#if i was really quiet i could hear clearly the neighbours talking through the kitchen vent

[tchaikovskym]

I get why you would not like your neighbors to be loud, but also like. Why would you constantly have to think about not talking too loud, not listening to the music too loud, not walking too loud, not cooking too loud, etc. That's tiring, and that's a pretty awful way to live. Life is loud sometimes, and we should let it be (unless it's bedtime).

[sp00kycrumpet]

Paradise. (7/10)

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x f!reader

Rating: E

Tags: Javi is baby, fluff, holiday romance, Nick Cage is Nick Cage, reader is bilingual

Warnings: swearing

Summary: Working as Nicholas Cage's personal assistant was your favourite job; so when he asked you to accompany him to Mallorca for this birthday party he'd been invited to, you were more than happy to go. What you didn't anticipate was the host himself.

Will also be posted on my AO3

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five)

(Part Six)

The safehouse was in a secluded part of town, quiet and no neighbours for miles around. Javi explained there was everything needed to escape in there, from disguises to passports. Everyone was quiet as they piled inside, you and Gabriela made tea for everyone to try and calm their nerves.

Javi explained where Lucas would have Addy, filling everyone in on what had really been happening and that it was all nothing to do with him. A plan was formulated to disguise Nick as some Italian family leader and have him just walk into Lucas's compound in broad daylight, get the girls and leave. Olivia was doubtful of the plan as she went through everything that was stashed there, pulling something together as you and Gabriela taught Nick a few basic Italian phrases. He didn't need to speak it fluently since Lucas didn't speak any Italian at all. You wouldn't leave until morning but you doubted anyone would sleep.

You stood in the kitchen, taking a moment to just be alone and try to think clearly. You could hear Nick and Olivia talking in the next room and Gabriela on the phone to someone. Your hands trembled as you rinsed out the mugs and placed them on the draining board. You leaned against the counter and let your head drop, your heart was pounding as anxiety washed over you in a heavy wave. Sure you'd seen things like this in movies a thousand times over, but to actually live it was terrifying and reminded you of your own mortality.

"Hey…" A soft voice burst your bubble of fear, bringing you back to earth as you realised a few tears had slid down your cheeks. You wiped your face with the back of your hand and turned to see Javi standing there. He looked a little nervous, like you'd lash out at him or something. But instead you just gave him a tired little smile.

"Javi. I thought you were still busy looking for the stuff for the morning." He shook his head, taking a tentative step towards you.

"It's all sorted and ready to go. You've been crying…" He paused as he noticed the shine on your cheeks. "Are you okay? Stupid question I guess." You took a shaky breath, shrugging a shoulder.

"It's… it's a lot to take in Javi. One moment I'm curled up in your beautiful home, watching movies and laughing with you, the next I'm running for my life and trying to save the life of a girl I've known for most of her life." Javi nodded, his hands rubbing together as he listened.

"I never wanted this life. I tried so hard to get away from it all but you can't just… do that. When my father passed, I thought I had an out by passing it all to Lucas but… he wouldn't have any of it." Javi looked like a lost little boy suddenly, the corners of his mouth tugging down slightly as he shifted his weight on his feet.

"I know. When Nick first told me he thought you were dangerous and the CIA wanted you, I just accused him of being jealous that you and I spent so much time together. I couldn't believe a word of it." That made him smile slightly, taking another step towards you as he reached out a hand. You watched him as you reached back and gently slid your hand into his. His fingers curled warmly around yours, his thumb gently running along your knuckles.

"Thank you for not just instantly believing the lies that were spread about me." You shrugged a little, watching your hands before looking up at his face, as expressive as always and showing his relief and happiness.

"I like to think I can read people, I didn't like Lucas the second I saw him." You admitted. Javi laughed a little.

"Are you okay though?" He asked after a moment, you just shrugged slightly.

"Scared. Nervous. Exhausted. It's heavy…" You mumbled, taking a shaky breath. Javi nodded, hesitating before taking that final step closer to wrap his arms around you in an attempt to soothe your nerves. You tucked yourself against his chest, finally letting go of his hand to wrap both arms around Javi's middle. You closed your eyes as he rested his chin gently against the top of your head. It did help calm your heart a little, you needed a hug and Javi seemed to know it without any prompt. You knew it didn't solve anything and was partially a little self indulgent, but it helped stop you panicking. The two of you stayed like that for a moment before eventually parting.

"Thank you Javi." You said softly, Javi smiling and squeezed your hand before leading you back to the living room where everyone else was. Nick asked you to go over the phrases a few more times with him while Javi and Gabriela gave what little information they had on Sergio Baldassari, the elusive Italian mafia head. Javi drew out a map so Olivia and Nick wouldn't get lost in the maze behind the walls.

Sitting outside of Lucas's compound, you hated the silence. It had been almost an hour and still nothing. Everyone was anxiously waiting for Nick and Olivia to come out of the back door you'd parked by. Javi paced the dirt path by the door while you and Gabriela sat in the truck.

"I don't like this." You muttered quietly to her, Gabriela nodding.

"We just have to trust them. Nick is a great actor, he'll fool Lucas, I'm sure of it." She gave you a small smile before turning her attention back to the door. You bounced your knee nervously, chewing your thumbnail as you tried to stop yourself overthinking and worrying about how you'd break the news to the rest of the world if Nick didn't make it out of this alive. Impatient, you climbed out of the truck and made your way over to Javi, trying to ignore the bump of the gun tucked into the back of his pants. He seemed to sense your approach as he paused in his pacing and turned to face you.

"Don't worry so much. If Lucas had worked it out, we'd know about it by now. My cousin isn't as smart as he likes to pretend he is." He nodded, you just hummed quietly and glanced at the door before you both. "Trust me." Javi added, placing a hand gently against your back. You had to resist the urge to lean into him, now was not the time nor place to indulge in such whims. You opened your mouth to say something when there was a noise the other side of the door and it suddenly swung open, the two young girls bolting out. You led them both back to the truck, turning back once they were inside to see Olivia coming towards you, tossing her blonde wig aside. No Nick and no Javi.

"Olivia… Where are they?" Olivia let out a shaky breath, resting one hand against your arm as she rest the over her chest.

"The latex glue must have been old. The beard started peeling while Nick was talking to Lucas. I thought he hadn't noticed at first but he seemed to suddenly spot it. Nick grabbed Luca's gun… he told me to go with the girls." She took a breath, her fingers digging gently into your arm as she stood there. "I told Javi and he just went running in after Nick. They'll be here soon, don't worry." She mumbled, giving you a weak smile before moving to climb into the truck, fussing over Addy and Maria. Your eyes stayed on the door as you debated trying to go and help, but you'd never held a gun before in your life and knew you'd probably just cause more problems. You sighed and moved to climb into the truck again.

As you sat down beside Addy, you heard Olivia mutter something. You glanced at her then turned in the direction she was looking, one of the guards from Javi's house was approaching the car with a gun in his hands. Gabriela sighed as she tried to appeal to him, he responded by radioing in that he'd found the five of you.

"Carlos, please. You don't wanna do this to me. You don't wanna do this to Javi. He's been nothing but good to you." Completely devoid of any remorse or emotion, Carlos stared at you all.

"Javi is about to die. As are you." You felt your stomach drop, panic spreading through you as you tried to keep calm, gripping one of Addy's hands in yours. Gabriela scowled and slammed the car into reverse, hitting the goon and sending him flying backwards.

"Did we kill him?!" Gabriela asked, everyone peering out at him when he suddenly jumped up like the villain in a horror movie. You barely registered what he said when a gunshot rang out and he crumpled to the floor. Revealing a tired looking Nick holding a gun out. Javi bolted out from behind him, making his way to the truck. You heard Maria beside you, mumbling to herself how it was 'fucking cool' that she was staring at Nicholas Cage of all people. Gabriela climbed into the back of the truck beside Maria as Nick got into the driver's seat, Javi hopping up into the back with you. You exchanged a glance, Javi subtly sliding his hand into yours as the truck peeled off down the dirt track to get away from the compound. You could hear Nick rambling at Addy, asking if she was okay or wanted anything to eat. Javi's hand suddenly left yours as he twisted in his seat to look out the back of the truck, keeping his balance as the vehicle bounced onto a solid road that would take you towards town.

"Oh shit!" He suddenly exclaimed, getting everyone's attention as you all saw what he did. Numerous black cars speeding after you. Lucas wasn't going to take this easily. There was barely a moment to come up with a plan, the cars were catching up.

"Olivia, hand me the guns, they're right in there." Javi said, holding out a hand as you watched the black cars speeding after you.

"What are you doing?" Gabriela asked, you watched as Olivia handed over the ridiculous looking golden guns to Javi. You pulled Addy and Maria closer to you, trying to keep calm as Javi shoved the guns into his pockets.

"Okay stop the truck, I will slow them down." He said, your eyes going wide as both you and Nick refused.

"No way!" The two men argued and before you could say anything, Javi jumped out of the back, tucking into himself so he rolled when he landed. You felt your heart stop as Nick slammed on the breaks to try and talk Javi into getting back in the truck.

"I'm never going to have any kind of a life unless I stand up to my cousin! I need this… now go." Nick and Javi stared at each other, you tried to move so you could get out and try to talk to him as he yelled 'go!' again. You wanted to get out, help or talk Javi into dealing with this another way. Gabriela placed a hand on your shoulder and gave a little smile before hopping out of the truck with a gun slung over her shoulder.

"You stay here. I will keep him safe, get the girls out of here." She said quietly, nodding as you studied her for a moment and reluctantly sank back into your seat. Nick pressed on the gas and pulled away, you turned back to see if Javi was looking and felt your blood run cold as you saw Gabriela step close to Javi and pull him into a kiss. In lieu of everything, it was such a small thing to get upset over but after everything so far, it was a solid kick to the stomach. You could feel tears threatening your eyes as you turned away to check on the girls and managed a smile of reassurance, turning your attention to Nick and Olivia as they made their way through the town. Gunfire from behind caught you by surprise and you realised Lucas was on your tail. It made you panic that Javi was dead as Nick sped towards the embassy. Everything was so loud and happening so fast, your bones shaking as Nick slammed through the fencing into the embassy. Your head hit the back of his seat as you wrapped protective arms around both girls to keep them safe. The car slid to a halt as guards came rushing out to see what was going on.

"Is everyone okay?" Nick managed, a little woozy from hitting his head on the steering wheel. Before anyone could answer, Lucas appeared and dragged Nick from the car with a sneer and a gun to his head. Olivia and Addy jumped out to try and go after them, you trying to stop them both. You heard Maria get Addy's attention, nudging a dropped knife towards the girl, you stared between them before watching as Addy grabbed it and threw it to Nick. He grabbed it and jammed it into Lucas, the man finally going limp and dropping to the ground. You finally breathed a sigh of relief, Maria sinking exhausted against your chest as you held her close.

"Let's get you home." You whispered to her, the girl nodding and making a tired joke about getting Nick's autograph first. Your ears were ringing as your heart pounded in your chest, trying to figure everything out. It had all happened so damn fast, you'd barely had a chance to react and almost felt annoyed with yourself that you'd just sat there. Frozen in fear while Nick had a gun to his head. In a split second your best friend could have been taken from you if it weren't for the teenager currently leaning against you.

(Part Eight)

[somnambulants]

hi!! i was just wondering if i could request more yelena where yelena introduces her gf to natasha and her family and she’s uncharacteristically nervous so nat finds it amusing? thank you :)

a bit of minor surgery

summary: Yelena tries to keep you to herself but her family has other ideas word count: 1.7K notes: so this is a little different to what you asked for but i hope you still like it! for the sake of this, nat, yelena, alexei and melina are just one happy family 

“But if we –"

Natasha holds up a hand and Yelena stops talking. “Do you hear that?”

It’s faint but there’s the sound of someone moving around on her apartment floor. Being the only person who lives on this floor and one of the few in this building is enough for this to raise the hairs on the back of her neck.

Survival for them has always meant constant vigilance.

Both of their heads swivel towards the front door as the footsteps become louder, very clearly approaching her apartment.

Yelena doesn’t have to look to know Natasha is mirroring her, pulling out her gun and scanning every entry-way for possible intruders.

On edge, Yelena presses herself against the door, readying herself until she listens properly and realises the approaching footsteps sound familiar. 

Somehow, she feels herself relax and become even more tense at the same time.

“Stop,” she says as Natasha moves towards the door as well, holding an arm out to stop her. “It’s okay. I know who it is.”

At her words Natasha relaxes, putting her gun away but she watches her face carefully as she does so.

The panic Yelena can feel building inside her must not be as well hidden as she thought because a slow grin spreads across her face as the sound of a gentle knock echoes through Yelena’s apartment.

“Is it..?”

“Yes,” Yelena replies curtly. “And no. You can’t meet them.”

Natasha gives her a wicked look, clicking her teeth together teasingly. “What? Scared I’ll…eat them?”

She snickers as Yelena reaches out and shoves her hard enough to knock the air out of her while also giving her a firm and clear: im going to kill you if you don't listen to me look as she goes to open the door.

Not that it's ever stopped Natasha before.

“Just stay there,” Yelena hisses and then wrenches the door open, finding you behind it with your hand still mid-air, prepared to knock a second time.

“Y/N!”

“Hi,” you say, looking a little startled but smiling at her none the less as you drop your hand.

Beside her and thankfully, just out of your view, Natasha, to her credit, is silent but Yelena can feel her gaze glued to her face and can especially feel the amusement radiating off her in waves.

She grits her teeth, forcing a smile. Your own fades a little as you take her in. “Is this a bad time?”

“No,” Yelena says quickly. Still out of sight, Natasha lets out a huff of laughter just quiet enough that she hopes she’s the only one that hears her.

“Not at all,” she adds, and since the door covers most of her body, it’s safe for her to reach out and pinch Natasha on the arm. Which is what she does. Hard. “Just --give me a second?”

Clearly still puzzled, you nod and Yelena closes the door, giving you a smile that she has a feeling looks more like a grimace.

Next she grabs Natasha by the arm and starts walking her forcibly towards the window. “Out.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow as she pulls them to an abrupt stop, looking at her then looking out the window. “You seriously want me to scale ten stories because you’re an idiot?”

As an answer, Yelena unlocks the latch and lets the window sweep open, giving her a pointed look that says: Yes. Obviously. 

Natasha rolls her eyes but to Yelena’s relief, she slides out the window.

“неудачник,” is all she says in parting before she disappears, dropping down the stairwell and vanishing from sight completely.

The word lingers in the air after her: Loser.

Yelena scowls after her for a second before she rushes back to the door and opens it, letting out a sigh of relief when she sees you’re still there, standing in the same spot.

“Sorry,” she apologises, swinging the door open. “There was just a uh, complication....a spider. I caught it and put it outside. I know you hate them.”

As she speaks, you slowly raise one eyebrow at her. The other quickly follows and it's then that she notices the narrowed look in your eyes.

When you start speaking, your voice is low and scarily calm. “So it has nothing to do with the woman I just made eye contact with as she was climbing down your fire escape?”

Something Yelena is proud to say is that in her life there have been very few times she’s been at a loss for words. 

This however is one of them.

She stares at you, blankly, knowing her panic must be showing on her face by the way your expression progressively becomes darker and darker as seconds pass and she fumbles frantically for something to say.

“I, uh, she is, she, uh –”

“—Natasha Romanoff. Nice to meet you.”

To her credit, Natasha has always been the stealthier of the two of them. Ignoring that fact, Yelena chooses to believe that her being distracted by you is why she doesn’t hear her coming back up the stairwell.

She also chooses to believe that she didn’t visibly jump at the sound of her voice and that the cough Natasha lets out is genuine and not covering up a laugh that says she’s going to mock her mercilessly for this entire thing later.

Of course, Yelena can’t fool herself but she tries anyway.

You look even more unimpressed as Natasha comes to a stop beside her and it clicks in Yelena’s head that you think her and Natasha – her and Natasha. She can’t even finish the thought.

As funny as it is, she doesn’t let herself laugh, knowing instinctively that it’s not a good idea. The flinty look in your eyes just confirms how much of a not good idea that is.

Just because you weren’t raised like her doesn’t mean that you couldn’t pack a punch; something she learned early on in your relationship when she’d accidentally snuck up on you once. She’d had a black eye for weeks after that.

“Natasha is my --” she isn’t sure how to say: ‘this is the woman I was trained to kill people with while we grew up being tortured and experimented on, remember I told you?’ In a way that won’t make you go running for the hills.

As she trails off, Natasha, sensing her panic, jumps in. Yelena knows that internally, she must be laughing hysterically though to her merit, she keeps it to herself. “I’m her… sister. Of sorts.”

You know about her past – all of what she was willing to repeat of it anyway – so comprehension quickly dawns on your face.

“Then why…?”

She watches as Natasha’s mouth twitches, sounding amused as she directly addresses you: “Well... my sister is an idiot. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

Yelena tenses as you give her a once over, raking your eyes over her consideringly, before you turn back to Natasha.  “I may have noticed that. Yes.”

"Hey," Yelena protests, weakly. "That's not fair."

You give her a pointed look and she falls silent. Resigned to her fate, she lets out a sigh.

She can tell from the matching scheming looks brewing in both your own and Natasha’s eyes that this is only going to be the start of her own personal torment.

--

The one thing she really, really hates about her family is that they have this habit of showing up unannounced – you’d think that the whole being assassins and consequently, a little trigger happy as a result would make someone call ahead but no.

Never.

For this reason, it comes as no surprise when there’s the familiar three tap repetitive secret knock knock knock they had all come up with years ago on her front door early the following morning.

Silently, Yelena prays you don’t hear it and stay asleep as she drags herself out of bed and prepares herself for what she’s about to deal with.

Truthfully, she’s a little surprised that they’d had enough tact to wait until morning. She’d half expected them to be knocking her door down the second Natasha relayed last nights events to them. 

Yanking the door open, she comes face-to-face with Alexei and Melina. Taking them both in and cataloguing mentally that they look alive and uninjured, she lets herself glare at both of them.

“Is something wrong?”

They both frown. “No?”

“Okay I’m closing the door then.”

She starts to swing it shut but it’s quickly caught as Alexei shoves a foot in between it and the doorframe, giving her a reproachful look.

“Is your –”

“Yes,” Yelena interrupts, scowling harder than before, if that was even possible. “Now, leave.”

The look on Alexei’s face shifts, now suddenly a little too much on the wrong side of sneaky. “Can we—”

“No.”

“But–"

“I don’t care. You can’t meet them,” she barks, probably too loudly, as she shoves him back out into the hallway. If she has to throw them bodily out of here, she will. It just would likely attract your attention, which is the opposite of what she wants. “They’re asleep.”

“We can wake them,” he suggests, unhelpfully.

Yelena glares at him harder. “No.”

It’s faint but all of a sudden, she can hear the sound of a door squeaking as it opens. Her bedroom door to be more exact. Your voice calling out to her quickly follows.

“Okay,” she says. “I’m closing the door now.”

“Hey, no wait –” Alexei starts to protest. Yelena closes the door firmly in their faces and is working on dead-bolting it just as you appear in her line of sight.

You blink at her blearily, wearing just one of her T-shirts and nothing else. Thank god she hadn’t let them in. “Who was that?”

“Neighbours,” Yelena lies. “Looking for their …cat.”

Still half asleep, you don’t think to question her and she sags against the door in relief as you venture into the kitchen in search of coffee.

To her relief, there are no subsequent persistent knocks or calls through the door and after a second, she can hear the quiet sound of footsteps and Alexei’s grumbling as they retreat.

Natasha is one thing – their parents or pseudo-parents or whatever they are – are another thing entirely. She’d save that one for another day.

Or never, preferably.

[misscarolineshelby]

A New Life

Part Nine: First Night Away

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 3,605

Warning: Angst, Smut

Original Blogger: @queenshelby

The long weekend trip to Kerry was fast approaching and you hired a car to drive there with Max with the view to visit your cousin on the way.

You were the first one to arrive at Cillian’s holiday house on Thursday afternoon and were thankful for the GPS and the fact that Max slept the whole way through.

The house was not far from many beautiful walking tracks and was even somewhat secluded. It was a large house, but somewhat dated and it was obvious to you that Cillian liked to keep the old charm of the house rather than turn into something modern.

‘Are these your sheep?’ you said as you stepped out of the car and Cillian greeted you after having heard your car pull up.

‘No, they belong to the neighbours’ Cillian said and you looked around somewhat confused. There was no other house nearby.

‘Neighbours?’ you chuckled and Cillian nodded.

‘Yes, they live a kilometre up this way’ he said, pointing north, before asking you to come inside.

The house was beautiful and featured a new but rustic kitchen and three bathrooms. The living room contained a large stone fire place and there were five bedrooms.

‘I am sorry that you have to bunk with Laura’ Cillian said as he carried your bag to one of the rooms after having shown Max where he will be sleeping with his two cousins and a friend’s young son named Connor.

‘Well, I thought that you would be sharing a room with her after the rumours I have heard’ you winked and Cillian couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Rumours, eh? What have you heard?’ he then asked and, whilst you knew that you should have kept this to yourself, you couldn’t.

This was all you had been thinking about for the past two days and you were seriously bothered by the fact that Cillian and Laura had shared an intimate moment together.

‘I’ve heard that you and Laura shared a kiss’ you said, pretending not to be bothered by it.

‘If, by sharing a kiss, you mean that she forced herself on me when she had too much to drink then yes, the rumours are true’ Cillian laughed rather amused.

‘That’s not how I heard it. Apparently, you guys had a moment’ you said surprised but Cillian shook his head.

‘The kiss wasn’t mutual Y/N. She was drunk and I am actually quite surprised that she remembered it at all. I had to take her back to her hotel room and help her lie down. That’s how wasted she was’ Cillian said somewhat amused and you couldn’t help but start laughing as well.

‘Well, I think she might actually like you Cillian. It was more than a stupid drunk moment for her’ you explained somewhat concerned but Cillian still didn’t take you serious.

‘I am not interested in her Y/N’ Cillian then confirmed.

‘I don’t care if you are’ you then said with blushing cheeks which is when you heard Cian’s car pull up as well.

***

The afternoon went fast and, while Cillian, Cian and their mutual friend Liam prepared dinner, Laura, Evelyn and you played a boardgame with the children in front of the fire place.

After dinner and after all of the children went to bed, you opened two bottles of wine and enjoyed some time just between adults, talking and joking together before your big day tomorrow.

Laura tried her best to get closer to Cillian throughout the evening, sitting next to him whenever she could and teaming up with him during a game of trivia.

You tried not to let this bother you while Cillian behaved just as he would normally without letting her get too close after what you had told him.

But Laura didn’t give up and would, occasionally, brush her hand over Cillian’s arms or otherwise try to make physical contact with him.

You couldn’t help but cringe every time you noticed it and Cillian had become almost oblivious to her actions as the night went on and she had a few glasses of wine to drink yet again.

Eventually, Evelyn and Laura decided that they drank enough. They both wanted to be ready for the hike tomorrow and decided to go to bed at around 10 o’clock that evening, leaving you to sit in front of the fire place with Cian, Liam and Cillian.  

‘I might just quickly change into my pyjamas so that I don’t wake you when I come in’ you suggested to Laura who, surprisingly, you had been getting on with perfectly fine that day.

‘Sure, thanks’ Laura said as you followed her into the bedroom. You knew that, sharing a bad with her would be awkward, but you knew that space was limited.

***

‘Where did everyone go?’ you asked surprised when you returned to the living room after you got changed and saw that only Cillian was left sitting there with his glass of wine.

‘To bed’ he chuckled before topping up your glass and handing it to you. It was obvious that he wasn’t tired yet.

‘Wow, alright…old farts’ you joked while, the truth was, that you didn’t really mind at all. You enjoyed spending time with Cillian on your own and you quickly got talking again, about literature, art and theatre which were all the things you couldn’t talk about when Cian or the others were around.

Then, eventually, the topic of past relationships came up again and you talked about that for at least twenty minutes until you decided that it was enough. It had become too depressing and Cillian wanted to put an end to the conversation.

‘You know, just fuck him Y/N. I think you just have to enjoy life without thinking too much about it and ignore the people who want to interfere with it’ Cillian said after you told him about the latest stunt your ex-boyfriend had pulled back home, alleging that you had cheated on him which was far from the truth.

‘I love your no fucks given attitude; you know that?’ you then smiled. Of course, you knew that he was right about it. You couldn’t let this sort of behaviour bother you. But somehow, it did. It annoyed you and made you angry.

‘This kind of attitude comes with age’ Cillian grinned before looking up at the sky featuring a cloud-free star-scape overhead through one of the large skylight windows in the living room.

‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ you said, looking up as well, and Cillian agreed with your observations.

‘You know, I really enjoyed the night we shared with each other last week’ you then said to break the silence in the room, causing Cillian to look at you with his piercing blue eyes.

‘Me too’ he responded, smiling and waiting for you to say something else. It was almost like he was lost for words.

‘I was thinking that…perhaps…we should do this again some time’ you then said, unable to take your eyes of him.

‘Y/N, I think that would be a bad idea. As I said earlier, I don’t want to be in a relationship right now’ he explained and you told him again that you didn’t want to be in a relationship either.

‘I am going back home in six weeks Cillian. It would just be sex, occasionally, now and then, whenever we feel like it. No strings attached’ you explained, causing him to cock an eyebrow and sigh.

‘Well, you just said to me before that, sometimes, you just have to enjoy life without thinking too much about it’ you reminded him with a wicked smile, causing Cillian to laugh.

‘Whilst this was not what I had in mind when I told you to enjoy life, I think that I may be open to your proposal’ Cillian then smirked and, just as he did, you got up from your seat and stood in front of him, leaning down slightly and cupping his face.

‘Would you just?’ you teased, biting your lips seductively before pressing them onto Cillian’s lips who, without hesitation, gave into the kiss.

‘I would. In fact, sleeping with you again had been on my mind’ Cillian admitted after your lips drifted apart and, as soon as Cillian put his wine glass down, you crawled onto his lap which is where you could feel his erection poke eagerly against the fabric of his jeans.

‘Clearly you have. You are so hard for me already’ you breathed out teasingly in between sensual kisses all the while you were grinding yourself against him, allowing your own core to get some friction.

‘We can’t risk doing this out here Y/N’ Cillian said eventually as he felt himself getting even more aroused than he already was. You talking dirty to him was the icing on the cake and there was no turning back now.

‘Let’s take it to your bedroom then’ you suggested while getting off Cillian’s lap and straightening up your clothes but, to your surprise, Cillian shook his head.

‘I think we should wait until we get back to Dublin’ Cillian said, causing you to pout.

‘Why?’ you asked, running your hand over his crotch seductively, teasing his hard cock through the fabric of his jeans.  

‘Because your brother could hear us and I am very keen to live another day’ Cillian chuckled, but you wouldn’t let down.

‘I need you to fuck me tonight, Cillian. I am serious. I am all horny now. Feel that’ you demanded while taking hold of his hand and pushing it beneath your cotton pyjama pants and inside your panties.

‘Jesus Y/N. You are soaking’ Cillian said in a low groan while pushing his finger inside you slightly.

‘That’s just what you do to me Cillian. Now take me to your bedroom and fuck me’ you demanded while grinding yourself against his hand.

‘Alright, but you need to be a good girl for me and stay quiet. Can you do that?’ Cillian then asked before taking your hand and, of course, you nodded eagerly.

***

Within minutes, you found yourself in Cillian’s bed with his bedroom door locked from the inside.

You were both almost completely naked, facing each other and sharing playful kisses.

As you were kissing, you pressed your hand against Cillian’s chest, then running your fingers over his back and then back down over his stomach until your fingertips were just tracing under the waistband of his Calvin Klein briefs.

‘You know how often I’ve been thinking about you over the past week?’ Cillian then asked as he took you by surprise, suddenly kissing you back hard, leaning into you, and thrusting the hardness of his erection between your thighs, which opened in an instinctive response.

‘Me too. In fact, I’ve been fantasising about you fucking me while I am masturbating’ you moaned as your head went back and you groaned softly as he kissed up down your neck with an insistence that was completely irresistible. You threw your leg over his hips and pulled him into you.

You could hear Cillian’s breath becoming harder and more ragged now as you ran your hand down into his underwear to free his glorious, throbbing cock from its restrictions.

You pulled your hips back so you could run your hand up and down his thick shaft, and play with the drop of precum that was oozing from the head with the tip of your finger and, without even thinking, you brought the finger up to your lips so that you could taste him.

‘Jesus Y/N, that’s so fucking sexy’ Cillian groaned in approval.

He had one arm under your neck and the other cupping your ass under your panties, pulling you into him, before you felt him reach down the back of your thigh beneath the stretching elastic.

He then slid his fingers up the front of your eagerly parting legs, teasingly fingering your outer folds where you knew he could feel how your pussy was suddenly flooded with warmth and wetness.

‘So, fucking wet for me…I can’t wait to slide my cock inside you’ Cillian whispered as you tried to stifle your delighted moan as he breathed into your ear.

‘I need it so badly Cillian. I need your cock inside me’ you moaned in response and, with one motion, he pulled your panties down to your knees, where they were easy for you to wriggle out of. More clumsily, but no less hungrily, you pulled at the elastic and cotton that still covered the base of Cillian’s straining cock and his balls, until he took pity on you and pulled off his underwear.

For a moment, the feel of Cillian’s naked body pressed against yours took your breath away, and you could hear that he had the same reaction. His lips found yours in the middle of your intake of breath, kissing you passionately.

You gasped as he broke away and gave you another quick kiss on your neck while rolling you over onto your back. Cillian’s body was protective on top of you and his hips were pressing into yours while the head of his cock flirtatiously and teasingly brushed against your outer folds.

‘Please, I need you inside me’ you begged again as, breathlessly, you reached down and pulled him towards you, one hand pulling at his hips, the other desperately, thirstily trying to guide the head of his cock into the wetness of your screaming, impatient, painfully empty pussy.

Cillian resisted one more second while he covered your mouth with his and then, finally, after what seemed like eternity, plunged all the way into you.

‘Oh god yes’ you moaned loudly into Cillian’s mouth which was a completely involuntary response to the feeling of him thrusting so deeply and forcefully inside you.

But your moaning didn’t stop there. Instead, you continued to moan loudly as Cillian began to move inside you.

‘Shh’ he whispered past your lips after he pulled away from the kiss and he quickly covered your mouth with his hand instead.  

You nodded in response as he started moving very slowly but deeply in and out of you, holding each stroke at its deepest point, filling you up entirely.

You smiled, and kissed the palm of his hand that was pressing across your lips to show him that you remembered that Cian and Evelyn were in the next room.

When Cillian saw that you got control of yourself, he moved his hand caressingly down your neck, to your breast, and down to play with your clit.

The other hand grabbed your leg up onto his shoulder, pulling you up onto his cock as he thrusted downward, over and over, establishing that perfect rhythm that was at once too rapid for your sensory overload, and too slow for your insatiable, hungry need for him.

As you looked up at Cillian you could see his eyes burning down into yours, turning you on even more.

Within no time, you clenched down on him hard with your muscles mid-stroke, your pussy pulling him back into you just as he was pulling out, and this time it was your turn to reach your fingers up to his lips to hastily and tenderly stifle the resounding groan that was nearly wrenched from him in response.

‘You feel so fucking wet and tight around my cock’ Cillian whispered before he leaned down to kiss you.

As you shared a passionate kiss, Cillian suddenly thrusted hard and unyieldingly into you once more, and again, and again, cutting off your moans with a gasp of overwhelming pleasure.

‘Oh god yes yes yes’ you moaned as quietly as you could as he continued this new pace unrelenting, driving into you with forceful, fierce, inexorable, remorseless, incredibly deep and increasingly intense, insistent thrusts.

When Cillian was sure that you were not going to cry out in spite of the mind-blowing pleasure, he slowly sat back upright. His hands were holding you down on his cock as he shifted positions, and then spreading both your legs wide so he could go even deeper.

Fucking you hard and deep, you watched from above as you arched your back and bit your lip in mute ecstasy, gazing back up at him as your hand strayed down to work your swollen, pulsing clit. The feeling was so incredible it took literally all your self-control to not scream as you rode closer and closer to orgasm on the grinding girth of Cillian’s cock.

‘I am so close Cillian’ you moaned quietly and, just when you thought you couldn’t take too much more, you saw Cillian’s jaw clench and heard him draw a deep breath.

‘So am I’ Cillian groaned just as you felt his body shudder and his cock swell inside you, which is when you let go.

Your head was thrown back and your eyes were tightly shut as you started to cum. Your lips were also pressed shut as you concentrated on not making a sound, feeling wave after wave of pleasure roll down your body and ring through your pussy, until you felt Cillian reach down, his fingers at the back of your neck and his thumb against your mouth, compelling your eyes to snap open and meet his as he surged into you, flooding you with his warm cum as quietly as he possibly could.

Coming in sync like this with him was surreal and, whilst you didn’t let yourself go completely to avoid being too loud, it was intense. Seeing the fire in each other’s eyes and feeling the passion build up between your bodies was all you needed.

‘I needed this so fucking bad’ you huffed out, relieved, when Cillian collapsed onto you and you wrapped your arms and legs around him, pulling him close and kissing his ear, his cheek, his forehead and then his lips as your bodies trembled and you both gasped for breath.

‘I am sorry for not being more experimental tonight but I don’t like the fact that your brother is right next door’ Cillian whispered as he stayed there on top of you for a minute, breathing hard into the hair just behind your ear and absently kissing your neck.

‘It was perfect Cillian’ you said rather satisfied by what you had achieved within 45 minutes while Cillian carefully pulled out of you, causing some of his cum to leak onto the sheets beneath you.

You both rolled to your sides, facing each other before you resolved into an uncontrollable flood of silent kisses and caresses. Cillian was still holding you close to him and you felt at ease and ready to fall asleep in his arms once again. But, you knew that you had to get up and get into your own bed instead so that you wouldn’t raise any suspicions.

‘I better go and sneak back to my room’ you eventually said but Cillian wasn’t quite ready to let you go despite the fact that it was already 2 o’clock in the morning and you were scheduled to get up for your hike at 7am.

‘Not yet, stay just a little longer’ Cillian said before kissing you again gently and you continued like this for another ten minutes before calling it a night.

After you said goodnight to each other, you tippy toed back into your room where Laura was sleeping deeply.

You climbed into the bed beside her, not sure whether you could fall asleep after what you had just been doing. You also felt a sense of shame, being there right next to her after having been with the man she desired. But this sense of shame you were feeling was quickly taken over by more lust for Cillian as, after you pulled the doona over your body, you could feel another gush of Cillian’s cum leak from your core and into your cotton panties. The thought of his cum being inside you made you all excited again. You wanted more, so much more. You knew that you were in for more wet dreams and regretted not having demanded a second round from Cillian before you left his room, knowing that he was very much capable of going again.

***

The following morning, when your alarm went off at 7 o’clock, you stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and with dark circles beneath your eyes.

Cillian was already sitting on the kitchen table in his pyjamas, drinking his coffee and trying to maintain a conversation with Cian who appeared rather lively. Cillian, on the other hand, did not. He was clearly still tired and even a little exhausted.

‘Good Morning, Sister’ Cian said, smiling and handing you a cup of coffee which you gladly accepted.

‘You obviously stayed up late. You look tired’ he then said while Cillian gave you an innocent wink when Cian looked the other way to grab some sugar for Evelyn’s coffee.

‘Yes, I had a few more glasses of wine by the fireplace’ you said, cheeks blushing as you watched Laura sit down next to Cillian and trying her luck again, flirting with him and trying to get his attention.

  Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​

@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  

[constancelaufeydottir]

𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝

Pairing: Neighbour!Bucky x reader

Warnings: Mentions of knife, blood, cursing, murder, mention of cannibalism, dark!Bucky(?), major character death, slight smut, fluff.

Summary: Bucky set his eyes on his sweet and cute neighbour who had suffered from a loss recently, determined to make her his.

Word count: 4.3k

a/n: This is my entry for @ambrosiase hotel indigo writing challenge. It’s my first ever writing challenge, and I had a lot of fun writing this! Honestly, I'm really grateful for this challenge because it motivates me to finish this wip that has been sitting in the draft for too long. Thank you for this lovely challenge mae ♡♡

Not beta’d, all mistakes are my own. If you see any mistakes, do let me know!

Room ⥤ Modern muse

Room service ⥤ neighbour + criminal

“Oh that poor thing.”

Bucky whipped his head in the direction of the voice. It was Mrs. Lockwood, his neighbour on the right.

“Huh?” He didn’t mean to voice out his confusion, but his brain was somewhat short-circuited, barely able to function when his sight was filled with you, and you only.

“That sweet girl over there,” Mrs. Lockwood was referring to you, his sweet neighbour to the left he was staring at, before the old lady came interrupting.

He had been staring for 5, 10 minutes maybe? He swore he wasn’t a pervert, you were just a sight for sore eyes, the healer of the wounds in his soul.

“What about y/n?” He asked, curious to listen to what his neighbour would say about the other neighbour. Also, he was fairly new to the neighbourhood, having just moved in last month, he ought to catch up with the gossip.

