburst after he had learnt the truth.

So imagine if …there is a major attack at the Schnee Dinner Party during which Oscar ends up mortally injured from an attack meant to kill Ironwood. Let’s say…Jacques planned to have Tyrian murder all the members of the Atlesian Council who had been invited to the party. That way, in the end, Jacques will be the only surviving Council member and will no longer have anyone standing in his way of getting what he wants. All of Atlas will be under Jacques’ reign.

Let’s say…Tyrian successfully manages to slaughter all the Council members except Ironwood. All because at the last minute, Oscar had saved James by pushing him out the way allowing himself to be Tyrians’ target instead.

Speaking of the General, I’m also curious as to what it will take to set Ironwood off and go into his own downward spiral. Despite implying that he wasn't going to end up like Lionheart, I think we can all come to same conclusion that this part of the General’s story is definitely in the cards at this point.

Leonardo gave into his fears and betrayed his allies to join Salem. And while Ironwood won't sink so low as to join Salem, I think he's more in danger of becoming more like her and losing his own humanity if he honestly considered a 'lack of humanity' as an asset to Salem's conquests.

 The last time Salem struck, Ironwood lost Ozpin. CH7 is the second time Ironwood has hinted at wishing Oz was still around. It's very evident that James misses his old friend and I'm wondering if there is a part of him that low-key blames himself for Ozpin's death too.

Just as how if anything were to happen to Oscar on the General’s watch with the poor boy being placed at death's doorstep in an attack that was meant for James, I think that would devastate James just as much as Oz's death did since he has been spending more time with Oscar; getting to know him personally.

Not to mention, Ironwood did promise Oscar back in the second episode that, quote, “He will be safe in Atlas”. So imagine how distraught Ironwood would feel if that promise were to be broken yet again.

I have a feeling that Oscar may be used once again as a catalyst to advance the third act of the plot. I could be wrong about that but I can't help but feel like one of our main heroes will be a victim to whatever Jacques had planned with Watts.

Last time for V6, I was right on the money with Oscar running away. So…will I be right again about something big happening at the party and Oscar being an unfortunate victim caught in the crossfire?

Only time will tell. However I actually wouldn’t mind if something that were to happen for the episode. Mainly because I feel like should Oscar were to get seriously hurt, it could lead to the following things:

Ruby realizing the error of her actions: The idea I had with this was that, while at the party, Oscar will once again confront Ruby on the matter of revealing the whole truth to Ironwood. However Ruby once again shows reluctance with this and she and Oscar end up arguing over the right call. During their heated quarrel, Ruby says something to Oscar that she will ultimately regret. Let’s say…Ruby reveals that her distrust in Ozpin, blaming him for everything which then leads to her confessing that she may never trust him again.

This revelation greatly upsets Oscar since, Oz is a part of him and there is a chance that he may even become him someday. So by extension, Ruby saying that she distrusts Oz and will never trust him again meant that she doesn’t trust Oscar either. Although Ruby tries to take back what she says, the damage had already been done.

The Little Prince had officially had enough his little red rose’s behaviour and just like in the original fairy-tale, Oscar leaves Ruby with her last words to him being that she doesn’t trust him…right before Oscar gets seriously hurt and on the verge of death. As far as I know, the Prince’s true rose never got the chance to see him again since he died before he could return to his home by the fangs of the Snake character.

And  similar to how the Rose didn’t realize her true feelings for her Prince until he departed from their planet, what if…Ruby didn’t realize how much faith she did have in Oscar until he was mortally wounded by Tyrian and on the verge of death?

 Oscar’s Journey to Oz in the form of him going to find Oz in his mind. Now we can get into the real meat of my post. Let’s discuss Oscar’s Longest Memory:

Okay, so as I mentioned before, my concept is that Oscar is mortally wounded by Tyrian Callows in a killing blow that was meant for Ironwood. After that, Oscar falls into a coma with all of his allies worrying whether or not he will ever wake up again.

While in his comatose state, Oscar finds himself trapped in a continuous loop where he keeps reliving the very last days he spent back home on the farm with his family---all leading up to the day he was supposed to leave with Ozpin to begin his journey to Mistral.

Let’s say…in the memory, Oscar never met Oz. As we all know, Oscar wouldn’t gotten the encouragement to leave the farm if Oz hadn’t spoken to him that first time. And with Oz presumably still in isolation and his presence no longer there to guide Oscar towards his true destiny, Oscar just goes about his days like normal. But the entire time, while Oscar is reliving his final days at home, the way its depicted is that, despite being home behaving like he’s never left, Oscar couldn’t help but feel the entire time like he was forgetting something. Forgetting something important that he was supposed to do. Or rather, meet someone he was supposed to?

I even have this idea of Oscar having a similar experience to Ozma in the Lost Fable during his lifetime with Salem as Diggs.

Remember that scene from the episode where Ozma is looking at a reflection of himself in the window of his and Salem’s home castle when his other half---I believe it was Diggs speaking to Ozma here---asked him “What are we doing?” which in turn snaps Ozma out of his confliction.

I’m imagining a moment similar to that Oscar is looking at himself in the mirror---the very same mirror down in his barn where he had first heard Ozpin speak to him. I’m picturing Oscar looking at his reflection, back in his old farm boy threads, wracking his brain to figure out what’s happening to him and why he felt so strange---like he was forgetting something very, very important. At first, all Oscar saw was his own reflection only for his mirror copy to suddenly ask him “What are we doing?”  

