#if it finds me through a meme on tumblr thats enough

[jazzums]

as someone who has struggled w depression the majority of my life, i protect my happiness in little ways

[daemon-in-my-head]

Bout that essay titled 'A study of Gortash's twisted love of humanity'- yk what fuck it here goes nothing. Back into a facists megalomaniacs mind we go. Spoiler; this is long.

But first of all; let's do a thought experiment. Let's just assume, for shits and giggles, Gortash's position would've somehow been swapped with any other the other chosen or another Banite:

Let's start with the Banites: if we had gotten anyone except for Gortash Baldur's Gate would've been fucked. Like genuinely. Banites are cruel, vicious, unashamedly gaudy (they suck ass at infiltration missions) and they exploit loopholes perhaps even better than fiends. Any other Banite would've simply reveled in the fear caused by rampant myrkulites and bhaalists and probably stoked that fire by employing some of their own forces. And depending on whether the Zhents join the winning side or not they would've probably used and abused the black network to absolutely dominate trade and potentially choke out every non desirable in the city itself by fun activities such as grand scale slavery, starving an entire city, or simply employing enough mercenaries and some Bhaalist to get the job done. Banites fuck everyone over so hard they usually don't even stop at themselves, and prideful cruel beings who know absolutely no bounds in their desire for power commonly don't hesitate, especially not Banites who thrive in backstabbing. So the other chosen and the grand design are fucked cuz they will most certainly get removed for the sake of someone more desirable the second they somehow irk Banes favourite toy. Which in some specific cases (all of them) would be in 5 minutes flat. If you thought the local nobility was bad just wait until you see a Banite in their natural environment.

Ketheric: Yeah Baldur's Gate is fucked. Ketheric cares about one thing and one thing only; Isobel. And he employs a bunch of sadistic necromancers who have no concept of personal boundaries or consent for that matter, so chances are he'd let them roam freely in Baldur's Gate, making the streets a huting ground for his followers to find prime subjects to perform inhumane experiments on all while he turns a blind eye; either busy trying to get Isobel under his (mind-) control, reviving her or treating a brainless puppet that looks and once was his daughter like his one true solution to decades of grief and fucking up. He wouldn't care about what happens to the city, to the other chosen or even the grand design. He'd follow his gods orders but thats about it and no matter whether that's still Myrkul or Bane; everyone's fucked cuz surpringly the guy who adores lichdom more than life and the other guy who'd rather 'burn everyone's fields than loose' aren't about to give out any orders that will benefit anyone but themselves.

Orin: Another great case of 'yeah Baldur's Gate is fucked'. Orin wants one thing and one thing only: recognition. Preferably from Bhaal but she'd take anyone at this point. The problem about this whole thing is, she's been conditioned and instilled with so much self-loathing my dearest murder princess can't even begin to realise when she's getting shown any sort of adoration anymore and immediately understands it as mockery, see, for example, her butler. Is what I would say if their corpse wasn't chilling in Durges old bedroom. All Orin would do is stage ever grander and more elaborate public massacres and involuntary 'anatomy displays'. Baldur's Gate wouldn't simply be fucked; give her a week, and the majority of it would be dead. This works well for Bhaal, but for anyone else, it would kinda suck. Including the other two of the dead three. And the cult would probably still loathe her simply due to her not being a true Bhaalspawn, so cue Orin's madness reaching an absolute boiling point. She doesn't and would never care for any of the other chosen or the grand design. Unless she's reigned in, she's a utterly loose canon, even more so than she was already, with Gortash or Durge at the helm, respectively.

Now time for my favourite of the reckless murder hobos; Durge. Given the few in game notes we have Durge had a thing for obliteration. Including but not limited to every living being + themselves. So let's just assume Gortash’s cocky upstart charm and Orins assassination attempt didn't work out as planned and they are still the de facto leader but now without any leash. Baldur's Gate is probably obliterated. Alongside whatever else remains of the sword coast. Or Troil. They'd probably also have some weird ass fuck relationship with the brain cuz they already did without being the undisputed leader. And the brain would probably discard the grand design themselves cuz somehow Durge has that effect on things (might be the innate charm magic of Bhaalist priests that they use to convince people to join a literal murder cult). Either way, with Durge not giving a single damn about the other chosen, any plans but Bhaals (or their misunderstood version of it) and a dramatic love for self-obliteration, it may finally be time to remedy the elves' mistake and rip Abeir-Toril apart properly. Ao hates this trick, alongside everyone else, probably including Bhaal himself.

Which is all my longwinded way of saying; Gortash is the lesser evil. In any set of circumstances he displays enough leniency, monster fucker vibes and rationality to somehow keep this ruined, sinking ship from hitting the sea floor immediately. He has enough of a twisted love for humanity left, compared to the others, to a degree that he doesn't blindly follow orders or actively seeks the destruction of everything, let alone 'true' domination the way Bane intends to have it.

But yes, indeed, Gortash performed fucked up and cruel experiments. No doubt about that. And yet it was still on a lesser scale than a mad massive hoard of necromancers could, and his experiments, for the most part, actually yielded results, didn't they? Presumably, the Coginator and the remote control brain mechanism used for the Steelwatch. After all, there are zombies(?) in there, controlling that shit. However, the experiments on loving families were probably one of his selfish indulgences and his sorry attempt at figuring out if he was just born loathsome and his family sucks ass or if that's normal and humanity doesn't deserve a second chance. Or a 30th. FR lore is fucked up.

This is also a great transition to exhibit B of my thesis why Gortash does in fact love or is at the very very very least heavily intrigued by humanity; the sole existence of the Steelwatch. Listen, my guy serves Bane. Bane hates planning. He likes immediate results. So much so he actively pisses off his situationship Bhaal for it. Repeatedly. And he likes fear and tyranny. So what do you think the chances are that the black hand would actually enjoy the thought of a mecha army patrolling the streets of Baldur's Gate, keeping them save, and worst of all, instilling hope in the hearts of the populous, peasants and nobles alike? Yeah, absolutely fucking none. And yet Gortash did that. And he's not even just a regular banite. He's Banes chosen. He carries a part of Bane's divinity within himself. He has the de facto highest position in the local faith. He's Banes favourite toy rn. He's the centre of attention and he still goes out of his way to use things that could 1000% inspire fear and hatred to sow fucking hope and a sense of safety of all things in plain sight? I bet his adorable wrinkly ass that Bane wasn't happy and that even a thousand rituals to redeem his leniency won't save him from getting tortured extra hard for this fuck up. And considering the state of the Banites scriptures we found, and his entire character, Gortash is smart enough to know this is something Bane absolutely loathes. And yet my guy did that.

Another thing is the hive mind. Bane would probably not hate it outright, as its still 'burning the fields' by turning souls illithid, but it's wasted potential. Because there's so many great things you can do with a hivemind and the remote control over people's thoughts and emotions, for example instilling fear and terror the very things Bane loves. But that's, once again, not Gortash plan. If the notes and one of the evil endings is anything to go by the hivemind doesn't trap people in a state of torment, it does the polar opposite. People are happy, enjoying a better, simpler and nicer life. Enjoying an idea of what their life could've been like. They're smiling, happy, enjoying a casual market stroll and the bountiful rewards of the fields. Which is all things that a good Banite should hate and never inflict on someone. AND YET that's presumably Gortashs plan. Create a hivemind where everyone can dream happily and do soulless labour without noticing it while the world goes to absolute shit but the people do not. It's basically noah's arc. It's paradise in hell. The people are 'saved' while the gods continue to fight their petty games, and Gortash alone lords over this perfect dream. Protecting it answer using it to advance further.

Now, about the busts found in his office. Most of them depicted rather unsavoury, cruel people. Except for one. Which honours a self made person who took pity on those who had less. On those considered lesser by the upright and honourable citizens of the Gate. It's weird how, between all those symbols and testaments to cutlery and tyranny, there's still a sliver of empathy, renegade justice and even care for fellow humans imbued, isn't it? And what's even weirder, all of them are found in Gortash's most private place? His own little office hidden far above the grandeur of the throne room and the Fortress, where he sits at the helm, lording over his subjects and scheming his little plans? This is an excellent example of show, don't tell btw. It's hitting you over the head with the implications. But just in case, this might very well be a reflection of Gortashs mind itself and the visible expression of him being incapable of letting go of humanity as a whole, still carrying it somewhere not even that well buried between the resentment and cruelty but out in plain view for everyone curious enough to touch it because what others reason would he have tob'play the benelovent ruler' in a place where no one sees it? Where only his most trusted and fellow Banites mingle?

And, ofc, as I am a durgetash truther, another exhibit. Him fucking Bhaals gore baby and putting a leash on it prematurely. You see, I've already talked about Banes likes and dislikes plenty so it should come as no surprise that the Edgelord Surpreme wouldn't hate carnage wrought upon foolish mortals by idiots who follow lesser gods than himself, since it would still somehow contribute to people being scared and panicking. But Gortash, being the ever faithful fuck up of a Banite, reigns in the Bhaalist and even the Myrkulites enough for that to kinda never really happen. He stopped the carnage from happening altogether, in fact, by giving the others enough scraps to keep them satisfied and from acting out but not enough freedom to fuck up his plans. I mean, heck he was apparently so convincing he managed to get Durge, again, biggest fan of self-obliteration, from going on an apocalyptic rampage cuz 'daddy I like his brain and I don't mean for dinner'. Him doing that actively contributed to preventing another Bhaalspawn crisis, which could've very well happened with Bhaals resurgence and revival, 2.5 loose canons and no ward of a random old guy in sight. But also him providing a clear goal and orders for Ketheric kept the lich from giving in to the sweet release of just not caring at all whatsoever. Everyone had their designated roles and boundaries and that was perhaps the only thing keeping this group of mentally unstable creatures from unleashing an apocalyptic nightmare; which again would've worked in their gods favour and technically didn't need any prevention.

And about the Gondians... Yeah this is gonna sound fucked up, cuz it is, but Gortash is actually treating them exceptionally nice. Their families are actually still alive and its not just a lie he's telling them, we don't actually see anyone getting flayed, strung up or tortured in some other way outright, they actually get to wear clothes and presumably they're fed enough to a degree that most of them can still somewhat work and the collar and the threat of your head exploding does suck but he could've also simply chained them to their work stations but they aren't. Let alone use charms or other beguiling and fucked up magic to force them into complacency. And they're not being resold or redistributed or forced to serve some random ass guy. The Gondians are, from a Forgotten Realms and probably Bane's perspective, treated exceptionally well. As are their families. Still undoubtedly fucked up and kinda sadistic with the whole explosion collar but objectively speaking he's one of the nicer slave masters. And they do allow him to produce the Steel Watchers en mass which once again contributes to the overall safety of Baldurs Gate and its other citizens. Still the lesser evil.

Though to be fair; Gortash also did some things Bane would really celebrate. Like somehow cheating his way into obtaining the Iron Throne, fucking Bhaals favourite and most fucked up """"child"""" and of course, keeping his parents alive and in agony to eternally fuel Banes fear kink. Except, it's only Sally who's afraid. Dravo is basically a blue screen of death personified at this point. He's a hollow, numb husk, isn't he? So somehow this once again doesn't align with Banes goals and Gortash's duty as a Banite. He's fucked it up again. But Gortash could've also simply killed them if all he wanted was revenge. Why go out of your ways, program elaborate scripts into them, keep the very place that testaments his fucked up past in good condition? Because a quick death would be too merciful? But then why is he so quick to turn on Durge if they betray him in a much smaller scale than his parents did. Well, perhaps he chose not to simply kill the very people who prepared Belladonna in the kitchen when he came to visit because he himself still needs them. Because underneath all that rage and spite there's still a broken boy who wants to hear his parents, albeit empty praise, and who wants to prove to them that he can be better? That his useless playing around actually helped better humanity, that he himself helped countess people and made lives better when all they thought he'd be useful as would be a pawn?

So, is it twisted? Yes. Is it rotten? Absolutely. Is it anything you'd consider to be 'conventional'? Absolutely not. But he does hold some wildly fucked up 'love' for humanity, if only as means to a grander goal (that being himself, ofc) or perhaps cuz he's genuinely incapable of letting go. Whether it's that, to spite Raphael, Bane and his parents or someone else, who knows. Probably nobody. But the shit he does is unorthodox and oddly self-sacrificial in a way where I just can't go, 'yeah no he absolutely loathes the sheer existence of the concept'.

I still think it's a missed opportunity he's not trying to build a spelljamming port though. I feel like he would absolutely do that somewhere down the line, if only to limit the black networks influence.

[dballzposting]

A bit ago I was looking through someone's blog on the tumblr and they were a big Bura x Goten proponent and I was looking at all of the stuff and marveling at how much there was and how much people cared.

Well I was just thinking about that the other day ... my personal dballzposting interpretation of that pairing is that they're like those two scenes from Clone High (season 1) where Joan moves her arm and JFK reflexively flinches (seen below)

Cartoonish rendition seen below

Sorry I gave Goten this epic swag ninja rattail thing. Don't know why it came to me. Won't happen again sir. Also I gave him a facial scar becasue one day he and Trunks were playing with swords and Goten wasn't paying attention and Trunks got him good. Well anyway

It's like well there is an age gap of 13 years between them so this wasn't easy for Bura to pull off. But she's a force unto herself and as soon as she set his eyes on him she wasn't gonna take no for an answer. At first it was just sort of uncomfortable but as she got older and more serious Goten started to get the sense that he was in over his head. And that this was a battle that he wasn't going to win.

