#if it gets stuck in their butts 😂

[doodle-pops]

Do elves fart?

I don't why know, but I can tell this has been on your mind for a while now. It just seem like it's been stewing for some time, waiting for the right moment to be released.

But yeah, I don't see why anyone wouldn't believe elves fart or burp. As ethereal as we consider them, they're pretty normal. If they eat and drink, they gotta burp and fart. However, they probably won't let it out like how the dwarves and men would. They're quite serious on proper etiquette

[carnal-lnstinct]

I saw that you write for Trunks but does that include Future Trunks? Could you write some NSFW Future Trunks x reader? Specifically a reader with a large butt and thighs? I’ve seen plenty of people hc him as a boob man but I think he could be a butt guy too 😁 if this doesn’t strike you as inspirational no problem! Just thought I would ask! Thank you 😊

😭 I'm too lazy to specify all the variations and just put "Trunks" as the universal for A. Trunks/GT Trunks, Future Trunks, and Xeno Trunks...Maybe EoZ Trunks? As far as NSFT writing goes, he's 18 here if I remember correctly.

While I am not currently taking requests (definitely feel free to throw this back at me when I do reopen requests for a proper fic), this stuck with me and I had to sit and think about it. I could see the variations of Trunks having the opposite preferences with Xeno Trunks being the wild card who bases his preferences on visual representation and flip-flops based on what's in front of him or who he currently likes. Also an easily pussy-whipped service top that I don't think I can articulate beyond "saiyan genes" at this moment, but it feels right

Future Trunks = Boob guy Adult/GT Trunks = Big Booty guy like his dad

So I gotta side with the others on this one for Future Trunks.😂

F. Trunks knowing he can have access to an s/o with a big booty and thick thighs is going to intimidate him. He was already crushing on you and peeping out your chest despite trying his best not to, but to be given permission to touch you anywhere is going to open his eyes to the possibility of what it would be like to hold your hips or ass in his hands.

He's chivalrous enough to look but not touch, so initially he learns to keep his hands behind him when he's close to you so as not to accidentally bump your hips with his large hand. Again.

You basically have to take his hands and make him feel every curve to get him used to it. While he's blushing up to his ears and his eyes can't seem to leave the way your chest is pressed against him, his hands fall in love with the plush and malleable texture of your cheeks. Your ass feels alive in his hold with every wiggle.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep3 - Random Musings (Spoilers)

This was the best S2 ep by far; they're just getting better & better. I have so much to say; I can't even keep up. This is just the random stuff I don't have AS MUCH to comment on (yet).

AMC, we GOTTA get some flashbacks of Papa DPDL. We know so much about Les' folks, but nothing about Lou's pops. :(

Not "Real Rashid" going bar for bar vs Sartre abt morality & evil!? 👏

"Wolf Wrangler," I hate this effing show so much, please stop it.

SANTIAGO BACKSTORY LFG; we're finally being fed!

Ohhhhh.... Francis "Santiago" Naughton, I see~! They're definitely leaning into the Sant-"iago" of it all from Othello--nice touch!

1921--Santiago's a BABY vampire. (And omg he loved Annika's "performance" so much that he incorporated it into his regular lineup! Sickos! XD) I saw the Siophmedia review call it the Mimic Gift, which I love--expanding the AR lore.

Thoughts & prayers to this dude, being stuck for all eternity as an old man; relegated to backstage work with the noob stuck for all eternity as a little girl. (Hilarious how this is in blatant violation/disregard of Marius & Rhosh's Great Law #2 about beauty.)

Vampires sneeze?! 😂 Estelle is the ONLY Theatre vamp I like, bless!

ROTFLMFAO. Humor on this show comes from the WILDEST of places; I love it.

Someone's saaaaaaltyyyyyy~! 👀👀👀👀

Welp, now we know where Louis'll spend "ETERNITY IN A BOX," when they drag him in that burlap sack.

Louis' a strong independent man don't need no coven! 😤👏 Especially not you WEIRDOS. Monsieur LDPDL would NEVER allow anyone to make him act like a clownish BUFFOON on some stage, or write/film creepshows everyone points and laughs at, are you crazy?

Louis said SKILL ISSUE. 💀

Don't act coy now! XD You go and OWN your bussypowers, Louis of Troy! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I am STUNNED this trash liar won a Pulitzer for investigative journalism. Truly a dying industry.

Armand, my love, you have no idea. 👀

Deflection & misdirection, as usual with these vamps.

SHADE.

Roget the "FIRST" eh?... 🧛🏼 This completely removes Nicki as the founder of the Theatre, but I guess it makes sense that Armand would be the one communicating with Roget, cuz lord knows Nicki wasn't "fit to pick an apple off a tree in his current state...." 👀👐 Louis, Armand's fed you a crock of lies; don't be fooled by his pretty doe eyes! You were SET UP, my guy; he was SICK of that coven for hundreds of years; WAY b4 Lestat AND YOU showed up!

Then he hangs Lestat's portrait on the wall as a shrine and says he's their co-founder, while breathing not a word about how Lestat gave the Theatre TO NICKI, NOT ARMAND. Where's Nicki at, Armand!? 👀👐 Where's Claudia at, Armand!? 👀☀️ Why do all of Lestat's fledglings go missing under YOUR supervision, Mr. I Could Not Prevent It? I swear, those 🥺👉👈 eyes are lethal weapons!

STUNT QUEEN. Behind every gay man is a gayer, more evil man!

And he took that PERSONALLY.

Siri, google when butt-plugs were first invented.

Armand's FACE! 😭 Yeah, Lou don't make a lick of sense sometimes. Thank god he's pretty! But for every ounce of pretty there's another TONNE of mental trauma. If I were Armand, I'd've cut my losses and left Lou's arse to "Bruce" right then & there. Now look at you!

Incredible episode. 👏

Preview for Ep4:

I hate it here. 😱

I'm sorry, but I simply CANNOT with Loumand, knowing what's coming. I never have, and at this rate I NEVER WILL! Armand, I don't care what weird dynamics you & Lou are always up to, but by putting your hands on MY daughter!? DISHONOR!

Armand, Louis is right: you just earned yourself a spot on my hit list.

I'll rant about Loumand specifically in a separate post--this ep was A LOT, omg I'm exhausted.

[bobbydagen24]

a few more possible episode ideas for another show.

its Floyd's Birthday and the brothers are all excited to plan a big surprise party for him JD Bruce and Clay all excitedly decorate the place with stuff they know Floyd likes and talk about their personalised gifts for him.

meanwhile Branch's excited smile slowly fades as he realises he doesn't actually remember anything that Floyd liked or any of the other bros due to being too young when they left.

anyway long story short at Floyd's party after he acts grateful to the others for their gifts and ideas Branch gets embarrassed since he didn't even know where to start and he leaves the party.

