#if i was there (the finale screening) i would have stopped it (booed axe)

[nothingunrealistic]

Throughout the course of Billions, characters have conspired to take down their enemies with comically elaborate schemes. It’s only natural, then, that the series finale, “Admirals Fund,” hinges on one last con. With self-made billionaire Mike Prince (Corey Stoll) shaping up to be the next POTUS, longtime adversaries Chuck Rhoades (Paul Giamatti) and Bobby Axelrod (Damian Lewis) work together to take away the one thing that legitimizes Prince’s candidacy: his wealth. As Prince goes to meet with the current (albeit unnamed) president at Camp David—a tacit acknowledgement that he’s the front-runner in the upcoming election—Chuck and Axe set about orchestrating his downfall. At the Southern District of New York’s offices, Chuck tells his staff that they’re now investigating six of the United States’ largest national gas companies for potential collusion with China, Russia, and Iran. Meanwhile, Philip Charyn (Toney Goins), who has the final say on all trades at Michael Prince Capital and has secretly soured on his boss, goes about putting all of the company’s funds into the natural gas sector. Once the SDNY’s investigation is leaked to the press as Chuck intended, the stocks crater and MPC’s risk-management algorithm sells all of the natural gas positions once they become worthless. (Since Prince doesn’t have access to his phone at Camp David, he’s oblivious to all of this going down.) By the time Chuck holds a press conference announcing that the investigation amounted to nothing but hearsay—thereby allowing the natural gas stocks to rebound—Prince’s entire portfolio has been wiped out. As for Axe, he ensures that his former Axe Capital employees are spared from the carnage by siphoning their money into a secret internal fund. In one fell swoop, Prince loses his throne. With that, Billions arrives at its own version of a happy ending: Chuck reclaims his dream job at SDNY, Axe revives his hedge fund, Wendy Rhoades (Maggie Siff) embraces a new challenge as the CEO of a telehealth company, and Taylor Mason (Asia Kate Dillon) leaves the world of finance for philanthropy. (While Prince’s company is destroyed and his presidential aspirations are extinguished, his consolation prize is the $100 million he tucked away at Black-owned banks to secure Killer Mike’s endorsement.) Still, even as Billions ends, it’s hard to imagine these characters ever winding down—in the spirit of the show’s innumerable pop culture references, the action is the juice. Of course, the world of Billions isn’t going anywhere: as Showtime announced earlier this year, as many as four spinoffs are in development. (The working titles for two of these projects: Millions and Trillions; I’m not kidding.) With the Writers Guild of America strike only just ending—and the Screen Actors Guild still negotiating with studios—there haven’t been any meaningful updates on these spinoffs. But for the time being, series cocreators Brian Koppelman and David Levien are more than happy to break down all things Billions. Below, we discuss the challenge of ending a show with such a deep ensemble, what goes into executing a long con, and the celebrity cameos that could have been.

Good to see you guys again. Brian, I haven’t seen you since you kicked my ass in tennis, but I’ve been trying to work on my game since. Brian Koppelman: Yeah, how’s that been going, man? Actually, it’s been going well. I won a tournament in Brooklyn last month, but it felt very fluky. It didn’t have any heavy hitters in the draw. Koppelman: All deep respect to you, but I’m not optimistic about your chances against me.

[Laughs] Fair enough. First of all, congrats on the finale. When you guys started Billions, did you already have an idea of how long the series would go on for, or were you taking it season by season and assessing after that? Brian Koppelman: I think the only way one can think about this is: Do you think at the beginning of something like this, it sets up to be the kind of story you could tell over a long period of time? Do the characters have enough of a charge in them, and does the world suggest the possibility for enough conflict and story and resonance to the society that you’re living in? For us, the answers to those questions were yes, and so it was like, well, let’s try. Each season, you empty the clip. Each season, you try to tell the absolute best story you can—you don’t save ideas. That’s what David Chase said, and that’s what Matt Weiner said, and that was our approach. But we did it weirdly, we had the first three seasons and we knew, if we can do it— David Levien: The broad strokes were mapped out. Koppelman: So then as you’re doing that, you start to think, OK, two more seasons out, and two more seasons out. In a way, yes, we certainly never felt like more than seven seasons was the right answer. At a certain point, Billions watchers were not casual fans. They were people who watched the show more than once and really invested in the canted world that these characters live in. Getting that kind of response, knowing that if we had a character have an odd enthusiasm or interesting reverence, that there were a lot of people out there to catch what we were throwing, that really does act as fuel.

With a show like this, what’s the biggest challenge in landing the plane? My mind goes straight to just how loaded and talented the ensemble is, and trying to give every character a worthy sendoff. Levien: Yeah, that was a big part of it. We wanted to have a good resolution for so many different characters. Over the course of the final season, we wanted to revisit tons of guest stars, and then for the core group, we had a good amount of people that needed a moment. Also, a lot of different pairings of people that needed to have resolution. It was a question of balancing that valedictory stuff with wrapping up the plot in an exciting way, so that you weren’t sitting there, having stopped moving, basically for the goodbyes. That’s what we spent the most time on: balancing in the final episode how to unfurl the big plot moves, and filtering in all of the more emotional stuff.

The public perception of billionaires has evolved quite a bit since the start of the series—there’s more scrutiny, and even animosity. Did that affect not just your approach to the series, but how you introduced a new foil like Mike Prince? Levien: Yeah, I mean that totally informed it. When we started, we were very focused on these hedge fund billionaires who really didn’t like to be in the spotlight, and they didn’t really advertise that they were building anything for the good of humanity. They all generally did some philanthropy, but even that wasn’t super public. But then after a couple of years as we were into it, we started to realize that there was this new kind of a billionaire who maybe came from venture capital, or was an inventor, or in private equity or something, and they were bringing these ideas to benefit mankind and help everybody. Koppleman: But putting air quotes around [benefiting mankind], we didn’t find that credible. Levien: Maybe they tried, but the idea that by virtue of all the success, they had all the answers in every field, and that politics was a natural extension of that. So yeah, Mike Prince got introduced as this wonderful guy who had all the answers and didn’t even show you that he was competitive. Because he was so warm and cuddly, like a cuddly monster as he calls himself. But then as you spend more time with him, you start to see the darker hues that everybody gets alarmed by. Koppelman: But also, Miles, your question is interesting because it comes from a very particular point of view—of geography, age, profession. In fact, it’s not true, right? It’s true in the microcosm, it’s completely not true in the macro. I mean, look at Shark Tank and Mark Cuban in the world, and yes, one may decry Elon [Musk], but just go online today and say something bad about him. It’s interesting that you asked the question. I would ask you to actually probe that because you stated it like it’s a fact, but it’s a fact for a group of people who feel a certain way. Perhaps we’re in that group of people with you, who have a jaundiced eye toward that kind of power. But one of the things we learned in making the show was that in our minds, Axe was never the hero of the show. From Episode 6 of the first season on, we slowly reveal that Axe is essentially the kind of utilitarian who would let a guy die for a little more money and security. And we were shocked that the audience loved him even more. Levien: They thought he was a badass for that. Koppelman: We were revealing that, yes, this guy’s charming and powerful and charismatic and has great verbal skills and is a winner. But you—us—should regard him with huge amounts of suspicion, and a huge amount of awareness for the destructive power that’s on the flip side of all the gifts. At the same time, that’s when the country elects Trump—at the end of the first season, that’s when that happened. We were watching the culture in a wrestling match about this question. Perhaps for you it’s settled, but I don’t think it’s settled for most of America.

I guess I would counter that with the guild strikes. Obviously, it’s more specific to our industry, but the last time the writers were on strike, there wasn’t as much public support for it. When you lay out the facts for people, fewer will side with the studios and these wealthy executives. We don’t have to get into all that, and maybe it’s not a true consensus, but I feel like— Koppelman: That’s the media. I mean, fans of the show couldn’t help getting some kind of wish fulfillment thing going with Axe. It’s like Tony Soprano or Walter White. People might not get the right message from it. They might just idolize these people. Koppelman: I’m really interested in what we’re going to discover about these kinds of people. I understand why we all would decry them. I’m really interested in why they’re effective so we can learn from it as a society. It’s fascinating to explore it, for me, with curiosity.