Still though he held out for as long as he could and there would be momenbts where Bura would show up at the sword training dojo that he runs with Trunks and he would Not Look At her and focus on the sword in his hands and say "Don't bother me Bura I'm busy training with swords. Your brother is in the other room" and she would say "You know that I'm not here to see him you darn dirty candied son of a bitch."

Like OKAY: Here's my complete explanation. But first here are some memes for them

^ I couldn't find the precursor to this one which as I recall said "me and my bitch don't argue she tell me to shut up and I do." well thats the one that I want here

First here's the shit that I think is true about Goten and Bura always, no matter your purpose:

Goten has lived a really well-lived life I think. Which is to say, for the most part, he has had total autonomy. Obviously he will always bow to the orders of his mother, and he has always been respectful toward his elders, but it comes from a place of love and respect and he feels that those things are reciprocated. His perception of life has been expansive and sunshine-filled. He's always excited for another day. He feels as though he has power over himself and his actions, but also, he's comfortable enough to surrender a certain amount of control to fate. He's secure enough to be vulnerable.

He's always been Trunks's BFF and he hangs out at Capsule Corp quite a bit. When Trunks's new sister was born, it was a time of growth for the both of them: Trunks began to internalize for himself all the big-brother-habits that he's seen in Gohan over the years, and Goten finds the joy of witnessing a new generation below him. It's not a tough transition for him to relinquish his baby status to his new niece and Trunks's new sister; rather, he's excited to be a loving support figure, same as was always and still is shown to him.

So while he's been living his life to the fullest, he's also been somewhat present for the younger crowd. But keep in mind that he's still a youth himself. He definitely does have the virile life energy of a nubile tomcat. He definitely does make throes of city friends and he definitely does become an honorary member to many frat houses over the years. And by the time we arrive at GT times, he's self-absorbed and sort of shallow, in the way that a 23-year-old man might be. He's got one thing on his mind, and he's always been self-honoring. He's chatting up GIRLS.

We can assume that as he gets older he becomes more worldy and wise because .. well that's natural. We can also assume that more of his energy is spent sitting on deck chairs and cracking open a beer than it is spent on doing keg stands at parties.

Eventually, and I don't know if the timeline was ever disclosed, but he does canonically open a sword-training dojo with Trunks. Fuck yeah. That's the coolest shit.

So that's a schema of Son Goten right there.

Goten has always been nice to Trunks's sister becasue yknow that's what you do but he definitely is not obligated to care about her the way that he is about his niece. That's one of the strong points of Trunks and Goten's relationship actually, that they're not under familial obligation to give a shit about the other, which is why it's extra meaningful when they do bond, and it keeps channels of honesty open. And yknow, Goten and Trunks aren't gonna be MEAN to Trunks's kid sister, but it's no surprise that, in their self-serving interests of youth, they frequently find her to be a nuisance.

But here's the thing about Bura. She's a freak of nature. She's perfect. She's the perfect blend of her mother's insanity and intelligence and her father's fierceness and conviction. She's born knowing that she's of a special family and she takes to it very well. She was born with a Saiyan regality that Trunks just does not have. And she's damn stubborn. As a kid, if she wants to hang out with her family, then she will. Trunks isn't allowed to be mean to her so he has to kind of do what she wants to do. He can roll his eyes or complain or avoid her, but if she demands Mario Kart then Trunks has to play Mario Kart with her. He can set limits and compromises but she's still getting some Mario Kart time out of him. She's not the princess in a mocking way, she's genuinely a born princess.

Furthermore, she frequently considers GOTEN & TRUNKS a bore. As a baby they're fun but more and more as she ages, she's sort of fed up with them. She's 6 years old and she thinks they're annoying as hell when they're not bringing her to fun places. At age 7 she's speaking computer lingo like her mother and grandfather, and finding camaraderie in the 1's and 0's. She has friends of her own, and I know this because a spirit like hers would not content herself with isolation. She goes out and grabs life by the horns. She takes what she wants. She has this inborn fire. By age 10 it's undeniable: her presence of character way exceeds that of Trunks. Trunks finds himself avoiding certain rooms in the building that he senses are her territory, and though we can all pretend otherwise, on some level he knows that he no longer holds any sort of seniority or power over her: if he speaks and she complies, it's only by her grace. And it's a relief when she chooses to listen, because you will not win in a fight against her. This she gets from both parents: Bulma's womanly way of bringing the hammer down in verbal battles, and Vegeta's fiery persistence and confidence. When dealing with Bura, you get the sense that she has something unbeatable in reserves, and it's best to quit while you're ahead.

She's taken to power in the house naturally, and it makes perfect sense, given the circumstances. But Trunks just completely isn't like that. He never knew there was power to claim, and even as an older sibling, he could never establish a respectable presence. He bossed around Goten their whole lives, but then even the healthy Goten emotionally matured ahead of him. Maybe it's just Trunks's personality - in good health, he's easy and cool and chill and doesn't want any fire or electricity or anybody to hold power over anybody else. Or maybe some early life event set him in a weak direction, like a difficult birth or Bulma's inadequate new-mother habits. WHO KNOWS. But he just doesn't have what Bura has.

This is all something that is believable always. I will say this always. By age 9 Bura had already MASTERED fashion, as her outfit in GT so clearly shows.

You literally cannot improve upon that. She nailed it. And I'm of the belief that she stays winning.

So anyway. That stuff is true always. Now back to the bullshit

So essentially if you ask me how I think a Bura x Goten plot could go, there is really only one answer and it goes exactly like this:

Bura for whatever reason sets her eyes on Goten and that's it. Her will is written in stone. As soon as she set her eyes on him his fate is decided and that's it. She's an unstoppable force and he is not an immovable object. This is inevitable fate. Not even King Yemma can help him now

What happens is that Bura, for whatever reason, as she moves through puberty, decides that that Son Goten fellow is worth her attention. This is already so funny on its own. Do you know those stories of endangered birds in zoos imprinting on humans, and then falling in love with a zookeeper, so the zookeeper has to hang around and act as a bonded pair with this bird in order to encourage it to raise eggs properly? And it's so fucking bizarre but so so so beautiful too? It's kind of like that. When she's 15, he is a straight-up a 28 year old man. LIKE....? WHY......?

HE IS A FULL-ON 28 YEAR OLD MAN .......... WHY ?! He walks around in man jeans. He picks his nose when he thinks that no one is looking. He listens to Rob Zombie. He's sort of a disappointment. WHY HIM...??

I..... It's so funny but you can't argue with her becasue she's always right. She sees something beautiful and we're all going to let her have this. But it's just ... yknow ... she could have her pick of anyone in the world. She has friends her age I'm sure. She has boy band dudes at her disposal. She doesn't have to be this way. Why would she be this way. I was trying to make the argument that she's beyond formidable but maybe with great power comes great insanity...? That seems to be a trend. For example Bulma is a genius but she's also crazy. Dr Briefs & Bikini are crazy. Everybody's a weirdo here

I don't even think there's any "reason" like "her parents had her when they were old so she imprinted upon older individuals and can't help but to be drawn to them and to find herself in their midst" like NO that is NOT BURA. She's improbably invincible and won't be affected by reasoning like that. She's just weird. Or maybe she could sense that Goten is the kind of guy who would let a chick eat him alive and so she's just feeling chemistry between their natures idk. Either way, Goten looks young for a 30 yr old given his Saiyan blood, and it's not uncommon for pubescent kids to crush on matured adults, right? So this is a harmless situation, right?

Bura is very forward when she has something to communicate so this little crush of hers doesn't remain a secret for long. And Goten is whimsical enough to have a laugh of it. He's like "haha Trunks not to brag but it seems like your sister thinks i'm cute. I just turn all the heads. Poor thing can't help it. I'm sort of the epitome of male attractiveness so it makes sense ... she's a girl becoming a woman after all." and Trunks tells him to PLEEEAAASE shut up but Goten thinks it's funny. He lets himself be flattered but wholly unaffected. If anything he's sympathetic: "I remember being that age. I got a crush on a mannequin I saw in a window once. It's a weird time but I've no doubt that she'll persevere."

Trunks is frowning over it but Goten has a laugh of it. Ultimately, he's too busy being TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD to care much. Trunks is still president of Capsule Corp, but the both are talking these days about getting back to their roots. This is the seed that'll later become their sword training dojo, but for now it's just bittersweet reminiscing and a subtle sense of being lost.

They don't know that Bura's little fixation is anything more than ephemeral and senseless, or that it'll become a viable problem. Goten doesn't know that when Bura visits Pan to hang out, she's begun to ask her questions like "your uncle doesn't usually stay with a girl long, right? Do you know why? What are the odds that he'll be married away in the next, oh I dunno, 10 years?" and Pan every time is like "Bura I'll shoot you in the forehead if you ask me that again."

Bura is like "Pan your uncle is cute af" and Pan is like "YOU'RE INSANE!!!"

Bura is like "the boys at school are cute and all but they all have so many opinions that they think I care about. The only opinion I care about is whether Goten would want a big wedding or a local affair" anbd Pan is like "THERE is something WRONG WITH YOU....!"

I mean they have the ability to hang out as normal and talk about Literally Anything Else, and they do, but Pan just has to be made aware that her friend Bura has evidently dedicated herself to weirdness with a fierce conviction, and this is just who she is now. Pan is trying to look ahead and figure out a career while Bura already KNOWS that she's going to usurp her brother as President and make a husband out of that Son Goten yet.

So now: while Goten has had an expansive and sunshine-filled life thus far, he's beginning to settle in spirit, and he's beginning to feel a touch of discomfort at the semi-frequent moves made by Trunks's teenage sister. At first it was endearing, but now - just a bit - Goten is starting to feel affected. Like he's involved. He wasn't really involved before. He was free to do as he pleased. But now he's feeling a smidge uncomfortable, and he feels pressed by circumstances to say something.

It's just a bit, at first. In theory, he still has total autonomy. He could turn around and walk home at any point. But he says something like "Okaaaaaaaaaay Well Trunks would you mind having a chat with your little sister about boundaries and personal space and appropriate language and whatnot?" But all Trunks can do is shrug and concede that "I don't really have any power over her Goten......."

It's a little harrowing. But ultimately harmless: she'll grow out of it.

But again, Bura is a force to be reckoned with. This does not diminish with time, but instead she picks up not just INTENSITY but EFFICIENCY. She becomes more and more sold in her ways. Goten can't "Does Your Mother Know" by ABBA his way out of this one

(sidenote this is in my top 10 fave songs and has been as long back as matters .. the looping bassline drives me crazy .. And i think it's really classy too. So tbh just let me have this)

Anyway. So over the years one gets the sense of "oh shit she wasn't messing around." "Oh shit she really means this." "Oh shit this isn't going away." "Oh shit."

Goten has always enjoyed his freedom, but lately, he's begun to feel like a shark is sniffing him out in the water. He keeps pretending that there's nothing going on and nothing to fear, and this denial keeps him safe from the realization that: Bura is a strong-willed Saiyan woman who has made her decision. It's only a matter of time now.

Goten for a while at least has the defense of "Not until you're a day over 18 sister" but that's all semantics. Time is inconsequential and will dutifully pass.

It's like this growing spiral of constriction, if you will - every new attempt at rediscovering that old sense of a boundless world is met with another hang-up or closed door, and it's subtle, but Goten can't run forever from the reality that he is being tracked like an animal and that his place of power has long since melted away.

And there's a lot of hang-ups - life is tumultuous right now. In the family, Pan is undergoing a spiritual discovery herself, and her ineffective searching is unnerving even to others. She eventually works on the family farm for a while, which is something that Goten is trying to uproot and leave behind. But he can't seem to keep a woman, and if left to his own devices, he would settle into the melancholy and respect the beautiful sadness he's seen until love blooms anew again; but seeing as his single status is a threat to his livelihood as it is tantalizing to the shark, he is nervous. Trunks is at his breaking point when it comes to his job, and Goten hasn't felt nourished by their friendship in a long while. He wishes he could help, but Trunks can't realize his fantasies of running off and playing with swords in the mountains until there is somebody to take his place --- and it all comes back to Bura doesn't it. She's 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, then 21 - Goten is in the middle of nothing until she finally relieves Trunks of his presidential duties and takes the chair.

Then Goten and Trunks are free to run off and fuck off, which is cool, and life is good again. It was a bit tense for a moment there but it's good again. It was a bit scary for a moment there, and Goten in a moment of weakness had seen for himself the inexorable reality that is his romantic predispositions as a male saiyan, and he had grabbed Trunks by the shoulders and begged him to please do something about his huntress of a sister, becasue Goten was only a man after all and of the stock of his father and he knew how it had gone with his parents and he knew how it had gone with his brother and he knew how it was going to go for him and he wasn't ready to lie down and take it yet and he needed Trunks to do soemthing to stop this becasue Goten at this moment felt that if Bura made one more convincing pass at him then he wouldnt know what he would do. And Trunks, feeling affronted, and in the knowledge he too is powerless, and in a transitory time in his life as well, could do nothing but punch Goten in the jaw and then cry into his chest.