Floyd goes after Branch to talk on their own and when Branch tells him what's up and that he somewhat feels like a stranger in his own family due to how young he was when they left.

so he doesn't really remember anything specific about them but Floyd light-heartedly lets him in on a secret that he actually doesn't like any of that stuff anymore.

he just didn't say anything cause he didn't wanna hurt his brothers feelings and ruin the moment when really he's just happy that he's celebrating this birthday with them all back together.

but the simple fact is the things his brothers are all remembering are from over 20+ years ago when he was a young teenager he's changed almost completely since then.

and so have the rest of them except for JD lol but with all the others they've all been slowly realising that they aren't the same people who they last saw when they were teenagers.

and there's been plenty of trial and error Branch just hasn't noticed it so their all fairly new to each other due to their time apart.

but that isn't ever gonna change unless they take the time to get to know each other in the present.

so they both agree to go back to the party and make more of an effort.

2. another one is where Branch ends up hearing maybe from these bird creatures he talks to where he kinda has a long wide communication network set up all in the name of safety of course.

and one of his Bird contacts tells him that they talked to another creature that witnessed Chef's death at the end of the first film.

since ya know the last time our main characters saw her she was tumbling down the hill with her butt stuck in the cooker while on fire so they didn't actually see her get eaten like we the audience did.

so they assumed she was likely still alive all this time up until now anyway the news of her confirmed death makes Branch go around the village in a very joyous mood.

singing for no reason handing out snacks to random people and just being very cheery Poppy tries to ask him if he wants to talk about anything but Branch says what would he want to talk about?

he's happier than he's ever been anyway Poppy tells his brothers behind his back that she's worried about him but they don't really see it and think he's just reasonably happy over finding out a crappy person got their just desserts.

anyway Branch goes even more over the top in his happy shenanigans saying they should all throw a big party in the village to celebrate with a giant banner reading

"" ding dong the witch is dead ""

anyway despite poppy being even more worried and all of the brothers actually starting to feel a little worried as well except for JD who thinks the parties a great idea. 😂😂😂😂

the big party goes ahead and Branch gets pretty wasted ( on sugar ) and gets up onto stage to make a big speech with Poppy very nervously trying to talk him down since he's clearly crashing.

but Branch after saying a few things that makes everyone uncomfortable stops and thinks to himself and then kinda takes a deep breath and speaks more from the heart.

he says that he spent practically all of his life afraid and hurt and even as he got better he always thought that certain things would fix him or make him feel more whole.

but despite Chef being dead and even despite them all being at peace with the Bergens now he still feels just as afraid as he used to and he still feels the pain he's lived with his whole life.

he thought knowing she was gone would kinda close the book on that part of his life and wrap it all up in a neat little bow and allow him to finally move on completely.

but he just felt the exact same as he always has done and he kinda went into denial over it trying to convince himself everything was better for him now.

3. this one was inspired by an idea j-ad1 had in the comments section of one of my Gary posts anyway the plot is that.

the Bros get annoyed/kinda wierded out by how Branch takes Gary with him everywhere and is constantly smugly chattering on and on about the things Gary can do to the point the Bros find it very annoying and also kinda weird.

so they take Gary in the middle of the night and maybe try to play it off as some kinda animal that broke into the Bunker and dragged him away or something.

their hoping that even if Branch will be a little annoyed at first he'll quickly get over it and kinda cure him of his weird obsession with an inanimate object.

only for Branch to begin an obsessive search for Gary to the point he becomes even more unhinged and eventually even breaks down over it which his bros didn't expect they just sorta thought he'd be a little annoyed that he was lost but then he'd get over it and move on.

so it actually surprises them to see him so genuinely upset over Gary's absence and maybe his brothers even ask why it means so much to him and he finally tells them about how Gary was what comforted him during the years he spent hiding away.

when he had no one else and he made him feel safe whenever he was afraid which knowing Branch was nearly every single day given how paranoid he was over the Bergens finding them.

and it made him feel like he did have some sorta family around him back when he had no one and that yeah he knows some people think its kinda weird.

despite his rep as the village's crazy person he isn't actually entirely oblivious to how it looks.

anyway to end the episode I'd have Bro zone realise they were wrong and they go to retrieve Gary from the place they Dumped him only to realise he actually has been taken by a pack of animals this time.

and they actually have to go to a bit of effort retrieving him from the pack of animals getting themselves a bit torn up in the process and in the end they give Gary back to Branch and he's so grateful that they got him back which makes the bros feel pretty bad.

and they fess up to what they did and apologise with maybe the episode ending on a bit of a comedic note of them promising to do whatever it takes to make it up to Branch.

and it ends with him making them do really hard chores around his Bunker while Gary watches on in a chair with a nice little drink to his side. 😂😂😂😂

[spiribia]

my twisted fantasy made up legendary bugsnak that appears at the culmination of a sidequest where you get beffica and cromdo to bond a bit more. completing this quest chain will bolster their affinity in the finale and increase their survival chances.

there's an alleged 'wishing pond' containing a hoard of golden coins guarded by a legendary dragon. it's said the dragonfruit / dragonfly creature gorged itself on the wishes of generations of grumpuses. beffica wants to eat it to know everyones wishes (she considers it "juicy gossip"), and cromdo wants its hoard of gold. they butt heads over their shared destination until the journalist intervenes and convinces everyone to work together.

it turns out the coins aren't real coins. they're little chocolate gold coin / ladybug snax. they have 'spots' on both sides of their body, through which their singular set of six legs can be retracted or extended on either side, meaning they never technically get stuck on their back. however, the side of the coin facing up alters how the bug behaves toward the player (either shy or aggressive). a little joke about flipping a coin for you !!! 😂

when beffica eats the legendary, it turns out that there were no wishes associated either, it's just a regular bugsnak. maybe unusually tasty. everyone decides to cut their losses by ceremonially turning the regular pond into a wishing pond for real. cromdos like I wish for world peace and befficas like Wait really? thats kinda sweet, i totally thought you'd-- and cromdos like Nah i lied LOLL i wish for A TON OF MONEY! hehehe. later suckers! & then he runs off. beffs like LOL alright. well what did you wish for journalist. and you can choose to tell her or not. those are the only two options, there's no specific wish. she won't tell you what she wished for either way, but if you choose to tell her yours, she'll laugh and be like OK I'll give you a hint: mine came true.

[destinyc1020]

The whole conversation around these actors is getting kind of cringe. We defend and stick up for actors and people we like. From Tom,Zendaya,Timothee,Austin, and Florence, all brilliant in their own right. None of the conversations are objective anymore. It's putting one down to uplift the other. The barometer of success moves from actor to actor from nominations to box office😂

Can't it just be as simple as, if you like the film then cool,if you didn't then that's also cool. Your previous anon doesn't like Austin, and that's OK😂. I really liked Bike Riders!! Tom Jodie and Austin are all actors I like, but how do we judge its success? If it gets noms? Its box office was really poor! But I liked it so I'm choose to believe it's a good movie. It's that simple

Thank you Anon! 👏🏾

To me, it's all so silly.

And you're right lol... the goal posts move depending on which actor fans are talking about rofl 🤣

If fans are talking about Timothée, then the measure of "success" is on film award nominations/wins, working with certain prestigious directors, staying "booked and busy" 💅🏽, doing obscure pretentious indie films, being Film Twitter's "darling", and the positive film reviews of critics lol.

But if fans are talking about Tom, then the measure of "success" is with box office numbers, fandom size, how much money is in the bank account, how famous and well-known the actor is, and the actor's ability to "put butts in seats" rofl...