Diving into the finale—hopefully it goes without saying that this is a compliment—but seeing all the characters and the way they orchestrated Prince’s downfall, it almost felt like something out of an Ocean’s movie. These long cons—and seeing how all the pieces fall into place—have been one of the show’s biggest calling cards. As the creative architects behind these moments, what goes into making a long con and executing it well? Koppelman: Imperfect information. Levien: To the audience. Koppelman: Right. The thing that makes someone good at poker is understanding how to look at imperfect information, and if you’re telling a story, it’s how to distribute information with holes in it that might lead somebody a certain way. You know, it’s this old [Quentin] Tarantino thing, where he talked about the challenge of audiences being so sophisticated. They’ve ridden the roller coaster so many times that they start leaning left before the roller coaster banks left. Quentin’s point is that, as a creator, you have to find a way to get them leaning left and then whip right.

One thing that struck me this season was the emphasis on self-improvement from the characters. For instance, Chuck chose to help Ira with the cellphone sex tape scandal instead of throwing him under the bus. Characters didn’t necessarily change who they were as much as becoming better versions of themselves. What inspired that shift? Levien: There has to be some kind of evolution. For some characters, they can change more. Taylor can take a stride and finally deploy money in a way that’s going to be philanthropic. For someone like Chuck, he’s not going to change completely elementally, but he can still take steps—small steps. That reflected a reality to us and yet it stayed true to his character. It’s an interesting contrast to Prince. The other characters are willing to acknowledge their flaws and work on them, whereas Prince can only choose to believe that he’s a righteous person. Levien: That’s something that we were working with, which is that the main characters ultimately looked at who they were and knew who they were. He was the one guy who was in denial, and that was his fatal flaw.

The characters on Billions have been driven by constant schemes to acquire more power or money—or both—and it’s hard to imagine that stopping just because the show is ending. Have you put any thought into where you see characters like Axe, Chuck, Taylor, and Wendy in five or 10 years? Koppelman: It’s real intentional what Axe’s last lines are. We don’t really talk in terms of statements we’re trying to make. But he’s someone with all those options in life, all those tools, all that money, all that ability to buy freedom, to have freedom. Yet the only place that he feels really alive is talking to this group of mostly men and saying, “Let’s make some fucking money.” There is something about that that we wanted to leave you with, and have you think about. We hope you’ll consider why that made you feel the way it made you feel. We watched [the finale] in a theater recently and [the audience] was cheering [for Axe], and it’s like, well, why? What are you cheering for, exactly? We’re really interested in that question.

One of the joys of Billions is seeing all the celebrity cameos, and this season you got the likes of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Triple H, and Killer Mike. Are there any celebrities at the top of the wishlist who didn’t appear on the show? Koppelman: Tiger Woods was the only clean turndown. With Tiger, there was nothing we could do. [Woods’s longtime agent Mark Steinberg] just wrote back, “No.” We know from someone that Tiger watches the show and he likes the show. But the answer was no. There is one heartbreak, and we haven’t said this to anyone, but we were really close to getting the great Steve Harvey on our show. Really? Levien: He was extremely difficult to get to. Even considering all the people that we got, he was the toughest. Koppelman: We had a really special thing we’d written for Steve Harvey and we could never quite make it. Sadly, there was a scheduling snafu and he was on a Zoom that we didn’t know about, waiting for us. And you do not make a man like Steve Harvey wait. It’s crushing to us—we hope that whatever we do next, we can find a way to get Mr. Harvey to show up just one day. One day with Mr. Harvey and my entire life would be better.

Showtime already told me that you don’t have any updates on the Billions spinoffs. Instead, I’ve got a pitch for you guys: I’m thinking Maestro Scooter at the New York Philharmonic going full Lydia Tar. Levien: When Scooter gets the baton in his hand, he starts to become a driven maniac. Koppelman: I think you’ll understand, Miles, that under normal circumstances, of course we would welcome you into the writers room. But we can’t poach from Bill Simmons, and that’s the only reason. Otherwise, we would tell you to create that for us under our umbrella. But we have to close that umbrella because we’re under Bill’s umbrella. (Editor’s note: Koppelman and Levien hosted a Billions podcast with The Ringer during Season 5.) Of course, the separation of church and state. I understand. I just wanted to throw it out there, and obviously you’ll be hearing from my lawyers if Maestro Scooter does happen. Koppelman: I feel if you write this without acknowledging the tennis loss, you’re not including your bias in the piece. Levien: It’s going to be one of those profile-y things where it’s like, “Koppelman likes to bully about his tennis.” Wow, you had to bring up the loss again. Koppelman: I think of it as a win.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (April 23/2021) - The Lessons

Those resisting the Egg meet on Cloud Prime to prepare for the Red Banquet, composing backup plans and wondering if the Eggpire really is trying to turn over a new leaf.

Ranboo experiences something strange while talking to Foolish about the mansion and goes searching for some answers, confronting Sam at the prison.

---

VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Philza

Captain Puffy

Jack Manifold

Ranboo

Hannahxxrose

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- Foolish picks out an outfit for the Red Banquet.

- Phil continues to work on the massive basement build.

- Puffy needs a Banquet skin as well. She meets Foolish at the Holy Land.

- Foolish shows Puffy the Nether Portal entrance to his summer home that he’s been working on. He also still needs therapy from the catmaid incident.

- They meet with Sam and Hannah on Cloud Prime. Foolish hands them all Rolexes for the Banquet.

- They discuss the Banquet. Sam says Bad told them they wanted to “turn over a new leaf.” They notice Bad used the same phrases for all of them. Foolish and Puffy are both skeptical. 

- Sam thinks they should have a backup plan. He pulls out diamond blocks, saying he can donate riches. The Eggpire doesn’t want them bringing items, but Sam thinks they should hide armor somewhere down near the Banquet area just in case.

- Hannah and Foolish leave.

- Antfrost comes over and Puffy and Sam briefly speak with him. They tell him they’re excited for the Banquet, for the hatchet that they’re going to bury and the leaf they’ll turn over.

- Right now, Antfrost is working on final preparations. Sam asks if there’s anything he can help with. Ant says they could bring shrimp for Puffy’s shrimp cocktails.

Puffy: “Well, I mean I was promised it was gonna be there -- that’s kinda the reason why I showed up, honestly, was -- was for the shrimp. And you know the leaf, of course, that we’re turning.”

Ant: “Of course, of course. It’ll be there, it’ll be there.”

...

Sam: “Is there anything specifically that we should look forward to?”

Ant: “I think just everybody getting along and you know, becoming one. Turning over a new leaf.”

- They say goodbye and Antfrost leaves.

- Sam and Puffy speak. Can they trust the other two, Hannah and Foolish?

Sam: “I know one of them’s your son--”

Puffy: “No, listen, listen. See, Foolish is innocent. He’s too good, too pure. But me and you, we’ve been here since the beginning. We’ve seen this unfold since the Egg showed up, and I don’t think they’ve seen all the bad.”

Sam: “I don’t think they quite grasp how much the Egg has changed those two.”

Puffy: “God no...”

- Sam has a plan: to set a trap to destroy the Egg if necessary. He’s hesitant, though, as he doesn’t want to destroy the Egg if they really are trying to turn over a new leaf. They can drop TNT down the tunnel right on top of the Egg. He’ll have to sneak in a lever somewhere.

- Sam wants to give them a chance to turn over a new leaf, but this is their last chance. It’s now or never to gain their trust back. 

- They agree to not tell Hannah and Foolish a thing about this. The less they know, the less danger they’ll be in.

- Puffy says goodbye and Sam leaves to collect TNT. They’ll speak later.

- Puffy wanders off and thinks to herself.

“This has to be on me and Sam. There’s no -- I trust Foolish and I trust Hannah, but they haven’t been here since the beginning. They don’t know. They don’t know better.”

“I wanna trust Bad, I wanna trust Antfrost and Punz and I wanna trust that they’re being honest and they do want to make a difference, but...just too much has happened, they’ve changed too much, and I think there’s too much to risk, there’s too much on the line. It has to be like this. It has to be done."

- Puffy goes to prepare sets of armor.

- Jack gets some Netherite enchanted.

- After Tubbo chooses Ranboo over Jack on his stream with Tommy, Jack goes and leaves a sign in front of Bee ‘n’ Boo to get back at him:

Hope you have fun owning your hotel with Ranboo

- Jack </3

“It’s the worst kind of villainy, chat...making his feelings hurt.”

- He goes back to enchanting.

---

The Enderwalk Saga: Chapter One

The Lessons.

---

- Ranboo is in Michael’s room. He draws the Axe of Ender for a few seconds before throwing Michael a golden apple.

- He has to go speak with Foolish to talk about the mansion about the payment. When he reaches the mansion, he finds Foolish in the library. Foolish has himself a cake.

- The mansion is nearly complete, and Ranboo is excited to move in.

- Foolish tours Ranboo around the mansion, showing him the various rooms, including a war room that Tubbo requested. Some he’s not sure about. Maybe he could get some books -- he asks if Ranboo’s much of a book-reader.

