#if i was better at like Narrative Writing id LOVE to do a bunch of dif like. werewolf series

[matoitech]

i love making shit where the audience is me. its just me. and if other ppl enjoy it thats awesome. i thinkthis is important when creating that u make the most niche stuff in the world both bcuz its good for ur soul and bcuz it tends to do pretty well w other ppl looking for smth 2 fill that specific void u wanted filled w stories too

[oathofkaslana]

hi hi hi leeeee :] as a colleiwarrior it is my duty to ask about collei o7 and if you want to do it id like to hear your thoughts about xiao too hehe

HAI PLUTO!!!! ill do collei and then xiao :3

Collei:

First impression:

OHHH I LOVE HER ALREADY SHE'S SO SNARKY AND HER LORE IS SO COMPELLING....... very very excited to see her in game i hope she comes out soon (<- had to wait like what. two/three years????)

Impression now:

gives me brain worms my God. i think i've thought about her too much bc theres so many lil symbols that i associate w her that just aren't intentional in the slightest. she has so so so much lovea nd heart in her and i wishhhh people understood her better. also extremely disappointed in her in-game writing for multiple reasons but like. the ableism and misogyny being a big one. :( colleination could fix her...... i wish she were more mean in the game.

Favorite moment:

her fight w kaeya and the subsequent "confrontation" w amber....... makes me so so sick in the head that was The original collei trio to me. i looove how it plays w all three of their characters even if it isn't shown very well. it's also the basis for a lot of my interpretation of collei since it shows the extent of her beliefs/lack of belief. dear god..... it's so so good.

Idea for a story:

i've talked abt wt spin off au and windblume rewrite a bunch on this blog so let's go with amber and collei liyue trip!! :DD someone comes and tells amber they heard something about her grandfather in qingce while collei's in town and obv collei's like i can't hold you back on this! so they jsut decide to go together bc collei's packed a bag anyways and they're both adept w survival skills surely their different skills will come in handy for liyue. going to qingce leads them to going to yilong port (i'd do qiaoying but i feel like its too close) and amber's like. kinda stumbling w her broken canto-mando and feeling weirdly emotional and she and collei both bond w "coming back" to a generational homeland while feeling like a stranger and its an important moment to both of them bonding as friends and a pivitol point of collei changing her idea of amber as a savior as more of amber as a best friend yk :''). also ga-ming....... i don't know if he'll stay for long bc honestly i do want it to focus on amber and collei but i think it'd be fun for him to at least make an appearance or sm yk!! the narrative there could be so compelling.

Favorite relationship:

........................okay yeah obv it's amber and collei aksjbdkbsdja BUT. her and cyno are a close second :]

Favorite headcanon:

SNAKE MOMENT. i have a moment in my wt spin off au where she tends to a snake in spite of a phobia of them and it's representative of her first step towards healing AND her caring for her younger self even if she's still wrapped in so much hatred of her. also trans (she/her) lesbian.

Xiao:

First impression:

he's so sad :(( i want him please come home.... he has so so much heart and he doesn't even know it because of his own grief and guilt and objectification of himself :(( he's bruce-coded FUCK.

Impression now:

MAKES ME VIOLENT. i love him so so bad i miss him all the time. his story is soooo entangled with grief and acceptance and every little step he takes reflects that. he's such a fun character bc it's kinda a study on what comes after the tragic hero's story yk? except the tragedy is in part because he lives! he feels so so much and has such a big hear tbut denies it any priority bc it's easier not to. :((

Favorite moment:

PERILOUSWS TRAILS CUTSCNEe......... MY GOD. DERA GHODDD. FUCK. it makes me so so sick in the head that entire quest. xiao so readily sacrificing himself for the others because it's his duty to and because its what all his loved ones did. him closing his eyes and accepting it and finding comfort in the fact that he knows what happened to bosacius and that he's following his footsteps. him being saved and being surprised but That being such a key moment to his grieving process. also the poem from the waterborne poetry event :'') (aka the only part of that event that matters). it referencing all of the yakshas :'''''') and talking of him missing them

Idea for a story:

i don't have an actual story w xiao in mind... i would loooove to see another story quest w him and the other adepti though :''') i wanna see him in the past so so bad :C

Favorite relationship:

him and zhongli! :] they're both characters whos stories are about grief but both have different timelines to it and i think that's so so interesting especially when you remember how zhongli showed no emotion during the archon war and how his depart from his duty was his final stage of grief (acceptance) whereas xiao plunged himself into duty and emotional repression as a means to cope with all the grief and guilt and pain that he feels.

Favorite headcanon:

i think the wangshu inn staff gives him li xi sometimes and he's just like "i am literally older than you please stop i have no need for this" but he keeps it anyways. they have a small room saved for him at all times just in case he ever wants it (he never takes it but he appreciates it). <- its small bc he'd die if it was an open space.

[another-dra-anew]

scuttles. if ur still doing the ask meme. kurokawa (annie)

kurokawa!!! i totally didn’t fill out everything except the last bullet point and then forget i was working on this for like a week. ☺️

-My identity hc for them

i hc’ed her as lesbian specifically for a v long time, but bi kurokawa has been speaking to me recently ? bisexual homoromantic may b,, split attraction model my beloved. but who really knows!! my thoughts will prolly change again. 

and i don’t really think much abt her gender identity! she prolly ids as like.. a girlie pop. that’s what she’d say if u asked her. some characters are canonically cis some canonically trans some of them i have opinions on but it’s not smthn like. “canon” per se. and some i just have zero thoughts whatsoever kurokawa is in that last category

- Thoughts on their home life/family

neeeed to rewrite the motive scene in ch1 so bad. uhmmm. ya know. i think kurokawas love of streaming/social media/etc stemmed from like….. wanting to have fwends and that not really being an option for her ? she was v well loved and v well taken care of but like… having a bunch of besties who she could go have sleepovers with and stuff was never a feasible thing… so i think like. having a fanbase is vv much so a comfort thing. can’t have friends over to do their makeup but can do her own makeup while chatting with people. can’t bake for friends but can share recipes/demonstrate them and see people post their recreations. not really about her family, but it’s a bit of a home life detail! 

  - How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

i like how she’s written and handled! i actually reaaaally like what happens with her narratively for reasons i cant explain yet. buuut yea i like her she’s fun! even if her writing kinda shows how old beta is (ie was written before we had proper dra translations). “but wait couldn’t u just rewrite her personality now we know mikakos true behavior” consider: i don’t want to !!!! i wuv her she’s staying. i’ve gently changed things but just… shhh. it’s fine. <3

- The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

despite being in the… sunny and sociable archetype (i will NOT spoil… (<- trying to keep myself in check) but hopefully smthn that’s come across is how like. a big message rn is how important being besties is to preventing murders), kurokawa is like. zero help to keeping people hopeful and not wanting to murder one another in a kg setting. personality =/= how good u are at connecting with people. shes not going to actively make things worse like Some People, but simply having a cheerful nature will noooot help people stay happy and if anything can result in further isolation. it’s a matter of how u interact with others- there’s people who are more negative/pessimistic but they do better to increase the odds of the group being calm than kurokawa does.

and this is nothing against her as a character or a person!! it’s just a matter of how beta is written, and also how she’s written and handled, that i wish was more apparent. i think it’s a fun insight on her personality and who she is. she’s not consciously trying to be, like…… she’d love it if she could be uplifting and a source of hope! but she just Doesn’t form those bonds with people immediately. tsuzuna have very specific approaches and are very Conscious of how they interact with others, and kurokawa just doesn’t have theee… knowledge/skill/experience. because she’s not used to long term emotional crisis management!!!

- My number one favorite ship for them

…y’all remember kobashikawas ask meme fill? i should say kuronori logically they’re The moment. but my brain rn is saying tomori/kurokawa…..

- …Now everyone else i ship with them

she’s v shippable!! again my hcs change often but rn she’s actually one of the characters i can see w/classmates of the opposite gender. woah. that in mind tho, i only really actively ship her with the other members of the kuronorimakitomo polycule, but i also think she’d be cute dating tomori and iranami (downsizing the polycule…. if kurokawa and tomori are with iranami, does that mean inori and maki are with hatano? hm..)!! i think she’d also kinda be 👀? at taira when they first met, but after getting to know her a bit better kurokawas like “oh !” and side steps away. she doesn’t like tais energy.

- The thing i will NEVER ship

. do i need to say it. 

- a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

the fact kurokawa was like. kobashikawa should come with us to the exorcism cuz he investigated the store!!!! despite. literally investigating the store with him is really funny to me. underrated moment girlie what was ur reasoning there!!! also she didn’t even invite ōtori. it’s so silly to me, so i have to say kurokawa and kobashikawa- OH though!! i do also like her and uehara. canon answer for dra in general, to put them together. but i think they’re silly!! overall just the maedas exorcism gang!

- thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

!!! i like her design a lot actually! constantly changing little details, but the general concept of purple jacket, black t-shirt, black shorts, then socks and sneakers, is always the same, and i always like it!! it’s a bit more plain, but it allows for little details to be added (shoes w/hand drawn details, custom made jacket), which are cute and add to her character! liiike, kurokawa and uehara both have custom shoes and jackets, but they came about them, and stylized them in v different ways, and so it says smthn different while still being the same sort of concept. buuuut anyways!! she’s cute and i wuv her fit <3!! 

- A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

maybe a weird thing to point out as a niche?  but i think she listens to a lot of kpop girl groups…. fun time to mention that i cannot imagine her on twitter i think she has one for like. her brand ? which is very inactive. i don’t think she’s one where the music like……. ✨speaks✨ to her i think she’s a casual enjoyer of the things she likes!

[grasslandgirl]

im not even looking at the questions so heres a surprise mix for you: 11, 18, 32, 39, 1, and 4 have fun bestie

i love u i love u i love u

1. Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely?

truly wholeheartedly wish i had the energy and the motivation to rework my av tatbilb au. [you gonna break my heart, sammy?] i loved the concept and spent six months hammering away at it and by the end i was just tired of it and wanted it to be done, and i feel like the ending is rushed and hollow because of it. it was the longest thing i'd ever written or posted at the time- over three years ago, now- and while im really proud of the fact that i planned it out and wrote it and actually finished it, i do think i could and can do it better. spend more time fleshing it out, make it feel less like a trite reworking of the original, dont rush the get together at the end, etc.

idk if i ever will. but maybe some day

4. Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them?

:)) well. it depends on how you define oc's, but they're pretty close.

and yes ive written SO many stories for them, there's so much lore and extended universes and multiverses.... god. insane. shout out to dnau's. if you know you know etc

11. Three tropes that are fine but overrated.

oooh uh. hm. idk if it's a trope, necessarily, but like supernatural creature/ mermaid au's aren't really my jam- especially when those aren't themes or elements in the canon material, it just always feels so jarring and its hard for me to acclimate to enough to suspend my disbelief

a more traditional trope, i HATE the shotgun proposal trope at the end of a story/movie, especially when they havent been together longer than a year- they should NOT be getting married it will NOT stop their problems

uh also in fic im wary of kid fics, if only bc most people who write kid fics do NOT know how to write children and will write the most intelligent eloquent four year old in the world like. dude. talk to children before you make them central in ur fic. sorry.

18. First, second, or third person?

third, primarily. but given the right circumstances and personal heaspace ive been known to dabble in first and second.

32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?

i'm always a sucker for the classic italicized Oh. moment, personally [insert essay about breath in the narrative and how impactful giving your characters AND your readers moments to breathe within the story can be]

but i also really enjoy a- to quote casey, who reads and edits a vast majority of my writing bc she's wonderful- "one sentence paragraph" i think it can be a really fun and a really impactful kind of narrative punch moment and can spice up the rhythm of your writing

as for like specific expressions that i use or over use, im sure i have them i just can't think of any off the top of my head- i write how i talk a lot, so i know a lot of my sav-isms and style of speech leaks into my writing but idk if im self aware enough to notice the explicit patterns yet (if you have noticed patterns/repeated phrases, please let me know!! id love to hear them svkjnsfk)

39. Wildest AU scenario you have written?

this is an impossible question skjfvnskfjvns ive written SO many au's for so many CRAZY concepts that like. the scale of which is the wildest is purely subjective, and im not the one to ask bc i wrote all of them skfjvnskfjv

ive also got a TON of unused crazy au ideas in my docs/ idea lists that i haven't used or written yet so like.... comparatively the ones i HAVE published are pretty tame skjvnksfj

all that said. my eldonado fic Happiest is insane just bc of the sheer self indulgence of it, i wrote them doing a play i did in highschool, and i gave sam the role that i played. can you say #projection ?

ty ty ty ty jamie- for someone who picked a bunch of random numbers you really happened to pick a bunch of questions that are really relevant to us skjvnskfjvnsf

send me writers asks from this list!!

[hearttstopper]

“i have a lot of thoughts about this too especially with the whole watermelon sugar/nameless thing” pls miss britt share ur thoughts id love to hear them

This got so long. I’m really sorry. My thoughts about HS2/In Watermelon Sugar/a bunch of other random stuff under the cut.

These are all thoughts that are only vaguely connected, and stuff that I’m sure has been said a hundred times before mixed with a ton of my own personal conjecture, so please bear that in mind… This is just like total rambling from me. 

But I have been fascinated with Harry’s connections to In Watermelon Sugar since we first heard the stupid rumors about the song. Especially the quote from the book about the narrator’s name. That quote got me thinking about how when it comes to Harry, tons of people only see what they want to see based on whatever ‘version’ of Harry is most appealing to them.

Read these quotes from the book with that in mind:

My Name

“I guess you are kind of curious as to who I am, but I am one of those who do not have a regular name. My name depends on you. Just call me whatever is in your mind.

If you are thinking about something that happened a long time ago: Somebody asked you a question and you did not know the answer.

That is my name.

Perhaps it was raining very hard.

That is my name.

Or somebody wanted you to do something. You did it. Then they told you what you did was wrong—“Sorry for the mistake,”—and you had to do something else.

That is my name.

Perhaps it was a game you played when you were a child or something that came idly into your mind when you were old and sitting in a chair near the window.

That is my name.

Or you walked someplace. There were flowers all around.

That is my name.

Perhaps you stared into a river. There was something near you who loved you. They were about to touch you. You could feel this before it happened. Then it happened.

That is my name.”

and:

“My Name. I do not have a regular name. I am a mystery to you. I wished Margaret would leave me alone…”

— Richard Brautigan, In Watermelon Sugar

The narrator of In Watermelon Sugar isn’t just a nameless figure, he actually invites the reader to give him whatever name they find most fitting for him. A positive connotation, a negative one, a nonsensical one… whatever you, the reader, decides. And that feels like a very apt description of Harry and the various ways fans have perceived him from the very beginning… by now, so many people have projected so many different images onto Harry that over time it has completely blurred all lines as to who Harry actually is. 

Here’s a review I found of the book that summarizes the world within In Watermelon Sugar better than I can (as well as somehow still aligning perfectly with the concept of struggling with fame and identity, etc): “Much of the sense of disparity in [in Watermelon Sugar] results from the incongruity inherent in the person of the narrator, who insists that everything in iDEATH is exactly as it should be—the people gentle, pleasant, and tolerant. Despite the narrator’s insistence that iDEATH is a stable Utopia, however, many of the things that happen are fraught with pain and violence. Balancing the easygoing and vegetarian people with their light chores and flower-filled parades are the man-eating tigers, the burning of the mutilated corpses of inBOIL and his gang, Margaret’s suicide, and the emptiness felt by the narrator but never named.” 

So essentially within In Watermelon Sugar, we’re shown that in the surrealist, post-apocalyptic setting of iDeath, things are only perfect on a surface level. Everyone in this world appears to be happy (or at least, they should be), but a closer look reveals the true nature of iDeath: it’s beyond grim. And so despite the happy, shiny surface, being a part of that happy, peaceful commune is unable to cure the narrator of the inexplicable emptiness he feels inside of him. (‘All the lights couldn’t put out the dark running through my heart.’ ‘Having sex and being sad.’)

The sadness that Harry has already admitted is very prevalent in HS2 has already been implied to be about a ‘breakup,’ but it’s clear to me that Lights Up is anything but a breakup song… (“[Lights Up is about] freedom, self-reflection, self-discovery, things that I had thought about and wrestled with…” + “For me, it’s a very uplifting song. In some places, it’s kind of dark, but to me, it’s like, very liberating. I think, you know, over the past couple of years… It’s about self-reflection, and freedom. It feels very free to me, which is I guess things that I’ve been trying to process… I guess, kinda wrestled with a little over the last couple of years. It’s kinda like, about accepting all of those things.”)

His sadness/whatever emotions and problems he’s been wrestling with have seemingly spanned the course of a few years, and are very personal to him… which is why I feel that releasing Lights Up as the first single sets the tone for the rest of his album centering around his own identity. The line “Lights up and they know who you are, know who you are… Do you know who you are?” poses the question - who is Harry? - and then, “Shine! Step into the light… Shine! So bright sometimes. Shine! I’m not ever going back.” shows us Harry having the strength and bravery to overcome his fears (stepping into the light, although it’s ‘so bright sometimes’ - overwhelming) and reclaim/express his own misunderstood identity.

A lot of people have been trying to tie the In Watermelon Sugar thing back to someone else, but at this point I completely disagree. Not only have we seen him make literary references in the past (the Charles Bukowski reference in Woman), but… given everything that he’s said about Lights Up so far – which was surprisingly a lot – I think that Harry genuinely just took a lot of inspiration from the book because it seemed to hit close to home with his own feelings about self-acceptance and living an authentic life within the public eye. 

I think a lot about the scene we’ve yet to see from the directors cut - a room full of many different iterations of Harry.

“My name depends on you… Just call me whatever is in your mind.” 

Which leads me back to more total conjecture on my end, but I think that when Harry initially set out on tour / kicked off his solo career, he seemed determined to continue performing within the safety of the walls that had been built around him, so to speak. In one of the interviews he did earlier, he talked about tackling his first album from the perspective of ‘bowling with the bumpers up’ - he wanted to play it safe. He didn’t want to veer too far out of his own comfort zone and fuck it all up… and in doing so, he seemed to hold himself back quite a lot. “I wanted to see if people would enjoy an album without knowing everything about me.” 

I think that heading into writing with that mindset explains songs like ‘Complicated Freak’ and ‘Medicine’ being scrapped and excluded from being released on HS1. In retrospect, all of his tour - and especially Medicine - seem a lot like Harry dipping his toes in the water. Being totally presumptuous again, but I find it likely that Harry has had it ingrained in his mind for a long time that he needs to fit certain molds and keep certain narratives alive in order to continue to be successful. And I imagine that this idea is not his own, but instead something that has been hammered into his head over and over from a young age. And I would guess that a lot of anxiety and doubt has stemmed from that - go back and watch that shaky first performance of Medicine and tell me what you think he was likely feeling in that moment. But again, it circles right back to the strength and bravery of doing what he knows needs to be done to expel all of the darkness inside of him - stepping into the light. (“Never going back now / Be so sweet if things just stayed the same.” It’d be so sweet if he could live in that fantasyland forever.)

Anyway. I really don’t think Harry was at all prepared for just how many people would show up to support him in that sense… but his own community just rolled up in droves, bringing a total outpouring of love for him every single night. He had entire arenas lit up in rainbows, people bringing hilarious and heartfelt signs, flags after flags after flags after flags… all in celebration of him and the feelings of safety, strength, and bravery that he has continuously imparted back onto his fans. It was such a queer lovefest that even other artists likened his tour to “pride parades every night.” That’s so unbelievably powerful? I can’t think of any other artist who’s crowds do that for them… not even gay icons like Elton John? I still maintain that one of the most incredible things to have come out of HSLOT was the safe spaces he + his fans created for one another. It meant a lot to us, and it clearly meant a lot to him:

“The tour, that affected me deeply. It really changed me emotionally. Having people come to sing the songs… For me, the tour was the biggest thing in terms of being more accepting of myself, I think. I kept thinking, “Oh, wow. They really want me to be myself. And be out and do it.” That’s the thing I’m most thankful for, of touring. I feel like the fans in the room — it’s this environment where people come to feel like they can be themselves. There’s nothing that makes me feel more myself than to be in this whole room of people. It made me realize people want to see me experiment and have fun. Nobody wants to see you fake it.” 

I think that going on tour, and seeing the reaction and the acceptance of his audience, definitely made him want to take the bumpers down… to ‘be out and do it’ because ‘nobody wants to see him fake it.’ It seemed to help him massively in terms of his own ‘self acceptance and the things he’s been wrestling with’ and to make an incredibly, incredibly long winded answer short, it’s why I STILL do not think that releasing Lights Up on National Coming Out Day was in any way incidental. I think that was a big part of what Harry meant when he said that no one wanted to see him ‘faking’ things.

And… that’s basically it, I think, for now. I’ve just been sitting here nodding along at everything he’s been showing us the last few weeks… Impressed by the direction that he seems to be heading. And taking notes. I’ll go ahead and shut up now because I KNOW it’s still too early to draw definite conclusions on his intent for this new ‘era’ (and this new song could be about choking on literal fucking watermelon seeds for all I know, nothing Harry does ever makes any kind of sense does it), but I can’t help but come to my own conclusions based on what I feel he is sharing with us.

[wormmomma]

tyler, the creator: the very queer discography review!!!

