#if i were on the east coast i probably would but i am actively aware of several bears and possibly more than 1 mountain lion in my vicinity

[celepeace]

Tfw you hear a cool bird but it's so distant and quiet that merlin doesn't even show it's hearing anything

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 102

June 21

It definitely feels like the longest day of the year, I'll give it that much! The sun didn't go down for basically ever, even here on the east coast, and the kiddo and I were able to go on a walk outdoors that didn't end till 8pm. (And even then it was only because my very out of shape legs were about to fall off.) It was Father's Day too, so it was a day full of feelings, some good feelings and some sad feelings, and also full of food, all of it good. It looks like it might be a long evening too, as the kiddo learns the folly of pointing a desk fan directly at one's face while going to bed, congestionwise. 

I am very lucky to be surrounded by good fathers and father figures in my life. I totally understand and feel for anybody who has complicated feelings about fathers and Father's Day, but for me it has always been a day of celebration and remembrance. My paternal grandfather died when I was very young, only four or five years old. My memories of him are scattered and at least partially informed by the videos I've seen of us together and the stories I have been told, but I know that he loved me and was charmed by the way I picked up nursery rhymes and short poems by memory. My memories of him are vague feelings of warm affection and security. My maternal grandfather lived until I was in college, so I had a whole childhood with him. He and my grandmother were rockhounds who would drive out west and up into Canada to collect agates and amethysts and geodes, then cut and polish them in the basement workshop. He taught me how to use all his fascinating polishing machines to turn dull ovals of rock into beautiful pendants and belt buckles, and how to use agate sticks and slices to make rock butterflies. He was a quiet man who spent decades as an electrician, built his own home after the war, and could fix just about anything that went wrong with anything. I was devastated when he died, and looking back I wish that I had spent so much more time in his workshop and learning things from him. 

My father was an attorney for my whole childhood, and I always wanted to be like him. He was in practice with my grandfather, who'd started a small firm, and took it over when he died. When I was a kid I would go to his office after school or on weekends, when he was working and my mom was typing for him and there was nowhere else to park me and my little sister. I would earn money by doing small office chores like making copies, or amuse myself by going through the receptionist's desk drawers in a way I realize now was probably extremely annoying. He worked a lot but he also took at least a week every year for us to go on a beach vacation where he only called the office once a day, and he spent a lot of evenings and weekends at activities or concerts or debate tournaments or basketball games. He was always around, and he always took care of us. He is still that way, even from hundreds of miles away. We tease him about it, but we still let him watch us on Life360 so he can call us if our cell phone batteries get too low. Over the years our ideologies have become wildly divergent politically, and we have had some big arguments about it, but he is still one of the very best men I know (which is why I find some of his voting behavior so baffling!). I learned a lot about what it means to be a good person and a good citizen from my dad. 

I talk about my husband a lot on here already, so anybody who's been following the journal probably knows a lot about what he's like. We weren't exactly prepared to be parents when the kiddo came along; he was in graduate school, I was job hunting, and a doctor had told me I was almost certainly infertile. We were very scared, him even more than me, but he rose to the occasion without even a bobble. He's been right in the mix on childrearing since day one, the sort of dad who never views his share of parenting as "babysitting." He took over bedtimes when the kiddo was very small, because it gave them time together during days when he had to be gone all day and some evenings. They go off on weekend adventures to parks and museums, both to have guy time and to give me a break as well. My son is physically his spitting image, and I hope he grows up to be very like his dad. And of course my husband was raised by a very good man too, and it hurts that he is not here on this first Father's Day, but he did a really good job as a dad and he had a long, good life. I have been very lucky with all these dads in my life. 

We celebrated today by giving my husband breakfast in bed, as is traditional. The kiddo made him a card and we got dinner takeout from his choice of restaurant. Typically we do not buy each other gifts on Mothers and Fathers Day but rather allow one another to buy something we want, a luxury since money is usually pretty scarce. I called my dad so the kiddo and I could sing Happy Father's Day (like Happy Birthday, but different), and check in on him. I wrote him a poem that turned into free verse and veered close to prose in a few places, but he liked it. 

This entry is getting long and I did not actually talk much about my day, but ah well. I didn't do that much, besides Father's Day stuff and going on the walk. I'm going to try and walk every day, not too long at first, but just enough that my body stops feeling like it's rusting into a stationary position. It's pretty nice to walk around here, there's a lot of grassy space in our complex, and a large pond with fish and birds and turtles. Today the kiddo and I saw a mama duck and five ducklings, very exciting! If I'm feeling ambitious, I can go into the next door townhouse complex and walk around the buildings and along the edge of the wooded area all the way back home. I enjoy doing it, but at the same time I feel weird knowing that if I were not a white woman, this might well not be a thing that I could safely do. I don't know what to do about that except donate money and vote and remind myself to be aware of the privilege I have so that I use it for good and not bad. It doesn't seem like enough. 

(Edit and note to self: shift-enter does not eliminate the double carriage return in a post, it simply posts before you have finished editing. Whoops.) 

[weeping-petals]

Some Time to Be

 Word Count - 2,063

 Garnet is busy but Spinel is lonely and bored. Takes place before the Falling Out

Deep within the Crystal Temple, dozens upon dozens of bubbles hovered among the winding tubes branching throughout and curving within the rock walls of the inner chamber. Below, lava sizzled in a cast within the floor, the molten matter illuminated everything and projected light against the bubbled gems. Patrolling this and that way, Garnet roved redirecting and guiding multicolored spheres.

 An expansion of human metropolitan stirred corrupted gems into a sudden migration, and such activity pushed the feral gems into more frequent confrontations with humans. While a lull came underway of gem-human encounters, it was best to undertake the task of organizing new occupants. Take stock of the growing numbers, certify that bubbles were not overcrowding and coming under risk of popping. That would be all that they needed now.

 The task of bubble wrangler was best left to Garnet, who made the accurate and nice predictions of where it was best to leave which bubbles. Though it didn’t really matter, the bubbles would go nowhere, and absolutely no event would incur to disturb the slumbering denizens within the Burning Room. As such, no other gem was permitted access, unless for a prespecified reason.

 A thin line oozed from the ceiling and dropped, forming a zigzagging shape on the ground. The flattened figure reformed into a three-dimensional silhouette, and crept up on Garnet, rising taller and gaining more distinction the closer it neared the stoic gem. Meanwhile, the aforementioned gem examined two bubbles set very close together.

 Sensing a presence, Garnet rotated. Nothing and no one was there. Quickly, she performed a tight rotation, scanning the area, scrutinizing nooks and crannies, and shadows adjoining her vicinity. Aside from her and the bubbled gems, nothing stood out. She spun back—

 “Surprise!” Spinel bounced onto her hands, boots clapping. “Admit it! You were surprised. C’mon, say it!”

 Garnet was unmoved. “No.” She stepped by Spinel and resumed the task, shapeshifting her arm to claim another sphere up high.

 “Objection. You can’t deny, I caught you fair and square.” Spinel righted herself. And, sprang up among the cords curving through the ceiling.

 “I don’t deny my feelings,” Garnet responded. “I merely conceal them very well. Nonetheless, you did not surprise me. It’s become an expectation.”

 “Had to think on your own, didja? ‘Who could possibly intrude while I’m very busy? Who would dare.’” Spinel hung from her legs, boots wrapped about the tube she descended from. “I still got it in me.” She used her knuckles to polish the surface of her gem, like the way she saw done in the movies.

 “I am very busy,” Garnet replied. “And I need concentration. I thought you and Rose were going to explore the east coast of the green continent.”

 Spinel lounged across a bent tube. “Shirked duties for Greg. Probably doing more of that … eugh, kissy thing.” She puckered her lips and did smooching sounds.

 “And taking the Gem Sleuth to the inverted whirlpools with Amethyst?”

 Spinel lay on her stomach, arms uncoiled. “Off with Vidalia and the Sour One.”

 “Pearl?” Garnet set a Rose Quartz bubble aloft, among other similarly shaped stones.

 “Still hasn’t reformed.” Spinel slipped off a large tube and landed beside the fire pit. Arms outstretched, she balanced and walked around the edge. “Also, couldn’t get the permanent marker off.”

 “Spinel….”

 “It’s her own fault for taking so long!”

 “It takes you time to reform, as well.” Garnet examined the contents of a bubble, not looking the way the other gem paced.

 “Yeh… but that’s a condition.” She gestured her hands. “She’s indecisive, ‘should I do this dress. Or a new ribbon? Does this lace make me look know-it-all enough?’” She snickered.

 “Have you asked a human what works best to remove permanent marker?”

 “I think it’s an improvement.”

 The Saphire in her was curious to how long it would take before Pearl noticed. That is, if everyone could keep a straight face.

 “Oh-oh! Almost forgot.” Spinel bounced over to Garnet. “I have the best joke. You wanna hear it?”

 “Not now.” Garnet didn’t try to hide the sigh in her voice. She worked to tenderly pry bubbles down from among the ceiling’s winding cords, and make sense of the different colors through the tinted surface. “Some other time.”

 “It’s not long. Promise.” Spinel bounced in place, swinging her fists. “I start with rock-rock, and you go ‘who’s there’. Ready? Rock-rock.”

 Garnet redirected her cool focus to Spinel, disregarding the task at hand for the barest spell. Spinel made a shooing motion with her hands.

 “C’mon, rock-rock! Now say who…?”

 “Who is there?”

 “Garnet!”

 This does not compute. “I’m Garnet.”

 Spinel facepalmed. “Yeh. But when you say ‘who’s there?’ and I say ‘Garnet,’ you have to say ‘Garnet who?’ That’s the way the joke works. Lemme start again.” She cleared her throat. “Rock-rock.”

 “Who is there?”

 “Garnet!”

 Still not getting it, she inquired anyway, “Garnet… who?”

 Spinel posed, arms outstretched in her show gal stance. “G’Arenet you glad to see me?”

 The Garnet is unmoved. “…No.”

 Spinel unraveled. “Lika ya said, good at hiding the feels. That was hilarious.”

 “So share it with Amethyst. I’m very busy, as you’ve made a point.” Garnet resumed sifting through the suspended bubbles, dispersing the clusters and preparing to relocate the accumulated spheres brought low. For a while it was tranquil, and Spinel was placid in watching her work.

 Until the spindly gem sprang up among the pipes and snared one of the bubbles. She perched, holding the lilac sphere between her palms and turned it, concentration palpable.

 “Spinel,” Garnet warned, in her no-nonsense tone. “I have those organized already.”

 “You think they dream?”

 “I don’t think she or any of them are aware of anything. It’s stasis. For them, time stands still.” She continued sifting through the bubbles, disregarding Spinel’s interest.

 “But maybe they dream,” Spinel insisted. “About Home. About their friends. About… not ever coming here. Maybe they dream, life has resumed where they wanted it. They’re someplace they want to be, and nothing is broken. They’re not broken.”

 “The gems are whole and undamaged,” she reminded. “Perhaps someday, they will be recovered. And they will have that true life, wherever it may take them. If that means serving Home World, or, the freedom to go and be who they wish to be.” Garnet extended a hand, and set a gem among a collection of similar stones. “You’ve been sent off before.”

 “Yeah. But never bubbled this long. Some have been here.” She rolled backwards, flopping to recline on the curve of the pipe. The sphere she kept above, while she continued to turn it over. “Ages. Sometimes, I wonder how long they’ll have to stay.”

 “Not all the gems corrupted must be contained. You know this. There are gems that exist out there, that need no care or attention. But for those that become hostile and roam, endanger the humans or other passive gems, this is the safest solution. We don’t want others to pay for our failings.”

 “Yeh,” Spinel mumbled. “Keep everyone separate and protected. Heh. S’nice not being able to tell friend from enemy. Frenemy.” The term amused her into giggles.

 “As the way it should be,” Garnet supplied. “We didn’t want the war. We simply wanted to exist as we are, and to be left alone. We did everything we could.” She let a bubble alit among a collection of similar stones. A family, all together.

 “Do you ever dream?” Spinel left the bubble suspended and bounded among the bent piping across the ceiling.

 “Gems don’t sleep.” Came the matter-o-fact response.

 “When you’re unfused.” Spinel hung by her arms, legs crossed in front of her middle. “Do you dream, when Ruby and Saphire separate?”

 Garnet did halt her work and inclined her head enough to peer at the Spinel, eyes fixed with curiosity, but likewise concerned. “When Ruby and Saphire do separate,” though nonexistent in these days, “I cease to be.” She plucked a bubble from above and relocated it to the far side of the room. Spinel followed, loping through the winding architect above. “I know of nothing in that time, during that time. It can be defined as a form of stasis, I suppose, though I am neither here nor anywhere. I am not the one or the other, and I can’t describe it as being divided.’

 “But,” Garnet went on. She accepted a bubble, which Spinel handed down. “When they reunite, I have the collected experiences that Ruby and Saphire undertook, and share in that knowledge. It’s not the same as sharing in the events, I guess, it is like learning a story from someone you trust. I was not there to take from the proceedings, yet I am aware that these events took place.”

 “Oh,” was all Spinel said. Garnet directed a finger, and Spinel scaled up a few feet to collect bubbles – two or three at a time – and delivered them down. It was evident by Spinel’s eyes – not so much the silence that followed – that she gave this direction a great deal of thought. Such topics made Spinel contemplative, if not wary, and Garnet could always measure the cagey strategist that gave guidance during the war.

 After some work, Garnet broke the meditative hush, “The offer is still open. But, don’t feel forced to try something you’re not ready for.” Spinel tugged a bubble close to her chest and crouched, staring down on her. “I understand your sentiments, and respect your reluctance. But I am always open to sharing insight with you. Never forget that.”

 “No. Uh… thank you. I remember.” She descended and handed off the bubble, much to Garnet’s relief. For a moment, the fusion thought she might accidentally pop it.

 “Sometimes, I miss them,” Spinel admitted. She plopped to the floor, and assisted in collecting a few of the spheres hovering low. “But when they splint, I find myself missing Garnet too. When you exist, they cease to be. It’s hard to be without someone you appreciate, y’know? Pfft, I know they’re not really gone, but you are not them. And they, them, she and she, are not you. If that makes sense.” She rocked back on her heels, balanced perfectly.

 Garnet nodded. She led the way, to the exact point where she wanted these bubbles. Spinel handed a few to her, and she placed them securely among the coiled cords above, safe and shielded. “This paradox of not existing. This fixation has bothered you, since the song.”

 “Am I that transparent?”

 “Not at all.” Garnet moved to the other side of the wall. “I trust each of you to come forward at your own pace, when you’re ready to talk. Your privacy is important to me, as it is to you. That said, I would appreciate if you knocked first.”

 Spinel let her arms hang and rolled her eyes. “But then you’d be expecting. And the whole surprise would get ruined.”

 Garnet set a hand on Spinel’s head and ruffled her pigtails. “I would still act surprised. More so, than when you invade this room. Try it some time.”

 “Kay.” Spinel sauntered aside, arms coiling over into springs. “I guess I’ll… catch ya later. I might head up North, or somethin’. If anyone asks….”

 “When I’m done here,” Garnet began, halting the gem. “I was going to check on the Winding Glacial Plains. Would you mind accompanying me?”

 “Would I?” Spinel gushed. “No. Yes. I’ll go with. Er, no gem monsters? Right?”

 “Pure scouting,” Garnet assured. She already resumed adjusting spheres, diffusing a few rowdy clusters. “A bit dull, but the auroras are stunning.”

 “Then it’s a date,” Spinel hummed, through a crooked grin. “Come by my place, where you’re up to it.” She bounded out of the chamber, leaving Garnet to conclude the finer details of her work.

 She was never alone, and lacked the understanding for that nature which the other gems held. In that sense, Garnet was unlike the others, though no less a Crystal Gem, or gem herself. The Ruby in her knew that, and was experienced as a fusion. To Garnet, Spinel seemed to long for something she couldn’t grasp, or something she couldn’t directly inquire about, or risk invading that tentative line of privacy. It was up to her friends to come forward in their own time, to initiate conversation.

[katreal-fic]

Day 6 — for #fictober 10/07/19

Prompt: “Yes, I’m aware. Your point?”

Fandom: Homestuck

Warnings: Cursing, 2nd Person POV, Earth C world building

Part of a series. Please start from the beginning!

Characters: Dirk Strider & Roxy Lalonde

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It’s almost a twelve hour flight from Hearthstone to New City. The consort Kingdom was smack-dab in the middle of the largest ocean on the planet, the proverbial Australia-sized New Zealand of this new world if you remembered your Old World geography right, so nearly every single landmass was at least 10 hours away by plane. You fly faster than a plane, of course, but even once you hit land you have to cross a whole ’nother continent to reach Roxy’s lil developed patch of coast.

Not exactly a hop, skip, and a jump, but the remote location was half the reason you settled out here.

The other half was Jake English, but that was a handful of awkward slimy wriggling worms you’d much rather just casually toss overboard to turn into home-made chum. The fish would probably appreciate it.

Dirk > Jump Off the Shark

The original plan was to head out at four in the morning and be there by 7pm to crash whatever dinner plans Rox had going. But by the time you cleaned up your workshop--you have to keep things tidy. After all, you never know when you’ll have guests dropping in--and sent out your emails about any projects that were expecting activity in the next few days, you found yourself sitting on the edge of your roof, leg bouncing with nervous energy, looking off into the distance towards the dusk end of the sunset cascading over the--mostly--dark coastline.