- There’s also a panic closet that Foolish has already tried out after a certain chandelier.

- Foolish tries to bring Ranboo back to the war room but loses his way. As they pass the bee on the lead, Ranboo draws his axe for a moment again. Foolish reaches it and shows Ranboo a secret back space.

- Foolish brings up the deal he made with Ranboo to thank him. Not the mansion, but the shulker box. Ranboo is confused -- what deal?

- Foolish’s voice fades away for a moment, replaced with Enderman noises.

Words appear on the screen.

Lesson 14:

If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it.

- Foolish tosses Ranboo a grass block to hold. Ranboo carries it as he continues talking to Foolish. He nervously tells him he’s just remembered he has things to attend to, and they can talk later.

- Foolish leaves, and Ranboo speaks to himself. He’s confused. What was that? What deal was Foolish talking about?

- He leaves the mansion and heads out from Snowchester back to the mainland. He says it must not have anything to do with the “experiments” he’s been doing. There wouldn’t be any side effects. 

- Ranboo pauses in front of Bee ‘n’ Boo.

“I remember this...I have to finish this."

Lesson 27:

Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down.

- Ranboo is confused. Why is he only remembering this? 

- The Prime Path is splattered in red.

“He’s still in prison...can’t have anything to do with him.”

- Ranboo walks past L’manhole, eating potatoes.

“It was all going so well...why now? Because of what?”

- He heads towards the Panic Room but passes it. He’s just going for a walk. He figures he needs to tell people what he’s done.

- Ranboo makes his way down the railway.

Lesson 53:

Never fully trust anyone.

- He just has to block them out. That’s what he’s been doing this entire time. The experiments were doing well, he figured out how to cause it. He knew there might be side effects, but he didn’t think that this is what it would be.

- He heads back the other way to Tommy’s summer home, stopping on the hill and looking towards the prison. He promised himself he wouldn’t go in there again. 

Lesson 67:

Leave no evidence of what you have helped with.

- What did he do?

- It’s just because he hasn’t eaten. He eats more potatoes and starts heading home.

Lesson 94:

DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

The words flash on the pages of a book.

- Ranboo stops in front of the Nether Portal.

He has to go to the prison. He needs to find the fourth book.

- Ranboo runs back to the prison. The red splatters continue on the path leading there.

“For the greater good. It’s for the greater good. It’s all for the greater good.”

- Sam is standing outside the entrance, cleaning up the ground. Sam tells him no one is allowed to visit the prison, but Ranboo pleads with him to be let in. Sam insists that no one can go in, especially not Ranboo.

- Ranboo says he doesn’t want to visit Dream.

Ranboo: “I need to be put in the prison, Sam...”

- He can’t tell Sam why. Sam says he doesn’t need to be in the prison, he hasn’t done anything wrong.

Ranboo: “I CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE!”

- Ranboo insists again. Just a couple years. He asks what he has to do. Sam says there’s nothing he can do that would make him put Ranboo in the prison.

- Ranboo tells him there are 93 reasons why, and there could be hundreds. Thousands.

- What if he paid Sam? Sam says no, that Ranboo’s a good person.

Ranboo: “I can’t tell you how wrong that is.”

Sam: “Ranboo I can’t put you in the prison, you wouldn’t be able to go see Michael anymore. What would Tubbo do? And Foolish is building you a house right now.”

Ranboo: “Exactly why I want to be put in there, Sam.”

- What if Ranboo put himself in the prison? Sam says he can’t. He wouldn’t lock Ranboo in there for things he only imagined he did.

- Sam draws his sword and tells Ranboo to go home.

Ranboo: “Are you gonna kill me?”

Sam: “I don’t want to. I don’t think I’ll have to. I think you should just go home.”

- Ranboo and Sam say some parting words.

Ranboo: “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

Sam: “Listen to me. You are a good person.”

Ranboo: “I am?”

Sam: “Yes, you are.”

Ranboo: “I don’t think so, Sam.”

Sam: “I do, even if you don’t.”

- Ranboo leaves.

“I know what I need to do. I’m not gonna get put in there...and I at least need answers. I need answers. I need answers right now. I need to go. I need answers, and I know who can give me answers. I know who can give me answers...”

“I have to go. I have to go to the one person I know who can give me answers in regards to this...okay. I know where to go, I know what to do. It’s dangerous, hard journey, but, I know what to do. I -- I shouldn’t have done anything. I shouldn’t have done anything! ‘Cause it was fine! But then my curiosity got the best of me and now -- now there are 93--94--90 -- there are so many reasons! That I don’t wanna know, I don’t wanna remember anymore!”

“But...I’ve opened up Pandora’s Box. I’ve opened up Pandora’s Box...and I don’t know what to do. ‘Cause instead of closing it...there’s no way to close it."

- Ranboo returns to the Arctic. 

“The way that the Enderwalk works is something that I’ve been trying to figure out for a long time. But I know what can help me.”

- He enters his house and starts brewing splash water bottles.

“If I can’t get answers from anyone else...then I know the one thing that can give me answers.”

- Ranboo writes in his Memory Book: What am I?

“The one thing that can give me answers...is myself.”

- He throws down the water bottle and the screen goes black as the Enderman noises sound.

SEE YOU SOON.

- Hannah fixes up her house, making it pink again.

---

Upcoming Events:

- The Red Banquet (Sunday)

- Dream SMP one-year anniversary (Saturday)

- Tommy’s plan

- Quackity’s business opening

- Dream’s lore video

[bubblytarts]

What if...

*NONE OF THIS IS CANON. I JUST THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A COOL CONCEPT FOR TALES. IF ANY OF THIS BECOMES CANON, I EXPECT KARL JACOBS HIMSELF TO GIVE ME A SHOUTOUT*

You’re watching Tales from the SMP on Tuesday. You can’t wait to see what all the secrets are that Karl has teased lore-wise. The stream begins. Karl is super excited to show chat what he’s come up with, and the stream begins.

The build is massive, and incredibly detailed. You already know that the theorists are going to have a field day with all the little details.

You meet the players. Some are playing original characters, while there are some familiar faces as well. Ranboo, Tubbo, Fundy, and Quackity are all playing original characters. Bad appears to be playing himself, but he’s acting off. 

All of them have slightly altered skins. Time has obviously passed, as they all look a bit older, a bit more weary.

You’re waiting to see the two new players that Karl had teased. One decides then to make his appearance. It’s Philza. He’s playing himself. His skin is unchanged. Karl chooses not to comment on this. Phil mentions that Karl has been missing for years. Karl manages to change the subject. 

The second new player is not revealed yet.

The story seems to be a play on Phasmophobia. Whatever ghost is haunting the place is aggressive towards the characters, but not enough to ever truly harm them. 

Bad, however, continues to act strange. The characters don’t notice the increasing amounts of crimson blocks in the area. Chat, however, does.

The players solve enough puzzles to continue into the heart of the mansion, and they come face to face with the skull room from Karl’s screenshot. 

Waiting in the room, is Wilbur. 

More accurately, Wilbur, playing Alivebur. 

Karl is rightfully shocked, and chat is exploding. You’re shaking. Bad and Phil don’t seem too surprised to see Wilbur, while the original characters don’t seem to know who he is. 

You listen as Wilbur vaguely explains that he was resurrected, but you don’t have enough details to really understand how. Tumblr is already blowing up. 

Bad then vaguely references the Egg. Karl finally notices the crimson. He’s not pleased. Bad tries to attack Karl, but the others protect him, and Bad is forced to step back.

The overall story of what happened in the past few years is full of holes that Wilbur, Phil, and Bad won’t answer. The original characters don’t seem to know anything about the SMP, Disc Wars, or the Egg. It’s lightly implied that since Ranboo, Tubbo, Fundy, and Quackity aren’t playing themselves, that they must have died, or been otherwise out of contact with Phil and Bad. 

Chat mentions that it’s eerily similar to how little everyone knew about the Disc Wars in Mizu. The only other information that is given is that at some point, Dream broke out of prison. This is brushed off far too fast for anyone’s comfort. 

Karl accuses Wilbur of trying to kill them, but Wilbur is confused. He didn’t know they were here. 

Chat starts to spam Dream and Techno’s names, but the clues Phil and Bad give point to someone else. 

Phil tells the story of Dream breaking out of prison, and how many went to stop him and take his last life. It’s implied that Tommy and possibly Tubbo both died this way. 

Phil mentions at the end of the story how everyone who tried, died once and gave up. Except for one. There was one person who lost all three lives to Dream, because they wouldn’t give up.

