#if it was framed to be unhealthy — at the very minimum

[sillysalmonn101]

I would have liked season two caitvi if it was more toxic.

I would have been more likely to not hate it had it been framed in a way that makes it clear it was not a healthy dynamic. Had season two caitvi been shown in an honest way — one in which the gross power imbalance between Caitlyn and Vi was clear, one which acknowledged Caitlyn’s lack of accountability towards literally anything she did wrong (there was a lot), one which would have realized how miserable of an ending that actually is for Vi — I think I might have even actually LIKED it.

I think that if it wasn’t sanitized into being portrayed as the dream — something that every lesbian should aspire to be in one day — I would have been much easier to convince about the Caitvi gospel.

[sleepy-grav3]

Glitching issue

So I was getting distracted again. I heard Masochism Tango and Stalker's Tango, wanted a yandere playlist with intense ballroom songs, that types of thing.

And then I thought of another story idea for my current hyperfixation: DCxDP

One of my favorite ships in that fandom is Dead Tired/Brain Dead, cause I love them... so much...

Anyway-

With the context of the yandere ballroom playlist, you should know where I'm going. And I read a few fics/prompts/whatever else you'd call them where it portrays a normally pretty toxic relationship but they're actually in a really healthy relationship.

There was one about mutual stalking, another with kidnapping shenanigans, one that mentioned attempted deprogramming- you get it. (don't ask me for them, I don't know what they're called and there's too much to sift through to find them, very sorry, do feel free to reblog/comment the authors of them or ones that hold some relevance)

But yeah, now I'm making a fic with a playlist as storyline inspiration. Idk the layout yet.

1 Long Chapter : 1 Song

or

Story Arc (probably short) : 1 Song

Always a 1:1 ratio, maybe a special 2 songs here and there? Not sure.

But so far!!! I have the usual: Masochism Tango and Stalker's Tango.

Got the Cell Block Tango ready. El Tango de Roxanne will be there too. I got some waltzes and looking into other types of rhythms like them. Tango, Waltz, thinking about Salsa and Swing, got a few others too

Looking into some less yandere themed songs since I can't solely do it on yandere themes. I want it to be drama filled but with some healthy doses of attraction, y'know?

Yeah, that whole thing is going on a headcannon and an idea.

Ghosts feel things more strongly, so some unhealthy things to humans are meh or minimum level things to ghosts. Because of this, Danny's a bit unhealthy in what he considers love (his vigilante life didn't help with that, especially with Vlad), but his human side keeps it more on the downlow

There's a different species of beings that are immortal in a way: The Undying. Life loves them or they're obsessed with Life. Tim is one of the only true Undying. They're as rare as true Halfas.

So... yeah. Love this little idea. Been working on it for a few hours now. And I need help. Song recommendations mostly, storyline ideas are welcome.

I'll be posting a playlist once I get it all sorted out, chronologically, and the outline of the story put up. The summary will be a genuine summary and not just some background info or a quick sentence like I usually do.

But I want a happy ending. No bittersweet, no hurt/barely any or no comfort, no fully angst-

I need some kind of betrayal for someone to go to jail TvT

Will it be Tim or Danny? Who fits best as a viewer for Cell Block Tango, just casually listening to people talk about killing (and that one framed murder).

Who's the one that lives off the thrill of getting hurt (I'm thinking more of the bdsm way, but also the "I'll only let you hurt me" type of way too? Doesn't have to be physical or verbal or even intentional... I'm making this sound worse-)

I got this one part for the Roxanne one

The yandere is "cheating", no idea if it's fake or a previous relationship, or whatever. still under planning for that.

And the "victim" is the one who's begging the yandere to not deceive them. Maybe they've been lied to a bunch of times, maybe they really don't want false hope, maybe they're fine with an open relationship as long as the yandere doesn't leave- idk, but the "victim" is the one who's pulling the strings during then.

I'm trying to think of who's the other person, the yandere, and the "victim". Who's who? Not sure. And how does it fit with the rest of the songs too... Ugh, I really should just do oneshots T^T But I can't at the moment, not with the ideas-

So yeah

Ideas? Song recommendations? Character ideas? Scene prompts????

Please?

Oh, and this post is named glitching because it broke my fucking computer. I don't have a mouse anymore. Luckily, it's touchscreen and the keyboard still works. Still annoying though

[aristaspark]

Kenji and Brooklynn seem to be very incompatible right now. So why and how will their relationship work if they're so different? In jwcc those two were similar, but now, not even their hobbies aren the same.

Can u tell us what in common they have in CT?

I think this argument is flawed and might be influenced by your dislike of the ship (i assume you don't ship them).

Because we literally don't know ANY of the Nublar 6 hobbies, only their jobs. We never got to see them in their everyday lives before everything went down. Like, would you be able to tell me what Ben's hobbies were before he started invastigating Brooklynn's death? Or Darius before he started hunting down the allosaurus?

The same could be said about Yaz and Sammy. Like, from what's in the show, would you be able to tell what they have in common, their shared hobbies? No, because it's not integral to the plot, the only thing we know is that they love each other and that's all we need to know.

Because the show isn't a romcom about the romantic/everyday lives of six friends, it's a show about the lives of six friends who have to deal with deadly dinosaurs and corrupted human beings ruining their lives. So that's normal that we don't really know what their lives look like when everything is "normal", because it's not what the show's about.

And I actually think that the show is telling us that what broke up Brooklynn and Kenji was anything but a compatibility problem.

They were together for 6 years, and in the few flashbacks we have, we're shown that they were nothing but happy together during these six years. They went on picnics, on hikes, lived together, the only picture Brooklynn had at her secret appartment was of them (printed and framed, on her desk, where she spent most of her time), she had cute cringy videos of them on her phone, they still looked smitten with each other in the few scenes we got...

Neither of them actually wanted to break up.

But I can see the point you're trying to make, in that Brooklynn's investigation could be considered a "hobby" like any other that'd make her incompatible with Kenji.

But it's clearly not. It's not explicitly said, but it's in the subtext that things only started going awry when she started working on the Broker case after Ben introduced Dark Jurassic to her (she said it to Kenji, "I've been all over the place lately, I'm just working on something super important").

Before that, it seemed she had a healthy balance between her personal life and her work.

This shows that this is not a "Kenji and Brooklynn are not compatible" problem, but rather a "Brooklynn developed an unhealthy obsession with catching the broker" problem. The proof of that is that she didn't neglect only Kenji, but all her friends (as shown in the facetime), not even doing the bare minimum anymore to maintain her relationships (weekly facetimes).

At that point Brooklynn wasn't compatible with ANYONE, but that was because she lost herself and started neglecting herself by neglecting her personal life. We're shown times and times again. She's devastated when Kenji breaks up with her but the bag of money from Daniel is enough to make it instantly disappear from her mind, same with Darius' confession, she hears that her best friend is in love with her, that should be a life-shattering news, and yet immediately after she goes back to her investigation as if nothing even happened and expects Darius to do the same and still help her with her investigation. This is not normal, this is not healthy, and this is not who we are told Brooklynn was during these six years.

Her obsession is not shown as a "natural" evolution of her character, as part of her normal behavior, it's something that happened to her and that basically ruined every aspect of her life. There's a lesson she needs to learn. She's not supposed to still be this Brooklynn at the end of the show, because it's not the real Brooklynn.

So I think that when she manages to get out of that self-destructing obsession, she'll be able to repair her relationships, she will want to. And, as I said, a lack of compatibility was never a thing for her and Kenji. They were compatible before she "lost herself", and they loved each other.

I think she already got rid of her unhealthy obsession, but is now continuing solely because she thinks she doesn't have a choice. That she already sacrificed too much to stop before she achieves her goal, that what awaits her if she was to get back to her loved ones now is too scary for her, and that she genuinely does it to protect her friends because she knows that now, they're in the Broker's radar because of her.

As for what they have in common...as I said, we don't know that about any of the characters.

[marengogo]

UGH!-10: Welcome, to the not-so-Magical World of Idols

I’ll be There & Who focused playlist

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Howdy-do to all you smart Gurls, passionate Bois and brave Enbys!

I hope that you are doing well and that you are all packed and ready, as today, is finally the day. No, regrettably, we are not going to Oz, but we are off to a very treacherous, and to some bewildering, journey nonetheless. So grab your comfort whatever food, drink, plushie, etc and hold on tight cause it's about to be a looooooong and bumpy ride all the way to, and through; Idol World not the show by the way 😬.

🛫 Once again, welcome aboard flight DSS-875. This is Captain Marengo speaking and I would like to share some safety information for your flight today. Though the topic at hand is Idols, we are only going to be discussing Male Korean Idols as this journey is aimed to eventually demonstrate how the boys from Bangtan could successfully manage to escape from said “World”. In order to do so we will be making use of a couple of Definitions and a bit of History, and as always, logical deductions and educated guessing will be applied. As of present, the weather on our route is a bit overcast, with some rain, and I do expect a bit of turbulence. That being said, I’d like to wish you all a pleasant flight and on behalf of myself, thank you for choosing Deep Space Sparkle as your airline today. ✈️

Let's go!

If, like me, you've unfortunately made it a habit to spend an unhealthy amount of time on the Blue Bird App, you will have noticed the increasing amount of abhorrence felt by Western fans with regards to the usual treatment of Korean Idols. Notice how I highlighted those two words? Yeah …Thing is, in our present day, a Korean Idol, and their Korean fans, will never be shocked at their blatantly unfair treatment. However, for us Western fans, who only have Boy Bands as a frame of reference, such treatment is unheard of, unacceptable, and just down-right stupid.

Of Male Korean Idols and Male Western Boy Bands

The concept of Idol originated in Japan in the 1960s, and was later on adopted by Koreans as well in the 1980s. An Idol can be a musician, but can also be an actor, a dancer, a model, etc, whereas if you are part of a Boy Band, being able to sing is literally the one thing you should be able to do. Below is an excerpt found in the Wikipedia page talking about Japanese Idols, which I believe perfectly explain what an Entertainment Idol actually is:

Let’s keep in mind the words Sell Dream and Escapism, it will come in handy later. Now, because of my “limited” experience with Japanese Idols, as you all know ARASHI is very dear to me, I’d like to offer my two cents on something I’ve been wondering about with regards to the name Idol itself. Below are the definitions of the words Idol and Ideal:

For the longest time I've wondered if Japan named this type of entertainers Idols even though what they perhaps meant was actually Ideal? But then Ideal doesn’t sound as powerful as Idol, does it? Regardless, at the end of the day, that’s exactly what an Idol is; an Ideal. An Ideal that is being “sold” for lack of better words and fans can “buy” this Ideal, which was made specifically for them I mean when you think about it now, in 2024, it is a terribly dangerous “product”, but in the 1960s, they probably couldn’t even imagine things like cellphones would exist so …. In comparison, we in the West never had high expectations for our Boy Bands. Sure, dancing was fun if there was any, but we didn’t really care if we did AJ would have gotten the love he deserved 😩 all we needed was a handsome face singing about how they were gonna love us forever. Literally, that was it. The definition of bare minimum.

Eventually, once we’d grow up because don’t forget that Boy Bands are primarily considered a teen phenomenon …, so would our Boys in the Band, and we would fully expect them to fall in love with someone, preferably us, but still someone. Eventually when they would fall in love and get married, sure, there would be some fans crying cause, “it should have been me”, but that would have been about it. After a week or so we would have either made peace with it, or it would be off to Boy Band Graduation Station🫡. But A Korean Idol? Falling in love with an actual person? How is that possible when the instructions on the box clearly state that they are here for me? Like … you are telling me that, you who is supposed to be here for me are now going to be property of someone else? Like.. I literally bought you, don’t play with me! …😬🤡😩

Now before we land, I’d like to share a bit of history.

The first group to be considered an Idol Group in Korea is H.O.T., an 5M group, so here I present their debut song “Candy” - September 7, 1996. 

In comparison, around the same time, the biggest Boy Band in the West actually world in 1996 was … you’ve guessed it … Backstreet Boys. So here I give you their debut song, which was actually from the previous year one of my fav BSB songs btw “We’ve Got It Goin’ On” - September 11, 1995.

On one hand we have five American boys from Orlando, who also introduced themselves, so that we all could remember their names right away with their first song smart AF if you ask me, and just seemingly having a good time. They are not promising you the world off the bat, but they are letting you know that they are cool AF and maybe you should hang? Whereas H.O.T. are five boys from Seoul telling you that they woke up with the intention of breaking up with you, so y’all already in a relationship, like … but basically despite all odds, you are the best thing on this planet and so they will not break up, and instead they are going to be with you; forever. Basically, one group is flirting but promising nothing, the other is already committed to you. And that is basically one way you can describe the difference between Western Boy Bands and Korean Male Idols, but in better words:

A Boy in a Band would love to be heard, an Idol really needs to be heard.

