#if it was just a one and some type of situation I wouldn’t consider calling attention to it

[sinnbaddie]

I think Kishimoto has a long list of problems within himself that he’s put into his work like his misogyny regarding the women, but I think his racism should also be addressed - specifically in regards to Gai.

Gai (Tenten and Lee as well) has been insinuated to be Chinese and besides the clothing to show it, he uses racial stereotypes to further it.

The stereotype that Chinese people are “all loud” comes to mind. He makes sure to draw a difference with Gai (and Lee) and the others by making them loud and “weird”. He’s almost always the butt of a joke if he’s a part of the story outside of the very few moments where he genuinely shines.

SP doesn’t help with his racial stereotyping because in filler there are jokes about Gai having a small penis which is a stereotype that Asian men (Chinese in this case) people have small genitalia.

Overall Gai is treated very poorly because of Kishimoto and SP’s racism and I think it should be acknowledged and talked about because it’s irritating and disgusting.

[silkentine]

Me when they are the sisters ever: 😭😭😭 They came out soooo freaking well. I won’t lie, they took me a thousand years to finish but through the constant support from all of my buds (and my latent bisexuality), we made it 😤

Hopefully you guys know the deal by now: design choices, easter eggs, and (NEW!) closeup shots below the read more. ⬇️

I wanted Ace to have a very down-to-earth vibe and looked at Aussie beach-girls, coastal cowgirls, and vaqueras for reference. (IDK, I’ve just always envisioned Ace as part-Australian🌺 and Mexican 🏴‍☠️) Her clothing choices are mostly natural or utilitarian materials like the painted wooden beads on her top, her woven fabric and leather belts, and her denim jumpsuit. I gave her bikini top a zen-garden kind of feel because I read the first Ace’s Story Novel and I loved how idyllic and peaceful they made Sixis Island sound so I wanted to invoke that in some way.

Speaking of her painted wooden beads, they hang off the back of her top and represent her connection to Sabo and Luffy. They watch her back once she sets sail. She only wears one red glass bead earring because the other one got ripped out of her ear when a child, leaving her earlobe torn (don’t think about it too much 😢). Also, YES! she does wear a hibiscus flower just like Rouge (because I hate you and I want to make you cry, muhwahahahaha).

Also, I really wanted her to have super textured curly hair that licks behind her like flames. I am always considering whether or not a character should have long hair or not because I don’t want it to be a hindrance if they’re in a fight (or if they ARE a fighter with long hair, how to they avoid an enemy making use of that?). Ace is, of course, a Logia-type Devil Fruit User so I think she wouldn’t have trouble with people grabbing it LOL I get the feeling that she doesn’t take very good care of it even though it looks amazing. Like you’d think it would be soft and bouncy just by looking at it but if you ever get the chance to run your fingers through it, it’s a total rat’s nest and there’s sand and food all up in it. She still falls asleep while eating 😂 but she tries her best to only do it around people she can trust (woman moment 😔).

Honestly, her design is not that different from Ace’s canon look. It feels really vital to Ace’s character to have a lot of skin showing. And he’s always hanging all over himself with his hips all cocked like the weight of the world is too much to stand up straight. It is certainly not my OWN preference to make her an absolute smoke show. That’s just the character, okay? (I’m partially lying and the proof is that I turned the emblem on Ace’s hat strap into a sternum tattoo for no other reason than that it is sexy af.)

Here are some closeups of Ace:

Now for Sabo, I’ve made her very girly. I tried putting her in pants or something more militant but she told me that she’d wear the big poofy sleeves and hiked-up ruffled skirt. I think Sabo has always had a strong grasp on his fashion sense and individual flair and I truly believe that his personal style is one of the major influences for the rest of the Revolutionary Army resulting in the very flashy, queer, steampunk aesthetic (aside from Dragon’s plain-ass cloak). So of course I had to implement her nonconformist look when reimagining her as a woman and dress her up to the nines.

I’ve given her very ornate jewelry that is there to tell a story, even if she herself doesn’t know it. I like to think she picks up stuff from her travels that resonate with her, such as a damaged set of earrings with one stone missing or red cup-shaped shells featuring three nestled pearls. Another accessory that cannot go unmentioned is her dragon claw hat pin that keeps her top hat resting on top of her hair (and is definitely used as a weapon when the situation simply doesn’t call for trusty metal pipe). She also has a veil that obscures her prominent facial scar. I imagine she’s not very keen on the reminder of the incident from her childhood that took away her memories. I also kept her chipped toothed because 1) it’s fucking adorable and 2) is a visual reminder that she no longer aligns herself with the nobility who would have gotten such a thing fixed. She is so poised in almost every outward facet of her life from her dignified role as the Chief of Staff to the elegant materials in her clothing that it can be easy to forget she was also a rough and tumble forest dweller. Every time Koala remembers this, he lets out the biggest sigh.

Her hair is inspired by Gibson Girls and Elizabeth Swann from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I wanted it to be fussy and tidy but fall apart when she’s in moments of distress. For example, when she remembers her sisters, her hair starts to look like Ace’s flaming mane. I’m so in love with her, I think she looks like an adorable little porcelain doll that would fuck you up. I made an effort to keep her eyes a little bit manic. I get lost in her steely black orbs (and also Ace’s warm brown ones, but we’re talking about Sabo rn).

Here are her close-ups:

Plot notes for this AU:

For this series of character designs, I wanted the expressions and outfits to be aligned with the canon plot but I don’t know if I have the heart to kill fem!Ace in my AU. I’m too attached and ASL has suffered enough!!!!! But Ace’s death is also a major defining moment for Luffy so it feels disingenuous to completely avoid it. Also a huge aspect of Sabo’s character is carrying on Ace’s will and I have so many thoughts about how the Dressrosa Colosseum scene would play out if they were all women. Oh well, I’ll cross that tragic bridge when I get to it. I’m definitely going to draw some Modern AU Girl Piece ASL though. They deserve to hang out with no stakes 😭 They are sisters!!!

Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog for my other One Piece genderbends! 🥰

[sanjisleggy]

the warlord’s wife (mihawk x reader)

req: Oh if you want to you should do a Mihawk x reader (fem or gn) that's hurt comfort where the reader is like the exact opposite of him. Like she is usually so happy and sweet and kind. And something happens and maybe she starts to worry that she is too much for Mihawk because he is just someone who is quiet and to himself all the time and she thinks she is constantly bothering him

a/n: ahhh my first attempt at writing for Mihawk! a much shorter fic compared to my others but i hope you guys like it nonetheless :3c i’d love to write longer fics for him if anyone has any ideas yippee

contents: rude people (lol), insecure!fem!reader, simp!Mihawk, a tiny bit of angst, some hurt/comfort, fluff :3c

wc. 1k

wanna be on my taglist?

—

i. 

standing outside the large ornate doors, you feel your face burn with embarrassment as you contemplate simply going to the docks to wait out by the hitsugibune until the gala ends. as tempting as escaping from the horrific social situation sounds right now, your pride refuses to let you bow your head in defeat.

”i don’t know how else to convince you,” you try to appeal to the two marines standing guard outside the venue entrance once more, “if you could just ask him to verify my identity—”

”i’m sorry, miss,” the larger man of the two cuts you off with a less than apologetic look. “there’s just no reason why we should do as you say. if we listened to every man or woman demanding to go in, we’d lose our heads.”

your indignance and frustration quickly bubbles into pure anger and for a brief moment you lament having left your katana back at the castle. you bite your tongue, unable to think of any other way to convince the marine officers that you are, indeed, a guest who’d been invited to the gala because you’re literally one of the Warlords’ wives.

“besides,” the other officer chips in unprompted, “no offence but you don’t seem like the type of woman someone like Dracule Mihawk would marry.” his partner fails to hold back a scoff but quickly attempts to return his expression back into one of neutral professionalism.

clenching your fists by your sides, you try your very hardest to keep your eyes from tearing up for the second time tonight. normally such a comment wouldn’t phase you—years of being Mihawk’s partner has done wonders for thickening your skin—right now, though, you can’t help but feel a familiar sharp stinging sensation pierce through your chest.

of all the snarky comments you marine dogs decide to make, why this one?

ii.

it had only been an hour into the gala and already you regretted begging your husband, just weeks prior, to consider attending with you as his guest. the event was a grand one held by the marines every year to “show their appreciation” towards their allies, which included the Seven Warlords; and every year the invite would show up at your doorstep only to be promptly thrown out by your introverted husband.

”can we please go? i miss going for social events like these.” you’d pleaded that night in bed, hugging his arm tightly as you nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck—a move he liked to call ‘playing dirty. “just this once to see what it’s like, then i’ll never ask again.”

both you and Mihawk knew it was a lie but the swordsman was nothing if not a simp for you so he begrudgingly agreed.

”care to elaborate why?” you challenge, taking the two marines aback if their surprised expressions are anything to go by. clearly not used to ‘civilians’ talking back to them, they take a moment to gather their thoughts—and at least have enough decency to look embarrassed at being called out.

”w-well—”

“your wife is such a chatterbox! it’s a wonder you’ve tolerated her for as long as you have!”

”your husband is whom? forgive me, i find that hard to believe.”

”i thought he was some kind of recluse?”

”maybe it was an arranged marriage. how scandalous.”

”i pity the poor man. all my husband does is talk and it drives me insane some days.”

”darling?” a deep familiar voice calls out from behind you, accompanied by the sound of heeled shoes clicking against stone. before you can turn around, you feel his warm hand rest itself on your shoulder, the comforting heat of his body engulfing you from behind. “i’ve been looking for you.”

the blood drains from both the marine officers’ faces, their eyes widening in shock as it dawns on them what a mistake they’ve just made. as though pleading for mercy, the eyes of the larger man flickers in your direction, almost screaming: “please, i’m too young to die.”

”were these men giving you trouble?” Mihawk probes gently, using his other hand to tilt your head in his direction. the moment his eyes meet your own and widen ever so slightly, you know there’s no point lying. as much as you’ve been able to hold back your tears of frustration well enough to fool the average man, your husband is anything but average.

mouths still agape, the marine officers can do nothing but watch as the notorious swordsman proceeds to cup your face with his right hand in a manner so tender they can’t help but suspect he’s an imposter. unbothered by the unbelieving stares sent his way, Mihawk brushes his thumb under your eye as though to confirm his suspicion.

”they were but it’s okay now,” you finally reply, placing your hand over his to hold it in place as you relish in the comforting warmth of his palm.

”what did you do to my wife?” he disregards your subtle plea for peacemaking. he knows you well enough to infer that you simply don’t want him to make a scene for the sake of maintaining his public image. 

Mihawk’s aware of how much you actually enjoy silently watching him defend your pride and honour; and he also knows from experience how happily you’ll reward him with your honeyed words and sweet touches later tonight, when it’s just the two of you alone together. it concerns him, slightly, if he were to be honest, how easily you have him wrapped around your finger—but that’s something to think about another day. 

the marines stutter and stammer but nothing coherent leaves their lips, all linguistic ability fading into nothing under the angered gaze of the Warlord.

”be thankful my beloved is as kind as she is,” the swordsman warns, all the while maintaining his hardened glare. “know that had she not vouched for you two, i’d have no problem killing you right where you stand.”

—

taglist: @irethepotato @i-reblog-fics-i-like @grierpilots

[alwaysshallow]

Isa baby please can we have ghost be told NO for some work stuff by higher ranked! Reader and him to be like

🤪🤪 why does this make me horny 🤪🤪

You’re mad as hell.

You should say something to him after ordering him to go to your office, you know it. You should address all the things that irritate you right now, but you physically can’t bring yourself to it—not when your desire is to bite into his throat. It’s not leader-ish, it’s not you since you never scream at your team. Yet, you have to clench your fists, so they won’t land on his pretty face.

“Won’t you even look at me?” he asks, and somehow it makes you even more mad at him. A low laugh escapes your mouth, as you shake your head with disbelief. His audacity is fucking insane.

As you look up at him, you can’t help but notice the way he just smirks under that simple balaclava he has. It’s almost arrogant in a way, like he’s completely unfazed by your emotions and what he did.

"You disobeyed my orders," you speak up, slowly, deliberately—it’s the only way of speaking that won’t have you screaming at him. “Then, you proceed to lead the entire team under your command, even if I told you otherwise.”

His brown eyes harden a little, but he’s not less amused, as he takes a step forward in your direction. "I did what I thought fit for the situation," Simon says. Riley’s tone is insistent, not leaving a pole in a discussion; a great leader trait, you'd normally think of it.

But right now, this tone makes you furious because he’s not the leader. He’s someone that should obey, someone that shouldn’t even question your choices on the battlefield since you are the one giving orders. Not him.

“Right. Completely putting people at risk, instead of backing out despite we had everything,” you grit through your teeth. The next words you want to say are tough, so you clean your throat and take a deep breath before actually saying them. “You’re off the mission.”

The atmosphere between you two can be cut with the knife. Not only he doesn’t speak to you for a good minute, but he looks at you with a confused look in his eyes. “What the fuck?”

Of course he’d react this way, you think. Nothing new, nothing surprising—at least not with Simon Riley. “I can’t have you sabotaging my mission because you did something that fit the situation.”

“Sabotaging your mission,” he laughs. You lean against the wall when he takes another few steps in your direction, and you tilt your head at him for a better view. “It fits the situation because ‘m savin’ your bloody ass, colonel.”

“I don’t remember asking for it.” You furrow your eyebrows, trying to calm down. It’s hard enough with being mad at him, but even harder when he's chest to chest proximity, towering over you.

“You don’t have to ask. I’ll do it anyway, whether you want it or not.” He shrugs; for a moment, your words die in your throat.

Whether you want it or not.

You shouldn’t feel so hot and bothered right now. Yet, you can’t really help it, as he leans down to your eye level, so you don’t have to have your chin up anymore.

“Should take you off missions with me, then?” you ask. It’s obvious that the question startles him a bit, as he scoffs.

“You can’t do that, love. Wouldn’t do you any good, would it?”

“As far as I remember, I call the shots. Not you, so I’d be careful.”

He hums, completely ignoring the slight warning in your words; his eyes drop to your lips, like he doesn’t care about anything you said before. “I want to kiss you.”

You roll your eyes, ignoring the heat radiating all over your face. “I could have you suspended for insubordination right here, right now, lieutenant, and you think about—”

You don’t get to finish that sentence, as he pulls his balaclava a little over his nose and he pushes his lips into yours. Forceful kiss at first, evolves into the mutual battle of domination; maybe it’s the rank type of thing considering how eagerly you fight, but you can’t do it for long. Not when his hands lands on your hips and your back hits the wall

“I don’t think,” he pants out, his lips still against yours, “that you get how I care about you. You want to piss me off and send me off the mission? Do it. But I’ll be here anyway.”

“I could call the general on you,” you squeak weakly, as he picks you up and sits you on your desk.

“Then fuckin’ do it,” he growls, looking into your eyes—you do not look away, under any circumstances. It would only grow his ego bigger. “No one could protect you like I do. I’m on your command and you like it.”

The evident cockiness in his voice has you trembling, not to mention the lips on your cleavage, as he kisses the skin here. “On my command? You’d do whatever I want you to do?”

He smirks, lazily. “Isn’t that what I just said, love?”

You bite your lip more; it’s gonna be a bloody mess here in a minute, but you can’t care less right now. “Take off the mask,” you say. He tilts his head like a puppy, confused, as his back straightens. “You’re not fucking with me with this thing on.”

And oh, how quickly he throws his balaclava behind him, not even caring about where it lands. It's just your words that get him, the way you're so sure when you say it. It doesn't take him long to get rid of your pants either, kneeling right in front of you.

"'m gonna take," he murmurs to your thigh, gnawing at the skin, "such a good care of you, love. Gonna make this pussy all mine."

It takes one swipe of his tongue to know that he's right.

[toxycodone]

hey so what if. curly thought that his favourite crewmate was at least a little experienced and then found out that they actually haven't even kissed before. like maybe if he overheard daisuke making fun of them for it. what then 👁️

ship. captain grant mccurley x reader

content. power imbalance, curly calls you kiddo but you aren’t his kid

“You’ve really never kissed anyone before?”

This was not the type of late night conversation you expected to be having with your fucking boss, but alas, the stars aligned and hexed you stupid, it seems. Curly’s blue eyes practically glow despite the dim lighting in the common room, peering at you with gentle amusement.

You shift in your seat. Suddenly the couch isn’t comfortable anymore.

“No…being on hauls back to back doesn’t give me much time to date and stuff…”

You answer, scrambling for any sort of excuse. It’s genuinely embarrassing. Why has someone your age never kissed anyone yet? Ridiculous. Now Curly probably really thinks you’re some fucking kid.

“I know, it’s weird. Daisuke already made fun of me enough, so please…just drop it.”

The blonde chuckles—deep and gravely as it rolls in his chest. He’s an insomniac, but he still gets that sexy ‘just woke up’ tone this late in the evening.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed. It’s cute, really. Someone your age still being so pure…that’s rare.”

That familiar feeling of heat starts to burn your cheeks. Oh God. It’s not just from embarrassment anymore. Curly finding it cute…it makes you wanna explode.

“Seriously? You don’t think I’m, like, weird?”

Of course he wouldn’t. Curly’s your captain. Confidant. Friend. At least that’s what he’s made himself out to be. This pseudo-fatherly figure that you can always rely on. The one that’s there for you. Takes care of you.

He shakes his head.

“Not at all.”

His hand’s on your knee.

“Were you waiting for someone special? I mean, a first kiss is a big milestone,”

It’s moving up your thigh. You don’t question it. It’s Curly. He can touch you like this. He doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s comforting you.

You consider his question. Were you waiting for someone special? Or had you been so consumed in work you just never had the time to grow outside of pursuing your career? It’s probably a mix of both. Curly’s been at this job for over a decade, yet he’s definitely managed to kiss a plethora of people. And with a body like that, you bet he even has quite a few notches on his bedpost too.

Would he want to add another?

That thought’s admonished when he gives the fat of your thigh a squeeze. You swallow, but your throat’s dry.

“I mean…I guess.” His gaze pierces through you, causing a shiver to run down your spine. The boring screen full of stars is now quite interesting.

“I just, I don’t know, I—“

“I can show you how to kiss.” It’s offered as casually as a handshake. “So you know what to do when you find the right one.”

This isn’t something a captain should offer his subordinate. Nevertheless, one that affectionately refers to you as kiddo. You’ve called him dad before, either on accident or on purpose—that you aren’t sure. There’s layers of nuance to this situation that makes it inherently wrong. But it’s dangled in front of you like a treat.

“Really…?”

Obedient as ever, you take it despite the risks.

Aren’t you well trained?

But what else is he for? If not to teach you, his favorite crewmate, his sweet little kiddo, everything they need to know to succeed?

“Of course.” The hint of Southern drawl in his sultry tone is enough to rid your inhibitions. You’re drawn to the soft, pink curve of his lip as he leans forward. Your chin’s gently cradled by his index finger and thumb, the callouses on them now hyperaware to your senses.

“It’s easy.” His eyes lock on yours. “You just close your eyes, then pucker your lips.”

You try to follow these instructions, prompting a laugh from Curly.

“Cute. But try to relax, okay?”

It’s hard. You feel his breath on your lips, and it makes you shake like a leaf. He’s so close to you that you can feel the heat radiating off his body.