Karl is confused, but chat figured it out since you all found out Dream escaped. Someone was missing.

Someone calls Karl’s name, and he turns around. Sapnap stands there, with a skin similar to his normal one, but with the same muted colors that Wilbur had when he became Ghostbur. 

Ghostnap was responsible for the injuries to the players. He was trying to get them out before anyone discovered they were at the mansion.

Before there can even be a proper emotional scene, the sounds of TNT go off outside the room. The door explodes, and Dream walks in wearing full enchanted netherite. He’s playing himself.  

Ghostnap yells for Karl to follow him. Karl does immediately, and chat is left to wonder the fates of the other characters. That is, until messages pop up in the game chat:

Quackity was slain by BadBoyHalo

BadBoyHalo was slain by Ph1LzA

Ranboo was slain by Dream using Nightmare

ItsFundy hit the ground too hard trying to escape Dream

Tubbo_ was slain by Dream using Axe of Peace

The messages end after that. The use of the Axe of Peace is not lost on chat. The implications are not good. 

As far as you know, Wilbur and Phil survive. They continue to yell in the voice chat before abruptly cutting out. However, the game chat doesn’t say that they died or left the game. 

Ghostnap leads Karl to a nether portal. Karl tries to ask him how he can help, and admits that he’s a time traveller, since Sapnap in the past won’t remember this. He also makes an off-hand quip about his memory loss.

Ghostnap doesn’t know if Karl even can fix the story. But he encourages him to try. But not at the cost of himself. He begs Karl to promise him that he’ll talk to someone in the present about the Tales so that they can help him. Karl tells him that he will.

Chat points out that Karl doesn’t promise. 

Dream appears at the end of the hallway, stares for a few seconds, then starts sprinting towards them. Karl goes into the portal, and his face cam turns off.

The pre-filmed section of the Inbetween begins. Karl appears in the nether portal in the Inbetween shown in the Twitter screenshot. Karl’s hair is beginning to turn white. The Inbetween repeats its calming messages again. 

There are several Karls running around, but it seems to be a fewer number than the last time. 

There is a secret room that Karl discovers when he presses the pressure plate. It leads him to another hallway. There is one main hallway, brightly lit, and there are several smaller, darker tunnels branching off of it. It’s impossible to see what lies down the tunnels.

Don’t stray from the path, chat helpfully reminds.

Karl walks down the main path. There is a wither rose at the end of the path.

As he walks past the tunnels, just over the music, there seem to be voices. Chat can’t agree on who the voices sound like. They are all different. But there are a few recognizable ones. Chat yells Ranboo, Sir Billiam, Wilbur, Crops, James, Jack Kanoff, Tubbo, Ranbob, Bad, Liaria, Ghostnap, Dream. 

They yell quotes ripped from the audio of previous Tales. Karl turns towards each of the tunnels, but always continues after a moment.

The voices grow more persistent. They start to say things that you don’t recognize. This is original audio now. The eerie piano has stopped. They are whispering not to stray from the path. For Karl to run. For Karl to come back. To remember. To forget.

Karl is running now. The voices are only yelling KARL KARL KARL over and over, never in unison, causing an overwhelming amount of whisper-yells.

There is a book under the wither rose. The moment that Karl grabs it, the voices silence. He looks back down the path, but nothing is there. He opens the book. 

The title is The Path.

Karl opens it.

I’m proud of you. You didn’t stray from the path. Now we can work together to help you regain your memory and protect your friends.

Karl puts the book back without reading the other pages. There’s a single whisper behind him, and he whips around. Nothing is there.

Karl stands in front of one of the tunnels. There’s a weak light far down the tunnel. Without warning, Karl sprints down the tunnel. Eventually, it opens up into a small room.

There’s a red rose in a pot. There’s a book underneath. Karl picks it up. The title is Thank You

Thank you. Now you can work towards save them. Don’t listen to anything they tell you. I want to help you. They don’t. 

The next page - the last page - reads: 

Are you ready to begin?

The screen goes black, and the end credits play.

While Turn Back Time by Derivakat plays, you go on Twitter.

Sapnap has tweeted “Boo!”

[reneesi]

i never would have thought // CH.01

CH.01 II a bit of a predicament

WRITTEN PORTION

A/N: Just for clarification the Written Portion is just extra content. If you don’t feel like reading and are only here for the SM crack the WP can always be skipped since it is additional content that is not vital for following along with the story. Anyways, enjoy :)!

(Y/n)’s breath caught, watching in quiet agony as her phone screen flickered off which indicated the end of her device’s battery. The warm summer air enveloped her in a state of weary comfort as (Y/n) sighed, looking up at the lightly clouded night sky. The stars shone in bright patches of half constellations, and in an attempt to gather her bearings (Y/n) had come to a halt and began to study the night sky. She cursed inwardly as she began to walk once more, finally realizing that maybe she should have taken Shoyo’s help, but also noting that it was a little late for such things as her phone was now dead and she was still very very lost.

Coming to another four way intersection (Y/n) shrugged and took a right, deciding that if it turned out to be another dead end she would simply lay down on the concrete and pass away quietly. Slowly, (Y/n) made her way through the narrow street keeping alert while also stifling her paranoia in an effort to stay calm. This however didn’t last, since as soon as the tall wall of neat white bricks came into view (Y/n) had no choice but to let lout a loud, exasperated groan. Dragging her feet in disappointment, she walked up to the cursed Wall of Shame and pressed her forehead into its hardened surface, staring down at the ground beneath her.

“What am i gonna do..” She mumbled, the dread of facing the team after this embarrassing little adventure of “individuality” and “freedom” filling her chest. I mean sure it’s not like they were gonna yell at her, hell she’d be surprised if anyone even reprimanded her given that they generally just tried protecting her for the most part but still. (Y/n) had still gotten lost, she was still irresponsible, irrational and now if she tried to explain how her so desired independence was well deserved no one was going to believe her... Given that she couldn’t even be trusted to walk herself from point a to point b. In her defense she was new to the area but not that new if she was being honest and-

“Boo.”

(Y/n) screamed. And not just a little scream, more of a “I’m about to be killed by an ax murderer with a bloody mask” kind of scream. In other words she almost peed herself. Turning with a clumsy thrash, (Y/n) pushed whatever the fuck had just placed a hand on her shoulder away, pressing her back against the cursed Wall of Shame and thankfully placing a couple feet between herself and the attacker.

Clutching onto her bravery, (Y/n) opened her eyes, allowing them to adjust to the darkness of the alleyway that had previously been behind her. She hadn’t noticed before but due to the buildings and houses the moonlight was only able to shine down at the end of the alleyway and onto the cursed Wall of Shame, somehow managing to avoid the rest of the creepy path leading to its end where she now stood. She raised her fists as if to fight.

“Who’s there? What do you want?” She barked, squinting at the tall figure that was slowly coming into focus...

“T..TsukISHIMA?” She screamed, not as loud as the first time but loud none the less. Said Tsukishima stepped forward coming into the light with a shit eating grin spread from ear to ear. He looked down at the horrified and confused (Y/n) and did the only thing Tsukishima would do after scaring the shit out of Hinata Shoyo’s cousin, he burst into a fit of laughter.

(Y/n)’s expression fell as the realization that she had just gotten “pranked” by Tsukishima set in. She scowled up at him, throwing a punch at his arm as she pushed her way past him.

“You are such an aSSHOLE, Tsukishima!” (Y/n) growled, continuing her tread forward. She could hear Tsukishima‘s laughter die down into silence as he followed her out of the alley way, keeping his distance at least two feet behind.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to walk alone at night?” He asked, sounding almost annoyed. (Y/n) rolled her eyes.

“For your information i’m pretty sure i’m old enough to walk by myself. At ANY time of day.”

“Why do you have to be stubborn all the time?” Tsukishima sighed, boredom seeping through his words

“How can you even say that, it’s not like you’ve ever talked to me long enough to know that about me.” (Y/n) turned her head, throwing back a glare. Tsukishima only shrugged in response

“Dunno, it’s just pretty easy to tell.”

“Whatever... Why are you still following me?” (Y/n) stopped, turning to face Tsukishima.

“Because your phone is dead and you have no idea where you are...” Tsukishima’s eyes stayed glued to the sky as he spoke, head leaned back into his palms which where being held up behind his head in a sort of laid back stretch. “And also because if i show up to dinner without you Daichi might actually kill me.”

Tsukishima made brief eye contact as he delivered his final sentence, catching (Y/n) off guard as she’d been unknowingly staring up at him the entire time he’d been speaking. Both teens quickly looked away, matching hues of red and pink barley coating their cheeks.