Im bored of writing overly long threads on twitter so i wrote a look at tyler the creators discography and why hes gay and im gay and deserved to have his dick immortalized in gold when he dies. So tyler gregory okanma is a black man born in ladera heights california. He’s also my third favorite rapper and since he discovered my favorite rapper earl sweatshirt I guess he deserves goat status for that shit too. Tyler started his career around 17 years old as the ace the creator. He did features at the time with casey veggies and the inspirations in his flow to mf doom where already apparent even back then. From ace the creator mixtape you can already hear the very digital and jazz inspired pharrell production. Funny story if you look up any of his ace stuff now you'll mostly find some really old production that in the age of tyler the creator type beats doesn't really hold u all that great. From there Tyler went on to create odd futures and his first album bastard. He quite quickly followed up bastard with godlin. Goblin, bastard, and the OF tape vol.1 all feel pretty interconnected so im gonna speed round from worst to best. So odd future tape volume one is fun and punk and really crass, it's also completely eclipsed by odd futures other releases. I love odd future and the collective's ability too be both edgy teen skate rap garbage, and a risky artistic rap collective all at the same time. In odd future's first tape it seems pretty clear that tylers description of the groups early work as a bunch of niggas joking around in a studio is very apparent for better or worse. If you wanna get high with some friends can listen to some funny edgy and downright grimey tracks over left brains booking production skip this and listen to odd future's next mixtape but come back here to listen to some funny skits and a few proto mellowhype track with domo genesis. Goblin is Tyler's attempt to do a bigger darker more sprawling version of bastard but misses the mark. I like the album and I love singles on the album. Goblin the opening track is amazing and is a great look at tylers mental state attempting to live up to his newfound fame and anxiety about his infamy. I love yonkers and tron cat. Tyler says alot at this time that he doesn't make horrorcore and he's correct but the lack of emotional honesty and his immature deflections is really going off on all cylinders. If you dont wanna hear skits like “my bitch suck dick” and lines like “im not homophobic faggot” i would probably call it his worst album. Before i talk about bastard id like to go over his use of slurs and rape in his work. Tylers consistent lyrics about violence towards women and use of the lgbtq community really don't insult me. I feel like his lyrical content is filled with a clear look of how angry and insecure tyler was about not having a father or any way of processing his angst. Did he have to sound like a incel threatening to stalk and murder women who refuse to love him for over 3 albums? No, but i really enjoy looking at his early music. He doesn't shy away from how angry, sad and desperate he was at the time. That synthesis of need for fatherly love, anger from a lack of it and deteriorating mental state honestly makes the content more palatable. Also as a black trans women id rather hear tranny an faggot bars from a male rapper making intreeating music. Tyler at the time was being honest, angry and vulnerable not like eminem and action bronson who spit these bars with all the same rap bravado and violent anger toward women with zero pathos. Bastard is amazing, it's an intimate dark album. At the time it felt like it was tapping right into where I was at the time. The amount of mental anguish on bastards opening track really hit me. I was an angry kid with a lot of angst and bipolar disease so hearing a rapper yell about that same dysfunction really meant alot to me. The flows are amazing and it was a really good look at tylers ability to build a narrative. Wolf was tyler's next album. For a while wolf was my favorite album by tyler. His look at relationships and breakups on bimmer and ifhy are amazing and are expanded on his future releases. Find your wings and treehome are also a good look at his more melodic influence. It was such a good album I actually bought the mrech for and went to see Tyler at afropunk. Also hearing an entire song about the death of his grandma really hit me, my grandfather died around the same time. Cherry bomb was bad, now moving one. Ok im  joking i've listened to it two or three times but its really not worth going back to even though tyler put his all into it. The soul features and amazing production is worth listening to but even Tyler admits he rushed the album a little and that he needed to blow people away next time. Flower boy, is one of the most important albums in hip hop. That's it. Bar none. It was my favorite release of 2018. Flower boy is about tylers newfound isolation with his fame, and how he drives cars by himself in beautiful la vistas. Its also about how he’s gay (or bisexual). There are ALOT of stupid takes on this album. There is a contingency of tyler stans that think tyler has been “playing a character” since bastard. Now I'll admit that wolf haley and dr.teecee are clearly characters; they are also artists' representations of tyler's mental state. If wolf haley has adhd and no father that means tyler also has those issues. So whether or not Tyler is playing a character he has in fact “been kissing white boys since 2004”. I also have seen an insipid article that asks if “tyler the creator should be accepted into the lgbtq community” due to his homophobia? Much more controversial and actually homophobic and transphobic people are in this community hes tyler the creator, not milo yinnaoplous. I also dont think that it occurs to the reviewer that alot of gay men are very hmophobic before they come out and that self hate is very common. Lyrics like “im not gay i just wanna dance to some marvin” also has a much deeper context now. Listening to older releases you can see how in your face tyler was about his queerness. He even said he filmed himself kissing his friend Lucas to prove he wasn't a homophobe. I'm happy Tyler grew enough to make an album not only about being attracted to men but how lonely he felt in and out of the closet. As someone who came out as bisexual at the time it came at a perfect time. Being  gay is isolating and confusing and when you do you lose alot of friends and family. Garden shed, who dat boy, and 911 are real standouts. His collaboration with kali uchis was also so fucking smooth and she a born r&b star. Tyler gained a grammy nomination off the album and said he loved the feeling of finally making popular catchy music people wanna sing the lyrics too, so he followed it with igor. Igor opens with this addendum on the back of the physical album: 

This might be fiction, this might be about igor but it is fully about tyler okanga. The album is very hard to parse and barely has any rapping. It's more of a pop experimental album with a lot of lofi synth production. Tylers production chops are full force here. Igor is melodic, sad and full of the same anger and obsession from his previous albums. Its just more mature and really gay, and i fucking love it. Tyler was dealing with a tumultuous relationship with a guy and his refusal to be with tyler exclusively. Its about a breakup. A love tragedy that only becomes more depressing after the argument on a boy is a gun, the breakup in my love is gone, and the sad slump back into needing closure in can we be friends. The album is fun to sing to, and fucking devestating. I've dealt with a lot of similar issues with love and obsession so to hear it so clearly illustrated on igor really hit me. I think the album becomes even more depressing with the unreleased track best interest, about tyler being a side nigga. This is the kind of music that's sometimes made in r&b and pop but never in rap. There was an interview where Tyler says he hated his voice which is why he edits it so evident on igor. Tyler also said he wanted to send these songs to rihanna and Justin Beiber but they didn't want them, as cool as it sounds. I'm happy tyler was able to tell his own story. I would also recommend magic wand since it's my favorite track on the album and kicks you in the face with how angry and heartbroken Tyler was at the time. 

Tyler is an artist that talks and speaks about how he feels all the time, he's also a person who feels enigmatic and mysterious somehow. I think it has to do with how constantly he's put to the side of his other hip hop contemporaries. He always seems to be making music Tom weird, controversial and experimental to be treated like asap rocky, vince staples, or the late mac miller. A fact that feels ironic since he worked with all of those artists, lil wayne, and even kanye west. I'm as big a stan for tyler as he is for Pharrell, if it wherent forever I'd never take rap seriously and would never have chosen to make my own music. As a black trans woman I find a lot of tylers work really relatable. I've been in alot of the angry hopeless situations Tyler talks about in his music. I think he's the artist who hits me the most on a personal level and yeah when i was depressed i sat in my bedroom and listened to bastard in my low moments. I like riding in the car and listening to all of flowerboy. Igor is amazing as well for almost half a decade it's been amazing growing up and hitting the same emotional beats Tyler went through5 in his work. Hearing about him coming out as gay ajd dealing with very similar backlash mad me feel less alone if im being honest. Tyler has said he wants to take a more production heavy role in the industry moving forward but he says that a lot, i think as long as he has a story to tell he's always going to make music. His music feels like a diary and I'm happy to read it and sonnet to it in all its beauty and ugliness. 

Hi my name is lua o'reilly i make music on soundcloud.com/wormmother

If you liked this review let me know and I'll do a look into earl sweatshirt.

[roxannepolice]

Long asks anon again, here to offer my opinion on the current wank. Rey as a character is rather blatantly breaking sw story rules and nothing is going to get SFF fans hackles up like rule breakage. This is root of both the MarySue accusations and current wank. Rey has a tragic backstory thats doubling as the only failure she can call her own. But its a) damn near entirely offscreen and b) serves as convenient justification for why shes competent at near everything that comes up.

Reys instantly good at the force because of a convenient force download that to the best of my knowledge only occured in the noncanon KOTOR II and quite frankly cant blame most of the general audience for not getting because without prior knowledge or the novelizations why would they? She has darkness in her but as so far used and touched it consequence free and its almost entirely symbolically externalized on the Kylo (and in SW symbolism is Real in a way it isnt in other narratives) Shes strong in the force because Light rises to meet Dark but to quote the current crop of movies ‘thats not how the force works) or at least thats never how it worked before. Shes the first SW protagonist to go behind enemy lines and come out with both hands in the second movie. For ppl wondering how come Luke and Ani never get labeled MarySues, this is why, they got thier asses handed to them, Rey hasnt. There /is/ something /off/ in Reys story, and ppl pick up on it. if you can make a post (w/ over 1k notes!) about how great it is that a character meant to prop up 7hrs worth of movies has little to no character development to go through, somethings off. If multiple ppl can make posts about how its neat Rey can tap into the darkside (still characterized as evil in ST) consequence free (with some quite frankly stupid justifications, 'shes disciplined’ really? jedi lacked a lot of things thats not one of them) somethings off and again, if the only failure your main heroine has is /entirely retroactive something’s off/. If the story were getting with the is the story most ppl think we are, a 'female empowerment’ (i dont feel particularly empowered by being told I have an equal chance at being a deus ex machina but ok) than well, her story is over and theres no need for IX (hell it could have been over in TFA, most ppl assumed she had accepted her place as the future jedi in that one) and no need for reylo The ST was always gonna deconstruct all that came before it purely by virtue of being a sequel. The tragedy of anakin skywalker is now a farce, the happy ot ending now a tragedy, and the mythopoetic structure shot to shit in the name of serialization and perpetual warfare. this stand true for all the sequel characters including rey and ben. the only question is are we going to get anything out of it? I compare it to home renovation. You can knock out a wall and the walls gone, but new opportunities arise. With Benlo, I’m reasonably confident that there will be at least some attempt to take advantage of the new space. With rey and the resistance kids? not so much. it just feels like they knocked down a blue wall to rebuild it as pink one and at the point it just feels like a waste of time because ive seen this before. Ive seen pure cinnamon roll desert orphan reform jedi order If this was all youre going to do that the fuck was the point? which circles around to my problem with team good guy this go around and That Scene. JJ twisted the story into a pretzel to justify the winners of the last round being the underdogs again and then rian twisted so much further the storys head may as well be up its own ass. And then at the very end he shoots it all to shit and rushes to reassure us its all gonna be okay. He removes the entire point of the underdog trope /the tension that comes from the fact that they might lose/. I mean there wasnt a whole lot of that to begin with already but really? So theres no tension that Reys gonna win so her journey feels frictionless, and theres no question where shes gonna end up so full offense why give a shit? Thats where the whole 'can rey lose a fight?’ thing comes from. Ppl want conflict in her arc to justify its existence and give us a reason why this her story to begin with. if the only character going through growth for all three movies is ben, if the only characters whos fate is up in the air is ben, and if all the tension in the reylo relationship comes from ben, then why is this /reys story/? why not just make it about the character actually driving all the drama and thus, the story?   As a final thought, im going to add that having Kylo be aware and insecure that hes never gonna be as Iconic as Vader was a great story choice, regardless of where ends up. Current Rebels, on the other hand, seems to have not gotten the memo that they are never gonna be as iconic as Original Rebels, and the story itself seems to being trying to sell them to me as being better. Rey is Luke but better, Poe/Finn are Han wo the smuggler grit, and id be lying if i said it didnt piss me off.

&

Long asks anon to kick down ur door again, AND ANOTHER THING. SW is a lotta things. Subtle aint one of them, and St hasnt changed in that regard. If you have to debate it chances are either a) ur arguing counter to the text in which case mor power to you but not really helpful for predictions or intended meaning or b) /it aint there. A bunch of ppl didnt like anidala, but nobody doubted we were supposed to think they were in love by the end of AOTC, bunch of ppl didnt like poes arc, but no one doubts he fucked up by not listening to holdo was the intended take away. Which brings to rey and flaws or lack there of. Were told rey has flaws but she has yet to suffer any real consequences from them with the exception of The Damn Parentage Wank, which again, pulls the double duty of making her hyper competent at everything. Because rey has no consequences for her flaws, from a story function pov there aren’t any. If rey did have a flaw to overcome, we would all agree what it was

Now won’t you all just look at this beautiful, spot on rant which has been lagging in my askbox since the last time Rey’s flaws or lack thereof were the discourse’s focus (November, I believe?) and suddenly became a thing again, courtesy of Tweetgate. I think you really summed up the crux of this debate wonderfully, anon.

I particularly agree with the part about Rey not getting narratively punished for whatever flaws we’d like her to have (great point about returning from behind the enemy lines with both arms still in place), when SW don’t stay away from allowing characters to get “punished” even for otherwise applaudable features - vide Padmé, whose idealism is what Palps manipulates into gaining more power (this is why Padmé will never come off as a Mary Sue or too perfect, btw). But I’ll say even more - Rey doesn’t even get called out on her flaws, except for by Ben, who’s mostly dismissed as a baddie like Palpatine saying Luke was foolish to rely on his friends. Let’s just consider one thing - both Anakin and Luke get called out on their flaws by Yoda (Anakin repeatedly and by lots of other people for that matter) whereas with Rey, the same grumpy-yet-jolly senex pops up from the afterlife to further inform us what a great jedi material she is.

TBH, I have a very cynical theory as to why Rey is being pushed as the main character while it’s difficult to deny that it’s Kylo Ben who does all the plot heavy lifting. I’m pretty sure Ben’s arc was the first one DLF thought out (and the big question is, was it the only one they thought out) and only later on decided to make Rey the main character, which also involved much less spontaneous writing. Mind you, it’s not as if benepemption didn’t have a manufactured subtaste to it, but with Rey’s heroine’s journey stiff structure occasionally substitutes any in-world explanations of her actions (this is why I have to hope renperor has some narrative purpose rather than happening because lovers need to be separated and anti-hero needs to achieve what he wanted in 2nd act). I feel as if whatever potential her character had (and hopefully still has, pending IX) got smothered by layer upon layer of making her likable by everyone, which largely relied on negative characterization: she’s not helpless, she’s not too naive, not cynical, not too emotional, not too emotionless, not morally corruptible, not anything you’ve ever complained about regarding any SW character, not falling for the bad boy, not not not - and in the end it’s kinda difficult to say what Rey is like and while the goal of making her widely likable was achieved, it also made it almost impossible to view her as loveably flawed/annoying like the classic characters. And on top of all this is the matter of making her a nobody just like you!, as DLF appears to say with uncle Sam’s gesture (which also kinda assumes the existence of a Star Wars fan as some uniform entity? because if you identify with her, good for you, I just don’t understand why the franchise assumes I’ll identify with her by the grace of being a SW fan alone), because, as you excellently put it, the message here is that everyone can be chosen by God - which again, it’s not as if the saga ever contradicted this, so why the hell make a case of it? I can’t agree that it’s made into Rey’s flaw, though, imo her low birth only serves to further frame her as an oppressed virtue. And I definitely agree regarding too much of her growth being left off-screen, or before the story ever begins. The problem here isn’t even that it is left off-screen (it’s not as if we had huge insight into any of the pt or ot characters) but rather that her characterizations is left off-screen while being depicted as at least untypical (unique to put it bluntly) for her situation (same goes for Finn). A hopeful, kind person growing up on her on her own in slavery under a nicer name is a rarity and DLF makes a case for it being a rarity - and this sparks up curiosity in her past, as if market pandering to Re/sky wasn’t enough. So from this pov her un-reveal being frustrating isn’t just a case of not wanting to love her or her self only a potentially deeper psychological question getting answered with well, light.

I should add, Ben’s arc feels like the most spontaneous one (though Finn’s may yet be a masterpiece) and he’s the one to admit his fear of not living up to Vader’s legacy, because I think he’s the character serving as the creators’ vessel, more or less like Luke was Lucas’ avatar in ot. In his fear regarding Vader’s legacy one can feel Disney’s fear due to having bought popculture’s holy grail and not being entirely sure what to do with it. On this background, Rey (a literal scavenger of OT’s pieces) and rebels 2.0 repeatedly blessed by Leia come off as what DLF would want to be. And the result is that the character which was supposed to be Vader 2.0 proves the most original and surprising one, whereas “breaths of fresh air” come off as room aromatizers with “fresh” written on them.

And as far as the plot being bended into a pretzel and then disappearing up it’s own ass, well, a part of me is still hoping that taking virtually the same villains as before is a mythological-psychoanalitical metaphor of a nigredo repeating itself until the unconscious gets accepted by the conscious…. but, tbh, as the leaks flow this hope is withering.

[arecomicsevengood]

BARGAIN BIN COMICS 1

Bought a bunch of comics from bargain bins relatively recently. Many of them are not very good, and I basically knew that going in. I want to write about them so the purchase feels less self-indulgent, but I also don’t want to work very hard on articulating my reactions or having a point.

Some of these comics cost $1, (or from a bin where 15 comics cost ten bucks, so let’s say 75 cents), some cost a quarter, some cost a dime. There is no shame in having a comic you made end up in a bargain bin. Everything in our culture is devalued, anything that exists eventually becomes garbage.

Anyway: Deathblow 1, with art by Jim Lee, and a Cybernary backup story with art by Nick Manabat. I missed the Image Comics explosion as a kid, which was happening right as I was getting into comics. It all seemed like it was for older kids than me. My brother loved Todd McFarlane and Spawn but he is nine years older than me, I was getting into Mark Bagley’s Spider-Man and Mike Parobeck’s Batman Adventures. I checked this out now though. Anyway, I know everyone says that the deal with early Image is there’s no story, it’s all pin-ups, but it’s insane how true this is. The Cybernary stuff is basically non-narrative, just total nonsense. I get how the art is cool though. There’s a plot summary in the Deathblow comic that does not describe the contents of the comic at all.

Savage Dragon 1. I have bought random issues of Savage Dragon from dollar bins before. Erik Larsen also, if I remember correctly, uploaded like five of his favorite issues to Myspace back in the day. One or two of those ruled. These aren’t total “no plot” comics, because there’s always just a basic level of sequential art happening, even if it’s just like… Following a main character until he meets some new characters, they fight a little bit, then become friends. There’s a level of purity I appreciate. Also, while everyone always describes the Image stuff as being like total teenage-boy id comics I feel like they don’t make male adolescents like this anymore. Or maybe the issue is I live in a city so the only teens I see are hip teens with cool parents. These children interact with their parents with a sort of freedom of boundaries I tend to interpret as “on the spectrum.” I’m going to digress in these write-ups and say some stuff that’s maybe offensive. One thing I didn’t do in the comic book store was hold up a Gerard Jones Green Lantern to the owner and say “Hey did you hear about how they’re not releasing this stuff digitally because the guy who wrote them is a pedophile?” but now that I’m home and online I’m going wild.

MCMLXXVI. or whatever it’s called. Written by Joe Casey, art by Ian MacEwan. This comic has, as a supporting character, a DJ who narrates the action and plays songs. A similar thing happens in an Alan Grant/Norm Breyfogle Detective Comics arc, but while that comic ends with the DJ doing cocaine and then getting in a car crash at the end of the three issues, this DJ dates the main character and gets killed by the villains in the second issue of three. It’s kind of a riff on The Warriors, but with a lady cab driver as the hero, and underground demon hell monsters provide her backstory. The covers, where MacEwan colors his own art, look better than the interiors. Kind of feel like there is too much story but not enough characterization or something, like the story’s incredibly simple but also needlessly cluttered.

Tom Strong 6 by Alan Moore and Chris Sprouse. I stopped buying Tom Strong with issue 5 but have since read it all in a former roommate’s trade paperbacks. Reading a random issue for cheap years after the fact is kind of the ideal experience though, it really is like a long-running TV drama you catch on basic cable. Chris Sprouse’s art is really exemplary of a type of style I associate with DC Comics from when I was growing up, maybe from the ubiquity of the ads for Legionnaires. It’s clean and bright. I guess the common perception of DC now is different from this, and is closer to what people think of when they think of as “nineties comics.” But Chris Sprouse, Stuart Immonen, Kevin Maguire, Cliff Chiang, Graham Nolan, all do this thing I think of that I find attractive and appealing.

Mother Panic, three issues drawn by John Paul Leon. I love John Paul Leon, his stuff’s not far off from what I’m talking about either, but damn these comics sucked! I paid ten cents apiece for them and they are so narratively thin that it really brings home that part of what makes this stuff work is it’s illustration-y quality that then feels super-unsatisfying when the story being illustrated just is garbage. It’s not like Cybernary or something where the visuals present such a strong aesthetic no narrative can contain it. It’s so dull that it’s less like pin-ups and more just like model sheets of character design for an animated series or something.

Batman: Gothan By Gaslight, with art by Mike Mignola and P. Craig Russell. I think this wasn’t technically in a bargain bin, but was a back issue marked down to a dollar because a store was going out of business. Anyway I hadn’t read it before. Good art, thin story but this was the first Elseworlds book and so was maybe more conceptually ambitious at the time than it reads after all the other Elseworlds stuff omnipresent when I was growing up reading DC comics. They had a year where every annual was an Elseworlds. Apparently in the animated movie to make the story more of a thing the twist is that James Gordon is Jack The Ripper, which seems like it defeats the whole point of having a Batman vs. Jack the Ripper comic. I guess the comic even predates From Hell. I really gotta award this comic a lot of extra points for feeling unable to judge it based on things that came after it.

Miracleman reprints of the Alan Moore stuff. I don’t like this comic at all. I basically knew that from reading scans fifteen years ago, but those weird Marvel reprints with the recoloring and including the original Mick Anglo strips were ten cents and I thought I might as well give it another look and yeah I don’t care for it. Mostly put off by the grim tone, but there’s also just a ton of other things that just make it a difficult read for me. Just putting that on the record.

Going to do more of these after I’ve read more of what I’ve bought.

[dstprl]

I am sure you have been on Social Media and seen an ad pop up for Peloton which is why I decided to write my Peloton Bike review.  First and foremost let me say when my husband started eyeing this bike around January of this year I was skeptical.

The considerations

For one, he already had a bike which he wasn’t using and when I looked at the price tag of the Peloton I was shocked to say the least.  Then he informed me there is a monthly $39 subscription you want to have because without it, the bike really won’t be used at full capacity.

After thinking about it and hearing my husband talk about it I agreed to getting one.  It arrived in March 2018 and I suspect, to get me to buy in even more, my husband bought me cycle shoes that clip into the Peloton pedals.

We did not purchase everything Peloton such as the water bottles, dumbbells, foam roller, earphones or shoes but we do have a few hoodies and t-shirts because they are cute.

[Tweet “Read all about my #Peloton bike experience and whether you should get one. #pelotonride #femmefitalefitclub”]

Price

I started off balking at the price of a Peloton bike which is around $2,300.  That is not easy for many to swallow but they do have payment plans which is a plus.  That price is only for the bike.  In order to enjoy the online Live and On-Demand classes you need the monthly subscription which is an additional $39.

As you can see it can add up.  Again, if you can move past the sticker shock they do have payment plans which can ease the cost burden on some.

Classes

There are hundreds upon hundreds of classes available with the subscription such as cycling (of course), running, and yoga to name a few.  I am extremely impressed with the amount of classes offered beyond just cycling.

Class durations vary from 5 minutes to 60 minutes and you can filter on them or also by:

class type,

instructor,

music genre or

category (hard, new, most popular, etc.)

Please note, all of the classes are not children friendly.  In certain classes the instructor may use profanity or the lyrics to the songs played aren’t the clean version.

If that isn’t your cup of tea, no problem, they have classes with all genres of music from Country to 80’s Pop to R&B.  Choose what you like, there’s a lot of variety so you are bound to find something you enjoy.

Community

One thing I like a lot about Peloton is the sense of community they provide on Social Media.  They have a private Peloton Page group for Peloton users and each instructor runs their own private group.

People share their personal records with each other, post tons of photos and are very helpful and encouraging when questions are asked by newbies such as myself.

The Peloton app

The app is where you access all the classes unless you have the Peloton Tread.  It allows you to build a profile and share the classes you completed to Social Media.  You can also follow friends there.

While I like and reciprocate a follow for a follow on the Peloton app there isn’t much else there when it comes to socializing.  BTW follow me at Diatta.  You can’t message each other but you can see how many rides or activities they completed and the amount of rewards they’ve collected.

The Peloton ride

The Peloton rides are HIGH ENERGY even the ones for beginners or low impact.  If you’re riding a live or on-demand class, you can virtually high five others who are participating in the class with you.  There’s a bunch of Live and On-Demand cycle classes to choose from as far back as 6 months so pick a class and enjoy yourself.

During the rides there are a lot of features as well such as viewing your heart rate, if you wear a monitor, viewing the artist and song title playing and the leadeboard.

The leaderboard is where you can see all those who ever took the ride, where you rank and who may be riding with you at the same time you are.  You can also see how their output compares to yours which, if you are competitive, can help you push beyond your comfort zone and hit a new PR.

Instructors

I can’t say enough about the Peloton instructors.  I have not even come CLOSE to taking them all because there are a handful which play the music I like so I tend to take their classes over and over but from Robin Arzon to Ally Love to Alex Toussaint you really can’t go wrong.

Some of the instructors also teach multiple disciplines such as cycle, boot camp and running.  I like the versatility of its instructor team.  Each instructor as their own unique style but I’ve found they all keep me interested and motivated during the workout.

All positive attitudes, all smiles and very attractive people, can’t go wrong there.  Many even shout you out on Social Media.

I’ll leave the Instagram names of the ones I follow below.  All you have to do is click on the photo and follow them.