But that was like a few months ago and it feels like years and it's all good now. They can forget all about all of that. That was all bullshit anyway. Now they can follow their passions and play with swords. Bura is too busy with the new job to be a nuisance. Trunks doesn't have to mourn the way that he feels like he never got to have a relationship with his sister becasue he was always fecklessly trying to keep her away from his BFF and he just had to pick one. It doesn't matter because he can play with swords now. He doesn't have to think about the devout fearful aversion that he holds for the strong-woman-eats-man dynamic because hes out in the mountains playing with swords with Goten. He doesn't have to witness that pattern in his parents and grapple with the way that his own conception revolved around the dynamic of a man lying his spirit down, or submitting to a womanly force. He doesn't have to think about the way that his father of strong character had warned him about women like that. He doesn't have to witness that dynamic in his parents, or in Goten's parents, or in anyone, because right now it's just he and Goten up there in the mountains playing with swords. Trunks doesn't have to face the horrific distress of bearing witness to his best friend being hunted and shot down by a woman of will. He doesn't have to see Goten grip at his shirt in fearful desperation, the fear of a man who already knows who is in possession of his soul; the fear of the body wanting to live and fighting against the spirit who can see and accept death. And Trunks especially doesn't have to sit and try to digest the ungodly amount of rage he feels toward his own sister, who has always gotten her way, who is trying to steal Trunks's most important friend from him, and who has forced Trunks to reconcile with his own weakness and vulnerability at the courtesy of her own strength.

So everything's good up there in the mountains. And I'm unsure on the timeline but they play with swords and do some exploring and traveling and discovering and eventually they see it fit to open their own dojo. Life is good.

But Bura will still come around like she always has and she'll walk into the dojo that they're trying to renovate and her red heels will clack on the ground like it's nobody's business. And she'll talk to Goten and he just has to stare at his sword and avoid looking at her and sweat stoically and insist "I'm with another girl again now you can't keep pushing your shit Bura..." and she just stands there in her perfect outfit with her hands on her hips knowing damn well that this battle was over with as soon as it started. And over the years life has been good and bad and scary and fun and they've had their laughs and tears. And it's really no big deal. Bura could have anyone in the world, if she wanted them. Right now she's perfectly satisfied in her professional life. She sort of misses the female camaraderie but she's willing to wait until Pan is done with her soul-searching journey before reconnecting with her again. She trains enough and socializes enough and feels enough that she's doing really good for herself, like always.

She's 25 years old and she stands at the attention of this poor 38-year-old bastard. Goten avoids looking at her in the eye, or at all, same as Vegeta did to Bulma when he first started to feel her effect. Bura instinctively knows the signs.

Goten is an open kind of person. He doesn't like denying and repressing things for long. It's counterintuitive to him, someone who places a certain amount of respect in and relinquishes a certain amount of control to fate, to keep fighting against the current for forever. He craves the comfort and relief of lying down with grace. Saiyans keep fighting until they're dead, but only for interests of the self, and Goten doesn't see it fit to keep fighting against himself like this.

He doesn't look at her because he knows that she's already won. He's just biding his time. Obviously he would have preferred that things had gone differently, and he wishes that a woman of his generation would have committed to him the fierce way that Bura has, but them's the cards. At the end of the day, Goten is very much a "Oh well. Play the cards that I'm given" kind of guy. Meanwhile Bura is the one who's dealing the cards.

He doesn't look at her until all of him is ready to. There's still some fight in him that hasn't accepted fate yet. That's fine. We've all the time in the world. It marches dutifully on.

There's literally a day where Goten and Trunks are cloudgazing in silence and then Goten slowly gets up and says "........yknow what Trunks. I'm um. I'm gonna go visit Bura.. See what she's up to." And he doesn't hang around for a response, he just starts walking away. And there's nothing of worth that Trunks can say because he knows exactly what that means and he can't stand to see it. He would rather spend his whole life fighting the will of a woman, to prove that he has power, and that it's possible for him to win. He could never accept the outlook that it's inevitable, that that's just biology. He's been fighting on Goten's behalf for years, keeping he and Bura in seperate rooms, trying to vain to talk some sense into the both of them, making sure to keep Goten's fighting spirit up - and to think that all of that effort could amount to nothing...? That Trunks cannot vicariously heal the wound and insecurity that he inherited by circumstances of his conception and by witnessing his parents' relationship...? That Goten's submission is a mark of grace and strength, and not of anything else, is obvious but incredibly difficult for Trunks to digest.

Anyway, though. I don't know why a 25 year old woman would want to be with a 38 year old man but Bura is just funny and crazy that way. They get married too. She marries a 40 year old. IDK why but it's funny. And BTW I forgot to weave this in but all of their parents have opinions on this arrangement too. Sort of. Goku doesn't care. Chichi has many qualms, such as the age gap, or Bura's busy lifestyle hamstringing her housewife potential, but she's also glad that FINALLY her second son is to be married! Bulma takes start but of course sees beauty in the way that her daughter will do as she will. She probably thinks it's funny in the end. Vegeta's opinion is really the one I want to talk about though because it's so simple and straightforward and factual to him

See unto his son he's imparted the idea subtlety that: women are stronger than men. He tells Trunks to never stop training, to keep improving, to be stronger than the world, etc. Out loud, he says things about minding your own strength and that chivalry is needed when it comes to women, because you cannot abuse your own strength. But in his BEHAVIOR, it looks to Trunks less like chivalry, and more like getting pussywhipped. Vegeta TRIES to argue with Bulma and ALWAYS loses. This has set up Trunks to feel distrustful about his own vulnerability and about aggressive women in general.

Unto his daughter, Vegeta has implicitly imparted these beliefs of his. While he never SAYS outloud anything about men and women and their dynamic, his beliefs regarding do come through. He raises Bura to be completely confident and self-loyal. He encourages all whims and passions of hers. He even bends to her opinion sometimes, like in GT when he shaved his mustache because she said that he looked awful with it. Why would she have that opinion? She's just a fashionista 9 year old who is saying shit. She may change her mind tomorrow. Who's to say that she's right about anything? She's 9. BUT he not only honored her opinion, but deferred to it. This is the reality of Bura's upbringing. And when she bears witness to strife between her parents, she always feels assured that it is her side who will win in the end.

So when it comes to Bura maintaining a committed crush on Son Goten, Vegeta's opinion is simple: GO FOR IT GIRL! The fuck! What're you asking me for?! You come from a long line of people who win hard. Furthermore, all of your opinions are correct and your spirit is perfect. Your path of maturity has been only beautiful and your potential is pure. I will do whatever it takes to ensure that nobody will surpass me and I expect you to do the same and if I die by your hand I will be proud of you. That won't happen because I'll never quit ever but if it did happen I'd be proud of you. Anyway. Love is a woman's prerogative and you've made a decision. We are all going to respect that.

And then Vegeta looks at Goten for 3 seconds one day and in that 3 seconds perceives the perfect truth: That this bloke will be a respectful husband and will absolutely do as his wife says. He'll be the strong man behind the even stronger woman. This is fine and natural. All is right in the world.

You may think that he'd have opinions about his daughter being with a son of Kakarrot but he doesn't. He's always treated his children as self-realized individuals and they are free to do as they do. Their ways aren't up to him. He can do his best to inculcate nerve and honor in them but he cannot, and is not interested in, controlling them. He has absolutely no opinion on his daughter getting with kakarot's son.

Anyway. Back to Goten and Bura and the ever-apparent vortex that she has him in that he eventually concedes to.

See Goten has Saiyan blood first of all so of course he likes strength in a woman. Nothing speaks of strength more than the tenacity of a huntress. Second of all, his upbringing. Look at his mother... she's strong, strict, decisive, forceful, stern, controlling. This is Goten's perception of women. He has been trained to respond to sharp orders by a woman. He responds well to it, actually. His mother has always loved him and he feels like he belongs when a woman tells him what to do. He feels like a good and proper husband when his wife tells him what to do. And he does what she tells him to do, too! He doesn't want to cause grief like his father caused his mother by being defiant or careless. This is his nature and upbringing. He responds very well to forceful treatment. Reciprocation to this is his love language, in a way.

He began to sense this with Bura a few years in, which is what fueled the fear - the idea that he was up against something that he was weak to. But eventually, he does have the grace to accept love, in any form, as it comes to him, and he does bow his head to circumstance, and he feels love by doing so.

This is the very thing that Trunks is so strongly against, and perhaps part of why his romantic exploits have always gone cold is because he in unwilling to accept that a piece of this is in his nature as well.

But yeah. Bura marries a man 13 years her senior and it's her prerogative. She and Goten have 3 kids exactly 2.5 years apart in age. Goten is a househusband and he's soooooooo happy to do it. He learns how to cook from his mother and he loooooves taking care of the kids. He's soooooo proud to have them and he loves them. He is so touched by beauty and pride for his wife's offspring, and he's so honored that they're his kids too. He's 40 years old and was starting to fear that he wouldn't have the time to be a father. He's so grateful that a young woman with ample reproductive potential chose him, because he almost missed his chance there. Sometimes he feels that it's too good to be true. He loves being a parent

When the second one was born he was sitting with Trunks and holding the baby and Trunks could see the remarkable tenderness, gratitude, and humility radiating off of Goten, and it made his stomach tie up in a knot. And then Bura (who has taken maternity leave to nurse the baby) calls from the other room - some sort of command - she summons her husband or something or another - and it's not a bark, because she's much too dignified and serene, it's just the loving order of a wife - and Goten responds reflexively - "yes dear" - and then seems to feel love as though the reflex were deliberate. He rises with the babe in his arms - and it's a healthy baby, too, though it's too early to say much else - and he doesn't properly excuse himself from he and Trunks's conversation because he assumes that Trunks, as a man, would understand and respect the beckon of a wife. This is the necessity of family.

But obviously Trunks hates every single part of this. He hates his sister for this, and the hate is too strong for him to engage in without losing himself so he just shoves it away. He misses his BFF and feels like he has nobody. Ideally Goten would have taken on literally any other woman as a wife, and then Trunks could maintain some closeness, but his sister has lived a pervasive pattern of running him out of his own territory (house space, parents's attention, work) so he can't even just sit here. He wants to be delighted by his nephews but he feels so difficult inside about it.

It's soooooo miserable for him but Goten loves it. He LOVES not having to think too hard or make difficult executive decisions - Bura already has opinions, a plan, Bura already knows. I imagine that their age gap makes it weird sometimes - Goten has this old man wisdom while Bura is a girl of the city - but they are able to close this discrepancy with surprising frequency and efficiency. Bura can maintain a thoughtful, emotional, perceptive conversation. Goten can feel honored by her words. She responds to him with consideration, in her assertive way, and he even forgets his place sometimes and tries to get her to open up before she chooses to. She likes this about him.

Obviously everything to up to her and she decided that she wanted 3 kids 2.5 years apart and he was like Ok. And she already knows what she wants to name her first son and her first daughter, and she not only lets Goten but WANTS Goten to name the other(s). She does love him. For some reason. We still don't know why. But now that it's all said and done, they do play well together.

The first kid is a boy and she names it something like Thong or Sock idk to fit the nomenclature on her mother's side. The next one is another boy so Goten gets to name this one - and obviosuly obviosuly OBVIOUSLY he names it Gohan III. The last one is a daughter named Eschalot. Obviosuly.

Anyway that's my post and unsolicited opinion on Bura x Goten.

Take care

[yourstrulyray]

heres my little secret to media digging for small/dead fandoms (i heard through the grapevine 🤭)

this is a very half-assed list so bear with me please

google search. yeah. thats it. search yo fandom up on google and hope to god there's SOMETHING about it out there (main targets are fandom wikis) if you're lucky enough you could find a compilation of concept arts and/or storyboards, possibly even lost media!

app stalking. bad term i know right (i coined it myself) basically search for your fandom on ANY app. like, any. main targets are tumblr (for 4+ year old content, always the best for dead fandoms), and tiktok (everyone is moots with everyone). other apps like instagram and twitter/X is fine but they're RARE finds. for normal visual novels like comics pinterest is also a good find for fandom memes

website browsing. you can find ANYTHING on websites — and im talking about fanfictions (except wattpad. when i say all of them are self inserts and/or oc ships...), "cringe culture" fanart on deviantart (trust me it's still worth it), oh and movie screencaps for every frame from your interest (if it's a movie or show!)

yes, it's just three but you dont need a lot of strategy for this. it works WONDERS trust me 🙏🙏

[skyburger]

lately ive been going through my google history when im bored (which is so incredibly entertaining btw. highly recommend) and apparently, after double-checking my camera roll that date & finding proof to support this theory, i did indeed first watch hlvrai on november 4th of 2020. absolutely insane. i thought i hadnt seen it until mid-2021 at LEAST.

shoutsout to my friends who i watched it with at the time half of which i dont talk to anymore... i owe u for getting me into funny half-life series. thank you oomf

WARNING !!! below the read more is a long fucking list of funny* things i found in my camera roll from the week i first watched hlvrai. like not the images themselves just me talking about them. i dont know why i thought that was a good idea but alas i already spent 90+ minutes writing that all out and tbf i did have a good laugh looking at that shit. anyway the warning is because its long as fuck and i'm willing to bet not at all interesting to anyone who isn't me. i think if i talk any more i will ramble for fucking ever so ill shut up. WARNING OVER !!! miami make some fucking NOISE. dj tsumugi.