(Y/n) considered denying his offer, thinking of the dignity she had yet to sacrifice. Maybe she was close? And maybe if she just kept going a little longer she’d still be able to make it on her own! (Y/n) looked around again, trying to pick up something remotely familiar, but failed.. for the hundredth time that night.

“Fine. I’ll let you lead the way..” (Y/n) mumbled, crossing her arms across her chest “But only if you promise not to tell them how ABSOLUTELY lost i was.”

Tsukishima had already turned and was walking the same way they’d come, hands now shoved into his pockets. He paused, still looking ahead.

“I’ll think about it.” (Y/n) couldn’t see his smirk, but goddamn it she knew it was there

“God, can’t you just do one nice thing for me one time!”

“And why would i do that?”

Because i’m asking you to!”

“Only if you say pretty please.”

“Are you fucKING KIDDIN-“

“Don’t be so loud, we’re in a neighborhood and people are trying to sleep.” Taukishima yawned, taking a right with the same calm easy steps.

“I’m already embarrassed enough..” (Y/n) growled “i don’t want EVERYONE thinking i’m incapable of taking care of myself.”

“No one thinks that, we just worry because...” Tsukishima paused. Had she heard him right? Did (Y/n) really just hear tHE Tsukishima Kei, the boy who never had even bothered to say a simple hello or pay her a moments glance just say he worried about HER? Had he been paying attention this whole time? I mean sure he liked to pick on her and mess with her from time to time but that was just his nature, it’s not like they’d shared a single moment of friendliness during the 3 months that (Y/n) had been at Karasuno..

“They care about you.” Tsukishima finished, clearing his throat. (Y/n) stared at the back of his head unsure what to make of the (maybe?) friendly words he’d shared, and even more confused by the sinking feeling of disappointment plaguing her stomach. Tsukishima had said “they” cared for her, himself not included.

The restaurants light gleamed in the distance, signaling the end of (Y/n)’s first, and so far only, one on one conversation with Tsukishima and somehow, she was disappointed. It’s not like she actually hated him, and sure maybe they didn’t particularly get along but (Y/n) still wanted to be friends. Maybe not best friends but being rejected by the people closest to her had definitely left an endless hole that craved the approval of everyone she met. Unfortunately, Tsukishima was no exception. (Y/n)’s gaze had fallen to her feet, and as she recounted the last 15 minutes the shame only deepened her stare.

“Sorry for getting so aggressive, i was just mad at myself for getting lost and defensive and i shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” (Y/n) muttered, keeping her voice low as to maintain a steady tone.

Tsukishima stumbled, caught off guard by the sudden apology, but he didn’t reply. At least not right away. The two walked for another couple minutes, heavy silence wedging itself into the already existing physical gap that separated the two. But, once they finally reached the entrance of the restaurant that space evaporated as (Y/n) caught up, moving to stand behind Tsukishima who was blocking the door. He had paused, hesitating to walk inside.

“I’ll keep your secret.” Tsukishima finally said, tone stiff and unfamiliar. With that he ducked inside, followed by a somewhat surprised somewhat relived (Y/n). Both were met by a sea of screaming team mates, but only (Y/n) was tackled. Nishinoya and Tanaka clung to her on either side blubbering on about how worried they’d been for their “baby girl.”

(Y/n) giggled

“Guys guys come one, it’s not like i almost died.”

“YoU ALMOST DIED?!!” Hinata Shoyo, who had just returned from the restroom, stood only a couple feet away gaping at his cousin.

“God this is why i CaNT TRUST YOU TO BE BY YOURSELF! SuGAWARA TELL (Y/N) sHEs gRoUNDED FOR A MONTH!” Shoyo screamed, shaking Sugawara by the shoulders

“Hey that’s not fair!” (Y/n) argued, prying herself from the clutches of her upperclassmen and approaching the table. She took her seat and continued to argue, yelling across the table and recounting the last  hour or so with a couple of fudged details. Within minutes her team mates had joined along and were pulled into a full blown discussion over the validity of (Y/n)’s story, laughing along as the Hinata’s pulled at either side of Suga, begging him to take a side. After some time the conversation shifted to the upcoming training camp and exited chatter filled the air as the team recounted old memories and cracked a couple jokes. (Y/n) smiled, looking around the table and suddenly remembered Tsukishima’s kind gesture. She glanced over at him, and caught him mid chuckle as he watched Hinata tell one of his loud sound effect stories. Her heart surged, finally after all this time (Y/n) was starting to feel like maybe she could actually belong.

previous I next

MASTERLIST

[wilburzgutz-inactive]

okay it's 3am and my brain just woke up so here's how i think the dream smp will end;

Dream has escaped prison, but almost everyone is quickly notified by a distressed sam. Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo know what to do. I mean they've been preparing for this for the longest right. After getting the general location Dream might be in they set off to kill the escaped prisoner, leaving someone trusted with Michael just in case (probably foolish but who knows).

A very defenceless Dream is met by three of his many victims, decked out with enchanted netherite...everything. They beat him until hes extremely low. At that point tubbo and ranboo let tommy finish him off, watching as he yells and swings his sword (at misses lol) at a bloody beaten down dream who's on the ground and trying to get away (or in the game, crouching and backing away)

"THERES NOTHING MORE I WANT THAN YOU DEAD YOU FUCKIN BASTARD" Tommy yells, pulling his axe from his inventory. He wants dreams final death to be as painful as possible. Tubbo and Ranboo ready their weapons just in case. "TOMMY. TOMMY WAIT" Dream yells, very desperate, "THERES SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KNOW. BEFORE YOU KILL ME"

Tommy, for some reason, stops. not very willing to hear him out at first, but as he thinks is through he huffs "Talk. Now. You have five fucken minutes before your brains are covering this fucken ground"

"The book, Tommy," Dream huffs out, "The revival book wasnt just a revival book". Dream was being too vague and Tommy was getting impatient.

"What im trying to say, Tommy, is.. this place... this server..this world " Dream approaches Tommy and Tommy backs up. It's not like Dream could hurt him but it was his first reaction.

"Its not real"

"Nothing is real. No one here is real. Im not real. You're not real, Tommy!"

Tommy's steps back again, "W..whatre you on about you maniac?!"

"Its all a dream, Tommy"

The area around Tommy and Dream fade to black. Tommy looks down (his character in game would) after.

"Wake up"

Tommys character quickly looks back up but it transitions to cc!tommy looking into his face cam. The camera angle changes to next to him and cc!tommy looks around and at his blank screen. Confused, Tommy gets up from his chair and starts packing things up/putting things away/etc. The camera angle changes multiple times during this, showing him unplugging his pc, throwing multiple things that reference previous seasons of the dsmp into a bag, etc.

The final camera angle in the room is behind him, with a bag slung over his shoulder he looks inside his room one last time "It wasnt a pleasure being with everyone, but it was somewhat fun". Tommy turns off the light and closes the door. He turns around to leave and what is seen infront of him was..unnerving to say the least?

It was dream. Mask and all. Dream leans forward and moves his mask aside, revealing a horrifying, absolutely fucked face.

"Boo"

Tommy's breath hitches and it transitions to tommys person looking up, tommy breathing heavily. "Tommy? Tommy??" A voice from besides him calls out. It's a familiar voice. Its wilbur. "Tommy?? Did you fall asleep or something? This is rather important stuff" Wilbur said, gesturing to a blueprint.

Tommy looks around, breathing somewhat normally now. They were in a forest outside of the...the drug van? Tommy was sitting under a tree while wilbur was pacing (is that how you spell it idk) back and forth with a now slighty balled up blueprint in hand. "Hello? are you listening now?!" wilbur asked, a bit frustrated. "Uhm.." Tommy looked around one last time, still shaken up, "Yeah, Im listening now".

"Good. Now-" Wilbur started talking again and continued pacing back and forth a few feet infront of Tommy. Wilbur was immediately tuned out again.

Maybe it was all a dream.

why'd i just write a fanfic. anyways does this make sense akshkssuwhs it's now 4.03am so this definitely took a bit. yeah just an idea ig

i’m not really sure how to react to this if i’m honest anon

[fereality-indy]

Wendip Week 2017 Fake Relationship

Fake Relationship

June 12th, 2015 Pines Residence Piedmont, California

Dipper say with his back against his wall while his laptop rested on a laptray he bought for Just that reason. He’s animatedly talking to his red headed best friend over Yipe.

“I know you & Paz were planning were planning on coming down next week, but we’ve hit a snag. Mom and Dad found out that Mabel and Pacifica are more than just friends. So they’re saying it wouldn’t be fair to me to allow her girlfriend to come down if I’ll be all alone.” He said with a slight forlorn look.