Curly’s lips touch yours. It’s soft. For such a large, imposing man, the kiss is chaste and sweet. There’s so much care put into the gesture, a testament to Curly’s personality. A shock runs through you, but you find yourself easing into the kiss and relaxing.

His other hand, the one not perched on your thigh and kneading the flesh, moves to cradle the back of your head. This feels like a fantasy. How you’d imagine a leading man would kiss the object of his desire. So much passion exists in such a tiny gesture, your heart feels like it’s going to pop in your chest.

And then, it’s over. When his body moves from yours, you still feel in a daze. Your heavy eyelids open slowly to be met with Curly’s half-lidded ones. He’s close enough you could count his golden lashes if you wanted.

“See? Nothin’ to it, right?”

Curly’s beaming. And even more obnoxiously, the simulated moonlight is highlighting his masculine features in all the right areas. You’re starting to feel dizzy.

Curly’s thumb graces your bottom lip.

“With a little more practice, you’re sure to be a natural.”

How could you say no?

[sniigura-archive]

Softness within.

Adam x fem!reader

Part 1

CW/TW/Tags: Porn, Car sex, Semi Public, P in V, TW: Adam, COLLEGE AU!!!!, oral fem receiving, tell me if I missed smth, I wrote this at 2 am help me, breeding kink, pregnancy mention

Summary: Adam is either very charismatic or you don’t have a spine.

Adam ended up driving you home, after you punched in your address in his navigation system it didn’t take long for you to pass out. Shaking you awake, you scrambled out of Adam’s car, but sadly you weren’t fast enough since you still had to listen to Adam rant to you about the shit hole of a neighbourhood you live in.

He didn’t drive off till you safely entered your building.

Once you got home you didn’t even have the energy to get undressed, you barley took off your shoes and you were already in your bed. Pros of having a one bedroom apartment: the way to the bed is very short.

When you woke up everything felt like a fever dream. It felt so unreal, you were sure it was a weird sex dream coming up because of your repressed consciousness or whatever. You quickly threw away this theory, once you got into the shower. Ew. Having cold cum run down your thighs was not it.

Right so that happened. For real. Totally couldn’t potentially ruin your social life. That’s cool.

Checking your phone, you found texts messages from your friends. Since you all share locations they were happy to see you home after disappearing. Some kidnap jokes were made. You didn’t bother responding.

And just like that your life continued and you tried not to think of Adam anymore. Since you aren’t in the same friend group, don’t study the same subjects, and you’re just a master of avoiding awkward situations you didn’t see him the past 2 weeks. During these 2 weeks Adam found your insta, snapchat AND your phone number. In that order. At this point you wouldn’t be surprised if he found your secret AO3 account or something and started to spam you full with comments.

Him actually actively looking for you made you feel some type of way….and once those thoughts reached you, you basically slapped yourself. You have always sucked at responding to messages, your friends just call you when they need you. You didn’t even properly read Adam’s messages, leaving him on delivered. These messages caused you so much anxiety, that you immediately swiped them away in your notifications field when you saw them pop up.

Another thing you were worried about was that your period was 2 days late, which isn’t a lot considering you took Plan B and it messes with your hormones but it still had you on edge so bad. You ended up buying a pregnancy test, which you didn’t end up needing. Thank god.

The last weekend party you skipped. Sitting at home and catching up with work was how you spend your weekend. And once you saw everyone post the party on their stories and the messages in your group chats, your FOMO kicked in so hard that you had to attend the next one. So, here you were leaning against a wall with some cheap soda in your hand, because you don’t drink since you’re boring. And like always when you’re at a party, you realised you didn’t actually miss out on much.

If you could, you would scroll away at your phone. What’s stopping you? Easy:

Adam starring at you from across the room. Tots not uncomfortable. Starring at your phone now would be like throwing a rock at an sleeping ice bear. Since you basically ignored him for 2 weeks straight. You really know how stand in your own way. Some part of your brain told you not to provoke him too much.

Ok you were just going to run away this is ridiculous. Taking a good look around on how you could escape (your friends were going to murder you for disappearing AGAIN) you jumped nearly 10 feet into the air when you felt big hands on your hips and a body pressed against your back. The only logical reaction to this was to step on the guys foot and throw your drink at his face.

“Ow! What the fuck, you crazy bitch?” Adam yelled.

How the fuck was he able to get to you that fast? Without you noticing?? He’s so big what??

“Jesus, dude! You can’t sneak up on a girl like that!” You yelled back.

Thankfully not many eyes were on you guys, and the music was loud so people yelling to communicate wasn’t unusual.

Adam whipped the soda of his face, looking pissed. Thankfully there wasn’t much left in your cup anyways, the top part of his band shirt was only slightly soaked. Act cool, act casual. Crossing your arms over your chest you looked at him expectantly.

Even though he looked mad a second ago, taking in the sight of you seemed to cheer him right back up. Maybe it’s because of your short skirt.

He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Wanna get out off here?” Shit. Goosebumps from excitement crawled all over your skin. He smelled like the sweet soda, but also like deep cologne. Ah, you’re so so weak.

“Always.” The words left your lips before you could truly think about it.

Adam smirked down at you, placing a hand at the small of your back he started to lead you out of the house party.

That’s how you ended up in Adam’s car, while he zipped around town, trying to find a secluded place, his hand was up your skirt massaging messy circles into your clothed pussy. You on the other hand were spreading your legs further apart, trying and failing to muffle your moans. Even though it was at most 2 minutes, it felt like it took Adam hours to park the car. You clawed at his wrist, trying to get more stimulation out of him.

He reached a hand under his seat, sliding it back from the wheel as far as possible, while also reclining the back of the seat.

“Holy shit, babe.” Adam mumbled out, he reached across to grasp your ass with both his hands hoisting you up and successfully into his lap. Once you sat down on his lap you could feel his bulge right under your pussy. You gave it an experimental roll of your hips. Adam bit his lower lip, his hand flew to your hips, helping you grind down on him.

Grasping at his shoulders, you smashed your own lips into his, trying to steal his breath. Fucking hell, you don’t think you have ever carnally desired anyone as much as him. Adam was still grinding your cunt unto his dick by your hips while he explored your mouth with his tongue freely.

Once the kiss stopped so you could breathe, Adam took the opportunity to rip your tights apart, to have better access towards your private parts.

“Man! Why did you do that? You better buy me new ones, asshole.” You told him frustrated.

“Chillax, baby, I will buy you even better ones if it means you let me hit.” Fucker.

Adam pushed your wet panties to the side, gently easing in a finger, “So tell me. Who else did you fuck after me?” His words were anything but gentle.

“Shit..No one. I..I swear, Adam.” You spoke through gasps. His thumb started to stroke your clit.

With his other hand Adam roughly grasped your jaw into his hand, starring into you with his golden eyes. They reminded you of that of a hawk. He didn’t look too convinced.

“Please, Adam, only you can make me cum.” You whimpered out.

Adam grinned at you at your words, “Ain’t that the truth. You better start answering your fucking messages then, slut.” Another finger was entered into your hole, he curled them upwards, hitting sensitive spots which made you moan shamelessly.

“Bad…at replying.” You mumbled out.

Adam rolled his eyes at you, “Yeah, right, give me a better excuse and I might let you cum.”

It’s not a bad excuse, it’s your reality. Even though your screentime was embarrassingly high, messages were your personal final boss. Using both your hands to run them down the sides of your thighs, your right hand met the pocket garter you wear when you’re wearing a skirt, or dress. Pulling out your phone with one brain cell intact is one thing, but unlocking it is a whole other. Pulling up the messages app, shoved the device into his face. He can read. You think. You hope.

Once he stopped grasping at your jaw so roughly, you massaged the tense muscles. Adam scrolled through your chats, he looked very interested. You caught the glimpse of a chat from last year. Yikes.

Laying your head against his shoulder, you started kissing at his neck. You still had fucking hickeys and bite marks from him! Asshole. Adam left your messages app and was investigating your social media now. He looked through your phone like a man on a mission. If you had at least half your mind you would have already stopped him. But the happier he was at your innocence the more intensely he did rub circles into your clit, turning you to mush.

Throwing your phone on the passenger seat- if it bounces off and breaks or gets lost you were going to kill him- Adam placed a hand at the back of your head, starting another forceful kiss. While your tongues were busy, Adam eased the third finger into you. He pumped them in and out of you, testing the resistance. Taking him unprepared would be a really stupid idea.

With a well placed tug of your hair, Adam pulled you slightly away from him, “It’s fucking hot babe, how you ignore other people. Really. But shit, I need you to answer my fucking messages. I’m not like those other fucking clowns you keep around. Got it?” You quickly nodded your head at him, whatever gets him inside of you.

Slowly pulling out his fingers out of you, one by one, he licked a strip up his fingers while looking into your eyes. He pulled down his jeans zippers, pulling out his leaking dick. He gave himself a few good pumps with his soiled hand. Is he not wearing any underwear?? Yikes.

“Now, sit down on my fucking dick.” Adam smirked at you.

A moment of clarity hit you when you remembered the unused pregnancy test you have hidden away.

“Wait! Do you have a condom?” You looked hopefully at Adam.

He looked at you like you just ruined Christmas, easter and his birthday all at once, “What the fuck do we need that for?”

“I’m not interested in pregnancy. Today is not safe.” You told him, you tried to sound stern.

“You would look hot as fuck though, with swollen tits and a swollen stomach. You sure you don’t want me to cream you while you’re ovulating? Besides, it went well last time, didn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow at you. The gold piercing was reflecting the light of the street lamp outside.

His hand were rubbing at your hips, wandering further up till he helped you take off your sweater. You didn’t bother wearing anything under it because bras suck. He smiled at the sight of your bare chest as if he just won the lottery. He really was moody.

“I’m serious! I bought a fucking pregnancy test, I was so stressed last time.” Adam didn’t even bother looking into your eyes again, his huge hand pulling and rubbing at your nipples and chest. You had to bit your lip to keep from moaning. You had to be strong, at least once. You also really needed to finish this degree without getting pregnant.

“See babe? That’s what you need my number for. So you can fucking tell me that shit.” Adam made brief eye contact with you, before he leaned forward and started sucking at your nipple. His teeth carefully bit down. Your hands tangled themselves up in Adam’s hair. Because Adam pulled you forward for easier reach, your pussy ended up rubbing across Adam’s length. The groan which left his lips made your tit vibrate deliciously.

He really knows how to play you. With his hands he grasped your ass, massaging it before he dragged you across his dick. Your clit caught at his dick piercing, causing you to call out for Adam.

And if you had half a mind, you would simply open up the car door and climb out, to really make your point clear. And Adam would drag you back in, while complaining and get a condom somewhere (hopefully). But the risk of him actually letting you leave was not something you wanted. You just really needed to have him fill you up.

Tugging at his hair, he removed his mouth from your boob. He smiled at you, “Finally ready to get dicked down, baby?” Adam asked you in that arrogant tone of his.

Your own hands wandered across Adam’s chest, till you finally tugged at the bottom of his shirt, trying to take it off. Adam slightly sat up, removing his shirt and throwing it on the passenger seat. Fully taking in his tan olive skin, you realised just how hot he truly is. There was a scar across his right ribcage, his nipple piercing just made him 100 times more attractive, his ample stomach made you want to straight up cannibalise him while his happy trail made your mouth water. What a man.

Grasping his cheeks into your hands, you tilted his head up so he could properly look at you. Your thumb grazed over his lips, “Adam, sweetie..” You cooed down at him. You felt his dick twitch under you, “Don’t you want me to ride you till you’re sucked dry? I can only do that if you get a condom. C’mon…” His eyes were starring into your own.

Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, removing your hands from his cheeks. His face didn’t show any ounce of emotion. Ah, maybe that was the wrong move. Before regret could fully set in, Adam started swearing under his breath. He leaned forward suddenly, a surprised gasp leaving your mouth, while he rummaged through the glove department. Successfully he pulled out a condom, while probably also cursing you.

He leaned his back properly against the seat, ripping open the condom package with his teeth. Adam then glided the condom on his dick, after you scooted back to give him some space. Once he made sure everything was secured, you leaned forward to kiss him again. His hands were grasping your hips, his fingers digging into the plushy flesh.

Once the kiss stopped, you grasped Adam’s dick, lining it up with your pussy.

During your two week Adam break, you really told yourself that that would be a one time thing. That next time you would say no to him. That you don’t really need him or his attention and touch and whatever else he can give you. Well, you’re also a big fat liar so there is that.

Placing your own hand on Adam’s hand, you tugged it off to intervene your finger. Biting down at your lip you slowly glided down on Adam’s dick. Your other hand was placed on his shoulder, nails digged into this skin.

Slowly sliding down on him, your mouth fell open at the stretch. Adams eyes were focused on your pussy swallowing him whole, “You take me so well.” He groaned out.

Once you were fully sat down on Adam’s cock, you panted in the stuffy air. Taking a glance to your right, you saw the windows were all fogged up. At least you have the illusion of privacy.

Adam’s hand moved from your hip to your ass, grabbing at the fat and massaging it. He slowly rocked your hips back and forth with that movement. His other hand squeezed your intervened fingers, he then pulled your hand towards his mouth. Kissing your finger tips while looking into your eyes.

Ah. Why does everything he do make your head spin? Did he do fucking witchcraft or something on you??

Grasping with your hands both his shoulders, you started rocking your hips back and forth. First at an slow and careful speed, but then you started going faster. Till you started going properly up and down on him. Adam’s hand went to your tit, fondling and pinching, while his other hand moved from the back of your neck towards the top of your head. You stopped questioning Adam’s behaviour a while ago.

“If I knew you looked so hot on top, I would have let you ride me immediately last time.” Adam told you, his eyes were jumping all across your body, it seemed like he couldn’t decide where he wanted to look, “But damn, babe, we really need to get you on birth control.”

“S’expensive.” You mumbled out.

Your forehead meet his neck. Maybe you should exercise more, the burn in your thighs was getting intense.

“..You getting tired there, baby?” A breathy chuckle left his lips.

Adam forced your movements to stop, to sit down properly with his hand moving to your hip. He smirked at you, probably knowing he was going to give you another unforgettable experience. Why couldn’t he have been average in everything he does? Noooo, he had to blow your mind away. Damn him and his solid experience.

Adam started thrusting up into you. First at a slow and deep pace. getting you used to the sensation, then he went faster and faster. His piercing scrapped against a sensitive spot in you.

“Right there!” You gasped into his neck, you then started to kiss and suck at his skin. Leaving your own mark. His one hand was still on top of your head, massaging your scalp and playing with your hair.

Thankfully Adam is decent at following orders, he kept up his pace, hitting the spot over and over. You could feel an orgasm approaching. You were probably straight up moaning against Adam’s ear, but he doesn’t seem to complain.

“I can promise you, baby, ‘m gonna get you whatever you want as long as ya going to be my lovely cum dump.” He mumbled out.

Woah orgasms and meaningless consumption??? Your two favourite things!

All you could muster was a whine. Because that was a big commitment. Maybe you’re going to ghost him again. An extra rough thrust made you see stars, and the ghosting idea left your mind and maybe you should marry him and be a housewife and give him as many children as he wants.

You threw your head back at the feeling of overwhelming pleasure and- ah, that’s why he had his hand on top of your head, when you slightly crashed your head into the car roof. It was more shock than anything else, but it still scared the orgasm out of you. Damn it.

Adam stopped his movement’s, his brows were furrowed at your scrunched up face. His hand rubbed at your head in concern, “You good?”

You nodded your head at him, looking into his eyes with your own teary ones, “..I lost my orgasm.” You mumbled out in the most pathetic voice imaginable. To your own defence, it is the worst thing to happen to you today.

Adam looked at you with a blank look for a split second, before laughing at you. You hid your own face behind your hands, embarrassment cursed through your veins. You’re stupid. Why did you say that?

With the way Adam was laughing at you, you felt his dick jump inside of you, which in turn made you clench around him. Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, yanking them down and he smiled at you like a wolf.

“Well..Who am I to say no to my favourite slut? You want to cum? I’m going to make you cum.”

Why is he so hot!!!! You were going to smash your head again into the car roof.

You already thought his pace before was intense. Now? It was brutal. The scraping of his piercing, his hands on your hips and ass, his dick stretching you apart, his stubble rubbing against your soft skin. His constant fucking talking.

“Ugh, babe, you got such a tight cunt. Squeezing me. And you say you don’t want me to cum inside? Ha. Yeah, right.” Adam started rocking your hips back and forth, your clit was rubbing against his jeans.

“‘M more surprised you haven’t got anyone pregnant with that raging breeding kink of yours.” You whimpered into his ear, then you bit into his ear lobe. That was more to be annoying than sexy, but with the way he groaned and his dick twitched inside of you it seemed like it had the opposite effect.

You really would have missed his words, if you weren’t paying attention enough,

“You the only one I wanna get pregnant. Those other whores don’t deserve to have my cum.”

Why do you feel flattered….Something is really, deeply off about you. You need to up your medication.

It felt like hot flames were pooling in your lower stomach, you felt intense, near painful tingles on your clit and thanks to Adam’s constant rhythm of your clit rubbing against the rough fabric of his jeans it wasn’t a surprise that an orgasm washed over you. Your nails dug into Adam’s biceps while you squeezed around his cock.

“Fucking hell, you wanna milk me dry, huh?” Adam groaned, and with a few hip thrust of his own he came. You kinda missed the feeling of his hot cum shooting into you, but you would take that knowledge to your grave.

You rested your face into the crook of Adam’s neck, trying to regulate your breathing. Your legs felt like jelly. Adam was also breathing heavily, his hands rubbed up and down on your back. He stayed inside of you.

Realistically you knew that he had to pull out, to keep the contraceptive working but on the other hand..You just wanted to stay like that. Having Adam not talk for once was a relaxing change. And having his big warm hands on your back, which was starting to cool down, was just pure bliss.

“..You know, we could always do the pull out method.” He mured into your ear, trying to sound seductive.

You couldn’t help but snort at his words, “Yeah, sure, look me in the eyes and tell me you could pull out of this.” You lifted up your one knee, your skirt was lifted up by it and it gave Adam a clear view of your filled up pussy.

Adam couldn’t even look you in the eyes too mesmerised apparently by the sight, it was emphasised by Adam’s dick coming back to life again, twiching and growing inside of you.

“..Shit, you’re right.” Adam grasped your waist and lifted you off off him. He removed the condom, tied it up and threw it somewhere carelessly on the backseat floor. Yikes again.

He rubbed at his chin, probably thinking of what to do next with you. With a hot flash across your body you remembered his promise from last time. Thinking of it, you could fit on the floor in between his legs. Maybe. It would be uncomfortable but you also seemingly have no self respect so what does that matter?

“Get in the back seat.” Adam told you, you nodded at his words. Ok. You can crawl over there. Adam gave a light slap to your ass and chuckled at your surprised gasp. Successfully making it back there, you made sure not to step on the discarded condom. Why is he like that?

Adam grabbed another condom, since he was too big for anything really, he couldn’t crawl back there like you. Instead, he used the doors, like a normal person. Couldn’t be you.

Your head was against the window, and when Adam opened the door car door and crawled onto the seat and flashed that smirk of his you knew you were a goner. Out of seemingly instinct your legs slightly opened. Adam closed the door behind him- yay to the illusion of privacy!- and then he grabbed your ankle and tugged your roughly towards him.

