#if it is there itll be here for another week im SURE

[deoidesign]

please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3

Thank you very much

Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...

It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!

Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...

This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.

But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!

[z0mb13xxxx]

an unhealthy obsession

synopsis: you work at a your towns local gym, its small but it has the most members, tons of people coming in and out, but this one guy has you wrapped around his finger….

tag: afab!reader, reiner braun, gym rat reiner, smut, NEW WRITER

word count: 2,247

it was a normal day in your shift. most days where like this, you worked 5 days out of the week, 8 hour shifts, but unfortunately for you. your boss schedules you for second shift, one of the most busiest shifts especially at the gym. people just getting out of work and coming straight to the gym. not only that but you guys carried tanning and other amenities too so that was busy. you showed up to your job monster in hand, wearing black shorts and a black t-shirt that has STAFF written in the back in bright orange coloring, as well as your orange and white name tag that states “y/n”

walking in, you’re greeted by your co-worker. “afternoon y/n! your gym crush is here” they say, wiggling their brows. all you can do is chuckle and roll your eyes. going into the break room to set your stuff down, you take a sip of your monster and breath out. “it’ll be fine..just another day, itll go by fast then you can leave and lay in bed again…” you say, trying to keep your head up

walking out into the lobby area, you spot him…your “gym crush”. even though you denied it countless of times. whenever he was here you always coincidentally walked around the gym to make sure “things where neat” as you said. but secretly you were just walking around to get a good look at him. it also seemed like whenever you were on shift or were near him he would always try to show off, maybe it was in your head but damn he always seemed to be so extra.

seeing as nobody was around to help him you walk towards him with a cocky smile, you always tried to flirt with him. yes very unprofessional but he never seemed to mind. it almost seemed like he liked it? maybe it was again, all in your head but it seemed like he was also flirting with you. “yes reiner? how may i assist you?” you say. almost snarky. “really? gonna talk to your favorite member here like that? ouch…” he said with a chuckle and a grin, “nah im playin doll. i need a bar pad.” the pet name made you shiver, he always called you doll and everytime it always made you shudder. “reiner…tsk tsk.. i dunno… do you really deserve it?” you say bending down towards the cabinet where you keep all of the extra equipment

you wouldn’t be lying if you didn’t admit that every time you bent down to grab a bar pad for him you would try and show off your ass extra to him. standing back up and towards him you hand him the bar pad, he grabs it gently out of your hands. “y’know reiner. its so funny, you always come up here and ask for the bar pad but you know where they are, you also know you’re more then welcome to just grab it yourself. eren and jean do it all the time.” you say, resting your hands on your hips. “i’m aware. i just like talking to you. id be lying if i didn’t say you where my favorite staff.” he stated. the comment making you blush slightly, you giggle in response, “that thing about you being my favorite member, how do you know that to be true? what if i hate your guts?” you say, walking towards him slightly pointing your finger towards his chest

he hisses jokingly. “tsk. ouch. really didnt know we were being like that” he said raising a brow, hovering over you slightly he states “dont lie doll i know you’re in love with me, i see the way you look at me” that comment alone gets your face all red. the size of him does not help either. you look away, laughing as you back up to help out another member. “go away reiner. do your workout!” you say swaying your hands away, not only did you need to actually help out another member, you just wanted to avoid the conversation alone. he makes you so fucking nervous its insane.

as you’re helping another member, you notice out of your peripheral vision that he is still standing behind the desk, with that smug look on his fucking face. fuck. as the member leaves you look towards him. “yes?” you say. “whatcha doin later?”, your heart races, fuck fuck fuck. why would he ask you this!? “nothing…? i plan on going to bed” you giggle awkwardly, “what time you get off?” again, your heart is RACING you can fucking feel it getting louder and faster, “i get off around 8. you dont plan on following me home and kidnapping me do you?” he laughs “no no, i was wondering if you wanted to go on a date? aside all the bullshit, i really am interested in you, i wanna take a pretty girl like you out, hows that sound doll?” you can feel your knees getting weak “um…y-yeah! that sounds great!” you state, trying not to sound to excited. “great. how about my house? we can watch a movie? i can make us some dinner or we can order take out?” he grabs a piece of paper and pen from the desk, writing down his address and putting his phone number down “holy shit holy shit this is actually happening what the fuck,what the fuck!!” you thought to yourself, he slides the paper towards you, winking he walks away “see you around 9:45 babe. text me with your address and when you’re ready, ill be at your place to get you” walking away, you stare at him, flustered as fuck you look towards your co-worker who witnessed all of that.

“holy shit..so are you gonna go!?” she says “fuck pieck..you know im gonna, ive had an unhealthy obsession with him for like ever! oh my god i cant believe this.” you squeal. before you know it, its already 8, clocking out and grabbing your things you walk to your car, fumbling with your keys you get in and drive to your apartment. parking and walking into your house you check the time and its 8:12 enough time to shower and get ready. you turn on some music, take off your work clothes and hop in the shower. before leaving work you had shot reiner a message letting him know it was you. finishing up with your shower you get out, dry your hair and get ready, putting on some spandex shorts, and a graphic t-shirt, you had no clue how far this was gonna go so you wanted to be comfortable, if it was a restaurant you would’ve dressed nicer but honestly you didnt care. sitting at your makeup table you put on some mascara and put your hair up into a claw clip.

checking your phone to see the time, its around 9:15, you took a long ass shower because you wanted to make sure everything was perfect for him. i mean fuck. its been years since you went on a date so you wanted to be perfect. looking at your phone you notice time is going by fairly slow. “it wouldn’t hurt to shoot him a message..maybe he wont mind coming early?” going to the messages app you text him

you: hey!! im finished getting ready you wanna come now?

9:20….you stare at your phone to see he read it but no response…maybe this was a mistake? fuck….ping!!! you hear looking right away

reiner: Sure. Im omw.

holy shit this is happening, you stand up, sliding into some crocs, because again, you’re just gonna be at his house so why dress nice? plus, if things go south it’ll be pretty easy for him to slide off your clothes. feeling a vibration from your phone, its a message from him stating that he’s there. shit your heart is racing, this is happening. after months of dreaming about this, you get up grabbing your bag and keys, locking the door you walk downstairs to the front, noticing him standing outside, leaning on the hood of his black truck he lifts his head up from him phone and grins, waving at you.

fuck. he looks so delicious in those grey sweats. staring at him you walk in front of him and smile. “guess we both had the same idea of dressing comfy?” you state. nodding he walks to the passenger side opening the door you hop in and he shuts it, getting into the drivers side he starts the truck and looks over at you. “so. what are your boundaries? id like to get this out of the way so i know how to make you comfortable” he says. placing your hands in your lap you look back at him “i’m pretty comfortable with anything honestly. i haven’t been on a date in over 2 years so i’m pretty touch starved” you state, he smiles and nods, turning on some music he places his hand against the passenger head rest and looks back as he reverses. putting his truck into drive he starts heading to his place, placing a hand on your thigh, a little to close to your heat but you don’t mind. this action alone make you assume you’re definitely getting some tonight

arriving at his house you place your hand on the door handle. as he lightly taps your thigh you jump and look at him in confusion. “ah ah..have some respect doll. the man always opens the door” he says taking his keys out if the ignition and getting out to open your door. holding his hand out you take it and step out of the truck, shutting the door you walk towards the front door. his hand on the small of your back he unlocks the door and lets you in first, you are immediately welcomed with the aroma of steak. “wow smells so good!! did you cook before you got me?” you say looking up at him. “yeah i wanted to kinda make sure everything was all ready so we didn’t have to wait”

as time passes you guys are huddled up on the couch, you’re in his lap passionately kissing him. the movie playing in the background, food not even touched. as his hands rest on your hips, you grind against him, testing the waters you hear a low groan come from his throat. pulling away to catch your breath, he leans into the side of your neck leaving small kisses, sighing softly, you rest your hands on his shoulder, continuing to grind gently. “fuck…you keep doing that and im gonna go wild doll..” practically making you limp in his hands you pull away and look at him “go wild then” you smirk