Wendy’s demeanor didn’t seem to be that much better as she called back over the screen, “Boo. That sucks man. What’s up with that? Wait a minute, when did Mabs and Paz hook up?”

“Last one first,” Dipper replied as he shifted uncomfortably. He really tried to not think too much about Mabel’s romances after she had agreed to go on a date with Chutzpar’s visiting nephew last year. “From what Mabel told me it happened during the going away party last year. Remember when we went up to your spot to watch the evening sky. Well apparently Paz told Mabel she had one more gift for her and told her she wanted to give it to her in private. I had some suspicions when we left, they hugged almost twice as long at the bus than they used to do. But I found out for certain when I accidentally walked in on one of their Yipe conversations.”

Wendy was nearly cracking up over how uncomfortable Dipper looked. “Ah man, you didn’t walk in on them flashing each other did you?”

“No. No, nothing like that.” Dipper’s face cringed at the thought. “No they were just talking about missing each other and Mabel was going on about the kiss and the ones to come. Like I said I had my suspicions, Mabel Hadn’t asked a single guy out this school year and even turned down a couple who asked her.”

“Alright, enough about that” Wendy saId as she pulled her hair back into a pony tail. She was preparing for bed as they talked, she had an early and long day tomorrow as she promised Soos she would work doubles until she left for Piedmont. And now it may not happen. “What’s up with your mom not letting us come down?”

“Mom’s on a ‘Twins need to do everything together’ kick,” Dipper said as he got up and started to get ready himself. with the computer facing away from him, he changed into an A shirt and some flannel patterned sleep shorts. “since she says that we’re going to be split thanks to college in a couple years. So she doesn’t want me to feel left out when Mabcifica goes out on a date.”

Dipper checked himself to make sure he would be decent before he sat back down. “Heck the only way mom would let Paz come down to visit after we found out we wouldn’t be able to make it to Gravity Falls this year is cause I had a friend,” he pointed at Wendy, “who would also want to come down to visit.”

“So it’s not that she doesn’t want Mabel’s girlfriend to come down, she just doesn’t want you to be lonely while they’re doing relationship stuff?” Wendy asked as she began to think about situation.

“That’s about the gist of it.” Dipper said in reply.

Wendy sat there for a moment scratching her chin, before a smile creeped across her face. “Well then we just need to be dating.”

Dipper’s face dropped in shock, “W, w, wait what?”

Wendy snickered at his awkwardness. “Think about it man. All we’ll be doing is hanging like we had planned to do anyways, just your rents will think we’re a couple. It’s perfect. Unless you already have a girl you haven’t told me about.”

Dipper missed the brief flash of concern on Wendy’s face as she added that last bit. As he processed what Wendy was proposing, Dipper’s mind was creating and shooting down arguments as to why this could and couldn’t work. Finally he replied, “No, not girlfriend here. Still batting a negative one thousand.” And under his breath he added “Then again I’ve only asked out one girl.”

“Huh, what was that? ” Wendy asked with a slightly confused look on her face.

“Oh nothing. What about you? No boyfriends I have to worry about being jealous, is there?” Dipper asked, a little worried about the answer even though he had no right to be. She was just his best friend and that was all she ever would be.

“Nah man, free as a bird.” an replied trying to ignore the the voice in the back of her head that was telling her why she was still single.

“Really? I mean there’s no one smart enough to ask you out?” he asked incredulously.

“Oh, I had people asking me out. But they all seemed to act as if I was a trophy to be won and not a person.” Wendy responded with a shrug before she added under her breath, “Besides I have someone I’m waiting to ask me.”

“So, how are we going to do this?” Dipper asked

“We just…” and they spent the rest of the night working out all of the details for the plan

The following morning Dipper informed his family that he and Wendy were actually dating, the only reason that they hadn’t said anything before now was that they were worried about what people would say about the age difference.

Friday June 19th, 2015 Oakland International Airport

Dipper began to slowly pace around the little private terminal awaiting the arrival of his friends. Some how Pacifica had been able get them aboard the company jet for the trip. The company had taken an upturn after a couple of different instances in the the years following Weirdmageddon. The first being several designs (suggested at first and later commissioned) bt the now girlfriend of the owner’s daughter. And secondly there was a slow purchase of a controlling interest in the company but an anonymous purchaser who only operates through an attorney. Slowly the older yes men of Preston Northwest have been getting replaced on the board of directors. But that is a story for another day.

Finally the announcement that the flight had landed was made. According to plan Dipper stayed back slightly behind his parents and sister. He watched as the blonde heiress came into the terminal carrying a shoulder bag and pulling a suitcase almost as big as her five foot six inch frame. He wondered if she had packed to move here instead of just staying for a couple of weeks. She had barely set her bags down with she was glomped upon by Mabel.

He had barely had time to register that when he heard a loud thud and a blur of green and red rushed towards him. He heard her yell “Dude” as she hefted him up in a hug. Even at five foot eleven inches he was still short of her six foot three inch height but he was getting there. With her back towards his parents, he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek as part of their ruse. They were both blushing at the contact.

“Good to see you princess,” Dipper said as she placed him back on the ground.

“Princess?” Wendy asked with a bemused look on her face.

“Well you are the lumberjack princess of Roadkill County, Oregon.” He said as he pulled away. Then he whispered “Besides I figured a pet name wouldn’t hurt for the two weeks.”

“Alright my 'lil Dork’,” Wendy said with a wink and a smirk, cementing the pet name she was gonna use for him.

She then took his hand and turned to walk towards his family. They got there just as Mabel, who was bouncing with joy (and three shots of extra concentrated Mabel-juice), had finished introducing Pacifica to their parents.

“Mom, Dad, I’d like to introduce my girlfriend Wendy Corduroy.” Dipper said as presented Wendy to his parents.

“Pleased to meet you, sir.” Wendy said as she shook Mr. Pines offered hand before doing the same to Mrs. Pines. “Ma'am.”

“Please,” Mr Pines replied as he looked between the two visiting girls, “Like we told Pacifica here, call us Adam and Elaine.”

“The way the twins talk about the two of you,” Elaine Pines added without missing a beat, “we feel like we already know the two of you.”

Both girls smiled at such a warm reception.

“Well Dipper, my boy. Let’s get these ladies luggage on out to the car so we can get going.” Mr Pines said as he walked over to Pacifica’s bags. He got the shoulder bag with no problem but upon trying to get the rolling suitcase it almost pulled him off of his feet. Bracing it against his shoulder he finally got it going and headed to the door amidst giggling from Mabel, Pacifica, and even Elaine.

Meanwhile Dipper had made his way over to where Wendy had dropped her bags. He grabbed her two duffel bags but as he went to grab her rucksack He felt Wendy’s hand already on it.

“Look dude, I heard what your dad said and I know how much of a gentleman you are but sometimes a lady wants to carry her own stuff. Especially when it has my baby in it,” she said as she moved a flap enough that he saw the handle of her ax. Closing the flap she hefted the rucksack up onto her back and took hold of his closest hand, holding the duffel with him.

As they walked through the doors Wendy stopped at the sight that awaited them.

“Is that a WV Überkreuzung Microbus?” she asked as she stared majestically at it.

“Yep. It’s a Seventy-One. It’s dad’s pride and joy, after me and Mabel that is. He fell in love with the design after one was used in the old 'Whatcha doing, Lookie Loo?’ cartoon and when one came on the market a couple of years ago he snatched it up. Luckily mom was able to talk him out of giving it the paint job for the show.” Dipper said as he looked over at the joy on her face, “With all the seats in it’d fit ten or eleven. Almost everything is either stock or restored to original spects. Well except for adding the seatbelts and the engine. It’s a Grunkle Ford and McGuket special. We could drive from here to Denver and back on a single tank of gas. Ford is trying to talk Stan into putting one in the Stanley Mobil, but he doesn’t trust it.”

Wendy turned towards him as she released his hand. she grabbed him by the shoulders as she said, “Please tell me you’re gonna inherit it.”

With a smile and a chuckle he said “Maybe.” as he led her to back of the van and loaded the luggage before shutting the hatch.

They ended up eating at Madam Kee’s House All You Can Eat Buffet. Pacifica at sceptical at first but after talking in Mandarin with the owner.

Over the next couple of days Dipper showed Wendy around Piedmont, spent a day at a fun complex with Mabel and Pacifica playing minigolf and going go-carting, had a picnic lunch at the park (where he nearly got into a fight with Jimmy Riva until Wendy intervened), tried to sit through an episode of 'Rink Of Love’ (an anime Mabel and Pacifica both were fans of, Wendy and Dipper left to go for a walk half way through the episode), and tonight is bad movie night.

