#if it quacks like a predator

[shoezuki]

"im not saying theyre a predator" i am. its a sex crime

the idea that 'well they didnt do it maliciously/it wasn't intended as a grooming tactic' is frankly useless. saying they didnt MEAN to share sexual content with minors and where minors are present doesnt mean they didnt fucking do it.

like they ARE creepy and gross and how theyd interact with the teenage members of the server is what an 'actual' predator would do. if we gotta say 'dream isnt technically a predator despite this' then theres clearly something so fucked up in how he acted with tubbo and tommy when they were younger.

[dilatorywriting]

59 Leona, it'd take a lot for him to admit but he would say it eventually. (Also I know you'd recognize me but I'm shy, so anon it is)

Gender Neutral Reader x Leona Kingscholar Word Count: 1.5k

Prompt 59: "People like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you, I think fate was being harsh on you."

[EVENT MASTERLIST]

You are nice, and you are stupid. And those things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Sometimes you’re nice because you’re stupid, and sometimes you do stupid things because you’re too nice for your own stupid, stupid good. And it drives Leona half insane.

Which it shouldn’t, because nice, stupid people like you are just as annoying as his brother. Goody-two-shoes with buttoned vests and sparkly, star-shaped stickers on their term papers.

“Did you remember your homework?”

Leona flicked his tail in your face and you scrunched your nose over your notebook.

“Well?”

“Of course I remembered,” he scoffed, lazing back against the roots of one of his favorite trees. This spot used to be so much quieter, so much more peaceful, before you decided to trail after him like a duck quacking for its mother.

“Did you do the homework?” you clarified, and Leona rolled his eyes.

You sighed and starting ruffling around in your bookbag. “I brought a spare copy of the worksheet. You’re going to drive Ruggie insane, y’know. If he winds up stuck with you for another year because you failed for not turning in assignments.”

“Yeah. Sure. Another three-hundred-and-sixty-five days to rifle through my wallet. Worst news of his life.”

You huffed good naturedly and handed him the sheet of crisp, white copy paper and a pen. “Get to work, Kingscholar.”

“Oh?” he drawled, closing his eyes and settling back, loose limbed and all long, lean leisure, against the tree trunk. Clearly ready for an afternoon snooze. “Make me.”

You sighed again and reached over to flick your own well-used pen against his ear. It twitched under your fingers—soft, and tufted. The finest of the pale, tan fur brushing up against your fingertips. “Fine. Be that way. See if I bring you lunch tomorrow.”

“You will,” he scoffed.

“Yeah,” you sighed, sounding resigned and foolishly fond. “I probably will.”

See? Stupid. So easy to manipulate. So willing to let yourself be squashed under his clawed thumb. It was a wonder you’d managed to survive in this school at all. Nevertheless by clinging onto the coattails of someone like him. He’d never made anyone’s existence easier a day in his life, and he certainly wasn’t going to start now, just because you were too soft-hearted and slow to see a looming predator for what it was.

“Just give me that stupid fucking paper,” he snapped, sitting upright and swatting away your poking pen with a sneer. You laughed into your palms like a secret—bright, and merry, and dumb as a fucking rock.

“Whatever you say, Leona.”

.

.

You’d handled his Overblot with a strange sort of aplomb that at first Leona had attributed to perhaps a lingering, hidden confidence that he’d just never bothered to unearth. You were just some herbivore, and even the littlest rabbits could bite back when you put them in a corner. But then he’d come to the decision that that easy conviction was just another symptom of your rampant stupidity.

“I know you guys don’t want to hurt me, or any of us. Not really,” you shrugged around a wad of cotton—the blood dripping from your nose slowly drying up to a tacky, sticky dribble. Leona gaped at you outright.

That was your grand explanation. For why you’d been so eager to charge forward when he’d collapsed in a pool of inky nightmares and self-loathing. And the very same reason apparently thatyou’d felt so comfortable rushing forward to treat Azul Ashengrotto’s blubbering, hysterical, breakdown with the same urgency.

“That octo-prick would have ripped you in half,” he sneered, fingers twitching a nervous rhythm against his palms as he watched the nurse wrap another layer or bandages around your head.

You shrugged. “Not on purpose.”

You were going to give him an aneurism.

“You’re going to get yourself killed,” he snarled, ignoring the horrible, twisty thing curling like bile through his chest. “And I’m not going to bother paying for some self-sacrificing idiot’s funeral.”

Another shrug.

“That’s alright,” you hummed, a soft sort of crooked smile on your mouth. “Would’ve been a waste of money anyways.”

Leona didn’t talk to you for a week after that. Surely because your stupidity had reached such a fever pitch that it was no doubt contagious, and he needed to protect his far superior and more valuable brain. Not because the image of you smiling and nodding along to his declarations that he wouldn’t put the effort into mourning your death had soured something so deep in his gut that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to scrape it out.

.

.

When he received a letter from home asking him to return for some shitty coronation nonsense for his equally shitty brother, Leona had debated just skipping it outright. Who was going to stop him? You?

Well. Yes, apparently.

“It sounds important,” you hummed, peering over his shoulder at the neat, formal scrawl of the summons. “You should go.”

He snorted. “I don’t want to be there, they don’t want me to be there. What’s the point.”

You frowned, brow crinkling in the middle.