You won’t be able to sleep tonight. You already know that. You hardly sleep as it is, except when you feel the weight of years you’ve never lived dragging down on you, long days and longer nights and crying babies and howling laughter winding their way into your dreams to the point where you find yourself taking random catnaps at uncertain intervals because it’s a moment of goddamn silence.

It isn’t one of those days right now though, thankfully, but on the flipside, it means you’re in for a stupidly long night.

If you bother to wait. There’s nothing saying you have to. All you told Roxy was you’d be there tomorrow.

You could leave now.

A sick set of orange and black headphones hang around your neck as you lock up behind you, killing the lights except for the courtesy red ones around the outer edges of the complex and the antennae. Your workshop isn’t on any publicly used maps, at least not the way Jake’s estate was, but most shipping lanes at least know to avoid this particular section of the coast.

You really hate that Hearthstone popped up so close to the structure. The consorts don’t bother, but sometimes troll merchants just had to shirk the commonly used ones. As if they weren’t designed to be the most efficient ones. Idiots. Always needing to go around the system. Believing they knew better than those who designed them.

Whatever. You slide your headphones over your ears, letting the laws of physics slide off you like they don’t even exist, your godly accouterments shimmering into existence over your usual black hoodie and slacks. You hate the tights, and the pants, but nothing else quite stands up to the quality of high-altitude insulation brought about by magic PJs. A thought, and you’re pulling up Booble Maps on your shades, relegating it to a small window in the upper right corner, mostly just to get your bearings. It won’t be very useful until you hit the continent, but it at least points you in the right direction.

Another thought and your headphones fill with some sweet tunes, blocking out the roaring of the wind and your own shitty thoughts as your stupid forked half-cape flaps behind you. You pull the hood up and over your head, protecting your ‘do from the wind the best you can.

You have a long flight ahead of you.

The ocean lasts forever, giving way to cliffs and mountains along the western edge of the great land of--you actually aren’t sure if they picked a name for the whole continent yet. The kingdoms don’t cover the whole giant slab of environments that makes up this particular piece of the world. You remember Dave joking about just calling it the New Land to go with New City and New Prospit and New Derse and New Skaia and The Farms and Village-by-Dong-Mountain--you get the feeling the Chess folk as a whole just like straightforward names.

You’re pretty sure everyone in that memo veto’d his suggestion immediately. You hadn’t really cared so you’d just peaced out and muted it before ever learning the resolution.

Booble maps should have it, but again, the Carapace didn’t much care to keep their records up to date. Just like the consorts. It drives you mad to think about not being able to acquire basic information due to someone else’s negligence.

You turn up the volume to lose yourself and just keep flying as the sky begins to turn pink in the east.

It’s a much more respectable hour of After Dawn by the time you touch down on the roof of a high-rise building you think belongs to Roxy and Calliope. You think, you aren’t entirely sure. It’s been forever since you’ve been out this way. Not since y’all got together and built the internet and Roxy came up with the greatest search engine name of all time.

The most recent address you found matches what you can tell of your general location, and the view over the bay--despite it being noticeably morning and not after dark--matches the picture you’d been sent in the email. So you shoot her a quick, ‘I’m here.’

Standing there in your godly PJs, slightly light headed from a 12 hr+ flight being completed in one shot. You slide your headphones off your ears to let them hang around your neck, your ears buzzing with the distant sounds of a city waking up, free at last from the mad shuffling skills your playlist had to go through in order to get you this far. Blinking in the pre-noon light, not even slightly bothered by the cool morning air or the autumn sun beginning it’s still toothless beat down on your skin. You’re a god. Radiation can fuckin’ suck it.

The door to the roof slams open. Roxy’s there in a blur of pink and white. She’s taller than you remember--almost as tall as you are now. Older than you remember--it’s been at least a year, maybe two. But she still squeals and throws herself at you, wrapping her bare arms around your  maroon covered shoulders. Her hands dig into the loose fabric of your cape. Her weight hits you, you rock back and shift to absorb it.

“Oh my gawd, you’re so early!”

“Yes, I’m aware.” You’ve hesitated for too long. A kid who barely learned how to interact with people before you fucked off into your own isolationist bubble. It takes you an embarrassingly long time to hug her back, “Your point? I did say tomorrow. Tomorrow is now today.”

“Smart alec! I told you to warn me, dummy!” Her weight lightens as she sheds her own hold on physics, and hovers to gain back the extra inch you have on her. Her hands come up and push back your hood with it’s attached tiara, freeing your surprisingly sweat soaked hair from its prison. Apparently even magic jammies had their limitations and you might have pushed it just a little bit

She leaves a big wet smooch on your right cheek, underneath your shades. Your eye twitches, but you sigh as she rocks back, disentangling the two of you and standing back with her hands on her hips. “That’s for makin’ me come up here at the ungodly hour of 9 am on a Sunday. I’ll be gracious and not punish you for also taking two years to get your cute little pantaloon’d butt out here to see me.”

“My bad,” You mumble, chastised. For a moment you see through her. A tall imposing lady, white dress and black lipstick. One of the few who could stop you, but too far away to realize that maybe she should. But you blink and it’s gone and she’s smiling at you. You let your princely get-up slide away into wherever the fuck it goes, leaving you standing in a much more reasonable--and tights-less--hoodie and slacks, “Time got away from me.”

“No duh it did. C’mon, let’s get inside and tell the peeps the good news. ARq owes me and ‘peta some ice-cream. He thought you’d chicken out.”

Of course he did. But you let her latch onto your arm and lead you inside.

First | Previous | Next

[imperium-romanum]

Welcome to 2019, everyone!

I spent the last week and a half at my family’s shack, enjoying the company of close family and friends, and Kali the #ClassicsCat, of course! I’m excited about the fresh start the New Year brings. 2018 was a difficult year for me personally. I haven’t talked about it on the blog because I prefer to focus on positives but as I prepare to face this New Year head on, I would like to reflect on some of the major hurdles that I had to overcome in 2018.

In January, my partner and I were forced to get a restraint order against my neighbour of six and a half years who became aggressive and threatening due to severe (suspected) drug-induced paranoia. We moved in with my parents while we went through the process to have the temporary restraint order confirmed. The restraint order was confirmed in February – a win – but we were not able to return to our unit. The local council, after 11 years of my parents owning the property, decided that our unit was not a legal dwelling. Bureaucracy at its finest.

During March and April, we fought the council for an explanation and started to try and resolve the problem. It seemed we were much more willing to work with them than they were to work with us, though. Shortly before the Easter break commenced my parents received a threatening letter from the council claiming that we were still living in the unit and that we would be fined approximately $20,000 AUD for the violation. This claim was blatantly false, but we still had to go through the process of overturning the impending fine.

We continued to try and solve the problem with our unit in May, but this was soon put on the back-burner when our cat, Kali, developed ketoacidosis due to undiagnosed diabetes. Within the space of 12 hours, she went from being her bright happy self to knocking on death’s door. She spent four days in constant care. I am forever grateful to my parents who paid for her care, which quickly tallied in the thousands. Without their compassion and love for her, we would have been forced to put her to sleep. I recieved many well-wishes during this time from followers, and I am thankful for the support and kindess you showed.

Left: Kali at AHVEC, weighing just 2.7kg. Right: Kali snuggling me and my fiance at a much healthier 4kg.

Kali's struggles weren't over, in June. She again visited the emergency vet hospital after getting into the bin, pulling out a wedged in chicken container, and eating the silicone absorbent pad while we were out for a half-hour at most. We still don’t know how she managed to do it! Thankfully it wasn’t serious in the end; she brought it all back up and suffered no consequences apart from all the dirty looks that my family gave her because of the panic she caused.

After a couple relatively quiet months, my fiancé’s family dog, Jess, also developed diabetes. She was not as lucky as Kali, however, and did not respond to treatment. Within weeks she went completely blind, among other problems. At only 9 years old, my fiancé’s parents were forced to make the difficult decision to put her to sleep. While I do not regret being there for them, it was the first time I had to deal with death in such a confronting way and it was a terrible reminder of how lucky Kali was to survive.

I hit perhaps my lowest ever point mental health-wise around this time. Although the semester was very rewarding, after such an intense period of balancing my personal life and commitments, PhD research, studying a language, and tutoring both academically and privately, I felt emotionally and mentally used up. The best way to describe how I functioned during this period is that I was on auto-pilot.

 Although 2018 was undeniably the most difficult year of my almost 26 years of life, there were plenty of positives too. In January I completed my Confirmation of Candidature, which involved presenting a 20-minute paper on my research topic. Then, in February, I was very lucky to upgrade my car by 12 years. Again, I am very grateful to my parents and very aware of how fortunate I am that they are willing and able to assist me financially, with work flexible enough to fit in with a PhD being so hard to come by.

I entered my second year of candidature in late February. It was a reasonably uneventful couple of months until, over two days, I gave two more presentations in May – one at Pint of History titled ‘Catastrophic Crassus: Parthia, #EpicFails, and the Death of Rome’s Richest Man’ and one at the Humanities Showcase at my university, titled ‘It Speaks! The Voice of the Door in the Roman Paraclausithyron’. 

I also secured a casual job at UConnect, UTAS’s student services. I had four weeks of nearly full-time work at the start of both semesters which allowed me to save enough money to get me through each semester.

In June, Kali’s glucose curve stabilised, much to ours and the vet’s relief; she has settled into diabetes life well ever since.

July was a month of firsts. I went to New Zealand for the first time and attended my first conference, Amphorae XII. At Amphorae XII, I presented my first conference paper, ‘Pompey’s Eastern Settlements: Considerations and Consequences’. I met some wonderful people, including some mutual followers! I also visited some of the sights, including the Auckland War Memorial Museum, Auckland Art Gallery, Hobbiton, and Hamilton Gardens.

When I returned from New Zealand, I enjoyed another four-week stint working for UConnect and, through the semester, I was also lucky to tutor the first years for HTC104: Introduction to Ancient Rome. This was my first time tutoring in an official capacity and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

When September came around, I received the good news that my abstract had been accepted for ASCS40. My fiancé and I were also finally able to move out of my parents’ house and back into a place of our own. The situation with our unit is still up in the air, unfortunately, but it is moving slowly forward. Still, it’s important to appreciate the small milestones, so to celebrate our return to relative independence we established a small succulent garden in the back area and grew far too many tomato plants.

In November, I reached a major milestone in my PhD journey by completing the necessary coursework element (what UTAS calls a Graduate Certificate in Research) of my degree. As a result, I now have the equivalent of a minor in Latin on top of the Certificate itself. Imperium Romanum also reached its first anniversary!

Finally, in December, my fiancé and I spent many weekends at the family shack enjoying the blessedly warm weather that usually skips Tasmania. Over the Christmas-New Year break, I went to the beach a record three days in a row. Sometimes, you just need to enjoy the simple things.

And so I must turn my attention to 2019. This, like the years before, will be another big one. I’m venturing into the third year of my PhD candidature in late February and, with the GCR finished, I’m looking forward to devoting my time to research. I’ll be attending not one but (hopefully) two conferences this year. The first is ASCS40, 4 to 7 February, at the University of New England in Armidale. It’s now only 33 days away – my funding was approved in December and I’ve booked my flights, accommodation, and hire car. As with Amphorae XII, I’ll be live tweeting the conference and blogging about my adventures in Armidale, which I have not visited before. I’m also hoping to attend Roman Memory: Pacific Rim Roman Literature Seminar 33 in July at the University of Newcastle – I’ll keep you posted on that one.

To finish up, I have a few New Year’s Goals that I would like to share with you. I won’t call them resolutions as I find that term comes with a lot of negative connotations; I’m not solving problems nor do I need to ‘better’ myself. Instead, I want to focus on enjoying all aspects of my life, from the private sphere to the academic. 

 1. Read more fiction. 

I love reading, yet, over the last few years, I’ve noticed that I do very little reading simply for the pleasure of it. Because the last six years of my life have been so academically focused – having gone straight from a Bachelor to Honours to a PhD – I’ve spent so much time reading for university subjects and research that the thought of doing more reading, even fiction, is exhausting. I could probably count the number of new books I’ve read (that haven’t been set for a class) on my fingers. I’ve set myself the goal of reading two to three new fiction books every month – if I can read more, great!

 2. Do more activities.

Last year, I went on a fantastic one-day road trip with two friends to Freycinet National Park on Tasmania’s east coast. Then, through December, I enjoyed many more small adventures with my fiancé. Even though I’ve never been particularly fit, I’ve always enjoyed the outdoors. Now that I’m equipped with some top quality hiking boots, I want to get out more – do more bushwalking, walk more rugged and rocky coastlines, and explore more of Tasmania’s wilderness.

I also want to spend less time playing computer games (much as I enjoy them), and more time making things. I’m no artist, but I still love to create things. I’m going to start off by making a pom pom rug in my Harry Potter house colours – Ravenclaw – to go under my desk. I won’t be posting my creations of Imperium Romanum, but I will be posting about them on Instagram and Twitter for those who are interested.

 3. Participate in a ‘100 Days of Productivity’ challenge.

While I have a reputation for being a productive student with good grades, the truth is that I am a chronic procrastinator who happens to be very good at whipping up strong assignments last minute. Even outside of the academic sphere, I’m somewhat of a procrastinator, thanks in part to anxiety. So, while I will continue to bring you the latest Classics news, there will be some changes coming to Imperium Romanum as I turn more attention to the everyday realities of studying Classics and my experiences as a student. Life can often be overwhelming, and acknowledging this and finding a better way to tackle the day-to-day burdens before the month-to-month or the year-to-year is going to be a major focus for me. I think that a productivity challenge is an excellent way to do this. Starting January 3, I’ll be documenting my productive efforts via Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. While I expect most of my days will be related to research, I have no doubt that the challenge will have a positive impact on my life outside of university.

  And with that, I’ll wrap up. To all my followers, old and new, I wish you a very happy and prosperous 2019. I hope you’ll share your adventures with me too, and I encourage you to share your New Years Goals – my ask box and submissions are always open!

~ Admin @sassy-cicero-says

[currycurrie]

I had my own whole post made up but trashed it bc it was too wordy but what do you think of the implications of Caleb encountering an object that transported them to another plane and bent time and reality and him then having to deal with the fact that an object created by a wizard that was probably capable of doing the very things he wants to be able to do harmed his friends nearly killing two of them. (1/2)

For me it’s cause for him to question if it’ll be worth it to change his past if it hurts the people he care for in his present (whether he wants to admit he cares for them or not) (2/2)

Alright I am going to do my very best to answer this in some sort of coherent manner after getting maybe 3 hours sleep cause lol east coast and then working all day. So if shit does not make sense, blame that. I’ll fix it when I wake up tomorrow haha. 

So first off, I actually don’t think plane shifting and the time skip would wig him out too much outside of basic magical curiosity. I don’t think this is going to ring his backstory alarm bells too much. I base this off the fact that Caleb can speak Sylvan, the language of the Fey and the Feywild. (Minor C1 spoilers ahoy!) If you recall from the first campaign, whenever VM left the Feywild there was some weird time-shifty shenanigans going on. I feel like that would be very common knowledge for someone as studious as Caleb who must have enough interest in the Fey to learn their language. (Speaking of Fey, my cat is totally Frumpkin-ing it up and scarfing it on my shoulders right now.) I also would say that plane shifting in general isn’t exactly uncommon. It’s definitely not common either, but an easily achievable spell for any archmage worth their salt.

I genuinely think what tickled his magical goolies was the study. It was a treasure trove of pre-Calamity knowledge. Barely anything exists like this from before the Calamity. It was basically the Exandrian equivalent of the burning of the Library of Alexandria. The Age of Arcanum was truly a magical renaissance, and any knowledge from that time period would be beyond priceless. Especially to Caleb. The Age of Arcanum was magic at its most primal and without limits. Totally unrefined unlike the very rigid learning wizards take up in modern Exandria. 

Now to the emotional meat of the question here. I think this was truly the first time Caleb’s goals were diametrically opposed to the rest of the Nein’s safety. There was the scroll incident in the High Richter’s place back in Zadash, but that seems such small potatoes compared to last night’s episode. There truly were lives at stake this time. And I think this was the first time Caleb was cognizant of the fact that his goals would actively cause harm to people if he were to pursue them. It was like a microcosm of Caleb’s whole story arc, and the ultimate choice it seems it’s leading up to. 

If I had to hazard a guess, as soon as Fjord vanished I think Caleb decided he had to make a snap decision on what he thinks is ultimately more valuable. Having the rest of the party around or his arcane wet dream come to life. I think the darker parts of Caleb’s psyche is playing the long game. This is not the only well of knowledge to be tapped. He knows the Academy has started doing research into time related magic. He has the dodecahedron which seems it may play a relevant part later on. And he can come back to this place if he truly wants. He can find other sources to fill this void of knowledge. He cannot replace the party with its tangled of web of favors he owes and favors owed to him. 

I also think this is the first time he’s becoming aware of the fact that his quest is putting him in a vicious cycle of sacrifice. He sacrificed his home and his childhood and his parents already, and he was almost willing to sacrifice more people to get what he wants. I think Caleb is framing this revelation in a very self-absorbed way, and I think it’s forcing him to compare himself to Trent which is just fucking him up in all sorts of ways. I think the shell of selfishness and self-absorption is starting to crack though. Just in little ways. Ways I don’t think he’s totally cognizant of yet. I think he’s going to be reflecting on what happened in this past episode for a very, very long time. Whatever conclusion he ends up drawing about this is going to have some heavy repercussions on his journey going forward though for sure.