💥 READY 💥 My everyday is just like yours…underneath it all lies all the hard work and effort to be ready when the time comes. I’m #RipReady with the #ZNE fit… how do you stay ready?👇🏽 #adidasathletics #createdwithadidas @adidas

A post shared by A l l y L o v e (@allymisslove) on Aug 30, 2018 at 7:54pm PDT

Ally Love @AllyMissLove

I’m out! 💃🏽 See you on Sept. 7 @onepeloton, Fam. Off to Burning Man. ✈️

A post shared by Robin Arzon (@robinnyc) on Aug 22, 2018 at 4:39pm PDT

Robin Arzon @RobinNYC

My superpower is inner fire. I ignite the 🔥 of transformation in myself & others, every 👏🏼damn 👏🏼 day!👏🏼 As the superheroes of our own narrative we must play out our purpose with the same conviction Superman has to justice & truth and Batman to protect Gotham. Your role here is that important! 🌟 SUPERHERO CHECKLIST: ✅ Define your life’s purpose & align EVERYTHING with it! ✅Refuse to listen to any inner or outer voice that says you can’t. ✅Gather a team & collaborate. ✅ Plan to always be uncomfortable. ✅ Be brave AF & lead with love, simultaneously. 💥 If u were a superhero, what would your power be? Why?

A post shared by Jessica King (@jesskingnyc) on Sep 3, 2018 at 10:57am PDT

Jess King @JessKingNYC

Feel Good. Look Good….Do Better!! #Vibecheck #Justdoit #NYC

A post shared by Alex T (@alextoussaint25) on Aug 18, 2018 at 3:48pm PDT

Alex Toussaint @AlexToussaint25

running into the holiday weekend ….. 💨💨💨 we work so hard to enjoy life! celebrate the extra day fam and treat yo’self 🌭🍔 @asics @iamwellandgood @wilhelminamodels #iamwellandgood

A post shared by Olivia Amato (@oamato) on Aug 31, 2018 at 5:48am PDT

Olivia Amato @OAmato

Quick question… What is your actual motivating factor? 💫 What I mean is, what is the root of your motivation? What is feeding your desire? Is it Soul or is it Ego? We say yes to so many things yet possibly never ask ourselves often, if ever, why? Why are we doing things that don’t always feel right or are what we need or want, or can afford just to keep up with the joneses. We say yes to dinners, coffees, meetings, trips, clothing, buying trendy items, moving, relationships, and of course exercise. If I took a poll asking you if they actually enjoy working out, would you say yes? If not, why do you workout? So, you lace up to run. 🏃🏼‍♀️ Why? Do you run to look better or because you actually love the feeling of running? That runners high, that accomplishment of completing a task, a claimed moment of your day that’s device-free 📲 and simply yours, a necessary mental break and “you time”, a treat for your body, a method to focus your competitive spirit, a way to spend time with friends? Is your choice to move initiated by positivity or by a feeling of negativity? When we choose to move because we hate our bodies we run the risk of disappointment in achieving a goal that is never good enough in our heads, never mind the fact that the entire time you spend getting to said point you’ve carried along a negative motivating factor with you into a positive space! How will you create love ❤️ where you bring hate? Both are green, just depends which grass gets watered. Let today be the day we change our approach to the things we do. Approach work, friendships, partnerships, and your personal relationship with yourself with love and see how fast you mind and world starts to change. When we do things that feed our soul instead of our ego the end is no longer in sight. The sacred relationship with yourself will begin to improve, fast…. be sweet to yourself, and don’t be afraid to find your truth. Dig deep and look for the reason you actually are doing the things you do. ______________________ #createthelove #truth #rksolid #motivation #tuesday #train #trainpeloton #traintuesday #transformationtuesday #transformation #abs #run #running #workout #ego #soul

A post shared by Rebecca Kennedy: RKsolid (@rksolidnyc) on Aug 28, 2018 at 5:47pm PDT

Rebecca Kennedy @RKSolidNYC

I feel that I’ve become more empathetic/understanding in my years spent in NYC. The truth is… the struggle is real… I don’t know anybody who hasn’t fallen flat on their face at least once here. I’m speaking from experience: when you fall flat on your face here, you don’t just fall, you get trampled over 10 times, kicked in the ribs, and then splashed with 20 buckets of icewater. “WAKE UP” she tells you! It takes a resilient, strong human being to peel themselves back up off the ground after, and find that hustle again. It takes a champion… My city is full of champions. BLESS you NEW YORK CITY. #newyork #hustle #champions

A post shared by Selena Samuela (@selenasamuela) on Aug 28, 2018 at 6:00am PDT

Selena Samuela @SelenaSamuela

When I started

When I first started on the Peloton bike I had trouble clipping in.  I struggled.  Hubby tried to coach me and I was trying my best but could not clip those shoes in to save my life.

He sort of had to half wear my shoe and clip them in for me and then I put them on while clipped in to the pedal.  I know I know but I’m much better now.

I also struggled clipping out.  A few times I just left the shoes clipped in and went on with my day because my legs were too tired to try and/or I was catching cramps.  OUCH!

After the first 4 rides, 4 days in a row my butt stayed sore even though my husband had a cushion on the seat.  It’s just the nature of the beast.  It gets better as I no longer get sore since I’m riding my regularly  now and I’m 24 rides in (woohoo) but my butt can get numb if I sit too long.

I remedy the problem by standing when that happens.

What kept me interested – FRIENDS

Once I found some of my friends actually owned Peloton, and we started following each other, we would schedule when we would take the same classes either live (which start early in the morning East Coast time) or on-demand (which are available all day long).

That made it very fun for me because we could see each other’s results and it felt like we were together even though we were states away.

They do have a neat feature where you can click on the person’s profile during the ride and click Live Video and actually see the other person riding LIVE.  I did that once with a friend who lives in North Carolina and it was very cool.

It was during a live class.  I thought that was very cool.

The other classes I’ve taken

Besides cycling, I’ve also taken the strength training and tread classes  which are very good.  The strength training tends to last about 10 minutes (at least those are the ones I chose) but they have longer classes.  I just never had time to do more or go longer.

  The tread classes

The tread classes are excellent and what got me back interested in Peloton to begin with.  I typically run on my own treadmill and mirror the class from my iPhone 7 to my Apple TV flat screen so I have the big screen and speaker experience.

Feels like I’m actually in the studio with them.

We do hills, sprint drills, combinations and all sorts of things which really keeps the heart rate up and the fat burning which is what I like.  They even have walking classes for those who need a recovery day or can’t handle all of the pounding from running.

I’ve tried a few of those and believe it or not, those are very challenging too.  As you can imagine they crank up the incline.

So far there hasn’t been 1 instructor or 1 class I didn’t enjoy.  I’ve gotten up and worked out completely tired and not feeling it but once I hear that peppy voice and motivating quotes and words…it’s on.  I fix my attitude and get into it.

What could be better

I honestly can say there aren’t any suggestions or recommendations I have for Peloton at this time to improve upon.  Granted I was having issue connecting my heart rate monitor but found out it was my error not theirs.

It’s a very innovative company and I look forward to some new products and services they come out with.

My rating

As if you could not tell, I give Peloton 10 out of 10 stars.  There are programs for every fitness level which I love, there are various types of programs by music genre and duration which offers up options for people who have the time or have limited time.

They’ve thought of everything.  The instructors are positive, attractive and motivating.  They also shout out people riding in the studio or at home during the live rides which I find extremely thoughtful.

I can’t thank my husband enough for having the vision and thought to purchase this awesome package of equipment and classes which has taken our at-home workout game to the next level.

I enjoy it very much, plan to ride more days on than off and highly recommend you research and consider getting one for yourself.

Perhaps we can ride virtually together in a live or on-demand class and push each other further.  To quote several of the instructors “You ain’t hustlin’ if you ain’t strugglin’”.  Let’s GO!

Are you interested in purchasing a Peloton?

Leave any questions you have that I haven’t answered in comments below.

My Peloton Bike Experience and Review I am sure you have been on Social Media and seen an ad pop up for Peloton which is why I decided to write my Peloton Bike review. 

[boomtown-adventures]

Boomtown: Chapter 9 - Behind the Mask

This is a journal of my adventures at the festival called Boomtown Fair; a record of the encounters I have had with the wonderful street theatre team at the festival which is all part of the underlying narrative of Boomtown. This is one of the many things that make the festival so special.

I was hoping to get this finished back in October but unfortunately ended up in hospital with a virus in my brain. It’s taken me quite a lot to be able to think clearly and write again. I fear some of the adventure is a bit blurry to me now but thankfully I made substantial notes including some recordings that I made onto my dictaphone so hopefully it’s reasonably accurate. Sorry for this being super long but a lot of stuff happened! Anyway, let’s get on with the story!

Previously at Boomtown Fair….

And now the continuation….

(*intro comic from Boomtown Fair Programme)

After a year in hiding following the fall of the regime, I returned once more to Boomtown for the annual fair. The effect of the loss of Central Administration was still very much palpable as we arrived at the city gates. Clamp downs by both the police and Bang-Hai Security coupled with the fair's popularity meant that our arrival was an ordeal to say the least. This  was not something that could not deter me or even any of the other loyal citizens of Boomtown however. People were returning to the town en masse under Bang-Hai Industries’ promise of a safer city.

Darkness had long since fallen as I wearily moved into my new home in Mayfair just off the Hippy Highway, halfway between the hospital and the Paris Heights Hotel. Mayfair had been the last remaining bastion of our regime during the revolution. Nowadays however the neighbourhood was apparently under the corporate influence of Bang-Hai Industries (BHi). My new carefully chosen digs came with one of the best views in the entire city and it’s very own picket fenced front yard. The view from the front porch stretched all the way out across Downtown, with the brand new Bang-Hai Towers lit up and dominating the skyline. As I settled down for the night I marveled at the sight and lay down to dream of what would await me in the morning as I explored the sights and sounds of what BHi had brought with them.

Friday

I awoke on the Friday morning still feeling the great tiredness from the past few weeks of hard graft which had helped pay for my journey back to Boomtown. I freshened up, having still been in a state from the grueling journey here and headed over to Trenchtown, grabbing a large coconut smoothie along the way.

I settled down on the grass slopes in time to watch Toots & the Maytals open the 2018 Fair at the Lion’s Den Temple. This performance would include one of three renditions of Monkey Man that I would witness performed across the weekend. It was a great and energetic start to the weekend and already the hassles of the day before began to float away on the wind.

As the audience broke into its final applause I sat on the side of the hill watching the crowds and pondered the situation, I was back in Boomtown but I needed direction. Without a Central Administration or military and with our glorious leader Comrade José missing I found myself without place or position. During a quick scout on the way over to Trenchtown it had seemed there was no sign of Charlie Brown’s mob to be reunited with either. The Job Centre was offering a whole range of positions but was now under corporate ownership of Bang-Hai Industries. Bang-Hai claimed that they wanted to help us become the best versions of ourselves we could be. Their true intentions seemed unclear however as there seemed to be much more to it than they were letting on. With one breath they seemed to embrace the revolution but in the next they claimed  the Masked Man had now abandoned us and that they were the only people we could now rely on. Were they part of the revolution which led to the fall of our beloved Comrade José or were they against it? Either way they seemed to be too close to it for my liking and were not to be trusted. BHi were part of our daily life now however, even down to the social media platform that now integrated into our mobile phones. Everyone was signing up for the latest Social Media Platform ‘Bang-Hai People’ and the highest scoring citizens were becoming famous across not only the platform but the city billboards, screens and posters as well. Despite not having accepted Bang-Hai fully into my life as others seem to have I felt the need to pursue my score (which only seemed to be going down) and make my own mark on the town. Various bugs and connection problems to the city’s communications networks however were hindering my progress.

I was walking past the prison by the town centre when I saw one of the inmates was clearly trying to get my attention from a small round barred window on the fortified exterior.

I approached the window and he pointed at the visitor’s phone next to it. Curiously I lifted the receiver. The Telecon brand phone and prison had obviously seen better days as we found ourselves struggling to hear, shouting down the phones to try and make ourselves understood. This made the whole situation seem a little surreal but did intensify its urgency. From what I could make out he said there was a problem with all the communications in town but that this was just the tip of the iceberg.

The man had been imprisoned for attempting to hack into the Bang-Hai Industries Mainframe. He claimed that himself and his fellow hackers were doing no wrong and that Bang-Hai were the bad guys. He said that he was only after the truth and that the truth would set us free. They were being wrongly imprisoned and needed to get out. The only way he could gain his freedom was if I managed to find evidence that would prove his innocence and the corporation’s wrong doing. It was his last and only hope of being saved.

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for this man holed up in the the heavily fortified jail. My curiosity and my rising distrust of BHi got the better of me and I promised him I would do my best to help and free the prisoner from his confines. I decided the best place to begin my investigation would be to question the man’s captors.

The jailer was stood out in the yard by the visiting area dressed head to toe in some greenish overalls which were adorned with a belt which held a large bunch of keys and an ID badge clipped to their pocket. He seemed to have strangely yellow skin as if they had been transferred over from Springfield and clutched a clipboard on which they were currently writing someone a ticket for a disruption of public order offence outside the front of the building. Once they had finished serving up the fine and the offenders had been dispersed I approached them cautiously but in a friendly manner.

“Excuse me.What’s with these men here? This is some kind of jail?” I said said as innocently as possible.

“Why who’s asking?” replied the jailor still a little suspicious.

“Erm... I am! I’m Jonny. Nice to meet you.” I said holding out my hand out to the jailer who shook it seemingly now off his guard.

He flashed his name badge which indicated he went by the name of Tony Danza.

“Oh Jonny! Lovely to see you! Now.. did you want to book an appointment to see the prisoners? Are you a friend or… erm?”

“I am a friend! I’ve already spoken to this gentlemen” I indicated at the inmate I had conversed with  “I’m sure he’s a friend of mine.”

“Oh he’s a friend of yours is he? Awww, well that’s nice. Although he is one of the most notorious hackers ever!!” exclaimed Tony.

“Really? I never would have taken him  or one. I know he always locks himself in his room but I thought he was up to something else.” I said sounding surprised.

“You know what, he’s got a split personality. He’s not to be trusted!”

“So what’s he done then? What did he hack?” I asked hoping that I could garner some clear details, having struggled with the phone line.

“He’s called the Nuclear Wasteman and he hacked into the CEO’s accounts and tried to halt the development process on the Nuclear Power Plant. Because he’s really environmentalist, he’s like ‘Oh no! Everyone recycle. Everyone be environmental.’ He doesn’t care about money!” she said as if she was disgusted by the notion.

“Well we can’t just leave it there though.” I replied thinking about the great hulking nuclear plant in Sector 6.

A second prison officer approached, equally as yellow and interrupted “Are you flirting with this man??” they asked Tony.

“Noooo. I’m telling him about Nuclear Wasteman.” said Tony to the other officer giving the impression that such questions from their colleague was a standard occurrence.

“So is Sector 6 going again?” I carried on trying to keep my line of questioning on course.

“Sector 6 is going, yeah yeah yeah yeah.” Tony nodded enthusiastically “Sector 6 is running better than ever. Our CEO, he’s made everything wonderful!” he said with a pleased grin.

“I’ll have to have a look then…. Well thank you very much for the information.” I said taking my leave with a parting handshake before either of them could start to suspect my questioning was anything more than innocent curiosity.

I had a new mission, but it was still lunchtime so I picked up some Falafel for my brunch on the main street. As I finished it I spotted a familiar face walking up from Oldtown, one of my chief contacts from the fair. He goes by many names and monikers but I know him best as Martin of the Dank Parish. We had a quick catch up before he had to rush back off to work. He told me he was now employed to head up some of the chief operations in Mayfair District following his redundancy from Central Administration. He gave me the heads up that I was after a piece of the action it was a good place to poke around. So after a quick costume change more befitting the upmarket class of Mayfair I went to see what the deal was.

I entered the grand doors of the Mayfair Bank with the hope of changing my old outdated currency into brand new crisp Boomtown Dollars. A queue had formed at the entryway of the building but after a brief few moments we were beckoned in by one of the staff into the bank itself. The place was bustling and loud with citizens hustling and trading amongst themselves and the financial elite. Soon enough a very well dressed but sleazy looking man approached me asking me what I needed.

“I’m just after changing this for some new notes.” I said pulling my cash out of my wallet.

“Ah, you’ve got the old currency do you?” he asked “I don’t know if that one’s gonna fly.”

“Is there an exchange rate, or…” I started before being interrupted by the employee who, like everyone in here, seemed to be in some kind of rush.

“Yeah… I tell you what… all of that, for this.” he said holding up a single $100 note.

“What about two of them or…” I interjected but was then myself cut off.

“How much you got?” he said with greed in his eyes.

“I’ve counted out about $280 worth of notes of old currency.”

“What’s that??” he said pointing at a couple of my odder looking notes.

“That’s a bit of Downtown money. I don’t know if that’s valid up here?” I queried.

“It’s no use up here.” he said shaking his head.

As he did so a young woman approached me waving a handful of cash around offering to exchange it herself.  “I’ll give you the money if you give me all of that.” she said excitedly and another round of haggling commenced. Back and forth it went as she relentlessly tried to do me out of pocket with greed shining in her eyes.

“No deal! It’s not happening” I told her dismissively.

I turned away from her and the bank employee had disappeared off into the crowd like a devil disappearing in a puff of smoke and I was still stuck with my out of date currency in hand.

I hovered around from group to group for a time searching for someone that could help.

“OKAAAAY. FINAL CHANCE FOR MAKING SOME MOOLAAAH!” shouted one of the bank’s employees above the cacophony of the crowds “WHO WANTS TO MAKE SOME MONAAAYYY?”

I found myself swept up in the excitement and the crowd as we formed a little huddle in earnest interest.

“WE NEED INVESTMENT IN PEOPLE!” he proclaimed “It’s all good when it’s a Bang-Hai Economy! Who likes mundane tasks?”

“NO ONE!” I declared with enthusiasm.

“I don’t like them. But I do find them very fucking easy.” he replied. “Now, who finds mundane things easy?? You two! Up you come sirs. Up to the front!” he beckoned two eager young lads forward from the crowd and stood them in front of us.

“Alright! Who wants to make some money on the mundane?? It’s just liking wiping your ass. It’s that simple, you just gotta be good at deciding who is gonna be able to complete this task. RIIGHT! All I need you two to do is quite simple. It’s just swapping clothes, it’s easy. But I mean everything! You can’t start yet. You’ve got a minute to do it. If you can do it in a minute then the investors win some money!” he said holding up one bucket. He held up a second bucket and waved it at the crowd “Bet against them though and you could still make money! Who thinks they can swap clothes in a minute?”

The bank worker and a colleague of his then went along the crowd with some buckets. I decided to put some of my money in betting against them completing the task, hoping that I could get something back on my investment and maybe some 2018 banknotes.

“That’s everything under one minute!” he re-iterated “And that’s everything. EVERY-THING.”

The crowd placed their bets into the two buckets and the countdown began.

“Five, four, three, two, one! GO! COME ON!” he shouted.

The two lads began flailing about trying to undress in the middle of the bank. Various cameraphones suddenly appeared as they struggled and fought with items of clothing, hopping about from foot to foot. As I had suspected however they avoiding exchanging their underwear. As the timer counted down and I could feel the excitement increasing to a frenzy.

The 60 seconds timed out and both groups cheered thinking they had won, but my side was soon vindicated.

“They did not change pants soooo…..” He held the winning bucket high up and we grabbed our winnings from the two buckets. Shouts of victory were heard as we grabbed our cash feeling the rush of gambling and capitalism in one brief rapture.

I checked my wallet and found I still had plenty of the older notes to exchange so milled round for a bit trying to find where I might be able to swap them.

Out of the crowd a woman approached me. “Can I borrow your elbow for one second please?” she asked.

“Erm, surrre.” I replied slightly confused as she dragged me over to the Cashier’s Desk. An attendant stood at the transaction window and nodded at us both seemingly satisfied by the bounty “Okay, yeah. Now, can we unsheathe the elbow, please? Yes?”

“Yeah.” said the woman who had dragged me over “Get it out… Please… Sweetheart.” she said encouragingly, so I roll up my shirt sleeve.

“Now we’re trying to make sure we have the right clientele.” explained the cashier. “So I just need you to give it a little kiss.”

The woman began kissing my elbow as the cashier continued “And show it some love. Really yeah, take it out for dinner. Oh yeah! That’s it! Make love to it! Oh that’s good, yeah!”

“Do I get paid for this?” I asked hoping for a few more notes to help me through the weekend like the elbow whore I am.

“Not you! She does.” replied the cashier with a little disdain that I had dared even ask.

“Oh okay. Well that was payment enough!” I said as I was thrown back dismissively into the crowds by the woman having finished with my elbow.

With all the front desks busy I meandered over to the one nearer the back labelled ‘Exchange’ thinking it would probably be my best option, but it seemed to be closed. The desk next to it was serving customers however so I queued patiently behind a young couple. The banker currently seemed to have them each performing crab impressions in order to obtain some form of information. I struggled to overhear what exact information it was that was being exchanged but it must have been exciting and urgent as the couple left in a hurry and bolted towards the door as soon as they had it “Goodluck and come back if you can’t find it!” the banker shouted after them.

I approached the desk and made my plea again to swap old for new.

“This is no good. That money’s no good. Like I can’t believe it’s touching my desk!” she said in a bratty eastern european accent.

“It said in the Daily Rag Newspaper that we could exchange it in the bank? Surely the rag wouldn’t be mis-reporting?” I said dismayed.

“You know what? I’m really good person. I really am. I’m gonna open a bank account with you. What’s your name?” she asked pulling out some paperwork.

“Jonny”

“And your last name?”

Not wanting Bang-Hai to be keeping any more tabs on me I decided it was time for a  fake name. I had to think quick though and used the old trick of just reading the first thing you saw which happened to be the sign on the desk.

“Errrm….Open.” I lied “Jonny Open”

“Open?” she said dubiously.

“Yeah!” I replied looking from side to side in a rather suspicious fashion.

“I kind of get the feeling you are lying to me Jonny. But you know what? I’m a nice person. Imma open a signature account with you Jonny. And with a signature account, what happens is you get a thousand dollars for opening an account with us, because we are nice people and we are here to help you!”

“Yeah, I can see that. I can see that.” I said nodding my head.

“Yeah but there’s a procedural charge when we open this. I can give you 500 today to spend it. You wanna give me all that money.” she said indicating at my old currency.

“Here you go.” I said handing over my old cash.

“Amazing. One hundred, two, three, four, five.” she places the notes into my palm. “And if you don’t mind just putting your signature there.” she indicated to a form which I dutifully signed J.Open. “Amazing Jonny.” she continued “And you know what, just because I like you I’m going to give you a piece of advice. Be careful where you stick your dick and your signature.”

“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you very much! Have a great day!”

“You too!” she bid me farewell as I disappeared back into the crowds, putting my money safely into my wallet as I left the bank back out onto the streets of Mayfair.

I soon find myself on Butler’s Alley, where all the most exclusive boutiques in Mayfair lay. On the steps of the Tat Modern gallery stood Boomtown’s own version of Neil Buchanan who was gathering a small group of art enthusiasts around him in preparation for an Art Attack.

“So what we’re doing is we’re making art all day here!” he declared to the group “So who here is the artist in this group?”

A young lady by the name of Ella was edged proudly forwards by her friends.

“What you’re gonna do, Ella, is have a look around. Take it all in. Take it ALL in. Take my big Art Attack in. And what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna choose something to paint and we’re gonna count down from 60 and you’re gonna have 60 seconds to make a brilliant bit of art.”

“Let me just think… what am I gonna pick... what am I gonna pick??” Ella said sounding increasingly more panicked.

“The art begins as soon as I… you’re not allowed to paint anything until I start counting… so here I gooo….60, 59, 58, 57…”

Ella began to scribble furiously onto a piece of high quality art paper with a bunch of low quality crayons looking at the shop window opposite which seemed to consist of various doll body parts arranged for unknown reasons.

