#if it's only three days I think I'll survive
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Attack duration: The longest attacks in 2022 ranged between 100 and 250Gbps on a global basis, where on average the attacks lasted 66 hours or 2.75 days.
...so, yeah. Does anyone know how credible Radware is?
#radware#I need to go to bed#hacking#ao3#ao3 down#if it's only three days I think I'll survive#*she says through gritted teeth*
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and we go right back at it !!
#just me hi#redoing the refs i Did last finish for ats+artfight because there were some parts i didn't like and i want to add little bonus outfits :D#//btw do NOT drink a lot of liquids if you don't like the Repercussions. they're. Repercussing#i have had a lot of tea today and ououuhrrghhhhhhhh [<- dying dramatically]#//also i keep tweaking character designs lmao--#oath + aura's last refs are pretty much up to date but kira + hid's are old compared to that and will just Not do hhfhsv#/OUh just sneezed so hard rn#//oh it may not be clear but i'm not up at 3 a.m. hfsh#Yet#it only turned twelve some something minutes ago so we survive for now :3👍#//YE but i gotta get on it now if i wanna be anywhere by tomorrow lol-#i think i'll watch the tomorrow people while i do that#i found the other day it has three seasons?? here i am thinking 'i'm almost done :)' Dude... hfbvsh#it Is interesting though i like it for that :3 really good for my background watching lol#the Saint is great and i haven't finished that either but it was getting stale and i would like to enjoy it hfhs#//anywho off and about now#toodles :3
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I saw there are a lot of forest fire in chile right now. are you gonna be okay?
Three days after the fact, yeah, I'll be fine, personally and physically, but it's dire, I'm not going to lie. I've never seen so much fire in my life. When you think about a big fire, your impression might be two or three buildings on fire with some firefighter trucks spraying water at it. This was kilometers upon kilometers of raging blazes. Kilometers. Heads up if you are sensitive to these kinds of posts, this isn't a happy one.
Entire hills on fire. Lush green hills reduced to ash and smoke.
Not to mention the urban parts that got hit badly
The official death toll keeps increasing each passing hour as they clear up the rubble and ruins and find more corpses. People I know lost everything. Some people I know lost their loved ones. Dogs are eating corpses on the street because they haven't picked them up yet, so you have neighbors warding off said dogs. Bodies get picked up too badly burned, eaten, decomposed, or a mix thereof to be identified.
It's a tragedy. It all reeks of smoke, there's ash everywhere.
It was sudden, it was brutal. Seeing elderly survivors wondering "what's next for me? I don't have enough years left among the living to rebuild all I lost, all I worked for throughout my life, gone like that" breaks my heart. The government is offering all sorts of aid, but there's also people whose documents, like ID and other identifying documentation, was lost in the fire, so they have to get re-issued an ID before they can actually start filing for aid. The SML (Servicio Médico Legal) is oversaturated with all that's suddenly on their plate and can't return the bodies of people to their families yet, and these are all people that still need food, shelter, hygiene, and so on after the fact. Seeing the logistical nightmare that becomes life after you lose everything firsthand from other people is sobering and painful. Yeah, they survived, but what comes next? It's a sense of uncertainty that is smothering and asphyxiating, it's hopelessness.
I apologize if I come across as dramatic, especially so as someone who was luckily not affected, but it really, really has been heartbreaking to witness, especially from very up close, as I was there, and it's one thing to know of a tragedy that happened elsewhere, maybe even in your own country, but elsewhere, and it's a whole other beast to have seen it directly as it unfolded.
Keep Chile in your thoughts. If you are able to, please consider donating to Desafío Levantemos Chile, to my knowledge the only drive that accepts Paypal, thus, foreign donations, to help the various efforts to rebuild and aid those affected. Desafío Levantemos Chile dates back to 2010, when Chile got hit by a devastating earthquake, and is an NGO that bases its continued existence in being able to provide aid during catastrophes such as this one.
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Rule Breaker - Pt 1
max verstappen x single mom!reader
{next}
face claim: none, random pinterest find warnings: cursing, max is broody, jos is an asshole, fluff, barely proofread, idk red bull team aside from Max, Checo, and Horner... (y/n's bestie is named after my irl bestie bc she told me to write this, and y/n's son is not named after Magnussen i swear) Summary: Max has it all...right? Besides, he's too busy collecting trophies and completing side quests for anything else. Until... You moved across a whole ass ocean to start over, uprooting you and your son's lives to become social media admin for cars that drive in circles. word count: 4293 auth.note: hiii new to writing for f1 so I'm posting this in the middle of the night and hiding in bed - feedback greatly appreciated. also this is forbidden love/he falls first/friends to enemies to lovers
"Hey Max, come meet the new social media admin."
On his way out, he barely heard the words. But they registered and he immediately turned, knowing how important it was to have a good rapport with the social media personnel. He only had to meet them, then he could leave and go to the team apartment and… He didn't know. Pass time in his sim until he couldn't hold his eyes open. Maybe he'd go for a run until he was close to exhaustion. Or see if Lando was in the country and they could go out together. It was only when he was about to pass out that he was able to sleep and not be plagued with dreams.
His eyes swept the small office, swiveling to focus on the new face. She smiled, giving him a little wave as she set down her slice of pizza.
"Max, this is y/n. Y/n, this is Max."
"Hello," he said, watching as she wiped her mouth with a napkin.
"Hi, sorry." She took a sip of her drink and wiped her mouth again. "Sorry – It's so great to meet you."
She was American. Walking over, he extended his hand. "Where are you from?"
Shaking his hand, she smiled up at him. "Well most recently I was with—"
"No, no, where in America," he corrected.
"Oh! North Carolina. I try to keep the country accent to a minimum but sometimes I slip up." She motioned to the pizza box on the desk. "You want a slice?"
No, he had to leave. His work was done, he didn't need to hang around and kill his precious down time. Besides, his diet was strict for the next few days, what with the race coming up. He had to focus on… Within fifteen seconds he was sitting across from her, holding a slice in one hand. One slice wouldn't hurt, he decided as he took a bite. "How long have you been in England?"
"About three weeks?" She glanced at her watch and nodded. "Three weeks tomorrow. I was staying at an Airbnb until a week ago when I moved into my apartment."
He nodded. "Are you going to be based here or go to the races?"
"Races. Gonna be living the glamorous life of travel and hotels and surviving on caffeine and sugar," she said with a roll of her eyes.
"It's not so bad."
"I'm sure I'll get used to it. You've been doing it for, what, half your life now?"
Shrugging, he took a sip of his water. "More than that, really. Are you saying you don't travel?"
"Not like this. I lucked out with my last job because I was able to do it mostly from home. I think I went up to New York or out to Cali maybe six times total? But I know I can do it," she added when his eyebrows lifted. "It'll just take a little getting used to, especially with a little one in tow a lot of the time."
That surprised him. His eyes immediately moved to her hands, which were completely bare of rings. "A little one?"
Y/n nodded, her eyes lighting. "He's three."
"What's his name?" Max asked. It was none of his business about the boy's father, anyway, so he wasn't going to ask about him. And he didn't even care.
"Kevin." Her smile was both shy and sparkling.
His chest tightened. Kevin, he knew, was one of the most loved children in the world. "What's he like?" The words came out and only after saying them he realized he wanted to know.
"He's… He's Kevin." She laughed. "He asks a million questions and will talk to anyone about anything. He's high energy but has laser focus when it's something that interests him – Like the other day I took him to the park. I expected him to be running around and trying out all the swings and stuff, but he spent an hour crawling in the grass following a caterpillar."
"Laser focus can be good at times," Max told her, earning a warm smile.
"I know. He comes by it honest because I do the same thing when I'm working."
"Will you be bringing him to the races?" Finished with his pizza, he shook his head when she nudged the box towards him and sat back to finish his water.
"Yeah. Not all of them, but to the next few. I already talked to Mr. Horner and Wanda about it," she said quickly, as though expecting him to be upset about her bringing her child to work. "He won't be in the way. My best friend – Ellie, she's his godmother – is traveling with me to Imola and Monaco to watch him for me. But her new job starts the first of June so I have to make arrangements before then."
"Does he like racing?"
"He's three," she deadpanned. "He loves anything with cars or trucks."
"You'll have to bring him to the track—"
"He also loves fart jokes and bugs."
Max blinked at her, snorting on a laugh when she grinned at him. "Fair enough."
"I do have to warn you, though," she said carefully, standing to gather the napkins and throw them into the trash. Closing the pizza box, she used a clean napkin to wipe off the desk. "He likes McLaren."
"It's the orange livery isn't it?" Max sighed. When she nodded, he shrugged. "I'll do my best to not hate him."
She giggled, letting out a snort.
And, for the first time in six months, Max felt lighter.
*-*
"There's my lil doodle bug," Viv cooed as Kevin leapt off the couch and ran towards her. Dropping her purse and work bag, she scooped him into a hug. "Hi sweetheart. How was your day, hm?"
Her son grinned, squeezing her tight. "I fell in poop!"
Viv froze for two seconds and leaned back a little. "What kind of poop?"
"Dog. Yes, it was fresh. Yes, he had a bath. Yes, I washed his clothes," Ellie announced as she came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "Your dinner's almost done – How was work?"
Viv kissed her son's cheek and set him down so she could pick up her bags. "I spent the day reading protocols and policies and signing contracts. Oh, and getting my uniform."
Ellie took the knapsack stuffed with team shirts and jackets. "Good thing you love blue huh?"
"No kidding." She glanced over to Kevin, who had climbed back onto the couch and resumed lining his hot wheels along the back. "How was he today?"
"He was fine. You worry too much, mama," Ellie said gently, following y/n to her bedroom. Setting the knapsack down, she took the work bag and reached inside to switch off y/n's work phone. "Ah, ah, you're off now. You don't officially start work until Monday, so they can't expect you to be on call."
"Yes ma'am." Y/n held her hands up in surrender. "I'm gonna change and get him tucked in then I'll eat, promise."
"Perfect. Bridgerton tonight?" Ellie asked on her way out the door.
"You know it!" y/n called after her.
Once she'd changed into sweats and an old t-shirt she went to the living room. "C'mon, doodle bug," she said softly, smiling when Kevin slid off the couch without hesitation. She helped him pack his cars into their cubby, telling him about her boring day at work while she led him to the bathroom so he could brush his teeth. Then to her bedroom, wishing she had been able to afford a larger apartment so he could have his own space. But he didn't seem to mind, and more often than not he ended up crawling into her bed during the night. Something she treasured, because she knew that all too soon he would be "too big" to share a bed with his mama.
Three storybooks and a rambling made up tale about a one-eyed dragon and the princess that saved him from the evil knight later, she pressed a kiss to his cheek and turned off the light. "Good night, sweetheart. Sweet dreams," she whispered before she left the room.
"So I met Max Verstappen today," she told Ellie a few minutes later while fixing her drink.
"Ooo Mr Tu Tu Du Du himself?"
Y/n snorted. "Yeah, that one." The chicken alfredo with a side of broccoli looked so much more appetizing than the greasy pizza she'd had for a late lunch, and she almost felt like she'd cheated on her best friend for ordering takeout.
"What's he like?" Ellie asked, scooping a little more sauce over the noodles.
"He's nice."
"Just nice?"
"I mean, he asked me surface level questions and laughed at my lame jokes? Yeah, nice." Y/n pulled her plate away before Ellie could push more food onto it and sat down to eat. "Everyone's been so nice, Ellie…"
Her friend squeezed her shoulder. "I'm so glad. I have good news, too."
Y/n lifted her eyebrows, unable to speak because her mouth was full.
Ellie sat down, smiling brightly. "I spoke to HR today and Kev will be able to use the daycare."
Gulping down her mouthful of food, y/n gasped. "Oh that's great!" she cried, feeling the weight of worry that had been plaguing her for three weeks lift. "They're sure?"
"Yep, you just have to come in with me before the first and sign a document giving me permission to take him from the premises."
"Excellent, we can go in the morning? I have to go in after lunch to get my kit. Camera, laptop, all that. And Wanda told me to get more shirts so I don't have to worry about laundry while on the road – Oh and I'll be getting our passes."
"Kevin is so excited about Italy. He wants to see the leaning tower of pizza."
"Bless his heart, maybe I can take him one day."
Plans made, she finished her late dinner and did the washing up then changed into her pajamas before settling on the couch to watch Bridgerton. They were rewatching the series so she didn't feel guilty about scrolling her social media, finally biting the bullet and following all of the RedBull people she knew from headquarters.
"You are the bane of my existence… and the object of all my desires."
"Ugh," Y/N and Ellie whined in unison.
"So much nicer than you've had me hard since we met," y/n muttered.
"Let's be real, practically anything is better than that," Ellie agreed.
They finished the episode and y/n headed to bed, keeping as quietly as possible even though she knew her son could sleep through anything. Digging her work phone from her bag, she powered it on to check for any missed messages, smiling slightly when she saw Max had added her on WhatsApp. Adding him back, she was about to turn the phone off again when a new message popped up.
👋🏻
Rolling her eyes, she replied with the same emoji and waited a few seconds before plugging the phone in and turning on do not disturb. She wasn't going to have a late night chat with Max Verstappen of all people. He was probably just being nice, she told herself as she brushed her teeth and did her skincare. Wanda had told her that Max added everyone but rarely messaged anyone aside from Mr. Horner or the engineers.
Besides, she wasn't there to make friends, she reminded herself as she climbed into bed. She could be friendly, but she was there to do a job.
And no flirting with him either, she thought, immediately wondering why the idea had popped into her mind. She would never – okay, she might, if unintentionally. She knew it was a protective thing, knew it was because she had the undesirable need to have everyone like her. But she couldn't do it. Not with him, especially. He'd probably laugh in her face. He was younger than her and probably had a never ending line of gorgeous women waiting to please him.
Before she switched off the lamp she glanced over at her sleeping son. A living, breathing, very real reminder of what she'd gone through just four years ago. And she knew she couldn't go through that again. She wasn't strong enough. She refused to endure that torture and heartache. Kevin needed her, so she had to be strong for him.
Not to mention there was a no hanky-panky clause in her contract?
She had barely closed her eyes when she heard his toddler bed creak. Lying there, she listened to his feet whispering against the rug, smiling in the dark when he slowly slid the covers back.
"Mama," he whispered, and she reached for him. He snuggled close, tucking his head under her chin as she pulled the covers over them.
"Love you, sweetheart," she murmured, pressing a kiss into his hair.
"Love you, Mama."
*-*
"I think it's good, yeah," Max said, eyes scanning the screens of data from the upgrades. "It'll be great for turn seven." Nodding, he listened to the engineers as they went over potential upgrades for Monaco. Once the meeting was finished he grabbed his water bottle and left the room, ignoring the almost immediate phone call from his father. He knew it was his dad without checking, and strode down the hall, intent on leaving and heading straight for the airport to go home. Where he could ignore everything and everyone until Sunday when it was time to fly to Italy.
Rounding the corner, he lurched to a stop as a small child darted in front of him, his giggles echoing down the corridor. The little boy stopped and looked up at Max, blinking slowly.
"Hi!" He waved.
"Hello." Max heard rapid footsteps and glanced up to see y/n iquickly approaching.
"Kevin Scott—"
"I've got him," Max told her with a quick wave, squatting down to the boy's level. "So you're Kevin?"
The boy nodded, light blonde curls bouncing on his head. "I'm Kevin. That's Mama."
"I'm Max. I heard a lot about you."
Kevin's eyes widened. "You know Mama?"
"About this much." Max held his thumb and index finger barely a centimeter apart. He quickly looked to y/n, who was walking up behind Kevin. "I work with her."
"Ohh… She's gonna take me to see cars. D'you like cars Mister Max?" he asked seriously. As though cars were the most important thing in the universe.
"More than I like myself some days," Max quipped, reaching to check the miniature car the boy was holding in his hand. "I drive one like this."
Kevin gasped. "Do you got it here?"
Max chuckled. "We have a lot. Do you want to see them?"
"Please," the boy said, and Max couldn't have said no under any circumstances.
"You have to ask your mum," he said gently. "And maybe say sorry for running away from her?"
Kevin immediately turned to his mother. "Mama I sorry. Can Mister Max take me to cars?"
She sighed, squatting down to fix his shorts. "We've gotta be more careful, sweetheart. And yes, Mister Max can take us to see the cars."
Kevin spun to face Max again. "She said yes!"
Grinning, Max nodded and stood.
"Thank you," y/n said softly. "I'm sor—"
"He's three, yeah?" Max reached to place his hand on the boy's head, gently guiding him closer when he started to wander off. "Don't apologize for him being a child."
She tipped her head at that, then nodded, grabbing hold of Kevin's hand as Max turned to lead them back down the hallway he'd just left. "I only came by to get my kit, and his aunt had paperwork at her new workplace to finish up, so I had to bring him."
"I'm glad you did." Max gave her a gentle smile, using his card to open the door leading to the back of headquarters. "Have you been back here?"
"Only on my tour the other day."
"Just stick with me," he said. They wouldn't be entering the engineer or design areas, only taking the corridor to the garage. Otherwise they'd have to travel all the way to the main entrance and walk around to the back, which would be tedious for her son.
"I'm under contract and signed an NDA, and it's not like I'd know where to go to sell team secrets," she told him. "And I wouldn't even know what I overheard."
"Not a car fan?" he asked, accepting the model car Kevin was shoving at him. Slipping it into his pocket, he guided them along the curving corridor.
"Eh… Kinda? I like racing. I don't understand all the mechanics to it, I just like the adrenaline of watching twenty guys drive really fast. And I can admire good craftsmanship, like a Bugatti or a McLaren, ya know?"
"What do you drive?" Max asked, using his card to open the door to the garage. Met with the faint aroma of rubber and asphalt, he inhaled deeply, catching with it a lighter, more pleasant scent.
"Nothing at the moment. I've been taking an Uber to and from the apartment," she explained. "I'll probably get a used car after my first paycheck."
Max furrowed his brows, stopping on the catwalk. "You haven't gotten paid yet?"
"No? Well, only my signing bonus, and that's gone to household necessities like rent and food. It's fine, Max, I don't need a car right now."
What are you going to do, give her one of yours? he thought, reaching to Kevin and lifting the boy to his hip so he could carry him down the stairs to the main level. Kevin was already oohing and aahing over the neat rows of cars. "It's just me, Brandon," he called, seeing the member of the security team at the other end of the garage. "A quick tour for a new friend, yeah?"
Brandon waved and disappeared around the corner.
At the bottom of the stairs, Max set Kevin down, ushering him to the nearest car. The boy's excitement was contagious, and Max gleefully told him about each one that he'd driven, helping the boy climb into each and press buttons on the steering wheel. Laughing when Kevin made racecar noises, he pulled out his phone to pull up some videos for sound effects. Swiping away the notifications from his dad, he turned up the volume so the engine sounds echoed in the garage, enjoying Kevin's childish glee.
"This one you know," he said, guiding him to the most recent addition. Lifting him into the seat, he squatted down. "This is a car I drove last year, which—" He pulled the model car from his pocket and set it on top of the steering column. "—is just like the one you have."
"Wow." Kevin looked at him with pure awe. "Did you win?"
"I did. And I won the championship too."
"You're a champ-een, Mister Max?" the boy gasped.
"I am."
"Like Lightning McQueen?"
"You could say that," he chuckled, affectionately ruffling the boy's curls. Glancing over at y/n, he paused when he saw she was holding up her phone.
She peered at him over the top. "Is it okay to take pictures?"
"Of course." He had a feeling she'd already taken dozens. He stepped out of the way so she could get photos of Kevin in the car, then lifted him out once she tucked her phone away. "Have you seen the trophies?"
"No. Can we see 'em, Mister Max? Please?"
"You have to ask your mum." Turning, he sent y/n a pleading look as Kevin asked permission.
"As long as Mister Max doesn't mind," she said, rolling her eyes when Kevin squealed yay.
"It's a long walk, do you want me to carry you?"
Kevin squirmed, wriggling so he was piggybacking. "Thank you Mister Max."
His chest tightened, and he reached to adjust the boy's legs around his middle. "You're welcome, Kevin. We do have to make a stop on the way to the trophy case, though."
Next to him, y/n cleared her throat. "I can take him if you've got something to do."
"No, it's fine, a quick stop," Max assured her, motioning for her to go up the stairs first.
"A pit stop?" Kevin asked, giggling as Max jogged up the steps.
"Exactly that. No more than ten seconds," he promised.
Fifteen minutes later, he was squatting down to fix the collar of Kevin's new shirt. "There you go, mate. What do you think?"
Kevin grinned and gave him a thumb's up.
Max looked up at y/n, who rolled her eyes. "He has to be Team Red Bull," he explained with a shrug, adjusting Kevin's new cap with a grin. Thanking the merch manager, he handed over the bag of goodies he'd grabbed and motioned for Kevin to climb onto his back.
"Thank you!" Kevin called, waving enthusiastically as he was carried out.
"Thank you, Max," y/n murmured while they walked towards reception. "But please don't get him anything else."
"I won't," he said softly. "If I overstepped—"
"No, no, it's fine. He'll wear the shirts until they're too small and he'll play with the models until they fall apart. I just don't want him to think he'll get this type of treatment all the time."
"I understand." He nodded. She didn't want her son to be spoiled. Which he found admirable. "…So giving him one of my old cars is out of the question?"