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

An Oakland church member jumped out of car going 60 after going through an inner struggle whether Moon had lied

Onni Durst petitioned the court to be appointed conservator over the woman and to be in charge of her money, as well as guardian over her children.

The following are excerpts from a hearing held on October 27, 1999 in Oakland, California, in the conservatorship of an adult Moonie woman who jumped out of car going 60 on the freeway after going through an inner struggle whether Moon had lied to her about what to expect from Moonie life. Kristina Morrison (Seher) was is the car. The woman has been in a coma ever since. When Onni Durst petitioned the court to be appointed conservator over the woman and to be in charge of her money, as well as guardian over her children, Durst lied to the court. The lie was that Durst did not know how to reach any of the woman’s relatives even though two of them lived in the Bay Area. This is what the court said:

THE COURT: Mr. Greene, I have objections that have been filed on behalf of [moonie woman’s sister] to the petition for fees in the conservatorship. . . .

THE COURT:  Okay.  I, at the beginning of this hearing, explained to Mr. Goorjian what is troubling me about the petition for fees — and I want to say parenthetically, that I am not assessing any blame in this matter on Mr. Goorjian; that I’ve looked at this purely in terms of what information Mr. Goorjian has given by his client, Ms. Durst.

But as I stated earlier — and Mr. Goorjian, I don’t think you’ve convinced me to the contrary – I have real concerns about those statements that Ms. Durst made in verified declarations that she – and I’ll quote it from her declaration of, executed May 6th, 1999.

She said, “I was told by [Moonie woman] that both of her parents are dead.  I also believe that [Moonie woman] has siblings residing in China; however, I do not know the names and addresses of those siblings.”

And I’ll be very honest with you.  I have real problems with the credibility of that statement.  And I just cannot accept that statement, based on all the other information that’s been presented to me, which includes the declaration of [moonie woman’s daughter], the letters with the return addresses of [moonie woman’s sister] that have been presented, the information that’s been presented [moonie woman’s brother] and the information that’s been presented by [moonie woman’s sister].

And I understand the point that you’re making that, regardless of whether [moonie woman’s sister] of Ms. Durst had presented the existence of [moonie woman’s sister]  and [moonie woman’s brother] to the Court, she still would have gone ahead with the petition for guardianship.  However, as I’ve stated previously, if Ms. Durst had presented the information regarding the existence of [moonie woman’s sister] and [moonie woman’s brother] in her declarations, I certainly would be more inclined to grant fees in this matter.

And as I said, I’m not faulting you.  I’m faulting Ms. Durst for not giving you information that I believe she knew, and I believe she was aware of the existence of [moonie woman’s sister] and [moonie woman’s brother]. So – the request for fees in both matters, for Mr. Goorjian’s fees to be paid out of the conservatorship estate, both of the guardianship matter and the conservatorship matter, is denied.  And the reason is, I’ve stated, that I’m denying the request, is because I believe that Ms. Durst misrepresented information to the Court regarding the existence of [moonie woman’s sister] and [moonie woman’s brother], and I believe it’s her responsibility to pay Mr. Goorjian’s fees and not the conservator’s responsibility.

I want to add, again, that if Ms. Durst had been more forthcoming with the Court regarding the existence of [moonie woman’s sister] and [moonie woman’s brother] and explained the issue of the estrangement and explained the issue of their existence and why she was petitioning, I certainly would be inclined to grant fees.  But I don’t think she was forthcoming with the Court. . . .

I understand that this is a difficult pill to swallow.  However, when I believe that someone is being less that forthright with the Court in a verified declaration, I think that pill needs to be swallowed. . . .

MR. GREENE: Your honor, I would just — the argument that I would make against you issuing that order [allowing reimbursement of a babysitter] is that you have made a finding with respect to a lack of candor and credibility.

THE COURT:  I agree.

Tilman: “I do not understand all, i.e. what this petition for fees is about. And how is this going? Has the criminal cult succeeded getting a conservatorship?”

Ford Greene: “No. They tried. In the process Onni Durst got caught lying.”

Sunny: “Mrs. Durst shouldn’t have lied if she actually did. The judge felt she did. I suspect that her motive is to care for this woman who gave her life to Unificationism and see to it that her children would be raised in the same environment, values, morals and religion that the mother would desire. I do wonder where the father/husband is. Mrs. Durst, in her mind, is acting in the capacity of God Parent in this case, desiring to protect the children and the woman who is in a coma. But she shouldn’t have lied. The truth probably would have accomplished more.

I do not suggest anyone use Heavenly Deception in a court of law. If your neighbor is wearing a new hat which you really hate, you have my permission to use heavenly deception, setting your own personal taste aside, in telling her she looks lovely today. But when it comes down to a situation like this, either use complete honesty or say you cannot answer and plead the 5th.

Not even a saint like Onni Durst isn’t immune from making a bad decision. Unificationists are human, not robots.” Sunny

Glenn:

To Sunny Perhaps, dear sister Sunny, you’d be willing to go to jail and pay the fine on behalf of the sainted Mrs. Durst, since you seem so willing to rationalize her actions as somehow erring for the greater good. This is, I believe, the first time you’ve acknowledged the imaginary moral ground you stand upon. I see that as a glimmer of hope you’ll find more secure footing some day. Though I’m not holding my breath.

Lying must comes very easily to Onni after so many years. It was the entire modus operandi in Oakland, and the secret of its success. In many ways Onni was far more successful that SMM in creating a movement in America. The Oakland “family,” as all good Moonies know, was really a cult within a cult. For years and years, while other church centers struggled to gain even one member, the Oakland church, in its many disguises (it was Creative Community Project when I joined in ’75), was wildly successful at attracting and recruiting hoards of young, idealistic members. Most of whom were fed unawares like innocent lambs into the gaping maw of the MFT meat grinder.

And it was all based on “heavenly deception.” SMM’s name was never mentioned; his picture never displayed publicly. Calling DP by its name was discouraged and never done in front of guests. Direct questions from newcomers never received direct responses. People who “knew too much” were invited to leave. Only the young and gullible and naive were wanted.

To illustrate how complete this deception was, I thought Dr. Durst was the messiah at the conclusion of my first 7-day workshop up in Boonville. For THREE weeks no one said anything to discourage this view. Instead, I just got knowing winks and nods from the “older” members. When Jennifer Morrison finally broached the topic of SMM, I was flabbergasted. I’d never heard the man’s name before in my life, and I was so “negged out” I nearly left.

But you know, by that time the indoctrination was full-blown and I managed to “overcome Satan” (resist the urge to leave). But just for good measure, my “spiritual father” had the audacity to tell me that if I left, I’d probably be killed in an accident. Or Satan would attack my family. Yes, he really said those things, and with great conviction. He scared me to death. When you’re only 21 and suddenly have your head full of God and Satan, “heavenly deception” like that is extremely powerful. And it wasn’t an aberration. It was SOP–standard operating procedure.

Now, it has been argued that SMM did not approve of Onni’s methods and after a decade or so (gee, why he’d wait so long?) he decided to rope her in by bringing her and the good doctor to New York. I don’t buy for a second that SMM didn’t approve. I was there, and as I recall it, the Dursts came to New York with a mandate to duplicate the success of the Oakland model. And I believe they did. The workshops I attended in the Catskills were carbon-copies of Boonville, just in a different location. Most of Onni’s most trusted lieutenants were there, doing exactly what they had done in California, and once they got acclimated to the East Coast, it was business as usual. Suddenly the New York church was gaining members in droves. Even I managed to bring in a spiritual child or two.

One other thing about Onni, she was more secretive than SMM and every bit as inaccessible to all except her closest aides. In the four or five months I was in Oakland, I only saw her once. She was so mysterious and aloof (unlike her goofball husband, who seemed to be everywhere), I wasn’t even sure what she looked like. No one ever spoke about SMM. It was ALWAYS Onni this and Onni that. Onni, Onni, Onni. It was a cult of personality and she was it. The Morrison “triplets,” with their folksy American ways, gave her credibility.

One time we got word that Onni was coming over to the center (Washington St.) and you’d have thought Jesus Christ himself was on the way. You never saw such a beehive of anticipation and activity, cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. Older members spoke of her in the most reverential and awestruck tones, as if she was some sort of divine being who could levitate her way across the Bay. I was impressed. Exactly as scripted. Of course Onni didn’t come and had never intended to come. It was just part of her elaborate power trip. Exactly as scripted.

Am I surprised Onni lied in a court of law? Hell no. She’s probably couldn’t help it. What would have surprised me is if she had told the truth. Now THAT would have been a revelation.

Ford Greene:

To Glenn I left the Oakland “church” in late July 1975.  Did you and I ever meet?  I can personally confirm everything you say except as to the east coast stuff because I stayed on the west coast.  Your recollection is spot-on.

Glenn:

To Ford We just missed each other. I joined in Oakland in August ’75.

LINK to source

Creative Community Project brochure

Moonwebs: Journey into the Mind of a Cult by Josh Freed

Crazy for God: The nightmare of cult life by Christopher Edwards

Mitchell was lucky – he got away from the Unification Church

Life Among the Moonies – Deanna Durham

My Time with the Oakland Family – the Moonies

UC leaders stole passports from guests at California workshops

Recruitment – The Boonville Chicken Palace by David Frank Taylor, M.A., July 1978, Sociology

[chronicbatfictioner]

A Real Boy - Chapter 13

"So how does this Lazarus Pit work?" Bruce wanted to know. Actually, every adult in the room - Clark, Diana, Arthur, Zatanna, and a guy named Hal Jordan who glowed green that Tim has only seen from a distance during the Battle of Metropolis, all converged at the Wayne Manor's meeting room.

"Simply speaking, it activates cells with no exemption. Oracle and I have researched, and we found out that Luthor supposedly had a bit of this Pit's liquid that he'd obtained from an antiquity seller. My conclusion is that he might have tried to analyze the remaining liquid and maybe synthesized it to create the clones." Tim explained.

Right after Jason told him of this thing called Lazarus Pit that supposedly could bring the dead back to life, Tim had told Bruce. Bruce had assigned somebody that Tim didn't know to find it, and they found one right away - just right outside Gotham City. Further exploration showed that there were a number of them in the East Coast alone. At the moment, Bruce has assigned his JL colleagues to find all of them. It was quite fortunate that the Pits were not located out in the open.

"It still won't stop Luthor's curiosity from either finding more of the liquid, or - like Tim said - synthesizing it. There was a lot of vials of unknown substances in the evidence list." Clark replied quietly, and Tim had to grit his teeth. Clark was physically older by at least 10 years than Conner, but sounded similar, anyway. It didn't help that his aura was like Conner, too.

Not that Clark knew anything or could change anything about it. After all, Conner was a slightly diluted version of Clark.

"Right, presuming he has actually synthesized it, rather than finding a source; why did his other attempts not work as well as Conner?" Bruce asked.

"Because Conner has - had - a soul," Rachel replied quietly from the corner of the room. Tim exhaled a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Rachel's change of tenses felt like a sharp poke to his sternum.

The adults were quiet for a tad too long before Bruce turned toward Rachel and asked directly, "I shall take your words for it and not insist on explanation; but the question remained, how is it that Conner got a soul whilst the others - specifically the humanoid ones who physically looked like him and presumably has his biological structure - did not."

This time, it was Diana who answered, "because a soul is not included in a 'life' package, Bruce. Not all sentient beings have souls. My people's legend said that souls are granted by the gods, otherwise a sentient being or creature can have one that has either not arrived at or escaped from Hades."

"That's... about almost right," Jason chimed in. "I mean, not sure about the escaping part, but yes. Like familiars. Someone who was not born to have one can obtain one through a number of rituals."

"Alright... still doesn't answer my question of how come Luthor's efforts didn't work." Bruce pointed out.

"He didn't have or do the magick." Jason continued. "Luthor may have the best brain for science; but without the magick of the actual Pit..." he looked at Tim.

"People... like you, Bruce, think that magick is unexplained science, which is right in a sense. But to replicate something that originated in magick, there are things..." Tim hesitated. "Like-- I don't know-- if you cook, maybe? One can follow a recipe to the last T but still the bread won't rise or something like that. The 'gift', I think. I mean, I don't know what else to call it. That something in you that is manifested outward as magick." Tim stopped, realizing that everyone's eyes were on him and that he was rambling incoherently.

"I see," Bruce's glare made Tim want to go and hide or something. Everything Tim has just said insinuated that Bruce, the only one among them who did not have magick by birth, was somewhat un-gifted. Bruce, however, didn't even seem to notice the insinuation. "This is one of the reasons why I would rather have your team be present among us, Tim."

"'We', or 'you'?" Tim wanted to know.

Bruce, Clark, and Diana - Tim knew that they are often dubbed as the 'Trinity' due to their ability to complete each other - smiled enigmatically. He still was not sure whether to feel blessed or cursed.

"Bruce brought in the idea of having and allowing young people to be trained in protection, so I thought my skills couls be put to good use." Clark started.

"Since 'protection' may--" Diana paused and smirked, "--will also include offensive and not just defensive activities, I offered my expertise to train you and your friends."

"So it's us, not just me." Bruce clarified. "Hal will be coaching on the subject of space magicks, Arthur of ocean magicks, Zatanna on the ancients - to make it more tangible rather than if Jason was the one doing the coaching."

"Because Jason is 'just' a familiar." Tim remarked.

"Because Jason is also a young person, not because he's a familiar." Zatanna replied. In other times, Tim might fanboy a little at her. This time, he felt a slight bitterness in his heart and had to assess whether the bitterness was his or Jason's.

"We would listen more to those our age - even an ancient being who merely looks our age." Tim pursed his lips stubbornly.

"Yes, I am well aware of that. That is the reason why I would like to request the use of your island as a base." Bruce replied. "Your presence here is valuable, yet is more valuable there with the site belonging to you. Your peers will be more comfortable, as well."

"Largely because your place will not be 'related' - so to speak - to any of us. Their parents or guardians will also be more comfortable, I'd say..." Clark chimed in. "That was Diana's suggestion, by the way," he added belatedly, as if he didn't want Bruce to take the credit.

Tim wondered if Bruce was as manipulative as that; having Diana claimed the idea he'd suggested or insinuated.

"What are the conditions?" he wanted to know, anyway. It's not like he could say no if the adult magis decided to lump all teen-aged magis at his Island. It's not like he would say no - he knew well how those kids would feel, being a teen that no adults would trust and having a kind of power or another that they could not control.

"I was expecting you to give us conditions." Bruce admitted. If it wasn't for a very small uptick of confusion of his eyebrow, Tim's suspicion would probably flared up more and bigger.

"Do I get to send back the..." he paused, wondered just what category an 'unwanted' magi-kid would be in. Unruly? Unfriendly? Disobedient? --all terms could be applied to himself, after all. "...the ones who didn't want to be there?" he settled for a broader term. "I don't want to force anyone to stay if they don't want to. My island is not a playground or a daycare. And I definitely don't want them to feel like they're in a playground or a daycare." he explained, scowling a little.

The adults grinned and/or smirked. The guy called Hal quipped, "yeeeah, whenever more than two magis of any sources come together, it's gonna be a playground and/or daycare, I tell you."

"Hal," Diana warned quietly. "I can't fault Hal's observation, really, as he's gotten more experience with magis in groups. But no, we do not see or plan your place to be a magi daycare. But maybe one day, it will be a center where the young can find their own voice - proverbially speaking - without constant interruptions from the adults, yet while being safe."

"It sounds overly optimistic." Tim pointed out. "But I know what it's like to be... restrained from my nature. So," he shrugged. "it's not like I'd have many points of objections. Just... I may be a kid, but I know some things will require adult supervision..."

Bruce's smile was kind of all-knowing. "Yes, that's what Dick said, too. He will help you - he and his friends - to mitigate any issues that you might face that would require adult assistance. For the sake of... legal matters, I hope you will allow Dick access to your island. This will be fully at your discretion, and none of us..."

Clark interjected, "...we managed to make Bruce promise not to meddle too much. The point is, Tim, you'll be the metaphorical adult there. I trust you'll be able to manage them all."

Tim blinked and glared at Clark. The man might be the epitome of hope and all that is good in the world - magi or not. But he was more of a stranger to Tim compared to Diana Prince, even. Conner might have been Tim's best friend. But unlike Diana, who has had her times to visibly meddled with Cassie's life - in spite the fact that Cassie still has a mother; Clark has never gotten involved with Conner or anything that he had done. It was Bart's guardian, Max Mercury, who'd brought Conner along with Bart and introduced him to Tim. Max, formerly a foreman in one of Tim dad's archaeological site, noticed that Tim was 'different', and had had no qualm in promptly introducing Tim to Bart, and then Conner, and then Cassie.

Clark, as much as Tim knew that he was a part of Conner by DNA, remained just as 'Clark Kent', and that was it. Conner's life eventually crossed path with Clark's - again, courtesy of Max. Yet Tim could never see him as Conner's guardian of any kind.

To have him commenting that he trusted Tim with a lot of other magi kids was... a lot more unnerving to Tim than if it had been Bruce who said that. Or even Diana.