✈️ I’ve already started my descent procedure into Idol World Airport. We expect to land in the next 30 seconds as scheduled. The weather is still overcast and rain is still falling. Nonetheless, we wish you a pleasant stay in Idol World and I hope to see you again very soon. On behalf of myself, thank you for choosing Deep Space Sparkle this weekend. 🛬

More Coldplay, Less One Direction

Our boys didn’t come from that Orlando Boy Band platform, they came from the Seoul Korean Idol one, and this is something we need to understand, because when they signed up to be idols, they originally signed up to sell dreams and be your means to escape reality, willingly or not. And I am not saying that escapism is bad, not at all, but like all things it has its negative side, and I can positively say that nowadays, Idol Culture is mostly associated with unhealthy escapism, which subconsciously, is one of the reasons why 4RMY fights tooth and nail to prove that 875 is for example not-Kpop. And by not-Kpop we actually mean that Bangtan are not Idols, and by not-Idols we actually mean they are not a boy band, and by not-a-boy-band we actually mean that they are more like Coldplay and not like One Direction… does that make sense? 

Let’s take a quick look at 4RMY before the Tannies: I’m a 90s kid, meaning I was around when Boy Bands were IT, from Take That all the way to Blue who were officially my last Boy Band. I was there when boys would try and cover the “As Long As You Love Me” dance in order to impress girls in elementary school and I was there when, during my last year of high school, N*SYNC disbanded and Boy Bands were officially declared uncool/losers, same as the people who liked them seriously and were not teenage girls because, once again, never forget: teenage girls only are allowed to like boy bands 🤡. In fact, One Direction even being a thing was probably because the West suddenly felt some sort of Boy Band Nostalgia, as there hadn’t been a good Boy Band or any at all actually for almost a decade then. 

But eventually, they ultimately became more of the same: one member was the most popular, the relationship between the members wasn’t as good as they were portraying it to be, the songs were always the same topic, etc etc etc. So when 875 slowly made its way into our lives, they came like a breath of fresh air, for us who didn’t even notice that we actually weren’t breathing. To begin with, even though we couldn’t understand the lyrics, the fact that the musical production was top-notch, was enough to keep you listening. Then, realising that these boys could really sing, that they could really dance, really rap and that they really did get along, was short of mind-blowing for many. And that was it; we were locked in. 

Now, Let’s Look at the Tannies before 4RMY: To be anyone in the Idol World in the big year of 2010 everybody knew you had to be part of either Y6, JY9 or 5M, aka The Big 3. Nevertheless, hundreds of other little Idol Companies did exist, because every once in a while there would be a not-Big-3 One Hit Wonder, which could put you on the map. But also, and probably mainly, if you are a musician, a performer, a rapper, ultimately you would appreciate people appreciating your art, so any company is better than no Company at all. Hence, when the boys found their way into Big H1t, I am sure they didn’t go with the intention of winning a Daesang, they knew they couldn’t happen, I’d assume that all they wanted was a platform, a stage to perform.

Because they weren’t part of the Big 3, they were not as busy as their counterpart Big 3 groups who were constantly on shows, ads etc. They had time on their hands, but they didn’t waste it. In addition to the endless hours of training that any Idol Trainee in any company would have to do, they used the hell out of their YT channel, because what did they have to lose? Dance practice, song covers, YT challenges, V-logs, Blue Bird app updates, fancafes etc etc etc. They probably figured that if the majority of the people in their own country weren’t interested, someone in the world might be. And they were right; people in the world started tuning in.

And so it was that a group of Male Korean Idols found their perfect group of fans. Fans who genuinely wanted to listen to what they had to say, to watch them dance, to laugh with them, not because they owe it to the fans, but because it made them both happy to do so. Eventually the fandom grew to unimaginable proportions and the artist reached unbelievable fame, achieving goal after goal after goal, so much so that I mistakenly thought that we had actually managed to free the boys from Idol World (as I naively said here → QA~C 8). But I’m realising now, as I am writing this blog that The Genie is Still In The blasted Lamp.

875 are still trapped on Idol World, but not for lack of trying to get out of it mind you. Most definitely Chapter 2 has made escaping virtually impossible. “But 875 have transcended Idol World Marengo, what are you saying?” You might want to tell me, and I would ask you: Have they really now? When a man is being made a public example for falling off a scooter in front of his own house. When a man was potentially dating and its fandom went literally berserk and through obnoxious lengths to try and deny it. When said fandom can’t even manage to pull up to stream for all members when needed. Basically all the Laws in Idol World still fully apply to our boys. 

Even after Chapter 2 ends, when the boys are all together, will we ever be able to get them out? Mmmm … I think that perhaps what it is, rather than getting them out, we probably would need to redefine what an Idol is, change the Laws within the World, so to say. Make it so that fans of Idols are not being given the authority, and liberty, to think they are actually “buying people” instead of “their art”. But like everything which involves money, and the Idol World racks in a lot of it, this is very much easier said than done. We are after all talking about trying to change an almost 40 year old institution in a country where women are finding it hard to even be treated with decency 😩😩😩. 

Obviously I don’t know what the solution is, but I am sure there is one, there has to be. There has to be one because the Tannies deserve to have a carefree career like Coldplay. That would literally be the ultimate goal. A career where they don’t have to worry about who they date, where they live, who they talk to, what they eat etc, but just enjoy making music and having a blast while performing it, with a fandom that respects them and looks forward to listening and supporting them. Once again, I know Chapter 2 hasn’t been easy but the most important thing at the moment, is to do what @chikooritajjk say they literally say this 👏🏾 every 👏🏾 single 👏🏾 time 👏🏾: WE GOTTA TRUST THE BOYS. Everything else will solve itself eventually, Karma will make sure of it. 

And I am done. Idol World is hella big, so I’d suggest you go wander around a little just to understand the environment that the boys are still connected to, and in their own way I’ve been trying to change for the better. Don’t stay too long though, or wander too far, some areas are hella dangerous I tell you, and nobody has any business being there. Oh and have you heard of this new song called I’ll Be There by Jin of 875? Is very good, you should check it out while you wander. 

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo.

[letitiadeanketogummiesunitedking]

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[messers-moony]

Comics 3 | A.G

Paring: Aidan Gallagher X Fem!Reader

Summary: Aidan meets an unusually pretty girl at a library while trying to find a textbook for school.

Thirty years of age, both adults still lived in the heart of New York City with bustling careers. Aidan’s singing and acting career took off after releasing his EP at twenty-five, along with his acting in The Umbrella Academy. Not to mention his phenomenal acting in the Netflix series based on Y/n’s comics.

Y/n’s comic book writing and illustrating only got busier as the years went by. So much so Aidan would have to make sure she was eating correctly as she soon became a workaholic. While he loved her passion for comics, he also loved her well-being and wanted her healthy.

Soon enough, she found her healthy balance between work and reality. But lately, she found herself delving back into old habits. She cooped herself in her office, not ever wanting to leave. Aidan tried convincing her to leave, but every time, she’d say the same thing.

“ If I leave, I’ll lose inspiration, and I have perfect ideas at the moment! “

What was even worse was she was most productive at night. So now, Aidan slept alone instead of with the girl he yearned for. Oftentimes he found himself hugging her pillow with his nose as deep as it could go without suffocating himself.

This was a very unhealthy addiction, and again, Aidan loved her enthusiasm for her work, but this was becoming too much. It was about 4 am when Aidan got restless and left the bedroom.

Hesitantly he knocked on her office door to no response. Sighing, he opened the door. There he found Y/n laid with her head on top of the desktop. She was sound asleep, looking rather uncomfortable.

Carefully he picked her up and brought her to bed. She would probably scold him in the morning for bringing her to bed instead of waking her to continue to work, but he didn’t care. She fell into bed effortlessly and instantly nuzzled into his arms, staying asleep.

He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead before falling asleep himself. Then in the morning, clattering in the kitchen could be heard. Groaning, Aidan left the bed to see Y/n in the kitchen making coffee while reading something on her phone.

“ Morning. “ Was spoke tiredly from Aidan’s mouth, causing her to look up, “ Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. “ Y/n apologized as she set her phone down.

Aidan took a seat at one of the barstools next to the ledge, “ You didn’t. I was bound to wake up eventually. I have a photoshoot later and some scenes to do. “ He replied as he rubbed his face.

“ Are you okay? “ Y/n queried, “ You’re not overworking yourself, are you? “

Aidan deadpanned, “ You’re not one to talk. “ He snapped, and Y/n looked taken aback, “ I found you asleep at your desk last night with colored pencils in your hand. “

“ I'm sorry. I just, I just really need this done. I have a deadline, and it’s stressing me out beyond belief. “ She again apologized, making Aidan sigh, “ I know, love, I know. But you can’t keep yourself in your office all day. You worry me when you’re like this, not eating, not drinking, not doing anything aside from work. “ Aidan explained.

“ I know you’re very passionate about your work, and I love that about you. You put everything you can into your comics, and that’s what makes them so good, but you need to find your balance again. You’re stressing yourself out over nothing. You’ll complete this comic in time. I know you will. “ He reassured, “ I do not deny it isn’t stressful because I know it is. But you can’t be this hard on yourself. “

Y/n sighed, “ Thank you. I’ll try to find my balance again. It’s just been so much. “ She admitted, and Aidan gave her a tiny smile, “ I know. We’ve been together for almost five years, dated for two, and married for nearly three. I know when something becomes too much. “ The brunette male retorted with a chuckle.

“ Damn, it’s almost been three years. It feels like it was yesterday. “ Y/n reminisced, “ You were such a dork back then. “

Aidan scoffed, “ And you weren’t? If I remember correctly, you wore sneakers instead of heels to our wedding. “

“ I can’t walk in heels! That’s not being a dork; that’s being intelligent. “ Y/n faked offense, and Aidan raised an eyebrow, “ And when we got back to the hotel, what did we do? “

“ Played Mario kart. “ Y/n muttered, “ Mm? I couldn’t hear you. “ Aidan teased.

She crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes playfully at her husband, “ We played Mario kart. “

“ And that is the dorky side of you, my dear. “ Aidan smirked as he got up from his chair and towards the coffee maker, “ But don’t be mistaken, I love you even more so because you’re like that. “

“ We’re not like normal married couples, are we? “ Y/n questioned as Aidan handed her a coffee, “ Definitely not. “

Life had resumed after that playful banter between both lovers. Aidan had gone on to do his photoshoot and scenes for the day while Y/n worked on her comic book.

Something had always been curious to Aidan though, more specifically, there was a question lingering in his head constantly. Where was Y/n’s family? And why didn’t she ever speak of them?

Aidan was always reasonably proud of his family, but Y/n hadn’t ever mentioned that she had a family. He’d be lying if it didn’t worry him. He didn’t want to imagine her having no family at all. While Aidan’s parents were terrific in-laws, he needed to know she had family as well.

There weren’t even pictures anywhere of them, not a sign. Her phone didn’t hold any photos of mysterious people, nor did any of the frames in the apartment they lived. The questions became more persistent as time went on.

Eventually, after months of pondering, he decided to ask. They were both watching a television show in the living room as she laid in his lap. His hand had absentmindedly began playing with her hair as the other rested upon her chest.

“ Love? “ Aidan spoke, grabbing her attention, “ Yes? “

He thought long and hard before being bluntly curious, “ Where’s your family? “ The question had now blatantly been spilled from his mouth as she froze, “ I, uh, why do you ask? “ Y/n stammered.

“ You’ve never spoken about them. I’ve never even seen proof they existed. It’s been piquing my curiosity forever, and it pains me to think you grew up with no family. “ Aidan confessed as her face softened at his concern, “ I did grow up with family. We should probably just leave it at that. “ She responded, but Aidan wasn't happy with her answer.

“ Please, what happened to them that you won’t even tell me about them? “ He persisted, “ Aidan, it’s not essential, I promise. “ Y/n replied, trying to keep her frustration to a minimum.

Aidan still wasn’t quite cheerful at her sudden annoyance, “ What are their names? Did you have any siblings? Any cousins? Any aunts or uncles? “ The male continued asking questioned until Y/n lost her temper, “ Aidan! Please! I don’t want to speak about them. They made it known long ago they wanted nothing to do with me, okay? “ Y/n snapped as she sat up and faced him.

“ But why? “ He questioned softly as he cupped her cheek, “ Because! They didn’t like the person I became. They thought it was stupid. I wanted to even think about majoring in Art. I was exiled from my own family because Art was my choice of career. “ Y/n began explaining.

She sighed, “ It didn’t help as I progressed through my career either. They caught wind of us dating and weren’t happy. Said you were an idiot, a fool, and- and just a dumbass using me for sex. I- I couldn’t take it anymore! I was sick and tired of being ridiculed my entire life. So I cut them out of my life like I should’ve many, many years ago. “

“ I’m so sorry. “ Aidan whispered, “ I didn’t mean to pry.