A surprised gasp left your lips, you were laid down now, with Adam towering over you. He once again secured the condom, then he bent down to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping he secured against you. His left arm was supporting his weight against the seat, caging you in, while the other hand was sensually moving from your stomach towards your pussy. He drew patterns into your pubes which made you squirm uncomfortably. Maybe you should start shaving. He then rubbed his thick fingers across your slit, probably checking if you were still wet enough for him. He grazed your clit and it made your whole body jolt.

“Every time a girl shaves her pussy an angel dies. I swear on it.” Adam mumbled out. If those words were meant for only him or if he noticed you being uncomfortable, you didn’t known. But it made you feel somewhat more comfortable.

Adam lined up his super duper magic dick against your entrance and slowly pushed it in. You wrapped your one leg around him, since the other was squished between his body and the seats.

With slow and deep thrusts Adam rocked against you, now you realised how much the car must have moved. The pleasure was building slowly but surely. Adam was quite for once. Pussy so good it shut Adam up?? You’re sure you can put that on your resume.

You wrapped your hand around Adam’s bicep, to steady yourself. You squeezed the soft flesh, looking mesmerised at his big arms. He smiled down at you and flexed his muscles, making them rock hard. You squeezed again and swore under your breath. At this display you remembered actual strong men, and how fat is needed for muscles to be functional and you remembered seeing Adam carrying 2 heavy ass amplifiers on his shoulders as if that was nothing and oh. You need him. Badly. Thankfully you have him.

Using your one hand which was at the back of his neck, you pulled him down to you. Teeth clashing and tongues dancing and spit getting everywhere. It was all consuming and still not enough.

Once the kiss ended, Adam rested his own forehead against yours. You worried for his neck and the constant way he has to twist and bend it to reach you. You gazed into each others eyes, mouths panting into each other and the street light from outside let warm light flow in. It felt like you couldn’t avoid Adam, he was wrapped over you, completely covering you from every angle and he was inside of you, throbbing and twitching. You were breathing in the same air. And you didn’t want him to leave, if you could you would capture this moment and stay here forever.

Why does this feel romantic?

It seemed like you weren’t the only one who thought that, since Adam straighten his back suddenly, as if he forgot what you are to him.

When you looked up into his endless eyes, he was slightly frowning, but that expression changed as soon as it came. Maybe you imagined it.

He grabbed your face roughly and forced your mouth to open wide for him. You let your tongue roll, and rubbed his thumb against it. Hot. He removed his tongue only to spit into your mouth. That’s also hot??

You closed your mouth to swallow his spit.

He seemed rather satisfied with that. He sped up the pace, skin slapping against skin and your moans and gasp and his grunts and string of loosely connected words which you weren’t paying attention to left his mouth. His smug face kind of pissed you off, so you reached out and twisted his pierced nipple.

Adam stifled his own moan by biting down on his lip. But the pleasure he felt from that, he couldn’t hide from you.

And once Adam came, he bit down on your neck. Great! More marks you will have to hide. Ughhh.

The way Adam immediately slowly pulled out of you surprised you. He seemed to enjoy staying in as long as possible. Your brain was a bit to slow to catch up with Adam’s movement. His face disappeared between your thighs, under your skirt and ah-

“Wait. You don’t have to…” Your sentence was interrupted by your own moan.

Adam’s lips latched around your clit and he sucked. Hard.

Overstimulation immediately cursed through your veins, your fingers found themselves at home in Adam’s hair and you tugged. Nails massaging Adam’s scalp, this is probably what heaven felt like.

His tongue traced idle patterns into your clit. Probably spelling his own name again…Asshole. But since you were already close when Adam was fucking into you romantic missionary style, you came with a sob and your body curled into itself. You tugged Adam away from your overstimulated hole. The fact that you were clenching around nothing made you a bit sad.

“If I ever say no to fucking you, honey pot, I need you to take me out the back and shoot me in the head.” Adam told you matter of fact.

You dumbly nodded at his words. Whatever he wants he can get. Genuinely.

“How are you so good at everything?” Your already barley existent filter was gone now in a post orgasmic haze.

Adam laughed at you, “What can I say, I’m a real pussy pleaser.” He sat properly up in the seat, tugging everything away properly. He must have thrown the condom away when your brain was still mush. Reaching over he grasped your arm and dragged you into his lap.

Once you rested your face against your shoulder, bare skin against bare skin and the heat radiating from his body you felt sleep over come you. Adam grasped your shoulders and shook you awake. Literally. You thought you were going to fall on the nasty floor where your guys used condoms laid around. At least the only condoms there were yours?

“You fallin' asleep on me again, baby?”

“Yes. So. Silence, m’tired.” You barley mumbled out. Throwing your head into Adam’s neck again.

“Get back to the passenger seat, slut. I’m driving you home.”

Groaning as if Adam just killed you, you crawled to the front again. There you also put your sweater back on and pocketed your phone. Your keys were also safe with you. That’s good, you love not being locked out. You adjusted your panties while you were at it.

Resting your head against the window, you closed your eyes again while Adam got back into the drivers seat. Turning on the engine, he started driving towards your home.

Since you were half asleep, it felt like it took a second for Adam to arrive in front of your apartment complex. You mumbled out a tired ‘Thanks for the ride.’ and climbed out of the seat.

“You know usu-“

You slammed the door shut before Adam could finish that sentence. The plan was to act like you didn’t hear him. Simply walking towards the entrance, you opened the door and opened it fully by pressing your side against it. You couldn’t care less about the usual. The less you knew of other girls the happier you are.

You looked back at the car, to at least wave Adam bye or something, but when you saw him slam his head against the wheel you stopped in your tracks. You watched the display of his frustration for a few seconds, he then raised his head, probably to check if you got in safely. He froze in horror when he realised you saw that.

Truth be told, you didn’t think Adam was capable of embarrassment. But here he was.

Holding eye contact for a painful second, you simply shook your head and quickly got inside. Walking up the stairs towards your apartment, you unlocked the door, threw off your shoes and collapsed into your bed.

———————————-

Since you usually keep your word, you started texting Adam back whenever you could. At least that seemed to make him happy. You think. It’s hard to tell over text. You also made an appointment with your obgyn, or as Adam called it your ‘Pussy doctor’. You’re close to blocking him.

On Monday, you walked with your friend towards her car in the uni parking lot. You were going to meet up with your other friends for lunch.

Of course Adam was also there, his car parked right across your friend. Gahh. His band members were with him, he just unlocked the car when everyone tumbled in. You could hear your ex call out, “Dude, what the fuck?! Are those used condoms!?”

You were going to kill Adam and then yourself. WAS HE WINKING AT YOU?? He’s dead. Thankfully no one noticed.

Your friend made a face at that info being yelled out across the parking lot, she unlocked her own car and got in. You didn’t hear more from the exchange, but from the way Adam looked happy you knew he was taunting your ex.

Your friend fastened her seatbelt, “I don’t get how anyone can fuck Adam. Like, he’s so disgusting, disrespectful, misogynistic..”

Biting at your lip, you already knew your friends would be mad at you if they found out about you and Adam from someone else besides you. Looking around the car, to make sure the windows were really closed, you took a deep breath.

Adam was in his own car, signalling to her that she has the right of way. She made a quick thank-you-wave and was about to back out of the parking space.

“I did.”

She slammed into the breaks, causing you to be catapulted forwards. The way she starred at you without saying anything, made you uncomfortable. She was speed running all the stages of grief, you could clearly see that. She sighed heavily, like the whole world was resting on her shoulders with your confession.

“……..Is he really that big?”

[sugrhigh]

BOY NEXT DOOR 9 - ( c.s )

part eight

summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.

warnings- angst, swearing, i think that’s it

a/n: i’m back my little goblins let’s get it!!!! part ten of this series will be the final part, and then i plan on writing an ‘epilogue’ type chapter to wrap it all up. i’m hoping to have them up as quickly as possible, but ive been absolutely slammed so im sorry if it takes me a minute. i love u always and i’ve missed being on here so i hope you enjoy <3

(if you asked to be tagged in the last part and weren’t tagged it’s bcs it wouldn’t let me!! i’m so sorry i tried my hardest)

to be let down, you have to expect something from someone. it’s a mistake you’ve made far too frequently in your years on earth, especially in college, but this time around the grief is debilitating.

you spend the rest of your weekend locked inside your room, attempting to sleep away the heartbreak. somehow dreaming almost makes it worse; for a second you’re able to forget about being completely humiliated, until you wake up in reality once more.

it doesn’t help that chris has been absolutely blowing up your phone since the moment you left. every call and text goes unanswered. it’s impossible to read them, so most of the time you don’t.

hell, you can’t even open your curtains because you’re too scared that he’ll be looking back at you when you do. so you block out the sunlight, ensuring that your room matches your dreary feelings.

you figure he’ll give up on trying to talk to you eventually. you’re not different. he’s not different. and once chris regains that pride of his, he’ll go right back to fucking some other girl he won’t care about half as much.

thoughts like those make you cry even harder, as much as you hate it. but you know the disinterest will wash over him sooner or later, and you resent that inevitable day.

cassidy and ramona check on you pretty much every other hour. it makes you feel even worse that they’re so concerned, but neither of them have ever seen you like this. at least not since freshman year, when you dated an upperclassman for a couple months just for him to dump you over text.

even that heartache was relatively short-lived. but this pain follows you into the week, trailing behind you like a shadow you can’t get rid of. it sits beside you in class, curls up next to you in bed, weighs your shoulders down whenever you walk.

it feels like you’re struggling to stay afloat, to even act like a real human anymore. chris consumes your brain, and so do the ‘what if’s’ of your situation. it makes the week drag on, even though you try to spend most of it asleep.

to make matters worse, his multiple notifications continue with a routine consistency, almost like clockwork. you figured he’d already be over it, but he clearly doesn’t want to make himself easy to forget.

you have to admit that you’re glad his persistence lasted at least this long, even if it’s for selfish reasons. you’re disgusted that the attention satisfies you, but it’s not an unwelcome change considering all you’ve been feeling lately is queasy.

still, you don’t read them, or pick up when he calls. you can’t hear his voice, because you know it’ll absolutely break you.

and then finally, on friday, you see him in the flesh. you’re walking home from your bus stop after the only lecture you managed to get to that day, and there he is, getting out of his car.

your throat seizes up; there’s no way to avoid this. it’s easy to ice someone out over text, but it’s a hell of a lot harder when he’s your neighbor.

before you can snap your head away he’s turning to look in your direction, eyes equally as wide as yours once the recognition washes over him. he looks like shit, and yet he’s still so goddamn beautiful it makes you physically sick.

for a brief moment, everything stops. you just stare at each other.

chris takes in you in, the way you look noticeably drained. he feels that familiar nauseous pang in his stomach flare up, knowing that he stole the spark from your eyes.

the worst part is that you’ll never look at him with that fire again. there’s nothing he can do to bring it back now, no way to reverse the past.

then—before he can decide what to do in the present—you break the spell, cutting through your other neighbor’s lawn to get to your front porch. everything in him wants to run after you, so much so that he has to physically restrain himself.

you hear him calling after you, and something about him shouting your name stirs the tears awake once more. but you make it through the door before they fall, because you can’t show any more vulnerability than you already have.

getting inside doesn’t mean that you make it up the stairs, though. the physical and emotional exhaustion catches up to you, and you collapse around halfway through your blurry climb to your room.

your elbows dig into your kneecaps, hands holding your head while you sob. it seems impossible to catch your breath, or calm down in the slightest, and your cries only grow louder.

normally you’d be careful about the noise, but there’s no one to hide from right now. nobody is home. it’s just you and your thoughts, which, as always, are full of him.

you may be able to push him out of your life, but you have a feeling he’ll be lingering in the corners of your mind forever.

the post-game locker room mood is completely miserable tonight. after that last minute loss and the thirty minute bitch-session they just endured from their coach, it honestly should be.

chris barely even has his skates off before his teammates are all over him, which he expected but still dreaded.

his head’s not in it, and everybody knows.

“what the fuck is wrong with you, man? it’s like you’re not even awake out there.” one of the team’s leading defensemen, luke, yanks him up by his jersey roughly.

for a second he pauses, setting his jaw and puffing his chest out slightly. the accusation, though it’s not completely untrue, pisses him off.

so much so that chris retaliates by shoving him back to his rightful place a foot away. “get the hell off of me, man.”

luke looks like he’s ready to jump into action again, but connor steps in between before anything else can happen. he’s also very visibly angry, a side that doesn’t come out often.

and just because he stopped a physical fight from breaking out doesn’t mean he’s going to stay silent. “he’s right. you’re playing like shit, and we‘re way too far into the season to be blowing it now, especially with selection show right around the corner.”

chris can feel his blood is boiling at this point, knowing that even his roommate is going to support this kind of disrespect towards his own captain. the rest of the team is watching silently, but he can’t find it anywhere in himself to care.

the words have already bubbled up, and he won’t hold them back anymore.

“oh come on, it’s not like anyone else was stepping up! dylan turned the puck over every other play, ben was offside during that odd man rush, and don’t even get me started on you and the high sticking penalty that just lost us that fucking game.” he shoves his pointer finger against connor’s chest for emphasis, trying to make sure his criticism stings as much as possible.

but his friend is quick to swat his hand away, shaking his head once sharply.

“no, you don’t get to turn it on everyone else. you lost it for us during that sorry excuse of a penalty kill. you let that little UMass shit go right by you, which is why he had a wide open shot to score the game winner. you’ve been making dumb mistakes like that for two weeks now, and we all know why.”

that implication is enough to send chris over the edge, because nobody has the right to mention what happened between you and him. knowing about the situation doesn’t mean they should get to speak on it.

he can feel his fingernails digging into his palms, both hands balled into tight fists at his side. the anger coursing through his body makes him shake ever so slightly, almost like he’s humming.

“keep going and i’ll bust your fucking face in.” chris says, voice eerily calm despite the fact that his body is screaming.

but connor doesn’t back down; he stands tall with an unwavering gaze that’s more serious than ever before. “you gotta grow a pair and start being our captain again. you fucked up, and losing someone you’re actually into because of that sucks. most of us have been there. but trying to throw everyone under the bus is bullshit when you’re the one that needs to get it together.”

nothing about his words are intentionally meant to hurt, and chris knows that, but for some reason they do. probably because he doesn’t want to hear the truth, or start coming to terms with the fact that he actually did lose you.

he really doesn’t ever want to accept it.

but his ego won’t let him say that. instead, chris shifts his gaze to observe the rest of the room, at all of his teammates, before focusing on connor once again.

“if you don’t think that i’m your captain anymore then find a new one.” he spits.

the room somehow gets even more quiet; everyone is stunned by the out-of-character reaction. for the most part, chris really is a good leader. they all voted for him to represent the team when it came time, and the group dynamic has been great since then.

but he doesn’t feel like that guy now. he’s not sure who he is anymore. so he throws the rest of his equipment into his bag and yanks it over his shoulder.

“really, chris?” it’s ben this time, who’s clearly dumbfounded by the theatrics.

he doesn’t respond, and he tries not to hesitate too much as he makes his way out of the locker room. everyone lets him pass, which makes it even harder to leave.

it feels so wrong, but his feet keep pushing him forward regardless.

when chris finally makes it home twenty minutes later, the frustration has only festered. he doesn’t like anything he’s doing, and yet it’s spiraling out of his control. by the time he gets to his room, tears of aggravation have made their way down his face.

he wipes them away harshly as he stares out his window at your room, which is still closed off by your curtains. it’s like his heart seizes up just from being this close to you, knowing that you’re in there yet he can’t reach you.

and maybe that’s the problem. chris loves hockey, but at the end of the day he clearly loves you more. and with things the way that they are, his heart is fully wrapped up in you, not the game.

it’s terrifying, and it’s painful. he never thought that there’d be anyone to test his bachelor lifestyle until you came around, and he can’t just go back to normal because he doesn’t know how.

he’s been permanently changed, and it feels like a huge part of his new life is suddenly missing.

you saw the deepest parts of him, parts that he didn’t even know existed, and he saw the same side of you. you challenged him in ways he’d never experienced, and he loved that he always felt like he was evolving when you were together.

now he just feels stagnant, unsure of himself.

the only thing he’s sure of is that he needs you, whether that makes him inconsiderate or not. he can’t keep sleepwalking through life, but he’s not sure what else there is to do.

simply put, he misses you like hell. so he lays back in bed and closes his eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to have you right beside him.

@fawnchives @l9vesick @55sturn @luverboychris @teapartyprincess4two @pinksturniolo @mattinside @stonermattsgf @impureals @chrisactualwife @fikefries @riasturns @mattybsbitch @mattsmunch @sturnifyed @julessspoetry @beijhe @gnxosblog @braindead4l @orangeypepsi @ponyosturniolo @cupidsword @rainydayenthusiast @sturnvvz @wurlibydominicfike @poopydroopt @bernardsleftbootycheek @trilliwarner @rubyjanexxx @reallykaz @neatcarrot767 @kirby0strombolli @bunnysturns @junnniiieee07 @hrt-attack @sturnssmuts @stunza @beccaluvschris @asturniolos @slutz4sturniolos @mattslolita @alorsxsturn @sturnrc @chrissystur @kellsbells-18 @realqueenofpepsi @snowysosturn @secretfangirly @scarlettbitches @satvisfavetoodles

[fictional-reylin]

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ Hawks // Takami Keigo with an underground hero

Warnings: Reader having intrusive thoughts about violence, Reader being horny for Keigo, nothing explicit, mention of blood

Word Count: 3.500

Author’s notes: Didn't know if I wanted Reader to be flustered by Hawks attitude or annoyed since the original post didn’t have a specific reaction, so I did both. I may have made the reader a bit too aggressive, I'm sorry. Also, was inspired by this post. I noticed that there was like a whole "saga" following it but I already had the idea for my ending so I just added bits and pieces where I could.

You are welcome to send requests, don't forget to check this post: ಇ.┊[requests] .ᐟ

It was late in the evening, maybe like three hours after school hours have finished. You were walking back from your way to work to finally catch a break when you noticed your old teacher from UA. You and Aizawa have kept in contact after you had graduated, but never really had the time to speak casually until today. So now you were sitting on a bench in some random park waiting for Aizawa to return with some coffee to catch up. Only for him to sit and complain with you about his current students now that you were an adult and could understand why he found kids annoying.

“I swear, these stupid kids are going to kill me one of these days…”

You took a sip of your coffee that he ordered for you, scrunching up your nose in disgust before swiftly pouring the rest of the drink in the nearby bushes. “Well you said the same thing about my class yet here you are, still alive” you said casually, remembering how annoyed he used to be with your class and antics that you all pulled off. You turned to look at him only to find him throwing you an annoyed glare, but you just laughed at that.

“Remind me why I even bother keeping contact with you ?”

“Cause I’m your favourite old student ?”

Before Aizawa had the time to object to that, you heard your work phone buzzing in your pocket and took it out, thinking that it was some kind of emergency if they called you after your shift. Reading the email that was sent to you, your eyes widened slightly, and the older man raised an eyebrow at that.

“What is it ?”

You re-read it a second time, making sure that you weren’t imagining it, before you read it out loud to him. “They’re inviting me to… some hero event ? Isn’t this defeating the purpose of me being an underground hero ?” You turned to him dumbfounded, and he just shrugged, sitting back and continuing to drink his coffee.

“They sometimes do that. They see an underground pro with a “Bigger Potential” as they say and try to get them to be more public. It makes them more money, and people consider this as a bit of an ego boost.”