“Well, that’s not true,” you said, perplexed. “They wouldn’t write to you if that was the case.”

Leona snorted, eyes darting away to glare bitterly off into the corner. “Not like they have a choice.”

“Well then you don’t have a choice either,” you argued, firm. “I’ll go with you. See? It says you can have a plus one. You can camp out in your fancy, princey, bedroom. And I can siphon you snacks from the fancy, princey hors d'oeuvres tables. That way we both win. You get to be a reclusive asshole and rub the fact that that you still went in everyone’s faces, and I can get access to some tasty, royal food that I’ll probably never be able to afford again for the rest of my life.”

“Should’ve known you’d be like Ruggie—only using me for the free food,” he sighed, melodramatic and obviously put on.

“Well, also because I thought you could use the emotional support,” you added, a touch too soft and far too genuine. “But I didn’t think you wanted to hear that bit.”

“You’re right,” he scoffed, turning onto his side to hide the strange, miserable heat pricking at his skin. “Don’t ever say corny shit like that again.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” you grinned, flicking at his ear, and Leona added another mental tab to his never-ending list of reasons that you were really far too brainless to keep functioning at all.

.

.

You were nice, and you were stupid. And Seven, he wanted to be anywhere but here.

“My brother hasn’t ever brought someone to one of these events before,” Falena had said, to your face. Idiot to idiot communication.  

“I didn’t give him much of an option,” you’d chirped, perfectly pleasant. “I don’t think he wants me anywhere near here, to be fair. Or around him in general. But I’m like a cockroach. Can’t get rid of me.”

And Falena had laughed. Because he was terrible. And said, “I’m sure he must care about you very much, little cockroach.”

And then because you were more terrible, you laughed back and said very assuredly, “Oh, not at all.”

Which was—was—

“Do you really think that?” he snapped, once the two of you were alone. And you blinked back at him with wide, owlish eyes.

“Think what?”

Think at all,he wanted to sneer, but just glared silently and bitterly into the middle distance—fighting the nonsensical, irritated swishing of his tail.

But you just kept staring at him. Like he was the moron here. Which was unacceptable.

“Look,” he frowned, sharp and miserable. “I get it. People like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you. Whatever gods exist out there were playing a shitty fucking joke on you when they dropped you in my lap. But you’re stuck with me. So stop—” he bit out, fighting that awful, twisty thing in his gut that never seemed to fully go away. “Stop talking like I can’t stand you.”

“…oh,” you mumbled, whisper quiet—that wide, startled gaze flicking away in embarrassment. “Oh.”

“Oh,” he echoed, sharp, and you snorted a laugh that seemed to surprise even you.

“You’re stuck with me too then, y’know,” you said after a long moment. “Even when I make you grumpy.”

“You don’t make me grumpy. I am grumpy. You make me—” he cut off quick, eyes darting away petulantly and an absolutely unfair heat rising along his cheekbones.  

“Itchy,” you piped in, and he gaped at you in shock.

“What?”

“You know,” you shrugged, awkward, and reached up to wiggle your fingers. “Cockroach. Many legs. Squirming. Itchy.”

“Never say any of those words again.”

You laughed into your palm—inelegant and a touch too loud. Leona felt his lips quirk.

“Thank you,” you said after a moment, once your giggles were a bit more under control. And leaned forward quick as a whip to press a nervous peck against his cheek. “For being kind to me.”

Kind.

Leona reached up to press a hand against the too-warm skin with a terrible, unfamiliar sensation in his head not unlike the fuzzy, white drone of TV static. And a horrible thought managed to filter its way through the floating, buzzing sensation curling through the whole of him.

Oh, fuck. It is contagious.

.

.

[homunculus-argument]

I wanted to wonder, how did they figure out that big cats are cats? Who looked at a big-ass apex predator with a distinct snout and that growls and roars and decided that this is the same type of animal as your flat-faced little baby-sized pest control unit who makes baby noises when she wants people food?

But then I recall how many pics and videos I have seen of lions laying down in big-ass cuddle piles, zoo tigers climbing into a cardboard box because fuck yeah there's a box, a cheetah purring like kitties do, and hell, even a hyena sitting in a perfectly composed cat loaf.

Animal classification is far more sophisticated than "if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck", but I suppose it's perfectly sensible to conclude that this monstrous beast that could and occasionally even would kill and eat a man is a cat, once you've observed it engage in unmistakable cat shenanigans.

[sleeplesssmol]

I want ducks in my Wilderness.

A duck pond with waddlers and baby quacks.

Hear me out!

Ducks lay eggs like chickens except their eggs are richer and really elevate your baking. This could be a source of nourishment and they can help with pest control among the bigger plants.

Where do they come from? Maybe they followed Vertin home because she keeps feeding them or she finds some abandoned ducklings. Vertin was the runt, the weak little duckling among her fellow arcanists and she's familiar with being left behind.

Maybe she rescues a mommy duck and her babies after the mommy is hurt and now they live free form predators in the Wilderness. I can see it.

Or go a wild route because this is Reverse 1999. The team steals a magic duck like some kind of Greek fable! The duck lays golden eggs and we get random items from it! Sharpadonties, low-tier level up item, etc from the eggs. Or what if you eat the gold egg and replenish some cellular activity? Not a crazy amount, but a nice little treat.