“Her boyfriend went missing a few months back, poor girl was devastated. Police suspected it was murder, even suspected y/n!” The old lady shook her head, casting pitying glances at the oblivious girl in the sundress, bathing under the sun with a book in her hand. “She’s such a sweet girl, how could they have suspected her?”

Bucky glanced at you, heart racing when you caught him looking. You shyly waved at him, a small smile plastered on your face hiding the underlying sadness of the loss of your loved one. His hand felt clammy when he raised one of them to wave back, his usual flirty self vanished whenever you were involved in the equation.

“Boy, you are in love aren’t ya,” Mrs. Lockwood teased, “I say go for it. Our lovely y/n definitely needs some lovin’ after what she’d been through and young man, I think you are the right person.” Her eyes crinkled as she patted Bucky encouragingly on the shoulder, like a loving mother cheering up her son.

Bucky, who was usually composed, blushed furiously. That big brain of his still hadn’t regained its functions thus he found himself unable to stop Mrs. Lockwood when she hollered at you.

Clearly immersed in your book, you jumped a little when you heard your name being called.

“Y/n, this young man would love to take you out on a date, what d’ya say?” His eyes widened at the accusation, though it was true that he wanted to date you, he just needed time to gather the guts to ask you out.

He saw you put down your book, walking towards him and Mrs. Lockwood. You were a front yard away from him, shielding the harsh sunlight from your eyes with your hands while leaning onto the fence.

“I’d love to,” you had to speak louder, and Bucky loved your voice as he only heard it only a handful of times now, often you were shy and quiet when you saw him.

“U-uhm, how about Saturday then,” He stuttered like a teenage boy who first received a love letter, suddenly forgetting how to speak, speech lost in the sea of disbelief and excitement, and affection.

You said nothing, only nodding and smiling at him, flashing those pearly whites.

“Great. 6pm. I’ll pick you up,”

“See you soon, James.” He watched as you walked away, a teasing smile on your face before you disappeared into the door. Gosh how he loved the way his name sounded on your lips, and he’d give anything to hear it again, and again.

Saturday came too soon, Bucky was not prepared at all. Well, he had done the reservations for the restaurant he’d planned to bring you to tonight, ironed out the creases and wiped off the non-existent dust on the dress shirt he would be wearing, so why was he nervous?

5:50 pm.

Call him old-fashioned or whatever, he’d prefer early to late and would love to escort you to his car. He stood in front of your porch, palm sweating and if his metal arm could secrete sweats, he was pretty sure it would end up like its counterpart.

You opened the door as soon as he rapped his knuckles on the wooden door, seeming eagerly waiting for him as he was for you.

He took in your outfit, the moderately revealing dress he liked, the one he saw you undress from, through his window countless times.

If it was possible to fall into a deeper love, he would.

The date couldn’t possibly be better than he imagined, it was perfect. Everything was great; the atmosphere of the restaurant, the quality of the food, and most importantly, you.

You were shy at first but opened up fairly quickly, telling him stories about you, and vice versa. You sympathized with him when he told you how he got the metal arm, your fingers grazing the delicate and intricate loops and lines on the metal surface.

His fingers were woven into yours halfway into the dinner, the cool metal fingers of his absently caressing your knuckles as you shared the story about your family, who disappeared mysteriously, then your ex-boyfriend, who went missing 5 months ago, like your family.

It was hard, talking about missing loved ones. Bucky could tell, by the way your hand unconsciously tightened, the lingering sadness in your eyes as you mentioned how happy you were before him. The way your tears were brimming in your eyes, threatening to glide down your face, it wrenched his heart, seeing how broken you were. He would try to pick up every broken piece of you in a heartbeat, mending them back together, fixing you until you were happy again if you would let him in.

He was kind of glad your ex-boyfriend was out of the picture, though it was a selfish thing to say. He desperately wanted to claim you, wanted to be your last and only boyfriend.

He’d been going on dates with you for a few months now. You were perfect, almost too perfect if he would say. You were practically his dream girl, so kind and generous. So sweet and loving. Pretty much everybody in this neighbourhood would agree with him and he sometimes wondered if he really deserved you. A beauty mingling with a beast. No one would ever want to see that, after all, even the beast turned into a handsome prince at the end of the fairytale.

Bucky wondered, if you found out what he did every night after you were asleep or what he took from your closet when you were away, would you still want him? If you found out the beast within him, would you still love him the same?

His thoughts were occupied and it wasn’t until the sharp pain in his fingers that he snapped out of his trance.

“Fuck!” You heard him cursing and went to him, gasping when you saw the streams of blood flowing from the deep cut from two of his fingers.

Hastily reaching out for the clean cloth from one of the drawers, you placed it over the wound, applying pressure on them.

The red quickly seeped through the pristine white cloth, two colours clashing as the red engulfed the white.

Bucky noticed you wincing at the red, gulping at the sight, head slightly turned away. It was obvious you were uncomfortable at the sight of blood, so he took the cloth himself and nudged you to wash the faint hint of blood on your palms.

“Sorry, now you might have to do this alone,” Bucky gestured at the ingredients on the counter, “and sorry for the cloth, blood stains are quite hard to get rid off.”

“Don’t you worry, a little hydrogen peroxide and the cloth will be as good as new,” Bucky let you tend to his wounds and pushed him towards the living room where he would sit at the couch for the next hour while you were busy at the kitchen preparing dinner.

While he was in the living room, he took in the interior of your house. He never got to take a close look, as he always had to sneak in when it was dark. The beige colour walls, cream coloured furnitures, books arranged perfectly on the floating shelves. The pictures and art hung on the clean walls, not one of them is crooked. The square coffee table with only the remote and a display plant on it, and when he shifted himself to sit at the center of the couch, did he realize the coffee table was lined up perfectly in the middle of the TV and the couch.

Bucky’s eyebrows raised, he didn’t depict you as a meticulous person. No wait, whenever he went out with you, you’d arrange the plates to sit between the utensils perfectly. When you get boba, the straws must precisely be in the center of the cup, and if you missed it, your eyebrows would furrow in annoyance subconsciously.

His eyes wandered over to your figure in the kitchen and was not surprised to find you wiping and hanging the cutting board on the ceramic wall, adjusting it with your fingers so it wouldn’t be crooked while waiting for the stew to simmer.

You caught him looking at you and threw a smile at him in which he reciprocated, then continued to let his eyes wander through your living room. This could easily be an IKEA showroom, he thought.

Another week went by, Bucky found himself more and more in love with you, if that was possible in the first place as if he didn’t already dedicate all the space in his heart for you.

You were both in the kitchen again. This time however, he was busy mixing the sugar, flour, and cocoa powder mixture, with you snuggling behind him, arms circling his waist as you watched him do the magic.

He felt sorry for not helping last time so he was making up to you by baking some brownies.

As you both were cleaning up, brownies baking in the oven, Bucky turned to you.

“Hey, I never asked, but what do you do for a living?” He questioned nonchalantly while wiping the huge plastic bowl.

The wet spatula fell from your grip, dropping into the sink of water, droplets of soapy liquid flecked on your shirt.

“O-oh, i’m an artist!” You let out a laugh to conceal your flustered state, “Aspiring artist to be exact.”

“An artist,” he hummed, as if chewing onto the meaning of the word, “could you show me your works?”

Your head whipped towards his direction, mouth parted in surprise. Nobody has ever appreciated your dream. Your family, your friends, your ex-boyfriends, all of them claimed that being an artist would lead you to being unsuccessful, and you deemed to prove them wrong.

“Yes, yes, of course,” you were overjoyed. Abandoning the half-washed utensils, you clasped your hand around his wrist and dragged him to follow you towards the second floor, into a room hidden behind another beige coloured door, where you kept all your works.

Rows of headless mannequins clothed in white dresses painted with red blossoms appeared before him as you pushed open the door.

He was utterly mesmerized. He trailed his gaze across the display, a smile painted his lips as he deduced that every piece of them was unique. No two dresses had the same pattern.

Some had plain red blossoms splattered on it, some had dark red waves littering on the bottom hem; some with brush strokes of red. There was also a different tone of red, bright and dark or somewhat in between.

“Wow, this is just … amazing!” He found himself at a loss for words, “are those blood?”

“Yes, they are.”

“I thought you don’t like blood?” Bucky teased.

“These are animal blood. I’m fine with it as long as it’s not coming out from a human,” you retorted.

He chuckled. Once again admiring the intricate patterns of your works, marvelling at how talented and perfect you were. His heart sank at the thought of the question he frequently found himself asking, how can someone so perfect like you end up with someone less than perfect like him.

You apparently noticed his changed demeanor as you inched yourself closer to pull him into an embrace, placing your chin on his chest, eyes searching for his sad blue ones.

“Are you okay?” He hugged you tighter, sighing.

“I’m fine. I just … I think you’re perfect and you’re everything I've ever wanted. But I'm not sure if I'm perfect enough for you.”

“Oh James, you’re more than enough. I assure you, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted too.”

Bucky felt like his heart was filled to the brim with adoration, butterflies erupted from his stomach. Your assurance was everything to him, keeping his wandering soul anchored and he was grateful for it, grateful for your existence. The more the reason to cage you by his side so you couldn’t ever leave him.

His lips were on yours the next second, his grip on your waist tightened as you deepened the kiss, tongue finding his; busy hands sliding from his stomach to his shoulder.

Both of you were drowning in this ecstasy, unwilling to part away from each other’s touch.

The loud ding of the oven startled the both of you. Momentarily parting from each other, you stared at him with a heated glance. His eyes were hooded, filled with lust, desire.

“Fuck the brownies,” you whispered, molding your soft lips on him once again, the hunger for each other far greater than the stupid brownies, “need you now.”

Bucky didn’t need to be told twice, large hands cupping your bottom as you hopped and hooked your legs behind him, arms instinctively went to his shoulders for support.

He brought the both of you to your room, the one he was all too familiar with, the one with the same cream coloured theme which could definitely pass as another IKEA showroom judging by how perfect the layout was.

The only odd thing that stood out in this far too perfect room was the trail of scratch marks extending from the door frame to the wall outside of the room.

The deep scratch marks were somehow etched deep in his brain, he couldn’t let it go. It felt as if there was a dot of blank ink on a piece of white paper, and even though there was more white than black, you’d only be fixated on the dot of black.

He would ask you about the haunting marks on the wall and your fingers that were tracing patterns on his skin would falter, you’d give him the warm smile he loved while brushing it off saying it was the huge Dobermann your aunt owned which did that.

Even when he was balls deep in you, the vivid image of the scratch marks were there in his head, though you were quick to draw back his attention with a grind on his hips, both of your bodies covered with sheen of perspiration. Strands of your hair sticking to your body, but you pay no care to them as you rocked your hips, chanting his name over and over again like a mantra, like a prayer.

His eyes were on your fucked out state, his grip on you like steel. The cool surface of his metal arm contrasted with your hot flushed body as you chase your high like a traveller chasing the oasis in a desert, desperate for a quench of thirst.

Even when he was chasing the same high, vision blinding with bliss, the marks were still there and this time they were accompanied by the white dresses painted with red, and red only.

Bucky was always a doubtful person. Doubting every single decision he’d ever made. Doubting himself, doubting others. But there was one thing he was certain of, there was something less than innocent lurking underneath your skin. Of course, he was still head over heels for you but he was pretty adamant to find out the sinister in you, hoping it would answer his questions, mainly the recurring image of a certain mark.

Bucky was a lot of things, dumbass , dork, clumsy(per sam), but he was not stupid. Hell, he was far from stupid. Those scratch marks, definitely not the Dobermann.

You were a perfectionist, you couldn’t possibly leave the mark there and acted like nothing happened in the first place. He’d imagine if it was the dog, you’d probably have someone fix the dent the same day, unwilling to allow even a speck of blemish in your flawless house.

Bucky was a lot of things, and being a dumbass was definitely one of them as he was showing up on your porch in the evening unannounced.

He’d considered sneaking in like he used to do but he knew, he saw that you were still in the house. He couldn’t and wouldn’t jeopardize your relationship with him knowing he’d get caught.

He knocked on your door, hearing footsteps paddling, rushing to him.

As you opened the door, your eyes widened at the sight of an awkward Bucky. Although you were quick to throw him an unalarming smile, he still caught the nervousness in you.

There was something off with you. The disheveled hair, thin layer of sweat adorning the crown of your head, unknown wet liquid staining your shirt.

He caught a whiff of the strong smell of chemicals wafting through the door, it smelled a lot like bleach.

“I’m sorry,” he scratched at the back of his neck, “is this not a good time?”

“It’s fine, come on in.”

The smell of bleach invaded his nose the moment he stepped into your house, flooding and overwhelming his senses causing him to wince.

“Were you deep cleaning?”

“Yeah, I accidentally spilled some of the animal blood this morning. Had to use hell lots of hydrogen peroxide to get rid of them. Sorry for the smell.”

“No no, it’s okay. Let me just open the windows and door, okay?” He was getting a little light-headed now, desperately needing some fresh air. “Doll, you need to ventilate every time you use bleach, it’s harmful for your health to inhale all these fumes.”

You blushed at the term of endearment, yet wanting to blame him for not calling you that earlier.

He went over to open the windows, sighing contentedly at the waves of fresh air hitting his face as the wind blew in.

He felt your arms snaking around him, head leaning against his broad back.

“I love you, James. Wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

“I love you too.” He turned around and hugged you, his chin propped on your head, not knowing you had a solemn expression on your face.

He’d spent the evening with you, watching TV on the couch with you in his lap. It was so mundane yet he’d never got bored of this, wanting to do this with you for the rest of his life.

Outside the window, the orange and yellow sky faded into darkness.

“Let’s order take out, how about Thai food?”

“I’ll cook,” you kissed him on the lips and got up from his lap before he could reply anything.

“Ok, you need help?” He heard a faint ‘no, it’s fine’ coming out of the kitchen followed by the clanking of pots and utensils.

His neck stretched to peek at your figure in the kitchen, too busy chopping up ingredients to notice he was no longer at the living room.

He made his way down the basement, where the pungent smell of the bleach was still lingering.

The wood creaked as he stepped on the stairs, announcing his arrival to the darkness surrounding the basement. The soft glow of light illuminated the large space, a wall of tins stacking on each other revealed to him. A few easels of different sizes were propped on the wall with several grey aprons hanging beside them.

He walked closer to examine the insane amount of tins. A small label that said Pig blood was stickered on the body of the white tin.

His eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. Do people really sell animal blood in metal tins, wouldn’t they go bad?

There were loads of questions in Bucky’s head, questions with answers only you could provide.

He noticed a chest freezer sitting in the corner of the basement and his legs brought him to it before he came to realize. The whole basement was so quiet he could hear the soft ringing in his ears, the racing of his heartbeat amplified as his hand inched towards the lid.

There was nothing in the freezer, to his surprise.

The empty freezer stared back at him, as if mocking his fruitless attempt. He was relieved, or disappointed, he couldn’t tell the difference and there was no point in distinguishing them now since you had nothing to hide. He wasn’t even sure what he was expecting to find in the freezer.

“Babe?” You stood behind him with an apron on, a knife in your hand, a second after he closed the door to the basement.

He leaned against the door frame, hand went to his head, eyes squeezed shut as he pretended he was having a headache.

“Felt dizzy all of a sudden, I was just making my way to the bathroom.”

“Oh, okay. I was just about to tell you dinner's almost ready,” a tooth-rotting smile was plastered on your face.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he watched as you walked away, letting out the breath he’d been holding. His palm was clammy, heart beating rapidly.

“I love you,” You placed your hand on his arm, eyes meeting his.

“I know, doll. I love you too.”

This was seconds before dinner.

“James, I love you.” You whispered, watching him giving you a grin before he stuffed the meatball into his mouth.

“Wow, I'm so loved today. It’s the secon- no, third time you’ve said ‘I love you’ to me today.” He grinned, heart bursting with love. “You know I love you too.”

This was mid-dinner.

“I love you so much, James.”

Bucky was getting suspicious of you. Were you hiding something, perhaps cheating on him? For there were no reasons for you to keep telling him you loved him even though he knew how much you loved him and vice versa.

“I love you,” you kissed his knuckles, “this might be the last time I get to say I love you, James.”

His eyebrows furrowed at your statement, mouth parting to question what you meant. Before he could voice out something, the world faded into nothingness.

A thin film of blurriness clouded his eyes when he opened them, Bucky had this feeling like he was drowning in a swamp and his whole body was bound.

Blinking furiously, he regained his vision. You were sitting on a chair leaning forwards while looking at him endearingly, your elbows propped on your knees, palms supporting your chin.

“Hello, my love,” you were smiling oh so sweetly. The same smile that got him mesmerized and head over heels, except this time he didn’t feel the warm fuzzy feeling exploding in his chest, this time it was the goosebumps crawling on his arms and the chill creeping up his spine.

Now everything made sense, every single of his questions was answered.

You looked down at his body, the one that was once full of life, full of love. You watched as his glassy blue eyes etched with fear quickly reduced into this grey lifeless orbs, still pretty but lacking the element of a beautiful soul.

You weep for him, mourn for him. Mourning the short duration of love shared between the both of you. Mourning for yourself, for falling too hard. Mourning for him who kept you always in his heart.

To be honest, you were a little hesitant to end his life, he was better than the last one. He was perfect, warm, kind, loving, gentle, but not perfect enough. He simply did not reach your expectations, and you, could not bear imperfections, even the slightest. The answer to his downfall was pretty easy, he was too close to the ugly truth. And despite you knowing his love for you outweighs his doubt and fear in you, you simply couldn’t risk it.

Your love for perfection exceeds your love for him.

The melodious music of your ringtone echoed in the ample space of the basement, you brought up your phone to your ears as you answered the call.

“Mrs. Lockwood? Yes. Of course. I did. No no no, I’ll do it for you this time. He would definitely taste delicious I assure you.”

Time to get to work, you sighed as you stood there with a white dress splattered with blood. How artistic, you thought.

You always loved this part of the process, you’d wear the whitest piece of dress you own whenever you work with your projects.

You loved how the blood peppered your clothes, forming blossoms of dark red flowers on the fabric.

You kept every single piece of them, because no two are the same. Every one of them tells a story, of men and women who loved you and who you loved, of those who were once a body with a soul.

Wiping away the tears rolling down your cheeks, you gave Bucky one last loving look and the blade of your butcher knife came in contact with his once pink but now pale skin as you hummed, the sound bouncing off the walls of the basement, forming echoes.

A few blocks away, a baby cried, body covered in mucus. The tiny infant cried, each time louder than the previous, wailing his lungs out, as if mourning. For one soul born, another reaped.

[amjustagirl]

Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven. ~ eight.

Word Count: 2.3k 

Summary: Being with Miya Atsumu is like chasing a storm - equal parts exhilaration and danger. After all, it’s impossible to tame a storm. 

Notes: Multipart fic, slow burn. Updates to come soon (and dw, fic’s completed, so you won’t be left hanging ^^)

Masterlist here

AO3 Link here

‘You sure you want the job?’ Miya Osamu asks her when she turns up at his shop, application in hand, responding to the advertisement in Onigiri Miya’s window for part time staff -  general help needed, ability to ride a scooter a plus point - it had read. 

There are only fifteen seats in Onigiri Miya, and hardly any space for her to fit her backpack between her knees, but sunlight streams in invitingly from the glass shop front and there is a faint smell of grilled rice and fried fish that reminds her of weekly lunches at her grandparents’ home.  

‘Yes’, she answers, gesturing with her thumb at her scooter parked outside the shop. ‘I think I’m a good fit for this job’. The corner of Miya Osamu’s mouth lifts ever so slightly, and he leans forward in his seat, hand extended to her.  

‘Welcome to Onigiri Miya then’, he says before proceeding to brisk walk her through the ins and outs of the shop, the scope of her responsibilities, work schedule and (most importantly) her wage, leaving her head spinning at the end of the impromptu briefing. Miya Osamu seems passionate about his craft, his face brightening up with enthusiasm when he talks her through the various onigiris he sells, the type of rice he buys (from a boutique rice farmer in Hyogo, apparently), and he’s generous enough to offer her a decent wage, more than what she could be making working in a combini. 

She stands by her bike on the roadside, tilting her face to the setting sun. There is the faintest smell of rain in the air. 

She soon falls into the rhythm of Onigiri Miya. 

Osamu is strangely territorial over food preparation, so her tasks in the kitchen are mainly limited to washing rice (thrice in clean water, drained thoroughly) and doling out cups of tea and bowls of soup. When he finds out that she’s studying accountancy at Osaka University, he immediately places her in charge of the cash register (and later, in charge of their books). Her scooter comes in handy when he needs her to do urgent stock runs or deliveries to customers. 

She learns the name of their regular customers - Abe-san, who only ever orders salmon onigiris with a side of pork bone soup. Kawasaki-san, who spends half her meal complaining about her aches and pains to a sympathetic Osamu. Mina-san, who turns up every day for breakfast after Osamu includes spam onigiri on his menu after he overhears that she misses her hometown of Okinawa.  

Osamu calls her over at the end of her shift on a busy Saturday night. ‘I’ve a large order for an old customer of mine. D’you think you could help deliver it?’ 

There is a gleam in his eye that she does not quite like.  

‘You sound like you’re sending me out to slaughter’ she comments half-jokingly, to which he responds with an amused shrug of his shoulder. She considers whether it’s bad form to throw her shoe at her boss’s head, but decides not to waste her time. So she shoulders the large sack of food, heading off on her scooter to a neat apartment building in a quiet neighbourhood.

Well – it would have been a quiet neighbourhood but for the music blasted from the top floor of her destination. She has to cover her ears the minute the elevator opens and wonders if their neighbours are deaf or dead because there is no way otherwise the apartment wouldn’t have copped a noise complaint. Grimacing at the tape over the doorbell, she knocks politely on the door. 

There is no response. 

She knocks once more, less politely this time, but still the door does not open. ‘Hello, your delivery is here!’ she calls firmly, slamming her fist down on the sturdy wooden door. 

There is still no response.  

She’s about to turn around when the door crashes open and a blonde head pops out. Her jaw falls open because standing before her is the spitting image of her boss that just sent her out with this order, albeit blonde and ever so slightly broader.  

‘You’re not ‘Samu, but you’re pretty’, he leers, leaning against the doorway. 

She’s tempted to deck him but she’s pretty sure that would mean losing her job. So reminding herself that all that’s standing between her and her bed is this delivery, she bites her tongue and extends the bag of food to him. ‘Your order, sir. Payment please.’ 

‘Didn’t ‘Samu mention that I don’t need to pay?’ The blonde Osamu replica tugs the bag of food towards him, frowning when she refuses to let go. 

‘Not that I know of - and I can’t let you have your order unless you pay for it’, she answers firmly, foot against the door. 

He straightens into his height in a thinly veiled attempt to intimidate her - and while he’s at least six foot of solid muscle from what she can see, it’s thanks to years of working in her father’s shop with men at least a full head taller and broader than her that she’s not afraid to tip her chin up at him with her widest, sharpest grin until he looks away to draw out a couple of thousand yen bills from his pocket, enough to cover the bill. 

‘Fine, fine - tell ‘Samu he wins’, he grumbles, slamming the door in her face. 

She waits until she’s back at her scooter and a good distance away from the apartment before she dials Osamu’s number. 

‘What was that?’ she asks without preamble when he picks up.  

‘What was what?’ Osamu answers, sounding uncharacteristically amused. 

‘Don’t play cute with me! Did you just make me deliver food to your brother?’ 

‘My twin actually’, and he ignores her squawk of indignation. ’Did he pay up?’

‘What do you take me for - of course! I didn’t let go of the food until he did.’

‘Huh’, Osamu responds, sounding surprised. ‘That’s the first time he actually gave in’. And with that, he laughs merrily and hangs up on her. 

She shrugs it off as one of her boss’s weird quirks. 

Except it doesn’t stop as being a weird quirk but turns into an annoying habit. 

Atsumu quickly becomes a regular customer (she learns during one of the twins’ many bickering sessions that he’s back in Osaka after several competitions), and Osamu latches on pretty fast that she’s far better than he is at forcing Atsumu to pay for the food he eats, so he sics her on Atsumu every time the blonde setter shows up at the shop for a meal. 

‘Pay up’ she orders Atsumu for the fourth time this week. Her tone gives no berth for refusal so Atsumu reaches for his pockets even as he grumbles his complaints about ‘cowardly scrubs’ and ‘ crazy bitches’ at a grinning Osamu. 

‘You should give me a raise for managing your brother’, she complains to Osamu later, and though he raises an eyebrow at her, to her surprise, he does exactly that. 

Osamu proceeds to take advantage of said raise to send her to man their stand at MSBY’s first match of the season, armed with a few hundred onigiris. Business is brisk, but she finds her attention diverted by the sheer speed of the plays and the way the players all seem to have wings in their feet. 

Atsumu in particular catches her eye. Osamu explained to her over a slow day at work about volleyball positions and basic plays, and he boasted about Atsumu’s talent as a setter, how ‘he always takes the best care of his spikers’. Watching him now, even to her untrained eye, she can see how much thought he puts into each of his plays - the way he tricks the blockers to let his spikers fly high above them, the quick side stepping of increasingly frustrated attackers, the dump shots at the most unexpected of times. 

She’s impressed, though she doesn’t want to admit it - because Atsumu has the personality of a puddle of muddy rainwater, and she's fairly sure he'd never let her hear the end of it if he ever finds out. 

So it isn’t surprising when she spots him being hassled by a large gaggle of his fan girls outside the sports hall. They’re hanging off his arms begging him for autographs - and probably something much less innocent from the way his eyes are bugging out of his head. It’s tempting to walk away from him – it’s not as if he’s been particularly nice to her after all, but a few of the more rabid fan girls seem to get a little  too  close for comfort and she figures even he doesn’t deserve that . Plus he probably can’t just shove them off because that might cause yet another PR debacle that she and Osamu have become accustomed seeing in the news, so she breathes a sigh through her nose, cursing her conscience.   

‘Oi asshat, your ride’s here’, she shouts as loudly as she can, shouldering her way to the center of the crowd. His fan girls stare in stunned silence, but Atsumu catches on after she shoves her spare helmet into his chest, and grabbing her wrist for dear life, they sprint all the way to her scooter.  

‘Don’t tell me you’ve never ridden before’, she snaps as he fiddles helplessly at his helmet. 

‘Of course, I have, what d’you take me for, some scrub?’ he retorts when he manages to strap his it on to his head. Her scooter groans under his weight. 

Yes - she itches to retort, because he’s clearly lying. He fights to keep upright as she loops her way through bends on the road and maintains a white knuckled grip on the back of his seat until she comes to a stop two streets away where his fan girls are unlikely to see him. 

‘So, where to?’ she asks him as he wheezes, trying to catch his breath. ‘I could let you off here, or we could grab some food - your choice.’ 

‘Eh… Could we drop by 7-11?’ he chuckles sheepishly. 

‘Really? You want me to take you to a  combini  when your brother literally owns a restaurant?’ 

‘I’m cravin’ an egg mayo sandwich, what’s wrong with that?!’ he yells as she revs off, and she laughs when he squeaks and clings on to her waist. 

They end up at a combini anyway. Atsumu buys his egg mayo sandwich. And a bucket load of oden. And a bagful of karaage. And two pudding cups (singly packed, none of the triple cup kind for him  thank you very much). At least he steers clear of the onigiri section, because Osamu might explode otherwise if he ever finds out. 

‘You’re paying the fine if my bike gets impounded’ she tells him sourly.

‘Relax - it’ll be fine’, he waves his hand airily at her. ‘’Sides, what’s a girl like you doing with a bike?’

‘A girl like me?’ she echoes, tilting her head in confusion. 

‘Y’know - kinda square and all? I assumed so, since ‘Samu mentioned you’re studying to be an accountant’, he clarifies through a mouthful of food. 

‘Square?! ’ she mouths at him, outraged, and he grins unrepentantly back at her, crunching on karaage. She abandons her annoyance to scoot back to avoid the ensuing spray of crumbs. 

‘Do you want me to answer seriously, or was that a rhetorical question, gross pig?’ 

 ‘Please, I’m always serious, darlin’, he drawls. 

She steals a fishcake from him in retaliation and he tries to rap her knuckles with his sandwich. They only settle down when the combini staff glare at them mildly in reproof. 

‘I’ve always wanted to ride a bike ‘cos it seemed like it allowed its rider to be free’, she says, shooting a fond look through the window at her own scooter, rusty and old it may be. 

‘I mean it allows you to get from one place to another, what’s so special about that?’ he asks, cocking his head in confusion.  

‘Mm…well, not just that. You see, when I was younger, I used to be so jealous of my older brothers getting to ride their motorbikes. They refused to let me borrow it, so I stole it one day when they weren’t looking and took off - but because I was so excited, I hit the thrusters so hard on the way up a hill that I ended up crashing on the way down. But right before I crashed, there was a moment when I was on the top of the world with the wind in my face - it was the first time I truly felt  alive .’ 

 She closes her eyes at the memory, her mouth lifting into a smile. ‘And that’s what I become addicted to - chasing that feeling of being completely unfettered from the world, like a bird in the sky. 

He stares at her meditatively, as though she’s a puzzle he can’t quite solve.

‘What!’ she exclaims, the tips of her ears flushing pink, suddenly self-conscious. 

‘Nothin’, darlin’. Just thought that you’re more interesting than I thought’. Ignoring her indignant ‘ what?!’ , he stands up, brushing the crumbs off his lap. ‘Shall we get goin’? It’s about to rain.’ 

 The ride back to his apartment passes in a blur of streetlights and gathering rain clouds, but thankfully it’s not as unpleasant as it was before as Atsumu eases into his seat, moving with her when she drops into a bend, loosening his hands on her waist. Still, she suspects it’s all bravado, as he stumbles stiff legged off the bike when they reach his apartment. 

But as to be expected from a seasoned athlete used to the spotlight, he manages to plaster on a grin, cocky and charming enough to make her blush. 

‘Thanks for the ride’, he says. ‘I wouldn’t mind coming out again with you for a ride sometime’. 

Then he smiles at her, and it’s soft, shorn of the sharp edges she’s used to seeing. It plants an unfamiliar seed of warmth in her core that survives her race home against the storm.

[maddiewritesstucky]

Playing with babies? 🥺 (I’m not even a kid person... and yet...)

...Nonnie, you have no way of knowing this, but you have hit me where it counts.

FRESH. HELL. 😩

Alright, let’s do this. Gird your ovaries and your brovaries and whatever else you need to, you just asked an ECE teacher to pop off about her softest Steve being good with babies 😭

Silver Steve is about to get paternal as fuck 💕

Bucky has spent enough time around Steve to know that Steve likes children. Not in a ‘yeah they’re okay, I can tolerate them’ kind of way - but a real, active enjoyment of them 

He sees it in the way Steve’s smile goes all gooey for babies passing by them in strollers or in close proximity to them when they’re out in cafes; when Steve makes silly faces at them in line at grocery stores to hear them laugh, and when he makes conversation with the braver little ones who wander over their way and play nearby when they’re spending time in the park 

Steve is good with children, and so clearly loves being around them  

But that does not prepare Bucky for the devastating reality of witnessing Steve actually playing with a child, when he lets himself into Steve’s house on a regular Thursday afternoon with the spare key Steve gave him...and finds Steve mid tea-party with the neighbours 18month old daughter

“What’s going on in here?” Bucky’s entire insides turn to mush as he takes in the scene before him - Steve cross-legged on the floor, holding the world’s smallest tea cup, whilst Leah babbles away, swinging her teapot around in the vague direction of Steve’s cup

Steve looks up at the sound of his voice and there’s a big, soft smile on his face - although Bucky knows it was already firmly in place before he walked in - and then Steve turns his attention back to Leah for a moment to cue her with a happy gasp of “Oh, Bucky’s here! Yay!” before he starts talking to Bucky

“Sweetheart, did you get my text? This was really last minute, Shelby had to go pick up Alistair ‘cause his car broke down on the way home from work, and she asked if I could just watch Leah for a while, they shouldn’t be too long—”

Steve is rattling off his explanation, but all Bucky can focus on is the way Leah has plonked herself in Steve’s lap and grabbed one of his hands to investigate how much bigger it is than her own

Steve’s letting her trace the lines of his palm with her tiny fingers and his other hand is absently sweeping through her almost-curls, and it all just strikes a very new, very Significant chord within Bucky 

“I don’t mind at all,” Bucky goes to join them on the floor, pecking a soft kiss to Steve’s temple and saying hi to Leah, who is far too interested in the span of Steve’s fingers to care about his presence much

Bucky already knew that Steve has a good relationship with this young family next door, knows that Steve has babysit for them on occasion when they’ve been in a bind. Bucky’s even met them a few times himself when Steve’s been talking to them over the fence, and the time Alistair came to borrow Steve’s weed eater, and once when Bucky made way too many cookies and Steve suggested they take some next door

So he’s seen Steve interact with Leah before, in fleeting situations. But this is the first time he’s really watched how Steve is with this tiny person, and it’s...magic

Steve is effortless, making conversation with Leah that has her genuinely lighting up, even though Bucky only understands maybe every fourth word she says. Steve is so animated, laughing at smiling right back at her when she cues him to, entirely and joyously being part of this minimally comprehensible exchange

Steve is endlessly patient, following Leah out to the back yard and crouching in the grass next to her; talking about the trail of ants she’s spotted, gently reminding her that her hands are too strong to touch them, so it’s kinder to just look

Steve is comforting, when Leah starts to get noticeably anxious over how long it’s taking for her parents to come back. Steve quietly offers his open arms, palms up, waiting for her to accept the invitation before he scoops her up and holds her close against his chest, rubbing her back soothingly and telling her she’s safe and it’s okay to miss Mom and Dad, because they’ll be back soon 

Bucky’s heart is cracked open wider than he ever thought possible

Of course he’s pictured a future with Steve, they’re at that point now where there’s a sense of ‘we’re in this, this is going somewhere good.’ But watching Steve with Leah, watching his radiant kindness and inherent gentleness and love just pour out of him for this child who isn’t even his...Bucky suddenly knows in a very deep and real way, that he wants this future with Steve 

It’s a quiet, peaceful sort of realization. He knows this is something he doesn’t have to rush, knows that Steve is every bit as invested as he is, and he’s safe to let things unfold in their right time 

...But he also knows, with that same quiet sense of ‘right’ that there’s a step he’s ready for right now, and he’s pretty sure Steve is there too 

He waits until that night, long after Leah has been picked up by her very grateful parents; after he and Steve have had dinner, when they’re laying together on the couch, his head on Steve’s chest while they half-watch a documentary about the Loch Ness monster

Bucky tips his head up, shuffling himself until he can properly see Steve’s face.

“Hey Steve?” he says softly. Steve hums a ‘mm?’ drawing his fingertips sleepily up and down Bucky’s spine, and Bucky waits for Steve to look at him before he speaks again.

“...Do you wanna live together?”

Steve looks at him for a moment, and then he’s reaching for the remote to switch off the TV and turning his whole, very-suddenly-awake attention on Bucky

“Are you...is this you asking, or is this hypothetical?”

Bucky knows him well enough now to know the almost-smile sparking at the corners of Steve’s lips and his eyes is him trying to rein himself in, to not get over-excited before he has all the information

It just makes Bucky’s own happiness bubble up even brighter

“I’m asking, Steve,” he smiles, shifting so he’s on top of Steve, “...do you want to live with me?”

Steve’s face breaks out into an expression of pure joy, and he cups Bucky’s face in his hands to pull him down into a kiss

“Oh my god, sweetheart...yes, I do want that, I want that so much,” he kisses his joy all over Bucky’s cheeks, his nose, his forehead, “have you thought about where? Do you want to move in here, or did you want to find a place somewhere together...?”

“I want to live here, this is...” home, is what Bucky wants to say, because it’s true - he’s got a drawer in the bathroom and a bedside table in the bedroom. Steve keeps his favourite kind of coffee in the cupboard all his favourite snacks, and Bucky’s favourite scented soap in the bathroom. There’s a set of Bucky’s clothes here and some of his books and he always forgets his laptop charger here

But more than that, this is the place where Bucky feels most at ease. He walks in the door and he feels his whole body physically relax, like it knows it’s somewhere safe

This is the couch where Steve holds him in the evenings, and over at the dining table is where they exchanged their very first (rather comical) I love you’s

The kitchen is where Steve taught Bucky how to make the perfect French toast, and the bedroom is where Bucky learns time and time again just how much his body is capable of feeling, and right here in this living room, not four hours ago, is where Bucky came to know deep down in his soul that his ‘forever’ looks just like Steve Rogers

This is home, so that’s exactly what Bucky says

Steve wraps him up tight in his arms and smiles so big into the kisses he plants on Bucky’s face, and he points out that Bucky’s already got a key... Steve has just been quietly holding out for him to want to use it every day 💕

[1a-imagines]

No excuses

》 Bakugo x reader

》 Word count: 5k

》 Overview: You were childhood enemies who always ended up stuck together, you were neighbours, got put in all the same classes, ended up living together in the UA dorms. Overtime you grew to accept each others company, maybe even enjoy it. So what happens when your new work lives separate you for the first time?