She halted, jaw dropping. "Max!"
"A joke!" he promised, flashing her a grin as he jogged ahead.
"Not funny," she scoffed behind him, and he heard her huff as she ran to catch up. "Those things cost probably a million—"
Max swung around, easily catching Kevin and swinging him back onto his back. "The car for Miami was about sixteen million."
Her eyes widened. "Sixteen—" She pressed her hands together right in front of her mouth. "Million? As in sixteen then six zeroes behind it?"
Nodding, he started walking backwards, amused at her reaction. She was staring at him in shock, and her son was giggling. "It's hard to pinpoint an exact cost, because we reuse some components from race to race. A chassis, or wings, yeah? If you really wanted to know I can pull up the data and get the price for each part—"
"No," she said, shaking her head slowly. "Please don't. I'd probably faint."
"It's an expensive sport, y/n," he reminded her.
"Yeah no shit," she muttered, exhaling harshly. "I've got so much to learn."
"You'll be fine." He'd meant it to come out in an offhand manner. A generic it's okay so feelings wouldn't be hurt. But it came out gently, laced with reassurance and promise. And, before he could stop himself, his mouth opened again. "If you have any questions you can ask me."
"I can Google," she told him.
"I can change my Wikipedia to say I'm eighty-six. Doesn't make it true," he quipped.
To his relief, she laughed. "Fair point. I'll be sure and ask you."
He turned his attention back to Kevin, swinging him from his back to his hip. Reception was empty, and he set the boy down so he could explore the various displays. "He can't hurt anything," he reassured her, knowing she was watching carefully as Kevin ran over to a wing displayed on the wall.
"I just worry," she sighed.
"Why do you sound like you're apologizing?" Folding his arms over his chest, he watched Kevin walk around the large room, drinking it all in. "You're his mother, you're supposed to worry. If you didn't you would have to apologize."
"Thank you."
"He's a good kid, y/n," he said softly.
"I think so too." He could hear the smile in her voice and turned slightly to see it on her face.
Every other time he'd been in this room the weather outside had been cloudy or rainy. He couldn't remember the sun ever shining as he'd stood there to soak in all the history. Until now. It poured through the windows, causing the trophies in the cases to sparkle and the polished floor to gleam. It shone into her eyes, and he could only stare at her as she squinted a little, a tiny dimple appearing in her left cheek.
God, she was lovely.
She glanced at him and his breathing kickstarted. Unconsciously licking his lips, he cleared his throat. "You seem to be doing well, for a single mom."
Her smile faltered and he mentally kicked himself. She looked to Kevin, who was studying the Red Bull logo on the wall, and looked at Max again. "I didn't have a choice."
"I'm sorry," he said automatically.
"Oh he's not dead." She watched her son, her smile gone. "Just dead to us."
"Then I'm sorry for bringing it up." It had ruined the day. Well, alright, not the day but the moment. They'd been having fun, he'd been having fun.
You always fuck up don't you?
His jaw clenched as the angry voice from years ago echoed in his mind.
"It's okay, Max." Her gentle voice cut through the echoes of the past and he forced his jaw to relax.
Nodding, he uncrossed his arms and called to Kevin, taking him by the hand and leading him to the towering trophy case. "Come on, y/n, time to learn some history."
She snorted on a laugh but joined them, and he could tell she was paying attention as he rattled off years and races and drivers to Kevin.
You're going to fuck this up too, the voice sneered.
#f1#f1 fic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#max verstappen#max verstappen fic#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#my writings > mv > rulebreaker
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Hunted
Summary: Hydra hosts a training exercise for their super soldiers. You can run, but you can't hide from the Winter Soldier.
Pairing: Dark Winter Soldier x F. Reader
Warnings: Smut. 18+ Only. Minors DNI. This is a dark fic. Non con. Death.
See my Masterlist Here
You ran as hard as your feet would carry you. You were terrified, shaking so hard you were surprised that you could even move. Footsteps approached quickly, your breath hitches as you make a decision. You could run, but the super soldier could easily catch up to you. Or you could stay where you are and pray that you are hidden well enough that he won't find you.
Last month, Hydra caught your uncle's company trying to take them down. They killed all the men that worked there and captured all the women. They brought you all to cells under their headquarters. They fed you three meals a day, stating you all would need your strength for what they had planned.
This morning, you learned what they had meant. You were all brought out to the edge of the woods. The man in charge told you that they were training their super soldiers today. They would be practicing their hunting skills. A large van pulled up, and out came ten super soldiers. You looked around, counting the women who were with you. There were twenty-three of you. A second van halted to a stop beside the other. Two large men drug out another.
He was chained up, arms behind his back, black mask almost like a muzzle covered his mouth. His dark, shoulder length hair was messy, piercing blue eyes locking on you. You felt like you were going to faint. The Winter Soldier was the most brutal of all the super soldiers. A skilled assassin, he was sent on Hydra's most important missions. He did all their dirty work.
The Hydra leader who brought you outside explained the rules to the prisoners and soldiers. They were going to give you all an hour head start. Your job was to hide from the men. If they found you, they could do whatever they wanted with you as a reward. Bile rose in your throat, turning the contents of your stomach sour. Some of you wouldn't come out of this alive. But if you were fortunate enough to make it until sunrise, you would be free.
The footsteps grow closer, you close your eyes hoping he won't notice the footprints you had left in the mud. Then you see him, the man was tall, blonde hair shaved off. He walked toward the bushes you were hiding in. Your hand flies to your mouth to hide your cries. To your dismay, one escapes anyway. The soldier's head whips toward the noise, across the way from you.
You realize it wasn't you who cried too loudly. The soldier smiles wickedly, reaching for the poor woman who just gave up her hiding spot. He flings her out of the bushes onto the hard ground. More tears fall when you notice that it's Claire, the secretary from your uncle's failed company.
The soldier begins pawing at her as she tries to fight him off. It's no use. He holds her down with one knee on her torso, as he strips off his clothes. "You're my second one today." He brags. "Let's see if you're luckier than the last one. I choked her too hard." His evil laugh echoes through the quiet forest. When he rips Claire's clothing from her shaking body, you take the opportunity to run.
He looks up when he hears you leaving your shelter. "I'll catch up to you next!" He yells after you. The sun has started setting, you take a precious minute to catch your breath. You know if you stop for too long, you'll lose your momentum, or someone could catch up to you. You hear the screams and cries of your fellow prisoners as you make your way further into the woods. You search for a new place to hide, since it would be dark soon.
They could have at least equipped you with flashlights, you think to yourself. That was the whole point of all of this, wasn't it? You weren't meant to survive. Hydra expected the super soldiers to kill most of you. The women who survived would be brought back to the prison, probably made to work for them now that their spirits had been broken.
It was almost too dark to continue, so you took shelter in a cluster of bushes, shrinking yourself as small as you could underneath it. Night fell, and you laid on the cold ground, the horrendous sounds of the others getting caught filled the air. Finally, you rested your eyes. You needed the rest if you were going to make until the morning.
You woke up, sensing someone was nearby. You silently prayed that it was just another prisoner and not a threat. You release the shaky breath you were holding when they leave the area. The dark sky turns reddish - pink and you sigh with relief. It shouldn't be long now. Sunrise was so close you could almost taste your freedom.
You close your eyes, hoping that when you opened them the next time, this torture would be over. Your few moments of peace were interrupted when the blonde super soldier from earlier reached down into the bushes, pulling you up by your hair. Your scream rips through the woods, the soldier slings you back onto the ground, kicking you. "Shut up, bitch. I told you I was coming for you. You're my sixth, and from the looks of it, my last." He gestures to the sky.
He rips your shirt from your body. You try to cover yourself, but he moves your hands away. A metal hand wraps around the soldier's neck, a sickening crunch filling your ears as The Winter Soldier snaps it with ease. The soldier slumps over, his lifeless body landing with a thud.
"Mine." The Winter Soldier states, blue eyes locked on your exposed bra. A cold metal finger slips under the bra between your breasts, tearing it from your body with no effort. "No please! I almost made it. Please don't do this!" You cry, pleading with him. His hands find your breasts, squeezing roughly. His eyes land on your peaked nipples, taking them between his fingers.
He twists and pulls too roughly. When he's finished his assault on them, he reaches for his face, removing the black mask from his mouth. He's beautiful, you think for a split second. His blue eyes and pouty, full lips seemed like they didn't belong on the same man who was trained to kill. "Like what you see?" He smirks, when he notices you staring at his face. He pushes your breasts together, face lowering toward them. He runs his tongue from one pointed nipple to the other. Chapped lips taking one between them, sucking harshly.
He bites down, pulling your nipple with his teeth. You cry out, hands on his face trying to push him away. He chuckles, as you fight him, biting down your torso to your pants. He pulls them down along with your panties, discarding them immediately. One thick finger runs through your folds, disappointment evident as it comes out dry. "You're not even wet for me? We can't have that. I won't fit if you're not ready."
You shiver at his words. You didn't want to know how big he was. You had studied the super soldier serum enough at your old job to know that the serum enhanced everything. He brings his mouth down against your core, lips brushing your clit. He swirls his tongue around it, metal arm hooking under your legs to bring you closer. His full lips tug on your clit, you can't help but moan for him.
"That's it, good girl. If you're good for me, I'll convince them to let me keep you." You spit at him, kicking your legs, to push him away. "Why would I want that?" He smiles, because Hydra's gonna kill anyone left in these woods when this is over." You gasp, you should have known. "You didn't really think they would just let you go? You know too much. They will let me keep you as my little plaything though. All I have to do is say the word."
You didn't doubt him for a second. “Stop fighting." He commands, lowering his face again. His nose brushes your clit while he works his tongue inside you. You try to fight back, but he misinterprets your movements. He thinks you're enjoying it now. "That's it." The Winter Soldier suckles your swollen clit, hot tongue lapping up every drop of arousal. You bite your lips so hard; it bleeds trying to keep a moan in.
He grabs your chin, jerking your face towards him. "Do not hold back from me, kitten." His warm tongue drags over you slowly before his plump lips suction around your clit. Your thighs close against his ears as he draws a forceful orgasm out of you, legs trembling as you flood his face. Your moan rips through your throat, earning a satisfied smile from the soldier.
He spreads your legs with one hand, his other freeing his hard cock. You were right about the size of it. You were so fortunate that he got you wet first. You'd be lucky if he didn't split you in half. He plunges inside you, you squirm from the painful way he entered you. "Hold still." He says, holding your stomach down. "I can't, it hurts too much." You whine. The Winter Soldier rolls his eyes, lifting you like a rag doll.
He sits on the ground, lowering you onto him. This position was worse for you. He hit even deeper than before. But he could hold you better this way. His metal arm snakes around your waist, holding you close. He bounces you on his cock, your arms wrap around his neck. His fingers dig into your hips as you get used to it and start to grind on him.
Your clit brushes his dark curls as you ride him. "I knew you would be worth it." He grunts. "I wanted you the moment I saw you this morning. I found you immediately. You're not great at hiding, you know. But I waited. I knew it would be better if I let you think you could escape." He chuckles, "You should have seen those other broads, they would piss themselves when they saw me. But I only wanted you, so I left them for the others."
His dark pants rub against your thighs as he fucks into you. You roll your hips, trying to get this over with as quickly as possible. "You feel incredible." He moans into the crook of your neck. You scratch at his leather clad back, as the Winter Soldier's mouth latches onto the exposed skin of your neck. He sucks harshly, making sure it will leave a mark. You clench around him as he cums inside you.
His metal hand reaches between you, icy digits colliding with your heat. His thumb circles your clit, causing you to unravel. You shake in his arms, too exhausted to move as he pulls you off him. He takes his shirt off, handing it to you. "Put this on. I don't want anyone looking at my little doll." You take it, looking up at the sun coming up in the distance.
Tags
@cindylynn @wheredafandomat @multifandom-worlds @loz-3 @megharat-barnes-reid @kats72 @crimson25 @mochie85 @cakesandtom @lokidokieokie @theallknown213 @alexakeyloveloki @tmilover1993 @yeaiamme2 @pigeonmama @yeehawbrothers @lokischambermaid @fictive-sl0th @nomajdetective @goblingirlsarah @foxherder @weirdothatwritess @silver-tongue-taken-to-bed @freegardenbanananeck @lamentis-10 @jainaeatsstars @queenshu @justsebstan
#bucky fic#bucky imagine#bucky barnes x reader#bucky marvel#bucky fanfic#james bucky barnes#bucky#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x female reader#bucky x y/n#bucky and reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#dark bucky barnes#bucky barnes and reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky fanfiction#bucky oneshot#dark bucky smut#bucky smut#dark bucky x you#bucky x yn smut#dark bucky x reader#bucky x yn#bucky x reader smut#winter soldier smut#the winter soldier#hunted
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Oh boy, I feel like it's time for a post nobody will like.
We all know clothes are getting worse. Recently I found some jeans I bought in high school, and since I lost weight recently I tried them on and they fit, so I'll be wearing them once we get out of the Hell season.
But I took them and compared them to the most recent pair of jeans I bought, and... Honestly the difference in quality is so fucking stark it made me want to give up on life. The jeans I wore in high school have gone through everything. I'm talking half of Europe here, because one of our teachers was pretty big on school trips everywhere she could get the money for. They've been washed, tumbled, survived an actual car crash and they're still good.
The most recent pair I machine-washed ONCE, everything else was hand-wash only. I babied them to the max because they made my ass look like was on Instagram. Do you know what they look like now?
They're full of fixes like these. They lasted less than a year on their own. I got another decent year out of them SOLELY because I kept fixing them. And fixing them again. The crotch alone I had to fix SEVEN TIMES. I COUNTED.
And these weren't cheap jeans! C&A jeans tend to be around 40$ these days, and I got these for about 30 with a discount. I expected them to last me AT LEAST a few years, because those high school jeans? THEY'RE THE SAME FUCKING BRAND.
Considering this was the quality I was getting for nearly 40$ I figured I might as well get the same quality for 15$ and downloaded SHEIN. I didn't get jeans from them but I got some light, fluttery summer pants in the style that, honestly, I fucking love. I got three pairs for the price of one C&A jeans, and I am aware I will have to baby them even more, because out of the five pairs of pants in total I have bought on SHEIN only ONE is made of the fabric that I might be brave enough to machine wash. And with SHEIN continually getting sued for using sweatshops I probably won't be getting those pants again.
So what to do with that shitfuck situation?
I am insanely lucky my grandma knew how to sew really well and didn't mind me looking over her shoulder as long as I was quiet. I am aware that's not a skill everyone has, but quite frankly? When nobody has any money and even paying big bucks for clothes does not guarantee any kind of quality, and even fucking THRIFT STORES are full of just junk now, I think it's time to face the facts.
You need to learn how to sew.
I'm not talking about sewing your own clothes, though if you can and you have the time and patience, it's probably the best option (good luck finding decent fabric, because we can't even find THAT anymore unless you're ordering from fucking Belgium). I'm talking about fixing up seams and sewing on a patch, little repairs that make your clothes last. It might be junk, but with sewing you can make it last twice as long for the price of a spool of thread.
Now that I've pissed off everyone who is, for some reason, morally opposed to learning how to sew because it's a 'girly hobby' or 'supporting the patriarchy' (a take that left me baffled like nothing else) I'm going to piss off everyone who already knows how to sew.
I recommend getting this little guy.
It's called a stapler sewing machine, for obvious reasons. If I recall correctly, it was invented to fix clothes on the go for fashion shows and/or cosplay. It does only a chain stitch and needs to be pushed manually, but if you need to, like, hem your trousers and you don't want to spend half an hour on doing it manually (and don't already have an actual sewing machine) this is a lifesaver.
Here's a tutorial how it operates:
youtube
Now, why am I recommending this? Because it will only set you back six bucks. I got two right off the bat because I was banking on one not working (and I was right) and so I could use it for spare parts. The one in the video (Spring Come) is the one I have as well, and it's the one that actually works. I can't vouch for any unmarked ones, but the blue one works. It IS a little temperamental, but with a bit of practice it makes things so much easier.
The reason I'm not recommending an electric machine of any kind, even the one that costs 18$, is because, if you're a beginner, then an automatic sewing machine becomes a machine that exponentially speeds up the rate at which you make mistakes, and if it breaks down, good luck fixing it unless you have a dad/uncle/friend who knows his electronics. This thing can be fixed with a screwdriver, and takes the same needles as an ordinary sewing machine.
You can buy a bundle of needles just about anywhere for any price and they'll be decent as long as they're steel, but I would recommend looking for some actual better quality thread. Everywhere else, you can pinch pennies, but the thread itself is what's holding your clothes together, so this should be the part where you're looking for quality instead of price.
Alright, those of you who didn't scroll past with a derisive scoff at my take, I hope I've been helpful.
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Swim Lessons
Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: in Jackson, you find a creative way to get Joel to come to the lake to see Ellie swim.
Warnings: unprotected sex, creampie, Joel calls you a slut or whore a few times, fingering, orgams denial, slight belly bulge, teasing, minor breeding kink (honestly I don't count it but maybe sorta), description of female reader body, low key perverted Joel, language, wet Joel is a warning itself.
18+ ONLY, minors DNI
- - - -
You were walking outside, planting flowers outside some of the main walkways when you had overheard the two of them through their kitchen window.
Ellie was begging Joel to teach her how to swim during their first summer at Jackson. There was a lake within the confines of the community that was open for fishing and, during the hot summer months, leisure swimming. What a luxury in the apocalypse.
"No."
"Please??"
"I said no."
"Wuss," Ellie mumbled under her breath.
Joel shot daggers at her, but he was not going to budge.
"Ain't going to no lake and getting my clothes wet just to watch you flail like a kid who can't swim."
"I AM a kid who can't swim, asshole. And you'd have to take your clothes off, duh."
Oh what a sight that would be.
Joel laughed out loud. "Even more reason I won't be there."
Joel turned around and noticed you leaning on the ground, your back turned towards him. He admired your silhouette, the little shorts and tank top covering your backside as you delicately turned over the soil and planted the bulbs. He was unaware that you could hear their conversation, but you were fully aware oh his eyes burning at the back of your skull.
Ellie noticed (she always notices--Joel can't help but make it so obvious when he's staring at you). "She'll be there too."
Joel scoffed, acting like be wasn't checking you out for three silent minutes straight. "Who?" He asks incredulously.
Ellie raised her eyebrows. "Bet she'll wear something cute."
Joel shook his head, acting uninterested. His mind was going a thousand miles a minute eying you up once again and trying NOT to think about the numerous bathing suits he could picture you In, all of which he'd be stripping you out of by the time the sun set.
You hear your name being called from the window by Ellie. You turn around and wave. Joel tries to dodge your eyes, a blush creeping on his face.
"Will you teach me to swim tomorrow at the lake?" Ellie asked.
"Of course!" You responded. "I'll be there at 3."
The next day, right at 3pm, Ellie was right on time. You were stretching along the sandy waterline, watching others kick around the shallow waters and diving into the depths. It was genuinely peaceful.
Ellie wore a full piece that ended in shorts, modestly covering her lower region. You could tell she was incredibly anxious to be standing around in such tight fitting and revealing clothes.
It pissed you that she was alone.
"He didn't come?"
"Said he would think about it. But he was going down for a nap when I left." She mumbled dejected. You watched her twirl her fingers anxiously, watching the dozens of kids and adults freely splashing around the water.
You knew having Joel here would help her confidence, knowing there was someone here who knew her more intimately. The one who taught her to shoot, hunt, and survive. But ultimately, having Joel here would give her someone to bully, and that was a huge confidence booster for the 14 year old.
"He'll come," you said, absolutely sure. "I'll go talk to him in a few minutes. Now let's just standing in the water for a bit, get you used to the temperature."
--
Joel was lying faceup on the couch, his arm propping his neck up against the armrest. He had no plans to go to the lake that day. The less he thought about you, the better off he'd be at resisting your temptations.
A fervent knock on the door startled him. Grumbling, he reluctantly got up from napping position and opened the door.
There were a million things he expected, but you standing there in the most revealing bikini, dripping wet all over his porch, fucking barefoot, was not one of them.
"Hey Joel!" You beamed. You could see his brain stop working as he stood there gawking at you like a fish out of water. "Ellie forgot her goggles so I'm just coming by to pick them up."
"Uhhhhh."
You had to suppress the smirk on your face as you pushed by him to jog upstairs to Ellies room. When you came back, making an obvious show of your breasts and ass bouncing down the stairs, you twirled the googles in your hand. "Got em!"
You made your way to the front door.
Joel still hadn't uttered a word. He was struggling to process what to say. He could be mad that you barged in without permission. Or that you were leaving water footprints all over the floorboards. But no, all that was on his mind was the way the water dripped down your wet hair, running down between the valley of your tits, your belly, cascading along your naval, between your legs. The way the bra did nothing but accentuate your supple breasts, pushing them up and together like they were tempting him. How gorgeous your legs looked with basically string over your hips, and the glistening of droplets against your skin just making you shine in the sun. The entire time he didn't even make eye contact with you, so unaware of the fact that he was staring at every inch of your body. His tongue slowly licked his parched lips. The only thing on his mind was bending you over his knee right now and beating you ass red--
"Ellie's making good progress. Shame you won't be there to see," you said, smile still genuine and sweet on your face as you went to the front door. He finally looks up to your eyes and blushes, quickly looking away.
"Yeah.... shame," he mumbles.