Bruce's quiet addition, however, steeled Tim's resolve. "I know you can, Tim. You have showed remarkable initiative by forming your group on the first hand."

"Yeah," Tim sighed, tamping down his doubts and fears. "we'll see how it goes in the next few weeks, huh? Let 'em come and hope we don't destroy the island or San Francisco while we're at it."

Note: You know what adulting does to an incomplete story? That's right. It darned near killed it. I haven't posted in the past few weeks thanks to adulting and life-based dramu. All I would exchange gladly for a few weeks of quiet to write.Anyway. Thank you if you all are still reading this. This, IMO, is a crappy filler. But it'll be clearer - I hope - by the next chapters.

[blschaos3000-blog]

Its 10:37 pm warm/dark

Its been a very hectic month but then again May is always like that in my house and has been for a number of years. After taking a little bit of time to myself,its time to come back and hit the ground running. Ruby was one of the actors who answered my open call to be interviewed in a FB group. Now up to this time,I have never interviewed a artist who is a minor,as a rule,I stay away from that simply because its a sketchy and gray area. But when I saw Ruby’s mom was like a hawk in overlooking who her daughter communicated with and the professionalism that the two of them showed me,I was very impressed.  Ruby is poised,well spoken,graceful and very well grounded. Of course it doesn’t hurt that she and her family are based in Australia which is about as far away from Hollywood as a developing actor can get. Ruby is off to a rather smashing start to her career as she already over 5 projects in various stages of production,she isn’t one for letting her craft come to her,she is definitely putting in work! So let’s saddle up and head to the Land Down Under and ask Ruby her 8 Questions!!! Please introduce yourself and tell about the project you are currently working on.

  My name is Ruby Lott and I am an Australian teen actress, living on the beautiful Gold Coast in Queensland. I am originally from Melbourne, Victoria, but my family moved to Queensland when I was 4 years old.  I have an older sister, an older brother, and a younger sister who is also an actress. My first introduction to the world of acting was when I was 7 years old and I started youth theatre classes every weekend at our local community theatre. After 5 years of classes and performances there, I branched out into student and short films, and then eventually, the exciting world of feature films!

I am fortunate enough to be currently filming a fantastic feature film, right here in Queensland. This is a super exciting film about crime and corruption. One of the things I really love about this film, is the portrayal of strong, intelligent, female characters.

What led you in deciding to be an actress? How did your parents react to this?

I guess as a child, it was just a natural extension of playing dress-up and ‘trying different characters on for size!’ I loved being able to become different people, even for just a short time. As I got older, I realised that acting was a fantastic way to not only entertain people (everyone needs a bit of escapism from time to time!), but in some cases also raise awareness on important topics. I feel extremely fortunate and privileged to be able to be a part of that.

My parents have always been encouraging and supportive of my wish to pursue acting.  Once we moved to the Gold Coast, they found a local youth theatre and signed me up! That’s really where it all began.

 How important is family you? Do you have any pets?

  Family is one of the most important things to me and I don’t know what I would without their constant love and support. I have two dogs and a cat called Maple. I adopted Maple f rom an animal shelter 3 years ago and I love her so much! We have a wonderful animal rescue centre here on the Gold Coast and I will begin training there as a volunteer next month. I’m really looking forward to helping out there as much as I can.

  Which do you prefer, live theatre or doing films/TV and why?

I fell in love with the world of theatre when I started my very first drama classes. I loved that sense of being in the moment and feeling the audience’s emotions right then and there. If I had to choose just one now however, I would pick film and television because those stories, and the memories associated with filming, can be watched and experienced time and time again. I also really, really love to travel. Working on films gives me the opportunity to travel to and explore so many new places.

As well as working on films, I hope to be able to combine my love of travel with some great causes that I would really like to support. For example there is a wonderful charity organisation in Vietnam called Vietnam Cat Welfare. They work to rescue, rehabilitate  and re-home many cats, including those rescued from the cat and dog meat trade. They have a cool cat café too, Jack’s Cat Café. I hope to be able to visit and maybe even make a short documentary on their work one day.

How do you keep grounded and focused?

It can definitely be hard in this industry. There is a lot of auditioning, and unfortunately a lot more ‘nos’ than ‘yesses.’ It can be all too easy to start to feel that you’re not good enough.  Thankfully, I have amazing friends and family that I can seek support from. I also train regularly in mixed martial arts and enjoy getting out into nature when I can. I find these sorts of activities help take my mind off things and help me to focus on the present.

What three pieces of advice have helped you the most professionally?

  Simply learning a script isn’t the key to booking the job, however it is important to know it so well that it becomes like muscle memory. This means you can then focus on portraying that character correctly. A great tip that has helped me with learning my scripts is to film yourself reading out the other character/s lines and replay it for yourself. That way, you can practise rehearsing your lines even when you are alone.

Create a backstory. You have no idea how many scripts I get that don’t give me any information about the actual character I’m playing, so I make up a past for them. For example, if the character seems sad all the time, what caused it? Did a loved one pass away?  Did they barely escape death themselves? I try to immerse myself in their world and leave myself behind, in order to become the character. I think how they would walk, how they would talk etc.

Another piece of great advice I have been given, is to say each line meaningfully, depending on who the other character is that I am talking to. For example, just taking into account how my character actually feels about the other character, has a huge impact on how I would deliver my lines.

What three actors would you like to act with the most and why?

There are so many amazingly talented actors, but I think for me, I would love to work with:

Emma Watson- I have loved Emma since I was very young and watched the Harry Potter series. She is probably one of the main reasons I wanted to begin acting! I know that I would be able to learn a huge amount from working with her, not to mention she is absolutely inspiring in the way she brings awareness to important world issues. I hope one day that I too will be able to use the platform of this industry to speak about important issues and hopefully make a difference.

Aidan Gallagher- I find Aidan really interesting to watch on screen, and I love the way he is able to portray a young character with a really mature mindset in ‘The Umbrella Academy.’ Although Aidan, like me, is still a teen, he doesn’t turn a blind eye to important issues. He is a vegan, and also very active on environmental issues. I’m pretty sure we would get on well!

Jennifer Lawrence- Jennifer can capture the audience in every movie, regardless of the character she plays. The way she absolutely makes each role her own, is really inspiring.  I would most definitely love to learn from her. What an amazing experience that would be!

What type of things do you like to do when you are not acting?

I love to spend most of my free time with my best friends or relaxing with a nice book. After school or acting, I like to wind down peacefully! I also love singing, but I’m not very good!

I see your sister is a working actress as well, do you ever audition for the same roles  or do you take turns?

Generally we audition for different roles, as she is a few years younger, so that has never been a problem for us. I think there has actually been only two instances where we have gone for the same role, and neither of us got it!

What has been your favourite role to play so far and why?

To be honest, I’ve really enjoyed all my roles, but one really fun one was playing the Pied Piper in a live theatre show. I think I enjoyed it so much because it was completely different to a lot of the other roles I’d had. For starters, everything I said was in rhyme! The light-hearted nature of this show was a nice change from all the more serious dramatic roles I’d had.

 So your mom and dad have invited Paladin the cheetah and myself to watch you perform live but we are a day early and now the Lott family has to be tour guides, what are we doing?

The Gold Coast is a city of over 580,000  people in South-East Qld. It is a very popular tourist destination for both Australians and international visitors. It is most famous for the spectacular beaches, and great weather. We would definitely be taking a tour of some of our favourite beaches! If we were feeling energetic, we could go swimming or surfing, and if not, we would probably just take my two dogs Allie and Roxy and go for a nice long walk. On weekends there are some great beachside art and craft markets to explore too.    If we were all still feeling like enjoying the great outdoors, we could also explore our national parks. There are some great bushwalks, complete with waterfalls and even glow worm caves. (Sorry Paladin, you wouldn’t be allowed there though!) After our energetic day out, I think we would have to take you into Surfers Paradise and visit the Q1 Building. It is 230m  high and has 360 degree views of the Gold Coast from the SkyPoint Observation Deck. It’s pretty cool! And before heading home, we would need to make one more very important stop in Surfers Paradise…The Crazy Cat Café of course! We can have a nice snack and Paladin can make some new friends!

Oh if only that true,I’m just afraid that Paladin would force the owner to create the Crazy Cheetah Cafe…… I like to thank Ruby and Mrs. Lott for taking the time to sit with us and talk about Ruby’s career and goals. Like I said,Ruby is very well grounded and family oriented,two major keys in having long term success in the entertainment world. Of course being that Ruby is a young lady in this ever changing world,she has the various social network platforms that you can follow her on.

You can follow Ruby’s career by going to her IMDb page. Ruby also has a page on InstaGram.

  Please feel free to drop a comment or three and we’ll make sure Ruby sees them. Thank you for both supporting young artists like Ruby and also the cheetah and myself. We are grateful!

8 Questions with………….actress Ruby Lott Its 10:37 pm warm/dark Its been a very hectic month but then again May is always like that in my house and has been for a number of years.

[acetechne]

I'm confused on how many ocs are there. Can I join this? Is there a St John's?

ok [cracks knuckles but unsuccessfully and just does an awkward hand stretch instead] here’s a crash course in What Is This Thing I Do

SHORT ANSWER: there are some ocs but while i basically know everyone in our lil group i dont take an official census of how many or who’s active etc. Re: joining, sure why not? and no there is not yet a St Johns and we’re kind of lacking in the east coast in general I’m afraid. We’re a loose unofficial conglomeration of people who met through a common hetalia project or two and so some of us make ocs - there’s kind of an unspoken rule that if an oc for a place already exists and the person is still active its polite to not do duplicates, but its not a hard/fast rule. It’s no fun to play favourites and start drama you know?

LONG ANSWER which is probably gonna get long so I’ll explain below the cut.

ONCE UPON A TIME i dunno if you guys all would remember this but ONCE UPON A TIME in 2008-9 the (English) Hetalia fandom was young and we were all really excited about this Thing that was pretty limited as far as I’m aware to Livejournal, which is how I found 

The I Am Matthewian Project (2009-2011 ish?)

you may have seen us around youtube or deviantart- basically its a hetalia fan project about Canada and his 13 provinces and territories (created by ctcsherry) and we did voice acting and stuff- I was the VA for Yukon and the most recent VA for Alberta and I did a lot of art for the project that i can no longer look at without cringing because HAHA what is anatomy. The project is currently on hiatus indefinitely and a lot of us have drifted our separate ways so I try to keep tabs on everyone where I can but I’m also Kinda Shy and don’t like prying or tracking people down all the time. Would I change some things about how the project was done or some of the dumb kid things I said or did or whatever? Yes. Do I regret the fun times, the art improvement, and the friends I made? Not on yer life bud.

Anyway the cities started as a roleplay thing and it’s kind of surprising since I’m really not a good roleplayer and I really don’t enjoy rping that my ocs, out of all of them that were made on those old boards, survived the longest. They’re nearly ten years old, man! But yeah, as far as I’m aware Ed and Cal are the only surviving OCs I created back in those early days- you can still see some of the old designs floating around dA but they were never really fleshed out and more just created as a little roleplay game between us that wasn’t really meant to go anywhere (although a couple of us, myself included, did sneak OCs into finished IAMP episodes).

Project Canada (2013-?)

So apparently people actually enjoyed and missed our lil videos so the project got rebooted. New admins, new fans, a couple of veterans from IAMP, that sort of thing. Same province and territory characters, new direction. Or… lack of direction idk xD; I loved being an admin for the project but we never really got off the ground because I think we rushed a little too fast and I ended up leaving my post for a variety of reasons. I’m making a go of it on my own now which is why I don’t speak for everyone who posts in the projectcanada cities tag (but lets be honest 90% of that tag is Me haha, I’m the annoyance that made the tag necessary in the first place)

The projectcanada cities tag is generally people who are or were members of this little group- we’re by no means an exclusive club and not all ocs were created /out/ of the project, I’m sure some people like me saw the opportunity to bring back some old ocs and revitalize them with a new audience and new people to brainstorm with- these might have been roleplay ocs or ocs doodled for fun or ocs that came together out of the fear that - like in the IAMP - we’d create ocs for the fun of it off stereotypes rather than putting a huge whack of thought into it, haha. (I admit though, for our own storytelling purposes quatsch and i got together to make a halifax oc thats not necessarily ‘canonical’ in the sense that we’re two angry albertans who haven’t ever been that far east, so if anyone would like to breathe some life into the design we’re happy to collaborate etc etc)

So yeah we’re not exclusive but we’re not organized either, which is why I’m hesitant to speak for everyone. I’m generally the most active so people generally come to me with questions and I can point them in the right direction, but I don’t really have any intention of making anything ~official~ looking of who’s around and who’s not because that would be a whole other boatload of work that I don’t wanna do and also I’m personally ok with interacting with whoever (so long as you don’t expect me to seriously roleplay because thats Not what I do and I’m no fun). And I mean if you’re interested in the project itself as far as I know there’s still room for more members, but idk when if ever anything is going to happen at this point.

My Personal Feels

Honestly since my ocs transcend both iamp and pc and are probably going to outlast both of them at this rate, it’s kind of weird that i haven’t gone back to tagging them as ‘aph’ rather than pc but eh i like my little spin-off-of-a-spin-off nook in the hetalia fandom. But yeah I’m not going to police the tag, aside from saying things could get Messy with duplicates both using the pc tag. So for example say you got a winnipeg oc that’s not affiliated with our lil group- thats a-ok! cool, if I like them enough i’d be willing to use them in my own stuff if i dont have a pc character for it if you’re ok with it and dont mind them interacting with this “universe”. I’d still probably tag your oc as ‘aph winnipeg’ or something if you dont have a specific tag for them. There’s not really an ‘expiry date’ on ocs or how long their creators have been away, but after about 5 years and a project reboot i tend to feel pretty Weird about using ocs when their ‘parents’ arent around to supervise, you know? but again that’s a personal hang up of mine. Another personal hang up of mine is I really am mostly interested in ocs created by people living in that place or really into researching it or who have good inside jokes because that’s the reason I really love this fandom, but hell it’s not a requirement (sweeps my multitude of alberta ocs under the rug because I haven’t been to most of them lol)

so yeah thats the long and the short of it, feel free to ask any more questions and I’ll do my best to answer. I don’t mean to brag when I say I’m probably the person to ask about these things, I just mean I’m nosy and I haunt this little corner like a plague so I’m more or less in touch with everyone in it. :) haha

[writerspink]

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10.2

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K-12 Words was originally published on PinkWrite

[homoliberation]

Just an Advertiser or a Founder?

Adding Insult to Injury: A Statement by Jearld Moldenhauer on the Founding of the University of Toronto Homophile Association (UTHA), Canada’s First Gay Student Organization

🔥 Jearld Moldenhauer.com 🔥

Introduction 

There may be few people out there seriously interested in knowing how the Toronto modern gay movement came into being. But it is a story worth being told - accurately - and, as the founder of the University of Toronto Homophile Association (UTHA), I am particularly well informed to do so. 

If a Torontonian, or any other Canadian for that matter, had been able to establish the details of a factual and politically objective history, at some point during the last 41 years since the founding of the UTHA (in 1970), there would be no need for me to write this. But alas, this has not happened. 

Large urban cities like New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Philadelphia have all had hefty tomes about their local gay history published over the past several years. For example, San Francisco has had many books and films centered on the life and death of Harvey Milk. It also has a Gay Museum. Even Buffalo has a book chronicling its lesbian history. There are now also several volumes exploring the gay history of Britain, France, Spain, Germany, Italy and Australia. I start by mentioning these efforts only to put into perspective the shortfall in documentation about the gay movement in Toronto and in Canada generally. 

This lack of any seriously researched information on the earliest post-Stonewall event in modern gay Canadian history made it necessary for the Ontario Heritage Trust (OHT) to conduct its own research into the founding of the UTHA. Amanda Robinson, a history graduate student at York University, was hired by the OHT to carry this out. However, by the time the U of T and the Ontario Heritage Trust had finally decided on a plaque as a way of commemorating the founding of the UTHA, there had already been a number of misleading pieces of journalism written that attempted to tell the same story. The latest of these appeared in the University of Toronto Alumnae Magazine in June, 2009. 

On a more positive note, Canada has at least three decent gay and lesbian archival projects of which I am aware. An example of one, online, is Rick Bébout's website, which is still the only serious attempt to capture Toronto's gay history, starting in 1970.

In addition, during the past year (2011) or so, a few university students have published research papers on some of the historical aspects of The Body Politic. 

(Personally, I have long lamented the apparent disinterest in a broad-based oral history project which recorded the lives and social dynamic of the homosexual working class, the class which seemed to dominate the Toronto scene when I first settled here.)

My Own Liberation 

The story of my own gay activism began at Cornell University in 1967. I had come out in my second year in 1965 and I spent much of 1965-67 immersed in the reading of books related to the history of sexuality. I wanted to understand why it was that society had placed such strong taboos on homosexuality, making it both a criminal act and a mental illness. The more I read, the more radicalized I became. Of course, this was during the 1960s, a time of prominent protests by the Counterculture in America, fueled in part by the United States' involvement in the Vietnam War. My generation was open to questioning most everything and this encouraged me to develop an analysis of sexual repression and oppression in Western society. 

In May of 1967, The New York Times ran a front page article headlined "Columbia Charters Homosexual Group". After reading the piece, I contacted "Stephen Donaldson" (AKA Robert Martin), the student who had founded the group. His organization, like the ones founded later at Cornell and U of T, was called "The Student Homophile Association" (or League).