[the-morningstar-family]

Well, sounds like things are about to get bloody

The entertainment district is a mess, as are the Vees. Velvetts hair is a mess, her leg thoroughly sliced and her left arm swollen beyond usage. Valentino isn't fairing much better. The lower pair of arms hang uselessly, where his nose would be is bleeding and his cold tooth lies on the ground. Vox’ screen is cracked, making his face appear disjointed, one of his claws is broken and he's leaning against the wall. Alastor has a few cuts and bruises here and there, but with the new surge of power, he feels lively as ever.

Alastor: “ł ₩ł₦!”

He says with a dirty smirk. The Vees are cornered, they still stand tall trying to look dangerous, like wounded animals facing a predator.

The tension is interrupted by a quacking ringtone. The radio demon makes an annoyed face as he shrinks down and fishes Lucifers phone put of his pocket. Holding it with two fingers, as if the treacherous device might attrack.

Vox: “Wha- since when do you use phones?”

Alastor stares at it trying to figure out what to do with it to answer the call.

Velvet: “Ugh, what a fossil. Press the green button!”

Though annoyed, Alastor does so, then tentatively holds it to his ear.

Alastor: “Hello?”

Lucifer: “You're okay!”

Alastor: “And why wouldn't I be?”

The Vees stare at eachother, can you believe this guy?

Vox: “Uh, weren't we -”

Alastor: “Shush. Don't interrupt, it's rude!”

He scolds Vox as if he was a child. The TV-head doesn't exactly disprove the theory, as he scowls and crosses his arms as if he might throw a tantrum.

Lucifer: “Your tracking signal went off and then there's explosions in the entertainment district! Of course I get worried!”

Alastor, chuckling: “Oh I am quite all right, and I'd hazard to guess that it is safe for you to make an appearance!”

Lucifer: “Be right there!”

Vox: “No! wait -!”

But before he can talk himself out of the shit he caused, Lucifer has already portaled himself there. Both Valentino and Velvett glare at Vox for his stupid idea. The angry king steps closer to him.

Vox: “Now now! We wouldn't - you wouldn't like to escalate things right? What - what about the child and the angel?”

Alastor smirks, sensing his change, holding his partner back.

Alastor: “Now we aren't uncivilised, are we? You wanted to negotiate, Vox? Then let's start”

Vox: “You won't destroy anything else here now, and we give you them! Easy deal right? Common! Shake on it!”

Alastor gives an overly thoughtful hum. Playfully tapping his chin.

Alastor: “Oh, but tomorrow I could feel right back angry, couldn't I? Oh, and Lucifer as well isn't that right dear?”

Lucifer: “Yeah! I'd love to take of some steam”

The king has no idea where the demon is going with this, but he has full faith that Alastor thought this through.

Velvett: “Then what do ya want?”

Alastor, grinning: “We will not return, and won't make any more damage to you or your silly projects. As long as you leave us and the hotel residents alone. That includes Nova, Ceres-”

Vox: “Yes- yes fine you'll get them back-”

Alastor: “And also Angel Dust”

Valentino suddenly grows angry at that.

Valentino: “No way! He is under my contract. He works a d belongs to me!”

Alastor: “Such a shame… well, looks like we'll have to continue ‘looking’ for our charges alone-”

Alastor and Lucifer gear up for more destruction, as Velvett and Vox pull their partner back to give them a stern talking to.

Vox: “Fine! You have a deal!”

Alastor, voice full of static: “ⱠØVɆⱠɎ”

They shake on it, and a turkoise shine engulfs the entire space.

Meanwhile

Charlie, tentively: “Are you feeling better Angel?”

Angel: “Yeah, sorry for the fuss. Had worse, dontcha worry. Val will be pissed off tomorrow anyway and-”

Charlie: ”Angel?”

Angel stops, freezing. The chain around his neck rears it's ugly head. And for a second he's incredibly frightened. Not just for himself, but whatever the fuck is happening with the Vees.

And then it breaks.

[verycharismaticdragon]

On Air Island - chapter 1 - part 3

[prev] - [story so far] - [next]

In today's installment, we are unfortunately hitting one issue this game has, which is that the quality of translation sporadically drops in some branches. Now is a good time to remember that this is a Korean indie game with a developer team that fits into one single screen in the credits. Fortunately though ya boy Dragon has been handling mtl for ages and knows exactly how to make it yield actual result instead of garbled nonsense, so I added the translation to the video and the 'script 👍 Lemme know if this format works!

(the transcript is available below the poll, under keep reading)

Ah right: A.H.M, Shishinao, and Shirashinao are all~ Naoto's nicknames. I'm pretty sure that's also a translation thing, but it's way funnier like this? Let's give him a few more. Naonao~

Anyway,

Transcript legend:

In-game text

Character speaking: dialogue line

regular chat message Donation: donation message

available donation messages

{ Alternative translation }

———— ———— ————

Hanse: The result for the 1st day settlement is! Mr. Fact in the 1st place and Honari for 2nd place!

[player] donated 50 Small Heart: (Voice) Hanse, don't be discouraged!

[Hanse, don't be discouraged!]

Predator: Ugh. Kissme3: Ha, ha, ha.

Hanse: ……………!

hasebuck: Ha, ha, ha. 9nine: Look how surprised he is hanmanse: He looks so cute...