*please note these were funny to both me in late 2020 (age 15) and me now (older but not at all wiser). what im trying to say is read at your own risk because 90% of this is unfunny as fuck but it could be worse. it could be shit from when i was 12. That would be really bad i think

anyway here are some highlights from my camera roll from like the day before, the day of & the day after "the incident" (me watching hlvrai):

a ridiculous amount of terezi pyrope pictures. i had not (and still have not) ever read homestuck

at least 30 pictures of hugh o'conner. probably more if im being honest with myself

the same few pictures of kokichi ouma? for some reason?

like a lot of pictures of nagito komaeda. there is at least one screenshot where my discord pfp is nagito. Something Happened

vriska and nepeta also make an appearance. the former more so but not nearly as much as terezi for some reason

a lot of screenshots of discord convos involving various hughdebeste aus. some favorites are the homestuck au, the peabody & sherman au(???), the meet the robinsons au(??????), splatoon au

blu and red scout tf2 they have taco bell and kfc shirts respectively?

professor sycamore from pokemon and professor sycamore from layton. there are multiple images of each and theyre right next to each other

screenshots of the homestuck wiki. Concerning

a screenshot of an email i got from nintendo about the special edition fortnite switch releasing

like a lot of screenshots of alfendi layton from when i was playing lbmr. not surprising but theres kind of a ridiculous amount

a picture of alvin (the chipmunk) that just says "WE DID IT"

screenshots of me talking in ridiculous 13375P34K on twitter and being accused of kinning from homestuck. quite frankly? i deserved that

hatsune miku makes a few appearances

many tumblr post screenshots. However i did not take these myself i just saved them from reddit. really ashamed to admit i did this for literal years even when i used tumblr at the same time

picture of professor layton standing in that one pose in that one picture i dont know how to describe it. the "you know i had to do it to em" one

that one bugs bunny suit meme and it says "i wish all boobed men a very pleasant evening". this was apparently important enough for me to save twice like an hour and a half apart

many screenshots of me on discord AND twitter posting quotes from hlvrai as i watched it. this includes on my masked disciple roleplay account

a picture of my danganronpa trilogy for ps4 copy. but its one of those live pictures so when i click on it i get attacked (i had the flash on because i took this picture in the dark)

that one really terrible picture of tommy coolatta thats like the first non-fanart picture of him on google images. thrilled to announce i think thats been the only image on his wiki page for years now

picture of hime & mikoto meika's mmd models. i think they had recently released or been announced at this point

catboy apollo justice & wolf boy klavier gavin gacha life gifs. i think my friend made this (if it was in fact my friend and not someone random this was the same friend who streamed hlvrai and thus changed my life forever btw)

that old meme about not passing [xyz] the aux because theyll play [abc]. it says "Do NOT pass the kinnie the aux / They'll just playin 'Alvvays - Archie, Marry Me (Official Video)'"

screenshots of calendar events i set up celebrating the anniversary of two dgs characters' deaths (genklimt fans rise up!)

screenshot of my real kinlist on my real carrd from 2020. i can tell it was just edited because this screenshot has scribbles on it (i circled the latest addition to my kinlist which is in fact "dr. coomer")

screenshots of me and my oomfs on this one specific anime rp roblox game that i WISH i could remember the name of. it let you import pngs of any character you wanted so we had pictures of ace attorney guys hanging out with madoka girls at some point. this specific instance includes klavier gavin, baby trucy wright, rosie from animal crossing & a blue orb thing(??). we are all incredibly small for some reason

john cena suit gangnam style depression. this is saved multiple times. does anyone else remember this post i used to be obsessed with it for some reason

picture of a historical moment in my life (the day i changed my ps4 username to "TheKokichiOuma" which i have regretted for years now. in my defense it did actually use to be worse than that im so serious. 2018 was a dark time why did i pick the name "DabWeebPolics". Horrific!

screenshot of a string of tweets between me and a friend at the time. the tweets arent actually important except for the first one which reads "these gummy bears taste british i cant explain it". this is only important because i remember these fucking gummy bears and they DID taste british in like the same way heathrow airport feels british you know

this one picture of my chemical romance in a forest(?) but bob looks like my fucking dad at a quick glance and it scares me every time i see it. i saved this multiple times over the course of that day

various pictures my friend made of jove justice being set on fire

the really short businessman with the fuckass bob from the lorax but my oomf edited him to look like kazuma asougi

picture of byakuya togami which is only funny because it has text on top of him that says "I. DO. NOT. GEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

a single screenshot of a tumblr post about the events of That Day (destiel putin election day.) the only other thing referencing this in my gallery is a screenshot of the trending tab on twitter (the trends are, in order. 1. #TrumpMeltdown 2. destiel 3. #ElectionResults2020)

two paper mario character pngs followed by that one misha collins picture. you know the one

various screenshots of a mishapocalypse happening on twitter

more super paper mario pngs

im going through pictures slightly further out from nov 4th now (i think after i look at nov 2nd & nov 6th ill call it quits). first image i see is that "gay people i respect vs. gay people i dont respect" image and i dont know why i saved that nevermind i scrolled and immediately found i made a dgs meme out of that

phoenix wright BASED ON GAY MANGA?

went through the ace attorney mamboleo person's deviantart that day i think so i have various funny works of theirs saved. i think the average person actually would know them as the stamp on the ground animation person so. Thats them too. on a side note watching that video after you got into metal gear is fucking insane

that mom against cat boys tshirt

a lot of unnoteworthy professor layton & ace attorney & dgs images

ben shapiro on the ace attorney witness stand?

oh im finding out i got really fucking mad at william petenshy that day. iirc i got so fucking annoyed at this case i didnt even finish it i just. skipped it. i wasnt even playing it i was just watching it???

one of those "tag yourself / which mutual am i" posts but all the options are characters from my kinlist. one of the titles is a jfk clone high reference

screenshots of dms to klimt van zieks begging him to drop a kinlist

a screenshot of a friends reply to my tweet (hi doop) which did just remind me of my "damon gant is apollo justice's grandpa" theory. this tweet manages to tie yanni yogi into the family tree

screenshot of a discord music bot playing a youtube video (remember when they could do that?). the video is titled "henry ledore does his taxes for 10 minutes asmr"

apparently i looked at characters i share a mbti with that day. highlights include souseki (the dgs guy. no idea about the real one), ron delite, flora reinhold, pyro tf2, agent 8 (splatoon), n harmonia & my goat DERPY HOOVES

screenshot of part of twitter's trending page. it says that trending in the united kingdom, with at least 3,610 tweets, is "Homosexuals"

screenshots of multiple tweets in a row from me. they all involve me frantically talking about how i really want to kin nagito komaeda even though i know fuck-all about him

various pictures of markiplier (both in real life & in fma)

real screenshot of me unironically saying "mental illness innit" in reference to myself. this was in my twitter dms with my friends klimt van zieks roleplay account which is even worse

original gina lestrade & egg benedict image made by me. if you know the apollo gant image its basically that

okay i lied i went back to nov 1st and i think i'll check nov 7th afterwards. one full week of nonsense. this proved to be a good idea because i immediately found a screenshot of a text to my mom asking her if she kinned gnomeo from gnomeo and juliet. she said yes

possible origin of why i own a boss baby poster: oomf kin-assigned me the boss baby

possibly my favorite example of the twitter feature where it shows you the original tweet and then the last two replies on a long thread of replies to that post. the original tweet is me saying in all caps "i care him so much he is so small" about luke triton (what a 2020 sentence!). the last two replies are from me and then my oomf but i think only the first of the two needs recounting. it says "do you really want to explain vore to your teachers". i know i say i want context a lot but i genuinely do really want context for this what the fuck happened here

oh good! boss baby update: theres a screenshot of my ebay purchase of "BOSS BABY Poster A5"

im on pictures from november 7th now. i think i went through a figures bot that day because i have a frankly ridiculous amount of figures (mostly nendoroids. mostly miku nendoroids.) there's also the default hime & mikoto png in the middle of these

twitter notification screenshot. apparently kristoph gavin ace attorney followed me that day

i think i went and looked through a christian memes subreddit or twitter account or SOMETHING i dont know where else these all came from. this is followed by a staggering amount of facebook minion memes

side note: does anyone else remember the aatwt (ace attorney twitter) & puyo puyo twitter crossover event in the michael's customer service chat incident? that feels like a different universe

this one is really nothing compared to any of this other stuff but i do have proof of me saying "pog" unironically

grand finale to this saga is actually from a couple days after (nov 9th 2020) but after seeing the staggering amount of death the kid images i had saved over like two days (i had watched a couple episodes of soul eater with my pals) i felt compelled to dig up my "death the kid get wifi anywhere you go" fancam. i might post it later cause its a classic (only to me)

thank you all so much for watching remember to like and subscribe and whatever. thank you for reading this if you read it for some fucking reason. i spent just over an hour and a half looking through this shit & typing this but it was a nice walk thru memory lane tbh! im gonna shut up now before i start rambling. feel free 2 ask for the images or context to any of these i literally love rambling. peace and love on planet earth. LOVE YOU ALL!!! GOODNIGHT NEW YORK CITY

[raven]

I’m not trying to get you crucified here but tbh I would love to hear your locked tomb criticisms and feel validated in mine

So like im not a professional hater for it bc i simply didnt like it and i only make well thought out analyses if i enjoy the thing a lot for whatever reason and to me tlt is more of a whimper than a bang. so this isnt the most well thought out & its been a year or maybe 2 since i read it. but lets go. i read the first 2 books & not nona the ninth btw, and i enjoyed gideon for the most part due to I Love Murder Mysteries. but once its no longer a murder mystery(& confined to one location) i felt like the whole thing fell apart. (That being said i will suffer through a LOT for a murder mystery) harrow the ninth was like.. confusing and i know thats the point but it couldnt carry itself well enough. like i like confusing narratives i like nonsense and i like it when it doesnt make sense. but it just like. wasnt.. good? i really cant elaborate without rereading and i dont really want to. Also it was very predictable which, how can u be confusing and predictable, idk, ask harrow the ninth

so like anyways the writing is pretty annoying. i cant say its bad writing because it's competent enough but it's like oh my god you referenced this meme from 2016 tumblr you are SO. FUNNY. like i felt like as soon as i would be like "ok this is real im getting into it" someone would drop the dumbest line in the entire world that was a reference to an outdated meme. (I wish i took notes in my book to give you an example but like... you know exactly what im talking about if you've read any of it lmfao) people are like "gideon is just annoying" and yeah, she really was, but her narration in the first book had much fewer meme references and it was therefore sooo much more tolerable imo. Like harrow was genuinely SO bad for it. but both books i read felt very very juvenile. like people will be like "it is NOT ya" but then why does it feel like ya. like ya isnt just subject matter, i would argue that the defining feature in all the ya i read as a teen was in its tone and style. and tlt totally has a similar tone. in an annoying way. like "oh funny and relatable" but like due to everyone talking like a 17 year old from tumblr.com in the year 2015 it was not like, atmospheric at all. and a lot of harrow the ninth is about The Vibe. And the vibe was not coming across well. it just completely prevented me from feeling like i was in another world in like, any way. and this is a pretty fantastical setting..

and now we move on to the fandom of it all. i saw a really good post a few days ago that i did not reblog or save but it was criticizing how ianthe specifically was written like, intentionally playing into fandom troping and it genuinely shows so hard and it's really annoying. like. ok. so i told my friend that ianthe was just discount nanami from utena. and they were like "that is not true because ianthe is a discount homestuck character, also how dare you say that about nanami." (Idk anything about homestuck so i cant tell you any more there) but isnt that crazy. she is a knock off of many. anyways so like her whole purpose is to i dont know. fuck things up in an incredibly non threatening manner? like she was not necessary but its like Omg #Failgirl! god i wish i could find the post because i am not putting it into words

i also generally found the relationships and characters to be pretty uncompelling. like i didnt really care about gideon and harrow it was like woah they like each other now. wasnt really feelin it. i know a lot of people like it and thats fine though. the characters i liked the best were camilla and palamedes and then they dropped the bomb that palamedes was a heterosexual and i was genuinely so upset. like the man had fag vibes. "Oh he could be bisexual" the thing is that he wasnt though. soooooo. this is like so unimportant but i really did feel very betrayed. bc like gay people exist in the series. and not him..? fuck off

Ok thats all for now good bye if anyone want me to reread the books and take notes and critique for real give me money i would do it and i would be so thorough. but i know i dont do these things often so you cant really trust my analysis skills so thats fine. anyways. yeah. um anon if you have thoughts on the books let me know i love to read them tbh. sorry this post is so long i am on my cell phone and i feel like it doesnt deserve a read more. sorry

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: The economy gets Deathspanked

So I played Deathspank past midnight, checked socials and found... the stock market has crashed... um ok, this is what.. the 4th major event that happened while I played a video game passed midnight?

This is news that I stumbled upon last night on tumblr, through the old tumblr tradition of getting news, via way of destial meme.

It seems that through countless years of saying "the economy is fine!" while pouring money into worthless scams such as crypto, nfts and ai-gen, the wealthy have woken up to find that the economy is not fine, if anything its fucked.

I dont have much of an opinion other than fuck the rich. This will likely effect alot of people, mainly those who make their money off of stocks. Im not the type of person who watches the economy so, hey, maybe stocks will be more affordable once this peters out?

Lets talk about games, im more versed in that.