During the following year, I made a few trips from Ithaca to New York City: (1) to explore the Village scene, (2) to see Martin and (3) to attend meetings of the East Coast Homophile Organization (ECHO). It was there that I first met Franklin Kameny, Barbara Gittings and Foster Gunnison, the leaders of ECHO. I admit that none of these activists really excited or inspired me as these older homophile leaders were far too conservative. Even Martin himself proved to be an army/navy "brat" whose sensibilities were quite disparate from mine. 

Nonetheless, I went back to Cornell and made the decision to form a local student gay organization. The Cornell Homophile League was officially recognized in May of 1968, more than a year before Stonewall! The Cornell story is a separate one with many tales worth telling (some of these can be found elsewhere on this blog.) However, for the purposes of this document, it is sufficient to say that I arrived at the University of Toronto with a "founding" event already under my belt. (For some reason - I suspect nationalism - almost no Canadian reference ever mentions my international activism.)

Ian Young 

I should start by admitting that I had no previous idea about exactly how Ian Young characterized me or the founding of the UTHA ... except for what can now be found on the record. Generally, I found these public comments both inaccurate and deceptive. He may just have ridden the wave of misinformation flowing from some poor journalism or perhaps he simply took advantage of the group's own weak sense of history. Once an erroneous wave of reporting is established, it is indeed relatively easy for an individual, especially a writer, to embellish some points and to diminish others for that person's benefit. 

However, this is my written record; my response to Mr. Young's quotes found on both Rick Bébout's website and in the U of T Alumnae magazine article by Anne Purdue ... and I wish to state, unequivocally, from the outset, that Ian Young had no part in the founding of the UTHA.

Furthermore, he was not at the first meetings attended by a handful of friends and the people who responded to an ad I had originally placed in the student newspaper, The Varsity, soliciting members for a new gay group on the U of T campus. Philip Atkinson, my oldest Toronto friend, attended those first meetings in "the cave", as my off-campus McCaul Street apartment was humorously referred to. He was considerate enough to respond to my written questions about those foundational gatherings and he attests to the fact that Mr. Ian Young was not in attendance. (That interview, conducted through an email exchange, is available upon request.)

Let's now proceed to examine some other assertions that can be found in a couple of Ian's quotes that appeared in Anne Purdue's article: 

"My first meeting with Moldenhauer was not at a party. I must have been given his number by a mutual acquaintance; I phoned him and he asked me to come see him at his place of work at the U of T. I remember very clearly that the first time I met Moldenhauer, he was vivisecting a dog. You don't forget something like that!” 

"We were never friends. As a long time antivivisectionist, my first encounter almost led me to have nothing to do with him, but I thought, 'well, I'm going to have to work with lots of diverse people in this cause, so I'd better get on with it.' Still don't know whether that was wise or not.”

These are outrageous statements! I was "vivisecting a dog"?!? Yes, I worked for a physiologist who used dogs in his experiments but there were very few operations ... and they took place in a surgery room into which Ian Young (or anyone not connected to the staff) would never have been invited. Yes, I would have given him my phone number(s), possibly those for my home and work. And yes, he probably did call and then visit my laboratory, but he certainly did NOT attend any surgical procedures. I assume he concocted this tale to elevate himself morally. And I note that he refers to me somewhat bluntly and disparagingly as only "Moldenhauer", not "Jearld" or "Mr. Moldenhauer". In my mind, this was Ian's attempt at a form of highhanded distancing and at expressing disdain for me, a lab technician who spent most of my days analyzing the digestive juices of Dog A, B, C and D.

He goes on to state that "We were never friends." The truth is we had been friends (of a sort) in the months before I went ahead with the founding of the UTHA. (I believe we met in one of the many Yorkville "hippy" cafés of the time or perhaps at the somewhat experimental Rochdale College). Our friendship was based on a mutual interest in both boys and gay literature. I was even invited to at least one of Young’s 'tea parties' out in Scarborough, where he lived with his parents. And as you can see in the accompanying photograph(s), Ian also sat for one of my portrait shoots. 

I also remember that, on one occasion, Ian even brought the controversial Canadian author Scott Symons and his young lover, John, to my basement apartment on McCaul Street. They had just recently returned from Mexico where they had fled following a RCMP arrest order after the publication of Scott's homoerotic novel, Place d'Armes. (Decades later, Scott would come into Glad Day Bookshop ... but only occasionally. He never bought anything and, oddly, he even appeared to be disinterested in the books. He just took up space, sitting in the office, smoking foul smelling Gitanes and asking to look at pornography.) Later, Ian introduced me to Norman Elder, another born-with-a-silver-spoon-in-hismouth Anglo Canadian homosexual. Interesting people ... even more so after Young published accounts of their lives ... but rather bizarre individuals, born with a deep sense of entitlement, something far different from my own class origins. I am unaware that either of these two personalities ever really contributed anything to their local gay community.

So much for the queers from English Canada's ruling class! 

(I only mention these episodes to counter Ian's dismissive statement about our shared history.) If I recall correctly, Ian was born in London, England but grew up under the Apartheid system in South Africa. Because of his upbringing, he possessed strong racist views by the time we met and, once these became apparent to me, it was I who ended the "friendship". (In fact, back then, my closest friend in Toronto was a black American draft dodger from Ohio, named John Mitchell. I once witnessed Ian and John getting into a dangerous physical fight in my McCaul Street apartment, after Ian had started spouting his views defending segregation for privately-owned businesses, such as restaurants.)

Of course, I had discussed the Cornell gay group with Ian and told him about my plans to start a similar organization at U of T. He actually spoke with me about trying to link this as-yet-to-be-founded gay group with the Don Andrews/Edmund Burke/Western Guard crowd to which he was connected. This, combined with the altercation he had had with John, made me want to distance myself (and keep any gay projects I had in mind) from Ian Young. Imagine if the first Canadian gay group of the post-Stonewall period had been exposed as having Right Wing or racist ideological connections ?! I was schooled by the analysis of Herbert Marcuse and Norman O. Brown. Unsurprisingly, Ian Young was an ardent follower of Ayn Rand and her 'cult' of selfishness and greed. (She was the heroine to so many in this shallow culture.) Again: despite our mutual aesthetic and cultural interests, once I realized where Ian was coming from, the relationship ended.

There are other Ian Young comments in Ms. Purdue's article that are calculated to further pull an obscuring scrim over reality: "I wanted to change things" he says, reflecting on his student days at U of T". Funny, I do not recall him ever joining any activist gay political organizations in Toronto during the early 1970s. (He did not even bother going to an important gay rights demo in Ottawa.) Ian was interested in Ian ... and in advancing his career as a writer. And this did not include involvement in political activism or any civil rights organizations.

So what exactly were his "student days" at U of T ? When we met, he had no official standing at the university and, in fact (according to Ian), he had dropped out of the Undergraduate Program the year before. Indeed, if Ian Young had had some legitimate affiliation with the University, I would have reluctantly involved him from the beginning. To my knowledge, Ian never returned to U of T in any capacity, except to attend UTHA meetings once I had submitted an amended "Statement of Purpose" to the Students' Administrative Council/SAC (derived from the Cornell document ... which, in turn, had been influenced by the one at Columbia University). We were then granted official status as a student organization, thereby allowing us to list our meeting time and to place announcements in The Varsity newspaper. However, from his first attendance at a meeting, and throughout our shared history with the UTHA, Young never stopped trying to attack and undermine my position within the organization. Sadly, Charlie Hill (see below) always just sat there, passively letting Ian spew his negativity towards me ... again and again.

Young also said that he wanted to be a teacher "but, in those days, you couldn't be openly gay and teach at any level". This was probably true at stuffy old U of T or in the secondary school system. I admit that this posed and still poses a major challenge. Nevertheless, I remember that, at Cornell, the most popular professor on campus was about as "openly gay" as could be. His lectures were a "camp" highlight ... and he could always be found cruising the student bars at night. [Unfortunately, he was also a very self-oppressed man and taught a course in "deviance" using Irving Bieber's - no relation to the Pop Star! - classic text on homosexuality as a mental illness and homosexuals as mentally sick ("Homosexuality: A Psychoanalytic Study of Male Homosexuality"). Indeed, pressuring him to stop using that book was the one political action undertaken by the Cornell Homophile League when I was at the helm.]

To conclude my remarks about Ian, I wish to add that I do not think he maintained many of the political ideas that defined his arched personality/identity back in the early 1970s. There have been indications that he has since shed at least some of his Right Wing and racist views. 

It is also true that, back in 1970, my seeing his (then vast) gay library was something of an inspiration for me, both in finding my role as a gay bookseller and as a serious book collector. And, as that bookseller, I always respected his published efforts and treated his books in the same even-handed way that I did all the titles I promoted and sold during my career. But, as far as the University of Toronto Homophile Association goes: he was a joiner, never a founder.

Charlie Hill 

Charlie Hill and I met a few days after The Varsity ad was published. It had been a simple ad; my way of reaching out to a student body I barely knew. It asked those "interested in discussing the establishment of a student homophile association" to contact me. I provided my home phone number and, when a few people did call, they were invited to my apartment to discuss launching the group.

Charlie and I had spoken in the notorious UC washroom after an "encounter". The UC washroom was probably the most famous place in all of Toronto for a "quickie" (to say the least). It was almost always busy: not a day went by when it didn't see some sex action from students, Faculty, Staff, Queen's Park employees and "townies". I even met George Hislop there as well as a few well known people from the "Arts Community". If there ever was a cauldron for this nascent local gay movement, it may well have been that famous loo.

Unlike other similar underground venues, however, people actually carried on conversations from time to time ... so it served a social function at a time when there were few places - outside of a limited bar and dance club scene - where queers met and talked. And that is exactly what happened between Charlie and myself. He simply asked me if I knew who had placed The Varsity ad. When I told him that I had, we ended up further discussing his student status and I invited him to come to the meetings held in "the cave". Because I saw myself as an organizer/founding force and because I was neither a student nor a 'power broker', Charlie seemed to be a good choice to act as Chairperson for the UTHA.

Once word got out about the University's recognition of our new group, The Globe & Mail published a letter whose author stated that it was a mistake for SAC to have recognized it. As the group's founder, I wrote a reply. Anne Purdue's article quotes from my letter: "If the homophile represents a challenge to society, it is only that he promotes an increased freedom of expression between human beings." This was pretty basic stuff, reflecting my larger worldview. However, my boss at U of T, Dr. Roy Preshaw, then called me into his office to inform me that the old gentleman who was the Chairman of the Physiology Dept. had seen the letter and had asked Dr. Preshaw to dismiss me ... which he did.

At the time, I neither asked for, nor received, any overt support from Charlie or the group. It was a fledgling organization still learning to find its way and, internally, the waters were already murky thanks to Ian Young's obsession over my leadership. And so I paid the high price for taking the initiative in founding and then defending the UTHA ... but, with this turn of events, I was left alone - 'high and dry' - to deal with the results. 

[I recently tried to get answers to a few questions that I had for Charlie, to feel out his position and memory of these events. I wrote him, hoping for his support but, ultimately, I got the sense that nothing had changed about Charlie's wishy-washy ways. He wrote back once and I could see that he was waffling, claiming an uncertain memory. My follow-up e-mails to him then bounced back and I can only assume that they were being blocked ... Well, at least he is consistent.]

Forgive me if I admit that, after reviewing Charlie's comments in Anne Purdue's article, I felt that some of them were embarrassingly shallow. When she asked "the Curator for the National Gallery and a member of the Order of Canada how he mustered the courage to be the leader of the Homophile Association", he replied: 'Anger and irritation.' " OK. I know all about anger, but I still don't understand what he meant when he said that he had been irritated. (I get irritated waiting for the TTC, or for any number of reasons ... such as having to constantly defend my role as "founder".) He goes on to speak about "coming out" and "being out" and says: "We were an invisible minority and, as long as we were invisible, people could make up their own theories about us." Well, hurrah to all that!

So: Three talented people, all successful in their own right. Charlie Hill ... the author of a well reviewed book "The Group of Seven: Art for a Nation", published in 1995. In 2001, he received The Order of Canada for his book and for his long career as a curator at the National Gallery. Ian Young ... the author of some 10+ books. And Jearld Moldenhauer ... in his youth, a firebrand who established many gay organizations and institutions internationally.

The Researcher, Her Conclusions and Freedom of Information 

I first heard about the "Plaque Project" in an e-mail on March 18th, 2011 from David Rayside, who immediately assumed that the news would "make me smile". (Rayside was formerly the Director of the Bonham School for Sexual Diversity Studies at U of T). He quickly sent a second e-mail to inform me that similar messages had been sent out to Charlie and Ian. Yet another e-mail followed and I started to see the writing on the wall. He referred to me as someone who had "placed that first ad" and I began to sense that the University's version of the historical record was about to reduce me to an "advertiser" for the group rather than its founder.

Even before Ms. Robinson began her research on the project, I sensed in what direction things would be heading and I wrote to tell her: "I truly would rather be left out, denounced or simply ignored rather than be framed within a dishonest rendering of historical fact." (OK. I am not known for mincing my words. Needless to say, many have recoiled at my bluntness.)

On September 27th, David forwarded the Ontario Heritage Trust's Invitation. I wrote back asking about the wording on the plaque and was informed that the "plaque's text is not being revealed to anyone prior to the actual event." I reminded David that, a few months earlier, I had written a polite inquiry to Ms. Robinson about the conclusions of her research and she had responded in an ambiguous way. That had sent another signal that something was afoot. David responded that he had "considerable faith in the preparatory process used by the OHT." Writing him back, I declared my own lack of faith in the "system" ... and I think with good cause as there could be no healthy reason to withhold the wording from me except to prevent a response. (It was not as if there was some sort of national security threat here.) In his next e-mail, David ended the communication rather haughtily by stating "I see no particular advantage in continuing this exchange."

How I Received the Press Release and the Plaque's Wording.

On Oct. 14th, a friend sent me the Press Release about the Plaque's unveiling. No one officially associated with either the OHT or the SDS sent this public announcement to me. A few days later, on October 19th, another friend sent me the precise wording of the actual plaque. So much for courtesy and officialdom! So there it was: my name as "advertiser" in the Press Release but no specific recognition on the plaque itself (in fact, no names appeared).

All of this felt like déjà vu, reminding me of an award the old Gay Academic Union had presented, some decades ago, to "Glad Day Bookshop", instead of to the person who effectively was Glad Day Bookshop: me. The human being behind the organization seemed to matter less than the name of the organization proper. (Why not be as impersonal as we can!?) Obviously the people who make such decisions have no idea how this makes the person - the legitimate founder - feel ... the person who did the hard work and paid whatever price for these groundbreaking initiatives. Or maybe they do it intentionally ... as a way of negating the individual. Somebody should ask them.

During my communications with Ms. Robinson, I took what I considered a straight forward factual path. I assumed that, as with any researcher who was up to the task, once any facts were disputed, she would investigate further and, in this case, I would hear back from her. (How else can a person doing historical research proceed otherwise, assuming they ARE 'up to the task'?) When, after several months, I had heard nothing whatsoever, it became obvious that either the wool had been pulled over her eyes ... or it had been decided that the "safest" path to proceed on would be to leave all names off the plaque, even if this diminished the role of the legitimate founder.

Founder or Advertiser? 

The title of "Founder" has a basic enough definition in the Oxford dictionary: "A person who establishes an institution or settlement." So it's the idea and implementing of that idea that makes one a founder. In psychological terms, founders have special qualities that followers do not have. They have the guts to take on the world and to try and change it. This requires not only unusual courage but also a heavy component of naïveté, something you often find in youth. Take me away from the UTHA, (or Cornell SH, or Glad Day Toronto and Glad Day Boston, or even from The Body Politic and the CLGA) and what do you have? I believe that it is obvious that founding the basic institutions of the gay movement was my special talent, my contribution to the evolution of the culture. Why then, I wonder, have I had such a hard time getting the simple credit that is due?

[As a small additional note to this "founding" issue, I refer people to a website from Thunder Bay, Ontario call "Ebb and Flow - The Seventies." 1974 

“Lakehead Gay Liberation (LGL) was formed in Thunder Bay at Lakehead University, sparked by a visit by Jearld Moldenhauer (of Glad Day Bookshop fame). LGL was recognized as an official club by the Lakehead University Student Union (LUSU). In February, a live interview aired on CBQ radio. The group was short lived as most members left for Toronto that summer, and attempts to revive it in the fall were unsuccessful.”

This specific visit had happened on a National Tour sponsored by GATE Vancouver and GATE Toronto. I had been sent by train west from Toronto to rally the troops in any and every city I was invited to, in order to forge a national front for the "Movement". Yes, this particular group, LGL, was apparently short lived but it marked the beginning of gay political awareness for the Thunder Bay community and they were kind enough - and upfront enough - to remember this history. Their historical memory and honesty does not go unappreciated.]

So what was gained by mentioning my name in the Press Release but excluding it from the plaque? The avoidance of controversy? The conclusion - or at least the one I feel they reached - was that it was better to deny the person the honest credit he deserved rather than to pass judgment on the other (misleading) accounts of what had happened.