Hanse: Wow......! I was surprised that you were able to post a voice message......

bbongGGu: Seems like he didn't know it So_yool: Adorbs

Hanse: But somehow...... Is it my mood? I feel like all eyes are on me......

Mr.Fact: You almost freaked me out? Don't freak out, it's only just begun. { What, huh? You almost got discouraged~? It's only the beginning, so don't get discouraged, yeah? }

jimjman: What is it? Wannable: ;; VivaViva: Why is he like that

Hanse: Ugh, I'm sorry, Mr.Fact......

OnlyHim: Hanse's expression is hardening in real time boksunga: Be mindful Mr. Fact;

Mr.Fact: Oh, but~ I'll never get to the top. You can't take a shot at me. Okay? { Oh, but~ Quit dreaming of getting to the top. You're no match for me. Okay? }

OnlyHim: <Chat deleted by cleanbot>. ASHA: He's so fake NARICHAN: He just live by his name, Mr. Fact

Honari: But they say to dream big, right?

hansevly: ?! Perish: Oh…?

Honari: Even if you can't. { Even if you can’t achieve it. }

kimbab: Be careful Hanse! PunchHim: This is exciting, someone bring me some popcorn. FactOppa: (nom nom nom)

Mr.Fact: What? You're interrupting me?

island: Is that you? RealFact: If you're rich and popular, you're older than me.

Mr.Fact: You're thick as a board~ You're not afraid of the stares? { Honari, you're thick-skinned~ Are you not afraid of the viewers' gazes? }

Elvis: Suddenly? UglyFace: Are you going to drag Honari here?

Honari: What? I have no idea what you're talking about......

Snitch: ... Fearless: I feel sorry for Nari… hanse1se: Do dum;;

Hanse: Okay, wait......

DUMMY: Refrain yoursel Hanse. outnow: I will ** yoiu if you touch Hanse!

DUCKACOON: What's all the noise, quack? We'll keep going, quack!

Steward: Hey MyMaster: So boring CLAPCLAP: Thank God

Mr.Fact: I'm not even in first place. { Ugh, you’re not the first place, what do you know. }

doremipa: Woah that's crossing the line tho hansefan: Do you think 1st place can do everything?

Honari: … … … … …

Hanse: Ha... ... ... ... ...

kimbab: Eeek Imcrazy: Maybe this is how he treats lower ranks

DUCKACOON: A decent meal was prepared for the middle ranks quack.

lalala99: So-so Thief Jin: Just so-so BeSlave: Hahhhaha So-so

Naoto: Why on earth would you give it such an unappealing name?

rusure: I'm losing my appetite haahaha Rolling: Is it that harsh? Know_all donated 20 Ordinary Clover: Yep! Let me explain so, Shishinao is Naoto Know_all donated 15 Small Spade: Rumour said that he resigned from a broadcasting company and started his own broadcast

Naoto: I mean, it's not exactly broadcast quality...... We'll see. Tomorrow, we'll go to the top. { Anyway, considering the level of the broadcast… Just wait and see. Tomorrow, I will move up to the top. }

Perish: Fighting~ Flos: What? Crying? NARILOL: Anyone think the rank won't be changed? Angelic: 1111111 180x181: 222222222 Know_all donated 20 Touching Diamond: Moreover there is a rumour saying that he is son of a politician, it's interesting fight between the father and son!

Alice: It's too overwhelming for me......!

Carat: But I'm pretty sure Hanse won't be number one. Melody23: What a fact we got here

Alice: Above all............... You're holding my meal as hostage!

c'monya: There was a rumour that Alice is come from a conglomerat family. Know_all donated 5 Amazing Diamond: She is an influencer going by the name ALICE KingCry: It's not a rumour, it's a fact. Know_all donated 10 Amazing Diamond: I don't really remember but i think she start knitting for a hobby and got famous

Alice: That's just so evil---!

BeAKing: She is offended? Imfather: Oh my god. LoveCute: She'll get home by helicopter then Know_all donated 15 Small Clover: Honeslty, if she is the daughter of the S Company's president, they might have support her

Hanse: So.... Naoto is the 3rd place, Alice is in the 4th place. But the gap in vote results between them is quite significant.

Igiveu: I wonder if she's ever had a good meal. koncijeu: No wonder she's so annoyed.

Is A.H.M okay?

Wow, ALICE has such a nice voice.*sarcasm*

(Voice) Hanse, don't be discouraged!

[samkat10423]

It will soon be Easter and this needs to be said. My cousin posted this over on Facebook, and I promised to share it here. Please do NOT use living creatures as disposable "toys." They have feelings and deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

I euthanized your duck today….You know....the duckling you got for Easter to celebrate spring? Well, he barely made it into summer. You thought he was cute when he was little, but before he was fully an adult, you took him to a pond somewhere and dumped him where he had no one to make sure he got proper food, no one to put him up at night so he could be safe from predators, no one to keep him from harm.

So, 'harm' found him. There are many bad things that happen to domestic ducks that are dumped in ponds. I could list all those things and even show photos of the various conditions that I have seen as kind people rescued ducks like yours and brought them to me for care. But the good people who who properly care for all of their pets don't need to have those awful images in their heads. Having seen them all and having worked hard to save them, I cannot EVER get those images out of my head.