A great cheer went up from the group as the count reached zero and the artwork was complete.

“Now? What are we giving this out of 10?” asked Neil.

“10!” we all shouted.

“And what are we gonna pay for this?”

“400!” shouted a girl from the crowd.

“Anyone up from 400? Who’s gonna buy this beautiful work of art?” asked Neil but no higher bids arrived.

“I tell you what.” he continued “We like to support new artists so we’ll take that off your hands. You’re gonna loan it to us and if we sell it we’ll take a commision and give you the rest back, okay?”

Neil took the piece of art from the lady and welcomed us in to the gallery to browse the other works that were already on display.

I looked around the gallery browsing each piece and examining the exorbitant prices on each. The main hall was full of art lovers and aficionados who milled around the room discussing the finer points of each display. The music of string quartet could be heard throughout the gallery bringing a kind of calm serenity to the room. A group of people stood around a piece of crumpled paper that had been accidentally dropped in the middle of the floor taking a close look at it and admiring it’s artistic properties. One man leaned towards it with his hand outstretched.

“Don’t touch it! Look but don’t touch.” I said worriedly.

“It’s an exquisite piece called Garbage” said one local expert to the gathered onlookers “It’s the most unexpected piece in here.”

“I like it!” I declared in an affirming yet surprised manner.

“It’s the most expensive and valuable piece in the gallery” continued the expert.

“I can feel it’s emotion! I can feel the emotion around it!” declared one woman “I’m smelling blue, I’m smelling purple.”

“I’m smelling something.” I said “I don’t know if that’s what purple smells like.” I scrunched up my nose deciding it was probably something a bit less arty and a little more farty.

Looking about it seemed that this gallery was maybe a little out of my price range but I took in the other works hanging around the gallery with all due diligence and respect before I made my way out. Maybe though, if I worked very hard over the Fair I could come back and return with one of the less disturbing painting to my humble abode by The Heights.

Out on the street a newspaper seller was handing out copies of the Daily Rag. Taking one I went to find a nearby bench to do a little bit of catching up on the latest news and gossip. SECTOR 6: REACTIVATION DEMONSTRATION stated the frontpage. Turning the page there were various articles and adverts that seemed to be cashing in on the previous year’s revolutionary movement, of most interest however was an article regarding the Boomtown Bobbies.

Boomtown Bobbies have said they are keeping the Boomtown Bingo Bonanza at Grandma’s Livingroom 5pm Old Town, under close surveillance. Grandma’s Livingroom has, for a long time, been a hot-bed of radical-bohemianism thought, and there have been suggestions the bingo game could descend into a ‘throwback Friday’ mimic of last years revolutionary takeover by the Masked Man’s followers. The Bobbies have advised all citizens to avoid the area during ‘kicking-out time’

It wasn’t much but it was the best lead I had at the moment but worth a follow up so I folded up the paper, placed it in my back pocket and was on my way.

Heading up Mayfair Avenue past the bars and tube station I saw one of the many huge BHi TV and Advertising screens trudging through the latest programming. An image of the masked man appeared on the screen but when the mask was pulled down instead of the expected smiling face of Nikolas Boom the cackling smug face of the Bang-Hai CEO Rothchild was revealed instead. He soon slithered off into the background and my eyes were greeted with the ongoing steady stream of celebrity based ‘reality’ shows flashing across the screen. I stared dumbfounded and bamboozled by the imagery and began to reflect on both this and the articles I had read in the newspapers over the last couple of days. Could it be that Rothchild really was the man behind the mask all the time? Had he orchestrated the entire uprising and government collapse just to give himself and his cronies more power? Or could it be that the masked was Nikolas Boom after all but Rothchild had either had taken him prisoner? Or even more ghoulish, had Nikolas Boom been buried alive under the concrete the Corporation had flushed into the tunnels  the rebels had been using beneath Sector 6? If either of the last two options had been the case then Bang-Hai would have been able to take the actual rebel uprising and use it to their own benefit. I had a lot of questions but as of yet no answers. I could only hope that my investigations would bring us all closer to the truth.

I made my way to Old Town searching the streets for any clues as I bided my time for the evening’s Bingo session. The streets and alleyways seemed to weave in and out of each other making the town into a maze in itself. These roads were familiar from the previous years but it was still possible to feel rather lost in-between the old tudor style buildings. I passed by the various pubs, venues and shops of the district peeking round every corner for signs of the revolution. If anywhere sounded a likely venue for revolution it was the People’s Frontroom, but the building seemed to be all locked up and strangely silent at that point in the day. Nearby however a large crowd had gathered to see the Stance Crew performing on the Busker’s Wharf. I had come across the crew outside the city limits the previous day. Their uplifting drums, and brass section had brought some much needed uplift and joy to us as we had sat queueing to get through customs. Currently the crew’s Mushroom Person Overlord was dancing merrily to the sounds of the accordion player.

As I meandered onwards I saw posters had been pasted to the outside of the Barber’s shop ‘Jack The Clipper. The posters were all protesting against Bang-Hai Industries planned construction plans to ‘spruce up’ the old weathered district streets. This was in stark contrast to the great billboard nearby which had been erected on behalf of Bang-Hai Real Estate promising that it was ‘Building a Brighter Future.’

Peeping around the ramshackled corners and side streets I eventually came upon the library. The sign read a closing time of 4pm so I checked my watch. Time had definitely flown as it was now 10 minutes before. Best to have a quick poke around before they closed, I decided, who knew what information could be found amongst the dusty tomes.

The library was a reasonably elaborate affair decorated with old antiques and all decked out in fancy carpets with the finest dark wooden bookshelves. The usual quietness of such an establishment however was non-existent as the noise from the Fair outside poured in through the open front doors. As I entered I was greeted by a friendly librarian who looked up at me over the top of her glasses from her desk. Our exchange of pleasantries was shortly interrupted as a gentleman approached with his girlfriend who was on the lookout for borrowing a copy of Catcher In The Rye. I left them to their exchange as I browsed the nearby shelves taking in the various titles available. The nearest shelving to me displayed their eclectic collection of Ye Olde VHS tape. They seemed to have all the classics, Mad Max, Terminator, Steptoe & Son, Father Ted, Twelve Monkeys, Small Soldiers, Tarzan, Wallace and Gromit, Snow White, The Matrix and Captain Scarlet.

“Don’t steal! Or we’ll hunt you down like a dog!” a second librarian shouted at from right beside me at a shifty looking patron on the other side of the room, causing me to jump a little. As I spun around to see what was going on she calmed again and greeted me with a warm hello.

“Hello!” I replied still a little taken startled.

“Hello dear!” she responded again loudly over the sound of the brass band which seemed to be performing just outside.

“It’s a tad noisy in this library.” I remarked.

“We’ve been telling them to quieten down but they just won't have any of it.” she exclaimed frustrated.

“Have you shushed them?” I enquired.

“Oh we’ve been shushing them all day long. They don’t even listen!” the librarian lamented,

“Terrible! Terrible!” said I.

“Oh that’s a very popular one” said the other librarian at the desk to a man who was wielding the Top Gear Alternative Highway Code “Neil Hammond. Jeremy Clarkson. It’s all there dear.”

I continued to browse the shelves, admiring a large map of the city that had been hung on the wall. I pulled out my pocket watch and took a glance “3 minutes to closing time I’d better head off” I thought, emerging into the noisy streets and deciding I’d pick up a library card at some other point.

Looking about, I caught sight of the Boomtown Costumes Company further down the street. The look of the shop from the outside was reminiscent of the old Mad Hatter’s store where the revolution had previously been rooted. I figured this was definitely a good place to try. When I reached the door I was greeted by a woman in a hat and goggles wearing an intricately styled outfit.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked her.

“I don’t know if you do. Are you from Oldtown?” she asked me suspiciously looking me up and down and inspecting my own garb. I was still dressed in a rather presentable fashion following my trip to the bank with black smart trousers, a white formal shirt and a black fedora.

“Well originally I’m from Barrio Loco. I have lived in Old Town but I’m currently living in Mayfair.”

“Typical Mayfair scum!” she said “You are not welcome here!” as she slammed the large wooden gate in my face locking it behind her. I knocked on again but there was no reply. As I looked up two oldtowners, wearing similar hats and goggles stared down at me in distaste before one pulled out a gun and fired off some warning shots forcing me to dodged and run for cover. Not the reception I was hoping for… I would have to try and be more careful with what I said to people.

I managed a rapid and evasive retreat down the road before finally managing to find a nearby alcove in which to hide. Taking a momentary breather I took a calming sip of rum from my hip flask to calm my nerves which I had stashed in one of my back pockets. From my vantage point I eyed up the Pyrite Traders & Thomas Crook establishment nearby, keeping a close eye on the band of brigands who were hanging around the building. The pirates had never really proved to be much of a reliable source of information in the past but I decided it was at least worth an ask. I entered the den of scurvy sea dogs which was trying terribly hard to maintain facade of being a respectable business (but was falling far short). A woman sat at her desk in a large throne-sized chair looking as if she was queen of the pirates herself. By her side stood a scurvy wench who hovered around the desk waving her cutlass nonchalantly in a dangerous fashion. Various pieces of nautical navigation equipment sat on the desk amongst maps and scrolls. How the rest of this exchange went however  is fairly hazy to me now but that could be to do with the failed attempt at billy-clubbing and a little too much rum. Flashes of maps, parrots, gold pieces, treasures and sea-weathered faces are all an incoherent blur.

I staggered out the pirate’s den with a sore head and the smell of booze on my breath in a slightly confused state. I did however recall that they had been very keen to save the Oldtown Port from the grimy hands of Bang-Hai Industries who wished to bulldoze the whole neighborhood in order to build a swathe of luxury hotels and condos. What I did remember for sure was that the  woman sat in the large chair had recommended that my next stop should be to check out the Wild West and speak with the landlubbers there.

As I passed what seemed to be some kind of shop window I caught sight of the message ‘HACK THE MAINFRAME. DON’T BELIEVE THE LIES’ which had been stuck to the glass using a series of post-it notes. Inside the room seemed to be some kind of computer repair shop with various components and monitors lying about. The building seemed quiet at present though with no sign of the post-it bandits at present.

As I turned around I caught sight a suspicious looking man in a hoodie take a couple of people in through the side door of the Town Hall. I made my way across the square and inspected the now locked door. I recalled that this door lead into the heart of Central Administration itself. After the uprising and a year of disrepair the building was beginning to look worse for wear with it’s boarded up windows and crumbling facade. As I was inspecting the lock on the door a group of tourists approached me

“Is this the town centre like right there?” asked one of the girls.

“Yeah.” I replied

“But like how do I get into THERE?” she says pointing at the door.

“He doesn’t even work here!” said another one of the girls from the group.

“Hello? Anybody in?” said the first girl knocking at the door. “I want to go innnn!”

The group decided to hang around with me by the door, waiting to see if the mysterious figures would re-emerge and drinking from a bottle of rum that was being passed around as we talked amongst ourselves.

After a good few minutes of this the door opened and a hoodied figure popped his head out.

“You seek attentions?” he said in a soviet accent.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked him.

“Yes. Come in, come in.” he said beckoning us through the door and down a dark corridor.

The room was full of computers, monitors, keyboards and machinery that looked like it had been pulled together from the remains of the Central Intelligence service rooms where that I once reported to. The screens displayed scrolling code and command lines with everything networked up to various communications systems. Another two figures, both in black hoodies, were both examining the instrumentation but turned to check us out as we entered. The man who had greetd us took me to one side as another of the three hooded folk spoke to the group.

“What information you have?” he asked me.

“Bang-Hai Industries have been locking people up. They’ve got them all trapped over in their new jail.”

“Oh fuck. Shit man.” he exclaimed.

“Are they friends of yours?” I asked.

“Yeah yeah, of course but we not go to jail, we are secret!” he declared.

The two other hackers seemed to have english accents and had meanwhile begun briefing the tourist group asking them to go round all the small venues in Oldtown to look for evidence to free their friends from the jail. All they needed to get started was a passphrase. They all gathered around him eagerly repeating what they needed to say to progress through their mission “Do I know you friend?” they chanted.

“The future is in your hand.” said the soviet “Your children, they will love you. Come come come, start the mission.”

“GO! GO! GO!” shouted the female hacker as the tourists ran back out onto the streets ready to join the mission.

“Are you friends with the hackers who are all locked up over there then? They said they need some help!” I said to the englishman.

“We are everywhere!” replied the englishman.

“Well you’re definitely here and you’re definitely over there.” I affirmed.

“Who sent you?” asked the woman.

“The gentleman that’s locked up over in the jail.” I replied.

“Have you got the evidence?” asked the englishman.

“Not yet. But I’m looking. Do you have any leads?”

“The entry point into the maze is in Old Town.”

“I’ve been to Old Town. I went to speak with the pirates. I used the passphrase and they sent me to the Wild West so I guess that’s where I should head next?” I asked.

“They sent you to Wild West? Sounds like a red herring to me.”

“It sounded like a red herring to me as well. I thought you might know something different.” I said remembering the times the pirates had sent me on a goose chase in previous years.

“You need to go back to Old Town and ask around again, you have until 6pm. Now go go!” he said and they sent me back into the streets.

I headed back to Old Town, eager to progress in my mission. The only clue I had at the moment was to try Grandma’s Living Room, the place where the wrinkled residents of Boomtown came together for bingo, beats and battenberg. When I arrived at the house the Living Room was packed from wall to wall. A female grime MC in a sports jersey was causing quite a ruckus from inside the the large painting that hung over Grandma’s fireplace. Various geriatric jivers danced amongst the crowd waving their walking sticks around dangerously. I had a peek around the rest of the house combing it for possible clues. There didn’t seem to be any sign of revolution in here at the moment, only an enthusiasm for Lyle’s Golden Syrup and a house that was starting to look very much trashed by all the weekend’s antics. The kitchen and dining room were without any inspiration for my quest so I decided to check upstairs. To my disappointment however the only thing to discover upstairs was a pile of strung out youths giggling on granny’s bed clutching a bag of cans for the lads.

Having checked through all the house I took a seat one of the armchairs waiting for something to actually happen. The MC and DJ were both going in pretty hard spinning up nuff rewinds and the crowd and grannies were definitely loving it. Time crept on and the advertised time of 5pm Bingo had passed and gone. A new DJ emerged in the painting and took to the decks and still nothing happened. Nothing resembling any kind of revolution seemed to materialise and I had found nothing new to go. The hackers at the Town Hall had said I only had another hour to find the next clue so sitting in the living room all night didn’t seem like it was going to get me anywhere, so I left the ruckus of Grandma’s and went back to my street by street search.

I wandered the streets of Old Town checking every nook and cranny (and granny) I could find. From Rimski’s Yard (which was bustling with junk traders) to a large group of Pro-Trump Moles Protestors, to the gathered folks trying to find salvation with the nuns; the whole town seemed to be teeming with activity. Down one of the back alleys of Oldtown Port I came across a couple who were loitering near a suspicious looking doorway. We got talking and they told me that they were both on the trail of getting to the bottom of the mystery of Old Town. The girl, who seemed to be Irish, was quite excited about the prospect and believed they were getting close. The guy sounded like he was also some form of Celt also, but seemed content to let the girl do most of the talking as he flipped through his guidebook and map. Suddenly a face appeared in a small hatched window at the door staring at us all with wide eyes.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked him.

“What did you say to me??” he asked squinting at me with suspicion.

“I said do I know you….friend.” I repeated firmly.

“Are these two with you?” he asked checking out my two companions.

“These two are friends as well.” I assured having got a good measure of them already as they had spilled the details of their own investigations to me.

“Do we know you friend?” said the Irish girl to try and reassure the disembodied head at the hatch.

Down the alleyway strode a gentleman dressed in a black corset tied with red ribbon wearing a black top hat and holding a cane with stockings that came up above the knees. Alongside him was a big hulking cyborg bodyguard with a cage around his head and a large fuel supply tank on his back. He wore khaki combat pants and had pieces of protective leather armor strapped to him.

“Good evening.” the gentleman with the cane said to the three of us who were still stood outside the door as he approached us.

“Get rid of them. Get rid of them.” whispered the person behind the door who had disappeared closing a curtain across the opening.

“Errrrrr. How you doing guys?” I asked the strange pair trying to pluck up some courage and wile.

“We are good. How are you?” said the gentleman twirling his cane.

“Well I’m pretty good! What brings you here?” I asked.

“Erm, alcohol mostly!” he replied.

“Alcohol? There’s an excellent bar just over there! Have you been there yet?” I pointed towards the tavern near the back end of the port.

“Have we been to that bar yet?” the gentleman asked his hulking companion. The cyborg grunted and shook his head.

“I think you should! Say you’ve spoken to Jonny and you might get a free drink!” I blagged.

“Thank you Jonny.” said the man tipping his top hat slightly to me.

“Have a good evening!” I said as they walked back down the alley towards the tavern.

Once they had cleared the corner I gave it a moment before knocking on the door.

“Coast is clear!” I told them.

“Quickly! Quickly!” the person behind the door said urgently.

Rapidly the 3 of us scooched into the building into what looked like the innards of a former sailing ship. The back wall however was covered in monitors and hacking terminals, just as I had seen in the old Town Hall. The room barely seemed to be lit other than the glow from the screens and equipment.

“Line up here please.” said a woman kitted out in the same kind of hoodie the town hall group had been wearing.

“I’ve got to scan you.” said another who was waving some kind of device around us.

“Arms up! Yes, arms up!” said the first woman “A bit higher. Thank you. Just checking you’re… yep.”

“It’s looking clear. Yep, yep. Virus free. All clear! All clear!” said the scanner.

The three of us were now lined up against the wall with me in the corner. The one who had scanned us turned round to the computer terminals and entered some data “We’re looking good on the system.”

All three of them turned and stood in front of us, the man from the door, the one who scanned us and the other woman who seemed to have the air of authority out of the trio.

“Well greetings all.” I said to them.

“Greetings comrades.” said the man. “This is the Hackers Hub. Have you been on a mission?”

“We’ve not been on a mission yet.” I responded “I spoke to some people in jail. Also for hacking. I presume you know them? They were asking us to find some evidence.”

“And they sent you here?” he asked.

“They sent us to Oldtown. I think we’re in the right place?” I said with hope.

“You are in the right place! Are you committed to bringing down Bang-Hai Industries?” he asked us.

“There’s something definitely wrong with it.” I said thinking back on what I had seen so far.

“It’s more than wrong.” said the hacker.

“They’re talking about bulldozing Oldtown? I’ve grown to love Oldtown!” I said reflecting on the good times the last few years had brought.

“It’s a creeping gentrification with a sinister underbelly and we’ve been working night and day to bring them down from the inside. But we need operatives. Are you up to the mission?” he asked us.

“We’re ready for the mission!” I said having taken the lead.

“Are all of you up for it?” asked the authoritarian woman staring down the other two of my companions who had been yet to speak.

“Yes.” said the Irish girl.

“I’m not sure about this guy.” said the hacker who had been briefing to the Celtic lad who was yet to speak “I can’t even see you, come here!”

“It’s quite dark.” I quipped “Have you considered installing lights?”

“We don’t need lights” said the boss lady as tough as nails.

“Ahhh. Carrots. Lots of carrots.” I concluded.

“We need committed operatives.”  said the male hacker. “This isn’t piss around time!!!” not taking to my comments. He took a moment but then decided to carry on “What I need you to do is to go to the Wild West. It’s a lawless place. There are our operatives, there are counter-operatives. I want you to maintain a very low profile. What you need to do is to go there with your passcode that you used to get into here. You need to use this passcode and do what they tell you to do. I don’t know what their disguise is but find them and use the passcode and they will give you further instruction.”

“Understood, thank you.” I said “We won't let you down.”

The three hackers thanked us for our support and gave us a bit of encouragement for our mission.

“They are everywhere and the walls have ears.” said the one briefing us “Remember, the crow cries twice at midnight.” he grabbed the door handle that would lead us back out into the alleyway. “Three, two, one!” he opened the door quickly.

“GOGOGOGOGO!” I said as we sprinted for the end of the alley back into the port.

In moments we found ourselves back in the bustling Old Town Port. A band played the Cantina Theme on a nearby stage and people jostled about getting on with their more mundane activities.

“Thank youuu! It was nice to meet you.” the Irish girl said to me giving me a smile, then her and her fella disappeared off into the crowds towards the west. I took a moment and then continued on my own path, meandering out from the port, a lone agent once more.

When I arrived in the Wild West of Boomtown the locals were already in the midst of a full brawl with punches thrown and gunshots sounding. The Town Drunk stumbled out from the saloon to lie in a heap on the woodchipped road as the harlots looked on and laughed. Once everyone had tired themselves out, the  brawl came to a conclusion as the tusslers wore themselves out and the defeated crawled off without any fatalities on this occasion.

“Yeah yeah. I’ll be waiting for you!” shouted one as the fighters crowd dissipated.

“You’ll be hearing about this!” replied one of the opposing cowboys as he himself slunk off to tend to his wounds.

“What the hell’s going on in this town now?” I found myself thinking out loud.

A bearded man in a wide brimmed hat was stood nearby at the front of the main street bank nursing his bruises from the fight.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked.

“You might do sir. You might do. Pleased to meet you.” he replied in his distinctly old west accent

“What’s been goin on?” I enquired.

“You know about them Rothchilds and those Bang-Hai tryin ta take over errything with their corporation and their greed?” he asked me.

“I’m very well aware of this.” I said in a grave tone.

“Nikolas Boom founded this town. It used to be a good town. Folks in this town take care of each other. Yeah, we got a few brawls but y’know we take care of each other. That there, that deputy that’s wanderin around here. I KNOW that he’s in their pocket. But that kinda makes one suspicious cos he banged someone up in that jail over there. Didn do nuffin wrong. Folk tryin to hearsay that he knows sumthin.”

“The same seems to be going on over in the town centre!” I said seeing that this was definitely not a localised one off incident. Again I found myself wondering what had happened to Charlie Brown and other key district leaders who had seemed to have disappeared over the last few years.

“I know it’s everywhere, son. But they ain’t our problem. But errm, see that Deputy there. Try an be careful he don’t hear what you sayin when you talk to that prisoner, hear? He knows things, son. I know he knows things! Good luck sir.” he nodded at me and with a tip of his hat he sent me on my way.

I made my way down the street from by the bank where the brawl had been towards the Lawless Halls of Justice. On the corner of the courthouse was the jail. A man stood behind the bars looking worse for wear gripping the bars in his hands.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked.

“I knew you’d say that! Someone sent you to say that?” he replied with a crazed grin.

“That man over by the bank sent me. Rumor is you’ve been locked up for no good reason.”

“Yeah I’ve been locked up for no good reason. I been locked up! I’m an innocent man! All I did was speak the truth! I’m  the editor of a rag which would bring down the Rothschilds. The Lizard People. I’m Jeremiah Hucksley.” he introduced himself.

“So you’ve got some dirt on the corporation?” I asked him.

“Erm, yep yep. Here’s the evidence!” he said as he pulled out a newspaper he had been hiding in his jacket.

“This is what I’ve been looking for!” I said thrilled that I finally had something.

“It’s all part of the puzzle. You get all the little pieces together and you make innocent people free.” he said pleased to be making a difference.

I spent a little while just talking with Jeremiah as he shared his tale and ordeal. The poor guy said it felt like he had been trapped in there for years.

“One way or another justice will be done. Thank you sir. Power to the people!” he concluded.

“Power to the people!” I echoed.

“Freedom of speech, people! Freedom of speech!” he shouted as I left the jail and headed back down the road the direction I had come.