As I said in Anne Purdue's article: "Somehow I don't expect to receive an apology 40 years later." First off, they would have to acknowledge the true reason for my dismissal. Apparently no one wants to do that. After all, these days, is any Canadian university anywhere willing to admit that it fired, without cause (other than homophobia), the founder of a gay group ? I somehow doubt it. Yes, U of T may not be what it was back in the early 1970s ... but that's all the more reason for finishing this chapter honorably.

During the 1970s and up until the mid-1980s, there seemed to be no question about who had been the actual founder of the UTHA. Sometime during the 1980s, I was even invited to give a talk about the gay history at U of T (as I remembered it). In 2005, the group - now called LGTBTOUT (what a mouthful!) - had a major 35th Anniversary Party at the ROM. I had, of course, heard about this but had NOT been invited. Closer to the event, I became aware that Ian Young was being touted as the founder of the group. About two days before the celebration, someone from the organization finally contacted me and invited me to attend. (Feeling insulted, I did not do so.)

That was the beginning of this serious distortion of UTHA history ... later reinforced and amplified by the Alumni magazine article. None of this really surprises me when you consider that members of the Executive Committee of the current group do not even use their last names on the LGTBTOUT website. When I asked about this some years ago, I was told that it was a "tradition". If so, it's a sad one. Apparently, whatever we gained from 'Gay Liberation' and the central role of being "out" have been diminished for some time now. If this phenomena is widespread - and not just present at one of Canada's major universities - perhaps it partially explains the increase in gay-related bullying and in the continued high suicide rates of gay teens. One has to ask where the leadership is from people at such a major university when they so fear for their careers as to opt out and become the anonymously named Jane D. or John Q. ?

Egomaniac or Deserving Activist ? 

I have become so very tired of being put on the defensive about my role in the gay movement in Canada. This has, no doubt, something to do with why I no longer live there. People should ponder the fact that some of us early activists paid a price for the public positions we took. In my case, the price was a rather heavy one although one I took in stride. 

(Not only did U of T dismiss me but, a year later, the Toronto Western Hospital did the same after I brought Issue One of The Body Politic to work. The next year, I got a job working for the City of Toronto as a gardener. Once I was established and past my probationary period, I gradually came out, once again, by bringing gay newspapers to work to read during break times. Despite my good standing, I was not only fired but was sent to work in isolation for 2-3 weeks at the Woodbine Beaches before they officially terminated me.)

After this introduction to the real world, I decided to build Glad Day into a real bookstore ... instead of operating at half throttle from my home. It was the silver lining in a cloud of some despair. Eventually, I developed myself into a professional bookseller with an encyclopedic knowledge of most every title and author who ever addressed homosexual topics. That career lasted from 1970 - with the inception of Glad Day out of a backpack - to the year 2000, when I closed the successful Glad Day Boston.

However, little did I realize that, within a few years of starting the Yonge Street store, Canada Customs would begin seizing and censoring gay and lesbian literature. What started as an "irritating" occasional event grew into an all-out assault by 1985, with Mulroney's internal Memorandum D-9-1-1. People know something about the court battles (such as the one over "The Joy of Gay Sex") but I doubt that they have any idea about what this "war" costs, not only in legal fees but also in its psychological impact on someone just trying to do his job as best as he can. Until 1991 - when I finally wearied of these "Customs" battles - it was a daily fight for survival as all the power of the State was unleashed upon a tiny business in an attempt to destroy it.

Glad Day Toronto is now the world’s oldest surviving bookshop, specializing in gay and lesbian literature. In its time, it hosted readings and book signings by most of world’s greatest living gay and lesbian writers including Christopher Isherwood, William Burroughs, Edmund White, Michel Tremblay and Jeanette Winterson.

As far as my ego goes, I think it's both pretty humble and low key. My class origins are lower middle class, something that helped me break through the barriers middle class and upper class individuals often find impossible to transcend. In sheer biological terms (my area of study), I saw myself as a sort of "sport", a hybrid with the right combination of genes, class and education to push my society a tiny bit forward.

I can remember when I was just 14 years old and my grandmother gave me - at my request - the Collected Essays of Ralph Waldo Emerson ... Thoreau's "Walden Pond" also arrived in my hands soon thereafter. So, at a very young age, I was schooled in the principle of selfdetermination, with a belief in one's own intuitive grasp of reality. Given the battles that I have had to fight against an array of opponents, I feel these imbedded ideals have served me well. 

Jearld Moldenhauer  Fez, Morocco October 30, 2011

The above text is in the process of being published as part of a larger autobiographical account. All photos by Jearld Moldenhauer are copyrighted.

🔥 Jearld Moldenhauer.com 🔥

[ramrodd]

Full Interview: Preacher Kenneth Copeland Defends Lavish Lifestyle

COMMENTARY:

Principalities and powers are what is driving the suicide rate among combat veterans, teenagers and celebrities. It’s very real. You can see them at work in the face of Kenneth Copeland and Pat Robertson and, probably, Franklin Graham. It wasn’t in Billy Graham’s countenance but his existentially unanchored fundamentalism spawned several generations of Evangelical goblins like these guys and most of the people laying on of hands on Duck Ass Don in the Oval Office.

Revelation is a very high literature portrait of the events that were set into motion by the crucifixtion of Jesus in the spiritual realm. The One, as described in Revelation 4:2, communicates to us as individuals through emotions and visual symbolism that occurs in dreams and before The Word.

Visualize Whirled Peas. This is a little trick that the Holy Ghost as assigned me to introduce to the internet community as a reliable method for becoming aware of the personal Holy Ghost. This was on a bumber sticker and we both thought it was funny for the same reason, then he said if everyone that tuned in to TYT was to say it out loud, in their minds : “Visualize Whirled Peas” every time they see an active weather map, he, the Holy Spirit, would begin to have the data he needs to bring the Spirit of the Lord unto the bit and optimize global weather patterns and restoring the global climate to about 1955, which was the beginning of the modern cycle as I understand it.

The whole point is that it’s silly. If you read the Book of Acts as a play ground for the Holy Spirit, the possibilities that the liberation gospel of Jesus makes possible in your mind like popcorn in a microwave.

Here’s the thing: Steve Bannon is the front man for an evil cabal in the GOP Deep State I first ran into in 1981 with Donald T. Regan and Charles Z. Wick. Just recently, I have come to realized there was probably a third member of this coven from Miami or Texas but that axis is very murky: there’s a lot of them, but Regan brought a criminal element from Wall Street and Wick was at the nexus of the Hollywood country club set that profited the most from the Japanese interments and the Black lists of the McCarthy era. These people were all committed to the agenda of the Powell Manifesto and have spawned the current subversive political movement associated with the MAGA hats and Steve Bannon.

Newt Gingrich is the primary source of the toxic spiritual pollution that sustains the prinicpalities and powers Kenneth Copeland represents. Gingrich’s political organizational dynamics are based on the Trotsky Insurgency Processes the SDS employed in their anti-war movement arising from the Port Huron Statement. Gingrich brags about using this technology but, as an Army brat, I am sure he knew exactly what he was doing: I grew up in the Army at the same time and Counter-Insurgence was the sexy career path in the Army, particularly after JFK authorized the Green Berets for the Green Berets. The Trotsky Insurgency Process is designed to generate the social alienation and political polarization in a host culture leading to constitutional de-stablization and violent revolution. One symptom of this process in motion is a rising suicide rate from the alienation that is a fertile incubator for the goblins, useful idiots, fellow travelers and other flesh-and-blood servants of the Principalities and Powers Kenneth Copeland claims to be  wrestling with.

The best example in the Bible of the Principalities and Powers at work in the Gospels is the impulse of Judas Iscariot to betray Jesus. This was a totally spur of the moment thing that Judas succumbed to like   writing an angry resignation letter that is better left in a drawer, but Judas mailed it. Everybody around Jesus, except Mary Magdalene and Mary, sister of Martha, saw Jesus as a means to their particular end and Judas merely acted on his aspirations. What they discovered, of course, was that they were all a means to His ends, but that’s another story,

However, in terms of Principalities and Powers at work, this guy in Virginia Beach is an example of how they work. The Dismal Swamp is a powerful spiritual node, like the Three Sisters and Point of Rocks in Virginia, and Pat Roberson’s ministry lies nigh unto that power source. Pat Roberson’s direct mail operation has been an important money laundering operation on the East Coast for 30 or 40 years and his 700 Club broadcasts are an important contributor to the toxic spiritual pollution Gingrich supervises. In the last couple of weeks with the celebration of the MAGA hat crowd over the anti-abortion legislation in the various states and the danger to Roe v  Wade, the intensity of this generation has increased 10 fold and further amplified by the sympathetic emotional spike from Duck Ass Don’s tweet storm over Mueller’s press conference, this guy had a Judas Iscariot moment and gunned down his fellow workers because they were home when he came to slake his lust for blood,

The first time I saw this sort of thing happen was in the late ‘90s, during impeachment, when the Pro-Life Evangelical Christian Radio stations broadcast a season devoted to Revelation and there was a series of school yard shootings leading up to Columbine. Currently, there has been a focus on David, a Man After God’s Own Heart and there is a subdued expression that contributes to Donald Duck Ass need for agitation  . And there have been a number of similar neighborhood shootings in and around DC similar in character to this Virginia Beach Shooting.

And I can trace it all back to Newt Gingrich and the  very Prinicipalities and Powers that animates Kenneth Copeland’s visage in this confrontation. This is what the combination of National Socialism and Romans 13 produced in Germany after 1933 and here it is, like and in living color, right here in the good old US of A.  

Good work, TYT. This is why we have a 1st Amendment.

Visualize Whirled Peas.

[dstrachan]

'VIEWS FROM THE HEDGE': MAJOR LIFE CHANGES - CROSSROADS

One of my regular shows on community radio was 'Views From The Edge', so named because I aimed to include my take on things from my home base in the south east of Scotland near the North Sea coast and border with England (the 'edge').  The wonderful Hastings band Fabulous Red Diesel were kind enough to spend some time recording a number of IDs for me, one of which they adapted as 'Views From The Hedge' complete with sheep sounds!  I will always be incredibly grateful to them for their support, sadly I find that I am currently unable to locate that specific ID as I believe that it was stored on an external hard drive which became damaged when it fell off my desk! Nevertheless I felt that it was a suitable title for this post, as I seek to establish just what I should be doing with the part of my life that had previously been devoted to music and community radio since my retirement from Scottish education.  Recently I feel as if I have been fenced (or hedged) in and am now looking out to identify a destination.  Queue a series of 'ramblings'! 

AND THE SURVEY SAYS - “WE LOVE THE OLD FAVOURITES”

As I've previously noted in a couple of recent posts, a few months ago a major change in my family circumstances led me to decide to step back from radio and review activities as I could no longer spare sufficient time to undertake these activities to a level that I would be happy with.  Although completely unrelated to my decision to withdraw from my live community radio shows, the station that was hosting my live shows then published the results of a listener survey around the same time.  The survey results were predominantly positive and very encouraging for the station with respondents voicing their love for all the shows that featured old familiar favourites – the one clear point of dissatisfaction was my focus on featuring new and unsigned artists.  At the same time some listeners had also posted comments on the station's Facebook page expressing their dislike of the new music that I had been playing. Thankfully my initial sense of failure was tempered as I had been regularly receiving messages of support from a range of people around the world, in particular from Mexico!  I have to say that I was further heartened to see others add comments in support of my selections – in general, as well as supporting my choices, they pointed out that all the familiar favourites would at one time in the past have also been 'new', untested and unfamiliar – they went on to ask what the outcome have been had nobody back then been prepared to go out on a limb and give people the opportunity to hear new songs?  Whilst I had always intended to help bring new music to my audience's ears rather than simply just play the safe and popular hits, the negativity nevertheless did sting a little.  Luckily I am rather stubborn and didn't feel that I could let such apparently blinkered negativity change my underpinning philosophy.

'BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY'

I do not claim to be right at all times with my selections and preferences, not everybody likes such a wide range of styles and sometimes I clearly make wrong calls.  I vividly recall the day when working in Bruce's Record Shop in Edinburgh's Rose Street and we received our first delivery of Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' single. Back in these days it was virtually unheard of to hear any single prior to its release so that Monday morning was the first opportunity that any of us in the shop had had to hear it.  After a couple of spins the general opinion, mine included, was bemusement = “who on earth is going to want to listen to that weird song about somebody having a bad trip?!”  This was before we ever had the opportunity to see the classic video! Nowadays I imagine any tweet comment might also include #WTF – well time has certainly proved us wrong on that initial call as 'Bohemian Rhapsody' has subsequently become embedded in the fabric of rock history as an absolute classic!  Over the years some brave souls have even taken a chance on recording a cover!!

IS COMMUNITY RADIO WORTH THE EFFORT?

I do strongly believe that there are so many solo artists and bands out there now who are producing exciting, innovative and inspirational music and who really do deserve to be given a fair hearing.  It is them that I wished to give exposure to in my radio shows, and seek to support by posting my reviews.  Given the amount of money and resources that are required to keep a community radio on air, surely it should not just be a medium to allow people to listen to a constant stream of familiar and popular hits – if that were the case listeners could just as easily tune in to a streaming service where they can specify preferred playlists?  That would eliminate so many of the administrative headaches that come with trying to keep a community radio station on air: no need to find the finances to pay for all the necessary hardware, premises, licences and utilities.

“DEFINITELY NOT MAINSTREAM”

I do confess that my listening preferences could never really have been classified as mainstream.  The first album that I ever bought had to be specially ordered for me by the record department in Stirling's Graham & Morton Department Store (O.K. I admit the photo in the link was a bit before my time!): it was released on John Peel's Dandelion label by the English performance art collective made up of about 14 musicians, poets, dancers, and sound and lighting technicians.  They were Principal Edwards Magic Theatre and the album was 'Soundtrack', which I still regularly revisit.  John Peel's wondrous radio shows were also a regular listen, where, from my earliest encounters, I was enchanted by unique audio gems such as Captain Beefheart's 'Trout Mask Replica', 'An Evening With “Wild Man Fischer” ', the GTOs and Ravi Shankar (I can vividly recall listening on my transistor radio whilst walking home one day in Bridge of Allan.  Such great memories, and no doubt an inspiration for my community radio work. 

GOOD OL' ROCK 'N' ROLL

I was intrigued recently by an item in a BBC Radio 4 'You & Yours' programme on Friday 5th January 2015.  It considered the thriving industry around the popularity of rock 'n' roll and how it's gaining new fans.  One contributor, Karinna Nobbs stated that “in the current economic climate people look backwards and are much more nostalgic about simpler times and the birth of rock 'n' roll told you something about what was going on – it was the birth of the teenager – there was a lot of hope and a lot of excitement for the future.”

Whilst I listened intently I found myself thinking about soma: the fictional hallucinogenic drug to keep society peaceful and happy in Aldous Huxley's novels 'Brave New World' and 'Island', and that perhaps this nostalgic 'comfort blanket' description would also help to explain the popularity of the range of 'tribute' and 'heritage' acts that appear to draw more crowds than fresh new talent in many local venues. Certainly in the Scottish Borders such acts appear to outnumber the less mainstream alternative options.

“CLASSIC ROCK ETC.”

I have already mentioned the first album that I purchased; I do have earlier memories but not really from the very earliest days of rock 'n' roll – although I have a few memories from the early 1960s, the late 1960s and early 1970s would probably provide the basis for my most enduring memories and I am forever grateful that I was around then to be able to hear so many eventual classics when they were taking their first steps (sadly NOT as a member of the audience at the actual live performances!): Jefferson Airplane, The Doors, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Cream, Eagles, Steely Dan, John Martyn and Jimi Hendrix to name a very few.  I feel that I have to add that the more enduring bands generally tended to lose their immediate appeal for me after their first handful of albums.  I suspect that was partly due to the overexposure that I experienced during my years working in the record shop, but possibly also as a result of a certain amount of predictability setting in. 

“I JUST MISSED THE PUNK REVOLUTION!”

Writing now, I firmly believe that the music that has had the most enduring impact of me is what came to classified as punk – although at the time I was never aware of it being referred to as such.  Bands/albums that I became more and more drawn towards in my youth include:

The Velvet Underground & Nico 1967; Captain Beefheart & the Magic Band 'Trout Mask Replica' 1969 / 'Clear Spot' 1972; MC5 'Kick Out The Jams' 1969; The Stooges 'Fun House' 1970 / 'Raw Power' 1973; New York Dolls 1973; Dr Feelgood 'Down At The Jetty' 1975; The Ramones 1976; The Tubes 'Young & Rich' 1976  ('White Punks On Dope'); Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers 'L.A.M.F.' 1977.

Cue 'real life' getting in the way!  In the autumn of 1976 my life changed significantly in a number of ways; I transitioned from being a student to starting my teaching career and also met and settled down with my wife as we welcomed two wonderful children into our world.  I wouldn't change any of that but the various demands placed on me at that time did mean that my previous focus on music, as a single entity, had to take a back seat.  I do occasionally wonder how things might have turned out had I been born a couple of years later and to have spent my teenage years in the punk era as opposed to the more hippie oriented one that I seemed to get caught up in.  