YOUR duck had many problems, including being bone thin. But he got wounds on his feet and the bacteria entered his young body and found a place to settle in the joint of his leg. The bacteria grew into a huge knot of infection that painfully ate away at the ligaments and tendons and then attacked both ends of the bones at that joint. The bone infection, which could have easily been corrected if you'd been there to watch over him, instead, grew unchecked and disintegrated the bones and began working out in both directions to the point that the leg swung freely at the joint. To walk, your duck stepped painfully on that leg anyway and the bottom part of the leg bent at odd angles from the site of the infection, looking as if it were broken.

Many people walked by your duck. Some noticed and kept on walking.

I took your duck to the vet where we did a series of xrays at my expense to see if there was any hope to save this duck. Your duck wasn't even old enough to quack properly. When he was afraid, he still peeped. It broke my heart to hear him peep. However, there was no reasonable way to save that leg. He was not even at his full adult weight and ducks can't hop around on just one leg. So I was not going to condemn him to further suffering and a lifetime of issues by just removing his bad leg, especially when there are not enough homes for the healthy ducks that people didn't want. So we set him free from his body that could not properly support him.

I held his head while the drugs made him sleepy. I kissed his head and apologized for all the bad things that had happened to him in his very short life. I was there when he took his last breath, when the pain and suffering finally left him forever. I was there......you were not. It should have been you seeing the effects of dumping him and walking away. His loss broke my heart. Did you even notice his loss in your life?

I promised as he slowly slipped away that I would not let his death go unnoticed.

I promised to share his story and perhaps change people’s minds of buying ducklings, chicks, and bunnies as temporary living toys for children. If someone wants a duck or chicken or rabbit and plans to keep it for its ENTIRE LIFE, then go ahead and get a duckling, chick, or bunny. And better yes, if you DO want an adult version of any of those, then adopt from a rescue. And DO expect to be thoroughly questioned as to your plans for caring for your new pet. But if you don't want an adult of those species, then don't buy the baby version.....because the little known fact is that baby things grow up into adult things.

Please join with me to share this message to anyone that you know who still gives temporary living toys to their children (or themselves)......NO EASTER PETS. They are not toys. They are living creatures. And dumping unwanted domestic ducks into public ponds where there will be no one to care for them is illegal in most areas and even so, it's morally wrong. I've tried for YEARS to get this message out in a nice, polite way. As I cried my pool of tears over this duck, I've come to realize that people aren't listening. So I'm going to be sharing more of these stories and their faces in the hopes that these messages start reaching the people who are making this whole 'Easter' industry of suffering continue. If people don't buy, then stores won't sell, then breeders won't breed, and the suffering stops. Please help me get the word out.

[cyber-patient-z]

click beetles have a lever like appendage between their heads and body that causes their body to fling upwards.

hawk moths can make squeaking noises by pushing air through their proboscis and butterflies' taste with their feet. atlas moths don't eat new food, they use stored babyfat from when they were caterpillars which causes their mouths to be deformed from evolution, so they only live a few weeks.

ladybugs are carnivores and their diet consists of aphids. and most aphids are born pregnant and reproduce through asexual reproduction. ladybugs are also called ladybirds and play dead to avoid predators.

I've done a few experiments with the ants, mostly figuring out what foods they prefer over others. strangely enough, they really like plain crackers.

bees can make little quacking noises and beeps, its adorable.

large groups of fireflies will sometimes flash in unison. and they don't classify as 'flies' they classify as beetles!

pill bugs, or isopods are actually a type of crustacean.

mantises are the only insect that can turn its head. they are also closely related to termites and cockroaches.

caterpillars only actually have 6 legs, the other "legs" are protrusions from its abdomen called prolegs. they also have more muscles than humans.

insects don't have lungs, they breathe through tiny pores in their bodies called spiracles.

leaf cutter ants can cut and bite through some types of fabric, and fungus gardens will grow in their nests. and ants swap spit to help each other live longer.

hornets' favorite prey are bees, and wasps can get drunk off of fermented fruit.

all bugs are insects but not all insects are bugs. insects are cold blooded and over 1/3 of the population of all insects are beetles.

jumping beans, or Mexican jumping beans specifically, move around as a result of moths laying their eggs inside seed pods.

titan beetles are the largest type of beetle and males don't eat food.

I could've just said he rambled off bug facts star, I could've made this quick but no, you brought this upon yourself. NOW READ MY BUG FACTS!! MWAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!

*Zii was NOT expecting that. She listens to all of it intently, but it takes a moment for her to process.*

[thevaudevilledemon]

Cartoon Rap Battles: Magica De Spell vs Count Duckula

Been a while... and this may be the last one of these for a good while until I can get some better creativity going. That's neurodivergencies for ya.

Magica De Spell:

Abra Cadabra, and a Bette Midler movie too I’ve summoned a vampire before that was much greater than you

You really wish to go beak to beak with one of Cartoons greatest foes? I can outwit Scrooge McDuck, so I can keep you on your toes

I’ve got control over meteors, I can alter the shape of reality While all you strive to be is a half-wit no talent celebrity

Your first Foray against a real opponent, not that incompetent Goosewing You don’t have any teeth kid, this battle was your greatest misdoing

I’ve watched your show, every episode is a slog It can’t be easy being green, let me turn you into a frog

You’re just a cowardly egotist, a juice drinking kale lover So fly back to home and cower under your bed cover

Count Duckula:

In the Vampire Hall of Fame In the heart of Transylvania There’s not a vampire Zanier than me, Duckula

Tell me to fly home, I’ve got a genuine castle you know And it’s nicer than your shack you built at the base of a volcano

You’re rival is Scrooge McDuck and you’re his ally from time to time But I find it all the more curious that you’re fighting over a stupid dime

You’re an Italian, questo è un fatto, so answer me this De Spell Why did they decide to give you the voice of Natasha Fatale?