I weaved through the people who strolled down the road keeping a careful eye on the deputy sheriff making sure to stay out of his way.  Momentarily I took refuge in the train station which was packed full of travellers. I recalled that the train station had been taken over by Bang-Hai Industries the year before so made sure I didn’t linger long and soon slinked down the back street to one of the covered wooden porches. Four ladies by the name of The Screaming Harlots were stood out in front of The Rusty Spur singing harmonies for the passers by. I pulled out the piece of newspaper that Jeremiah had given me and began to read it over.

By the sound of it a mysterious group of people had been trying to obtain Boomtown since the very early days and the founding of the town. They had brought claims against Nikolas Boom saying the land was theirs and were going about taking it from him in a rather heavy handed fashion. Could this be the same group of people we were dealing with now? Could this be the Rothchilds, the figures behind Bang-Hai Industries and the current takeover of the city. Could these be the very people who have conspired to overthrow the government over 200 years later to take control of the town? Could this even be the rumored Boominati? It wasn’t much to go on but it was something.

Evidence securely back in my pocket I made it over to the Town Hall to try and find out what our next move might be. When I got to the side door however it was securely locked with no sign of the hackers or any other way in. By the door there was a newspaper rack that had earlier contained saturday’s edition of the Daily Rag. In its place sat a lone document that seemed to have been left by the hackers themselves. This was far from the Rag which was now in firmly under the influence of Bang-Hai. This was Wikileaks scale news, the truth for the people…

I now had both this and Jeremiah’s article but where to go next? Looking round the town centre for inspiration, the prison caught my eye once more. I returned to the jail once more in order to consult with Nuclear Wasteman. I informed him about where I had been and what I had found out so far and he advised that I return to the Town Hall the next day at 1pm, saying my next contact will meet me there. He told me that this was much bigger than just getting him and his friends out of jail. Getting to the bottom of this could not only change Boomtown, but the world at large. We needed to take down the Corporation for the good of everyone before it was too late. I just needed to bring together as much evidence as I could in order for this to happen. Visiting hours were nearly over so he wished me the best of luck and I left quickly before Tony Danza or his colleague noticed that I was back and started asking their own questions.

When darkness fell I decided it was best to have a break and a bit of a knees up. Reel Big Fish were headlining in the town centre and this was one of the bands I really didn’t want to miss. When I arrived in the centre a large crowd had already gathered. The giant screen on the stage was displaying the current highest scoring citizens from the Bang-Hai People Social Network as the roadies finished setting up. The lights dimmed and we were momentarily plunged into darkness before a burst of fantastic lighting from all around as colorful masked performers appeared dressed in the top-hat and goggled style of the past revolution.

After this odd display of possible mass brainwashing of the populace by BHi, the band came on and started their show. Weirdly enough they seemed to follow the theme with one of the highlights being their performance of ‘Sell Out’. It had taken me a while in life to catch on to how much I loved this band. Their Boomtown Fair performance really brought that notion home as song after song I knew and really buzzed off. The crowd danced and bounced around with it proving to be one of the most fun performances I’d seen for a while.

The town crier called a close to the town’s main stage for the night and the crowd slowly dispersed as the skies clouded over and the rain began. As I sought shelter under the arches at the bottom of the main street, I bumped into a couple of my friends, Jack Redeye and Kiva. They introduced me to a couple of the people they had been adventuring around the city with. One of them, Dave, mysteriously looked the spitting image of the drunk I had seen earlier in the Wild West. Dave said he was an expert guide in these parts and recommended that we visit the Asylum for a quick check up.

When we reached the waiting room it was already packed full of citizens sat on the benches that lay along each wall of the cramped room. After a short time an orderly came to fetch me and Jack taking us into one of the patient's room.  The walls were absolutely covered with pictures of cats and a young lady in a tattered old dress with a wild look in her eyes was sat on an rickety spring bed.

“Good evening.” I said to her as she stared up at me smiling, “How you doing?”

She mumbled something, smiling to herself as her eyes swept the room.

“Do you like kitties?” I tried asking.

“Yes.” she said quietly yet warmly.

“Do ye likes dogs?” asked Jack.

“Dogs and Cats don’t really get on.” I said to Jack as if that was news.

“Oh, you ask if I like Dogs? No I don’t like Dogs. I like only cats.” she replied in some kind of eastern european accent.

“Only cats.” I confirmed “You’ve been drawing cats?”  I said examining some of the artwork on the walls “Which one’s your favorite?”

She had a brief think before saying “It’s like picking one of your childs, you know?”

“I understand that.” I nodded sympathetically “Yeah….they’re a lovely bunch.”

“No… there’s only one pussy for me.” said Jack pausing for a moment “That one!” he pointed at a tabby in a picture of two kittens together.

“Yes. They were born together.” she said said pointing at the pair.

“Awwwww.” I said looking at the sweet little furballs.

Abruptly one of the nurses poked he head through the door “Are you showing my pussy? Just here. This my pussy. Her name is Ginger!  This is my pussy.” she said pointing to a lovely ginger one.

“Not bad. Not bad.” I said examining it before we introduced ourselves to the nurse. The nurses name badge either read Steffanie or Cheffy although this was a topic of much debate for a moment. It was not a mystery we would solve however as we were soon beset upon at the doorway to  the room by a male patient dangerously wielding a pair of scissors that he was licking with his tongue.

“Hi!” I said greeting him “You probably shouldn't do that. It’s dangerous. Especially don’t run with them.”

“Is he disturbing you?” asked Cheffy.

“Well he is running about with scissors. Although I think he may be the one that’s disturbed.” I said.

“We’ve been trying to get the scissors off  him.” said Cheffy shaking her head as the patient began to try and stick the scissors up his bum.

“Erm….uh-oh!” I exclaimed indicating the issue to the nurse.

“Here we go. One….two….threee!!” said Chefft as the patient jammed the scissors up between his cheeks as this was a normal and acceptable occurrence in this facility.

The patient screamed loudly before breaking into giggles, grinning at us all impishly.

“I LOVVVVE EEEHHHT!” he shouted removing the scissors and offering them to me.

“No. I’m okay, thank you!” I said backing away a little. “Are you gonna…?” I said to Jack.

“How much for that?! Fuckin hell” Jack said enthusiastically.

“Awww. We having special times!” exclaimed Nurse Cheffy, who I was now doubting the credentials of.

“You want some?” the patient said to Jack, grinning as he dragged my friend off into what looked like some kind of closet.

“You’ll burn in hell if you go in there!” shouted another nurse from behind us, with an accent from the american deep south.

The door was locked as it shut “He might regret that.” said the newly arrived nurse in her southern drawl.

“I’m thinking he might.” I said waiting nervously hoping he would re-emerge.

I stood out by the closed door looking around feeling rather uncomfortable in the cramped corridors, ill at ease with both the patients and staff members now.

“You’d best check your friend.” said the southern nurse, urging me to check on my compatriot.

“Jack?! Are you alright mate?” I shouted. A few grunts and strange muffled noises could be heard from behind the locked door.  “I think there’s problems going on.” I said to the nurse.

Then came a series of loud screams and a gurgle.

“Jack? Are you still alive?” I shouted at the door before another shriek from the other side was followed by an evil laugh and then silence.

Suddenly the door opened and the patient with the scissors emerged….but not with Jack. With a completely different man.

“Oh…….. what happened there?” I said eyeing up the two figures.

“This your friend, right?” said the scissors patient.

“Erm… I’m not so sure. He looks a little different.” I said confused

“Yeah, this is your friend here.” said the scissors patient.

“Oh... Of course. Hi friend!” I said deciding it was best to accept the situation and shaking New Jack’s hand.

“Out we go now!” said the southern nurse encouraging me down the corridor along with my new friend.

New Jack seemed to be wearing some kind of hospital outfit and was much taller than the original Jack.

“Are off to have a rave? Is this the way out?” I asked as we made our way down the corridor of the asylum. New Jack lead me to a door, but it was definitely not the way out. We entered what seemed to be the medication dispensary room and my new friend shut the door behind us.

“So… yeah… this is the medicine…. do you take any medications?” I enquired thinking it was probable.

New Jack reached for what I originally thought was going to be some pills but turned out to be a hand full of wax crayons. “Oh. And some lovely crayons here. Do you want to do some drawing?” I asked him. He pointed at the wall where it appeared someone had already been scrawling some babblings.  “Oh I see you’ve done some already.” I said trying to decipher it.

“Draw on the wall! Somewhere fresh!” New Jack spoke for the first time.

“Draw on the walls?”

“Draw on the walls. Make it creepy. Make it creeeepy! Make it super creepy! Like something fragile and needy!” he said to me.

I began to join in with this preschool form of graffiti art writing a distress message of my own when I suddenly I became aware that one of the senior doctors was stood behind me peering in through the hatch that was used to give out the medication. I felt like I had been caught red-handed and began to fear the possible repercussions.

“What are you doing in there?” questioned the doctor curiously in a posh yet foreign accent.

“He’s drawing on the walls something fragile and neeeeedy!” said New Jack.

“Ah! Drawing a penis are you?” said the doctor as if diagnosing a patient.

“Erm…. is that what needs to be done?” I asked feeling like I should be complying. The doctor’s commanding stare seemed to indicate that was indeed what needed to happen so I somehow found myself drawing genitalia on a wall in the medicine store of an asylum in the wild west. I could feel the evening spiraling out of control already.

“Is that good?” I said drawing a large one on the wall.

“It’s not particularly graphic! I like graphic!” said the doctor.

“Oh… like how many penises do we need to draw?” I asked staring at the canvas.

“Oh no, I mean something disturbing like real labia and shit.” the doctor replied.

“Oh… well I’m not really an artist you know.” I said “I went down to the Art Gallery earlier but it didn’t really work out for me as a career path.”

“Oh shit, I see. Do you need group therapy?” said the doctor sympathetically leading me away from the medicine store further into the asylum leaving New Jack drawing on the walls with his crayons. I tried to decline the offer but before I knew it the doctor already had me through the door of the therapy room.

In the centre of the room was a circle of benches and on these benches sat various people who I had seen in the waiting room including Original Jack’s friend, Dave, the town drunk’s doppelganger.

“Ah. It looks like there’s already a group in here.” said the doctor.

“Erm. Hello group.” I said waving sheepishly as the doctor urged me forwards

“Ah yes. Come sit down. There is much therapy available.” she said to me as I took a bench.

The therapist seemed to be sat with one of the permanent residents who she currently who seemed to be inappropriately intermingling with her. “This is a no touching station!” she exclaimed to him batting him away. Her struggle with the patient continued for a short while as she kept trying to reassure us that everything was fine and under control.

In the end, unable to continue with the session due to the patients incessant pestering, she finally flipped.

“GET BACK IN ZE CAGE!” she yelled smacking the patient who made a rapid retreat away from the nurse.  “I didn’t mean to touch you. Sorry about zat. But you had best be off and shut ze door on the way out.” she said to the misbehaving miscreant, who slammed the door heavily on the way out.

“He is very violent. Zat is why I don’t touch him” continued the nurse to the group “Okay now…. On viv ze session. Just say your name cus we’ve all said ours now.” she said addressing the person who was sat next to me on the bench.

“Oh my name’s Peter.” he said giving a little wave.

“Oh. And yourself?” the therapist said looking to me.

“Oh, I’m Jonny.” I said kind of nervously aware that everyone was staring at me.

Thankfully the attention then returned to the rest of the group as people shared short tales and said a bit about themselves. Once we were settled in we moved onto the next part of the session which apparently was going to involve us expressing ourselves through art, which seemed to be a recurring theme at present.

“Now straight our fingers up in ze air like dis.” the therapist instructed, indicating for us to hold an index finger out in the air. “Now you want to look deep, deep into ze mind. Then begin to draw viv your finger vat you see.” she paused and watched as we all began to trace out our pictures. “Now….dost anyvone have any requests of a song for vhile you are drawings?” she asked

“Freebird! Play Freedbird” shouted out one of the therapy circle.

“Yes. I think it goes something like zis… Freebird.  Yeah, I vant to be freeeeee birrrrd...” she sang before we were interrupted by another person peeking in the door.

“Ahhh. Come in! Come in! Welcome to ze therapy session.” welcomed our host. “Don’t vurry, please take a seat. We are just doing ze art, yes.”

Our fingers continued to trace shapes and lines through the air creating our incorporeal artworks.

“Okay… It seems about people have finished ze drawings. ” said the therapist looking around the group before she turned to the newcomer “Before we continue vuld you like to say your name for ze rest of the group?”

“My name’s Dave.” said the newest arrival adding a second Dave to our lineup.

“Hello Dave!” said the group with a slight encouragement from our therapeutic leader who looked directly into the newcomers eyes and said in a deadpan yet matter of fact tone “You’re my wife now Dave.”

While the therapist was distracted one of the men from the group made a run for the door and bolted.

“BYYYYYEEEEE!” said the therapist in a slightly psychotic way before turning to us and telling us “Zey were here because they were particularly troubled.”

“Awww. I’m glad you could help them” I said to her.

“Now ve have settled matters I’m sure he will be fine. Now….I am just looking around ze pictures ve are havings. And I am seeing some very lovely pictures. Now you of course…” she said to the first participant “You have drawn a house as you have issues with your mother.”

The first artist nodded as the therapist turned her attention to the next drawing in the circle. “And you of course, you have drawn a small panda, is that right?” she asked.

“Yes it is! You’re absolutely right!” he replied quite pleased with himself.

“He has problems with his mother.” she said knowingly.

“Oh boy do I have problems with my mother! You’re very intuitive!” he confirmed.

“See. I am very very well trained.”

Eventually she turned to look at mine horrified by what she perceived.

“Do not look at zat picture!” she warned “If you look at zat picture, it vill be in your mind forever! Vat I am seeing there is quite pervy and disturbing! You have a very dark mind!”

“It was supposed to be a giraffe.” I said sadly.

“Well zat is not vat I am seeing  I don’t know know if you should be in group therapy or an art class!”

“I keep telling everyone, art is not working out for me today.”

“I think there is a problem with you….but if we all work together we can cure him, yes?” the therapist said to the circle. The group nodded in agreement so she continued “Now everybody, put your hands on ze man. Whose name….. is gone from my mind.”

“It’s Jonny.” I reminded her.

“If I had had to guess I would of said Jonny….or Dave.” she said. Both Daves nodded knowingly as the chances of a Dave in these parts seemed high “Okay, put your hands on ze Jonny.” she continued as the group all stood up and laid their hands upon me with arms outstretched. “Now sometimes violence arises from ze people. You need to create a violent environment for them in order to draw out ze violence. Let us think of ourselves in ze jungle and how we might be in zere or in ze farmyard. Focus on ze violent sounds and make ze most violent environment for him. Okay… after three. Von, two, three!!!” she declared as a cacophony of animal cries erupted from all around me. The sound was almost deafening as it seemed to resonate from everywhere at once. I closed my eyes and cringed waiting for it to be over as the sound washed over me.

Eventually after what seemed like an age the sound subsided and I heard the therapist's voice once more. “Okay. Now I vant to look in your eyes.” she said.

I opened my eyes and I was now face to face with the therapist peering at me with a medical curiosity “I am seeing…….. a clear mind” she said relieved.

A great cheer rose up from my group including myself as we all celebrated our achievement in the exorcism of apparent dark thoughts (or giraffes) from my mind.

“Go Jonny! Go Jonny! Go!” the group chanted as we all did a little happy dance that carried on out the door as we were released with a clean bill of mental health once more. The partying continued out into the corridors of the institute once more which was breaking out into what seemed to be half giddy riot and half post-apocalyptic rave. People ran rampant shouting, laughing and screaming as drumming broke out against all the doors and walls throughout the asylum to a resounding chorus of “Ohhh Jeremy Corbyn!”

People ran up and down the halls and colorful plastic balls were flung everywhere. Anarchy now reigned in the West and we partied out into a night of saloons, race tracks, dens, sideshows, burlesque and brothels like a wave of energy.

Saturday

After a Pumpkin Katsu Curry brunch I headed into the Town Centre, avoiding enemy agents along the way, to await my next contact with the hackers. Thankfully this worked out well and allowed me to take in one of the Fair’s performances I had been looking forward to, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious 5. I had seen them the previous year in at Tramways in Sheffield but they were totally worth seeing again. An hour of classic hip-hop with some of the greatest legends of the game? Not to be sniffed at. I even managed to run into some friends from Bolton, Hannah and Sophie, and we happily danced about to the Five and guests who totally smashed it bringing the good old skool vibes.

Once the show was over and my friends had headed off to go and see another band I hung around keeping an eye on the Town Hall. Eventually I saw a head peering out of the side door so I carefully approached them looking around for any sign of counter-agents.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked the hooded man peeking out from the gap in the door.

“I don't know if you do.” he said seeming very suspicious of me. This didn’t seem to be one of the hackers I had met the previous day but the way they all tried to hide their faces I was not sure.

“I’ve brought evidence from the Wild West.” I told him.

"Come on then! Quickly!" he said letting me in and securing the door behind us. We made our way down the corridor into the dark interior of the Town Hall.

“Now did anyone see you come in?" asked the hooded man concerned.

"No, not as far as I could see. But I did have to avoid some enemy agents in Wild West on the way up to the town centre earlier.” I told him.

“Double Agents? Hmmm….” he said seeming to mull it over for a moment. A second hooded hacker seemed to be busy in the background typing information onto a computer terminal, this one looked like the woman who had been in her the day before.

"Show us what you've got for us." the man continued.

I explained to him about Jeremiah Hucksley having been locked up at the Lawless Halls of Justice and that it appeared as if the corporation may have been there since the start. I pulled the newspaper out of my back pocket and unrolled it for him handing it over.

“It looks as if we've got some hot evidence here! Quick, get it on the system!” he said passing it to the woman who then took it over to the machinery and began scanning, analyzing and uploading it onto the system.

Another hacker then entered the room, talking excitedly to his colleagues as switches were flicked, commands were entered on keyboards and buttons were pressed. The room became a hive of activity as they bolted back and forth between panels and screens.

The one I had been speaking with brought over a large control box covered with switches and dials which was attached and suspended from the ceiling by a thick cable.

“Hold this.” he said to me handing me the heavy box which I diligently grabbed from him.

“Turn that dial!” he said to me and I rotated the large dial all the way up to maximum “Now enter the code.”

“The code? What code?” I said feeling like I had missed a clue somewhere.

“Enter the 3 digit code!” he said urgently.

“Errrrm…..123!” I said giving it a panicked stab in the dark and punching in the numbers on the keypad.

"Now multiply it by 10." he said taking me off guard once more. My brain stopped in panic and I had what I call one of my ‘maths freezes’ - It didn’t matter how easy or obvious the answer was, it was too late.

"Rachel Riley!!! Where are you when I need you?!" I shouted up into the sky crying for help.

"Erm.. try putting a 0 on the end of it." said the female hacker who sounded very much unimpressed by my failing at doing something so obvious and easy… which it was.  Rather embarrassed I typed in the second half of the code and the screens were filled with computer code scrolling past. It seemed that the key to unlocking the code had been hidden in the newspaper print all the time.

"I've never seen anything like this." said the guy in the background on staring at the terminal screen.

"What is it?" asked the female hacker.

"This code looks like it's from the future!" said the other one staring at it in amazement.

"From District 5 maybe?" I suggested thinking of the alien-tech influenced space port downtown.

“Mission 1 is now complete. Well done” said the leader to me taking the control box back and putting it aside. “What I need you to do now is go and see a man by the name of Andy Roid. He can be found at The Kiosk in Chinatown. Take this symbol and show it to him. He will know what it means.” said the hacker handing me a small square piece of paper displaying the same symbol as they wore on their garments. “Tell him where you have been and that we need help to decipher this Future Code. He will know what to do. Good luck.”

And with that I was sent back out into the world with my second mission started and hope in my heart now I was finally on the right path.

I figured that finding the place would be a challenge to find but it was pretty much the first place I laid my eyes on; a small windowed kiosk on the edge of Chinatown next to the picnic area. It’s green sign read ‘Tech Repair Kiosk’ and was stylised as half barcode/half circuit board. Within the hatched window sat two figures surrounded by all kinds of pieces of technological scrap, parts and tools. Neither of them seemed to look like Androids or even Chinese, but I guess you never can tell. Both looked rather bohemian and were dressed in dark well used formal jackets with slightly battered hats. Looking at them I could have sworn I had seen them both at Rimski’s Yard amongst the rebel rousers previously.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked discreetly flashing the hackers symbol I had been given at him “I’m looking for Andy Roid.”

“Andy Roid? I am not sure if he is here right now. We will see, but first we need to make sure you are really a friend.” said the man who now stood at the hatch as he grabbed some kind of scanning device from the behind him and passed it over me a few times.

“What’s in your pocket?” he said to me.

“Just my phone, wallet and sonic screwdriver.” I said pulling out the contents into my hands.

“Yes. We will just need your phone for one moment then.” he said and  I passed it over to him.

“There.” he continued “You seem to be clear enough. I am Andy Roid. Pleased to meet you friend. Now what can we do for you?”

I related to him what we had found so far and the things that had been happening up on Hilltop.

“Yes friend, we have already received the first part of the code and it is indeed from the future.” he said “But we need more of the code to crack this wide open. Much more code.”

His colleague gave him a phone battery which he then handed to me and he continued “What we need you to do is take the phone battery here to the Telecon up the street and give it to a friend there. The battery has the code hidden inside it. Take it to them and use it to gather more evidence and get more code. Things here are going from bad to worse. We need to hack the mainframe, uncover the truth and spread it. Get it all up on the big screens! The people must know! Make your way up the street to Telecon but stay on the middle of the path and do not stray. The enemy lie in the shadows and they are out to stop you.”

“Stay in the middle of the path. Got it.” I confirmed before briefly going through the details with Andy once more to be sure.

“Oh and you probably want this.” he said taking my phone from his colleague and returning it to me “It’s all clear now so they won’t be able to track you.”

“Thank you Andy. I’ll get the code and we will get the truth!” I said confidently.

“Good! Good! Now go and remember to stay in the middle. Quickly now!” he said waving me off as I made my way onto the main streets of Chinatown.

Chinatown’s wall to wall advertising and neon lights didn’t quite look as in your face during the day and the whole place seemed a bit more relaxed. The Tek Shops, Boutiques and Digital Funfair were all busy with activity as all kinds of crazily dressed fair-goers strolled around, some looking worse for wear following the night before. The Bang-Hai Industries Telecon building was at the top end of the street in an old run down building near the Monkey King Temple.

As I entered 2 customers seemed to be mid-debate with the man who was sat on the front desk and other angry voices could be heard from an adjoining office. Along the back wall were a wall of customer service desks where various annoyed customers waved pieces of paper angrily at the representatives. The door swung open from the side office and 3 people ran out scampering for the buildings exit “FUCK OFF THE LOT OF YOU AND DON’T COME BACK!” shouted a greasy looking man in a shirt and tie before retreating back into his office and slamming the door. Going for the least threatening route I joined the queue for the customer service kiosks.

“Do I know you friend?” I asked the lady at the window when it was my turn, confident that this would progress my situation somehow.

“I don’t think we’ve met, no.” she said looking at me as if I was trying to pick her up.

“Oh… okay. You just looked familiar.” I said trying to cover for myself inadequately.

“So… can I help you? Did you want to make a complaint?”

“Yes. I’d like to make a complaint!” I said thinking it was the only course of action to save face.

“Then just take this form, fill it in.” she said handing over the form with a surprisingly warm smile given the arguments other customers seemed to be having.