So Deathspank is an action rpg diablo-like that was developed by hothead games and published by EA and it brands itself as a haha humorous kind of arpg. A lot of that humour comes from Monkey Island series creator Ron Gilbert who covered the writing and a lot of the games humor does carry that vibe. Deathspank himself fits the mould of idiot hero, very bombastic and confident yet also moronic. Think Earthworm Jim or The Tick. Hes also voiced by Michael Dobson who was Supreme Kai and Nappa in the dragon ball z ocean dub. Just an interesting fact to know.

So controlwise, you have 8 quickslots with which you can equip a weapon or an item to use. Your incentivised to equip and use a variety of weapons to build up a combo, dont use the same weapon twice and you'll increase it along with your damage and gain more "justice" which fills the big skull thing thats on your health. A feature that can be simplified if you just use two weapons and make sure not to use the same one twice.

When the skull is full, you can use a "weapon of justice" which is any weapon that has a rank and purple quality to perform a super attack. You can also block attacks and its VERY necessary since any enemy close to your level can take a chunk of your health if unblocked. Also if you block as an attack hits, you do a perfect block and get a full charge of justice.

You'll also find runestones which can unlock another super attack for you to use when your justice meter is full by using botb a Weapon of Justice and an elemental weapon at the same time. For example, a justice cleaver and a fire weapon for a fire cleave.

Healing comes in two flavours, using a health potion for a burst of healing or eating food which comes in stronger variants as you progress, recovers health slowly and can be interrupted. Eating food, can be very grating because Deathspank makes a very exaggerated messy eating sound as he eats. It sounds like an ass lover was starved of rump, gets presented with a juicy peach and goes to town on it. If you're using a lower level food to recover a lotta health, you are going to hear that sound "a lot"

The game doesnt really have any skills outside of perk cards when you level up which are mainly just buffs. More melee damage, faster run speed, longer lasting block etc. Armour is also simple since theres no item sets for extra benefits and what you do get is just extra health with some small elemental resistance. You have a toggle on your inventory to equip your best armour automatically and you may as well leave it on. As for any old armour or items, you have a personal grinder that lets you turn old gear into cash which is kinda nice.

I had a nice enough time playing Deathspank, its humor may not illicit belly laughs but it aleast got a grin out of me every now and then. I think while it is sparse in some areas, the combat mechanics do make it engaging enough and are worth exploring. It does have two sequels, thongs of virtue and the baconing but theres not much word nowadays about the Deathspank series since Ron left after Thongs of Virtue and Hothead moved onto mobile games. Currently acquiring these games is troublesome. I tried looking the games up on the playstation store but couldnt find them, xbox 360 store closed down so thats a no go although thongs of virtue is backwards compatible so its still playable on one and series.

So far it looks like steam is the one place all the games are currently available on.

Its kind of a shame really, i feel like of all the games that get remade or remastered, Deathspank is atleast deserving of it. Theres not as many games nowadays that mix humor and action that it doesnt feel forced. Also these games have coop, thats kinda neat too.

Vanquisher of Evil

Dispenser of Justice

Hero to the Downtrodden

Crasher of the Stock Market because i am 100% blaming him for the economy being fucked.

Anyways, see you all tomorrow. Feedback is appreciated, anons are currently on.

[borom1r]

The OG post seems dead but the full meme is in dm because Link so uhhh for both brothers ig?? Hope things get less shitty soon friend 😭🤞🏽🫂

THANK UUUUU there has been so much personal stuff going on that im not gonna get into on Tumblr Dot Com but im ready for it all to be done + today is gonna be. HRM. interesting at best

edit: forgot to link the fuckin meme like a gremlin. anyways, link

Boromir time 🩵🤍

🏳️‍🌈lgbt+ headcanon

gay gay homosexual gay

💌fluffy headcanon

THAT MAN GIVES THE BEST HUGS IN THE WORLD. back-cracking fuckin hugs. not afraid to show his love thru physical touch either. picks Faramir up + spins him around in a hug whenever he gets the chance. either of them might die any fucking day so goddamn it he's going to hug his little brother like crazy

💔angsty headcanon

emotionally stunted king. raised w/ the knowledge he would die for Gondor. as a soldier or as steward, he's dying for this fucking country. so his own wants? his desires? emotions? needs? those don't matter :) haha what do you mean they uh. they should matter? what??? nahhh....

🧸 hurt/comfort headcanon

Boromir Lives i do think he loses significant feeling/range of motion in his arm after gettin turned into a fuckin Gondorian pincushion. thankfully Aragorn's hands are the hands of a healer + he's happy to help massage away any aches/tightness

🪀silly headcanon

Théodred is endlessly frustrated that Boromir's hair is not long enough to braid properly. Boromir refuses to grow his hair any longer. this is a constant (joking) argument between them <3 (Théodred fully "your hair is literally the only way anyone would know you're not a true Rohir. grow it out!!" + Boromir "mm.. tempting")

💤sleep headcanon

used to sleeping lightly + functioning on the bare minimum as a soldier but in a Boromir Lives scenario i do think he sleeps like a fucking LOG when he finally adjusts to not being in constant danger lol

✨a ship i like with this character

Aragorn/Boromir for Painfully Obvious Reasons, methinks. also partial to Boromir/Théodred

🔪a ship i Don't like with this character

look, man. the amount of Boromir/Faramir fics I’ve seen. that’s his whole ass entire biological brother. 😒

🎃something i think they're afraid of

i mean painfully obvious but the loss of all the loves to the forces of Mordor

📦overall feelings about them

BITING HIM BITING HIM BITING HIM BITES HIM BITES HIM BITES HIM CHOMPS HIM SHAKING HIM AROUND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES MY GUY THATS MY GUY FUCKING BITES HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

📢favorite thing about them in canon

HES SO. LOVING. i have waxed poetic abt Boromir + how deeply he loves + cares for things i don’t have it in me to do it again rn but that man is 90% love and i love him for it

🧨least favorite thing about them in canon

NONE? that’s my Special Guy? like yeah ig i cld be like ‘ooooouuuu his fall to the ring’ but that’s stupid bullshit and completely ignores the point that no one is above the temptation of the ring < which is why i prefer movie!Faramir + his temptation. stupid that he wasn’t tempted in the books like ily Fara but that’s bullshit

💬favorite line they've said

HRM well “have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets” ofc. my url for my Aragorn blog is “clear ringing” in Sindarin :3 (nellad ‘laen)

🔔unpopular opinion

do i have any unpopular boromir opinions??!? i think if u think he’s a villain ur wrong + will ignore any further takes. maybe “Boromir Is good” is unpopular in the broader fandom but I just don’t go there. I do not see it

🔊a song that reminds me of them

OAGH. asking me to pick just one. foolish. i have a ton of music in my tag for him on @nelladlaen so here r a choice few:

Magnolia — Baroness (heavy weight, one more soul / leaving flaming arrows / hold on, eyes open wide / it’s the curtain falling)

When Will The Wounds Ever Heal — Crom (my shoulders ache from the burden of the past / I thought that I could bear, yes I swear / it’s so hard to find the path that leads me through / the darkness that you left behind)

Shock Me — Baroness (this is an Aramir song to me. “in a dream / a great calamity / to stone my heart and firm resolve / and render nerves to steel” “a deep well of despair I found / the day my dreams came true” Aramir song.)

Eventide — Kamelot (we did not go quietly into the night / old friend, now it’s time for you and I / to wave our goodbye / I will be there waiting with a smile / when you arrive)

also does it fit his vibe specifically? no. but do I think a man groomed from youth to essentially sacrifice himself on the battlefield for his people, to be a Figurehead on a pedestal rather than a whole person with his own desires, deserves to listen to angry thrash metal way too loud for catharsis? Yes. so Hanged Man’s Revenge by Spirit Adrift

📝misc thoughts/headcanons (you can specify something not on this list or i can say whatever comes to mind first!)

i do need him carnally. me every time i think too hard abt Boromir son of Denethor, Steward-Prince + Captain of the Tower Guard

Faramir time!! 🪶🌲

🏳️‍🌈lgbt+ headcanon

gay trans man ^_^

💌fluffy headcanon

cat-bonks his forehead against Boromir when he's happy but nonverbal. autistic ass man to me

💔angsty headcanon

the man was covered in fuel and engulfed in flames he fully has burns at BARE minimum on his limbs/extremities…

🧸 hurt/comfort headcanon

look man i used to make back-alley top surgery jokes before i had my surgery + was gettin sick n fuckin tired with dysphoria. Faramir has absolutely made some miserable joke abt Boromir taking him out back + just lopping them off w/ a sword.

Boromir at least ran with it until he got Faramir actually laughing + distracted from the fuckin Horrors

🪀silly headcanon

he + Aragorn feed into each other's echolalia. its so bad. one of them picks up a phrase/noise + its never long before the other picks it up too

💤sleep headcanon

sleeps EXTREMELY lightly + wakes with the first light. even in times of peace, never gets out of this rhythm

✨a ship i like with this character

veryvery partial to Éomer/Faramir

🔪a ship i Don't like with this character

same answer as Boromir

🎃something i think they're afraid of

ahh.. thats an interesting question actually. i think there's a lot of sadness abt Faramir but not necessarily.. fear. perhaps losing Boromir? whatever he fears, he does not show it < he's already a better leader than his father lmao.

I do think he has nightmares about the pyre after. all of that.

📦overall feelings about them

honeg!!!!!!!! that’s my little brother!!!!!! < Aragorn kinnie voice

📢favorite thing about them in canon

HES SO DEEPLY GENTLE AND KIND WHEN OF ANYONE HE HAS THE MOST RIGHT TO BE BITTER AND COLD. HE IS A WISE MAN AND A STRONG LEADER AND MOST OF ALL HE CARES!!!!

🧨least favorite thing about them in canon

book!Faramir my worstie. u and ur middlemen shtick and the whole I’m Above The Ring beloved u are an entire Man don’t give me that BS. also unpack ur biases towards other races of men the Rohirrim don’t deserve this. least of all if ur gonna marry one 🙄

💬favorite line they've said

movie!Fara quotes bc i do love movie!Fara he's a special lil guy. two bc i can't rlly choose between them

His sense of duty was no less than yours, I deem. You wonder what his name is... where he came from. And if he was really evil at heart. What lies or threats led him on this long march from home. If he would not rather have stayed there... in peace. War will make corpses of us all. — i feel like i love this quote for obvious reasons. ik this was expanded from Sam's internal monologue in the books but i do like Faramir having this line instead, showing again his compassion even in the face of such violence

Where does my allegiance lie if not here? This is the city of the men of Númenor. I would gladly give my life to defend her beauty, her memory… her wisdom… — this is my 2nd choice bc its such a like. such a good parallel of Boromir. or maybe not a parallel, but it ties so nicely into the idea that Faramir is trying to be Boromir for his father. so of course he'd give his life for Minas Tirith, because wouldn't Boromir do the same?

🔔unpopular opinion

again do I have one??? idk??? maybe that movie!Faramir is better than book!Faramir, that feels blasphemous lol

🔊a song that reminds me of them

Living Pyre — Khemmis (look is it ultimately a depressing song? yes. but it is a Faramir song to me.)

also Blacksmith and Ride On by Cruachan bc I think he’d genuinely enjoy Cruachan

📝misc thoughts/headcanons (you can specify something not on this list or i can say whatever comes to mind first!)

AUTISM CREATURE. WE ARE AUTISM CREATURES TOGETHER

autism2autism communication we r both staring into the distnce over each other's shoulders so we dont have to actually make eye contact

[lostacelonnie]

Ah hell my bad i did get. Really busy & really tired the end of year holidays are busy & really draining. I am a sea person but im glad that resonates with non sea people too. People try & talk to you often there? I dont know a whole section of verb conjugation so im not sure how id do there. Fried bread & cinnamon sugar what a peak combination thank you churros. Same i need to pick up more spanish food recipes. Oh? Thats a good start actually. Knowing simple stuff like eggs or grilled cheese or uh. Chicken noodle soup are good baselines. I mean. Yeah same to a degree. I turn them on when im reading or walking/going places. Keeps me focused. Mag is good. Same with nightvale & alice isnt dead. Thats some solid luck kudos to everyone for not getting attacked by gulls. Id wonder about that too australia seems. Nice but very weird. Like their one prime minister who walked into the ocean & disappeared. Kudos to her for finding one she likes & gets along with enough to move there. Ah nothin like light hearted roasting among friends love that for you. Oh jeesh thats like my geometry teacher i had once. Dude would get distracted & then skip stuff he was supposed to help us learn. & still test us on it. Had a different math teacher help me sometimes because he was better at teaching. Hell yeah english teacher for the save. She sounds cool. I dont have time for meta so like. Why bother when if something works it works? Oh is honkai meta that hard? Do i need to focus on that on the way through the story? Oh thats way better like star rail having a pick your own on standard after x amount of pulls. What genshin's fate system could be if it was good. Hmm im not sure where even to start. I guess about himeko. Like her place in the story & what her story in hi3 is. Since i doubt its similar to in hsr. Hell she does have that vibe doesnt she? Chill piracy milf in a way. I hope she becomes playable. A thirty minite backstory? Must be a heck of a joke. Or because of all the polish nuance. Thanks! Ill have to see how she plays of course but personality wise she's good. Fontaine has killed it with interesting characters. Oh? Why the screen limit is it a doctors orders thing? & no worries about that life hit me hard so i understand. Ah thanks im getting to where gear matters a bit so ill need that luck. Need to up talents & such more though. Makes sense then but damn 4 pm as the other option? Both of those aren't super great. I live close to my work which is nice but i still have to wake up 2 hours before for early days because otherwise i wont wake i am not a morning person. 4 am? Hell mad respect for that i could never im barely a person some days at that hour i definitely wouldnt be. Oh nice congrats! On the exam & the history memes. At least your friends are becoming nerds with you. Important group activity. Im caught up on show & manga releases but i do need to read the spin off still when i can find it. Claire has protag rights to one name

