#if its still up i cannot find it on youtube

[thedrotter]

Do any of you remember a Youtube video about Re:Kinder talking about how the game is seen and percieved by some people (mostly touching upon and arguing against how it has been treated insensitively as some sort of weird legend like "ooo disturbing game with a hidden truth behind it" due to it's creator being dead), as well as talking about the charm of the game (even mentioning it's art at some point) and sadness of the themes without spoiling anything at the same time?? I remember the video avoided saying any spoilers at all and only touched on the literal plot as the kids being stuck in a dire situation in the town with all the adults dead without really getting into the why (it didn't even say one of the kids themselves was the cause— as thus, spoiler free), other than that it just touched on the emotional side of it and vaguely mentioned some scenes.

i also remember at some point the later half (at the very least if not in all of it) of the video, music by Siinamota was playing in the background. Does anyone remember seeing a video like this?

I can't seem to find it anywhere and don't even remember the exact year I watched it.😭 It was the way I found out about this game a while ago, which eventually ended up in me playing it, and I really wish I could watch it again. I thought it was a deleted video by someone called hazel as it was mentioned by a lot of people, but I found that one and it isnt it.😓 I'm wondering if anyone remembers watching something along the lines of what im describing and knows if it's still up.

[xclowniex]

So there is a post going around with a realy suspicious map, and OP of the post has me blocked so here is a link to their post since I cannot reblog it.

Okay so, I looked into this as from my own experience the map looked suspicious.

The orignal post of the map has been deleted. You can find the deleted post on reddit about it here.

I managed to find a repost of the map on tumblr, which had linked to the deleted reddit post, and you can find the repost of the orignal map here. Now onto debunking OP's claim of the map.

The title of the map is not solely about the west bank, it is about full john oliver episodes being unavailable in countries. Not just the west bank episode, all full episodes.

When I try to watch the video, i get the below error from youtube

Yep your eyes do see correctly. It is the uploader who made it unavailable. This means that either John Oliver himself, his production team or HBO who has the rights to his show, decided to make his content not available to be viewed in certain countries.

A comment on the reddit post which I think people should read is

"The title of this post makes many people think OP means ‘countries that have banned this’. Instead, this is just ‘countries where a network pays for the broadcast rights for this show’. The highlighted countries are ones where the show is most popular. The blank countries are where it’s not popular, so they give it away for free to try to drum up support"

Aka this is not purposeful censorship by (((zionists)) like tumblr op is trying to frame it. Its not keeping what happens in the west bank a secret. It is a decision made by someone in charge of the show, to make as much money as possible. Which still sucks! But, it sucks for different reasons than what tumblr OP is alluding to.

3. Tumblr OP is being antisemitic. Whilst it is definately written in a more subtle way, it is still invoking the whole "jews control the media" trope. A well known antisemitic trope is still antisemitic even if "jew" is replaced with "zionist". This is because whilst not every use of "zionist" is a proxy word of jew, it happens more than you think, to the point where meta (instagram and facebook) updated their hate speech policy to puroposefully include "zionist when its being used as proxy (aka dogwhistle) for jew is now hate speech on our platform". Meta still allows it to be used when talking about zionism as a political ideology, and have only banned the use of it as a proxy for jew.

OP of this post has already blocked me (only found out when i saw this post), so I wanna thank @coffeeconcentrate for reblogging this and not having me blocked so I can actually have a chance at reaching even a small group of people to make them aware of this so they don't fall for this poorly made post.

[morgana-ren]

I have Dark Urge, Gortash and Astarion jealousy brain rot after that youtube video of them bickering. This is not related to the bickering but I keep thinking it!!!

"I don't remember," You hiss, fighting back the sudden lump in your throat. "I don't remember you, I don't even remember me."

"Still so quick to anger, " Gortash sounds amused as he reaches out, and for some reason you don't make any move to stop him. You don't fear him, in fact deep down there's an almost longing for his touch.

There's a slight flicker of surprise across his face as he cups your chin lightly, slowly stroking his thumb over your bottom lip, his gaze flicking quickly over your shoulder. You don't fight him, but you do fight the sudden urge to lean in to his touch, to open your mouth and brush the tip of your tongue over his thumb. You’re not sure if the shiver down your spine is your own confused arousal or the pulse of jealous anger from Astarion you can feel whispering through your tadpole. Gortash' lips quirk, there's a tiny hint of a smile as he leans in close and that burning pulse in your head turns into liquid fire through your veins. It's overwhelming, and so so confusing. Astarion's thoughts mixing with your own until you feel like you're going to drown in a haze of anger and lust. 

Gortash gaze slips over your shoulder again and you feel a pang of anxiousness at his inattention, but its gone just as fast as he lowers his head and you raise your own instinctively, losing yourself in the need to press your mouth to his. 

"You may not remember me, sweet thing," his nose brushes against yours as his voice drops to a whisper. "But your body does."

Malformed, foggy memories flashbang your brain as he stands so closely that you can smell the brandy and exotic spice on his skin, tugging your heartstrings from some unfathomably deep level within you. It hammers incessantly on the protective shield your mind has placed over your memories of your old life, drawing on something overwhelming and instinctive within you, though you cannot recall what.

It is an urge that makes your heart pound, but unlike the insatiable bloodlust that plagues your every thought, this one demands not only acquiescence, but obedience. Like a dog brought to heel by the call of its master, your breath stoppers in your throat as he leans in, lips brushing sensitive skin, your body anticipating the next move even as you do not consciously recognize what it might be. You salivate as a wolf over carrion, hands trembling in their need to reach forward, to pull him to you with such a force that it topples you both--

"Surely you're aware that not everything the body remembers is a good memory," Astarion speaks from behind you, his voice almost enough to shock you out of the lust-induced spell Gortash has placed you under with unnerving ease. His lips curl upward in a mimic of a smile, and yet it looks all too much like an animalistic snarl: far too much fang to be genuine.

"True that may be, but I'm sure you can feel for yourself that isn't the case here," Gortash offers him a quick and easy grin, bloodshot eyes narrowing only slightly.

Deep shame at the realization that Astarion is privy to the bombardment of desire bubbling within your core. Even as you try to hide it, your legs still quiver, heart rabbiting behind your ribs, trying to lock out the scent that cloys up your nostrils to nestle in your brain to stir up memories better left abandoned.

"Oh, I don't know about that. It seems markedly unpleasant to me."

There is a tense insecurity emanating from him, but buried beneath it, there is anger and the vicious snap of jealousy. It's all terribly foreign to him in the way that even the worm has difficulty translating, and it only makes the situation all the more awkward. You haplessly look back at him in a wordless apology, unable to even find the words to properly convey your feelings.

His eyes don't meet yours, but his hand slithers around your waist, tugging you back towards his chest in a territorial show of dominance, and as he does, there is a subtle flash to Gortash's eyes. Astarion does not let you go, and Gortash does not step back. Neither looks at you any further, but rather at each other.

It's a look you recognize; a hunter sizing up his mark.