You scoffed, you didn’t know if you should be flattered that they noticed you enough to invite you or insulted that they thought you were the type of person to easily chase after fame. Either way, you shoved your phone back into your pocket and crossed your arms over your chest. Aizawa noticed this and decided that for once he would be openly comforting. “You shouldn’t this an insult, you’re a great hero [Name]. And maybe you should consider going.”

You gave him a deadpan look, thinking that maybe from the last time you two spoke he developed some sense of humour. But by the serious look on his face, you guessed that it wasn’t a poor attempt at a joke.

“Are you kidding me ? You hate the paparazzi”

“But you don’t.” He interjected, “At least not as much as me. And you can always just be present there, talk to so some interviewers see how it all works and then go back to working as an underground hero. It’s not like you’re going to stand out much when the top ten, even twenty heroes are going to be present.”

In hindsight, he was right. Amongst the sea of popular heroes whose interviews people were dying to watch, you wouldn’t stand out like a sore thumb, you would be more like a needle in a haystack in this situation. And to be frank, you were always curious about this sort of events since you didn’t know any public heroes, at least not personally. “Well, I would like to experiment with that but… I would feel out of place. Plus, what am I supposed to do when I’m not talking to interviewers ? Look at a random wall ?”

Aizawa was almost regretting encouraging you into actually going, seeing how nervous you were getting solely at the thought of it, but he sighed and calmed himself down for your sake. “If you really nervous about going alone, I can ask Hizashi to accompany you there since he’s going anyway, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind catching up with an old student while there.”

You were so happy about him taking the extra step to make you confident in accepting the invitation that you almost hugged him, but quickly stopped yourself and simply bowed before you could embarrass yourself, “Thank you, Mr. Aizawa !”

Getting ready for that hero event was more torturous than you had expected at the start, because it felt like a dumb family reunion from your teenage years all over again. You wanted to dress casual because in the invitation there wasn’t even a specific theme that they were going for the event, so you were expected to just show up. But according to your friends that previously watched it on TV from a year ago, this was totally unacceptable, and you had to put extra effort into your appearance. Apparently, the fact that heroes were tired every single day from fighting and keeping Japan safe wasn’t enough of an excuse to be casual for one day, and they had to dress up for a bunch of strangers that they were never going to meet again for the rest of their lives.

So here you were, standing in a dress that you deemed was fancy enough for you to not get judgmental looks from the other guests and some light makeup to hopefully hide your tired face. Even though your friends cheered you on when you showed them your outfit, you still felt something was going to go wrong this night. But you decided to brush it off, blaming it on your nerves. You figured that since you weren’t important for the media anyway, nobody was going to pay you the slightest attention. Taking your bag, you locked the door of your flat behind you and quickly made your way outside, waiting for your ride to arrive.

So here you were, riding along with your two old teachers, Present Mic and Midnight. It felt weird given that unlike Aizawa, you didn’t keep in contact with the two of them after your graduation, yet these two were treating you so casually. You figured it was a way for them to show you that they respected you as a fellow hero or something, but it felt too odd coming from your previous teachers, especially Kayama who kept bugging you about your love life and such, to which you could only respond with fidgeting and a nervous smile. Thankfully you didn’t have to listen to any more of her questions since the three of you finally arrived. The first thing you noticed is the extreme number of paparazzi inside and outside the building, the bright camera flashes almost making it impossible to see properly.

You got out of the car, following suit after the blond man to not get lost and end up alone in the big crowd of unknown people. Last thing you needed was to get stuck chatting with heroes that you had no interest in talking to and having to explain your quirk like ten times in a row to different people. Kayama being herself obviously went off to flirt with someone while Yamada stayed close to you and decided to spend time catching up with you, you guessed it was because Aizawa never actually talked about you or never specifically brought you up.

“So, how’s the hero life treating ya, kid ? Everything you expected from when you graduated, or you’re ready to quit ?”

“Isn’t every job that exists making you feel like you’re ready to quit at some point ?”

You did some more catching up with him, talks about hero work and just life in general after graduating from UA, before eventually it was your tun to be interviewed, and surprisingly you enjoyed it. It wasn’t something that you would want to do every single time, you chose to be an underground hero for a reason after all, but it still felt nice to get some sort of attention. Like people saw you and acknowledge you for what you did because it was right, not because you looked cool while doing it. Even if it didn’t last very long and the interviewer immediately turned his attention to Present Mic and talked about how he was so awesome and in return the hero kept shouting compliments and anecdotes, but you were too busy covering your eras to not become deaf to hear anything he yelled, which was too loud for you even if he didn’t use his quirk.

The next day after the event, you sat on your couch and decided that since it was your day off, you could spend some time watching the interview that you did just for some fun. Everything was how you remembered, you took some time to admire your outfit, before you noticed something that made you a bit flustered: Hawks, the number two hero Hawks, passing by you and staring at you, like full on eye fucking you. You sat there for a couple of seconds before telling yourself that he was probably staring at someone else. He couldn’t possibly be staring at you, what kind of reputation he would have if he would just stare at random pro heroes that were only invited on a whim.

Then out of curiosity, you decided to watch his interviews. Everything was normal, some questions about his work, fans, etc… Until you pass somewhere behind him, the camera focusing on him barely catching your silhouette as he turns to yet again stare at you, less openly this time. Then he’s turning back to the camera, and you swear to God you can pass out from his words. “Damn, who is that ?” The way he’s saying it, plus how you can clearly see his face turning slightly red, has your brain short-circuiting and making you hide our face in a pillow like a teenager who got a confession from their crush.

But after some thinking about it, you sit up and now, you’re actually feeling annoyed. If you had just been interviewed, then people would probably forget about you in a week or so. But this is the № 2 hero we’re talking about, people will be gossiping about it for months, maybe even call out to you on the streets, with paparazzi spreading any sort of gossip to make money out of it. And the crazy fangirls, you weren’t ready to wake up to death threats by fanatics that somehow found your private account and thought that Hawks was their boyfriend.

Before you could get angrier about the situation, you heard your personal phone ring and quickly put it on speaker. On the other line, you heard your friend yelling out your name like it was the end of the world or something, which honestly, it felt really fitting to you.

“Did you watch Hawk’s interview from last night ? Dude, he is so into you !”

You could only let out a groan in response to that, sliding from your couch on the floor and hiding your face in your hands. “My life as an underground hero is ruined. Why did I ever decide to go there…”

“Aren’t you a little proud that Hawks of all people thought you are hot ? I mean that’s kind of an accomplishment.”

“I already knew that. I didn’t need someone to say it on national TV” You could only hear a bark of laughter from the other line “Well anyway, I’m sure that something else will pop up and people will quickly forget about Hawks crush, or whatever the media will call it.”

They, in fact, did not forget about Hawks crush on you. And yes, that’s how they called it. For the past week, you had been bombarded with paparazzi, and people from talk shows. They kept inviting you to talk about the situation and your feelings towards the № 2 flirty remarks and questioning about your relationship with him, as if you had any to begin with. His fans who theorized online if the two of you were secretly dating and were just putting on a show for everyone, as if. And just as you had expected, his fangirls were going crazy over this, threatening you to stay away from him. You almost wanted to fake a confession just to see who was willing to find you and murder you in your own home so that Hawks would feel guilty about his comments. But you decided that your intrusive thoughts were best kept inside your brain.

Even villains begin to recognize you, and it especially felt humiliating when you were about to arrest them and all they cared about is if the rumours were true, followed by your teammates' laughter. Hell, even Hawks was pouring salt on the wound. Of all the things that he could have answered when talking in another interview when they brought up the clip of him looking at you and what was your relationship, he responded “If I’m lucky, my future spouse”. The only thing that filled your thoughts at that moment is how you wanted to rip off his swings so that he would finally stop smiling. And again, you decided to keep your intrusive thoughts to yourself.

This had been exhausting to say the least, to the point where you were asked to take a break by every single one of your friends because of how… not mentally okay you looked. It’s not like they were wrong; you kept beating yourself up from every single failed mission because instead of stealthy defeating a villain, your hero name was screamed and shouted at you, making you lose your concentration. It left you wondering how others put on a show when fighting. Lucky for you, you didn’t have to wonder more because some big scandal about Mountain Lady got out, and you were quickly forgotten and were able to come back to that quiet life. Even if some articles about the subject would pop up, people mostly just ignored it and shrugged it off as Hawks being his usual flirt. Which, all things considered, was kind of true, so you didn’t have to worry about him remembering you either if someday your unluckiness forced you to meet him.

…

“I jinxed it, didn't I…?”

It was a couple of days after the scandal with Mountain Lady. You were leaning on the side of a building, munching on whatever dessert you had ordered, the fancy name that it was given already forgotten. When suddenly, you noticed a pair of red wings out of the corner of your eye. That alone was enough for you to start feeling a mix of annoyance and anxiety slowly building up, and that only worsened when he spoke.:

“Heeeey, you’re that sexy underground pro I saw last time. How you doing hot stuff ?”

Currently, your mind was torn between wanting to leave multiple stab wounds over his whole body or making him leave multiple love bites over yours. You knew the guy was handsome, but dammit, seeing him in real life and to top it off in casual clothing was doing something to your body and mind. “So that’s why people say that cameras don’t do him justice. Noted…”

“You birdbrain had managed to ruin my entire image in just two interviews, which by the way I don’t know if you care enough, was not supposed to exist at all. You know how many people called out to me while I was on a mission, and even more had asked me if we were a thing ! And what the hell were you thinking by basically telling people that you wanted to marry me someday ?!” You whisper yelled at him, but apparently your anger towards the man in front of you was doing nothing but amuse him in response.

“Well, what were you thinking when you decided to go there ? That’s a public event sweetheart; people were bound to notice you. Plus…” He leaned closer to you, hands casually resting inside his pockets as he looked down at you with a smug grin. “By the way your cheeks are burning up, I have a good guess that it’s not because you’re angry. So I feel like you enjoy my attention.”

You could’ve answered with a snarky comment; you could’ve acted aggressive towards like you did all this time when you thought about confronting him, you could’ve just glared at him to not give him any satisfaction of being right about your feelings. Instead, your face got even more red than it already was, and you just sprinted off before he could another embarrassing comment about your state. And Hawks couldn’t do anything but stare in amusement as you got further away from him. He had expected you to react like this, but he was not ready to how much he would enjoy this “cute…” He thought to himself, before entering the coffee shop like he initially planned.

After that incident, you thought that you wouldn’t have to see the winged hero again, since you basically stalked all of his accounts to know where not to go when you weren’t on hero duty. But fate had yet again decided to go against your wishes, since not even two days after that, you bumped into each other again, in a less-than-ideal moment at that.

Hawks was busy chasing a mutant type of villain that no one could catch because he kept liquefying his body, when he got into a building. He chased after him, settling for a run since his wings didn’t have enough room to spread properly and let him fly. But before Hawks could do anything, the villain grabbed a civilian that was passing by, pressing a knife against their throat so that Hawks would have no other choice but to let him go. The civilian in question was you, just coming back from grocery shopping with now facing the winged hero as he thought about a solution to not get you killed in the process of arresting this guy.

To put it simply, the situation annoyed you. You were exhausted from hero work, and the only thing you wanted to do right now was go back home to satisfy your hunger with the meal that you had just bought. And you were not going to wait for that birdbrain to come up with a plan while you were at the brink of death only because he was useless at the moment. So, you grabbed hold of the knife along with the shoulder of the villain and threw him over you with full force. You looked down on him, an unimpressed look on your face. “Before taking a hostage make sure they’re not a hero, or don’t do martial arts” You glanced at your now bleeding hand that was holding the knife, sighing at the fact that you would have to clean the floor afterwards to not scare your neighbours.

Hawks didn’t waste any time to cuff the villain, and immediately after checking on you, “I’m so sorry for this. Let me help you clean your-” You cut him off by showing your now completely healed hand, as if the incident had never happened, minus the little scare that would also disappear with time. “Fast healing. Don’t worry about it” He stared dumbfounded at your hand, before eventually regaining his composure and going back to his cheerful persona, a satisfied grin on his face.

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay… And I really am sorry.”

You raised an eyebrow, shoving your hands into your pockets. “For making me almost die or the interview ?”

“Whatever you choose, songbird”

You scoffed, watching as he descended the stairs to finally leave. You leaned against the railings, looking down at him as he made his way down before shouting “If you feel sorry for the latter, you can always invite me to dinner !”

He looked up, a smirk on his face as he considered your offer before replying in a very enthusiastic manner, “Be ready tomorrow at ten. Casual.”

And with that, he finally left. You pushed yourself up, walking towards your door as you picked up your groceries, humming to yourself. “Should have invited him inside maybe…? Nah, then the poor villain would be stuck listening.”

ಇ.┊[bnha masterlist] .ᐟ ಇ.┊[AO3 version] .ᐟ ಇ.┊[navigation] .ᐟ

@moodyvoid

[signedamaryllis]

Naberius Kalego NSFW Headcanons

Fandom: Welcome to demon school! Iruma-kun

Pairing: Naberius Kalego x Reader

Type: Headcanons

C/TW: MDNI, 18+, NSFW, Kalego is a bottom

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ I can definitely see and understand why people see him as a dom top but honestly he’s such a bottom. And a subby one at that.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Is really stubborn and tsundere about it

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ When you’re riding his large cock on the bed though, he’s trying to be quiet to make it seem like he’s not as excited to be a bottom—but he is; he whimpers

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He wants you to mark him up with hickeys, bites, and scratches but you must keep it below the neck—don’t want anyone at work raising a brow at what he does in his free time at home with you

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ likes marking you up, usually with hickeys and small bruises from his hands gripping your hips a little too firmly when you’re riding him

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Also will only do it in the privacy of his or your home. If you live with others or in an apartment though, his place more often than not since he lives alone in a mansion and can be loud without worry of anyone hearing

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Will probably either grip your hips while you ride or the sheets

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ If you don’t have a dick…pegging is a possibility. Which also means penetration is on the table 👀

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ I don’t see him as the type to get laid with someone as a one night stand or so early in a relationship. Honestly you’d have to wait, especially when consider how much of a subby bottom he is—he has to know he can fully 100% trust you

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He can top but he’s more so pleasing you, doing things how you like and he probably wouldn’t be so fast or rough

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Appeal to the dog in him 👀 call him things like “good boy”, please. Praise this man. Do not degrade him, he needs the praise!

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He has a love hate thing with getting sucked off. On one hand it feels amazing but on the other he feels it degrades you somehow and he doesn’t like that. Especially when it comes to swallowing his cum; it’s a love hate thing. You swallowing it feels degrading in some way but if you spit it out it makes him feel a little upset. It’s a lose lose situation really.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ if you got a pussy to eat out however? He loves to do it, very passionately, gets really into it. He’s not a dom but when eating pussy he will keep you there until your legs are trembling and give out.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Got a dick or strap on for him to suck? He’s really tsundere about it but would do it, sucking the life out of it, even if it’s plastic. It’s probably weirdly therapeutic for him after a long day of headaches and work. Would drool on it. 100%.

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Aftercare is 50/50

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ either the best aftercare where you both lay cuddled up together, sweaty and maybe take a shower together and eat/drink something together. Perhaps watch some television, put on his favourite classical music composer

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ or he gets really embarrassed about aftercare and would prefer to clean up and immediately go do something on his own to cool down. Don’t take it too personally though, he just feels weirdly embarrassed looking at you after you just fucked his brains out and now are wanting to be loving with him. It’s like a 180 for him lol

I’ve been wanting to make this side blog for the longest time and to express how much of a fucking bottom this man is and here we are!! Finally!!!

[kurishiri]

Alfons Sylvatica ┊ Chaotic Night

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— happy christmas, friends! i present to you...a halloween story lmao this is alfons' story from the chaotic night collection event (featuring will and nica)!

— cw: some suggestiveness, but no portrayed smut.

Due to having ingested the Queen of the Night flower, the Cursed ones’ appearances have changed——

And pulling my hand, Alfons brought me to his room.

Kate: Why did you bring me to your room?

Alfons: You’re asking me that in earnest? There are brutes, all with their Curses amplified, riddled about, you know?

A: With you around, why you’d be gobbled right up.

Kate: But, everyone’s appearance has changed and there may have been changes in their condition... I would think there’s quite a bit of inconvenience.

K: I’m not affected by this, though, so I figured there was something I could do to help or take care of those around me...

Alfons: I do understand the sentiment of wanting to take care of others, but you may end up worrying too much.

A: Just like the ‘Queen of the Night,’ our sins have also amplified...

A: So I would imagine everyone is trying their hardest to hold in the impulses smoldering in their chests.

A: It would be in our best interest to lay low then.

(He does have a point there...)

Kate: ...Alright then, I’ll stay here quietly.

Alfons: Oh, but if your soft and good heart stirs so much and you want to look after someone so much you can hardly bear it, then do take care of me.

A: See, dear me, Alfons’ appearance has changed as well, and what a dire situation he is in, yes?

...was what he said, as I once again looked over his body.

(For some reason, he’s wrapped around in gauze...)

(He’s not wearing a costume, and he’s looked like this since he ingested the queen of the night extract, right...?)

As gauze was not meant to be put on and removed by one’s own volition, even if he lightly pulled on it, it wouldn’t come off.

Kate: With that look... are you hurt anywhere, or did you go through any pain and whatnot?

Alfons: Hardly. My whole body from head to toe — oh, and this place too — is thriving.

(‘This place’...?)

Kate: Umm... if that’s the case, then it’s fine for now.

K: But, now that I’m looking at it again, it’s kind of strange... why do you look like that?

Alfons: In fact, that was exactly what I wanted to ask you, Kate.

A: You would be the one to know why I’m taking on such a form.

A: After all, whatever appearance I take on is a reflection of your desires.

Kate: Your appearance reflects my desires...? What do you mean?

Alfons: Up until now, I have been showing others illusions.

A: And so, if the extract amplified such an ability...

A: Then, even without touching the back of the other’s neck, I would be able to show them what they wish to see, perhaps?

A: ...Besides that, it was when you laid your eyes on me that I changed appearance.

Kate: B-but I don’t ever want you hurt in the slightest!

Alfons: That is the least I can tell, even without your passionate declaration.

A: You are hardly the type to wish harm on me.

Kate: Then why...

Alfons: Hmm, well...

A: ...Ahh, I have an inkling. This is Japonisme, isn’t it?

Kate: Japonisme... you mean how the culture and art from a country called Japan became a trend?

Alfons: Exactly that. In Japan, there is a type of clothing called a kimono, you see...

A: And within that is a part called the obi [1], in which all will be laid bare with one flourish... was a part of their culture.

A: Oh, and by the way, when it’s been removed, the wearer would shout, ‘Oh me, oh my!’ while falling upon the bed.

Kate: ...Was that really a thing?

Alfons: Who knows? I, too, have only ever heard it in passing... well, anyhow, what I wanted to say was...

A: You probably wanted to wrap me in bandages before pulling it all off in one go.

Kate: Wh— why would I be into that sort of naughty thing...!?

Alfons: But you could have been influenced by me, no?

Kate: ...It pains me to admit that I can’t completely argue with that.

Alfons: Ahha! I won’t judge no matter how many strange hobbies you hold, you know?

A: How about you try to take them off, just to test the theory?

(Just what desire of mine caused Alfons to take on such an appearance, I wonder...?)

(It’s not as though I particularly like bandages...)

Then, while thinking about my own tastes...

Alfons: Urgh...

Alfons let out a small groan.