“ It’s okay. You didn’t know, but now you do. “ Y/n replied as she hastily wiped her cheeks.

“ Why don’t we play some Mario kart? “

[kuno-chan]

Dark Magic, and I cannot say this anymore plainly, is framed as bad because it requires, at the bare minimum, the lack of consent of an unwilling party. At worst, the death of that party or even the tampering of their very spiritual essence after death.

"But hunting"

Hunting is a survival thing. It is necessary to eat and live. Not everyone can survive on a diet without meat. Especially depending on the terrain.

Dark magic is a power thing.

Dark magic is basically an unhealthy coping mechanism for humans. I could not make this any simpler.

At base, Xadians have an issue with dark magic because they would like humans to not murder them.

[myautisticpov]

Okay, I’m kind of wondering if anyone else has this, or if it’s such a specific problem that it’s just me...

I became very, very used to framing my life around “lost time”. Like, school was intensely traumatising and I spent between 12 and 16 on mediation that made me depressed. So, I lost my childhood/early teenage years to depression and bullying.

Then I moved schools at 16 - to one where I was no longer bullied and actually made friends - and came off the medication that was making me depressed, only to immediately develop a long-term illness that stopped me from being able to do a lot of stuff, and I didn’t start to really shake that illness until I was 18/19. So I lost three years to that.

Then I finally moved out, I was in university and had a job, and then my anxiety sky-rocketed and I became so sick that I had to move back home, I could no longer work and I was lucky to get through my degree. So, I lost a couple of years to that until I got on the right combo of medication and therapy.

Then I lost about three years to a highly traumatic situation that I’m not gonna talk about because I’m not the only person involved and I want to respect the privacy of everyone else who went through this.

And, look, this brings me to about my twenty-fifth birthday, and it was so easy for me to feel like shit. I was living with my mum, I didn’t have a partner, most of my friends had moved away, and I was working a zero-hours minimum wage temp job with no idea what I was doing with my life.

And I just kept thinking, “I lost all of this time that I’m never gonna get back and I’m just gonna keep losing time forever with nothing to show for it.”

Which is probably the point at which anyone who knows me is like “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Because what that narrative leaves out is that in all that “lost time”, I got two degrees. I made and still have friends. I travelled on my own (maybe not outside of Britain, but still). I wrote dozens of books.

The point is, framing it as “lost time” was deeply, deeply unhealthy.

Which brings us to this past year.

I started 2020 with a mission to start looking for a full-time job and to maybe try to actually connect with the local queer community and to travel to meet up with friends more.

And, obviously, none of that happened.

So it’s been so, so difficult to not frame this as another lost year.

And the problem is, like... Other people keep framing it like that for me.

And it’s really tough because we do need to hold the governments who dealt with this pandemic poorly to account. We do need to make sure that the list of what they’ve taken from us includes every little thing.

And they did take those things from me, as much as depression in my teens took my ability to do anything except go to school and then crash as soon as I got home, as much as my later illness did the same, as much as my anxiety took my ability to work a job or to do uni full-time, as much as the trauma before 2020 took my ability to transition into either a PhD or full-time job once I was done with my MA.

But I can’t slip back into that mindset, or I’ll fucking lose what little handle on my mental health I have left.

So I guess I’m just wondering if I’m the only one struggling between the need to describe the damage done this last year, and the need to not frame my life as endless lost time.

[bitchfitch]

ive been considering seriously working towards publishing an actual book (e book/pdf/pay what you want thing) thats fully edited and produced with illustrations and everything. just a real clean parcel that isnt a typo ridden character exploration thing ah mcbob. but i have so many projects rn that im having trouble picking one to just narrow in and work on, so like, from these summaries which do yall think youd want to pay 69 cents* to for 50k+ words with at least one or two illustrations per chapter?

note that they will all be gothic romances and these are just the stories that i felt would be the fastest to tell so i would have a comparatively quick and easy first jab at self publishing while still having enough meat to meet the word count and thus being able to justify charging for them to myself.

Banes And Boons,

Conall E. Grim has lost nearly his entire family to werewolves in a single night, with only his bitten and turned little sister remaining he seeks out a powerful spirit with the hopes that it could heal her. Only to be told that while it could save her, she would have to remain at the spirit's side to keep her wolf at bay, unless Conall took her curse, and thus her place beside the cruel and viciouss spirit, upon himself.

Conall doesn't hesitate to take the spirit's offer, even as he feels he is falling into something much larger than just a brother's desperate attempt to save the only family he has left.

Werewolves and unicorns and witches with glass teeth. A life to be lived beneath the hill with a monster who's turning out to not be all that bad.

Cracking stone and blooming flowers

A somewhat modern retelling of the story of Pygmalion and Galatea.

Henry Wright has been abandoned by everyone who was supposed to love him. His muses coming and going as they proved themselves imperfect and disgusting, his beloved daughter having been whisked away by his jealous brother, his studio emptied of beauty as each piece smashed against the floor or burned in its frame.

He had nothing, a life as empty as the torn canvases and as blank as the marble infront of him.

If no muse would stay at his side, if no muse would love him as much as he loved them, he would just do what he does best and take matters into his own hands. Henry would make himself a muse who was truly perfect, truly free of the cruelty and humanity that plagued those that came before it.

A perfectionist artist and his slowly cracking muse.

The King's Advisors

High General Reidar and Consort Makota can not stand eachother. Which wasn't a problem when the king they both loved more than life itself kept them as distant from eachother as possible, but now that Reidar has come to live at the castle full time following a career ending injury, the two men are being forced to put up with eachother far more than either is happy with.

But after uncovering a plot that aimed to destroy their beloved king neither man can sit idly by. They both leap to action only to quickly learn that if they want to save King Baldric, they're going to have to make the ultimate sacrifice.

They'll have to work together.

all three stories will contain some hashtag dark themes [under the cut for those who want them] and all will probably be some degree of e rated but the smut wont be the front and center theme in any of them.

*69 cents will be the minimum bc i just think it would be very funny, other incriments will be in 4.20$ bc again, thats funny

warnings:

banes and boons: death, injuries, gore, Child death, comas, canibalism, unhealthy relationships, and arlo just being the worst

cracking stone and blooming flowers: obsession, domestic abuse, body horror, gaslighting, violence and gore, major character death, and unhealthy relationships.

the kings advisors: non consensual sex/rape, obsessive behaviors, violence, severe injury, domestic abuse, and you guessed it, unhealthy relationships.

[jellycreamjammedart]

I know you well enough. I know you have Crow lore to come up with that valid design. Hand it over.

Uh oh sisters! Caught!

Okay so, @frechiiie has this AU where game mascots are kinda like actors, also Banjo and Conker gay and dating, talk about a RAREpair ;)

A couple days ago I saw him answer an ask about Conker having a bar buddy who actually told him off drinking himself stupid and stay with Banjo since the bear was clearly a positive outlier in his life. Apparently figuring out who could be this bar-buddy was hard.

Then like a day or two later? My brain remembered that post and went like "THE CROW!!!" And I answered "THE CROW!!!" right back at it.

Of course Catastrophe Crow is a fictional game just like Petscop but shhh lemme have this lmao.

But you asked for Crow lore. So... YOU GET CROW LORE:

So in a setting where the game was a real release and also a real flop in the late 90's era of cute cartoon animal protagonist hype of the time, Catastrophe Crow was just one more of these. At least it would have been much better if it remained that way. Since the crow protagonist was straight up based on a drawing made by the dev's daughter Thea, the mascot was strongly associated with her. The game at its core was meant to be the dev's Christmas gift for his daughter.

Except, well.... yeah, just like in the ARG things took a very drastic change due to the dev's personal life falling to dust mid-development. No one knew what the heck he was doing with the game anymore, not even the crow themself. To make matters worse, their association with the daughter caused an unhealthy projection, where the crow often was treated as if they WERE Thea or somehow supposed to be a connection to her.

At late development the dev seemed to have let go just a little bit and tried to make the game a gift to his other kid instead, his younger son Nils. Didn't cause the crow as much of an association as it did with Thea but it was kind of implied. However everything was too far gone at that point and this change of focus hardly impacted anything.

The game was released last minute with fewer copies than most, and right before N64 era ended with the release of the Game Cube too. So it didn't release at a very favorable time-frame. Man, if only that was the issue, though...

YES THE GAME IS EXACTLY LIKE THE ARG PIECES DEPICT IT, INCLUDING THE CREEPY UNCANNY STUFF. So OF COURSE it flopped HARD, possibly traumatizing tons of unexpecting young players before it fell into obscurity of faded (or suppressed) childhood memories and eventually lost media myths.

Soon after the game's release, the dev and his company fell off the face of earth, leaving the crow to deal with the aftermath. They could consider themselves one of those "abandoned mascots" for all they knew. Due to this and having fallen into forgetfulness, they don't have many friends now.

Now years later, they're just a traumatized, fucked up little fella who can't set on an identity for themselves, and occasionally frequents the bar so that they can be a little less lonely while trying to forget their problems for a while. So they end up becoming (one of) Conker's bar-buddy. Their broken wing has long since healed of course, but it does feel a little weaker than it probably should so they still wear some kind of support on it (they probably need physiotherapy...) therefore they prefer to fly only if they really need to, on account of coming out with a temporarily sore wing.

I like to think they may seem rough around the edges, but still retains a very soft inside. They came like smoking too to calm their nerves though tries to keep it to a minimum, and will always stop and stub their cig the instant a non-smoker approaches them because they don't wanna force their bad habit onto others, that'd be just such a dickish thing to do.

Being that fucked up fella but still really wanna see their friends thrive despite they being miserable, you know? They def would push Conker off to the better and healthier option of staying with Banjo instead of drowning his sorrows away even if he made them company doing so; They don't wanna be selfish and drag others down with them.

They definitely struggle with names for themselves; They used to be okay with being named after Thea but after the whole projecting that was put onto them.... yeah no thanks, they're at the very least very sure they're not someone's dead kid. For very similar reasons they don't like being called Nils either. And in the game they were only explicitly referred to as Crow which is... well, imagine you being born and your parents naming you just "Human." Yeah. So they tend to let people call them whatever nicknames they wanna. Heck, nickname them "Scrunkly" and they'll chuckle because of how silly it sounds-- and lord knows how much they need a good laugh.

I really like the idea of Conker and Banjo both being this feathery dud's friends later (maybe Conker comments to Banjo about the conversation the crow had with him,) and try to help them get better too. Whats goes around comes around Also them and Kazooie being bird friends and both being like the gay couple's best friends!

Anything else I'm throwing in the air and just letting others take this and do away with it hehe.

[chenqingssuibian]

For the ask thing: Lan Wangji

from this post!

How I feel about this character: He’s such a sad sack. I love him so much. Lan Wangji is a mess of a man post-timeskip, and a mess of a young adult pre-timeskip. Is this merely what meeting Wei Wuxian for the first time does to a person? Or is this because he was simultaneously Lan Wangji’s first love and gay awakening? (Also, his only love, actually. Wangji, oh Wangji...) Either way: Lan Wangji’s angry attraction to Wei Wuxian is what really sold me on CQL, especially in contrast to the Lan Wangji we are first introduced to in the first few episodes. Adult Lan Wangji is MUCH better at pretending to have it all together, so the immediate cut from roughly mid-30′s Lan Wangji, Self-Actualized Gay, to teenage Lan Wangji, repressed and falling in love and SO mad about it, really Does it for me. I love that. I also love just how much of a romantic he is; a lot of times in fandom, we focus on his Big Horny Energy (which is VERY apparent, all the time, thank you Wang Yibo for conveying aroused anger with one minute twitch of your eyebrow) and ignore how SOFT he is. He knows Wei Wuxian for what can’t be more than... I don’t know, six months? In CQL, and in MDZS it’s barely a year IRRC, and in that time he has: composed a song (W I T H L Y R I C S) and named it after them both, WRAPPED HIS RIBBON AROUND BOTH THEIR WRISTS (which. baby. you’re not at all subtle. thank you cql thank you SO MUCH CQL) and had minimum two (2) near-death experiences together. I bet he was already planning the wedding. I can just imagine him going throughout his day, wondering how many children they will have. He’s so in love, even before the Sunshot Campaign and all the hurt that comes with it. I love him so much.

Romantic Ships: Wangxian, obviously. Then, in no particular order: wangning, wangningxian, wangcheng (hate sex,) wangsang (I think it would be funny,) wangjue (stealing ur brother’s boyfriend? very petty of you, wangji,) anndd... hmm. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head.