as he picks you up he heads to his room, laying you down on his bed, he steps back and takes a look at you, his growing erection begging to be let out of his sweats. “fuck. you okay with this? i don’t wanna push you..” he looks at you, trying to find some sort of hesitation in you. “you have no idea how long i’ve been wanting this reiner..fuck..just please give it to me.” he practically moans at your words, getting on his knees he pulls off your spandex and panties, staring at your glistening wet cunt in awe, he looks up at you again. gently placing a finger against your fold. “fuuuck…you’re so wet for me sweetheart” melting into his thick finger like putty, you moan at his statement. inserting one of his digits into your cunt, he leans down and licks your clit gently “mm so good..” he groans into your cunt. the vibrations making you moan louder then you already where. “gotta prep you first before i give you this cock doll..is that okay?” you nod, “i need a actual response from you.” he demands “yes reiner. fuck yes just keep going” that statement in its self was enough to make him pull off his sweats and pound into your tight pussy

as he continues to gently suck on your clit, he inserts another one of his digits into your cunt, loving the way you suck him in, he curls his fingers against your spongy walls, earning a deliciously loud moan from you. his fingers are thick, thick enough to hit you in all the right spots. “i’m gonna give it to you so good that no other guy can fuck you like i can” he groans into your pussy, finger your pussy faster, sucking on your clit harder, you grip his hair, arching your back as you feel the knot in you coming slowly undone “fuck..reiner fuck i’m gonna cum!” you moan out, “mmm yes baby cum, cum on my mouth” he growls, continuing at his pace, you release yourself all over his mouth, you can feel him lapping you up, making obnoxiously loud slurping noises as he chuckles with your moaning. continuing to finger you through your orgasm, he pulls out his fingers, licking them clean, as he stands up he takes one good look at you and chuckles again. “are you ready?” as you look up at him with a worried expression you nod as you glance down at his cock. „fuck how am i gonna take that.„ you thought to yourself

authors note: alright yall! this was my first fic let me know how i did, i feel like i kept this going on for way to long so let me know if you want a part 2 at all!! thanks for reading!!

honorable mentions @sundew199 @wintrrxxo thank you guys for giving me the inspo and being my favorite writers

@z0mb13xxxx please do not use my works for AI related purposes, copy, modify, or steal my works.

[jackieandwilsonbyhozier]

hi hello is anyone out there ? i need real life adult advice or maybe i just need ppl to pretend to listen to me so would anyone mind pretending for a moment. ok thank u

ill make it quick for the poll but put my actual thoughts under a readmore bc i have a lot to say sry....anyway vote in the poll reply reblog send me asks whatever just somebody help me for the love of god.

basically i hate my job and its killing my soul but im making pretty good money ($20/hour) but now they want to promote me to a manager which will kill my soul even more, but ill be making $27/hour. i kind of just want to quit but now theres that, plus if i stay for 2.5 more years i can sell my company stocks and get another big bonus. but again its fucking killing me working here

so i have been at my retail job for 2.5 years im a department manager and im very comfortable and confident in my position also im making $20 an hour which is great. i just got like a semi promotion i guess so now on days when they dont have a manager to close (usually 2 days a week) im the manager on duty and those days i make $22 an hour

however now they rly want to promote me to a manager full time. like the store manager and assistant manager r both telling me how great i would be and even the fcking district manager apparently agrees and wants me. i would be making ! $27 ! an hour which tbh is the only thing actually tempting me

i honestly kind of hate being a manager. i mean i like working with like the product and planning and paperwork and that stuff im confident in that but i hate hate hate actually having to manage PEOPLE. coworkers AND customers. im an extremely sensitive timid pushover-y person i just am and that is where i face the most difficulty. angry customers make me panic and i cant make myself be assertive enough for any of my coworkers to listen to anything i say

and most of all i hate the like manager culture/attitude. if uve worked in retail or probably anywhere else maybe ull know what i mean. like laughing at ur workers bc they asked for accommodations, making fun of them bc theyre all stupid and useless, chasing homeless ppl out of the store and shouting insults at them, basically just being a bully bc u know u can cuz ur in charge. and i rly rly dont want to participate in that and wont but then the other managers wont respect me lol

and actually bottom line is im sick to death of retail. this job is already draining me and if i become a manager im afraid itll be worse. obviously customers kill me and i would be happy if the rest of my life i never had to serve another customer. but even besides them. it takes me over an hour to bus to work and that wasted time adds up. i kind of put my all into work so when i get home i dont have the energy to do literally anything else. i dont know how to have a work/life balance i only know how to work. im a little bit living in filth it feels like bc i cant make myself do chores or take care of myself it feels like my life is just work, and then being at home waiting to have to go back to work

i havent gotten new piercings or tattoos in a couple years, and i havent cut or dyed my hair in over a year, its back to plain brown which i havent seen since i was like 17. its kind of killing my spirit not to be dramatic but thats the truth. art and creativity are the most important things to me and i feel like im losing myself bc i dont have the energy to keep up with stuff like that anymore the stuff i rly care about like my self expression, i feel like im killing myself in order to turn myself into a normie ass-kissing servant. i dont even draw anymore i dont do shit. im honestly kind of depressed as fuck. i mean i also havent been on my meds for over a year now which im sure isnt helping

but.........if i keep this up i could be making $27 an hour :-) the position is more than just being handed to me theyre practically begging me to take it. also another thing about my job is that u somehow accumulate/earn (?) stocks in the company, and after uve been here for 5 years u can sell them. but only if uve been working for 5 years. if u leave before that u lose them all. so if i stay another 2.5 years ill get another big bonus when i leave. but the thought of staying here that long kind of makes me wanna die😭

because thats the thing too and my final point, i honestly dont need the money. im 100% fine financially where i am rn. i have enough that i can pay my bills and put a lot in savings and buy my fun treats and whatever and i literally never ever worry about money this is the most money ive had in my life ive saved up quite a bit too. even if i just quit my job rn i would be good for like at least six months probably more. but i rly love being in this position financially lol. like im literally just like i love money yes i want more money thats the only thing making me want to stay

so i guess after typing all that out i can confidently say i dont like this job at all i just love money. im earning a lot already but i could be earning even more if i take the promotion but i AM losing my mind and kind of dont even want to work here at all anymore. i honestly dont know whats worth it i know all work is soul sucking and miserable so like should i just be grateful for what i have?? and what im being offered??

what i rly actually want to do is become a tattoo artist. i think i would be a lot happier and freer but my income would be a lot more uncertain as well which im very scared of like idk i havent been like tight on money and struggling in so long i dont want to give it up like ive been running like this so long idk how to stop. i rly dont know what to do

[kittycatred]

[ ooc ]

guess whos back from taking a breakkk ??? :3

ill post red stuff soon just be patient !!! :D

( if you wanna hear me yap a bit about some blog related stuff hit the fancy magical button belowwwl !! )

OKAY, SO !! mini blog updates !! (but theyre more for me/my sake than anything that'll heavily change for you guys !! and im 99.99% sure you guys dont mind all of these but againn theyre just for my own sake LMAO)

first and formost there will be no more daily posting, or atleast no more daily posting with art !! i accidentally stressed myself out with that last time </3 but i do like posting and ill try to whenever i can !! just dont expect there to ALWAYS be doodles, just only if i feel up to it !! :3

also, next thing is the animation that ive accidentally hyped for like a week or so...... short news is, for lore i wont animate it, i MIGHT animate it later and post it on my main, but for story progression im just gonna draw it because itll take too long and i do nooot want red in this cave for another 50 days </3 so i hopee this is okay, and sorry for potentially overhyping it </3

alsoo i have 9 asks i need to catch up on, and so im going to put a mini limit on answering asks with drawings for a bit if i get new ones (unless i feel super motivated to draw one) so i hope thats okay !! :3

but pleaseeee be patient with me !! :'D im still not at 100% but i do feel less burnout enough to go back to posting here (plus I MISS IT </3), and im hopefully going to try to not get as burnout again, sooo just bare with me guys :3

thankk you for being patient with this blog while i took a break, i rlly appreciate you guys !! & i swear im gonna get red out of slow story progression with being in that cave within the next few days if its the last thing i do LMAOO

[isqqcs]

slight nsfw warning (dunno if itll get deleted or not im still very new to tumblr)

made this a couple weeks ago i love them so much and still have no idea why im obsessed with them

im also making another delix edit so ill post it here when its done, itll be more wholesome this time for sure ^^

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas, its reg kin anon with, unfortunately, an ask not as pleasant as the last

i thought about what you said before, that i should consider going home before christmas, just in case. and i did, in the end, for my mother's birthday a couple weeks ago. it wasnt pleasant, but i went anyway and spent most of the whole three days with her.

in the end, im glad i did. none of my three siblings were home for it, one of them actually went to another country the morning of her birthday, so i was the only one of her kids who was there.