Every day was lacklustre.

You weren't sure what; but something was missing. Ever since you went pro and moved into your own apartment you felt as though your life lacked something. There was an empty hole but you just weren't sure what used to be there.

Perhaps you just missed those simple UA days? Being surrounded with your friends day and night and not having to worry about all the things pro heroes had to worry about? There was no doubt it was a much less stressful time.

Or maybe it was the fact you no longer had your family breathing down your neck every second of the day? You were an adult now and that came with a whole new sense of freedom. Maybe what you were missing was being surrounded by your loved ones all the time? You lived alone in your new apartment and it was a big difference in contrast to the UA dorms you lived in for three years.

You thought you'd enjoy the quiet but it turns out you found the silence painful. It was more peircing to your ears than any yelling or screaming you had in the dorms.

No matter how much you wondered what was missing you just couldn't seem to place your finger on it. It's not like you weren't  keeping in touch with your friends and family. They called everyday, you certainly weren't lonely. So why was your heart still yearned for something... maybe even for someone?

With a sigh, you dried the last plate of the bunch and put it away. Finally done with your chores for the day. You dried your hands and went over to check your phone that had been thrown onto the couch. You saw a text notification pop up.

Blastard: (1 new message)

Oi! Idiot! Are you dead yet? I haven't heard from you in weeks!

You couldn't help but chuckle at his unique way of showing worry, though it would be a lie to say you weren't used to it by now. It was such a typical Bakugo move. You shook your head before typing out a reply.

Bad news for you, I live!

You hit send before throwing your phone back down. You felt awfully giddy about him texting you, which was a strange feeling, usually you annoyed the hell out of each other. As weird as it was; it had been awhile since you'd last spoken to him.

Maybe you were just happy he hadn't completely forgotten you exsisted, you figured once you went your seperate ways that you'd probably never talk again; unless it was work related.

You had grown up together, always forced to be around each other no matter how much you despised it. You were neighbours, you didn't go to the same schools, but you'd always hear him yelling through the walls whenever he was home, you'd always pass each other when leaving your houses on the morning, and to your 10 year old self? There was no worse way to start off your day than his stupid face being the first thing you see when leaving your home.

It was like you couldn't get through a day without running into him at least once.

Then you both ended up in the same highschool, UA, which meant you walked the same route everyday as well as being in all the same classes. Then you lived in dorms together for three years, which meant you were around your childhood enemy almost every minute of everyday.

It was like the universe was trying to torture you both.

You hated each other as kids, always getting into scrapes and arguments, but as you got older the hate died down into more of a friendly rivalry. You bickered non stop but you also grew to enjoy all those comebacks and quick retorts, it was like a never ending game of 'who can make the best comeback/insult'. It even made you laugh at times.

Eventually, somewhere during your UA days, you both got to a point where you could actually admit you were friends.

But after being stuck together for so long? You'd think you would be happy to have some peace and quiet around here. You no longer had to deal with explosions going off or yelling every 5 seconds. No yelling from downstairs or next door, no insults or smartmouthed comments.

Though, even you had to admit he had matured a lot since you were kids, he still kept true to his grouchy self, but he was no where near as violent or bad tempered. He'd calmed down a lot as you grew into adults and you were proud of him for coming so far.

You were about to go take a bath to relax after cleaning all day, but when you saw your phone light up again you couldn't stop yourself from diving for it.

Blastard: (1 new message)

The fuck do you mean? That's not bad news for me dumbass.

It was a little weird for him not to give a snarky reply but it's possible hero work was tiring him out as much as it had been tiring you out. You were about to tell him it was just a joke but then another message came through,

Blastard: (1 new message)

Have you been eating alright? I know you can't cook for shit and you're living alone now.

Your eyes softened at the message, a goofy smile spreading across your lips. Not only had he made an effort to message you first, something he rarely did, but he also was showing care for you? Your cheeks heated up and you took a second to press your face into a pillow, a way to collect yourself before you replied.

Aw, you care about me?~

I've been eating fine! Instant ramen exists for a reason! It's for people like me who "can't cook for shit" :P

His next reply was almost instant, it scared you how quick your phone was to sound with another notification.

Blastard: (1 new message)

Don't fucking tell me you've been living off of instant ramen this whole time-

You felt too shy to admit to the truth. It was true you hadn't been eating great since you had been living alone. Your job was so demanding you didn't have time to cook. Choosing fast options over home cooked meals had been your way of living for the past few weeks and admitting to it felt like a punch to your pride.

Blastard: (1 new message)

That's it, I'm coming over to make you an actual meal tonight. See you at 6.

You did a double take at the response.  There was clearly no room to argue.

"He's coming over!?" You jumped up in a panic at your sudden self invited guest. Lucky for him you had a rare night off work, and lucky for you, you had spent the day cleaning up. Maybe it'll look like you have this whole "adulting" thing down.

After glancing at the time and seeing it was only 4pm you threw your phone down. You needed to freshen up before he came over.

For some reason you felt this pressure to look good in front of him? But you had known him since you were little kids! He wouldn't care, he's seen you look much worse, so why did you care about looking good this time around? You shook your head, sick of all this over thinking and went to take a quick bath. Once you were done you dried your hair and threw on a fresh pair of clothes.

You felt excited to see him again and almost-... Nervous? It was a strange sensation, you shouldn't be feeling nervous to see him, you used to see him everyday. Maybe it was because this would be the first time you'd be spending time alone in your new home? Yeah, that must be it!

Glancing up at the time you still had half an hour until he arrived. You decided to take your mind off of all your swirling thoughts by mindlessly scrolling through your phone until your door bell finally rang.

You pushed yourself up with a small groan. You walked to your front door, your heart raced in your chest knowing who was on the otherside of the door. You took a deep breath through your nose before opening the door to see your familiar, scowling, friend. He stood there, a bag in his right hand and foot tapping on the floor as if he had been waiting ages for you to open the door for him.

"Kat! Long time no see!" You beamed up at him only for him to roll his eyes and brush past you. "Shut up and show me where your kitchen is, you need a proper meal."

You couldn't help but smile as you noticed the bag he carried was filled with fresh groceries. He was alway so bad with words but it was actions like this that made you see how much he really cared about you.

"Through there." You nodded your head toward an opening and followed him through after shutting the door. He put all the ingredients down and you leaned back against the counter watching him prepare the food. "What? No 'Hi Y/n, how have you been?' You cut right to the chase as always." You chuckled softly to yourself earning a glare from the blond as you attempted to imitate his voice.

"First of all! I don't sound like that! Second of all, I'm only here because you can't take care of yourself." He scoffed before adding. "Still annoying as always."

'Why was I missing him again?' You huffed, blowing some hair from your face in the process. "So! Chef! What are we having?"

"Curry." Was his quick reply as he began to lay out and cut up the ingredients. You hummed in delight at the thought of homemade curry. It had been a while since you had a good home cooked meal. Your family sometimes brought you leftover foods knowing how busy you were with work, but they couldn't come feed you everyday. You were an adult now and you needed to learn to cope on your own! Even with a busy career life.

"You remember what I like?" You asked, your eyes glimmering with an emotion he couldn't quite tell, in order to avoid looking at your face he kept himself busy with making dinner.

"I've known you for over 10 years, just because I haven't seen you for a few months doesn't mean I'm going to forget everything about you, idiot." He tutted, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You leaned back against the counter beside him, your lips twisted into a soft frown.

"A few months huh? It feels like longer..."

You did not intend for him to hear that but he did, and honestly? He agreed.

Without you around to annoy him every hour of the day, things just seemed to go by painstakingly slow. Without you his days were boring, and as much as he hated to admit it, your stubbornness, your quick remarks and sarcastic comebacks, as much as they annoyed him, they added a certain spice to his life.

They kept him on his toes, he liked the challenges you gave him, whether it was getting the last word, winning against you in training or just coming up with the best insulting nickname. He couldn't believe he actually missed it all, but he did, and honestly? This whole dinner thing had just been an excuse to see you again.

He missed you.

"Tch, feels like not long enough." He grumbled as he moved over to the stove to turn it on. You sent him a cocky grin, shifting your weight onto your other foot. "Oh yeah? Then why were you so quick to come over here?" You hummed, tilting your head. He knew you were teasing him, he could tell by the way the words melted from your lips like butter, you were practically purring as you grinned at him. It reminded him of a cat.

He decided not to dignify you with a repsonce and you took that as a sign of victory. You giggled before turning to grab a drink from the fridge. You cracked open a can of soda and upon hearing the unmistakable fizzing noise Bakugo's head shot around to you, his eyebrows creased together in distaste. "You shouldn't be drinking that shit!" He barked at you.

"Oh come on! I've cut right back on the junk food. Look!" You threw the fridge door open to display the variety of fruits and vegetables in front of him. "I've been really healthy! I've even been doing a lot more weight training! Soon I'll be as strong as you! Maybe even more so!" You smirked, he wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look from your face. You shut the fridge door with your foot before taking another swig of your soda.

Bakugo scoffed, "You wish! You'll have to work a lot harder before you can even dream of matching up to my strength!" He sent you a toothy grin as he watched your shoulders deflate, eyes narrowing up at him.

Bakugo continued to put the chopped up ingredients into the pan, "Why have you been eating instant ramen this whole time if you have all that shit anyway?"

You turned your head away, cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. It took a lot to swallow down your pride enough to mutter the next words. "You know I can't cook very well." It was painful to admit you were an adult with the cooking capabilities of a child. Between school and work placements you just never found the time to practise new recipes. Not to mention the fact your family usually cooked a lot of meals for you.

You had contemplated practising some recipes in the past but something always manages to come up! You knew working as a pro was going to be hard, that you'd be busy every day, but you didn't know it would consume your life to this extent.

Without another word you walked towards the living room. "Let me know when dinner is ready!" You sent him a cheeky grin as you left. Bakugo turned back to the food, grumbling something about how he wasn't a damn slave, despite being the one who offered his services in the first place.

Looking around, he finally had time to take in the room, he hadn't seen it since you first moved in and bugged him and kirishima to help move boxes. The room was well decorated, not a thing out of place. Despite the apartment being pretty small you had done well to make it homely.

As he made the curry, he added in some spices and when he picked up the shaker labelled "Extremely hot", He smirked. He recalled the good ol' days in the UA dorms. He sometimes went out of his way to spike your food with hot spices. Your face was always priceless! The thought crossed his mind to do it again. After all, it wouldn't affect him, he loved spices and, unlike you, they didn't turn his face red.

He sighed before shaking his head. You were both grown up now, and you needed to eat a proper meal. He hated to even think about it but he did care for you. More than he would like to admit. He always thought once he went pro and finally got away from you, this "curse" you two shared of always being stuck together wherever you went would disappear, and he would be happy.

But he wasn't, somewhere down the damn line he has gotten used to your annoying presence, he had grown to like your quick remarks, how you never backed down from him, you weren't afraid to speak you mind or put him in his place, and as much as all those qualities used to bug the shit out of him as a kid, he had grown to respect them, even-... love them?

He clenched his teeth when he felt his cheeks heating up. God, he hated this. He wasn't cut out for this lifestyle! Why was he even here!? He could be out training! Not pining over his childhood enemy! The curry sauce started to bubble over in the pan and he cursed to himself, once again he was so distracted with thoughts of you that he couldn't concentrate on the task at hand!

He finished making the food, doing everything he could not to let his mind wander back to thoughts of you. He grabbed a few plates before putting the rice and curry onto them. He yelled through to you that the food was done, "I'm only in the next room! You don't have to yell so loud!" He huffed in amusement, your words were ironic considering your volume matched his. He smiled at your never ending bite, you always had something to say.

Such a smartass. He shouldn't enjoy it as much as he did.

You came through, throwing the empty soda can into the trash as you passed and sat down in the seat beside him. You hummed in delight, "Smells so good!!"

"Of course it does! I made it!" He grinned, taking a bite. While the lack of extreme spice was underwhelming for him, he knew you would like it. Your face twisted into distaste at his smugness, "I forgot to never stroke your fat ego."

He growled, ready to yell at you for the remark but when he saw you take the first bite of food his anger was forgotten.

Your eyes lit up like fireworks on a cold winter night. "I also forgot how crazy good of a cook you are!" You beamed, happily digging into the curry. His features softened, something about seeing you enjoy his food so much felt really good. He almost forgot to eat himself as he watched you stuff your face. You had gotten some rice stuck to your cheek as you shoveled the dish into your mouth. It was so stupidly cute, a soft smile graced his lips.

You caught him staring, it was rare to see him smile, no cocky grin or smirk, it was a real smile. Soft, relaxed, happy. You thought your heart was going to jump out of mouth. You did not expect that sight when you looked up from your food.

You gulped, not because there was food in your mouth, but because the atmosphere had suddenly changed. There was an invisible weight ontop of you both, crushing you.

"What…?" You asked quietly, hiding your face behind your hair. He snapped out of it, realising he'd been caught he froze, his heart skipped a beat. However, there was no time for him to get embarrassed because next thing he knew he was throwing a towel at you "You got rice all over your face, idiot! Wipe it off! You look stupid!"

You grumbled as the fabric hit your face, yet complied and wiped your lips clean. You went back to eating, this time more carefully so you didn't make a mess. You noted the mild spices but didn't comment on them. It was unusual for Bakugo to not fire up his dishes with spice. The decision to make the curry mild definately wasnt for his own benifit. He'd done it for you.

It made you smile, and as much as you wanted to thank him for it you figured he wouldn't want you bringing up his strangely nice gesture since he had been so silent about it.

During the dinner you talked about your new work lives, how you'd been coping living alone, anything that came to mind. Of course, that came with a variety of witty comments and snarky comebacks, but it was just how you liked it. It was how it had always been, how you always wanted it to be.

Once the plates were clean you stood up, reaching over to grab his plate so you could clean up but his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. You paused, looking up to meet his eyes. "I'll help clean." He said, picking up his plate and taking it to the sink. You smiled, following him with your own plate.

"Wow, cooking and cleaning? Has anyone ever told you that you'd be a perfect house wife?" You smirked at him as he filled up the sink with soap and water.

"At least I can cook." He shot back without missing a beat. You laughed st the remark, nudging his side as you pushed your wasy in front of the sink. You continued to chat as you cleaned up, you washed as he dried.

As you finished up scrubbing the last dish Bakugo made a comment about you eating like a pig at dinner which, in return, made you splashed his face using soapy dish water.

He growled when he felt the droplets soaking his face and hair, but hearing your laughter made it hard to stay his usual, grumpy self. Instead he settled for dipping his fingers into the water and flicking you back.

Your face scrunched up, eyes closing to avoid any soap suds getting in your eyes.

You took his reciprocation as a declaration of war and it soon turned into a mini, kitchen water fight. Laughter filled the once quiet apartment as you fought each other.

For a moment it didn't feel like you lived alone, for the first time in months you felt like that empty space in your life had been filled again.

You had to stop the water fight before you soaked the kitchen as well as each other. As fun as it was you didn't want to have to clean up for the third time today.

Once all the dishes were put away and you dried yoursleved using a spare towel; Bakugo narrowed his eyes at the front door.

He wasn't sure if he should go, a part of him didn't want to. He only came over to make you dinner, now that was over he had no reason to stay. Should he make up some bullshit excuse to stay? He didn't want you teasing him again.

Despite taking a few minutes to think up an excuse to stay, he came up with nothing. Grumbling to himself he kicked his foot against the ground and turned around to you, ready to say goodbye.

His eyes widened upon landing on you, you held up two gaming controllers, a grin on your lips as you pushed one towards him. "Wanna try finally beating me at mario kart?"

"What are you talking about! I win all the time!" He rolled his eyes and snatched a controller from your hands, taking on your challenge. He felt the weight lift from his shoulders, you were giving him a reason to stay longer and he wasn't about to turn that down.

"You beat me at super smash bros! But never mario kart!" You backfired, plopping down onto the couch as the console fired up.

"Then let's play super smash bros!"

"We do not play that in this household!" You stomped your foot at the thought of the game you could never beat him at. Bakugo scoffed and sat next to you. "You're such a fucking sore loser!"

You forced a laugh before sending him a glare, leaning closer to him. You reaction must have amused him as he smirked at you. "I do not want to hear that from you!"

"Shut up and let's play!" The first round started up, the familiar countdown sound ringing in your ears. You'd like to say things started pretty civil, but It didn't take long for you to start shoving each other as you battled for first place. There was a lot of yelling, combined with a lot of laughter and cheering. It was the most lively your apartment had ever felt, in just one night Bakugo was able to change all of that.

A few rounds turned into hours. You didn't even notice how high up the moon was in the sky. You were too busy enjoying each other's company, having more fun than either of you had experienced in months.

You shot out of your seat pumping your fist into the air as you passed the finish line in first place once again.

"HAH! You still can't beat me!” You boasted.

The blond threw the controller down, his teeth clenched tight as he grumbled. “Next time I’m bringing super smash bros!” You sat back down, giggling as you poked his side. “Who's the sore loser now huh? Big baby.” You teased, poking a finger into his side, much like poking a bear with a stick, it was a recipe for disaster.

He growled and jumped to you grabbing your hands to keep them away from prodding him. You started laughing again, squirming and battling with him, determined to keep attacking but your giggle fit made it hard to fight back.

As you were laughing you missed yet another rare smile on his face. He didn't know what was going on with him, maybe he was just in a good mood today? He had taken down a group of robbers earlier when he was on patrol, and taking down villains always felt good.

All he knew was that he never wanted the moment to end, it was nice to hear your stupid laughter again, to see you smiling as you tried to match his strength and fight back. He hadn't even realised that some point during your play fight he had knocked you down onto your back and was hovering over you.

He had always been the stronger of the pair so you lost fairly quickly. His hands pinned yours beside your head. "That was a good fight you put up, but it's still not good enough to match up to me." He smirked down at you

You stuck out her tongue at him, panting as you tried to kick your legs at him. Turns out he had thought ahead and pinned those down too. You huffed through your nose, tasting defeat was bitter.

You stared at each other, as the laughter died down so did the playfulness. The atmosphere became serious. He wasn't sure what it was, but there was some sort of unspoken feeling between you both. He gulped, noting the way your hair was sprawled out on the couch beneath you, creating a halo of hair around your head. Your eyes shone as they stared into his, he had never noticed what a nice colour they were, and your lips- they looked so soft..

There was a pull, an invisible red string tugging you closer to each other and connecting your hearts.

But, you both ignored it. He got off of you and sat back. He ran a hand through his hair, you both avoided eye contact.

Looking out the window Bakugo finally noticed that the moon had long ascended into the night sky. Had he been here that long? God, it must be passed midnight but he felt like he had only been here for an hour. He shook his head and stood up, You watched him with parted lips, your heart racing at the tension.

What was that feeling between you two? It was so strong. Did he feel it too? It was sending your head into a spin.

"I should go." He muttered, he didn't want to go, he really didn't but the words were leaving his mouth before he had time to process them.

He had felt it too, and he didn't know how to react. He hadn't felt anything like it before, it made his heart race, he felt weak and he didn't like it. He knew he felt- something for you? But was it enough to call it love?

You looked up at him, giving him a nod, not like he could see since his back was already turned. You stood up, arms wrapping around yourself as you walked him to the door.

There were so many unspoken words between you. So many feelings left unexpressed. You bit your lip, voice caught in your throat as you watched him silently slip on his shoes. He opened the front door, pausing for a second, hesitating... "See ya."

"Bye." You replied as he closed the door behind him.

The appartment suddenly ran cold, silent, a chill running across your skin. The silence cut through your ears like a sharp blade.

You pulled your arms tighter around yourself. How could you deny it? Having him around again had been amazing, even if just for one afternoon. You despised him as a child, but over time, throughout highschool, through building a silent trust, a friendship had formed, and then-… and then somewhere down the line it turned into more.

No matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, you loved being around him, you had a strong bond, you had watched him grow and become a better person, you had seen each other at your best and at your worst. You had fought each other but also fought with each other. You cared for each other, you annoyed the hell out of each other, you had been through so much together.

He had always been there, even if you didn't want him to be. You had hated him and you had loved him...

You… loved him…

Your eyes widened, "I.. love him." You muttered, saying it out loud made it all the more real. A feeling of wanting to slap yourself silly for being so blind overcame you.

You loved him! Of course you loved him!!You had always been so focused on school and work that you hadn't even noticed you were growing feelings for your childhood rival?

You couldn't let him go again! How many more months until you got to see each other again? You had always somehow ended up stuck together, it felt like he would always be there but now you had witnessed what life was like without him around… you hated it! For the first time in your life, you wanted him around.

You couldn't sit around in your lonely apartment each day now you knew you were in love with that jerk!

"God damnit! Why did it have to be him." You ran to the door and flung it open, not even thinking of shoes as you ran out into the cold night air. "Maybe he didn't get far-"

You rounded the corner before colliding with what you could only assume was a brick wall. You winced, pulling back and rubbing your nose. You looked up, coming face to face with none other than the man himself.

You stared at each other in shock, he came back for you too? This whole scene, these feelings, neither of you could have ever imagined this is where you would've end up.

"I need to tell you something!" You spoke in unison, making you both cringe.

"You first." He crossed his arms stubbornly, wanting to know you were on the same wave as he was and hadn't just ran after him because he left something.

You sighed, rubbing your arm, glancing away for a second to collect yourself. You hadn't thought this far ahead so you had no idea what to say. You sighed, looking up to meet his eyes, the best way would be to face your feelings head on. No going back! Even if he rejects you, at least he would respect you being blunt with it, he hated when people beat around the bush.

"I love you." You said, your head lifted high. His eyes widened at your bold declaration, his tense demeanour dropping. "I wanted to tell you before you disappear for months again. So there you have it, I'm in love with you. Believe me or not I don't care. I just- mmph!" Hands yanked you forward by your hips, smooth lips molded against your own when he head dipped down.

It took a few seconds to reciprocate, but when you did he pulled you closer. Your hands went to his shoulders to steady yourself, your legs felt weak, but that didn't stop you from kissing back.

You smiled into the kiss, you couldn't help it. Not only did the kiss feel great but the way he had pulled you in for it without wasting time with words was just such a Bakugo thing to do.

"I love you too, dumbass." He muttered when he pulled away, You let out a breathy laugh and shook your head. "You have such a way with words~"

"Shut up." You giggled at him before you went back in for another kiss, longer, holding more passion as your years of pent up feelings finally reached the surface. Your heads tilted and turned, hands roaming each other's bodies, his arms wrapped around you, his body heat protecting your bare skin from the chill of the night.

He backed you up agaisnt the wall. His tongue ran across your bottom lip, you weren't sure how long you had been standing there but it felt like you were the only two people in the world.

It was so late not another soul was to be see. It was just you, him and the city lights.

His hand ran down towards your thigh, only for you both to jump back when the distance sound of a car honking ripped through your serentity.

Panting as you stared at each other, almost not believing you had just msde out with each other. You pressed your fingers to your tingling lips. A smile on your face, "So- uh, wanna come inside for a bit?” the mischief in your eyes did not match the innocent smile on your face. He knew exactly what you were planning, "Fuck yes."

And there was no way he was going to turn it down.

[farfromharry]

always | harry holland full series

summary: harry helps your through one of the most challenging times in your life and you couldn’t be more grateful. only for this whole experience to make you realise you were in love with him, but now you had more than just yourself to think about.

word count - 28k

(read individual chapters!)

“I have to go home Harry.” you giggled, trying to pull him towards the door of the house party you were in. He sighed, resting his head on top of yours, swaying you both slowly to the loud, booming music playing in the background. your phone buzzed again in your hand, the vibration alerting you of another text from Nate, and another one that you were going to blatantly ignore.

“ ‘m gonna miss you.” he drunkenly slurred, a giggled bubbling in your throat. you rolled your eyes, practically holding him up.

“Come on, I'm literally taking you home silly.” you had decided on being the designated driver for the night hours ago, right after seeing how harry downed his drink when you got here. you hadn’t particularly felt great all week but harry was so excited about this party, more so that it was for his brothers amazing performance in Spiderman: far from home, and you couldn’t possibly turn down his offer, wanting to support Tom at the same time.

“Do you need some help?” you looked up and made eye contact with Harrison.

“Yes please.” you whined.

With the help of a slightly tipsy Harrison you managed to get Harry into your car, ignoring the now, almost consistent and highly irritating, buzz of your phone. Harry slumped into the passenger seat when you let go of him, laying his head on the window and quickly passing out.

“what am i going to do with you?” you laughed to yourself, looking at your best friend drool on himself like a baby, you clipped his seatbelt into place and closed the door, getting in the driver’s side with a heavy sigh. driving to the large house that the group of lads lived in was a routine for you at this point, you were there with them more often than you were at your own home. This time around though, the short drive was filled with random muttered sentences falling from Harry's mouth every so often, mumbled under his breath in his heavy sleep.

After pulling up outside the house you mentally debated what the best way to get Harry from the car to his bed would be considering he wasn’t going to help. Eventually settling on just having to guide him there with a struggle.

“okay, come on mister, let’s get you to bed.” you hoisted him up out of the car, stumbling slightly as you did so, draping his arm around your shoulder as you led him up to his front door. you unlocked it with your spare key, with much difficulty, and hauled him inside.

“who knew you were this heavy?” you asked rhetorically, closing the door behind you with your foot.

“what are you doing?” you looked up and spotted Sam sitting with his girlfriend in the living room, you smiled sheepishly, ready to apologise for the interruption.

“he’s really drunk, and also really heavy, please help me.” you pouted, your knees basically buckling under Harry’s weight. Sam took pity seeing the drunken Harry cling to you, practically putting all his weight on you, something he knew from experience wasn’t easy to deal with.

Sam wrapped his twin's arm around his shoulder, shooting a quick apology to Elysia, who brushed it off with an amused laugh. 

Sam almost easily helped Harry upstairs, saving you the task of changing him into comfier clothes by doing it himself. leaving you to laugh in the corner at how difficult Harry was making it for his brother. when he was finally done he let out an exhausted sigh, throwing his dirty clothes in the corner of the room.

“thank you for your help.” Sam nodded, leaving you with a quiet ‘good luck.’ you looked at Harry with a sigh, pulling the covers of his bed over him and brushing your hand over his hair.

“y/n?” he slurred, blinking his eyes open just a little.

“hi, what’s up?” he smiled sleepily at you.

“thank you.” you giggled, looking at his half closed pretty eyes.

“of course.” you stroked his hair for a little bit longer than probably needed, making sure he was okay and didn’t need to be sick at all. He watched you the whole time with a lazy smile, nuzzling his head further into your loving touch.

“get some sleep, your heads gonna hurt in the morning.” before you left you made sure to get some painkillers and a glass of water. you placed them on his bedside table, kissing his head, making sure he was okay and asleep before you finally left.

The drive back to your flat was even quieter than the drive to Harry's home, no more drunken jokes from the passenger seat that made you laugh.

Even after pulling up outside your home you still waited in your car, not yet prepared to face your, no doubt, angry boyfriend inside.

After around 10 minutes of putting it off, you took a deep breath, climbing out of your car and heading into your building, greeting the receptionist on your way in. The lift ride up was long and filled with different scenarios of how this night could end, all of them overthought and turning out negatively. You hadn’t even started unlocking the door when it swung open, startling you.

“where the fuck have you been?” Nate yelled before you even stepped through the front door. you flushed in embarrassment at the idea of your neighbours hearing or seeing, shoving past him to make it inside.

“I told you, I was at Tom's party.” he scoffed, throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

“that was hours ago y/n!” you flinched at the loudness of his tone, wishing he would quieten down a bit. “where were you when i started texting you, huh?” 

“I was making sure my best friend got home safe, because he was drunk out of his mind.” he rolled his eyes.

“since when was he your responsibility?” 

“he’s always been my responsibility you arse, literally since we were 10.” you argued. you could almost feel the anger radiating from him, he was seething. You wanted nothing more than to simply just sleep this night away now.

“you know, he acts more like your boyfriend than me, and i am your boyfriend.” you laughed, glaring at him.

“Well that sounds like a you problem, Harry's just being a good friend, maybe you should try and be a better boyfriend once in a while.” he slammed his hands down on the kitchen counter, your eyes snapping to his face in fear.

“he clearly wants to fuck you.” this time it was your turn to scoff.

“no he doesn’t, do you not think he would’ve made a move by now, it’s been 11 years.” you finally snapped and let yourself yell. The argument seemed to go on for hours, back and forth of you defending Harry and him trying to make him sound like a bad person. 

you didn’t even remember how it started by the time it ended, finally having enough of the shit he was saying. the same shit he’d been putting you through since he first met Harry.

“get out of my fucking house.” he stared at you dumbfounded, watching as you pointed to the door.

“what?” you rolled your eyes, moving to your front door and opening it.

“we’re done, get out.” Nate grabbed his jacket forcefully and stomped his way to the door.

“at least you can finally fuck him now.” you knew he was talking about Harry, he always hated how close you both were.

“you’re pathetic Nate.” he left without another word, leaving you to slam the door and think about everything that had just happened. A night that had gone really well, just gone down the drain.

There was a quiet, soft knock on your front door, a groan slipping past your lips as you thought it might’ve been Nate. you pulled it open rather forcefully, only to be met with your neighbours little boy. the 7 year old smiled at you sheepishly.

“hi Theo, what’s up?” you bent down to his height, looking into his brown eyes with confusion.

“me and my mum heard shouting, we just wanted to make sure you were okay.” your heart melted, looking up and making eye contact with his mum, standing in the doorway across the hall. you mouthed a ‘thank you’ and she nodded.

“Was it you and harry?” he asked shyly.

“no, it wasn’t Harry, don’t worry he’ll still come over.” Theo had told you once while you were babysitting him that he loved Harry, the male always told him a joke that’d make his stomach hurt with laughter.

“But I'm okay, thank you Theo.” you ruffled his hair, sending him back to his mum with a wave.

you closed your door and leaned back against it, finally letting some tears fall as you began processing things.

you spent most of the night crying, blaming yourself for everything that happened, even if you knew that wasn’t the case at all.

The next morning, well late morning, there was a knock on your door. you dragged yourself out of bed and didn’t even check before opening, mentally regretting it when you spotted the curly haired male standing in your doorway. you didn’t want him to see you in this state, even if he’d seen you at your worst many times before.

“hey, i just- what’s wrong?” he noticed the tear stains on your cheeks, his heart aching at the thought of you being in any kind of pain.

you walked forwards without a word and buried yourself in his chest, arms around his waist. He stroked your hair, holding you equally as tight as you were holding him.

your stomach growled at you, but not in a hungry way, your eyes widening. you let go of Harry, much to his confusion, and quickly rushed to the bathroom, throwing up everything you’d eaten the night before. the burning pain in your throat forced tears to your eyes, your knees aching from the firm tiled floor.

Harry was there in an instant, holding your hair back so nothing got in the way. His large hand rubbed your back gently, coaxing you through it until you stopped after your stomach was more or less empty. you sat back on your knees once you were done, arms still clutching the bowl in case you felt the nauseating feeling again.

“So, I take it you still don’t feel well?” you shook your head, ignoring the feeling in your gut that told you it was more than a bug.

you flushed the toilet, quickly brushing your teeth and washing your hands, having Harry stare at you through the mirror the whole time. Once you were done you sat back beside him on the floor, shoulders touching to give you any form of comfort.

“why were you crying?” you looked at him from your place on the bathroom floor and let a tear slip from your eye. your eyes stinging from how many tears you’d shed in such a short span of time.

“we broke up.” Harry frowned, pushing away the happy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“what happened?” you let out a loud sob, harry ignoring the pounding headache he had from his hangover to tend to you.

“awe love, it’s okay, always thought he was an arsehole.” you stifled a laugh, wiping your cheeks and looking at him.

“he was just, he didn’t like you, and you’re so important to me.” Harry smiled sympathetically.

“I'm sorry, i didn’t mean to-“ you shushed him, shaking your head.

“i’d rather have you in my life than him.” a few moments of silence passed by as Harry thought deeply about what you said.

“can we cuddle?” you asked quietly, almost scared to ask, snapping him out of his daze. Harry nodded, helping you up off the floor and guiding you to your room.

the two of you got under the unmade, crisp white covers on your bed, your head resting on his chest and your arms around his waist. you were silent for a while, just happy to be laying there in his warmth with harry’s fingers running through your hair. at some point you ended up falling asleep, a smile breaking out on Harry's face. He knew you probably didn’t get much sleep last night from the bags under your eyes, so he was glad he could provide you with enough comfort to do that for you.

you woke up to Harry shifting, sitting up in your bed. you groaned, trying to fall back to sleep, finding it almost impossible now Harry’s body heat was gone.

“where are you going?” you grumbled.

“i have to go, i’m sorry.” you pouted, harry placing a kiss to your head as he slipped his shoes on.

“are you sure you’re gonna be okay without me?” you nodded, flashing him a smile.

“if you need me, at any point just call me, any time okay?” you nodded again. you quickly pulled him into a hug, thanking him for helping you.

“i’ll see you soon.”

“bye Harry.” you frowned as you watched him leave, hearing your front door close a few seconds later. you closed your eyes again, willing yourself to go to sleep, prepared to sleep the rest of the day away as a distraction. 

after being unable to fall asleep you groaned loudly, angrily tossing one of your pillows across your room, not caring what you knocked over.

“what a fucking day.” 

“i missed you so much, where have you been all week, are you okay?” he rambled. it’d been a week since your breakup with Nate, and a week since you had broken down to Harry on your bathroom floor. You had gone slightly MIA but Harry has given you your space like he knew you needed.

So when you texted him, asking him to come over out of nowhere, he happily complied, walking into your flat with a loud ‘honey, i’m home,’ which you greatly appreciated.

you practically threw yourself in his arms when you saw him, leading you to where you were currently.

Harry clinged to you, his arms around your neck and his cheek mushed against yours. This is how he was trying to convince you to come to the pub with him and his friends, his methods not seeming to work on you at all, much to his dismay, and yours because he didn’t tell you he already had plans.

“are you sure you don’t want to come?” you nodded your head, turning around to face him with a small smile. you hugged his waist tightly, hiding your face in his chest.

“we can wait for you to get ready.” his eyes were pleading with you, just wanting to spend time with his favourite girl, but you knew he’d understand.

“I still don’t feel good, ‘m sorry.” he nodded, placing a friendly kiss to your forehead.

“s’okay, i understand.” 

“maybe another time.” he nodded.

“Am I okay to come here after?” you nodded, flashing him a smile. He thanked you, saying one last goodbye before leaving your flat to go and meet his friends. you sighed loudly when he was out of the door, grabbing your phone off the sofa and pulling up one of your contacts that you knew you could trust with your life.

“hello?” she asked.

“hi um, do you think you could come over, i really need you right now.” you received an ‘of course’ and a promise of her being no longer than 10 minutes. In that short amount of time you did your best to tidy up your living room as best as you could, giving up halfway after realising she wouldn’t care after you told her what was wrong.

a knock on your door startled you, even though you were expecting it, opening it to see Nikki standing there concerned.

“what’s happened hun?” you collapsed into her arms with a cry, her hands coming up to stroke your hair as she tried to calm you down.

Nikki had been like a mum to you ever since you met Harry many years ago. always helping you with things and secretly rooting for you and Harry to get together; not that she’d tell you both that though.

Nikki instructed you to breathe deeply, the flow of your tears slowly coming to a halt.

“what’s wrong?” you took a deep breath, looking into her eyes as more tears built up.

“i think i’m pregnant.” even if Nikki was shocked, she tried to hide it for your sake, knowing being calm in this situation would be more comforting.

“you stay here darling, i’ll go buy some tests and we’ll figure this out together.” you thanked her, offering some money that she straight up refused before she left. 

Being alone meant you were thinking deeply about your current situation, absolutely scared to death. you were only 21, recently single and had no idea how you mother a child. it’s safe to say you were panicking massively.

thankfully Nikki was back in no time, handing you a bag and tightly clasping your hands in hers.

“so just, go into the bathroom, take a few of these and i’ll wait with you for the results, okay?” you nodded slowly, trying to process all the information at once. you did as she said, taking a few of the tests and setting them on your bathroom counter, letting her in afterwards to sit with you.

you sat on the edge of your bathtub, nikki’s arm around you while your head rested on her shoulder.

“there’s lots of options if you are pregnant, we can sort this sweetheart.” you nodded, tearing up again.

“i’m so scared.” she placed a kiss on your head, just like Harry had done earlier, stroking your arm to comfort you.

“i know, but it’s all going to be okay.” Those 2 minutes were the scariest minutes of your life. they seemed to last an eternity. when the timer on your phone finally went off you took a deep breath, pushing yourself up and moving over to the counter.

“you got this.” you encouraged yourself. you looked at the test, seeing the two pink lines that made you let out a sob. Nikki came up behind you and pulled you into her arms, glancing at the tests to see what you were crying at, even though she could’ve taken a guess for herself.

she stayed to comfort you for a while, promising she’d leave before Harry arrived so you could tell

him in private. She got you a hot drink and a warm blanket, helping you relax on the sofa, wiping any remnants of any tears away.