Non-romantic ships/BrOTPs: As previously stated, the Twin Jades are great and I love them. Any other friendship Lan Wangji has is headcanon material. It’s very sad. For this reason, I would like him, Nie Huaisang, and Jiang Cheng to form a No Friends club. They’re all so lonely, guys.

Unpopular Opinion: Lan Wangji’s love for Wei Wuxian is a little unhealthy and there’s no such thing as soulmates. They’re into that though so... good for them. Still wish they would get individual and couple’s therapy. One person cannot and should not be your everything, folks! You need lives outside your partner! If someone has been dead for ten years (minimum) and rejected even your friendship while alive I think you should move on! Yes, even if they come back from the dead! Also leaving to go on a honeymoon while your brother has gone into seclusion for an unknown amount of time, resulting in your uncle ONCE AGAIN having to take care of a sect (not his job) is a dick move, Novel!Wangji. I get it, you’re in love. Great. Maybe do your brother a solid?

One thing I wish had happened/would happen in canon: I wish Lan Wangji had experienced romance, or even just sex, honestly, outside of Wei Wuxian. I wish he had made an effort to move on, realized he couldn’t, and then just... accepted it instead of mourning the way he does. This is probably an unpopular opinion, but soulmates/one-true-love tropes aren’t that romantic to me. The thing that makes love wonderful is choice, and choosing to love someone, again and again, even though it’s hard. It’s not really framed that way, with wangxian, and I wish it was! If there are soulmates, they’re made. I wish there was an extra expanding on what Lan Wangji experienced during those 13-16 years (depending on adaption) that Wei Wuxian was dead. If there is one, let me know!!!

TLDR: lan wangji best boy love him

[lastbluetardis]

Chemical Reaction (18/22)

Summary: Though their chemistry class is now over, the chemistry between James and Rose is just getting started. Together, they navigate the highs of new love and the lows of coping with past trauma to forge deep and unbreakable bonds of love and commitment. Part 2 in the Catalysis series. Tagging @doctorroseprompts

This chapter: ~6900 words, teen

If you like my stories, consider leaving me a tip? I know these are trying times, but if you are able, I would really appreciate it xoxo. And as always, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated as well.

AO3 | FF | TSP

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 | Ch11 | Ch12 | Ch13 | Ch14 | Ch15 | Ch16 | Ch17 | Ch18 | Ch19 | Ch20 | Ch21 | epilogue

James was shaking. It was like he hadn’t eaten in too long and his blood sugar dropped too low and his body started rebelling against him until he gave it nourishment.

Only this was worse. Much, much worse. He was dizzy and nauseated and crippled with grief.

How had the night gone so wrong? They’d been having fun at the Phillies game, hadn’t they? They’d been laughing and lighthearted, and were so exhausted that they’d been a few minutes away from collapsing into bed together.

Then he’d gone and snooped through Rose’s mail. He should have ignored the letter. He should have asked her what it was, and asked why Jimmy had contacted her.

Would she have told the truth?

He hated that he had to ask that question, and he hated even more that he didn’t have a definitive answer.

His body moved on autopilot down the many flights of stairs of Rose’s building, not entirely aware of his surroundings. It was a miracle he didn’t trip down the steps and break his neck, considering he couldn’t quite feel his feet. He couldn’t feel much of anything apart from the heavy, aching pressure in his chest and the acid roiling in his gut.

James slipped into his dark car, which was still warm from the drive to her flat. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be with Rose, holding Rose, snuggling Rose in bed as they drifted to sleep.

Instead, here he was. About to drive home. Alone.

A break. Rose wanted a break. Because he had been such an insensitive arsehole.

But so was she.

Every insecurity he’d shared with Rose, every heartbreaking moment of the aftermath of his parents’ death… had Rose not wanted to hear about any of them? He felt stupid—so stupid—for baring so much of his soul to her without realizing she wasn’t reciprocating. How had he ever thought the nuggets of information she’d dropped for him constituted reciprocity? She had put in the bare minimum of emotional effort, giving him just enough that their communication felt like a two-way street. Did she know what she was doing? Had this been her plan all along? Get him comfortable and familiar with her so he would fall utterly in love with her? So he would have sex with her? Was that all she had been after this whole time? Had she taken advantage of his inexperience and banked on him not realizing she wasn’t putting in as much effort as he was? 

His shoulders shook as he wept into his hands, those ugly, nasty thoughts eating away at his mind until he couldn’t think of anything else. He didn’t want to believe that about Rose. These last four months with her had been nothing short of bliss. He’d never connected with anyone as much as he had with Rose. He was desperate to believe that what they’d had was real. It had to be real. It hurt too much for it all to have been nothing.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting in the dark before his tears stopped enough for him to turn his car on. The engine growled to life, and the time 12:03 flashed blue in his eyes. Had it only been twenty minutes since he had first pulled up to Rose’s flat? How had twenty minutes completely destroyed the last seven months of their friendship and relationship?

His vision blurred again with fresh tears, but he impatiently rubbed them away to put his car in gear and drive off down the deserted street.

It probably should have bothered him that he didn’t remember driving. Anything could have happened. He could have run every single stop light, could have hit anything or anyone. But he was suddenly home, pulling into his dark driveway sometime later. His house was equally dark. He hadn’t left any lights on because he hadn’t expected to come back here tonight.

The house was dead silent. Not even his cats could deign to greet him. He toed off his shoes by the front door then plopped his keys and wallet into the dish on the cabinet beside it.

“Pip?” he croaked, voice raspy from all the tears he’d shed. “Merry? Gollum?”

There was a tiny chirp from the living room—Pippin and Merry were curled together on the sofa. James frowned. They usually slept in his bed, even on the nights he didn’t come home. He stepped over to them and gave them each a few chin scritches, but they were too drowsy to do much other than purr lightly.

“Where’s Gollum, eh?” he asked them, glancing around the living room. The Siamese wasn’t in the cat tree, or anywhere in sight. After the night he’d had, it would be his luck if Gollum had crawled off somewhere and died.

Whatever. He would look for him in the morning. James wanted nothing more than to strip down to his pants, fall into bed, and not wake up for a few days.

However, those plans were instantly scrapped when he stepped into his bedroom and was greeted with the pungent, acrid odor of ammonia. A huge, reeking damp spot sat in the middle of his bed.

“God-fucking-dammit!” he shouted, kicking his bed frame. 

He cried out and hopped on one foot as his toes burned in agony. His anger surged. Anger at himself, for jumping to conclusions and making too many accusations; anger at Rose, for keeping all of her secrets; anger at Jimmy, for everything he’d done to Rose; anger at his cat, for weeing on his bed when all he wanted to do was sleep and not wake up for a very long time.

James sank onto the edge of his bed—far away from the urine stain—his tears starting up again in earnest. He wanted Rose, and he hated that he wanted her. She had broken his heart more thoroughly than anyone ever had before, yet he still loved her. God, did he love her. 

Was that wrong of him though? Was it unhealthy that he wanted her, wanted to make up with her, after everything they’d said that night? Could they even make up from something like this?

He hoped they could. He hoped they could find some sort of middle ground. What that middle ground looked like, he didn’t know; his brain was too foggy with exhaustion and grief to think about possible resolutions and compromises they could make.

Something vibrated against his thigh. Sniffling and wiping his sleeve across his running nose, James fished his mobile out of his pocket. A new message from Rose.

Did you make it home okay?

He wanted to reply, “What do you care?” but curbed the impulse. That wasn’t fair. If she’d had to drive home at midnight after the argument they’d just had, he would want to know she was safe.

“Yeah,” is all he sent.

Okay. Glad to hear it. Sleep well James.

“Fat fucking chance,” he muttered to his phone, and instead typed out, “Yeah. You too.”

He set his phone face-down on the mattress beside him and rubbed his fingers into his eyes. A throbbing headache was beginning behind his brow. He would love nothing more than to sleep soundly and dreamlessly, but knew that his brain wouldn’t shut down enough for him to get any restful sleep.

Besides, it’s not like his bed was in any sort of state to be slept in.

With a groan, James pushed himself to his feet and tucked his phone into his pocket. He ripped off all the layers of his bedding, cursing when he saw they were soaked down to the mattress cover. Had Gollum held his bladder all goddamn day so he could piss right through everything?

He carried the stinking pile of sheets and blankets to his laundry room and settled in for a long night of washing. He stuffed the duvet into his washer—glad this home used to belong to a single mother of three who had invested in a giant washing machine, and left it behind when she’d moved out—and dumped in two detergent pods before programming a long, hot wash cycle. He then took the rest of his blankets to his kitchen sink.

The sight of two days’ worth of dirty dishes made him want to throw them all against a wall—broken dishes didn’t need to be cleaned. However, the mess of broken dishes would be more taxing. Sucking in a deep breath, he blew it out noisily as he dropped his sheets onto the floor and loaded everything into the dishwasher.

When the sink was empty, he grabbed his blankets and gave them all an individual rinse to hopefully keep the cat urine stain from setting.

It took nearly two dryer cycles for his duvet to be completely dry, and then another two loads of laundry before the rest of his blankets and sheets were clean. To his relief, all traces of cat urine odor were gone.

It was the dead of night by the time he made his bed; if he fell asleep right now, he would get at least four hours in before he would have to get up for classes. Was it worth it to try to sleep? He was keyed up from his middle of the night laundry session and his brain was still too loud. Maybe he should give up on the notion of sleep and try to take a nap after classes. Though would it even be productive if he attended classes?

James flopped onto his back on the fresh duvet, breathing in the scent of clean laundry. He would have to revoke the cats’ bedroom privileges until they—Gollum—proved they could be trusted not to wee on everything.

He sat bolt upright. He hadn’t thought to check the guest bedroom. Grumbling to himself and crossing his fingers, he jogged down the hall, and cursed vehemently under his breath when he smelled cat urine.

What the hell? Should’ve left the stupid arsehole to drown.

Well. He was already awake. In for a penny, and all. Stripping that bed as well, he began the same laundry routine. While that duvet was in the wash, James indulged in a quick shower. The sweat and grime of the previous day coupled with crying his eyes out intermittently for the past few hours made him feel filthy. 

The shower didn’t relax him as much as he’d hoped, not when the evidence of Rose was all around him. He hadn’t realized how completely she had insinuated herself into his home, into his life. Her shampoo, conditioner, and body wash sat right beside his, her bottles of pink and yellow keeping company with his blue and red ones.

Firmly ignoring her products, James rushed through his shower, lathering his hair and body in record time. But when he went to his pajama drawer, he was yet again reminded of Rose when he saw a set of her pjs in the drawer too. He couldn’t help but touch them, feeling the soft fabric beneath his fingertips as his brain reminded him of all the times he’d pushed her top off before they made love.

His stomach ached with longing. Hurriedly shutting the drawer, James instead moved to grab a pair of boxer-briefs. Rose’s knickers sat in a small pile in that drawer too. Growling in frustration, he grabbed a pair of pants at random and slipped them on before bending to root through his t-shirt drawer. Unsurprisingly, he found several of Rose’s shirts mixed in with his.

How had he not realized how much of Rose existed in his house? How had he not realized that her light and beauty shone through his home, and that she had made it her home too?

Because I loved it. 

And he had. He had loved living with Rose, and had been counting down the days when she would officially move out of her flat and into his house.

His tears nearly started up again when he realized that he may never share a home with Rose if they couldn’t find a way to work through all that had been said. No more sleepy mornings spent giggling and kissing in bed. No more impromptu dance parties in the kitchen just because they felt like being silly. No more late-night chats that sometimes carried them into the wee hours of the mornings. No more exploring every beautiful inch of her body and losing himself in her love and pleasure.

He didn’t particularly care about the prospect of no more sex. Brilliant though it was, he found himself more devastated by the loss of Rose’s friendship than the loss of her body. He had fallen in love with her, and the thought of her not being in his life anymore was agonizing. They’d known each other for seven months, and she had somehow become a constant in his life, an unmovable force that he’d been confident would never be gone.

The unknown was killing him. The uncertainty of whether he and Rose would be able to make up. If they did manage to reconcile, to forgive and heal, would their relationship look the same as it did before?

A distant chime from down the hall told him the wash cycle was finished. Sniffling, James pulled on a soft, worn t-shirt and padded down the hall to continue his laundry. When the duvet was in the dryer and the sheets were in the washer, James started searching for Gollum. As irritated as he was with his cat, he was also concerned; apart from the first week James had brought Gollum home, the feline had never had litter box issues.

Drifting from room to room, James finally found Gollum in the basement—which also doubled as an office space—lying on the desk chair.

“What’s gotten into you, you little menace?” he asked, crouching beside the cat. Gollum didn’t react, making James’s heart lurch. “Gollum?”

He reached out and rested his hand on the cat’s side. Gollum let out a noise between a chirp and a growl.