It's all so dumb and lame imo. 🙄😒

Anyway, I'm like you Anon, fans need to just like whoever they like and call it a day! 🥴 It's NOT that serious. It's especially not that serious enough to be getting all angry and close to having an aneurism trying to put down other actors and hate on other actors just to make your fave look good. 🥴

Re: "The Bikeriders"

I actually enjoyed the film also! 😊 Didn't expect to like it as much as I did, seeing as how I know NOTHING about that world, and didn't have much interest in it before seeing the movie lol. 😅

Ironically, despite a box office that was nothing to write home about (I'm sure being stuck btwn two sequel franchise films, "Bad Boys: Ride or Die" and "Inside Out 2 didn't help either lol), the Bikeriders movie is actually doing pretty well on streaming on Peacock! 😅 So, go figure, I guess? Lol

[halfetirosie]

😂❤️🏝️ Pure Dumb Fun and Romcom Nonsense 🏝️❤️😂

(Exercise 07 - 09 React-os!)

1) I truly adore the running joke about Eiden's infamous naming skills 😂

Like, the second they hear an unnecessarily long, cringey name, they just know who is to blame.

2) PFFFFT! 🤣🤣🤣

Eiden over here being so horny that he forgot that Quincy built like a goddam brick wall---

3) THE EMOTION MUSIC OVER THIS PART IS SENDING MEEEEE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"Trouble-averse ass...."

Eiden, babes. This might be an intense sports competition, but it really isn't that serious...

4) QUINCY USING THE POWER OF HUGS!!!

I'm so fuckin jealous!!!

As long as you're not barreling towards him top-speed, I bet Quincy Hugs™ are top tier. I've said it many times, and I'll say it again---I WANT TO GIVE QUINCY A HUG, I JUST KNOW HE GIVE THE BEST HUGS EVER---so Eiden better be fully appreciative!

Lucky bastard!!! 😤😤😤

5) I'm convinced the Devs are trying to kill us all with these visual gags---

(Side note---On a scale of one to ten, how likely is it that they only made Quincy's SSR holding a bottle in order to include this particular visual gag during the story event? :D)

6) S....STINKY FIEND....

GET DUNKED ON, DANTE!!!! 😂😈

I love it when Eiden responds to Dante's Tsundere Bullshit™ with an Uno Reverse card and they just end up arguing in the dumbest way possible! ♡♡♡

And my boi Dante is always getting stuck with the absolute worst nicknames---ala Lord Jackass---and it's just so beautiful!!! 🤣🤣🤣

It's like everyone silent agree that this guy, this lil' fucker right here, shall forever be the #1 target for teasing!!!

7) PFFFFFT!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

♡♡♡ CRINGEFAIL DORITOMAN, MY BELOVED!!! ♡♡♡

Leave it to Dante to grab Eiden's ass completely by accident!

The sudden realization tho..... It's a work of art.....

This is the most Aggressively Anime-Tropey thing I have ever seen....

(It's like that part where I guy trips and ends up grabbing a girl's boobs... Except, you know, gayer.)

8) Morvay, sweetie, you're not helping the situation....

Okay but, it's safe to assume that there's some children in the audience of this event, right? Is it okay for him to be calling attention to this "licentious" situation??? (I know that kids probably wouldn't even know what that word means, but some of the older ones could figure it out by context clues....)

9) Danteeeee, my Touch-Starved King!!!!!

He's basically an overgrown kid experiencing his first crush, not sure how to even function, and it's SO FUCKIN CUTE!!!

LOOK AT HIM!!!!

Babes is so flustered that he's pulling An Edmond and blaming his feelings on Eiden.... IT'S SO ENDEARING I, I CAN'T HANDLE IT...

10) This is not important at all, but somehow I can vividly picture Eiden absolutely dominating at high school dodgeball 😎

He's just got that scrappy energy to him---I picture him as a well-liked social butterfly that everyone knew, and had insane skills at the most random things like dodgeball....Is that too specific? Just me? Bah, whatever. It's just fun to imagine.

( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

11) I suspect that if we made a drinking game after every time some pulled A Father during this event (suddenly attempting to block someone's nudity/compromising pose), we'd all get severe alcohol poisoning..... 😅

Nah but, didn't Eiden create this swimsuits/outfits? Why the fuck did he choose a material that gets see-through when wet??? When they would be competing in front of a huge crowd?????

Seems like a severe oversight...

12) OHHHHH, okay, that makes more sense!

I'm sorry for doubting your honor, Eiden!

I guess they loaded the water balloons with a special potion that causes the transparency.

Still unsure if that was a good idea, but okay bubs.... 🤷‍♀️

13) Eiden's heroic sacrifice! 😂😂😂

Bless Garu's little heart, he's such an angel!!!! 😂😂😂 Whole-heartedly reassured Eiden over something so dumb and sillyyyy!!!!

14) Yeah.... I was rooting for my boi Dante, but I could see this coming 😅

I mean, our dude basically flashed his butt to everyone, so I suppose he deserves a win for all of that trouble 😅😅😅

15) EIDEN, YOU'RE SUCH A CHAMP!!! AN ABSOLUTE TROOPER!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If I had a nickel for every time Eiden exposed himself to a group of people in order to spare a clan member's dignity, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

(First during Fanciful Capriccio--sparing Dante in the story of The Emperor's New Clothes--and then now. Expect, During Fanciful Caprissio they were stuck in an illusion, so technically the crowd wasn't real, but I think it still counts.)

🏝️ End of report! 🏝️

[goldenstring6123]

Considering we haven't a kiss memory like the other guys. I have this headcanon that Sylus & MC have been dancing around each other like this torturous will they won't they. Like these two have been loosing sleep that they somehow haven't smooched at this point. Like can you imagine the torture? 😆😆

Permission to integrate this headcanon into my long fic? 🥺🤲

Its a very plausible headcanon but it would be even funnier if Sylus is the one making the moves but he gets cockblocked every time by nature or by Luke and Kieran. Sylus gets frustrated at every failed attempt but MC is just swooning, expecting and overthinking in her own bed like a teenager's first relationship.

Lololol this has high comedic potential with the twins involved especially if they're doing it on purpose 😂😂😂

It's also very unfair at how we don't get a kiss memory for Sylus but then again at least we got stuck in a locker with him and we get to see his man boobs and bubble butt up close. Fair trade if I do say so myself 😎👍

[one-half-guy]

I've been thinking about Lilac again, specifically related to Silver and Espio taking her to visit Blaze's dimension. I think she'd love the idea of a cool and pretty princess living in a big castle and fighting pirates <3 And Blaze, if a bit awkward at first about suddenly having a child flutter around her and asking all sorts of questions, no doubt immediately grows fond of Lilac, in her own slightly withdrawn way. Plus, Silver and Espio are always happy to have Blaze come and babysit their daughter, since she's so responsible and all. Though Marine and Lilac might result in shenanigans galore that no doubt send Blaze's entire guard in a frenzy👀😂

Lilac being babysitted by Blaze in her dimension? Hehe, I bet she will love it, I can't not see the little one amusedly asking Blaze all sorts of questions while the latter show her the palace, I figure even if a bit awkward Blaze will tell her all sorts of stories, getting increasingly more enthusiastic and even nostalgic as she recalls the tales she so much heard and read herself in the past.