"Funny. I remember her being capable of speaking for herself." "She's capable of a lot more than that." "Oh, I remember," Gortash cocks his head, and another pang of lust damn near drags you to your knees. Something burrows through your brain, trying to claw its way out. A half-formed memory, dark and lined in velvet; a gold-laden hand curling around your throat, hips rolling against yours so deeply it hurts, the cry of his name from your lips.

You feel Astarion recoil, his face unmoving as iron but his hand clenching enough to pain. Whatever it was, he saw it.

"Yes, well, all in the past, hmm?"

"The future is yet to be written," Gortash arches a brow, his gaze once again drawn down to yours. "Personally, I prefer an authoring hand in my own destiny."

[yonpote]

its still an hour left for the us east coast until Thing Day. not to get mushy but like, im happy they got to meet on this day cuz it spawned ALL OF THIS. that one meeting, that one youtube comment, that one twitter reply, led to this massive, insane, and at the core, extremely loving and caring community! its so wild how dan becoming fixated on this one youtuber and phil finding himself charmed by this guy in return, it led to all of this. the art and stories and edits and projects and fundraising events and deeper connections beyond the youtubers we like, its why i prefer calling us a Community over a Fandom. like we are a fandom but moreso we kind of have our own weird little ecosystem thats infinitely interesting in its own right and yet centering these two... "Just Some Guys"-ass guys! like they are regular ass people but thats kinda why we love them so much right? especially now, they are so themselves and even when they were closeted they always championed and identified with people who were a little different, who were outcasts, like no wonder we find so much comfort in them!

and its just this incredible thing where they are in turn comfortable with us and they've become one of us or maybe they've always been one of us, literally phil having been a yaoi fanfic writer in his youth LOL but seriously!! i cannot think of a single creator who is at dan and phil's level of popularity and yet always stayed down-to-earth and felt like a PART of us, and more specifically, enjoys being inundated with our culture as fans! we joke that they stalk us but honestly it's cuz they are interested in the shit we post and talk about and they think we are interesting and funny people enough that some of yalls tweets show up directly on their feed. i dont know ANYONE who has this sort of willing interaction with even the admittedly weirder side of fans and fandom culture who isn't doing it in some tongue-in-cheek "we actually think youre all cringe" way. they GET us in a way you dont often see with creators as big as dnp.

anyway love is love i hope their kiss is broadcasted live in an mcr fan's instagram livestream <3

[snapscube]

youtube says my browser cannot play the new Mt. Molehill episode? which is very strange as i have never seen any other youtube video do that. i dont know what to do

its probably because it's currently still premiering and theres something wacky going on w that? try a bit later tonight if u cant get it to work and it should be up! or u can find the show on like..... all the podcast places :)

[amorpaints]

Love at First Paint: A Beginner's Guide to Painting

"Almond Blossom" by Vincent van Gogh (1853 - 1890), Saint-Rémy-de-Provence, February 1890

Have you ever dreamed of being like Picasso or Vincent Van Gogh? If you do, you are looking at the wrong blog because I am far from them. But hey there! I'm Eden Amor, a freshman student and a self-taught artist who just loves to paint.

Art has been my passion since I was a kid, and as I grew older, I fell even more in love with it and started trying out different mediums and styles. But there's just something about painting that really excites me! I started with graphite, then moved on to colored pencils, and even dabbled in charcoal (although I never got around to using those charcoal pencils I ordered online). Finally, I found my true love in watercolors, and I've been obsessed with working with wet mediums ever since!

If you are a beginner in painting (like me, have been a skill of a beginner for years), you can enjoy my blog and get some tips that I learned from my starting journey. But if you are just interested in painting or in art generally, you can still read this blog.

Just a disclaimer: I am no expert and just a self-taught artist. Some things might work for me and not for you, and vice versa, so take this blog with a grain of salt.

LEARN ABOUT PAINTING

Since I am a self-taught artist myself, I never applied for workshops in drawing or painting. But most of my art knowledge is from YouTube tutorials, shorts, and IG reels (I have no TikTok, I don’t know why). I suggest learning about the basics before painting whatever you want because you’ll get disappointed after the result or wondering why everything is not working the way you wanted. 

But before anything else, find the medium that you want. Mediums like acrylic, oil, gouache, and watercolor. There might be more but these four are some of the common wet mediums. One thing to address about these mediums is that they all have different properties and the techniques you’ll approach, the materials you’ll use, and the finish or outcome of the painting will depend on the medium. 

MEDIUMS

Watercolor

My recommendation for anyone wanting to start painting with no experience is to use watercolors. The only things you need are watercolor paint and water. Unlike acrylic paint, which, although water-based, can get pretty messy and dries quickly, giving you little time to blend and touch up unless you use an acrylic medium called Retarder, which is a medium that you mix with the paint to slow its drying time, but will cost you more. So, as simple as watercolor can be, it's a great starting point for a beginner in painting. 

However, watercolor painting can be tricky when it comes to water manipulation. The amount of water your brush holds affects in creating an even layer of paint. The drying time takes hours, especially if you are working in layers, if you paint the still-damp surface too early, you will ruin everything and you cannot cover it up since watercolor is transparent. That is why watercolor painting is done light-to-dark because dark colors cannot be covered by light colors. So planning ahead of time is suggested and should not paint with watercolor impulsively.

Acrylic

If you want to take the next level or just explore other mediums, acrylic painting is great for high coverage and textures. What watercolor doesn’t have but acrylic has is the ability to cover mistakes. In acrylic painting, you can paint on top of a painting, which is great especially if you change your mind or decide to start all over again, as long you coat more than one layer of white paint then you have a blank canvas again.

However acrylic paint, as said earlier, dries quickly which can be a disadvantage if you are a slow painter (like me) and especially if you are making a seamless gradient, which is very difficult to achieve and not as easy as you think. Since acrylic is water-based, cleaning is very easy with just water as long as the paint is still wet. Hardened paints can be peeled off easily but only on smooth surfaces, but if you got it on something like fabric, it will be forever on it.

Gouache

I describe gouache (pronounced as ‘goo-aash’) as a combination of watercolor and acrylic. Because like watercolor, gouache is water-activated paint, which means that dried paints can be revived and used the paint again when wet. And just like acrylic, gouache has high coverage and a thick consistency which is great for texture. But unlike acrylic, which has a glossy finish, the gouache creates a matte finish once the paint is dry and it also dries fast giving you no more time for creating flawless gradients.

I use gouache for mini projects, or creating art trends I saw online, but I don’t recommend it for painting a big major project since it can be smudge once wet, and as of now, I don’t know if there’s an appropriate varnish for gouache so if you have any idea please let me know in the comment section.