AH ITS OK i just. Dont trust tumblr to function properly AJSKFJJH. but ah wishing you some time to chill soon. i understand tho since its the end of the first semester in my school so literally every teacher is trying to squeeze in as many tests as possible. yeah sjdkfkkskdf thats one thing everyone can agree on i suppose!! and it really is like that!! the stereotype about spanish people being seemingly All Extroverted is. much more true than i expected it to be. especially when compared to poland where everyone just more or less minds their own business. and not knowing the language that well proved to be less of an issue than i thought actually!! as in. i do Not speak spanish very well but through a series of trial and error combined with a lot of gesticulation i managed to communicate well enough. AND FOR REAL good lird. they were so right for that. and thanks!! i can more or less follow intermediate recipes so i can Survive more or less. and ahh thats fair, i unfortunately cant really listen to stuff outside my house as i only own headphones and not earphones and i dont like being Completely disconnected from the sound around me when im not at home. but very understandable. ANYWAY YEAH AUSTRALIA IS. A PLACE. i heard about that one prime minister yeah..... wild...... and yeah ajdkfjg me and my friends have been dissing each other for a Long time since i did the same thing in my previous school. always fun. AND AOUGH I FEEL YOU i have. a Lot of teachers like that. but eh im pretty decent at studying on my own [if i find the energy.....] so its managable. with math teachers too actually which is very funny bc last year we had this one teacher [we called her The Brick] who just. did not explain Anything just start doing exercises on the board and then be disappointed when we didnt understand anything. so obviously we were very happy to hear that were gonna have a different one EXCEPT??? SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COUNT???? LIKE GENUINELY SHE DOES SOMETHING ON THE BOARD THREE TIMES AND EACH TIME ITS SOLVED INCORRECTLY. IN A DIFFERENT WAY. ah well. but yes my english teacher is very epic. if nobody got me i know she got me can i get an amen. and exactly i agree with you!! as in. i like when theres a Big Number so i try to more or less build my chars but im not gonna wreck my sanity doing the same domain over and over again. the honkai meta however IS pretty hard so i try to keep up with that. but im much less excited for part 2 so when it drops im probs gonna focus on gearing the chars i already have instead of pulling the new ones since you can do anything with a good support and i have. pretty good supports [HERRSCHER OF TRUTH FOR THE WIN]. id generally recommend Not Completely Ignoring it yeah. tho i did and still managed to pull myself out, but it wasnt a pleasant experience [god. superstring dimension with ungeared teams. Augh.] so. yeah. AND RIGHT???? honkais meta may be painful but the gacha sure is not. I WILL GET INTO HIMEKOS STORY BUT ITS GONNA TAKE A SEC SO ILL JUST PUT IT UNDER A READMORE AND ALSO BEWARE OF VERY VERY VERY HEAVY SPOILERS. since im not exactly sure in what point of the story youre in. AND YEAH shes just. chillen. and the joke is [linguistic rant incoming] actually not That long [i just love hyperboles] although there is one joke that is Actually pretty hard to explain. anyway what i wanted to say is that she has ESSA which. first of all this is slang but its slightly outdated slang [which, of course, doesnt stop me from using it] and it just. well when you say someone has essa it means theyre like. chill in a cool way. cool in a chill way. but also essa itself can be used like. hm. for example if you manage to do sth, say, pass an exam, and you wanna say you did it and also it wasnt very hard?? you can just say NO I ESSA. its not quite translatable into english but needless to say i shall now begin using it. AND YEAH FR rare occurence where genshin made me actually care about male characters. as in. i love furina forever but neuvilette has actually proven to be someone i like as well.

[once again. tumblr forcing me to do a paragraph break] his autistic swag has captivated me. and yeah ajdfkgjsj as it turns out im both farsighted and have astigmatism so i should be limiting my computer usage...... its ok tho im trying to get into traditional art more and also studying is easier. so Its Joekay. ahhhhhh talents are such a pain to level up.... i just never have enough stuff for them seemingly. yeah my history classes have godawful times good lird. and we actually do less material bc of that since our teacher just refuses to do anything on the 6pm classes and just does twice the material in the monday block instead. i love my life. fair enough tbh, i picked up an ADDITIONAL 7am class bc its not mandatory and was close to disbanding but my classbestie really likes it so i joined to make it less likely to fall apart but ah. im regretting my decision. but at least the teacher is nice so. AND FOR REAL i do not understand where they get their energy from. or the dedication. ESPECIALLY for this godforsaken school. and ah thankies!!!! and good luck with catching up!!! i LOVE the manga sm omg...... im also very excited for the anime since the love scale arc is starting today and its my favorite........ big hype. and ah i started playing noita recently!!!! very fun i love games that are engineered to hurt me personally

ANYWAY. ONTO THE HIMEKO LORE

i Should mention that im not an expert on himeko lore BUT ill do my best hehehe. however i will reiterate that heavy spoilers ahead, especially for chapter 9.

SO himekos backstory is revealed in the alien space manga [which, admittedly, i read only because i found out shub niggurath appears by the end and i love niggurath] but it goes more or less like this. i wont go into detail about what Exactly happened because truth be told this is a pretty long manga and i simply do not have the motivation to do an Entire Summary but basically. when she was in university, her father, who was working for schicksal and also the host of an Actual Literal Alien kiiiiiind of went berserk [without her knowledge, of course] and welt had to Kill Him. which is pretty bad because they knew each other and were Kinda friends. anyway since her mother was already dead and she was infected with honkai at the time, this caused her to join schicksal! of course, the entire time kept in the dark about what exactly happened to her father. so when she was in schicksal, she was in the squad let by ragna lothbrok, who also ended up dying in action, and himeko ended up in saint freya. she also made bianka join schicksal! so anyway this is where we get to the main story. i wont go into chapter chiyou bc im gonna be honest i remember Nothing from chronicles. but she was kiana and the others from the main squad mentor, guiding them through their journey as valkyries. when kiana awoke as the herrscher of the void during the void arc, she was also Actively Dying from honkai poisoning [since valkyrie gear uses the honkai in it but she had pretty low natural resistance to it]. fu hua gives her an antidote that Could save her life but, during the final lesson, she uses it to temporarily seal the herrscher of the void so that kiana can live on. and dies in the process. i cry watching it to THIS DAY. but himeko remains as somewhat of an Afterlife Guide to the end of the series, appearing as flashbacks and visions in the chapter 11 ex cg, meteoric salvation, like an entire section of set tomorrow ablaze, everlasting flames, and graduation trip. to summarize, I LOVE HER AND WILL CRY ABOUT HER AGAIN. AOUGGGHH. she actually means so much to me you have no idea you have NO idea

[swordcats]

follow people! :) we rely heavily on our dashboards which are built through the people we follow, which is why we consider reblogging so important because the only stuff that appears on the dash is the stuff that those we followed reblogged. its not often ill find memes or news in, say, fandom tags, but if i follow people from said fandom then they'll put it on the dash for me by rbing it from the people they follow. its unfortunately quite different from reddit as i guess you build a subreddit for yourself? but its a system that works quite well once you follow enough people

to find people to follow just start in the tags and follow randomers who have posted some fanart or a meme or whatever, then follow the people they've reblogged from, maybe the op of some of the posts they've rbed, etc etc etc. and, importantly, if someone you follow does end up posting stuff you dont enjoy, you can absolutely unfollow or even block them if you fancy. tumblr embraces the block button wholeheartedly. ive blocked someone because i didnt like the colour scheme of their blog. its a totally normal and expected practice here!

this all being said, some tips for the tags themselves because they are used and browsed, just not as often

sometimes you'll find that some communities do have certain tags for certain kinds of discussions. if you do find a post you're particuarly interested in, try checking the tags of the post just to see

if you're not wanting to see fanart, try blacklisting the word 'fanart', even if its just temporary. it'll help you sift through

you can also change the post types to text in the search function if you want to avoid fanart

thats all ive got. feel free to ask anything else and i hope this helped! :) good luck!

Reddit refugee here. I have an 11 year old account but I don’t want to interact with the site, at the very least until the API and pricing details are changed.

but how do you use tumblr in a similar way? i wanna find memes like you’d get on r/196 or news on niche/rapidly updating topics? like i get that it had to do with tags but i can’t seem to get much more than fan art when i search for specific topics or info that’s older. am i just using the site wrong?

also only using the app rn so idk if it’s super different on desktop

[honeycrisp]

i’m still such a louie 

[anx1oustig3r]

why do you draw dark willow like that

tbh i could give a snarky answer but i’ve had my lunch and a painkiller so im in a good mood rn

for me a big thing with character design that i love is trying to reflect the characters personality and attitude in the design and … i think i gotta take a moment to talk about valve’s issues with character writing in dota, specifically with poor little mireska sunbreeze

an addendum i also believe that anyone’s read of the character is perfectly fine and valid, this is just mine and i get that it’s extremely different to the Oversight one that’s more popular

tl;dr: i see her as a dangerous, evil character and draw her more sharp to reflect that

mireska in particular really suffers from her canon design. i dont think it’s bad mind you, i actually like it a lot, but i will say the first time i saw the character my response was “ugh of course, waifu porn bait, not surprised.” then i read her lore and i was SHOCKED because the character presented in the lore just didn’t line up with the visuals. now granted, the character in game is very “haha mischievous little fairy” but thats where i want to bring up the inconsistencies.

im firm in my stance that snapfire is the most interesting and well written character in dota, but i seriously believe that spot could have been mireska if they just commit to what was set up with her.

this is her lore piece in game and there’s key words here: spiteful, contempt, manipulation, cutthroat. along with the note that she was GOOD at dealing with this stuff. she fit in with it and even says herself if it wasn’t for her father she’d have stayed in revtel

it’s pretty evident here. mireska is an absolute piece of shit made worse by the fact that this is very clearly an active choice she’s making and has zero intention to change if these lines are anything to go by.

(tumblr is glitching so im praying it chose the right photos)

it doesn’t really come across when you load her into the game. it’s just, cheeky waifu at best. she doesn’t seem all too effected by what she’s supposedly been through. granted that’s the standard of dota writing, but thats what i’m getting at. the lore sets up one character but then the game presents you with another very watered down one note version of them.

so the mireska i draw comes from the character presented in the lore. a rebellious asshole who was fucked up enough to burn her families estate down to the ground AS A CHILD and steal a family heirloom purely to rub salt in the wound of her father, clearly there was some messed up dynamic there but the game wont really elaborate further outside of “overbearing”. i often find myself thinking it would have been great if they let her acknowledge this in game, especially since it’s evident some years have passed since the fire, you don’t become wanted in 6 nations with a nasty reputation and armies worth of assassins and bounty hunters after you in just a couple of weeks.

does she feel any guilt for what she did? has she realised that she’s set herself down a spiral of self destruction but she could stop it at any point as dontè implies? does she know this but trying to change and be better is basically admitting that she’s in the wrong which she would rather tear her own wings off than admit that?

i don’t know if im crazy for having this read of her, or looking too hard into a game that regularly gets memed on for not having any lore, but personally these themes of holding yourself accountable that hang on the back of her character are fascinating and resonate a lot with me. and i guess that’s why i draw her the way i do. i see her as this rough, conflicted character who’ll shank you first, rob you blind and not bother to ask questions. someone with a bitter past that she’d rather leave behind and be the worst version of herself purely to spite whatever expectations were put on her in childhood (given her father was a merchant king and the way she talks about him, there was clearly SOMETHING)

so i use a lot of sharp shapes, hard edges typical of a roguish dangerous character. dark outlines, fangs and claws to exaggerate that she’s a monster and a clear threat. she’s thin and gangly like a bramble stick you’d find walking in the woods in the dead of night, with cat eyes that gleam in the darkness like a predator watching.

i could talk about why i read a very queer interpretation of her too but i think i rambled enough as it is and this is gonna get posted to reddit where gamers will laugh at me and send anon hate to this blog but what can you do, such is life im afraid.

[illfoandillfie]

Impersonal

As promised, here’s the smutty followup to yesterday’s blurb! This is the fifth post of seven in my Platonically themed event. Again, it’s not really been edited because it’s late and I’m very tired but alas, thats how it goes. 

Words: 2,278

Warning: some vague dom/sub dynamic stuff with a more dom Ben, spanking, it’s P in V sex but theres a lot of talk about butts. Also they’re still dorks. 

It had been a nice day. You and Ben had gone out with a few friends, just a little picnic in the park to catch up with everyone. If you’d been at all worried about publicly being together on a no romo day, then it was for nothing. As much as everyone there considered you and Ben to be an item, it mostly went ignored, aside from a couple of questions about how you’d gone living together so far. But having such a big lunch, everyone having brought something to share, neither of you were especially hungry at dinner time. Ben whipped up a pot of butted noodles for you to pick at as you watched TV but it was soon set aside as you shifted to lean against the arm rest with your legs stretched out to lay over Ben’s thighs. Each of you were engrossed in your phones more than the quiz show he’d flicked on, occasionally sharing something you saw or read.  

