#if it's already like this.. if im this sick and have this pain when im 25 how will it be when im old?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lupinsweater · 3 days

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hey gorgeous! rly love your writing!!!!!!!! so, the thing is, im with a horrible (emphasis on horrible) throat inflammation, those that even swallowing saliva hurts and eating solid food makes you cry, you know. I would love to see how Remus would comfort me in this situation!

Hope your doing well, xoxooooo

hi love! i’m so sorry you aren’t feeling well😢 being sick is the worst, especially with a sore throat! we all need a remus to comfort us…i hope this helps you feel a little better!🤎

Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader 💌 1.3k words

♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡

It was a chilly autumn morning when you woke up with a weight in your chest and a terrible ache in your throat. The blankets on your bed were tangled around your legs, and your sheets were damp with cold sweat. The first swallow you took felt like sandpaper, dry and painful, as though you’d spent the night screaming or partying instead of sleeping. Your head felt heavy on your shoulders as you slowly propped yourself up and rubbed your eyes- a dull throb behind them warned you of an oncoming headache.

You groaned softly as you charmed some water into the glass on your bedside table, wincing at the rawness in your throat. It wasn’t the kind of sore throat that you could ignore, or the kind that would go away with your glass of water and a little more rest. This was something much worse; this was the kind that told you today was going to be long and uncomfortable. The last thing you needed right now was to be getting sick, but there wasn’t much you could do about it now. You knew classes would begin soon, and nervous to miss anything, you forced yourself out of bed, cleaning yourself up as best as you could before making your way down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

By the time you sat down at the Gryffindor table, your friends were already eating and the scratch in your throat had gotten worse. Sirius waved at you, and Remus turned to look in your direction as you slid into the seat next to him.

“Good morning,” Remus said, his smile soft and familiar. He offered you a mug of hot chocolate, which you accepted gratefully.

“Morning,” you replied, though your voice was rougher than usual. You cleared your throat, hoping it would pass quickly. Remus, however, noticed immediately- his brows furrowed as you took a sip from your mug, his gaze lingering on you.

“You okay?” he asked. His concern was always close to the surface with you. Not wanting to worry him, you gave him a small smile.

“Just a bit of a sore throat,” you murmured, helping yourself to a muffin as you drained your mug. “It’s really nothing.”

Remus didn’t look convinced, but he let it slide, though you could tell he was keeping a closer eye on you than usual as you finished your meal. He hovered behind you through the corridors on the way to class, and he asked clarifying questions during Charms when he noticed your face scrunch in confusion at one of the instructions.

As the morning went on, you found yourself talking less and less, each word starting to feel more painful than the last. Remus watched you quietly, his eyes flickering with concern, but he didn’t push. By the time you reached your last class of the morning, the scratch in your throat had turned into a deep ache. You did your best to ignore it, pushing through the lecture as best as you could, but your voice was starting to strain more than ever, and your head was pounding painfully. You could barely hear Professor McGonagall over the dull thudding in your ears.

When the bell rang, Remus was quick to pack his things up. He helped you gather your things and ushered you out the door. You’d never seen him this eager to get to lunch before- your stomach was growling, but you didn’t have much of an appetite. Remus dragged you up the stairs and towards Gryffindor tower, and you pulled back on him, frowning.

“Wait, wait. Where are we going? Don’t you want lunch?” You croaked, looking at him with confusion. You knew the full moon was coming up, and his appetite was always insatiable during that time of the month. Remus just shook his head, tugging on your arm gently. Exasperated, you followed, allowing him to guide you back to the common room and sit you down by the fire.

“Okay, what’s this about?” You said in a half-whisper, folding your arms over your chest as you sunk into the squashy armchair.

“You clearly aren’t feeling well, dove,” Remus said, giving you a pointed look. You sighed, bringing a hand up to massage your nose bridge to relieve some strain from your headache.

“I know I’m not,” you grumbled hoarsely, meeting his eyes reluctantly. “It’s not like I have a lot of options here, Rem. I can’t afford to miss class, and I have assignments to hand in. And you know how much I hate taking Pepperup Potions- I just can’t handle the steam coming out of my ears, it makes me feel all funny.”

“I’m not going to ask you to take a Pepperup Potion,” Remus said, his expression a mix between amusement and mild annoyance. “Just wait here, okay? I’ll be right back.”