Kate: Did something happen!?

Alfons: The bandages around me wrapped even tighter... and it’s become a tad painful.

Kate: Wha...

Alfons: ...Ahh, but worry not. I do feel being bound to your desires like this isn’t so bad...

As Alfons said that, his expression looked a little pale. He was clearly holding it in.

(I need to stop my desire quick, or Alfons will continue to be in pain like this...!)

(Bandages... bondage... just what’s the reason? What in the world am I wishing for...!?)

I continued to mull on it as hard as I could, in hopes of saving Alfons... when it was then I realized.

(Could it be...!)

Kate: Alfons, say, ‘There’s only the two of us in this room’ to me!

Alfons: ...? ‘There’s only the two of us in this room’...

Albeit hesitant, Alfons said those words, and...

Alfons: Ah... the bandages feel more loose.

Kate: Thank goodness... which would mean my guess was right.

Alfons: Care to explain?

Kate: Well... the other day when we went out to eat together, there were a lot of women in the shop...

K: And many of those women seemed pretty taken by you, so...

K: I ended up thinking, ‘If only nobody else could see Alfons...’

Alfons: Hehe... I see now. So that’s what it was.

A: You didn’t want anyone else seeing me, and so by wrapping me all around in bandages, you could hide me away... is that it?

A: In that case, ‘there’s only the two of us in this room’ would make sense.

A: If it’s just the two of us, there is nobody but you to see me, so there would be no need to wrap me up in bandages then.

Kate: So it really was my desire that left you looking like this... I’m really sorry.

Alfons: Why the apology?

A: To see your earnest love manifest in a way that’s easy to understand is rather a good thing, no?

A: Love is an invisible thing, and at times I do question its existence. But... to see it like this, it does put me at ease.

With an amused smile, Alfons kissed me.

The heat and sweetness of those lips melted away my guilt.

Alfons: ...Say, Kate. There is only the two of us in this room, with no one to interrupt.

A: So what would follow then?

Kate: T-that...

I was too embarrassed to form any more words, but it no longer had anything to do with whether I said it or not.

My desire unbound Alfons’ bandages, causing his clothes to become disheveled on its own.

Alfons: ...You’re quite naughty, aren’t you, Kate.

While laughing happily, Alfons pushed me down on the bed.

Each of us consuming a jumbled mess of Curses and love, this Chaotic Night was just getting started.

Fin.

masterlist🪞 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms🤍

NOTES:

[1] The obi refers to the part of the kimono, traditional Japanese clothing, that is a sash. It might look something like this.

[moony-noo]

reader x modern au! shikanoin heizou

hey so, i’m not dead⁉️ shocking, i know… This one’s not very long I think, but I really enjoyed writing it. tbh, Heizou definitely is my type of man if he ever existed irl… pls exist? i need u in my life??? anyways…. hope you’ll enjoy! the end feels a bit rushed, ik and im sorryyyy… but idk when I’ll be able to post again so I really wanted to share this one for now.

Best-friend... right?

Heizou and you have been friends— no. Heizou and you have been best friends, since you were children. None of you could explain why and how it clicked between the two of you, but it definitely did.

For different matters, help, requests, that Inazuman people would have for one of you, they wouldn’t just call Heizou or Y/n, but always “Heizou and Y/n”. Which made no sense, right? You were merely a citizen here, working to make enough money to live properly under a roof; while Heizou was none other than the incredible Doushin at the Tenryou Commission— a prodigy detective as he likes to name himself. So, naturally, it was usual that people would seek for him when something happened. Yet, the auburn-haired man had lost count of how many times the elders would say “Where is Y/n?” ; “Isn’t she with you?” ; “You guys always are together”; when he was on a mission. And how many times he had to remind them that the two of you weren’t children anymore. You both had a job, a schedule that made it practically impossible to see each other as much as you used to.

But as beautiful as life— or your friendship, could be, even if your time together had been drastically reduced in the past few years, when you could finally share a moment just you two, it was clear that distance had not managed to change anything in your relationship— as a matter of fact, it only strengthened your bond. Like when you miss your lover so much, and you see them back again after a long time, the kiss you’d share would hold much heavier love than it would’ve before. You felt like it could describe your situation perfectly— but for best friends, of course!

When he would surprise you after a long mission by waiting for you in your house, on the sofa with your favorite snacks on the table; such a thoughtful best friend, right?

Or when you’d prepare the perfect dinner for him when he had told you his day was going to be really hard and tiring earlier in the morning. He’d come back home with lights warming his living room and his favorite meals carefully disposed all around the table. You were such an amazing best friend… right?

But not as amazing as his hugs! Heizou always had been there for you no matter what, and when you were feeling down, even if it wasn’t planned in the first place, he’d visit your house, and you guys would have a long and deep conversation. Then, Heizou would hold you tightly in his arms, his thumbs delicately rubbing your back. He was such… a caring best friend… right?

A best friend…

Best… friend…?

Somehow, these two words didn’t sound great in your head anymore.

Because would best friends really do this? When you’d kiss his cheeks to get his attention back on you while his mind was slightly drifting away, would this gesture still represent the label of “friendship” that you both created?

When he’d delicately hold your chin to make you look deep into his beautiful green eyes. While his mouth would express word that held so much emotions in not only the way they were aligned next to each other as he said them out loud, but also the tone that his voice would perfectly perform; and you’d get lost into his intense stare; would you still consider your feelings towards him “friendship”, as the loud ponders of your heart calling his name would get heavier?

When he’d ramble about something for five minutes straight, but your eyes would only notice how his lips would curled up at every vowels, pinch at some consonants, and your mind would scream at you; saying how amazing they probably tasted; how pleasant they probably would feel against yours… How slow and passionate his kisses probably were… How his fingers, so delicate, would caress your cheek, roam your body as your hands would reach his neck…

No, you were certain of it. Your best friend Shikanoin Heizou was now far gone. The man that stood before you at this moment, was someone that you so deeply desired, and knew was the one for you. Perhaps in fact, he always had been.

“Y/n…” you heard. God, how perfect your name sounded in his voice. Though this time, it felt even more intense than all the last time he called you. Not only because of the new feelings for him you had become conscious about, but also of the unspoken yet infectious desire your name held for him.

When your eyes finally snapped from his alluring lips after he said your name, you realised how close you two now were. You long had been wondering if he ever questioned your friendship and his feelings about you sometimes, but once he shared this long-awaited and hungry kiss, your warmths, and feelings finally connecting together, you were now sure of it; He, too, loved you more than just a “best friend”.

And tonight’s burning desires, your bodies colliding under the perfect moonlight were enough for the both of you to realise how you were made for each other since the very beginning.

[jenscx]

UNDERSTAND — kim chaewon x f!reader

kim chaewon, your best friend and the girl you were in love with, was finally getting married. just not to you.

TAGS — angst, unrequited love, best friends, yn against the world, pining, this is so sad, red flag chaewon (Bad best friend!)

WORDCOUNT — 2.1k

the envelope in your trembling hands feel heavy. the closer it came towards you, the further your heart dropped. the simple words adorned across the back started to slowly choke you. a beige card resided inside, a string of words written that crushed your heart as your eyes glazed over the contents.

‘kim chaewon and kim minju requests the pleasure of your company to celebrate their marriage.’

you squeeze your eyes shut, as if this was a mere nightmare, yet the masochist part of you longs to continue reading. maybe somewhere in the invitation, there would be reasons as to why kim fucking chaewon decided to abandon you for someone else. this wasn’t the whole truth of course. you hated it, but chaewon was never the type to leave anyone. it was just difficult for you to accept the cold and harsh reality of the situation.

it was a dangerous game your head was playing, and your heart was like a marionette on strings to your mind. your phone buzzes, distracting you. messages flowing through your inbox, all full of worry by your friends. and hidden in those words of sympathy, there laid one, from chaewon.

chae ( ̀⌄ ́) [9.17am]:

ynnie!

u got the invite?

you considered not replying, yet, the longing feelings for your best friend pushed you to type out a shaky message.

ynnie (^з^) [9.20am]:

yeah.

i’ll check my schedule

chae ( ̀⌄ ́) [9.21am]:

huh

it’s my wedding!! take a day off

pls yn :<

when you don't reply after a minute, your phone rings with the opening of speak now by taylor swift.

“hello?”

“yn, don’t tell me you’re considering not coming to my wedding?” chaewon says, “you’re my best friend, you have to be one of the bridesmaids!”

your throat clenches up. “unnie, i can't just take a day off,” (you totally could, but it was just easier to say that instead of explaining the real reason for your absence), “and being a bridesmaid? i don’t have time for that, i’m sorry.”

and then sharply, chaewon snaps, “you don’t have time for anything.”

“are you seriously saying that?”

“yes, i am seriously saying that. when’s the last time we hung out, huh? probably in high school. you never have time for me anymore. i’m like, some meaningless stranger that you can’t care for!”

her words make your blood boil. because how could she say that? how could she just ignore all the times she brushed you off to go hang out with minju instead?

and why is she making it a big deal when you’ve never done so in the past?

“don’t say that,” you state firmly, “chaewon unnie. the more you try, the less i feel like attending. i have a life outside of high school friend groups—”

“stop calling me that!” chaewon yells.

you push the phone further from your ears, “calling you what?”

“chaewon unnie. why are you changing your nicknames for me? why are you acting like we’re nothing more than just friends?”

“more than just friends?” you ask, confused.

“we’re best friends! so, please stop being so cold and distant! i’ve know you for so long, what happened to ‘chae’ or ‘wonnie’?”

best friends. you fall silent at her words. until, another voice can be heard from chaewon’s side, one that sounds strikingly familiar with the only girl you’ve ever hated in high school.

“chae? are you on a call with someone?” kim minju’s voice shatters your heart.

“yeah, i’ll be done in a bit, maybe like half an hour?”

you make up your mind on the spot.

“chaewon unnie.”

“oh my god, i just told you to not call me—” her voice breaks and you feel a stab of guilt. a sniffle comes through the line and you can hear the frustration in her voice when she asks, “what?”

you clear your throat, hoping your voice wouldn’t waver when you say slowly, “i don’t think you know me.”

“what?”

“you said that you know me. i don’t think you do.”

a relented sigh of exasperation.

“y/n, i don’t have time for this. get to the point. i need to finish up wedding stuff.”

you nod forlornly, despite chaewon not being able to see you.

“ok. i’ll end the call now. goodbye.”

“what?! wait—”

a flurry of angry messages come through once you end the call. you can’t help but laugh at the situation (and chaewon’s messages).

chae ( ̀⌄ ́) [9.37am]:

YN ANSWER UR PHONE RN

oh my god URE SO ANNOYING

istg im going to come over.

the first thing that you do after skimming through the continuous train of messages is change chaewon’s name to a simple, ‘kim chaewon’, ridding her contact of any affection.

the second thing that you do is send a message to choi yena. a friend of yours that you met through kim chaewon. maybe if you didn’t exist, choi yena would be chaewon’s best friend.

after the read appears, you hear a knock on your apartment door.

oh shit. you widen your eyes. was chaewon actually here?

cautiously, you look through the peephole, breathing out a sigh of relief when yena’s duck-like face comes into view.

“hey,” you greet after opening the door. yena’s eyes glide over the wedding invitation on your dining table.

“oh,” her smirk widens, “is that why chaewon called me screaming about you?”

you shrug. “maybe.”

“and is that why you sent me a text that you needed help?” you shrug again. “you’re lucky i was just in the neighbourhood.”

“do you not have work today?”

“nah,” yena waves you off, “boss is hyewon, remember? bro barely even comes to work herself.”

you laugh heartily, recalling high school days of when hyewon would always show up to class late, panting, sweating and zero assignments done.

“anyway, chaewon had some things to say about you,” yena turns to you, eyes narrowing, “were you actually thinking about not going to their wedding?”

“maybe. i just said that to piss chaewon off, but i really do have work that day.”

she examines your expression carefully, “and you’re not going to take a day off?” you shake your head, sighing. “if i go, it’ll only make things worse.”

yena nods and you let out a sigh of relief inwardly. she was always so understanding towards your feelings for chaewon, having been the first one to know.

“i… i think you’re making a bad choice here,” yena says after a few seconds, “i understand what you’re feeling but i think chaewon’s hurting too. is distancing yourself for the best for both of you? or only for you?”

you’re taken aback.

“unnie, my heart has been hurting for so long. what else can i do?” right as you blurt those words out, yena’s gaze softens and you dip your head down.

“okay. do what you need to do. unnie will always be here to help you.”

your eyes shimmer with unshed tears of gratitude.

“thank you.”

“there’s a woman downstairs demanding to meet you,” kazuha, your assistant, says, “pretty tiny, short hair and very cute but angry.”

you tense up, peeking at kazuha through your bangs, “oh.”

“do i let her up?”

you weigh the options. either ignore chaewon and probably ruin your friendship, or let her up and have a huge argument in your office.

“hm, yeah.”

“yes ma’am!” kazuha salutes and exits the room. you sigh, running your hands through your dishevelled hair, papers strewn on your desk.

deciding that it would be best to clean up a bit before chaewon arrives, you try your best to stack up the documents neatly and arrange your attire.

you could hear footsteps approaching; kazuha’s light ones with chaewon’s angry stomps trailing behind.

the door bursts open, revealing your best friend and assistant, their expressions couldn’t have been more different.

“call me when you need me,” kazuha bows and flashes her gummy smile. you shoot a grateful smile back and turn your attention to chaewon.

she’s dressed in a black spaghetti strapped dress and a random jacket thrown on top of her shoulders. you purse your lips, “what are you doing here?”

“i wouldn’t be here if you had just given me a proper response,” chaewon approaches your desk, eyes aflame.

“is this about that? i already told you, i can’t make it. the date is scheduled at the end of december. year ends are always busier for me.”

“you can’t just take one day off for me? not even for my wedding?” chaewon scoffs, “what type of friend are you?”

you freeze, fists clenched and eyes closed.

“i’m sorry that i can’t make it. this job is important to me. i’m sorry that i’m a bad friend, but i can’t live without this job,” you try to explain, the last thing that you wanted was for chaewon to fling something at you.

“so you could live without our friendship?”

“that’s not what i said. i’m saying that this is the one time i need to prioritise something over you.”

chaewon’s eyes light up in surprise, then they narrow. “this isn’t the only time you are doing so. stop lying.”

“and you haven’t either? don’t act like you’re an angel, kim chaewon,” you snap, “you always ditched me to go hang out with minju.”

“why are you always talking about the past? and for the record, i never ditched you!”

you stare at her.

“you forgot my sixteenth birthday. you forgot that i had a competition. you forgot that my mom was in the hospital and i didn’t have anyone else but you. but you never came. so don’t say that you never ditched me. because you did.”

“you aren’t the most important thing in my life. don’t act like any of that matters. i don't care about you that much.”

oh, you think, this is what true heartbreak feels like. your heart clenches painfully and your throat closes up, making you feel suffocated. your eyes are attacked by an onslaught of tears. your best friend, saying that she didn’t truly care about you? even if you were rid of your affections for chaewon, it would have still hurt.

(and you feel like you’re seventeen again, heart crushed and head ringing with chaewon’s chat open on your phone. the day she had met kim minju was the day your world came crashing down.)

chaewon’s eyes are gleaming. you’re reminded of every attribute of hers that makes her so likeable. from her smile, puffy cheeks, silly personality, you find yourself vulnerable.

“i’ve liked you ever since we became friends. even if you don’t fucking care about me. and i’m sorry if me not attending your wedding hurts your feelings. but it doesn’t matter since you don’t care about me right?” you blurt out, as if you were possessed. tears spring to your eyes and you wipe them hastily.

“what? hey, wait, what do you mean you like me?” chaewon asked, eyes widened.

“i like you. i’m in love with you,” you repeat while chaewon gapes at you.

“i… yn,” chaewon takes a step backwards, “i’m getting married.”

“i know. i just wanted to tell you anyway,” you turn away, not wanting to see the look of disgust on her face.

you both don’t say a word. the sound of the raindrops hitting the windows piercing through the silence. you hear your heart tear into two again when chaewon speaks up, “why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“would you have accepted? would this change anything? you’re still getting married. i just wanted to tell you the truth, so you would just understand.”

before long, the dreaded words finally come.

“i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay.” you can’t believe you hate something about chaewon. the sympathetic look on her face, the way the pitiful words are spoken, you hate it all. a final bittersweet ending to your friendship. it’s finally over. all the yearning, painful pining and nights you’ve spent crying under your blanket. it all led up to this.

“congratulations on your marriage, chae. i hope you and minju stay happy,” you force a smile.

(i will forever love you.)

“thank you, ynnie.”

(thank you for loving me.)

[ariisheresstuff]

Hiii i have a Javier Pena request if thats ok?🤍

I was wondering if you could do something where like Javi is a bit dismissive of the reader, but also not mean just ignores them or talks over them and they think he doesnt like them..

then shes on a mission and she gets injured and hes panicking back at the office. Shouting at steve to know where you are etc. then you come into the office like bruised and bloody and he rushes to you, protective. And he takes you to his and cleans you up, eventually leading to fluffy romantic smut and ending with cuddles and admitting his feelings for you

Scared Feelings

Pairings: Javier Peña x fem!reader

Genre: Angsty + Smut

Warnings: Blood, mentions of dying, cuts, wounds etc. MINORS DNI sex, cursing, naked, cum, you know the drill

MasterList

A/N: Ty for this lovely request! Enjoy! <3

You have been working with agent Peña and agent Murphy for some time. Ever since you three have been on with this Escobar case. This was probably the most serious and risk taking cases you have been on since you started working as a DEA agent. Murphy was a sweetheart around you, being a gentlemen and making sure you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Javi on the other hand, let’s just say you guys don’t talk that much. You wouldn’t consider yourself friends. Sure you two greet each other but it’s very awkward and the tension is very sharp for no reason. Steve tried asking you what’s been the issue between you and Javi but you can’t seem to know why he doesn’t like you. You brush it off mostly, not wanting it to effect you so much.

It’s been months since you guys haven’t caught Escobar and everyone was getting frustrated.

“If we don’t find this son of a bitch, we all are going into a shithole.” Steve gritted out through his teeth.

“We tried everything, nothing. His guys are talking, what else is there to do. He’s too smart for us.” You said as you took a drag from your cigarette,

“Then we outta risk it.” Javi said making you and Steve turn to look at him,

“Then what? Have us die and make shit more complicated here?”

Javi scoffed at Steve’s remark, “This is our job Steve, we’re meant to risk our lives.” You said making Steve sigh, he ran a hand through his mess blonde locks as he shook his head. “Fuck it.”

You were assigned a mission downtown where apparently one of Escobar’s closet henchmen was meeting up with someone relative to Escobar. Unfortunately, Steve and Javi were ordered to stay back at the office and signal out radio stations to get any phone call information from Escobar. You assigned with other DEA agents, you just wished you were with Steve and Javi even though Steve was most likely better to be around in these types of situations. “Currently downtown, no signs of any suspicion yet.” You said over the Walkie-Talkie to Steve

“Copy that.”

“You think she can handle this?” Javi asked as he took a drag from his cigarette

“Of course she can, you think she can’t?”

Javi shrugged “Just saying, she’s never done it without us before.”

Steve smirked as he looked at his partner

“What?”

“You like her, don’t ya?

Javi choked on the smoke from his cigarette “The fuck? What’s your problem?”