and again im glad i did, because the morning before i got my train home, she told me that shes getting surgery at the start of december. her doctors think they could take some of the cancer out - not all of it, mind, but some - but i cant stop thinking about the risks. i think its because i watch too many medical shows (im a sucker for greys anatomy) but im genuinely so terrified she wont make it to christmas.

i always hate christmas honestly, because its a time that youre supposed to spend with family and i dont get along with mine enough to have a pleasant day, or even a mediocre day. im starting to wish now that id appreciated it more even though id end most of them upset and depressed and wishing i was anywhere else. but at least all of us were there, yknow? what if she doesnt get to christmas?

the worst part is that a bit of me doesnt even want to go home for christmas even if she does get through the surgery. i know itll be shit like it always is and i know itll be even shittier this year so im dreading it with every fibre of my being but if this christmas is barely guaranteed, next year sure as hell isnt. if i go then im going to hate it, but if i dont then i know ill regret it forever.

i know im going to go home for the holidays, and tbh this ask really isnt about that. im really just afraid about the surgery and i havent told any of my friends because theyre still not meant to know about the cancer. ive been meaning to talk to my university about it but it feels like doing that makes it too real and scary, and its already real and scary enough.

i dont know how to deal with the fear, and i really dont know what to do if anything went wrong. im terrified

Hi!

First off, Grey's Anatomy is amazing, I love it

Second, I want to remind you that you're allowed to both dread this Christmas and be thankful for it.

But as far as the fear...that's a harder thing. I wish I could say everything will be alright, but we both know that things are uncertain and you have a right to be nervous. I think in this case, the best thing is to recognize those emotions and remember that they're allowed. You don't have to hide them or stuff them down. You say you can't tell your friends, but I forget- did you say your campus has a guidance center? Could you find a therapist? In the very least, keep venting here. Remember that stuffing down the fear isn't healthy.

Also...I know you don't want to tell your friends but like...what really could happen if you do? Like do you have friends who might be willing to keep the secret? Because I think you need a support system, and you deserve one.

I'm sending you so much love.

[intertexts]

TRIVIA TIIIIIME. THIS IS ONE OF THE LONGEST ONES YET !!!! IM SO FUCKING HYPE FOR U TO BE HERE THIS IS A BIG MILESTONE

EPISODE 13 TRIVIA:

- FIRST OFFICIAL PIECE OF MARK WINTERS ART !!!!!! HELL YEAAAAAH THIS ONE IS SO FUCKING COOL. this man haunts me

- bizly is talking about how he was fucking SWEATING all week before they recorded this ep bc he thought for sure william and vyncent were gonna just get in there and mirder the lich immediately. grizzly starts to say something like "no i wont-" and bizly cuts him off like "im not worried about YOU. youre my shining star, my golden boy"

- charlie, in response to this: "well. you should feel better because i cant even win against a WALL"

- grizzly: "i was really hoping youd take the bait and depower the villains. i was hoping to give you a cool idea with that"

- "the lich shouldnt even be alive, hes undead, hes breaking the laws of-"

charlie, interrupting "OKAYYY HEY NOW LETS NOT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT" << GETTING. INSULTED ON WILLIAMS BEHALF. AHA

- Dakotas memory about his dad pranking him in the car is an ACTUAL THING THAT GRIZZLYS DAD USED TO DO !?!?!?!!

- "william took 4 degrees of failure from punching a wall so hard your bone popped out" "yeah kind of like how i took 4 degrees of failure from sniffing a bag of doritos. kind of like how i took 4 degrees of failure from dakota comically picking me up and throwing me into a dumpster. all my trips to the spirit world are so pathetic"

- bizly: "okay let me say. you were going to go to the spirit world at the end of this regardless, i just saw an opportunity there and took it. originally i was gonna have you see a wisp while you were alive and follow it through a door or something" << AAURGRHRGHRGGH. i loooove talking abt williams powers

- HELLOOOOO THE FUCKING ANIMATIC. GOD. MAKES ME FUCKING CRAZY

- they all want to do a body swap episode. fully freaky friday moment where they cant switch back until they learn something about each other. i also want them to do this i think it would be funny

- bizly: "i love dakota dakota is one of my favorite characters in media."

(bizly: "because i relate to him"

charlie: "well THATS worrying.")

- "dakota doesnt necessarily *ignore* the why when thing happen hes just really... slow. it takes him a long time to reflect on things. it either takes him a really long time to process things and come to a conclusion OR he will just pull sage wisdom out of thin air because hes so simple minded. he'll just think for a really long time before he comes to these ideals that ive written for him as a player. itll come around, it'll just take him a long time to get there. as a player i know what kind of hero i want dakota to end up as at the end of it all" << i cant even add anything to this. grizzlyplays i am shaking you like a sack of rocks

- another mention about how dakota and chip riptide would be best friends i love this recurring bit

- "what did you guys think about seeing wavelength in the prison"

"uhh. hes mean :("

"it was awesome seeing him again, he scares me"

"it made me feel guilty that we havent found ashe yet"

- grizzly: "if he gets out of prison im gonna kill him" << HEAD IN HANDS

- "william wisp experiences incompetence consistently"

- hey remember in the episode how when william rolled to see if he was okay breathing inside the prison cell and bizly said something along the lines of "youre only hyperventilating because you *think* you should be, youre actually fine" << think about this in context with what you know now :) and hold onto it for the beginning of 14

- theyre talking about what happened between william and mark over the 10 month timeskip: william contacted him at some point, not really about anything in particular, just to ask him if he knew anything about ashe that could help thsm find him/updating him on their progress finding ashe. then when they started playing again william stopped contacting him (for meta reasons, charlie just forgot that was an option BUT) bizly took note of that anyway and thats why mark was so hostile right off the bat. he just like. stopped hearing things from william and didnt know what was going on anymore. so when they showed up here and had no update on ashe whatsoever it just made him think they werent actually doing anything to find him

- grizzly: "man you would thing being in prison and losing his son would give this man some perspective and adjust his personality but he just became more of an asshole"

bizly: "no, the problem is youre not thinking about it from his perspective!! youre only thinking about it from dakotas point of view where hes a villain and hes doing bad things so hes bad. hes just a guy who thought he was doing what he had to do to keep his son safe"

charlie: "okay but he like locked his son up forever"

bizly: "yeah i never said he was a good person! and then some teenagers came along and made him rebel and now he wants to be a super hero and the first thing that happens is he gets possessed" << THANK YOUUUU BIZLY. THANK YOU BIZLY. JUSTICE FOR MY HORRIBLE MAN

- they keep referring to overlord as "alligator guy" because they forgot his name. charlie even at one point goes "yeah and he was a crocodile or whatever, dont you know those are power level 9" << this will never stop being funny to me

- "HEY WILLIAM what do you think about dying again"

- charlie is Very concerned about the no blood thing. his theory rn is that the archway he saw was like "crossing over" for ghosts. like fully passing on and not being ghosts anymore. seeing himself/his memories in the prison cells was very poetic, he kind of feels trapped by himself right now. hes the most curious about the 5 empty chairs and what that could possibly mean

- theyre trying to figure out who the group of 5 could possibly be. williams old group didnt have 5 people, prime defenders doesnt have 5 people even with ashe so they have no ideas right now and are excited to find out more :)

- "williams pretty fucked up right now to be honest!!! we just spent an episode and a half arguing about how we're allowed to kill the lich because its undead and not human. and then he learns hes fucking deteriorating. uh oh! now hes probabky thinking 'am i even a person?' i dont even know if he knows what to think about the spirit world right now i think hes just kind of panicked"

- "if only the ghost of party city were here, hed know what to say about this"

- "how is vyncent feeling right now?" "hes still kind of pissed. his one goal of killing the lich after all these years was just ripped away from him. hes accepted it for now but if that lich escapes. man hes gonna go nuts"

SUCH an insanely good episode dude hoooooly shit. head in hands. everybody say thank u bizlychannel!!!!! man. this was SO good man it really does feel like.... not a turning point, necessarily, but very important. honestly, really glad that by now they've had time to really like, sit with their characters & the world & let it all steep for a while? this season already really feels like such a tonal shift & kind of a step up frm season 1 so far!! (NOT that season 1 also wasn't really fucking good. but a lot of what we've got in s2 so far feels a lot more settled and cohesive) im here for it!!! LOVED the animatic that shit was crazy. if thats a precedent they're setting now im gonna go wild.