You’re after the midas touch to make everything turn to gold But it couldn’t save your rhymes, your bars are worthless all told

Go throw a tantrum like this is yet another one of your failed plans You’re being beaten by another old duck Magica, this victory is out of your hands

Magica:

Alakazam, Klaatu and Hey Presto too! I haven’t laughed at vegan beasts like this since I watched Troll 2

I’m a sultry and seductive enchantress from comic pages You’re an improperly resurrected corpse from the middle ages

I’m dropping nothing but Foof Bombs you’re all quack and no bite Best friend of Madam Mim I’m the real terror of the night

The original Duck Witch stepping up to take over the house While you’re predated by Quacula on Mighty Mouse

This evil witch shall haunt you from the shadows for as long as I please I’m so evil and naughty I can make the Beagle Boys freeze

You’re about as threatening as an understuffed Care Bear Between us both, you’re Green Day while I’m Aurelio Voltaire

Count Duckula:

Keep shouting Pokémon names I’m sure something will happen soon I think I’d be more intimidated By the lamest of Maleficent’s Goons

Evil witch? I think the proper word is terrible You were defeated by a family you turned into animals

You turned your brother into a raven drove away your own niece Or should all this annoying cartoon multiverse garbage simply cease?

There’s too many of you Magica, there is only one of me Resurrected from DangerMouse it was Nickelodeon who summoned me

Capcom stole me for a boss, I was out a few months prior, you know? And Matt and Frank made an emo version of me for your brother Poe

You’re always outwitted by some kids you can’t even handle your own And everybody knows you want the magic wand of Lucky Gladstone

Seriously, you’re the worst witch I’ve ever had to fight You can call me Michael Stipe because this is me in the Spotlight

[theexodvs]

A Revolution of Lies

The sexual revolution was started by a child predator and quack named Alfred Kinsey. Everything it held to was a lie, meant to serve to the benefit of rich and powerful men.

The sexual revolution promoted the idea that young men were not morally or ethically responsible for what they did with their male parts and how they touched other people until (maybe) their eighteenth birthday. This is a lie. The age of accountability is a lie. Nobody’s moral responsibility is dependent on how many times any floating rock has spun around any ball of fire since their birth. This lie was promoted so that the sons of rich and powerful men could touch their teachers or their fathers’ subordinates inappropriately and get away with it because “they’re not 18 yet.”

The sexual revolution promoted the idea that men could be “sexually assaulted” by women. This is a lie. Newspeak is a lie. The denial of human sexual dimorphism is a lie. It was promoted because sexual violence is the only category of violent crime whose victims were primarily women in every region of the world, and in every period of human history for which remotely reliable records exist. Sexual violence is committed often by rich men, at rates substantially higher than armed robbery or even (provable) murder, so the redefinition of this term serves to bring attention away from them, and allows for false accusations against women.

The sexual revolution promoted the idea that women’s worth is found in which and how many men they give their bodies to. This is a lie. Any conception of a person’s worth as something that can be granted or revoked by any person, thing, or force in our temporal plane is a lie. This lie was promoted so that women would give their bodies to rich and powerful men.

The sexual revolution promoted the that fetishism is healthy. This is a lie. Fantasy, particularly in adults, and the sanitization of self-harm and assault are lies. They were promoted so that the rich and powerful men who, during the time of the sexual revolution, would have had greater access to pornography could find partners without feeling shame for their niche interests, apart from which they had difficulty remaining erect.

The sexual revolution conceptualized the marriage contract like a business contract. This is a lie. Any chain of a spouse’s decisions that eventually leads to a divorce is a lie, including those of at-fault divorces. It was promoted so that rich and powerful men could dispose of women and children they saw as financial liabilities.

Neither the US nor any culture the sexual revolution has spread to has children at replacement levels apart from immigration. People who reject it have more children than those who embrace it, but the ideological descendants of the sexual revolutionaries have control of the public school system in many countries, including the US. Eventually, however, every culture that currently promotes the ideals of the sexual revolution will have to reject these principals or go extinct.

[charkyzombicorn]

...hiriluk adopts baby luffy au?

I feel like Oprah everyone gets a Luffy--

How old is Chopper? 13? Luffy's like 4 years older than him, Chopper gets adopted aRound 5, so Luffy's 9 when they meet now uuuuuh--

Luffy was born premature and sick, sicker than a newly minted revolutionary army's doctors can help, especially since none of them are obstetricians. All the proper obstetricians in the grand line work for the government anyway. There's One semi-pediatric doctor in paradise they can Maybe get to before Luffy just stops being able to breath altogether that won't immediately assassinate him, and it's some quack on drum island.