Oil

The most expensive of the four mentioned paint mediums is oil paint. However, oil paint creates the most realistic paintings. Despite its high cost, what makes me love oil paint is how smoothly the paintbrush glides, like butter. Blending oil paint is very easy, and you can create flawless gradients between colors. Oil paint has a very slow drying time. For small projects, such as those the size of half a sheet of bond paper, it can take days to weeks to fully dry and be ready for varnish. This slow drying time can be both an advantage and a disadvantage, depending on the complexity of your painting. It allows you to fix mistakes or make adjustments even the next day. Additionally, a small amount of oil paint goes a long way.

Oil painting can be hazardous because it involves flammable oil-based paints, as well as mediums like thinner and linseed oil. While water is used to dilute watercolor, gouache, and acrylic paints, oil paint requires the use of thinner. It's important to avoid washing oil paintbrushes with water, as it can damage the brushes and won't effectively remove the paint. Additionally, it's crucial to store oil paints, thinner, and linseed oil away from sources of heat and fire.

Since I am only new to oil painting, I cannot give much in-depth information about it and if you do please I beg for some advice and tips in oil painting.

Materials in Painting

Painting can be an expensive hobby given that the materials used (especially the branded ones) are not really as cheap as a pencil and a piece of paper. But aside from being a painter, I am also a cheapskate. 

I will never buy an art supply that is as expensive as my kidney, UNLESS if it is worth it or I can make money out of it. I don’t really have all the money to buy all the art supplies I want, I am still dependent on my parents and have no job yet (currently at college, 18, and an irresponsible young adult). 

That is why I chose to buy art supplies online instead from the art stores near my place. And I think as a beginner, expensive materials are unnecessary because for me an artist should be able to make a masterpiece with his/her skill and not the tools. But that doesn’t mean the quality of materials will not make a difference. So if you are the same as me, you can use my tips.

Paint

The paints I use are not of great quality, but they are good enough. I honestly thought that some of the paints I bought were much better than the pricier ones. 

In watercolor, there are two common types: in the tubes and in the pans. The tubed paints have a consistency of acrylic, unlike the ones in the pans, which are hardened. What I have is the Superior Watercolor in pans set. I bought them online for less than $10, and it is a set of 18 colors with a brush pen and sponge included. The quality is great, it is not chalky, and it doesn’t smudge once dried. I spent my money wisely, and I do not regret buying it even though $10 is already a lot to me.

When it comes to acrylic and oil paint, I suggest buying the primary colors (ultramarine blue, crimson red, cadmium yellow), titanium white, black, and magenta only. I highly suggest buying a large amount of white because you’ll need it most of the time. Buying a set is very costly, but with these 6 colors, you can create any color, save money, and at the same time improve color-matching skills, which is an essential skill as a painter. If you wonder why I added magenta, it is because the combination of red and white is not bright enough to be pink or it is just different from the color magenta, and I think having magenta in the collection is a good addition. I used the Mont Marte brand in acrylic and Marie’s for oil paint.

Paintbrush

There are different shapes of brushes: flat, round, filbert, and detail are the commonly used shapes, and it depends on the medium you are using. For watercolor, a round brush is recommended, and a flat brush is recommended for thick paints like acrylic and oil paint. A filbert brush is also a flat brush, but the trim is round, and it is good for painting clouds. A detailed brush is used for small details like painting dots and thin lines or for small paintings. There are more shapes of brushes out there, but having a variety of brushes can be overwhelming. Get only the brushes you need and have them in sizes small, medium, and large. The size of the brush will depend on how small or big your painting is. Using the appropriate shape and size of the brush will lessen your expenses and you’ll learn to depend more on your skills than the tools.

There are cheap but not too cheap brushes available online. They are not branded, but the quality is good enough (like the ones I use), and the bristles don’t come off easily.

Paper

We can paint on anything, but nothing beats paper. However, the paper used in painting is not just an ordinary paper. The thickness of the paper used in painting, particularly watercolor paper, is important so that the paint would not easily destroy it.

Watercolor paper is usually combined with cotton, making it more durable than regular paper or cardstock. The percentage of cotton in the paper varies as the price varies. It is recommended to use 200 gsm paper, which is what I have because it is affordable and good enough to hold a few layers of paint.

However, I highly recommend using 300 gsm paper because the 200 gsm papers I use still curl up or bend and get wavy, which is a hassle when painting. The higher quality, 300gsm paper or paper containing 100% cotton is easier to work with, as I have observed online, even without taping the paper down, it doesn’t curl up. But of course, high-quality paper costs more, so 200 gsm paper is good enough.

If you are wondering why I called the paper used in painting "watercolor paper," it's because you can also use watercolor paper for acrylic, gouache, and oil painting.

There are two types of watercolor paper:

Cold Press - Cold-pressed watercolor paper has a rough texture, which is great for watercolor painting because it gives more depth to the flat painting (water is water, they can't have shapes and textures like acrylic).

Hot Press - The hot-pressed one is recommended for thick paints because it has a fine, smooth surface, which is great for blending smoothly.

Aside from paper, you can also use canvas paper, stretched canvas, or a canvas panel for thick paints. However, since you are only starting in painting, paper is recommended for practice and is much cheaper than the canvas mentioned above.

OTHERS

Masking Tape

Why masking tape? It is used for tapping down the edges of the watercolor paper so it stays put and flat on the surface which makes painting much easier, and also it creates a clean border. You may see other artists use washi tape because they are less sticky and won't damage the paper once it is peeled off, but I think using washi tape costs more, instead, stick first the ordinary masking tape onto your clothes until it becomes less sticky, and then you are good to go.

Mixing Palette

Usually in watercolor paint sets, the lid of the container serves as the palette. However, when using thick paints like acrylic or oil, a better alternative to a traditional paint palette is a picture frame. Mixing paint on a glass surface is convenient for two reasons: (a) it is smooth and does not absorb the paint, and (b) it is easy to clean. Dried acrylic or oil paint can be easily peeled off the glass or scraped with a blade or glass scraper, leaving a fresh and clean surface for mixing. Additionally, the wood or plastic frame around the glass provides protection against breakage and sharp edges.

Towel/Tissue

A used towel or tissue is not only used for cleaning; it is also mainly used for soaking up the excess water on a brush or for wiping off the excess paint. It is very handy, so you should always have it by your side while painting.

Jar

A brush washer is a must-have for painting. This is where you wash off the paint with water from the brush. You can use an old cup or jar as a brush washer instead of buying the fancy ones which is unnecessary. I prefer using a jar because it is heavier than a regular plastic cup, which prevents it from tumbling or spilling. 

Here's a tip I learned from YouTube: use two brush washers. When you wash your brush once in a single container, the water gets muddy. This can make your fresh paint muddy when you switch colors. To prevent this, wash your brush twice: once in the first container and then again in the second container. This ensures that the water picked up by your brush is clean and not muddy.

ART STYLE

Early in my painting journey, I started practicing by painting scenic landscapes because they seemed easy to me. Of course, I overestimated myself. So I continued practicing more. Painting nature has grown on me, and I realized that my genre is landscape painting. The good thing about it is there is less structure unlike a portrait of a person, and shapes are organic so I will have no problem with imperfections. 