You wave goodbye--making even effort to have your tits sway with the movement, before hopping off towards the lake.
---
It takes all of 10 minutes for Joel to show up at the lake. You know it because Ellie, who was now doggy paddling in the shallow end, stood up and gave a low whistle. You were in the water with her, lying down to submerge your body, when you turned around. God, you wish you had a camera.
Joel stood in the sand awkwardly looking lost and out of place, beach towel in hand, flip-flops and (oh my GOD) actual shorts. You took a closer look, realizing this is the first time you've ever seen his legs (he's always wearing jeans) and notice they weren't swim trunks. They were fucking boxers. To your dismay, he was wear a short sleeves shirt, but none the less, this was most naked Joel had ever been in pubblic. And you could see the same nervous stance Ellie had when she first showed up too.
"Well aren't you pretty, you old fucker," Tommy muttered, whistling at Joel as well. He was sun bathing in his swim trunks, shirtless, with sunglasses.
Ellie bounced out of the water to come oogle Joel, making snide comments. Her attitude had improved immensely, just as you suspected.
"Yeah yeah, shut up." He groaned. "Where are your goggles?"
"What goggles?"
Joel stared at Ellie, then to you. He gave you a knowing, defeated look. You sunk down in to the water so he couldnt see your giggles. He sat down next to Tommy.
You came out, freshly soaking wet in your bikini.
Joel moved his beach towel to his lap, wrapping up towards his lower ribcage to conceal his belly, sitting there with hands by his side, legs bent, trying to hide his obvious boner from the world. Despite how much he eye fucked you earlier, he was doing his best to avoid looking at you now.
"So nice of you to come see Ellie, Joel," you teased. You sat down next to him, softly pressing your tits right against his muscle arm. The tips of his ears were bright red.
"You're supposed to take your shirt off and go swimming," Ellie said.
"M'fine right here. Ain't nobody need to see what's under here."
"Wuss," Ellie mumbled. Before Joel could tut her off, she was leaping back into the water. You and Joel were both extremely proud of the work she had made.
And yes, you could see the difference in her confidence now that Joel was here watching her. You both watched her splash some of the other kids, laughing and enjoying herself.
Without removing his gaze from Ellie, Joel leaned towards you. "You're a fucking tease, you know that?"
He hadn't noticed you had whipped the goggles out. You dropped them on to his lap, causing him to yelp as they grazed the tip of his erect dick under the towel. You snatched his glasses from his eyes and put them over your head, forcing him squint at you.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
- - - -
About two hours later, most people had gone home to enjoy a summer nap after a day at the lake. The sun was setting beyond the trees. Joel waved Tommy goodbye, leaving just him, you, and Ellie. You had fallen asleep under an umbrella (an umbrella Joel had to put over you so you didn't burn in the sun while you slept.)
He took his shirt off and slipped into the lake, encouraging Ellie to go deeper into the water, promising he'd be right next to her. You had awoken to both of them comfortably in the water together, Ellie splashing Joel and getting his fluffy hair all wet and tampered down. It made your heart swell to watch the two of them exist as they are without anyone else.
You did your job. Time to go home.
You had started rolling up your towel when Joel's wet hand reached out and grabbed you. You turned around and saw him dripping wet, finally shirtless. Fuck he was even more imposing with less clothing. His soft belly did nothing to lessen his broad shoulders and strong built. Your eyes drifted down to his boxers, now clinging to his muscle thighs and hips and the outline of his big fucking c---
Joel smirked to himself, seeing the blush creep on your face. He realized how the reversal of your roles from earlier still garnered the same reaction.
"Thanks again for coming to teach Ellie to swim," you piped, hoping it wasn't obvious the effect his body had on you for a change.
"You were the one teaching her most of it. Just came to watch."
"Me or Ellie?" You smirked.
Joel rolled his eyes. He would never admit that the main reason he came was to watch you strut around in that pathetic excuse of a bikini for hours. Once you had given him a taste at his front door and left, he botled upstairs, dug through his clothes, searching for swim trunks. He didn't want to see too out of the ordinary when he showed up to eye fuck you for the rest of the evening. Not having a single pair of swim shorts wasn't going to stop him from seeing you in your glory.
He glanced back down to your breasts (now realizing you were pushing your arms together to accentuate their plumpness right at him), licking his lips. Seductively bringing his darkened gaze back to you, you felt your pussy throb with need.
He clearbed his throat. "Well, I was wonderin' if you wanted to--"
Before he could finish, Ellie had slapped a hand on Joel's back, barging in the conversation. "I am soooo pruney! Anyway, thanks for teaching me to swim!" She wrapped Joel's towel around his shoulders.
You and Joel both say at the same time "You're welcome."
Ellie took one look at the pair of you before loudly announcing, "Im going to Dina's tonight. Bye!" Before running off.
And then there were two.
You shuffled awkwardly, avoiding his eyes by playing with the sand below your feet. "You were saying? Wondering if I wanted to ... get swim lessons from you too?"
"Ha. No. Sure you're a fantastic swimmer. No. Wonderin' if you wanted to come to my place tonight."
"Oh? What for?" You teased.
He leaned closer, his fingers dragging your chin so you stare up as he pressed his wet body against yours. He rolls his bottom lip between his teeth before answering: "'Cause I'm not fucking you in some nasty lake."
You gulp, never expecting him to he so forward. For once, he had you speechless while he enjoyed your freezed reaction.
You two had barely made it through his front door before he was shoving his lips on yours, moaning into the kiss. Your lips were dry from the hours in the sun and water, but he was so thirsty for a taste of you that he couldn't care in the slightest.
"Teasin me all day with this fuckin bikini," he groaned, pulling the thin string that held your bilinki top together from the back. The top fell right off, his hands immediately replacing them to rub your breasts. "Knew these tits would be gorgeous," he moaned into your mouth, making you shiver. You closed your lips around his again, feeling his hands travel down your back till they reached your ass, giving a firm squeeze. "Can't believe you went out wearing a fucking thong and calling it a bathing suit."
"This IS a bathing suit," you laughed, licking his bottom pouty lip. "Least I didnt wear actual underwear."
He bit your earlobe, pressing you against the wall. "Gave you something to think about, didn't it?" His fingers were pushing your bottoms aside and rubbing along your soaked folds. You keened into his mouth, eyes closing with head thrown back. You could feel his hot breath on your face. "Fuckin knew you'd be soaked. Not just talkin about the water. Drenched cunt just from lookin at me, huh? Filthy slut."
Holy FUCK he had a mouth, and you couldn't help but feel more aroused from his words.
He continued to stroke your clit with his thumb, two fingers seaking your hole and plunging in at once. "Oh, fuck, Joel!"
He propped his knee between your legs, preventing you from closing them. He let you grind your pussy against his palm while he worked both fingers fast, curling, pulling then pushing in fast rythm, hitting your g spot with deadly precision.
"You like this?"
"Ah huh!"
"Say it."
"I like it! Oh J--m' gonna cum!"
Joel immediately withdrew his fingers, making you whine at the emptiness. "What the f--"
"Teachin everybody some lessons today." He kissed each cheek. "You're gonna learn not to tease me like that."
He continued to press his lips all over you you, refusing to put his fingers back on your aching clit. He resorted to grinding his wet bulge against your mound. You gasped at the sheer size of him, desperately needing that thing inside you.
Between kisses, you had gripped his hair which had now started to curl again around the roots. You managed to say, "Shower."
Joel scooped you up bridal style and carried you up the stairs. He placed you down in the bathroom slapping your ass.
"Take that rudiculous thing off," he ordered, nodding to your bikini bottom while he stripped off his own wet clothes off.
Your thighs clenched at the sight of his erect dick bouncing up to his soft tummy, standing tall, dripping a healthy amount of precum. It was flush red, angry at the tip, pulsing towards you. "See what ya do to me?" He wrapped a thick hand around the shaft, pumping it slowly while watching you. "Been like this all day cuz of you."
Your eyes never left it as you stepped backwards into the shower. He followed you in, shutting the curtains behind him.
While you turned on the shower and adjusted the heat, you could feel his lips met the back of your neck, slowly trailing down your shoulders and back up your spine. His stiff cock pressed between your silky thighs, rutting against your ass each time with desperate thrusts. You could feel your cunt aching at his earlier denial of your orgasm. You sigh heavily once the heat sprays you both. "Should get clean first before our mouths get too busy."
Joel nodded. You had lathered each other up, taking extra care to slick up his dick while he rubbed suds all over your ass, tits, and folds. He grunted, smiling when you would twist your wrist at the tip before fisting his cock repeatedly.
"Beautiful," he whispered against your lips.
His hand crept lower to your ass then down one thigh, hosting it up and around his hip as he drove your back against the slick wall. His other hand notched his cock at your entrance, teasing it.
"Gonna be a good girl and take this, yes?"
You bit your lip, avoiding his eyes. Of course you wanted to take that big fucker, ride his dick until morning. But you wanted to see how far he'd go just to "teach you a lesson."
Joel didn't like your lack of response. You felt a bot hand wrap around your throat, straitening you up. He pressed his face so close, his nose pushing against your cheek.
"SAY IT."
"'m gonna be a good girl, take your cock," you pleaded, unable to put up a farsce anymore. You smirked, and God, you were gonna be the death of him.
Joel impaled you on his full length in one thrust. You gasped, head slamming against the tile. "Ow!"
Joel's hand gently cupped the back of your head, rubbing the ache. "You okay?" He asked. He stayed still inside you.
You were so overwhelmed with how full you felt, how he just throbbed against your walls, that the pain in your head subsided quickly with his soft touch. "Just fuck me, pretty boy," you moaned.
He brought his lips to yours before beginning his assault, bringing both legs around his waist as he fucked you against the wall.
You had noticed it earlier when he emerged from the water with Ellie. How he'd run his hands in his wet hair, the wait it plastered smoothly against his head. It made him look both younger and older all at once. Mature and aloof, bold and serious, yet tender and like a playboy. It made you realize just how badly you wanted to be in this position right now, his cock ramming against your cervix, taking you like you were his.
"Little pussy so fucking tight, baby," he growled against your chest. "Fucking made to take my cock, ain't that right?"
You nodded again, whimpers and little shootings being the only sounds that could escape you.
As the water washed away the suds from your body, Joel took the opportunity to suck one breast in his mouth, biting your nipple. You dragged your hands into his hair, clenching tightly, wanting less, wanting more, wanting him.
His lower belly was grinding perfectly against your clit, your climax finding you quickly. "Joel," you warned.
"Go ahead, baby. You earned it. Cum on my cock."
And you were, arms wrapped around his broad shoulders as you cum, cum and cum, pent up from not just today but from the weeks and weeks you had been teasing, trying, testing Joel, just to get you here. You smiled sadistically, still on cloud nine, rubbing your pussy against him.
Joel glances down at the sight of his cock disappearing into your warm heat. "Ooohh f-fuck baby. Look at that."
You looked down with him, watching a slight bulge appear and disappearing against your lower tummy with each puncture of his cock deep inside you. He pressed a palm flat against it, your walls clamping down on his dick even harder. "So big, Joel. Fills me up so good."
"Yeah? Been thinking about this cock filling you forever, haven't you? Doing whatever to get me to fuck you. M gonna give it to you, sweet pea. Every fucking day. Every night. Just keep those legs spread f'me, ya hear?"
"Yes yes yes yes, oh God yes, Joel!" You could already feel a second orgasm building inside you. You leaned back further into the wall, leveraging yourself to help bounce on his cock with each thrust.
"Little whore. Fucking yourself on my cock like that. Gotta ride my dick like this later tonight, okay? Ain't gonna last much now. Been needing you too much." He was grunting into your shoulder now, letting out needy groans as he neared his end. "Where do ya want?"
You shouldnt. Should be smart about this. Especially your first time with him. Especially in the apocalypse. Especially without any protection. But Your body had a mind of its own now, that familiar feeling climbing higher and higher deep inside you. Your ankles hitch around his back, caging him against you, reducing him to shallow, deep thrusts inside.
Joel could feel your tight draw to him. He smiled against your neck, thrusts picking up pace. "Tell me. Need to hear ya say it."
You gripped his hair again, making him moan, yanking him back to look you in the eyes. "Want your cum inside me, Joel Miller."
He drove his hips into yours like a mad man, fucking himself as deep as possible, teeth gritting, never once breaking eye contact, and then suddenly the both of you were seizing up, eyebrows scrunched together, mouths agape but pressed together as your orgasms washed over you. You could feel hot ropes of his cum pump deep inside, one, two, threefourfive--six healthy strings of pulses, emptying his load into your womb.
You both panted loudly, the only other sounds being the steady cascade of water down the drain. Joel peppered your lips in light kisses as you both came down from your highs. You could hardly form your lips to return the kisses, instead now realizing just how light headed you were feeling after the best cum of your life. Joel felt your legs loosen, barely catching yourself, as his cock slipped from your embrace. Strong arms didn't let go of you, watching as your eyes close, blissfully, your skin hot from the water.
He turned off the water and carried you to the bed, gently lying you down. He dried you up with a towel, with extra care against your battered pussy. Copious amounts of his cum was leaking, and he had to restrain himself from putting his hot tongue between your legs to clean you up, enjoy the taste of both of your mixed cum bit more. No, you were half passed out, skin aflamed from the hot shower. You needed tending.
He disappeared from the room for a moment, naked wet ass and all, before reappearing with a bottle.
"Need to start hydrating more if you're gonna be out in the sun all day, lady." He helped tilt your head up so you could take gulps of much needed water. You broke away to breath heavily, some water slipping down your chest. Joel didn't hesitate to drag his tongue up your skin, sucking the water off. You smiled dreamily.
"That's what you're here for."
- - - -
You napped, fucked again, ate, sucked his cock, then he ate you out, fell asleep, and then woke up with his cock buried inside you again.
The next morning, Joel got an angry Maria banging on his door, cussing him out for using too much water for your extra long shower yesterday, causing a shortage of heat and fresh running water for the surrounding 6 homes.
#pedro pascal smut#joel miller fan fiction#joel miller smut#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you
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So. Now that she's home and safe and gonna be ok, I can talk about this.
I almost lost Kaiju. Christmas Day. I was woken up by a phone call from Allison, who will be referred to a LOT in this story. Allison runs the pet store where I board Kaiju. She called to tell me that Kaiju had lost a LOT of blood. (As it turns out, half her blood volume. Humans die when we lose 40%, just so you know. She lost 50%.)
There were no visible injuries, and she had passed a bloody stool. Or rather, a blood clot with some poop in it. She continued to pass only blood when they put her in the bathtub to clean her up. If I'd taken her anywhere else, that... would have been it, probably.
But Allison is an actual miracle worker and knew an emergency vet who was open- on Christmas Day- and could see reptiles. As soon as she called me, she took her to the e vet, where they gave her fluids and oxygen and got her stable. They did some x rays and found... nothing.
In fact, the e vet actually complimented me on her bone density and how nice her toe joints look. Whatever this mysterious haemorrhage was, it was in the soft tissue.
The immediate thoughts were:
Impaction
Cancer invading an artery
Aneurism
Reproductive issues
However, the emergency vet couldn't figure it out, and my vet was out of the country. The e vet consulted with a lot of vets and it was decided she'd go into Chicago Exotics for care the next day- they were willing to see her on immediate notice. Allison drove her over and they did an ultrasound... and couldn't differentiate the mass they found.
So, exploratory surgery it was.
But... she didn't have enough blood for that. She wouldn't have survived... if Allison hadn't found blood for her. Tegu donors were found, the transfusion happened, and was completely successful.
And what the surgery found was completely unexpected. No cancer. No repro issues. No typical impaction.
Instead? Weird white things in her muscles and a partial impaction that seems to be related to a reduction in her ability to properly digest. There are two possible diagnoses at this point. One is visceral gout. This is very strange because in reptiles, articular gout basically always happens first, and her kidneys are fine.
The other option? Weird, potentially cross species parasite she picked up when she was in the Everglades. Something she's likely had all her life, something that was dormant until recently.
I'll know when the pathology report comes back in a week or so.
Anyways! She is doing very well. She is alert and interested in things. She has an incredible appetite, even though she can't have solid food yet. She's on three meds, including one I have to inject. At her three week recheck, we will add a fourth- either the correct anti-parasitic or a medication to improve kidney function, depending on the diagnosis. Currently she's in a hospital cage and she hates it- she can't have any substrate because of the stitches.
The vet says it should take about three months until she makes her full blood volume. Her pack cell count should be at 35%. It was at 7% on the 26th. But by the 28th, it was at 10%. She's gonna be ok. She's tough. My little girl is a fighter, always has been. You have to be scrappy to survive in the wild.
And throughout this entire experience, everybody has told me how lovely her personality is. Through the injections and cloacal probing and everything, she never bit or even tried to. The vet didn't think she even wanted to bite. Like it wasn't a question of wanting to bite and not being strong enough- it's just not something in her behavioural repertoire. She doesn't bite because she doesn't want to. Because even at her most scared, at her most painful, she's still Kaiju, the best tegu to ever live. Love is stored in the tegu, and it continues to be stored in the tegu. We have a long road ahead of us, but she's out of the woods and is going to be ok. We both are.
Also, consider this a MAJOR plug for Curious Creatures in Chicago. I'm never going to board my animals anywhere else.
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A Taste of Sugar (Part 1 of 2)
Alastor x reader (Hazbin Hotel)
Part 1 rated M, Part 2 rated E 18+ for adult content
TW part 1: Light jealousy, trauma related to past food insecurity, trauma recovery.
TW Part 2: Explicate smut, see part 2 for details.
Almost 4k words for part one. Ps- Fuck you Nonny, this is what you get for trying to tell me what I'll write
~<3 Love, Kit.
As you work through the trauma of your life and starving to death, you dismantle your stash of snacks for what you hope will be the final time. Snack cakes, cookies and crackers are given to everyone around you, except one resident in the hotel whom you knew wouldn't enjoy or consume the treats. Then, as the flow of treats tricked to a stop, stash dismantled, small brown boxes containing treats began to appear at your door. Simple, delicious and seemingly homemade treats without so much as a note.
He watched and he waited, each week for your offer. Each week, no offer came and again he left his gift at your door. Why would you not think of him? Why would you not see him? What did he have to do for you to consider him?
~~~~~<3~~~~~<3~~~~~~<3~~~~~<3
A Taste of Sugar
You found yourself in Hell after a rather uneventful death that made of for its lack of excitement with lasting trauma. Now, sitting in a circle in a hotel that functioned more like a rehabilitation center and refuge than actual hotel, you were expected to recount it to the fellow residents that had become more like friends.
It was Charlie’s latest grand idea of how to build trust and bonds between the group and process negative feelings that could hold each of you back from redemption. You didn’t think that was how redemption worked but whatever, it wasn’t your reputation on the line and it got you a safe room to sleep in and three meals a day.
The others had grand stories of murders, crimes and addictions that all landed them in the grave, one way or another, often taking others with them. They had spoken of dark indulgences.
Now they teased you, your crimes amounting to nothing compared to theirs. Damned for the simple crime of being born poor and attempting, rather unsuccessfully, to survive.
You had died fairly young, having lived most of your life on the streets only to starve to death, alone, cold and in the dark. The shelters were full and the food banks near useless without somewhere to cook the food. Stealing food could only get you so far when you had little to choose from. You died dreaming of a warm meal, cooked at home. You died begging to world for a simple snack cake to quiet the pain in your stomach. You died alone, cold and hungry.
The divine didn’t seem to care that you only stole what you thought you needed to survive. Really, not even that considering you starved to death. Maybe you didn’t pray enough. Maybe you didn’t go to the right church. Maybe you didn’t give away what little food you had often enough.
Explaining that felt like shining a spotlight on every way you failed. You failed in life and you failed in death. Not good enough to get into heaven and yet you were also not bad enough to have a respected place in hell. Weak, unless and fueled by fear of once again going without.
“So, that’s why you’ve always got snacks?” Angel pointed out, making you blush hard in shame. The trauma of your life hand a lasting grip around your actions even in death.
“I’m trying to be better about it,” You felt shame in how you tended to hoard snacks in your room, rarely actually doing more than a little nibbling at them. Charlie did a great job of ensuring all residents had access to three meals a day, though someone was almost always missing from one meal or another. “I know I don’t have to worry about starving here, it’s just hard.”
In the shadows of the hall, red eyes watched the group. A smile stretched in the distance as they discussed how the traumas of life leaked into the afterlife and the ways you could move past your traumas.
He couldn’t say why he was drawn to you. You were little more than a lost doe and yet you plagued his mind. He wanted to cast you out so you’ll leave his thoughts as much as he wanted to keep you as a little pet for his own amusements. There was time enough to figure out what to do about the conflicting urges. For now, he can simply watch from a distance, from the shadows.
Rosie had told him that in her expert opinion he was ‘catching feelings’ when he had lamented his inability to settle on a course of action. That aggravated him more than anything else, well almost. The utter glee at the concept was more annoying by just a touch.
He was above romantic sentiments just as he was above the carnal desires of the flesh. Rosie was mistaken, Alastor decided as he also made the decision that he would do nothing about you. There was no reason to let you plague him any longer. Simply look away, move on with his days and it would pass.
Without the desire to do anything about this strange draw to you, Alastor settled on watching you from across the room. He watched as you ate, as you threw out the occasional small package of snacks.Turns out, he wasn’t very good at looking away from you.