Hiriluk has odd methods, but they work and Luffy wakes up for his second day living - but he needs to be watched and have a doctor that knows his symptoms because of shit like seizures and asthma. Dragon can't afford to be that vigilant about a kid or hire anyone else to be, and says as much when asking for a one-time fix. Hiriluk says there isn't one he knows, and volunteers to keep Luffy safe and healthy until he's strong enough to be a normal child. Dragon says keep him, because who would look for a demon child being raised by a quack doctor, it's a mad lib, no one would think of it.

Of course, Luffy gets better pretty quickly, then freakishly strong and gets kicked out of school for that. Hiriluk doesn't mind, he adores his son. Then Luffy hears about a monster in the woods, says he's going to make friends with it and Hiriluk comes along because he also wants to make friends. They meet 'the monster' and Luffy and Hiriluk both immediately adopt him and call him Tony Tony D. Chopper

When Hiriluk is about to die, he kicks out both Luffy and Chopper, and Luffy is The Apex Predator in the woods at that point (he's what? 14? And Chopper's 10?) so Chopper doesn't get put through the ringer as much but by the end of it Hiriluk opens the door and sees his eldest covered in bruises and claw marks and frostbite, carrying his unconscious youngest in one arm, also bruised and broken, and offering out a poison mushroom in the other. "Chopper still needs you, he got you medicine." He said. "You don't need to keep me but Chopper still needs you."

Hiriluk takes in his boys and let's them sleep in their beds, and eats the mushroom in front of them both and then leaves once they've both passed out from the day theyd had.

Kuriha says she won't adopt anyone, only apprentice them and Luffy says Chopper wants to be a doctor and leaves because Chopper needs adults but Luffy does not. He lives in the woods, gets smarter and faster and he always makes a warm meal when his little brother visits. He wants to be a pirate, and he's about to tell Chopper when Kureha's castle is attacked. He beats them up and then takes Chopper with him to be pirates.

[hopefulkidshark]

Ducks

They are capable of abstract thinking and have deep emotional lives. Ducklings can tell the difference between objects based on their color or shape, demonstrating abstract thought capabilities. They also show affection for their siblings, mothers, and paddling-mates and, like all animals, are capable of feeling pain.

Ducks are intelligent, feeling individuals who love spending their time relaxing on the water or foraging for food. But many of them don’t have the opportunity to live the way they want because humans torment and kill them for their flesh or feathers

Here are 10 facts that will help you get to know these feathered friends:

1. Ducks are well adapted for water, land, and air activities.

These gifted swimmers have waterproof feathers, which have a waxy coating that protects an inner layer of down, to keep them warm and dry. They can swim in cold water without catching a chill because their feet have blood vessels that are close together so they don’t lose heat. Some duck species can dive up to 240 feet below the water, and others can fly as high as 21,000 feet in the air (although most migrate at heights of 200 to 4,000 feet). They can also fly long distances, and they use wind to help them reach speeds of up to 60 mph.

2. Ducklings are loving siblings and communicate with each other before hatching.

Ducklings coordinate hatching by communicating with each other while they’re still in their eggs. Hatching at the same time is important, because sticking together as a group helps protect them from predators. After hatching, they swim and walk together, following close behind their mothers. Even as adults, ducks prefer to be in a group, which brings us to our next fact …

3. They are super-social animals!

Ducks are most comfortable when living with other ducks in their natural environment. When on the water, they congregate in groups called “paddlings,” which helps protect them from predators. In these groups, they are free to spend their days foraging for food and sleeping soundly, knowing their friends will warn them of any danger.

4. Ducks have regional accents.

Regional accents are just another example of ducks’ ability to adapt to their environment. Middlesex University researcher Dr. Victoria de Rijke recorded the sounds of ducks in the heart of London and compared them with those of ducks living in the countryside. She found that the ducks in London had a louder, rougher quack, because they had to shout above the noise of city life. The ducks in the country “made longer and more relaxed sounds.” Dr. de Rijke even noted how similar their sounds were to those of humans living in the same area.

5. Female ducks pick their favorite male ducks to mate with based on dancing ability.

When mating season rolls around, a male duck will perform complicated displays to win a chance to mate with a female. She gets to choose her favorite based on this performance and the attractiveness of his feathers. Duck mating can be a violent experience for the female, so it’s important that she be able to choose her mate. At Culver Duck Farms in Indiana, a whistleblower told PETA that he had found so many males crowded together with females that the females were “gang raped,” and their bodies were left bloody, swollen, and injured. In their natural environment, female ducks have the power of choice—that power was taken from them at Culver.

6. Free from human intervention, some ducks can live up to 20 years.

When ducks are used for meat or down, workers kill them when they’re very young, sometimes even before they’re a year old. At Culver, the only certified “humane” duck farm in the U.S., a whistleblower said that workers threw ducklings into a grinder while they were still chirping.

7. Ducks have better vision than you do.

The shape of ducks’ eyes allows them to see things near and far simultaneously and in sharp focus. And since their eyes are located on either side of their head, they are able to see almost 340 degrees around. They can also move each eye independently and sleep with one eye open to watch for predators. In a group, ducks will trade off keeping an eye open to help protect the rest of the group from danger while they sleep.

8. Duck bills are as sensitive as human fingertips and palms.

Duck bills have touch receptors similar to those in human fingertips and palms, which helps them look for food in murky water. A broken bill can cause excruciating pain, a reality for many ducks who are used in the foie gras industry, where workers ram metal pipes down their throats and force-feed them until their livers swell to up to 10 times their normal size.