Since Oscar’s current qualm seems to be his conflicting feelings regarding the Merge, I’m imagining a moment where Oscar is standing almost at a crossroads within himself. Like picture Oscar coming face to face with his past self---his old farmhand self.

Let’s say…in his longest memory, the one sure-fire way for Oscar to wake up from his comatose state is for him to leave the farm and start his journey.

Perhaps even in the real world, there is this conflict going on where if Oscar doesn’t wake up from his unconsciousness soon, he could potentially die or something along those lines, just to amp up the stakes. So the others---his teammates, his friends are desperately trying to do whatever they can to wake Oscar up. To make him open his eyes.

Meanwhile in Oscar’s mind, he’s fighting his own internal battles on whether or not he should leave. In his mind, Oscar trapped home on the farm wondering if leaving was the right choice. Because that’s how this all started. With Oscar leaving the farm.

So it’s a scenario where Oscar has to leave but this time, rather than it being Ozpin telling Oscar he has to leave (and not really giving him much of a choice), it’s Oscar telling himself that he has to leave. Like maybe at first, Oscar believes that the person telling him to leave all the time---this boy in the mirror who looks exactly like him---is probably Oz trying to communicate with Oscar and help him escape this memory. But to Oscar’s surprise. It isn’t Oz. It’s Oscar himself---the part of him that made up his mind that he was going to see through on his promise to help his team no matter what---that was telling him to leave. This time, it’s Oscar’s own choice that he made on his own. Not just because it felt like the right thing to do. But because it was a choice he now believed in.

With this idea, I’m envisioning a scene where Oscar is standing face to face with his past ---Farm Boy Oscar back in his old farm boy threads who is actively chastising Oscar for even wanting to leave home since there was no good for him outside.

Basically imagine …Oscar’s past self being the embodiment of all of his concerns for the future; his doubts about himself, his doubts in his place on the team, his worries whether or not anyone actually trusts or even cares about him, his worries about just being ‘another one of Ozma’s lives’ to live and die in vain.

Here is this version of Oscar---with his own face and in his own voice, practically screaming every negative thought he’s been silently holding back from admitting to himself for so long.

“…We were a fool for leaving home. You think they actually care about you. You heard them. They never saw you for who you are. Of course they never trusted you! 

They don’t know you! They never knew you! You didn’t really think they’d accepted you into their group. You never had your own place. To them, you’re just another one of his lives and pretty soon, they’ll forget all about you.

Stay home Oscar! Don’t leave! This is where you belong. At least this way, you get to stay and be yourself again. This is what you truly want. Trust me. Because who knows you better than you…”

And somehow by doing that, by facing himself and hearing himself admit his own fears, it what makes Oscar’s choice all the more significant. He needed to leave. So basically, in a nutshell, Oscar yells back at his old self that this wasn’t who he was. I mean, it used to be and that part of him will always be there because it is a part of him. However Oscar has also accepted the other side of him---the side that he shares with Oz.

So in the end, Oscar makes up his mind to leave home. But not without Oz. So after dealing with past, Oscar goes and finds Oz. The two souls reunite deep within Oscar’s mind. They even have a chat and ultimately, Oscar convinces Oz to return to the others with him. Even extends his hand to Oz---as neat little call-back to what Oz had told him back in V4.

Because while the farm with his family and his old memories of his past was Oscar’s home back then (and not even the Merge was going to take that away from him) he eventually also comes to terms with the fact that his new home was with his team and he needed to reunite with them to fulfil his duties to humanity by working to stop Salem and her forces. So basically the memory ends with both Oscar and Ozpin walking through the gates of Oscar’s old home, returning to the real world.

And when next Oscar finally regains consciousness---as he opens his eyes, he awakens to find himself surrounded by everyone who had all eagerly been awaiting his return. And it is from this moment, folks where the reconciliation begins.

That’s my idea.

I know the likelihood of something like this happening in the canon is not really there. Nonetheless, I’d still like to think that something like this could’ve been cool to see done in the show. Especially for Oscar and Ozpin.  

Most of all, I was hoping for a future moment where the audience could’ve seen Oscar meet Oz for the first time within his mind. We never exactly got an interpretation of what the inside of Oscar’s mind looks like.

Somehow, this squiggle meister is envisioning Oscar’s mental dreamscape being an endless plane of grassy fields overlooking a beautiful sunrise since that time of the day seems to be most associated with Oscar.

It was a sunrise during the first scene we were introduced to Oscar’s character back in V4 and it was also sunrise when he left home and began his journey.

Now I’m imagining Oscar and Oz just sitting in a field watching the sunrise since this was Oscar’s lingering memory of his home. It’s a memory that Oscar shares with Oz, all before the little barn prince takes the old wizard’s hand and leads him back to reality where their friends were all waiting for them.

I think something like would’ve been real sweet for Oscar and Ozpin’s story. Like I said, I don’t think we’ll really get something like this for show. But nonetheless, it would’ve nice and for what it’s worth, I hope you all at least like it as a headcanon.

More Squiggles’ Pinehead Headcanons

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)