And if Lilac get to see Blaze in action? Total awe I figure, her pretty aunt princess is also a cool fiery fighter kicking effortlessly the metal butts of the evil doers pirate robots and she'll totally brag of that to the other children when she come back home, although I doubt they will believe in that easily, poor one 😔 not that she is bothered by it, she knows her auntie is the coolest and prettiest princess in all the worlds she's visited (which by record, are two) and that's enough 😁

Meanwhile, while it's utterly amusing to get babysitted by Blaze, I figure Lilac soon finds some drawbacks as Blaze will be completely stuck to the mission to ensure her protection and wellbeing over all, what means prevent her of doing everything deemed as cool dangerous and awesome risky, which is totally what makes her bond almost automatically with Marine, the Even-Cooler-Auntie who is captain of her own ship and crew and oftenly is tasked by Blaze to help getting some much important artifacts, especially, but not limited to, the Sol Emeralds...

Marine surely gets the title the day Blaze tasks her to go some ominous place holding some other scepter or jewel with great powers, surely aimed by Eggman Nega's pirate robots and promptly orders her to stay in a room (Blaze's own? A guest room Blaze made exclusive to Lilac?) with her guards keeping an eye on the door and Marine sneaks by the outside to the window and says "Psst, hey kiddo! Wanna go too? I can make sure Blaze and your dads won't ever know."

Except Blaze does learn that sooner or later and receives both with a mean lecture, she was unsure about lecture Lilac in the start? Maybe, but as Espio and Silver came she quickly realized she had the permission (especially if Silver asked for the location to fly there to get his daughter back immediately 🤣)

Despite that case, even if it repeats once in a while, Espio and Silver are happily allowing Lilac to go back there as Blaze continues to happily welcome her ☺️

[jj-nhlgirly]

Summer of Love:- Mother Nature

Jack Hughes x F!Reader

AN:- This was requested so thank you anon for submitting!! I have a few requests in my inbox and I promise I’m getting around to them so thank you for all being so patient with me!! 🫶🏼 I decided to change the request slightly and made it into a prank.

I have also received another request for a Kenzie x Jack period fic so I will write a follow up to this 🫶🏼

I have also added the song I had in mind for Kenzie’s favourite song which just so happens to be my favourite song 😂

TW:- swearing, cramps, mentions of contraception, periods and I think that’s it.

(Not my gif, credits to whoever made this)

Mackenzie awoke to hushed whispers and a cold bed, peaking one eye open she saw the back of Jack and Kaylee standing on Jack's side of the bed.

“Jack she’ll be fine if you leave to work out with the boys” Kaylee whispered, Jack sighed “I’m just worried about her.”

“I know you are but I promise she’ll be fine, I’ll be here with her” Kaylee tried to hide her smile but failed. “Why are you smiling like that?” Jack tilted his head as he asked. “It’s cute how much you care about her” Kaylee shook her head, before patting Jack's shoulder and climbing into bed with Kenzie, pulling her into a cuddle.

Jack smiled before leaving the room, Kaylee looked down at Mackenzie, “you can stop pretending to be asleep now” Kaylee teased, Mackenzie sighed.

“What’s up chicken butt?” Kaylee pulled Kenzie gently towards her more, “nothin’ just feeling a little shitty today” Mackenzie groaned as she felt a slight cramp. Kaylee frowned “what’s going on?”

“I think Mother Nature is making her presence known soon” Mackenzie sighed, “but you’re on the pill, is this your week off it?” Kaylee asked confused, yeah, I stopped taking it 4 days ago, so I should start my period either tomorrow or the day after” Mackenzie replied.

“How about I go get you a hot water bottle and we can spend the morning in bed hmm?” Kaylee suggested feeling Mackenzie nod.

Climbing out of bed Kaylee made her way downstairs, she greeted the boys sitting at the dining room table as she walked into the kitchen “Morning boys.”

“Morning again Kay” Jack laughed out, “how’s kenz?” Kaylee rolled her eyes jokingly, “Jack she’s fine just feeling a little shitty this morning.” Jack’s head shot up at that, “shitty? What’s wrong?”

“Mother Nature is making her presence known” Kaylee quoted Kenzie, some of the boys visibly cringed at that making Kaylee laugh. “But she’ll be fine, I’m making her a hot water bottle and we’ll probably spend the morning watching movies” Kaylee tried to reassure Jack. Jack hummed still not looking convinced but carried on eating his breakfast, after making the bottle and waving the boys off Kaylee headed back upstairs.

Pushing the door open slowly, Kaylee saw Kenzie walking around brushing her hair. “Hey bestie, I see you’ve shopped at Jack’s outlet again” Kaylee teased, noticing the change of clothes to a baggy hoodie and boxer shorts Kenzie was sporting.

Mackenzie laughed out “oh do you want a runway of the summer collection? It’s a very exclusive launch” "mmm maybe later, it’s not the right lighting for a good photoshoot” Kaylee shot back, the girls laughed before climbing back into bed. Kaylee resting the heating pad on Kenzie’s stomach, as Kenzie scrolled through Netflix on Jacks TV.

“Hmm what do you wanna watch?” Kenzie mumbled, “gossip girl?” Kaylee suggested. Mackenzie clicked on the show loading it up as the girls cuddled in bed. After watching 3 episodes it was clear both girls were bored.

Kaylee reached for her phone opening tik tok and stretching her arms out so Kenzie could see the screen as well. The girls laughed as they scrolled through Kaylee’s for you page, but stopped as they came across a video of a girl in her bathroom pranking her boyfriend into thinking her tampon was stuck.

It was at that moment both girls seemed to have the same idea, “oh we are so pranking Jacky boy with this” Kaylee laughed out as Kenzie nodded, “oh yeah we are” Mackenzie agreed.

Jumping out of bed, Kenzie walked over to her suitcase pulling out the tampons she had packed, putting them in the bathroom to make it a bit more believable.

After she’d done that Mackenzie walked back into the bedroom and climbed back into bed to cuddle Kaylee. “I’m gonna text Jack and ask him if he’ll stop by Target to get me some dark chocolate” Mackenzie explained to Kaylee.

To Jack❤️:- hey babe, I know you’re working out atm, but could you stop by Target and get me some dark chocolate? ❤️

Kenzie received a text back 5 minutes later.

From Jack❤️:- hey baby, yeah course I can. Do you need anything else?❤️

To Jack❤️:- just cuddles 🥺, when will you be home?

From Jack❤️:- erm in half hour? I’ll give you so many cuddles, and a stomach massage when I’m back ❤️

Mackenzie chose not to respond instead liking the message, “he should be back in a half hour” Mackenzie summarised to Kaylee. “Mhm perfect amount of time to scheme” Kaylee laughed.

Mackenzie laughed, “what do you think he’ll do?” Kaylee wondered aloud, “knowing Jack? He’ll probably dive straight in to help” Mackenzie laughed, Kaylee laughed along. “He probably will, he’s so sweet though. Why can’t I find a girl like him?” Kaylee pouted.