After Nikki left, you couldn’t force yourself to even get up from the couch, not even to go to the bathroom or put your mug down, sitting and just thinking about everything. 

your door unlocking caught your attention, Harry entering with a smile, walking in a near straight line, which meant he was mostly sober.

“hey.” you hummed in response, watching as he made himself at home, collapsing on the couch next to you. 

“how was your night?” he asked, unknowingly. you thought about how to answer, knowing this wasn’t the right way to tell him the news. you’d get there soon enough.

“strange, how was yours?” Harry’s eyes lit up as he threw his arm around you. For the next half an hour he ranted and laughed about the multiple things that had happened with his friends on this ‘crazy’ night out. He reiterated some of the jokes, managing to make you quietly laugh at times, but you nodded along anyway, only partly listening.

“Harry.” he didn’t even notice you had mumbled his name.

“it was hilarious, i wish you’d have come, you wo-“ 

“i’m pregnant.” the words died off on his tongue. his eyes widened and he looked at you in a mix of confusion and fear.

“what?” he asked, hoping he’d heard you wrong.

“i’m pregnant.” you didn’t even try to hold back this wave of tears, Harry taking the empty mug from you and placing it on the table before letting you bury your face in his hoodie, letting all of your emotions out. He wrapped his arms around you, stroking your back as your heart wrenching sobs filled his ears.

“how?” he asked.

“i-i don’t know, we always used protection.” he grimaced, hating picturing the idea of you having sex with Nate. however he pushed that to the back of his mind to focus on you in the moment.

“I need to tell him, don’t i?” he shook his head.

“no, if you think it’s best he doesn’t know, then don’t feel like you have to say anything.” he brushed some loose hair behind your ears, wiping your tears with his thumb.

“i know you probably don’t want to, especially not with the way things ended but-“

“he has a right to know.” as much as it pained him, he nodded. you picked up your phone from the coffee table, pulling up the contact you thought you’d never have to dial again.

“should i call him?”

“It's whatever you think is best, I'll give you some privacy.” you thanked him, although you weren’t sure you even wanted him to leave.

“hey.” Harry couldn’t help but feel protective over you after what had happened with Nate, not even a week and a half ago. so even though he knew he probably shouldn’t have, he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, listening just to make sure you were okay.

When Harry re-entered the room a while later, he noticed you sitting in the same position you were in when he left.

“what happened?” you looked up at him and sighed.

“said he’s not ready to be a dad, blamed it all on me pretty much.” Harry scoffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“do i need to beat the shit out of him, cause I will.” you laughed, shaking your head. 

“you couldn’t hurt a fly.” he gasped in offense.

“that is not true.” he let you lay your head on his shoulder, throwing some of the fluffy blanket over his lap so the two of you could cuddle together. 

“I think you’d be a great mum, you know.” he said, out of nowhere. 

“really?” you asked insecurely, receiving a confirming nod. you smiled and nuzzled your cheek deeper into his chest, fighting off sleep so you could finish your conversation.

“how come?” his fingers in your hair paused their movements, a whine of protest coming from you.

“I've seen how you are with Theo, how protective you get over Paddy, it comes naturally to you.” 

“that really means a lot, thank you Harry.” your eyes had teared up at some point in the conversation, your heart warming knowing your favourite person thought you’d succeed in this.

“always.”

For the next few days, Harry had been spending time at his family home, wanting to bond with his twin for a little bit after not seeing him for a while. you didn’t mind in the slightest, except you were starting to get lonely, missing your curly headed friend, more than you’d be willing to admit to his face.

So when you received a text Friday night telling you Sam was going out, you instantly took that as an invitation to come over. Although you probably shouldn’t have been so quick to assume, you just missed his freckled face.

So that’s where you ended up, knocking on Harry’s door after 3 or 4 days of not seeing him, as well as the week after your breakup too, knocking on his door.

“i feel like all we’ve said to each other these past few days is i miss you.” he rambled as he opened the door. you thought about it before nodding your head.

“you’re right, but I did miss you though.” you confirmed.

“missed you too.” he kissed your head, letting you follow him to the kitchen where he already had your food for the night set out.

“got you your favourite.”

“you’re an angel, sir.” you sat down across from him.

“with the way you’re eating, you look like the pregnant one.” you joked, taking note of his cramped plate. Harry ended up cracking another joke on top of yours that had you both bursting into laughter.

After the laughter died down there was an uncomfortable silence lingering in the air, one that neither you or Harry were used to when it came to each other. Of course you didn’t want to say anything, worried it was all in your head and you’d offend the male if you said anything.

However, you didn’t have time to ponder that thought for long, Harry practically reading your mind for you.

“this is weird right?” he asked. you nodded.

“why does this feel so awkward?” you asked, Harry's head snapping up and a blush coating his cheeks.

“i-i don’t know how to act around you now you’re pregnant.” he admitted.

“seriously?” you asked with a laugh. Harry’s embarrassment getting worse.

“I'm still me, Harry, just can’t drink alcohol anymore.” Harry took a deep breath and nodded, rising from his chair and heading to his fridge.

“Guess I'll have to drink for both of us then.” he winked and you rolled your eyes, watching him pop open a beer and instantly taking a gulp.

“you’re so mean.”

“What did i do?” he teased, a smirk on his lips.

“rubbing it in that i can’t drink.” you pouted, Harry laughing when glancing at your sad eyes.

“I mean, you came to see me, can’t really complain now.” you rolled your eyes.

“i’m actually only here for paddy.” Harry gasped, feigning offense.

“you don’t mean that.” you heard the front door open, Nikki and Paddy’s voices echoing through the hallway. Paddy practically ran to you when he saw you, wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

“oh, but i do.” 

After Paddy had left the kitchen, claiming he was going to play some game with his friends, Nikki made her way over to you, surveying the mess Harry had made while eating and scoffing at her son.

“how have you made such a mess Harry?” he looked at his mum sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, being let off with an eye roll.

“and how’s the mother to be?” you smiled at Nikki, accepting her side hug.

“hungry.” you whined, eyeing part of Harry’s food that you’d been dying to try.

“you’ve got enough food to feed four of you Harry, you’re never gonna eat all that, let her have some.” she hit him up the side of the head, making you giggle as he looked almost offended at his mum’s betrayal. He glared at you playfully, ignoring your innocent smile as you stole some of his food off his plate.

“thank you Harry.” you teased. He mimicked you, a snort leaving your mouth that then made Harry laugh loudly. the two of you ate with minimal conversation, both of you seeming almost equally as hungry, despite only one of you being pregnant, which you definitely kept teasing your best friend about.

“d’you wanna watch a film?” you shook your head.

“I should be getting home, I have work tomorrow.” Harry pouted, stating that he just wasn’t going to let you leave him.

“i have to go, ‘m sorry.” you kissed his cheek, grabbing your jacket off of the back of your chair.

“just promise we can hang out again soon.”

“we will.”

“I mean really soon miss.” you nodded.

“of course.” you slipped on your shoes and placed your hand over your belly, out of a new habit you’d developed rather quickly. Harry noticed, smiling at you as you already began proving his point of how good of a mum you’d be.

“thank you for tonight, i really appreciated the distraction.” you said, hugging his waist tightly.

“it’s my pleasure, but at least let me drive you home.” you shook your head, denying his offer.

“I'm fine Harry, I'm pregnant, not dead.” he rolled his eyes.

“I just worry about you.” he whined.

“i know, but i’m a big girl.” 

“whatever.” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, finally agreeing to let you go. 

“goodbye harry, i love you.” you sang. He shook his head in amusement.

“i love you too, and i’ll see you soon.” you waved before heading to your car, a content feeling in your stomach as you thought about tonight’s events.

“the things you do to me Harry Holland.” 

“you ready to go?” he asked. You nodded, grabbing your jacket and slipping it on before heading out to his car.

“Are you nervous?” he asked, taking his eyes off the road for a quick second to glance at you. you shook your head.

“ ‘m really excited, I just want to see them.” he smiled, loving to see your excitement. The rest of the journey to the doctors was rather silent, except for the quiet hum of the radio in the background and Harry’s occasional humming to the songs.

“and we’re here.” you practically squealed, startling Harry. He was unsure if he’d ever seen you this excited for something, ever. especially at an early time like 10am; early for you at least.

“come on, hurry up.” Harry huffed and locked his car, following behind you as you almost ran inside the building.

Harry had to calm you down while you sat in the doctor's room on the small, plush bed, your leg was bouncing in anticipation and your smile was wide as you tried to suppress it.

“i’m so excited.” you announced, Harry grinning and taking your hand in his.

“me too, can’t wait to see your little munchkin.” your heart grew, hearing Harry say that practically made you realise this was real, you were going to have a mini you.

The doctor entered, introducing herself and explaining how this all works. She asked you to lift up your shirt and you followed her instruction, holding your hand out to Harry afterwards.

“this might be cold.” you giggled at the cold sensation of the gel on your stomach. She started to move the device around your stomach, searching for the heartbeat. you bit your bottom lip in anticipation, squeezing Harry’s hand.

“and there they are, that little plum there is them.” you melted, tears welling in your eyes as you listened to their heartbeat.

you looked over at Harry who was sitting in shock, completely amazed that that little one was growing inside of you.

“that’s incredible.” you nodded, watching Harry’s face in awe, studying his grin and sparkling eyes. The appointment was quickly over after that, taking your sonogram picture and scheduling another appointment for a few weeks in advance.

“i still can’t believe it's real.” Harry nodded, his gaze still scanning over your ultrasound, gently running his thumb over it with a smile.

“i’m so proud of you, you know.” you blushed, his arm slinging over your shoulder.

“really?” he nodded.

“you’re going to be an amazing, beautiful, incredible mum and i can’t wait to see your little bub.” you awed, thanking him with a warm feeling in your stomach.

“thank you.” 

After arriving home, you and Harry made breakfast/lunch that you didn’t have before you left and watched a film to pass time.

Later that day, you had to start getting ready for the meal with the Hollands, + Harrison of course.

you showered, letting Harry take one too before spending an eternity trying to pick out a dress to wear. Harry would give his occasional input, a quick yes or no every so often, neither of which were very helpful.

“this one?” you held up a pretty baby blue dress that’d make you look like the depiction of an angel. the dress would cup your small bump perfectly, flowing out towards the bottom.

“i think it’s perfect.”

“really?” you asked, turning to look at him over your shoulder.

“definitely.” you decided to trust your best friend, moving into the bathroom to slip the dress on. you took a quick look at yourself in the mirror, unsure if this felt right to you. When you stepped out back into your room Harry made it very clear that it was perfect.

“you look amazing.” you blushed, thanking him and moving to stand in your mirror. Harry flashed you a silly grin as you looked over the dress a few times, looking at different angles to try and see if your opinion would change.

“are you sure i look okay?” Harry looked over your dress one more time, the silly grin still painted on his face.

“you look gorgeous, and your little belly looks adorable.” you rolled your eyes, turning to the side to look at your swollen tummy. it was barely there, being so early on in your pregnancy, but still noticeable in the tight bit of the dress you’d chosen.

“come on, let’s go before you change, again.” He took your hand, lacing your fingers together and practically dragging you out to his car, timed almost perfectly so that you’d arrive on time for the dinner with his family.

Harry huffed as your leg continued to bounce on the floor of the car, placing his hand on your knee to steady it. you looked at him and from that look alone he could tell you were overthinking the entire night already.

“are you worried?” you hesitantly nodded.

“why are you so worried?” he laughed. Once the car was stable in the car park of the restaurant, he pulled you into his side over the console in his car. “you see my family all the time.” 

“I know but, only your mum actually knows I'm pregnant, they haven’t seen the bump yet.” you we’re definitely still trying to adjust to your belly, however you practically always had a hand on it. Harry frowned, cupping your cheek so you’d look at him.

“do you think they’re going to judge you?” he asked quietly. you sighed.

“i don’t know, but what if they think i’m stupid for going through with this.” he shook his head.

“they would never.” he reached over and laced your fingers together, gently squeezing your hand in reassurance.

“what if this dress was a mistake, it only highlights it and-“ he shook his head again.

“you look beautiful, heck you're practically glowing y/n.” your heart melted, admiring the man sitting in the driver’s seat.

“i think they love you more than me at times.” you laughed, looking at him with a smile. “so you have nothing to worry about.”

“thank you, i really hope so.” Harry, being the gentleman he is, got out of his side of the car, coming over and opening your door for you.

“what an angel.”

“what can i say?” he shrugged with a laugh. the two of you walked into the restaurant and searched for the other hollands. Harry pointed them out and placed his hand on your lower back, gently guiding you over to the table.

“y/n, it’s so lovely to see you.” you hugged Nikki tightly.

“look at you.” she admired your bump like a proud mother, even though that’s basically what she was anyway.

“woah y/n, since when have you-“ Sam motioned to your belly, a giggle leaving your lips.

“almost 3 months, i actually went for a scan this morning.” his eyes widened. 

“Do you have the picture?” he asked, his eyes turning into puppy dog eyes. you nodded, pulling out your phone to show Sam the picture you’d taken of your sonogram, the one you’d sent to your parents as a way of announcing you were pregnant.

“have i really not noticed?” 

“I’ve barely started showing you idiot.” you laughed, letting him pull you into a hug. you hugged paddy next, the boy cracking a few jokes about how he was taller than you now and of course a congratulations on the baby. 

Harry pulled a chair out for you, thanking him before you sat down next to Sam, Harry on the other side.

“where’s everyone else?” Harry asked, looking at the empty seats on the end of the table.

“they’re on their way.” he nodded, the table breaking out into light conversation. 

Not too much later you saw Paddy’s head perk up, spotting his brother and his brother’s best friend entering the restaurant. you found it adorable how excited he got to see his brother, even after only a few days of not seeing him.

“the party has arrived.” Tom announced, a laugh coming from you and Sam. Harrison was first to practically bear hug you after you stood up, noticing your belly with furrowed eyebrows.

“woah-“

“i know.” you smiled. He offered you congratulations, Tom giving you the same shocked look when he hugged you.

“no, you aren’t allowed to grow up.” he whined. Tom had been like your older brother since you’d met Harry, always ridiculously overprotective of you, even if you could sort the situation out yourself.

“don’t worry, you can be the favourite uncle.” you whispered. Tom grinned happily.

“I would've been anyway, be realistic.” you laughed, nodding your head.

“seriously though, congrats y/n.” you smiled.

“thank you.” he gave you another quick hug before pulling Paddy into a bro hug.

The dinner went by better than you thought it would. no one mentioned your pregnancy, which you were very happy about, and overall you had fun.

“you okay?” Harry asked as you were leaving the restaurant.

“ ‘m tired.” you mumbled, resting your head on his arm.

“want me to take you home?” you nodded. He led you to his car, helping you into the passenger seat. you smiled, his actions reminding you of him on the night of Tom’s party.

Upon arriving at your flat you were almost passed out, meaning Harry would have to carry you upstairs and to your bed.

Much to your surprise he did so without complaint or struggle, hoisting you into his arms, bridal style. Your arms wrapped around his neck, keeping you secure in his hold, the fear that he’d drop you lingering in the back of your mind.

“please don’t drop me.” you murmured, Harry picking it up and laughing.

“I won't, I promise.” he always thought you were adorable when you were half asleep. You lost the ability to filter what you were saying, making the randomest of comments that always made him let out a giggle.

“and you’re home.” you cheered sleepily, making Harry smile as he carried you to your bedroom. He gently laid you down on your bed, turning around to grab some pyjamas from your dresser.

“can you change or do you need my help?” you shook your head, confusing Harry.

“too tired.” he sighed, asking if it was okay for him to take your dress off, you complied, letting him pull the fabric over your head exposing your underwear to him.

even though it was nothing he hadn’t seen before, being friends for so long, he still blushed, trying to slip the shirt on over your head.

you protested, moving your hands to the clasp on your bra as you tried to blindly remove it.

“w-what are you doing?” Harry’s eyes widened.

“can’t sleep with it on.” he gulped, nodding hesitantly as you peeled the fabric off of your body, exposing your bare chest to him. Harry did his best to avert his eyes, his face blushing a deep shade of red as he slipped his old shirt over your body.

“there you go.”

“thank you.” you mumbled, climbing under the covers of your bed and quickly getting comfy. It didn’t take you long at all to begin drifting in and out of a light sleep, Harry checking you were okay before he left for the night.

“goodnight y/n.” you hummed, pushing your face into your pillow, too far gone to even attempt a response, Harry chuckled, turning off your bedroom light and leaving your apartment.

Harry was back in his home in no longer than half an hour, taking a seat in the living room after grabbing a drink from the fridge, with both Tom and Harrison’s eyes on him in an instant.

“what?” he asked, confused.

“where have you been?” 

“i took y/n home?” he said slowly, unsure what they were getting at.

“and how’s it going between you two?” Harrison hinted. Harry rolled his eyes, flipping them off and taking a swig of his beer.

“come on, Harry you’ve been in love with her since you were 14, just tell her already.” Tom ranted.

“yeah, you’re both single, why not?” Harrison added.

“Now is definitely not the right time, she’s got more important things to deal with.” Tom sighed, he’d been encouraging his younger brother to make his move for years, seeing how perfect you both were for each other, but he always respected Harry’s decision. just like he would now.

“Harry, i do think it’s really awesome what you’re doing though.” he cocked his head, not sure what his older brother meant.

“that you’re helping her with this, it’s really brave.” he smiled, glancing down at his lap, his cheeks flushing a bright pink.

“well, Nate left her and I didn't want her to feel like she’d been completely abandoned.” he started. “i was never going to let her do this by herself, she’s my best friend.” both Tom and Harrison could hear the hesitance in his voice when he said ‘best friend.’ everyone that looked at the pair could see they were silently begging to be more, they’d been in love for years and were way to blind to see it.

“well you’re doing good.” Harry thanked his brother, glancing up at him with a smile.

Harry was going to help you through this, just like your best friend should do.

As the months passed, rather too quickly for your liking, Nikki was completely set on taking you baby shopping. Practically dragging you out with her, and unfortunately for him, making Harry come to.

You were currently browsing through some baby clothes with Nikki, your hand on your 6 month bump. Harry was god knows where, having separated from you two a while ago, saying something about finding baby clothes with good taste.

“What about that one?” She motioned towards a simple dark blue onesie and with a simple nod of your head it was in your basket.

“Y/n!” Harry whisper yelled. You looked around until you saw him, meeting his eyes from a distance with a confused expression. “look how cute this is.” He pointed to a little onesie that looked like a duck, an eye roll coming from you.

“Put it back Harry.” You giggled, watching the boy pout adorably.

“But-“

“No.” You shook your head, the boy shuffling over to you sadly. He rested his chin on your shoulder, arms going around you to sprawl his hands on your growing belly. Harry was obsessed with your belly, and luckily for him, he was one of the only people you felt comfortable letting touch your bump. He would often hold your belly or talk to it, or rub your back for you if it was hurting. His actions only made you fall deeper in love with him, something that scared you, but something that was also quite amazing to you.

Harry continued to goof around, intent on buying practically all the teddy bears he could find.

“Harry, stop.” You laughed, taking another silly onesie out of your basket and putting it back.

“Listen, i was promised food if i came and-“ You giggled.

“You’ll get food, just, after we’re done.” He huffed, turning to his mum to pester her like a child.

“If i let you get the duck onesie, will you stop?” He nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips.

“fine, go get it.” He almost squealed, rushing back down the aisles to grab it. He came back and you couldn’t help giggling at Nikki’s unimpressed face, snatching the onesie off of him to place in the basket and move on.

“You’re an idiot, Harry.” He gasped, feigning offense at your words.

“Harry junior would never treat me like this.” You rolled your eyes as he knelt down and hugged your belly.

“Harry junior?” He nodded, confidently.

“Not a chance.” You laughed, pushing his head away from you playfully.

“Come on kids.” Nikki mumbled in her motherly voice, trying to motion for you two to stop messing around.

“I’m hungry.” Harry whined again, probably for the hundredth time.

Nikki eventually grew sick of his whining, asking if you had everything you needed. You paid for your items and then decided your next stop was going to be to get Harry some food. He practically cheered at the news, acting like a child on christmas.

“You’re so weird.” He rolled his eyes, turning this back on you.

“Don’t even try and tell me baby’s not excited to eat.” He pointed to your belly accusingly, a sheepish smile covering your face.

“Hey, I'm feeding 2 people, what’s your excuse?” Nikki laughed at your childish bickering, shaking her head at you both. She couldn’t help but notice the soulmate connection between you again, just wondering when the news was finally going to come out.

After grabbing some food, Nikki dropped you off back home, getting Harry to help you take the bags of baby things inside.

“I’ll see you soon.” He gave you a quick but firm hug, kissing your head and waving goodbye. You waved as the two drove away, going inside and deciding on unpacking the things to start and put away.

The nursery currently wasn’t done, you had a few boxes with stuffed toys and things in and some with baby clothes in, just until you could guilt trip your best friend into helping you set everything up.

You moved to stand in front of the mirror you had sitting in the corner of the almost empty room. You cupped your growing belly and turned to the side, grinning slightly.

“I can’t wait to meet you.” You spoke quietly. “You’re g’na be so loved, so spoiled by the Holland boys.” You giggled. You jolted lightly when you felt a slight kick near where your hand lay.

“Can you hear me, hear mummy talking to you?” You gushed, eyes beginning to water. 

You’d heard from the nurse that it was a good idea to try talking to the baby, just to try and create that bond early on.

After getting that reaction from them, you ended up making sure to make time at least once a day until the end of your pregnancy, to just say hello.

“Hello, baby.”

<<<<>>>>

A few days after baby shopping with Nikki, you were practically begging all your close friends to stop with the baby gifts, reassuring them you had enough toys and clothes to last them a lifetime. Admittedly Tom and Sam had been the worst of the holland’s for it, so far at least, shocking you that it wasn’t Harry. Tom bombarded you with spiderman themed items, which was expected by you all.

So when Harry showed up in your flat, announcing he’d bought something else for your little bub, you couldn’t help rolling your eyes.

“Okay so, i know you said no more baby things but, i couldn’t help myself.” You groaned, throwing your head back as Harry made himself known in your flat. He found you sitting on a kitchen chair at the island, eating random pregnancy cravings you had, of which he found utterly disgusting. 

“What did you do?” He pulled out a small bag from behind his back, placing it on the counter and pulling out a small stuffed bear that replicated a tiny captain america, shield and all.

“Harry-“

“I know what you said, but I saw it and I know he’s your favourite.” He pouted, handing you the bear with a small smile. You grinned against your will, pulling him into a hug as a thank you.

“But this is the last one okay, no more baby things.” He nodded, giving you his pinky to promise. Harry watched as your body suddenly jumped, hand shifting to your belly with an excited smile.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come here.” You summoned him over, placing his hand on your stomach where you’d just felt your bub move.

“What am i-“ His sentence was cut short when he felt a weak kick against his palm, his eyes shooting to yours with tears brimming on his waterline.

“Was that-“

“She’s kicking.” Harry grinned, the news flying right over his head. it took a few minutes to register until his eyes finally snapped to yours.

“wait, she?” You nodded, tears now slipping down your cheeks.

“Found out this morning.” You explained.

“you’re having a little girl.” He was in awe. He wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“congrats y/n.” You and Harry talked for a while, mainly about baby name ideas. He recommended some names he thought were pretty, your heart warming at how involved he wanted to be with your little girl.

“what about-“ He began, before you cut him off.

“Harry, you’ve said so many names I've already forgotten the first ones.” He smiled sheepishly, apologising for overwhelming you.

“s’okay, but we’ve got plenty of time to decide, don’t worry.” He nodded. “but, i do need you to help me set up the nursery.” you smiled. 

“is this weekend okay?” You nodded.

“I can set up some furniture but I need help paint-“ He stopped you mid sentence.

“You aren’t doing anything, I'll get tom and sam to help, you just rest your pretty little self.” you rolled your eyes as your cheeks flushed a light pink shade, trying to brush off Harry’s sneaky compliment like it was nothing.

“We’ll get her room looking fit for a little princess.” 

“A spoiled little princess.” Harry rolled his eyes sassily.

“Obviously, she now has 4 uncles that are ready to spoil her.” He argued.

“Yeah, yeah.” You laughed. 

“Have you told anyone else?” You shook your head no, Harry’s eyes lighting up with a cheeky smirk.

“So I found out first?” You shushed him, pushing his shoulder. “I’m honoured, especially to know I'm your favourite.”

“I’ve told you before, Paddy’s my favourite.” He grumbled something under his breath about his brother that you didn’t hear, claiming it was nothing when you threatened to snitch on him.

“That’s what i thought, big man.” Harry’s face suddenly lit up, telling you he had an idea for something.

“Can we surprise the others with the gender?” He looked like a puppy, your heart melting. You couldn’t say no to him like that, so you nodded, Harry getting straight to how each one could go.

<<<<>>>>

You spent the next few days surprising the Holland family with the announcement of your babygirl, trying to do it discreetly. Starting with Nikki and Dom first.

“So, I have some news, but in order to break it to you-“ You motioned to Harry who was holding a box with two donuts. They were coated in pink icing, one having the words ‘it’s a’ written on in red, while the other had ‘girl.’

They took them with a thank you, Harry placing his hand on your shoulder as a good luck wish.

Your heart sank when Dom took a bite of the donut without reading it, fearing your plan had failed.

“What’s your news, y/n?” Nikki asked, smiling up at you.

“I was going to say read the donuts, but that might not work anymore.” She glanced down and read hers.

“It’s a?” You nodded. Her eyes widened when she realised what you meant. “The baby's gender?” You nodded again.

“What does yours say?” She asked her husband, quite frantically. Seeing as he’d already eaten most of his, it wasn’t very noticeable what the word had been. However, after seeing a still intact ‘G’, she was able to decipher it.

“You’re having a girl?” She asked, tearfully.

“I’m having a girl.” You confirmed, letting her pull you into a hug. She said a ‘congratulations’ into your ear, kissing your head temple as she pulled away.

“I’m so happy for you.” 

You hoped that Sam and Paddy hadn’t already heard the news from downstairs. Going up to Sam’s room, Harry asking Paddy to come and join you all.

“I have an announcement about baby.” Both sets of eyes were now on you, focused and listening.

“So boys.” you started. “You might need to put these on actually.” 

You pulled 2 baby sized shirts from behind your back, handing them over with a giggle. Sam read his first, his eyes widening upon seeing ‘favourite niece.’

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. Paddy still hadn’t got what was going on, reading over the words ‘prettiest princess.’ 

“C-can someone explain?” Harry chuckled at his younger brother and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

“She’s having a girl, Pads.” Harry explained, realisation and a wave of emotions hitting him square in the face.

“We’re so proud of you.” Sam held onto you tightly, flashing his twin a sneaky look over his shoulder.

“Thank you.” You pulled back and hugged Paddy, the boy congratulating you and assuring you that they’d be spoiling her as soon as they could.

Tom and Harrison were next after finding them both in the house.

You wanted to give Tom the most difficult task, blowing up a balloon that told you ‘it’s a girl.’

“I need you to blow this up.” You handed him the packet with the balloon inside, a groan coming from him. He begrudgingly started to blow up the balloon, his face becoming red as he slowly became out of breath.

“Holy shit!” Harrison shouted, seeing the writing on the side, even before it was fully intact.

Tom looked at it and jumped up from the couch.

“I knew it!” Tom announced, a wide grin on his face as he hugged you tightly, he swayed you both slowly, his excitement getting the best of him.

“I can’t wait to be her favourite.” You rolled your eyes, letting Harry and Tom start that debate while getting a hug from Harrison.

“Congrats y/n.”

“Thank you, Haz.” 

You spent the rest of the day by Harry’s side, the two of you fantasizing about what your baby girl’s going to be like, and you thought it was perfect.

The knock on your front door startled you, pulling your attention from the tv show you were watching. You turned the tv off, jumping up from your couch and opening it to find your best friend standing there in what he called, his ‘best painting clothes.’

“What do you think?” He motioned to his overalls and plain hoodie he was wearing, posing like he was being photographed in a photo shoot.

“You’re so weird.” He scoffed, closing your door behind him and stepping into your flat.

“You didn’t answer my question.” He said.

“What question?” You asked.

“Do you like my outfit?” You rolled your eyes when he started posing obnoxiously again. You looked at his outfit up and down and gave him a tight lipped smile.

“It looks great.” He squinted his eyes at you, unsure if you were joking or if you actually hated it.

“Also, shoes off, looks like you’ve been stood in mud for hours.” With a huff he began unlacing his shoes, leaving them by the front door.

“What if i just like jumping in mud?” He asked sassily. “Are you really going to judge me for my interests?” 

“Okay, peppa pig, i’m just saying, no mud on my floors.” You pointed your finger at him, watching him laugh as he pieced together your tv reference.

“That was a good one.” He commented.

“Thank you, I’m honoured.” You led him down the hall, opening the door to your cluttered nursery with a sigh.

“Here we are, voila.” You motioned your arms towards the very disappointing room, seeing Harry’s face drop.

“Very anticlimactic.” You rolled your eyes, punching his shoulder.

“Shut up.” You handed him a clean paint brush, taking another one out for yourself while Harry opened the lid of the paint bucket.

“What are you doing?” He asked, pointing to the paintbrush in your hand.

“Currently, nothing.”

“You aren’t painting, you’re going to sit down on your cute butt and watch.” He demanded. You stared at him in amazement.

“I’m not dying Harry, I can still do things.” He shook his head.

It had eventually taken a lot of convincing on your part to persuade Harry to let you assist him in painting the nursery. You were going on almost half an hour now.

“I can do bits, come on, i’ll take a break if i really need to.” He sighed. You’d been bugging him about it since he started almost an hour ago, the males patience wearing thin.

“Promise?” He asked, holding his pinky in your direction. Your eyes lit up, wrapping your much smaller pinky around his.

“Promise.” You confirmed, a small smirk on your face.

“Grab a paintbrush.” You squealed, Harry certain you almost burst his ear drums.

“I’ve never seen someone so excited to paint.” You pushed his shoulder, gathering some of the light coloured paint on your brush and beginning to paint the same wall as Harry, just at the opposite side. You were working well together, music from one of his many playlists playing out of his phone, creating a calm atmosphere in the room. 

You had helped paint at least one wall by the time your feet started to ache, finding it painful to stay on your feet much longer. Harry heard your uncomfortable grumbles and stared you down until you turned to look at him.

“Do you need a break?” He asked. You nodded your head, giving in, cupping your large belly and sitting down on the floor, although that was a tiring task in itself. You watched Harry work for a little while, asking him to help you up after your feet felt better. He grabbed both of your hands in his, pulling you up towards him until you were on your feet.

“Thank you.” Before resuming your painting, you waddled to your kitchen to get you both some drinks, coming back and making Harry take just a quick break.

“Think this will be done today?” He stood back and observed the progress you’d made already, one full wall down, only 2 and a half more to go.

“Possibly, if you stop slacking.” Your jaw dropped, Harry laughing as you stood there shocked.

“Well two can play at that game, Holland.” You dipped your hand into the paint bucket, moving over to Harry and placing your hand right on his cheek. 

“Y/n!” He yelled, watching as you doubled over in laughter. His mind wandered from his painted cheek and he started to see the funny side of it, deciding on getting his own back.

It ended up being a full blown paint war between you two, both of you ending up covered in paint, giggling to yourselves like children.

“You can clean this up.” You told him.

“Why me, you started it!” You grinned.

“I’m the pregnant one, and i’m gonna go shower.” You placed a teasing kiss on the one spot on his cheek that wasn’t splattered with paint. “Enjoy.” 

Harry shook his head, chuckling to himself as you waddled away.

“Crafty lady.” He muttered under his breath.

<<<<>>>>

“Oh wow, you clean up nice.” You teased, throwing him a wink.

After your shower, you felt completely refreshed, especially not being covered in cakes of paint anymore. You slipped into comfy clothes and stalked your way back to the nursery, where you were currently looking at a spotless room, yet a still painted Harry. It looked almost as if there wasn’t a paint fight here only hours before.

“I know, you’d never know some rebellious girl trashed the place.” You rolled your eyes at his dramatics. “Unless you looked at me, that is.” You laughed, shaking your head at him. 

“I can’t wait to see it done.” Harry looked around and silently agreed with you.

“It’s going to be so cute.” You finally noticed that Harry had almost completely finished painting.

“Might need another coat but, should be done soon.” 

“Thank you, for helping me, again.” You laughed. He smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

“I think i’d be a pretty shitty best friend if i didn’t.” 

“Yeah, that’s true.” He scoffed at your teasing, playfully flipping you off.

“Harold, there’s children around.” You scolded, hands cupping your belly like you were covering a child’s eyes. He laughed at you.

“Good luck getting Tom to stop, even when she’s here he’s going to be a nightmare.” You groaned.

“I didn’t even think about your foul mouthed siblings.” Harry snorted as your comment caught him off guard, the two of you falling into a state of continuous laughter to the point your stomachs ached. 

“Okay, we need to get it together.” He demanded playfully. “Let’s finish painting, then we can fuck around all we want.”

You slapped his arm at his choice of vocabulary, receiving a teasing wink from your best friend.

“Just as bad as the rest of them.” You mumbled, earning an offended scoff from him.

“How dare you.” He accused, holding his hand over his heart and feigning pain. 

“Just being honest, my dear.” 

A few days later, after the room was so ‘gracefully’ painted by you and Harry, two of the other Holland boys had come over to help put the baby's furniture together. They’d had to move the toys and clothes out before they started to put the furniture boxes in, meaning it was like a maze of baby stuff just to get to the room. Something that was definitely not very convenient for you and your large belly.

Harry and Sam had started working on the crib first, while Tom worked on the rocking chair that you would feed your girl in.

“What can i help with?” You asked entering the room, ready to do anything they needed you to.

“Nope.” Tom demanded, practically shoving you out of the nursery.

“You aren’t doing anything, you’re almost 7 months pregnant.” You rolled your eyes, seeing that there was definitely a theme between the Holland siblings. But not wanting to argue about it with him, you moved on begrudgingly.

“Fine, but if you need anything, please ask.” He nodded.

“We will.” He said. “Now leave.”

“Such a gentleman.” You commented teasingly. Tom rolled his eyes, shooing you out of the room. 

You were now left to your own devices, deciding on making something to eat in the kitchen.

You weren’t really paying attention to the time, all your focus on making food. So, when Harry came into the room you didn’t think it’d be because they were already done.

“We’re finished.” Harry announced.

“Already?” You asked, your question being ignored as Harry placed his hands over your eyes, blocking your vision from seeing anything.

“Harry, we still have to walk there, and i need to turn the stove off.” You laughed. You could practically hear him rolling his eyes, turning the stove off for you before carefully guiding you away.

“I’m not taking any chances, come on miss.” He helped you up from your chair and guided you through the hall and towards the baby’s room. He made sure you didn’t trip or bump into anything, which you were very grateful for.

You came to a sudden halt, hearing the hushed voices of Sam and Tom in the room with you.

“Okay, are you ready?” Sam asked. You nodded, trying to pry Harry’s hands from off of your eyes. 

“Let me see, come on.” You heard them laugh before Tom started counting down.

“3-“ Tom dragged it out for a lot longer than necessary, just to try and build up the anticipation. 

“2-“ You huffed, beginning to grow impatient at the lad.

“1, and a half.”

“Oh my god, will you just let me look.” Harry laughed, removing his hands from your eyes. Your eyes quickly adjusted to the bright lights of the room, looking around the nursery with watery eyes. You cursed yourself mentally as your hormones got the best of you, practically forcing you to cry.

“Why are you crying?” Sam asked, rubbing your back with a sympathetic pout.

“Hormones, happy tears, all that good stuff.” You joked. You hugged the twin tightly, well as tight as you could considering your large belly. You then hugged Tom and then Harry, staying leaned into Harry’s side with his arm around your shoulders.

“Now, you just have to sort out all the boxes.” Sam stated. 

You frowned, looking at the stacks of baby things in your hallway.

“Well is anyone helping?” Harry let go of you, shifting over to stand by his twin. The brothers looked at each other with a ‘not it’ kind of look. The twins did their weird twin telepathy thing and ended up pushing Tom towards you, making a break for your front door.

“Bye y/n, bye Tom!” 

“Dickheads.” Tom mumbled, you nodding in agreement behind him.

“Well, i guess it’s just us.” Tom grabbed a couple boxes and placed them on the floor, allowing you both to sort through them and hang up clothes, or put away toys.

“I’m loving all the spiderman things in here.”

“Tom, this whole box is basically from you.” You laughed. He shrugged, throwing you a smirk.

“No wonder these clothes are of such good taste then.” You picked up a spiderman plushie, aiming it at his head and succeeding in hitting your target. He mumbled an ‘ouch,’ shooting you a glare whilst you smiled innocently.

“How much longer?” Tom whined, laying himself down on the floor and pretending to sob.

“Stop being a baby.” You laughed, poking his stomach with your foot.

“Come on, get up.” He groaned loudly, pushing himself up.

“I feel like I'm being punished for something.” He sighed. You laughed, handing him some more stuff to put away. 

“So dramatic.” You commented.

“I am an actor, darling.” You fake gasped, turning to face him in shock.