However, I still don’t have the ability to create my own work. I still have to watch tutorials online to have a guide. Most of my artworks were tutored by the artists I follow. Once I start painting with just a reference from Pinterest, I tend to get lost and suddenly don’t know what to do. I end up not continuing the work, which is a waste of time, energy, and material.

Lately, I returned to working with watercolor, but instead of nature, I used a reference photo of a person as a subject. Sketching the face first is my least favorite part, because if I mess up sketching the face, the whole painting is also a mess. Most of my subjects are K-pop idols, especially BTS, because I am also an ARMY! Working with faces is difficult but once you succeed, it is all worth it. 

Social media has highly influenced my art style. The fact that I get envious whenever I see new art trends gives me a push and inspires me to continue doing my art and explore more.

Check Out These Artists I Follow

Correa Art

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@CorreaArt

Instagram: instagram.com/correaart_

Jess Chung

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@JessChungArt

Instagram: instagram.com/jesschungart

Emily Mackey Art

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@EmilyMackeyArt

Instagram: instagram.com/emilymackeyar

Genelyn Sandaga

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@GenelynSandaga

Instagram: instagram.com/genelyn_sandaga

Socials

If you want to know more about my art, you can visit and support my two Instagram accounts:

@ChiliCheeseLover

@paintwith_amore

💜💜💜

If you have feedback to share, please do! I am eager to hear your thoughts. If not, kindly give this blog a heart; it is greatly appreciated!

💜💜💜

[teecupangel]

Desmond being bored and deciding to make a retelling of his ancestors for shaun or historians of the assassin's. Except he 'accidentally' makes it public and it goes viral, given that sometimes its Desmond and other times its his ancestors from the bleeding effect

The Assassins desperately needed a win.

After the Great Purge, the Assassins were left imprison in a sinking ship.

William Miles and Gavin Banks tried their best to protect and hide what was left but it was a losing battle.

It made people desperate.

Desperate enough to place their fate in Desmond Miles.

Desmond Miles, the runaway son of William Miles.

Desmond Miles, the descendant to Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad and Ezio Auditore.

The golden boy of the Assassins.

He didn’t really care much about him.

Rebecca Crane was his tech support so he never even met the great Desmond Miles.

He was stuck here, in the basement of a loud club in Berlin, doing his job as one of the contact persons of Erudito.

Most of the time, he just helped Erudito fuck Abstergo’s shit up.

Or try to anyway.

Abstergo does have one of the most impressive security system money can buy.

They were slowly chipping on it though.

Most of Erudito were still trying to throw rocks at the digital bullet proof system Abstergo has while he and the best of Erudito hack into another company who uses the same system to find its weaknesses that they can use against Abstergo.

They were so close to a break through.

And he may have drunk 6 or 7 energy drinks for the last 62 hours so he actually thought he was hallucinating for a moment when he clicked the link one of the Erudito hackers he was working with had spent with the message “dude, isn’t he one of yours? O.o”.

It was a youtube video.

Of Desmond Miles…

In that motherfucking (should certainly be) secret hideout in Italy.

With that motherfucking statue of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad behind him, completely clear on view.

“So you wanted to know what Ezio was doing while he was looking for Cesare Borgia, right, Shaun? You went out and I know I’ll be back in the Animus by the time you get here so I’m recording this so you can watch it while I’m stuck in the Animus.”

“So… Cesare left Roma after he failed to kill Ezio and got sent to Castel Sant’Angelo.”

He blinked.

Was…

Was Desmond Miles giving a history lesson???

Oh, fuck, he was.

And he just namedropped Machiavelli and Leonardo as Ezio’s companions who were also looking for where Cesare was transferred after he escaped and got captured again in Firenze.

And…

He had started to speak in Italian.

Not only that…

His entire demeanor, even the way he sat had changed.

He had only heard about it.

The Bleeding Effect.

Desmond Miles was bleeding as Ezio Auditore in a fucking video in the internet.

His second phone began to rang and he prayed to every holy and demonic being that it wasn’t William Miles.

No matter what William Miles say, he cannot just scrub that video from the internet.

It was obvious (6 millions views! What the fuck!!!) that someone out there had already downloaded this video and taking it down would just spark more controversy.

He looked at the number and knew exactly who was calling him.

He accepted the call and said immediately, “What the fuck, Crane. Why did Miles upload a video to fucking Youtube?!”

Rebecca groaned and he could hear Lucy Stillman and Shaun Hastings shouting in the background, most probably ripping Desmond Miles a new one.

“The phone he used to record it automatically uploads to Youtube.”

He blinked.

“That is bullshit.”

“It’s true! It’s one of Lucy’s burner phones and she didn’t even change the settings at all! It defaulted to that kind of setting!”

“No phone has an automatic upload to Youtube and you know it.”

“I know but this one does! It’s so weird! It’s like… something weird is going on here!”

“I’d believe it more if you said Miles wanted to publish it as unlisted but fucked up.”

Rebecca groaned once more.

A phone that automatically uploads to Youtube.

That was such bullshit.

.

.

(Rebecca is telling the truth. The phone is a weird one and Lucy can’t even remember where she got it. Almost like… it was always there. Dun dun dun)

[respectthepetty]

I recently entered asian qls, and I've been hearing a lot about gmmtv in thai bl. what's the deal with that? do they make good bls or something?

What's the deal with GMMTV?

I (and a few other people) have given GMMTV the nickname of Disney BL because

It has the budget

It has stylish shows

Most are plot-by-numbers (meaning formula style plots that are predictable)

And it's all about branding

Good and bad are subjective, so does GMMTV make "good" BLs is not a question that can be answered, especially by me, but GMMTV does make BLs. A lot of BLs.

In 2022 and 2023, half of its shows were BLs. And a few others were BL-lite (Midnight Museum and Home School, I'm looking at you). Out of the 16 shows announced in GMMTV 2024 Part 1 (Part 2 is coming tomorrow), 10 of those shows were BLs/GLs/QLs. Over half of their shows are focused on queer relationships. [Photos from Boys Love Hub]

So regardless if I think they are good or not, the company is doing some heavy lifting in regards to queer representation since all of their shows have 1) a queer character, 2) a queer director, or 3) a queer producer.

As much shit as I want to give GMMTV, and DO, the company makes being queer palatable for mass distribution, and that's mainly because of its branding and reach since all shows, at one point, were free on YouTube for most countries.

Take right now for example, BrightWin fans are up in arms because Bright has a girlfriend. BrightWin haven't had a series since 2021's 2gether movie. THREE YEARS AND PEOPLE STILL SHIP 'EM! *eye roll* And that's because GMMTV doesn't just make BLs. It makes a brand of each and every one of its actors. If an actor is put into a pair, there will be a mascot, fanclubs, fan meets, tours, light sticks, y todo.

Someone wrote a good post, which I cannot find now, about the idolifacation of GMMTV actors, and it's accurate. These aren't only actors. They must sing. They must dance. They must host Live House. They must participate in Safe House. They must have a vlog and do live streams every week. They must go on GMMTV's little outing events and have a spin-off show where they travel around with their paired partner and eat food or drink some cocktail or do something because Lord forbid these people do nothing.