They were watching 'Hello Daddy, Where’s Mummy?’, and in keeping with the subterfuge Wendy was leaning into his shoulder while he had his arm around her. Mabel and Pacifica stayed through the first part of the movie, but lost interest in part due to the running commentary coming from them.

About twenty minutes or so after the others left Wendy leaned forward and grabbed her can of Mr Tubbs Root Beer. She then snuggled right back into the spot she left. As she got comfortable she sighed to herself, “I could get used to this.”

Without thinking Dipper kissd the top of her head. She turned slowly moved towards him.

“Wendy?” he questioned as he got lost in her forest green eyes.

“Dipper, don’t question it.” she said as she leaned forward and placed her lips upon his.

“What’s happening here?” Dipper asked as he was coming up for air after the kiss.

“Nothing that we apparently didn’t want to happen.” Wendy replied as she looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel as…” he started before she placed a finger on his lips.

“Don’t over think this dork. I want this and I want you. now shut up and kiss me.” Wendy said before he did just that.

After a couple of minutes of making up for lost time they heard a loud “Ahem.” They broke apart and looked at the direction the noise came from. Standing in the doorway was Mabel and Pacifica. Mabel looked ecstatic, while Pacifica seemed to have a look on her face that said 'finally’.

“Well it looks like they have stopped pretending,” Pacifica stated with a smirk as she watched the new couple pull apart.

“What do you mean pretending?” Dipper sputtered out, “We’ve been dating for as long as you two have.”

“Bro-bro, seriously. You’re not that good of an actor.” Mabel said as she lifted a hand up to stop him. “The only reason you were able to fool those outside of this household is because of how you two actually felt about each other.”

“Wait a minute Mabel.” Wendy said as she looked over at her two friends, “ You mean your parents know?”

“Oh course we do dear,” Elaine Pines replied as she walked up behind her daughter, “she came to me when she first put together this little matchmaking scheme. Though it surprised us all when Dipper came down last Saturday morning and told us you two were dating. Mabel was going to suggest that you two pretend to date so she could see her girlfriend. But you guys wanted to see each other so much that you came up with the idea on your own. That was when I first gave Mabel’s idea some credence.”

“So do I get to call it?” Mabel asked practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Well I’m willing to try it out if she is,” Dipper said as he looked at the beautiful woman in his arms, “So what do you say Wendy, would you like to try going out for real?”

“Of course man, I’ve just been waiting on you to ask.” Wendy said with a smirk as Dipper smiled.

“Squee,” Mabel squeed before with a fistpump she called out, “Match Made!”

“Alright Mabel, but do us a favor please. We just figured this all out, so please for now don’t tell anyone.” Wendy asked her new boyfriend’s sister.

“Ok.” Mabel said as she started to walk away.

“And that means Candy and Grenda too.” Dipper called after his sister.

“My girls need to know, bro-bro. Heh, that rhymes.” she called back.

“Mabel!” Dipper and Wendy yelled simultaneously.

“Alright I’ll keep quiet for now.” Mabel said as she headed away with Pacifica in tow.

“Well I’ll leave you two to your movie. Don’t do anything to make me regret leaving you two alone.” Elaine Pines said as she headed back towards the kitchen.

After they were alone Wendy looked deep into Dipper’s eyes and only saw love. “Why don’t we continue where we left off.”

And she leaned in for another kiss as the movie continued on.

[allisonm22]

95 Thoughts I Had During the PLL Finale

 If its not already obvious, spoilers below.

1) What the hell is this scene? 2) I think this is a dream, why is there no one else around 3) Jennas on a horse, dream theory confirmed 4) Off to a weird start already 5) Hannah is too nice, Mona tried to kill you honey, let that friendship die 6) Caleb won’t say hi? Thats super fucking shady baby please don’t be A.D. 7) oh fuck is that Melissa?  8) JK its mona..wait why is she even wearing a mask?  9) If I were Aria, I’d be pissed as hell that Hannah brought Mona along, like kick her ass out? 10) Oh god Aria,stop crying, why cant you marry bae? Actually I dont even care. 11) Spencer that was a BOLD move...oh fuck that its for scrabble?! 12) How is Mona trying to act like she doesnt know who A is, didnt she see him/ her at Radley? Or are we supposed to just forget about that? 13) oooh no poor Aria sorry boo 14) Oh hey its mary drake 15) the spencer/ mary drake relationship annoys me to be honest 16) how did the cop not see them holding hands? 17) Ezra is fucking goals..except that time he was kind of A and writing a book about them behind their back. 18) Aria’s dad will forever creep me the fuck out  19) Alison and Em’s mom are being so obvious 20) Alison is deff gunna propose 21) Random thought I’ve had since 2010- Spencer’s mom (before that mary drake shit) looks like Olivia Benson 22) Why do they keep talking about Addison? Why are we supposed to care about her? Marlene don’t make her part of this I WILL FLIP. 23) The moms mentioned the basement! Are they going to tell us how they got out?!?! 24) Nope they are not 25) I’ve been hearing about their relationships since 2010, wrap it up and start talking about A.D.! 26) whyyyyy do they dress Alison so horribly? Like even her pajamas are horrendous 27) called that proposal 28) That ring is so pretty!!! 29)”How much damage can she do in one night” FORESHADOWING!!!!!!!!!! 30) any scene with a naked toby is a gift, I'm about it 31) Toby’s hair looks so soft 32) Who the fuck is playing the piano 33) ohhhh fuck its Mona, im not shocked though 34) Im getting vibes that someone is going to die 35) whaaaaaaat the fuckkkkkk is this place 36) whats happening 37) oh fuck how’d mary get out? I never know how to feel about her 38) DO NOT TELL ME SPENCER HAS A BRITISH TWIN 39) DO NOT TELL ME THAT 40) her british accent is horrendous 41) WREN! 42) Are they trying to pull a parent trap on PLL 43) omg all those times it wasnt spencer! 44) Hannah wasnt sleeping! YO TOBY FUCKED FAKE SPENCER TWICE!  45) I knew i got weird vibes from that airport scene! 46) but why would she do all this if she didnt even know Charlotte? 47) “Till death do us part”...SIG-NIF-I-CANT (sung like Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec) 48) Isn’t Wren a fucking psychologist?! there were soooooo many red flags buddy and you missed them ALL 49) oh fuck she killed him and put him in a necklace...casual 50) Remember when Marlene King lied and said they werent going to copy the books? 51) Well actually I take it back she didnt technically lie, she gave us not one but three sets of twins 52) going off track for a second, twins skip a generation so super unlikely that mary drake would have twins 53) also like why couldnt they mention Ali was having twins? im not understanding the twin obsession 54) Back on track...OH FUCK THEYRE WREN’S BABIES 55) Why cant mary help her? thats your daughter bitch! 56) yo Mary literaly sold Alex, I know she didnt have a choice really but thats fucked upppppp. 57) A.D.-Alex Drake....I literally just got that 58) Spencer I wouldve knocked mary out and RAN 59) why does she have bae/Ezra? like what is the point? 60) Rollins looks like Keanu Reeves 61) seriously why is Cece dressed like a fucking pimp 62) wait they just explained like five years worth of plot in five seconds and I can barely understand it because of THAT SHIT ACCENT! 63) honestly them explaining how  jenna/sara/sydney are involed so quickly shows how bad this ending really is 64) Toby is gunna figure it out with the horse doesnt like her!!! 65) Horses always know wtf is up 66) Jennas gunna sniff her out 67) Evil twin is such a big leap to make based off a person smelling weird 68) I feel like that whole squad accepted the evil twin theory too quickly like if someone came up to me and was like hey our best friend smells different I think shes being held hostage and the one walking around is actually her evil twin, I would be like ..............what 69) Mona’s a double agent! I think? another one im never sure about 70) Yay theyre out run babies run! 71) why the fuck would you split up have you people learned nothing 72) whaaaaaat, thats not real theyre not actually outside right? 73) I feel like I’m watching Lost honestly 74) Alex walking around with that axe though is my forever mood honestly 75) DONT YOU FUCKING DARE KILL EZRA 76) WAIT WHOSE WHO 77) OHHHH FUCK DONT SHOOT THE WRONG ONE! 78) He shouldve shot Alex fuck that she helped mary escape jail she could easily escape 79) Arias second wedding dress- SO much better 80) oh fuck you marlene king with your cameo shush yourself right off my screen 81) Mona sells dolls in france.....cool cool cool (not cool) 82) deff the creepiest thing ive ever seen in my life 83) oh wait just kidding now its the creepiest thing ive ever seen 84) so Mona’s just full blown psychotic, weve known that since season two thanks for the well written plot twist 85) Dont tell me Addisons about to go missing for a spin off 86) lol addison went missing for a spin off 87) nope sorry im out, i cant invest any more time into another marlene king shit show 88) lemme save you time babies, you better hope addison is dead, cause if not, youre in for a fucking roller coaster of a life 89) in conclusion, im SUPER PISSED jason didnt come back because i looooooved me some jason eye candy 90) I hate that this whole plot was orchestrated by an new character whose only motivation was that she was friends with cece. 91) why did everyone love cece?! she was so fucking shitty like the fuck? 92) I wanted it to be this intricate theory that theyve been planning for years, I really wanted it to be someone weve seen for the past seven years, someone in the background we wouldnt have even thought twice about, that wouldve had alot more shock value 93) also giving it to a new character takes away the opportunity to link A.D. back the original plot for the first five years. I hate how it was essentially two different stories, it makes me feel like the first five years were a waste. 94) Im just dissapointed because i REALLY wanted them to redeem themselves after the Cece/Charlie shit show and they had so many opportunities to make it great and they continued to drop the ball. I  like the characters and their personal storylines though, thats the thing ill miss, not the fake reveals and actual reveals that make no sense. Im all about their character growth and personally loved watching them grow on and off screen. Its just a shame the storyline couldnt do them justice. 95) Lets not let Marlene King write anymore shows, K? K.