I ALSO THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA MURDER THE LICH. i was like ohhhh great this is how we get the vigilante on the run arc its gonna be so bad theyre never gonna see tide again. phew!!!! i mean, i, too, still think the lich should be dead. but. also yeah WHAT DO YOU MEAAAN THATS A REAL THING HIS DAD DID. FUCKING CRAZY.

what else.. having so many thoughts about william's Situation . as always. man. it's so fucked up. i have no clue where any of it's going dude... the only thought i have is that i don't think. we have any real context for the five thrones thing yet. i don't think that's related to anything we already know except. mayyybe mal. i think that's some spirit world-specific bullshit! we'll see though. we'll see.

YEAH <333 DAKOTA IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS IN MEDIA TOO <33333 auaurrghghhggghhh. ohh hes so everything 2 me. also i love seeing characters who don't Get Everything Immediately. like yeah! you got time to parse through it all in yr brain man. hell yeah rotate it in ur mind for weeks before coming to a conclusion!! no one has their entire belief system hammered out in advance!!

+ also feeling fucking unhinged over mark winters. as always.

[indianabonez]

school updates !

first day things:

- 4 fire drills???

- found out i hate large classes

- archaeology prof: “why are you taking this class/what do you know about archaeology?” student: “i dont know anything i just thought this class would be about dinosaur bones and thought that was cool”

- there are so many people everywhere at all times, my cc was basically abandoned in comparison (hoping this is just a week one thing its super overwhelming, i couldnt even find a place to sit and study other than picnic benches outside)

- couldnt find the library part of the library? (there were tables and a service desk but i did not see bookshelves? must explore more)

textbooks:

apparently my financial aid won’t cover my textbooks at all. managed to find 2 in free pdf form, the last one was $110 at the school bookstore but i found it on amazon for $47 instead although it wont be here till the end of next week and i have an assignment due before then that requires reading 😭.

on another note though if anyone wants the drive with those 2 textbooks (theyre for biological anthropology, & dinosaurs: a natural history) im willing to share it! ill be compiling a drive with all the textbooks i use/can find throughout my program.

first impressions of my classes:

- was a half hour late for ethnomusicology and prof wasnt happy but i dont know my way around. not sure how i feel about it so far since i missed the whole intro

- dinosaurs seems like itll be fun. lots of neurodivergent vibes in that classroom and love that the prof posted multiple chapter slides early so im able to get ahead if i want to

- bio anthro… already know im gonna hate this one. the classroom is super dimly lit and too small to fit the amount of desks/students. there are two people teaching it and they constantly interrupt the other making it hard for me to follow and also hard to hear if im not right in the front of the class.

- cultural anthro should be interesting. prof seems chill and same for my classmates but why is it that all cultural anthro professors (at least the ones ive had/met) are actually economic anthropologists that put heavy emphasis on it in their classes? i dont want to learn economics lmao.

- archaeology!! very small class size and has a younger professor that focuses on historical archaeology of african diasporas in central/latin america. im most excited for this & dinosaurs personally.

[snickeringdragon]

snick you need to tell me where ok ko wasted its potential and how you think it could be made better i havent seen anyone talk about this damn show in ages Yes im here because of skiddle's tags hi skiddle. hi snick

AHHAHAHAHAHAA. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. YOU HAVE NO IDEA

AHEM.

ok ko spoilers, obviously

...i should put this under a cut

opens up a powerpoint presentation. ok ko is in my opinion overall a very good show. its incredibly funny, charming, and...sometimes well written story wise. unfortunately it has a very very big failing in a very very big plot point

clicks to the next slide. my beautiful son tko.

tko himself is fine. i have no issues with his CHARACTER. i take issue with how his character is treated. tko is, by himself, a child with anger issues, he reacts very poorly to being agitated but like...

he has to be agitated first.

there is not a single example before season 3 where tko like, wrecks shit or whatever without being provoked, in his debut for example, hes just doing his job (albeit begrudgingly) before enid and rad provoke him, and he starts fighting them

however, the show always seems to act like tko is in the wrong, treats him like a villain despite his mostly heroic acts, is he PERFECT? no!! hes a fucking kid with anger issues!! he was locked inside a mind cage!! he doesnt know how to deal with things so he hits them!!! he just. happens to be able to hit things very very hard and with lightning bolts.

another example is the season 1 finale, youre in control. in yic tko. literally doesnt do anything wrong. like im not joking.

in yic tko gets let out to fight boxman jr and like...he does that. he throws boxman jr back to boxmore and then chases him over to boxmore. he does not attack a single hero in this episode. he does not do any damage to the plaza. the worst thing he does in this episode is put ko back in the cage. yet its STILL treated like hes doing something wrong???

another thing about tko. tko wants freedom. he says this outright. being locked inside a literal cage will do that to ya. i want to make sure real quick that we're on the same page here that locking a 6-11 year old boy inside a cage is bad no matter how badly he is at managing his anger issues right. right. okay. tko deserved to be uncaged. and he WAS. except...

when he gets out of the cage in youre in control. thats great and all but...his next appearance, tkos house, hes still upset. he still wants his freedom. its just that instead of being locked in a cage hes locked in a (pretty cool honestly) house. it doesnt matter how nice you make an enclosure, sometimes itll just never work for the animal. and thats what tko is like, he wants out, he wants control over the body, which like. is fucking fair?? im someone who REALLY understands the importance of going outside often, tko really deserves to be allowed outside their headspace. its good for you.

but tko DOESNT. GET THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he shows up. LITERALLY TWICE in season 2 (thats 40 episodes!) and NEITHER of his appearances (tkos house, dark plaza) does he even get to use the body on his own!! its always fused as pko!! he doesnt get a turn!!

and then when season three starts. uh. glances at tko rules. Yeah. The Subconscious. he gets trapped in a dark empty void for [checks notes] about two weeks. minimum.

what im getting at here. is that tko never really left that cage.

okay. im gonna touch on one more tko thing. the FUCKING finale. [furious]

quick recap, in the finale ko and tko have a plot twist moment where "oh hey! ko and tko are the same person actually! and now theyve accepted eachother as the same person and can be happy! hooray!" except like. mko (finale fusion) is just ko

like seriously hes JUST ko. his design? leaning towards kos features. his personality? LITERALLY just ko theres not a hint of tko there. its not the two of them "accepting eachother" or whatever its. its the writers killing off tko.

as well as like. a guy i know pointed this out and i cannot fucking get over it. if they were just going to ""fuse the two"" in the end then WHY. in GODS NAME. is tkos LITERAL FIRST LINE OF DIALOGUE.

"no, not ko."

hes so fucking INSISTENT on correcting people when they call him ko (which is ANOTHER gripe i have with this show. NOBODY calls him his name) and they just. oh yeah hes actually ko lol. LIKE DUDE. THIS ISNT HOW YOU WRITING.

i didnt even mention the issues regarding system stereotypes. i didnt even mention dark plaza since i was focusing on tko. i didnt even. theres so much. i need to stop. now. goodbye.

[musubiki]

im ngl noww that you say that you do art as a hobby, im just intrigued by how you are so confident and are able to have the free time to do it as a hobby...

i hope i didnt make a mistake taking art college ;; IM ROOTING FOR YOU TOO! its so luckily nowdays to have a job youre at least okay with but also have some really fun hobby on the side too

to one broke college student to another do u have any advice for future years? i ltrly just started college like 3 weeks ago

aaaa as far as time for the hobby goes, i actually only have that kinda time very recently (like over the summer and this semester).....if you noticed, i kinda dropped off for a year where i mustve only drawn like 10 things??? which is because last year was such a busy year for me in terms of work and courses...but this semester is better because im only in 3 classes: one doesnt have any exams and another im retaking (cuz i didnt pass the summer comp exam for it lol) so its all content ive seen before!! so this semester is a little easier and i can draw a bit more when i dont have homework or on the weekends!!!