“Thought you were dead for a minute. What on Earth is your problem, buddy? Are you not feeling well? Is the litter box not clean enough for you? Are you trying to make my shitty day even more shitty?” James sighed, and stroked the top of Gollum’s head. “I’ll call the vet when they open. In the meantime, try not to wee on anything else, yeah?”

Gollum huffed out a breath, then closed his eyes again, drifting off to sleep.

The rest of the night passed listlessly for James. When he wasn’t switching over laundry, he worked on cleaning his house from top to bottom. Anything to keep his mind busy and away from Rose, because otherwise all he could think about was the way he’d raised his voice and talked over her, the way he’d suggested she wasn’t as invested in their relationship as he was, the way she’d sobbed and hugged herself and flinched away from him. And all of that was something he definitely didn’t want to think about.

The sky was beginning to lighten in the distant horizon by the time he’d finished. His house was immaculate. There was not a scrap of unclean fabric anywhere, what with him moving on to washing his clothes and the various towels and blankets strewn around his home.

His eyes burned with exhaustion, and he thought he might be able to get some sleep. He preemptively filled his cats’ food dishes so that they wouldn’t barge into his room in an hour to demand breakfast, then he went into his bedroom and crawled beneath his sheets. Before settling in to try to sleep, he shot off a series of short emails to his various professors, letting them know he wouldn’t be in class that day, and he would arrange with some of his classmates to get their notes. That task finished, James silenced his phone and set it on the nightstand, then tugged his sheets up to his ears.

He hadn’t realized that his bed had begun to smell like Rose until he was surrounded by the scent of laundry detergent rather than her subtle floral aroma. With an intensity that stole his breath away, he was aware of how much he missed Rose. Missing her hurt almost as much as their fight did, because despite everything that had happened, he remained desperately in love with her. He knew that he would do just about anything to try to make things right with Rose, if she would let him. He hoped she would.

That train of thought kept him from getting much sleep. His mind kept replaying their argument over and over again, and it kept coming up with new rebuttals and explanations he wished he could have said instead of losing his temper.

It was ten o’clock by the time James gave up on the idea of getting any more rest. He felt worse now than he had when he’d collapsed into bed four hours ago. Bleary-eyed, James stumbled to the kitchen to begin a pot of coffee. While it brewed, he went to check on Gollum. His food dish beneath his cat tree was full, and the cat himself had barely moved from his position on the office chair.

“All right, bud. Vet time,” James murmured, stroking Gollum’s forehead and cheeks.

He went back upstairs for his phone, and placed a call to the veterinarian’s office. There were no available in-person appointments, but they told James he could drop the cat off with them and they would take some blood and urine samples from Gollum throughout the course of the day. 

James didn’t feel particularly good about dropping his sick cat off and leaving him alone, but the alternative was waiting a few days for an open appointment. He thanked the vet tech and said he would be by with his cat within the hour.

With a sigh, James pulled on some clothes, poured coffee into a travel thermos, and managed to get Gollum into his carrier with minimal fuss. Gollum loathed being in a car carrier, and often yowled and growled for the entire duration until he was set free again; the fact that he remained utterly silent and unmoving was testament to the fact he felt poorly.

The drive to the vet’s clinic was unremarkable, as was the transfer of his cat into their care. He confirmed his contact information, and thanked them for being able to take Gollum so quickly.

Since he was already out and about, James stopped by a nearby Walmart for his monthly supply run. He hadn’t thought to bring a list along on what he had assumed would be a quick stop at the vet’s, so he tried his best to remember everything he needed.

He was about to head to the front registers when a display of vibrant colors caught his eye. Paint swatches.

Hmm. Been meaning to repaint my bedroom.

Pulling his shopping cart to the side, James grabbed a booklet and began leafing through for some palette ideas. Currently, his walls were boring off-white, which hadn’t really bothered him before. He always assumed he would eventually get around to repainting, but after nearly two years of living there, everything was the same as when he’d moved in.

No time like the present.

He spent the next half hour poring over paint colors and mentally mapping the colors onto his bedroom walls. He frequently found himself wondering whether Rose would like a certain color, before he shut down that train of thought; it always came back, though. For the past several months, Rose was never more than half a thought away. Despite their current situation, that was a hard habit to break.

In the end, he decided on an eggshell-finish steel blue color that could have passed for gray. A nice, cool, neutral shade (and, despite his best efforts, he was sure Rose would like it too). He added a soft white for his ceiling and a sharp white glossy paint to his order to touch up the trim and crown molding. With his new paint cans in tow, he moved to the next aisle for paint rollers and brushes, protective cloth canvas, tape, a paint tray, and any other painting accoutrements he could find.

On his way home, he stopped by a fast-food drive-thru for a burger and an order of fries. His cholesterol was probably not pleased with him, considering he’d eaten a cheesesteak and fries for dinner the night before, but he ultimately decided to hell with his cholesterol. 

It was noontime when he finished his lunch, and he hopped right in with his painting project. It took him an hour to move all of his furniture to the middle of the room, and to unhang the various decorations on his walls. Not sure how long the painting would take, James shifted his entire dresser into his spare bedroom, where he figured he would sleep for the next night or two until the project was finished.

The soothing, repetitive movements of painting were cathartic, which is more than James could have hoped for. It took a fair amount of concentration, especially to make sure he didn’t drip paint where it didn’t belong. He enjoyed cutting in the corners and edges of his walls using one of the small brushes he’d bought, but he didn’t like using the broad paint roller to cover large areas. That was an easy and mindless task, which meant his brain could go back to Rose. And that was definitely not where he wanted his brain to go.

How much longer would his memory replay their fight for him? How long would it take before he stopped thinking about everything he could have and should have said differently? And how long was this break of theirs going to last?

Several times, he had been tempted to take photographs of his bedroom and send them to Rose. A tiny little olive branch, maybe. But no, that was stupid. That would look like he didn’t care about or didn’t want to address their fight.

He still took photos, though, wanting a before and after comparison for his own memories.

He was about to move on to the last wall of his bedroom when the vet called with an update on Gollum. When his phone had rung, his heart had jumped into his throat; he hadn’t been sure whether he was hoping or dreading to see Rose’s name. The crushing disappointment he felt gave him his answer. It took everything he had to not dismiss the call and instead phone Rose, desperate to speak with her and start mending whatever broke between them.

However, he had a duty to his cat, and so he accepted the vet’s call. Gollum, it turned out, had a rather severe urinary tract infection. The vet wanted to keep him overnight to start him on an aggressive antibacterial regimen, and to give him intravenous fluids because the cat was dangerously dehydrated.

The guilt nearly overwhelmed James. He hadn’t realized Gollum hadn’t been drinking or acting any differently; if the cat hadn’t wee’d on the beds, James wouldn’t have known anything was wrong. The vet tech, seeming to sense his distress, assured him that UTIs could frequently get overlooked, but that Gollum should make a full recovery.

“We anticipate you’ll be able to pick him up in a day or two.”

“Great, thanks,” James breathed. “Really. Thanks so much.”

The call reminded him it was time to feed his other cats. He had shut them away into the basement to keep them from wandering into his bedroom while he painted. As he walked down the hall, he could hear Pippin crying and scratching at the door.

“Sorry, sorry,” he called through the door. “One minute, boys. One minute, then I’ll bring down your dindin.”

He grabbed the two empty food dishes in the kitchen, filled them with kibble, grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge, and opened the basement door. Pippin bolted upstairs and sprinted directly to where his bowl usually sat. He froze when he saw it wasn’t there, and James couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“Right here, bud,” James said, shaking the bowl. “C’mon. You’re dining in the basement tonight, and tomorrow. Until I’ve finished painting. I absolutely do not trust you to not brush up against the wet walls, and I don’t fancy washing paint off of you.”

James continued talking to his cats as he carefully walked down the steps, wary of Pippin and Merry who both were winding around his ankles. Wouldn’t that just be the perfect ending to the past twenty-four hours? His relationship with Rose had crashed and burned, then he went and broke his neck falling down the stairs.

Once the cats were happily eating their dinner, James returned to his bedroom and worked on finishing what he could. He worked diligently until nightfall, pleased with his progress and with how well the color looked. However, he was growing to realize that the warm brown wood of his dresser, nightstand, and bookcases didn’t match with the cooler tones of the room.

Well, he’d been planning to upgrade his furniture anyway from the inexpensive mishmash of pieces he’d found at second-hand shops. Figuring he was done for the night, James set up a rotating fan to help with air circulation then went into his bathroom for a shower. Paint flecks spattered his face, hair, and arms; it took quite a bit of vigorous scrubbing before he was satisfied he’d washed it all off.

Once he was clean, dried, and dressed in pajamas, he exited his bedroom and closed the door behind himself so that he could release his cats from their basement prison. Not particularly hungry but figuring he ought to eat, he cut up an apple and scooped a dollop of peanut butter onto a plate, then took it and his laptop to his couch. Aching and exhausted, James simply sat on his sofa with his head tilted back and his eyes shut.

He nearly dozed off until Pippin clumsily jumped into his lap, nearly upending James’s snack. 

“Shoo,” James grumbled, moving his cat to the sofa cushion beside him.

Pippin huffed, then walked in a circle half a dozen times before plopping right next to James’s thigh. Absently stroking his cat, James munched on his pitiful dinner and opened up his laptop to IKEA’s website.

He spent the next hour browsing new bedroom furniture. With the light, cool-toned walls, he thought dark furniture would pop rather nicely. He fell utterly in love with a curved, corner-unit bookcase, and with a long chest of drawers that could fit enough clothes for two people. He favorited both of those pieces of furniture as he wondered what to do with his current furniture. Some of it could be repurposed to other rooms in his house, but others, like his bed frame—if he decided to upgrade that as well—would have to be sold or donated.

The ring of his doorbell interrupted his mental reconfiguration of his home. He leapt to his feet and jogged to his front door, cautiously peering into the peephole to see who was visiting him so late at night. A tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed man had his face pressed close to the door, as though he could look through the opposite end of the peephole.

James threw open the door. “Jack? What the hell are you doing here?”

The other man scanned his eyes up and down James’s body, taking in the pajamas and his damp, messy hair. A salacious grin crossed Jack’s face.

“Oops, I didn’t interrupt anything important, did I?”

It took James a few seconds to realize what Jack meant. Then he wondered why Jack would think he and Rose had been in the middle of having sex. Eventually he remembered that nobody else was aware that he and Rose were in the middle of an argument. Which made him remember that he and Rose were in the middle of an argument. His mood soured, and he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“What do you want, Jack?”

Jack simply stared at him for a beat before saying, “It’s Thursday.”

James’s stomach sank. Thursday… pub quiz night… shit.

“We didn’t see you at Molly’s, and none of us had heard from you. I thought maybe you were busy with Rose, caught up in all sorts of delicious debauchery that I would love to hear about. But you don’t exactly seem to be in a state of post-coital bliss, so…”

“What do you want, Jack?” James repeated, gritting his teeth. His sleepless night had finally caught up with him, and he was suddenly exhausted. His body felt leaden and his head began to ache. The last thing he wanted to do was stand in his doorway and have this conversation with his friend/ex-boyfriend.

Jack scrutinized him so intently that James had to fight the urge to slam the door in Jack’s face.

“What’s up with you?” 

“None of your bloody business,” James snapped. “Look, it’s late. Sorry I missed trivia night. I’ll be there next week. But if you wouldn’t mind…”

In a move James was not anticipating, Jack stepped forward and into James, startling him into backing up a step. Before he knew it, they were inside his house, and Jack had shut the door behind him.

“What the hell Jack?” James exploded. “I’m not in the bloody mood for this. Get out.”

“Spill. What’s happened?” Jack asked. Before James could shout at him again, he turned his head down the hall, sniffing. “Are you getting your house repainted?”

“Jack!” James followed uselessly as Jack strode down the hall to his closed bedroom door.

The other man threw open the door and flicked on the lights, revealing the messy, freshly-painted bedroom.

“Yes, I’m repainting my bedroom. Congratulations on your deductive reasoning skills. Will you please leave now?”

“Is there a reason you’ve started repainting your room on a random Thursday? That sounds like more of a weekend project.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I was out shopping and saw paint swatches and had the urge to repaint my bedroom. So here we are.”

“Why were you out shopping and looking at paint swatches in the middle of a school day? Play hooky, did you? You know, whenever I blow off classes for the day, it’s usually because I’m having sex. Was Rose too busy? Or have you worn her out already?”

James’s cheeks burned, even as his chest crumpled in on itself. He had done his best to not think about Rose all afternoon, yet here was Jack, bringing her up every other sentence.

“Well, at least I can finally say I got you in the bedroom,” Jack said lightly, digging his elbow into James’s ribs.

James managed a weak, half-hearted snort. “Not quite how you expected it though, is it?”