“Erm excuse me? What am I chopped liver?” Kenzie faked being offended, “you know what I mean, plus I have to share you” Kaylee huffed out. “My boy’s one of a kind so sucks to be you” Mackenzie added.

“He really is, we must protect all 5”11 of him at all costs” Kaylee saluted, “mhm I’ll beat anyone’s ass that hurts him. I don’t care if they’re a NHL player and twice the size of me” Mackenzie laughed out.

The girls carried on chatting and joking around, until they heard the front door opening. The house filled with more noise than before, and the sound of shoes being kicked off and thrown on the floor could be heard.

Footsteps pounding up the stairs could be heard, judging by the way they sounded Mackenzie deemed it as Jack. Mackenzie was correct as 2 minutes later Jack's head popped through their bedroom door, his hand covering his eyes. “Babe, what are you doing?” Mackenzie laughed out. “Is it safe?” Jack laughed, “yes it’s safe” Kaylee laughed.

Jack walked into the room, a plastic Target bag hanging from his wrist. “Oh give us a haul Jacky boy” Kaylee said. “Alright, first we have a bar of dark chocolate as requested, next we have some m&m’s, and finally we have a bottle of cherry cola” Jack said, pulling each item out as he said what it was.

“That’s one odd ass haul, where’s the spice?” Kaylee asked as she climbed out of bed, “anyways I’ll leave you to it” Kaylee winked at Kenzie as she left.

Jack looked at Mackenzie lifting his eyebrow, “what was that about?” He asked. “Nothin’ you know what Kaylee’s like” Mackenzie bluffed, trying not to give anything away.

Jack shrugged before climbing into the space beside Kenzie on the bed, wrapping an arm around her to pull her into his side. “How you feeling now bubs?” Jack asked as he leant down to kiss her head.

Mackenzie groaned as another cramp hit her, giving Jack his answer. Jack frowned as he watched Mackenzie furrowed her eyebrows, “oh baby” Jack sighed out, lifting up her his hoodie gently massaging her stomach and rubbing her hip bone.

As soon as Jack began massaging he noted the way her face relaxed. Mackenzie sighed, “I’ve been needing this all day” she said looking up at Jack. “I thought Kaylee was giving you cuddles?” Jack asked.

“Mm but it’s not the same as you, I swear you have magic hands” Kenzie hummed, “oh really?” Jack hummed back. “Mm in more than one department” Mackenzie winked as Jack laughed.

After cuddling and talking for half an hour, Kenzie decided it was time to put the prank into action. Mackenzie sighed before climbing out of Jack's arms, “where you going baby?” Jack asked.

“To the bathroom bubs” Mackenzie leaned down to kiss him before walking away. Mackenzie walked into the bathroom, pulling her phone out to text Kaylee.

To Kay😚:- ok, I’m in the bathroom x

From Kay😚:- oooo is it prank time? 👀 x

To Kay😚:- it is indeed prank time 😂 x

From Kay😚:- I can’t wait 😂, do you know what your gonna do? x

To Kay😚:- I don’t know… 💀😂 x

From Kay😚:- hmm i mean you’re usually pretty chill about these kinda situations 😂 x

To Kay😚:- true 😂 x

After texting back and forth coming up with a plan, Mackenzie realised she’d been in here for 10 minutes, longer than she should have taken.

Meanwhile Jack laid on the bed scrolling through Instagram as he waited for Kenzie to come back. Jack frowned when he realised that Kenzie had been gone awhile, climbing out of bed Jack made his way to the bathroom door knocking softly on it.

“Kenz babe are you ok in there?” Jack called out, waiting for an answer. “Urmm yeah?” Kenzie replied in more of a question. “What's up? Do you need anything?” Jack called out again. “Erm Jack, can you come here?” Kenzie asked.

Jack pushed the door open, slowly walking into the room, he found Mackenzie sitting on the closed toilet seat bent over with the head in her hands.

“Kenz? What’s wrong?” Jack crouched down in front of her placing his hands on her knees. “Nothin’” Kenzie mumbled, “it’s not nothing bubs, tell me so I can help” Jack cooed.

Mackenzie sighed out “it’s embarrassing and gross”, “you don’t have to be embarrassed around me bubs, I’ve seen you at your best and I’ve seen you at your worst, I just wanna help you baby” Jack spoke gently.

“My tampon is stuck, I can’t find the string” Mackenzie mumbled quietly. “What was that bubs?” Jack questioned.

“My tampon is stuck and I can’t find the string”, Mackenzie sighed out slightly louder. Jack frowned, “oh” is all he said. Mackenzie laughed “oh?”

“Right what do I do?” Jack asked standing up and walking out the bathroom, “oh right leave me here then” Mackenzie laughed. “I’m grabbing my phone, gimme a sec” Jack mumbled, grabbing his phone and turning the torch on.

Jack came back, setting his phone on the counter before picking Kenzie up and placing her next to it. Jack went to pull her sweats down before Mackenzie placed her hands on his. “Woah woah baby, it’s a prank” Mackenzie laughed out, Jack frowned for a moment before laughing as well.

“Oh really? I think it’s only fair I get my revenge” Jack wiggled his fingers, Mackenzie’s face dropped. “No” she deadpanned, sliding off the counter. “Oh yes” Jack laughed as Kenzie ran out of the room, Jack following her as she ran down the hallway, straight to Ethan and Luca’s room. “EEE-TEE-WEE-TEE, LULU SAVE MEEEEE” Mackenzie shouted whilst laughing.

Mackenzie opened their door startling both boys as she ran behind Ethan. “What’s going on?” Luca asked, “HIDE ME!!” Mackenzie exclaimed. Ethan and Luca exchanged a confused look, before Jack opened the door.

“Come ‘ere Kenz, accept your fate” Jack wiggled his fingers again, as Mackenzie cling to Ethan’s back. “What’s going on?” Luca asked again, “Miss prankster over here thought she’d get me. I gave her a massage and everything” Jack pouted dramatically.

“Ok whilst the last part was a prank, I have been feeling shitty and cramping that wasn’t a lie” Kenzie defended. “You still pranked me missy” Jack pointed a finger at her.

Mackenzie let go of Ethan, moving over to Jack, “I’m sorry I pranked you bubs” she pouted. Jack laughed, shaking his head “mhm it’s ok, it was funny” Jack held his arms out pulling her into a hug. Kenzie nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck, before she felt wiggling fingers again.

“Jack” she warned, Jack hummed in acknowledgement. “Don’t you dare” Mackenzie threatened, before Jack was tickling her. Mackenzie squealed before laughing, “s-s-stop.”

“Who’s the best boyfriend? Hmm” Jack teased, “not you” Luca laughed out, Mackenzie nodding in agreement. “Oh really? Then looks like I’m not stopping” Jack laughed out before Mackenzie wiggled free running out of the room down the hallway. “QUINNNNN HELP MEEE” Mackenzie laughed running for his room.

Eventually Jack had stopped trying to tickle her, “are you feeling up for going out on the boat?” Jack asked as he helped Mackenzie put some shorts on, “why, so you can push me in?” Mackenzie teased.