And this isn't just a GMMTV thing, but only GMMTV does it on this scale, so what's the deal with GMMTV is that it is a company doing company stuff.

I'm sure others can chime in and give more in-depth points, but I'm exhausted even thinking about it!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Barrister Law USA on Twitter has said the Harkles are living apart. We may be advised to take every post by accounts online ‘with a grain of salt’ but when multiple blogs and accounts are posting the same thing, something must be going on.

Barrister Law is not credible. They’re a lawyer in the southern US who has a medical emergency every time they get called out or challenged by the twitterati. Someone who can’t handle the heat isn’t someone who has trustworthy gossip.

But a broken clock is right twice a day.

And, do you know why we always say “take with salt” when it comes to internet gossip? Because it’s all anonymous sources that cannot be verified from anonymous accounts that cannot be authenticated. We have no idea if everyone is using the same sources. We have no idea if people are making things up. We have no idea if the sources are legitimate or if they have a grudge or if they have actual connections or if there’s bias involved.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again: Just because multiple accounts and blogs are talking about the same thing, it doesn’t mean it’s actually happening. All it means is that those accounts and those blogs are in the same echo chamber and share many of the same users/visitors. That’s why it’s important to diversify where you get your news (or gossip) from, so you get out of that echo chamber so you can see what is really happening.

So for me, when I see the same stories on my spectrum of websites, that tells me something is brewing - because I know liberal publications and bloggers absolutely do not have the same sources as conservative publications and bloggers.

For the record, since many are asking:

CDAN and Enty do completely make things up themselves but they do have good connections to Hollywood PR

DeuxMoi also makes things up and has gone on the record saying they make things up. Not trustworthy at all.

Exposing SMG takes gossip and analysis from other blogs and websites and repackages it as their own.

I do believe that Lady C has sometimes-knowledgeable sources but she keeps moving the goalposts for The Big Sussex Takedown so her accuracy is doubtful. I think she makes some things bigger to keep her audience and viewers engaged.

BarkJack/TLF has bonafide journalism credentials but I doubt their sources are still in the know because everything they take credit for happened years ago and their scoops are so vague (to protect their sources, as they always claim) because it lets them take credit for everything no matter how it actually happens.

Astrology and tarot is all subjective based on the reader and the reader’s own biases and I don’t consider their readings to have any authority until after a prediction has come to pass.

But what I do note about astrology and tarot is that when several people on different platforms who I know don’t know each other are saying the same/similar things, that’s worth paying attention to. And so far, that “universal signal” (if you will) has only happened three times: in mid-2017 when many of these began picking up on a new baby for the Cambridges, in 2020 or 2021 (I’ll have to find my notes to double-check specific dates) when those sites noted a pregnancy loss for the Cambridges, and this summer when they were seeing big changes in store for the Sussexes October/November. While these sites are saying different causes (Sussex divorce/separation, the children and LOS issues, the children’s titles, Charles modernizing, Charles dying, Sussexes returning) they’re all citing October/November timeframe. That’s worth paying attention to, IMO.

I don’t watch any of the royal YouTubers so I can’t comment on any of them.

Reddit is kinda a crapshoot. It’s hit or miss. SMM gets good gossip but the channel and most of its commentariat have huge angry biases against the Sussexes so I always question how much of it is real and how much of it is exaggerated for engagement. The Royal Gossip sub is fairer but they also cover all royals everywhere and sometimes you may have to dig.

Quora is definitely a crapshoot. Christopher Jones/Jackson/Johnson (I forget his last name) started out credible but lately seems to be more fantastist and I’m not sure that he’s as credible or believable any more.

[scaryspears]

MKX's Kung Lao an essay

Notes: I originally wrote this in youtube comment section and decided to post it here. Watch Cynical Warlock's Rewriting Kung Lao video, its super interesting.

Kung Lao seemed pretty badass in MKX, and I'm talking about the old man version that's not seen in the storymode. I first interpreted MKX version of Lao appeared more humble and secure, no longer needing to prove himself as Liu Kang's equal. He even gave me the impression that he could be a mentor figure, appearance wise, whereas Old Liu Kang didn't give me that same vibe. Also, Kung Lao has a special hat that he uses as a weapon... How does he not outshine Liu Kang?

We do see his hat origin in MK1, so we can assume that it's similar to the past timelines on why he uses it. With that being said, he's great at coming up with random weapons, and very effective ones too. In another timeline he might be a weapons specialist, maybe even a maker. He even has another version of the hat that looks like daggers have been glued onto it, which we see in the game (I think it was a variant), and that might have been his first hat before he made a perfected version.

I think if MKX had better writing, then Kung Lao could've been brought back from the dead (like Sub Zero, Scorpion & Jax) and become another mentor figure to the combat kids instead of just being another yes man revenant who obey's revenant Liu Kang.

Both Liu Kang and Kung Lao were playable in MKX, they could've at least brought one of them back. Since they made Liu Kang king of the Neatherrealm, it would have to be Kung Lao.

Just as Sub Zero has a sort of friendship with Johnny, Kung Lao could be the same, separating him from Liu Kang on who they keep close to them. Personality wise, he's less harsh and strict than Liu Kang, and is more friendly, so I can picture him and Johnny having a friendship.

He can teach the combat kids that weapons can be formed from anything, basically ensuring that no one becomes a copy paste of their parents (Cassie & Jacqui), and has something unique about them, like having knives in their shoes and doing capoeira to cut the opponent or something (idk).

Just like Johnny, he isn't treated or spoken to very nicely by Sonya and some others because they keep mistaking his current self to his past self. He doesn't like it when people do this (I certainly wouldn't), but he is mostly civil with cutting remarks every now and then. Think of it as visiting a toxic family you've been in low contact with, and they occasionally make jokes and jabs about you copying your golden child sibling, and how you'll never be like them or escape their shadow. Even though you stand up for yourself, you're still seen as being bitter and jealous.

Another reason why I think Johnny and Kung Lao have a shot at friendship is because Johnny doesn't mention Liu Kang once, or anything linked to the past, or even his personality. Kung Lao is also said to "smile too much" according to Ferra, meaning he has a tendency to smile when he's about to face off with an opponent. Remind you of someone we know?

Here's how he can be introduced: The combat kids have a mission, however, the combat kids cannot go with weapons, at least weapons that are seen. In this au Johnny is with the Wu Shi instead of the Special Forces (as seen in my Havik post), so he sends the combat kids (mainly Cassie and Jacqui) to meet Kung Lao. The combat kids find out that Kung Lao, while still maintaining his teachings, has left the Shaolin and works as a weapons maker in some random town or city in China, and lives in solitude (a metaphor for no longer seeking the validation of others). Instead of giving the weapons straight up, he tests every single one of them. He ends up letting them have the weapons of course, and watches them go on their day.