“No way!” You stated. “Do you by any chance play this spider guy.” You held up one of the spiderman onesies he had bought a few weeks ago.

“Shut up.” He chuckled, flipping you off.

“Harry told me you wouldn’t stop swearing for the baby.” You told him, pointing to his middle finger. “You just proved him right.” 

“Oh, how awful, proving Harry right.” His comment made you giggle, telling him to behave.

You and Tom were unpacking things for a little while longer, taking the time to take a breather when you were done.

After you and Tom were finally done, you were more than ready to just sleep forever and Tom was clearly ready to go home.

“Thank you for your help.” You hugged him tightly before he left. 

“Always, see you soon y/n.” He waved, closing the door behind him. You sighed, finally getting a moment to yourself after a chaotic day filled with the three lads.

“And it’s just us again baby girl.” You smiled as she started to gently kick your belly, your heart warming as she knew you were talking to her. 

“Yeah, it’s your mummy.” You teared up slightly, cursing your hormones again.

“Why don’t we go take a nap, huh?” You cupped your belly, heading to your room and just hoping your baby could calm down enough to let you sleep.

“Goodnight angel.”

Being 9 months pregnant was ridiculously difficult. You yourself felt like the child, rather than the one you were carrying, at this point. You couldn’t do anything without someone else to help you. The Hollands had been utter angels to you, helping you with every little thing to make sure you were completely prepared to give birth.

“How you feeling today, mama?” Tom teased as you entered the kitchen to fulfill, yet another craving.

“Tired, and huge.” You whined, pouting at the oldest Holland. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and hugged you.

“Not long now, then you’ll have your adorable little girl.” You nodded your head, smiling at the thought.

“Feels like it’s taking forever.” You complained.

“Why don’t you go take a nap?” You nodded, thanking Tom before heading upstairs to Harry’s room. You weren’t sure where he was, assuming he was doing something with either his twin or his little brother.

Little did you know that this sleep was not going to be as peaceful as you originally hoped.

A sharp pain in your lower abdomen woke you from your sleep, jolting upright and cupping your large belly. You took deep breaths, letting your eyes adjust to being awake before checking the time on the clock next to Harry's bed. 

You convinced yourself it was nothing, pushing yourself out of bed to use the bathroom before you’d go back to sleep like nothing happened.

However, another sharp pain followed by a gush of water made you panic.

“Harry!” You shouted, not knowing where in the house he was. He ran into his childhood bedroom with a scared look on his face, finding you standing in the middle of the floor, cupping the bottom of your belly standing in a puddle of water and squeezing your eyes shut in pain.

“Hey.” He placed his hand on your lower back, the other lifting your chin to look at him. “What happened?” You panted as the contraction wore off.

“I-I think my water just broke.” His eyes widened, yelling for his Mum.

For the last few weeks of your pregnancy, you’d been staying in the Holland household just in case anything were to happen. It also meant you had Nikki’s help when you finally went into labour, just like right now.

“What’s wrong?” Harry looked at his mum in fear.

“Her water broke.” He simply stated. Nikki nodded, refusing to show any sign of panic as she made her way over to you.

“We need to get you to the car, Harry can you-“ He nodded, taking your hand and being careful to walk you downstairs, stopping halfway to help you wait out your contraction. 

When you were finally in the car you noticed Sam was now driving, giving him a tight lipped smile and a thank you.

“You’re doing so well, y/n.” You laid your head on Harry’s shoulder, squeezing his hand as you took deep breaths to try and calm the pain.

“So proud of you, bug.” You smiled, looking up at him.

“You haven’t called me that in years.” Truthfully, Harry stopped calling you that after he met Nate. there was one time where he let it slip, like a habit in front of him and he didn’t react too kindly about it.

“It just kinda slipped out.” You tucked your head into his neck again.

“I like it, don’t worry.” The drive felt as though it was never going to end. You wanted nothing more than to make it to the hospital and get your baby out of you so this pain would stop. Every few minutes you’d squeeze the life out of Harry’s hands, crying out in pain.

“We’re here.” Sam announced. You were helped into the hospital where you were led to a private room, your contractions growing closer together and, arguably more painful, as time passed by.

“Harry.” You whimpered, clutching his arm as another contraction shot through your body. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“You can, you’re one of the strongest people I know.” He said, pressing his lips to your head to try and calm you down.

“It hurts.” You looked up at him with tears threatening to fall from your eyes, his heart shattering as he had to witness the pain his favourite person was going through.

“You can do this, I know you can.” Half an hour later you were giving birth, one of the most painful, and if not, the most painful experience of your life. Harry stayed with you the whole time like he’d promised you all those months ago, letting you squeeze the life out of his hand. All while he’d whisper words of encouragement and praise to you.

“One final push, y/n.” You panted like a dog that needed water, listening to the doctor countdown from 10. The final push was the most relieving one of all, your baby girl finally being brought out into the world, her hearty wails echoing around the hospital room.

You leaned your head on Harry’s chest while they cleaned her, utterly worn out. The tiny girl was placed on your chest, a small sob slipping past your lips as you stared down at her.

One by one the doctors started to leave the room, checking you and baby were okay first.

Once you, Harry and your girl were left alone, you finally grinned widely.

“I can’t even believe she’s real.” You said.

“Did you decide on a name?” He asked, bending down to be closer to your height. You nodded with a grin, taking his hand into yours.

“What is it?” You turned your attention back to her.

“Happy birthday, Lily rose y/l/n.” You kissed her head, tears running down your face as you stared at your perfect creation. Harry grinned, tearing up slightly as he put it altogether.

“Roses for Lily?” You looked at him and nodded.

“My way of honouring you for everything you’ve done for me.” He leaned down and hugged you, trying to not let you know that he was secretly crying over the sweet gesture.

“A december baby, just like Paddy.” You giggled, nodding your head. You stroked her cheek as gently as you possibly could, feeling too emotional and filled with adoration to even speak. Her tiny, bright eyes fluttered to a close, feeling content enough with being in her mother’s arms to fall asleep.

You and Harry didn’t speak for a while, scared that even a quiet noise would wake up your precious angel. This continued until Harry eventually broke the silence, just to tell you how amazing you were.

“ ‘m so proud of you.” Harry stroked his fingers through your hair, disregarding that you were a sweaty mess as you finally held your little girl. She slept soundly as the two of you admired the little bub.

“Thank you Harry, really.” You whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“For what?” He asked.

“For helping me through this, all of it, I wouldn’t have survived the last 9 months without you.” You told him, tearfully.

“You don’t have to thank me, I would never make you do this alone.” He kissed your head, a small smile permanently glued to your face. Both of your attentions were directed back to Lily.

“She’s absolutely perfect.” He confessed. You nodded in agreement.

The little bub started to blink open her eyes, her sleep not lasting very long, showing you the gorgeous orbs that were the same colour as yours.

“Hi pretty girl.” She let out a yawn, the unknown action scaring her, you watched as her face scrunched up and she began to cry.

“Oh no, you’re okay, was just a yawn.” You nuzzled your nose against her head, gently placing your lips against her skin to soothe her.

“I know, it was scary hm?” The little one calmed down after a little while, entranced with Harry who sat in her eye line.

“That was the cutest thing ever.” You giggled, motioning for Harry to take a seat on your bed. He carefully leaned over and traced her cheek with his thumb, tearing up when her tiny hand wrapped around his much bigger thumb.

You smiled at the sight, laying your head against his chest. You didn’t want to kill the happy mood, but you couldn’t help but let your mind drift off to thinking about Nate.

“Should I text him, just to let him know?” You wondered aloud. Harry looked down at you and noticed the uncertainty clouded in your eyes.

“Did he ever respond to your last text?” You shook your head. Even though he said he wasn’t ready to be a father, you’d still sent Nate updates every now and then, sometimes pictures of sonograms, or sometimes if she was kicking, just to let him know his girl was doing okay.

“Just leave it, he clearly doesn’t care.” You nodded sadly, glancing back down at your bub, you noticed the discomfort on her face before she began to tear up, quickly turning into a heart wrenching wail, your own heart aching not knowing what was wrong.

“Y/n?” You lifted your head and glanced at Nikki standing in the doorway of your hospital room. “The midwife said she might need feeding, she should be in soon.” You nodded, cooing at the baby to try and stop her cries. You motioned for Nikki to come inside, letting her take a spare seat beside your bed, looking down at Lily with a watery smile.

There was a knock on your hospital room door a few minutes later, opening just slightly for the woman to pop her head around and announce her presence.

“Hi y/n.” You looked up, spotting the nurse and giving her a warm smile. “Are you ready to try and feed her?” 

You nodded your head, Harry’s eyes widening when he realised what was happening and that you would have to partly undress.

“I’ll wait outside.” He offered, trying to be a gentleman.

“Oh, are you sure?” You didn’t mind Harry being here while you fed Lily, but you respected that he might feel uncomfortable. He kissed your head before leaving the room, going to update his brothers on how everything was going.

Feeding Lily for the first time was a strange experience, but you were glad you had Nikki and the midwife by your side to tell you it was completely normal and you would eventually get used to it.

After feeding, burping and rocking the girl to sleep, Harry came back in, switching with his mother to take the place beside your bed. Nikki kissed your head in a motherly way and decided to leave to let you sleep.

“Nikki, if you want to go home, you can.” You said, feeling bad to make the family wait with you.

“Are you sure, we can always stay?” You smiled and nodded.

“I’ll have to stay here until tomorrow anyway, i’ll come straight to you.” She nodded, bidding you, Lily and her son goodbye.

You and Harry both sat in silence for a few minutes, just watching the baby in your arms sleep peacefully. Harry was, once again, first to break the silence.

“Why don’t you get some sleep, in the nicest way possible, y’look exhausted.” Harry commented, stroking his fingers through your hair as your eyes fought to stay open. Lily sleeping calmly in your arms.

“Don’t wanna miss a second.” You whined, looking over at Harry with a pout he found adorable.

“I'll watch her, I promise.” You nodded reluctantly, Harry carefully took the baby wrapped in the fluffy, white blanket into his arms, listening to your instructions on how to hold her properly, then assisting you in getting comfortable on the hospital bed.

For the next few hours, Harry stayed mesmerised with the newborn in his arms, while you got some well deserved sleep after an extremely long day. 

<<<<>>>>

Harry drove you to the Holland house before driving you home from the hospital the next morning, watching you be completely entranced with your little creation. You were so careful with every movement you made, trying not to scare or overwhelm her. 

She was properly introduced to each of the Holland siblings, giving the boys the chance to hold her and just talk to her. The whole thing turned out to be a lot more chaotic than you would have originally anticipated.

“Where does my hand go?” Tom asked frantically. You guided one to the back of her head and then the other to hold her back. You told Tom he was doing perfect, calming his nerves slightly.

Paddy was much less of a nightmare than Tom, not even needing the help to position his hands. He looked in awe of the tiny human that was staring up at him, his heart all fuzzy and excited.

Sam was a pro, clearly having held many babies in his lifetime, probably because of all the Holland siblings he could be trusted the most with a human life. “She’s gorgeous, y/n.” Harry and Tom nodded, Paddy still not taking his eyes off the girl in his brother's arms.

Nikki cried while getting to finally hold Lily, her heart swelling with pride. You were practically a daughter to her and she couldn’t find the words to explain how proud she was of you. Harry watched your eyes grow heavier and heavier, deciding it was time to take you back to your own home now. They were all reluctant to let you leave, making you promise you’d be back as soon as possible, which of course you were more than happy to do.

Driving back to your own home, you were filled with the excitement of the idea of introducing Lily into the place she’d grow up.

It didn’t take long to get there, Harry helping to carry your stuff inside while you cradled your babygirl. 

“This is your home Lily.” Harry watched you both, practically with heart eyes bulging from his head. You showed Lily around some more. You were fully aware that she didn’t understand anything you were saying, but you were hoping that just your voice was capable of soothing the girl. Harry was carrying your hospital bag with him as you led him to the nursery.

You had some hesitations about leaving her in a separate room from you, knowing that she’d need you multiple times in the night anyway.

“Would it be too much trouble to put her crib in my room?” You asked him, hoping he’d be able to move it for you. He shook his head no, taking your bag to your room first. When he came back with the crib you could see he was visibly struggling to get it through the door. You felt bad for laughing, but watching Harry struggle like this just seemed to crack you up.

“I’m glad you find this funny.” He muttered sarcastically, pushing his curls out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered through your giggles, rubbing Lily’s back.

The crib was rolled into place a little space away from your bed, letting you lay your baby girl down on the soft fabric of the blanket inside.

“There we go.” You watched the girl quickly fall asleep in her new crib, your heart warm and happy. Harry sat beside you, shoulders and thighs touching you were that close.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Incredible, I never thought i could love someone so much.” He couldn’t help but smile at you, you looked perfect to him right now. The dopey smile never left your face, the same giddy feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach since the night before. A small yawn escaped your lips, Harry thinking it was the cutest sound ever.

“You tired?” He asked. You nodded, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Come on.” You furrowed your eyebrows, tilting your head like a confused puppy.

“What?” You asked, rubbing your tired eyes.

“Get some sleep, you’ve had a long day.” He kissed your head. You checked on Lily one more time. 

“What if she needs me?”

“She doesn’t need you right now, at least get some sleep while you still can.” You sighed before you climbed into bed, already in pyjamas. You pulled your covers up over your body, right up to your chin and almost passed out as soon as your head hit the soft pillow, not realising you were this unbelievably tired.

“Will you stay?” You asked quietly, the idea of being without him seeming to scare you slightly. Harry smiled, nodding his head, laying down beside you. You cuddled into his side, resting your head on his chest comfortably.

“Sweet dreams y/n.” You hummed, nuzzling your face in his warm hoodie.

“Love you, Harry.” You mumbled. He blushed, a silly smile spreading on his face.

“Love you more.” He mumbled, right as you drifted off.

Just as you had suspected, Lily needed you sooner than your body appreciated, seeing as from the time on the clock you’d only been asleep a couple of hours. You woke up to the sound of her cries from the crib, pushing yourself up out of bed and shuffling over to her.

“Oh no, you’re okay.” You hadn’t realised that you’d woken Harry in your haste to get to Lily, the male stretching his muscles, confused himself about when he had fallen asleep.

“She okay?” He asked, voice raspy and full of sleep.

“ ‘m not sure.” You’d already checked her nappy, finding it clean, your next thought being that she was hungry.

“Do you mind if i try and feed her?” Harry was slightly taken back, eyes wide, reduced to a stuttering mess as he thought about you having your bare chest exposed in front of him.

“No, of course, s-she needs to eat, go ahead.” He turned his head away to give you some privacy, finding anything else to put his focus on. He heard you huff, a small whimper coming from you as well.

“Everything okay?” He asked, hearing you sniffle.

“She won’t latch on.” You complained, pulling your shirt up and cradling Lily to your chest. He knew you well enough to know you were getting stressed, not knowing how to help her.

“Can i try?” He asked, noticing the tears welled up in your waterline. You nodded your head, assisting Harry in taking Lily into his arms. 

He cooed at the small baby, shushing her and holding her head just under his chin. It didn’t take long for her cries to begin to quieten down, Harry’s scent or presence must have had a strong effect on her because she was calm again in a few minutes.

You didn’t have the energy to be sad or mad that Harry was able to handle her better than you already. You simply rested your chin on his shoulder, kissing his cheek as a thank you.

“You go back to sleep, I'll hold her just a little bit longer.” You nodded sleepily, climbing back into your bed and falling to sleep with the knowledge that Lily was in perfectly good hands.

“You’re okay, aren’t you?” The girl blinked up at him, her eyes curious as she watched the curly haired man talk. She obviously didn’t understand a word he was saying, but that didn’t matter now that she was calm and happy.

“Goodnight Lily.” He carefully placed her down in the crib, watching over her until she drifted off. Harry climbed into your bed as quietly as he could, trying his hardest to not wake you with all the movement.

He froze when you rolled over, accepting your warmth as you cuddled back into his side like you were earlier.

“Is she okay?” You asked, half awake.

“She’s perfect.”

It was officially only days before christmas and Lily was already almost 2 weeks old, which you couldn’t believe. You’d gotten help to make sure you had everything prepared present wise, but you and Lily were going to spend actual Christmas day with the Hollands.

A sudden distressed cry woke you from your sleep, pushing yourself out of your bed to tend to your babygirl. You moved around to the other side of your bed, your baby looking at you with teary eyes and a red face.

“Oh, there’s my little angel.” You gently lifted her from her crib, holding her against your chest and gently stroking her back. You bounced her gently, pressing kisses to her head to try and soothe her.

“You’re okay.” She continued to wail in your ear, your heart aching for your precious girl.

“You hungry darling?” You looked at her distressed face, taking a seat on your bed, lifting your shirt up to let her latch on.

You sighed, leaning your head back and glancing at the time on your phone screen. 4:23am.

“We’re gonna have to get you a better sleep schedule baby.” After she was done feeding, you carefully laid her back down in her crib, watching over her for a few minutes to make sure she was okay, before climbing back into bed yourself. You were out like a light the second your head hit your pillow, you were utterly exhausted.

The next morning you were woken again by loud babbles from Lily, checking the time and seeing it was almost 10am.

You sighed, pushing yourself out of bed and scooping the girl up in your arms. Harry would be coming over soon anyway. You changed Lily’s nappy and dressed her in a fluffy purple onesie, making your way into your living room to set her down in the kitchen, so you could make breakfast.

“Y/n?” You called back with a ‘hey’, letting Harry know where you were. 

He entered the kitchen with a smile, moving over to the little baby to give her some affection.

“There's my favourite little girl.” She babbled, reaching up to try and touch his face. He carefully picked her up out of her high chair, pressing kisses to her cheeks and having a mini conversation with her. At least as best he could considering she didn’t understand anything he was saying.

“So, how’s it going being a mum?” Harry asked, entranced with the girl in his arms who was grabbing at his fingers.

“I adore her but,” You paused, seeing Harry look up in concern at the ‘but’. “I’m so stressed and sleep deprived.” Harry could see how tense you were, he’d noticed how tired you looked when he first came in, but he didn’t want to sound rude.

“I didn’t realise it’d be this hard by myself.” You complained.

“Let me look after her for a few hours,” He offered. “Go and catch up on some sleep.” You were hesitant, feeling bad to burden him with Lily, but also growing slightly protective over her.

“She’ll be okay, would i ever let you down?” You shook your head, thanking him.

“Be good for Harry.” You kissed her head, Harry pouting when he didn’t get a forehead kiss too.

“Anyone would think you’re the newborn.” He grinned, accepting your kiss with a smile.

“Have a good sleep.”

“Thank you,” A lightbulb went off in your head, realising he didn’t know what to do. You turned back around to tell him and he simply rolled his eyes. “If she cries, there’s a bottle in the fridge, just heat it up, nappies are in in her nursery and-“

“I’ll be fine, if I need any help I'll call my mum.” You nodded, taking a deep breath before heading to bed to catch up on lots of missed sleep.

“Looks like it’s just me and you now.” Harry spoke to the girl. The two had a fairly enjoyable time together, Harry in love with everything she did and the girl in awe of him. It was hours later that you were trudging into the living room looking much more refreshed. Harry was sitting on the couch, Lily against his chest while the curly haired man talked to her.

“How did it go?” You asked, taking a seat next to them and resting your head on Harry’s shoulder.

“She was a perfect angel, didn’t cry once.” He boasted. You grinned, stroking her chubby cheek.

“Thank you for helping me, my hero.” You kissed his cheek, watching Lily scrunch up his shirt in her tiny fist. It wasn’t long before your bub began to get uncomfortable, beginning to cry her small heart out.

“I think she’s finally ready for her nap.” You carefully lifted her off of Harry’s chest, taking her over to the bassinet you kept in your living room. You laid her down, hovering over her for a few minutes to make sure she knew you were there.

“Go to sleep hunny, I know you’re tired.” You watched her eyes flutter shut, content with the world around her.

“And then there were two.” You said, sitting down next to Harry again. He yawned and stretched his arms above his head.

“I mean, I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted after watching her.” You huffed.

“Don’t leave me yet.” You begged, staring at him with puppy dog eyes.

“Can I just nap here?” He asked, watching you think about it.

“I guess so.” You said, Harry scoffing at how unamused you sounded. You flashed him a cheeky grin, motioning for him to lay his head on your lap.

“Here.” You handed him a fluffy blanket that you usually kept on the back of your couch, throwing it over his body to keep him warm. You spent the next hour stroking through his curls, watching him sleep peacefully with the comfort of your warmth. With your other hand you just scrolled through your phone, not wanting to disturb Harry with the sounds of the tv.

He eventually started to shift, signalling to you that he was waking up. His hair was messy and he looked absolutely adorable, staring up at you with tired eyes.

“Thank you.” He mumbled. Nuzzling his face into your hoodie material.

“Always.” 

<<<<>>>>

3 days later and it was officially Christmas day, you were getting Lily’s stuff together to head over to the Hollands. You had already taken presents over a few days earlier, just so today you only had to bring yourself and your baby.

The drive over to the Holland household was quite pleasant. There was soft christmas music playing in the background, with the bubbly feeling of excitement in the pit of your stomach.

Getting out of the warmth of your car, you were hit with the freezing december weather, rubbing your hands together for warmth.

Lily was quick to protest at the change in temperature with a small uncomfortable cry, her chubby cheeks turning a soft pink shade as the cold hit her.

Your cold knuckles knocked on the front door of the house, a shiver running through your body.

You wrapped Lily’s coat around her tighter, pulling her little hat down and doing everything you could to protect her from the blistering cold. The door to the Holland house opened a few minutes later to a smiley Harry. Welcoming you inside.

“There’s my favourite girl.” Harry said, taking Lily from your arms and cradling her close to his warmth. You scowled at him playfully.

“Me or her?” You asked, teasing your best friend. “Be careful with your answer.” 

“You, obviously.” He stated, like it was a fact. When you nodded, seemingly satisfied, he leaned in close to Lily, his mouth close to her tiny ear.

“I lied, it’s definitely you.” He whispered to the girl, tickling her to make her giggle. You scoffed.

“I heard that, Holland.” He laughed, sending you a teasing wink.

You followed him into the living room, seeing the other Holland’s scattered around doing various things.

“We have visitors.” Harry announced, motioning to you. Sam was quick to practically snatch Lily, peppering her cheek with soft kisses.

“Merry christmas y/n!” Nikki said, pulling you into a tight hug. You said it back, thanking her for letting you crash their Christmas day.

“You’re always welcome.” Tom was next to pull you into a hug, ruffling your hair like an older brother would. 

“Did I hear y/n?” Paddy asked, slipping into the living room to look for you.

“Hi, little man.” The nickname caused him to groan, it’d been something you’d called him for years, even after he passed you in height.

“I’m taller than you.” You rolled your eyes, pulling him into a hug.

“And I don’t care.” You simply stated. You watched Lily receive all the affection she could ever ask for, babbling incoherent things. 

“Can we open presents now?” Paddy asked, motioning to the pile under the tree.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” You whined, feeling bad that the teenager was unable to have a normal christmas morning.

“You’re here now, so let’s get started!” Paddy announced. You stifled a laugh, nodding your head. You watched with a smile as the lads fussed Lily, helping her rip open the wrapping paper on her presents.

“Come here a second.” Harry said, tapping your shoulder. He took your hand and lead you away from his family.

“This is for Lily.” You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend.

“It better not be another stuffed animal, she has too many already.” You joked. Harry shook his head with a small grin, telling you to just open it. Harry had pulled you over to a more quiet part of the living room to give you this, not wanting his brothers to see or hear.

“A blanket?” You asked, looking at him in confusion. A blush rose to his cheeks. He showed you the space where Lily’s name was engraved in, only confusing you further.

“I don’t get it- why did we have to open it separately?” You asked.

“I-i may have made it.” He stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You awed, finding it cute that he’d go through so much trouble for you.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not.” You argued. “I think it’s adorable.” You said, squeezing his cheek playfully.

“I didn’t really know what to get her so-“

“Harry, this is perfect, thank you.” 

After all the presents came the part all the Holland boys were the most excited about; christmas dinner.

They practically ran to the dining room when Nikki announced it was ready, taking their seats at the table and digging into their plates like animals.

“You’re like savages.” Nikki muttered, receiving a laugh from you as you dug into your own food. Every now and then you’d alternate between eating and amusing Lily so she wouldn’t cry.

You pinched her cheek gently, wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth with a napkin.

“Such a messy baby.” You said. She just babbled, showing you her gummy smile that made your heart flutter.

“A bit like Harry.” Sam said, receiving a slap to the arm from his twin. You laughed at the two, leaving your angel to finish up the last bits of your meal.

After dessert Nikki turned down your offer to help clean up, forcing one of her boys to do it instead. Tom groaned, trailing to the kitchen with some dirty dishes in his hands, muttering complaints on the way.

“Nikki, that was amazing, thank you.” She smiled, kissing your head as she walked by. The table was disturbed when your little bub began to cry, you being able to recognise that she was crying for food.

“I think she’s hungry.” You pouted, lifting her up into your arms.

“Go feed her, we’ll sort this.” Sam said, motioning to the table that needed clearing.

“Are you sure?” You asked, feeling slightly bad.

“Unless Harry’s going to grow boobs and feed her, I'm pretty sure you’re the only one that can.” Harry slapped his twin upside the head, calling him an idiot. You just laughed, making your way up the stairs to feed your precious angel.

<<<<>>>>

“I really enjoyed today, thank you.” Harry squeezed your shoulders gently.

“We’re all glad you were both here.” The two of you continued to get ready for bed, you also getting Lily into her onesie. The three of you would be sharing Harry’s bed in his childhood room for the night, having to make sure Lily stayed safe between you both.

You climbed under the covers, next to your already sleeping daughter. You had a smile gracing your face, one that Harry couldn’t help but completely adore.

“Goodnight Harry, merry christmas.” You whispered, laying your arm over Lily gently to make sure she’d be safe.

“Merry christmas y/n.” 

“Tom, what am I going to do for the twins' birthday, I have no idea what to get for them.” You complained down the phone, collapsing on your bed. Tom sighed on the other end of the phone, running his hand over his face, exasperated.

“I’m having the same problem.” He huffed sadly.

“We don’t have long either.” You reasoned, glancing at the date on your calendar, which read the 10th.

“Do you want to go out at some point, look for some presents together?” He asked. You sat up, eyes widening.

“Yeah, I think that’d be a perfect idea.” You said excitedly.

“We’ll need to talk about the party too, mum’s been shouting at me to plan something as soon as possible.” You giggled.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

You and Tom planned when and where you were going to go, the male telling you how excited he was to see Lily again, especially after not seeing her for the past few days because of how busy he’s been with work.

“Are you more excited to see Lily than me?” You asked, feigning offense.

“You have an adorable baby, can you really blame me?” You rolled your eyes.

“No not really.” You laughed.

“So, i’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, checking with you.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Just like he promised, Tom was knocking on your door the next day, announcing he was ready to take you and Lily out shopping. You kissed Lily’s head, walking to the door and opening it for your friend, welcoming him in. He was quick to take the angel out of your arms, giving her sweet kisses all over her face while you zipped up her tiny coat. The girl babbled happily, making you smile as you got her stuff together. 

“You ready to go?” He asked. You nodded, letting him be the one to lay Lily down in her pram. 

The two of you had agreed on walking to your destination. The walk was pleasant, the two of you having the chance to catch up on everything you’ve missed, and for Tom to catch up on everything he’d missed with your little bub.

You wrapped the tiny coat and blanket tighter around Lily in her pram, trying to shield her from the cold February air. Tom smiled at the bubbly baby, wrapping his own coat around himself tighter.

“She looks so cute.” He pointed out, poking her chubby cheeks gently. You giggled, nodding your head. She basically only looked like a little chubby head under all the layers.

“Now, let’s go.” You announced, dragging Tom towards the shops where you were going to find your presents for the Holland boys. He led you straight to a jewellery shop, wanting to look at the expensive watches they had to offer.

“Tom, you can’t be serious.” You said, watching him gawk at the very pricey rolex.

“Why not?” He asked teasingly. You shook your head at him, deciding to look around. You noticed Lily was staring at the way the jewels and sparkles would shine when they caught the light, the baby completely entranced. You carefully picked her up, keeping the blanket wrapped around her so she didn’t get cold. You pointed out the shiny metals, talking to her quietly as she stared amazed.

“I think she’s enjoying herself.” Tom mumbled coming up behind you, getting a nod in response.

“Did you buy the watch?” You asked. Tom lifted the bag, an eye roll coming from you.

“Gonna split it with my mum and dad, promise.” 

“Now you have to help me.” 

You and Tom forgot to anticipate that paps would take any opportunity to catch you two together, to use pictures for false, shocking headlines.

The two of you didn’t even realise, too focused on finding the perfect birthday presents for the twins. You had enjoyed the majority of your day, forgetting how fun it was to spend time with him.

It was only when you got multiple messages from Harry, sending you screenshots of the headline that stated:

‘Tom Holland’s secret family spotted out in London together.”

The picture was of you and Tom laughing, the male pushing Lily’s pram, beaming down at her.

You were completely over it. You barely even wanted to show Tom. He was finally getting a break, showing Lily all the cute teddy bears. He loved hearing the girl laugh from the second she learned how to. 

“Tom?” You called, watching his head turn around to look at you, a large smile on his face and the almost 2 month old babbling happily in his arms. You handed him your phone, seeing his face drop and him sigh angrily. 

“Just ignore it, I’ll get someone on it later.” You nodded, wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing him. You laid your head on his shoulder, welcoming the friendly kiss he placed on your head.

“Now, let me buy my adorable niece a teddy bear and we can actually get what we came for.” You giggled, rolling your eyes at the idea of more stuffed toys coming into your flat. After Tom bought her the bear, she wouldn’t let it go, her tiny hands clinging on to it as Tom carried her throughout the next shop you visited.

You thankfully did end up finding a present for both Harry and Sam. Your gift to Sam was rather simple, just some things he could use for cooking. However, your gift to Harry was a lot more meaningful. Every time you’d been out together over the last few months, Harry had eyed the same new camera in a shop window. You knew how badly he wanted it, but he was so attached to his current camera that he would never buy it for himself. So, you decided to give him a little push, buying it for him to surprise him on his birthday.

Nothing much else really happened with the whole press situation, until you got home that was, finding Harry waiting by your flat door.

“Oh hi, I didn’t know you were coming over.” He helped you get the pram through the door, waiting awkwardly while you put Lily down for her nap, even if she slept a lot while you were out.

“So, to what do I owe the honour?” You asked light heartedly. You were in a rather good mood after spending a fun day with one of your oldest friends. You grabbed a bottle of water and turned to face Harry with a smile.

“Why were you with Tom?” He asked, rather viciously too. Your smile dropped, tilting your head in confusion.

“What?” 

“Well you’re part of his secret family now so-“ You sighed.

“Can we please not talk about this?” He reluctantly nodded, the two of you standing in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Harry broke the silence again, something he was always good at doing.

“Why were you out with Tom, doing- whatever that headline said.” You rolled your eyes, annoyed that you were talking about this again.

“Are you in love with him or something!” It physically hurt Harry to even ask, the idea that the girl of his dreams was in love with his brother instead of him.

“Harry, you’re being ridiculous.” You muttered. He huffed angrily.

“I’m being ridiculous, really?” His voice was slowly growing louder.

“It’s ridiculous that we’re still talking about this.” You complained. 

“Why won’t you tell me what was going on?” He asked.

“Harry, please quieten down, I don't want Lily to wake up.” You begged. He ran his hands over his face, breathing deeply.

“Stop ignoring the question, are you in love with Tom, yes or no?” You heard a loud wail, your heart dropping as you started to make your way towards the nursery.

“Y/n!” You turned around and glared at him.

“Harry, I’m in love with you, you idiot, not Tom.” Harry gasped, through your anger you hadn’t even realised your slip up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a crying baby to go and help.” Harry stared at you in shock as you walked away. 

He was frozen in his spot, processing the last few minutes over again in his head. He cursed himself, walking in a haste over to the nursery.

He knocked on the open door, watching you cradle a crying Lily before entering.

You didn’t acknowledge him, but he knew he could talk and you would hopefully listen.

“I’m sorry for waking her.” Harry watched as you bounced the girl in your arms, holding her to your chest.

“S’okay.” You whispered.

“So, we need to talk about what you said.” You sighed, tears springing to your eyes at the memory of your accidental confession, fear filling your body.

“Let me just put her down, then we can.” He nodded, leaving you to go and take a seat in the living room. Once Lily was calm and sleeping again, you laid her down in her crib, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself. 

“I can do this.” You hyped yourself up. You entered your living room and found Harry sitting there, nervously wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“Hi.” You mumbled quietly, secretly hoping he wouldn’t hear you. Harry’s head whipped in your direction, so fast you were surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash. He gave you a tight lipped smile, motioning for you to take a seat beside him.

“Look I-“

“I shouldn’t have-“ You both began speaking at the same time, laughing quietly.

“You go first.” You said, not really wanting to talk about your feelings straight away, especially with it still being a mystery about how Harry feels.

“You know I’ve always been intimidated by Tom and you know, you’re my best friend not his.” He whined, sounding quite like a child, “I’m sorry for snapping.” You nodded understandingly, taking his hand into yours. Your fingers laced together like it was completely natural.

“We were just shopping for birthday presents for you and Sam.” You whispered, seeing the frown take over his face. 

“I’m so sorry.” He apologised. You were quick to forgive him, just like you always were. You found it impossible to be mad at him when he was just so adorable.

“So, what did you need to tell me?” He said, filling you with dread.

“Please don’t make me repeat it, i’m already nervous.” You huffed, looking at him for any sign of mercy. He grinned.

“I’m in love with you too.” He ran his fingers through your hair gently, tucking it behind your ear.

“Why are we like this?” He asked. 

“We’ve just been completely oblivious.” You said, turning to watch him. He shuffled closer, thighs touching in a comforting way.

You rested your foreheads together, laughing quietly as you looked at eachother. The heat of the moment suddenly took over and you were both leaning in, your lips connecting in a sweet first kiss, one that had been building up for the last 11 years. Your lips molded together, your hands coming up to tug at Harry’s curls. One of his hands cupped your jaw, trying to pull you impossibly closer to him.

“Harry-“ You mumbled, trying to pull away. He whined, shaking his head and pushing on the back of your neck to connect your lips again.

You hummed, tugging on his hair a little too tightly to pull his head back.

“What was that for?” He pouted, chasing your lips to try and pull you back into another kiss. Your heart fluttered.

“Why did we wait so long to do this?” You asked, running your fingertips over the short curls on the back of his head, trying to soothe the sore spot you’d tugged on.

“Cause we're idiots.” He muttered with a cheeky smile, shrugging his shoulders simply. You giggled, nodding your head.

“I know things aren’t as easy as it’d normally be, you know with Lily but-“

“Harry, you’re basically her dad at this point.” You stated. Realising what you said might freak him out, you felt the need to elaborate. “I-i mean, you spend so much time with her, she loves you.” He smiled, a soft blush coating his cheeks.

“Really?” You nodded. He grinned uncontrollably, lifting his hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb.

“Do you maybe, want to give us a go?” He asked.

“Not if that’s how you’re going to ask.” You sassed, jokingly of course. His face fell, shaking his head.

“Right, uh.” He lifted his head, looking directly into your eyes. “Y/n Y/l/n, will you be my girlfriend?” 

Your heart fluttered, hearing the words you’d wanted to hear for so long.

“Harry Holland,” You said, cupping his cheek with your hand, stroking your thumb along his cheekbone. “I would like nothing more.” 

“Where’s Lily?” He asked breathlessly, pulling off his jacket and tossing it somewhere in your room. You giggled, barely even registering his question when his lips brushed your neck, tickling the sensitive skin.

“Her uncles wanted to spend some quality time with her.” You explained. He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, not understanding what you meant. “She’s with Tom and Paddy, they wanted to take her for the night.” He groaned, a bright smile spreading across his face. “So, we’re completely alone.” You said suggestively.

“I’ve never been more grateful to have brothers than right now.” You laughed, feeling him nip at your chest.

“Uh-uh.” You said, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip. “No marks though, unless you’re willing to explain where I got them.” You breathed, already noticing a few start to bloom on your chest.

“Good point.” He hummed, leaning in to kiss you. The kiss was vastly different from Harry’s quick movements only seconds ago. It was slow and passionate, like you both had all the time in the world to show each other this kind of affection.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, brushing some stray hair from your face.

“Yeah, been wanting to do this for years.” You admitted.

Yours and Harry’s night included multiple rounds of fun after gaining both of your consent, taking full advantage of not having to focus on your daughter right now. 

“We should not have waited that long to do that.” You said, completely breathless as Harry collapsed to your side, letting his head hit the pillow. He chuckled from beside you, letting you cuddle into his side, ignoring how sweaty you both were. 

“Get some sleep, you seem like you need it.” He said. “Looks like I wore you out.” He teased. You scoffed, weakly hitting his chest.

“You need it more than me old man.” He gasped, feigning offense as you both burst into a fit of giggles.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom first, I’ll be back soon handsome.” You weren’t gone for long, not wanting to be away from Harry’s body for too long. You simply did your business and then headed back.