as far as advice goes, (im not sure how art school works? or if youre in a normal university just majoring in art?) id say: take a lot of different classes to see what you like! explore different areas, and i think it might also be good to have like.....a contingency plan so to speak. like in my undergrad i got a minor in anthropology and almost got a certificate in accounting just so i had a little more options post-undergrad if the math major didnt work out!! so doing something like that is never a bad idea!!! (my undergrad program had a requirement to fulfill a certain amount of credits outside your major courses, so i used those to explore different things)

also dont be afraid to change if you feel you dont like your current path.....like i mentioned i was an astronomy major in undergrad first, and had wanted to go into astronomy since i was a kid, but found eventually it wasnt for me (i couldnt cut it in physics) and switched to something i wasnt SUPER passionate about, but i was good at it!! which was a huge decision for me and lowkey pretty risky (the fuck do you do with a math major?? everyone i asked they just replied "Oh you can do lots of things!" and never gave me an actual job title)

try to do summer internships if you can! as long as its financially feasible for you, itll make your resume a lot beefier when you graduate if employers/grad school see that you already have several experiences under your belt (and experience compounds on itself-- the more you have the more likely you are to get more!! for example here in my program, if you have more stats and coding experience coming in youre more likely to get more stats/coding assistantships, so you gain even more experience over the person who had no stats/coding experience prior and as a result got sent to be a TA or something. so the person who already had experience gets more experience and the person who didnt falls even further behind :') (me) )

networking is also important!!! since youre just in undergrad, i would recommend starting by talking to professors when you can. doesnt need to be like, going out of your way to go to their office hours and talk stories, but maybe chat a bit before/after class!! ask them how their weekend went, ask a dumb clarifying question!! i got to my current grad program because my professor came to me before class one day and said "I have a friend from [my current program] coming to recruit, you should go meet him." so be friendly with your professors so they get to know you and will pass on opportunities when they hear about them!!

a lot of professors get emails from all kinds of jobs/programs to the effect of "[place] is looking to recuit/hire" and they can pass those your way if youre on their radar!! and lastly work hard!!

(anyway this is advice i have based on my own experiences and what worked for me, it will most likely be different for you!! stay on top of your studies, but also force yourself to rest every so often!! I personally do not do any work on saterdays and try not to on sundays!! so i feel okay working hard the other nights of the week so i have two full days of rest....sacrifice your work-week free time for grades :') sometimes the best thing for your mental health is just getting the thing you dont wanna do out of the way!! good luck in uni!!!)

[bbuunyy]

The cockroach incident? 👀

ok. picture me, your average flightless, featherless, biped animal. This happened roughly 2 months after i decided i wanted to drop out of college, but 2 months before classes were over, so i really was just Not Having It. I hated most of what i was studying and saw no point in continuing. I was 5 states away from my family, living in a shared apartment with a deadbeat roommate who was in the same house as me like once a week. It was the middle of the hottest summer i have ever experienced in my entire life. My apartment complex was this old moldy hole, full of spiders the size of a closed hand, bats in the attic (i had never even SEEN an attic but here we were and mine had BATS in there). and a brand new cockroach infestation. I was slowly going insane very quickly.

On top of all that I had a very stressful practical anatomy test to study for. It was hard ok? over 300 names to memorize across several different animal species. I was studying solely through videos because the teacher didn't let us actually study with the anatomical pieces. So there i was. 1am on a sunday. Sitting at the kitchen table, a white, plastic lawn table, broken. if you put too much weight on it it just came undone. Sweat is dribbling down my asscrack. I am studying to the sound of friday night funkin songs because it's the only thing that could keep my adhd ass awake while i binge studied.

Out of the corner of my eye i catch some movement and i see a Giant Flying Cockroach approaching rapidly. It was the size of my pinky EASILY. It lands on the wall opposite to my room's door. It stays there, its little antennae moving and flickering DISGUSTINGLY. I stare at it. I can't move. At that moment i am 300% sure if i move itll move and i really dont want that. I stare at it. unmoving. for half an hour. it doesnt move. but of course, im intelligent enough to know that sooner or later one of us WILL have to move, and the other one will die. So i figured, well, better for it to be me! So i get up. slowly. carefully. i walk towards the kitchen to get the broom. really fucking slowly. still staring at it constantly (it didnt move). i get closer to it again, broom in hands, shaking like a leaf. utterly terrified of the horrid animal in my house.

it begins to move.

i stop moving.

it stops moving.

every single time i moved it moved. i couldnt get my broom any closer to it without it Walking Around. It wasnt even running away or scuttling. it was just walking little steps, like it was mocking me. mocking me and my existence. mocking my every daily toiling.

i went god im SO FUCKING FUCKED! This is it! This is how i die! Death by trashbug!

so i stop moving. i dont move. i stop breathing. i become stone. my white ass camouflages within my landlord white surroundings. once again i go back to staring at it and its horribly long antennae. I just stare at it, trying to find the courage within me to stab the fucker. But one thing you need to know about me: i am a scared little animal who just happens to be very big. my soul is very small. it is puny even. i am proudly a coward. but being a coward doesnt fix the fact that there is a very scary bug threatening my livelyhood and my hopes and dreams and that im ALONE and have to deal with this myself.

and so i whack it. i whack the beast. i stab it. i shove the broom up like REALLY HARD against the ceiling. i am confident i smashed it because i very vigorously whammed a broom on the wall. it was very loud!!!! still, i keep it there for a moment, trying to gather the courage to let it go now because thats another entire beast. thats another task within itself. but like. im confident i killed it at this point. im confident my efforts paid off in the end and that courage wins every fight etc.

so i let it go!

and what does it do? It FLIES OFF! And i yell. i begin yelling. my throat gets hoarse.

the thing didnt even get a scratch! On top of that, it just flew STRAIGHT INTO MY ROOM.

At this point im this 🤏 close to a mental breakdown.

so my first idea, of course, is FUCK I SHOULD CALL MY MOM. She picks up despite the fact that it is now almost 3am. that does very little to comfort me because 1. shes 5 entire states away. thats half a country. 2. shes also terrified of cockroaches.

so yeah. dead end.

i tell my mom "im going to ask my elderly neighbor for bug spray" and she says "its past 3am dont wake up your elderly neighbor for bug spray".

so what do i do? i desperately bang on my elderly neighbors door for 10 minutes. Her 2 dogs bark a lot. Never once does she open the door, but i could very much hear her flipflops squeak on the floor, so she was just Standing There. I beg for her help, i ask for bug spray, im full on crying at this point and my voice is hoarse from the yelling from before. She begins praying like im some sort of apparition i guess. I can hear her praying to god or some shit and then leaves me to be. she doesnt ever reply to me directly. So i sit against her door like a very normal person, curl up on fetal position and lose my shit right there. i am shaking. i am crying. theres snot running down my face. im bawling.

eventually i drag myself back home. stand at my bedrooms door and i look at the fucking mess my room is. depressed grad student, ok? keep that in mind. theres dirty clothes all over the floor. actually. let me Show.

as you can see there are Many places for a cockroach to hide. so i decide to remove everything from my room. item by item. until i either find its hiding spot or die trying.

i find the cockroach. or rather, it finds Me.

It sneakily crawls up my leg just as i was about to move my clothing pile.

I scream. It fucks off.

I remove every last fucking thing from my room.

i flip the bed upside down, under it i find a lone galoshe. I figure that's where it was hiding. im too scared to touch it seeing as the thing has already flied several times and tried to CLIMB ME. I'm tired and Already out of my mind. I have no more fucks to give. Scared (still, as always) i sack the boot and throw it off my apartment. like, i just yeet the thing out. lock the door. Look at the clock. its like 3.30. i spent over half an hour hastily empting out my bedroom.

Honestly at that point i wasnt even sure the cockroach was in the boot. i felt i couldnt be sure it was dead until i found the body. it was late, so i called a friend to call down and broke into my roommate's room because my room no longer had furniture in it. I slept in his crusty ass sheets, the very ones he was fucking his very annoying girlfriend on top of a week earlier (he only had 2 sets and he hadnt washed anything bigger than socks in like a month. the apartment was small. his laundry was my business and i was Very Aware of its existence in the middle of the living room). so yeah. they were cummy. they were crusty. it was cracker solid. i could Not care less though.

i slept shittily until 7am. i ran to the store first thing in the morning to get the strongest bug spray i could find and also bug repellent.

I sprayed the entire house. I mean this. The walls were slick with bug spray. You could NOT breathe inside my room. Not even the kitchen was spared. I walked out of it smelling like mothballs and cancer and walked straight to the university so i could study to my effing anatomy test (it was monday, the test was on tuesday), eat and watch my classes.

I did just that. The entire day was unremarkable.

Oh actually. the elderly neighbor complained in the complex whatsapp group about a certain incensitive and unruly neighbor disrupting the peace late in the night. LM fucking AO.