It didn’t escape him how you would frown, discussing your decision with Angel. You had decided you would no longer hoard snacks and oh, how proud of you the group was.
You were growing. Healing. Blooming.
If you’d talk to him, he’d tell you that very thing. Yes, he decided as you gave away snacks that he would tell you just how proud he was of you when you presented him with a part of your stash.
He watched and he waited as you gave out cakes, crackers and cookies to everyone else.
But never to him. No, it was always Angel and the other residents you shared your spoils with. Not once had you sought him out to offer him a cracker, cake or cookie. Not that he indulged in processed snacks or sweets on anything but the rarest occasion but that didn’t stop his shadow from bristling in annoyance behind him.
He wanted to be offered. To be recognized. To be thought of. To be noticed.
But he didn’t have feelings for you, he told himself. And that’s what he kept telling himself as the purging of your stash came to an end, drawer empty and flow of snacks becoming a trickle, an occasional treat purchased with the intention of sharing.
Oh, how you’d healed.
~~~~~<3
The first time it happened, you nearly stepped on it. Someone had left a simple plain cardboard box in front of your room door without so much as a note attached to it. Inside were two equally simple cookies. Nothing large, nothing fancy.
Setting them on your desk, you debated eating them or not. They looked good but when you had asked around, no one knew where they had come from.
“Guess you’ve got a secret admirer,” Angel had teased you. “If the cookies are good, you should date them.”
You didn’t know how you’d pull that off without knowing who left them though. Surely they were safe to eat, it’s not like random people came and left the hotel.
What’s the worst that could happen, if they were drugged? You were safe in your room. If they made you sick you had a private bathroom. You were already dead so what’s the harm?
The cookies were good, it turned out. You had nibbled on them over a few days, spreading out the treat. It seemed as soon as they were gone though, a new box appeared at the door. This time with a handful of crackers, some sliced cheese, fruit and sliced cured meat.
This continued for months, treats that were simple, modest and only enough to last for a few days. No matter how quickly or slowly you had consumed the gift, the night you discarded the empty box always brought a new box in the morning.
~~~~~<3
You leaned against the counter watching Alastor work. It was late and though you were not hungry, you often found yourself in the kitchen. Just being able to go down and look at the food you had access to had been helping you resist the urge to hoard food in your room when ever you felt that anxiety claw at you.
It helped too, that you had been able to look forward to the small snack boxes that showed up.
“Something on your mind, Dear?” Alastor didn’t look to you as he spoke, instead keeping his eyes on ingredients he was measuring out.
You hadn’t expected to find him in the kitchen. It was late and those who didn’t leave to party were asleep. Husk was even passed out at the bar.
“Not really,” You said after a moment.
“The food is all here,” Alastor said with a hum, “If that’s what you’re here to check.”
“Oh, No! I-”
“We’ve all got our quirks.” Alastor cut you off, pouring water into a bowl and adding yeast.
“What are you making?” You asked rather than face admitting that he was right about what you were there to do.
“Beignets,” Alastor said, mildly annoyed.
“Those are like donuts, right?” You asked, hoping that you had imagined the sound.
“Indeed, they’re similar.” Alastor kept his words curt.
“For breakfast tomorrow?”
“At this hour, it’s today.” Alastor swallowed his annoyance at the endless questions and lied, “Yes, for breakfast.”
“I’ll go, sorry for bothering you.” You stepped backward as you took the hint, smile falling from your face.
“No,” He answered too fast, bitter sigh huffing through his always present smile, “I’ll need someone to try the test one.”
“Oh.”
You sat, watching Alastor work. He mixed flour into the liquid. This was a way you had never seen Alastor before. It crossed your mind that he probably didn’t let many see him with his coat and gloves off, smile turned soft and flour dusting his dark hands.
But he was letting you.
His coat was draped over the back of the chair you sat in, brushing against your skin as you shifted positions. His gloves were folded neatly and discarded on the table. He worked with his sleeves rolled up and a tune filling the air as he alternated between humming and softly singing to himself.
It was beautiful. You were engrossed watching him work. The sound of his voice seemed to wrap around you, caressing you with warmth.
You’d never spent much time with Alastor. You knew he was a deer, like yourself but until now, you’d thought his only deer trait had been the antlers and ears atop his head. It hadn’t occurred to you that he would have a little fluffy tail to match your own.
It should have, you had fluffy ears to match his though with your longer hair, it was more obvious that they were indeed ears. You watched as his red and black tail moved with him as he put the dough in the icebox to chill.
“What now?” You asked, leaning back from him.
“We wait, my little doe,” Alastor sat front of you across the table, leaning into your space across the small table.
“For how long?” You ask, not sure what to make of spending so much time with him.
“A while,” Alastor said, “But I assure you the wait is well worth it.”
“But you don’t like sweets.”
“You know what I like?” Alastor’s dark hand, stained by blood that could never be washed away dramatically rose to rest over his heart with a flourish as he leaned forward even more. “I’m ever so flattered.”
You stuttered, not sure how to backtrack. Alastor laughed at your flustered stuttering before taking pity on you, pointing a long claw tipped finger so close to you that you swore he was going to stab you with his nail.
“You, my dear, do enjoy sweets however.”
You didn’t know what to say to that, face warm. He knew that you cared for sweets. You were tired but seeing this relaxed side of him was thrilling. That chased away most of the fatigue, driving you to stay and find someway to push the conversation along.
“I didn’t know you liked to cook,” You struggled to decide how to fill the silence.
“I’ve always found it rather enjoyable.” Alastor cocked his head to the side as he watched you. “My mother taught me.”
“That must have been nice.” You weren’t sure what to say, having never really gotten to experience the love of a mother yourself.
“It was.” Alastor watched as you leaned forward, resting your head on your arms. There was something about you that he couldn’t put down. “Did your mother not teach you to cook?”
Your ears sagged atop your head at the question, earning a raised eyebrow from the man across from you. “She didn’t teach me much of anything. I was on my own since I was fourteen.”
“Oh, Dear,” Alastor said as if he didn’t know that already, “How dreadful.”
“I never really had enough food for learning to cook to be a thing.” You shrugged your shoulders, not lifting your head as you stretched out your arm to use it as a pillow. You shifted, allowing you to face him even as you used the side of the table to lounge on.
“But you do now.” Alastor pointed out as he sat with you in a kitchen full of food.
“Full of Charlie’s and the hotel’s food.” You said, “I couldn’t risk wasting it. It’s enough that everyone shares with me what they make and,” You shake your head awkwardly against your arm, cutting off the thought.
“And?” Alastor pressed.
“Someone’s been leaving little boxes of treats at my door. I wish I knew who it was.”
“Why?” Alastor leaned back now, putting distance between the two of you, “Does the origin of a gift matter?”
“I-” Your eyes teared up as your voice strangled in your throat. You sat up, not sure why you were being so open with him.
“You~?” Alastor asked in a sing song tone as a tear slipped from your eye and ran down. His eyes followed it as it cut a path down your cheek. It was maddening to him, what you made him feel. How watching that tear captured his attention, yet he raged at the fact that it was born from pain in your heart.
“I’ve never had anyone give me treats like that.” You said, wiping the tear away much to his disappointment.
“Never? Surely a suiter gifted you treats while courting for your attention.” Oh, why did saying that raise bile in his throat?
“I’ve never-” You laugh, not sure why the idea of discussing this with Alastor made you feel uneasy. “There was never any suiters. No boys. No one.”
“I struggle to believe that.” Alastor laughed as he stood from his chair, “Come my dear, wash your hands and join me.”
You didn’t know what he wanted but Alastor was a man to be obeyed. While you were both deer, he had far more power than you could ever dream to possess. If he wanted to demand your help, you had little choice but to comply.
Sure, the hotel offered a sense of safety but if Alastor wanted to squash you like a bug, shared demonic traits or not, there was nothing that could stop him. Well, Charlie would but she was asleep.
Alastor had the counter floured and a small portion of dough out as you joined him, drying your hands. “Where’s the rest?”
“That’ll be fried up in the morning, if it passes our test.”
He pulled you in front of the counter before stepping close behind you. It was hard to ignore the overwhelming presence of him looming over your shoulder as he reached around to grab the rolling pin only to pass it to you.
“Roll it out until I say,” He directed as he covered the pin in flour only to place it in your hands.
As you worked, his hands rested on either side of you against the counter, boxing you in from behind while not touching you at all. It was hard for you to ignore how close he was.
It was like the man was taking over your mind, something you hadn’t expected considering you hadn’t given him much thought in the months before. The smell of his cologne seemed to surround, making your head light. You weren’t sure why you were reacting to him like this but it left your nerves buzzing.
Now all you could think of was the way his breath caressed over your ears, the way his hands looked without the gloves, dusted with flour, the sound of his voice as he hummed and the smell of his cologne.
“There.” Alastor said, taking the pin from you and replacing it with a dough cutter. “Squares, about the size of your fist.”
Cool air swept around you as Alastor moved away, checking the pot of oil heating on the stove. You’d only just begun to relax under his looming presence and now he was gone and damnit, you missed it.
There was just enough dough to form two squares with some left over. Alastor scooped them up before dropping them in the oil. You stood next to him, watching as the oil came to life around the dough.
“How long do we cook them?” You asked over the sound of the violently bubbling oil.
“Not long.” Alastor said from too close behind you once again as inky black shadow imps swept up the flour and crumbs, wiping down the counters.
On the counter, he set a plate with a rack over it and next to that was a sifter atop a container of powdered sugar. You were boxed in by Alastor as he rested his hands on either side of the fryer, looking over your shoulder as he once again boxed you in.
“Now.” He said softly, “Scoop them out and put them on the rack.”
You were timid, scared of being burned as you fished for the squares with the spoon made of wire.
“Hurry, hurry!” Alastor cried, voice carrying a musical note as he only made your nerves worse, “You don’t want them to burn!”
Finally, you got them out. Oil dripped off the puffed up pastries as they quickly drained the excess oil off. Alastor grabbed the sifter only to put it in your hands. He moved you as if you were a puppet, placing the sifter in your hands over the rack, steam wafting up to caress your hand. You stood still as he poured a few spoonfuls of powdered sugar into the basket.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” He teased. “You can manage to turn the handle, can’t you?”
“Yeah,” You stammered over the word, mind buzzing with the anxiety of having Alastor, the powerful, blood thirsty Radio Demon spending so much time in your immediate space. Your hands shook as you turned the small metal handle, causing the wire bar inside the sifter to spin, agitating the powdered sugar and helping it fall in a smooth, clump free shower over a square.
Alastor used his hand on your forearm to move the sifter over the other pastry when he had decided there was enough dusting on the first. You didn’t know if there was any science to how much sugar each got or if he was simply measuring with his long dead heart.
Once both were covered enough for his taste, he plucked the sifter from your fingers and set it aside.
“What now?” You asked, unsure still of what was going on.
“Now you try one.” Alastor said, plucking a square up. When you went to grab the other, he roughly shoved the rack out of your reach.
“What? Why did you do that?!” Your brow furrowed as you looked at the rack, now well out of reach before looking back at the man standing too close to you. “How can I try it if you won’t let me grab it?”
“Open.” Alastor commanded as he ripped the corner off the beignet in his hand.
“Wha-” Your question was cut off by the soft, warm, sweet taste that invaded your mouth somewhat forcefully.
It was delicious.
“Well?” Alastor asked as you swallowed the bite.
You hadn’t noticed Alastor rip off another chunk of beignet but found it pushed between your lips the moment you attempted to praise the taste. This time, instead of retreating, his thumb rested against your lower lip as you took in the bite.
His nails were long and pointed claws, not the thick claws that encased the fingertips of his gloves, but still dangerous. The sharp point of his thumbnail poked between your lips as he watched you chew for a few moments.
You were spellbound by the way he looked down at you. What exactly was happening, you had no fucking clue but the air between you and Alastor was thick with something you couldn’t begin to understand.
His touch left your lip to rip another chunk off the beignet slowly as you watched him. His dark bloodstained hands were covered in the white powdered sugar and flour, softening their appearance.
“It’s good,” You whispered as he slowly brought another bite to your lips.
This time he offered it, waiting for you to open your mouth and take what he was offering on your own, knowing full well who was offering it. Somehow, it felt like something far more than a midnight snack was being offered to you but what?
“It’s been you,” You said, not asked as Alastor presented another bite that you took willingly as soon as you spoke.
His thumb again lingered on your lips, sugar damp with oil and sticky on his skin smearing.
“Yes,” Alastor said after a pause to toss the remaining portion of the beignet on the counter and wiping the hand that had been holding it on a hand towel on the counter, cleaning it of some of the sugar. Yet his other hand didn’t leave you. His thumb remained on your lower lip, feeling every twitch and breath.
“Why?” You whispered, his thumb slipping against your lip and coming dangerously close to falling into your mouth.
“You never offered me anything of your stash,” Alastor spoke softly.
“You don’t like sweets,” You hadn’t wanted to waste his time when you had made the decision to dismantle your stash. It had been a emotionally difficult choice, one that you had made before and never stuck to for long until now. “Or junk food.”
“You ignored me.” Alastor’s thumb slipped, running along her lower lip but never leaving it. “I thought if you had better options…”
“I’d share them with you?” Your voice was coming out so soft now, Alastor’s tall ears cocked forward to better pick up your words.
“But you didn’t.”
“I didn’t share them with anyone.” You whispered. “I didn’t want to share them with anyone.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to keep them all to myself. They were too good to share. I-”
Alastor’s thumb slipped into your mouth, cutting off whatever you had been about to say. Sticky sweetness exploded across your tongue as his thumb caressed it. You could feel the point of his nail against your tongue, a hint of danger coated in sweet sugar.
Your mind was numb as you caressed the pad of his thumb, rolling the tip of your tongue under his nail softly. You were not sure what he wanted from you. The idea of overstepping Alastor’s unspoken boundaries was terrifying. This was uncharted waters. A side of Alastor you had never seen or even dared to dream of seeing.
Alastor watched you as you stood near frozen. “Under some circumstances, I enjoy a sweet.”
~~~~~<3
See part 2 for the smut.
#alastor x reader#alastor x you#alastor x reader smut#hazbin alastor x reader#hazbin alastor x you#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor smut
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The Bolter
2.2k words
Proofread? Y/N
TW: Minor descriptions of injuries
Arcane Series Finale spoilers
In the aftermath of the Battle of Piltover, you find yourself desperately clinging to a toy monkey head with nails hammered into it.
If you were to ask the regular citizens of Piltover and Zaun, the regular duration of a search and rescue mission is around seven days. While this was, in a way, correct, but it would only reach that many days if there was enough proof that the missing person was alive.
Standard operating procedure only allows a max of fifty-one hours.
You've been searching for nine days, fifteen hours, and twenty-seven minutes.
We don't have the resources right now, there's been too many casualties.
Alone.
There’re too many places to look through. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put the thought in your head-
Through every single cooling duct leading into the Hex Gate.
-the fuse assembly could've survived by other means.
"I have to try, Cait." You say as you put on your pack, loaded with first aid supplies and recovery equipment. Caitlyn moves to grab your arm. Her grip firm, but she's not holding you in any way that could actually prevent you from leaving. You still stop and wait for her to finish what she wants to say.
"It's been over a week. You've barely slept the entire time, and I can't keep changing the subject when Vi asks me where you've gone." She tugs at your arm lightly, willing you to sit down on a nearby chair.
It had been ten days since the end of the battle. Ten days since Piltover and Zaun almost met their demise. Ten days since so many lives were lost; all for power.
Vi was -is- a mess. She could barely pull herself up from the ledge you fished her out of back at the top of the tower. Dread had already begun to creep its way across your body as you made your way up to where Jinx and Ekko's balloon had crashed. The feeling only got worse as you climbed higher, seeing no signs of its three occupants. You started running faster up steps, climbing ladders with speed you never thought possible for you. For a moment the dread had ceded, your adrenaline taking over. But then there was the explosion. And then... And then eventually you heard Vi's cries.
Your body stiffens as you shut your eyes, willing the memory away. "You're gonna have to cover for me a bit longer, Cait." You say as you softly pry your arm free of her grasp. "With how loud that explosion was, there's no way the assembly could've just survived."
"If it was anyone else, maybe I would've stopped searching already. But you and I both know this isn't just anyone else, no matter which side you're on." Caitlyn looks at you for a few moments, you know we'll enough that she's already wavering in her previous attempt to dissuade you.
"You wouldn't have mentioned it at all if you didn't think-"
"I know, I know." She finally says. "I wouldn't have given you the schematics for the structure either."
She sighs, an all too familiar indicator that you've won. "Just... Don't push yourself too much. I know I'm the one that gave you hope that she survived, but at some point..." She trails off. You know she wants to say that she doesn't want you to have your hopes crushed, or to put yourself in unnecessary danger. Especially since the inner ducts have been unstable since the explosion.
"I promise, I'll be careful, Cait. You know me." You shrug and smile at her, hoping that the nonchalant display is enough to convince her that you aren't fatigued out of your mind.
The look on her face says she doesn't buy it. But she says nothing about her doubts, instead nodding your way. "Be careful, I'm holding you to that."
"I will."
"Fucking air vents." You curse as you drop your pack by the wall of the duct. The thump it makes echoing around the cavernous tunnel. You've been walking uphill to get back up to the entrance, but the strain from working non-stop for over a week, the sleep deprivation, and the mental exhaustion was bound to catch up. Maybe Cait was onto something with the whole resting thing.
You let out a huff at the thought. You didn't have time to rest, what if Jinx was somewhere hurt, with no one around- she'd find a way to pull herself out of here and escape-- or what if she was trapped somewhere -this is my second sweep of the vents and all the obstructed entrances have been cleared- You lean against the tunnel wall before slumping gingerly to the ground. Your ankle hadn't fully healed from the battle, and you still had bandages all over your midsection from injuries you sustained.
You take a few steadying breaths before pulling out a map of the vents, marking the sections you've done your sweep of. Your vision swims for a moment, and it's enough for you to shut the map and lean you head against the wall. You close your eyes and steady your breathing, willing yourself to hold it together.
You're no use to me dead. She would say right about now. I'm still alive and you still say I'm useless. You'd reply.
"Yeah, but I say it lovingly." She harks back from her chair, tinkering away at her robot bug thing that she and Isha were using for their little fight club. You turn from the pin board you were making- places in Zaun where new checkpoints had been placed. You drop the purple pen you were using-Isha had stolen the red marker you usually use-- to write and make your way over to Jinx.
"Lovingly?" You ask as you turn her chair around, a grin plastered on your face. She rolls her eyes, but her own smile betrays her attempt at brushing you off. "Don't think too hard about it, you might hurt yourself."
"Looks like you've been the one thinking about it." She scoffs at you, turning her chair back to face her work station. Though she doesn't turn fast enough for the pink dusting her cheeks to escape your notice. "I said don't think too much about it."
"Hey." You say softly, turning her chair around again and pulling up a chair for yourself so you were eye-level. She's pouting, so you know you're not in trouble. "I'm sorry for teasing." You take her left hand and place a kiss on her knuckles. She makes a face.
"Ew, don't kiss my hands, they're covered in grease."
"When are they not covered in grease?"
"Didn't you just apologize for teasing?"
"I'm sorry for teasing, again."
"You're lucky-" She clamps her mouth shut. You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from grinning again. The last thing you want is for her to close herself off. You know she's being careful. For someone known to be completely reckless at spontaneous times, she could be just as calculating and reserved. She's slipped a few times already, not explicitly saying I love you, but accidentally implying it or using some variation of the word during a casual conversation. You're no better, but so far, you've been able to avoid slipping.
Maybe you both thought it was too soon to say. Three or four months of you acknowledging that there was something between the two of you might be too soon, but there was a revolution going on, and revolutions are rarely peaceful and without casualties. Who knows what might happen in a few months, weeks, days, or hours. But you don't know what the next few weeks have in store for you.
"I know I'm lucky." You say. Hoping that the implication of, I know I'm lucky you love me, is enough.
But it wasn't, and now I'm here.
You jolt forward, blinking a few times to clear your blurry vision. Had you dozed off? For how long?
You sigh and rub your face with your hands. You do need rest, just for a little bit, then you'd get back to searching for her. You're no use to her dead, after all.
The walk back to your apartment is agonizing. The second you decided that it was time to take a break, your whole body decided that it was the best time for you to feel your exhaustion in its entirety. Your pack was suddenly heavier, your ankle decided to start swelling, and the wound on your side thought it was the perfect time to start bleeding again. Despite your body's attempt to suddenly render you immobile, you're able to meander back to your door after a horrible confrontation with five flights of stairs. Damn that faulty elevator.
You decide that having a view from your balcony isn't really all that worth it as you jam your keys into the lock and make your way inside. You stop dead in your tracks as soon as you pass through the door. The lock never clicked open.
You draw your pistol quietly, and scan the open living room and kitchen area of your home. Deeming the areas clear, you start making your way towards the hallway leading to your bedroom, pistol aimed and ready. Who on the Runeterra's green earth would be targeting you? Leftover Noxians? No. Turn coats like Maddie? Unlikely. Someone from the Undercity with a grudge? Unless they figured out who I am, I doubt it.
You hear a creaking sound from a door to your left, and you quickly kick it open and aim your pistol at the intruder.
"Jeez, you'd think a girl would get a warmer welcome after coming back from the dead." The intruder says, leaning back on a chair and idly scanning a vinyl.