On your way back into your room you saw Harry’s eyes drooping, looking like he was about to pass out from exhaustion any second.

“You’re so cute when you’re tired.” You commented, crawling back into your bed and cuddling up into his side, your head laying on his chest. He nuzzled his face on the top of your head, sighing.

“You’re like a puppy.” You said, seeing his face screw up in disagreement. “You are.” You giggled.

“Shh, go to sleep.” He said tiredly, holding his finger to your lips to keep you quiet. You rolled your eyes, kissing his finger to make him sleepily giggle.

“Goodnight.” He just hummed in response, too tired to even respond.

You slept incredibly that night. Whether it was just because you’d been worn out, or if it was because you were in Harry’s warm hold, you didn’t find yourself stirring until the late hours of the morning.

Harry seemed to already be awake, staring out of your bedroom window at the morning sky from the comfort of your bed.

“Morning.” You mumbled, kissing his chest softly. He turned his head, smiling down at you. He ran the back of his hand over your cheek, then his thumb over your bottom lip. You leaned up, kissing him slowly before pulling back.

“Good morning.” He greeted. The two of you laid together still in bliss of your previous events until the last minute you could, your naked front rested against Harrys, his hand stroking over the expanse of your back, while your hand rested on his chest.

“So, are you coming to mine and Sam’s party?” He asked, tracing random shapes on the small of your bare back. You copied the shapes he traced on your back and traced them onto his own skin, a small truly happy smile on your lips. You placed a gentle kiss on his chest before shuffling to rest your chin on the same spot.

“Of course, I wouldn't miss it.” You refrained from telling him about the part where you were actually going to help plan said party. He looked down at you, raising his hand to brush some of your tangled hair out of your face. The two of you just stared at each other for a while, admiring one another’s features.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered. He felt your body grow hot, laughing to himself at how he could make you so easily flustered. He kept showering you with compliments just to see you get more and more embarrassed, your cheeks growing even more pink with each and every compliment. You buried your head in his chest, your arms coming around his stomach to hug him tightly.

“Stop.” You whined. His hand moved up to thread in your hair, stroking your head with a small smile. The air changed between you two, leaning up you pressed your lips on his, kissing him with the same passion you’d kissed him with during your first kiss last night.

“Oh, are we doing this again?” He asked. You giggled, nodding your head. You climbed into his lap, straddling him, feeling his hands secure themselves around your thighs.

Harry grew impatient, leaning in to capture your lips in another mind-blowing kiss. Your hands were cupping the back of his neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer. 

You heard a sudden knock on your front door, forgetting about the plans you had for today, Harry pulling away from your lips to ask if you wanted to get it. You shook your head, pushing your lips back on his. You giggled when Harry bit your lip teasingly, hearing another loud knock from on your door. You groaned, Harry resting his forehead on yours.

“Do you need to get that?” He asked, just making sure.

“Just ignore it, they’ll go away.” You muttered, relishing in the feeling of Harry’s hands on your body. Your kiss didn’t last much longer, hearing the front door open and the voice of your friend echoe around the flat.

“Y/n, i’m here.” Your eyes widened, glancing at the time and quickly jumping off of your boyfriend to throw on some clothes. You pulled on underwear and a hoodie, noticing Harry wasn’t moving.

“Get dressed.” You whisper yelled, throwing his clothes at him. He furrowed his eyebrows but listened, getting dressed in a haste, not wanting to be caught butt-naked in your bedroom by your unexpected visitor.

“Who is that?” He mouthed. You whispered back a quiet ‘Harrison’ and he furrowed his eyebrows, silently questioning why Harrison was in your flat.

“Y/n?” You heard his footsteps growing closer to your room.

“Shit.” You cursed, beginning to panic. You shoved your boyfriend in your bathroom, apologising profusely as you closed the door. There was a knock on your bedroom door.

“Y/n, can I come in?” He asked. You finished buttoning up your jeans, quickly checking yourself over in the mirror.

“Uh, yeah, come on in.” He opened the door, flashing you a smile.

“Tom’s on his way with Lily, do you want to talk about the plans for the party now or-“ Your eyes widened, not wanting Harry to hear about any of the plans.

“We’ll wait for Tom, but um, do you mind just getting me Lily’s feeding blanket from the nursery.” You asked. “She’ll probably be hungry when she gets here.” He nodded, leaving your room to go next door. You opened the bathroom door, motioning for Harry to come out quietly.

“The plans for the party, huh, what party would that be?” He teased. You slapped his arm, giving him a quick kiss and telling him he needed to leave quietly.

“Am I seeing you tonight?” He asked, sneaking in one final kiss as he checked Harrison wasn’t there. 

“Yeah, come over around 8?” You suggested. He nodded, grinning before sneaking out to the living room. You followed him out, just in case you had to hide him again.

“Hey, y/n?” Your eyes widened, pushing Harry to hide behind your couch where no one could see him. You heard him quietly groan in pain, trying to mask the laugh you wanted to let out.

“Yeah?” Harrison popped his head out of the nursery, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“I can’t find it, do you have any idea where it is?” He asked. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the pink blanket sitting on the sofa, quickly pushing it out of sight when he wasn’t looking.

“Try looking in the wardrobe, it might’ve gotten caught up with her clothes.” He nodded, heading back in. You let out a breath, motioning for Harry to go as quickly as he could.

“That hurt.” He pouted. You smiled sheepishly, pecking his lips and pushing him in the direction of the door.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” He kissed your lips one last time before slipping on his shoes and rushing out of your flat. You took a deep breath, grabbing the blanket and calling for Harrison. He came back out of the room empty handed, apologising before noticing the fabric sitting in your hands.

“I am so sorry, it got lost in some clothes I need to put away.” You motioned to the pile of folded clothes on the table, smiling sheepishly. He laughed, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry about it, at least you found it.” You smiled gratefully, feeling slightly bad that you were lying to your friends.

Within the next half an hour Tom had shown up with your baby girl, announcing his presence obnoxiously loudly when he entered the room.

“There’s my angel.” You said, lifting Lily out of Tom’s arms to pepper her face with kisses. She babbled at you, your heart exploding when she tried to reach for you. 

You settled her against your chest, her head resting on your shoulder, the material of your shirt scrunched up in her tiny fist.

“Was she okay?” You asked, watching Tom take Lily’s things out of her pram.

“She was perfect, she cried a little through the night but I got her down again.” He said, smiling at the little baby, who’d moved on to playing with your necklace.

“Make yourself comfortable.” You smiled, motioning to where Harrison was already laying on your couch like it was his own home.

“Thank you, kind sir.” He teased, joining his best friend. You rolled your eyes at them, taking a seat on the singular arm chair, your girl sitting happily in your lap.

“So, we should start with where it’s happening.” Tom said.

It ended up being decided that Nikki and Dom would host the party at the boy’s childhood home. Tom and Paddy were going to help decorate, while you, Lily and Harrison would distract the twins, purely because you two could keep a secret, unlike Tom.

Like children, the two lads managed to get distracted easily, seeing which of the two could punch each other first, which you thought was absolutely ridiculous.

“Is that everything?” You asked, having to snap the two out of their little moment. The two nodded their heads sheepishly under your gaze, the same look they’d received from their own mothers countless times.

They stayed and talked for a while, feeling bad to just leave you by yourself for the rest of the day. However Tom did receive a few texts from his mum, asking what was going on.

“Well we should get going, gotta tell everyone else the plan of action.” You nodded your head, hugging them both. 

For the rest of the day you simply sorted the chores that Harry prevented you from doing by taking up all your time.

When the clock hit eight you prepared yourself for Harry’s arrival.

Not too much longer after that you heard a quiet knock on your door that made you smile, opening it rather quickly to find your boyfriend standing there with bags of junk food in his hands.

“I stopped at the chinese on the way, thought you’d enjoy it.” You grinned, just looking at him in complete adoration.

“I missed you.” You giggled when he pressed his lips all over your face, finally stopping when he reached your lips.

“You saw me this morning.” You said. Harry chose to ignore you, setting the food down on the kitchen island.

“Is she here?” He asked, a wide smile on his face. You rolled your eyes and nodded, leading him to the nursery where Lily was fast asleep. He awed quietly.

“She’s so cute.” He whined.

“She should be, I made her.” You teased. He laughed, shaking his head at you.

“That explains it.” He said, squeezing your cheeks together with an adorable giggle.

The two of you spent the majority of the rest of the night in each other's arms. You ate and then watched countless films, cuddled up under a fluffy blanket on your couch, while Lily was sleeping undisturbed in her room.

He noticed you yawn a few times, prompting him to ask if you were tired.

“Are you tired?” He whispered, affectionately nuzzing your cheek with his adorable nose. You nodded your head, shifting more onto your side so you could cling to him. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” He mumbled, ignoring your pitiful whine when helping you up. 

Harry did it all for you, practically carrying you to your bedroom, helped you get into comfy clothes, tied your hair back, took off your makeup and even helped you brush your teeth when you were too tired. Your heart soared every time he did even the smallest of tasks, feeling like you’d melt into a puddle of adoration for the man when he finally helped you into bed.

“Goodnight y/n.” You smiled lazily, resting your cheek against the soft material of his t-shirt covered back. Your arm came up and wrapped around his waist, so you were spooning him for a change.

“Night Harry.” 

And just like the night before, you slept soundly in his arms.

<<<<>>>>

So on the morning of the 14th, the twins’ birthday and coincidentally valentines day too, you packed up Lily’s things and headed over to the Holland house, knocking gently on the door. Paddy opened it with a smile that only grew when he saw you.

You gave him a quick hug, asking where the twins were. He gave you a quick, unhelpful shrug before immersing himself in playing with your daughter. You could hear the baby squeal loudly as you walked away, calling both of the twins’ names.

“I heard my name.” Sam announced, being taken off guard when you pretty much pounced on him.

“Hey, y/n, good to see you.” You wrapped your arms around Sam, practically suffocating him with your hug.

“Happy birthday.” You said. He laughed in your ear, muttering a thank you before he let go. You opened your mouth to ask him the question he already knew you were going to ask.

“He’s with mum in the living room.” You grinned, nodding your head and practically running off to the living room.

Harry opened his arms to you as soon as he saw your smiley face, letting you sit on his knee to give him a hug.

“Happy birthday.” He thanked you, both of you ignoring the suggestive look from Nikki. The two of you embraced the hug a little bit longer before you finally pulled away first, telling him that he had to come with you.

“Come on.” You laced your fingers in his, pulling him with you to go and find his older brother. You finally found him with Paddy and Lily a few minutes later, explaining to them what you were doing for the day.

“Me and Harrison are taking you both out, so come on, get ready to go.” Sam rolled his eyes at your bossiness, leaving to go and get his shoes. Paddy handed Lily back over to you, quietly whispering he was going to start helping Tom set up.

“You look gorgeous, by the way.” Harry whispered once the youngest Holland was out of sight, checking no one could see before leaning down to kiss you. He quietly told you he’d missed you, and then remembered not to leave Lily out, kissing her chubby cheeks a few times too.

“Harrison should be here any minute.” You explained. He nodded his head, leaving you to slip on some shoes and a jacket. You got Lily ready in her pram, making sure her blanket covered her so she didn’t get cold while out in the winter temperatures.

Harrison arrived and in no time you were all leaving the house. For some reason you’d decided to brace the weather and walk to where you were going to eat, quickly finding out that it wasn’t a very good idea on your parts.

“So, I was thinking, we could go get something to eat,” He suggested, a smirk spreading on his face. “Maybe ditch Haz and Sam, have a romantic meal.” You laughed, rolling your eyes.

“Harry, although it’s your birthday, it’s also Sam’s, and we aren’t ditching him.” You saw him huff and roll his eyes, pouting his bottom lip like a child. The four of you walked until you found a restaurant everyone was happy eating at.

The lads obviously ordered alcohol before anything, disregarding that it was barely even the afternoon. You suppose it was their birthday so you had to let them off, although the same couldn’t be said for the blonde male sitting opposite you.

Harry watched you with heart eyes as you quietly talked to Lily and played with her hands, both of which were holding onto your fingers tightly, the little girl sitting in your lap, trying to grab at everything on the table. Harry jolted upon feeling a sudden harsh pain spreading through his leg, realising his twin had kicked him.

“What was that for, you twat?” He snapped.

“You’re practically drooling.” Harrison said, motioning between you two with his finger.

“Am not.” He mumbled, consciously wiping around his mouth just in case.

For the most part the meal went well. Lily still couldn’t eat solid foods, so unfortunately for her she had to just sit in your lap and behave, which she did perfectly, while everyone else ate. 

Your meal was cut short before you could order any kind of dessert, receiving a text from Nikki to tell you they were ready and to come home.

“Can I carry her?” Harry asked, motioning to the lively girl in your arms. Harrison had generously offered to push the pram for you so you could have a break.

“Of course.” Harry was extra careful when lifting the babe into his arms, kissing her face to hear her laugh.

“She really does love you.” You said, seeing the awe in her gaze as she stared at your boyfriend’s face, admiring his individual features. His heart melted, kissing her head.

“I’m really glad.”

The rest of the way was filled with jokes from the lads, all of which made you laugh until your stomach hurt. 

“Stop.” You whined, feeling Harrison prod your aching stomach teasingly. You still giggled though, despite Harry’s subtle glare at his best friend for touching you. Safe to say he was grumpy for the rest of the walk.

You were back at the Holland house in no time, Harrison taking the lead and heading up to the door first. After you’d all caught up, standing behind him waiting, he pushed open the door, holding his arms out in a ‘voila’ sort of way. The lights flickered on and you were met with ‘happy birthday’ decorations all around.

“Surprise!” You all yelled. Harry and Sam’s eyes widened, happy smiles growing across their faces. Harry was quick to hug you, whispering a thank you in your ear. You would’ve stayed wrapped up in his arms longer if it wasn’t for Lily letting out a loud wail.

“Oh, my baby, the noise must’ve scared her.” You shifted over to her stroller, carefully lifting her out and holding her close to your body.

Harry’s eyes were glued to you, adoring the way your motherly instincts kicked in on the spot.

“Happy birthday, mate.” Tom said, snapping him out of his daze. Harry smiled at his older brother, thanking him while never taking his eyes off you.

“Either tell her how you feel or move on man.” He said, patting his shoulder when he noticed where his gaze was. Harry nodded, flashing his brother a tight lipped smile.

Harry noticed she hadn’t stopped crying, making his way through the people saying happy birthday to him, so he could make it to you.

“She okay?” He asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“I think she’s hungry.” You said, motioning for Harry to get you the pink burping blanket out of your bag.

“I’ll be right back.” You promised.

Right after you said that, Harry was swept away by some of his friends he hadn’t seen in a while, persuading him to have a drink with them.

You came back downstairs after feeding Lily confused, not able to find the curly headed boy anywhere.

At some point, Nikki had taken the angel from you, wanting to show her to a few of her friends. You didn’t protest, wanting to give your arms a break from holding the growing girl.

Later on in the evening you found yourself in the kitchen, alone with Harry. You were just trying to get yourself a drink when his arms wrapped around you.

“Feel like I haven’t seen you in so long.” He whined, pressing a kiss to your cheek, trailing them down your jaw.

“Harry, stop.” You giggled, trying to squirm away from the kisses he was placing on your neck. You heard footsteps heading towards the kitchen, shooing Harry off of you. You’d both agreed to keep your relationship a secret for a while, just until you both knew it was going to go well.

“Get off.” You said. He pushed himself away from you, pretending to busy himself with something in the fridge.

“Just coming to get another drink.” Sam said, eyeing you both out of confusion. You smiled at him, nodding your head, continuing to pour your drink into a glass.

“You two are so weird.” He mumbled, taking his drink and leaving the room. You tried to hold back a giggle but evidently ended up bursting into laughter. Harry joined you moments later, shaking his head.

“That was close.” You scolded, gently hitting his arm. You stayed to talk for a while, enjoying getting to be in each other’s company without other people getting in the way, even if the party was partly for Harry.

He smiled when his mum waltzed into the kitchen, giving her a small side hug and thanking her for putting the party together. Your angel babbled in her arms, making grabby hands towards you that you couldn’t resist, carefully taking her from Nikki’s hold. She informed you about the little nap she took while in her arms, making you smile at your girl.

“Everyone’s looking for you.” She told Harry, motioning out to the garden where people were having fun.

“I’ll go in a minute.” He said. However she wasn’t impressed, giving him a motherly look that told him he had to do what she said.

“Y/n, can I talk to you?” Nikki asked, changing the subject. You nodded, handing Lily over to Harry. You watched him leave with her to go outside, turning back to Nikki expectantly.

She smiled at you, taking your hand and pulling you with her.

You followed her out into the garden where Harry had just left to, admiring the decorations that were still hung in the trees and bushes.

“Are you and Harry together?” Your head whipped around to look at her, a confused smile on your face. 

“Wh-what?” You asked, laughing nervously.

“Please, no one looks at a friend the way you two have been looking at each other tonight.” You blushed, trying to find any possible right answer.

“Well, it’s only been a few days.” You said. She gasped, her eyes widening and her mouth twisting into a large smile. “But please don’t tell anyone, we want to see how it goes.” She nodded, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Of course, I’m so happy for you both.” She asked you a few more questions before letting you go and find your boyfriend. 

“Go get your man.” She teased. You spotted him sitting further down the beautifully decorated garden by himself.

You didn’t go up to him straight away, deciding first to watch Tom, Paddy and Sam gush over Lily as they played with a few of her toys. You were eternally grateful that the Holland’s loved your daughter so much.

“Hey, birthday boy.” You said, approaching him sitting alone. He turned his head, smiling at you and offering you his hand. He pulled you closer to him, letting you sit on one of his legs, his arm around you and his other cradling his beer.

“Why are you all alone?” You asked. “Are you not having fun?” You questioned, scared you’d ruined his birthday with the party.

“No I am, but.” He paused, making you worry more. You leaned into his body further, beginning to push some of his untamed curls out of his face.

“Talk to me.” You whispered, searching his eyes for any kind of emotion. 

“I know it’s my birthday but it's also our first valentines day-“ He said. You mentally awed. “I know it’s soon but I just wanted to spend today with you.” You smiled at him, kissing his head. 

“That’s adorable Harry, but we can always do something tomorrow, it’s okay.” 

You didn’t notice the suspicious glances from Harry’s siblings, watching you both be touchy with each other. When he turned his head and planted a soft kiss on your lips, not realising what he’d done, the brothers freaked out.

“Wait, wait.” Tom yelled, catching your attention, pointing between you both. “Are you two finally-“ 

“Dating?” He said, watching Tom nod. “Yes.” Harry confirmed, not even letting his brother finish.

“About fucking time.” You giggled, watching them all cheer and clap for you both. You turned to Harry with a smile.

“Well, guess the secrets out.” You mumbled. He laughed, nodding his head.

“It was always going to come out.” 

The day of your wedding felt like it was creeping up on you unexpectedly, even if it was still many months away. It still felt like yesterday that Harry was proposing to you in your bedroom in front of your daughter. Part of you couldn’t believe it had already been five months.

You had come home from spending some much needed time with friends at a local pub, to find your flat dark, and from the eerie silence, what you assumed to be empty. Confusion ran through you, Harry didn’t tell you he was taking Lily anywhere so you had expected them to be there when you got back.

“Harry?” you called, hoping to gain some form of an answer from your boyfriend, or even your daughter. You heard little footsteps running down the hall, a sudden flash of brightness lighting the room and taking you off guard as she stretched to turn on the light.

“Hi Lily, where’s your dad?” you asked, bending down to brush some curly hair from her face. She just giggled, taking your hand and pulling you in the direction of your bedroom. You followed her questionably, not having any idea what your menacing daughter was up to.

Gently, she pushed open the door to your room, leaving you to find your love standing there nervously, playing with the strings on his hoodie.

“Is there a pyjama party no one told me about?” you joked, motioning to Harry’s sleep wear and then your daughter’s adorable dumbo pyjamas. Which you could recall being her favourite. 

Harry laughed, shaking his head and taking your hands in his. He placed a greeting kiss on your knuckles, ignoring the noise of disgust that Lily made.

“I actually wanted to talk about something.” Your heart dropped, your mind automatically thinking you’d done something to upset him.

“Did I do something, I’m sorry if-“ he shook his head, squeezing your hands reassuringly.

“You didn’t do anything, you’re perfect.” You tried to ignore the feeling of heat in your body at the compliment, choosing to let Harry’s comment pass and let him continue talking.

“Well, here goes nothing,” he mumbled. You watched with wide eyes as he bent down on one knee, a nervous grin on his face as he glanced at Lily. She gave him a thumbs up, one which made you giggle.

Harry delved into a heartwarming speech about the memories you’d shared together, being best friends and then more. He told you about the time when he knew he was in love, and it turns out it was years before your relationship even became a possibility. 

“I also just, I want to thank you for giving me Lily, and letting me love her like she’s my own.” Tears were streaming down your cheeks at this point, only threatening to do the same to Harry. He finally pulled out the ring box, Lily squealing excitedly from the side.

“Y/N, will you marry me?” he asked, looking at you with those same big brown eyes you’d fallen in love with a long time ago.

“Yes, yes, of course I will.” The ring was slipped onto your finger and you couldn’t help your sudden urge to kiss your new fiance. Your lips molded together with his, Lily trying to pull you both apart so she didn’t have to see that.

The rest of the night after that was spent with the three of you watching disney films in your bed, Harry’s lips basically refusing to leave your head. 

You smiled at the thought, your thumb subconsciously running over the beautiful engagement ring, while your eyes took your time to look at the dress in the mirror. Your nose scrunched up in dislike, already having decided this wasn’t the one for you.

“You okay in there Y/N?” your mum asked. You opened the door, taking her hand to help guide you into the middle of the room without falling over the trail of the dress. You noticed them try to pretend as if they liked it, complimenting random details just to make you happy. Frowning, you shook your head at them. 

“I hate it.” The two women let out relieved sighs and finally gave you their honest opinions. You were close to tears, you didn’t think you were ever going to find the perfect one at this rate, and with some more recent uncontrollable emotions you’d been having, you were all over the place about it.

You finally got to take a moment for yourself when Tom entered the shop with your angel on his hip, her happy smile widening when she saw her mum. 

She almost leaped out of her uncle’s arms, running to you and pretty much demanding that you pick her up. You giggled, cradling her against your chest as she buried her head in your neck. You asked for her opinion on the gown, knowing that the three year old would be brutally honest, which she was. 

“I hate it,” she said, pulling a face that made you crack up. Nikki announced the idea of a break, one that you felt you both needed and deserved after this mess. 

The break was taken up by small talk between the four adults among you, the little girl slowly falling asleep in your arms until she was out completely, almost drooling on your shoulder.

Sadly you had to hand her over to someone else, letting her sleep on Tom’s lap in one of the uncomfortable chairs as you took the dress off.

You ended up being at the dress shop for hours, and you still hadn’t found the right one. The women- and Tom, suggested you go home and then try somewhere else tomorrow, but you insisted on trying one last dress, just in case.

You were staring at how it looked, slightly mesmerized by the flowy, princess like gown draped across your body. Snapping you out of your daze, was a soft knock on the dressing room door, your quiet come in barely being heard through the wood.

“Hey, you seemed to be taking a while, so I came to check on you,” he said. “and I brought you something,” opening the door to the dressing room to let your little monster run in. Your heart swelled, bending down to scoop her up into your arms. You gave her some kisses on her head, letting her back down onto her feet so she could get a better look at your dress, this one she liked much more.

“Hello my gorgeous girl.” The girl’s grin was wide, looking at your dress in awe, “Did you have a good nap?” 

She nodded her head, not even really listening to what you were saying, reaching forward to gently touch the material of your dress.

“You look like a princess.” You smiled at her, bending down to her height. You lifted your hand and placed it on the back of her head, trying to tame her wild bedhead. You thanked her quietly, mumbling something about how she’d also get to look like a princess when the day came. Grinning, she told you she couldn’t wait.

“You look incredible Y/N.” 

Tom’s arms wrapped around you in a brotherly hug, showering you with a few more compliments. Glancing at the time, you knew Harry was meant to be here any minute. You’d all planned on going to a celebratory dinner after you found your dress, and up until now you weren’t sure there was any point.

“Alright, let’s show them,” you said, motioning to the door. Lily took Tom’s large hand, wanting to walk with him back to the main area.

Just as you opened it, you noticed your sneaky fiancé standing in the room. A shocked gasp escaped you and you quickly pulled it shut so he couldn’t notice your dress.

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked, trying to look around you.

“Harry’s here, he can’t see my dress,” you panicked, looking at Tom for some kind of help.

Tom rolled his eyes, shooing you away from the door. He whispered something to Lily, assuming he was using her as part of his plan.

“Are you using my daughter as a distraction?” you asked. Tom grinned nervously and ushered her out of the door, waving goodbye to you without another word. You laughed, shaking your head at the immature man.

“Daddy!” she yelled, running towards the curly haired man standing with his mum and your mum. Harry turned his head, grinning at the little girl. Harry’s heart still fluttered everytime she called him that, just like the first time it happened, right after her first birthday.

Ever since Lily had learned how to say the word no, she’d been using it as much as she could. When you told her something she didn’t like, no. When you asked her to put her toys away, no.

Even if you tried to put her to bed when she didn’t want to, all you’d receive was a stubborn no in response.

You were currently trying to get her off the couch and upstairs, where you’d simply bathe her, change her and then put her in her crib for the night. However that was not what she wanted to do. 

“Come on angel, need to get you ready for bed.” This was already your fourth attempt, but the girl just kept shaking her head and making it impossible for you to pick her up, flailing her limbs around awkwardly.

“Is everything okay in here?” You turned your head to your boyfriend and pouted, explaining the problem and then turning back to the baby expectantly. Lily gazed up at Harry with a lazy smile, you were glad that she still adored him as much as she did when she was first held by him.

You tried again, showing Harry the struggle you were having with her. Her gaze wasn’t even focused on you, but rather over your shoulder at the curly headed man smiling at her.

“No,” she whined, “Daddy.”

Your eyes widened, cheeks growing a deep red as you nervously glanced at Harry. He seemed frozen in his place, staring down at her as she made grabby hands.

She got more and more agitated when Harry didn’t make a move to pick her up, her face scrunching up in distress. “Daddy,” she tried again. A sense of stress in her tone. 

She let out a cry, causing Harry to jump into action. He carefully picked her up, cradling her to his chest. Beginning to rock her in order to calm her dad, shushing her quietly too.

“You’re okay,” he whispered, glancing up at you nervously, “Daddy’s here.” 

You let out a sigh of relief with a grin, happy that she didn’t make him uncomfortable and manage to scare him away.

“Come on, let’s let mummy have a break and i’ll put you to bed.” 

You thanked him silently, watching the two head down the hall. Your heart was still beating faster than normal, and you were unable to remove the grin from your mouth.

When Harry came back he was still utterly shocked at what he’d heard, taking a seat beside you and pulling you into his arms.

“Did that really just happen?” he asked. You nodded your head, burying your face in his chest with a happy laugh.

“Congrats dad.” Harry could feel himself tearing up, unable to wipe the grin from his face due to the utter happiness he felt.

“Hi precious.” He lifted her up onto his hip, kissing her cheek. The two mothers watched him interact with the girl with warm hearts. Even if she wasn’t biologically his, Harry was more than happy to treat her as his own. He’d loved the girl from the second he learned about your pregnancy, and nothing had changed.

“How does mummy look?” he whispered, trying to keep his volume to a minimum so his own mum wouldn’t scold him for trying to get the girl to say anything about the dress.

“She looks beautiful.” 

“Even more beautiful than normal?” he said, a tiny grin on his face. Lily nodded her head rapidly, making Harry laugh and kiss her head. 

Tom explained to his brother that he had to turn around and close his eyes while you showed everyone else the dress. He whined and protested, insisting like a child that it wasn’t fair. Nikki had obviously scolded him, telling him to stop being a baby, which had made Lily giggle.

He knew you’d stepped out when he heard gasps from the two women, he pouted, resting his head against his daughters.

“Oh wow.” Harry felt his heart sink. He wanted nothing more to turn around and gush about how gorgeous you looked along with everyone else.

To tease him even more, you shuffled over and placed a kiss to his cheek, greeting him sweetly, but making sure he could only see your face.

“I want to see you,” he frowned. You giggled quietly, kissing in between his clothed shoulder blades.

“You’ll see me on the day.” He rolled his eyes, throwing his head back to try and catch a glimpse, complaining about how far away it was.

You scoffed at him, quickly covering his eyes with your hands. “Stop peeking.” 

Harry let you keep your hands over his eyes, but turned his head and puckered his lips for you to kiss him. You rolled your eyes, granting his wish. 

“Let me just change and then we can go.” You heard Harry huff, ignoring his complaints and heading back to change into normal clothing. He got the chance to properly greet you with a hug once you were back in the clothes you’d put on that morning.

Your heart was racing as you bought the dress, hearing the two men behind you choking on their own breath at the price, neither one of the lads was aware that a wedding dress could cost anywhere near that much. It wasn’t long before you were ready to leave, slipping your hand into Harry’s while he happily carried your girl on his hip, listening to her innocent rambling.

Once you were in the restaurant and ordering, you got a few confused looks from the rest of the table when you didn’t order any alcohol, choosing to go with water instead. In their heads your mother and Nikki were also thinking about when you rejected the champagne at the dress shop when you’d arrived.

You tried to brush it off, gulping nervously and telling them you just weren’t in the mood. Harry was skeptical, he knew you better than you knew yourself and you seemed really nervous at the slight intrusion, you also hadn’t mentioned feeling off in any way to him.

He made a mental note to ask about it when you got home later, not wanting to bring it up in front of your families just in case.

When you got home that night, both you, Harry and Lily were exhausted. He offered to go and put her to bed, letting you do whatever you needed so you could get in bed.

Even after taking the time to read your angel a quick bedtime story, Harry still ended up in bed before you, ignoring your eye roll at how eager he was to sleep.

“I’m still sad I wasn’t allowed to see your dress,” he whined. You just giggled, pulling back the covers of your bed and climbing in next to him. You laid beside him, the two of you laying in a comfortable silence, just appreciating being near each other. You could tell just from the dazed expression on his face that he was picturing it.

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Your heart practically exploded in your chest, turning your head on the pillow so you could admire your fiancé.

“About that,” you winced. Harry’s eyes widened, snapping towards you out of fear. 

“Oh no, do you not-“ you cut him off instantly, shaking your head rapidly at his statement. You felt guilty for worrying him.

“It’s nothing like that, I promise.” His heart was still beating irregularly. You took a deep breath, smiling at him nervously, while blindly searching for his hand to hold.

“I think we need to push the wedding back a little,” you explained. His eyebrows furrowed, cocking his head like a confused puppy. He asked why, happily letting you take his hand in yours. You guided his hand to your stomach, trying to see if he would get the hint. It did take him a few minutes for it to sink in but he eventually gasped in surprise.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked, tears welling in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you cried, giggling to yourself as he practically tackled you in a hug. He let a few tears slip, not even bothering to wipe them away, “I wanted to tell you better than this but, here we are.”

“I had an idea, I noticed you weren’ drinking,'' you rolled your eyes. You hadn’t thought that would’ve been obvious. He shook his head, unable to tear his eyes away from you and your stomach. “I can’t believe it.” He refused to stop pressing kisses to different parts of your face, your laugh echoing around your shared room.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his, smiling softly at him, while watching all the emotions swimming in those brown eyes. “Thank you for giving me the perfect family.”

This pregnancy was even better than your first one. Harry was much more attached this time and he barely ever let his hands leave your belly when he could.

In the beginning you would slap his hands away, telling him to stop so your families wouldn’t suspect anything. He would obviously take offense, just wanting to be close to his love and his growing child. But as it got harder and harder to hide, Harry would give you those puppy dog eyes that you couldn’t say no to.

This pregnancy felt different on some level, even though you had Harry the first time around too, this felt much more personal and you weren’t sure if it was because this time around, the baby was his.

He would often be encouraging Lily to talk to the baby with him, about anything and everything they could think of.

It had become one of Harry’s favourite things to do to talk to the baby. Anytime he could he’d be lifting up your shirts to just below your bra and pressing kisses to different spots on your protruding belly, telling the growing baby a story about his day.

That’s what was currently happening here. You were all ready to go to sleep when Lily had claimed she had a nightmare, tears running down her face, crawling into your bed for some comfort. Harry’s attempt at calming her down was by distracting her with talking to your five month pregnant belly.

He lifted up his old shirt you were wearing, placing a few greeting kisses on your stomach. He got comfortable on his elbows before motioning for Lily to follow, having her lay down on your other side.

“Come on angel, that’s your sibling in there.” Harry had been trying forever to get her to just talk to the baby, but she clearly didn’t grasp the concept of where the baby even was because she couldn’t see them.

“But there’s nothing there,” she pouted, laying her head on your chest. You ran your fingers through her tangled hair, just like your other hand was doing with Harry’s hair.

Lily watched as he began to tell the baby anything that popped into his head, rubbing his thumb over the skin gently. She shuffled down the bed, placing her tiny hand on your belly, trying to mimic her dad’s actions. She started to tell them a random story about her day with her uncle Tom, something about what had happened in the film they’d watched. The whole experience was actually quite soothing to you, giving you a chance to close your eyes and try to fall asleep while your two angels did their thing.

A sudden and slight flinch and your eyes snapping open alerted your fiancé, the man looking at you concerned. 

“They kicked,” you laughed, “I think they like their sisters' voices.” Lily’s eyes widened, letting you guide her hand to where the kick had been. You told her to keep talking, not having to wait long for another energetic kick from your bub.

“See, they like you already,” Harry smiled, nudging her shoulder gently.

“Can we talk to them everyday?” 

When you first told your angel she was over the moon, she was really excited at the idea of having a sibling and it warmed your heart to see. Nothing had changed from when you told her to know, the obvious baby bump being the centre of her constant giddy moods.

It eventually got to the point where there was no way you could hide it from family members any longer, and you had to tell your families about the pregnancy and postponing the wedding.

“So, we have some news,” you announced, gaining everyone around the table's attention. You squeezed Harry’s hand, running your hands over the material of your loose dress and pulling it tight against your belly.

There was a chorus of gasps, a few tears and lots of hugs from your families, hearing congratulations upon congratulations. You couldn’t help but glance at your fiancé while in a hug with his twin. You both sent each other lovesick smiles from the embraces you’d been dragged into, your hearts warm.

It felt like the last few months were over in seconds, and you were definitely going to miss it. The back rubs from Harry, the constant helping you and even the practically never leaving your side, you were surprisingly going to miss that too.

Your water breaking was nowhere near as chaotic as the first time, things were much calmer the second time around. Harry called one of his brothers, you couldn’t be sure which one in the moment, and asked them to meet you at the hospital so they could watch Lily. He then helped you into the car, making sure to give you a break when a contraction would hit, allowing you to squeeze the life out of his hand.

It was incredibly early for Lily, so she seemed to fall asleep as soon as she was settled in her car seat, a soft smile on Harry’s face just looking at her. He was about to be a dad again.

He tried to get there as quick as he could, finding Tom waiting outside in the early morning cold. You gathered that Tom was the brother he’d called earlier, but right now you didn’t really care. He greeted you politely, taking a sleeping Lily from her car seat while Harry helped you inside.

After you were given something for the pain, you seemed more concerned with if your family members were aware of the incoming new arrival, rather than actually being in labour. Something that Harry had to remind you was much more important.

“Did you call or-“ Harry cut you off, brushing some sweaty hair out of your face.

“I sent a text to everyone, okay, stop worrying.” you nodded your head, taking deep breaths to try and ease the pain that was still lingering. Harry didn’t let up playing with your hair, placing the occasional kiss on your hairline and always whispering words of encouragement to get you through.

You didn’t realise how much relief you’d get when the doctor told you it was time, a flood of thanks flowing through you as you were finally able to get this baby out.

This one took longer than the last, your new baby turning out to be a lot more stubborn than Lily was already, but you were eventually greeted with the cries of a newborn echoing around the room.

Harry choked back tears hearing that it was a boy, ignoring your teasing comment about the Holland curse as he got a look at his baby.

The boy was passed to you first, letting you get a good look at him. At first glance, he seemed to be a perfect mix of you and Harry, but when you really took the time to study him, you noticed all the features that were his dads. That button nose of his that you completely adored, those honey brown eyes that you’d spent hours staring into on some days. 

You could feel Harry watching you both from where he resided next to your bed. Snapping a quick picture that you’d be able to look back on whenever you wanted. You ran your hand over your boy's head, kissing his forehead and then glancing up to your fiance.

“He looks like you, he’s so beautiful.”

Harry’s heart swelled, itching to get the chance to hold his new son. Before Lily came in to be introduced to her new little brother, Harry got to cradle him, noting every one of his features to memory. Especially noticing the ones that he believed belonged to you.