MK11 made him so cocky to the point he was a Johnny Cage clone, and Kung Lao never struck me as the cocky type during MK9. It was actually Liu Kang that came off as egotistical to me, and the fact that he rebels against Raiden kind of proves that. Liu Kang went against a literal god. There's even an ending that shows he will be corrupt if he replaced Raiden. Earthrealm's champion, ladies and gentlemen.

I never viewed Kung Lao as cocky, so his MK11 version was a complete 180, and the fact that NRS continued that into MK1 disappointed me. Kung Lao is impulsive, but not always. He is capable of being reserved and calculating. While Kung Lao is also quite ruthless, Liu Kang is the hot headed one that refuses to listen to reason at times.

People make all kinds of jokes about Kung Lao and him getting his neck snapped, when Shao Kahn went about it cowardly. I'll elaborate by saying Shao Kahn snuck up on him, it wasn't face to face. In the words of Kendrick Lamar, "when I catch flight, it's gon' be direct". Shao Kahn is Drake in this situation, sneak dissing. When people make fun of Kung Lao's neck snap they're technically meat riding Shao Kahn.

[probablyasocialecologist]

To bring about its hypothetical future, OpenAI must build a new digital ecosystem, pushing users toward the ChatGPT app or toward preëxisting products that integrate its technology such as Bing, the search engine run by OpenAI’s major investor, Microsoft. Google, by contrast, already controls the technology that undergirds many of our online experiences, from search and e-mail to Android smartphone-operating systems. At its conference, the company showed how it plans to make A.I. central to all of the above. Some Google searches now yield A.I.-generated “Overview” summaries, which appear in tinted boxes above any links to external Web sites. Liz Reid, Google’s head of search, described the generated results with the ominously tautological tagline “Google will do the Googling for you.” (The company envisions that you will rely on the same search mechanism to trawl your own digital archive, using its Gemini assistant to, say, pull up photos of your child swimming over the years or summarize e-mail threads in your in-box.) Nilay Patel, the editor-in-chief of the tech publication the Verge, has been using the phrase “Google Zero” to describe the point at which Google will stop driving any traffic to external Web sites and answer every query on its own with A.I. The recent presentations made clear that such a point is rapidly approaching. One of Google’s demonstrations showed a user asking the A.I. a question about a YouTube video on pickleball: “What is the two-bounce rule?” The A.I. then extracted the answer from the footage and displayed the answer in writing, thus allowing the user to avoid watching either the video or any advertising that would have provided revenue to its creator. When I Google “how to decorate a bathroom with no windows” (my personal litmus test for A.I. creativity), I am now presented with an Overview that looks a lot like an authoritative blog post, theoretically obviating my need to interact directly with any content authored by a human being. Google Search was once seen as the best path for getting to what’s on the Web. Now, ironically, its goal is to avoid sending us anywhere. The only way to use the search function without seeing A.I.-generated content is to click a small “More” tab and select “Web” search. Then Google will do what it was always supposed to do: crawl the Internet looking for URLs that are relevant to your queries, and then display them to you. The Internet is still out there, it’s just increasingly hard to find. If A.I. is to be our primary guide to the world’s information, if it is to be our 24/7 assistant-librarian-companion as the tech companies propose, then it must constantly be adding new information to its data sets. That information cannot be generated by A.I., because A.I. tools are not capable of even one iota of original thought or analysis, nor can they report live from the field. (An information model that is continuously updated, using human labor, to inform us about what’s going on right now—we might call it a newspaper.) For a decade or more, social media was a great way to motivate billions of human beings to constantly upload new information to the Internet. Users were driven by the possibilities of fame and profit and mundane connection. Many media companies were motivated by the possibility of selling digital ads, often with Google itself as a middle man. In the A.I. era, in which Google can simply digest a segment of your post or video and serve it up to a viewer, perhaps not even acknowledging you as the original author, those incentives for creating and sharing disappear. In other words, Google and OpenAI seem poised to cause the erosion of the very ecosystem their tools depend on.

[eternalera]

discussing project 2025 and how it will most likely NOT affect ao3

tw: p0rn mentions/discussion

ive seen some news in the past few days about something called project 2025 and how it could result in ao3 being taken down because theyre trying to limit pornography and theyre classifying the lgbtq (or trying to) as part of that content.

people are afraid that because of this ao3 might be taken down as a result but here's why it most likely won't and you don't need to worry to much (but should still be cautious just in case). from my reading of the situation theyre mainly focusing on porn sites, porn hub and things like that. theyre started making it so that you have to enter in your drivers ID to prove that you are above the age of 18 so that kids and stuff dont have access to this content.

of course that itself is going to take a while because its a whole damn website, its not just in the US but it's international in itself. the programming and passing the bill will take an extremely long amount of time.

but this bill (or whatever) also violates things such as freedom of speech. writing is a form of speech and you are allowed to write about whatever the hell you want and no one is able to take that away, whether it be online or in real life and believe it or not writing gay fanfiction is a form of speech. especially if youre creating healthy gay relationships and promoting lgbtq content. the government cant just take that away because they classify it as 'porn' when its clearly not.

thats called censorship, limiting what you see so that they can control what you get fed in media and stuff like that. but not only that but if they were to do this then it would also affect sites like twitter, facebook, discord, pinterest, tumblr, literally ANY website where you can make ANY statement this would affect.

and no one is going through with that lets be honest for a second. because at that point its just controlling the internet and whats put out and what isnt. and no one can do that, at least not in america because guess what? YOU HAVE RIGHTS. and i can NOT stress this enough.

the government is NOT allowed to control what media you get fed and what you create. in fact that cant even reasonably define lgbtq stuff as porn because guess what? it wont work. people will riot, they will find a way, and yknow why? BECAUSE ITS NOT PORN.

then again you must be wondering about the explicit fics on ao3 and to that i say what about the explicit stuff on twitter? the bots on tumblr? hell even youtube.

the government cannot control all of this.

and if they were to even try i guarantee that the silly little website known as ao3 will be one of the first not even top five things that they try to target.

they'll target pornhub, youtube, twitter, literally ANYTHING before they get to ao3. and even if they do im more than certain that ao3 will lawyer up and put together a case about why they should stay in tact.

ACTUALLY if they try doing this in the slightest about ANY website that site is likely to fight back.

so while you should stay cautious i dont think any major panic is necessary. in order to take down ao3 the freedom of speech would need to be taken away in an amendment and that is not happening.

so basically, stay cautious but dont be too worried. and if ao3 does get taken down (which it most likely wont) there will probably be a set date where you can download and save everything before then

[zombie-bait]

Omg i just realized I have something tiny to add to the whole James Somerton debacle. I'm currently watching the hbombguy vid (as you do when procrastinating assignments) and I remembered something that stood out to me in James' old videos.