I went and sat at a nearby desk to fill out the form. Coming up with a list of grievances regarding the state of the communications links was easy given the fact I had been struggling to get a signal since I had arrived in town and the public phones about town all seemed to be dead as well. I wondered… could it be a deliberate communications blackout to quash the progress of any resistance or were Bang-Hai Telecon really just inept? Frustrated I scribbled down my complaints on the form thinking that I might as well now I was there. While I did so I managed to go through about three different pencils as each one seemed to break in turn. Another complaint to add to the form I guessed, trying to jot it down before another faulty pencil snapped.

Once I had completed the form I handed it back to the lady at the kiosk who diligently signed and stamped it before handing it back to me and advising that it was to be deposited in the letterbox out the front. I followed her instructions but as I stood outside peering through the glass, watching the complaint-o-matic at work, I resigned myself to the fact that the representatives perceived helpfulness was just a ruse. There I understood the real value of our opinions to Bang-Hai as I watched my letter fall straight into a shredder.

Bang-Hai prided itself on wanting to hear about our lives and thoughts and dreams across all their media platforms…. However both that and the entire corporation was just a facade. They didn’t give a shit about anything we had to say; all they wanted were our souls.

Knowing I couldn’t leave empty handed I went back inside, even if I had to face the shouty man I would come out with something!

I approached the front desk and spoke to the man on reception and tried again. “Do I know you friend?” I asked.

“Ahhh…. I’m not really in the loop with the whole thing, sorry. The guy you need to talk to has gone out for a short while. But…. I think he was meant to give you… this. It’s some kind of code?” he said fishing under the desk and handing me a small USB Drive.

“Ohh… thank you very much. Much appreciated.” I said examining it “And you don’t need this?” I said holding the phone battery with the code out to the man.

“Erm. No thanks. You can keep it.” he said looking at it puzzled.

“Oh okay...thanks. Have a great day!” I said thinking that had been probably tons easier than it should have been. Telecon was clearly falling short on the Data Protection front as well and I walked out with the data I needed safely in my pocket.

When I arrived back at the Tech Repair Kiosk, Andy Roid was there to greet me at the window. His partner was seemed to be absent and likely off on a mission of his own.

“I’ve managed to retrieve this from Telecon.” I said subtly sliding him the USB stick making sure no one could see “Apparently it’s got more code on it for you.  I don’t know if it’s of any use?”

“We’ve gotta wait for 3 more of these and but for now we can send you somewhere else. Are you up for it?” Andy asked me.

“I’m definitely up for it! Ready to go!” I said enthusiastically.

“Have you heard about The Scientist?”

“The Scientist? That guy from District 5?” I said wondering if he meant the infamous Dr. Benway, Mob Boss Muuti’s lead scientific expert.

“No, you need to go and find the Mad Scientist of Barrio Loco. And I need you to take this.” said Andy handing me what looked like a cassette tape.

“The info is on here? Or it’s got some kind of virus on it?” I said puzzled by the rather oldskool media form wondering if it was going to load up in some kind of ZX Spectrum,

“It’s not about what’s on the cassette tape. It’s more about what’s in these numbers here” Andy said pointing at the label on the tape indicating a short series of numbers “So anyone that finds it will just think it’s a music tape. We’re getting very close now. Take this to Barrio Loco, there’s a Pop Art Shop, go in there and you should find this Mad Scientist.”

So a short time later I found myself waiting in an Art Shop in the vibrant neighborhood of Barrio Loco stood with two men who were dressed as pigs. The store was attended by a couple of workers who located themselves behind the shop counter, both of whom looked rather out of place in the establishment. They did however confirm that I was indeed in the right place and that The Scientist could indeed help me on my quest. He was was currently dealing with a few other people however so I could be waiting a while.

The shop was quite busy and the wait was indeed very long but I entertained myself by discussing the impressive pieces of art with their creator who was hanging around by the front. On further illumination and examination the majority of the artwork seemed to follow an anti-establishment theme of uprising which did seem a suitable but not very subtle front for the outfit. The rest of the time I spent bopping around to the nearby sounds of the 24 Hour Garage Girls who were throwing one of their famous street parties nearby, and discussing the latest news and events with the two little pigs.

Eventually one of the shops attendants came in from the back door behind the counter to let me know that The Scientist was able to see me now. I climbed the steps over the counter and through the small door at the back of the shop. The room I entered seemed to be a laboratory full of beakers, flasks and tech. The only lighting in the blacked out room seemed to be from a selection of UV lights which illuminated the trippy glowing decorations. The Scientist himself was kitted out as expected in his long white lab coat and goggles and he seemed unperturbed by my arrival.

“Good afternoon friend.” I began “I’ve been sent to find you by Andy Roid. He said you might be able to help us.”

“I've been trying to phone Andy for 2 days now but haven’t been able to get through to him. I’m glad to hear he is okay.” said The Scientist.

“I know the phone signal is terrible. Bang- Hai has put up all these aerials and dishes and I still can't get a signal!” I said still annoyed with the service that the Telecon Company had been providing.

“Bang-Hai are not what they claim. They are built on greed.”

“I know, something about them just isn't right and we need to get to the bottom of it.” I agreed.

“We need to put a stop to the constant oppression. The head of Bang-Hai is not what he seems to be.” said The Scientist.

“Do you mean Rothschild?” I asked.

“Yes. We must bring his system down and stop the corruption.”

“Andy sent me over here from the Kiosk with this tape.” I said handing over the cassette. I explained to him that the number sequence should be the key to decoding additional data. Taking it from me he put the tape under his magnifying glass and examined in closely.

“Ah yes, I see. Yes, this is excellent. The code we have gathered already does indeed seem to be from the future. In order to gather the final bit of data we require, we will have to go into the future and retrieve it from the mainframe itself. You will need to go to District 5, which is itself the future of Boomtown. A mob boss rules there.”

“You mean Muuti?” I asked having met the cyborg mobster previously.

“Yes. Have you met him?” asked The Scientist surprised I knew of him.

“I have but that was at a previous Fair, not in this version of the future.”

“He's a little shady but he can help us with a backdoor into the mainframe. When he asks you what kind of world you want you need to say ‘A world without Masters.’ He will try and distract you by sending you to a Virtual Pleasure World. Go into it but don't look straight at it. Turn the opposite way and follow the green hacker symbols.”

“Like this one?” I said showing him the hacker symbol I had been given at the Town Hall.

“Yes, that’s it. Follow the symbols in the opposite direction and upload the virus into the mainframe. Remember once you are in, look behind you and make a note of any numbers you might see. Once you have done this then let Andy know.”

“I will do so. Thank you very much.”

“Now all I need to you to do is to sit in this chair here and I can begin the procedure to send you to the future.” he said indicating an odd looking seat that was surrounded by electronic equipment.

What happened next is still hazy to me but I seem to recall switches were flicked, buttons were pressed, lights flashed in front of my eyes and there was smoke, lots of smoke.

“Welcome to the future!” I heard The Scientist’s voice say “Once you leave these doors you will find you have jumped forwards in time and are indeed in the distant future. I wish you the best of luck! And remember.... a world without masters!"

The Year 2122

I arrived through the mists of time into Boomtown’s future and found myself on the outskirts of Dstrkt 5 in the year 2122. The buildings were in poor repair and it looked like the area had been in steady decline since the departure of the alien spaceship Arcadia all those years ago. The aliens had left not only advanced technology but a whole series of diseases and viruses that had literally plagued the people. Technological advancement had sadly taken a toll on both the human race and the environment in this time. Atop of an old scrap metal tower in the centre of the district stood the last tree in existence. Oxygen and fresh air was at a premium and not everyone could afford it. The people were clearly desperate and struggling to survive in these dystopian remnants of society. The town’s population seemed to consist of mutants, cyborgs, aliens and thrillseekers come to dance and fuck through the last gasping breaths of humanity. After oxygen and technology, the other main commodity that seemed to have survived was sex. From the brothels to the the latest Sex Robots being churned out by the Robotika Factory, man found his baser instincts were one of the few things that could survive out on these streets. All the while the cold shadow of the nearby Bang-Hai Towers still loomed over Boomtown.

I knew Muuti’s office from previous visits so despite the low key abandoned shop facade I knew where I needed to get to. A queue had formed outside as various denizens and visitors to the district were hoping to petition Muuti for one thing or another. Despite the power wielded by Bang-Hai, when it came to it, on the ground at Dstrkt 5, Muuti was the person you came to. Nothing happened in the district that he was not aware of. His henchmen guarded the door, managing the crowd and staring down anyone that approached.  Every so often the door to the office would open and a single person would be ushered inside. Most would end up being unceremoniously thrown out after a short while having angered the mob boss. Very occasionally though a citizen would disappear completely never to re-emerge. Muuti could be a great ally but it seemed he could prove to be an even greater enemy if you got on the wrong side of him.

At what seemed like an age I arrived at the front of the queue and I became very aware of my weapon holstered on my belt as I eyed up the massive assault weapons that the bouncers were wielding. I had not come unprepared and had brought with me all the future tech I could muster for this venture including tools and the latest in futuristic eyewear. The woman in front of me was giving me a deathly stare and I was glad to have the glasses to at least partially hide behind. Her jaw and mouth were obscured by some kind of cybernetic mask that probably doubled up as some kind of air filter so she wasn’t breathing the same poisoned air I was currently having to deal with.

Eventually our staring match came to an end as the door opened and I was beckoned in by another armed woman. I stepped inside into a short dark corridor which then opened up into the familiar well furnished office of the mob boss. This time however the room seemed to be brimming with a large assortment of plants. The air seemed rich with oxygen and fresh air and I took a deep breath. Muuti sat in his throne like chair behind a large desk. The tension felt like I had entered the headmaster’s office…. if the headmaster had guns and an inclination to vaporise people.

The cyborg henchwoman who had brought me in was now pointing a laser blaster at my head “Arms up!” she commanded and I reached for the skies. I volunteered that she take my Anti-Time Blaster I was armed with to show my good will. Going into Muuti’s den with guns blazing would only get me killed and possibly mulched into Soylent Green.  “Any blades on you?” she asked.

“None, just this screwdriver.” I said nodding to indicate the device attached to the other side of my belt.

“Sonic?” she asked me. I nodded in reply. “Yeah, take it off.” she confirmed. I reached down carefully and safely unclipped the screwdriver handing it over to her. She also had me remove my cyber-eyewear stating she needed to see my eyes. I removed the glasses and powered them down looking her straight into her own eyes. Her own eyes were definitely not her originals but cybernetic replacements. She brought out a scanning device and began searching me for any additional weapons or devices I may have stashed on me.

“Do you know where you are?” she asked me.

“Muuti’s office.” I replied.

“It is. When you’re in Muuti’s office you play by Muuti’s rules. You do what Muuti says. You answer his questions. You don’t piss about otherwise you don’t keep your head attached.” she said in a cold harsh fashion.

“Understood.” I nodded affirmingly as she finished her search of me.

“He’s clean.” the henchwoman told her boss, taking my equipment over and place it on the far side of his desk before indicating for me to take my place in front of the desk.

“Good evening sir.” I greeted him as he looked me up and down with disdain before turning his attention to my sonic screwdriver which he picked up for a closer inspection.

“Nice to meet you again.” I said warmly.

“Sit down.” commanded Muuti.

I walked forwards and took my seat. As I sat down I felt like I has shrunk as Muuti loomed over me from his chair. “It’s been a while” I said.

“I’m a very very busy man. I can’t remember everyone that comes through here...” he said in his usual gruff voice.

“It’s okay, you get a lot of people through…” I began before I realised that due to the time travel I wasn’t actually saw how long it was since I had seen him.

“You keep on interrupting me I’ll definitely throw you out! You understand?? Now sit back please and answer my questions.” he said annoyed “I ain’t got a lot so don’t interrupt. What you ‘ere for?”

“I was sent by Andy Roid and The Scientist to try and obtain more code and hack into the mainframe.” I explained as the henchwoman played with the settings of my Sonic Screwdriver curiously.

“Well that is very honest of you and very up front. But you know who I am?”

“I know who you are.” I replied “You have a reputation. Firm but fair.”

“Is that who I am??” asked Muuti.

“Only you really know who you are.”

“Oh this is getting very fucking philosophical isn’t it??” Muuti said rolling his remaining human eye at me.

“You’re the boss of The District.” I said getting down to the basics.

“Oh there we go. That’s a bit more real isn’t it. Now you giving me facts and not a bunch of suggestions of me being whoever the fuck you want me to be.” he said in an intimidating tone. This did not seem to be going well so far. “I am a district leader. District 5. You know, I run this town. I run this district! I make sure everyone’s safe. I make sure no law enforcement, no government officials, tamper with my social control.” he said before pausing thoughtfully and then staring at me as if he was waiting.

“Understood.”  I said trying to sound confident.

“I protect everybody. I keep everyone safe.” he continued “I like it and all our population likes it. Of course, in our district, not much air to breathe.” he points to his collection of plants “I can jar that and give as much as I want, and I do generously do that for my population. There’s also not many plants apart from my specimens that you see around you.”

“An excellent collection” I said admiring the rich foliage.

“And there’s definitely no animals.” He continued. “So there’s no food. I control that as well. So you’ve come to me, to ask for my services. But what can you actually offer and provide for me?” he asks.

“What is is you want?” I enquired.

“What have you got that I might need?” he asked.

“Oxygen?” I asked… if I went back in time again I could probably manage to bottle a good deal of air from the various forests of Boomtown.

“Oxygen? I’ve got it.” he said in a cocky and unimpressed fashion.

“Well…” I pondered “I’ve got Data.”

“You’ve got data have you? What kind of data ‘ave you got?”

“Future Code” I declared

“Future Code! What could the future code be for?”

“That’s what we’re trying to look into. We were told you could help us.”

“Okay. Let’s just restart. I’m gonna ask you a question. It’s a bit off the beaten track but answer it truthfully and honestly. And don’t deep think about it.”

“Okay, go ahead.” I said prepared for what was coming.

“What is the most pleasurable experience you’ve ever had?” he asked me.

I took a deep breath and pretended to think about it “Virtual Reality?” I said

“Virrrrtual Reality.” he said “That’s absolutely nothing compared to what I’ve been working on.”

“Really?” I said intrigued

The henchwoman continued to play with the sonic screwdriver as we spoke inspecting it closely as Muuti continued “Now it feels to me you have two options in your life.” he continued “You surrender to your pre-ordained destiny… or you stand up and you evolve! So what future is it you actually desire?”

“A world without masters” I said confidently hoping he would buy it, although in my heart my loyalty still lay with Comrade José.

“A world without masters?” he said clapping his hands in congratulations “Now we’re getting somewhere! However….if I give you this chance are you prepared to go through the rabbit hole? And you must fully understand….once you’ve gone through there’s absolutely no turning back. You will never return! Are we prepared to make that commitment?”

“I’m ready for that!” I said with determination.

“You’re ready for that? Well please… follow my assistant.”.

“Take your gun.” the henchwoman said handing me back my sidearm “You’ll need it.”

“Thank you.Your help is much appreciated.” I said to the both of them as I retrieved the rest of my equipment.

Muuti’s assistant pointed me to a strange hatch low down in the wall which lead into darkness. I got on my hands and knees and crawled through the unlit tunnel. Muuti had told me I couldn’t turn back but I remembered The Scientist’s words and looked behind me as the hatch closed up. I was looking for some kind of numbers that would be my next clue but in the darkness I was no longer able to see. I was about to reach for my torch when I emerged from the tunnel into some kind of waiting room. At a desk sat a strange woman with three faces dressed in white who sat at some kind of reception desk. Was this part of the simulation? Had I entered a new dimension completely? I wasn’t entirely sure. The room was adorned with various inkblot tests on it’s walls and had sets of chairs lining the walls. There was a small side table where one would expect to see a pile of magazines but the room seemed surprisingly blank with it’s white walls as if it were the waiting room for the afterlife. A soundscape of ethereal noise seemed to fill the air as if echoes of angels reverberated to the sound of crystal resonance.

“Welcome to Doctor Benway’s office.” said the three-faced woman “Do you have an appointment?”

“Errr… As far as I’m aware…” I said “Muuti has sent me.”

“Excellent. You can take a seat and fill out this form. Bring it back to me when you are done.” she said handing me a clipboard. Taking the forms from her I claimed one of the seats which were all currently vacant leaving just me and the three-faced woman in the room. She sat at her desk sifting through a pile of documents at her desk as if she was looking for something in particular. The form seemed to be a medical disclaimer for undergoing some form of surgery for a cybernetic upgrade. Given the fact I had already had cranial implant installed by The Bodyshop technicians 2 years previous this did not worry me though. In fact my implant had seemed to have been malfunctioning since and could definitely do with a round of maintenance.

Once I had finished filling out the form form I took it over to the desk and handed it over to the mysterious woman.

“Okay Jonny, you will need a number.” she said indicating a ticket dispensing machine on the wall. I pulled a ticket from the machine and looked at it.  

“And what number are you, Jonny?” she asked me,

“36” I replied waving my ticket.

“Okay, just sit down there.” she said to me as I sat back down clutching my ticket. I wondered if I really was the 36th person to have gone through the rabbit hole. And of those 36 people had any successfully made it into the mainframe? There was still plenty of opportunity for failure at this point in the mission.

“Can you see what’s in front of you there?” the three-faced woman asked me indicating to a series of inkblot tests on the wall ahead of me.

“Patterns.” I replied keeping it vague for now.

“Have you seen something like this before?”

“I’ve seen them in the Wild West’s Asylum.” I said remembering the doctor’s office there.

“It is the Rorschach test. It tests your personality and your brain. Which one are you most drawn to, Jonny?”

We slowly went through the patterns with her asking what I associated each one with. She advised me to say what came into my mind first each time.

A butterfly, flying free.

A plant, bringing oxygen.

Speckled Frogs (sat on speckled logs).

Two Gymnasts flying through the air.

And a couple of  robots victoriously high-fiving.

“I see. And why have you been sent here Jonny?” she asked making notes on the paperwork as we talked.

“To get more code and hack the mainframe”

“Who sent you?”

“The Scientist and Andy Roid” I said keeping to the basics. The sounds in the room were growing louder and louder. A rumble of bass trembled through the floor and my ears struggled to hear over a growing cacophony of sound that seemed to emanate from the very walls.

“And you were with the Revolution last year?” she said asking the exact question I had been avoiding all weekend.

“Well, not quite. I was drafted into the military before the regime fell.” I replied keeping it as vague as I felt I could.

I remembered back to that golden age of Boomtown and my loyalty to Comrade José. Both were long gone now though and it seemed increasingly possible that Bang-Hai Industries that had caused this.

As if she was following my train of thought she then asked a follow up question “And have you heard of Bang-Hai?”

“I have.”

“What is your observations about what is going on?” she inquired continuing to check through the paperwork making notes.

“I feel that things are just getting worse, worse and worse. Something needs to be done.” I declared

“What do you think needs to be done?” she asked me.

“We need to overthrow this corporation, get rid of it.”

“You think we can have a future without leaders?” she asked.

“A world without masters!” I replied in my most convincing voice knowing this was a crucial point.

“What do you think your responsibility will be in that world?” she continued.

“Looking out for all the citizens of Boomtown?” I pondered out loud.

“As a Warden? A Safety Officer?”

“In whichever way I can help.” I said as the cacophony of sound seemed to increase again. It was as if cymbals were clashing or a great steam powered industrial machine was crashing through it’s motions. I struggled to hear the follow up question and had to shuffle closer and get her to repeat herself.

“Does destruction seem to follow you around?” she asked.

I thought back to the events previous, the battles of the revolution and beyond. “I’m afraid so. I saw the districts burn last year. I’m not sure if it was necessary or not, we don’t seem to have got anywhere.” silently I cursed the masked revolutionaries. They said they had wanted to make things better but things were now worse than ever.

“You agree with violence?” she asked.

“Well violence hasn’t solved it, we need a different kind of revolution.” I declared.

“How would you police this new world?”

“I hope everyone could police each other.”

“For who’s benefit?”

“For the benefit of Boomtown and the world as a whole.”

She paused before asking “And what do you do Jonny?”

“At the moment I’m a mercenary, which is how I ended up in the military and how I had previously done  work for Muuti.”

“It is nice that you are loyal.” she said without emotion. I wasn’t sure if she was congratulating me for helping out Muuti or condemning me for my mercenary work.

“What would you say are the gifts that Muuti gives you?”

“So far he’s given me this cortical implant but unfortunately it seems to be faulty now and is in need of repair.” I said rubbing the back of my neck where some of the cybernetics had been imbedded previously.

“What is your goal?” she asked me.

“Hopefully to save Boomtown.” I declared.

“Have you been to the bank?”

“Yes, to exchange money from the previous years. They gave us a terrible rate, especially on the Downtown money. They said the Downtown money was worthless. They wouldn’t even give me anything for Muuti’s dollars.”

“Terrible. Yes they are used to doing things their way. How does that make you feel?”

“Disappointed at the time but at the end of the day the money doesn’t mean anything. It’s almost like the Oxygen is the currency here and now. Just the one tree outside in the square, it’s a shame. If only we could have done something to prevent it. I hope we can do something in the past to fix the future.” I said as if in conclusion.

“While we are here, we will explore what the future holds for us.” she said before a momentary pause as she scribbled something on the bottom of my form.

“Now… I have some information for you.” she said beckoning me over.  “When you go to see the Doctor he will give you two ways to go, take the option that seems harder to you and you will have an opportunity to overthrow the entire mainframe. When you are presented with the headset there are two paths you may take, one is going forward and although it may seem counteractive, if you turn round 180 degrees, you should see this symbol.” she explains pointing at the now familiar symbol on a paper on her clipboard “This is the hacker symbol and it is the opportunity to take over. The doctor will see you now, good luck!”

Feeling like I had won over a new ally already, I thanked the three-faced woman and made my way out through the only door in the room, the way I came in now being closed to me. I walked through some sheets of plastic and emerged in a laboratory. The room was full of scientific equipment of various sorts and the beeps and chirps of computer banks could be heard. The walls were coated with a plastic membrane and the room was lit by a series of white lights that adorned the wall. On the far side of the room were two built up enclosures, each with a VR headset by it.

Standing in the laboratory was a crazed looking mustachioed gentleman with longish hair who was wearing a long white double breasted lab coat, black rubber gloves, and large dark lensed laboratory goggles. Straight away I recognised him as the one and only infamous Doctor Benway. He was accompanied by one of Muuti’s cybernetically enhanced minions who seemed to be fulfilling the role of lab assistant.

“Hello. Good evening.” I said entering the laboratory.

“Please remove anything from him that might interfere with the equipment.” said Benway to his lab assistant “Thank you, your effects will be kept safe.” he advised me as I removed all my tech and my hat onto a small metal tray the woman brought over.

“You need to drink this. Please tilt your head back as I put this in your mouth.” he took a test tube from one of the racks in the laboratory that contained some kind of blue liquid and poured it into my mouth. It definitely tasted artificial but I couldn’t quite identify the contents. “Very good” he continued “Swallow it back for me.”

The doctor examined various scientific instruments in the room and then peered back at me “That’s perfect.” he mumbled.

Next he then proceeded to go through various reflex and reaction tests with me, making a few notes to himself as he did so.

“I have had a cybernetic implant previously, will that affect things at all?” I asked concerned.

“I will only know at the end of this.” he replied. “My name is Doctor Benway. In a moment we will ask you to stand inside the cage here, a headset will be place upon you and you will enter a virtual world. It’s fully immersive and three dimensional which means you will be able to look all around you and experience everything that’s going on. Your first job once the headset has been placed upon you is to look for this symbol.” he pointed to a hacker symbol on the wall for me “It’s very important, you just need to look at this for a few seconds; this is the key, this is the gateway, this is the entrance to your experience. Do you understand?” he asked me.

“I understand” I acknowledged

“At the end of your experience, when everything comes to a stop, have a little look around, there should be a little message instructing you to remove the headset. This is your queue… to remove the headset! Do you understand?”