You knew he was just trying to look out for you, and you could already feel the tension leaving your shoulders as you soaked up the warmth from the fire. Remus raised an eyebrow at you, and you gave a small nod in return, knowing protesting wouldn’t do much anyways, as it was obvious he had already made up his mind.

You weren’t sure how long he was gone- you’d felt your eyelids begin to droop, and you were in a pre-sleep daze when he re-entered the common room, holding a tray of sandwiches and a teapot. Remus placed the food on the table in front of you, and shuffled over to the cabinet in the corner of the room and produced some plates and teacups, which he brought back over to you. He poured some tea into the teacup, then placed it in your hands, brushing some hair away from your face and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead that made you feel pleasantly warm.

“Here, drink this, dove. Honey and lemon. It will help,” he said, putting a few sandwiches on a place and setting it in front of you. You sat up blearily, taking slow sips of the tea. It really did feel soothing on your throat.

Remus sat down beside you, and the two of you ate your sandwiches in silence. He refilled your teacup twice, watching you with worried eyes.

“You really should go rest,” he said finally, his tone gentle but serious. “Your throat is only going to get worse if you keep pushing it, and you look awfully tired.”

You opened your mouth, prepared to argue your case again, but Remus gave you a soft, knowing look that made you close it again.

“Don’t worry about classes. I’ll take notes for you and hand in your assignments,” he said reassuringly. “Just go rest for me, okay?”

There was no point in fighting it any more. You knew he was right, and the warmth in his voice made you feel like it was okay to let him help you, just this once. You nodded, unable to do much else, and Remus smiled tenderly at you.

“I’ll come check on you later,” he promised, watching you carefully as you stood up. There was something in the way that he was looking at you that made you feel at ease. It wasn’t just worry—it was something closer, warmer. Maybe you weren’t ready to name it yet, but it was there, in every small, thoughtful gesture, and in the way he said, “Take care of yourself, dove,” as you climbed the stairs up and out of sight.

As you made your way back to your dorm to rest, you couldn’t help but feel grateful—not just for the tea, but for the quiet way Remus always seemed to know how to take care of you, without you even having to ask.

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criminalamnesia · 7 months

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Simon x Reader whose already work with TF 141 for a pretty long time. And one day, there's a traitor around the base, leaking their information. All of the proof are leading to reader but reader always deny it! And they interrogated reader, and reader always deny it! And he's (with other 141 members, of course, but it mostly him) do their torture methods to get information out of reader. They keep doing it until someday, the real traitor finally captured!

And make the reader traumatized, pls. Like, she would have trust issues, trauma, and others. She wouldn't forgive them, tho.

ooooo the angst. had to sit on this one for a few days before I wrote something, but here goes nothing.

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

when you blink open your eyes, the room is dimly lit. it’s silent save for the sounds of your labored breathing.

you must’ve passed out. one second johnny— a man you’d known for years—was slicing into your skin with a knife. the next, you’re staring into an empty room.

your hands jerk up involuntarily. still bound. the rope holding them to the arms of the chair have rubbed them raw. the skin is bright red and bloody. it makes you grit your teeth.

you look down at your lap, taking inventory of the parts of your body you can see. large gashes break up the fabric of your tac pants. the blood surrounding the deep wounds is dry and crusty.

one of the cuts looks like it’s getting infected. you swear you can see bone.

you’d taken this kind of suffering before. been capture by enemies, held and tortured and pushed to the brink of death. this was different. this was being done by your team. men you’d bled with. cried with. laughed with.

one you’d even slept with. the same one you loved. the one you called yours.

the door to the room swung open, hitting the wall with a metal thud. your head slowly lifts, eyes squinting to see him. by his stature, you know it’s simon.

he doesn’t bother shutting the door behind him. instead, he walks towards you slowly. as he comes closer, can make out his eyes in the sea of dark paint he smears around them. the same paint you’d helped him apply a time or two.

“back for more?” you say, and it’s meant to sound sarcastic, but all it sounds like is pitiful. your voice cracks, and pain seeps into your tone.

the first rule they’d taught you about scenarios like this was to never let the enemy know it’s working. never let them know that they’re hurting you— that they’re slowly wearing down your defenses.

well, you’d just broken that rule, and you hadn’t even meant to.

you didn’t know how long you’d been tied up, subjected to torture by men you had once called your family. all because a fucking liar whispered your name into their ears. all because they fucking believed it.

apparently the years meant nothing to them. to him, least of all, considering he’d done more damage to you than the rest of them.

simon comes to a stop in front of you. his hands are empty by his sides, but that’s not reassuring. there’s a table full of weapons off to the side. he would have his pick of the litter.