“It did cross my mind, but you can’t get your cast wet so that’s out the window, but the sun will be setting soon” Jack hummed out, “oh look at Mr Romantic over here” Mackenzie laughed before adding “sounds perfect Rowdy.”

Jack leaned down to kiss her, Mackenzie placing an arm around the back of his neck, playing with the hairs at the nape of it. Jack pulled away resting his forehead on hers, “I love you Kenz.”

“I love you Rowdy” Mackenzie spoke back without missing a beat. Jack grabbed Kenzie’s hand before leading her out the house down to the boat. Jack climbed on first before helping Kenzie on, “thank you bubs” Mackenzie leaned up to kiss the underside of his jaw.

After starting the boat and sailing for a while, Jack threw the anchor in as Kenzie set up some blankets on the bed area at the back of the boat. Jack connected to Quinn’s speaker, playing their playlist, Mackenzie’s favourite song came on.

Jack watched as her head shot up, smiling brightly at him, “come dance with me lover boy” Mackenzie beckoned him over. Jack laughed before making his way over to her, both of them dancing to the music, laughing at each other's moves.

After the song ended both of them climbed onto the blankets, Mackenzie laying half on Jack. Jack grabbed a spare blanket to cover them before playing with Kenzie’s hair. “I wish we could stay like this forever” Kenzie mumbled against his chest, “me too bubs, but we’ll be leaving for the world friendlies soon” Jack mumbled back.

Mackenzie sighed out “I’ll miss you, but I’m coming to one of them, I know you’ll do amazing though.” “Mhm I’ll miss you too, gonna score for my number one cheerleader” Jack hummed.

“I love you so much Rowdy, I can’t wait to marry you one day” Mackenzie mumbled looking up at him. Jack looked down “I love you so much more Kenz, can’t wait to spend forever with you” Jack spoke back leaning down to kiss her head before they both looked back out over the water watching the sunset.

Liked by jackhughes, Kay.Johnson, _quinnhughes, 187,570 others

Kenzie.Havener one very lucky girl right here 🫶🏼❤️

Tagged:- jackhughes Kay.Johnson

jackhughes I’m the lucky one bubs, I love you so much ❤️

Kenzie.Havener agree to disagree on that one baby, I love you so much more ❤️

Kay.Johnson I’ll always be your cuddle buddy when jackhughes isn’t around 🫶🏼❤️

jackhughes you’re her cuddle buddy even when I’m around 😩

trevorzegras oh and I’m not yours when kenz is around? 🤨

Kenzie.Havener busted💀

Frey.Lodge cuddle sessions without me? 😨

Kay.Johnson they’ll be plenty on girls trip 😏❤️

Maddy.Elizabeth oh absolutely, cuddle bundles again ☺️

Olivia.Autumn as long as Kenz isn’t on the bottom this time, we nearly squished her 😙😂

Kenzie.Havener not my fault I’m tiny 🙄

_quinnhughes I have so many questions about this comment section 👀

Edwards.73 no but same 🧐

Skylar.Grace you get used to it… trust me 😑😂

[kingkatsuki]

A funny thought just came to mind but imagine going on patrol with Bakugo and you two end up rolling around together cause like you tripped or something and then your hero outfits get stuck together real bad and now you’re both flustered but Bakugo is hiding it behind angry and he’s yelling at the hero outfit maker people while he’s just dragging you around like a rag doll 😂 like those videos where people are handcuffed to each other for 24 hours or whatnot expect it’s your hips stuck to his waist or something 😂😂

No but imagine those petty criminals with a quirk like that👀

Kinda like Awase’s weld but instead it sticks you and Bakugou together while you’re both out on patrol and you have no idea how you’re supposed to get unstuck. So poor you, you’re trying to work out what to do while Bakugou rants and cusses beneath his breath at the shitty villain with his shitty quirk.

Ends up kinda carrying you in the weirdest position— maybe your head ends up near his ass while your butt is in his face and you’re complaining that people will be staring at your ass and he’s like “ain’t no one gonna care about your ass, sweetheart they’re gonna wonder why we’re fuckin’ fused together.”

But you’re a little too close and you grind up against him when he drops you and you feel everything😳

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

You ask, you'll get!

Sherliam - during a smut session they insert some questionable item, which should not be inserted into someone's back end, and of course it get's stuck. How will they get this unusual thing out?

I have AO3 account, same username as here.

I got enough prompts yesterday to keep me busy for probably a couple of weeks, but this was the one that just made me go "I MUST WRITE THIS IMMEDIATELY." I don't know what that says about me. 😂

I immediately had two questions to answer in starting out:

Q. What prompts two literal geniuses to go around sticking things without safe bases up their behinds?

A. They're not sober.

Q. What might two less-than-sober Victorian geniuses idiots have on hand that might seem like a really good idea to put up one's behind in a moment of less-than-sober passion?

A. At this point inspiration struck, and I scurried to Google images and started cackling like a cartoon supervillain. Because...

(That second one, which is more what I was going off of, is damn close to just being a functional toy. As far as I can tell being very much Not An Expert On Butts, its only flaw would be that the base is narrower than the widest part of the bulb. It's also 8 and a half inches long 😳...I have taken mercy on Sherlock and downsized it in the fic.)

So...without further ado:

[nocasdatsgay]

I was just reminded this on Reddit but what do you think of the Cassian-Nesta-Eris dynamic in chapter 62 of acosf? I find it so distasteful. But besides that, I don’t see any sort of relationship building between Nesta and Eris in the future. Nesta and Eris are parallels of one another and she (and cassian) played him too much in that chapter. I don’t know if you talked about it before, but what do you think of it?

So I had to go back and read that chapter cause I didn’t even remember what happened 😅 but I will discuss under the read more ❤️ note these are just my opinions.

First of all. The love angle that was supposed to be Cassian Nesta Eris was so underdeveloped. One of my complaints was we didn’t get a real love angle but more of a one sided weird situation. When I tried to go off canon and make an AU I couldn’t. After dancing with Eris in Hewn City she’s grinning and smiling with Cassian.

I have a lot of complaints about how I felt the book was pretty much like Sarah wrote scenes individually and then stuck them together. I say that because so much happened in Ch. 62 I got whiplash reading it.

Cassian was end game so I agree it wasn’t set up for anything else to be between her and Eris unless it gets reconned or situations happen that require putting them in the same room.

But I don’t think it was distasteful how they acted because there wasn’t substance for them (neris) to begin with. It was a throw away plot point that didn’t get fleshed out. Cassian cutting down Eris in that chapter wasn’t shocking to me. Mostly cause Eris constantly lets his prejudices show. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.

As for the part about him asking if she considered his offer, this is where headcanon comes in and some canon mixed. Eris doesn’t come off as someone who plans to marry for love. He’s going to marry for his court and for power. Nesta has power. My headcanon was he seen that the night court was deliberately flaunting her so he played along. His role was to ask for her hand. He knew that. Maybe he did hope arrogantly that Rhys was dumb enough to let her go.

In that scene when he said his offer was genuine. He reads to me as envisioning Nesta being a power house and he (rightfully in terms of what he sees) thinks that the night court will not use her or worse will use her for their gain. It’s a “think of what we could do together with our power” situation. I also think he’s butt hurt she rejected him. He is vain.