“He’s perfect,” he whispered. Your heart fluttered a little, watching how he was so mesmerized with the new life in his arms. He placed gentle kisses on his chubby cheeks, choking up when his tiny hand wrapped around his finger. You let him have his moment, taking this chance for yourself to relax a little bit. A single tear rolled down his cheek and he didn’t even attempt to hide it, allowing you to get an insight on how truly happy he was right now. It felt like the first time he’d held Lily in his arms over three years ago. He remembered the moment where he stayed mesmerised with her for eyes, analysing every little mark on her face that resembled you. That was the day Harry properly fell in love with the tiny angel, and it was happening all over again right now.

You hated to interrupt his moment but you also wanted to let the tired, and probably very bored, girl in the waiting room have the chance to meet her brother. 

“Can you go get Lily, please?” you asked. He nodded slowly, hesitantly handing you the little angel wrapped in blue back. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead, partly thanking you for giving him his angel, well both of his angels, and also silently telling you how proud and amazed he was at what you’d just done.

You talked to your son quietly while Harry was gone, even if it was only for a few minutes and even if he didn’t understand what you were saying. Reaching his little hand up to grab you as if he recognised your voice from all the conversations you’d had with him while you were pregnant.

“There’s someone we want you to meet,” he whispered, guiding her sleepy frame into the hospital room. She seemed hesitant, her lack of sleep leaving her confused. She couldn’t see anyone else in the room but you and her dad.

“Lily, c’mere,” you cooed. Harry lifted her onto the hospital bed beside you, giving her the perfect view of the baby boy. “This is your little brother.”

Harry watched you introduce your new babe to Lily, the girl watching her new baby sibling in awe. She seemed to lose all traces of sleep the second she saw him, becoming completely obsessed with the tiny human in front of her.

It’d definitely taken you both time to get here, to become a family, arguably too long for that matter, but Harry felt like this was right, he felt complete, and he was sure that he now always would.

always taglist - @hopelessly-harry @iwearheadphones @thevelvetseries @minejungwoo @siriuslyslyslytherin @givebuckyhisplumsnow @itstaskeen @icyhollands @starkweasley @hollandcrush @zspideyy @hopeless-romantic-baby

[emospritelet]

Heatstroke - chapter 8

*snickers*

[AO3]

x

“Here.” Sidney Glass dropped a file on her desk, making Lacey look up. “Next assignment.”

She sat back slowly, picking up the file and raising an eyebrow.

“So what is it this time?” she asked. “Flower-arranging at the local church? First prize in the pumpkin-growing contest?”

“Pumpkins aren’t in season yet.”

“Then the story will only be slightly more boring than it otherwise would be.”

Sidney sighed.

“I have no idea why you even moved here if you find it so dull,” he said. “Wouldn’t you have more fun in the city?”

She gave him an amused look.

“Would you believe me if I said I actually wanted a quiet life?”

“Not really.”

“It’s true,” she insisted. “Or at least it’s mostly true. I grew up in a small town. Being back in one is kind of - it’s like I’m a teenager again, so I’m rebelling against it even though I know it’s a good place to live, you know?”

“Good,” said Sidney. “In that case you won’t mind writing a piece on Zelena West’s charity work.”

“Charity work,” Lacey snorted. “She’s a mean-spirited witch.”

“True enough, but she still organises the food drive every year.”

“Probably because it’s the only way she can hold any power over people,” said Lacey. “I bet she takes the best stuff for herself.”

“Get some proof of that and the piece might get interesting,” said Sidney. “In the meantime just stick to the brief.” 

“Five times Zelena West didn’t get bitch-slapped for talking shit about people and one time she did?” suggested Lacey.

Sidney chuckled as he sat back down at his desk, sending her an amused look.

“I’d read that,” he said. “But she’s going beyond the food drive this year. A charity dance. All profits to the church outreach program.”

“Wow.” Lacey pursed her lips. “She trying to bang the priest?”

“I doubt it,” said Sidney, shuddering. “She’s been trying to get her claws into Mr Gold.”

“Really?” Lacey sat up, an odd sensation going through her. It almost felt like outrage, which she couldn’t understand. “She had any success?”

“What do you think?” he said dryly, and she nodded, settling back in the chair.

“Okay, I’ll interview her,” she said. “If she’ll talk to me.”

“Good.”

There was a moment of silence. Sidney tapped at something on his keyboard, glancing at the screen in front of him. Lacey pondered the unwelcome image of Zelena West throwing herself at Gold, and shuddered just as Sidney had. Not that Zelena was unattractive. Just unstable. Lacey got the feeling she didn’t easily take a hint, and she was almost intrigued to know what Gold’s response to her would be.

It had been several days since she had come across Gold naked at the cabin. Clearly the guy was comfortable letting everything hang out. Maybe that was how he relaxed. She supposed she could understand that. It wasn’t as though it had been an unpleasant sight, anyway, just - unexpected. She still hadn’t summoned the courage to go and apologise to him, and told herself they had both been busy.

“So,” said Lacey, putting her feet up on the desk and her arms behind her head. “Mr Gold. What’s his deal?”

Sidney looked surprised at the question.

“Well, he’s landlord for most of Storybrooke,” he said. “Owns a pawnshop, richest guy in town…”

“No.” She shook her head. “I mean, what’s his history? He married? Single?”

Sidney’s surprise turned into alarm.

“Please don’t tell me you’re planning on hitting on him.”

“What? No!” Lacey was surprised at her own vehemence. “No, it’s not like that. I’m just - interested, that’s all. He seems like kind of a loner.”

“Well, he keeps to himself, that’s for sure,” said Sidney. 

“That has to get to you, after a while,” observed Lacey, tapping a pen against her lower lip. “Alone every night, only your own thoughts for company… You think he’s into anything weird?”

“Oh, I can’t begin to tell you how much I do not want to think about that,” muttered Sidney, and Lacey smirked.

“That’s not a no.”

Sidney sighed, slapping a file down on her desk.

“I don’t know a thing about Gold’s private life,” he said. “No one does. He keeps it - well, private.”

“So he could spend every Friday night dressed in leather and riding a huge butt plug and no one in town would know?”

“Oh my…” Sidney ran his hands over his face. “I’m gonna need bleach to get rid of that mental image.”

“You’re welcome.”

Lacey snickered, and Sidney shook his head.

“Look, aside from being a hardass with people who don’t pay their rent, he’s quiet and reserved and spends every hour holed up in the pawn shop,” he said. “He’s a generous donor to Storybrooke General Hospital, particularly the children’s ward. He takes a walk every morning and gets coffee at Granny’s. About as straight-laced as you can get.”

“It’s always the quiet ones.”

Sidney sighed, shaking his head.

“Okay, you want to cover something more interesting than the church fundraiser, and I want to pretend this conversation never happened,” he said. “How about we make a deal?”

Lacey perked up.

“Really?” she said. “What deal?”

“Simple,” said Sidney. “Get Gold to give you an interview.”

Lacey felt her face fall.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“You get him to agree to sit down and talk to you for half an hour, you’ll do something no one else at the Mirror ever has,” said Sidney. “Make it something personal and I’ll even give you a raise.”

“But he hates me,” she complained.

“Why would he hate you?”

Lacey shrank down in the chair a little.

“We kind of - got off on the wrong foot,” she muttered, and he shrugged.

“Guess you can’t want that raise too much.”

“Okay, not so fast,” she said, sitting up again. “I’m not saying I won’t do it, I’m just saying - well, it’s not gonna be easy, that’s all.”

“Nothing worthwhile ever is,” said Sidney. “So I’m told.”

x

Gold made his way up the path, wincing at every step. His leg had been giving him hell all day, and he suspected that it meant rain was coming. It was a night for taking a couple of painkillers, drinking whisky and losing himself in a good book while he waited for them to take effect.

He mounted the steps, pausing when he saw a cardboard box in front of the door. Probably his delivery of special ingredients from August’s in Boston. He found that Storybrooke could satisfy most of his culinary needs, by and large, but there were things he couldn’t get in town, like dried porcini, smoked paprika and loose-leaf Earl Grey tea. Smiling at the thought of the things he could make with the box contents, he opened the front door, scooped up the box and went inside.

It had been a long day, and he went straight to the kitchen, dropping the box onto the table and pouring himself a glass of wine before shrugging out of his coat. Taking a sip, he pulled a knife from the wooden block and sliced open the tape sealing the box. The contents made him frown; he was used to gleaming jars of ingredients nestled in packing noodles. This box was padded with scrunched up brown paper, wedged around boxes containing - oh.

Gold withdrew one of the boxes, a full ten inches, the cardboard thick and gleaming, silky to the touch. On the box was a picture of an anatomically-improbable plastic penis, the text on the box boasting ‘realistic feel and ten-speed vibration’. He dropped it back, picking up a smaller, square box with a bright pink wand made of curved silicone. Intense clitoral stimulation for rapid climax, announced the box. Perfect for solo play.

Gold pushed the box back in amongst the brown paper, flipping the lid closed again and eyeing the label that he hadn’t bothered to check. Miss L French. Of course.

He could feel his cheeks heating, and a vision of Lacey using the products on herself burst into full colour in his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying and failing to dispel it and cursing the telltale twitch of his cock. The image changed, and to his dismay he realised he was imagining himself using the toys on a very naked Lacey, her body undulating against his as she moaned in pleasure. His cock began to swell, and Gold shook his head, remembering the look on her face when she had seen him naked, the disparaging words she had used to describe the encounter to Miss Lucas. The images disappeared at once, and he sagged in relief. Sighing to himself, he was about to seek out some tape to seal the box again when he paused, fingers drumming against the sides. Fuck it. I’m taking it over there now. If she’s the one embarrassed by our encounter it’ll make a bloody change.

x

Lacey peered inside the fridge, chewing her lip and trying to decide which of the unappetising contents to have for dinner. She really needed to go grocery shopping, but kept forgetting that Storybrooke’s stores didn’t stay open late. One drawback of being in a small town. 

She closed the fridge door and opened the freezer section. God, not frozen pizza again! Jesus, Lacey, get your life together. The cat eats better than you.

As though he had heard her thoughts, Darcy appeared at her feet, mewing, and she sighed, pulling out a pizza box and dropping it on the counter.

“I have to learn to cook something more than omelettes,” she told him.

Darcy stood on his back legs, paws against the fridge, and Lacey grinned.

“Okay, let’s feed you first, or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

She gave him a pouch of food, and although he sniffed at it cautiously, he settled down to eat. She wasn’t sure where his recent lack of appetite had come from, but he was in good condition, so if he wasn’t eating what she put down, he was clearly eating somewhere else. A knock at the door made her glance around, and she headed for the hallway, pausing as she recognised the silhouette of her neighbour, cane held a little out to the side. Lacey took a deep breath, fists opening and closing, and nodded to herself. Well, he’s here. You may as well apologise. Suck it up, girl.

She strode towards the door before she could think about it too much, wrenching it open and nodding at Mr Gold. He was carrying a cardboard box in one arm, his gaze steady.

“Hey,” she said abruptly, and Gold showed his teeth.

“Miss French," he said. "I apologise for disturbing your evening.” 

The words weren’t said in the stiff, terse way she was used to. Instead they seemed to flow, dark and soft, like black silk. Idly, she wondered if he wore underwear that matched his silk shirts.

“Yeah, you interrupted a heavy evening of heating up frozen pizza and drinking wine,” she said. “What can I do for you?”

He glanced down at the box, then back up. There was a gleam in his eyes she hadn’t seen before, and she wasn’t sure if it was amusement. The corner of his mouth pulled up in a smirk.

“I appear to have something of yours,” he said. “I was expecting a delivery, and so I opened it without checking the address label. My apologies.”

Lacey shrugged.

“Sure. No problem. Happens to all of us, I guess…”

Her voice trailed off, a heavy weight sinking into the pit of her stomach as she recalled what she had been expecting to arrive that week. A shipment of sex toys for a freelance review piece she was doing. A blush rose in her cheeks, and Gold’s smile grew.

“I’ll leave these with you, then,” he said, handing her the box. “Do enjoy your evening, won’t you?”

He bowed his head, heading down the porch steps and swaggering back to the house. She was desperately trying to think of something clever to say, but her brain had gone blank.

"Well, I will now!" she shouted, and he glanced over his shoulder, grinning widely. The bastard.

Lacey slammed the front door, leaned back against the wall with the box in her hands, and waited for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

She still hadn’t apologised.

[visionsofus]

Hi! I’ve been reading some of your Wanda & Vision mixtape series and after the season final, I HIGHLY recommend giving “Our Corner of the Universe” by K. S. Rhoads a listen! I think your series is such a great idea and it’s so well written; warm without being cheesy.

You seriously are trying to break my heart with this song - I'd never thought about listening to it in the context of Wanda and Vision but boy once I did my heart was in pieces. Anyway! I hope you like where I went with this. 

| read on AO3 here | mixtape playlist | send me an ask with your song/prompt request |  

track #8 of Wanda and Vision’s Mixtape ~ Our corner of the universe 

Synopsis: In which Wanda and Vision are coming to the end of a few weeks together in Paris pre-IW and Wanda dreams a life for them where they no longer have to run and hide. Unknowingly, she draws Vision into her dream and they both must contend with the idea that this reality isn't something that will be easy for them.

Paris had grown colder in the last few days, as though the city knew the time was coming when Vision would have to leave.  The sun had disappeared early that morning behind a cover of clouds that had seen the day through until sunset, leaving a soft rain to patter against the glass French doors. They were huddled in bed now, Vision tracing soft patterns about Wanda’s back as he watched the rain drizzle down the glass.

“Tomorrow is too soon,” she whispered, her head shifting slightly from where it was resting atop his chest.

“I know,” he murmured into her hair, kissing the top of her head affectionately.  

“One day we won’t run like this,” Wanda said looking up into his eyes and Vision tried to smile. Normally he was more hopeful, but it was now coming to the end of their second year of meeting up like this and it was difficult to see a future where they could be else. Of a time when they might have a life together that was more than stolen moments in distant cities.

“One day we’ll be able to live together in one place, we’ll have neighbours and friends, we won’t have to hide.”

“I hope so, my love,” Vision said opening his arms wider as Wanda got under the dark bed covers for the evening. Once she was settled, he slid off the bed and went about turning the lights out and checking the doors were locked. It was routine for them now. Once Vision was sure that everything was safely locked up, he joined Wanda, pulling a blanket from the foot of the bed atop the covers for added warmth.

Wanda shuffled closer to him as he lay down beside her and he opened his arms for her to rest atop his chest once more. They were often inseparable like this on the last night, needing the physical connection of each other to remind themselves to be present in the moment and not spend their precious hours dreading the coming morning.

Vision ran his fingers through Wanda’s hair in calming motions as her breath slowed. Eventually he stilled and started to drift off himself, into the version of sleep that his synthezoid body demanded.  

Neither of them was conscious when Wanda’s hand twitched atop Vision’s chest, red mist forming before dissipating in the air between them.

Vision didn’t dream. It wasn’t that he couldn’t, if he really wanted to his synthetic brain could replicate something close to the dreamlike state that humans experienced. But he generally preferred the endless quiet that came with his brain’s resting state. The chance for stillness, even for a few hours, was a relief. Perhaps there was an element of self-preservation to it, the fear that Wanda would be caught and that he would have to watch her be imprisoned once more haunted his waking hours enough, he would rather not be consumed by the same thoughts at night.

So it came as something of a surprise when Vision found himself opening his eyes to warm sunlight, despite his brain reminding him that he was indeed, still resting. It disconcerting trying to reconcile his physical form, which remained in the Parisian apartment in bed beside Wanda, and his mental form currently cast in sunlight somewhere, somewhen, else.

Judging from the light streaming through the four paned windows opposite his face, it was early morning, where though, he couldn’t tell. Slowly, Vision rolled over and came face to face with the peaceful, sleeping face of his partner. She sighed softly and shifted closer to him.

“Go back to sleep, it’s too early,” she whispered to him.

“It’s night-time,” Vision said in confusion.

Wanda’s eyes opened and she scrunched her nose up at him. “Just a few more minutes.”

This put him at ease, it was exactly what his Wanda said most mornings. “Of course, a few more minutes,” he said, and Wanda sighed happily, moving closer to rest her head upon his shoulder like a pillow.

“We should stay like this forever.”

Vision smiled and his eyes drifted closed against the sun, wishing that every morning might be like this.

He started when he suddenly found himself standing in an unfamiliar living room. It was a cosy space, mostly occupied by a large red couch and a collection of armchairs assembled around a flat screen television. He spun on the spot looking around for Wanda.

“Vis? Is that you?” Came Wanda’s disembodied voice and Vision followed it through the next room into a quaint kitchen complete with cluttered island and wooden dining table.

“Darling?” Vision said hesitantly, closing the kitchen door behind him. “What’s going on?”

“I just wanted to make sure that your evening is free for next Friday, we’ve been invited to dinner,” Wanda said running her fingers atop a calendar and marking a square with a black marker.

She was dreaming, that much he was now sure of. This strange transition to what appeared to be a few hours later was the most obvious indicator. Not to mention the haze like state of their surroundings, as though the interior designer had given up halfway through the décor process. Kitchen tiles faded off into exposed wall, there were two clocks hanging above the sink ticking in opposite directions, and though there were cookbooks sitting on the kitchen island, when Vision tried to make sense of their titles, he found he couldn’t read any of them.

He’d talked with Wanda about what kind of house that she would like one day, but that had been a while ago and he’d been hesitant to add himself to that image. Now here he was in her dreamscape, in a made-up house that they appeared to live in, together.

“So that is a yes for you next Friday?” Wanda said absentmindedly as she began to move around the kitchen assembling a breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon.

“Yes,” Vision said, deciding it was best to play along, distantly recalling that it wasn’t a good idea to wake sleepwalkers. He didn’t want to give Wanda a fright or force her into a lucid dream state. Instead he watched in wonder as she continued to navigate the space with ease, her hands finding the cupboard with the saucepans and the cutlery drawer without hesitation, it was fascinating to watch. He wasn’t entirely sure how Wanda had drawn him into her dream, but for now he was content to observe.

“I was thinking of making Paprikash to take, what do you think?” Wanda asked as she brought her meal to the table and gestured for him to join her.

“I think—” Vision began, watching her smile up at him as he hovered about the table. “I think that is a wonderful idea.”

“I’m glad you think so,” she said grinning and taking a napkin from a pile on the table, “perhaps I can teach you how to make it properly?”

“I’d love that,” he replied, thinking tenderly of his pathetic first attempt at the dish all those years earlier. Back when he’d been a lovestruck being, not entirely capable of processing the wave of feelings he got every time she was near. He supposed not much had changed, if anything the feelings had grown more intense.

Before Vision had time to further dissect the space about them, the scene changed yet again and he found himself standing in a park whose grass was slightly too green, the colours of the playground a little too bright. The colours lost their saturation around the corners of his view, as though the paintbrush had run out of paint for the edges.

Vision instead turned his attention to the woman walking beside him, her arm tucked into the nook of his elbow as they strolled through the park. He was distinctly aware of Wanda chattering away about their imaginary schedule for the weekend, suggesting a movie the following day at the outdoor cinema with their neighbours and reminding him of the community meeting the following Wednesday.

He smiled softly and listened to her creating this life for them, wishing it into existence. He was content to just hear her speak, to gain this glimpse into a future they clearly both wanted, even if it was just a dream for the time being. It reignited his desire to fight for a shared life with Wanda. The running and hiding had been wearing them both down recently, but it humbled his despair to know that Wanda still longed for this version of life. It made him want to do as much as he could to get them something close to this life.

Vision turned his face to the sun as they walked, relishing in its warmth as glimpses of light made it through the greenery above them. Her hand was a constant on his arm, her voice in his head telling him of all they both wished for, birds providing a background chorus.

His eyes opened once more, smiling as he turned his head to look at Wanda. It took a moment to realise this wasn’t part of the dream, that he had returned to their current reality once more.

It was still dark outside and for a brief moment his heart held onto the hope that time had paused while they dreamt, that it was still evening, but a glance to the digital clock on their bedside table told Vision it was nearing 7am. He was due to get the train at 10am.

Wanda was still curled against his side, her breathing slow and steady, one hand had reached across the covers as they slept, reaching for him. He took it rubbing her cold fingers to warm them up. As he did so, she stirred beside him.

“Wanda,” he murmured to the morning air, brushing her hair off her cheek with gentle touches.

“No,” she whispered back, scrunching her eyes closed causing little tears to leak from the corners. “I didn’t want to wake up.”

“I know,” he said.

“I wanted to stay there.”

“One day.”

Wanda opened her eyes at this and looked up at him, her questions clear. He smiled tightly at her but was sure it came across as something closer to a grimace. Understanding reached her eyes and he nodded sadly, confirming that he’d seen it all too.

“One day,” he repeated, like a promise and she slid her arms around his waist in answer, pulling herself closer to his warmth.

They held each other for as long as they could afford before knowing that they had no other choice than to get ready for their respective departures. With their bags packed, Vision set about making a quick breakfast for Wanda, the same scrambled eggs and bacon she’d made in her dream world. She stayed pressed to his back, her arms wrapped around his waist, as though afraid he’d disappear like her dreams.

At the station they waited at the platform as the train pulled in. Vision hated this part the most, hated that he had to be the one to turn his back first, but Wanda never told him where she was going next, it was to protect them both.

“We will find a way to that home,” he whispered at her ear as they hugged one last time.

“You really think we could have that?” she asked, voicing the question they both seemed too scared to ask all morning.

“I promise to you,” he said holding her hands tightly between them, “that I will do everything in my power to make that life for us.”

She smiled and leant forward to kiss him one more time.

“Travel safe,”

“And you,”

And Vision was leaving again, not knowing when they’d next be able to meet up, or for how long. At least some of his hopelessness had turned to hope in the last few hours, reignited by the knowledge that she longed for the same life he did. Doubt was always following him, and he’d started to wonder if he’d been overstepping where they were at in their relationship, but he could no longer ignore how right it had felt. They’d find a way to that corner of the universe, one day.

[minsugapie]

Mary’s Song: part 20a (2099 words) - I’ll shoot

• • • • • •

Jeon Jungkook wasn’t just your anime-loving, manga-drawing, hair-pulling, ex-neighbour. You hadn’t even spoken to him since he had moved away. But the world worked in funny ways because...

He was probably the reason you were still alive. 

• • • • • •

“And our daddies used to joke about the two of us

Growing up and fallin' in love

And our mamas smiled, and rolled their eyes

And said, "Oh, my, my, my””

• • • • • •

previous // current \\ next

masterlist

• • • • • •

Tags : 

@minhyuksfatgf​ @igotarmyofarohas​ @dixonsbugaboo​ @thealexalcala​ @salty-for-suga​ @worshiphoseok​ @okaysoplshelpme​ @jeonlovers​ @acupfullofsuga​ @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @hannahdinse8​ @jaiuneamesolitaiire​ @dammit-jjk​ @dreamcatcherjiah​ @xxxanimangxxx​ @wrmnssoul​ @ephyra1230​ @imynnow​ @prdshobi​ 

• • • • • •

i’m not sure when part 2 - unchained will start because i have a bunch of homework this week but i’ll try my best to get something out... 

ALSO PLZ READ - WARNING - bc there is some violence in this. i did try to keep out as much graphic details that i could but it’s essentially what comes of some domestic abuse...so yeah, beware please!!

• • • • • •

Your dream last night made you realize that life might be too good to be true. You relived your day yesterday with Jungkook, convincing yourself that it could be like that every day. Jungkook was amazing, and you only wanted to let yourself trust him fully. It was hard. You knew that he only wanted to help, but you were still skeptical because of Nic. 

Bun was worth it, you convinced yourself. 

However in real life, you also convinced yourself that what you were going to do today would not be scary because you were protecting all the people that you’d grown to love. You didn’t regret running away from Nic, not in the slightest, but you did regret dragging all these amazing people into it. You should have just gone to your father in the first place. 

When you opened your eyes to the sunlight streaming in through the window, you had tears in your eyes. You weren’t sure if they were happy tears or sad tears. Over the past week that Jungkook had officially been sleeping with you, you never got tired or seeing his face when you woke up. His face was peaceful as he slept. You especially liked the way his hair was wild like he’d been through a tornado. 

Taking the opportunity, because it might have been your last, you brought your hand up to his face, palm lightly resting on his cheek. Your thumb lightly traced over his bottom lip as you touched his little mole. A small smile graced your lips when you saw his eyelids start to flutter, his hand coming over yours. You always thought that his eyes were always the most beautiful when the sun’s rays hit them. The scar on his cheek became prominent and you realized that he’d never told you how he got it, and that you had never asked. He blinked slowly, eyes still focusing, before he squinted, trying to get away from the bright rays.

He was finally able to open his eyes when he brought the hand that was on yours to cover the light. It only took him a second to realize the you were crying, if that’s what you wanted to call it. 

He frowned, but you shook your head before he could say anything more. You hadn’t even meant for it to happen, but before you knew it, your lips were on his.  You lingered for a few seconds, not knowing if you wanted to continue or pull away. 

In the end, you decided to pull away, looking at his face for any kind of reaction. You weren’t sure why you had kissed him��did you like him or was it simply because there was a chance you’d never see him again after today?

“What was that for?” He asked, hand falling to your cheek. 

You swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. However, it was his turn to stop you from answering. “You know what, it doesn’t matter…jus—just a little but more,” he whispered, kissing you again. He was so warm, and you felt yourself melt into him to be closer to it. You remembered your old feelings for him, and wondered how you would have felt if you were fifteen again. This wasn’t the first time you and Jungkook had kissed, but you knew that he didn’t remember it. 

He was drunk and kissed you the night before he left for the city. You remembered it clearly because you’d wanted it to happen for years, and you were mad about it for a long time. But you hadn’t thought about it for years, until right now. 

You let Jungkook’s arms wrap around you and bring you closer to him. Maybe both of you had gotten better at kissing over the years, but you definitely enjoyed this kiss more. He pushed you back into the pillows, a knee slipping between your legs. 

When he kissed you, he was being gentle and playfully sucked your lips. Really, you couldn’t think of a better way to start the day, having long forgotten your tears.

But then there was a knock on the door, followed by Taehyung’s voice, “Jungkook, don’t forget your haircut in an hour…” It was a bummer, as it interrupted the moment, but it brought you back to reality. 

Jungkook pulled back from you, turning his head to the side to yell back at Taehyung, “Ok, thanks…”

“Is Y/N awake?” Tae continued, clearly not wanting to leave them alone.

You cleared your throat and answered, “I am now.”

“Ok, babe, you’ll be okay on your own later? Chim and I are going to the studio because he’s convinced me to make a YouTube video with him!”

“Yep, I’ll be fine,” you easily lied, knowing full well that you weren’t going to be leaving after the three of them left. 

“Perfect, you two! Coffee is in the pot!” The sound of Taehyung’s feet retreating made Jungkook look at you again.

He had a funny look on his face as he looked down at you and smiled. “We’ll talk later. I should get ready,” he whispered, hands still tight around your waist. 

You nodded and looked at him, waiting for him to get off of you. He took a deep breath and finally pushed himself off, immediately walking to the door and leaving the room. Turning your head into the pillow beside you, you screamed. 

What just happened?

• • • • • •

Jungkook got back to the apartment, ready to talk about what happened this morning, but when he unlocked the door, he felt like something was off. Yeontan was gone because Jimin and Tae took him, but your shoes were gone from the door. 

Looking at the closet, he also saw that your jacket was gone. Jungkook walked to his room to see if you was there, but you weren’t there either. 

Taking out his phone, he decided to call you. Maybe after yesterday, you’d decided that you could get out and go for a walk? He heard the ringing of your phone from the kitchen, so he went out again to check. And there it was, your phone on the kitchen table. 

It was then that it clicked that all your things were gone from the bedroom. Running back, he checked the dresser that he had given you, and he was right—everything was gone.

He knew he needed to stay calm, so he sat on the bed and decided to text the group. His hands were shaking as he tried to coherently form his message.

does anyone know where honey is? all her things are gone. 

Jungkook wasn’t prepared for Jin to be the one to answer. He told Jungkook that she sent him, Cherry and Jade an address and said that if she was ever missing, that she would be there. 

tell me the address. and call the police because i’m going there right now.

Yoongi told him not to be hasty and that he couldn’t go alone, but Jungkook wasn’t going to listen. He had a gut feeling that you had gone back to Nic. It had to be why you were crying this morning—he remembered how distracted he’d gotten by you. 

God, after this morning, he thought everything was going to be so different. He hadn’t realized how much he liked you until you came back into his life. Everything from your childhood together came back to him when you first called.

He absolutely had never allowed himself to fall in love with anyone because he was still hung up, and probably, waiting for you to come back at claim what was yours. 

But now, as he ran down the street, trying to find a cab, he couldn’t believe that you’d left him to go back to Nic. 

• • • • • •

The address turned out to be at a plain apartment building. He checked out the number again to make sure he was at the right place before dashing up the stairs to the correct room. Instead of knocking, because that would be stupid, he decided to check to see if the door was unlocked.

It was. 

So, as quietly as possible he slipped inside, taking caution to tiptoe and keep his eyes and ears peeled. He heard a voice coming from a room down the hall, and he paused, trying to hear what was being said. 

“You were late coming here today, Y/N. I would have let it slide, but I know what you got up to yesterday,” the voice was menacing, dripping with a sort of controlling possession. 

A reply simply came in quiet, moan-like sounds from the person he was talking to. 

“But!” The man’s voice continued, sounding slightly more optimistic, “after tonight, I’ll forget about everything, and we can go back to being the Nic and Y/N that everyone know and love. We were always so good together…”

Jungkook couldn’t stand it anymore. He stepped into the room to see what was going on. The only thing that he was able to focus on was you on the bed, there was a gash on your head and you were looking at Nic with extremely hooded eyes. Basically, you looked drugged and beaten up. 

And he was not okay it. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jungkook finally spoke, making Nic turn around. You barely moved. 

When Jungkook finally got a good look at Nic, he was surprised to see him smile. “Ah, you look exactly like the guy from the internet.”

“You have no idea who I am, do you?” Jungkook challenged, fists clenching with every word. Just  seeing Nic’s face was making him mad. Of course, he was trying to buy some time for the policemen to get there, but he felt himself slowly getting more mad by the second. Your figure was still on his mind. You were helpless right now, and it was all because he had gone to get a haircut. 

“It doesn’t really matter, now does it? My girlfriend is back with me, and sh—”

Jungkook couldn’t handle it any longer. He didn’t even realize it, but his first made contact with Nic’s face before the sick bastard could even finish his sentence. But Jungkook wasn’t stupid; he knew that Nic could take a punch. Hell, he was trained for it.

However, what Jungkook didn’t expect was for Nic to pull out a gun when Jungkook tried to hit him a second time. 

The gun was surprisingly pointed at you instead of Jungkook. His breath hitched when Nic spoke again, “You touch me again, and I’ll shoot.”

When Jungkook simply stood there, figuring out how he could grab the gun, he realized he should have paid more attention to anything that could have showed him how to protect himself and others. 

Nic continued talking, “But I think you really do need to tell me, how was it that you were able to draw a character that looked exactly like Y/N?”

If he would have just let Jungkook speak earlier, it would have been fine. 

But neither of the two were able to say any more because the policemen finally showed up. They each pointed their own guns at Nic, and he faltered a little. It was enough for Jungkook to leap forward and grab the barrel of the gun. No after what happened, Nic wouldn’t be able to shoot then. 

What happened next with Nic was a blur to Jungkook because he just went to you. You were completely unconscious at this point, and now that he was closer to you, he saw more of what Nic did. The gash on your forehead bled down into your eye and down your temple. There was a cut on your lip, maybe from getting hit. Bruises were present on your neck and arms (and probably other places he wouldn’t be able to see). Lastly, your clothes—he didn’t even want to think about why there were some rips. 

He collapsed onto the bed beside you and tried his hardest to hold his tears back. “Honey, please wake up,” he sobbed, tears filling his eyes. He literally didn’t want to touch. You already seemed so vulnerable in this situation, and he wouldn’t do anything to injure you even more. 

The only thing he wanted to do when he saw the EMT come in and take you was to call Yoongi and cry to him, but just didn’t have the time because he had to tell his whole side of the story. And there was no way he wasn’t staying by your side as they took you to the hospital. 

[district2001]

The Ring that bounds us together

PAIRING: SVT (Mainly Wonwoo) x 14th Member (female)

GENRE: Domestic SVT?

WORDS: 1.5k

Summary: Wonwoo lost his SVT ring and Y/N decides to be a useful maknae, for once

A/N: Took me a while but I’m back. Thought lockdon was the best time to start writing again. But this time about SVT, cos i have become a massive carat since i left. Please also lemme know if u hv any requests. Xx

Ok. So one thing Y/N hated was a mess. Sure she could handle a spill here and there, some clothes on the designated chair, and even could tolerate 2 day old food still on the kitchen bench. But what she couldn’t stand was not seeing the floor of her living room.

The culprit. The one and only Jeon Wonwoo. The only person who chooses to sleep in the living room so that their dorm could have a gaming café set up in his room. Questionable? Very. But Coups and him made it work, so no one ever complained about having a bed in the middle of their shared living space.

Until today, where Y/N had come from her daily coffee run to find Wonwoo, shirtless with a towel around his waist, flinging clothes out of his cupboard, throwing his somewhat folded clothes into a sea of mess.

“Wonwoo-Oppa?”

“What?” Wonwoo didn’t even bother giving Y/N any eye contact as he continued emptying his closet like his life depended on it.

“What are you doing?”

Wonwoo didn’t even bother replying this time, instead moving over to the neighbouring cupboard to ransack it instead.

Grabbing the hair tie from her left arm, Y/N quickly placed her hair in a high pony-tail. “Mingyu Oppa won’t be very happy to come back and see this mess. Remember last time with Seokmin Oppa didn’t pack up the pillows after making that fort?”

Nothing. No Response.

Y/N shook her head, something was indeed troubling her friend. So much so, that he wasn’t giving the maknae the time of day.

If Wonwoo wasn’t going to reply to her and show her respect, she would do the same thing back. Passively of course. She wasn’t evil.

“Wonwoo-ya, do you want some help, doing whatever you’re doing?” Y/N would be OFFENDED if she didn’t get a response, but she knew better than to constantly try to get attention when it clearly wouldn’t be given. Although she was very curious to figure out the cause of this weird cleaning phase.

Luckily for her, not showing respect to her elders always guaranteed in her being called out for it. And today was no different.

“Firstly, it’s Oppa. I’m older than you. Here in SK we show respect to our elders. So add that suffix to my name.”

Y/N dramatically rolled her eyes, something which was clearly Jeonghan’s influence. Nevertheless, she sighed, signalling with her hands for Wonwoo to answer her question.

“I went to have a shower, then realised I didn’t have my ring on,” looking at Y/N from the corner of his eyes, through his glasses.

Y/N clearly didn’t see the issue. “Just tell our designers you lost the ring. Problem solved.”

Clicking her heels together, she started walking towards her room. Shouting “Clean up the mess before Mingyu sees. He’ll be more mad then our team.”

She chuckled before adding, “and he’s cooking us dinner so don’t make him mad. I’m looking forward to taco Tuesday.”

“I lost our team ring.” Wonwoo aggressively whispered.

Y/N stopped right before entering her room.

Lost the SVT ring. The one just given a couple months ago. Had she expected this from the members, not really. Had she expected it from Wonwoo, definitely not. Mingyu and Jun, possibly. Maybe. She still didn’t know how they had managed to keep there’s this entire time.

Y/n quickly walked back towards the mountain of clothes, just narrowly avoiding stepping on a leather jacket with metal spikes.

“What do you mean you lost it?”

“I don’t know. I went to go shower, and I realised it wasn’t there.”

“When’s the last time you realised it was on your finger? Did you hear a clanging sound anytime during the day? Did you post a picture today? Could it have been on your finger when you did?”

Y/N started bombarding Wonwoo with questions, something she had learned from watching far too many episodes of Criminal Minds.

Although the case this time didn’t have to do with a murder, but instead a very valuable ring.

“Umm no idea. Am I meant to? Uhhh… what was the last one?”

Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Have you asked the others?,” Y/N asked, despite knowing the answer.

“NO!” No member would admit to losing the ring, or years of jokes would be brought upon them.

She was sure that Wonwoo wouldn’t have told her, if he wasn’t in such a frazzled state.

Plus, she too had misplaced her ring for a day, opting to wear gloves so that none of her band-mates would catch her. Luckily, she found it between her bedsheets.

“Ok. Ok. Hmmmm. I’ll recheck the lounge, you go to the bathroom or wherever you’ve been in this apartment.”

Wonwoo trudged off, silently obeying the younger one.

The duo spent a good 2 hrs ransacking their dorm, trying to find the missing ring.

“Bro this is harder than finding a needle in a haystack… bro we should make a new saying,” Y/N groaned, falling back onto Wonwoo’s bed.

Wonwoo flopped beside her.

“You’re gonna get absolutely roasted by everyone. And I make no promises that I won’t join in”

“They won’t find out I lost it.”

“And how’s that? I might be an annoying maknae and tell them” Y/N smiled smugly.

“Well, for starters I could tell them that you’ve secretly been eating chips despite being diet buddies with Jeonghan”

“Pshhh. That’s nothing. Jihoon Oppa legit joined me last night. We ate his secret stash of snakes”

“Fine. I’ll tell them that you lost your ring aswell.”