I got home late, but still decided to clean my room from the chemicals. my roommate was home for once, so i told him what was going on, that id be cleaning the house because of the bug spray. I deep cleaned the whole house. I took special care of my room tho. At the end there was nary a speck of dust on my furniture (1 wardrobe, 1 bed, 1 beach chair). my clothes were folded. it smelled CLEAN IN THERE for the first time in weeks. i lit up the bug repelent. it was one of these babes.

I was SURE it was dead. the room had soaked all day in bug spray. i caught every single crevice in that room. i even sprayed INSIDE my box bed. it had to be dead. there was no way it wasnt dead. right???? right???????

i sat on my bed. i changed the sheets so it felt really good. i grabbed my computer and went back to studying. i was just vibing, man. i was just vibing.

The cockroach appeared from nowhere, climbed the wall, got sucked by the fan, flied, whacked me in the face.

I yelled, grabbed the my newly acquired spray can and then yelled some more. Then i remembered my roommate was home. I banged on his door until he opened it. shoved the thing on his face and dragged him into my room (me. tall guy. btw. dense. him, taller guy, confused, thin as a rail. just funny. to keep in mind). he went holy shit, thats big.

he sprayed it and everybodys biggest fear at that moment became true. again. it started flying. again. it went all over the room. he sprayed all over the room. it landed on my pillow, he drenched my freshly washed pillowcase in bug spray. it landed on the window, he sprayed the window until it was no longer see through. it scurried across the floor, he sprayed the floor. it went under my bed. then he stopped. i lifted my bed. he got it with his flipflop.

the evil was finally defeated.

but so was i... my clean sheets man......

[onmymasa22]

I want the shells on a podium on the floor all touching eachother slightly

Maybe a table- white table cloth on the shells like theyre food. The fabric in two places, podium with flowers displayed on cake stand. Maybe another podium with bust- thats also the baking paper.

The flowers in want on a podium as a flower crown- make more this week, make petals

The fabric i need to see about making it work

The bust i can try but im not sure. On another podium with the butterfly petal things coming out.

Maybe the fabric could be twisted. Maybe itll be perfect.

Use white thread.

Finish niar meshi tonight.

Tomorrow

Do flowers

Bring shells and fabric, white thread, needle, maskingtape

Spend two hours hanging up fabric and two hours on the shells

קטע לטקסט 1

. בילדותי כמעט ולא דיברתי, ורציתי עכשיו להישמע. הפרחים שפסלתי משעווה הם דבר שמסמל נשיות וזה שהם בלי מגן מה

קהל הצופים שמחובר לאומץ של נשים.

Shells

Flowers- i want to do three more

Bust- finish tomorrow, figure out how to display it

Paper- i want to buy tomorrow and do when i can

Go to dead sea

Go with elisheva to swing wear leopard top and black flowy skirt

Go with elisheva early to place and do photography on the swing- leopard silk shirt and black skirt i cut with shorts underneath without socks, have my makeup done

Bring face scrub

Print out photos of me on the swing

Buy niar meshi, buy food for the weekend, go to work, shower

Fabric, laundrybasket, powdergeves, tablecloth

Totebag filled with stuff

Flowers

Niar meshi- figure out a way to attach it to the wall

Flowers- figure out a way to display them, make more

Shells- finish packages- today ill be done

Flowers make more- lots more

Tomorrow-

Work on flowers, bring stuff to apartment to work on it

Shells- work one day a week

niar meshi make more and see where i am

Art thats twitsted

I like the tension in the almost. Paint it skin color and then put the sheets on top- they look like flower petals

שמתייחס לחדרי פלאות היסטוריים, אחד המקורי השראה

ליצירת קונכיות, צורות מסתור והתכנסות שמגיעות מעולם המים, שיש לו קשר לנשיות. הקונכיות גם

הצבע הלבן הוא כביכול אילם, אך גם

I wanted to talk about a soft and vulnerable femininity that is also brave and unapologetic in a display that is inspired by cabinet of curiosities which is . In my childhood, i was afraid to speak, and now I want to be heard. In my work I seek the space of the intimate, for example, i sculpted the petals of the petals slowly and delicately for each flower, with my fingers.

The petals are so delicate and breakable, but they are displayed without fear of breaking. To create the shells i pressed my fingers into the material to create shapes that offer concealment and gathering that come from the world of water, which has a connection to femininity. The color white is supposedly silent, but also linked to purity in femininity.

Of course — here’s your text condensed into around 100 words, keeping your emotion and imagery intact:

---

In my childhood, I was afraid to speak; now, I seek to be heard. In my work, I create intimate spaces where vulnerability is strength. I sculpt each flower petal slowly and delicately with my fingers — fragile yet displayed without fear of breaking. To form the shells, I press into the material, shaping spaces of concealment and gathering, drawn from the fluid, feminine world of water. White, often seen as silent, carries a quiet power, tied to purity and femininity. My work speaks softly yet bravely, embodying a tender, unapologetic femininity that refuses to hide.

החומר מקשיב ומחזיק את כל מה שיש לי להגיד.

אני מחפשת כנות ואינטימיות בפעולה האמנותית

רציתי לדבר על נשיות רכה ופגיעה אך אמיצה ובלתי מתנצלת ובתהליך עבודה אני מחפשת אינטימיות. פסלתי כל עלה כותרת של הפרחים באיטיות ובעדינות באצבעותיי- שביר אך מוצג ללא חשש להישבר. זה מחובר לסמל נשיות והאומץ שנדרש. חפנתי חימר בכף ידי והטבעתי את אצבעותי אל תוך החומר לצורות של קונכיות בחיפוש שלי לפעולה האינטימית. הלבן, שנראה לעתים קרובות כשקט, נושא כוח שקט, קשור לטוהר ולנשיות. הקונכיות גם מקושרים להסתרה וחשיפה מעולם המים שקשור לנשיות.

טקסט 2

מסע האמנות שלי התחיל לפני ארבע שנים, מלא בהתרגשות שבלתי ניתנת לעצירה. מעסיק אותי את הקיום של הוויה בין עולמות. קודש וחול, אמריקאית וישראלית, נחמדה ואסרטיבית, יפיפיה קלאסית והיפית מלוכלכת. אני מחפשת כנות. חלק מהזמן, העבודות שלי נובעות בתוך התרגשות או הומור ואני משתמשת באמנות כעוד נתיב להנות מהחיים. ולפעמים היצירה נובעת בתוך צורך שלי לפתוח משהו רגיש לדיולוג כדי להבין את עצמי- את המחשבות שלי ואת הרגשות שלי. אני אוהבת לעבוד עם הידיים ולצייר כי כשבחיים קשה לי לדבר בזכות שפע של חרדה חברתית, החומר תמיד מקשיב ומגיב. הוא מחזיק את מה שיש לי להגיד.

במייל לכתובת

avitalnw@gmail.com ולכתב את המייל המחלקה 0MANUT99@GMAIL.COM

עם כותרת בשורת הנושא של המייל: מכללת אמונה +שם מלא שלך , עד יום שני 21.4, כג' ניסן בחצות

Flowers

Shells

Bust

Papers- do bust

Texts

Landscape painting in a gold frame

I wrote exactly what i want to say. And i dont love that whole conversation. But yah, she told me what to fix. And its ok. I wrote the text that i wanted. This is what i wanted.

Im so tired of this project. I want to do what i want to do. I want for everything to just be. I want to be done with it. Just finished. I want to start doing the things that i want to do.

I want to love life again. I want to paint because i love painting. And sculpt because i love sculpting. I want to make things that i like. I want sculpture painting. I want to drink good coffee, listen to good music, and just vibe away. Good food.

My dear, what you have is called burn out. Burn out from having people constantly knock down ur door and need things from so much so, that u forget what u want. The tears, the exhaustion, the trying to make everyone else happy, the not eating. Now i would say to the me then, "sweetie, thats called burn out. That feeling ur feeling? It's common. Not normal, but common. So lets sit, call it what it is, and figure out a way to put urself back together and move forward".

Do a taarucha full of movement puctures thst r a little blurry

Take camera in the evening or during the day but with slow mehirut

Do acrylic painting, take out bust

פיה פתחה בחכמה

Icecream stand- ice creams, whipped cream, sprinkles, cups, spoons

Spa table- sheet masks, facial spritz, spa music, essential oils, defuser. Cucumbers and lemon water with ice. Dead sea mud mask, face wipes

Really good coffee and pastries and tea and mugs and flowers. Cheese and fruit platter. White table cloth, french music

Pancake table, french toast, strawberries, whipped cream, nutella, orange juice, piano jazz music, coffee

Wedding qr code

Women knew- adam and chava, sarah and avraham, yehuda and tamar,

Lighting candles set

Havdalah set

Caligraphy- piha patcha bchochma

Challah

Nida

Is there water earth fire air- vulnerability.