“Admittedly, we were both a lot more naked,” Jack lamented. “I’ll let you save the nakedness for Rose. Speaking of, what does she think of your sudden home makeover?”

James’s stomach hollowed out, and he surprised himself by confessing, “Dunno. Haven’t told her.”

Jack went silent for the first time all night. James could feel his friend’s eyes on him, but he steadfastly inspected his walls, looking for any imperfections he would have to pay close attention to when he applied the second coat.

“James, what happened?”

Jack’s voice was so soft and so knowing that the backs of James’s eyes prickled. Damn. He thought he was done crying. James sighed and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

“I think… I think Rose and I might be breaking up soon,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Jack simply blinked at him, his face expressionless. “Right. We’re gonna get some alcohol, then you are going to explain everything to me. Why do you think you and Rose are breaking up? You two are the epitome of soulmates, if such a thing exists.”

James snorted, remembering every hurtful thing he and Rose had said last night. “Not anymore, we’re not.”

Jack clapped him lightly on the back, before he encircled his arm around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze. “Let’s go sit down.”

Keeping his arm where it was, Jack guided James to the kitchen and plopped him into the chair that Rose usually sat in. James didn’t bother moving, and instead watched his friend go to the fridge and pull out a partially-drunk bottle of wine. He and Rose had opened that bottle last weekend. They’d snuggled on the sofa together and made a drinking game out of watching a cooking show together. Half way through the bottle, they’d gotten pleasantly tipsy and had stopped paying attention to the television in favor of making out.

Jack found the cabinet that contained the wine glasses and pulled down two of them. He sat at the table opposite of James, filled the glasses, and pushed one towards him. James gulped down half of it in one go.

“Okay. Tell me everything,” Jack said, topping off James’s wine glass.

The words poured out of him, from every heartbreaking thing Rose had told him, to everything he had said in return. Jack’s face remained impassive as James spoke, never once interrupting, even though James wasn’t sure he managed to capture all of the details as clearly as he would have preferred.

“I’ve ruined everything,” James concluded, polishing off the liquid in his glass before refilling it.

“No, you haven’t,” Jack said gently. “You buggered it up a little bit. But so did Rose. You brought up some valid points, James. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is honest and forthcoming. It isn’t a good balance for one person to constantly be sharing while the other remains a closed book. However, it’s not healthy to expect the same level of reciprocity from Rose as what you bring to the table. Especially when you haven’t been upfront with Rose about your expectations. And where you did bugger things up was with shooting yourself down so hard. Especially as a way to excuse what you’ve said, or assumptions you’ve made.”

“But… I genuinely feel like I’m at a complete and utter loss all the time,” James defended, ringing his fingertip around his wine glass. “It’s like… it’s like people innately know how to do this, this romance thing, and I’m bumbling along like an idiot.”

“Were you insecure in your friendship with Rose? Before you began dating? Did you feel any of this last semester?”

James paused, considering. He’d always had some butterflies when he spent time with Rose last semester, but for the most part, he’d simply enjoyed being in her presence. That hadn’t changed at all, despite their new relationship status. She had remained his best friend, the person he always wanted to be around, and the person he wanted to share every piece of his life with.

“No,” he whispered, pressing his fingertips into his eyes.

“Soooo… what’s the difference between being Rose’s friend versus being her boyfriend? I mean, I assume by now that you’re having sex? Apart from that, it’s not like anything really changed. Is the sex bad or something? Do you not like it?”

James felt his cheeks heating as his stomach twisted. Being intimate with Rose was one of the most special things he’d ever shared with someone. Not only did it feel brilliant, better than he ever thought physical pleasure could be, but it was equally as emotionally satisfying. Being vulnerable with Rose hadn’t been terrifying or overwhelming, but rather comforting. There had been nobody he trusted more than Rose.

“No,” he croaked. “No, it’s been… it’s been incredible. Everything with her has been incredible.”

“Has Rose given any indication that she has been dissatisfied with you in any way? Not even with the sex, but just…” Jack waved his hands around in the air. “…in general?”

You’re everything I never thought I deserved to have.

Hot tears burned in his eyes then dripped down his cheeks. Every kiss she’d given him, every squeeze of her hand in his, every sleepy smile that spread across her face when she woke up and saw him… It all raced through his head, a testament to their love.

What have I done?

He pressed his palms into his eyes

“No,” he answered, his voice raw.

Jack sighed. “Oh, James.”

“I know!” He plonked his forehead down onto the table and curled his arms around his head, tugging on his hair until it hurt. “I fucked up, Jack.”

James heard the scraping of chair legs on the floor, then a warm body was pressed tightly into his own. Jack wrapped his arm around James’s shoulders, leaning into him in a sideways hug.

“Much like having sex,” Jack began, “having an argument takes more than one person. Most times, anyway. If either situation is being done by only one person, chances are they’re a wanker.”

James let out a weak laugh, even as his eyes and throat burned with more tears.

“Rose said some very hurtful things,” Jack said, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down James’s arm. “She needs to apologize and address those. But you accused her of some pretty terrible things, too. From what you’ve said, Rose’s relationship with this Jimmy guy was toxic, if not abusive. It’s insulting for you to suggest she would want to go back into a relationship like that.”

James’s stomach ached. He had known for months that Rose’s relationship with Jimmy had been unhealthy, and that her heart had been badly broken. That should have been enough for him. Did he really need to know every single detail of her heartbreak?

No, he decided. No, he didn’t. However, he would have liked to have known that Jimmy had reached out to her. At the very least, James wanted to know why Rose hadn’t wanted to tell him Jimmy had contacted her.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” he admitted.

“At least you know you want to fix it,” Jack said, giving James a squeeze. “That’s a good start. It means you’ve determined that what you have with Rose is worth fighting for. But you need to take a long, hard look at what you want from this relationship, and more importantly, what you want from Rose. And you need to be receptive to what she wants from you and your relationship. And you need to work on your own insecurities and stop projecting them onto Rose. That’s a shitty thing to do, James. You have the insecurities, so it’s your job to work through them. Stop making excuses for yourself, and stop projecting them onto Rose.”

“Not sugar coating this at all, are you?” James muttered, though he knew Jack’s advice was sound.

“Nope. I’ve let you mope for a half hour, but now you need to start making things right. And remember. You can only change yourself—you can’t change Rose. So decide what you’re willing to put up with, because she might never be as open as you want her to be. But also set some boundaries for yourself. A relationship is give and take, and lots of compromise. You can’t keep giving and giving and giving, or else you’re not going to have anything left.”

James cocked his head to the side and peeked up at Jack. “Do you have a degree in relationship counseling that I don’t know about?”

Jack laughed, and took his arm away from James’s shoulders to instead ruffle his hair. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“But how do I start a conversation with Rose to tell her I want to fix things?” James asked.

Jack pursed his lips and tapped his finger to his chin in mock thought. “Have you considered anything like “Hi Rose, I really want to make up and then make out”?”

James snorted. “I’ll think of something else. Oh, and I might have some furniture coming tomorrow or Saturday. Wanna help me move stuff?”

Jack winked. “You know, I think I’m busy. Why don’t you see if Rose is free?”

“Subtle,” James drawled. He then sighed. “Thanks for stopping by, Jack.”

“See, aren’t you glad I wasn’t put off by your less-than-warm welcome? If you want to practice your apology skills, I’ll take one.”

“Okay, I think it’s time we said goodbye,” James said, dragging his weary body up from the chair. He collected their empty wine glasses and set them in the sink.

“A piece of advice, don’t try that one with Rose. Maybe try a kiss or two. I’ll take one of those, if you’re offering.”

James rolled his eyes and lightly shoved his friend out of the kitchen. They’d only made it a few steps when the doorbell rang.

“Bit late for a social call, isn’t it?” Jack asked, frowning at James.

James gestured up and down the length of Jack’s body. “You can talk, showing up here at nine o’clock.”

“Touché. Late-night furniture delivery?”

“I haven’t ordered anything yet. Besides, no one would deliver this late.”

Shrugging, James stepped ahead of his friend to yank open the front door. His breath left him in a sharp, little whoosh when he beheld the person standing in the yellow glow of the porch light, cradling a small, plastic container to her stomach.

“Rose.”

[imagitory]

hmm, how about an au where the dursley's don't treat harry horribly but there's like, still some obvious tension? like idk, maybe aunt petunia is more prominent here due to her weird relationship with the wizarding world and her sister

Hmm…let’s see…

1) Back in 1980, Lily not only wrote Petunia a letter about Harry’s birth, but asked to speak to Petunia about something very serious. Petunia, naturally, purposefully ignored the letter and its request. Lily was hurt by the rejection and considered writing another letter, but James instead decided to speak to Petunia himself. When James showed up on the Dursleys’ doorstep, Vernon angrily tried to eject him from the premises, but James stood his ground and kept his temper as best as he was able. “Petunia, listen to me,” he urged her, “Lily is scared for your safety – we all are! She wants you to know what’s happening in the Wiz – our world, so you and your family will be safe! I know you hate magic, but I know you want your family to be safe, just as much as we do! If you don’t want to talk to me, I get it, but…just hear Lily out! Please!” Several days later, Petunia decided to meet with Lily. The two rode their respective children in their prams to the visit, and Petunia laid eyes upon Harry for the first time. Lily told her about Voldemort’s rise and her and James’s work with the Order. Although the two sisters still were very different people, Petunia was startled by the level of concern and genuine love Lily expressed for her and, despite herself, came to realize that Lily had never seen her sister in that “second place” category that her parents might have. Lily offered to place protective enchantments on the Dursley home, which Petunia refused, but Petunia didn’t reject Lily’s offer to stay in touch and even asked her to be careful.

2) This unfinished bridge toward reconciliation made it so that when Harry lost his parents and were sent to the Dursleys, Petunia at least felt immense guilt and obligation toward raising Harry for Lily’s sake. Vernon resented Harry immensely and Petunia still subconsciously favored her own son and distrusted Harry’s magic, but she still treated him like family. Petunia insisted on giving Harry the smaller of the two bedrooms upstairs (because Harry was always smaller than Dudley, and thus needed less room), and taught Harry to keep his “oddities” to himself so he could fit in with Dudley and his friends. Rather than Harry being hidden from everyone’s view, Petunia merely tried to make Harry appear and act perfectly normal. Vernon, who hated magic even more than Petunia, would insist on Harry being “normal” too, in the misguided thought that they could “stamp the magic out of him.” Harry would always know deep inside of himself, though, that he was not normal, and would get frustrated about Petunia and Vernon trying to tamp him down all the time.

3) Because Dudley would know about Harry’s “oddities” and Petunia would feel more of a flawed overprotectiveness toward both children, Dudley would grow up thinking he had to “keep Harry out of trouble,” and so would likewise try to follow both of his parents’ examples, giving Harry a hard time for “acting weird” and making up lies around the kids and teachers in school to try to cover them up. Dudley would still be “the golden boy” of the family, but less explicitly – it would be more insinuated in how Vernon would always compare Harry unfavorably to Dudley or in how Petunia would use Dudley as a positive example. This would prompt some resentment in Harry toward Dudley, but Dudley himself would only see it as him doing what his mother wanted him to do, which was to look after his cousin. Their relationship would sour dramatically when Harry started attending Hogwarts, as Dudley would hate that Harry rejected all of the “help” and “protection” he and his parents had given him throughout the years and Harry would be fed up with Dudley acting like he wasn’t ashamed of him and trying to make him conform just to make things easier for him. Nonetheless both boys would still feel some lingering familial affection for each other, since they grew up together and were in a way each other’s first friend, even if the friendship was unhealthy. It would be that affection that would fuel Harry to rescue Dudley from a dementor in his fifth year and that would prompt Dudley to completely reform himself by Harry’s sixth year, becoming thoroughly versed in Wizarding culture so as to better support Harry, much to his parents’ dismay. Eventually Petunia became more accepting of Dudley’s involvement in the Wizarding World, but only to the extent that she would ask the bare minimum of questions to get by – if she didn’t need to know something, she’d purposefully ignore anything magical in her general vicinity. Vernon meanwhile would often turn purple with anger and go very quiet whenever anything magical was brought up at all.