“No I didn’t”

“Yes you did.”

“When did I? Have you noticed me not wear the ring? Don’t li-?”

“Firstly, you rattle on when you’re nervous.’ Y/N shut her mouth, before she could make her mistake more obvious, allowing Wonwoo to keep talking.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you wearing gloves to practise. And ONLY on your left hand.”

“W-Wh-What?” Y/N Stuttered. Not sure if admitting her mistake or continuing to lie would be her best option.

She chose the former. “I’ll keep quiet about you, and you keep quiet about me.”

Wonwoo grabbed his gloves from the mountain of clothes, and quickly slipped them on his hands.

“Look’s like we got ourselves a deal.”

The mood quickly sombered up when Wonwoo did a deep sigh and asked.

“What actually happens if I’ve lost my ring?”

“You get a new one?”

“No. But like…”

He trailed off to collect this thoughts.

“Would I get in trouble?”

“I mean Pledis might be a bit pissed off cos they need to spend money on another ring. But I’m sure they’ll do it without a doubt. It’s our brand.”

“No not pledis. I don’t give a flying shit about them. I meant the others.”

“Who the members.” Wonwoo nods his head in confirmation.

Y/N leans her head against the crook of his neck, “You’ll get bagged for it. But they won’t take it too seriously.”

“But the rings a symbol of our friendship and trust.” Trust Wonwoo to go all literature on her.

“Exactly. A symbol.”

Wonwoo looked at Y/N, clearly not understanding the connection.

Y/N smiled, finally outsmarting the group’s so-called genius.

“It’s a symbol. Not the real thing. Think of the Jjapaguri in ‘Parasite.’ It’s a mix of aspects of poor and rich, but even if it wasn’t included, the characters would be struggling to act rich.” Y/n finished proudly.

“If you’re going to talk nonsense, at least talk to someone who believes you. Like Chan. He believes the chicken comes before the egg. Idiot.”

Y/N jumped up. “Well, if I’m such an idiot, you can deal with this ring situation all by yourself.”

“Wait no.” Wonwoo quickly sat up on his bed. “You’re a genius. Brilliant. Smartest member.”

He tilted his head, “Happy?”

“Very” Y/N replied.

“Can you make some ramen when I chuck my clothes back in the drawers?”

“Fine. We can fill their stomachs up so they don’t ask too many questions?” Y/N held out her hand and dragged Wonwoo up.

20 minutes later, a living room where the floor was visible and 10 portions of msg-filled ramen was placed on the table, to greet their 5 other roommates.

Soon the door banged open, and numerous sweaty man-childs came tumbling in.

“Wonwoo you absolute idiot. We’re never gonna forget this” Seokmin said happily.

“What?”

Hoshi stepped out behind him, proudly holding up his pinky.

“Soonyoung, don’t you have your own dorm to-”

Wonwoo squinted. On the Performance leaders left pinky were 2 silver rings.

Wonwoo would only sheepishly smile, while pointing behind him.

“Hey, I cleaned the living room.”

[dragon-kazansky]

The man a few doors down - Arthur Fleck x Reader

Summary: Arthur is curious about you. Looks like you could use a friend too.

Downtown Gotham was a shit place to live. There was no sugar coating it at all. Half of Gotham struggled to get by, while the other half lived high and mighty just because they had the money to do so. It sucked. It was a disgrace to think that people even lived that way.

You worked hard. You always did your best, but what did you get in return? Practically nothing.

You lived in a shabby apartment in a dodgy part of the city. The lifts didn’t work properly and the lobby was probably cleaned less than once a month; once a year if lucky.

You had a shitty paying job, no car and you lived alone. Your life was the least exciting thing on the planet. Your existence went unnoticed by literally everyone. This was Gotham’s true colours.

It rained today. You were soaked to the bone when you reached your apartment building. The droplets fell to the floor as you sighed and shuffled over to check for post. You tried not to think about your horrid day as you opened the locker and saw nothing. As usual, there was nothing there.

As you closed the locker, a tall man came up beside you to check for his own post. He didn’t pay you any mind.

You didn’t know him and you had only seen him once before. You didn’t know his name, but you were pretty sure he lived a few doors down from your apartment.

You let him be as you made your way to the lift, not having the energy to take the stairs.

Just as the doors opened and you got in, the tall man also stepped inside. His eyes met yours for a moment, but you looked away instantly. You didn’t have the energy to deal with other people either.

The man pressed a button on the console and the doors closed.

You chose to play with your finger nails while you waited for the ancient lift to go up a few floors.

Arthur glanced at you from the corner of his eye. He had seen you around the building, but had never spoken to you. You were the pretty lady from a few doors down.

You always seemed to be alone.

It came as no surprise when the lift came to a halt. It did this often and the only thing that could be done was wait it out, as annoying as it was.

You gave a sigh as you covered your face with your hands and tried not to cry out loud. You were so done with your day. All you wanted to do was go home, curl up in bed and sleep.

You don’t know what you did to deserve this, but you were sorry for whatever it was.

The lift set back into motion and you glanced just once to the man beside you, realising his gaze was on you. You turned away quickly.

The doors opened and he let you get out first.

You both turned down the same hall and walked to your respective doors. Arthur was slow to open his as he watched from the corner of his eyes. You dropped your key, let our a groan in annoyance, hastily picked it up and quickly unlocked your door, disappearing inside.

His heart went out to you.

Arthur had bad days, but clearly yours was worse than his today.

Once you were inside your apartment you slammed the door shut, dropped all of your things and went to your bedroom, shedding from your wet clothes and putting on your cosy pyjamas. You climbed into your bed and buried your face into the pillow, letting all the stress of the day melt away.

You had heard the time of it being just a bad day, not a bad life, but this was Gotham. You didn’t think anything could get any better if you tried.

You closed your eyes and tried to let sleep take you.

It almost worked until you heard knocking on your door.

You let out a groan, just wanting to be left alone, but you up anyway, shuffling to the door.

You slowly unhooked the latch and peered around the door.

It was the man from earlier.

“Hello.” He smiled. It was a soft gesture that made his eyes sparkle a little.

“Hello...” You weren’t sure why he was here. You didn’t know him all that well and had never spoken to him before.

“I brought this for you.” He held up a small plastic tub that looked like it was containing soup. “You looked like you could use it.... before.”

You blinked slowly.

Gotham was full corrupt and nasty people, but if this told you anything, there were still a few good souls left in this city.

You took it from him. It was warm.

“Thank you. Do you... want to come in?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” He smiled again. You opened the door wider and let him in, closing it behind him. He shuffled over to your sofa and sat down as you went into the kitchen.

You put the soup into a bowl and came back to sit with your neighbour.

It was quiet for a while.

Arthur glanced at you as you tucked into the soup he had made. Now, he had suffered through many bad days, but you looked like your day had been particularity rough. His heart went out to you and on a whim, he decided he would try to make you smile.

“This is really good.” You took another spoonful.

“Good. I made it for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that. I appreciated that you went out of your way for me. I’ve seen you around, but we’ve never talked before.” You kept your gaze on the soup.

“You’re a nice person.” He whispered.

You furrowed your brow wondering what he meant.

“I’ve noticed the things you’ve done. I wish there were more people like you.” His eyes were watching you, he wanted to see your face, but you kept your gaze away from his.

“The things I’ve done?”

“Mother says you take the trash out when I’m not here to do it. You bring her cakes sometimes. You feed the cat in the alley everyday.” He’s smiling. A genuine smile.

It suits him.

You put the bowl down, pretty much empty now.

“It’s nothing. It’s just stuff I do.” You shrug.

“It means a lot to me. It felt right to do something in return.” His voice was soft.

You met his gaze and smiled up at him. His smile grew when he saw it. He had succeeded in his mission.

“I live alone. Helping others is what I like to do.”

“I wish more people were like you.” He said again, softer this time.

“This is Gotham, nice people basically don’t exist.” You found yourself leaning into him a little bit. He let you.

“I found one, that’s enough for me.”

You chuckled.

“You’re sweet, Arthur.”

“You know my name?” He didn’t remember introducing himself to you.

“Yeah, your mother likes to talk.” You chuckled. “I’m Y/N.”

“I know. You’re right, my mother likes to talk.” He smiled brightly. “It’s nice to meet you properly.”

“Right back at you.”

After that night Arthur would stop by your apartment and check in on you. It had become a daily mission of his to make sure you smiled at least once. It made his heart leap to know that he was able to make you smile.

No matter how bad a day you had, Arthur made the effort to come and see you.

Then you started going to see him.

You would sit together and watch TV, talk to his mother, have dinner together.

You had made friends with the man a few doors down.

Arthur Fleck was a man who was struggling with himself, but he had found comfort in you. You were his saving light in a sense, and with you he knew what it meant to really smile.

He liked you.

Then things started to change.

He tried to hide it at first, but you had a good idea. You were clever so he should have known you would catch on. 

Arthur kept putting you before himself and you had grown worried. You knew people weren't nice to him. That was putting it nicely. People were down right horrid, cruel to him.

It was important to you that he took care of himself.

Arthur grew distant with you. He didn’t see you for days.

Then his mother died. Of course he didn’t tell you why, but you also didn’t ask. He came to your door and you were there for him, just as he had hoped. He found comfort in your arms that night and spent the night with you, holding onto you for dear life.

The next day he was gone. You didn’t see him for a few more days.

You were concerned. His distance from you didn’t sit right with you. You needed to know your friend was OK.

You knocked on his door.

You could hear a lot of shuffling before the door was opened. You looked at the sight information front of you.

Arthur was stood there in a pair of Panama pants, his chest bare and his face covered in paint.

You wondered for a moment if he was getting ready for work.

Though it felt a bit late in the evening for his job.

Arthur looked surprised to see you.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to check on you. I haven't see you in a few days." You tried bot to stare at the fading bruise on his body.

It was obvious people beat him.

"I'm OK." He said softly.

"What are you doing?" You asked softly.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you?”

“No.” You were being cautious. There was something strange in the atmosphere. A shift in his personality. Something was off.

“I’ll be on the Murray Franklin show.” He was smiling.

It was eerie.

“Oh wow. Congratulations. You’re a big fan of his right?” You remember seeing it on TV on some of his visits. He also mentioned here and there. It was actually pretty cool to hear he was going to be one show.

But you didn’t watch the show normally, so you didn’t know what had been said about Arthur.

“Will you watch it?” He asked cheerfully.

“Of course, if you’re going to be on it.” You smiled, a genuine smile that made his heart leap for joy.

“I have to finish getting ready. Don’t forget.” He closed the door.

You thought the whole exchange odd. You didn’t see him for days and he’s acting as if everything is fine. You worried about him. He suffered. He’s been through a lot.

This was weird.

You went back to your place and tried not to worry too much about it, but the nagging feeling in the back of your head never went away.

The show started.

You didn’t know what was going to happen. You didn’t realise just how bad things had become.

The killings. His mother. Thomas Wayne. The police.

Tonight.

A clip of Arthur was being shown. He had mentioned Pogo’s, even invited you to come see him sometime, but it never happened. You felt awful.

They were mocking him.

“Shit.”

You could only imagine the effect that had on him. It was at this point you had grown even more concerned about his behaviour.

Then he was introduced onto the show.

You couldn’t really tell it was him, but at the same time, you could.

In a suit of red and clown make up on his face, he danced his way over to the sofa. The following became a blur after he pulled out his joke book. The book you knew he also kept as a journal filled with his bad thoughts.

It was those bad thoughts that worried you. They never really went away.

How could you have known he would go this far?

Next thing you knew Murray was dead and Arthur had been tackled to the ground by guards at the station.

The way looked down the camera. You wondered what he was thinking. Was he wondering if you were watching him?

You couldn’t take it.

“My God...” You grabbed your coat and ran outside, not caring if the door hadn’t shut properly. You needed to see him for yourself. 

Those days you didn’t see him had changed everything about the sweet Arthur who had come to your place to cheer you up. The kind man who had brought you soup was the same man who had shot someone live on TV, and apparently killed those three Wall Street men in the subway.

You tried to make the connection, but you couldn’t.

You ran. Ran faster than you ever thought you could. Only coming to a stop when you saw the ambulance crash into the police car.

You came to a halt and stared at the scene in horror.

Three guys in clown masks made their way to the car, two of them reaching into the backseat. Somehow you just knew who they were reaching for.

He was in that car.

“Arthur.” The name barely left your lips.

They pulled him through the window and set him down on the car. You hurried over to his side quickly. They didn’t seem to question it.

Everyone in Gotham who had idolised this man, wearing clown masks, gathered around him.

“Arthur.” You placed your hands on his face. The blood didn’t bother you. You just wanted to know he was alive. You rested your head on his chest to listen for his heart. Then you looked back up at his face.

He was waking up.

“Arthur!”

He blinked his eyes open slowly, sitting up with a groan.

“No.” He muttered.

“No?”

He took a moment to gather himself. He gazed around him and the sight was something to behold. He gently pushed you away as he stood up on the hood of the car, looking around at the crowd. The clown masks. The gathering.

People noticed him.

He was silent for a while. Looking around him. Thinking.

With one hand he reached up to his nose. Blood.

He smiled.

He dragged his fingers from the corners of his lips, creating a bloody smile. He kept his hands out, laughing.

They cheered.

They all cheered.

You ignored the crowd as you stared up at the man in front of you. It was then you realised. ‘No.’ This wasn’t Arthur. This was someone new entirely. Arthur was gone.

Blinking, you noticed the hand outstretched to you. You gazed up at him.

You took it.

The man in red pulled you up onto the car with him.

“Did you watch the show?” He asked you, choosing to ignore the consistent cheering around him.

“I did.”

He had the biggest smile on his face.

“No more Arthur?”

“No more Arthur.”

His hands held your arms gently. His gaze was locked with yours. The smile remained on his face.

His life wasn’t a tragedy anymore.

“Call me Joker.”

His hands squeezed your arms, though not too tight.

You tried not to let the tears fall.

He saw them glisten in your eyes.

“Joker.” You whispered, your voice failing you.

He remained smiling.

His life was a comedy.

That was the punchline.

The man who lived a few doors down was gone. Now there was this clown. A prince of crime. And he was happy.

He tucked some hair behind your ear.

“I wish more people were like you, but it looks like we got more people like me.” The happiness in his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

The tear fell.

You didn’t know what would happen to Gotham now, but you did know it was never going to be the same.

Arthur was never going to be same.

Tags:

@ntb-outsider @awyr @fandombeehive  @charmed-asylum​

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e2: of mouse and man

episode summary: brain needs money to build a perpetual answering machine to occupy everyone in the world for long enough for him to take over. to do that, he needs an absurd amount of money, so he decides to get a job in an office!

and then fake a nondairy creamer accident that turned him into a mouse, because as we all know, brain has to take the most dramatic path he possibly can in life, or he dies.

the rundown:

we open with pinky showing off his ass.

PRODUCED BY PETER HASTINGS. i assume that means the episode, and not the ass. the ass was initially produced by pinky’s parents and then helped along by the warner brothers’ dietary experts for their. mouse actors.

brain isn’t feeling it right now.

instead, as he plucks a rib from the lab’s anatomical model of a human being, and uses it to unpick his cage, he angsts - WRITTEN BY PETER HASTINGS - he angsts over the Dark Side Of Man, that has built war machines and pollution spilling factories and

VOICEMAIL.

😱

as pinky continues to stick his ass out (though onlyfans wouldn’t be launched for another twenty one years) brain runs through his latest plan, which, of course, involves voicemail.

look at those wiggles. this is a rough draft episode.

anyway brain intends to reroute all telephone conversations into his confusing, recursive, voicemail service that, he claims, will keep the human race occupied for “at least seventy two hours.”

“more than enough time for a well prepared mouse to seize control of the planet.”

“i see! so all we need now is a well prepared mouse.”

I???????

HOLY FUCK

brain is unhappy. i am not surprised.

“i am a well prepared mouse, pinky.”

“oh. well. there you are, then.”

unfortunately this plan comes with the pitfall that it will cost.... one million, six hundred and fourteen thousand dollars. which is a lot of money, or, as pinky puts it, “a lot of money!”

as brain wonders about how to raise these funds (”without running for congress”) pinky pinkys off to watch some tv.

HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED IN AN ON THE JOB ACCIDENT

YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, EVEN ONE MILLION SIX HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS IN COMPENSATION

LENNY PARVIK GOT ME TWO HUNDRED AND ELEVEN DOLLARS

EVEN THOUGH I’M NOW NINETY PERCENT FUDGE, IT’S OKAY BECAUSE LENNY PARVIK GOT ME ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTY TWO DOLLARS SIXTEEN CENTS AND SOME CHANGE

<LOUD, INCREDIBLY DISTRESSED CRYING>

hm.

“pinky, are you pondering what i’m pondering?“

“i think so, brain, but i get all clammy inside a tent.”

anyway so brain’s new plan is to get a job, stage a

HIDEOUS ACCIDENT

and then sue them for one million, six hundred and fourteen thousand dollars in workers compensation.

this episode also has a lot of faces. god, but these mice are so bloody cute. youtube has not yet been invented, but one day it will be, and all brain has to do is sit in front of a camera and nom some corn and go O:O with his face, and everyone will be crying over him within minutes.

it’s so sad that he doesn’t know that.

but for now, he has a job interview to go to. good luck, brain! can’t be any worse than that time allsaints forgot about me and the manager acted like it was my fault.

“impressive credentials. you’re certainly qualified. are you married?”

“oh, yes, i have a lovely wife and two beautiful young children.”

“oh that’s too bad. we’re looking for someone who has no life. thank you.”

as family man walks off, dejected, in comes a completely unsuspicious fellow looking for an honest living honest living, just like in rent the musical.

his arm is acting up, a bit, but it’s fine.

“very impressive resume. princeton, harvard, six years in the industry-- tell me, mr brain, what are your long term career goals?”

“i plan on taking over the world.”

“you have drive! i like that! but confidentially, taking over the world is my job, hahahaha.”

”yes. haha. ha.”

”now. brass tax - are you married?”

“i do have a roommate. but he’s very busy with his own activities.”

HA HA HOO HOO HOO

<muah>

HAHA

“but. one more thing. about your head. isn’t it rather small?”

“no. not for my race.”

“no! no, of course not-- and your people are such... good... cooks... with their tiny heads, uh. please. excuse me for one second.”

“carol! send everyone else home! i got myself a minority person!”

BRUH I?!??!?!?!?!

anyway. brain gets the job.

“mr brain! welcome to the world of re-reinsurance!”

he’s delighted.

back at the labs, he plots his untimely demise at the hands of re-reinsurance,

stating the accident “could be bluffed by altering the mollecular matrix through a substrate platform of microwaves.”

pinky’s response to this is “look brain, i made a choo-choo.”

“oh, and me without my video camera!”

in simpler terms, he explains to pinky that he will stage an accident, “utilising the microwave oven and the non-dairy powdered creamer.”

“because”, to pinky’s apparent horror, “nobody really knows how a microwave works.”

“but why the powdered creamer, brain?”

“nobody knows how that works either.”

(and then, i guess, there’s a scene where some guys jump him on the train for some reason,

i’m only putting it here because this guy is like “oh, you’re funny, you’re a regular gallagher”

and brain’s like “you think gallagher is funny?”

):

anyway then he ties the dude into a pretzel and throws him off the train.

bonk. it adds nothing, but it’s very funny.)

“this is your cubicle right here. if you need any office supplies, ask the office manager and she should have them over in two or three months.”

it’s brain’s first day at work! his boss reads him the company policy on

vacations, personal phone calls,

and sexual harassment.

“don’t worry about it. you’re safe if you avoid all contact with other humans.”

“my goal in life.”

as brain unpacks the things that pinky has packed for his “home away from home,

awwwww.

his nosy cubicle neighbour inquires about brain’s “pet mouse,”

elaborating that he keeps mice! haha! to feed to his pet snake!

to be fair this is also me around snake people. more understandable in brain’s case, being that he is, actually, a mouse, and i am a human person who may be slightly obsessed with tiney small flofys.

;u;

(they play tennis on their lunch break and brain sets him on fire, so it’s not too bad.)

upon his return from the office, pinky, who has dolled himself up to the nines, presents brain with a Yummy Dinner of Food Pellets With Food Pellets.

i will say i think it’s really cute how this show keeps pushing the narrative that pinky just really, really wants to be an old timey housewife. he just spends his time watching i love lucy (when Fish TV isn’t on) and stuff like that and he’s just obsessed with the idea of dusting something alluringly but ineffectively and making brain little dinners.

and it’s so fucking cute!!! what??? it’s adorable. as soon as they get the world pinky better get a little dollhouse kitchen room with lime green everything and a functioning oven.

“please, pinky. i’ve had a very tough day.”

“oh, you have? you’ve had a tough day?”

“what about my day, brain? we always hear about your day, but what about mine?!”

“DO YOU EVER ASK WHAT I DID TODAY???!”

“very well pinky. what did you do today?”

“i don’t remember.”

“anything?”

“not a thing.”

“well, now i know how american gladiator stays on the air.”

the next day, at work, brain is vexed by the fact that nobody has refilled the coffee machine.

“sorry. that’s my fault. hey, you’re cute.”

“you know what they say. big ears. big earmuffs.”

.....okay.

unfortunately brain’s mechanical arm chooses now to malfunction.

she’s into it?

brain maintains that it was a mistake, and he doesn’t find her attractive at all, because brain knows how to talk to women.

she is no longer into it.

horrified by his semi-accidental fuckboy behaviour, brain heads out as quickly as he can, only to be immediately called into his boss’ office.

despite brain’s claims that “the young lady appears to have misunderstood me,” which i’m sure will hold up well on twitter,

mr boss man reveals that he has done some fact checking, and there is no record of brain attending harvard or princeton.

“oh.”

he is given the ultimatum that he either produce his diplomas, or HIS CAREER IN RE-REINSURANCE IS OH OH OVER!!!

very sad!

looks like it’s time to stage a workplace related accident.

he pours the creamer everywhere, discards his suit, and runs up to plonk himself merrily into the pile.

ahem.

HELP, HELP. A TERRIBLE  OCCUPATIONAL DISASTER. I’VE BEEN MAIMED BY AN ON THE JOB ACCIDENT REQUIRING MASSIVE WORKERS’ COMPENSATION.

as others in the office crowd around to look, brain makes his dramatic reveal.

“i’ve been turned into a mouse!”

COLLECTIVE GASP.

obviously mr boss man won’t pay that kind of money.

so, as brain emphatically tells him, I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT.

conclusion:

as the goodfeathers sit on justice’s head, and bitch about jury duty,

The Man From Washinton asserts that brain’s claim that he is a mouse is preposterous.

good thing brain has xrays to prove it! they “clearly” define his “mouse skeleton!” wait a sec and he’ll grab them.

oh shit! where they go?

(”there really is only one conclusion here.” says a local doctor.

“this man is a mouse.”

“then i’m afraid the only conclusion here, doctor,”

“is that you have never seen these.”

“i trust this might keep you quiet.”

“it might.”)

(BRUH/???????????????) (if boss man is out here bribing people with lingerie, he could have tried that way before this got to court.)

egged on by the lack of evidence in Mouse Corner, christopher walken produces the artefacts from brain’s office cubicle.

“i ask you, when was the last time you heard of a mouse winning a bowling trophy?”

“ugh. pinky.”

“yes?”

turns out pinky is here because “they’re not covering this on court tv,” but does advise brain that “it’s a good thing they didn’t find the mechanical suit, eh, brain?”

oh shit.

“pinky, you must go to the office and get that suit from the kitchen closet. do you understand? if they find that we’re sunk.”

“oh! brain! you want me to help!”

off he goes!

fall mouse. bonk.

(he sneaks into the snack delivery.)

(poit.)

(unfortunately, he gets delivered straight to the vending machine.)

(”narf? ):”)

“well. yes. i had noticed his... small, furry head, but i assumed that was normal for his people.”

“and what people would that be.”

“i’m not sure? i think they’re from europe?? maybe france.”

“the size of my head and whether i was a man before the accident is not the question, here. the fact is i am now a mouse.”

(meanwhile, at fiero:

“try the fruit rollups. they’re yummy.”

“oh, i am doing well. poit.”)

“so how exactly did the accident happen, mr brain?”

“some bizarre thing involving a microwave oven? i don’t know exactly-- no one really knows how they work.”

“incorrect! in the oven, a magnetron produces microwaves which cause water molecules to align, and reverse alignment, producing heat, and not mice.”

“the accident also involved a.... nondairy powdered creamer.”

“ah. um. oh.”

(meanwhile,

pinky attempts to drive.)

“mr brain, in your experience with other mice, are they intelligent?”

“no.”

“exactly. your honour, i contend that mr brain is simply too intelligent to be a mouse.”

oh dear.

(meanwhile,

pinky tries not to get hit by a car.)

“but-- no, noo, i’m not intelligent.”

“i am a simpleton! yes. like any average mouse!”

“um. narf.”

that’s mean, brain, considering the aforementioned narf is on his way to save your gay little ass right now, but whatever.

“so you would have no problem with me saying that albert einstien was a champion surfer.”

“what-- i mean, no.”

“or that the temperature of the sun is a comfortable seventy degrees fahrenheight.”

“i wouldn’t know--”

“or that the fermi-dirac’s distribution function is a soup kitchen?”

“that’s preposterous! your honour, the fermi-dirac's function is, for any system of identical fermions in equilibrium,”

“the probability that a quantum state of energy -- E -- is occupied!”

“my word, man! don’t you know your quantum statistics!”

heck.

bonk.

“oh, blunder.”

and what a blunder indeed! the judge decides to rule that brain’s intelligence proves that he is “not a mouse, and that being the basis for your claim, i now dismiss charges against fiero and company.”

“.....very well. i’ll go now.”

“i’m afraid not. i find you guilty of fraud, perjury, and appearing naked in a public place. take him away.”

good thing they have human man sized handcuffs for this human man! brain looks incredibly perturbed, despite the fact he could probably swim in them. and also that he... kind of lives in a prison anyway, if you think about it. oh, cool, can’t wait to evade that cage so i can go live in my other cage.

hm.

luckily, pinky arrives to save us all from that particular moral quandry.

“i got the suit, brain! i got it!”

“pinky--”

the police attempt to intercept pinky,

so he knocks them over. hoo hoo.

brain falls over,

attempts to enter the suit through the shoe,

and is squoshed for his crimes.

faced with a veritable army of police, at this point,

pinky activates the emergency protocol,

says blue lives scatter,

and fucks off out of the courthouse.

we stan a legend.

unfortunately brain got a fair few ouchies during his prison break, so pinky bandages him up. it’s very cute.

anyway, i’m giving this one to brain, on account there were, yknow, a fair few ways that could have been mitigated. fiero fucked him over, though, so i’ll give him that.

brain: 5 ½ pinky: 6 ½ outside influence: 10

 “egad, brain! brilliant!”

“but isn’t that horribly illegal?”

“............yes.”

[deans-mind-palace]

Conversations in the Dark

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Summary: Nothing’s real what happens in the dark. That’s what your mother told you about nightmares. But you’re hunter and you know that nightmares exist in the daylight, too. Your relationship with Cas isn’t always easy. However, in moments of doubt it’s good you have each other. Because that’s all that really matters.

Word Count: 2,496

Warnings: A lot of angst, fluff and some snoring Winchesters

Author’s Note: This fic is based on the new song ‚Conversations in the dark‘ by John Legend. It is a present for the 200 followers celebration. Show it some love. <3

Like always, my tag lists are OPEN!!!

Wanna read more? Have a look here: Masterlist

"So guys, that's it. We're all exhausted and there's no motel the next few miles. Guess, we have to stop here." Dean announced as he drove the Impala off the road and into a parking lot. The gravel crunched under the tires as soon as the car came to a halt and the engine purred until Dean pulled the key out of the ignition hole and ran over his eyes in exhaustion. The radio died down and for a moment there was silence in the car. Sam yawned and tried to fold his long legs comfortably in the passenger seat. Another night he had to spend sitting. Alone at the thought of the back pain he pulled a face. Dean stretched out his legs and leaned back in his seat as best he could. Cas sat with you in the back seat. You were as exhausted as the two brothers and could only keep your eyes open with difficulty. Your head rested on Cas' shoulder for some time. Gently his deep voice reached you.

"Come on, Y/N. You're tired, let's get some sleep." When he said "us", he really meant you, because the angel did not sleep. But since your relationship he had gotten into the habit of spending the nights with you, even if that meant he had to fold up with three other people in a car just to be at your side. You gave him a tired smile when you finally lay on the seats. The bench was not very broad and Cas held you tightly wrapped so you wouldn't slide into the footwell. Soon you had found a more or less comfortable position. Your legs were entangled and his hand rested on your back, while he pressed you against his chest. His chin rested against your forehead and your hands lay on his chest. He smiled at you through the darkness and his stubble scratched your skin. His teeth shone bright in the darkness. From the front seats you could already hear the brothers' steady breathing. They were fast asleep.

Talk Let's have conversations in the dark World is sleeping, I'm awake with you With you Watch Movies that we've both already seen I ain't even looking at the screen, it's true I got my eyes on you

You sighed contentedly and your gaze slipped out of the window of the Impala. While lying down, you could see the bright stars in the night-black sky. You were so far away from the nearest town that the sky was perfectly clear. Purple, pink and blue blended into a single work of art, interwoven with small white stars. "Cas. Look! Look at the stars! Aren't they beautiful?" you breathed happily and he could clearly hear the admiration in your voice. You beamed at the sight of the stars. Cas hummed. He had not even looked out the window. His eyes were only on you. How beautiful you looked. How the moon cast a shadow over your face and made your skin shine silvery. How your eyes sparkled in the dark and you bit your lip. "Hm, right." he muttered, but his gaze never left your face.

And you say that you're not worth it You get hung up on your flaws Well, in my eyes you are perfect As you are

"Have you ever seen anything more beautiful than the night sky? Anything more magical?" you asked as you continued to dreamily look up at the stars. Cas knew God's creation by heart. He had seen the stars countless times before, he was there when they were created. They were beautiful, but they could not keep up with you. You were the most beautiful thing God had ever created and he was grateful for every day he was allowed to spend at your side. You cast a spell over Cas with your very own magic. "Nothing is more beautiful than the stars," you whispered into the silence with fascination. "Yes, you," he replied honestly and his voice rumbled deep in his chest. You looked at the angel and smiled. "Charmeur." Your fingers gently stroked his cheek before kissing him. Your hand found his and you crossed your fingers while you looked up into the stars together and hung on to your thoughts.

I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart

He loved your fascination, even for the little things. With such devotion you did the things you loved. Your selflessness. You would die for him or the brothers without hesitation. Your silence. You could sit for hours during a thunderstorm in a rundown hotel room, staring out the window, lost in thought, with his head in your lap and your fingers gently combing through his brown hair, while a pleasant silence reigned and you listened to nature. After a failed hunt you would tell him stories from your childhood until he would lie calmly with you in his arms. Even if that meant you had to make up stories. Castiel loved so many little things about you. How you would always let Dean pick the television channel to avoid a fight. How you always sang or whistled in the shower. How your nose turned up when you bit into a slice of your favorite pizza.

You were perfect. And Castiel loved you for who you were. "What's your greatest secret, Cas?" you asked, turning your head so your beautiful eyes met him. You looked at him questioningly. Cas didn't have to think long. "That I love you." And with a smile on his face, he watched you frown at that answer. "But it's no secret. Dean and Sam know." you muttered, and your eyes looked at him big and innocent. He laughed softly at your amazement. "That's right. But only I will ever know how much I really love you, because words don't even begin to describe it." The angel gave you a gentle kiss on the forehead. You loved it when Cas was like that. It was a side of Castiel that was reserved for you, that he showed only to you. Only with you was this quiet angel so open and soulful. Only with him did you feel complete.

Suddenly a shooting star was streaming across the dark night sky. You closed your eyes and made a wish. "What is your greatest wish, sweetheart?" mumbled Cas near your ear and a pleasant shiver ran down your spine. You embarrassingly bit your lip and avoided his gaze. "I - no, it's silly. It was a stupid wish I shouldn't have made. Forget it." You shook your head and looked ahead at your sleeping brothers as you felt Cas's fingers gently lift your chin and turn it towards him. "If this is your wish, it can't be stupid, Y/N." His blue eyes searching for yours and you saw the seriousness in them. You swallowed nervously and nodded slightly. You'd never told anybody about your biggest dream. Not even the person you loved most on this earth.

On Sunday mornings we sleep-in 'til noon Well, I can sleep forever next to you Next to you And we We got places we both gotta be But there ain't nothing I would rather do Then blow off all my plans for you

"I wish the apple pie life for us, Cas. I wish it so much. We could travel the country like normal people and stay in a place we like. We'll look for a little house in a beautiful area where the neighbours have barbecues and celebrate the Fourth of July together. We could make the house cosy and I could grow yellow tea roses in the front garden. Maybe we would have a dog. And a spacious kitchen where we could cook together. Maybe we could plant tomatoes in the garden. And never motel beds again! We'd have our own cozy bedroom. On rainy days we wouldn't even get up, but just listen to the rain pattering against the windows while I'm in your arms. On Sundays, we'd sleep in and I'd make us pancakes." As you talked, Cas closed his eyes and imagined every single scene you described.

How Cas carried you over the threshold of a small house and your eyes sparkled with joy. How your face and hands were encrusted with dirt, yet you grinned at him broadly. How you lay in his arms and his gaze followed the raindrops running down the window. How you stood in his shirt in the kitchen in the morning, making a mess to make pancakes.

There were scenes that put a smile on his face and he felt his heart longed for this life. It was a life you could never have, but with you at his side he dared to dream. He dared for a moment to give himself to the illusion of a normal life.

When Cas opened his eyes again, he saw other stars fall from the sky. Shooting stars were speeding across the sky. It was a night of the wishes.

And you say that you're not worth it And get hung up on your flaws But in my eyes you are perfect As you are As you are

If you were honest, you didn't know what you were wishing for. Like so many hunters of the supernatural, you had never led a normal life and had no idea what you were talking about. You noticed that Cas' smile slipped a little when you first made your wish. Of course it was bullshit. That's why you kept your wish to yourself. You swallowed. It was just one of your nonsense, that's all.

It wasn't the first time that you realized that you would never be married or have children. On some days the thought of spending the rest of your life with salt and corpses seemed unbearable. There would never be a normal life for you. Your boyfriend was an angel. A powerful, superhuman being who could end your life with a snap of his fingers if he wanted to. Cas would never be able to live like a human being. He was immortal, you just a human. You would not grow old together. His body would age, but his spirit could not decompose. One day, you would die, and Castiel would be left behind alone. The thought would make your heart contracted in pain. Cas read your mind, and he pulled you closer.

I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart

"I'm sorry I can't be the one you want me to be. That I can't give you the life you want to live." You looked at him with those big eyes. "And if you want me to go, I will, Y/N. All you have to do is send me away because I'm not strong enough. But it's selfish to take away your chance at a normal life." His voice trembled. "Cas, don't you ever say that again, do you hear me?" you said startled. "But-" You gently put your finger on his lips, and he looked at you insecurely as he fell silent. "My life is not normal, Castiel. Never has been, never will be. But, Cas, any life is a good life as long as you're by my side. I love you, and I would never want to change anything about you. You are my angel. Literally. Don't let them tell you different." He nodded hesitantly.

"All these things. They mean nothing to me if it means you're not by my side. That we have moments like this." Your hand was on Cas' chest above his heart and you felt the excited pounding beneath. He pressed a kiss against your temple and together you looked up at the stars again. "I wouldn't trade this moment of lying here with you, philosophizing about life as we contemplate the stars, for anything in the world. You are what matters, Cas. You make my life worth living, Castiel. Don't break my heart," you whispered softly into the darkness of the night, as if the stars could hear your words and carry them out into the world, until the last man knew that you and the angel were one.

When no one seems to notice And your days, they seem so hard My darling, you should know this My love is everywhere you are

"You know I'll always be with you and go with you every step of the way. I will follow you wherever you go. I'll look at the stars with you until the end of time if that's what you want." Suddenly he looked embarrassed and your fingers were combing through his brown hair. For a moment there was silence between you, while you waited for Cas' next words. From the front seats still sounded faint breathing and Dean murmured softly as he turned.

"I'm happy as long as you are." He finally said. His warm breath brushed across your ear and made you shiver. His deep voice echoing in your mind. "And I am happy when you are by my side. Until the end of time." "Until the end of time," the angel repeated, intertwining your fingers over his heart with his.

I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart

For some time you remained lying there in the silence and enjoyed the closeness of the other. Until dawn you looked at the stars shooting across the sky. You made wishes for the well-being of Cas, Dean and Sam. It was night of the wishes, after all, and tonight everything seemed to be possible. Maybe your wishes would be heard. You watched the sky change from deep black to stormy blue to dreamy purple to soft pink to fiery orange. It was the image of your feelings. The light of the stars faded as a new day began. And it was a good day because Castiel was with you and every day with Castiel was a good day. Because it had been a silent promise.

I won't break your heart

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