“Ah yes. That is rather cunning!” I said.

“Please enter the cage.” said Benway indicating to the enclosures on the other side of the room. I ducked under the safety bars and stood in the middle. The doctor’s then came over to me and placed the VR headset on me and adjusted the straps.

Darkness turned into light as I was transported into the Virtual World. I found myself in a long tripped out patterned tunnel. A friendly feminine voice welcomed me as I looked around to get my bearings. Ahead of me was a red version of the hackers symbol. I turned myself around and sure enough floating behind me was the green symbol. I stared at as the headset finished it’s configurations and we were off speeding down the tunnels of this information superhighway. I flew through tunnel after tunnel chasing the green hacker symbol, deeper and deeper into the system. At every turn Bang-Hai Industries tried to distract me from my mission throwing adverts and pop ups at me, trying to lure me down the wrong paths. All I had to remember was to ignore the red symbols, follow the green symbols and keep myself focused. At each checkpoint a timer was displayed on the screen counting down the seconds I had left, each time I hit a checkpoint I would gain more time, but had to keep going at top speed to get from point to point. All the while I heard a voice very quietly in my ear, encouraging me, advising and guiding me. But this was not the voice of Benway or his assistant but someone who was directing me from inside the system. I was unsure if this was AI or one of the new revolution guiding me but either way it was good to have a friend and ally with me. Meanwhile in the real world I felt someone take my arm and hold it out in front of me before injecting me with something. The metal felt cold but not unexpected given that I was expecting some kind of cybernetic upgrade to be taking place. In the virtual world I rushed and flew through tunnel after tunnel, turn after turn, chasing the green symbols and making sure I didn’t go the wrong way.

Eventually I managed to find my way to what looked like a physical computer terminal. A window popped up asking if I wanted to upload the virus into the mainframe. I clicked okay and the upload began, the security system tried to counter it but it was too late. The virus finished it’s upload and the entire system began to glitch out. The voice in my ear congratulated me saying my mission was now complete and a message popped up in front of me saying the hack would be fully activated on sunday at Bang-Hai Towers at 23:45.

The message advising me to take off my headset then popped up and I carefully removed it.

“Thank you.” I said to the doctor and his assistant “The mission was successful. Your help has been much appreciated.”

“Keep right there please. Please try to keep your eyes open; I’m going to shine this light into them, it’s going to be very difficult. Ah yes….that’s very good. That’s wonderful. It’s definitely taking effect.” he said as he shined the light straight into my eyes. “Can you tell me what your name is?” he asked.

“Jonny”

“Congratulations, Jonny! You have been specially chosen. You are now being upgraded. When you entered the room you were given a small amount of blue liquid. Do you remember? You may have felt me administer an injection. You now have nanobots, tiny little robots coursing through your veins, fusing to your central nervous system, flowing down your neural pathways. Do you feel that?”

“I can feel them coursing! Coursing through my veins!” I said.

“That’s wonderful! They are upgrading you. There’s a few procedures we need to go through to make sure this is happening. What I want you to do is just raise your hand up like this in front of you. That’s it, arm in the air, the hand down. I want you to focus on your hand. As those nanobots are integrating into your subconsciousness. If Jonny’s subconscious is willing to have this experience this hand is going to move. It’s going to move. That’s wonderful. Now Jonny I don’t want you to move it yourself, I don’t want you to resist any movements either. Let the nanobots take full control. I want that hand to move. It might just be a finger twitching but it will move.”

My fingers began to separate slowly as I held my arm out in front of me following each and every instruction.

“That’s very good! The little finger’s going there and the fingers are starting to seperate. That’s fantastic, you’re doing this perfectly. And now the hand’s going to turn towards the face as those nanobots take full control of the nervous system. That is wonderful, isn’t that a bizarre experience. And then you’ll notice the hand starts to move towards the face and as it does, it will get quite close, it will make contact and then the eyes will close.” as he finished he clicked his fingers, my eyes were closed and everything was darkness.

The doctor had a very serene, reassuring and calming voice, almost hypnotic in nature in fact….very hypnotic.

“Now, the subconscious is being rebooted” he continued “It’s nothing to worry about, it’s normal. You will be fully aware and able to hear what I am saying. When I count to three I will snap my fingers, your hand will drop down, by your side, your eyes will open and you’re going to feel 10 times more wonderful than you did when you entered this room. One, two, three.”

“AAAAYYY!” I said grinning like an idiot.

“Are you feeling good?” he asked smiling

“I’m feeling good! Are you feeling good?” I said euphorically.

“I am feeling wonderful. I think everyone in here feels wonderful! We’ve all been upgraded! Are you willing to have an experience you haven’t had before? We will see what upgrade you have been given.” he said checking his notes and equipment.

“You have been given one of my favorite upgrades. Do you understand the word Psychokinesis?” he asked me.

“Moving stuff with your mind?” I said unsure if I recalled correctly or not.

“Very good! That’s wonderful. Do you want to try this out?” he asked.

“I’d like to give that a go.” I replied.

“Okay, we can only start with small things for now but as you go over time, over the next few days you will get better and better at this. We will start with something small. First of all can you take a step back please?” he asked.

I stepped back as far as I could towards the rear safety rail of the construct.

“Okay. I’ve got this pen.” he said picking one up from his work bench. “I’m going to place this pen on the shelf here.” he said resting it on the flat safety rail in front of me. “Jonny, what I want you to do is I want you to look at the pen. I want you to really believe that you have the power to reach out in your mind, to move the pen, believe you can do it. Say in your mind ‘Pen move! Move pen!’ almost like you’re going to reach out and touch it and move the pen but you’re not going to use your body, you’re only going to use your mind! Say ‘Move Pen! and as those nanobots integrate into your system that pen will begin to move. Say move pen! Move pen! Tell the pen!”

“Move pen, go on move, do a little move.” I whispered at it willing it with all my might “Move pen. Move pen! Come on you can do it.” I encouraged the object when all of a sudden the pen wobbled and fell over the edge making a cracking noise as it hit the floor. “WHOAH! When I was least expecting it!” I exclaimed impressed by my new ability.

“Wonderful! Usually the pen just moves a little bit, you managed to make it fall off the edge. That’s wonderful Jonny!” said Doctor Benway very pleased at the results of his experiment.

“As soon as I stopped thinking about it, it happened!” I said happily.

“Now look at your hand, really focus on that hand and as the hand starts to move closer, the changing focus of the eyes and as it reaches your face it makes contact and it brings your eyes to close.”

The darkness enveloped me once more.

“I want you to listen carefully to me Jonny.” started Benway “Today when you leave this lab you are going to feel better than you’ve ever felt in your whole life. You will be the best version of you, that there has ever been. You will be more confident. You will be more chatty. The music will sound better, the colours will be brighter! You will feel so wonderful as each minute passes, more and more wonderful and all you will be able to think about is your experience here and if anyone asks you about your experiences here you will tell them what an incredible time you had and how important this was in your life as you feel better now then you have ever done in your whole life! And then you will say ‘I am District 5. I am for Muuti.’ Now when I count to three and click my fingers you will be wide awake. Your eyes will open and your arms will drop to your side and you are going to feel so incredibly wonderful, your going smile at me and we’re all going to feel better. One, two, three.”

And with a click of Benway’s fingers I opened my eyes speaking the words “I am District 5. I am for Muuti.”

“Jonny! Congratulations! You are fully upgraded!” declared Doctor Benway before turning to his assistant. “He’s ready to go.” he said to her and she began to prepare for my release back into society.

With my new re-purposing I would spend a good bit of time in the future of Dstrkt 5. From the busy Spaceport to the Sewage Workz I took it all in. People raved in the streets as they tried to forget their troubles. Even in the Robotika factory’s shipping yard the party raged on to the futuristic sounds of drum, bass and dubstep which reverberated the metal containers that lined the area. While I took in this auditory experience, I was pleased to run into my friends, Cait and Badjah, who were visiting the district to take part in this end of world dance. Up on the platform in front of the factory proper, performed the likes of the legendary Aphrodite and Caspa of the Dub Police to mark this apocalyptic dance experience.

Probably the most curious thing of all in this time however was hidden behind the toilets. At the back of the main loos was a very uniquely decorated ‘Portal-Loo’ - And if you thought the queues for the normal bogs were long, this one left them to shame. Curiosity got the better of me; the general rule of the Boomtown Fair seemed to be that if there’s a queue, it’s worth queuing for. A sign outside read ‘Virtual Reality Peep Show’ and following my flight around the mainframe this was something that definitely peaked my interest. Rumor was that inside a pocket dimension through the portal was a secret members club where the dethroned elite were hidden among some of the most decadent settings in the galaxy.

The queue was being patrolled and managed by two women in elaborate outfits who were covered in far out face and body paints, who said they were aliens visiting from another dimension. I managed to get chatting with a blue haired one about the state of the district and about the Portaloo itself.

“Muuti's VR is shit compared to ours.” she told me, which is an interesting thing to say by someone who’s VR system is inside a toilet.  “You’ve experienced nothing like this before. Anyway, Muuti is nothing but a bastard.” she continued “He's stealing all the air from District 5 and selling it back to us for his own profit. He cares nothing about the rest of us.”

“I am District 5. I am for Muuti.” I thought to myself as the words seemed to echo in my mind. I felt inclined to argue with her but as I wanted to get inside so I saw fit to remain tight lipped.

After an eternity it was my turn to use the loo. It was a good thing I wasn’t desperate! I took my seat upon the plastic throne and one of the women handed me a VR headset which I placed upon my noggin. I found myself flung back into the virtual world and down a shaft of lights and pulsing shapes as if I had arrived in some kind of hyper-lift. I floated out through a grand cityscape of cyberspace tower blocks. The city seemed vast and was full of virtual avatars strolling amongst the buildings. Ahead of me I located some steps which lead down into a multi-level underground club full of digital clubbers. In various places throughout this virtual world I kept coming across signs and billboards that curiously read the same slogan ‘They Sleep. We Live.’ - I pondered the meaning of the saying as I floated around this virtual setting.  I passed through the club and into a small room. Looking down I saw another sign but this one instead stated the words ‘Don’t look down’ but it was too late and I found myself falling down a great pit.

‘GAME OVER’ flashed the message on my headset and I removed it. Once I did so I heard a voice from behind me which asked “What is this password?”

“They Sleep. We Live.” I told the voice.

There was a clunk and the wall behind me disappeared and I was taken through the Portaloo and into the pocket dimension.

The walls of the club glowed in the ultra violet lights and exotic dancers from across the galaxy strutted their stuff upon their podiums. One wall had a series of holes across it which let in light like a field of stars. If you put your eye to them within each was contained it’s own peepshow. The members club itself wasn’t as vast as the virtual club I had arrived through but it was definitely more exclusive. A bar was found near the back and there were various small chairs and tables around the room. After taking in the shows however I found it was getting late (if time existed or not in this dimension) and I had other places I needed to be. Thanking the staff I excused myself and made my way back to my own dimension.

2017

Before I knew it I was back in my own time and having completed my mission I headed back to the Tech Repair Kiosk. When I got there I found that there was no sign of Andy and it had been locked up for the night. A note was affixed to the inside of the window:

‘We had to leave. We had a problem with housekeeping! We need your custom. Please come back tmrw between 1-6PM - FUCK Banghai’

With the rest of my day now free, and the hack not being fully activated till the evening after, I decided it was time to really take in some of the entertainment the Boomtown Fair had to offer.

I made my way up to the Lion’s Den in Trenchtown and sat relaxing on the hill with a tray of Canadian Poutine. I took in the grand sight as the sun set over Ziggy Marley’s performance and I settled in to watch The Specials, for my third helping of ‘Monkey Man’ (having already seen Toots & The Maytals and Reel Big Fish both play it).

This was then followed by the one and only Skindred at the town hall which was just as amazing as I could have imagined as the square turned into one big moshpit. The energy in the city was amazing and the yearly fair seemed to be going well. I had to admit that even the output at Bang-Hai Towers was super impressive with the likes of The Prototypes and Ed Rush rocking the downtown area. I managed to meet up with Badjah and Cait again and we all had a damn good dance.

Meanwhile in Oldtown Bang-Hai Industries had already moved in it’s team of surveyors who were measuring things up against their plans to demolish the neighborhood.  Fights and skirmishes broke out as pirates and angry locals turned up to protest against the destruction of their home. Regardless all around them the party seemed to carry on as if oblivious.

Before bed I decided to sit down in Oldtown myself to watch a puppet show story of how Nikolas Boom had discovered the Lion’s Den Temple back in the day (This is something I’d really like a full video of if someone has one). I wondered to myself were Nikolas Boom might be, was he alive or dead? A mystery for another day. Before I knew it the night had grown old and I settled down back at my home on the hill, looking out across to the ongoing laser light show at Bang-Hai Towers.

“Party on for now Bang-Hai! Because tomorrow, we strike.”

Sunday

It was a beautiful morning in Boomtown and I decided to take a long stroll up to Whistlers Green while I took in the sunshine. At the very peak of Hilltop those that hadn’t overdone it the night before mingled with those that were still up, as they lay on the grass by the large sculpture that overlooked all of downtown. New paths had been routed since I was up here last including a rather pleasant stroll through the woods, the sunbeams streaming through the canopy as a gentle breeze blew through the pages of the books that were suspended from the branches that hung above the way. I emerged from the trees up by the Junkyard Golf course via a beautifully carved archway that had been crafted by the Tree Pirates. The windmills had expanded since the previous year but most of Whistler’s was still very familiar with it’s circles of gypsy caravans and tipis. Arts, crafts and café’s were plentiful up here along with some of the more traditional fringe features. A large group of people gathered out the front of a tent saluting the sun in one of the Fair’s Yoga sessions. Children ran around a Giant Chess set and guitars could be heard strumming on the wind. It was certainly a far cry from the scenes of struggle and corruption that seemed to be prevailing elsewhere in the town. I spent a while pottering about, examining sculptures, art displays and browsing the farmer’s market. As the sun passed mid day however I decided I’d better make my way  down the hill (and the giant steps) in order to give Andy the good news about the mission.

I made it downtown much faster than I had imagined so spent some time just wandering the streets. Over the weekend more and more fly posts had appeared around the town that featured the symbol of the hackers. Some included a mysterious phone number but I still couldn’t manage to get any signal either on my cellphone or from any of the Telecon Booths around town. Accompanying these were the opposing propaganda, wanted posters that were to be found all over the city and across the front page of the Daily Rag featuring citizens that had been found to be associating with the hackers. Big rewards were now being offered for Bang-Hai Industries Most Wanted. Thankfully I had managed to stay under the radar so far but even when I had trolled the staff at Chinatown’s Bang-Hai People Support Office I had managed to stay off the radar so far. Sure, my wristband tracker was on the system but with Andy Roid’s wizardry and tinkering with my phone I seemed to be covered so far.

I got to the Tech Repair Kiosk just after 1pm, checking and making sure no one had followed me. Andy had returned there again by himself and was just settling in for the afternoon. “Good Afternoon Andy.” “Good afternoon. And what can I do for you?” he asked me casually as he looked around making sure no one was listening in. “You told me to return once my mission was complete.” “And is it complete?” he asked. I relayed to him what had happened in Dstrkt 5 and that I had successfully managed to upload the virus into the Bang-Hai Industries mainframe as planned. “Ahhh! My friend! That is really good news! Thank you! Thank you!” he said shaking my hand with a grin on his face. “I was very happy to help.” I said smiling back “Any time you guys need anything.” “The takeover will happen over there somewhere tomorrow.” he said to me nodding at the massive Bang-Hai Towers which stuck up in the sky dwarfing all the other buildings. “Yes. Bang-Hai Towers. Quarter to 12, tonight” I affirmed remembering the information the helping voice had given me within the Virtual World. He thanked me again and with nothing left to do until the evening I went off to have a well deserved relaxing day enjoying the Fair.

And lots of fun was indeed had that afternoon starting with a good ol’ post-mission celebratory cider drinking with The Wurzels in the town centre. They may be getting on a bit but those West Country folk sure know how to party! I sat in the forests for a good while after that taking shade from the sun and sitting in the nice cool sand listening to Kiko Bun performing and watching the shadows of the leaves dancing across the ground. Street parties had broken out across town protesting the Bang-Hai Regeneration Projects, from Mayfair to downtown, unsanctioned events, causing BHi both figurative and literal headaches. I was taking it easy though and Mr. Vegas was definitely another highlight of the day. Vegas was smashing out the dancehall classics as I lay on the hill in Trenchtown. II was really starting to feel the tiredness creeping in from the busy weekend at this point though. I grabbed a drink to perk me up a bit and decided to hit the Mayfair Theatre to take in a show and to watch the sun starting to go down from the balcony there. It seemed the other citizens were feeling the burn as well and as I passed the markets near the helter skelter I saw a group of people lounging around on the grass. One of the group was wearing a long dark hooded trenchcoat. On the back of the garment and near the tip of his hood were sprayed the ancient symbols of Boomtown. I was impressed, the details were very accurate, in fact it was spot on to the badges worn by the Masked Men the year before. He had a bag with him and sported a very long impressive moustache and long scraggly hair. At the time I thought nothing significant of it, just another fairgoer in a great costume I had assumed. Looking back on that moment since however I can’t help but think the man was the spitting image of Nikolas Boom himself the founder of this very city….

I tried to keep it a little civilised for a while and tried to check in to The Park Hotel. My best suit and my passphrase wasn’t of much use however as they said it had now expired for the year and I was too late to use it but should check back again next time I was in town. I stopped a while and listened to the live band on stage and to mingle with the more sophisticated elite of Mayfair. I just couldn’t stop myself from going out to join the partying out on the street though, that was where the real buzz was at this point in the Fair.

Counter agents and bounty hunters were still everywhere, especially with the new Most Wanted List being up everywhere but I found they were easy to avoid now as long as I was careful. I spotted the two from the alleyway climbing the Hippy Highway but managed to stay hidden from view and even track them for a short while myself.

Once darkness hit though I decided that if I was going to hide, I would just hide in plain view. I managed to dig out the brightest outfit I could find complete with flashing lights and raved my way all around the town giddy from my caffeine, rum and general smug sense of achievement. From the UV forests of the Rave Yard to the Tribe of Frog to Downtown, I strutted my stuff and skanked the hell out.

The time flew and eventually it approached the witching hour, the hack was about to go down and the best place to see this was at Bang-Hai Industries very own communications hub at The Towers. I knew a good few of my friends were in the audience to witness the finale of the Fair but the square out the front of the towers were jam packed. I tried hanging round one of the raised platforms on the left hand side where I had bumped into friends on previous nights here but the crowds was so dense it was hopeless.

As Black Sun Empire finished DJing their final tune, the lights dimmed for a moment and the nightly broadcast by Bang-Hai Industries began….but this time it would be with a twist. The grand finale had arrived….

Following my hack of the system and deployment of the virus into the mainframe, all BHi systems had been compromised and we had been able to download all the data we wanted, before they were able to reboot the machine. This meant we were able to take all their dirty little secrets and broadcast them across the city for everyone to see across every TV set and screen.

Bang-Hai Industries had been humiliated and the true depth of their abuses were now public for the world to see. BHi would crumble and the people would rise up empowered by the truth. A world without masters would rise from the ashes of the great corporate machine! Or so we thought….

To be continued….

Back to reality

I would just like to take this opportunity to again thank all the creative team at Boomtown Fair for allowing me to take part and experience this with them. Everyone from the actors to the set designers have done an amazing job and really brought the city and the story to life.

Unfortunately life imitated art and instead of getting a virus into the machine, a couple of months after the Fair, a virus managed to get into my nervous system somehow and I was taken into hospital. It meant lots of injections and tubes but unfortunately not the fun kind Dr. Benway uses. At this point in time (March 2018) I am still not fully recovered and getting my journal written this year has been a long hard slog but one that has kept my mind stimulated and allowed me to relive my adventure (as best as I can recall it now).

I very much hope to make it to Chapter 10 this year so I can continue my adventures but at this time I’m not 100% sure if I will be well enough for my usual antics or even have the money to do so as I am currently unable to work. I remain pretty hopeful though and will count the next few months as training to build my strength back up.

Thank you for reading if you still are and hope to see some of you at Boomtown in 2018!

Epilogue

[sweet-star-storybook]

Hey all, back at it again with the random posts, aha. I have been working on something that will formally address the month long art / comic hiatus I’ve been on, but that’s taking a bit longer than I expected. So as a break (I guess?) I took it upon myself to update what I call my Original Stories Timeline, i.e. a chronological list of all of my story ideas (as of October 2019 anyway). I have not posted this list anywhere, but I like to update it on my laptop every now and again.

There is a bit of ambiguity with some of the years that these were made, as sometimes there’s a difference between coming up with the title or lead character for a story versus actually making it a “thing” with an idea or scenes attached. As an example, Moth to the Flame technically began when I first drew Kiida in April of 2015, but aside from a snippet of reasoning for why she was an archer, the story as it is now did not start to take form until I drew Zander in December of 2017. Other times I flat out can’t remember when some of these stories were made, and digital files don’t always have the correct dates. 

For this post (and for curiosity’s sake), I wanted to add up and categorize them to see just how many stories I have in this brain of mine. It was actually quite a fascinating exercise, so I thought I’d share! I might as well list the titles for each category too, even if some of these are only titles at this point. I’ve renamed a few over the years and others are still working titles, but if any pique your interest at all, feel free to send me an ask about them! I love chatting about this stuff. :)

This got quite long once again so I’ll put it under the cut. Enjoy!

Stories that are old and/or need revamping: 6

Titles in this category:  Pasha & Marley (2003), Sonora (2004), Billy and the Rainbow Fish (2005), Spirit Fire (2006), The Darkest Light (2013), Polarity (2013).

These are stories that I’ve either had since I was a kid and would need overhauls to make them usable, or are simply dormant stories that I haven’t touched in a while and may need similar upgrades. This doesn’t mean that I will revamp all of them, but either way they serve as an interesting look at my progression as a story writer and character designer. My oldest story dates back to around 2003, and to put that into perspective, I was 8 years old that year.

Stories that are just titles / a smattering of ideas right now: 10

Titles in this category:  Fletcher (2016), The Dragons of Kitevale (2016), King Ace (2017), Ochako & Mai (2018), Psychanimate (2018), Mage Lights (2019), Trickster’s Gambit (2019), Switching Gears (2019), The Owlands (2019), Goodnight, Starlie (2019).

I always have too many of these for my own good, but this happens a lot if I have stray character designs that I think could maybe go together, and then before I know it the gears start turning in my head to add something more. I’m also really good at coming up with titles and logos to make me love the idea even more, even if there’s not much else to it. I guess you can blame my affinity for wordplay and clever puns for that, haha. Coming up with titles is really fun, but at this point I don’t know what kinds of stories these will be if I choose to develop them, so I gave them a separate category. Making this timeline reminded me of how many logos I still need to make!

Short films / animatics that I could also make into short comics: 7

Titles in this category:  The Aurora’s Child (2016), Blue (2016), Harpy (2017), Hearth & Lantern (2017), Leif & Shel (2018), The Healer (2019), In Your Orbit (2019).

My background in animation has afforded me the skills of writing for animation, specifically short films. I have always loved short films that communicate their story through little or no dialogue, and using the character’s actions and emotions to do the talking instead. Unfortunately my dreams of making a short film during school did not come to fruition, but that doesn’t mean the ideas have to go away, regardless of what form they take. I’ve made too many at this point to stop now anyway! I will likely do both a comic and an animatic for each one I decide to flesh out, as I want to practice both kinds of storytelling and they each have their advantages. Plus I could potentially make a comic anthology of these shorter stories in the future. Much like the animatics, the comics would likely be “silent”, in that they communicate more with action than dialogue.