4) When Harry received his Hogwarts letter, Petunia and Vernon initially tried to conceal it from him, but upon Harry snatching hold of the letter and reading it, Petunia tried to persuade Harry to reject the invitation. After all, they’d planned that Harry and Dudley were already going to Smeltings together, right? Didn’t Harry want to go to school with Dudley? It’d be awfully inconvenient to return Harry’s school uniform and remove him from the school’s roster so abruptly. Harry felt the pressure to reject the invitation, but couldn’t accept it – he tried to persuade Petunia that it might be easier for him to keep his “weirdness” under wraps if he knew how to control it, but that argument went nowhere. After not receiving any reply for multiple weeks, Professor McGonagall paid the Dursleys a visit herself, in person. When she came to call, Vernon ordered Harry and Dudley to stay in their rooms upstairs and not make a sound until they came to get him. Dudley and Harry, however, disobeyed Vernon and crept out to the landing to listen in, where he heard the Dursleys talking to McGonagall, insisting that Harry didn’t want to go to their school and that he would be attending school with his cousin, as was proper. The meeting had been cold but relatively calm until McGonagall brought up James and Lily – the memory of her deceased younger sister brought out such a teary rage from Petunia that she ordered McGonagall to get out and to never come near her family again. McGonagall bringing up Harry’s parents, however, made Harry come downstairs at last. “You knew my parents?” he croaked, staring at McGonagall. Petunia and Vernon both tried to force Harry back upstairs, but McGonagall and Harry both ignored them, solely focusing on each other even as Dudley watched them apprehensively from the door frame. McGonagall stared at Harry, a slight shine in her eyes despite her severe face, and she said, “…Yes.” Even though Petunia was kinder to him in this version of events, she still almost never discussed her sister or her brother-in-law – the most Harry had ever gleaned was that they were also “odd” like him, and that they’d been killed by an evil man with similar powers. The thought of someone actually knowing them – of having liked them – was one Harry had always hoped might be real. Petunia and Vernon once again tried to throw McGonagall out of the house, but this time, Harry interjected, “I want to go. I want to go to Hogwarts.” The decision horrified all of the Dursleys, Dudley included, but McGonagall smiled proudly, saying that if Petunia and Vernon simply dropped him off in London that Friday, the Hogwarts gameskeeper, Hagrid, would be happy to escort him to Diagon Alley to get his school supplies.

5) Because of the shift in dynamic between Harry and Petunia, which resulted in him not being neglected and abused but prompted him to see his magic as a burden and something to hide, Harry is less starved for affection and more interested in following his own path, screw the haters. Therefore, when the Sorting Hat was placed on his head, it considered the mind it was reading very carefully, before finally shouting, “SLYTHERIN!” The Boy Who Lived – still a brave, hot-blooded, selfless young man – was Sorted into the same house as his schoolyard enemy, his mother’s ex-best friend, and worst of all the man who had killed his parents. Rather than treating his placement as an obstacle, however, Harry shrugged it off: he’d already been sort of held at arm’s length all the time back in Muggle school because of his magic, so being treated with suspicion was something he was used to. At least here he could actually do magic without being shunned for it! Instead he merely stayed true to himself, casually shrugging off his house’s negative reputation and falling back on his usual level of sass when he was down. His good humor, determination, courage, and noble heart resulted in him making many friends, including Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Theodore Nott, and Millicent Bulstrode. Even Draco Malfoy, who Harry still disliked immensely, eventually became a bizarre frienemy, not just because of their shared house and them being on the same Quidditch team, but also the faint similarities Harry noted between Draco and his cousin Dudley. Snape would still resent Harry quite a bit, but in Harry’s later years, Petunia would finally open up a bit to Harry about Lily’s and her past, and he’d learn from her about Snape’s connection to Lily. After she opened up, Harry rather kindly opened up about his experiences with Snape at school, and upon hearing about Snape’s bullying, Petunia went full-on Mama Bear and wrote Snape ten very long, mean letters, including one very loud Howler that Dudley helped her figure out how to use, which arrived in the Great Hall in Harry’s sixth year and screamed at Snape about how ashamed Lily would’ve been of him. Harry was very embarrassed about the whole episode, even if he felt some faint schadenfreude at how beside himself Snape looked. The flood of letters did temper Snape somewhat, however, and made him treat Harry with nothing but distant silence for the rest of the school year.

AU Ask!

[yasbartulic-blog]

Why Should We Give Importance To Timely Eating

Our numbers are developing. From an existing populace of seven. 7 billion human beings, we're regularly looking an estimate of 9 billion via the 12 months 2050. As our numbers preserve growing, so does the call for for food and shelter. But the available land on our planet is confined. On the contrary, as the demand for shelter increases, increasingly agricultural land is encroached on to provide food which either increases the stress to boom productivity or to clear forests and other inexperienced covers to get more land for agriculture – neither of which are within the great of pursuits for our environment. We've got come a long manner within the past few a long time to fulfill the food demands of this big population. However it's time to pause for a minute and consider what sort of food we're eating. Our food nowadays has more energy and less nutrients. Carbohydrates are our primary supply of energy as it's miles cheap, easily available, and an immediately supply of power; cereals make up greater than half of of the total populace in the world. Similarly, we eat a variety of processed and extremely-processed meals, that calls for minimum or no cooking and may be very clean at the pocket. Meat has emerge as extra available and extra accessible; as greater human beings boom extra intake, the ecological footprint they go away behind is brilliant and is seriously unsustainable. Food pyramid vs. Environmental pyramid

how will we realize that the meals we eat is not nutritious sufficient for us? The fao (food and agriculture business enterprise) describes this condition as the ‘triple burden of sickness’ in which there's a trend of rising inside the number of underweight human beings as well as numerous overweight people inside the international, neither of which is nutritionally complete. A 3rd institution exists where people who appear reputedly healthy be afflicted by lack of micronutrients essential for the frame’s metabolism – this is termed as ‘hidden hunger.’ this weight-reduction plan is characterised with the aid of a better intake of animal proteins, processed and extremely-processed meals, unhealthy hydrogenated fat, and very little fiber have led to growing obesity which has, in flip, brought about the growth in the incidents of deaths because of non-communicable diseases (ncds). Advocated analyzing for you! Motives to shift to smooth coconut from gentle drinks

10 motives to shift to tender coconuts from soft beverages!

we have a duty – to ourselves, to our fellow citizens on the planet and to the planet itself. Our duty is to devour a nutritious weight loss plan, prevent wastage, and to eat sustainably. Little behavioral modifications in what we eat and the way we devour goes a protracted manner in reducing the ecological footprint that the ingredients we use to go away at the back of from the factor they are produced to the factor they become in waste. Researchers and academics around the sector have moved from the concept of from ‘farm to fork’ to ‘farm to flush’ and it is time we see how we are able to do our bit. To cope with this global challenge, fao, within the year 2010, together with biodiversity worldwide accentuated the importance of “sustainable diets” which they defined as:

diets with low environmental influences which make contributions to meals and vitamins protection and healthful existence for gift and destiny generations. Sustainable diets are shielding and respectful of biodiversity and ecosystems, culturally applicable, available, economically honest and cheap; nutritionally ok, safe, and wholesome; while optimizing herbal and human assets.

sustainable diets can cope with the intake of foods with lower water and carbon footprints, sell the use of meals biodiversity, such as conventional and nearby meals, with their many nutritionally rich species and varieties. The barilla centre for meals and vitamins came up with a double version termed as “the double food and environmental pyramid” that is a illustration that arranges very additives of food in a hierarchy based on their contribution to vitamins in addition to their environmental effect. A proposed diet by using american physiologist ancel keys confirmed a population that ate a balanced array of natural meals wealthy in olive oil (monounsaturated fat), loved extra toughness. He termed this because the ‘mediterranean weight-reduction plan.’

the double food and environmental pyramid

the double food and environmental pyramid barilla centre for food and nutrientsphotograph credit: barilla centre for meals and nutrientsthis design, whilst based totally on a mediterranean weight-reduction plan, offers a basis for the sort of intake that may be tailored to various cuisines. The lowest and maximum important is culmination and greens. Eat the ‘colouries’ and now not calories. These provide all of the vital macro and micronutrients inside the frame. In addition they have the least ecological footprint. Subsequent at the ladder are our grains, that are an critical source of strength. Plant proteins inside the shape of legumes are endorsed subsequent along with wholesome oils with more emphasis being on olive oil. An equal monounsaturated oil that the indian weight-reduction plan accommodates of is the mustard oil. Animal resources of meals are the least advocated because of their first rate environmental effect in evaluation to the vitamins that they offer. Livestock produces 7. 1 gigatons of the entire 11. 76 gigatons of carbon dioxide emissions from the agricultural region. All this research suggests to us that the sort of weight loss plan we devour has a full-size impact at the environment. Take a moment and believe the ability discount in an environmental footprint that one should acquire by way of just enhancing eating conduct. The outcomes of the analysis of the double pyramid suggest to us that through far a vegan weight-reduction plan has the lowest environmental effect with lacto and lacto-ovo types of vegetarianism following respectively. In cultures wherein it's miles hard to entirely take away meat from the diet, proscribing the consumption to two days per week also can moderately help people reduce their environmental impact generated by using meals intake through up to one thirds. The earth isn’t loss of life, however we're going to if we do no longer act rapid enough to gradual down the negative anthropological impact at the environment or devour diets that do us greater harm than correct. A sustainable weight-reduction plan goes an extended manner in increasing longevity- by using reducing health risks and saving our environment. 1 ruini, l. F., ciati, r., pratesi, c. A., marino, m., principato, l., & vannuzzi, e.. Working in the direction of wholesome and sustainable diets: the “double pyramid version” evolved via the barilla middle for meals and nutrients to elevate awareness approximately the environmental and dietary effect of ingredients. Frontiers in nutrients, 2, 9.

[thyroidrescue-blog]

Eating the Right Diet With a Thyroid Problem

Proper vitamins is so essential for residing a wholesome lifestyles. Eating right can thrust back many of latest maximum debilitating diseases. "You are what you eat," is more than just an vintage saying. It is the fundamental reality at the back of health and nutrition.

A diet excessive in sugar and delicate foods will finally come again to hang-out you in some way. To have a healthy frame and to help your thyroid and your emotional country, you need to eat a healthy diet. These foods are concept to be terrible for thyroid fitness: cabbage, cauliflower, spinach, kale, soy and broccoli. So it could be sensible to avoid them if you have thyroid disease. In addition, these meals have to be averted or used in moderation: sugar, delicate meals, wheat, alcohol, caffeine, and dairy products.

Try to eat a weight loss plan that is filled with plenty of high fiber foods that are low in energy. Select foods which might be low on the glycemic index. Eat healthy meals with a purpose to offer you with lots of electricity and avoid empty calories. Coincidentally, the Zone Diet by using Dr. Barry Sears advocates following these dietary principals as well. The Zone Diet was not developed to deal with hypothyroidism but it appears as if it might be beneficial.

Even when you have a very sluggish metabolism because of hypothyroidism, by using closely following the Zone Diet, you may locate that you could subsequently begin to shed those unwanted pounds. You do not have to worry approximately the Zone Diet being an unhealthy fad diet either since it permits you to consume a healthy diet and devour it in portions that fulfill your starvation. This way of consuming is extra about retaining wholesome hormone levels in preference to controlling calories.

The Zone Diet does restrict your carbohydrates, as a minimum from subtle foods. The purpose that is effective for humans with thyroid disorder is due to the fact your body is pretty slow with regards to processing carbohydrates which is why they get saved for your frame as fats. By keeping your insulin levels steady all through the day, this allows your body to go to work and smash down the complicated carbohydrates which you are allowed to consume which prevents those from being stored as fat also.

Thyroid sickness additionally places quite a few intellectual and bodily pressure on your body which reasons your cortisol ranges to upward thrust. Cortisol has an effect upon insulin which similarly consequences your weight and metabolism. The Zone Diet works to keep your cortisol tiers steady which can alleviate some of the bodily pressure to your gadget. When your insulin degrees are chronically out of variety, your frame will become insulin resistant. Insulin resistance and too lots cortisol for your body set the stage for persistent health situations like Type II diabetes and thyroid disease.

Begin to view your meals as remedy as opposed to something you eat for delight or to quiet your hunger. Consider what impact the food can have in your body.

Avoid something so that it will provide you with a sugar rush and sign your pancreas for a corresponding spike of insulin. Eat healthful whole foods as a way to nourish your body and no longer placed extra strain upon your overworked machine. emotional properly being.

https://www.rockthepitmagazine.com/thyroid-rescue-911-review

[vickijones]

Complete Guide to Weight Loss

From a glance, weight loss is simple. Eat less and move more. But it’s actually a lot more complex than that. First of all, I would like to say that weight loss is 70% diet and 30% exercise. You can work out for 60 minutes each day, but if you still eat like shit, you will not lose weight. On the other hand, if you don’t exercise at all and eat less, you will lose weight. But to maximize the full potential of your weight loss, and to gain health, fitness, and self confidence, you should incorporate both. Think of it as a lifestyle change. This isn’t some 3-month crash diet so you can fit into the dress for prom, only to regain the weight in a matter of weeks. You want to create healthy habits you can have for LIFE.

I’m not going to lie: weight loss is hard. It’s probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in your life. Which is why if you have a set-back, you have to keep on pushing. You’ll laugh, cry, and will want to give up at times, but I guarantee end result will be worth all the effort.