You stare, dumbfounded. A part of you fully believing you've started hallucinating from the exhaustion, or the blood loss, you're not sure anymore. Your intruder, however, seemed to find your predicament funny.
"What, got nothing to say to me?" She asks. She finally turns to look at you, but the grin she puts on quickly falters when she notices the blood from your reopened wound seeping through your uniform. And then she's in front of you, one hand cupping the side of your face, the other hovering just above spots of blood on your shirt.
She asks if you're okay, but you're not sure. You still haven't confirmed whether on not you're hallucinating. So you do the only logical thing in the world and wrap your arms around her.
"Jinx?" Your voice cracks as you utter her name, and you wait. Wait for her to disappear, for your tired mind to catch up and be able to distinguish what is real and what isn't, because a part of you was only ever really using the tunnel search as a coping mechanism and that-
"I'm here, it's okay." She says as she wraps her arms around you and returns your embrace. If it were any other day, it would be you comforting her, offering her words of reassurance, support, affirmation. But this isn't any other day. Because you thought for the last ten days, twenty-three hours, and eight minutes, that she had died in an explosion.
But she didn't, and now you're sure that she's alive, that she's here, and alive, and breathing and-
"I love you." The words spill out of your mouth before you can think of anything else. How could you think of anything else? When those words, you realize now, have been long overdue.
She laughs. You realize how much you've missed hearing her laugh once your tears start falling. "I'm sorry." You say. "I thought, you died."
You stop yourself from hissing as her hug tightens and pain shoots up from your side. You could stomach the discomfort for this. You wouldn't let her go for anything, not again. "I'm sorry I took so long, bubs."-Your heart soars at the nickname- "There were a few... loose ends I had to take care of before coming to find you." She wipes away your tears as she says this, her hands carefully brushing your hair out of your face.
"It's okay, nothing else matters now." Just you you wanted to add, but refrain from speaking any further. You pull away just far enough to look at her, still not letting her go. It's her, alright. Her hair is different, and she doesn't have her pants that that one enforcer described as a half-eaten circus tent, but it's her.
"You're not upset?" She has the audacity to ask.
"I spent the last week and a half thinking you were dead, upset is the last thing I'm feeling.” A pause. “Wait no, actually, I spent nine days wandering around the cooling vents to look for greasy ass hand prints on walls."
"Hey."
"And I couldn't find any so you must've washed your hands for once-"
"Okay, smart ass, I get it." She says, rolling her eyes before pulling you in for a kiss. Suddenly all the exhaustion and pain you're feeling is gone, and your mind blanks. The only thought running through your head is Jinx and I missed you, and I love you, I love you, I love you as you pull her closer to you.
"Easy, tiger." She puts a hand on your chest to stop you from chasing after her when she pulls away. You let out a huff. She laughs. "You're bleeding, I need to take a look at that first."
"Since when has me being injured ever stopped you?"
She grins at you. "Being away from me that long has you down bad, huh?" You grumble something about her being unappreciative, and she responds by pulling your face down and placing a kiss on your nose.
"You're lucky I love you."
#arcane x reader#jinx x reader#arcane jinx#arcane netflix#arcane#I'm not delusional#this show is purposeful and there are no coincidences
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babysitter duty | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x reader
an emergency meeting at red bull means max finally meets the horner family babysitter and chaos ensues
note: i will obviously not be using christian's real kids in this, this is a work of fiction. there will be no real pictures of his kids, neither will i use their real names (i actually have no clue what they are and cannot be bothered to google it lol)
yourusername added to their story
[caption: when all the big businessmen crash baking night]
yourusername
liked by yourbff and others
tagged: yourbff
yourusername: last weekend before the eff won starts again i.e. my last weekend before my only friends are literal children
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yourbff bring the kids out me thinks
yourusername my boss literally follows this account dumbass
christianhorner do not take my children clubbing
yourusername YES SIR 🫡
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 223 others
yourusername: wasn't raining in oxford for once so a picnic was only necessary
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yourbff they're so so precious
christianhorner who taught her that sign?
yourusername you did??? stop swearing so much in drive to survive sir
maxverstappen1 she's not wrong
christianhorner why are you here?
maxverstappen1
liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 601,778 others
maxverstappen1 best way to start the season and to end a ten year drought in Bahrain!! thank you to everyone in the garage and all the fans in the stands
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yourusername smashed it maxy
maxverstappen1 why thank you i'm blushing
user67 what. the. fuck. is that ^^^
themaxverstappenstan33 i am actually bamboozled
danielricciardo ignoring whatever meltdown is happening in these comments - congrats max !!
yourusername added to their story
[caption: school run days]
maxverstappen1 added to their story
f1wagsupdates
liked by f1girly77, likedbypierre and 77 others
f1wagsupdates this is y/n y/ln, she's a live-in babysitter for christian horner and more recently, she seems to be the one catching max verstappen's attention. as far as we know they first met after the top officials at red bull met for an emergency meeting at christian horner's home - we know she was present because she posted on her story with one of the kids baking during the meeting. since then she has been commenting on his posts and max posted a picture of him with a girl on his story in an outfit y/n has posted in before. do you think they're cute?
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yourusername someone fancies themselves a detective
user34 oof she gagged yall
hugsforcharles tbf she has a point, you guys are digging way too into all of it
lilacverstappen i know this is a gross invasion of privacy but i kinda think they're cute
user33 you're not wrong
maxverstappen1
liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 1,206,781 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1 fuck u sherlock holmes i'll decide when i announce my relationship ... anyhow, you're cute, sorry christian but you're going to have to find a new babysitter
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yourusername I LOVE YOU MAXY but i love those kids more so looks like you're movign to oxford
maxverstappen1 i never agreed to that
yourusername say goodbye to the tax free life and say hello to crayons and picnics
christianhorner you'll have three very angry kids to deal with max, but aside from that, i'm very happy for the both of you
yourusername love you bossman
maxverstappen1 love you bossman
danielricciardo this is not usually how this plot line ends
landonorris STOP RIGHT THERE OLD MAN THIS IS A WHOLESOME POST
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 22,301 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername add max moving into christian's house to ur f1 bingo cards - you can't take me away from these kids, they're kinda my only friends
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maxverstappen1 i've been here one day and i'm convinced @christianhorner ur kids are evil geniuses
yourusername obvs they are maxy, they're salty spice's kids
user46 omg she calls him salty spice as well
christianhorner don't make me regret giving you a room near mine
yourusername GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER CHRISTIAN... maybe invest in some ear plugs ;)
christianhorner consider this your eviction notice
note: bit of a random one lol but i had fun. i know people don't like christian (for good reason) but he's the one it worked with. ALSO my asks are open now !!! so ask away xx
#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1#f1 x you#max verstappen#max verstappen instagram au#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine
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tease ||yjh||
summary- Jeonghan's a tease. You're delighted to find that this extends to the bedroom.
wc- 4k
Blue hues of light lit up the living room- spilling out of the blaring television and onto your faces. It was loud. It was bright. But it did nothing to distract you from the way your boyfriend toyed with you while he watched.
You and Jeonghan had only just started dating- it had been about three weeks- and nothing had moved past innocent make-out sessions yet. There was no rush, he told you, he was willing to wait until you were comfortable enough.
'no one has ever survived my plain rice original attack- take this!'
'HA! you underestimate m- AHHHHH I'M HUNGRY'
It was a silly movie. On any other day, you would've loved it. You would've been glued to the screen, shoveling popcorn into your mouth as you laughed away.
But right now? Right now you were focused on one thing and one thing only; the way Jeonghan was touching you.
He leaned against the arm of the couch, legs bent at the knees, with you lying between them. Your head rested on his firm chest and his arms wrapped themselves under yours, around your waist. It was standard procedure thus far. You always cuddled like this.
The thing with today, however, is that his hands are...occupied.
One hand sits at the hem of your shirt, fingers fidgeting with the flimsy fabric, while the other holds your inner thigh. Over the course of the movie, Jeonghan moved from twisting the hem of your shirt to tracing little hearts onto the skin below, right above the edge of your panties.
You've got half an hour left to finish the movie now. Half an hour to power through your growing desperation.
"there's no need to drag this out," he mumbles into your ear, and you jolt in his arms, feeling his breath tickle the shell of your ear.
"huh?"
"I mean, he could've just shot the guy-"
Unsure of what he was referring to, you opt to agree, not wanting to give away your current state.
"y-yeah, you're right" you stutter, cringing internally at how pathetic you sound.
If he notices, he chooses to make no comment about your utterance and resumes watching the movie. His hands move back to playing with you, only this time, he drags his nails over the waistband of your panties, causing you to squirm in his grasp. The other hand settles back on your inner thigh, fingers bumping into your cunt 'accidentally'.
The contact has you whimpering pathetically, and you bite down on your lower lip to seal off your voice. You fail to notice, however, the smirk playing on Jeonghan's lips.
Oh, this was no accident.
Fifteen minutes to go now, and you think you're going insane. The squeeze of his fingers, the way his nails rake against your skin so softly, he has you losing your sanity. Your panties are soaked, your breathing is shallow, and your face is so red he'd be able to see it even amidst the harsh blue glow the TV casts on your face.
'hang in there' you tell yourself, trying to squeeze your thighs together, trapping Jeonghan's hand between them.
"you okay, angel?" he asks, wiggling his hand until your thighs fall open again, "you've been so quiet"
"I uh, I'm alri-" you break off into a whimper when he moves his hand up and squeezes again.
"what is it, baby?" His voice is sultry and low. You feel yourself clench up around nothing.
"n-nothing hannie I'm okay" you say, breathlessly. Too caught up in watching yourself, you fail to notice the evident grin in your boyfriend's voice- like he was up to no good.
"if you need anything from me, you can just say, hm?"
'I need your dick inside me. I need you to touch me, to kiss me, to have me. Whatever you want. I need you to just have your way with me'
"yeah I'll um, I'll be sure to tell you"
Ten minutes to go. You are an absolute mess. Your panties cling to you uncomfortably, like a second skin, your body is enveloped in a thin film of sweat, and his hands, god his hands have not stopped.
Those gorgeous fingers of his torture you with their every move. You've forgotten about the movie entirely now, choosing instead to look at the way he plays with you. The way his pretty, long fingers grab at your flesh, teasing you without mercy.
You're transfixed, honestly, drifting into thoughts of how they'd feel inside you, how he'd feel inside you. Captivated by his hands, you don't realize when time passes you. Before you know it, the room goes silent, screen turning black before your unfocused eyes.
The credits roll quietly as Jeonghan continues to toy with your body, now certain that you're as invested in this as he is.
He hasn't said it before, but he's wanted to have you from the moment you called him yours. His mind was plagued with thoughts of you- what you'd look like, what you'd sound like, what you'd feel like under him. But, he didn't want to push. This had to happen naturally.
As names litter the screen, Jeonghan brings his hand higher, now flush against your groin, and you fail to conceal the moan that rips out your throat.
"oh?"
"sor-sorry," you stutter, eyes widening, "I should um, I think I'll go wash up-"
Hastily, you move to scramble off his chest, shooting up off the couch only to find him mirroring your actions.
Jeonghan's hand finds your wrist, and he tugs you back, into his embrace. He wraps his arms around you, leaning his chin on the top of your head.
"why won't you ask?" he mumbles into your hair, smoothing his palms over your waist and lower back.
"what are y-"
"I'm all yours, y'know... whatever you need, you can take it from me"
When you fail to respond, Jeonghan sighs, peeling himself away from you. His hands land on your shoulders as he walks you backwards, pushing you onto the couch.
"hannie what are-"
Soft cushions greet your tensed frame, dipping under your weight. Your boyfriend stares down at you, slowly settling on top of you, with his knees resting at either side of your hips.
"take it." he whispers, bringing his face right above yours, so close you can feel his breath tickling your lips.
A breathy sigh slips past your lips, and you shudder at the proximity between your bodies.
Jeonghan inches closer. Your eyes flutter closed, anticipation bubbling away in your stomach. He draws nearer still, pushing further and further, almost reaching your lips, until he stops.
You lie waiting, with your eyes still shut, before he whispers against your lips.
"take. it."
Blushing wildly, you look up at him. He's still close, still almost touching you. At first, you're unsure of what he means, but the look in his eyes tells you all you need to know.
Oh.
He wanted you to work for it.
Your head tilts tentatively, angling yourself towards him. It's a strain, lifting your head at such an awkward angle, but you're almost there. Your lips are almost on his.
So close, just about to touch, when he pulls back ever so slightly. A frustrated whine leaves your lips as his own curl up into a devilish smirk.
"hannie," you pout. His smirk widens.
"c'mon angel you can do better than that, can't you?"
Ignoring your crumbling pride, you reach up once again, managing to ghost your lips over his, only to have him pull away like before.
You huff, letting your head fall back onto the cushions as you turn to the side.
"giving up already?" he hooks his fingers under your chin, forcing you to face him as he speaks.
You're about to bite back, say something mean, but the view you're met with has your throat closing up. Jeonghan's hair hung loosely around his face, his lips were parted, his eyes were blown wide with something you'd never seen before- he looked unreal.
"are you?" he quirks a brow at you before leaning closer, ghosting his lips over yours.
Taking full advantage of the proximity, you loop your arms around his neck and pull him closer, finally managing to kiss him.
The action takes him by surprise, but he quickly recovers, grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.
You gasp at the sudden movement, and he takes full advantage, shoving his tongue into your mouth, licking his way inside. There was an expertise to the way he kissed you- how his tongue moved so sensually, how his lips pressed against yours in a way that had your panties soaked.
While one hand binds your wrists together, Jeonghan uses the other to cradle your face. The gentle manner in which his fingers splayed over your hair, thumb tucked into your temple, had you reeling. How dare he act so innocent with his tongue shoved down your throat?
For a minute you both seemed to forget about the world, about reality. All that existed was you and him and the heat between your bodies. You can't help the small whimpers and moans that escape you with every flick of his tongue.
Panting, you pull away. Your chest heaves as you gaze into his eyes, noticing how blown his pupils are. The same eyes that sparkled with love when he saw you, the same eyes that crinkled under his smile, those very eyes looked unrecognisable tonight. There was a lust, a hunger, that shone behind his stare. It made your stomach flutter.
"angel," he mutters, his tone low and raspy, "what do you want from me?"
"I-" you start, breaking eye contact when your cheeks start to heat up once again, "I want you"
He quirks a brow at you, and for some reason, you feel the need to add in a quick "please".
"want me how?"
Jeonghan trails his fingers from your jaw down your body, stopping at your clothed cunt.
"want my fingers?" he smirks as you shudder under his touch, and continues.
"want my mouth?" his head dips into the divot between your collarbones, licking at the tender skin before nipping at it oh-so-gently.
"want my cock?"
In one swift motion, he grinds down into you, pushing his hard bulge against your sex.
A moan claws its way up your throat, and before you're aware of what you're doing, you find yourself whimpering-
"all of it- all of it please hannie"
He stares down at you, his dominant persona faltering for a second when he takes you in. Soft wisps of hair framed your face, a thin film of glossy sweat settled on your skin, crimson tints painted your cheeks. You were sprawled out, blushing, panting, all for him. All because of him.
The way his heart swelled at the sight of you was something he'd never felt with anyone else before.
"my pretty girl," he coos softly, brushing a strand of hair off your face, "I'll make you feel good, okay? Is that what you want angel?"
You nod, desperately, eyes wide with sincerity. God you're adorable- Jeonghan can't help but fuss all over you and pepper your face with soft kisses, before he regains his composure.
With alarming ease, he stands back up, beckoning you forward with the quirk of his fingers as he walks backwards towards his bedroom.
"c'mere"
You swallow your pride and follow him, scrambling off the couch eagerly, chasing after his figure.
The dark setting of his bedroom greets you as you enter after him. It isn't what you expected. Not one bit. For someone as soft and easy going as Jeonghan, black walls and dark satin sheets seemed quite... out of character.
But then again, you've only known him for a few weeks. Perhaps he isn't as soft as he let's on.
"if you wanna stop," he says, pushing you to sit on the bed, "just say the word. okay?"
You nod and his jaw ticks.
"words. I'm gonna need to to use your words for me, yeah?"
"y-yeah I can do that Hannie"
"good."
Slowly, Jeonghan tips you back, letting you lie back onto his mattress with your knees hanging off the edge. He shoots you a sly smirk as his hands run up your sides, under your shirt, making you shiver.
"this okay?" he murmurs, kissing the skin of your exposed tummy while his hands undo your buttons with expert precision.
"mhm"
With each button falling apart under his fingers, you feel your heartbeat quicken. Anticipation builds in your stomach with how slowly yet easily he moves. It was so sensual, so enticing, how he took his time, how he was so confident with the way he handled you.
The heat between your legs is unbearable now.
"there" he sighs, almost to himself, as he pops the last button off, revealing your bralette.
Oh.
Just when he thought you couldn't get any prettier, you had to go and prove him wrong.
"I'm really lucky, aren't I?"
"what ar-"
"I've got the prettiest girl in the world with me. all mine"
You turn away, bashfully.
"m'gonna make you feel good, okay, pretty?"
"yes" you breathe.
Sparing not a second more, he crawls on top of you, nuzzling his face into your neck, leaving wet kisses below your ear.
"could kiss you all day" he whispers against the shell of your ear, biting gently at the sensitive skin.
"Hannie-"
"don't think I'll ever be able to stop"
Jeonghan trails kisses down your neck to your cleavage, stopping right above the fabric of your bralette to look up at you.
"can I?"
"mhm"
Deft fingers slide under your back, pushing you to arch up against him as he unhooks your bra with ease. He lets the fabric fall apart under his fingers and tosses it aside, sucking in a sharp breath at the sight of your breasts.
You shudder when his hands knead the soft flesh, occasionally tweaking your nipples between his fingers. He really knew what he was doing.
The heat in your belly only grew with the way he teased you, growing almost unbearable. You needed him to touch you. You'd go crazy if he didn't.
As if he read your mind, Jeonghan places his lips to your breasts, sucking faint red bruises into your skin, moving south. He leaves a trail of marks all the way down your torso, stopping at the hem of your shorts.
"still with me?" he asks, fingers tucked into the waistband of your shorts, mumbling into your skin.
"yeah just- please keep going"
He grins. You were exactly what he imagined. Responsive, sensitive and desperate. Oh he was going to have so much fun with you.
Tugging your shorts down, tantalisingly slow, Jeonghan stares up at you- a mischievous glint in his eyes.
You don't think too much of it at first, but when he moves to pull your panties off, you begin to put two and two together.
A faux pout takes over his features as he holds your underwear right above your knees.
"oh no," he coos, snapping the waistband against your lower thigh, "it's stuck."
Oh.
"what-?" you choke. It was painful now, how badly you needed him. Your clit ached, your hole clenched up around empty space, your skin was on fire.
"can't seem to get these off," A stupid grin stretches over his lips, and you want nothing more than to smack it right off.
"Hannie c'monn it hurts" you whine, tears pricking your eyes, "please"
He pouts, a condescending furrow in his brow.
"but it's stuck"
"god-"
You shove your panties down, hastily, and kick them off until you're completely bare for him. Exasperation paints over your face, only to be replaced by a furious red blush once realisation hits.
Did you just-
"so desperate for me," he smirks as his palms glide over your hips, "fuck look at how wet you are, angel"
Jeonghan crooks a finger into you, dragging it along your slit before raising the digit to your face. There's a glint in his eye, half in awe, half amused.
"you're practically dripping off my fingers, baby"
You feel your cheeks heat up at the sight and turn away, mumbling something along the lines of 'c'mon don't tease'.
There's a chuckle on his end as he gives in, pushing the soaked digit into your mouth. Your cheeks hollow around his finger, tongue swirling, and he sucks in an unsteady breath.
"will you be good, angel? can you stay still for me?"
You hum, opening your mouth to say something, but you quickly cut yourself off with a moan when Jeonghan's tongue drags along your slit. He works the wet muscle into you, dipping inside to collect your arousal before spreading it over your clit. His lips suction your aching nerves, tongue prodding it rhythmically, and your back arches off the bed.
Jeonghan's eyes meet yours, his stare warning you to behave. Instantly, your hips settle back, and you try your hardest to keep still.
"good girl," he praises, mumbling into your clit. The vibrations of his voice shoot up your spine, and you feel your nerves sing, now on edge.
A helpless moan escapes you when he slides two fingers inside you, pumping in and out as you squeeze around him. The combined stimulation of his tongue on your clit and those long fingers inside you, has you dangerously close to falling apart.
"H-Hannie fuck don't stop m'so close-" you gasp, grinding your hips onto his face to match the rhythm of his tongue.
His lips curl up into a sickly smirk and you feel you stomach drop. Surely, surely he wouldn't-
"gonna cum?" he grins. The thrust of his fingers begin to slow their pace and his tongue circles the area around your clit.
You push your hips up, chasing his tongue desperately, but to no avail.
"please-"
"please?" he echoes.
"so close"
"mm I could tell"
The sultry edge to his voice has you torn. On one hand, he just denied you of what would've been the best orgasm of your life, while on the other he sounded so fucking sexy being in charge. You couldn't decide whether you wanted to slap him or pull him into a kiss.
Your thighs quiver with the weight of your ebbing orgasm, and you feel tears spill over as it fades into nothing.