You had opened tumblr and were scrolling through your dash, pausing to read longer bits here and there but mostly just liking images and reblogging memes. Until you hit a patch of not safe for work content. One of the porn blogs you’d long since forgotten you’d followed had hit a rare patch of activity, every second post one of theirs. Those posts you paid a little more attention to, especially when videos and explicit images were involved since you knew they were likely to be taken down soon and you didn’t want to miss out on seeing something hot. Unfortunately your headphones were in another room so you weren’t game to turn the sound on for any of the videos but the visuals and erotic comments below were enough to make you feel as if the room as heated up. You could feel yourself getting wetter at each new post but couldn’t seem to stop looking at them.  

A particularly good video of a sloppy blowjob made you clench your thighs together, your foot rubbing against Ben’s thigh as a result. His palm came to rest on the top of your foot, rubbing it soothingly, though his attention was still elsewhere. In fact, his gaze didn’t shift until a little later when you were looking at a very hot gifset of a woman on all fours, crying as she was pounded from behind. He cleared his throat. You jolted a little at the sound and tried not to look too guilty as you met his eye.   “You okay?” “Mmhmm,” His eyes travelled over you from the lip between your teeth to your tightly pressed thighs and your fingers wrapped firmly around the phone.   “I don’t mean to interrupt,” he said, clearly meaning to do exactly that, “but ummmm, are you watching porn right now?” “No,” you answered too quickly. “Hey, you don’t have to hide it if you are, go nuts. I’m just a little curious about what’s turned you on so much you’re practically panting. And can I help?” “I’m not watching anything. It’s just some gifs I saw.” “Well I think QPR law states you have to show me or you’d be a big meanie.” You chuckled and handed the phone to Ben, a little curious about how he’d react.   Ben watched the gifs through a couple of times before nodding, “Yeah, that’s uhhh, that’s pretty hot,” he rubbed your foot again as he kept watching the looped footage. “Are you turned on?” “Yeah, a bit,” “Hmmm, same.” “Should we-” “Do you wanna-” You spoke at the same time and then both laughed a little as you simultaneously agreed, “Yeah.” Immediately you swung your legs around intending to walk towards the bedroom and Ben followed for about two steps before he stopped suddenly, “Wait. This is a no romo day, right? Do you still feel anti-romance?” “Yes and yeah I think so. Why?” Ben shrugged, “I don’t think we’ve ever had sex on a no romo day so...how does it work?” “Oh, good point. Well.” you wanted to keep it brief, already worked up and wanting to move to the fun part, “I think it’s probably best if we keep it on kind of the rougher side, a little impersonal even. Could you maybe hit it from behind? I’m not really sure eye contact and all that stuff would be as fun for me right now.” “No need to ask twice. My hot partner wants me to look at her gorgeous arse while I fuck her? Yeah definitely into that.” “Jesus I’d forgotten you’re an arse man.” It was true too. As much as Ben might prefer ass to tits he also enjoyed the visual stimulation of watching you – seeing the pleasure on your face, watching your body react to his. So, while doggy style was a regular position for you, variations of missionary and cowgirl were probably a little more frequent. Which was wonderful, except not what you needed right then. Ben responded by poking his tongue out you but he seemed quite as eager to move things along, “So rough doggy then? Can I spank you?” “You’d be into that?” He shrugged, “I know we haven’t really done anything kinky yet but yeah, I enjoy spanking. I mean...watching an arse jiggle after it’s hit is incredibly hot.” You giggled, “spanking is very okay then. You could be a little mean too if you wanted, maybe calling me a degrading name to get at that impersonal thing. Slut maybe.” He hummed uncertainly, “I can try it if you really want but I gotta admit I’m not as into degrading stuff as I am spanking.” “It’s fine if you don’t, whatever works. Honestly, I’m already super horny so just do whatever you’re comfortable with and don’t get too gentle or loving with it, and I’ll be happy.” “I can definitely do rough for you. For instance,” You gasped as Ben grasped your hips and turned you around, positioning you in front of the arm of the couch before he pushed you to bend over it. It was a surprise considering Ben’s typical nature. He had his controlling or domineering moments but generally seemed happiest when he was showering you in affection or letting you take charge. Adding to the surprise was the way he tugged your pants down to your knees and began to touch you through your underwear. It made you squirm, trying to find a little more friction, but he only gave you a quick spank. Not overly hard but it didn’t have to be to make you feel tingly. Just knowing Ben was capable of an action like that was hot enough. All the same he pulled your knickers down too and ran his fingers through your folds.   “Wow, okay. You meant it when you said you were horny. Pretty wet already.” “No shit Sherlock. You know I don’t need lines like that that get you interested in fucking me.” He gave you another slap for your insolence.   “Better get you stretched out then, hadn’t we?” You felt two of Ben’s fingers rest against your entrance and expected to feel them sink into you too. But it didn’t happen.   “What’s the hold up, Tiger? Ow,” the spank had been a little harder than the last.   “If you want them so bad, do it yourself.” Your breath caught as you realised what he meant and you shifted your hips back, levering yourself against the arm of the couch, until you felt his fingers penetrate you.   “That’s it Kitten. You’re too horny to wait, aren’t you? God you’ve got such a pretty arse. Giving me the best view right now. Your needy cunt soaking my fingers while your arse,” he hit you again, “jiggles. It’s making me so hard.” You whined, unable to find a better response, and rocked back against his fingers, slowly fucking yourself on them.   He let you go on like that for a little while, happy to listen to your hitched breaths and needy sighs as you got a little of what you needed. But then he pulled his fingers from you. You let out a disappointed whimper, “Ben, c’mon,” “I’m so hard from watching you be so desperate. Just gotta get my pants off. But you can play with yourself for me, can’t you?” You nodded and shifted so you could drop your fingers to your pussy. Ben gave your arse another slap, “Not what I meant Kitten. Play with your arse.” Startled by the low growl in his voice you quickly complied, leaning on the couch as your brought both hands up to grab your arse cheeks, squeezing them and pulling them apart to better show off your holes.” “That’s very good, Kitten. Spank yourself.” It wasn’t the same as when Ben spanked you since you knew what was coming and the position didn’t allow you to get as much force into your hits as he could. But it was definitely arousing and it definitely seemed to work for Ben. You’d barely registered the sound of his pants dropping before he was sliding into your wet and waiting cunt.   “I can take it from here,” Ben’s hands replaced yours, groping your arse as you dropped your arms back to the couch, though you felt it was useless to try and prop yourself up on them. It would only be a matter of time before you collapsed entirely.  

At first he kept the pace slower, letting you adjust to him, though each thrust was forceful, just as you’d asked it to be. But gradually Ben sped up, hands still playing with your cheeks, sometimes grabbing and sometimes spanking them. He tried to say more about how hot it was to take you like that but his own breath was escaping him as the words seemed to be. So he let his body talk for him as he pounded your cunt and dug his fingers into your flesh.   And then he pulled out.   You were on the verge of asking him who the fuck he thought he was when he said, “one second. Just want to try something.” and then, remembering he was meant to be acting mean, added, “And you just want me to keep fucking you, so you’re not going to complain.” In a disgruntled daze you let Ben help you up onto the back of the couch so that one leg was bent to lean against the arm he’d just had you bent over and the other dangled towards the floor. It took a little more adjustment before Ben was happy. First pulling you back towards him and the corner of the couch, and then pressing you to lean forward so your hips were raised and he could better access your pussy. You had to grab onto the back of the couch for support, digging your fingertips into the leather as Ben resumed fucking you.   The angle had changed a little and the position was slightly more awkward to maintain but it was worth it for the way your clit rubbed against the smooth leather, leaving a trail of wetness behind. Each thrust rocked your hips in such a way that you quickly found yourself getting close to release.

That, however, seemed to be Ben’s plan as he began telling you how good you were going to make him feel when he made you cum. “I know you’re close Kitten. So just cum. I want to feel your cunt on me when you do.” He lay another few spanks to your arse cheeks and that tipped you over into your orgasm.   But Ben didn’t stop.   “I th-think you can do bett-er than that,” he grit out as you clenched around him and he seemed to thrust twice as hard as he had before, “You were so,”   You grunted as he plowed into you. “So desperate before. So you can cum better than that. Right kitten?” You nodded and gasped out a, “Yes” as your arms shook with how hard Ben was fucking you.   But he didn’t relent. He kept going until he felt you tighten again and heard you moan, nearly sobbing as relief flooded your system.   That seemed to be enough for Ben and he let himself go too, holding your hip tightly as he pressed deep into you.  

Ben leaned his forehead against your back as he tried to regain his regular breathing rate and gave you a quick kiss there before he righted himself and helped you to dismount the couch. The evidence of your orgasms was still smeared across the leather but neither of you paid it any attention.   “Sorry I never called you a slut or anything,” Ben said with a slightly self-conscious chuckle, avoiding your eye as he hitched his pants back into place. “I just like Kitten better.” “Don’t be,” you said mirroring his actions to looking at him, “Kitten worked perfectly. Also, that was really good. Maybe you could be rough and mean more often?” “The double orgasm was a pretty good indication that it worked for you,” “Of shut up, I was being serious. It was really hot.” “Yes but I like teasing you, remember,” “Prick.” “That hurts,” he said with a fake gasp and a hand against his chest, “Keep talking like that and I’ll have to spank you again,” “Ha ha, very funny. Tease me all you want but we both you enjoyed it as much as I did.” “Maybe I did.” he conceded, “but I wasn’t going to hate it when I was watching your arse.” “Alright, you perv. Was there any leftover noodles? Bit peckish now.” “Yeah, in the fridge. Grab me some too would you?”

[awanderingtortoise]

introduction and masterlist

hi everyone, stil not totally sure how this site works, but please feel free to chat and say hi. below the cut is a list of fics, along with links to their post on tumblr/ao3. for drabbles, snippets, or shorter fics you might want to check my writing tag: #tortoise tries to write or #tortoisememery if youre here for the incorrect quotes/playlists/memes/any of my other attempts at humor. for analysis: #tortoise analysis ; the tags are kinda fucked w the search idk why i think the search works on my blog itself tho

stuff i post: grishaverse (zoyalai-centric), marvel, bridgerton, pjo/hoo, lotr

(all my original posts are tagged with #me; i believe you can use that to sort through them. or not i dont know how these updates work)

I only write zoyalai atm but requests are always very very very (i cant say it enough) welcome, though i may take ages to do so i will definitely do my best to write them out. (anything sfw is fine). i think thats all, will update this periodically. enjoy your existences

1. how we go on (ao3, 1.7k) warning for mc death, angst

summary: It wasn't supposed to be her. It was never supposed to be her. That is all Nikolai can think, the only thing he finds coherent and whole in his mind as Zoya lies in his arms, eyes bright and radiant and blood blooming on her chest.

or: nikolai and zoya both realizing they dont have much time left. takes place some years after rule of wolves

2. even so, my sun did shine (ao3, 1.2k)

no warnings, fluff

summary: A sort of reverse of That Scene between Zoya and Nikolai in the aftermath of the Tavgharad’s-- lets call it a fiery demise-- but less angsty ‘don’t gos’ and more nonsensical fluff.

in which zoya is slightly loopy and quite a bit more clingy in the aftermath of taking a sleeping draught, and nikolai finds himself rather concerned at her lack of spite. hes not exactly complaining, though.

3. laughter in the rain (ao3, tumblr, 2.1k)

no warnings; basically half-crack, half-fluff

summary: in which Nikolai is much too found of puns while Zoya is the polar opposite, and a young, incredibly chaotic Squaller child wreaks absolute havoc on literally everything. (from tumblr ask: how about nikolai interacting with zoya’s students and them finding nikolai’s dad jokes funnier than zoya does (though she does secretly enjoy them))

4. all i ask (ao3, excerpt here)

no warnings, pining/angst

summary: Starlight glints in her gaze, in the jewels that swirl in the waves of her gown. “What do you want, Nikolai?” she asks quietly.

“A dance,” he says, and though it has barely been seconds he feels as though he’s aged a decade. He forces an easy smile onto his face, holding out his hand. “Nothing but a dance.”

or: a king and his general, and the words they leave unsaid. basically angsty zoyalai ballroom dancing while they play their favorite game that we all know as ‘lets constantly ignore our feelings for eachother!’

5. a heart's a heavy burden ao3, multichapter, 5 chaps and 8.8k so far)

no warnings, post-KoS, pre-RoW pining and angst to come but happy ending

summary: There would always be part of her that wanted more; for better or worse, a part of her that believed she wouldn’t know true satisfaction until she had it, even as she swore off the possibility with every fiber of will in her. She wouldn’t become what he had. She couldn’t. And yet fear of it now roils deep in her gut, old and dark as the scales glinting on her wrists.

(Zoya struggles to control the newfound power she has in her amplifiers and fears that her strength could turn her into something worse. luckily, nikolai is here :)

from anon request: after trying so hard to make sure that she’s unable to feel nikolai’s emotions with her newfound powers something happens that breaks zoya’s concentration and she’s finally feels the weight of nikolai’s feelings for her.