9. They are meticulously clean animals.

When you watch a duck for any length of time, you’re sure to see them preening their feathers to keep them perfectly clean. Ducks also like to keep their nests free of waste and debris, which can become an issue when dangerous fishing gear ends up in their waterways or homes. Ducks can be seriously injured or killed by swallowing fishing hooks or getting tangled in discarded lines—yet another reason why fishing kills.

10. They are capable of abstract thinking and have deep emotional lives.

Ducklings can tell the difference between objects based on their color or shape, demonstrating abstract thought capabilities. They also show affection for their siblings, mothers, and paddling-mates and, like all animals, are capable of feeling pain.

How Can You Help Ducks?

As long as humans continue to use ducks for their flesh, feathers, and eggs, these animals will continue to suffer. Going vegan and choosing down-free materials are great first steps. After PETA’s 2016 investigation, Harris Teeter dropped Culver as a supplier. With whistleblower footage released in 2022, we’re asking other grocers, including Sprouts Farmers Market, to reconsider their relationships with Culver, too.

10 Facts About Ducks That Might Surprise You | PETA

Please enjoy these ducks changing their minds 

(Source)

[openlettersforyou-blog]

Mrs. Mallard had been worn out. Raising a family of eight ducklings can be challenging. Constant paddling, serving a never-ending supply of delectable food, or the never-ending chorus peeps... Mommy Paw feels like throwing a long sleep. However, a catastrophe struck one afternoon. As the ducklings dove into the water, they were followed by a cunning red-haired fox. Mama Mallard started acting without hesitation. Mother Mallard started to feign a broken wing, quacking loudly like she was in distress, drawing the predator’s attention.T he fox, completely fooled, eagerly pursued the seemingly injured duck, its eyes fixated on its easy prey. Thus, the ducklings understood the assignment, they quickly paddled to safety among the reeds. Mama Mallard, cleverly leading the fox deeper and deeper into the marshland, eventually shook off her pursuer and rejoined her brood, relieved and slightly ruffled but ultimately victorious. It was a close call, but Mama Mallard proved that a mother's love, and a little bit of clever distraction, can overcome any challenge.

By: CatShouldEatFish

Image by: Mike Walker

[book51ut]

Bugsy and Other Stories by Rafael Frumkin

Oof excellent. This is really, really, really good writing. Frumkin had a way of conveying such a strong sense of emotion and feeling between the words. The written and the unwritten dance around each other in a way that creates such powerful and poignant stories.

There were three stories that really stuck out to me. One was from the perspective of a young autistic boy who was nonverbal. We heard both his inner monologue and perspective and the perspective of his mother. What I thought was amazing was the ways in which his thought processes reflect my own. Also, his mother’s conflicting emotional journey. She has this eternal motherly love for her son and that is very obvious. She talks about wanting to kill herself and him for his own good, so he doesn’t have to be hurt by the world. Yet, she also desperately wants him to be different. She says that she wants the “real” him, the one “inside” to come out. She can’t see that he’s himself. He isn’t anyone else and he never will be. She, in desperation to make both hers and her sons’ lives easier, is willing to listen to quack science and form relationships with other women in similar situations, digging herself deeper into her own misguided ways of thinking. That is such a perfect and nuanced depiction of parenthood of autistic children. I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it. It really struck a nerve for me. The last thing is that the young boy hears and sees all of the less than savory conversations that his caregivers are having around him. He experiences neglect, but isn’t able to articulate it or even acknowledge that he is experiencing it. That is an incredibly common experience.

The second story that really stuck out was of a young streamer who just turned 18, and a man who was stalking her. I liked this story a lot because it speaks to men who claim to be “nice guys” who are actually fucking weird incels. They think they’re “feminists,” but really, they’re predators. I also love the idea of a young woman giving that man a giant middle finger by not just rejecting him, but my going absolutely batshit insane. He has this idea of her as this “innocent” girl who is a sweet, mild-mannered person, couldn’t hurt a fly, would be his complacent wife and little sex bunny. And she takes a baseball bat and murders an animal in cold blood, destroys another man’s car and hits him with a bat. She makes him take drugs he’s never taken before, and swears like a sailor. She’s had a difficult life which he knows nothing about and she’s much tougher than him. Yet, his creepy disgusting pedophile brain imagined a whole life and personality for her without knowing it at all. And he’s sitting there talking about feminism and how much he respects women. This just hit something close to home for me, an anger and pain that is universally experienced by gender minorities and also universally ignored by men.

The last story that I really enjoyed was called The Last Show. It was a woman’s final moments, a mix of her memories and vignettes from the hospital room where she is dying. It’s confusing and comforting for her, and it is presented in the same way for us. I just thought the tumultuous way of writing was particularly well done.

[becoming-not-became]

BeADuck

I oftentimes feel like a mallard trying to find a comfortable place to sit upon eggs Sitting upon dreams soonto be realities isnever easy whether they be ducklings career or love we all have dreams having dreams iseasy but tending to them warming them and protecting them from the elements and from predators and the many naysayers takes courage fortitude and strength whether those dreams quack or…

[the-gingest]

The only good cop is one that has left the predatory system of law enforcement and is actively working to undo the harm that they and others have facilitated or caused through their actions and negligence.