Things I call “illustration worlds”: 2

Titles in this category:  Fruit Bats (2017), Lucky Stars (2019)

This one is a bit strange to explain, honestly. I picture these as more of a series of character interactions rather than a cohesive narrative, i.e. snippets of ideas carried out in a bunch of individual scenes, portrayed via illustrations. I am reminded a lot of the character interactions that exist in concept art for games and movies (the ones from Spyro: Reignited Trilogy come to mind). These illustrations would feature characters that could be in any sort of environment or setting, and we learn more about their personalities through each one, whether it’s a simple domestic scene or a fantasy world. There may not be anything much deeper than that, but there doesn’t have to be. A great deal of energy and expression can still be shown with these, and I love illustrations that have their own little stories contained within them. I could even compile them as a series of themed illustrations, hence why I still gave them titles (and once again, titles are fun).

Novels / story ideas I don’t plan on making into comics: 2

Titles in this category:  Shining Trigger (2014), A Mightier Pen (2017)

I’ve always loved writing long-form prose ever since I was a kid, and based on how many words these posts end up having, I can’t say much has changed! As such, I’ve always wanted to write a novel someday, but it does require a different skill set than script writing. With my background in animation and my new love of comics added in, I’ve done a bit of both. I might do novelizations of some of my comics later on, but these stories are, for the most part, better suited as written prose in my mind. They focus more on the characters and dialogue, rather than an imagined visual design. Not to say that novelists can’t paint detailed pictures of a character or world’s attributes, but it is communicated differently via words than pictures, especially when you consider the mind’s eye of a novel reader. That “design” has to be malleable enough for the mind’s eye to interpret, but clear enough so the reader knows what it is. I’d have to make sure that any reader could picture what I’m describing with my writing alone, and that’s a difficult balance to strike for a primarily visual storyteller such as myself, but a challenge worth taking nonetheless.

Large comic stories that have big worlds, a lot of characters, etc.: 3

Titles in this category:  Starglass Zodiac (2015), Id Pariah (2015), Feather Knights (2017).

I call these “The Big Three”, as they are the stories that will take the most world building, character creation, and story development to complete. They will have multiple chapters, expansive lore, several character arcs, you name it. I am very excited to tackle all of this development of course, but I want to make sure these are given the time they need to come to fruition. These projects will take me years to complete, which is why I choose to balance them with smaller projects in between. The potential these stories have is not something I want to squander, so even if the production moves slower, I feel it’ll be worth it in the end.

Smaller comic stories with fewer characters, simpler concepts, etc.: 5

Titles in this category:  Moth to the Flame (2015), The Onomancer (2015), Demon Exchange (2018), Take Wing! Emilia’s Tale (2018), Ashes (2018).

This is worded kind of strangely, but this category is meant for stories that have a smaller “scope” than the larger comic stories I mentioned. That doesn’t mean I love them any less or that they’ll be less developed, but they are far simpler in concept and rely less on the development of a massive world and lore and more on individual character experiences. I feel like any creator needs these smaller projects to tackle every so often, especially when tackling the behemoths gets tough. These stories will also have a faster turnover when it comes to completion, and I hope to complete one of these stories in the near future. These will also help me practice writing good foundations for stories, like proper character motivation, pacing, and relationship development that would translate into investment for the reader. There’s a great degree of skill required to do this correctly for any kind of story, but starting smaller in this regard is usually better.

Smaller stories that are supplements or spin-offs of other stories: 3

Titles in this category:  Counting Hearts (2019), The Serpent and the Sun (2019), Riders of Eldrigar (2019).

I know it probably seems a bit early to be thinking about stuff like this, but I do like thinking about the extended stories or supplements that I could add to my pre-existing projects, especially with characters or ideas that would best be told separate from the main story, be they backstories or another perspective on something. I also like the idea of stories that could exist in the same worlds, but can function independently of them as well. It’s a lot of fun to see how these could connect with each other, like having your own equivalent to a cinematic universe. This category currently only has smaller supplements to my comic stuff rather than fully fledged sequels, but who knows what might happen later on? I need to make the beginnings of these stories first!

And with that, the grand total is: 38!

-me after reading this total and spending way too much time on this post-

In all seriousness though, while it is a bit daunting to see just how many things my brain keeps tossing at me and how much that number has increased in recent years, it does make me excited for the future, even if I panic about time a lot. It tells me that I always have stories to tell, and new ones could be right around the corner. I’ll always have something to work on at least! I might periodically update this post as I edit the timeline as well, but for now, thanks for coming along on this little journey with me! :D I hope it was at least entertaining, haha.

[actualbird]

Hmmmmn do u have any all-time fave fics u could ref? I trust u

OH MAN!!! u didnt specify any fandom so im assuming you mean my all time faves from WHEREVER and OH BOY!!! 

i actually have fic rec page on my blog which spans over a whole bunch of fandoms and has cool legends like humor and angst and stuff (im still working on it tho omg) along with my catchall fic tag where i shove all the fics i reblog. but you asked for my ALL TIME FAVES so here are some off the top of my head (im limiting myself to one per fandom or else id be here FOREVER). 

(note: pls check the tags of fics before you read them)

Designations Congruent with Things by cleanwhiteroom (alt link) [Pacific Rim]

He begins at it already pried apart

OHHHHHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. oh my GOD. okay i lose my shit over Designations Congruent with Things on a yearly basis because it is, by far, one of the most stunning pieces of fiction ive read. full stop. not only is it a feat of fanfiction (it’s GODDAMN LONG. it’s been taken off of ao3, so i cant check the wc, but damn i remember it was long), but as a story, it’s just. god, i dont even know what to say. ive already talked about this fic in a previous ask, so im just going to reiterate all my love again, just phrased slightly differently.

DCwT is an epic piece of Newt/Hermann Pacific Rim fanfiction. it follows Hermann and Newt after the events of the movie and delve painfully into each and every consequence their actions cause. it’s quite possibly the hardest thing ive ever read, for many reasons; the emotions are so vivid and they hurt; the science is so well researched it took me an hour to get through a paragraph because i my brain was still trying to catch up; Run On Sentences For Miles; it’s really, really goddamn long. i remember it got some flack for being over complicated, but in my opinion, the things that make this fic difficult are exactly what make it incredible. it’s overly cerebral in a way two messed up genius scientists would absolutely be. this fic is. i dont have words for it. i have only read the whole thing in its entirety ONCE and i have tried to reread it but goddamn is it difficult. this fic is definitely not for everybody, but it’s a piece of art that gained a bit of a cult following back when it was updating. (theres a fictional band in the fic that inspired ppl to make the band and the music real. RIGHT???) anyway this fic is basically the cornerstone which i worship when it comes to fanfiction as a genre of literature. jesus christ. jesus christ.

World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile [Les Miserables]

Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn’t even opened his mouth yet. That’s got to be a record, even for them.

“I need a favor,” he says at last.

“With what?” says Grantaire. “Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I’d be awesome at cults, I just know it.” He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. “I love chanting, I look great in robes—”

(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)

if youve ever been in the les mis fandom i know you know this fic. i know youve already read this fic. i know that your dog has probably already read this fic. i know that this fic has been recced to hell and back, and currently resides as the most kudo-sed work in the les mis tag on AO3. but im reccing it anyways because it’s just THAT GOOD. this fic got me INTO THE FANDOM. pacing. plot. characterization. teen angst. HUMOR. this fic is perfect. literally no other words. it’s just perfect. i read this in my last few months of senior year high school, and never before have i ever read a fic that actually, truly, felt like it was about teenagers. the narrative and the voice. the dialog. god. if this were a book, id buy it. and that’s saying something because im always BROKE. but id buy this fic. several times. who am i kidding. you dont need to know this bc youve read this fic before. if you havent, please. do yourself a favor. oh my god. oh my god. (and when youre done, read all of idiopathicsmile’s other fics too god theyre all SO GOOD)

catch me if you can by isawet [Teen Wolf]

What do you think of my solution to the Kobayashi Maru?

hands down one of my favorite teen wolf fic. a vague summary gives way to a fic with incredible characterization. fucking beautiful writing style. non-chronological story telling done wonderfully. and gosh, that ending. hilarious in tiny bits that make it all the more better. just, honestly. this fic needs so much more love. it’s my go-to fic whenever i want to understand just how one can utilize suspense and tension in writing. what the hell. what the

Segments [series] by d_aia [Kingsman: The Secret Service]

“Are you sure that’s how you want to tell him?” Merlin asked once again.

“He will need space to deal with situation. It’s how he copes,” Arthur explained and a bit pretentiously at that, if one were to ask Merlin. “I’m giving him a place and a reason to run.”

Merlin chose to shut up.

all fics in this series? my favorite. it’s intelligent, brutal, beautiful. it’s been a while since ive read these, but theres a reason these fics still haunt me. god. god.

Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit by lazulisong [Star Trek: AOS]

It really does take a village to raise a Jim.

The members of the Kelvin’s crew watch over Jim as much as he lets them.

I LOVE THIS FIC SOOOOOOO MUCH. it’s a really delicate, heartfelt piece that isnt afraid to be an asshole sometimes, which is basically jim kirk in a nutshell. not only does it go through an incredible reflective relationship with some rando vulcan who decided to take him under his wing, but it does so in a realistic way that doesnt over dramatize aspects, but still ends up very vivid. also, THERES VULCAN LINGUISTICS. linguistics + fanfiction = 10000000% Best Shit EVER.

fathers and sons by M_Leigh [X-Men: DoFP]

“I have an – interest – in Peter Maximoff,” Erik said, somewhat grudgingly, glaring. “A – familial – interest –”

Everybody stared at him.

“In that – mutantkind is one – large – family –” Erik said valiantly, if pathetically.

“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “No way. No way.”

ghghgfjhdh the first xmen fic i ever read and by far, the most fukcgin hilarious. jesus CHRIST. theres just something subtly incredible about how the author uses phrasing to make every sentence as goddamn funny as they are. im really in love with the comma placement in this fic. every comma is exactly where it needs to be. every em dash is where it belongs. IM NOT MAKING SENSE, but i would send this fic to people as a prime example of narrative humor uplifted via phrasing and punctuation. just read this fic. it’s got Hank POV, Charles being a “strange lecherous Englishman”, Peter being a Teen, and everybody drags Erik’s fashion choices. 

Repeat After Me by queenieofaces [Yuri On Ice]

Victor learns language through mimicry, hears phrases and repeats them back until the inflection becomes second nature. Yuuri seems to communicate best through euphemism, through metaphor, through talking around the subject rather than approaching it head on, and so Victor tries his best to mimic him, to take his words and echo them back.

(Vignettes in language learning and communication, spanning the whole series.)

SO!! FUCKING!!! GOOD!!!!!!!! i think ive mentioned how much i LOVE LANGUAGE and this fic tackles the language barrier in a beautiful, earnest way. as a bilingual, this fic was just so so so good. victor is just bounding with love in this fic and the writing just feels so..,,,,warm.,,,,, 

OKAY i know you only asked for fic recs and not….all these rambles but. i just have a lot of love for fanfiction. fanfiction is so great. we are so lucky. we are so lucky. dont 4get to leave kudos and comments on fics you like! happy reading anon!!!

[supaida]

Tag 9 People You Want to Get to Know Better

tagged by @dumbstruckc

what’s your age? 21, 22 in a couple of weeks on febuary 10th

what’s your current job? I’m a student, an art student i guess even though i dont post my art and its bad.

what are you talented at? remembering useless facts, analyzing narratives (half the time), playing games (i have weirdly talented fps skills, but if a puzzle or action game is too complicated i fuck up a lot)

what is a big goal you are working toward (or have already achieved)? I have a couple that keep me busy. I love doing the gashacast, ive been sorta recording an audiobook of fellowship of the ring for mic practice. I want to complete 52 games by the end of the year which im not very strict with but it keeps me on task (last year i completed 24). Im trying to start up kamen rider beyond as an art/writing project to get those creative areas in motion for me but im having trouble getting started. i struggled with character designing today and havent even tried to name any characters. i would love to build a tabletop campaign but i kinda failed at that in the past and dont have the time or players for that now, even though id like it.

what’s your aesthetic? I dont know? i used to describe homestuck as my aesthetic but now i have no clue.

do you collect anything? ive collected more games than ive played since i was like ten, though i lost a bunch too, from those early days. the past couple years ive started not collecting a single type but various action figures and plushes, i blame my brief tryst with gunpla for starting this.

what’s a topic you always talk about? I COULD ALWAYS GO FOR A STAR WARS CHAT, but dont very frequently because nobody im very close to is super into it. the real answer to this question is definitely kamen rider, especially now because of the gashacast.

what’s a pet peeve of yours? probably a buncha stuff i cant remember but all stuff i feel pretty minor about.

good advice to give? Do that thing.

what are three songs you’d recommend? i cant do this right now so just the ghost soundtrack, and all the homestuck and star wars music, sorry!!!

@bigassrobots @kamen-apple @cannibal-sarracenian @ultramanginga @zawehzawah @tensai-gaymer-mage @datmayohero @neonprodigy @collapsingvigil

[tessatechaitea]

New Super-man #6

This kind of collateral damage is why people hate the Justice League. She owes Kenan a new bubble tea.

I don't have anything snarky to say, I just love this panel. I love Viktor's art.

It's not that I'm not eloquent enough to describe why I love this comic book so much³, it's just that I'm too lazy to figure it all out. I know it has something to do with how Kenan's character is being fleshed out and how his Daddy Issues aren't just the thing that drives him but they have affected who he's become and how he approaches life. I like that the bad guys have a reason for existing and that they're not totally bad guys. And how the good guys have a reason for existing and they're not totally good guys. I like how Kenan and Baixi and Deilan are caught up in a vague political struggle which they've never really considered; they're just young and excited about being superheroes. I like how this is a real world with real characters. I love the fucking art. And Gene Luen Yang is writing an entertaining, humorous, joyful story. I wish that this would be the example for future generations of comic book writers. This should be the standard. Kenan slaps some Starros on the People's Book Club of Ultimate Freedom members, thinking he's solved the problem. But instead, he's just made them even more loyal to Uncle Human Firecracker. Flying Dragon Father chases Uncle Human Firecracker to the cockpit while Kenan tries to get his freeze breath to work. He can't quite get it and just blows in Wonder-Woman's face, so she flings him against the wall where he discovers his future sidekick hiding.

What a great team!

Super-man manages to freeze the Starro off of Bat-man's face because Bat-man is easier to manhandle than Wonder-Woman. It's probably a good thing because Bat-man comes up with a plan to drop the temperature in the cabin to freezing which kills all of the Starros. Of course, that means the People's Book Club of Ultimate Freedom Members are once again free to act like assholes. Except that's when The Great Ten arrive and the Book Club decides working with the Justice League of China to stop The Great Ten from killing everybody is probably the more responsible revolutionary choice. While the fight rages outside, Super-man and Flying Dragon Father confront Uncle Human Firecracker. The fight ends about how you'd expect a comic book fight in which the superhero's father is a participant. Flying Dragon Father is gravely injured when he shields Kenan (who has, once again, lost his powers due to being overly emotional) from Uncle Human Firecracker's final fireworks display⁴. Now that the day is basically saved, Kenan turns his attention to flying the airplane to a hospital.

You can't really go wrong with an origin story that takes bits and pieces from Superman's, Batman's, and Spider-man's origins.

Super-man decides he's going to find who at the Ministry of Self-Reliance ordered the death of his mother, Leather Liberty Goddess, and make them pay. Bat-man and Wonder-Woman agree to help him. They've seen enough bullshit at the Ministry that they're ready to continue with the project but carefully and full of suspicion. The epilogue reveals that Dr. Omen has the body of Flying Dragon Father in a Bacta tank because he's only dead and not dead dead. Plus she calls him "My love" so it's not looking good for her as not the prime suspect in Kenan's mother's death. Kenan's dad might also have some 'splaining to do. What Did We Learn? It's easy to care about people we know and love. It's heroic to care what happens to everybody. The Ranking! +1! So good! __________________________________ ¹I don't mean to suggest that a character like Superman isn't necessary. The DC Universe needs somebody filling that noble role. But too often, he's brought down from that place to try to make him more popular and I think that's the wrong move. Superman should be above pettiness and politics. He should be as close to non-violent as possible. Go ahead and make him so strong that the Fangenders lose their mind over how boring he is because nothing can defeat him. Those aren't the stories Superman should be involved in! Sure, he can stop some monster threatening the universe easily but that shouldn't be the main thrust of the story because, yes, that would be a boring story. Make the main thrust of the story how Superman needs to defeat this creature while also making it to Lois's parents' house for dinner on time because he's trying to make a good impression and they already think he's not good enough for Lois. See how that story works? Two people think he's not good enough for their daughter even though he's saving everything. But he can't tell them that so he has to prove himself as Clark in Clark ways without Superman fucking it all up for him. ²Holy shit! Where in my dark mental recesses did that phrase come from? I almost changed it to "out the wazoo" after my brain suggested "up the yin-yang" because I didn't want to expose the racial insensitivity of my subconscious. But how relevant is this blog, really, if I begin censoring my id? Not that I could since it murdered my superego long ago. ³I'm pretty fucking eloquent, bitches. ⁴Meaning he blew himself up.

[carriejonesbooks]

I was recently talking to someone brilliant, 24 years old, beautiful and that person thought that they had already wasted their life.

There are a million metrics and achievements this person has already notched off – things that I can’t even imagine achieving. That didn’t matter. It wasn’t enough.

She called herself a loser. Her life, she claimed, was a waste.

Half the women I know have created themselves and their dreams and expectations in the likeness of a rom-com, which is explained so well in this column by Heather Havrilesky in Vulture. She wrote:

But your concept of yourself makes no sense. You got it from a rom-com. Age 35 is not an expiration date on your beauty or your worth. It doesn’t matter if every single human alive believes this. It’s your job to cast this notion out forever. I’m 48 years old and I’m determined not to tell a story about myself that started in some beauty-product boardroom, among unimaginative corporate marketing professionals. I fail at this quest often, but I’m still determined.

But then there are a bunch of us who don’t or didn’t care about rom-com images. Some of us have massive savior complexes. Some of us want glory. Some of us want to be remembered forever. Some of us have modeled our lives off Marvel movies and Captain America or Ancient Macedonian kings. We’re not much better off.

From fourth through eighth grade my true life ambition was to take a bullet meant for Bono of U2. I would dive on stage, heroically be killed, die in his arms painlessly somehow. And all of Ireland would be so overcome by my sacrifice that they would instantly broker peace. The entire world would do the same.

Saviour complex, much?

I was a weird kid, obviously, raised on too much Doctor Who and Star Trek. But I wasn’t about romance or babies. I wasn’t into getting married. I didn’t want to be defined by my husband or my marriage or my kids. I wanted to define me. I know! I know! The horror.

But we don’t have to be saviors either. There is so much pressure to be something that our culture, our society, our books and movies and television show, Instagram photos and YouTube videos want us to be.

But what makes us feel truly like we have a purpose, that we aren’t a waste of space and resources, that we matter?  For a lot of us, connections, doing good, friendships. For some of us that still isn’t enough? We are on an endless quest for more, to be better, to do better, to make the most of our time on this earth. Or we are on an endless quest to meet the expectations that society has placed upon us.

We have to find a way to discover who we are and what we want.

Havrilensky wrote:

I’m going to choose to embrace narratives that make me feel more alive and able to contribute whatever twisted crafts I can to this world, while I can.

I’ve been posting a piece of art or a video on my Facebook every Friday because it is what scares me. There’s this weird vulnerability in those forms of communication that make me feel especially vulnerable, but I want to be a better artist. I want to be unafraid about who I am. Those scary Friday posts are part of me going for that instead of just hiding my paintings in the basement.

I grew up poor but in a pretty intellectual household. There were assigned roles. I was the quirky weird one wearing Snoopy shoes. My brother was the ambitious gorgeous one. My sister was the good one. I was the one who read books, who was nerdy and self-righteous. I heard narratives about who I should be all my childhood. I bet you did, too.

Mine were: 

You’re shy.

They thought you were blind when you were born. You still don’t notice things.

You are weird.

You are smart. You’re the smart one.

You aren’t an athlete. You have weak ankles.

You aren’t an artist. Nobody in this family is an artist.

But who I thought I was meant to be was also defined by what was said about my much older siblings but never said about me: 

Your brother is so successful.

Look at his dimples. He’s so beautiful. People just stare and stare at him. What an athlete.

Your sister is so kind. Her heart is so big.

Your sister loves children. Your sister is so good.

Me in a U2 shirt, hiding my face because I’m the quirky one, not the good looking one.

Those narratives shape us. Combine them with comparing ourselves to television tropes and superheroes, rom-coms and Instagram perfection and it’s hard to be okay with who we are. Shakespeare said that comparisons are odious. There’s a reason for that. They make us feel shame. They make us feel jealous. They make us feel less. Or they make us think of others as less.

Here’s the thing: Nobody is less. I’m going to leave you with two solid paragraphs of Havrilensky because her article is brilliant and true.

What if you just decided that you’re an artist, today, right now? You’re sensitive and erratic, maybe. You’re maudlin and also expansive. What would it look like to own that identity, as a means of making art, sure, but also as a means of owning your FULL SELF? You wouldn’t feel as angry at other artists. You would recognize them as kindred spirits. You might notice how your shame matches theirs, and fuels all of you. You might feel proud of your small creations and you might start to see how every single thing you’ve done, every place you’ve been, every town you’ve lived in and left, every friend you’ve gotten to know and then forgotten, they all add up to a giant pile of treasure.

You are 95 years old, looking back at your 35-year-old self, and this is what you see: a young woman, so young, so disappointed, even though everything is about to get really good. She doesn’t see how much she’s accomplished, how much she’s learned, how many new joys await her. She doesn’t know how strong she is. She is blindfolded, sitting on a mountain of glittering gems. She is beautiful, but she feels ugly. She has a rich imagination and a colorful past, but she feels poor. She thinks she deserves to be berated because she has nothing. She has everything she needs.

What is it that you want to be? Who do you want to see? Be that person. Love that person.

Writing and Other News

OUR PODCAST – DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!

Art.

I do art stuff. You can find it and buy a print here. 

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Time Stoppers!

You can order my middle grade fantasy novel Time Stoppers Escape From the Badlands here or anywhere.

People call it a cross between Harry Potter and Percy Jackson but it’s set in Maine. It’s full of adventure, quirkiness and heart.

Moe Berg

The Spy Who Played Baseball is a picture book biography about Moe Berg. And… there’s a movie out now about Moe Berg, a major league baseball player who became a spy. How cool is that?

It’s awesome and quirky and fun.

FLYING AND ENHANCED

Men in Black meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You know it. You can buy them here or anywhere.

Flying

OUR PODCAST – DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness as we talk about random thoughts, writing advice and life tips. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of. Please share it and subscribe if you can. Please rate and like us if you are feeling kind, because it matters somehow. There’s a new episode every Tuesday!

Writing Coach

I offer solo writing coach services. For more about my individual coaching, click here.

Writing Barn

I am super psyched to be teaching the six-month long Write. Submit. Support. class at the Writing Barn!

Are you looking for a group to support you in your writing process and help set achievable goals? Are you looking for the feedback and connections that could potentially lead you to that book deal you’ve been working towards?

Our Write. Submit. Support. (WSS) six-month ONLINE course offers structure and support not only to your writing lives and the manuscripts at hand, but also to the roller coaster ride of submissions: whether that be submitting to agents or, if agented, weathering the submissions to editors.

Past Write. Submit. Support. students have gone on to receive representation from literary agents across the country. View one of our most recent success stories here. 

Apply Now!

  Who You Are Is Enough But You Can Still Be Even More I was recently talking to someone brilliant, 24 years old, beautiful and that person thought that they had already wasted their life.