“ready to talk yet?” he says, and his voice is gruff. his tone is hollow. he’s speaking to you the same way he’d spoken to countless enemies. it makes you sick.

“fuck you, simon,” you spit out.

the betrayal of john, gaz, and johnny had hurt. but simon’s betrayal? that was enough to almost put you in the ground.

you’d stopped pleading with them the second they tied you to the chair. now, you were angry. furious. rage filled your veins, and if you weren’t beaten to all hell, you’d find a way out of these fucking restraints and strangle the man in front of you to death.

the man you loved. you’d thought you meant something to him, but apparently not— because who tortures someone they love?

“if you talk,” he ignores your outburst. “it’ll be easier. quick.”

“fuck. you.” you enunciate the words, your jaw impossibly tight as you grit your teeth. “im not the fucking rat.”

“all the evidence,” he starts as he disappears from your vision. you know he’s going to pick his weapon of the hour. you force yourself not to shudder.

“points to you.”

“take that bullshit evidence and shove it up your ass, riley,” you seethe, ropes pulling taut as you lean forward in the chair.

he’s back in your line of sight now, brandishing a large knife.

“you’re only making it harder on yourself, love,” he tuts, and then he’s swinging the knife down, right onto one of your fingers.

you scream as the blade cuts right through skin and bone. your teeth dig into your lip, drawing blood as you refuse to give him more of a reaction. it fucking hurts, but you’ll be damned if you let yourself cry.

“feel like talking now?” he asks, watching as half of your left pinky finger falls to the floor.

“or should we take off another?”

you look up at him, hoping he can see the hatred in your eyes as you speak your next words. “you could take the fucking hand off and I’d still have nothing to tell you.”

“let’s see how true that is then, eh?” he replies, and raises the knife again. he’s about to swing, when someone comes running into the room.

“ghost!”

it’s johnny. he’s obviously winded as he stops beside simon, dropping his hands to his knees as he struggles for breath.

“what, mactavish? im busy.”

“they’re—” he gasps. “they’re not— the— rat.” he says between breaths.

the room goes impossibly still. so quiet you swear you could hear the men’s heartbeats (or maybe that pounding in your ears was your own).

“you sure?” simon’s voice is softer as he lowers the knife and turns to johnny. the younger man nods, his eyes trained on you. you can see the regret in them, the sorrow.

“it’s fucking shepard.”

it’s not funny, but at the news, you burst into laughter. the men stare at you in confusion, but you can’t stop.

you’re laughing so hard you’re crying, and they’re just standing there.

“are you alrigh’?” johnny’s asking as he moves towards you. he’s fully recovered his breath now, and he drops to a crouch to be eye level with you.

you don’t answer— you can’t. you keep laughing. distantly, you hear the knife simon was holding clatter to the ground. can just make out the sound of more footsteps out in the hallway, coming towards the room.

you pass out.

when you wake up again, you’re in the infirmary. your eyes open slowly, adjusting to the bright fluorescent lights.

“easy, love,” a voice to your right drawls.

your eyes are fully open now. you look down at yourself, noticing the lack of bindings. noticing the iv taped to your arm, the stitched cuts, the black and blue bruises, the missing fingernails and missing finger.

the person sitting next to you clears his throat. that’s when you look up and meet the eyes of your captain.

your captain. the man who was supposed to lead you, to keep you safe. what a fucking joke. he’d started the damn witch hunt.

“how d’you feel?” he asks, his words soft, like he’s trying not to scare off a timid animal.

you stare at him for a beat. then two. then you’re moving, pulling the iv from your arm and shakily pushing yourself up in the bed. price is telling you to stop, reaching out to push you back down, but you slap at his hands.

“get the fuck off me!” you shout, and that takes him aback. he stops, frozen, as he watches you shift in the bed. you throw your legs over the side of it and prepare yourself to stand.

“you really shouldn’t—” he begins after he’s regained his senses, but you pay him no mind. you place your feet on the ground and start to stand. your legs wobble, almost give out, but you’re able to stand. barely.

“shut up,” you growl, stumbling forward and towards the exit. he’s moving to cut you off, and you slide him a gaze that’s sharper than a knife. “and leave me the fuck alone.”

he halts again. he seems almost scared of you— but that can’t be right. even on your best days, he would still beat you in hand-to-hand combat.

he’s not scared of your threats or your frail body. he’s scared of what he’s done to you.

just then, johnny and gaz come through the infirmary doors.