Steve just wheezed as Javi was turning red “Aw, come on man, I know you do. Is that why you’re always quiet around her?”

Javi sighed as he leaned back in his chair giving Steve the finger “Shut the fuck up man.” Steve just shrugged as he continued to snicker making Javi grumble.

“He’s on the move.” You said into the Walkie-Talkie as you got out of the vehicle and crouched as you slowly made your way over to the guy, Steve jumped at your voice “Copy that kid, stay hidden.”

“On it.” You signaled the other agents to go in different directions and to follow your lead no matter what. You noticed the guy giving the dude some clear bag with something in it. You couldn’t tell what. “Target in sight.”

“See? Piece of cake for her.” Javi rolled his eyes as him and Steve continued on getting any radio signal but also keeping the lookout for you. You were about to stand up but to only feel someone yank you to the ground. You yelped in surprise as you tried to fight back. Apparently you were tricked. The guy had more of Escobar’s henchmen surrounding the area you were at watching. “I’m down! It’s a trap!” You managed to say in the Walkie-Talkie while confusing to get the guy off of you. Javi’s eyes widened at that as Steve stood up grabbing the Walkie-Talkie. “Y/N! Hey! Kid! What’s going on!” You didn’t have time to answer as you were struggling with some guy on top of you with a gun.

“Perra estúpida, ¿crees que nos engañaste?” Stupid bitch, you think you outsmarted us? The guy said while punching you in the stomach making you yelp in pain, you tried to grab his fist but he was much more stronger than you. You quickly grabbed the Walkie-Talkie trying to respond back to Steve

“Send backup! Send backup!” You yelled as the man grabbed the Walkie-Talkie as started hitting you in the head with it before breaking it.

“Y/N! Hey! Y/N answer me! Shit!” Steve quickly got up to and ran to his and Javi’s office to grab his gun

“The fuck is happening?” Javi asked while also grabbing his gun

“She’s in trouble, it was a trap.”

“Fuck.” Javi said quietly, him and Steve exited the office was about to exit the building when Messina blocked their way

“And where do you think you two are going?”

“Y/N is in trouble boss, she needs backup.”

“I will take care of that, you two aren’t going anywhere.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Messina gave Javi a look

“Yes I am Agent Peña. We need you two signaling in the radio room right now.”

“But Y/N is in serious trouble right now Messina.” Steve said as he was getting frustrated knowing you were in danger.

“I understand that agent Murphy, but we are sending backup right now. I ordered you both a job, correct?”

Javi shook his head as he sighed “Yes Ma’am.” Messina nodded her hand

“Fantastic.” She dismissed them both as they walked back to the radio room.

“Fucking bullshit, she’s in trouble right now and she isn’t doing shit to help her. Fuck!” Javi slammed his gun down on the table harshly as he bounced his leg,

“Javi, calm down. Y/N is a strong one.”

“Anything could happen to her Steve.”

Steve gave Javi this look, “Who Are you and what you have with Javier Peña?”

“Fuck, I don’t have time for this Steve.”

Steve bit down a smile “Knew you liked her man.” He whispered knowing Javi couldn’t hear him.

“Ah!” You yelped as the guy that was broke your Walkie-Talkie slammed you into a wall. Where is Steve? Where is Javi? You kept thinking they weren’t coming. Tears were clouding your vision, you never been in this type of situation before for any mission you were assigned.

“Suéltame pedazo de mierda!” Let go of me you piece of shit! Your nose was bleeding as well as the side of your head from being pushed down in the cement of the sidewalk, you had bruises everywhere. The tears started to fall as you prayed for someone to save you. You jumped at every gunshot that rang around your surroundings, event DEA agent that was working with you was either dead or saving themselves. The guy grabbed you by the throat as he began to block your airway. You gasped for air as you grabbed onto the hand that was around your throat, punching at him to the best of your ability.

“Hora de morir perra DEA.” Time to die DEA bitch his other hand reached down to his gun as he aimed it towards your temple.Your heart was racing as you thought about the last seconds of living, you closed your eyes as the tears began to fall harder “Please…” you gasped out as you felt the coolness of the gun stick harder into your head when all of a sudden a long bang rang through your ears. You body jolted as you felt to ground. Blood splattered all over you as you froze. The guy was laying dead with a gunshot to his head. Your breathing was uneven as you couldn’t process what just happened. You heard the sirens and saw flashing lights appear to view. More DEA agents were sent as they were helping you and the others settle everything. One of them helped you into another car to drive you back to the station. You were shaking the whole and couldn’t even speak with how traumatized you were from the scene.

Javi was pacing around the office while Steve watched him. Javi went through at least two packs of cigarettes in the last few hours. That’s how scared he was for you. He couldn’t even believe he was showing how much he cares about you.

“Dude she’s fine. I’m sure she’s ok-

“How the fuck do you know that Murphy?” Javi snapped at him as his hands started to shake, “it’s been three fucking hours since we heard anything. You call that okay?”

“Javi, the more you think this, the worse it becomes for you.” “I need to know if she’s safe or not or so help me—

he was interrupted by the door opening, he jolted up to see Messina. “We got her.”

Javi and Steve sprinted to the entrance of the office to see you wrapped in a blanket all hurt and scared. You looked up at the two men with tears falling down your face and your bottom lip trembling. “Gosh kid.” Steve muttered as he was the first to pull you into a tight hug and he rubbed your back and shushed your whimpers to calm you down.

“I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know—

“Stop. It’s not your fault. None of this is Y/N.” He gave your shoulders a squeeze as gave you a small smile as you sniffled. You then turned to Javi who had a worried look on his face. Your smile faded as you looked into his brown eyes. He walked up to you slowly before he wrapped his arms around you as he hugged you as well. You body tightened as you froze. Javi never hugged you before.

“I’m glad you’re okay cariño.” He whispered into your ear making sure Steve and the others didn’t hear him. Your body relaxed in his touch as you hid your smile in his chest as you hugged him back. You both pulled away after a few seconds as you gave Javi and Steve a smile making them smile back at you. You all turned towards the entrance as you watched all the men that attacked in handcuffs be sent away into rooms. You felt the heavy weight on your shoulders release knowing that you were safe. Steve was first one to break the silence.

“Well, it’s time for me to head home. Got a wife and kid to deal with.” He said with a snicker making you smile.

“Tell Connie I said hi.”

Steve nodded as he brought you into one last hug for tonight

“If you need anything, you call me. Anything.”

You nodded at Steve as kissed his cheek as a way of saying thank you. Steve smiled as he squeezed your shoulder as a way of saying bye before waving off Javi and telling him about seeing him tomorrow. Now it was just you and Javi. You swayed around as you looked at your fingers. Too shy to start conversation.

“So you heading home or…”

you jumped lightly at his suddenly voice before looking up at him.

“Oh, um I walked here this morning. I’m fine with walking my apartment isn’t far—

“Like hell you’re walking home after what just happened. Come I’ll take you.” You didn’t have a chance to respond as you shrugged before grabbing your things from your desk before walking up to Javi.

“This isn’t my apartment Jav.” You looked out the window to see his and Steve’s apartment, he turn off the car before stepping out and helping you.

“I know, just figured you needed a drink after tonight. Besides I have stuff to help your wounds and shit.”

You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks tingle at that face that he wants to help you. You didn’t say anything before walking up to him as he lead the way to his apartment. You both made it to his floor as he got out his door keys before opening up the door. He stepped to the side as he gave you a small smile “Ladies first.” You giggled as you stepped into his dark apartment

“Why thank you kind sir.” You teased back making Javi chuckle a bit. You looked around his apartment. “Nice apartment.”

“It’s nothing.” You sat down on his couch as he went to the kitchen to get you a drink. You winced as you felt your bruises becoming worse. You sort of forgot about them. Javi came back with a glass of whiskey. You thanked him as he set his own drink down before going down the hall. You drank the strong liquor in silence as you enjoyed the strong bitter taste. You licked your lips as you set the cup back down as Javi came back with a first aid kit. “Javi, I’m fine really. You don’t need to do all of this.” He shook his head

“I know, I just feel like it’s best to see you in good hands rather than suffering.” He sat next to you as he grabbed out a few cotton ball and peroxide. You sighed before nodding

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me cariño.”

Cariño

Something about that name made butterflies appear in your stomach and your cheeks became all red.

You winced as the peroxide was stinging your open wound that was on your cheek. “Sorry.” Javi said as he quickly cleaned up the cut

“It’s okay.”

He set a bandaid on your cheek before giving you a soft smile “You’re all patched up.” You smiled, happy that it was over.

“Wow Javi. Maybe you should be in the medical field instead.” You teased as he shook his head while chuckling. You watched him as he put away the first aid and came back with more whiskey. You watched him fill up both of your cups with golden brown liquid as he took out his cigarette packs. He lit one up as he laid back. You both sat in silence for a while before you spoke up. “Javi?” He hummed in response, you sighed as you felt your heart appear in your throat. “How come you never spoken to me?” Javi felt his heart skip a beat as he looked at you, it caught him off guard. So you did notice it. He thought to himself. He set down his cigarette on the ash tray as he rubbed his hands together.

“Listen. It was nothing about me being against you. No hate towards you or anything like that. It’s just… ever since you came around, I’ve felt nervous being around you.” You gave him a frown making him panic “Not in a bad way, it’s just— fuck— you make me feel these types of things I never experienced before.” Your eyes went wide as you felt your heart tighten,

“W-what do you mean.” Javi sighed as he felt himself getting hot and sweaty. It’s now or never.

“I have these feelings around you. Like deep feelings.” You mouth went dry as you understood what Javi was saying, you swallowed.

“You like me?” Javi looked down as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Yes.” He said quietly but for you to still hear, you froze. “I’m sorry if you felt like I didn’t like you or seemed disrespectful around you. I was just nervous about messing up around you and you thinking I was some dick or something.” You but your lip as you tried to hide the smile appearing on your lips watching him ramble on. “Steve was teasing me about liking you and shit. I’m just a dick for telling you earlier I’m sorr— you cut Javi off as you grabbed the side of his face as smashed your lips on his. It caught Javi off guard as he made a surprised noise and tensing up. He then was brought back down to earth before he relaxed as he wrapped his arms around you to pull you closer. You sighed as your hands traveled to his hair as he cupped your face bringing your face closer and deeper. Javi groaned as you moaned lightly. You both pulled for air but not enough to where your lips were still touching. You both were panting as you both looked into each other’s eyes.

“Was that enough to answer?” You said as Javi chuckled. You leaned your forehead on his as he started to slowly kiss down your neck.

“Hmmm, I don’t know cariño. I think I still don’t understand. Maybe you should show me.” He growled as he started to nip at your neck making you jolt and whine slowly. You crawled into his lap as you started to grind your hips on his already hard cock. Javi groaned as he yanked off his shirt and pants and helping you out of yours. His mouth watered as he stared at your bra. He looked up at you with permission making you nod as you continued to grind on him and moaning.

Javi’s hands were shaking in excitement as he took off your bra with one hand. You looked at him with wide eyes as he smirked at your expression. “Javier you naught menace. How in the hell do you know how to do that?” You nipples hardened at the cool air,

“I may have some experience.” You shook your head as he chuckled lowly. He continued to kiss down your neck before trying to find your sweet spot. You moaned as you rain your fingers through his hair. Hickeys and bite marks scattered all over your neck. Your body jolted as you yelped. “Mmm found it.” You cum right then and there as Javi helped you roll your hips on his hard bulge.

“Javi.”

“What’s wrong baby?”

“N-need you.” Javi chuckled

“Oh you need me?” You nodded as you watched him move down to your tits. You moaned a bit louder as he started to squeeze each tit like a stressing hall. “Words baby.” You whined

“Yes, I-I need you Javi.” He smirked as he continued to play with your boobs. He leaned down as he brought a nipple in his mouth “Oh fuck, Javi.” You moaned as he swirled his tongue over the hardening bud.

“Beautiful. The most beautiful tits ever baby. Gosh, you’re so fucking hot.” You felt yourself getting more wet at his praising.

“Oh fuck! Javi!” You yelped as Javi switched positions with you. You were now laying on the couch as Javi hovered over you. He leaned down as he smashed his lips on yours. You both moaned as you both were grinding your hips together.

“Bet that pussy of yours is all wet for me.” You furrowed your eyes-brows as you nodded at him making him smirk. “Bet you want me to fucking eat you out till your screaming my name Hm?” You quickly nodded at him

“Please Javi, I-I want you to eat my pussy. Please baby I’ll do anything.”

“Good girl begging like the good princess you are.” He leaned down to kiss you as he shoved his tongue in your mouth. You moaned as you wrapped your tongue around his. Spit coming out on the sides of your mouth as your teeth were clanking with his form how rough your make out was. Javi released the kiss as he started to kiss down your body. You shivered from his kisses as he praised you with words

“So beautiful, so sexy, you’re all mine cariño. All.Fucking.Mine.” He growled as he got lower, he kissed around your belly making you whimper as he got to your thighs. Your thugs started to shake making Javi hold them as he kissed your inner thighs so slowly making you squirm.

“Javi please, d-don’t tease me.”

“But where’s the fun in that baby?” He continued to tease you for a while before he started to go to where you needed him most. Your body started to shake from excitement. Javi licked his lips as he admired your lacy panties. He dragged a finger over your lips making you jolt, he then slowly started to rub your clot through your underwear.

“Oh! Fuck!” Javi licked his lips

“Gosh you’re so fucking sexy squirmy for me like a pathetic slut aren’t you mi amor?” You felt butterflies coming in your stomach at the nickname. He then leaned down to press the softest kiss to your clit making you cry out. He dove his nose into your slit as he inhaled your scent. He groaned. “Gosh you smell so good and sweet baby. You want me to taste you?” You nodded quickly making him chuckle. “Don’t worry baby, I will be tasting you.” In a split second he ripped off your underwear. You didn’t even care at this point. He didn’t give you a warning before he dove into your pussy. You moaned so loud it echoed around the living room. Your fingers dove into his messy locks as you grinder on his face.

“Oh shit! Oh my god. Javi you’re so good. Oh my god- baby!” Javi hummed into your pussy as he entered in two fingers into your slit. He then started to kiss your clit multiple times before he sucked on it. Hard. You felt yourself get dizzy as you felt your orgasm coming.

“Shit baby, the most wettest, most beautiful pussy. You gonna come cariño?”

“Yes! Fuck yes!” He felt You tightened around his fingers. He started to finger you more faster as he continued to suck on your clit.

“Let go for me baby. Cum all over my face.”

Your legs shook as your fingers yanked into his locks. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you saw white.The coil in your tummy snapped as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Javi helped you ride out your high as he continued to kitten lick your clit and slit. You jolted as he continued to lick your clit. You whimpered as you pulled him from the back of his neck back to your face, you smashed your lips on him making him groan. You whined as you tasted yourself on him, you plunged your tongue into his mouth making him growl as he cupped your face. You both pulled away with a string of spit connecting your lips. Your hands were reaching down to take his cock out of his boxers, he then stopped you as he grabbed your wrist gently before shaking his head as he smiled at you. “Not tonight baby, I need to be inside you.” You whined as you smirked at him before pecking his lips twice. You laid back down only making him shake his again. You gave him a frown. “I want you to ride me baby.” You felt butterflies again at his low tone making you smile before nodding at him. You quickly got on his lap as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You admired how toned and sort of buff he was. You smiled as you started to touch his shoulders and biceps making him chuckle. “You like what you see cariño?” You giggled as you kissed his neck

“Never realized how strong you were Javi.” Javi smirked at you as he aligned his cock to your entrance. His hands were on your hips as you stared into his eyes. Him staring back at you.

“You ready?” He asked quietly as you nodded, he nodded with you as he slowly started to sink into you. Your body jolted at the feeling before you let out a surprised moan. Javi groaned as his grip tightened on your hips. “Oh fuck, you’re so tight mi amor.”

“O-oh, fuck— Javi, you’re so big.” He chuckled as he helped you move your hips slowly.

“Feels good baby?” You nodded as you started to bounce on his cock, “Need words cariño.” You whined

“Y-yes Javi, feels so good. Fuck! Don’t stop.”

“I’ll never stop. Never.” He growled as he kissed and sucked on your neck. Your bouncing got faster as Javi moved your hips. Your fingers tugging onto his hair. You felt hot and sweaty. You’re moaning got louder as so did Javi’s.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna fucking cum. Can I cum inside you mi amor?” Javi groaned out. You looked down at him as you started to feel tears form in your eyes from the overstimulation. You nodded your head rapidly.

“Please!please! Please cum inside me Javi! I wanna feel your cum.” Javi smashed his lips on yours hard as he helped you grind harder and faster on his dick. Your moaning picked up as the tears fell down your red cheeks. Javi slapped your ass making you jump.

“Cum with me baby. Fucking cum.” You cried out as your body started to shake. Your mouth was open with no sound coming out. You both paused your movements before you both moaned and groaned together. Your bodies started to shake uncontrollably. Javi groaned loud and deep in your neck as you wrapped your arms around his neck to bring him closer.

“Oh shit, mmmm fuck.” You moaned out, Javi panted in your neck as his hands rubbed your back.

“Shit.” Javi muttered out. Your legs felt like jello as you stayed wrapped in his arms with his cock still in you. You kissed Javi’s temple as you ran your fingers through his hair to calm him down. You’re bodies all sticky and hot. Javi then pulled out of you making you whine at the loss of contact and making Javi whimper at the coolness hitting him. He jolted as he calmed his breathing down. He reached over to grab his pack of cigarettes before lighting one up. He laid down with you on his chest. You sighed as you stared up at him, admiring his bare chest and him smoking. You both laid there in silence. You rested your head on his chest as you relaxed at the sound of his heartbeat.

“Javi?”

“What’s wrong cariño?” His voice rumbled through his chest making it vibrate. You looked up at him to see him staring back at you. It only made you smile.

“Nothing. Just… does this mean something?” Javi exhaled a fog of smoke as he gave you a smile

“What do you think mi amor?”

“I’m assuming maybe?” You teased making him roll his eyes at you before chuckling. You chuckled back as you sat up to be closer to him. You took the cigarette from his hand as you inhaled, you stared into his eyes as you exhaled. Javi hummed as he cupped your face. You finished the cigarette before placing it on the ashtray.

“You are something, you know that?” You shrugged at him as you played with his hair,

“I’ve been told.” Javi smiled at you before pulling your face closer to his as you both shared a loving, long kiss. You sighed as you wrapped your arms around his neck, him wrapping his around your back. You both continued the kiss as you snuggled into his warm embrace. Slowly falling asleep in each other’s touch.

Tag-List: @otomefan @chunnies @slasherstories123 @avengersfan25

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-Four

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors note: I’m here:) finally. It’s been a while, idk how long, not that long but long enough i guess, sorry for the wait! This one is wordy but also has a lot going on, so hope you enjoy!

Ngl, this can probably be read as a standalone if anyone’s seeing this and not started the series, it’s just a bit angsty and mostly smut? But unsure, I said probably! X

Warnings: Arguing, usual Matty and Mouse thinking (feels like it needs its own warning at this point, they’re saddos), smut, unprotected sex, EMOTIONS (because yeah)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

There was something raw in the bitterness that was love. Like the sour skin of an apple that was first thought to be sweet. Love was deceiving in itself really, but it was never alone. It brought life and light. It wrought anger. It stirred both jealousy and pity. It gave and gave, until all you were left with was that tart tang aftertaste. 

Some people revelled in it.