Sarah earth

Rivka water

Rachel air

Leah earth

No fire- masculine or its the shchina

Fire-

Earth scars

Mikva lightingcandles challah and davening

She told me to play with objects as different versions of self portrait, and take pics. Also make more stuff

כותרת שם עבודה

שאלת מחקר:

What are the similarities and differences in watercolor art made by famous artists in the 18th and 19th centuries in England.

ראשי הפרקים של העבודה

Chapter 1: Watercolor painting in the 18th century using the works of Sandby and Girtin

Chapter 2: Watercolor painting in the 19th century using the works of Turner and Constable

Chapter 3: compare and contrast of watercolor paintings in the 18th and 19th centuries.

סקירת ספרות

הצגת ממצאים- תשובות שהגעתי עליהם

מסכנות על הפרקים

המניעים האישיים לבחירת נושא העבודה- למה בחרתי בזה

מגבלות העבודה

איפה בית פוגש כבוד- בבית המקדש זה בית. בוריס שץ- מוזיאון אמנות הוא בית מקדש

In watercolor painting, the 19th century saw a shift from the 18th century's emphasis on detailed, often preparatory sketches, to a more expressive and independent medium, with artists like Turner and Constable exploring atmospheric effects and freer brushwork.

18th Century Watercolor:

Purpose: It was used as a sketching tool before large oil paintings and to illustrate botanical or topographical (map) illustrations.

Technique: Special focus on detail, precise lines, accuracy, and realism.

Subject Matter: Landscapes, portraits, and maps

Artists: Paul Sandby (father of english watercolor)

Context: Watercolor was a relatively new and unconventional medium. Oil painting was considered more prestigious.

19th Century Watercolor:

Purpose: Artists now used watercolor to capture fleeting moments, effects of the atmosphere, and emotional responses to nature.

Technique: Freer brushwork with rougher, more textured paper. The development of paint cakes in 1781 made watercolor painting more accessible and popular in the 19th century.

Subject Matter: Landscapes, seascapes, and portraits, with a greater emphasis on capturing the mood and atmosphere of a scene.

Notable Artists: Joseph Mallord William Turner, John Constable

Context: Watercolor painting gained popularity and recognition because of the formation of the Royal Watercolor Society in 1804. This gave watercolor paintings the status as a distinguished medium.

מצגת תיק עבודות

מצגת תיעוד של הביקורות אמצע וטקסט

טקסט חצי עמוד ביבליוגרפיה ומה דרכי אמנותית

תיאור הסמינר

טקסט של ביקורת אמצע:

הכנתי מיצב שמבוסס על כמה עבודות של פיסול.. הרעיון שלי הוא לייצור עולם שנוגע בנשיות כפי שאני רואה אותה, הטבע של האישה. יחד עם זה, היה לי חשוב לגעת בקשר שלי עם דיבור. הכיוון שלי הוא למצוא את הקול הנשית שבי, הכנות, הטהור, הנקי, החוסר של פחד בלהישבר.

להראות את זה, עבדתי עם החומרים שעווה, גבס, נייר משי, ודס. משעווה, הכנתי פרחים. מגבס, הכנתי יציקת גוף של האיזור הגרון ושמראה נשיות בעדינות, העצמות של הצוואר. עבדתי עם ניירות משי וקמטתי אותן אחת אחת, ומדס הכנתי קונכיות.

טקסט חצי עמוד ביבליוגרפיה:

שמי דליה. אני גדלתי בשיקגו בארצות הברית. בגיל 20, עליתי לארץ לבד ועשיתי שנתיים שירות לאומי. שנה אחת בבית ספר חינוך מיוחד ושנה בשערי צדק במחלקת פנימית. חזרתי לחו"ל למשך שנה להחליט מה ללמוד, לעבוד ולחסוך כסף, ולהיות עם המשפחה בעקבות הנגיף הקרונה. החלטתי בשנה שהייתי בבית ללמוד אמנות, להשקיע ביצירה בתקופה הקרובה בחיים שלי (התלבטתי בין אומנות לסיעוד). אני מוצאת את עצמי המון בין עולמות. חוצניקית, ישראלית. דתייה, חילונית. יהדות, ותרבות המערב. עדינה, מפחידה. ילדה ואישה. אני מתעסקת בדרך כלל בחומרים ובציורים עם טקסטורות שונות.

שבוע שעבר לא היה מוצלח. שבוע הזה אני מחר באה למכללה לעשות את היציקה על הגוף

חמישי אני אלך למכללה לעבוד על הפרחים

ושישי מוצש אני אכין את הקונכיות

I could clean my butt with his words

I dont think i need them. I listened today what the teachers had to say. I don't really know the point of any of that. They didn't really tell me anything new or important.

For the next three weeks- work on more shells

Work on more flowers

Work on bust and parts

Work on writing with each thing

Wednesday- buy clay, work on shells- make fifteen, work on flowers

Friday- work on bust

Work on pros

Work on paintings

Work on shells

Work on נייר משי

Work on jugs and bust

Maybe work on jugs- buy more clay and make three jugs

vases to see if that's a something

Maybe canvas thats kind of like skin . Edges off with that material

5 paintings maybe on women in the torah

Seashells

Neck declatashe bust

Flowers from wax

Feminine delecate fine

White table cloth

Soft

Ethereal ephemeral

Showing and not showing

Cochava yitzchak

Shoulder hair ankle

Pearlessent in the paintings

One bust

היא אמרה לי להתחיל לכתוב על מה שחושבת על האיזור הזה של נשיות ונקיות טהור וdelecate.

She said that the shells saltwater connects venus and tissues women cry.

ישבתי עם עצמי אתמול והיום והכנתי לעצמי לוז וסקיצות על אופציות שיראה החלל בביקורת אמצע. שאני אשמח להתייעץ איתך על זה וכל יום לשלוח ולשאול. אני יכולה לשלוח לך את הסקיצות. חשבתי על חומרים ודברים שבונה אינטימיות, ודברים שהייתי שמה בחדר פלאות שלי. טול הבד, איזורים של הגוף, פרחים, כנפיים של פרפר, הקונכיות.

אז ככה

היום אני מכינה כמות של הקונכיות

מחר אני רוצה לעבוד עם החלקים של הגוף שלי עם תכבושות גבס עם המדיום אקריל שקניתי לעשות את זה יותר חלק ולעבוד עם נייר משי

יום חמישי אני רוצה לעבוד על קנבס עם המדיום

שבוע הבא אני רוצה לתת את כל השבוע לעבודה עם שעווה

ואני רוצה לתת את שבוע שאחרי להצבה בחלל- שמו אותי בגלרייה

50 shells- do tonight

Tomorrow

50 butterflies

Bust- tomorrow

Thursday

Next week

50 Flowers

Tulle, shelf, clear string

The torah over and over and over again says -listen to the woman sje knows what shes talking about!

Adam and chava

Avraham and sarah

Yehuda and tamar

Rus and boaz

Chana and eli

I want delicate, feminine, quiet, saying itball but saying nothing. Maybe couples feminine

Go to school on semester break to oil paint

Have tea

Work with clay

Cool thing about sukkos because im doing research on clouds. In the midbar, there were two types clouds. One was just called clouds- that pretected us from the heat and the elements and flattened the ground. When aron died, the clouds of glory left and we didnt complain like wjen the water stopped when miriam died. Why? Because when it talks about ananei hakavod, its different clouds with an entirely different purpose. The ananei hakavod were clouds whose only purpose was to honor us and hashem loving us. Being so in love with us. And thats the sukkah. Its not a shelter, it has holes in the roof. Because we dont get any physical pleasure from it. It doesnt shelter us from the rain. Its not supposed to. Its about being so proud to be jewish and being so loved by hashem. Hes just inlove with us and that honor is what we celebrate with our head high. We are the jewish nation.