“cap, y’alright? we heard yellin’—” johnny begins, but his mouth snaps shut at the sight of you out of bed.

you’re heaving from your spot next to the bed. your legs are shaking violently, threatening to give out any second. you feel nauseous and numb.

“let’s get you back into bed,” gaz says, and he starts towards you, but you stop him as your gaze snaps to his.

“don’t come any fucking closer. any of you.”

“bonnie,” johnny murmurs. he sounds miserable, but you don’t care. don’t give a fuck about how any of them feel.

“don’t. im leaving,” you grunt out, moving a foot forward slowly. you’d be damned if you fell in front of them.

“you can’t, love. you’re in no shape to be walking.” john says, and you snarl.

“and whose fault is that?”

the men stay silent as they watch you slowly shuffle towards the foot of the bed. you’re bracing yourself to walk on your own when simon walks in.

“get back in bed,” his tone is blunt. you ignore him.

you remove your hand from the bed, move to take a step forward without support, and you begin to crumple to the floor.

simon moves forward, quick as a cat, and catches you. he lifts you into his arms bridal style, and you’re screaming hysterically. your limbs are flailing the best they can in such a battered state. you’re in fight-or-flight mode, your body betraying your desire to put up a steely front.

your palms slap against simon’s upper body and his masked face. he gives no reaction. he doesn’t say anything. the others are watching the exchange silently. the room is buzzing with tension.

“get off me!” you screech, landing a slap to simon’s cheek. “let me— let me go! let me go!” you’re gasping for breath, tears streaming down your cheeks. you’re panicking. your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest.

“put me down! get— get— off me! stop—” you sob.

the doctor rushes into the room then, yelling at the men for allowing you out of bed. you can’t make out what she’s saying over the rush of blood in your ears. you feel light-headed. you can’t breathe.

“put them down, now!” the doctor yells at simon. “they’re having a panic attack— I thought I told you four to stay away from them? they’re too vulnerable right now—” the doctor is chastising them as simon places you back in the bed.

spots are dancing in your vision. you don’t even feel it when the doctor sticks another needle into your arm. the words being exchanged above your head are muffled. it’s like you’re underwater.

john’s face comes into view, then johnny’s, then gaz’s. as your eyes start to close, you notice the only face you don’t see again is simon’s.

when you wake up again, it’s been two weeks.

the doctor had put you into a medically induced coma to allow your more serious wounds time to heal, without risking another episode. unbeknownst to you, the members of your team had stayed by your bedside almost the entire time— minus simon. he hadn’t come within ten feet of the infirmary since the day of your panic attack.

there’s fresh flowers on the bedside table. a steady beeping of the heart monitor. a fuzzy feeling in your head.

it feels like a dream, all of it does. none of it feels real as you settle into your body again. but then the hurt starts, and you remember the truth.

your family betrayed you. your lover betrayed you. they locked you up and tortured you. they didn’t believe you.

when the doctor came to your side to check your iv, she smiled.

“how’re you feeling?”

you look up at her, and it takes a moment for you to speak.

“don’t,” you begin. your mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. “don’t let them…in here. don’t…wanna see them.”

the doctor nods in understanding, and she doesn’t say anything else to you. she turns and walks out of the room.

the door clicks shut behind her. she lets out a sigh before turning around to face the three men.

“they don’t want to see you.” she tells them, and their expressions drop. they don’t protest, and like wounded puppies, they walk off.

no one else comes to check on you for a few hours.

you’re in and out of consciousness— can’t tell what’s real and what’s a dream. flashes of your torture come back to you. flashes of a smile. of a scarred face. of hands on your hips and—

you crack your eyes open, and the room is dark. the only light is the blinking of some of the machines. it illuminates the room enough to allow you to see a large, dark figure slip from the room. the door clicks shut so quietly it’s almost imperceptible.

that’s when you notice fresh flowers on the bedside table.

your eyes start to droop once more, and you chalk up whatever you just saw to a dream, while simon exhales heavily on the other side of the infirmary door.

————————————————

authors note:

I hope this alright! it’s one in the morning (and I’m half asleep writing this) so I apologize for the errors that are most likely present, and the sense this most likely lacks. I feel like I could write a whole book about this idea, but im cutting myself off to sleep lol.

thank you for the ask, I hope I did your idea justice. 🫶

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