Others, withered away.

Years before, perhaps maybe not even that long ago now, Matty would have belonged to the former. He had enjoyed the strings he found that could tie him to people, sex and money had given him the ability to do it, to keep them there, to pull them alongside him. And he’d indulged in it all, beyond what most would consider extortionate. 

And still, even after everything, when the fun had ended and the games had been discarded, and he’d just been tossed off somewhere to the side… Alone once more. He had continued on. On and on and on, until he ultimately had lost himself completely.

The last few months had shifted something in him though.

And now here he was, still angry and bitter and resentful. But full of actual love. The raw type. The kind that left you marvelling at the most stupid things— insipid little concepts that held no actual value or any real detail worth getting all starry-eyed over.

It had wormed its way into the hollow shell that was his heart and rebuilt some part of him that he believed he had long since destroyed.

He wanted to scoff at the very thought. The very idea that an emotion could be felt so strongly that it differed the world around you; that, singularly, it could change you. The notion was far too complex, too out there to even begin to fathom, but then again, Matty supposed that emotions were exactly that. Complex.

It sent his mind reeling. Had his entire body aching with a fever to expel the feeling completely, if only so that he could think freely again, so it wouldn’t hurt to merely breathe anymore.

You should have told me.

He knew that. He had admitted as much.

And yet, he still hadn’t told her.

He’d lied.

Why didn’t you tell me?

And that was the question, wasn’t it? Why hadn’t he just told her?

Fear, he guessed.

Yet another morbid emotion in which Matty had always been so wary of. Another lost feeling he thought he’d swallowed whole and hidden somewhere deep down. Because there was no fear in a drug induced haze. When you were off partying or chasing some other euphoric high. What the fuck was there to be fearful of? When the chilling buzz which shook you to your very core blanketed over everything else.

When there was always that silence.

That numb quiet he had chased and craved and cherished.

Though, he supposed, it was nothing compared to the fear of losing this.

Of losing her.

Still, Matty could not for the life of him find it in himself to tell her exactly that. Those words lost on him, lodged in the column of his throat and etching themselves a home there.

“Where do we go from here?”

He blinked at the sound of his own voice, looking up at her shadowed expression and at how tired she then seemed. How different she now looked compared to the moment they’d first met. 

She’d been something of a presence even then. Always effortlessly complex. With her soft smile and guarded eyes. Eyes he’d gone and fucking wondered about for hours on end.

Those eyes which were now caught on the far wall stood opposite, the one lined with coloured photo frames and that odd little doodle Teddy had gotten in trouble for only a couple of weeks prior. 

The realisation made Matty mourn the few days they’d spent apart.

After a long moment, she finally shrugged at him and he found himself swallowing tightly at the movement. Startled by her seeming lack of care. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Squeaks.” 

It was honest. As honest as he could be.

She huffed an amused breath in return though, “Not like you’re short on company, Matty.”

He felt his gaze snap up to meet hers then, head shifting with it. 

“What’s that even meant to mean?” He asked her, frowning now, at the way she had crossed her arms over her chest and how her shoulders had hunched on their own accord whilst she casually moved to glance out the window. Matty forced himself up onto his feet, hating the fact she had turned away from him.

“I saw everything, Matty.” Mouse replied tiredly, as though she was fed up, fed up with this, with them. “I saw the articles.”

Matty’s stomach bottomed out at her words, he stepped towards her. “Nothing happened.” He murmured, taking another step closer. “Nothing fucking happened, Squeaks. I swear it.”

She tensed but didn’t quite flinch at his sudden approach, so he kept a little distance between them, even as desperate as he was to hold her. To shake her enough so that she would see sense, that she’d realise how stupid he would have had to have been to have gone near anyone else. That girl was no one, she’d meant nothing. 

“You can swear that, can you?” She mocked him, one corner of her mouth toying with a merciless smile that didn’t quite suit her. “You were gone, Matty. Fucking out of it. That much was clear to see just from the photos alone.”

Matty stared at her helplessly.

She shook her head.

“I’d had a couple drinks. That isn’t a crime!” He stressed, automatically falling onto the defensive, “Didn’t mean I was stupid enough to get with the first person I fucking saw! That girl- she was off her head too. Had mates with her even! But she was just trying to help me, Mouse. That’s all it was.” 

She was shaking her head again now, tongue catching on her incisor; a dead giveaway to how stressed she was, how anxious she was getting. Matty only wished to shoulder it all, that defensiveness of his faltering slightly at the sight of her trying to hide it all. To stay strong. How fucking long had she had to do that?

“I feel like such a fool, Matty.” She finally spoke, her voice trembling with the onslaught of tears that glazed her eyes but she didn’t dare let fall. “A fucking fool. ‘Cause I’d thought that things were okay, that we were okay. That I could finally relax and let you in. But then-“ She paused, a sad huff leaving her, “Then you went and dropped this mess in my lap and somehow expected me to just deal with it. To tell you it’s all fine. That we could make it right.”

Mouse turned then, ever so slowly, looking about as defeated as Matty had ever seen her. He felt his chest burn with the last breath he hadn’t remembered taking let alone hold onto, too afraid to look away, to even move. 

“But you embarrassed me. You’ve made the whole world believe I am that fool. That I was as naive as they’d first made me out to be. As my friends thought me to be.” 

Her smile was shattered and broken, her voice wet and hoarse, but she continued on even as her hands fell limply to her sides and she took a single step closer.

“And to make things worse, you didn’t just hurt me, Matty. You hurt Teddy too.”

–

Hit them where it hurts.

That was the saying, wasn’t it?

But it only left me feeling all the more sour- gutless. As well as a little stupid, I supposed, wondering if Matty even cared for Teddy at all, or how he had felt the last couple days.

Though I shouldn’t have second guessed it, not when the way Matty’s face immediately paled and then fell proved me wrong. 

Deep down, I knew that he cared. In his own odd way he had always cared. But to know it and to see it were two entirely different things.

And although it was true, that Matty had in fact hurt Teddy. It still felt like a shitty thing to say to him then. But he’d hurt me as well, hadn’t he. And even though I’d been hurting most of my life, Matty being the reason for all that hurt pained me in a way I couldn’t even comprehend. 

“I didn’t-”

I scoffed at his attempted reply, but my heart wasn’t in it, breaking all over again. I wondered how long we could drag this out. If we even would.

“Mean to?” I finished for him, shaking my head stupidly. “I know you didn’t mean to, Matty. Doesn’t change the fact that you still did it.”

His eyes slipped closed just as his lips fell apart, and when he opened them again I was stuck staring into his devastated gaze. 

“If I could take it all back, I would.” He breathed, “I promise you I would.”

I swallowed back my own tears, even as they burned and pricked at my throat and eyes. “But you can’t.”

And it was as simple as that, wasn’t it? He couldn’t ever take it back. 

I don’t want to lose you.

He knew just how to get under my skin, past all that rusted armour of mine.

It was what made this all so much harder. 

“Tell me what to do, Squeaks.” Matty croaked pleadingly, hand reaching out towards me before he looked down at it, blinked, and then let it fall. “I’ll do it, just– tell me.”

What was left that he could do? When it felt like things had so suddenly and so horrifically fallen out from under us.

“I don't know.” I told him honestly, in a barely there whisper, “I just don't know, Matty.”

He stepped even closer then, hand moving to capture my jaw in a determined haste, not restraining himself like he had just moments before. I tried to pull away, titling my chin and looking off to the side as I clenched my teeth, but his thumb was there, luring me back in, forcing me to meet his eye.

“I’m not just gonna give up.” His other hand jumped to cradle my face, a cushion to those heated words. 

I was reluctant in my needless wanting, desperate to be held whilst simultaneously wanting to push him away. So I lifted my hands up to cover his own, unsure of the choice they’d make. To stay, or go.

“It’s not about that, Matty.” I heard myself say pathetically, voice wavering with each word, “You can’t just forget this.”

His dark eyes were trained on me, flickering over every square inch of my scarred face. I’d never felt insecure about them when I was around him, but this moment felt too heated, too high strung. And I’d been burning the candle at both ends the last few days, so with him being this close, this intense, every emotion I’d felt was brimming closer and closer to the surface. 

Instead of facing him, I turned away, hiding once more as I worked my jaw and felt my hands slip down to the backs of his forearms.

A shared breath and then,

“Don’t do that.” Matty whispered in the quiet, almost begging. “Don’t hide from me.”

His thumb smoothed over the skin of my cheek and I was all but putty in hands, looking back at him just as a tear escaped me and slid to meet the pad of it. 

Matty brushed the tear away without thought, before he leant in to rest his forehead against my own. The action forced me to cling tighter to his arms, eyes closing to keep from embarrassing myself any further. I wouldn’t cry. 

I wouldn’t cry.

“Look at me.” He demanded, nose so close that I could practically sense its phantom touch. And foolishly, I did as he asked. “You-” His breath stuttered as his eyes pleaded with me, sounding forced as it broke free from him, his fingers making a home for themselves in my hair. 

“You don’t know what you do to me. How much of a mess I’ve made of myself. How much I have missed you.” Matty confessed, his voice quiet in the small space shared between us, in a place where we were both sheltered and unseen. “And I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry. Enough that I’ll keep on repeating it until you fucking believe me. Enough that I’d do just about anything for you to see how much I want this.”

He sucked in a breath, and I blinked back at him, lips tingling with the sensation of his proximity. 

“I know I messed up. I know.” He repeated, eyes flickering back and forth between my own whilst his thumbs trailed the line of my hair. “But all I’m asking for is a chance to make it right. To be better. Squeaks, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if I could.”

His breath was tickling the skin of my cheek as well as the corner of my mouth, it almost made it difficult to think let alone remember how to breathe. I wanted–

Suddenly my eyes were looking down, focused on his parted mouth, on the stubble he’d let grow across the cut of his chin as well as his upper lip. His nose finally brushed past my own, touching ever so carefully as one or both of us pressed nearer, almost there, inching closer but not close enough.

“Tell me no.” 

Instantly, I was thrown back to that first night he kissed me. I hadn’t told him no then, and for some reason I couldn’t find it in me to decline him now. 

So instead I took, all but biting as my hand cradled the back of his neck and closed that short amount of distance between us. My nails dug into the exposed skin of his nape, where the collar of his shirt jumped with each move he made. My teeth nipped at his lower lip, angry in my attempt to swallow him whole, teeth clashing as we both stumbled, moving and moving until Matty’s back hit the nearest wall.

How the roles had reversed, I thought to myself as Matty’s shoulders flexed beneath his shirt and jumped under my ever roaming hands. I hated the desire that it stirred through me, knowing how easily he could take back control with his carefully contained strength. But he didn’t, instead he gave my fury something to latch onto.

My hand lifted to pin one of his wrists somewhere to the left of his head, glare not wavering even as his stubborn gaze met my own. He was as riled up as me.

“You have some nerve.” I all but spat, watching on as his chest rose and fell, questioning how quickly everything had switched.

“Yeah?” Matty bit back, those familiar brown eyes- a colour that had always brought me comfort- were blazing now as they trailed over the flush that I was sure lined my face. “Why’s that? You’re the one with me pinned, darlin’.” 

His heavy gaze traced the bow of my lip, slumping ever slightly in his stance so that his head could fall closer forward. My breath hitched.

That was all he needed apparently, to earn the upper hand here. Because in a moment, the room was spinning and then I was the one being crowded against the wall, fury be damned.

Contrary to my previous endeavour, Matty’s touch was still as careful as ever, making it that much more obvious that I could slip away if I so wanted. But the question was whether or not I did.

“Matty–”

But he just carried on, as though he hadn’t even heard me speak, voice a low breathy murmur. 

“I’ve been stuck in this endless loop. Driving myself mad.” He told me, his knee angled enough so that he could let his head dip towards the juncture of my neck, his mouth pausing by the shell of my ear whilst a finger gently trailed its way up over my hip. “Wonderin’ if I’d lost this for good.”

My heart pounded in my chest as the ghost of his words tickled my skin, tensing when his nose ever so slightly grazed my jaw. 

That finger of his continued to move, working its way up my torso, jumping across my ribs and up to the bone of my collar. My gaze was fixed on the opposing wall, on the mirror that framed my dazed face and the back of his head. My hand worked its way into his unruly curls.

“But you’re as stubborn as me, see.” Matty added, luring me in, “And I’m not the type to give up on a sure thing.” His words held enough bite that I snapped back to meet his stare, he tilted his head at me whilst I scowled.

“Excuse me?”

Matty smiled, lids heavy as his careful hand danced its way back down my front. 

“And this,” He said, almost in a whisper, ignoring my retort as he hooked my leg around his waist, “This is a sure thing.”

A soft breath escaped me even as I batted his hand away, but he simply reached up to grip at my chin, touch tender even with the way his calloused thumb dragged down my lower lip.

I was slowly beginning to imagine that this was all a dream, something my sick mind had gone and conjured up in hopes to ignore all of the hurt he had put me through. Because this couldn’t be right, things couldn’t have fallen back into place this easily. 

“Matty.” I tried again, firmer this time, but was captured by the look his eyes held, probably having understood the expression that must have just crossed my face.

“What did you do, Squeaks?” He asked me almost hurriedly, shaking my chin between his forefinger and thumb, my previous anger and doubt melting slightly as I leaned further into his touch. “Did you want me to hurt, too?”

I blinked, caught off guard by the sudden question, his swift change in topic. Baffled by the fact that he was now trying to pin this back on me. 

Was that really what this was? I wanted to ask.

Matty didn’t give me the opportunity to say a thing though. My surprise had stalled me briefly, but it had evidently been long enough to allow him to simply carry on.

“What did you do, eh? Tell me.” He breathed before he pressed his mouth to my jaw, once and then twice, pulling away just as I tilted my head to accommodate him, “Did you go out, baby? Find somebody else? Or did you just stay here, waiting for me?”

I reeled back, anger spiking again. “Fuck you.”

Matty’s eyes flickered back and forth between mine. 

“I’m trying to get you to.” He said, always so brazen and snarky, even in the moments where I hated him most. The hand I had previously slapped away went back to the leg he still had draped over his hip, snaking up over my knee and to my thigh. 

My glare didn’t waiver, even as my breathing picked up at the pressure his fingertips wrought on my skin. 

“Tell me no.” He finally repeated, eyes failing to meet mine. And how was I supposed to? When having him this close brought back that fire he’d put out in me, when he was kissing my neck so sweetly?

“We’ll regret it.” It was as close to a no as I could get, enough to have him pause. Matty looked to me then, his hold loosening on my body but still holding. Hoping.

“Do you care?”

I marvelled at the question, did I care?

I cared so much it pained me.

But he hadn’t meant it like that. That much I knew.

Do you care if you regret it? Because, what if you don’t? 

With Matty there was always chance– he was the type to play the odds, to push his luck.

What if.

What if, what if, what if?

Shaking my head, I was forced to question if he understood me as much as I did him. If he could see each of my thoughts just as they dawned on me, flashing across my face like a story being told. 

Then I wondered whether or not I even wanted him to understand. This, this thing we were doing would only further complicate things between us, but perhaps this could be a goodbye.

But, if this was a goodbye, why was he looking at me like that? Watching and waiting for me to truly answer.

Tell me no, he’d said.

Matty’s gaze swept over my face, as though trying to read me, maybe in hopes to find what it was he was really searching for. 

Tell me no.

“Please.”

And my resolve broke at the word.

“Okay.” I heard myself say in reply, nodding quickly, and that was seemingly all the permission he needed before Matty was wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me towards him fully.

My hands floundered momentarily before they were back on his shoulders, his teeth nipping at my neck. 

I moaned, eyes falling shut as he pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses down my skin, teeth scraping before his tongue swirled to soothe their angry ambush. I could smell him everywhere now, the shampoo I was so used to stealing, as well as the only aftershave he’d ever claimed to like.

His hips rolled into mine, pressing himself right against the fabric of my trousers and the underwear which had grown damp during our heated argument. 

I didn’t want to linger too long on the thought of my body’s obvious betrayal, too caught up in him to think about how wrong this should all feel.

“Shit.” Matty groaned, breath catching with it as he continued to grind against me.

I gasped back, grabbing at him harder as he bit down on the curve of my neck. I nipped at his jaw in retaliation, nails digging into the skin of his back, hoping to leave a mark.

“I knew you’d miss me.” He grunted into the base of my throat, the hands which held my waist dipping beneath the hem of my shirt to explore further. “Even when you’re angry you’ll wait. ‘Cause no one else can touch like me.”

A whine bypassed my lips almost involuntarily as he continued to rut against me, I wanted to be angry- no, in fact, I was angry. But all emotion other than want was blurring at the edges of my mind now, being pushed further and further back by each eager kiss he peppered along my jaw.

“You really–” I jerked in surprise, cutting myself off with a short gasp when his hand slipped past the hem of my trousers, fingers pressing against the damp fabric he found there. 

“What was that?” He provoked, and I could hear the smirk in his voice as he trailed over my covered clit, causing me to whimper before I was biting down on my lower lip. Matty didn’t like that much. “Come on, I wanna hear you.” He muttered, pressing a little harder, wanting a reaction. “Tell me.”

“You’re such a bastard.” I panted, head falling against his shoulder as my hips pushed further into his touch, seeking more.

Matty laughed, all breathy and lovely, mouth catching on the lobe of my ear before he hissed, “Yeah, but you like that about me.”

His hand was gone with that and I was almost tempted to ask, to even plead with him for its return, aching all the more now, enough that all I could think about was riding his fingers until I couldn’t think at all. 

But then Matty was grabbing my waist again, his grip hard, firm, and I swallowed when he whispered into my ear once more.

“Jump.”

Without thinking, I jumped. 

We collided, his mouth on mine and the two of us moving as though it was second nature. And in a way, it was. But it shouldn’t have been. I knew that. I tried to remind myself of it. 

He shouldn’t be here.

But he was. Walking his way through my flat with ease, effortlessly missing each sharp corner and the miniscule step which led back into the hallway. He was blind, my hands in his hair as he manoeuvred us into my bedroom, throwing me down onto sheets that he’d never seen, let alone slept in. 

I tugged him down with me, his hands moving to unbutton those fucking jeans he always wore as he worked his way back into my mouth. 

He hovered over me after kicking them off, my head pressed to the pillows as his eyes roamed every inch of my face. “Beautiful.” He whispered, as though he hadn’t really meant to say the word aloud.

My breath hitched anyway but Matty paid it no mind, leaning in closer to kiss me again, slower this time around, though his hands were still quick, tugging at the hem of my top enough so that I got the hint. I lifted myself up, breaking away to take it off and toss it to the side. 

Matty kissed his way down my neck again, following the trail of scars down my torso until his fingers paused to hook around the top of my trousers. I nodded at his silent ask, planting my feet a little firmer on the mattress so that they could follow my tee.

Matty stopped then, kneeling between my parted thighs, eyes caught on the panties I was wearing, and I could swear something in his gaze shifted as he stared down at me. 

“Lace?” He murmured, fingers curling around my thighs tight enough to bruise as he pushed forward, closer to my face. “Really?”

It was a loaded question. Almost felt like an accusation.

I shrugged– I hadn’t meant to end up here, but it hadn’t been subconscious when I’d picked them out of the pile this morning. He liked the way they looked, had told me so one night spent at his when he’d talked me into smoking a couple joints with him sprawled out on his living room floor. 