So I used to be a fan of his stuff. I am also a fan of Hannibal and IWTV. He made a video covering both so naturally I was very hyped. It was called 'The Gay Appeal of Toxic Love.' The vid itself was fine (I don't remember having any super strong opinions of it besides being excited to hear ppl mention Interview cuz I had recently become obsessed) but one thing did stand out to me. In the IWTV section he mentions Nicki and, naturally, his death:

"After becoming a vampire, Nicky becomes nearly catatonic, and eventually slips away from Lestat entirely. And after centuries of dealing with depression and severe mental illness, Nicky kills himself."

(sourced from this transcript: https://github.com/TerraJRiley/James_Somerton_Transcripts/blob/main/Transcripts/The%20Gay%20Appeal%20of%20Toxic%20Love.txt)

To anyone who's read TVL, I don't think I need to explain that Nicki had not, in fact, been around for centuries. "Nicki had lived to be 30" has been rattling around in my head since I first read it.

And like, obviously I don't expect every youtube essayist to read several long-ish novels to have a full grasp of the series' deep lore, especially when the focus was largely on IWTV and Loustat rather than the entire Vampire Chronicles. Still, it makes you wonder a bit about the quality of the research being done here. You can find the proper info in like, 5 seconds by just going on the fan wiki so I'm not sure what his sources were. And that's the issue at hand, isn't it?

At the time I felt a tiny bit smug recognizing the error but in light of everything that's been revealed, it's kind of telling. I'm not saying this part was plagiarized (I haven't found anything but others on reddit have found issues with different sections of the same video) but rereading the transcript it comes off as someone who clearly doesn't know much about Interview.... It feels like he's reading through a loose summary of plot points rather than analyzing a piece of media that actually means anything to him. It's very much Interview for people who don't know Interview which, one could argue is fair. Especially beyond book one, VC is a niche series and a lot of elements that are important to certain characters or plot lines cannot be summarized quickly for an audience unfamiliar with it. A good writer, who's done a lot of research about the specific topic they have chosen to make a video on, would be able to balance this. There is a LOT to analyze about queerness in VC and its a shame to see one of the more popular queer media channels half-assing it just to churn out videos heavily made up of other people's work. In retrospect he had several videos like that, where he would discuss things like manga/manhua communities while clearly having little knowledge on the nuance of those subjects. He was an outsider who presented himself with a strange amount of authority.

This was content created with the sole intention of propping up queer stories and history, yet it's built off stolen work from queer authors and doesn't actually care that much about exploring the communities it features. Vids like the IWTV one weren't really fact checked because it's only people like me who would might give a shit or even notice anything is off in the first place. There's a bit of a similar vibe in some of his other vids where he undermines the experiences of queer women because he clearly has not taken the time to learn about the nuances of representing queer women in media. These are things that irritated me when I first started to notice them but I put those concerns in the back of my mind because I cared about the topics he was covering and was excited to see these discussions becoming more mainstream.

The revelations of this evening have been disappointing to say the least.

(also for the record I know he made other more recent vids about IWTV but I haven't seen those and even if his account was still up I don't think I would lol

BUT

I did look at the transcript for his 'Vampires and the Gays Who Love Them' video (found from the same link I included above) and this quote about the IWTV AMC show is sending me: "Daniel has never grappled with the complexities of being gay"

Shoutout to straight, uncomplicated icon Daniel Molloy. Devil's Minion was a mass hallucination, spread the word)

[evanox]

If you joined the fandom some time after Anisa's rewrite like I did, and you've yet to come across (formerly) Nix Hydra's official youtube channel, I cannot recommend enough that you go and watch the playthrough of Anisa's first two chapters. GOD they're just SO delightful; especially if you're interested in Astraea's worldbuilding (or at least a taste of it).

The little details such as the occasional line pointing to Mournfall folk making their living through fishing, or how it's common for mischievous kids to go to the abandoned temple to mess around with magic, or how there are wards implemented by the city during the war 5 years ago to detect and prevent magical disturbances---all of that contributes to breathing so much life into our setting, rather than it just serving the simple purpose of being A Place Where Things Happen.

Not only that, but Anisa's personality shines SO much brighter in this older version. She already surprised me in the old prologue when she pounced at Sage for a hug in the tavern. I know she gives him the cold shoulder in our current version because of the whole betrayal thing, but angst aside, I still couldn't imagine our stiff and uptight Anisa offering either of her friends physical affection (she's just so exasperated with them all the time that it's hard to believe they were friends at any point), so that moment in the older prologue was very endearing to me.

(Also the banter between the three Starsworn is chef's kiss in the older version.)

Anisa pointing out how MC deserves the right to choose a mentor since they had no choice in their predicament is consistent across both prologues, but in the first (old) chapter Anisa chides Felix for not being considerate of the Mournfall townspeople who already suffered enough during the war, and it really drives in the point of how thoughtful and empathetic Anisa is. It also contributes to my point about how the little details in this version breathe life into Astraea---the impact of the war on its citizens is acknowledged; it's not just an event that drives the plot/drives the protagonists' angst.

On top of that, Anisa is very passionate about her job, a total workaholic, and a very curious cat; so much so that she was willing to go investigate the city wards despite being on vacation. For as straightlaced as she may be, she's not above a little mischief, grinning at you when you point out she's going against the orders of her Captain. All of these traits immediately endeared her to me, and they're kind of lost/diminished in the rewrite when her primary motivation for her workaholic tendencies becomes "I need to prove I'm good and pure to distance myself from my evil father's shadow."

Also, Saaros is introduced halfway through chapter 2 so it gives Anisa the chance to breathe and establish herself as a character before she has to share the spotlight w/ a masc-presenting character who'll steal most of the fandom's attention, as is every fictif female LI's curse. Additionally, the elf's introduction is more impactful than that in the rewritten chapter. In the latter, they're first seen complaining about lotions (which establishes that Saaros is someone really picky about their beauty routine), whereas in the old chapter, Saaros is taunting a vendor peddling "spiritual-cleansing" potions (the Astraean equivalent of essential oils only this one's effects are even more dubious). They spill the bottle of potion onto the ground and turn their nose up at Anisa when she asserts her position as a knight, deliver a speech about how Porrimans pretend like they play by the rules while letting charlatans run loose, and then march off. This establishes that Saaros is not someone you can easily fool, and Saaros does not think highly of Porrima or its authority and is not afraid to state their opinion about either. That hints at just how difficult Anisa's spy mission will be, and only at the end of the chapter do we find out this bold elf is Anisa's spy target, assigned to her by Archmage Escell himself.

Now, I'm not saying that Anisa being rewritten to be the LOS daughter is necessarily bad, but God what would I give just to see Dev's vision for Anisa before Lulu came along because it seems SO interesting. Perhaps not as intense as having the main villain as your dad (tbh they kinda ruined it by revealing it from like... the first or second chapter, but that's neither here nor there), but given that Sage and Felix's routes are already packed with angst and secrecy, Anisa's would come as a fresh breath of air---while you have to play therapist for the two male LIs to help them unpack all that baggage, you get to be on equal footing with Anisa and play detectives/spies with her.