Idk about him and Nesta being parallels. But I’m also tired (it’s night here rn and I had a long day)

So. To summarize I don’t think they played him too much but more it was Sarah making a point and she wasted everyone’s time.

Mildly related: do I ship them yes. Mostly cause I self insert as Nesta and I’m not a jock himbo girly 😂

[blackstarmylove]

Smack Goes MC’s Hand (HC)

Fandom: Blackstar Theater Starless

Pairing: Team Beef x fem!Reader

Warning: None? lol. 

Requested by: Potato

Prompt:  Another! What do you think Team Beef's reaction to Female SO slapping their butts would be? 

A/N: I had fun writing these. 😂

———————————————

Kei stood with his back to you on the rooftop, talking to someone on his phone in a foreign language. Bored, you began looking around - first to the sky, then to the wind playing with Kei's hair, and to the coin a few feet behind Kei.

Bending down, you picked it up, but as you stood up, you got a view of Kei's derriere. Normally, you didn't stare at men's behind, but you couldn't deny the sight in front of you was pleasant.

You stood up straight and contemplated whether or not to go through with your thoughts.

Kei felt your presence behind him, but he didn't think much of it until you slapped his buttocks, catching him off guard. He quickly turned on his heels and looked at you with wide eyes.

The man on the other line said something to Kei, and he walked away from you. He continued to talk on the phone as if nothing had happened, but Kei stood with his back to the wall.

At least the two of you were alone. The last thing he wanted was for another member of Starless to see you touching his derriere.

Sotetsu reached the rehearsal room early, hoping to get in a few stretches before practicing for the upcoming show. As he stretched, Sotetsu heard footsteps and glanced at the wall of mirrors in front of him. "Hey. What're you doing here?"

"Oh, I am here to watch the rehearsals. I'm just going to sit here and wait, don't let my presence bother you," you said as your eyes wandered down to his behind. On cue, Sotetsu bent down to touch his toes, giving you a full view of his buttocks.

Biting down on your lips, you averted your eyes but couldn't keep them away for long.

You got up and smacked Sotetsu's behind, making him jolt up and stand straight. Turning his head, he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"I couldn't resist...," you nervously chuckled and shrugged before turning your back to him and walking to your seat.

The next second, you felt a sting on your butt, and a yelp escaped your lips. "Sotetsu!"

He smirked and shrugged, "I couldn't resist either."

You stood a few feet away from Kokuyou and watched him smoke a cigarette. You wanted to stare at his face, but if he caught you, he wouldn't let it go for days.

Your eyes began to wander down his neck to his biceps and stopped at his derriere. He was leaning over the railing of the large outdoor staircase, so his behind stuck out more than usual.

For a while, you had a battle with your thoughts, but ultimately the invasive thoughts won. So, you casually walked up to him and smacked your palm flat on his behind.

Kokuyou snapped his head towards you and stared blankly. Soon his eyebrows furrowed, and his lips fell. But he remained silent, waiting for you to explain your actions.

"I let my invasive thoughts win. Sorry...?"

Kokuyou tossed his unfinished cigarette, snuffed the tip out with his boots, and walked away, but not before throwing you a threatening glare.

He had no idea how to feel or react.

Sin heard the door opening but continued sipping on his tea. If anyone was interested in talking to him, they would approach him without needing him to greet them first.

In the next moment, he felt a sting on his behind and nearly sprayed the tea in his mouth but managed to force it down his throat.

After a while of cough, while you apologized to him, Sin cleared his throat and looked at you questionably.

"I...um...s-sorry..."

"Are you?" A hint of irritation decorated his voice.

"For making you cough..."

"And?"

"And...nothing else," you stuck your tongue out at him and skipped out of the office room.

Sin sighed. Looks like he will always have to expect the unexpected when you are around. But why did you slap his behind? Was it only to get his attention, out of curiosity, or were you hinting at something else?

Feeling bad for asking Kongou to make your lunch, you decided to help him in the kitchen. He gave clear instructions, and you followed.

All was quiet until Kongou squatted down to look into the cabinet under the sink.

In your peripheral vision, you saw his behind but quickly shifted your eyes to the cutting board. Whenever you were with him, you checked out his chest, arms, and abs, but his butt...how did you miss that?

Luckily for you, Kongou dropped a spoon on the floor and bent down to pick it up, leaving his behind open to you. SMACK. Kongou jolted straight up and jumped away from you.

The kitchen went silent as the two of you stared at each other blankly.

A shade of red crept up onto his cheeks, and all poor Kongou could do was clear his throat and pretend as if nothing happened.

You would have felt bad for making him uncomfortable, but seeing him blush was completely worthwhile.

———————————————

➣ BlackStar Theater Starless Masterlists [1][2][3]    

➣ Main Masterlist

➣ Buy me a Ko-fi? ➣ Commission: Open || Requests: Closed

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

We need a sir psycho sexy copypasta

A long, ⌛⌛⌛ long, ➖ long, ➖ long ⌛⌛⌛ time 🤣 ago 😅 Before 🤔 the wind, 🎐 before 😂 the snow 🎿 Lived a man, 👨‍🎤 lived a man 🦸🏾‍♂️ I 😞😍😍🥰😘😍 know 💭 Lived a freak 😂😜😝 of nature 🌈 named 🧨 Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho 🤬 Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho 🤬 Sexy 😇 that 😚💶🚅 is me 👈 Sometimes ✨ I 😀 find 👀 I 🙄 need 😋 to scream 😱 He's 👨 a freak ‼️🤪😳🥴🥰 of nature 🐝 But 😥 we 😬 love 🤣 him 👴 so He's 🚹 a freak 😂😜😝 of nature 🐞 But ✋ we 👩🌊 let 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧🙆💂 him 👴 go 🦟

Deep 😱 inside 💠 the garden 🏡 of Eden 😨🍎🏀 Standing 🚹 there 🦧 with my 🌽🥕 hard 😩 on 🔛 bleedin' There's 👀 a devil 👿 in 🛌 my 👀 dick 🥖🥒 and some 👱🏻‍♀️ demons 👹 in 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ my 🏿 semen Good 👌 God 🙏 no 😞🌈 that 😐🤔 would 🙏👉 be 👄 treason Believe 🙏 me 👰 Eve 🎉 she 👩 gave 🎁 good 👌 reason 🤔 Booty looking 👀👀🙆👀 too 🤷‍♀️ good 👍 not 🚯 to be 🎮 squeezin' Creamy ☁️ beaver hotter 👏🏼🍨 than 👧 a fever 🤧 I'm 🤣 a givin' 'cause 💋 she's 👩 the receiver 📞 I 😬 won't 😧😏😏 and I 💫 don't ✋ hang 👜 up 🤸‍♀️🔊 until 🍏 I 😳 please 🙏 her 💭🚺🚺 Makin' 😩 her 👩 feel 💋💋 like 🎅 an over 🤬 achiever I 😀😀😀 take 😤 it away 😇 for 6️⃣9️⃣ a minute ⏰ just 😔 to tease 🍾 her 🙄🙄🧐 Then 😮 I 🏿🏼 give 🎁🚨 it back 🤚⬅️ a little 🤔 bit 😁 deeper Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho, 🤬 Sir 🥖👌🏼🏼👍 Psycho, 🤬 yeah 👍 (he's ✅ the man 👨‍👧 that 🚇 I 💰 met 👄 one 👆🤓 time) ⌚ Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho, 🤬 Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho, 🤬 yeah 🌴🎲👗⛔ (he's 😗🅰️ the man 🦂 that 🔀 left ⬅️ me 🤣🤣 blind) Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho, 🤬 Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho, 🤬 yeah 😏 (he's 🚹 the man 👨‍🏭 he's 🚹 the man 🦂 he's 💁‍♂️ the man) 👨‍✈ Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho, 🤬 Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho, 🤬 yeah 🕢👩‍👩‍👧👏🏻👠 (yeah) 💁🤷 He's 👨 a freak ‼️🤪😳🥴🥰 of nature 🐌 But 🤔 we 🌽 love 😍 him 👴👨 so He's 💁‍♂️ a freak ‼️🤪😳🥴🥰 of nature 🌋 But ✋🏽 we 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 let 🧑🏻‍🤝‍🧑🏽 him 👨 go 🦗