"aw, angel," he coos, thumbing away the pearls slipping down your cheeks, "you were right there, weren't you?"
You nod, sniffling away pathetically.
"do you wanna cum?"
You nod again and he tuts.
"what did I sa-"
"yes! yes please- wanna cum, wanna cum so bad Hannie,"
Jeonghan smiles, satisfied, and lowers his face to your cunt, this time shoving three fingers into you without warning and lapping at your clit with such precision you almost came on the spot.
You moan, hands flying to his hair instantly. His tongue flicked at your nerves just right and the stretch of your walls around his fingers felt ungodly.
"d-don't stop please-"
He smirks against your cunt and pushes further, harder. Within minutes you come undone, feeling your body sink into the mattress as your vision turns white from pleasure. Jeonghan fucks you through your orgasm, licking at your juices lazily.
"taste so good" he groans, pulling his fingers out of you and sucking them into his mouth.
The room feels hot. Far hotter than before. You can smell yourself, smell the salty sweat dripping off of you. Jeonghan grins at your dishevelled state, revelling in the way he had you breaking on his tongue.
"still okay?"
"more than okay" you breathe, tugging him by the collar of his shirt, into a filthy kiss. You can taste the remnants of your arousal on his tongue, and it only makes you want him more.
You pull away, panting, and keep your fingers tangled in his shirt.
"you- are far too clothed for my liking."
Jeonghan's eyes crinkle into that smile you fell in love with, and your heart skips a beat. God, he was just so pretty.
"perv," he smiles.
"hey, I'm the naked one-"
"mhm and who's fault is that? didn't you take these off yourself?" he reaches down, grabbing your panties before waving them around.
"god- you're so-"
"handsome? skilled? tempting?"
"just shut up and fuck me already"
Jeonghan steps back, now standing in front of the bed, and pulls his shirt off. You feel your lungs drain.
He was on the slimmer side, so you didn't really expect much, but the sculpted contours of his pectorals and abs told you something else altogether.
"you're staring"
Shamelessly you let your jaw hang open as you sit up to feel his abs.
"m'not staring what are you talking about?"
Your hands trace over his torso, eyes transfixed by how beautiful he looked like this- staring down at you, one hand resting on your hair, cheeks flushed.
He takes hold of your wandering hand and drags it up to the centre of his chest.
"can you feel that?" he asks, voice raspy.
It's his heart.
"that's all for you"
His heart thuds against his chest, pace so quick you'd have thought he was a racehorse.
"I-" you start, unable to find the words.
"c'mere let me take care of you, hm?"
Ridding himself of his shorts and boxers, Jeonghan let's your hand trace over him.
Gently, he lays you down on the bed, making sure your head rests securely between the pillows. He hovers over you, balancing his weight on his forearms.
"might sting just a little, okay?"
You nod, staring up at him with wide, eager eyes.
Slowly, Jeonghan eases himself into you. He was long. Really long. Girth wise, the stretch didn't hurt too much, but god- he was barely halfway in when you started squirming.
"shh, I know, it'll feel good in a minute angel"
Pushing further, he distracts you with a sensual kiss, licking at the seam of your mouth. You grant him entrance, whimpering when he swipes over your tongue.
He bottoms out inside you, and for a moment, you still in his arms.
"that's it, baby," he mumbles against your lips, breathing hard as is to contain himself, "taking me so good"
When he feels you relax around him, he draws his hips back before pushing back into you. His is pace is steady, his thrusts are firm, you swear you've never felt so secure during sex before.
His length kisses your cervix right away and you cry out, back arching off the bed and into his chest. Your nails rake down his back, leaving deep red marks you're sure he'll tease you about tomorrow.
"fuck-" he seethes, thrusting into you, his jaw tense as beads of sweat collect at his temples.
"Han- oh my god-"
The room echoes with your voices- desperate moans and whimpers neither of you can be bothered to contain. Hot, steamy air floods the space, and you can smell his cologne, his skin as he pounds into you.
A hand reaches down to toy with your clit, stretching your lips open, leaving your nerves completely at his mercy. His middle finger dips into you, rubbing lazy circles against your clit, and you cry out his name like it's all you know.
He muffles your cries with his tongue, shoving it into your mouth as you moan and whimper into him. It's hard to breathe, hard to speak, hard to think, but you just can't get enough.
A particularly harsh thrust has you clamping down on him and he groans. His lips trail over to your ear, and he bites gently at the tender flesh of your earlobe.
"you feel like heaven-" he shudders, licking at the shell of your ear.
Your skin lights up, hairs standing on end, and you feel your orgasm building.
His fingers circle your clit faster, and his thrusts move to a brutal pace.
Moaning into each other, you chase your highs, hips bucking eagerly, desperately, as you finally come undone together.
Jeonghan fucks into you, helping you ride your orgasm as he does his own.
There's a long silence as he pushes into you, both you and him wincing from overstimulation. He gazes into your eyes, a soft smile gracing his lips, and kisses you deeply one last time, before pulling out.
Whimpering at the sudden loss, your hips chase him, and he scoffs, an amused look taking over his face.
"you're insatiable- c'mon let's get you cleaned up"
Before you can protest, you find yourself slumped against his chest, carried in his arms like a princess as he walks over to the bathroom.
You're met with an already filled bath, rose petals scattered along the surface of the water, candles lit up and arranged along the room.
"so I uh, I might have planned thi-"
You cut him off with a peck, giggling at his sudden nervousness.
"thank you," you beam as he lowers you into the water, following right after.
"anything for my angel"
#seventeen#seventeen smut#svt smut#smut#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan smut#jeonghan#jeonghan x reader#kpop smut#svt jeonghan#I NEED FEEDBACK PLEASE GOD PLEASE SAY SOMETHING#FOR THE LOVE OF GOD- TELL ME IF YOU LIKED THIS#jeonghan brainrot#he's such a tease#UGHHHHH I NEED HIM SO BAD
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A Chabad synagogue in Pomona, New York, burned to the ground on April 17th, along with its three Torah scrolls.
Torah scrolls are hand-written, hand-made, and kept in elaborately decorated cases or wrappings.
Many of them have long histories; my synagogue has two, I think, that were smuggled out of villages being destroyed in pogroms or in Nazi attacks. One of them is the only remaining piece of that village on earth.
Sometimes, the Torah scroll doesn't even belong to the synagogue, but is on loan from a place like the Memorial Scrolls Trust:
There's an entire Jewish holiday just for taking them out and dancing with them: Simchat Torah, "The Joy of Torah."
In fact, that was the holiday on which Hamas's invasion took place.
instagram
So it's a particular tragedy when a Torah is destroyed.
Chabad itself has a page about what goes into making just one Torah scroll:
"An authentic Torah scroll is a mind-boggling masterpiece of labor and skill. Comprising between 62 and 84 sheets of parchment -- cured, tanned, scraped and prepared according to exacting Torah law specifications -- and containing exactly 304,805 letters, the resulting handwritten scroll takes many months to complete.
"An expert pious scribe carefully inks each letter with a feather quill, under the intricate calligraphic guidelines of Ktav Ashurit (Ashurite Script). The sheets of parchment are then sewn together with sinews to form one long scroll. While most Torah scrolls stand around two feet in height and weigh 20-25 pounds, some are huge and quite heavy, while others are doll-sized and lightweight."
I learned all of this on Tumblr.
Once upon time, in people's "punch Nazis" days, I would've been able to find some mention on Tumblr of this synagogue burning.
There is none, so I'm posting about it.
And I'm going to quote Daniel Weiner, Rabbi of Temple de Hirsch Sinai in Bellevue, Washington, when his own synagogue was vandalized last November:
"It’s horrific and heartbreaking.... [Taking out your feelings about] what's going on in the Middle East by defacing a sacred space of a synagogue -- that’s the very definition of antisemitism."
I'm also posting about the Kehillat Shaarei Torah Synagogue in Toronto, whose windows were broken on Friday, April 19th, by someone who also tried to break the front door down.
And the April 15 graffiti outside a Bangor, Maine synagogue that said, "Nazi Israel 30K murdered," next to a crossed-out Star of David. The same synagogue faced pro-Hamas flyers plastered around it in November.
I was going to include all the synagogues vandalized over the past six months. But there are way too many. Several every week. Lots are swastikas.
I'll go back to just doing attacks on and near synagogues.
Someone has to talk about the 1-year-old who was stabbed outside Temple Beth Zion-Beth Israel (BZBI) synagogue, in Philadelphia, on April 13th.
The foiled terrorist attack on a Moscow synagogue on April 11th.
The man who, on April 9th, screamed at the rabbi at Moldova's Great Synagogue, "What are you doing here? How come no one has finished you off for everything you are doing to the Palestinians?" Just one week after people had vandalized a Holocaust memorial in nearby Soroka, and sprayed "Free Palestine" on it.
The Oldenburg, Germany synagogue that was firebombed on April 5th.
The Florida Las Olas Chabad Jewish Center, which on March 16 burned, but not to the ground. The Torah scrolls were safe, and no one was hurt, but the back of the building was severely damaged.
The planned-but-thwarted-on-March-7th ISIS massacre in a Moscow synagogue.
The stabbing of an Orthodox Jew in Switzerland on March 5th. (He was badly injured, but expected to survive.)
A man leaving a synagogue in Paris was beaten on March 3rd.
People set the courtyard of a synagogue in Sfax, Tunisia on fire on February 27th. Firefighters managed to put the fire out before it consumed the inside of the building.
The synagogue is no longer used; there are no Jews left in its area, and fewer than 1,000 Jews left in Tunisia overall.
(Thousands of Tunisian Jews were sent to work camps during the Holocaust. Antisemitism across the Middle East continued to increase rapidly for decades. By the 1970s, 90% of Tunisian Jews had fled to France or Israel.)
On February 18, an Orthodox Jew leaving Synagogue of Inverrary-Chabad in Lauderhill, Florida, was beaten by an attacker yelling racial slurs.
Someone deliberately chose International Holocaust Remembrance Day, January 27, to smash all the windows in the front of Sgoolai Israel Synagogue in downtown Fredericton, New Brunswick.
On December 29, Turkey arrested 32 people linked to ISIS who were planning attacks on synagogues and churches.
On December 17, a man drove a U-Haul truck up onto the sidewalk between a barrier and the front door of the Kesher Israel Congregation in Washington D.C., got out, and started yelling "Gas the Jews." He also sprayed a foul-smelling substance on two people leaving the synagogue.
December 17 also saw 400 synagogues across the United States receive bomb threats.
On December 11, a man attacked an elderly couple on their way into a synagogue in Los Angeles, screaming, "Give me your earrings, Jew!!" and beating one of them bloody with a belt. (Happily, he chased the guy down the street, and caught him when his pants fell down.)
On December 10, a 16-year-old was arrested in Vienna for planning an attack on a synagogue.
On December 8, on the first night of Hanukkah, 15 synagogues in New York State received bomb threats. And someone screamed, "Free Palestine," and fired shots outside of Temple Israel in Albany, NY. Which has a preschool that was in session.
Meanwhile, the five Jews left in Egypt were canceling public Hanukkah candle-lighting at their synagogue out of fear of reprisals. Particularly after two Israelis in Alexandria had been gunned down by terrorists on October 8. (While Israel was still fighting Hamas in Israel.)
On November 15, a terrorist group set the only synagogue in Armenia on fire.
Armenian Secret Army for the Liberation of Armenia (ASALA) has a history of working with the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP).
(PFLP is part of Hamas's network of groups. Samidoun is their nonprofit arm - which is why Germany banned Samidoun last year, although it's still active in many other countries.
PFLP is also actively supported by the Palestinian Youth Movement (PYM), a diaspora nonprofit group, and Within Our Lifetime (WOL), an SJP spinoff in NYC.)
On November 11, halfway through Shabbat services, police asked Central Shul in Melbourne, Australia to evacuate "as a precaution" due to a "pro-Palestinian" protest that had chosen the neighboring park as its gathering place. Australia has seen some very outspoken antisemitism at protests, including the march shortly after October 7 that chanted "Gas the Jews."
Also on November 11, protesters targeted a synagogue along a march route. They sat in their cars, spraying green smoke and shouting at people leaving the synagogue. The march itself featured a record number of horrifying signs and chants.
On November 7th, Congregation Beth Tikvah in Montreal was firebombed, and the back door of the Jewish organization across the street (Federation CJA) was set on fire.
On November 4, protesters chanted "Bomb Israel," and burned an Israeli flag outside the only synagogue in Malmo, Sweden.
During October, there were 501 antisemitic acts under investigation in France in just three weeks, including groups gathering in front of synagogues shouting threats, and graffiti such as the words “killing Jews is a duty” sprayed outside a stadium.
On October 18, people firebombed a synagogue in Berlin after homes all over the neighborhood were graffitied with stars of David.
And also on October 18, hundreds of "pro-Palestine" rioters attacked the Or Zaruah Synagogue, in the Spanish enclave of Melilla in North Africa, while worshippers were inside.
Based on the video, they seem to have blocked the synagogue entrance completely, while screaming "Murderous Israel" and waving Palestinian flags. (Melilla is an autonomous zone belonging to Spain. It borders Morocco.)
On October 17, during pro-Palestinian protests, hundreds of rioters set fire to Al Hammah synagogue, an abandoned house of prayer in central Tunisia. They hammered down the building’s walls and raised a Palestinian flag on the building. Police did not intervene.
The Facebook page "Tunigate", which has around 88 thousand followers, published a video of the assault. So did "Radio Bousalem”, with 83 thousand users. The vast majority of comments on these videos welcome these acts. The building was severely damaged and almost completely razed to the ground.
On October 15, bomb threats were sent to many East Coast synagogues. Attleboro synagogue Congregation Agudas-Achim received one of the emails, which read, "The bombs will blow up in a few hours. A lot of people will die. You all deserve to die."
On October 8 -- again, while Hamas was still in Israel -- Madrid’s main synagogue was defaced with graffiti that read “Free Palestine” next to a crossed-out Star of David.
And on October 7, an assailant in Rockland, NY fired a BB gun at two women entering a synagogue. Later in the month, a banner at the Stephen Wise Free Synagogue in the area was vandalized with the words, “Fuckin kikes."
#if you have used “Free Palestine” as if it's a sort of verbal assault you can shout in comments or scribble over flyers#if you are unwilling to hear what the Jewish term Zionism means to the people who use it#if you cannot name one Palestinian human rights activist#and most of all if you don't know how Hamas abuses Palestinians and you still think it's The Resistance#then you. are. the. problem.#if you don't know people in gaza have been protesting Hamas and blaming it for deliberately instigating a war they don't want#if you don't know how often they've spoken out about Hamas stealing aid and selling it to them#and especially if you don't want to believe me much less find Palestinians in Gaza to listen to#also if you didn't know about any of the stuff in this post BUT you have taken it upon yourself to tell Jews that “it's not antisemitism”#like seriously everyone deal with your learned distrust of Jews challenge#wall of words#fire tw#guns tw#violence tw#Instagram
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as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·゚misa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (2/-)
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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.
or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous
fic: see my masterlist 🤍
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yourusername: here's to being free & having the best girlfriends in the entire world 💅🏽 Liked by ingridengen, begovargas, alexiaputellas and 1,193 others
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bff1 ilysm 😫 liked by yourusername ↳ bff1 admit it, im your favourite ↳ yourusername only when you don't talk
albaps9 but not a singular gf (yet) ↳ yourusername bruja🖕
bff2 Three seconds before the chair fell backwards ↳ yourusername i had the softest fall ever 🙃
bff3 sistaaaars 👩👩👧👧 ↳ yourusername amuck amuck amuck ↳ bff1 who are the two little ones in the front? ↳ bff2 You're one of them, ofc ↳ bff1 because of my height?? ↳ yourusername hey, if the shoe fits 🤷♀️
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↳ 1h ago: yourusername added to their story
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↳ 10min ago: albaps9 added to their story
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↳ 54secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 31secs ago: yourusername just added to their story ↳ 12 secs ago: yourusername just added to their story
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tagged: albaps9 yourusername: here's to having the best sister(s) in the entire world and having the worst ex (read: don't bother me again😊) Liked by: albaps9, alexiaputellas, laurafreigang and 899 others
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albaps9 still think you should've burned those roses ↳ yourusername they were innocent 😭 ↳ albaps9 also, next dinner's on you liked by yourusername ↳ yourusername i love you.
bff1 girlie that third one! 💅🏽 ↳ yourusername 😇
bff2 Do you have leftovers bc then i'm coming over tomorrow ↳ yourusername no but pls come, we can order in!! ↳ bff3 can I come over too? 🥺 ↳ yourusername duh 🥺 ↳ bff1 umm, helloooo? me? ↳ yourusername 🤣
bff2 Don't think your ex survived this burn btw liked by yourusername ↳ albaps9 one less shithead taking up space!
alexiaputellas Hermanita ❤️ liked by yourusername ↳ yourusername te quiero
marialeonn16 Another godly plate of 🍝 ↳ yourusername it really was 😭 ↳ marialeonn16 Invite me next time 🤬 ↳ yourusername i'll text you the restaurant so you can take ingrid!!
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marisabel_rguez: Having fun 😁🙃 Liked by haleyraso, asllani9, sofie.svava and 15,289 others
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haleyraso 💪🏼 liked by marisabel_rguez
yourusername i think this is first time i've seen you smile on the field 🧐 ↳ marisabel_rguez Maybe you just haven't watched me play enough! ↳ yourusername did you at least save the ball? ↳ marisabel_rguez Of course! 😉 ↳ yourusername i'll believe it when i see it ↳ marisabel_rguez Challenge accepted! 😎
signebruun20 🐑 ↳ olgacarmona7 that's a sheep ↳ carolinemoller_ beeee 🐐
username1 Um, hi, hello, can't be the only one seeing this? ↳ username2 misa finally not getting ignored by little putellas? and getting FLIRTED with? ↳ username3 🤣 ↳ username4 That's playful banter in my book ↳ username2 tomato tomato ↳ username1 me thinking something happened when they all went out the other day for them to acknowledge each other now 👉👈 ↳ username4 Tone it down, this is yn's first time commenting ↳ username3 exactly, which means the u-haul truck is coming next 🤣
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yourusername: aaaand the mystery continues. Liked by janafernandez3, albaps9, marialeonn16 and 1,002 others
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salmaparalluelo Note?? ↳ yourusername no 😔
albaps9 how can someone who's single make ME feel SINGLE???
jennihermoso I've been way too invested in this for weeks now 😂
marisabel_rguez 😮🌸
bff1 i think i know 😏 ↳ bff2 SPILL ↳ bff1 texts!! ↳ albaps9 let me in on this?? ↳ yourusername how about you tell ME first? ↳ bff1 honestly woman, how haven't you figured it out yet?
janafernandez3 This is still way too cute 😊 liked by ingridengen
marialeonn16 Getting closer and closer to the shovel talk 😈 ↳ alexiaputellas What are you talking about 🤨
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↳ 31min ago: yourusername added to their story
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marisabel_rguez: Happy with the points. Focus on the next game ⚽️🤛😁 Liked by realmadridfem, yourusername, atheeneeaa_10 and 15,299 others
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yourusername alright, you won the challenge ↳ marisabel_rguez What's my prize? ↳ yourusername bragging rights! 😚 ↳ marisabel_rguez ☹️ liked by yourusername
username1 I KNEW I SAW YN!! ↳ username2 she was there?? ↳ username1 Yeah, sitting in the family section but she was wearing sunnies and a cap ↳ username3 Why was she trying to be incognito tho? ↳ username4 never mind why she was, why was she THERE? at a REAL MADRID match?? when her family BREATHES barça??? ↳ username1 excuse my surprised pikachu face ↳ username2 probably why she was incognito then 😅 💙💔💛 ↳ username5 never mind why she was there, why are they FLIRTING in the comment section??? AGAIN? ↳ username6 that's not flirting 🤣 ↳ username4 shut up, debby downer
ivanaandres5 🙌
signebruun20 🐐
carolinemoller_ 🐐 ↳ signebruun20 copycat 😤 ↳ carolinemoller_ beeeee 🐑
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↳ 8min ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story
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↳ 48secs ago: marisabel_rguez just added to their story
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yourusername: barcelona, i fall in love with exploring you every day ✨ Liked by marisabel_rguez, alexiaputellas, liekemartens and 1,203 others
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liekemartens I miss it and I miss you! ↳ yourusername me too, come back soon. bring your hubby 😘
marisabel_rguez 📸🤝
marisabel_rguez ❤️ liked by yourusername
username1 misa 👀 liked by 120 others
begovergas Barça adventure when? ↳ yourusername i'm free in three weeks! ↳ begovargas Texts! 😙
jafahernandez3 The best city 😊 liked by yourusername
ingridengen 💘 liked by yourusername
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marisabel_rguez: Royalty. Liked by yourusername, bff2, alexiaputellas and 14,596 others
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username1 Am I seeing double?
username2 same locations, no? ↳ username3 😮👀
jennihermoso You forgot your crown 👑 liked by marisabel_rguez
alexiaputellas Next time you're around, visit us! ↳ marisabel_rguez I will! 😅
yourusername 📸🤝 liked by marisabel_rguez
yourusername i think i've been in that place before! 🤨 liked by marisabel_rguez and 50 others
bff1 Loved meeting you 🤩 This comment is no longer available liked by marisabel_rguez ↳ bff2 SCAT! SCOOT! SCRAM! SKIDDOO! ↳ bff3 "why doesn't anyone ever tell my anything?": 😑
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tagged: alexiaputellas, fridolinarolfo, sanpanos yourusername: guess it was about time i got my first tattoo together with my three favourite mr gadgets to keep me company 😍 Liked by marisabel_rguez, bff3, fridolinarolfo and 1,693 others
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marisabel_rguez 😯🔥 liked by yourusername ↳ marisabel_rguez Really curious now!! ↳ yourusername 😌 ↳ marisabel_rguez 😣 ↳ yourusername it's not really in a place for people i'm not close to This comment is no longer available ↳ yourusername which means you're one of the lucky few who'll ever get to see it This comment is no longer available
alexiaputellas And you didn't even flinch! 😁 ↳ yourusername you're acting as if i haven't always been the toughest putellas 😤 ↳ albaps9 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ↳ alexiaputellas 😂😆 ↳ yourusername 😪 ↳ alexiaputellas It's a really beautiful tattoo 😘 ↳ yourusername thank you ale 😊
albaps9 for the next one, i'll be thereeee! coming over as we speak to come and see it 😌 liked by yourusername
bff2 I legit love it so much 😔💔 liked by yourusername
marialeonn16 If you ever want another one... 🤝 liked by yourusername
ona.battle Ohh, what did you get! ↳ yourusername i'll send you a pic! 😇
bff1 pic pic pic! ↳ yourusername no nudes on this page 🙅♀️ ↳ bff1 ruins all the fun ↳ yourusername voyeur
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realmadridfem: Misa Rodriguez is out of play due to illness and misses the next few matches. Get well soon! Liked by marisabel_rguez, haleyraso, olgacarmona7 and 9,248 others
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marisabel_rguez Gracias ❤️ ↳ haleyraso Coming back stronger than ever, I bet 🤝 ↳ marisabel_rguez You got it 😁 liked by realmadridfem
username1 Get well soon, Misa!
username2 feel better 😔
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olgacarmona7 ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
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jennihermoso Better not miss national camp, missy! ↳ marisabel_rguez Not in the plans! What would you do without me? 😆 ↳ jennihermoso Have a lot less fun, that's for sure!
username4 well shit ↳ username5 Pretty sure her health is more important, no? ↳ username4 ofc, just mean she's important to real's success, too ❤️
carolinemoller_ Even goats need to rest from time to time!
sofie.svava Get better soon, champ!