There are clear signs of an embryonic punk rock development in the late 1960s but the first wave of punk rock really took hold a bit later. It was aggressively modern, and distanced itself from the bombast and sentimentality of early 1970s rock. According to Ramones drummer Tommy Ramone, "In its initial form, a lot of '1960s' stuff was innovative and exciting.  Unfortunately, what happened was that people who could not hold a candle to the likes of Hendrix started noodling away.  Soon you had endless solos that went nowhere.  By 1973, I knew that what was needed was some pure, stripped down, no bullshit rock 'n' roll." John Holmstrom, founding editor of Punk magazine, recalls feeling "punk rock had to come along because the rock scene had become so tame that acts like Billy Joel and Simon and Garfunkel were being called rock and roll, when to me and other fans, rock and roll meant this wild and rebellious music." In critic Robert Christgau's description, "It was also a subculture that scornfully rejected the political idealism and Californian flower-power silliness of hippie myth."

“D.I.Y.”

Technical accessibility and a 'Do it Yourself' (DIY) spirit are prized in punk rock and I truly believe that it is this which continues to draw me towards the numerous exciting and inspirational acts that I tend to wish to follow now (really TOO MANY to mention, but I will continue to seek to give them some well deserved publicity); technological developments have made it easier for artists to retain greater control over their creative output. One extremely important 'tool' is the advent of crowdfunding which enables artists and bands to generate a funding source to enable them to complete a specific project; record an album, shoot a video, fund a tour etc. by making it possible for interested supporters to provide financial support whilst also being kept informed about progress and receiving specified benefits.  I feel privileged to have been able to have assisted a number of projects to move forward.   A 'D.I.Y.' attitude is also a crucial aspect for the success of voluntary community radio too.

GIGGING IN THE 21st CENTURY

UK pub rock from 1972-1975 contributed to the emergence of punk rock by developing a network of small venues, such as pubs, where non-mainstream bands could play, and this is the area that most interests me now although I can only physically get to a fraction of the gigs that are being organised.  Thankfully social media makes it easy for acts and promoters to share live videos to help share the experience.  I'll take this opportunity to share one very special video from a great gig in Glasgow = Healthy Junkies first performance in Scotland and an excellent example of the marvellous mutually supportive community that they represent!   Going back to my youth it was clearly the case that musicians  made money from unit recording sales, generally touring at a loss in order to promote their latest release.  Things seem to have reversed now and the recordings for most generate a minimal income and it is the touring and merchandise sales that provide the opportunity to get some form of financial return.  This makes it all the more essential that I, and others, can encourage people to get people up from their seats and out to support the numerous live performance opportunities that surround them.  I encourage people to be adventurous and give the unknowns a fair hearing, their performances will generally not be unaffordable, generally equivalent to a couple of pints in city centre venue.  Another thing; in my experience, these musicians are generally self-funding their tours so please do not seek to rip them off by trying to 'guilt trip' them into adding you to their guest lists!  A different story perhaps if the ticket price is over say £60.  

I believe that I have listened intently to so many different styles of music over the decades that little now strikes me as being entirely new and innovative; I routinely find echoes being sparked in my head that get me thinking bank to when I previously heard a particular phrase, riff or sound – whilst this often encourages me to revisit the sources of these evocations, I certainly don't seek to suggest that the new purveyors of these sounds are simply 'rip-off' artists and that the earlier versions must be venerated as the best. Instead, I celebrate the fact that yet more musicians have been able to experience the magic of producing output that blends, recycles and re-invigorates such timeless audio gems.

Yes – I will continue to re-visit older items in my extensive music collection, but I firmly believe that it will be the exciting new young acts that will continue to attract my full attention.  Whatever my eventual decision regarding radio & review activities, I am determined that it will have a strong focus on new and emerging unsigned talent from around the world with out any particular genre restrictions.

CONCLUSION

As I sought to conclude this piece I continued to remain unsure about just how to move forwards; a number of things took precedence over and prevented me finishing it promptly.  Consequently I will delay any return to radio and stick to written reviews for the short term. Many thanks to those who have submitted material recently, this has been a great impetus to encourage me.  Finally, if you have read as far as this, many thanks.  Whilst pieces like this are possibly more an exercise in self-assessment to help me make decisions I truly appreciate all who do take time out from their lives to consider my musings.

[robertmcangusgroup]

The Daily Thistle

The Daily Thistle – News From Scotland

Friday 9th June 2017

"Madainn Mhath” …Fellow Scot, I hope the day brings joy to you…. The high temperatures of the past week fell a little last night so it wasn’t quite as hot for us, and this morning is perfect, not a cloud in the sky, that I can see, and the temperature is a mild 18c .. I’m not complaining, just pointing out the weather to those of you that are interested, and love to see your weather in the comments to compare notes so to speak…

SINGING POLICEMAN RAISES AWARENESS FOR ALZHEIMER SCOTLAND…. A SINGING policeman has touched thousands of people with his phenomenal voice after his arresting rendition of a musical classic was shared online. PC Craig Marshall surprised a crowd with his sensational range when he attended an event hosted by a dementia charity. And more than 20,000 people have now watched the cop belting out ‘Bring Him Home’ from Les Miserables. The song had previously been performed by Australian actor Hugh Jackman in the 2012 film based on the hit musical. Charity bosses uploaded a recording of his performance at the Howard Centre in Kilmarnock, Ayrshire, to Facebook, with users praising the PC’s talent. Lynne Thomson wrote: “Who would have known - what a voice. I always knew you had a hidden talent.❤” Laura Hunter added: “So good, he’s in the wrong job! xxx” And Debbie Cox said: “Excellent Craig. Sleepless nights obviously don’t affect your lovely voice. X” The performance was part of an event called “The M Factor” during an Alzheimer Scotland Musical Minds session as part of dementia awareness week, which runs from May 29 to June 4. A spokeswoman from Alzheimer Scotland said: “We were thrilled to see PC Marshall attend the event to mark Dementia Awareness Week in Ayrshire.“He has a fantastic voice and we are sure he has inspired many on the day and will continue to do so with his great talent.

TAYMOUTH VILLAGE HOLIDAY PARK FIRM BUILDS MORE LODGES….  The operator of a major Perthshire holiday park has pushed the button on a new £6 million residential development, citing a post-Brexit vote property boom. Kenmore-based Mains of Taymouth Country Estate & Golf Course, which runs the Taymouth village holiday park and a portfolio of investment properties, said Balloch Park was situated to the east of the existing 160-acre country estate. The firm plans to market the 38, two- and three-bedroom lodge homes to both the domestic and holiday market. It is touting the riverside setting as being within an hour-and-a-half’s drive time of both Edinburgh and Glasgow. Mains of Taymouth has been working with local Highland Perthshire builder and developer Blairish Restorations, which has created many of the lettings properties on the estate. Robin Menzies, Mains of Taymouth Country Estate & Golf Course managing director, said: “We have always believed that the estate had the potential to offer residential living, as we have created what is now a proven location that people want to buy into, it’s a real community. Never has this been more true than in this post Brexit time we find ourselves in, which is having a hugely positive effect on our investment lettings portfolio. “Buyers are looking to put their money into property once again, and the market is most definitely there for downsizers and those approaching retirement to buy a permanent home.”

SSPCA CARING FOR ORPHANED FAWN AFTER MOTHER KILLED…. The Scottish SPCA is caring for a young orphaned deer fawn. Scotland’s animal welfare charity was alerted on 26 May after the fawn’s mother was killed in a road accident in Aberdeen. The fawn is now being rehabilitated at the charity’s National Wildlife Rescue Centre in Fishcross, where she has been named Martini. Centre manager Colin Seddon said: “We are caring for five fawns at the moment, all of which are about one to two weeks old. “Like all fawns orphaned at such a young age, Martini and the others need a lot of one to one attention as they are still being bottle fed. “Once they are able to self-feed we’ll take a more hands-off approach until they’re ready to be returned to their natural habitat. “We’ll choose a carefully selected site where the fawns will be able to integrate with an existing group of roe deer.” The Scottish SPCA is warning members of the public not to approach baby deer unless there is a welfare concern, as there clearly was in Martini’s case. Colin added: “Fawns are left alone from a very early age as their mothers go off foraging. They are left curled up under bushes or in long grasses to keep hidden from potential predators but are often disturbed by dogs and humans. “Our advice is to leave the fawn alone, unless showing signs of distress and calling out, and return in 24 hours as the mother will likely have moved it. If it has not been moved at this stage but is still not calling or showing any signs of distress, the mother has probably come back and fed it. “To be sure a fawn has been abandoned it must be observed from a distance for at least 12 hours. A fawn that has been truly abandoned will get up from its hiding place and start calling for its mother.

HIGHLANDS AND ISLANDS AIR BATTLE LAUNCHED…. Flybe and Eastern Airways announced they would compete with Loganair on five Highlands and Islands air routes. The dramatic move follows the breakdown of a partnership between Flybe and Loganair, which ends in August. Loganair said it was "extremely disappointed" but it was "up for the fight". Eastern will operate flights for Flybe between Sumburgh in Shetland and Edinburgh, Glasgow and Aberdeen, between Stornoway in Lewis and Glasgow, and between Kirkwall in Orkney and Aberdeen, from September. Flybe pledged shorter journeys using faster aircraft on the routes, which are among the busiest it currently operates with Loganair. It said one-way fares would start at £49.46. The move follows Flybe announcing last November it had "terminated" the franchise deal with Loganair, which has operated since 2008. Aviation consultant John Strickland told The Scotsman: "This brings a whole new level of competition to a number of important Scottish domestic routes.

GRAND PRIX OF THE SEA TO RETURN TO GREENOCK…. FERRY operator Caledonian MacBrayne has committed to supporting the Scottish Grand Prix of the Sea when the free, two-day event returns to Greenock this summer. The countdown is on to the second P1 Scottish Grand Prix of the Sea, a weekend festival of marine motorsport on the River Clyde at the end of June, and Inverclyde businesses have again been quick to sign up as sponsors and partners. Co-hosted by Riverside Inverclyde and Inverclyde Council with support from EventScotland, the event in Greenock on Saturday 24 and Sunday 25 June will be the second round of the P1 UK race series and has attracted backing from a variety of local firms as well as national companies based in the area. And renewing its sponsorship is the UK’s largest ferry network operator (in terms of ships and destinations served) and one of the largest companies headquartered in Scotland – at neighbouring Gourock: Caledonian MacBrayne. P1 managing director, Robert Wicks, said: “CalMac has a long history of supporting community events and is the perfect partner to again help us make a significant economic and social impact in the region through the continued development of Scottish marine tourism. “Partnerships are at the heart of the P1 business model and we work with sponsors and local businesses to attract visitors to the area, boost the economy and activate our race event to support Inverclyde’s successful reimaging and regeneration programme. “Our aim is to maximise the benefits for each sponsor and, on a wider front, to build business in the area on the back of the P1 Scottish Grand Prix of the Sea and raise the profile of Inverclyde at the other events in our UK championship in England, Wales and Denmark.”

On that note I will say that I hope you have enjoyed the news from Scotland today,

Our look at Scotland today is of a plane landing on Berra one of the iconic beach runways…

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Friday 9th June 2017 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in

Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus

[jamierbattinus]

How To Take Advantage Of ClickFunnels & ActiveCampaign -Barry Moore

PracticeBloom CEO Matt Coffy sits down with Barry Moore from The Active Marketer to talk about ways you can use ClickFunnels to market your medical practice more effectively.

Discussion points:

05:29 Seperate pieces of the engagement process

07:38 The importance of goals

13:38 What happens after you acquire names/emails

20:00 Using ClickFunnels to segment your audiences

27:09 Sifting through the rubble to find gold

29:36 About the Active Market Academy

Transcription

Matt: So I’m very excited to talk to Barry Moore. Barry and I have had a couple of conversations before, I think probably last year talking about funnelization strategies and moving the process into automation and a lot of really cool stuff Barry’s been up to. Barry can you just give us the 2 second overview because I think you’ve got some great thunder in your background that people could understand. What’s Barry up to today? Let’s go from there.

Barry: What is Barry up to today? Barry was catching up on some sleep because I’ve been doing a lot of traveling. I was in the states. I live in Australia on the east coast of Australia and was over in the states for the last few weeks. One of the reasons I was there for Russell Brunson’s Funnel Hacking Live Event which was great. Great to hear some really sharp marketers talk about different strategies and I have a whole notebook here of ideas from it now that I’m back home. At the moment, I’ve run a community for people who want to learn to use marketing automation and funnels so I’m madly creating content for that and also going back through my businesses and taking the lessons from Funnel Hacking Live and looking at where I can apply them in my own business and help my students and academy members put it into their business. So lots of stuff happening on this end of the world.

Matt: Great, and so I have a question for you. Before we even get into the meat and potatoes of the stuff that you do which I think really fits well into working with the markets that we work with and the markets that would make an impact from this production work that you do. What’s a fun fact about you that we don’t know?

Barry: Well there’s lots of fun facts about me, just depends on the rating of the show I guess. A fun fact for me is at the moment I am chasing a goal of running a marathon on every single continent on earth. So I’ve got two down. I was running one in North America when I was there but unfortunately I had an injury and couldn’t finish so I’ve got to do North America once again. I’ve done Asia, a Mongolia marathon last year and I’ve done one here in Australia obviously but I’ve got them all mapped out and I’m finishing off with one in Antarctica. There’s actually a marathon in Antarctica, so that’s going to be the finish.

Matt: Who would’ve thought that would’ve been something people would go “You know what? Let’s put a marathon in Antarctica. Let’s see, that will be a big draw” You’ll probably have a lot of people at that one.

Barry: It actually is. There’s a two year waiting list or something like that to get in.

Matt: That’s what I said, it’s a unique once in a lifetime thing right?

Barry: Yeah for sure.

Matt: So, the things I know about you is that you’re a pilot. Were you doing Q-Link for a while?

Barry: Yeah that’s right. I just finished up yesterday. It was my last day there, so I run my marketing business and I still fly part time because I like flying and if I’m going to fly airplanes, I’d rather have someone else pay for it than pay for it myself.

Matt: So what was your favorite plane in Q-Link? Obviously that’s Quantisus’ secondary brand.

Barry: I was flying the -AQ400, which is probably the most advanced commercial turbo prop. 74 seats, 29 tons, really fast, 360 knots which is super fast for a turboprop. Very advanced. Really nice airplane to manage. It was good fun but it was time to move onto other things. I got to see heaps and heaps of Australia with a lot of parts people don’t normally get to see so yeah, that’s been great.

Matt: Did you fly the Fokker as well?

Barry: That’s what I’m going onto next actually. I’m going to fly the Fokker 100 which is the jet.

Matt: That sounds exciting. Well keep us updated on that side. That looks like a really cool thing to fly.

Barry: Yeah it does. Looking forward to it.

Matt: Great, so we want to get into really the 3 things we talk about. We talked about this probably 5-10 times a day I have this discussion. It’s ActiveCampaign, ClickFunnels and WordPress. Every single day when we talk to medical practitioners, which is really where this is focused at but it does apply to everybody who uses the funnelization tools to drive behavior from a educational standpoint for introduction, investigation, decision, commitment and then down to close. We really look to separate out the pieces of the engagement process in order to drive and attraction model that works. In a lot of cases what we’re finding is that there’s retargeting, there’s different versions of how you want to refine the funnels at the bottom to segment out your practitioner requirements. So if you’re a medical spa and you want to derive a patient who’s interested in Botox which is a fairly common procedure, well you’ve got to get them aware of you and then you’ve got to attract them with an offer and then you’ve got to bring them through to the conversion stage where they’re going to actually make a decision and then the engagement process. I wanted to ask you from ActiveCampaign side, there’s a lot of pieces to it and they’re extending and expanding. What have you seen in ActiveCampaign that’s new that we might want to know about that you’ve experienced and some best practices that you’ve seen?

Barry: Everything coming out at the moment has to do with e-commerce so they’ve just released a number of e-commerce integrations with Shopify and BigCommerce so you can suck in all of the purchase data from the strategic platforms and have that inside ActiveCampaign and then use those as triggers inside ActiveCampaign. You can say show me everyone who’s spent over $2000 or show me everybody that’s bought in the last 30 days. Maybe doesn’t apply to the healthcare industry so much but one feature that’s been there for a little while that is really underutilized and would probably help all of the listeners here is goals. I don’t know how much your listeners are using goals, but they’re a super powerful feature that allows you to keep track of goals and how efficient certain automations or certain messaging is at moving the person down the next line of your marketing. So you talk about those different phases of marketing. You’ve got cold traffic and warm traffic and hot traffic, people who are problem aware and people who are solution aware. I always use the train track metaphor where you’re trying to build a train track and at one end of it there’s people who trust you and repeat customers, the other end of that train line is out in the boondocks somewhere and that’s someone who’s never heard of you or just heard of you through their very first exposure to you. You want to get them on that train line and then move them from station to station until they get to Grand Central Station and are raving fans. All of your messaging needs to have that goal in mind of moving them to the next station down the track and those goals can be used to measure how effective that is. So if we’re trying to move someone from an indoctrination sequence or introduction sequence into an up sale sequence or some sort of sequence that gets them to book an appointment and come in and talk to us. How effective was that sequence in achieving that goal? The goal is to get them into the office or get them to book an appointment so how effective is that? So the goals will keep track of that. They’ll say this particular automation was 75% effective in getting people to book and then once you’re armed with that information you can either tweak that automation and make it better. The other thing you can use hand in hand with that is their new automation split testing feature so within an automation you can have a couple different paths. You can send half the people down path A half the people down path B and then you can see whether path A or path B converts better to whatever goal you’re trying to get. Does that make sense?