6. as the morining comes (ao3, tumblr, 997 words)

no warnings

summary: "Nikolai, at this moment, has decided on two things: the first being that he is a hopelessly lost cause for Zoya Nazyalensky, and the second being that he does not think he will ever stop smiling again."  part one of a bunch of fluffy zoyalai oneshots ill post under the series waltz of four left feet

7. afterimage (ao3, 362 words)

summary: basically hurt/comfort post-breakup zoyalai in a modern au

8. its always brighter with you (ao3, 748 words)

summary: an excuse for me to write zoyalai banter. basically Nikolai and Zoya going through all the shit Genya sent them and doing the KoS equivalent of Say Yes to the Dress with Nikolai

9. stills of a life tied in blue (that is to say, tied to you) (ao3, 466 words)

warning: grief/mcd

summary: a little fic and musing on the ever iconic blue ribbon and the roles it will play throughout nikolai and zoyas life, from beginning to end.

[anakinthetrashking]

BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt2)

 I AM HERE! With more recs for you! The last post was all about DadMight, such a beautiful genre *wipes tear from eye* This time its DADZAWA! if you happen to follow me, you might know that i really really(really) love Aizawa. a lot. So im going to try to keep this to only 10 recs, but,, well,,,, we’ll see anyway leTS GO

Aches and Pains by Badwolf36 Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~2700 words Summary: In which Izuku isn't willing to admit how much pain he's in, and Mr. Aizawa is just as much of a softie for his students as he always is. I’m always SO WEAK to stories that deal with the very real consequences of breaking all of your bones. Poor Izuku. I enjoyed the details of how he’s feeling, the way that the reader’s awareness of his pain waxes and wanes along with Izuku’s (temporary distractions can only do so much, A+ for realism there). Also, soft Dadzawa while not mushy-ooc-Aizawa! Conclusion: I love this and also want Aizawa to make me hot cocoa when there’s storms and i cant sleep!! (sidenote, everytime i see this username my brain shorts out bc my old ff.net account was also Badwolf## lol)

My Neighbor Shouta-ro by Hound_of_Heaven Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~2,700 words Summary: Yamada Hizashi, on Christmas Eve of the year he turns 19, jokingly presents Aizawa Shouta, also 19, with a Totoro kigurumi. Everything that follows after is pure chance. Heeeeeeeeeck this is ADORABLE. I- You guys- this is so pure and so precious and so!! go read it, i died. such fluff.

constrained by my own mind (im not fine) by CamsthiSky (tumblr: @camsthisky ) Rating: G     Category: Gen     ~1,500 words Summary: Midoriya Izuku is a problem child, and for some reason, Aizawa Shouta cares too much to let him fend for himself when the kid is obviously dealing with something First of all this is written by one of my fav Batfam writers!!! I was so hype when i saw this posted and OF COURSE IT WAS JUST AS WONDERFUL IF NOT MORE SO THAN I EXPECTED!!!! A+++++ in character for both Izuku and Aizawa. Izuku is jumpy and anxious and stressed and i love it. That the way Izuku started out, and while i am eternally happy at how much his life and social reactions have already changed, stuff like that doesnt just disappear in even a year, so I love fics that address that and expound on all the progress that he would have to make behind the scenes. and having Aizawa as the catalyst to begin getting actual help? *chef’s kiss* This checks boxes and then proceeds to cover the page in checkmarks LOL

remember from here on in by aloneintherain (tumblr: @captainkirkk ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~8000 words warning: spoiler heavy from manga chp 215 Summary: Aizawa glances from All Might to Midoriya quickly. It sounds impossible—he’s never heard of a quirk that can be handed down like a family heirloom—but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. Midoriya’s inability to use his quirk at the start of the year. The strange, familial relationship between All Might and Midoriya. The slow malnourishment of All Might’s body, like his power was being siphoned away. “You’re …” Aizawa begins.“I’m All Might’s successor.” Midoriya’s proud but shaky voice rings clearly down the empty corridor. Aizawa finds out about One for All. Awwwwwwww yiiiiiiiissssssssss!!!!! reveal fic!!!! one of my all time fav tropes!!! Plus it expounds on some future theorys/possibilities(Spoilers!!!) and you get some great interactions between Izuku and Shinsou, and plenty of opportunities taken to wear out our already worn out catepillar-sensei. poor guy needs a break but would do anything for these kids. Incredible characterization, great feels!!

Those Hardest to Love Need it Most by DancingintheStorm Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~8,200 words Summary: Shouta gripped the phone tight enough to make the phone case groan. “So it’s true. Midoriya was Quirkless.”“Until soon before the entrance exam,” Nedzu confirmed. “That’s not relevant now, though, because—““Relevant?” Shouta hissed. “Midoriya is barely functional, socially. He doesn’t trust any adult. He thinks the whole world hates him. He apologizes for everything except breaking the law, and I’m sure I can trace every single one of those things back to his Quirklessness. You call that irrelevant?”  Aizawa visits Aldera Junior High and finds out some disturbing truths. Yes. Just. Yes. Righteous anger abounds, local anxiety-child is told for the first time that his life has worth, more at 10 (I LOVE THIS ONEEE)

The Gaunlet and friendships and how memes tie the two together by averypassionateperson Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,500 words Summary: Shinsou walks into his first day in the Hero Course hoping to get politely ignored. He walks out having gotten into a sanctioned fistfight with the entire Bakusquad and a whole lot of new friendships. Also, memes are responsible for most of this. This fic is SOOOOOOOOO much fun. Always sure to bring a smile and honestly all I could want from a fic about Shinsou’s first day in 1A!!!

like light through a window by achievingelysium   (tumblr: @queenangst ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     1,139 words Summary: The first time Shouta sees what Hagakure looks like, it’s because she’s covered in blood. Coming from one of the best Dadzawa writers around, is a delightfully haunting fic centered on Hagakure!! The Dazawa is of course, spot on, the premise makes your heart ache as it plays out like a movie in your mind. So smooth to read, while so emotionally painful. Ouch. It is a fic with imagery that has stuck in my mind like a plant with deep roots, bc i keep thinking about it despite my too-much-fanfic-reading-adhd-muddled-brain. I feel like i had more to say but tumglr erased the paragraph i had originally written. D:   (side note, as i am keeping these posts to 10 fics... this fic came from her series of 30 min fics which you can find here on tumblr ao3  its an absolute goldmine of one-shots, go check it out)

a frozen pond, dark and deep by walking_through_autumn Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,800 words Summary: In the aftermath of Endeavour's battle against High End, Aizawa escorts Todoroki to his home for special leave, and they have a conversation that has been long in the making. (Or: Over two car rides and the mystery known as bubble tea, Aizawa divulges information, Todoroki returns the favour, and trust is built over unexpected similarities.) This fic felt just as quiet as the two characters it surrounds, which was really nice. Even deep emotional grieving can be quiet, since everyone feels things and reacts to things differently. It was a brilliant way to chip away at these character’s walls to let light shine through without creating an earthquake event to destroy the walls completely, you know? and it works off of canon so well. ah yes seeing the process of Aizawa realizing that hes has adopted another child is my fav    anyhow i enjoyed it very much!

but still my heart is heavy (with the hate of some other man’s beliefs) by honeyandsunshine Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~3,500 words Summary: Nemuri jerks a thumb to the side window, presumably the one with the best view of the front gates. When Shouta looks, a small crowd, all of which he can recognize from his class, are gathered around a sleazy looking man with a camera and a microphone. Half their quirks are activated. Bakugou and Todoroki are smoking. From the bushes nearby, a rather enraged stag emerges. As he gets up, Shouta just hopes they haven’t already killed him. Or:Class 1-A defends their own. Aizawa suffers, but looks after them anyways. I love how this doesn’t go the way you expect it to. and how much Aizawa loves and trusts his class full of gremlin heroes. The Dadzawa is so soft, his logic is sound, my heart aches, and i kinda want to cry. really, really, really great you guys

bend, don’t break by heyhamlet (tumblr: @hey-hamlet ) Rating: T     Category: Gen     ~4,100 words Summary: It started, as it always seemed to, on what was supposed to be a pleasant day. ---A Christmas shopping attempt gone wrong, Aizawa and Midoriya have to survive a strange nightmare quirk, all while trying to work out how to get out of there alive. Aizawa is injured, Midoriya is panicked. It's less a question of what could go wrong, but more what could go right. Another fic that has not left my soul since i read it. Some of it is truly terrifying in a way that I hope never haunts my own nightmares. and honestly isnt that reason enough to read it? While near death experiences bond people together well, nothing beats being trapped with someone in a nightmare that is feeding off of your deepest fears! If Aizawa wasn’t considering adoption before, he certainly is now. Found family before the monster finds you...0.o go read it, its a treat from another top notch writer!

well, thats 10! the next post will probably be misc. bnha one-shots. Enjoy and don’t forget to give the writers your souls love and comments!

[fipindustries]

critical missive

dedicated to @cryptovexillologist

oh boy arent we in a fine pickle now?

usually i enjoy talking openly and bluntly about my opinions on whatever the last thing i read is, safe and secure in the knowledge that the author will most likely never stumble on my measily 700 followers tumblr blog, so i am free to express my opinion to my heart’s content knowing that no feelings will get hurt. 

mission critical would be no different except i talked with the author and read their acknoledgement and the AMA they did on discord after writing the story and they have endeared themselves thoroughly to me so my language will have to be neutered, at least for the first half of this excercise. afterwards things will get a bit harsher but i’ll try to rest at ease in the knowledge that we seem to be kindred spirits and i would be delighted in hearing any kind of criticism of my work either positive or negative. 

ok, enough coaching done, lets go on to what i thought of this novel.

it is a delightful romp, as i said before, the worldbuilding is understated and realistic with enough glimpses of depth and detail to suggest a much larger picture. this world feels inhabited, lived in, like it was well chewed on for long by the author before putting pen to paper. consequentially the characters that arose from this world feel like they belong, they feel like real people with real lifes. by far the strongest sections of the book were the flashbacks to their lives before the plot started. their voices, regretably, do sound very similar when interacting with each other but in their own sections the characters shine in their charm and cleverness. every time one of their flashbacks ended i was left with the intrigue and the desire to know how their particular story would continue.

the terra ignota influences are very noticeable, the world and its people carry the same kind of almost childlike positivity and innocence, the same kind of cheerful, happy go lucky trust in human progress and the great project of humanity for the future with the same sobering forlorn attitude towards the horrors of the past.

on top of that its silly, gosh in heaven it is silly. it has moments of cringe, in the best of ways. strange slapdash bits of flavor, immature non sequiturs, small indulgences from the author’s own weird interests and dumb meme humor. i do love me my awkward corners in a book, after all it is those that make something unique. there is a clear personality poking through and it is a delightful personality to meet.

i cant help but like this almost more for the context in which it was written than for the content itself, it was done during quarentine as a way to both stave off cavin fever and to process the author’s feelings regarding their gender identity. as someone who also wrote a story where i almost deliberatly tried to trick my self into breaking my own egg and who turned madly towards creative endeavors to survive the pandemic i can sympathize strongly with this. i am really happy that the author got to do this and kickstarted a project towards a big, possibly decades spanning trilogy.

so, yeah, those were the nice things i had to say, if you are content enough with that you can stop here but if you are curious to know more, well... you can

in short: it is a bit of a mess. again, im willing to be lenient, considering the way in which this was worked on, this is very much a really early first draft. the second half of this story was a very slow and very boring trudge towards a sudden end.

first, the fact that the flashbacks and the worldbuilding bits are the strongest part of this story means the actual plot itself suffers from being fairly boring and generic. “astronauts explore alien planet, find spooky stuff there” was already old hat by the 50′s. it is a plot so worn down and archetypical that it really cant survive if that is literally all you are going to do with it, and that is kind of all that this book does. i did mention moments of flavor and strange self indulgence. we needed way more of those. yes thats right, im saying that this story was not self indulgent enough. when you have such a well trodden plot such as this, worn down to the point that it becomes paint by the numbers, we need quirky, we need cringe, we need strange excess and personality. the author mentioned that they would love to see some of the weirder alexandria fan fics, well so do i! be the miracle you want to see in the world! the moments alexandria debated if wether identifying as a trilateral were amazing but they were not enough. we have a great structure here but lets put some proper meat on these bones, some proper fat and skin, some clown make up and a weird novelty hat and outrageous clown shoes. im getting carried away here, lets get back to the point.

the other problem is  there is not a clear trajectory for the story here, no well defined moment of climax and the emotional beats tend to fall a bit flat or to come out of nowhere. there are emotional crisis which i sort of missed or didnt get where they came from. the characters act in ways that are hard to relate to  that come off as stilted. the way they conduct themselves through the mission felt at times weirdly unprofessional and like it didnt follow much of a logical throughline, and when i say logical i dont meant “i wanted the characters to act hyperrational at all times” i mean i want the characters to act in ways that make human sense. ironically the one character that acted a bit too human for my tastes was the AI. alexandria is an interesting character but i feel that the place to explore that idea is not in the middle of an incredibly important mission where having your mainframe experience a crisis might not be the most practical thing in the world.

the ending was jarringly sudden, i didnt feel there was a proper resolution and finishing it off with flashbacks to the time the characters were training was... odd. i reached the last line and it felt like the story had just decided to stop without ever having reached anything that came even close to the third act. all of this can be easily fixed with some concientious editing and a complete rearrangement of the different sections of this story.

all in all a great first step in what i hope will be a long career as a writer.