[carrera38rs]

The Monterey Incident

Saturday, August 18, 2019. A day that will live in infamy. Why beat around the bush, right? While all well-informed classic and collector fans have already heard about the debacle on the final evening of RM Sotheby’s Monterey, California auction, I’m finally weighing in. Why now, you may ask. Well, I have been busily cranking out marketing copy for my clients ever since my return from the Monterey Peninsula and as time permits, still trying to process all the camaraderie, events and fun of the jam-packed festival known as Monterey Car Week. Work doesn’t have to be all work and no play, does it? Thankfully, I’m blessed to combine both. Why discuss this situation in a public forum? Well, because this event still baffles me and many other observers on so many levels.

Time for full disclosure. I started my career in the collector-car world and copywriting in particular, with RM Auctions in early 2008. I remain grateful for my time at RM, where I learned my craft and gained incredible experience researching and writing auction-catalog descriptions of thousands of desirable and valuable collector cars. Eventually, all things must pass, in the wise words of George Harrison, and I was released from my service at RM during mid-July 2012, in a reshuffling a few months after my department head resigned from the company.

I knew that day would come sooner or later. In early 2009, I narrowly escaped being terminated along with 5-6 other poor souls, in a ruthless and teary auction-staff downsizing in the wake of the failed offering of a multi-million dollar ($10 million cost to be exact) 1963 Corvette Grand Sport at Scottsdale. The unsung workers were simply expendable pawns following this risky managerial gamble. The savings by the company in salaries paid amounted to nothing more than a small rounding error on the company balance sheet. Still, real people paid for a dubious boardroom decision they never made. Having said that, I truly have no axe to grind with RM today. Life goes on. However, the debacle that unfolded this year at Monterey does not surprise me and leaves me wondering about the future of my industry.  

I was not there in person at the RM Sotheby’s auction, other than taking in previews. However, dozens of videos postLapse ed online paint a clear picture of the silly and pointless proceedings. There, Alain Squindo, an RM Sotheby’s VP and my former department head, just stood at the podium and looked on blankly but with an almost imperceptible smirk during the confused bidding. He made no attempt to stop the train-wreck that unfolded when auctioneer Maarten Ten Holder started unwinding the Seventy-Million-Dollar bid posted for the car on the video screen in the saleroom – to confusion and boos from the spectators and bidders in the room. What really continues to baffle me and many auction watchers – including several in mainstream print, online media and high-profile podcasts – is how the prior 61 lots were handled professionally that night without any confusion, misunderstandings or language barriers and without any pronunciation and comprehension errors.

This point was most elegantly covered by journalist Hannah Elliott in her article penned for Bloomberg on August 18 – immediately after the RM Sotheby’s auction and with further insight and analysis on August 22. One key issue discussed by Ms. Elliott was how auctioneer Maarten Ten Holder – a polyglot fluent in several languages – could suddenly mispronounce “Thirteen,” “Fourteen,” and “Seventeen Million Dollars,” sounding as though he had bids of up to “Seventy Million Dollars.” Compounding this was the likely and highly questionable practice of announcing “Chandelier” or “Phantom” bids – both non-existent, misleading  and intended to flush out any real bidders with real money.

Another thing that baffles me is a chance meeting that I and a close friend had during pre-auction previews a couple of hours before the Porsche crossed the block. While we were taking pictures of, and with the sleek proto-Porsche, a twentysomething man wearing a “Luftgekühlt” T-shirt quietly intimated to us, “It will get to $17 million but won’t sell.” I did a double take and he repeated his prediction clearly and confidently. Now, it was clear he was a hard-core and well-informed Porsche enthusiast, but that night’s auction-block debacle played out precisely as he predicted. Was he a clairvoyant, just plain lucky with his prediction, or did he know something?

I do realize the car was shopped around privately for at least the past 20 years and its offering by RM was highly, perhaps over-promoted in the weeks preceding the auction, but come on. How can somebody make such a bold prediction without having some inside information? I should have asked him for stock-market tips, sports odds, the ponies, or his take on Bitcoin and the precise location of Jimmy Hoffa while I was at it. Me and my friend shrugged and moved on to previewing some other cars and then had a late lunch, all the while scratching our heads about the conversation we just had with the young Porsche enthusiast.

In addition to reading the many articles and watching the videos covering the Type 64’s botched offering,  I’ve been listening closely to the latest two editions of “Spike’s Car Radio,” the entertaining and well-informed podcast covering classic cars, events, comedy and life, hosted by Spike Feresten. Worthy of further listening, these podcast episodes included Hannah Elliott, Jerry Seinfeld and lawyer Paul Zuckerman. In the latest episode, Spike made the startling revelation that RM Sotheby’s may have sensed the Porsche would not sell on the auction stage at Monterey and decided to turn its offering into a sort of comedy act. He even stated that the auction house approached him to join in the antics. Thankfully, Mr. Feresten refused to take part in RM Sotheby’s ill-advised and frankly, cynical scheme.  

Overall, a picture emerges of auction houses trying to land exciting, news-worthy cars to offer and sell and of the intense competition for clients and the drive to be the best seller at each major venue. The latest “Spike’s Car Radio” podcast episode also included the contention I stated earlier, that the whole fiasco makes the collector-car industry look shabby by association.

The collector-car auction world is extremely interesting and yes, it generates significant sales. There are thousands of good, honest and ethical people who make it all happen and a few rotten eggs do unfortunately spoil the bunch. It will be very interesting to see what, if any, fallout comes from this sad – and in my opinion, totally preventable event. It also bears noting that other high-end auction houses do not seem to suffer from the many lapses in judgment that led RM Sotheby’s down this path at Monterey.

Many questions remain. Some of my friends and colleagues may disagree and that is their absolute right, but the farcical offering of such a significant and valuable piece of motoring history has indeed put a massive black eye on the collector-car auction industry. The industry I work in. The industry that to me is a calling and not just another job. And I do not believe for one second that the saleroom antics at RM Sotheby’s in Monterey can be attributed purely to human error or sophomoric humor. And unlike the junior staffers that walked in tears past my cubicle after they got sacked back in 2009, I am doubtful neither Messrs. Squindo nor Ten Holder will face any real consequences for their decisions. What they attempted to do on the auction block in Monterey was crass and totally unnecessary. They would certainly not last long in my employ.  

To me, this incident is the adult equivalent of being a young boy who once met one of his hockey-card heroes at an event during the mid-1970s, only to discover the man was all too human – a drunken, staggering, unemployable wreck who did not fully understand why he played professionally for so many years, earned so much money and had so many loving fans. Having earned and enjoyed a stellar reputation for so long, it is truly sad to see some of RM Sotheby’s top personnel stoop to this level. My honest hope is that the players involved in this current situation will sober up, smell the coffee brewing and realize – soon – that this type of corporate buffoonery is far less tolerable in the court of public opinion today than ever before. Not to mention the arrogance of their actions and their obvious contempt for sellers, buyers, spectators, and the general public. I can only guess at the fury yet to be unleashed by the car’s owner. Remember, people vote with their wallets and there are many other solid players to choose from for the big game.