Matt: Yeah, so let’s take it from an example. We’ll go back to the Botox example and then we’ll do another healthcare related example. So in the case of Botox, let’s say they’re on Facebook, they see a “learn about the top 10 things that you can improve with a Botox solution, click here” so then they click there, they get to the landing page and on the landing page it has a little video introduction into some of the things that you’ll be able to accomplish by having this special injection or whatever it might be for the botox solution, download this guide. Then the guide goes to them and now you’ve created that automation string behind that with the string of emails that follows up in an XYZ timing. So it might be they get one instantaneously or they get one the next day then they get another one 3 days later and then another one 6 days later and then what we could do in this particular case, what you were talking about which is we could do a couple of different cadences with different language. Obviously when people get emails, there’s an option to check and see if the headlines are good, make sure that the offer needs to be placed in the third email where they maybe haven’t opened anything. So now that they get to the third email, maybe there’s an option or there’s a “hey by the way, we have a $50 gift certificate if you’d like to take advantage of this, it’s good for the next 3 days, click here”. So there’s all sorts of variations of the theme once you get the person’s email and that’s really ActiveCampaign’s role in remarketing and the email piece where there’s an opportunity to create different types of commitment strategies to try to get someone through. Maybe we could just do a quick other example. Now let’s say it’s a spine surgeon who is looking to provide his expertise in robotic spine surgery, and we’ll do the same thing with an ad coming through Facebook. There’s a picture of a robotic spine piece of equipment and have you learned about robotic spine surgery? the latest thing in evasive spine surgery and then that goes to a landing page with a video and some language. Here click the button to get the top 5 things that are new in spine surgery that you’ll know can give you a painless or pain free from a standpoint of comparatively to any type of surgery. The concept would be now you run emails, you present your case over a period of time and maybe within that framework you offer some sort of free MRI or some sort of investigative solution for the potential patient. Then use different tracks where you could go down the decision making track that could be something along the line of video case studies being sent as emails, there’s all sorts of things you can do once you set the automations up but as you mentioned, if you’re not measuring your goals then you don’t know which ones are being successful and if you can AB test them against each other, you’ve really got yourself a model for improvement.

Barry: Yeah and if you take a step back from that, what I find a lot of the time with customers and clients is that they have that opt-in. All of the online marketing stuff that’s out there talks about funnels and opt-ins and landing pages and lead magnet offers and how to get someone’s name into your list which is great, but very few people are talking about what happens after that. So you’ll have people who offer them a lead magnet and video or .pdf or whatever, we’re gonna get them on the list then put them in this sequence that sends them in your example, 5 emails and them my next question is always, alright, what is the goal of that sequence? You’re sending them 5 emails, what do you want that lead to do at the end of that 5 email sequence? What’s the call to action? What’s the next step on the train line? A lot of times they don’t have answer for that, they’re just sending them emails to send them emails so in your botox example, maybe it’s to get them to come in and book an appointment or come to an information session that you’re putting on at a restaurant somewhere but there’s a clear goal that you want that person to take. Let’s say it’s to come in for an appointment, I want them to come in for an appointment. So they’ve consumed my free lead magnet so the follow-up sequence might go, we’re going to reiterate the information in the lead magnet, provide some social proof about why I’m a great practitioner, and here’s some case studies and testimonials and then I’ll hit them with an offer and sweeten them with a 50 dollar discount to come in or bring a friend in and you both get 50 bucks off or whatever. There’s a clear goal and the goal is to get them to come in so once we have the goal and once we’re measuring the goal, now we can start to tweak different offers. So is the 50 dollar offer better than a two for one where you give them one treatment and their next is half off. Now you can tweak the offer but you can also tweak the manner in which you present the offer so you can have one automation that sends one email every 5 days with an offer in the fifth one and I can test that against a shorter sequence which is 3 emails every 2 days with the same offer and now once I’ve got an offer that converts I can start tweaking how it’s presented to see which way converts better. Does the 5 emails every day convert better than the 3 emails every other day? Not only can you change up the offer but how you present the offer to see which way they’re more receptive to.

Matt: Yeah this goes back to the whole kind of concept of where are we finding channel optimization as well because maybe some channels will not have the same cadences so if you’re bringing in people from a cold list as opposed to a warm list of active participants so it could be a list that’s already been generated from some other event or something that is related to the topic as opposed to a cold list which might be a little bit different of a strategy. I always think of it, and we do this a lot with chiropractors and physical therapy where in the case of let’s say decompression therapy which is a popular topic these days and let’s say we’re running a sciatica ad, we could drop them back to a video for cold traffic to get them aware of the actual procedure and then do a follow-up email campaign that is now post to the video once we’ve had somebody in that chain that we’ve measured how much they’ve watched the video. So let’s say they watched more than 50% then we have a different set of rules to automate towards them as opposed to someone who didn’t go past the first 30 seconds and in that case we know they’re still not educated, so we need to re-educate them again and see if we can get them further down the path. So there’s a whole nurturing aspect to ActiveCampaign and every other CRM tool, they all do some of the similar things but one of the advantages of ActiveCampaign that we’ve found is the visualization of the drawing of the module so we can literally, physically just draw stuff out and connect it all together which is awesome.

Barry: Yeah and just to loop back, you make a really good point there that a lot of people kind of miss as well is that the messaging that you’re sending to these prospects has to be different depending on where they are in the decision cycle and how familiar they are with you. So we talk a little about cold traffic, never heard of you before, never heard of Matt before, it’s my first exposure to Matt. Warm traffic is somebody who may have been following you for a while, investigated a couple of different remedies for sciatica. They may have been a customer of yours in a different circumstance, so not necessarily this not familiar with that particular offer but they’re a repeat customer of yours. So the messaging and the offer you provide those 3 groups of people has to be different. A lot of times people come up with one standard offer, one standard follow up sequence and that’s it and it doesn’t convert well because it’s not particularly targeted at anybody and as you know and as you said people go through a certain decision cycle before they choose a remedy and a practitioner of that remedy. So you have to determine where they are in that decision cycle, are they cold, warm or hot? Whether their problem or solution aware at all. So you’ve got problem aware people who have a pain in their back or legs but they don’t necessarily know compression therapy is the right treatment aware, so they’re problem aware, they know they have a problem. Then there’s people who are solution aware that are like I know I need compression therapy, I just don’t know which practitioner is the best one to go to so radically different messaging for those different types of people.

Matt: Right, and what I was going to say is that kind of dove tails into the next topic which is the use of ClickFunnels advantages to help segment out audiences and so we’ll take the same example and it’s kind of interesting because we’re going through this right now where we can use Facebook for a broad matched back pain problem so someone who you can put up a case study of 6-10 second .gif video of someone who’s before and after. They look benched over in pain, then you see them a few seconds later where they’re standing up and they look bright and cheery. Download this guide to understand new breakthrough techniques for back pain relief and then that takes them to the landing page and then there off getting their guidebook for back pain and in this case now we could put up in ClickFunnels, now we could really think about doing some Ryan Levesque type stuff which is we could set up that funnel to specifically target a different type of quadrant so you could say you clicked the button, and then move into the next phase which is “thank you for taking this guidebook for relieving your pain, where exactly have you had most pain and is there specific conditions?” then give them some radio buttons, is this lower back pain? Upper back pain? Sciatica related or just general back pain? Now you know if it’s sciatica related, they click that button, now you can really hyper target and that’s where people who know this business and take that approach in ClickFunnels to really start to think. With ClickFunnels you can take an idea and quickly turn it up into a landing page without having to interrupt designers and so forth, you can really just build it quickly enough and then test it and I think that’s the one thing that ClickFunnels in front of ActiveCampaign, as ActiveCampaign’s sort of the catch all for everything else but I just wanted your experience on ClickFunnels and what you think things are maybe new or things where we could take advantage of some of the things you’ve had success with that can help the listener get through mechanically transparent ways to use the platform that are beyond just setting up a landing page and having a click button.

Barry: Yeah, I think you touched on it exactly. It’s the rapid prototyping and rapid speed to market to test an idea so even Russell himself said and he shared this at the event over the failures he’s had along the way. He’s a very successful guy, multi millions of dollars in ClickFunnels but even he said himself, “I have more losers than I have winners” and the way you make money is to burn through those losers as quickly as possible and find that one that’s the winner, right? So I’ve had other tech people, you and I are quite techy and other people that we know are techy in this, so you know ClickFunnels you can build all of that stuff with this landing page tool and this tool in WordPress and yeah, you absolutely could replicate everything you do in ClickFunnels with other tools that are out there, no question about it, but it would take you a much longer time to market and much more technical expertise and integration that needs to happen whereas the real power of ClickFunnels is I can have an idea this morning and be running traffic to it in the afternoon, that’s the power of it. I can test as you said, I can test for offers in a couple of days and find out which of those offers are converting better. Once I know that, I can start running traffic to the best converting offer. One of the guys that spoke at the conference was a guy named Trey Lewellen, I don’t know if you know him but he said he was a success with ClickFunnels and he said when he first started, he was using ClickFunnels to put up a new funnel every week. That was his goal, one funnel a week every week just to find the ones that are the gold and sift out the gold from the rocks and the rubble. Once he found the ones that worked, just double and triple down on the traffic and boom, the guy’s making 6-7 figures out of a single funnel so that’s the real power is the rapid prototyping I think.

Matt: Yeah and what we see in the field from just regular discussions with doctors is that 95% of them don’t have any funnel set up to start with that’s even usable because most of it’s just been set and forget forever and the other 4% will be someone who’s actually got a landing page with some sort of offer or offer strategy that’s just been built in WordPress so there’s no testing capabilities and maybe we’ll find the 1% that will have some sort of idea of how to do the testing because that’s really where the magic is in this business and we’ve figured that out as well and you hit it on the head which is we’ve tried do it all ourselves too. We tried to do everything and send it off to our designer and say “hey build this new site, AB test it” all on WordPress through the different plugins and you know what? We just burned out guys out. They’re like “sorry, it’s not gonna be done for another week” and I’m like, I get it because you guys are busy so we just started using ClickFunnels by default because we didn’t have any more resources left but now that we’ve used it and our designers are using it, now it’s like wow, now in an hour I can have something produced and we can start running it which is just fantastic because we’ve built enough templates and are keeping them within the framework of ClickFunnels and you can AB test them right there which is great so you’re getting faster results. For people who are running some significant budgets, this is amazing impacts on their productivity and it is a definite cure to bring costs down for practitioners and a cure for getting the right person the right market message and I think that’s what gets overlooked is that there’s just so much broad matching in the market that yeah, it does work but it’s only working at a very limited level.

Barry: Yeah so the next question is always how can I get this to work better? How can I get this to convert better? How can I up the average cart value? How can I get a repeat business? The real thing is sifting through all of the rubble to find the gold and once you’ve found that then you can use all of the tools in ClickFunnels and figure out how to provide more traffic with this and what kind of traffic to it? What happens if we tweak the offer a little bit with some split testing? What about an up sell at the back of it? There’s so many multiple layers that you can continue to add on once you’ve found the winning offer but the important bit is to get to that winning offer as quickly as possible.

Matt: Yeah, and it’s very true for any practitioner in any market whether it’s a very high end spine surgery like robotic surgery, it’s mid level where it’s maybe a plastic surgeon or even if it goes right down to the singular one or two type of level practitioner who’s doing simple things like acupuncture or even we talk about Botox and these things that are more really cash basis type of stuff, there’s some impact there. In fact, we’ve got numbers down to like 12 bucks a lead for some of these practitioners where we’ve combed it down to a certain degree where we can say with predictability, we know if we run X amount of dollars in Facebook, we will come out with $12 per lead emails and we can actually get the phone number as well and it brings up the cost per lead a little bit but it just depends on what your offer is obviously. There’s a big difference when you have compelling offers. So I wanted to ask you about the things you’re doing and you know, Active Market Academy. Can you talk about that? This is really cool and I’m embarrassed to say I’m not part of that yet but I think it’s relatively new. It’s not like it’s been around for a long time but I know a few of the members of SFB are in there and I was like holy crap, this is great, I didn’t even realize you were that further down the road with the membership model which is, for anybody who is interested in this stuff and loves to get involved with getting really good results, I mean you’ve been at this, you’ve got examples, you’ve been working with this so there’s a real advantage. So talk to me about the academy.

Barry: Yeah what I kind of saw is, I like to help people. I’m a super geek and I’ll talk about this stuff and share this stuff all day long but what I found with customers and clients that I’ve been working with one on one, one, one on one is not a great model in the first place because it doesn’t scale very well but the more the membership community allows me to help more people, allows me to scale a bit more. So inside a membership community, what we do is talk about training in ActiveCampaign and other tools like ThriveCard and Podio, really how you can automate your business and get the most automation out of your marketing and the most automation out of the back end delivery of your business and all of the kind of stuff we’re talking about here with marketing, creating offers, how to get those offers to convert so inside of the communities are training courses on various tools that people use for marketing and shared automation so if you need an indoctrination sequence or on boarding sequence, well here just click on this link and you can get it right into your account. So we’re also providing other resources to shortcut the time to result if you will. Then we also do live monthly training calls either with myself or master classes with those in the field so February was with Chris Lange who’s probably the smartest guy, certainly the smartest guy that I know when it comes to deliver ability so all of those emails that we’re writing and those sequences that we have ready to go out, none of that matters if it doesn’t get you to their inbox right? So getting an email to someone’s inbox is kind of a black art, very similar to search engine optimization. There’s a number of moving parts there, and a number of things that are constantly changing so we do a master class with Chris on deliverability and how to give yourself the best chance at getting into the inbox. So stuff like that, educational content, resources that you can suck straight into your account and shortcut and we also go through some of the more popular marketing strategies you may come across out in the internet there. For example, some of the members wanted to know how to do a survey funnel type Ryan Levesque type survey funnel and we’ll just break that down. Here’s what you do, step one, here’s what you do, step two, step three, step four. So really practical advice rather than just theory about here’s how it works, you survey customers, put them into buckets and send them different messaging and you say “yeah okay that’s great, but how do I actually do that? It’s Monday morning and I’ve got my computer turned on, what’s the first thing I need to do?” so we talk about different survey tools, how to build those tools, how to get them onto your website, how to create the buckets, how to create those buckets in ActiveCampaign once you’ve segmented the people, once they’re segmented then you have different automations that need to go out and here’s the shared automations you can put straight into your account. So really more on the practical wrench turning side of it rather than just a lot of theory without any implementation.

Matt: That’s awesome, so what would you suggest for our listener if they’re interested in connecting up with you and getting involved in your academy, any next steps you’d recommend that would help them on their path if they wanted to do this stuff themselves and build out these funnels and how do I get the conversion and cost down, conversions up and things flowing faster?

Barry: Yeah sure, well I’ve got a podcast as well and we talk about the marketing automation component in the back end as well. We don’t do what you do which is focus on the front end offers and targeting your people, we kind of talk about what I said in the beginning is once someone’s given me their name and email address, what happens then? That’s the ActiveMarketer podcast if they want to go and check that out and if they want to have a look around the academy, I can set up a free trial offer for your listeners and you can send out a link in the show notes and they can get in and have a look around and see if they like it.

Matt: That would be awesome. Well we’ll put that link in the show notes. So we talked about your ability to run on different planets because you’re literally running on another planet if you’re on Antarctica and you just ran in the desert, so we might as well just say you ran on Mars and now you’re running on the moon right?

Barry: and the mountains.

Matt: Exactly, I don’t know how you do it. I’m flabbergasted, my knees would explode. We know that you’re going to be flying one of those Focker 100’s. We talked really quickly about the general ActiveCampaign market which is a CRM like InfusionSoft or any of the other general CRMs that are out there. I think that ActiveCampaign is the most general friendly. We’ve been through a bunch and I can’t even talk about InfusionSoft anymore it’s just too much. To me it’s been simply put that ActiveCampaign for the general marketer or the general practitioners that we would work with, it just fits really well. It’s so simple and visually available to draw out conclusions and work through different variations. We work through ClickFunnels after that, where we talked about some of the general purpose of ClickFunnels and its quick prototyping and super easy facilitation of building out ideas to production and then the great Active Market Academy and your participation in helping people out. That’s just awesome. So next steps, I can get the link out for your free trial which is awesome. Thank you very much and anything else you’d like to offer to the folks who are listening and/or your contact information if that’s anything that you’d like to suggest or recommend?

Barry: Yeah, if anybody’s got any questions at all they can always hit me up. I’ve got a private Facebook group called Automation Nation so if you just go to Facebook and type in Automation Nation, you’ll find it and just tell me you want to join and we’ll let you in and I’ll be happy to answer any questions anybody may have in there. That’s probably the best place.

Matt: Awesome, Barry thanks so much. It’s been awesome; I can’t wait to continue this dialogue. I think the only thing I would say is I’m going to miss you next week; I think you’re going to be still in the gold coast instead of up in San Diego right? For Traffic & Conversions.

Barry: Yeah, I’m back in Australia now so I’ll be here for a few months before I head off overseas somewhere I’m sure, but I’m looking forward to spending some time at home and on the beach.

Matt: Good for you, that’s awesome. Alright, well we’ll catch you at some time down the road. Hopefully one of these days in the states we’ll hook up.

Barry: No worries, thanks Matt!

Matt: You’re welcome.

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