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yourusername: feeling sicky poo. flu is killing me. but i got sent flowers (thank you 😉), have leftover pizza (i can't taste) and the best of friends keeping me company (who i've tried to kick out bc else they will also be sick in 1-5 business days). Liked by mikkykiemeney, bff1, ingridengen and 982 others
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salmaparalluelo you mean... flowers? ↳ yourusername yes... ↳ salmaparalluelo note??? ↳ yourusername 😶 ↳ salmaparalluelo OMG!!!??? ↳ albaps9 and i'm only hearing this right now because?? ↳ yourusername chill, i still don't know who it is ↳ albaps9 but the note?? ↳ yourusername was anonymous ): ↳ albaps9 what did it say? ↳ yourusername i'll text you.
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username4 Sus!!!!
bff1 yk, they usually also call this the kissing disease but you do you, ig. liked by albaps9 ↳ albaps9 you're telling me... that...- ↳ bff1 yes 😗 ↳ bff2 OUT! 🥊
username5 🤨
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username6 Anyone else connecting the dots???
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bff1 stop scrolling through insta, we're waiting 🙄 ↳ bff1 oh but maybe order some takeout while you're at it 😇 ↳ bff2 You're hungry AGAIN? ↳ bff1 we haven't had dessert???? ↳ bff3 Feeling so left out rn 💔 ↳ bff2 We can't all be in Barbados with a hot man 🤑 liked by bff3 ↳ bff3 Get well soon (in advance) lovelies 🤕 ↳ bff1 thank you! now go back and make us aunties 🤟 ↳ yourusername i'm going to put a leash on her one of these days ↳ bff2 Or one of those electric collars. Each comment, ZAP! Immediate shut up. Effective! ↳ bff1 ohhh i think i'd be into that ↳ bff3 I'm getting out of here!!!! Byeeee 🙄😘
username7 coincidence? i think tf not
aitanabonmati Que les vaya bien a todos. liked by yourusername
jennihermoso Feel better, little one! liked by yourusername
username8 lol not a flu exposing them 😂 liked by 134 others
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*sighs a bit* Okay. Guys. I have been asked this question a lot, and answered it a lot. I don't know how to give a better answer — Dru & Ty&Kit share significance as main characters — so I guess I'll talk a little about comparison and structures.
First, all series have different structures. I don't think it's super useful or predictive to try to map an upcoming, unknown book series onto an existing series. In TLH the main character was Cordelia, everyone else was secondary to her, and people's roles and the significance of them altered from book to book. It was a big ensemble cast and they mostly stayed put in London especially in book 1.
TWP focuses on a smaller group of people. It also has a very different structure. In book one, Dru is not with Kit and Ty. They are in different places, both of which have their own stories that are significant to the plot. There is no way to see Place One without following Dru. There is no way to see Place Two without following Kit and Ty.
I know that TWP is a long way off. I know there are people who are very angry with me that there's such a gap, but there isn't anything currently I can do about that, or about the fact that I don't yet have the schedule for my upcoming books. That rests in the hands of several different publishers who must coordinate the release times and production schedules for four different series. I am not withholding any information about when these books come out. I simply don't know it yet.
I understand that TWP being a long way off makes for anxiety, and that those who are worried Kit and Ty will somehow be secondary are looking for tiny clues in microscopic details — micro-reading the of placement of the word "and" in my newsletter and such — that are meaningless, but I get that it all comes from anxiety. (FTR, those worried Dru will be secondary are equally anxious.)
I think there is only so much I can say. Because there's a big gap between TLH and TWP everything I do say or every image or hint about it is freighted with a weight of assumption it can't really support. Anxiety is always going to trump reassurance. And truly, at the end of the day, if you only care about Kit and Ty and find the idea of a Dru story tiresome, you will feel like they got shafted because when you absolutely hate a plotline, you will always feel like it's taking up way too much space. That's just how our minds work.
I've been doing this long enough that I know no book can survive a hostile reading. I know that Book Three of a trilogy is the one people hate until they don't. (When Clockwork Princess came out people hated it so much I considered quitting writing!) I know that it's wonderful to love a character but can also be a problem for people when I put out books that aren't about that particular character or dynamic. I know that for a lot of people, Sword Catcher and Ragpicker King are just tiresome things that have no business on my schedule because they're not Shadowhunter books. And I get it. But I also have to block it out, because I've been writing a long time, and I've gotten to a point where I know that I have to write the thing I want to be writing, because if I don't, if I sit down and try to force myself to write something I'm not feeling like writing at that time, I'll be making myself physically and mentally sick. And that's no good for anyone, really.
I suppose the positive thing is that, while this would not have been true five years ago, I am at the place where I want very much to be writing Wicked Powers. I missed these characters and am glad to be back with them. I consider this a story in which there are three main characters. And that is all I can say right now because it's all that I know.
(And this was much more of a general response to a lot of things than a specific response to this question, but I did feel like it was stuff that I needed to say. Creators are at the end of the day, just people. Sometimes we are powerless to reassure. Sometimes we are tired. Sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes we try things and they don't work. Sometimes we can't explain to you what our story is going to make you feel, because only reading it is going to tell you that. This may be one of those times.)
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Part 2: And Even Now
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11
Because I'll never let this go (but I can't find the words to tell you)
(In which a deadline-averse writer actually lives up to a weekly deadline)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Pining, A little bit of fluff I guess?
Words: 6.9K (back to my usual)
TW: Swearing (I think that's it?)
A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Happy Monday! Nobody get used to me actually updating on a proper weekly basis because really, let's be honest you're all lowkey shocked I'm actually living up to this too but we'll see how long I can make it last. As you read, let's just all remember my favorite three words: For. The. Plot! Editing and I continue to be sworn enemies so you'll definitely find typos along the way and feel free to point them out so that I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see next. Have a wonderful rest of your week my loves <3
February 2033
Azzi’s heart is beating a million miles per minute as she gets into her car. She’s just invited Paige into her world and even if she knows that it was the right thing to do for her team, the full force of what she’s just done is starting to hit her. The plan had been the exact opposite. In fact the plan had been to avoid Paige at all costs while she was here in Oakland. Azzi had spent nearly a decade building this new world of hers that was devoid of anything Paige and it had taken Ohemaa an hour, explaining why Paige was the last domino they needed to fall to win a championship, to convince Azzi to bulldoze her own walls.
Banging her head against the steering wheel, Azzi lets out a frustrated scream. She’d been the picture of calm and composed while talking to Paige, but internally an earthquake had started rumbling within her the minute she’d finally laid eyes on the blonde. It was unfair that age seemed to have no effect on Paige, unfair that she still made Azzi’s stomach do somersaults, unfair that that stupid smirk made Azzi nostalgic for a feeling she used to call home. It’s funny really. There was a time in Azzi’s life where she didn’t know how she’d survive without seeing Paige every day. But now if the blonde does accept her offer, Azzi thinks, seeing Paige every day, might just be her poison ivy.
The sound of her car doors opening shakes Azzi out of her pity party, as she rushes to compose herself before Stephie sees her. Through the rear view mirror, she watches as her daughter happily climbs into her car seat, a giddy smile on her face. And all the stress and anxiety seems to evaporate.
“What’s got you so happy Stephie bean? What did you and Aunty Leen do?” Azzi asks, so focused on Stephie’s grin, that she misses Colleen, who’s just let herself into the passenger seat, shaking her head.
“Aunty Leen lost me,” Stephie says coyly and Azzi immediately turns to Colleen whose head whips around to look at the little girl in the back seat.
“Stephanie Katarina Fudd are you lying on my good name?” she hisses.
“Stephie,” Azzi chides, catching on quickly “did you run away from Aunty Leen again?”
“She was boring me Mama,” Stephie whines, sticking her tongue out at Colleen, “and if I didn’t run away, then I wouldn’t have met Miss Buecks.”
Oh.
She told me she thinks I’d look good in purple.
Azzi’s breath hitches in her throat. She hadn’t quite registered that Paige’s words from before meant that she must have met Stephie, too busy finding a way to get out of the gym that was starting to feel just a little too hot. It only clicks now as Stephie starts to ramble about how she’d ran into a stranger in the chill room. But it’s not the idea of Stephie and Paige meeting that sends a shiver creeping up Azzi’s spine. No, it’s that enamored smile on Stephie’s face. It’s the way Azzi’s little girl’s eyes light up just saying those two syllables Miss Buecks. Maybe it’s genetic or perhaps just a Fudd family fatal flaw but Azzi can see a fourteen year old version of herself, blooming in Stephie. She’d hidden it well, behind exasperated head shakes and exaggerated eye rolls but falling in love with Paige Bueckers had been just a little to easy back then. Apparently, it still was.
“She was really nice Mama,” Stephie gushes and Azzi’s hand tightens on the steering wheel, “is she gonna come play for your team? I told her she should.”
“So I heard,” Azzi murmurs and she can feel Colleen’s eyes immediately shifting to look at her.
“You talked to Paige?” Azzi’s best friend asks, a skeptical lilt in her voice.
Azzi shrugs, “I ran into her in the gym.”
“And what exactly were you doing in the gym?”
“Looking for Paige,” Azzi says sheepishly as Collen makes an indiscernible noise.
“Did you ask her to join your team Mama?” Stephie chimes in eagerly from the back, unaware of the way that the childlike hope in her voice is putting her mother on edge. Azzi has built an impenetrable fortress around her own heart but she’d never considered that perhaps she should have built a moat around Stephie’s too.
“Yeah baby, I did,” Azzi admits slowly and this time Colleen lets an audible gasp, except it’s drowned out by a series of exhilarated squeals erupting from the backseat.
“MISS BUECKS IS GONNA JOIN MAMA’S TEAM,” Stephie screams, practically bouncing on her seat as she begins to repeat the phrase in a sing-song voice.
“Hold your horses, kid. She hasn’t said yes yet,” Azzi warns.
Stephie smiles secretly, “but she will Mama, I know she will.”
It makes Azzi feel lightheaded, the amount of trust Stephie seems to already have in a stranger. There’s a part of her that wants to crawl into her daughter’s mind and erase the memory of blonde hair and blue eyes because she knows, she knows better than anyone, that once you walk through that door, there is no coming back. And Paige would never willingly hurt Stephie -even after a decade apart Azzi has that much faith in the blonde- but that doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t break her heart any way.
Colleen turns to Azzi, a look of unmistakable concern on her face as she makes a show of putting her hand against the darker-skinned girl’s forehead, “are you feeling okay?”
“Oh fudge off,” Azzi groans, swatting away her best friend’s hand
“Azzi let me get this straight, you’re telling me you asked your e-x-g-i-r-l-f-r-i-e-n-d to join your team?”
“Look at you spelling Col, I’m so proud of you-”
“Don’t start,” Colleen shoots her a look and Azzi sighs, “what happened to going into Ohemaa’s office and making sure that didn’t happen?”
“I did what I had to,” Azzi shrugs, “I put the team first.”
“And what about-”
“Colleen please,” Azzi begs softly, a wave of tiredness washing over her, “it’s done okay. And it might not even matter. She might not even say yes.”
Colleen opens her mouth and then sighs, seeing something in Azzi’s face that convinces her not to push. There isn’t anyone else in the world who knows Azzi better than her best friend, except maybe the woman they’re talking about. Paige would’ve pushed, she always had. Pushed and pushed until Azzi was letting herself free fall off a cliff, only harnessed by Paige’s promise to catch her before she hit the ground. And then one day Azzi had unclipped the harness, and it was their relationship that had come crashing down.
“Mama,” Stephie’s inquisitive voice calls from behind and Azzi hums in response, starting up her car, “you knew Miss Bueckers when she was littler right?”
“I knew her when she was younger,” Azzi corrects gently and knew feels like an understatement. They’d lived in each other’s skin, carving themselves onto parts of each other they hadn’t even known existed until the other had come along.
“Same thing Mama,” Stephie huffs, “was she still so pretty then?”
And as pictures of a younger Paige, beautiful and vibrant like the sun shining on the pavement after a thunderstorm, dance through her mind, Azzi can’t stop the soft smile that flitters across her face.
“She’s always been the prettiest.”
***
Paige isn’t feeling particularly talkative when her phone rings, Talia’s name flashing on the CallerID. Her senses are still drowned in all things Azzi and she’s not quite ready to be rescued from the ocean of memories that have suddenly flooded her entire being. She wants to lose herself in them, let herself be drawn back to what was. Paige has spent the better part of the last decade running away from her past but today, for the first time, all she wants is to let this slideshow of nostalgia keep on playing through her mind.
“Talia if you’re calling just to say I told you so,” Paige sneers into the phone, finally picking it up after the ringing starts to give her a mild headache. She’d texted Thalia almost immediately after speaking to Azzi, a simple i think i could make the Valks work, purposely leaving out what, or more precisely who, had convinced her.
“I would never,” Talia says with a hint of amusement, “if I started telling you I told you so after every time I was right, I fear I’d never have anything else to say to you because I am in fact, always right.”
Paige rolls her eyes, “alright then if you’re done gloating.”
“I didn’t call to gloat,” the manager’s voice is more serious now, “I called to tell you that I talked to the Liberty and they have an offer.”
“The Liberty don’t have cap space,” Paige says slowly, stomach suddenly queasy.
“They don’t have cap space this season,” Talia corrects, “but things are gonna change for them with Sabrina retiring after this season and they can move a couple of other things around to give us what we want next season.”
“What exactly are you saying?”
“I’m saying that the Valkyries don’t have to be anything more than a pit stop. I know I pressured you into this but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been trying to figure something else out for you behind the scenes.”
“And I assume you’ve talked to Ohemaa too then?”
Talia scoffs, “do I look like an amateur agent to you? Of course I have. This works for them too. If all goes to plan, they have the rights to Atlanta’s #3 pick in the draft and if the mocks have gotten it right, they’ll get Angie Davis.”
“The Stanford PG,” Paige breathes out.
“Exactly. She’ll get a year developing under you and then hopefully they won’t need you next year. And you won’t need them. Everybody wins.”
It sounds like the perfect solution. The Valkyrie’s would get what they need out of her and she’d get what she needed out of them. Then they’d part ways and Paige’s past would no longer be a factor in her present once she got to New York. One year and then everything would fall into place the way she’d wanted it to. It should fill her with excitement or relief or maybe even both but instead Paige feels nothing but unease, like she’s sealing herself to a fate of never truly having a home.
She rubs a tired hand across her face, “what if I don’t want to leave after a year?”
“Then we can talk about it in a year. You’re not signing anything other than a one-year contract with the Valkyries right now and letting both them and the Liberty know that you're keeping your options open,” Talia says, her tone perfectly business-like.
“Good,” Paige lets out a small sigh of relief at knowing she isn’t about to get herself legally bound to anything, “that’s good.”
“Why don’t you sound more happy about this Paige?” an irritated timbre slips into Talia’s words, “you were practically begging me to find you a way out of this and now that I have, it seems like you would rather I hadn’t.”
“The Valkyries are a good organization. Good front office, good GM, good coach, good facilities and you know how much I’ve always loved the Bay Area. Every time we’ve come here to play, the atmosphere has always been amazing. This place breathes basketball and I just wanna be a part of that,” and Paige means every word of it, even if there are other reasons at play.
“But you already knew all of that before you went down there Paige so cut the bullshit. Why exactly are you suddenly on board with all of this?” Talia asks, her voice hardening and Paige hates that her manager, who had really been more of a friend for the last couple of years, knows her just a little too well.
“I met someone-”
“Oh fucking hell,” Talia groans, “please tell me you’re not making career decisions with your pussy.”
“Don’t be crude Talia. After all these years, I think you’d know me better than that. I met a little girl,” an uncontrollably smitten grin flickers across Paige’s face as she thinks back to her conversation with Stephie, “and she- she made some good points about why I should be a Golden State Valkyrie. You’d be surprised how smart little kids are these days.”
Thalia’s voice is drenched in skepticism when she speaks again, “you met a little girl? Where?”
“At the Valkyries training facilities,” as soon as she says it Paige wishes she’d lied.
“What was a little girl doing at-,” another loud groan echoes through Paige’s phone and she can practically picture her agent fighting back the urge to facepalm, “please tell me you’re not talking about Azzi Fudd’s daughter.”
“I can’t tell you that,” Paige says, trying to keep her voice light.
“Jesus fucking christ Paige so you are thinking with your pussy then. You’re telling me you wanna join GSV because your ex-girlfriend’s daughter thinks you should? Do you hear how insane that sounds?”
No, Paige thinks, I want to join because my ex-girlfriend thinks I should. Except she’s pretty sure that wouldn’t go over any better with Talia. She knows it sounds insane, knows it’s a little pathetic the power Azzi still has over her, knows that it should have taken more than just Azzi’s little speech to change her adamant no into a resounding yes. But the truth is that the only good reason she’d even had to not want to go to GSV, was rooted in Azzi and once Azzi had removed that barrier, the decision had never seemed clearer.
“You said it yourself Tals. It’s been years. This isn’t about her and me. It’s about basketball and it’s about winning,” Paige says finally, even if the words don’t sit sound right as they waterfall out of her mouth.
“So this has nothing to do with Azzi Fudd?” Talia inquires.
“Nothing other than the fact that she’s the best shooting guard in the country and together we can be the best backcourt in the WNBA. Azzi Fudd,” it’s the first time Paige has said her name in a long time and it ignites a fire on the tip of her tongue “is my past and she’ll never be anything more than a future teammate, not again. Besides,” Paige’s stomach churns as the next words leave her mouth, “like you said. GSV doesn’t have to be anything more than a temporary pit stop.”
***
Putting away her weights, Azzi uses her forearm to wipe away the beads of sweat forming on her forehead. She hides a smile as her eyes fall on Stephie. A look of pure concentration marks her daughter’s face as she puts her full little body into lifting a set of 2kg weights. It’s become their Sunday routine. Azzi comes to the Valkyrie’s fitness center to train and Stephie follows along, pitter pattering behind Azzi and trying to mimic every exercise her mother attempts.
“Mama,” Stephie gushes as she catches Azzi’s eyes in the mirror, “I did twenty today. I think I can do the 3kg ones next time.”
Azzi laughs, walking over and bending down to give the little girl a high-5, “oh yeah? You think you’re ready to move onto the next level.”
“Yeah I am!” Stephie cheers, trying to flex her biceps, “look how big they’re getting.”
“Oh my god baby they’re almost bigger than mine,” Azzi says dramatically, flexing her own arms right next to Stephie’s.
“Just give me a year,” Stephie promises, giggling as she wraps her arms around her mother’s neck, “I’m gonna be the strongest Fudd.”
Azzi lifts her up with ease, pressing a delicate kiss against her daughter’s hair as the little girl settles into her side, hands immediately playing with the “S” necklace around Azzi’s neck.
“When Miss Buecks joins your team, do you think she can come ex-cise with us too?” Stephie asks shyly and Azzi sighs as she grabs for her gym bag.