I 🏼🏼 got 😩 stopped by 😺 a lady 👵👒 cop 👮 In 🎻🎻🎻 my 👄 automobile 🚗 She 👩‍🔬 said 🗣️ get 🙌🏼 out 😤 and spead your 👈 legs 👐 And then 🙊🐵 she 👱‍♀️ tried 👀 to cop 🚔🚔👨🏽 a feel 💓 That 😐 cop 👮 she 🥰 was all 🤠 dressed 👖 in 👆 blue 👖 Was she 🧏 pretty? 💅💃 Boy 👨‍👧‍👦 I'm 👈 tellin' you ✌️ She 🙇 stuck 🧍💆‍♂️ my 😀 butt with her 👩 big 😏 black ⚫ stick 😶📏 I 👏 said, 🙊 "What's 🤔 up?" 🙅😍 now 📅 suck 🐓 my 👨👨 dick 🔥 Like 👬 a ram 🐐 getting 🉐 ready 😏 to jam the lamb She 👩 whimpered just ❗ a little 💖 when 😂🕕 she 👩🏼 felt ✋🏻 my 🧜🏻‍♀️ hand 👭 On 🏽🏽 her 👩 crotch so very 📈✅ warm 🔅 I 🚫 could 🔮 feel 💓 her 👩 getting 💯 wet 🌊🌊 through 🪀 her 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ uniform 🥋 Proppin' her 👩 up 🤸‍♀️🔊 on 🔛 the black ⬛ and white ◽💮 Unzipped and slipped, 😮 "Ooh, 🦟 that's 👨👉 tight" 😻 I 😊 swatted her 💃 like 🏩 no 😣 swat team 👥 can 🥫 Turned 🔄🔄 a cherry 🌸 pie 🥧 right ☝🏽 into 🚪 jam Sir 👨 Psycho, 🤬 Sir 👨 Psycho, 🤬 yeah 😜 (I'm 🙅‍♂️ the man 👨‍⚕ that 💪 you 👈 met 👄 one 🔂 time) 🥰 Sir 👨👨👨 Psycho, 🤬 Sir 🎖️😔 Psycho, 🤬 yeah ✨ (I'm 💂🏿 the man 👨‍💼 that 🤩 will 🤔 leave 🍃🍀 you 🦎 blind) Sir 🎖️😔 Psycho, 🤬 Sir 👨 Psycho, 🤬 yeah ✅😜 (I'm 👱👏 the man, 👱 I'm 😂😂 the man, 🤦‍♂ I'm 😂😂 the man) 🌊😗 Sir 👨 Psycho, 🤬 Sir 🎖️😔 Psycho, 🤬 yeah 😎

Hello 👋 young 👶🏿 woman 👧 that 😻 I 🙍🚫 love 💞 Pretty 💅 punk rock 🥌 mama 🧍‍♀️ that 😔😐 I'm 💘 thinking 🤔 of Hold 👬👬 me 🏿 naked if you 🧘🏾 will 🎀 In 😳 your 😈 arms 💪 in 👉 your 👇 legs 🏊🕺 in 🧚🏻 your 👣 pussy 🍂🐱 I'd 🙏 kill 🚿 To be 👎😨 with you, 😳 to kiss 😗 with you, 👨🏻👈 I 👀 do 👀 miss 🧍‍♀️ you 💃🕺 I 👀 love 😍 you 😕🏿 Lay me 🧘‍♂️🧘‍♀️ down, 👇🔽 lay me 😳😟 down, ⬇️ lay me 🚩 down, 🔻 lay me 😩 down 🔻 Lay me 🙋🏽 down, 👇 lay me 💻 down, 📉 lay me 🧼 down, 📩 lay me 🤲 down 👎 Descending waves 🏄 of graceful pleasure 🙏 For 💯 your 👉✋ love 💖 there 👉 is no ✨ measure 💅 Her 👩 curves they 💁 bend with subtle 🤔👌👌 splendor Now 🕥 I 😀 lay me 🚏 down 📷 to sleep 😴 I 🎧 pray 🏃 the funk will 💫🌸🧚🏻 make 💃 me 💁😙 freak 😂😜😝 If I 🧍 should 👫 die 💀 before 😺 I 😊 waked Allow 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦🎫🎫 me 👊🤰👏 Lord 👑 to rock 👩‍🎤 out 🤬🤬 naked Bored 😒 by 😡 the ordinary 🔬🧫🔭🧠 time 🕓 to take 💅 a trip 🚞 Calling 📞 up ⏫ a little 🐭 girl 🚶🏼 with a bull ♉ whip ✋👊🏄‍♂️ Lickety split 🕺🏻 go 👩‍🦲 snap, 📷 snap 📷 Girl ♀️ gettin' 💯 off 🥵 all 😩 in 🤖 my 💁🏽 lap The tallest tree 🌲 the sweetest sap Blowin' my 🎸 ass 😐 right ☝🏽 off 🎮 the map 📍 Ooh 😳 and it's nice 🔥 out 😛 here 🥵 I 😀 think 💭 I'll 😡 stay 💒 for 4️⃣ a while ⌚🙄

Feel free to spread this everywhere

[candycryptids]

Happy birthday! ❤️

THANK YOU !!!! Here’s a cupcake with a jobstone wedged in the icing 🫢 I dunno if that things actually edible but if you get stuck as a Dragoon for the next 8 hours….. don’t look at me 😂🌸

SO FOR A FROG FACT I talked about the Turtle Frog and briefly about the Purple Frog, but the Black Rain Frog is ALSO a burrowing frog that lays eggs that hatch into full formed tiny froglets! They also dig with their hind legs, and the male will guard the burrow of eggs until their ready. If an attacker comes and tries to eat him…. He makes himself as Big as Possible! Plugging up the entryway with his inflated body so it’s hard to remove him (so hard to eat him AND the kids are safe!)

It reminds me of Wombats? Not a frog sorry- but they do dive into their burrows and use their sturdy butts to defend themselves from attack.