Setting realistic goals Calories Diet Healthy foods list Exercise Bingeing Staying motivated Weighing yourself Plateau Targeting fat loss Why do it the healthy way? Anything else?

Setting realistic goals You are way more likely to succeed in weight loss if you set realistic goals. A perfectly healthy rate of weight loss is 1-3 pounds a week. The heavier you are when you begin, the more weight you’ll lose. Anything more than 3 pounds a week without medical supervision means that you are probably losing muscle mass as well. So no, losing 50 pounds in a month is probably not an attainable goal. Instead of thinking “Oh my god I have to lose 30 pounds in 4 months how am I ever going to start!”, divide up your goal into mini ones. Aim for 5-10 pounds a month, and soon it will seem less daunting. Make sure your ultimate goal weight is also something that you body can reach. For example, if you’re 5'8’’ with a large frame, you’ll probably never be 100 pounds unless you resort to unhealthy methods. Your health is more important than how thin you are!

Calories One pound of fat is 3500 calories. You can eat a certain amount of calories a day without gaining any weight, and this is called the recommended daily intake. Use this to calculate your RDI (it’s the maintenance one). To lose weight, you have to create a calorie deficit. Let’s say your RDI is 2000 calories a day. If you eat 500 calories less per day, that adds up to 3500 calories less in the whole entire week, which means one pound of weight loss! If you consume 1000 calories less a day (which I don’t recommend unless your RDI is 2200+), that means 7000-calorie deficit throughout the week, which equates to 2 pounds lost. Depending on your current weight and exercise level, you should aim to eat around 250-750 calories below your RDI each day. Never eat below 1000-1200 calories because you won’t be getting the adequate nutrition that you need, you’ll lose your energy, and your metabolism will start slowing down. You can burn calories from exercise too! I’ll go more into that later. On days where you exercise, eat slightly more to replenish the energy you lose from exercise. Should you count calories while losing weight? That’s a question I get a lot. I used to count calories religiously, but I found that it didn’t work for me. Try counting calories for 2 weeks. If it’s something you like, continue with it. If you don’t like it, stop. This way you will know what a 1200, 1500, or 1800 (etc.) calorie day looks like. This site is great for figuring out how much weight you’ll lose depending on your starting weight, exercise, and caloric intake. It’s pretty accurate. Myfitnesspal is a great site if you want to count calories. It has every single food imaginable and a lot of exercises. It’s also an app! It calculates how many calories you need to eat and how much you need to burn from exercise to reach your goal weight. It’s customized to your height, age, gender, and weight.

Diet The following are some great tips I found while I was losing weight. You can use as many as you like. The bolded ones are the most important 1. Cut out junk/processed food as much as you can. 2. Drink 8 cups of water a day. Water flushes out toxins and keeps you full. 3. No liquid calories! Or cut them down as much as possible. They add up so much without being filling. Water and tea are your new best friends. 4. Eat in moderation. If you want that cookie, have ONE and be done with it. If you eliminate all your favorite foods, you will be more likely to lose self-control and binge. 5. Are you at a restaurant and don’t know how to eat healthy? Here are some good tips. 6. Whole grains instead of white/enriched grains. Why? Because they don’t have the fibre and nutrients completely stripped from them. Fibre fills you up a lot! 7. Eat LOTS of fruits and vegetables. They are full of nutrition and very calorie light. 8. Eat protein. Protein is the most filling of all the macronutrients (carbs, fat, protein). Good sources of protein are chicken, turkey, beef, fish, eggs, legumes, and nuts. Google for more! 9. Eat slowly. It takes several minutes for the feeling of being full to reach your brain. 10. DO NOT EAT IF YOU’RE NOT HUNGRY. Do not ever feel like you’re obligated to eat anything. 11. Use a smaller plate. It gives the illusion that you’re eating more food. 12. Measure out what you’re eating. You don’t have to do it every single time you eat something, but do it once so you have an idea of what a serving size actually is. For example, chances are you’re pouring more than a recommended serving of one cup of cereal. 13. Limit, if not eliminate all “extras” like butter, mayonnaise, ketchup, dressing, added sugar, added oil, etc. 14. Eat breakfast! There have been so many studies done that show that people who eat breakfast lose more weight. It kickstarts your metabolism for the day and you’re less likely to binge later. 15. Don’t eat mindlessly while watching the TV, on the computer, or doing other activity. Be very aware of what you eat. 16. Keep a food journal so you can be accountable. 17. Don’t eat out of a bottomless bag. Scoop one serving into a bowl and eat from that. 18. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T STARVE YOURSELF. Your body will not live on 200 calories a day just because you told it to. There are so many adverse psychological and physical effects of starvation. You will be more likely to be depressed, get an eating disorder,  lose your health, and develop unhealthy habits for the rest of your life. Your body needs energy (food) to survive. Don’t think of food as something you need to eliminate. Food is just food. It’s not your friend, nor is it your enemy.

Healthy Food List Whole grains- bread, pasta, tortillas, wraps, oatmeal Meat- skinless chicken and turkey, fish, lean beef, shrimp, seafood, eggs Vegetables- every single vegetable. I especially like spinach, lettuce, broccoli, asparagus, cucumber, squash, celery, legumes, nuts (in moderation because they’re high calorie despite their nutritional benefits) and sweet potatoes Fruits- every single fruit. I especially like bananas, apples, strawberries, tomatoes, peppers, raspberries, watermelon, and peaches. Dairy – skim milk, light cheese, yogurt Fat - Nuts, tuna, avocado

Exercise It is best to exercise at least 4 times a week for at least 30 minutes each time to lose weight. Cardio exercise is what burns fat (anything that gets your heart rate up) and burns calories. That’s where you can subtract calories from your daily intake. Here’s a calories burned calculator. The most effective cardio workouts are running, biking, dancing, and swimming (just to name a few). Aim for at least 15 minutes of cardio each time you work out. You should also do some strength training. This can be lifting weights, doing crunches, lunges, squats, pushups, bicep curls… (google for more workouts). Though they burn less calories, they do build muscle. This is important because one pound of muscle takes up less space than one pound of fat, giving the illusion of even more weight loss! Plus muscle burns more calories than fat when you’re sitting still. And muscles will eliminate the skinny-flabby look. People who exercise burn more calories simply existing than people who don’t. In essence, working out burns calories, which increases your standing metabolism, burning more calories! SO GET OFF YOUR BUM AND MOVE. If you have time to tumblr you have time to work out! Remember the times I give are the bare MINIMUM. What I find most effective is 30+ minutes of cardio and 30+ minutes of strength training in one workout, 5 times a week.

Bingeing So you’ve just binged. What now? First you have to accept that what’s in the past is done. You ate the extra food and now you feel guilty. Let go of the guilt! There is no point in worrying about things you can’t change. 1. Do not purge. This creates a terrible cycle of bingeing/purging and can lead to an eating disorder. Purging is also extremely unhealthy towards your body, causing stomach ulcers, tooth decay, esophagus problems, and a lot more. 2. Do not starve yourself. This also creates a cycle of bingeing/starvation. Remember, just because you eat significantly less the next day does not make it “okay” for you to binge! 3. Eat as healthy as you can. Your body will be in need of nutrients after you binge on unhealthy food. Consume fruits and vegetables because they won’t bloat you as much as carbs. Resume your regular eating pattern! 4. Exercise the next day. You don’t need to overdo it with exercise either, just do some cardio to speed your metabolism up. (Nothing too extreme, remember resume your regular lifestyle) 5. After a binge you can gain anywhere from 1lb-10lbs. Most of this is probably just water weight! Carbs and salty foods make your body retain a lot of water. One pound of fat is 3500 calories, and unless you ate 5000+ calories the day before, you didn’t actually gain a pound! 6. Drink water. As odd as it seems, the more water you drink, the more water weight you’ll lose. 7. Recognize why you binged. Was it because you were sad? Stressed? Bored? Socializing? Once you start identifying these factors you can go towards solving the root problem of the binge. 8. Forgive yourself. Recognize that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you’re just human. Will one binge really matter in the scope of things? No. As long as you don’t make bingeing a habit, the weight will come off in no time. How to avoid binges   1. Eat enough on a day to day basis. Make sure you’re not restricting your calories too much. Your body will start thinking that it’s in a period of starvation and will do ANYTHING it can to get extra food. 2. Don’t cut off entire food groups/your favourite foods completely. The more forbidden something is, the more you’ll crave it. 3. This goes hand in hand with the previous rule. If you crave a piece of chocolate, have it! A lot of times people will think, “Oh I really want chocolate. But that’ll ruin my diet! So I’ll just have a healthy granola bar… wow I’m still not satisfied. Maybe I’ll have another granola bar. But it’s not sweet enough! I think I’ll have some cereal with that too. And some milk. And some more sugary cereal.” And before they know it, they’ll have consumed MUCH more than if they had just had the piece of chocolate in the first place and squashed that craving! And most people end up having the food they craved by the end of their binge anyway. 4. Avoid emotions that trigger your binge. Call a friend, go for a walk, have a bath… do something that occupies your mind when you feel like bingeing!

Staying Motivated Sometimes you’ll want to skip a workout or you’ll want to eat a whole entire pizza. Weight loss is hard. Whenever I lost motivation, I thought of all the reasons why I wanted to lose weight. Create your own list of reasons why you’d like to lose weight and remind yourself of them often. When you’re about to veer off track, just think of how absolutely healthy, slim, fit, and awesome you’ll be once you reach your ultimate goal weight. (Note: these reasons should be motivated by something within yourself like to get healthier, not to impress your friends. It’s much easier to lose motivation when you’re losing weight to prove something to someone else instead of finding happiness for yourself). Also, awarding yourself for reaching mini-goals is another great way of motivation (clothes, photoshoot, trip, concert, etc). Have a support group. Studies have shown that people who lose weight with others are more successful than people who don’t. If your family and friends aren’t supportive of your weight loss, that’s where tumblr comes in! You can also join a fitness class (yoga, dance, swimming, karate, wall climbing… what have you ALWAYS wanted to do?) so you have to work out. If you have some extra cash, invest in a gym membership as well. Or maybe even get a personal trainer? Don’t give up if you screw up: you will regret it. A slip up is minor in the whole picture of things. Of course there’s going to be failure, but you have to get back up and keep fighting. It’s hard, but the end effort IS worth it. Years from now, will you be healthy and slim or will you have given up and fallen back into your old unhealthy ways? It’s your choice.

Weighing Yourself It’s best to weigh yourself once a week, but once a day is okay too. Seriously, don’t weigh yourself once every few hours. Weight fluctuations of up to 10lbs throughout the day/week are very normal! Your weight will fluctuate due to your period, water retention from excess carbs/salt, last time you ate, time of day, last time you pooped/peed, being sick, exercise, muscle gain, and so many other factors. You’re less likely to lose motivation when you focus on the overall trend in weight loss, not the individual weigh ins.

Plateau Hitting a plateau sucks. It happens to almost everyone when they lose weight. To combat/avoid it, you have to keep your exercise and diet varied. If you get good at one exercise, your body begins to adapt to it and you no longer burn as many calories. Try lengthening the time of your workouts or the intensity of them. Or try a new exercise altogether! For food, you can try calorie cycling, which is basically where you eat different amounts of calories a day, but the weekly average is still the same. It’s supposed to trick your body’s metabolism. I’ve never tried it so I can’t attest to its usefulness but it’s worked for other people. Also try eating new foods! And varying the amount of food you have for breakfast/lunch/dinner. Jillian Michaels (who is a fabulous fitness guru, if you haven’t heard of her) advises for people to increase the calories they’re eating and take rest from working out for a few days to break plateaus. This reminds tells the body “Oh hey you’re not actually starving so you can lose some fat!” I know it sounds counterintuitive but that’s how I broke through my plateau. It’s worked for a lot of other people too. You may also be at a point where your body no longer wants to lose weight and it’s doing all it can to keep onto the necessary fat. Yes, fat is necessary for your survival. Keep your goals realistic. You may also be eating too much. 1700 calories a day may have made you lose weight when you were 200 pounds, but it won’t create a big deficit when you’re at 130 pounds. Try eating a bit less, but don’t starve yourself. Make sure you’re not sneaking calories in by adding extra pats of butter, too much salad dressing, underestimating portion sizes, etc.

Targeting Fat Loss It is impossible to target fat loss. You can’t decide to lose weight only from your stomach. It is your genetics that determines where the weight comes off first. A combination of cardio and healthy eating will lead to overall fat loss. Strength training will tone the area up though, making it tighter!

Why do it the healthy way? The healthy way is slow, hard, and painful. You could always just starve yourself and get the same results faster. But you know what? If you lose weight that way, you risk losing your physical and psychological health, self-confidence, relationships, and happiness too. Love your body, treat it right, and the weight will come off. It’s as simple as that.

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