She should have expected the question really. In the hours that had passed since Stephie had met Paige, the older woman’s name seemed to have risen to the top of the little girl’s vocabulary. Every little thing they’d done since had been accompanied by the mention of Miss Buecks, either a plea to have Paige join them next time or Stephie gushing about how she just knew Miss Buecks would be good at this too.
“You know kid, I’m beginning to think you might like Miss Buecks more than me,” Azzi teases with a lightheartedness she doesn’t feel. But she won’t let her own discomfort bleed into Stephie’s excitement.
“Don’t be silly Mama,” Stephie pulls at Azzi’s cheeks, “you’ll always be my favoritest.”
Don’t worry Az, you’ll always be my most favorite. It’s Paige's voice that echoes through her mind, casual and carefree and so, so honest. And she needs to stop doing this, needs to stop her brain from tying her present to the threads of her past, needs to stop her heart from letting Stephie and Paige be pieces of the same puzzle. It’s a dangerous wish she’d let bloom in secret for years but not all wishes are meant to come true, some are meant to tragically wilter in the darkness until they turn into a wistful what if.
A shrill “MISS BUECKS,” breaks Azzi out of her thoughts as the child in her arms starts to wriggle out of her grasp the minute they step out of the fitness center. As soon as Stephie manages to get on the ground, she’s running before Azzi can get a word out to stop her. And all Azzi can do is watch as Paige turns around at the call of her name, neutral face breaking into a luminescent smile as she catches sight of Stephie running towards her.
“MISS BUECKS,” Stephie squeals again, tiny hands outstretched as she picks up speed.
“STEPHIE,” Paige matches the excitement in the little girl’s voice, swinging her into her arms and spinning her around before finally holding her firm against her hip.
“I missed you,” Stephie confesses, “did you miss me?”
Paige's eyes soften as she nuzzles Stephies nose, “of course I did.”
Azzi feels paralyzed as she watches the scene unfold in front of her. Stephie excitedly chatters about some random topic and Paige seems mesmerized by the most mundane stories. And Azzi’s not sure if she’s floating or sinking, but she knows if she lets them, the tears begging to be released from her eyes could flood everything around her. Her hands fist of their own accord as she takes a step towards Paige and Stephie and it’s like a nightmare and a daydream all at once.
“Mama look,” Stephie notices her first, “Miss Buecks is here.”
Paige looks over Stephie’s head and as cerulean blue eyes pierce into Azzi’s dark brown ones, she wonders if Paige is thinking of it too, of the future they used to talk about while curled up in one of their UConn dorms as their hands traced forever into each other’s palms.
“I can see that Steph,” she musters up a polite smile, “Hi Paige.”
She gets an equally polite smile back in return, “Hi Azzi.”
Her name sounds different on Paige’s lips and Azzi misses the way Paige’s eyes used to twinkle just saying it, the way her lips would curl around that one word like it carried the meaning of life itself.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie turns Paige’s face away from Azzi, hand resting against her cheek, “did you say yes to joining Mama’s team?”
Paige’s eyes flicker towards Azzi again, before coming back to rest on the hopeful little girl, “I did. I just signed the contract.”
Stephie screams, arms wrapping around Paige’s neck and Azzi expects Paige to at least flinch, but the blonde simply laughs, hugging Azzi’s little girl back with equal fervor.
“I take it you’re happy,” Paige whispers.
“I’m-,” Stephie crawls out from Paige’s neck to look at Azzi, “Mama what’s that big word you use es-est-”
“Ecstatic,” Azzi whispers, trying to pretend that Paige’s announcement hasn’t knocked the wind out of her. Hell has just become official and Azzi had personally invited it.
“I’m es-tatic that you’re joining Mama’s team Miss Buecks. I told Mama that I knew you would. I'm gonna cheer so loud for you,” Stephie says, unaware that her innocent words feel like shards of broken glass piercing at Azzi’s skin.
“That makes me ecstatic Stephie,” Paige says softly but there’s a hint of something else there that Azzi can’t quite place; the realization that she’s no longer as well-versed in the notes of Paige’s voice hits her like a hailstorm.
“Welcome to Golden State,” she manages to stutter out and Paige’s eyes drift to her before warily looking down to her outstretched hands, “I think we’ll make a good team.”
“I’m counting on it,” Paige nods as she reaches out the hand that’s not holding Stephie. And the moment they touch, it’s still electric, like lightning during the first thunderstorm after a drought. They stare at each other and Azzi wonders if Paige is thinking it too, thinking that if only they’d held on like this eight years ago when they should have. Blinking away droplets of what happened to you and me forever, Azzi reluctantly lets go of Paige’s hand, ignoring the way the feeling of it still lingers, like it’s destined to etch itself onto Azzi’s palms.
“Well Stephie bear, I think it’s time for us to go home,” she says slowly.
Stephie crinkles her nose, “we’re not going home Mama. We’re getting ice cream,” she turns to Paige with a serious expression on her face, “we always get ice cream after ex-cise. Mama says it’s good for the soul.”
“She’s right. Ice cream is good for the soul,” Paige smiles, giving Azzi a knowing look.
“OH,” Stephie shrieks, “Miss Buecks you should come with us so we can cel-bate you coming to Mama’s team.”
Azzi’s eyes widen, immediately getting ready to shut that dreadful idea down, “Miss Buecks is busy baby and she probably wants to celebrate with her own family.”
And if the word family makes Paige flinch, Azzi pretends she doesn’t notice.
“You don’t wanna cel-bate with me Miss Buecks?” Stephie asks and Azzi knows that even if Paige had intended to decline Stephie’s offer, once her daughter gives her those big sad eyes, the already people-pleasing blonde won’t say no.
“Nobody else I’d rather celebrate with,” Paige caves and Azzi sighs, switching her bag to her other shoulder. Some things would never change. Some things about Paige, she would always be able to predict.
“Yay,” Stephie cheers, finally slipping down from Paige’s lap, only so she can lace one hand in Paige’s and the other in Azzi’s, “let’s go cel-bate.”
***
It’s the first time they’ve been in a car together in a decade, and still the instinct to reach out and grab Azzi’s hand as she drives, prickles against Paige’s fingertips. She tries to focus on the road ahead, tries to focus on whatever story Stephie is telling from the backseat, tries to focus on anything but the woman in the driver’s seat who used to be her passenger princess.
“You’ve turned into a pretty good driver,” she quips slowly, trying to lighten the tension between them, “I’m only just a little bit scared for my life right now.”
Azzi cracks a small smile, “are you ready to admit I’m a better driver than you?”
“Not a chance.”
“Mama’s the best driver in the world,” Stephie chimes in loyally, “was she a bad driver when she was littler?”
“Younger,” Azzi corrects immediately, “and I was always a good driver, Steph. Don’t listen to Miss Buecks.”
Paige scoffs, “don’t believe her Stephie. She once nearly killed me.”
“I did not. I can’t believe you’re lying to my child.”
“Am I?” Paige cocks her head, “so you didn’t nearly back into me that one time during Christmas?”
“That doesn’t count,” Azzi protests, “I didn’t even know you were coming to surprise me. How was I supposed to know you were going to be right outside the garage door while I was trying to pull out.”
“There are these things on your car called mirrors Azzi, think maybe you should try and use them sometimes.”
“It was dark and I was in a hurry.”
“Where could you possibly have had to go that late on Christmas?”
“I was going to surprise you,” Azzi exclaims, “but you beat me to it so,” her voice fades off as an awkward silence cuts into the easy banter. The memory of that night is clear in Paige’s mind. Christmas 2021 when they’d been teetering on the edge between something and everything. They’d decided they’d meet up the day after Christmas to exchange presents, leaving the day of it just for their families. But the whole day had passed and Paige had been consumed by nothing but missing Azzi. And as soon as night fell, her mind was made up to go see her best friend. She hadn't known just how much Azzi had missed her too. Not until now. It’s funny, Paige thinks, they’d once been the kind of people who didn’t know how to exist when they spent a day apart. Now they were the kind of people who’d fought to spend nearly a decade apart.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie cuts in again, voice inquisitive, and Paige doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of hearing the little girl call for her; it fills her with a warmth she didn’t even know she had the capacity to feel, “Mama said you’ve always been the prettiest, even when you were littler.”
Paige’s eyes dart to Azzi, a smirk playing on her lips as she watches a pink hue spread across the brunette’s cheeks, “she said that?”
Azzi doesn’t say anything, hands tightening on the steering wheel as she finally maneuvers into a parking lot.
“She did,” Stephie confirms, “and she said you were really good at bask-ball and really smart. And then Aunty Leen said something in her ear and Mama got all shy.”
“Right Stephanie. I think that’s enough talk about what Mama said,” Azzi says as she finishes parking and starts to unbuckle her seatbelt, muttering something about inflated egos under her breath.
“Nah Stephie,” Paige grins as gets out of the car, “I like hearing what your Mama said about me.”
It earns her a glare from Azzi and that only makes her smile harder. Paige is no stranger to praise and compliments but it’s always meant just a little more when it came from Azzi. And she’d never admit it to anyone but every time she’d come across a clip of Azzi praising her over the last couple years, she’d let the clip loop for far longer than she should have.
“You know what Bueckers,” Azzi says, “you’re buying our ice cream.”
“That’s not fair Mama,” Stephie chides, “we’re here to cel-bate Miss Buecks. It’s her treat so you have to pay.”
“Yeah Azzi, it’s my treat so you have to pay,” Paige mimics, high-fiving a beaming Stephie.
Azzi looks between the two of them, an offended expression on her face, “my own daughter,” she gasps, “betraying me. I see how it is.”
“You’re the one who says we have to be fair,” Stephie says, nudging her mother slightly so she can clutch her hand and then turns to look up at Paige, “was Mama really pretty when she was littler?”
“Younger” Azzi corrects again, before focusing on Paige, “and you don’t have to answer that. She’s seen photos of me from before.”
“But I wanna know from Miss Buecks,” Stephie whines.
“Stephie,” Azzi warns, an edge to her voice.
“She was the most beautiful girl in the world,” Paige says softly and two sets of dark brown eyes immediately flash up to her. The California sunshine makes Azzi glow but really that’s nothing new; Azzi has always been the brightest star, at least in Paige’s galaxy, and she can’t help but let the next words slip through her lips, “she still is.”
***
Azzi thinks Paige has never really known the impact of her own words. Whether it was the missiles she fired when angry or the shower of flower petals when she was feeling complimentary. And it seems like time has done nothing to change that because Paige continues to walk towards the ice cream parlor with absolutely no recognition of how Azzi’s heart has just burst into flames.
She still is.
It shouldn’t affect her the way it does, shouldn’t elicit any reaction more than just a cocky smirk but instead those three little words seem to imprint themselves on her cochlear, ringing around her like static as she tries to keep a façade of nonchalance.
The ice cream parlor is bursting with people and it doesn’t take long before both Azzi and Paige are being asked for pictures. Protective instinct kicking in, Azzi reaches to grab for Stephie to keep her from getting lost in the crowd, only to find her already securely tucked into Paige’s side. Azzi watches as Paige interacts with the fans -she’s always been a natural at that- and somehow manages to keep Stephie entertained at the same time, conspiratorially whispering things to her in between interactions and making her giggle. It hurts and heals something inside her at the same time. The thing is, since Stephie was born, Azzi has done this whole thing alone and she’s never regretted it, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a part of her that hasn’t always wished for a partner, someone else who would protect her little girl with her. Like Paige is right now. But this is a mirage, a fever dream that isn’t Azzi’s to dream.
So she looks away and hides her tears behind a dazzling smile for a photo with a fan. She’s gotten incredibly good at that.
“What’s your favorite ice cream flavor Miss Buecks?” Stephie asks excitedly when they finally manage to reach the counter.
“Oh um-” Paige scratches at her neck, “I like cookies and cream.”
Azzi guffaws at the lie, “your favorite flavor is cookies and cream?”
“Yes Azzi,” Paige glares, “I love cookies and cream.”
Azzi raises an eyebrow before dropping her voice down to a whisper, “why are you lying?”
Paige sighs, “I don’t want Stephie to think I’m weird.”
“Oh Paige,” Azzi can’t help but smile before turning to Stephie, “Steph what flavor are you getting?”
“Mint chocolate chip,” Stephie says excitedly, eyes fixated on the green ice cream and Paige’s mouth falls open a little bit as Azzi smirks at her.
She turns to the cashier, “we’ll have open mint chocolate chip, one strawberry and one-”
“One more mint chocolate chip please,” Paige cuts in and both Azzi and Stephie look at her.
“I thought you wanted cookies and cream Miss Buecks?” Stephie asks with a confused expression and Azzi barely manages to bite back her laugh.
“I uh-,” Paige begins sheepishly, “I didn’t know they had mint chocolate chip. That’s my most favorite.”
Stephie is contemplatively quiet for a minute before a grin breaks out on her face, “Mama did you know Miss Buecks and I have the same favorite ice-cream flavor?”
“I had absolutely no idea,” Azzi says, winking at Paige as she pays for their ice cream.
They opt to sit outside on one of the picnic benches overlooking the nearby park. Azzi is distinctly aware of how they might look to anyone walking by right now, like a family. Normally, ice cream Sundays are spent with Stephie rambling and Azzi listening but this time Stephie has someone who’s just as much of a chatterbox as she is. Paige hangs on to every word that comes out of the little girl’s mouth, answering questions and giving replies as if this is the most important conversation of her life.
“Mama and I go to Stanford games all the time,” Stephie’s saying as Azzi tries to get out of her own head and zone into the conversation instead, “I’m gonna be a- what’s it called again Mama?”
“A Cardinal,” Azzi supplies helpfully.
“I’m gonna be a Card-nal,” Stephie says and Paige gasps, turning to Azzi.
“Oh my god you’ve raised a traitor,” she moans, shaking her head.
Stephie scrunches her face, looking rather offended by that moniker, “I’m not a tray-tor.”
“Steph sweetheart look at me,” Paige says, her voice the epitome of seriousness as she holds the younger girl by her shoulders, “what are we?”
“Humans?” Stephie asks innocently and Azzi laughs.
“No Stephie we,” Paige uses her finger to point at her and Azzi, “we are Huskies. UConn Huskies. And what do we bleed?”
“Oh I know this one,” Stephie says excitedly, “we bleed blue.”
“So do you wanna be a boring old tree or do you wanna be a big, strong Husky who bleeds blue?”
“I wanna be a Husky,” Stephie cheers and Paige cheers along with her. Azzi rolls her eyes but it doesn't quite match the smile on her face. And then Stephie’s racing off to the swings, leaving Paige and Azzi alone for the first time in a long time.
“Did you just manipulate my child into wanting to go to UConn?” she nudges Paige.
“Of course not. I just made her understand what’s best for her and that’s UConn,” Paige nudges her back, “just like it was for you.”
“Yeah, it was,” Azzi says softly and they both know she means a lot more than just UConn.
“You um- you have a little bit of ice cream,” Paige points nervously to the edge of Azzi’s lip, hands reaching and then hesitating. And Azzi knows that she should at least attempt to wipe it off herself but she stays deathly still as Paige’s thumb finally makes its way to her face. It’s a featherlight touch that the blonde traces across her lips, their eyes transfixed on each other, neither of them breathing. And they’ve had far more intimate moments than this one but something about this, right here, feels apocalyptic.
“I meant what I said before,” Paige whispers, “you’re still the most beautiful girl in the world.”
She gulps before starting to move away and Azzi feels a panic course through her blood as she hurriedly grabs the blonde’s hand. And she’s not supposed to do this; she should tell Paige not to say things like that but instead she’s pulling the blonde closer, hand firmly clasped around her wrist.
“Azzi,” Paige breathes out, like she wants to stop and start something at the same time. They’ve never really known self-control when it comes to each other.
“I meant what I said to Stephie too,” Azzi whispers, “you’ve always been the prettiest.”
***
September 2029
Wings 82 Valkyries 77
Paige almost falls to her knees as the buzzer sounds around the arena. The crowd is on their feet cheering as the Dallas Wings beat the Golden State Valkyries in a hard-fought semi-finals game 5 to advance to the WNBA finals. It takes a brief second and suddenly she has teammates circling all around her as they bask in their well-earned glory.
“One more series to go. Wings in three,” Satou cheers and the whole team echoes after her. They’re not known to be the closest of teams but at this moment, they almost feel like family.
Paige is exhausted as she’s ushered to do a sideline interview and she tries really hard to keep the irritation off her face when she realizes it’s Holly Rowe. The questions are generic and some are downright annoying, but Paige’s media training has always been stellar, and despite the fatigue rolling off her body, her answers are heartfelt and charismatic. The interview can’t be longer than three minutes but it feels like a lifetime before she’s finally walking away. Focused on the ground beneath her and trying not to cave into the exhaustion on her way to the media room, Paige doesn’t notice when she goes barrelling into a firm body.
“Shit I’m so-” the words are stolen from her mouth as Tim Fudd turns around but it’s not him that attracts Paige’s attention. It’s the little girl cradled in his arms, a little girl who looks exactly like the fact that still haunts all of Paige’s memories. Tiny brown eyes stare up at her and Paige is mesmerized by this tiny creature who seems like she could captivate the whole world if she wanted to.
“Congratulations Paige,” Tim says slowly and Paige tears her eyes away from the baby to look at the man who had once been the person who made it a mission to make her laugh whenever she was on the verge of crying, “I’m really proud of you kid.”
Paige’s eyes sting and she doesn’t know if she wants to run away or beg Tim to give her one of his patented bear hugs, “thank you. It really does mean a lot. She-,” her eyes flicker back down to the little tiny bean, “she’s beautiful.”
“Yeah she is,” pride shines in Tim’s voice, “you wanna hold her?”
“Oh no it’s ok-” Paige begins but before she can finish, there’s a baby being placed in her arms and everything around her seems to come to a standstill.
“Her name’s Stephanie,” Tim says softly and Paige laughs because of course, of course Azzi would name her daughter Stephanie.
“Hi Stephanie,” Paige coos, reaching out a finger to tickle the little girl, gasping when Stephanie's small chubby hands grasp it. And then the baby giggles, smiling at Paige as if she’s given her a gift and Paige swears she’s never loved a sound more in her life.
“Can you hold her for a second while I go find Katie?” Tim asks and Paige shakes her head in panic but he’s already off before she can stop him. And then it’s just her and Stephanie, standing outside the media room. There’s people cluttering in and out of the rooms around her, the whole lobby is bustling with sounds but all Paige can focus on is the girl in her arms.
“You’re so cute,” Paige whispers in a baby voice and Stephanie giggles, “yes you are, yes you are. I wanna steal you so bad.”
“I don’t think you can win a WNBA championship from jail,” a familiar voice says from behind her and Paige feels her stomach tying itself in knots as she turns to look at Azzi, “maybe try and kidnap my child after the finals?”
There’s a smile playing on Azzi’s lips but a storm brewing in her eyes and Paige knows that if she rests a heart against the darker-skinned girl, she’ll find it beating to the same hyper rhythm as Paige’s.
“Congratulations Paige,” Azzi says softly as she takes another step towards her, “you guys deserved it.”
“Y’all made it hard as hell-I mean shit-no fuck,” Paige swears and the child in her arms giggles as a litany of curses fall from her mouth.
Azzi bites her lip, raising her eyebrows in mock exasperation, “in front of my kid? Seriously Bueckers?”
Paige winces, ready to apologize until Stephanie begins to babble “B-buecks,” she giggles, clapping her hands, unaware of how the two adults in her vicinity both freeze, “Buecks. Buecks. Buecks.”
“Yeah sweetheart,” tears prickle against Paige’s waterline, “that’s me,” she looks up at Azzi whose own eyes are watery, “she said my name.”
“Yeah,” Azzi’s voice wobbles, “yeah she did. She’s- she’s a quick learner.”
“Just like her Mama,” Paige whispers, staring at Azzi and she wants to freeze them in this moment, like a still-motion picture she can hang up on her walls and keep with her forever.
“Mama,” Stephanie burbles, eyes darting between the two women, “Mama. Buecks. Buecks. Mama.”
“You’re so smart Stephanie,” Paige whispers to the little girl, tickling her stomach. She looks up at Azzi with a smile only to find the brunette frowning at Paige’s hand. Confused Paige follows the line of sight until her own eyes catch onto the diamond that’s shining on her ring finger and she can feel her heart drop, “Az-”
“The media’s waiting for you Paige,” Azzi says, the lightness of a few seconds ago replaced with a hard edge.
“Azzi,” Paige whispers again and she doesn’t know why her tone sounds pleading, doesn’t even know what she’d pleading for but she can feel something slip away from her again.
“You probably want to go celebrate with your wife,” Azzi spits out the last word like it tastes bitter and sour at the same time, and it lands somewhere in between them, creating a wall that puts them on different sides. And Paige should let it go; she should pretend it’s just a normal sentence uttered without any malice, should pretend that she can no longer read the cadences of Azzi’s voice but instead of putting up a shield, she shoots an arrow.
“You don’t get to say it like that,” Paige hisses.
“I didn’t say it like any-”
“Yes you did and you don’t get to do that,” Paige presses, “not when you didn’t want to marry me.”
Azzi flinches. The words, soaked in mistakes of the past, hang like a dagger in between them, ready to sever the thin thread of cordiality that they have tried desperately to maintain.
“You’re right,” Azzi says finally, her voice ice cold as she reaches for Stephanie, “I didn’t want to marry you,” the dagger twists, “so how about you give me my child back and go find the woman who did.”
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