It's got the same vibe as what the Arcana team was going for with Portia, only this one's done SO much better. I could never quite put my finger on why I just wasn't feeling Portia's route, but I guess that might have to do with how disconnected she is from everything established by the other routes. Asra, Julian, and Nadia are former friends who plotted together to take down the self-absorbed and useless Count Lucio, and Muriel is Asra's friend whose life was entirely jeopardized by Lucio's tribe first and then Lucio himself second. Portia is Julian's sister who arrived in Vesuvia not too long ago and she's not really friends with any of these characters (besides maybe the romance she gets with Nadia in Julian's route), nor is she really affected by Lucio so the route gives her an entirely different villain to defeat. In a way, it has become its own story without space to grow as a story should because of the chapter limit. The other routes get away with the chapter limitation because they all complement each other--telling the same story from different perspectives.

That's not really the cause for Anisa because she is at the heart of the conflict as one of the three last surviving Starsworn, suffered in the war as they did and is very empathetic towards the people affected by it. Her lower social status makes it harder for her to climb up the ranks until Escell himself offers to sponsor her if she'll spy on Saaros for him. So, even without the LOS relationship, Anisa is very well-entangled in the plot to make her route relevant and engaging.

It's a shame there are only 2 chapters out and you can only see the choices that the person recording chose, but also it seems like this was recorded at a time when the chapter wasn't even completed because honey what is THIS

[friendly-neighborhood-furry]

sometimes the state of the world makes me want to go outside and scream as loud as i can for help. sometimes it makes me want to crawl deep into a hole and never come back out again. sometimes it makes me want to fall to my knees and sob uncontrollably. sometimes it seems so hopeless that i cant see any better alternative other than just disappearing.

so much evil and destruction and suffering-- and for what?

what is it all for?

for the latest popular billionare to take a 13 minute flight? for the newest remake of a movie that changed my life to get turned into mindless sludge? for a never-before-seen species of animal to be discovered, then pronounced extinct the very next week? for millions of people to go broke for having cancer?

i tell my mother that i wont be able to afford a house. she says "no, you will." i tell my counselor that my government wants to kill me. she says "that's not true." i tell my teachers i don't see a point in doing well in school because i wont be able to get a job anyway, even if i have a college degree. they tell me "no, you'll get a job. school is still important." i email my senators begging them to stop funding the genocide in Palestine. i get a copy-pasted email back with a history lesson about why that wont happen. one million people died from COVID last Christmas and i'm the only one at my school still wearing a mask. my future as an artist was ripped from my hands in less than two years and pretty soon i wont be able to share anything about my art at all. i'm half mexican, but everybody says i'm "too white" to be a "real mexican". its been four years and i'm nowhere closer to understanding my gender identity than i was at the start. tumblr has been my only safe space for three years and now that KOSA might pass this week, where will i go?

and all the while, through all of this conflict-- people are still falling in love for the first time and rescuing kittens off the street and watching their children take their first steps and getting married and making fun little indie games and building elaborate cosplays of their favorite character and making the most heart-touchingly beautiful pieces of art you've ever seen and meeting lifelong friends and cooking amazingly delicious food and playing children's games and weaving baskets from pine needles and taking care of livestock and collecting little knick-knacks and having the best day of their lives and writing their first line of code and learning to play instruments and hatching baby birds and posting a 100K word thesis about a show they really like and uploading song covers for 19 people on Youtube to listen to and pushing the boundaries of what science can accomplish and discussing moral philosophies in the comment section of a Reddit post and feeling truly seen in the eyes of another human being for the first time in their lives and growing old surrounded by the people they love.

the future is uncertain, but the world will go on. the winds will still blow and the tides will still flow. people will continue to find joy in this hell and fight for it with everything they have.

so don't give up.

"don't give up," i tell myself.

"don't give up," i tell you.

"don't give up," i scream into the sky.

there is always something to keep going for. if you cannot find it in yourself, find it in others. find it in the people in your life and the people you see online. find it in the good of humanity you know to exist.

find it. keep fighting. don't give up.

[local-philocalist]

Entry to your 20s, advice to the 20-year-old women

Four pieces of advice for the twenty-year-old women from a twenty-something year old woman.

1. Move Your Body

I cannot stress this enough, if you can, please move your body! Move your joints and build your muscles. The doctors, scientists and our parents were unfortunately right, the older one becomes, the weaker they get. If you want to still be able to run around in your fifties, sixties, etc. You need to start the habit now. Get a routine, start working out, try a sport, attempt a dance class, and get active in general.

I’ve recently gotten a gym membership and have begun pilates once or twice a week. Although at first, my muscles were burning, my body soon got used to it and I found my stamina and flexibility improving.

However, you don't need to spend money on a gym membership or Pilates to get fit. You can take a run around your local park, start a sports team with your friends, or try a YouTube workout from the comfort of your home. There are so many different ways to stay fit without emptying your pockets.

2. Eat Your Vegetables

I understand that some people are genuinely picky eaters and their parents never took the initiative to introduce different textures and flavours healthily. Thus this has followed into adulthood and are now unable to eat anything outside the same four meals.

I also understand I cannot say too much as someone who can eat almost anything but as a reformed vegetable hater I do have a little bit to offer. To live a long, healthy life vegetables are a necessity. So if you find yourself unable to eat certain vegetables, I would suggest cooking the vegetables differently, or incorporating ingredients you enjoy in your meals, think outside the box!

There are many articles about breaking picky eating, as adults we should try to expand our tastebuds, there's so much food to enjoy in this life. Nobody likes to be the person ordering chicken fingers at a Michelin restaurant.

3. Feed Your Brain

[edited: the previous paragraph has been published on my personal substack as a full piece; I've rewritten and changed this section for publication and privacy purposes].

I urge young women to nurture their brains; you are so blessed to be in a society and world where education is so accessible for women. If you live in the West, take advantage and don't feed into the propaganda of "I'm just a girl". Women are being minimised, and I don't want young ladies falling down the rabbit hole of this recent no-purpose lifestyle that's advertised.

Looks are essential, and don't get me wrong, I know attraction still plays a huge part in society, but it isn't the only important thing. It's not cute to be ignorant, lack life skills and use social media concepts like "I'm just a girl" as excuses. Stupidity isn't hot, so while it's okay to indulge in media consumption, find yourself hobbies outside of that and put in the effort to grow intellectually and further yourself.

4. High Self-esteem Will Protect You

Most of my girlfriends are in the dating field, and from the stories they tell me its clear these men are crazy. Good discernment is needed and for you to trust your discernment you need a healthy level of self-worth.

I’m not just talking about romantic interest, in general, high self-esteem will take you far in life. From romantic partners to career paths, when you know your value and do not settle, that translates to every crevice of your life. People treat you with more respect, you're likely to find yourself in fewer abusive scenarios and get better opportunities in your place of work.

Nothing good comes from beating yourself down and letting others treat you horribly. Overall your twenties can be fun but also filled with anxiety so take it step-by-step, don't beat yourself up and remember comparison is the thief.