Every year on shmini azeres and simchas torah its going into the world from gan eden, going into israel from the desert. Its shabbos going into the week. Its the dont go- go situation over and over and over again

I want to make a ma tovu- on a paper

Look up the dudaim

Mermaids unicorns

Magic coat

Elements

Stuff in the mishkan

Do acrylic painting of a forest but the sky is ripply fabric

I want an old hollywood style

Brown and orange and blush and cream

Make light fixture out of נייר פרגמנט

Make lamp shade out of coffee filters

Work on first acrylic painting- ripple sky- fabric to make textured art

I want to paint the rav kook

Vibrations

Oil pastel

Silk painting

Diyo

Watercolor

Charcoal

Gir

Acrylic

Clay

Dry pastel

Collect materials

Pour painting

Pen drawing

Earth pastel

Nature painting

Make vessles- what trauma does to a vessle

Handmade paper

Ethereal

Candles

Clouds

Heaven

Shells as part of the table

Make natural dyes and natural pigments and paints

Oil- gesso paints brushset

Acrylic-

Dry pastel

Oil pastel

Watercolor- paints brushes paper glassjars

Ink- ink brushes paper glassjars

Charcoal- chacoal paper

Silk painting- silk paints

Sculpture- sculptingtools clay

Write

Play music

Collect pieces of trees

Sculpture of a voicebox

Use rocks wood clay

Trees

Ariel

What does the voicebox look like

Gan eden

Trees

The tree of life

The tree of wisdom

You know what i want

I want to sleep

I want to just make trees

I want to make these two trees

The eitz hachayim

And the eitz hadaat

Olive wood

Cedar wood

Sounds- spa, handpan, cool jazz.

Gan eden

Elements

I hate that i dont have windows. I hate that i dont have air going through.

I dont need air. But hashem please figure it out that someone will leave and ill get their room. Please. I cant spend the whole year here. Hashem please. Figure out my life so i dont need to stay here. Maybe ill do nights there and then wake up and drink coffee there. Thats fine.

In the bathroom theres a window and air

Buy maskingtape

fixative

Work on watercolor painting and ink

And work on silk painting

Get palette and brush set, gesso, work on oil painting and acrylic painting

Camera paintingstuff

I want to do silk painting. I want to sit in greece and paint chiffon like the ocean.

Paint the silk like the water I see- take silk, tablecloth, silk paints, watercup, paintbrushes, mixing palette

I want to do silk painting, watercolors, calligraphy for my project

מענייןצאותי עכשיו את היער נגד המדבר ומה הנוף עושה לי איך הסביבה משפיע עלי

Maybe go to hamitzion to get paintings that were painted on

Buy clay and sculpting stuff

Draw a forest with trees and trees and more trees

Work on

Work on shells- finish the clay

Get fabric to play with and figure out how to make it hard

Listen to rav kook2

Work more on drawing, get fabric at the fabric store- cream colored

Listen to more about the rav kook, see what to do about the rav kook painting

Get cream fabric and harden it on the canvas

Make hard cloud tent

Work on acrylic painting- do it over in some kind of chomer

Make hard cloud- fabric and stuff to harden it

Make the vase turn into something else

Vase- make it into a mermaid tale

The

Make a tent into clouds

Out of wool and linen

Tent

Final project cloud furniture, light fixture, lamp shade, vase, work on earthy tapestry, acrylic with ripply sky

Aniam told me it's like vibrations

Like sound with a tnua

Maybe make wax shells and make more flowers and cloud furniture

I really want a cloud swing

Make: tapestry-earthy, paintings, cloudfurniture, shellglasses, ceiling light- string and glue and big ball or

Discoball

Clock lamp throwblanket

Vases- tachposhot geves

Shells

Drawings

Take wire to make art with tachposhot geves, get geves mix in a bowl.

I want clay with canvas

[starskipper]

hello

not back from my break just tried coming abck and doing another test but everything went to shit and im pretty sure im spiralling over it now so not back officially just came to share notes so they werent rotting in my head then ill leave again and rest

but notes from the test are ten aces drips everywhere and thats difficult cause when i set the silicone to dry the adhesive just drips off and gets on the wrong side then i have to wait days for the adheisve to wear off(i havent figured out a way to get the adhesive off immediatly i just wait and slowly scrub and wipe it off over time tried isopropal and nail polish remover and the silicone adhesive remover nothings working so far) furiious this means ill have to wait days until i can test again especially beacuase im getting a new adhesive tomorow i wanted to test and hopefully it wouldnt have that same dripping problem ive tried making barriers so many times taping around the parts i wanted like a stencil more times then i can count nothings working and nothings working in the sense of finding out how to get the silicone adhesive off either im incredibly furious and stressed also super sick and personaly stuff is going toshit too so thats not helping

i figured if i wrote that ill wait the couple days until testing then ill actually do it and itll be easier to stick too becuase i wrote it here and told my blog so thats really the only reason im updating i hope somone out there actually reads my updates it would make thsi all a little easier if anyone knows how to get silicone adhesive off let me know im so tired and currently really sick and stressed this blows

last thing for people who have periods dont use tampons those have dangerous chemicals in them im to tired to go get the article link just go look it up youll find it you can use things like cups instead just like what it sounds like a little cup that goes up there and holds blood i looked it up a while ago theres lots of options but this is the one where youre not sitting in your blood and you dont need something surgically implanted so i thought you guys would like this the most these should be washed after every week of blood with soap and water or boiled like a toy every cup has different instructions(confusing honestly) lunettes the only one i can speak on ssaw some good reviews(i cant really actually speak on in terms of using ususally i try to test these things but well i only have so many parts so i physically cant test this one sorry but not really i wouldnt want to test this bleeding sounds painful and i dont want that part personal preference)

wayy tired forgot most of what i was going to say hoenstly wish me luck im really going through it rn in so many different ways all the ways at once honestly im going to drink some water you should also drink some water and medicate take care

[fraener]

2/7/24

had very hard week just now...h got sick and it freaked me out so bad that i made myself sicker than him with worry. my anxiety absolutely consumed me, it began last weekend with a series of small anxiety attacks that i managed just fine with and then a terrible multi day panic attack from h getting sick. my ibs was the worst its ever been and i felt so awful i couldnt calm down no matter what i did. i kept having recurring dreams of evading getting sick and then just having to accept it was goin to happen to me...i wanted to believe it was a dream drought and they werent premonitory but in the end i got sick too! it was such a cathartic experience i still cant fully believe it happened...it was physically unpleasant for sure but h took such good care of me i honestly had an amazing time. i didnt get even as sick as he did with it but i was sick for a bit longer like usual, somehow i get through things low and slow these days whereas he gets through then fast and hard. i think today my stomach is finally all the way back to normal. im glad i didnt actually throw up but at the same time theres a lot of parts of me that are really disappointed it didnt happen because it would have been extra cathartic if it had. from this ive managed to get a little bit of peace. im still feeling bothered from my ibs episode, therapist says i have to go to the doctor about it and im sort of frightened to do that. not only because im scared theyll find something, but also because the imaging procedures are often unpleasant and scary...still struggling with pttm and d/m trying to override everything. but i had a flash of wanting to draw something for the first time in over a year which was huge, and while i was sick i felt full of excitement and freedom, and yesterday evening i walked for a long time to the northernmost point in the twin bays and the sky felt so broad and i felt so calm like i did in the field behind the radio station on the island or home at my grandmas in co... big sense of peace right around the corner. im changing little by little and coming back to myself after a long time. i saw white salal and pink hazel flowers and the osoberry and snowdrops and witch hazel and red flowering currant are all blooming now. the chorus frogs are croaking. spring is frighteningly early this year but for some reason i feel ok about it. im really nervous itll be terribly terribly hot this summer, like the first summer i lived in this apartment. i suppose all i have to do is wait and see. it would be poetic for the last summer to be like the first one. im graduating this summer, i dont know what to do with myself next. im trying not to think of it being so big and empty on the other side of that. somehow i still never got to do all of the things i wouldve liked to here, not like in high school where i managed everything i wanted and more. ive been having dreams about r again recently, i suppose hes on my mind. i saw him from afar a couple of times in the last week or so. the runes and cards say we have some kind of unknown relationship that isnt approachable yet but is bubbling and forming under the surface in a big way, but undetermined in its gestation because neither of us know what we want from one another. another thing to wait and see about. i want to let go and paint again.

[yeoldotcom]

hehe there has been a sp**er in my room for the past week. i'm sure some of you knew. however, my brother came at me with some NEWS that he apparently killed it. so now we shall check. if it is safe, i will be able to nap again. if it isn't, i'm gonna scream.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

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