I opened my mouth to reply but Matty didn’t quite catch the motion, already busying himself with the task of pulling the lace down my thighs. His fingers, calloused from years of playing guitar, dragged alongside the black material rolling down my legs. I tensed at the feeling, zeroing in on the slow motion, then listened to him groan at the sight before they were gone completely.

I watched him pull away, balling the damp fabric up in a fist before leaning over the side of the bed to drop them on top of his jeans. 

“A souvenir?” I couldn’t help but question, mostly out of mirth, but humour helped deflect from the weight I felt at having him here.

Matty hummed, fingers already back on me, trailing the length of my right leg before he was stretching his way back up again, head stopping between my parted thighs and nosing at a crease sat at the very top. He didn’t answer me though, instead choosing to shut me up with another gasp by dragging his thumb across my folds.

“Matty.”

“Hm?” He hummed again, having sat back on his heels to watch me squirm as he continued on. I shot him a rather annoyed glare.

“Take off your shirt and fuck me.” 

His brows rose languidly when he flicked his eyes back up to meet mine, then tilted his head. “But I’m having so much fun.”

With a swift kick to his side, Matty’s hand fell away and he shook his head around the beginnings of a smile. “Always so demanding.” He tutted and before I could spit something back– probably about him being the biggest hypocrite I knew– he was placing his hands either side of my head and leaning forward so that his lips were right beside my ear, his breath fanning the shell of it. “You gonna beg for it?”

My breathing grew heavy as I watched him pull away, dragging a finger up the inside of my thigh before stilling ever so briefly and venturing on, up over my hip and then my ribs. He pressed a slow kiss to my chest, eyes flicking up to find mine as his tongue swirled over the skin, there and then gone.

“Come on–”

He huffed a quiet laugh, the force of it lighting goosebumps over my exposed flesh. “Come on, baby. Beg.”

I rolled my eyes, reaching up to grab at his neck but he was already dancing out of my reach. He jutted his chin. 

“Matty.” I huffed.

“Yeah?”

I really wanted to throttle him, “Fuck me. I’m not asking.”

The corner of his mouth tugged itself up into a small smirk, “Good enough.”

A disbelieving chuckle escaped me, one which was quickly cut short by his wandering hands finding purchase on my hips once more, before he dragged me down the length of the bed, his mouth finding purchase on the swell of my breast.

He pressed fast kisses along the curve of it until his tongue flicked out over the nipple, causing me to gasp. My hands flew out to tangle themselves in his hair when he lapped it into his mouth to suck and I groaned at the weight of his hands cradling the curve of my back. 

“Matty.”

He hummed and the sound sent vibrations rippling out across my skin, I fisted my hands into his curls harder.

Shifting until my hips found his whilst he lavished at my chest, I pressed up into him, both annoyed by the fact he was still clad in his boxers and pleased by the very visible wet patch I could see. I ground against him and the sensation elicited moans from the pair of us, his hands flying down to hold my hips steady.

“Patience.” He murmured, but I was having none of it, lifting a leg against his arse to spur him closer. Matty’s head jerked up at the surprise before he looked down at me and stared. “You’ll be the death of me.”

“You better hope not.” I replied, hands finding the hem of his shirt and dragging it off before he could fight me on it. “I’ll make it painful.”

“Counting on it.” Matty murmured back, hair now a mess, either from the clutch I’d had on it moments before or from the way I’d all but yanked his top over his head. “On all fours,” He said roughly, tapping my outer thigh twice. My already flushed skin heated further at the understanding of how he wanted to take me but– contrary to popular belief– I didn’t argue and rolled onto my stomach.

Palms to the sheets, I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, eyes trained on the headboard. I grinned to myself when I heard Matty groan at the sight, looking back over my shoulder only briefly to see him palming himself through his boxers.

“Don’t have all day, Healy.” I prompted after a moment passed, just before the mattress shifted beneath his weight. I heard something drop to the floor a second later before he was right up behind me.

I jolted a tad at his sudden touch, then was forced to focus on the way his hands slid over my hips with that same familiarity they’d always done, moving up to the swell of my arse to squeeze it before dropping back down to spread my legs further apart.

A moment passed and I was forced to wait in the silence he then gifted me, waiting and waiting until I finally went to say something. It was then that I felt a finger glide down my spine, dragging ever so slowly over my jumping muscles. 

“Hands,” Matty then reminded and I was forced to blink away the haze I had drifted into, reaching up to grab onto the headboard just as I felt him swipe his dick between my thighs, guiding himself up over my folds, pushing past them so he rested at my entrance. 

I let go of a rush of air, splaying my hands further against the headboard before he slammed into me without any warning at all, all the way up to the hilt whilst I cried out at the sudden fullness. “Fuck.” I hissed, head falling between my shoulders as I winced. 

I breathed through the bit of pain that came with the thrust, acknowledging that Matty didn’t move an inch and instead keeping still, hands holding my hips even as he leaned over to whisper, “You good?”

His voice was surprisingly soft in the quietness that encased the flat, reminding me of other times we’d spent here, both like this and in other odd moments. It made my chest ache.

I took another moment to adjust to him before I nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

He hummed in turn but didn’t question it, just waited, thumbs circling the skin on my hips for a moment in a manner so gentle and yet so very Matty, before finally, he moved. 

His thrusts were shallow and slow at first, his thumbs keeping the same steady tempo as they continued to soothe the tops of my hips. I moaned at the feel of him, before I managed to roll my hips back to meet his own, enjoying the sound that escaped him.

“So good.” He said, hand sliding further up my side and towards my ribs before I was titling my head back and Matty was holding a fistful of my hair. He just held it for a bit, forearm pressed against the skin of my back before his thrusts began to grow harder, tugging more and more.

The room was quickly filled with the sounds of our groans along with the bedframe rocking against the wall and I praised all the Gods above for the fact that there were currently no neighbours residing in the flat beyond it, before I was quickly swept up once more in the thick scent of sweat and sex. Matty fucking into me with a desperation I’d never quite experienced from him before.

I panted beneath him, nails digging into the wood of my headboard whilst he picked up the pace.

I couldn’t quite focus on anything but him. His breathy whispers, his fingertips which dotted my skin, the feel of him rocking in and out of me. It was almost as though nothing else existed but this moment, even if I knew it would soon end. His thrusts getting sloppier, his grip tightening, his murmured praises increasing by a tenfold. 

“Come on, baby.”

I liked when he called me that.

Made me feel special. 

But that thought soon soured. Because, was I really? 

How could I be anything special when my whole life I’d been nothing but a doormat for people to walk all over? I couldn’t help but think that Matty would be the same, like he’d gotten too close and finally seen what everybody else already had.

“Squeaks, baby. What do you need?”

I whimpered at his ask, tears collecting in the corners of my eyes. “I–”

What the fuck did I need? It wasn’t meant to feel so loaded, that question. But it felt as though the walls were now closing in. Because was this it? Was this the end?

“I–” I tried, feeling Matty’s fingers slip from the ends of my hair before a gentle palm laid itself flat on the small of my back.

“So good for me.” I heard him say and I moaned at the slight praise, breathing harder as he continued to mumble mostly to himself, “So pretty. So good.”

I was almost there, back arching under his palm as the other moved away from the right grasp it held on my hip, fingers finally finding my clit, knowing exactly what I needed.

“Yes.” I panted as the combination of his hard thrusts and steady hand sent my head into a dizzying pool of water, “God, yes. I–”

I think I screamed as I came, his fingers working deftly whilst mine clung to the headboard, body trembling as I fought to keep myself up. But Matty was there, holding me long enough so that he could reach his high and pull out with a loud grunt, coating my inner thighs. 

We stayed there for, I don’t know how long, until he finally released me, falling away whilst I slumped forward onto the pillows before us. He followed a second later, still catching his breath as he stared up at the ceiling. I watched him, eyes hidden behind my forearm and a sprawl of hair that had fallen over my face, content to soak in what I could of him. What I had left.

Then Matty shifted beside me, I half expected him to get up and leave with some half-arsed excuse on the tip of his tongue, but he paused when he caught my heavy gaze. I let my eyes trail over the side of face, on the tired circles settled beneath his lash line and the slope of his nose.

He looked back towards the ceiling.

“You got your souvenir, remember?” I found myself saying, stupidly, voice just above a croaked murmur, “Don’t let me keep you.”

Quiet. And then, “Do you want me to?”

I knew what he meant, but still I asked, “Want what?”

Matty’s head slowly turned towards me, eyes guarded and peering over at my devastated form. I wondered what he made of me right then, if he thought anything at all. 

When he offered me no words, I refused to add anything either and felt what was left of my heart crumple up into a pitiful bundle when he pushed himself to the edge of a bed with a barely there sigh.

The air in my lungs caught as I watched and waited, eyes trailing after him as he rounded the bed frame to pick up his discarded boxers. I let them slip closed again, not wanting to watch him leave. 

I listened to his feet pad across the hardwood floors and out of the room. My chest ached with every step but I didn’t dare stop him, burying my face further into my pillow. 

I laid in wait for the front door to open, for there to be a clue to his evident departure, but then the footsteps returned. I didn’t dare give myself false hope, knowing he must have forgotten something to have come back. But the padding continued, closer and closer until they were back by the bed and I held my breath as it creaked, my eyes stinging just as I felt a warm damp cloth press against my inner thighs, wiping me clean.

I choked on the sob that wanted to escape me and the cloth paused for a split second before venturing on. I waited, wondering why he was doing this, why he was dragging it out.

Just leave already.

But then the cloth was pulling away again, and the bed was creaking again, and the tears, they wouldn’t stop. 

Stay. 

Please just stay.

I gasped into the pillowcase, stomach tensing with the strength to keep quiet. To let him leave quietly. 

I wouldn’t cry.

And then there was quiet, at least for a moment or two, before the bed dipped once more and there was a hand in my hair, combing the strands from out of my face and tucking them behind my ear.

When I opened my eyes, he was still there. Dressed and ready to go, but still sitting there beside me. Whilst I laid bare, curled up into a ball to better protect myself from his knowing gaze.

Suddenly everything hurt. Suddenly I felt exhausted and was falling apart at the seams.

Matty moved carefully, stretching toward the foot of the bed before returning with the sheet to cover me up, laying it gently over my trembling shoulders. He leaned in to press a slow kiss to my forehead and then went to move away again.

My hand caught his wrist.

And then I was flat out sobbing. Hysterical even. Crying into the pillow almost soundlessly as I gasped to try and catch my breath. Because I wanted him to stay. I needed him to stay.

Not just for me. But for Teddy. And for the life he brought into my dreary flat. To the kindness he never failed to gift me.

I needed him to stay.

I needed him.

I opened my mouth to ask, to let him know. But I could hardly even bear to look at him, blurred as he was through my onslaught of tears, Matty still held the key to all but destroying what little I had left.

His hand returned to my hair, fingers tangling themselves in it, a sudden contrast to the rough grip they’d held there earlier. And then he settled further onto the bed, back pressed against the headboard whilst he continued to run his fingers through my hair.

The tears still flowed but the sobs came less and less, until I was blinking at his shadowed figure in the dark, holding out hope that somehow he’d just know and he’d stay. 

[feraliminal]

We know the Alliance definitely are communicating with each other, and communicating across factions, without audible speech. TVmen are the only ones that regularly use spoken words, and even they’ve seemed to communicate silently. Titan Cameraman can speak, but almost never does. So it seems likely that the primary forms of Alliance communication would be through inaudible transmission of information. And this means opportunities for headcanons!

The Skibidi Toilet fandom tends to headcanon that there’s a sign language as well, and I think that makes a lot of sense. First, we know that cameramen interacted with humans at some point. This must have involved communication, but if they don’t regularly use spoken communication, a simple sign language would make sense because it would be a pain in the arse to have to get a chat app out because your robot wants to bluetooth you a few words like “do you need anything?”. Second, a thought transmission system is likely to feel quite intimate. Humans don’t even feel like using the phone sometimes, so to be literally speaking directly into people’s brains would be a whole other thing. Even if it’s socially normal, like phone calls and small talk (apparently), there’s going to be times when people don’t want to or can’t do that. And third, loads of human cultures have sign languages, so why wouldn’t a robot culture? Sign and transmission languages might be used simultaneously in many circumstances, so there might not need to be signs for everything.

What this means is that the primary Alliance languages are likely to be quite minimal - this is a real thing in many human languages. Names and personal pronouns could be situational or optional. For example, names that aren’t just a descriptor or unit number could be used as status signifiers, indicating that the name bearer is so important that there needs to be a shorthand way of referring to them in conversation. Or maybe the opposite, because there’s only one Titan Cameraman, but there’s loads of soldier cameramen and “that guy with chipped paint that kind of looks like a hamster on his head” is a bit long. Humans love to name stuff, so naming could also be a silly human trick and a way to connect to a special human friend. In the fandom, people often refer to characters’ first and upgraded incarnations differently. Something like this in headcanon could look like their names/signifiers/shorthand signs changing. And a step further, previous names might be considered bad manners or even similar to deadnames if someone’s attached a lot of emotional weight to an upgrade.

Something else interesting that human languages do is avoidance registers when, in certain social situations, people change their language to avoid taboo words. The really interesting ones to me are when people avoid words or word categories for good luck - some cultures have languages used when harvesting so the produce doesn’t go bad, and people in high-pressure jobs sometimes have a taboo on saying things like “it’s a quiet night”. In an Alliance context, this could translate into something like scientists/engineers/etc. not using certain words while working, or even a whole engineering register.

Personal pronouns might not be a big thing, if there’s a way to communicate “the sense of a person” or names are quick enough to sign, a third-person and even first-person pronoun might not be needed unless someone’s emphasising pronoun-ness. The default might be a neutral pronoun-less-ness, which might translate into “they” and “it” in English - or into the common human habit of using “he” for anyone that’s not visibly femme-presenting and not a boat. Some human languages also do fun stuff with pronouns depending on gender and status, so Alliance personal pronouns might be based on something like unit type or status rather than or as well as gender. As the femme-presenting Alliance members seem to have high-status roles, she/her pronouns might have a status association - maybe leading to things like people switching to she/her pronouns to make a point of something being extra official serious business.

[tinkerbelle05]

Okay but imagine Battinson driving to Kansa for a Batman case and then he just gets lost. Like yea, he traveled for years for training and all but he was mainly focused on the training aspect, not sightseeing. And to make matters worst (because if something can go wrong, with Bruce it most certainly will) he has a busted tire with no tools in sight to fix it.

“Um, excuse me, sir?” Bruce heard a young boy’s voice call out to him. It was two of them, they looked like carbon copies of each other so they must be siblings. Though to Bruce, they looked more like the time laps of a boy who hit a punk phase in his teen years.

This wasn’t exactly a busy street and in his 2 hours of being stuck here, Bruce had only seen 2 cars pass by. He wondered where these kids came from.

He puts on the “Brucie” mask and grinned, “Hello, is there anything you need fellas?”

He knew that Brucie Wayne was widely known throughout the US. He cannot let down his guard and let his cover blow, even if it’s just children who realistically probably had no interest in socialites from a different state.

The light of recognition and surprised hits the older boy's face and he exclaimed, “Your Bruce Wayne?!”

Knew it.

“Yes, I am. And what are y’all’s names?” He made sure to keep his voice light and his smile friendly and open.

“Um..that’s my brother, Jon, and my name’s Conner.” He stammered out. “We noticed that you weren’t moving and wanted to help.”

That was rather nice of the two boys but incredibly naive and unsafe. This could’ve easily been a ruse to lure in unsuspecting people who are too kind. But maybe that’s just the Gothamite in him speaking, you learn early on not to trust strangers, especially those who are being nice to you.

“Yea!” Jon excitedly confirmed and he looked over at Bruce’s car. “It seems like the front tire is busted. Conner can patch it up, he’s pretty good at this kinda stuff.”

It was Bruce’s turn to be surprised now. The boys were both now beaming at him, eager, and the desire to help written clearly on both of their faces. Even though Conner, did not look at all confident in his skills. But Bruce did need the help so he nodded.

While Conner was busy looking over the tire, Jon stayed behind to ask Bruce some questions. Some were getting pretty weird and into the dating part of his life. The boy would ask, “Are you single, sir?”

And before Bruce had the chance to answer, he’d give him another one and another one. He caught all of them of course and was getting ready to deflect. But then he saw the puppy smile and the little dimples. He wondered if the boy’s parents had this much trouble saying no to him.

He caved and answered yes to all of the questions but honestly, he never considered dating an option. He had many roles to fill and even more, secrets to keep that having a romantic partner seemed too out of reach for him to even entertain things like types or preferences.

“Would you date a divorced person with kids?” Jon asked with slight hope in his blue eyes. That was a rather odd and specific question.

What would Brucie say in this situation? What would Bruce say? Well, he had multiple kids at home so refusing someone else for having their own would be strange of him. “No, I would not mind.”

“That’s great,” came his reply.

“Um, Mr. Wayne, you wouldn’t mind if I called my Pa then? The tire needs to be replaced and he’s better than me when it comes to that part. I would also hate to accidentally mess up your car.” Conner told him and Bruce nodded once again.

A few moments later as Bruce and the boys converse in small talk, he saw a vibrant red pickup pulled up beside them and saw a god walk out. Tall and sun-kissed skin with waves of black hair and cornflower blue eyes. He was beautiful, there was nothing much to it.

“Hello there! My son called, said you needed some help with your car?”

All Bruce could do was nod and move out of the way so the man could work. He was used to feeling tongue-tied, gals he didn’t want to attend, and board meetings that could have easily been an email. But those were situations, not a singular person.

He looked up from his kneeling position-why the sun shine on him like that?- and introduced himself, “By the way, name’s Clark Kent. Let's see what we're working with here.” And then returned to his work.

Bruce nodded once again and the sounds of giggling children could be heard. They were giving their Dad encouragement.

It was much needed too, Clark looked like a fish out of water. Bruce knew how to replace the tire, he just didn't have any tools or a spare tire with him. Which was foolish of him, he knows. But he couldn't really think right now, with Clark in front of him. Plus, he didn't want to overstep Clark, maybe he had a process.

(Yes, a process that included staring at the tire and the spare he brought in his truck.)

After a very long 3 hours, Clark got the tire securely on and with no chance of falling off, as it did the last 3 times before.

Bruce cleared his throat, “Thank you, Mr. Kent.”

He flounders for a “your welcome” and then silence as they both stare at each other. “Would you like to go eat at a diner? It's rather hot so an ac and a cool drink might stop you from catching a heat stroke.”

Bruce thinks this over and nods, “Yes, that would be nice. What about your kids?”

Clark’s eyes made their way to them and before he gave an answer, Conner beat him to it.

“Oh, don't worry about us, Mr. Wayne. I got my driver’s license so I’ll drive us back home in Dad’s pickup. Let’s go, Jon.” The boy flashes his driver’s license for both men to see.

“Okay, get home safe, and re-“

“Yes, yes, we will remember to call you,” Jon says dismissively. He comes closer to give his father a hug (how cute, Bruce thinks) and whispers something.

Bruce couldn't catch what was said with Jon’s quiet voice and his head facing away. But whatever it was turned Clark into a blushing mess.

“Yes, I will. Off you go now.” Clark pushes his son into the direction of the pickup and turns to Bruce. “Shall we?”

“Yes, we shall.” Bruce says getting to the car. “I’ll pay for dinner, as a thank you. This is non-negotiable, Clark.”

He chuckles, “Okay, fine. But I get to drive then. Deal?”

“Deal.”

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